#i cannot stop thinking about anything related to this books

[jeanmoreaux]

people have pointed out the many different ways in which the snowbaird dynamics foils the everlark one but i think nothing captures the fundamental difference between them better than the fact that katniss and peeta kept choosing each other's survival DESPITE the threat of death whereas coriolanus and lucy gray chose their own survival BECAUSE of the threat of death

[egophiliac]

How do you imagine Levan/Revan/ Mallenoa's husband?

Appearance, personality etc.

Revaan/Laverne/whatever-his-name-is's title sort of implies that he might be from a fantasy-Eastern country (they've established that in Twstland, 竜 = Eastern-style dragons, andドラゴン = Western-style dragons). and that's about as much as we know right now about...anything in regards to what he might look like. so I've been trying very hard not to form too much of a mental picture of him, because I'm still hoping we'll get to see him (or at least a silhouette)! ergo, in my head, he kind of looks like this:

so handsome. surely Malenoa fell in love at first glance.

I do think the funniest thing about what we've learned so far is that Malleus being kind of quiet and reserved and dignified...absolutely did not come from the Draconias. and he sure as heck did not learn it from Lilia. so he probably got a lot of that from his dad! the vibe I get from how Lilia talks about him is that he could be a bit of a prim little fancyboy sometimes, but was (mostly) willing to go along with his wife's zany antics out of love. he sounds sweet, honestly! I'm sorry he (maybe) died. :(

my favorite thing about Mal's parents is that Malenoa and Lilia's dynamic was "long-suffering guard and princess who has long been the cause of said suffering":

but then they would happily join forces in order to gang up on Revaan:

tl;dr Revaan was the straightman in Malenoa and Lilia's comedy act until it all ended horribly whoops

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Sugar, Spice and a Tempting Vice

VA! MC x OM! Characters

"Hey Levi, any new game recommendations for me? I just finished the last lot of books Satan suggested." You asked, plopping down your head on his shoulder to look at his screen.

"M-MC! You have to warn me before you do such things!" He muttered, his ears turning red as he scrolled some webpages pages for you. "But okay yeah these are the new games that are out recently... see anything you like?"

"Oh my God! It's out it's out!" You pointed excitedly at the screen. "Pretty Little Things is out! Finally!! I was dying to tell you all about it!"

Levi visibly stiffened up. "You-you were waiting for this particular game to come out? Are you sure it's not another game with a similar sounding name?"

"Nah uh this is the exact same one. Look up the list of voice actors in this game!"

"WHAT?! MC WHY IS YOUR NAME IN HERE?????"

"Yes! This was the new part-time job I couldn't tell you about since it was still in production! Im so glad you can just play it now!"

"...it's uh ready for download on all platforms already...so which character did voice?"

"Oh spoiler alert, my character is the only one that doesn't have a name, you have assign me one, the same way you name yourself. They even designed the characters to resemble all the VA's and add in some of their personalities, isn't that sweet?"

"Hahaha y-yeah definitely sweet! I'll be sure to check it out soon!"

"Great! Lemme know what you think of the game okay?!" You squeezed him in a small hug before you left.

Later in the Demon Brothers only group chat:

Levi: Code Red! Code Red! ASHSKSHSKSKSJJSKKS

Mammon: WHAT WHAT THAT MEANS AN MC RELATED EMERGENCY RIGHT??

Asmo: OMG are they OKAY?? Should I go check up on them in their room!?!

Satan: I'm already on my way.

Mammon: NOT BEFORE ME YOU'RE NOT!

Belphie: Is MC hurt in anyway?

Beel: Did they pass out from hunger?! I can bring them emergency snacks right away

Lucifer: Can you lot not lose your minds everytime MC is mentioned? Pathetic. Levi, calm down and tell us what's wrong.

Beel: But Lucifer I just saw you hurrying up the stairs to MC's room too...

Satan: Typical Lucifer. By the way, MC is perfectly fine, happy even. Levi what are you on about?

Mammon: Yeah MC can't stop smiling! It's a good thing that happened, you idiot! Why would you scare us like that?

Asmo: Omg apparently MC voice acted in a new game! Levi I need you to download it for me ASAP please!

Beel: Me too, please.

Belphie: Me three.

Lucifer: I've already done it, you all can do it yourselves if you could do your own work for once.

Satan: Oh shut up, MC just did it for you right now as they did it for me.

Levi: It's a Dating Simulator. With multiple H-rated DLC endings. And MC is one of the dateables.

...

Levi: Hello?!! Did you guys not see my message?!

Levi: Seriously no reaction?! You guys aren't freaked out by this?!?

Beel: I just heard several doors opening and closing at once.

Asmo: Oh come Levi, I think you already know what our reaction is Levi ♥️ How can we possibly hold in our excitement after such a news!?

Levi: Are you all downloading the game together?!!! Y'all are hogging the bandwidth too much, my download speed has gone way down!!

Simeon: Hey

Simeon: I heard some demons in a cafe, raving about a game where MC plays one of the main characters?

Solomon: Indeed MC just sent us all a link right now.

Simeon: Oh is that so? I'll get Luke to help me download it after he's done with his.

Levi: Luke is playing it too?! I don't think it's appropriate given it's certain hidden endings!!

Barbatos: MC already made sure of it. He only has access to the sibling and friendship routes. It's a special version they added for all ages.

Diavolo: It already has downloads in the ten thousands. I'm really glad to see how MC is beloved by Devildom.

Levi: Are NONE of you affected by the fact that there are erotic routes with MC's VOICE?!!

Solomon: Oh I personally cannot wait hear my adorable apprentice's performance.

Barbatos: Ahem. I'd rather not comment on it.

Simeon: Same.

Diavolo: Same.

Levi: Sigh. We really are just a helpless lot at the mercy of MC.

To be continued...

[kazumist]

there are five times when scaramouche tried to say “i love you”, but failed.

the first time he tried to do so, you were dozing off on his shoulder during a train ride home. it was just a silent ride for the two of you, but the silence was comfortable as you slept peacefully.

it was strange. it was strange how scaramouche could just feel himself saying it right now. how he could feel that those three words could just roll out of his tongue so smoothly.

and so it did. he lets out a small "i love you".

but of course, since you were asleep, you didn’t really hear him properly. but you did wake up to the sound of his voice. “hmm?” you hummed, rubbing your eyes. scaramouche smiles and says, "nothing. i said we’re almost near our stop.”

in the right time, maybe.

the second time was when you two were at his place for a movie night. the television was pretty loud, but who said scaramouche was actually watching the movie that was playing? his eyes drifted toward you most of the time. he wasn’t watching the movie—he was watching you enjoy the movie.

as if it were the simplest thing to do, he found himself saying it again. “i love you” he says.

that was the second time, and he’s well aware that it was unheard. but he doesn’t mind, since deep inside, that’s enough for him.

in the right time, maybe.

the third time scaramouche tried to tell you that he loved you, his heart almost felt like it was about to jump out of his chest.

chilly air from the night flew past the both of you as you randomly walked together, despite it being late. you had your music playing and were casually singing along while he followed right after.

scaramouche had no idea why his hands felt all clammy or why he could feel himself blushing. you were just singing; it was no big deal—so why? why is he reacting like this?

the sudden burst of feelings is there. so while you were busy singing along, he couldn’t help but utter, “i love you”.

third and still unheard, but scaramouche could never feel any better than being with you right now.

in the right time, maybe.

scaramouche really wonders why feelings are so difficult to comprehend sometimes. he can understand others’ feelings, yes, but what about his? why can’t he understand his own feelings? it was rare for him to open up, and when he did, it was quite relieving.

but how can he exactly open up when his issues are related to the person he only opens up to?

scaramouche looks at your sleeping figure again; the book you were studying is long forgotten. 

he loves it. he loves how you look so beautiful when you sleep, yet you’re so unaware of it. he loves how you can just tell him literally anything because you feel comfortable in his presence.

scaramouche cannot understand the concept of feelings, especially when it comes to love, but he knows.

“i love you,” he says, pushing your hair aside to see you more properly.

fourth. still unheard, but his heart could not be any fuller.

in the right time, maybe.

it is still a wonder that scaramouche did not meet you any sooner. he can’t imagine his life without you in it. ever since you two met, you have played a crucial role in his life as a whole. he has so many things to say, yet he can’t find the right words to express himself.

scaramouche knows he loves you; that fact dawned on him back then. it was no surprise, really. some could tell what his heart contained by how he looked at you. 

he has no idea what made you so lovable to him. he just can’t help it—in his eyes, there’s no one else he could think of falling for except for you. just as you were being too busy rambling to scaramouche, once again he just couldn’t help but utter an “i love you”.

fifth. in the right time, maybe he can finally say those three words to you out loud.

