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joels-shitty-puns · 7 months

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Could I make a request please?

Either a Joel or Pedro x Reader, where he is head over heels for the reader who is really bubbly and sweet and happy and a mom friend for everyone but who is oblivious to any romantic overtures whatsoever? And where Joel or Pedro catch them crying for the first time ever and they try and hide it and go back to cooking for the friend group or whatever and Joel/Pedro get the reader to open up about what made them cry and essentially it's that someone turned them down on a dating app and it's just further confirmation that the reader will never find love or actually be a mom? Plus-sized reader preferred but definitely not required? And your choice on if it's smutty or not.

I've been reading your plus sized reader x Pedro series and loving it!!! So much emotion and genuine positivity that I couldn't help but ask for more when I felt a bit down about this today.

All my best!

Dear @jenniferpendragon,

Hi!!! I've never had a request before, I didn't know what to do with myself. Thank you. And thank you so much for your kind words about my musician fic! I'm so glad people like it.

I'm sorry you were feeling down today. If by "this" you mean you experienced the dating app situation, I'm so sorry. Love is out there for you. I know how hard it is to wait, feeling like nobody wants you, but I know it'll happen. Hang in there. ❤️

I hope you like this fic! I liked your prompt and my mind ran wild. It's way longer than I thought it would be and also I'm unsure about it, but hopefully it makes you feel a little better.

___________

Cookies 'n Scream

Pairing: No-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Plus-sized!Reader

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY!! MDNI. Poor body image, fat shaming, food guilt, food mentions, unprotected P in V, oral, kissing, fingering, pregnancy mention, baby making sex (?), I think that's all of it but if I missed something let me know.

Other stuff: Reader is AFAB. In case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

This is the first smut I've ever written and published, yikes. Hope it's decent.

__________

"Look what I bought today," you chimed in a sing-song voice while waving the DVD in front of Joel.

"No way. Zombie Slayer 6?!" Joel and Tommy yelled in unison.

"Yep! You know it!" you beamed. "I say tonight we pop this bad boy in. Tomorrow's Halloween, it's perfect."

"YES!" chimed in Sarah and Ellie, Joel's daughter and adopted daughter, roughly the same ages in their early teens.

"Absolutely not! You two are too young for this gore, you'll be up for weeks." Maria pointedly gave an eyebrow to her husband Tommy. "You guys watch the movie, I'll take the kids and we have a girl's night. We can watch Practical Magic and make cookies. Then tomorrow we'll all go trick-or-treating." The girls were pleased with this compromise and began running up to their bedrooms, chatting frantically about their costumes and which houses were allegedly going to have full-size candy bars this year.

"Really? Zombie movies? They're just kids. They aren't old enough to deal with that kind of thing," Maria said to you, judging your lack of parenting skills.

"Sorry…" you said sheepishly.

Truthfully, Halloween was your favorite holiday and always has been. You loved the spooky aspect of it, but you also loved that you could be anyone you wanted, if only for a night. For once you weren't just "the fat girl" or whatever other mean things people thought about you. You could be Wonder-Woman, or Ariel, the Grim Reaper, or a ghost. You could even eat all the sugary snacks you wanted and nobody questioned it, because Halloween was a time to indulge in candy.

If there's one thing you're sad you didn't get to enjoy on Halloween, it was the thought of being with someone you love. You'd always wanted someone to dress up in a couples costume together. Or go to a pumpkin patch for a cute little date and pick pumpkins together. You'd even dreamed about someday having a little pumpkin of your own. Picking out a little baby costume, taking them out door to door while they tried to say "trick or treat" but didn't quite know how to say such big words yet. The thought of them getting spooked by a scary decoration and running back to their daddy's arms. Your handsome brave husband, holding them close and shushing them, rubbing their little back to make it all okay. Finally the three of you would go home, tuck the little one in, sort through the candy and maybe take some for the parent tax. Then you'd flop down on the bed together before sharing a different kind of treat.

Knocking you out of your daydream, the girls ran down the stairs, backpacks on their backs, still loudly chatting about Halloween. You sighed, Maria taking the kids out towards her house.

Tommy clapped his hands together excitedly and grabbed his phone and keys. "I'm picking us up a pizza. You two better not start this damn movie without me," he warned, gesturing with his fingers from his eyes to yours and then across to his brother's before ducking out the door. You laughed and headed towards the kitchen, starting to make a quick batch of cookies before Tommy returned. Joel stood awkwardly trying to help, but mainly was just sneaking bites of dough. "Knock it off Joel! There won't be any cookies left with you around." You elbowed him while he popped another glob into his mouth with a laugh.

You rolled your eyes while he argued with you. "Whatever. My brother doesn't need these cookies anyway. He doesn't deserve your bakin', darlin'." He ate more dough.

You couldn't help but feel your chest flutter with butterflies at his nickname, but you tried to ignore them. "Oh yeah, and what about me?" You pouted up at him. "Don't I deserve any cookies?"

He put his finger on his lip as if deep in thought. "Hmmm… I dunno darlin'. Not sure if I could handle you if you get much sweeter." He winked.

"But I guess you deserve some too.." he plopped a wad of dough into your mouth, running his finger on your lip as he pulled his hand away.

You smiled, cheeks feeling warm, and chewing the soft, sugary dough.

"Oh, Joel. You're too much.." you avoided his eyes, looking down at the mixer and pretending to be busy with the cookies.

Why can't I get a man like Joel? You thought to yourself.

Two years ago, you had moved into your new house and met your neighbors, Tommy and Maria, Maria still very pregnant at the time. The three of you became fast friends and it wasn't long before you met Tommy's brother Joel. You were instantly enamored with him. His curly brown hair, mixed with silvery gray streaks, and those deep, gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. Although he could be a grump at times, it was mainly with his brother or his job, and he never showed it towards you. To you he was as sweet as the cookies you were eating.

You instantly developed a little crush on him and it seemed like he was over at his brother's house, or yours, more often than not. The two of you spent time together alone as well, watching movies, talking, doing whatever. Things felt so simple with him, and you knew he would always be there if you needed help with anything. With him, you never felt fat. You never felt ugly. You didn't feel self-conscious. You were just you. He was just him.

As your friendship progressed, your crush developed quickly into love. But you knew deep down there was no way he could ever feel the same. He was too handsome and charming to ever go for a woman like you, so you pushed down your feelings as best as you could, and even tried some dating apps to try and find someone else to fill the empty space in your heart.

What you didn't know was that Joel was absolutely head-over-heels, smitten with you, from the moment he laid eyes on you at his brother's backyard barbecue. Sure he loved his brother, but nobody wants to spend that much time at their sibling's house. He came over constantly, hoping to see you, until eventually you became close enough that he didn't have to make a scene at his brother's house to get your attention. He could just go to yours.

Tommy constantly teased him about it, and Maria couldn't help but notice the way you looked at Joel either. Even the kids could tell. The girls loved you like a mother, though you'd never see it. It seemed that it was obvious to everyone but you and him. Joel would flirt, try to gently touch you, be sweet, but you never picked up on it. Although you never pushed away his attempts, you never seemed to reciprocate either, so Joel just figured you didn't like him that way. But he couldn't help flirting, touching, staring at you. And if you didn't protest, he didn't plan to stop. He couldn't if he tried.

While the two of you talked, the cookies, what was left of them, baked in the oven. Finally Tommy came in, two large pizzas in hand. "Now I better not see that movie playing! I warned you two."

He noticed the black television screen and wandered to the kitchen. "Good. You waited for me- oh man! You made cookies? My favorite," he said with grabby hands towards the first pan, still cooling on the stove.

"Now, don't spoil your dinner. You just brought pizza home, let's eat." You shot a knowing look with Joel after the two of you were practically full already with cookie dough.

"Fine. Whatever, mom." Tommy took a plate from you, sliding a piece of pizza onto his plate and heading towards the couch.

_____

An hour into the movie, you were all full with pizza and dessert, Tommy in the sofa chair on the side, you and Joel settled into the love seat. You leaned towards his right side, his right arm over the back of your seat. A blanket covered the two of you, and his left hand was crossed over his lap on top of the blanket, hoping you would hold it if you got scared. Whenever a jump scare did happen, you didn't grab for him, but at the slightest flinch, he would palm your knee, rubbing his thumb over you to calm you down. Such a nice guy. I'm so lucky to have him as my friend.

Once when Joel did this, Tommy caught the sight out of the corner of his vision. He rolled his eyes and gave a gagging face. Joel gave him a quick angry brother stare that made Tommy turn back toward the film.

At some point, you felt your pocket buzz. Peering under the blanket at your screen, you saw the little heart notification, letting you know it was one of the dating apps you downloaded. Heart beating faster, you excused yourself saying you wanted to get a drink. Upon entering the kitchen, you quickly opened the notification with shaky hands. You had sent out at least a half dozen matches to people, all turned down the second they saw your profile. The most recent had sent a message as well. "Seriously? Ur gross. Good luck finding anyone to date you lmao." Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked down at your body and pinched the fat of your stomach. You had four apps and had sent countless requests, matches, and swipes. Even guys who were big themselves had turned you down. You looked in the kitchen at the pile of cookies, the mostly empty pizza boxes, the bowl of Halloween candy. If the boys weren't here, you'd toss it all in the trash. You suddenly felt self-conscious. Your clothes were tight, your body was heavy and flabby, and you almost felt nauseous. The first sting of tears welled at your eyes, and you dashed off to your bedroom, hoping to quell these emotions before anyone would notice. You weren't ready to go back to the living room.

After a couple minutes, Joel had paused the TV to wait for your return. "She probably had to pee or something. Said she was gettin' a drink." Tommy nodded and the two of them talked. After about ten minutes had passed, Joel began to worry. Even Tommy began to wonder and finally said "where'd your girlfriend end up? It's been a while."

Joel shook his head at Tommy's name for you, but got up off the couch. "I'll go see what's up." He walked into the kitchen and didn't see you, so he kept walking through the house before finally starting upstairs. "Darlin'? You okay?" He still didn't see you, but upon approaching your bedroom door, he heard a soft sniffle.

He gently tapped on the door with his index finger's knuckle. "Sweetheart?" Your sniffling stopped and you quickly wiped your eyes, trying to hide your tears as he slowly opened the door.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to make you guys wait, I was just changing into some comfier clothes." He noticed you had switched from your favorite dress to some sweats and a baggy hoodie. You still looked beautiful to him, though he was a bit confused at the change. "I'll be right down, why don't you go start the movie again." He crossed the room to sit next to you on the bed. "I'm not going to start the movie. What's wrong, darlin'?"

You pouted, trying to choke back more tears, but his gentle brown eyes made it hard to keep your emotions inside. Joel cupped your cheek, running his thumb gently under your eyes and catching a tear that made it past your walls. You'd never cried in front of Joel before. You made it a goal of yours to try and hide any sad emotions from people, especially him.

"I don't want to ruin the night, Joel. It's nothing. Let's just go back downstairs. I'll be right behind you."

Joel stood up and nodded his head, walking out the door and closing it gently behind him.

You didn't think he'd actually leave. But it shouldn't surprise you. Who wouldn't leave you?

An aggressive sob ripped through your chest.

_____

Joel walked downstairs, joining his brother.

"You find her?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah I did. Look, she's not feeling too good right now. I think it's best we call it a night."

"Ah, man. She sick or somethin'?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah somethin' like that. I'll stay and take care of her. Can you maybe keep the kids tonight?" Joel answered, ushering Tommy out the door. Tommy gave him a look, but nodded and walked out the door towards his own house.

Joel closed the door behind him and walked back upstairs, stopping to grab a glass of water for you on the way. He knocked gently again before entering your bedroom, and you turned around, surprised to see him. "Joel? I thought you were watching the movie?"

"Nah, darlin' I could never leave you when you're upset. I sent Tommy home and he's gonna watch the girls tonight. Here, I brought you some water." He sat the water on the nightstand. "Now, you wanna tell me why you're cryin'?" He sat next to you, rubbing your back gently.

You took a sip of the water, set it back down on the nightstand, and sighed, looking down at your hands in your lap which held your cell phone.

"Well, I uh…" you cleared your throat gently. "I recently joined some dating apps..."

Joel's heart took a slight stab, but he pushed it down. You're the one needing comfort, not him.

"I guess, I dunno… I know it's kinda silly, but I've been feeling kinda lonely and y'know... I'm getting older. I'm running out of time to have babies. But, I really just want someone to call mine. Someone to laugh with and go on dates with and…" you tapered off, not wanting to admit your desire for cuddles, kisses, and love-making.

"Oh, sweet girl," he held you in his arms. "That's nothing to feel shy or silly about. It's natural to want those things. But why are you cryin'? Did somethin' happen?"

"I just… I haven't gotten any matches. Everyone I've sent anything to has denied me, and-" you sniffled and Joel pulled you tighter. "Shh, shh, sweet girl, it's okay. Those people on those apps, they don't know what they're missin' out on. They don't see how beautiful and sweet y'are. They wouldn't know how to treat you right anyway. If they can't see how wonderful you are, they don't deserve to be with ya anyway."

"Thank you Joel…" you muttered. "But… it's not just that. I got a message when we were watching the movie and I went into the kitchen to read it, and-" you handed him your phone with a sniffle. Joel pulled away from you, holding the phone back a bit to read it with his bad vision. As he read it, his jaw and fists clenched. It may have been the first time Joel saw you cry, but it was also the first time Joel got angry when it was just the two of you.

"If I knew where this asshole little boy lived, I'd go over there right now and kick his ass for saying something like that to you" he seethed. "I can't believe anyone would say something like that to you."

You picked at a hangnail on your finger, still staring at your lap. Finally Joel took a breath and looked at you again. "Darlin'. You don't - you don't believe that guy do you?" He asked while rubbing your back again.

"Maybe…" you felt tears run down your cheeks. "I mean, he's right, isn't he? I'm not attractive or skinny. Nobody wants me, not even any of these guys on this app. Even the guys who aren't skinny don't want me either."

"Sweetheart. That's just not true. Look at me-" he lifted your chin with his left hand, right arm still holding you close. You hesitantly met his gaze, your wet eyes looking into his gentle browns. "Those men, if you even wanna call them that, they wouldn't know what beautiful was if it slapped them across the face. You're the most beautiful, sweet, funny woman I've ever met. Any man would be lucky to have you." He took a deep breath before admitting, "I'd be lucky to have you."

"What-?" You interrupted him.

