#i cant forget this bastard's birthday

[vypridae]

it’s been awhile since i last asked you about yours hcs so give me more :)

[/nf if you don’t want to]

i apologize for nto seeing this sooner i think you sent this in right when i was going to bed and we've been doing a family thing today so i haven't been able to reply to it

ajnyway. hcs (it is time to struggle thinking for an hour) pls excuse me if i forget what we've talked about and i repeat shit im very tired and kinda sad and a few other things SFHKJFHJKAFSG SO . SORRY IN ADVANCE IF SOMETHING IS REPEATED FROM OTHER POSTS IVE DONE

yosano sometimes finds surprise gifts on her doorstep that are exactly to her tastes (they're from kouyou)

sigma, to impress nikolai, has ATTEMPTED (key word attempted) to braid his own hair before. nikolai spent like ten minutes brushing out the tangles afterwards

t4t kousano ? i think yes. they take estrogen at the same time of the day bc they say its a bonding thing (it so is)

dazai LOOVES those big sweaters that have like huge arms bc theyre SOO soft adn warm. there's one time he gets a package and he's very confused because he didnt order anything and he opens it and inside theres a note that says "happy birthday, bastard" and he immediately recognizes the handwriting as chuuya's and inside is a light blue sweater with the big arms and he doesnt take it off for like three days because he LOVES it so much

tachihara rants to hirotsu bc "GIN IS SOOOOO PRETTY" or "AUAUAGUAUA JUNICHIROUOUOUU...??!? ?!?!??!!" and hirotsu is so done actually but he doesnt mind

higuchi likes to collect little trinkets and has boxes and boxes of stuff she doesnt need but wanted to buy

chuuya "spender's guilt" nakahara x osamu "impulsive buyer" dazai. i rest my case

fyodor has a fan/heater in his room because he cant fall asleep very easily without some sort of sound

poe has found an easy way to get the marble out of ranpo's ramune bottles so ranpo can have the marble and the bottle if he wants

tanitachigin, tachihara is 100% the one who screams at horror games

sometimes sigma wakes up and his hair is in a really nice braided bun or something. (nikolai did it) (its very pretty) (sigma doesn't take it down until he absolutely has to, if not the end of the day)

nonbinary shibusawa !!!! i rest my case x2

chuuya keeps bandage wrap in several places in his apartment because he KNOWS dazai just shows up because for some reason he never bothered to take back his apartment key so dazai will pop in to just chill so he just keeps bandage wrap there for him. he also keeps canned crab in a little minifridge in his bedroom so it doesn't clutter his main fridge

jouno LOVES LOVES LOVES chocolate stuff. specifically chocolate covered strawberries he adores them with his whole heart. tecchou thinks its odd (he thinks strawberries in cocktail sauce is way better) but he's made jouno some damn good chocolate covered strawberries because he knows he likes them. i imagine sometimes he'll buy white strawberries and dip them in white chocolate so BOTH of them can enjoy them (even though tecchou thinks they're waaay too sweet, jouno really likes them so he'll eat them with him to make him happy)

[fandom-imagination-ss]

Imagine: Waking up Derek from a Nightmare

***Spoilers from the movie! I will try to limit it ************* Imagine: Derek having a nightmare (no proof reading sorry)

you told Derek Not to Eat Cheese before bed! it always Gives him nightmares. And Derek isn't like a typical Guy. who if they have a nightmare they other hug their pillows try. a few whimpers. and move around. but Derek. you have Shot out of bed after hearing him Growling. in his Sleep, ruined pillows from his nails Digging into it so tightly. and he's Very Sweaty when he's having a nightmare. sweating so much that you are forced to wash them in the morning. Last time he had a nightmare. you weren't expecting him to put you into big bear hug. and tangled h's legs around you and arms squeezed you tightly. you didn't sleep that night between him squeezing you so tightly you could barely breath. to him rumbling and softly growling in your ear. you had to wake him up. after 3 hours. of trying to escape his grip. thankfully he doesn't have nightmares as much anymore. they settled down after a few years together

But Stupid beloved Derek! the Love of your Life. had to hav a snack before bed! And it had to be cheese! your family convinced you that they give you nightmares. No scientist proof but you were convinced that it was the truth. So you always stir away from Cheese. and you try to make sure he doesn't eat it before bed. But Derek didn't put much faith in the superstition in your family's belief. had some cheese.. you cursed at him for having cheese. which Derek mainly did to see you get annoyed at him. he loved annoying you.

it was Late at night and Derek Flung from the Bed cursing loudly as he looked around the room. seeing Everything was in place. the room was Tidy minus the Chair of Doom that he called it which always is full of random junk. both his and yours. the photo of him and he's beloved on the dresser, next to the photo of him and Eli , next to the photo of you pushing Derek face away as you hug Eli tightly at his birthday a few years ago. Derek loved that photo. Eli loves you almost as much as he does. the lights were off and the sky was still dark as you spoke softly, "I told you No cheese idiot."

Derek had tears in his eyes as you reached over rubbing his back, pulling him back down as you wrapped your arms around him "what was it?"

"Lydia Left Stiles."

you rubbed your face on his chest getting a bit comforter on the bed as you squeezed him tightly, " I'm pretty sure that if that was the Case.. Stiles would Probably hold her prisoner.. I mean what was that saying he said when we were- well I was a kid."

"I'll be her second husband. because the first one mysteriously disappeared." Derek added as you chuckled as you nodded your head, "I talked to Lydia this afternoon. she was about to tell Stiles she was pregnant." Derek smiled brightly as he wrapped his arms tightly around you as he spoke, "The Nogitsune was back.'

"and Stiles turned into void again?" you questioned but he shook his head, "no- No but it was something abotu.. it turning into a hybrid werewolf thing... the dream is- im forgetting it."

like most dreams you forget most if it once you wake up. you kissed his bare chest. "I'm pretty sure the Nogitsune can't be more then what it. remember when Scott had to bite Stiles cause it cant be a fox and a wolf? just a bad dream."

"I died... I Died."

that made you move as you asked how as he said , "sacrificing myself to save everyone." could see him doing. you shook your head, "you Try that and I'll bring you back and lock you in the basement myself. you aren't leaving us." he smiled as he spoke, "Alison was alive. and I was helping Eli with his gifts.'

"How did Alison look? still 15?"

'No.. she looked older. it was weird."

"because you ate -" you were coating him to finally accept the truth.. Cheese before bed gives you weird nightmares.

"bad dreams.. yea.. yea. thank god that wasn't real."

"God could you imagine if Lydia just broke up with him? that poor bastard. would- we would probably have to watch him for like 48 hurs or something to make sure he didn't do anything stupid."

"Eli got the Jeep.."

"Stiles would kill our Son! he would fully murder him. and us for letting anyone touch that piece of junk."

you both laughed softly at that idea. seeing Stiles losing his Mind seeing someone else Driving his Jeep that he was forced to keep up here. cause he's work forced him to have a 'black vehicle" and he's light blue jeep was not acceptable. and his parking lot can only hold 2 cars. and between his and Lydia's the jeep had to be up here.

"he would kill us Alll."

[heroiskart]

Happy birthday to our favorite Roomba, Hal Strider

[jadedxrealityw]

-Surprise- Draco Malfoy x Female reader

   ♡~🐍~♡

   Request: Hi bb,, if your requests are open may i pls request for a fic where it’s the reader’s bday and she thought Draco forgot about it but by the end of the day he surprised reader with a lovely dinner where he cooks all the food? Just pls make it super sweet hehe thank u! 🐻💓

   Kody- hehehehehe okay okay. Sounds interesting. I’m going to age them up for plot purposes. I also added a lot of extra things, i couldn’t help myself.

   Warning: Ginny supremacy, cursing, and Draco being the absolute sweetest.

   House: N/A

   ♡~🐍~♡

   eyes fluttering open, you were met with no sign of your fiancé. Which was strange, you expected him to be there since he said he take the day off of work for your birthday. You prop yourself up on the bed and wipe the tiredness from your eyes.

   a piece parchment was laid on the edge of the bed in front of you. Grabbing it, you unfolded it and noticed Draco’s handwriting. Reading its contents only made you more confused ‘Hey, love. Sorry i’m not there this morning. I have a early morning today, hope you have a lovely day -Draco’ 

   your mouth twisted into a frown. Had he forgotten your birthday? No, he couldn’t have. He wouldn’t, right? As your mind continue to rationalize, you stood up from the bed and made your way over to your dresser to change out of your night clothes.

   you slip on some more comfy house clothes and leave the master bedroom. It was bit lonely being stuck in the house all day, but Draco had insisted he wanted you to stay home. So you were a housewife just without the ring.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   sitting at the table alone and eating breakfast you made felt more lonely than usual. Maybe it’s because it was your birthday. Just as you were about to take another bit, the doorbell rang. You sighed and pushed the chair back, standing up. You walk over to the door and open it.

   giving you a bright smile, Hermione waves “Happy birthday Y/n!” she exclaims and pulls you into her embrace. You smile and return it, wrapping your arms around the used to be Gryffindor women. She pulls away and you smile “Thanks, ‘Mione”

   she smiles and reaches into her purse, shuffling around before she grabbed a small neatly wrapped present. It was red wrapping paper with a small black bow. “This is for you! I was hoping i’d make it in time before work” she laughs a little as you grab the present.

    “You can’t stay?” you asked, a hint of sadness in your tone. Hermione shakes your head sympathetic smile on her face “No sorry, but hey you have Draco to spend the day with right?” she waves before turning on her heels and walking down the path, apparating away.

   your smile drops as you slowly close the door. “Right” you repeat her words in a bittersweet way. You look down at your hands at the gift and began to tear at the wrapping paper. Underneath the paper is a small black box, opening revealed a silver necklace with a small dragon. It was beautiful.

   you take it out of the box and unclip it. Reaching behind your neck, you clip the necklace on, the cold metal made you shiver slightly. It was a pretty gift and you would write a letter to Hermione thanking her for it later. Draco would of liked it, if only he was here right.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   slipping the black robe over your bare body, you turned off the shower. You slowly walked out the bathroom and made your way down the stairs making a beeline for the kitchen. Harry had gotten you some nice red wine and you figured why not since you were along anyway.

   As you poured the wine into the glass you began to feel bitter. Draco hadn’t talked to you all day. No surprise visits during his lunch break, no letters, no nothing. How could he forget about you on your day? You lift the glass to your mouth and take a sip.

   “Is the wine good?“ a voice intrudes from behind. You turn quickly and see the one and only Ginny Potter “Ginny? Bloody hell, i have a door for a reason. You cant just apparate here” you narrow your eyes and take another sip. She eyed you up and down before placing a hand on her hip.

   “You don’t look like someone who has been showered in affection and you definitely haven’t been getting railed because your still walking ” She points at you, laughing “Tell me about it” you hiss and take another sip. “I thought he’d be here considering he hasn’t been at the ministry all day”

   your eyes widened. He what? “but he left a note saying he had an early morning. Are you telling me Draco lied?” you questioned and her eyes go wide as well “Holy shit. That slimy Slytherin did lie. You seriously haven’t seen him all day, like all day?” Ginny asked, walking over to you to lean on the kitchen counter.

   you shake your head slowly. Draco lied to you? You felt your heart tug violently. Ginny looked visibly pissed. “Is that bastard cheating?” she said out loud. Your face contorted into one of sadness and distraught. She looked at you and shook her head “oh my merlin! I’m sorry i didn’t mean to say that”

   you waved her off and grabbed the bottle of wine, going to take a chug “yeah no we are getting you proper hammered, not whatever this is-” she took the bottle and looked at it, her face twinging in disgust “-what the fuck is this weak shit?” Ginny questions and you shrugged “Harry got it for me”

   she rolled her eyes setting the bottle down on the counter “of course he did” she shakes her head slowly. “Anyway, go upstairs and don’t come out until you look somewhat decent” Ginny says and you nod slowly before leaving the kitchen.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   walking down the stairs in boots almost made you trip, but you were okay in the end. As you neared the last steps you saw Ginny sitting on the sofa. You walk down and she spots you in the outfit. “Good. You look great. Let’s bounce ” She stands up and walks over, grabbing your hand. 

   “where are we going exactly?” you ask. Ginny gives you a wink before apparating with you. You blink a couple times and you were standing outside a bar “Aw makes sense” you nod and the ginger leads you inside.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   you had only finished a bit of your drink when your mind flooded with different thoughts. Was Draco really cheating on you? It would make a bit of sense considering he hadn’t seen you all day and had been a bit distant in the days leading up to your birthday.

   you hadn’t noticed the fresh tears rolling down your cheeks until Ginny tapped your shoulder “Hun, are you alright?” she asked, setting her glass of firewhiskey down. You shake your head, standing up from the stool “I just want to go home and sleep” you choke out, wiping a stray tear. 

   Ginny checks the time on her wand and nods “Yeah okay, lets go” she says and grabs your hand and off you both apparate again. This time outside the Malfoy Manor “Couldn’t you apparate me inside?” you question, turning to face her. Ginny shrugged “Sorry love, anyway Happy birthday” she winks.

   you raise a brow and look towards the manor, why are the lights on? You turn to face the ginger, but it seems she already apparated away. You sigh and walk up the door, pushing it open. Your met with a very delicious smell, which makes you super confused.

   you pull out your wand thinking someone had broken into your house, too cook? That didn’t make any sense. You slowly crept up to the kitchen and could see a shadow placing stuff on the table. You quickly lept from around the corner and startled the intruder- wait no it was Draco.

   “What the bloody hell Y/n! You could of killed me!” he exclaims as he placed the plate on the table. You stood there frozen for a moment before the metaphorical dam broke. “I should’ve killed you Draco Malfoy! How dare you show up this late!”

