#i cant wait to get out of this house once i have enough money

[justkennadi]

Being plug!connie’s sneaky link🤫🤭

Plug!Connie x Fem/blk!reader

Summary: just u ‘n connie sneakinnn around…

Cw: Some cussing, a lot of mentioning of being high, nsfw

- Plug!Connie knew you since high school. You were friends with Armin and Eren who were friends with Sasha, Jean and him. He thought u were fine asf too but didn’t make a move on you until a while ago.

-You started trying out weed to take the stress off form college your first year and Plug!Connie was the only person you knew who had his hands on some. Y’all stayed together while he taught you how to inhale and all the basics of smoking. He honestly kept getting distracted by how good you looked in you biker shorts and crop top you wore that day.

- “You got a man’s yet mama?” He’d ask as you puffed out a bit of smoke, coughing a bit.

-“Uh, nah, *cough* why?” You’d ask looking at him. It could’ve been the weed but this man was starting to look real fine. You stared into his intense hazel eyes as he just smirked. “No reason…..” He’d trail off.

-And that was the start of it all. You started really getting to know him but once y’all got serious y’all decided to keep it secret.

-Now it’s been a year and honestly you both don’t know how none of y’all friends found out abt y’all?? (I mean Armin was very suspicious at this point but he didn’t have enough proof so he stayed quiet…)

- Plug!Connie would call you after he was done selling all this orders for the day and just sit in his car smoking a blunt as you rambled about your day and how much you missed him. You were in college but it was your 3rd yr so you didn’t have to stay on campus and had your own little loft apartment but you were still very busy all the time so y’all’s schedules didn’t really match up.

- “I miss uuu! I cant wait to see u this saturday.” You said laying on you bed.

- “I know mama. Me too.” Connie said blowing smoke out the window.

- Plug!Connie and you could only meet up about once or twice a week most of the time. And when y’all did…y’all had a mf ball🤭

- Onyankopon and Jean saw y’all at the mall once and swore they saw him holding your hand but Connie denied it.

- “Bro, we aren’t gonna laugh at you if y’all fuckin’ for real.” Jean said one day hanging out at Connie’s place.

- “Nah. I aint fuckin her. Ion even know what y’all are talkin’ bout anyways cause i wasn’t at no mall.” Connie said nonchalantly and focusing on the game he was playing.

-Plug!Connie regularly would take you on shopping sprees with all the extra money he had. He would buy you almost anything you’d want but y’all gotta be more careful from here on out now.

- He honestly didn’t care if anyone found y’all out in y’all friend circle by now but he definitely didn’t need his regulars finding out about y’all.

- Plug!Connie sometimes facetimed you if y’all missed your weekly meet up and he was feeling needy. “Come on ma, i wanna see u….” He’d say softly as his tatted hand stroked himself in his dim lit bedroom.

- It was pitch black in your room as it was 1:03am and you were half awake and did not feel like turning no lights on. But after a while of begging from Connie you turned your bedside lamp on anyways cause you were just as needy to see him. Y’all would be on the phone for hours on nights like this, missing each other deeply.

-Sometimes you wanted to break and tell your friends Mikasa or Sasha but you promised Connie you’d wait until he was ready to tell everyone too. Mikasa acted like already knew tho which fr threw you off sometimes. You’d casually mention Connie and she’d side eye you and smirk a little and you would just be like, “…What?” and she’d just say, “Oh, nothing.”

- Plug!Connie’s contact for you in his phone was - Princesa👸🏾 and for him you just had him as - 💋❤️

- When y’all finally had free time to meet up he’d pull up to your house and be in some silly disguise it was kinda funny. You’d walk out your apartment and get in and just laugh a bit.

- “Why you got sunglasses and a mustache on Con?”

- “…..Cause.”

- He’d do it mainly to see you laugh.

- Most of the time, especially after y’all got caught at the mall, y’all had to get smart and stop going to places like stores and parks where familiar faces would regularly be and could see y’all. Sometimes late at night tho y’all would go to a park and either walk around and talk or just smoke some blunts in silence.

- Sometimes y’all went to movies that started late like 11pm or midnight high as hell. Y’all would share a big bucket of popcorn and eat a lot of candy.

- Other times y’all would just hang out at each others place, most of the time Connie’s tho cause your place wasn’t too big.

-Y’all’s hang outs always concluded with a make out sesh and then the devils tango ofc.

-Plug!Connie would sit you in his lap while y’all was on the couch, stareing deep into your eyes with his slight tinted red ones. His hands would roam from your lower back to your ass and thighs just rubbing and squeezing the plushness. He’d admire you forever if you let him cause he truly loved you that much.

- Connie would slowly kiss you, your lipgloss getting onto his on lips in the process. “Mmm, this strawberry, ma?” He’d whisper while licking his lips and you would just nod and start to kiss him again before he said anything else.

- Sometimes y’all would stay on the couch as y’all did the deed but other times Connie would take you into his room so y’all didn’t stink up the living room in case he was gonna have guest over later.

-He loved doggy style the most, watching your ass meet his hips as he held your hips pulling you back over and over. Entranced and high, watching where y’all met as the slick, wet sounds and your addicting moans filled his ears.

- When y’all were done it was either time to eat or sleep. Sometimes when y’all met midday though Connie would just tell you to stay in his room if he was having people over or had to leave to handle business. You didn’t like when he would leave you there but he always came back within at least 3ish hours and he said it was, “For safety, ma.”

- It was rare y’all could spend a whole day together. Most of the time y’all met at night after either you or connie got off work.

- Plug!Connie always kissed you bye when you had to go in the mornings or when he dropped you off. He would hold your hand and stare into your eyes once more like he was never gonna see you again. He’d tell you, “I love you, princesa. Stay safe, i’ll see you later.”

- You didn’t know how much longer you could handle this sneaking around but lord did you love the mf thrill.

(I’ve had this in my drafts since July last year😭😭 i don’t have anything to write lately so ig i’ll just be clearing out my drafts. I’m down with school so at least i have time to write anywaysss. Reminder that my requests are open too!)

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Hi dear I hope you're doing well and I was hoping if you can do the whole greaser gang with a s/o that's like Fiona Gallagher from the show shameless? Like she's taking care of her six siblings and her dad who's usually at the bar or passed out somewhere. Their mother ran out and is mentally ill so their s/o is left to be her siblings mother/father/ and nurse fill free to ignore if you want to do and I hope you have a good day!

Summary: The Outsider x Fiona Gallagher!Reader Warnings:mentions of absent mother, drinking, very toxic adult behavior, dysfunctional family Author's Note: gonna be busy tmrw and weekend again, ill try and post 1 fic per day but no promises.

PONYBOY CURTIS

Ponyboy doesn’t really live in a dysfunctional family, yes his home life is tough but Darry loves him and tries his best and pony knows that

However, pony cant mentally put himself in Darry’s shoes of having no-one to lean on and having to take care of many siblings

When he first met you, he was absolutely smitten. And when you told him of your problems, he thought you were the toughest chick in town

He often asks Darry what to do to take a couple of burdens off your shoulder. He applies it to you and also at home, you’ve made him a better person.

JOHNNY CADE

Has a dysfunctional family and can understand, to an extent..he still gets fed sometimes and doesn’t have to work to stay in his home

But he doesn’t have a hard time adjusting to you.

He’s very open and loves your siblings, so he tries to take them out as many times as possible to give you some rest.

He genuinely doesnt understand how your parents could have left you doing all this by yourself when you’re such a perfect girl.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Soda admires you like you’re a work of art. 

He takes everything into consideration, for example, if he wants to take you on a date he’ll invite some of the gang members to hang out with your siblings and keep them away

Never asks you for anything, not to rant, vent or anything. He feels as if his problems could never measure up to yours so his whole world revolves around you.

Tries to spend as much of his money as possible to get you nice things and spoil you.

STEVE RANDLE

Steve understands how tough it is for you mentally. He’ll often stop by your place with something for you, like a box of chocolates or something. 

Whenever he’s over, he makes an effort to get to know and play with your siblings, he even was going to introduce himself to your dad. You convinced him it was a bad idea so he didnt.

He makes it known that you can tell him anything, literally anything, and he’d listen. He also wants you to know that you can call him anytime and he’d come for you.

Reassures you that he won’t ever leave you, that you’re special and he’s madly in love with you.

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

Two-Bit has some kid experience so he tries his hardest to keep your siblings company and even brings his sisters for ‘playdates’

Really enjoys spending time with you and would even do the chores around the house with you to keep talking with you.

He’s not very good at comforting people and he tries to make up for it by using his humor. You get where he’s coming from and it often helps a lot actually.

Tries his best to look nice for you when he comes over, he wants you to know he’s not a washed up nobody like your parents and wants to be a rolemodel to your siblings.

DARRY CURTIS

Often tells you that you’re perfect and that your siblings will grow so much better with you as their ‘parent’. He once made you cry because of what he said and he just held you in his arms while you sobbed.

He can sort of relate to what you’re going through but his is not as extreme as yours. 

Whenever he can he drops by to help you. Date night consists of making dinner for your siblings, washing the dishes and having a late night dinner together after you put your siblings to bed.

He knows you'd make a perfect wife since he’s old enough to marry, just waiting on the right time to pop the question.

DALLAS WINSTON

Dallas is insensitive and rude to you. He knows what you’re going through, he just doesn’t care.

However, once you caught him putting on a bandaid for your younger brother. He wasn’t kind about it, saying things like “can’t you do this yourself?” but he still did it.

He knows you saw it and thinks that hanging around your house and helping you with chores and siblings will keep you quiet about it

He doesn’t like kids, but he tolerates them for his reputation, and because you’re growing on him.

[graysnetwork]

What kind of dads I think the 141 tf would be

༻━━━━༺❀༻━━━━༺

𝒥𝑜𝒽𝓃 '𝒮𝑜𝒶𝓅'  𝓜.

❀ Deffo a girl dad

❀ He has three girls with you and always rough housing with them—throwing them in the air and doing anything to make his little girls giggle

❀ ALWAYs giving you heart attacks with the trick he does with them

Once pushed his daughter abruptly into the pool after swimming lessons to see if they payed off (they did)

Then one of your daughters wanted to try a yoga tick and she definitely flipped when she wasn't supposed to.

❀ Always trying to make them happy

Takes them to the daddy daughter dances, takes them on daddy–daughter dates

Buys them anything they want whether it be food to the latest toy

❀ Takes pictures of them all the time!!! What can he say, he likes proof

❀ After a year of taking a break from kids you two try again and finally he gets a boy

He’s so excited

𝒮𝒾𝓂𝑜𝓃 '𝒢𝒽𝑜𝓈𝓉’ 𝓡.

❀ Girl dad all the way!

❀ Obsessed with his little girl and never lets her out of his sight.

❀ Gets teary eyed when she grows every month

❀ He was hesitant to have a kid but you two got the case of baby fever (and horniness) and made one. Now he's in love.

❀ Cherishes her and makes sure she's always happy.

❀ The burly man is suddenly so gentle and always doing peek-a-boo to make her smile

❀ You two wait at least three years to have another kid

Now he’s a girl and boy dad!

❀ Makes sure to treat the two of them so well and make sure they never experience what he did when he was little.

❀ Even with his son hes gently

Sees how Soap plays with his daughters and has a heart attack at the thought of them being in the air

But when his son grows up a bit and starts getting more “tough” (aka punching Simon with his little fists and Simon just thinks it his muscles spasming until he turns around and sees the little guy) he starts playing with him somewhat more rough.

