#i could be wrong but i don't think it's a term your average straight person knows

[npdclaraoswald]

Jeff Winger🤝Greg House🤝Hey, supposedly straight man from the early 2010s, why do you know what a lipstick lesbian is?

[kelocitta]

So how would anthro scavs function? And what would happen if arti encountered one?

This is a hard one for me and one I don't have fully figured out!!! This is a bit of a long explanation, and its going under the cut- and additionally a small warning for discussions of genocide (but just discussion, nothing too loaded)

Also note that I'm coming at this from the perspective of a bio nerd who really likes thinking about how non-human creature's brains might work.

For starters, you can't really do a 1-to-1 version of what Artificer and Scavenger's relationships are as creatures as fully sapient, human-aligned anthros. Both Scavengers and Slugcats are primitive and non-human- while they're smart, especially for the average animal, they aren't at all people or going to think in things in people term and morals, and its also really boring to try and force them straight into that mold as little animals. I think it would be a bit disingenuous to call a non-anthro Artificer's relationship to scavengers outright genocidal- its certainly not okay, but genocidal to me carries a certain human weight to it I do not want to ascribe to what I still largely characterize as an animal acting as a particularly destructive animal. Artificer, to me, is much more like a dog that is so overly reactive and hostile to a specific thing to the point of it being unhealthy and unfixable than they are to a person rationalizing the intentional execution of an entire group of people. Slugcat pups can feel bad about killing small insects and avoid doing it, but I don't think those slugpups are more morally attuned than the ones that shove handfuls of centipedes into their little mouths without second thought.

In terms of non-anthros; slugcats, for me, are an animal thats intelligent and social enough to understand things like pain and harm and often express empathy for that pain and harm, but they don't really have any sort of moral compass associated with it. Artificer understands that they are harming scavengers and causing them pain, and its really not much more complicated than wanting to do that because they hurt them and they're retaliating (with each counterattack by the scavengers reinforcing that drive further.) Scavengers are a step above slugcats, having a little bit more formalized culture and rules, not quiet human (or ancient, i guess) level but certainly on track- but much like people they see other creatures as a different thing rather than peers. Slugcats aren't 'another intelligent species' to Scavengers so much as they are viewed similarly to lizards or any other creature, but with more capacity to prove itself a good and well behaved thing just as much as it could be something unsafe to interact with. It's maybe bad to kill a random animal (slugcat) unprovoked, but certainly not as bad as killing a fellow scavenger (your peer). And while you can probably trust another scavenger you meet to be well behaved individual you can interact with, a random animal (even if that animal just offered you items in bargaining) you find should be assumed dangerous.

So the Artificer/Scavenger relationship is a sort of odd one to convert to anthro, because you can't really… do Artificer as Artificer is without discussing what their relationship to scavengers is. But once they become sapient animal-people with some level of human perspective on morals a 1-to-1 execution would, yeah, make Artificer a genocidal maniac. Which is both not something I particularly want to work with/even remotely 'redeem' as a character, and in my option much more extreme than what they actually are in non-anthro form because there's now a different type of brain behind the whole thing. But you cant really leave scavengers behind (aka, keep them more animalistic) either because that just feels… wrong, given how I just argued that I see scavengers are more advanced/closer to early humans than slugcats.

I haven't quiet worked out the solution to that problem, other than whatever it is the most important detail is that Artificer's anger is unchecked and misdirected- It has to be a wildfire- it can't be focused and sensical it has to be something that hurts far too many that had nothing to do with them. But I know how I don't want to do it, and thats making them someone who was genocidal/racist but "got better" or whatever. Thats kinda a bit much and like I said, I think it misses the mark on exactly what is going on their little animal head.

It also doesn't help that I haven't fully figured out how far I wanna slide the anthropomorphized scale. Full-furry generally suggests a sort of human outlook on things, but you can also go the hollow knight route and make them human-like but still clearly not always following a "civilized" mindset. It's complicated! Especially when you have two species that technically don't 'start' at the same level.

I will say that Artificer here, as an anthro, is far from a good person with good views on things, even If I'm trying to avoid making them that reprehensible. At this point though they have sorta burned out (pun intended) on their anger and is technically less hostile and dangerous, but not because they had any real change of heart- it just stopped making them feel something. They're like… post game Artificer. They've done their work, dug their grave, and now their laying it half-awake and only half-reflecting. As far as they're concerned thats all behind them and they would rather pretend that it never happened, and most of that destructiveness has turned inward in various ways. Seeing scavengers nowadays are probably an uncomfortable reminder, but they're just gonna look the other way. To them, it was a different Artificer. (Hunter, similarly, is also in their "post" game. They did their big mission (However that particular thing will get converted, lmao) and is now just in the worsening stages of their sickness trying to work out how their life is gonna go now that a large part of their sense of self is literally rotting away from them. Also not a great place to be but definitely more emotionally stable than Artificer is, even if Artificer comes off as more self-assured and better off)

[netherworldpost]

I hired a business consultant with a report delivery of Friday end of day.

Because they are an Actual Professional it came on time and was very thorough and complete.

Because I am a Cartoon Professional I changed my email password immediately after signing the contract so I wouldn't obsess.

Then watched Scooby-Doo for several days, obsessing anyway, until I could no longer take not knowing the results (Sunday morning at 4:17AM)

This covers a 10 year period

RED = MYTHOLOGY (Evil Supply Co. public shop before closing + private practice for mythology clients, which did not close)

BLUE = OTHER STUFF with red removed so I can see what percentage of income is mythology vs. not.

Got a bit of red on me.

In this chart you can see where I had my 2020 traffic accident and the subsequent rebuilding of my life and business practices.

Now let's talk about why I'm making this post. You can tell where I added artwork to this "hide private information" chart because it's bright pink.

I feel like following me on social media is a combination of mythology and benefiting from my investments in business + therapy. Consider this part of the value proposition in following oh stones I can't with the business talk.

atty (me, hi) = cartoon business person doing fun spooky things + occasional thing that is accidentally actually useful = public posting (desire for attention + lightly marketing)

Which is a quick commercial break for our sponsor (hi, it's me, I'm the sponsor on my own post)

netherworldpost.com has the mailing list when the public side of Netherworld Post opens later this year.

Greeting cards, postcards, stickers, zines, stories, rambles. All original art and writing about queer monsters, witches, ghosts, mermaids living in paradise.

Mental and physical therapy... are... continuing... and as they improve I can make stuff faster and get closer to launching

Thanks, back to rambling.

One of the things that has sat heavily in my brain since said traffic accident is a variety of soul haunting "what if?"s

This chart is to showcase the utter irrelevance of this line of thinking -- you cannot change the past -- in hopes of helping me and subsequently you to move on.

One of the biggest things I am trying to unbuckle from my brain is this idea that life is a linear experience with a finite number of resources and opportunities.

My brain has been ground into the position of "I must constantly hustle because every opportunity not maximized is lost forever and is thus one more step closer to irreversible failure. Going slow or stopping to rest = bad."

This is a coldly logical statement that sounds great when you're being punitive to yourself for choices made by you or others.

There is some small truth to it (your daily existence is comprised of 24 hours) but the fundamental and utterly overwhelmingly larger truth underlying is life is not comprised of a straight forward math formula.

Here is a zoom in + direct message summary

Bad thing happens.

Work harder for awhile.

Things resume on the previous path.

Worry over choosing the wrong path is extremely probably corrected over the long term.

Your "what if?" -- my "what if?" -- is irrelevant.

Not just because you cannot change the past. But because continued hard work averages out losses and "non-selected opportunities"

(don't you love that? "non-selected opportunities". This is a new phrase to me. Such a nice way of passing up "I didn't take the objectively better path for reasons.")

I hope you find it helpful!

I hope you sign up on netherworldpost.com which has an auto-merging feature if you've already signed, meaning if you're unsure, sign up again, you won't get duplicate emails in a few months when we launch!

Thank you, it's time for coffee, I have spent 5+ hours reading this damn thing and making this post

[bougiebutchbitch]

yea it's really kinda fucked up what kind of attitudes people of various professions have towards hyper mobility in itself and what it could be connected to. like I had a friend who dislocated her shoulders maybe once a week and we overheard the adults talk about how the medical conclusion seemed to be "hmm, is this kid being abused" rather than "maybe there is a reason this kid dislocates her shoulders every time she tries to hang from something". and then my teacher, when I went to school, just straight up told us that joints overextending just means we've got weak muscles and having a specific kind of posture means we are in bad shape (kids! we were kids! not even pre-teens yet wtf?) and then later on a personal trainer kind of person declared I am NOT hyper mobile because apparently my hands didn't align a certain way she was looking for? like I can sublux my shoulders at will, have to walk a certain way to keep my knees aligned, lock up my fingers doing certain activities etc and apparently maybe have some extra wear and tear here and there from this sort of shit, but you got it, pal 🙄

honestly I don't understand what's so hard for ppl to comprehend like your body's right there and it's doing this thing and then ppl keep going "oh, idk, maybe this isn't a thing?" like ???

Oh my god, that's immensely fucked up. I'm sorry you have awful medical professionals like that in your life... Truly, you deserve better!

I absolutely think 'oh you can just exercise away EDS/HSD in general' is a massive oversimplification. Strength building exercise has HUGE benefits for hypermobile folks, don't get me wrong! But exercise doesn't do jack shit about internal organ problems, or get rid of long-term damage that's already been done to nerves or joints? And frankly, if you are severely unstable, it can absolutely make it worse.

Like..... I am muscular. I work out A LOT, and have done for years. I have a lot of visible muscle! I have very little body fat, but what weight I carry, is muscle. It just......... only gets me to the approximate strength of an 'average' person, and my joints are still very weak and give out regularly.

My physio still wants me to work out even more to add more muscle mass, for what amounts, all together considering my personal exrcise plan, to 2+ hours a day (approximately 1 hour of work out and 1 hour of physio) just to maintain my ability to walk dodgily and not lose further functionality & sensation in my legs.

Like... That's completely unfeasible considering I also have a day job with up to 12 hour shifts, chronic fatigue and pain AND exercise intolerance??

The 'exercise' solution just feels like a super-handy way for health professionals to put all the pressure on the individuals to manage their own condition, with completely unrealistic expectations, and minimise the amount of care they actually provide. Like, I know EDS is a genetic incurable condition and there's literally nothing else you can do except brace, rest lots, gain muscle, exercise, and treat the internal problems as they occur. But. Sigh. A little appreciation of how that's impossible for most people living with this condition would be better than the usual 'oh this will be cured by exercise so it's not actually a problem :)' bullshit.

But.... yeah. Shit's fucking wild. I'm truly sorry you and your friends dealt with that. Keep on troopin'. You know your body better than any health professional you see for a fifteen fucking minute appointment. x

[ace-thinks]

While I totally agree with your statement that it’s about lack of sexual attraction and not lack of interest in sex. I do think interest is the term that’s being used because to a non-Ace audience that’s an easier to understand word. Especially if the audience isn’t mostly LGBT then throwing around terms like ‘lack of sexual attraction’ might just get more confusing or draw out the scene more than needed, especially for what’s supposed to be a moment that’s suppose to be quick and sweet and not made a big deal out of.

I think there is a big difference between Hollywood getting it wrong and Hollywood making accessible representation. I know plenty of Ace people that use the term interest in casual conversation while discussing their Asexuality. So like idk I just feel like there should be more nuance, because yes, when in a discussion about asexuality we should use the term lack of sexual attraction, but often using more ‘simplified’ words like interest can be an easier introduction to the Ace community for non-Ace people and can help avoid making the characters Asexuality a whole ‘thing’. Again I agree with you and I hope none of this is coming off as trying to attack you, but I just think it’s a discussion that needs to be had more on when specific words matter, where they matter, and why they matter. (Also let’s be real here. Non-Ace people get confused enough when I tell them I’m not interested in sex, cause I’m repulsed by it. So I doubt any straight non-Ace person is gonna understand someone saying lack of sexual attraction. And even if they did get it then I doubt they would understand the difference between lack of sexual attraction and lack of interest in sex.)

For reference, this person is talking about a Legends of Tomorrow scene that I posted about a while back:

(Here's the full post if you want to see more of the scene.)