   Draco eyes widened a bit as he opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. “and don’t even say you were at work, because no one has seen you all day! So if your cheating on me just take your fucking ring and leave!” you shout and pluck the engagement ring off your finger and slam it on the counter.

   you look at the counter that had a bottle of wine on it and your eyes slowly trail to the table that wa set with a literal four-course meal spread on it, two glasses of wine and card that said ‘Happy birthday Y/n.’ you snap your head to look at him and see he was a wearing an apron.

   it hit you in the head like a train. Oh-. You slowly gulp and slide down the counter until you reach the floor and sit down in shame “This was a surprise wasn’t it?” you ask, not even looking at it and he nods slowly, taking his apron off and setting it on the counter “Spent all day preparing?” you question.

   it earns another nod from the pale boy, he grabs your ring off the counter and slowly sits next to you. He hands you your ring and you push it away “Love?” he says, a worried tone present in his voice “i can’t believe i thought you cheated on me, i mean how overly dramatic can i get?”

   “I mean- you are engaged to me and i’m the most dramatic person i’ve ever met” Draco jokes, trying to lighten the mood. You snicker, a small smile forming at your lips. He grins and wraps an arm around you “Don’t beat yourself up over this. It’s okay, i most likely would have overreacted more than you did”

   you lean onto him as he grabs your hand, slipping your ring on your finger once again. “Alright enough sulking, let’s eat” Draco stands up and pulls you up from the ground, he leads you to your chair and you sit down. He leans down to press a kiss to your temple, making you smile.

   “Happy birthday, my love” he whispers before taking a seat next to you. You look at the food, it was all your favorite dishes. He really went all out and it made your heart flutter. “Thank you so much. I really don’t deserve it” you forced out, making the blond boy roll his eyes. 

   “of course you do. Now hush and eat darling before the food gets cold” he grabs a serving spoon and begins to put food on his plate. When he’s finished you lean over and plant a sweet kiss on his lips. Surprised, he kisses back. You both pull away and you smile warmly “I love you Draco Malfoy”

   “As do i, Y/n Malfoy”

   ♡~🐍~♡

   Kody- uh, this took me three days because procrastination is great. I also went like a million different directions with is, eh- i’m not feeling to great about it. Anyways, peace.

[over-under-through1]

Brick and Buttercups friendship headcannons

judgemental homiez

like they’ll be staring from 4 yards away at Boomer and Bubbles unsuccessfully flirting and just look at each other like “... dude.”

except Brick has no room to judge cause he’s a TRAIN WRECK while flirting with Blossom

so Buttercup is kinda forced into helping him with that one cause “jesus christ I cant watch this anymore you’re embarrassing yourself man”

Buttercup is his number 1 wingman

when they work together they can get literally anything done

like, if the teacher pairs them up on a group project? it’ll get done in 2 days, there’s a light show, speakers are set up, they bring in horses, it’s just nuts

Brick finds out that Butch has a thing for BC and does some lowkey work to get them together that no one knows about

he finds out BC likes guys in flannels? he starts sneaking flannels into Butches closet

oh, did I mention that he only trusts Buttercup to drive his car? because yeah, that’s a thing

also if he’s driving everyone (and Blossom isn’t there cause duh) BC gets first dibs on the front seat (much to his brother’s discontentment)

BC lowkey blackmails Brick into making her food cause his cooking is the best

they started making fun of Mike and Mitch doing the “bro hug” by mimicking them but then they got into the habit of doing it so now that’s a thing

so you’ll just see Brick congratulating BC on something by doing the 🤝 pat on the back thing

okay at Brick and Blossom’s wedding the red’s had a squabble over who gets to have BC has their brides maid/grooms man (maid?)

Blossom won because sister rights but Brick was very petty over it

he did however have BC at his bachelor party (he and Blossom had their parties on different days so this would work)

also if you were wondering: yes, Brick was at BC’s bachelorette party

BC is the cool aunt and Brick throws a hissy fit over it. BC finds this hilarious

Brick and Buttercup both mutually agreed that all big time family dinners (i.e. Christmas, any of their birthdays, new years, etc.) cooking is up to them. the only other person who is even REMOTELY aloud in that kitchen is Bubbles but Butch, Boomer, and Blossom’s are banned on all accounts

Brick and BC have been forbidden from being on a team during full family game nights (these nights include the greens, red, blues, miblo,robike, the prof, the mayor, Ms.Bellum, and Ms.Keane so you know that there’s a lot of competitive vibes in that room) cause they either get WAY too competitive together and end up flipping the board if they loose or they win within the first 10 minutes of playing

also This Art by Red Can Draw basically sums up how I see their entire friendship

Blossom may steal his hat and wear it to show love, but Buttercup does it purely to annoy him. it makes her laugh to see flames coming out of his nostrils

Brick once asked Buttercup to braid his hair and it DID NOT GO WELL

NEVER. AGAIN.

there’s a reason why she keeps hers so short, she’s just not good at hair man

she’s what influenced Brick into getting his ears pierced

he cried like a bitch and she had to begrudgingly comfort him with a “😑😬” face the entire time

they tag team to calm down their counterparts because hey, yes, normally Brick and BC are the more volatile teammates, but when their counterparts get pissed it takes the works of both of them combined to get them to see clearly again

Brick found out about the shit Buttercup went through with Ace in the past (not gonna get into that right now) and he literally shook Butch and Boomer awake at 4am so they could go “teach that slimy little bastard a lesson he’ll never forget” (Butch didn’t know why they were doing this because BC threatened to demember Brick if he ever told him, but hey, any excuse to beat up the green turd he’ll accept)

I’ve mentioned this so many times before but the amount of ARSON JOKES Buttercup makes about Brick

it’s non stop and he hates it

“I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, UTONIUM!! LET IT GO!!”

I also said before that she sends him a fire meme a day and I’m sticking with that

90% of the time they call each other by their last names, otherwise it’s “BC” and “Cap Boy” and “your redness”

[alafthesimp]

Im scared of Happiness and he Terrifies me

“Happy birthday Chuuya”

The shorter male turned around to find the brunet wearing his usual trench coat standing a few meters away from where he sat.

"How did you know i was here?"

"I just followed my heart and look it brought me to the right place. You're funny chuuya, you make it sound like its hard for me to find you." he teased. Chuuya hates hearing that voice. Specially when he makes his sweet lies sound sincere.

"Oi mackerel quit foolin! The ADA wont be pleased if they find out their honorary member is meeting up with a PM executive behind their backs. Go back, dont ruin my mood."

"Im not here as an ADA member Chuuya." His calm breathy voice. All toxic to Chuuya's ears.

"And why would they mind when im just here to meet my old partner and a friend? I dont think they will."

Calling out his name as if they're still the same. As if its still like their old days, where they can still muck around the PM headquarters, the slum alleys,the countless hideouts, simply when the entire Yakohama city was their playground. After Dazai disappeared that night Chuuya's hatred towards him only grew bitter. Was it the betrayal to their committed organization or was it something else? He himself is not sure about it.

"Well Im still a mafia. We were partners back in the time when you were in the PM. Now that you've left there's no reason for us to..........Listen Dazai You decided to move on from your past so its better if you leave the old memories behind. Forget that you know me, forget that we had anything to do with each other." Realization was quick to kick in Chuuya. He spoke way too much than he should've. That scammer must have planned something. He cant let Dazai play him like that.

"Tch why am i telling you all this. Just leave already."

"You're exceptionally in a good mood today. I thought I'd be beaten up to death the moment I show up here."

"Im close to doing that."

"Awh Chuuya how nice of you to warn me like that! But i dont mind taking a few hits from you today. Since its your birthday!"

Chuuya's world halted for a moment. "He remembers?"

"SHUT TF UP!" Chuuya threw a punch but it never landed on Dazai's skin. Dazai successfully doged the punch. He was swift to grab his wrist and locked it behind his back.

"You're slow today chibi. Having mercy on me?"

Chuuya glared at him, his blue eyes shining under the setting sun. If exposed to a poet imagine all the beautiful wordplay it would trigger in their heart. The eyes of someone who's deadly but yet so human. His Chuuya never fails to surprise him with a new side his personality.

"Your eyes are still the same. But why do I see fear in your eyes? Is Terror himself terrified of Something?"

"STOP WITH THAT NONSENSE DAZAI!" With another push Chuuya freed himself from the other's grip. He should have left earlier rather than waiting for bandaged guy to leave him alone. The longer the conversation will last between them the more exposed he will ne infront of his former partner. Who manages to read him like an open book. The one he wrote himself. Least of what he wants right now.

"I thought we could have a civil conversation for once but no you're annoying as ever."

"THATS MY LINE GOD DAMNIT!"

"uh æ æ. You could've just accepted my birthday greeting for you. That way things wouldn't have elastated so far."

"Dont make me regret things."

"You regret so many things,Chuuya. Your face says that you do."

"THEN STOP FREAKING LOOKING AT IT YOU BASTARD!" this time his punch landed perfectly on the taller's cheek. Slightly bruising it red.

"Ouch that hurt."

"AS IT SHOULD! Dont analyze things the way you want, Dazai. Your tricks wont work on me."

"But they have, Always. You cant deny that on my face."

"FINE IM LEAVING! I wasted both my time and energy here arguing with you."

"Chuuya, I came here just to wish you and I didn't plan on arguing. Its more likely to be you,who held me back by picking up a fight." He sang out.

His words had Chuuya thinking. Did he unintentionally try to make Dazai stay by his side and is that why he provoked him? And regret? He regrets nothing? What was he implying to?What Dazai said could be deciphered in many ways, meanings and all of them would make sense somehow.

Chuuya wants to cry out of frustration. Thats how he always feels everytime he's around Dazai. Pushed to the edge of his emotions, anger, annoyance, frustration, hatred all combined drives him insane. He absolutely hates that, his own emotions make him feel helpless. A strong person like him can be played so easily by this certain someone who outsmarts him everytime.

"Silence speaks louder than words." Dazai smirked in between his words. He walked to the clif and sat down looking at the sun slowly setting down in the red sky.

"And stop resisting Chuuya. Your small brain cant process all the things you're probably thinking right now. Dont put pressure on it."

"Stop talking."

"What? We meet after so many days and you shut me up like that. Such a mean thing to do to be honest. Now that you've calmed down a bit can i ask you something?"

"If i deny will it stop you?"

"No."

"Then just do it dammit." Chuuya has a bad feeling about this but if he reacts the situation is most likely to get worse.

"Okay okay. So The Nakahara Chuuya I've known for all these years, the only thing he fears is...... being close to happiness. Which is valid. Cause he has enough experiences and reasons to feel that way. But now out of all times why do I sense that same fear your eyes again? Specially now...."

Chuuya can never answer that question. No way he's going to tell him he's scared of being happy cause he cant predict what waits for him after that. Happiness comes at a great cost, this is something he had learned. In the most brutal ways if one's being truthful. Everytime he had felt happiness or anything remotely close to that, soon it was snatched away from him. His friends, his brother, Sheep and Dazai.......He can look death right in its eyes but happiness actually terrifies him.

He clutched his gloved hands. Stood up but right when he was about to walk away he felt a strong grip on his wrist again.

"You can stay here. I'll leave you alone by yourself to collect your thoughts. Enjoy your time here. Dont get into fights and return back home safely!"

"Its none of your business."

"Ive saved your life multiple times so ofcourse your life, its my business!"

"That makes no sense."

"Whatever you say, Chuuya. You're alive so far because of me and me...why i am alive inspite of wanting to die so bad is...... You'll find it out in the future someday. For now I'll take my leave, I've got my answer anyways. Jja~ Goodbye."

"What? DAZAI-"

"Nee Chuuya I've indeed moved on from my past but even after choosing separate paths you cant simply get rid of me!” And he left saying that. Chuuya watched him walk away. At the end he still sounded like a brat teasing him but what Dazai said filled him similar feelings from the past and again he was scared. He raised his hand to fix his hat only for his finger to brush against something soft. Which felt like a flower petal.

He took the hat off and found a red Tsubaki(Red camellias) delicately tugged inside his Fedora ribbon. 

“When did he put it here?” Chuuya searched for Dazai but he was nowhere in his sight.

“Dazai you sly bastard!” he cursed under his breath holding the flower close to his chest.

THE END

This is my first time writing something for skk. And im really happy that its on Chuuya’s birthday. I saw this post and it inspired me to turn it into a one shot. I wrote this in a couple hours which is very unlikely to be me. its not very well detailed but i like it this way. ill leave the surroundings to your imaginations, but for me its just a simple high place in the yakohama city, from where they can see the sun set. Feel free to share your opinions on this with me.

Link to the original post that inspired this : https://zekrommoo7.tumblr.com/post/649815270177882112/dazai-happy-birthday-chuuya-chuuya-get

And again HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUUYA 

[bendigo-shemndigo]

I’ve drawn some stuff for Tik Tok that I’ve forgotten to post

Oops!! Well any ways here they are!!

1) Anime Art Challenge! Choose an anime character and make a fusion with yourself!

I choose Vegeta! I like the ssj hair flowing into green

2) MHA art challenge! Find three characters, one that has your age, one with your height, and one on or near your birthday, then you combined them with yourself and make a character. 

My characters were Hawks, Shigaraki, and Aoyama! I was digging the look and I really wanted another MHA oc that fit... me... a little better, so I decided to keep him, flesh out his story some, and give him a redesign. Thus bringing The Emotions Vigilante: Apathy! 

His quirk: Emotion Energy. He is able to convert his emotions into energy that he can expel out his body. The stronger the emotion that he’s feeling the stronger his attacks! However if he uses his emotions normally he cant use it for his quirk, as well as if he uses the emotions for his quirk too much, he forgets how to feel that emotion for a while. The time between when he can feel emotions vary.

3) Hazbin Hotel OC Challenge- in this one the origonal sound gives you prompts to use depending on your birthday, gender, and a roll of dice. 

My prompt was that he was a rabbit demon that died some time in the 1800′s and his sin was greed. I have named him Zeek and he is a greedy bastard, willing to do anything for cash, he’s not very strong in hell but he has a lot of connections. 