"Darlin'... I never want to push your boundaries, but you don't see how often I flirt with you, tease you, and touch you? You don't see how smitten I am with you?" You frowned, brows furrowing as you picked through your memory. "I thought you were just a nice guy. Just a friend. I didn't… I didn't think you could ever like me as more than a friend, so I just ignored the butterflies I got around you."

You searched his eyes, waiting for a joke, or your alarm to go off and wake you up from this dream.

"Sweetheart, I've been in love with you since just about the time I saw you walk across my brother's lawn towards me. I just figured y'wasn't interested in me that way."

"Joel," you laughed. "I've felt the same way."

He smiled, once again tilting your chin, yet this time pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, but held so much love and meaning, that the two of you couldn't help but smile in the middle of it. He pulled away, "and by the way, y'aren't old either. If anyone's old here, it's me. But if you want babies, I'll give you all the babies you want. But you already got two girls who love you. Sometimes I think they even love y'more than me," he laughed.

You smiled at him and nodded "I do love those girls like they're my own. But I would still like a little baby someday too."

He kissed you again, more passionately this time, licking your lip until you opened up and let your tongues dance together. He pulled away, running his nose across your jaw before stopping at your ear. "Only one way to give you that, darlin'." He gently bit your earlobe before kissing down your neck.

You sighed. "Joel… please."

"Please, what darlin'?" He purred, kissing your clavicle through your baggy shirt.

"Please, make love to me" you answered breathlessly, tipping your head back so he could better access your neck.

"Take these baggy clothes off then, baby. Lemme see you," he gave you one last kiss on the lips before the two of you began undressing, stopping every few seconds to share grabby kisses. Once undressed, he pulled you into him and kissed you deeply, your hands on his chest. With a swift move, he tumbled the two of you sideways so that you were now on the bed, him on his back and you straddling his hips. You leaned down, kissing his lips, while the slight movement against his waist caused you both to moan at the feeling. "Baby I've wanted this for so long. Let me take care of you," Joel whispered, thumb stroking your cheek. He flipped the two of you over, slithering down towards your waist, where you spread your legs for him. He groaned, looking at how evident it was you wanted him, pumping his already hard cock a few times. Flattening himself on his stomach, he gently touched your thighs and began to kiss your legs. "Y'sure you still want this, baby?"

"Yes Joel, please" you answered, tense with anticipation. Without a beat, he tipped his head down, licking a stripe up your slit. You let out a sigh, hips bucking toward his face. "I know baby, I know." His low timbre vibrated through your core. He gave a quick peck to your clit before swirling his tongue around it and heading downwards, licking between your folds while his nose continued to put pressure on your clit.

His fingers slid through, touching your entrance in a questioning way. "Yes, Joel, please" you cried, wiggling closer, your hands tugging at his hair.

With your pleas, he inserted his finger, curling upwards before adding a second and finally hitting that spot inside you that made your breathing catch in your chest. He stroked, while still licking gently, occasionally sucking on your clit. Before long you were gripping the sheets with one hand, his hair in your other, as you finally tumbled into your orgasm. "So beautiful, baby" he coaxed, licking you through the waves of pleasure.

"Think you're ready for me?" He looked up at you over your plush tummy. "Yes, Joel, please I'm so ready."

He stalked over your body, kissing his way up. He kissed your vulva, "I love this," he purred. He kissed your stomach, running his hands across your sides. "I love this," he licked. "I love these," he massaged your breasts, kissing each nipple. "I love you" he finally looked you in the eyes, kissing you on the lips deeply.

"I love you too." You kissed him back, running your hands through his messy hair, down his broad shoulders and back. His hand snaked around, grabbing his cock and giving a few strokes through your folds until he was wet enough. Finally he pushed against your entrance, slowly entering you, giving you enough time to adjust to his size. Your fingers clawed at his back as he finally pushed all the way in, the two of you sighing in relief.

Your body adjusted, and with a kiss to his nose, you prompted him to move. "Okay Joel, I'm ready."

Slowly, he began to thrust, pulling slowly out and gently pushing back in, eventually picking up to a pleasurable pace. He kissed you like his lips couldn't be away for longer than a few seconds, and it didn't take much before you were barreling towards your second release of the evening. "I'm almost there, Joel" you kissed, grabbing him around his back. "Me too, baby. Come for me." His thrusts were getting sloppy, but you could tell he was holding himself back for you. His fingers drifted over your clit, giving a few circular strokes and causing you to shudder around him, your eyes slamming shut with a moan. He followed right behind you, a couple messy strokes before pumping into you, filling you up and working you both through it. As the two of you came down from your high, he kissed you passionately, holding you like you were the only thing in the world.

The two of you lay on your sides, you snuggled into his chest, his chin resting on your head before eventually he became soft and slipped out of you. You both sighed at the loss, but held each other until you rolled out to use the restroom and clean up. When you returned from the bathroom, you asked if he wanted to stay and he said yes.

You lent him an extra toothbrush and the two of you stood side by side, brushing your teeth and stealing glances at each other in the mirror with matching lovesick smiles. Things felt domestic and comfortable as the two of you walked back to bed, sharing soft kisses snuggled to each other. Having completely forgotten why you were upset earlier, you fell asleep curled into his arms, full of love and hope for the future with a man you loved.

_____

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and breakfast cooking. You strolled down the stairs and saw Joel, wearing just his boxers and tee shirt, grabbing a slice of toast from the toaster.

At the sound of your steps, he turned and smiled softly. "Morning, baby."

"Good morning, handsome," you replied, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I could get used to that," Joel replied, squeezing your ass and pulling his face away to look in your eyes.

"Joel! You devil," you giggled, gently smacking his arm. "You ain't seen nothing yet, baby" he nibbled your jaw.

After the two of you ate breakfast, you shared a shower, and he threw on a pair of extra clothes he keeps in his car. It would be hard to keep his visit a secret from his brother with his car still in your driveway, but as far as Tommy was concerned, you were sick and Joel was taking care of you.

The two of you made the walk over to Tommy's house to get the girls and participate in Halloween activities for the day. Walking in the door, Tommy pulled you into a hug. "Hey, we were worried about you! Are you feeling better? Were you sick?"

You looked up at Joel, sharing a knowing look. "I was just a little upset about something, but I'm feeling much better now," you smiled.

Tommy gasped. "FINALLY!!!!" He threw his hands in the air while Maria grinned.

"Cough it up Tommy!" Sarah held out her hand to her uncle. "You know I had October." He handed her a five dollar bill.

"You bet money on us?" Joel asked in disbelief, rubbing your back.

"Obviously. You guys have both been pining since you first met," Ellie answered, rolling her eyes. "It was too entertaining for us to interfere though," Sarah added with a smirk.

You stared down at your shoes, feeling embarrassed, but Joel grabbed your hand. You smiled up at him and it felt like everything was aligned. "Yep, we finally took the step. And now I get to do this whenever I want," Joel pulled you into his arms for a deep kiss.

"UGH. GROSS, DAD." Ellie and Sarah groaned, walking out of the room.

You both laughed, sharing a smile and heading towards the group to get ready for Halloween with your family.

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xchxrryblossomx · 1 year

Text

My little Angel

Summary: You are your dad Pedro having quality family time together

Warning: None

A/N: In this, you're 15 and your mom died after giving birth to you and it was just you and Pedro together as a happy family, and once again [...] is the translation so sorry cuz I'm using google

You just got home from school and saw your dad. You did what you usually did, you ran up to him and hugged him. "Hola papá", [Hey dad] you smiled. Pedro smiled and said, "Hola cariño, ¿cómo estuvo la escuela?" [Hey sweetie, how was school?] You sighed and Pedor immediately knew it was horrible.

"Qué ha pasado Y/n?", [What happened Y/n] he asked and you frowned. "My stupid math teacher gave us a test I wasn't ready for then people were asking me if I had answers from the homework which I did but I didn't want to give the answers to them". Pedro chuckled and patted your head, "How about we go out and buy some snacks so we can watch a movie to make you feel better". You smiled and nodded "¡Sí, papá, quiero bocadillos y películas!". [Yes dad I want snacks and movies!] He chuckled and you dropped your school bag in your room then you both got in the car.

Once he reached the store you both got out and walked in. You grabbed your favorite snacks and favorite drink while Pedro did the same. Once you both got what you wanted and paid you went to the Redbox outside of the store and looked at the movies. That's when someone noticed you both and took a picture. They then walked up to you both and said, "May I get a picture with you both?". You looked at your dad and he nodded so you said yes the person then took the photo and thanked you and Pedro for letting them take a picture.

The person then started a little conversation and made a joke both you and your dad laughed at then they left to go home you were guessing. After that, you and Pedro picked a movie you walked back to the car and got in. On the drive home you were looking threw Instagram and saw the person post the picture of you and Pedro and the post said, "Look at this adorable family. I'm so glad I got to meet them and take a picture with them. They were so nice and friendly". You smiled and said, "Dad the person who took a photo with us said we were an adorable family and very friendly".

You giggled and Pedro said, "Well he isn't wrong, we're very friendly and adorable". You both then started to laugh. Once you got home you went into your room to change into pajama pants and an oversized shirt. Pedro had some sweats and a red shirt that says "#1 dad". you bought him the shirt for his birthday last year and he wore it like every night. You just remembered that you both usually make a pillow fort so you quickly ran to grab pillows and blankets then you quickly went back to the living room.

He chuckled when he saw all the pillows and blankets you had, "Hija mía, ¿por qué tienes que correr? Podrías tropezar, ten cuidado, por favor." [My daughter why must you run you could trip, be careful please] You giggled, "estare bien papa". [I'll be fine dad] He looked at you, "Yeah until you fall". You giggled, "I won't fall". just as you said that you dropped a pillow and tripped but luckliy your dad caught you before you hit the ground. He started laughing, "You were saying".

You then started laughing, "I mean at least you caught me dad". After he picked up the pillow that fell you both then started building the fort and you put the movie in the DVD player and started it. Pedro smiled and said, "You know when you were 7 we made a fort like this and you always insested on watching a movie or show with me in it. You used to also get so upset if we didn't, it was funny". You smiled, "I know dad I remember, but I always wanted to watch the same show or movie over and over again".

"Those are some of my favorite memories". Pedro smiled, "Yep, those are some of my favorite memories too". You both then started watching the movie eating snacks and drinking your drinks. You fell asleep halfway threw the movie and Pedro paused the movie. He then picked you up carefully and walked to your room moving the blankets on your bed then laying you down. He then pulled the covers over you. "Buenas noches mi hija dulce sueño, te amo". [Good night my daughter sweet dream, I love you]. He kissed your forehead and turned off the light and shut the door half way. He then cleaned up the mess and went to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed have a wonderful day/night ♡

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x reader #Pedro pascal x daughter reader #pedro pascal imagine

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astra-ella · 3 months

Text

𝐙𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄 - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

fandom: haikyuu ship: nishinoya yuu x oc/reader status: complete ao3 link

"I think you're really pretty. Will you go out with me?" That was the first thing he's ever said to her. And needless to say, Amari Chiyo was not impressed. So as promised, Nishinoya Yuu will get to know her better and confess again. And again. And again. And again. It'll take 6 years and 9 confessions, but he'll get there. Eventually.

⌦ content: fluff, light angst, love at first sight, friends to lover, slice of life

⌦ note: you are free to insert yourself into Chiyo, just keep in mind she has her own character/backstory. i know some people don't like that, so just a heads-up.

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The fifth time he confessed was a little less than a year later — a few months into their first year of high school.

After a few grueling months of study sessions and a little bit of luck, Nishinoya barely managed to scrape by on the entrance exams. They went to the results board together on that cold winter day, along with Hotaru and Kaito. Neither of the kids were surprised to see Chiyo’s number there, but when Kaito somehow caught Nishinoya’s exam number on the bottom right while perched on his shoulders, they celebrated with so much enthusiasm Kaito nearly lost his balance and fell off.

So when April rolled around, Nishinoya and Chiyo were once again attending the same school. Though with Chiyo’s better grades, she ended up in Class 1-4 – a college preparatory class – while Nishinoya was put in Class 1-2.

The day club applications began, Nishinoya immediately joined the volleyball club. He encouraged Chiyo to join a club of her own or even run to become a class rep again like she had in middle school, but she refused.

Instead, she put all her energy into applying for a part-time job. She was hired at a small media and repair store near school, run by a little old lady and her grumpy calico cat. They sold all kinds of electronics, from old VHS tapes to the newest gaming consoles. They also had a huge catalog of DVDs that the old lady often insisted Chiyo borrow for the week to watch on her own.

Despite the two of them being in different classes and volleyball practice running longer than they did in middle school, Nishinoya’s visits never stopped. He’d drop by after a quick text, eat dinner, do homework, play some volleyball with Kaito, watch a movie then head home for the night. He became such a regular presence that even Chiyo’s father, who was rarely home due to his busy schedule, knew his name and often included his portion whenever he brought back desserts for the kids.

Chiyo would scold him, telling Nishinoya to go home to rest and that his body must be tired after a long day of volleyball and school. To which Nishinoya would simply remind her that he had to return the lunch box she brought him. Something Chiyo started doing after she found out Nishinoya often only bought banana bread for lunch from the school store.

And that day, Chiyo was on her way to the gym as usual. She preferred to deliver his lunch in the mornings, right after she got to school. Like that, she wouldn’t have to spend her lunch time trying to track him down between the classroom, the gym, or the vending machine.

As she climbed the staircase, she could hear the sharp screeches of sneakers scraping against the gym floor. Despite not being a powerhouse school, Karasuno seemed to take volleyball pretty seriously.

“Nishi-”

“Kiyoko-san!” Before she could call out to him, the sound of two boys’ boisterous voices interrupted her. She instinctively hid around the corner so as not to bother them. It took a second before it registered in her head that one of the two voices belonged to Nishinoya.

“Kiyoko-san, do you need any help carrying anything?” Someone asked.

“Kiyoko-san, you look beautiful as always today!” Nishinoya shouted.

“No thanks.”

Chiyo felt her heart drop.

She snapped her head around in time to see Nishinoya and a boy with short, fuzzy blond hair run up to a girl just as she entered the gym from the back door. He wasn’t kidding. With shoulder-length black hair and large black eyes, the girl had an air of adult maturity to her, someone who was stoic and passionate yet aloof with their intentions.

Suddenly, the name Kiyoko jogged her memory. Nishinoya had mentioned her during dinner a few months back when he told her all about the club. Her name was Shimizu Kiyoko and she was their one and only manager.