[hazbin-but-good]

another hazbin hotel rewrite/redesign?

yup! and i'm so serious about it that i made a whole blog for it. i'm a white queer ex-cath tran doing this as an art and writing exercise, so feedback from other creatives + jewish and/or racialized folks is especially welcome.

i'm putting this post and only this post in the main tags for visibility. also, not gonna link my main, but i do make my own original stuff, and i encourage fans and haters alike to do the same.

anyway, here's a mostly good-faith 1.7k-word essay on the original. i think it's pretty funny and brings up some less talked-about points. correct me on the facts, disagree with my opinions, and ask clarifying questions, but don't come at me with any piss-poor reading comprehension.

the hellaverse is garbage, and here's why

cw: strong language, stronger opinions, intersectional feminist critical discourse analysis

1. vivienne medrano, the person

medrano was born as a well-off white-passing latina (salvadoran-american) in bougieass frederick, maryland. while attending new york's top art school, she got popular on deviantart-tumblr-twitter by being a prolific multifandom fujoshi furry who's more into ornamental character design than storytelling. upon graduation, she leveraged her fanbase and industry connections to make the hazbin and helluva boss pilots, get helluva made for youtube, and get hazbin made for amazon prime.

like every woman online, she gets harassed for no good reason, and as a certified autist, i will defend her right to be dumb, weird, annoying, and bad with words. however, there are legit reasons to criticize her:

racism, misogyny, homophobia, fatphobia, some antisemitism, past transphobia, past ableism

shitty boss, bad friend

cowardly, vindictive, manipulative, thoughtless behavior

skeevy friends

sucks at taking criticism

in short, i think she desperately needs a PR person and someone to clean up her digital footprint.

2. medrano's art

incurious

inauthentic

noncommittal

creatively stagnant

overindulgent, and the indulgence isn't even fun

shallow and childish framed as complex and mature

bland and boring framed as shocking and subversive

to be clear, i'm at peace with the existence of suckass art like this; i just think the money, attention, and praise it gets are unearned and should go to more interesting works, of which there are infinite.

medrano's had the time, money, and social cache to grow as an artist, learn from the best, and take creative risks, but she hasn't. if she truly has nothing more to offer, she should let her collaborators take the wheel, but she doesn't do that either. instead, she keeps getting more and more resources to make the same baby bullshit, and that pisses me off. she could be the nicest person ever, and this fundamental arrogance would still make her art blow.

stop with the pointless guilt: liking medrano's work does not make you stupid or evil. however, if you stay in the kiddie pool of culture, if you refuse to engage with a diversity of art, if the hellaverse is your point of reference for anything media-related, you can't expect to have your opinions on art, media, or culture taken seriously. you have not earned a seat at the table. you gotta hit the books first.

i cannot emphasize enough how much incredible stuff is out there if you're willing to look further than what social media and streaming services put right in front of you. if you come away from this blog having learned about just one new artist or piece of art, i'll be a happy camper.

3. the hellaverse

a. empty and confused

hazbin and helluva's content and marketing has no clear target audience. the subjects are inappropiate for teens, but the execution is too childish for adults, and lemme tell you what i don't mean by that, first.

not inherently inappropriate for teens:

sex and sexuality

violence, including when it intersects with the above

politics and religion

not inherently childish:

animation (any style)

comedy

episodic writing and/or loose continuity

young characters

fun, happiness, optimism, the power of friendship, cuteness, tenderness, sincerity, etc.

what i mean is that these shows are literally about adult characters who fuck, smoke, drink, do drugs, go clubbing, work full-time, manage their own finances, and deal with stuff like bureaucracy, sexual violence, domestic abuse, marriage, divorce, late adoption, and family estrangement.

however, none of these "adult" things are given enough specificity to create drama or comedy. it's all too stock, vague, flat, weirdly sanitized, and thus utterly banal—pure aesthetics on top of bad saturday morning cartoons. it's exactly what i'd expect from a sheltered disney kid who needs to log off and get into their local gay scene ASAP so their only contact with things like poverty, policing, addiction, and sex work stops being facile movies and TV.

if the shows were aware of this and played with it, that could be amazing, but they're not. they give you the mickey mouse version of the world with a straight face and then play looney tunes sound effects to try to make you laugh and sad_violin.mp3 to try to make you cry. now that's funny.

b. old and tired

let's make like americans and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist. even within the confines of the USA, home of the hays code, the red scare, and reaganite propaganda, this neopuritan fascist state ruled by 1000 megachurches in a trenchcoat, the indie/underground animation scene has been doing crazier shit for decades. anti-war films in the 60's, bakshi movies in the 70's, the simpsons shorts and r-rated movies in the 80's, adult swim and MTV in the 90's, flash/newgrounds/youtube in the 00's, streaming in the 2010's—so what are we doing in the 2020's with this wet white rice drowned in expired ketchup? i feel crazy making this point because it's obvious if you've watched these things, but if you haven't, you're gonna be like "well, there's gotta be something new here". no! there isn't! in the words of jimmy "the scot" jordan, nothing, nothing, NOTHING!

c. ideological purgatory

actually, there is one thing in these shows i've never seen before: the presbysterianism. shout out some interesting or at least intentional presbysterian art in the comments, because the way these ideas are presented here is not compelling. it just makes the rainbow neoliberalism even more confusing and contradictory.

i guess the big presbysterian things are protestanism, calvinism, and, uh, big church government? presbysterians, get your shit together. get your brand down. catholics have BDSM and vampires, evangelicals have TV and corporatism; what do you have? celtic crosses? no wonder medrano has such uninspired ideas on divinity.

d. queer deficiency

when i look at a piece of art, i ask myself: "what does this give me that i can't get from the hunchback of notre dame (1996)?" if the answer is as limp as "uhh, gay people, i guess", i can probably look for my gay shit elsewhere and rewatch the hunchback of notre dame (1996) in the meantime.

but let's say that you have no standards. you've been waiting for ages for a show about gays by the gays for the gays, and by god you're gonna get it. this is it! here we go! time for some

generic twink obliteration

male sexuality as aggression and dominance displays

WLW (sex and chemistry not included)

a couple straight femdoms

and the stalest sex jokes known to man

...yeah, it's not very queer. and by "queer", i mean "questioning or subverting gender norms (including sexual roles) within a given cultural context regardless of creator identity and intent". i'm not a queer studies scholar so LMK if there's a more specific term for this, but whatever you call it, it's not in the hellaverse much.

there's not even any transness, literal or metaphorical, just ancient drag jokes. i guess the writers thought we would've been too controversial. so much for an indie animation studio that prides itself in the diversity of its staff both above and below the line, bakshi-style. i wonder how medrano, a bisexual woman, would've felt if told that a lesbian main couple in hazbin would be "too controversial".

4. spindlehorse and the vivziepop brand

spindlehorse toons underpays its overworked staff and keeps outsourcing more and more labor to even more overworked freelancers overseas to cut costs. a rainbow sweatshop is still a sweatshop, and just because these practices may be "industry standard" doesn't make them any more ethical.

the studio has also been repeatedly accused by current and former employees and contractors of creating a hostile and abusive workplace. AFAIK, it still has no dedicated HR person, and victims are too afraid of retaliation like blacklisting and online harassment to speak out.

this is exactly the stuff that unions exist to prevent. as i'm writing this, the IATSE (the parent union of TAG, which is the parent union of all US animation unions) is negotiating with entertainment industry executives for better working conditions, and if the execs fuck around like last year, it's strike time again. so watch this space, voice your support, and don't cross any picket lines.

i hope spindlehorse unionizes, but until then and for these reasons, i don't think you should give money to the company.

first of all, all content on amazon-owned platforms is ok to pirate, and all youtube ads are ok to block. everyone involved in making the episodes has (or should have) been paid upfront, so you're not taking the bread out of anyone's mouth.

next, let's look at the succulent offerings of the official vivziepop merch shop:

$10 pins and keychains

$15 sticker packs

$20 mugs and acrylic cutouts

$25 shirts

$30 metal cards (not even tarot)

$40 lounge pants

$50 mini backpacks

random $80 skateboard deck

forgive my latin americanness, but this is all stuff you can get made by a local metalsmith, print/sublimation shop, or just crafty people in your life. it's cheaper, customizable, and better for the environment to skip all the shipping and packaging. also, not painting your own skateboard is poser shit.

the hazbin website also has $15 pins, one $20 keychain, and $6 trading card packs. people are weird about trading cards, so if for some reason you wanna gamble for a mass-produced bit of cardboard, plastic, and tinfoil, at least bulk-order for all the vivziepoppers in your area so it's less of a huge waste. better yet, trace the designs and make infinite bootlegs.

at the end of the day, buying merch is not activism. your bulk order of trading cards will not save any wage slaves from getting evicted from their overpriced studio apartments. however, the shop links you to all the credited artists/designers, and more of your bucks will actually reach them if you buy their designs directly, then turn them into body pillows or life-sized bronze statues or whatever the fuck.

go through the credits of any episode of helluva or hazbin, and you'll find even more creatives you might wanna support. get jinkx monsoon's albums on CD. subscribe to actually good artist, animator, and composer gooseworx. lots of voice actors now have patreon, cameo, or self-hosted pages where you can write better lines for their characters and have them read it. these things may not look as shiny as Official Merch™, but we all need less plastic shit and more culture anyway.

