#i cant stop help me

[xbeih]

[flufallo]

I can't stop making these now

Niko: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

Crystal : I want a bf.

Crystal : Legend says that when you can’t sleep, it means you’re awake in someone else’s dreams.

Crystal : When I find out who you are, I’m going to punch you in the face.

Cat king: Hello friends!

The Squad:

Cat king: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling

Crystal : If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it

Edwin: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

Cat king: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!

Esther: Ok, Cat king, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1916?

Cat king: edwin

Esther: ...You're ready.

(I edited this one obvs)

Cat king, when Charles walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.

Cat king: *accidentally smacks Edwin in the face with the baking sheet*

Cat king: Never gonna make you cry!

Monty: Never gonna say goodbye!

Cat king: Never gonna tell a lie—

Crystal : I will hurt you.

Edwin: You spent all our money on THIS??

Charles, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

Edwin: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-

Cat king: *blushes* What are your thoughts?

Edwin: The fourth sentence-

Cat king: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I-

Edwin: It’s “you’re” not “your”.

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Crystal : No.

Niko: Nice rock.

Charles: Thanks, Jenny gave it to me.

Jenny: I threw it at you!

Charles: Aren't they the sweetest?

Monty: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Charles: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Jenny: I got distracted halfway through.

Crystal : Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Cat king: As your best friend—

Edwin: Charles is my best friend.

Cat king, holding a knife: As your best friend—

Cat king: *watching their house burn down*

Cat king:

Cat king: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

Charles: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother.

Monty: Mmm, we aren't really that close.

Charles: Oh, good.

Monty: What did you get Niko for their birthday?

Charles: I got them a kitten.

Monty: Really? Me too!

Crystal : I also got them a cat.

Edwin: Looks like we had the same idea.

Charles: Cat king, please tell me you didn't get Niko a cat as well!

Cat king: ...what do you think?

*later*

Niko, in their apartment surrounded by cats and kittens: This is the best birthday ever!

Edwin, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Crystal, pulling out an Uno card: +4.

Charles, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Niko, trembling: What are we playing?!

Edwin: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Monty: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Edwin: But you’re always acting stupid?

Monty: ...

Monty: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Niko: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.

Crystal : But are you shuffling?

Niko: Everyday.

Edwin: What language are you two speaking??

Cat king, holding a toy lightsaber: I’m Darth Vader!

Edwin: I’m done with everyone’s bullshit.

Monty: Niko, what are you doing?

Niko: *shaking a cat shaped piggy bank* I’m just trying to figure out how much change I have inside.

Monty: You could always take it out and count it.

Niko: Where’s the fun in that?

Cat king: Hey.

Edwin: Hey?

Cat king: I can't sleep. :/

Edwin: I can. Goodnight.

Niko: I can’t believe my birth certificate says F...

Niko: ...How did I fail being born?

Niko: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

Charles: Edwin, I got suspended from school…

Edwin: WHAT?!?! What did you do?

Charles: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler, and he said “there is an idiot at the end of this ruler”.

Edwin: And…?

Charles: I asked which end…

Edwin, unable to contain their laughter: Okay, you just made my day.

Charles, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

Crystal : *trying to get five seconds of sleep*

Charles, poking Crystal ’s arm: Crystal Crystal . Crystal . Crystal .

Crystal : WHAT?

Charles: …We’re out of Capri Suns—

Edwin, to Charles: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Charles: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Edwin: You just told me you're pregnant.

Niko : Congratulations Charles, you're glowing!

Cat king: I just ended a five year relationship.

Niko: Oh no, are you okay?

Cat king: It's okay, it wasn't mine.

Niko : I was voted “friendliest classmate” in high school.

Charles: I was voted “most likely to become a clown”…

Cat king : You think that’s bad? HA! I was voted “most likely to get rabies”!

Edwin, playing a video game: How do I play?

*Edwin has drawn first blood!*

*Edwin is on a killing spree!*

*Edwin is on a rampage!*

*Edwin is unstoppable!*

*Edwin is dominating!*

*Edwin is godlike!*

Edwin: Don’t worry guys, I figured it out.

