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#i am very open to different interpretations here
iguessitsjustme · 1 year
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I have not been able to stop thinking about this since episode 9 aired and I read an excellent insight into Pat’s character this morning by @wen-kexing-apologist so I wanted to talk about Jeng because he is the character that I relate to the most. Granted, I am not a high level manager in my parent’s successful company, BUT I’ve worked office jobs and I’ve been in management positions and overseeing people. Please keep in mind that I am approaching Jeng as a white queer person who was raised (all over) the United States so I can only truly add the perspective that gives me. Also I wrote this while bored at work so I was definitely not nearly as articulate as I like, and this might not be anyone else’s interpretation and I completely understand if you do not agree with me here. With that said, here we go:
I am probably the most cishet passing person in the world. There’s no particular reason for this other than it’s just the way I am and how I like to present. I don’t risk my safety by presenting queer, I just don’t. I live in a big city, my family is incredibly supportive, my friends are queer, a good number of my coworkers are queer, I am not closeted. But people see me and they assume that I am straight. For the purposes of this post I'm focusing on sexual orientation rather than gender what I’m focusing on because my relationship with gender right now is basically the shrug emoji. Despite being out as bi since I was 24 many years ago, I still find myself constantly coming out to people because if I say nothing, assumptions are made about me and those assumptions are based on a heteronormative worldview that society has cursed us all to and those assumptions about me are wrong. 
Now let’s look at Jeng. I’m not gonna mention Pat because I fully believe that Pat’s response to learning Jeng is attracted to men was entirely based on his own repressed feelings and not entirely an assumption that Jeng is straight. Jeng passes as straight. I’m sure that’s due to a combination of his position, his family, and just his overall personality. We know that Jeng is out to people. He talks to his friend about Pat, Jaab asks him about his feelings towards Pat, and when he brings Pat home, Jeng’s parents see Pat and make some assumptions about what occurred. So a significant number of people in Jeng’s life know that he is gay and it’s not only a significant number that know but the people closest to him know as well. The other people that are able to clock Jeng in this show are the other queer people. Chot and Jen just know. They see how he looks at and interacts with Pat and can see the humongous crush that Jeng is nursing. So Jeng is working under the assumption that around these people, he is out. He might present straight and he might keep that up for work purposes, but he believes himself to be out to at least the other queer people near him.
Then Pat says this:
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And Jeng breaks. And I get that. Jeng knows that Pat is gay, Jeng thought that Pat knew he was gay. Jeng thought they were on the same page. Other queer people in Jeng’s life have known he was gay without him needing to explicitly state that. Pat, the person Jeng has been flirting with and has confessed to (while he was so drunk he couldn’t understand Jeng you beloved idiot) had no clue. At least that’s how it appears to Jeng, who is now in the unfortunate position of needing to out himself. Let me tell you something, it is exhausting to have to constantly come out to people. Every new person that I meet, if I want them to know that I am queer, I need to explicitly tell them because if I don’t, they will never know. I’ve had people think that I’m just a really good ally before. There are times I wish I was so entirely and visibly queer that no one would ever doubt it, and I’m sure Jeng felt that in this moment with Pat. It just takes one look at his face during this scene to know that Jeng has been here before and he is tired and his heart is breaking.
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How many people do you think Jeng has had to make a choice between outing himself or letting them work with false assumptions regarding his sexuality? How many times has Jeng chosen to closet himself instead of being who he is? How many times has Jeng been interested in another man but had no chance because that person didn’t know or care to believe he is gay? Just needing to make the decision on whether or not to explicitly say, “Yes, I like men” or “I’m gay” is tiring in and of itself, but then the actual saying of the words? Depleting. Especially to someone who you thought already knew. It hurts when people think I’m just a really good ally. I can’t imagine the pain Jeng felt at Pat’s surprise because to Jeng, that surprise indicated that Pat saw him as a good ally (again, I do not think that’s what was going on with Pat but this is about Jeng and his interpretation) and not as someone with interest in him.
Then Jeng learns later on that Pat just doesn’t understand how someone like Jeng can like him. It doesn’t make sense to Pat. How many times has Jeng been made to feel like his sexuality, coming from him, doesn’t make sense? I’m sure his dad had some things to say about it. I’m sure part of the reason he left previously was due to that. So while Jeng is out, it is a constant coming out process and then an entire new process to get people to believe it. Jeng’s sadness is mostly about Pat rejecting him, but I’m sure at least a small part of it is also the tiny piece of him that was so sure that Pat at least knew he was gay.
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Jeng now believes that Pat has only ever seen him as his straight boss and that can’t change. Pat sees him as a coworker, not even a friend, not even a member of the queer community. Just a coworker and nothing more. The revelation that Jeng likes and is attracted to men, made Pat uncomfortable. Is it because Jeng doesn’t obviously present as gay? Is it because he isn’t as clockable as someone like Chot? Now Jeng has to think of not only all of his interactions with Pat, but also all of his interactions with the other queer people in his office. Does he have to come out to them too or do they already know like he thought they did? Jeng was so busy being the most smitten man in the universe, it didn’t occur to him that his giant, massive, all-consuming crush on Pat might not have been obvious. I’m guessing the straight people in his office have been working under the assumption that he is straight. Will he need to come out to them too? He has been handling this for who knows how long, but this time, this time it HURTS.
Jeng was so worried about crossing the boundaries by being Pat’s boss that he didn’t even think about how dating a man would impact his worker’s perception of him. I don’t think he ultimately cares about what they think of his personal life or his personality as long as they are able to function as a department. But when Pat asked if he liked men, Jeng had to start reevaluating everything. Not just his interactions with Pat, but his interactions with the world. No wonder he seemed so just completely and utterly tired this episode. When Jeng and Pat finally work through their little miscommunication issues (which makes so much sense and work so well with this show I can’t even begin to describe my actual love for it which is weird cause miscommunication is my least favorite trope), I don’t think Jeng will actually change anything about the way he presents himself to the world. He still has his family to think about, and he’s still, well, he’s still Jeng. But I think this gave him some things to think about himself that he probably already knew but didn’t think he would have to explain to another queer person. Especially not Pat. Pat is out at the office, but it wasn’t entirely his choice. Pat outed himself so he would stop getting put in awkward conversations about the women in the office. Jeng might have seen something similar to himself in Pat. Pat could potentially pass as straight, and in fact did at the very beginning. He let people think he was dating a woman. Pat was careful who he came out to at the office. Jeng probably thought that of all people, Pat would understand him the best. Not explicitly out, but not in the closet either. How heartbreaking for both of them that their experiences clashed in such a way. But once those two get on the same page? They are gonna be the cutest couple in the entire world and I am so excited to see Jeng, finally, finally, be able to express his love for Pat to Pat as much as he wants to.
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storyweaverofgondor · 2 years
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I want to join a discussion to of my mutuals are having about a media i love because A) this is something i really love B) the two people discussing are really great and nice and i know they won’t dismiss me outright and will actually listen when i ask questions about the points they’ve made C) this is a subject i’m reasonably confident about since i’m been studying the subject pretty intently for almost three years for a project I’m working on.
The problem is . . . every other time I’ve tried to join a semi-serious conversation on Tumblr before the other people involved have steamrolled and refused to actually listen to anything i say, instead turning it into an argument. I am A) afraid of bringing the energy of ‘Please don’t hit me for disagreeing!’ into their discussion and B) they haven’t invited me so i don’t know if I’m welcome to join.
But again this is one of my favorite subjects and two of my favorite people and i want to join!
Man, unresolved trauma from fandom drama STINKS!
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aeyumicore · 2 months
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please & thank you
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━ .ᐟ✧ PAIRING: sylus x female reader (afab)
━ ✧.˖ GENRE: smut, porn with very little/no plot, porn with feelings
━ .ᐟ✧ WORD COUNT: 7.5k
━ ✧.˖ WARNINGS: mdni, explicit sexual content, SLIGHT spoilers to the lore (with some of my own interpretations and theories), oral m!receiving, fingering f!receiving, face/throat fucking, finger sucking, kinda rough, size difference, cuffing/tied up (m!receiving), sylus kindaaaa/degrading mean but in a tasteful way, he’s also very soft for reader, sylus has a FILTHY mouth, orgasm denial (f! and m!receiving), mirror sex, improper use of Evol, use of Y/N, cute petnames hehe (little dove, little bird, sweetheart, doll, etc), slight predator and prey, choking (kinda breath play??? not really), some references to lore (main storyline + midnight stealth), kinda sub!reader, dom!sylus, THIS IS FILTHY YALL IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY
━ .ᐟ✧ LINKS: ao3
━ ✧.˖ A/N: hi guyssss she is here <3 MY FIRST ever sylus fic, first of many me thinks bc i am so utterly infatuated w him im sorry zayne LOL
i did NOT end up making this connected to ‘midnight stealth’ OR ‘no defense zone’ (although some midnight stealth plot is referenced a tiny bit in the beginning). any resemblances to these two memories are purely coincidental, mostly similar because there’s use of cuffs/restraints in all three. this is purely a standalone filthy fic
this has veryyyy little plot, i decided to keep it that way so im sorry to those who wanted to see plot in this ;_; i didn’t want to burn out, which i likely would’ve because pivoting from what i had (5.6k words) to a more plot based fic would have taken me a few more days and probably double the words and i just couldn’t do that to myself. 
i appreciate you guys for supporting me and i really respect each and every opinion so i hope i didn’t let anyone down by not doing the plot version. there will be plenty of opportunities for that i promise <3
pls enjoy :) any comments or reblogs r greatly appreciated (and loved) by me <3 they help me keep motivated to keep writing and truly make my whole week.
THIS IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT. I WILL NEVER POST MY FICS ON OTHER TUMBLR BLOGS. I WILL ONLY POST ON THIS ACCOUNT AND ON AO3.
✦ . ˖ ✧ .ᐟ ˖ nsfw | minors dni | 18+ only | minors dni | nsfw ✦ . ˖ ✧ .ᐟ ˖ .
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You were playing with fire.
Actually, what you were doing was definitely more dangerous and infinitely more idiotic than playing with fire. 
It was downright deranged. 
It appeared the silver haired man beneath you agreed, his jaw ticking dangerously as his deep crimson eyes crinkled in warning, “Are you sure this is a game you want to play?” 
You knew the answer was definitely no. But the mere glimpse of the Onychinus leader beneath you, at your mercy, was enough to make you push through the thrilling fear coursing through your veins.
With Sylus’s chiseled body unwillingly sprawled out before you, you situated yourself in between his thighs. Though his words and expression were laced with a cautionary edge, his legs spread open for you. 
His wrists were bound with the two silver cuffs you’d purchased at a novelty store on girls day out with Tara, each hand simultaneously locked to the steel beams of your bed’s headboard. With his arms bound above his head, his button up shirt rode up to expose his pale and scarred skin and the defined outlines of the chiseled pelvic muscles that lead to his manhood.
It wasn’t a stretch to say you’d planned this, after all you did buy the cuffs with Sylus in mind. And you’d never forget what Luke and Kieran had told you, in what felt like a lifetime ago. 
“Boss is most vulnerable when he’s sleeping.” 
Except now you weren’t binding him for the purpose of incapacitating him to find that damned brooch he’d taunted you with. Now, when he’d dozed off after you’d forced him to marathon the Harry Potter series with you, you tied him up with only one goal in mind.
Well maybe two. To tease and to punish.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you watch the way Sylus’s naval rises and falls irregularly, a subtle sign of his boiling anticipation. His exposed pelvis is dusted in a faint path of hair, trailing to where his pants hang dangerously low on his hips, after you’d taken his belt off. 
Sylus watches you with a careful eye as your hands find his waistband, tugging his bottoms and his boxers down in one motion. He tuts disapprovingly, even as his body lifts every so slightly to assist you in undressing him, “I’ve already warned you once. I won’t warn you again.” 
And yet, there’s an undeniable amusement in his voice that lets you know it’s safe to keep going. Your eye contact never breaks as you tug his clothing all the way down, until they rest at his ankles. His hardening cock springs free as you do so, the thick mushroom head already leaking a shiny streak of precum. As it slaps against his abdomen, Sylus’s carmine irises darken, but he refuses to make any sounds. The screech of steel rattling against steel is loud in the tense air, the formidable man’s fists clenched so tightly his nails threaten to break his skin. 
You bend down slowly, torturously languid, until his masculine scent invades your senses. You shiver in pleasure, positively addicted to every part of him. Sylus’s stomach heaves as he curses you inwardly; you were the only devilish minx that could even fathom rendering him into this vulnerable state. The only person he’d ever allow to see him like this. 
“You’ve become quite bold, little bird. Perhaps I’ve been too lenient with you.”
His cocky attitude makes you want to shiver, but you find the strength to retort back, “Perhaps you have.”
Not wanting to give him a chance to respond, and a chance for you to lose your courage, you let your tongue run over the thick tip of his erection, collecting his arousal on your tongue. You make a show of savoring his taste, letting your eyes bat at him while you lick him clean. 
Sylus is hypnotized, crunching up to watch you. His wrists pull against the metal restraints, growing irritated with being held back. Of course, if he’d wanted to, he could snap the cuffs with a mere tick of his fingers, but he found it amusing to watch his mischievous little bird believe she had control. 
When you take his head fully into your lips, Sylus’s hips involuntarily buck up into the heaven that is your mouth. Though surprised, you do your best to accommodate the extra inches, tongue twirling around his leaking slit as your jaw unhinges to take in his fat girth. 
“Fuck.” 
Sylus’s dark eyebrows are scrunched as he fights the urge to destroy the cuffs to get to you, wanting nothing more than to sink his fingers into your hair and push you down until you couldn’t breathe. But he prided himself as a man of patience, even if he despised being tested. 
And you were absolutely testing him. Your puffy lips caressed his sensitive veins, tongue assaulting every flaming nerve of his massive length, delicate and soft fingers leaving no inch of him untouched. Yet you moved so languidly. Deliberately testing how far you could push him, testing his resolve. Not that he would ever beg, but he desperately wished you’d move faster, take him deeper. 
“My love,” he purrs, deceptively calm even as your filthy tongue lathered his most sensitive parts, “I implore you to release me. While I’m still feeling generous.” 
Doing your best to shut him up, you take him into the back of your throat, fingers shifting from the base of his manhood to his heavyset balls. You’re only half successful in your antics, as you do cut off Sylus’s demands, only to be replaced by an inexplicable string of curses. The daunting leader of the Onychinus, whose name evoked fear itself to most, unraveled at your whims. A man who had no weaknesses, save for one.
You.
With his head thrown back, hair tousled and matted with a thin layer of sweat, he began to pant heavily. His neck bobbed deeply to the rhythm of his gasps, hands pulling against the restraints you’d locked him into. The sound of metal clashing against metal is almost deafening, your head snapping up to his arms bound above his head. 
For a second you’d feared he’d snapped the steel cuffs, his biceps rippling and forearm veins bulging with the sheer strength of his arms. But fortunately for you, his wrists were still firmly bound, a red angry circle forming where the metal met the pale skin of his hands. 
“Do you really think – hah – this will end well for you, dove?” Sylus considers this your very last warning, crunching up once again to watch you, your mouth full of his cock, saliva dribbling down your chin as you try to accommodate his thickness. He swears under his breath at the sight of you, his woman, the only person he’d ever even consider letting his guard down around, pleasuring him so sweetly and enthusiastically. Even if you were so foolish that you thought you could get away with typing him up. 
You look up innocently at him, fluttering your eyelashes as you fuck him with your mouth. Though you let him hit the back of your throat every time, your rhythm is intentionally and torturously slow, edging him without making it obvious enough for punishment. And although each intentional motion elicits the most mind numbing grip from your gag reflex on his throbbing erection, he’s losing his mind from how much more he wants. How much more he needs. 
“Faster.”
You nearly choke as you giggle at his demands, releasing his cock with a resounding pop. Of course, even tied up, Sylus didn't use the word ‘please.’ The man of unthinkable power was absolutely used to getting what he wanted without even batting an eye. It was a habit that he rarely relented on, and when he did it was only for you. 
“What’s the magic word?”
Sylus glowered at you, jaw twitching dangerously as he did his best to hold himself back, “Watch it.” 
It was truly taking every ounce of willpower he had to not rip the cuffs off the steel beams of your bed, taking your headboard apart with it. All so he could have more.
“Sylus,” you pout, still using your hands to gingerly stroke him with a featherlike touch. Nothing intense enough to get him off. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you to say ‘please’ when asking for something?” You give him a pointed squeeze, thumb stroking the underside of his swollen head. 
He curses, pelvis thrusting up into your fist to try and chase the pleasure you’re withholding from him, “Fuck, if you’re going to act like a brat, I’m going to treat you like one.”
“I just want to hear the words ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Please. See how easy that is?”
“Y/N, my heart,” Sylus purrs lowly, eyes glinting dangerously, “I won’t tolerate any more disobedience.”
“Well then you don’t get what you want.” As soon as the words left your mouth you knew you’d regret them. 
Before you can even blink, you find yourself pressed firmly into the mattress, your head hanging off the side, hair dangling freely. The air feels strangely brisk, and you can vaguely feel your nipples hardening. It’s then you realize you’re naked. But you hadn’t felt Sylus lay a single finger on you.
His Evol.
You’d become so accustomed to Sylus’s Evol that you no longer felt its slightly suffocating  invisible web when it touched you, unlike when you’d first met him in the N109 zone. The countless times he’d use his Evol to guide your lips to his, your hand into his larger ones, or to undress you, had actually made you quite fond of the touch of his Evol. 
Little did you know that Sylus had actually been practicing lightening up the intensity of it, for you. He’d always detested seeing the uncomfortable scrunch of your eyebrows, the hostile goosebumps that would raise where his Evol touched you. So he’d absolved himself to train the claws of his Evol to soften, instead becoming that of a gentle caress. Only for you, of course. For everyone else, they got the skin-shredding talons that parents warned about in cautionary tales to their children. 
Hanging upside down, the glint of the ceiling light against the silver cuffs hanging off your headboard catches your eye, snapping you from your thoughts. The metal loops were still completely intact, but unlocked. Of course you knew he’d use his Evol to escape eventually, but it still surprised you how he managed to do it so effortlessly. Graceful in everything he did. 
You try to sit up, but Sylus’s hand wraps itself softly around your throat and holds you back down. He tsks scornfully, a playful warning in the swirling glowing cerise of his eyes. His grip is gentle enough where you can still speak normally. Rough enough where you want more.
So you pout childishly, “It’s just like you to use your Evol for such cheap tricks.” 
From beneath his towering frame, you can just barely see him raise his perfectly arched eyebrow. Most of him is obstructed by his massive erection pressed at your nose, menacingly imposing before you. “Cheap? Doll, there’s nothing cheap about me. And nothing cheap about the things I’m going to do to you.”
You shiver involuntarily at his threats, your thighs clenching together in anticipation. Sylus’s words were always harsh, but when it came to you there was always such a profound sincerity and gentleness behind his actions, even when he was brutally devouring your body. So the danger edged into his words only served to excite you, fueling the dampness that had formed between your legs. 
