#i give myself a headache bro

[alastors-wife]

dude i hate being a nb lesbian that's actually medically transitioning because i have NOOO idea how to refer to myself anymore

i was calling myself a "femme" before and I still relate to femmes but like...baby you're getting top surgery and you have facial hair im not sure this applies to u anymore. please

like im still VERY feminine with how I dress and everything but god this is such a confusing experience

[soursturniolo]

Anger and Apologies

Pairing - Chris Sturniolo/Reader

Summary - After a bad day, Chris snaps at you. Later, he tries to fix it.

Tags/CW - Chris being a dick for a minute, then being a bit clueless, reader sad and crying, Nick and Matt being good bros but also caring about the reader

Requested? - yes! hope you like it anon 🖤

Chris had been in a bad mood all day. He didn’t sleep well, his breakfast upset his stomach, he didn’t eat lunch, his dinner had been made wrong and was cold at the restaurant you all went to, he had a headache, and was just feeling not good. He didn’t really feel like being around people, but had made plans with you and his brothers and didn’t want to back out. So, here he was, in the living room with all of you.

You had picked up on this, as Chris wasn’t the best at hiding his emotions. You had checked in quietly a couple times with him, to which he just said he was fine with a tight smile. But you wanted to see one of those real, 1000 watt smiles of his. Smiles always make everyone feel better. So you tried to crack some jokes, which made his brothers cackle, but barely got a smirk out of chris. You didn’t give up though.

You then went the route of showing him some funny tiktoks, but soon that proved to be a bad idea. On the third TikTok you showed him, he snapped at you loudly, grabbing the attention of his brothers who had been engrossed in their own conversation.

“God, can you just shut up and leave me alone?! You’re so fucking annoying! I’m not in the mood to watch stupid ass tiktoks.” He yelled as he got up from the couch, walking off to his room and slamming the door, leaving you shocked. Your face flushed with shame and embarrassment as tears welled in your eyes. He never yelled at you before, and all you were trying to do was to make him feel better. While you sat there embarrassed and surprised, nick jumped up and walked briskly after him, hollering that he couldn’t just speak to you like that. However, he was met with Chris slamming his bedroom door in his face and the subtle click of the lock.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you pocketed your phone and stood up, wiping your now clammy hands on your pants and looking down, not meeting Matt’s concerned gaze that you could feel on you.

“I, um-“ you clear your throat, “I think I’m gonna go home. I’m sorry,” you pause, sniffling a bit before you swallow again and roughly wipe away the stubborn tears that you wish would stop, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset him, I was just-“

Matt can’t stand to hear your unnecessary apology shaking his head and standing with you.

“Hey, it’s okay. He was out of line, you did nothing wrong here,” matt tells you softly, before checking his phone, “it’s 2 am, it’s pretty late. You could stay if you’d want? You can stay in my room, I’ll sleep out here? Or I can drive you home?” He offers.

“No I’ll just drive myself home, I drove here so,” you say again, still sniffling.

Matt frowns at your response, looking worried and not relieved like you thought he’d be. Why wouldn’t he want you to just go? It would probably save him some awkwardness in the house tonight?

“I’d feel better if you stayed or let me drive you. You’re upset, and it’s not good to drive when you’re emotional especially when you can avoid it. You’re not just Chris’s girlfriend, you’re our friend and I wouldn’t be a good friend if I let you out into what could be a dangerous situation,” he explains, softly.

“Okay. Can you take me home, please?” You ask and he gives you a small smile and nods.

“Yeah I can,” he says grabbing his keys off the stand and walking you out to his car.

You got into the passenger side and were immediately hit with a big whiff of Chris’s cologne since this was the seat he normally sat in. The smell normally comforted you but instead just made you even more sad. You felt tears well up again as you began to cry openly now, making matt turn to you with a sad and concerned look from the drivers seat after starting the car.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you, rubbing your shoulder comfortingly.

After hearing the car start up out front, Nick came running out the front door, surprising you when he opened one of the rear doors and jumped in.

“Whats going on?” Nick asks, slightly out of breath from running out to you both.

“She wanted to go home, but I don’t want her driving while she’s so upset so I’m going to drive her,” Matt explains, and you nod, wiping away tears.

“Babe, I’m so sorry about Chris. He was way out of line and took his shitty mood out on you, which isn’t okay,” Nick tells you, looking remorseful.

