#i enjoyed it too much im thinking of making a loki one

[fandomchaosposts]

I made my aziraphale bracelet 😊 now my Crowley one has company 😌😌

[daisybell17]

Loki’s Birthday!

You knew Loki wasn’t all too familiar with surprises and so you woke him up with a breakfast plate instead

“happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you!” you sung quietly, walking in with the tray

Loki slowly woke up and saw you and your cute face singing and carrying a tray of food

“good morning my love” he smiled looking at you and sitting up

You sat the plate of food on his lap and gave him a long kiss

“happy birthday my love”

“mhm thank you honey”

“so…what does the birthday boy want to do today?” you asked as you ran your hand up and down his chest

“just want to spend my day with you” he smiled

“we can do that, but remember we have your birthday dinner tonight” Loki groaned, remembering the event

“do we really have to go? I just want to stay here with you” He said as his hand grabbed your chin

“mhm yes my love we have too! your friends are all going to be there” You gave in and kissed him

“really?”

“yes love now go and eat the birthday breakfast i made you” you kissed him once more and went in for a shower

“thank you for cooking my love you know how much I love your food”

“always!” you shouted as you got in the shower

You and Loki got ready for the day since you had about 10 hours to kill before his birthday celebration

“so…what would you like to do today my love?” You asked, placing your arms around his neck

“hmmm you know what? i want to try something a little more…daring” He smiled

“Oh? Like what my dear? I assume this activity is one of Midgardian invention then”

“You could say that…Well Mobius recommended this excellent idea to me!”

“Oh don’t tell me its jet skiing? You know that’s his favourite activity to do.” You say, not really wanting to get wet today

“Oh not that my love…its another activity…just trust me ok?” He pleaded

“Ok ok! I trust you…anything you want today birthday boy”

You followed him…blindly…worse mistake of the day

“LOKI ARE YOU CRAZY?!”

“WHAT? CANT HEAR YOU LOVE” The wind thrashing against you both

“I SAID ARE YOU CRAZY?!”

“OH…YES! I THINK THIS WAS A GREAT BIRTHDAY IDEA”

“IM GOING TO KILL YOU”

“NO YOU WONT YOU LOVE ME!”

“LOKI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DROP ME IM GOING TO STAB YOU”

“JUST TRUST ME LOVE, MOBIUS SAID SKYDIVING WAS EASY!”

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN TRUST MOBIUS?! LOKI IM GOING KI- AHHHHHH”

“WOOOOOO!!!”

Loki took you skydiving on Midgard and he had an absolute blast while you passed out from fear

Landing safely on the ground you looked furious at Loki

“Love, ok let me just say you said i can do anything for my birthday!”

“YES I DID…BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU WANTED TO GO SHOPPING!? OR HAVE A PICNIC?! OR VISIT THE GARDENS! OR HELL…SEX! PASSIONATE, HOT, HEAVY AMAZING LOVE MAKING SEX BUT NOOOO SKYDIVING!”

“Hey! I still want the passionate, hot, heavy and amazing love making se-”

“NOPE”

“awh come on! did you not enjoy skydiving? its something off both our bucket list!”

“hmph”

“love…i know you know we weren’t in any actual danger, i have magic remember?”

”i know just scary….”

“love I would never hurt you…never”

You smiled “I know….it was just so sudden…” you sighed… “did you enjoy your activity for the day my love?”

“i did…and I especially liked it because you were with me” He smiled at you and gave a longing kiss

“I love you idiot” you say as you pulled apart

“Love you too my darling” Loki said back. He loved you so much and this day was one of his favourites

“Ok! So…your birthday dinner?”

“Yes! Hmm but how about scuba diving with sharks befo-”

“I don’t want to hear another word of it” You say sternly

“Just joking my love, lets go, I look forward to seeing my friends…and you can get mad at Mobius too”

You smiled “Ok ok I love you…Loki you mean everything to me”

He blushed “And you are the answer to my life my love…i love you.”

——————————————————————————

(a/n): it’s loki day!! everyone say happy birthday loki!! bbg is holding the timeline everyday i wish she had a break today :( ill hold it for you <//3 but yes happy birthday loki mwah!

[kratioed]

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐅𝐈 & 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐈 , 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐊𝐈

It’s clear that Hel will one day appear in future releases, as hinted in both GOW(2018) and GOWR, but anyone who is a myth enthusiast knows that Loki had other children besides his monstrous offspring in Norse Mythology because interestingly enough, GOW’s wiki community decided to include "Narfi & Váli" despite no evidence of their existence whatsoever throughout the Norse era.

Of course, it’s also a fandom site; while they can be a reliable source, said sources on their encyclopedia are sometimes inaccurate. Knowing the impossibility of their existence, I also thought about how they can coexist throughout GOW.

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟐/𝟏/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Recently, the GOW's wiki community updated Atreus' "uncertain future" category and the links to Váli's & Narfi's wiki pages no longer existed. Doesn't mean it'll stop me from enjoying my fun. 😎🔥💯

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟐/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Nevermind, they're mentioned on Angrboða's wiki page for some reason…Váli & Narfi aren't the same as Fenrir & Jörmungandr ☝️🤓 but okay. ☠

And the more I thought about it, the more apparent it became that they’re essential for the franchise…but it’s more like my personal headcanon rather than my “crack” theory so might as well call this an AU for shits and giggles. I thought it would be fun to share my overly long detailed analysis with those who are fixated on Atreus’ other (im)possible children as much as I am because I need this to get it out of my system since they have been living rent-free in my head for almost a year just now. This blog is now officially a Narfi & Váli stan account and Kratos would have LOVED his grandsons if they ever appeared in GOW, but it's very unlikely that would happen. This analyis is going to be a long one so bear with me!

I think it would be poetic for GOW to end off including Narfi & Váli (alongside Atreus) for the final conclusion of the franchise; and yes, Hel would be an adult in this timeskip, contrary to popular belief that they were children in Norse Mythology. Despite their unfortunate demise, their backgrounds are nothing like their half-siblings’ in the Norse Mythos, making them the most ordinary of all Loki’s children. But you know what? The concept of Narfi & Váli being the epitome of normality of all Loki’s offspring gave me an a idea...I’m not sure if anyone has noticed, but Narfi & Váli exhibit some similarities to Kratos & Deimos.

Before the Olympians (Athena & Ares) pursued one of the brothers due to a doomsday prophecy, Kratos & Deimos believed they were mere mortals during childhood as they still fit the epitome of normality as children, similarly to Narfi & Váli. They’re also gods at birth, but the only difference is that Narfi & Váli most likely knew about their divine nature, whereas Kratos (excluding Deimos) only discovered it later in adulthood (a silly parallel, but I still think it counts).

Another example would be in the parallel dynamics of Váli & Kratos, as they both had experiences where they succumbed to their primal instincts in different circumstances; Váli unwillingly turned into a wolf and killed his brother driven by primal instincts under the Æsir’s (or presumably Odin’s) influence, almost similar to how Kratos was deceived and unaware, killed his first wife and daughter fueled by his primal desire for blood under Ares’ influence. While Váli’s fate remains unknown after Loki's Punishment, we can infer that both Váli & Kratos are the only survivors other than their brother.

While the deaths of Narfi & Deimos are an obvious parallel, they're also linked to Bounds and Punishment in distinct ways; like Váli, Narfi was punished with his entrails used as bounds in retribution against his father, as well as due to his relation with Loki while Deimos, on the other hand, was bound and punished due to his existence as the "Marked Warrior" (same thing goes with Kratos since he too was also bound and punished at one point in Ascension).

On top of that, they were also subjected to violence as children inflicted by Gods. Consequently, it ultimately led the downfall of both Æsir & Olympians, as predicted by their prophecy. The prophecy of the "Marked Warrior" bringing destruction upon Olympus began the moment they abducted Deimos. The sufferings of Kratos' family (including Sparta and Pandora) at the hands of Gods contributes the downfall of Olympus. Their tragedies are the major cause of Kratos' justified vengeance to destroy the entire pantheon, ultimately leading the devastation of the Greek world.

In Norse Mythology (with my limited knowledge); the Æsir's (mostly Odin's) retaliation on Loki's monstrous children, particularly Fenrir, due to prophecies contributes their downfall in Ragnarök, especially with their involvement in Loki's Punishment. However, I believe that the suffering of Narfi & Váli at the hands of Æsir Gods is the primary cause for Loki's justified desire for vengeance. The Æsir's use of Narfi's entrails, his own son, as restraints adds insult to injury, intensifying Loki's anger. Obviously, Loki joined forces with those against Æsir Gods with his army of Hel's people while the events of Ragnarök lead the devastation throughout the lands.

But since this is GOW, I found this YouTube comment (which I've kept for quite some time) that perfectly said my thoughts out loud:

With the absence of Loki's Punishment; not only Kratos saved Narfi & Váli from Æsir's (particularly Odin's) wrath, he also prevented a similar tragedy that would inflict upon his grandsons the same way that Gods once inflicted upon him and Deimos as children, in which, fits the overall theme of subverting prophecies in GOWR.

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Santa Monica could have easily had Atreus name his sons "Narfi & Váli" as everyone expected from Norse Mythology. But given Santa Monica's innovative approach to myth characters through creative liberties, using "Narfi & Váli" wouldn't work within the narrative structure of GOW's distinct retelling of Greek/Norse Mythology.

From what I've heard, there has been a debate about whether "Váli" is a son of Odin or Loki, or both Valis existed as sperate characters. Additionally, in GOWR, there's already a boss character named Vali (The Oath Guard), which I assumed (correct me if I'm wrong) it's a cultural practice for parents to name their child after a Norse figure in Scandinavian countries, but I find it unlikely for Atreus to name one of his children after an Æsir or any God in general. Similarly, Narfi shares a name with another Giant unrelated to Loki whatsoever...but given the wide variety of Gods and other myth characters we've seen from Greek Mythology depicted in GOW, it wouldn't be surprising if other Narfi, and particularly, Váli Odinson were to mentioned or featured in future releases.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍: If you're not aware or need a reminder, Atreus gets to learn about Deimos during "Animal Instincts" side quest. Whether you choose to bring Atreus or Freya doesn't matter, it doesn't change the fact that Santa Monica had intended for Atreus to know about his uncle, it's still canon either way.

Atreus' identity has roots that go beyond his Norse counterpart (both symbolically and narrative wise along with the origins of his Greek name) and very likely that Santa Monica would take a similar approach with "Hel" in future releases (I've seen people suggest her name could be Faye/Laufey or Calliope, or even Callisto or Angrboða's mother). It's only fair that "Narfi & Váli" should get the same treatment…so imagine how moving it would be if Atreus were to name his sons after Kratos & Deimos.

"Váli" 𝐊𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒 𝐈𝐈, named after his grandfather, transformed from a monster into a benevolent God due to his ability to change and open his heart, representing the beacon of hope...

And "Narfi" 𝐃𝐄𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐒 𝐈𝐈, named after his great uncle, whom Atreus had known but never met (but wishes they had), honored his uncle by naming his youngest son after him.

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟑/𝟕/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Just recently discovered in Greek Culture, it's common for children to be named after their grandparents, in which, aligns with my case for "Váli" to be named after his grandfather! While "Narfi" is named after his great-uncle, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong) the naming tradition also involves material/paternal relatives, which is fitting within the context of GOW. ^^

There are hearsay, or statements from Cory Barlog, that Kratos couldn't bring himself to name his son after his brother due to past memories…Atreus, on the other hand, seems open to the idea of naming one of his own children after his uncle he never met.

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐅𝐈 & 𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈/𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Besides Narfi Lokison and other Narfi, their accounts become somewhat unclear when Narfi's brother is addressed as "Nari." This time, it's Narfi who turns into a wolf and kills Nari. However, some sources later changed Narfi's name to Váli, both in historical texts and modern media...

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟏/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Initially, I thought this version was made based on the notion that Váli was Odin's son rather than Loki's. But after some further investigation, I'm inclined to believe that Váli is a singular character while Narfi & Nari are Loki's sons. It's also possible that "Narfi/Nari" is referred as the same character, as the belief that Váli is Loki's son is a common mistake in today's media. It would have been so easy to overlook the mistranslation and go along with the usual understanding of "Narfi & Váli"…but thinking about it now, this could actually work within the narrative structure as prophecies are ambiguously depicted in GOWR.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍: "Váli & Narfi" (or "Narfi & Nari") can shapeshift into wolves. Not only it emphasizes their connection with Atreus/Loki, but as a reflection of Kratos & Deimos through Speki & Svanna.

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟔/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: This might be a overreach...but if Kratos' presumption that Speki & Svanna were boys did reflect something, then it could be described as a projection of his experiences as a military general as well as an extension of subconscious affection. For Kratos' case, people form stronger bonds with animals than with human (and Gods) since often times they can be deceitful/malicious, conceited, narrow-minded, backstabbing, or calculatively manipulative through obligations/false promises while animals (wolves) would instead be much more pragmatic about survival and tender care.

Speki & Svanna (+Fenrir) have been usefully vigilant and reliable wolves that aid him and Atreus, and given the history of humans surviving in collaboration with animals, there is precedence for Kratos subconsciously associating the wolves with memories of Spartan warriors he had by his side almost as though they were his own family, where survival relied on the coordination of his armies and the care given to ensuring that his men were left standing after battle.

This can very easily be associated in the mind as symbolic of a dedicated and responsible soldier as a result from a pivotally formative part of his life revolved around the Sparta's military…and out of remorse (for the casualties of people under his care amidst the war he's wrought) and love (for those who've either perished or lived as well as the people who stood by him), it felt plausible that he could've associated this with Speki & Svanna (shout out to my irl friend for cooking this up!).

Regardless, I can also imagine this as a foreshadow of Kratos' doting relationship with his future grandsons (delulu)!

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 (𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟏/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒): As much as I adore the relationship between Kratos and his grandsons, I personally think it would be better if they never met in person (rest assured, Hel is fortunate enough to know their grandfather as a child). As I mentioned before, Narfi & Váli should appear by the end of the franchise, and what better way to conclude Kratos' journey than being remembered as the benevolent God even after his death?