Thats all I have for now! I’ll post more if I find more art challenges!

[yagirleddie]

the agency (1)

~min yoongi x reader

~summary: what happens when you have to leave the best two years of your life behind and hand the rest of it over to a corporation that turned you into a living weapon ? what happens when years later memories of an unknown life materialize out of nowhere and change everything you thought was real ?

~warnings: idk, give it a read ig 

Getting close to the apartment now, you feel the nerves almost twice as much as what it was on the subway from work. The adrenaline has long worn off but the panic and anxiety lingered around your bones as you recalled the phone call from earlier.

“Are you sure there’s no other way? Cant the extraction wait?”

Your voice wavered only slightly before hiding the cough making its way up your throat. The smell of the approaching Doom’s Day seemed to only have an effect on you as unsuspecting civilians littered the pavements alongside you. A couple bumping into you without as much as an acknowledgment or an apology. Figures.

“It has to be today, agent. We agreed that we’d give you two years to live amongst these people in exchange for the rest of your life and your services.”

“I know but what about Yoongi. He’s the love of my life!! I can’t just up and leave, they’ll know something is up.” The frantic beats of your heart showed more in the trembles of your fingers than in your voice and for that you were thankful, however even you knew hiding anything from your boss was impossible.

The deadline of 9pm clouded your thoughts and you dreaded having to meet with your boyfriend of two years and his friends that have quickly become yours, knowing it would be the last time you’ll ever see them again.

Pulling out your keys to the apartment, you take note of the splintered wood of the closed door as it will most likely be the last time standing in front of it. With shaky hands, you manage to open the door and dejectedly walk through, placing your work bag on the floor and your keys in the ceramic bowl under the standard ‘LIVE LOVE LAUGH’ poster that Yoongi bought you as a gag gift for your birthday last year.

“Y/N!!”

A deep voice belonging to none other than Taehyung, Yoongi’s old flatmate before moving in with you. His black hair was curled this evening, boxy smile hidden under the cool grey fabric of his most prized hoodie. The front had the signatures of all his friends on it and the shiny silver print of yours and Yoongi’s handwriting on the back. The print reminding you of your questioning glance of why there was only two and met with the “its reserved for my favourite couples,” as his answer.

“Guess who I found lost in her pretty little head?!!”

A chorus of your name being called and their confessions of missing you brought you out of your head as a hand pushed you further into the open plan living room to stand behind the black couch.

“Fucking finally!”

“You know how long we had to wait for you?!”

“Jin hyung kept complaining about you being late!”

“Did you just call my girlfriend pretty?”

There it is. The voice you’re gonna miss so much. His deep melodic drawl still made butterflies erupt in your stomach, even almost two years after your first meeting. The gleam in his eyes when he looks at you is still evident despite being covered by the jet black strands that fall into his face, matching the all black outfit that consisted of a hoodie and sweats. He looked comfortable and all you wanted to do was snuggle against his chest and fall asleep to the rhythm that was his heart and forget that in 3 or so hours you’d have to leave.

“Hey Yoongs,” you sigh lovingly into his gesture of affection, his lips cold yet so inviting, “how’re the kids doing?”

You lean over the couch to ruffle your hands through the half-red-half-blonde hair of the youngest of Yoongi’s friends and stupidly laugh through a greeting with him. Jungkook’s doe eyes closing slightly due to his bunny teeth taking up the bottom half of his face and the dimples in his visible cheek. He shared that with his older brother, the grey haired man that sat across from Taehyung with his legs folded under him. Another person you’ll miss.

Yoongi pulls you into another embrace and patiently waits for you to wrap your arms around him. He’s a good head taller than you making your position comfortable enough to rest his chin on your head. He mumbles into your neck about Jin- the oldest and resident mother of the group- needing your opinion on the food he’s made and whether or not you’d fight his case when he’s put on trial for murdering Jimin and Hobi for being absolutely useless in the kitchen.

A breathy laugh escapes you before diving in for another soft kiss from Yoongi and whispering an ‘I love you’ in his ear. You lock eyes and you pray that he doesn’t see the sad and regretful yearning that possibly shows on your face before walking towards the kitchen with a sigh.

The kitchen is bustling with the movement of Seokjin putting together a salad while playfully berating his dongsaengs for picking the toppings off the freshly decorated cake sitting on the island’s marble countertop, courtesy of the rich bastards leaning on it. A “pre-wedding gift” they called it. If only you’d ever reach that point in your relationship.

The shorter of the two-Jimin-bounds over to you with open arms and a charming eye smile that made it hard not to smile back. His gentle laughter forced its way through your ears as his chin hit your shoulder and you wonder what you did in your past life to deserve feeling such heavy guilt in your stomach for what you’d inevitably have to do later. Surely you kicked a puppy or some shit because fuck if leaving them wasn’t going to be the most painful thing you’ve ever done.

Jimin’s short arms are replaced with the strong ones of your boyfriend, immediately recognizing it was him due to the mint and sandalwood essence of the scent that was Yoongi. His arms shook with the force of his usually silent laugh brought out of him by the shenanigans of the elder and the two men still eating away at the almost naked cake.

Hobi, the red head, and resident sunshine of the group only briefly greeted you before apologising to Jin for the cake and offering to redecorate it. His smile never leaving his face which only added to the fun atmosphere of the simplistic design of the black and white kitchen. Looking around one last time, Yoongi again notices that same forlorn look in your eye from earlier and hesitates to question it before you excuse yourself from the kitchen to “wash up and get comfortable".

Yoongi turns to Jin after watching you retreat to your shared bedroom, and asks if he thinks you’re acting weird, to which he only responds with a distracted “huh” before moving to the apartment’s very spacious balcony to neatly set out the dishes that he slaved over for majority of the afternoon

Namjoon watches Yoongi take a seat next to him with a pensive look on his face and index finger pawing away at the skin on his pink lips. Jungkook mouths to Taehyung that, as quiet as Yoongi hyung is, he’s uncharacteristically more so than usual. Yoongi sighs audibly and slouches down so far on the couch that his cleanly shaved chin rests on his chest, bringing his left hand to push his hair off his forehead.

Taehyung senses the anxious atmosphere and pulls an irritated Jungkook (for not being able to “kill the son of a bitch who got his Widowmaker killed") to where Jin, Jimin and Hobi were occupying seats nearest to the edge of the balcony.

Taehyung turns back and sees Namjoon pat, the now upright, Yoongi's shoulder and moves around the couch to get to him. Namjoon takes in the questioning glance of the dark haired younger and hesitates before explaining that Yoongi thinks Y/N is acting weird.

Before Namjoon could say anything further he's interrupted by the call of your name and a plea from Jungkook to sit next to him.

“Noona!” Jungkook pouts while requesting that you sit next to him and not Jimin which made you smile before throwing an apologetic look towards the glaring blonde. Minutes later Yoongi takes a seat next to you and brings your hand out from under your bum to hold it in his. Your sweater paws no more as the matching black hoodie pools around the wrists that were covered with light scars that only Yoongi knew existed. He smiles in your direction which immediately lightens the weight in your chest, causing you to climb into his lap. His arms snake around your slim waist, never once letting go from your hand and brings his lips to your neck.

“I missed you, baby.” Yoongi whispers into the air between you and it takes all the self restraint in your body to not burst into tears because of the situation you found yourself in.

“You saw me this morning.” You laugh and Yoongi thinks the sound alone can cure cancer, with the way your eyes seemingly disappear into your head and occasionally hitch in frequency when you struggle to draw in a breath.

Suddenly with the way he’s looking at the endearing tint on your cheeks, he doesn’t notice when his hyung stands up to make a toast, only brought back to the present when he feels you tense in his arms when you look at the time on your phone. 7:58pm.

Looking at your phone to check the time only served as a heinous reminder of the fact that in an hour your little family will be no more. The look in your eye returns and before Yoongi could comment on it, Namjoon is urging him to stand and make a speech. He stares back dumbfounded before realizing that he’s been spaced out long enough to miss both Jin and the younger male to finish talking. Which must have been long because those two had a thing for the dramatics. Tapping your waist, you move to take back your seat next to Jungkook with your body facing Yoongi as he speaks.

“We all know today is the two year mark of Y/N officially being welcomed into our family…”

Your boyfriend continues to drawl through his speech but you’re lost on the fact that it really has been two years since you met them. Back when the city was still new to you and your anticipation of civilian life was exciting. So exciting that even while finalizing the two year deal with your agency, you overlooked many of the EXTRACTION details in favour of dreaming about falling in love and starting fresh. However you didn’t take into account that leaving this life behind will hurt like hell.

“I’m excited for what the future has in store for us Jagiya but for now the only future I want to think about is our two year anniversary next week.”

The boys don’t notice your sudden quietness throughout the dinner and even if they did, they don’t comment on it. They collectively chalk it up to post work exhaustion which pulled a smile from you at their business-like discussion on your apparent exhaustion.

Namjoon and Seokjin call your name from across the table to decide their win on their discussion when a series of ear shattering explosions cut the joyful dining experience in half. In a curious and frightened panic, the boys look around and freeze at the sight of flickers of light in the near distance.

Taking their frozen stances as an opportunity you check your phone. 9:00 pm. Your hands shake and you will yourself to slip away from the 6 distracted men and unsuspecting boyfriend. Looking back you see both Jin and Yoongi ask Jungkook if he’s alright, along with the fake maknaes and getting scared “I’m fine hyungs" as a response.

Turning your back on them you don’t see Yoongi blindly reach out behind him to check if you’re alright and you don’t see him turn around in confusion.

Your throat burns with the effort it takes not to cry or call out to your friends and boyfriend and instead sucking in a breath, harshly swallowing the pains of heartbreak threatening to make your knees buckle. You dash to the front door to uncover your belongings and in a quick fashion pull out the 7 letters you wrote for your boys.

Whispering a quick sorry to no one in particular you push your way out the threshold of what once was your home, eyes filled to the brim with the painful tears of the situation. In your haste to leave you don’t notice the confused and betrayed pair of eyes standing with his back to your large Black TV, silently watching you through the mirror hanging off to the side at an angle that caught your hurried exit.

Voices fill the air with concern and panic as the boys on the balcony realise the absence of the second oldest's girlfriend. Jungkook wipes his face with the back of his hand and Jimin pulls out his phone to call you. Taehyung is off somewhere searching the house for you and Yoongi is frustratedly carding his hands through the roots of his hair.

Silence ensues as the ringing of a phone sends everyone into search mode. Jimin finds it first and the boys watch your screen light up with a picture of you and Yoongi from 6 months ago. Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook are playing soccer in the background while slightly to the left sits a bored Namjoon with his hands under his head and a sleeping Seokjin on his stomach. Hobi sits behind Namjoon, eating what’s left of the pineapple that you packed for that day.

Yoongi remembers that day well, especially because it was supposed to be a romantic date with just you two but ended up being a family picnic with you and the boys.

What scared him most was the loud and obnoxiously red notification that ripped through the air with its arrival, sending the once worried group of 7 into panic stricken fear and confusion.

9:11 [EXTRACTION COMPLETE]

[trashbinbackyard]

50/50 mae + cameron?

yeet

1. How would the 12 year old version of your character look at themselves now?

“lol, nerd” disregarding that she herself, was also a nerd at 12, nice catch of a husband tho

2. What are the 3 most painful/traumatic moments in your characters life?

Being sexually harassed as a teen is up there, most painful was The Big Fight and giving birth

3. Does your character has something they always bring with them? What is it and why?

Back when she was scavenger she had a bracelet Yumi made her, now it’s that and her wedding ring

4. Does your character have/had a relationship? Why do they love the person so much and has the person changed them?

She’s mostly dated women and is now married to Joe, he’s fun and creative and keeps up and challenges her temper, he made her reconsider her stance on having kids too

5. How did character A and B met?

-

6. What is your characters happiest memory?

Wedding, her kids being born

7. Does your character have a second name?

have i given her a second name?? cant even remember most surnames anymore i dont trust myself

8. What is your characters favourite place to go?

The bar she often visits, cafes

9. What makes your character cry?

Loved ones in peril

10. What is something that makes your character happy and smile?

Hanging out with friends, Joe, the kids, watch them do stuff and succeed in life

11. When is your characters birthday?

oof

--

12. What does your character hate?

Rude people, how much tasty drinks cost compared to beer

13. Does your character want to have children?

Hell no, but loves being a de-facto uncle

14. How does your character behave around children?

Not that much, he’s a 30 year old child himself, kids love a chaotic authority figure

15. What is your characters favourite animal?

He does have two hamsters, but he also like otters, take that as you will

16. What is your characters favourite season and why?

Autumn, not too hot not too cold, chilly enough to wear leather jackets but chilly enough to cover his neck tattoo just yet

17. Is your character an early bird or a night owl?

Night owl, dude is unconchus till 3pm

18. What is the worst things your character would do?

Forget his friends toddler in a taco bell (as far as radu is concerned this has never happened)

19. What is the stupidest thing your character would do?

So far to get a meme tattooed to one up his meme bastard boyfriend

20. What would your character want as a present?

m o r e s y m b a l

21. What is your characters favourite food?

Anything greasy and spicy, this is largely max’s influence

22. What type of clothing does your character usually wear?

Black and grey, leather/bomber jackets, scarves, ripped jeans

[kagehinataboke]

roomates tdbk y e s

absolutely!!!! y’all know i live for this shit 👏🏻

tdbk: [30] neighbors/roommates

***

Loving your roommate isn’t a complicated thing. Falling in love with your roommate is, however, a very complicated thing. On his first day of university, Bakugou knows neither of these things. He’s never had a roommate before in his life, and he obviously doesn’t expect to fall in love with a guy—or with anyone, for that matter.

Unfortunately, people are always unexpected. You can prepare for college all you want—picking a place to stay, buying shitty bedding, lugging everything you own (and have shoved into cardboard boxes) up five flights of stairs because the elevator is broken—but you can’t prepare for something like this. For stepping into your new room to find an angel knee-deep in unpacked clothes and class registration papers.