[glitchinginhyperfixis]

BACKGROUND-CHARACTER-341 IS GENUINELY ONE THE BEST PEOPLE THEY’RE SO SWEET AND COOL AND AMAZING REBLOG IF YOU AGREE

[ssluggishh]

me, anytime something even slightly harms me: ooh yaoi

[disenchanted2006]

Hughie and Butcher in THE BOYS

[sapphofrog]

rendering & lighting practice with 13 ^_^

[lunaarcana1]

Saint Alessa, Our Mother of Rebirth.

[relaxxattack]

homestuck in the year 3000

[eddiethebrave]

secret admirer part four

1,321 words

one two three

Eddie the hobbit, huh? i haven’t read that one (which isn’t saying much cause i've only read books from class) it’s probably good i’d love to hear you talk about it i’d love to hear you talk about anything, though, so maybe i’m biased p.s. i know it makes me sound like an inconsiderate asshole and maybe i am but i’m only now realizing that i don't know if you want me to stop with these i’m sorry if you do promise i’ll figure out a way to ask -H

Eddie finding a way to reply to him about the book gives Steve peace of mind that he doesn’t want him to stop with the notes, but he still feels sort of weird about it. His thoughts go round and round all day and by the time the dismissal bell rings, he has a bit of a headache. 

After checking that he has enough cash on him, Steve goes out to the picnic table behind the school where Mark Jones sells pot most days. 

He makes his way into the clearing only to see someone who is certainly not Mark Jones perched on top of the table. 

Steve stops dead in his tracks.

Eddie grins sharply and holds his arms out wide. “What have I done to be blessed with his highness’ presence?”

Steve wants to talk to him. Wants to tell him to just call him Steve, wants to ask about his book, but all that comes out of his mouth is, “What are you doing here?”

Eddie’s arms drop to his sides and he raises his eyebrows in question.

“Where’s Jones?” Steve clarifies, taking slow steps forward.

“Ah, I see. You’re here for my wares.” Eddie abruptly jumps from his seat and stretches with a groan that has Steve’s cheeks heating up. Eddie meanders over to the other side of the table before looking back at Steve and tilting his head in amusement. “Unfortunately, Mark has been let go. He had a nasty pilfering habit.” 

Whatever the fuck that means.

Steve can’t help the small smile that grows on his face, but he lifts his hand up to wipe it off inconspicuously. He’s never talked to Eddie before. 

Eddie drops onto the bench and gestures for Steve to sit across from him. As he does, Eddie opens his lunchbox and begins to rifle through it. Steve lets his eyes trail to Eddie’s hands while his focus is elsewhere. This close, Steve can finally see what shape the chunky silver ring is. A skull with fangs. Of course, it’s a skull. He should’ve known. 

Steve thinks about complimenting it but decides it would only make Eddie suspicious and he doesn’t wanna be found out (yet, he thinks then immediately backtracks. He can’t let anyone know that he’s writing love notes to a boy. Especially not the boy himself. Who knows how Eddie would react. Even though Steve hasn’t been trying to come off as a girl through the notes, and even though no one could possibly mistake his chicken scratch penmanship for that of a girl’s, still. No one can know).

“So.” Eddie claps his hands and Steve’s eyes snap to his face. “What’ll it be, my liege?”

Steve clears his throat. “Uh, I usually just go for a couple of pre-rolls.”

“Mhm, great choice. Prepared these myself.” Eddie swipes a baggie with two in it and holds it out. When Steve goes to grab it, though, Eddie pulls it out of his reach. “Ah ah ah, Harrington, no freebies.”

Steve rolls his eyes and huffs a laugh. “Yeah, alright, man.” He pulls his wallet out and hands him what he usually pays.

Eddie takes the money and counts it leisurely. “You’re five bucks short.”

Steve stares at him deadpan. 

“Birthday fee,” Eddie offers in explanation, shrugging like 'what can you do?’ “Can’t a guy make some extra change for his special day?” Eddie bats his eyelashes.