Kratos once quoted, "Death can have me, when it earns me" might foreshadow his potential death for the final installment. Given that Kratos had "died" in previous games and even evaded his predicted "death" in GOWR, I think it would be flitting to conclude his journey if the franchise comes to an end (in which, would have opted Atreus to name one of his sons after their grandfather). But it's just a personal theory of mine, so I digress.

Narfi & Váli serves as character foils for Kratos & Deimos, illustrating their childhood origins from Ghost of Sparta to the narrative's conclusion with Narfi & Váli emerging at the end. With wisdom gained from experiences and mistakes, Atreus, aged with greying hair, gazes at his sons and feels as if his father and uncle are reunited once again…relieving their childhood they never had as children.

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: If you made it this far, then congratulations! Here's a quick (and old) sketch of my variant of Váli would look like:

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟕/𝟐𝟏/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒: Tried my best to replicate his facial structure. He's basically Kratos 2.0 with a decent childhood who smiles a lot more than his grandfather ever did in Sparta (he also has his grandfather's eyes and freckles from his father). Narfi, on the other hand, looks a lot more like his father with Deimos' iconic birthmark. They're basically Wolf Children and Brother Bear combined (I never watch either of those movies, but it's the vibes I'm get from them)! ^^

[gloriousburden]

though im also critical of it, ragnarok is one of my favs especially cus it endeared me with brodinson interactions (shoutout elevator scene) but after that, i didnt like future loki portrayals. it somewhat flipped loki's aspirations, although i liked how he really seemed a god of mischief i wished for more digging into that. if i said "country boys make do" and did what what i could, then i look at loki betraying thor once more as his warped way of saying "we've come to deeper understanding of e/o more and idk how to be your brother but i want to, this is all i know." (i imagine his ass is that type in fights "IDC! LEAVE! *wants them to stay* i feel frigga was the only person who saw that in him growing up and was there).

coulson did say to him "you lack conviction"; loki's always kind of struggling with himself to find his genuine purpose whether w/ being a king or a brother.

after that though i didnt care for loki they just took his popularized character traits and made him shout them out every second "hehe thats just what loki does!" and things i wanted delved into weren't addressed, or when they were it was poorly. i only seen season 1 but its loki content i just distance from

personally, i liked loki's personality shining in ragnarok. but like this time tom hiddleston said "loki should be an entertaining character but also that there should be a shred of truth" thats how i feel. about all future loki. i think they saw the numbers that loki did in ragnarok, and then on fucked up portraying him, and his depth

hi i sincerely apologize for seeing this so late 💔

personally, during my initial mcu watch, i did actually kind of enjoy ragnarok. although i did realize it’s issues such as pretty much everyone’s characterization (but especially loki’s), the way odin’s death was… Not as serious as it should’ve been, the way everything was too Haha funny joke, korg, the racist thor/bruce joke (which i will actually make a post about eventually), etc…

i did think it was a fun movie. it wasn’t until i rewatched it for a second time, after rewatching the thor movies/avengers 2012 that i realized.. yeah, this isn’t really that good and the earlier movies featuring thor, loki, or asgardians in general really were better.

personally, i prefer the humorous side of loki’s personality more in the dark world over the one in ragnarok. he was being funny and joking around, but it didn’t feel forced. it still felt like loki. in ragnarok, to me at least, it felt very forced and off for loki’s character. in the dark world, they didn’t necessarily have to belittle loki’s character and make him the laughing stock of the movie to make him funny. in ragnarok, they did.

and of course we see that continue a thousand times worse in the s*ries.

you are so right about the popularized character traits point. it’s like when people gossip about something, and as the word gets out to more people, it loses context and only leaves the very basic details of the gossip in the first place. that’s what they did with loki, pretty much. but that a thousand times over if this analogy even makes sense.

honestly do not even bother watching season 2 if you already know about the ending. i actually do think it was a little better than the first season. it was a little more interesting as well. but loki’s characterization was still HORRIFIC. there’s this interrogation type scene with one of the newer characters, this guy who works at the tva, and i guess they tried to make loki seem as though he’s still mischievous and working on his own accord instead of a goody two-shoes, pushover or whatever. idk man. whatever it was, it didn’t work.

and also they put this scene where he’s basically crying over mobius and various other tva workers to sylvie saying that he misses his friends (the friends in question being mobius and the most random tva workers ever) ??? 😭😭😭 i really do not believe that his ass was that devastated over these random ass characters who did not care about him…

basically, his personality was still more that of a silly little english man (not in a good way, trust me.) who works in a cubicle rather than a literal god/prince who speaks very eloquently and in old english. (taking this as an opportunity to say that i miss the old english/shakespeare in the park-esque way he and thor used to speak 😔 it was so fun.)

anyway this is very all over the place and i’m probably missing a few things but thank you so much for the ask!!! it was interesting to read.

[all-i-do-is-live-in-daydreams]

Rewatched The Avengers and took notes the entire time. Many of them having to do with Loki. Please enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I am loki of asgard and I am burdened with glorious purpose" it sounds like something that was put into his mind, repeated to him over and over.

the other says the words "who (thanos) gave you ancient knowledge and new PURPOSE."

his whole spiel that he goes on about freedom could've possibly also been said to him by whoever (the Other) got into his mind and tortured him. or it's the mind stone affecting him and it's the mind stone's message to loki or whoever holds/uses it (could definitely be wrong here. just a thought)

I think people are right when they say he purposefully lost

it's made even more obvious in the scene -with The Other- at the end of their interaction that Loki has been tortured and put through immense pain. I mean he was bending over in pain and was struggling and he also looks very sick when he first shows up. TORTURED.

BRO IT'S CRAZY THOR EVEN ASKS HIM "WHO SHOWED YOU THIS POWER" AND "WHO CONTROLS THE WOULD-BE KING" BUT AFTER THAT IT'S NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN HE NEVER DELVES INTO IT AND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BROTHER IM GOING CRAZY

THE WAY LOKI HAS TEARS IN HIS EYES DURING HIS AND THOR'S CONFRONTATION IN THE AVENGERS WHEN THE CAMERA TURNS TO HIM AFTER THOR SAYS FOR HIM TO COME HOME THE LOOK ON HIS FACE BEFORE HE GOES BACK TO A SCOFFING LAUGH

WENT FROM BEING SAD TO LAYGHING I FORGOT THIS SCENE. STARK JUST RAMS INTO THOR TAKING HIM AWAY AFTER HE'S TOLD LOKI TO "LISTEN WELL BROTHER" AND LOKI AND HIS SARCASTIC ASS "I'm listening."

when did thor learn loki was working with the chitauri?? I guess a scene they didnt share during their interaction

not a note on loki but on steve. it always bugged me the way he was about orders and shit when in his own movies he's the exact opposite. he was the rule breaker the one who stopped following orders. the only reason for him to be this way I think is maybe it's because he's just got out of the ice at this point this is new and he doesnt want to rock the boat too much. I'm not sure how well that applies tho

Tom Hiddleston's acting gets me every time he's fucking fabulous my god i love him sm

I want to make out with him aggressively (loki)

phil coulson I would die for you

back to the I believe the people that say loki wanted them to win. stark is talking about how loki made it personal (killing phil) he's saying it's to tear them apart but no. it's like what fury did with the cards. it brought them together. it's the reason they were even able to win. and it's easily disguised as what stark interprets it as by them and the people controlling Loki.

on that note again. "and you've managed to piss off every single one of them." and then loki, "that was the plan." YES IT WAS

IMCRYING OMFJ "This usually works." WHEN TRYING TO CONTROL TONY 😭😭😭

THE LITTLE THINGS I NEVER NOTICED BEFORE. THOR AND LOKI ARE FIGHTING AGAIN AT STARK TOWER AND THOR IS TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO HIM AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT DOES AFFECT LOKI FROM THE LOOK ON HIS FACE BUT THEN HE STABS THOR AND MAKES TAHT COMMENT ABOUT SENTIMENT BUT !! BUT HE'S CRYING !!!!! A TEAR LITERALLY FALLS FROM HIS EYE !!

Ik he got blown up right after but loki was so hot when he caught that arrow and then leaned back with that smirk on his face

AND HE ALSO GOT SMASHED AROUND BY HULK 😭😭I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT GHAT IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY ESPECIALLY THE LITTLE WHIMPER HE LETS OUT 😭

more on the loki wanted them to win. erik was conscious enough when being controlled to create a safety feature when building the portal and everything

I don't get how people would blame the avengers for the destruction when all of it wouldve happened either way and most of them would be dead if the avengers werent there. ALSO it was a WAR maybe not a normal one but a war nonetheless. when has there EVER been a war without destruction? answer, NEVER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER

cant see loki with that thing over his mouth without thinking if the scene in endgame when it's revealed it was be cause he wouldnt shut up. I think it's so funny he was literally waging war on earth after everything with thanos and then when he's had his ass handed to him he just goes back to his little annoying shenanigans 😭 like turning into cap and mocking him. he's such a funny little guy I love him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

END.

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - April 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

@elf-punk -

Other SM names? - Discord: crumblemoon, AO3: queen_karnilla

OTP? - Destiel all the way

Other fandoms? - Doctor who, Dune, Harry Potter, Marvel (Loki specifically), Sandman

Looking for in the Pond? - Mainly to meet and hang out with other SPN fans, and share/read fanfic and headcanons! Nothing super specific.

Pairings you read? - Reader inserts/OC mainly involving spn angels (michael and cas are my favourites!)

Genres you read? - Romance, friends/enemies to lovers, angst with a resolution, all things fluffy! Will read smut as part of a longer romantic narrative, but not for the sake of it.

What do you like to write? - Reader-inserts/OC, introspectives and character studies

Masterlist!

@jinkieswouldyoulookatthis -

Other SM names? - Discord: jackiefour, AO3: jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

OTP? - Wincest (Sam/Dean)

Looking for in the Pond? - Just looking to strengthen ties with the general fandom community and it's always nice to have other writers/readers to talk with.

Pairings you read? - SamDean in all its variations, either of the brothers/reader together or separate is good too.

Genres you read? - Angst, smut, crackfics are my preferred, although some fluff is nice and appreciated too. The trope doesn't matter as much to me as the overall quality of the writing.

Favorite writer(s)? - Gah, too many amazing writers to narrow it down to a favorite, but @applecrumbledore, @dyed-red, leonidaslion, candle_beck, deadlybride immediately spring to mind.

What do you like to write? - Currently been writing wincest (SamDean) but I used to write reader inserts for both of the boys.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Probably this one because it's a body swap/gender bend with low key non-con elements to it (so I get why it doesn't get as much love as some of the others): Make A Wish

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? -I am currently working on my first long fic, just getting going on it and am a little intimidated by the scope, but I don't deal with deadlines or anything like that well, so I'm hoping that just being around other people writing and talking about writing will help keep me motivated to finish it. Basically, I'm just looking for passive motivation and community.

@i-already-know-im-going-2-hell / @aceing-on-the-cake -

Other SM names? - AO3: i_already_know_im_going_to_hell

OTP? - Honestly I think Wincestiel can't be beat when it's done well, best of both worlds

Other fandoms? - I enjoy a lot of fandoms but to be honest I'm really only making content (writing and drawing) for supernatural.

Looking for in the Pond? - Honestly I'm just looking to hang around, meet fellow writers and artists, and pick up tips and tricks along the way. I find I'm motivated so much more when I have others around me who are just as into the things I'm into.

Something to signal boost? - Honestly the only thing I'm currently working on bigger project wise is a supernatural au I'm doing a lot of drawings for. This is the original post --Guineanatural-- and it has all the links in it towards currently running polls or completed artworks.

Pairings you read? - I'm a multishipper, I will read almost any pairing that's not parent/child honestly.

Genres you read? - Angst and Hurt/Comfort are my jam. Smut, fluff and crack are great if they're included, but I'm truly there for pain of angst and then the comfort that comes after.

Favorite writer(s)? - @applecrumbledore on AO3, is the author of one of my all-time favorite Dean/Sam fics I've ever read, Acid

What do you like to write? - Angst/Comfort with a whole lot of character analysis thrown in

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Unfortunately, my bane in life is to house more fic ideas in my head than I actually ever have a reasonable amount of time to write and to have crippling adhd caused executive dysfunction, which can truly only be fixed by Earth changing to a day cycle longer than 24 hours and absolutely using body doubles in any form I can take those. The first problem truly can't be fixed by mortal men unfortunately, but for the second honestly me just hanging around with other writers or seeing other writers work on things too helps to work as a body double for my brain a lot of the time. So honestly, just hanging in the server itself and following the tumblr should be plenty of help.

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @heavenssexiestangel!

[purple-iris]

20 questions for Writers!

been tagged by @sinvulkt in this awesome Tag game! thanks a lot!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently, I have a 19 works on AO3, working on making it 20 by the end of this month

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Im at 131,179 words. Considering I have a few smaller works it makes sense

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write in the Star Wars fandom and Hetalia (but as of now solely fics that feature my APH Québec OC) But I have fics in the Good Omens fandom, Heathers the Musical, Five Nights at Freddy's Loki (TV), and I am currently writing a Harry Potter longshot

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Ring of Fire, the first part of my Deserter Darth Vader AU

What Are You Waiting For, a tragic Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer fic

Whatever's still to come, my Elizabeth Afton Lives au in the FNAF fandom

More beautiful than flowers... , a FrUK fic with lots of flower language.

Truth for the Daughter, where Leia finds out who Anakin Skywalker used to be in my Deserter Darth Vader AU

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to my comments, since I don't get so many, they are always welcome. I enjoy the feedback and the compliments, and I always want to respond! <3

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

What Are You Waiting For is definitely up there, considering one of the character of the main pairing is dead from the start.

I also have two super short fics in french about my Hetalia OC Québec that I consider gut wrenching, but they haven't been read much

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The World We Knew, my Good Omens fix it fic after the devastating season 2 finale. it definitely has a lot of angst in it too, but the ending is pure fluff!

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

It has never happened, but at the same time I'm not a big author either.

9. Do you write smut?

I tried once, didn't go through with it. It was for a FrUK fic, which I didn't really like and deleted.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Before posting on AO3, it happened, it was a Marvel characters in Hogwarts thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but once again, I'm not very well known.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I wish!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yeah, the Marvel at Hogwarts thing a lifetime ago. And also a historical fiction that never got posted anywhere.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Oooh that's a tough one! It varies like each months or so. I think I haven't even written much for it directly, but Anidala!

