#i ended up writing too much exposition again still fun

[azu1as]

dumb rotmhs fanfic idea: one hundred years after his death, tang bo reincarnates as the son of a wealthy merchant family in shaolin.

—basically, a tangcheong reincarnation ficlet set during the shaolin tournament arc 👍

»—————————–✄

Part 1 2 3

the zheng family was the leader of a wealthy merchant guild in shaolin. while they were not on the same level as the hwang, they were still influential enough for rumors to run amok.

And rumors always circled their eldest son.

zheng bo was as much of an enigma to his family as he was to those within their village. he had always been a quiet child but, one day, something happened that /changed/ the then five-year old.

the zheng family's son cried tears upon tears. he was absolutely inconsolable. his small body shook, overcome with emotions so heavy that his entire body was painfully heaving.

and when he woke up, eyes bloodshot and distant, it was as if the childhood spark in his eyes disappeared along with his tears the previous night.

off-handedly, his father noted the history book that was dropped haphazardly on the floor. several of its pages were scrunched up terribly.

the zheng partiarch mistook it as his son's desire to learn martial arts, but quickly learned the opposite as his son glared at the instructor with so much vitriol it was poisonous.

no matter how many instructors he sent his son's way, he all turned them back—uncaring whether they were decades-long martial artists, instructors of renowned ones, or teachers from the shaolin sect itself. if anything the latter worsened zheng bo's mood to the nth degree.

ashamedly and with deep regret, both the zheng patriarch and matriarch had to give up on their son as they realized the teaching him how to inherit their merchant guild was a futile endeavor. zheng bo would rather stay cooped up in his room in complete silence.

the zheng family had three more children after their eldest yet none of their births affected the dark veil of mourning that shadowed their eldest brother.

A veil that no one could ever seem to lift.

other families often asked after him, most in hopes of marrying off their daughters, but the zheng matriarch stiffly laughed them off.

they had tried once to set a play date with another merchant family's daughter, but it ended up with her in tears and vomiting with an upset stomach. the same occured with the next and third ones.

they catch zheng bo slip a vial with an unknown substance back into his sleeve and understood the lengths he would go to avoid such a thing from happening again.

many years go by and their second son inherited their family's merchant guild, much to the confusion of many.

it stirred up interest in zheng bo. rumors went around about his inability to perform his duties as the eldest son; some said that he was actually a bastard which was why he was overlooked.

former servants and workers from the zheng family whispered about the eldest son's madness and how his mania could not be cured by even the best of doctors and healers.

but as with all rumors and public interest, it died down when no new information sprung forth.

zheng bo was simply a crazy son who was better kept within the walls of the zheng estate than be let out for fear of what his madness would lead him to do.

when the shaolin tournament began with warriors and fighters from the ten great sects and other notable families, the zheng patriarch tried to urge zheng bo to attend and simply watch the battles with the rest of the family.

zheng bo scoffed at him.

their second son placed a comforting hand on his father's shoulders and suggested that they just let him be, "the winner has already been decided. i'm sure eldest brother would end up bored."

but the world had a funny sense of irony.

mount hua was the competition's dark horse. they were nigh unstoppable, flicking away their opponent's swords with absolute ease and twisiting around them as if they were falling petals themselves. it was an unexpected but amazing start to the competition.

as the finals approached, discussion about the upcoming fight between mount hua's divine dragon and shaolin's hye yeon run rampant outside of shaolin's walls. inside the zheng estate, no one could stop talking about the unexpected showing from what should have been a fallen sect.

tang bo, by chance, overheard the praises heeped on mount hua's divine dragon who had beaten everyone he had faced undeniably and soundly.

a part of him felt guilty that he had been too overwhelmed by his own grief and pain to even step out and check on his family and hyung's sect—especially after what he had learned about the aftermath of the battle against the demonic sect one hundred year ago.

so felt a strong wave of relief at the knowledge that mount hua had regained its footing somehow and that it was doing well enough to receive awed praise.

he felt imensely grateful towards whoever this divine dragon was because he seemed to the center of mount hua's revival.

tang bo idly wondered if chung myung was berating him in the afterlife. he asked him to take care of tang bo's family, but couldn't offer the same for his sect, he imagined that the other man would just exaggeratedly roll his eyes and tell him to start doing better then, you bastard.

and so tang bo, for the first time in a decade, knowingly chose to leave his room and approach his second-life father first.

thirty years was a long enough period to mourn, even if his heart still aches with regret.

but tang bo supposed supporting mount hua's divine dragon in the finals was a start.

[dihydromorphinone]

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 i can't wait to taste you..

after watching her for over a year, tanner can't control his urges anymore and he goes to claim what, he thinks, is rightfully his.

— tanner x reader, reader/character is implied to be female and in luna's place, not really smut but very suggestive it was supposed to be a smut though, kinda dark themed(!!) but it is consensual somehow TT, stalking references, i'll definitely write a part two with smut 👅, been writing this for four months;; kinda feel like i could've done better

if you like it pls reblog!! ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

an: i wanted to try something new hehehe tell me if you like how it's written!! also dude... tanner voicelines are so cannibalistic and sexy,,, and i feel sooo bad i drank too much and i was sitting outside drinking beer with some random ahh guy at 3am and I'm pretty sure that something i took today got laced >_< this is my comfort fic yall.

tonight was oddly peaceful. the state of Montana, especially that one – someone would say cursed – town was the complete opposite of peace. with the sudden increase in crime; murder, kidnappings, disappearances mostly the city was covered with terror. the blueblood killer was definitely a real threat, a threat that is wandering free on the sickly covered in fog streets, while the poor citizens are left in the dark – and though he enjoys the exposition he has, for tanner it wasn't enough. it's never going to be enough.

he's cruel. psychotic, even. what sane person would happily murder so many of its own kind? none. and yet, there he was. enthusiastically setting feet rhythmically on the pavement, the heels of his elegant shoes making a barely audible 'click-clacks'. so much passion in each step; the same passion which drives him to inject toxins to humans and toying them with much visible sadism. tanner – the blueblood killer, had a very distinctive way of looking at the society. for him, it was nothing else than scum. trash, refuse; all the same. no human mattered to him. he treated mankind like a child would treat its toys; fun, but only for a moment. then the toy, or in tanner's case, a human can be tossed away into some corner, because it won't serve his purpose this well again. his definition of fun, however, was as cruel as he was. stalking, trespassing, closely observing his prey's emotional reactions and how the body and mind react separately depending on the circumstances and substances. his fun ends when the victim dies or acts repetitively – so he cherishes every moment of preying upon a human.

he found one exception, though – a young woman living not-so-far-away from his hideout; the captivating lady was a detective, with her home set close to the giant, maze-like forest, where the equally handsome doctor was spending his days, and if he wasn't out satiating his disgusting urges, nights. tanner has been watching her for over a year, falling prey to the female's plush lips, seemingly sweet demeanor and her abominable desires. in their own home, each human feels safe. the only place they can be themselves, do whatever they want to do. tanner pitied them - he always did. but for some reason, he still laughed at people who acted different indoors. he defied the whole purpose of safety, stripping the victim of it.

he’s stood in the shadows – where he preferred to be, for now. the thrill of being found was growing fonder and fonder on him, but now's not the right time, tanner would always repeatedly tell himself this like a mantra. like a plea to the sober-thinking part of him to let the other, more careless and darker part have some more fun. his thirst, though, for blood and flesh was just expanding more and more... insatiable, one would think. no matter how many victims would be reported, no matter how the blueblood killer's body count would go up, the urge was almost... attached to him.

through the tinted, mostly curtain-hidden windows, he could see her moving around. left and right she swayed, not getting enough sleep and forgetting basic self care because of her almost sick, he thought, altruistic urges. such a good, upstanding individual she was - someone to look up to, to worship... the woman deserved good, proper treatment only. especially from him - all the neglect is happening because his identity, still a secret, was wanted. tanner almost convinced himself that he feels pity and cries for her, being the source of her opposite of well-being, but in the end it's hard to judge and distinguish emotions while being hazed with mad, almost lusting feelings.

there was, however, no time to reflect the past actions, even if they're undoubtedly mingling with the present. he always did whatever his body and mind wanted, more or less heart. but he would be the last one to judge - there was no place for him and his 'sick' assessment. that being said, tanner finally realised he is in fact done waiting. their time together was pleasant and wholesome, but the urge will drive him to further madness if he won't do anyting about it soon. and since this isn't a mind matter, then it would be suitable to satisfy the flesh, disregarding the heart's wishes and indulge in the woman visible through the small gap in the curtains.

but his heart cannot be silenced this fast.

after searching for his trusted syringe and the mix of liquid midazolam and some other drug he put there previously, he cracked a small smile and sighed, being able to free himself after such a long time. his playtime with victims never lasted this long - this was but a miracle, something unexpected and ready to turn his peaceful, murderous life into something even more vile, dangerous and ruined. but the thought of disposing her like a loose trash didn't sit right with him; tanner was almost disgusted by the bare thought of causing her heart to stop permantly. he was having so much fun now, it'd be almost criminal... but, what is going to happen will eventually happen, so reveal himself to her, he shall.

the woman inside the cozy home was unaware of the terror right next her door, but even if she was - it didn't really matter. for her, the most important thing to do now was to catch that damned blueblood killer, to put end to the town's suffering... and her own grief. she's lost many of her friends and few family members to his wicked fantasies, and it only felt right to do something for the rapidly decreasing community. focused on her promethean task, she couldn't hear the light creak of her door and even lighter footsteps right behind her. only after tanner stood behind her, she could sense someone's presence. shiver ran down her spine, as she vividly remembered closing the door and definitely not inviting anyone, especially this late at night. fear paralyzed her, but then came the realisation.

it could be the blueblood killer. either she will get violently gutted, or she will make a life-changing discovery. and so, the captivating lady sighed, and prepared herself for the worst moments of her life. she turned around, surprising tanner. bold. she was definitely bold, unsure of the danger's scale, yet facing it bravely. his heart barely, but still, softened. endearing, so endearing... but it was too much for her. she closed her eyes right before facing him, squinting her eyes. his little plaything was even more captivating, he thought, smiling softly. though, she could never see it.

"who are you?" she asked, knowing well the answer is going to be fake or she will get no answer at all. or maybe some pistol on her forehead would be all she needed to know before her apparent, incoming demise? but she heard a small chuckle. "i'm the one you've been searching for. pardon me, miss, for keeping you up for so many nights. figured i'd better show myself in person."

his voice was oddly attractive. so pleasant to her ears, so pleasant she almost didn't get what he was saying - clearly, the murderer who got rid of solid few percents of the town's residents was before her, and he was aware of the search. well, it was obvious he will figure it out eventually, but the fact that he exactly knew that it was her... next thing she knew, his fingers were caressing her cheekbones, which made her open her eyes in a second. the sight made her lose her breath for a second.

the blueblood killer was undeniably handsome. sharp jaw, ideally shaped brows, perfect face ratio... not a single thing was wrong. he'd definitely pass as a model, or an angel, though the circumstances made her think of him as the devil. his appearance made it easy to sin. tempting. he was clearly her type, and deep inside of herself she was having a moral battle. she couldn't help the train of thoughts, all vile and lusting, all due to the bare sight of him. that didn't go unnoticed - tanner, as the aspiring master of knowing human reactions, realized she was captivated with him as much as she was with her. the syringe in his other hand, placed behind his back, almost fell to the floor. sweet, so sweet; it seems the paradise's gates won't be opened for him only.

"i've planned some fun activities for the two of us. don't worry, honey, you won't die. yet," the murderer smiled at the woman, terrified and enamored, still gazing at him. oh, how absurdly sweet she was... a perfect mix. with his large, gentle movements he still was caressing her cheek, but slowly moved down to her neck, tracing circles and various shapes. the lady was stunned - and tanner will also be as stunned as the detective, if he regains his mind clarity. but that did not matter; not for now, at least. she's here, next to him, looking at him with lust behind the pretty, sweet facade...

suddenly, the lady felt a sting on her neck. she hissed, and tanner shushed her, continuing to inject the tranquilizer liquid through the syringe. "this will only hurt for a while, i assure you. i wouldn't let you suffer for more, that is - unless you want me to," his poor, horrid jokes made her think about the event briefly, before losing consciousness. this is awful - she is awful, for even considering this monster as a human being, someone that could even potentially become her crush. but the shame can wait, she thought, as the man dressed in white lab coat and red tie came closer to her face and hovered above her, waving his hand as her eyes became droopy and eventually closed.

"good girl," tanner told her, though she couldn't hear those affectionate words. the effects were visible shortly - as if it were not for her perpetrator and his strong, muscular hands she would surely fall down, hitting herself and creating a possible injury. not today, tanner thought, not happening ever. why should she injure herself if the feared master of terror was always for her disposal? but even he wouldn't cut her too deep. the precious flesh of hers shall not be tainted with foolish, mortal-only limited bruises.

having his prized lady in his arms, he spared a few seconds more to admire her unconscious body. not like this was the first time he's seen it - this time was different, though, as he never actually held her like this. tanner closed his eyes swiftly, took a small, but deep breath and contemplated what to do next. it would be a shame to waste the precious liquid he just injected, though it was as precious as she was.

tanner knew her home well, sneaking inside when she wasn't home, and he was about to exploit this knowledge, just as he was about to exploit the sweet, sweet detective he oh-so-adored. holding her as softly as he could, but firm, he moved in the direction of her bedroom, clearly having some sort of a more detailed plan now. after entering, he put her still unconscious body on the big, fluffy bed and then went back to the living room to turn off the lights. should add some more vibes, tanner thought, grinning from ear to ear, as if it was his first time feeling happiness.

awakening from her slumber, she felt as if her wrists were restrained. and soon, she would learn her assumption was correct - although, it wasn't rope or anything extreme as she feared, no.. it was a fine, soft material, silk probably. sitting nice and tight on her skin. in her circumstances, getting tied up was the least she could worry about, and soon, she would find out; as the man's figure hovered over her body, multiple terrifying scenarios flashed her poor mind yet again. but was it surprising? no, it was expected even. her eyes became glassy, as if she'd cry in a second, at which tanner just... cooed. "oh, what's this now? i told you already, i won't let you suffer by my hand unless you want it," tanner replied, bringing his hand to her cheek and gently caressing her already tear-stained flawless skin.

the word gentle did not sit right with him, obviously. his actions were confusing to the extreme; but she wouldn't refuse anything the man would offer. not like she'd even be able to - but he made her think she has a choice and whatever happens next is up to her. what a cruel illusion - one of freedom and safety, that he won't take anything she doesn't want him to. in his mind, she was already his. equal to him, even, though he wouldn't like to see her running around with some sedatives, tranquilizing random people on the street like he does on some nights.

tanner did not retreat his hand, seeing his darling still conflicted but not showing any signs of reluctance. if anything, she was very compliant, and so he shall make sure she's rewarded for her obedience. "could you.. um.. untie me?" she asked, earning yet another one of tanner's smiles. what a silly girl, he thought, asking questions like this. but do whatever she wants him to do, he shall.

"no thrashing and squirming, okay? and i'll give you a piece of freedom," the man said, to which she nodded. she wouldn't want to cross him, never. bringing her arms closer, he slowly undid the bindings on her wrists, brushing his lips softly on the soft flesh of hers. it was somehow... intimate. the way he presented himself to her; she knew he's dangerous. one wrong move or word could probably get her killed, and yet - the way he is now with her speaks a whole different story. one couldn't just see him as a psychotic, sadistic murderer; not when his actions were those of a lover, not a killer. thinking about him in this way was surely a sin. the woman's train of thought, however, was rudely interrupted.