He spoke highly about her, going on and on about how pretty and responsible she was. But Chiyo had always sort of disregarded his comments. After all, Nishinoya did the same thing with a character in their old literature textbook. But seeing him fawn over another girl, a real one at that, made Chiyo’s heart clench with an emotion she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Guys, stop bothering- Oh!” An upperclassman with short brown hair approached the gym from behind her. “Hey, are you looking for someone?”

Chiyo blinked. “Um, I’m looking for Nishinoya. I have his lunch.”

“Nishinoya!”

“What is it, Daichi-san, ah!” Nishinoya’s eyes lit up upon seeing her. “Amari!”

As he began to make his way over, Chiyo suddenly felt the urge to run. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach and in the moment, she wanted to be anywhere but there. But she still had his lunch in hand, and there was a part of her that stubbornly wanted to complete the delivery.

“Here,” she shoved the neatly-packed boxed lunch in his hands, not even bothering to make eye contact. “It’s leftovers from last night, so don’t expect too much.”

“I’m sure it’s delicious,” Nishinoya took the box and grinned. “Thanks as always!”

“Noya-san, this girl’s always bringing lunch for you. What’s up with that?” At this point, the boy with blond hair began to approach them. His eyes then widened as an idea dawned on him. “Wait, don’t tell me she’s your girlfriend or something?!”

“She’s-”

“No, I’m not!” Before Nishinoya could respond, Chiyo cut him off perhaps a bit too loudly. “I’m just his middle school classmate. I’m only making him lunch 'cause if I don’t he’s just gonna end up buying banana bread for lunch and be short forever.”

“Excuse me?!”

“You have your lunch now, right?” Meeting Nishinoya’s offended look with a sharp one of her own, Chiyo quickly turned on her heel. “I’m leaving. Bye!”

She walked briskly away, feeling more and more breathless the further away she got from the gym. She wanted to outrun it all, the sound of her beating heart, the emotions that bubbled in her chest and the hot tears that pricked at her eyes. When she saw Kiyoko, all she could think about was the day he first confessed to her under the cherry blossoms nearly three years ago. She had warned him that he would lose interest overtime. But when faced with reality, she felt like she was the one who lost something.

Her steps slowed as she reached her classroom. It then occurred to her that this wasn’t anything new. Nishinoya has been fawning over other girls for as long as she’s known him. And thinking back on it, the only reason he gave for confessing to her initially was because she was pretty, nothing more.

A classmate opened the door, cocking her head curiously at Chiyo who stared up at their classroom tag in a daze.

“Amari-san? What’s wrong?”

Chiyo looked at her.

“Boys are stupid.”

After her shift at the media store that evening, Chiyo was surprised to find Nishinoya waiting outside with two soda-flavored popsicles.

She initially thought that he wouldn’t want to speak to her for at least a good while, after how strangely she behaved in front of his teammates. But to her surprise, he simply gave her his usual greeting and smile before tossing the extra popsicle in her direction.

“Come on, let’s go home.”

“Oh, okay…”

As they set off, Nishinoya tore his popsicle packet open and began chomping down. Chiyo watched him, fidgeting at the sound of crinkling plastic.

“Hey, Nishinoya,” she swallowed hard. “I’m sorry about what I said today.”

He gave her a confused look. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, I… I called you short in front of the entire volleyball team,” she murmured, still refusing to make eye contact. “I didn’t mean it. I was just in a bad mood and I… I’m just really sorry.”

"Oh, what, that?" Nishinoya scoffed. "Don't sweat it, it's whatever. Kaito's been calling me that for like a year."

“Kaito’s still young,” Chiyo shook her head. “But I… should’ve known better than to make petty remarks like that.”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it,” he waved a hand before quickly finishing his popsicle in two bites and checking the stick. “Dang, another dud.”

Chiyo’s lips quirked up a little before falling. “So Shimizu-senpai, huh?” She opened her popsicle packet. “She’s really pretty.”

“Wait, you know Kiyoko-san?!”

Nishinoya sounded so excited and Chiyo felt a lump forming in her throat. “I saw her when I dropped off lunch for you today.”

“That’s right, that’s right,” he tossed the wooden stick into a public trash can. “Yeah, she’s super pretty, isn’t she? A literal goddess. I heard she’s been the club manager since last year.”

Chiyo nodded before averting her eyes, pretending to admire the street view she’s seen more than a hundred times already. “Well, I better not hear any more of your random confessions from now on,” she said half-jokingly.

“Huh, what are you talking about?” Nishinoya stopped walking. “I still like you, Amari.”

Chiyo nearly dropped her popsicle. She turned to look him in the eye.

He was dead serious.

“Why would you say something like that?” She snapped, immediately losing all composure.

Nishinoya cocked his head to the side. “Because it’s true.”

“What do you mean ‘because it’s true’?” Chiyo’s eyes widened with exasperation. “You were literally just gushing about how pretty Shimizu-senpai is. Don’t tell me you’re like one of those sleaze bags in shoujo manga that’ll flirt with anyone you find even mildly pretty.”

“What? No! I mean yeah, Kiyoko-san is pretty and all. But,” he then thumped his chest with a confident smile. “In the end, my heart will always belong to you.”

Her lips parted slightly.

“Don’t say stuff like that, you idiot!” Those were the first words she found herself able to say. “You idiot. You’re such an idiot! The biggest idiot that’s ever existed in the history of idiots!”

“I’m not an idiot!”

“Yes, you are! You’re a shallow, stupid idiot!” Chiyo shouted back, trying to ignore the sore feeling in her nose. “You can’t tell me you don’t have even a little bit of a crush on her. I saw you and that blond kid trying to get all cozy with her. You even call her by her first name even though you’ve only known her for like, what? Two months?”

“Amari, I-”

“I’m completely fine with being friends with you, Nishinoya,” she cut him off, trying her best to avoid his pointed gaze. “I just… I don’t want to date someone who only wants to get to know me half-heartedly.”

Nishinoya rubbed his forehead, eyes flickering up to glance at the setting sun. Taking a deep breath, he then gingerly took her hand and pried her fingers off the hem of her jacket sleeve.

“Look, Amari,” he spoke as softly as he could. “Kiyoko-san to me is more like… a goddess. Someone you put on a pedestal and admire, but still way outta your reach. But when I’m around you, I feel… way more comfortable. Like when I get to see you at home cooking dinner, not giving a damn about your hair, and getting mad at us, I get really happy. Cause it feels like a side to you that only I get to see.”

He looked up to see Chiyo’s dark blue eyes glassy with what seemed to be tears.

He mentally cursed himself.

“I get what you mean though,” he gave an awkward chuckle. “I mean I literally asked you out the day we met without knowing anything about you. But I promised to get to know you better, and you know…” there was a faint tug at his lips. “The more I get to know you, the more I like you. So trust me. I’d never ask you out with anything other than pure intentions, m’kay?”

Chiyo felt her heart stop as he smiled at her. Her breath was caught in her throat, and when she reminded herself to breathe again, her heartbeat became so erratic she was sure the entire prefecture could hear it.

“Y-You idiot!” Those were the only words that came out when she found her voice again.

“Wha-?” Nishinoya looked genuinely confused. “Why am I still an idiot?”

“Because you just are!” Chiyo turned away, biting down on her popsicle in a feeble attempt to stop the rising heat in her cheeks. She couldn’t understand how he could say something so cringey with a straight face. She then peeked over her shoulder, watching as Nishinoya became lost in thought, wondering exactly what he said that made him an idiot.

“But… Do what you want, I guess,” she murmured just loud enough for him to hear.

Nishinoya’s eyes lit up.

“You got it!”

After that little kerfuffle, the two of them continued on their way home under the setting sun when Nishinoya spoke again.

“But you know, if you wanted me to call you by your first name, you could’ve just asked.”

Chiyo averted her gaze. “When did I ever say that?”

“You got all jealous over how I call Kiyoko-san by her name,” he reminded her with a mischievous grin. “Come on, I’ll start calling you by your first name too.”

“I wasn’t jealous,” she grumbled.

“Come on, Chiyo.” Ignoring her obviously false remark, Nishnoya poked her arm. “Say it. Yuu~”

Chiyo’s eyes wandered from their surroundings to Nishinoya to her feet. She pressed her lips together, struggling for a moment to find her voice.

“Y-Yuu…” Her voice was barely a whisper.

Satisfied, Nishinoya smiled. “I like you, Chiyo.”

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#haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x oc #hq #nishinoya #nishinoya x oc #nishinoya yuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya x y/n #nishinoya x you #haikyuu x you #hq x reader

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beardedmrbean · 3 months

Note

Thank you for liking my collection, perhaps other people will too

But I saw that post about how funimation is shutting down and it’s capitalism fault…but bitch it’s streaming service exclusively for ANIME. A huge niche

Also to the reason why, their both are shitshows. But Sony owns funimation and bought crunchyroll, two anime streaming services

Now crunchyroll(which is a shitshow too) got popular

Like been to your local Walmart?

There a section at Walmart dvd area dedicated to crunchyroll in mine

So while this sucks (especially it seems that Sony isn’t going to let people transition their Funi stuff to crunchyroll) it not shocking

Now their a mess, let compare this to Disney handling of Disney plus and Hulu

Now yes Disney plus app is have a hub for Hulu now. Which thank you, because I have the Disney plus bundle (I sharing it with other people. SHIT THE MOUSE IS COMING FOR ME!) but it sure as hell more convenient for me to use the Hulu hub than go out to another app to watch Hulu content

Though it FUCKING funny how my continue watching can have Disney plus alongside with seienin anime

But anyways, I can see why Sony did that because, both streaming services are niches and crunchyroll is just bigger

But I’m 23, any anime consumption…

Bitch back in the day most westerners anime fans had to watch cable TVs blocks like Toonami. Like my tv consumption were in flux. I didn’t have cable all the time and watch a lot of dvds especially in road trips. A lot of my anime consumption started by watch adult swim aired anime. Or if my family a little bit of money. Cable box where I watch Digimon on Disney old block Jetix

Actually the photo I sent you will probably help your other anime fans on how I consume anime

But anime streaming services…are niche af. Yes anime went mainstream in the west, but they can easily be gone instantly. Actually one of my favorite Drifters was taken off it streaming services. But I was able to get the blu ray

Sorry for the essay…I’m just SHOCKED on how bad certain people over reliance of streaming services is because I still really the twilight years of renting (grew up near a family video)

Thank you for liking my collection, perhaps other people will too

ya like I said I recognized the obvious ones, never really did much with anime.

As for all the services, it's a really weird thought that's come into my head watching all of this.

Most folks out in tumblr land probably won't remember when the "Bell System" was broken up.

The phone system in the US was a legal monopoly, until it wasn't a legal monopoly and the Fed broke it up into regional things and also opened things up to competition for a bit there were hundreds of different phone companies popping up offering the best price on local or long distance and all that good stuff.

Then they started to get absorbed by the bigger ones, still no return to the monopoly since that's not allowed but went from on choice to oddles of choices back down to just a few choices none of which were terrible.

Cellphones did that too when they showed up, was never a monopoly but there were tons of regional outfits selling service, that all got slowly bought up by larger and larger companies.

Cable and satellite TV as well as internet too.

I think we may be seeing that with streaming services, not really any tiny fly by night groups doing streaming services but there's only so many that can be out there before they stop being profitable, especially the niche ones.

Which I think that merger and the price hike that is coming with it is a thing that was basically inevitable, the price hike will reverse if history is any indicator, at leas so long as people remain pissed about it and don't sub.

That or they'll sell packages so you can customize what you want.

Either way I'm still with you on the need to rely less on streaming services, I feel the same way about the cloud, which I refuse to use, I know how to work around all that if the need arises.

#zoomer huey anon

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medicallymercury · 17 days

Text

Casualty: The Novel That Tells How It All Began (questionable book written in 1986)

There’s so much stuff for me to waste my money on now I’m stuck in the 80s Casualty hole. I’ve got two books, one DVD and another DVD on the way! I recognise all of these financial decisions as being absurd.

WHY IS THERE A CASUALTY NOVEL? I hear you ask. The answer is that it’s so I can spite review it when I’m mad at the show. The plot is like… explaining the setting up of the permanent night shift and showing Baz’s first shift at Holby ED/when she met Charlie which is what I thought it was going to be. It’s an absurd piece of literature, everything about it makes you ask “WHY?” but in a fun way. This might be part 1 of multiple because I’ve not read all the way through yet, just around the chapters.

There are things happening in this book that theoretically could have happened in canon but are definitely such a massive deal that they would have been mentioned. It’s a book of retcons and that makes it real Casualty canon to me. What would Casualty be without the magic of the retcon?

They make an attempt to do that classic Casualty thing of having stuff start with someone getting hurt and then cutting to the ED but they’re also trying to tell a story about what happened between the staff at the same time. Seems a lot easier to make that flow on TV than in writing.

THE PARAMEDICS (I never change): I literally bought this just to see if they got a mention and I’m surprised to say that they did! Weirdly described a little differently than how they appeared which leads me to wonder whether this could’ve been written before Casualty started airing? Mute has curly hair in this, which LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER SOUND. She’s also never called Sandra, just Mute, where it tends to be both in the show. Things that are canon, to me: they take turns paying for low quality cafe dinners, Ponting has strong opinions on good home maintenance, Mute is pretty impatient, the ED staff generally seem to love Sandra and hate Andy, which is funny but makes me get on my paramedic-defending soapbox and say “they just don’t get him like I do”.

Another thing that makes me wonder when this book was written is the fact that there’s a character who is without a doubt Kuba, a Polish and pretty eccentric porter, but his name is Stan? Also, endearing: He thinks Mute is a very nice person and once gave her flowers (Ponting laughed at him).

You might’ve thought “there won’t be a sex scene in the Casualty novel” well, there is. It’s not, like, graphic or anything but I still feel that I didn’t need to know that about Baz. Also, rich family Baz is fun, her dad owns everything and good for her.

I mentioned Charlie having an unsettling amount of game in one of my 80s update posts (I haven’t made one of those in a while because I missed Sandra too much and went back to series 1, I’ll get back to watching series 4 soon) and THAT CONTINUES TO BE TRUE IN THIS BOOK. People who want to/do get with Charlie, so far: Baz (series 1), Karen (series 2), Valerie (series 3/4), Liz (his girlfriend at the start of series 1 who features a lot more in this book), some guy working the bar at Ewart’s rich gentleman’s club (Charlie says that he thinks the guy fancies him). I hate to have to tell people this but your idea of Charlie Fairhead probably vastly underestimates just how desirable he apparently is to everyone in Holby. Everyone. Wants. That. Man.