And of course, his perfect cock dangling in front of your lips, still glistening with a sheen of his arousal and your saliva. Hanging so closely to your waiting tongue, but never touching. That definitely did not help the throbbing ache in between your thighs. 
“I think you’ve had enough fun, don’t you agree?”
Feeling daringly bold, you playfully curse him, “Screw y–” But before you can finish getting the words out, Sylus grips your jaw, shoving himself into your waiting mouth. The force he uses is enough to make your eyes roll back, the feeling of being full of him making you forget what you’d wanted to say to begin with. You’re careful to pull back your teeth as he finds his way to one of his favorite places, the back of your throat. 
“Let’s give that mouth something to do, other than run itself, hmm?”
You groan in response, letting the vibrations of your throat speak for you. Sylus grunts, removing his hand from your throat and weaving it into your hair like he’d wanted to earlier. His grip is strong, just hard enough that you feel an immense pleasure from the stinging pull. With a firm hand on your scalp, he fucks into your face, his meticulously groomed hair brushing against your nose at every thrust. 
His speed and vigor is relentless, not that you’d complain even if you could. The feeling of Sylus driving in and out of your throat, like you were a fleshlight, had your body vibrating with need, clit throbbing in ecstasy. How you could feel this good just sucking his cock was beyond you. Your unrestrained moans were an absolute orchestra to his ears, the vibrations running through every nerve ending in his erection, causing him to release a string of his own sounds 
“You’re so – hah – exquisite like this, dove. Choking on my cock instead of your words.”
You whine at him, so unbelievably turned on by the filthy way he speaks to you. His skin slaps against your wet mouth, and an obscene amount of drool mixed with precum drips off your cheeks and onto the carpeted floor beneath you. You loll your tongue out to try and catch his copious dribbles of precum, not wanting to waste any part of him. 
“I can see my cock in your throat, sweetheart,” he cooed, using a hand to brush against your throat, where his erection bulges against your neck each time he fucks into you. 
Tears streamed from your eyes as Sylus’s pace increased, gripping onto your hair for even more leverage against your beautiful face. 
“Crying already? Not feeling so bold anymore, my love?” 
You ignore his patronizing words, trying to focus instead on your own pleasure. With one hand still gripping the hard muscles of his bubbly rear, your other hand wanders to the quivering area between your thighs, fiddling with the bundle of nerves that was slick with your arousal. You desperately seek to relieve some of the tension building up in your gut, all from just Sylus’s cock in your mouth.
But before you can give yourself any inkling of pleasure, you feel a familiar force of energy pulling your hand away. 
“I don’t recall giving you permission to touch yourself.”
You nearly sob at his words. You want to speak, plead with him to touch you, or at least let you touch yourself, pride be damned. But his unbelievable girth makes it impossible to do anything but devour him repeatedly.
The white haired man above you watches you carefully, swearing at how your tear soaked face makes his resolve to punish you crumble ever so slightly. Taking pity on you, he brings your hand to his, weaving his long fingers into yours. You hold his hand tightly, enjoying the way his much larger hand clasps into yours, fingers digging into your sensitive flesh.
“Good girl,” he coos in praise, voice tinged with a condescension that makes your skin crawl in excitement, “You don’t touch what’s mine, unless I say, hm?”
You look up at him with wide wet eyes, nodding obediently as he continues to ravage your face. He pressed your hand deeper into the mattress, his thrusts becoming so intense that you knew you’d have a hard time speaking tomorrow, your throat battered and bruised. 
From your position, you don’t see the glowing light that emanates from your joined fingers. But Sylus does, and he watches in a concealed wonder at the way you can so easily resonate with him now. You didn’t even need to try, a single touch was all it took. It was a testament to how much you’d grown to trust him. 
No, it was a testament to the deep love and respect you’d both come to hold for each other. You’d both definitely come a long way from when he’d captured, or when you let him capture, you at the N109 zone all that time ago. The thought of that threatens to make Sylus shiver as he continues to ram himself deep into your warm wet throat. He watched the way you took him so eagerly, hand gripping his for dear life, your other hand coming up to stroke his heavyset balls as they slapped against your face. The way your poor little throat bulged every time he thrusted into it, the bump so visible to his hungry crimson eyes.
Oh, how you ruined him. He’d fucking marry you.
Your jaw ached, having been open as widely as possible for far too long now, but you did your best to continue to take him. The feeling of him using your mouth was more than enough to keep you growing wetter, needing more. Your thighs squeezed together, as you rocked into nothing, wanting nothing more than to feel any friction between your legs.
Sylus watched as you pathetically tried to find pleasure in the empty air, nearly growling at how arousing the sight was. He was fueled with such an intense desire and love for you, nothing like he’d ever felt before. And that love and desire was enough for him to concede, if even just a little bit, for you.
“You’re lucky I’m feeling…charitable today, my dove,” he murmurs, releasing your hair and bending over your body. His erection never leaves your mouth, but he hovers so that your sight is filled with the view of his solid abdominal muscles. You cry out against his member when the familiar feel of his fingers finds your clit. You gasp out, choking on him, your hips jolting up eagerly to meet his torrid touch.
Sylus chuckles, a satisfied smirk making its way onto his unfairly gorgeous face, “Look at how eager you are…all this just from the taste of cock?”
Not able to respond, you hump up into his hand, squeezing your eyes shut in embarrassment of how desperate you were for him. Sylus only gives you a pointed thrust into your throat, making you gag deliciously around him again.
“Such an insatiable little bird,” he murmured, fingers expertly toying with you.
“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart,” his skilled ministrations never stopping, “I wish you could see how lovely you look with your mouth full.” 
Your eyes rolled back when he entered you, one finger at a time. He cursed at how tightly you gripped just one of his fingers. He had half a mind to just bury himself into your perfect cunt right then and there. And that’s just what he’d do. He was never used to not indulging in what he wanted, why stop now?
You felt the familiar shift in energy, a gentle hold on your body, until you found yourself laying on the middle of your bed, Sylus situated between your knees, fingers still toying with you. Your neck screaming in relief at the plush surface, mind reeling from the sudden shift. 
The white haired man bends to hover over you, free hand caressing your jaw, his frighteningly beautiful face before yours, “Hello, my love.”
Your voice is hoarse, sounding unfamiliar, “Hi.” It’s nothing more than a pitiful squeak.
Sylus chuckles, his chest rumbling warmly at your adorably vulnerable state, “How’s your throat?”
You glare at him, trying to steady your raspy voice, “Don’t patronize me.”
He smirks, not the least bit apologetic, but says, “Forgive me, love.” He doesn’t give you a chance to sass him further, instead bringing your chin up to his. His lips slot onto yours, deceptively slow at first and quickly progressing to a vigor that matched the way he’d rammed himself into your throat. 
The bruising intensity of the kiss made your mind muddle, your hands coming up to grasp his neck to ground you. You gasped at the feeling of his heartbeat pounding so forcefully in his neck. The familiar feeling of an earth shattering orgasm edges into your numbed mind, every heightened sense filled with Sylus and only Sylus.
You finally break away, propping yourself up on your elbows to watch him scissoring in and out of you, enough to have you on the brink of climaxing, “Sy-Sylus, I’m–”
Sylus reads you like the back of his hand, withdrawing his fingers and roughly grabbing your face to look up at him. You sob at the loss of friction, looking up at him with teary questioning eyes. 
The ceiling lights illuminate behind Sylus, forming a halo like ring atop his head. He was so hauntingly and terrifyingly beautiful. Not unlike that of a fallen angel, whose sole purpose was to ruin you. 
And just as you’re admiring him, Sylus looks down at you. Unbeknownst to you, he also considers you to be his very own angel sent from the heavens. Bringing light and salvation to the shadowed crevices of his soul.
But even then, he can’t help but tease you, the urge to see you ruined at his hand. An angel with tattered wings, so utterly spent with lust. “You don’t cum until I say, hm?” As if to punctuate his point, he puts his fingers, wet with your slick, in between your parted lips. The taste of you is strong on him, enough to distract you from Sylus, who’s lining up his more massive than ever erection with your weeping slit. 
“Come on, sweetheart. Suck. I know you can do better than that.”  
He presses his fingers harder onto your tongue, relishing in how warm you feel around him. At your adorable pouty glare, he pushes his leaking tip into you.
You yelp in surprise, biting down on his fingers in your mouth. Sylus hisses, but the pain only further arouses him, making him shove into you suddenly. Your hands come up to grasp his forearm, the veins bulging under your touch. 
The feeling of him entering you is so overwhelming, the only thing grounding you to the present was the way his fingers felt and tasted against your tongue. And so you devoured him in earnest, much to his satisfaction. 
It’s not long before he bottoms out, his head kisses your cervix, just enough to have your eyes rolling back, sparks of hot white pleasure clouding your vision. 
Sylus removes his fingers from your mouth, bringing his thumb to his own lips and brushing it across his parted mouth, his other fingers outstretched as he licks across his thick thumb. You whimper at the sight, so unbelievably seductive he has to be doing it on purpose. 
“You always taste divine.” His movements have all but halted completely, his thick girth just sitting inside of you, brushing against your womb. And even though the stretch is enough to practically compress your lungs, you want more. 
“D-Don’t tease Sylus,” you whine pathetically, “Fuck me.” 
The smile on his face is as cocky as ever, the corner of his lips curving up, as sharp as his edged jaw. 
“So bold. Do you really think you’re in any position to make demands?”
He gives you just one pointed thrust, cockhead nestling so deliciously into your sweetest spots, but stopping just at that. You cry out, fingers gripping the comforter so tightly your knuckles turn white. 
“If I recall correctly…someone once told me something about saying…what was it? ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’?”
He grins down at you, bending forward so that he hovers right over your face. He would never let you know but the pouty grimace on your lust glowing face was nearly enough to have him caving into your every whim, punishment forgotten in the wind. 
“Hm? So what do we say, sweetheart?”
With his cock situated so perfectly in you, it’s impossible for you to do anything but follow his every command, no matter how much it bruises your ego.
“P-Please?”
His smirk deepens, fingers cupping your chin up to face him, “You can do better than that, Y/N.”
You groan as he shifts, giving you just the tiniest bit of friction where it mattered. You do your best to find the confidence, “Please Sylus.”
There’s the faintest flicker of darkness in his eyes, a twitch of unraveling at the way you effortlessly purr his name. If you had any idea the things you did to him, the mighty and fearless leader of the Onychinus, it would be his absolute undoing. 
“Please what, my dove? Come on, use that beautiful voice of yours.”
Before you can let out your snarky response, his fingers travel to your neck, stroking your sensitive pulse gently before pressing down to compress your airway. 
“Or is this throat only good for taking my cock?”
You whine at his words, patience absolutely gone. You wrap your legs around his waist and force him closer. A pathetic attempt to get him to thrust into you. Your hands come up to the back of his neck, and your tear glistening eyes search his pleadingly. He’s taken aback by the sudden shift, a small gasp escaping his parted lips. In his surprise, he lets himself be guided to you, his forehead falling to lay atop yours, his breath fanning against your own. 
“Please Sylus, please fuck me. I’m sorry, I’ll be a good girl. Please.”
The curse that leaves Sylus’s voice is barely perceptible as he drinks you in. Your cheeks were still streaked with tears, your eyes wide and glassy. Your lips were puffy from his bruising kisses, and cheeks heated with desire. There was absolutely nothing in the universe that could match how utterly gorgeous you were. His gorgeous woman. His to ruin. 
His voice low with longing and hunger, “Fuck, okay love. I’ll give you what you want.”
He manipulates the energy around you, raising your arm above your hand. His slender fingers dance up your exposed skin, until they find your fingers. His nails graze your inflamed skin, fingers toying with yours. For a brief moment, he enjoys how much smaller your hand feels in his. His delicate little bird.
“Hold on tight.”
Your fingers grip his, your nails digging in when he finally pulls his cock out, leaving only his head still snuggly inside. Without giving you a second to breathe, he’s plummeting himself back into your sopping cunt. Your combined slick ensures there’s zero resistance, only the sounds of wet slaps filling the space between you. 
Sylus’s forehead still rests against yours, his free arm bent above your head, helping support him as he fucks you with a painfully delicious intensity. Your cunt milks him perfectly, the warmth far too inviting and the tightness much too constricting. His fingers grip yours forcefully, trying to offset the way your pussy tries to suck the living soul out of him. 
“Sy-Sylus,” you cry out, nails digging crescents into his skin, your other hand coming up to rake red scratches into his back, “Slow – ngh – slow down!” Your brain is a jumbled mess, confused at the words your tongue lets out when your body only wants more.
Sylus’s chuckle is low and almost sinister, his pace never relenting, “That’s funny. I recall you saying you’d be a good girl.” He shifts his weight to his knees, moving his palm to your naval, pressing down. You squeal at the feeling of his palm pressing into your stomach, your sensitive walls being compressed into his cock spearing in and out of you. 
“And good girls take what they’re given, hm?”  
Moans and whimpers are the only thing you’re capable of producing, his pace brutal, like he was trying to find his way into your throat from your cunt. You don’t notice his hand traveling further south until his thumb presses into your swollen clit, flicking hard. You screech, your back arching off the bed, giving him further access to your dripping cunt. 
“Answer me when I speak to you, sweetheart.” 
“Yes! Yes, I’m a good girl, I can take it!” you all but screamed, spine so arched you felt like you were levitating.
The erotic cries that leave your lips make it difficult for Sylus to think straight, so he doesn’t. He fucks you with a ferocity that was nothing short of animalistic, the only thing he can think of is how many different ways he can and will make you cum. 
He presses your joined palms deeper into the mattress, eyes searching yours desperately. For what, you were unsure. But as his scarlet irises bore into yours, you felt an overwhelming sense of emotion catch in your throat.
Propping yourself slightly on your elbows, you pressed your forehead to Sylus’s, his sweat dampened bangs fluttering against your eyelashes.You reach up to cup the back of his head, pulling him towards you. His right hand never leaves your clit, his left staying tightly clasped with yours.
He takes the opportunity to press his lips to yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth. You moan into him as he claims you fully, thrusts moving in tandem with his tongue. It’s a torrid clash of tongue and teeth, enough passion to have the Aether core in your heart throbbing dangerously erratically. 
“Syluuus,” you slur as you pull away to breathe, “I-I’m..I’m gon–” You can’t get the words out, the tip of his cock against your cervix and fingers on your clit bringing you into another dimension, one filled with him. The scent, the sound, the feel, the sight of him. 
“I know. Getting so goddamn tight,” he grits out, jaw locking as he tries to steady himself against your vice grip. Sylus was a man of boundless stamina and restraint, but when it came to you… When it came to the absolute heaven that was your body, he could hold nothing back. 
Just as you neared your orgasm, Sylus stops again. You find your body being moved again, but this time Sylus’s hands are lifting you, and not his Evol. His strong arms lift you so that you’re sitting on his lap, your back pressed against his muscled chest, and his back leaned up against the bed.
He does however use his Evol to drag over the gold arched full-length mirror you had propped up against the corner of your bedroom, so that it sits right in front of the bed. Your vision is filled with the gleaming reflection of you, naked on Sylus’s lap, his arrogant smirk right by the top of your head. His muscular arms are draped over your thighs, spreading open your glistening folds, fully exposing you before the mirror. 
“Sylus s-stop. It’s embarrassing,” you whine, averting your gaze at the lewd sight, and the even filthier sounds of his fingers against your copious slick. But he grips your jaw firmly, turning you back to the mirror. 
“Look how beautiful you are,” he murmurs, lips pressed against your ear, “Look.” 
You puff your cheeks, fighting against his fingers.
“Look, love. Or you don’t get to cum,” he purrs in your ear.
You mutter sulkily, knowing full well his threats are anything but empty, “You’re evil.” 
But you obey diligently, letting his fingers guide your face forward. The sight before you is so unbelievably filthy, Sylus’s long fingers digging into your thighs to keep them spread open, his other fingers playing with your swollen lips. Even on his lap, he was a head taller than you, His soft white hair is matted with sweat, his cheeks dusted a peachy red with how vigorously he’d just been fucking you.
As your eyes meet in the mirror, Sylus lifts you from underneath your thighs, and spears you onto his cock. You cry out at the feeling of being stretched open again, Sylus’s own ecstasy fueled grunts in your ear.
With you atop him, his cock reaches so unbelievably deep inside you that you feel the tears returning. Your eyes screw shut as his tip repeatedly brushes against your cervix, the familiar pain quickly dulling into an intense pleasure. 
Suddenly you feel Sylus’s teeth at the crook of your neck, and arm coming across your chest to enclose over your entire throat. His sharp canines dig into the area where your neck meets your shoulder, biting just hard enough to make your eyes fly open to face his in the mirror. His eyebrows are quirked at you, amusement evident in his sharp ruby eyes.
He doesn’t speak, instead keeping his mouth attached to your pulse point. But the dark sultry heat swirling in his eyes that you can see reflected in the mirror is a clear and wordless command. 
Watch.
And who were you to disobey him, when his body brought this much pleasure to your own. 
So with your eyes locked on his in the mirror, Sylus begins to bounce you in earnest on his lap. And while you moan and whimper as he springs you so effortlessly on his cock, like you weighed nothing more than a mere toy, his own noises are muffled by his teeth that are sunk into your fluttering neck. 
His eyes never leave yours in the mirror, darkened underneath his eyebrows, glowing with red hot lust. The way he watches you is so intimately primal, like a predator toying with its prey before the kill. 
With his hungry gaze locking yours in place and the lewd wet sounds of slick skin pounding against one another, you feel the alarmingly rapid tightening of your abdomen that signals your orgasm. Sylus feels it too, your walls tightening so intensely that the outline of his veins might imprint into you. Your grip coaxes his own cock toward release, his jaw tightening as to keep himself in check. 
He releases your bruised skin, admiring how breathtaking you look with his marks on you. His hand leaves your clit to rest on your tummy, stroking the skin there. You can feel him use his Evol to keep you in place, only the raw strength of his thighs and abs keeping you in steady motion on his length. 
“Look,” he croons in your ear, teeth grazing against your sensitive earlobes, “Can you see where I am, dove? I’m allll the way here ” His husky voice drawls, hand on your abdomen pressing down. You can definitely see the distinct outline of something large thrusting in and out of you. Your eyes widen at the mirror, mesmerized at how your bodies connect, almost resonating on their own. Sylus’s eyes are also glued to the way the base of his cock, shiny with a ring of arousal, forces your tiny fluttering cunt to take him in all his glory.  
“Tell me how it feels, hm? Tell me how I make you feel.” When you don’t respond, too lost in the sight in the mirror, his fingers come back down to squeeze your clit,
“Sylus! – ngh – feels ssoo so good,” you simper, panting through the hold he still has on your throat, the pressure quickly becoming far too addicting, “I-I…”
“Hah,” he groans into your ear, “You what baby? Tell me.”