"stop thinking so much," he murmured against her ear. "no point in being so worried. i came here to do what i wanted for a long, long time, you know?" tanner started delicately biting the skin on her ear, chuckling a bit at his own words. "tonight, you shall become rightfully mine. i was thinking of claiming you in a different scenario but i just can't keep myself away from you, sweet girl." her breath hitched, in fear or excitement - she did not know. the anticipation, his face being so close to her own; she was surely about to go insane after tonight. and as tanner buried his face in her neck, she started trying to regain at least part of her mind's long gone clarity.

he's a murderer. a terrible person. he's creating hell on earth. she knows he is awful and she should scream in terror, but her fleshy, earthly desires are clouding her judgement a tad too much. up to this moment, she knew who he is - a killer. his sly antics tonight made her forget about his cruelty, but she shall see him as a criminal, a murderer yet again - he's going to kill her all the same, the difference will be the weapon of choice. he will stab her relentlessly all the same, but not with any blade or syringe. cursing her coveting mind, she brushed all concerns aside and let him have his way with her.

she's going to let him ruin her, deprave her - and she will enjoy every second of it.

[wsdanon]

Heyo! I would love to hear about your new au if you'd like to talk about it? I hope everything goes well and alright with what you described <3

hi \o/ just quickly it might not even happen but if it does I will be okay all up it will just be a bit shit for a little bit

onto the au: I’ve been inspired by some art pieces I’ve seen with the basics—vampire!pac/vampire hunter!fit. I won’t go too into the plot in case I do end up writing it (or even just sections of it to post as wips) but here we go I’ll put it under a cut

i think the big thing to me is that fit is a vampire hunter because it pays well. it’s not because he hates them or has a grudge against them or wants to protect people or anything. maybe he enjoys the fight a little but it’s mostly about the money. also maybe not when he first started but by the time the au starts he has ramon so you know he needs to provide for ramon!

i don’t really have anything against “guy who hates vampires and kills them learns not to hate vampires by falling in love with one” stories but it’s not something I’m particularly interested in writing so the motivation of money (specifically money for ramon) is important to me and I think fits fit’s (lol) character better anyway

pac and mike are vampires who were turned by cellbit ages ago when they were escaping from prison together. I like to think through the whole losing his leg thing pac got turned somehow and then mike got cellbit to turn him too so he wouldn’t have to be without pac/pac wouldn’t have to be without him. (Sidenote: I think pac is kind of upset he couldn’t turn mike but mike was panicking a little so… cellbit)

at the time of the au they all live together with felps who is like… the “human” they all feed from. he’s their special little guy and boyfriend (fuga four are all in an established polycule by this point to me) felps is a saint in this au \o/ but it doesn’t really effect those three* it mostly just means he can heal pretty fast/regenerate blood pretty fast so they don’t have to go feed from the townsfolk. they used to though! especially cellbit. but it just ended up being way too much negative attention and they figured out they could feed from felps fine so they decided to stick with that. Richarlyson is also with them \o/

(*there’s probably some way I can fill in the plot hole of vampires being repelled by holy things but still able to feed from a saint but I haven’t figured that out yet. Right now I would say it’s probably because he’s not a proper saint in my headcanons)

also this will probably be exposition if I write it at all so I’ll mention it here: but the thing that kicks off the plot is felps is kidnapped for a month so they have to go feed on townspeople again and that prompts someone to hire a vampire hunter aka fit

the dynamic between fit and Pac here is very much onesided enemies to lovers as in: fit is very insistent to himself that he’s just here to do his job. pac is certain they are living out an enemies to lovers plotline and is having fun flirting with someone who’s trying to kill him because it’s pac so of course he is. and with how fit keeps reacting to his flirting it just confirms it in his mind that this is the path they’re on. pac is right anyway it definitely is enemies to lovers and despite the attempts at professionalism fit is very much falling for Pac

i think from here on it gets into more plot stuff so I’ll leave it here for now \o/ thank you for the ask!

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

(⭐fanfic writers' commentary)

@plutosoda hi

Ooh, time to reread my old writing, huh? Always a fun trip, especially given I'd totally forgotten like half of it including that repetition trick you'd mentioned…

fair warning, i only got like 3 asks for this thing so I'm gonna commentate on pretty much the entire fic here. This post never ends.

Here's an entire director's commentary on All-Nighter! Enjoy!

"The covers were warm… But at least it'd get something done before passing out again."

I'm still fond of this intro. I'm terrible with being succinct, but this is somewhere where my rambling writing style really works; this section is written from experience of many a 'stayed up too anxious now you can't sleep' nights, and someone who has read a lot of the techniques to fix that problem, then didn't (ADHD lol). That is in fact what my internal monologue tends to be like at night - a mix between recalling every single way you've ever learnt to pass out, worrying about what happens tomorrow, 'why is life like that. what did i do,' and just a pinch of 3am self loathing.

I never really thought of it until an AO3 commenter pointed it out, but it was a fairly natural way of worldbuilding/expositing/characterisation all in one go. Establish the premise of the fic, Robot only bothering to process things when it's on the brink of exhaustion, the way it's kinda obsessed with productivity and efficiency and self-improvement.

I'm proud of it!

Also I like to think Lady Luck only does the weird scheduling thing for Robot. She'd be the type of person to try and make the Dungeons a personalised hell for everybody.

“Hey, could I get a coffee, do you think? …I’ve been sleeping so badly down here.”

I'm quite happy with the intro to the next bit too. My goal going into most fanworks (still) is to emulate what drew me to the original story. In this case, that's Dicey's tone and dialogue, with a bit more direct focus on the characterisation of everyone. So this is sort of a meta plot device that signals all that to the reader. I love how efficient that is. also I just like throwbacks and references okay

"The canteen was a dense jumble of kichen counters…"

I could've been a little faster with this scene and Robot subsequently making the coffee. One of my weaknesses as a writer is that I hallucinate some of the scenes in my head, and try to write down everything in that instead of just drawing a comic (cough that one unpublished Ninjago fic). I'm a sucker for describing scenery for days on end.

That said, I'm really glad I got the vibe of 'light-blue-grey' morning over to you in your fanart. It was exactly what I was imagining as I was writing this.

"Pre-ground. …But this was just evil."

I think I'm funny. Anxiety cube can put up with a lot, but terrible coffee isn't it.

"They taste horrible compared to freshly ground beans. It’s not worth the convenience."

haha. because you see. that's its heart's desire *gets turned into a dice*

"Pouring a generous portion for its new friend, Robot masked its complaints with a long sigh." "…But thanks to the innovations of modern day life-” An overhead swig downed half the mug."

A commenter pointed out that some of my lines have really good flow in them between actions and characterisation. I didn't notice that until then, but I'm inclined to agree. Some of these drive in the point really well.

"At least its fellow patron was enjoying themselves – not even flinching at the concoction and savouring the coffee raw. It was tempted to start a commentary on how dark roasts were overrated, but soon became a little more concerned about them drinking through the 100 centigrade burns. This place had quite the collection of creatures, it seemed."

I like to think Robot's a little snobby about the things it enjoys. I like to think Lady Luck tries to throw people off as much as possible.

"So, how’s the self-improvement going?" they started. "I only want top quality minions in my dungeons."

Very fun fact is that I was worried about spoiling the twist in this fic because of this line being so blatant, but I wanted to put it in anyway because it's a good character-establishing moment, and a good… re-interpretation of the line in another context? I love recontextualising canon in a slightly different way that still works for the characters in question. it's so fun

Anyways. Turns out I didn't need to worry about that because at least one reader totally missed this too so got hit with the full twist anyways. Isn't writing great?

"So, what’s keeping you up this late?” they asked. “Nightmares? A looming sense of regret and existential dread? Unfinished essays due tomorrow morning?"

essays due tomorrow morning. haha so true. i'm glad I don't take much coursework nowadays.

"You know, as useless as it looks, sleep’s rather important for you folks. It’s how you deal with all the terrible things that happen during the day, since your brain can just wipe the slate clean and try again. But funnily enough, it’s always the first thing that’s left behind whenever someone wants to better themself." "Life’s painful enough as it is. Why not change things up if your current routines aren’t working?" "Nobody ever plays the cards they’re dealt perfectly, dear… Time always slips you by when you’re not paying attention. And nobody ever knows what’s coming next. You’ve just got to learn when to raise and fold them." "Well, part of being human is never being a hundred-and-one percent efficient. If you folks still count yourself as that. I’d apologise but I remember you were quite nonchalant about your little transformation anyways."

One of the main points of this fic was that while Lady Luck is blatantly on the offensive and absolutely insulting Robot to its core, she's not technically… wrong?

It's not bad advice. Lady Luck, in-game, seems very perceptive of the various insecurities mortals go through. And I like to think she does start this conversation just for genuine fun, to pick someone apart. See if they bounce back against it or just crumble. It's just a bonus that the recipient finds it harder to refute her offers afterwards.

"It might!" it snapped back, getting them to at least try and contain their mockery under a silent, wavering smirk. "You know what? I think it will be, I can feel it!"

Robot sort of does both. It's definitely very very anxious. But it's stubborn. I really like that about its character: how there's a contrast between its organised and disorganised sides? How robots are usually associated with hard numbers and calculations, but Robot's mechanic is blackjack. also it's SO autism/adhd coded. listen. in this

I don't know if there's a trope to call either of these, but they're my favourite things about both characters, and they're surprisingly introspective for a game so short on story. (I will write more about that in another post. lol).

It's a bit indulgent in how long it goes on in some areas, but eh. It works for the fic's pacing.

"The figure leaned forward to highlight its obvious obliviousness…" "I thought you were supposed to be the overly organisational optimist."

I love alliteration. yippee!

"A gentle chuckle filled the air, restrained from its usual projecting echo. "You wound me, Robot. Games are always more fun when your players at least get the chance to try and fight back."

I like to think Lady Luck's main motivation is entertainment. Which mostly involves watching people suffer. But I think it's in the spirit of luck to have it so that someone's downfall was their choice. Determinism versus free will and whatever.

The chance that somebody could escape makes things spicier. And makes it sting all the more for all those that didn't. Hooray!!

Also given Lady Luck's usual loud persona, I planned (plan) on giving her quite a few more subtle but equally threatening moments in this series. It's a thing that wouldn't really work well in the actual game, but it does in a slower medium like writing, and I fucking love that trope.

"Statistically unlikely, but I’ll humour it," she commented to an invisible aside."

You should picture this scene as her directly staring at you through the fourth wall. Like in a sitcom.

"But it’s not so bad, being a minion… I’ve heard that’s about as stable as a job as you can get these days." "…though surprisingly she was not the worst boss it had had to deal with."

I always thought this line, used on Thief in-game, would've been an absolute killer on Robot. The job market is pretty fucking shit these days under capitalism and you would be lying if you said there aren't at least some parts of the Dungeons that seem better work-wise. Inclusivity, stable employment, accommodation.

Yeah, you have no freedom, but that's also the goal of capitalism up here as well. At least in Dicey it's ridculous and ironic. And you'd get to use your degree in maths/statistics/acounting etc to its full extent! Can you fucking imagine the paperwork for a game-show/dungeon hybrid business.

"But then again, I think you’re plenty used to the grind."

I believe this was an unintentional-turned-intentional coffee pun. Boooooo

"Funny how they think that’ll discourage anybody. …Folks hear that the house always wins and immediately think they’ll be the exception."

She would be the one to know that. This was intended as a followup to Robot's entire argument before. I'm very happy that at least one person picked up on that :D

"So whatever you pick, it'll be a decision from Robot alone, no matter what your mind or body drags you into afterward.”

I believe this was also supposed to be a callback, but the wording got changed slightly. I think it was the "It feels like my mind and body won’t stop working against me" bit.

"Normally, Robot would’ve stayed to socialise and make new friends, and in all likelihood, skipping breakfast would leave it starving later on in the day. But right now, it needed some time to itself: to think and recover and remember where it was going with this."

This was another callback (that actually made it into the story). Robot immediately making another bad decision after the first, with the exact same words echoing it coming.

"Just another day in the dungeons. It could handle this."

I wanted the ending to be very short and open-ended, in that it was up to you to interpret whether Robot took the offer or not, and when. But regardless I wanted it to be like a regular intro to an episode, but with the hint something definitely fucking changed that the audience can only speculate on.

…oof. 80 minutes on this essay. My poor neck. I think that's it for now, though.

Overall I'm really happy with this piece - hence why it's one of the few things I actually put online. It's three years old, and I could've fixed the flow in some bits (there's one part where I think Robot answers a different question than was asked).

But I achieved pretty much everything I wanted to say in this piece of fanwork, it pushed me to think about characterisation a lot and my writing and editing techniques. There's a lot of neat little things I put into it, and it really got me to grips with what I liked about my inspiration in the first place.

I think that's an exercise worth trying for every fan-work creator. Stretches you brain. Almost lets you re-experience what you loved about a thing years later. Points you towards your possible future diagnoses. It's a fun time!

[kithtaehyung]

What happens if you're stuck on writing? Because I always have a lot of scenarios for the middle and sometimes ending to a story, but I've always been stuck with the openings and introductions to any stories though. And I have the feeling my work is always too cliche for people to enjoy, which I know is stupid, but I just keep feeling that way about my work. Apparently my mindset is still fickle about my work again.

hey! oh trust me, i know exactly what this feels like.. so yeah. it's hard because you have this mental block that stops you from even working on something. but i've pulled myself out of this mindset so i know you can, too.

introduce a new setting, or switch up character interactions. try imagining your characters interact with different environments and see if that sparks an idea you can run with.

set the tone. does your story start slow? imagine a "camera pan" showing the overall setting and describe it. does it start with a bang? imagine your reader thrown right into the action and add short, punchy sentences and beats.

goldilocks exposition. unless your fic truly needs a large batch of exposition right from the jump, don't give the reader too much information in one go. on the other hand, try not to give them so little that nothing ends up making sense. slowly pan it out and let them take in information as the characters do, or give them world info with no context at first and let them think/wonder about what you're talking about.

start in the middle. open up with the middle of the story and then use flashbacks or bleed into memories after introducing an intriguing middle sequence.

hopefully some or any of these work! your work is your work, so have fun with it. if it's cliche, then it's cliche! doesn't mean no one is gonna like it. there are way too many readers out there for you to not do something just because "the majority" won't vibe with it. do you!

[doyouevenshipbr0]

i just finished live action avatar the last airbender. buckle up. obv spoilers incoming.

~

honestly just gonna list the good and the bad and give a number rating at the end. this will be long. also THIS IS JUST MY OPINION!!!! nothing i say is right or wrong. dont hurt me.

the good

sokka (ik this is controversial bc of his actor okokokok im js purely from a performance standpoint he ate)

zuko (absolutely devoured)

fight scenes!!!! obv not as good as the animated (we knew this) but i still enjoyed

zhao!!!!!! do not sleep on him he killed this!!