Yeah, that’s all I can be bothered to say right now, honestly I’m just trying to pick out the weirdest things from the book because bookverse is WEIRD!

#i haven’t had time to read it in one go which is how i do reading #i’ve got another book as well guys #the early years which appears to be series 1 form megan’s perspective #bbc casualty

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izzieallstar · 9 months

Text

Sans fanfic, smut, romance, love, rough.

Don't copy text. Warning, slapping, rough sex. FEMALE READER, Name of reader is serria.

WORDS - 3350

This fanfiction is also posted onto my A03 if you'd like to check it out there, where i post its updates.

Sierra headed over to Sans place, to finally spend the night with him, they hadn't hung out for a while and she didn’t want them to grow apart. She knocks twice with her knuckle on the chipped wooden door. “Guess who it is.” She spoke through the crack in the door, smiling, her lungs filling with air.

“The boogeyman?” He said in a sarcastic, dramatic tone.

The door swung open, Sans's grinny smile was wider than usual, His cheekbones sticking out.

Sans moved to the side, letting her in, as she walked by he took a second to notice the way she looked, her curly brown hair falling down her shoulders, her glasses slipping down her tanned nose, and her flushed pink cheeks.

As she walked in, the house smelled of rose with a tang of moldy wood, the lounge sitting with fluffy blankets folded neatly, a few pillows alongside them, the coffee table covered in snacks, from sweet lollies to savory potato chips. As she looks around she places her bags by the lounge, telling herself she’ll sort it out later, feeling a deep pit in her stomach as she turns around, seeing sans by the tv cabinet, holding a cardboard box of discs in his arms.

“I know, I know, we have to use discs tonight, I’m sorry” placing them down by the DVD player.

He smiles, walking over to her, wrapping his arms around her, she hugs him back, they take in the smell of each other, he feels her heartbeat as their chest sits against each other, taking a break from the world around them and just being in each other's presence. Sierra knew something had changed over the time they spent apart, something just wasn't the same as it used to be, not that it was bad, it just felt like there was more than they were telling each other.

“It feels like it's been forever” he says as his head rests on her shoulder.the smell of her freshly washed hair, filling his nose. They let go of eachother, letting their arms swing by their sides. He laughs, looking down at his feet.

“So what should we do? I've got movies, snacks, and even some games, and yes they are board games. It sounds silly, I know.”

“It's not silly. It sounds like you were just excited for me to come over” she replies.

“So maybe I was,” he smiles, walking back to the box of discs.

“What do you wanna watch?”

“I'm not sure, what do you have in there?” She replies

Clicking and clacking the sounds his hand makes, digging into the box, picking up a case but rolling his eyes and mumbling then dropping it back in. dust flying from old disc cases.

“A lot of these movies are all old”

“I bought a movie of my own, actually”

I quickly walk back to my bags, shuffling through the mix of clothes.

“Taadaa, i found it” she raises her hand in the air, tightly grasping the case , putting her lips together and curving them into a toothy smile.

The movie she's holding in her hands is the classic, dirty dancing.

“You think I'm not gonna watch it?” He says

“You don't know how much i love chick flicks, put that shit on”

She laughs, moving herself to the dvd player. He's setting up the pillows and blanket for them to lay down. He taps her side of the lounge, she listens, placing herself down into the leather recliner. Pressing the button on the side, pulling the leg up, to stretch out her legs.

As the beginning scene starts, they settle into the lounge before them, cuddling up to the blankets. Sans grabs a bag of potato chips, placing them on his lap, tearing open the plastic.

Sierra helps herself to the bag reaching down into his lap, his hips bucking up in return. He feels disgusted in himself, their friends, nothing more. Can he not control himself? The thoughts he has about her swirling in his skull, he shakes his head trying to focus back on the screen in front of him. His dick hardened as her hands kept going down near his lap, every now and then her hand slipped placing right on his inner thigh.

A sick feeling brews in his stomach, it feels wrong to think this about her. To think such vulgar explicit thoughts, images, scenarios. His heart thumping in his chest, hearing the pulse in his ears. Closing his eyes in disgust. Get over yourself. He thinks to himself. Hands beginning to sweat, he closes them into two tight fists, rubbing his index finger along the inside of the thumb, trying to soothe himself. He looks to his side, checking to see whether she has noticed anything. She hasn't... A wave of relief flushes through him, his heart calming, his breathing slowing down, relaxing his muscles.

“How about I make us some popcorn?” he looks over.

She hums in reply, agreeing to his question. He moves the bag of chips over to her, moving himself up, taking himself into the kitchen, placing the popcorn packet into the microwave. He leans his back against the marble counter, listening to each pop of the kernel. He waits, the pops getting closer and closer together. The thoughts of sierra flashing back in his head, each pop sends another thought of her running into his head, Pop the thought of her wrapping her lips around him, pop her tongue swirling around his tip, saliva dripping down her chin, her hands holding him, moving them along the vein of his cock, stroking him, sending twitches throughout his body, her hips grinding on him, her mouth agape with each moan, the feeling of her skin against his.

A burning smell floods the room, he snaps back to reality. Quickly turning around, he opened the microwave door, smoke and ash coming from inside of it. He grabs a tea towel from the draw beside him. grabbing the burnt popcorn packet, chucking into the bin.

“You're an idiot, ” she yells from the other room, laughing along with each word.

He opens a window to let the kitchen air out. Sitting back down next to her.

“Stop hogging the blankets”

Tearing one from her.

“Look, look! It's the best part”

The crowd handing her down to the floor, baby runs to Johnny, he takes her in his arms lifting her in the air, her pale pink dress shining from the dozen chandeliers. Her arms spread like a bird's wing, taking in the thrill of being the climax of their final dance.

“Don't you just swoon over that?”

“Sure.”

“What? Come on, you can't tell me that wasn't amazing.”

“It was good, yes. Happy?”

“You just don't get it. Its cinematic history.” her hands making explosion gestures

An unwavering silence filled room, replacing the air.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom” Sierra spoke up, cutting the awkward air.

She left in a swift movement, escaping the tension between them. Sans sat there, still his thoughts pounding with the vision of her body. He rests his hands on his boney thighs, swiping the sweat from his palms.

He takes a second to breathe sitting by himself on the lounge, he lays his back against the couch, rubbing his skull. He takes himself up, walking over to the bathroom, knocking on the door.

“Are you okay in there?”

“I’ll be out in a minute”

“Okay, i'll be here”

He kneels down against the bathroom door. Waiting silently, picking at the dead skin around his nails. He patiently waits, darting his eyes around the surrounding area, tapping his fingers on his knees, bobbing his feet around in his loose shoes. He sighs, relaxing himself against the door, letting his arms down his side, his legs stretching out on the ground. Closing his eyes, letting his head rest on the door.

–

A banging bounces through his eardrum, startling him, hopping onto his feet. He looks up, seeing Sierra standing in the door, laughing her ass off, her hands slapping the doorframe and her thigh.

“I cant - breathe” her eyes swelling up with tears, she falls to the ground laughing, her hands and knees against the wooden floor. Tears fall down her cheeks, clear droplets landing down on the wooden floor.

“Oh, is it funny? Huh?” standing there embarrassed he crosses his arms.

She gets up, feeling the tone of his voice change, standing on her two feet, she looks back at him. His eyes are staring into her, pupils dilated, eyebrows furrowed and thick.

“You look good when you’re on knees”

“What?”

“You think I didn't hear those little muffled moans in there? Trying to keep down the noise of you pleasuring yourself?”

“What? What are you saying?” Sierra took a step back, she was shocked by what she was hearing. Her hands began to sweat, her breathing hitching up with every look back he gave her.

A familiar heat began to boil below her belt, tingles being sent down her thighs, a wet slick formed in her panties, soaking through the thin layer of cotton and polyester.

“I'm saying, I know what you were doing.” He began to walk closer to her, one forceful step after the other.

“Tell me now, were you doing what I suspected?”

She looked down, humiliated. She shook her head up and down. Her heart was pounding against her chest

He moves his finger to her chin, bringing her head up to look at him.

“I want to hear you say it”

Her eyes raced about the room, trying to find a way out; the twisting and turning in her stomach wouldn't stop, going around like a carousel, one ride after another.

"Yes," she responded while closing her eyes.

"That's all I was hoping for hear"

She's still for a second, taking in the sensation of his lips pressing on hers. Their lips move in harmony, his tongue gliding around her mouth, tasting her. His hands grip her waist and pull her in, one hand dropping down and grabbing her ass and pulling her body onto his.

“What are we doing?” she says against his mouth

"Fuck whatever we had been, I need you," he responds, quickly returning to her lips with his, salvia decorating their lips. Her hand slipped to the back of his head, pushing his mouth against hers. Putting his soft hair between her fingers. She rubs her thighs together in an effort to give the friction she craves.

He spotted her doing, taking one of her hands, moving it to her waistband, and going underneath her pants with her underwear.

“You want this?”

“Yes” she replies, coming out in sharp short breaths.

His hands dips down her panties, finding her already soaked clit, rubbing the sensitive bud in circles.

In response to his hands touching her, her body rocks back. Her thighs twitch, forcing him to go rougher and faster against her clitors . She bites her lip, and beads of blood fall down her lips, tingling her tongue with the irony of blood. He moves his lips around her neck, covering each spot of her neck in a heated saliva residue, she pulls on his hair and pushes his head into her neck, feeling more of his lips against her. Her breathy whines reach his ear, hardening his cock at the sound. The scorching heat of her arousal expands through her stomach, into her lower abdomen, and into her shaky limbs, her hips rock into his feeling his hard on against her, she feels the firmness of his dick pressing against her, she keeps pushing her inner thighs into him, getting a feel of his body.

Sierra whispers into San's ear, "Let's go somewhere else."

He pulls away from her, grabbing her hand and leading her into his room, through the icy corridor, and into his room on the left side.

His hands move down to her hips, pushing her body flat down on the bed, she arches her back, feeling the warmth of his hands laying on her thighs, he feels the hot flesh beneath him, moving his face down to her knees, kissing her gently on her knees, slowly moving his mouth up, dragging his lips along the inner part of her thighs, kissing the boiling skin underneath him, her hips rocking up, begging with her body, begging for the touch of him. He looks up into her eyes, her mouth agape, breathy moans escaping with each feel of his lips, her hands gripping onto his head, moving him further and further up until she abruptly stops just below her abdomen.

"You could have simply asked."

He moves his hands to the waistband of her shorts, carefully slipping them down, noticing the anticipation on her flushed face, her plump cheeks red with pleasure and simmering heat.

He brings her pants down to her calves, slipping them down off of her feet, he brings himself up to her mouth, kissing her soft lips, feeling the heat of her skin on his hands as they caress her rosy cheeks.

“Take me” she cries out

“Say it again”

“Take me, please” she whimpers like a poor little puppy, begging for it. For him.

His mouth moves to the bare surface of her, kissing the prickly hairs and the soft skin, she squirms underneath him.

“Please” she begs

He continues to tease her, kissing her inner thighs, hearing her breathing arise with each touch,, the heat becoming unbearable she brings her own hands down. He takes notice, grabbing her hands and bringing them above her head.

“What do you think you're doing?”

“Well, you won’t touch me”

Her pupils dilated with the exhilaration of his anger. She fights against his hands, ripping out of his lock.

“No the fuck you don’t”

He turns her on her stomach pulling her ass into the air, her knees and elbows digging into the mattress.

He brings his hand in the air, slapping down on her soft ass. A tingling running through the skin, her skin becoming red with each second that runs by.

“Tell me, you won’t do that again, will you?”

“Who thinks you can control me?”

Another slap against her burning body, a wildfire of heat and pain spreading around her body.

“Another awaits you if you wanna keep back talking”

“Fuck you” she yells

A vicious slap hits her ass once again, an agonizing pain rushing through her.

“Say, that, again.”

“Fuck. You”

His hand wraps around her throat, squeezing it. With each tightening, her airways closed.her vision began to swim as her mouth hung open.

“Have you learnt your lesson?” whispering in her ear.

“What are you gonna do if I haven't?” she struggles to speak, the pressure of his hands around her throat remaining the same.

“You don't listen, do you?”

“Why should I listen to you?”

“You'll regret it if you don't start soon”

“I don’t think i will”

“Oh, You think that, do you?”

“I do, actually. You don't have what it takes”

“I don't?”

“You don’t” she takes her time with each syllable.

His hands began tightening on her throat, each tightening and squeeze blacking out her vision. He brings her throat up to his head pulling her body along the way.

“Tell me, I don't have what it takes. Look at me when you say it.”

She looks back at him, his eyes looking down at her bruised body. “You don’t” she attempts to say.

His hand hits her face. .

“Say it again.”

“You. Don't”

Her cheeks turn ruby red as she is slapped on the other cheek. A tiny bruise is starting to form. Her eyes filled, and each blink caused a tear to fall down her crimson colored face. She looks up at him with Doe eyes, her eyes appearing as glass, a clear gloss coating her amber coloured eyes.

“Look at me just like that, baby”

He pushes her face down into the mattress, her muffled cries getting louder with each slap against her. Her brown curly hair turned into a mess, spread out onto the firm pillows. Her hands gripping the sheets each time his hands connect to her skin, slapping her tanned tender flesh. He grips her hips pulling them up and against his crotch, she can feel his hard on digging into her through his jeans.

“Beg for it” He whispered into her ear.

“Please” She cried out. “Take me”

Her hands go down and tug at his belt, she moves her body to face him, her legs underneath her thighs as she sits on the bed, he stands close his hard on bulging against his black jeans. Her hands fumbled with his belt, unbucklinging the cold silver. She pulls his pants down past his thighs, then removing them completely and off of his feet.

His black boxers showed the thick outline of his cock. She brings her hand to the waistband of his boxers freeing his dick from the tight fabric. His tip leaking precum, the vein of his cock popping, the black hairs around the bottom of his cock prickling up, the hairs slightly curled. She brings her hand to her mouth, spitting into her palm and bringing it back to his erect cock. She looked up at him, his eyes closed shut and his eyebrows curved, his mouth remaining agape as her slick hand moved along the length of him. He brings his hand to her head bringing her closer to his cock, she wraps her pretty plump lips around him. He pushes his hips forward, pushing himself deeper down her throat. His cock throbbing in her mouth, filling her up. His hands move to her hair, wrapping it in his hands, pulling her on and off of him.