‘Knee-deep’ wouldn’t normally apply in a situation like this, but there’s nothing else to describe the mess. Papers everywhere, pants on the back of the chair, a sweatshirt hanging from the AC box in the window. It’s like a cyclone has torn through, and in the middle of it all is the eye of the storm: a boy—an angel—who turns to look at Bakugou with eerily mismatched irises, an apology already spilling from his lips. “Oh, hello. I’m sorry for the mess. A bird hit the window, and then the AC kicked on, and well…” He gestures lamely at the disaster zone, as if that should be explanation enough.

Bakugou has been standing in the doorway, speechless, but he makes a conscious effort to stop gawking. “What the fuck?” The question applies to everything about this scenario: especially the human renaissance painting in front of him and the torn-up room.

The stormy-eyed, angelic pretty-boy associates it with the state of the room. “I know it looks bad… But it won’t take very long to clean up.” He rushes from spot to spot, efficiently erasing the disaster. “I wasn’t sure which side you wanted, but I suppose since most of the mess ended up on the left, you can take the right.”

Bakugou’s getting tired just watching him, so he puts down his cardboard burden and collects the papers scattered on the carpet. The top of the stack is the boy’s orientation welcome, with his first name in bold letters: TODOROKI SHOUTO. Clumsy. Probably a fucking moron. Angelic. Bakugou’s new roommate.

“Thank you.” Their hands brush when Todoroki takes the papers, his touch a shot of ice up Bakugou’s arm. Their eyes lock, and the air feels supercharged for ten long seconds before Bakugou rips his gaze away.

“No problem,” he says aloud. In his head echoes something very different: I’m so very, very fucked.

***

Three weeks. It’s been three weeks, and Bakugou is sincerely beginning to question his sanity. Todoroki’s hair in the morning. Todoroki’s whispering voice when he calls one of his siblings at any hour past 9. Todoroki tripping over his feet in the middle of the night because he doesn’t want to wake Bakugou up by turning on the light. Todoroki’s desk, which is so messy he can’t possibly know where anything is. Todoroki. Bakugou’s mind is drowning in him.

He isn’t gay. He knows he isn’t. But he also knows that Todoroki might be the heavens incarnate—and that’s pretty darn gay. Fuck, he doesn’t even care if he’s gay. Todoroki makes him forget his own name sometimes, sexuality be damned. If they have to live together for even another second, Bakugou is sure he’ll go crazy.

Well, he already has. He knows he already has when Todoroki bursts into their room and says the words, “I lost my wallet.”

Normally, Bakugou would give a resolute, “That’s your own fucking problem.” He knows he’s gone crazy because he says, “Where’d you have it last?” instead.

“The north side of the quad. I only just noticed it was missing.” He bites his bottom lip in a way that really shouldn’t be so enticing. “Is it possible to borrow your motorcycle?”

Bakugou knows he should say no. Getting any closer to the beautiful disaster that is Todoroki Shouto can not possibly be good. But fuck, he’s already pulling out his keys. “As if I’d let you touch my motorcycle, asshole. Let’s go.”

God, he’s a fucking idiot. What the hell is he doing? He can’t honestly expect Todoroki to ever realize his infatuation. If there’s one thing he is—aside from clumsy—it’s oblivious. He must be oblivious, if he can hold onto Bakugou’s waist so tightly without realizing that his heart is jumping out of his chest. The only thing that would be more obvious is a fucking sign on his forehead.

Bakugou faintly contemplates—while searching for the dipshit’s wallet on his hands and knees—just telling him outright. He’s so dense that he’ll never get it on his own, and living with him for the next year is too tortuous of a thought to bare. Jesus. He keeps bending over, for fuck’s sake. Even if that’s just this once, Bakugou still won’t survive.

“I can’t find it anywhere.” Todoroki straightens and glances at Bakugou sidelong. “Did you?”

He shakes his head with an irate scoff. “How the fuck did you lose your wallet, anyway? Wasn’t it in your bag?”

Todoroki avoids the question, brushing grass off his jeans. “You didn’t have to stay and help. Can I buy you dinner, as a thank you?”

If Bakugou wasn’t pissed, he’d be in the process of realizing that this means a date. But he is pissed, and fucking hungry after digging through the bushes. “Whatever. But I’m picking the restaurant.”

Todoroki looks almost relieved. “That’s fine. You have the transportation, after all.”

“Oh, right. Shit.” Bakugou runs a hand through his hair in an effort to focus on anything other than how close their bodies are about to be. “Fuck. Let’s just go.”

***

Dinner leads to drinking, which inevitably leads to bad decisions. Bakugou knows this, yet he still has a glass of sake anyway. It’s Todoroki’s damn fault, really. He’s sitting here looking so fucking pretty, what else is Bakugou supposed to do to keep his mind occupied? To make matters worse, the bastard keeps talking in that shitty low, raspy voice of his. Fuck. Bakugou cant even focus on what he’s saying, he’s focusing so intently on not getting hard.

“—told me the paper was actually due two days later. Can you believe it?” Todoroki’s lips twitch into a brief half-smile. Fucking gorgeous asshole. “Ah, I suppose I’ve been going on about myself this whole time… What do you want to talk about?”

“Huh?” Bakugou snaps himself to attention, tipping back the glass of liquid courage. “I’m not really great at small-talk.”

“Me neither.” Todoroki sits back in his chair, pausing to think. “I’m realizing now that, despite being roommates, we don’t really know each other. What if we play a game? Twenty questions.”

“Twenty questions?” Bakugou grumbles, flagging down the waiter for a second glass of sake. “Like the kid’s game?”

“Just to get to know each other.”

“Eh, I guess.” Bakugou traces the edge of the fresh sake cup. Anything to distract him seems like a blessing. “Ask away.”

Todoroki has a lot of questions for someone who’s usually quiet. Bakugou gets lost in the action of drinking, answering, and asking his own questions. The more he learns about Todoroki, the further he spirals into helpless infatuation. He knew he was fucked from the start, but now it’s impossible to reverse it. He’s got three siblings. His birthday is January 11h. His favorite food is soba noodles. All of it doesn’t mean much, but it digs the hole in Bakugou’s chest deeper and deeper, filling it up with more and more of Todoroki. He’s drowning in him, and what’s scary is that he doesn’t even care.

By the time they finish their food, Bakugou has had four glasses of alcohol and knows 28 new things about Todoroki Shouto. He’s also very, very drunk. Too drunk to drive, Todoroki tells him while asking for his keys. Bakugou faintly registers mumbling “Fuck off,” but they somehow make it back to the dorm anyway, so the bastard clearly didn’t listen to him.

The feel of a mattress is the next thing that breaks through the drunken fog. Bakugou sees Todoroki leaning over his bed as he helps him onto it. Before he knows it, he’s straddling him. Shit, he must be really fucked up. He can’t even remember moving. Everything is going so fast.

“You’re heavy,” Todoroki complains, turning his head to the side. “You smell like—“ His voice catches and cracks apart when Bakugou’s knee nudges between his legs. “Hey, what… what are you doing—“

“I like you.”

Blaring sirens go off instantly, but Bakugou’s body is on autopilot. He says it again, then a third time, his hands fisting in Todoroki’s shirt. He can’t control his mouth, which keeps spouting off a garbled confession while his brain screams incoherently. He’s fucking it up. Everything. All the feelings he’s been working so hard to conceal are slipping out. Fuck. He’s so fucking stupid.

But Todoroki isn’t disgusted. He isn’t sneering. He isn’t throwing Bakugou off. He’s blushing. He’s shifting his hips and averting his eyes. His breath is catching. He’s whispering something back. “…you, too.” I think I like you, too. The words could be a product of his imagination, but Bakugou can’t stop the heat spreading through every inch of his body. His mouth drops towards Todoroki’s, somehow managing to pause for permission.

Todoroki’s weight shifts. He looks up for the first time. His lips form a single word that unravels everything. Yes.

The world disintegrates, and once again, Bakugou doesn’t care.

[ocean-butch]

what are ur fave crowley and aziraphale moments? (-a completely anonymous anon)

AJFKAJJDAJ HELLO TOTALLY ANONYMOUS PERSON WHOSE IDENTITY I TOTALLY DO NOT KNOW. FiRsT oF aLL someone who ISNT an anon would know that this is an Oful question to ask me bc i Cannot Ever For The Life Of Me make a choice. bUT, since we obviously dont know each other, i guess im gonna let it slip. so ok im gonna try to make a list but pls do keep in mind that the order is just which ones i remember first, not in an actual order of preference (bc thats just asking too much!!!!!) okay so!

- pARIS WHEN AZIRAPHALE FIRST HEARS CROWLEY’S VOICE AND SMILES LIKE HES THE HAPPIEST HE HAS EVER BEEN AND THEN THEY GO ON A DATE

- OBVIOUSLY the church scene. just,, the entire thing tbh (i love the “anthony j crowley” “anthony?” “what, you dont like it?” “no i didnt say that” and “whats the j stand for?” “...oh just a j really” bit) but obviously the main focus being crowley saving aziraphale’s books like its No Big Deal even tho not even aziraphale remembered them and he did and the last shot with aziraphale’s face and the romantic soundtrack as we literally watch him realize that he’s in love with crowley (as confirmed by the loml michael sheen)

- thE SCENE WITH THE PAINTBALL AND AZIRAPHALE’S FACE WHEN HE WANTS CROWLEY TO MIRACLE THE STAIN OUT AND THEN HIS LIL SMILE AFTER HE DOES IT THAT IS JUST EXPLODING WITH LOVE LIKE LITERALLY MICHAEL HOW DO YOU DO THAT (also: crowley a lil later pinning aziraphale to the wall and aziraphale looking at him Like That)

- omg omg omg okay the bycicle accident scene like i just love that scene so so so much like u have no idea (well you personally do bc i’ve told u about it many times - not that i know who u are ofc) but i just,,, they act so Married okay i cant HANDLE IT (“let there be light” then crowley undoing it With That Face and “Oh Lord Heal This Bike” “i got carried away!”) and just ajfjsjdak theyre so cute in that scene i cherish it in my s o u l

- obviously their first meeting Has to be included! i mean, first of all they’re meeting each other. then suddenly, like 2 minutes later a demon’s already leaning closer to an angel who’s already lifting his wing to protect said demon from the scary unknown rain (also: “i gave it away!” and, with the most incredibly smitten face in the whole wide universe: “you WHAT????”)

- just. the whole scene when theyre drunk in the first ep. the entire thing. all of it. starting from “my point- my point is- dolphins.” until “well i’ll be damned!” “not that bad when you get used to it”

- OH OKAY THE SCENE AT THE BENCH WHEN THEYRE WATCHING WARLOCK JUST DAYS BEFORE HIS 11TH BIRTHDAY AND AZIRAPHALE STARTS DOING HIS LIL MAGIC TRICKS (“it was in your ear!” “no it was in your pocket” “well it was close to your ear” “never anywhere near my ear” and “you can do proper magic! you can make things disappear!” “but thats not as fun!” “fun????? make u disappear”) LIKE AKDSJJSJ AND ITS EVEN BETTER THAT THAT WHOLE MAGIC TRICK PART WAS IMPROVISED LIKE WOW DAVID AND MICHAEL ARE SO FUCKING GOOD OKAY I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH

- OKAY SO ITS HEARTBREAKING BUT THE BANDSTAND SCENE BECAUSE I MEAN HOW COULD I NOT (with his voice breaking: “you cant Leave, crowley” and “we can run away together!” “run away.... together?” and “how long have we been friends? 6000 YEARS!” and “i dont even like you!” “you DO!”) i mean its just,,,,, too much,,,, its so much,,,,,,, pls,,,,,

- in that same angsty note: soho, 1967. do i need to elaborate? who cares imma do it anyway (“but i cant have you risking your life. not even for something dangerous” and the soft unspoken desperation of “dont go unscrewing the cap” and “after everything you’ve said?” and “can i drop you off somewhere?” and “oh, dont look so disappointed. perhaps one day we could, i dont know, go for a picnic. dine at the ritz” and, of course, “anywhere you want to go” “you go too fast for me, crowley”) i mean yeah its heartbreaking but its also, to me, when crowley gets that confirmation that aziraphale loves him back so i cant just not mention it

- when satan is coming and aziraphale just literally picks up his sword and says “DO SOMETHING! OR… or I’ll never talk to you again!” like its the worst thing that could ever happen (it is, for both of them at least) and then obviously crowley just,,, Does The Something bc literally nothing in the entire world, heaven, or hell, will ever take aziraphale away from him

- tHe bUs sCeNE i just ajfjajsj cANT BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED!!!!! LIKE HE LITERALLY JUST. “you can stay at my place… if you’d like” AND AZIRAPHALE GOES WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EVER BE OKAY EVER AGAIN???????? THEYRE IN L O V E

- and lastly because, since the show finished with it, i think its only fair i do too: there were angels dining at the ritz (“i’d like to believe none of this wouldve worked out if you werent, deep down, just a little bit a good person” “and if you werent, deep down, just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing” and “to the world” “to the world!” and, obviously, “and perhaps the recent exertions had had some fallout in the nature of reality because, while they were eating, for the first time ever, a nightingale sang in berkeley square.”)

anyways i think im probably forgetting some of them but sOmEoNE (who is definitely not this anon, of course) has been saying for the past hour and a half that im taking too long to answer this, so. there ya go.