“It’s okay,” you say softly, voice quiet.

“It’s really not,” Matt tells you.

“You guys don’t have to take my side in this, I was annoying him and he’s your brother and I don’t want to cause a fight or make things hard,” you explain to them, not wanting to cause problems. The two brothers quickly shake their heads.

“We’re not taking sides. Yes, Chris is our brother, we love him unconditionally and always will, but that doesn’t mean we just ignore when he’s a dick. We can love him, but still hold him accountable and care about how he treats you,” Nick explains, the voice of reason.

“Yeah, you’re important to us, too” Matt says in agreement.

You smile tearfully at the two men with you, you heart feeling a bit better than it did a minute ago. Chris had your heart, but his two brothers were also incredibly important to you, and it did feel better to know they weren’t about to just drop you or turn their back on you when you and Chris weren’t seeing eye to eye.

“Thank you guys,” you say to them, your tears coming to a stop.

They both give you small smiles and you all buckle up before Matt pulls out of the driveway to drive you home to your apartment.

Matt dropped you off and made his way back to their house. Upon arriving home, both brothers went in with the intention of having a serious conversation with their youngest brother, but decided against it when they found him in a deep sleep in his bed.

The night passed quickly and quietly. Chris awoke to rays of sunlight peaking through his blinds. He let out a sigh as he stretched, feeling good and well rested, before rolling over on his side and patting the surface of the bed, searching. His eyebrows furrowed together as he found just cold sheets, and no you. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times as he realized he was alone. Figuring you were up with his brothers already, he made his way into the kitchen, to only find Matt and Nick, both greeting him silently with serious looks on their faces.

“Where is she?” Chris asked confused, looking around expecting you to come out from somewhere.

“She went home last night,” Nick said blandly.

Chris’s jaw came open. You had left? He knew he had snapped at you, but he really didn’t think it was that big of a deal. So, he raised his voice a bit? It happens. He had expected to just go to his room to cool off for a bit last night, but fell asleep waiting for you to join him. He had assumed you’d come to his room eventually, not that you’d just leave?

“Why?” Chris found himself asking.

“You really don’t know?” Matt asked with a scoff and shake of his head in disapproval.

Chris returned a scoff and shrugged.

“So I got irritated and raised my voice a bit,” he said with an awkward laugh. At this both his brothers shook their heads in disagreement.

“You didn’t just ‘raise it a bit’, bro. You yelled at her like you yell at us sometimes. You told her to shut up, called her annoying, called the tiktoks she was trying to make you cheer up with stupid, and then stormed away,” Matt said, voice colored with his disapproval.

“Not just that, but you yelled at her like that in front of us. Not only did you completely disrespect her and treat her like shit when all she wanted to do was make you smile a bit, you embarrassed her, Chris.” Nick said sadly. He was disappointed with his youngest brother, but also saddened that you had been treated that way, by this brother of all people.

Chris swallowed dryly. To be honest, he hadn’t remembered exactly what he said to you. He knew he had been rude, but didn’t know he had went to that extreme, or that his brothers had even noticed. He was just at the end of his rope last night, but he knew that was no excuse.

“Did she make it home alright?” Chris asked quietly, feeling shame and embarrassment, similar to how he now knew you probably felt due to him last night.

“Yeah, I drove her back and made sure she got in safe,” Matt answers as he takes a sip of his water.

“Why did you drive her? Is her car okay?” Chris asked, making matt roll his eyes.

“Her car is fine, dumbass. She was crying and upset and I didn’t want her on the road like that,” Matt explains.

“She was crying?” Chris asks quietly, a lump forming in his own throat.

“Yeah, she was.” Nick says, leaving it at that.

Chris’s hands come up to his hair, pushing it all back nervously. He’d really fucked up. Not only was he mean, he actually had really yelled at you, embarrassed you, and made you cry to the point his brothers had to get you home because you were so upset. And he had been unaware, asleep in his room, not affected until this morning. He swallowed dryly, looking up to his brothers to see their sad gazes on him. They both felt bad for Chris. They knew he could be a good boyfriend. He was always great with you, so kind and sweet. Last night was an outlier in his track record of behavior regarding you.

“She’s getting an Uber here to get her car. She’ll be here in 5 minutes. I wasn’t supposed to tell you but you need to fix this. She’s too good to let go, Chris,” Nick tells him softly.

