#i don't think i Know what his character would be like b/c who does for sure b/c that's part of the point of what we get in canon but

[jade-len]

so today i tricked my very straight male friend into reading svsss.

okay look, i wasn't planning to at first and it's not like it was completely my fault. he wanted to read it!

i was showing him how badly they fucked up mu qingfang in the donghua by comparing it to the english novel design (he said that mu qingfang went from looking like a soft dilf to a predator registered on the epstein island list). and then, i showed him how different some of the other character designs were like gongyi xiao's ("he looks like he'd be a genshin character" -friend, to eng novel design) and luo binghe's ("lowkey, he kinda gives airbender vibes" -friend, to bunhe eng novel design)

so that was all i was gonna show him, nothing else. but after seeing them, he goes, "these designs actually look hella cool. what's the book called?"

now, do i:

A. tell him the name, eventually revealing that it's a danmei when he looks it up?

B. just straight up tell him that it's a danmei?

C: don't tell him the name just yet, spill the summary, get him interested, and tell him to not search anything up about it because there's heavy spoilers and it will reveal them the moment he types it up on the search bar

i go with C, obviously.

me: so, basically, some guy named shen yuan transmigrates into an incel harem male power fantasy novel where the protagonist, luo binghe, has hundreds of wives. thing is though, the guy pretty much took over the body of binghe's teacher he had when he was a teenager, who turns out to be a really scummy dude. and now he has to be nice to him so that the protagonist doesn't rip off his limbs and put him into a pickle pot in the future to suffer for eternity.

friend: that sounds hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

me: yes it is, and you should read it. it's like. my favorite novel at the moment. but don't search up anything about it because people spoil that shit. i'll let you borrow my novel

friend: nah don't worry, i'll just pirate it

friend: wait. does it have pictures?

me, my plan coming together: yeah, it has pictures. buuut, when you pirate it, it doesn't. trust me dude, i tried and was severely disappointed. plus, the physical copy is so much better

friend: fuck yeah ok thanks

me: hold on though. i'll text you later to see if my friend who's borrowing it rn is done reading it

he's hyped. he's excited. he craves a good book and a good transmigration interpretation. he's especially happy about the fact that it takes place in a chinese setting with cool powers and an actual good main character. "this sounds so good, god i wanna read it so bad."

i tell him that binghe is actually adorable, too. that it's pretty much found family! my friend then asks if shen yuan adopts him and becomes a father figure or something.

and i said "yes". you know, like a liar. (the father figure part probably isn't a lie though)

now i'm gonna give him the novel tomorrow! of course, i'm gonna cover the chapter 2 bunhe sexual awakening scene with washi tape and say that my baby cousin (sorry baby cousin, you would never <\3) scribbled all over that paragraph with her markers, and since i'm a neat book freak, i put washi tape and just wrote the scene! i don't know if that's really all too believable, but he didn't seem to care that much. just a simple "if my baby cousin did that to my book i would punt them into the sun"

i think what'll be more hilarious is the fact that you can't really tell that svsss is a BL. especially not volume 1. there's like, only a few lines indicating, but if you remove the baby binghe sexual awakening scene then you probably won't be able to know (...if you don't really read romance or anything. idk he's kinda dense anyways). so let's hope he gets attached and has a slow descent into the homo before i drop svsss vol 2 on him!

ok anyways i'll update you guys later with a reblog. maybe in about two or three days lol

(also don't worry, we already fuck around with each other on a daily basis like this. he's already tricked me into reading some manga i was unprepared for, and i thought that it'd be funny to mess around with him using svsss this time lol)

[melbatron5000]

Murder Board 2.0

Updated 4/30/24

Since I've figure a few things out, I need to re-do my Murder Board. New answers, new questions.

What I think I know:

NEIL GAIMAN IS A LYING LIAR WHO LIES. Except when he's dropping hints or answering straight out. All of his answers to anything anyone asks about GO are suspect at best. (I cannot blame him or anyone else on the cast or crew -- they spent A LOT of time and energy building this very meticulous puzzle game for us -- why would ANY of them give ANY of it away? That would ruin all the fun!)

Most of the discontinuity of Season 2 can be explained by POV switches between characters. See here and here for more. I think the title/location cards are also probably POV Clues, that needs a closer look.

Crowley gave something to Aziraphale in his mouth when they kissed. It's the fly. Now, what else was in the fly besides Gabriel's memory? RECORDS. Incriminating records that are why the Metatron let Beelzebub and Gabriel go, but nailed Aziraphale. The Metatron knows Gabriel has those records, he doesn't know they got passed to Aziraphale.

Saraqael and Crowley and by proxy, Aziraphale are all working together. See here and here for more. That explains A. the tiny miracle blowing up into a 25 Lazarii miracle. It didn't. They had to cover for something else that did. B. Saraqael showing the archangels the book shop in 2019 in the spy hole. C. Crowley's spy turtle neck and where he went during Aziraphale's Job flashback. D. Why Saraqael helps him see the trial in Heaven. (Oh! Muriel's now in on it, too!)

Crowley's memory is fine, it's a red herring. He is dissing Furfur, he is denying knowing Saraqael even after she gives him a reason to recognize her to hide that they are working together. He tells Jim he doesn't remember why they invented gravity, but that whole scene if from Aziraphale's perspective, so the conversation likely didn't actually go just like that.

Shax is on a mission besides Gabriel -- she's looking for whatever Aziraphale and Crowley are hiding. Gabriel is a side-mission.

The hand-washing comment from Crowley in the Resurrectionists minisode -- he tells DaVinci about helicopters in Good Omens the novel. It's just a thing he can do.

What is up with Maggie? Maggie's freaking Jesus 2.0. She's what Shax is looking for, and who Crowley, Aziraphale, and Saraqael are hiding. Also, where is God? God is busy being Maggie, that's where. That's why Crowley says "Oh God" before his speech in the final fifteen. He's bringing up what they're hiding, reminding Aziraphale that someone has to stay and keep an eye on Maggie. That's why he can't go. Now, how the FUCK did Jesus 2.0 wind up owning a record store she inherited from her family NEXT TO AN ANGEL??

SECRET SONGS??? Why are the songs secret?? I'm losing my mind, what is happening?? I think this is a message that A. Aziraphale and Crowley are okay, and B. We will absolutely be getting part 3 of 1941.

I still think the scenes might be out of order. Is it as simple as watching them in chronological order? Could be.

The Metatron is a naked man.

Aziraphale and Crowley are talking in subtext A LOT. Aziraphale's tells are easier to spot than Crowley's. He raises his eyebrows and does vocal bunny rabbit ears. "Our Gabriel miracle," "The establishment in question," "Certainly on to something," "Haven't yet cracked the case." I haven't picked out Crowley's tells yet.

What still needs answering:

The clocks jumping time still don't make any sense.

The weird hand in the 1941 photo still doesn't make sense.

Aziraphale's chair position being moved still doesn't make sense.

The extras behaving strangely still doesn't make sense.

Crowley's car being in the wrong spot on the road after Shax threatens him still doesn't make any sense.

I'm not sure that the POV switches explains all the weird sounds -- Aziraphale turns to look at a crashing sound when he returns from Edinburgh, the very loud clock in the final fifteen BUT ALSO when Jim says he will go out to the demons.

I'm not sure that POV switches explain Crowley's sunglasses going from silver to black.

I still don't know why Aziraphale went to Edinburgh, or why he stopped at the graveyard where Gabriel's statue is.

Why does Michael do the "nothing's in the box" thing with the matchbox? It's a petty specific action. Someone pointed out that Michael's nails look chewed and terrible, are we meant to stare at the matchbox while something else goes unnoticed? Well, duh. But what?

We most certainly did not get the whole scene where the Metatron is talking to Aziraphale. What else was said?

What did Crowley do during his ALL-NIGHT JAUNT in Heaven? Did he sneak around and steal something? Did he uncover something? Did they hurt him?

What did Aziraphale do with his briefcase that he took to Edinburgh? We see it in the book shop from his POV, and Edinburgh is seen from Crowley's POV, so they both know it exists. And then it's gone.

Why does Gabriel prophecy with God's voice? IS it God's voice? It's a woman, is it Frances McDormand? It's hard to hear. When he remembers the beginning, I think it's God's voice. When he prophecies, it may be someone else. Frances McDorman has no credit in that episode.

Why the heck did Maggie and Nina go talk to Crowley while the Metatron was talking to Aziraphale? What they had to say wasn't important enough to leave Nina's shop during a rush, and I definitely don't think they derailed Crowley from what he needed to say to Aziraphale, though it might look at first as if they did. So what was that about?

When Shax stops Aziraphale for a ride, he says, "Oh, I really need to get to --" and then is cut off. He really needs to get to where? It's an easy assumption to think he means the book shop, or London. But is that all he means? Or was he on his way somewhere else? And if it was just the book shop, what does he mean he's late? Late for what?

Crowley can tell "something's wrong," and he doesn't just mean the demons. What?

When Crowley leaves Heaven, he tells Saraqael and Muriel to come, too. But in the elevator, Michael and Uriel are there! When the fuck did they show up??

Why does Beelzebub tell Shax to attack the bookstore? Aren't they worried about Gabriel being harmed? And they know Hell is understaffed. Maybe that's why they command it? Because they know Shax won't be able to get the demons?

What about the Masons? It's such a specific thing for the pub owner to bring up, what is the meaning of it? And Maggie has a Mason symbol on her necklace. Did the Masons carve the statue of Gabriel? When did they see him?

The only narration we hear in the entire season is Aziraphale in the Resurrectionist flashback. I believe this is to throw us off the POV character switches all season. But still, why do we only hear him narrate 1 flashback? I think he's reading the diary to himself in the present day. That would explain the end, "And that was the last I was to see of Crowley for some time." He JUST heard the story of the jukebox from Maggie. And Gabriel appearing -- same city that statue is in. Of course he thought of something important from that diary entry! Now, what did he notice?

Is the Book of Life a real threat? We hear two stories about it, that it's real and that its ability to erase beings was something to scare the cherubs with, this is inconclusive. Crowley gets nervous after Beelzebub talks to him, but I think he's pissed that Heaven and Hell have taken an interest in them again, especially since they're trying to hide Maggie!Jesus.

So many promo posters show Aziraphale, Crowley, and Jimbriel together, or symbols of them. Three feathers: two white, one black. Tea cup, cocoa mug, wine glass. The three of them. Not with Beelzebub, not with Muriel, the three of them. And all three of them have been Jesus-coded in some small way. No one else. Those three. What. Why. Are they the sacrifice required to bring about the new world? Why not Beez, then?

Wait. Two Crowleys?? WTF. There are two Crowley puppets in the magic shop. Am I insane? I have no theory here, just some wild speculation that needs a lot more time to simmer. Two actual Crowleys, or two ideas of Crowley? Or something to hurt my head?

An album on the wall in Maggie's shop says "Rat Keith." This seems to me to be an allusion to The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, by Terry Pratchett. In the book, some men have tied several rats' tails together to create a rat king that keeps the wild rats under control -- except that the rat king has too much power and is doing way more than just that. People die. So who's been given too much power and is now running the show instead of being a puppet? The Metatron, perhaps? Hm . . .

WHAT is going on with that damn white head statue in Aziraphale's book shop? It's centered in more than one shot, as if it's a character. Is it a POV hint? I wonder, if it is, whose POV it represents?

A blog that I didn't reblog pointed out that the record Aziraphale is listening to when Garbriel shows up is neither Shostakovich nor 21 minutes long. That seems important, but I'm not sure how.

What the heck does Furfur mean by "little monkey in the waistcoat?" How does that sound like Crowley?

Why does Mrs. H say "for God's sake" two times in a row? No one says that on this show without a meaning.

I count at least three times that Crowley approaches Aziraphale and Aziraphale looks to his left, but Crowley is not on his left. In fact, Crowley is not on the left a LOT this season.

Shax notices Crowley going to Heaven and makes an epiphany face.

Why is the end credit music for the ball French cafe music? French must be important. And the end credit music for The Hitchhiker is old timey and scratchy, then skips and becomes the same song in a newer, clearer style. Because they repeat the bullet catch trick in the modern day, perhaps?

I thought I heard that Crowley and Aziraphale are in the fly in the opening sequence, but nope. So why are they in a cave?

Why are there multiple elevators and multiple mountains in the opening sequence??? What the hell does that mean??

Repeating themes: (I am just realizing that these aren't just themes, they are all Clues!)

Beverages of all kinds -- tea for Aziraphale, wine or whiskey for Crowley, cocoa for Jim.

Time -- lots of clocks/mentions of time. Everyone notices the ticking clock during the Final Fifteen, but it's ticking loud when the demons attack the ball, too. Also, why is the first scene of Whickber street shown at high-speed? Is time sped up? Or something else?

Love/partnership/togetherness being stronger than separateness

Memories/forgetting/remembering

Payment -- money comes up in both the Resurrectionists minisode and the Flesh Eating Nazi Zombies minisode, but no one pays for anything in present. There is bartering, but no money. Actually, both times money is brought up, it's Crowley using Aziraphale's money. It's funny, but I feel like there's a point to it.

Rising from the dead -- Job's kids (even though they weren't actually dead), bodies used for science, Nazi zombies, the Second Coming. I think this is all just hinting around Jesus -- sure, hinting around Jesus, who we were expecting to show up in Season 3, but she's already here. The hints indicate that she is already on Earth, not going to show up next season. Ha!

Unreliable narrators. Because we are seeing the whole show from various characters' points of view. Because of that, we can only see what they know, expect, believe, or understand, but also what they want us to see. We need to take the whole second season with a grain of salt.

Death in general -- but 9a., I'm a dirty pagan, why didn't I make this connection sooner, death always leads to REBIRTH, change, something totally new and 9b. there are tarot cards in the magic shop, and even if you're not a dirty pagan, the Death tarot card means transition, something must die before a new thing can be born. Hmmmm.

Morality and what is "good" and what is right

Recognition and identity. Ah! Probably at least partly because Maggie is Jesus. How would you recognize her? She doesn't look like White Jesus, or even a more realistic Middle-Eastern or Black Jesus. She looks like Maggie. Who would know her? I think there's more to this theme, but Maggie as Jesus 2.0 adds up.