KIYOSHI!!! ARE U KIDDINGGG

overall loved the focus on avatars other than roku

suki/suki and sokka

attack on the air nomads… ik it was unnecessary and a little hard to watch but still was v interesting

azulaaaaa and the fact that we see her this season. LOVE this addition. also the way they added her was veryyyyy well done. didnt feel forced.

bumi/how they handled the bumi arc in general. some parts i actually like better than the og. like how aang knew he was bumi right away. makes way more sense to me.

sokka and katara has some very sweet and genuine moments

aang and gyatso reunion awwww

omg. the “twist” with the 41st division that zuko accidentally saved becoming his crew. the bestttttt change that they made. i loved this. something so small but felt SO impactful.

yue/sokka and yue. this is a BIG one bc i think the original show really lacks with how they wrote yue and especially her relationship with sokka. i think it was a lot better here.

when zhao admits at the end he was working w azula and that ozai was just using zuko to motivate azula. omg. that was such a cool thing they added

and now. the bad.

aang. JDHSKSJDJ SORRYYYY dont care! he got better as the show went on. overall acting wasnt great and the writing for him definitely did not help

katara OOPSIES HEHEHE sorry but again same thing. kind of a dull performance. where is her PASSION?!?! wanted to like her so bad bc katara is my girl and this girl was giving katara on paper but the performance was just kinda bleh. didnt hate but DEFINITELY did not love.

costumes. dying on this hill i do not care. it was giving spirit of halloween. and some of these wigs…. yue’s wig? azula’s fuck ass pieces hanging out? HOW MAI AND TY LEE LOOKED IN GENERAL?! ouch

^in general mai and ty lee did not need to be here at ALLLLL. def shouldve waited till s2 for their appearances.

where is the silliness? where is the humor? hardly tried to embody the fun spirit of the original and when it did it failed miserably.

gran gran saying the thing. that’s katara’s thing.

too much exposition dumping.

first ep was by far the worst imo. how sokka and katara came across/met aang? WOW what a let down holy shit.

they should’ve kept it as aang running away from the southern air temple. not that he went for a late night drive with appa. dont care that this is a small thing. it is a HUGE part of aang’s character.

idk how to word this one and i think ppl would disagree anyways. but they are making iroh too obviously “good”. ykw i mean? when we first meet him, we know he’s not like the rest of the fire nation but we still don’t truly know where his morals lie. this show made it too obvious too soon.

why did katara never train w pakku?? that makes 0 sense. i understand she was mostly self taught throughout s1. but the whole thing was that: yes, katara was good before pakku, but when she finally did get a master, she became EXPONENTIALLY better and really came into her own. i am not buying that she becomes the master katara we know and love without learning from pakku. so unrealistic. when zuko says “u found a master” and she said “yes ur looking at her”. oh girlboss feminism u are going to HELL!

would like to take a moment to say^^^ i am a feminist ok. do nottttt get it twisted. but girlboss feminism is brainrot.

aang. did not bend. a single drop of water. are u fucking KIDDING ME? that was nuts.

really felt like if u did not watch the original series, this show would feel SO all over the place and u would have so many “wtf is happening” moments. the whole omashu shit was kind offfffff a mess. i see where they were going and why they were doing that but in hindsight after the fact i was like… if i knew nothing ab this show that would have been the most confusing clusterfuck.

and i think my biggest/most general complaint that i already talked about that i will briefly touch on: trying to do too much. why are we putting in characters and plot points that do not come till seasons 2-3 and are completely unnecessary now (secret tunnel, wan shi tong, swamp-kinda episode, etc.)

final thoughts?

it was enjoyable. i cannot deny that. landscapes were gorgeous. fights were well choreographed and looked GOOD. some changes were genuinely made for the better, and even changes that i do not necessarily think were better, i could respect the creativity of some changes and understood why they were there. but overall, as most live action remakes go, this was a flat portrayal of one of the greatest pieces of fiction of all time that suffered from some overly ambitious ideas and dull writing with little to no sense of whimsy. while some performances exceeded expectations, others that were crucial to the integrity of this show really disappointed me.

overall: 6.6/10. this number is completely subject to change.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: “Droids In Distress”

Wacky droid hijinks and nostalgia abound, let’s get into it.

Now, this is an episode that for a different show would have been used as the pilot.  It’s got all the earmarks of a weekly serial testing out its tone and character dynamics, while acting with confidence like those are already established.

Note that this isn’t a bad thing.  It reminds me most of Teen Titans’s early Season One, there’s a certain kind of charm and innocence and an earnest attempt at convincing you, “Don’t worry, this will be a FUN show! :D”

Frankly starting off lighter eases you better into the world and characters so when things do get more serious and dramatic later you’re more invested because you’ve had more time to get endeared to the characters.

See also, Star Trek: Lower Decks, which had the audacity to end its Season Two on a cliffhanger, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SILLY COMFORT SHOW, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE STAKES!

Anyway we open rather appropriately In Media Res with the notes of the TIE Fighter Attack track from A New Hope, which auditorily puts us right into that OT headspace. :)

Once again the tight writing very quickly establishes the situation: The Ghost is on the run from the Empire, in need of cash flow and supplies, they have to occasionally run weapons for someone shady, Ezra is Force Sensitive, and--perhaps most importantly for the later story arc--Kanan has been avoiding training him.

Boy I miss concise exposition like this.  So much story is already set up in some densely-worded dialogue.  (Not just Kanan’s reluctance to teach Ezra but also Zeb’s misgivings with working for Vizago given the uncertain nature of the weapons he deals in.)

Also don’t think I missed Ezra being most concerned with the fact that they are running out of food.

RIGHT SO I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW GIDDY I WAS THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS BECAUSE ICKLE MINI TARI LOVED THE STAR TOURS RIDE AT DISNEYWORLD.  Seriously it was one of my top favorites.  Never rode the updated version (haven’t been back to DW in years) but the classic version was iconic for me.

And this is a cameo/Easter Egg that actually works in context because you don’t need to know anything about this droid pilot, he works organically in the story as he is without any background knowledge required.

Unlike many of the other cameos we could name in certain other Star Wars shows *COUGH*.

Threepio and Artoo on the flipside... Okay, I’m not quite sure how to articulate that it still works better than in aforementioned other shows but it does.  Again Imma chalk it up to, they just fit more organically into the plot and around these characters and also advance the bigger plot by introducing a thread that suggests the crew is going to be connected to the larger Rebellion, which pays off this Season Finale... instead of being a sideshow diversion disconnected from the main characters that may or may not make another appearance down the line sometime.  Maybe.

Side note of appreciation for Chopper gleefully taking right to his role of Public Nuisance Annoying Everyone (But Especially Ezra).  I don’t think there was much acting involved for either of them lol.

XD

Still love how bouncy and dynamic the character animation was these early episodes.

Has that fun kid-friendly feel that lures you into a false sense of security lol.

Our first hint at Sabine’s backstory, cleverly hidden as part of her cover story.

I kinda like that Garel is close enough to Lothal that a very small shuttle is able to just ferry people back and forth in like twenty minutes.

Lol Zeb whapping Sabine because she’s laying it on too much.

One of the nice things about having low-stakes plots in the beginning is it allows room for lovely little breathing scenes like this one with Ezra leaping across the rooftops.  It’s not plot necessary, we could have easily just cut to him arriving at the other hanger, but it’s just... pleasant.

There’s some nice mood music (a very slowed down mellow Main Titles theme), some very mild action, and we feel a satisfied little thrill along with Ezra seeing just what he’s capable of already just knowing that he’s Force Sensitive.  This is the first time he’s consciously tapped into the Force and it’s just a little bit exciting.

Just look at his face gkjhgkjh I’m so proud of him and all he did was some parkour.

Subtle animation detail appreciation: Zeb visibly shudders backing away from the crates.

I love Threepio throwing some indignant shade Sabine’s way with his “[...] if she is an amateur.” line.

We know Zeb is the muscle  of the group, that’s already established, but it’s still obvious in the voice acting and Zeb’s intense tossing of the Stormtroopers that he’s more agitated than normal.

Threepio being oblivious and fussy as per usual.

Please enjoy the Fridge Horror of knowing that the Empire was planning to mass-produce T7 ion disruptors and probably not for their starship-crippling properties. :)

Ezra immediately backing off the hostility once he knows why Zeb’s upset. <333  He’s such an empath I love him.

See this is why I don’t understand people who hate Ezra.  Was he a little bratty this episode?  Sure, but also see how he lets that drop out of compassion once he understands the situation.

Also Ahsoka came onto the stage waaaaaaaaay brattier and a smug know-it-all to boot, just admit y’all hate the kid-appeal characters and refuse to let them be stupid and dumb in order to have some character growth.

Hera’s frustration when she hears that Kanan hasn’t been training Ezra. <333

Lol and love how there’s an immediate follow-up in the next scene.  I want to see the beginning of that conversation.

Pryce gets name-dropped here for the first time.  Predictably Threepio is making a muck of things.  See, this is why no one tells you anything or trusts you with the mission Threepio.

Ezra has clearly dealt with underworld figures like Vizago before lol.

I do wonder if all of this is just a massive Batman Gambit by Artoo, because he seems to be completely unfazed by anything that’s happening.

The AT-DPs get quite a bit of focus in this series and I think their ubiquitous presence in the first season preps us mentally for the heavy upgrade that is the AT-ATs.

Love this shot tracking Hera as she shoots at the AT-DP, very frenetic with the blocking and the camera movements.

The duel between Kallus and Zeb is honestly better than some of the lightsaber fights don’t @ me you know it’s true.

This music cue when they launch the disruptors is a unique one, particular to only this moment I think, but I like it.

Aaaaaaand the first of many times Kallus gets yeeted with the Force.  Lol.

See Sequel Trilogy, this is the general powerset of someone who only just learned they were Force Sensitive and hasn’t had any training. /salt

Kanan seems very surprised and amazed by what Ezra can already do without any formal guidance.  This’ll play into his insecurities later, his whole thing about how Ezra’s powers are growing faster than he can teach.

I think it’s safe to assume Ezra had a lot of latent natural talent that he’d been unconsciously using this whole time that just needed a tiny push to begin manifesting in earnest.

Again, though, Sequel Trilogy, all we unlock is basic shit like Force Sense, Force Jump, and Force Push.

Not surprising Kanan went to fetch Zeb, he’s about the only one even close to Zeb’s height lol.

Kanan looks so proud of Ezra, aww.

More lovely work with the subtle expressions; Kanan’s smile fades and his eyes drop a bit.  Like he realizes, “Oh boy, now I gotta face all my inadequacies and problems.”  Love it.  Love that it’s episode two and we’ve already established so many of the upcoming character arcs.

Hi Bail!

Luke’s theme closing us out once again, apropos given where we are and who we’re with.

For our first “official” non-pilot episode, this is a solid entry.  As I said, establishes a whole bunch about the characters and their relationship dynamics and upcoming arcs and plot points.  It’s also very fun, sets the general early tone of “Adventure and excitement but not too much... yet.” and the animation continues to impress in small ways, mostly the dynamic shot choices, camera angles and movements and the subtlety of emotion displayed on faces.

Coming back to this one always just leaves me with a warm feeling like, “Aahhh yes, back when everything was innocent.”  It definitely plays up the nostalgic feeling of the OT, which was always one of Rebels’ strengths as a show.

Next time, one of the many “filler” episodes that come back in an important and unexpected way in the finale.  You’d think, given the number of Avatar: The Last Airbender alums on the project, fandom would know better than to discount the seemingly light-hearted low-stakes disconnected episodes. XD

[immatalk]

THE ACOLYTE

finally finished the acolyte. it was decent, but a lot of my initial criticisms remain.

it’s a great show, if solely taking in costuming, effects, and action; story-wise, it’s adequate. and only just. because the storytelling potential far exceeds the reality of the series. and sure, some of those deficiencies are because it’s a show borne from a familiar, giant property that is beholden to legacy, and overly specific expectations regarding how that legacy will continue. but a lot of its shortcomings are also series specific. namely, the extremely lacklustre writing that withered and stalled so much, that the strings were beyond obvious and often pulled me out of the story. definitely made me wonder just how much studio interference was happening behind the scenes. because some of what aired was genuinely baffling. never terrible or unsalvageable, but certainly subpar. given the premise, this series should’ve been witty, gritty, unnerving, and affecting. not to mention fun! it’s a show that centres a fascinating mystery, with deeply connected yet diametrically opposite twins who only know half the story and have each been manipulated into fulfilling someone else’s ideas. their mothers are hot as fuck ever powerful leaders of an extremely compelling lesbian* witch cult! there’s a wookie jedi! the universe is expansive and odd and cool! and yet. it could all be chalked up to a whole lot of cyclical situations and stunted motion that, for all it’s heavy handed motions, did very little to convince me not only of the destination, but also the journey.

and that lacklustre feel & execution is completely on the writing. the characters are well acted, vibrant, fun, and compelling. but even the best acting can’t elevate a weak script. and because a lot of the writing was so underwhelming and flat, characters and stories that should’ve been gripping and fascinating, were instead limp, cliche, and sometimes silly in a way that grated. and this isn’t me not liking a joke or some cool aliens; i love a silly goofy time!

my issue is with the stilted dialogue, excessive exposition, and overly telegraphed motivations. i know this show will reach a broad audience, but ensuring that kids will understand your character’s actions and motivations is one thing. stiff, self conscious, overly repetitive writing is another. way too much telling and not enough showing and that’s saying something for a show where 2 out of 8 episodes are complete flashbacks, but it’s the truth. half the maneuvering should’ve been edited out or into something sleeker. yes, this show was under a particularly nasty, unfair spotlight and im super impressed that creator leslye headland still managed so make so much of it her own, despite all the pressure. that being said, there was a LOT of unnecessary over explaining and blatant manufacturing that ended up undermining the execution of what should have been a cool new entry into the sw canon.

also unfortunate, was how obvious it was that the writing was far more concerned with manufactured moments of shock and slight of hand, rather than organic and convincing storytelling. a strange case of wanting to conceal, yet spelling out even the smallest details because they don’t trust the audience. again, idk what was going on behind the scenes wrt to the studio, but looking at writing credits, it’s clear that headland is the weakest link. the episodes she co/soley wrote were the most scattered, obvious, and bland, with dialogue that was so transparent it bordered on juvenile. in contrast, the episodes others wrote, were more compelling, cohesive, and complex. not sure what’s going on there, because with my minor googling it’s clear she’s a fan. maybe someone needs to get ole girl into a writing workshop? show-running is difficult and writing even more so—ask shonda rhimes!—but something definitely needs to be done. because her ideas are incredible; it’s the storytelling that loses me.

but even with all its issues, this show is a worthwhile watch. if only for the action and performances. everyone was doing their thing and the sets and costuming were wonderful. i also loved that i could actually SEE what was happening on my screen. quite literally one of the bright spots of the series. unlike so many current shows that seem to be lit with fairy lights and imagination, there was no foolish lighting here.

i also appreciated that i was able to come into this show with no prior knowledge of star wars and mostly get it. there’s something to be said for a series that doesn’t over complicate a first time watcher’s entry into its universe.

but right now, it’s a show that’s operating at a 6. and the potential is there. with tighter writing, slicker pacing, and more finesse overall, it’s an easy 10.

*im aware that the creator said that the TWO MOTHERS who were very AFFECTIONATE and RAISING CHILDREN weren’t meant to be seen as a couple but LOL. that take is very much disregarded in my house. bc idgaf what she meant. i have eyes and ears and am also not stupid. <3

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 1 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out 3,000 words wasn't enough.

I cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I needed to get some feelings out. Also it's in two parts because apparently Tumblr has a maximum character count and I hit it.

Overture

• Firstly, female conductor, we love to see it

• I love overtures and entr'actes and this show's is so good

• Shoutout to the orchestra

• I have never experienced a bad Broadway orchestra but still doesn't mean they do not deserve serious praise

• Does just the instrumental of Camelot make me very emotional and think about fundamental human goodness?

• Yes, this show did its job

• The end of the If Ever I Should Leave You part is just permanantly in my brain as the part during bows where they point to the orchestra

• Whatever the music that plays as everyone starts walking onstage is epic

• The vibe is set and I'm ready

Act 1 Scene 1: A hilltop near the castle at Camelot

• I've said it once and I'll say it one thousand times, I am obsessed with the way they've used the space in this show

• I love that they can walk up the back of the stage, I love that they have the stairs in front, I love that they've got so many exit and entrance points

• Sorry to the actors who probably had to do a lot of running around but it was fun for me

• As much as I like spectacle, I don't inherently prefer it over this kind of more minimalist thing

• But I do feel like they did a good job at conveying scale and drama even though the set is extremely minimal

• "I have the exact same amount of information that you do" just immediately starts the show off on the right foot

• This is a new take and I was here for it instantly

• And such a funny way to deliver a ton of exposition, this will be the first of what will become the prevailing theme of my rambling which is I adore Sorkin's writing beyond measure

• Merlyn's delivery drenched in sarcasm for every line is perfect and we clearly see where Arthur gets it from

• Specifically "do you know what calamity means?"

• But also "things in England are changing too fast"/"words that have never before been spoken"

• Establishing Sagramore in a funny way that becomes so serious by the end

• We jump right into the Sorkin dialouge rhythm and it feels so right

• There's the perfect amount of everyone overlapping each other and finishing the other characters' thoughts

• And also the jaunty music when most of the guards leave, like I don't exactly know why it sounds like that since it doesn't fit but I love it anyway

• I know it's part of at least the movie's score but like to me it's still strange, I've been calling it clown music in my head

• The difficulty finding the king exchange and also the pheasant hunting exchange are so funny and set the tone so well

• Can you see I'm attempting not the write out every line of dialouge?