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My FNAF fic. I have a super long and detailed AU outline with complexe character growth and tons of family angst with the Afton and Lizzy eventually taking over Fazbear Entertainement, but I lack time. In the meantime, I made a few artworks of it under the tag elizabeth afton lives au if you are interested.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I'd say the inner monologue and the highly emotional scenes. I love to delve on the psyche and add parallels that hurt just write and use gut wrenching metaphors.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Highly action dense scenes. I struggle with the pacing because I picture it clearly in my mind and can't put it into words.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It can be nice, but considering that sometime I see it with my own language, French, and with considerable mistakes, it can be annoying. I'd avise to contact someone who speaks that language a bit to crossverify google translate, that's much more fun for speakers

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Surprisingly enough, BBC Sherlock. The fic was on Wattpad and I haven't reposted it, it was a bit mid not going to lie.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Not very controversial take, my favourite fic I've ever written is Truth for the Daughter. I've written it in the kitchen, with my own step-dad checking up on me as I struggled with some scenes. It may be full of father-daughter angst but it was written with a lot of father-daughter love. It is dedicated to my step-dad, who passed away last year because of that, and so is Interlude: A son and his father , which I completed not long before his passing. These parental fics just hold a special place in my heart <3

Well this was nice!

To conclude, I'd like to tag : @dreamingamongthestars @yaqamole @claralarmclock @phe-oh-no and any other author mutual I might have forgotten!!

[artficlly]

face the music (chapter 5)

Music College Marvel AU - Chapter 5

!frat!musician!bucky x !frat!musician!steve x !musician!femreader

Warnings: ANGST, violence, john walker (lol), mentions choking, swearing, implications of previous abuse, victim blaming, some fluff

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: im so excited for the revenge plan to unfold!! i hope you all enjoy and thank you for all the likes and reblogs !! not proof read, sorry for any typos!

chapter masterlist | main masterlist

You were sitting in one of the practice rooms on campus, lazily playing the piano to pass the time. Behind you Sharon, Scott, Peter and MJ were all crowded around a lyric book. Their group had decided on performing an original for the assignment. They had spent the last hour arguing over lyrics and rhythm. Meanwhile you amused yourself with the piano. 

The meeting with the boys yesterday had gone fine, much to your relief. After the conversation you had you felt a little more at ease around them (That’s if you weren’t kicking yourself for staring at their stupid attractive faces and bodies for too long). The four of you had sat around listening to different rock songs, ranging from classic rock to more punk sounds. You had made a list of artists whose styles you would be most comfortable replicating. The next step was for you to actually practice. 

That’s how you had ended up in the practice room, you had intended to mess around singing. You were trying to nail the raspy aesthetic a lot of female rock singers had. Sharon and Scott had heard you and come in to be nosy. It had all gone downhill from there. You had barely practiced, instead crawling back to the comfort of the piano. Due to all the arguing in the background you doubted you would’ve been able to focus on singing anyway. 

Besides the assignment, most of your worries lay with Loki. You still had yet to speak to him about everything - if anything you had been avoiding it. You weren’t sure how to bring up that (despite his current condition) you were a bit mad at him on Steve and Bucky’s behalf. You had seen him briefly that morning, face all cut and bruised, split lip and a tender nose recovering from being set. You had basically dashed out the door, much to Thor and Jane’s confusion. 

“That doesn’t flow at all!” You heard Sharon shout from somewhere behind you, Peter groaning in response. You just chuckled, continuing to play a soft melody. Surely some calming piano music would stop them from trying to kill each other? That was probably hopeful thinking.

“We should’ve just done a cover,” MJ mutters, causing Sharon to make an annoyed sound. 

“Nah, I’m enjoying this wayyy too much,” Scott says. You can practically imagine him relaxing on the couch, arms spread out over the back watching the chaos unfold. Scott always had a rather relaxed approach to life, which was in stark contrast to Sharon and Peter.

“Well, I’m not!” Peter protests, worry in his voice “We gotta nail this, we haven’t even played anything yet!”

“Chill Parker, we still have, what, a week and a half?” Scott replies, you can practically hear the grin in his voice. Peter, ever the perfectionist, was probably shitting himself wondering how he was going to get a good grade. That and the fact that he liked to be prepared for every assignment a week in advance. 

Peter doesn’t get to reply as the door to the practice room swings open with a thud.

“Hey, can’t you see this room is in use?” Sharon growls, you just roll your eyes and keep playing. Probably some freshmen who don’t understand booking rooms yet. You’d had a few of those throughout the semester. 

“Siren.” The similar deep voice calls, you feel yourself stiffen, fingers pausing their movements. Why was Bucky here? He and a few of the others had a class to attend to, which is why you had been instructed to practice singing on your own - much to your relief. 

Swiveling in the stool you sat on, you turn to face the door with a frown. In the doorway stood Bucky, Steve, Sam and Clint. Both Bucky and Steve wore concerned expressions, like there was something terribly wrong that you didn’t know. Unease rose in your stomach. What had happened? Your mind flew in several directions, did something happen with Loki? Thor? Had Stark said or done something again? You had mentioned to Bucky and Steve in passing that you were prepping for the meeting discussing John’s suspension. You had filed an official report, and with the help of the boys you could make a decent case for John’s suspension. 

“What?” You ask cautiously, Sharon and the others watch the exchange like hawks. You had explained to Sharon that you were on neutral grounds… for now. Though, you didn’t expect her to let go of her distaste anytime soon. Bucky moves closer into the room towards you, Steve hot on his heels. 

“Stark and the Board, they had the suspension meeting without us.” Bucky says, trying to keep his voice low. Everyone hears anyway. Nausea washes over you in a wave, tension squeezing your body. That’s why they both looked so stressed, and a part of you already knew what the outcome of that meeting would be. Even as you spoke with a shaky voice, deep inside you knew.

“The verdict?” You ask.

“His ban lifts tomorrow. He’s not getting suspended, just a warning.” 

There is a short pause before the room explodes. Sharon is screaming about how she’s going to kill Stark and John. Scott and Sam are grumbling quietly to each other, while Peter gives MJ a horrified expression. 

“What-!”

“They can’t just do that-?”

“What do you mean just a warning-?”

“His dad paid his way out again didn’t he-”

You can’t even find the energy to react, to scream, to cry. All of the voices of your friends melt into one. You feel numbness sweeping up from your toes all the way to your scalp. It was happening again. And it would happen again and again and again. You were trapped in this cycle, you were always stuck here because of him, because of John. You were silenced, another flame snuffed out during the fight. Maybe you were your mothers corpse, maybe you had never survived him. 

Inside your head all you could hear was roaring, angry piano keys overlapping each other into a nightmarish symphony. Voices all screaming over and over and over until you couldn’t even make out what you were trying to think anymore, it was just pure wrath and white noise. 

Your eyes meet Bucky’s, then Steve’s. You swear there is fear in their gaze as they observe your demeanor. 

Without a word, you reach into your bag. Digging past your folders of sheet music, you dig out a smaller, thinner folder. Inside were all your notes for the suspension meeting, you had stayed up half the night compiling all the details. It recounted your experience, what had happened to Loki. It had Bucky and Steve’s personal accounts of the situation. You had even gone as far as to include details of fights you had previously witnessed John get into on campus. You weren’t pushing for his expulsion, rather his accountability. And for him to get the help he needed to deal with his alcoholic and violent tendencies. 

“Y/N-” Sharon called to you, but you were already out the door. 

“Fuck.” You heard Steve hiss, then the sounds of footsteps as the two of them followed you down the hall. You didn’t slow down or stop to allow them to catch up, instead directly marching through the twisting halls towards the main office. 

“Y/N wait-” Bucky calls out to you, but you’ve already slipped past Stark’s assistant and stormed into his office. 

Stark gives you a look of slight surprise. The way he is holding himself, leaning back in his leather chair, nursing a glass of whiskey… he obviously knew to expect you. You slam the folder down onto his desk. He arches an eyebrow at it, then at Steve and Bucky who stand in the doorway. 

“Come in, close the door behind you.” Stark says with a sigh. You cross your arms over your chest, tapping your foot as you wait for the boys to move. 

“You had the suspension meeting without us.” You hiss, you see Steve and Bucky hesitantly move to your side without being too close. You wondered how they had picked up on how you didn’t like to be touched so quickly. You were probably touch starved, in retrospect. But the idea of anyone touching you when you felt like this was repulsive. 

“The board decided it was a private matter.” Stark says, taking a sip from his whiskey. He was so calm, relaxed even. It boogled your mind how easily he could dismiss your feelings.

“Bullshit!” You practically explode, “John Walker’s father paid them off, and you know it.”

Stark assesses you with another sigh, leaning forward to flick through some of the pages of the file. He barely skims the words, hardly taking the time to read a single word. He doesn’t care, you realize. He never actually fucking cared.

“The board decided that because this was his first offense, that it only warranted a warning.” Stark says, you scoff with a shake of your head. 

“First offense? You and everyone else in this school know this isn’t the first time.” You spit. You can feel Steve nervously shift beside you. You can’t tell if he’s more nervous for himself, or for you. He had shown concern for your scholarship before. Yelling at the head of the school probably wasn’t the best idea to ensure you kept said scholarship. 

“It’s the first time Walker has ever been reported. The board only deals with official reports, not rumors.” Stark says, closing the file without a second look. Of course they would use some excuse like that, it was easier to just ignore all the mounting evidence and make a profit. 

“I want a second suspension meeting. One where I can testify.” You say, standing your ground. You swear you can see Bucky send Steve a smile, like he’s proud of you. Or that he agrees with what you said. You don’t put much thought into it.

“I mean, I can ask. It’s up to the board,” Stark offers, leaning back in his chair. You know the offer is empty, he’s just pretending to care. The whole richboy, rockstar persona was seeping through, he was looking down his nose at you like you were just another groupie to use and shake off.

“Seriously?” You scoff.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. My hands are tied.” Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Bucky’s jaw clench a bit at the word sweetheart. Fucking patronising. In any other situation you would’ve flushed red in embarrassment, would’ve backed away the moment you were spoken down to. 

“So I’m just supposed to go back to normal? Act like one of my classmates didn’t try to choke me to death?” You say pointedly. Bucky shifts closer to you, like he’s expecting to have to hold you back. Although, from the look in his eyes, the way his hands are curled into fists… maybe you would be the one holding him back. Stark sighs, shrugging. 

“I don’t know. Maybe just try going to less parties? I’m sure a smart girl like you can avoid riling him up again.” You don’t realize that you’re gripping onto Steve’s arm for support until he moves closer to you. It’s almost like an invisible boundary has been crossed, that you reaching for him allowed him to step as close as he had wanted to. You usually didn’t like touch, being crowded by people you didn’t know well. This felt different, this felt comforting. You’re sure if you hadn’t leaned into him, he would’ve snapped at Stark. You can practically feel the waves of resentment rolling off of him. 

“We should get going, we have to go get lunch.” Bucky speaks up, his voice sounds strained. He’s holding back from yelling, you can tell. “When will we hear back? About if there will be a second meeting?” 

“Tomorrow morning.” Stark replies, sliding the file towards Bucky who catches it easily. None of you speak or say goodbye as you leave the room. Bucky gently places a hand on your shoulder, guiding you into the hallway wordlessly. 

*

The next morning, Steve and Bucky are waiting for you like fucking guard dogs. They both were on edge, much like yourself. You had barely got any sleep, tossing and turning in your sheets late into the night. After Stark’s office, the two of them had eaten lunch with you. It had been quite a tense, you barely ate a bite. You felt sick, fucking disgusted at the idea that John would be allowed anywhere near you. Despite your quietness, Steve had muttered and mumbled the entire time about how badly he wanted to kill both Stark and John. Bucky had just watched you carefully, his worried expression growing deeper the more time went on. 

The sight of them waiting outside had melted away some of your stress, which hurt to admit. They looked so fucking hot, bundled up to avoid the morning chill, worried yet happy expressions as soon as they spotted you. Despite your exhaustion, you had managed a friendly smile and a quiet ‘good morning’. 

They escorted you to Stark’s office where the unfortunate news met you. The board had denied your request, you weren’t surprised. After some thought, you knew that the Board was firmly bought out by John’s father. There was an air of  defeated disappointment as the three of you slowly headed to class. The plan was to meet Sam in the main classroom when he arrived, before the four of you headed to a practice room you had booked in yesterday. 

“Siren,” Bucky spoke up for the first time since Stark’s office, you looked at him with a hum, still half lost in thought. “You’re gonna keep trying, right? With this whole suspension thing?”

You chewed on that question for a second. A part of you said yes, but the other was so tired, so exhausted. It was the part of your brain that always lay down and took the beating whenever things got hard. There was always that rage, that anger burning inside of you. But sometimes you didn’t know what to do with it, or how to manifest it into something real. It was just always there, screaming inside your head for you to do something other than quietly survive. 

“I guess. I mean, it’s hard to know where to go from here? I guess just keep collecting evidence, encourage people to actually report him…” You trail off with a sigh, Steve frowns at you. 

“You know we’re here to support you right? To help you.” Steve offers, bumping his shoulder with yours. You give him a small smile in return. You hope he doesn’t see the small blush that spreads over your cheeks. You were glad that in Stark’s office - when you had shut down and leaned on Steve for support - that you hadn’t gushed like a fucking schoolgirl. That would’ve been embarrassing. Maybe the shock of it all had helped cover your satisfaction that they once again came to support you. 

“Just because you want to get on my good side, Rogers?” You tease, he rolls his eyes at you. 

“I would like to think we would’ve helped you, even if we weren’t the cause of this.” Bucky offers. Your heart skips a beat. You disliked how your body responded to even the slightest kindness from them. 

“It’s fucked up,” Steve agrees. You hope neither of them have noticed how hot your face has become. 

“Yup,” you say, keeping your voice steady. “Definitely fucked up.” 

You smile back at them as you push open the classroom door. You are too oblivious, too content watching Bucky and Steve to be aware of your surroundings. You don’t catch the tension in the room, the uncomfortable looks on Yelena and Kate’s faces from across the room. You don’t get a chance to feel the foreboding dread in your stomach before you’re shoved into a nearby wall. 