Teaches him Krav Maga

Takes him to the shooting range (only after hes 15)

Also teaches his daughter Krav Maga and gives her enough self protection items to protect herself and the whole school

❀ He tries to not over do it but he's always spending his money on them (and u obvi)

❀ Takes them by base sometimes just to meet their “uncles.”

❀ He just loves them so much

𝒥𝑜𝒽𝓃 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝒸𝑒

❀ Girl dad.

❀ Doesn't have a boy—wouldn't be mad if he had one but he doesn't care, hes ecstatic with his two girls.

❀ Cherishes those precious little girls with his whole heart

❀ Very strict and tells them once they can understand words that they cant date until they turn 30

When they grow up it gets annoying but he's very insistent that they cant date—at least not in high school

❀ He does all the things “normal families do” when he's back home

Disneyland trips, road trips, dinners anywhere the family wants

Speaking of dinners—everyone votes which restaurant sounds the best and that's where you guys go

❀ Almost cries every first day of school

Always posting/sharing photos in family and friend gc’s to show off his daughters achievements

Example:

Price: (Photo of him next to his daughter after getting an award) My daughters amazing

Ghost: 👍

Soap: good kid, congrats

Gaz: let her know we’re proud!

❀ If he posts a picture i believe the caption would go: My little girl is always putting in the work! Best student I know!

He’s always having proud dad moments 🥺

𝒦𝓎𝓁𝑒 "𝒢𝒶𝓏" 𝒢.

❀ Two boys and then one girl

❀ Loves all of them so much!

❀ He’s always teaching them new things

​​He’s a teaching dad

Teaches them how to cook, play sports, bake, swim, ect.

❀ Takes them to sports events and concerts

He’s the kind of guy whos always giving them reasons to post pics

❀ Soaps a cool dad but he's a rowdy cool, Kyle on the other hand is cool chill dad

His kids are never embarrassed by him and their friends also love him

❀ (He’s the dad who the moms like)

❀ Not as strict on his kids but he is very protective

❀ He also teaches his kids self defense

༻━━━━༺❀༻━━━━༺

[mschimdt]

hello, lovely! 💕

can I get nsfw oneshot with mike and f!reader who is the dominant one in their relationship most of the time, but one day she no longer has the strength for staying dominant and Mike now has everything under his control?

sending love and have a good day! (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)💕

that one afternoon

KEEP SENDING REQUESTS IN IM GOING TO REPLY TO ALL OF THEM

IK THAT ISNT MIKE ITS PEETA BUT I COULDNT FIND ANY GIFS OF HIM + THEYRE BOTH JOSH SOO 🥱

im actually loving the requests im getting so far,

mike schmidt x f!reader

disclaimer: i have no knowledge about jobs so im writing what i know from tv shows and movies💀 + mike is well off now, hes not struggling with money, english isnt my first language and THIS IS NOT PROOF READ

-----------------18+ MINORS DNI------------------

you were at work, you work a simple office job at a fast fashion conpany, but your manager is a literal bitch and she makes you work overtime, or she has you cover for her 'boyfriend' who works a similar job while they fuck in her office

"y/n, come here" you heard your boss say from behind you in her stupid british accent that just made her sound the more bossier, you rolled your eyes, turning around to face her

"i need you to cover for tom, and i need you to send these files to the board" you stared at her, with a dull expression

"no" you mutteted, staring at her, it took her a few seconds to process what you just said, a unknown expression slips onto her face "no? youre acting asif you make the rules around here, i suggest you shut up and go back to work or im making you work saturdays"

"why cant tom do his job? hes litteraly in great fucking health? oh wait, hes too busy fucking you in your office!!"

she looked at you, everyone in the office had their faces turned towards you

you continued speaking "dont acr all shocked now, we all hear your moans alllll the way from over here, maybe you should quiet down a bit huh? i can report what your doing to me and what youre doing with your boyfriend to the CEO!!!"

"fuck this stupid job, tom can do my shifts too now! because i QUIT" you said, grabbing your little tag, shoving it in your managers face before walking out of the building

you turned on your car, shoving the keys in the keyhole, whilw you waited for the car to start, your head was against the steering wheel, once the car finally warmed up you drove the car back to your house, a decent sized 2 story house you got with your boyfriend, mike, and his sister

you parked your car outside, you got out of the car opening the houses door with the key nwxt to your car key, you walked in, as you tried to pull the key out of the door, it wouldnt come out and that was it you went fucking nuts

"STUPID FUCKING KEY" you screamed, as you pulled at it as hard as you could, you didnt even notice mike standing a few meters away from you

as you continued to try to pull the key out, you felt mikes hand on your shoulder, soon followed by him saying something

"hey, hey, calm down whats up?" you froze, forgetting that mike was home, afterall it was his day off

he pulled your hand away from the key, "if you were more gentle it would've come out" he said, pulling it out gently.

he put his hands behind your back, closing the door behind the both of you and leafing you towards the living room

"sorry mike-" you said

"dont be sorry, whyre you so worked up though?"he said, you hesitated for a second and told him what happened

"glad you finally quit, that little bitch was getting on my nerves"

"yeah- i guess so but ive gotta find a new job now, it was hard enough finding that one" you said, staring down into your lap

mike looked at you, "look, you dont need to get a job my jobs good enough, were not struggling anymore you dont need to work if you dont feel like it" he said with a soft voice, looking at you with his big brown eyes

you kissed him slowly, a needy kiss, you needed this.

that inoccent kiss slosly escelated into a heated makeout session, you on his lap, hand on his neck, while his hands were under your shirt slightly groping your tits

when he squeezed your nipple, you let out a soft moan into his mouth, you felt him smirk against your lips before he detached his lips from yours, moving onto your neck, attacking it with his mouth

teeth biting into your neck, he seperated his lips from your neck, to take your shirt off, you lifted your hands up, allowing him to remove it, before he went back to assaulting your body with his mouth

his hands reaching behind you, unbuckling your bra and pulling it off your shoulders

he pulled away again, lifting his shirt up above his head, taking it off

he layed you down, trailing kisses and bites all the way from your neck, to your stomache, when he reached your lower abdomen he tugged at your waist band, he was in control this time and he wasnt gonna go easy on you

he slipped your jeans off, leaving you in panties, he then broight his fingers to your covered cunt, rubbing circles against your covered clit "oh god mike- more please!" you screamed, abby wasnt home so you could be as loud as you wanted

mike slipped your panties off, restint his face right infront of your clothed cunt, his hot breaths hitting it "please mike-"

he then got up, staring at you, he wasnt gonna give you what you wanted, no, its too early

"one second" he said, getting up off the couch, heading into your room, "fuck you mike!" you shouted, he replied with a soft chuckle, "youre gonna regret that" he went inside, coming out a few seconds later with something in his hand

you lifted yourself onto your elbows "whats that?" you asked, your eyes widening when you realized what it was, a vibrator

"when did you get that? and why dont i know about this" you asked

"ive been hiding it for a while, looking for a good time to use it on you, and nows the right time" he said walking over to you

"open your legs for me" he said, you obeyed, opening your legs, he slowly put the vibrator between your folds, you gasped at the cold feeling of it, he then switched it on

the moment you felt it start vibrating against yoy, you threw your head back, letting out a semi-loud moan

mike held the vibrator against your clit, you jerked your hips up, you didnt mean to do it but you did it out of reflex a few times causing mike to reach his hand out to your stomache, pinning you down. preventing you from moving

after a few minutes, of moaning and whimpering you tried to make out a word, letting mike know you were about to come, "mike- mikey- im about to come"

you were almosy there, when you felt the vibrator stop, you looked at mike, he had a shit eating grin on his face "w-why'd you stop" you said, disappointed

"youre not cumming on this vibrator baby, the only place youre going to cum is on my cock alright?" he said, as he unbuckled his belt, unzipping his jeans and taking them off along with his boxers

his cock slapping against his stomache as he positioned himself between your legs, he slipped the tip in, his head inbetween your neck, muttering soft nothings and praises

you felt the stretch, it burned, it wasnt your first time taking him but every time, he split you open, hes really big

as he continued sliding his cock inside your cunt, you could feel every vein, and when he finally bottomed out, he didnt give you time to adjust

he started thrusting in and out with no warning, moans leaving your mouth, mike lifted himself off you, holding into your hips

the sounds of skin slapping and moans filled the room as mike fucked you into oblivion, "open your mouth" you didnt hesitate, opening your mouth, hair messy, sweat running down your forehead

mike spit into your mouth, he then used his hand to shut your jaw shut "swallow" he waited for you to swallow, whimpers being let out while you swallowed his spit

you were about to cum "m-mike oh god!" you said, he knew you were close and so was he, he kept thrusting in and out, quickning up the pace a little bit

a loud moan left your mouth as you squirted all over mikes lower abdomen, once he knew you were done, hr slipped out, jerking himself off until he came, thick ropes of cum covering your tits and stomache

mike fell against you, panting

" you were so good" he said against your cheeck, kissing it

you layed there for a few minutes, before mike got up "come on lets washup abbys gonna be home anytime now"

you let out an annoyed groan, before getting up.

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

au in which nathaniel is married to riko

okay so

in this universe there's no mafia, the moriyamas are just filthy rich businessmen, but nathan still is a serial killer

things go a bit different in the sense that nathan kills mary when neil is 10 bc he loses his temper and keeps neil practically captive in that house, torturing him endlessly until nathan slips up and somehow the fbi finds the evidence they need to raid the house when neil is idk 15 ish and they end up killing nathan and neil is sent to foster care

he doesn't have as bad a time in foster care as andrew did, some parents like slapping him around, but some are genuinely nice people

ultimately tho he's not adopted by anyone by the time he turns 18 (he tells himself he doesn't mind, who would want a damaged and quiet and sketchy and flighty kid in their family anyway?)

he's left on his own, to figure out how to be a real person, an adult, with no home, no place to stay, no friends, no family, nothing but himself

he goes through a few years where he just lives on the streets, spending the little money he has left on food, going to shelters when he can, traveling through states until he gets to new york

he's attacked and harassed by some guy at some point outside a bar or something and he's so dazed he cant even fight back, but someone fights back for him

and its riko moriyama, famous fucking exy star and professional athlete

he saves neil and he takes him to his place, where he lets him stay and recover and hey, he's actually kind of sweet, and he really cares about neil, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stay with him? and when riko kisses him the first time maybe its not so bad? and maybe when they start dating he's incredibly loving and he gives him gifts and it's the happiest neil has been? and maybe when riko proposes neil says yes and they get married and they're happy? genuinely happy for once?

except that at some point, the love becomes anger, the sweet gestures become punches, the care becomes jealousy and control and pain, and what was the best thing in neils life becomes a nightmare once more

(and maybe he blames himself, maybe its neil thats the problem, maybe its him who brings out the worst in people, maybe he's doomed to this cycle of abuse)

its not until riko beats neil withing an inch of his life that neil runs

OH SHIT WAIT LMAO I FORGOT TO SAY

neil doesn't actually go by neil throughout all of this, he still goes by nathaniel, his legal name, nathaniel wesninski is married to riko moriyama not neil josten

so neil runs and runs and runs with what little money he could steal from riko and he adopts neil josten's identity until he physically cannot keep going

luckily for him, his collapse happens far enough, all the way in seattle in the same pharmacy that medical intern aaron minyard was buying some supplies

so yeah aaron freaks out and almost calls an ambulance but neil stops him bc he's scared bc riko might not have mafia connections in this universe but he has so much fucking money

and it takes aaron and katelyn and abby on the phone for them to fix a heavily beat up neil who should definitely go to the hospital but this is the best they can do

(aaron just assumes he's homeless, and he cant pay the hospital, and he's a fucking softie deep inside so he does everything he can to help how he can)

and maybe when kate catches neil sneaking out one night, she does everything to stop him and offers him safety and maybe the exchange some truths, maybe kate guesses that neil had someone that abused him, maybe someone he loved and neil is scared and he doesn't feel like he can trust anyone but something about kate makes him break down and tell her what he can while making sure he doesn't reveal much

and im taking too long but basically aaron and kate take neil in and they introduce him to the foxes and to the legendary kevin day and andrew minyard, professional exy players for the seattle exy team

and well it takes time and lots of trust before neil lets himself open up again

but its in the form of andrew minyard and the way they can both respect each others boundaries, and neil tells andrew about nathan, but never reveals the truth about being married or anything about riko moriyama

until andrew asks neil to marry him and well

it all goes to shit lol

neil cant bring himself to tell andrew the truth and it all becomes a mess and andrew breaks things up and neil becomes a mess as well

(bc its true, it's on him, its always on him and god he never learns, he never fucking learns, he doesn't fucking get happy endings, he doesn't fucking get good things)

and he tries to leave aaron and kate's place again, and he's successful this time and he's on his way out of seattle when he stops by a gas station to get some food and he has no idea of where he's going and he hesitates for a while, until he catches the eye of andrew on his car outside, and andrew just looks away and leaves and-

and if neil was hesitating before he's sure now and he has to leave for good and he has to leave and get away and never come back and

and he runs right into riko moriyama as he's leaving the store

to be continued maybe??