Chris feels some hope bubble up in his chest. As he turns to make his way to the front door, Matt calls out to him.

“Hey, but before you go out and fix this, just know, if you ever treat her like that again, I’ll kick your ass man. Love you, but I’ll kick your ass,” Matt tells him, laughing but his voice holding a serious edge to it. Nick nods in agreement.

Chris smiles despite the threat and nods.

“If I ever do some stupid shit like this again, that’s fine,” he tells them simply before rushing out to the front door.

As he walked up to wait by your car, your Uber pulled up. You sighed to yourself seeing Chris out front waiting for you, but honestly weren’t surprised. Nick always liked to try to fix things when he could, so it wasn’t a shock to know he had told Chris you were coming.

You got out of the Uber, thanking the driver before gently shutting their car door and waving as they drove away. Chris frowned as he took in your appearance. You were in sweats and an old sweatshirt of his you had from him borrowed long ago. It was one he knew you to wear when he couldn’t be there and you were sad, because you told him once it felt like a hug from him when you couldn’t get one yet. It hurt him to know he was the reason you had put it on. Your eyes were red rimmed and a pit puffy still from crying, making his heart ache. He’d never made you cry before, and to still see the after effects meant he had really made you cry.

“I’m just grabbing my car, is all,” you say softly and timidly, fiddling with the keys in your hand and looking down.

Chris frowns at your timid demeanor, but knows it’s his own fault.

“Can we talk?” He asks you softly

You look up and meet his eyes reluctantly, nodding and nervously biting your lip.

“Yeah,” you answer.

“Baby, I’m really sorry about last night. I wasn’t feeling good but that’s no excuse. I was a complete dick and mean to you and you didn’t deserve that,” Chris says, voice full of remorse and regret.

You frown and look down, playing nervously with your keys again.

“It’s okay, I should’ve left you alone when I realized you weren’t feeling good,” you say softly, but Chris shakes his head, not liking that you’re letting this go so easily when it’s clear to him that he really hurt you.

“It’s not okay. You were just trying to help me. I love you for that, always. I was an ass. That’s on me and me only. You’re never annoying, the tiktoks weren’t stupid, and I should have never told you to shut up. I’m really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me. It’ll never happen again, I promise you.”

A small smile graces your lips at the words from Chris. You could tell he was being genuine and truly felt horrible for how he had acted and treated you, and you had no doubt that he would do better and this wouldn’t happen again. Chris was always a man of his word, and meant what he said.

“I forgive you, just next time try to just talk to me. There’s no need to yell or storm off. We can just talk.” You explain, setting a boundary. Chris nods in agreement and holds his arms out to you, giving an opening for a hug. You walk up to him, wrapping your arms snugly around his waist, pressing your head against his chest. Chris wraps his arms around you tightly in return, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You stand in the driveway holding each other for a few moments before pulling back. Chris takes your hand in his softly and leads you up the drive and into their house. From the couch, you see Nick and Matt peak their heads up, looking at both of you and smiling when they see your calm expressions and hands held together.

“Everything okay, love birds?” Nick asks. You both nod and hug again.

“Gross.” Matt jokes, but smiles all the same.

You all laugh, happy and carefree.

“What do you want to do today?” Chris asks you as you walk further into the living room. You turn and look up at him.

“Could we lay in bed and cuddle? I didn’t sleep the best last night…” you voice trails off again, cheeks flushing at the admittance. Last night was full of tears and tossing and turning for you.

Chris’s face softens again and he tugs you to him, wrapping you up in his warm embrace again.

“Of course, baby, I’m so sorry. Let’s go to bed,” he whispers, kissing your head and letting you lead the way to his room.

You both get into his bed and under the covers quickly, and immediately you find yourself wrapped up in his embrace. Your head rested on his chest, his arms holding you around your waist as he tangled your legs together. You let out a soft and content sigh as you snuggled in, making Chris chuckle quietly.

“Go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up,” he says. You lean up to kiss his lips softly, both of you smiling into the kiss. You pull back and snuggle back down in his embrace, being lulled to sleep by a tune Chris was humming to you as he played with the ends of your hair.