“There you are, you fuckin bitch.” John hisses at you, forearm pressed against your collarbone as he holds you against the wall. “I heard you’ve been trying to get me suspended.”

You are frozen in a mixture of horror and shock. That face, those hands. He’s been stuck in your head since the weekend. His hands on your throat, his body pressed against yours. You would be able to feel those imprints forever, his violence permanently branded on your body. Except the brand was invisible to everyone but you. The panic, the fear, you can feel it bubbling into your throat- 

John was against you for less than a few seconds before he was violently ripped away and pushed across the room. Chairs tumbled across the floor as John’s body fell on top of them, he doesn’t complain, only letting out a low chuckle. Kate yelps from across the room, basically climbing into Yelena’s lap. All you can do is gasp in a sharp breath, hand flying to your chest out of instinct. 

“Don’t even fucking try it, Walker,” Bucky growls, putting himself between you and John. Steve is at your side as well, eyes scanning your face with distress. He doesn’t seem to want to touch you while you’re so panicked. How did he know? Did he notice all the times you flinched or cowered away? You can’t help but be thankful as you try to catch your breath and calm the panic attack brewing in your chest. 

“Oh? You’re getting involved in this too, Barnes?” John laughs bitterly at Bucky as he staggers to his feet. He looks as rough as he did the last time you saw him, two black eyes from his broken nose, a half healed split lip, bruising across his left cheekbone. 

“Get the fuck out of here before I make you.” Bucky snarls roughly, you watch as John sizes him up and decides better of it. That is probably the smartest decision John had ever made, not picking a fight with the man with a metal fucking arm. John just shrugs with another dark chuckle, storming out the classroom door. He nearly bowls straight into Sam, who takes one look at John, Bucky, the state of the classroom and whistles lowly. 

“I don’t even want to know what I missed.” Sam comments. Bucky just laughs at that, which relieves some of the tension in your chest.    

“You okay?” Steve murmurs from beside you, you had almost forgotten he was there in your panic. His voice is low, you can almost hear how it would rumble in his chest. The look he gives you is heated, you have to look away for a moment and lean all your weight on the wall behind you. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes to the fucking rescue, once again. 

You ignore the surprised and intrigued looks Yelena and Kate are giving you as you look back at Steve. You gently grip his forearm with your hand and offer him a weak smile. 

“I am. Thank you.” 

*

Tucked into bed, you had found yourself beginning to spiral again. You had repeated the motions of going to bed only to toss and turn, lost in your own winding thoughts. Stark, John, the fight, the way Bucky and Steve had defended you… it all swirled around in your brain over and over. Everytime you closed your eyes you saw John’s face, cruel and sneering. Or you saw Bucky’s jaw muscles tight with rage. Or Steve, flush with concern. Or you saw him. 

It was pointless, you thought, as you stared at your open laptop. You had spent the last two hours rewatching all the streams you had been featured in, then all the streams Steve and Bucky were in. You read the live chat, the comments beneath videos and posts online. They were all so happy, so excited to see where your music would take you. 

The stream where you had sung and played the piano was on repeat, rereading the positive comments of ‘omg this girl can sing!’ with all the heart and thumbs up emojis. Yet, why did you feel empty? Why did you feel ready to give it all up? You stared at those bruises on your neck in the mirror, rewatched the video of you being choked in the frat kitchen, re-lived the memories of everytime Stark had dismissed you. It all felt helpless, pointless. What was the point of going to this prestigious college if you were so miserable? Yes, all your friends made you happy. Steve and Bucky made you happy. But could that happiness outweigh the pain branded onto your soul? The anxiety, the pure fucking dread everytime you thought of John or him. You had thought you were safe. 

Maybe it was time to give up fighting. 

So there you sat, staring at your laptop screen. After all the videos and livestreams, you opened your email and began typing. The words stared back at you now. 

‘Request to formally drop out of Stark’s College of Music’

‘Request to revoke current scholarship’

‘Thank you for all the wonderful and life changing experiences’

You bit your lip as you hesitated, cursor hovering over the ‘send’ button. Were you really going to throw it all away? Start your life over, again? It was all you knew, it was how you had survived. Your mother died, so you became a pianist. He had ruined you, so you moved across the country. John had won the Board, so you would drop out. 

The noise was back in your head, begging, screaming for you to think. To try, to fight.

The ding of your phone shook you from your trance. Your eyes flickered over to the screen, an Instagram notification staring back at you. 

mariaxhill has sent you a message request

You frown at your phone. Maria Hill? Why was that name familiar to you? Unlocking your phone, you open the message. 

Hey this is Maria. Idk if you know me but i used to date john walker. I heard about whats been happening. Can we talk? i want to help.

Your breath catches in your throat, a small smile spreading across your face. Without a second thought you delete the unsent email. 

This fight wasn’t just about you, there were others too.

Chapter 6

[kefalion]

20 Questions For Writers

I first thought I’d answered these questions, but after reading through more carefully, I saw that this wasn’t the case. @sinvulkt thanks for the tag! Im thrilled to have been one of the people you thought to tag.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

79

24 of them are 5000 words or longer

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

707,267

Most of it from 2012-2015

I posted my first story in 2012 - on fanfiction.net though, only adding it to ao3 a bit later - and the feedback I got made me write like crazy. Made me decide to study English at university. For me who isn’t from an English speaking country that choice was as much to make my English better as to make my ability to write stories better. How to make any of it fit with a job could come later.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

It used to be Harry Potter. And I owe a lot to the people in that fandom. Now, for reasons many share, I’ve left that behind.

The last couple of years and probably for years to come the answer is Star Wars. I need to get deep into a fandom before the urge to write for it grabs me, so while I’ll enjoy other things too, they’re not likely to become stories.

That’s also the reason I’ve not written much original stuff. I want to know the characters before I write them. When I’m the one who has to create them, I have to write to get to know them and it’s not my favorite thing.

Anyway! Within Star Wars I tend to prefer focusing on the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan. It’s strong and messy and I find it fascinating.

Second to that comes Vader and Luke.

I also adore Cal Kestis from the games about the early years of the Empire.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

These are all going to be Harry Potter fics.

Sigh

We all have history. Gotta accept it.

Oh, they’re all Harry Potter Crossovers! That used to be my thing. Mainly pairing it with the MCU. Most of these are really old and each time new MCU content comes out, new people find them. And for the first one which is a completed Harry Potter/Loki I think it’s reached the top listing in that pairing and it’s snowballing.

1. Waiting | Soulmate mark AU. Crossover Harry Potter and the MCU. Harry/Loki. Complete. 5k words

This is in my opinion a very simple story. It’s set up and a meet cute. But if people like it, I guess that’s good.

Kudos: 3,222

2. From Russia With Love | Crossover between Harry Potter and the MCU. What if Natasha was Lily and Petunia’s long lost sister and she found out how the Dursleys were treating Harry? Complete. 5k words.

I had a series where I accepted prompts. I wouldn’t have written this without that. Which is why it’s not longer. I wrote until I’d filled the prompt. I do t know why this is so popular either.

Kudos: 1,806

3. Four Golden Lines | Another Harry Potter MCU crossover, Soulmate mark AU with Harry/Loki. Incomplete. 24k words

This I put a whole lot of work into and I’m still fairly pleased with it. I just lost momentum and then interest in the fandoms.

Kudos: 1,723

4. Great Minds Think Alike | This time it’s a Harry Potter and BBC’s Sherlock crossover! 🙃 What if the Horcrux suppressed Harry’s mental abilities and with it gone he’s Sherlock 2.0 and the two of them meet? Incomplete. 7,5k words

Writing clever characters isn’t easy. I didn’t know where else to take it.

Kudos: 1,713

5. A Mess with Capital M | Harry Potter and the MCU. What if Clint and Natasha were Harry’s biological parents? He finds out as a teen and arrives during the battle of New York. Complete. 3k words.

This was also written for my prompt series. I wasn’t passionate about the idea and had nothing more to say about it.

Kudos: 1,365

Let’s also give my top three Star Wars stories some space

24. Disasters Tiring | “Through Force nonsense, an Anakin who has just survived the crash of the fallen hand ends up on Tatooine in time to join Luke on his mission to find Artoo. He hasn't slept for seventy hours and is pretty out of it. When Obi-Wan sees him, he feels pretty out of it too.” Complete. 4,5k words

Based on a tumblr post. I took an idea and slashed it out. Funny little story.

Kudos: 382

27. Crashing Slowly into the Sands of Home | “Vader crashes next to the Lars farm on Tatooine, and the unsuspecting family cares for him. Luke takes a special interest.” Complete. 1,5k words

I saw a prompt for this on Discord and couldn’t let go of it until it was written. Short and sweet

Kudos: 273

28. Don’t Discount Your Sith Father when Searching for a Jedi Master | “Darth Vader follows Luke to Lothal where the young rebel has gone to search for answers on how to be a Jedi. When Luke falls through time, Vader continues to pursue. Through different times, places, and encounters with Jedi, they both learn something about what it means to be a Jedi and what they mean to each other.” Complete. 24k words.

This was a labour of love. I proved to myself that I could write something longer than 5k words and complete it. I think it turned out pretty good.

Kudos: 271

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to be better at it. For short comments I don’t feel like there’s much to say. I appreciate them, but they don’t open up a conversation. For longer comments, especially given shortly after I post I make an effort to respond.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The time that is given us | Harry Potter/Tom Riddle. Time travel. Time loop. Complete. 2k words

It was written for the following prompt: “Write a story about your OTP that has an UNHAPPY ENDING” and boy was it ever unhappy.

Examples of comments:

“THANKS FOR THE HEART BREAK. IT FELT GREAT. <3”

“Awwwwww, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck”

“YOU FUCKING BTICH HOW DARE YOU”

I still take immense pride in that last one 😆

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhh. I’m notorious for not completing my multi chapters. The ending is missing most of the time

And I thrive on angst and humour. And humour is just tragedy from a different point of view

Let’s do with a very lighthearted Obikin story

I can do you | “Famous Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi has agreed to consult on the making of a holovid about his life to make sure they do a fair job. During the production, he meets the stunt coordinator, a man named Anakin who shines in the Force and makes Obi-Wan feel out of sorts.” Complete. 5k words

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

It has happened. It’s been a long time though. And it was like one comment at a time not a storm. And it’s been things like “this is so gay.” And I’m like, yes, that was the point.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve begun to. Mostly I never got to the point of my multi chapter stories where it was relevant. But my first published story is more explicit in hindsight than I realized even though there’s no touching and no one takes off their clothes.

Last year I published my first story where smut what’s the main point. Still plotty though.

Take Care of Yourself, I Wish I Could | “While Obi-Wan and Anakin are alone on a planet during a mission, Anakin goes into a presentation heat. One Obi-Wan will not help him through no matter how much they'd both want it. Not that they know that want is mutual.” Complete. 7k words

10. Do you write crossovers?

As seen in my top 5 kudos list. Yes. I used to. I loved it. It was most of what I read and wrote for many years.

The first Star Wars fics I wrote and trying for are also Harry Potter crossovers. They’re incomplete and gathering electronic dust though.

It is more than likely that I’ll try it again. Just gotta find a story I want to smush together with Star Wars.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Posted to other sites by other people without them asking me: yes. Many times.

Someone claiming to have written my stories: no. Not as far as I’m aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I’ve had offers. People saying they want to translate. But as far as I remember no one delivered. Or might have been one case where the first chapter in a story was translated.

I welcome translations and pod fics etc!

I just want to know where they’re posted so I can read any comments.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not as such. I’ve had some significant collaborations. One which I hope I’ll get to see published soon. But never something where I share the work 50/50 or even 30/70

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Obikin is the winner because od the fact that compared to other pairings I’ve been obsessed with, it has to most canon content to draw from and that makes the relationship richer and more complex than any of the competitors. Because of their shared history, I think it might keep the throne even should I move on to something else.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I’ve not felt much for any of my wips lately. Neither the published stories nor the unpublished ones. So most of them deserve the status abandoned. My mood might change and I might want to return though. My mood is liable to change

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Characterisation!

I study and analyse the characters in untreated in until I know them and can stay two to their core despite putting them in circumstances that are different from where we know them from. I’ve had many compliments about my characterisation through the years. And it’s the most frequent compliment I get.

Humor too. I think I can be funny. The feedback implies it.

I also think I’m good at setting up tension and delivering an emotional experience.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Following through!

I’m struggling with picking stories that aren’t so long my interest in them will be over long before they are complete.

Endings overall I find a struggle. Most of my ideas are an inciting event and what drives me is that I want to see where that leads. Not knowing the destination means I don’t know how to get there, and I get lost along the way and quit.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I used to do more of it, but I dunno. I find Swedish to be awkward to put into fics, I think this is a remnant how growing up movies and music in English were seen as a lot cooler, and using languages I don’t know makes the perfectionist and linguist in me cringe.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Long before I knew what fandom or fanfic was. Years before I could write even, I had my mum write down stories for me while I drew the pictures (I was 4-5 years old). The two I remember were “sequels” to Disney films. First out Snow White. Second the Little Mermaid.

First fandom I wrote for as a teen who had discovered the phenomenon on the internet: Dragon Age Origins. It was als the first thing I published. I removed it only weeks later though. I understood that copying the game dialogue word for word and adding only a few things myself was something I didn’t like reading at all after the first couple of times and didn’t want others to read my poor attempt of that type of story.

Oldest published story that remains available is Harry Potter

Second oldest is a Harry Potter and BBC Merlin crossover (which I used for a school project and got a top grade on. Weird times. I think writing that many words in English (foreign language) that didn’t suck was the reason. Also, I printed it and bound it as a book myself. That probably helped.)

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

In a way the Harry Potter Merlin crossover I mentioned above. It’s long (though incomplete). It made me grow so much. I had one commenter who wrote essays to me each chapter and I’m beyond grateful for that. It was the first story I worked with a beta reader on. And it saved me from doing a real school project

Is it the best writing I’ve done? No.

Would I recommend it to you now? Not really no. But yeah. I’m proud of it.

Two Destines | “There are ordinary people, people with great destinies and there is Harry who has two. He is Harry Potter the-boy-who-lived. He is also Prince Harry Pendragon of Camelot, younger brother of the future King Arthur. He grows up in Camelot and he has to conceal his strange powers from everyone until a young man with a destiny of his own arrives.” Incomplete. 74k words.

