#i am so sure that michael is a shitty brother

[dedlit]

Kind of a continuation of this

[shadesofecclescakes]

Are you a big fanfic reader? What have you read lately and what's been your favourite fic so far?

Oh mannnnnnnnn. Why don't you ask me to pick a favourite child while you're at it???

Just kidding. I don't have kids. But I assume having to pick a favourite would be hard if I did.

So, am I a big fanfic reader? YES. And what haven't I read lately? We are lucky enough to have so many talented writers in this fandom that it's possible to subscribe to numerous multi-chapter fics to the point where you're just constantly getting update emails. Which I do. It's great. It gives me something to do at work aside from, y'know, work.

*Me at work being smug about being paid to read porn* (Also I just wanted to look at this gif)

So what is currently on my endless update list? Coming up after the cut!

I am an absolute whore for human AU, so if you like that then you will probably like:

The Cure for a Broken Heart by @rofell

a medical student AU based in the Canadian medical system (I'm a Canadian so I was pretty excited about that). It manages to tackle the continued systemic discrimination of Indigenous people in our medical system (and in general), homophobia and the ensuing trauma from those things all while also being informative, funny, sweet, romantic and hot af. Like. It's so good.

Free by @maaikeatthefullmoon

This is another one with with a heavy topic that also does a great job of making sure to break it up with some excellent fluff, hurt/comfort and humorous moments. And it's handled with the sensitivity and thoughtfulness necessary to write something that takes place in a mental health ward and deals with some intense situations. Definitely make sure to read those author notes before diving in. They lay it out very thoroughly.

The Sincere Way by @tsyvia48

A martial arts AU. Crowley is a karate sensei and Aziraphale is his student. Slow burn that keeps you on the edge. The screams I have scrumt at my screen over this one. Plus you learn a lot about karate (but it never gets boring or over-explainey. Excellently balanced) which is pretty cool. Mostly light (there is some angst. This is the Good Omens fandom. I think we are all sad, wet chihuahuas at heart). Funny and sweet.

Terminus by @emotional-support-demon-crowley

Plus One by @caedmonfaith

Astronaut AU. Aziraphale is an astronaut who meets his mission controller, Crowley, over the comms system when he finds himself in need of assistance.

Super cool concept and really well-done in my opinion. Like, I don't do any space or physics-related work (ok I straight-up failed math 9) but I find it entirely believable. And it's well-written which is the entire point. Cute, funny slow burn with an intriguing mystery happening in the background.

Aziraphale has family money but a shitty family (except for Muriel! Never Muriel!) and his shitty brother Gabriel is getting married to shitty Michael, an Earl's daughter.

Aziraphale's family disproves of his entire life pretty much and he has been lying to them about having a boyfriend. Now they are expecting him to bring said boyfriend to the wedding. His famous footballer friend sets him up with their mechanic, Crowley.

It starts as a slow-burn but becomes a hilarious, smutty romp that just gets more and more insane. The chapter titles alone have made me cackle out loud.

Some older human AUs I'm a huge fan of include Old Vines by @sevdrag. Crowley owns a vineyard and Aziraphale is a wine critic. It is so amazingly written. It makes me think of the author Joanna Harris (Chocolat, The Five Quarters of the Orange) because it's SO beautifully, vividly descriptive that I end up craaaaaving wine. So have a bottle on hand if you're giving this a read.

Also the love story in this. My god. I devoured it. The story and the (many bottles of) wine.

There is also Loosely Ballroom by marginalia_device and mortifyingideal. It's a Strictly Come Dancing (Dancing with the Stars in North America) AU and it is so. Fucking. Good.

But it comes with a disclaimer. It's unfinished and looks likely to stay that way. But honestly? Still worth it. It's nearly finished (I think) so you have most of the story. And it's just SO good. It's been a while since I read it but it was one of the first human AUs I read and what got me hooked on them.

If you're still with me...nice! Just know that was me holding back and that isn't my entire list by a long shot. If you want more recs, feel free to message me and also share your own!

I just finished Slow Show the actor AU by @mia-ugly and yes please.

Some serious angst, pining and hot hot smut.

There is another long-form multi-chapter actor au I loooved but I can't remember the name for the life of me. Just that the show they were on was basically good omens and that they swapped roles with great success (inspired by the whole Michael thinking Neil wanted him to play Crowley when he wanted Aziraphale thing).

Thanks for the ask! That was really fun!

[forevercillianmurphy]

im sorry, tommy shelby.

- warnings: death, swearing, violence.

- word count: 3.7k

- my own timeline since I haven’t watched past season 2 lol

- Tommy x oc sister !

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

rebecca was born on a cloudy day some December 1902, twelve years after the head of the family; thomas shelby was born. ever since that day (and finn's birth) he promised not only himself but his family that he'd take care of them. they were the most important thing in his life, and after the war that never changed. though, it grew harder with the night terrors and feeling as if the two had a bounty on their heads every time they stepped out into good ole birmingham. though, the family never once made it seem that way. the two younglings thought nothing much of it really, thinking that that was how everybody else lived. always having people following them around for protection especially if arthur, john or tommy could not be there. so when rebecca turned 20 in 1922, she did not understand why she couldn't come 'out' to society, like everybody else her age. she did not realize how dangerous it was. because again, her and finn had lived in a bubble; something that polly made sure of.

˚ · .·˚

the very night she returned home from school that spring, rebecca was fuming, teeth seething and hair falling out of her braided bun, "why on earth can i not take part in the event tom! how else am i supposed to be seen as an adult and not a child?" she demanded, hands on her hips. tommy had watched his youngest sister scream and shout, pull at her hair for the better part of the hour. once she had realized her name wasn't on the list of the debutant ball, she quickly came home to give a piece of her mind to the head of the family. he said nothing, just watching. she stopped her frantic movements, turned back towards tom and shrugged. she was simply giving up, something that she never did. because she was a shelby, fighting till the very last second. tom saw the defeatedness wash over her like a waterfall, and then saw the tears forming in her eyes. oh how he hated to see her or finn cry, especially at the expense of him. she shook her head, knowing he was about to stand up or say something, and she put her hand up. "you don't want me out there, fine. but just know that i will resent you for the rest of my life as i go leave for university this upcoming fall." she paused beginning to walk out. she took one last look at him, "and just know that i wont come back to this shitty hell hole." and with that she left. tom sat there for a few minutes finishing his whisky and freshly lit cigarette. he sighed, looking up at the ceiling knowing that polly was going to be giving him an earful right about - now.

"thomas michael shelby, what the hell is wrong with you?" she quipped, slamming his office door and shaking his now iced glass. "pol-" she cut him off, "don't poll me, boy." she stated promptly and he knew to shut up. "your sister is this close, this close!" she said emphasizing with her fingers. "to slipping away, and do you really want that? really want that boy?" she seethed, "i don't care what you have to say thomas but she is going to that ball whether you like it or not." she said standing her ground, and he knew it was golden. one to be left untouched. he sighed, "but its dangerous." he stated and she shook her head. "if its so dangerous, find a way to make it not dangerous! you have this whole empire, use it for something good." she stated before walking out. tommy rubbed his eyes, before standing up to go speak to arthur and john, who no doubt would be at the garrison. he knew deep down, he had to let rebecca do this and if he didn't he no longer would have a sister.

˚ · .·˚

rebecca brushed her hair as finn her little brother by 7 years, went on and on about his day at school. she giggled at naiveness and plain stupidness him and his little friends possessed. yet she adored it, and how they still saw life in the most purest form. rebecca on the other hand, her world slowly began cracking a year ago. she accidently walked into the garrison during a 'family meeting' that was in the back and therefore they hadn't heard her. then as they believed her to be sleeping, she heard more speaking and whispers late one night. the world she once saw was not what she saw now. she realized how dark, cruel and unforgiving it could be. so it came to no surprise when her name was not on the damn list but a huge part of her wish it had been. she wanted to be like every other university girl in this town, but she was afraid she'd never be. "alright fi, time to get to bed." she smiled turning around in her vanity chair. fi was a little nickname she gave to him one cold night during the war and it had stuck between the two since. "i don't want to." he huffed, crossing his arms. "you have to, it is quite late. don't let our big scary brother find out i let you stay up past your bedtime." she grinned, running over and tickling him. finn's laugh filled up the room, alerting the whole house he was still awake. francis smiled as she tidied up the kitchen. tommy stirred in his cat nap, feeling a ginormous headache coming on. but as he listened to the laughter and shrieks coming from upstairs his heart softened. his cold and locked heart, always swelled just a bit more when he heard finn's laugh. a contagious one at that.

rebecca shooed the boy after a minute, and wrapped her arms around the almost 13 year old boy. "i cant believe you're going to be 13 in a few days." she hummed, and he started to squirm in her arms. "oi don't become a teenager just yet." she giggled, and he stopped fidgeting. the two sat on her bed for a few minutes more before deciding it was time to get him to bed, "come on love, time to go to sleep." she said letting him get off of her lap. he yawned, and she grinned knowing full well he'd been trying to hide his exhaustion so the two could stay up just a bit more to talk. rebecca was truly all finn knew, he was only 8 when the boys went off to war and when they came back it was a shell of what they had been. rebecca cared for him like he was her own for as long as she could remember. just as tommy thought of her and finn as his own, sometimes. "come on." she whispered, taking ahold of his hand and walking towards the conjoined rooms that were separated by a thin wall and door.

tommy heard from his office the fight that finn was putting up and then it stopped, and he smiled softly knowing his exhaustion finally won. he'd always have trouble getting finn to sleep especially when everybody was over but rebecca - becs - always had a way with him. she was soft, kind, heart warming and gave the best hugs in the world. oh, and a cookie here and there. he looked at the grandfather clock in his office and decided it was late enough, and that he'd finish everything in the morning. he slowly walked upstairs, saying goodnight to francis and he stopped without knowing in front of rebecca's door. he heard her mingling about, getting ready for the next morning and trying to find her one book she'd hid without realizing. he knocked softly on her door, and she knew who it was. she walked over to her door, and opened it to reveal and tired and somewhat bothered tom shelby. she rolled her eyes, and walked towards her bed. he took that as a cue to walk in, and she faced him once she sat on her bed. she sat pretzel style, waiting for him to speak.

"becs, there are things-" she cut him off, "cut the bullshit tom. i don't want excuses." she said coldly and his eyebrows knit together in confusion and then in understanding. "you know?" he asked almost in disbelief and she rolled her eyes again, nodding. "when?" he asked, trying to figure out when she'd heard things. "the garrison last September, right before university started. then again over winter break, here at the house. and then last week when i woke up from a nap." she explained and he stood there processing it. "i know you've tried to keep me and finn safe but tommy." she paused, and he looked up at the nickname. "you cant keep my cooped up here forever. i cant live like this nor will you be able to when I've turned this house upside down." she said a bit lightheartedly. he grinned, "its not like you haven't don't that already." and she smirked. "i am the only female in this bloodline, it was to be expected." she smiled, a genuine smile. "and the only blonde and blue eyed one." he said and she pointed at him, in agreement. he looked down, and thoughts plagued his mind. "tommy...i need to do this. you need to let me do this, i cant stay in birmingham forever. i want a life outside of this place, i dream of faraway places. i dream of chicago or los angeles, i dream of a air so clean it hurts. i dream of a place where i don't fear to step out of my house, where i can be who i want to be, wild and free." she paused as tommy looked up. "i want the fairytales mum used to say and the one's aunt pol spoke about...i want my prince charming far, far away from here. you-you need to let me go tommy. or ill never escape this thing- this place." she said saying the words he'd longed to hear. just not the america part.

"okay." he simply stated, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "ok-ay?" she questioned, and he nodded. "okay." he repeated. she felt her heart flutter and butterflies grow with excitement. she jumped off the bed, and threw her arms around the usually stone cold brother. he froze for a second before chuckling, and wrapped his arms around his baby sister. "thankyou thankyou." she said genuinely, feeling as if she was on top of the world. until she wouldn't be.

˚ · .·˚

rebecca walked down the stairs to find michael and aunt polly waiting for her, at the bottom. because her brothers were out of the age frame, it was determined that michael would 'send her off' and accompany her that evening. she smiled at michael who truly was her brother, as the two had stuck with one another during the war. and being so close with aunt polly, cemented it further. finn shouted from the top steps as michael was about to walk out with her. "becca wait!" he screamed, and she turned around to see her kid brother rushing to hand her a single rose. she knew exactly where he got it from, mrs.hanovers front garden two blocks over. "oh bubba, thankyou." she smiled hugging him. "i hope you have a good time tonight, and break a lot of hearts." he joked and she giggled nodding. "i love you, don't forget that." finn said pulling her in one last time. she smiled, "i love you too fi." she said before kissing his cheek and michael retook her arm. he hooked his other arm on pollys and the three left finn with franics.

the shelby boys and their partners were already at the grand hall, polly walking in shortly before rebecca and michael would walk in after being announced. he looked down at his cousin who practically was his sister at this point, and he saw the nerves beginning to seep over. she could not shake the feeling of dread, and one of fear. she had woken up during the night in a terror, finn quickly running over to check on her. he'd found her in a cold sweat, heart and mind racing. he held her as she shook, not understanding what her mind was fighting. thoughts so unfathomable for her, and one's that would not be dared to be spoken. michael rubbed her arm, and that comforted the blonde. "thankyou michael again, for doing this." she smiled up at her younger cousin - by only a year he liked to joke. he nodded kissing her temple, and she held on tightly to the rose finn had given her.

polly on the other side of the curtain found the boys and their partners, nodding to tommy who stood just a little taller. grace at his side, smiled softly knowing polly had settled his nerves just a bit. the crowd turned their attention toward the debutants and their partners. the crowd gushed, oohed and ahhed over the affair. it was now rebecca's turn, and she felt butterflies flooding her body. michael winked at her and then they walked out. rebecca's champagne-colored dress dazzled the crowd, her blue stone necklace glinting just a tiny bit in the light. rebecca amelia shelby, the girl who shall not be named was finally being seen by many. the shelby girl kept in the shadows for most of her life, raised by her kid brother and so called addicted aunt, had barely seen the light of day for school. let alone, the slum of birmingham. she smiled widely as the crowd clapped for her like they did for every other young lady tonight. michael walked her over towards the family as he had spotted them rather quickly, while rebecca was lost in her own world. they turned towards the family, as the crowd murmured about the young girl. she would not be forgotten, not now and not ever.

they walked up to the group and john quickly hugged rebecca, then arthur and then tommy who only nodded at her. oh for the love of appearances, rebecca silently cursed. aunt polly gushed about her dress and entrance, to which grace and esme agreed. rebecca thanked the women and turned around to look at the two debutants who had just been introduced. she politely clapped, and quickly found her best friend, olivia who Michael had become quite fond of. "please excuse me." rebecca said to the group before walking over to her and brother. "if it isn't miss beauty-" olivia started, "miss grace-" rebecca giggled. the two had recently become quite fond over america and the idea of the west, and what it could possess. their interest peaked when they saw there was a miss america pagenet and olivia was smitten. "miss united states." olivia whispered the last part causing rebecca to laugh loudly. "so did you tell him?" olivia questioned, eyeing tommy who was also eyeing the two. rebecca shrugged, "you didn't tell him?" olivia eyes went wide. rebecca shook her head, "its not like you haven't talked about since the very day you turned 18 and we were roommates." olivia said as a matter of factly. rebecca sighed, "its not that easy you know him, you know them. they'll never let me go. besides i told him about it awhile ago but i know he hates the idea of me in chicago or los angeles without them." rebecca stated and olivia rolled her eyes. "if i didn't love you as much as a sister, i'd march right up to him and go ballistic. y'know that?" olivia smirked and rebecca nodded. she'd been keeping her best friend at bay for months now.

"besides i just got archie to come with us when we do hit the west." olivia said cheekily and rebecca's eyes went wide. it was true, rebecca was smitten the older boy of two years. she had been for years, and olivia loved to tease her about it. "he's going?" rebecca in a whisper and olivia nodded, "he said he couldn't let his little sister fend for herself without him." and rebecca laughed loudly and boldly at this. arthur and john looked over along with tommy who'd been eyeing her the whole conversation. "see shes having a great time, tommy boy." arthur said clapping a hand on his shoulder. to which, tommy shoved off.

"maybe ill have to get michael to come with or at least visit us until you see how madly in love he is with you." rebecca giggled like a little girl. "rebecca amelia." olivia prompted, and rebecca clicked her tongue. "you twisted girl." olivia said sipping her champagne fluke, and archie gave one to rebecca. she smiled at him and thanked the hazel eyed boy who smiled back at her. "whos the rose from?" olivia asked and rebecca smiled, "finn." she said and olivia gushed. "that's so cute where'd he steal it from?" she teased and rebecca laughed. "mrs hanouver two blocks east." and olivia gasped, "that little grifter." olivia said about finn, and rebecca rolled her eyes. she looked back to see her family dispersing just a bit, while tommy and grace stood in the same place talking to another older couple. "i should head back, but i will see you later...at the after party?" she whispered the last part, and olivia smirked. "don't you know it." she smirked, and then rebecca turned towards archie. "as always it is a pleasure." he smiled, taking her hand in his and kissing it. her cheeks turned crimson and she let it fall to her side before turning around and walking towards tommy and grace. he turned towards her, as she walked up to them. he stopped the conversation short, and grace went to go find polly. tommy gave his sister his full attention, and she smiled. "see? that wasn't so bad." she teased, taking his outstretched arm. he chuckled, knowing that the threat of life was not over and done for the evening.

"so what do you think of the idea of a trip out west this winter?" she said gaging his response. "i heard al capone is a great guy." she teased and he chuckled briefly. he'd been in contact with guys in new york and new jersey and knew just how great of a guy he was. somebody just like tommy but even worse. "tell me why you know who capone is?" he questioned softly and she shrugged, and tommy rolled his eyes now. "oi! don't be rolling your eyes at me." she playfully joked and tommy could not help but crack a little bit more. he just laughed, as the crowd began to disperse into the bigger ballroom to have dinner and have some dancing. tommy and rebecca stood their for a brief moment, looking at one another. he pulled a piece of stray blonde hair behind her ear and questioned softly, "when did you grow up?" and she blushed. "i did a long time ago tommy..you just didn't want to notice." she smiled softly. despite all of the rules and regulations he imposed on her once he came back from the war, she wouldn't have had it any other way. the amount of nights in she received with finn from tommy, and her brothers were ones she was going to cherish. "tommy." she said just as he was about to take another step towards the grander ballroom. he looked back and saw nerves and anxiety plagueing her features. he tried searching her eyes but came up short, "i wanted to let you know that i wasn't joking when i was talking about going west." she began and he felt her slipping, slipping from his fingers. "i am going west once i graduate this spring, olivia and i will be going together." she said not sure of his response. but she never got it. as soon as tommy opened his mouth, he looked forward and saw the commotion that he had worried about. an italian mobster outstretched his hand with a silver weapon, pointing it at tommy. for it to only hit rebecca instead as arthur pushed him over.

chaos rose throughout the hall, as tommy screamed. rebecca fell in his arms as he had tried to push her back behind him. her champagne dress now crimson red. she looked up at tommy, as he cradled her in his arms. she could not hear a thing, as she looked up at him. as he yelled for an ambulance, for somebody to help. she pulled his face to look towards her's, eyes swelling with tears in her blue eyes. she knew these were her last moments, and she did not want them to be filled with the ceiling but on somebody she loved. could of been arthur, michael, finn- anybody. her hand finally unclutched the single rose as polly kneeled down. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry!" tommy cried looking down at rebecca. he cried, as she was losing her grasp on this world. arthur was the first one to look back at his sister, then john and then michael. it was as if time was frozen, as the four men in her life watched her breathing her last few breathes. "im sorry." tommy whispered again, words spitting with salty tears. rebecca shook her head, "you did-did everything you thought was right. i-i-i could never fault you for that tommy." she said slowly and brokenly. "i love you so much, tommy." she cried out, and that made tommy cry even harder. "i love you too, blondie." he sobbed. arthur fell to his knees, as rebecca slowly took one last breathe; fighting gravity as her chest weighed down. once tommy realized she'd stop breathing, he lost it. his sister was not supposed to leave this world at the hands of his doings. she was supposed to live a long beautiful life somewhere far away from here, with her two kids, dog and husband she'd long to have. she was supposed to get out of this place and never look back. she was never meant to have her demise be here in birmingham.

tommy cluthed his sister's lifeless body as his world was breaking. polly clung to michael who'd now kneeled beside her. arthur sobbed face down and john grabbed ahold of olivia as she tried to see where her best friend was.

rebecca amelia shelby, the long lost daughter of the shelby clan, the one who shall not be named would be named forever in this town of birmingham.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

oh my goodness!!!!! i hope you all enjoyed, and if you did so please like, comment and repost-- i will love u forever xx

also not me playing the titanic suite medley and crying at the end lol

[frenziedslashers]

Hello can I request a post about slashers with a Charlotte La Bouff kinda reader?

If you can't its no problem.

Well bye bye

Omg I love this idea 😭😭 I am going to be shortening my slasher list so I can do more of these and not feel as overwhelmed. So if there is a slasher on here that I did not go over and you wanted me to feel free to send in another ask my friend!

Slashers with a Charlotte La Bouff S/O (Implied NSFW with some):

Thomas Hewitt:

He would love it, personally

I think he would find it so amazing how bubbly and loving you are. You would probably be one of the few extroverted people that he can handle without you draining his social battery

The love and tenderness that you give to him he absolutely yearns for

Plus he just likes your positivity towards everything. It's something that he often needs in his life with how grim and dull it is.

So he keeps you away from all the bad things that he does and has you helping Mama most of the time. He even give you chances to leave if you really want to. With having you around he sometimes feels like you're a butterfly he has trapped in a jar. So beautiful yet unable to stretch your wings fully. So he makes sure that you know you have a chance to leave when his family isn't looking.

Bubba Sawyer:

He LOVES it loves it.

He likes your attitude so much and if you dress all pretty like she does that's just icing on the cake. Poor Bubba is so head over heels for you, he'd fold if you looked at him the right way.

He would love it if you did his makeup for him if that was something that you do. He just loves your style and the products that you have. He even gets Drayton to go out and get you new stuff if you need any.

He likes how kind hearted you are too. He might cry a little if you're too nice to him, poor guy is so touch starved he doesn't know what to do with your gentle touches and words of affection.

He also lets you know that you have a chance to leave if you really want to.

OG Michael Myers:

He hates it at first. Truly it was more of a reason to kill you,, but he soon figures out that you're nice to everyone. Literally everyone.. and that intrigues him. Especially with how closed minded the people of his home town can be.

He keeps an eye on you for quite a while, and if you ever run into trouble with anyone, you soon find out the next day that they "disappeared".

When the two of you do end up "meeting" he is very insistant that you are now his, so to speak. He, unlike Bubba and Thomas, does not care if you feel like a butterfly trapped in a jar. Call him a butterfly collector in this instance, because he's confident that he will have you as his own.

He likes how nice you are, it's a nice change, but he also likes how gullible you are too. Easy for him to manipulate.

