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#i forget how the grammar work sometimes
avoidantvoidd · 4 months
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(tap on the images for better quality. tumblr keeps fucking up my stuff w their low res bs)
Monsterfucker Altaïr = best Altaïr
inspired by the countless monsterfucker Altaïr prompts by the all mighty @teecupangel (+ all the nonnies & ppl who gave them ideas :) )
an accurate dipiction of Altaïr when he spots hybrid/eldritch being!desmond roaming in the wild.
i didn't know if i should put kadar n malik in there. but as much as i wanted to i couldn't imagien them saying it. so i put some rando novice and rauf himself instead. lmaooooo (the rando novice will become a mascot later on in more of my art work dw)
ignore the way Altaïr's hood look like a fucking samosa and focus on how neat my handwriting is. i tried to make is as eligible as possible.
i was hungry while drawing that so i think thats the reason why, HAH.
ughhhhhh. i need to draw more. like actually draw and not shitpost stuff like this. like i made one of the best art work in my life and just fell off. i hate it here.
art dump (?) under the cut.
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some altdes for the soul :)
please excuse my poor attempt at chibi art style. my hands r just allergic to cute stuff :( i gave up on coloring them too. my laptop wont let me.
i tried drawing desmond in my style, and i have to say it's not taht bad :0. But i fucked his hair. i already suck ass at drawing hair, but at least i can bullshit my way through long hair but his buzzcut is SO HARD TO DRAW. like THATS INSANe. why. i wanted to give him some fluffy hair. as you can see i failed. tramendusly.
desmond, my son, why must you lack hair....
It's not much for an 'art dump' but these two r the only ones in my folders that the human eyes can tolerate.
ok sorry for taking up ur screen with my ramblings i'll be going now, bye xoxo.
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dallonwrites · 1 year
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actually making my tags from my last post into their own post. writers who struggle with grammar, spelling, typos, errors etc i love you. writers who struggle with rereading their stuff thoroughly no matter how much they try, who don't always have access to other people to help them read i love you. whilst reading through and checking for these things is good practice i really believe that the weight of it should not be put wholly on the writer's shoulders. especially writers who are neurodivergent, disabled, have any condition that can impede their reading + comprehension, are overworked and overtired, are not writing in their native language, list goes on....because grammar mistakes/language mistakes/typos have nothing to do with your abilities as a creative. this is where editors should be uplifting writers, helping them, not scrutinising them for something they cannot always control
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astranauticus · 1 year
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a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy
translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner
Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)
I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me
the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence
specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong
'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all
'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore
How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)
(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)
definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time
"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works
'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring
specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath
'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH
the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')
fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.
Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)
finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually
the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this
'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay
'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back
'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general
'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...
#rolling with difficulty#rwd starship#rwd professionals#my feel good hobby! as opposed to art: my feel bad hobby /j#im actually learning to play how can i make you stay on the guitar right now its a lot of fun but ow my fingers#ive also found a score for him but its super outside my skill level so we'll see how that goes#bmadd11 my beloathed#/also/ working on a little something based on that song but that wont... come into play for at least the next few weeks so#its an absolute monster of a project and school has started so i dont have high hopes for getting it done soon#i dont think i got to mention this on the actual post for borrow but ive literally been spinning that song in my brain since like 2020#genuinely. i've been thinking about how to translate that song for upwards of 3 years#grammar is just weird sometimes#i was gonna include let's go wandering by bibi zhou but i couldve SWORN i wrote a translation for that song before i just cant FIND it#spent 30 minutes hunting for the doc in my drive thats 30 minutes of my life wasted#but 'lets go wandering with a smile because we carry our home in our hearts' just fucks severely#also considered including forget your sorrows when the flowers bloom by zhou shen#bc im not gonna make a cpop post and *not* try and subject more poeple to zhou shen#but like that songs vibe is too... cottagecore to really make a good point there im just obsessed with one specific line#'If my memories are stolen and I forget all my love; I'll say to you “Hello!”#post amnesia vrla to the old crew??? the 'i dont know you. id love to get to know you again' of it all????#did this instead of my programming homework :|
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arachine · 1 year
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ethan landry drabble tmrow everyone thank isa
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vanteguccir · 8 months
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── ୨୧ ! 𝗦𝗟𝗘𝗘𝗣𝗬
         𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
SUMMARY: Where Matt had a busy day and just wants to sleep in his lover arms.
WARNING: None.
REQUEST?: Yes, by @mymoots
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
Y/N sighed in relief after closing the door to her house, locking it before placing her set of keys on the plate next to the entrance, next to Matt's car key. The girl took off her shoes, placing them up against the wall next to Chris' sneakers, making a mental note to clean them both the next day, or ask Chris to do so.
Y/N walked to the kitchen still with her purse on her shoulder, not wanting to put it on the counter, knowing that if she did she would forget to pick it later to put it in its proper place. The girl walked to one of the cabinets and took a glass of water, filling it and drinking all the contents there, before finally going to her room, which she shared with her boyfriend.
She was excited to see Matt, after a busy day at work she always loved sitting and listening intently as he recounted everything he did alone or with his brothers from the moment he woke up, her favorite stories being about what it was filming the video that would be posted the next day, or sometimes, on that same day.
And this was one of those days, when the boys left the recording of Friday's video to be recorded exactly on Friday, which made the day busier than normal and, consequently, more tiring.
Y/N quickly arrived at the room, knocking twice on the door before carefully opening it just enough to enter, before closing it again, finding the room completely dark, only lit by the low white lights that decorated the corner of the walls.
Matt was lying on the bed, on top of the covers, face down and his face turned to the other way.
The girl placed her purse on the chair closest to the door, removing her jacket and walking lightly towards her boyfriend, not sure if he was awake or asleep, and the last thing she wanted to do was disturb him.
"Matt? Baby?" Y/N whispered, bringing her face closer to the side of Matt's head, enjoying the fresh smell of shampoo.
"Hmm?"
"Are you awake?" She continued, now bringing her face closer to his, noticing his half-open eyes and sleepy face.
"I am, I haven't slept yet, I wanted to wait for you." He responded in a low whisper filled with exhaustion.
"Oh my love, there was no need. You recorded today's video during the day and you mentioned that you were going to the market, I imagine how tired you must be." Y/N spoke back, remembering the brief text that Matt sent her right after lunch, letting her know that he was going to stop by the market to buy some items that had run out of the fridge and cupboard, and that Y/N had written in the notes on his phone as it was the closest to her at the time.
"It's okay, I like seeing your face before I sleep." Matt whispered again, turning completely around to face Y/N, smiling slightly, his eyes almost closing completely.
"I love you." The girl spoke, approaching and kissing Matt's lips, without moving them, just a seal full of love and affection.
"Hm I love you more."
"Are you hungry? I can get a quick snack." Y/N asked, pulling away.
"A little, but I miss you more than I'm hungry, so lay here with me." He responded, pulling her arm lightly.
"Are you sure, honey?" He responded with just a nod. "Alright, let me just take a shower first."
"Nooo, don't leave me here all alone." He asked slyly, raising his arms. Y/N laughed at his whole drama as his blue eyes barely opened.
"It'll be quick, I promise."
"I'll go with you." He said, getting up and almot falling, what kept him from doing it was Y/N's hands on his shoulders.
The girl shook her head, knowing that asking him to lie down again would be a losing fight, so she just guided him to the bathroom, sitting him on top of the toilet.
The girl quickly took her clothes off and discarding them in the laundry basket, before entering the shower, casting a quick glance at Matt, who was half-bent over with his eyes half closed, the side of his body resting on the counter, making her smile, he was so kind to her.
It didn't take more than ten minutes and she was already drying herself, fulfilling her promise to be quick.
"Matt, go to bed, I'm almost done here." She asked, placing her hands on the boy's cheeks and lifting his face, bending down slightly and kissing his forehead, helping him to get up and gently pushing him to the room.
As she left the bathroom, her eyes traveled to the bed, smiling when she saw Matt in a half-sitting, half-lying position, with his eyes closed and his hand off the side of the bed, as if he was ready to catch her when she climbed into the comfort of his side.
Y/N went to their closet, taking fresh panties and Matt's shirt from her side of clothes, putting them both on before walking back to bed, lightly touching Matt's hand, which made him open his eyes quickly and look around, feeling a little lost.
"I'm awake, I promise." Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes at how stubborn the brunette could be when he wanted to.
"Go a little to the side, my love." She asked, pushing him away lightly with her hands, making space for herself. "When we wake up tomorrow, I want to know everything about your day." Y/N added in a whisper, getting under the covers and placing Matt next to her, before pulling him into her arms, letting he lay his head on her chest, knowing that the sound of her heartbeat calmed him down.
"And I'll tell you everything." He spoke back slowly, placing his hand around her waist before giving up to sleep.
Y/N paused for a few seconds to just watch her boyfriend's expression soften, the tension in his body giving way to lightness, and she couldn't help but smile. There was no better place for her than in Matt's arms.
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eyeritestuff · 3 months
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“I wish I had a mouth..”
Billy Kid x Reader
—X—
A/N: we need more billy kid fanfics. also, excuse grammar errors i’m struggling to get back into writing lalala
CW: mentions of NSFW, but i don’t go into explicit details :P
Reader: Gender Neutral [they/them]
—X—
Your boyfriend was clingy.
Very clingy… but so are you!
Being a human/humanoid being, it was hard enough in battle having the physical limitations you did, but when it came to your robotic boyfriend, it was scary to give or receive that physical love you both adored and craved so much. Luckily, Billy made sure to limit himself and be extra careful with you. His care is what made you value him that much more. For example, when Billy hugged you, he would snake his arms around your waist, and gently squeeze. There’s also the moments when he wants to hold your hand. Billy would make sure to gently tap the inside of your palm and wait with an open hand for you to reciprocate.
In bed, he was extra careful. Making sure to ask things along the lines of ‘Is everything okay?’, ‘Are you comfortable?’, and ‘Can I touch you here/there?’.
There of course were times, despite the cautions, you would move on instinct and hurt yourself. For example, you’d go for a hug, forget that he’s made metal, and hit your head. There was also times where you’d hold his hand and get pinched between his joints. The funniest of them all were the times where you’d kiss him and accidentally hit your forehead on his.
It’s just human to be clumsy.
He loved that about you.
Billy loved how humans and their bodies worked, and he often showed that fascination where he would do things like holding your hand out and examining it, only to hold his own up and examine the similar parts and pieces. You sometimes got worried about how he compared himself to you, but there’s nothing to worry about because it’s one of those innocent curiosities. He perfectly content with being a machine, but there are certain limitations in his design that make him grumpy. Limitations that were, unfortunately, made prevalent when you two started dating.
You didn’t realize this until one day you two cuddled up in his bed watching Starlight Knight together. Billy sat with his legs crossed, hunched over in shrimp position, and you sat in his lap, leaning back into his chest, and holding a large plushie replication of a Bangboo. He had a large blanket draped over him that he made sure to wrap it in a way so that you’d also be covered. Both sets of eyes glued were glued to the screen, and the scene that was on was one where one of the main characters had received a kiss from the space princess they had just saved from imminent doom.
“I wish I had a mouth..”
You positioned yourself enough to turn and look up at your boyfriend with a curious smile, only for it to drop when you realized his eyes animated downwards. Ohhh, you hated when Billy was sad.
“Wha..? Why?” You asked, placing a hand on the side of his face and stroking it gently with your thumb. A robotic sigh could be heard from him, and he paused the show.
“It’s a super embarrassing reason..” You giggled when you saw the blush lines light up on his face, knowing that at least he had some humor left in him.
“Well, Billy, having a mouth has never stopped you from being yourself..” You replied.
“Yes it has!” He whined, making you scoff. In your head, you were thinking he wanted one to show he was talking.. but oh, how wrong you were.
Leaning back, you grabbed his hand and started tracing over the intricate details of it, kissing it, and then going back to studying it. “Why would you want one?” You asked.
“.. I can feel everything.. The way you feel is.. Y/n, your lips.. I just wanna be able to experience that. It’s hard not being able to kiss you. Not just on your lips, but everywhere.. you’re so amazing and...” He trailed off, failing to express himself in the way he wanted to. He frustratedly sighed, slumping over, and his head on top of yours, “I just feel like I’m falling short when it comes to loving you properly.. I dunno, it’s hard to explain..”
Your heartstrings were cutting your circulation, to say the least. You got up and turned your whole body to face Billy, straddling him, and then placing both hands on his shoulders, you shook him back and forth.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!,” you started, screaming so loud it made him jolt and reply with a small scream of his own. You stopped and continued, “Billy, you’re perfect. Literally. Even without all the extra features, you are perfect to me. I don’t care about what you don’t have, I care about what you do have..” Your concerned face started to wash away, watching his eyes grow in shock. Replacing concern was a lovestruck.
“Y/n..” He mumbled, barely audible. You continued, though, wanting to know exactly how much you loved him.
“I love you. I really do. You care so much about me, down to the way you hold me. That attention to detail is so… it’s so endearing and honestly, a turn on in some instances,” you felt your face heat up, but you pressed on, “I wouldn’t change you for the world because your expression of love, physical and emotional, are one of the things that I love about you. Don’t think for a second that you need to change yourself for me. Ever.”
“… Really..?” Billy asked, his trembling like he was about to cry. You smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek and nodded, “Yes, really!”
Billy chuckled and sighed, “..Are you sure..?” You giggled, noticing he was joking. “Yes, I’m sure..”
“Soooo, what you’re saying is.. my fingers are enough fore—”was all Billy could manage before you pushed him down and started suffocating him with the Bangboo plushie. His voice was replaced by muffled laughs and struggling noises.
“ENOUGH OF YOU.” You said, burning red in the face. You let him go after a minute or two, and his childish laughs and giggles got louder.
“I had to ask..!” You huffed at his reply and turned away to pout. Billy sat back up and rested his hands onto your hips and his eyes smiled. “Imagine if I had a tongue..”
Turning back to look at him you gasped and started yanking his hair, making him yelp. “CAN WE NOT??! IM TRYING TO BE SENTIMENTAL!”
“Yank it harder,” Billy started to laugh, only making you give up and let go, “Y’know I like it rough, baby..~” He jokingly followed up. You snorted and cracked a smile at his fake sexy voice, and sighed nodding your head.
“Okay, okay.. for realsies this time, Y/n..?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you too.. it means the world to me.”
—X—
A/N: billy uses humor to cope during serious situations, that’s my HC yeah.. anyways, i didn’t proofread this :3
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builtbybrokenbells · 4 months
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Poolsides & Pizza Boxes | JTK (1 of 2)
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A friendly hangout and an innocent drinking game turns into a troublesome affair.
Read part two here.
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Word count: 13.5k
Warnings: sexual situations, mentions of sexual frustrations, lots of sexual tension, like one smidgen of dry humping, embarrassing crushes, kissing/making out, awkward situations, play fighting, lots of friendly teasing, drinking, smoking, partying, swearing, a touch of angst, lots of fluff, sorry if i miss any! (stick around for part two for the rest 😉)
hi lovelies, I had a blast writing this! part two obviously is the more climactic part, but I hope you enjoy this for now. The next one should be out soon 🤍 as always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!
The summer sun was blinding, irritating your eyes as you shielded them with your hand. Your skin was warm, the cool pool water long forgotten and the droplets dried into a distant memory. The drink sitting in the cup holder of your patio chair was condensated, the ice inside melting the longer you sat, and the music blaring through your speaker was playing a song you hadn’t heard in a long time. The moment was perfect, the summer day exactly what you had dreamed of in the slump of work that only ever seemed to grow larger. What made it even better was the crowd of boys sitting poolside, their feet in the water and beer bottles in their hands.
As you sipped at your straw, you watched as one of them stood, the water running from his legs onto the brand new concrete panels on the ground. You looked upwards, your eyes settling on his face as he turned away from his brothers and took a step in your direction. His brown hair hung over his shoulders, framing his face and blowing softly in the barely-there breeze. You couldn’t help but feel your lips turn upwards into a smile as he continued on his path, standing in front of you and casting a shadow over your chair.
“The sun looks good on you, you know.” He said, his hands anchored on his hips as he gazed down upon your lax position in the chair.
“What does that mean, Jacob?” You raised an eyebrow, looking over the top your sunglasses at him. There was a hint of a smile on his lips too, and you could see his skin of his chest and shoulders beginning to redden from the constant sunlight touching it.
“It means you look better in the sun than you do behind an office desk.” He continued, pushing an identical chair closer to you with his leg. He stopped when the arm collided with yours, sending the ice in your drink clinking against the plastic cup. He sat down, turning his head to look at you before speaking again. “It means we have to do this more often.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” You sighed, pushing your glasses back up the bridge of your nose. You rested your head against the wooden back of the chair, taking in a long breath. The summer air was sweet, lingering with the scent of the blossoming flowers Jake had helped you plant by the doorway just a few days prior. When the wind blew just right, you were hit in the face with his cologne still lingering on his skin, mixing with the last bit of sunscreen that refused to wash away after his pool escapades. The scent was familiar, it was comfortable, and it made you think of home.
“Makes me think you’re forgetting about me, sometimes.”
“Forgetting about you?” You scoffed, chuckling at the idea alone. “As if I could do that even if I wanted to. And how does that make any sense? You’re here every fuckin’ day anyway.” At that, he let out a laugh, one that shook his shoulders and echoed through the air.
“Yeah, but hanging out with you is much different than listening to you talk on a boring conference call from across the room.” He brought the cap of his beer to the edge of the arm on his chair. After a few seconds spent positioning it correctly, he slammed his hand down on top of it. The cap popped off, clanging down on the concrete, and bubbles overflowed from the neck of the bottle. With a mischievous smile, he flicked his hands towards you. You jumped in surprise as the cold liquid hit your warm skin, sending him a glare that spoke louder than any words. “You moved halfway across the country so you could be near us again, and all you do is work.”
“Mhm,” you let out a hum, your lips pressed tightly together as you wiped away the droplets of beer from your chest. “You travel all over the world for months at a time, but you don’t hear me complain about it.” He shot you an incredulous look, shaking his head in disbelief that you would even say such a thing.
“Yeah, I do actually. Every minute of every day that I’m gone.”
“Now you’re just being dramatic.” You dismissed him, closing your eyes as you fought back a smile.
“I can pull up the texts if you’d like,” he said, reaching for the patio table on the other side of you to grab his phone. As he did, you grabbed his wrist, holding his hand back so he could not proceed any further. “And the phone calls.” He let out a long breath, upping his extravagance to bring extra attention to his point. He didn’t cower under your hold, but he didn’t try to move again. “It always goes something like—‘oh, Jake, when are you coming home? I miss you so much’ or ‘only three more sleeps!’” He put on an airy, high pitched voice as he recounted the things you said to him most often.