• But also I love that we get this little build to Arthur to wonder what the hell is going on with this guy

• Because if you're me, you've come into this show with basically the association with JFK and that's it

• So I had no clue and was curious

• The knights have like mostly terrible points but Sagrimore's delivery of "snear all you like but five minutes ago we were at war with that girl's county and tomorrow I'll be swearing an oath to protect her with my life"

• He's not wrong

• The knights are so good, the actors are perfect

• Every bit of casting is inspired and those three are no exception

• "Arthur get the hell out of the tree"

• Again with no context, the tree really got me

• "Hiding, I'm obviously hiding" - I am instantly in, the delivery on this line is so funny

• Okay fine I was in from the way he said hello, also a hilarious delivery

• My roommate brought up immediately how effective it is not to have him do a British accent and how it again just makes Arthur relatable - genius

• Whatever voice he's doing is a perfect choice

• Also young Arthur is so much the right choice it's staggering to me that they ever did it any other way

• They thread the needle so perfectly of Arthur being young but not in a way where he's like an incompetent child

• Which I feel like is actually how some of the other versions with older actors still managed to come off

• But this Arthur is just young and trying

• "My mouth disconnects from my brain"/"I've witnessed that"

• As like a character note, I love that exchange but I also was worried this was gonna be what it usually is, which is a male character who cannot treat a woman like a human person

• But no, Arthur has absolutely no problem with that, his mouth only disconnects from his brain when he's trying to confess feelings and that is 1000% more endearing

• "Years of tutoring in philosophy and law, why didn't you ever teach me about love and marriage?"/"You're not marrying for love and there's nothing about it that can be taught."

• To which my roommate that I dragged to see this twice and who has just been forced to talk about this show with me, maintains that perhaps you could maybe convey that relationships are about communication

• That lesson might've helped just a bit

• "You're not marrying for love" like Merlyn is trying to warn Arthur and he sure did not listen

• "They should be reading" Arthur babe they literally can't, it's the Middle Ages

• Also the establishment of no magic is so deftly handled

• Arthur complaining that people think that dragons are real and you get exactly what this world is

• I love that I Wonder What the King is Doing tonight becomes his noble king music

• Also I just absolutety love any time anything has a recurring musical theme it just lights up some part of my brain every time

• The yelling of "he's scared" and all of the subsequent lyrics in that spot is again hilarious and just very good characterization

• Also the delivery of the slaying a dragon part whatever that singing accent is I love it

• Actually the way he sings all the parts where he's imagining what other people are saying

• The other characters have a lot of songs that are gorgeous and require some incredible vocals and songs with fun lyrics and fun performances but not at lot of them get to infuse this much personality and character into the songs through just the delivery

• Don't know if that's from the original or not but it's one of my favorite characters introductions I've seen in a bit

• From what I've seen this is definitely an escalation of previous versions and I adore it

• He's so annoyed, he hates this shit so much and he's so funny

• I mean also lots of credit to the lyrics because they are obviously very funny

• I love this song a lot

• Arthur's "shhhhit" when he realizes that he's managed to run into his future wife

• The multi-layered complication line, so quintessential Arthur

• The contrast between the gorgeous Julie Andrews channeling singing and Genny's brashness in her movement and dialouge

• Like obviously that's already in the lyrics but the book and direction just stretches it

• Everyone knew Phillipa Soo was going to be perfect and she is

• A lot of my strongest impressions are about Arthur

• Because I had no idea who the actor was and because in the limited amount of adaptations I'm familiar with of this whole story, Arthur is the bad guy or a good but extremely boring guy

• But I knew going in that I was gonna love Guenevere and Phillipa Soo even if I've never seen her on stage before

• So it was unsurprising

• Like my expectations were sky-high and she's so talented in every way and the writing for Genny is so good that she exceeded them anyway

• And she's so damn funny

• Obviously the whole rescued in the wood bit is already just a good joke and I'm honestly impressed with how funny the original songs are

• I am a sucker for the thing in stories where we know what's going to happen because they've been told so many times

• When they have a character say something the audience knows is foreshadowing

• "Cause a little war" is what I'm thinking of in this moment but there are tons and every time it's a hit with me

• The delivery of the clause one bit is perfect and her backing Arthur into falling on the bench and then just turning around and back to angelic singing

• The turnaround from the aggressiveness to the extremely soft and feminine singing is brilliant

• "The more knights slaughter each other, the fewer there are to slaughter the rest of us"

• The exchange about the dowry still being in the carriage

• Their deliveries are so funny

• They immediately bounce off of each other perfectly

• And Genny not even escaping with the dowry she's supposed to be using to buy her freedom, amazing

• "What is power uuuused for? That is a very interesting question."

• Genny just immediately knocking Arthur's socks off

• Trying to write out some of the word deliveries he does is so hard but there are a few that absolutely kill me

• They've known each other for five minutes and they're already having a debate

• "I've known kings, I'm daughter of a king so marrying a king doesn't have the same allure for me that it apparently has for you"

• She just speeds through those words at the end and it's great

• "They run to here" is another bit of hilarious delivery but I also love the contrast it sets up between Arthur trying to be kingly in a way that doesn't fit versus later when he does it his own way

• I could listen to them go back and forth saying why for ten minutes

• Genny's incredulousness when he says the weather

• I can't remember but I think she's walking away and then just turns to stare at him in absolute confusion

• Like he's so ridiculous that she can't help but engage

• I did a quick bit of intermission math and we know this takes place seven months before the Lusty Month of May which is obviously happening in May

• So Arthur is literally singing to Genny about how there's no winter until December while at best - assuming the one month later and six months later are rounded up - it is snowing at the absolute beginning of November

• More likely October

• No wonder Genny thinks he's full of shit

• His improv did not pan out

• This is a joke for me, thank you Aaron Sorkin

• Do love that canonically, Arthur is in fact singing the song Camelot - that he just made up in a panic - what a dork

• Genny's little interjections of skepticism are all so funny

• Also just instantly establishing her as someone you love

• She's perfect

• But my favorite is "my escape is time sensitive, do you understand that?"/Arthur still singing/"no he does not"

• These actors are both hilarious, the amount of stuff required of musical theater actors continues to blow my mind

• Like not only to do the whole singing, dancing, and acting thing but then you have to convey it to a whole theater but also not overact to the people up close and be able to do comedy and drama how

• I was in practically the back row up top and not a good view but extremely close (like seeing the actors spit close) on the side for the under 35 tickets and then also in very good seats and the performances by literally everyone never felt too much or not enough

• "Are there any other people in these woods you could recommend?"

• Also this moment which is the cutest thing you've ever heard

• Do I remember exactly what happened? No. But do I know it was adorable? Yes.

• "And we have poets in France"/"Oh yes of course... But do you?"/Genny angrily naming French poets/"Understood" and he's already singing again

• The entire performance of this song and especially getting her to sing along, so charming in the most annoying way

• But also she's sort of into it which is cute

• I do see on YouTube that there was a bit more to this French poets discussion which was probably right to cut but I am delighted to find literally anything new

• Sidebar

• I have been known to have issues with staying present when I watch things and not letting my mind start wandering. And one of the reasons I knew Camelot was good the first time was that I was totally engaged the whole show. But the last time, I did have the one moment where a thought popped into my brain during this song that completely threw me out of it

• And that thought was "this Barbie has taken a carriage ride to hell" after Genny says that line and like why brain?

• (For the record Genny and Arthur are both Barbies. They are everything. Lance is just Ken. Perfecting his body and soul is his beach. He is Kenough. Arthur and Genny have a terrible day every day. Lance only has a terrible day if Arthur and/or Genny look at him.)

• (I believe I have come up with a combination of words that have never been spoken before and perhaps a genuinely new opinion on a thousand year old legend)

• (In a bad way)

• Anyway

• The pure chaotic comedy of the knights finding Arthur and Genny freaking out is not something I can articulate but I adored so much

• Phillipa Soo is stealing the whole show in this one

• Does Genny come out of her hiding spot with her mouth wide open before she gets on the ground or am I misremembering?

• "We call that a sin of omission your majesty"

• With no remose "oh we call it that too"

• "Were you never going to tell me?"/"No I was going to get to it"/"When?"/"After I told you about the weather"

• Not a single bit of remose again

• I don't have anything to say, I just think the exchange is very funny

• I love not making Arthur any kind of royalty, he is truly just some guy

• Like I'm reading The Once and Future King and Arthur's lineage is so weirdly complicated and I just don't care, I like him as some guy

• "He discovered he didn't have his sword because I left it at... a house, that doesn't matter, that's my fault"

• Now that's a line that is funny on time one and fills you with dread afterwards

• The most exasperated "I was just going to borrow it for the day"

• Something about the delivery of "when I opened my eyes the square was filled with people shouting god save the king"

• Like Arthur never actually says out loud that he didn't want to be king but Genny gets it right away

• "I see you now, you're just a boy wearing a crown you never wanted sitting atop a throne two sizes too big"

• Just an absolute cutting response but Arthur doesn't take it that way at all, he's so earnest

• She reads him to filth but it doesn't even rattle him, he just takes it because it's true

• Gorgeous writing in what she says and his response

• "But provenance has put us both here, both of us highness and want it or not we are commanded to wear that crown and to grow into that throne"

• Chills, the delivery is outstanding

• We finally get King Arthur

• And Genny being convinced, all it took was one genuine moment and she's ready to engage

• Then Arthur again just taking so passionately about what he wants Camelot to be

• No wink, no sarcasm, no shame

• This show is unabashedly sincere and optimistic and I love it

• Genny falls in love with Arthur, I fall in love with Arthur, Genny falls in love with Camelot the idea, I fall in love with Camelot the show

• Everyone including the audience and Arthur were already in love with Genny for Phillipa Soo reasons so there's no moment for that one

• I feel like the trope-y thing would be to have Genny be a cynic here but no, she's just as much of an idealist as him

• She put up a little front of cynicism at the beginning but as soon as she gets the option of hope, she's choosing it instantly

• "Or you can stay. And together we may discover if power might be harnessed as a force of good"

• Like he's instantly treating her as a partner in this endeavor

• And I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight playing under it so beautifully and then the seamless musical transition back to Camelot is so perfect

• I am music stupid so I wish I had something to say about it but your songs have got to be tight to flow that way

• "I don't know if I'm worthy" also just a heartbreaker

• We don't really get to hear anything about Genny's life in France but she's clearly very opinionated and competent and I wonder if besides the whole wanting romance and adventure thing

• She also had an idea of what the life of a queen is like

• After all she's the daughter of one

• And she didn't imagine having this kind of role in actual ruling and doesn't know whether she can live up to this ideal that Arthur has set

• Like maybe she thought the only way she'd get to impact the world was knights killing each other over her or being the cause of a war, at least that's something

• But now she has a chance at more and she's grabbing it

• Genny singing the reprise is so beautiful thematically - it makes me a little teary just watching her instantly be like I see your dream and understand it and I want to be part of it but via some of the best singing maybe ever

• Such an amazing recontextualization from the original

• I've seen little clips of this reprise from 1961 and this one just feels warmer and more meaningful because it's about the ideals and not them confessing love at first sight

• And somehow more romantic

• They're instantly established as a team who share intellectual and philosophical similarities

• To so quickly convey that and make it believable

• It not only cements their relationship but makes them characters you root for

• And then the sounds of people coming in as soon as or maybe even before they get to finish singing together, like it's their world and they're falling for each other but there's no time, they're king and queen now and that will always supercede their relationship

• Also something about the moment when Arthur introduces her to the court just also really gets me

• "She's nice... some of the time"

• It's cute how smitten he is with her, all of her, immediately

• "Something about her makes me want to be a better king" (so Arthur is actually capable of expressing a romantic thought, don't get used it it)/"She's very attractive"/"Oh she is but it's not that"/"Arthur"/"Well it's not just that"

• I love the way they flip the speech Arthur gives Genny from the original about not feeling like a king until now meeting her

• But now that they've actually gotten to know each other a bit and it's after she's agreed to stay it actually makes sense here

• I do also love that even though he can't manage it to Genny's face, he does feel completely comfortable expressing his feelings about her to Merlyn

• The "oh she is" is so cute, he's so excited

• The music under his conversation with Merlyn before he starts just monologuing, very ominous

• I'm obsessed with it

• "We finally have peace" is another line delivery that I just need to sit and think about

• The joy of it, the relief

• Again the idea that Arthur has been a king at war this whole time

• Merlyn mentions, as part of a joke but still, almost as soon as we meet Arthur that he's fought armies

• He's not optimistic about the world because he hasn't seen conflict

• He's more determined because he sees what it does

• Channeling best man in all fiction Waymond Wang this is how I fight energy and that's very my shit

• Very much my shit might be a slight understatement

• It might not be surprising to learn that Arthur is my favorite thing about this show, they revamped this character so well

• So much of my life was spent in the media age of male anti-heroes and I love that we've returned to a point of male heroes

• Arthur idealistically talking about how they can finally start making Camelot for everyone and Merlyn walking off stage while the ensemble sings I think the part from the cut song and I assume some new stuff that's very Medieval church music

• So so good

• "What do I do next?" so eager and then just the emotional drop-off to his scared little boy when it becomes clear what's happening "Merlyn?"

• Stunning performance

• I think Arthur falls to his knees at some point but I'm already doubting

• The "what the hell do I do now?"

• Perfect scene ender

Act 1, Scene 2: The King's study - one month later

• The transition music between scenes is always good

• It's gonna be a struggle not to just quote this whole scene

• "Arthur, please call me Arthur" is so desperate like he has no one now, no actual human connections to him as a person instead of a king now that Merlyn is gone

• And then asking what she was called back home, he wants connection so badly

• And probably he still feels guilty for taking her from her home to be his wife

• "I was a royal princess, I didn't have friends"

• Well there is a reason they're both terrible at relationships

• I also love the way Phillipa Soo says Arthur in such a stilted way at the beginning of this scene and it becoming more natural every time she does it

• Genny telling him he's not attending to his duties with enthusiasm like she is not the least bit afraid to challenge the king a month in

• Love to see it

• Arthur's "I beg your pardon" when she asks about cortesans and the look he gives her

• "My father kept his women, his extra women, in their own wing of the palace. Where are yours? Might they cheer you up?"

• Genny the proactive problem solver

• Also something about the way she says extra women makes me laugh

• "I don't have extra women, I'm a married man. You were at my wedding" perhaps one of my favorite deliveries and lines in the whole show

• Genny's point of view in this scene is very interesting

• Like she does bring up that it's his legal right instead of dropping the whole thing and that's a choice

• Does she think he's lying about not having cortesans and reminding him that she is legally obligated to be cool with it so to be honest?

• Or is she just baffled by Arthur and his choices because this is a normal thing for a king to her?

• Or maybe since she already has feelings, she's trying to balance her own expectations to not get hurt?

• Possibilities

• "I'm aware of my legal right in that regard and I assure you I have no intention - oh my god - no intention of exercising it"

• Specifically the delivery of oh my god but the whole thing, he is so offended

• "And making the world into Camelot, are you abstaining from that too or will men at honor continue to plunder villages and take, rape, and kill whatever they please?"