(bonus: the deleted scene where crowley brings aziraphale chocolates and ends up saving him from going back to heaven like a good bf)

[egotisticalee]

angelii-ii replied to your post

“angelii-ii: ok but them talking about pain reminded me of some of my...”

oh I'm down if you want to talk about them dude fdjhgfdjh

you know what? its pain story time gsdfdsfsdfsd ill put em all under a read more. tws for a couple vague mentions of blood, some unsanitary kinda stuff, menstruation, brief mention of surgery (not in any detail) and some detailed descriptions of a whole lotta pain.

okay so in remembering all my pain stories, ive remembered quite a few injuries i got when i was little, that i dont really remember the pain of, i just remember that it was painful, including

falling (with extra momentum) and splitting my gum open on cobblestones

getting smashed in the face with a dodgeball

that time i got a throat infection so bad that breathing hurt and i sat in the school office for several hours before my mum picked me up

falling off monkey bars, landing on my butt and being so winded that i couldn’t speak for ten minutes

being pulled over by my nana’s dog, landing on my shoulder and yet again being winded, this time so bad that i couldn’t breathe in for about ten seconds and for those ten seconds i genuinely thought i might die

that time i got a bladder infection - i remember writhing in pain in the backseat of my mum’s car as she drove me to A&E but i don’t really actually remember the pain

the chronic stomachaches i would have that i recently realised might be connected to my possible lactose intolerance/sensitivity and the fact that i pretty much only drank milk as a child (can you guess how the bladder infection happened)

with doing pole, i constantly get covered in bruises and such and a lot of moves cause some low-level pain but that’s because of the grip - the pain is mostly due to like, the pulling on the skin and its never really more than a few bruises and some tender skin on the thighs (except for that time where i somehow tore the skin of my thigh... underneath the top layer of skin fsdsadsa). the closest i’ve gotten to a proper pole injury is falling out of a duchess onto my arse and being a little more bruised that usual, and the several times in the past couple months that i’ve smashed my head into the pole whilst doing a flying cat at full power. 

and honestly pole has done a lot for my pain threshold. it’s like, i notice the pain is there, but it doesn’t bother me because i’ve felt it so often. and its also because i know that the pain of keeping this grip is way way less than the pain that i will feel if i let go sdfsdfsdfsd i find myself with so many small bruises now that i know aren’t from pole because of the position of them but i cant think where i got them - because they’re probably from bumping into things and that pain is so small and common to me that i immediately forget about it

on the other hand i also have. really bad hips. and sometimes when im just moving, ill catch a nerve and a shot of pain will go through my entire leg and that shit hurts. ive noticed it most commonly happens if i twist when im stepping somewhere but i dont turn the leg thats planted. i was also once balancing on one leg whilst putting a sock on and my hip just. popped out. and i think it immediately went back but i couldnt properly move that leg for ten minutes and i was in a fair bit of pain

my worst pain experiences though... hoo boy. i kinda narrowed them down to three.

im afab and i have periods so of course i gotta deal with cramps every so often, and they can get pretty bad - just like, doubled over, seeking out anything warm to put on my stomach. i’d say about a 5 on the pain scale. but after my gsce exams (exams that uk kids take in year 11 which is the equivalent of sophomore year of high school. they’re the first exams you take that you get an actual qualification from) i didnt have my period for 3 months. and if im late on my period, my cramps get bad. so on the 17th august, a week before my 16th birthday, ya boy was in fucking agony and for some reason in my brain i was also vehemently against taking any painkillers. eventually my nana convinced me to take one of her morphine tablets though and i felt way better hdfgdsff

theres also the time last november when i got an ear infection. earlier that day i had had a massive nosebleed that lasted for about 20 minutes and made me feel super woozy, so along with all the shit that came with dealing with that (i had to go to A&E to get checked out) it was already a pretty rough day. and then that evening my ear started hurting real bad and it just progressively got worse, and i hardly slept that night at all. i was in pure agony by like. 1am and it lasted the entirety of the night, no matter that i took painkillers. the only reprieve i got was at one point, i was watching yt videos and an ad for headspace came on, and i listened along to the meditation thingy it was doing, but of course once the ad was over, the pain was back full force and i could do nothing but cry (so of course i started to get a headache on top of all of it). thankfully once i got to the doctors the next day and got some antibiotics, it cleared up super fast. i was also talking to darkwarf (i wont tag him so he doesnt have to read this fdsffds) and funnily enough our talks that night were what birthed his character teddy.

and then what i think is officially the worst pain ive ever been in, was the first time i got my tailbone infection. me and my mum went on a coach to a roller derby game and at the end of the day my tailbone was aching quite a bit, as if i’d bruised it. i brushed it off as just being the fact that i had sat in shitty coach seats for several hours, then uncomfortable plastic chairs for more hours, then shitty coach seats again. the next day though. ya boi was in agony again. i could not find any way to be comfortable - the closest i could get to comfort was standing. every movement of my hips was pure pain and i couldnt walk properly. the pain was so bad i just could not put one foot in front of the other and i ended up walking by essentially swiveling on each foot and keeping my hips as still as possible.  the worst part was when my mum drove me to the walk in centre - although i knew that i was going to where i would be helped, the car. oh, the car. somethign about that seat - and since this infection has recurred several times, i know it is a feature of all car seats - maybe it was the angle, or whatever, but it was pure agony to sit in. i spent the whole car ride with my arm on the car door and my other hand on the car seat, holding myself up to make it not so bad, but with every bump of the car, pain was fucken. shooting through me. it would take me like 10 full seconds to lower myself into a chair or push myself out of one.  sleeping was awful cause i sleep on my side and i turn quite a few times before i can get to sleep - and of course turning with my hips how they were was incredibly painful. im not very vocal when it comes to pain but this thing had me yelping and everything. plus the antibiotics i had to take were fucking miserable. they tasted absolutely disgusting and i had to have them 4 times a day on an empty stomach (no food 2 hours before or 1 hour after) for 2 week and it was awful. this bastard is also recurring. the last time it got super bad was funnily enough about a week after my ear infection. honestly yall. late nov-dec 2018 was the worst fucken time for my physical health. but actually! in 2020 i am hopefully getting a surgery to stop the infections once and for all! but with the way the NHS is going, honestly who fucking knows. i do know that i will hunt down and kill boris johnson if he stops me getting this surgery.

[calebswitching]

past lives - Mateo/Caleb

When: Monday, August 19

Summary: During the mark-swap event, Mateo discovers that Caleb has been emailing with his ex.

@dommateolopez

Caleb had been exceptionally quiet for a couple of days. It started on Mark's birthday, when Caleb kept thinking about him every time he wrote the date on an assignment, but it was days later now and he was still out of sorts. And he kept itching to email Mark. So he waited until Mateo was busy, and pulled it up on his phone. Unfortunately, he must have misjudged, because Mateo walked in two minutes later, and Caleb quickly tried to hide his phone.

Mateo had noticed the change in Caleb's behavior, but he assumed it stemmed from the anxiety of the mark change, so he didn't push the other man to discuss it. However, when he noticed him hide his phone in a hurry, he frowned, not even thinking before leaning over to look at the screen. "Mark?" he asked, his brows lifting. "I hope that's not the same Mark I'm thinking of."

Caleb blanched and turned off the screen before sliding the phone in his pocket and out of sight.  "....No?" Shit, no one was supposed to see! He would normally just do this in his own room. He swallowed and looked down. Caleb knew he was supposed to be the Dominant here, that was why he was in Mateo's suite, but the moment Mateo had spoken, every ounce of dominance that Caleb had been able to muster vanished. He knew he was in trouble.

He frowned deeper, moving to sit next to Caleb and resting a hand on his shoulder. “That isn’t a very reassuring answer, hermanito,” he said, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

Caleb cringed at the look Mateo gave him and shrank back into the couch.  "It's not a big deal," he protested, but even to his own ears it sounded weak. "... Please don't tell Nick? Or- or Eric, or... Anyone. Please, Sir."

“Hermanito, you know I can’t promise that,” he said quietly. “Nick is my claim, and Eric will be yours. Can you please explain to me why you’re still communicating with him?” he asked, keeping his tone calm and warm.

Caleb scooted back away from Mateo to the edge of the couch and pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around his knees and pressing his face into his forearms.  "They can't know.  Please, Sir.  Please.  They'll be so mad."  It was extremely obvious in this moment that no matter what their marks were supposed to be for the event, at his core Caleb was a sub, and as soon as his composure was broken he reacted to Mateo as a sub reacts to a Dominant.  "It's just emails.  Just.. just the last month or so.  It's not a big deal."

Mateo sighed and let Caleb have his space, but he did reach over to set one hand on his back, rubbing slowly. “You didn’t explain to me why,” he pointed out after a moment. He knew he wasn’t exactly acting as a sub but this clearly called for him to slip back into his normal role.

Caleb grimaced and didn't look up.  He knew what that sigh meant.  He was disappointing.  He was difficult.  He was too much work, and he wasn't cooperating, and he was frustrating for everyone around him.  His stomach  felt like it was twisting into knots.  "I'm sorry," he mumbled.  "I... I don't know.  I just wanted to talk to him."

His hand moved from Caleb’s back to his chin, gently moving the switch’s face so he could look into his eyes. “Hermanito, you understand why that’s concerning to me, don’t you?” Mateo asked quietly. He didn’t want Caleb to feel attacked for this - he just needed him to understand why this was not a very good choice.

When Caleb looked up at Mateo, following his gentle direction, his face displaying raw, unfiltered emotion.  He couldn't keep it away anymore.  He was awash in a sea of shame and guilt and fear and sorrow and desperation.  "It's... it's not like I'm.. dating him.  I'm not going back to Texas.  I'm just... just talking.  I miss him."  He knew how that sounded, and he grimaced, pulling away from Mateo's hand so he could look down at the floor.  God, he was pathetic, wasn't he?

He supposed he could understand why Caleb might miss him. It was all he’d known when it came to relationships. “What do you miss about him?” As much as Mateo wanted to order Caleb to never message that... sorry excuse for a Dom again, he knew a gentler approach would be needed.

Caleb shrugged and rested his chin on his knee.  "He wasn't all bad," he said quietly.  "...He was funny.  When he emails me... They still make me laugh.  And..."  He turned his face away from Mateo so he couldn't see the tears that felt like they were coming.  "He misses me.  He... he hardly ever sends angry messages anymore.  And... he was so happy to hear from me.  Said he misses me and he still- still loves me."  His voice cracked at the end.  He hadn't talked about Mark like this with anyone.  He'd talked about the pain, and why he'd left.  He hadn't talked about why he'd stayed for five years.

His hand came up to the back of Caleb’s neck, fingertips lightly running over the ends of his short hair. “I’m not surprised he misses you. It would be impossible not to miss you,” he murmured. “I know that all sounds wonderful. But I want you to think about something you said. He hardly sends angry messages anymore,” Mateo quoted, pausing to see if Caleb would say anything.

Caleb shook his head.  "I know, I know, it's- God, it's so stupid, I'm such a fucking idiot.  I know he- he mistreated me.  And I still miss him.  How pathetic is that?  I- I used to get so mad at him.  And I miss him anyway, I miss his jokes and- and the stuff we used to talk about, the stupid inside jokes and the way he could be sweet sometimes..."  Caleb covered his face with both hands.  "He wasn't all bad," he insisted.

“You’re not an idiot,” Mateo said firmly, squeezing his neck gently. “You were with him for years. It makes sense that you miss him. But hermanito... you cant keep clinging to what you had. You know now it was unhealthy and not good, and continuing to speak with him might not be the best idea. He doesn’t seem like the type to let go.”

Caleb shook his head again, but not enough to dislodge Mateo's hand.  He didn't want Mateo to stop touching him.   "It's not hurting anyone," he insisted weakly, even though he knew it wasn't a good enough excuse.  He knew he shouldn't be doing it.  Why else would he have hidden it?   "He's been emailing me... since I left.  Once or twice a week.  And I... I didn't say anything back until a few weeks ago, but I just...  I don't know.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I hate that I miss him so much."  He was trembling, trying desperately not to cry in front of Mateo.

“It’s hurting you,” he pointed out quietly. Mateo let out a soft breath, shifting on the couch to be closer to him, his arm sliding more fully around the other man. “Can you explain to me why you answered him the first time?”

Caleb shook his head.  He couldn't explain it.  He didn't know why.  "I just... He... he sounded...  He wasn't angry, but he was upset.  He said he just wanted to know that I was okay.  But... he'd said that before.  Lots of times.  I.. I don't know why it was different.  I just..  Fuck.  Fuck fuck fuck, I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry.  Please don't tell anyone."

“Caleb. You’re not an idiot,” he said again, his tone a bit more firm this time. “I won’t tell anyone. For now. If I find out this is continuing though, I’m not holding my tongue. You have something beautiful growing with Eric and Maverick. They’re your future, hermanito. I’m not saying you’ll be able to forget the feelings you have for him overnight, but they will fade. I promise.”

Caleb shrank into himself at Mateo's harsher tone.  But he listened, and he nodded, because he knew Mateo was right.  He couldn't keep doing this.  He shouldn't.  But it was so hard.  After a second, Caleb turned towards Mateo, but couldn't bring himself to meet the Dom's eyes.  Instead, he looked down at his own hands in his lap.  "Thank you, Sir.  I... I know I don't deserve to ask for anything right now, but... can.. can you hug me?  Please."

He didn’t reply right off - he just pulled Caleb onto his lap, hugging the switch to his chest. “There is nothing I can think of that would make me think ‘oh my brother definitely doesn’t deserve a hug.’ Well. Murder probably. Making me eat coconut. Conspiring with Nick to drive me batty,” he mused, trying to make Caleb laugh.

Under normal circumstances, Caleb would have laughed at that, but right now he barely managed a weak twitch of a smile.  He leaned into Mateo, laying his head on the Dom's shoulder.  "I'm sorry," he whispered.  "Do I....  do I have to be punished, Sir?"

He slid his hands over Caleb’s back slowly, trying to soothe the switch. “No. You don’t have to be punished for this, hermanito. But if I find out you’re still communicating with him that might change,” he warned.

Caleb nodded, accepting Mateo's decision.  He knew that he'd already asked a lot just getting Mateo agree not to say anything to Eric or Nick, so he had been prepared to accept a punishment without arguing, but he relieved he didn't have to.  "I don't understand what it hurts," he said quietly.  "Just talking to him.  I'm not going back to Texas."