You really aren't going anywhere once he gets ahold of you.

RZ Michael Myers:

This michael is pretty much the same as OG michael. He's just more interested in you from the beginning and you notice him sooner.

He thinks that you can be his spouse in his shitty little family that he wants to reunite. So he wants you to meet his mother and sister, eventually. He wants his family together.

He thinks that his mom would like you, which is really why he takes a liking to you so quickly.

Vincent Sinclair:

The man is stopping in his tracks the moment he sees you in the museum with your friends. He thinks you're so facinating and neat, how pretty and bubbly you are. It warms his insides, truly. Especially if he witnesses or finds out that you were just as sweet and nice to his brothers as you are your friends.

He has to decide if he wants you in his museum or for himself. I mean, he wants to preserve your beauty afterall, but he decides on the latter, requesting to his brothers that they spare you. He wants to keep your kindness if you'll let him.

That isn't too hard of a decision either if you end up accidentally meeting him and you're kind to him, unlike your friends or past tourists. It gets him all flustered and he hardly knows what to do. He hasn't really ever had anyone be as nice as you are to him right now. It just sweetens the deal that Vincent wants you to himself.

Lester Sinclair:

He's kind of confused, honestly. I mean, you're so sweet, and hell-a attractive, but you're being sweet to him? A stinky guy who thinks he's the least attractive guy in Louisiana? Well shucks, he hardly knows what to do.

So he tells you a joke, and then another, and another, until you're a laughing mess and your friends are groaning and grumbling. He finds your laugh so mesmerizing, he could listen to it all day if he could. He'd be more than happy to make this ride last a lot longer than it is.

When you all get to the town, instead of leaving like normal, he stays and escorts you all to Bo. He claims it's in order to make sure you all stay safe. No telling what sort of critters could wander into town, or weird homeless people wandering the countryside. If you call him anything like your "knight in shining armor", bro is absolutely folding and blushing like a teenager. He doesn't know what to do with himself.

When you all find Bo, Bo takes notice that Lester is still there in town. He also takes notice of who his little brother is eyeing up the whole encounter and it brings a smirk to his face. Lester doesn't even have to ask and Bo knows that you're to be unharmed. Bo has a lot more sinister ideas that could be done for you, such as holding you hostage and using you to their advantage, but Lester is too mesmerized by your kindness to think that way. You've truly blinded the guy and all he wants is for you to stay and call him cute. He's like a dog at your feet, and you hardly know it.

Bo Sinclair:

Oh, he likes it, in more ways than one.

You're sweet demeanor has him buzzing with a feeling he hasn't felt in years. Your compliments and kindness only fuels his ego, and it has him wanting more. Plus, he finds you appealing. He just knows with the right words he could potentially make you his pillow prince(ss). He isn't complaining if you have a secret dominant side to you that you hide, though.

He likes how flirty you get, yet how innocent it all seems. You truly are like royalty in his shitty little wax town, and he wants you for his own.

He does end up keeping wooing you one way or another. He doesn't have his southern charm for nothing. If he wants something or someone, Bo will do everything in his power to get it. Whether you stay alive after or not is truly up to you. Will you stay with him and his brothers, or will you try and run?

Otis Driftwood:

A lot like Bo he likes the appeal to you. The fact that he just knows that he could have you on your back underneath him in no time is a challenge that he is willing to take. He wants you for his own, a trophy that he cn gloat about to anyone he pleases.

He also won't admit it, but he liked the way that you treat he and his family when you first arrive. God, the things he would do for someone who would act interested in his conspiracies and rants. He'd kill, goddammit.

So, Otis will be keeping you around and convince you into thinking that your friends left you behind for as long as he can keep it that way. He is making sure that you can't leave, too.

Baby Firefly:

Baby loves it a lot, actually. You're just so sweet and kind. She could just eat you up, really. She wants you to stay around for as long as you can, enough for her to convince you to stay at least. She could use someone else with a bubbly personality around the place.

She also really likes it if you do makeup. She wants you to do hers, and for you to check out her own makeup and would love if you could give her some feedback on it. She also wants to show you her show during the family talent show. She's definitely asking if you could join her on a duet sometime, too.

She convinces herself that you are staying, and if your friends show an interest in leaving, she will get rid of them before they can convince you to leave with them. She is keeping you around no matter what.

Brahms Heelshire:

You come to the mannor as his new nanny and he is intrigued from the moment that you walked through the door.

He loves everything about you, even if you decide not to wear vibrant colors one day around the mannor. You are still brightening the place up with your personality and he loves that. He also loves that you are so caring with the doll. It shows him how caring you are and in a way he envy's the doll. He wishes it were really him that you were reading to. His head in your lap while you play with his hair. It's something that he daydreams about a lot.

When he does finally show himself to you, he's happy if you accept him. Super happy, actually. Even if it does take you a while to fully get comfortable with him.

He loves how patient you are with him, especially if you're very motherly with him. He just loves it, and he loves you. He is super thankful that it was you that came to stay at the mannor.

He will find a way to keep you there with him, too. He's probably more successful than most the people on this list when it comes to the keeping you alive part. He has a 50/50 chance of charming you enough for you to stick around at least.

[peggingmegamind]

William Andrew Solace is okay. He has always prided himself on his ability to shake off the negative things in his life. His therapist, teachers, and mother all hailed him from a young age for being “resilient.” His mother used to call him her sunshine; during one of her particularly bad episodes, she took a sad little eight-year-old Will by the shoulders and said to him, “C’mon Sunshine! You’re the only one in this family who’s happy! We’re all relying on you, Don’t let your smile slip!” And since then, he was always sure to remain strong for his family. After Lee’s death, after Michael’s death, after losing countless patients during the Titan and Giant wars, he never slipped, never faltered. He was the strong eldest brother all his siblings needed. It didn’t matter to him that he was just going through the motions, living through profound numbness and fog, so long as he could keep his family at camp safe and stable. That was all that mattered. Taking care of people was all that mattered. 

Three days at the infirmary. Pretty typical, especially given everyone at camp is recovering from a war. Rather short, honestly, in comparison to some of his other patients. Will does what he’s always done. He stays steadfast and hardworking. Nico isn’t his only patient, not by a long shot, but somehow in the blur of IV fluids, ambrosia, and bandages, he manages to stand out. It might be his smart mouth and hatred of being cared for and under chthonic power arrest. More likely, it is Will's persistent crush on the guy since he arrived at the battle of Manhatten flanked by three gods. But who’s to say, honestly? 

It’s a moot point anyways. He’s got a clinic full of injured kids and a cabin full of siblings who need his guidance. He really does not need to add a pathetic, one-sided crush on a two-time war hero to his plate. It’s almost too much, but he can’t bend, can’t show himself struggling to juggle his responsibilities. He just needs to get through this month. It doesn’t matter that he’s been saying that since before the titan war. It’ll be true this time. He will heal everyone who needs to be healed, ensures his siblings are all okay and taken care of, and then everything will be fine. He will feel fine. 

Kayla keeps looking at him. It’s that weird combination of soft eyes and hushed “Dude, are you sure you’re okay? I can hold down the fort if you need a break.” But he doesn’t need a break. He especially doesn’t need to pawn this responsibility and duty onto his younger sister. He’s got this; he always has everything under control. 

Austin’s next. He’s more subtle. He brings Will food and eyes him with that same soft, careful gaze as Kayla. It’s infuriating. Austin takes up more boring jobs around the clinic, filling out discharge forms, cutting bandages, and making sure none of the Ares campers have a cow over being admitted to the clinic for what they call ‘minor injuries’ (It doesn’t matter how many times the Will says it, they insist broken ribs and concussions are injuries that can be fixed with an ice bath and some vics vapor rub). Will wants to protest having his little brother take over these tasks but honestly? He’s just grateful he doesn’t have to power through his forming carpal tunnel to get the records on par with his standards anymore. 

Really he should’ve anticipated Chiron having a talk with him. With everything going on, something had to give, and Kayla confided in Chiron that Will was working himself like a dog. 

The talk was awkward. Will had never been much for lying; quite frankly, he didn’t feel like he was lying. He felt fine. Or at least. A little under his base level of shittiness that he knew he could get out of. Probably. It was disconcerting to have a concerned adult staring at him, prompting him to share his feelings, unwilling to just let him loose and tie up the situation with a nice bow. 

“Sir, with all due respect, I am doing just fine. We’re just busy with all the injuries, and I’m trying to keep all my siblings in check.”

Chiron, compacted into his wheelchair, studied Will’s sleep-deprived face. His eyes were crinkled with knowing concern, and his lips pursed into a thin line.

“Will, your sister came to me concerned about you overworking yourself. Now I know you are tasked with many responsibilities, but I am still here to offer assistance when needed.”

“Yes, but-

“Please, I am not asking about the other campers right now,” Chiron held up a weathered hand, silencing the young healer. “I want to hear about how you are doing. You do not need to carry this burden alone.”

Usually, those words wouldn’t have impacted Will. Usually, offerings of support or help stuck about as well as water on a duck's back. But standing in the big house, exhausted, worn down, and disrespected by the very campers he was trying to take care of, he caved. He broke down. He told Chiron about how he felt he couldn't rely on anyone, how he felt like a ghost walking through life, and how he felt like an outsider just trying to keep everyone satiated and happy. He’s mortified, unloading all of these feelings on an activities director with whom he has a semi-friendly but not close relationship, but he just can’t seem to stem the tidal wave of emotions that spill from his lips. He tells him about what his mother said all those years ago. About how he must always be strong and happy for his family. To be the guiding light that leads them out of the darkness. It’s all so personal, and he feels naked and vulnerable, but he feels. Opening up feels like a gaping knife wound across his chest, but there is some modicum of relief because at least someone else knows. At least someone else was there to witness his pain. 

Chiron sits through all of it. He listens. And when Will finally ramps down from his word-vomit speech and says,

“Oh Gods, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to just unload all that onto you.”

Chiron scoffs good-naturedly and levels him a kind smile, and says,

“As I said before, you do not need to carry this burden alone. You have people here who care about you. I am always here to listen to you, Will. You need to learn to trust your siblings. They worry about you, and your refusal to talk with them about what troubling you hurts them worse than you know.”

They sit and talk a little longer. Chiron recommends some readings to help Will proceed from where he’s at. And then Chiron pats his hand and sends him on his way. 

And it’s not all better. Not by a long shot. He still feels numb and sad. He’s exhausted, and his eyes are swollen from crying, and his nose is raw from the kleenex they have a camp. Things are still as they were. But he feels a little lighter. Like maybe the world won’t end if he lets Kayla and Austin take over the infirmary this afternoon so he can nap and have a good meal. And maybe sometime after the hectic aftermath of the war has dispersed, they can talk about everything.

[crimsonmoonlite]

Loser. - Jacob Black X Mike Newton X Edward Cullen - 18+ MPreg - 1. When Option B is Someone Else's Option A

January 20th, 2006 10:49 PM Mike was still sick as Bella slipped out of the theater. She was going to grab a cab home... but only after she looked around for trouble to get Cullen's attention. He coughed up the rest of his dinner before he took a sip of his soda. He flinched when the loud boom of Jake storming out of the theater sounded.

"Hey-Hey, let go of me," Mike yelped as Jake grabbed his wrist. The human grabbed Jake's inhumanly large hands, trying to pry them off. "Where is Bella?"

"She ditched us," Jake growled, and Mike wouldn't have believed him if he didn't see Bella in the back of a cab. "She would kill me if I didn't ensure you got home safely." He muttered as Mike continued to fight him. He turned around and growled at him, losing his cool since he was hours away from shifting for the first time. Mike recoiled slightly back, startled. He muttered and walked ahead of Jacob. He stormed out to the vintage car Jacob tried to impress Bella with, "Don't slam the door," Jacob snapped before Mike shut it.

This would be an awkward hour's drive, especially since the car didn't have a radio or couldn't go over 45 without exploding. There was a draft from the outside, and Mike hadn't worn a jacket, so he was shivering.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Jake muttered, smelling that he was still afraid of him.

"I am cold, Jerk," Mike muttered, and Jake rolled his eyes, reaching under the seat and tossing one of his old jackets at him.

"It's old and doesn't fit me anymore... Embry's little brother likes me to drive him around, and he gets cold easily," Jacob muttered, making sure Mike knew he wasn't being nice. He just wanted Mike's teeth to stop chattering. Mike knit his eyebrows together as he put on the jacket. The inside was a wolf pelt... actually, it was made out of Jacob's Great Grandfather's nemesis. Mike was immediately warm. He also liked the smell of it. It made him feel safe. "Stop. Looking. At. Me..." Jacob gritted his teeth before Mike quickly looked away.

"Fine... I will never look at you again as long as I breathe," Mike muttered, crossing his arms at his chest.

"You sound like a child..."

"You're the one that is being a child,"

"No... You are the one that is being a child," Jake muttered as they rode back to Forks continuing to bicker. Jacob notices something smelling amazing... 'Must be Newton's cologne,' He thought, not knowing that cologne made Mike sneeze. Jake stopped before the Newton House, spinning off as soon as Mike shut the door, not noticing that Mike still had the jacket on.

------- January 21, 2006 7:56 AM

"Bella, he is your friend. Why don't you take it back?" Mike huffed, still angry at him for abandoning him with a meathead.

"Because I am busy,"

"With what? Moping around for Creeper Cullen?" Mike snapped.

"Whatever, I will text you directions, have a good day, Michael."

"Well, I hope you have a shitty day, Isabella," he snapped.

Mike was a bit testy today. He got some rest as he had slept in the jacket, though he had growing pain all night. Unfortunately, it wasn't his height. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He had tummy cramps, and his chest felt like needles were poking his nipples. When he looked in the mirror, he noticed he looked softer. All the work he put in on toning his muscles was gone overnight. He also couldn't fit in his jeans because his hips got wider and his ass got a little fatter.

He blushed as he looked at his pecs. He felt under dressed, so he quickly got into the shower and dressed. Both parties were unaware of each other. Mike didn't know that he was adapting to Jake's perfect image of a body.

While Mike was asleep, Jake shifted into his wolf for the first time. He was larger than his friends and pitch black. With his coloring, he would be best at night, as he blended in with the darkness. He was excited when he returned home and did the hair-cutting ritual with Sam, but he was growing more aggressive as the full moon was a couple of nights away.

As Jacob tried to sleep when he laid down a few minutes ago, all he could do was whimper and pine. He could smell the faint scent of what he remembered in the car, Mike's cologne. He shut his eyes tight as they slowly grew stronger, imagining Bella was in his room and pulling his body pillow as if he were spooning her.

"Dad, get the door!" He groaned as he heard a car door slam, forgetting that his father was up in Seattle visiting an old friend who was dying. He blew his nose and walked to the door just as Mike was about to knock on it. As he opened the door, Mike's scent wafted in.

"Hi... I forgot to give you back your jacket," Mike said, widening his eyes as he caught Jacob's musk. "I um... did you get taller?" He asked as the other guy looked stiff, like he had seen a ghost

"Did you get shorter?" Jake asked, and Mike scoffed, shoving the jacket at Jacob's chest. Making the mistake of turning his back to the wolf to go back to the truck, Jake growled and grabbed at the collar of Mike's shirt, pulling him inside and slamming the door so he could pin him against it.

"J-Jacob," Mike said, a bit startled. He wriggled as he was uncomfortable being pinned up against a door. Jacob was over a foot taller than Mike, he kicked his feet, trying to run away, but his feet were ten inches away from the floor. Mike's eyes were big as his face was pressed against the mirror hooked on the door. He kept eye contact with Jacob as he could not control himself... he half-shifted, growing more in height and muscle, hair dispersing along his face and arms. "Put me down... Y-Your hurting me," he squeaked. Jake took a step back slightly but not letting go of his death grip on Mike.

"I... can't control myself. You smell so good,"

"What are you," Mike asked curiously, not afraid of what Jacob was turning into but more afraid of his strength.

"Jacob, let go of the Omega," Sam growled in his mind, and Jake furiously growled at him. Mike whimpered, shutting his eyes, and a tear dripped down to the floor. "You are terrifying him. Let him go..."

"He wants me to claim him," Jacob said as he ran two fingers against Mike's entrance through the thin fabric of his shorts. Jacob could feel the heat radiating from his pulsing hole, but then a whimper caught his attention. He looked at Mike trembling and looking at him, terrified as he was almost a quarter shifted. Jacob closed his eyes and tried to calm down, shifting back into a human slowly. "Run to your truck and drive back to your house... don't look back at me, okay?" Jacob asked as he opened the door. "Do you understand?" Jacob asked.

"Y-Yes, Alpha," Mike said, unaware of what he had just said or done to the Beta. It took everything inside of him not to pin Mike to the floor and mount him.

"Go... now," Jacob growled, letting Mike to the ground. He took off as fast as he could, jumping into his truck. He flinched as he heard monstrously terrifying howls and snarls. He wiped his eyes as he spun away.

"What have you done," Sam snarled at the Beta before they started to fight for dominance for the title of Alpha. Which Jacob would sorely lose... he had just earned his powers. Please Vote, Comment, Add to your lists, and share this story with a friend:).

AO3

Wattpad

[morwap]

2:49 am

michael afton x fem!reader

sfw dont really know what category to put this in

nav / m.a m.list /

swearing, readers in a band, michael afton with a nose piercing, oc named ben (your cousin), b/n =brothers name

───────✧ 𓆩♡𓆪 ✧───────

‘It's always tease, tease, tease You're happy when I'm on my knees One day it's fine and next it's black So if you want me off your back Well, come on and let me know Should I stay or should I go?���

you groaned sitting up in your bed, the music was muffled but definitely loud, you knew exactly where it was coming from. the aftons.

rubbing your eyes as your feet hit the floor, glancing at the clock 2:49 am. yawning as you pulled the tangled blanket from you, looking out your window— which was directly across from michaels. you fumbled with the lock on your window then pushing it up, sighing as the warm breeze hit you.

looking around for something to throw, but not able to break his window. you walked over to your desk clicking on your lamp before moving around your things trying to find something. glancing over at your bookshelf spotting the tiny sea shells in a jar from the beach you went to a couple years ago, you walked over to it, opening it and taking a handful out then went back to the window.

carefully throwing them, not too hard and not too soft hoping that he’d hear them. “afton!“ you shouted hoping not to wake anyone in your house up.

your plan worked, thankfully. hearing the music turn down then michael was in view, pushing up his window. michaels hair was messy, and the bandaid on his cheek stood out.

“y/l/n!” micheal shouted back.

“if you’re gonna play music so loud that the whole neighborhood feels like an earthquake is happening, have it be good— like madonna or something” you laughed leaning out of your window.

Michael rolled his eyes playfully, “or you could play my own music” you added with a smirk, “you wish! my dads shitty diner has better music than your shitty ass band” michael bit back with a breathy laugh.

you gasped faking being offended, “wow and to think i was gonna give you a free signed cd” you said shaking your head, crossing your arms dramatically.

“yeah also the whole ‘call me’ cover at the mall was awful” michael teased running his hands through his hair. “your sister seemed to like it” you said cocking your head and raised your brows. you remembered when his sister pushed threw a medium sized crowd trying to find where the music was coming from, then came a grumpy micheal chasing after her with evan trailing not far behind him. you could hear her faint little “y/n! it’s me Elizabeth!” causing you to wave at her with a smile.

micheals laugh brought you out of your thought. “only because liz cant differentiate good music from bad music” he said crawling out of his window and onto his roof. “mhm sure” you teased.

you watched him play with shingles on his roof. “heard you got your nose pierced” you said changing the subject, watching him smirk.

“yeah, like last week” micheal shrugged and looked at you, “ben did it” he added causing you to bust out laughing.

“ben really? i’m surprised its not fucked up since he did it” you laughed out, micheals smile growing bigger — remembering the time ben tried to do his own piercing and failing terribly.

“how’d your dad take it?” you asked looking out into the woods behind yours and his house. michael sighed, deeply, “just a simple eye roll and telling me not to get anything else done, mom was the worst though— whole lecture and shit” he said shaking his head, smug smirk on his face.

“fuck afton- i’d give you a lecture too, knowing ben did it” you shuddered trying not of getting your nose or eyebrow pierced by your cousin even though he had offered many times before. you don’t even trust him with a fork let alone let him do that. “s’not that bad” micheal said before looking over at the other houses.

michael slipped his hands into his pockets, shaking his head to mess with his hair and sniffled.

“you going to evans birthday party next week?” he asked, him now the one to change the subject. you furrowed your brows and looked at him “i don’t know. why? is this an invitation?” you asked with a smile.

“shut up” he laughed, “but i know evans planning on asking b/n to come. thought i’d see if you would go also” he added almost sounding nervous. “i might make a guest appearance” you joked then a light bulb went off.

“actually mike-“ you started but was cut off, “told you to stop calling me mike” he said with a huff. you rolled your eyes.

“anyways micheal i’ll make you a deal. i’ll go to evans party if you go to (random diner name) thursday. the lady that owns it asked us to play there for her and her wife’s anniversary” you said with a smile, hoping he’d agree.

michaels eyes closed as he laughed, “now why would i go and watch a shitty band play when i have one i can go to anytime i want and also not have to pay for anything” he said, still occasionally laughing.

“thought you’d might like a change in scenery, and i’ll pay for your food if you go” you said crossing your arms. you watched him think, taking in his features as he seemed to be debating on taking the offer.

micheal nodded, “alright we have a deal y/n” he said and smiled wide. “i’d have you shake on it but ya know” you said gesturing to the distance between you both. micheal nodded again, getting up and slipping into his room through his window.

you looked over at your clock, 4:32 am then looked back at him. you watched him turn off his lamp, now he was light with only the moonlight.

“goodnight y/n” micheal yawned and was about to pull his window down but waited a minute for you say it back.

“goodnight mike” you said then heard him huff “shut up” before hearing his window shut, you clicked off your lamp then shut your window. looking back at his window you could see the lamp come on for a second. michael stood there, flipping you off with a smirk before the light went out again.

[condorclaw]

Tommy frowned, staring.

Michael stared back.

Tubbo and Ranboo could only watch this scene unfold, somewhat expecting that this would happen between their friend and their son. What they didn't expect was how quiet Tommy was.

It was silent in the room for a minute or two more, before Tommy reached out a hand and softly booped the top of Michael's nose. The zombie piglin let out a honk of approval, making Tommy's eyebrows raise in amusement. With the piglin happy, the boy turned to face Michael's parents.

"I don't think this is a dog, fellas."

Tubbo and Ranboo both released large sighs of relief that they didn't even know they were holding in, Tommy slightly tilting his head in confusion.

"Well, we said he wasn't a dog, Tommy. We said he was our son."

"Some people call their dogs their kids, so I could only guess."

As the best friends talked, Ranboo gazed over at Michael with affection, feeling a grin spread across his face. What Ranboo didn't expect, however, was how closely Michael seemed to be watching Tommy.