Licenses, permits, permissions, rules, proof, evidence, what's allowed. All of the minisodes mention this, and it all gets mentioned again over and over. Because Heaven and Hell do have rules they have to follow. Which drives home my theory that Gabriel stole some very incriminating records from Heaven when he left, Crowley got hold of them and gave them to Aziraphale during the kiss, and now Aziraphale is going to nail them.

Colors. Job's kids are dressed in the colors of Nina, Maggie, and Aziraphale's shops. Jesus on the Resurrectionist Pub sign is in blue and orange, blue and orange crop up a lot in extra's clothing, as do yellow and red, Crowley colors. The Ladies of Camelot are in orange and blue. Maggie's shop is orange, Nina's is blue.

Horses. Horse statue, horse wine label, people saying "dark horse." The four horsemen again?

Repeating words and phrases:

Technically

Properly

Isn't it just?

Too late

Funny old world

Not as such

Made for each other

EVERYWHERE

Obviously

Two shakes of a lamb's tail

Dark horse

What are you/am I? As opposed to WHO. Aziraphale asks in the Land of Uz, and Crowley asks Gabriel.

Are you sure? Quite sure.

The Marvelous Mr. Fell is described as marvelous in his mysterosity, Shax says the demons have dangerosity.

Mrs. H in 1941 says "for God's sake" twice in quick succession.

Hints:

Powell and Pressburg films

The Crow Road

Catch 22

The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, Terry Pratchett in general

Jane Austin

Book Good Omens

Season 1 Good Omens

The titles of episodes, minisodes, places, etc. 7a. The Arrival: a book and a movie, though the book seems far more relevant. And lovely. The Clue: a movie. Companion to Owls: a line from a Bible story. I Know Where I'm Going: a movie. The Resurrectionists: two novels, each called The Resurrectionist, singular. Both look unhinged. The Hitchhiker: a Twilight Zone episode. Nazi Zombie Flesheaters: Literally no other reference. ?? Nazi Zombies do appear in a LOT of movies, comics, and video games, usually as a dark joke. The Ball: a video game. Irrelevant? It's a puzzle-based game, so maybe not. Every Day: a song AND a movie. Some themes repeat here: Puzzle games, being re-directed from one's path to find true love, death and being brought back to life in a gruesome and unpleasant way.

Objects that get a close-up/centering:

Starmaker's nebula book

Shostakovich record

Tomatoes

The box

The Bentley

Eccles cakes

The bell

Head statue

The book Jim drops

Jukebox

Gabgriel's statue

Laudanum bottle

Phones in Edinburgh episode

"Very closed" sign

Broken whiskey bottles in 1941

Furfur's camera

Bullet catch in the magic shop

Instruction booklet for bullet catch gets 3 close ups

Puppets

Dancer's silhouette

Mr. Fell sign

The actual bullet

Angelic beings book

Photo evidence

Shax's shoes

"Surrender the angle" brick

[lightfeltmemories]

chilchuck tims: nsfw alphabet

note: we need more content on this guy, he's so damn fine and i'm not afraid to admit it lmao, i have plans on doing the other characters one of these days, i'm mad nervous of mischaracterizing him so apologies if something seems.... off. there is also a fem afab reader in mind but i'll try my best to appeal to anyone, we chilchuck fans gotta stick together lmaooo.

tw: none.

minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked if seen liking, reblogging, or commenting on this post.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

when the two of you first did it, he.. wasn't very good at the concept, at first he would either get up to be by himself for a while or just... not do anything really, but over the years of the two of you being together he started to slowly get better, it started off small such as cuddling with you and watching you fall asleep, then it started with small conversations whilst bathing.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on him, he likes his hands, the way the grab onto you as he fucks you, but on you, your hips and waist.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

something tells me his cum has some salty undertones, or it tastes like nothing, he also doesn't cum much either, if he were to cum on your stomach..... would it even reach your bellybutton? yes probably.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

a moment ago, laois had asked him if he had ever thought about having a threesome, and of course he said no because that's kind of weird... is it? the concept of it all is eating away at him and one of these days, it wouldn't hurt to try it at least once.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

this guy (canonically) has three kids, three daughters, and a previous wife, of course this guy has experience, but outside of the concept of procreation.. that's kind of where things steer left, realistically back in the day, people only really had sex due to procreation, and theres a high chance in hell that he never knew women could orgasam until he met you, and that's when he started to gain more experience in pleasing his partner.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he usually prefers positions that gives him a good view of your face, he thinks it's beautiful the way your face scrunches up when he enters you, and when the two of you look at one another when he pounds away at you, but other positions are fine as well.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

a serious man he is, it ruins the intimate atmosphere if someone's cracking jokes, but he isn't above lighting up the mood if it ever calls for it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he has hair down there, not the bushiest but it's not the neatest, either, i don't think he cares much for grooming himself down there. as long as it doesn't smell bad then who cares?

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

just like aftercare, at first it kind of felt like a hookup, like it was just... sex, really, but further into the relationship, he started to take his time more, asking what you liked, willing to continue to make sure you cum as well.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he has done it before as a last resort, but he doesn't do it as often especially after he got with you, it's not even necessary now.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

he doesn't have many kinks, but he finds it kind of hot when you sit on his face, especially if you're a chubby one with some curves, when the two of you are alone you'll see his hands caress your body... yeah i feel like he definitely has a thing for curves lmao.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

it has to be in a place where the party (or anyone for that matter) cannot hear or see the two of you, your place is definitely his favorite.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

nine times out of ten, you being half naked such as coming back from bathing, or wearing something that shows a bit of cleavage or skin tight can get him up a little, also, i imagine him having a thing for some slight brattiness, do with that what you will.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

obviously anything with bodily fluids, but that's too obvious, isn't it? for one he's not too keen on degradation, he doesn't get the premise of.. insulting his partner during intercourse, i also feel like he cringes at the thought of pet names such as "baby" anything similar, especially during sex.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

definitely a giver, at first he wasn't really good since outside of pure procreation he didn't know what to do much, but after learning what you liked, he started to get better and better, he also loves when you go down on him, too.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

not very fast, but also not very slow, right in the middle, enough to hear some slaps, enough for the bed to shake a little, but when he's close to cumming, he goes faster.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

quickies are rare, he doesn't think about them often, you've only done like 2 quickies with him, honestly.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

it would kill him if he ever got caught by the party, especially laois.. the endless teasing would be unbearable.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he surprisingly has some good stamina, especially for someone who doesn't fight...... often... he can go for a while, not really a "night till dawn" type though.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

you two don't own toys at the moment, unless you ask..? he might be up for it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he don't look it, but this man can tease, right when you're about to cum, he'll pull away just to see you whine, of course he won't leave you hanging for long.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

quiet.. but not silent, his moans are cute, especially when you tease him, and when he's about to cum you can hear him slightly grow louder, don't tease him for it though he'll be embarrassed.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

as much as he doesn't like getting caught, he has definitely wanted you to suck him off while the party was sleeping, he won't ask for it though because it's too risky, but the though of it makes him rock solid.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's average length for someone of his species, he may not have the biggest dick but he knows what to do with it, i give his size about 5 or so inches when hard.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

pretty low, sex isn't the most important factor of his relationship, but it isn't a once every blue moon type of thing though.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

it depends, sometimes he falls asleep right away, sometimes he stays up a little, you might even be the one to fall asleep first.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

NSFT Alphabet: Matthias Czernin

Does my little dance while screaming

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Let the man recover first! No really, he needs a second to recover and come back to reality. He would be very into bathing right after, he will though enjoy skinship and needs to be given affection from you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Matthias, after the fire burns half of his body, tries not to think about it. Bad enough looks at Louis who looks perfectly undamaged while he is ugly. You have to tell him what you like about him, sit him down, and tell him your favorite parts of him. On you though, he likes your legs. Idk he seems like a legs or thighs guy

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I don't think he's a cum inside guy, he can when lost in the moment, but he rather cum on you so he can wipe it off or cum on the sheets that need to be changed anyway

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I think he would like dollification, listen, something about the control and trust you give that he can appreciate. He could dress you up, put the proper makeup on, tying you to the rope to hold you in place. The process is probably what gets him going before even the play starts, admiring his work.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Virgin, sorry not sorry taking his virginity 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Would say riding or doggy style depending on his mood but also a mating press (i think it hot dbbdbd)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Serious but he might laugh a bit if you are the type to be really happy during sex. It is endearing 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think cuz of the fire he has no hair (though i think he was one a bush not groomed)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Matthias prob is the romantic type but he has no experience in this field so be patient with him. Give him a chance, he is trying.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he has out of curiosity but then just didn't do it again because he couldn't cum and it annoyed him

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dollification but also body worship (giving). But also he probably no idea what kinks are until you lol

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom, he is a private person

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Idk whatever plot i makeup tbh

He would try impact play but the second he hit too hard that was enough for him

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving. He needs to work up to receiving because of his dislike towards his body.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He is a building-up kinda guy but if you catch him on one of his bad days, he can be fast and rough. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

No, and yes, you get the quickies on him. Blowing him because you definitely can have an oral fixation around him

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

He is willing to try anything so long as you respect when he says no 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

One or two rounds, listen HE IS TRYING gotta edge him

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He would like using toys on you only but you could try it on him when he is comfortable with trying to be submissive 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He has to edge you, you outlast him and he needs you to crumble

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Matthias tries to be quiet but is actually very vocal, very flustered when you point it out too

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Matthias is naturally dominant but he is giving. I say naturally because he needs something he can control, something stable that won't force him to change unless he allows it. But he does become open to be the giving submissive, now he is giving you his trust and control over him. It helps to praise him through it too, he needs that reassurance from his partner that he doesn't have to be perfect. Matthias has to be shown he can enjoy himself without worry.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It's good just let him fuck you okay

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I don't think at first he has a high sex drive, it is probably very low. It's about average when you become his partner though

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Out like a light lol but it is the best sleep of his life.

[lunarw0rks]

Can I request a Philip Graves NSFW Alphabet

A/N: On second thought, I don't dislike his character as much as I thought I did... No particular reason, or anything 🫣

Warning(s): explicit content (18+), smut

Word Count: 3k

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GRAVES MASTERLIST // have a request? ⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ ao3 ver.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Not the most delicate, but he tries, and that’s what matters.

Very cocky after sex, but that doesn’t diminish him from making sure his partner is alright (a glass of water, a caress of the reddened marks forming, etc.) Most common with him, some harmless jokes coming from his lips at your expense, all while he’s fixing the stray strands of hair he messed up in the process.

[ ❝ i’m not laughing at you, just couldn’t resist that look on your face, sweetheart ❞ ]

[ ❝ you’re not all shy now, are you? ❞ ]

In terms of actual aftercare, he would keep it short and sweet, handing you clothing items sent flying minutes before. Despite just doing the deed, Graves would turn his back and allow you to redress yourself, no matter how silly the gesture seemed in comparison to what he’d just done to you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself—not a body part, but his cheek scar. He thinks it makes him look super sexy, and definitely shows it off in photos. When he first met his S/O, he was practically crossing his fingers that they would ask about it, so he could heavily embellish its origin.

On a partner—an ass man through and through, no matter his partner's figure. His fingers roam constantly, resting on your hips and sliding downwards until he can cup it. It’s not always sexual, either, sometimes he just somewhere to rest his hands on you.

Just how many times did he ogle it before you two even said a word to one another? An embarrassing amount… And after there’s an established relationship? He doesn’t even try to hide it unless he’s around his coworkers.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It’s no secret, he likes cumming inside the most when he’s allowed.

But even if he is, there’s one place he likes even more—the chest. Whether his partner is fem or masc., he likes when it drips from their cleavage/sternum all the way down to the in between your thighs. It’s like his own personal way of marking his S/O, an he pictures when he needs a quick fantasy.

And there’s definitely a lot of it. Like, a lot. Sometimes, he wonders how there’s any left for the second round.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

(W/ prior consent, duh) Perhaps it’s his southern upbringing, his religious guilt for having such an “impure” fantasy. But a mix of corruption kink + bimbofication is his dirty secret—a partner whos clueless when it comes to sex, but also when he’s flirting with them, batting their lashes and fussing over their appearance. One where he can be their first, one where he has to explain each thing he’s doing, to talk the brainless partner through it, etc… 

[ ❝ I bet you’ve never even touched yourself… ❞ ]

[ ❝ touch yourself, right there… keep going. ❞ ]

[ ❝ you never done this before, hm? Does that feel good? ❞ ]

Even if he does this “roleplay” with a partner that’s not sexually inexperienced, or has a personality completely opposite to the one in the fantasy… if they’re willing to play the role, to let him indulge in it, he’d melt.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He definitely wasn’t always good at it, the man-whore lifestyle grew on him (lmao)

Years in the service, most of his intimacy was hookups, until he advanced through the ranks enough to mature and reserve more time for his romantic life. Though those serious relationships often fell apart, he gained a lot of skills from them—sexually, not with his communication.

By no means, is he a sex God, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know exactly what to do. As clueless as he is when it comes to nuisance or social cues, when intimacy is involved, Graves is surprisingly adaptable.

You didn’t like that, but you loved this? We’ll never do that other thing again, then—that type of attitude.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary—I mean, look at him. But that doesn’t mean it's not a stimulating experience; not at all. His partner’s legs would be as spread and controlled as he wanted them to be. His absolute favorite variation would be one leg up on his shoulder, the other hooked around his waist, that way both parties get the best angle, and he can keep a firm hand on his S/O’s thigh.

Cowgirl (+ reverse)—Adores it, probably would choose it every time if he didn’t enjoy switching things up so much. He has a full view of his S/O, all his favorite parts on display, whether they are facing him or not—and his hands can roam. Fingers dig into thighs, light smacks on their backside, gripping the chin to force a kiss, probably all in a matter of seconds.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Tries so hard to be a hardass, but it doesn’t suit him.

Sure, if there’s some roleplay involved, he can play that serious, dominant part with ease. But, casual intimacy with a partner? There’s a grimace on his face, or he’s chuckling at your reactions to his movements, whispering little lighthearted comments.