“If Nick or Noah had someone in their lives that hurt them like Mark hurt you, would you want them speaking to that person?” he pointed out, keeping one hand stroking over his back. “He might not be able to physically hurt you, but he can mentally. Having him in your life doesn’t seem healthy at all.”

Caleb sighed softly.  "No, Sir.  I wouldn't want them talking him.  ...But...  I don't know what to do, Sir.  I miss him.  I hate that I miss him so much.  I still care about him.  I hate that he's hurting.  He hasn't.... I've found Eric and Mav, he doesn't have anyone."

“It’s not your responsibility to help him move on. Especially not if it takes a toll on your own mental health. The thing to do is not speak to him. Change your email. Don’t even read his messages. He doesn’t deserve to have you in his life, hermanito,” he said, trying to keep his tone under control but god, he needed Caleb to stop communicating with the bastard who had hurt him so badly.

Caleb shook his head and finally pulled back from Mateo's embrace.  He sat back, putting his hands in his lap and looking down at his knees.  "It doesn't feel right, just cutting him out completely.  But I'll do it, Sir.  I'll block his email address.  I just feel bad about it. I think... I think he didn't realize, a lot of the time, how difficult he was.  Even when he punished me, I think he really thought he was being a good Dominant."

He laid his hand on Caleb’s back again lightly. “That’s not your problem to remediate, hermanito. That’s something he needs to realize on his own.”

"Yes, Sir," Caleb said softly.  He had a sudden desire to go back to his room and be alone, but he couldn't do that.  Not until Thursday.  Which reminded him... "Sorry.  I'm not supposed to be calling you Sir.  I'm sorry, I forgot, I wasn't thinking about the event..."

He squeezed the back of Caleb’s neck lightly. “It’s all right, hermanito. You needed to be back in your role, I completely understand. It’s what makes you feel comfortable after all. And I’m here to serve you and be what you need.”

Caleb nodded but didn't look up, but hearing Mateo say he was here to serve him made his stomach clench uncomfortably.  "Can I-"  He cut himself off after a second thought about the question he was going to ask, and shook his head.  He couldn't ask Mateo to let him be submissive for a while, it defeated the purpose of the event if they just flipped roles just because Caleb felt like it.  Mateo had already given him a reprieve.  The desire to go hide in his room was increasing.

He raised his eyebrows at the cut off question. “Finish your question, please,” he requested gently. Mateo wasn’t about to deny his hermanito much - even if they weren’t in this event, he didn’t think he would be able to.

Caleb shook his head.  "I can't.  I'm supposed to be a Dominant until Thursday I can't just... give up.  I can't ask you to let me.  It's not right.  ...You let me be submissive for a little while, that has to be enough."

Every time Caleb did something like this, he hated Mark a little more for making him think he couldn’t ask for what he needed. Mateo gently took Caleb’s chin in his hand, looking into his eyes. “What do you need, Caleb?”

Caleb looked up at Mateo for a moment, then grimaced and shook his head.  "It's nothing, I'm fine."

His grip on Caleb’s chin tightened. “Caleb. I expect you to answer truthfully. So please try that again.”

Caleb winced both at the tighter grip and the sharper tone.  It was like it went right to the core of him.  It didn't matter that he was supposed to be the Dominant and that he didn't want to ask Mateo to mess up the event, because as soon as Mateo used that voice, the Dom voice, Caleb basically rolled over and showed his belly.  "I was going to ask if I could be submissive to you for a while, Sir," he said, looking chagrined.  "I'm sorry, Sir."

There it was. He leaned in to kiss his forehead, his fingers stroking lightly over Caleb’s chin. “Don’t be sorry for asking for what you need. Why don’t you kneel by me for a while, hermanito? Rest your head on my lap?” He suggested.

Caleb looked pained, and curled in on himself almost imperceptibly.  "I'm not supposed to," he protested weakly.  He wanted it so badly.  He wanted to submit and make everything else go away.  He couldn't handle this.  He couldn't handle the world, or Mark, or any of this, and he just wanted the peace and mental quiet that came from submitting.  But it felt like he was cheating.   It felt like he was being bad, and Caleb couldn't handle that either.  "Are.. are you sure it's okay?  To take a break from the event?"

“You’re supposed to be acting as a Dom with a submissive. To take what you need from that submissive and trust they will do their best to fulfill those needs. That’s exactly what’s going to happen,” he assured him, squeezing the back of his neck again, hoping to comfort him.

Caleb frowned, because he really wasn't sure that that applied to him kneeling for Mateo and very clearly submitting, but he nodded.  He didn't have the mental wherewithal to argue right now.  He slid off the couch and onto his knees, and then shuffled until he was facing Mateo, his hand in his lap and his head bowed.  It felt marginally better.

He sighed mentally in relief when Caleb moved to kneel in front of him. Mateo leaned back against the couch, slowly carding his fingers through the switch’s hair and just letting him relax where he was, hoping this would help.

Caleb leaned his head into Mateo's hand, but otherwise stayed perfectly still, his eyes on the floor.  He was so tense, it was obvious from the way he wasn't even fidgeting like he would have done if he was only nervous.  He knew he needed more than this, but he was so reluctant to ask.  He wasn't even sure what would be okay for him to ask for in this situation.  He felt hamstrung and it was killing him.  "Sir?" he said in a small voice after a few minutes, without looking up.  "Is it okay if I..."  He trailed off and swallowed, then tried again.  "I don't know what it's okay for me to ask for."

Mateo felt a little more at ease himself as he just sat there with Caleb kneeling for him. But he leaned up a bit, looking down at the switch. “You can ask me for anything, hermanito,” he assured him.

Caleb grimaced, because that didn't help him narrow it down, and he really didn't feel like a lot of his normal options were on the table.  "I need to make my brain stop and it won't," he said finally.

This time he couldn’t stop the sigh he let out, running his fingers through Caleb’s hair. “Go into the spare room, take off your shirt and kneel by the bed. I’ll be there in a moment,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Caleb nodded without looking up. "Yes, Sir." He stood and headed to the spare room, where he'd been sleeping, and pulled off his shirt and dropped it on his bag. He knelt on the floor by the bed just as he had in the living room, with his hands in his lap and his head bowed.

He waited until Caleb had moved into the spare room before getting up to retrieve a couple of water bottles from the kitchen, then a thin silk rope from his own room. Mateo sat on the bed, resting a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “I’m going to tie a harness onto you, hermanito. Then your arms. From there, we’ll see how you feel. Okay?”

Caleb stayed perfectly still, his posture straight and his head bowed, even as Mateo entered the room. "Yes, Sir," he answered softly. "Thank you, Sir." He felt guilty for asking for this when he wasn't supposed to, but so grateful for Mateo's help.

He sent up a hopeful prayer that Sue hadn’t bugged the rooms somehow before kneeling in front of Caleb so he could begin tying the ropes around him, his work steady and methodical, the line of knots perfectly even across Caleb’s chest.

Caleb watched Mateo for a moment, then just closed his eyes. He didn't need to see what was going on. He just needed to stay still until Mateo moved him. The rope was soft against his skin, it had to be silk. It felt really nice. He hadn't had ropes on him in a while. As it started to wrap around him, containing him, he felt himself starting to relax.

He finished off the chest harness easily, then moved behind the other man to start tying his arms. Mateo took his time, lining up the knots perfectly from shoulder to wrist, making sure they were just tight enough so Caleb wouldn’t be able to ignore them.

Caleb kept his eyes closed as Mateo worked, but it was comforting to hear and feel his movement and know that he was close. He let Mateo move and position his arms without any resistance. The ropes were right, certainly tight enough that Caleb couldn't move his arms at all, but they didn't pinch or constrict any vulnerable places. It wasn't a surprise, Mateo was an experienced Dom, of course he knew what he was doing. By the time Mateo finished, Caleb felt far calmer than he had ten minutes ago. He felt safe and contained, and he knew Mateo would stay with him and take care of him.

He stood once he was finished, moving in front of Caleb and running his fingers through his hair. “Feeling better, hermanito?” He asked softly, hoping the bondage itself would help ease Caleb’s anxiety.

Caleb opened his eyes again when Mateo spoke, looking up at his brother in law.  "Yes, Sir," he said softly.  He leaned forward to rest his forehead on Mateo's thigh.  "May I stay like this a while?  If... if you want to sit on the couch or something, I can move, if you help me up... Please?"

"We can certainly do that. I have a couple episodes of Flip or Flop I need to catch up on," he said with a little laugh. Mateo helped Caleb to his feet, leading him out into the main room. He kept a steadying hand on the switch's back as he got back down onto his knees before settling himself next to him on the couch.

Caleb smiled a little at that, and let himself be helped up.  He could probably stand on his own, but it was easier with Mateo steadying him.  He walked back out to the living room, and then knelt next to the couch, again appreciative of Mateo's guiding hand on his skin.  "Thank you, Sir," he murmured as Mateo sat next to him.  Caleb kept his eyes down on the floor, trying to be small and unobtrusive.  He didn't want to be a bother to Mateo, who hadn't signed up for this.

He leaned over to press a kiss to the top of Caleb's head. "I like taking care of people I love, hermanito. You don't have to thank me," he murmured against his hair before sitting up. Mateo flipped the TV on, his free hand moving to run through the switch's hair as the episode played.

Caleb nodded  and tipped his head into Mateo's hand, but didn't otherwise move.  It helped, being bound, because it meant that he couldn't move from where Mateo wished him to be.  He stayed as still as possible, and that helped too.  It eased the whirling in his mind, quieted things down.  He was good.  There was nothing he should be doing.  He was being good.  Worries and fears still flashed through his mind, thoughts of Mark, the messages he'd received, the one he wanted to send but couldn't.  Thoughts of Mateo and how it must be annoying to be saddled with Caleb for a week, when Caleb couldn't even manage to be a Dominant when he'd explicitly agreed to do it.  Some switch he was.  But at least Caleb wasn't panicking.

[silviasutton1989]

T.T.K Chapter 10 “Resolved”

A/N: Hey guys...so this was supposed to be posted Thursday but life happened. I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. Also I am posting some          mood music to go with this chapter feel free to play it at the beginning or end. I love you guys!

Rating: NSFW  (not  that bad but jut to be sure sexual content and course language)

Word Count: 2200~

Summary: Someone sets Apple wood Manor ablaze...who?

 Catch up: Chapter 1  1.2  2  3  4  5  6  7 8  9  9.2  9.25

A figure walks through the field of the apple orchard. He takes his time carefully dousing each tree with gasoline. He has been working on this for hours determined that his plan is fool proof. And it will be. Before spraying the final tree he plucks the biggest apple.

The camera is steady, and so is he as he sits in the designated spot, a lighter in one hand and what will be the very last Cordonian Ruby in the other. He has chosen each word to say. Making sure they are clear over his mask.

"I do this in initiation of The True Kings. Cordonia, my people King Liam will fail us just as his father has. We must turn to our true refuge. This fruit use to be a symbol of our pride; of the bonds that we hold together. Somewhere that changed and now this is only a rouse. So I employ you citizens join us or..." He flicks the lighter and drops it onto the dampened ground. In seconds the fire spreads, building its own carpet of flames, reaching up to the branches, and then very first tree is engulfed in flames.

He walks behind the camera making sure to focus in on the bright red fruit shriveling like flesh against the fire . He stops the recording walking into the darkness. The scent of the burning apples reminded him of how his mother baked her famous apple pie. He takes a bite of the only apple left. The bitter taste causing him to look at the fruit only to see a worm slithering out of it's core.

Liam had been laying in his bed for at least 20 minutes. He focused on the swirls in the marble ceiling above him. Opting to think on that than whatever in the hell happened last night. 

Eyes.

That's all he could remember from last night. The look in Drake's eyes last night were not of anger they were hurt. He hurt his best friend...his brother. Why?

Because you are just like your father!

Isaac... those were eyes of anger. In all honesty it never even occurred to him to give him the duchy back. Riley needed to be a noble...she NEEDED to be just in case...

Liam's cell phone rings on the nightstand. He turns over hoping the matter on the other end of that line could wait 5 more minutes. He needed to wrap his head around the night.

 Olivia....that look in her eyes when he kissed her....god why did he do that? Was it to compete with Isaac or... No the only explanation for that kiss was too much alcohol....Right?

The tap on the door springs Liam to life. Bastien enters without waiting for permission.

"Your Highness we have an important matter you must get dressed immediately"

"Is everything ok? What happened? Is it my father?"

The look in Bastian's eyes were grim giving Liam chills.

"It's Apple wood Manor, Sire. Everything...is gone"

Olivia had heard the news the same as all the other nobles on the unity tour. She sat in the dining hall--alone as usual--flicking at her fruit plate. Her phone buzzed simultaneously to everyone else's.

"Oh my god!!!" she heard someone say.

"They are going to kill us all!"

"I'm going back home."

The noble's all made a rush out the dining room as Olivia checks her phone. It was the Cordonian Times News Alert. A video pops up. A man in a mask...that mask, stands before the camera. She watches as he drops the lighter and the flames run through the field. She saw the beautiful apples crumble like paper and the fall to the depths of fire below. 

She could feel nothing but her heartbeat. Tears well up into her eyes, Olivia lets them fall since the room is now empty, giving herself exactly 1 minute and 35 seconds to wallow in her emotions, then she wipes them all away. Her heels click against the marble floor in haste, she can fix this, for Cordonia ...for Liam.

The hallway of the noble's sleeping quarters was in utter chaos. Men and women pulling out their half packed luggage calling for their limos to pick them up immediately. 

"Cowards! All of you are a bunch of cowards!" She yells hardly noticing that they all stop at her alarming tone. "You would leave Li-- your king knowing that he would never leave you all. You are pitiful...and you don't deserve him" She scoffs at the guilt stricken crowd, entering her room  letting the sound of her door slam be her final remarks.