“Fuck my pretty mouth” she looks up at him, tears welling in her eyes. Her mascara clumped on her lashes.

He pushes her head down, she gags over the girth of his dick, and she gazes up at him. Her eyes were filled with pleasure and pain, as tears trickled down her cheeks.

“You take me so well, my pretty girl”

The wet sounds of him fucking her mouth fill the room. Spit dripping down her chin and down her chest. His breathing gets heavier, his chest rising with each bob of her mouth.

“Just like that, baby” he groans, his hips stuttering with each devour of his cock.

Each swirl of her tongue around his sensitive tip had his cock twitching and throbbing, she could feel the size of him swell inside her, he slams the back of her throat repeatedly, tears running down her cheeks, her foundation rubbed off around her chin, with the wet slobbery of spit dripping down her face. Her hands gripping his thighs, her nails dipping into him, squeezing down on him.

“Keep going, I’m so fucking close” his hands wrap harder around her hair, the force of his hands becoming rougher, faster, harder.

His hips pushed himself down her throat, slamming himself into her, giving her a chance to breathe. He moves quicker and quicker, he groans out, slumping himself over her and he shoots himself down her, cumming into her dripping mouth.

He takes his cock from out of her mouth, she sits on her knees once again looking up, her mascara rubbed all over her face, her mouth red and dripping with a mixture of cum and spit. The mixture spills down her chest, dripping onto her thighs, slipping between them. She rubs the cum inbetween her thighs, feeling the warmth of him, she brings her finger down and pulls a string of his cum into her mouth. Tasting him along her tired tongue.

“Look at you, my gorgeous girl. How do I taste?” he smiles, bringing his lips down to hers, kissing her swollen red lips.

Her brown eyes bloodshot red, bruising forming on the soft cheeks of her rosy face.

She brings herself to his ear, “I want you to stretch me out. Fuck me. Hard”

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betterbooktitles · 4 months

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Screen Time, Take 5: A Blast From The Past

My college girlfriend asked me to watch Fellini’s La Strada with her one night. A professor from the theater department had assigned it for a class I’m sure was spent forcing students to walk across the room pretending to be tigers or as if moving through Jell-O before discussing a Samuel Beckett play they all had skimmed that week. I agreed to watch the movie. Of course, I owned a two-disc DVD copy of the La Strada and, of course, in the two years since I bought it, had failed to watch it. My Fellini phase started at 16 because Roger Ebert said I had to like La Dolce Vita (I saw it, hated it, pretended to like it for years), and solidified when a cool, attractive person I never ended up dating told me her favorite movie was 8 1/2, a movie that rewired my brain so that I only liked that movie and no other movie for about 5 months. Certainly, La Strada would be somewhere in the middle?

It isn’t. But that didn’t stop my girlfriend and I from popping in the second disc after we’d muscled our way through it to see a special feature with Martin Scorsese saying “this movie is good” for 40 minutes over clips of the movie we had finished watching five minutes prior.

“I don’t like how it’s dubbed.” I said.

“It’s the commedia dell’arte,” she said as I brewed a giant travel mug’s worth of coffee at my dorm room desk. This was before K Cups. I had a big tub of grounds and a machine that made one travel mug’s worth of coffee in my room so that I could wake up five minutes before class, and be caffeinated by the end of my morning power walk to Olin Hall. I also found that I needed caffeine in the evenings to get through any movie screening or exhausting conversations with other Bard students.

“OK. Yes. I get that.” I put the disk in the DVD player and sat back down in the maroon Dorito-dust-covered papasan. I poured powdered creamer into the mug and hit the button on the remote to hear what Scorsese had to say.

“La Strada is about commedia dell’arte.” he said to the documentarian.

“Hmm.” My girlfriend looked at me and then wrote ‘commedia dell’arte’ in her notebook. I rolled my eyes. She had recently learned about a subject, told me about it, heard the subject mentioned back to her, and wanted to make sure I heard that she was right about the thing that she said because now a professional director was saying it back to us from a screen. She often gave this affected performance of making sure I heard something she’d said before repeated by a friend at a party or a professor. It irked me but it was far from her most annoying habit (the incessant cheating).

There are several ways I would have reacted differently now. First, I would have remembered to bring my travel mug to the cafeteria so I could bring better coffee back to the dorm that evening. Second, I wouldn’t have scoffed at a person who knew a fact, heard the fact repeated, and took pleasure in acknowledging “Yes. I know that fact.” This moment of satisfaction is one of the rare pleasures a smart person gets to have.

Who doesn’t love already knowing stuff? It feels great. At a party “yes, anding” someone who said a fact you also know from a Bill Bryson book you both read? Or hearing someone repeat a snippet from RadioLab and finishing their sentence? That’s a true nerdy connection. It’s the same feeling I get when I read a history book and see an event I memorized the name of in high school and finally gain a real understanding of said event now that I have the patience to read and comprehend a modicum of historical context. Is there a word for that? For seeing something you’re familiar with in passing and then retracing your steps to find out more information, or even information you already knew? Not self-satisfied smugness, like someone who says “hmm” after your boyfriend’s hero repeats a phrase on a DVD extra. Not confirmation bias exactly. I mean the joy of watching a Ken Burns documentary and when the narrator mentions The Teapot Dome Scandal, your brain lights up and says “The Teapot Dome Scandal. We know about The Teapot Dome scandal. Hmm. Yes.” I swear, this feeling must have a name. It’s on the tip of my tongue.

Read the rest here

#reading #writing #creative writing #essays #personal essay #amreading #review #movies #books #monsters #writers #funny #memory #idioms #language #dan wilbur

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shootingxstardust · 2 months

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Jurassic Dead (2017) Review

Jurassic Dead

So this movie was one that I bought on a whim. I was at a used CD and DVD place with my dad, and bought this while on vacation. I spent $4.00 and I regret nothing.

A couple nights ago, I watched this movie with @shxxtteredfantasy. This movie.. It was entertaining to say the least. And yes as the polls said, I am going full spoilers with this review because I am pretty sure none of you will watch this.

So the film begins with this professor dude. He's getting this secret green formula that brings dead thing back to life. The guy who gives him said formula is threatening to kill him. The professor guy injects a dinosaur and the dinosaur kills everyone at the scene, but the professor guy.

Skip to one year later, the professor guy is teaching his class about reanimation, and injects a dead cat, with the green formula. This scene bothered me because he said "You need a lot for it to work" HE USED LESS WHEN BRINGING BACK A FRICKEN DINOSAUR... Also where's the dinosaur during this?? Who knows... Well because of this professor being Frankenstein levels of insane, he gets fired, vows to get his revenge, and then gets hit by a truck...

Some time later we meet two groups of characters

the Black ops in which we have Duque (who looks like Duke Nukem... and yes they reference this), Stick, the only person of color in the film and one of the few who survive, some asshole guy with a bandana, and a badass token lady character who... I don't think had one line of dialogue.. At least none that I can remember... oh and one guy that dies in the very begining

The second group we have a stereotypical blonde.. (like so stereotypically stupid I'm surprised she didn't need to be reminded to breathe, by the characters.), a stereotypical jock...( who has a gun for some reason... and brings up the 2nd amendment for some reason when he's asked why he as one...), a nerdy girl playing Game Boy, and a nerdy guy doing weed.

After a meteor causes all the electricity in the area to stop. (phones, cars, gameboy, etc) the gang of high schoolers find themselves in a weird science facility. The same facility that the black ops people are investigating. The facility soon fills with green smoke, one of the black ops guys who had separated from his crew, breathes in the smoke and becomes zombie.

The high schoolers and the Black ops team soon run into each other, and the douche in the bandana (whom a couple scenes ago pointed a gun at them while they were driving, confiscated the nerd girl's and guy's weed.

A TV then comes on. It turns out the professor guy who got hit with a truck is not dead. He is wearing a cloak because he is evil, and a gas mask.. and he sounds like grocery store Darth Vader. He then announces his very evil plan to turn off all the electricity in every major city, and then turn everyone into Zombies. He then of course, announces that no one in the facility is going to survive and releases his dinosaur to kill him.

Duque walks right over to the dinosaur and decks him in the face. The dinosaur is then presumed dead and they walk away. However, of course, the dinosaur is not dead! Now it wants revenge on Duque and the crew!

The groups have now split up for some reason.. It's the jock guy with the bandana guy. The Bandana guy gives the jock some beanie weenies, and then starts smoking weed and talking about chemtrails and other conspiracy theories, but their time of smoking weed and enjoying beanie weenies is cut short as the dinosaur grabs the jock guy. Instead of doing anything to help, Bandana guy books it,

Bandana guy regroups with the rest of the crew. However, the Jock guy is dead, but not completely. he is now a zombie. He arrives at the scene and says to the blonde (his girlfriend) "I love you." The blonde then runs over to hug him, despite him being a zombie. Duque however is on the scene and shoots him before he can bite/ kill her, but not before getting bit himself. The blonde is hysterical, crying about her boyfriend being murdered, despite him being a zombie, and while Stick is trying to convince her that she needs to get going.. The Blonde stupidly does not leave, and then gets eaten by the dinosaur that has shown up yet again.

The crew have two missions now, to stop the villain's evil plot, and get out alive, but.. when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. The nerd girl went quickly, not wanting to take her time while there's zombies on the loose, however, the nerd boy criticizes her on her bathroom hygiene. He then goes to the bathroom, presumably number 2, because he's taking forever... However, Duque isn't doing so hot... While in the stall, he becomes a zombie..

The bandana guy is also using the bathroom, and says that he's suffering from a case of the bubble guys. He then does some more weed... As he's doing his business, Zombie Duque opens the stall and starts strangling bandana man. The nerd guy during all of this... just stays in the stall, instead of doing the logical thing of leaving. Bandana man tries to get his gun out, but accidentally shoots the nerd guy right in the head.

Okay okay what next

Assassin lady kills the now zombie bandana man, the nerd girl somehow knows code and hacks into the system, but the system has a safeguard and now the facility is about to blow up.

The professor realizes he has to leave, but then the dinosaur shows up and eats him.

The remaining crew find a military vehicle equipped with a turret, they kill Zombie Duque and the dinosaur with it. They then escape the facility by somehow crashing the military vehicle through the wall and escaping, but it's too late, the villain won, and all the characters are zombies... but sentient... and they adopted the dinosaurs head as their pet.. They then drive off into the desert sunset.... The end..

This movie was a nonsensical mess, but... I love these type of movies. I was never bored. All in all I give it 6.5/10

#Out of Blue Flames {OOC}#review

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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 6 months

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EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS is such a confounding movie.

I recently watched a batch of deleted scenes, of which I wasn't aware of until rather recently. I had once listened to its director, Seth Kearsley, talk about the picture on a podcast as well. Fascinating stuff all around about its production, and all the ins and outs, how they went about their decision-making, etc. Seemed like it was a fun movie for many of its crew to work on, and they seemed to be treated well too. RARE for an animated movie of this caliber, it seems.

youtube

It has gone down, almost notoriously, as being considered one of the "worst" animated movies ever...

Weirdly, when I was 11 years old, I was lowkey OBSESSED with this movie. I didn't even know it existed until it was out on DVD, and when I watched the whole thing through, I was hooked for some reason. Maybe it was because it was, at the time, a good-sized 2D animated feature that wasn't set in the past, a fantasy world, a sci-fi setting, or anything like that. EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS wasn't IRON GIANT nor EL DORADO nor SPIRIT nor TITAN A.E. nor TREASURE PLANET... It wasn't like LILO & STITCH from the same year either, which is also a contemporary story, but that has aliens in it! And was family-friendly. This was set in the present, it was more for adults, it was just people being people with *some* cartoony elements (such as cute anthropomorphic deer and some of the exaggerated, if not demeaning character designs), it was even really semi-realistically gross in some parts (and not in the sort of, say, exaggerated REN & STIMPY way), it could've easily been a live-action Happy Madison production. But it wasn't. Many of the movie's detractors feel it should've just been done in live-action.

The movie is inspired by the Whitey character from one of Adam Sandler's comedy albums, and sometimes I feel the movie could've worked better with him as the main character and Davey a complex deuteragonist. Going through the deleted scenes, you could tell the crew went through a few ideas of just how far they wanted to push the exaggerated, cartoony stuff. What kind of jokes they thought could work or that they could get away with, etc. Certainly a cartoonish decapitation of a kid, and a monkey that explodes into a gory mess would've easily landed this thing an R rating, but they weren't going for that ultimately. You have this weird mix of a very dark and often mean movie, but it's also PG-13 and it doesn't go too far so it's more accessible to kids and still fits the bill of being a "warm holiday special" kind of movie. I do gotta give props to the filmmakers for wanting to make a big, mainstream Hanukkah movie in a sea of gazillions of Christmas movies, no matter the end result.

And yet... It worked on this fellow when they were 11 years old, so Sandler, Kearsley and his crew must've done something right! I can quote most of this, that's how obsessed I was with this movie circa December 2003-January 2004. With holiday money or something, I literally bought the VHS of it. We had it on DVD as well, but I bought a VHS for myself because back then, I did not have a DVD player in my room... So, a tape it was. It came with the live-action short A DAY WITH THE MEATBALL, starring Adam Sandler's bulldog at the time, much like the DVD.

So yeah, I find it a fascinating movie to this day, not because of its battlefield of tones (life itself is tonally uneven, too) or some of its truly strange sequences such as the one where the product placement all comes to life in the mall, but because of its history and also... The visuals are quite nice. IRON GIANT animation team involved (the boy Benjamin kinda reminded me of Hogarth anyways, of course I made the connection at a young age), and even the songs I find amusing. They got Alison Krauss to sing on at least one of them, so that's a plus. Some of the eleventh hour rushed stuff, such as the declining animation quality on the townspeople during the Bum Biddy bit, is fun to spot too. And I do overall like the premise of this movie; a relentlessly kind man who is overlooked by his community Odd Couple-ing with a total asshole who had a tragic childhood, in a sort of blah and miserable blue-collar town setting, some heavy stuff that this movie that - with more tact and less poopy jokes - could've really handled well.

I hate the term "guilty pleasure", but this could possibly be that for me. That's what I like about "bad" animated movies of the '90s and early '00s, there's usually something very interesting going on in it, whether it's through the seemingly-confused storytelling or the idiosyncratic choices in the visuals. I think with a slew of cheap live-action movies, those are indeed efforts at the end of the day, but with an animated movie... There's a lot more to it, and that it's a miracle one of these things even gets finished, let alone released. In live-action, it's just they shot a bit and did some post... With an animated film like this, a lot happens along the way, no matter the end product. It's easy to say "it's all negated by the script", but I think it's more complex than that... And that's part of what I find appealing about EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS to this day.