If fic can mean any story, I have a semi original short story (it draws on the sleeping beauty fairytale) that I wrote for a competition to get published in anthology. It almost made the cut, they said, and sometime, I should make an effort to get it published.

Tag someone

No preassure at all, but I’d you want to take the time to answer, I’d love to see what you have to say @intermundia @treescape @ossidae-passeridae

[randomevie]

MCU Desired Reality Memory

the sound of my heels clacking against the floor of the palace turns the heads of few of the people i walk by. i cant find it in myself to look away from the shimmering gold walls as i wander.

if i really wanted to, i could go find loki. although, it’s often more fun when they find me. hide and seek is our unspoken game.

the large pillars supporting the palace hold small carvings at the base detailing stories of the realm, both victories and losses. if you walked through the entire palace and could decipher every painting or carving, you’d truly have the entire story. it begins with asgard’s creation and runs all the way the prophecy of ragnörak. the library holds my favorite, iðunn’s apples.

it begins on the top shelf of the third bookcase. from there, it jumps around the library in a wild manner, putting pieces of the story here and there.

while loki says each was carved after they heard the myths on earth (as some weird reminder we worship them), i choose to believe that some of them are true, and he just isn’t keen on admitting the embarrassing ones.

the library had always been one of my favorite places on asgard. the circular room held hundreds of books detailing anything from war to marriage to friendship. in the center, the ground is painted to depict the misty world of niflheim, the fire world of muspelheim, and their combined creation, ginnungagap. if you pay close enough attention, you can even see faint outlines of yggsdrasil growing from the void’s depths, spreading up the walls to the ceiling. on the domed ceiling, there is a painting of loki and thor playing together as children. the fireplace resembled a familiar figure, one meant to end the world, surtr.

i run my hands across the top of the beautiful couch, glancing around at the room again before turning and leaving.

i suppose frigga’s garden would be the best place to wait on my favorite brothers.

i find my way there easily, opening a servant’s door and entering the magical garden. i smile as i’m greeted with the sight of the greenery. stones line a path to the garden’s center, a walk too long for me to make in my current attire, so instead i follow the path until it splits off into three different directions. i turn left, heading towards the bench that’s by the pond. there’s fish there, not normal fish, but they’re fish. they shine and shimmer with each strike of the sun’s light on their fins, and sometimes i could swear they look so much like the dream fish lady frigga told me of.

i reach my destination and sink down into the bench, enjoying the soft sounds of flowing water and leaves rustling in a light wind.

i begin to think about my travels outside of the kingdom with thor and loki, and all the strange creatures we’ve seen. the mountains hold creatures larger than i would have ever imagined, even the docile ones are almost has large as i am. the only semi-normal animal is the wolves, who i often find accompanying me when i leave the palace by myself. in some way, i am one and the same with every creature here. i wonder if it’s because this was always meant to be my home.

the creatures in their oceans are ones i see in my nightmares. while never having encountered one other than from afar, i fear them more than (almost) anything else. the dagger like teeth held within their jaws. the large, heavy bodies that are so thick many swords can’t pierce them. the deep, rumbling sounds that come from under the water when you are near enough to feel them. i hope to never find myself among them.

“found you,” loki says.

i cant help but jump a bit, not having heard him walking through the garden. “oh my fucking god,” i breathe out, taking a deep breath.

“im right here, my love,” he says, coming to join me on the bench.

“i hate you. so much. actually.”

“ah, so you travel universes with over other person you hate?”

“mhm.”

he scoffs, pulling my closer into to him, “im sure you do.”

“we should go home soon.”

“we are home.”

“oh, please, i know you consider the tower more home than you do here. you just don’t say it because you don’t like tony. which, he’s not my favorite person in the world either, but, y’know…”

“‘but y’know’,” he mocks, “you have such a way with words, little dove.”

“i know i should be a scholar at this point, right?” my eyes train on the beautiful golden flowers in the distance, my favorites in the garden.

“i say this is home because it is to you, and you’re my home.”

“you’re so sappy,” i say looking up at them.

“mm, i suppose so. well, if you’d like to leave, let’s.”

“let’s,” i repeat.

we stand together, and i loop my pinky finger with his, raising it for him to look at, “pinky promise me you’ll tell me where you truly want home to be when it’s time?”

he pauses for a moment before responding, “i do.”

i give him a questioning look, shaking his arm along with mine. “don’t be stupid, lo, y’know you have to say it.”

“i pinky promise.”

“good.”

he straightens his intricately sewn tunic, the golden accents highlighted among the dark, forest green leather.

“this one is pretty, i like it.”

he only rolls his eyes, dragging me along through the garden with him. i lag behind, admiring all the otherworldly beauties. they will never grow old to me.

i disconnect my hand from his when i hear a rustling noise near one of the bushes growing cobalt blue flowers. i stand for a moment staring at the bush and the surrounding area, mushrooms of scarlet red and tanned brown grow in a patch on the other side, along with a few berry bushes.

“what is it?”

“i think it might be one of those little rabbits. the ones that are abnormally earth-like considering almost nothing else on this planet is.”

“ah,” he leans over and picks an indigo berry off the bush, handing it to me. “tempt it with this.”

i take it from his hands, bending down and extending my hand with the fruit in it to the small creature. it slowly comes out of the bushes and takes the treat, allowing me to pick it up. it’s soft black fur made me want to do nothing more than take it inside and cuddle it. it looks so similar to a rabbit, it’s ears just being slightly off, like all of them.

“hi there.”

it turns its head to look at me, whiskers brushing my face. i smile before letting it down and watching it disappear back into the bushes.

“okay, let’s go home now,” i say.

he nods, beginning to lead the way out of the garden once again. when we reach the gate, he opens it and begins to walk towards the stables. it’s silent between us as i admire the never ending beauty of asgard and it’s people. from our position, we can see the area just outside the palace, a small marketplace of luxury items. children sat atop the shoulders of their parents and smiled as they waved towards people they knew. a wondrous display of innocence and the infinite joy that comes with it. as we walk more into plain sight, children begin waving at me, and i cant help but smile and wave in return. their joy and excitement is infectious, and the laugh when i blow a kiss or make a silly face makes my heart explode.

of course asgard is home to me, how could it not be with such magnificent people and things. the tower is home too. although, i know i’d always choose wherever lo is.

when we reach the stables, i run towards my beauty’s pen.

loki signs, meeting next to me at his, “i’ll always find it ridiculous that you insisted on naming them ‘salt’ and ‘pepper’.”

“it’s cute!”

he shakes his head with a laugh before opening the pen, leading pepper out. i mimic his actions with salt.

“if it makes you feel any better,” i say, placing my foot in one of the stirrups, “sometimes i call her hallie, since salt is made of halite on earth.”

loki gives me the most deadpanned look, although the sparkling of amusement in his eyes gives away his true feelings.

“and what nickname do you have for pepper?”

“ummm……”

he only laughs in response before beginning to lead pepper away. i pass him with a run, challenging him to a race to the bifrost.

we ride over the beautiful rainbow bridge, it’s colors sparkling with the daylight. i’ve almost won when loki overtakes me.

he dismounts, and comes over to me, helping me down. i smooth out my dress and cross my arms.

“you cheated.”

“don’t i always?”

“haha.”

we walk into the golden dome, in the center of which, stands heimdall. he holds a sword that is the key to the bifrost. it’s blade has an incredibly intricate pattern engraved in it.

“heimdall! how have you been?”

“i’ve been well, evangeline, and you?”

“good! we’re heading back to midgard.”

he nods and opens the bifrost, allowing us easy passage.

“thank you. i promise i’ll stay around and talk more next time, just wanna get home,” i say.

he nods, already knowing what i had just told him.

i take loki’s hand and step into the bifrost with him. each time, i feel like i’m being thrown by giants playing catch with me. the force makes my stomach turn like when you drop on a large roller coaster, and in the seconds we find ourselves back on earth, im breathless from the journey.

“cant wait to get a coffee. asgard needs better tasting coffee.”

“darling, midgard is the one who needs better taste.”

“generally? yes. coffee? no.”

i begin walking towards the entrance to the tower, the sounds of new york city already becoming too much after the peace of frigga’s garden and the palace for so long.

when i enter the doors, my heels click loudly, even louder than they had in the palace, on the linoleum flooring. straight ahead sat security guard and a secretary, other members of the security team surrounding the floor. seats were placed all around for anyone who was waiting for someone of higher security clearance to come get them.

the amount of times i have also had to wait on someone because i forgot my badge is increasingly ridiculous. increasingly because at this moment i realize i’ve forgotten my badge.

“shit, loki-“

“i have it, don’t fret.” he raises his hand and reveals the badge to me, clipping it onto my floor-length dress.

“thanks. you think they’d know who i am at this point, no? i literally see them every day when im here.”

“maybe they think you’re a shapeshifter,” he mocks.

“oh? like you?”

he pauses for a second, the comeback catching him off-guard, but in that second i’d already begun making my way to the elevators. he follows behind me, and once we’re in the elevator, i scan my card.

“welcome home,” friday announces.

“thanks friday! i’ve missed home.”

“we’ve missed you.”

i only smile in response, pressing the button for our floor. the elevator opens to our floor not more than a minute later. sitting in the living area is clint and natasha, playing mario cart. natasha is easily winning as clint screams at the television.

“hi guys,” i greet.

both of them turn towards me, setting their remotes on the glass table in the center of the room. they had obviously been sitting for a while, as the couch had taken their imprint.

i felt loki sneak past me and towards our room, when i meet their gaze i blow a small kiss.

“where have you been?” natasha asks.

“here and there. there and here. everywhere and nowhere. what’s been going on here?” i reply nonchalantly, seating myself on the couch they had just been on and removing my heels.

“what’s with the get up?” clint asks.

“it’s normal to dress like this in asgard, asshat,” i reply. “i think i’m gonna go shower and wash out my curls, has thor come back yet? he was supposed to come home today, too. i made him do curls, it looks so funny on him.”

“not yet,” natasha responds, sitting next to me. she bumps me with her shoulder and whispers to me so clint can’t hear, “wanda and i were gonna have a girl’s night tonight, wanna come?”

“is clint not an honorary girl’s night girl anymore?” i ask sarcastically.

natasha rolls her eyes and shakes her head, “still is, just wanted an actual girl’s night.”

“i’ll be there.”

i stand from the couch, mock saluting clint before turning and looking out the window for a second. the tower seems to overlook all of new york, everyone below seemingly small enough to be animals like mice and rats, on brand for the city, really.

i turn and walk down the hall to my room, opening the door to find loki already changed and on the bed.

“tired?”

“after being forced to be with my brother all day? yes.”

i laugh before opening the doors to my closet and walking in. i find my shoe section and place my heels amongst my growing collection, each one obtained for some gala or event. i gently remove my dress and place it with my others from asgard, safer than the rest of them. i leave on the under slip, planning to put it in the laundry to wash.

i look through my drawers for pajamas, hoping to find something of loki’s i had stolen. it wasn’t a difficult task, a black t-shirt of his peaking out from the bottom of the drawer. the soft carpet makes me sigh a bit, beginning to feel the ache in my feet. shutting the drawer, i find a pair of underwear and look in the mirror at my hair and makeup one last time before going to wash it away. i sit on the small cushioned bench for a moment before laying my clothes out and walking into the bathroom. the cold tile soothes the forming blisters on my feet, and the smell of lemon and mint reminds me that i’m home, where i burn all my favorite candles and incenses.

i take my shower quickly before returning to the closet, getting dressed and going to greet loki once again.

when i enter the room, she’s reading in the bed. i go adjust the temperature to be a bit cooler for the night and lock the door. i had already gotten ready for bed after my shower, so i lifted the comforter and got in.

“i think i should get a new rug.”

“tired of this one already?” she says it with a smirk.

“i knew it wouldn’t match and you convinced me it would. it’s your fault.”

they only pretend to continue reading as i lay down and snuggle against them. the mattress, while not as good as asgard’s, feels like a cloud after a long day, and i sink into it and the pillows.

“friday, turn off the lights, please.”

without response, the lights fade off, and i easily drift off to sleep as lo continues to read.

[lokisprettygirl]

ehehehehe sorry in advanced and here are my thought on LMTLY

damn it. i keep saying that lately with the past few chapters but really just damn it. damn it loki, i feel bad for you. I know you'd rather not be pitied because it shows your vulnerability but darling, come on. You had a fucked up life, i know but that isnt excuse to push people away. i know there are layers deeper than the earths crust of insecurities and fears you have but darling, please let someone tell them how they feel and how they can at least help you because thats what she doing, she trying to help you get past all that shitty trauma but your not even letting her. i know its hard to even realize that she trying to help but calm down, please try to and let her explain it bc just like with birdy, all the trauma that your keeping, all the fucked up shit you keep within yourself, one day its going too be too much and i know you hate sharing or being soft bc it makes you seem week and that what you were raised to believe but darling, please listen to her and let her help you.

those walls you have up have to come down, even just a bit if you want this relationship to progress. being vulnerable doesnt make you weak, if not it makes you stronger opening up to someone, especially the one you love. This sick need to be hurt as its the only way you only truly feel, it is sick darling but hopefully y/n is there to help you understand that there are better and something so much better past that. that you dont even have to feel pain to feel something

now eheheh sorry, i dunno why i tend to go into conversation or speak as if im actually talking to loki but it just happens eheheh. sorry not the next few bits are notes from where i continue to read when they get back from the party, i dunno why but for some reason i feel sort of compelled to make an essay or something because from what i read frpm this morning, this is really bloody good and though you might not have enjoyed writing this, this is truly one of the most necessary and most beautiful ones you've written for this story because it really just shows how comlicatedly fucked up his mind is and how you just wrote it is a bloody damn good way of making us understand.amyway i love this chapter and hers what i took note of whilst i read it again. ehehhe i again apologize though cuz i seem to be making a bloody book on how i think this goes, eheheh sorry….😅

now how closed off he is understandable considering his background but she went through the same shit in some way,of all the people you can open up to luv, she the one

the moments of ignorant bliss before the shit is often cruel dont yah think. they were so happy now, this… how their dealing with it is very different now isnt it, he sort of tries to push everything down and tries to forget it by distracting himself, first making him destructive with the glass then the timing of the call was just perfect enough to destract him to focus on your work. while she's in her room trying to process what she feels via the tears.

these are just my interpritations of what i read, how you choose to see them is how you truly do and im just trying my best to make sense of it all

darling your not a bloody monster so stop calling yourself that please, i beg of you stop it. none of what you did was per your own accord, you were forced to and i know that it doesnt take away the guilt of being the one that still hurt people but darling you have to learn to get past these and start fresh bc… only good things would come out of something new and good, choose to do so and to move on with her help, all good things would come. I promise. Isnt that right writer? he's still trying to protect her even after all this time… (always..😐) and she needs to understand that no matter what happens between them, he always will. right? Well, I believe in him enough to trust him to do so

her feelings are justified but i dont like how she using the night before against him.

their both fucked up i get that but even so, he's still protecting her and for her to think that he'd be that person, they dont know each other enough in that way because of their shit but the way their both hurting just hurts me now…

darling thats just the thing, we have to or you have to because… you just have to for things to work out because neither of you will be happy if you keep something like that burried so deep wothin you.