[pumpkinsy0]

i need tarry being parents to the siblings hcs PLEASE

tarry as parents w their siblings coming right up anon ☝🏽🤵🏽‍♀️

FIRST OFF darry w curly and angela

•we all already know how darry feels about curly, BUT now that he’s gettin w tim, he HAS to get along w him now🙄

•everytime curly pisses him off he cant even kick him out no more, he just pinches the bridge of his nose, sighs, and goes “ok lets try this again”

•in darrys truck, curlys that kid where no matter if u packed this mf snacks or something to keep him from annoying everyone else around him, he would kick the back of darrys seat while hes trynna drive

•darry and angela dont rlly, have much to say to each other, not even that they hate each other, they just have nothing to rlly bond over, all their convo’s r pretty short and basic like a “so how was ur day 🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻‍♂️”

•i could see darry helping angela w homework, she could go to tim but she dunno where he is and darrys right there cooking dinner

•everything they do together, its just quiet, like theres rlly not much to say about em, they dont hate each other, maybe they giggle about at how crazy curly can b at times, but other than that, they keep to themselves around each other

NOW MY FAV BIT,,,, tim w soda and pony,,,,

•tim would find pony funny, and pony doesnt even mean to be, he does or says something and tim chuckles and shakes his head while ponys thinking “whats so funny????”

•pony and tim r both artist,,,let them draw together and show each other their drawings,,, i could also see tim liking to read a bit, not as much as pony but a decent enough amount for pony to be like “omg???” they have a small lil book club

•pony gets used to tim but also has a but of “oh my god thats tim shepard” feeling within him still, meanwhile tims calling pony small nicknames like little man or somethin along those lines

•tim and soda r like, the most open to each other if that makes sense, they r pretty buddy buddy but not that close, sodas just an easy person to get along w

•while darry has no clue how to interact w curly amd angela, tims over yuckin it up w soda, watching tv

•they rlly only talk during certain parts of the day bc they r busy guys, in the morning they just share like a good morning or something but come afternoon theyre sharing stories over card games

NOW FOR THEM ALL TOGETHER!!!

•they dont even live together, tim was over at the curtis house for a while and curly and angela came over cause whyyyy have u been over there for the past couple days king, we need u</33

•them sleeping on the couches all together watching tv??? awww yeaaa

•the curtis’ took the shepards fishing once (ONCE, it took a bit of convincing to do) and theres a few pics to remember that

•darry makes them their snacks and tim drives the lil bastards to school (and soda to work)

•u cannot escape haitian shepards, darry learned how to speak french in high school and the shepards know french already so im betting all my money that darry and tim could b having a secret convo in french in darrys room “so the kiddos dont hear” but lil do they know, curly and angela r eavesdropping and pony and soda r right there waiting for them to translate

•tims had to get used to pony just waltzing into darrys room bc he had a nightmare and he can handle that, but what he CANT handle is pony standing at the foot of the bed bc pony has a very specific stare and all he sees is his eyes, its like hes the fucking devil child sometime

•they have to constantly argue on wether or not theyre having haitian food or american food, not only for themselves, but for their gangs as well

•speaking of food, the shepards will never get used to soda adding fucking food dye to the food man

[sturnstvs]

space camp - chris sturniolo

summary: in which scarlet is a model for the space camp photo shot and chris catches her attention

warnings: use of y/n, a brief mention of ADHD, i dont know if chris really does have it but in some stories he will as this is complete fiction

modeling was always something y/n wanted to do, it was a passion she had since she was a child. she worked hard for it, having the perfect body the perfect skin, with this it gained her a lot of popularity in high school, but the one thing that popularity taught her was boys are jackasses.

when she graduated high school the first thing she did was go to LA, she had always wanted to go and she saved enough money from her job in her hometown that she was able to. with the one trip to LA to try and find modeling jobs, she managed to get herself a manager and ended up spending the whole summer in LA.

after that summer her manager told her it would be best for her to permanently move to LA, which is what she did. she was able to get a apartment and move to LA full time.

madi filipowicz had heard of y/n. she was all over magazine covers as well as social media, so when she heard that her best friend was launching a brand and needed modals for a photo shoot she knew exactly who he should call.

when y/n got the call from her manager that the nick sturniolo wanted her to be a model for his upcoming brand she was ecstatic. i mean come on its nick sturniolo. her manager told her that it was in a couple of days and she would find out about everything when she got there.

so fast forward to friday which was the day of the photo shoot and she couldn't be more thrilled.

"hi, im nick sturniolo you must be y/n right?" nick greeted her when she walked through the door to the warehouse

"yes, it's nice to meet you, im a big fan" y/n told the boy

"oh, thank you! i didn't think that someone like you would know me" he told her surprised

"no! you're so great" y/n said to the the brunette as they walked through to the back

"okay well, this is where they will get you ready and everything and ill meet you out there" he told the girl with a smile

"alright, thanks again for this opportunity" y/n told the boy excitedly

once y/n was ready she went out and did the shoot, which went better than she was expecting.

while she was in the middle of the shoot one of his brother which she assumed was chirs kept staring at her. now don't get her wrong she thinks he is really attractive and all just that she had a rule. you don't date any people working around the set. maybe if she met chris outside of the set or maybe if she didn't work on the set at all she would pursue talking to him romantically, but it would get too complicated and her manager forbid it.

"alright that's a wrap for today, y/n can i talk to you for a sec" one guys behind the scene asked

"yeah sure" she got up and made her way over to talk to him

"nick personally asked, if you could of course, come in tomorrow to do a one on one set with him, we already talked to your manager and she said it was good"

"of course, same time" y/n noted

"yep, and thank you again"

the next day came quicker then she expected, leading her to the moment she is now, right outside the door of the ware house once again, unbeknownst to her christopher sturniolo was on the other side waiting for her

y/n was not the only one to notice his stares, but his brother as well as his manager had also noticed them. they told chris he cant become involved with one of the models as it would ruin the set and if it didn't work out they would lose one of their best models again.

chris of course being the person he is argued against this, but then again they hadn't really met which didn't really help his case, he needed to see if their connection was good enough in order to have a good argument which led chris to now.

nick was in a meeting at the moment about his brand so this was the perfect opportunity now that she was here. so he opened the ware house door and bombarded her with questions right away.

"hey im chris, you must be y/n! nice to meet you" chris told the girl enthusiastically

"hi yeah, im y/n, but i really got to go i have a photo shoot" scarlet told the boy softly

she didn't appreciate the stairs from yesterdays shoot and she didn't want to pursue him at all, unfortunately for her it seemed like he had the opposite idea.

"nick is in a meeting right now, but we can get to know each other maybe" chris told the girl

"i guess" she agreed, she didn't want to be rude it was her bosses brother after all.

the two got to know each other and it turns out they had a lot more in common then she originally would have thought. it turns out that he had ADHD which explained his hyper activity earlier on in the morning, he also found out that she has been modeling for a few years. the two really hit it off and nick noticed this when he came out of his meeting to find scarlet and chris laughing on the couch.

nick didn't like where this was going and something like this has happened before with one of the models but maybe she was different so he let it slide and him and y/n did their photo shoot, which turned out better then expected.

something y/n did know that day is she was definitely going to hang out with christopher sturniolo again.

[calciumdeficientt]

I'm fighting with the rest of the asks in Ur inbox for dominance GIVE ME LENORA AND PARKER HEADCANONS!!! ESP PROM ONES

Oh no no no i cant reduce it to just hcs. You’re getting the full Nelson baby!!!!!!! As per the prophecy, link for custom longform writings is here dudes!

PROM NIGHT

5,329 words of pure SAP

Bullworth had always seemed very stuck in its ways. From the architecture, gothic, awe-inspiring and decaying; to the uniforms, unchanged since the school was merely a concept, a set of white lines on blue architect’s paper sometime in the early 20th century; and most especially, its ethos- the school rules sprawled over ten pages of the A5 student handbook each member of the student body received at the beginning of their time at Bullworth. These rules were unchanged, untested. A Time Capsule. Written in the prose of their forefathers, forbidding many things that were far from the taboos they were then. One such rule was for any and all school dances, parties and other such social events: ‘one’s partner must be of the opposite sex, students are permitted to attend alone but partners of the same sex are strictly foreboden’. This created a barrier for Lenora Harker, who took great pride in being Bullworth’s resident party girl. In years gone by she would have gladly paired up with Kirby or Dan or any other jock willing to have her on his arm for the five seconds they were under the watchful eye of the prefects on the door. But those were past days, distant and fading. Most of her friends were seniors, and they were settling down into relationships that would soon fray once they reached college. They were settling with real girls, or trying to anyway. Those that were her age just wanted to go solo, pick up, and leave. Lenora was chopped liver.

It’s not like she’d just assumed either, she’d asked everyone she could think of. It was a resounding ‘No’ from all parties. Once her entire mental checklist was ticked off, Lenora cut the rest of her classes for the day and drove out to Old Bullworth Vale. She couldn’t quite place why she liked it so much, maybe because it was quiet. Lenora always thought better when she hung around Old Bullworth Vale, possibly because the locals regarded her with intense malign and scrutiny. It promoted self reflection in a twisted sort of way, much like an arsonist promotes warmth by setting a house on fire, treasured family memories still inside. Presently, Bullworth was in that strange sort of limbo between spring and summer, the weather was still cool, but things were starting to look brighter, livelier, around the town. Everything was flourishing… apart from Lenora, who seemed to have shrivelled into herself, like a snail brave enough to pass through a ring of salt or a houseplant that an adventurous plant-mother bought, and promplty forgot about. It was such a stupid thing to get her heart broken over, a school dance; and yet here she was, sat on the splintering wood of Old Bullworth Vale’s dock, her running shoes and gym socks off and placed to one side, her feet plunged into the cool water of the harbour, letting it lap at her ankles like an excited terrier, like one of the dogs she had waiting for her at home… sulking. Like a child that had been denied a toy. Her heart ached and throbbed in her chest, call it karmic justice for acting like such a playboy, but she sure as hell wasn’t feeling happy about getting dumped by the guys she thought were her friends.