“Oh, so that’s how we’re going to do this?” You asked, sitting up in your chair and turning towards him. “You don’t want me to start.” You warned, still holding his wrist tightly in your hand.
“Oh, yeah, whatever.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“Uh-huh,” you hummed. “What about you? Calling me at three in the morning ‘cause you couldn’t sleep, or when you have a little too much to drink and you miss the sound of my voice?”
“Yeah, like I’d miss the sound of your annoying little ‘Jacob Kiszka’s’! You’re worse than my mom when you call!” He put an extra flair on his voice as he imitated you, striking a flame of annoyance within you.
“Maybe if you’d behave yourself when you’re gone, I wouldn’t have to—“
“Hey!” Josh shouted, turning his head back towards the two of you. “Stop fighting with each other. You’re ruining the vibes.” He motioned to the still, blue water of the pool, illuminated with sun rays.
“He started it.” You grumbled, letting go of his arm and pushing it away from yourself at the same time.
“I don’t care who started it, I’m finishing it!” Josh snipped, taking a sip of his drink. “Worse than children, the two of you.” He let out a disappointed tsk.
“Yes, mom.” You hung your head low with faux shame.
“Sorry, mom.” Jake joined, copying your actions. When Josh turned back to the pool, you could see Jake peeking over at you through the strands of his hair. You bit down on the inside of your lip, stifling the laugh that was rising in your throat. Then, in a hushed whisper, you could hear a grating sound coming from his lips. When you strained to listen, you could he him muttering words, mocking his twin brother for his inability to have fun.
The laugh that tore from your chest was loud, irritating, and disruptive to everyone sitting in the immediate vicinity. Your shoulders shook and your stomach ached from the laughter coursing through you. Josh whipped his head back around, his eyes settling on Jake with a scowl on his lips.
“Is he making fun of me? I know he’s making fun of me.” Josh huffed, ready to argue worse than what the two of you were doing moments before.
“No, Josh. Pinky promise that nobody was making fun of you.” You gave him a sweet smile, sipping at your straw.
“You always take his side!” Josh accused, still joking but spewing some truth about the situation.
“I’m not taking anyone’s side!” You defended, raising your hands in the air.
“F’course you are, ‘cause your in love with him!” Josh grumbled, frustrated at your constant insistence on having Jake’s back and not his.
“I am not!” You exploded, looking to the chair beside you. Jake was unbothered by the thought, amused by the situation unfolding before his eyes, and happy the attention was off him and on you, instead.
“Are too!” Sam joined in, using his foot to reel in one of the pool floaties. As he did, he slid from the poolside on top of the tube. After he situated himself, he pushed himself away from the side and floated to the middle of the water.
“Do you hear yourselves? Are you insane?” You fought off the accusations like your life depended on it, your cheeks burning red and your stomach twisted with embarrassment.
You weren’t sure why it was such a sore subject, but every time they spoke the idea into existence, your whole body felt like it would explode if you didn’t get yourself out of the spotlight.
“Look at her, she’s blushing.” Daniel cackled, his head turned just enough to see your face.
“Okay, that’s enough.” Jake cut in, realizing that you were more uncomfortable than they thought. “Josh, you’re just mad she broke up with you in the third grade. Let it go, man.” Jake said, watching as Josh’s expression dropped into one of great confusion. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. His lips dipped into a frown, then he turned back towards the pool, lifting himself off the ground by his arms and sinking into the water.
Even if the other three knew they were in the right, they were never a match for the two of you when you joined forces against them.
When everyone distracted themselves with drinks and swimming, easily moving on from the moment of torment, Jake reached his arm out to you. He brushed the hair away from your shoulders, letting his hand rest on the back of your neck. The touch was calming, and when his fingers slipped into the hair at the nape of your neck, gently scratching over your head, you nearly forgot what had you upset in the first place. Your eyes fluttered closed and you leaned back into the chair.
“They’re just being assholes, trouble.” The nickname fell from his lips, smooth like silk and sweet as sugar. You could listen to him call you that all day and you were certain you would never get tired of it. “They don’t mean it, they just like to get under your skin.”
“I know.” You hummed, lost in the feeling of his hand on your neck. “Just don’t like it when they team up on me, is all. I know they’re just joking.”
And you did; they had been joking about the same thing since the summer before freshman year of high school, when you had spent every single day following Jake around like a second shadow. It would have hurt you more had he not been doing the exact same thing to you, and it would have been unbearable if you actually did feel that way about him. Back then, you laughed it off, and so did he. Both of you knew the notion was incredibly incorrect, and neither of you were too concerned about the constant teasing that came along with having a best friend of the opposite sex in a small town during your high school years.
In fact, nothing really bothered you much. There was nothing in the world that seemed to be able to tear the two of you apart, and no rumors or suspicious whispers ever changed the dynamics of your relationship. He was your best friend, and to this day, the simple fact remained the same. After a fateful encounter at the soccer field at the school on a warm July morning, the two of you got to know each other beyond what’s expected of familiar faces. You realized you had a whole hell of a lot in common, and within seconds, you realized that friendship with Jake Kiszka was a prized possession you never wanted to give up.
You knew each other beforehand, seeing each other in class and of course, the disastrous heartbreak of his twin brother in the fall of third grade (the relationship only lasted two weeks, but he really liked you), but never explored the possibilities of friendship until that summer.
Since then, you had never known anything else.
You spent days in his bedroom, watching him (poorly) play the new guitar his dad bought for him and watching movies that would quickly turn into memories that served you great comfort. He would walk your dog with you, and occasionally get ice cream with you at the corner store down the street when you both managed to scrape together enough change. When the school year started, you were his crutch for academics, and he was your’s for anything social. Before him, you didn’t have many friends, and the idea of high school always struck a sensitive nerve within you. With him by your side, you never felt like you had to worry about a thing. He held your hand through your first (real) heartbreak, and you helped him practice asking out girls to the school dances.
As you grew older, life changed, but never your friendship. Summers were the same, only with a little more freedom. You went on road trips when you felt your third-hand car could survive it, and got your older brother to buy you booze for house parties. You dated plenty of people, but none of the relationships ever lasted. Plenty of tears were shed, lots of memories were made, and one thing forever remained constant; his presence in your life, and his unwavering support. He wiped away the tears, shared the bottle of vodka, and always knew where to find you when a slow song came over the loudspeaker so he could get at least one dance in at the parties.
It was a relationship everyone yearned for, yet not many got to enjoy. It was a love that was never broken, and one that was never misused. It was the knowledge of never being alone, and knowledge that you never had to fall, because there would always be someone to catch you. More importantly, it was knowing that even if you did fall, and if you fell as far as rock bottom, he would wait beside you until you were back on your feet. You loved Jake for many things, but his support was unlike anything else. He always let you feel your way, figure it out yourself before he tried to fix it for you. He encouraged you to stand, rather than picking you up. It allowed you to learn, to make mistakes you needed to, but you never had to do it alone.
Jake Kiszka was the kind of person everyone wanted in their life, and you were the one lucky enough to have him around. It was a constant reminder to appreciate him, but it was also a constant question of what you ever did to deserve him.
The love carried you through to the very end of senior year, and all the way to a bittersweet goodbye. All of the support you had given to each other encouraged you enough to follow your dreams. The only downside was that your dreams could not happen overnight, and you could not complete them alongside each other. You loved each other so much that it forced you away from each other, but you both knew that staying together in fear of losing would only make you lose even more.
With teary eyes, he stood outside your car that was packed with your whole life, holding you in his arms until the very last second. With a kiss on the head, he sent you across the country with a reminder that he would always be your biggest fan, even if he was not there to tell you. You drove for hours, remembering the sight of the four boys waving you off at the end of your driveway, and did not stop until you landed in front of a dorm room and you were too exhausted to shed another tear.
You drive home on holidays, spending as much time with him as you could, but time was a thief, and you never had as much time as you wanted. Every visit home, and with every road trip across the country he took to see you, things were different. Never love, but life. He was older, his hair longer and his face prettier (how, you did not know). He watched as university tried and failed to beat you down, and you watched as his biggest dreams began to come true. As beautiful as it was, the distance was a killer. You hated seeing him show up at your door, just slightly different than he looked the last time. You were tired of going home and realizing how much had changed.
When you graduated, he was living in Nashville, just signed on by a bigger label and preparing to travel the world. Still, despite his growing popularity and never ending excitement, he never forgot about you. He showed up with a bouquet of flowers and a single suitcase, RSVPing the invitation as soon as he received it. He spent four days with you, laughing and crying, staying up until odd hours of the morning in an attempt to cling to the memory just a little longer. He told you he was going to start touring, and that he was scared he would lose you. You laughed and shook your head, knowing you would call and text him every spare minute you had.
Distance tried hard to tear the two of you apart the first time, and was determined to do it the second. Thankfully the two of you were strong enough to withstand it, and you knew that no matter how hard the years tried to change you, one thing remained certain; Jake would always be your best friend, no matter how far away he was.
You settled in Oregon for a few years, working outside with the environmental science degree you had bled for. He continued to travel the world, playing stages for thousands of people and releasing music he’d dreamed of writing since he was old enough to walk. You called, texted, and every now and again, visited each other. Life was good, simple and fun, but it didn’t feel right.
You had no idea why it felt that way, until you broke down on the phone with Jake as you confessed how badly you missed him.
That’s when things began to change.
He showed up, 85 hours later and running on zero sleep. With little plans and no real answer to your problems, he appeared at your front door, willing to do anything he could to take away the ache in your chest. It was a night full of tears, both of you drunk off wine and the feeling of being together again. In your bed in a run-down one bedroom apartment, he asked you to move to Nashville. After years of keeping silent, he admitted to how bad it was to be away from you. He offered you a place to stay and help looking for a job, and anything you could ever possibly need so long as you were living in the same city as him.
At first, you laughed.
Three weeks later, he flew back to Oregan with his brothers in tow and helped you pack up your life all over again.
This time, for good.
His brothers flew back to Nashville after the brunt of the work was done, but he stayed so he could drive with you. Standing in the driveway of the apartment complex where you had spent the last two years of your life, things seemed the same as they always did. You and your best friend against the world, ready to face a whole new and exciting chapter. As soon as he got behind the wheel of the car, assuring you he would drive the first half of the way, it was different.
Jake was not your childhood best friend who you shared scraped knees and melting ice cream cones with. He wasn’t the boy who used to play guitar for you in his parents basement, nor was he the one who walked your dog with you on those hot summer days. He was a man who was willing to drop everything in his (extremely) busy life to travel halfway across the country to make you happy. He was a man who was more beautiful than you could remember, and he was a man you were willing to drop your entire life for just to be with him again.
He was the same person, and so were you, but this time, everything changed.
You were in love with him, and so impossibly so that it made your head spin and your stomach sick.
You made a vow to secrecy, knowing if he ever found out, the world would never be the same. Losing him was not something you were ever willing to consider, because he was the only constant you ever had in the ever-changing world. For six months, you bargained with the feelings while sleeping in his spare room (some nights) and ate dinner with him at his kitchen table. Most of the time, especially at the beginning, you fell asleep in his bed while you watched terribly filmed and scripted YouTube documentaries in his bed, and you woke up with his arm slung across your waist and his head buried in your neck. You tried to tell yourself that with time, the fleeting feeling would pass and you would consider yourself ridiculous for ever thinking you felt that way about him, but that time never came. When he left for tour, gone for weeks at a time, you missed him more terribly than you ever had despite living in his home with his memory seared into every corner.
The reunions were sweeter, the hugs longer and the warmth in your heart larger than ever before. It was a dangerous game to play, because it was so hard to keep it to yourself. You knew that if things continued the way they had been going, you’d be forced down on one knee with a ring in your hand, begging for marriage.
So, a reluctant conversation surfaced after the third night in a row you had fallen asleep next to him. It was not the conversation you wanted to have, but it was one you needed to have. You sat him down, telling him with faux happiness that you had enough money to put a down payment on a house a few blocks away. You expected him to rejoice, to celebrate the victory of home ownership with you and jump to help you move out, but he did none of those things. Instead, he forced a tight-lipped smile on his face after he cleared his throat. He gave one, firm nod and reached across the table to grab your hand.
“I didn’t know you were looking.” He said, his sadness equal to a punch in the stomach. “I would have let you live here forever, you know. I never wanted you to move out.”
You had so many questions, ones that you did not know if you wanted an answer to. You looked down at his hand in yours, wondering how you had gotten yourself in such a position. You had fallen for the one person you knew you shouldn’t, and you couldn’t bear the thought of the consequences, which is why you forced yourself to buy the fixer-upper, anyway.
Had you gotten it wrong? Did he feel the same as you did?
You were too cowardly to ask, and a month later, you had enlisted the help of the four boys to renovate a house you weren’t even that keen on living in. With five of you, the work was pretty fast, but that was the worst part of it all. After seeing Jake’s reaction to you telling him you were moving out, you wanted to stay, to drag the renovations out for as long as humanly possible, but you knew they would catch on. Instead of dwelling on all of the things you should have said, you focused on what you were going to have. Luckily, the house renovations were mostly aesthetic, and it was done within a few weeks. By the end of it, you were excited to have something of your own to do whatever you pleased with.
Then, Jake had to suggest a fucking pool.
You were happy, content with having everything finished and being moved in (and more importantly, moved out of his house). Things finally seemed to go back to normal, no waking up next to a boy who made your heart beat a little too fast, and no dinners bordering too close to romance.
But it was boring, and you made the mistake of complaining about it.
“It’ll be a great housewarming gift, y/n.” He said, his arms outstretched as a shit-eating grin encased his (infuriatingly) beautiful face.
“Jacob, I don’t need a pool. Besides, I spent all of my money tearing out the carpet and buying the ‘real’ wooden panel flooring that Sam insisted I needed.” You argued, looking down at the expensive flooring with a scowl on your lips. “Stupid fuckin’ wood.”
“That was your fault for listening to Sam in the first place!” He exclaimed, looking around the empty living room. “And besides, do you even know what a gift is? It means someone gives it to you, because they bought it.”
“You’re not buying me a pool, Jacob Kiszka.”
“You’re right,” he gave a slow nod, looking at the fenced in backyard through the large living room windows. “I’m not going to buy you a pool. I’m going to pay a bunch of men to build one!”
Turns out that building a pool is much more costly than he previously anticipated. You figured he would scrap the idea entirely and just buy you an inflatable kiddie pool on your birthday to keep true to his word. You would have been fine with it —no, you would have been more than happy with it. You weren’t sure you could accept such a grandois show of affection from a man you were trying so hard not to have feelings for, but you knew better than to expect the bare minimum from Jake. In the ten or so years of knowing him, he had never stooped as low as the bare minimum.
So he suggested the two of you do the brunt of the work together, then he would pay someone to do the rest.
The issue was, neither of you had any idea how to build a pool (or start to, for that matter) and that entailed a surplus of quality time that you moved out specifically to avoid.
But, you had never been able to say no to Jake, especially when his eyes grew soft and his bottom lip jutted out into a small pout. Puppy dog eyes were your kryptonite, and from him, you were sure it would be your demise.
After a few weeks of digging up ground and clearing your backyard, the area was finally sufficient to hire someone to finish the job. Not long after that, the concrete was poured and set, and soon enough, what used to be a grassy patch had become a pool that was much more expensive than you ever could have afforded.
“This is too much, Jake. I can never even begin to repay you for this.” You said, a hand on your head as your facial features twisted with stress. It was stunning, inviting, and your favourite part of the entire home, and it was all thanks to him.
“You don’t need to repay me, trouble. I wanted to do it.” He said, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he pulled you into his side. The action made your heart flutter and your stomach fill with butterflies. “Do you know how fun it’s going to be? We can get Sam some arm floaties and Josh a life jacket, then we can have so many pool parties.”
“What did I ever do to deserve you?” You sighed, resting your head on his shoulder as you looked out at the blue water.
“I ask myself the same thing about you, every day.” His hand on your upper arm tightened ever so slightly as he spoke. “You dropped your entire life to move to Nashville, Y/N, just so we could be together again. Do you have any idea how much that means to me? Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?” You turned your head upwards, looking over his face. His head was already turned down and he seemed to have been staring at you for some time.
“I love you, Jake.” You mumbled, giving him a smile. If only he knew how true the words really were.
“I told you a pool was a great idea, trouble.” Jake said, clearly trying to take your mind off Josh’s teasing. You crossed your arms over your chest, the still-damp material of your bikini top sticking to your dry skin as you did so.
“I’m not going to say it, Jake.” You huffed, standing your ground. He’d been trying to get you to tell him he was right since the day the pool was finished, but you had bit your tongue and held back every time. “Your head is big enough as is. No need for me to inflate your ego even more.”
“Oh, so that’s how you want to be?” He asked, sitting up in his chair. His eyebrows were knitted together as his eyes silently begged you to retract the rude statement.
“That’s how I’m going to be, yeah.” You nodded, unwilling to back down. “What’s it to you?”
“You know, I’ve always been so nice to you, and I’m just supposed to take this abuse?” He continued, making a move to stand. He sat his beer on the table on the opposite side of you, raising to his feet with a slight sway. You could tell the summer heat was mixing with the alcohol in his system, and he was feeling good. In truth, you weren’t far behind him in the drunken race.
“Yeah, I’m just the worst, Jake. I’m so mean to you.” You laughed, looking up at him as he stood over you. His shadow casted a chill over you, making you realize you hadn’t moved from the sun soaked seat in hours.
“You said it, not me.” He said, his hands on his hips as he continued to tower over you. “Are you going to take it back?”
“Fuck no!” You laughed, placing your drink beside you in case he made any sudden moves that caused a spill. “I’m not going to tell you that you were right, and I’m not going to take it back. You have an ego problem, Jacob, and I think it’s time you realized it. You don’t have to be right all of the time.” The sass in your tone was completely humorous, used only to irritate him further.
Even as you two found yourself in a mock-fight, you couldn’t help but admire the beauty of the picture before you. His sun-kissed skin was glowing under the rays, and his dark hair was tousled perfectly after it had dried from his pool escapades. There was a slight wave to it, and the wind was blowing it away from his face. His shirtless chest was catching your attention, but not nearly as much as the peek of a v-line from his swim trunks, and the patch of hair under his belly button leading to the hem of the fabric. Your heart sped as you remembered what it felt like with his chest pressed to your back and his hand resting on your hip while he was sleeping away the earliest hours of the morning.