"But what if I want to share the baggage loki, what if I want to be the part of that pain that you feel all the time? What if I want to be someone you could talk to?"

seee, her saying thiss. i agree with. what if i and her or we want to share that baggage because we love you enough to help you with that. we love you wnough that we want to help you carry, unpack that baggage because we love you. understand that damn it.

that line seriously has me questioning my choices in men. do i want the emotionally fucked up one or the boring normal dude? ehehhe but i want the fucked up one though. i want someone i can take care of and maybe that says something about me but i want that. thats what these stories, especially yours bring. the sense of helping someone even in some weird way, us helping then, even just in our mind is helping us and i just want to thank you for that.

how mature she is compared to the her a few chapters ago just shows how much this relationship is important for both of them. she maturing, realizing that okay maybe you need to let this out bc it isnt healthy but his insecurity is that he the one that needs to go. he makes his insecureties and fears into one and thinks that it defines him or something but it just doesnt. hes been tought that the most horrible things about him define who he is and that hinders any and all relationship he has. any time someone shitty messes up his mind (like that bitch jolene, dont even get me started on her) he closes himself of even more bc he was giving himself to her (jolene, again regretfully) but as he was opening up she couldnt handle him and just fuck you bitch, you and that fucker odin ruined him. it isnt fair. they left him as he is without any help or comfort and now y/n is left to pick up the pieces. fuckin shit come onnn

but i want to know and see those stupid ugly parts of you you moron (sorry…) but what if she doesnt run

now imgonna rage bc that bitch jolene is ruining the moment😡🤬 FUCKIN SHIT YOU BITCH YOU RUINED THE MOMENT. YOUR IN ON IT WITH THOR YOU FUCKER DONT ACT LIKE YOU ARENT YOU SHITTY…..

sorry for that ehehhe anyway, this got on longer, wayy longer that expected and its still isnt enough though. i just wish i could give you my brain (now that i think about it ew) or the scene or feeling and thoughts i was going through as i was reading this. this was REALLLY GOOODDD. please never stop with your wonder, this creativity is somethings else entirely.

i again apologize (you must be sick of the number of time i have) for the length this has gone on too. eheheh i cant help but feel like a bother because i feel like i've continually just repeated myself over and over and i wonder if i even made any sense eheheh. the fact that you're at this part show that you has to wndure that horrific mess that is my mind ehehhe

all i'll say now is that chapter was wonderful, i wish i could have gone on in this with it fresh but i reread once i got home and still as... its just got layers and i find that wonderfully brilliant.

im stopping myself from saying anything further

from your lovely 😊❤️💜💙💚💛🖤😊

-T

Me: upset and crying because of something work related and thinking perfect distraction doesn't exist.

Meanwhile I have this in my ask box waiting for me

Thank youuuuuu 🥺❤️

Okay coming back to this

The biggest issue he have in life is himself, he hates himself and he sees the world in the same way, just because he hates himself and Jolene who claimed to love him but abandoned him, he thinks everyone is going to do the same thing.

With y/n , his beacon of light and reason to breathe, his fears intensifies because she's honestly his last will to move forward and keep going, he's not ready to lose her at any cost and he thinks keeping her in dark would be much better than sharing with her.

If I talk about y/n in this fic she needs to be patient with him, it's been three days like girl just wants to love him but like chillll 😂 Give him some time and maybe he'll change his ways, he did open up a little to Jolene, just a little and she dropped him like a hot potato so his fear isn't just about himself but it's toppled with his abandonment issue and all she needs to do is stay by his side for now.

I think I relate with wanting to be with someone who's emotionally tormented a bit because I'm that way and I don't think I can ever be with someone who's not on the same emotional maturity level as me, like I can't possibly explain myself to a happy go lucky sort of guy who's always happy, I don't know what that says about me. Jolene in this fic also had that "I can fix him" syndrome which obviously didn't work for her 😂

Thank you for such an analysis, you're pretty astute about most of his feelings and fears in this fic my dear and like I have said a million times I absolutely love to hear from you always so never stop . Just you thinking that I'm a good writer or the fact that you wrote all this because of my story means more to me than you can imagine. Love youu 🥹💚

[sigyn-foxyposts]

So ive decided to post some of my stories on here as well! :,)

Like the tooth fairy one, someone out there must have seen at some point. 😭 But instead of giving you the doc ill post it here and hope its good! I dont do this often, since i share it with people im close with. So please enjoy. I tried making it a little less boring! ✨

Quote: "This is a one time thing"

‼️Trigger Warnings: Mention of someone's death, small suggestive theme (of someone changing, but it's very innocent and does not have anything explicit!)‼️

Loki🧡

Sigyn💚

Angrboda💙

After Angrboda's passing, no one knew where she had ended up. Angrboda was just barely recognized when spoken about, either as a ugly old hag, a witch that finally met her well deserved end! Or as Loki's three monstrous children's, dear old mother. But that was all, for a very long time too. Sometimes even her name was forgotten, which in it all was terribly tragic. As those who did know her, knew she was a woman skilled in many things, from using magic, to preparing for a good battle. She wasn't afraid of anything, not until that day where she would have met her end.

That's what most would say, those who still held this information. It was told by her old tribe, those of the iron woods. The giantesses whose children were that of wolves. Who even after centuries still looked up to Angrboda's image and told the tales of things she had gone through. But sadly, no one knew what the ending was, at least they wouldn't know. Because Loki did. Loki, the god who Angrboda was known to treasure more than her own weapons, cold and silver. Either she had wrapped him around her finger, or perhaps it was even the opposite? No one could truly tell who had charmed who…but nor the ending to her story, unless it was Loki himself. 

But the trickster was very secretive when it came to just this.. 

Now a spirit, a ghost roaming the 9 realms at her own command, Angrboda was at last, no longer in that horrid uncomfortable earth grave she had slept in for eons. No, now she was gaining back her unused muscles as she updates herself on her family, definitely very different from when she last was a part of it. She always watched over them, protecting them however she possibly could. Which is what led her to suddenly be taking a liking to some of them, like her own children all grown up, the new additions, but especially to Sigyn, Loki's second wife. I mean as Angrboda caught up she found out that she was very loved and respected by Sigyn. 

Much to her own surprisement and confusion. Now Angrboda really didn't hold a grudge against Loki for finding someone new, as Sigyn really took care of him! But not Sigyn either, she was really caring and kind. Reminding Angrboda that was sorta like her, but instead of caring and kind, she was brave and protective. But why respect someone when you've never spoken before? Well that was surely about to somewhat change for the ghostly spirit today.

🌾🌹🌾🌹🌾🌹🌾🌹🌾🌹🌾🌹🌾🌹🌾

As always in Asgard the goddesses had tasks to fulfil much like the Gods themselves, as they all lived in a shared community where they took turns taking care of what gave them shelter, food and clothes. But today was Sigyn's turn to clean the stables of their wonderful horse friends, a job everyone never got excited to be chosen to do next. Angrboda who had decided to follow Sigyn around today could tell: Sigyn wasn't going to enjoy this. With both having disgust on their faces. Angrboda together with Sigyn enter the stables 

"Ugh, despite being a ghost here, I really get chills just thinking about what it might smell like up in here" Angrboda comments to herself, looking around as Sigyn also looks, waving happily at the horses and goes to greet them. 

"Well..here we are! Someone had to do it right guys?" Sigyn sighs to herself, as she pets Sleipnir's snout gently before putting her hands on her hips in an enthusiastic manner, putting on a brave face. Sleipnir and the other horses neigh happily in the background and trott their hooves on the ground, at Sigyn's determination. Angrboda cheers as well, floating around in the background, clapping like the horses with their hooves. 

"That's the spirit hun! Woo- hey wait a minute..is that little Sleipnir, boy?!" The ghost lady floats over to Sleipnir chuckling happily, glad to see him as well. But still wondering why he wasn't at the family home. 

Angrboda not expecting the horse with its many legs to then jump slightly back, away from her because to her surprise, Sleipnir sees her! 

"Woah boy! Calm down dear!" Sigyn comforts Sleipnir, confused at his sudden scare. Angrboda backs away. 

"oops! Sorry about that, but can you see me?!". Sleipnir finally calms down, standing on all 8 of his legs again as Sigyn gives his face a little bit of rubs and scratches here and there. Once Sigyn felt safe enough that Sleipnir wouldn't jump around again, she goes away to check on the other horses. Sleipnir nodded at Angrboda's question, "Oh my boy..I missed you!" She too comes over to Sleipnir now, petting his snout a little. She has missed him a lot. 

"There and there! Okay before cleaning, I must change up a bit. Can't be wearing my usual clothes in here" Sigyn exclaims, before moving away from obvious sight into a corner in the stable where she couldn't really be seen. Angrboda, who really was just looking around, heard this and slightly freaked out! 

"Change!? Why Here!!" Angrboda blushes slightly, Sleipnir laughs at Angrboda's reaction. The giantess turned to face the horse "Ha ha! Very funny, just like your mother," she rolls her eyes, "laughing at how people react to things they personally find funny" Angrboda jokes, crossing her arms while looking at the 8 legged horse, smirking at him. He just gives her a clever look and turns away, confused, she too turns but back and is reminded of what was going to happen. 

"Gah! Wait what if someone sees you, not to forget it's dirty here in the first place!!" Angrboda expresses knowing very well her efforts wouldn't be heard, it's not like Sleipnir would do anything anyways. Not being able to stop the goddess, she does what she needs to do to get the job done. She tightens her loose braid before she undid the brooch on the straps of her dress. So she could remove her green overdress, which is already slightly dirty at the end of the skirt from all the walking she had been doing today.

 Angrboda, who tried to look away, but even if she wanted to turn now she couldn't. Her eyes almost glued to the blonde short lady. She ended up covering her eyes with her hands, which was somewhat effective. 

But even after fighting for control and winning, she was curious and really thought she would see something she shouldn't, but instead she was met with Sigyn now in her undergarments, that was just another dress she wore under the main dress, but slightly shorter at her feet, reaching just over her knees and that of greyish white colour. Angrboda slowly takes her fingers apart to just check and really it wasn't that bad. 

"Phew.. '' Angrboda sighs, relieved. 

Until Sigyn tucks the undergarments into the pants she wore underneath everything. 

"Oh my, why is she so..cute?!" Angrboda screeches into her hands, her face very flushed, now Sigyn did so her form was more easy to actually make out. 

Angrboda could see Sigyn's shape and cute curves slightly better now and she absolutely adored this woman. Once Sigyn is done she proudly folds her dress and puts it somewhere safe. Sleipnir while Sigyn starts cleaning, knowing she's distracted bursts out laughing at Angrboda. She slowly sits down on the ground, still floating over the ground curling into a ball, making some weird ghost screeching sound. "I return, see you again after SO long and you repay by laughing at me" Angrboda says, staying in this pose for most of the time until Sigyn was almost done. Then after some time a sudden knock was heard at the entrance of the stable, making both Angrboda and Sigyn look up. 

"Guess who~" a familiar voice spoke, someone's narrow and long hand now tapping, waiting for a response. "Couldn't possibly be my partner lurking around now, could it?" Sigyn smirks looking at the hand, only for Loki to then pop his head out. "AH! And there you are now!" Angrboda almost fell on her back, shouldn't she have known by now Loki tends to do that. He waves happily to his wife and son before stepping in, Sleipnir neighs happily to see his mom again!

"I decided to pay you two a visit, especially you darling, since you know..got the stinky job this time! What a shame really" Loki laughs, handing Sleipnir a fresh apple which he noms on happily. Sigyn just shook her head trying not to smile at this dork.

"Oh no you aren't going to stand here and tease her, help her out why don't you!'' Angrboda chuckles, remembering she used to do the exact same thing but to him instead. She gets up and floats over to a broom that was chilling against a wall, knocking it over, hitting Loki. "Oops~" Angrboda teases, almost forgetting Loki can't actually hear her. "Ow! Rude very much..wind?" Loki grabs the broom that had hit and fallen on him, Sigyn giggles to herself. "I think the quote on quote, wind, wants you to help your poor wife here" Sigyn now teases back. "Tell him!" Angrboda shouts proudly, now laughing loudly to herself. 

This was very much enjoyable! Loki keeping his wide grin on like when he first popped into the stable, grabs Sigyn broom and takes it away from her. "Ah-! Excuse you, this isn't helping!" Sigyn tries to grab it back but to no avail.

"You're done here anyways!..shorty" Loki mumbles that last sentence, Angrboda covers her mouth, this was intense "did he just say that?" She looks at Sleipnir, who wasn't even listening, still enjoying that apple. With wide eyes the horse looks around and shakes his head, wagging his tail. 

"Ohoho..don't you think I didn't hear you, poor Hodr might be blind but I'm not deaf" Sigyn shows a slight attitude and gives Loki an evil grin, Loki gasps, not even threatened by this "I'm so proud of you! got that from me~". Angrboda grins and shakes her head, she has had enough of this now, it's time to pull a little trick on her own. Floating over to Sigyn's side, she thinks a bit before managing to push Sigyn gently with the wind but hard enough for it to actually be an actual push, Loki who was perfectly bent over, facing her face imminently receives a kiss much to his and Sigyns own surprises. Sigyn pulls away, eyes wide, both blushing. "T-That was the wind!"