[kazbrekkerscrutches]

Xavier Thorpe - Take my hands

Warnings: Mention of burial, dark humor(like at one place), overall fluff, scratches

Words: 1.8k

GN PRONOUNS

Trope/Context: Reader is antisocial, not related to Wednesday Addams, but is the MC (storyline modified), Childhood friends to lovers <3, slowburn (A/N: One of my favorite tropes lmao, enjoy!)

Black settled into my room. Not the usual morning sunshine.

Rain and clouds.

Ever since I got to this school, nature has been turning darker and darker everyday. My own room, shared with dear Enid feels even more hollow than usual.

“You have to wake up, Y/N!”

“Yes Enid, you could wake up the dead with that perfume you spray on everyday.” I replied snarky.

“Rude.” I watched her get out of the room after I took off the covers from me.

I liked her, maybe it was a secret to anyone in my life, but I do like her. She is nice. Probably the nicest person you could ever meet that doesn’t kill people for fun.

My visions have been more intense recently. Anything I touch makes me afraid that I will discover something about it. It is scary; that pleasant feeling of being touched by a live wire, but not every minute of everyday.

For some obscure reason, I could not get a certain person out of my head.

Not Enid, you may ask, but a certain seer.

Xavier.

It is not for the usual teenage gossip type of thinking. He is my prime suspect as of whom the beast may be. The Hyde. The hidden Jekyll.

Everything about his behaviour, timing, thinking seems to fit so perfectly. Too perfectly.

“Thing. Please write something to you know who. Don’t make it cheesy. Make it brief.”

I turned my head to look at Thing only to ear a thumbs up from him. Well, that may be good enough to talk to a hand.

As I walked to go to class, that darkness felt even more closer. Like it was following me from behind my back. It felt like a tick was tickling my brain, to try and tell me something.

I arrived in class, only to find Xavier sketching something in his book. I approached silently only to find him adding shading to a cello.

My cello.

My instrument.

My brain cannot deal with this right now.

“Hi Y/N, always a pleasure seeing you around.” Xavier turned around, offering me a warm smile. That turned something in a stomach. Good? Bad? Weird?

I’ll take weird.

“Felt inspired by my serenade?” I offered him my signature glare, looking over his shoulder to see his drawing.

“Truly inspiring.” He turned back to his drawing, leaving me behind him.

Those scratches on his neck, so curious. No wonder he is my primary subject.

“Stop glaring and sit down. I don’t bite.” He whispered. I snapped out of my mind, sat down besides him.

“I do like biting.” He looked up from his drawing, my Y/E/C eyes. His beautiful green eyes. He smirked a little bit before Ms. Thornhill started her class.

I don’t know what I was supposed to feel. How I was supposed to feel. Yes, he is my prime suspect but he saved me from Rowan. He was always somewhere, lurking in the shadows. My shadow not longer felt like one.

[Flashback]

“Help! Please someone help!” I heard screams coming from the casket. Hell, did that boy’s godmother come back from hell?

That thing did not sound like a women. More like a boy. I moved around the purgatory only to find a big red button with STOP on it.

“Ridiculous.”  I pressed on it; the coffin stopped its way into the pit of fire. I opened the coffin only to find the boy. We were supposed to play hide and seek.  

“What are you doing in here? This isn’t a place to hide” Xavier looked up at me with weary eyes.

“I thought it was original. Thank you though.” He got out of the coffin, still towering me with his height.

“You lost.” A smirk appeared on my face and we both walked away to back out there.   

[Present, time skip]

I was wondering where Xavier had run to. He always abandons me for some random artistic calling of his. Thing appeared before me, updating me with some desperate news.

He handed me the note I had mention to give to Xavier.

Awn, Y/N Y/L/N has feelings for me.

Cute, though I know Thing wrote that.

Meet me in the cabin. 9 p.m.

Xavier

Weirdly, I felt my heart beat way faster than it normally should. I feel ill, not in a pleasant way, terrible ill way.

“I will end you, Thing.” He apologized immensely before pointing to something around the place.

He pointed the note, which looked like it was covered in some kind of dust. I did not look like dry paint or led dust. Ashes. How thoughtful.

He must know that I am suspicious of him; that I think he is the Hyde.

The darkness settled again, as if it was telling me that I was wrong; that my track was far from where I was headed. I pushed it away, snapped a glace at my clock only to find the time running fast. 8:51 p.m.

I have to go. Hopefully I make it out alive, and sane.

[Xavier’s art studio]

I knocked two times.

I’m hilarious, I’m aware.

“My favorite dead body has arrived!” He almost screamed as he opened the door.

He was wearing a red shirt, hair still damp and sweatpants low on his hips. As much as I hated to admit it, he had some sort of effect on me. I suddenly felt hot, uncomfortable in my own skin. I almost felt a smile creep up on my face.

“Tad bit dramatic.” I snarked, passing through him and the door. “I hope those weren’t you godmother’s ashes you sent.” His clean and fresh scent filled my head. Comforting.

He turned to me, closing the door behind him. He leaned on the door frame, crossed his thin long arms around his chest.

“Maybe, maybe not.” He looked at me dead in the eye. “What did you want to talk about?” The paintings surrounding me were dark and were all filled with the Hyde’s face. I had never actually been in here before but he caught me trying to get in.

“What is it of the Hyde that captivates you so, Xavier?” I turned around every wall to have a better look at his artistry.  

“I keep having dreams about it. The only way I can get it out is by drawing it, even if it ends up with me getting scratched by my own drawing.” I snapped around to look at him rubbing his neck. There were three long scratches along it. I had noticed.

“Do they hurt?” Is a question I never thought I would’ve asked in my entire life. He tilted his head, approached me softly. He towered me even more than I would’ve thought.

He bent down to whisper in my ear. “Why aren’t you asking if I did this to myself?” He bent a little; looking at me dead in the eye.

“You have no reason to do this to yourself. I know you.” His gaze softened.

“You don’t think I’m the Hyde, then?” Shoot. He figured it out.

He stayed right where he was and I did not give him the satisfaction of fear or yet defeat in my eyes.

“Prove me you're not the Hyde, Xavier. Tell me I’m wrong.” I almost pleated, blinking endlessly.

“How can I prove this to you, Y/N? You are stubborn yet so deep into your theories.”

“Where were you when Eugene was attacked? If you tell me, you were here, and not wondering in the middle of the forest, I will believe you and drop this.” I sighted. “Please, tell me you weren’t out there.”

He stared almost blankly into my eyes. He stood up straight, passed his hands into his long hair and turned back to face me. “Take my hands, seek your answers.”

I could tell he was disappointed that I had asked him that. I dropped my bag on the floor, approaching him as slowly as he was.

His touch felt comforting and warm against my feverish skin. My head pulled back as I felt myself going under.

…

I woke up only to find Xavier hold me in his lap, passing his fingers in my hair softly, still holding one of my hands with his.

“Did you get your answers?” I nodded, proving to myself that he was not the Hyde.

“I’m… I’m sorry I doubted you. I shouldn’t have. You were the only person loyal to me, maybe except Thing.” I sat up from his lap, looking at him, both of us sitting on the floor of his Art space.

“Don’t be. We aren’t ten anymore. You know I’m innocent and I would’ve never, on my godmother’s grave have hurt all of those people and I think you may know that better than anyone.” Thunder roared behind us, I still felt his hand on mine but I did not pull away.

His Adam’s apple bobbed down a couple of times, as he looked at me deeply in the eyes.

“What did Thing tell you, in the note?” I nervously swallowed, his presence making me feel like a hormonal teenager.

“He told me that you, missy, have the biggest crush on me but is way too shy and antisocial to tell me. Is that true?” He tilted his head a little, making his hair brush his cheek.

I felt my own heart rush out of my chest. Thing was not lying.

“Thing isn’t lying.” I whispered lowly, tilting my head down. He reached his hand to tilt it back towards him.

As we were still close, he bent down to reach my ear, breathed in, and out making shivers run down my back.

“I hope you liked my godmother’s ashes or shall I say charcoal powder in the reply note.” He paused. I smirked slightly against his fiery skin.

“I like you too, Y/N.” He didn’t pull away but tilted my head once again towards him; making me look at his lips, green eyes, soft yet strong features.

I breathed shakily and leaned towards him. I felt his lips brush my own before he softly placed his lips upon mine. Electricity ran through me, with the satisfying after burn which was my heart heating up.

The darkness I had felt slowly pulled away, leaving my soul, and leaving at a certain state of peace.

His hand was soft against the skin of my cheeks, his lips soft yet delicate and passionate felt incredible on mine. He pulled away only to do it again, and again, and again.

I pulled away after a few second, feeling my heart flying like a hummingbird. “Not so bad?”

“Not bad at all, incredible if I must.” His gaze lightened, as he pulled me to kiss him again.

Two teenagers kissing on the floor of an art studio, two childhood best friends turned into…

Lovers.  