Olivia rushes to her closet in search for the best suit determined to look strong when she stands behind her king even if she is the only one behind him. Her thoughts cloud her judgment and doesn't notice the figure in the dark corner of her room.

"You look beautiful, you don't need to change, Cherry."

Olivia turns to see Isaac his hands in his hair. He has drawn the blinds making it difficult to see him but his shadow still reveals his tired body splayed over her chair.

"Rough night?" Not give him time to answer as she searches through her clothes."The True Kings burned down the apple orchards... it's all over the news. Liam's going to have a press conference you need to get dressed. God you smell like you slept on the floor of a bar." And something else even from a distance she can clearly smell something else.

Isaac stands and walks over to her. He takes the hanger out of her hands tossing the suit onto the floor. 

"Do you remeber your 21st birthday? We went to every bar in a 20 mile radius of the university." He chuckles just thinking about that night.

"Yeah we spent the night watching the stars."

"That's not all we did." His hands snake around her waist, like instinct she wraps hers around his neck. His eyes are bloodshot, she wanted to mention the blonde he was with last night but, as his lips meet hers his scent is even stronger and the thought faded. His hands grip her tightly, slowly bunching up the skirt of her dress. He always knew how to make her shiver with just a touch...just a kiss.

"Isaac...we have to go...I have to help...AHH!" He bites down on her neck lifting her by her thighs holding her up against the nearest wall. She melts in his arms. Her fingers tangle through his hair, her mouth permanently agape as he grinds his hips into hers his length, even through their clothes, becomes more and more evident with each thrust.

He was wasting no time, his blazer from the night before lays on top of her pants suit on the floor. His hands runs to the back of her dress quickly unzipping it. She wants him , always has but...That smell. What was that smell? She knew way before she allowed herself to form the words.

Gasoline.

With every bit of strength she has she pushes her first love off of her.

"You did it. Didn't you?"

At first he tries to play it off. To laugh at her accusation. But couldn't form the words to lie and begins to pace the floor, hands tangled in his hair, rage growing with every step he takes.

"He thought it was resolved Liv...RESOLVED! He doesn't deserve that crown. And he doesn't deserve you!"

Like a blow to her chest the words send her to the floor.

He did this. Issac did this. How do I fix this? Why can't I EVER fix him?

But before he could help her she is back on her feet. "Don't you touch me. All this time? All this time! I thought you were going to help me find Boss.. and you just joined ---"

"We've been looking for that damn estate almost 2 months now. Has it even accrued to you that maybe Boss isn't one of the nobles that fled after the attacks...Boss could be one of the ones that is on this tour. Meaning.."

"Meaning we would have no reason to go to their estate." Isaac nods as she finishes his sentence. She needed to sit down, she needed a second to think, to make a plan to figure out what the hell should she do next. But Isaac grabs her hand pulling her from her thoughts.

"Come with me."

"W..what?"

"Come with me. we can find Boss make the bastard pay for taking you then..." He trails off his mouth opens but no sound.

"But what Isaac? Runaway with you... live with you? You are a True King now right? Liam's going to find out you did this and you want me to run off with you leave my country my duchy? For what? For you?"

"Liv."

"Get out of here before I call the gaurds."

He backs away from her, her eyes filed with disgust  as she holds her unzipped dress up to cover her chest. Picking up his jacket from the floor he walks to the door. But before he opens it he has to say it. To say the words that he has never said to her ever, the words he should have told her years ago.

"Olivia, I lov--"

"I hate you Isaac with ever fiber of my being get the hell out!"

The door closes behind him. She wants to cry to scream into a pillow, but she can't. No she gave herself 1 minute and 35 seconds to cry in the dining hall. Now she has to fix this, to support Liam, to forget about Isaac.

(Link)

The ride to Apple wood Manor was the grimiest 20 minute drive of Olivia's life. As if on their way to a funeral no on spoke, even Maxwell sat in stunned silence his mouth covered by his hands. Many of the nobles had already fled back to their homes, only a few remained to help and support their king.

"Come on guys, it's going to be ok. We are almost there and everything looks fine. the damage cant be that bad." Riley holds Drake's hand. Her friends look to her with hopeful eyes. But that hope is dashed only seconds later, when the smell of smoke and burnt wood fills the limo. The beautiful green leaves sway in the wind, soon turns to gray barren branches charred from the fire. 

"Oh my god!"

She believes the words came from Madeline but she can't be sure. Olivia keeps her head tillted toward the window, hoping that no one could see the tears falling from her checks.

The limo stops and everyone climbs out, all but Olivia, she can't move she cant see what Isaac had done...not yet.

Riley extends her hand out to her friend. "come on Olivia. We can do this together." 

"I just...I just need a moment. Go. The press are here to see you. Give them hell!" 

Olivia listens from the car. Liam and Riley give an inspiring speech one that the crowd and press rally around. Leaving the car, she makes her way to the front of the crowd and watches the two plant the first sapling.

With the last bit of dirt placed over the roots Riley looks into the crowd. Cameras flashing in her face her friends and the citizens all looking to her for encouragement..for happiness. All but two. There were two people focused on each other as they conversed: Drake and Kiara

"This first tree symbolizes.... Cordonia's commitment to keeping the doctor away!" Riley can see Maxwell snicker at the joke but no one else makes a sound.

"What did she just say?" a citizen asks

"She just made a joke on the worst day of our lives!" another cries.

"Do you think this is a joke? Our children starving amuses you?" another yells

"No I um...I was just trying to lighten the mood a little."

"Lighten the...who the hell do you think you are lady? This is our lively hood!"

"I'm sure Duchess Riley only meant to..." Liam tries to intercede but the crowd was restless. 

She didn't know what spured her to move. But there she was snatching the shovel out of Riley's hand taking the microphone from Liam confronting the agitated crowd.

"I know you are angry, we are too. I stand here before you vowing that we will have vengeance to the vermin who dared to destroy our rubies!"

"Yeah!" the crowd shouts, their cheers strengthen her nerves. She plants her feet firmly into the ground her voice grows more clear and resilient.

"People of Cordonia I promise you that this failed attempt to hurt us will only strengthen our unity. Lythikos has food and supplies currently in route and able bodies to help replant every sapling. You will not grow hungry, your family and lively hood will not suffer. Not today, not with your king here to defend you from those terrorists. This matter will be resolved...with interest!"

"All Hail King Liam! God save the King!" The crowd cheers. Olivia finally exhales. Liam thinking that her speech is over reaches for the microphone but she pulls back from him

"And one more thing, to the man---men that did this. You think you can fear my people into joining with you? Well know this you are dead wrong. Emphasis on dead! You can run You can hide but you messed with the wrong country. And we ARE coming for you! And may God have mercy on your souls"

The crowd erupts in cheers.

The press take photos of the two: Liam and Olivia. Olivia lifts the shovel into the air as Liam takes her other hand, looking at the woman beside him in a whole new light.

Let me know what you guys think in the comments below!!

Tag List: Ok so I do not want to upset anyone so I’m going to put this with the tags every time. If you want to be on the tag list permanently (this one is randomly selected with some permanent in as well)  let me know. If you DO NOT want to be tagged ever just send me a message I will not be upset.

@walkerismychoice@darley1101@speedyoperarascalparty@mfackenthal @jadedpixiescribbles@boneandfur @andy-loves-corgis   @blackcatkita @missevabean@snyggflicka@stopforamoment @agent-zephyrkah @endlessly-searching-for-you  @indiacater @choiceswreckedme @tmarie82@liam-rhys @viktoriapetit@alicars @jlouise88 @mrsdrakewalkerblog@walkerisbae@butindeed @greyeyedsmile14 @barbaravalentino @mymandrake @client327 @confessionsofabrokegirl

[the-fiction-witch]

Remember Me P3

REAL LIFE: COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SMUT + DARKNESS

REQUESTED:

isabellabrodar: Definitely part 3!!! I am so confused!!

unlikelysunny: Please

lauragarfitt: Please do part 3

Imyourmessyouremycure: Part 3, it can’t end like this

Y/N POV:

I woke, It was still dark, the sun only just rising above the trees in the park outside the window, 

“I told you to stop coming around here”

“Let me see her”

“No, I told you before get out!”

“Let me see her Please, she’s all I have please just let me see her”

“she’s safe here with me” 

“No she is not! shes safe at home, with me” 

“what is all this? why does it? your... You fucking BASTARD!”

“hey calm the fuck down!”

“YOU BASTARD! Let me see her let me see my wife!”

“shes not your wife anymore! shes forgotten who you are”

“Her condition...gives you no right to take advantage off her!”

“Im not taking advantage of her!”

“Ohh your not! look at everything you’ve done to her, she’s living in a dream a  memory your ticking her into believing!” 

“Im not tricking her into anything! that fact she choose to stay with me means m not lieing to her Im not tricking her”

“BECAUSE YOUR KEEPING HER A FUCKING PRISONER!......she needs to come home, just please let me see her, maybe she’ll remember me, she needs to come home thomas, to be with her family, to be with me, to be on her Real medication, you cant keep her like this”

“Why not! I love her more then you ever did! I care for her Im here when she needs me”

“I made a mistake that night, that doesn't give you the right to drug my wife off her head so much she forgets who she even is” 

“I was the one who was there...I was the one sat by her bed for months! I was there when she almost died night after fucking night! I was there when she woke up! and where the hell where you! off with that bitch of a mistress of yours, when she woke up she saw me, and knew I was the one taking care of her, that door is always unlocked from the inside, if she wants out, she can go whenever she wants”

“but she wont! not with you drugging her up every night and day! and tricking her brain, look at this, all of it, your doing it to force her into believing your her husband and you’ve always been with her, drugging her off her face and sleeping with her!”

“I am not!”

“Oh yeah! explain the condoms then! your obviously having sex with her! in her condition! she doesn't even know who she is half the time let alone who you are! your just drugging her up and raping her!”

“I am not!, I’ve never done anything to her that she hasnt let me do”

“was she awake?....answer the fucking question thomas!”

“None of your fucking business what i do with my Wife!”

“Your wife! you stole her-”

“I didnt steal anything!”

“No...your right you didnt steal her, you kidnapped her, and your keeping her a slave to your own ends, you let her come home else Im getting the police involved”

I then heard a slam who where those people that where arguing? who was this girl they where so angry about? was ? was that me? thomas? was that my thomas? and who was the other man? the one sending me messages? was he the man who kept coming to the door? I laid back down in bed and pretended to be asleep as a door opened and i felt a hand soothing me 

“Hey, your not up yet are you sweetheart?...humm good, didnt want you to hear any of that” and I felt a little kiss on my cheek “umm sleepy girl today, thats good, get your rest little girl, daddy just needs a little fun before he gets back to sleep, okay” it seemed like thomas’ voice I think i wasn't to sure without seeing his face as hands moved my body a little hands ghosting my skin “humm better not be leaving any of these lying around...im sure we can go without, if I knock you up maybe we can pretend it was from before your little...accident” He smirks before I felt something enter my pussy fingers it hurt a little as something was being placed it quickly left and something else pushed inside “Uhh Oh yeah.... umm its tighter tonight sweetheart... I like it” he smirked as he slowly but surely fucked me it wasnt long until he was finished inside me “Ummm good girl, humm such sweet forbidden fruit, i cant help myself” He smirked kissing the exterior of my pussy till he laid down in bed with me “your my wife, and I love you very very much sweetheart, no need to fear he’ll give up soon enough, then it will be just you and me my love” he smirked kissing me before he turned away to sleep ...

I woke to the soft sounds of food cooking in the kitchen so I got up slipping on  my dressing gown and slippers and going out into the flat all the same all memories I recall a little bit but cant really place 

“aww good morning sweetheart” thomas smiled at me coming over and giving me a tight cuddle “you alright?” he asks and I just nod “good” he smiled kissing me “dont you remember what today is sweetheart?” he asks

“No?” I answer very puzzled

“aww really? you dont remember?” he asked and i just hake my head “its your birthday silly” he laughed giving me a little kiss “breakfast is cooking go on go have fun with your presents” he told me so I smiled giving him a little kiss before i sat at the sofa the table had a lot of little things on, dresses, and jewelry all manner of lovely things once I had opened them all I turned on the tv and watched a little of the news 

“and returning to our top story this Thursday morning, Police are now live issuing a statement on the accident” the reporter explained

“We beg for anyone to come forward with information on her whereabouts, after much investigation of the crime scene it was found she did not escape alone, nurses are still baffled by her disappearance her husband William aster is still leading the search with police to find her, the facts of the case are simple, after visiting a coffee shop with an unknown man on oxford street she processed outside onto the road where she was stuck by a on cumming bus, after being admitted to hospital she staied in a drug induced coma for six weeks after awakening the room was broken up and she disappeared, Police are looking for a man they believe may have broken her out of hospital, and some theorize it may be the same man she met the day of the accident, we urge anyone with knollegge of him or Mrs-” she explained but the tv was shut off

“Thomas! I was watching that!” I complain

“come on breakfast” He told me 

“yay!” i giggle running and hugging him “Umm  I love you” i giggle

“aww sweetheart, I love you too” he smiled giving me a little kiss “Come on breakfast” he told me so i happily sat down to breakfast eating it fairly fast “so...what does my sweetheart want to get up to today?” He asks me

“Maybe we could go out? for dinner or something” I suggest

“Maybe, might be a bit pricey you know what restaurants down here are like, how about a big fast food run then we go down the lake okay?” he suggests

“yay! can we go swimming?” I ask

“If you like to” he shrugs so I happily get up going and backing a bag, a nice swimsuit come clean clothes a towel, some a little blanket for us to sit on and got changed into my nice little dress 

“Thomas?” i ask him

“yeah ?” he asks from his bath

“wheres my phone?” i ask him

“Your what?” he asks very worried I heard him get out and he came around into our room in just a towel 

“My phone, I see yours? wheres mine?” I ask him

“Sweetheart it got broken in the accident remember” he told me

“Ohh...why didnt I get a new one?” I ask

“because, phones are expensive honey, in a few weeks okay, I’ll get you a new one I promise” He told me giving me a kiss 

“Okay” i smile hugging him tightly “Come on I wanna go down the lake” I giggle

“Okay okay, let me get some pants on sweetheart” He laughs 

KNOCK KNOCK!