#Youtube

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spiked-mall-goth · 11 months

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ummmmm guys. i have had a day let me tell you. super long diary like entry lol

i had to get up early to go see my papa and help him move some furniture, and although i was running on a total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep i was excited. he lives out in the city and its about an hour and a half drive but the highway is completely surrounded by trees so that was a fun ride. listened to lots of music and talked about barbies with my dad. we counted 21 total yard sales on the trip.

got home and ate lunch after unloading some beds. my papa wanted some old twin beds out of his house so we took them home. i have a new mattress now!! which hopefully means far less daily back pain!!

after lunch we decided to go to a few of the yard sales we passed by. and let me tell you i got a HAUL. i got a pair of really nice pajama pants that have little skulls on them, then at the next one they had SO MUCH STUFF!!! like guys.. i got a sweater for 25 cents.. GUYS. i got a little black sweater, a flowy black summer top, a fucking black velvet CAPELET, and the most gorgeous black 80s prom dress; although sadly it does not zip and needs alterations but its WORTH IT!!! it has really big poof sleeves and a massive flower sash omg guys its AWSOME. at the same place i also got a little fake ivy for my kitchen :D it desperately needed a little life, a big ass puzzle to work on with my brothers, and they had MOUNDS of vhs tapes... for FREE. soooo uh yeah. may or may not have come home with like twenty new tapes. oh yeah did i metion that i only paid like a total of six dollars so far?? i made out like a Bandit. final yard sale and the woman was like 'uhhhh $1.25.'. so for a $1.25 i got a peanuts drinking glass (i think from mcdonalds..), the entirety of firefly on dvd, and a ceramic angel. normally i do not go for religious imagery in my decor, but. it was like 102F.. i hadnt slept since my two hour night.. i was severely dehydrated.. heat exhaustion was setting in a little bit.. and i dunno, she just called to me. she reminded me of laura palmer.

okay, so i get home and unload all my of goodies, then i start cleaning my room. i have to disassemble my old bed frame and clean under my bed and shit. i already have a pounding headache at this point but i have schedule to keep. beds gotta be moved b4 tmrrw. so i am FIGHTING trying to get the frame apart, i'm all sweaty and gross and i finally get it!! :D i feel some stuff falling over behind me and b4 i can even look up i get whacked right upside my head loony tunes style with a huge metal beam :( i start feeling kinda funny and i vaguely remember talking to my brother who told me to lie down. i pass out cold and hard on the couch for about an hour. vague memories of seeing something in the room with me. not really important i just think you should know.

wake up to my brothers shaking me to make sure i havent DIED. i lived! yayyy!! ate dinner, and then it was time. i have been looking at this online auction for over a week now and it was ending in a matter of minutes. i did when some some stuff! i got the directors cut of JTHM, revenge of the filler rabbit, and some other comic which i cannot remember rn.. but anyways it was 5 bucks! and then i bought a snoopy wallet for a few dollars. although i did miss out on a clear phone.. so sad. but overall i had a very good shopping day today idk why. everything just like fell into my lap at affordable prices... like wow..

after the auction i still had not moved my new bend in (ya know.. bonk on da head) so i fight forever to get it put together. but yippeee!!! its al here! and i was given a new blanket to put on it which is very soft :3

anyways now im here after showing and watching x files for a bit.

if you read all of that.... wow. ily <3. i normally dont like to just like info dump about my irl daily stuff, but today was just so like action packed it was kinda bonkers. anyways i have to go to bed bc i have more stuff going on tmrrw.... and i honestly might just cancel them.. i am TIRED.

#spikes rambles #sorry. loooooooonnnnggg ass post lol #but just so much HAPPENED

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elsanna-shenanigans · 2 years

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June Contest Submission #6: Break Free

Words: ca. 8,500 Setting: mAU Lemon: no Content: homophobic stuff Image: Link

Elsa closed the door quietly, and let out a sigh of relief. It was Friday evening, which meant George had bought some DVDs for a movie night with the kids, and she finally had some time to breathe. As a stay-at-home mom, some people would say that she didn’t have any right to complain, and they weren’t that wrong. A nice, hardworking corporate lawyer as a husband, three lovely kids, and the perfect home in a perfect London neighborhood. How could Elsa dare to ask for more?

The warm weather of late July hit her as a small breeze moved the hem of her floral dress. It was still sunny despite the hour, making it the perfect time to have a nice little walk, alone, without having to worry about anything else but herself. Elsa didn’t really have any specific destination in mind, so she let her feet wander as her thoughts were already miles away.

Minutes faded away and the 38 years old woman began to see more and more people as she walked past pubs and bars starting to fill up. Not the biggest fan of crowded places, she changed her course, opting for a quieter road, enjoying this particular feeling of solitude and peace. The weight in her chest was finally starting to ease, and breathing became a little easier than twenty minutes ago. Maybe it’s time to go back home, she thought, and started to turn her heels until a familiar tune made her stop in her tracks.

Dear Lord, it’s been so long since I’ve heard this one.

Her heart had made a little jump when Freddie Mercury’s voice had reached her ears, singing I Want To Break Free, and nostalgia had suddenly filled her veins like a warm, comforting fire. Elsa nibbled on her lips, checking the watch on her left wrist. It was 8pm, but she knew that George had planned to order some pizza, so there was no need for her to cook. Maybe she could let herself have a little me-night out, just for once. The kids wouldn’t even mind, way too glad to have some time with their father for once.

Elsa eyed the facade of the tiny bar, still not moving from her place, teeth once again tearing the fragile skin of her lips. How long has it been since..? Oh, well, fudge it, I’m going. Resolution marking her steps, she breached the entrance, and instantly felt like she just went three decades back in time.

The walls were coloured a dark red, not that it mattered that much because they were covered by black and white pictures. Celebrities, musicians, or maybe even random people for what she could know. It was just everywhere. Most of the frames even had tiny coloured lights embedded in them. Wooden tables were placed here and there, with different types of chair every time. So… Strange, but at the same time weirdly welcoming. It was such a contrast to her neat and neutral house, so different. She loved it immediately, the tiniest smile making its appearance on her previously anxious face.

She took one of the only free stools in front of the bar, trying her best to ignore the curious looks on some of the customers’ faces, and relished in the sound of the guitar solo. She remembered it clearly, the first time she heard that song. Summer of ‘85, she was only 11. She was supposed to stay at home with her cousin Kristoff, 18 at that time, while her parents had to go to an important dinner with dad’s colleagues. Her cousin had brung a few vinyl records, and it had some Queen in there. When mom and dad came back they found her hysterically jumping on the couch, mimicking the guitar player, while a laughing Kristoff watched her, beer in his hand.

Her mom had been furious and shouted for a good fifteen minutes, saying that this kind of behavior was not acceptable at all and that any proper girl would certainly not be listening to this kind of “music”, if it could even be called music at all.

She hadn’t been allowed to see Kristoff for years after that. Officially, the next time they met was at her own marriage, nearly sixteen years afterward. Officially. She may or may not have

“Can I help you there?”

A feminine voice made her quit her thoughts, and Elsa noticed a pair of hands in front of her. She looked up, and was met with a sight that would have probably made her mother faint from sheer shock.

A redhead was eyeing her from behind the bar, a polite smile staying on her lips, but the color of her hair wasn’t really the point here. You see, she had tattoos. A lot. On both arms. Intricate ink drawings, covering what looked like pale freckled arms. Firm arms that were slowly folded, as an eyebrow arked, questioning. Oops. She was staring.

“Uh, uhm, y-yeah, uh… Do you have, err, a gin tonic..?” That was the first coherent thing that came to her mind to be honest.

“Sure thing we do”

“Then I’ll have that, please,” Elsa concluded quickly, desperately trying to ignore the heat that spread in her cheeks as the redhead chuckled, turning away to prepare her drink. Shoot, here I am, getting as red as a beetroot just to order the simplest cocktail on earth. She sighed, her hands rising to massage her temples. What a start…

“The gin tonic for the lady. Wanna start a tab?”

“Uhm, no, thank you,” she answered, holding the tall glass with both hands as if it could blow up in her face, before gently placing it on the counter. Fortunately, she had her husband’s card on her in case, and quickly paid. The redhead—the bartender, obviously— turned her heels to check on another customer, and Elsa felt free to go back to staring. She had a sleeveless top and flannel shirt. And it wasn’t even covering her shoulders?! And ripped jeans?! Forget the syncope, mom would have gone straight to the heart attack.

The thought of her mother seeing this place made the blonde hold a chuckle. Instead, a smile slowly started to form on her face as she finally placed her lips against the cool glass of her drink, tasting the alcoholic beverage. It was liberating, in a way, to be in such a different environment from usual. She’s probably looking out of place with her pastel floral dress and her heels, but Elsa couldn’t even try to care about it.

She left as soon as she finished her gin tonic but not without addressing a smile to the bartender on her way out. She would probably never go back here.

Something had changed that night. A tiny cog added to a well working machine, but a cog that could derail everything with its arrival.

***

“Hey, darling, great news! I finished early, so I should be home in half an hour or so. I’ll bring some take out, you know that Chinese place? The boys love it. That way, you’re free for the evening.”

“That’s awesome dear, thank you. See you later, love you”

“Love you”

Elsa hanged the phone, and sighed in relief. They were getting guests the next day, and she’ll probably have to cook for some long hours. Getting the night off meant the world at that moment.

“Mom, mom! Charlie doesn’t want to give me the DS back!”

“You lost three times, it’s my turn now, stop being such a baby!”

“Arthur, I already told you, you’ve got to share. We only accepted to buy it for your 10th birthday on the condition that you’d both share equally. If it’s Charlie’s turn, it’s his turn” she answered, a pain starting to form behind her eyes. A sigh left her lips. She needed some fresh air, quickly. Sadly, she was instantly reminded why she couldn’t leave the house as long as George wasn’t back when a tiny pair of arms circled her thighs. Ocean blue eyes, perfect copy of her own, looked up to her with worry in them.

“Are you alright Mommy?” His lower lip started to tremble in the most adorable pout she ever saw. Elsa smiled, bending her knees to lift the 4 years old in her arms and to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“Yes, dear, Mommy’s fine.”

The boy, Adam, seemed satisfied with the answer, and let his head rest against her clavicle while his mother ran her fingers through the soft brown hair. Elsa checked the clock, gently rocking her youngest child as the twins seemed to finally find an agreement on who was going to try his luck against the Elite 4. George should be here soon. Maybe she’ll go for a walk afterward, just to ease the migraine that was slowly building up in her skull.

Her thought soon enough became reality, once her husband came home holding two plastic bags filled with packs of noodles and everyone messily ate. There was a near accident involving the twins and chopsticks, but her quick reflexes managed to save the situation, not without sacrificing the last drop of her patience.

Just like the previous Friday, Elsa let out a sigh as soon as the door was closed. What a day. How the heck am I going to survive tomorrow… She rubbed a hand against her forehead, the thought worsening her case. Even with an Ibuprofen, the headache didn’t seem to calm down.

The blonde gathered every ounce of courage she had left, and firmly grabbed her purse before walking away from the house. She’ll probably find a nice place to go and relax, yeah. Somewhere calm.

“Here, a gin tonic for the lady,” the bartender said, smiling at Elsa’s defeated face. How, Elsa, please, how is a bar “calm and relaxing”? It’s even more packed than the last time! She sighed, again, and drank a sip or two of her drink, all sour of her own stupidity. Her eyes wandered around her, trying to forget some of her embarrassment by watching the other customers. Dear Lord, this woman is wearing so much makeup! She also seems so tall… Wait is it really a wo—

“So, why are you here, exactly?”

Her train of thoughts had been interrupted by the bartender, the redhead one, not the man that prepared her drink. She was cleaning a few glasses, a light smirk resting on her lips, but her eyes were still very much neutral, lacking the playful tone that her voice and body posture had. Elsa knew she was kind of sticking out like a sore thumb, and she’s pretty sure the other woman glanced at her wedding ring. She lowered her glass, and shrugged. She didn’t even know why she was here, to be honest.

“The place feels different, it’s nice to have a change of scenery once in a while” Elsa answered, looking down and playing with her ice cubes.

“Oh, I’m sure it must be quite different from your daily life.” Something in her tone felt intimidating, so much that the blonde only nodded, still intensely interested by the way the ice moved in her glass. She heard a sigh, and Elsa looked up only to see the redhead make an awkward smile. “Sorry bout that, but even if it’s 2013 we still get some pretty hateful people comin’ here, especially since the bill finally passed.”

“I am so sorry to hear that, it’s horrible,” the blond said, bringing a hand to her mouth. She frowned, leaning a bit forward. “Do you know why those people are acting like that?”

She must have said something, because the bartender blinked with unmasked surprise. An awkward chuckle followed, with the sound of a glass being placed on the counter.

“You do realize that this is a queer bar, right?”

It was Elsa’s turn to blink, thrown off by what she just heard. She sipped a bit more of her gin tonic. “Well I wouldn’t say that. The place is special for sure, but I wouldn’t say that it’s weird enough to justify heinous actions…”

Her answer was only met with dumbfounded silence, the redhead looking a bit frozen in place. And then, the laugh. Warm, straight from the belly kind of laugh. Elsa couldn’t help but glance at the chest that was shaking in front of her, just noticing that the other woman was wearing a very short top that was showing her navel — pierced, of course, another thing that would make mom die on the spot. She only stared for half a second, before looking away, embarrassed, blood rushing toward her cheeks and the tip of her ears.

When the redhead finally stopped laughing, she wiped the corner of her eyes, shaking her head. “You… You’re not the most adventurous soul out here, aren’t ya? It’s not like you’re that old either, you’re, what, 30, 35 at most?”

“I’m 38,” she mumbled, raising her glass to her lips, trying to hide her face and more importantly her blush.

“Damn, but still, you aren’t much older than I am. I’m kinda surprised that you don’t know ‘bout that.” Even if the laugh was still palpable in her voice, her tone wasn’t judgemental, only curious. “Queer means that we’re a bit different from you ordinary people. Here, people can blur the lines of gender, men can love other men freely, and women can… Love other women,” she added with a wink, a smirk quickly growing on her face.