Surprising Ranboo again, the piglin stood up on wobbly legs, trotting over to where Tommy was leaning on a piece of furniture. Snorting, he clutched on to one of Tommy's legs, leading Tommy to jolt from the sudden contact a little, before instinctively trying to lean away from Michael. Recognizing that Tommy was having a bit of a rough time at the moment, Tubbo leaned down and carefully removed Michael's arms from Tommy's leg, mumbling soft words of comfort and encouragement to both Tommy and Michael.

After Michael was removed, Tommy had to take a moment to catch his breath and clear his thoughts, his eyes shutting for a moment as he muttered unintelligible words to himself. Tubbo and Ranboo waited for him to recover, Michael watching with curiosity.

"A'ight, I'm okay now," Tommy inhaled deeply, letting out an equally deep exhale before opening his eyes again.

"I'm really sorry about that-" Ranboo began to apologize before getting cut off by Tommy.

"Nah, don't apologize, big man. Michael's a fetus, he doesn't know about complicated adult things like trauma."

Tubbo let out a snort of laughter, which Michael tried to copy the sound of.

"He's not normally physically affectionate like this on first meetings," Ranboo spoke, though mostly to himself more than anyone else.

Michael let out a squeal of frustration, alerting the trio to the piglin trying to wiggle out of Tubbo's arms. Tubbo and Ranboo's ears stood up in surprise at the sudden noise, the two looking down at their son worriedly. Tommy had looked startled when Michael began his outburst, but now looked much calmer as he leaned down a little to come face-to-face with Michael.

Tubbo and Ranboo's surprise grew even bigger as Tommy began to make squealing and oinking noises himself, causing Michael's fit to stop. The piglin's eyes were wide with excitement as Tommy spoke, his stubby arms starting to wave in excitement as he continued his excited honking, which Tommy responded to as well.

"What the fuck," Tubbo whispered in shock, his eyes wide, and Ranboo had to agree with him there.

Tommy proceeded to sit down on the floor, glancing up at Tubbo with a lopsided smile. "You can put 'em down, Big T. It's alright."

Following Tommy's instructions, Tubbo set his son down, who immediately sprinted towards the blonde at high speeds. He halted in his tracks when Tommy barked out another noise, one that Ranboo and Tubbo didn't understand, that brought Michael to a slower pace. It sounded somewhat familiar to Ranboo, but he didn't know why.

Michael ended up standing in front of a seated Tommy, the taller boy laughing as he reached out his hand slowly. The piglin stepped forward slowly, moving to grip one of Tommy's fingers gently, which allowed Tommy to carefully wrap his hands around Michael, lifting him up to eye level. Tommy let out a small noise again, causing Michael to oink in delight.

Smirking with satisfaction, Tommy looked back over at the stunned parents, sticking out his tongue a little. "Surprise, motherfuckers."

"HOW DID-" Tubbo began to belt out, quickly stopped by Ranboo by the taller boy pressing down on Tubbo's head gently. With this sign from Ranboo, Tubbo cleared his throat, continuing to speak.

"Tommy, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: how the fuck did you do that?"

"Wot? You jealous that I can speak piglin?"

Ranboo was learning so much today that he didn't expect in any way whatsoever.

"One," the enderman spoke, trying to keep his voice at a calm level while his husband stood slack-jawed. "Yes, I am. Two: how do you know piglin?"

The shit-eating grin on Tommy's face grew wider upon seeing how he stunned his friends, causing him to look back at Michael and speak in piglin once more, making the kid chirp out happily.

"Tomathy Danger Careful Kraken Innit Minecraft, you tell me what you just said to him right now," Tubbo folded his arms, trying to hide the previous shock on his face with little-to-no success. Ranboo, meanwhile, now had to process the fact that he had never known Tommy's full name.

"I just told him that I was cooler than the both of you," Tommy barked out a laugh, Michael giggling along with him as Tommy set him back down on the ground.

"Anyway," the blonde continued, watching as Michael began to walk in circles around him. "I learned piglin from Techno. He suggested we use it for commands in battle so nobody else would understand what we were saying."

It suddenly made sense what Tommy had said to Michael that sounded familiar. Ranboo had heard Technoblade use that exact sound when they were exploring in the nether, and had come face-to-face with a piglin squadron. "Wait, were you telling Michael to approach safely?"

"Hell yeah, Ranboob" Tommy gave a thumbs-up, Michael trying to copy the gesture with his own hooves. "When I was still living with him as well, I'd go to the Nether when we had nothing else to do. Yeah, the Nether is a horrible shitty place and I want nothing to do with it, but it was the only way I could make friends while I was still in exile."

"WAIT," Tubbo's eyes widened even more, his face looking like it might split open from surprise. "You spoke with piglins in the Nether!?"

Tommy's reply was shooting finger-guns towards his best friend with a grin, with Michael trying to copy them once more.

"As fascinating as this conversation is, and trust me, I'm absolutely going to ask you to death about this," Ranboo pointed at Tommy in a jokingly accusatory manner. "Tubbo, I think we just lost our son."

Tubbo looked towards Michael, the little one trying intensely to copy Tommy's movements. "God damn it Tommy, you stole our son."

"Hey, I'm not stealing him," Tommy protested with laughter, reaching over to gently pet Michael's head, Ranboo noticing how his touch lingered on the thin layer of hair, stroking it softly. Ranboo noted to himself that piglin hair seemed like a comfort texture to Tommy. He’d tell Tubbo about it later, but for now he’d play along with the bit of his friend stealing his son. “Oh really? Then why’s our son copying you?”

“Because I’m the coolest uncle.”

Silence stretched throughout the room once more, with both Tubbo and Ranboo’s eyes wide. The small on Tommy’s face slowly changed into a worried one, and he looked away from the couple and at the ground. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know if-”

“Watch how hard I can cry,” Tubbo mumbled, his eyes looking bright with joy before he went to Tommy’s side, kneeling down to give him a genuine smile. “Tommy, dude, I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Even better than Ranboo proposing to me.”

“Um, rude,” Ranboo giggled, kneeling at Tommy’s other side and allowing Michael to climb up on his lap. “But yeah, I know what Tubbo’s getting at. We weren’t sure if you would even want to be Michael’s uncle-”

“Wot?” Tommy sounded genuinely surprised at that, his own eyes wide. “Why wouldn’t I want to be? He’s my best friend-brother’s son!”

“I mean, yeah, but after what happened with Techno, we weren’t sure if piglins would...”

Tommy fell quiet, his eyes shifting to gaze at the ground as uncertainty crossed his face. After a stretch of silence, only filled with Michael’s occasional chirring, Tommy gazed back at the two parents. “As complicated as my relationship with Techno might be, that shouldn’t impact this little guy,” Tommy bore his fangs in a grin, making Michael clap with his little hands. “Besides, I can understand him while you two can’t. Who else is gonna teach you two piglin without fuss?”

“Are you holding our child’s language for ransom?” Tubbo was about to playfully punch Tommy in the arm, but appeared to suddenly remember the situation and placed his hand back down.

“Noooo, but now you two need me.”

Ranboo rolled his eyes, making Tommy pretend-pout at him. Tommy folded his arms, faking disappointment. “You’re so mean to me, Ranboo. I take back my marriage blessing.”

“My husband! No!”

“We can elope, Ranboo. Tommy can’t stop us.”

“I’m holding your whole son for ransom then.”

“Actually, I don’t need my husband anymore.”

“Tubbo! How could you do this to me?

And Michael squealed with delight as the three continued on into the night.

[our-gentle-tide]

I know academic hell very well, would an obey me ask with some early game relationship mammon & mc interest you? Thanks if you are interested, they/them pronouns please!

Earlier I thought it would be sweet if mammon beel or Levi has to help mc get over Lucifer’s scary act! Plus how is mc supposed to go on adventures if they’re too busy sweating over pesky things like consequences on the assumption (read: inevitability) Lucifer will ever have to know? I was just thinking that we don’t really canonically see how the mc struggles to adjust, but I imagine suddenly having somebody telling you when you have to be up for breakfast and when you have to be home for dinner and how your location has to be known and how your grades and appearance have to be top knotch and how you need to be escorted around might be a tad bit frustrating. That’s not adding on how intimidating and harsh Lucifer can seem.

Dw about it if you aren’t interested, good luck with finals!

Consciousness (along with a few of my personal hc's on mc's experience)

Wearing: mentions of mental health issues and spoilers

A/n:Dear I am SO interested in this!! You have no idea how much i dislike that the brothers and other exchange students along with the royals (maybe -Barb and Solomon tho) don't see how the mc is stressed out and struggling with the whole ordeal and I may have misunderstood this request but I hope this is what you meant. Also I'm so sorry for the wait love, I hope you enjoy

Reader:Gn!reader

So let's start from the beginning, mc was practically okay with being kidnapped, to another world they didn't know existed, forced to not only stay an entire year in an unknown world to them but also stay with 7 ancient year old beings that act like a toddler having a tantrum if they don't get their toy

Now despite Lucifer being the "mature" one he sure as doesn't know how to deal with things if said person doesn't wanna listen, then realise on threatening, traumatising and scearing the living day lights outta siad person

Going back to the first point, I also believe mc listening and not going against anyone in the beginning was a self defence mechanism or sorta like fight or flight mode except they can't run and they can't fight so they go along with it to keep themselves safe

Putting that aside, I hate that the mc was basically a lab rat for diavolo to see if the brothers can handle having a human live with them

He basically sat on the side, knowing bad things will happen (to the credit of barb) and only interfered when mc's life or physical body was being threatened or in the act of being hurt

As much as I love barb and how dedicated he is to his job and dia, he's a little lot too dedicated, there had to be a limit he can put out, right? Dia would listen to his suggestion I know that, so why KNOW that the human will be killed/threatened instead of stopping it completely?

I don't have much of an opinion on Luke at the beginning other then having a strong feeling he was manipulated to join by Michael

Simeon probably jumped at the opportunity since he wants to make amends with the brothers

Now Solomon, despite half the fandom saying he's shady and only interacts with mc to entertain himself at the start, I disagree, I think he's been helping mc behind the scenes, and tries to seem more open and friendly for mc since they're the only other human there and he understands them more then the others

Mammon is the best out of the brothers, I have to say that but when he talked down on mc when they first met is just a shitty thing tbh,I hc mc only stuck around in the beginning cos he's the safest out of the rest since he's forced to be our guardian

Now has anyone noticed the brothers start to like mc's company and just them as a person WAYY faster then mc themselves?

I believe it's cos of the different perspectives for them and the mc

For example, while they viewed everything happening as part of diavolo's plan to unite the three worlds, mc viewed it as being forced to be around dangerous beings who could snap them like a twig for a year

They started falling for mc's kindness but I think that was just mc playing things safe

You get where I'm going?

On to something else, I only played the game to, if I'm remembering correctly, lesson 18. And throughout all 18 lessons mc has never cried or broke down IN FRONT of anyone in the devildom

I think they keep any negative thoughts or emotions private in fear of doing something wrong cos it'll get Lucifer on their back more then he already is

Lucifer throughout the game has proven to not only mc and the brothers that he can't handle having a human around but also to diavolo, over and over again

He literally bruised/broke our hand during a waltz and mc had to keep in the pain due to them being in public

When the mc starts trusting them slight is after they have all 7 pacts cos just incase they try anything they can order them to stop

Lucifer and belghie will be the last of not just the brothers but all the characters to see mc genuinely relaxed and comfortable around everyone

Ofc I have more but this is too long so maybe there'll be a part two if anyone's interested :)

[book-place]

Saturday Mornings and Absent Dads

So this series is actually based on one that I read a long time ago. The credits for the overall idea goes to the original author, but I have done what I could to make everything else original by me

Series Masterlist

Warnings: cursing, shitty parents, child abandonment, let me know if I missed any :)

Parings: Au!Human!Archangels x OC sister (Astrid)

*not my gif*

Summary: It was a normal morning before someone from the Novak’s past tried to walk back into their lives

A/N: This is one of my favorite writing. Idk why, I’m just obsessed with the whole idea of this chapter

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

“Gabriel! I swear, I will kill you!” Balthazar shrieked as he chased his cackling older brother down the stairs, taking two at a time in a way that would make Micheal have a heart attack.

Micheal didn’t even look up to see this though, as he yelled from his spot at the table, “Don’t kill your brother, Balth.” He continued reading the newspaper, flipping the page as if nothing happened.

Astrid came into the kitchen and scoffed at the sight of Michael before starting to make herself cereal for breakfast.

The eldest Novak looked up and narrowed his eyes a little bit, “Anything you care to say, Attie?” He asked in a challenging tone.

“Nothing, nothing.” She said, then quietly added on, “You just look like an old man who’s reading his morning newspaper before taking his daily walk around the retirement home.”

Unfortunately for her, Micheal seemed to have supersonic hearing, “I heard that, young lady!” He snapped.

She looked up with wide eyes and quickly picked up her bowl of cereal before sprinting out of the room, “You can’t kill me if you can’t catch me!”

Mike let out a sigh and rubbed his temples, this was going to be a long Saturday morning.

Cass had been innocently trying to walk into the kitchen for breakfast when he practically got trampled over by his younger sister, “Every Novak for themselves!” Is what she had yelled before continuing to sprint upstairs. He had just stood up and tilted his head slightly before continuing to the kitchen in confusion.

Micheal looked up from his newspaper again at the sound of footsteps, “Morning, Cass.”

“Good morning, Micheal.” The younger brother greeted back, reaching for the box cereal Astrid had forgotten to put away.

That’s when two figures came barreling into the room, “Get back here!” Balthazar yelled at Gabriel, still clearly mad for whatever had happened moments before.

Gabe’s eyes landed on Micheal and he smirked before sprinting at full speed to get behind his oldest brother's chair.

Once he was successfully behind his target, Gabriel smirked at his younger brother and stuck his tongue out, knowing full well that Balthazar wouldn’t chance annoying Micheal in the morning.

“Stop using me as a shield, Gabe.” Micheal muttered, his headache already beginning.

Said person pouted in return before seeing Balthazar busy talking to Castiel and quickly ran out of the kitchen and into the living room while he was distracted. Balthazar cursed at seeing this and took off after him.

“Watch your language!” Micheal weakley called after him.

Cass sent Micheal a small smile, “I’ll go make sure they don’t break anything… or kill each other.” He offered before leaving after his two older brothers.

Micheal let out what seemed to be the hundredth sigh this morning, before hearing some footsteps yet again.

“And why am I doing this?” The familiar voice of Lucifer rang out in the room before Micheal even saw him.

“Because if you’re here,” Astrid’s voice commented back, “Then Micheal can’t kill me.”

“And why’s that?” She gets asked.

“Because you won’t let him.” The youngest Novak replied in a ‘duh’ tone.

The two finally walked in the kitchen, with Astrid behind Lucifer as a barrier between her and her oldest brother.

“Morning, Mikey.” Lucifer greeted, striding right over to the kitchen table Micheal was still sitting at.

He took the cup of coffee that Micheal was clearly reaching for, and chugged the entire thing in two loud gulps.

Michaels temper was starting to get the best of him, but he was able to keep it under control with the thought that pretty soon he would have to leave for work, and he wouldn’t have to deal with his siblings for some time.

“Lucifer.” Micheal greeted back gruffly.

“Aww, why the long face, Mike Mike?” Lucifer teased, going to pour himself some more coffee.

He just ignored Lucifer and turned to Astrid, who was on the very opposite side of the room, “Old man?” He questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

“It’s what you looked like!” She defended.

Just as Micheal opened his mouth to rebuttal, a loud crash came from the direction of the living room.

The three siblings in the kitchen immediately rushed to see what happened and were met with the sight of Balthazar and Gabriel wrestling on the ground as Castiel tried to get them to stop while picking up a fallen vase.

“Hey!” Micheal bellowed, immediately halting the two wrestling brothers. “What are you two doing?”

Right away, the two started yelling at and blaming each other.

“He did-“

“His fault-“

“Ran down-“

“The prank-“

“Not me-“

“Tried to-“

“Not my fault-“

“ENOUGH!” Micheal’s voice boomed over the others.

Everyone immediately stopped whatever they were doing and looked up at their fuming older brother, even the ones who weren’t being yelled at by him were scared.

All further yelling, arguing, or whatever was happening, was stopped when there was a knock on the door. Everyone froze and no one made a move to open it. Nobody had been expecting anyone, they all had work in a couple of hours.

Micheal was the first one to move, striding through the living room and to the front door as another knock ran through the house. The remaining siblings shared a glance and quickly followed behind their brother out of pure curiosity.

Astrid could hear the sound of the door opening, but due to being in the back and her brothers being taller than her, she couldn’t see who was at the door. But she could see all of her brothers stiffen, confusing the girl.

“Hi, kids.” A man's voice said. Astrid pushed her way through Balthazar and Cass’s shoulders to see who it was.

Balthazar tried to catch her arm and stop her, but the fourteen year old didn’t even notice as she also froze when she saw who it was.

Their father.

His eyes were scanning through the faces of his children until his gaze dropped to land on Astrid, “Asta-“ He reached out as if to hug her.

Micheal quickly, but gently, pulled her back and behind him though, not wanting their father anywhere near any of his siblings.

“What are you doing here, Chuck?” Micheal asked in a cold and deadly tone, his face blank and emotionless.

Said man flinched slightly at being called by his first name, as if slapped in the face, “Listen, Mike I-“

“Michael.” The oldest Novak sibling corrected harshly, only his siblings could call him by any nickname whatsoever.

Chuck Novak sighed, “Micheal,” he corrected, “Can I come in-“

He didn't even finish when Michael cut him off, “No.”

Gabriel and Balthazar shared a glance before looking down at their sister who was still frozen, pushed behind Micheal with wide eyes.

The father cleared his throat awkwardly and nodded, “You know, this technically still is my house-“

“Have you been the one paying the bills?” Lucifer cut in roughly.

“Well no-“

“Exactly, no you have not. So therefore, this is not your house anymore.” Lucifer’s glare was enough to put the man in front of them six feet deep.

Astrid seemed to finally snap out of her daze and she felt like a little kid again as she softly called out, “Dad?”

When Astrid was younger, she would ask Micheal when their dad was coming back. Because she was so young, he lied to her and told her that he was coming back soon. She believed him so much that sometimes in the middle of the night, some of her brothers caught her standing by the door and waiting for him to walk right back in. At that point, all of her brothers had stopped hoping and believing that their sorry excuse of a father was coming back.

As she got older though, she realized that her dad wasn’t in fact coming back. And it was hard, but she ended up coming to terms with that fact.

But now he was standing right before her, and she didn’t know what to think. Or feel. Or do for that matter. She had gone so much of her life without him that she was used to it. So much of her life had gone by without him and it was just her and her brothers.

“Hi, sweetie.” He greeted softly, holding out his arms yet again for a hug.

Before Astrid could even comprehend what was happening, Chuck’s arms were slapped down by none other than Castiel Novak.

The man blinked at his youngest son in surprise, “Don’t touch her.” Castiel growled in a threatening tone.

Even his siblings were slightly surprised, it was hard to make Castiel angry. Let alone get to the point of glaring as hard as he was and slapping a man's arms.

Chuck’s face hardened, “She’s my daughter-“

“No she’s not.” Gabriel finally spoke up, giving him a look that could rival his brothers.

The older man continued as if nothing happened, “-and you are my sons. So therefore I demand some respect.”

“You are no father of ours, and you gave up the right to have respect from us the moment you stepped out that door.” Micheal seethed in a tone so deadly, Astrid was shivering a little in fear.

Chuck angled his glare to Micheal, “I think your siblings should decide that for themselves. They can make their own decisions, you can not decide for them.” His look turned into one of pleading as he looked over the faces of his other children.

Each of them looked away though. Some looked at the ceiling, others at the floor. Anything to avoid his gaze. Not Astrid though. She looked right at him, and when he looked back, she didn’t break eye contact. She knew that she should have, he was never around. Her brothers didn’t trust him, but she couldn’t look away. Or she wouldn’t. She didn’t know.

“Astrid.” His voice was pleading- no- begging.

“Maybe…” her voice came out quietly, “maybe we should just hear him out…”

Her brothers all looked at her like she grew two heads, but she wasn’t paying attention to them and neither was their father. “Thank you, sweetie.”

“Don’t call her that.” Micheal hissed through gritted teeth. Astrid may have chosen to take pity and hear him out, but he would be damn sure that he didn’t. And he was sure that his brothers weren’t planning to either. He begrudgingly stepped aside to let Chuck in, his brothers following suit.

Chuck stepped in and let out a low whistle, “This place has changed.” There were new pictures on the walls of the siblings and the walls were more dented, and it was probably a lot messier then Chuck remembered.

Astrid looked around to see all of her brothers were still tense, but her attention was dragged away from them and to her father. He was looking at a picture on the wall with all of his children in it. Balthazar and Gabriel seemed to be yelling at each other, while Micheal seemed to be groaning and rubbing his temples. Astrid was on Lucifer’s back, both of them sticking their tongues out at the camera. And Cass, god bless his soul, was just smiling pleasantly at the camera as if nothing was happening.

Chuck let out a small, airy laugh before turning and walking into the living room. Astrid followed right behind and all of the brothers shared a glance before following as well.

The vase that had been knocked down earlier was still on the floor, and pillows were scattered about the room due to the pillow fight Castiel and Astrid had been having the night before. The old, worn out tv had a crack down the center of it from when Gabriel bet that Lucifer couldn’t throw the remote from the top of the stairs into the living room.

Chuck sat down on the old gray couch, Astrid sitting on the opposite end, and the boys all standing up. Lucifer had his arms crossed and was leaning against the back wall, while Balthazar and Gabriel stood near the door, seeming to create a wall in front of the door. Micheal stood right in front of the couch with Cass standing awkwardly behind him.

“You wanted to talk, so talk.” Balthazar snapped impatiently, Gabriel nodding along with him.

Chuck sighed, “Listen, kids. I know that I haven’t exactly been around much-“

“Much?” Lucifer scoffed.

“-but I’m still your father and I want to be involved with your lives more.” As he finished, a silence hung thickly in the living room air.

Reality came crashing down on Astrid quickly. Her father, who had never been there for her, wanted to be now. He was looking for their permission back into their lives. She wanted to say yes, she so badly did, but what cost would it come at? Would he leave again? Why now? Why not earlier? When she actually had needed him?

He took a deep breath and continued, “I know that you are now their legal guardian, Mike- Micheal.” He caught himself, “But I think that it’s only fair, as their father, that I am back in their lives. Yours as well.”

“No.” Micheal didn’t even hesitate.

“And that’s not your decision!” Chuck spat out angrily, having what seemed to be the same conversation that went on only moments before.

“The hell it’s not-“ Micheal’s arms became uncrossed and his fists clenched, his knuckles began turning white.

“You’re not their father! I am!” Chuck yelled, standing up.

An even heavier silence then the last fell over their house. Micheal looked like he had gotten punched in the gut.

“I know that.” His voice came out soft, almost pained. His siblings started becoming worried, their older brother was never like this. He was always direct, confident, and knew what he wanted. He was never like this, and it was starting to scare them.

“Do you Micheal? Do you really? Because you’re acting like you’re their father! News flash! You’re not!” Chuck was screaming now.