Either he did not notice your staring, or he did and he opted not to call you out on it. You were happy either way, because not even being caught staring at Jake was an embarrassment anymore. It happened so often that you felt odd when your eyes weren’t on him. Before you could digest his eyes on you in the same way, he was leaning down with outstretched arms. With ease, one of his arms slid around your lower back. He shifted to the side, hooking his other arm under your thighs. With a swift motion, he lifted you off the chair. You let out a shriek of discontent, knowing exactly where his mind was as he straightened himself up. Now that he was holding you, he seemed all the more steady on his feet, almost as if he was terrified to drop you.
“Jacob Kiszka, do not throw me in that pool or I swear to god—“
“Or what?” He mocked you, cutting you off as he took two steps away from the chair. Your arms slung around his neck, holding on tightly as he clambered closer to the poolside. “What are you gonna do, trouble?”
“I don’t know, but it won’t be good!” You fought against his hold, trying to shake out of his grasp and land back on your feet.
“Oh, I’m so scared!” He laughed, his feet now at the very edge of the pool. “Say it, trouble! Last chance!”
“Never!” You fought back, feeling your body already tense in anticipation of the cold water on your skin.
“Throw her, Jake!” Josh cheered in the background, lingering in the deep end by the side so he avoided the splash zone. He was laughing at the sight of the two of you, always amidst some kind of argument. Jake looked over his shoulder at his brother, smirking at the encouragement.
Josh had a knowing look in his eye, his feelings completely unspoken but apparent to the boy standing over the pool. He knew, just as well as Danny and Sam did. Even as Jake tried to play it cool, and as you deflected every accusation, love completely surrounded the two of you wherever you went.
“Josh, what the hell! You’re supposed to be on my side!” You pleaded, frantic for someone to stop him before he let go.
“Do it, Jake!” Danny yelled over the sound of your voice, laughing as he watched your head whip towards him.
“You guys fucking suck-“ before you could finish your angry sentiments, you felt Jake’s arms move upwards. You took in a sharp breath, holding it as you prepared yourself for him to follow through with throwing you in the water.
But, you had always been the one to get the last laugh.
As he tossed you forward, you tightened your arms around him. As your body pulled away from his, your arms stayed locked behind him, causing him to stumble with the force he’d thrown you with. You heard a laugh leave his lips as your ass touched the surface of the pool, and not long after you were fully submerged in the water. You were barely able to contain your laughter when Jake fell into the water on top of you. When you swam to the surface, you noticed that he did not join you. You looked down into the water, nervous that you might have hurt him, but you did not have to think of it for very long; his hands reached for your thighs as he swam towards you, and with one strong motion, he pulled you back under the water again.
Smiling and holding your breath, you tried your best to fight his hold. After a few seconds of a futile attempt, he loosened his grip and the both of you resurfaced. With his arms still around you and his hair covering his face, he guided you towards the shallow end before he pulled you into his chest. His breathing was ragged, still recovering from the minutes underwater. You relaxed against him, finding yourself breathless for a whole different reason.
“Good one, trouble.” He muttered, pushing his hair away from his face. The water droplets streaming down his cheeks only made him all the more inviting, and his hand on your barely clothed hip was driving you crazy. He reached out, brushing the stray hairs away from your face, in no hurry to move away from you.
“The pool was a good idea, Jake.” You whispered, smiling at him. His lips parted slightly as he tried to process what you were saying to him, and after a few seconds, you saw his eye twitch as he held back a grin.
“What was that? I couldn’t quite hear you.” He said, turning his head to the side so his ear was closer to your mouth.
“Don’t make me say it again.” You groaned, but you were still smiling despite your annoyance.
“Just one more time?” He pleaded, his fingers tightening on your hip as he asked. It was absent minded, almost as if it was natural for him to touch you so intimately. He didn’t even seem to think twice about it, and he certainly didn’t seem keen on breaking the hold.
“Fine,” you huffed, unable to deny the man of anything he asked for. “You were right about the pool.”
“Sorry, trouble. Can you speak up? I really can’t hear you.” He said, a laugh stuck in his throat as he continued the bit.
“Oh, fuck you, Jake.” You grumbled, rolling your eyes at him.
“—I’m not paying a delivery fee when I have two working legs!” Your attention was drawn to the poolside yet again, and as you looked past Jake to see what the commotion was about, you could have sworn you felt Jake move to be just a little bit closer to you. “Can you think? Do you ever use your head?” Sam continued, flicking Josh on the forehead to solidify his stance on the matter. Josh swatted his hand away, clearly annoyed with his actions but trying to keep his composure.
“Ten dollars is really going to kill you? Ten fucking dollars?” Josh fought back, his eyebrows knitted together similar to how Jake’s looked when he was upset. Jake turned fully, sliding his arm around you so he did not have to lose contact while he watched his brothers argue. You couldn’t help but feel the familiar swarm of butterflies overtake your stomach once again.
“Maybe it is, ‘cause it’s ten dollars I don’t have to spend!”
“You’re cheap, Sam.” Josh responded, his lips turning down into a frown.
“It’s okay. We can walk, it’s not that far.” Daniel said, breaking the tension with a hand on both of their shoulders. “We can stop at the corner store and grab another case of beer on the way back.” Danny offered. “They won’t deliver that, anyway.” With a huff through his nose, Josh eventually gave a nod.
“Fine, we can walk, but that’s not my point.” He said, stepping away from the two to grab his wallet and his shirt. “You know I’m right, you just won’t admit it.” He pointed a finger at Sam, his tone grave.
“God, you two really are twins.” You whispered, looking sideways at Jake.
“What can I say? We’re stubborn.” Jake gave a slight shrug of his shoulder.
“That’s putting it lightly.” You giggled, turning back to the three standing together.
“We’re going to get pizza,” Josh announced. “And we’re walking, because ten dollars split five ways is just too much for Sam.” You stifled a laugh, biting down on the inside of your lip so you did not further the tension in the air. “And we’re going to the gas station, I guess. Care to join?” Josh asked, looking suspiciously between the two of you. You glanced at Jake, waiting for him to answer first. When he realized all three of them were staring at you, he slowly removed his arm from your waist.
“No, I’ll stay, I think.” He cleared his throat, looking at you as he awaited your response.
“Yeah, me too.” You nodded, forcing a small smile despite your anxiety about the situation you’d found yourselves in.
“Figures.” Josh gave a cheeky smile, slipping his shirt over his head. “We’ll be back, please don’t forget that.” He continued as the other two boys stepped towards the fence gate. You felt your cheeks burn, looking down towards the water to avoid the staring. “You guys want anything? As long as Sam doesn’t deem it too expensive to buy?”
“Shove it, Josh.” Sam muttered, unlatching the metal lock as he pushed open the wooden door. “Be back soon!” He called over his shoulder as the other two followed him out. When the gate slammed closed, the lock clicked itself shut, sealing the two of you alone inside your backyard.
You shook your head, chuckling at the scene that had just unfolded before looking over to your best friend, who already seemed to find himself staring at you. Without a word, you took a few steps forward in the water, reaching out for the floatie Sam had abandoned when pizza was mentioned. Jake followed closely behind you, likely scheming another way to disrupt your day of relaxation. You pulled the brightly coloured tube towards you, steadying yourself as you centered it with your body. With one strong push, you pulled yourself up out of the water and lurched forward, heaving a sigh of relief as you landed on the tube. You turned around, careful not to fall off, and settled your ass in the middle. With a small smile, you relaxed and let your arms hang over the side, your fingers grazing the surface of the water as you looked up at the sky.
Jake was beside you, smiling to himself as he watched you. “You look comfortable.” He noted, propping his arms on the side of the floatie and resting his chin on it as he gazed up at your face.
“I am.” You agreed, looking at him through the corner of your eye. “And I’d like to stay that way, if you don’t mind.”
“You always think the worst of me, sweetheart.” He laughed quietly to himself, seemingly lost in thought about something other than the topic at hand. “Do you remember the year we bought that cheap inflatable pool? We put it in your backyard and sat in it all summer.”
“Yeah,” you laughed at the thought, closing your eyes as you recalled the memory. “It was that summer before senior year. My car broke down on the way to Walmart. Took us all damn day to even get the thing.”
“We got it though, after Josh came to the rescue.” He reminded you.
“That pool was like four feet wide, max. I have no idea how the two of us even fit in it.” You grinned. “And it looked like a watermelon. The cashier thought we were idiots.”
“Because we are.” He laughed, turning his head to the side so his cheek was laying on his arm and his eyes were stuck on you.
“Yeah, we were.” You nodded, bringing your hand to his face and brushing the stray hairs away from his eyes. You knew you shouldn’t, and that the touch was too intimate for a friendly relationship, but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to touch him all of the time and never have to worry about anything else.
“Did you ever think we would end up here, in a real pool, living as sort-of neighbors almost ten years later?” He asked, reminiscing on the years of memories shared between the two of you.
“No.” You shook your head, only telling him a half-truth. You didn’t think you would end up like this, but you had always hoped you would. Actually, you always hoped you would end up like you were months before, living together in the same home, sharing a bed every night. Although you had what you once dreamed of, it wasn’t in the way you wanted it to be. As much as you enjoyed your brief stay at Jake’s house, you knew it was for the best that you left. You couldn’t keep hoping for love when you knew it wasn’t possible. You couldn’t open yourself up to the idea, because you couldn’t stomach the thought of losing him.
“I miss you living with me.” He confessed, his cheeks rosy from the liquor coursing through his veins. He would never have harnessed the courage to admit it sober, but he felt like he needed to get it off his chest, just in case you felt the same. “My bed is weirdly empty without you in it.” You felt frozen in place, his words hitting you much harder than they should have. You didn’t want to speak, fearful that the moment meant more to you than it did to him, so instead you sat, staring at him with parted lips and surprise in your eyes. “Sorry, that was weird. I didn’t mean—“
“S’okay, Jake.” You smiled, letting your hand fall from his face to his bicep. You gave his arm a small squeeze, reassuring him that it was alright. “I miss it too. I think I jumped the gun with buying a house. It’s nice, and I am excited, but it’s lonely, I guess.”
“Why did you leave?” He asked, the words coming out too quick for him to possibly stop them. As you looked over his expression, you realized it was a question he’d been dying to ask since you told him that you were moving out.
“Oh,” you breathed, swallowing hard as you tried to come up with a quick lie. “I, uh, I didn’t want you to get sick of me. I felt bad, like I was a freeloader and you were doing charity work.” You forced a smile on your face, trying to make the situation lighter by joking, but he didn’t seem to take it as such. His eyebrows furrowed, and a flash of pain crossed his eyes.
“You know I would never feel that way, Y/N. I waited for you, you know? Till you were finished school, for when you had a job and you knew what you wanted to do… I waited for you to call me and tell me you wanted to be with me again.” Your heart sped and your stomach sunk. As sweet as the sentiment was, you couldn’t help but feel yourself grow defensive over the idea. He was being far too romantic for a man who never once seemed keen on being more than friends.
“I just… I had to, Jake, okay?” You rushed out, scared he would back you into a corner and make you confess the one thing you wanted to keep secret. The pain on his face made you regret the words immediately, and you knew that fighting was the last thing you wanted to do. “I’m sorry.” You breathed, trying to focus and understand the jumble of words plaguing your brain. You wanted to be honest, to tell the truth, but every time you came close, you thought you might be sick. “I loved living with you, Jake. I think it was the happiest I’ve ever been, but I don’t want you to get sick of me, and I think that being roommates with someone you love so much is a tricky thing. I… losing you would be the worst thing in the whole world.”
“You’re ridiculous, Y/N.” His words were harsh, but his lips were upturned into a smile. “In all of the years I’ve known you, I’ve never been sick of you, and I never will be.” He said, the certainty in his tone making your head spin. “But hey, we got a pool. That has to count for something.” You liked the sound of his words, making it seem like you two were more than best friends. If not a couple, then definitely a team.
“We did get a pool.” You grinned, only slightly guilty that you had such a hard time returning his sweet words.
As always, you were terrified that it would mean something different to him than it did to you.
“You know what the best thing about a pool is?” He asked, his eyes scanning the still surface of the water.
“Hmm?” You hummed, naive to believe his question was innocent.
“It makes it so easy to annoy you.” He answered, giving you no time to register his words before he backed away from the tube and dipped his hands below it. With a strong push, he flipped it over and sent you tumbling into the water again.
You were so shocked at the suddenness of his actions that you forgot to hold your breath, finding yourself choking on water as you forced your way back to the surface. When your head popped back up, you were too busy coughing to notice Jake’s echoing laughter. When he noticed your distress, the amusement disappeared and concern replaced it. He pushed the tube out of the way, swimming towards you as you continued to clear your lungs of any water that remained.
“Hey,” Jake said, now in front of you as he reached out to hold you. “Are you okay?” He asked, looking over your face as you took in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, trouble. I was just messing around.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright.” You nodded, noticing the closeness of his body as his hands lingered on your arms. “You’re a dick.” You snipped, fully recovered as a grin blossomed on your cheeks.
“Seriously, you’re okay?” He disregarded your insult completely, still concerned with your well-being.
“Yeah, I’m good.” You nodded, reaching out and placing a hand on his side under the water to reassure him of the fact. He was so close, so comfortable and alluring. You couldn’t seem to pull yourself away from him, remembering how nice the physical contact felt with him. He didn’t seem to be in a rush to part ways with you, either, his eyes locked with yours and his hands anchored in position.
Instead of dwelling on the yearning of your heart, you took advantage of the moment and used all of the force you could muster to push him. He lost his footing under the pressure and stumbled backwards, his upper half crashing into the water as he sank below the surface with a splash. With a laugh stuck in your throat, you watched him fight his way above water as he suffered through your revenge. When he was back on his feet, there was a fire in his eyes and a devious smile on his face.
“No, Jake, we’re even now.” You pleaded, pointing a finger of warning in his direction as he began to move towards you.
“Uh-huh.” He nodded, clearly in disagreement with you.
“Seriously, stop!” You exclaimed, backing away from him as he closed in on you. Before you could get away, he was in front of you and his hands landed on your hips. In a moment of desperation, you locked your legs around his waist as he lifted you off your feet, cementing the idea in his head that if you went down, he was coming with you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him as closely as you could to deter his attack. “I swear to god, Jake, stop!” You let out a shriek of laughter, preparing for his unforgiving nature one last time, but it never came.
Instead, he seemed frozen in place, immobile from the position you had forced upon him. When the adrenaline faded and you understood he was making no further effort to dunk you under the water, your sanity returned and so did your self-awareness. In your desperation to avoid his shenanigans, you had clung to him in such a way that his face was settled on your chest, and your legs wrapped around him so tightly that you had put him in a very compromising position. If that wasn’t enough to embarrass you, your actions not only seemed to cause a short circuit in his brain, but a growing problem in his pants. A problem that was so imminent you could feel it.
You were certain he could feel your heartbeat through your chest as his chin rested on top of your breasts, propped up by the padded material of your bikini top. Your hands tangled in the hair on the back of his neck did not make the scene any less explicit than it already was, and perhaps the worst part of it all was that shame seemed like a far away feeling, covered completely by need for him. For a moment, you weren’t lifelong best friends, nor were you afraid of any consequences. You were a woman consumed with desire for the person below you, and it seemed as though he was a man gone mad. You feared you had the signal mixed up, that you were so lost in your own feelings for him that you were confusing his feelings for you. Then, his hands on your hips slid backwards, cautious and careful as his grip settled on your ass.
You took in a shaky breath, the touch electrifying your entire body. In reaction, without thinking, you shifted downwards on him. Somewhere deep in his chest, a low groan sounded as his fingers tightened on you. The skimpy bikini bottoms left little to the imagination as he pulled you down on him further, his cock pressing against your clothed core. Your eyes fluttered closed, wondering if you were dreaming or if the euphoric feeling of being so close was actually a reality. You turned your head downwards, finding him already looking up at you with an unfamiliar look in his eye. He straightened his upper half, his face lifting from your chest and advancing unusually close to your own. You could smell the alcohol on his breath as the tip of his nose brushed against yours, and it was driving you close to insanity.
You wanted to taste him, to feel his lips on yours and explore the possibilities that were presenting themselves. You could feel how hard he was, how badly he needed the relief similar to yourself. Your mouth was watering at the idea of feeling him, and you were aching at the fantasy of finally having him in a way you only ever dreamed of.
The tips of his fingers traced the outline of your bikini bottoms, curious and eager to go further. Why wasn’t he pulling away? Why was he letting this go so far without saying a word to stop it? Could he really feel the same way? There were too many questions, and you did not care much for the answer as you lowered your hips on him a little further. As you did so, the friction from the movement gave you a sense of relief. A quiet whine forced its way through your teeth, and you were unable to stop it before it reached his ears.
“Careful, trouble.” He whispered, his voice husky and the vibration of his chest rattling your own. His lips were so close to yours, nearly brushing yours as he moved them to speak. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” His tone of voice made it hard to decipher if his statement was a warning or an invitation.
“Who said I can’t finish it?” You challenged, desperate to keep him there for a little while longer. You weren’t ready to give him up just yet.
“You know better.” He said, the words forced like he hated to say it. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Why not?” You challenged, your face inching closer to his own as you awaited a proper answer.
“God,” he hissed, sucking a sharp breath in through his teeth. “You always make it so fucking hard to do the right thing.” This time, he pulled you down on him, unable to resist the temptation of feeling you on him.
Before you could get to the bottom of his ambiguous words, voices filled the air through the screen door of your kitchen and a rush of fear filled you. The grating sound of the tread on the door against the frame caused you to recoil away from Jake, pushing yourself backwards as if you had never been in the confusing situation at all. As bodies filled the patio, laughing and completely unaware of what they interrupted, you looked to Jake to see what he was thinking. As if it was some kind of sick joke, his face was plastered with undeniable disappointment, and behind his eyes, there was a glimmer of hurt.
You thought you might be sick. Your head was pounding and your stomach was twisted with anxiety. To make matters even worse, you were still aching for relief, aching to be back in his arms with your body pressed against his. Surely there was no way in hell that he wanted it too, and you tried to convince yourself you were crazy for thinking so, but the sadness on his face told you a completely different story. His lack of care about the position and his enjoyment of the moment was obvious, but it was too much to process all at once.
Instead, you decided to pretend that it never happened at all. Of course, it was the most painful thing to do, but in his own words, it was the right thing to do.