The boards groaned under the weight of another person, their footsteps light and tentative despite what the noises of the protesting wood would have you believe. There was a weight and a warmth beside her, a rich scent of warm wood, amber, and freshly printed money. It was Parker by her side. She shouldn’t have been surprised that he came to find her, she bailed on their Friday afternoon coffee, they’d been doing that every week for close to two years; and she wasn’t exactly incognito, her hair gave her away instantly. A wild mane of blonde ringlets, that seemed to settle around her face like a halo drawn by a monk with a nasty tremor. “Hey” he hummed, his voice held its usual sunny lilt but it also contained a modicum of concern, as did his face, lightly twisted into a mask of confusion “Hey Park” she responded, an unnaturally low tone to her voice giving her away “You okay? You look a little blotchy” “Hm? What, yeah I’m fine… I got that- that hay fever” he nodded, letting out a low hum to show his approval. “Yeah, I hear it’s going around. Tissue?” “Sure.. thank you” Lenora wiped her face off with the tissue, trying to stop the flow of tears before Parker saw. “So what’s really going on” he hummed, quirking a brow, his brown eyes fixed on her hazel ones “I told you man, it’s hay fever, seriously” “Lenora come on… a problem shared is a problem halved, so spill the beans” Lenora shook her head, it was so trivial she couldn’t even tell Parker. God she really was losing her edge. “Parks, c’mon. It’s nothing” “Lenora Harker I will push you in this water if you don’t tell me” Lenora shook her head again, it’s all she could really do. God how she needed a cigarette, or a toke… or a shotgun slug to the forehead. “You’re gonna laugh at me” Parker sighed, Lenora was a good friend to have but when she was difficult, she was bloody difficult. “I’m not… going to laugh at you” “Yes you are! It’s so stupid… look, okay…” she passed her hands over her face, despite all her attempts to wipe off the snot and tears didn’t work, a thin stream glittered beneath her nose. She pawed at it with the back of her hand, trying to look presentable “It’s prom, okay? No one…” she swallowed thickly, trying hard to keep her voice steady “No one asked me to prom”

Parker leaned back on his hands, admittedly, it was actually a little stupid but he didn’t have the heart to tell her that, he was raised to treat ladies with utmost respect. It was the first time he’d ever seen Lenora so fragile, so open. If he pushed her too far she might snap shut again. The wood groaned as his weight shifted “I’ll take you” his voice while still sunny, was also full of determination. If there was one thing being a prep had taught him: You don’t back down, you don’t surrender. You push until the other party relents and accepts the deal. Lenora pulled her feet out of the water and looked at him with surprise, her eyebrows shooting up until they reached her hairline, before dropping into a furrow, like one of those silly pauper rides at the carnival. “What? No. Parker you’ve got that- that thing I can’t make you skip that” “What, the cotillion? It’s the same every year. I don’t need to go again” Lenora tucked her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her kneecaps. It was a little painful, she had a zit on the underside of her jaw “Won’t they be mad at you?” “Sure, for a while. But they’ll soon forget once they’ve had enough to drink”. The preps were simple creatures, all could be forgotten with enough vintage port, Parker knew that better than anyone. Lenora felt her heart tighten in her chest. It was such a noble gesture, but she couldn’t make him abandon his friends just because hers abandoned her “Park, it’s not that serious, I just… I won’t go, okay? I’ll wait until the afterparty. You don’t have to do this” Parker set his jaw, his eyes narrowing into slits, he felt a little bit like Clint Eastwood in one of those old westerns; but instead of trying to best Lenora in a shootout, he was trying to make her stubborn ass change her mind “You’d do it for me, right?” “I…” she was almost too stunned to speak, all the crying definitely didn’t help her. Her mouth was dry, her eyes were wet and she just really really wanted to go home. “Yeah…. I guess I would” her eyes broke from his for a second to look down at their shoes. Well… his shoes and her lack thereof admiring the leather of his loafers. Likely Italian and likely more expensive than her entire existence. Parker straightened up as things started to go his way “That’s what friends are Lenora, equals. I’m not doing this for me… I’m doing it for you, because we’re friends. Because we’re equals, okay?” “Ok.” “Okay… now put your shoes on”

Lenora looked at her feet, still soaking wet from her little sulky paddle, and then to her socks. Wet feet and dry socks seemed like as bad of a combination as Jeffery Epstein being a keynote speaker at an elementary school graduation. In a purely mindless action she twisted her leg up to rub her foot dry on her track uniform “Eugh” “What?” “I’ll wait for you at the end of the dock, okay?” “What? What?!” she continued to call, not fully grasping Parker’s disgust, her head following his form as it rose from its sitting position beside her, to a standing one, to one in motion, treading the boards of the dock with practised ease. Eventually, her feet were dry enough for her to put her shoes back on and the pair of them walked up the steps off of the beach and onto the street. Lenora wiped her eyes again and looked to Parker “Where are we headed?” “Don’t worry about it, you’ll like it” Lenora scrunched up her face, sometimes she highly doubted Parker’s judgement, especially after having dinner at Harrington House… she’d never forget that poor pig’s expression. What a waste of a good apple. “You said I’d like caviar and it tasted like the floor of a tuna factory” Parker cringed at her severe lack of a refined palate but held his tongue, she kind of had a point.

They walked up and away from the dock, chatting idly about the latest happenings in their respective cliques. Lenora liked to know what sort of petty things Parker’s friends were bickering about, talk of fistfights over cutlery and severed friendships due to shirt colour made her giggle. Parker just liked to know how the other half lived, he managed to pry stories of bar fights, roller derby fights and fights with potential girlfriends out of Lenora with relative ease, and it was safe to say he enjoyed hearing her perspective on things around Bullworth, Parker didn’t like the rose-tinted aquaberry glasses he’d been sailing through life with. He needed a poorer perspective. A real perspective. “Hey, has Justin been weird with you recently?” he queried, looking over at her with concern. Lenora pulled a face “Define weird” “Like… clingy. Needy ""I mean he offered to help me carry my books… oh my god” her face fell, she really sincerely thought another Prep had wanted to be her friend “He was USING ME?!” “Lenora it’s not like that. Justin he just… he likes you guys, he wants to BE with you guys. He just has a funny way of showing he cares” “Man, go figure, I thought he was all up in Ted’s business.” Lenora wasn’t sure if she’d said something she shouldn’t but after seeing those two getting into some heavy petting in broad daylight, she thought it was fair game “He’s a cool dude, even if he ate all the nut roast last time I came over so I had to sit there and eat spinach for dinner” Parker cringed again, remembering just how sad Lenora had looked as she pushed a heap of sautéed spinach around her plate “Yeah, sorry about that. I did tell them your diet was…. restrictive but clearly they didn’t listen to me”

Eventually, they reached the point of no return, the entrance to Aquaberry. The neon sign captivated Lenora for a good long while. She stood, completely awestruck by its swooping lettering and green glow of the neon inside. She wondered how much it cost to make and light and, considering the temperament of some Bullworth residents… replace. Parker clapped her on the shoulder to stun her out of her daze “I have something I need to take care of, you go in and get yourself comfortable” Lenora looked at him like she’d just been asked to teach a dog Portuguese “What, me? Unattended?” she asked, looking behind at the Outlet and then back towards Parker “Yes, you’ll be alright.” she paused, looked at her outfit. Carefully examining the highly worn fabric of her track uniform, the taped soles of her running shoes and the general unkempt nature of her bare skin: grass stains, cuts, bruises. “Just go in, tell them you’re a friend of the Ogilvie's, they'll warm up, I promise. They’re not bad people they’re just….. wary” Parker’s expression softened and he ushered her in.

Lenora looked around, utterly dazed. She was too afraid to breathe in case she damaged something and had to pay for it. God knew she could barely afford an aquaberry sock let alone anything else. The steward on the door narrowed her eyes at Lenora, who widened hers and smiled in an attempt to look less criminal. It didn’t quite work, and the woman reached for her walkie talkie “Wait wait wait nononono I’m a friend of Parker’s…. Parker Ogilvie?” the steward’s eyes narrowed even further “And where exactly is young Mr Ogilvie?” Her tone carried an intense sense of superiority, despite the fact she was an employee and not a patron. “He’s doing something, honestly, I would never dream of stealing. I’m a good girl, really” “I’m going to put you behind the register… if he doesn’t show up in ten minutes. You’re banned”

Meanwhile, Parker had wandered down to a local craft store and was sifting through the many hundreds of poster paints they had on offer. He already had some poster board tucked underneath his arm and was deciding if glitter paint, or paint and glitter glue would look the best for a staged prom-posal. Eventually, he decided to get all three and some loose glitter and diamantes too. He wanted it to be extravagant and gaudy, Parker couldn’t half ass it. Lenora was counting on him to show up and show out, and admittedly he had been looking for an excuse to give her crappy friends what for. At the register, he artfully dodged questions from the cashier about the nature of his project when he received a string of texts from Lenora, he had a special text tone just for her, not that he’d ever tell her ‘PARKR HALP PLZ’ ‘THEY HAZ ME TRAPPED’ ‘PARKER PLZ HALP THEY R GONNA GET MEH’ He laughed at her stupid typing, but then managed to decode her message. His eyes widened and he snapped his phone shut “Keep the change, thank you have a good day!” he called as he was already out of the door. The cashier looked down at the note in his hands, utterly dumbfounded “This is a hundred…. it was seven bucks”

He was quick to approach Aquaberry, taking the time to preen himself in the window before he stormed in. The clerk scuttled over, all smiles. It wasn’t all that convincing; she looked palpably nervous “Mr Ogilvie, what can we do for you today?” “Well, you can start by releasing my friend” “Hm? Oh” she turned back to Lenora with a disgruntled expression, Lenora waved politely to Parker who was struggling to hold his stern expression. The woman allowed Lenora to go free, and she took her time strolling over to Parker. Hands in her pockets and a smug smile on her lips. “And might I just say how incredibly disgusted I am with your decorum. I have half a mind to take our business elsewhere” Parker stiffened, doing his best impression of Gord when he had one of his shopping tantrums. The woman’s face turned red and she seemed to droop a little, thoroughly embarrassed. “What is your name?” he snapped, knowing full well that he could just read her name tag “Uh… Lillian” “Well Lillian, expect a strongly worded letter from my father in the coming days… I suggest you begin making copies of your resume. I hear that burger place is hiring” He gave her the coldest glare he could muster and folded his arms “Now, we are going to have a private dress fitting and you are going to get someone else to relieve you of your duties of you will lose my family’s patronage. For good.”