Being serious all day long has its downsides, so why not have a little fun… while having the other kind of fun? ;)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very well groomed, but not bald down there.

His hair doesn’t grow very thick, or very rapidly, so it’s relatively simple for him to keep it contained. The hair that is down there is super short, more like a short, blonde stubble.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Quite romantic, when the mood is right. A special day for you two, or a good day in general? He’s especially tender.

But I don’t get the feeling he would take too much time with his S/O… it’s not in his nature. There wouldn’t be candles or music, or rose petals, but his charming words and skilled hands would make up for any lack of showiness.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Probably has a strict routine, to do it every morning or every night, purely to relieve the stresses of his job, as opposed to pleasure. Sometimes, he’ll do it just to get to sleep that night, or when he’s deployed for months at a time and misses his S/O.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Crying kink: most arousing if his S/O wears eye makeup and it's ruined by the time he’s done, running down their cheeks from the tears brimming. Though he wouldn’t do it often, there might be some pain inflicted to induce the tears (w/ prior consent).

Dumbification kink: heavy on this one, because he knows he’s doing something right. Once his partner is unable to form sentences or let out sounds too loud to properly respond to him, it’s a rush to his ego. Though he likes verbal feedback, hell, even a conversation in the middle of sex, them being too deep in their own pleasure to speak is a turn-on for him.

Breath play (receiving): to put it bluntly, he’s too terrified to try this on a partner, for fear of hurting them. But to be choked by his S/O, or the air restricted in some other way, it’s definitely a lowkey turn-on for him. But, somehow he still remains in charge, all while gasping for air.

Breeding kink: quite vocal about this one, and he wants kids someday, so why not? (w/ prior consent) When not involving the whole pregnancy aspect, it’s just a pretty sight to look at for him—the aftermath of it oozing out and down his partner’s thighs.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s quite picky with his locations. Bed or car, those are his two most common places, anywhere else is pretty rare for him. Of course, there would be some sex in his office once in a blue moon, but that’s about as far as he would go. 

Bed—there’s way more opportunity for movement, less strain on each other’s bodies, and it’s somewhere you’re both familiar with. On the plus side, it’s much easier to strip and change the sheets, rather than sanitize an odd location after the deed.

Car—(Just look at him, he has a pickup truck. Don’t fight me on this) It’s purely his own fantasy, fucking his partner in his truck, especially when he’s on the move, or Graves simply couldn’t wait until you made it home. Definitely would keep a hand on your thigh during the drive, or if he was hinting at some car sex, it would slowly tease until you cave.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Visual teasing turns him on the most because he wants the smooth (or dirty 👀) talking to be left to him.

Most commonly, and most unbeknownst to you, when you’re busy with a task while wearing one of his shirts. (filling the dryer, placing a dish in the dishwasher, even just scrolling on your phone while bent over the counter). Even when fully clothed, it gets him, but most of all if you’re only wearing underwear underneath his shirt. Better yet, if you’re wearing nothing at all.

And he doesn’t always act on these motivations, sometimes he can’t because he’s halfway out the door. Other times, he just wants to savor the image as long as possible, to release the pent-up sexual frustration later, when it had all day to simmer.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

There’s a lot he would do for his partner, but anything involving weapons, genuine pain, he won’t do it. If his partner wanted to roleplay, say some dub-con, he would do it just for them.

But full-on non-con, no preparation, no reciprocation, even if it’s just an act? He’s not into it. It’s not just vocal reassurances he needs, it’s physical—his partner touching him, wetness, begging, etc. He won’t be satisfied unless he can physically see them want it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving—an acquired taste for him, because he was once very inexperienced and awkward about it. It was never something that grossed him out or something he refused, but he was more worried about not doing it properly, despite how much his partner might be receptive to it. To make up for it, he always uses his hands at the same time, a sure way to make it pleasurable, just in case his tongue isn’t enough. Once he gets going though, once he learns every little sweet spot, he’s not coming up for air until he thinks the time is right.

Receiving—hear me out; I don’t think he enjoys getting head nearly as much as the average man. Of course, he would indulge himself if his partner was willing, perhaps wanting it every so often, but I feel it’s a rarity for him. When he does, he’s surprisingly gentle, only guiding his partner's head a small amount, and he prefers if the pace is slow and sloppy. He wouldn’t force you to your knees, bruise your throat, or yank your hair, not unless it was a fantasy of yours, of course.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Shockingly, he’s quite rough and fast, despite how unadorned his preferences are. In the act’s entirety, his pace is quick and rough, but not painful. He starts slow, but after being given any look of approval, he goes his usual unrelenting pace, all while his hands remain delicate. If his partner enjoys the fast pace, it’s perfect, and he would go until his body couldn’t.

If not: Once he’s gotten his climax, or he’s satisfied himself, he’s willing to go slower in favor of his partner’s pleasure, and only theirs. In fact, it’s almost immediately after he finishes—he doesn’t remove himself but slows himself to ensure his S/O will be just as satisfied. Slow, but deep thrusts no matter the position, just until they’ve finished.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He has a love/hate dynamic with quickies.

Little “joyrides” where he parks abruptly and has his way? Can’t get enough of it, and it’s merely a recurring fantasy. The same as, a quickie before he leaves for work? Finds it incredibly sexy if his partner stops him just before he’s out the door.

But, when his work is in the way of taking all the time he wants with you? That’s when he yearns for more time with his S/O, to get things done properly.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not often, unless you were really adamant about trying something new or risky. He’s pretty set in his ways, and he already knows what he likes.

[ ❝ you would like that, wouldn’t you? I’ll remember that… ❞ ]

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

A few rounds, give or take. 

He’s at his peak stamina when it’s been a while since you two had sex.

Besides, he’ll say he’s ❝ pacing himself ❞ when in actuality, he wants to make his partner need him, especially if they get desperate enough to outright ask for more. It’s a boost to his ego, it’s arousing, and you’ve affirmed his skills, all in one.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

During sex, he probably wouldn’t use them on his partner, unless they really, truly wanted him to. What better, than making them finish with only parts of his body? But if you want to add a toy to the mix, he’s not going to stop you, either.

Graves would be pretty clueless when it comes to toys, having never used one on himself or a partner. He’d be especially shocked if his S/O had their own already, but it’s not a threat—it’s a turn-on, for him to think about, how they satisfy themselves when it’s not him doing it. Deep down, he wants you to send him pictures using them, or suggestive messages when he’s away for months at a time.

To put it simply—he would rather visualize you using them solo, as opposed to him doing it to you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Outside of sex, as an act of foreplay or verbal teasing? He could do it all day; snide remarks to get his S/O needy touches that only last seconds, a suggestive noise/phrase coming out of his mouth like it's nothing.

[ ❝ Fuck… ❞ ] he practically moans it, waiting for the moan to draw you in, then: [ ❝ …this dinner is amazing ❞ ]

But as soon as you’re undressed in front of him? He wouldn’t be able to stand his own teasing for long, because all he wants is to get down to business. He would rather hear his partner finish, than whine when deprived of it, if that makes sense.

To be frank, he’s probably needier than any of his partners, always wanting to be bottomed out and making them feel the same pleasure he is.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Doesn’t look like it, but he’s quite vocal. Often similar to the intro of this video (Not p^rn, just a tiktok edit, I promise).

It’s constant talking, sometimes praise, other times he’s having a conversation with you in between his grunts. When he’s close, they become more drawn out and low, though his pace is only quickening.

[ ❝ almost there, sweetheart. Then I’ll do it again, just for you. ❞ ]

[ ❝ so sexy… and just for me. ❞ ]

[ ❝ love hearing you enjoy yourself like this, honey. ❞ ]

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

This might be a strange one, but bear with me.

He secretly loves being on medical-leave, stuck at home and laid up, (not seriously injured), because he loves being fussed over deep down. Who doesn’t love soup brought to your bedside, extra cuddles at night… and a few favors ;) to ❝ ease his pain ❞

Plus, he doesn’t have to worry about getting up early and leaving you the next day, so your  favor  could go on for quite awhile…

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Body type: He’s lean and toned, but heavily defined. Relatively hairless on his chest, and back, even his happy trail isn’t very noticeable. Graves doesn’t look like someone with that much muscular definition, until he flexes or exerts himself.

In the pants: Above average in size, but not overly girthy, and it naturally curves upward very slightly. 2.5” IN girth, 4” IN when soft—6.8” IN when hard.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Quite high when he’s around his partner because they’re there to reciprocate it. But, surprisingly low when he’s away. He’s truly too stressed and exhausted to be thinking about sex, only does when he gets morning wood or has to relieve some of that tension by himself.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Doesn’t sleep much as it is, and he seems like the type to not sleep after sex.

The pillow talk continues, even if his partner’s eyes have drooped shut and they’re not listening to a word he’s saying. Head on his chest, or vice versa, talking about how good it was or probably telling some funny story about when he got stranded in the desert.

[ ❝ you’re better than I deserve, lettin’ me do that to you. ❞ ]

Sometimes, he’ll go back to his paperwork mere minutes after, a small apology escaping his lips when he does so. [ ❝ sorry, darlin’ ❞ ] or if the act was cut short, he’s not opposed to keeping one of his unoccupied hands on you (take that how you want).

[nctstar]

idk if u write for tbz but if u do can i request haechan and sunwoo smut pls! if not gamer! hyuck and renjun would b great ILYYY

hi! this is so late I'm sorry :( I don't write for tbz! but definitely for nct. I tried my best with the gamer aspects but I am not a gamer so...ANYWAY I tried my best, what can I sayyy :D hope you like ily too <3

do i seem familiar?

The softness of his lips erupted on your mouth, shutting your eyes, letting him taste you. He slipped his tongue inside, and you gasped. Pulling away, you wanted to whine, beg, anything to taste him again. He brought one hand to your face, stroking the side of your jaw. “What’s your name?”

“_.” Your brain was yelling at you to stop, but you couldn’t help yourself. You leant it, letting your lips passively feel his. “It’s _.”

“Good girl.” That alone would have made your knees fall apart, but you stiffened, sighing gently. “I want to know what name I need to be moaning tonight.”

pairing: hyuckren x fem!reader (no hyuckren ship)

other members: none

word count: 5k

genre: SMUT bro what can i say

warnings: sexual content so minors please dni!! reader is a streamer/cam girl, reader and hyuckren speak in korean and english throughout and sometimes don't understand each other but everything is consensual! mention of breasts multiple times, threesome, breastplay, use of whore and slut, profanity, degradation (not too crazy), dom!hyuckren, bit of thigh slapping, fingering, squirting, being held down + manhandled, begging. oral (male receiving), praise kink, intense orgasms, double penetration, rough sex, crying during and after sex, tiny bit of overstimulation (not really), finishing inside, kissing, alluding to aftercare at the end (very important!)

disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my (filthy) imagination. I don't know the nct members and don't claim that they act like this in real life. I also do not condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic. 

a/n: lowkey i think all my smuts are a little bit similar to each other haha. ALSOO the italics in quotations are things said in korean, and non-italics is english, hope that's not confusing.

y_3to3: you look so pretty today baby <3

A flood of messages inundated your screen, aggressively drowning out the simplicity of the one that had caught your eye. Much like a passing quiet comment as you walked down the street, or even less – a whisper of a thought, someone who knew too much, or not at all, the thought begging to be heard.

Your face felt hot under the mask, your eyes threatening to water at the light radiating off your many monitors. The red dot blinked, one, two, matching your heartbeat. Camera on.

“Thank you!” You responded as you fixed your top, a skimpy strappy corset top, your chest bursting at the seams as the old push-up bra did its work. You were suddenly nervous, as if he could really see you. Past all the screens, the messages flooding into your inbox, the red, blinking light.

You wondered what the other men would think knowing you and y_3to3 had met. Would they cry? Wail? Beg on their hands and knees in front of you – in front of him? Would they get aggressive? You hadn’t really thought of that. His handsome demeanour, your soft skin, the way your body just melted under the heat of his body…it was not something you could resist by thinking logically.

“No game today, guys. It’s Halloween! I thought we could just chat for a while!” You fought the urge to itch the strap underneath your right armpit, becoming more and more aware of how uncomfortable the bra was. Smiling through it all, you continued. “Uh, can anyone guess who I am?”

The messages didn’t stop coming, but nobody was answering.

You coughed awkwardly, readjusting yourself in your chair, sneaking glances in the mirror behind your camera to check what you were showing off. Damn, you thought, seeing your boobs pushed together, the pouty pink lips and the doe eyes staring back at you, I look like a whore.

New member. The notification caught your eye. No one had really added themselves mid-stream in a while now, not anybody new, at least.

“Hey, welcome!” Your voice came out hesitant, the same paranoia that always overtook you filling your senses. What if it was your mom, or your boss?

You gulped, but there was a message waiting for you within seconds.

해찬: 마스크걸?

Shit. You didn’t know how to read Korean, only learning how to speak bits and pieces here and there.

“Uh…” You were nervous, not wanting to make a fool of yourself, but also having this sudden urge to accommodate the stranger that had dominated all of a sudden. “My Korean is not great. And I can’t read. But, thank you.” You cringed at the sound of your own voice, and almost wanted to end the stream right then and there. But then, they replied.

해찬: you speak very good.

A weird warmth spread your stomach, and you couldn’t help yourself. “Thank you, uh, I’m not sure…oh gosh, I guess I have to Google Translate your username! That’s embarrassing.”

해찬: my name is hae-chan.

“Oh, n-nice, nice to meet you.” His forwardness took you off guard, mainly being used to men who had never spoken to a woman in real life joining your chat, timidly hiding in the shadows until they got a glimpse of cleavage and couldn’t hold it in anymore. You gave a small smile, one that would please everyone, but also hide something extra for the people you liked and wanted.

y_3to3: he said you’re mask girl. it’s pretty obvious.

y_3to3: you don’t need google translate. i can do it for you. and more. if you want.

Your heart pounded, suddenly quietened by this virtual conversation. Your eyes read the letters over and over again, until the texts rose on the screen.

해찬: yeah, so can i. i just thought she could read korean. my bad.

Your head swam, not knowing how to process all this. One had itched to turn your camera off, suddenly feeling really vulnerable and exposed. That blinking red light kept relenting in the background.