This boy is trying to kill him. Steve looks heavenward for strength. He counts down from five in his head and only then does he risk looking back at Eddie. “It’s your birthday?”

Eddie grins. “Yup,” he says, popping the p, “Tomorrow. The big one eight.”

Steve stands and tosses a ten onto the table. Eddie passes him the baggie and starts shuffling through his lunchbox. He pulls out a five and holds it out.

Steve waves him off and Eddie peers up at him suspiciously before shrugging and returning the bill to his stash. Steve turns on his heel and begins his journey back to the parking lot. “Happy birthday to me, I guess,” Eddie mutters and Steve smiles to himself. He shoves his hands in his pockets and pivots to walk backwards. 

“Happy birthday, Munson,” he calls and Eddie’s head snaps up.

Steve grins before turning back around and breaking into a jog. 

It’s not often that Steve finds himself in the thrift store. Not ever, actually, but with all that Eddie complains about capitalism and The Man (who the fuck is the man) and whatnot, he supposes this is his best bet. 

Steve wanders around, not even really knowing what he’s looking for. He’s idly skimming over the women’s jewelry section when he finds it. A silver ring with a blackish blueish stone in the center. It’s not that far off from the one Eddie already has, is it?

Steve tries it on and it’s a bit snug. He’ll admit that he spent far too much time earlier looking at Eddie’s hands and he thinks they were about the same size as his own, if not a bit thinner. 

It’s perfect. 

…He hopes it’s perfect. 

Eddie heard through the grapevine today’s someone’s b-day i left a gift for you under the dealer’s table p.s. it didn’t fit in the locker p.s.s sorry if this is weird but you’ll understand once you see it -H

He jogs to plant the present in its place. He’d rolled the second note up and slipped the ring onto it. It kinda looks like a scroll.

happy birthday eddie i don’t know if you want me to keep writing or if you think it’s weird or what if you want me to stop just don’t wear the ring and i’ll back off i hope you have a good day and that you like the ring <3 p.s. you’re older than me now

Steve is so anxious that he feels nauseous by the time he makes his way back to practice and it must show because coach tells him to take the bench. Tommy shoots him a worried glance but Steve just waves him off.  

By lunchtime, Steve doesn’t think he can look. He doesn’t know why it feels like this. Like Eddie not wearing the ring would be the end of the world. 

He manages to avoid looking for the first ten minutes and is seriously worried that he won’t have the guts to do it. Just as he’s resigned himself to his fate, Tommy groans from where he’s sitting in Steve’s usual seat (he hadn’t questioned the change) and then he cups his hands around his mouth and shouts.

“Get down, freak!”

Steve only just manages to not flinch. Slowly, he turns in his seat. Eddie pays no mind to Tommy other than flipping him off without even looking in his direction or pausing in his speech.

Eddie is currently using a lunch table as a stage as his friends grin up at him, egging him on. He’s passionate about whatever it is he’s talking about. Steve can tell from the way he begins gesturing wildly as he speaks. 

Steve can't tear his eyes away. He feels like he's finally been given permission to look since half of the cafeteria has their attention on him. 

It’s then that Steve glimpses the ring on Eddie's right hand. His ring.

five

tag list (closed)

@sofadofax @noodle-shenaniganery @queenie-ofthe-void @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @devondespresso

@dreamingtheimpossibe @plutoshelm @jaywhohasthegay @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie

@dreamy-jeans137 @justdrugsformethanks @estrellami-1 @travelingtwentysomething @sleepy-steve

@wheneverfeasible @bisexual-and-broke @lil-gremlin-things @n0-1-important @xxbottlecapx

@tinyplanet95

sorry if i missed anyone!!

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Instead of going for Tim, Jason goes for the easiest way to utterly destroy his Replacement and kidnaps his civilian boyfriend to demonstrate just how easy it is to lose something (or someone) you love in this line of work.

And while the whole “make the Replacement beg” part of the plan is going amazing…. Jason really didn’t plan the whole “keeping a conspiracy theorist teenager hostage” through to the end.