• Genny

• Genny you are a hero

• She's so smart and fierce and unafraid to stand up to Arthur

• "I didn't make the world"/"You make a part of it"

• Arthur being so defensive and Genny calmly holding her ground

• She's taken to her new role so well

• And then Arthur admitting he doesn't know how to proceed without Merlyn, I love the way he builds trust in her in this scene

• "What would he say?"/"He'd say my god you're the slowest student anyone's ever tried to teach"/"Well I can convincingly say that"/"It's good that you mock me, kings should be mocked from time to time, it brings people pleasure. But for the record it's no fun for the king"

• Genny sounding so pleased with herself, Arthur getting out another sarcastic response

• Also what a lie, it is fun for him

• Mocking each other and public policy are their love languages

• "He once explained why but I got distracted because a white tailed eagle flew right by" with the most excitement and boyishness

• And then starting to go off on a tangent about eagles

• Never change Arthur

• I just think it's sweet the way she redirects him because she's fully committed herself to the idea of Camelot and her role in it

• "Pace freely at your own pace"

• Another brilliant line and delivery

• Channeling some Mary Poppins here

• Genny getting Arthur to think is so good

• "You had to pace and comcentrate to arrive at that?"/"It's hard to imagine why your country was willing to part with you"

• The proposition/resolved structure of this scene is very good

• And also that he starts with this pessimistic tantrum about human nature and Genny guides him back on track

• It's a great relationship moment but it also lets Arthur have some struggle and lets Genny be for Arthur what he was for her in the first scene

• Arthur collapsing on the floor and muttering "extra women" like wow he cannot handle being thought of as not a good person

• "That's it?"/"Wait"/"I wasn't going anywhere"

• Her being on the floor with him, gently pushing him

• He can't even maintain cynicism for more than a few minutes

• Them building the idea of the round table together, this is peak romance

• I can't just quote this scene in its entirety but every moment of it is a delight of them passing ideas back and forth

• "Isn't it also about the law?"/"It is"

• A standout delivery

• I love when they're working out the wordings like they make each other better

• "The law will be the stone upon which this rock - the rock upon - wait the church?"/"Have mercy"/"The law will be the rock upon which this church is built"/"Nothing can be more important"/"Nothing can be as important"

• This is what I love about Sorkin's writing

• The way that he has characters discuss ideas

• Like everything is an exciting discovery

• There's no singing in this scene but it has so much rhythm and is so compelling when in another writer's hands it would be boring and forgettable

• I broke out a chunk but it's so dense there are so many words and I love each one

• Genny counting down to his return, she already knows him so well

• Again I am trying not to type out every line

• I think they both yell for the page but I'm actually not sure, either way they are so excited and yelling something

• The new book has done so much to deepen their relationship, I adore these idealistic little nerds

• Arthur cannot contain himself

• His attempt to cool things down for himself by taking his hands off her face and then "you were very helpful, thank you"

• Smooth

• Convincing

• Definitely professional and platonic

• Truly do not know how Genny does not realize he's in love with her at this point but she sure is not gonna get better at that

• "And I suppose France too"/"I know that hurt"/"A little bit" and then he laughs it's adorable

• They're both so giddy here

• "Arthur I did already know that about you, that you were a decent fellow"/"I'm glad"

• They're in love. They are so in love.

• Arthur has taken on Genny's tone for the word inspiration when he talks to the knights

• "You've invited the French" every time Sagramore says it, it's just as funny

• "We may not be born equal"/"We are not sire" (with so much contempt)/"So our laws will make us equal" (with no room for disagreement)

• The immediate conflict

• And we see Arthur being a king and taking a hard line which we don't get to see much in this show and I love it

• "What about God's laws?"/"Not. Our. Jurisdiction" like are we sure this is not actually from the west wing

• I'm internally cheering when I hear it, I love this line far too much

• It's funny but also authoritative and kingly

• I get that some people do not vibe with Sorkin's style and that's fine but I very much do

• This show is so for me it's kind of incredible it was not made with that purpose

• A Sorkin character who would love Sorkin's work, I just adore it

• And according to the funniest line from any review I read, also has Sorkin's haircut

• That just lives in my brain because it's funnier than any piece of media criticism I will ever hear

• The knights already dissenting is very good but also that they don't fully agree yet with each other

• They build it in immediately and that's such a good choice, it makes every escalation feel totally plausible instead of the knights just easily falling for Mordred's bullshit

• Dinadan quoting Plato's ideas and saying how they're the well-educated people who should be in charge is great

• I love that the knights get to be characters and have thoughts

• Their constant vacillating between loyalty to the king and loyalty to the power structure they benefit from

• One of my favorite running tensions

Act 1, Scene 3: The countryside outside of Camelot - six months later

• The performance of C'est Moi is so funny

• Going 100% immediately

• Jordan Donica was just as perfectly cast as everyone else

• The lyrics are so funny and then he is just so loud

• His little whispered "C'est Moi" after the second verse while posing is so much funnier than it is on the cast recording

• "Had I been made the partner of Eve/we'd be in Eden still" is my favorite lyric

• The scream on clean destroys me

• Lance is always at a 10 and he's so delusional, I'm obsessed with him

• There's so much loud breathing in this performance which I love

• And whirling his sword around the stage

• "Beware enemies of Arthur do you hear me beware, from this moment you answer to me" while Arthur is literally unconscious behind him, this is comedy

• "You raised your sword to me"/"Oh I was saying hello"/"I did not know that"

• Lance is not sorry at all and it's hilarious

• He's just on another planet compared to everyone else and I love it

• Also Arthur so pure, just seeing a random person and trying to say hi

• Like you're the king of the country, you do know many people are not exactly going to be friendly, right?

• "I honestly thought I was more recognizable to the French"

• "Have you changed your Francs to English shillings?"/"Why?"/"This man's face is on money"

• Arthur subtly trying to tell Lance what's happening but the word subtle is not in Lance's vocabulary

• "I'm underwhelming in person"

• Says the man that keeps making French people instantly fall in love with him in the woods

• "My security detail... right in the nick of time"

• "I beg your majesty to forgive for me for by forgiving me I'll suffer even more"

• Lance is screaming the whole time

• I don't know how he does it

• "But my strength comes from purity of spirit"/"What was that?"/"Purity of spirit, my personal relationship with the almighty, he favors me"/"I'd keep that to yourself"

• I can't write it out but this

• And this is about to have to switch out for the rest of the show so like even more screaming somehow

• He's so funny, it isn't reasonable

• Also love that his language is the least modern of them

• It fits

• Seems like some of his lines come directly from the original book and it works amazingly

• "Be a faultless example to children" is another iconic delivery

• Also Lance asking for a mission, incredible

• He just plays everything so straight and it's perfect

• Like not a single acknowledgement of the ridiculousness of this character

• Arthur will literally get a concussion to avoid a social function, relatable

• "Until you came along and whacked me in my head"/"AND FOR THAT I BEG YOUR HARSHEST PUNISHMENT"/"Nope, nope, we're not going back to that"

• Yes the all caps is necessary, Lance is always speaking in caps, if he lived in a time a cell phones all of his texts would look like that

• And Arthur's tone when he responds

• When Lance starts singing again and then Arthur just says nope so many times

• This is their whole relationship

Act 1, Scene 4: A park near the castle

• This scene is just a magnificent Phillipa Soo showcase that we have been blessed with

• Like she is just so talented and I am blown away

• There's a reason Lusty Month of May is the song they have the most out there

• "The birds and the bees with all of their vast/amorous past/gaze at the human race aghast" is my favorite and she does it so perfectly

• Also the intro music just exactly captures that buzzy spring feeling

• My roommate and I both had the experience where the first time we saw the show, none of the music stuck with us

• And then the second time, all of the sudden it burrows into your brain

• This burrowed first because of course, it's so vibrant and lovely

• The original music is so good and somehow the transition from the more modern dialouge into the songs is seemless

• Genny has two missions: justice for all and bringing sex to England

• Look there's none in her own marriage and she needs an outlet, make those people kiss, it's all you have

• Genny's so fun and adorable in this song and it's perfect and I have no notes

• I'm just gonna go watch the today show performance and bask in it, this is the most classic Broadway musical sequence in the whole thing

• I love the idea that she's inviting all these normal people in and the beginning of the knights absolutely hating it

• "Be right quieter"

• And when they refer to Genny as a guest in the country

• The original is very and everyone loves her and I love that there's this tension where the people with power don't like her but everyone else does

• They say all the quiet parts out loud in this scene

• The show needs the knights so badly to show the discontent growing over time

• But they still respect tradition enough to enforce respect for the queen on Pellinore

• "I've only lived here a short time"/"Oh and you're already the queen, well done"/"I really had nothing to do with it"

• "Full of youth he was but brooding over problems that would confound Solomon. Ever met him your majesty?"/ "Constantly, he's my husband."

• With such affection ahhhh

• "You must be Morgan Le Fay... oh how he'd go on about the loveliness of Morgan Le Fey, her unsurpassing beautiful"

• Genny getting emotionally slapped in the face, it hurts so much

• The first crack in their relationship because they couldn't talk to each other...

• "I'm glad that nice young man found a nice young lady"

• Why does this make me feel things?

• I love the royal music every time

• "As you were everyone, pick grapes, eat flowers, or uh the other way around"

• Arthur and Genny's little catch up about Pelli is very cute, we don't get to see them be cute for a while after this so I just want to appreciate it

• Lance having no social awareness and continuing to make proclamations while Genny could not care less and is actively trying to speak to someone else, brilliant

• Genny and Arthur just waiting for Lance to stop talking after she keeps being interrupted and then Genny rushing out her lunch invitation and Arthur rushing out his response

• Arthur immediately wanting to run ideas by Genny, she is crucial to the development of Camelot and it's very much not a secret

• Arthur's "uh oh" when Lance is doing some casual misogyny

• "That sounded like a friendly exchange of pleasantries"/"It was not"

• No fucks for Genny today

• I wish I could one day know the translation of Genny and Lance's friendly exchange of pleasantries

• "Who would serve as the standard?"/"Oh certainly not me your majesty"/"See no hubris"/"My standards are much too high"/"Dammit Lance"

• "Have you achieved perfection milord?"/"Please say no"/"Of course I haven't your majesty"/"Good"/"Refining the soul is an endless struggle... but physical perfection"/"No"/"Yes"/"Go back to speaking French"

• "And in your quest for spiritual perfection have you considered the value of humility?"/"Ah something we should all consider. In fact let's take two minutes of silence to consider the value of humility."

• The dialouge between the three of them is so funny in this scene

• The ship is sinking and Arthur is just there with a tiny bucket while Lance and Genny keep creating giant new holes

• Genny calling Lance a jackass is both hilarious and also so valid

• "She already has an affectionate nickname for you"

• We have officially reached the beginning of the end, well we had some nice moments

• Like imagine if Pelli didn't start going on about how in love Arthur was with Morgan and then Arthur didn't show up with his new best friend who immediately implied women were too stupid to engage in government

• Genny was having a no fucks day and was probably ready to do a stupid thing and maybe that stupid thing was her husband

• A true tragedy

• "And with humility I"

• Dinadan's line deliveries are so dry and good

• And Genny's laugh

• "And whom will the three of you want to impress?"/"We want to impress the king too."/"Ah yes English men"

• I love the knights, they've all got their own little comedic touches in this song

• Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Genny

• Take Me to the Fair is a masterpiece

• I don't know what constitutes a hot take about this show because there are 5 people talking about it

• But my hot take is that as much as Lusty Month of May is a brilliant and amazing song

• This is actually the Phillipa Soo tour de force

• Her fake crying is so good

• There are so many good flourishes in the singing

• Same thing I feel about I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight, Phillipa Soo is just enhancing every line with her hilarious delivery

• Also this sound

• Sagramore is always operating at 50% more intensity than the rest of the knights and it's perfect

• Him having to be held back by the other two when Genny sings to him

• It's involuntary at this point that I turn my head back at French during this verse

• His very loud delivery of "I swear to you the challenge will be met"

• "Sirrrr Liiiiionel"/"Ma'am"/"Ugh"

• And when she gives his chest a little slap after "and young du Lac"

• Perfect

• And her laugh-cry at the end of Lionel's part

• Their faces when she touches them are also just very confused and funny, she is not good at this

• I love when the knights are singing together, bringing up Lance really has wrapped them around her finger

Act 1, Scene 5: The King's study - the night before the tournament

• "You know that it's your move right?"/"I did not know that. I'll need to alter my strategy now"

• Honestly so relatable I suck at chess, Pelli is the best

• "If we're to care about justice, we need to care even more about injustice"

• Just a good little Sorkin nugget

• Pelli refusing to understand any of Arthur's ideas, excellent

• "Do I understand that you intend to be history's first king to yield power?"/"Oh now you're catching on"

• I do just love Arthur so much

• And the delivery of "she wrote what you just read"

• He's so pleased to inform Lance that Genny's writing treatises about justice

• Pelli's smug little "it's your move" like that's correct, no one is allowed to not respect women in Arthur's study

• "He's had you in checkmate for an hour and a half"

• Arthur's patience is astounding, Lance should be taking notes while he's perfecting his spirit

• "Would you like to play me or do you ever do anything but perfect your soul?"/"No I also perfect my body"

• Again just perfect deliveries and honestly so much respect to the new book for making Lance even more irritating but eventually more human too

• I am not dragging Lance, this is a compliment

• Just the way Jordan Donica plays it completely straight without being able to detect sarcasm is hilarious

• "The arrangement I'm in is called a marriage, having some fun would be called treason. And finally I hate his breathing guts."

• Setting up the consequences we know are coming with a little joke, I like it

• "Well be sure and give us clear skies tomorrow when you're arranging things with god tonight"

• Savage, I don't like most of the original dialouge but we had a winner with this one

• Her delivery just elevates it

• "No one could refuse your wish"

• The gall of Lance to say that like that in front of Arthur like he is shameless

• "Why do you have to bait the man?"/"I dislike him, I thought I was making that clear"

• Genny is so relatable

• Their first fight and Arthur's already insulting the French, I'm not sure why he thought this was going to go well

• Arthur trying to delicately ask Genny to withdraw her permission from Dinadan

• He's trying to have this conversation as her husband and not her king but Genny is not even having it a little

• Genny explaining that she already gave permission for all the knights is so funny

• I know they're basically the original lines but ya know, sometimes Lerner nailed it

• "It will seem to the entire court as if you are rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."/"The only reason it will seem that way is because I'm rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."

• "He's going to embarass those three. These are not men who take well to embarrassment."

• Like Arthur already knows exactly who his knights are

• He knows that they don't exactly match up to his ideals

• The delivery on "will you withdraw your permission" is also spot on like Arthur is ready to exit this conversation right now

• Also on "if I do will you forgive me"

• Like he knows that's not happening

• "Not as long as I live, no"

• Perfect riff on the original book's line

• Arthur doing some investigating on Genny hating Lance like he knows before she even does

• Ouch

• And then him starting to get frustrated when she's not answering like babies' first fight is not going well

• "Because he needs to be brought down to earth... literally not metaphorically"

• Like she has yet to be wrong

• "Merlyn never taught me how to handle a woman"/"You didn't read the book?"/"There's a book? No I can see from your face that there's not a book. Though maybe in France they would have published something, no I can still see on your face"

• We love a Genny dripping with sarcasm moment

• And Arthur being an idiot nerd

• He's so so stupid

• Another one of my truly favorite lines and deliveries, he is so excited that he completely forgets he's mad at her for a second and then pouting when he realizes

• "If the king wishes me to withdraw my permission, let him so command... nope, then I will bid you goodnight"

• The aggressiveness on her daring him to command her is so much

• Perfect

• I love her nope, a little power play

• Because she knows he won't and he knows he won't and she's happy to remind him of that they both know that and then leave

• His silence is doing so much work too

• Damn this scene is good

• "And before I go to bed as a gesture to Lancelot and to you, I'll pray it's over quickly"/It will be"

• They're so mad, I love it

• "There should be a book"

• Grumbling sullen Arthur is very funny even if How to Handle a Woman is lowkey the worst song

• And Arthur's worst impulse, which the narrative knows because it plays under him talking about vengeance and what he's entitled to later

• Like they do a good job recontextualizing it but it's still not the best

• Just hearing him sing the word threaten is kind of jarring, I cannot even slightly imagine this Arthur even thinking it once

• In my opinion they should've just cut it, I'd gladly take more Sorkin dialouge instead

• I do appreciate the way they scaled back this music in the rest of the show

• Because it's all over the second act of the movie, Arthur and Genny's theme if you will

• Like even during their last conversation

• Because they're not the love story so their theme isn't really a love song

• But then here, they play it under Arthur's worst impulses at the end of act 1 and banish it which is so smart

Act 1, Scene 6: A grandstand - the next day

• The music coming into this scene and when Arthur and Genny show up, again fantastic

• The outright hostility between the knights and Lance, they turned it so far up in this version

• Pushing him down and shit

• I love Athur and Genny showing up and getting to see them actually be king and queen and have their over-the-top outfits and crowns in this and the last act 1 scene because it's so removed from who they are the rest of time

• Arthur's speech at the beginning trying to glorify them not having the tournament and how great losing is and having to be stopped by Genny

• He's trying so hard and his speech is not good

• The fact that she basically tells him to stop and his response is fine like I think he forgets that he's actually in charge

• I love a sword fight

• The movement, the drama, the loud clanging...