Parker stormed off and Lenora followed, matching his stride as they walked towards a private dressing room. She leaned into his ear “Hey nice freak out man, was that off the dome?” “Nooooo, I’ve had that planned for months. It just seemed so fun” “So your dad’s not really gonna send a letter?” “Oh no he absolutely is. For fun if nothing else, he’ll humour me” “…Dope”. Parker opened the door to the dressing room and allowed her to step in, ever the gentleman, Lenora did a weird janky curtsy and took a seat on one of the resplendent teal couches. She pulled a rather large string of pearls out of her pocket, admiring the way they shone in the sickly white light of the room. “Where did you get that?” “What? It was just out, I thought I could grab one… for like, compensation” Parker wanted to be angry, but that was just Lenora. He couldn’t change that. “Okay, does it have a price tag?” “Uhhhhm” Lenora surveyed the necklace, looking for a price. Eventually she found one, showing it to Parker “Hey are these commas or decimals” Parker squinted “Commas. ” “30…. oh my god $30,000 take it off me. I should NOT be holding this. Take it off me now” Parker worked quickly, snatching the pearls out of Lenora’s hands and she lay back on the couch, still reeling. “I have to pee” Parker snorted at her sudden change of topic “Okay, do you know where the bathrooms are?” “There’s a big sign that says Laboratory, isn’t not that is it?” he snorted again, trying really hard to not outright laugh at her “Lenora” “Hm?” she asked, raising herself up off the couch “Lavatory. It means bathroom” “Whatever… same thing”

Parker was greeted by another attendant soon enough, and he shared with him Lenora’s dress size and his general understanding of her colour palette. The worker simply nodded and scurried off to make some selections for him. Lenora struggled with the automatic flushes and which fancy soap bottle was actually soap and not lotion. Rich people must have been confused all the time. Maybe they enjoyed it. Upon exiting the bathroom, she was greeted by a sullen looking Lillian who placed a flute of champagne in her hand. Lenora downed it and barrelled back into the dressing room, excited as ever “Hey you were right, I DO like this place. The creepy door lady just handed me champagne” Parker gestured for her to stand on the little pedestal in the centre of the room “Hey, just don’t have so much of that okay, don’t get drunk and buy an ugly dress”

They cycled through a good number of dresses, and it was usually Parker who turned them down. Lenora wasn’t used to seeing herself all dolled up, it felt alien. It felt wrong.The new attendant had tried her in every colour he could think of: Dark blue, navy blue, ultramarine, baby blue, sap green, sage, salmon pink, lemon yellow, burnt umber, baby pink. The list went on and on and always, it seemed, something was fundamentally wrong with the dress. Exasperated, he went into the archives and pulled out something more delicate, something that had been reserved in the 90’s and abandoned. Plum coloured, spaghetti strapped, a black mesh overlay, delicately beaded to create an intricate ivy design. It was his last resort. Lenora pulled it on, trying her best not to damage it. She could see the way he glared at her tattooed skin, and so tried to clothe herself quickly. He handed her a pair of shoes and sent her out to Parker. He was on the phone to Bryce, trying to convince him to play messenger and let Derby know he couldn’t come to the Prep Meeting that evening, he did a double take and quickly snapped his phone shut. Hanging up without a goodbye “Wow” he hummed, watching how the beads glittered in the light as she twisted to look at herself in the dress “It’s weird isn’t it… ugh” she did another twirl, smoothing her hands down her sides “I hate that I don’t hate it” Parker saw the apprehension on her face, and did his best to try and conquer it “It looks like it was made for we you, it’d be wrong of me to say that it wasn’t perfect.” Lenora paused, she stood stock still in the mirror, talking in her figure. She tried to remember the last time she’d worn a dress, a nice dress. Sometimes if it was free entry for girls at the club she’d put on a shitty, tight and altogether too revealing mini dress or something like that, she found the more leg she exposed, the less the bouncers cared that her ID was fake.

The last time she’d worn a dress like this had been when she was about 13. She had gone to a daddy daughter dance, it was the first and only time she’d seen her father in full military dress uniform and the last time she’d seen him smile. Remembering him, his grizzled face curled up into a grin, the low growl of his voice as he complimented her appearance, the hours he’d spent polishing his medals, it choked her up because now… he was half the world away in Iraq. “I look like… like a girl” she hummed, giving herself a final once over.

With the dress fitting all squared away, Parker paid in cash for the dress and Lenora drove them back to school. They sat back to back for the remainder of the evening, drawing up Parker’s prom-posal poster. Decking it out in so much glitter it was basically a flashbang. Holding it up for one final inspection,Lenora slid her sunglasses over her eyes in one fluid motion, this told Parker it was perfectly garish enough. He set it to dry and snuck her out of the building just as he had snuck her in. Tomorrow afternoon, he’d pull out all the stops on the football field and really make a statement to her two timing jock friends, he’d just have to endure a weekend of agony, waiting to pull his big showstopper… he had to make several calls.

Monday morning came and went, Lenora had slept in and missed most of her pre-lunch classes. She got her pitiful, slimy vegetarian lunch as usual and then retreated to the football field, as per usual, texting Parker to let him know their plan was a-go. She hummed a greeting to Kirby as he took a seat beside her on the bleachers “Hey we’re cool right?” “What?” “Like you’re not mad we don’t wanna go to prom with you?” he leaned a little into her, trying to read her face “What? No, I'm fine. It’s fine” “You missed the clique meeting last night” he hummed, stuffing what was supposed to be a meatball in his mouth “That was last night? Jeez I’m really sorry, I thought it was today” “Jeez? Really? Are you a prep or something man, just say fuck like the rest of us” she scrunched up her nose a little bit “I’m trying to cut down on the swearing… it makes us sound uneducated” Kirby snorted and went back to eating his lunch. Lenora was acting crazy weird, but it was likely she was just sober and bummed out. Kirby considered Lenora a good friend, but not good enough to rob him of some action at prom. She understood.

As if on cue to break up the weird tension, Parker appeared with a boombox on his shoulder, heart shaped sunglasses over his eyes, tailed by two large men in suits. Out of the boombox began to rattle the sultry sounds of Aerosmith. A band he'd never heard in his entire life. He placed it onto the grass and whipped out a megaphone from behind his back and began to sing, in key but it was clear he’d only barely learned the lyrics. The speaker was hardly good quality, so his voice was crackly as well as loud. “DONT WANNA CLOOOSE MY EYES, I DONT WANNA FAALLL ASLEEP, CUZ I MISS YOU BABE, AND I DONT WANNA MISS A THIIING”

Lenora put her hands over her face, to her confused meathead friends she just looked bashful, but underneath, she was giggling like a lunatic. He pulled the sign from his back as the instrumental soared, and Lenora was really losing composure. Then as a small crowd gathered, Parker’s large assistants released at least 200 beautiful turtle doves into the air. Lenora scuttled down the steps of the bleachers to partly to wrap Parker in a tight embrace, but also to avoid the hail of bird droppings pelting the football field “Oh Parker,” she sighed, lifting him off the floor to spin him around “You committed social suicide for me… thank you” “Oh don’t thank me, thank my father. He paid for the birds” “You got a little….” Lenora pulled back and giggled, noticing a small white streak in his usually jet black hair “Yes yes I know, I’m trying to ignore it” “Okay buddy, coffee?” “Sure” The pair strolled off, meanwhile the spectating jocks now found themselves fighting for their lives against a sea of very agitated doves “AW SICK! THAT PIGEON IS GONNA GET SOME SERIOUS POUNDCAKE” Lenora looked back over her shoulder to a very angry, very bird poop soaked Kirby “… we should leave” “Yes, yes we should”

Days turned into weeks and then in the blink of a lazy writer’s eye, prom night was upon Bullworth like a blanket over a misbehaving parrot’s cage, or some rare disease that makes students of all kinds raid cosmetics stores and costume jewellery sellers’ stalls like looters in the midst of an apocalypse. Parker invited Lenora into Harrington house freely, knowing full well that his friends were at each others’ throats about the cuts of their tuxedos and the fabric of their pocket squares. Harrington house was as close to chaos as it would ever come, Bif was not manning the door like usual, so she was free to waltz in, touch antiques and take silverware. Parker was yet to dress, he wouldn’t take long, he never did. He decided to get Lenora all set up with his expansive team of hair and makeup minions and get ready in his room. Lenora never wore makeup. Not because she didn’t want to, all the ladies she had crushes on had perfectly made up faces, she thought it looked so beautiful; but everything she needed to do her own makeup properly was too big to steal and too expensive to buy. She liked the feel of the brushes on her face. Sometimes when her mother wasn’t home as a very small child she used to run them over her skin to enjoy the sensation. “What do I ask them for?” “Don’t worry, I’ve already briefed them. Just sit and look pretty, okay?”

Downstairs, chaos reigned. It sounded like alley cats fighting over scraps of a discarded sandwich. Lenora swore she could hear vases breaking. She didn’t even know that jackets had different cuts, in her eyes she thought a suit was just a suit. Plain and simple: you get your little shirt, your jacket with big shoulder pads, your slacks and your little tap dancing shoes on, she also knew sometimes if you were feeling really fancy you’d put a tie on, so that when you got drunk you could tie it around your head and pretend to be Rambo. The hair ladies were ruthless, wetting and yanking at the knots in the mess of Lenora’s curls, slathering on about 50 sweet smelling products, twisting, pulling and pinning so close to her scalp she swore the bobby pins were scraping her skull. They didn’t hand her a mirror, but simply switched places with the loitering makeup artists, much like the football team swapped out their offensive players for their defensive counterparts. The makeup girls were significantly kinder but not altogether gentle. They talked her through what needed to be done, and what to do. Blink when they applied her mascara, suck her cheeks in like a fish when they applied her blush, pucker really hard when applying her lipstick. Eventually, they stepped back and handed her a mirror. Once she got over the absurdity of her hair all twisted up like a pineapple and a tiara of assuredly real precious gems slid into the cleft of it, the majesty of the beaded dress, neatly protected by a cape for a good amount of the makeup process and the half tonne of clown paint on her face she found that she looked rather… pretty.. Like a princess. Like a real girl.

Parker had walked into the room part way through Lenora’s base makeup having gotten bored reorganising some of the photos in files on his computer, and watched her talk so easily to his assistants. Chatting like she’d known them for years. Eventually, he crept up behind her and she, naturally, reacted with violence. After barely avoiding a mirror swing, Parker tilted Lenora’s chin up so she was looking at him. Her lashes fluttered over her cheeks for a second “You look like a penguin” she giggled, admiring his black and white suit, with little pops of purple just like her dress. He made a weird face and she rushed to rectify her blunder “That’s a compliment, I promise. Penguins are great, I love penguins” Parker released a burst of air through his nose, trying to keep a snort from leaving. it instead “Thanks” he hummed, not letting his hand leave her face “Yknow if I was straight I’d have a fat crush on you, those girls are missing out” “And don’t I know it… can I interest you in a corsage” “Indeed you can, thank you” He fiddled with it, getting it nicely on her wrist. The flowers were gorgeous, neatly arranged and all the most gorgeous shade of deep purple. He placed his matching boutonnière in her hand and proudly presented his chest for her to pin.

Lenora reached her hands up to smooth Parker’s collar. Slim, nimble digits smoothed out the small creases and divots in the fabric, and trailed down to his lapel where she pinned his boutonnière “You’re gonna make some girl very happy someday, Ogilvie” She said with a voice dripping in fondness, and a smile on her lips. He looked up at her with a wry smile, placing his smaller hands on top of hers on his lapel “Hey…. I already have” Lenora tried hard not to weep “Hey, don’t cry, I spent good money on that makeup, stop it” Parker chided playfully, using his thumb to gently wipe a tear that had betrayed her. Large and fat and glistening like a pearl in the dim light of the rising moon. “Sorry, sorry… thank you Parker” he smiled reassuringly “Hey, don’t be sorry for being my friend, It’s my honour and…” he checked his watch before offering his arm to Lenora, much taller than usual in her designer heels “Your carriage awaits, milady” “Milord” she replied, dabbing her eyes gently before the pair of them retreated from Harrington house to tear up the dance floor.

[truegodofthearena]

Well well well… I actually ended up loving today’s Tere Bin episode after some time. And surprisingly NOT because of any MM scene. There weren’t any other than flashbacks but oh how it pulled at my heartstrings 🥺

- Yumna Zaidi: say what you will about meerab and her warped logic, but man does Yumna’s acting save meerab every time. You think you won’t forgive meerab this time, but then Yumna acts and the rest is history. She owns the screen

- the gold chain scene !!! The way she gives that away instead of money and then remembers how he once helped her wear it. That moment. MY HEART. THEM. I CANT DEALLLLL. Everything reminded her of him. Everything !!!