"This is a one time thing.. Right?" Loki asks. 

🪓🪦🪓🪦🪓🪦🪓🪦🪓🪦🪓🪦🪓🪦🪓

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I laughed so hard you did Lorenzo so dirty (facts though LMAO) hideous dog LMAOOOO I get it for sure though like ugly cute (heavy on the ugly) I really only enjoy seeing him when he interacts with Barou I truly cannot appreciate that man’s features

So real someone come save chigiri and the fact that those three say that all in the same match is WILD like can the crowd hear them talking at all when they’re broadcasted?? I’d hope not LMAO

Barcha being a two man team will never fail to make me laugh but they clearly did not get a lot of plot armor AHDGJS

Speaking of legs that reminds me of epinagi Nagi’s thighs after Zantetsu first hits him in the face like??? I need me a Barou though I want those scary dog privileges

Miratoya for life guys >>> I remember some people hoping they’d have the same va too (or Aiku and Nanami lol) but the va they chose def gives me the same vibe as Toji like…

Ok that’s why im torn LOL like the Shidou lines are so iconic but on the other hand if some of my friends try to connect the dots I gotta be ready to defend myself like I swear it’s not that deep it’s just soccer pls ignore whatever comes out of this character’s mouth

LMAOO hypebro shidou always ready to cheer you on I have no idea how Loki manages them though HAHAHA

NAH FR!! I think the generally decide characters for LN based off popularity….approximately anyways because I’m pretty certain Karasu is generally more popular than Yuki on the JP side (mainly due to shipping but I digress) but according to that sort of trend I’m praying….I definitely would not be opposed to a Nanase one either though!! Tbh I think he’s so cute and I love him too it’s just we barely see him so I don’t have much to go off of (besides him being real estate to Rin) I’d like to know how Shidou spawned into the world though LOLL

MARRIAGE FR HAHAHA like give me your hand in marriage please I’ll give you kombucha!!!! Man lied straight to our faces like the way he managed to find a Yankee’s (I think that’s the term they use) house too??? Like the odds that he didn’t stumble upon some average household too but fr like the man definitely has his own savings account and stocks portfolio like there’s no way (STOPP NO NOT THE FINANCE BRO that lowk slipped my mind but that reminds me of that tiktok audio that’s like “im looking for a man in finance” LMAOO)

Bro that panel is in like my top 10 Karasu panels LMAOAOA when he’s surveying the field and Isagi’s like lol you’re leaving yourself open dumbass and then Karasu whips out his arms shshshshs he’s so gorgeous <3(yeah he kinda looks like a penguin here now that you mention it but it’s ok pretty on brand if you ask me) always appreciate a good Karasu panel though so thank you for your service hehe

Also wait I forgot to bring this up but when I first saw the like official character design references (?? Like the visuals they release on the official website that have them looking like they’re getting their mugshots taken) I was thrown so far back by the jersey colors LMAOAOA I think it looks a lot more muted in the color pages of the manga and also (like the one in your header) shidou and rin take up so much space that you can’t see the details but Karasu and Otoya look like candy canes LMFAOOO and also Yuki/Nagi’s?? I usually like blue but something about it looks so off to me HAHAHA (also their faces but wtv ig)

-Karasu anon

this dog is how i see lorenzo LMAOAAO…but i should refrain from insulting him too much because if he ends up the way otoya did i’m going to scream!! i agree though i feel like he’s really fun w barou and honestly helps him loosen up a bit (even though barou and aiku will always be my fav random ubers friendship)

i feel like the crowd probably can’t hear them just because they’re not shouting or anything and they don’t have mics!! realistically it’s like how irl we don’t hear the players shit talking each other in soccer games but that doesn’t mean it happens yk?? regardless though there was…quite a lot being said during the u20 match LMAOAOA i need karasu and shidou to start saying unhinged stuff again!! like let’s spice up pxg vs bm a bit w some random nonsense from those too 😭 although ig rin has got it covered this time

HELP i had to go back and look and omg??? nagi’s whole build is crazy to me because even before soccer he was so jacked but he literally did nothing all day?? i need that kinda metabolism fr

MIRATOYA CANON 😜 except he’s abt to get a taste of his own medicine when i cheat on him w his best friend 😦 LMAOAO i agree though aiku’s current va has very toji vibes!! he delivered exactly what i expected from aiku

shidou is just shidou the more you think abt it the worse it gets 😩 omg loki is fr a saint like i know he’s being selfish and doesn’t care abt the team as long as charles develops but honestly i have to commend him for keeping his sanity while coaching that crazy blend of characters like i can’t even blame him 😭

nanase was just the only character i could think of that hadn’t gotten a ln besides tabieita and shidou that was also in bllk since it seems like they’ve only done bllk players so far?? but maybe now that aiku is in bllk and he was mentioned in barou’s ln we’ll get one on him. agreed though i’d rather see one for shidou!! was he born like this or did he experience smth that changed his life into whatever it is now?? apparently he didn’t play club soccer pre-bllk so how did he even get scouted??? he’s such a mystery LMAO

FRR he managed to find some bigass mansion and everything 😭 honestly i can’t even blame him if some random kid i barely knew tried to follow me home i would also take the opportunity to mess w him because what 😟 HAHA he truly is a man in finance unfortunately…he was even telling hiori he plays like city planning and stock management simulator video games?? karasu please…let me teach you about mario kart and super smash bros…please…

I LOVE THAT PANEL my fav is def the one in epinagi where he’s introduced and he calls kiyora and nagi dunces hold on let me find it

he just looks so smug and karasu-like in this??? LMAO idk he’s so handsome i love this panel sm

THOSE CHARACTER DESIGNS ARE SO SILLY HAHAHA did you see sae’s neon cleats?? 😰 i think they always look a little odd w the white background though…hopefully it’s a bit more muted in the anime!! it seems like they’re going for a darker color pallet this season (based on the trailer) so i am keeping my fingers crossed 🤞🏻

[kingofthewebxxx]

i followed you because you followed me first and i was so excited for our muses to interact! one of the best decisions i've made. and i don't ever regret following you. I love your Jim so fuckin' much! I adore your OCs, adrian and everett! I'm always just so excited to chat with you and our muses shooting the shit in a sense. and to read the REDACTED info about your muses, ahhhhhh. i just get so hyped. and for you to also love amelia ( jim, i see you. you like her too >:c ) always make me so happy. for you to help me with certain aspects of her where i can't quite find the words what im trying to convey is great too! overall, im happy we followed one another :3 and i think you're a swell person and funny. and that we vibe very well imo! :DD <3 ~ loki <333

Awww, thank you so much Loki. You know I love Amelia and I love writing with you, she is so well-written and I enjoy learning about her each time we write together. You Loki, are an amazing person, so patient and willing to discuss new ideas. You are part of the ‘redacted statements’ club for a reason, I trust you with the information and I know you understand why I haven't set everything out for everyone to see at once in a sense. It's no problem, your humour and kindness always brighten my day. We get on very well!

Mori 

(P.S Jim said that he has a bottle of champagne with Amelia’s name on it ready to be delivered to her, I'll let you figure out what that means)

[thighs-of-betrayal-blog]

Hello, love! How r u?

First of all, I just want to say sorry for being my third request 🤣🤣 I'M SOOOORRY! I dont wanna bore you, but you are so attentive and dearest with me... and i cant resist, because your writing is inspiring! 😍🥰

Okay, it's like i'm "flattering", but its true! 🤣

Alright, lets go! 😅

I don't know, maybe you had already written something like that... if you have it, sent to me, please!

Could you write a jealousy Bucky, like... reader is the only person who he had ever talked, specially about the nightmares being the winter soldier, and, i don't know... maybe an ex-boyfriend being back, or another avenger flirt with the reader, what was just a kidding and Bucky taking to serious... some situation that make him being jealousy? He decides to talk about that when they're training (he helps her with self defense), and the fight takes such a serious turn that they offend each other.

They past a few days without talking each other and Bucky starts to get a little bit closer with another girl, maybe Natasha or Sharon, what makes this time, reader get jealousy.

In the end, the Avengers are in a mission to save a city being attacked by aliens. (The next idea was inspired by TikTok 😅) When all its over, Bucky appears looking for "her", asking if "she" is okay and the girl who approached him appears, saying she's fine and hug him... when actually, he's looking for the reader.

The reader is the last one to appears, asking if everyone is okay and Bucky goes and hugs her and happy end (?) 🤣🤣

Sometimes i feel like im being annoying for making long requests... and so specific lol sorry, but its just an idea that appears in my mind. I'll control myself, I promise! 🤣🤣

Thank u for reading, darling! U r awesome 🥰 Luv u ❤😘 have an amazing day!

Double-Sided

A/N: Hey, love! First off, feel free to send in as many requests as you’d like... I don’t mind at all! I love each and every one!! Thank you so much for sending this one in. It truly was a pleasure to write. Also, YOU are awesome and I hope you’re having the best day. Love you too! :)

I hope you all enjoy and as always, feedback is appreciated! 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger! Reader

Warnings: angst/fluff, weapons, violence, cursing

His fists have been clenched. All. Damn. Week. Ready to strike Loki in the face at any possible moment. Every time he’s gone out of his way to see you, there was Loki, unabashedly flirting with you with a smug grin plastered on his face. And today is no different. 

You watch as Bucky strolls into the gym and aggressively throws his bag against the wall. He dares a glance at you and all you see is anger. 

Did you do something wrong?

“Barnes looks a little troubled today, don’t you think, darling?” 

Loki’s close. Pressed into your side, to be exact. His tall frame bent over as he speaks into your ear. 

You notice Bucky’s glance peeking over at the God standing next to you and for a second, you wonder if his anger is directed towards him. 

“Let’s just warm up.” 

A distraction is what you need. Anything to keep your mind off the fuming super soldier across the room. Unfortunately for you, luck isn’t on your side today. 

“Y/N, you’re with Buck.” Steve’s words are clipped and you know it would be pointless to argue. 

Sighing, you slide under the guardrail and come face to face with the brooding man himself. 

“Buck.” 

“Y/N.” 

His jaw is tight, clenched shut in fury. You rack your brain to file through anything you’ve could’ve done these past few weeks to make him this way. Bucky’s your best friend and it hurts to think he’d dismiss you like this, without even talking to you. Besides Steve, you’re the only one he’s let in, willingly coming to you about his nightmares. And you’re always there to pick up the pieces for him. With willing arms. 

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by Bucky’s hand pummeling towards you, aiming for your face. You dodge it quickly, bending down to slide out from under his arm. 

“What’s wrong?” you whisper, not wanting to capture the attention of the others. 

Bucky grunts, swiping his leg out to intercept yours. “What makes you think something is wrong?”

Jumping to the side, you land on your back and immediately rise onto your feet. “I know you, Buck. Plus, anyone in a foot radius can sense the anger coming off you. It’s kind of distracting.” 

Grabbing your waist, he pulls your arms behind your back, his mouth resting near your ear. “Sorry to be such an inconvenience, doll.” 

Twisting out of his hold, you move to stand across from him. “That’s not what I meant-” 

“Are you fucking him?” 

What in the fuck?

Your arm shoots out on its own accord, your fist heading straight for his face. He grabs your hand right before it connects with bone. “You haven’t even given me the time of day,” he seethes out. 

Really? He’s angry at you right now? After that comment?

“You haven’t really given me the chance to,” you counter. 

He twists your arm, sending you tumbling to the floor. In an instant, his body is on top of yours, holding you down with his weight. “How can I? Every time I walk up to your door, all I hear is him.”

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you struggle to push him off you. “He’s just being friendly.”

With one hand, he pushes your arms over your head and onto the floor. “And you’re just pathetically naive.” 

Scoffing, you plant your feet onto his chest, forcing him off you. Standing, you give him one last glance. “And you’re just a fucking jerk.” 

You walk off before he can respond, leaving him cursing to himself as he watches your retreating form. 

---

Exactly one week later and still no word from Bucky. To be fair, you haven’t spoken to him either, still reeling from what he said to you during training. 

Pathetically naive. What an ass. 

Turning your head, the irony hits you full force. To the right of you sits Bucky and Sharon, heads down as they speak quietly. 

And, here’s the other thing. Since your fight, Bucky has been spending a large amount of time with Ms. Carter over there. At least three hours a day, not that you’ve taken notice or anything. It’s not like you’re jealous. 

“My apologies for causing a rift between you and Bucky, darling.” 

Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion as you look over at Loki. “Don’t apologize for Bucky’s stupidity. Us not talking has nothing to do with you.” 

“If you insist.” 

Sighing, you look back over to Bucky, who’s already staring at you. You lock eyes, your breath ripped out of your chest as a small grin appears on his face. 

Asshole.

“What was that, darling?” 

Realizing you spoke out loud, you smile fakely at Loki before standing up to grab your gear. “Nothing to worry about.” 

---

Groaning, you pull yourself back up after falling down onto the cement yet again. You have the cuts to prove it, skin bloody and burning. 

All you have to do is wait for Clint to destroy the reactor. Then, these stubborn aliens will vanish in thin air. Except, he left half an hour ago and you’re getting tired. 

“What the hell is the hold up?” you grunt into your comms, striking an alien in the chest with your spear. 

“Sorry, Y/N, I got caught up. Almost there now.” 

You want to punch Clint repeatedly and you decide right then and there that the next time you see him, you will. 

At least sixty aliens have already come and gone, and your body is tired. Screaming out for you to just stop and rest. 

“Just hurry the fuck up.” You’re not in the mood for manners. 

“Want me to come help?” Loki asks. You appreciate the thought. Truly, you do. But, by the time he gets over to your location, you will have killed another sixty aliens, so you see no point. 

“I’m okay, I just wish Clint wouldn’t take his sweet fucking-” 

One of the aliens rushes into your side, knocking you to the ground hard. The breath is swept out of your chest and you struggle for air. 

You throw your arms up, dodging all punches that are coming your way. 

“Y/N?” Clint asks, concerned as to why you didn’t finish your sentence. 

After a few seconds of silence, Bucky’s voice yells through the comms. “What’s Y/N’s location? Y/N? Goddamnit, you better be okay!” 

Rolling out from under the aliens, you struggle to jump back onto your feet before a knife appears out of nowhere, slicing into your side. 