• I am but a humble girl raised on the Pirates of the Carribean movies

• Dinadan being a dick before the fight with "and now for your lesson sir"

• The way Lance knocks the sword out of Dinadan's grip and makes him pick it up before defeating him, such an asshole move

• I truly can't tell if Lance has just such a superiority complex that he doesn't realize what parts of his own behavior are making people dislike him or he's just so stuck in his toxic little mindset that he doesn't care if people hate him for it

• I kind of feel like Lance is so into his specific notions of the world that even he doesn't really know why he acts the way he does

• "Dinadan seemed very inspired by your kerchief, should we continue?"

• "You know he almost had him, right up until the moment he never stood a chance"

• Their fight being played out by proxy while Arthur makes snide comments and they give each other looks is good shit

• Sagramore's scream, he's always going so hard

• The fact that Arthur fighting instead of Lionel is new for this

• Genius

• So good

• The dialouge around it is good too

• The temptation to just transcribe the whole thing is so strong

• Commanding Lance to pick back up his sword like damn

• I love seeing this new side of Arthur

• He can and will fight and he's good at it

• "I know what a damn baguette is"

• His little bit to Lance about it just being about morale is very good

• But also he can see what's going on even if Genny can't so is it?

• The fact that he may well have won the fight if it wasn't for a cool bird, what a man

• Fun fact about me, I didn't even see the bird or realize that's why he got distracted until the last time

• He and Genny are like very much not in a good place this moment but he will let it slide to point out a bird

• Arthur's fall is very good

• Can you tell I think this scene is also very good, I've only written it like twelve times

• The fact that they're letting people fight with swords and there isn't a doctor for 12 miles, amazing planning by everyone

• The bit of everyone thinking Arthur was dead and him sarcastically correcting them is amazing 100% of the time

• "He put life back into him" is just consistently hilarious

• "I'm not wanted here Arthur"

• With the most heartbreaking delivery

• Aw we finally see Lance have some shred of being an actual person

Act 1, Scene 7: The castle terrace - on the evening of the same day

• I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight intro-ing into this scene

• "Well you got me there" being screamed is perfect

• Pelli sensing that something is bothering Arthur, their relationship is very sweet

• Pelli describing the way Genny and Lance were looking at each other, what a shit stirer

• "It may be the only way to get him to stay"/"Maybe it's best if you let him go"/"Let him go?"/"Maybe it's best"/"Why is that?"/"Well...You said yourself, morale"

• Like she's trying to protect them but she won't say it

• For obvious reasons

• But it's confirming what Arthur already suspects

• And just drawing them further apart

• Another great her silence is doing so much work moment

• The entire telling Lance he's being invested discussion is so intense

• So much anger simmering in Arthur that can't help but come out in the line deliveries in the beginning

• Genny refusing to engage and turning her back to the whole thing

• "I'm sure he'd like to hear it from another child of France"/"This is my country now"

• Oh boy I love this exchange

• Like she's trying, she's trying so hard

• And I don't know what the fuck Arthur is thinking with that one, in what way could she possibly respond that's not going to be bad for him?

• Arthur leaving them alone like whyyyy

• And then Arthur giving Genny back her bloody kerchief, fuck

• All is very much not forgiven here

• "God dammit Pelli, I wasn't dead"

• Genny making it clear she does not believe Arthur was dead, I appreciate that she's also very clear on the fact that their world is not magical

• I wonder if Lance does think he willed Arthur back to life

• Probably

• "Don't ever say it out loud. Neither of us can ever say it out loud"

• This was another straight up gasping in the theater moment

• The entire conversation between Genny and Lance is so good and tense

• And the delivery on that line just feels like getting punched in the gut

• Phillipa Soo is amazing

• I love that she won't let them say it, that she's fighting it

• And the way she cuts him off, the way she makes him agree to not say it

• This is the intense love she wanted and it doesn't need to be said which is exactly what she needed to feel from Arthur but didn't get

• Also Lance just trying to confess his feelings the first second he can is just such an interesting character choice

• Like the truth is his purity of the soul bluster doesn't hold up to the slightest temptation

• He's ready to betray Arthur the second he leaves the room

• It's all a front

• Not intentionally, like he believes the things he says he believes

• But he can't keep to it

• I think he's so drawn to Arthur because Arthur actually has the qualities he's proclaiming define him

• But I don't even think Lance knows any of this about himself

• At least not until later

• He's just impulsive

• Which is I think what makes him an interesting character to me but also makes his motivations hardest to decipher

• Before I Gaze at You Again is such a stunning song

• And watching Phillipa Soo just emote for the whole time

Act 1, Scene 8: The great hall - on that evening

• All the music that starts this scene is brilliant

• "I'll never disappoint you"/"I know"

• I just...

• Like we the audience know but also the characters sort of all know and they are determined not to let it happen but that only makes it happen anyway

• Ugh those lines are a little nothing but they're everything

• I have the YouTube clips of Richard Burton's version of this and it does just indicate how well they've modernized

• Theater has changed so much so the pacing of 1961 compared to this is kind of fascinating

• This is also actually the writing I think is the best from the original and it is so fascinating to compare the two versions which I'm sure someone has done and I want to read it because there is so much to say

• It's so bold to close act 1 with a speech instead of a song

• I had no context coming in so they had me in the first half, I wasn't sure if this was Arthur's turn into the villain moment

• Once again I'm just like pointing to the whole speech and yelling how good it is

• Whoever decided this belonged on the cast recording is my personal hero

• This is just on my normal spotify playlist and as long as I'm not reading, I will not skip it

• But I love the idea that in the original book Arthur starts out by declaring his love for Genny and Lance and in this version it's like he's actively talking to the audience to defend himself

• To say he's not some stupid optimistic kid, that he sees everything we have

• Comes out swinging

• I can't explain how much "proposition: I am not a befuddled king" shook me, I was ready for shit to go down and I love it as the opener to this

• The pause before "whom they love", the sadness in it

• "And she didn't choose whom she married"

• Like Arthur can never get rid of that guilt

• The push and pull of this entire thing where he will try to make an argument with himself that everything is fine but the bitterness keeps seeping in until there's no rationality left

• Trying not the write out the whole thing but the rhythm of it, the pacing, this performance is spectacular

• The way the audience startles when he starts screaming

• Like he's having his back and forth rational debate with himself and finally we see him lose that control

• And it is the good shit

• I can't explain how much I came in with no context for this show and how much this completely threw me in the best way

• We're finally a glimpse of what's happening inside Arthur's head, to see the way he's been holding so much back from everyone else

• I love that he's still yelling at Merlyn, not exactly sure what I want to read into that, I feel like there are a few lines of thought

• "Am I not entitled to a man's vengence?"

• Perhaps my favorite line in the first half

• Every line is sort of my favorite but I guess let's settle on this one

• Because the original is "I demand a man's vengence"

• And same sentiment but entitled is so much more toxic

• Like the thing about this magic-less universe is that Arthur wasn't destined for some greatness and so he pulled the sword from the stone

• He wasn't owed something, he didn't deserve it, it just happened and he chose to rise to the challenge

• And this is the first moment he's decided he might be entitled to anything

• And then he does a 180 into deserving nothing

• "Proposition: I'm not a man, I'm a king"

• Like wow so much to unpack psychologically there

• I mean he and Lance have very much the same problem of trying to suppress their own humanity but the reasons are so different

• When Arthur switches into his idealistic mode and they start playing I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight because he's being kingly, literally gets me every time

• The entire thing is so good, I love the second half so much

• "I wasn't trained for this"

• I love the running theme of Merlyn training Arthur in all of these important skills but never teaching him how to handle emotions and relationships and uh maybe he should have

• There were perhaps some limits to Merlyn's wisdom that set Arthur up to fail

• Because he's been king since he was barely out of childhood

• He never got the chance to have normal, equal relationships where he could figure shit out

• So instead he just pushes it all down because he's not wrong in that he doesn't get the luxury of following his emotions

• I love every second of this scene

• I love every line, every delivery, every movement

• Like it is a hard ask to make an actor just walking around the stage monologuing compelling in a musical and this is so so compelling

• Just on the whole of this show, I don't know that I've ever been so blown away by a stage performance as I was watching Andrew Burnap and this scene is just a perfect encapsulation of why

• Whatever he's in next, I will go

• Okay real talk something about this man's face just renders it unrecognizable to my brain so more than likely I'll see something and be like wow that person was amazing, who was that and then it will turn out to be him

• I say specifically because I happened to be watching Under the Banner of Heaven the whole time I've been having a Camelot obsession and how did I find out he was in it? I happened to see his name in the end credits four episodes in...

• But anyway I will at least try to know whatever he's in next so I can go on purpose because this performance is living in my brain and I don't think it's leaving

• I do make fun of previous versions of this show for casting people who are clearly not musical theater actors in this role but actually I do think casting actors who do straight plays does add so much as long as they aren't terrible at singing

• All of which to say again that I do think this was some of the most perfect casting I have ever seen

• Basically the statements you can tell Andrew Burnap is not a musicals person and you can absolutely tell Phillipa Soo and Jordan Donica are absolutely musicals people

• Are both extreme compliments to the people that decided on this casting

[hawkp]

I can't guarantee anything. But I might write a Kirk Bros fic because of you. Any ideas on what kind of thing would be the most fun and/or heartbreaking with that? (Again, no guarantees. I'm kinda flighty sometimes.) You've made me think more about them than normal, so if you need to yell about them, I may yell with you. (Sorry if this is too random, or annoying, or anything.😅)

So sorry but this answer might not make much sense. I have the stomach flu and just woke up from fourteen hours of sleep because I broke my fever. This is how I feel rn.

So if it doesn’t make sense please ask or message me for clarification. Everything below is just word vomit at this point.

ANYWAYS

NO NOT RANDOM I LOVE PPL YELLING even if it’s something I don’t know about. I just love when people are passionate about stuff.

I have like 30 WIPS sitting in my google drive so I totally understand you. I also started a Kirk Bros fic. It’s just a lengthy outline right now that starts right at the end of 2x10 and would end after the four Enterprise crew members are back on the ship and recovering (because everyone is going to be messed up as hell, especially La’an and I’m sure that someone will be dead in the show).

But these are some things I’ve thought about including in my WIP! Please feel free to run with them. Seriously, take them from me!

Disclaimer, in my fic I’m retconning Sam’s wife and kids from TOS because I haven’t found the SNW mention of her, which is apparently there somewhere, but I didn’t want to have to include the daddy dynamic of Sam’s character into it lol.

So first off, Pike doesn’t end up deciding if they’re pulling out, Una does. They only pull out far enough to not be in immediate danger, which is still against Starfleet orders, so they’d be breaking some regulation already and be in a wacky sort of limbo.

Then, how difficult it would be for Pike to tell Jim. I feel like he’d save him for last after contacting everyone else’s families… which I now realize those four have very little of. Jim would just know that something is wrong off the bat just from Pike’s face. He might even jump to the conclusion that Sam is dead and then the reality of his situation when Pike tells him ends up being so much worse. From there, Jim is dead set on joining them for a rescue mission, even if he has to break some regulations himself. Also at this point Christopher is a freaking mess ofc.

My biggest issue with writing the Gorn right now though is figuring out how to not have them immediately kill or do the dermal impregnation thing that’s going on with Batel, to the four of them and the settlers from the planet. I’m toying with the idea that the Gorn have been possessed by another entity. There’s an episode of Enterprise where some crew members contract a “silicone based virus” that was a whole separate species and I was thinking about trying to emulating that somehow.

I have a lot in my brain that happens between the exposition and the rescue but of course my whumpy ass had Sam being in the worst shape out of the group when they get back to the Enterprise. I think if I did go the infected Gorn route then the “virus species” will have been experimenting on Sam and he might be totally catatonic by that point and from there it would be blah, blah, blah recovery blah, blah. <- my brain literally cannot form a better sentence to communicate this rn

The actual first scene I wrote for the fic was Sam telling Jim about how picturing their childhood got him through everything that happened and specifically telling him the story about the first time he held him as a baby. Idk what kind of crack I was on that night but he ends it by telling him that he knew it was his job to take care of him as soon as he set his eyes on him. Did I write that because I’m the oldest sibling? What? No.

So anyways… yeah I have a lot of thoughts on this. And if you’d like to write something together I’m down for that too!

[scepterno]

hi its me again ..

sorry to bother, just wanted to ask if you have any tips on how to start off a fic.. i have an idea ive been sitting on for ages and i have so much planned but i just... can't start it!! how did you start an insulting indifference...

oh man.... im so ass at giving advice.... but thank you for asking anyways! let's see.... this got long so im placing a read more

the way i write is very based on improvisation. i either go into a fic with a very very broad idea of what i want to accomplish, and let the story take me wherever it wants. if i think of something randomly that i want to write, then i go to the bottom of my word document and pound out about two to three sentences IN the moment or scene, just to set the tone. i typically end up hoarding about 3 or so pages of disconnected story moments or character dialogue. by doing this, i can also foreshadow events or make parallels that span across several chapters in the story.

work OUT OF ORDER!!! its fun!!! it keeps it exciting!!! there was one fic i wrote where the last chapter was the first ever thing i wrote for it, and so i had a better picture in my mind about how the entire thing would GENERALLY play out. i like to leave the details in the moment, which is where the improv aspect comes in. if you let yourself ride the tide of the story, you wont have to force it in certain directions as much. sometimes you have to correct its course, but mostly youre there to cruise along with the story thats coming to life!

think of it like... a bunch of big dots. and these dots are all connecting by lines. like a big web. everything in the dots are BIG STORY BEATS, and the lines are the exposition between them. the lines don't have to be straight, either. they can have loops, or wiggles, or tiny tiny dots of their own. it may not be as exciting as the HUGE dots, but its still necessary. then again, maybe it isnt! dont feel like writing a scene? skip it! trust in your readers' abilities to make inferences based on all the other context clues you give them in the text.

as you can see, i suck at giving advice HAHA. my brain is.... not very good at sorting the chaos into something tangible for others to understand.

if you have an idea, just run with it! write for the sake of writing SOMETHING. anything is a good starting point. ANYTHING. you can always go back and edit it later. write what you DONT want to write so you can get to the stuff you DO want to write.

)--)o

i would also recommend never deleting stuff youve written. if you write a scene that you end up hating, cut and paste it into a separate document just for safe keeping. it might come in handy down the line, even if you never actually USE it. you might be able to look back on it and REALIZE what does and doesnt work about it, which will improve your tone and general skills for OTHER stuff you're going to write in the future.

and one of my favorite things to do in a story when im stuck is STEP OUT OF MY BOX. especially if youre writing from a single character POV. we've been following the story of a single person, but every single other character they interact with has been going through a fanfic of their own. what is happening to them? what are they saying? being told? experiencing? what would cause them to change their mind about something suddenly? or act irrationally? the best part about writing for humans is that they're flawed. all of them. so we can write them making mistakes and doing stupid things. it helps push the plot along. it creates conflict, WHICH IS INTERESTING. we love conflict.

find something you want to write about in a fic, then expand the world around it. when i started an insulting indifference, my goal was to write about Alejandro's trauma, Noah's mental health, and have them experiencing healing by mending their relationship with not only each other, but the world and people around them. and then it grew from there!!!!!!!!!

ok im done

i talked WAAAY too much about utter nonsense. i hope at least 5% of this was helpful to you. LOL!! thank you again for the ask!!!!