“Jesus, what happened? You both look like you saw a ghost.” Josh asked, his voice booming and breaking you both from the storm of emotions consuming you. There was a smile on his lips and clear ignorance to what the group had interrupted. You cleared your throat, shaking the emotions away as you noticed the group had doubled in size since the three had left. The boys partners had been planning on joining after work, but in lieu of the whirlwind of events, the knowledge seemed to slip your mind.
“No, all good.” You assured him, glancing at Jake to see he’d made a quick recovery, too.
“Hope you don’t mind the extra company.” Josh grinned, setting a pizza box down on the patio table.
“No, f’course not. The more the merrier, right?” You forced a smile, but you knew everyone could tell that it wasn’t genuine. You hoped that they didn’t misconstrue the dishonesty behind it, because it had nothing to do with extra bodies surrounding the pool, but rather the boy stuck in there with you.
“Right.” Josh nodded, smiling at his partner beside him. “Come and eat, trouble.” He said, nodding his head to the chairs you and Jake had sat in not long before.
“Yeah, okay.” You breathed, giving a curt nod. “You coming?” You asked Jake, feeling guiltier by the second.
“Yeah,” he nodded, his voice hoarse as his eyes connected with yours. “Just give me a minute.” He whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. Your cheeks burned at his words, realizing what he meant and why he had to stay. “Please?” He pleaded, knowing that having you in the pool beside him was not helping his situation.
“Yeah, okay.” You nodded, nervous as you repeated the same words as earlier. In a rush, you swam towards the ladder and hoisted yourself up. You climbed out of the pool, shuffling towards the group as you tried to pull yourself together. You grabbed a towel from the back of a chair as you approached the group, drying your hands before quickly wiping the water from your limbs. Sam seemed enamored with his partner, barely noticing anything that was happening around them, and Daniel was amidst a painful bout of flirting with the girl he’d been talking to for weeks now. You felt good, confident that nobody was suspicious of you and what happened while they were gone, until your eyes locked with Josh’s.
He cocked his head to the side, a playful smirk on his lips as he raised an eyebrow. Plagued with guilt and embarrassment, you cowered under his stare, giving him all the answer he needed. In true Josh fashion, he couldn’t have cared less about what happened so long as he knew for a fact that something happened. He was selective with his need for gossip, never caring about the details but desperate to know that his suspicions were correct, especially when it came to you and Jake. Thankfully, the intensity of the moment dissipated as people began to fill the chairs around the table. Paper plates were passed around as pizza was served, and Jake had recovered enough to get out of the pool and join the rest of you.
Sam’s girlfriend was in his lap on the chair, and Danny was sitting next to his new fling, taking up two seats. Josh, seeing the opportunity to further his torment of you and Jake, took one of the two remaining chairs and offered it to his boyfriend. Then, he threw a folded towel on the ground and took a seat in front of him, between his legs. With a devilish smile, he looked to you and Jake, awkwardly glancing at the only available seat left with plates of food in your hand.
“You take it, trouble.” Jake said, motioning his head towards the chair. “I’m fine sitting on the ground.”
“No, Jake. You take it.” You shook your head, unwilling to make him sit on the ground after you had hurt his feelings.
“Come on, don’t be like that.” He frowned, too stubborn to take it from you.
“Here’s an idea,” Josh pitched in his two cents, sipping his drink before continuing. “You could both sit on the chair so neither of you have to sit on the ground?” He offered, raising an eyebrow. You shot him a glare, expecting nothing less but hoping to be proven wrong. “What? You guys shared a bed for months, but sitting on his lap is too much?” Josh was desperate for a reaction, desperate for the two of you to fess up about how you felt for each other, and he was playing devils advocate to get his way. “Unless there’s a problem, trouble?” He pushed a little harder, but you stood your ground in hopes of silencing him.
“No, no problem at all, as long as you’re okay with that.” You looked at Jake, who gave a shrug. He knew just as well as you did what his twin brother was trying to do, but arguing with him never got you anywhere.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” He nodded, taking a seat on the chair. He outstretched his arms towards you, inviting you in with great pleasure as if the awkward moment in the pool never happened at all. He had a paper plate clutched in one hand and a beer in the other with a dopey smile on his lips and rosy cheeks. Despite all of the days strange events, you could not seem to refute the fact that he was adorable.
You stepped towards him, careful as you placed your drink on the table. You sat, mindful not to hurt him as you shifted into a comfortable position in his lap. You twisted to the side, throwing both of your legs over his as you leaned back on him. He put his beer bottle into the cup holder in the arm of the chair and hooked his arm around your waist to hold you in position.
“How’s that?” He asked, just loud enough for you to hear.
“Good.” You squeaked, unable to confess how much you truly enjoyed it. He placed his paper plate on your leg, and within seconds, the awkwardness dissolved into nothing.
You ate, laughing at the topics the boys were discussing (and arguing about), pretending like it was just another normal day for you, but your mind couldn’t help but wander back to the incident in the pool. You couldn’t stop thinking about his hands on you, testing his limit as they travelled over your skin. Your mind only wanted to remember how close his face was to yours, his warm breath on your skin and his nose brushing your own. More than that, you couldn’t seem to forget the way he felt underneath you, worked up from the position alone and nothing else. Over and over again the memory of him pulling your hips down on his filled your mind, and it didn’t take long for the incessant ache began between your legs yet again.
Truth be told, it was not the first time the two of you found yourselves in a compromising position—in fact, it happened more often than not, but this time, it seemed intentional. There was no shying away, and both of you seemed content with progressing further had there been no interruptions. Back when you lived with him, finding yourself sleeping in his bed more often than not, compromising positions were the only way you ever started your day. Whether you woke up, your face resting comfortably on his chest and his hand on your hip to hold you in place, or if you were on your side with his chest pressed against your back and his hand nestled under your shirt on your stomach. Closeness was not foreign to you and Jake, and unfortunately, neither was sexual tension.
Most mornings, more so when he found himself as the big spoon, your ass pressed against him did little to help keep things platonic. It was always a struggle to force yourself out of bed, to pretend you didn’t notice a thing so he did not feel ashamed or embarrassed about his own actions, because you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and take care of the problems for him.
In fact, you were certain there was not a problem in the world you wouldn’t take pleasure in solving for him.
But today, you were conscious, both aware of the consequences and uncaring of them. He was willingly holding you there, testing his limits in the process, and he was sad when you pulled away. That was something you did not expect from him, and it was the very thing that was causing all of the overthinking in the first place. Did he really want you, or was he just being a guy, desperately infatuated by a woman no matter who she was? Was his sexual frustration your doing, or a result of a sexual draught he’d been caught in for months? You and Jake had always dated other people, but it usually never extended beyond hookups and talking stages. Since you’d moved in with him, neither of you even bothered to search for a date or a person to bring home after the bar. At first, you thought you were doing it out of respect for him and a dislike for the idea of having sex with someone else in his house, but you quickly understood that it was much more than that.
You didn’t want to date or hookup with anyone, because you wanted to do it with him. It had nothing to do with respect, and everything to do with your feelings towards the one boy you shouldn’t feel that way about.
You were confused, anxious, and worried that the instance might change the dynamic of your friendship, especially if any of your previous questions were answered with something undesirable. You wanted him to want you. You wanted him to love you, in the same undying and relentless way that you loved him, but it was far too much to ask of him. You didn’t want him to sleep with you because he was in a dry spell; you wanted him to sleep with you because he wanted you, rather than just for sex. The longer you thought about it, the more you realized you had been feeling this way for much longer than you ever realized it.
“Y/N?” Jake asked, shaking you slightly. You snapped back to reality by the burning feeling of his palm on your bare thigh. You turned your head towards him, wondering what he wanted and how long you had been zoned out for. You gazed around the circle of friends, realizing that all eyes were on you. The embarrassment began to eat you alive as you mustered out a hum of acknowledgment. “Josh was wondering if you wanted to play Pizza Box.” He repeated, his hand still lingering on your skin.
“Yeah, I love Pizza Box.” You nodded, looking down at his hand. You couldn’t help but think of how good it looked, decorating your leg and holding you as if you were his.
“What’s Pizza Box?” The girl sitting next to Daniel spoke, laughing nervously as Josh began to break down the cardboard box on the table.
“You see, my dear friend, it’s a game of great strategy.” Josh began, shaking off the crumbs onto the concrete.
“It’s a drinking game.” Jake corrected, rolling his eyes at his brother.
“Yes, a drinking game of great strategy!” Josh continued, finding a quarter at the bottom of his bag.
“It’s not, Sierra.” You cut in, reassuring her of the fact. “It’s super random and it’s really fun.”
“Okay,” she breathed a sigh of relief, looking at Danny and giving him a smile. He reached out and placed a hand on her knee, giving it a small squeeze.
“There is a science and I will not take any further arguments on the matter.” Josh snipped, fishing around in his bag for a sharpie. You played the game so often that he never left home without one.
“I learned about it at a frat party in my first year at college.” You shut him down once more, enjoying the frustration on his face. “We play it every time we drink. Basically, we’re going to write everyone’s name on the box and circle it. We take turns throwing the quarter, and if it lands on someone’s name, they have to take a drink.” She nodded along, following your instruction carefully. “If it lands in an empty space on the box, the person who threw the quarter gets to write a rule, as big or as small as they’d like, and if the quarter lands on that, we have to do whatever it says.”
“Oh, that’s not too hard, then.”
“No, it’s not, and it’s really fun, I promise.” You smiled. “Be prepared to get drunk, though. There’s a lot of drinking in this one.” You warned. Your eyes turned back to Josh, watching him as he wrote everyone’s name down and tried to keep them the same size. He circled his own name last, then pushed the table to the center of the circle.
“Alright, Lena. You want to start?” Josh asked, looking at Sam’s girlfriend. She gave a nod, holding out her hand. Josh tossed the quarter in her direction. She caught it, focusing for a moment before tossing it down on the table. The coin landed on Sam’s name, almost perfectly in the middle, and she let out a laugh at the sight.
“Hey!” Sam complained, furrowing his eyebrows. “You’re supposed to be on my team!”
“Not a team game, Sammy. Drink up.” You smirked. With a huff and an eye roll, he did as he was told. Lena leaned forward and grabbed the quarter, handing it to the boy sitting on the chair underneath her. He gave it a lazy toss, landing on a blank spot next to Roman’s name. Josh’s boyfriend let out a sigh of relief, knowing he narrowly avoided the sentence to drink.
“Uhm,” Sam hummed aloud, trying his best to think of a rule. “Players who land on the spot can’t swear for the rest of the game. Every time they do, they have to drink. You can write it for me.” Josh nodded, leaning forward and circling the words ‘swearing = drink’. Sierra grabbed the coin, sitting back in her chair as she looked around the board. With a targeted throw, she landed on Danny’s name. Without complaint, he sipped at his beer, then took his own turn.
By the time the circle was complete and Lena was ready to take her turn again, mostly everyone had been sentenced to drink with the exception of you. Now, the group had a pact to shoot for your name. Lena tried, but missed entirely, which came a new rule of ‘boys drink’. Sam missed and hit Jake’s name, and Sierra landed on Josh’s name. Danny made the new rule of ‘girls drink’ to counter Lena, and Roman landed on it when he took his turn. The board filled quickly, now including rules pertaining to shenanigans rather than drinking. Jake added one, stating that if the player landed on it, they had to swim a lap of the pool. Sienna added one in which the player had to attempt at a cartwheel.
The board was filled enough that the rules began to slow, and the fun began. With a reluctant round of clinking beer bottle necks, the boys took a drink. Josh tried (and failed) to do a cartwheel on the grass, and Jake had to swim a lap in the pool, grumbling about his own rules being used against him. When he returned to the chair to sit, you refused to let him back on it, giggling as you reasoned with him.
“I just dried off! It’ll be cold and wet and gross, and it’s starting to get dark out!” You complained, anchoring your hands on the arm of the chair.
“We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, trouble.” He bargained, sopping wet as he stood before you with his arms crossed over his chest.
“My chair, my rules!” You cried, hooking your legs around the legs of the chair. He chuckled to himself, leaning down and snaking his arms around your midsection.
With ease, he lifted you from your spot, the chair lifting with you. You held on for as long as you could, but eventually had to loosen your grip. It clattered back against the concrete and Jake let out a sigh of relief. He hooked an arm below your knees to hold you bridal-style as he sat back down, placing you on top of him. You tried to scramble away, but he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you back on him as you shrieked with laughter. Now just as damp as he was, you knew the fight was a fruitless endeavor. You relaxed against him, your skin littered with goosebumps from the chill of the night.
“What was that about your chair?” Jake asked, the vibration of his chest ringing against your back as you leaned against him. His chin was resting on your shoulder, and you could hear the smile in his voice.
“Shut up, Kiszka.” You muttered, mumbling a thanks to Josh as he handed you the coin. The alcohol and laughter did wonders at easing the tension between you and Jake, and you were barely thinking about the pool incident any more. Even as you sat atop of him, closer than usual, things felt normal, and it felt good to know that the situation did not change anything between you.
You tossed the quarter, and it landed on the corner of the box, right atop a little blank space in the corner. You leaned back, turning your head towards Jake so you could whisper something in his ear. He leaned forward, catching on to your intent as he waited to hear what you have to offer.
“I’m thinking skinny dipping?” You whispered, your nose brushing against his cheek as he turned to look at you. At first, he was surprised at your words, his eyes wide and his mind running at a mile a minute, but he looked to the box and quickly realized what you meant. Before he made his misinterpretation too obvious, he gave a nod.
“Good one.” He hummed. You leaned toward, grabbing the marker and writing the words down before encasing it in a circle.
“Ah, so that’s how we’re playing this tonight.” Josh announced, an evil grin taking over his face. At the sound of his words, your stomach plummeted, realizing what you had opened the door to in your moment of mindlessness. “Sounds good to me!”
“What does that mean?!” You whispered to Jake, nervous about what the future held.
“I wouldn’t worry, trouble. It’s just Josh.” He assured you. He had his hand on your hip, holding you close as he reassured you, and it felt good. Almost too good as you tried to bargain with yourself not to cross any boundaries.
The circle went around a few more times, and the night began to take over. The stars glimmered in the black sky and the moonlight casted a white light over the group. You were all long last tipsy, and growing more intense as the game progressed. Roman and Josh had been whispering amongst themselves for the past few turns, clearly planning something grand. Roman carefully aimed when his turn came around, making sure he landed on one of the few empty spaces left.
“Couples kiss.” He said, smiling as Josh reached for the coin. He took his time, and landed on another empty space.
“Singles kiss.” He announced, writing the words much larger than necessary. Your stomach twisted with unease as Josh sat back in his original position, turning his head towards you as he slid the quarter across the table. You gave him a scowl as you reached for it, knowing exactly what he was playing at. Carefully, in hopes of avoiding the biggest circle on the board, you threw the coin. It slid as it landed, making your heart speed, but stopped on Jake’s name.
“Hey,” he complained, a frown on his lips.
“Drink up, buttercup.” You smiled, still too on edge to be relieved. You knew that nobody else would take that much caution in avoiding the space, which made it all the more frustrating for you. Josh had you in stalemate, and he wasn’t backing down until he finished the whole thing.
The circle went around, and with every coin toss, you felt yourself relax into Jake a little bit more. So far, you were in the clear, and you worries began to ease. Perhaps you were a little too comfortable in your assumptions, because when Roman took his turn, his quarter landed suspiciously close to the new rule Josh had added moments before. When Josh took his turn, he was carefully positioned and calculated. As his quarter landed on the board, he tried to keep the frown from forming.
“Couples kiss!” He announced, forcing a fake smile. With that, Josh and Sam both turned to their partners, keeping it sweet and simple. Your turn gave the girls a round of drinks, and as you handed the quarter to Jake, you prayed he would have the same caution as you did. Of course, you couldn’t expect anything from Jake when he was drunk, and as soon as the coin was in his hand, he tossed it without a second thought.
You watched in horror as the coin landed on its side and began an agonizing roll towards the exact spot you wanted to avoid. As if the world was in slow motion, you felt like you could feel every second pass as the coin hit a divot in the box, halting its rapid roll and wobbling in its path. Eventually, it pathetically dropped to its side, and your blood went cold. Below it, the word kiss was covered by the shiny silver, and the only word visible in the circle that surrounded it was the word ‘singles’.
Through his own carelessness, Jake had sealed his own fate, and you knew Josh would never let it go, at least not without a good fight.
what do you guys think will happen in part two ☺️ I can’t wait to hear your thoughts 🤍
298 notes · View notes
yourbloodysunrise · 3 months
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Hi!! I see you do requests, Can you do Ninjago, All the main ninjas [Like Lloyd, kai, nya, Cole, jay,zane] with a reader who's definitely, taller than them? I think it'll be a cute dynamic ^^ Romantic headcanons please and thank u!
🌤 — thanks for request, anon!that sounds cute and that was fun to writing :3
🌤 — I write from shortest to longest in my opinion, enjoy!
❝ How you can be so tall? ❞
— FANDOM: NINJAGO
— PAIRING: MAIN NINJAS X TALL!READER
— ROMANTIC
— HEADCANONS
— READER IS GENDER NEUTRAL
— TW: BAD ENGLISH, BAD GRAMMAR, OOC, IDK WHY SOME HCS SHORTER THAN OTHERS☠
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LLOYD:
☆ ┈ The picture is definetly describes his reaction.
☆ ┈ He is unlikely to be surprised, considering that he is the shortest in the ninja group.
☆ ┈ Kai is constantly teasing him about this, and if you join him, he will feel betrayed.
☆ ┈ Lloyd will often use his abilities hoping to impress you.Look, he cool, he deserves you, right?
☆ ┈ He may behave a little childish with you, especially if you try to pick him up.
☆ ┈ No, seriously, he'll start twitching like a cat if you pick him up trying to get out.
☆ ┈ In the first episode of season 12, Lloyd was scared when an ordinary iron hand fell on his shoulder, just imagine that he jumps into your arms every time he gets scared, and this one too..
— "..."
— "...?"
— "Don't ask about it, okay?"
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NYA:
☆ ┈ One of the two ninjas who really don't care about the reader's growth.
☆ ┈ Although, if you tease or make fun of her about this, she will start to get annoyed by your height difference.
☆ ┈ Nya usually the one who takes the initiative in your relationship more, like inviting you out, trying to pay for you and all that, and that looking a little fun from outside.
☆ ┈ If someone thinks that you are the head of a relationship, you will have to hold her to prevent her from breaking up the one who said it.
☆ ┈ Nya sincerely wants to be the one you rely on, not the other way around.
☆ ┈ I think in the early seasons it could have worked on her to create Samurai X.She could help you in battle if you can't handle it!