Bernard just wants to know what the new crime lord’s deal with Robin is. And why— and how— exactly he’s supposed to be a bargaining chip when he can count the times he met Robin on one hand. oh! and could someone maybe tell his boyfriend, Tim, that he’ll be late for their coffee date on Tuesday?

[southernreaches]

i need help with vet bills (again).

hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.

this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.

jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.

she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.

here's a link to my paypal.me

the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon

i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.

please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.

thank you for reading.

[obsessiveimpulses]

Yuuta needy brainrot °♡

summary: needy yuuta interrupts your girls night

cw: slight breeding kink, phone sex, exhibitisiom ? , subboy!yuuta , porn w a lil plot

an: first submission here,,, im welcome to any ideas and feel free to leave some feed back !! thanks:^)

☆°○

You laid next to Nobara, both propped up by your elbows. Your jaws hung slack as the blue light shined from her laptop. You were watching the latest hit romcom that Nobara had been begging you to watch with her for ages. It took her so long to convince you - only about 50 rejections for you to finally say yes. You were always just too busy with Yuuta, truthfully he just never wanted to leave your side. And you never wanted to leave his

Yuuta was a bit of the overprotective, obsessive type. You had to practically beg him stay at Nobaras tonight. Nonetheless, you love him for it despite knowing it probably wasn't healthy.

~~~~~

"Please, Yuuta..." you said cupping his large pale hands with your own, "it's just one night I'll be back first thing tomorrow, I promise." You stood between his legs, his big tired eyes looking up into yours. He shook his heading before dropping it, his hair slightly covering his left eye.

"Fine" he mutters. His voice trembled a little before looking back up at me. But there was something in his eyes, they glistened darkly.

"Really?!"

He squeezes your hands tighter, "yes... but, that doesn't mean it won't be easy" he spoke softly. He rose taking his coat from the rack and gently placing it over your shoulders. He grabbed your bag from the floor, passing it to you.

"Don't worry you'll be fine Yuuta, it's only for one night" you reassured him.

"I never said for me" he mumbled his voice smooshed by his lips caressing your forehead. His hands grabbed the side of your head, holding you close as you shivered from the touch of his cold ring.

~~~~~~

Nobara reached over twisting your hair between her fingers mindlessly. Her bed was ever so soft but it wasn't us soft as Yuuta's.

Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz

Nobara and I jumped at the vibrations sent through the bed. "Who's that?" she questioned leaning over to try and peek.

"It's probably just Yuuta..." you sighed sitting up, "I should just see what he wants." Nobara sighed as well, not wanting to be interrupted on your only time together.

Answering the phone you spoke, "hello? Yuuta?" Silence answered back.

"Yuuta, what's up?" Asking again patiently waiting for an answer.

"Baby..." Yuuta choked out, followed by muffled sounds of the bed creaking and sheets rustling. "Yeah, is everything okay?" You inquired.

"No.. baby I need your help" he spoke softly his voice consistently broken up with small sharp breaths. He continued panting into the phone, pleading your name.

"Yuuta! Are you okay?!" Your voice raised as you grew anxious and impatient. Worrying you brought your hand to your mouth chewing along your nail. Your heart beat faster, it echoed through your mind like a drum.

"Darling ... I... ugh" he moaned into the phone.

Huuuuuh.... your mind went blank.

"nggh ... can't take it anymore, need your sweet pussy baby" he moaned breathlessly his sweet little whines ever so soft. A knot growing into your stomach.

"Yuuta... are you?" you sighed into the phone. A wave of relief washed over you before quickly being replaced by a swarm of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. He was right he wasn't going to make this easy, for you.

"m'mmm.. so close" he choked out. Followed by squelching and sniffles. Tears rolled down his cheeks, he couldn't help it. He fisted his cock, his back arching as he moaned into the phone echoing into your ear.

"so sorry baby, please forgive me but I just can't help it... need you... need your voice" he whined growing closer chasing the building feeling growing in his balls.

You pictured him sprawled across the bed. Seeing him vividly leaking from his slit, precum dripping down his length onto his balls and in-between his upper thighs. You could only imagine the mess he's making. A bead of sweat rolling down his forehead mixing in with his salty tears before dropping onto his lip.