[its-no-biggie]

SO I WATCHED RESTORATION lets do a quick rundown of my little prediction chart. spoilers under the cut!

I FUCKING CALLED EPSILON TEX COMING BACK ???????

cant believe ZERO got canonized but nothing from temple. we were robbed.

not only no grimmons love confession, but THEY SPLIT UP?????? i wasnt genuinely expecting them to get together or anything but like holy shit. literally the plot of season 15 was grif wanting to split up and realizing that wasnt actually what he wanted. this is not their happy ending what the FUCK. like it was in character and kind of a nice moment, but not as the closure at the very end??? hello??????

predicted both one of the r&bs dying and (kind of) epsilon being dead. im a genius 💪

on that note. i cant believe they KILLED one of the main characters and it wasnt even good angst. tucker fucking killed him???? and then it never comes up again???? the only reason i wanted that to happen was because tucker is the villain!!! he killed him!!!! he should have to reconcile with that!!!! but he just. doesnt?????

still no wash/epsilon interactions. also washs whole presence in this movie was confusing and bad. just didnt make any sense. disappointing

the amount of red team screentime was good though! the reds were easily the best part of this movie. also caboose <3

um. the ending was much worse than i could have predicted. see above. also the "why are we here" thing was WAYYY overused. i appreciate a good callback but like have some restraint jesus christ

and of course the top left corner was bang on. meta!tucker was..... i think in a vaccuum and with better pacing i wouldve really liked it. theres some good angst potential there, but it makes no sense with the rvb meta (haha) and is not well executed. disappointing. and the other fragments had almost no lines :(

final notes. what the fuck did i just watch. honestly its about what i expected - has potential but poorly executed. but my GOD is it poorly executed. they really butchered most of the main cast - not in terms of like, dialogue, per se, but in terms of like. character arcs? most of the character moments would be at home in season 6 even though its supposed to be post-13. and donut isnt even in it! even though theres a moment that was CLEARLY written for donut!! also the twist with doc is somehow both predictable and makes no fucking sense. the exposition is painfully bad, and wastes its time on going over shit we already know while leaving gaping holes that are never explained. the ending is awful and the post credits scene is even worse. and the PACING. this shit is WAYYY too short for everything theyre trying to do, so theres absolutely no time to build tension or care about whats happening. just bad writing all around. but like. it couldve been good. i did have fun watching it. im planning to watch it again so i can fully digest it, and i cant WAIT to read fanfic about it. and there are some really funny moments! but its bad. its a bad season. EASILY worse than the 4 full seasons of material they retconned. honestly.... a fitting end for the show. and i mean that derogatorily

[scratchandplaster]

Stack The Deck - PART 5

CW: reluctant Whumper, way too much exposition, card games, insults, alcohol, fade to black gore

PART 4 ⇽ [Masterlist] ⇾ PART 6

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

There was no way to tell how much time had passed now, the barricaded window frames didn't even let a sliver of sunlight crack through them. Elliot doubted to get any kind of power or heating going, though the temperature inside remained at a continuous chilly level. If he had to guess, focusing on what his gut told him, they slowly approached the late afternoon. Not that this changed anything, the brightness of Morris' table lamp dictated any change of lighting, he didn't want to find out what would happen if the battery ran out.

What started as a quick match of Crazy Eights turned into hours of shuffling, dealing and frustrated sighs Morris let echo through the tension between them. Looking the man up and down, with long stubble slightly darker than his chestnut curls, Elliot noticed how he also started to relax into this new dynamic. If only for a second he could forget how they came to be here, his designated company would deserve to be this enjoyable.

This satire of a game night was originally supposed to get him more leeway, along with acting as some sort of damage control. His anxiety-induced fits had irritated his opponent visibly, so he was lucky to be given a chance to make this right.

Make him like me, whatever that means-

To humiliate him back was a tempting option, but only if he decided that his bones weren't vital anymore. Sadly, both were well-versed enough in the children's game to keep each other on edge, dragging a single round into infinity.

So what's the right ratio of wins to satisfy a sadist? Elliot had to ask himself that question after a particularly tricky match, as his victory let Morris'  face bloom with an unhealthy crimson hue. 2 to 1? Or even a 70 percent success rate?

Only one truth was disclosed to him: The man really loved Crazy Eights. Taking every round as a fight for survival, Morris chewed his nails down to a stump, frantically looking at his hand and back towards the upcard of the waste pile. Elliot decided to lose this round again, preferably before the air was squeezed out of his throat.

Their game was barely interrupted, aside from a bathroom break and dinner consisting only of a protein bar. Elliot couldn't remember when they properly started to talk about all the world and his brother, but Morris tried desperately to enthrall him for the local baseball team, just to be rewarded with fake enthusiasm flowing into trivial queries about sports. The questions were genuine, though, Elliot couldn't keep him going otherwise.

Card games: fun. Screaming and crying: no fun. Doesn't really sound like a textbook sadist. Not that made a difference, at the end of the day, Morris was just a man. A violent, reckless one, but still a man.

I can work with that.

It was sad in a way, how much he seemed to enjoy his unwilling company. Maybe that's what the wanted all along: friends for rent.

What felt now like an age-old question continued to nag the back of his mind, the key component to his escape: Why him?

If he was acting hard to get, then Elliot would need to get a little more brisk.

"So, what do you do when you're not teaching me basic sports knowledge?" he asked, using a beat of Morris' pause to start the offense. He wouldn't spell out his social security number, sure, but it was worth a shot.

"This." Blunt in his reveal, Morris didn't even meet the eyes of his captive, too busy planning out a winning strategy. Elliot found himself to be less than underwhelmed, hoping for a helpful twist he could use as bait.

"We can't all sell stocks, now can we?"

"I...don't. Who told you that?" The ransom aspect made a lot more sense now, someone really had to hate him to make up those kinds of lies. His only answer was a shrug.

"I'm a part-time office clerk." he tried to explain himself, not sure if it would really help his case, "I-I write you an email if the gas prices increase again or your energy was shut off, but I have nothing to do-"

"Thrilling, really." Morris responded dryly, only slightly irritated he played the seven of clubs.

He does make losing difficult. Ignoring the couple of clubs already in his hand, Elliot drew another card. Walking on eggshells with that kind of opponent is risky, I shouldn't push too hard.

"Your turn," he said instead of another lecture.

He lost this round gladly, managing to turn the atmosphere into a relaxed caution of both parties again. During his shuffle to prepare the next one, Morris seemed to reflect.

"What about the other part? The one where you're not a corporate slave?"

So you don't know everything, alright.

"I use the office to finance the half of my life I really love: Music!" he explained, hoping to get some bonus points for dramatics, "When my colleagues and I start to play together-"

"You're in a band?!" During his short stay at Morris unusual establishment he already got used to being interrupted, at least the bait finally worked.

"Well, I-"

A short buzzing stopped him again, but this time they stayed quiet. Morris just got a message. Eyeing the phone on the table with a breathless intensity, Morris just had a mild sigh to offer: "Don't get too excited now, it's not what you think."

He laid the stack of cards face-down onto the table, careful not to scatter them everywhere, and fished for an object in his inside pocket. During the rummage through the leather jacket, Elliot didn't dare to speak, not wanting to ruin the sprout of hope inside him.

Morris finally got a grip on his desired object, pulling out another phone. Elliot would recognize the slick wooden case anywhere, his father bought it for his birthday. The screen was marked with fresh thin cracks, probably caused by his drop on the wet concrete.

I fell, he grasped, No! He made me...

Without warning, Morris reached over the table to grab the other man's right hand, still rubbed open at the wrists. Elliot let himself go limp, like it was already trained response, while his thumb was pressed against the front of the screen. As quickly as Morris grabbed him, he also released.

With now unlimited access to his data, Elliot could do nothing but gawk at the audacity with which his captor seemed to navigate through his phone, reading the newest message in silence.

Keeping it on - practically running around screaming to be arrested. He was no sadist, just a big fucking idiot. Elliot prayed that he would act exactly as stupid as he seemed to be. His colleagues ought to be too angry with him to just ignore his absence. A call had to be made, one he didn't accept, so they started to worry...

"Brooke wishes you a speedy recovery!" was all Morris had to say. Brooke Hoffstetter, first violin, just a few rows in front of him. "A bit late, but still very considerate of her."

"Why?" he whispered, his hope slowly shrinking.

"You have a nasty stomach flu and couldn't make it to practice, it seems," Morris casually told the man he had the nerve to impersonate, "Let's hope I don't catch anything."

"Fuck you!" The words just tumbled out of Elliot's mouth, unable to hold it back anymore.

He felt like crying again, the same helplessness overcoming him in waves, just like it had many hours beforehand. He thought he made progress, but he was exactly where Morris wanted to have him. Nice and quiet, stuck to a chair. No one was coming.

"You know, I like you better when you stop shoving your head up my ass," he continued, a sound close to a chuckle carried his words right to Elliot's ear, turning fear into anger.

"At least they don't hate you for coming late again. She claimed that your conductor was pretty pissed, but don't worry, everything is taken care of. I'll just send Brooke a thumbs up, she seems so well organized."

The inside of his mouth had started to bleed. Elliot bit down on his cheek with such a force, so any other insults would be kept at bay; he wouldn't fall for this obvious trap. 

Fucking with the feelings of a desperate man: fun. Being insulted: fun. Good to know.

"Cute, how much you enjoy your work," Elliot began to press out between clenched teeth, the metallic wetness still coating them.

"Don't be like that, I have to make sure everything is running smoothly." 

He began to shuffle again, slower than usual, matching the rustling of the cards with Elliot's controlled breathing. Still smiling, but in a more understanding way than before, it looked like even the abductor didn't want to ruin the mood further. "Ready for another round?"

Elliot never felt ready in the time he spent here, but the exhaustion lingered even heavier on him now. His bound legs screamed for release while his still pounding head wanted nothing but to rest, the dirty foam mattress looking awfully comfortable.

"I'm tired. Can I lay down again?" he asked, polite enough to charm every degenerate in a four-mile radius, but not Morris. Suddenly on edge again, he looked back blank.

"Listen, I know this is stressful for you. We can play something else if you like. Do you know Mau-Mau? Or Switch?"

Desperate, all of a sudden. Tough shit.

"Isn't that the same game all over again?" he asked, digging through his worn mind to recognize what the topic was even revolving about. "I don't even know what time it is, I just want to sleep for a bit."

He didn't trust Morris a single inch, but the fatigue would be his main obstacle in the coming hours, so nothing granted him much of an alternative.

"Around five in the afternoon. I bet it's just your blood sugar, Elliot, you can handle that! I'll even do quartets if you like."

Digging through the duffle bag, he pulled out another protein bar, proudly pushing it towards Elliot. He had never seen a man so desperate for a game of cards, it was mind-boggling. "We play for a bit, and then we take a break, okay? Asshole, you know that one?"

"I actually know a lot of them." The biggest sitting right in front of me. Still, he didn't even touch the well-meant peace offering, instead resolving to lean back in this chair, making himself as small as possible.

"We'll make a deal, alright?" Elliot said after a few seconds, "Worked fine until now, so it shouldn't be a problem, right?"

"I'm not negotiating with you. Even though I do appreciate you finally growing a backbone," Morris replied hesitant.

"You tell me why this is all happening, and I do whatever you like." Wording, you fucking moron. "Damn, I'll even play... I don't know, blackjack with you."

It was the worst offer Morris had ever heard, but he would accept it one way or the other. Far over twelve hours had passed, without a single reaction or phone call. If he was forced to do something he ought to avoid at all costs, Elliot had at least to understand why. He didn't seem to be half as bad as Morris had imagined. So he gave in.

--------

They went back to Crazy Eights again, naturally. A last round which kept one of the parties busy enough to ignore the looming threat inside the room, tainting their domestic game night. With five cards still in his hand, Morris lost without question. He wasn't a sore loser, but the truth still tasted bitter on the back of his tongue. This would take time none of them had left.

"So," Elliot asked again, his voice shaking so badly it nearly broke at every other syllable, "why are you keeping me here? Did my parents accept a sketchy loan or something?"

Morris just now understood that the poor man was under the assumption his mother would ignore violent threats of a stranger. No wonder a few hours in duct tape messed him up so deeply. He wondered in what manner he should break the news to Elliot, to avoid any ugly tantrums. Now, with his arms freed, he could do a lot more damage than just yelling; a fact the dull pain between his legs kept reminding him of.

"Your ex..." Morris claimed, at last being filled with a sense of release.

"Which one?" Elliot asked back, though not even needing an answer. He knew exactly who brought him into this mess.

The beat of silence stressing his statement was suddenly broken by a heavy and rich laugh, making the walls around them shake with honest delight. Morris bent over himself for multiple minutes, being shaken by his own wit for what felt like an unhealthy amount of time. At one point it sounded like choking, and Elliot prayed to no one in particular to make it real. Finally calming down from his sudden lapse, Morris just had one thing to say: "You get around, huh?"

"From time to time." 

Elliot didn't understand how he could remain so calm inside. Gallons of anger or betrayal had to explode any minute, filling him up with a deep rage to outgo all his previous fits. But there was nothing to wait for, whatever he expected left him behind a long time ago.

So he just stayed still, watching Morris wipe some tears of joy out of the corners of his eyes.

"What did she do?" he dared to ask after his captor settled down again.

"Mhh?"

"Amber, what did she do to you?" Of course, it was her. When his life went down the gutter, you could place bets she was standing right on the sidewalk.

"Amber, yes..." Morris looked so much smaller for a second, like it physically pained him to even say her name. "She owes me money, among other things."

"Fuck, I can get you money. I'll pay you back whatever she forgot to. With interest, I don't care."

Over the past hours, he had grown accustom to Elliot's whining and bargain, it was like second nature to him. Morris shouldn't punish him for that, it's just what happens in these kinds of circumstances.

"It's a matter of principle, you don't fuck me over and then disappear from the face of the earth." Yeah, sounds like her.

"We- we broke up months ago. I'm not useful for any of this," Elliot whispered desperately, still not seeming to grasp the position he was in.

"She still loves you, don't you know that?"

"Sure, she loves me so much that she doesn't even bother to answer you," he spit with all the venom he had left. It didn't help Morris already helpless expression. "Lets me rot in a fucking asbestos den..."

„Don't be so bitter about that. She broke up with you for a reason."

He sounded so convinced in his delusion, Elliot caught himself agreeing with him for a second.

"And don't worry about yourself, we have time." Liar.

"Service's working?"

"Yes."

"And you're sure she'd seen the pictures?"

"Yes," Morris said unbothered, lying more to himself than the twitchy stick of a man in front of him.

Obviously, she had seen them, after all these hours, she had seen it all. The threats, the blood... All for a phone call she was too proud to make. Morris realized his chronic misjudgment with a sour expression: She didn't take him seriously, she never did, and this farce wouldn't change a single thing about it. But maybe he didn't have to carry that burden alone anymore...

"Why did she end it?" he asked, this time genuinely invested.

Elliot, covered in dried sweat and blood, still looked like a top-drawer son-in-law. Someone who would braid her hair if asked nicely enough.

"First of all, I did!" the twitchy stick spit at him, his feelings stewing up after months of simmering under his heart, "Second, that shouldn't concern you." He was fed up with the small-talk.

"Tell me, or I gag you." Morris threatened with aloof implicitness, acting more and more offended as his delusion fell apart. Elliot wished every kind of misery upon this captor, including Amber's ongoing company.

"Cheated on me with her fucking weed dealer." Tension was thick between them again. "Among other things."

"Oh, sorry." It was comical, in a sort of way. Elliot scoffed quickly, ignoring that Morris apologized for the only crime he hadn't committed.

"I have nothing to do with her anymore. Don't even know where she lives now. You should have taken any of her friends, not me. She probably won't recognize me anymore!"

"Would have saved you a lot of stress, if you knew her current location."

The sad undertone Morris' claims carried didn't do anything to help Elliot accept his helplessness. If he made it out alive, he would live in the nearby monastery, single for the rest of time.