☆ ┈ You two have a energy like:
— "Excuse me, they asked for no pickles!"
— "👉👈"
☆ ┈ Change my mind.
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JAY:
☆ ┈ When you first meet, his honest reaction will be: 😳
☆ ┈ Like..Dude, why are you so tall???Do you walk on stilts?Yes, definitely you are.Don't try to talk him out of it, he won't believe you.
☆ ┈ Only during your friendship he would stop paying attention to it, but when you start dating, he will start to fixate on it.
☆ ┈ Jay is, in fact, a tame lover. If you ask him to jump off the roof with you, he will do it without hesitation.
☆ ┈ However, he feel insecure about the fact that you are above him.In his fantasies, he's always supposed to protect, but it seems you're doing just fine without him..
☆ ┈ Sometimes he reminds himself the same way when Nya rejected him in the original series. He is constantly around you, trying to take care of you and makes incomprehensible clumsy hints that he hides as a joke.
☆ ┈ Please kiss the guy and tell him that you love him.He will instantly melt and forget about all his worries.
☆ ┈ His parents adore you!They always invite you to visit them and tell you about Jay as a child.Poor guy is dying of shame somewhere off-screen.
☆ ┈ He will start helping you more often during the fight. No matter how much he appreciates his friendship with the ninja, he cannot afford to leave you for even a second!No no, no way.
☆ ┈ Sometimes it can be dangerous for other ninjas because Jay is overprotective of you.
☆ ┈ Remind him that he has to stop praising you in front of other ninjas, otherwise he won't stop. It can get to the point where he starts talking to inanimate objects about how wonderful and cool you are!
— "Oh, look at how gracefully they fight!I'm so lucky.."
— "Jay, I literally got arrow in my leg."
— "We're not talking about you, Kai."
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KAI:
☆ ┈ He's freaking out because his partner is taller than him, considering that he's tall enough himself.
☆ ┈ No, no, wait, HE should be the one above!Then why are you taller than him?!
☆ ┈ Kai thinks that it's not fair, because of this, he looks like a psychotic child whose mother refused to buy a chocolate bar.
☆ ┈ He will complain to Nya that he wants to be taller than you so that you admire him, but all the methods on how to grow up from Internet just don't work!
☆ ┈ Nya secretly tells you this, at first you don't pay attention to it, but then you notice that Kai is trying more and more to make you pay attention to him.
☆ ┈ Push away other ninjas to defeat the enemy himself, clear the way for you if there is a person on the way who could just be bypassed, or even do something dangerous to health to "impress" you..
☆ ┈ You start playing along with him, asking him to do something easy and then thank him as if he saved your life, or ask for help in a fight even with a weak opponent.This will give him confidence and he will be happy to do something for you and not even doubt that you need him.
☆ ┈ After that, he sees your height as a plus.He flaunts you in front of his fans, praising you and saying that you are the coolest in your team. Let his ego want him to be considered the best, we all know you will always be first in his priorities.
☆ ┈ Reminds Jay in way that he is always by your side in battle, however, if Jay is worried that you might get hurt, then Kai sees this as an opportunity to show you that he will protect you!
☆ ┈ Are annoying fans bothering you?Did some villain hold a personal grudge against you?Are you not as successful in training as other ninjas?Don't worry, Kai is always here for you!
— "Kai, I'm glad that you care about me so much, but sometimes you overdo it-"
— "Me?Overdo it?Don't be silly, babe, I'm just helping you at the right moment!"
— "But I could have opened that cookie jar myself!.."
— "Shh..No thanks needed, honey."
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ZANE:
☆ ┈ Considering that he is slightly shorter than Cole (in my opinion), then you are the second tallest in the ninja team.
☆ ┈ In fact, Zane and Nya hardly worry about your height, except for a few details.
☆ ┈ He wants to make sure that your height doesn't upset you or cause you problems.For example, he always stops you before you bump your head against a low doorway.
☆ ┈ Only once he could ask you about your height, and only out of pure curiosity.Consider Zane the one who pays the least attention to your height out of the entire ninja group.
☆ ┈ Despite the fact that you are taller than him, he usually forgets about it.He is ready to carry you in his arms like a royal person just because in his opinion you deserve it.
☆ ┈ If someone makes fun of your height, Zane will just freeze them 😼
☆ ┈ Zane is definitely one of the best ninjas who behave with a tall reader.As I think he is generally very good in relationships, always caring and attentive to you, will help if you ask or notice that you cannot cope with the task.
☆ ┈ Often takes it upon himself to pamper you, because the ninjas does not have much time for do that myself.Expect that you will rest after training, and he is already standing next to you with his usual smile and outstretched gift.Don't even try to reject, he will stand his ground.
☆ ┈ Since his attitude will not differ from the reader who is shorter than him, consider that you just have a funny robot boyfriend who adores you.
☆ ┈ I'm sure that in the series you would be a favorite pair of ninja fans.
— "Could you bring me the salt from the top shelf?"
— "Sure thing, Zane."
— "Thank you."
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COLE:
☆ ┈ Bro is confused...
☆ ┈ In my headcannons, he is the tallest ninja, so how did you manage to be taller than him?
☆ ┈ At first he is broken, but then he quickly remembers that he has a trump card up his sleeves: his strength.
☆ ┈ No matter how tall you are, Cole will be the strongest in the team anyway, so why did he worry about it?With that mind he calm up.
☆ ┈ In a few quarrels, he will always use it against you, especially if you touch on the topic of growth.Just tell him something and he will suddenly throw you up and grab you in his arms, grinning maliciously.
☆ ┈ You two look like the perfect dynamic: a tall dude and a strong dude.
☆ ┈ Like Kai, he often helps you with things that you could handle on your own.He usually doesn't need a reason for this, he just wants to help you and does it.
☆ ┈ He is your guard dog, manages to help you in battle and at the same time help other ninjas.
☆ ┈ I think he's the kind of guy who can fall in love at first sight, so he could be trying to impress you from the moment you met.
☆ ┈ Don't be offended by this guy when he teases you, he's just playing with you.Tell him to stop and he will stop.
☆ ┈ Cole sure that you are his destiny.He can't explain it, he just feels attracted to you.
☆ ┈ His father often write letters to you to find out how you and Cole are doing.No, not to Cole, to you.Although Lou is proud of his son, he considers you more responsible.
☆ ┈ Make a cake for guy and he will praise you as a deity.
— "How's the weather up there, sweetheart?"
— "Cole, I'm trying to train, can you be quiet for at least 5 minutes?"
..:*・゚☆.。.:*・゚゙。.:*・゚☆.。.:*・゚🌤
🌤 — funny that I started it a long time ago, but I finished it in one day lol
🌤 — sorry for waiting anon, hope you like it☆
209 notes · View notes
dumbseee · 6 months
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watching.
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dabi had one weakness, and it was you.
dabi x fem!reader.
warnings: bad english/grammar :p, mention of murder, violence.
genre: angst.
note: i want touya to have a happy ending :( / maybe i’ll do a part two.
_
you met touya in kindergarten, his mother was close to yours and introduced you to him because he was too shy to make friends by himself. you immediately handed out your tiny hand towards him with your biggest smile, while he looked at it with wary eyes. he looked up at his mother who nodded towards you and he grabbed your hand. that sealed your friendship with touya todoroki. ever since, you two were inseparable, always with one another and you still remember his gorgeous smile.
your mother was the one to break the news to you, she sat you down on the couch and muted the tv. you could feel that something was wrong, you saw how red and swollen her eyes were and when she took your hands, you felt her hands tremble slightly. when she told you that touya had passed away in a fire accident, you cried for weeks. you couldn’t sleep at all, your sleep was ruined by nightmares, you could hear touya’s screams, his cries for help. you wished you could’ve helped him, your quirk could’ve been useful since you could control water. but you were just a kid, how were you supposed to help?
years had passed and you still thought about touya, you stil kept the teddy bear he gifted you for your sixth’s birthday and you still hugged it tightly at night. sometimes you’d even talk to the sky, asking him if he had a good day up there or if he was watching over you from heaven. well, little did you know that touya was actually looking after you, but he was way closer to you than you thought.
when touya became dabi, he wanted to forget about his past, his only focus being taking his revenge on his father and destroying the hero society. but you kept popping up in his mind, he couldn’t forget you nor could he ignore the little voice whispering your name in his head. it wasn’t hard for him to find you, even years later, he quickly learned that you graduated on top of your classes, and became the number two’s hero, hawks’s personal assistant. when touya saw that, he laughed, apparently fate wanted these two to meet again. of course, touya needed hawks anyway for his plan, but you being his assistant was a major plus.
when he saw you for the first time in years, his breath got caught up in his throat as he witnessed how you blossomed into a gorgeous and confident woman. touya fell in love with you the minute he first saw you, back in kindergarten, but when he saw you again after so many years of being apart, he fell ten times harder. your hair had grown a little longer, now falling down your waist, your smile was still the prettiest sight he’d ever seen, your eyes still had that light in them, the light he’d been longing for since he left, and your laugh was still his favourite melody. he was completely down for you, he couldn’t stay away from you for too long, he needed to hold you, talk to you, take you. you belonged to him, and he couldn’t stand the fact that anyone could look at you, be close to you, meanwhile he had to hide in the shadows of the night, away from you.
touya followed you back home almost every night, he needed to make sure you made it safely inside your apartment he already broken into, when you were at work. he grinned when he walked into your room, it was so you, pictures of friends or family decorating your walls, painted a light pink while your bed was perfectly made. touya let himself fall on your bed, crossing his arms behind his head while he looked at the ceiling. if he closed his eyes he could hear your laugh, he could imagine a world where you two got to be together and live happily ever after, move in together, get married and have a ton of annoying gremlins running around and calling him dad. touya didn’t even feel the bloody tear that rolled down his scarred cheek. he let a dry laugh leave his lips. he could never have that life and be knew it.
as touya stood up and was ready to leave before you could comeback, he noticed the old teddy bear he gave you when you two were still innocent little kids. his eyes widened at the thought of you still thinking about him, after all these years. maybe you loved him too? maybe you were still looking for him? touya knew his family told the world that their eldest son tragically passed away in a fire, but he knew you couldn’t have fall for this stupid story. you were clever enough to know that he couldn’t have died like that. he couldn’t have left you behind, how could he? lost in his thoughts, touya didn’t even hear the sound of keys and the door opening before closing in a rather loud "thud". that sound made him regain his senses, for a second he considered staying there, in your room, waiting for you to come in and see him. but it wasn’t the right time, he’d comeback, and he’d comeback for you.
when you walked into your room, you frowned when you saw your bed all wrinkled up and your teddy bear on the floor. the faint smell of cigarette, wood and whiskey laying in the air as well. you opened the window but was surprised to see it slightly opened already. have you left it open this morning? you shrugged it off, you left in a hurry so it could’ve been the case. you started to strip away from your clothes, to take a quick shower, while touya landed on his two feet, he looked up at your window and grinned to himself. you never forgot him.
you noticed some strange changes in your life lately, the weird smell you smelt in your room a few weeks ago, kept coming back and you wondered where it could come from. you didn’t smoke so why would your room smell like cigarettes? same goes for alcohol, you never drank even a drop of whiskey, so why would it smell like it? your teddy bear kept moving places, you even considered your apartment being haunted, the idea kinda creeped you out, you hated ghosts. but it couldn’t be that, ghosts didn’t exist and even if they did, dead being couldn’t have a smell. you also had this weird feeling of being watched, no matter where you were, in a crowded room at work, in the subway, even in your room, you felt eyes on you and it scared you shitless. what if you had a stalker? what if a crazy serial killer was after you and you’d end up on those true crime documentaries? you shook your head and laughed at your own paranoia.
you turned around in your bed and smiled softly at your teddy bear, you grabbed it in your hands and lift it in the air. "you must think, i’m going insane hm?" you mumbled, a vague image of touya appeared in your mind, it was an old memory of him when you had scraped your knee pretty badly and touya carried you on his back till you arrived at your house. nobody was there so he went to look for a bandaid and helped you. he stayed with you till your mother came back from grocery shopping, even though it would make his father upset. without noticing it, a single tear rolled down your cheek. you cleared your throat and hugged the teddy bear, tightly against your chest. "i miss you so much, touya." you were curled up on your bed, hugging your last souvenir of touya and cried yourself to sleep. meanwhile, in the league’s hideout, touya is lying down on his bed, a hand behind his head and the other holding his phone. he had hidden a small camera inside the teddy bear when he sneaked into your apartment once. as weird as it sounds, touya only wanted to feel closer to you, hear your voice, you always slept with the teddy bear in your arms, which made him feel like he was actually laying next to you. "i miss you too, doll."
the next day, you came back from work, exhausted and frustrated from the bad day you had thanks to one of your coworkers. you were on the phone with your friend, letting out all your frustration. "seriously what is wrong with him? he always single me out during meetings, talking about how my ideas aren’t that good, how dare he? i’m way above him on the food chain, he tends to forget that a lot." you got into your room, smiled at your teddy bear, an habit you picked up a while ago, you removed your jacket and immediately put it back into your dresser. you put your hair up with a claw clip and sat in front of your vanity, removing your earrings while your friend was agreeing with you. "right? he’s so full of himself and does he think i don’t hear all the disgusting things he says about me to tanaka? this motherfucker really thinks i don’t see him looking under my skirt? ugh! i hate him so much, yuri!" you hummed in response to your friend’s answer, "you’re right, maybe i should tell hawks? he’s so sweet, i’m sure he’d help me out." you quickly ended the call after that, eager to wash yourself and eat before jumping on your sofa to watch your favourite comfort show. what you didn’t know is that a certain unstable fire villain heard everything and would take matters into his own hands before fuckass hawks could do anything.
when you went back to work the next day, something was going on and you felt it the second you walked into the building. one of your coworker quickly grabbed your arm to tell you the news. "terushima is dead!" he went straight to the point and your eyes almost came out your sockets. "he got killed by the villain dabi, you know him right? apparently he recorded the whole thing and poor terushima suffered so much, it was a terrible sight." you couldn’t speak, truly stunned by the news, what were the odds? you basically cursed him out a few hours ago and now he was dead? killed by no one but the infamous dabi? thinking about the villain made you shiver. "and that’s not it! dabi also tortured tanaka to have informations on terushima! he went to him first then went to terushima. tanaka is still at the hospital but apparently he’s alive." you felt nauseous all of a sudden, you took a step back and immediately ran away from your poor coworker, even as he called your name, you ran outside, inhaling fresh air as you felt sweat cover your forehead, your whole body was shaking from shock. you wouldn’t mourn terushima, he was a pain in your ass, and tanaka was nothing but a dirty pig as well. but the fact that you talked about these two men just yesterday and now one was dead and the other was at the hospital. the coincidence was too much for you, you called in sick and went back to your apartment.
you kicked your shoes and immediately went to the fridge to take out a fresh bottle of water, downing it almost entirely. you frowned when you saw a piece of paper sitting on your table. it was a handwritten note, you felt shiver down your spine as you read it.
"they won’t bother you anymore."
you let the note fall on the ground, your legs felt like jello now and you had to grab the counter to steady yourself before you could join the note on the floor. you struggled to breath as you now understood that the call you made yesterday and what happened to terushima and tanaka wasn’t a scary coincidence. the note wasn’t signed but you knew who left it here, dabi. dabi came here, dabi heard you, dabi took revenge for you, dabi knew you. but why would he do that? why would he take a liking to you? how could he even notice you? you were scared now, a villain was after you and you could be his next victim soon. you quickly grabbed your phone and started to dial hawks’s number. he was your boss but also your friend, he’d help you. but as you were about to dial the last digit, you felt a presence behind you. and you remember not closing the door. you swallowed the lump in your throat and slowly turned around, your eyes widened and you let out a small cry as you recognised dabi, in all his glory, hands in his pockets, his expression unreadable as he stood tall in your living room. he closed the door with his feet and looked at you.
"w-what are y-you doing here?" he came for you, he was going to murder you in your own home. you saw dabi chuckle and you almost fainted when you saw him take a step closer to you. he didn’t answer you, his eyes were weirdly familiar to you, a turquoise blue, same as touya’s. the thought of your old friend made you realise that you’d soon join him in the afterlife and somehow, the thought comforted you. dabi was now in front of you, a few inches separating you two as he looked down at you. "it’s been a while, y/n." his voice was deep, a little hoarse and you saw him smile softly at you. what the? thee dabi smiling? you were dreaming, it had to be a dream! or a nightmare. "i didn’t think you’d keep that old teddy bear for so long, but i’m glad that you did." and it hit you, almost instantly as the words left his mouth, you realised.
touya todoroki was in front of you. your touya.
silent tears immediately started to roll down your cheeks as you looked at his pretty eyes, his gorgeous turquoise orbs you so often thought about how nice it would feel to drown in them. silence fell upon you as your mind was spinning, you felt your legs give up on you and dabi was quick to grab you, both of his hands on your waist, yours pressed on his chest as you were still lost in your thoughts. you let a hand slowly stroke his cheek and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh of relief. you quickly removed your hand, which made him frown. "t-touya?" your voice broke at the end of his name. "it’s me, y/n. i never left." now you were nothing but a sobbing mess, you didn’t know how to handle this. your touya was standing in front of you and you didn’t know how to take it. touya didn’t come back as the joyful and cheeky kid, he came back as a demon called dabi.
"you’re not my touya." you mumbled, pushing him away from you, you moved away so you were now giving your back to the door, just in case you had to run. touya felt his heart explode at your words. "how- how could you do this? what happened to you? what happened to the kid i used to know? this isn’t you. it can’t be!" you yelled, years blurring your vision, but you angrily wiped them away. of course, you weren’t aware of the trauma touya had to go through. "i can explain everything." he simply said, taking a step closer to you, this time you didn’t move away. "you can explain what? killing dozens of innocents? joining the league of villains? you’re literally one of the main instigator of this fucking league!" you pushed his chest, clearly still angry and touya couldn’t hold that against you. he just wanted to hold you, soothe you, tell you that everything would be fine. but touya couldn’t do that, because he didn’t know how to do that, he didn’t know how to react in these type of situations, no one ever comforted him, beside you. which explain the insane amount of patience he had right now, he knew he wouldn’t hurt you, he would never forgive himself if he did.