I totally see where you're coming from, and I agree that expecting perfection or some super in-depth definition of asexuality to come from a passing scene in a mainstream show is totally unrealistic. Like, I'd never expect two characters to casually start unpacking all the potential microlabels within asexuality or debate the merits of the Split Attraction Model etc. lol

And like you said, I know plenty of ace people who use "interest" when talking about themselves since that phrasing is accurate for a lot of people's personal experience of asexuality, and the burden of word choice is way lower for a one on one convo than it is for a major TV show.

(Honestly, the show couldn't gotten away with saying "interest" if it had been a character describing their own experience rather than someone providing a general definition of asexuality as a whole)

I also agree the average allosexual viewer might struggle to distinguish between "interest" in sex and "sexual attraction."

However, this is a really meaningful distinction for a lot of ace people and people who might one day realize they're ace.

There are so many ace people who absolutely love sex and have a high libido that they prefer to satisfy by having sex with other people. But they're still ace because they don't experience sexual attraction.

When media casually says "ace people aren't interested in sex" they invalidate all of those people. Even if a lot of ace people are comfortable enough in our identities to brush it off, there are countless people who are questioning/new to the identity who could end up on a spiral of self doubt just from that 2 sec scene.

Not only that, but asexuality is still super rare in the mainstream, so for a lot of people, these little snippets in shows is all they know.

So when allos see these definitions in the media then walk away with an incorrect understanding of asexuality, that becomes their reality—and it gives them more ammo to (knowingly or unknowingly) invalidate ace people they encounter online/irl.

It's one thing not to dive deep into a definition, but it's another thing to use incorrect or misleading terminology.

Don't get me wrong, the scene is still really cool and it made me happy to see it! Like overall they handled asexuality with a lot of care and it was obvious the writers actually wanted to do right by the community. But I also think it was irresponsible to use that phrasing.

Imo, they wouldn't even have to go on to change a lot to make it better. All they'd have to do is swap out her wording so that she says, "People who ID as ace experience little or no sexual attraction."

Sex Education did that really well in a scene that (if I remember correctly) was pretty short:

Now, to be fair, this still isn't ideal.

It'd be preferable if the counselor had said "little or no sexual attraction" like they did in Legends of Tomorrow. But imo this omission is less detrimental than exchanging "attraction" for "interest."

And the scene overall is still a masterclass in how you discuss asexuality in a simple, easy to understand way without getting lost in the weeds.

Anyways, I say all that to say: I agree that it's unfair to expect perfection or demand that mainstream media put on a Gender and Sexuality course every time they introduce an ace character, but there are ways to keep a scene concise and accessible while still being accurate and avoiding potential harm.

[dreamylyfe-x]

Your trevor meta is making me realize how weird it is that the writers and cast were so insistent that mickey wasn't coming back, because I don't think theyve ever really known what to do with ian's story without him. They put him in these lukewarm relationships and tell us they're so much better and healthier, but then have ian straight up admit that he still loves mickey and nobody else has made him feel the same way. How do they set that up and then have him go back to trevor? They set up ian moving on with "I'm not that person anymore" and follow up with season 8. It's like okay...who he is now is gay Jesus? Lmao. He's always been the shows forgotten middle child and after they wrote mickey off "for good" they could have taken him in a million directions but they chose one so shitty it basically made cam leave lmao. Sometimes it feels like fan insistence kind of forced mickey back but in actuality, the seasons where he's gone just hammer home that he was always the inevitable end to ian's story. So bizarre how little the showrunners understand their own story sometimes.

Ok. I’m going to be a little more Doylist here than I usually am, because we’re talking about what the writers are thinking. And I’m also going to take this opportunity to share this fascinating article from the AV Club in 2016: When Fan Engagement Goes Wrong. Everyone beware, it contains significant spoilers for The 100. But it’s also largely about Gallavich, the fact that online promotion of Shameless leaned hard into the popularity of the couple, and were up against it when Noel left. I’ll quote: 

“[Supervising Producer Shelia] Callaghan’s choice to be honest and straightforward when engaging with fans is admirable, and yet also on some level futile. She can’t tell them exactly why Fisher chose to leave, she is (logically) unwilling to spoil future storylines outright, and she can only speak her own mind as part of a collaborative process over which she holds only some influence. So while many fans respect her effort to maintain the connection to this now marginalized community, others attack, reinforcing that attempting to manage these situations is a full-time job that no one has been properly trained for.” 

This article links some tweets and the one I find the most interesting is this one:

“But the actor left.  So...what to do? Have them just break up?? Felt way less true to me than a forced separation!” 

That tweet is from Krista Vernoff, who wanted to convey that they tried really hard to come up with what they do with Ian now that he’d lost Mickey. And I’m sure they did try really hard. And.... People hated it. Mostly. 

Here’s what I think, based on what I’ve read and the interviews I’ve seen, on deleted tweets and Tumblr rumours and YouTube clips: The show didn’t want Mickey to leave the canvas. At all. Noel wanted more money. The show could not come up with both that money and the money they needed for everyone else. The show let him go. And hoped they could solve the creative problem their budgetary problem had dumped in their lap. 

I actually think Ian’s story in season six is decent. I miss Mickey, of course. I find the last scene with him really painful -- but it’s not painful because the show is trying to diminish him. They write and then cut together a scene where Mickey is DEMONSTRATIVELY still deeply in love with Ian. He’s carved his name in his chest. He is looking at Ian like he’s the most beautiful creature ever given breath. And Ian can barely meet his gaze. They tell us Mickey is being sent away for 16 years but when we see the last of Mickey Milkovich in season six I think “God, this is so sad. They love each other so much and this is so fucked up.” 

I do NOT think “We are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together.” 

The show always knew what it had with Ian and Mickey. They leaned into it promotionally. They gave meaty storylines to the characters, particularly given that Ian was the fourth lead on a family dramedy built around six children. John Wells replaced Aaron Sorkin on The West Wing. He knows how hard it is to follow a phenomenon. 

The more I think about it, honestly? I don’t think they tried. I think they knew that they couldn’t bring in Mickey Milkovich, the sequel in season six, so they brought in Caleb. And maybe they meant for him to be a LITTLE more viable than he was... but I think there’s a pretty good chance they were just throwing something at the wall to see if it stuck, while being fully aware that the important storyline in season six was getting Ian from despair to a fulfilling career. Caleb was just there as a catalyst. 

Season seven if more interesting, because Trevor is brought on and it’s very much... “Hey, let’s do something new. Let’s bring on a transmasc character and put him into a relationship with Ian and explore those complications.” 

“Great! Put it up on the board!” 

“Also. Let’s call Noel Fisher’s people and see what we can work out because we can do better with Mickey’s send off and people are yelling at me on the street about it.” 

Quite honestly, these are not equal tasks for his writer’s room. You have one story -- Create a whole ass new character. The only thing we know is that he’s trans. Figure out the romance from there. You have six episodes to get them together as an established couple. 

Then: Bring back the well-established and beloved character for an epic romantic two-episode arc where he reunites with his true love and they run away together and then ultimately realize it cannot be, and say goodbye and it all feels like I Will Always Love You should be playing in the background. They actors worked together for five years. They have a great professional partnership. They like working together. They have a ton of history so there’s lots of juicy subtext. The longing and sexual tension comes pre-established. See what you can do. 

HOW do you make both those things work out so that they are equal? You need lightening to strike. And that already happened on How I Met Your Mother. They squandered their good luck and now there is none left for Shameless. I do not disparage Elliot Fletcher at all when I say that for Trevor and Ian to really work he’d have had to have come with scorching chemistry with Cam, rich material that really gave them a good opportunity to build rapport between the characters, and A wizard standing by to cast spells in the wings. They had SIX episodes, a pretty average connection between the actors, and the “these are the LGBTQ+ people in your neighbourhood” scene. 

I just can’t believe that someone with as many years of TV writing under his belt as John Wells has expected that to work. He hoped the Trevor story might be good, and was certainly going to break some ground in terms of telling trans stories. And the Mickey story was going to be the highlight, because he knew people wanted it and he also knew that they’d had something pretty special to start with. Which is why people were yelling at him at Comic-Con. I DO think he hoped it might placate fans a bit. But... he wasn’t going to completely close the door on Mickey this time, either. 

So... I don’t really think the show every intended to write Mickey off “for good”. I think they wrote him off “for now, and we’ll see what happens...” -- and they did that with Karen, Shelia, Jody, Steve and Fiona, too. They only brought a few of those people back... They brought Mickey back three times. They ended Gallavich FOUR times. Noel is in ever season except eight. I don’t think they wanted Mickey gone -- but I KNOW the fans also made it pretty hard for them not to know his value, so absolutely I think that played a role. But when you create something people love and you get that lightening in a bottle like they did with this story, I think writers are always going to be excited to get that back. They like praise! They like people to be excited about their show. And Gallavich was always one of the things that got people excited about Shameless. 

I think they also wanted Gay Jesus to be a great story. But that’s why the lightening in the bottle is so valuable. You can’t just get it anywhere. 

[reavenedges-lies]

I loved that elaborate answer, thank you so much for that! 🫂 Two more because they're quite hot issues around the league: 1) the Flyers benched Yandle when he's 11 games away from 1,000 straight games played during his career worst season. I get the outrage, but if he was playing so bad shouldn't they have sat him out earlier? 2) your honest thoughts on that incident during the Yotes vs Ducks game. What was it like live? I've heard the TV commentary was really bad

Glad to hear the answers were well received, and no problem.

I understand the outrage, I really do but I don't think the loss of his streak is any problem. If anything it could possibly be better for him. He is 35 and has had a steep cut of in his quality of play over the course of the last 2-3 years, and while he is on lower value single year contracts, the idea of Having to keep his streak going regardless of his play is a tough sell. His average TOI drastically decreased this season from the 17/18/19 minutes range in the two seasons prior, to roughly about 14:30 and in his last five games it was honestly closer to 10 minutes of ice time. That's even with the amount of injuries through the season for the flyers and I think that makes it worse, that even though he should've had more ice time, due to quality of play he was played even less. I will genuinely say I don't think his Ironman Streak meant anything as no team/coach wanted to be the person to break it even when it should've been. The streak should've ended sooner, but with nothing left to really lose it is just a slap in the face to be so close to 1000 games in a row and see it end like this.

I had a blast at the game, I was surrounded by other Yotes fans and we we're all joking up a storm and talking shit about the refs. The community here at the games is amazing because we aren't going because our team is good. We go because its fun, and we love the team and the game.

So I will say this about the Beagle fight and what Nash said. I was at the game and in the upper bowl on the Ducks side, so i was watching it from across the arena. From my viewpoint Zegras was digging at the goalie/blue paint after the whistle blew and that lead to Beagle cross-checking him. Terry then came up in defense of Zegras and swung at Beagle first, Beagle then beats the snot out of Terry because the Refs couldn't get a hold of the situation as quickly as they had in the prior scrums. I don't like how far Beagle took it as it looked like Terry never got his gloves off and while he didn't necessarily start to turtle he wasn't a super active participant in the fight. If Beagle had stopped at the Cross-check and it got called it would've been fine, but with how quickly each of the prior incidents had been quelled without any steam really getting released (and the lack of any physical response after the Keller injury during the SJS game) i wasn't surprised at the intensity of the situation. I don't think what Beagle did was wrong in terms of protecting Kořenář, I do think he could've stopped sooner as he had proven his point.

I didn't hear what Tyson Nash said until I had woke up this morning as I hadn't had the opportunity to grab the game footage before going to sleep. What he said and how he said it was out of line. Nash saying "I love it" and "That’s the problem with these young players. You wanna embarrass guys? You wanna skill it up? You better be prepared to get punched in the mouth.” is the problem with the scenario. People are getting mislead with what is happening as Nash isn't calling the game as he should nor is he framing it correctly and going after Beagle for what he did under that context is wrong.

Also all the people who're saying "Yeah the young skilled players are the problem with the league not you guys playing in a college hockey arena lmao give me a break" are part of the problem. The arena and where we are playing has nothing to do with our players skill or lack there of. It was emotional and letting the color analyst/broadcaster's biased words color how you think of a player or franchise as a reporter is disgusting. Genuinely what does where we are playing have to do with last night?