[bhaalbaaby]

How do you think the companions would react to Tav being a virgin with intimacy issues?

oooh. i have thought about this before with one of my tavs, but never fully fleshed it out, so here are some headcanons for you ♥

gale would be understanding and wouldn't force tav to do anything they're uncomfortable with. he wouldn't want to push any boundaries. if anything, he'd take it as an opportunity to woo tav with small romantic gestures like holding hands and sitting near each other at camp. he also may make a wizard joke about virginity and something about his first time to try to help ease their discomfort. he would also find books with similar premises and read them to tav. he would be very gentle with them if they decided to sleep with him for the first time, making sure they're comfortable and again not wanting to push them out of their comfort zone.

wyll also would be understanding. he is willing to wait until the end of time so long as tav is comfortable. he would be a gentleman towards tav, giving them gifts and trinkets that reminded him of them. he'd like to take them on strolls around the camp and anywhere calm area they find while adventuring, maybe even picnicking and reading sonnets he wrote about them. while i don't think wyll has intimacy issues of his own, i do think after talking to tav, they would come to an understanding that they would wait until a very special moment happens when everything feels right. he would have to tamper down his excitement to make sure he doesn't cross any lines, but it would be an enjoyable time for better times to come.

lae'zel wouldn't understand it at first since it's just physical actions. she wouldn't coerce tav, seeing it as failed lay. however if she sees them still attempting to woo her, she'd allow it since she sees them trying to chase her. this would be a lot of communication between lae'zel and tav as lae'zel has her own intimacy issues since she saw it as a priority. she'd try her best to understand her partner after a bit of convincing since she will be pent up on her own. if tav decides to sleep with lae'zel for the first time, it would require even more communication and groundwork/rules so it would be comfortable for tav and lae'zel would learn that even softness can be erotic and enjoyable.

shadowheart would use this information as blackmail should it come to that with an 'understanding' ear, relating because she cannot remember her first time. she'd mostly see them as a friend she shared a potential wine-drunk kiss with. she would try to build up their intimacy by asking them to meditate with her and try to get them to talk about why they think they may have intimacy issues/wait to have sex, but this time just as knowledge instead of blackmail. she wouldn't want to make them do anything either since she is focused on her mission. after her mission depending on the choices, dark justiciar shadowheart would want to 'cure' tav of their 'ailment' to help them process and move forward, not so they can sleep together, but truly out of the goodness of her heart. selunite shadowheart would be ready to sleep with tav whenever as part of her new path of accepting her fears and would hope they would be comfortable enough with her to do the same.

karlach would want to help tav the best she could, knowing how it is wanting to do something like that, but not be able to. they would find non-touching ways to show intimacy (mostly out of necessity) but it would help build their bond and ease any insecurities tav may be harboring since physicalities are out of the way for now. once they can touch, karlach has to keep herself together like wyll since as excited as she is, she doesn't want to alienate her partner by wanting to have sex right away and she also doesn't want to disappoint them by being their first when she's 'out of practice.' when they do have sex, it's very passionate as karlach lets tav take the lead on what they do and how they do it, stopping if things get overwhelming.

astarion wouldn't know what to do with tav at first since his plan would fall apart immediately. he wouldn't want to force himself on them since he isn't compelled to and wouldn't want to put his safety at risk by doing that either. so he plays the long game, seeing what tav likes and dislikes. he will butter them up with compliments and pick up lines that work in the past while allowing them into his space without expecting anything in return. since he feeds on them, it's easier if they share bedrolls which is a lot for the both of them. tav at first prefers to have their rolls next to each other so there's a closeness, but still a barrier and so astarion doesn't disturb their rest since he doesn't sleep/meditate for too long. but slowly they get down to one bedroll and sharing body space becomes more common even if sex is not happening. by the time this happens however, astarion makes the decision that he himself is not ready for that type of relationship with tav, not wanting to feel the ick that he has when it comes to sex. if astarion stays a spawn, he will still take his time when it comes to tav and moving forward with sex. he is fine with small things like kisses and will start small with foreplay until they are both comfortable with going all the way. ascended astarion would not have the time and energy for tav. he would hold it over their head that since they are bound to him, so is their body. i don't think he would compel them to sleep with him, but he definitely would bring it up more often than tav would be comfortable with.

halsin would be understanding with tav, praising them for at least being upfront and honest about their situation. he knows it's not easy to have intimacy issues as he has his own. If he senses tav is interested in him, he would be respectful of their boundaries, widdle trinkets while they have time near each other. he would also try to find something in nature similar to tav in hopes of them understanding they are not alone. if they choose him, he would try his best to contain himself as he knows the bear form would be absolutely too much for tav even if they think it wouldn't.

minthara wouldn't understand unless it was a reason caused by someone else because she would vow to end the person who caused harm to tav and caused their issues. if it doesn't stem from that, it would take her mind a little bit to understand why tav has waited and their issues. she would wait until they're ready and hope it wouldn't affect how tav is out on the battlefield. as the two get closer, she would be more willing to spend time with them by showing her culture if they aren't drow or duegar, and just spend time with them the best they could. if they choose her for their first time, it would be an intense, but enjoyable time. i don't know how she would react to a drow male having these issues however. i think she would have to do a lot of self-reevaluating and reprogramming her mind from lolth to be able to accept them and move forward.

[thatneoncrisis]

any other info to give about that harrow, nova and nona as triplets AU thingie you drew a lil while back? i am very interested i must know more

BARK I LOVE YOU SO BAD

its an INCREDIBLY self indulgent sand box thing with a fluctuating canon to fit whatever dumbass ideas sam and i have. its like the kind of thing we could never actually write or it would kill us instantly as it goes against literally everything i like about harrow in the books. but its fun to wax about sometimes i just want to do addams family shit. what if they were all creepy and did whatever they wanted and had a big mansion to fuck about in. it loke Pains me to think about how indulgent it is but whaddever

just random bullet points:

- harrows the oldest then nova then nona

- Anastasia and samael are their biological parents but alecto carried the kids because samael has fertility issues. also anasam t4t realness

- nova is also trans. you can pick which direction it literally doesnt matter sometimes there are just different stories to tell in different ways

- nonas birth name is nastja nonas just a nickname

- all three were homeschooled. nona has an intellectual disability and nova is aggressively dyslexic

- nova does fencing shes perfectly adequate at it

- the girls* Like each other and this is expressed through mostly ignoring each other. nona used to sleep in the others bed but that stopped when they were around 14. they cannot begin to understand each others hobbies but they enjoy doing them in the same room separately without talking

- on a related note harrow with siblings and slightly less intense parents is obviously a very different person with different goals but overall shes still an isolated bitch.

- gideons in this au and so is necro!gideon we just call that one agnus for simplicity. agnus was adopted by a couple of jesus freaks gideon lives with john

- when the girls* have a birthday they segment it into morning noon and night, one for each. usually they just silently give harrow and nova a present and dont say anything more but nona actually has people over or wants to go out

- nona has a dog its name is It. nobody knows where she got it

- they live next to a lake nona goes down there a lot to swim and throw rocks

- ana and sam are married. they refuse to specify exactly what alectos doing there but you can just kind of guess

[foreos]

the bad kids rated by how much they would like sonic the hedgehog

a sequel to my hatchetfield version

- riz gukgak: 1/10 i don’t think riz even touches video games. i can’t imagine riz having any strong media interests because his life is so busy all the time so i doubt he would think about sonic the hedgehog at all. if he ever played a sonic game though i think he’d be like unnaturally good at it because he’s got great reaction times and it’s not hard for him to intuit what the best routes are. he’d probably only play in like a social situation though.

- kristen applebees: 10/10 kristen grew up playing sonic games with her brothers and she likes them. sonic is very very good for adhd brains and i think she likes running around really really fast. fucking AWFUL at the games though she has a dexterity score of four. she has never passed a quicktime prompt in her life but that does not stop her from booting up the games and playing the first three or so levels. doesn’t really engage with the media past the games but that’s just because if she had a comic book she’d lose it and while she watched some of the cartoons as a kid, it’s been a long time. probably hasn’t played in years.

- adaine abernant: 10/10 she did not know what sonic was until freshman year and at first she did not see the appeal. she’s never been allowed plain and stupid fun in her entire life and when confronted with it she’s just like…why? but i think as time passes i could actually see adaine really fucking enjoying it if she decided to suspend her disbelief and embrace it. i think in another timeline adaine is much geekier but much like the other bad kids she currently does not have time for that. there’s an alternate universe where adaine is a comic book nerd with sonic opinions but i don’t think any of us are ready for that. there’s probably other franchises she would possibly like better but i think she could get really into it.

- gorgug thistlespring: 0/10 video games frustrate him. his fingers are too big for the buttons and sonic moves way too fast. like kristen he cannot get past the first few levels and so he and sonic don’t really see eye to eye. he wouldn’t say he hates the guy or has anything against the franchise but he would probably rather do, like, anything else.