"Yuuta, it's okay" you mumbled. "Don't stop baby I'm here for you." His moans pierced through your brain. In that moment you wanted nothing more than to see or at least hear him cum for you. To at least hear him cum from nothing but the simple sound of your voice.

Hearing your praise the feeling intensifies. His strokes become harder, faster and louder. The squelching sounds and his soft pleas for release growing louder. You almost forgot Nobara sat right next to you, her face contorted with confusion.

You shrug your shoulders and wave your hand with dismissal at her hoping she would just ignore you. Most importantly, you were praying she couldn't hear Yuuta's whines.

"ugh darling.. don't want to waste my cum," Yuuta barely gets out in between moans, "should be deep in you instead."

"It's okay Yuuta, just show me... after" you say but really you want to see it now. At this rate it wasn't going to be long before you soaked through your jeans.

With this Yuuta is determined to make a huge mess just to show you how much he needs you. His needy moans become more desperate filled with more fuuuucks than ever before.

"Fuck.. I'm gonna cum baby," Yuuta whines rocking his hips up into his hands. "Pleaseee, say I love you... need to hear you."

"I love you Yuuta" you say. Your pussy throbs for him just as his cock throbs for you. Before he can even tell he's cumming, his hands are covered with cum as he crys out for you. His hips buck up high picturing himself deep inside you.

He chuckles to himself, still breathless from his sweet release.

"Ugh so good.. I love you, goodnight" yuuta coos before abruptly hanging up. That bitch!

So, he's just going to tease me and beg for me like that and not even say thank you after! You sigh angrily taking your phone away from you ear.

"What was that about?" Nobara asks.

Before answering your phone dings. It's Yuuta he's sent you an image.

'As promised my love' it reads followed by a photo of his hand stretched cum coating everywhere. Its inbetween his fingers and all over his cock. Is this how much he usually cums in me?! You think to yourself in shock.

"Hello?" Nobara says as he snaps her fingers in front of your face.

"Fuck sorry, he just wanted to say goodnight" you say quickly. Liar may as well be written in thick black ink over your forehead with how red your face is.

Yuuta you fucking bastard. I'll get you back for that.

[obsob]

one small step for. kitties

[holmsister]

Kabru is sat next to this hot blonde in the blunt rotation at some party and they keep talking about random shit but they ARE hot and kabru is too polite to stop them so he's sort of listening with one ear and then like

L: AND THE ALPHA THING COMES FROM A POORLY-CONDUCTED STUDY ON WOLVES FROM SEVERAL PACKS FORCED TOGETHER IN CAPTIVITY AND-

K: *suddenly waking up from a mild slumber* oh its like the Zimbardo prison experiment.

L: the. What.

K: *talking at the speed of light out of fear Laios will stop him* in the seventies this psychologist called Zimbardo at the University of Harvard wanted to see how violence worked in humans so he enlisted students for a big behavioural study and divided them in two group - prisoners and prison guards - and gave the "guards" leeway in how they chose to enforce their authority on the "prisoners" which led to such a level of escalating abuse the experiment had to be stopped long before the agreed date and for decades this has been cited as PROOF humans will inherently take advantage of situations to abuse others but the experiments was demonstrably built extremely badly from conception and most serious researches dismiss it now but it STILL gets quoted all the time as proof humans are inherently evil and shit. Sorry.

L: ...why are you apologising.

K: I went on a weird rant on you.

L: that wasn't weird! That was super interesting actually. I didn't realise experiments on this sort were conducted on humans.

K: well. They usually aren't nowadays for a variety of- are you sure you want me to keep talking? You were talking about wolves.

L: oh but I actually want to hear so we can compare!

K: ...isnt it weird that I know so much about this sort of thing?

L: not at all!

K: *really hot for this stranger all of a sudden* uh. Ah. So. The behaviourist movement-

[bananafishdepression]

SPOILER ALERT ‼️‼️

They took the "in another life" a little too seriously 💀

[llegato]

a redraw of something from 2020

the original version + the 2022 version