A pained look crossed Micheal’s face and something seemed to snap inside Astrid, “Out.” She stood up and pointed to the door.

Chuck turned to his daughter in surprise, “What-“

“I said, out. Now.” She glared at him for the first time since they opened the door for him this morning. “Mike may not be our father, but he raised us better than you ever did. It’s because of him that we are still here. All together. We almost weren’t, though. We were almost separated because you left. So Michael made a decision, he grew up much faster than anyone should ever have had to and he carried the burden of caring for us. So if anyone is our father, it’s him. Most definitely not you.” She finished her speech angrier than her brothers had ever seen her.

Angrier than when Gabriel put neon green hair dye in her shampoo. Angrier than when Micheal wouldn’t let her go to her friend's house because she had homework, or when Lucifer blamed her for breaking Cass’s favorite coffee mug. “Get out of our house Chuck.”

Everyone was speechless, Gabriel was the first to snap out of it, “You heard her, out. Now.”

When Chuck didn’t move, Lucifer angrily marched over and took Chuck by the back of the collar and started dragging him out, who didn’t even struggle because of the fact that he was still too stunned to do anything.

With one final huff, Lucifer literally threw Chuck out of the house and slammed the door, making the walls shake.

Everyone stood in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to do or what to say, until Micheal finally spoke up. “Is that-“ his voice broke off, “Is that really what you think?” He looked at Astrid with tears in his eyes.

“It’s what we all think.” Came her reply before she threw herself into his arms.

Much to Micheals surprise, every one of his siblings, in their own special way, agreed with Astrid before coming and joining the hug.

“Thank you.” Micheal’s voice gasped out between tears.

“No,” Astrid said confidently, “Thank you.”

They didn’t need Chuck back in their lives, they already had the best father that they could ever ask for.

[laketaj24]

Serotonin II

Author’s Note: Here it is! I am taking requests, and the taglist is open, drop your name under this fic or on this list if you are interested! This does have a prior part but can be read as a standalone.

Pairing: Colson Baker x Reader

Warning: Smut, breeding kink

Inspo Song: Bad Things

Part I

My MASTERLIST

Colson: Busy?

Y/N: Why would I be busy?

Colson: For sure ain’t been answering my texts 🥱

Y/N: You need something, Col?

Colson: You know you only call me Col when you’re half asleep or whimpering my name when you about to cum. Let me come over.

Tongue-tied, his messages left you baffled. They were a smooth variation of sexting mixed with pleading. Every message included a very Colson apology but a rebuttal that followed and reminded you why you couldn’t fall back in the same routine with him. It was easy to picture yourself back with him, nestled against his lean frame - listening to his voice as it rumbled against his chest as he rambled on. You saw it clear as day, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t do what you required to have you back in his life. Fucking you in the bathroom of some club like a whore, giving your body a fix, but your heart and mind still felt that hesitation when it came to Mr. Baker.

“Are you listening?” Dana asked, holding up the soy powder milk for your nephew.

“I heard you clear as day.”

“You sure you didn’t just daydream the entire I talked about not feeding Jaylen after seven?” Dana placed the soy milk on the table and glanced down at her newborn. “If you’re not up to it, I can stay. I hate going out of town so soon after having him.” She tapped her soon on the back a few times and exhaled.

“We will be fine.”

“You say this, but I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You’re head has been shot ever since you broke up with the delinquent.” She rolled her eyes. “And what pisses me off is Tyla loves him!” She whispered and turned her attention to the seven-year-old parked in front of the tv. “I mean worships him.”

“I know. Colson is good with kids.”

“Because he’s childish.” She added. “He’s basically a six variant of one.”

“You can’t say one thing nice?”

“His music isn’t shitty,” Dana added. “I will be back at eight for the both of them, and I swear not to do this again, just my boss needs me, and their dad is busy.” She lied. “So- I love you, sis. Call Eric!” Dana kissed your cheek and sprinted out the door without another word.

Eric, you hadn’t seen him since you left the club a week ago, and you barely responded to his texts. The ride home was awkward; the entire time, he talked about how much he enjoyed the night. And the only thing you could think about was getting bent over in the bathroom by your ex. Good date.

Auntie duty had started. Diapers, Tiktok, YouTube, and some weird pig cartoon lay ahead of you for the next nine hours. Jaylen slept peacefully in his playpen, unbothered by his mother's lack while Tyla consumed her tv.

Colson: I got food open the door.

Y/N: What door?

Colson: Your apartment door. It’s Chipotle.

Fuck, you were hungry.

Y/N: Leave the food on the porch.

Colson: I’m not a god damn door dash.

The abrupt knocking startled Jaylen, soo you took him in your arms and walked to the door, “Stay in the living room Tyla.”

“K,” She answered, not even looking up from her phone.

You opened the door revealing Colson in his pink hoodie and gray joggers. He held bags of food in his hand and garnished a big smile on his face, “You look good with a baby.”

“Why are you here?”

“You wouldn’t come to see me or invite me over, so invited myself over. Can I come in?”

“No.” Jaylen stirred in your arms, his plump little legs kicked, and you sighed. “I am busy today. That’s why I didn’t invite you over. I have to keep my nieces and nephews, and every time you are over here, you either curse too much or we end up fucking.”

“Watch your mouth.” He teased.

“How were you texting with all that in your hands?” You stared at him.

“You know I got talented hands.”

“Colson!”

Why? You grimaced inwardly before looking at your overly excited niece, she loved Colson, and you hated to admit, he might be an asshole sometimes, but he loved kids. He was a wonder with them. You slapped your face, disappointed there was not a way to hide the massive man at your door. “He can’t stay.” You answered before the question left your lips.

“Why? Please!” Tyla pouted her pink lips and threw her arms up in defeat. “We never see him anymore.”

“That’s your aunt’s fault,” Colson added fuel to the fire. “I won’t stay long.” He pushed through, entering your apartment to greet Tyla with a hug at her level and a sly wink to you. Kids were the way to your heart – and his, but he would not win you over with this bullshit today. Not at all. “You hungry, Tyla?”

“Yeah, ten minutes, and you’re out.”

“Damn.”

“Tiktok?’ she held up her phone and the ring light from her purple book bag. “Please.”

“Word, what are we learning?” He raised his brows to you and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the couch; she was ecstatic, immediately standing to do a dance and drag you over to learn it too. Tiktok had become the bane of your existence, but for Tyla and her half a million followers, she was golden.

One hour later and you were tired, you’d perfected the dance, and Colson had convinced her to let him skip the dancing and just be—it was all he had to do though, she’d get one million views just because of who he was, and now everyone would know you were with him. Your heart dropped a little thinking about the exposure while she edited the video next to both of you.

“Why is Uncle Colson never around?” Tyla never looked up from her phone; she just continued her mission of posting that sixty-second video and ruining your life.

“He’s not your uncle.” You corrected.

“That’s your aunt’s fault too.” He added.

“Don’t start with me.” The harsh whisper came out as a warning, waking baby Jaylen from his nap and making Colson chuckle in amusement.

“I like him; I want him in the family.”

“I want a million dollars.”

“I can give you that.” He said.

“And a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t text insta-sluts in his spare time.”

“Don’t use sluts in front of her damn; your mouth is outrageous Y/N.”

The narrowing of your eyes made him burst into laughter again. He was damn good at annoying you like he had it mastered.

The day passed quickly with him making eyes at you, caring for Jaylen while she styled Colson’s hair in four ponytails atop his head, garnished with bows, and she even attempted to give him edges. He didn’t care; as long as she was happy, he was good.

“You look a mess.”

“It’s cool.” Colson snapped a picture. “Been waiting forever to see if ponytail was for me or not; it’s a no.” He sat back on the couch while Tyla disappeared to your room for god knows what else. “You look good with babies, you know?”

“You’ve said that.”

“I meant it; you’re good with them too.” He sighed. “I thought about kids with us, like every damn day.”

“Funny.” You shrugged, and she appeared with your bright pink polish. “What’re you doing, Tyla?”

“Painting his nails.” She plopped down in front of him, and without hesitation, he held his hand out for her. ���We did blue last time.”

“Yep.” He exhaled. “Don’t you want this?”

He didn’t have to elaborate; you knew what he was talking about, but a family was the last thing from your mind, no matter how perfect the scenario looked right now. “Do you?”

Colson smacked his lips. “We can talk later.”

“You leaving when they do.” You reiterated.

The door opened thirty minutes later without a knock or doorbell; Dana never announced herself. “I see he found his way back in.” Her mouth dropped as soon as her eyes met him. “Tyla just had her way today, didn’t she.” She laughed. “Oh god, she gave this man braids.”

“Your daughter is talented.” He laughed. “Might be a new look.”

“Ridiculous.” She held her laughter. “Ty, get up and come on, love; we have a long drive.” She took Jaylen from your chest and gave you a look. “How long is he staying?”

“Not long, sis, drive safe.”

“I will. Colson, you leave in ten minutes, or I’m sending our brother over.” She pointed to him.

“I’m not scared of Michael; send him.” Why did his arrogance only make you want him more? He looked to Dana, who, like him, was not bothered.

“I hate him.” She mumbled as she left. “I just fucking hate him.”

“It’s mutual!” Colson laughed as the door shut. “You’re gonna stay over there the whole time?”

“Aint no reason for me to be over there for real.” You thought of three reasons to stay where you were, the drop in his voice, the tension in this room that could be cut with a knife, and when he was alone with you, your willpower was nonexistent. “You have five minutes.”

“We aren’t going to talk about this, are we? You like being evasive and shit? That you’re new persona?”

“I have no new persona. This is me not playing into all the bullshit you bring when you’re with me. This is a wall.”

“I’m about to knock that wall over.” He smirked.

“Stay on your couch.” You warned.

Colson held his hands up, acting defenseless, “I wasn’t moving from this spot.”

“My sister hates you, you know that? She literally said that I would be better off leaving Cali before staying here with your toxic ass.” You found yourself pointing at him and wanting to knock that smile from his face. Colson liked to see you get feisty with him; he called that foreplay, and here you were dancing to the beat of his drum, pissed.

“How am I toxic? I stopped all that shit for you, every ounce of it.”

“Stop lying.”

Colson grinned at you, unwavering in his position and impressed that you were persistent in yours; your usual fights lasted about one day. You’d take him back, and everything went back to how it was before, but that changed nothing; you wanted him to change. “I am not lying to you. Come here.”

You walked over to him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull you down in his lap. Facing him, you admired all the little cuts he’d earned over the years in senseless fights or accidents. Your fingers traced over them before you cupped his face. What the fuck were you doing? Why were the two of you akin to magnets? Drawing one another in half of the time and then at the flip of a side hating one another? You placed your lips on him, parting his lips with your tongue and then flicking playfully over his teeth before he caught your bottom lip with his teeth and tugged. The slight pressure made you moan against him. He cradled your neck with one hand, not allowing you to escape him. Colson deepened the kiss, adding pressure and taking what little breath you had away. “I fucking miss you, Y/N.” He rasped.

"Don't talk.”You murmured back.

Colson didn’t listen; he never listened.  “You were good with them today.”

You growled, grinding your hips on him. “Shut up, Colson.”

“I want to talk to you, I want you back Y/N, shit. Like I am trying, I canceled recording sessions, appearances, and other shit all this month so we can figure this out. I don’t want to-,”

You stopped him from talking, gripping his cock through the sweats with one hand and kissing him to shut up.

“Stop.” In one fluid motion, your hands were by your side, and your eyes were on his, “We’re talking; I was not fucking other women. But I was entertaining them, and it’s no excuse. I know you’re hurt; I’m sorry. Like real talk, no joke – I apologize.”

“How do I know it won’t happen again?’

“I'll delete all this shit for you,” He admitted. “Fuck a platform.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m dead ass right now. Fuck it all. I just want you.”

“If it happens again, I am never taking you back, ever.”

“It won’t.” He whispered, loosening the grip on your hands.

You took advantage of the notion, moving your hand down to his cock, rubbing the hilt through his sweats again.

“Nah,” He gripped your hair, pulling you back, so your eyes met him. “It’s my turn now.” He pushed aside your shorts in seconds, and his fingers plunged into your pussy, curling for a moment and then spinning out of you. He placed his fingers on your lips, “Open up.” You didn’t hesitate to take his fingers, licking your own juices from them, and he tapped your face sending a slight pleasurable sting. “How you taste?”

“Ready.” You pulled him from the sweats feeling him jump at your cool hands, and stood up, wriggling out of the shorts before hovering back over him again.

Colson playfully tosses you on your couch, draping one leg to the ground. “Let me taste.” He whispered as he descended between your legs. Colson’s fingers brushed your swollen clit, before his lips latched on, sucking. You bowed from the couch, the moans and scratched to his shoulders done nothing but encourage. He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue into you and swirling around. You gasped, surprised and pleased as he worked.

“Col-“ You gripped his shoulders, lifting yourself from laying down, and he took full advantage, pulling you onto his face and fucking you with his tongue. Your body coiled, the jolts of pleasure popped around your body, and then you came. The white-hot energy surged through your body, and you panted, shaking, almost collapsing back on the couch. He caught you peppering the wet kisses from your pussy to your mouth.

“You good?”

“Better than.” You whispered, breathing heavily. “ Shit.”

“We’re not done.” Of course, you weren’t; his cock throbbed against his leg, waiting to ruin your life, and here you were still out of breath. Colson gently pulled you from the couch, sitting you in his lap, and he started once again with the kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips, and for some reason, that just made you wetter for him. He took advantage of stroking himself before he lowered you down on him. You took every inch, mouth slightly open and hair swinging the entire time. You pressed your breast against his chest, savoring the warm feeling of his cock inside of you, and then you started moving on him. Your muscles clenched around, gripping him with each stroke. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone; you took that added pleasure in stride biting your lip as it intensified every time your skin met.

Colson’s eyes were hooked on you, his fingers dug in your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock, urging you to keep going, and there was no way in hell you were going to stop. You could feel it building once again, this time bigger. “Hold it.” He whispered, knowing you were about once more. “Not yet.”

“Ah,” Impatience grew over you; you slowed your ride, winding your hips slowly, your eyes closed as you took over, fucking up into you, guiding your body to take more. “I can’t.” You whined as you fought to hold the orgasm back.

“Yeah, you can.” He slammed into you harder, knocking the breath from you, your toes curled, and you screamed as you shook against him. “I wanna feel that pussy shake around me when I cum; hold it.” He slapped your clit with three fingers, and your breath hitched. “Hold it.” His hand travels up your shirt to your bare stomach, and he kisses you once more. “Y/N.”  His hips rocked slowly, but then he started to fuck you quicker, the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot each time. You were a screaming mess, biting down on his shoulder. That done the trick he spasms against you growling. His warm cum triggered you. You came, sinking down and taking all of it. “Shit, you cheated.”

“You would’ve lasted forever.” You smiled lazily.

“Is that a complaint or a compliment?”

“Both.”

You wince, sliding off him, “right.” He rolled his eyes. “Now we gotta eat reheated Chipotle.” he stood up, fixing his pants. “Can I stay?”

“I guess.” You pulled the blanket over you, snuggling into your favorite place on the couch. He heads into the kitchen, and you reach for your phone, wondering what threat your sister had for you.

Meg: Are you still coming tonight?

This was not your phone; of course, it wasn’t. You unlocked the phone, clicking her name to look at the messages. But there is only red as Colson makes his way back into the living room. You throw the phone across the room, hitting the wall, and he stares at you. “What the fuck?”

“Take you and that Chipotle and get out.”

“Damn, what the Chipotle do?”

  A/N: One more part coming. I’ll drop it next week, I think! Thank yall for reading! Let me know what you think!!

Taglist: @taytayize123​ @ctrlszn @supernaturalvikingwhore @jae-writes-fanfiction @bigsisbria @placeoffreedom @kyla-queen @missdforever @gottatoxicattitude @bang-kim-bap @msreshel @blowmymbackout @titty-teetee @strawberry-skyes @mauvecherie @savageiz @bang-kim-bap @luci-her @littlelovebug98 @babyboy-cody @hellshedevil @daddyavesxx @crystalbaby12 @jeonsblackgf

commenters from serotnin who might be interested: @mgkmerchstyles @mayaslifeinabox

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

[elsecrytt]

Further OM! general plot/seasonal rot discussion

Once again gonna put this under a cut for the 'anon' from earlier - lol, no worries signing from anon, I know how tumblr is,,, so many blogs and sideblogs everywhere aaaa

bhahbfh

Yeah. Sorry. I don't really sign with my blog and it isn't my main so... It's always just Naomi when I sign off on things on anon.

I appreciate your insight into the change is OM's direction. I just don't know really. I LOVED S1 and S2 (it's why I am still here), but starting in S3... It noticeably dipped. It was less of that casual underlying darkness that was never too intense but was enough for what the game was and more.... slice of life with demons (but in a way humans could understand).

Also, it just feels more negative. Like, the characters were never 100% nice to each other (even to MC or MC to them if they didn't want to be), but it feels different now. Like, it felt like brothers and people who've known each other for too long (you know, when you start mocking your friends and family as a form of love) and they all defended themselves when they were insulted (except Levi, but it's Levi and he always berates himself) in S1 and S2 but now... It feels like they are genuinely trying to be mean to one another.

AND WHY IS MC SO PASSIVE?????? WE JUST LET SATAN GO FOR 2 WEEKS? WE DON'T QUESTION SIMEON'S OBVIOUS BEHAVIOR? WE JUST ACCEPT DIAVOLO DECIDING THE POLITICAL FUTURE OF THE DEVILDOM WITH FIELD DAY EVENTS AND NOT EVEN REALLY ASKING IF WE EVEN WANT THIS (being a political leader is not joke)? WTF GAME!

Also... (me personally) I have an issue with the weird inconsistency of the brother's relation to the Celestial Realm. They just... get along with Raphael? An angel who, as far as we know, was on the side that killed Lilith? And Lucifer (in one of Luke's devilgrams) is said to still talk to Michael? At least text him. The man who DEFINITELY helped seal Lilith's fate, and who acts like Lucifer's obsessed ex? What's with the weird retcons? It feels like someone scanned the wiki for lore and just... wrote fanfic based on that.

And... yeah, too many characters. There are no "routes" and trying to split time equally means no one really gets the time they deserve.

Sorry. I'm not the best at communicating through writing, but I hope I make sense.

~Naomi

Oh you're fiiiine!! I mean, obviously I don't know what's actually going on in your brain that you feel like you want to communicate but don't feel sure about, but I do feel like you've gotten a lot across here,,, and i feel u,,, i FEEL u,,

Like about. The brothers... not really acting like brothers. Don't get me wrong - season 1 brothers were fucking ASSHOLES to each other. I kinda wanted to stab asmo and levi at certain points, they straight up told mammon to go k*ll himself and that REALLY got me

Mammon in Season 1 does straight up say "Lucifer would totally destroy me, it'd take at least 200 million years for me to recover from that", so I would call into question how serious they potentially are, but still,,, it was a bad look for them

Aside from that, though, one of the things that really set aside OM! from a lot of other otome games with hot love interests was the dynamics between the brothers. They weren't all in a vacuum, they weren't stereotypical rivals or mortal enemies or best friends or whatever.

They were brothers. They followed each other into hell. They got mad at one another, they were nice to one another, they said and did shitty things and they always, always cared when it came down to it.

Early devilgrams (particularly the old memory cards from chapter M) are really good for this. Chapter A cards, as well (I'm thinking of Satan's, although Belphie's does have some, too) have some really sweet bonding moments between the brothers... along with casual mentions of "oh yeah I also killed/threatened this person" in passion that they take no real note of XD

Season 4 it's just like. I feel like they genuinely don't care about one another. The nicest I've seen anyone this season is Lucifer/Mammon worrying about Simeon, and don't even get me started on how :/ I am about how they're milking this weird arc with Simeon. I have such low confidence that the plotline there is going anywhere interesting... augh.

And MAN I've rambled plenty about Satan so I'll just yell briefly for a moment here and let it be. In fucking season 1 before we even have a pact with him, we go to see Satan after he fights with Lucifer. He has a very civil conversation with us for a bit, up until we refuse his pact.

It's not a case of Satan needing to run off to be alone with his feelings. That's not at any point demonstrated in the story. He's STILL mad when we go to see him, and he can chat with us just fine about. Non-Lucifer topics.

It really feels like MC doesn't fucking CARE man! And it feels like the other brothers don't give a shit, either! This isn't something that we've actually seen or experienced Satan doing before, except in Season 1, where WE STOP HIM. RIGHT AFTER. dasfklhjh don't get me started. or i won't stop. but my god they did not do satan good

DIAVOLO DECIDING THE POLITICAL FUTURE OF THE DEVILDOM WITH FIELD DAY

I am going to be one hundred percent real with you rn and say. That was canon. That was extremely in character for Diavolo and you know it. I know it. We all know it.

Obey Me! has always had a plot made of cardboard. It's never taken itself very seriously, with the sole exception of the events leading up to lesson 16 (and 16 summarily blows any serious consequences out of the water), and the climax of season 2.

The power levels are wildly inconsistent: Diavolo is the most powerful demon alive and cannot escape a karaoke room in season 3? The brothers are all extremely powerful demons and can't beat... a bogeyman? Lucifer is a skilled cursebreaker and Levi's video games get the better of him? Levi's video games... potentially trap the entire world in a forever repeating time loop???

And the other part you mention, about the relations of the brothers to the Celestial Realm etc - also, wildly inconsistent. You're telling me they literally fought in a rebellion, lost a sibling, and Belphie was the only one who resented... humans? But none of them like? Had anything against angels?

With Raphael and Michael... I can understand Michael from Lucifer's standpoint - there are points where Lucifer looks pretty perturbed by the prospect of visiting the Celestial Realm, etc., and I get the impression Lucifer does still have to interact with them for diplomatic purposes.

With Raphael I'm just... ??? UH?? Lucifer is kinda a dick to Simeon, and don't get me wrong, I find it very entertaining, he also like? Almost goes out of his way to be nice to Raphael?? WHY? Everything we hear about Raphael in the past is that Raphael didn't get along with the brothers?

I had absolutely been expecting Michael to like, actually show up this season, and it frustrates me every time he doesn't. Like seriously. Give us some Real Plot.