“M’gunna cuuum,” you wail as his angle shifts just slightly, cock driving into your g spot. Sylus knows just how to play with you, his fingers sending you to heaven and back repeatedly. He was so thick that you felt like he'd split you in two, your cunt and thighs being stretched to their limits against the sloppy friction.
“Hmmm, is my beautiful girl going to make a mess on me? Does she deserve to?”
The mere thought that he might deny your climax again has you sobbing, tears of anguished ecstasy rolling down your face as his pace picks up even further.
“P-Pleaaase – unghh – please let me. I’m a g-good girl, I’ll be so – hnngh – good, I promise.”
Sylus had no intention of denying you again, but now he physically couldn’t. Because now, watching the fat tears roll down your cheek and hearing your beautiful pleas, he too could feel himself pulse with the ache to fill you up. As he watched your breathtaking form in the mirror, he cursed the Gods for sending the only thing that could ruin him. 
You.
And yet, being ruined by you felt so damn good.
“Good for who, my love?”
Your vision has become clouded by your tears and the black spots that blot your eyesight. But the possessive purr in Sylus’s voice reaches you, through all the blinding pleasure, and makes butterflies flutter in your chest.
Your hands come up behind you to grasp behind his neck, and you strain yourself so that you turn just slightly to face him. For a second Sylus looks taken aback, but he quickly composes himself, the confident smile returning to his lips. 
“Nggghh – for you, Sylus.” The sincerity of your shaking voice wipes the cocky smirk off his face, his thrusts faltering ever so slightly. For a brief second, Sylus can’t feel anything. He can’t feel the way your cunt, on the precipice of release, squeezes so forcefully that it threatens to break him in half, the way your soaking thighs ripple against his lap as he pounds into you, the way your fingers play with the hair at the back of his head.
Fate had played a cruel trick on the two of you. Two tragically entwined Aether cores. Two birds of a feather, trapped in the cage destiny had built. 
But now, there is only you and him. Fate and destiny be damned. 
“I’m yours Sylus. Always yours.”
Your words, delicate and simpering, pull him back to reality. All the sensations he’d briefly been numbed to came crashing back. The torturously delicious way you felt around him, atop him, and against him swarmed back all at once. And to top it all off, the sight of your fluttery wide wet eyes, hazed over with a fog of lust, staring at him with such wonder and adoration. Your eyes alone were practically making love to him.
It made him absolutely feral.
You squeal, thighs doing their best to grip against Sylus’s lap as he bounces you with an unprecedented vigor, his hand holding your throat to keep you somewhat steady. You watch his muscles bulge, his much larger frame very much on display behind you. Powerful and imposing – a true god-like glory. 
“That’s fucking right, you’re mine,” he hisses in your ear, jaws clenched to hold back the moans your pussy threaten to pull from his body. 
“Gonna cum in you, yeah? Would my slutty girl like that?"
“Y-Yes!” you squeal, so close to coming undone, “Pleeease Sylus!  I-I’m s’close, I’ll do anything please!” You were quickly losing your voice amidst all the screaming and vigorous activities.
You can see Sylus devilish smile, releasing your throat to tilt your chin towards him.
“Anything? You’re making a deal with the devil, little dove.”
With your face so dangerously close to his, he can’t resist. He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, his lips crashing onto yours, locked in the sweltering passion of your bodies. The feel of his tongue claiming every inch of your mouth is just enough to send you headfirst into the orgasm you’d been on the brink of for so long.
And because of that, your body couldn’t hold back the gush of excitement that squirted from where Sylus was connected to you. It’s so messy you can’t help the way your cheeks burn in embarrassment, even amidst the short circuiting of your pleasure-numbed brain. 
“Jesus fucking christ,” Sylus bites out, the tautening of your orgasm stricken cunt nearly squeezing him into unconsciousness. He fucks you through your blissed out state, and it isn’t long before he follows your lead. 
Like everything Sylus does, the way he cums is frighteningly powerful. Your body involuntarily shivers at how hot he is, but more so just how much there is. You can both clearly see the thick milky white seed seeping down Sylus’s cock, even as he continues to fuck into you. His thrusts are slower now, but more intentional. Conveying every ounce of passion into the way he rocks into you. Overstimulation quickly grips you, and you weakly tap at his thighs.
“Sylus, no-no more. S’too much.”
“M’not done,” he groans into your ear as he continues to thrust into you, and it’s then you feel his cock still shooting ropes of his hot spend inside you. He does, however, release your clit, shoving his fingers in your mouth, knowing it'll give you something to ground yourself amidst the sensitivity while he rides out the waves of his climax. 
You gladly accept his fingers, grasping his forearm and sucking like his arm was a dessert. The taste of your mixed slick helps distract you from the intense aftershocks that wrack your body. It’s all enough to have Sylus spurting out everything he has, drained completely empty, milked utterly dry. 
When you feel him finally still, you crack your eyes open, almost scared to see the aftermath. 
The waning sun bounced beams of golden sunlight off your sweat, tears, and cum slicked bodies. Your own body was also littered in pretty little bruises, in the shape of Sylus’s teeth and fingers. Bruises in places you hadn’t even felt Sylus sink his teeth into. They quite literally looked like swirls of paint against a blank canvas. 
Your hair was a mess, and your tear stained face was no better. The area between your thighs was red and puffy, leaking an obscene amount of white cream, all the while still stuffed to the brim with Sylus’s softening member. Even half hard, he stretched you absolutely full. 
On the other hand, the man in question looked absolutely ethereal as he loomed above you in the mirror. His hair sat lusciously soft, gently blowing with the breeze entering through the cracked window. His muscles still flexed gently as they recovered from the vigorous activities, strong chest rising and falling rhythmically with his steadying heartbeat. 
And finally his eyes that watch you back so carefully, the carmine orbs half lidded with satisfied bliss. His lips stretch into that signature Sylus smirk when he catches you staring, nothing short of heart stoppingly arrogant.
He’s so unbelievably handsome, your cunt quivering again just at the sight of him. Wincing at the feeling of his cock inside you stirring back to life at your involuntary throbbing, you panic and tap furiously on his thigh. 
“Sylus, put me down.” 
Sylus chuckles, mischief coloring his scarlet eyes, “What, no ‘please’?”
You whine, not able to withstand the feeling of him stirring back to life in your absolutely spent core. Yet you can feel yourself fluttering in anticipation. And you know he can feel it too. 
You silently curse your traitorous body.
“Please.”
He laughs warmly and obliges. His strong hands grip the underside of your thighs, lifting you off of him. You cry out at the feeling, your cunt clenching at nothing, seeking him once more. Sylus inhales sharply, craving your tight warmth again. But he holds you gently against his chest, shifting so that his erection rests between his abdomen and your thigh, with you sitting sideways on his lap. 
You nuzzle your head into his chest, and Sylus’s lips come down to the top of your head, breathing in your scent and ghosting kisses into your hair. Your hands reach up to weave into his silver tresses, playing with his soft locks and delicately massaging his scalp. 
“Thank you,” you murmur, voice muffled against his skin.
When Sylus doesn’t respond, you pull away from him and look up at him expectantly. He appears to be lost in the feeling of your fingers. 
“You never said please, you could at least say thank you,” you tease, poking his soft cheek with your finger. 
Sylus looks down at you, amused danger flickering in the deep orbs of crimson. His hand leaves your thigh, slowly and tortuously crawling up your skin until he cups your face. You shiver, suddenly feel like you’re staring into the face of danger. 
“Hmm, isn’t it customary to say thank you after eating?” 
You crinkle your brows in confusion at his cryptic words, waiting for him to elaborate further. Sylus’s smug grin widens, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip, basking in the excited fear brimming in your bleary eyes. 
“I’ve yet to finish my meal, little dove.” 
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Text
Too shy to tell you
miguel o’hara x fem!reader
Miguel hides your heals in hopes of making you forget you ever owned a pair...he confesses about his theft during a hot and heavy night of sex.
Warnings: This might be interpreted as possessive or an unhealthy bond. Though its supposed to be just a very shy and respectful Miguel who let's loose during sex.:]
Authors note: I am not a writer!! This is my first time righting fanfic.. like.. ever!!! So don't attack me. Though honest, constructive criticism is something that I would love to hear. Sorry if there are spelling mistakes. Also, I don't know how to put proper description..... enjoy!!!!
:::
"Miggy?" I call out to my boyfriend who's currently towering over the coffee machine, waiting for it to brew.
"Yes, my love?" He responds with a look over his shoulder.
"Have you seen my black pointed heals? I can't seem to find them."
"No. Have you checked by the door?" He was lying.
He was lying. He was lying, and he didn't feel bad about it. The truth was he had stuffed them in the highest cupboard of the laundry room. He knew you couldn't reach it. He liked it that way. He couldn't let you open it since he had stuffed at least 4 pairs of heals in there.
"No miggy, they aren't here." You say after checking everywhere by the front door.
"Idk what to say, baby... we have to leave soon. Just throw on a different pair and I'll buy you some new ones later."
He was a liar... and he was damn good at it... until he wasn't.
:::
It was 2am. This insanity started hours ago, but Miguel's stamina wouldn't let down. Your soft moans could fuel him till sun rise, and he would love to do this forever. But unlike him, you have limits. Limits to your ability to stay strong, or at least keep yourself up right. But he doesn't really care. Your begs for a break won't succeed with a constantly starving man like him.
"One more round, please baby... please. I need you." His desperate begs caress your tear stained cheeks as he whispers them softly, leaning over you and filling you with sloppy thrust.
"Miguel- please.. It's too much.." You whine as you try to pull away, gripping desperately onto the sheets.
"Last one.... I promise..." he lies.
He said the same thing the last 4 rounds. If he could have it his way he'd continue. But he knew you couldn't keep going for much longer, so he used this opportunity to tell you what he couldn't bring himself to say otherwise.
"I lied..." he confesses. Watching your tits bounce with every rough trust, keeping himself busy while you tried to form a reply. It took you a while, but you managed to let out a soft hum, waiting for him to explain himself further.
"I took them. Your heels.. I fucking hate those things.." he thrust get faster as he says it. Hoping to make your brain foggy enough to not remember his confessions in the morning.
"I like your height, so why do you wear those weird things?" His heart felt lighter as he told you.
"I like that your height forces you to get on your tippy toes every time you want a kiss from me.. and even then, I have to bend over to reach you.... I like that you rely on me to reach those high shelves. Every time you ask me, you grow as red as a rose...."
You can feel his movements speed up. You can barely hear him... your mind fuzzy from pleasure. Lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin felt like white noise at this point. The dim shadow of his frame covering you completely.
"You're so small under me.. your body falls any way I bend it..." At his point, he was just speaking the first thing to cross his mind.
You didn't hear him, and he knew it. Seconds later, you feel his weight shift, the mattress by your head sinking under his heavy hand as he leaned in and whispered.
"Please don't take that away from me."
His words were demanding. He felt exactly what he said. Even though your eyes were shut tight, you knew his eyes were locked on you. His breath heavy, as if he just confessed a dirty secret. He kinda did...
"Promise me.... Promise me you won't wear them and I'll help you cum."
As tired as you were. You wanted it. You needed it. You needed him. So you give in.
"F-fine... I promise."
"You promise what?" He smirked hearing your whiney voice.
"I promise I won't wear the heels!!"
The pleasure he got from you saying that was immense. He shifted his weight once more as he changed your position like a marionette doll. Spreading your legs apart. His hands wrapped around your thighs, and his claws dug into your skin. The stinging pain of it was a wake-up call, causing you to gasp for air.
This position caused him to go deeper. The sticky mess from your previous rounds was being pushed out of your aching hole. The sound of his hips hitting your ass grew louder with every precise thrust. They got louder and louder until they stopped. Your thighs had clenched closed as you hit that high you were chasing. And you took him with you. Tightening around his pulsing cock in a way that made him fill you to the brim once more.
He watched your body shake. Your hips jerking forward. He would usually take that as his sign to keep going, but your fucked out face was telling him you couldn't take another thrust.
"You did great my love..... my little angel~" He cooed gentle praises as he rubbed your claw marked thighs.
"I'll buy you the cutest flats."
:::
A thing he didn't know.. is that you lied, too. His secret cupboard was emptied, and your heal collection was restored... and yes.. he pouted in silence.
The end
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beneathashadytree · 2 months
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RESPONSIBLE DADS - LOVE AND DEEPSPACE MEN X READER
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Warnings : autistic!Zayne with his autistic daughter, all of them are girl dads here (except for Xavier who has twins), cuteness-aggression bites, one mention of a gun (no one is harmed!), no mentions of pregnancy (their kids can be interpreted as biological or adopted), this isn’t proof-read, reader is gender-neutral!
Genre : so much domestic fluff ☹️🫶🏽
Word count : 2.3K words (holy shit???)
Additional notes : This is a combination of two asks I’d received a month or two ago about the LNDS men as dads while their partner is away, and Zayne in particular struggling with his own autism vs his child’s autism. The brain rot was real in this one😭 To anyone else reading this, my requests are still closed!! These are just old requests I had in my inbox🫶🏽
Tip jar!
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“She went down without much of a fuss,” Zayne said, slowly closing the bedroom door behind him as he set his phone on the dresser and got ready for bed over the video call, despite the time zone differences. He’d tried to convince them to just let themself rest instead of staying up past 3 AM, but they’d paid him no mind and insisted on seeing him last thing before bed.
They hummed, watching him slip out of his button up through their screen with a fond gaze. “She is really quiet compared to what I’ve heard about kids her age.”
In the midst of folding his shirt, he paused, a slight crease between his eyebrows. “A little too quiet.” At his concerned face, they straightened up in their seat and leaned in closer to their phone. “I think… she has difficulty connecting with me.”
Their expression was unsure at that. “I don’t know, Zayne. You know she loves you…”
“I do,” was his swift answer, pausing as he pulled his pyjama shirt over his head, then popping out with his hair adorably mussed. “But maybe she feels like I wouldn’t understand her.”
No matter how much he wanted to seem stoic and unaffected by the prospect, there was no hiding the conflicted emotions swimming in his eyes. With an almost sad smile, they asked him, “Even though anyone that sees you two says you have so much in common?”
With a slight flush (was it out of embarrassment as he noticed his messy hair, or was it a twinge of pride in being so connected to his daughter?) he began to apply his minimal skincare that he’d grown used to with them, scarred skin deftly being cared for after years of neglect.
“Autistic girls have different experiences than autistic boys, and their struggles are often overlooked because of these differences. Maybe she subconsciously feels that we can’t bridge that gap.”
Resting their head against their hand, keen eyes bore through him. Zayne would never go unheard as long as they were there. “Do you feel that gap?”
He shrugged, swallowing thickly as he wiped the excess off on his hand towel. “It’s not about me. Studies show that—”
Shaking their head, they sighed a little in affectionate exasperation. “It doesn’t matter what studies say. You’re overthinking it because you want things to be perfect. It’s sweet, just… not very realistic.”
“Mm. I know,” he softly conceded, combing through his hair with a distant glimmer in his eyes. It wasn’t so easy, navigating the emotions and ideas of a child that one already struggled with for decades.
They apologetically smiled at him, then added, “She trusts you with her life because she knows how hard you try to understand her, no matter how difficult that may be sometimes. You give her the space to be able to communicate her needs properly, and that’s why she loves you beyond measure, Zayne.”
He looked away for a few beats, but that was enough time for them to see the misty-eyed wonder in his eyes as he looked at the crooked drawing on his bedside table that she’d made of him holding her in his arms.
His sweet daughter who carried a piece of his heart everywhere she went.
“Then she’s just like you. Very open with her affections.” Huffing out an impossibly tender laugh, he picked up his phone once again and began to climb into bed, his shoulders sagging with relief; like he needed that reassurance to be able to nestle his body into the mattress, cold as it was without his lover. “Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve it from you both…”
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“You’re gonna get sick like that, and guess who’ll be cleaning up that mess?” Rafayel frowned, grabbing his daughter by the scruff of her neck and carrying her off before she got her pretty dress drenched by the wave that came crashing down where she’d been standing.
“I can’t get sick from water, daddy, and you know it,” came the reply between giggles, her eyes closed as she relished in the spray of seawater.
With a grunt, he fumbled with his phone a little as he switched to carrying her against his hip with one arm, before turning back to the ongoing video call. “Holding down the fort?” they teasingly asked, arching their brow at their daughter’s windswept hair and inevitably sandy fists curled up against Rafayel’s chest.
“She likes to bully me.” He pouted as he saw two pairs of mischievous eyes looking at him. “No guesses as to where she picked that up from.”
“Are you sure that your six year old daughter—who, mind you, is as cute as a button—is bullying you?”
“Daddy’s just silly, Lemurians are fine with water,” his daughter tried to reason with what she felt was perfectly logical. “He just doesn’t want to wash my clothes again if I get them wet.”
“And why should I?” he indignantly huffed out at the grin that showed she was definitely up to no good. “They’ll get dirty ten seconds later anyways. It’s such a pain.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t leave paint buckets everywhere, then I wouldn’t be on my fourth dress of the day.” Her sassy mutter under her breath was the last straw, and then his instincts took over and—
Chomp!
His teeth nibbled on her round little cheeks, cuteness aggression washing away any possible annoyance (which he’d been feigning, anyways) at the prospect of having to do the laundry all over again. She cried out in protest, though her shreaks of laughter and tighter hold on him gave away the fact that—not unlike his partner—she loved every bit of it.
“You got my face all dirty,” she whined, wiping her cheek against his silk shirt as he walked them back up to the house, much to his dismay.
A chuckle came from his screen, and he flushed under the sweet gaze and the grin he missed so much. “There goes another round in the washing machine. Y’know, Raf, it’s not the smartest move around to wear your favorite clothes around your kid.”
“No kidding,” he grumbled, though there was no bite behind his words. In fact, the tender look in his gem-like eyes only spoke volumes of the adoration he held inside. And maybe his little girl felt it, and decided it would be the perfect moment to press a kiss to where she could reach, right over his heart.
“I don’t mind the paint, daddy. You always make the prettiest things with it, pretty just like you,” she softly said, her tiny index finger toying with the pearlescent button on his blouse.
How much more did she want to squeeze his heart in his chest? He didn’t think he could possibly love her any more than he already did, and yet here she was, proving over and over again that she was the greatest gift he could ever be blessed with after all these years. Walking into their home with sandy feet and salty skin was no longer a dream, but a part of his quaint little life.
“Even if you did ruin my favorite dress and sandals.”
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“Papa’s been asleep for three hours now,” she whined in a low voice, her bottom lip jutted out as she looked back at Xavier curled up in a ball in the middle of the unmade bed, legs tangled in the messy sheets. She then turned back to the videocall at hand. “Can’t you wake him up, please?”
Her twin brother popped up from behind her and patted her shoulders in what he hoped was a soothing manner. “He’s tired after he played with us. Let’s leave him for a bit.”
With a downcast gaze, she reluctantly nodded and walked out with him, the phone shaking as it was a little too big for her small hands.