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes✦

(Bros I'm so sorry, I've had the biggest fucking writer's block. I'm hoping some silly lil meme posts will make up for it until I can write something substantial, I'msosorry-)

Y/N: Some of us, I don’t wanna name names, give me a headache when they speak and its- Soap: Is it me?? Y/N: No. Graves: Is it me? Y/N: …it’s not Soap- --

Price: I’m gonna make you a soup. Gaz, delirious with the flu: I don’t wanna be a soup, Captain… Price: …right, how about I give you soup instead? Gaz: That’d be nicer. Price: Right. --

Soap: What the fuck knuckles is this? Valeria: *holding her hyper femme gf in her lap* She’s my girlfriend you intolerant shit. Soap: Whoa! Pump the hate brakes Fox & friends. I’m just surprised anyone would date you. Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. Y/N, on Valeria’s lap: You know that cartoon? Soap: No comment. Ghost: No, I think you should comment more, Johnny. Soap: NO. COMMENT. Moving on! Gaz: We’re gonna circle back to that. --

Graves: I think the term you’re searching for is ‘current captain’. Ghost: The words I’m searching for, I can’t say. Because there’s a rookie *motions to Soap* present. Soap: No no, say it. I can handle it. Ghost: You sure? Soap: Absolutely, L.T. Ghost: *looks at Graves* Fucking donkey lookin’ muppet bitch. Soap: Brutal blow, sir. Well done. --

Y/N: *comes in* Hey, Gaz, how old is your captain? Gaz: What? Y/N: No not like that…it is, it is like that. How old is he? I came into base, he asked if I needed anything to eat. I said ‘eat what’? Gaz: Okay, first of all, put my plate down and stop hitting on my captain! Y/N: Don’t get mad at me! I don’t even wanna be here. Y’all the ones that want me to be here. --

NPC: Ohhh if I weren’t a lady, I’d deck you! Fem!Y/N: Oh please. Try it and I’d have you on your back so fast you’d think you’re on a date. Ghost: *spits tea* Price, covered in tea: That was so unnecessary- --

Ghost: Mmph. Y/N: Dark room, avoidant, you seem tired despite sleeping for awhile…you wanna try and get out in the sun or do you just need to be in the sadness dungeon? Ghost: *holds up two fingers* Y/N: Would you like some tea for the sadness dungeon? Ghost: …Mhm. Y/N: Tea for the sad dragon coming up! Ghost: Mmph. (Aka “thank you”) Y/N: No problem! --

Y/N: Ya know sometimes there’s times in life where you just have to sit back and go, “ya know what? I’m proud of myself.” Gaz: Is this one of those times? Y/N: No- Soap: *wheeze* --

(Shibari reference)

Price: …alright, when I said we needed to restrain him in a way that ensured he couldn’t get out. This is not- Gaz: These are not military knots. Y/N: No, they aren’t. You all suggested knots that he would know how to get out of. You told me to get rid of that possibility. So, I did. Soap: He is tied…to the ceiling. Ghost: You kinky bitch. Y/N: *shrug* Price: Where did you even learn this? Y/N: That is for me and my daddy issues to know, sir. Don’t worry about it. Just wake him up so we can start interrogating him.

-

Graves: We can rule the world! Ghost: *turns to leave* Graves:: *watches him pull out something of Y/N’s* Graves: WH-YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FUCK MY WIFE Graves: GHOST. G H O S T Ghost: *leaves* --

Graves: Let me log into Twitter- WAIT, IS THAT GHOST’S DICK!?! Ghost: I fucked your wife. Graves: AGGHHHHHH- --

Medic!Y/N: Don’t torture yourself Ghost. *snips bandage* Medic!Y/N: That’s my job.~ Ghost, internally: Stayfocusedwecannot- --

Price: We’re you listening to me at all? Y/N: No I was fantasizing about beard burn. Price: Pardon? Y/N: Huh? --

Ghost: He died of natural causes. Gaz: You pushed him off the roof. Ghost: Gravity is natural. --

Y/N: Nuh Uh, no. I’m not doing it. I have self respect, and I will not stoop so low as to- Gaz: *brings out 100£.* Y/N: -oooooo*takes money* I’ll have it done in an hour. --

Soap, looking at Konig: That man is a tree. Y/N: Then I'm a fucking squirrel. Soap: On the hunt for nuts then? Y/N: Famished for them. Ghost: Why do I sit with you two...