- fig faeth: 10000/10 i think fig would like it. while it does not match her aesthetic i think she definitely grew up with sonic games as a kid and is pretty good at them. definitely had to beat video game levels for gilear growing up. as i said earlier with kristen, sonic is very good for adhd brain and i think she likes to build as much speed as she can, plus sonic music is fucking dope and i think fig is a fan of stupid fun. sometimes fig finds herself wishing that he would go even faster, though.

- fabian seacaster: -100000/10 he’s scared of rodents and obsessed with being cool fabian does not like sonic. yes, i know sonic is not a rodent but like. fabian does not care that is a walking talking blue rat with one weird eyeball that has two pupils and he is wearing NO clothes. plus, sonic is considered deeply lame by the general public, especially high schoolers, so fabian would not be caught dead in even the same room where sonic-related activities are occurring. fabian goes out of his way to avoid any and all sonic media, which is a shame because when fabian was a kid bill seacaster impulsively bought Every Video Game so there’s probably a completed sonic collection somewhere in fabian’s house. like i think fabian owns sonic chronicles and tails’s sky patrol and sonic labyrinth and he has no idea. in another life fabian is a shadow fan.

BONUS:

- ragh barkrock: 1/10, like gorgug and riz he’s just not really a video game guy.

- ayda aguefort: 1000000000/10 she would fucking love it. she would love it so so so much. much like adaine i think ayda would be extremely geeky in another, less stressful life and i think if fig introduced her to it she would be all fucking in. comics tv shows video games, all of it. i think ayda would eat that shit up.

- cassandra: 10/10 blaze reminds her of kalina and she thinks it’s fun and i am desperate for cassandra to have fun.

- aelwyn: 0/10 absolutely not. she agrees with fabian that sonic is creepy and should wear clothes. she tries not to think about it, ever.

[wordy-little-witch]

Also, anon from before but relating to a non agere thing this time… but a while ago you did a supportive Papa Roger with transfem Buggy an you mentioned him wearing a gaudy dress to prove a point and I can’t stop cackling and thinking about this scenario:

You’re an average upcoming pirate on a ship. You’re not a big deal, your bounty’s not particularly high, you fly under everyone’s Radar. Suddenly your buddy in the crows nest is screaming frantically down at you. They spotted a ship! And it’s the fucking Oro Jackson. Your captain grabs his binoculars to confirm that they are telling the truth… and suddenly is stunned into dumbfounded silence. You grab the binoculars out of his hands to have a look as well and the reason for his confusion soon becomes evident.

There, one foot propped up on a barrel. Stands Gol D. Roger himself. He’s wearing the ugliest dress you have ever seen in your life, a hell spawn somewhere between a twelve year olds Sunday best and your grandmas bathroom rug that smelled like mothballs. He’s beaming with confidence, smiling and having his eyes set on your ship, while this sin against fashion is flapping majestically in the wind. Something else is also flapping a little in the wind. Apperantly the most feared pirate of the seas has decided to go commando today.

About half an hour later your entire ship is destroyed. Miraculously there are no men lost, but you feel like that was more to make a point and to make sure you carry the very important message to the next shore when you get there:

You do NOT make fun of Gol D. Rogers daughter.

This. This right here is the EXACT vibe I was going for. Someone look me in the eye and say Roger WOULDN'T pull smth like this. You can't. It's definitely canon compliant.

Bonus points, while Roger WOULD do this in response to a literal slight against his baby girl, he would also try smth like this to a perceived slight.

Buggy isn't even all that bothered by some guy saying she doesn't have the figure for that skirt or some shit, but Shanks is FROTHING. how dare this ingrate approach his Buggy, his Blue, his best friend with anything other than absolute WORSHIP in their souls-?!

Buggy shrugs it off, grabs her book from the stall and drags Shanks with as they continue shopping at the market. Honestly, she forgets about it. She's heard far worse.

Shanks though? He's telling captain. He's telling Roger, and Rayleigh, and everyone who will listen to his livid retelling bc this guy quite literally called Buggy's ability as a PIRATE into question because of her clothes, because of her build. He's so angry.

Roger is equally angry.

Roger might be angrier, actually.

Rayleigh and Buggy are both pointedly Not On Deck during the following events because they cannot, Do Not See. Out of sight. Out of mind.

They're both praying to get the mental image of Roger in that dress out of their brains without resorting to bleach or an ice pick.

[yuri-is-online]

You Simple Vile Monstrosity: Rook and the Flowers of Evil

My other two dumb history posts have at least a semblance of fun fact to them, but this is mostly going to be literary analysis and some theory. There's some interesting stuff here sure, but I don't really think it adds much to the overall landscape of twst theories. But it does make Rook make more sense to me so I am making this post anyway.

So without further ado, if you are like me and enjoy reading twst theories, you might know that the beginning lines of Twisted Wonderland are something we have been debating the meaning of since the game came out really. While I think we have been closing in on their true meaning as Chapter 7 progresses along, the phrase "Flowers of Evil" can actually refer to something specific: a french poetry collection of the same name (Les Fleurs du mal in french) by a poet name Charles Baudelaire originally published in 1857. The collection was extremely controversial, but today it is highly lauded and has inspired several other literary works, including a manga series by Shūzō Oshimi of the same name. I found out about the poetry collection while working on this request and finally finished reading it... and another essay by Baudelaire for reasons we can talk about later on in the post. For now let's talk poetry.

Beauté! 100 Points!

I don't speak french, so I read an English translation done by Aaron Poochigian that does contain the original french text in the back half of the book. The Flowers of Evil is split into seven-ish parts: The Flowers of Evil (just containing "To the Reader"), Spleen and the Ideal, Parisian Scenes, Wine, Flowers of Evil (again but with 12 poems this time), Revolt, and then Death. The sections are more or less organized by the subject of the poems, Spleen and the Ideal is the largest with Baudelaire musing over what the ideal concept of beauty is while Wine deals with getting drunk (on wine mostly if you can believe it.) One of the things that jumps out very quickly about Baudelaire's work is that his concept of beauty is almost synonymous with his concept of evil. He writes a lot about maggots eating corpses, about decay, he has a few poems that talk about vampires appearing to be the highest form of beauty but really being husks of rotted flesh; it's all very much about this acceptance that evil is a part of life and human nature, so therefore there must be beauty in it. The concept of "ideal beauty" must by it's nature be divorced from the concept of "morality." When Rook talks about the potential for Leona or Malleus to kill him and how beautiful that would be, I think he means the act of destruction itself would be beautiful. The circumstances surrounding it and the consequences of it are irrelevant to the concept; this is also why while he initially says he cannot find the crimson lotuses in GloMas beautiful Deuce accuses him of doing just that after everything is said and done. He cannot find beauty in Rollo's actions, but the visual and the fight are beautiful because of the effort he and the other students put in to stop them. And perhaps most importantly, it's why he is willing to drink Vil's poison and look upon what is supposedly ultimate ugliness and say "In this moment you are the fairest of them all." Because how could an act born out of such raw and genuine emotion be anything but?

Le Chasseur D'Armour, The Hunter of Love

Baudelaire wasn't just a poet, he fancied himself a critic and wrote multiple essays, the one I read for this post is The Painter of Modern Life. Which is actually a collection of several but they are all related, and I was directed to them by this wordpress post. In it, Baudelaire muses over how things can be both beautiful and ugly, and why:

"Beauty is made up of an eternal, invariable element, whose quantity it is excessively difficult to determine, and of a relative, circumstantial element... which severally or all at once, the age, its fashions, its morals, its emotions."

He was talking about fashion plates that depicted outdated costumes, but his point was more or less that if you strictly look at the design of the costume they look ridiculous: ugly. But when you take into account their historical value (these particular plates were all from the around the time of the French revolution) they become exceedingly important: beautiful. He also mentions in this same essay the importance of not just taking into account the opinions of so called "masters" and sneers at people who think they understand what is beautiful just because they have seen a painting done by a professional:

"... to declare that Raphael, or Racine, does not contain the whole secret, and that minor poets too have something good, solid and delightful to offer... that we might love general beauty, as it is expressed by classical poets and artists, we are no less wrong to neglect particular beauty, the beauty of circumstance and the sketch of manners."

In chapter 5, while helping Vil judge the auditions for VDC, Rook gives every audition 100 points because, well, in his mind they are all an example of perfect beauty specifically because they are the work of amateurs, and that is no less valuable to him or less worthy of praise that the work of the master. Now granted he clearly does value professional quality (he did have reasons for voting for Neige other than being a massive simp. Valid ones even if loosing does sting) but that's only in the context of strict rules and guidelines. When Rook is asked for his opinion, while he certainly does believe there is an absolute, academic definition beauty, he doesn't place any value on where that beauty comes from. Baudelaire muses over how human life "accidentally" puts mysterious beauty into the world, and the true appreciator of beauty must make himself not strictly a poet but:

"...an observer of life, and only later set himself the task of acquiring the means of expressing it... For most of us... the fantastic reality of life has become singularly diluted. [But he] never ceases to drink it in; his eyes and memories are full of it."