I can and will elaborate more if needed but those are my two cents on the matter

[fairy-writes]

hi fairy !! i saw ur matchups were open, and i was wondeding if i could request a male jujutsu kaisen and bungou stray dogs matchup ehe i don't rly mind whether or not they're platonic/romantic :^^

personality — i'm straight, not a minor and look like ur average nerdy girl ig? m smol tho ehe <:3 i'm v introverted- find it kinda hard to speak to ppl irl when we first meet, and maybe once or twice after that, but once we settle into a comfortable back and forth, i'm more open to chat and chill w them. it takes q a while for me to fall into that kind of pace bc i'm also kinda shy, but once we're good, i'm more outgoing than i would be at our first encounter. at that stage of friendship, i'm the type to look out for them, go out with them for a casual drink or two (at a cafe, not a bar). i don't trust easily, so that comes a lot later, but otherwise, i'm p affectionate w my friends/supposed partner after a while (my love language is physical affection and acts of service, so that pops up arnd a lot). errr if it helps, i'm also in slytherin, though i think that's largely bc of the ambition i have for chasing after the things i want to learn.

likes — classical music (becoming a concert pianist was one of my dreams until i ultimately decided to pursue science; i still play though, and i enjoy that immensely as a hobby), philosophical talks (i think deep most of the time when i'm alone), reading non-fiction (memoirs and recounts), spending time w my friends (includes all the study dates and times we spend on call going over academics) and being w my family <3

dislikes — rude/arrogant ppl, unreasonable ideals, ppl w narrow minds (and who absolutely refuse to see anything other than what they think is right; the kind of ppl who are "ure wrong, i'm right"), ppl ignorant of others' pain, slow wifi (can't watch all the anime and drama on my watchlist T_T), lack of structure (in terms of life and work)

that's it rly...? thank you so much for taking the time to look through this !! i hope u have a great day/night wherever u are in the world, and rmb to take care of urself !! 💙

Hello lovely! I labeled whether they were romantic or not :) I hope you like your matchup! 

Jujutsu Kaisen Matchup: I pair you with… Inumaki Toge!

(Platonic Matchup)

You are a sorcerer who helps out at Jujutsu Technical College and meets Inumaki after Gojo asks you to help with Inumaki’s cursed technique! You have a similar cursed technique and have much more experience than he does, so it’s a great match! Although the two of you communicate mainly through text and writing things down, you don’t have a specific way of talking like he does. You both end up super close after going on a few missions together, almost like siblings!

I see Inumaki as a Gryffindor! He’s courageous and chivalrous, which are both qualities Godric Gryffindor looks for in a person! He admires your ambition and tries to emulate it in some ways to better himself as a sorcerer.  He also enjoys listening to your piano playing and tries to track down songs and sheet music for you to surprise you with :)

Your conversations mainly occur through text or even sign language if you both want to learn that. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t deep and philosophical! For example, Inumaki has surprisingly complicated conversations when he wants to. He also asks for your help with academics! He is average at his school work and sometimes needs help with maths or science. Overall, the two of you are basically like siblings from different parents!

Bungou Stray Dogs Matchup: I pair you with… Kunikida Doppo!

(Romantic Matchup)

Atsushi actually introduces you two to each other after you need some help from the ADA. Initially, Kunikida is strictly professional and doesn’t do much in terms of pursuing a relationship. But after you become smitten by him and visit after your case is over, he actually asks you out to lunch, and the rest goes from there!

He’s definitely a Ravenclaw, and the two of you make a fearsome and ambitious couple with nothing standing in their way! He admires your ability to play piano and often makes requests if you take them. The two of you also have deep philosophical conversations all the time and often confuse anyone trying to listen in on them. 

He’s also a big nonfiction geek, and the two of you swap books all the time! He trusts you to take care of his things and knows you’ll treat his books with respect and carefulness. You also both study together a lot! He helps you with your studies. He used to be a maths professor, after all. Overall, the two of you just make such a cute match, and he loves you a whole lot!

[pastel9girlbunny000die]

Headcanon: Omegaverse

Warning: little language and sexual moments

Problem: I don't push others away and label genders, I hate it. This is for any and all to read not just fem readers.

Rin x Reader 🔖

🔖Rin as a omega just think about it, soooo kawaii 😍

🔖But seriously he'll try and keep his second gender a secret, he doesn't want to be looked down on by anyone.

🔖You can't tell me otherwise!

🔖But when he met you his omega senses clicked right in. Your strong, brave, a little mean but also bit of a temper bitch.

🔖But perfect

🔖Taking suppressments, acting all high and mighty not letting anyone press him down

🔖Being a fake alpha

🔖Your alpha like status made your profile shine, not just that your one hell of a knight and tamer. Best in the class

🔖He wanted you to take him as your mate then and there. But he had to ignore his instincts and use his head.

🔖What made things difficult was his doubts and uncertaint thoughts. That wasn't all that held him back you both had things to do, important things to focus on and dreams to achieve.

🔖Fuck no! That's not what holds him back!

🔖Your freaking last name is holding him back!!!

🔖Pheles, bloody hell you had to be the clown's kid.

🔖He wanted nothing to do with Mephisto anymore the clown was enough, but you were nothing like that guy completely different that what he fell for

🔖Your personality, the way you are, he didn't just desire your body for sexual use or his heat. He wanted you as a person to love and care for, making you happy is all he wants.

🔖But it'll never happen. His a demon and his afraid to tell you that.

🔖Later on something kept running on his mind, if your Mephisto's kid and his a demon are you one two

🔖Have he not seen it or something?

🔖So he went straight to the source and ask Mephisto himself it was irritating talking to the clown but what piss him off more was that Mephisto answered him with a question

🔖"Why is it that you wanna know?. Mr okumura."

🔖"Come on man just tell me, stop beating around the bushes and tell me!"

🔖"So rude. Yes (Y/n) is indeed blood related to me, so what do you think?"

🔖He was lost for words he was happy and worried at the same time.

🔖Could you be together if you know about him

🔖Your already great friends have a lot of fun together enjoying time doing stupid shit when you two are chilling together both your IQ's drops to one, but being near one and other just felt right to him.

🔖Finally working up the courage to ask you out.

🔖This guy went all out! brought roses dressed in the nicest hoodie he owns did his hair even wrote a speech that took a week to finish

🔖It all flopped, he got nervous suttering not making sense at all, the words that left his mouth came out as wrong as if his chatterbox broke. His palms all sweaty smudging the ink on them making it hard to tell what he wrote.

🔖You just stood there with a smirk trying not to burst into laughter, the second he came to you with roses dress like a slop you already know that he wants to ask you out.

🔖You just sat back enjoying the show.

🔖It was cute, but started getting annoying.

🔖You had to sush him placing your hands on his cheeks, "it's okay chill, Rin. Yes I will go out with you." Those few words made him the happiest omega alive, he couldn't ask for more. Maybe ask your dad to fuck off cause Mephisto was peaking his out from a corner behind you.

🔖But his happy.

🔖When you two started dating it was a little confusing all the couple stuff not knowing what to do or what's right or wrong, what your partner wants or likes.

🔖You where all cool and relax about it figuring things out along the way... on the other hand Rin was dumb as fuck, he didn't know shit he even took exstra time Googling what couples does?

🔖When he finally found the perfect blog that shoot his taste, he started experimenting. With hugs

🔖He loves hugging you from behind pressing his chest against your back and hocking his arms around your waist, rubbing his cheek against yours.

🔖But you prefer, embarrassing him making him blush. You hug him normally wrapping your arms around his waist pressing your bodies against each other his face in your neck and your in his, but your hands though goes straight down to his buttcheeks giving them a squeeze

🔖He blushes fifty shades of red!!! No end becoming all defensive and making no sense, but secretly he likes it.

🔖With hugs comes cuddling, but your form of cuddling is a bit different whenever he is busy or chilling you just lazily get on him.

🔖In cram school you sometime lean on his side wrapping your arms around him protective, when his studies you sit on his lap facing him as your bodies press together he rests his chin on you shoulder looking at his work, when he lays on the bed you just flop on him no matter what position just fall on him

🔖Holding hands, no big deal you two use to do it a lot before dating, just taking each other's hand in the mall or in public making sure not to lose each other in big open places

🔖It came naturally to you two not one of you are embarrassed or nervous. It was okay

🔖Next's was kissing, he expected a normal peck on the lips, but from you he got the best make out session of his life, but what he hates the most is when your angry that you found a new way to cool yourself down.

🔖Yes you kiss him just a normal average kiss, but to get to the kiss you suddenly without any warning whatsoever grab a hand full of his hair forcefully pull his face near yours.

🔖At least his happy you don't curse or kick random things around you or break whatever is in your hand if your holding something that is, as much as you used to before.

🔖When eating together you and Rin started sharing food without knowing, at times making each other taste your food or genuinely splitting a milkshake.

🔖Rin is actually very simple, pretty much gullible and naive at times, so taking him on a date is pretty easy you once took him too the aquarium and he had a blast like a 5 year old kid, so next time just take him to the zoo, he'd run around pointing silly things out and do all the things mention for kids.

🔖You guys take naps together all the time, just shows how much you enjoy each other company but it's best to find a different napping place other than during class.

🔖Rin is good at cooking we all know that, he loves to bake but you not so much. Your father is freaking Mephisto Pheles ofcourse your going to love junk food just as much as the clown does. You rather have instant ramen than eat a full course meal Rin took hours to make just cause you hate homemade meals.

🔖One thing that Rin will never stop is wearing your oversized hoodies it has you scent all over it making it feel like home to him, not just that he likes getting you two matching outfits or secretly pick out your outfit for the day. He even brought matching bracelets which you love thinking it's cute your omega wants to show his love

🔖You love reading and it makes you relax jumping into a new world, while Rin lays on your chest between your thighs sometime taking short naps or not, while you run your fingers through his hair letting him enjoy the little massage

🔖But.. You suddenly get pissed and either through the book or literally take a lighter wanting to burn the book which he has to stop you.

🔖 When the others found out about your relationship they where actually suprised it took them this long, especially Yukio.

🔖in all honesty Yukio tried giving Rin the talk, which ended awkward.

🔖Mephisto knew from the beginning, he really didn't care as long as your okay that's that.

🔖Suguro was beyond furious, jealous by how Rin got a lover before him which turned into a big mess of teasing and yelling between the two

🔖The others congrat you guys happy for the newly formed couple.

🔖You love Rin but sometimes you can't tolerate the people he hangs out with, you hate Shiemi and Yukio.

🔖Shiemi once tried to take your omega. Which result in you giving her a rude attitude and telling her to shove off. But Rin was quick to defend her... it turned into a full blown argument.

🔖And Yukio, tried separateding you two by secretly getting you mad at each other, you where able to catch on fast and exspose Yukio, Rin turned to your side on this getting angry at his brother.

🔖Sometimes he gets jealous that you hang out with Suguro and Shima the most. He get all whiny about it which you reinsurer him your only his alpha.

🔖When you get jealous you immediately turn violent, you once tried to kill Shiemi for wrapping her arms around Rin's arm, or when Shura hugged him to her chest, even when Izumo wore Rin's jacket.

🔖Ready to tear off their heads. But you have to contain yourself.

🔖At some point you did stumble upon Rin's nest, it wasn't in his room but in one of the many rooms in the dormitory he and Yukio lives in alone, it was like any other nest filled with blankets pillows you could find one or two suff animals in there and clothes... your missing clothes.

🔖But you just left it not wanting to do anything to it, it is his save place after all you have to wait till he willingly allows you in on his own terms it is privacy after all.

🔖Scenting is something you guys do regularly, Rin just wants your scent to feel comfortable he got so use to it, makes him feel uneasy if he doesn't get to rub on you. You enjoy it equally if he doesn't scent a stuff animal or two that is yours you might get angry and punch a hole through the wall

🔖Rin loves you dearly but he didn't bonded with you in the way he thought he would.

🔖Somehow you came down in a rut affecting him aswell, falling into an early heat.