“You stay here” He told me as he put some clothes on and went out into the flat half shutting the bedroom door i head the door open but it was silent I went outside and Thomas was gone I began to panic where is he? where did he go? as the door was forced open and a scruffy man was stood there it wasn't Thomas is was some strange man

“Oh thank god Darling” He smiled trying to hold me but I screamed and pushed him away “Darling? dont you remember me?” he asked

“THOMAS! I scream

“I told you to get out of my house!” Thomas shouted pulling the man away from me “what the hell do you think your doing!” he shouted holding me close to him as i cried in fear

“Maggie? darling please why cant you remember me?” this man asked

“Will I told you to get out!” Thomas told him

“Fine, but I know shes here and within the hour the police will too” the man told him before leaving

“We have to go” Thomas told me

“what?” i ask

“we have to go!” he answered rushing to our bedroom and throwing everything he could into suitcases

“Thomas whats going on?” I ask him

“Please y/n listen to me, that man is trying to hurt you, if you just trust me and do as I say i promise nothing bad will happen to you again” he told me

“again?” I ask

“Y/n please, just trust me” he pleaded

Part 4?

[pitubea1910]

“What I hate the most...”

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Featuring: the Avengers

Words: 2618

Warning: angst, fights, alcohol and swearing.

Tags: @vashanatasha

Request: requested by Anonymous:

“Can i pls request a steve rogers/avenger!reader where he fell out of love with reader as he currently is in love with someone else so he broke up with her? the avengers had no idea what to do, cant exactly side with one of u as ur both avengers. Upset n drunk, during one of the stark party, reader make a scene as she watch him dancing with the other girl. Left afterward, not in her right mind, one of the avengers goes after her to take care of her. Which one is up to u. Thanks.”

Notes: so it had been ages since I wrote something with the Avengers and I still have some requests about them to do so here it goes! I want to say sorry for taking so long really but I hope you like it!

MASTERLIST

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Your relationship seemed perfect. You loved Steve and he acted like he loved you. Apparently, that was it. An act. You didn’t even know how this happened. One day you were planning your next holidays and the next one he was breaking up with you claiming he loved someone else.

“Are you serious?” You asked him as he broke the news to you.

“I’m really sorry (Y/N), I never meant to hurt you, I swear. It just…happened” he said looking down at you with a worried look on his face.

“Have you…been with her?” You asked in a whisper.

He didn’t say anything else. Instead, he looked down, not being able to look into your eyes any longer, feeling guilty for what he had done. But he couldn’t keep on doing this. He knew it would break your heart, which you didn’t deserve, but you didn’t deserve to be cheated on either. So he had to be honest with you and with himself.

“You have” you laughed sadly and looked away, tears coming up to your eyes.

“I’m sorry” he said again.

“If it wasn’t because of your fucking serum I swear I would take your eyes off and kill you Steve” you said looking at him with cold eyes, like you had never looked at him before. “I would throw you out of the window, down the tower and I wouldn’t even be sorry for your death” you added.

You knew those were empty words. It didn’t matter how much he hurt you, you knew you would never be able to do such things to him. You had been training by Natasha so you knew you could be lethal but not to him. Not to Steve Rogers, not even after he broke your heart.

“(Y/N)…” he said taking a step towards you but you took another one back.

“Don’t” you said. “Don’t ever say my name again, Rogers. Don’t ever look at me or…” you sighed and looked down. “I hate you” you whispered before turning around to leave the room.

You didn’t expect to see Tony and Natasha right there, listening to every word you said but you didn’t even care. You walked by their side and went to your room, locking it before punching the wall as hard as you could until your hand hurt.

“That was harsh” Tony told Steve downstairs.

“It had to be done” Steve said taking a seat on the couch with his head in his hands. “I couldn’t keep on lying to her. She didn’t deserve it” he added.

“No, she didn’t” Natasha said with a sigh. “But it’s done. There’s nothing you can do now”, she added.

“I know” Steve gulped.

The first few days after the break up you barely left the room. You just did it to go to the meetings and to take care of the Avengers stuff that you had to do, but once you were finished, you locked yourself in your room. The team tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t talk to anyone so they decided to give you time to heal.

Eventually, you finally came out of your room and joined the team daily activities. The team was happy to see you talking and eating like a normal person again but everything changed when you and Steve crossed paths. He tried to talk to you but all you did was replying with sarcasm or mean remarks. Nobody expected you to be over what happened but your anger wasn’t expected either.

“What do we do?” Wanda asked in a meeting. You were supposed to go to France to help the government with some attacks that had been going on but you didn’t know how to proceed.

“We need someone on the inside to make them believe we can be trusted and they let us now their intentions” Steve said.

“Sounds good” Tony said nodding. “A mole is always helpful but who’s going to do it? These guys are dangerous” he added.

“Rogers should do it. He’s good going behind people back” you said. Steve looked at you as the awkward silent appeared.  

“Will you stop?” He said, obviously having enough of your daily comments.

“Should I?” You said looking at him.

“Yes, you should be professional” he replied.

“Sorry, Mr Perfect, I didn’t mean to take your place and hurt your feelings” you said sarcastic.

Everyone else was quiet, knowing they couldn’t exactly side with any one of you since it would be even worse for the situation. It was something you two had to solve by yourselves.

“Steve can’t do it. His face is too known” Bruce finally said to end the fight before it heated up. “What about Wanda?” He asked.

“I can do it” she shrugged.

“It’s settled then” Tony smiled.

“Good” you said getting up and leaving the room.

The mission was successful as usual even though the communication was a bit harder this time. By the time you got to New York again things didn’t change, not even a bit. The fights between you and Steve were stronger and stronger every day. Eventually, the situation calmed down. You looked like you were forgetting about everything or at least letting it go which everyone in the team thanked you for. Still, you wouldn’t even look at Steve.

“Team!” Tony said coming into the living room. “Party tonight!”

“What?” Peter asked.

“What for?” Clint asked.

“My birthday of course” Tony smirked.

“Your birthday was two months ago” You laughed. “And the party was huge. I think Clint is still hangover about it” you smirked.

“Shut up” Clint laughed.

“So what? I want to celebrate again” Tony shrugged.

“Are you just looking for an excuse to throw a party?” Bruce asked raining an eyebrow.

“Maybe” he shrugged. “You’re all invited of course and you can bring any friends you want” he added before leaving the room. Just Tony.

None of you refused to go. It had been ages since you had a night of fun and you all needed the distraction, the music and the booze. So at 6 p.m. Natasha, Wanda and you locked yourselves in Wanda’s room to get ready. None of you were seeing anyone so you decided you would be sexiest chicks in the room which, thanks to Nat’s outfits, it was an easy task.

“Isn’t it too slutty?” Wanda asked looking in the mirror.

“Sweetie, it’s been months since the last time you got laid. You need slutty” Natasha teased her making you laugh.

“Fuck you” Wanda laughed as well.

Even though you had started to get ready with plenty of time, you still were late to the party as usual but you didn’t care. No one would notice. The moment you stepped into the party you smiled looking around. Tony did know how to throw a party. Immediately, the three of you headed towards the bar to order some drinks and shots.

“Bucky you came!” You exclaimed surprise. The Winter Solder was still adjusting to this new life so he didn’t came to many parties.

“It was about time” he shrugged with a small smile.

“I’m glad you came” you said kissing his cheek.

You had always liked this guy. He was nice even when he didn’t talk much. You couldn’t blame him about it after the hell he had gone through but there he was, getting better day by day. On the other hand, it surprised you not to see Steve. He barely left his friend’s side, being the protector he was, so it surprised you that he wasn’t around.

“(Y/N)!” Natasha called your name. When you looked at her, you saw she was handing you a shot so you took it and poured down your throat. “Atta girl” she laughed.

“I needed that” you laughed as well.

The party went on and on for hours and Steve was still nowhere to be seen which it kind of worried you. Would he be okay? Your doubts disappeared when you were walking around the room and saw him walking down from his room with a blond girl hanging on his arm. Shannon.

He looked around just then and your eyes met his. It was her. You didn’t know until now but it was crystal clear. She was the girl that made your life miserable. With a gulp, you turned around and went to the bar once again. There, you saw Tony with a shot on his hand. Before he could drink, you took it from his hand and poured it down your throat before ordering another one.

“Wow, slow down” Tony laughed but you didn’t listen. In less than a minute you had two more shots. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Tony asked now worried.

“Nothing” you snapped as you ordered another one.

“(Y/N) slow down” Tony said taking the shot from your hand.

“Stark if you don’t give me that I swear I’ll break your arm here and now” you threatened him. He frowned looking at you before sighing and giving it back, watching you drinking it. “I saw her” you finally said. “Steve’s new girlfriend” you added.

“He brought her?” Tony asked and you nodded. “Bastard…” Tony mumbled looking around. It didn’t surprise him but he still couldn’t believe Steve would do that. When he looked back at you, you had another shot in your hand. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“You’re no one to tell me to stop, playboy” you snapped before ordering a drink and walking away with it. Tony watched you as he sighed worried.

“This is not good” he sighed.

You had never drank so much in one night but you couldn’t stop. It hurt so much seeing him dancing with her. You really thought you were over him? Stupid, you told yourself as you ordered what could be your 8th drink of the night. You knew you were completely drunk, you couldn’t even see properly, everything was a blur and the room was spinning. So what?

As you ordered another one, you looked to your side just to see Steve and that girl talking a few feet away from you. It had to be a joke.

“Really?” You said loud enough for them to hear you. Both of them, turned to look at you.

“Fuck…” Steve mouthed as he saw how drunk you were. “What are you doing?” He asked coming closer to you to stop you from drinking.

“No. What are you doing?” You asked pocking his chest with your finger. “Bringing her here? How you dare?” You frowned.

“You’re drunk” he sighed.

“Like you cared” you laughed.

“I do” he frowned.

“You don’t!” You snapped. “You never did! Otherwise you wouldn’t have cheated on me with that Barbie! All those nights saying how much you loved me… shame of you!” You screamed. Many people was now looking at the scene but you weren’t aware of it. “You’re a liar Steve Rogers. People may see you as a hero but you’re a bastard with no respect for others. Good luck for you Blondie!” You told Shannon. “I hate you Steve” you told him. “And you know what I hate the most? That I still love you” you said before walking away from him.

Everyone had watched the scene but no one said anything. The party just went on except for you. All you did was go to your room, falling a couple of times on the stairs but you finally managed to get to your floor, not even noticing your cheeks were full of tears. You were so focused on getting to your room that you didn’t even notice Bucky following you.

“Hey” he said when you leaned against a wall, not being able to walk anymore.

“Oh! The Winter Soldier” you drunkenly smiled at him. “Always a pleasure” you winked.

“You’re wasted” he said. Before you could say anything, he wrapped his arm under your legs and picked you up, carrying you to your room. “Why did you do this?” He asked when he placed you in your bed.

“Because I’m pathetic” you sadly laughed before you broke into tears. “Because he came with her, he cheated on me and he’s been happy ever since while I’ve been miserable and now he dares to come here and…” you closed your eyes and shook your head which was an awful idea. Everything was spinning. “I need to throw up” you mumbled.

“You need a cold shower” Bucky said picking you up again and quickly going to the bathroom. When he put you on the floor to start the shower, you leaned down on the toilet and started throwing up. “Shit!” He exclaimed, leaning down by your side, putting your hair away and rubbing your back. “It’s okay” he whispered.

“It’s not” you whispered shaking your head.

Bucky didn’t really know what to say to make you feel better. Feelings weren’t his thing so he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. When you had calmed down a little, you got up and let him help you out of the dress you were wearing.

“I’ll be outside, call my name if you need anything alright?” He said. You nodded and walked into the shower as he left the bathroom.

Bucky sat on the bed, looking at the bathroom door with a worried expression. He had been watching you the whole night, drink after drink, seeing you get wasted since the moment you saw Steve with Shannon. How could Steve bring her? Yes, Shannon was really nice but you weren’t ready for the image of the two of them together. When Bucky saw you talking to him, he knew it wasn’t going to end well so when he saw you walking up the stairs he didn’t hesitate to follow, leaving you alone not being an option.

After fifteen minutes the bathroom door opened and you came out, looking sad and tired, with puffy eyes and sadness in your eyes. It broke his heart. You had always been so nice to him since he arrived, even when Tony didn’t even want to look at him you had been there for him, supporting him all the time. It made him want to protect you, make you happy, especially after Steve broke your heart.

He looked at you while you put your pj on and sat on the bed next to him, with a lost expression on your face. Finally, you sighed and looked at Bucky.

“I’m pathetic right?” You asked, much sober now.

“No” he said immediately, grabbing your hand. “You’re hurt. That’s all” he shrugged. “I guess it will take time for you to heal” he added rubbing your hand.

“When I saw them…” you shook your head looking down.

“He shouldn’t have brought her” Bucky said. “Everyone knows you’re still not over him. It was disrespectful” he added. You frowned a little and looked at him.

“Isn’t he your best friend?” You asked.

“He is” Bucky shrugged. “That doesn’t mean I have to agree with him on everything. Being Captain America doesn’t make him perfect, you know?” You smiled a little and looked down at your hands together.

“Thank you Bucks” you finally said. He shrugged again with a small smile.

“It’s okay, I just want you to be okay” he said looking at you.

You looked at him into the eyes to find a warmth you hadn’t seen in a long time. It made you feel protected, like home, good. Maybe you weren’t happy at the moment, you actually had never felt worse, but somehow you knew that you would be able to feel happy again as long as Bucky was there.