You clapped your hands together. “Guys, it’s kinda getting late! You guys need your sleep, and so does your Mask Girl!” You ignored the men who moaned and groaned at it being only 11pm, and how you didn’t even dance for them tonight, or spill water down your shirt. “Until next time, okay? Stay safe, everyone!” Your voice felt too perky, like it was out of a Black Mirror episode, unsettling and uncanny.

The red, blinking light went off, and you sighed. A million thoughts entered your brain, but they were all immersed in the fog of tiredness that took over your body. Legs moving at their own accord, you stumbled over to your bed, ripping the mask off in the process. As your stomach pushed up on the already too-tight top, you felt breathless as you lay at the foot off your bed, but you closed your eyes, listening to your muscles screaming for rest. “Renjun, his name was Renjun, I think…” You whispered, feeling a little crazy, a little like a witch or a little girl trying to manifest the attention of their crush they looked at for 2 seconds. He hadn’t taken his mask off, but you had felt him anyways. Inches sheathed inside you, thrusting in time with your moans. “Fuck.” How could you want someone that bad? Is this what those lonely men in your dms felt like?

Nevertheless, the memory of the smell of expensive cologne, hands roaming limitlessly on your uncovered body, dragon-like eyes watching you as you fell apart – all of it let you dream restlessly, your body twisted uncomfortably on your bed, your computer droning in the background and the makeup remaining untouched on your face, skincare be damned.

∞

You hadn’t seen his face before today, and you kind of hated yourself for agreeing to meet him again. He was mask-less, and you quickly realised he had a face sculpted by divine forces themselves, sharp, meticulous, perfect. Enough to ruin your life in a heartbeat.

“Hi.”

“Hi. Renjun? I-I’m sorry if I’m not pronouncing that right.”

He nodded silently, and you fought the urge to hold your breath, his skin shone even under the crappy lighting of the PC bang. An awkward silence ensued as your brain scrambled for the right words, not only to say but the ones that would be grammatically correct in Korean. “Thanks for inviting me here. Should we find a place now?”

“Are you hungry?” His eyes searched yours, and you felt the pull you had that night at that hotel room, last night as you read the message, he had boldly hit send on for the world to see.

“No.” You shook your head, trying not to smile in an off-putting way. You prayed he hadn’t noticed the pimple on your face, and your anxiety made sure you were thinking about the fact that you had done your makeup differently every second since you had left the house. It looks good. On camera. Not in person. You kinda look like a slut. But in a good way? Too much blush. Should have worn lashes. Should have worn makeup like the day he felt compelled to take you to a hotel and f-

“I brought my friend. Do you mind?” He looked nervous now, or maybe he was nervous the whole time? You weren’t sure. As you thought of other things, you didn’t process the fact that he had asked you a question.

“Is this her?” You could have sworn you had heard a voice, but Renjun didn’t react to it, and you wondered if it was another voice in your head. “That’s okay, right? Or if you don’t want him here-“

“Him?” Another person was definitely a little unexpected. But you swallowed the little shock you had and tried to reply normally. It’s not that bad. It won’t be awkward. At least he didn’t say she – HAH!

“No, I mean, that’s okay!” Your voice was started to travel upwards to an obnoxiously high pitch, and you willed it down again. “Is he here?”

“Renjun-ah, I already found a place for the two of us. You didn’t tell me she was-oh.” The unidentified voice stopped as soon as the man stood in your line of sight. The first thing you did was use all of your willpower to prevent your jaw muscles slackening and letting your mouth drop wide open.

Holy fuck. He is so hot.

“Donghyuck.” He nodded so slightly it could have easily been missed. Your brain on overdrive at the sight of two of the hottest men you had ever encountered in front of you made you momentarily mute, and it was like Donghyuck picked up on that. Smirking, he looked down, muttering cute.

Oh my god, what is happening right now…

“This is my friend…maybe we better sit down somewhere else?” You nodded, forcing yourself to hum in response so it didn’t seem like you had gone brainless suddenly. You tried to contribute to the visual search, looking around, but your ears heated up at the realisation that Donghyuck was staring you up and down. His black rimmed eyes, whether from makeup or lack of sleep, danced across your body before resting on your facial features, making your stomach start doing backflips. You pointed at an empty row, desperate now to sit down. “There. That works, right?”

“Sure.” The English rolled off Donghyuck’s tongue in a way that indicated it wasn’t his first language, but he was oozing with confidence regardless. You finally met his gaze, fire erupting in your throat as he smirked directly at you.

Minutes later, for some reason, you were seated in the middle of them – Renjun on your right, Donghyuck on your left. The nerves were being pushed aside with a sort of familiar comfort as the game, one you had played multiple times on stream, one you were famously good at, started up. Colours flickered across your shiny eyes as you stared, unblinking.

When you started playing, you might as well have forgotten about the last twenty minutes of your life. Your fingers sprung across the keys, words erupting out of your mouth without permission. At one point, Donghyuck’s character and yours fought for an entire five minutes, both of you getting so close to finishing before swapping over, going at it repeatedly (that’s what she said). At the last minute, you prevailed. You heard him curse loudly as the character fell to the ground, red blinking letters taunting him, filling his screen. “Oh, she’s good.”

“Mmm, she is.” The emotions that had raced through your body moments ago was fighting this newfound adrenaline in your system, and you wondered what to say next. What to do next. Your hands were getting clammy, cold. Your right leg bounced on the seat.

“Again?” You turned to Donghyuck, unaware of the confidence that was taking over. He glanced at you before returning to his screen, rebooting the game. You were getting ready to turn back around, face your screen, when he said,

“Were you mask girl on camera last night?”

It’s like you could feel Renjun’s eyes widen. You were shocked, hairs rising on end. The anonymity that came with your job shattered with dangerous intent, and you tried to shake your head, to deny it. You were never a great liar.

“We hooked up once, Donghyuck. It’s not what you think.” The words pierced you, and you were frozen in place, like someone just superglued you to your seat.

“That’s not what I was saying- Look. Renjun told me what you do. And, you kinda remind me of the girl I saw last night.”

So any girl with tits is a cam girl to you? You wanted to say, but the language barrier and the decency that comes with being in a public place stopped you. And what if I am? Why are you asking me this?

“Why are you saying stuff like this?”

“No, I-“

“Donghyuck.” Renjun’s voice came as a warning, but that was when you noticed Donghyuck’s name on the screen, unapologetically butting into the conversation.

해찬

“Oh my god.” Both men appeared concerned, stopping their bickering. You felt one hand rest on your thigh gently, tentatively. “Sorry, are you-“

“You’re Haechan?” You turned to Donghyuck, and he nodded carefully, dark eyes locked into yours, blank, unassuming. Your stomach swirled with the remnants of the thin instant coffee you had swallowed minutes ago, Renjun’s hand on your thigh stilling your bouncing leg. “I just, well, I didn’t expect-“

“It was, um, accident. I’m not like other men.” You fought the urge to snicker at his endearing broken English, sounding completely like an incel but not intending too. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I was just curious. And Renjun told me he had met a cam girl, and, well, it kind of just made sense in the moment.”

You nodded, not sure how to react. You watched as Donghyuck’s hands flew as he spoke, his lips curled in, almost pouting, his features turning almost cartoonishly apologetic. It was so adorable, a stark contrast to the intensity of his eyes, the sharp edges of the hair that grazed his eyebrows.

Renjun sighed loudly, and you felt the warmth leave the middle of your thigh as he removed his hand from your body. He cursed silently, rubbing at his temples. “Sorry if this made you uncomfortable.”

“N-no, no,” You tried to be reassuring, but your voice shook, not for the reasons they had thought originally though. Here you were, your secrets out, quite literally in the middle of two men you had met in person that you weren’t sure if they were thinking the same thing as you – you needed them so bad – the hypersexual nature of your side hustle now glaringly obvious, threatening to break the taboos of a normal interaction. You shuffled in your seat, right leg itching to rest over your left. “It’s okay, um. You guys seem nice enough. Shall we get something to eat after this?”

One thing had led to another. One instance of Donghyuck swiping his card before you could even flick yours out. Let me. Renjun picking up a dessert you had said you liked in your streams maybe once. Them gesturing at your nose, realising the whipped cream had rubbed off. You licking your fingers with satisfaction underneath the white flickering lights of the convenience store. Tastes so good, wow. Donghyuck’s fingers grazing your hips as he pushed past you to open the door for you and Renjun. You pretending not to notice that Renjun was staring at your top, hoodie off to expose the crop you usually only wear at home, feeling embarrassed that there was a stain on the right arm. Wondering if he thought you were unkempt, unorganised. Wondering if that was a turn off…

“Wow, nice building.” Donghyuck’s hair shone as you looked back at him, your Hello Kitty bag slung over one of his forearms. You pressed your lips together, feeling a little vulnerable, maybe even a little scared. “Yeah, I get good money from, well. Maybe I should just quit my job!” Renjun laughed, but Donghyuck was silent, perhaps from not understanding, perhaps thinking about something else. You weren’t sure.

“Um, I don’t really have a dining room,” Your voice trailed off as you looked at the mess in your little kitchenette, the lack of a sofa or coffee table imminent in the blankness of the room. “Been kind of busy, didn’t really have time to…” You were more or less lying, more or less talking to yourself, forgetting that English was probably not the best language to explain things in right now. You nodded at no one in particular, before pointing at your bedroom door. “Should we…?”

Renjun had laughed audibly when stepping into your room, Donghyuck muttering cute once again but just a bit louder this time. You chuckled weakly, but your face started to burn, embarrassment leaking into your veins like a potent poison. The plushies and Sanrio merch made you feel more exposed than ever, and your eyes widened when you noticed your favourite orange dildo resting on the bed, as shameless as a naked lover waiting for you after a long day at work. “Uh, okay, um,” You began to babble, trying to quickly shove away the apparatus and praying it would grow legs and run away while they weren’t looking. “You can sit here.”

You bounced on the bed as the two men perched themselves next to you, you in the middle again. The plastic bags filled with random knick-knacks Donghyuck had swore you wanted crinkled as he bent over, tying a knot at the top. “You alright? You seem…nervous.” His nonchalant concern made you want to melt, want to lean over and start making out with him. What did you want, really? Why did you invite them here?

“Are you waiting for something?” Renjun’s breath tickled your ear, surprising you. You turned to face him. His scent the same as that night. Leaning over, his eyes darted back and forth from your lips to your eyes.

The softness of his lips erupted on your mouth, shutting your eyes, letting him taste you. He slipped his tongue inside, and you gasped. Pulling away, you wanted to whine, beg, anything to taste him again. He brought one hand to your face, stroking the side of your jaw. “What’s your name?”

“_.” Your brain was yelling at you to stop, but you couldn’t help yourself. You leant it, letting your lips passively feel his. “It’s _.”

“Good girl.” That alone would have made your knees fall apart, but you stiffened, sighing gently. “I want to know what name I need to be moaning tonight.”

As if on cue, you felt one arm wrap around your middle, knee nudging your legs apart. You tried to whip your head around, but Renjun stopped you, pressing down on your forehead so your head rested on the back on Donghyuck’s upper shoulders. You whimpered. “Donghyuck…”

“Shh, it’s okay. I got you.” You both adjusted so you were perched on his lap now, staring at Renjun, eyes wide in anticipation. You felt Donghyuck’s hard-on press into the ridge of your lower back. Stifling a moan, you tried to slip up and down his lap, but felt a hard slap on your thigh when you did, your actions failing to go unnoticed.

“Whore.” You whimpered, feeling Donghyuck nibble on your ear, relentlessly but also with a slight care, as if tending to an animal at flight risk. “Take your top off, if you want this.”

If you want this. His words swam in your ears, and both men paused, waiting for you to act. The tension in the air was thick, but also, you realised, fragile, like a bubble of lust that would pop with the right words, if you didn’t consent. They would definitely leave. They would never mention it again.

But you shrugged off Donghyuck’s arms around you, almost drooling at the veins, the muscles that bulged even as he let go. You pulled your top off, one hand behind your back to unclip your bra. You could feel the surprise, the shock, before Renjun latched onto one of your nipples, your back arching and Donghyuck pulling you flush against him again. “O-oh…”

“You think you can cum just like this? Filthy girl.” You weren’t really sure what exactly he was talking about, but you understood cum and whore, and you shook your head. “Want more, pl-, ah, Renjun-ah!” He started leaving love bites down the middle of your chest, another hand flicking your other nipple. You squirmed. “Please, please…”

“Showing off her rack to any man who wants it, Donghyuck-ah, did you know?” You did understand that, and your eyes watered at the humiliation, simultaneously feeling yourself get wetter as you did. “Fuck, I bet she gets off on it.”

You shook your head, but you were moaning too, which didn’t really help your case. “Please, wanna cum, please, no more-“ You tried pushing Renjun’s head off you, to which he obliged, silencing you with a kiss instead. “Tell us what you want. Come on. Otherwise I’ll leave. We’ll leave.” Donghyuck wiped your tears with his free hand, making you suddenly melt deeper into his body, into his strong arms. You breathed in deeply, your bare chest rising and falling. “Mmm, I want, um, I want your fingers, please.”

“Like this?” Renjun buried one hand inside your pants, and you took it as a sign to lose them, the both of you awkwardly shaking them off. He pulled your panties down just enough before pressing his index finger onto your clit, swirling around, making your thighs tremble. “More, please, i-inside!” Your voice rose as he inserted one inside you without warning, your fluids now gushing out, exposing you. You felt Donghyuck move his head over your shoulder, to watch you, you thought. The thought was enough to feed the humiliation even more, not even registering Donghyuck slapping at your thigh repeatedly as you watched your hole constrict around Renjun’s fingers. Moaning, you tried to move your leg away, panties now sliding off your calves and onto the floor. Donghyuck tutted, wrapping his arm underneath your thigh to push it closer to your chest. “Rest your leg on his shoulder for me. Quickly.” You complied, submission clouding your senses. The new angle allowed Renjun fingers to travel deeper, curling near that spongy part that always made you reach your climax when you pressed your dildo against it. The warmth and spontaneity of real fingers was making you shake uncontrollably, tears springing to your eyes. “Oh, haah, fuck! Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum!” You sobbed, whining and trying to scramble away as Donghyuck pressed your thigh to your chest tighter, groaning in your ear as he watched you squirt all over Renjun’s fingers, damp spots sprouting on his pants as you did.