Fuck.

You go down once again, landing straight on your back, your head slamming into the cement ground. Blood trickles down your face and you know your head is cut open. 

You look down to see your side bleeding out. Double fuck. 

Feeling your head start to get heavy, you take a deep breath and focus on keeping your eyes open. 

C’mon, Clint. You’ve gotta almost be there by now. 

Another minute goes by and you’re barely able to dodge the oncoming attacks from the aliens. 

This is it. This is how you’ll die. 

Another slice into your side and you gasp, the pain slicing through you. 

“Y/N?!” 

You want to answer Bucky. You do, but you can’t find the strength to open-

“Got it.” 

Clint’s voice flows through your ears as the aliens in front of you vanish in thin air. Tears start to roll down your cheeks and you laugh, unable to wrap your head around the fact that you almost just died. 

Instead of thinking about it, you muster all the strength you can to get up. 

Time to go find the others.

---

“Where are they?” 

Bucky’s eyes are wildly searching for you, panic rising up in his chest when he doesn’t see you. “Where the fuck are they?!” 

Sharon appears out of nowhere, stepping in front of Bucky’s line of vision. “Buck? I’m right here. I’m okay.” She reaches a hand out to rest on his shoulder, checking him over for any injuries. “Are you okay?”

Scoffing, Bucky pushes Sharon to the side, continuing to look around. “Somebody please tell me they’ve seen Y/N!” 

He’s almost in the midst of a panic attack now, everyone else on the team staring back at him. The only one he doesn’t see is you. He can’t lose you. He can’t. He won’t allow it-

“Is everyone okay?” 

The sound of your voice has him whipping around, eyes wide as he takes in your form. You’re slumped over, holding your side as blood seeps through your fingers. You have blood caked on your face, reaching down towards your eyes. 

He runs to you, grasping your cheeks with his hands and planting his lips firmly against yours. 

In shock, your mind takes a second to grasp what’s happening before your lips start to move in sync with his, your arms wrapping around his neck. 

When the two of you pull apart, you’re both breathing heavily. 

“What was that for?” You pant out. 

Bucky swoops in for another kiss and damnit, if it isn’t everything you’ve ever dreamed of. 

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” he whispers against your mouth. 

You have so much to say, so many confessions to make, but the only thing that manages to slip past your lips is a small “okay”. 

“Good.” Bucky smiles after that, gently kissing the top of your head. “Let’s get you to a medic, doll.” 

You let Bucky guide you towards the quinjet like a lovesick puppy. You know you’ll talk about the kiss later, more than likely in the setting of his bed as you’re cuddling. But for now, you focus on getting patched up. 

As you walk, you pass Loki. He’s staring at the two of you intensely, his lips slightly lifted in the smallest of grins. When he notices you looking back at him, he nods his head, his grin turning into a full-blown smirk. 

That motherfucker. 

Suddenly, everything makes sense. Bucky wasn’t mad at you, he was jealous. Of Loki. And Loki knew the whole time. It was all a part of his mischievous plan, to get the two of you together. 

You chuckle to yourself. “The ultimate trickster.” 

Bucky looks behind at you, a confused look on his face. “What was that?” 

You shake your head and smile. “Nothing. Just happy to be with you.” 

He flashes you a toothy grin before turning back around and you're left with your thoughts, thinking of how to repay Loki. 

And as Bucky pulls you into the quinjet, the only thing on your mind is where you can purchase a gold and green, antique dagger.

[jobean12-blog]

(@kaisficrecs)

Hi! If youre taking requests i was thinking about, since Loki and everything,maybe the reader somehow comes from our universe to the MCU and meets Bucky. Maybe they tell them about the world they came from? Apologies im not good at writing descriptions or plots.

Rewritten

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word Count: 2,001

Summary: You somehow get zapped into a different timeline and this one has a VERY REAL BUCKY BARNES (this takes place during FatWS)

Author's Note: Hi lovely @kaisficrecs thank you for this fun request!!! So when I read it my mind immediately when to the reader sorta of landing in a timeline where Bucky Barnes is actually real and she’s basically exisiting in a fan fiction story. I hope this is ok and you enjoy it! It seemed liked a fun way to take it! Hope you have a great day! HUGS! Thank you all so very much for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤ Jobean divider by the lovely @imerdwarf and line divider by the lovely @skylightlantern

Warnings: Fun fluff, flirting, soft and shy Bucky, some fun teasing, smiles and giggles

Gif not mine: Credit to @fishragnarsson for this beautiful one, thanks so much 🥰

“Hey Sam, I think she’s coming to,” Bucky shouts as he holds you protectively against his chest.

“Hiya doll, how do ya feel?” he asks you.

Your eyes are still slightly blurred as you look around, finally focusing on the familiar blue eyes staring down at you. The air is filled with loud noises and voices but it’s the one speaking directly to you that makes your heart start to beat rapidly once again.

“It’s ok, you’re ok,” he says, gently shifting you in his arms.

You hear the shifting plates of metal and a whirring sound you recognize all too well. The blood rushes to your ears and your eyes widen.

“Bucky?” you squeak out, trying to sit up but he doesn’t let you.

“Yea doll, that’s right and don’t move too much yet. You’re probably still a bit dizzy. You went down pretty hard.”

The world starts to get fuzzy and your skin heats. Your vision becomes dark and blurry and you can feel yourself slipping into the unconscious.

“Did you just call me…” you start to mutter, unable to finish your sentence before fainting right in Bucky’s arms.

“Shit, she fainted again,” Bucky yells, lifting you up bridal style. “Let’s get her into the jet.”

“Still not awake huh?” Sam asks Bucky as they stand near your bed.

“Not yet. But every once in while she makes these cute little sounds. Maybe she’s dreaming,” Bucky says, smiling.

“Great, you’re already smitten,” Sam teases, nudging Bucky in the arm.

Bucky blows a raspberry and ignores him, his eyes still trained on you.

“I can stay a bit if you want so you can grab some food or something,” Sam tells Bucky.

“Nah, thanks. I want to be here when she wakes up. She seemed to recognize me so I’m hoping that will help ease some of the initial shock.” Bucky explains.

Sam nods in understanding and squeezes Bucky’s shoulder before walking out of the room.

You wake up to bright lights and the steady beep of a heart monitor. With slow movements you wiggle your fingers and toes and do a little stretch. It isn’t until you realize you’re not in your bedroom in your house that you start to panic.

“Where am I?” you whisper, trying to sit up.

“Hey doll face, take it easy there.”

You turn your head at the sound of his voice, that voice you would recognize almost anywhere. His blue eyes are soft and the skin around the edges is crinkled in a sweet smile. The lights of the room bounce off his left arm, the gray and gold metal shining brightly.

“You said it again,” you breathe out.

“What?” Bucky asks looking confused.

“Doll. You keep calling me doll.”

He chuckles and dips his head shyly. “Yea. I guess old habits die hard huh?”

“I didn’t get a chance to catch your name the first time you fainted and then it happened again so…” he trails off looking sheepish.

You smile for the first time. “No, it’s fine. I don’t mind at all. Really,” you assure him.

After introducing yourself you push yourself up and bring your knees up to your chin.

“I still don’t understand what’s going on or how I got here or if you’re even real. This could very well be a dream,” you say quietly, letting your eyes finally settle on him.

He takes a step forward and folds his hand around yours.

“We’ll figure it out one way or another,” he says softly.

After talking with Bucky and some of the hospital staff you’re released with a clean bill of health and it’s almost dinner time. Your stomach grumbles as you step into the warm air and look around.

“Everything looks the same. It’s still Brooklyn,” you declare.

“Do you want me to take you home? Or…?” Bucky asks, shuffling his feet.

“I’m not sure my home is even mine anymore. Bucky Barnes definitely isn’t real where I come from,” you state with a small laugh.

“You can come stay with me until we figure out more stuff… that is, only if you want to.”

You stare at him, a million thoughts rushing through your mind at his offer and the whole craziness of the day so far.

“I’d like that. As long as you don’t mind,” you answer.

“Not at all,” he says, walking to his motorcycle. “Come on. We’ll be there in no time”

You stand still, now staring at his bike.

“You’re going to take me on your motorcycle?” you ask in awe. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

You start to feel a little lightheaded again and sway in your spot. Bucky rushes over and grabs your waist.

“It’s ok doll, we can walk or take a cab if you’re more comfortable.”

Grabbing his leather jacket, you steady yourself and take a deep breath.

“No, it’s not that at all. I really want to go for a ride…it’s just…well never mind. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, looking worried.

“Definitely,” you tell him, now smiling. “I’m ready.”

He helps you onto the bike and hops on in front of you, revving the engine before looking over his shoulder and telling you to wrap your arms around his waist.

You do what he says and can’t stop yourself from giggling, squeezing him tighter when the bike takes off. The ride isn’t too long and before you know it you’re reluctantly letting go of him as he helps you off.

“Not too bad, right?” he asks.

“It was perfect,” you tell him.

When you get inside his apartment it’s just as you always imagined it would be. Neat and clean with the just the bare minimum of necessities.

“You must be starving. How about pizza?” he asks, grabbing his phone.

“I love pizza!” you exclaim, giggling to yourself again.

“Me too,” he replies, giving you an assessing look.

“What?” you ask

“I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me,” he says with a smile.

You shake your head, covering your mouth to hide another giggle before plopping down on the couch.

“If you want to shower or anything go right ahead. I can give you some of my clothes for now.”

Once again your mind floods with thoughts and you decide that a shower might be the perfect way to center yourself.

“I think I’ll do that, thank you.”

Bucky gets you set up and says he’ll leave some clothes hanging on the door. You take a hot shower and try to wash some of the insanity of the day away and clear your head. It helps and by the time you get out you’re feeling a little more like yourself.

You open the door of the bathroom and grab the clothes. He left you a black tee shirt, a pair of shorts and his blue Henley. The sight of his Henley makes the world shift again and you grab the sink to keep yourself upright.

“I can’t believe it,” you mutter to yourself.

You lift the soft fabric to your nose and inhale, smiling when you smell his lingering scent. It’s better than you ever even imagined.

When you’re dressed you hang your towel to dry and walk into the small kitchen area, finding Bucky standing at the counter in a tee shirt and jeans, his dog tags hanging loosely around his neck.

“Hey doll face. How was your shower?”

You giggle for the hundredth time.

“Great thanks, just what I needed and thank you for the clothes,” you say, motioning to yourself.

“They are a little big,” he laughs, “but you look really cute.”

You can feel the heat creep over your skin but the ring of the doorbell pulls you both from the moment.

“Pizza is here!” he chimes.

Before long you two are seated on the couch with a piece of pizza in hand.

“So is pizza still as delicious in this timeline?” he asks. “I can’t believe I just asked that.”

You both laugh.

“Yep, still delicious,” you say before taking another bite.

Bucky watches you intently, slowly lifting his thumb and leaning over to swipe it across the corner of your mouth.

“You had a little sauce right there,” he whispers.

“Thanks,” you answer back, tracing the spot with your tongue.

You quickly take a drink of water but it doesn’t stop the giggle you were trying to stifle and you end up choking on the water.

“Woah, you ok doll?”

You give him a thumbs up and bury your face in your hands, your shoulders shaking with more giggles.  

“You’ve got to tell me what keeps making you giggle like that. I’m starting to think it’s me,” he says shyly.

That pulls you out of your fit and you look him in the eye. You let out a deep breath and square your shoulders.

“Well. Um…this is going to sound weird. I mean I think it is…no. It definitely is, but uh, hear me out.”

Bucky winks and says, “listen doll, I’ve heard a lot of weird shit and seen some even crazier shit so I wouldn’t worry.”

“Good point,” you say in agreement. “Ok. So, in my timeline Bucky Barnes is a fictional comic book character. He’s in movies and TV shows and comics of course. He looks just like you…which is why I recognized you earlier today.”

“Yea I was wondering about that…” he says, now smirking.

“So anyway, it seems like your story here is the same as what we’ve seen in the movies. I’m not sure if all the details are exact or anything but only time will tell.”

You finish that sentence and take another deep inhale.

“That still doesn’t explain why you keep giggling every time I do or say something,” he says, brows raised.

“Right, that. Yeaaaaa…so have you ever heard of fanfiction?” you ask, inwardly cringing.

“Sam told me about it once. People write stories about fictional characters right?”

Your look of surprise makes him laugh.

“I haven’t read any of it myself though,” he continues.

“Huh,” you say, chewing on your bottom lip.

“Why? Is there fanfiction about me in your timeline?” he asks, his smile growing.

You open your mouth to answer him but with the devious look on his face you quickly shut it again.

“Answer me baby doll,” he warns playfully.

“You really say that too…” you gasp.

“So that must be a yes,” he laughs. “Do I sound like the Bucky in your stories?”

���I never said I wrote stories!” you nearly shout, backing up as he moves closer to you.

“When I had you in my arms earlier after you fainted…I distinctly remember calling you doll and the next thing I know you faint again…coincidence?”

His grin is so full of mischief you can’t help but break into a smile.

“I guess it was just sort of like a celebrity moment,” you say with a shrug.

His knees are now brushing yours as he corners you against the couch cushions.

“I’m not a celebrity though,” he laughs, taking the glass of water from your shaky hands.

“No, but you are a hero,” you tell him.

His face softens at your words and this time you lean forward, reaching out to touch his cheek.

“So, what would usually happen now in one of your stories,” he asks audaciously.

You giggle, this time doing nothing to hide it.

“Oh, so many things…and who ever said I wrote stories,” you smirk.

He laughs. “What kinds of things?” he simpers.

“Well…maybe I could just show you?”

He nods and you let your hand fall to his chest, grabbing hold of his dog tags and wrapping them around your fingers. You give them a gentle tug, pulling him closer until your faces are only inches apart.

“I hope this isn’t a cliffhanger,” he whispers as his eyes drop to your mouth.

“Those are always fun but not this time,” you murmur before pressing your lips to his.

@book-dragon-13 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @hiddles-rose @dreamlessinparis @musicalmuffindog1410 @marvelgirl7 @jewels2876 @nano--raptor @randomfandompenguin @starlightcrystalline @white-wolf1940 @tumblin-theworldaway @lookiamtrying @loricameback @bbl32 @mardema