Now out in the living room, they could finally raise their voices a little. “Papa cleaned up in the morning too. We probably shouldn’t have asked him to play with us.” He looked a little forlorn as he fiddled with his fingers. Painfully shy, it often showed when he was doubting himself. “We tried to help him after lunch, but—”
“That’s okay, what matters is that you both tried to lend him a hand,” they sweetly reassured them as they smiled through the screen. “And I’m sure if he was too tired to play with you guys, he wouldn’t have offered it in the first place.”
Their daughter gasped, eyes shining in awe at that. “How did you know that Papa was the one who came up with the game?”
“Because he waits for playtime every day, just to spend time with you guys. He’s always so excited, y’know?”
With matching grins (though one was more bashful than the other), the two seven year-olds looked significantly lighter than they had been when the call had first started. The precious moment was soon interrupted by a yawn from behind and a tuft of blonde hair taking up half the background.
“Did you two sneak off to have them all to yourself?” came Xavier’s sleep-addled voice, as he shuffled to pull them onto his lap and readjust the camera. “Cheeky, taking advantage of my nap.”
His daughter laughed, her hands going to loop around his neck. “We weren’t! Promise.”
Her brother reached up to pat down Xavier’s bedhead, gently combing through the soft locks. “You looked tired, Papa. We didn’t want to wake you up with our voices.”
At that, Xavier couldn’t help the upwards quirk of his lips, all the love one could contain threatening to burst through as he held his world between his fingertips—and the best part of him miles away but no further from the heart.
“You’re sweet, just like a certain someone we all miss,” he said, before kissing their foreheads and ruffling their hair, earning little grumbles of protest. Turning his attention back to the videocall, Xavier’s eyes softened. “How long until we can take naps together on the couch again?”
His partner sighed, glancing at the calender on the wall for a moment. “Should be three days. It’s hell without you guys. Maybe I’ve gotten used to waking you all up for an hour in the mornings.”
“Hey, it’s all because of Papa!”
“He does sleep in twice as long as us…”
“And it’s gotten even worse now that you’re gone.”
He chuckled at their sulking feeding off each other, and the collective agreement that things just weren’t the same when his lover wasn’t beside him where they belonged. “Then maybe this should be enough to convince them to hurry back to us so we can get up early every day, hmm?”
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“Tell me why Luke and Kieran frantically called me up and told me stop you from endangering our one year old girl. Now.”
“Well, hello to you too, sweetie.” Sylus rolled his eyes at the clearly enthusiastic greeting. “I’ve missed you too. I’m doing good without you for two weeks. Thanks for asking.”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t give me that crap. You’ll live.” Scoffing, they crossed their arms in front of their chest. “Less avoiding the topic, more explaining why your seconds in command are treating you like a ticking bomb.”
“They’re more like lackeys, you know.” A hint of irritation climbed up his spine. Luke and Kieran were more like lost puppies that would be a danger to themselves—and society—if they were left to their whims. That’s all that they were (or so he tried to convince himself).
They waved him off, knowing that his half-assed words weren’t to be taken seriously. “I beg to differ. Now, where is she and what happened?”
Silence settled for a few moments, but then he realized it wasn’t in his favor to not quickly come clean. “She was playing around with me in bed, then seemed fascinated by my left pocket. Said pocket… may or may not have had a gun.”
Leaning in close to the camera, they sighed heavily, and pinched the bridge of their nose. “And I’m assuming her magic little fingers found the trigger.”
“More or less yes,” he mumbled under his breath, swallowing thickly as he met their dead-eyed stare. “Had to whip it out and fling it across the room… which may or may not have caused it to slam into the new bookcase and send it toppling.”
It didn’t matter how many people he’d managed to fearlessly face down; pinned underneath his partner’s disapproval, he found himself unable to move. “And that’s where they came in?”
Sylus hummed, flipping the camera and showing them the fractured remains on the floor. “Sorry about that, sweetie. Didn’t have the time to clean it up, what with feeding her and getting her ready for bed.”
“It’s fine, I can build another one.” Their quick dismissal was followed by the furrowing of their eyebrows. “What matters is that you prioritized her safety first.”
“Of course,” he was quick to reply, turning the camera back to himself, before he chuckled a little, sweetness seeping through his voice, “Though I do admit, seeing her have no self-preservation instincts really did make her strikingly similar to you in that regard.”
“Really flattering, hearing you praise her brashness and compare it to mine.” Their expression then grew more serious, and they worried their bottom lip between their teeth. “But… please. Don’t keep any weapons in the same room as her. She’s naturally curious.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” he murmured, having had his dose of sheer panic at her tiny hands. He couldn’t remember a moment in his life when he’d been as terrified as he was earlier, his blood turning to ice at the thought of endangering her because of his own fast-paced life.
“I know you’ll be more careful. You’re so good to her—and me,” they quietly mused, a grateful look on their face as they admired him—tired ruby eyes, unruly silver hair, and all.
And Sylus had no control over his own lovesick stare, perfectly content with dancing in their palm for the rest of their lives. After all, he’d found the only two people in this world he could forfeit his life for. There was no shame in admitting it—and so he did, ever so softly. “I suppose you can take pride in knowing that you both have me wrapped around your fingers.”
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861 notes · View notes
ozzgin · 7 months
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Is it just me or can I imagine a yandere with a darling who’s immune system and possibly everything about them just screams weak and pathetic, BUT their darling is actually very strong mentally and has and will create the most fucked up, batshit crazy inventions from what used to be harmless to something that can help them escape and possibly destroy everything in its path.
But at the end of the day, they become sleepy koalas who hug whoever is near them and fall asleep :)
This could be a request or rant, whatever you can think of! I just wanted to see how different yandere writers would interpret this small imagination of mine <3
But as always, stay safe and take care! everyone needs a break some time to time~
Sorry, but the moment I read the Darling's description, I instantly thought of Dr. Finkelstein from Nightmare Before Christmas. You know, Sally's inventor. 😭 So let me quickly write this down while I'm in my Shelley vibes, because I like the idea a lot. With a little twist, if you don't mind. :)
Yandere! Monster x Inventor! Reader
A frail inventor, and their affectionate rag doll that has been carefully stitched together for the purpose of a caregiver. An artificial existence, trapped within the confines of your lonely tower. Or so you might think.
Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, obsessive behavior
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"I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel..." [Frankenstein]
You dangle an old, rusty bell for a good minute before leaning back in your chair. The barely audible chimes are quickly swallowed by the loud, mechanical groans of the gears and engines occupying most of this room. No matter, his ears are good. You picked them yourself. And surely enough, within moments, the door to your laboratory opens and someone cautiously walks in.
A tall, slender man. Or rather, something meant to resemble a man. The skin is a clumsy patchwork of blues and grays - you're no talented seamster, sadly - gathering together the body parts in what feels like a parodic attempt at mimicking God and his image. You gaze at the creature approaching you with a tray of tea and sweets. Scarcely your best work, if you must adhere to honesty. Regardless of the quality of your labor at the time of creation, you are proud of the result. How could you not be? You know this man better than you know yourself. Every organ, every artificial nerve cord, every blemish and stitch of his body was placed according to your intentions. A masterfully detailed project that took you years to complete; not an easy feat considering the lamentable state of your health.
"Here's your deadly nightshade tea." The man places a small, porcelain cup on the desk. "Do let me know when I should take you to bed, (Y/N)." You wave your hand dismissively and stretch out your limbs. "Not yet. I am almost finished", you respond, returning to the mound of metal scraps and pipes before you. "Can I ask what you're making?" The pale creature lowers himself to your level, a curious smile plastered on his face. "It's a mechanical heart", you reveal boastfully. "Like the one I have?" You run your hand through the creature's hair affectionately. "Almost. I'm testing out a different way to build the valves, for a more efficient pumping cycle." You continue to explain the intricacies of your novel mechanism, occasionally sipping on your tea. "Who knows, you might have a sibling in the near future."
The man's smile drops in an instant, and his sunken eyes widen at your statement. "What? Am I- am I not enough?" You glance at the creature as he becomes increasingly frantic. "Don't speak nonsense. If it comes out alright, I'll upgrade your own parts as well. I'm a disciple of scientific virtue, of continuous improvement." Nonsense? Vile treachery! You might've chiseled the brain that throbs within the walls of his skull, but his mind is his alone, and you seem to lack a fundamental understanding of his feelings and thoughts. His ardent confessions of love are met with mockingly pitiful grins, in the way a parent soothes a needy child. Even now, your eyes reflect nothing more than sympathy towards his protest. A childish tantrum is what you're most likely thinking. You've no time for emotional bagatelles. He can read you like an open book.
You simply won't understand. There is no place for a stranger in the life he's crafted with his very own hands: you, and him, and the evening tea with a side of butterscotch biscuits, and the bedtime talks, and the stripped branches of the decaying tree that rap at the windows on stormy nights. You might be the Inventor, but he is not just a mere, humble servant, a rag doll to be tossed around or toyed with. As you will soon discover, after all.
You awaken in the midst of night with your temples burning from a much too familiar headache. Although it's not just the pain that has disturbed your slumber. You can hear rattles and thuds coming from the upstairs laboratory. An intruder? Oh, your creations! The sound of glass breaking and metal scraping sends you into spiraling despair. You fumble to reach the nightstand, patting the surface in search for the bell and keys. You shake the handle in a panic, unable to find anything else in the darkness.
The chaotic rustle abruptly stops, followed by descending footsteps. You hold your breath as the chamber door opens, but it's none other than your creature. "Another flare-up? Shall I bring you some medicine?" the man asks with monotonous courtesy. "What have you been doing? What's all that noise?" you demand, agitated, but upon lifting yourself off the mattress you discover your legs are numb and uncooperative. The man hurries to your bed with a worried frown, and you hear the familiar clatter of the keychain coming from one of his pockets. "Have you taken my keys? Cease this foolishness at once!" Indifferent to your reproach, he places a firm hold on your shoulders and forces you back down, tucking you in effortlessly.
"You must forgive my impertinence." he says in a pleading tone. "I do not wish to impede the works of your genius. As your partner, however, it is my duty to prevent you from making mistakes." You furrow your eyebrows at his words. "What mistakes? My invention was flawless!", you argue fervently. "Indeed it was, but not its purpose. What need have you for another being?" It is the creature's turn for a passionate speech. He stands up with a confidence you don't recognize and continues: "You should know by now that I am fit to perform any role. That of your servant, your caregiver, your lover, or anything else you may desire. You can resume your tinkering starting tomorrow, but such blasphemies to our bond as the one today will not be tolerated." He straightens his vest and reaches for the door handle. "I will prepare some tea to help you rest."
Inconceivable. Your own creation, built with your own hands...Has something escaped your attention? His dialogue is deranged, tainted by madness. "Have I done something wrong?" you mumble to yourself, deep in contemplation. "Nonsense." the creature turns to face you briefly. "It was you who created me after all. Everything is perfectly splendid."
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uyuforu · 2 months
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Romance Numbers in Destiny of Matrix
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Hi people! So I have been discovering Destiny of Matrix for some days and I LOVE this technique. And of course, anytime I discover some thing, I love to check with the people I know to see how accurate it is. Moreover, I feel like it hasn't been talked much on Tumblr? Like there are posts but not enough in my opinion. I wanted to try to give my interpretation as I have made some researches based on people I know. So this post is totally my own interpretation! Though, I hope this can give some insights, and some good tools too.
All pictures were found on Pinterest
Other posts you could like:
જ⁀➴ How to know when you will get married?
જ⁀➴ How to know where your Future Spouse was born?
જ⁀➴ Derivative Astrology: our Future Spouse in our Natal Chart
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What is Destiny Matrix?
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Destiny Matrix is an Esoteric tool that explores the 22 Arcana's of the Tarot to see a different approach of yourself and your life, as a Chart, similar to Astrology. It's a tool that also enable you to develop your full potential as an individual. Numbers and Chakras are used instead of signs, houses and degrees.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Calculate your Destiny Matrix Chart here.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Numbers on the Chart will go from 1 to 22, representing each Tarot's 22 Major Arcanas.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Colored Numbers are your main energies, they are also great tools to understand your true potential and why you came into this life, but also past life, desires, and your soul's purpose. Though this isn't the theme in this post.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Some more ressources on Tumblr here!
How do you use Destiny Matrix?
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ In this post, we will talk about the romance and love part of your life. And mostly numbers. On each sides of the chart, you'll see your different ages, representing different eras of your life. And above those different ages, you'll see a number, between 1 to 22.
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⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ As you may have guessed it, those numbers will express the energy of what is happening in your life in those eras. It doesn't only mean one thing, it's a global energy. So this energy can be taken in romance, career, etc.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ It's more about energies and main events. It's a life forecast.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Now, each numbers above your different ages represent a Tarot Major Arcana, to know more, here is the Wikipedia page.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Of course, each Arcana have also their own energies and meanings, and the way I interpret cards have always been taking both positive and negative energies. In this tool, I think it's important to take both.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ I have so studied this technique with my personal knowledge and thought of doing an observation post about it, please read this before continuing:
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Please know this post is based on my personal researches. I practice Tarot too and I have some knowledge on the cards, but I am still new at Destiny of Matrix. My main goal in this post is to give more insights and my own point of view on the matter. I of course use relatives and individuals I knows to support all theories here. This is truly an observation post. Please take it lightly!
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Also please use your intuition, I bet you'll not have children at 5 years old, so even if you see a number that can indicate pregnancy, think twice that it might not happen when you are too young. Use your own discernment, and take it in an open-minded way! Those are possible indicators only!
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Meeting your Future Spouse Numbers
1: The Magician
The first Major Arcana can be an indicator of meeting your Future spouse. This card is the very first card, which usually represents new beginnings, something new coming to your life. It also indicates lovestruck, beginning of a relationship, and building a story with someone. In this case, this can be taken as a something new starting, and def something major in your life.
5: The Hierophant
The Hierophant, also called The Pope, is the 5th card and is an indicator of meeting your FS. This card is considered linked to marriage, as the man on the card usually seal a union between two individuals. Usually this card represent a union that can go far, meaning to marriage. So this can also be an indicator of meeting someone you'll marry in the future. It seems like this number happened with people when they realized who they will marry.
6: The Lovers
The Lovers is the 6th card and it's also an indicator of meeting your FS! It's a quite strong indicator in my opinion, since this card is a divine union card, so soulmates for example are often represented with this card. You could meet a destined lover with this number, or just fall in love too.
10: The Wheel of Fortune
The 10th card usually represents major change in our life, so if you have a 10 number, this can be a year when you'll meet someone who will deeply change your life. This can be a year when you'll meet your FS, things will change!
14: Temperance
This number can also indicate meeting your FS, as this card is also a Soulmate card. Just as the Lovers card, you could meet a divine partner this year but also someone who you'll love deeply. It can also be a soulmate, but this can def be an indicator of meeting the person you'll marry.
16: The Tower
The Tower is also called "The House of God" in the French Version, and it can then represent something fated by a higher force. The number 16 can be a time when you'll meet someone who was "sent" to you, someone who is destined to meet you, and they could perhaps be your FS. It usually also represents a happy union.
17: The Star
The Star is the 17th card of the Tarot for Major Arcana, and it is a sign of hope, happiness and optimism. This number can also be an indicator of meeting someone who will bring you great joy. This is an indicator of having a protected Union, being a couple that will last a long time but also a couple who will having high chances to have children together. Fertility is a keyword for this card.
18: The Moon
So, at first I wasn't going to include this number but two of my family members got it the year they met their FS. So it caught my interest. This card can indicate meeting someone you'll want children with. And it is also a sign of fertility. This number can then be an indicator of meeting your FS since it also talks about meeting someone you'll feel at home and comfortable with, and perhaps meeting someone who is a soulmate too. I have also noticed a pattern with this number: both my relative who got this number met their FS while being in a relationship! Perhaps this can be an indicator...
19: The Sun
AH the Sun! The happy card! The Sun to me makes it obvious we need to add the number 19. This number will bring great happiness and joy into your life, so this can be a year you can meet your FS since they will usually (I wish you that at least), great happiness. This card represents union, a couple that is a great fit for one another, but also a couple that is very tender and wish to build a future together. But it also represents universal and unconditional love!
20: Judgment
The number 20 can be another indicator of meeting your FS. That number is about meeting a person who will be a major meeting in our life. It's also about love at first sight. But also about our destiny. So we could be meeting someone who was meant for us.
22: The Fool
This is the last card in the Major arcana, and it usually represents a meeting a new person in a very unexpected way. But it also represents honeymoon, and meeting a passionate lover. While this can be surprising for others, I think it's important to remember this card represents endings leading to new beginnings. So yes, this can also be an indicator.
Examples
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mom was a 10 when she met my dad.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad only married my step mother, and he had number 10 the year he met her.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ The year I met my FS online I was a 6.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ And the year we met in real life I was a 16!
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Both my grandma and my aunt were a 18 when they met their FS, yet both met them at a time they were already in a relationship!
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandfather was a 20 when he met my grandma.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandma was also a 10 when she met my other grandfather.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My FS was a 16 when we first met and 5 when we met in real life.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ One of my best friend was a 5 the first time she met her FS.
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Getting Engaged / Marriage Numbers
2: The Popess
5: The Hierophant
6: The Lovers
7: The Chariot
This card is about moving, and things moving fast, forward. An engagement or a wedding is a new step in a relationship, so this card can be an indicator.
8: The Justice
Marriage contract
10: The Wheel of Fortune
16: The Tower
19: The Sun
20: The Judgment
21: The World
22: The Fool
A new era of your life, something totally new coming.
Examples
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my dad and step mother married, she was a 21 and my dad was a 20.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandma was an 8 when she got married for the second time.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandfather was a 22 when he got married the second time.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandmother was a 21 when she got married too.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt was a 5 when she got married.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ If I follow my predictions, I will be an 8 or 16 when I'll get married.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mother has indicators of getting married soon and she will be a 7 soon LOL.
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Pregnancies/ Having Children Numbers
2: The Popess
The Popess represents the oldest woman, the woman who has knowledges and experiences, so it can also represents a nurse, or women who help during the pregnancies. And it is also a sign, as the card itself, of pregnancies. It is governed by the Moon. It represents the desire to have children, and also to be pregnant. It is also a sign of maternal wisdom or nurturing.
3: The Empress (for women specifically)
The Empress represents the woman, and it is a major number to have for years to be pregnant. I would say that it represents being pregnant best, and more if you are a woman actually. This card is represented by Venus, and it is a huge indicators of being pregnant, being fertile, and having children. Pregnancy is a huge theme on this card. The Empress represents the mother in Tarot.
4: The Emperor (for men specifically)
As the Empress represents the mother, the Emperor represents the father! So if you are a man, this can be an indicator of becoming a father a certain year.
6: The Lovers
It wasn't an indicator to me at first but I saw two of my family members being a 6 during pregnancies or when they had a child, so I have decided to mark it. I guess since the Lovers represents being two, and when a woman is pregnant, she is two (her + the child), it can be an indicator. Both of those family members had this indicator with their first children!