Your eyes were ringing, spots clouding your vision. You babbled incoherently, trying to catch your breath. Renjun pressed a kiss to your forehead, then to your nose. “You okay?”

“Mmm.” you managed to make out, wiping your tears. “Wow, that was…really good.”

“Open.” Renjun pressed his fingers to your lips, allowing you to suck the ends, tasting yourself. Donghyuck’s chest vibrated as he hummed in satisfaction. “Fuck, you think you can suck me like that, baby?”

You nodded, pathetically, like a bimbo, holding your boobs as you scrambled towards the floor. You heard Renjun groan and unzip his pants as your knees scraped the carpet, and you flipped your hair over one shoulder, hands pulling at the waistband of Donghyuck’s pants. He leant back, spreading his knees further apart so you could inch closer to him, one hand sneaking up and feeling the ridges on his stomach. “Eager slut.”

The bulb sprung out, meeting your lips, and you teased his slit carefully, batting your eyes up at him in a way you thought he would like. He raised one eyebrow, but you could tell he was flustered from the way his ears burned red. “You can tease me, but don’t cry later when I do the same to you.” You giggled, wrapping both hands around his thick length. Wondering how it would feel nestled all the way inside you, whether you would be able to feel it in your stomach.

As soon as you opened your mouth, planning to suck the tip first, salty precum already pre-erupting in your mouth, you felt something hard press against your now exposed, soaking core. On instinct, you tried to straighten up through your back, but Donghyuck gripped the back of your head instantly, keeping your face close to his leaking cock. “No. You stay here.”

“Renjun-ah…” A sharp inhale as you felt him push inside, warm and so tight, the inside of your thighs now completely wet. You began to moan, mouth open, letting Donghyuck push you on his cock, shutting you up immediately.

Renjun groaned, throat constricting with every word he spoke. “Take me so well every time. Fuck. So good.” Your moans disappearing, morphing into lewd choking noises as Donghyuck held you in place. Your eyes pleaded with him, and he released you, sending you flying backwards, coughing up a mix of saliva and his precum. He gripped your chin, watching your glossy eyes stare back at him. “Don’t do anything. Don’t even think, baby. This is what you need.” You could only moan in response as Renjun gripped your hips, body flopping down as he began to thrust into you faster and faster. The way your walls constricted around him was orgasmic, nails scratching at the carpet as if it would help you anchor your body. “Fuck, yes, oh my god…” Your moans turned into cries, and you felt your impending climax overpower your body. “Please, nggh, so much…” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, feeling yourself lose control over your body.

Renjun pulled your hair so you were forced to look up. You squealed, chanting his name like a mantra. “Should I fill you up, baby?” You could only cry in response, core twitching without permission. Donghyuck brought his cock to your mouth again, cock prying your mouth open as you let your jaw slacken. Fully hard now, you gagged noisily. Renjun whispered praises in your ear as Donghyuck thrusted into your mouth, tears streaming down your face at the impact. “Good girl. Go ahead, cum for me. Cum for us.” You felt yourself fall apart, muscles paralysing as you came. Not long after, Donghyuck shot ropes of cum down your throat, swearing as he did. “You gonna swallow, baby?” No energy to nod, you brought one hand to stroke the back of his thigh, knees now sore against the rough carpet. As Renjun pulled out, you squeezed your thighs together, not letting anything leak onto the carpet. Donghyuck helped you up once you released him, carrying you bridal style to the bed, lips meeting yours once your back hit the mattress. “H-Hyuckie…”

“Oh fuck, baby. That’s such a pretty nickname. You wanna keep calling me that?” His eyes were roaming down your now naked body, your lower stomach glistening with fluids. He separated your folds with his fingers as you snapped your legs against his hand. He laughed as you shook your head desperately. “Fuck, wait, I’m sensitive! Wait a second…” Chest heaving, you watched as Renjun walked over to the bed, the outlines of his body now blurry from the tears and post-orgasmic bliss. “How are you guys hard again?”

Donghyuck responded by noisily kissing down your body. Unlike Renjun, he was sloppier, softer, more desperate. You craned your neck to watch him, feeling like you were having an out of body experience. Post two intense orgasms, every nerve in your body felt like it was singed at the ends. Yet, you wanted more. Your hips bucked up involuntarily, making you blush. Renjun pressed his thumb on your bottom lip, signalling for you to open your mouth. “You wanna taste my cock too?”

“Yeah…yes, please, I think…” Renjun laughed this time, stroking his length to its full hardness before pressing the head against your lips. At the same time, Donghyuck tapped your inner thighs, and, like a secret reflex, you let your knees relax apart, hips opening. You felt something unmistakably heavy rest on your exposed pussy, and you looked down to see Donghyuck’s rubbing himself up and down your folds. “Hnghh, Hyuck, oh, will it f-fit?” He looked at you with confusion, suddenly realising you had changed languages. Before you could answer, Renjun grabbed your chin and pushed his hips, letting his cock slip past your lips and fill your mouth. “Shhh. It’ll fit. Don’t you worry.”

“Fuck, noisy girl.” Your moans were vibrating around Renjun’s cock, making him thrust sloppily and deeply, one hand holding your head in place. You closed your eyes, feeling yourself getting filled to the brim, a feeling your tiny dildo could never come close to giving you. “Renjun-ah, she’s gripping me so tight. Fuck. We found ourselves a perfect little whore.” Talking about you as if you weren’t even there, mouth occupied, unable to speak, added to the humiliation tenfold and embarrassingly made you hornier than ever. As Donghyuck sped up his thrusts, the sounds of messy sex filled the room, riling up Renjun even more. Drool ran as far down to your breasts as he thrusted, one of your hands now gripping your boob for support. “You want me to cum all over those pretty tits? Hmm?” You nodded as much as you could with the little space you had, the visual of that almost sending you over the edge.

Donghyuck pressed one finger to your clit, making you slap Renjun’s knee so hard he pulled off with a surprised groan. “Fuck! Oh fuck, please, please…” You didn’t know what you were begging for, but Donghyuck pulled out, manhandling you as he pleased. Bending your hips, he pressed your thighs to your chest, pushing his entire length in as both your legs resting over one of his shoulders. This new position took your breath away, your mouth falling apart into a pornographic ‘O’ shape. Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrowed, and you felt him release inside you. Thumbing your clit, your hips jerked off the bed and you cried. “Oh my god! P-please, ah, I’m gonna, oh fuck!”

“That’s it, my baby. Soak the sheets for me.” With one final cry, you squirted the hardest you had ever done before, clit throbbing as you came down from your high. You felt Renjun gently move one arm away from your chest before cumming himself all over your breasts as promised, pleasured moans and stutters of your real name escaping him as he did.

My baby. You pulled Donghyuck near you, crying in his shoulder as he rubbed your back gently, bare skin against skin. “Shhh, you’re okay. It’s okay.” You felt Renjun pull your hand to his lips, kissing the back of your hand gently as you breathed deeply. “Good girl. You did so well. So perfect for us.”

[roses-r-rosie3]

Dancing With Your Ghost: Unexpected Reunion

Miguel O’Hara x M!Reader

[Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

(Btw credits to whoever drew that spider-man character)

Warnings: angst, spoilers for SpiderMan: Across the Spider-verse, and memory loss-ish

Summary: Miguel was in love with his version of y/n from his universe but that y/n dies bc that’s his cannon, and he meets an alternate version of y/n who is the Spider-Man of his universe, but isn’t in love with Miguel

Quote: “I'm sorry, but you're not ringing any bells"

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Miguel is what some people what call “cold hearted” but he wasn’t always like this. He was happy once. He was in love with y/n l/n. He loved y/n so much. But because he was a Spider-Man, y/n died. He died when that universes’s goblin blew up a building, while y/n was inside of it. It hurts Miguel to think about it. The way he held y/n in his arms while he begged for y/n to stay with him. But Miguel couldn’t undo the inevitable, and y/n died in his arms while he cried for hours.

"Miguel" Jess said, snapping Miguel out of his thoughts.

"Are you okay?" she said.

"Yeah, yeah, just a little tired, what did you want to talk to me about?" Miguel said.

"I found a case where an alternate version of the goblin from another universe got transported to another universe, and is now having a tantrum"

Miguel's blood ran cold at the mention of 'The goblin', the bastard took one of the only people making him happy away from him.

"I know you have some issues with the goblin, but you need to remember that he isn't our goblin-"

"Yeah, whatever let's go" Miguel said, completely ignoring what Jess had to say.

skip to when Miguel is fighting the goblin b/c i'm lazy af

Miguel spent what felt like hours trying to land a single punch on the goblin, each attempt getting him more riled up. All of a sudden another spider-man swooped in and kicked the goblin in the face dead-on.

"I'll take it from here" The masked hero said cockily.

That voice... it sounded familiar, but Miguel couldn't quite put his finger on it. But Miguel had no time to play the guessing game, so he immediately swung over to help fight the goblin.

When Miguel finally caught up to the other spider-man, the goblin had already been defeated.

"How-"

"it's easy when you're as good as me" said the cocky super-hero, as he cut off Miguel.

"Oh great another narcissistic one" Miguel said as he rolled his eye under his mask.

"I wouldn't call it narcissistic, more like- wait- what do you mean another- oh whatever, who are you and what are you doing here" said that universe's spider-man.

skip to Miguel explaining the whole spider organization

"Does you telling me this mean that I'm apart of this organization now, or are you gonna pull a 'men in black' and erase this from my memory?"

"Yes, you can join" Miguel said in annoyance as he opened the portal.

"Holy shit, very cool.." The masked hero said before walking inside of it.

"Hey, scary boss guy, can i take off my mask, that portal thing is making me feel sick" said the hero.

"Yes" Miguel said as he turned to see what the cocky hero looked like under his mask.

When the spider-man unmasked himself, he was revealed to be y/n.

Miguel couldn't speak, his once dead lover was in front of him.

"Oh I didn't tell you my name did I? My name's-"

"Y/n" Miguel cut him off.

"How did you-"

Y/n was cut off by Miguel hugging the life out of him.

"I missed you so much" Miguel croaked.

"Woah, woah dude I don't even know you" y/n said pulling Miguel away.

Miguel took off his mask, hoping that universe's y/n would notice him.

"I'm sorry, but you're not ringing any bells" y/n said.

"Y/n please, we have to at least been acquainted in your universe" Miguel said with tears in his eyes.

"Uh- you're starting to creep me out" y/n said

"Oh, uh, sorry about him, you just look like someone he used to know" Jess interrupted

"Okay then..." y/n said as he walked past them to explore the place.

"Listen Miguel, I know you loved y/n and he loved you, but that's a different y/n, I don't want to sound harsh, but he probably didn't know you until now, okay? Just know that our y/n loved you." Jess said as the other y/n was out of eye-sight.

Miguel just broke down. The fact that, that y/n will probably never love him like his y/n, He felt like he was re-living the grief he felt when y/n died in his arms.

[yasssgiveusnothing]

Radiohusk Analysis: Husk Cares or Nothing Makes Sense (Part 2)

Husk cares about Alastor. It makes no narrative sense otherwise.

Let's talk about it!

Husk goes out of his way to help Alastor when it would be in his best interest to not care AT ALL about that man:

Husk goes to Al to warn him of Mimzy and ARGUE with him for Al's benefit.

Husk gets frustrated when Al doesn't heed his warning and thinks Al will get hurt.

These screenshots are from season 1 episode 5.

Here's the scene:

Let's delve deeper into it!

Narratively, that whole scene serves three purposes:

1. To tell the viewer Al is also on someone's leash.

2. To tell the viewer Husk worries and cares about Alastor.

We are shown Husk going out of his way to help Al, only for Al to tell Husk that he does not need to worry because Al has everything under control. We then see Al was correct as he jovialy kills and consumes his enemies without effort. In other words, what the viewer learns from this scene is that Husk needlessly worries about Alastor's well-being.

3) To draw parallels between Angel & Valentino and Husk & Al.

You might be thinking, Exactly! If Husk and Al are just lke Angel and Val, why would Husk care for Al or vice versa?!

Vivzie has been pushing this narrative that Al and Husk are parallels for Angel and Val this entire season. I don't think there are enough words to describe how this parallel doesn't work, but I'll try anyway.

A) Angel does not care for Val's well being.

Angel would not go out of his way to help Val like Husk helps Alastor.

B) Val does not care for Angel's well-being.

Val doesn't need to bribe his soul contracts to work with him.

Val straight up gives Angel no free will. (Unlike Al who does not force Husk to attend the bar, instead chosing to bribe him).

If Angel gives the slightest of attitude, Val does not hesitate to get physical immediately. (Unlike Alastor, who not only lets Husk shove a finger into his chest, but let's him speak his mind and does not immediately maim him for disrespecting him.)

C) Husk is not afraid of Al.

A man scared of Al would not argue with him or his benefit, nor go up to him and jab a finger in his chest. And yes, Husk was scared of Al when Al threatened him, but Husk fucking started it! He literally made a jab at the guy where it would hurt! If you made a jab at your pal and they start foaming at the mouth, you'd be scared too, but also know you lowkey deserved it and shouldn't be surprised it happened. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Al and Husk sit together without Husk shitting himself. Could you possibly imagine Angel sitting next to Val without wanting to disappear through the floor? Nope!

D) Al trusts Husk. Refer to my previous theory for more information.

E) Al does not regularly assault or overwork Husk.

Husk chills at the bar all day with access to infinite alcohol. This is the closest Husk will ever get to Heaven.

Alastor has not assaulted Husk ever. Unless we're calling the time Alastor pulls on Husk's chain and makes him fall to the floor an assault. Which, sure, fine. But that ONE push that left NO INJURIES was the only time Al has ever gotten aggressively handsy with Husk. And funnily enough, Husk was the first one to put hands on the other.