I strongly dislike suggesting in these posts that xyz is "the definitive reason" for why a character acts the way that he does, but I do think it is very interesting how well this describes Rook's ethos. He thinks of himself as a hunter, but in order to do that he needs to observe. Sure he takes it to exceptionally extreme lengths, but it makes him one of the most lively members of the NRC cast. Baudelaire is right, there are a million things about life we miss on a day to day basis wherein true beauty lies, but Rook sees all of it. His eyes, memories, camera, and secret photo albums are fit to burst with it.

My Noble and Beautiful Flower of Evil

I mentioned the opening text at the beginning of this post, and I stand by my interpretation that the phrase "flower of evil" it uses likely is not a specific reference to any of the poems themselves... beyond the obvious note that it is a collection of poems about finding beauty in, well, evil and most of the characters are based off of villains.

But there was something that started gnawing at me when I read the introduction to my translation, which was written by a poet named Dana Gioia. It was a very well written summary of Baudelaire's life and the significance of his work, but it mentioned a connection that I have seen brought up in twst theorizing before: Edgar Allen Poe.

You see, Baudelaire was obsessed with Poe. To the point that (according to the introduction) "He considered Poe a sacred martyr for art and referred to him as 'Saint Edgar.' In his morning devotions, Baudelaire prayed first to God and then to Poe."

I have nothing to say on that (because really what could you) but the point that Gioia wanted to make in that introduction was that Poe had a massive influence on Baudelaire's writing style. He wrote multiple essays on his work and translated them into French because he felt like Poe deserved the recognition, so while Gioia used this to argue that Poe's influence on Baudelaire shouldn't be underestimated...

I can't find the post, but someone was talking about how Malleus's mother's name Meleanor is very similar to "Lenore" and I recall people sort of brushing that connection off. I don't that name is a coincidence. I think the poem "Lenore" might very well have been something thought about when constructing her character, and that the themes in Poe's work might be very relevant to the overall story of Twisted Wonderland.

Something about ravens and telltale hearts just feels like they fit; maybe we have got it all wrong and Yuu's visions aren't coming from the mirror in Ramshackle, but the floorboards.

Semi- Unrelated Fun Facts:

If you read the name Baudelaire and thought to yourself it sounded familiar, you might have be thinking of the Baudelaire children from A Series of Unfortunate Events. This isn't exactly a coincidence as the author of the series admits to his writing being heavily influenced by Charles Baudelaire to the point he actually wrote the afterword to the translation I own.

Dana Gioia is the former Poet Laureate of the state of California, something that deeply confused me. Apparently the Governor of California appoints someone to a 2 year term and they travel around the state to promote poetry and literacy which is apparently something that 46/50 U.S. states and D.C. does to????

My glorious motherland of Pennsylvania is not one of these states, apparently we only ever appointed one, then eliminated the position entirely after he retired, and then started just. Handing out ones to people in individual cities and counties. Which is so par for the course here I don't know why I am surprised.

One of the first things any college level literature course will try to drill into you is that you don't examine the life of an author when examining their work. It might sound silly, but I think Baudelaire is a great example of why that's important. The man was addicted to drugs and sex, refused to get a "real job", lived off his inheritance from his wealthy father and eventually whatever money he could convince his mother to send him his entire adult life, and had her use her political connections to bail him out of legal trouble multiple times.

If I thought too hard about that it would make his lines in "Skeleton Laborers" (Nothingness is treacherous.//Even Death is a deceiver.//Alas, forever and ever,//work may be awaiting us) fall terribly flat, which I think does them a disservice. The man was very talented and I am glad he wrote them because I felt very seen when I read them.

Baudelaire opened his publication with a note to the reader, but he made it a full poem entitled "To the Reader." I liked the ending stanza so much I used a version of it to title my blog, and eventually my current masterlist: (Boredom! Moist-eyed, he dreams, while pulling on//a hookah pipe, of guillotine-cleft necks.//You, reader, know this tender freak of freaks-//hypocrite reader-mirror-man-mytwin!)

Likewise the title of this post is also taken from part of a poem, "Hymn to Beauty" (Beauty, you simple, vile monstrosity,//I cannot care about your origin,//provided that your gaze, smile, feet show me//a sweet infinity I have never known.) I think that fits Rook's ideals rather well, don't you?

[hongluboobs]

what's the debt of tears and what's this about cutting bao-yu open ?? also how does this relate to hong lu? i don't have the context to ask anything more specific but i need to know this.. . please

(ask in reference to this post )

Hi Anon! Apologies this took a bit, i got distracted with some projects and didn't have the energy to answer this right away, hopefully you're still here to see this :)

First off, Bao-yu is Hong Lu's book equivalent. I don't know if you already knew this, but I made the diagram with the assumption people knew this and it kind of blew up way bigger than intended on both here and twitter 😅

The debt of tears is a really big concept in Red Chamber surrounding the fates of Bao-yu and Dai-yu. Bao-yu was originally a piece of jade that the goddess was using to create the sky, but he ended up unused and cast onto the earth. From there, he ended up finding the Crimson Pearl Flower, which he watered every day. Eventually, the flower ended up transforming into a fairy (Dai-yu) due to the care with which he watered her. Dai-yu thinks on how she could repay him for this and settles on “The only way in which I could perhaps repay him would be with the tears shed during the whole of a mortal lifetime if he and I were ever to be reborn as humans in the world below.”

And wouldn't you believe it! They do end up reincarnated as humans in the world below. Bao-yu and Dai-yu are very close throughout their mortal lives, but the debt of tears comes back into the picture during Bao-yu's wedding. He believes he is getting married to Dai-yu as his family told him (because he wouldn't agree to marriage otherwise), but it isn't until the wedding starts he discovers this isn't the case and the family chose for him to marry someone else with a higher social standing. Dai-yu thinks Bao-yu was willingly deceiving her with this and is so distraught about it that she cries until she dies (she is very sickly pretty much constantly and this book is written like a soap opera) which fulfills the Debt of Tears.

As you can imagine, this really messes up Bao-yu. His mental state degrades throughout the book, but that's the nail in the coffin for it all. The debt of tears and the wedding is the emotional climax of the book, and I cannot imagine limbus's adaptation of the story not doing something with it.

The thing about cutting Bao-yu open happens in a dream, and is also related to the debt of tears/ Bao-yu and Dai-yu's relationship actually!

It happens in a dream Dai-yu has in chapter 82 where she's chosen as a second wife for a man and has to leave the Jias. She does Not Want this at all and is unable to do anything in order to stop it. Eventually, she finds Bao-yu and this scene plays out (this next section is words taken directly from the book. because im really normal about it. theres a tldr at the bottom if you aren't reading all that) :

Suddenly she thought: ‘Why haven’t I seen Bao-yu today? He might still know of a way out.’ And as the thought entered her mind, she looked up and sure enough, there, standing right in front of her, all laughter and smiles, was Bao-yu himself. ‘My warmest congratulations, coz!’ This was too much for Dai-yu. Her last vestige of maidenly reserve vanished. She clutched hold of him and cried out: ‘Now I know how heartless and cruel you really are, Bao-yu!’ ‘No, you are wrong,’ he replied. ‘But if you have a husband to go to, then we must go our separate ways.’ Dai-yu listened in despair as this, her very last hope, was taken from her. Clinging to him helplessly, she gave a feverish cry: ‘Oh Bao! I’ve no separate way to go! How could you say such a thing!’ ‘If you don’t want to go, then stay here,’ he replied calmly. ‘You were originally engaged to me. That’s why you came to live here. Has it never occurred to you how specially I’ve always treated you? Haven’t you noticed?’ Suddenly it all seemed clear. She really was engaged to Bao-yu after all. Of course she was! In an instant her despair changed to joy. ‘My mind is made up once and for ever! But you must give me the word. Am I to go? Or am I to stay?’ ‘I’ve told you, stay here with me. If you still don’t trust me, look at my heart.’ With these words he took out a small knife and brought it down across his chest. Blood came spurting out. Terrified out of her wits, Dai-yu tried to staunch the flow with her hand, crying out: ‘How could you? You should have killed me first!’ ‘Don’t worry,’ said Bao-yu. ‘I’m going to show you my heart.’ He fumbled about inside the gaping flesh, while Dai-yu, shaking convulsively, afraid someone might burst in on them at any moment, pressed him to her tightly and wept bitterly. ‘Oh no!’ said Bao-yu. ‘It’s not there any more! My time has come!’ His eyes flickered and he fell with a dull thud to the floor.

tl;dr Bao-yu reassures Dai-yu that there's a way out of her new engagement because she was originally brought to the jia house to be engaged to Bao-yu. Dai-yu is unsure of this and Bao-yu decides to show her his heart to convince her he's telling the truth. he does this by physically cutting his chest open to pull out his heart, but he lacks a heart within his chest to find.

Red Chamber isn't free of violence by any means, but this scene always fucking Got me. its so shocking out of nowhere and its such a potent image, i've drawn something akin to it before because it Got Me so much.