"i want you to leave." you said, looking up at him, eyes full of rage but also sadness. you were devastated, you dreamed of this moment, you never really believed that touya died in that fire. you always felt like he was still out there, doing god knows what, well you were right, but at what cost? touya felt anger and frustration build up inside of him, he wanted to yell at you, tell you that he had no choice, he had to continue with his plan, he had to take revenge, he had to. "not before you listen to me, then i’ll leave." you crossed your arms against your chest and gave hime the sign to continue. "the number one hero, endeavor." just saying his name made him want to burn this whole place, but you were here. touya took a deep breath and all of a sudden, he was back in kindergarten, in front of a pouty y/n who was waiting for an explanation as to why touya had broken your favourite doll. the memory almost made him smile, but now he was in front of a y/n that despised him and his actions, your beautiful eyes lacked their usual light, you threw daggers at him and he felt them stab his already broken heart. "you know what," he lift his hands up as surrender and headed towards the door. "you should take a day off tomorrow and watch the news." he smiled at you before leaving your apartment.
you couldn’t believe it, the moment he closed the door, you fell on the ground. bawling your eyes out, your heart yelled at you for not hugging him, not telling him how much you missed him, how hard you prayed for this day to happen. but your brain praised you for doing the right thing. touya did died in that fire, dabi was what remains. and dabi wasn’t your friend.
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aagneauu · 10 months
Text
High value habits to elevate yourself 🥂✨
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When the term "high value" is mentioned, we often think of things related exclusively to economic wealth, but being a high-value person is an attitude, an attribute founded on habits and a wealthy mentality. So today I wanted to mention a few habits that I personally perceive as something a person with strong standards apply on their lives. ✨
Sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language :b
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1. Long-term mentality ✦
Enjoying yourself is very important, but when we only think about the things that give us temporary pleasure, is often very likely that we forget to take care about our future stability. For example, if you want to travel, the smart thing to do would be to save the money in order to be able to afford it, but how many times we just feel the urge to waste money on unnecessary stuff just to get that brief satisfaction, that bad habit will take us far from our goals. This rule can be applied on almost every aspect, and if you're able to stick to your goals and take decisions according to them, trust me, you'll get very far.
2. Invest ✦
Stop wasting and start investing; your money, your time and your energy. In terms of money, you obviously can spend some of it on pretty stuff, but instead of wasting your whole salary on things you want, a smarter move would be to use part of that money to invest it on something that potentially can give us another income, maybe there's a valuable peace of jewelry or clothing that not only we could use, but to sell and trade in the future, or even if you have enough money saved, you can invest in a property, to not only live in it, but to rent it. Our time and energy works in the same way, we could be wasting our time and energy with people that don't give us nothing we can learn from, and you're worth way more than that. Find people and habits that not only make you feel good and appreciated, but that will leave you something interesting for your personal growth, and remember, better alone than in a bad company.
3. Details matter ✦
How we talk, how we decide to present ourselves to the world, our values, the effort we put on what we make. Every little detail says something about us. For example, something as simple as spraying perfume before we go out makes a difference, or if you study, the amount of time and effort you decide to put on certain classes. Socially, what you decide to say, and to develop the hability to stay quiet when necessary. Maybe you think that those little things don't make a huge difference at the long-term, but when you see how your life can change drastically with every little step you take, you learn to pay attention to it.
4. Patience ✦
It is a strong word, it is even harder to apply to our lives sometimes. Being patient not only with people, but with our circumstances. Sometimes things that we don't like happens, and we don't even understand why because we thought that we did everything right, but everything happens for a reason, it's like a fruit, you could take it out of the tree earlier because you're hungry, but it isn't that mature and tasty, but if you just wait, resist the hunger, the fruit will be way better. That applies to money, emotional growth and life changes. Learn to understand that sometimes, pain will be the sign to something better than your current situation.
5. Stop following the crowd ✦
Set standards and learn what is good for you, if you just rely on others to decide what is best for you, or even worse; you know something is bad for you and still do it for others, then expect low quality experiences. People time to time will call you boring or even extreme just because you decide to be loyal to your values. If something that everyone is doing seems beneficial, do it, but because it gives you something valuable, not because of the crowd. You can apply this rule to everything; friends, money, and other experiences. The amount ot peace and comfort that you can get with this transformation is a huge life upgrade.
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This were some topics that come to mind when the "high value" term is mentioned. And remember, no one is perfect and every little thing makes us unique. Life is a long journey that you can decide to upgrade with every little move.
Hope u enjoyed! ♡
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sophsicle · 9 months
Text
not to be obnoxious. but i really like the jily in choices. and now you're thinking, bitch i should hope so, you wrote it. WHICH, yeah, fair point. but, it's super overwhelming to receive a lot of negative feedback on something, especially when that negative feedback is like "you're a morally corrupt person writing horribly morally corrupt characters blah blah blah die" y'know? so like, there are a lot of parts of that story that, in my head, have been a bit warped, by having people repeatedly tell me how awful they are. but sometimes i'll read bits of it and im like "wait. no. this is actually good (grammar mistakes aside - im sorry, i know it's bad, i had school and work and my brain was clearly mush or something idk)." like. chapter 55 jily. i just love it. i love when lily tells james he's putting on an act in therapy. i love when she tells him that now, when she looks back, all these memories she thought were about them, have regulus's fingerprints all over them. and he tells her he thinks regulus felt the same way and that he's sorry. because he never wanted either of them to feel like they meant less than everything to him. because they never meant less than everything. i like when she tells james that regulus wasn't a good person. and when james says "i know. but he wanted to be, and doesn't that matter?" and lily thinks it probably doesn't but regulus is dead and so she lets him have that. LIKE i just. yeah it's fucking messy. and it will never not be messy. nothing about their relationship will ever be simple. but i love that. like i love that so much. and i've had people tell me they think it was a copout, having james love them both. but i just, i disagree. james being torn apart by how much he loves people. like that's it. that's the story i want to tell. that's the character i want to write. ANYWAY. there's not really a point to this other than like, sometimes i forget that i really like choices a lot. that i wrote it for myself and i wrote the characters and the relationships that i wanted. and that it isn't some horrible ugly terrible thing that should be hidden from innocent eyes and like, stuffed in a cannon and fired into the sun, y'knowwwww?????
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binniesbooks · 2 months
Note
okay so here’s my request hehe.. i thought long and hard about this :>
alright so what about beomgyu (shocker) but he’s like your super rich (slightly older heh) boyfriend who loves loves loves to spoil you. so he buys the reader the most expensive and cutest piece of lingerie and has her try it on for him, ultimately leading to them fucking heh :>
soft dom beomgyu soft dom beomgyu soft dom beomgyu I BEG OF YOU 🙏
• LUXURY GIFTS
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BG 001 .F23 2024
wc 3.6k
pairings richbf!beomgyu x spoiledgf!reader
warnings a lot of cursing, marking, unprotected sex, creampie. softdom!beomgyu
faye's note this is my first ever fic in Tumblr and here's my 'lil reign with my first ever ask. Won't stop yapping abt her being my inspiration. I gave her the honor and I'm gladly dedicating this one to her with all my heart. I poured out my blood sweat and tears here. I even remember your tip that I must start light, AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE, THIS, IN WHATEVER SENSE, IS NO LIGHT AT ALL. FUCK. Enjoy I guess! ㅇㅅㅇ For so many times, I kept on rereading this, not wanting to disappoint anyone of my grammar. I think I still need to work on my writing style, my grammar and my mind itself. Goodness. I-i'm just gonna give it a shot, hehe-
Totally dedicated to the one and only, @beomiracles *bows down*
Beomgyu was a hard-working boyfriend. He had always been the most hard-working person you know. He was always busy working on something even at the premise of his very own house. You often teased him as a slave at work even though, he, basically owned the company where he was working at. He may be always busy but he always makes time when it comes to you. He never forgets every detail about you, your likes and dislikes, and does not even need to mark his calendar to remind himself about dates because he knows when. Beomgyu is not your average type of boyfriend. However, people mistook him as just a worker and not the owner. The humble aura he carried is what made people mistake him for one.
Being with him wasn’t easy. Because of his friendly and approachable attitude, girls tend to hit on him, and sometimes it gets on your nerves causing an argument between the two of you.
"What the hell was that?" You raise your voice as you harshly step down the stairs to the parking lot from the party you two are at.
"Baby, please, at least stop walking and listen to me, you might trip and hurt yourself". He tries to catch your hand as you swing it away from him.
"There were so many times, I've warned you not to get too close to people who are eye-fucking you", you faced him, brows meeting.
He sighed as he stepped closer and held your hand.
"Princess. I'm being extra careful, promise. I wasn't even expecting that she would do that, but I pushed her hands away, I swear" he genuinely apologized as he caressed your hand.
You close your eyes, about to speak again when he interrupts you. "I promise, that will never gonna happen again". He cupped your face as he looked at your eyes.
"One more time a girl tries to place their hand on whichever part of your body, I'm gonna cut their hands" you fumed as you tried to erase the memory of that girl trying to fix Beomgyu's necktie.
"Her actions were too unnecessary given the fact that you have a girlfriend" you muttered under your breath as he gave you a tight hug and kept on apologizing.
"Not my fault you're younger than me and they mistake you as my sibling instead" he teased.
You shove him as you glare at him saying, "Excuse me, a two-year difference is not that big?! Plus are you enjoying the fact that you are being touched by other girls?"
"Words, miss. We don't want you getting in trouble with you accusing me, yeah?" He holds your face closer to his with a smirk plastered on his face. "I'm not enjoying it. I just wanna tease you, pretty. You don't have a clue how many million times I explained to those people who are around us that we are a thing, not siblings." He sighed and kissed your forehead.
"Why don't we go do some shopping instead? What do you say? It's still early. We can buy everything you want." He smiled as he cupped your face once again coaxing you.
"Just because I am agreeing to this doesn't mean we are all good now", you glared at him. He chuckles at your actions as he opens the door of his car.
"Get in princess, I'm going to buy you lots of gifts," he gestured as you sat down in your seat. You watched him circle the car and enter the driver's seat. You sighed, it is never easy to have a good-looking, humble, and kind type of boyfriend.
He drove to the store where he always buys you gifts and luxuries. This was a normal occurrence between the two of you. Him being the target of every girl, you fuming, and Beomgyu spoiling you to make it up to you. It might sound like he is bribing you but he's not. He just really loves spoiling you. If possible, he won't allow you to spend a single cent. Claiming that he is the man and he must be responsible ever since the two of you started dating. But of course, you also sometimes stand your ground and 25% of the time, he accepts losing to you.
Another normal occurrence was that you would get a flower delivered to your place before you go to work, every single day. And of course, who did it come from other than your boyfriend who loves to spoil you? You even thought of planting a whole garden with how many flowers he kept sending you. If only you had cool hands that could keep the flowers alive after planting. From flowers to accessories, from dresses to footwear. Anything that your eyes laid upon, he buys it, with or without your permission.
One Saturday morning, you woke up with a ringing phone. You grabbed it and answered without checking the caller's ID.
"Hello? Who is this? The sun is barely up..." You talked with eyes still closed, voice becoming faint. You heard a chuckle on the other side of the line. The voice registered to your brain, it was Choi Beomgyu, your boyfriend.
"Good morning sleepy head, happy anniversary." He greeted with such joy in his voice. Your once sleepy mind and body were fully awake now as you scrambled to sit up face palming your face. Remember how you set your alarm the night before to wake up early and be the one to greet him first but you ended up switching your phone off every time the alarm rang.
"I'm sorry, love, I wanted to be the one who greeted you first-- my goodness." You exclaimed as you mentally punched your head.
He chuckles once again as he tried to cheer you up, "It's fine baby, I know you are tired from work, it's too early to be upset"
"Happy anniversary, Beomie, I love you." You smiled and tried to sound more positive.
"I love you, princess. Oh, by the way, can you come alone here later? I might not be able to pick you up, I still have a lot more to prepare. Plus I'm planning to cook."
"Mmm, will do, baby. Don't worry." You answered as you stood up from your bed and placed your phone between your shoulder and cheek to make your bed.
"Are you sure though? I can still pick you up, you know, plus it's still early. We're gonna meet at 6 in the evening. I can make time." He asked.
"Beomie, you don't have to worry, really. I'm gonna finish my chores first, might run to a store and buy something before going straight to your place". You assured back.
"Okay then. I'll see you this evening, love. I'll be at work. I love you, take care of yourself." You answered with a sweet hum and a smile as if he could see you before he dropped the call. Beomgyu has been calling you different pet names, which did not even bother you a single bit. His sweetness shows through the way he calls you. You were so used to it that whenever he did not call you any, you knew that he was angry.
After finishing all your tasks and chores, you had to clean yourself up. Standing in the middle of your dresser, deciding on what you will wear.
You've been pondering already for half an hour. Digging every corner of your cabinet to look for something special to wear. You can't disappoint Beomgyu, especially today. He loves to spoil you and you love to show it off especially when you are with him. Well, he tells you to dress pretty all the time. If you were his wife already, he would have considered you a trophy wife.
Within a few minutes, you decided to wear the silk red designer dress he had recently bought you. It hugged every corner of your curves the right way. Although he did spoil you with so many accessories and wardrobes, he was not a fan of heavy makeup. He likes it simple. After dabbing some face powder and a gloss on your lips, you were good to go.
You immediately get up, and grab your phone, the gift you ordered a few days ago, your purse, and your car key. You were still planning to drop by a store nearby to buy some wine for the special night.
It was 10 minutes before 6 when you arrived at his place. "Hi love, how are you?" You greeted him as you placed the wine on the table that you brought from the store before you rushed to his side.
"I'm good princess. Maybe a bit exhausted. I doubled my work for my pretty girl", he smiled as he removed the apron wrapped around his waist. Repositioning the folded sleeves of his dress shirt.
"I'm almost done here, why not take a seat?" He approached you and kissed you while giving you a tight hug. "You look pretty..." His fingers brushed along your cheeks when he pulled away to look at you. "Happy anniversary" he muttered once again. You smiled at him as you tiptoed and gave him a quick kiss. "Happy anniversary Beomie" you giggled.
He pulled the chair for you and made you sit down, "could you wait for a couple minutes more? I'm almost done. " You nod at him.
You shared the evening with sweet talks and love lingering between the two of you. Sharing the food he cooked and the wine you bought.
"I have a gift for you." You said joyfully as you placed the glass of wine carefully on the table. "It might not be much, since you have everything." You playfully roll your eyes as you push the small box in front of him.
"You can open it now." You said as you clasped your hands near your cheeks. Excitement can be easily heard from your voice.
He carefully unwrapped the gift as if almost scared to destroy it. His eyes widened at the gift you gave him.
"Love, you didn't have to." His eyes softened when he looked at you. It was a wristwatch. It was nothing compared to everything he bought you. But this particular one was hard to find. He couldn't find it in the stores you both often go to. He dislikes online shopping, saying it's too much of a hassle. So, you, as a loving girlfriend, patiently search every single online shop you know, just to find this watch.
"It's nothing compared to everything you have given me, Beom." You held his hand and looked at him lovingly. He smiled sweetly at you as he sighed in defeat.
Beomgyu has always been a big fan of extravagance and elegance, and tonight, he was eager to show it off again to you. He asked you to close your eyes as he stood up to grab the gift he bought. When you opened your eyes, a beautifully wrapped box sat invitingly on the table.
“Open it,” he said, a playful glint in his eyes. You excitedly open the box. Inside, you found the most exquisite lingerie—a lingerie that shimmered softly, and you bet it wouldn't cover you fully.
Your eyes are wide as you stutter to talk to him.
"L-love, what...what is this?" This is the lingerie your eyes always laid upon whenever you go to that one place with Beomgyu. You just always smile at yourself every time you see this, shaking off the naughty ideas building in your mind. But to hold it with your own hands, to be gifted it to you as your own, it makes you so shy.
“Try it on for me,” he urged, his excitement palpable. He crossed his arms on his chest as he stared at you, a smirk, once again, plastered on his face. You felt a rush of anticipation as you headed to his bedroom, slipping into the lingerie. Staring at your reflection in the mirror. Unsure if you want to go out and face him. Your cheeks show a visible bright hue of pink, and your ears red.
Beomgyu was the one to follow you when you did not show. Beomgyu’s expression was one of pure admiration. “Wow,” he breathed, stepping closer. “You look breathtaking.” The red lingerie is barely covering your chest, you are thankful that there was a free mini skirt cut of the lingerie that can cover you below.
He circled you slowly, taking in every detail, before leaning in to whisper, “Fuck, it fits you perfectly." He tucks your hair on the back of your ear. Your ears burn hot with embarrassment and with the sensation. Yes, you've been with Beomgyu for a while but you haven't taken it to the next level, aside from heavy make-outs of course, that's why you feel so small and embarrassed in front of him.
He made you face the big mirror again, as he stood at your back. He gently placed his arms on your neck. You couldn't help but whimper at how you looked. You shut your eyes as you felt a shiver down your spine.
"Fuck." He cursed once more, almost unheard. "Don't make a sound like that, sweetheart. I might not be able to control myself." He places his other hand on your waist, taking a dip where your neck and shoulder blades meet as he inhales your scent. "You smell so sweet."
"Beomgyu, please..." You can feel yourself trembling in his hands. He pulls away, making you frown a little bit. He walked towards the bed as he sat down on the edge.
"C'mere." He taps on his lap as you walk towards him. You swear you heard him mutter 'fuck's' and 'shit's' under his breath. You sat on his lap as he held your waist, letting his lips crash on yours. You clawed on his chest for the sensation you are feeling. The kiss he's giving you is careful but needy, gentle but hot. You both pull away, lips swollen, and steam can be felt between the two of you.
"Please tell me to stop now. I can't afford to hurt you." He closed his eyes as he tried to ground himself. With mustered-up courage, you slowly got off of him and started to get down instead.
"Sweetheart, I'm warning you." He tried to warn you as he held your wrist. You shook your head. "I've been dying to do this to you, Beomie". You stared up at him as you slowly unbuckled his belt.
"Fuck, please..." He bit his lips. Still trying to control himself. You raise his dress shirt a bit, enough for his abdomen to show.
You slowly stroke him when he finally lets go of your wrist.
"Ah! Shit- love, fuck." You can see how his abdomen clenches at the sensation. You lowered your head, giving him kitten licks, testing the waters, tasting his pre-cum. He held your hair, not enough to hurt you but enough to take control. He tried to lower your head more, making his tip be fully shoved into your mouth.
"Fucking hell. You look so pretty." He loosens his grip on your hair and carefully caresses your face, as you lean on his hand. He voluntarily removed the buttons of his shirt discarding it at the bedside.