This 'assault' in comparison to the treatment Angel gets from Val pales CONSIDERABLY. In fact, the two duos are NOTHING ALIKE beyond there being a Overlord owns your soul dynamic, but with Radiohusk, that dynamic barely takes place as Alastor treats him more like a trusted pal than an object to be abused.

I also want to quickly go over how I feel Husk is out of character for the second half of this scene.

Husk is perceptive. He understands other people extremely well, which has been shown numerous times throughout the show as he reads the entire main cast and Mimzy. He is also a gambler, which means he knows when to bet and when to fold.

So you expect me to believe that Husk would say THAT to Alastor and expect him to take it well, especially when Husk knows it is a sensitive subject to him?

And Alastor's reaction is kinda valid. I mean, someone who you trusted with this information weaponizes it against you by spitting it back in your face! If Angel can have a meltdown over being someone's bitch, why can't Alastor? I mean, Angel throws a broken glass bottle at Husk's head, but Alastor pushes Husk and suddenly Al is as bad as Valentino?

With this, I conclude thtat:

Husk cares about Alastor

Alastor cares about Husk

Angel & Valentino's relationship does not parallel Alastor & Husk's.

Husk was out of character during the second half of that scene and was possibly a result of Vivzie desperately trying to parallel Valdust with Radiohusk.

[phoukanamedpookie]

Unpopular opinion: Fandom overestimates how much Zuko resents Azula.

Zuko himself said that Azula's not the one he's angry at in "The Beach." I know that's not a lot to go on, but this was a deliberate choice on the writers' and showrunners' part. I'm ignoring the comics because they do every character dirty and betray the major themes and messages of the show.

Contrary to something I'm seeing more often in headcanons and media analysis, the purpose of art (as opposed to propaganda or commerce) is not to deceive its audience. So, when a character in a moment of vulnerability reveals their innermost thoughts and feelings, it's best to assume they're telling the truth.

What does Zuko say that night by the bonfire? Azula asks him, "Who are you angry at? Is it me?"

And Zuko says, "No."

Canon!Zuko is many things, but he's not: a) a good liar, b) shy about expressing his anger, or c) afraid of Azula, even when he should be.

Fandom often ignores "The Beach" when analyzing these two, but it's the most revealing episode about what they're really like without external forces pushing them to be at odds. What's that like? Remarkably normal. The distrust and resentment one would expect from them are simply not there.

In fact, the kuai ball game proves that they work extremely well together when they're on the same side, just as they did when they fought together in the Crystal Catacombs. They're very much in sync. It's impressive when you think about it.

The tragedy of the final Agni Kai is that they don't hate each other, and they didn't really have a choice to become enemies. They were forced into deadly conflict by things outside of their control. One could argue that the music of the Last Agni Kai symbolizes Zuko's growing awareness, perhaps subconscious, that him fighting his own sister (whom he can tell is struggling) for the throne is neither noble nor honorable but deeply tragic.

With all that in mind, I'm not sure that I'm completely on board with the idea that there's so much bad blood between the two of them that it's a Herculean task to overcome it. Honestly, without the grown-ups playing them against each other, I believe they'd find it surprisingly easy to get to a healthy place together. Knowing the two of them, they'd likely find a sort of macabre humor in it.

"How are you two getting along so well?"

"We are brother and sister."

"But... she tried to kill you. Multiple times."

"Duh! We're Fire Nation royalty. It's family tradition."

"Yeah, if you don't try to kill your sibling at least once, are you really family?"

[bluespiritshonour]

Oh my God!

I just caught up with World's Finest: Teen Titans and I absolutely have to write this out:

First of all, I love this cover:

The thing that caught my eye: “you're grounded.”

Not the dramatic “you're fired” as if the motherfucker didn't raise that damn kid in his own damn house for YEARS.

(I know. I know. Bar on the ground, but what would you?)

Also, the anger palpable on Bruce's face and Dick's absolute disregard for it. I'm laughing here y'all. This is what teenagers act like. This is what fights between parents and children look like.

Also. Dick Grayson, I've been missing. You're back from war!

I love how curt he is. The “Get lost” hits in all the right places. We love a strongly-principled character that stands for what he believes in. With all the lukewarm Dick Grayson writing floating around I felt like walking into a coffee shop while it's snowing outside.

More of this writing, please.

I'd been waiting for this moment all through this series.

This conversation.

I compare things all the time. It might not be the right thing in every field but I think it serves well when it comes to comic books. We all have personal “canon criteria”—for example, mine are “Darwyn Cooke wrote this Bruce so I'm taking it as valid characterisation ” or “Every version of Bruce played by Kevin Conroy is valid”. (Minus Bruce Timm bullshit!)

Which was what cinched my hatred for Bruce after reading a Robin short story that Cooke wrote and alluded to Robin: Year One in it. I mean, I might not fuck with Dixon, but am I going to call even Cooke's Bruce OOC? No. It means Bruce is a jerk. Full stop.

Waid is one of the writers I respect (excluding Kingdom Come. I hate it and I can't put my finger on the why. But I just do: I hate it. I hate it for Clark. I hate it for Diana. And I'm a professional Bruce-hater so let's not even go there. I hate it for Dick too.)

And Dick and Bruce's relationship has a lot of baggage from the fact that a) Bruce is himself traumatised and fails to meet Dick's emotional needs b) he wasn't ready to be a father when he adopted Dick c) Dick simply suffers from being the eldest—the test child.

And very rarely have I seen writers manage to walk on the thin line of complicated-but-dedicated-and-strong.

Young Justice cartoon did it. Dick and Bruce's relationship is going strong. But they fight and have different values. And Dick can see all that is wrong with Bruce's approach to vigilantism in particular and life in general.

Grimm (Legends of the Dark Knight #149-154) did it right. Where Bruce hurt Dick deeply and made him feel unwanted all the while overthinking about Dick's well-being. Way to go, buddy! You can see the repercussions it has for Dick while simultaneously stare at this man who's tying himself into knots trying to think how best to parent.

I think that's what most Bruce and Dick comics miss: the excessive worrying. They don't show the worry, make them fight for drama, never address it apart from throwing out a “it's because Bruce's worried” (bitch, where?) and have Dick running back to Gotham at the first chance. It sounds an awful lot like “your parents hurt you 'cause they love you” bullshit.

I think World's Finest manages it well because foremost, Bruce says, in words, that he's worried about Dick's well-being. He's taciturn, he's putting constant pressure on Dick all in the hopes of making him quit Titans. All this makes him a jerk. But I don't hate him for it.

It's between Dick's “you don't trust me” and Bruce's “no, I don't trust them.”

Most teenagers clash with their parents. It's normal. That's what Waid has shown here and I love it. It feels very—normal?

Especially when the Bats aren't normal! Bruce sure as fuck ain't a normal parent. But there was something very bitter-sweet coming-of-age in this conversation.

Bruce does all those things that are bad for Dick and his growing independence. You're not supposed to handle teenagers like that.

He's worried and taking desperate measures. “If I punish him, then maybe he'll obey me and quit Titans and then he'll he safe”—lots of parents who don't know how to deal with teenagers do it.

But the sequence of it: Bruce is worried → Bruce wants Dick to quit Titans → for Dick it means proving himself to be better, to not get hurt (as if he can control that beyond a certain point) → Bruce being alarmed at Dick's insistence to stay with the Titans and taking desperate measures like benching him.

At least it makes sense.

Compare it to Dixon's Nightwing origin story, which honestly, personally I think was lazy writing. Drama for drama's sake. “You’re fired because you're spending too much time with the Titans.” The same writer also had Bruce say that he did it because he wanted Dick to strike out on his own. Blah, blah, blah.

And no matter whatever happens he'd never ever say it to Dick's face that he's worried about him because—well, reasons.

Robin: Year One logic:

I'm worried about Dick's health so I fire him. He runs off and can get hurt? He joins a school for assasins? None of my business. He can get hurt on his own, I don't care as long as it is not on my conscience. Peace.

—Bruce “professional narcissist” Wayne.

So, yes. When faced with this book(WF: TT), I'd call Dixon's writing lazy.

I'm also comparing this to several other instances when Bruce verbally says (never to Dick, mind you) that he loves that Dick's a better person and better vigilante than him. But in the same book he'd yell at Dick for exactly the same thing. (I consider that lazy writing, since BTAS made sure to show a shot of Bruce smiling whenever Dick was happy/not like him).

I like this thing here where he says it to Dick's face. He's still grounding him for “discipline's sake” or whatever—very, very IC for Bruce.

But he also lets Dick know that he appreciates his values, that are different—better—than Bruce's own.

I can stomach that.

Honestly Bruce's writing in this book felt like BtAS writing (pre-Bruce Timm fuckery). That's a compliment.

P.S. Waid's a good story-teller overall. His Superman: Birthright was one of the first Superman comics I read and I fell in love with Clark right away.

Peace ✌️😂

[koolades-world]

Hi can you do a fluff alphabet with Beel?

hello! of course :)

if anyone else requests a specific character for this prompt, i'll do it pretty quickly just because i'm in the mood to do this right now :)

enjoy!

Fluff alphabet w/ Beel

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

he loves how open and accepting you are to new people, and those who already know you. if you weren't, you probably never would've gotten to know each other and he's grateful you let him into your heart

B = Bonding (what's your favorite mutual bonding activity?)

any mealtime! belphie and you always sit on either side of him, so he can always be next to his two favorite people. even though he's always eating, he loves making it a habit to always make sure you're sitting before he starts to eat. it's just not the same if you're not there

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

since he's always a little afraid he's going to crush you, despite what you say, he likes to have you on top of him. he loves it when you're drape yourself over him and rest your head on his shoulder. he loves getting to hold you close <3

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

to be honest, any date that you picked and are enjoying (and involves at least one snack for him) makes him happy. if it's all up to him, you're going to an all you can eat buffet haha

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

he's very open with you, and while he struggles with putting words to his emotions, he's willing to at least try to tell you. he's not the type to close himself off from you, unless he somehow thinks he's the problem. you just need to reassume him, and it won't be hard to get him to speak

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

he very much loves his family, and while it's not a must, he'd be a great father. he's patient and understanding, and having a child of his own would make him an ever better demon than he already is

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

most of his gifts are your favorite snacks, whenever he takes a trip to the store. he always makes sure to buy extra so he doesn't eat what's for you. however, he once gave you a cheeseburger plushie which now never leaves your bed or stays behind while you're on vacation

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

a HUGE hand holder. anytime he has a free hand in public, he'll seek you out. if you don't have a free hand, he'll carry something for you so he can hold it. it's very sweet how even when you're only together briefly when he's walking you to class, he makes sure to hold your hand. just make sure to throw some wet wipes in your bag because his hands are probably dirty haha

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

he doesn't say much, but you can tell from the tight look on his face that he's very worried. he feels as if it's his job to protect everyone he loves. he's the type to break down in tears and tell you he's sorry that he failed because he cares so much

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

in general, he doesn't do a whole lot of jokes, but he can be funny. he tends to take things literally so if he hears a joke he doesn't understand, he's quick to turn to you to ask you explain

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

most of his kisses are quick, but you're still able to feel the love through his other actions, such as the way he holds you or the tenderness of his hands in yours. he mostly does forehead and top of the head kisses. his breath probably smells like whatever he last ate, so just be prepared for that

L = Love Confession (how'd they confess to you? how'd you get together?)

he at first struggled to find a way to tell you because he just couldn't put it in words, so after getting your permission, he tries his best to show you. when that doesn't work out, he sits down with you and does his best to explain. you eventually picked up on what he was trying to tell you, and let him know you had feelings for him too

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

his favorite memory is a late night at a fast food place together. after being hungry with no food in the house because he ate it all earlier, the two of you went out to get something to eat. not much was open because of the time, but the fact that you agreed to go on this journey with him was more than enough for him. your unwavering trust in him and your enthusiasm helped cement your way into his heart

your favorite memory was the first time he sat down with you and listened to you vent about your struggles in the devildom and everything you missed about the human world. he went through a lot of trouble, but managed to get your favorite human world snack. the look on his face as he presented it to you was something you'll never forget

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

failing to protect you. he's very afraid to lose another someone so beloved to him, especially if he deems it as his fault. he still sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night from nightmares about that very subject. after one of those, just seeing you alright brings him the comfort he needs to go back to sleep

O = Obvious (how obvious do they make it that they like you?)

he's not subtle at all and doesn't try to hide it. he's always by your side and offering you his snacks. the only other being that gets offered snacks that he's actively eating is his twin. it's no secret how much he cares for you and is willing to take on any challenge for you

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

he's not big on pet names until he discovers food related names. while he still prefers your name, sometimes he will use nicknames like muffin or honey

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

any free time he has, he wants to be by your side. whenever he's just idling and munching on something, he finds himself wanting to be in the same room as you, if not to have a conversation, just to be around you because that makes him so happy

R = Romance (how romantic are they?)

he tries, but honestly he's not very suave. his struggle to articulate what he's thinking leads to some more thoughtful, or funny conversations, but usually not romantic. but, it's the thought that counts

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

at first, he's kind of closed off, but once you get to know each other, he'll tell you anything on his mind, from very lighthearted, like what would happen if all his favorite foods grew legs and walked off, to serious, like his life before the devildom. he doesn't keep anything important from you because he highly values communication

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

at first, you weren't sure if you were going to get along with him, but after you made the pact, you kind of saw it coming. you really connected after you stayed in his room when he destroyed one of the walls to you room, and it was history after that

U = Unique (what makes them unique?)

his gentle giant, protective nature. no matter what, he's always sure he checks up on you and always finds a way to help you if you need it

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? do they like to show you off?)

he's proud of your cordialness, even towards those who spoke down to you in the past. nobody has anything bad to say about you

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

he can't deny how nervous that idea makes him. even when he's right next to you, he's paranoid something might happen to you. but, he knows you can hold your own and trusts you. he would beat up someone for you though haha

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

he's very good at being able to tell how you feel, and is quick to ask how you're feeling if he notices any changes. sometimes if he's enjoying a really good snack or meal, it might take him a little longer, but he'll abandon the food to talk to you if needed

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

while heat of the moment is the wrong way to describe it, he found himself asking you after a moment where he knew he wanted to be with you forever. he actually went off to get the ring he had to then get down on one knee. he'd been trying to find a way to ask, but he was glad the moment came to him

Z = Zzz (how do they act when they're sleepy? what's it like sharing a bed with them?)

he's usually mostly coherent, and is easy enough to help into bed if needed. unless he's hungry or just had a nightmare, he sleeps like a brick, so make sure you're comfortable before he falls asleep.