I've pretty handily resigned myself to the idea that if I want om! to just... feel serious, in any way, I'm reading fanfiction. The writers aren't going to deliver on that point, and I don't expect them to - at this point, all I want is characterization, and they... have been dropping the ball with that, imo >:(

[psychedelic-ink]

Spoiler filled rant about episode 4 of Kin under the cut because OH MY GOD

Okay first of all this episode gave me like legit stress, my cheeks burned and I literally started to sweat-- I just need to talk about it

So first of all Jamie was Michael's son???????? I saw a lot of people guessing it before the big reveal but I legit had no idea, sure apparently Amanda and mickey were having an affair (kudos to jimmy for like forgiving them both it seems like) but I in no way thought that Jamie was Mickey's kid-- Also does Jimmy know?? and like wtf Amanda the boy is dead so now you wanna talk about it??? Why not talk about it before, when Jamie was alive, even if Mickey thought about it it does make sense that he wouldn't want to come in and ask if the kid was his or not, especially since that's his brother's wife

god i just felt so so bad for everyone except for Amanda what a shitty situation to be in for all parties involved. I feel like Amanda just takes out all her anger on the family, even during the revelation of that Mickey wanted to leave and she told him to stay. He does and then BAM that was your son, why didn't you say anything etc. etc. Even then Michael's thinking of Jimmy saying that it was his place to do the eulogy which it was. Just because he was the biological father doesn't mean Jimmy wasn't Jamies father. Micheal, in the end, choose to ignore it even if his reasons were justified or not.

also quick side not it really annoyed me how amanda said "you've been fuckin' me," it takes two to fuck why act like all the blame falls on to Michael?

Honestly if I had to pick a villain in the family it would have to be Amanda, she just seemed toxic from the get-go. I understand why she acts the way that she does but she's just mean, like in episode three where Michael was literally only telling Amanda to bury the feeling in and trying to be helpful (about them taking revenge for Jamie) she turns and says "is that what you do with her?" why you gotta be so mean, my man's just trying to help and you're the one begged him to kill the murderer of her son.

Now, steering off the topic of Amanda, well not by a lot but still dvdfvfd, I am so HAPPY that she found out Viking was the one who started this all. I cannot wait for the whole family to whoop his ass because everything that happens in the show is legit is fault fbfbfdfv

Anywayss that's the end of my rant <3 can't wait to watch episode five but I need my stress to dissolve a bit, it's been a while since a series made me feel physically nervous and I'm loving it

sidenot: that scene with Anna was also very sad, the shitty friend, the phone call to mickey, I just want Anna to be happy-- I don't even care about Micheal that girl needs some comfort

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By My Side (Part 7)

Summary: Jensen hires a team to help watch over the reader after the events of the night before but his suspicions are high and that might not have been the smartest move on his part...

Masterlist

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen x reader

Word Count: 3,700ish

Warnings: language, angst, minor violence

A/N: Enjoy!

_________

Four Hours Later

“Hi,” you said, sat on the end of your bed as Jensen quietly walked inside and closed the door after himself. “Is your shoulder-”

“I gave you a direct order. I know you heard me. I know you purposefully ignored me. I-”

“You were losing.”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m losing the fight, if I’m winning it, you get your ass away from the fight.”

“I was okay though. I-”

“Damnit Y/N!” he shouted. You went quiet, Jensen’s chest puffed out, his hands on his hips. “You promised you would listen to me. You promised.”

“I did listen. I-”

“If I can’t trust you to listen to me, then you’re a risk to the both of us. I will stay on as your bodyguard until I can find a suitable replacement.”

“What?”

“I’m giving my notice. We’re done.”

You stared at him and he narrowed his eyes.

“Oh don’t you-”

“I saved your fucking life!” you said, standing and poking him in the chest. 

“I told you to run!” he shouted. You got in his face, brushing your nose against his. “You little...I told-”

“He wasn’t after me,” you said. You backed off as you rubbed the back of your head. “Me he wanted out of the way. He wanted you, didn’t he.”

Jensen bit his bottom lip and looked away but you grabbed his jaw and forced him to look at you.

“Why?”

“Word is out about your bodyguard boyfriend. You have money. I’m ransom money to some people.”

“You’re a shitty liar yourself, Jensen,” you said. You walked away from him and went out to your private balcony overlooking the pool. The door opened after a moment and you crossed your arms, leaning against the railing. A hand ran over your head and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “You can’t quit. Why did that person want you?”

“Truthfully, they probably wanted the both of us. I was the bigger threat so the guy went after me first. Next time it won’t just be one guy. Whoever is behind all of this will fork over more money for a team. You need your own team to stop that.”

“Why both of us?”

“I’m a soft spot of yours. Next time though they won’t try to take me probably. They’ll kill me outright. I’m too much hassle to try and deal with.”

“Someone wants to hurt me then?”

“I think a few things but I can’t know for sure. I think your life isn’t in danger. Your safety and the circumstances in which you live the rest of your life are but no, this person doesn’t want you dead. The gun didn’t come into play until you were clear of it. This person very much wants to be in my position.”

“My boyfriend?”

“Your protector. I’ll hire a team tomorrow. I know a guy that would be a good fit for your personal guard.”

“I thought I told you that you couldn’t quit.”

“I told you that when I say run, you run. You didn’t listen to me.”

“I’d make the same decision again.”

“Why?”

“Because he was hurting you and I’ve never been that angry in my life. Even the man that killed my father...maybe it’s because this was right in front of me but as long as I had the chance to help, I was going to help. Any bodyguard of mine is going to deal with that so get used to it.”

He leaned back against the railing, staring into the bedroom. He took a deep breath and rubbed his cut shoulder, sliding his hand over to your arm. He unfolded it and took your hand in his, giving it a squeeze.

“I would have liked to have met your father. It sounds like he raised an incredibly brave person like himself.”

“I run if you run too. I hide if you hide,” you said, turning your head. “New rules.”

“Alright. I still want a team. I have a feeling tomorrow night is going to be bad again.”

“I’m supposed to go to Gen’s baby shower,” you said.

“Do you want gun’s around your pregnant best friend?” he asked. You shook your head and he nodded. “They’ll need to reschedule anyways.”

“Why?”

“I need Jared on this with me and he won’t leave his wife and child. They-”

“Jensen. Leave them be. Jared needs to take care of his family. You’ll find a good team. We’ll just...take it one day at a time,” you said. 

“You should get some sleep.” He pulled you gently backwards until you spun around and followed him inside. You crawled under the covers, Jensen dragging a chair you had over to your small desk. 

“You’re not sleeping?”

“I need to work. I’ll sleep in the morning once I have a hire here to take over for me. You go ahead. I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Jensen,” you said as you lay down. He hummed and stopped the side of the bed before going off to get his laptop you assumed. “Make sure whoever you hires knows to keep an eye out for you too.”

“Yes mam,” he said softly. “Get some rest, honey.”

You woke up late the next day, Jensen passed out in his room when you trodded down the hall. There were five guys and a woman sitting at your dining room table, one of them standing as you gave a wave to them.

“Ms. Y/L/N. Good morning. I’m Brock Finley. I am your second in command and this is my team,” he said.

“I have two rules. Don’t drink all of my coffee and dudes, don’t leave the seat up and clean up after yourselves.”

“Yes, Mr. Ackles did go over your...requests earlier this morning,” said Brock.

“Walk with me, Mr. Finely,” you said, curling a finger. You walked him over to the kitchen, Brock reminding you a bit like Jensen when you first met him. “How do you know Jensen?”

“We served at the same time. I was injured on an operation with him, we recovered in the medical hospital in the same ward and grew to know one another.”

“Keep him safe,” you said. “As safe as me. I’m scared for him.”

“Mr. Ackles is in charge of-”

“I know. But keep him safe. Please.”

“We’ll do our best. The team’s been investigating possible leads and working with your manager to comb through any threats you may have received that seemed minor or even infatuations with you. I think Mr. Ackles is onto something with that track.”

“I honestly have no idea what’s going on anymore,” you laughed. “If you need anything from me, let me know. I plan on staying home today. My step-brother will dropping by shortly.”

“In the future please let us know in advance when guests will be…” he said as he saw the look on your face. “I’m going to return to work. There’s a team of eighteen on the premise, nineteen including Mr. Ackles. Don’t be alarmed if you see people outside.”

“Good to know,” you said, shaking your head as he left. “Eighteen? Really Jensen? I’m barely a B list actor on a good day.”

The doorbell rang and you caught the clock, nearly noon as you groaned. You rushed over and pulled it open, Nick standing there with a very confused look on his face and backpack over his shoulders.

“Hey,” you said as you let him inside.

“Nice SWAT team. Something going on?” he asked.

“Let’s go swimming. Better to talk there.”

“Wow,” said Nick twenty minutes later after you’d told him everything that had happened recently.

“Yup. I didn’t call you to come over cause of that though. I was...I’m nervous that with everyone moving out here you’re gonna be alone back home and it...scares me when...Jensen said something about us loving each other even if we don’t like one another and I think he had a point. I don’t want you to go to a dark place again Nick.”

“Y/N, could you slow down for a second? I know you move at a faster pace than most of us but I’m still on the fact you shot a gun last night. The chick that cried that time she thought she hit a squirrel in the road and she didn’t.”

“Oh. Sorry,” you said. You sat on the steps in the shallow end, Nick wading over and joining you. He sat back and played with the water in front of him for a moment before he let out a deep sigh.

“I like you, Y/N. Michael and I both do. We love you.”

“Why are you two so mean all the time then? It’s not teasing. It’s mean.”

“Cause you’re dad’s favorite. We know it. He never hid it from us. When we needed him, he was always with you and your mom. We think of her as our mom now and you our little sister but god we needed him and we were left on our own. You were an easy target to make us feel more in control. Instead of bonding with you, someone who understood exactly what we felt, we took advantage and we never bothered to stop. You were tough and could take it and we’re assholes. I’m sorry. The only reason I’m alive is because of you. You got me help. You still pay for my therapy. Shit I call you in the middle of the night and you pick up every time and just listen to me. You’re always going to be a better person than I am, Y/N. I suck at saying it but I’ve always been grateful to have you as my sister.”

“Could have just said that in the first place,” you said, wiping your face with the back of your hand for a second. “Come out here, Nick. You’d put my mind at rest.”

“I was never coming,” he said with a smile. “I sort of have a place already lined up back home with a roommate.”

“Yeah but I’m sure…” you said, catching the look on his face. “Oh. A roommate. Oh. Oh.”

“Yeah, hi, I’m bi in case you weren’t aware,” he chuckled. “Michael’s known since we were teenagers but I swore him to secrecy.”

“If we’re gonna have secrets, can we at least just keep them from the parents from now on?” you asked.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” said Nick. “Seriously don’t know you how didn’t catch on that I hang out with my best friend like all the time. Like all the time. And I sleep at his apartment all the-”

“I get it,” you said, Nick smiling. “He good to you?”

“Yeah. You don’t have to worry so much. You’re not the only one watching out for me,” he said. “But you though...what are you involved in?”

“I don’t know,” you said. “Last night got way too close for...say that again.”

“What are you involved in?” he asked. 

“Nick, can you do me a favor, like a monumentally huge favor and not tell anyone else about what I said. This is gonna be over tonight anyways.”

“What’s going on?” he asked as you stood.

“I know who wants to kidnap me.”

“Who?”

“My old manager of course. Can you keep everybody away from here the rest of the day? I have a feeling this is going to be messy.”

“She has a point,” said Jensen, half dressed ten minutes later as you spoke to him and Brock, the floor still a bit wet from where Nick had walked out the front door to head back to the hotel. “She did ruin his career.”

“But why escalate?”

“He wants money and his career back...and she is smarter than both of us put together,” said Jensen as it clicked for him.

“You got it?” you asked as he nodded.

“Involved Inn. It’s the firm your manager used to work with. It’s the firm your current manager works with.”

“Inside man,” said Brock. “How’d he know you’d hire him?”

“He knows the kind of person I like to work with and he was smart enough to research Jensen and know that a military background wouldn’t hurt.”

“Oh fuck,” said Jensen, his face going white.

“What?” you asked. He swallowed as he looked around, putting his hand on his holster and pulling out his gun. He undid the clip and showed you that it was empty. “Don’t you need bullets in that?”

“There were bullets,” said Jensen, grabbing your hand and pulling you away from Brock. “Finely Associates. They’re hooked up with Involved Inn. Very, very closely involved.”

“You chose the absolute worst possible group of people to hire you know,” said Brock. Jensen walked backwards with you into the living area, the both of you catching sight of the various guards around. “Two against eighteen is not very good odds.”

“Let me talk to your boss, we can-” you said.

“Kid was unknowingly in on it. Didn’t think his old mentor would screw him over like that,” said Brock. “So here’s how it goes. We-“

“This doesn’t add up. People don’t admit to shit in real life like that. No one’s forcing you to say a thing. This is a paycheck for you. No, something else is going on. You just want us to think it was my old manager, don’t you?” you said. Brock tilted his chin up and you crossed your arms. “You knew Jensen would hire your team and we’d make a connection. So here’s how it really goes. I guarantee I got more money than whatever you’re being paid. You drop this little charade, I pay you, and we get down to the issue of who hired you.”

“Mr. Ackles hired us.”

“You know what I mean. Who-”

“Mr. Ack-”

“I didn’t hire you to do this,” said Jensen. “I said...you got a second phone call, didn’t you. One saying you wanted to perform a live test, didn’t you.”

Brock was silent and Jensen made a face. 

“Tell me the truth or you’re all fired and being brought up on charges immediately,” said Jensen. Brock looked nervous for the first time and you pouted. 

“You said-”

“Dammit, Finley. You’re all fired. Leave. Now.”

“But sir you said-”

“I hired you to protect her, not play games. All of you, get the fuck out.”

Brock nodded and the team all left, Jensen getting in Brock’s face.

“You are always so gullible. Always. It’s what landed your ass in that hospital. You never verify information. Just go in head first. I-” said Jensen, Brock’s jaw clenching.

“At least my whole unit wasn’t corrupt behind my back! At least I didn’t wind up living in a hole in the ground for weeks because I was too stupid to see-”

“Get the fuck out of my house.” Jensen’s whole body was tense as Brock left, his hands clenched by his sides. The house was eerily still, the only sound was Jensen’s harsh breathing.

After a moment he calmed and turned around, looking you up and down.

“I’m sorry. I thought Brock was smarter than falling for a fake phone call.”

“What exactly just happened?” you asked.

“Whoever wants you set up a fake drill, a test of sorts. Normally we would run one with the participants knowledge or give them a heads up in order to find vulnerabilities in a protection detail. What just happened was to mess with you and for this guy to say he’s smarter than us. It scares me because he probably is and he’s miles ahead of us. I don’t know how to keep you safe by myself, Y/N and I sure as shit don’t know who I can trust.”

“Your old unit, the good ones, call them. They’ll help you.”

“They’re all over the country.”

“You call them and I will get them out here. I will give them whatever they want. Private jets are a thing you know.”

“Y/N-”

“We need help. Let’s get help.”

“I’m sorry I’m so horrible at my job.”

“If you were horrible at your job I’d be in some basement right now. We’ll get through this and then just you and me can go on a trip away, just the two of us,” you said. He looked down and you padded over, taking his hand. “Okay?”

“I can’t stop everything,” he said. “This guy is smarter than anyone I’ve dealt with before, way smarter.”

“Then we call in for backup. We got this. I promise.”

Later That Evening

“Jared,” you said as he walked in the front door with a hum. “Jared Padalecki. What the hell are you-”

“Don’t even start with me,” he said, shutting the door after himself. You opened your mouth but he simply adjusted the bag over his shoulder. “Gen and Tom are safe and you need all hands on deck and frankly I was coming whether you liked it or not.”

“Jared-” you said as he walked past and into the living room. 

“I’m here. Get over it,” he said before putting on a smile. “Hey guys. I swear you got uglier, Benny.”

“Must be from looking at you,” said Benny before he stood and gave Jared a hug. You hung back at the kitchen island, quietly listening to the eight of them talk and catch up before Jensen was standing and going over what had happened lately. You got a bit lost once they started talking in technical terms but suddenly they were breaking and everybody was grabbing their bags.

“How you holding up?” asked Jensen when he took a seat beside you.

“Nervous,” you said. “Tonight’s gonna be bad, isn’t it.”

“Hopefully not,” said Jensen as a redheaded woman went over to your fridge and grabbed a can of beer. “Y/N, this is Charlie. She was in charge of tech and surveillance for us back in the day. She works for google now, right?”

“That’s so three jobs ago,” she said with a smile. “She’s cute.”

“Thanks,” you said, Jensen rolling his eyes. “Oh, you’re…”

“Jensen ever bores you, give me a call,” she said with a wink. You swallowed and she laughed, Jensen chuckling to himself. “I’m joking. If I were into dudes I probably would be all over that myself.”

“You are not what I was expecting,” you said.

“Oh just cause we did secret stuff didn’t mean we were all sir yes sir.”

“Charlie was picked straight out of college for her...unique compter skills we’ll call it. If I could train this flailing hot mess, you’ll be just fine, honey. Charlie’s going to stay here with Ash as an attempted diversion. She’ll wear your clothes, Ash’ll wear mine. They’ll put on some wigs, we’ll see how that goes tonight.”

“Where are we going?”

“So this is an interesting hiding spot,” you said, squatted down in your next door neighbors kitchen twenty minutes later. “Thanks again Doug, I really appreciate it, even if I don’t get what’s going on yet.”

“It’s no problem, kid. The girls are on the road with their mother for the week so perfect timing,” he said. Jensen paced back and forth by the window in the dark house, not that you had much of a view of your own from over there. “Mind if I ask why you two trust me of all people?”

“Because you were halfway through kicking that paparazzi’s ass by the time I even showed up,” said Jensen, glancing over his shoulder. “You don’t want someone hurting your kids. It’s not a big leap to you keeping a watchful eye on your young neighbor just in case.”

“What are you expecting to learn from all this though. Aren’t you just going to get the team at best and not the guy?” asked Doug.

“Team could lead us to answers.”

“You know that won’t work. You’re trying to keep your head above water at this point, aren’t you,” he said.

“Yeah, Doug, I am,” said Jensen, snapping back quickly. “You have any genius ideas I’d love to hear them.”

“Y/N, when your show starts back up, would you mind letting the girls have a tour of set? They love it,” said Doug.

“Of course. If I’m still around that is,” you said. He smiled and glanced at his computer. “What?”

“I’m about to use up a huge favor that’s owed me. Glad I held onto it all these years,” he said. He took a seat behind his laptop and took out his phone.

“What are you doing?” asked Jensen.

“I’m going to ask for surveillance from last night, see if we can’t backtrack where that intruder originally came from.”

“You can do that?” you asked.

“It’s not easy but yeah, I can do that. I still have a few friends in the business. Let’s see if we can get you kids a break.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 8 here!

[babymetaldoll]

Danger Days - Chapter thirteen: "Screaming infidelities"

Word count: 15,4K

Summary: It's Gubler's birthday and like the title says, someone will fuck it up.

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, angst, hurt, pain, alcohol, mention of oral sex.

A/N: Kids, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this, but... it's done. Please don't hate me.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | Chapter sixteen | Chapter seventeen | Chapter eighteen | Chapter nineteen | Chapter twenty | Chapter twenty one | Chapter twenty-two | Chapter twenty-three | Chapter twenty-four |

---

::: Paris, March 1st, 2011 :::

Joey stared at the ceiling of her room and sighed. She was alone. It was already midnight. She was happy she finally had a room on her own, after weeks traveling on a bus with the band. They were in Paris, and she was weary. But still, she couldn’t sleep. She stared at her phone and sighed. Matthew had said “I’ll call you back” an hour ago, and still, he hadn’t called her back. That was killing her.

She hadn’t seen her fiancé in over a month, and they were both in different time zones, which made it pretty hard to talk. She was nine hours ahead. At the moment, she was fighting to stay awake to talk to him, but he wasn’t calling her. Would it be wrong if she insisted? Matthew was working… maybe Joey should just sleep. She was weary after all, too much traveling, too many shows. That tour was fucking eternal, and she just wanted to go home.

The young woman walked to her bag, grabbed one of Matthew’s shirts, and put it on a pillow. Yes, she dressed a pillow in her boyfriend’s clothes. That’s how much she missed him. She could deal with loneliness ‘cos she was used to being alone. Still, somehow, she couldn’t deal with the loneliness that meant being far from Matthew.

- "It’s a good thing I decided to marry him then"- she said to herself as she stared at the ring on her finger.

A big part of her wanted to time travel and tell four-year-old Joey everything would be ok, that she was going to be happy after all. That she was going to manage to trust not one but two people. Her soon-to-be husband and her best friend, Mikey Way. If there was something she could cherish from being on tour with My Chem for months now, it was calling Michael James her brother.

Joey wrapped her arms around “Mattpillow” and smelled his perfume on it. Maybe it was better to text him and tell him she was gonna call earlier; it was… three in Los Angeles. If she set the alarm at six in the morning, she could catch him around nine. Yeah, that was much better.

- “Call you later. I’ll sleep a little, love you! Take care!”- she texted him.

::: Barcelona, March 5th, 2011 :::

Mikey, Ray, and Joey walked outside the arena, searching for the best sangria they could find before the show. Joey’s mom had sent them on that quest, repeating over and over again there was no way they left Spain without having tasted it. And considering it was alcohol, they didn’t argue a lot with Mrs. Sigmundsson.

- "Dude, I’m so fucking tired"- Mikey whined as he finished his hundredth cup of coffee of the day.

- "I know, I need a break from touring"- Joey said and yawned- "I wanna go home."

- "Me too"- Ray added and looked at his phone- "I miss my wife."

- "Oh, shut up!"- Mikey argued right away- "I don’t wanna go over this conversation again, you have someone you love, and you miss them. I don’t miss home, I have no one, end of the story"- Joey and Ray looked at each other and raised an eyebrow.

- "Is your underwear too tight today, or are you just being a little bitch because you want to?"- Joey asked right away, Ray chuckled, but Mikey didn’t think it was funny.

- "Shut up, Bug."

- "Not in the mood to be nice, then."

- "Nop"- that last “p” sounded like the end of it. But that wasn’t going to stop Joey.

- "Sorry, we are…"- what stopped Joey was her cellphone. Her eyes shone like diamonds when she saw Matthew’s face at the other side of the screen, waking up.

- "Yami! Good morning!"

- "Akumu!!!"- Ray and Mikey looked at her and walked a little faster to give her some privacy.

- "Is she still sleeping with the “Mattpillow”?"- Toro asked- "That shit is creepy"- and Way laughed, finally, he had been pretty serious that day. And the day before.

- "Yeah, that’s a thing. I’ve taken pictures I wanna use to blackmail her in case I ever need it."

- "Good plan"- Ray looked around. Joey was standing half a block behind, still on the phone- "Mikey, are you ok?"

- "Yeah, why?"

- "‘Cos you don’t seem to be ok at all,"- Toro felt it was his duty as a friend to tell what had been in his mind for the last couple of weeks- "Dude I’m sorry, I just… don’t think you… it’s shitty you are getting a divorce. I just don’t think you are taking it well."

- "Can you take a divorce well?"- Mikey simply replied, and that was enough to shut Ray up.

- "I’m just trying to tell you I’m here if you want to talk, and you don’t have to get so drunk every time we are out or whatever."

- "Is this an intervention? ‘Cos we had many those for Gerard back in the days. I can recognize an intervention."

- "No, Mikey! It’s not. Everybody should be here reading letters if it was"- Ray had a point- "I’m just trying to tell you, I’m here for you, man. And we can talk about anything."

- "I know, Ray… I just… don’t feel..."

- "You don’t feel like talking, I know, you haven’t talked about it, ever I guess… and I don’t feel that’s working for you. I’m scared and worried, and I’m your friend, I had to tell you."