I brought it up in the diagram because his lack of heart reminded me of how the gloom peccatuli contain organs within them, but do not appear to be living organisms, or play part in biological activities. We know Hong Lu has his jade eye, which is probably either prosthetic or a Secret Third (non-normal human eye) Thing, so what's to say he doesn't have other inhuman oddities to him.

It also connects "truth" to physical exposure, in this case exposure not stopping at the skin and going deeper to the organ level. The intertwining of truth and fiction is a HUGE thing in red chamber and this would be really cool if the hypothetical Hong Lu distortion had elements from the gloom peccatulum for this as well (false organs exposed through transparent skin would be both true and false. Really cool)

There's also the concept of "seeing with the eyes" versus "seeing with the heart" which would go crazy when combining all of this. I don't think i can go into that there but tldr is this quote from the little prince

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

And with Hong Lu's eye connection... do you see what im putting down

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

i say this all in the nicest way possible, but act your age, not your shoe size.

first off, don't like, don't read. It should be that simple, but for all y'all who can't get that, i'll explain: there is a feature on tumblr where you can block tags AND CONTENT, so if there is a topic that you don't like seeing/a trigger for you, you can not only block the tag, but also block the content. i'm severely emetophobic, so i have content related to that blocked (don't wanna say the word, it's legit a trigger for me). it works wonderfully. if you do not want to see fics about dark content, there are terms you can filter. the internet is a place where people can post what they want, and you need to understand that it will not cater to you all the time. You can curate your own feed so that you can cater to your own needs, but everyone else is not required to change their content to suit your fancy.

in regards to leon and RE specifically, i hate being the "you have to know the lore to read/write" person but (and btw watching playthroughs counts if you cannot afford the games bc things are expensive, and i get that) if you have not made an effort to play or watch anything from the series, i don't know why you feel like you have any knowledge of 1. resident evil and 2. leon kennedy. he is not your "pookie bear", "lil innocent sweet cutie" (you can write him like that and I am not going to stop you! it's okay to write OOC). he goes through traumatic events in this horror series and is a suicidal alcoholic. he would probably not be a perfect father who brings home flowers everyday after work. ALSO HE IS NOT REAL. HE IS FICTIONAL AND HE DOES NOT HAVE REAL BEHAVIORS AND FEELINGS. "he would never do that". yeah, he wouldn't because HE DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST. it applies to all "versions of leon" that you wanna make up in your head. it's fictional. we're all talking about fake people. get a grip.

most of us on this site are adults. if you are an adult, you can consume and produce dark fics. if you don't want to, then you don't have to. here's a parallel: i really like the book american psycho and they sell it at barnes and noble where you or i could buy a copy, but neither i, nor the barnes and noble employee will force you to read it. it's the same thing here.

if you are a minor and you are old enough to get onto the computer/your phone and type "leon kennedy x reader" then I hope you are old enough to comprehend the words "minors do not interact". in fact, you can block the "leon kennedy smut" tag because those works involve sex and are therefore 18+! I do understand, however, that not everyone will heed the warnings, regardless, i am not responsible for putting up the metaphorical baby gate, as I am not anyone's parent.

more about dark content in general: some people write it because it's therapeutic - to those of you who say "it's not a healthy coping mechanism", show me your degree in psychotherapy and then, we'll talk. others enjoy writing or consuming dark content because it's interesting. personally, i don't write dark content, but i do consume it because i find it interesting. i have never found pure fluff interesting. when i was a child, i did not enjoy disney movies. i loved ghost stories, i remember begging my parents to let me watch the corpse bride when i was 5, i used to go on r/nosleep when i was a kid, my friend and i would get her older sister to take us to the movie theater to watch horror movies when we were too young to go by ourselves. all that is to say: i find certain shit boring.

producing and consuming dark content does not mean that you are endorsing that content. capcom makes horror content. do they endorse murder, rape, incest, etc.? i highly fucking doubt it. (yes, all of those things happen or are directly implied in the resident evil franchise). capcom makes the good guys the protagonists and i think that's why it's hopefully pretty easy to understand their intentions. sometimes, people write things where the bad guys are the protagonists :0 - that doesn't mean that they are endorsing the bad actions of the characters. bret easton ellis was not supporting murder, rape, cannibalism, necrophilia, etc. when he wrote american psycho (it's a social commentary about the vapid nature of consumerism and wall street in the '80s and it's a really good book.) vladimir nabakov was not endorsing pedophilia when he wrote lolita - humbert humbert is the villain. if you can't comprehend this, then i don't know what to tell you.

here's another great example to help you: i might reblog content that includes father/daughter incest, but that does not mean that i would do that stuff with my own father. FIRST OF ALL EW, and SECOND OF ALL I AM A FUCKING LESBIAN. I WOULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH A MAN. EVER AGAIN.

learn critical media consumption and critical thinking in general.

also, if you are telling people 'you're not a real sa victim because you write/like dark content' or 'you're doing harm to victims', YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. most people that i know who have gone through sa (including myself) have struggled to accept that what someone else did was not their fault. it's a huge step in the path to overcoming/coping with trauma to recognize your experience and know that your experience was valid. if you try to invalidate people's trauma, you are actively pushing back their recovery process (for lack of a better phrase), so don't act like you give a fuck about victims! there are conversations that we can and should have surrounding SA, but that's not the conversation you're looking to engage in. i can almost guarantee that none of you are saying that in good faith. you are using SA victims as a reason to police content and i am telling you - as an SA victim - stop it. i understand that some of you may also be victims and i'm sorry that those things happened to you, you did not deserve it (no matter what side of this issue you are on, it's an awful thing and i don't wish it on anyone). if you have not experienced it (I hope you never do), please stop saying things like "this is harmful to SA victims" because it's not your place to speak on that at all.

also, i know some people have been getting rape threats, death threats, etc. YOU CANNOT ACT LIKE YOU HOLD THE MORAL HIGH GROUND AND THEN DO SHIT LIKE THIS. aside from the "moral high ground", you should never be sending that shit to anyone. knock it off. that's harassment.

in line with that, write things that you'd want to read. if you want to read fluff or "wholesome" smut, then write it, and encourage/interact with writers who write that content. for those who are looking for attention, maybe try making content. write what you want. bringing up drama is 1. going to bring hate your way too 2. not a sustainable way to garner attention 3. hopefully not fulfilling for anyone? do something creative. have fun. stop being negative and shitty just to have some weird puritanical circle jerk.

i didn't want to talk about this because I know that half of the people who are bringing this shit up just want attention but jesus christ i'm done hearing people invalidate, name call, harass. just shut up and grow up. i'm tired of reading your dumbass posts. thank you.

tl;dr:

you cannot control what people post on the internet, but you can control what you produce/consume

people creating dark content do not endorse illegal activities

stop weaponizing SA victims (especially when victims tell you to stop) to justify your puritanical content policing

if you are seeking attention, this is a pathetic way to do so

if you want to see fluff, write it and encourage fluff writers to write more

stop harassing others. period.

the world does not revolve around you

<3 i mean this all in the kindest way. i'm just annoyed and hopefully you can understand my reasoning. i don't endorse hate to anyone on any side of this. this shit just makes me want to leave the internet tbh. or like, write for a different fandom idk.

[pumpkinsy0]

Can we get some hcs of Pony and Curly just doing small sweet romantic things for each other? (If that makes sense 😭) Like Pony taking Curly to a movie and Curly doing his best not to complain the whole time because he knows Pony doesn't usually invite people to the movies with him and stuff (even though he's probably not successful in the no complaining part)

OF COURSE I ALWAYS LOVED LIL THINGS LIKE THAT

•curlys moved to the us for a good chunk amount of time, but he still lowkey has his haitian accent and pony can tell bc curly doesnt rlly pronounce his r’s that hard, but pony doesnt mind he likes it

•curly THINKS pony doesnt notice, but pony does, he just thinks its endearing so doesnt say anything

•pony could tell curly he likes this ONE thing and curly will just forever associate it w pony and even if theres something even semi related to what pony likes, curly will show it to pony

•curly doesnt rlly share his interest that much w anyone so when pony finds out curlys interested in one thing, he tries learning about it so curly can talk about it w him, curly listens to ponys rants its only fair if pony does the same or else he feels like a dick

•both pony and curly like different parts of foods but hate the other bits so when theyre eating they usually take out the bit that the other person likes more so they can have it later and they just eat the part they like

•pony learned how to braid so he could do curlys hair sometimes, is he rlly only able to do cornrows??? yea, but its ok curly likes the thought behind it, plus he’s still learning give the guy some time

•he actually helps curly quite a but w his hair, especially when its in an afro, he just CANNOT braid allat much, his lil hands hurt, but minus him and soda, he thinks curlys hair is pretty tough

•they have this habit of pressing their burn scars from that chicken game together, but its so quick that if u blink u could just flat out miss it, its literally just a small press on each others fingers n they stop

•pony tends to fall asleep while reading sometimes and curly notices so while ponys asleep he just takes the book and bends the page corner so pony can find the page again, he knows pony gets cranky when he loses a page