"I know where her friends live," he tried instead, not a sliver of guilt in sight. He knew exactly where they were hiding, being dragged to all the awful house parties turned out in his favor after all. Morris eyed him slowly, humored by his sudden proactivity, and admittedly impressed.

"You'd rat out her friends?"

"So what? Are their kneecaps more valuable than mine?!" 

His captor smiled again, thin and knowing. 

"You really are the same. You and everyone who came before." Elliot didn't know what to answer, so he let it be.

"I understand that you're upset, and believe me, I would like to watch her obnoxious circle to shut up in an instant. But it has to be you, it's just how it is."

"Definitely not personal, I see."

Retorting with a sigh, Morris stood up for the first time in hours, ready to end this try at a peaceful mediation. Elliot really was a handful, he decided and smirked to himself. Pulling a wooden wall panel aside, digging through the empty space behind it, he grabbed a dusty bottle which was still filled to the brim. No need to scare him anymore, he could be open for once.

"Last time I was here, I spend so much time with solitaire, I nearly went insane. So I decided to make some moonshine; makes the whole thing less lonely!"

You seem to have a problem with that. Can't blame Amber for running. Wishing he had been just as successful as his ex-lover, he accepted the small glass Morris presented him with.

"A shot for every time we lost!"

With 34 to 13, if Elliot counted correctly, he would get alcohol poisoning before the sun even rose again. Maybe the better alternative.

"I don't know if-"

"Wasn't a question, Elliot." He poured them each a shot, the clear liquid spilling over the edge. Elliot couldn't handle his booze very well, a lightweight through and through. Not wanting to be pickled by his oh-so charming captor, he thought of an alternative.

"We could play for that, starting fresh. Each time one of us loses, they have to drink."

"I don't think I'm in the mood anymore." Expectantly, Morris stared him down.

Taking the first shot as a well-meaning sign and desperately trying not to spit it out in an instance, Elliot bent to his will again.

"Could take longer than I expect." Morris mumbled, also downing his own. Liquid courage, he told himself.

"But we have time, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

Silence settled over the pair. The quiet clicks of nails against glass was the only noise disrupting the thick atmosphere. Morris was the first to speak again, slowly lifting the bottle to pour another round onto the leftover droplets.

"Drink," he pressed out, not even bothering to keep the act up. "Please don't make this difficult, come on."

Despite his stern tone, Morris' continued to stare blankly at the stack of cards, still itching to be used again. Even though both men knew that wouldn't make a difference anymore.

--------

Morris tried to shake him back to consciousness, once or twice. Spread out over the table, Elliot long dropped his ability to stay awake; the mixture of low blood sugar, exhaustion, and dehydration was to blame for it.

Slowly, Morris grabbed his shoulders to lean him back onto the backrest, but keeping his hands firmly on the now soaked wood. Quiet murmuring was the only sound of the last half hour; at least Elliot appeared way less miserable and tense in his drunken state and if Morris had to guess, he wouldn't be able to feel what was about to come.

He warned her insistently, multiple times in the last few hours, and even tried to call again. Nothing. She witnessed it all, he was sure, but decided just to watch the message preview instead of taking the commitment seriously. 

He didn't plan for this to happen, not really, but that what he thought he deserved for underestimating Amber. He let the drowsy head tip back to better reach the gag still bound around Elliot's neck, gently putting it back into place without any protest. It would be a bummer if he accidentally bit his tongue, Morris honestly enjoyed the little banters they had.

With Elliot's fingers now forcibly spread apart, Morris reassured himself this gesture was a necessity, a sign for her to finally take his demands seriously. Examining the dazed man beside him, he wondered how he managed to free himself from her. Nobody just breaks up with Amber like that.

The edge of his old switchblade pressed lightly into the base of the ring finger laying flat against the wood, teasing the joint apart. But Morris hesitated, not entirely sure why so. The messier, the better, he thought by himself, knowing exactly how much she hated the horror movies they watched together.

It wouldn't be fair though, he recalled, and very unhygienic for the both of them. Imaging a brand-new game of cards, the deck smeared with various bodily fluids a human could provide, he was certain that Elliot would never go for another round. Even if his severed finger was just laying next to him, no threat would convince him otherwise. It was better this way. Tidy.

Morris didn't think about Elliot when he positioned the knife far lower on the back of the hand and turned it around, the point of it facing the ceiling. He didn't think of the whole day they now knew each other, more or less, and he also tried his hardest to ignore the light twitch shooting though his own body. 

He thought of Amber and how happy they could be together, if she would just answer - as he let the far end of the knife smash down into the bones underneath, again and again.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Febuwhump 2023 Masterlist]

@febuwhump

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

(belated) reading update: may 2023

upon realizing I was over a week late on my book report for May I considered just waiting until the end of June and rolling the two together, but thing is that I have a Theme for June (spoilers: it's the very predictable theme of only reading books by and/or about queer people) and lumping them together will really throw that off, so! onwards we go.

I should also say that this will be a real shorty, tied with March for the LEAST amount of books I've managed to finish in a month so far this year. in March that was because the month mostly revolved around a weeklong vacation to crash at my mom's place on the beach with a gaggle of friends, which was very fun but seriously cramped my time to read for pleasure. May ALSO saw a very exciting weeklong trip to a brand new city (WHAT'S UP NEW ORLEANS) as well as genuinely some of the shittiest and most harrowing events of my adult life so far so. can't blame a bitch a bitch for slipping!

ANYWAY.

what have I been reading?

People From Bloomington (Budi Darma, 1980; trans. Tiffany Tsao, 2022) - a strange short story collection set in the Bloomington, Indiana, where the Indonesian Darma studied during the 1970s. these stories take the mundane drama of Americana and turn it on its head, crawling deep into themes of alienation and ostracization and the ways they turn people against themselves. over and over again Darma tells tales of lonely boarders driven to obsessive and antisocial behavior by the loneliness that eats them alive amid pleasant-looking suburbs. the prose is overall a little on the dry end for me to really love it, but I do think about how fucked up these protagonists are, like, constantly.

High on the Hog: A Culinary Journey from Africa to America (Jessica B. Harris, 2011) - a delight! an absolute gosh dang delight! Harris is a PUN FULL INTENDED delectable writer who takes you on the most unexpected tour of how African foodways have shaped the culture of US cuisine. beginning with the obvious roots of the transatlantic slave trade and journeying on to America's first Black restaurateurs and sit-ins at diner counters, there's no facet of culinary life too small to be interwoven with Black American history, and Harris eagerly explores them all while painting a vivid picture for her readers. this book will absofuckinglutely make you hungry, so it's a good thing that recipes are included in the back.

Gay Bar: Why We Went Out (Jeremy Atherton Lin, 2021) - a heady powerhouse of a read, seamlessly blending the historical with the editorial with the personal. Lin's on a journey to resurrect the history of the gay bars that shaped he and his husband's intertwined lives - from their roots before his time, the state he found them in as a young man searching for a place in the queer scene, and their apparently dwindling status in the 2020s. Lin's writing is dreamy and grimy, unflinching and romantic, horny and bored all at once. this isn't an uncritical glorification of the gay bar but an interrogation, the pressing question of what community even means and where on earth it's going.

D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding (Chencia C. Higgins, 2022) - that's right, still on that kick of reading one romance novel a month. if you spend any amount of time perusing lists of LBGT book recs, particularly LBGT romances, it's inevitable that you'll run into D'Vaughn and Kris. this book has so much #representation that it's pretty much catnip for list compilers: both leads are Black lesbians, D'Vaughn is fat and not yet out to her very Christian mother, and Kris is a butch Afro-Latina (and also part of the most marginalized community of all: influencers). but what about the story, is that actually good? straight up no, not at all; I feel pretty comfortable saying this is maybe my least favorite of the romance novels I've read so far. totally aside from lackluster writing, clunky exposition, and slapdash plotting, this book is uninterested in engaging with its central premise - Kris and D'Vaughn meet on a reality show where they are paired up to plan a wedding in 6 weeks without letting their families figure out that their relationship is a sham - to such an absurd and infuriating degree that I have to wonder why Higgins even bothered.

that's all for now, June will hopefully be MUCH more full considering I've already finished three books and still have nearly three weeks to go + a whole heap of queer books checked out from the library! xoxo

[inkabelledesigns]

18 and 25 for the writer's ask meme!

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

For Searching the Depths, I had it in my old drafts that there was a secretary that knew Sammy had a sweet tooth and kept candy in her drawers specifically for him. It has absolutely no bearing on the plot whatsoever, but it's a really nice detail and it's still a part of the world lore, regardless of whether or not I choose to call it out again later.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. I'm going to put this under the cut, because it's a little long, but oh boy I have so much to say about this. I'm going to give you a dialogue exchange, also from Searching the Depths, for a chapter that's a long way from being released, something that happens within the ink realm that absolutely tears me to shreds.

Bella cried out. "I didn't know it was REAL! I-I never would've messed with it if I had, I swear-" 

"Kid, why are you apologizing? You did the right thing." Jack asked. 

"We don't know that!" Sammy hissed. "We had a plan, a way out! Now everything is thrown out the window! We have to start from square one and we're running out of time!" 

The more he barked, the more she shrank away from him, unable to meet his gaze. 

"Things weren't any more certain before and you know it." Jack crossed his arms. "Even with the same events repeating over and over again, Joey STILL had all the power. If it's not his story anymore, then he's not in control. And that gives us a fighting chance!" 

"Oh please, like that'll stop him." Sammy huffed. "From where I'm standing, our future is more uncertain than ever!" 

"Well then we'll just have to do our best and make it better, won't we?" Jack held his hands on his hips. "Sam, come on, look at her. She didn't mean for this, ease up will ya?"

"I'm with Jack on this one." Bendy piped up. "If we're really gonna play the blame game, I'm the winner here. None of this would be so dire if I hadn't gone meddling." 

"My lord-"

"No, Sam…it's true. I wouldn't even be your lord if I hadn't poked around where I shouldn't have." He sighed. "But I was a young idea back then, I had to grow up, make mistakes." He looked at Bella. "Same goes for you."

She sniffled as she looked back at him. "This is more than a mistake. This is a critical error. I can't- I helped do something even worse than what you were already going through, that's- it's unforgivable."

"...He tricked you, just like he did all of us." Jack looked at her sadly, connecting the dots. "Found someone desperate to exploit. You…at least you tried to make something good out of it. It's more than I can say."

This entire sequence is so near and dear to my heart. I have been trying to find the right way to introduce the concept of Bella finding out she's trapped in a story for the longest time, but one of the things that's changed within my drafts is that it's her draft of the story that she's in. I realized along the way that I'm not interested in writing the story of BATIM beat for beat, I wanna put my own spin on it and have some events that aren't in that original. So having a naive artist mess with the cycle without realizing she's affected real people on the inside until it's too late? Now you're talkin'! And now that the ink has claimed its newest victims, there's so much in store for everyone in its grasp.

This conversation was originally very exposition-y, some parts of it still are, with Bendy as the one to explain what's going on, but it's grown so much to be so much more. For one, Jack got an upgrade to main character trio status. He wasn't even in this scene originally. Two, Bendy and Sammy got a major characterization glow-up that I am so grateful for. I love how angry Sammy gets here, his frustration in this and the text that surrounds it is really fun to write. He's an interesting mix of his human self and his prophet self, and having Jack know how to navigate this angrier side of him is great. They bounce off of each other REALLY WELL. Also Bendy, gosh, Bendy has so much more to lose and so much he's already lost when it comes to this. He mirrors Henry's feelings of thinking this is all his fault (something something like father like son), but instead of trying to take on everything by himself, he's being open and honest about his feelings and relying on his allies for things he can't do alone. He's shown a remarkable amount of growth as I've gotten to know him more.

I can say the same about Bella. She's another character who sees herself as a responsible party and grows paralyzed when she's not sure how to fix it. She has a significant lack of belief in herself, which was important to show early on, but with these three by her side, she'll learn that she can be so much more. This is a character that life just kind of happens to, she feels no control over her situation, and it's true, there's a lot she doesn't have the power to do. But there's a lot she can do with what she has, and I can't wait for her to figure that out and forge her own path with these guys. She may be helpless and crying now, but that's not gonna be the case forever.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was the first one in my box, but I had to really think about it before I was ready to answer. I'm still accepting submissions for the writer's ask game if any of you wish to join me for some fun!

[pencilxpaper]

Mostly FREE Vampire Books

I am not as well-read with vampires, but I'm making up for lost time. Here are the vampire books I have read and my take on them.

In this, Carmilla, Dracula, For the Blood is the LIfe, Already Dead, I am Legned, and the first three novels of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. For all books, I will try to include a link to either a free version or to a borrowable version from the internet archive. You can make an account and check out the books legally.

Carmilla by LeFanu, Joseph Sheridan

The classic. The one, the only. It's a short read, which is disappointing. However, the ending is very gory with a scene that would have looked amazing in a modern movie. If you want a steamy reading of the novel on audio book, Audible has THIS beauty with a full cast and some heavy breathing. However, this audiobook version is provided free by the internet archive.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

I love this book. I did Dracula Daily this year, and I'll probably do it again next year. I'm going to listen to the audiobook of it for funsies. The beginning is, i think, the best part. The ending was disappointing, but the novel is still very exciting and scary.

For the Blood is the Life By F. Marion Crawford

I feel like this short story is actually a better example of a "modern" vampire story. I've read a lot of older vampire stories, and they all are a little too steeped in old lore to be really satisfying as a modern reader. However, this one has everything. A really creepy beginning. An exciting story. A romantic vampire seduction leads to potential death. The vampire is a woman and justified, so in a modern retelling, I think she would be the hero.

I am Legend by Richard Matheson

I read this on audiobook at 2x speed, because the POV character is kind of a jerk. An interesting look at trying to explain vampirism from a scientific perspective. It does not have the same ending as the movie by the same name. Misogyny abounds. But a woman ends up winning in the end so... maybe? I will admit, I'm still not sure how I feel about this one. On the one hand, it was engaging. I enjoyed the author trying to explain away the lore from a logical perspective.

Interview with a Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and Queen of the Damed

Interview with a Vampire was a fine book. I read it at the same time I was reading Dracula for the first time, and there were definitely moments where Dracula outshined it, but then others where Interview was obviously more interesting because it was more modern. The movie is more engaging and a shorter investment of time. However, Armond is different in this one, so you kind of have to read it to get the next book (OR, watch the movie and read the Wikipedia summary of the book to get the differences). Vampire Lestat is a really good book for the most part. It lags after the middle but picks back up for the ending. I could have read more about Lestat's early days, and I could care less about all the exposition. Queen of the Damned was not a fun read. I can not stress this enough. It was mostly boring. I only read it because I've been told you have to read it to enjoy the rest of the series, which gets better. Lots of exposition. Any chapter in Letsat's POV is great. Everything else is not very exciting. Overall, I don't like Anne Rice. I HATE that her vampires communicate telepathically. It's cool and all, but it makes for very boring reading. Entire chapters where the characters are standing still in a room, not saying anything, not doing anything, while one of them "talks" to the other about the past with their mind. There was real potential here to "show" us what was happening, but oh no. It's all done through exposition. It was really innovative for its time, but because so much of her lore has been incorporated into modern vampire stuff, it doesn't feel fresh anymore. Especially when we get to Queen of the Damned, Anne feels very pretentious in her writing. She includes poems from her husband that I don't feel like add anything to the text, and in fact take you right out of it because you're reminded that she's literally including her husband's poetry. ALL THAT SAID, the books provide that FEELING of wanting to read vampire fiction. They're very atmospheric, so I will continue to read them and enjoy them for that aspect.

Already Dead by Charlie Hudson

The only non-free one on the list. I included it, because I read it. Main character is a vampire detective, but he doesn't have fangs. I think vampirism is a stand-in for AIDS, but that's a guess. An interesting concept and I did sort of enjoy the read, but it lacks (for me) the classic vampire lore to make it really fun.

That's all for now. More later as I can pull them to gether.

@rinniiart, I hope this wasn't too much. I wanted to take some time and find free versions of things as I went so you and others wouldn't have to shell over a lot of money.