Way and Toro stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. Mikey knew Ray was right; he had shut down from all his friends, basically for the last three months or so. Still, he didn’t feel ready to share any kind of thought or feeling with any of them.

- "Ok kids, around the block, there’s a place called “Las tapas de Pepe.” Apparently, they have a killer sangria"- Joey clapped and walked past them on her way to the bar.

- "Wait, how do you know that?"

- "Because, Raúl me enseñó muchas cosas nuevas, (Raul taught me a lot of new things)"- the two musicians looked at her frowning not getting a word, so the girl turned to them and smiled- "That guy over there, his name is Raúl. I asked for sangria, he gave me an address. Come on!"

Joey turned around again, avoiding looking sad in front of her friends. The truth was, she wasn’t doing that well about being far from Matthew. It was getting too hard. She was thinking about quitting. And every time she talked to him, she was feeling more sure about that decision. She never told him, though. She didn’t want to make him feel responsible in case she made a mistake leaving the job. She also didn’t want him to know how much influence he had on her, Joey didn’t want to lose power in his life, she didn’t want to stop being independent, but it was hard.

::: Germany, March 8th, 2011 :::

Mikey was sugar rushed, jumping around the bunks as the bus traveled from Zurich to Munich. He and Joey had bought most of the chocolates in Switzerland and ate half of them in less than two hours. They were in heaven. Sugar heaven.

- "Can you please stop it?"- Gerard yelled at them from his bunk.

- "Nope"- his younger brother answered and jumped like a kid on top of him.

- "Leave me alone! I wanna sleep!"

- "Fine. Come on, Bug, let’s get away from this loser"- his words were so childish Joey burst out laughing.

- "Get in, loser, we are going shopping"- Joey said and flipped her hair. Gerard stared at her walking away with his brother, and groaned as he covered his head with the pillow.

He was fucked.

The last month had been torture for him. Joey was now not even talking to him. Never. It felt she honestly hated him, and he knew he couldn’t ask. Lynz kept asking for her, and he was sure she suspected something was going on.

- "So, have you and the guys have fun these days?"- she had asked earlier that day when he called her before the show.

- "Fun like going out fun? No, we are too tired to move. These weeks have been killers."

- "So you are all just at the bus locked the whole time?"

- "Pretty much"

- "On each other’s faces?"

- "Yeah… I wanna kill Mikey."

- "And how’s Joey doing?"

- "Good… we haven’t talked much."

- "She hadn’t talked to you or you hadn’t?"- the singer made a pause thinking about that question, and most of all thinking what would be an intelligent answer to that.

- "We don’t share a lot"- that all he had- "I guess we don’t talk to each other"- he made a pause and lit a cigarette, walking on his own through the backstage- "Why do you ask?"

- "I don’t know, I guess you never talk about her, and I thought it might be because you have…"- Lynz made a pause to make her husband even more nervous- "A problem with her or something."

- "No, we don’t have a problem, we aren’t friends, that’s all…"

Now on the bus, Gerard closed his eyes, still hiding under the pillow, Joey’s laughter all around him, while Frank and Ray played video games. What was he going to do?

::: At the bus, close to Munich. March 9th, 2011 :::

It was Matthew’s birthday, and Joey was miserable ‘cos she couldn’t spend the day with him. But still, she set her alarm at eight am and locked herself in the back of the bus, texting him. She wanted to be the first one to sing happy birthday to him. And so she waited, looking at the clock.

She went through old pictures to kill time, watched part of a movie Mikey had left on the DVD the night before. Matthew didn’t reply to her text. And so she waited longer. Joey wanted to call him at midnight. She was nine hours ahead. Minute by minute, she waited. Until it was time. She smiled and dialed. Nothing. Again. Nothing.

- "Where the fuck are you?"- her stomach was made a knot as her brows furrowed. Third call. Matthew finally picked up the FaceTime call.

- "Yami!!!"- he yelled, wasted- "It’s a party!"- he pointed around and moved the camera of his phone like a maniac, making Joey dizzy right away. No wonder why he wasn’t picking up.

- "Happy birthday, Akumu!"

- "Hey! Hey!"- he tried to walk through a lot of people as Joey frowned, wondering where the hell her fiancée was.

- "Wild party!"- she said as soon as she noticed Gubler had locked himself in a bathroom to talk.

- "Yeah! The guys set a little surprise party for me"- he slurred and smiled- "I love you."

- "I love you too."

- "No, I love you more. Why aren’t you here?"

- "‘Cos I’m working, but I’ll be home in two weeks, so wait for me."

- "I want you here now."

- "I wish I was there."

- "Then quit"- Joey sighed. Arguing was useless; Matthew was drunk.

- "Hey! Akumu, is Paget there? Is she gonna drive you home?"

- "No, she’s not here."

- "You are not partying with your friends?"

- "Yeah, with the guys from the movie"- Joey raised an eyebrow, thinking she had no idea where Matthew was or with who.

- "Are you sure you are ok?"

- "Yeah, baby! It’s my birthday, we are gonna party like it’s my birthday!"- Joey’s heart ached at the thought of what could go wrong. But she loved and trusted her boyfriend, and she knew he would never hurt her.

- "Hey Matthew"- she said and looked straight into his eyes through the camera- "I love you."

- "I love you too."

- "I’ve got your heart here with me all the time"- she showed him her necklace, and he nodded- "There’s gonna be a present from me waiting for you when you get home."

- "Nice!"- Joey smiled, thinking it was probably Matthew wasn’t going to remember that conversation- "Listen, Yami, someone is trying to get into the bathroom."

- "That’s ok, I’ll call you later, ok dorky?"- he nodded and waved, the girl kissed the screen, but he had already hung down.

Joey hated being in Germany at the moment.

Could Gubler be an asshole and cheat? No way, Joey trusted him with her eyes wide shut. But he was hot and drunk, and she was sure there were more than just a couple of girls trying to get into his pants. If the guys were there- his friends- she wouldn’t even worry about it. But they weren’t. He was with some random people from the set she hadn’t even met.

Soon the regret of their last fight came to mind. They weren’t mad at each other, but perhaps… no, there’s no way he would be an asshole because of that stupid fight. It was a silly fight for her. Was it serious for him?

A few nights before, Matthew had gotten mad at a conversation with Joey ‘cos she didn’t want to change her last name. That’s what he picked from the conversation. She just said she didn’t think it was necessary to do so. He didn’t take it that well.

- "What’s the problem with changing your name?"

- "I’m just saying the tradition of women changing their last names after they marry it’s a bit old fashion. It makes me think women are still treated like an object that “belongs” to a man."

- "So you won’t change your last name?"- the girl frowned, staring at Matthew’s wide-opened eyes on the screen.

- "That’s not… do you want me to change it?"

- "Yes! of course, I do! you are gonna be my wife!"

- "So? If I’m still Joey Sveinbjörndottir after we marry, I won’t be your wife?"

- "That’s not what I meant"- Gubler was more frustrated than he had felt in months over any conversation they had ever had. This time, it was serious.

- "Then what is it?"

- "I’m just saying you should change your last name ‘cos we will be married, and I’d love for you to be Mrs. Gubler."

- "I will be your wife, isn’t that enough?"

- "Why do you always have to be so fucking independent?"- Matthew just yelled- "Can you just try to understand I want you to be mine? My wife! And I want everybody to know it!"

- "So you wanna put me on display?"

- "No!! Fuck no!!"- Matthew was tired and defeated. It seemed that stupid argument was more about a bunch of little things that had grown inside his head instead of just about the last name.

- "Why can’t I be independent? Is that a bad thing?"

- "No! It’s a good thing! I just... "- Matthew bit his tongue and sighed, trying to rearrange the thoughts in his head. He needed to make sure whatever he was going to say would explain his feelings clearly.

- "You just?"- Joey asked, standing in the middle of the hotel room she was staying at that night. She just stared at the wall, thinking she had no idea what had gotten into her boyfriend’s head.

- "I just don’t feel you need me sometimes."

- "What? Are you crazy?"

- "No, that’s what I feel. Are you gonna blame me for feeling?"

- "Well, you are being silly!"

Joey was real angry at him at the moment. Everything he had said hurt her. It seemed he had insulted all the kindness and love she had given him when it was very hard for her to show her feelings and let someone into her heart.

- "What is it that you want from me, Matthew? Do you want me to be needy and clingy? ‘Cos you know that’s not who I am!"

- "I know that! I just sometimes… it feels like you’d be great without me."

- "What?"

- "Like you don’t…"- but the girl didn’t let him continue.

- "Don’t say you feel I don’t love you!"

- "I know you love me."

- "Then?"

- "You don’t depend on me the way I depend on you"- the drummer was in shock at those words. Did he depend on her?- "You leave me here, you tour the world, you are happy, I’m here, I miss you. Every time we talk, you are shining… meanwhile, I am here, dying, waiting to be with you!"

- "First of all, you could come!"

- "I’m working too!"- but Joey cut him off and continued.

- "Second, who says I don’t miss you? Just because I’m not crying when we talk doesn’t mean I am not miserable! Matthew! What the fuck are you saying? I fucking love you with my whole life! I hate being here when I could be there with you at this very same minute doing anything together, even when that anything is staring at the wall! But I have to work, and I happen to love my job, the same way you love yours! You can’t blame me for not quitting!"

Joey bit her lips as she stared at Matthew at the other side of the screen. She was making her best not to cry. She had never been so mad at her fiancé before.

- "I just…"- he tried to continue, but his voice broke- "I feel like I’m going insane here without you"- tears fell from his eyes as Joey wiped off hers from her cheeks.

- "Matthew, I miss you too! Fuck! I’m going crazy, just like you! I want to be there. I wanna kiss you! I wanna make love to you! But… you can’t ask me to be someone I’m not! Can’t you just be happy your girlfriend loves you, misses you, and will marry you as soon as she finishes touring?"

Gubler sighed and stared at her.

- "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Matthew Gray Gubler. I don’t care about the last name. I don’t care about anything as long as you are beside me."

The young man sighed and cut her a short smile.

- "How do you always end up making me feel like a dork for getting mad at you?"

- "‘Cos I’m gonna be your wife, that’s my job"- she chuckled, and they stared in silence for a few seconds.

- "I love you so much, Joey."

- "I love you more, Matthew Gray."

That had been days before. Was Matthew still upset at her because of that? No way. He didn’t sound mad at all. He was just drunk and happy to celebrate his birthday.

- "You are overthinking this ‘cos you are far from him"- the girl reassured herself out loud and looked at the screen again- “Love you dorky”- she typed and sent her boyfriend a message. That was something he couldn’t forget.

The girl stayed still looking at the TV in front of her for a few seconds, but the knot in her stomach was too tight, and the thoughts in her head were too scary. She felt sick, scared, anxious.

Joey was jealous, shit!

She ended up puking in the bus’s tiny bathroom, just like every time she felt seriously distressed.

- "Hey, are you ok?"- Gerard found her on the bathroom floor, flushing, pale, and a little weak.

- "Yeah…"

- "Are you sick?"

- "No, I just… I’m ok."

- "Sure?"

- "Yeah, I just need an herbal tea. I felt dizzy all of a sudden"- she held the hand he offered her and stood up.

- "I’ll put on the kettle"- Joey stumbled a little as she walked with Gerard to the front of the bus.

- "Hey Bug"- she heard Mikey’s voice as he opened the curtain of his bunk. She slowly moved over and sat next to him- "Did you talk to Matthew?"

- "Yeah, he was wasted"- and Mikey chuckled.

- "That’s my boy."

- "I didn’t like it."

- "Come on, he is a good kid. He will probably drink his liver away and then go to bed, have a killer hangover, and talk to you until either of you falls asleep like he always does."

Mikey reassured her, and the girl chuckled, nodding. Her friend was right. She was still dizzy, though, so she carefully laid down next to him and felt his arms around her slowly.

- "Bug, you are freezing."

- "I’m ok. Gerard is making me an herbal tea… I should do it, actually; he ain’t my nanny"- the girl tried to stand up, but Mikey held her.

- "You should get into your bunk for another while. You might be getting the flu."

- "I’m ok, trust me"- she finally stood up and smiled at her friend.

- "Here, take my hoodie."

- "Thanks… it stinks."

- "But it’s warm, does the trick"- she smiled and put it on. Gerard had just left the cup of tea on the table. She walked over slowly and cut him a smile. An honest and nice smile.

- "Thank you, Gerard."

- "You can call me Gee, you know"- she nodded and sat down by the table.

Gerard sat in front of her, sipping his fresh cup of coffee. The two of them were quiet. Joey was thinking about Gubler. What was he doing at that very exact moment? Why wasn’t she there? How would it have been if they were together? They would probably be naked in his bed. And that would be great. It would be way much better than what she was doing at the moment, sitting on a bus staring at the window.

- "Are you sure you are alright?"- he whispered, and she nodded again- "Do you wanna go back to bed? I mean bunk."

- "No, I’m fine here… besides, we should be getting ready…"- she stayed quiet and looked outside- "Where are we?"

- "Munich"

- "Great… we had a hotel room here, right?"

- "Yeah"

- "Finally!!!"- she raised her arms, and he chuckled- "I need a real bed."

- "Me too."

- "And a long fucking bath"- he nodded and looked into her eyes. They were stuck in the cup of tea again.

- "We’ve got the Valencia gig in a couple of days."

- "Right! The MTV streamed no stressful at all show in Spain"- he chuckled and nodded.

- "Nervous?"

- "Not really"- she lied, the fact MTV was going to stream the show was freaking her out, but at the moment, she didn’t care that much. Her head was back in Los Angeles. Her phone hummed, and she quickly grabbed it. “I love you too,” Matthew had written, and a deep sigh came from her lips. Gerard was going to ask something, but not a word came from his lips. Instead, Jeff - their tour manager - opened the door and smiled.

- "I got you an early check-in at the hotel."

And those words were music for Joey’s ears.

That day was hell for the girl. The good thing was the band didn’t have anything to do but play the show, which meant: movies with Mikey and Frank, the best way to keep her head busy from thinking the worst.

- "I’m bored"- Frank whispered as he played with Joey’s hair, who was laid next to him.

- "We have to leave for the show in a while"- Mikey whispered, half awake, half asleep.

- "Great"- the girl murmured, eyes glued at the screen- "I’m hungry."

- "You just ate."

- "I’m bored. Boredom makes me hungry."

- "Come on, let’s get something to eat"- Frank grabbed Joey’s hand and stood up- "I need to move from this bed, or I’m gonna die of boredom."

- "Can you bring me some ice cream?"- Mikey asked from the bed as Joey and Frank put on their shoes.

- "Nope, if you want something, you gotta come with us"- the girl smiled at her friend, who didn’t move.

- "Damn it! Fine… I won’t have ice cream."

- "Good for you, see ya!"

Gerard was just done jerking off in his bed. He wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t have much to do. He had tried to make music, but shit wasn’t working. He had thought about calling his wife, but it was five in the morning in Los Angeles. He was miserable. He wanted to find a way to end his agony. But all he could think about was Joey walking around the bus in her pajamas. Joey sleeping in the back of the bus in those shorts and a tank top. Joey curled on a couch reading Edgar Allan Poe. His cock was killing him, and his hand hadn’t been enough. He wanted her so bad it hurt, and masturbation just wasn’t enough anymore.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he was willing to make her happy. But he knew he couldn’t do either of those things.

- “Come live with me and my wife, ‘cos polygamy ain’t illegal or whatever.”

The singer sighed and looked at the ceiling, toilet paper all over his hand, cleaning the mess he had left.

- "You have issues, dude"- Gerard said out loud and closed his eyes. Honestly, there was nothing he could do but to love the girl from a safe distance and hope for his feelings to fade as soon as the tour was over.

Way didn’t want that tour to end because he didn’t want to be apart from Joey. In fact, Gerard was starting to feel obsessed. He hated it, but still, he didn’t know how to stop.

Frank kept laughing like a kid as he and Joey sat at the hotel’s roof deck. He was drinking a beer and smoking while she finished her second ice cream.

- "Mikey Fucking Way"- she argued, frowning- "Because of him, I can’t stop thinking about getting ice cream."

- "You are so fucking high in sugar"- Frank added and grinned.

- "I know! It’s gonna be hell when I get my sugar hangover."

- "I can kiss your temples if that helps"- he answered and winked at her. The girl smiled and raised an eyebrow.

- "Why are you such a flirt with me, Frank Anthony?"

- "I am not a flirt!"- he answered, nearly insulted, but still chuckled after a few seconds as his friend stared at him right into the eyes.

- "Come on! We’ve been friends for a long while now. You are always such a flirt with me. Are you like this with all the girls?"

- "Define like this"- he answered with a lower voice and made his best to look as hot as fuck.

- "Just what you did, you are adorable and hot and cute and all innocent. Why are you like that?"

- "Why? You don’t like it?"

- "I love it, it’s so fucking funny and cute, like you. But sometimes it makes me wonder if you are like that with all the girls…"

- "Why?"

- "’Cause I know you are just my friend, and you can be as flirty as you want; I know it’s a game. But what if you do this with someone who doesn’t get it as I do… then what?"- Frank stayed quiet, looking at his friend. Then took a long drag from his cigarette.

- "What if I’m just a flirt with you?"

- "I surely doubt it"- Joey quickly answered, laughing- "I’ve seen you flirt with basically 99% of the girls we’ve met this tour. You just don’t notice it."

- "I haven’t!"

- "You do, Frank, that’s why I know you are harmless"- that frustrated the guitarist, though he knew he wasn’t going to get any with her anyway. She was his friend; he loved his wife. He just thought Joey was hot.

- "Tell you what, I like flirting with you ‘cos you are cute, and you don’t get nervous"- Iero simply confessed.

- "Of course, I don’t! You are my friend, and this is like…"

- "The nature of our friendship?"

- "You just read my mind, Jersey"- the two of them stayed quiet and smiled.

- "I would hit on you if I wasn’t married, though"- Joey burst out laughing at those words, but Frank just smiled- "I mean it."

- "I know."

- "If I wasn’t… and I did… do you think I’d stand a chance?"- the girl blushed and finished her ice cream.

- "I’d say you would if Gub wasn’t in the picture, of course. We could have gone out on a couple of dates, have fun."

- "And fuck like bunnies"- Frank added, and Joey hit his arm.

- "Dude, you are my friend. Friends don’t fuck."

- "What? So friends make love? besides, we are talking about an alternative universe that will never happen!"

- "Shut up!! You are gross!!"- Joey covered her face with both hands as she shook her head- "You are so fucking funny Jersey, I’m glad I met you."

- "I’m glad I met you too, Iceland. You should stay forever"- she smiled and nodded.

- "I’m not going anywhere today."

- "I mean, you should sign to be a member of the band, like… one of us."

- "One of the guys?"

- "Yeah"- she smiled and held his hand.

- "You are taking this relationship too fast. We’ve been together a few months. We haven’t even moved in together. I don’t think we are quite there yet."

- "You live on my fucking face, Iceland"- Frank laughed and pushed her- "Which reminds me, you have to do your fucking laundry."

- "Yeah… I swear I’ll do it in Spain, while you do all the press and I have the hotel all by myself."

- "You know, sometimes I hate you for that."

- "For not having to do any interviews?"

- "Yeah… I hate those things."

- "Why? 'cos you have to sit in front of a microphone for hours answering the same fucking questions, over and over again?"- she said, smiling.

- "Fuck you."

- "I’m sorry!!"- she laughed, and he grinned- "I bet press sucks, but it comes hand in hand with being a rockstar."

- "I hate that too"- he said and scratched his head, stubbing his cigar in an ashtray- "I just wanted to make music. I don’t know where everything else came from. Sometimes I wish I could stop it all and go home, be with my babies, with my wife."

Frank suddenly had gotten too serious and too deep, something Joey knew was like the comet Halley: it happened once in a lifetime around her.

- "Why don’t you stop?"- she innocently asked, mostly ‘cos she had thought about stopping herself.

- "I don’t know, it’s like… you somehow got trapped in this machine, and it won’t stop working, and if you take a step back, it all collapses…-" he looked at his hands as he spoke, but Joey held them and smiled.

- "I don’t think anything is gonna collapse if you stop doing tour after tour for a while"- she whispered- "There are more important things in life than concerts, you know."

- "Name one"- he said and looked into her eyes.

- "Your kids"

- "Nailed it"- and Joey burst out laughing- "It was too easy!"

- "Exactly, nothing is more important than the ones we love, so shut the fuck up and man up! ask for a break every once in a while, ‘cos this leg of the tour, I must say, has been misery for all of us."

- "I know!"- Frank gesticulated in the most Jersey Italian way that always made Joey laugh- "It’s been hell!"

- "The only good thing of it all, other than the money, I mean"- she said and chuckled- "It’s the fact I can call you my friend."

- "Awww, Iceland. You could have called me your friend from day one, even when I hated the guts out of you."

- "Why did you hate me, by the way?"

- "‘Cos I wanted to do you so bad I didn’t want you in the band"- Frank simply answered, and the drummer raised an eyebrow.

- "Are you joking?"- by her face, Iero could tell the comment hadn’t been the best he had done.

- "Of course, I am!!"- no, he wasn’t- "I just didn’t want to make a circus out of the fact you are a girl. I knew people would start making up stories, and Jamia would be nervous and jealous because of you… having a woman in the band back then meant a mess I didn’t want to deal with."

- "And why did you change your mind?"

- "Mikey forced me"- Joey nodded, and Frank smiled- "And Jamia was really into you from day one. She loved the idea of adding a girl into the tour ‘cos there weren’t enough women in rock… but mostly ‘cos I told her your boyfriend was the hot guy from Criminal Minds, and I swear, she nearly yelled. She wanted me to friend you so she could meet him."

- "I’m in this band ‘cos your wife thinks my soon to be husband is hot?"- and Frank nodded- "I owe Jamia more than I thought I would. Maybe I can send her a picture of Matthew naked"- Frank raised an eyebrow as Joey smiled- "You know she is gonna love those."

- "But he is so tall… he is gonna make me look bad"- he joked, and Joey laughed like she hadn’t laugh that whole day.

- "Of course, he is. But in your defense… he could make every single fucking man on earth look bad. Have you seen his feet?"

- "Joey!! Shut up!!!"

Matthew woke up on his bed, his head killing him and a complete blur of what his night had been. He just sat and scratched his head.

- “What time is it?... wait, how did I get home?... fuck!! What happened last night?!”

The young actor nearly jumped as he started to recap his birthday party. The cast from the movie had arranged a party in a local bar, he was really happy about it, though he almost declined it. He was tired, but his co-star convinced him it was a great idea to go out, get to know everybody a little better, and start his birthday celebration.

- "Oh fuck"- he grunted- "My fucking head is killing me…"- he reached out for his phone and found it on his nightstand. He had a few unread messages from Joey

- “I love you Akumu!”- he smiled right away- “Remember to leave a bottle of water by your bed to keep you hydrated”- and he had indeed left one there- “Save some birthday belated celebration for my comeback in a few days.”