[smrtnik07]

librarians redesigned!!! by me!!! :)

the designs are free to use, i used this as a character design exercise for myself while recovering from carpal tunnel issues! read more for all the individual designs + me ranting :*

first off roland!! i included an angelica in here, i designed her before him, shes very triangular to me.. maybe a bit more messed up than roland tells us about, he is a biased narrator afterall. anyways i wanted his design to match hers nicely, so hes like a rounded square type of guy... i think projmoon designed him to be Just A Guy intentionally, so i played into it. overall the least interesting design of the bunch imo. its on purpose :)

angela !!! my baby :) an important thing here is her bangs. i dont want her hair to be able to recover from however many years she spent with the hard middle part in lobcorp, i think its cute to incorporate it still. swoopy, fluffy hair for her! and the clothes are just a bit more casual idk the librarian uniforms were kinda boring and stiff to me, as much as it does go with her character.. if u wanna be human u gotta experience the joy of sweatpants or whatever. also i didnt add color but i dont want her to be fully white<3 or fully clear skinned.. give her sunspots on her face. she finally gets to experience sun. :)

guess ill go in order of appearance lol. malkuth! whats the headband for if it doesnt keep anything out of her face!! since shes a bit more active than some of her colleagues, i also gave her a ponytail(its also for the silhouette...) also gave her some chubbier thighs.. also maybe a butler-esque coat, at least to me; i just made it a bit more form fitting than the original. playing into her personality or whatever. shes cute.. remember to take deep breaths!!

yesod!! i want to play into the skin issues a bit more, i still removed his gloves but i gave him a poncho, not just for the square silhouette im trying to build but for more coverage. also emo hair over eyes was funny. also wide flare pants for you, boy. just very square and put together in general

hod! this ones my favorite (i even cared enough to give her a pattern on that skirt!!) it was kinda bugging me how in the artbook i couldnt tell who was writing because hod's, malkuth's, and tiphereth's colors are so similar. so hod is pink now, and malkuth a bit more orange. i kinda went for a romantic poet thing here, dunno how much that worked out, but i think out of everyone you can tell shes the literature girl. gave her pigtails !! theyre cute :> also since i removed the coat decoration off of angela, i gave part of it to hod in the bottom of her coat :). cute and round!

netzach is a very strange man to me.. ellipse shape and loose fitting clothes for u. if i saw him irl i wouldnt approach him. not to say i dont like him as a character, i love him, but i want him to look like a depressed guy who would pick up art as a hobby to distract himself and it works. bro is just surviving out there. also gave him comfy clothes to make the surviving easier, down to the shoes and wide, id assume non-denim pants - maybe cotton? maybe sweatpants that dont fit around the ankle? who knows.

tiphereth!! since she's like the teen girl of the group i gave her a skater dress, converse, and a tied coat around her waist.. like how i used to wear as a teen when i was being a hater and recovering from a death in the family that changed my entire life (im still a teen ... 9 more days till im 20 as of posting this). also gave her fishnets i think she would like that. i imagine she would get headaches bc of those dumb braids on her head<3 or maybe bc her coworkers are kinda dumb<3

gebura :) round face, reverse triangle shaped body.. like a true butch lesbian stereotype.. i decided a leather jacket, docs and pants i see metalheads wear would fit her! red leather jacket, of course. also gave her spiky hair just like projmoon did<3 my favorite detail here are the eyebrows, i think their shape is rlly neat! nvm i think its just that gebura is rlly neat. anyways the eyebrows fit her

chesed my boy.. idk i just saw him and hit him with the transmasc beam and gave him , as the kids say, wh0re eyes. i wanted him to have rounder hips and just be round in general. turtleneck and cardigan combo also, i think he would like wearing that. also somewhat curlier hair, or at least wavy would do him well! and a tote bag, i dont doubt that he would go out to read in coffee shops if he could - so he gets a tote bag to carry his sociology books. i want him to look like he would give the warmest, comfiest hugs and be friend shaped

binah!! this one was the most challenging, trying to find the right place for the colors - to not use too little or too much yellow. i still dont think i got it right but this is as close as im getting. long face, long nose, siren-ish eyes.. messed up in the head bird lady that speaks like hannibal! i also dont think a dress really suits her so i opted for wide pants and a fancy black button up .. maybe angela styled her, who knows. also black fingertips which is a trait i like to give the arbiters (including an oc).. just my own little consistency thing i like to do :)