[oneatlatime]

Sokka's Master

pleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegoodpleasebegood

Strange choice of master but we'll see where this goes.

The meteor shower animation is quite meditative. I wouldn't mind it as a screensaver.

How to describe something exceptional to your blind friend: "You've never not seen anything like this." It's amazing the quality put into even the tiniest of throwaway jokes.

Are meteor strikes flammable?

I love how whenever Sokka's disappointed he gets noodle arms. A surprisingly consistent characterisation.

Momo butt skate.

Iroh. The fuck?

ok. So he's playing a part for the guards. Why?

Pretty.

Funny to think about, but as a former WWE character, Toph's probably had more hero worship than the Avatar.

Lots to say about this! First, I stand corrected! i honestly thought that Sokka would be immune to this specific insecurity by virtue of him not being a bender. I was wrong! Second, I love how, as soon as Sokka expresses that he feels that he isn't as talented as the rest of them, the others respond by listing his actual, invaluable talents, without which the group would be completely at sea. They don't respond with "no you're perfect!" they respond with "no one can read a map like you can" and how he keeps their spirits up with jokes. They're not using false praise. They are using specific facts. I love that an episode that looks like it's going to deal with a character feeling down on themselves establishes from the get go that the character is invaluable, actually. So often, the 'low self esteem stock episode' puts the affirmation of the character's value at the end. Which means the viewer spends the whole episode being convinced that the character in question might actually be useless. Here, we're told from the start that the character is invaluable - the problem is that they do not perceive themselves to be so. Quite on the nose for a show that deals so much with identity.

OMIGOD IT GETS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!

Validating Katara sweeps in and a) validates his feelings, while b) clearly explaining that his self-perception is not in line with how the others see him, which c) doesn't invalidate a) !!!!

Katara has such emotional intelligence when she chooses to use it.

Nuanced intelligent discussion of the complexities of emotions and self-perception in a Sokka episode I am so happy I am blessed the gods are shining on me today I'm sitting here twirling my hair and swinging my feet and doodling hearts on the corner of my journal

SHOPPING!!!!!

btw that's the same face he makes when he says SUKI!!!

"Reinvigorate my battling" this boy. just. this boy.

He lasted a lot longer than I would have with nun chucks.

Aang the Happy Meal toy.

Some say that Halberd is still spinning today.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present: the 45 degree Sokka.

Some Foley artist had the time of their life with this weapons sequence.

Why thank you for that exposition, Mr. Exposition. Now walk away and we'll never see you again.

Toph does NOT move ONCE this whole scene and it's ever so slightly freaking me out.

Toph tells you she learned from Badgermoles and no one wants to discuss this further?!? We're going to gloss over that?

So this episode has a training montage theme.

Sokka goes freestyle on those door knockers.

That's one hell of a castle. Must be dark in there though. Tiny windows.

Which explains the several hundred candles. This show. Set up with one hand; slam dunk with the other.

This guy's reciting Sokka's s1 introduction on Kyoshi Island.

Sokka: Actually. I am a dumb. The Master: Sold.

The face of someone who is definitely picking up what you're putting down.

It's been ages since I watched the episode, but is some of what the Master saying here about swords an echo of what Zuko says to the kid in Zuko Alone when he's decapitating sunflowers?

A Sokka-less Gaang. Depressing and they know it.

The way Katara's voice actor says "oh everyone's a critic" is gold.

Multidisciplinary education vs. kid who's never been within a mile of the box he's being told to think outside of. Fight!

Yikes that was a meaty hit. Does Sokka have a nose left?

They're wearing beehives on their heads.

Was Sokka always this short?

The greens in this episode are such a delight.

The way he says "I'm finished!" Sounds like "Am finished" and you can actually hear the smiley emoji he throws in.

He's good.

What do they FEED him?

Sokka's voice actor had a great time this episode. All the voice actors had a great time actually.

Sokka invents the La Z Boy

Katara inadvertently invents a fandom war by attempting a joke.

They're all so useless and it's wonderful.

That was all only one day? That's a lot of outfit changes for one day.

"You mess things up in a very special way." Compliment? Let's go with compliment.

Sokka is so very Sokka this episode.

A reason to live is coming!

*thundering herds of shippers in the distance*

That's clever. The inciting incident gets smelted. Haven't seen that before.

This whole Iroh gets buff montage has been completely dialogue free on Iroh's part. Crazy levels of inner peace, that he'd doesn't need to snark back at the guard.

Seriously. What are they FEEDING these children. Also how is that door that shiny.

Sokka really has it in for those door knockers.

Apropos of nothing, the clouds in this episode are all so yummy. All these soft slate colours and misty layers.

Meteoric iron is actually a thing, right?

Ok but aren't mold made swords crappy?

HI YUE

I love how they managed to made a crafting montage where the character who does the least work is the one who looks like he's working the hardest.

"I saw a heart as strong as my garden decor"

"No it certainly wasn't your skills. You had none."

Creativity, versatility, intelligence, meat, sarcasm.

You've known him like two days and you can already tell he's more worthy than any man you've ever trained? Sounds like you had poor taste in students.

"No. This is my fight. Alone." Bro you are going to DIE. The first time you held a sword was two days ago. You might need the avatar on this one.

Guard who never shuts up actually kind of has a point here. He's a dick about as usual, but it's entirely possible that the rank and file of the Fire Nation army view Iroh's actions as a betrayal. Does anyone remember in Star Wars movie number 7, or maybe 8, when that Trooper sees Finn after he's switched sides and yells "traitor!" and it's the best part of the movie? Yeah, like that.

This episode throws the concept of linear time out the window. In two days, Iroh gets swole and Sokka masters sword fighting.

Do you think Sokka's realised yet that this is his final exam?

Yummy yummy clouds.

One in a million pocket sand shot.

One in a million stick placement.

So this master is like a sword spirit or something. He can't be human. There's no way he could get the scabbard to fly on perfectly without seeing.

"Try Lee, There's a million Lees. There's a tea shop in Ba Sing Se that has a super cranky waiter called Lee."

This guy's just this side of committing treason and I love it.

I see this Master is a devotee of the 'Hakoda school of shoving outrageously over the top compliments into Sokka's thick skull in the hopes that 1% of them will stick.' I approve.

This last scene has gorgeous hills and skies but you'll have to take my word for it because I've hit the image limit.

Sokka's been inducted into the super secret boy band!!!

He saved space earth for Toph! He's so considerate! He's fuelling the ships!

Let's compromise and call it space dirt instead.

Final Thoughts

This episode every two minutes: Sokka, you are currently flawless and you're about to get better. Me: Yes. Yep. Yeah. Seconded. I concur.

I like it! It's great! It's 24 minutes of the writers and characters fangirling over Sokka! Of course I like it! It made me criminally overuse exclamation marks! What else can I say?

Hands down my favourite episode is Bato of the Water Tribe. For Sokka's story, this episode is Bato of the Water Tribe part 2. Of course I'm going to love it. This episode was lab grown specifically for me.

Now let's see if I can say something about this episode that isn't poorly disguised squealing.

I love how the characters respond to Sokka saying he's not special with an evidence-based refutation rather than blanket reassurance.

I love how shopping cheers up Sokka. I love how Katara knows that shopping will cheer him up. This must be something she's learned since the show started. I don't think there were malls in the South Pole. So Katara was paying attention when Sokka and Momo went through the bag saga.

I love how much the master is baffled yet impressed by Sokka. He seems almost charmed by this breath of fresh air. I think it's hilarious that, when Sokka first approaches him, he's expecting early season 1 Sokka. He'd better send Suki a thank you card.

I also really like "The way of the sword doesn't belong to any one nation." It seems obvious to us, but in a world where there are weaponisable skills that are quite literally inseparable from the nations their wielders inhabit, it's probably something no one in the Gaang has ever heard before.

Obviously the episode is a little rushed - half hour kid's show and all that - but it's still pretty crazy that you can apparently impart a solid basic knowledge of swordplay in two days.

Toph going all tsundere is funny, and makes Aang and Katara unapologetically desperate for Sokka's company twice as funny as it already is. Toph's like "whatever" and the other two spent the day making a welcome home banner.

I love how Sokka's happiness is always so loud and shameless. It makes it contagious.

This episode highlights what Sokka's actual strengths are, by instructing him in what he thinks his strengths are. If that makes sense? Sokka is brain, which he's finally starting to realise by attending brawn lessons.

He's also heart, and I'll die on that hill.

Iroh getting swole was honestly just a thing that happened. No comment really, except it was interesting to have a reminder from the guard that a character we perceive as the good guy is currently perceived as the bad guy by everyone but us. When the Fire Nation does inevitably get defeated, a whole nation is going to have to reset their worldview and that will not be an easy process.

More like this please!

[still-a-morosexual-help]

okay so lately I have seen a lot of people claim they hate mammon bc he steals from mc, and like there's nothing wrong with disliking a character lol but I don't recall mammon ever stealing from mc?? like the only thing I can think of is that one time in season 1 I think where he was going through their stuff and said he was looking for something to sell (I think?? it's been a while) and beel straight up calling him a liar lmao l'm just wondered if I missed something? or if this is just newer players who maybe misunderstood that one scene? and I figured if anyone would know it would be you lmao

I got so fucking pissed about this (not at you anon <3) cos this is the third time I got an ask like this, that I scrolled all the way down my 'Obey Me Mammon' tag to June/July 2020 and then slowly scrolled my way up pulling all the receipts I could.....I saw this immediately after you sent it and I just finished now...... turns out it takes 5 straight hours to go through my Mammon tag😶

I have answered this exact same ask twice before and I can only assume it's new people? Like honestly you can't play the game for a long time and still think this (they prove this false within the game in LESSON FOUR)

Not only does Mammon NOT steal from MC, he also:

a.) Gets legitimate/legal jobs whenever he wants to buy MC something (which is pretty frequently)

b.) Shares the money with them when he comes into a large sum of money

But anyway here are the links to the posts talking about all this:

(everything is directly taken from canon or based off canon)

A.) No he doesn't steal from MC

• Full Summary of the Lesson 4 locked chapter where he goes through MC's stuff and a compare and contrast of what we know about Mammon from future lessons, events, devilgrams

• First post talking about this, goes more into detail about him not stealing from them

• Second shorter post about how he doesn't steal from them

• They're literally Partners in Crime

• He straight up refuses the Midas touch (multiple times I believe) after realising it means he won't be able to touch MC anymore

• HEADCANON that maybe he steals/borrows their clothes, with their knowledge, to wear

• In the small introductory manga page they say the thing he likes as much as money is MC

• In S3 he admits to loving MC more than he loves money

B.) He goes out of his way to get MC Presents (which we works actual jobs to earn money for)

• Mammon at the Office Devilgram, where he gets an actual office job so he can buy MC a watch he saw them looking at

• In the Movie Date Devilgram he rents out an entire theatre for the two of them because it was the anniversary of the day they first met

• In the You Always Ride Shotgun Devilgram he rents out a pool for the two of them

• He's always giving MC presents

• Usually he buys matching things for them

• He buys them shoes in their favourite colour

• Mammon's love language

• He wants to share his winnings from a lottery with MC

• He finds a secret second map in the pirate au event and tells only MC so they can share the treasure

C.) It's not just MC, he puts the others before Money too

• In the Presents From Mammon Devilgram he buys presents for everyone

• In The Guardian Demon Devilgram he saves a 9yr old orphaned homeless human girl from a mugger, fosters her and plans to pay for all her needs until she's an adult/can provide for herself - which is why he's always in debt to the three witches who look after her for him, there's also extortion going on from them towards him

• He'd rather lose the entire fortune he won than make Luke upset

• List of times he's put others before money

• He straight up tells Luke he doesn't mind missing out on a reward as long as it means Luke is alright

• Socks for Beel

• He gets a stone for his birthday which can give him whatever he wishes for, he wishes for fortune to come to whoever has the stone and then gives the stone to a student who tried to hurt him

D.) How Mammon works as a character

• Solmare makes you form certain expectations about him and then starts breaking them within the next few lessons and it's amazing to witness

• Friendship, Actions & Reality Vs Calling MC 'Servant'

• Mammon, MC and their Friendship

• Mammon being smart and why he comes off as an idiot

• His thoughts about himself vs MC

• He's actively changing and growing as a character and he knows it

• How Mammon actually views himself

• Why there's a difference in his level of affection in public vs privately

• Jerk with a heart of gold trope but better

• Mammon and how much he cares about consent

• How outsiders see Mammon vs how people from the city see Mammon vs how his close friends and family see him

• Chasing some creep away from MC

• How his relationship with MC changes and grows throughout the season

E.) Other reasons to love him

• Examples of how much he loves MC

• How supportive he & MC are of each other

• Some of his funniest moments

• He's objectively terrifying

• Mammon being a good brother

• He's extremely ride or die for MC

• He waits for MC when they've got to stay late at RAD for other work

• Despite being an ancient being all his best memories consist of the time he's spent with MC

• He created a whole line of toys based around missing MC

• Everything he says about loving MC in his 2022 birthday event

• List of things he's good at

• The amount he loves MC

And this is just a few of my posts about mammon, his character and what there's to love about him

And look it's MORE than okay for people to dislike a character but at least dislike them for something that actually happened?

[nutzgunray-lvt]

Why I Hate Canon Dadzawa

I'm pretty sure I've said this before multiple times, but Aizawa is my second least favorite character in MHA behind Bakugou and ahead of Shinsou. Most of this is because of his canon actions/how he's written, but a lot of this is due to people INSISTING that Fanon Dadzawa is Canon Dadzawa.

To put out a disclaimer, I don't mind Fanon Dadzawa. There's been some really well written Fanon Dadzawa fics that I like, and I'm of the belief that you can and should write whatever fics you want. I also think that Canon Dadzawa/Aizawa as a whole could have been such an interesting character had he been written better. Instead (like with almost every other character in MHA) we get someone whose actions don't match how he's supposed to come off as.