🔖Your will power was long gone force yourself on him giving him the most lovable night he'd never forget you where so gentle and caring taking care of him before yourself. It took everything in you not to fuck his brains out.

🔖But with that it came with you slipping for a second, biting on nape so hard making him bleed, made him scream in pain mixed pleasure.

🔖it took you awhile to have Rin bite you in return cause he didn't what to hurt you and was nervous about it.

🔖But afterwards you showed off the mark wearing it with pride, pinning your hair up (if you don't have long hair just ignore it.) And wearing shirts that exspose more of you neck and shoulders.

🔖After bonding you two stayed near each other having issues with separating for more than half an hour, this result in you leaving your dad's home moving into the dormitory Rin lives in both of you claimed a different room.

🔖Rin rebuilt his nest in both of yours room giving you full access.

🔖Others seem to keep asking you what it like in a alpha x alpha relationship, which confused you.

🔖But you simply answer with either ignoring them or "Just like any other relationship?"

🔖After becoming intimate, you love walking around him shirtless and pantsless. You can either get a blush or a horny moan out of him.

🔖Something more intimate is taking a bath with each other you can't keep your hands to yourself at times like these.

🔖giving each other pet names are normal and cute.

🔖Rin mostly prefers calling you- Babe, sweetheart or handsome/beautiful.

🔖You on the other hand call him- Baby cakes, love, Darling or idiot

🔖But in bed he once accidentally let a Daddy/mommy kink slip his mouth, it turned you on more than ever.

🔖But in bed you call his name mixed with a lot of dirty talk. Which gets him all rile up.

🔖Studying together is not a good option anymore you both can't concentrate, can't keep your hands off your lover, randomly start goofing off or get horny.

🔖You regularly get more piss off at Yukio more than Rin does, When mission come around your either stuck on a lame team or with Rin not allowed in the action.

🔖During the camping trip or exercise, instead of bringing back a lantern you kinda got lost in the forest.

🔖And only reunited with the others when Rin went viral, blue flames every where the trees burning and mist of the students were injured.

🔖Yes Amiomon did think about using you before Shiemi but it wasn't a good idea since Mephisto refused for obvious reasons.

🔖Number one the would have not been able to control you much less get underneath your skin though to your superior abilities.

🔖Number two you would've beating the shit out of Aniomon even if he wasn't your uncle.

🔖And lastly number 3 Your a demon with a class near Mephisto, he could've exspose it if you fought Amiomon but keeping you a secret from the order is more important than Rin.

🔖After all that crazy shit, Rin couldn't look you in the eye now you know he's a demon there could've been hope if he was just any other demon but his the span of satan himself.

🔖He doubt you would want to have him as your omega anymore.

🔖It sadden him and made him depress losing the cheerful happy attitude. Not just his behavior that changed as well as his scent it started becoming displeasing and disgusting.

🔖You treated him the same as you always do, you already knew everything since Mephisto opened his big mouth and blab to you long before you and Rin got together

🔖your also the first to feel the change in your omega, but thought it was cause of the way the others treat him.

🔖But it wasn't the same when he avoided you and didn't let you in him nest.

🔖At some point you had enough, doing something that an alpha shouldn't, you drag Rin straight out his nest to confront him

🔖It started in a argument leading of to crying and yelling, it ended with you mostly trashed the room, and the words never spoken once from you

🔖"I love you!" It made Rin extremely happy knowing you love him dearly.

🔖"I love you too"

🔖You two were finally on the same page again, continuing your relationship. Loving and cuddling.

🔖When the others treated Rin bad you where the one to comfort him and give him a not of ice cream.

🔖That's till Izumo birthday came aroun, You don't celebrate birthdays since your a demon and all much older than you look.

🔖You even helped Rin decorate the cake that was clearly Christmas themed, which confused you but you just brushed it off.

🔖Until Suguro yelled at you two claiming it was clearly not a birthday cake.

🔖They could understand Rin's explanation being that his birthday is really close to Christmas it is natural to celebrate the two on the same day not using up much money.

🔖You on the other hand were a different case, they where honestly worried, who would tell someone

🔖"I don't celebrate my birthday, I really don't care and truthfully I don't know the date to my birth?"

🔖What?

🔖Yes, you read it Mephisto never told you, and you really don't care about minor stuff like that.

🔖You suggest to them to just give the cake to Mephisto, your old man isn't much of a Christmas fan after all

🔖It was fun. And so where the rest of your days with Rin.

🔖Really happy.

***

Thanks sis for the request... I'm blocking you🤗❤

[gyucore]

run to the shadows

pairing: soobin x reader

genre: angst (?), supernatural au

word count: 5.1k

warnings: swearing, blood and wounds, character death

synopsis: the city is on a lockdown. people with uncontrollable elemental powers are springing up left and right. the government is trying to capture every single elemental in the guise of protecting the citizens. much to your dismay, your fiancé, soobin, just had to be one of them.

The rays of the sunset left a warm sensation on your skin. The gentle breeze passing by gives you a moment of coolness that vanished as fast as it came. Children's laughter could be heard close by, their parents watching over them from afar. Sometimes, someone would pass by and greet you with a smile before continuing their way beside the calm waters of the lake. You look on to the horizon and gaze upon the direction where the sun had set, holding on to this scenic view one last time.

The blanket of the night sky soon came, a reminder that you had to quickly return home. You leave the lakeside with a heavy feeling on your chest— one that you can't seem to shake off. But there were more important matters to be dealt with.

"Hurry inside, sweetie, before the raiders come." You hear a mother say, ushering her child inside their car, her tone laced with worry as she made sure the doors were closed shut. "We don't want to be around when they capture the bad people."

Capturing bad people, huh. Even hearing the phrase was distasteful. One wouldn't expect for a government that's supposed to protect its citizens to go around doing something as inhumane as capturing someone and imprisoning them despite having done nothing wrong, and branding these victims as bad people just because they were forced into their situation.

Your thoughts fill with worry and the heavy feeling in your chest worsens. You're not sure whether this was the usual looming threat of having your life endangered, or the effect of having left your fiance's side after a huge argument. Part of you knows it's the latter.

"Soobin.." You sigh, your chest not feeling any lighter as you did. Scenes from earlier replay in your mind and you silently wish things had gone differently.

The walk home was quiet. Not a lot of people were wandering around at night anymore, even the questionable individuals that once littered the darker streets and alleys. Whether this was a good thing or not was up to how much the whole situation affected an individual.

In the more populated neighborhoods, the lights would be dimmed, the curtains drawn, the gates closed, and the windows locked shut. The clean asphalt beneath your feet soon met with bits and pieces of rubbish as you reach the farthest back of the neighborhood. The place was dark with most of the streetlight broken. You'd think that after a year, at least most of them would've been fixed but the government had a more important investment to focus on than providing their citizens the bare minimum security they at least deserve.

A creaking sound from the dark alerts your senses. Your hands come up in front as balled fists as you take a defensive stance, reminding yourself that if ever worse comes to worst, you had a dagger hidden in your pocket.

You make a quick scan of your surroundings, taking notice of every minute movement and sound your senses could pick up. No one. You'd like to think you were just being paranoid but you never know what might happen. Your heart beats faster in your chest as you go through ever possible scenario that might happen to you, or worse— to Soobin.

"Come out and face me!" You scream. Even if no one was there, no other person was living in this neighborhood that would bother to report a screaming maniac marching around their streets.

A few minutes pass and after checking each and every nearby nook and cranny, you slowly let your guard down. Perhaps you truly were just being paranoid. But who could blame you? The past few months hadn't exactly been the best. You've been in a lot of awful situations from having to hide for a week inside an abandoned theme park cave to nearly beating someone to death over food rations if Soobin hadn't stopped you.

It all started when one day, a phenomenon struck the city. Hundreds of people were turning up, reporting that they've been experiencing strange things with their body and surroundings. Eventually, it was discovered that they had somehow acquired the ability to manipulate the elements. The whole situation looked like it came straight out of a fantasy novel. But this wasn't your average story where the gifted ones get to go on crazy adventures to fulfill or prevent some messed up destiny. Quite the opposite actually.

The citizens with newfound abilities were tracked down to the ends of the city and captured. The government released a statement on how these citizens are no longer human. They were branded as monsters with uncontrollable powers that were planted in the city to harm the citizens, and eventually, the world.

They proposed a solution to lockdown the city in order to prevent the escape of these monstrous individuals and that they'd clear the streets at night from any and every individual who is suspected of possessing such abilities. Soon after, people were disappearing left and right. No one had been spared. They'd captured adults, teenagers, the elderly, and even children as young as a year old, and brought them into the holding facilities. Reports state that they were simply being held captive to enforce the necessary safety measures, but you knew all too well that they didn't stop there.

Experiments. They'd never admit to it but those that were heavily affected by these regulations knew that behind closed doors were vicious experiments being held in order to find a way to utilize these abilities for the government's advantage. One way to avoid this fate was to keep out of the prying eyes of the raiders, the ones in charge of finding and capturing the ability users.

"Y/N?"

Your eyes widen and you snap back to your senses, whirling around to see a familiar pair of eyes staring back at you.

"Y/N.." In an instant, you were engulfed in a tight hug. You feel his warmth slowly being passed down to you and for a brief moment, you allow yourself to melt in his arms. "You're safe.. I was so worried.."

You look up at none other than your fiancé, Soobin. Now that he was closer, you could see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. It was clear that he'd been worried sick, and you were the same. A feeling of regret washes over you for ever leaving his side and causing him this much worry.

"Soobin, I—" You pause, forcing yourself out of his arms to look at the surroundings. "Let's talk inside. It's not safe out here."

Soobin nods, adjusting his hoodie as the two of you walk back inside your temporary base. The two of you had escaped into the lesser populated areas of the city to avoid public eye. You couldn't risk being seen by anyone at this state. Despite the government's unprecedented tactics, you hated to admit that they were right about one thing— most of the ability users couldn't control their powers, and unfortunately, Soobin was one of them.

Soobin paces back and forth in the living room, his mind racing with thoughts of worry. What if you had gotten mixed up into something dangerous while you were out? What if they had falsely accused you as an ability user? He wanted to scream the frustration out of his system, but he knew it wouldn't do him any good.

He regretted it. He regretted ever arguing with you in the first place. It wasn't even worth the risk of endangering both of you.

Soobin hated his newfound powers, hated how he had to hide in the slums of the city to stay alive, hated how he could never go out to see the world without putting his life at risk, and hated how you could only do so much to console him. How would you, an ordinary person, be able to relate to his worries? Eventually, he grew envious of how you could leave the house even if it was only to purchase groceries at a nearby store, and how you could bask in the warmth of the sun without having to worry about your abilities going berserk. All that pent-up emotion ended up with a huge fight. And eventually, you stormed out of the house.

Soobin had only come to terms with himself after watching you yell out in frustration before slamming the door behind and leaving.

It was you who had been by his side throughout everything. You didn't have a reason to hide, but you moved into the back of the city with him and catered to his every need. You held his hand at night when he feared he might go crazy in his sleep, and had been patient and understanding with him whenever his powers went haywire. You had protected him even when he insisted on being able to protect himself, and went to vast lengths to help him make it through until the end. Not once did you waver in front of him, and he felt so ashamed. How could he have let all those negative thoughts cloud his judgement?

Even now that he had risked his life and went outside to find you, he felt the regret deep inside his chest. Even now that he held you safely in his arms in the middle of the street, he couldn't let it go.

"Let's talk inside. It's not safe here."

Inside. It was for the best. "Okay."

It felt safer inside the house. The dim light coming from the living room lamp, thick walls, and drawn curtains brought on a familiar sense of comfort. Soobin had taken off his hoodie and tossed it aside, leaving him in his favorite loose white shirt. One thing you've come to notice even before your engagement was that he wore that specific shirt whenever he wanted some room to breathe. You hoped that he's had a good amount of that when you'd left him alone earlier.

Soobin makes himself comfortable on the couch next to the window, patting the spot next to him. You refrain from taking his offer. "Soobin, about earlier.."

“I'm sorry.” / “I'm sorry.”