- WAHAJ: first of all that black kurta is just sinfully hot on him. How dare he. Angst shouldn’t look this tempting. I love love love that entire scene. This is where you have to give tere bin credit. It really knows how to use its side characters well to serve the story. The Murtasim Bakhtu scene is a GEM. The dialogue. “Aap ne kabhi Khud ko loota hai?” Wow. He’s in pain because it was their first time and it happened while their trust was broken, they fought, and it was a total mess. Because in his heart, what could have been? If they had been in a better place and it had been a tender moment instead of rage and chaos driven. He waited forever for her and when they finally came together it happened under terrible circumstances. And bakhtu… such a precious loyal angel. Officially murtasim’s confidante. “Apna dil qaabu main rakhain. Bohat raaz hain dafan es main” “Aap pe 100 jaan qurbaan” won my heart

- “Main marr gya hoon keh khan ko aise bulla rahe ho?” 😂😂😂 It was a bakhtu win day today

- the way murtasim enters the house … just completely broken. Shawl barely hanging on. Totally defeated. Wahaj nailed that moment

- Nauraiz becoming Murtasim 2.0. The way he stood up for maryam and silenced Maa Begum and Murtasim. 👏 👏 👏 I knew maryam did the right thing confiding in this guy. At least one couple is off to a great start in marriage.

- my only qualm in this episode is why why WHY murtasim FAILS TO ADDRESS HAYA. Dude, she was the reason you and meerab fought, she literally tricked and hugged you less than 12 hours ago, you told her you’ll see to her if she doesn’t confess and yet… you continue to do NOTHING about this huge problem. No wonder meerab has had enough. The way murtasim deals with haya after he finds out something she did is completely unacceptable. He’s so lenient ! What is this behavior. I hate this aspect of him. Deal with this woman already. Send her to the village. Set her up with someone. ANYTHING

Even Nauraiz didn’t tell everyone out loud it was haya who lied to him. Another act of hers that went unpunished. It would be so unsatisfying if she is dealt with in the very last episode. Because she’s annoyed the audience for almost 50 episodes now. She needs to get her due and soon

Anyway looking forward to the next episode: murtasim is gonna lose it when he finds out meerab is gone. Furious, on edge murtasim is always a treat to watch. Guess what he’s gonna say a lot: MERI BIWI 😂😂 I love him your honor

[woolywoofs]

I wanted to post a little update. And ask for a little help, again (paypal posted below, please dont feel pressured! you and your needs come first always).

Moppa and I are still grieving Skvetta, but we are managing now. She can be left alone now without panicking and she no longer searched for her in the yard.

I had my tonsils taken out last friday, on my birthday lol. Surgery itself went well, but beforehand did not. My IV infiltrated and all of the meds to calm me down and put me to sleep just went into my soft tissue. It was extremely painful and I started to have a panic attack on the table because of it + the oxygen mask makes me feel like im suffocating (i know it doesnt make sense haha). All hands on deck after that and I had 3 people on me at once sticking me trying to get IVs in me but my veins just kept breaking. It was actual hell and felt like forever.

Recovery has been a hot mess honestly. The first 3 days were fine and since then its been reaaal bad. The ear, throat and tongue pain is unreal. I am drugged out of my mind because pain/stress is a huge seizure trigger for me, but at this point it is not really working. I did have 1 bad seizure, to a point where i had broken capillaries in my face. But thankfully it didnt create any issues with my surgery recovery. Im hoping things will start improving soon.

Generally my epilepsy has fucked up a lot. My short term memory is messed up and I have lost some skill sets after the bad seizures. I have been re-learning how to draw and paint! It is a very tedious process but i really feel like im making progress.

My autoimmune disease has been lowkey out of control and I saw my rheumo and I am going back on a low dose chemo drug. It really did help last time, it just made me so sick. But we will be looking into every option to control my nausea etc! So im trying to be hopeful. Ill start once im completely healed from my tonsillectomy, since the meds make you more likely to get infections and slows healing.

My uterus has also been absolutely fucked, once again. We were really hoping that removing the mass, scraping my uterus and putting the IUD would stop the bleeding, and it did, for 6 months. But im having issues again and I saw a specialist and we decided that the only option left for me is a hysterectomy. There is a year long wait though. This wasnt exactly on my list of things to do at 27.. but i suppose it is what it is.

Now for some good. Moppa is healthy and happy. She was attacked by a dog in september and got a bad gash but shes completely healed! She loves the fenced yard. We have been working on nosework stuff when im feeling okay enough for it! She is honestly such a light in the dark and I love her.

I get to renew my lease next year so i dont have to worry about housing!! Rent will be increasing bc inflation but im okay with swapping some meals with ramen to make things work, when I cant make extra money. I have been learning how to quilt!! My grandma does it a lot and i asked her to teach me so I am working on a project with her.

While things are generally a hot mess right now, i am mostly okay. And i feel like thats a big improvement for me, im not sure I would have handled all this a year ago. And im proud of myself.

With everything going on, I have obviously been unable to do commissions, or taking in dogsitting clients or anything i typically do to make money. If anyone is able to help, it is really appreciated. *This is my PayPal*, im afraid its my only way to receive anything. *any* amount helps. I really hope this is the last time i ever have to ask for anything. I feel like things are going to turn around now that we have solid plans to help with my health issues. The hope is that once my uterus is out and the low dose chemo has gotten my overall pain under control, that my epilepsy will chill out. It seems to be easily triggered via pain and hormones.

Thanks to anyone who had the patience to read this thing. I just havent posted an update in so long that there was a lot to say 😅 i am going to start being more active on here as ai really miss it. I will include the 2 art pieces I managed to make and finish. It took forever to figure everything out but im proud of myself. Quality may be a little destroyed bc tumblr likes to do that... i really hope i can offer commissions again soon. I might choose a person or two at random that donates and do a ghost commission like below for them? I can at least try. But youd have to message me on here after donating so i know who you are, i think i can attempt dog, cat or rabbit. But i cant promise anything.

I talked forever, im so sorry lol. Here is the paypal again because its definitely lost up there in the babble

Just to end this.. Has anyone here had a tonsillectomy as an adult and can tell me at what point it got better?

[aamethyst000]

i didn't realize exacctly how slow my progress will be (july 9,24 - 10:56pm)

holy fuck i did not realize how slow my progress in life will be! it feels so weird to be 26. like, not only the progress of my name and gender change, im talking about my progress in life! the changes im gonna have, the hardships ill probably cry to. i thought teenage life was hard, no siree. the adult life is difficult. once the adults before you leave you alone to be independent and strong and whatnot, they all end up telling you how wrong you are and how you're living life wrong. one side is trying to control how you live, the other wants you to be dependant and independent and some how balance that out on your own. anyway, getting off track here. today i woke up feeling lazy but also feeling pretty good about myself! i actually wanted to clean the house and do the dishes without complaint! which is a rare thing for me since teenage hood. it can get pretty bad on most days. my little brother and i did the dishes today and a little bit of sweeping. i am planning on doing the rest of the house chores tomorrow and start on the towels that were supposed to be done last week. which kind of sucks that it is only me doing the laundry, but what the hell can i do when we got my mothers' brother staying and only doing his own laundry, a 17 who is overly cranky, yknow, normal teenager bs, hes gotta do his own laundry whether he likes it or not. and a mother whose arthiritis hurts her enire body and really bad insomnia. 10 year old me would be very surprised of where i am at right now and 14 year old me would be very confused.

july 11,24 - 11:16pm - just got through washing the dishes and cleaned up a bit in the living room. finally and now i have time to clean up my room and start washing the towels, we desparately need clean towels considering how hot the weather will be this week. you know the funny thing about this? i have stopped taking my anti depressants for nearly a month now! i think i only need to take them during the winter. they seem to work better by then, which is weird to me. anyway, now that i have more trans tapes, im going to wash the towels tomorrow and have a bath by the next day. my poor room has been a mess for too long now and it has been bugging me for a couple of days. doing this will help me feel better about buying myself a new 3ds and cases for it, being more prepared about taking care of it than i did the first time around. i ended up buying another black 3ds, kinda thought i wanted a white one but i ended up changing my mind part way through the search of the new 3ds. i found one for somewhat cheap that came up to 195 plus 10 shipping which was fckn awesome! i so cant wait till they arrive now. though they wont be here till the first week of next month. i know ill be impatient about it but that is not new at all lmao im impatient with every perchase i make, i just gotta keep myself distracted till the items get here.

july 18,24 3:43am - i am planning on rearranging my room to open up the air vent in my room. since i bought the 3ds, i feel like i need to ''earn''' when it finally arrives here, but i am hoping to god that it works for me or id cry. well, not really, i'd be sad about it but wouldnt do nothing about it until i have enough money to save again to buy another 3ds. hopefully it wont come to that at any point for me. anyway, as im typing this out, i am wathcing chuggaconnroy's lets play of kirby 3ds. i heard about his recent..situation, not happy to hear it and not sure how to feel, not entirely anyway. not gonna lie, it kind of sucks and nearly ruined my day. im better now, i heard about this a week ago, so im fine. i think. i havent been able to go to sleep at a reasonable time lately and it sucks. some nights i dont go to sleep until it is literally gets really bright outside (5am or 7am), i did not think id be slowly devolping insomnia at the age of 26. though, i shouldnt be too surprised considering the fact that my whole ass family has it and possibly autism or adhd. not gonna lie, my whole family is a mess. but they are my mess, i guess. you ever feel that way? they are not the best, toxic in their own way (the older ones, not my cousins), when it some down to it, they are there for you (until they sabotage that closeness during any death) they seem to have continued the generational trauma. i hope my cousins are doing alright, some if them have a kid or two, others are single or childless, but they all have a decent job that helps them keep their apartment. so, i hope they are doing well.

by this point, i have one more journal entry to edit and double check on, and a set of papers to look for in my room. i was supposed to mail it back to the place i was getting my legal (now dead)name to my current one, it is coming up to a year so that it is my own fault on that one, considering that all i needed to do was give them the signed papers that i have right now. well, i can do that now and be a bloody adult about it instead of putting it off for tomorrow, every single day. is it weird to still feel like a teenager (16-7) at the age of 26? should i go to therapy for this? is this normal or should i be worried? does every other adult feel like this? and not just me and my friends possibly being delusional or just dramatic about it. either way, i am not entirely sure if ill find the answer or if itll be given to me. i am going to have a puff and then head to bed, it is already very late so im gonna have a puff and enjoy whatever sleep i can get. good night/day, readers!