10: The Wheel of Fortune
The Wheel of Fortune isn't necessarily a pregnancy indicator in Tarot, at least not specifically. But, this card represents big change or transformation in one's life. So it's obvious it can mean something is changing. This can so indicate pregnancies, and if you are a woman, this can even indicate something is changing in your body!
13: Death
While Death represents change and transformation, it can also apply in this case in my opinion. It means new beginnings, it's a card that indicates deep change, so even physically and mentally. So this can mean deep change and transformation in your body, but also in your life, as having children brings total new beginnings.
16: The Tower
This card brings happy news and it's a card about fertility, and also men's fertility. It represents pregnancies in some cases as it brings happy news specially to the home.
17: The Stars
This card represents women, fertility, feeling harmonious, and wishes for pregnancies. It represents possible birth and children.
18: The Moon
This is a feminine card too! A card ruled by Cancer, and a big indicator for pregnancies and children. In Tarot, this totally represents being pregnant. It also represents the desire to be pregnant, and the action to fall pregnant (so s3x, but def in order to be pregnant).
19: The Sun
So, there are two reasons as to why I think this can be an indicator. First, this card represents happy news, and so this is obvious (generally) a pregnancy is a happy new. But this card is also ruled by the Sun & Leo, and it so is the card of children.
21: The World
The World is a card that can also represents pregnancies. First, it's a card that has more feminine and women energies. This card represent the end of a project, and it can be the outcome of a couple project (what do couples do together... iykyk), it also represents a perfect project.
Examples
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mother had number 3 when she had me.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my step-mother was pregnant with my sister, she was a 18.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt was a 10 during her first pregnancy.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ The next years she is a 13 and then 16, I am pretty sure she will fall pregnant again (I have astro indicator of having a new cousin this year).
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad was a 18 when my mom was pregnant, and a 10 when I was born.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ He was a 10 again when my brother was born.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandma was a 21 when she was pregnant with her first child.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Funny thing, my grandma was a 4 when she had my mother, but the story was that my grand father reallyyyy wanted a child that year.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandma was a 21 when she had my aunt.
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FS being a Foreigner Numbers
For this part, we will focus on the numbers near the hearts, and actually those three (see pictures). Those numbers are indicators and a way to describe your FS. In those numbers, you can see if your FS can be a foreigner. Here are some numbers can indicate such thing.
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7: The Chariot
The Chariot is a card that represents the act of moving, and it can also indicate traveling. Despite it's not necessarily a card that means this, it is still connected to the world, since the Chariot goes and doesn't stop. It can go anywhere, so this can be an indicator of having a foreign spouse.
14: Temperance
Temperance is a card that is related to holidays and traveling for vacations, so this card can also be linked to the foreign world. This card also reminded me of the foreign land, foreign people and people who are open-minded. After all, Aquarius rule over this card, so it makes sense.
19: The Sun
This can be surprising, yet I don't think it's a major indicator, but it can still be. Actually, the Sun as a card represent countries that are hot, and places where we can go on vacations, so this is again linked to foreign lands and foreigners.
21: The World
This one is obvious, the World literally represents what it is meant to. This is the biggest indicator to me.
22: The Fool
The last card of the Tarot to me is an indicator of having a foreign spouse as well, and I would say in my opinion, 2nd biggest. This card is ruled by Uranus, so Aquarius too. This card represents the travelers, people who go and just want to discover, curiosity, it represents "everywhere".
Not a lot of people around me married foreigners for now, I don't have much examples, except my FS is a foreigner and I have a 22 number lol. But this is just my guesses since those are cards that are linked to foreign lands.
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Being Single / Breaking Up / Divorce Numbers
1: The Magician
New beginnings, starting a new project, cheating, being cheated on etc.
7: The Chariot
Moving on, moving to someone/ something else/ searching for something else.
8: The Justice
Breaking a contract, divorce.
9: The Hermit
Wanting to be alone, being left alone, someone breaking up with us, breaking up and staying single, being single.
10: The Wheel of Fortune
Change, suddenly breaking up, changing partner, passing from one partner to the other, etc.
12: The Hanged Man
Stop of a relationship, breaking up, divorce, the end of a relationship, leaving a partner.
13: Death
End of a relationship, divorce, separation, break up, being heart broken.
14: Temperance
End of a relationship, breaking up, could be a break up in good term, but also a break up because of miscommunication, couple not being made for each other.
15: The Devil
Cheating, being cheated on, doing terrible things against your partner, or your partner being terrible things to you, divorce, break up, leaving your partner for someone else, your partner leaving you for someone else, having bad intentions.
16: The Tower
Break up, divorce, separation, fights, arguments, cheating, being cheated on, breaking up on bad terms.
21: The World
Being rejected by your partner, being cheated on, partner breaking up with you, couple failing, couple not being made for each other, divorce, break up, cheating, wanting adventures.
22: The Fool
End of a relationship, stepping away from a partner, wanting to be single, being single, wanting to go on adventures, cheating, being cheated on, a partner leaving us, sudden endings.
Examples
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my mom and dad divorced, my mom was a 13. My dad was a 10.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My step mother was a 12 when she and my dad divorced.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ I was a 16 when I had a big break up with one of my ex who cheated on me (and then made me believe it was my fault lmao).
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt left her partner to be with her current husband the year she was a 10.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad was a 12 the year he got divorced from my step mother.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grand father was a 12 when he left his first wife.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grand mother was a 10 when she left her first husband for my grand father.
⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandmother was a 8 when she got divorced from my grandfather.
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Thank you for reading!
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oliviabear · 3 months
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tbh i am not a fan of this weird narrative about osha that's being tossed around. saying she has no agency is such bullshit and saying that we fell for that by liking her dynamic with qimir is even more annoying.
osha's whole thing is agency. that is literally, in my opinion, the root of her character. in the coven, it is because of osha's own agency and need for independence that she hesitates saying 'yes i accept this life' to her own family. she's craving freedom she thinks the jedi can give her. her own curiosity and utter need to be her own person, to not be tied to her twin sister are so well portrayed in this desperate grasp onto what she thinks will offer her independence and some kind of understanding of her true self. and then she leaves the jedi order, because it's just another set of rules and ways she must abide to fit into it. just another prison for her because she can't be her own person; her true self. she literally left the one thing that caused the entire conflict with her family in the first place. if that's not agency, i don't know what is. when qimir asks her why she's not a jedi, osha doesn't blame the jedi for anything, she says "because i failed." once again, she's focusing on her own choices and actions, indicating she's very self-aware of her independency and how it may have harmed her. she failed because of her own emotions, also something she's aware of. these emotions she couldn't keep at bay because of her agency; they're a part of her and a part she could not ignore or suppress like the jedi needed her to. it can even be interpreted as the show almost portraying osha as selfish because of how much agency they've given her. i honestly want this to be the case, i need messy, flawed osha
not just that, but osha is constantly practising her agency in many ways; she's leading her life the way she herself has chosen. what she thinks of these choices is a different thing entirely and can be interpreted by however you see it but ultimately her own choices led her to where she is.
which is the same thing that happens with qimir. he literally gives her an option to leave and go after master sol and her sister or just do whatever she wants. she doesn't have to stay there. i know a lot of people think he was manipulating her because he would've trapped her if she had left anyway, but i think that's a wrong way to look at what's really going on here, especially considering osha's characterisation. osha makes the choice here again, implying she has a lot of agency, again, and it makes a lot of sense why she stayed. this is just another way for her to seek out the freedom to be herself. osha is curious about the dark side, whether she denies that or not, and she wants to learn about it in hopes of gaining a sense of who she truly is. it doesn't tie her down to anything and it doesn't take away her agency. seduction from qimir's side may be a part of it but that doesn't negate the fact osha makes her own choice to allow him to teach her. she literally puts on the mask herself, it's not like he forced her to do that. she does that because she is desperate to find her true self once again.
she has so much agency in all her actions i think it's rather frustrating to see people reduce her character to 'she's falling for qimir's seduction because she's such a weak, passive character' like do you hear yourselves... in my opinion the show has made a great point of showing that osha, even if repressed and hesitant/presented as passive, will act out on her choices. and i think that's exactly what she's doing right now. she could've killed qimir, but she chose not to. after he opened up to her, her own empathy and curiosity led her to make that choice. even if she knows he's on the dark side, she still chooses to hear him out. she puts on the mask because she wants to. a part of her can see it could potentially give her what she always wanted: to be herself.
you could say qimir might seduce her to want codependency as this is something he seems to seek, but to imply osha has no agency is to disregard everything that has led her to this point in the story lol.
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lilacstro · 27 days
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astrocartography and relocation charts in astrology
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Hey!! I am clearing my drafts as much as I can before we start with Vedic astrology. This post would not be as big because there is overwhelming information on this topic as well, but let us see.
Astrocartography is a discipline of astrology that graphs out where planets were conjunct angles anywhere in the world at the moment of your birth. While relocation chart is a birth chart of a place if you were born there, what would your life look like.
These are very useful to see what place is best for you to travel, or relocate to for specific purposes like maybe education, finding a partner and so on..
NOTE: SKIP TO THE LAST SECTION IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO HAVE TOO DEEP INFORMATION ON HOW TO USE COMBINATION OF THESE CHARTS!!
🌐History and a little astronomical knowledge (skip if uninterested)
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There are two techniques to study this discipline. En Mundo and Zodiacal. En Mundo is what we use by default as this is what Jim Lewis the creator of astrocartography used. For some extra knowledge, (you can skip pass this section if you want to!) look below:
Image source: kepler college
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The basic difference is that En Mundo measures the planets relative to the celestial equator while the Zodiacal used Ecliptic. So basically the Zodiacal misses the declinations and the right ascensions (the 23 degree tilt basically). Now look at the charts below, the left one is En Mundo while the right one is Zodiacal. You can see how planets are in one line on the Zodiacal while the shift to different positions in the En Mundo chart.
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🌐How to use astrocartography and relocation charts
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🎀 here is how you can create relocation and astrocartography charts. I HIGHLY recommend using these in combination to have the best ideas of your experience at a particular place.
Know that your astrocartography map is based on your relocated birth charts. That’s the first, most important thing to know. Your birth chart shifts depending on where you are in the world. Meaning you have MANY charts for all of the places in the world! The natal planet and aspects of your chart don’t change, but the houses (areas of life), angles and aspects to those angles do. When you’re pulling up your astrocartography map, you’ll notice you have 44 lines criss-crossing across the globe. These lines show where the planets were situated on angles in the relocated chart.
You do not have to be situated right on a line to activate that story. You don’t have to live on a cruise ship and venture to the ocean to experience your astrocartography lines. Note where you have planetary lines and measure 150-200 miles surrounding it to see the strongest influence. 
Jim Lewis, the creator of Astrocartography, used 800 mile of an influence. most astrologers use 600 miles maximum, meaning you can feel effects of a line around 600-800 miles either side from where the line passes. Now the question is which side is the influence strongest? the answer likely is towards the west.
There’s a saying by Jim Lewis that “west was best” but it’s been said that moving west of a planetary line makes that planetary line more angular and dynamic, and moving east of a line places it in a more cadent position, which is less powerful.
However you can always see a relocation chart for the desired place to understand what is it that you want!
For example: Having planets in angular houses, the 2nd house and 6th house may be really good if you have been wanting a career success and recognition, having planets in 9th house is good for higher education and so on. You should see the location of chart ruler for more information on the main themes you can expect! The rising sign is incredibly important as well. I would not be making this too long because you can interpret your relocation chart very similarly to your natal chart, however let me know if you guys want a separate post on that one! I also recommend looking at the Vortex and Part of Fortune for more information.
Now let us see what do the lines on your Astrocartography map mean for you. Below would be an interpretation table for each lines, HOWEVER use these lines with accordance to your natal chart. If say you have Moon in 8th house, you could experience extreme emotional experiences along your Moon lines, and though depending on whether what type of line it is would make differences, your natal chart would still show effects.
For example if you have Uranus on your angular houses or maybe you are Aquarius rising or have Uranus in 1st, or aspects to Uranus like Uranus Trine Sun, Uranus lines passing through your birth country or where you live currently, you could either want to or struggle or maybe both for self expression and crave freedom, rebel. There was some actress whose chart I saw and she was very rebellious when she was in her home country and much better when she moved out, she had her Uranus lines passing through her birth country. It is worth mentioning that all aspects to Uranus are important, if I remember correctly, astrologer Noel Tyl used to take these very seriously.
Here is what astrologer Helena says:
We all have a fixed permanent astrocartography map based on when we were born. That never changes. But what does change is timing. Regardless if whether or not you’re in a nice location, if you have hard transits or progressions at that time, and hitting that location (and the angles of that new relocated chart), it will bring up challenging times. Progressions can last up to 3 years and transits can be as short as a few days to 3 years. Timing matters. Just as much as location. So if you’re wondering, “why am I having such a hard time in this location but I’m on a supported planetary line!” first ask yourself if you’ve looked at the relocated chart and parans, then ask yourself if you’ve looked at the timing.
(Parans are the latitude lines that are within 70-75 miles north and south. These crossings of lines create latitude lines that are a blend of two planets. Parans are incredibly powerful and can make or break a place. I would not be discussing them here since it is beyond what most people here would be willing to dedicate time to, however if anyone is curious they can study it themselves or I can make a post!)
🌐Meanings for each types of lines, AC, MC, DC and IC.
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AC (Ascendant) Lines:
Moon: Heightened intuition, emotional sensitivity, and connection to needs and heart. Strong emotional bonds but be cautious of neediness and psychological worry.
Sun: Vitality, creativity, self-expression, and ego increase. Ideal for networking, social connection, and personal relationships.
Mercury: Energy abounds! Expect mental agility, restlessness, and a love for travel, writing, and speaking. Social interactions are lively, and this is an excellent place for networking, learning, and sharing ideas.
Venus: Enhanced beauty and identity, ideal for romance, indulgence, and a relaxed lifestyle.
Mars: Increased leadership, motivation, and action. Caution advised for impulsivity, recklessness, and relationship challenges.
Jupiter: Optimism, expansion, and resilience are heightened. A lucky place where you may feel compelled to share wisdom, but watch for overconfidence.
Saturn: A serious, stoic outlook on life is adopted here. Increased responsibilities and leadership roles, but also potential physical strain. Relationships may feel monotonous and duty-bound.
Uranus: A place to break free from your identity and explore authenticity. Expect changes in lifestyle and possibly even physical appearance. Relationships may be interesting, spontaneous, and non-traditional.
Neptune: Life feels dreamy and romanticized, but also prone to confusion and escapism. Relationships here can be enchanting but may involve glamorization or projection.
Pluto: A transformative place where you explore your identity and inner power. Relationships can be intense, with themes of power dynamics and potential for conflict.
MC (Midheaven) Lines:
Moon: Excellent for compassionate service careers, fame, and emotionally led work. Caution against emotional thirstiness and people-pleasing.
Sun: Optimal for launching products, promotions, and realizing potential in work and vocation. High public profile and exposure.
Mercury: The ultimate career line for work in communication! Ideal for advancing in travel, media, sales, writing, teaching, and any field that involves communication.
Venus: Ideal for careers in design, beauty, fashion, and the arts. Recognition and public acknowledgment are common.
Mars: Great for daring, risk-taking careers, especially in entrepreneurship, training, and the military. Expect hard work and bold moves.
Jupiter: One of the luckiest places for career expansion, especially in publishing, travel, teaching, and spiritual work. Expect growth and new opportunities.
Saturn: Increased authority and responsibility in your career. Success comes from hard work and effort, though it can feel lonely at the top.
Uranus: Ideal for breaking new ground in careers involving science, technology, and entrepreneurship. Expect fluctuations and sudden changes in work and public image.
Neptune: A place for public visibility in careers related to media, spirituality, and healing, but be cautious of illusions and confusion in contracts and agreements.
Pluto: A powerful location for career transformation, often involving work in government, psychology, or disrupting and transforming industries. Be cautious of controlling bosses and authority issues.
DC (Descendant) Lines:
Moon: External situations reflect subconscious needs. Emotional relationships are likely, but watch for desperation or worry.
Sun: Opportunities for business, friendships, and personal relationships increase. Ideal for popularity and extroversion.
Mercury: Social butterfly energy abounds! You'll enjoy lively discussions, meet interesting people, and possibly start a client-based business. Great for flirting, gossiping, and learning from others.
Venus: Romance and pleasant relationships thrive. Likely to meet romantic partners or enjoy romantic getaways.
Mars: Challenges in relationships, with potential for breakups, confrontations, or aggression. Strong need for physical activity or training.
Jupiter: Relationships expand and grow, with the possibility of meeting uplifting people, teachers, or guides. Business partnerships may also flourish.
Saturn: Relationships may be slow and laborious, with a focus on duty and responsibility. Romantic partnerships could face delays and challenges.
Uranus: Relationships can be exciting, inspiring, and non-traditional but may also be unstable and unpredictable.
Neptune: Romantic and spiritual relationships thrive, but there's a risk of confusion, escapism, and projection. Stay grounded in your interactions.
Pluto: Intense, transformative relationships, with themes of power dynamics and psychological exploration. Be cautious of conflict and manipulation.
IC (Imum Coeli) Lines:
Moon: Deep connection to home and family life, with a focus on nourishment and settledness. Often a more private and comforting location.
Sun: A place to build a joyful private life and focus on self-expression at home. Ideal for settling down and family life.
Mercury: One of the best lines for working from home, writing projects, or exploring family lineage and the past. Local travel and community engagement are common.
Venus: Creates a love for domestic life, pleasure, and beauty in the home. Ideal for creative expression and local community involvement.
Mars: Home life may feel chaotic and busy. Not ideal for peace, but careers in risk-taking and pioneering thrive.
Jupiter: An ideal place for a joyful home life, personal hobbies, and retirement. Expect freedom and space to pursue your interests.
Saturn: Not the easiest place for family life, with a sense of duty and obligation. Maintenance, renovation, and feelings of being stuck or isolated may arise.
Uranus: A place for breaking away from family and tradition. Restlessness and frequent home changes are likely, so consider a trial visit before moving.
Neptune: A peaceful, dreamy location for healing and escaping reality, but be cautious with real estate investments and contracts.
Pluto: A location for deep psychological exploration of family roots and ancestry. Be wary of real estate investments and potential family conflicts.
Now I would yet again say this could be such a lengthy post but no one really has time for that. For example,
🎀people usually would suggest against travelling to your Pluto lines, however, if you have Pluto trine/conjunct Sun, you could benefit from travelling along your Pluto lines.
🎀Jupiter DSC lines can sometimes show the location of your spouse or maybe where would be the best place to find abundant love/partnerships.
🎀 I have often seen people having IC and ASC lines passing through their childhood home/birth country.
Now you can look up a combination of your relocation chart, natal chart-astrocartography chart to get a good idea of what your life could be at a place
I hope this helped,
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nohaijiachi · 11 months
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Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside
Before we get into the subject matter of the title let me preface a couple of things:
1- All that will follow is, big surprise, my opinion and my interpretation of this character. Do I think I am The One And Only Who Gets The Blorbo Right and that my ideas are 100% the way the author(s) intended to convey the character? No.