Soobin looks up at you, blinking, and the two of you burst into laughter. After a while, he clears his throat and speaks up. You lean against the counter to hear him out. "You know, it's funny. Earlier I had this whole apology planned out in my head explaining everything— why I said all that stuff, and how I regret every single word. I wanted you to maybe understand where I'm coming from and how sorry I am but.." His eyes once again meet yours and as if a silent message had been conveyed, Soobin smiles. "Somehow, I feel like you already know."

You smile back, finally taking up his offer and plopping down right next to him on the couch. You rest your head on Soobin's shoulder, and he does the same. The warmth of his hand spreads throughout yours as he interlocks your fingers, bringing them close to your faces. The edge of your engagement rings glisten against the dim light, a promise of eternity with each other that would soon be sealed. An eternity in each other's embrace.

Before all of this had started, you had spent countless nights like this with Soobin, balled up together on the sofa or bed, and enjoying the warmth in each other's arms. Now, you'd barely spent the nights together. Rules had been established to keep you two safe from the prying eyes of the government, and naturally, there were also rules you'd agreed on to keep each other safe. One of those rules was that you couldn't sleep on the same bed. Soobin had no control of his powers and feared that he might hurt you in his sleep. You had tried it out once during the first week, ignoring the possibility. It didn't end well.

A knock on the front door breaks the silence in the room.

Soobin pulls you closer in his arms, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. A frown creeps up his lips as he leaned in closer to your face. “I know what you're thinking but please listen to me—”

“Soobin..” You look him in the eyes, holding his hand tighter. “I heard a noise on the way back. I think I might have been followed.”

Another knock sounds from the door, sounding more impatient than before

“In that case, I want you to stay behind.” Soobin says, letting go of your hand as he gets up from the couch.

“What? Why?” You follow right after, blocking Soobin's path to the door.

“You said you were being followed. If it's a raider then it couldn't have followed you to get to me when I haven't been outside in a long time.” Soobin sighs, walking around you. It wasn't news that raiders would falsely accuse random citizens as ability users for some short-term glory of having allegedly protected the city from these monsters. “I have a bad feeling about this, Y/N. I don't want you getting hurt.”

“And I don't want them to capture you.”

“They won't.”

“Soobin, please listen to me. You can't control your abilities yet. What if—” You were about to run after him when you notice you couldn't move. You look down and see that your feet had been bound to the ground by chains of ice. Since when had Soobin gained this much control over his powers? was the first thought that came to mind. He'd been training for a while but the results have been rather unhelpful. But not this time.

Soobin wasn't sure when he'd started feeling confident about his abilities, but he's sure of one thing. He'd use his abilities to protect what matters to him the most: you.

“Is someone there?” He asks before opening the door, heart thumping in his chest as he waited for an answer.

“Raid officer. I'm here to have a word, if I may.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“Justice sleeps for no one, sir.”

Justice. Soobin holds his breath as he opens the door, preparing himself for the worst. He comes face to face with a young man around his age— blond hair, clean and kempt raider uniform— he didn't look like the type to be fooled easily.

“What brings you here this late at night, officer?”

The officer smiles, straightening himself up. “Sorry for the disturbance. I'm Officer Kang Taehyun, and that's my partner, Choi Yeonjun.” He points at a pink haired officer with unkempt uniform, leaning against their motorbikes. “We'd like to ask you a few questions.”

Soobin agrees to their request, fully stepping out of the house.

“Full name?”

"That's.." Soobin hesitates, pondering whether he should tell him his real name or not. He notices the folder Taehyun was holding, and figured that the Officer might have already known his identity. He was testing him. “Choi Soobin.”

“A pleasure meeting you, Mr. Choi Soobin. You live alone?”

“Yes.”

The officer raises a brow. “I see. Any visitors over? A relative, or perhaps a lover?”

Soobin's heart races. He could spot the officer's partner at the back, preparing hid gear. He didn't like where this was going. “No.”

"Is that so?" The officer, Taehyun, breaks into a smile— cold, unsettling. He wonders if this smile was the last others have seen before getting sent straight to the facilities.

"This side of the neighborhood is pretty quiet, don't you think? No one else is living here except you."

"This place certainly has its charms." Soobin shrugs, trying his best to drive away suspicion. "I don't mind living alone and the groceries aren't that far from here anyway."

Officer Yeonjun steps in, gear in place and face unreadable. He nudges Taehyun to the side and takes over the conversation. "Listen, we'll make this quick for you. My partner and I spotted a suspicious woman walking around this area. No one else is living here except you. Do you know anything about her?"

There it was. Soobin supposes he couldn't have avoided the question any longer. "No, I don't. I haven't seen anyone nearby either. I was here at home the entire night, making dinner."

"I see." Yeonjun nods, his hand slowly reaching for something in his pocket. "You seem like a pretty agreeable guy. I'm sure you wouldn't mind if we checked inside to see if you're telling the truth."

"Not at all." Soobin grins, opening the door wider. It's not like he could refuse them in the first place. Raiders had been given the authority to search any premises without a warrant. He just hopes you had half a mind to hide yourself by now.

And you did. Both of you had prepared the house for circumstances like this. There was a trap door in the living room where you could hide in the case of an emergency. Soobin had melted the ice once Officer Yeonjun stepped in, and that was enough of a signal for you to hide. You couldn't afford to put Soobin in any more risk than he was already in.

Heavy footsteps liter the living room. Two, no, three pairs? That meant the two officers had gone inside with Soobin.

"Mr. Choi, would you mind showing my partner upstairs?"

"Of course."

You feel your pulse start to race. Soobin being alone with a raider was putting them in a stickier situation. If he loses control at any moment, this could mean the end of their lives. You couldn't help but peek through the hole on the floorboard. Only the pink haired officer was left behind to search the living room. You try to breathe quieter, hoping he wouldn't notice your presence.

The officer brings his hand to his ear, head shifting around as if making sure there weren't any witnesses.

"What is he doing?" You think to yourself, bracing for the worst.

"Taehyun's got him cornered upstairs. The girl isn't here. We'll proceed as planned."

You hold back a gasp and stumble back. A loud thump sounds upstairs followed by a glass shattering. Soobin!

The officer hears the noise and sighs, smashing his communicator onto the ground. He crouches down onto the floorboard and knocks twice. "Hey, I know you're there. Listen to me."

You don't respond, shock and fear stopping you from even breathing.

"This may be too much to ask, but please trust me. I'm part of the anti-faction unit that's here to support the ability users. My partner will capture your boyfriend and bring him to the facilities and I don't have a choice but to help him. I'll report you as a missing case so run away after my partner and I leave. There's no saving your boyfriend now so you could at least save yourself."

"Why are you doing this? Why can't you just save him?" You choke on your words, anger slowly rising. If he was here as an undercover agent then he could've at least saved Soobin.

"It's loo late. The facility's had an eye on him for months. If I do anything now, my cover would be blown. I can't have that." The officer frowns. You could see his fallen expression through the hole but that wasn't enough to calm you down.

"And I can't have Soobin getting killed." You snarl, hands balling into fists.

"He won't." The officer says before standing up. "They'll be down soon. Just do as I say and save yourself."

You feel your blood boiling. They knew Soobin was an ability user from the start and had used you as an excuse to lure him in a tight spot. Abandon Soobin? Not a chance. You didn't abandon him back then and you were sure as hell you wouldn't be abandoning him now when he needed you most.

"Move."

"Hm?"

The trap door had enough space to hide in, but that also meant you had enough space to make a running start. "I said move." You ram against the floorboard, knocking Yeonjun off and bursting the door open.

You were free.

"Soobin! Get out of there!" You scream the moment you got out, running as fast as your legs could carry you towards the stairs.

"Are you crazy?!" Yeonjun runs after you, breath hitching as he manages to grab your leg. "You could get killed!"

You kick Yeonjun's hand, causing him to stumble behind. "Soobin!" You scream, dashing upstairs. You make a sharp turn towards his bedroom and find him down on the floor, blood dripping from his hands.

Soobin looks at you, tears threatening to prick his eyes. "Y/N, get away from here!"

"Soobin.." Your gaze shifts from his worried eyes to Officer Taehyun's cold ones, looking at you like you were as significant as a tiny insect. It was only then that you realized what a mess the place was. The book case had been knocked over, sending the books scattering around the room. A huge spear of ice had bursted from the ground and crashed onto the glass window, coming in between Soobin and the officer.

"So, you were here all along?" Officer Taehyun scoffs, his tone as cold as his expression.

"Y/N, stand back. I'll handle this." Soobin tells you, wincing as he holds a hand towards the officer.

"You can't do anything to me." Taehyun smirks, crossing his arms. "You used up all your energy making this freak ice appear and for what? To buy time? You're the type who loses energy while using your abilities, so why not stop now?" You see him glance your way before snickering. "Is it the girl? Do monsters even have time for love?"

"Might want to check in the mirror." You slowly inch towards Soobin's side. "Who's the monster here? A guy who's just trying to live his life quietly, or the one who's had innocent blood spilled in his hands for countless nights?"

Taehyun's amused expression falls. "Last time I checked, none of them were innocent. And I'm not the one who conjured ice from the ground to harm an officer. Normal humans don't do that shit. Monsters do. Isn't that right, Yeonjun?"

Before you knew it, you were pinned to the ground. Yeonjun had crept up on you from behind while you were distracted.

"Y/N!" Soobin rushes after you but stops as Yeonjun takes out a knife and puts it to your neck.

"Move and I'll cut her." Yeonjun spits out his empty threats. You knew he wouldn't harm you. He just wanted to get out of this mess as fast as possible.

Soobin clicks his tongue, lowering his hands in defeat. Taehyun finds himself smiling at the entire situation. "There you go. And just when I thought you'd lost your common sense."

He walks over to Soobin, carefully maneuvering through the ice and shards of glass. "Come with us quietly, and we'll set her free. No scratches, no anything. Do we have a deal?" He takes out specialized handcuffs used to detain ability users and twirls it around his fingers.

"Don't! Soobin, please! There must be another way!" You scream, trying to break free from Yeonjun's hold but that only made him pin you down harder.

Soobin looks back at you and then at Taehyun, shedding a tear as he holds his hands out in front. "Keep your end of the deal. I surrender."

"No!"

"Quiet." Yeonjun puts the blade back into his pockets and puts his hand over your mouth. "Mmf!"

You felt powerless as you watch Soobin get handcuffed, his eyes never leaving yours— taking in your face one last time. "I'm sorry." He whispers.

"Oh, and for safety measure." Taehyun hums as he takes out a tranquilizer needle, stabbing Soobin on the neck. Soobin's falls on the ground, unconscious. "You can't be too careful with these monsters." Taehyun chuckles, bending down and hoisting Soobin up in his shoulders. He walks over to you and Yeonjun, leaving behind a few instructions for his partner. "Release her when I give the signal."

"My communicator's broken."

Taehyun raises a brow.

"It fell and got stepped on when this chick came out of nowhere and ambushed me."

Taehyun sighs. "I suppose we don't have a choice. Use my communicator." He uses his free hand to hand Yeonjun his communicator.

Yeonjun holds it in his hand and nods. You try to look over the door towards Soobin, but they were long gone. Yeonjun notices this and bends down, whispering.

"Listen. The plans have changed." He holds out Taehyun's communicator in front of you and smashes it to the ground. "Taehyun has no means of contacting the others for backup, and they can't hear us from where they're parked. We might be able to save Soobin." He loosens his grip and lets you go.

"What made you change your mind?"

Yeonjun sighs, helping you up. "We actually have a fighting chance now if we work together."

"What do you mean?"

"It's gonna take Taehyun a while to sort through the mess blocking the door."

"Mess? What mess?" And then it hit you. "You missed it up on purpose." That's why it took him so long to catch up.

Yeonjun takes out a gun from his holster and cocks it. "Listen carefully. We don't have a lot of time. Taehyun's has his guard down right now. I'm gonna sneak up to him and shoot hid arm that's holding Soobin. As soon as he drops him, I want you to grab Soobin and take him to the back. I'll meet you there."

You didn't exactly trust the guy but you weren't in a situation to be picky. "Fine."

"On my signal." Yeonjun whispers, taking a step forward from your hiding spot.