This topic is a sore spot for me, because the people who got me into MHA tried selling me on Dadzawa, Dadzawa, Dadzawa. I felt so tricked when I first got into it and saw that none of what they were saying was true.

Just like how Bakugou is a Temu version of Vegeta (so insulting to Vegeta) and Sasuke (who is another character I don't really like, but will put well above Bakugou), Aizawa is a SheIn version of Kakashi; a conventionally attractive, badass, no-nonsense teacher who genuinely cares about and is protective of his students. I have my problems with Kakashi, but it's at least been actually shown that he cares for his students, and whenever he does a "Rational Deception", he not only immediately explains himself, but he only ever did them in his introduction. For that matter, he's actually a good friend to Guy.

Aizawa, on the other hand, is a hot mess of a walking, talking contradiction in writing and Character Shilling. We're constantly told that he's this amazing teacher and amazing person, but the evidence doesn't match up with these claims.

He never owns up to his failings, choosing to a) ignore them entirely, b) excuse them away, or c) throw other undeserving people under the bus to make himself look good. We see this in how he halfheartedly acknowledges Ida angrilly calling him out on his repeated lying to 1A, when he excuses away his utter failure in curbing Bakugou's awful behavior with his "deep seated conviction" in bring a hero, and when he tries throwing All Might under the bus when Hound Dog calls them out in exaserbating Izuku's trust issues after the Gentle Criminal fight.

For that matter, he has yet to apologize to Izuku after his realization during the Liberation Front War of how much of jackass he was to him. Seriously, Izuku has saved his ass I don't know how many times, and he continued being such an ungrateful bastard towards him. I'm not saying he should have gotten on his knees and proclaimed his life to him, but you would think that would have at least changed his attitude towards him.

And speaking of Izuku, while he's always on his ass about his Quirk control... he completely ignores the issues that Aoyama and Kaminari have with THEIR Quirks. Kaminari being taken hostage at the USJ due to his lack of Quirk Control goes completely unacknowledged, and Aoyama's lack of Quirk Control is treated solely for comedic value. You'd think Dadzawa: Best UA Teacher would try to help the two of them as well, but nope.

I could go on all day about his expulsion record, but the point is, he's ruining these students' lives due to him projecting his own traumas onto them. I have to reiterate this, but these expulsions DO IN FACT stay on their permanent records. In Japan, having an expulsion on your permanent record CAN AND WILL prevent you from getting a well paying job. Expulsion is treated as an absolute last resort for a reason, and to see him throw that threat around like it's nothing is horrible of him. Nedzu is a horribly negligent principal for letting Aizawa do this, and the fact that nobody has sued UA for this is a miracle.

Then we get to his favoritism of Bakugou and Shinsou, probably the biggest indicator of his hypocrisy.

It makes absolutely NO SENSE that Aizawa's presented as this strict hardass of a teacher, and then he's shown giving preferental treatment to an abusive egoist (that was canonically how Bakugou was described in his character profile) and a whiny, Quirkist Troll doll that's not even in the Heroics Course. This is especially egrigious considering how often he bitches and moans about All Might mentoring Izuku! He sticks his neck out for Bakugou when he absolutely doesn't deserve it and when you know for a fact he wouldn't do this for his other students.

For that matter, he's such an awful friend to Mic and Midnight. His relationship with both of them is all take and no give. Mic canonically surpressed his own grief and trauma surrounding Oboro and Midnight's deaths for Aizawa's sake, and while it was wrong of Midnight to throw Aizawa's name into the teacher's ring behind his back, he repays her trying to get him a job by doing all the above I just listed. His relationship with them is unhealthy as hell, especially since they NEVER take him to task for his awful behavior.

On top of all of THAT, he genuinely thinks he's this amazing teacher and person, given how angry he gets at Mic for calling him a terrible teacher during the Sports Festival. He calls Vlad King a better teacher than him... but doesn't do ANYTHING to change his ways. You can't have it both ways, Aizawa.

In conclusion, Aizawa would have been such an interesting character had he been allowed to examine and change his attitude and teachings. Instead, we get someone who unfairly has a reputation of being a paragon of goodness and rationality.

[actual-changeling]

replies from this post

Making a separate post because the character limit in replies drives me insane and this will get wayyyy too long. @honeybeehum

Now!

I would agree that it was Aziraphale trying to smooth things over the fact—it's not like I want him to be hurtful to Crowley—but there are several reasons why I personally think that interpretation doesn't align with what we see on the screen.

First things first, the timing.

The thing is that at this point Crowley is done arguing, he was about to leave, but Aziraphale holds him back; their conversation was over and he had no interest in continuing it. However, he stops and hears him out because he is kind like that, and Aziraphale speed-runs an emotional manipulation checklist to get him to change his mind.

The only one talking is Aziraphale, Crowley is not responding, he is not even looking at him after he says 'together' because it hurts, and the nightingales comment is the last last LAST ditch hopeful effort to maybe make him understand (and it actually does work somewhat).

Crowley kisses him and it's not in the middle of an argument, not even at the end of it, really. That kiss is an "everything I never said to you" and it is a good bye because he knows exactly how Aziraphale will respond to it.

If Crowley had kissed him right after his confession (before 'you can't leave this bookshop') I would agree that the timing is horrendous—but he didn't. Personally, I dislike that trope just as much as you, and I don't think they played into it here.

Secondly, Aziraphale's intention.

There's a whole list of reasons as to why I think 'I forgive you' is an intentionally cruel choice on his part.

a) Aziraphale has a history of saying increasingly hurtful things when Crowley does not respond the way he wants him to (e.g. their argument in S2E1 about Jimbriel, the bandstand, the argument later, etc.).

b) The phrase itself, I forgive you, has a history. He has used it and similar ones before, probably way more times than we get to see, and not ONCE has Crowley responded to it positively. Distressed, upset, desperate, heartbroken—but it never actually achieved anything, there is no bigger meaning within that phrase.

c) Aziraphale saying it is not about forgiveness, it is about power and who holds the power in their dynamic in that moment.

Whenever he realises that maybe he's fucked up, maybe being on heaven's side is not good, maybe Crowley was indeed right and I was wrong, he starts scrambling for a sense of control.

'I forgive you' gives him that, simply look at all the other times we do see him use it. That line is essentially Aziraphale saying "I'm right and I 'forgive you' for being wrong". It ends arguments or lines of conversation and it hurts Crowley, and that is exactly what he uses it for in this situation.

Right after the kiss, he suddenly becomes overly hesitant, almost changes his mind, because the nightingale reference made him realise that he has fucked up. There are now two ways of fixing this:

I) Admit that he made a mistake, apologize to Crowley, and tell the Metatron that he changed his mind and will stay on earth.

II) Double down on what he already said and did, return to heaven, and show Crowley that he will not change his mind and thinks he's right.

Aziraphale goes with the second option.

d) In one of your replies you said this:

I’d feel manipulated and ignored if my gf tried that on me while we were fighting.

The thing is, Crowley's not the one doing it, but Aziraphale is.

Aziraphale has been ignoring and manipulating Crowley for that entire conversation. He starts by essentially telling him to shut the fuck up because whatever he has to say is more important than anything Crowley might want to tell him. Crowley still actively listens, hears him out, allows him to explain.

He takes what Aziraphale says and properly responds to him.

Does Aziraphale listen? No.

He ignores everything Crowley says and simply does exactly what I said above—he doubles down and starts saying hurtful things. Even when Crowley asks him a DIRECT QUESTION (counting 'tell me you said no' as a question here since there's the expectation of an answer) Aziraphale does not say yes or no. He DOES NOT ANSWER and instead once again doubles down and makes it about himself (If I'm in charge I can make a difference).

I wrote a meta post comparing their argument in the bookshop with the one during the final fifteen, and they always follow the same pattern and Aziraphale never listens.

So while I'd LOVE to assume the best here, I really would, it simply does not add up with the character & plot Neil has written and presented us with.

[quirkwizard]

I'm not sure why I made this. I just thought it would be fun to do and now all you have to see the fruits of my labor. So, without further ado, the Pro Hero Parent Tier List. Hope you all enjoy it and try not to take it too seriously.

F Tier: Gran Torino, Recovery Girl, and Yoroi Musha: The simple fact is that these three characters are way too old to be parents. Maybe if this were a grandparent tier list, they'd be higher, but it isn't, so they're all going in the F Tier.

D Tier: Endeavor: Look, do I even need to explain this one? You all know what he did. One of the biggest problems in the story is the result of all the messed up stuff Enji did as a dad. His attempt at redemption was to remove himself from his family. Easy bottom tier.

Nana: While I'm someone who tries to understand Nana's position and decisions in regards to her kid and her role as a "One For All" user, she still didn't seem like a very good parent even when she was around. She herself even admits that, so that is what puts her so low.

Gang Orca: What few interactions we see him having with kids is screaming about their failures and throwing them when he is dissatisfied with their answers. That is bound to cause some trauma later. Like some Pavlovain response when they think of Free Willy.

Hound Dog: He may be a guidance consular that works with kids, implying some understanding of child psychology, but if his first reaction is to yell and growl at any emotional problems in front of him, he probably isn't going to communicate with his own kids.

Thirteen: I get that Thirteen is someone who takes a lot of care and consideration with her power and is quite safe to be around. That being said, I don't think that someone who is at risk of destroying their own child at the atomic level should really be handling children.

C Tier: Edgeshot: There really isn't a lot to say about Edgeshot as we don't get a lot of personality outside of being stoic, which could certainly be an issue for a parent. That being said, being willing to sacrifice yourself for a kid does push him above the bottom of the tier list.

Mount Lady: If we're considering her early in the series, she'd definitely be at the lower tier given how irresponsible and self-centered she is. Though considering her development and how mature she's gotten in general, she barely scrapes by as an average parent.

Kaumi Woods: Kamui Woods is just kind of average. There just isn't a lot going on with him that could give or detract merit from the little hero work he's done. He's here by default. His inability to hug his kids without giving them splinters would certainly be an issue.

Manual: Again, he's average. The most we have is that he seemed to do pretty well with handling Iida's whole situation but didn't seem to notice it in the first place. Otherwise, he's pretty plain. I could see him being the lame dad his kids don't want to talk to or be around.

Miruko: Definite Tiger Mom. She'd be making her kids do all kinds of sports stuff and getting them to exercise all the time. She cares, but she shows it by trying to make her kids excel at what they're doing. Great if they're into that, but I can see it fostering a lot of resentment.

Sir Nighteye: Like Miruko, but at the other end of the spectrum. He would be the kind of dad to make his kid study a lot because that's what he would think would be best for them. Cares and can loosen up when needed, but is emotionally distant most times.

B Tier: Ms. Joke: She is a teacher, meaning she must have some understanding of kids. She'd definitely be the "Fun Mom". She'd always try to keep a smile on her kid's face, even if that meant making terrible mom jokes. Be ready, she has been working on them for years.

Ectoplasm: He seems to be pretty good with kids, but the real clencher is his power. No matter what, he could always be around to be present in his kid's life. And hey, family dynamics are always changing. Who is to say a family can't be just a kid and their thirty-six identical dads?

Ryukyu: She can be hard on herself, but she seems to have a soft spot for children and do well with her wards, given how well they have turned out, being commanding without being harsh. And let's be real: who wouldn't want to have a dragon for a parent? That alone would put her pretty high up here.

Eraserhead: This may be a controversial pick putting him so low, but hear me out. I think Aizawa would try to be a good dad, but he's married to his job, being too tired and absent to really make it work. And did you see what he bought for Eri to wear? What self-respecting father would ever do this his child?

Fourth Kind: A good role model to any kid who tries to foster strong moral foundations and understanding of community in his wards. All around, a pretty stand-up guy to have as a dad. He loses points because punching kids is not a good way to punish them, even if it hurts him more than it hurts them.

Midnight: This could be because I read Vigilantes, but Midnight actually shows quite a few parental traits, like being highly empathic and understanding of those younger than her. Then again, I can only imagine the kind of teasing and general awkwardness that would come from having the R-Rated Heroine as a mom.

A Tier: All Might: If we're counting him without "One For All", otherwise he'd be working too much to be a dad, I think that he'd be a parent. If his students are anything to go by, he'd be a pretty effective parent. We can also tell that he plays favorites with his kids, and that knocks off a few points.

Present Mic: This may be a surprise pick, but I can see him doing pretty well as a parent. He can be the fun, comic dad that plays with his kids and can get on their level, but he can instantly go into serious mode if he needs to. The fact that he can do both so well, which you kind of need as a parent, puts him pretty high on the list.

Best Jeanist: Another stand-up guy, just trying to be a good role model and look amazing while doing it. I mean, the guy had an actual positive impact on early series Bakugou. That has got to count for something. Probably has all kinds of weirdly good life advice if you can understand fashion metaphors.

Rock Lock: One of the few real parents on this list, Rock Lock just seems like a responsible parent. He did try to call out the kids for being on missions, but he was kind of right in that regard and just looking out for them. Probably try to keep his kid from doing stupid stuff. He'd be a good, but restrictive father.

Hawks: Like Present Mic, I could see Hawks being a chill dad who doesn't seem to know what's going on but actually knows everything that happens and always has one eye open when it comes to his kids. He'll give his kids their freedom, but he's going to be there to catch and guide them when they really need him.

S Tier: Mandalay: Another one of the few real parents here, and one with a pretty bad hand. Mandalay not only had to take over as a guardian out of nowhere but had to do it with a heavily traumatized child while trying to lead a team as a pro-hero. The fact that she seems to be doing as well as she is puts her this high without question.

Fat Gum: No one should be surprised that Fat Gum is this high. He's super protective without being overbearing, tries to instill valuable lessons to make them develop, and does his best to encourage his wards to be the best they could be. And could you imagine him giving hugs? That would make any problem vanish.

Tensei: Tensei is just such a good guy. He's a good role model and leader for his team without it being detrimental. He knew Koichi for about a day and he was able to understand Koichi and tried to set him up for success. Imagine how well he'd do with his own kid. Plus, he's an older brother. That's like a being a parent with training wheels.