More likely than not the way I see Aziraphale could be intensely different from the way Authorman sees him, or Actorman sees him, and I don't think that my interpretation is necessarily any more correct than anybody's else.
That said, if I also did not think that I am, in fact, correct on a certain level, I wouldn't have bothered forming such a thought out opinion of Aziraphale in the first place, nor would be sitting here, writing this post that I can already tell is going to be entirely too long and might probably ruffle some feathers.
So I'll be writing the rest of this post with the caveat that I while I do think my interpretation correct, I'm also not trying to change anybody's mind nor to discredit anybody's else interpretation of Aziraphale. We can sit here in the sandpit and hold different opinions and still be able to build sandcastles together, it really isn't that deep at the end of the day; I can assure you, I'm not here to fight nor cause fights with this one.
2- With the above point, comes also the fact that I won't bother continuously saying "In my opinion" for the rest of this post. You already know that. So, if something will come across as a bit caustic, do know that it is very much tongue in cheek and I am poking a bit of fun at general fannish habits that I am also very much quote-unquoute 'guilty' of having partaken into, and will partake into again plenty of times in the future, I'm sure.
So, with that: Here's Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside
A large part of the people comprising this fandom prefers Crowley. There, I said it.
This fandom's preference blatantly skews toward Crowley. Can we admit that openly? Let's admit that openly.
To be clear, this isn't meant to be an accusation or recrimination or any other -ation you can think of, I am merely stating matter-of-factly a phenomena I've observed in the last four years.
It is also not a wrong nor bad thing in any way, shape or form. I adore Crowley myself. I love them both so much it's unreal.
But I started with that because I think it is very much a symptom of the fact that a lot of people don't get Aziraphale.
I remember back with S1 there had been plenty of times when I found myself reading discussions and opinion exchanges about Aziraphale and Crowley, their dynamics, all the things that went unsaid behind the things that were said, and found myself genuinely surprised by seeing how some people interpreted certain moments wildly different from how I personally saw them.
I look back at that and I think "Oh, sweet summer child". Nothing could have prepared me from the onslaught of takes about Aziraphale that make me go "Good lord, what???" in the wake of S2, and the infamous Last Fifteen.
Now because I don't want to be pointing fingers at specific things and risk upsetting somebody more than I already am by being open in admitting that, guys, yes, some of the takes y'all have been sharing make me go "Yikes(tm)", I'll move on the interesting part and what I would actually love to discuss, aka cracking Aziraphale's head open and see what that actual fuck is going on in there.
Another preface: Because this duo is intrinsically linked and woven together it is downright impossible to only focus on Aziraphale without also mentioning Crowley, so... Let me circle back to our fav demon bae for a sec, here.
I think the reason why it seems that a larger part of the fandom favors Crowley is because I feel like Crowley is a much easier character to grasp. He is very open in his thoughts and feelings, at any given moment us, the audience, have a much easier time watching a scene and sort of ruminating in the back of our heads about Crowley's motivations for saying the things he says and doing the things he does.
That isn't to say Crowley is a less complex character than Aziraphale. They are very much equally complex and multifaceted individuals with their strengths and weaknesses, their issues and the way they each cope with them, how differently they approach their existence and so on and so forth.
But whereas Crowley as a character presents itself with a certain dynamism and a far more outward openness about his complexity, Aziraphale does the exact opposite; we can say Aziraphale is downright hermetic about it.
For us, the audience, he presents a challenge that requires a good deal of thought being put into him to see over the facade he presents at a more superficial level; he requires time and effort to fully dismantle him in our minds to try and see what makes him thick (other than his thighs), and thus I think it is entirely natural that more people latch on the far easier to identify-with, and relate-to, Crowley.
And that is the inevitable consequence of everything that makes Aziraphale... Well, Aziraphale.
So, where to start? Let's try and jot down what Aziraphale truly is at his core.
He is a contradiction.
This man-shaped being is a walking contradiction, constantly existing in a state of being coated in three thousand layers of misdirection and obfuscation and double thinking.
Why is that? Well. He's an angel.
Aziraphale loves being an angel. It is a tenet of his entire existence and something he cherishes. He wants, so very much, to be his ideal of what a good angel is: An entity who is kind and loving and understanding and forgiving.
Of course us, the audience, know that is utter bullshit, because we know angels can be individuals just as complex as the humans Aziraphale loves so much, with all their inherent flaws and capability for cruelty. And, on a certain level, Aziraphale knows that too.
So there we have it, one element of contradiction: Aziraphale wants to think that angels are always Good and Righteous and Never Wrong; Aziraphale knows that angels aren't, in fact, always Good and Righteous and, by god, can they make plenty of mistakes, too.
What else? How about Aziraphale sitting there, being in love with a demon, fully knowing that at the end of the day demons really ain't that different from angels, and also desperately hanging onto the concept of Good vs Bad.
And he sits there, existing with these two contrasting idea equally taking space in his mind, neither side ever capable of taking over the other.
What else do we have? Aziraphale loves God and wants so hard to believe in Her love for humanity and Her ineffable plan, and Aziraphale also time and again does things that very blatantly go against Her will, lies to Her face, and Doubts. He Doubts, a lot, and that requires the capital letter because those Doubts are what spur him in going against everything he's ever told to believe in order to do the right thing.
Aziraphale's very existence is a constant push-and-pull of things he wants to believe and things he knows are real; things he's told to do and things he wants to do. That's how we get "My side" and "there's a bit of good in you" and "you are the bad guys".
And nothing he's lived through has managed to break him out of this unhealthy way of existing quite yet; that's why he acts the way we see him act in the Edinburgh flashback in S2, or at the start of S1 when Crowley has to ease Aziraphale into the idea of trying to stop Armageddon with the usual song and dance of "temptation" and "plausible deniability" and "you'd be thwarting me", even though from the start we can tell there's a little part of Aziraphale who is clearly not at ease with the idea of the end of the world, and once he's been given 'permission' by Crowley nudging him, he is all the way in with the whole saving the world business, not take-backsies.
Both the moments I mentioned here are very important for different reasons, but of the two is very much the Edinburgh flashback that gets a lot more flack by the fandom and is blatantly misunderstood, which I think is the inevitable consequence of that minisode immediately following the glorious, beautiful, heartbreaking piece of art that is the "A companion to owls" minisode.
I've seen a lot of people lamenting that Aziraphale acts obnoxiously in the Edinburgh flashback and, yeah. He does. But I feel like the fact that we are seeing this after watching Aziraphale struggle his way through saving Job's children, even being willing to go to Hell for it, is a though act to follow and probably soured Edinburgh-Aziraphale for a lot of people, made them think that the character had regressed instead of progressing.
But, see, the way he acts is wholly congruous with who Aziraphale is and has always been and keeps being up to the very end of S2. Yes, even after what he does for Job's children.
If you get down to it, Aziraphale had been ready to give up and let the children die, in episode 2. For a brief moment, after Crowley told him he 'longed to destroy the blameless children', Aziraphale was walking away, having tried all he thought he could try to do to stop this senseless act. That was until Crowley tested him by making the crows bleat, cuing Aziraphale to the fact that his impression of Crowley wasn't wrong, and the he could count on him to do the right thing.
To be clear, I don't want to undermine Aziraphale's action by only giving the credit to Crowley but... It is, also, only thanks to Crowley cajoling him and giving him the right excuses, that Aziraphale feels safe in doing what he's always wanted to do all along.
He'd wanted to save Job's children, and thought he couldn't until Crowley threw him that hell of a lifesaver. He wanted to save the world and thought he couldn't until Crowley nudged him on the path of plausible deniability.
He wanted to save Elspeth's eternal soul, blinding himself to the hardships she'd have to endure in her not-eternal life, and was smacked right in the face by the reality of human suffering multiple times.
The way Aziraphale acts in that flashback can't be a regression, because there never was a progression in the first place: He'd always walked the line between Heaven's and God's will and his own, personal morality and sense of justice.
By all means, if we look at Uz-Aziraphale and modern-day-Aziraphale at the start of S1, his reticence about the whole saving the world business should, by all means, appear as a regression as well. You mean to tell me that he'd been ready to become a demon for the sake of three mortal children, and then suddenly a handful of thousands years later when faced with the prospect of the whole world going up in flames he'd just be all like "Heaven will triumph over Hell and it will be all rather lovely"? Like, fuck off, Aziraphale, you lying double-thinker, you (/pos)
Aziraphale constantly exist while being at war with himself. Circumstances have allowed him to rebel the will of Heaven and God more or less safely time and again, but he never quite managed to break free entirely. He'd always ended up being reeled back in, being fed the party lines, being made to feel shame for his independent thinking, until it all becomes too much and he is forced to step back from that freedom he'd been inches away from grasping.
Back and forth, back and forth, never stopping.
And all of this, all of what he is, makes it so hard for us, the audience, to truly see him. To truly grasp him. To truly watch any given scene with him and figure out what he might be thinking or feeling.
To understand Aziraphale is to understand what he is not saying when he says something, which is a good deal harder to do than it is to understand and relate to a character like Crowley, who very much revel in saying exactly whatever the heck he thinks whenever he damn well pleases.
All those layers of obfuscation and misdirection and double thinking that Aziraphale coats himself in are as much an armor that makes it harder for the audience to understand him as they are his very own downfall because, good lord, if you exist like that, if you exist forced to keep things hidden from yourself, well... It's inevitable that at some point you are going to stumble into pitfalls of your own making.
And I love him for it.
So, there? I hope I managed to explain something with this post, and that it wasn't just the rambling of someone who spends way too much time thinking about her blorbos. To be clear, I don't think people who haven't spent as much time as me trying to dissect and better understand Aziraphale's character are like, dumber than me or anything. It's just that this pair of angelic-demonic blorbos take too much real estate in my mind, lol.
Feel free to let me know your opinion and if you think I am wildly off mark and my Take Is Bad. I might answer, I might not, it all depends on time and my mood ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜
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totesnothere04 · 3 months
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The Silence Didn't End, Until It Did
Tonowari x Deaf!Avatar!Reader x Ronal
Disclaimer: I don't own any fanart, screenshots, or gifs.
Warnings: Uh Idfk imagine going from hearing absolutely nothing your entire life to hearing everything.
Masterlist
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As soon as you're pulled out of your cryo-pod, you're greeted by a nurse signing to you.
"We're here." He signs and you sigh.
"Thank you." You sign back and he helps you out of your pod and you float over to your locker. You sadly set a hand on Tommy's locker since it was right next to yours, and you open your locker grabbing your things. Your eyes are caught by someone coming over and opening Tommy's locker and you have to do a double-take. He looked exactly like Tommy, but his legs had no muscle mass. This must be Jake. You sigh again, close your locker, and push off to get where you need to go.
Later after your shuttle landed you sit there watching what the interpreter is saying from the Colonel. You were bored, but you knew that this place wasn't a cakewalk. You were invaders so you knew the indigenous wouldn't be particularly accepting of humans.
But you were one of the lucky few who didn't have to be stationed at Hell's Gate. You were lucky enough to be stationed further away in the forest close to the ocean. You were a marine zoologist, and you couldn't pass up the opportunity to beable to come here and be out there.
The moment the interpreter signed to you that the safety briefing was over your bag was in your hand and you were out of the mess hall. Basically jogging over to the link room to meet THE Grace Augustine. A man greeted you when you entered the link room.
"Hello, I'm Max. I'll be helping you connect to your avatar tomorrow, and then you'll be sent to your station afterwards." Max signs to you and you smile excitedly.
"I'm so excited, I'm sure you understand just how excited I am." You sign to him and based off of the exhale of breathing and the movement of his shoulders he chuckled.
"I get it. I really do, but as beautiful as this planet can be it can be very dangerous. Just keep that in mind." Max signs and leads you over to a link pod. "Any minute now, Grace Augustine is going to be coming out of this pod. But I'll have you standing with us in the center of the room so that you don't crowd her when she first comes out." You nod along and move with him over to the center of the room and look at all of their monitors in awe. After a moment her link pod opens and she walks over to meet two men. Both of which you know will be joining the avatar program. Norm takes notice of you and waves.
"Hey (Y/n). I didn't see you in the mess hall." Norm signs and wave off his words.
"I sat in the back with my interpreter. I'm just ready to be at my station." You sign to him and he smiles and nods. Grace looks at you and smiles.
"You must be (Y/n). I'm excited to beable to read your reports. From your grades and your simulation hours, I can tell that you will be an amazing addition to the avatar program." Grace signs and you smile bashfully.
"I'm just ready to be at my workstation and learn everything I can about the marine life here." You sign to her and she smiles.
"Be here bright and early and be ready, because this is going to be an experience." Grace signs to you and you give her two excited thumbs up and grab your bag to go to your temporary bunk. As you pass the lab the blue glow catches your eye and you go inside. The first avatar is Tommy's, the next is Norm's avatar... Then yours. You smile wide and go over to yours and watch her twitch occasionally.
The teal blue of her skin contrasts with Norm and Tommy's avatars, and her hair is a different consistency. Longer, thicker, and softer looking and you already start thinking of the different ways you could style her hair so it doesn't get in your eyes. Her wide limbs were there to make gliding through the water much easier, and her thicker tail for better propulsion. You leave the lab feeling way too excited for tomorrow.
The next morning you were up early and dressed ready to go. You leave your temporary bunk to go grab breakfast and after you finish eating you're in the link room.
Max greets you and leads you over to a link pod. You calibrate it and take a deep breath as you sit down in it and lie down. Max puts everything in place and you reach up and pull down the lid. A moment later your eyes close and you wake up slowly, but something is off.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Your brows furrow in confusion and suddenly they're above you shining a bright light in your eyes.
"Pupilary reflex is good." The woman says and your eyes blow wide. The man notices and snaps in your ears and you flinch at the noise.
"(Y/n) can you hear us?" The man asks and through your shock, you start reading their lips to associate words with the way they sound, you manage to nod.
"I can hear..." You sign to them and they both smile widely. Approximately 5 minutes later you're sat up on the bed when Norm's avatar stirs and your ears perk toward the noise of his shuffling. When he sits up he looks over at you and smiles.
"This is awesome." Norm signs and you nod.
"I can hear." You sign to him and his face drops in shock.
"Really?" Norm asks outloud and you nod.
"Now I just need to learn to speak." You sign to him and he waves a hand.
"You're smart. It's easy to talk, you'll get it in no time." Norm says and you giggle, but your eyes widened after you did.
"That's what my laugh sounds like?" You sign and Norm nods.
"Yeah. Tommy and I always thought it was cute." Norm says with a chuckle. Your conversation ended abruptly when To-Jake started to stir and you watched with curiosity. After only being linked to his avatar body for a few moments he starts to get up and your eyes go wide as you watch him detach all the IV's and monitoring equipment and run out of the airlock. Norm follows behind Jake, but you remain seated with a raised brow.
The two scientists close the airlock when they return from trying to keep up with Jake and they return to you.
"Alright (Y/n). Let's get you up and ready." The woman says and the man takes that as his cue to leave. She pushes a cart over to you and you gladly get dressed and ready to go and soon enough you're out of the airlock too. You're met by an older ocean avatar and he smiles at you.
"(Y/n), I'm so excited to get to know you." He signs happily.
"I'm excited too! But I wanted to let you know I can hear you... I can hear everything." You sign to him and his eyes go wide and he smiles.
"Even better. I'll teach you to speak Na'vi first." He says with a laugh. "Come on let's get you used to these legs." He says as he leads you off to an obstacle course.
The next day you step off the Samson with your mentor and you look around you in awe. The ocean a few miles away was a beautiful blue, the sand a pure light tan nearly white, and the grass around you was green. You smile brightly at the scene around you, but your admiring is cut short by a hand waving in your face.
"Sorry... Forgot you were in your human body and not your avatar." Your mentor signed and he had a sheepish look on his face.
"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention... It so much more beautiful than I thought it would be." You sign to him and he smiles and nods.
"And to think.... At one point Earth looked like this." Your mentor signed as he looked out over the scenery sadly. "Anyway... Let's get you set up." He signs as he leads you into the mobile units. Three small portable buildings clustered together and when you walked in there was only one other scientist there. She jumped up quickly and waved excitedly.
"Hello! I'm Kira a marine biologist." Kira signs excitedly.
"Hello, Kira. I'm (Y/n) and I can't wait to get started." You sign to her and she nods.
"You'll love it here, trust me. I never want to leave." Kira signs and as quickly as she appeared to you she disappears into the buildings.
As you settled into your new surroundings and got used to the schedule for studying, Kira and your mentor, Steve, taught you to speak Na'vi. You picked up on it so fast that soon enough you were having full conversations with them fluently.
Currently, however, you are enjoying some free time. The sounds of the waves crashing on the shore and the animals in the nearby forest were relaxing. You took a deep breath and got up from your seated position on the sand. You waded into the water and dove in being careful of the possible dangers within.
Even under the water, you could hear everything. The chitter of the animals under the water, the flowing of the water, and the sound of rocks shifting with the tides. Everyday you became more enraptured with the world around you, and you started to dread when your 6 years were up. You couldn't stand the thought of leaving such a beautiful lively planet to return to one filled with so much ugly. The tall buildings you once thought were beautiful and strong, now seemed disgusting in your memories compared to what you were seeing everyday now.
In your deep state of thinking you didn't notice a Tsurak, or Skimwings, as humans call them, swimming toward you. You turned startled slightly when you felt something nudge your back. You came face-to-face with the Tsurak and you felt your blood run cold. When claimed by a rider they don't attack Na'vi unless prompted to, but this one didn't have a saddle. You freeze in place waiting for it to make its move, but it never moves to attack you. It only nuzzles the end of its nose into your stomach, so you bring your hands up to pet its muzzle. It starts pushing you back to shore and you have to suppress the giggles since it was tickling you. You finally stood up when you reached an area where you were still in the ocean up to your waist.
"(Y/n)!" Steve calls out as he comes out of the mobile unit. You turn to look at him and your new Tsurak friend floats up to the surface of the water.
"Yes, Steve?" You ask him in Na'vi and he freezes after taking a step when he sees the Tsurak.
"(Y/n)... very slowly walk out of the water." Steve says and you chuckle and shake your head.
"Steve this is my new friend." You tell Steve with a smile and pet the Tsurak's head.
"Okay..." Steve says slowly. "I got a status update from Max... They're attacking the Omatikaya Hometree today." Steve says sadly and your expression drops as well. You go to open your mouth to speak when something wet and slightly slippery smacks you in the face. Confused and slightly annoyed you look down to see that the Tsurak has its tswin sticking out of the water expectantly. Steve becomes amazed, moves a little closer, and crouches.
"Oh my god..." Steve says quietly as he watches the two infront of him. You slowly reach behind you and pull your tswin forward, and bring it to meet the Tsurak's. When the small pink nerve endings meet they bind together and suddenly everything feels different. You got the sudden urge to hang on for dear life and did so. Which proved to be a good idea since the Tsurak took off swimming quickly in what felt like a familiar direction to it. When your lungs start to burn in protest for air the Tsurak changes its direction to go for the surface. When it breaks the surface its wings spread and it flies above the water. You take a deep breath letting the scent of the ocean air flow into your lungs and you laugh happily as you watch the ocean fly by.