The plan sets in motion. The two of you sneak downstairs, peeking at Taehyun who's trying to sift through the broken furniture with one hand.

"Wow, looks like the girl got away. My bad."

"What are you—"

Yeonjun pulls the trigger before Taehyun could turn around, hitting the heel on his right leg.

"Shit!" Taehyun winces in pain. He reaches for his gun but Yeonjun was faster, shooting two other bullets through his other leg and his shoulder that's holding Soobin. He drops Soobin to the ground with a thud.

Yeonjun turns to you. "Now!"

You sprint towards Soobin's body, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

"Hold it right there." Taehyun pulls out a knife and holds it towards Soobin's throat. "One step closer and I'll kill him. Even if that traitor shoots me, I'll just use the last of my energy to slash his throat. You don't want that now, do you?" The look in Taehyun's eyes infuriated you. He looked so confident that you wouldn't dare take another step further, none of you would. And he was right.

Your eyes fall upon Soobin, your heart squeezing in your chest at the thought of losing him. All you could hope for was a miracle. To hell, it didn't even need to be a miracle. It could be a tragedy, a curse, whatever. Just let Soobin return safely in your arms.

You feel your hands heating up despite the cool air rushing inside from the open windows. A warm sensation fills your chest and you gasp for air. Taehyun and Yeonjun observe as you grip your stomach. You feel like throwing up. It felt like you've lost all control in your body. You were sweating from the heat, and the world looked like it was spinning out of control. Your vision clouds until a bright light flashes, stunning you for a brief moment.

"What's wrong with you?"

Your attention shifts towards Taehyun who'd spoken and all you could see was red. "Let him go."

Taehyun tightens his grip on the handle. "I didn't know this monster's life meant so little to you."

"Sorry to break it to you, but his worth is immeasurable in my eyes. I'd do anything for him." You narrow your eyes at his face. "Even if it meant I'd have to spill blood in my hands."

"Y/N, what are you doing?" Yeonjun asks, his tone laced with worry.

"Committing a murder." You answer, not bothering to look at him. "But not a crime."

In a split-second, the door behind Taehyun explodes, the flaming debris piercing Taehyun straight in the chest, miraculously missing Soobin. Taehyun's lifeless body falls onto the ground and Yeonjun takes cover from the explosion. You stay plotted at the same spot, scratches littering your sides as you nearly miss the flying debris. The fire slowly spreads throughout the living room and your legs give in as you drop to the floor.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, your arms instinctively reaching towards Soobin. Drained seemed like an understatement. You could barely move. It was as if all the energy you had earlier had been sucked out of your body.

"Y/N, get a hold of yourself!" Yeonjun rushes towards your side as soon as the coast was clear. "We have to get out of here!"

The world around you darkens and your mind turns blank. You couldn't even think at this point. Soobin was right in front of you yet nothing of what has happened has processed in your head. In the end, all you could do was stare at his face as hot tears spilled from your eyes.

"Snap out of it!"

You feel a stinging sensation coming from your cheek and you look up at Yeonjun. The air rushes back up your lungs and you gasp.

"Listen to me. We need to get out of here right now. If the fire spreads throughout the house, we're done for. We either die in flames or be killed once the backup finds us. Can you walk?"

"Yeah.. I think I can." You try your best to answer. He helps you on your feet before rushing towards Soobin.

Yeonjun stumbles as he hoists Soobin onto his back. He looks at you, eyes determined. "We managed to escape now, but who knows what'll happen next. What do we do now?"

In the end, it all came down to this. Wherever you went, it was all the same. You and Soobin have suffered too much, and it was time to put an end to it. Strangely enough, the flames that had swallowed your living room didn't make you afraid. It made you feel powerful— powerful enough to make a change.

"I don't want to cower in fear anymore." You lock eyes with Yeonjun who earnestly gangs on to your every word. "We've hidden ourselves in the darkness in fear of being captured but I think it's time we use the what we're familiar with to fight them off— use the darkness to turn against our oppressors."

"So what do you suggest we do?" Yeonjun settles right next to you.

You face your resolve, reaching your hand to caress Soobin's sleeping face. "For now.."

"We run to the shadows."

[laundryandtaxes]

I get where you're coming from, but I think in this instance with Elliot Page it's more about the specific accomplishments/actions/statements made before transition and the rush to erase them and/or remold in terms of the new identity. I think people in the public eye have a bit of a different circumstance surrounding them since people/society have this weird thing with public figures where we consider them sorta authority/important figures above regular people and emulate or idolize them, so it's not quite the same as an average person living through the same situation. I feel like I wouldn't even bat an eye at an acquaintance or local person I've met before transitioning and I certainly wouldn't bother a stranger, but a celebrity is putting a certain message out there with their actions and how they handle their lives. It comes with being famous, and this whole thing with abandoning the past, changing the nature of past roles and works, and disavowing any statements made before transition as associated with womanhood or lesbianism is not exactly a good look. I also think that by becoming famous and choosing to live in the public eye, you open yourself up to public critique and you don't (and shouldn't) have the ability to fully control that. Honestly I think this situation could have been handled better or something if this is them living their truth, but it's not like you can change things that already happened anyway so 🤷‍♀️ it is what it is.

This is probably the only time I’ll address this because I honestly don’t care all that much BUT I do want to respond because I think you’re being honest and normal here instead of dishonest and weird, and I appreciate that, but there are several points where I disagree. I’m gonna pull and highlight different parts because I’ve been spending a lot of time on reddit and it seems the easiest to me.

it's more about the specific accomplishments/actions/statements made before transition and the rush to erase them and/or remold in terms of the new identity 

That may very well be the case with SOME reactions, but I’m very much referring to people who, within a few hours of that social media post, were whining in public about someone they don’t know using a new name and pronouns.

I think people in the public eye have a bit of a different circumstance surrounding them since people/society have this weird thing with public figures where we consider them sorta authority/important figures above regular people and emulate or idolize them 

I totally agree with you here, but if people are doing that then frankly they are acting stupid and that is their own fault. Celebrity culture is stupid. Buying into it is stupid. As grown adults it is stupid to be invested in what strangers do because they’re decent actors, or because they’re famous and gay or famous and black or whatever. If someone is engaging with celebrities in this way, that is their own fault, and it is a poor decision and it is honestly just...stupid. And I say that having been on the other side of that weird relationship on tumblr on a scale that is obviously about a million times smaller, where people will just assume because they’ve followed you for a long time that they can talk to you in ways that are disrespectful if you’re not a friend, or have the right to have input on your life, or place stock in you being a certain kind of way.

a celebrity is putting a certain message out there with their actions and how they handle their lives 

Again, the issue here is that you THINK they are putting a certain message out there when in reality they’re just living a life, with good decisions and bad decisions like everybody else. They are literally just people, just like the other 7 billionish people on the planet. Was Paul Walker putting a certain message into the world when he crashed his sports car into a tree in a residential neighborhood and died? No, he was just being stupid and making a stupid decision and doing something to have fun. It truly is not that deep. Celebrities are nothing except human beings that some people choose to keep up with. They’re literally not even special. There are musicians as talented as all your favorites who you’ll never have the opportunity to listen to. There are actors as talented as whoever won the last big acting awards (I get them mixed up) at your local theater, I guarantee it.

this whole thing with abandoning the past, changing the nature of past roles and works, and disavowing any statements made before transition as associated with womanhood or lesbianism is not exactly a good look 

I haven’t seen any of that, and if it is happening then yeah I agree it is stupid but also people say and do stupid things literally every single day and I shrug and move on. But even if it IS the case, it is not what the people I’m referencing here were bothered by. They were bothered by someone transitioning because they had an investment in that person (who again, is only special in the way that any other random human being you pull of the street would be special) not transitioning, and it is stupid to have that kind of investment in a straight up stranger. It is one thing when you have a buddy that you think is transitioning for the wrong reasons or with unrealistic expectations, and it is one thing to look at the rates of masculine female people who transition and just scratch your head because the rates of us who can only find dysphoria mitigation through transition cannot possibly be this high- both super reasonable imo. It is another to find out some random person is transitioning and whine about it on the internet and expect people not to regard that behavior as ridiculous when it is, in fact, ridiculous.

by becoming famous and choosing to live in the public eye, you open yourself up to public critique and you don't (and shouldn't) have the ability to fully control that 

Agreed here. I also think that if you believed you were x and millions of people made fun of you for it, since again celebrities are literally just random people, you’d be upset by it. But agreed, at the end of the day you cannot and should not get invested heavily in attempts to control the way people look at you.

Honestly I think this situation could have been handled better or something if this is them living their truth 

All due respect, I think the kinds of people complaining that I was referencing agree with you that the whole thing could have been handled better, but I think that “handled better” in their opinion means not coming out. Which, fair enough, but you have to own up to that and just cop to the fact that you generally oppose transition- it is much more reasonable to say that than it is to say you don’t generally oppose transition but every time you hear about it you assume it is coming from self hatred.

I’ve been pretty open about what I think about nonbinary identity (and, while I try to stay very uninformed on celebs in general, it is my understanding so far that that’s how they are identifying) AS it is expressed and discussed by the majority of people I’ve seen fully embracing it- I think the majority of the time it implies really antifeminist things about what men and women can do and like and look like and be like, I think it very often appeals to women because it sucks to know that the world hates women and to be one, let alone to be one who doesn’t fit the image of what women are supposed to be, I think it very often solidly reinforces gender roles by insinuating that people who do not fit the prescribed gender role for their sex are in fact a whole different entity because real women are straight and pretty or whatever, I think it very often hinges on this idea that the majority of people in the world are walking around with a gender identity when the vast majority are absolutely not- like I am not coming at this from the position that all kinds of identities are good and valid and reasonable and that there is NOTHING TO SEE HERE when it comes to the politics of how nonbinary identity is most often presented. I’m just saying that, if a random person who happens to be a celebrity picking a new name and pronouns really deeply shakes you then that probably indicates that 1) you have a baseline issue with transition in and of itself, which, okay but don’t pretend that that isn’t the case, and 2) you have a problem with celebrity worship and that is nobody’s fault but your own if you’re a grown adult.

[lesbian-vmin]

I don't know if I'm delusional. Between the songs Winter Bear, Sweet Nght, and Blue and Gray have the same impression. Tae is confiding or chatting with someone before his sleep. Am I wrong? If you don't mind. can you make an analysis about this.

Ah, I really try to avoid doing song analyses because I don’t want to make assumptions that could be a far stretch from the truth. I’m more than happy to analyze a song that’s confirmed for one reason or another, but I try to stay away from ones that haven’t been confirmed for any specific purpose.

Winter Bear and Sweet Night are both songs that I’ve thought of as Vmin songs already, in a theoretical mindset (since they’re not confirmed). As for Blue and Gray, this one goes on a different level for me. 

Because I do want to talk about the songs (and this ask gives me an opportunity to do so), I’ll do you the service of providing you with a real answer, but not without a disclaimer. So. This all just in theory. I’m not concluding the songs to have these meanings for sure, and I’m not confirming them as Vmin songs (because that’s not my place, obviously). But nor am I trying to convince anyone that they are Vmin songs. For the purpose of this analysis (as this is a blog that focuses on vmin) I will be treating them as such. Disclaimer disclaimer. Etc. Thank you. (Sorry. I’m sure the average reader knows all of this, but some people take things too seriously, as if they think people can’t speculate and have to believe every word they say. As if human minds aren’t complex. As if science would have progressed to us knowing we revolve around the sun without people questioning face value but okay)

(BELOW THE CUT)

WINTER BEAR

So, it’s pretty obvious this song means a lot to Jimin. He’s always pretty supportive of Taehyung’s songs, but this song seemed to really mean a lot to him. I’m not sure why? What is so different about this song compared to Taehyung’s other songs? Maybe it’s just his favorite? Or maybe there’s a reason it’s his favorite. I’ve wanted to do an analysis on this for a while, but I try not to go on assumptions on this blog, and I also wouldn’t know where to begin. But one thing is clear. This song holds a special place in Jimin’s heart.