His hands moved back to your head once again as he pushed you down a bit more making you whimper. He cursed once again as he felt the vibrating sensation from your mouth. "Are you okay?" He checks you. Only for him to moan again as you hum on his cock in your mouth. Once he knows you got used to him, he controls the moment of your head, making you clench on nothing. You are guessing he is almost coming undone when his voice gets a bit higher in pitch.
"Fuck, stop right there." He commanded, making you stop your movement. He pulled you up to kiss you once again, this time a bit more aggressive than the first one. He pulled away, only to press his thumb on your lips. "Hot.." you muttered, before sucking on his thumb. The action got Beomgyu reeling as his remaining self-control slipped out.
He made you stand up and lay down on the bed as he discarded his pants. You were not expecting him to go down on you but he is Beomgyu. The guy who always puts you first. The guy who always took care of you first instead of himself. His fingers swiftly removed the newly bought lingerie,
You trembled when you felt his tongue lap onto your cunt. He gripped your waist to stop you from squirming away from him.
"Beomgyu! Ah fuck! Fuck it feels so good!" The voice came out strained. He hums and looks up at you as he rubs a circular motion on your sensitive nub.
"Please, please Beomgyu! I-i'm gonna cum!" Your eyes well up with tears. As you beg him, unsure of what, you chant him as many please as your mouth can say.
He tasted a salty-sweet taste on his tongue as you come undone, fucking his tongue in and out of you as you ride your high.
"Give me one more, love, I know you can." He said as he once more made you cum on his tongue.
"You tasted so sweet. I might be addicted to your taste, damn."He mutters as he hovers over you, littering your neck with dark red and purplish marks. You tried to grind on him which he immediately felt and smiled.
"Never thought you'd be this eager. I should've bought that lingerie a long time ago if I only knew." He chuckled as he pressed a deep kiss on your still-swollen lips.
He supported his body up with his arms. Your eyes watched how his muscles flexed on both of his arms. You can't help but hold on to it knowing what is happening next.
"Should we stop, love? I have no condoms prepared. I really didn't know we were taking it up to-"
"Please take me raw." Your eyes pleading. You held his arms tighter. He stared at your love bites- littered body as he bit his lips.
"If you ask me like that, how can I even say no?". He held your cheeks for a while before totally discarding his boxers. "Tell me if it's too much and we'll stop. I want to ruin you but I don't wanna hurt you, darling." He sincerely said as he lined himself up at your entrance.
You never felt a sensation this good before. His raw flesh drags inside you slowly. "More. I can take it" you assured, shaking off the stretching pain you are feeling.
"Please tell me the truth. I think I'm hurting you, baby." He worries. You hug him closer as you ask him to fully push in. "Please push it in more, Beom. I need more.." you muttered, cock drunk, fucked out.
He can't help but to bit his lip and bottom out in you as he stared at your fucked out expression. "Fuckin' tight. You feel so good, wrapping around my cock, baby." He smirked at you. You avoided his gaze out of embarrassment as
"I'll start moving." He announced still staring at you as he slowly moved in and out. You are now a whimpering and a moaning mess in front of him. The pretty girl who once was pretty in his eyes when angry is now all fucked out. Unable to form coherent words as whimpers, whines, and moans are the only thing that comes out of your mouth.
"Ahh! Shit love, please stop clenching on me or I might cum inside you!" With a warning tone, he tries to stop you. But every time you hear him curse, you heard him moan as if on cue, as you were clenching on his cock. You can't help yourself but clench on him some more.
"I'm.. fuck.. fuck! Fuck Beomgyu! Oh god!" You were squirming under him, feeling every bit of his cock drag in your insides. It's giving you too much sensation you couldn't handle.
"Come on my cock then. Show me how much you love me, baby. Show me how much you can do for me." He himself can't help but move faster inside you with his high nearing.
You clawed on his arms making him wince as you come undone on his cock, body shaking, he held you closer as he fucks you more into your high, his white thick cum painting your walls. "Shit!" He exclaimed as his ears rang when he pushed more inside, making your lips quiver and your eyes shut close.
A few more seconds when he calmed down from his high he pulled out of you. Almost ran to the bathroom to grab a wet towel. In everything, he puts you first, cleaning you more than himself. He grabbed a shirt from his closet and made you slip it on to make you feel comfortable. He picked up his pants to wear them again as he laid beside you.
You mouthed 'Happy anniversary, love' before you buried your face in the crook of his neck. He chuckled as he pulled you closer and hugged you as he tucked you both under the blanket. Allowing you and himself to dive deep in sleep.
'This was a better gift than the watch, I guess', he thinks to himself.
@binniesbooks 2024
361 notes · View notes
reeniecon · 2 months
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- FAKE DATING ?! -
Ace trappola , rook hunt, sebek zigvolt
Summary: you ask them to "date" you so the unwanted man can back off, but turns out that they have feelings for you <3
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😱‼️ : gender-neutral reader, bad grammar ( as always lmao but it's not that bad I promise hehe)
My other fics
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Ace Trappola
Ah great, fake dating with ace Trappola, what were you thinking. But yeah I guess he can be somehow reliable in this situation
HE'S GOOD WITH IT.
Idk why but I felt like Ace would be the most natural when doing it.
He already date someone before and he is a friendly and adaptive person so it's not something that he sucks at.
He would hug you, hold your hand even as far as giving you a kiss on the cheek, and... You get the idea
He's so good at it that sometimes you forget that you guys fake your relationship... Ugh so annoying
But as I said before, he's good at faking it so that means, he is good at faking that he did not have any feelings toward you at all
Over time, you're "dating" Him you can see that Ace started being more touchy with you...
Not to mention how his face turned red after you questioned him about it!!
How cute!!
" Hey, what did you think about us being a real couple? NO, IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT US TO BE A REAL COUPLE! I'M I'M I'M JUST ASKING!!! don't look at me like that..."
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Rook hunt
BINGO!!
YOU'VE CHOSEN THE RIGHT PERSON YEAHHHH!! ROOK HUNT THE BEST OF THE BEST IN THIS CATEGORY AND EVEN ALL OF THE CATEGORY!!!
the most natural the most romantic the most perfect person too choose
He did not make you uncomfortable but still managed to make your relationship believable to everyone else!!
No one thinks otherwise !!
He hugs you, he holds hands, he gives you love letters and he kisses you!! With consent!!!
He makes you feel so loved that it was so dangerous in this kind of relationship!!
But that is his goal anyway~
To make you feel for him~ And it's working great !!
" Mon amour, don't you think fake relationships are kind of boring these days? Do you want to make it real? With me ofc "
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Sebek zigvolt
Why...
Just why
Why him there are like 1738272 guys out there who are more qualified for this role than him tbh...
Uh, firstly he would not want to do this "immoral activity" With you... Because he wants to focus on protecting his Waka-sama and how could you do this to him...
But, thankfully after days and weeks of begging him to help you, he finally complies
HE'S BAD AT IT
LIKE SRSLY, LIKE FOR REAL SO BAD AT IT I CAN EVEN DESCRIBE HOW BAD WE WERE AT IT.
he cannot hold your hand, he cannot act straight, a kiss? You expect him to kiss you?? yeah sure awkwardly trembling Sebek is here.
Tbh you guys look like a new couple that is newly bloomed
He Daily asks for Lilia's advice on this, like how can he improve etc.
And somehow he is really invested in making it believable in front of everyone, wow +1000 for the efforts Sebek
As time passes, he becomes more miserable about your relationship he wants more not just a fake relationship a real one. A real relationship
"Human....
..
...
....
.....
( inhales )
....
...
..
I LOVE YOU!! PLEASE BE MY BRIDE!!!!
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266 notes · View notes
Note
Can you do a one shot where male reader feels like hc and xl don’t really need him and starts distancing himself from them. He thinks they are perfect for each other and that he is a nuisance ruining the relationship between them. He takes comfort to a friend who has liked the male reader for a really long time. Hc and xl see this and get jealous. Wondering if the reader doesn’t like them anymore and feels sad. Seeing the reader looking happy in the comfort of someone else.
Creating Space
Hua Cheng x M!reader x Xie Lian
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Ugh I love angst so much. It hurts so good 😭
Ignore grammar mistakes
Slight OOC
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Some people may say being in the presence of the two strongest and revered people creates a lot of pressure. It's never been a problem for you. You've always enjoyed being in the presence of your two lovers. Xie Lian, a powerful and elegant martial god. While His Cheng is a powerful and suave ghost.
You love them very much.
But you lied, it is kind of pressuring. There's nothing wrong with your lovers of course! It's just that they're so strong and popular on their own. You aren't a very powerful god and you aren't a very powerful ghost. People don't know you. Most times your name is "That's the crown prince's lover, or that's crimson rain's lover"
You could live with this, it's not like you had a desire to be seen by the world. People just tend to forget about you. A lot of people don't like you exist so most of the time they accidentally exclude you from your own relationship. It just seems like an impossible place to reach. What could you do to seem important as well?
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng say you do plenty of important things by loving and taking care of them but it doesn't feel like that. You don't really do anything for them either. Neither of them needs protecting. They can protect themselves and each other just fine, and they go out of their way to protect you too.
Xie Lian is kind and keeps you and Hua Cheng calm. Assuring the both of you, and making sure everyone feels loved. The level headed of the three of you. Hua Cheng is very protective, and goes out his way to do things out of devotion or love. You can't do anything to compete.
Your relationship doesn't go as deep with them either. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are just so wrapped up in each other it doesn't seem like there's room for three. They're already perfect by themselves and it doesn't look like they need you at all. You don't have a clue on why they even love you.
You've tried to make yourself more outgoing in the relationship? Trying to help them on missions or, help them with daily activities. You've tried taking over household chores like cleaning or cooking and yet it seems fruitless.
They always tell you that it isn't necessary. Someone else will take care of it. Hua Cheng has other people clean the manor, and Xie Lian would gladly cook by himself. They obviously don't need your help in missions, you'd probably just get in the way more than help.
You don't have a very outgoing presence in bed either. Very often Hua Cheng and Xie Lian do everything for you. Sometimes you try to give them pleasure instead. It doesn't matter if it's something little or big, your lovers shake their heads and say that it's a silly thought. You don't need to do anything they'll do it for you. Your lovers give you pleasure, they give each other pleasure. You want to give them pleasure too though.
These thoughts have been at the back of your mind for a while. That Xie Lian and Hua Cheng don't need you. These thoughts make you a little more clingy, a little more desperate. They haven't changed how they act towards you though. You just don't want to feel useless.
🦊🪷
"A-Lian please, let me tag along. All three of us can go on the mission together. Like uh, like a date or something!" You follow Xie Lian around the kitchen, trying to persuade him into changing his mind. It isn't working, it never does.
"A-n, me and San Lang can do it. We won't be long, promise. Just stay here" Xie Lian smiles at you and kisses your head. But you don't want to take this for an answer. You want to help! With something. Anything! It feels awful to just sit around while your lovers do every little thing for you.
You huff softly, watching your lovers get ready without you. "A-Lang you don't agree do you? Please tell A-Lian to let me tag along. I'll make sure not to get in the way!" You try persuading your ghost lover instead, gripping onto his arm to make him look at you.
You already feel humiliated. Begging like a child to join your lovers in something even though you're a grown man. San Lang shakes his head, " Getting in the way isn't our concern baobei. Gege is right we'll take care of it and be back home soon." He kisses your cheek.
You're left in Paradise Manor alone while your lovers leave off somewhere. You should be happy, you feel selfish actually. Anyone would be happy that their lovers do everything for them. Anyone would be happy to be taken care of all the time for the rest of their lives. You just can't...
Soooo you decide instead of sitting at home why not just follow your lovers out! It's not like you would be harming anything, maybe they'd even be delighted to see you. It's a better idea than sitting here doing nothing.
That's exactly what you do, you follow your lovers. With quite a bit of distance and making sure to be careful. You eventually find them, of course not in a good situation. They're busy fighting off wrathful ghosts and you make sure to stay far back. You don't want them to get hurt or anything so you'll just wait over here until they're finished.
That doesn't go well either. One of the ghosts notices you. It strays from the fight without notice from Xie Lian or Hua Cheng. Instead it comes for you, it's not like you're weak! You yelp from the surprise attack from the ghost, but otherwise you easily slay it down. All you were left with was a few deep scratches on your face. Whoo, It nearly got your eye!
You're feeling pretty proud of yourself until a pair of hands are gripping your face, and you notice Hua Cheng looking over your wounds. Even though you have some deep scratches you're smiling anyways. You just killed a ghost! A wrathful one at that!
Before you can exclaim your celebrations Xie Lian is dabbing medicine on your wounds with a furrowed brow. "What are you doing here y/n! We told you to stay home!"
Your smile falls, as your lovers both frown at you. You don't understand you did great! It was only a wound, everyone gets wounds sometimes! "I-I wanted to help" the word mumble from your lips, and Xie Lian finishes dressing your wound.
"How did that fair for you? We were doing just fine without you y/n, but now you're hurt" Xie Lian exclaims, flushed by nervousness and frustration. He had only wanted to keep you safe. He didn't mean to say it like that. It was a slip of the tongue. He hadn't meant it in hostility but you take it as such anyways.
"You two do seem just fine without me" you purse your lips, and back up. You're just upset, obviously Xie Lian would never mean such a thing but right now you can't help but take it as such. You've been suffering with these thoughts for weeks!
You quickly use what powers you do have to make a quick pathway and teleport away. Running away? Classic move but it feels better than sitting in front of your lovers disappointed faces. You just need time to get your feelings together so you decide to visit a friend's place.
You and Mu Qing know each other pretty well and you're great friends! Even though Mu Qing won't admit that. He's actually loved you for a while but you love Xie Lian and Hua Cheng and Mu Qing would never break up your happiness. He's been working on moving on so of course you can still come over and complain to him.
This time you just lie in his arms for a while. You spent some time just getting your thoughts together and stop crying. Then you tell Mu Qing what happened. He calls Hua Cheng stupid and says Xie Lian is oblivious with an eye roll. Mu Qing is actually good at advice and comforting you.
On the other end your lovers are very upset with themselves. Hua Cheng wanted to immediately come find you but Xie Lian told him it was better to give you space. They know you inside and out and Xie Lian knows you need time to get your emotions in order.
After a few hours Hua Cheng decides time is up though and breaks into the heavens again. Just because. Does it count as breaking in if Xie Lian let him in? Nah. They know where you are, unfortunately. They know you're with Mu Qing. Hua Cheng doesn't like that one bit. He's very capable of jumping to the conclusion that Mu Qing is trying to manipulate you while you're vulnerable but Xie Lian assures him otherwise.
Xie Lian makes Hua Cheng wait outside of Mu Qing's palace. Things would only blow off the hinges if Hua Cheng and Mu Qing fought. Xie Lian goes in by himself. He eventually finds you, not like it was hard. He isn't too happy to find you in Mu Qing's arms. Happy and comfortable. He hasn't seen a smile like that on your face in a long time.
Xie Lian ignores the lingering prickles of jealousy and walks into Mu Qing's room without invitation or notice. "A-n t's getting late, let's go home? Please?" He's relieved when you take his hand. Honestly it's nerve-racking. He hadn't meant to say such a harsh thing and then you went to someone else who is obviously much more capable at making you happier than they are.
Xie Lian and you join up with Hua Cheng again. You spend most of the journey back staring at the ground. You're ashamed, you feel like you overreacted. You were being dumb. Maybe they're angry at you and yet all three of you still hold hands. And yet when you get back to Paradise Manor, you all get ready for bed. And yet Xie Lian helps you disrobe and Hua Cheng checks your wounds before you lie down. And yet all three of you end up in the same bed, entangled in each other's limbs. Just like every night.
You all talk about it, words mumbling quietly in the dark room. It's a long conversation of "I'm sorry" and "I love you". You want to talk about your feelings more. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng want to make sure you don't feel left out or they're being distinct. The night ends with kisses and cuddles.
So maybe nothing was really ever wrong, and it would all turn out just fine. Because they've always loved you and you always loved them. Something like this isn't a big enough obstacle to take you away from them.
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fyodere · 6 months
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gakuen!fyodor smut
my cold fingers running through your hair.
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﹙ 💬 ﹚── parings: fyodor dostoevsky x fem!reader ♡
₍^. .^₎⟆ ── content warnings / tags : nsfw content (mdni), high school!au, fyodor is mean, nasty absolutely filthy smut, misogyny kink, corruption kink, academic rivals, petnames, degradation, fyodor is a sadic, hairpulling, blowjobs (m receiving), underage (you and fedya are like 17), catholic guilt, wet dream, dirty thoughts ♡
﹙ 🔪 ﹚── synopsis : Fyodor never liked you, not with your presumption and your ability to always get the questions right in the classroom. He not only didn't like you, but he hated you, even though he despises you as woman, you constantly occupy his thoughts. However, somehow, you haunt him. Fyodor wakes up with a start, he realizes that you were present in his dreams. A dream he would pray to forget.
﹙ 🩸 ﹚── author's note : GAKUEN!FEDYA SMUT BABYYYY oh lord you guys don’t know how much i’m excited for this. I even made an ai bot of this concept on janitor ai. this was on my drafts since last year so excuse my grammar 😩 i hope you enjoy it !!
୧ ‧₊˚ 🔪 💬 🐈‍⬛ ⋅
Still breathless, Fyodor tried to look around to rationalize the situation. He could see straight now and his eyes were getting used to the darkness of his room.
03:27AM
Oh.
Dostoevsky sighed. It was late, he needed at least one good night of sleep for his upcoming test and cello practice. Now his body is feeling uncomfortably awkward. This was unusual, Fyodor always keep everything in check. Maybe if he tried to close his eyes, and if he lay really still, he could trick his body into falling asleep again. It was a good plan. Obvious, but still good plan. Fyodor smirked for himself as he close his eyes again, of course he always have a plan.
But then, the sudden feeling on his throat came back. His heartbeat is racing again. What is it? No, It couldn’t be…
Fyodor opened his eyes with a slight feeling of rage. He remembered.
Oh, he remembered.
And for the first time, he wished for his brilliant brain stop working. Fyodor knew how his memory was sharp, but now it feels like a big waste of time.
Fyodor had a dream. A dream that he would pray to God just to forget. Could he call it a nightmare?
It wasn’t a nightmare for sure, but it was still cursed. Maybe uncomfortable and embarrassing.
Embarrassing. Ah, how Fyodor was glad that anyone couldn’t look at his poor face at this moment. He hates when he doesn’t have full control of the situation, keeping his feelings under control was a form of not getting lost, he is used to it.