Hours later the Tsurak dives into the water for probably the 15th time when you get close to an island, but after a minute it pops back up above the water. When you get to the shallows he stops and you slide off of him and disconnect your tswins. He swims off quickly and you sigh, unsure of where you are or why he brought you here. You turn to go inland to try to find somewhere to safely stash your avatar, but quickly put your hands up in surrender. Behind you are several clan members with their weapons drawn and pointed at you. The tallest Na'vi man you had ever seen walks through the crowd shortly followed by a shorter female Na'vi.
"Why have you come to us, tawtute?" The female asks and you nervously gulp.
"I didn't mean to... The Tsurak approached me while I was swimming, offered to bond with me, and brought me here." You say honestly and she slowly walks around you. She picks up your arm and lets it fall to your side. Then she tugs on your tail and hums quietly. Then she picks up your tswin, twirls it in her hand once, then drops it. She returns to the man's side and the two have a silent conversation. Occasionally their eyes would wander back to you and they almost seemed... Intrigued?
"Come." The woman says and comes back over to you wrapping an arm around your back, guiding you.
"Everyone, return to your duties." The man says and follows behind the two of you. They lead you to a shelter and tell you what each thing inside is for.
"Why... are you treating me nicely?" You ask confused. "I'm human, my race hasn't exactly been good to yours."
"Just as not all Na'vi are bad, not all humans can be." The man says.
"There is a reason your Tsurak approached you. A gifted one that was given to us by the Great Mother." The woman says and you suddenly remember what Steve told you before you were whisked away, so to speak.
"Wait... I need to go help Max." You say hurriedly and the two seem confused. "Right before I bonded with my Tsurak, my mentor, Steve, told me that the RDA was about to attack the Omatikaya Hometree. I need to go help stop it."
"What?" The woman asks angrily.
"The people that brought me here to Pandora, they were about to attack the Omatikaya People's Hometree." You say hurriedly and she shakes her head.
"I sense that you are not a fighter. There is not much that you would beable to do to help." The woman says and you sigh sadly and your ears droop. You know what she's saying is true, you're not a fighter, you study things you learn about them. In no way had you ever been taught to fight or even shoot a gun.
"Here, you are safe and you do not have to fight." The man says and you shake your head.
"Maybe my avatar is, but my human body is still back in the mainland." You tell them, they look at eachother and sigh.
"We will start training you tomorrow." The man says and the woman agrees.
"Wait... what are your names?" You ask them.
"I am Tonowari, Olo'eyktan of the Metkayina." 'Tonowari' introduces himself.
"And I am Ronal, Tsahík." 'Ronal' introduces herself as well.
"I'm (Y/n)." You introduce yourself to them. Ronal and Tonowari share a small smile and they leave you alone in the hut they took you to.
A few days later you link with your avatar with a heavy heart. Knowing you will most likely be sent back to Earth with some of the other scientists and humans. When you link you got up and stretched then made your way to find Tonowari or Ronal or both. It really depended on who you would find first. When you spot them they are in deep conversation, speaking quietly to one another.
"Good morning Tonowari, good morning Ronal." You greet them and they immediately cease their conversation and look up to you.
"(Y/n), good morning. Come join us for breakfast." Tonowari says and you take a seat across from them and Ronal hands you a leaf with breakfast in it.
"We were just discussing if we wanted to have you train with Ronal today or if I would continue training you to hunt." Tonowari says and you sigh sadly.
"I'm sorry, but I'm most likely going to be sent back to Earth soon." You say sadly.
"Why?" Ronal asks her voice angry.
"The humans have waged war against the Omatikaya... The last I heard anything was earlier when one of the scientists at the main base told us that the military leader was preparing for an attack on the Tree of Souls." You tell them with a frown. Tonowari immediately stands and shakes his head.
"No... You are Metkayina. You stay on Eywa'eveng." Tonowari says and you shake your head.
"I won't have a choice." You tell him quietly, but he doesn't respond. He simply grabs his spear and walks out of his marui, a few of his best warriors falling to his side as he walks away. You look at Ronal in confusion and she just gives you a reassuring smile.
"Then it is decided... You will train with me today. I'm going to start with the easy part of healing, making bandages." Ronal says with a smile and after you both finish breakfast, she leads you to the healer's marui.
Hours later you're learning to make a salve to help calm down the effects of Stinging Coral when you feel your consciousness being pulled back to your human body. You have enough time to feel your body start to collapse, but you're back in your human body before you make contact with the ground.
You sigh sadly and get out of the linkpod. Nothing. That's all you could hear, it's all you could feel. Suddenly a hand is shoved in your face and waved to catch your attention. You look up with an angry expression, hating it when people get your attention that way.
"(Y/n), you and Kira are leaving." Steve signs and you feel your spirits fall once more. "Tonowari and a few of his warriors are here to take you with them." Steve sign quickly when he realizes you thought you were being sent back to Earth.
"Kira is going too?" You ask him and he nods.
"One of the warriors took a liking to her so she's going too." Steve explains and you nod. You feel a smile creep across your lips and you quickly go over, grab an oxygen mask, and take off running out of the airlock. Kira is already outside talking to Tonowari and the others when you get out there. Kira sees you and quickly turns and says something to Tonowari and his men. When you get close enough Tonowari turns to Kira and says something to her.
"Tonowari says that he couldn't stand the thought of you being forced to go back, when he feels that you belong with him and his people." Kira says and you smile wide and look at Tonowari.
"I will admit I have not been with them for long but I feel like Awa'atlu is where I belong." You tell Kira and she turns and talks to Tonowari. He offers you his hand and leads you to the water where their Tsuraks are all waiting. And soon enough you're riding off in the direction of Awa'atlu... Your home.
15 Years Later
The horns blared signaling visitors to Awa'atlu and Ronal looked at you worriedly. Ever since it was confirmed you were pregnant both she and Tonowari had been overprotective.
"You should stay here." Ronal says as she gets up but you roll your eyes and standup as well.
"It will be alright Ronal. I can protect myself and both you and Tonowari will be there." You say and move to leave the healers marui.
"Yawne, this is your first child with us. I want you to be safe." Ronal argues softly.
"As I said I will be safe. You and Tonowari will be here." You say in return again and nearly bounce your way down the walkways, Ronal begrudgingly following behind you.
When you get to where your clan is gathered around 5 ikrans. Your ears perk forward as the crowd splits for you and Ronal. Your head cocks to the side as you recognize Jake.
"Jake Sully." You say in surprise and you approach him, Ronal quietly protesting.
"(Y/n)?" Jake asks in surprise. "What- How-" Jake stammers and you shrug.
"We both chose our people." You say casually and you feel a large muscular arm wrap around your shoulders. You turn to find Tonowari and a smile comes across your features at seeing your other mate.
"Jake Sully. I take it you already know of my second mate?" Tonowari questions and Jake's jaw nearly falls off him.
"I met her once a long time ago, but I didn't know she was your second mate." Jake admits.
"I was there the first time he connected to his avatar." You tell Tonowari and snicker at Jake's embarrassed expression.
"Why have you come to us?" Ronal finally asks, obviously done with dancing around the subject.
"We've come seeking uturu." Jake says and you feel Tonowari's muscles in his back tighten.
"Uturu?" Ronal says astonished by the request.
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milquetoast27 · 11 months
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The Secret of Sherlock Holmes
GRANADA FANS. If you have not heard of this play, NOW IS THE TIME TO HEAR ABOUT IT. I'd been saving it for a rainy night and it was SOO good 😭😭Please allow me to elaborate.
[heads-up, there are no video recordings of it. I listened to the audio and followed along with the script. Not ideal, but still gave me a vivid image of what was happening on-stage.]
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The nuance between screen and stage allows the actors to achieve different effects that are not possible with an on-screen adaptation. Characters do not turn to the camera and just tell you their innermost thoughts, but they can in a stageplay- and it's here that we really get to hear Brett and Hardwicke's ideas about Holmes and Watson- not much of it was unfamiliar as I'd read most of Brett's views in interviews, but it was really cool to get that confirmed in an official production that he worked on. Honestly, Brett had that feeling of "I can fix him" that I think exists in all of us Holmes fans, and totally went for it. The canon (and the Granada series) is rife with subtleties and 'show, don't tell', but it is honestly refreshing for once, to have such powerful emotion depicted dramatically and audaciously on a stage. It is all too often throughout the stories that Holmes and Watson are awfully reticent about their feelings. This play is an explosion of their private thoughts that leads to finally, thankfully, a wonderful reconciliation. I love it so much as it clearly advocates for open communication being a vital factor for a good friendship. There's a good reason for why that never happened in the canon; I think it has a lot to do with the shyness and reticence of the English, and I would not be surprised most particularly with Victorian men. But Holmes and Watson do still have their moments in the canon (e.g. 3GAR & FINA), and it's what makes them stand out so shockingly much in their time.
I appreciate that this play gives us viginettes of Holmes and Watson's life together all the way up to The Final Problem. It not only sets us up for the climax later, but also shows us specifically Brett's Holmes and Hardwicke's Watson. There were changes made from the original stories, and yet felt so wonderfully in-character and flowed really well through the actors. The play exclusively stars Brett and Hardwicke, and the purpose of redoing scenes from the canon, such as STUD, NAVA, or CHAS was to highlight the status in their relationship, for example Holmes's displeasure at Watson's marriage and subsequent loneliness- important scenes that communicate Holmes's dependence on Watson. These small glimpses also give us the much-needed humour for any balanced Holmes production! It not only communicates the warm and light moments that they shared, but also helps us get more invested in this particular pair on the stage, which is still vital, even if we're already attached to the characters.
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The implications that arise from Brett's portrayal of Holmes is fascinating. He admits that he'd have been dead within two years without Watson, without the indispensible role he played in controlling his addiction and mental state. He admits of the lonely and awful childhood he shared with his brother. The fact that Holmes comes forward and tells us this himself suggests he is very psychologically aware of himself and how his mind works. He understands why he has addictions, the reasons for his barriers and difficulty with emotional vulnerability. Assuming Holmes is very interested in the criminal psyche, but also his own due to his eccentricities, it makes so much sense that he would psychoanalyse himself to this degree, but also be frustrated with how little he is able to move from his rigid mindset. This interpretation works so wonderfully for Brett's Holmes, and I am so glad for this portrayal he has given us. When it comes to canon Holmes, however, I feel that this is more likely to be unconscious. I can never shake how much of Brett is actually within his Holmes. While his comes close to the original, I still see them as separate people. Granada's adaptation tends to play up Holmes's melancholy/depression a little too far for me, like a far-away, mythical creature that can never be understood, because we never get much of an opportunity to see what he really feels (perhaps Eligible Bachelor or Master Blackmailer might come close). But I feel that almost defeats the character. To me, Holmes is flawed and troubled, but he is simply human. The Secret of Sherlock Holmes portrays this fact wonderfully, because all of those feelings are rising to the surface.
We move further into speculation, but I think Brett's Holmes has also a fairly healthy understanding of the difference between social constructs and necessities, which take more importance in a queer/neurodivergent reading of him. He understands that his upbringing was due to an "accepted convention", and we see time and again how Holmes disregards social conventions or constructs and does his own thing. It's why he gets frustrated at others for not understanding him, but also accepts that it will never come easily to people. That's why he's very lucky for Watson (and Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade!) :)
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Holmes's darker emotions, and Watson's fierce devotion are displayed most prominently throughout. When Watson comments on Holmes's childhood, Holmes lies about it, woeing internally over how much he conceals, to even someone as close to him as Watson. He privately shares his desire to be "found out", because sharing his feelings to Watson is too difficult. His friend takes his word for it, appreciative of the times Holmes is able to speak frankly about himself. Holmes wants to be open, and Watson wants to listen, but it's Holmes's barriers preventing it. This feeling and experience is so raw and human, and something I would imagine would resonate with many people.
The latter half of the play focuses primarily on Holmes's cocaine addiction. Pastiche writers really like that sore spot, huh. Watson's perceptiveness and powers of observation are on full force in this play. Watson can tell when Holmes is high (as a medical man, most likely), and even deduced that Holmes may still be living by Mycroft's body language. But when it came to Holmes's return from the Great Hiatus...
Something that canon Watson seems to completely forget is his anger towards Holmes. In the story, he is so star-struck and relieved that he barely considers any other feeling. Hardwicke does briefly touch on this in the Granada episode with "I thought I would be as trustworthy as your brother," but it really doesn't go further than that. In The Secret of Sherlock Holmes, Hardwicke goes FULL FORCE. This is what we needed!!! It was a powerful, hair-raising performance. When Holmes has clearly not understood the harm he has done, Watson leaves. Actually slams the door. And when he returns, he makes it very clear to Holmes why he is hurt. And yet, his devotion remains, for when Holmes starts explaining his creation of Moriarty, it takes a while before Watson is fully convinced. Watson is extremely compassionate and empathetic, yes, but he's also very grounded and level-headed, and he must draw the line somewhere. It doesn't take him long to forgive Holmes, but he knows his anger has a place in that room, and allows it to be. I appreciate that it's taken just as seriously as Holmes's troubles.
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The only reason either Holmes or Watson are able to communicate so finely with each other- even through shouting and crying- is because of their emotional awareness. It's what makes their relationship work, because they are both aware of how much they mean to each other. When they move past the difficulty of sharing such feelings, their bond grows stronger.
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black00olive · 2 months
Text
With you, always (unfortunately)
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A/N: Reader can be interpreted as any gender
Pairing: Lucifer x reader
Wordcount: ~1,300 (very lightly proof-read)
Summary: It was Lucifer’s turn to cook dinner but student council work had forced the two of you to stay back late. So, instead you propose the idea of buying some takeout on your way home for everyone. As always with your wonderful ideas, Lucifer agrees and the two of you head to Hell's Kitchen. However, as he opens his wallet to pay for our giant order (the curse that comes with living with the Avatar of Gluttony) something catches your attention— rather a photo tucked safely into a clear slot of his wallet. A photo of you. There's no way you're not going to take this opportunity to tease the hell out of him. Or, Lucifer keeps a photo of you in his wallet and quickly grows very embarrassed when you point it out. In public, as well.
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The unfortunate side effect of becoming part of the student council is days like these. Granted, you had willingly agreed to stay after with Lucifer at RAD to finish up some of the work for the upcoming event (which event was it now again? Diavolo holds so many you can barely keep track of them anymore) but that wouldn’t stop you from complaining a little. In your mind of course. You gather the papers Lucifer had finished going over and put them in their respective folders. Silence fills the room as the two of you harmoniously work to at least make a little dent in the giant pile of paperwork. Why do these events always result in so much paperwork?
As if Lucifer could sense all the complaining you were doing in your mind he speaks up: “Let us wrap it up here.” Shock is the primary emotion that takes over once you process his words— glee being the secondary emotion. Lucifer, workaholic, Morningstar is willingly not working on the paperwork until you force him to stop? You glance at the pile of paperwork that had just barely changed in size since you had started then turn your gaze back at him.
“I can tell you’re growing tired with all of the paperwork, soon enough you would start whining about it out loud,” he sighs as you send him a glare, a little offended at how accurate he was. “And furthermore, I am incharge of dinner tonight. We’ve already stayed out far too long for me to make a proper dinner, we stay out any later and we might end up with Beel destroying the house again.” You accept that, you had wanted to head home as soon as possible anyway. Lucifer straightens out his uniform as you subconsciously end up doing the same, not missing the small smirk that forms at his lips once he notices.
“Hey, let’s just buy some takeout on our way home. I’ll be quicker and the sooner we get Beel food the better, y’know?” You suggest, Beel isn’t the only reason you suggested it though. You can tell Lucifer is quite tired himself and cooking for what could basically count as 16 people is something that takes a lot of energy. However, if you were to point that out he would glare at you, claim that he’s the furthest thing from tired, and stubbornly cook a dinner for 32 people instead.
“Alright,” he nods, “you’re right that the sooner we get food to Beel the better. So, I suppose we can have takeout today. Let us pass by Hell’s Kitchen then.”
We enter Hell’s Kitchen as servers rush past. No surprise, they are a very popular restaurant. You follow as Lucifer heads up to the register. Effortlessly he starts listing his and each of his brothers’ favourite orders, Beel’s order taking about twice as long as all of the brothers’ orders combined. The worker’s face grows paler and paler as Lucifer continues without pause. Once he finally finishes he turns towards you and you say your order. The poor worker hesitantly repeats our order back to us and Lucifer nods as he pulls out his wallet. Mammon must have been rubbing off on you too much as your attention instantly strays to the wallet as you look at everything he keeps in there. Several different credit cards— Goldie included—, some receipts, and a couple of membership cards for different services’. That’s all to be expected in the wallet of someone like Lucifer, but what really catches your attention this time is a photo. Tucked safely into one of the flaps of the wallet that has a clear side.
What catches your attention even more is the fact that the photo is of you. Just you. It would have made sense if it was a family photo, with you and his brothers, but nope. You feel a smirk pull at the corner of your lips at the same time you feel your heart melt a little at the prospect that Lucifer had wanted to keep you with him at all times. Your urge to tease him about it was just as strong as your urge to coo at him. Satisfyingly, both would be equally as embarrassing to Lucifer.
Lucifer puts his wallet away after he finishes paying and the two of you go to stand further away as you wait for the unfortunate workers to finish your order. You have enough self-restraint to not point it out right in front of the worker and wait until you are at least a little more obscure from all of the other guests when you point it out. “It’s really cute of you to keep a picture of me in your wallet, Luci.” Of course, being a little more obscure didn’t mean that demons weren’t keenly paying attention to the two of you (when you’re out attention tends to always be on you anyway), both the curse and blessing of being a part of the Student Council. A blessing in this case as Lucifer knows just as well as you that the demons are desperate for anything they could gossip about, and in your opinion “Lord Lucifer keeps a picture of the newest Student Council Officer, the former human exchange student, in his wallet at all times?!” is a great header for the tabloids.
Lucifer glares at you, probably both for pointing out the picture and for using that nickname out in public, as he scoffs. “I do not keep a photo of you in my wallet, we must get your eyes checked soon. Humans shouldn’t be seeing things that are not there.” You roll your eyes at his response, you know very well what you saw and he wasn’t going to make you seem insane. As quickly as possible with your human body you grab onto his uniform and reach for his pocket where he kept his wallet. Lucifer is faster though, not super shocking news, and grabs onto your wrist. It doesn’t hurt, you note as you try to free yourself, but you really aren’t given any wiggle room here.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He sighs as you try to get your wrist out of his hold again, to no avail.
“I was going to grab your wallet,” you say as nonchalantly as if you were talking to him about the weather, “I mean, if I was really seeing things you should be okay with me checking your wallet, right?” A deep scowl starts to form on his face as you continue to press him with a face full of mock shock. “Unless…” You gasp. “You were lying to me, Luci? Don’t tell me you were trying to gaslight me! Really, what am I supposed to do with you? There’s no need to be ashamed of keeping a picture of me in your wallet. Really, I support it, I know you can be pretty desperate and clingy so this way you can still keep me with you at all times,” you tease him.