One theory that I’ve seen of this song is that it could be about Taehyung’s grandmother, as it was apparently released on the third anniversary of her death (I didn’t know which day exactly she passed). Anyhow, I don’t think Taehyung has talked publicly that that’s the meaning of the song (and people assumed 4 o’clock was about his grandmother as well, even after Namjoon confirmed it was about a friend). 

I do, however, recall seeing a vlive where he said the song was inspired by a movie. And I’m thinking it was a romantic film. About a romantic love. (I will link it here if I find it again, but edit this if I’m wrong.)

Out of respect for his grandmother, and the possibility of the song having to do with her, I wanted to acknowledge that as one of the possible meanings. But, again, for the purpose of this ask, I’m focusing on the Vmin connection. (And the fact that I’m pretty sure Taehyung said it was inspired by a romantic film...but I might even have the song in which he said that about mixed up).

Anyway, I think the lines you are referring to is where he says “you sleep so happily. I wish you a good night”

Taehyung and Jimin seem like they often talk to each other when they have trouble sleeping. They even sleep together often (on camera, and because of Taehyung casually mentioning how he asked Jimin to sleep with him off camera -- and that one time Jimin said Taehyung came to his room after he had a nightmare, when he gifted Taehyung the dream catcher -- I’m going to say it’s probably safe to assume it’s normal for them to sleep together off camera, too).

SWEET NIGHT

When Sweet Night was released, I really got some pretty strong gay love vibes from the song. It could be because I, myself, am gay. But the song always sounded to me like it was two best friends who would sleep together (sharing the same bed, not in a sexual way) and one of them (Taehyung) wakes up one day feeling more. I always imagined that he woke up with the person he’s singing about next to him, but I could be wrong. Anyway, that’s the part that got me feeling it was a gay love song. Because, assuming it’s about Jimin, it’s pretty normal for them to sleep together. They’ve shared a room for a long time, and they often shared beds. It’s not so normal to sleep with your opposite sex best friend, waking up next to them. Unless you have a friends-with-benefits type thing. I guess. But even then, isn’t it a general rule that you don’t actually stay the night?

Another reason this song felt more gay than straight to me was the general confusing Taehyung is expressing. I’ve mentioned before that BTS is well aware of LGBT, but it doesn’t mean it was always like that. I think they became aware of a lot of things as they got older (like many of us do). Also, if both Taehyung and Jimin are gay, it probably took a while for them to admit it to each other.

Romantic movies set aside, I think it’s pretty rare for straight people to have such deep feelings for each other (or someone) and be totally unaware of it. Realistically. This is all going on my own experiences, but most of the straight couples in my life didn’t have to talk to each other for several months before they officially started dating. The gay couples? It was always really frustrating to watch them come to terms with their feelings for each other. Especially when one or both of them weren’t totally comfortable with who they were yet. 

Romantic movies will sometimes tell you a different tale, but they’re movies. And when they do tell a different tale, it’s usually a girl liking a douchy guy instead of her sweet best friend, only to end up with her bestie in the end.

Anyway, let’s talk about the talking while going to sleep part. This to me sounds like the two friends are lying in bed together (or maybe sitting). The one singing (Taehyung) has a lot going through his mind, and his heart is pounding. It sounds like him talking to this person this night is actually a confession. He woke up one day feeling different toward this person he was sleeping next to, and on some other night, he gets all of it off of his chest. I’ve seen a lot of people say that this is the story of a love that never happened, but I don’t see it that way. I think it’s an inconclusive story about a confession being made. We don’t get to hear the resolve.

Assuming it is a Vmin song, I think the resolve is a good one. Because I just think that Jimin would be pretty uncomfortable if Taehyung was writing romantic songs about him and publishing them, knowing that Jimin doesn’t feel the same.

BLUE AND GRAY

For anyone who doesn’t know, this is included on the list because it was initially supposed to be on Taehyung’s mix tape. It’s just that BTS liked the song so much, and he’s not selfish, so it became a BTS song instead.

This one, he’s looking for an angel because he’s having trouble sleeping. He mentions sending his words up into the air, and he falls asleep at dawn.

This song talks about some deeper issues like anxiety and depression, and it’s a song that’s really personal to him. I think the members probably know a lot of the story behind the song, and they probably know a lot about Taehyung’s struggles that led to this song. I think that’s why they liked it so much and wanted it to be part of the album instead of his own song.

I don’t necessarily feel right making this song about a ship, because it’s clearly very personal and talks about some issues Taehyung has had to deal with. However, his members (and his family, and I’m sure other friends) are his support system. (As well as the fans, ofc). He’s called Jimin an angel before, and we know that they often text or call each other when they have trouble sleeping. I’m not going to say that this song is about Vmin, but if Taehyung honestly has a lot of anxiety and worries while trying to go to sleep, I’m glad that he has Jimin to support him. It’s nice to have that friend who is always there for you, especially at times like that when you really need them. Maybe Jimin is the angel in the song. I don’t know.

[tothedarkdarkseas]

Do you think Stu's ego shot up because of the whole rockstar thing, or was he always a little cocky? I know we don't know everything about his old life, but he has such a cocky little smile in that one picture. Maybe the ego was there, but he just didn't have something big to crow about. Just curious, because I like your headcanons about pre-Gorillaz Stu.

(Thank you very much for saying that, I appreciate it!)

I definitely think it’s both-- Stu had a slightly exaggerated baseline ego to begin with, and rockstardom picked that up and ran with it. I’d imagine it could at times have some impact on his relationships, but it became truly unwieldy with fame. Man, I love that ROTO picture, don’t you? He looks like such a smug little prick: he’s got the casual homophobia going on with the lads, he’s got the hairdo, he’s got the smirk, he’s got the underage smoking, they’re sporting the matching little St. Wilfred’s uniforms together and you instantly get a sense of who Stu is in this group. I can imagine his mum brushing his hair to the side like that and him continuing to fix it through the day, because it looks sharp, dunnit? And those other boys would give him a hard time except he’s a foot taller than them and he’s got 3 classroom girlfriends (different classes, of course!) He doesn’t stand out as a “leader” of the pack necessarily, but he does stand out as smug and “cute,” almost certainly the one that girls would like most. I think that element of Stu’s ego was always present, it just presented more as being thoughtless, immature, and uncritical of himself, leading to a string of relationships where he’s described (in surely the most glowing tone) as “Stu-Pot was... er, sweet, but... a bit thick.” As you say, there’s nothing for Stu to direct his ego through except himself, and the main thing that feeds ego for an average (straight, allosexual) guy is female attention. So that’s just kind of where I go with that, in terms of parsing Stu’s ego without music and fame, it seems more bolstered by his coddling mum and his always-short but not catastrophically bad relationships which don’t actually make him consider if he’s the problem, because the lad’s “a bit thick.” I’m sure the text that describes Stu as “sweet” or mild-mannered isn’t flagrantly wrong, I just wonder if 1. the reluctant tone of the teacher or schoolmate isn’t entirely captured there, as well as some bits just coming from his mum 2. it’s a little intentional to contrast that with a picture that looks anything but. I know we’re not necessarily told this group photo is meant to portray “Stu and all his very best mates” or portray exactly what their dynamic would be, but I do think it makes a stronger statement than his mum saying he’s a nice boy over in the margins. Handful of salt about how seriously you interpret it, but it’s a fun picture of adolescent Stu! Er, sorry if I got a bit off topic there. I think you can definitely see a theme across phases 1 and 2 of that same cocky smirk blossoming into bigger, sleazier grins as fame serves up the worst cocktail to a person with lacking self-awareness and some heavy shades of ego. (Whether it’s egomania like Murdoc displays, questionable, but it is certainly ego.)

[capitalism-and-analytics]

Hey, so I heard that Jeff Bezos is on track to be the world's first trillionaire by 2026, and it's being touted as a good thing, but I don't understand why it should be a good thing, especially when taking into consideration the fact that stuff like poverty and world starvation still exist and Bezos could help. Could you explain why people think it's a good thing? Thank you for your time!

Well the first thing to be aware of is that the prediction of Jeff Bezos becoming a trillionaire by 2026 is based on his net worth’s average annual growth over the past five years, which is not a very reliable forecasting method as it assumes Jeff Bezos’ decisions will continue having the same proportional impacts. Furthermore, relies almost entirely by his ownership of Amazon stock and publicly disclosed income without accounting for any debt, expenses, non-disclosed income, contractual agreements, taxes paid, etc, so it’s not even using actual net worth data.

As to why it would be viewed as a “good thing” that is highly subjective, so it will vary from what people perceive as good. If I had to guess as to some likely reasons people would view it as “good” thing, then I would speculate the following:

People are impressed by the large number, therefore view it as an accomplishment. People often forget that Jeff Bezos’ story can somewhat be considered that of a ‘rags to riches’ type due it’s relative growth of how he worked at McDonalds in high school to now being the wealthiest person. A lot of people feel inspired by that or believe they too could be that successful.

A lot of small businesses or sellers utilize the Amazon marketplace as their main source of sales, therefore they perceive Jeff Bezos’ growth correlating directly to Amazon, therefore they believe they will see a significant growth in sales too.

A lot of people have Amazon in their investment portfolio due to it being a blue chip stock, therefore if Amazon’s stock grows at the same pace, then they will benefit too.

A lot of people are consumers of Amazon, therefore they somewhat correlate the financial growth to being an improvement to their shopping experience in some manner. For example, a decade ago 2 day free shipping was being introduced, whereas now in some areas there is same day free shipping and 2 day free shipping in almost all of the USA.

From an innovation perspective, Amazon is one of the global leaders in R&D and they are expanding into a lot of areas, therefore it can be quite interesting to know that we will be seeing a lot of innovation by them in the future. Good example of this is that Amazon is one of the leaders in self-driving technology and cloud services technology.

Like I said those are some guesses.

As for considering, 

“ the fact that stuff like poverty and world starvation still exist and Bezos could help “

You are absolutely correct and that is a fair question, but something to be aware of is the fact that Bezos wealth isn’t often represented as “cash”, but it is predominantly investments, specifically in Amazon stock ownership. For him to “help” it would require him to sell his stock, which could have far more significant implications that we aren’t aware of. That’s not to avoid the question or justify not helping those in need, but merely acknowledging that we shouldn’t rush to conclusion without fully understanding the necessary information.

Furthermore, I think a good explanation as to why I think it is morally acceptable for Jeff Bezos to continue to save his money/wealth is acknowledging the greater potential of helping those in need later. 

For example, let’s say Jeff Bezos donated all of his wealth away today ($183.3b) and it magically was perfectly liquidated (i.e. could convert all of his stock straight to cash). Alternatively, he could donate zero today and donate all of his wealth in 2026 ($1 trillion). Objectively, more people will benefit from him waiting than not waiting.

Unfortunately, we do not know his plans, so it’s pure speculation, but my moral perspective is that the absence of good does not equate to wrong doing, therefore does not justify forceful intervention. In other words, I will almost always support people voluntarily donating, but if someone choose not to donate, that doesn’t inherently make them a bad person.

Lastly, something that I think people often fail to realize is that although most people would prefer aid in the form of cash. There is significant benefits through innovation and improving society. I know a lot of people will think I am absurd for saying this, but providing people jobs prevents more people from being homeless or starving than most one-time donations to homeless shelters. Don’t get me wrong, donating to homeless shelters is still great and all, it’s just that preventing people from being unemployed is a far better benefit in the long-term.

[windwardstar]

Hey so this is oddly specific and really just pertains to the fic that I'm writing but I'd seriously appreciate if you could help me out because I really don't want to get this wrong. In the story I'm writing, people are being held hostage in this psychiatric office, and one of the hostages is this ten-year-old girl with autism, so I was just wondering if you could provide some tips on writing autistic characters in stressful places? (POV is from an allistic person btw)

Treat them like you would any other character you have and think about how they’d react as the person/character they are. If you’re already on the right track in writing them, then this should give you a decently accurate way to figure out how your character would react.

Every person reacts to things differently. It’s the same for autistic people.

If you’re not sure how kids react, I’d suggest looking up kids in general. Sources about autistic kids are likely to be incredibly ableist and treat the kids as less capable than they are. So, work with the basis of a NT kid for building the framework on how your character is going to react in the broad strokes. (Autism is a developmental disorder, so your character may float more around the age range in terms of reaction than allistic kids, but since you’re asking me how to write autistic kids and it’s an allistic POV i’m going to advise you to stick within the range of an average 10 year old to avoid potential infantalization problems.)