- "Honey!"- his mother’s voice took him from his head as he looked at his bedroom’s door

- "Mom! What are you doing here?"

- "Happy birthday, honey!!"- he stood up and walked over to hug her immediately.

- "Mom! Thank you so much for coming!"

- "I had to come, I have to give you something"- the actor frowned- "This came into the mail for you a few weeks ago, but I had to wait until today to give it to you"

Mrs. Gubler smiled as she gave her son a box. It was completely hand-drawn with jako lanterns, cute skulls, ghosts, and hearts.

- "What is this?"

- "A present that you got from very far away, or so it seems."

Matthew grabbed the box and sat on his bed to open it. Inside, there was a letter from his fiancé, a couple of gorgeous kimonos, Japanese books, art, a few Halloween shirts, and unmatching socks. Matthew was speechless, staring at the box. It was amazing.

- "I can’t believe this"

- "Joey sent it when she reached London, and we agreed I would bring it to you today."

- "Thank you"- he moved over and gave her a hug.

- "Don’t thank me for coming over on your birthday, honey. I love you, thank the girl at the other side of the world who gathered everything you might love and shipped it to you on your special day"- she kissed his cheeks and stood up-" I’m gonna make you breakfast, and you are gonna take a shower ‘cos you stick, are you still drunk?"

- "No mom"

- "Then call your wife! And thank her for the presents!"

- "Yes, mom!"

Matthew grabbed his phone, smiling, and dialed Joey’s number. It rang once. It rang twice. He was about to give up and try later when the girl picked up and smiled at the other side of the screen.

- "Birthday boy!"

- "Baby! You are amazing!"- he quickly said and laid back on his bed- "I just got my presents."

- "Did your mom give you the box?! did you like it?"

- "Hell yeah! It’s amazing, thank you"

- "Did you like the kimonos?"

- "They are the softest!"

- "I know!! I was in shock! You can hang them in the kimono closet!! So when you get home, you can get naked, grab a kimono and just relax!"

- "Are you gonna be naked under your kimono too?"- the girl giggled nervously.

- "That’s very likely"

- "I like that idea. Where are you?"

- "Backstage warming up, we are playing at eight… did you just wake up?"

- "Yeah…"- he whispered and closed his eyes.

- "You were fucking wasted last night."

- "I thought you didn’t notice"- he answered, chuckling, still feeling uneasy about his wild night out. It felt off. Probably ‘cos he was way too hungover.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, I’m gonna be your wife. I know when you are drunk, you can’t fool me even if you tried your best"- the actor laughed softly (laughing also hurt) and nodded at Joey- "Wait, the guys wanna say hello."

Matthew saw Mikey, Frank, and Ray appear and waved at the camera.

- "Happy birthday, dude!"- Ray said smiling- "How’s the hangover?"

- "Killing me!"

- "Save some liver for our party, man!"- Mikey said and waved too

- "Hope you have a great day!"- Frank added.

- "Thanks, guys!"- Matthew said and waved, yet his eyes were glued at Joey, who kept looking at him with a warm smile.

- "Where’s Gerard?"- Mikey asked and looked around. Gerard. Gubler frowned immediately. He hated him deeply, and he hated the fact Joey worked with him.

- "He was smoking outside"- Frank answered and waved again at the screen- "See you, Gubler!"

- "Bye guys!"- the band walked away, and Joey was now again all alone- "Hey, gorgeous"

- "Hey, wild party beast. What are you doing for the rest of your birthday?"

- "I’m not leaving this bed"- Joey laughed and looked at him in silence for a couple of minutes.

- "I’m gonna be in that bed with you in twelve days, can you believe that?"

- "I’ve waited so long it seems to be an eternity, but at the same time, it feels like it’s gonna be tomorrow."

- "I know exactly how you feel."

- "Honey! breakfast!"- Matthew’s mother yelled from the kitchen, making the young man laugh.

- "I am ten years old again, or was that just a strong flashback?"

- "Go eat, I’ll play a show, and I’ll call you from the hotel, ok?"- he nodded and smiled.

- "I love you so much, Yami."

- "I love you more, Matthew Gray “birthday boy” Gubler. Talk to you in a couple of hours."

The actor hung down and sighed. He felt happy to know he had her in his life. That she was gonna be his wife. As he thought about it, he started going through some of the pictures from the night before. He remembered half of it, but it felt like he had fun.

- "Fuck!!"- he shouted and wide opened his eyes.

Maybe a little too much fun.

Matthew stared at the screen in shock. There was a picture of him kissing two girls at the same time. Two. Girls. Kissing. Him. At. The. Same. Fucking. Time. And it didn’t help when he noticed, one of those girls was his ex-girlfriend.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- he kept going through the party pictures, shots, laughter, his ex kissing him while they danced. Bunch of people, more people laughing, his ex and her friend kissing him again.

- "Fucking shit! What the fuck did I do?!"

Matthew’s heart was about to come out of his throat as he started deleting every single photo from his phone. Why were those there? Why did he do that? Who saw him? Where were those pictures now?

- "What the fuck did you do, mother fucker?! What else did you do?!"

Matthew couldn’t move. He just sat with the phone in his hands, thinking if he erased those pictures from his phone, it was like it never happened. But now it was in his mind, and he couldn’t stop the memories from coming back.

He was drunk and sad after talking with Joey. He had another shot and decided to go home, but his ex-girlfriend and one of her friends- part of the team of the movie he was filming- appeared and invited him to dance. Drunk Matthew didn’t seem to think it was a bad idea and joined them on the dancefloor. They danced, the girls started kissing. Gubler liked it and didn’t move away when they moved closer to him and started kissing with him too.

- "Oh fuck!!"- he wanted to kill himself.

But that wasn’t all. He wished it was, but it was all coming back now. His ex took him to the backroom.

- "No!"- Matthew yelled, widening his eyes- "No!"- he repeated, as his mother appeared running into his room.

- "Honey! What is it?! What happened?"

- "I fucked it up!"- he simply answered and didn’t move an inch

- "What are you talking about?"

- "Last night at the party… I ran into Annie, and she was with a friend and…"- the actor made a pause and scratched his head aggressively

- "Matthew?"

- "And they kissed me happy birthday…"

- "Matthew?"

- "And then… mom sorry, I can’t tell you this"- the young man tried to stand up, but his mother stopped him.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, what did you do last night?"

- "I made out with them, and Annie gave me a blowjob"- he covered his face with both hands, embarrassed and regretful. He felt sick, dirty, gross. He felt like an animal, like everything he had always hated, like a man who cheated.

He cheated. And he wasn’t going to be able to undo it or even forget it.

Matthew broke into tears quietly at first, but his sobbing grew bigger, sadder, and more desperate. He hated himself, he needed to find a way to forget about what had happened, but he couldn’t. Instead, the memories kept coming; Annie kneeled in front of him.

- "Mom… I fucked it up."

- "Yes"- she simply replied- "You did, and Joey is gonna find out, no matter if you don’t tell her."

- "How do you know? Maybe no one saw us"- the actor was in denial and desperate to find anything that could keep him from dealing with the truth- I might have just dreamt the whole thing, maybe it never happened

- "Matthew?"

- "Maybe I can forget about it. If I don’t remember it, then it never happened."

- "Matthew"

- "Mom, I can’t tell her!"- he nearly shouted, nervous and grossed out by himself.

- "I didn’t raise a liar or a cheater"- the young man looked at his mother with watered-up eyes.

- "How am I supposed to tell her something like this? she is gonna hate me! She is gonna break up with me, mom. I know her."

- "You have to take responsibility for the things you’ve done, Matthew. You said you wanted to marry her. You can’t start that commitment with a lie."

- "She is gonna hate me… fuck, I hate me…"

- "Well, you brought it to yourself, Matthew Gray, so you have to fix it."

Gubler took a long shower and cried half of it. He couldn’t believe what he had gotten into. Or why. What had gotten into him to get so drunk ‘till the point of letting his ex-girlfriend give him a blow job? That wasn’t him. He remembered he felt bad after talking with Joey. He knew he couldn’t stop thinking she was touring with Gerard and hated him. What if he had tried to make his move on her? What if she fell for him? She wouldn’t. But what if she did? They had been apart for so long. No, he trusted her with his life. She would never do such a thing.

Then why had he done it?

Matthew honestly wanted to kill himself. That’s how guilty he felt. He knew Joey was never going to forgive him, and he was considering not ever telling her. She was never going to find out if he didn’t confess. Maybe he could take it to the grave.

Mikey hugged Joey goodnight and watched her walk to her room. Gerard looked at them from the other side of the hallway. The girl waved at him, and he waved back.

- "Hey! What are you doing?"- Mikey asked his brother as he lazily walked over him, weary after the show.

- "I just wanted to know if you wanna hang out. James and Frank are locked in their rooms already. Maybe we can watch a movie or something. I don’t feel like being on my own for a while"- Mikey nodded at Gerard.

- "Sure, man. Let me take a shower, and I’ll be right there."

Originally, Gerard wanted to drag Joey along with his brother, ‘cos it seemed like the only way to hang out with her. But she had disappeared way too fast to make his move.

The girl took a shower, put on her pajamas, and dialed Matthew’s number. He didn’t reply.

- "Hangover man has to be hanging out with his mom"- the girl thought out loud and grabbed a book to kill time. He was going to call when he was ready to talk.

Was he?

Matthew saw his cell phone right and froze. His hands shook when he reached out to answer, and that’s when he realized he couldn’t. He wasn’t going to be able to lie to her. But he couldn’t tell her either. He was home alone. His mom was out, mainly to give him space to think and talk with Joey in private. But yet, Matthew didn’t know what to do or what to say.

- "Ok, she is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you are willing to do everything that’s in your power to keep her by your side"- he said and looked at his reflex in the mirror and then washed his face.

- "Akumu!"- Joey smiled as soon as he saw him- "How was breakfast?"

- "Chocolate chips hotcakes with a whipped cream smile on top, and lots of coffee."

- "Spoiled by your mother on your birthday, lucky man"- he smiled and felt a knot in his throat.

- “Fuck! this is going to be so hard!” And how was the show?"

- "It was good, not the finest though… we are all so fucking tired"- the girl laid on her bed and smiled at her boyfriend- "When I get home, I’m not leaving that bed Matthew Gray Gubler, I’m gonna spend every second there... sleeping."

- "I’m not planning on sleeping if you are in this bed"- he answered and felt his voice shake at the end of the sentence, guilt taking over him.

- "You are gonna have to let me sleep at least a day. I’m so fucking tired and jet-lagged all the time. This tour ruined my sleeping schedule"- Joey joked but frowned as she noticed her boyfriend had tears falling from his eyes- "Akumu, what is it? Are you ok? Why are you crying?"

- "‘Cos I miss you"- he simply answered- "I miss you so fucking much! Can we just get married when you get here? I’ll pick you up at the airport, drive us to the nearest church, and we just get married right away"- the girl sighed with watered-up eyes herself as she stared at Gubler sobbing.

- "I miss you too… and I can’t wait to marry you either."

- "Can you promise me you’ll always be with me? No matter what?"

- "Matthew, I swear I’ll always be by your side"- the girl felt broken-hearted by the emotion in her fiancé’s words. She had never seen him so sad before, was it because she wasn’t there on his birthday?- "That is the main reason why I wanna marry you dorky, ‘cos I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, in one eternal Halloween"- Matthew smiled at those words and wiped off his tears.

- "Sorry, I’m just a little emotional… ‘cos I miss you, and I need you here."

- "I’m sorry I couldn’t be there."

- "No, Yami, don’t be sorry. You are working! And you are so awesome and incredible. I swear I don’t deserve you."

Matthew kept trying to stop crying, but it was harder than he thought. He was feeling so guilty, so low, the worst human on earth. And the girl on the other side of the world was just telling him she thought he was the best man amongst them all.

- "Yes, you do! You are an incredible man, hangover boy! I should be the one telling you how amazing you are, it’s your birthday! I want to make you feel happy all the time, please don’t be sad!"

- "I just need to see your face to be happy today"- he answered without hesitation and sighed- "You know what?"

- "What?"

- "I’m gonna tour with you."

- "What?"- Joey frowned and looked at how Matthew sat correctly on his bed and fixed his hair.

- "Yes, I will. I hate this. I hate being apart from you this long. So next couple of months, I’m gonna follow you wherever you go."

- "You’d do that for me?"- the girl widened her eyes

- "Joey, I would do anything for you"- Matthew made sure to pronounce every word as slowly as possible as he looked at her eyes- "So I’ll schedule plane tickets to be with you."

- "And your work?"

- "You are more important than my job. I can’t be like this anymore, we are gonna finish the movie in two weeks, and after that, my only job will be to clap after every song you play"- Joey smiled, feeling her heart swell with love, as a few more tears fell from her eyes.

- "You are making me so happy."

- "My plans for as long as I live exactly."

Mikey and Gerard were laid watching tv. Mikey kept surfing channels while Gerard sipped his diet coke and scrolled down his Twitter timeline. Neither of them felt like talking, pretty much ‘cos they were tired, and after being so many weeks stuck together, there wasn’t much new to say.

- "Weird!"- Mikey chuckled as they caught a Criminal Minds episode and Matthew as Spencer Reid appeared on screen- "I never thought I’d friend this guy."

- "Why did you do that? he is an asshole"- Gerard simply answered and kept his eyes stuck on the phone.

- "He’s not an asshole. He is hilarious. You’d like him if you met him."

- "Not interested"- Mikey frowned and kept surfing channels- "Wow, I thought you were going to watch your boyfriend’s show."

- "Wow, very mature, Gerard."

- "Sorry"- the singer knew he had crossed the line, mostly ‘cos he shouldn’t show how much he hated Matthew because…

- "Why do you hate him so much?"- because Mikey could start asking questions, and he didn’t want to talk.

- "I don’t hate him. He is not my friend, which is very different."

- "And Joey is not your friend either"- Mikey added- "You never talk to her."

- "She never talks to me"- Gerard added, and his voice betrayed him, showing some bitterness in his words.

- "Well, maybe because you didn’t want her in the band."

- "It’s been months. Get over it."

- "Now that I think about it, you are not even close to her at all…"

- "You are way too close to her, close enough for the two of us"- Gerard spit those words, still not looking at his brother.

- "What? Are you jealous or something?"

- "No!"- he snorted- "Why? Should I?"

- "I don’t know. You are being an asshole."

- "I’m just tired…"- Gerard came up with the worst excuse ever

- "Ok, if you are tired, I’ll leave you to sleep, dude, you are not what I call a pleasure to hang out with anyway"- Mikey stood up and walked to the door- "See you tomorrow at the plane."

Mikey left the room, and Gerard groaned, annoyed. He grabbed the remote control and surfed the channels until he found Criminal Minds again. He just wanted to see Matthew’s face to hate him even more.

- "What’s so special about this asshole? He is just a pretty boy, no talent, definitely no acting skills… He is tall. That’s all he has in his favor"- Gerard was arguing with the television out loud.

- "I mean… it’s clear he is not as smart as his character, and he ain’t funny either, shit! I bet he hasn’t done anything but this stupid tv show and those 3 minutes in the Wes Anderson movie."

Gerard opened google and searched for information about Matthew Gray Gubler, just to make sure he was a loser. He hated to know he wasn’t, though Gerard thought everything he had done had been pathetic so far. Everything but proposing Joey. And that was what Gerard hated the most. It was sick, and he knew it, that obsession he had about that girl, the one he couldn’t have. He just couldn’t take the idea of being with her out of his mind. Why? Was it because obviously, she didn’t want him? Many girls hadn’t wanted him before. Why was this one killing him slowly?

- "Oh fuck!"- Gerard nearly shook with his coke when he saw a picture of Matthew’s birthday- "Oh man!! I knew you were too good for my girl!!"- Gerard wanted to jump when he saw a picture of Matthew making out with a girl and the comment: “Matthew Gray Gubler birthday, 2011”.

- "You are going down!!"

::: Munich, March 10th, 2011 :::

Ray and Joey walked out of a Krispy Kremes at the airport, waiting for their flight to Valencia, holding a huge box of freshly made donuts. Joey was in heaven, and Ray was laughing at how excited she was about coffee and sugar.

- "Touring with you and Mikey together has been the best training to be a dad one day"- the guitarist said, chuckling.

- "Are you planning on having babies, dad?"

- "Yeah, it’s something me and Christa have talked about a few times. I want to wait until life gets a little bit less… messy ‘cos I wanna be with her the whole way and enjoy our babies."

- "Oh, dad, you are so cute"- the girl pout and punched his arm- "I want babies too, but I don’t think it will happen soon."

- "Why?"

- "Well, ‘cos I guess I want to wait until I have a steady job first."

- "And what is this for you?"- Toro gesticulated.

- "I’m your drummer for the tour Ray. The tour will end at some point, though it seems endless right now, and I will have to look for another job. And what if I get another tour drummer job? I’m gonna have to travel again. When am I going to be home with my husband to make and raise a baby?"

- "Well… after the tour you could be our studio drummer too, and you can stay in Los Angeles with Matthew and start making babies"- the girl chuckled at those words, though she liked the idea- "You should name your firstborn Ray though, I’ll put that in the contract"- both of them laughed and reached their gate.

- "Kids! Sugar!"- Joey’s smile shone as she gave Frank and Mikey the donuts box.

Gerard looked at her and sighed, thinking he wanted to tell her what he knew about Matthew, but it hurt him to know how much damage it was going to mean for her

- "Hey, Gerard!"- she snapped her fingers in front of him- "This one has your name on it. I figured you’d like a cappuccino cream donut."

- "Thank you"- he felt his cheeks blushing as he held the donut and smiled at Joey- "Sugar low?"

- "Yeah, my body needs some fuel to work until we reach the next hotel, and I can sleep some more."

- "Why? You didn’t sleep well last night?"- Gerard bit his donut and stared at Joey’s cheek turning red.

- "No, I stayed up talking with Matthew until three am."

- "Wow… really? Everything ok?"- Gerard’s heart beat a little faster with those words. She wouldn’t be so happy if she knew what Gubler was doing behind her back. Or did she not care? No, it was more likely she had no idea.

- "Yeah, we just miss each other a lot, and it was his birthday. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, even on FaceTime."

- "His birthday!"- Gerard nodded- "Right, so he didn’t party or whatever?“Smooth dude, good”

- "He did, the night before with some friends from work, he was kind of hungover"- Joey smiled again- "So last night was our moment to celebrate."

- "Dude, please. I don’t wanna picture you and Matthew having phone sex"- Frankie showed up and grabbed Joey’s coffee- "I mean, you, that I can imagine, but him… not so much."

- "Jersey!!"- the girl frowned and smacked him.

- "What?!"

- "Stop being disgusting!"- he chuckled, and she took her coffee back from his hands

- "We all knew what you meant when you said you “stayed up talking with Matthew until three am”- Iero air quoted and laughed again- "We’ve all been there, I’ve been there like three times in the latest weeks."

- "Come on!!!"- Joey smacked him again and walked away. Frank kept laughing for a few seconds and finished his donut.

- "Hey guys, come closer"- Gerard whispered as he noticed Joey had walked away, probably to the bathroom- "I need to tell you something."

- "What?"- Mikey raised an eyebrow as he moved closer ‘cos his brother had whispered.

- "Last night, I was on Twitter, and this picture of Gubler appeared… he… he cheated on Joey at his birthday party."

Gerard had prepared the speech to make sure no one would ever know he had been looking for information about Gubler and saved the picture as proof.

- "What the fuck?"- Mikey grabbed the phone from his brother’s hand and took a look at the picture.

- "Are you sure that’s him?"- Ray moved closer and took a long look at the picture.

- "Yeah! It’s him! He cheated on the party Joey told us he had with his friends"- Mikey was in shock. He walked away and closed his eyes, thinking about Joey and how she would take the news. Frank was so mad. He wanted to kill that guy. He also walked away and murmured curses for a minute straight. Ray couldn’t believe it, and his only concern at the moment was:

- "We have to tell her"

- "How can we tell her that?!"- Mikey pointed at the phone- "We are gonna break her!"

- "He broke her!"- Gerard argued- "He is the one who fucked it up! We are her friends, and we have to let her know what’s going on"- the band stayed quiet, neither of them knowing what to say.

- "Hey kids!"- Joey appeared suddenly smiling- "Why did you all get all serious? Did something happen?"

- "Yeah"- Gerard said, and Frank quickly interrupted him.

- "I ate the last donut and didn’t share it"- the girl raised an eyebrow.

- "Bullshit."

- "No, Gerard wanted it, and it seems I tend to hoard all the sweets…"- Joey frowned at that nonsense.

- "You do"- Mikey supported his lie flawlessly- "You always eat more than us!"

- "Ok… sure…"- Joey walked to a chair and looked at her phone. Mikey turned to his brother and punched his arm.

- "Not here! Don’t be an asshole! We wait until we are in the hotel! You can’t do this in public!"- Gerard felt like an ass. His brother was right. He was so desperate to end that relationship he wasn’t thinking straight.

He wanted to end a relationship that wasn’t even his. What had he turned into? A cold-blooded asshole who craved a girl so much, he was willing to ruin her life to get a chance to be with her?

Mikey was playing with his fingers nonstop. He just wanted to get out of the plane and avoid Joey for a long while. He was thankful the girl was sound asleep next to him ‘cos he knew he wouldn’t be able to pretend things were cool and peachy. Mikey knew he was a lousy liar. He wasn’t going to act like everything was good.

- "Hey"- Frank waved and pointed to the back of the plane. Mikey stood up and followed him, there Ray and Gerard were waiting for them.

- "What is it?"

- "We have to talk about what happened. When are we going to tell her?"- Gerard said, and the four of them looked at each other in silence for a few seconds- "I know it’s crap, but we can’t leave her in the dark about it… can we?"

- "No man"- Frank said and took a look around, scared the girl might see or hear them- "But… she is gonna be a mess, and I don’t wanna feel like we did this to her."

- "He did this to her"- Gerard quickly replied- "This whole shit is his fault."

- "Gubler should tell her"- Iero added. He didn’t feel like he could do such harm to her friend. He was going to harm Gubler, but not Joey.

- "He won’t do that, Frank"- Ray said- "But… I don’t want to be a cold bitch here, but we’ve got the Valencia show in two days, and that shit will be televised… if we tell her… and she wants to leave…"

- "Dude, we can’t wait that long"- Gerard interrupted him.

- "Why not?"- Ray asked, and Way didn’t reply. His honest answer was: “Because I wanna hold her tight and tell her “everything is gonna be ok” as soon as possible. And I also want to ruin Matthew’s life in the shortest notice”.

- "Because if she finds out that we knew and we didn’t tell her, we are gonna pay. She is gonna think we betrayed her"- Mikey answered instead of Gerard, ‘cos he had a reasonable answer.

- "You are right"- Ray nodded- "And that would be hell"- the four of them nodded.

- "So? Tonight?"- Frank asked- "We should get her something…"

- "Like what? Flowers?"- Gerard asked, confused.