Lucifer’s scowl deepens even more— you didn’t know how that was possible— as he practically sends you a death glare. You’re sure that if you had been anyone else you would have withered away on the spot, but you’re not anyone else and you can tell he’s just trying to hide how flustered he is. “You humans always spout such inane things,” is all he says as he lets go of your hand. You carefully note how he hadn’t really disagreed with what you had said. Of course he wouldn’t, you both know nothing you had said had been nothing but the truth. You also manage to catch how the tips of his ears are bright red before he quickly walks to the pick-up area.
“Our order isn’t ready yet. You know that right, Luci?”
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rubberduckyrye · 5 months
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Okay in all seriousness. There's something that I REALLY want to talk about as an open discussion with the fandom, but. This is not going to be a very nice thing to hear/talk about.
It's about how Gonta is treated by the fandom.
As a fan of all the V3 characters now, and as someone who has always been a fan of Gonta, and as someone who has many mental disabilities and two diagnosed neurodivergancies... I'm tired of playing nice about it.
You all need to stop being ableist towards Gonta.
I've mentioned in the past that I don't like shitting on personal interpretations. I don't like saying something is or is not canon because narration is just a big web of text that you try to decipher with your own personal biases, experiences, and thoughts. That's why two literary analysts analyzing the same text with the same literary criticism rules can come to wildly different conclusions--why people develop different headcanons from the same canonical information.
But one of the things that challenged my integrity is just how many people view Gonta as this innocent, naive, ignorant, baby boy who can do no harm/never has a complicated/dirty/violent/sexual thought in his life ever.
This incredibly ableist interpretation of the character bothered me for, well, obvious reasons (See: It's fucking ableist, need I say more?) but I never challenged it as harshly as I am now because to be frank, it's not my place to tell people how to HC a character. It still isn't. But I've pretty much given up on my integrity on the subject and have decided to go all in on discussing why this interpretation of Gonta is just. Really bad.
First of all, not to promote my own analyses here or anything, but I think this analysis I did of Gonta explains a LOT in regards to the ableism the cast gives him in canon. I also think that this subtle ableism is why the fandom is so bad with Gonta's characterization in headcanons and fanfic--because they've seen how the cast treats him, and they think it's normal. They don't see the microaggressions, they don't see the subtle ableism in the cast--they just see this big giant idiot who speaks like Tarzan in the English version (which... I don't actually know why people assume Tarzan (Thinking of Disney's version) is stupid. Like as a boy he had to reinvent the spear with no one to guide him on how to do it. He was able to strategize and outsmart "civilized" men in the final showdown. Still I digress) and don't see the literal genius behind his social awkwardness.
There is also another very important point I'm going to make in addition to this, and it's going to be very uncomfortable to Gonta fans who insist he's nothing but a sweet baby who only has pure thoughts. Especially to the fans who insist he "can't be sexual" or think it's weird to ship him with his peers.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but... Gonta blatantly has sexual desire and gets horny right in canon.
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This is further clarified here:
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It wasn't a matter of Gonta didn't want to touch her because touching someone in their underwear was inappropriate, or being flustered because she was in her underwear which is inappropriate...
It was literally a "weird feeling" that made him unable to approach her or touch her. A "weird feeling" that Miu makes pretty obvious as to what it was--sexual arousal.
He literally was sexually attracted to and felt sexual arousal from looking at Miu in her underwear. He had sexual feelings and thoughts about Miu. Why?
Because Gonta is a young man.
Gonta is a brilliant, talented young man who has normal human thoughts for someone his age--sexual desires, upsetting thoughts, complicated thoughts, ectect. He is not a child, he is not mentally stunted (I've been informed that people have literally said this on Ao3 for the NSFW Gonta fics, please for the love of god stop that)
I think the reason why Gonta fans typically want to keep him as a "pure baby child who can do no wrong" is because treating him like the young adult that he is makes it harder for them to justify Chapter 4. Every time I've seen a Gonta fan that hates Kokichi, it's always followed by the sentiment of "Kokichi manipulated and abused Gonta into killing Miu, so it's all Kokichi's fault." They're afraid of nuance and liking a character with the grey morality of genuinely thinking Mercy Killing the cast is a viable option, because it challenges their own morals about the character they adore.
To those people who read this and are upset: You can and should like Gonta! Gonta is a magnificent character who showcases the subtle way microaggressions can manifest and hurt people, he's a good-hearted person and a literal genius, he cares deeply for his friends and loves everyone with upmost sincerity.
But.
You need to re-evaluate your stance on Gonta if you think he's a stupid, naive fool who Kokichi manipulated. You need to re-evaluate why you think those thoughts, why you think Gonta being shipped with anyone is "Kinda weird" or "has weird consent problems" or "give you the ick." You have to challenge yourself and ask yourself uncomfortable questions in regards to why you treat Gonta like a child when canon has proven otherwise, why you think he cannot have violent or sexual thoughts, why he can't think mercy killing his class is the only way to save them.
This isn't an attack on you--but understand that these specific takes on Gonta? They are ableist in nature. They belittle and dismiss him, they treat him like a child, an idiot who can't think for himself--and you have to come to terms with the fact that Gonta is a far more complex character with complicated thoughts and feelings who is a young adult. Not a child. A young adult.
So again, ask yourself this: Why are you treating this young adult like he's a toddler?
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aimfor-theheart · 6 months
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Why is it that dc such as r@pe, sa, and incest is totally okay to write about and romanticize but y’all draw the line at racism, fat phobia, and homophobia *talking about the writings creators make, not personal beliefs*? Whats the difference between these things? All of them are hurtful and affect people in real life, so why is everybody on here choosing and picking one and not the other? Do writers on here think that they are not comparable or that one is okay to romanticize and the other is going way too far?
Im just genuinely curious as I have seen this topic be brought up again and again, which has made me realize this and Id like to see it from someone else's pov.
hi! there is a lot to answer and unpack here and i have every intention of doing so underneath the cut. forgive me if this gets long, but you’ve asked me 4 very massive questions that i think warrant detail, nuance, and thought. there is a lot i’d like to say here.
that being said, mind the content warnings and protect yourself.
cw: mentions of rape, incest, racism, homophobia, fat phobia, discourse in general
firstly, i am going to choose to give you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you are actually curious in hearing another side and you are not simply looking to stir a pot or pick a fight with beliefs you have no intention of changing or having an open discussion on. your accusatory tone in the first half indicates otherwise and kindly, i am not an idiot. but i want to earnestly talk to you about this and again, will think better of you than you perhaps have indicated you think of me.
secondly, you do not have to censor words like rape in my inbox. that sort of censorship has become wildly popular because of tik tok and other money-hungry social media that also desperately want to silence people. do you know why you have to censor words like that on tik tok? or words like genocide? suicide? racism? 1. so that they can make money and market and push their squeaky clean algorithms but 2. and perhaps worse, so they can silence victims. if social media platforms and capitalism and the systems of powers had it their way, you would never utter these words again—whether to call someone out for justice or to have an open discussion like this one. i encourage you greatly to think critically about this and how you choose to use censorship and why.
now, to your questions.
to preface, i am interpreting this ask as being anti-dark content in fiction as you state that ALL these subjects harm people in real life. or at least, you are being critical of all dark content in fiction and the way writers engage with them, effectively ‘picking and choosing’ which are deemed acceptable and which aren’t, when they are all hurtful. i apologize if that wasn’t your intention/what you believe, but regardless, i’ll endeavor to answer you.
i personally have drawn no lines about dark content nor spoken about any of these topics specifically really, which indicates to me you have a different narrative and/or are coming from more inflammatory arguments that are always circling fandom lately. in the post i most recently reblogged, i spoke mostly of violence. which, of course, all of those things can be. but i didn’t name one of those topics in particular.
regardless, i don’t believe in the censorship of any dark content in art, but rather advocate strongly for critical analysis on a case-by-case basis. in general, i encourage thinking critically about every aspect of the world around you.
i do not believe that rape, incest, and sa are okay to write about or create art about but racism, homophobia, and fat phobia are not. i believe all of those topics are ones that can, should, and will be explored in the safety of art. all to varying degrees of success, earnestness, impact, and intent. you’re right that these are real things, that can hurt people, and the fictional work about them can have impact on our society that is tangible but the actual art or fiction created is not real. and again, this is all to varying degrees on a case-by-case basis.
art and fiction also historically and massively do discuss these dark content topics and have actively swayed the public’s opinion on matters, whether for better or for worse. throwing away all dark content in art and fiction because it is ‘harmful’ is deeply, deeply dangerous and reductive. a lot of art that engages with dark content actually makes very succinct points about it—i think of vladimir nabokov’s lolita or octavia butler’s bloodchild or speak by laurie halse anderson.
this is where we must exorcise critical thinking. some pieces of work will handle dark content poorly—white saviors making art on racism. men making art about a woman’s experiences that (as you are so interested in) romanticize her pain. etc. etc. and some art will handle it’s dark content incredibly and be transformative, perhaps even revolutionary in how we talk, perceive, or acknowledge systems of oppression, violence, and dark content in this world. some dark content in fiction will have damaging beliefs and effects on society, some will not—we must also look at scope for this, at the writer perhaps, the historical moment, their audience etc.
(for example, there is a significant difference in a main stream male writer, writing of a woman’s experience with rape in a published book in a way that makes it sound romanticized, sold to thousands and thousands of general public vs. a woman using fanfic to explore rape, take control of it, or whatever in a fanfic for a small online community where there are warnings on it. indicating she is aware of its potential damage in a way her male counterpart is not…)
but i still believe in dark contents’ existence in art. of course there is differences between all of these topics you brought up, but i don’t think their differences matter in this answer. i believe in their right to be explored in art. i am talking broadly of media/art here, which i think is the more relevant conversation, but i think you are actually more interested in a much smaller scale of people. ie. fandom. ie. mostly marginalized people in small communities online writing and creating dark content.
people will choose and pick which ones they’d like to create art over and which ones they don’t, which ones they read and which ones they don’t. there’s no ‘hard line’ drawn anywhere. and i can’t control it and neither can you. perhaps you think violence is okay to be explored in fanfic, but racism isn’t. someone else will have different preferences. i do not believe in its censorship.
now, let’s move onto your interest in romanticization and what i think you are more pointing to, which is fandom. you are specifically referring to people in fandom who write about rape, incest, etc. and ‘romanticize’ it—ie. they write about it in a way that is a fantasy. it is perhaps supposed to be horny or sexy. so let’s talk about it.
i must remind you that these topics you’ve brought up (rape, incest, sa) being written are fiction and it is (most often) done by someone marginalized who has either experienced this or is in threat of experiencing this under a patriarchy. i assure you, they are aware of its harm. hence the copious warnings in fandom spaces.
if i can be candid, sometimes i think that people forget how systems of oppression work when discussing fandom and whether dark content being created should be allowed or not.
for example, i sometimes think people who are anti-dark content in fandom believe that a woman or afab person writing a fictional fanfic about rape or sexual violence then influences people to go out and rape people or that women actually like it. when the reality, in fandom spaces, is that rape and sexual violence happen frequently under the patriarchy and then these women in fandom write fictional fanfic in response to cope, explore, take control of, etc. etc.
to insinuate that women or afab people (which fandom mostly is) exploring dark content safely in fiction then causes their own oppression and harm or trauma is rather victim-blame-y to me. fandom exploring dark content does not cause these things to happen in our society….these actions (rape, incest, sa) happen in our society or systems of power and fandom reacts to them in their art by exploring it in dark content. do you understand what i’m trying to say?
it’s not a matter of what is ‘okay’ to romanticize and what isn’t. i do not think the romanticization that fandom does with dark content (ie. my kidnapper actually loves me! or this sexual act that i did not consent to…maybe feels good) is not actually romanticizing but coping because of the systems of power that i described above. and this can be coping with anything—shame of sexuality, shame of fantasies, trauma, fear, etc. etc.
as i said in my tags in that post i reblogged and as plato said, dark content in art is a safe place to explore what would otherwise be harmful and dangerous in real life. it is cathartic. potentially even, a purging.
and even if it isn’t all that—maybe it just is trashy fantasy. it is still playing pretend. it is still fiction and in fandom spaces, it is still most likely being created by a marginalized person. and again, even if it isn’t, we don’t get to censor it. we can be critical of it or wary or whatever, but to censor it, is a slippery, slippery slope. do deem some topics as “acceptable” and others as “unacceptable” is dangerous.
just like kids play pretend where they ‘fight’ or ‘kill’ or ‘kidnap’ or ‘shoot’ each other in games of cops and robbers or heroes and villains, they are safely exploring adventure, dark content, fantasy, tragedy, and higher emotions. adults can do the same in fiction and with adult topics like sex.
and at the end of the day, we don’t get to demand the credentials to do so either. we don’t get to censor them or control them and nor should we be allowed to. i cannot stress enough that i encourage you to be critical of censorship or the absolute disgust in dark content and at those (again—often marginalized people) who engage with it in fandom. i believe it is deeply puritanical, conservative, and dangerous.
you don’t have to like dark content or consume it at all and fandom makes it easy not to with all the warnings and tags, but you cannot control others or police them. nor should you want to.
and at the end of the day, i have some questions for you. you don’t have to respond to this, perhaps they’re just things to think about. what is the end goal here? what is the point in harassing, shaming, attacking, criticizing, or interrogating people in fandom spaces who create or support dark content? do you believe that if it is purged from fandom, it will be purged from our society? if you want it purged from society—shouldn’t you start there rather than in the inbox of marginalized writers in fandom? people in fandom did not create rape, incest, and sa nor do they in their exploration of fiction…they are merely reacting to a world that did create it.
i hope at no point i came off as rude to you, as was not my intention. i intended to stand up for myself and respectfully state my opinions and thoughts on this matter. i’m sorry it got long, but also i don’t believe in being brief on such complex matters. i am a writer who engages critically with the world around me and sometimes, things cannot be made into short, snappy answers. sometimes, we must unpack.
genuinely wishing you well.
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saturnsbabyboii · 1 year
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🍭Astro Observation for you to munch on until Fatoor 🍭
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🍭People that have a Fire sign or an Earth sign on the cusp of the 3rd house are great vocalists (Exp. Ariana Grande, Whitney Huston, Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Lana Del Rey, etc.)
🍭Taurus Suns with Gemini Venus are top tier
🍭Capricorn Venus and their never-ending search for the perfect partner. (Standards are too high? or is no one worth it?)
🍭The stereotype of Cancers being homebodies seems to be very far from the truth. They're always on the go, meeting people, getting into new experiences and exploring. However, they do value their own space as they consider their home/room/inner world to be sacred and isn't to be shared with everyone. They're the true "Extroverted introvert", if you will.
🍭Synastry charts aren't a one size fits all. An aspect has a different interpretation depending on the status of the relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or sexual, etc.) For instance, the presence of Squares can be experienced positively in romantic/sexual relationships, but a bit challenging in platonic ones. However, it is hell to have it with family.
🍭Continuing with aspects, the presence of squares or "harsh" aspects doesn't mean you're doomed to fail. In fact, people that have more harsh aspects are very well in control of themselves (or at least of the themes of the placements/houses involved). I have known and witnessed many people that have been blessed with trines that end up overindulging and disregarding the dangers of their actions. It is possible that because things usually work out for them that they take it for granted and push their luck too far. (The recurrence of trines in the birth chart is common among celebrities who overdose, but that is just what I have observed)
🍭There are many posts on placements/aspects that indicate wealth and/or fame. However, we don't talk about HOW, WHERE, and WHAT can we do to cultivate this kind of success. The answer is in the mutable houses (3rd, 6th, 9th, 12th). The sign over the house, the placements, and the position of the house ruler (even aspects and degrees but focus on the latter first) will tell you where you need to go, what should you do, how should you do it, and (most importantly) what is blocking you or in what ways can you change in order to move to that next step.
🍭Regardless of their other placements, I have never met or heard of a Pisce and a Leo getting along.
🍭It is true that Earth placements/doms guard their inner self with many walls, but the way Air placements/doms do it always fascinates me. Instead of an obvious defensive stance, they unleash a mirage that creates the illusion of openness. You never really know what's true versus what's not but the kicker is, neither do they. I still love them though.
🍭What's with Water energy and getting too much plastic surgery?
🍭Jupiter is the planet of growth, wisdom, knowledge, and luck. Wherever it's placed it'll give you "a big head". As a Jupiter in 3rd, I have to catch myself from being a smartass and a know-it-all. My friend has a Jupiter in the 1st and she could wear a trash bag and you can't tell her nothing about how she looks. On a side note, she does have a larger head and looks like a Bratz doll (no shade though)
🍭Despite what I have heard/read, I am continuously disappointed by Scorpio placements. I don't get the hype. But when it comes to Virgos and Geminis though, I have been pleasantly surprised.
🍭Aries Moon 🤝Low key being a covert narcissist
🍭Leos out here thinking they're an undiscovered celebrity, meanwhile Sagittarians and Capricorns are a living meme factory
🍭12th house stelliums and their obsession with existential questions "Why am I here?" "What's the soul?"
🍭Having your Moon reside in an Air house (3rd, 7th, 11th) makes it difficult for you to understand your physical emotional reactions (Exp. Always wondering "Why do I feel weird?") Finding a visual discord as an outlet or talking about it with other people can develop an awareness and an understanding of the connection between your body and mind
🍭Most Fire placements have such powerful minds and pure hearts but their mouths always get them in trouble.
🍭Pisces and Libra placements aren't sweet angels with rose-colored glasses. Not saying they aren't good people, but the ones that I have known had a very dark and twisted side to them with a very pessimistic point of view of the world. This could be due to their sensitivity to their surroundings and other people.
🍭Earth in the 8th is very likely to leave a big chunk as their inheritance, meanwhile Fire in the 8th is hitting the jackpot (Sorry nana)
🍭The element of your 2nd house reflects your self-esteem.
Water in the 2nd indicates a turbulent and unstable self-image that ranges from highs and lows.
Earth in the 2nd house has a sustainable and clear image of themselves with an awareness of their flaws and ways to improve.
Air in the 2nd house and their fluctuating sense of self, they are very likely to personalize and have a completely warped idea of themselves, or they absolutely don't give a damn about how they look and have an unshakable confidence.
Fire in the 2nd house, Either peak early in life then crash hard with a bruised ego or takes a long time to fully accept and love who they are
🍭Having Saturn and Jupiter in the same house is the holy grail of growth. You will forever receive lessons and discipline from Saturn along with endless wisdom and improvement from Jupiter. An indication of a very tough start (depending on the house themes) you may feel alone and conflicted with no one to turn to regarding it. However, with Jupiter as your guide and Saturn as your protector, you'll be able to take on whatever the house (and probably life) throws at you like a pro tennis player.
Bye Bitch✨
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