[quieteclipse]

extremiun yapping about my current sims gameplay below lmao

i think i've had some really interesting sims gameplay for the first time in a while (for me personally) and it's all because i've been struggling with getting my sim's love life started.

usually it's so easy, but i'm doing my best to take relationship differences into consideration and not just jumping into something unhappy (for the long run at least....she's definitely jumped head first into am unhappy relationship & situationship lol).

but the upside is that everything else has been going great and i love that. she graduated high school early, got a distinguished degree in computer science, enough scholarships to give her a full ride, and even graduated uni before aging up to a young adult (though that is specifically because of the shorter uni mod lmao). she started at level 8 in her career and is now level 9 i believe and what was once the shitty starter home in copperdale has now been upgraded to a pretty decent house—without cheating! of course it doesn't look great on the outside because i'm not a builder, but it's what's inside that counts <3

i have one more potential beau for her in mind before i give it up for a little while and just have her adopt a kid (because she really wants to start her family now). and i say adopt because despite her having high fertility, she's been struggling getting pregnant, which is so insane to me considering her longtime situationship (wolfgang munch) ALSO has high fertility.

honestly, she's in her depression era rn (she gained the gloomy trait), so idk if i want to explore that final potential love interest just yet. she currently has the soulmate aspiration, but i think i'll change it to a nature one. i want her to reconnect with her old hobby of fishing since she doesn't have to do it for money anymore. and maybe this will help move along the storyline of her meeting and befriending her final potential love interest. since she hasn't really put much effort into her friendships in a while. usually she'd talk to people enough to know them and then she'd add them on social bunny and the relationships would take off from there.

honestly, it's been so fun having her life have its ups and downs.

in the beginning, she was social awkward and hot headed (which were randomized traits), which inspired my storyline that her parents unexpectedly died and the rest of her family took most of her inheritance (which she ended up getting a little bit of back through that one pop up), so she had to move to copperfield and majorly downsize from her previous wealthy life (since i dressed her up all rich girl preppy before i came up with a storyline).

i changed her traits to outgoing and self-assured when she aged up because being socially awkward and hotheaded did nothing to deter her from making hella friends and fast too. and because of this, through the talents & weaknesses mod, i also gave her the talent of being charismatic. i also eventually gave her the talent for programming bc it really came to her so easily; i think she leveled uo pretty quick and always had successful hacks even when she had a lower skill.

going back to her love life bc i cant stop fixating on it and that's where most of the ups & downs lie.

primarily, i'm obsessed with the constant push & pull between her and wolfgang. even though he prefers non-exclusive relationships and she prefers exclusive ones, which caused their most recent split (still unofficial as of now bc my game kept bugging out too much for me to get anywhere else, so now i must wait for the next weekend).

but to start from the beginning: in high school, malcom landgraab asked her to prom and i was gonna do a storyline where she dated him briefly to be petty since wolfgang was playing around (and also bc she was lowkey freaked by him since he kept somehow barging into her house???), but he literally never spoke to her again after he ditched her at prom (that HE invited her to mind you).

anyways, my sim (helena) decided to invite wolfgang to the usual prom after party at the pier (which i'm pretty sure he got dressed up for despite not going to prom. and i had them go on the scary ride first and then i tried helena's luck with the romantic ride and it worked!!! wolfgang was feeling her like she was feeling him and theu shared their first kiss!! but then he started playing games afterwards. which, come to find out, he viewed her as basic looking. for the longest time i thought they struggled to gain romance because wolfgang was mean & gloomy, but no!

so after that, i started trying to have helena forget about wolfgang and try out some other options.....which she didnt get very far. i was going to have her date this guy named ocean from her uni, but she got wrapped back up in wolfgang and those two ended up becoming friends with benefits.

very soon after, she became queerplatonic partners with aurelio.

now, her and aurelio became quick besties in their later teen years and i was shipping them so hard until i read his sim bio and learned that he was aroace. but they did end up getting a bit of romance even after i secured his preferences (or lack thereof) in CAS, but he also had a dislike for flirtation so there was that. later on, though, i remembered i had the mod that can specify orientation, so i made him romance/relationship favorable (though i wish i had kept it at indifferent) and woohoo averse.

i think i missed up at one point by choosing an interaction where she asked aurelio to be more than friends bc i really didnt think it did anything lmaooooo but they ended up becoming bf & gf. which sucked bc she had to break up with him twice....and this was bc he had the jealous trait and kept antagonizing her about their relationship problems??? despite them having only been together for not even a full sim day, i dont think????

chile, anyways...

i'm pretty sure she had also ended her fwb relationship with wolfgang for aurelio bc i totally forgot about that before starting anything with aurelio.

but honestly it didnt really mean anything bc i had her invite him (and others) over for new year's for a little dinner party (which idk why i do parties in my game anymore bc they never work right), and they ended up banging on the couch, in front of jeb & ocean (who, btw, also propositioned her for sex....which i accepted at first, but then denied immediately after). i felt bad for having them do that in the living roo. bc aurelio literally left the house (he was staying over btw).

anyways, after all that craziness. she ended up inviting wolfgang over again and they whoohoo'd a lot. which is where we discovered that despite bith her and wolfgang having high fertility, helena just was not getting pregnant. apparently she is also prone to having issues during pregnancy, so i'm worried about that.

due to them not getting pregnant naturally, i was gonna have helena ask wolfgang to have a science baby with her, but like i saod earlier, this is where my game really started to lag so bad i genuinely couldn't get anybody to do anything.

this era is so sad bc i had extended the house and redecorated for a potential baby and it just wasnt happening, so i ended up deleting all the baby stuff and turning the extra room into a guest room.

but i also feel bad bc i wanted helena to move out of copperdale tbh (also i might've called it copperfield somewhere earlier. i found one incident & changed it, but i could've sworn there was another, but i'm not looking for it). but i like the progress i've made on her house, i'd feel too sad to move out already. but the lot honestly isn't big enough anymore. i think i want her to have a pool even though it's still early spring in my game rn (i think i want to change the length of the seasons tho....a week is just too short).

also, i think i might finally make that switch to long life span....i want to cherish helena's young adult years, especially with what i have planned. and i dont want her adult years to be rushed either.

i'm hoping she either finds genuine love and friendship with this ken guy she had a sexy dream about once, or wolfgang suddenly wants to settle down....or maybe, she'll find someone else idk. i wish i had a proper computer setup so i wouldnt be so irritated by the lag that happens whenever going off my home lot, bc i'd love for helena to go out clubbing and exploring.

either way, i'm excited for her to adopt a child too. i definitely think that will be the next step for her, especially with her problems with conceiving. and i think i'll finally move to the world that came with the horse pack, bc i havent done a single damn thing with that pack yet (besides this one random sim i made live there at one point, her save was a random throwaway save tho). i only just recently seen an actual horse in game with helena bc aurelio'a family adopted one. i've pretty much been everywhere else.

anyways, i think i'm all yapped out about my current sim. i can't wait to play her again, but i might just wait until school is officially out until i do play my game again. i'm so invested in helena's story, just playing on weekends isnt going to cut it anymore.

i really do hope this is the gameplsy where i can actually continue a legacy. but if it is, i desperately need to start taking more pics with helena's friends. i missed their teen years (besides with wolfgang...of course), i don't want to miss their young adult ones.

[snowrabbit-the-yandere-hoe]

He found me

______________________________________________________________

warings: stalking, threatning, no use of Y/N, you/yours, use of nicknames, swaring, mentioned kidnapping, mentiond feminyzation, gramer mistakes, mentioned murderer ______________________________________________________________

Readers POV

im not sure when i first saw Jester. Was it when i first moved here? or when he came to order coffie or perhaps... no thets not posible he couldnt have been there but still he doues fit the little description we had tall and with unrully brown hair no what im i thinking a lot of man much this discription. But he still feels fami-"____!" "huh?!" "whats going thrue thet head of yours sweetheart" "please dont cell me thet" "sure~" i sight as i shook my head before asking "the usuall?" "not today" thet suprised me a bit espeshally the fact thet he sed it calmly insted of his usual flirtyness "what do you recomend Darling" "ah there it is" i touth to myself before speaking "then i recomend (F/D) and i told you to not call me thet" "you didnt" "i did" "did not you sed not to cell you sweetheart" i gave him the im done with you look "well just call me by my name you alredy know it "as you wish" i gave him his drink before i moved to serve other costomers once i returned to where he was seated. The seat was allredy empty with some money left on the table i shook my head as i took the money and cleened up the table as i continued with my day. And soon enough my shift ended and i could go home. As i was locking up i couth a glims of goldish white mask and quicly tournd around only to see an empty street "fuck" i swore quaietly to myself as i started speed walking home trying to act like nothigs wrong until i saw my house and started sprinting i quickly unlooked the door walked in and shut them bihained me "fuuck" i sed in a shaky voise "guess Im moving again" i continued as i toured the light on in my kitchen "hi~" came a rather ethuastic voice from bihand me "i finaly found you~" how long?" i tournd around only to be met with a Jesters mask "oh dont look at me like thet" i could hear the pount in his voice moking me "how. long."i repided myself firmly with venom seeping thour my teath "oh how firce are you~ but to answer our question long enough for you to know how to make my coffie by heart by the way you own a really nice caffe would be a real shame if it had to close down if the owner was to disapire or its costemers were i dont know founed death just next door every single one one ofter a nother" "what. do. you. want." "calm down darling you dont want to repite the incident now do you" "answer the fucking question" "alride~ alride~ its quait simple really i want you but~" " but what some kind of a nother twisted game of yours?" " no no i mean i allredy tried and i can continue but no mather how patient im i just cant wait thet long for you to come to me willingly so i want a compromaise" "and why woul i agree to thet?" "simple becouse i wont kill anyone thet you interact with and you can keep your freedom" "your laying you just want me to drop my gaurd so you can kidnapp me" "oh darlin no if i wanted to kidnapp you i would allredy done so" "asshole and what will you get out of this" "hmm how about i will get to sleep in the same bed as you and i will get to dress you once a week im sure a nice green dress would look good on you~" "no way!" "fine fine i wont dress you" he singed disapointedly "the fact thet you want to shere a bed is even worse!" i yeled at him "let go of me!" i yelped as he thrue me over his shoulder "i sed let go!" i hit his back as hard as i could making him hiss " come on sweetheart its not like this is the first time we slept in a same bed" "you what!?" " dont worry i wont touch you inaproprietly not withount your concent at least now of to bed you go" he thrue me on the bed before joining me "let go!" i tried to get out of his grip " let go god dam-" "shh~" he covered my mouth "sleep"

[throwing-up-my-heart]

I guess what really started all of this is the fact that I wasn't meant to be here in the first place my very existence is an accident and it makes me feel as if though I will never be enough preemptively.

They pre-ordered a child who does not feel like they should exist and they get mad whenever I tell them I do not want to be here simply because they are my parents and they see that they're entitled to be in charge of my emotions because I'm not old enough to handle them.

I'm not old enough to handle my own emotions yet I am apparently old enough to take my place in their footsteps and work a job at 15.

I feel like I am being forced out of my own home I feel like a loner, I feel like an unwanted presence in my own house, I am not yet an adult and I don't want to be. I was raised to grow up quickly grow up fast, I am the burnout child,

I was smart... I used to be smart. My brain overdeveloped too quickly so that way once I started getting more of my own pace nothing interested me anymore.

Nothing but the books that filled my incessant fantasies and filled the void in which I felt the nothingness or the appreciation of my parents was supposed to lay.

At the age of 10, I experienced what it was like to have to take care of myself and its entirety. At the age of 10, My brain felt like it was already caving in.

I couldn't help but feel alone even when I was at home.

It only felt like a cell deep inside of an endless empty shell, I could hear the ocean call to me I was so close to freedom I could smell it.

"Don't you worry, well always be there" These words did nothing, they just filled the empty ever rotting air with lies and deceit, expecting me to continuously weep but I didn't?

I couldn't.

I couldn't cry when I knew other people die every day for problems that I knew I only thought I had.

It's all in my head.

It's ALL in my Head... IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD.

That's it.

Then I was 12. My first best friend was mentally abusive and so was my boyfriend, they set the standards for how I should be loved.

This is what I deserved... Body, "I love your body." "Take it off for me baby"

"You're so pretty"

Off...please get OFF

My best friend's brother couldn't keep his hands off.

This is what im meant for.

Pretty, Only to please.

Ok.

13.

I have 3 friends, is this where it ends?

They all want to end it...

Should I?

Should I cry?

Or..should I man up and try...

Wait

WAIT

No

My family would cry...

Or would they...

I wrote my first suicide note at 10, I could do it again.