- "Like alcohol, chocolate, chick flicks"- Mikey frowned at his brother- "So you never helped a friend when her boyfriend dumped her?"- and Gerard stayed still- "Wow, you can’t cease to amaze me."

- "I didn’t have many girlfriends back in the days"- Gerard explained.

- "Whatever…"

- "Ok, so after dinner, we go to her room"- Frank finished, and they all accepted- "Ok, now let me go to the bathroom ‘cos I need to take a piss, come on, move it."

Ray looked around his room and sighed. He had called Christa and told her what was going on. He felt responsible for Joey’s wellbeing, and at that moment, he was scared of what would happen. His wife was in shock. She couldn’t believe Matthew had done such a thing. She even doubted it was real.

- "Are you sure that the picture isn’t photoshopped?"

- "Yeah!"

- "Really?"- Ray doubted

- "Well, it looked very real to me"

- "Why don’t you ask him?"

- "Yes, honey! He is going to come clean right away!"

- "I mean it, baby! Maybe it wasn’t a party, maybe it was a scene from his coming up film out of context, maybe it was a bad angle."

- "Christa, the tongue of two women were liking him at the very same time unless he is doing porn, there is no way that’s from his upcoming movie!"- Ray made a point, and his wife’s silence made it clear. Now he was walking in circles, trying to set his mind straight. He had never done this before, and shit, he didn’t want to.

The guitarist grabbed the Pride and Prejudice blu ray he had gotten that afternoon and sighed. It was time. He walked out to the hall and into the elevator. Just outside of Joey’s room, he bumped into Mikey and Frank. One held a paper bag with some chocolates and candies, and the other, a whiskey bottle. Of course, the whiskey guy was Iero.

- "Should we wait for Gerard?"- Ray asked

- "Nah"- Frank knocked and waited- "He is always late."

- "And you are always so on time"- Mikey joked and chuckled.

- "Hey! Ready for that movie?"- Joey opened the door smiling- "Say hello to Matthew!!"- the girl flipped her phone, and her boyfriend waved at the band.

- "Hey guys"- but neither of them smiled at him.

- "We are gonna watch a movie"- Joey turned and walked back- "I’ll call you in a while, ok?"

- "Sure, Yami. I love you so much!"

- "I love you more!"

- "Have fun"- Joey hung down and looked at her friends, narrowing her eyes, upset- "What the fuck is your problem?"

- "Bug, we need to talk"- the knock on the door interrupted Mikey, but Frank walked over quickly and opened it.

- "We are starting. What did you bring?"- Gerard frowns at that questions

- "You weren’t kidding? We had to bring something? Like a birthday party?"

- "Shit, you are an asshole"- Frank just shook his head.

- "Mikey, Ray? What is it?"- the girl sat on her bed, leg crossed, as Mikey sat next to her and held her hand.

- "Turns out we’ve got some news for you."

- "Am I fired?"- she wide opened her eyes in shock- "I am, right? Fuck I knew this was gonna happen eventually."

- "No, Bug, you are not fired"- Ray sat next to Mikey and smiled- "We are more than happy to have you here, and we would love to have you with us forever."

- "Yeah, Iceland, you are one of us now. Deal with the fact you are doomed"- Frank said and moved closer to the girl to mess with her hair.

- "Then?"- she asked and looked at the four worried faces in front of her- "What is it? ‘Cos it seems serious."

None of them knew how to say it, though each of them had practiced it in front of the mirror. And Gerard, the one who was anxious to say it, suddenly felt the remorse of being the one to break it on Joey’s face. He knew it had to happen, though. That didn’t make it less sad.

- "Joey, last night I found this picture of Gubler’s birthday party on Twitter"- the singer simply said and gave her his phone.

Mikey closed his eyes, and Frank looked down. Neither of them was able to face the girl at the moment. Joey just stared at the screen in silence for at least a minute, holding her breath. There he was, Matthew. Cheating. What she thought was impossible happened. And the most profound pain she could feel took over her body second by second.

Her world fell down. She couldn’t believe it. Matthew was kissing his ex-girlfriend. She recognized her right away, the other girl, she had no idea who she was.

He betrayed her trust. He destroyed her heart, she could feel it breaking inside her chest, with deep aching pain, and it didn’t let her breathe. She wanted everybody out of the room to cry alone. She wanted to smash Gerard’s phone against the wall. And most of all, she wanted to find an explanation, maybe an excuse for that fucking image. It was to be a lie. Matthew would never do that. Never. Thoughts kept rolling down her head. It was a lie. It had to be. Maybe a fan photoshopped it. Perhaps it was old. Maybe it wasn’t Gubs, just a lookalike.

- "Joey…"- Mikey whispered- "Are you ok?"

- "Is that the only picture you saw?"- the girl asked with a cold tone in her voice.

- "No"- Gerard murmured and frowned as he noticed the lack of emotion in Joey’s face

- "Can you send me the pictures, please?"- her voice was turning shaky while she made an effort to stay calm.

Joey hated to cry, and overall, she hated to cry in front of people. She hated when people pitied her, and at the moment, it was all she was feeling coming from her friends. Pity.

-  "Bug, it is ok to be sad"- Mikey said and held her hand tight.

- "I’m not sad, I’m mad"- her eyes were filled with tears she refused to cry. Her jaws felt tight. She didn’t even want to talk anymore.

- "Hey, we are here- Ray kneeled in front of Joey and tucked away some of her hair that was falling on her face. He kept his brown eyes in hers, locked, trying to read her reaction. He realized how much she was trying to hold back. He knew his friend pretty well, and he could tell how embarrassed she was to share this with everybody. So he whispered:

- "Joey, do you want to be alone for a little while?"- and she quickly nodded, biting the inside of her cheeks.

- "Dude, we can’t leave her alone!"- Gerard immediately said and hit his friend’s arm. But Ray didn’t leave Joey’s eyes, not even for a second, and she did the same.

- "No, she is going to be ok, we are going to leave her alone for a while, and I am going to take her key, is that ok, Joey?"- the girl nodded again- "Ok, so I’ll take your key. I’ll come back in an hour to see if you need anything, ok?"

Joey couldn’t even say a word, so she nodded one last time and looked at Ray stand up.

- "Dude? What the fuck?"- Gerard was in shock, but Mikey understood immediately what Ray was doing.

- "I love you"- the youngest Way whispered and kissed Joey’s cheek. She got even tenser at his touch. She felt she was going to break into tears if anyone else touched her. So she refused to hug anybody.

- "Bug, if you need a drink, I left your favorite whiskey on the table… I’ll stop by later to have a shot with you, ok?"- Frank whispered and cut her a short smile. She nodded and watched them walk away. Gerard didn’t want to move, he took a few steps closer and opened his arms, but Joey quickly moved from him and frowned, like a frightened cat trying to escape from everything and everybody.

- "Gerard, leave her, she is ok"- Ray grabbed Gerard’s arm and pushed him- "I’ll come back in an hour, Bug"- the girl watched them walking to the door, Gerard kept looking back at her, concerned and scared she wasn’t going to be ok on her own.

- "Dude, this is wrong"- he argued the second they closed the door- "We can’t leave her there! It’s not safe!"- and just then, Joey’s yells crying froze the four of them- "Give me the key!"- Gerard argued and tried to take it from Ray’s pocket.

- "No! She needs to be on her own! She needs to cry, and she is never going to cry in front of us!"

- "What the fuck do you know?"- the singer questioned obfuscated.

- "Calm down, Gee. Ray is right"- Mikey said and sighed- "Joey needs to be alone, she ain’t going to kill herself, she just needs to yell and cry, and probably call that mother fucker and break up with him."

- "Yeah, come on"- Frank tapped on Gerard’s back and started walking- "Let’s get a beer, smoke a cigarette, and we can come back in a while. Ray has the key, so we know she won’t lock herself alone."

Gerard hated his friends at that moment. He had to be there for her, hold her, kiss her, console her. What the fuck was he doing with those guys? She needed him. He had to be with her. Why were they doing this?

- "So you don’t care?"- Gerard squabbled, and Mikey simply sighed.

- "You don’t know how she is like…"- and his brother’s words were enough to insult Gerard and shut him up.

Joey was on her knees on the floor, crying. Gasping for air every few seconds and feeling how every tear in her body came out at the same time. There was a void in her chest, right where it used to be her heart. Matthew Gray Gubler broke her heart. He broke her. All the fears she had locked inside ‘cos Matthew made her trust were now out again, and a voice in the back of her head kept telling her, “You knew this was going to happen if you were stupid enough to trust someone.”

But he was so good for her. How could he do that? Was it something she had done? Was it because she wasn’t there? You can’t be stuck with somebody to keep them from cheating. You don’t cheat. If you are not happy, you break up.

Joey felt sick in her stomach and had to rush to the bathroom. She puked crying, she couldn’t stop doing either of them. She kept choking with tears as she vomited. Until it was done. She flushed and stayed there, on the bathroom floor, crying and shaking in sadness. In fear. In disappointment.

What was she going to do? She had to break up with him. She couldn’t marry a cheater, and she wasn’t going to trust him ever again. Two fucking girls at the same time. What if he had done it before and got caught just now? For how long had he been doing that? What if she was seeing other girls regularly?

- "I knew this was going to happen. You don’t date a guy like that and expect him to be faithful…"- the girl whispered to herself, weeping- "He had nothing to do with a girl like me. Take a look at yourself, you dumb slut!"

Joey never said it out loud. She never let herself think about it. She refused to accept the fact she was weak. She had always hated herself. She felt she wasn’t worthy of anything good. All the years in the orphanage had left more than scars on her skin. They were also in her mind. You don’t spend years watching kids leaving with families and don’t convince yourself you are not good enough to be picked, to be happy. And when a family picks you up, you think it’s not you. It’s pity.

Sure, you can cover it up. You can be serious. You can stay away emotionally from people. You can find shelter in music and hide from the world in it. You can kick people’s ass when they hurt you or insult you. You can lie and say you are not “a people person,” whatever that means. But none of that can erase the fact that you feel alone, unwanted. Worthless.

- "I wanna call this mother fucker and fucking yell at him the kind of scumbag he is!!"- Frank said as he lit another cigarette and took a look at his watch- "She has been alone for half an hour, do you think she is ok?"

- "Of course, she is not ok, but she has to handle it. She is a grown woman"- Ray answered and sipped his beer.

- "I can’t believe he did this to her"- Mikey whispered- "She, of all the women I’ve known, doesn’t deserve to be treated like this."

A few tears filled his eyes, and he quickly wiped them off, lighting a cigarette too.

- "I’m gonna kill him, as soon as we get home, I’m gonna kill this mother fucker. I’ve got his fucking address, I’m gonna get there, and fucking break every bone in his body with my own hands"- Mikey was losing his cool. He stood up and walked around the hotel’s terrace, and looked at the city lighten in front of him. Frank stared at his friends and stood up too.

- "I’m with you, but we can’t be like this in front of her."

- "I know"- Mikey scratched his head and smoked in silence for a few seconds- "I’m not doing press tomorrow,"- he announced- "I’m staying with her all day long."

- "You can’t just…"- but Gerard’s words were lost in the air knowing his brother wasn’t asking, he was letting them know what he was doing.

- "Maybe we could take turns"- Frankie thought out loud- "You stay with her in the morning, Ray stays with her after lunch, and so on"- they all nodded. Gerard felt excited there was a chance he was going to get time alone with her.

- "Let’s see if she approves it first"- Ray said, and Mikey smiled for a second. He could picture Joey arguing she was ok, and him simply just staying with her, not taking no for an answer. She was going to be pissed.

- "Can we please check on her?"- Gerard tried to ask, but in real life, it sounded like he was begging- "I’m worried"- Ray sighed and took a look at his clock

- "Thirty more minutes"

- "Why at the hour?"- the eldest Way questioned

- "‘Cos she has to put her shit together before we come back, and she knows we’ll come back in an hour."

Joey walked around her room, holding a glass of whiskey. Her third glass of whiskey. Her phone was in her hand, and her finger was about to push “dial.”

- "You can do this"- she said to herself. She had cleaned her face, wiped off all the tears, combed her hair, and taken a long time calming herself down. More than anything, she didn’t want Matthew to see her cry. She couldn’t show any weakness to him.

She knew she would never be fully ready to do this, but if not now, when? So she dialed.

- "Hey Yami!! How’s the movie? Is it over yet?"- Matthew’s face filled the screen, and Joey needed a few seconds to put herself together again. His face was too much to handle. She still loved him too much to see him after what had just happened. Maybe FaceTime hadn’t been the best idea.

- "You cheated on me"- she managed to say. Matthew’s heart stopped- "It’s all over Twitter!!! You fucking cheated on me, and you just pretended it was all perfect??!"

Gubler sat on his couch and looked at his mom, who was next to him, reading. She slowly stood up and walked to the other room. He kept his eyes on Joey’s face and held his breath. Why did he think he could hide it from her? Now, what was he going to say? Was he going to deny it? Could he?

- "Yami, I..."

- "Don’t fucking Yami me, Matt"- she spit the last word with disdain, ‘cos she knew how much he hated being called that way- "You lied, you cheated, and you ruined everything!"

- "Joey, please, listen to me"- the young man stood up and started walking around the room, not knowing what to do or what to say.

- "What should I listen to? Do you think you can talk your way out of this?"- Matthew brushed his hand on his face and scratched his hair, confused and scared.

- "Joey, listen, I was drunk. It didn’t mean anything."

- "What? So being drunk is the perfect excuse for me to accept the fact your ex-girlfriend’s tongue was down your throat, and with another girl too? What the fuck?!"

- "Joey, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake!"

- "A “mistake”? How many “mistakes” have you made ever since I left? Tell me."

- "Please, Joey, listen to me. I was drunk, they started dancing, and they kissed me and…"

- "And you fucking took them home and fucked the two of them at the fucking same time. I can picture that very clear, the same fucking bed you said you wanted me to be in."

- "Joey! No!! That’s not what happened!"

- "Then enlighten me, Matthew. Tell me, what the fuck happened?"

Gubler sighed and bit his lips. He didn’t want to tell her, but he knew he had to. She was going to find out the truth one way or another. Maybe if he came clean with her, she would understand. He loved her. She knew that. It was a mistake, a horrible mistake, but it didn’t mean a thing, anything at all.

- "We were at the party, and you called… we talked, and I decided to go home."

- "Sure"- she interrupted sarcastically.

- "Listen, I wanted to go home ‘cos I missed you, but Mark found me and got me a couple of drinks. I was super drunk already when Ann appeared."

- "So you had invited her?"

- "No! No way! I had no idea she was there!"

- "But you got thrilled to see her."

- "I didn’t care! Joey, please, believe me. I was just drunk and stupid, but it didn’t mean a thing!"

- "You fucked her!!"

- "I didn’t fuck neither of them!"

- "There are pictures!! Pictures of you and her and… you were leaving together"

- "We didn’t fuck! Joey, I swear!!"

- "Sorry, but I can’t believe you! I can’t believe a word that’s coming from your lips!"

- "Joey, Yami, baby, love… I swear, I didn’t fuck with them"

- "Then what happened?"

Joey was severe and cold. She had managed not to cry so far, and that made her feel proud. She was devastated and nearly suicidal inside, but she wasn’t going to give Matthew the pleasure of seeing her destroyed because of him. Not that day.

- "Joey… nothing happened."

- "Matthew, if you are going to lie, and I discover that you did…"

- "Ann took me to the back room and decided she wanted to give me a birthday present, so she..." - Joey closed her eyes and threw the phone to the bed.

- "Hijo de la gran puta!! (son of a bitch!!)"- she managed to yell, losing it for a second.

- "It was just a blowjob. Nothing else happened, I swear, Joey! and I stopped her!"- Matthew broke in tears as Joey walked around the room, poured herself another whiskey, and looked at the phone still on her bed.

- "Just a blowjob??! Just a blowjob, Matthew?? Do you fucking believe that shit??"

- "Joey, it meant nothing!!! I didn’t want to do it!!"

- "Bullshit!!"- Joey grabbed the phone again and cut him a look so full of hate Matthew knew he was losing her second by second.

- "Yami, please, I hate myself too, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to undo this!! I was too drunk! I thought it was you, and when I saw her, I stopped it"- Joey scoffed and bit her lips to stop the tears- "I regret everything that happened, it was stupid, and it meant nothing, I fucking love you, Joey, you are my bride! you are my love and my whole life!"

- "No"- she quickly replied.

- "Joey, please."

- "No, Matthew. I am not your bride, and I am not your life, not anymore. I am merely the girl you fucking broke and lied to."

- "Please, please try to understand, it wasn’t me, it was a mistake! I didn’t mean it!!"

- "But it happened, Matthew, and that’s it. You can’t undo it."

- "Please, please! you have to forgive me."

- "Why should I forgive you, Matthew? ‘Cos I love you? Is that enough?"- the girl stopped talking, ‘cos her eyes were filled with tears, and she was still making her best not to cry in front of him. But it was getting too hard. Nearly impossible.

- "Joey, please don’t leave me"- the boy begged, his voice as a whisper at the other side of the line. He was crying like a baby, sobbing and walking around his house, not knowing what to do- "Yami, I need you"- every word that came from his lips cracked each of her already shattered heart into another tiny piece.

- "You should have thought of that before, shouldn’t you?"- the girl answered coldly- "You know how much it took me to trust you, Matthew, how much it took me to give you my heart, to you, for the very fucking first time in my life."

- "Please, please… give me another chance…"- he was sobbing, and Joey couldn’t hold it anymore. She broke into tears in front of him as well.

He looked at her, still thinking there was a chance she could forgive him. He didn’t mean to hurt her. It was a mistake. He loved her. She knew it. What did he have to do to change her mind? To keep her by his side.

- "No"- Joey answered, whimpering- "There are no second chances, Matthew."

- "Please, Joey, I am so so so sorry!"

- "Being sorry doesn’t fix anything."

- "I love you"

- "You didn’t care about that when she sucked your dick, did you?"- Joey managed to say, drying the tears from her eyes- "You just fucking enjoyed it, and fucked with my feelings, ‘cos I wasn’t supposed to know."

- "I love you so much"

- "So what?"- she simply answered- "So I should forgive you ‘cos you love me?"

- "I’d do anything for you."

- "You should have started by not cheating."

Joey took a deep breath and looked at Gubler sobbing at the other side of the line, desperate, honestly desperate

- "Bye, Matthew."

- "No, Joey! Wait! Don’t!"

But that was all Joey could handle. She threw the phone back to her bed and fell on the floor, crying her eyes out again. It was too much for her; she wasn’t going to make this alive. Joey loved him so much, but Matthew had damaged her to the edge of sanity. She was proud she had managed the situation mostly cold-headed. She wanted him. She wanted to forgive him so badly. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t going to believe him ever again.

- "Bug?"- Ray opened the door and found her lying on the bed. Mikey ran to her and held her. She wasn’t crying anymore. She looked in shock. He almost broke into tears next to her, not knowing what to do. She merely blinked. She wasn’t talking. She just laid there, curl up, almost lifeless. Barely alive.

Mikey hugged her tight, lying next to her, trying to keep her warm, ‘cos she kept shaking. Frank wiped off the tears from his eyes as he turned around and poured himself a whiskey.

Gerard looked at the scene from a safe distance while Ray tried to talk to Joey, and Frank started drinking, trying not to show how insanely angry he was. Gerard felt like shit. He didn’t think it would affect him so much. But suddenly, he was feeling guilty. Honestly and deeply guilty. He was the one who found out. He was the one who was eager to tell her. He was the one who told her. And an hour ago, he was excited about it, ‘cos it meant she wasn’t going to be with Matthew anymore. But he was so selfish he never stopped himself from thinking what was going to happen to her. How it was going to affect her. And Gerard felt now like a monster.

- "I’m ok kids"- Joey whispered and cut Ray a slight smile- "I’m just tired."

- "Do you want something to eat?"- he asked, but she shook her head- "I’m gonna leave these chocolates here, ok?"

- "Thank you…"- Mikey kissed the top of her head and snuggled her closer. Her phone kept ringing on the floor. Frank quickly grabbed it. It already had five missing calls from Matthew.

- "This mother fucker is gonna…"

- "Please don’t"- but Joey’s words were useless, Frank picked up, ignoring her.

- "Joey!"- Gubler yelled at the other side of the line.

- "Don’t you fucking dare calling her again!!"- Frank yelled with hate- "You are not getting close to her. You are not talking to her. You are dead! Heard me? You are dead to her, and if you fucking get close to her, I am gonna fucking kill you, heard me? I’m gonna kill you!!"

Frank didn’t even let him reply. He hung down and turned off the phone.

- "Why did you do that?"- Joey whispered and took a deep breath.

- "I’m not gonna let that guy hurt you again"- Frank murmured as he kneeled by the bed and kissed her temple sweetly- "Never, I’m not gonna let him make you cry or break your heart again, ok?"

Frank’s words were so full of honesty and emotion, even his voice shook. Tears fell from his eyes, and Joey stared at him in shock. He cared that much for her. It was shocking to realize how much they all cared for her.

- "Thank you, Frank"- he smiled

- "Hey, whatever you need"- he smiled shyly- "Now make room"- the girl and Mikey moved, as Frank crawled on the bed next to her. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head as Mikey laid at the other side of her, still cuddling her.

Gerard stared at the scene and wondered how they could just do that, it was what he wanted to do, but he could not move from where he was standing.

- "Wanna watch a movie?"- Ray grabbed the remote control- "Let’s see what we can find"- he knew Pride and Prejudice wasn’t right for the moment, so he tried to find the most random movie he could in pay per view. Die Hard was the chosen one. He and Gerard laid on the bed with the others and didn’t say another word. The girl wanted to be alone, but she knew they weren’t going to let her. It felt good in a way, knowing they cared about her and wanted to be with her at that dark moment.

Matthew was crying, sitting on his bed. He didn’t seem to be able to stop the tears from falling. He held the phone and dialed over and over again. It was off. The wedding was off. His whole life was off at that point. He had made the biggest mistake, and now he knew he couldn’t fix it. But he had to. He wanted to.

- "Yami, please, I’m so sorry"- he talked with her voicemail- "I need you to forgive me, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t want to, it was a mistake"- the call ended, he dialed again- "Yami, I can’t live without you, I can’t, I swear, please, I’m so sorry, I’d do anything you want, anything, but please, please"- the call ended, he dialed again- "Please… Joey, I love you so much, I need you so much, I..."

- "Honey"- his mother whispered as she walked into his room and found him weeping on the phone.

- "She left me, mom"- he whispered and felt her arms around him- "She broke up with me"- he couldn’t say another word ‘cos the tears, and the sobbing didn’t let him talk. His mother kissed his temple and hugged him tightly.

- "You are gonna fix this, baby. It’s gonna be ok."

- "How?"- he managed to murmur.

- "She loves you so much, she is going to forgive you. I know she will."

- "I hurt her mom. She doesn’t deserve this... I don’t deserve her… she is an angel, and I ruined it"- Matthew couldn’t say another word. He just hid his head on his mother’s neck and cried.

Taglist

@all-tings-diego @worryd0ll