“Oh, I didn’t know that… Such things existed… I mean I’ve heard of it, but well, you know, didn’t really realize… Does that mean that I shouldn’t be here?” Worry filled her veins. She liked that place. It had something about it that made it feel… kind of like home? She’d be sad to be forced to leave. Now watch yourself ruin another good thing in your life. She tried to suppress the intrusive thought, in vain.

Her concern was only met with a chuckle. “Nah, as long as you’re kind and respectful we won’t mind your very much heterosexual being here.” The other woman paused, then extended a hand with a much softer smile on the lips. “I’m Anna, by the way.”

The blonde smiled in return, and shook her hand. The palm was soft, but the grip was strong. “Elsa.”

That night, lying next to the sleeping form of her husband, under satin sheets, a thought haunted Elsa.

Women can love other women…

***

During the following months, Elsa’s appearances in the bar became a regular thing. Every time she thought she was going to explode, between preparing meals, the different household tasks, dealing with the kids and her overworked husband… She went back there to drink a gin tonic, and sometimes chat with Anna—oh, how well the name suited the redhead—when the place wasn’t too packed.

It felt easy and natural to talk to the bartender. They weren’t discussing work or school like Elsa did with her family at home, no, it was pretty much random things. Memories, music taste—and Lord knew how much she had missed on that subject, thanks to mom—how the tiny pub that recently opened on the next road was actually managed by a friend of Anna, etc.

The redhead wasn’t always available to chat, but when she was it was like being drowned with random facts and information. Elsa never thought that drowning could be that nice. She always ended up leaving the bar with a way much lighter heart than before coming in.

August passed by way quicker than July, and soon enough it was time for September to come in with its reddening leaves, its rain and of course, school. The twins were starting their last year of primary school, while Adam finally entered reception year, leaving Elsa all alone in the family house during the day.

Obviously, that came with a feeling of emptiness that was difficult to get rid of. Sure, the house would be filled once again by 4pm on the days where the twins didn’t have any activities, but loneliness has always been something that Elsa had troubles dealing with. You’d thought she would be used to it, dad having to work hours and hours while mom attended different kinds of social events, but she never liked that feeling.

September made it difficult for her to visit the bar—and, more importantly, Anna—as much as before. She’d like to come here at the opening time, but it was right at the time the kids finished school and Elsa couldn’t morally leave two young kids alone to watch their even younger brother.

With time she developed a trick to go by simply cooking dinner early, eating her part before leaving the rest for the boys and her husband for when he’d come back. She’d leave the house then, saying that she needed a walk to clear her mind, only to come back when everyone’s sound asleep. That way, she could go once or twice a week, and enjoy a nice evening with Anna, who seemed always glad to talk to her between two customers.

Elsa didn’t tell her husband about the bar. Why that, she didn’t know. It somehow felt too personal to share. The less he knew, the better, right?

***

October passed and a friendship grew between the two women. With each conversation, Elsa felt like she knew Anna better and better. The redhead was 35 and half-Norwegian—Funny, right? She’d say, you look way more Norwegian than me—. She was actually the boss here, and was trying to find another bartender to help during the weekends. She also had an art degree, and could be quite passionate about Basquiat if you poked around a little bit. And if you dig deeper, she’d reveal in a hushed tone, as if it was the biggest secret on earth, that she used to be the game master in a D&D party—Anna tried to explain her the rules, without any real success.

“What about you? You never told me what your job is,” the redhead asked her one day.

“Oh, uhm, I’m actually a stay-at-home mom.”

She waited for actual judgment, or at least some kind of disappointment, the way people usually reacted, but it looked like Anna wasn’t “the usual”.

“Damn, must be quite difficult,” she said, pausing to serve a draft beer to another customer. “I know I wouldn’t be able to do it, would definitely go batshit crazy. Dunno how you do it to be honest.”

Elsa blinked slowly, one time, then another one. Her glass was paused midair between the counter and her mouth, which was actually agaped. A few seconds passed until she finally managed to process the answer, and noticed the amused expression of her newest friend.

“Sorry, I’m not used to this kind of reaction…” She took a sip of her gin tonic, looking away with mild embarrassment.

“Yeah I could tell,” Anna only shrugged.

“You know, I actually began a math degree, and maybe thought of trying code or engineering, subjects like these… But then I met George through Dad’s colleagues and, well, now the rest is history I guess.” Another sip, relishing the light burning feeling of alcohol going down her throat. Maybe I’m getting too used to this, she thought, making the ice cubes roll in the bottom of her glass.

“Do you love him?” Anna said after a pause.

The question definitely took Elsa by surprise. “Oh, uh, yeah, yeah I love him… I suppose?” A grimace twisted her face, realizing that what she just said wasn’t very convincing. “It’s just that we work well together.”

“Oh.” It was clear that Anna was refraining herself from commenting. “Well, just so you know, it’s never too late to go back to your studies if that’s what you still dream of.”

Later, that conversation was repeated again and again in her mind. Elsa didn’t sleep that night.

***

November brought even colder days, much to Elsa’s delight. She liked the freshness of winter, and was very much glad to get to the end of fall. When she entered the bar on a Thursday evening, taking her usual stool by the counter, she was surprised to notice Anna’s absence. Instead, there was this tall, ginger man with the most horrid sideburns Elsa has ever seen. She instantly disliked him. Don’t ask her why, it was just some kind of a gut feeling.

She ordered her usual gin tonic, and could feel the eyes of the unknown bartender on her, until it dropped on her wedding ring. A smirk suddenly appeared on his lips, and he winked at her. Ew, gross. Please, don’t talk to me, she prayed. God seemed to find the case funny, because her prayers were terribly ignored. As soon as she was about to end her drink and get the heck out of here, the bartender leant on the counter right in front of her.

“Normal person, eh? Thought I’d never see one”, he said, some kind of a charming smile resting on his insufferable face.

“Excuse me, but I’m pretty sure that everyone here is normal. Except maybe you and your fucking bigotry.”

She left as quickly as she could, hoping that no one saw her tomato red face.

***

“Ain’t no way you actually said that to him, you’re pulling my leg!” Anna’s laugh echoed in the bar while a blushing Elsa was desperately trying to shush her. It was Saturday evening, only two days after the “incident”, as the blonde prefered to call it. She wanted to tell her friend what happened as soon as possible, feeling way more guilty than the male bartender actually deserved.

“Don’t make fun of me… I was actually scared of your reaction, I mean, I insulted one of your employees.”

“Meh, you did well. I’m actually kinda pleased that you defended us. And anyway, Hans was a new bartender, I only wanted to see if he could deal with customers without me. He’ll be fired, though. Sure, we need more arms to survive on the weekends, but we absolutely don’t want anyone who doesn’t respect us. This is supposed to be a safe place. Thank you for protecting it.”

Elsa felt an awkward churning in her stomach as warmth spread quickly from the tip of her ears to her neck. The fond, soft smile on Anna’s freckled face was indeed beautiful. Who knew friendship could make you feel like that…

“You know what? I want to properly thank you. We’re closing in an hour, if you don’t mind waiting a bit, and I’ll buy us something to eat. I mean, only if you want, obviously.” There it came, the sparkles in her teal eyes, the light that would immediately make Elsa smile even if she didn’t know why. It’s probably just Anna’s joy being really contagious.

“Of course, I’d love to.”

***

Elsa might have drunk a few other glasses while waiting for the redhead, but it was only to refund the meal she was going to get her. It definitely wasn’t because she felt weirdly giddy at the idea of eating dinner with Anna.

When the bar closed, the blonde waited outside, not bothered by the cold. Waiting felt like ages and a second at the same time, because when her friend reappeared, gone was the thought of standing there for twenty minutes.

“Hi!” Elsa should probably be embarrassed by how close of a squeal her voice was, but she really couldn’t care less at the moment.

“Hey, sorry for the wait, I had to deal with the Hans-case stuff, but now I’m all yours.” The bartender smiled, before grabbing her hand. “Come on, it’s not that far. We should be able to grab our burgers just before it closes. They won’t mind, I’m a regular. You don’t mind burgers, right?”

“Burgers are perfect, no worries about that,” she answered a tad late, her eyes focused on the hand holding hers. Black nail polish, uh? A tiny smile formed on Elsa’s lips, willingly ignoring the warmth that creeped up on her cheeks.

A few minutes later, they arrived at a small place, the smell of french fries and grease very much present. The employees looked like they were just starting to clean up, and one of them rolled their eyes as soon as the duo entered.

“Come on Anna, we talked about it, you can’t just come here when we’re about to close.”

To that, the redhead only chuckled and winked. “Can’t help it, I always crave for your food after work.”

They exchanged a few words as Anna ordered, Elsa staying silent by her side. They quickly got their burgers and a portion of waffle fries to share, and were ready to leave when the man taking their orders—who was apparently a friend of Anna— added something.

“Enjoy your night, girls.” And then, he winked.

Elsa was maybe not the ‘most adventurous soul out here’, but it didn’t mean that she wouldn’t understand what was implied here. She could feel a blush rush towards her cheeks and her ears, and looked up only to see Anna in a similar state. Somehow, it felt so weird to see the usually confident woman looking suddenly so shy.

“Erm, uh, it’s not quite like that,” she heard the redhead mumble before she led them both outside.

They walked in silence, quite the difference with their usual constant chattering, until they found a clean looking bench to sit on. Then, both unwrapped their burger, and started eating. And when Anna let out a sigh of satisfaction, Elsa felt like her bowels were suddenly very much tangled. Weird.

“So… Did you actually say ‘you and your fucking bigotry’ to Hans’ face?” The redhead looked at her with mischief in her eyes, already halfway through her burger, barbecue sauce staining the corner of her lips.

“Hum, errr… Yeah.”

A chuckle answered her confession. “Didn’t know you had it in you, thought you were incapable of swearing.”

“Oh, yeah, my parents were very strict about cursing… Said it wasn’t proper for a woman.”

“Aw fuck ‘em. You’re allowed to have a bit of fun, you know.”

Weirdly, those words seemed to bring warmth to her chest, while at the same time creating some kind of tightness there. Her heart ached. The smile that followed was a tad bitter. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

The silence came back once again, only broken by the sound of cars and a few people passing by. They both finished eating their burgers, shared the waffle fries, and that was it. Elsa would have to go back home, now. She stood up, opening her mouth, but was abruptly cut by her newest friend.

“You know what? Give me your phone.” Her hesitation must have been quite visible, because Anna rolled her eyes and extended her hand. “Come one, I just want to add my number there. Nothing weird, I promise.”

Nodding, Elsa opened her purse to grab her phone, unlock it and place it in the opened hand before her. Anna quickly typed in her name and her number. “Just so you can know when I’m at the bar or not, since I’m obviously the reason why you keep going.” She winked, and got up. But instead of giving Elsa her phone back, the redhead threw an arm around the other woman’s shoulders, pressing a cheek against her own. “For my profile picture.”

The blonde only had the time to smile nervously before a flash of light momentarily blinded her. A few seconds later, and her phone was back in her hands. It was time for goodbyes.

“You know, uh, I really enjoyed spending the evening with you. And the burgers were delicious.” God why was she so awkward.

“Yeah, it was awesome. Super cool and all. Especially the part where you told me about the other asshole.” They both chuckled at that.

“Have a nice night, Anna.” Without really thinking, Elsa took a step forward to hug the other woman, feeling even more warm and comfortable when the embrace was returned.

“You too, Elsa. Text me when you get back home, alright?”

A few more words, and that was it. They took different roads, and soon enough Anna was out of her sight. That’s when the blonde finally managed to look at her phone, ignoring the few texts sent by her husband to inform her that he was going to bed, and opened her gallery.

While Elsa looked obviously nervous and surprised by Anna’s action, the bartender was as cheeky as usual, tongue stuck out and two fingers forming a V sign. She looked marvelous. A bit shameful that it was a little blurry.

Easily her new favorite picture.

***

They started texting each other on nearly a daily basis, and you’d thought that it would make their discussions at the bar less animated and interesting, but the clear opposite happened instead. As they kept talking and talking, discovering little bits of each other even more every time, they were getting closer and closer, never tired of chatting together.

November came to an end, and December followed, bringing snow to the roads of London. Elsa’s birthday passed, bringing the usual jewelry gift from George and drawings from the kid. The next evening she spent at the bar though, she was welcomed by the generic “Happy Birthday” blasting through the speakers, and a night of free drinks. By the end of it, the blonde had been so drunk Anna had to call a cab for her to get home safely. She woke up the next day with a tsunami of pictures sent by her friend, and after seeing the walking she had become Elsa promptly decided that she won’t drink that much ever again.

Only ten days after her birthday, it was time for one of the events she hated the most. New Year’s Eve was always such a pressure to deal with. It always ended up being some kind of event with her husband’s colleagues, filled with people she didn’t care about in the slightest. It always felt so fake. George would end up drunk and embarrassing, the kids would be so tired they’d cry at the tiniest issue, and she’d be so annoyed that alcohol wouldn’t even have an effect on her nerves.

This time looked like it would be the exact same scenario once again. Elsa had an expansive dress on her, she drank a few glasses of champagne and smiled politely to every obnoxious man talking about some corporate things and acting as if she was too dumb to somehow understand.

Everyone started to chant to count down loudly, and then that was it. 2013 officially ended, and it was now the turn of 2014 to shine. George kissed her as soon as the ‘Happy new year!’ echoed, but Elsa only felt bitterness against her husband’s lips. She quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom, trying to get a few minutes of peace.

As soon as she got a little bit isolated from the noise and more importantly from all of these despicable people, she felt her phone buzz within her purse. It was a text from Anna, the basic ‘happy new year’ written in capitals with way too many exclamation points and emojis. That alone managed to ease a little bit the weight in her chest, getting a tiny smile out of the blonde.

Then, another buzzing, the text moving higher to let some place for what Anna sent. It was a picture. The redhead looked completely drunk, a can of beer in her hand and the most charming lopsided smile Elsa had ever seen on her lips. All traces of the party going outside of the bathroom abruptly left her mind, only leaving the beautiful, freckled face of her friend. Was it normal to find your friend that attractive? It was Anna after all, you’d have to be blind to not notice that, and Elsa definitely wasn’t blind.

A third buzz managed to bring her back to earth. Once again, Anna sent her a text.

‘wish u were w/ me’

Maybe she needed to simply go outside, in the end, because she suddenly found the bathroom quite stuffy. As she left the room, the thought that she, too, wished to be with Anna lingered for more than a few minutes.