Fyodor doesn’t dream regularly. He was a really sleepy or not sleep at all type of person. When his body finally gives in to fatigue, the dreams become blurry because of his mind’s tiredness. But Fyodor doesn’t mind at all, Dostoevsky couldn’t see the mystical side of dreaming. For him, this was only a way for his mind process everything that he saw through the day.
That’s why his friends appear regularly when he dream about something. Sometimes his family when his subconscious is trying to process his past — even though Fyodor is neutral about most of his dreams, he would consider these the bad ones. Or at least the ones that he would like to forget.
But it wasn’t that type of bad dream either.
When Nikolai or Sigma appear on his dreams things get a lot lighter. It always ended up being a relief. Sometimes he chuckles for himself in the most unfortunate moments remembering those. Fyodor let a nasal laugh come out when this thoughts come on his mind.
No. This wasn’t the answer yet. His dream hadn’t been any of those things, but he is getting close.
He dreamt of you.
You.
This wasn’t surprising for him though. Fyodor knows — Oh God, how bad he knows — how he keeps you on his mind. Fyodor could justify himself telling that you’re his rival and it’s normal having plans about the next provocative thing he is going to say when you guys met again, or spend time thinking about how he is going to destroy you in the upcoming test.
Fyodor could pretend that he was fooling himself with those false conclusions, but he knows the truth, he always knows. It’s the greatest Dostoevsky after all, the special child that was gifted, or even better, blessed with his brain.
But it wasn’t the case, and Fyodor knows that too. He always knows. Another sigh came out of his mouth, Fyodor closed his eyes and take another deep breath. When did he allowed himself feeling this emotions? This wasn’t right. But he can’t keep torturing himself, maybe just for tonight he will allow all those thoughts come — Just for releasing them in the next day, of course.
Fyodor still could feel the warmth. It was cleaning day and you were his duo, this mean that you’re going to be together for a while. It may sound exhausting, you guys were rivals and have a psychological war while cleaning was kind of messed up. You guys were in a silent truce. No one had to flag this, you both could read the situation — And each other’s thoughts, even though you’re not going to admit that —, you payed too much attention on him just like he recorded every reaction of you. From your facial expressions from your small and smooth body movements. Every detail.
Well, it’s not like you could run away. You also committed your sins when spent too much time looking at Fyodor bitting his thumb while he was concentrating, you hated how playful yet majestic his actions are. Everything about him just fitted so perfectly that you couldn’t help but feel some anger— Or just full yourself to believe that you’re not feeling other type of intense feeling beside rage.
You were sweeping the classroom’s floor while Fyodor cleaned the windows. The sun was setting and the sky was turning into a beautiful orange color slowly turning darker as the clouds complemented it. Suddenly, everything felt warm. Fyodor was looking at you by the window reflection, he also could see how much he was staring and this made he feel ashamed. You could feel Fyodor’s piercing gaze even though he wasn’t even looking directly. You couldn’t help but give a small smirk.
“Looks like someone can’t focus on his little task…” You said playfully, your eyes were still looking at the floor while you sweeps. You wanted to give that unbothered impression. “Am I distracting you?” You finally looked up, he was still looking at the window. You could hear his sigh — It almost sound like a laugh.
How presumptuous. Fyodor thought. And you know that he thought that. It make you chuckle, this unexpected harmony was slowly tying you two together.
“Oh.” Dostoevsky finally turned to you. His silently confidence makes you want to shut his mouth before he even dare to speak a word. “Oh, darling, I almost forgot that you are here.” Now was Fyodor’s time to be presumptuous, and he knows how this will get into your nerves. “Trying to get an excuse to talk to me, ah? How cute.”
You let a tsk come out. Fyodor felt victorious keeping you silent. Now you’re looking at the floor again, sweeping the classroom. Even though your eyes were focused the task, your ears still work perfectly. And you heard Fyodor’s slow footsteps getting closer. You know he is behind of you now, but you try to play clueless.
“Hmmm…” Fyodor is getting closer to you, he is speaking next to your ear. Your body gets tense. “What is it now? Little mouse got scared?” His voice almost sound like a whisper, a very teasing one. His breath is touching your neck and ear. Where did his russian accent became so provocative? Now his hands are slowly moving to your waist.
Fyodor likes how you look small next to him. You look so vulnerable, so easy to tease. He can’t let you scape now. Now his hands travel till they reach out your upper body. Dostoevsky couldn’t help, he squeezes your uniform letting it wrinkled. Your breath got heavy as he keeps touching you, unfortunately, you catch yourself biting your lip to not let a moan slide. Fyodor’s touch feel so great, he loves how his big and skilled hands can hug perfectly your curves and play with them.
“Wait…” You finally open say something after opening and closing your mouth for a while, your voice is a little shaky and a few sighs come when you talk. “Not here, what if somebody—“
“Hm?” Fyodor cut you off abruptly. He doesn’t like when you complain, he likes to have full control of the situation. “I’m not doing anything, darling. Am I?” Now his hands squeeze you more roughly, as if he wants to get a better reaction from you. The russian young man has a smug look on his face. You look so fragile and easy to mess with. He enjoys the sense of control, Fyodor is taking the lead now, and you feel like a loser for enjoying it so much — It’s like screaming that you lost.
Dostoevsky's eyes widened slightly, and his fingers tightened around your waist, making you feel uncomfortable. He didn't seem to notice your pain, though. Instead, he leaned forward, pressing his lips against your neck. His mouth was cold and dry, but you could still feel his tongue licking your exposed sensitive skin. When he finally pulled away, he smiled, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. He let go of you and sat back in his chair, his hands resting on his thighs. He seemed to have forgotten about your existence entirely. You felt like nothing more than a toy he played with when he got bored.
Dostoevsky is silent for a moment, contemplating whether to continue or not. He looks at you with a half-smile, a hint of cruelty in his eyes. He knows how to play with words and actions, and he takes advantage of every opportunity to make sure that you´re miserable and uncomfortable around him. He is not someone who shows affection or warmth, and he is definitely not someone who is good at expressing feelings. He is a cold, calculating man who sees everything in terms of power and control. His tone is still harsh, but there's a hint of softness in his voice when he says. "You're not doing anything?"
You decided to act like a greedy whore and got into your knees.
Fyodor pulls down his pants and underwear, revealing his cock, which is already hard. He strokes it slowly, watching you closely. He seems to enjoy the way you react to his actions. He keeps on talking, his voice is still harsh, but there's a certain amount of tenderness in his tone. He doesn't want you to feel bad, just frustrated and unhappy. He is a sadistic bastard, but he has a soft side too. And it shows in the way he treats you. "Now, tell me, what do you want? Do you want me to fuck you? Or would you prefer me to beat you? Which one do you like better?"
"Hit me. I challenge you." You giggle in a act of courage. "I know you can’t—" Fyodor chuckles darkly, a sign of his humor. He's not laughing at you, he's just teasing you. He slaps you across the face, hard enough to make you cry, but not enough to draw blood. He leans in close, whispering in your ear. "Tell me, how do you like being treated like a piece of meat? A toy to be played with? A slave to obey? Because that's what you are, isn't it? You're nothing but a whore, a filthy, worthless piece of shit."
Fyodor was merciless. He didn’t care about the brimming tears in the corner of your eyes, didn’t care about your shaking legs or your small chokes.
Slobbering sound filled the small stall, and you sat on the floor obediently like a little puppy as he used your mouth to his liking. Your uniform was wholly unbuttoned, bundled up at your elbows with your nipples peeking from your bra.
It was always his favorite look on you, clothed in the school’s garb. The uniform that should represent your focus on studies and discipline is wearing for you choke on him. Fyodor has to admit how pleasing it is, it arouses him to the point of madness.
“Good little mouse, now, open your mouth and stick out your tongue.” He commanded once more in a commanding but still seductive tone. He was loving this, the power is was feeling. His smirk grew as he continued, he was loving every second of this.
His eyes were dark and sinister now, they were almost completely in a reddish purple tone. His pupils are comically big due the excitement. He seemed so in control now. He loved it.
Fyodor smirked once more as you do as asked. You seemed to be getting really into this now.
Your tongue pressed wide and flat. Fyodor shuddered at the feeling, at your tongue rubbing over his slit, precum oozing out. You did it again and Fyodor let a moan slide out, you was pressing the tip of your tongue into his slit now, coaxing out more of his essence. Dostoevsky loved the feeling, he loved how pathetic you look like this.
It was so intense, the sight of your lips curled around his cock, how piercing his arouse gaze was. You hummed before sinking down, swallowing as much of Fyodor’s length as he could. Dostoevsky was panting, the feeling so intense that it was almost overwhelming. You began to suck harshly, cheeks hallowed out and you was bobbing your head now as well, head going up and down as you sucked Fyodor’s cock. The russian didn’t want to say it loud, but he wasn’t going to last.
"Good little mouse, I knew you could do it." He said in a soft and seductive tone, his eyes closed in pleasure. His hands moved to your head now, he loved the feeling of her hair in his hand. He seemed a little proud, even. He felt like he had helped you, in a way. "Good girl..." He whispered as he gently stroke your hair.
You keep sucking him harshly, enjoying how he felt warm inside of you. You couldn’t help but let a few tears coming out. The intelligent girl with a sharp tongue was gone, now you’re just a little whore to Fyodor play with — and you both sightly love this.
“Do you like to be dominated by a man like me, little mouse? Are you such a submissive little girl?” He asked with a smirk. He seemed to be amused by the whole situation, by all the control that he holds now. You can almost feel that he was about to release.
You felt your panties dampening as he say that, he grabbed a fistful of your hair keeping your head in your place as he changed the pace to a quicker one, accelerating the beats of your heart. He was pulsing inside your mouth. He was so close, so close, so close…
Fyodor just couldn’t resist. The wet and warm feeling of your mouth along with your pity puppy face was driving him crazy. You are being so obedient to him. He need to fill your mouth a little more, just a little more…
“Jesus.” Fyodor said to himself, alone in his room. The dream was wild, he feels pretty ashamed by how sinful and dirty his mind can be when he is asleep, at least you will never know that. Right now he just want to close his eyes and go back to sleep, but this weird feeling don’t leave. His hair still feel sticky and his forehead sweaty. His skin felt so tight like a growing claustrophobic feeling.
Oh, wait.
Dostoevsky looked down to his pants with a disgusted face. How shameful of him. Now that he has knowledge of the weird feeling on his body it’s easier to ignore.
Ah, for sure he isn’t going to go anything about that besides ignore. Fyodor genuinely believe that masturbation is a stupid thing, he is not going to waste his time — and risk his inner pride doing such a thing.
Dostoevsky closed his eyes taking a few deep breaths, he just needed to clean his mind. Maybe counting one to one hundred could help, Fyodor just need to take you away from his thoughts.
He just didn’t expected how addictive this fantasies are.
hii heres part two <3
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chantiying · 5 months
Text
Message from your inner child
Before to start, sorry for any mistakes or grammar error. English is not my first language. How to choose? Think of something you liked when you were a child (a game, a toy, a smell, a candy, your favorite stuffed animal) and try to remember you as a kid, take a deep breath and when you're ready, you and your inner child choose the image that drawn to you. Remember tarot is not set on stone and you can change your path whenever you want. This is for entertainment purposes. This reading is general so if it doesn't resonate with you just let it go
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: ¨·.·¨ :
` ·. 🦋
╱|、
(˚ˎ 。7
|、˜〵
じしˍ,)ノ
TW. Direct or indirect mention of abuse, bulling, violence, familial violence, broken family among others.
Ok, let's go!!!
PILE 1
Hello my friend :) Do you remember how disastrous our childhood was? Do you remember that there were some people who hurt us? Remember when we were pushed aside from parties? Do you remember when we found out that sometimes the "love" of a couple is not two but three? Remember when we found out what infidelity meant? Come, here and close your eyes for a moment, because I want to tell you a secret but I don't want you to see me are you ready? Yes? Ok: the infidelity of our parents marked me
I know since then we don't know what it means to love or how to make a relationship work. I know it's a lot harder for you than it was for me. I know sometimes you wonder if you're loving too little or too much, I know you're scared of being harmed like mom and dad did. Do you still feel that strange feeling of isolating all noise with music or the TV on while we sit on the floor of the room begging for it all to end? I do love you, my friend :) I know it seems a little difficult, I know it seems a little hard to say and hear, I know you may not believe it because they made you doubt what it means to love someone, but, I'll let you in on another secret: I don't feel alone anymore. I've learned that sometimes we have to leave where the water overflows to build a better castle. I learned to be smarter and not to argue when it's not necessary, to stop talking where no one listens, to live with myself and with you.
Please, I know it's not easy, but I want you to start again, on your own, I want you to leave everything behind, to let the dragons (they are not bad I already talked to them and they said they are on our side) I want you to let them destroy what hurts us, and to start building your own fortress. I want to be your first beautiful relationship. I want that you love me because I love you and I will always love you. Please love me, okay? Let's be you and me (km little you, hehe) against everyone. I want to be your partner in crime and have us laugh together. I promise you that after that, we're going to smile more and forget what they did to us.
You also have to eat well, did you hear me? Oh and don't tell anyone, but, I'm craving our favorite sweet treat from when we were little, can you eat it for us?
I'm always with you, don't forget me, I'm you but in little. Oh, something else, let's pretend it's your birthday, yei ! let's be happy for today and close your eyes again and make a wish
Francis Forever Mitski, Innocent Taylor Swift. Grey, Purple, Blue. Leaves & Streets. Orange juice?, Music, Cartoons, Headphones, Magic Wand. Mulan (I'll Make a Man Out of You)
🧸🎂🎈🍫 🧸🪄🎈🍫
PILE 2
Hey!!! What's up, buddy? I am very happy, I feel that I have arrived where I needed to be, I feel that the sun has finally risen, I feel that all the changes I had to go through have now paid off. The knowledge, the peace, the beliefs, everything I needed to cultivate is bearing fruit. See? I even speak as someone cultured and intellectual 😸. At first I didn't notice it, I was incredulous, but then I started thinking and thinking and thinking, and I realized that the change started in the interior. I know, you don't have to tell me, it sounds very cheesy, it sounds silly, but, I must admit, even if it's a little embarrassing, that sometimes dreaming and being cheesy is kind of fun SO DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME 😾😹. Ok, let's be serious, mate. We went through a time where we didn't believe in anything and we didn't even know if we should believe but I kept doing it. I kept looking until I got to where I needed to and BOOM it all made sense. Our lives are going to get better, we're better now, we're brave, we're smart, we're strong, we're cool !! We still have to keep learning, we still have a long way to go, but I learned that learning is also fun. DON'T GIVE UP, OK? Ok. I know it's hard to grow, but we've always wanted this, we've never bowed down, we've never given up, we've always looked forward and we'll continue to do so
Keep in your heart the ones who help you and give you happy moments, then let's continue writing our story
No matter how many steps forward you take, whether it's one or two or a thousand, I'll always be there proud of where you've taken us and what an amazing person you've made us. I only ask you to never forget where you come from and where you are going, don't forget to be grateful, don't play with anyone's heart or time, that's not good 😾. I want you to appreciate the time and I want that, when you think that the world is against you, or that everything is going wrong, you can change it. Don't worry, I don't want you to blame yourself for everything, but I also don't want you to always blame it on others. I know sometimes it's hard, keep trying again and again, even if you're scared don't don't victimize yourself because heroes don't do that, and you and I have the prettiest cape, we have the cutest glitter and we have the best superhero story just for us, and don't be afraid, because superheroes can do anything and if we can't our superhero friends will help us 😼
Let's be great, let's be epic!
Disney, A lot of changes or currently changing something, Happiness, Beach, Comics, Sun, Summer, Ice cream, Watch, Hats, Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride, Hannah Montana, Vacation, Pop en español (Pop in Spanish), Extrovert, Mischievous, Spider man? Funny, Tangled (the movie)
🦸, 👨‍🚀, 🐱, 🚀
PILE 3
There are two of us, we are yourself and I, and it has always been like this ☺️, do you feel confused? Because I do, a little bit, you won't get mad if I tell you, right? You'll understand, right? I feel like everything is going so fast, I feel like I can't stop, I feel like I want to rest, I feel like when I wanted the geography or math hour to end and go out for recess to get some fresh air. why is everything going so fast? I want to understand what's going on, I want to, I really want to, but I can't. Do you no longer feel distrustful? Do you believe in other people yet? Because I don't do it yet 🥺, do we have friends yet? Or are we still alone? Are they still hurting us? Are we still unsafe? I don't want to be like that anymore, I promise you, (crying?) I want to have a lot of friends, I want to be loved, I want to play, I want to have fun, but I can't believe in others, do you? I don't want to be alone, I know I said it was you and me, and I still believe it, it's you and me against the world, but I also want us to be more against the world. I want someone to turn on the light and hold my hand, would you? I want you to hug me, talk to me, I feel like you're mad at me, at the little you from a few years ago, did I do something wrong? Do you think it was my fault that we were treated like this? Do you think it was my fault that we were disappointed? I'm a little annoyed with you too, not gonna lie. you know what? I was a kid but you have everything to change what happened to us, you pretend that it doesn't hurt anymore and that's a lie! you're still upset and scared, listen, it's ENOUGH! Do something for us. At least I'm angry but I want us to change this, I want us to be happy. I want us to be together and happy, I want us to be one, I want you to remember me, but not only the bad but the good as well, remember what we like, remember the watercolors, the music we liked, remember the sun, the window, remember the yard, remember the stories that mom/dad used to tell us. Remember Mom/Dad. Remember the puddles after the rain. Please, I'm not asking you to want to be a child again to do everything differently, I'm asking you to connect with me so that our creativity flies, so that you know where to go, so that you can start something new.
The magic is in us, accept us, what you don't want to let out, is what makes us most beautiful
You will get what you want, but don't want everything, don't be ambitious. Don't forget us, don't forget you, never forget yourself.
Sadness, Grudge, Sobbing, Poverty (both spiritual and economic), Pranks, Bullying, Grass, Secret place, 8 years? Cold, Scams, Rain, Mirror, Emojis. Monsters, inc. As a child, Madeline The Person. J's lullaby (darling I'd wait for you), Delaney bailey. All I want, Kodaline. Rises the moon, Liana Flores
ꗃ🗝₊˚⊹♡ 𓉞 . ⸙͎。˚⋆ 𓋼
Hi guys! Sorry for the late update. To be honest I struggle being consistent in what I do, but I'm trying (no, I'm really trying) to be more consistent.
Today, is children's day in my country, so I decided to do this spread for you all, because I consider that connecting and embracing our inner child is one of the most healing things we can do. So happy Children's Day !!
Alic (Chanty) 🪽
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