Would, they miss me?

"You look upset"

I cant cut

They'd see...

Scratch

SCRATCH

A staple will work

"Why do you make everyone's life so DIFFICULT?"

Ouch.

9 mental breakdowns later.

Life is good. Right here. Stay here. I am good. Right here. Friends. Grades. School. Yes. yes. yes.

NO

Weeks...2 weeks...years..2 YEARS

Grades? Im failing? Friends? Im flailing, im drowning, please help I can only swim down...

Mom...mom doesnt love dad

She doesnt love me

What about family??

WOrk?

WORK?

Please im only 15...

I dont wanna grow up...help..please...I hurt...

Daddy cant leave..only source of money

...mommy won't care..she'll find another man somewhere...

My mind is racing with endless hunger pains..I cant feel...im sick of feeling.

Happy,

Why cant

I

Just..be

Happy.

[pokerobbo]

New Year, New Me...

If you are reading this then I have successfully tricked you into giving a damn about the change process I am undertaking... I hope its riveting.

The purpose of this blog will be for me to provide weekly updates and reflections on what is happening in my life. Some content will be darker than a block of gold chocolate, other content not so much.. Either way; whether you like it or not by reading this you're about to find out a heck of a lot about me!

New years. The time of year when some people signal the end of the holiday period, some people get ridiculously 'lit' in an attempt to leave a 'crappy' year behind and nearly everyone comes up with a list of goals and aspirations that they intend to stick with for the whole year but in reality forget about by the end if January (believe me, I'm the king of that). With that said the following is my list of hopefully unbroken promises.

Get rid of all consumer debt!

Currently as it stands I have around $9800 of consumer debt; to be fair a large portion of that is made up of credit cards that I used when I relocated for my new job in 2019. Apparently furnishing a house can be quite expensive! who knew right? The rest of it is made up of Zip Pay and Afterpay of which I probably could have waited until I had the spare money to purchase.

Before Christmas I felt a bit down and as a result I took put a small loan to buy some things that I thought would provide happiness. I get that habit from my mother. To mask her sadness she used to spend money which worked.. until she wasted thousands of dollars and ran out of money... but thats another story for another time. In hindsight its not a big deal. I make more than enough to pay it off quickly; but that's counter productive to the whole notion of a debt free 2024!

Drop down to 100KG

I have always been a big lad. Genetically my shoulders are quite broad (Thanks Grandpa) and my legs are like tree trunks from my teenage Rugby playing days. I cant count as high as the amount of times I have said "right its time to lose weight"; which usually lasts until driving home from the gym and I see that the Micky D's drive through is open.

In November 2021 before I relocated to Port Augusta from Port Lincoln I was a hefty 142KG. My diet consisted largely of 2L classic choccy milk, Noodle Bento and anything fried... Gradually through making small changes subconsciously in September 2022 I slimmed down to about 132KG. One day in September I decided id had enough. I joined the Gym as a way to get out of the house abit more; then to add the extra pressure I enlisted in the services of a Personal Trainer. We both appreciate and hate him depending on the day. At first I was going to the Gym just when I had sessions but recently I have started going 4 mornings a week at 6:30am (which anyone who knows me will testify that is a massive thing for me. Mornings can get fucked). Long story short I am down to 124KG now with the goal of hitting 100KG by the end of 2023.

Grow PokeRobbo Collectables by 10%

PokeRobbo Collectables is a business I have started. Once I'm clear of consumer debt ill be saving up a decent amount of capital to spend on Pokemon Cards and Video Games with the goal of reselling them. 10% is a modest goal one that should be easy to achieve.

Only drinking twice

Not going to be a hard one as Im not a big drinker. Anyone who has crossed paths with Drunk Alex will atest that he is an absolute blast (or Menace) depending on who you ask..

No Betting.

Ah Gambling. The silent addiction. In my opinion it is the most dangerous addiction because of how easy it is to hide. You see a meth addict or an alcoholic you can instantly tell what's up. Try doing that with a gambling addict. I bet ya 50 bucks you cant.

I've never been one to over indulge in alcohol and I've never even had a cigarette yet alone harder drugs but I have certainly felt the pinch of addiction. In the past my gambling habit has always been something that my friends knew about but only one of them knows the full extent of how bad it got at one stage (we'll call him Rick Hernandez) until now that is.

In 2018 at its worst I was spending roughly $3000 a week on sports betting.. however I was winning so I thought it was okay. Its easy to downplay how much you have spent when you walk away with more than you spent. The fact remains though. I still spent $3000 a week sometimes. Pokies have never been an issue for me. I play them occasionally ( like 20 bucks a time when i go out for dinner) but I have never really been interested by the bright lights.

In 2020 I made the decision to seek some help and also bar myself from over the counter TABs in South Australia and at the time all it did was increase my online betting. I closed all my accounts. I found friends to do it for me. The cycle continues. Until now that is.

I have enough self control that I only ever Gamble once all of my bills are paid and there is food on my table. Although the money I gamble with is my recreational or left over money when I think about all of the things I could do with that money instead its frustrating.

Either way. 2023 onwards no more sports betting.

That'll do for my first post. Ill be posting weekly updates on my progress. I dont take the above very lightly. Ill be taking life one day at a time and who knows... Maybe, Just Maybe we might make it out of 2023 alive!

Much love.

[augustify]

Some days feel like this.

11/15/2022

I am so lonley. I spend almost every single day alone until Aster comes home. Most days I dont know what the hell to do with myself. I am bored and I am lonely. Most people work a job throughout their day and come home and relax. Well I am at home all freaking day long. Im tired of doing chores every day. Aster wants this house to look like no one lives in it and nothing gets touched and everything is in its place every single day. Well yeah its comething for me to do everyday but im getting tired of it. Its boring and unfullfilling. I want to get out of this house. I keep thinking about applying for a job but i know I wouldnt last long term anyway. Im also not suposed to while I wait for disability. I think about going into town to find something to do but once I get into town I have no idea what I would do with myself. Maybe go walk at a park or someting but its really cold outside these days. Winter is going to hit hard this year and its suposed to be the coldest winter we have had in awhile. I am just so bored. It makes me miss drinking. Drinking and talking to people. Drinking and escaping the boringness of my reality. But no i dont get to do that because i cause too many problems when i start drinking. Plus i want to be healthy and fit and drinking doesnt help that lifestyle but i dont engange in the healthy lifestyle anyway. I just dont know what to do with myself. I cant find a hobby other than reading that i like but i also dont want to spend every day reading away my life. Thats what my cousin does and she doesnt seem happy either. I mean its cool to read a bunch of books in a week but laying in bed and staying at home and reading all day sounds boring these past few days. She also isnt working and shes bored and lonely a lot too. Apparently we are pretty much in the same boat right now. I want to stop taking my antabuse so I can enjoy some poison every once in awhile. Go to the bar when Aster is asleep. Make friends of my own. She goes to work and at least gets to have some form of social interaction. The only form of social interaction i get is with my dogs and when i go to my families house. Also I play viddeo games and talk to Jason and Richard but thats it. I miss going to the bars. I miss going to the bars. I miss going to the bars. I miss going to the bars. I miss getting drunk. I miss getting drunk. I mis getting drunk. I miss getting drunk. I miss getting stupid with my friends. I miss getting stupid with my friends. I miss getting stupid with my friends. I miss getting stupid with my friends. I dont care that Im 26. I dont care that im 26. i dont care that i am 26. I dont care that i am 26. I cant work anyway so why that hell cant i just enjoy myself and do whatever the hell i want. I wish Aster didnt care so much . I wish my family didnt care so much about it. Im so fucking bored with my life. Things get so boring after awhile. Im tired of doing the same boring things everyday. I dont even have money to do what the hell i want anyway. I dont know why the only thing i want to do is get drunk as a form of entertainment. But i love it. I dont love the hang overs but apparently its worth it. Doesnt feel worth it while im hungover but i would keep coming back anyway because i enjoyed the night. And here i am just writing and writing and writing about the same shit i have been writing and thinking about for years. I have been sober since september and god damn i dont want to be sober anymore. I want to DRINK. i want to DRINK. i want to DRINK. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. Sometimes i think if i say it enough i wont want do it so bad. Thats what they teach you in AA. But ive said it a thousand times and i want to do it even more now. Im not going to lie to myself. I just stay sober for other people but if i had a choice i would drink all the freaking time whenever the hell i want.. even though sometimes bad things happen… this addiction and obsession sucks.

Continued………..

The day has been lame. I think I am depressed. I dont want to talk to Aster about it because she doesnt understand and then she will tell me that i need to start doing stuff to make myself feel better but i literally dont know what to do and she doesnt either. She doesnt understand what its like to be me. No one does. I am the only one who lives inside my head. I just live every day. Watching the time go by. I did some laundry today. Did the dishes like i always do. Cleaned the litter box like i always do. Not saying its a bad thing but its just things that i do. Some of the only things that i have to do in the day. I hang out with my dogs, not saying thats bad either i love my dogs but i would like some company that can talk back. And i know i have my family but they also are so far away. I called my sister today and she told me to come over but i didnt because it was about 4pm and Aster was going to be home at 5 and she probably would have complained. Either that i left, or that i left an hour before she got home and didnt wait for her, or that i went into town and its a lot of gas money. Either way i didnt want to deal with it. The weather sucks and i know that i have seasonal depression. I have been taking vitamin D to replace what i am missing from the sun. To try and help with energy and the way i feel but i dont think its helped much at all. Aster and Richard want to play fortnite tonight, and thats something that we do almost every single night and i usually enjoy it but today it doesnt sound so fun. I would rather do something else but i cant think of anything else to do. I could continue reading my book, but i dont really feel like doing that. I could start a new book but i dont really feel like doing that. I could watch tv and continue watching the new season of the dragon prince but i dont really feel like doing that either. I could bake some brownies but im on a diet. Im trying to drink my protien shakes with the kencko mix that has all the fruits and veggies that i need in the day. Im trying to lose some weight because i think that will help me feel better too. So obviously i am depressed. I want to drink. Im tired of my daily activities. Normal things that i usually find joy from dont sound interesting to me. I dont feel like eating. I dont feel like talking. I have therapy tomorrow and Ill tell her how i have been feeling lately and shes going to tell me the same thing too. That part of being bipolar is being up and down. and i have a lot of downs. and drinking isnt going to solve my problems. And that i should probably go to a meeting but i dont like going to meetings. I want to take like three baths a day again, due to being cold and bored and baths make me feel better. I have a hard time expressing myself and how i feel on the inside when i am having these emotions. More continuation same day…

I played fornite with Aster and Richard. It was fun playing the game but now the games over and im down again. I guess i could keep playing but i dont feel like it. Aster is still awake and its weird because its almost 12am. She goes to work at 8. I guess thats not too bad but im planning on escaping tomorrow and going to the bar to hang out. I cant drink even if i wanted to but i can have a mock tail and hang out with whoever is there. I know Jacob wil be there. Hes fun to hang out with and i think he genuinly likes to hang out with me too. Hes a really nice guy and has been wanting to hang out for a long time. I miss going out getting drunk and singing kareoke. All i ate today was two protien shakes with my kencko mix. One with water in the morning and one at night with oatmilk. I also made oatmeal with greek yogurt. And i had coffee today. I wonder how much weight i would lose if i keep eating like that for a week. But i dont know if its completely healthy and the weight will stay off once i start eating normal food again. Even so lets see if i can even make it on these protien shakes or today was just easy because i wasnt very hungry and interested in food. Well i dont really know what else to talk about. Not much has happened today. Not much at all. so i guess im going to go.