•curly typically has the blinds and window in his room closed BUT he knows that pony likes the small breeze he gets in his own room laying down so when pony comes over those blinds and that window r OPEN

•when curlys off in or jail or whatever, if curlys gonna be gone for a bit, pony gives curly a letter to hold onto, even draws lil doodles on the thing, curly keeps em in a box, sometimes while hes in jail pony has to give curly a letter so he hands it off to tim so he can give it to curly, and tim jokes about opening and reading it and curly gets REAAALLLYYYY touchy about it, telling him not to, ATTEMPTING to intimidate tim

•does it work??? nope, but tims just more curious as to why the letter means sm to curly, he knows they have a thing going on but to get THAT emotional over it??? hmmmm🤨🤨🤔🤔

[well-gosh-diddly-darnit-minyard]

so I was just Thinking some Thoughts, as one does when one cannot sleep, and i was wondering about the saddest book I’ve ever read (either The Raven King [Sakavic, not Stiefvater] or The Sunshine Court) and the book that I was told was super super sad (A Little Life) and now I have to rant. for those of you who have read A Little Life, the book was probably advertised to you in a similar way that it was advertised to me: “this is America’s saddest book”.

and while it is true that ALL is very sad, i have some thoughts on it that I’d like to share. if you haven’t read it but you want to, this is your time to back out and avoid spoilers. also: tw for SA and abuse, and whatever else is in AFTG and ALL.

as I read ALL, I kept wondering about the amount of foreshadowing around Jude’s trauma. when I was finished, I was floored by the writing (impeccable) and the plot itself (???). i constantly felt like Jude’s trauma would vary from place to place, but it seemed like the only form of trauma that the author even considered including was that of sexual assault and abuse. and while these are topics that should totally be discussed and written about in the literature world, it seemed so unrealistic that as Jude went from state to state and place to place that his trauma would only relate to sexual assault and abuse.

and while I do realize that thousands of people across the world have suffered immense amounts of trauma from SA and abuse, when I read Jude’s past I couldn’t see his trauma as anything but exploitative and used for shock value. it also seemed like the author did surface level research on PTSD from SA. before anyone in the notes says that they thought it was accurate, I myself am a victim and it only ever felt like a Hollywood-type piece of media wherein everything is written to gain revenue. there was also very little trauma related to anything BUT sexual assault and abuse. none of it was tied together in any way (I.e., brother Luke didn’t know/wasn’t related to Dr. Traylor in any way).

one thing I truly despised was how Jude responded to all of his trauma. no im not talking about his SH. i’m talking about his half-assed thoughts of, “oh woe is me I’m the worst example of a person ever.” i say these thoughts were half-assed because it seemed like they were never really taken anywhere other than to the people around him, who responded, “no you’re not!! stop hurting yourself!! we’re trying to help you get better!!”

and Jude never got better. there were honeymoon periods, but the author always threw in something new to make his trauma resurface. he also never truly threw himself into getting better, he only ever seemed to make empty promises and then continued to wallow. and in other characters’ povs, it never seems like Jude does anything wrong EXCEPT FOR WHEN HE’S NOT ACTIVELY DOING SOMETHING TO BETTER HIMSELF. it’s only when he is not taking care of himself that others get mad at him in any way, other moments of anger are fleeting and eventually just lead to absolutely nothing.

to sum that all up: there was no moral related to trauma responses or PTSD or healing. there was no true resolution for Jude’s trauma. and the feelings that Jude seemed to have around his trauma always came back to, “I deserved it, I’m the worst person ever, I hate myself,” even when the things that he experienced were so egregious that I had to put the book down. everything was so cliche to me, to the point where I didn’t ever notice if Jude even had a personalized response to his trauma, if there was anything that wouldn’t be found in some clout-fishing TikTok about battling depression where you can practically see the person reading lines off of a poster behind the camera.

of course, take what I say with a grain of salt and don’t let my opinions of the book influence whether or not you read it and enjoy it. many people loved it and I admire the author’s use of words and her writing style, I just think her use of sensitive material for plot value was mediocre at its best.

now: The Sunshine Court.

made me cry. i have only praise for this book and so many thoughts surrounding it, but I’ll try to only talk about Jean’s trauma because that’s what my rant on ALL was about.

in TSC, Jean also experiences some very extreme trauma, and he also resorts to SH, and he also thinks that he deserved it. in my opinion, the difference between him and Jude is the authenticity.

Jean’s trauma mostly stems from his time at the nest, and I say this because his backstory has not been discussed in detail yet. but his trauma is brilliantly discussed and here’s how:

one: he is a person outside of his trauma. he makes fun of people to himself! he does the dishes and cooks!! he’s honest and brutally so!!! not much else to say on this, but I loved that every pov with Jean didn’t always talk about his trauma.

two: the two biggest triggers for him (biting and water) don’t relate!! they are two separate points of concern. biting comes from getting assaulted comes from Grayson. water comes from water boarding comes from extreme punishment comes from Riko.

three: his SH isn’t cutting himself. i realize that cutting is the most common form of SH, but there are other ways that people choose to hurt themselves that aren’t talked about at all. Jean claws at his throat, he tries to scratch the feeling of getting bitten off of his skin. he doesn’t go for the knives in the kitchen.

four: last but most certainly not least, he starts getting better!! he doesn’t just make empty promises, he actually tries to be better! and his line of recovery is. not. linear!!!!! recovery is never linear, and I thought that Nora showed that wonderfully in TSC. he goes back and forth between thinking of the Ravens and being at peace in the present, his past and present aren’t one big flashback.

overall, TSC can be summed up like this: it has a moral about healing. it doesn’t exploit trauma for shock value or revenue, it utilizes one person’s specific response to his own trauma to show how healing and recovery can happen sometimes. and the character actually tries!! he doesn’t wallow, he tries to get better!

anyway. if you made it all the way through, I appreciate you. and if you haven’t read one of these books, I strongly suggest both of them so you can form your own opinions and come to your own conclusions.

[atlasdoe]

Unpopular Marauders opinions

i'm bored so here are some opinions that i'm too scared to say on any other platform

Deciding that Pandora Lovegood had to be from a death eater family (Rosier, Malfoy, Lestrange) was the worst thing this fandom ever did to her character

The fannon characterisation of Marlene McKinnon gives me massive self inset pick me vibes and i hate every part of it (and i really mean every part of it)

This fandom isn't misogynistic y'all are just too demanding and expect the fandom to be the exact same as any other where we have a hardcore cannon source for every one of these characters and ships. we do not. we know more about Barty Crouch Jr then we do about Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald and Dorcas Meadowes combined. it's unrealistic and stupid to expect everyone to care about the same characters and ships to the same capacity as you do when we are not watching/reading the same thing. (if any of that makes sense)

Barty Crouch Jr, Evan Rosier and pretty much every single other death eater were villains. it's okay to like them and want to expand on them but stop trying to make every bad guy secretly good

We cannot keep blaming Dumbledore for everything. Dumbledore had nothing to do with half of the deaths that you are accusing him of. blaming Dumbledore and headcannoning that he obliviated Mary and turned Regulus away and all that takes away from everyone else's characters, sacrifice and choices

The Marauders weren't child soldiers. They had a choice on if they wanted to join the Order or not and they chose to because they're Gryffindors and they're The Marauders and probably thought of themselves as some invisible hero's. They don't need to be seen as victims to Dumbledore for them to be tragic

There is a cannon and you cannot be mad at people for wanting to stick by it

Similarly Fannon Sirius is against cannon. Sirius is one of the primary adult characters in the Harry Potter series. He is literally the title character to the fan favourite book/film. We have so much information about how he acts and "oh Remus i'm your little bitch please let me sit on your lap because i'm only small" ISNT ONE OF THEM

Death to alpha male Remus. DEATH I SAY

This fandom is so obsessed with making every character tragic that the word has lost all meaning. It is possible for Mary to be happy yknow???

Someone in the fandom: "hey look at this cannon character who seems quite interesting" The rest of the fandom: "how can we make this character have some kind of relation to every other character that we already care about??" IM SO SICK OF IT!!! NOT EVERYONE HAS TO BE DATING EVERYONE

Stop trying to change the name of the Slytherin Skittles. Yes it's a stupid name but it's somehow stuck and you're not changing that. just let it be

I ship Remus with anyone who is not more then a year younger then him and i mean literally everyone. Give me Remus and Voldemort fanfic for all I care

I've already said this before but the prank is overrated

Leave my girl Emmeline alone. Why are y'all shipping her with Barty?? Why are you making her the other women to Marlily?? Why are you making her anything but a Ravenclaw?? Do you hate her?? She hasn't done anything to you😭😭 (no but seriously tho i get that headcannons are headcannons but Emmeline is my girl and i have been expanding on her character since 2019 when no one gave a rats arse about her so seeing her shipper with BARTY ruined my life)

That's all i can think of for now please don't hate me but if you wanna talk send me an ask or reply cause i love talking about this kind of stuff :)