But possible sources of additional stress / autistic reactions that your character could run into that an allistic kid might not have as much a problem with:

- disruption to routine. depending on how much your character adheres to a routine and what shape the routine takes, this could be a huge deal. If they normally go to get ice cream or get something to eat afterwards, or they go straight home and get in pj’s or whatever, not being able to do that could create additional distress in the autistic character.  This routine could be established if this is a frequent (weekly or bi weekly thing) or an infrequent thing (monthly, every few months) and could be a “this is what they do on x day of the week” or “this is what they do when they go to x building.”

(Like… I go to therapy saturday mornings. If I don’t go to therapy on saturday morning, the day feels off but I can manage (usually because I was given at least a week notice so it was planned in advance). If I do go, after therapy I always go home and take a nap. Sometimes I stop by the store or the park first, but I always go home and take a nap. If I wasn’t able to leave the office because of a hostage situation… I’d be likely to break down crying and go into a meltdown or shutdown because my routine is crucial for my ability to decompress after a therapy session. So, I have a on x day routine (going on saturdays) and a place dependent routine (what I do after going to therapy.) and either one of those can throw me off.)

- I mentioned before (and this is for everyone, not just the autistic kid) but doctor’s visits and all that are stressful on their own. So distress tolerance level is going to be down for everyone because they’ve already been dealing with the stress of that. And now they’ve got a hostage situation to deal with.

- Sensory things. Like, are people screaming or crying or making loud noises? Are they yelling? Is the kid getting yelled at for stimming (rocking, hand flapping, vocal stims). Are they being allowed to stim? (like does your kid usually stim by walking around?) Are there any bright lights or flashing lights? (Are there sirens or police/ambulance flashing lights). Is the temperature too hot or too cold? Are they wearing uncomfortable clothes? Do they usually wear ear defenders or headphones and are they able to use them? are they able to use their stim toys (tangles, squishes, dolls, whatever?) Does your character understand spoken speech, does she have trouble processing language, does it get worse when she’s stressed or tired? Is someone shouting orders at her that she’s not understanding? or not capable of following? (”stop crying”

- is she aware of what’s going on? Like 10 year old me was SUPER oblivious to things going on. Like… is the hostage situation low key and is her parent/legal guardian keeping her calm and quiet and just telling her “we can’t leave yet, just play with your dolls/color” so she’s not even aware of what’s /really/ going on?

(Also like.. 20 yo me was too. Idk if I’ve ever shared the story on tumblr… but like I had someone attempt to rob me while I was working as a cashier and I just completely misread the situation and kept telling him to go to guest services because I couldn’t open the drawer and wasn’t sure what he was telling me and was like “ok but I don’t see why a gun changes this.” and he eventually left annoyed and I felt bad because I didn’t understand what he wanted.. I realized like a few years after the fact in a “OH MY GOD THAT”S WHAT WAS GOING ON” moment.)

- Meltdowns and shutdowns are big things that if your character was highly activated that I would expect to happen. Those are things that plenty of people have written posts about, so I’d suggest looking up those since that’s another long thing that I don’t think will fit all in this post. But they’re basically extreme responses to distress. Meltdowns aren’t tantrums. Shut downs aren’t refusing to cooperate. They’re literally the person reaching a breaking point of being able to handle everything going on and they either explode (meltdown) or disconnect (shutdown) and they tend to have very little control of what they do at that point because it’s literally just the body reacting the only way it can to protect itself.

If you haven’t already, I’d check out my How To Write Autism posts too.

[ante--meridiem]

(You don't have to answer if this is too personal btw) It's just that I've known for about two years that I'm probably-mostly a lesbian, but I never had someone to talk to about it seriously. I'm almost 19 now and never really tried to get involved with someone romantically because I don't want to weird anyone out or make them uncomfortable. And I know that doing stuff at my own pace is totally cool but sometimes I worry that I'm late to the game or something :/ What were your experiences?

Hi anon :). Don’t worry, it’s not too personal. (I mean, my answer is quite personal, but what is tumblr for if not over sharing with strangers on the internet? :P) I hope my experiences can help you, though if you’re looking for dating advice the most I can say is “don’t do what I did”.

I can empathise with a lot in this ask. I realised that I was gay at about the same time as you, and it felt late to me as well - but going by what I've heard from other lesbians I've talked to, I think it's actually quite average. (I think the reason it feels late to us is because most "common knowledge" about LGBTQ stuff tends to focus on gay men, who just anecdotally seem to realise a lot earlier on average). I'm still not 100% confident in my sexuality - I settled on "lesbian" more by process of elimination than anything else. The only thing I'm mostly certain of is that I'm not straight - I could potentially be wrong about liking girls, or about not liking guys, but there is no way that I'm attracted to men more than to women.

Extensive discussion of my personal life below, feel free to read if you want to.

Getting to identify as a lesbian was a really long, confusing process for a few reasons. I'm the kind of person who tends to overintellectualise and overrationalise my feelings, so it was far too easy for me to convince myself that I felt the things I "should" feel. My immediate environment was never intensely homophobic (...extended family is a different matter, I'm still not out to them because I'm pretty sure my grandmother would react very badly based on arguments we've had about LGBTQ rights in the past), but the possibility of being anything other than straight just wasn't discussed, other than in a "that's weird and inappropriate for children" kind of way, so I ended up with the impression that being gay is such an unusual and distinct experience that it would be impossible not to know if you were. 

In retrospect, there were a some feelings I had for girls when I was younger that would probably count as crushes/puppy love (I made a girl a Valentines Day card when I was 11, for God's sake, and in my naive obliviousness didn't think anything of it) but somehow I never connected that feeling of intense, nervous admiration to what a crush was supposed to feel like. I managed to think my way into believing I liked various boys and had a tendency to confuse mutual respect for romantic love. (Those "crushes" made me sure for a while that I couldn't be gay, because I liked boys, didn't I? It's honestly hard for me to pick out a detail that proves they were fake, even now, but the main thing that stands out is I preferred talking about how much I liked them over actually talking to them.) Later, I had a phase where I rationalised that romantic love was a lie and indistinguishable from platonic love, and I shouldn’t care so much about it - even though part of me very much cared. 

I can pretty much split my realisation into two parts; realising I wasn't attracted to men and realising I was attracted to women. Both parts were difficult, but in their own way. The easiest one (or maybe I should say "simplest" one, since while it was fairly obvious it wasn't particularly easy emotionally - it made me feel even more weird and out of place, which I’d already felt for other reasons) was realising I wasn't sexually attracted to men - except that at the time, I just parsed it as not being interested in sex generally. Somehow the possibility of sex that didn't involve men at all wasn't something I was really aware of. My friends would talk about how attractive various men were, and I'd just feel extremely confused and like I was missing something. Being the pretentious person I was I rationalised it as "sex is meaningless anyway, all I really care about is love". 

The other half was much more confusing, but happened in a pretty cliché way - I fell in love with a friend. I can't actually say how long it took me to realise that because I'd always seen her differently from my other friends, but I put it down to admiration, jealousy and wishing I could be her. I kind of assumed that she was just so special that everyone must feel that way around her. A moment that stands out is when she was telling me about various guys who'd asked her out, and I started feeling weirdly jealous about it but also found myself thinking well I can't blame them, if I were a guy I'd want to date her too. From there it took about a year to realise that the "if I were a guy" clause wasn't necessary. It felt completely different from my other “crushes” - she made me feel happy more than nervous, I wanted things to stay just between us instead of wanting to share them with everyone, she popped into my head unasked for instead of me making myself think about her. I was hyperaware of her presence and couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful she was - which had never happened with a guy.

At that point I started calling myself biromantic asexual (terms I found on the internet and never actually used in real life - the most I told anyone was that I was bi, which it still took a long time to be willing to do - I think I was seventeen by the time I actually told anyone I might be bi), but I was still very uncertain of it. For a long time I told myself that I didn't really like girls, I just liked her. I was also completely in denial that my attraction had any physical component at all, because I felt like that would make it less "pure" and I was terrified of being creepy. I tried asking my parents for advice, but they insisted that admiring your friends a lot was normal and didn't mean anything, and I couldn't explain how I knew that this was different. (It didn't help that they believed the only difference between friendship and romance is physical attraction, and I couldn’t define any other difference even though I knew there was one). My mom was hesitant because it would be harder for me if I wasn’t straight, which... I know she meant well, but it came off like she thought I was choosing to overcomplicate my life, something I internalised and that made me second-guess things even more.

Even once I accepted that I was probably bi, a part of me felt certain I would end up with a man, but I wasn’t happy about it - every time I thought about it, I felt resentful. It was the kind of thing that felt like a bad kind of inevitability. I was also scared to tell the friend in question I liked her, because the pessimistic part of me felt certain she was straight even though she’d hinted otherwise. Eventually I did though, but only when she was about to move away to study in university, and because I was afraid of freaking her out I decided to phrase it in past tense and downplay it (”I used to kind of have a crush on you”). When she took it well, I gained the courage to say I still liked her, but had been afraid to say anything because I was afraid of how she’d react. She told me I should have told her sooner, that gender didn’t matter to her and I shouldn’t have assumed she’d reject me. We spent the next few months exchanging semi-flirtatious messages and she said she might consider dating me some day, which came to a head when I realised she didn’t really mean that. I asked her to just straight up reject me - which she did. 

During all this time, I’d come to be very close friends with a guy. He understood me better than almost anyone except the friend I liked (or so I thought at the time) and I felt like I could tell him anything. He asked me out (knowing about the other friend who I was definitely not over) and I accepted, for all the wrong reasons - because it was flattering to be liked, because I was afraid no-one else would like me, because I was trying to get over her and didn’t want to be alone, and because I couldn’t find a reason not to. I told him I thought I might be asexual, but agreed to physical intimacy (not sex, mind you, just kissing and cuddling, but it was enough for me to feel between bored and uncomfortable) anyway, for a lot of the same wrong reasons. 

The relationship wasn’t bad per se, at least at first, but it felt - empty. Like ticking off the boxes of what a healthy relationship should be. We had deep, intimate conversations but it never felt like enough. At first, I tried pushing him for more - more depth, more intensity - because I was annoyed with what felt like complacency from him. I couldn’t understand how he could be satisfied - even happy - with what we had. I felt like I was doing something wrong, like I didn’t know how to love right. The first time I tried to break up with him was after I’d introduced him to my former crush, and he noticed that as soon as she was around she had my full attention. I felt incredibly guilty, there was a lot of crying on both sides, but eventually we didn’t break up. The question came up again a few times - he tried to break up with me as well because he sensed I was being distant, and during this whole time, I started fantasising about being with various girls. This was when I started acknowledging that I might not be asexual after all. 

In the end, I decided to call myself a lesbian because it was the hard boundary I needed to draw in order to break off the relationship, and kept the label because nothing else seemed a better fit, but part of me still felt like I was faking it. (I once made a friend laugh by saying I had imposter syndrome about my sexuality). I was out to a few people - my closer friends, my parents and my English teacher - but only started being fully open about it once I went to university. I got involved in various LGBTQ communities and while I never felt I fit in especially well with the other people there, it did make the label feel less alien, to the point where I was comfortable casually referring to myself as gay. I even went on a few dates with a girl, but I could feel myself trying to force feelings that weren’t there again. I’d latched on to my sexuality as an explanation for why my last relationship went wrong, and I think I wanted to prove to myself that I could feel the right things if I were with someone of the right gender. 

After we decided we wouldn’t work out I decided to stop trying to force things. Right now, I’m very comfortable being single and think it’s best I stay that way until or unless I develop feelings for someone else naturally, though the thought of dating a girl someday makes me feel warm fluttery things in my stomach. (I do realise the chances I’ll just fall in love again without looking for it, and that she’ll be into girls and into me, are very small, but I don’t see a better option).  I’m also out to most people who are a regular presence in my life, extended family aside, and the label has stopped feeling just “good enough” and started actually feeling right.