***

The next two months were… A bit awkward. For a reason she couldn’t quite understand, Anna became more distant. It was like she was making extra sure that she was very busy every time Elsa was at the bar, only exchanging a few words here and there. Her texts also became rarer and shorter. Scared that she might have done something wrong, the blonde tried to ask her if everything was alright, which was always answered by a curt ‘all good, no worries’.

Elsa didn’t push for more, not wanting to step on any boundary. She could swear that she saw Anna stare a few times at her wedding band when she thought Elsa wasn’t looking. Maybe it had something to do with the same-sex marriage bill that passed a few months earlier and would be effective soon? She could be scared that Elsa wouldn’t agree, and was just trying to protect herself. It didn’t really make any sense, though, because the blonde had shown many times her support for the LGBT+ cause—and if she was being honest here, it kinda hurts to think that Anna could possibly get this kind of idea.

As March began, the days started to get longer, and the atmosphere in the bar got more and more tense. Homophobes would sometimes tag slurs on the façade, wait to harass or even get into fights with customers. Elsa could see that Anna was getting nervous, as if she was permanently in a fight or flight state. As a side effect, they talked even less than before, which did not help to ease the worry that would gnaw Elsa’s insides.

And then on Saturday 29th of March 2014, same-sex couples were finally able to get married. She sent a couple of texts to her friend to share her happiness about it, and was answered by a single, red heart emoji. The rest of the day went pretty normal. Until, well, George came home from work at 6pm.

“Did you hear that dear? Homos are now able to get legally married! What were they thinking, seriously? This country is losing it, I mean what’s the next step? Pedos are going to be able to marry children? Or even animals?”

This had been the final straw to Elsa’s already very tense mind. The argument that followed those obscenities was probably the longest and most violent they ever did. As much as George’s words didn’t surprise her, because he already mentioned it when the bill passed the year prior, this time Elsa couldn’t let it slide. Not when she spent that many evenings at this lovely queer bar, where she met such amazing and kind people, not when her sole bestfriend, Anna, was gay. She isn’t ignorant anymore. She couldn’t pretend that it did not matter anymore.

In the end, Elsa snatched a bag to stuff it with random clothes, then her purse, and slammed the door behind her. As soon as she was outside, her first reflex was to let out the longest sigh ever and to grab her phone. It was obvious who she was going to call.

“Elsa? Is everything alright?” Anna’s voice seemed tired and worried. They had never called each other on the phone before.

“Um, I’m sorry to ask so suddenly but, can I sleep at your place for tonight? I just had a massive argument with George and I think if I see his stupid face right now I might kill him or something.” She was still boiling, the phone trembling against her ear.

“Oh shit. Of course you can, just come to the bar and I’ll take you to my flat as soon as we’ll close. I’m sorry, I can’t really leave at the moment, there’s a lot of customers to celebrate.”

“No problem, I’ll be there soon. Thank you a lot Anna.”

***

The bar was indeed filled to the brim when she arrived, so much that it made it difficult for her to access the counter where a special redhead was waiting for her. Elsa felt instant relief fill her veins at the sight of Anna. God I’m so thankful right now I could kiss her. Not even realizing the meaning of her own thoughts, she let the other woman grab her hand to guide her to the backroom.

“Come on, let’s free your hands from this bag. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just very, very angry. And tired.”

“Tell me what happened.”

And that’s what Elsa did. She let her emotions out for a bit, eyes watery and cheeks red from the heat that was in her words. By the end of it, she felt empty and way, way better than when she arrived.

Tattooed arms circled her shoulders, and soon she was hugged by her friend. She relaxed at the embrace, finding comfort in the feeling of Anna’s skin against hers. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until a soft voice whispered in her ear.

“I gotta go back to work. You can wait here if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed. As soon as I can, we’ll leave, okay?” And then, the distinct sensation of lips being pressed against her temple. That alone managed to bring Elsa back to the living. “If you need anything, just tell me.”

Following her words, Anna left, but not without throwing her a concerned look and a trying-to-be-reassuring smile. The blonde did not move for a while, not exactly knowing what to do. How would she face George after storming out like this? It’s not even like she could do anything about the situation, because it would be ridiculous to throw in the bin 14 years of marriage just for one argument.

Somehow, what her husband said felt unforgivable. Hearing those words was like being slapped in the face. She felt weirdly involved about it, like the few slurs he said during the argument hurt her personally. Must be because I feel so close to Anna, she thought after sitting on the cold floor, playing with the shoulder strap of the backpack she brought. It was just because she felt insulted on her friend’s behalf, right? Nothing else. Absolutely nothing.

Just how precious is Anna to you, exactly?

Between her argument with George and her recent questioning, it was starting to feel like her world was on the edge of collapsing.

***

When the atmosphere in the bar calmed down a little bit, Elsa took the opportunity to join her friend in the main room. She sat at a different place than her usual one, settling for a chair in the corner since the bar stools were all taken by other customers. She exchanged a look with Anna, who obviously saw her passing by, and nodded. Without any word, she quickly found herself in the possession of a gin tonic ready to be drunk.

The blonde sipped her drink slowly, watching people drink and chatter and everything else, most of them looking very much happy at the idea of finally marrying, a clear opposite to her own situation where she couldn’t think of her husband without disgust. She couldn’t stop thinking about how this was doomed to happen, seeing how her daily life had been gnawing on her mental health for so many months now. Anna truly had been the light in the endless night that her life was slowly becoming.

Elsa sighed. This was stupid. It’s just a bad night, everything will come back to normal soon, and she’ll stop questioning the warm, fuzzy feeling she got every time she stood close to her friend.

Minutes passed, slowly but surely. Little by little, people were starting to leave, closing hours approaching dangerously. Elsa couldn’t help but notice the way Anna was throwing worried looks at her every five minutes or so. It was… Reassuring, in a way, to see that someone cared. While she was sure that her sons were missing her presence, George didn’t even send her a text since she left the house, not even to know if she would come back for the night.

She spent the last fifteen minutes before the closing time fidgeting, trying to distract herself with her phone, until Anna finally joined her.

“Okay, so I asked Ryder if he could close for me, we can go right now if you’re ready.”

Elsa nodded lightly, getting up from her chair. The redhead had already grabbed her backpack to throw it on her shoulder, and grabbed Elsa’s hand to guide her outside. These simple gestures managed to ease a little bit the massive weight in her chest that made it so difficult to breathe properly.

They walked a few minutes until they joined the Tube, and took one of the last trains. The trip was made silently, but Anna never let go of her hand. Elsa was grateful for that. She didn’t know if she was in the best state to actually hold a conversation, and her friend’s hand was doing very well at grounding her.

They soon arrived at Anna’s flat. The place was small, but well-furnished and decorated. The redhead showed her where the bathroom was, then the only bedroom, saying that she could sleep on the couch if needed. Elsa protested, desperately not wanting to feel alone that night. They changed into pajamas, making a point in turning their backs to each other as if they weren’t both past 35 but instead teenagers.

Elsa couldn’t think anymore, not even to the actual situation or to the glimpse of Anna’s back she saw in a mirror’s reflection. She pretty much collapsed as soon as her head touched the pillow.

***

Turned out that no, everything did not come back to normal. The next day, Elsa went back to her house only to be welcomed by George giving her the cold shoulder. That alone managed to make her blood boil once again, but she refrained herself, only for the kids’ sake. She noticed how her sons were worried by the situation. The twins had never played that silently, while Adam was even more clingy than usual.

It stayed pretty much the same for the weeks that followed. Her husband didn’t seem to want to give her any excuse about how he behaved and about the atrocities he said. He probably felt very much in the right, much to Elsa’s dismay. In return, the blonde went as often as she could to the bar, only to cool down a little bit and let go of her exasperation.

Anna was still a bit awkward with her at first, but it was clear she was doing her best to be a friend to her. It was sweet, but to not know why the redhead showed that much restraint with her was starting to feed her own anxiety.

April and May passed by oh so slowly, and each day Elsa had to refrain herself from slapping her husband who took every tiny occasion to discredit herself or even what she was doing with the kids. Her patience was running thin. She thought about bringing divorce to the table more than once.

Fortunately, June finally showed its face and brought lots of coloured flags at the bar. Anna, who seemed to finally have relaxed around her, looked like she had infinite pleasure in telling her what every flag meant or even just chatter about Pride in general. It was adorable.

“You know, this year we’re probably gonna do a lot of signs about freedom. Saw the #FreedomTo a lot on social media, I like that idea, coz you know, now we can marry and all. I mean, us as people in same sex relationships and all, haha. Not, uh, ugh, anyway.”

See? Adorable. Elsa was melting in front of such excitement. Well, the younger woman has always been a bit of a sunshine, but these days she was just dazzling.

“Do you want me to go with you? To Pride, I mean.”

Anna seemed startled by the offer, but quickly nodded enthusiastically. “Oh my god, yes please, that’d be awesome! You can come to my flat right before, if you want to change and all! Could even lend you some clothes”

Hesitation made its place in Elsa’s mind. Usually she would probably say no to that kind of offer, not wanting to abuse Anna’s kindness, but her friend looked so happy at the prospect that she could only smile and nod.

***

This was it. Saturday 28th June. Pride day. The nervousness was clearly present. It’s probably the most anxious Elsa had felt for a very, very long time. She didn’t really know why, she was just accompanying Anna to the parade, right? Nothing weird or stressful there. Just being the friend Anna deserved, that’s all.

She arrived at least twenty minutes too early in front of the redhead’s flat. Stupid nerves. Elsa stared at that door, nibbling her lower lip a little bit before she finally pressed the doorbell.

“Oh shit shit shit… Coming!”

A light chuckle left her. Just Anna things, to panic that way. Very much expected. What was not really expected though, was the door being opened to reveal an half-naked Anna, who clung desperately to a towel to keep a bit of decency. Her hair was wet and darkened, blobs of shampoo foam still attached to it. Water was dripping from her tattooed and freckled skin. An awkward smile was plastered on the redhead.

“Hi!”

Obviously, Elsa blushed furiously and only managed to stutter a brief ‘hello’ as an answer, stepping inside the more familiar flat and doing her best to not stare. Wow, what a very interesting wall. Yeah, definitely going to keep looking at that wall.

“Uhm, sorry, I was in the shower when you rang.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry, I’m the one who’s sorry. I came here earlier than expected.” So she was still capable of saying functional sentences? Impressive.

“No no, don’t worry about it. I, uh, I prepared some clothes that should fit you, there on my bed, if you want to change while I get done with my hair and get dressed.”

Elsa nodded and walked into the bedroom, trying her best to look determined. As soon as she closed the door, though, she felt her knees get a bit wobbly and her heart trying to pump blood in her body as quickly as possible. What is wrong with me? There was no magical answer to her troubles.

After a minute or two used to regain a normal pulse and breathing, Elsa finally looked at the clothes that her friend picked specifically for her. A few jeans in various shapes, some ripped, some with cute littles patches, tops that were short or not, and two flannel shirts on a hanger. She instantly recognised one of them as the red one Anna was wearing the first time she saw her at the bar. Without any form of hesitation, she picked it.

“Okay, next…”

For the jeans, she really liked the ones with colored patches on them. It just felt very appropriate for Pride. The choice as a top, however, revealed itself to be much more complicated. There was a small black one with a tiny rainbow right in the middle that she really liked, but that implied showing her stomach. Since her two pregnancies and the stretch marks that followed, especially after the twins, exposing her navel was kind of a delicate thing to ask her.

Oh, well, nothing prevents me from at least trying it, right?

She changed clothes, and observed the results in the mirror on the wall. It… It kinda suited her well. The white lines on her lower stomach were there, and she didn’t really know how she felt about it. Elsa hesitated a moment, and then started removing the flannel shirt when a knock interrupted her.

“Can I come in?”

“Oh, uh, sure!”

The door opened to reveal Anna’s face, who instantly smiled upon seeing her dressed like that.

“Oh god it suits you so fucking well! You look awesome, wait no. Actually, you look perfect that way.”

Suddenly the stretch marks completely left her mind as an incomprehensible blabber filled her thoughts. Her face was also probably very much crimson. Maybe she liked the compliment a little bit too much.

“Thank you, you look very lovely, too,” she mumbled.

Anna’s outfit was pretty similar to hers, except that her jeans were ripped and she wasn’t wearing any shirt over her crop top, exposing all of her tattoos. Her now dried hair looked so soft that Elsa’s first instinct was to refrain herself from touching it.

“Okay, I think we can go now. Just gotta bring my backpack for some water and a few snacks, and our signs, and we’re all good,” Anna said, looking around for said backpack.

In the meantime, Elsa went to get the two signs they made together on Tuesday morning. They were quite simple, just two white signs with a rainbow coloured #FreedomTo, but it didn’t mean that the blonde couldn’t feel insanely proud of them.

A few minutes later, they left, holding hands.

***

The place was absolutely crowded. They’ve been here for an hour now, laughing, chanting and singing together. Elsa had never felt more at peace than in this complete mess of sounds and people. She could feel emotion slowly build up in her chest every time she looked at the redhead next to her, who looked happier than ever, proudly holding her sign.

She could feel her heart pounding, and she knew it wasn’t just the excitement that Pride brought. Maybe she finally stopped being completely oblivious to whatever she felt for her friend. Maybe seeing all these women hugging and kissing each other had made her understand.

Part of her was hesitating. This, everything about this was completely different from her previous daily life. But if she was being honest with herself, it’s not like she had been completely happy with her life before meeting Anna, before connecting with a part of herself that she didn’t even know existed.

Did it mean that she was ready for it? It was such a big step, such a hard step to do. It was rejecting the foundations of her whole life, of what her parents teached her and what she got used to in the years she’d been married to George. It was crossing a point of no return.

But somehow, seeing Anna laugh and shout from pure joy made all of those worries disappear. There she was, her own light in the darkness. And so, she made a decision.

She was going to break free from those chains.

“Anna?”

The redhead turned her face toward her, lowering her sign. “Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Shock appeared on Anna’s face, and a blush quickly spread on her freckled cheeks. It took her a few seconds to answer, gulping with difficulty, until a soft smile formed on her lips.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Elsa chuckled, and one of her hands let go of her own sign to slide against her best friend’s cheek. When she tilted her head to finally get a taste of Anna’s lips, she could faintly hear some cheers around them, as a distinct memory of their first real conversation made its appearance in her thoughts.

Women can definitely love other women.

#elsanna #june 2022 contest #prompt: point of no return #submission #cw: homophobia

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