hi grandpa! ok for hokma i dont think the changes are that big? i gave him O shaped legs and his sword thing i turned into a walking cane, gave him a vest (didnt want to opt for a corset but i think he would enjoy the back support for proper posture) . also gave him a mild gradient from darker gray to lighter gray, since he IS the gray part of the ABC trio. gave him salt and pepper hair and an older face. forgot to draw it, but i wanted to give him a silicone tip for the sword so it doesnt dull out, which he can take off when recieving guests

honorary mention to go along with the angelica i mentioned with roland, i mildly changed up her twin(k) brother. i gave argalia and angie the same hair but mirrored, his a bit more curly and hers a bit more spikey, his face a bit more edgy, hers a bit rounder and kinder. not much else to say here, i liked his design as is, but wanted to add him here :)

[octuscle]

Every Friday Night

What do you give someone who actually has everything? My friend Daniel is celebrating his 40th birthday next Saturday. We've been inseparable since high school. By his own admission, he's had a good life: he's a fairly successful doctor, most people appreciate his pleasant if somewhat reserved nature, and time has only given him the occasional gray hair, a slight tummy and shallow laugh lines on his gentle face.

Although he has had to make some sacrifices over the years to achieve his professional and social status, he admits that it has all been worth it. Until now, I always believed that too. What reason did I have not to? Until we had perhaps one or two too many glasses of wine yesterday. The wine loosened his tongue. And Daniel said wistfully that he regretted not having a more rebellious youth.

Shit, I've had a bit too much wine myself… I'm afraid I've been up to some shenanigans. At least I have a Chronivac app on my phone and I get text messages that my subscription is activated. And there's a countdown. Shit, I have a bad headache. And no idea what's going on.

Daniel calls me and asks me what the calendar entry is for Friday evening. It says "Gym" in the calendar. Yeah, right. Gym. Friday night. Isn't that what we always do? I'm a bit confused. Daniel too. "Yes, of course!" he says. Gym on Friday. As always. Will I pick him up? For some reason, I tell him to meet me at the bus stop. Sure, says Daniel. We haven't taken the bus since school days.

Friday evening. It feels normal to meet Daniel at the bus stop. We're both still wearing our casual business outfits from the office. And a sports bag with us. When was the last time I went to the gym? Shit, last Friday of course. We go every Friday. At least. Daniel greets me with a fist bump and offers me a cigarette. Neither of us smoke.

When the bus arrives, Daniel goes straight through to the back. He sits down in the last row with his legs apart and starts rolling a fag. I sit down next to him. Damn, he smells of sweat and tobacco. i start playing with my cell phone. since when do i have a tiktok account? A guy gives me tips on taking Trenbolone. Daniel looks at my screen, grabs my cock and says that the stuff makes me a muscle whore and shrinks my balls. i ask him why that's a problem. We laugh. The people around us roll their eyes. The bus arrives at our station. As we walk to the exit, Dan lights his cigarette. Before we're even off the bus, I take it out of his mouth and take a deep drag. Fuck the smoking ban!

I think the gym sucks, but Dan really wanted to train here. The other guys are pumping iron in our neighborhood. It's closer and you can go straight to the pub with the lads afterwards. But Dan is obsessed with the big boys. He really wants to become a freak. And shit, we're bros. I have to go with him. And to be honest, I totally dig his gym acne. I bet he's going to be a freak.

Training was like, totally lit, dude! The big boys have our backs all the way, major props. That's so dope. But Dan, he's such a poser, always flexing with pics and posts. And TikTok, non-stop! But man, he's already got a squad of followers. Now we're heading to the pub to meet up with the boys, but we're stuck on this darn bus for another freakin' half hour. The shower situation is a total bummer anyways. A quick spray of Axe under the pits, a dab of wax in the hair – good to go! Hey, Dan nailed it with the fresh cut, maybe I should chop mine off too.

Saturday morning. I feel a bit like I've been run over by a bus. In general… Buses. Shit, what have I been dreaming about buses? Tonight is Daniel's birthday party. He's celebrating at the Savoy. Cocktails at the bar, dinner at the grill… I still have to get my tuxedo from the cleaners. And I still need a present… Stop, wait… Didn't I already give him a present?

The birthday party was nice. A bit stiff. At around 02:00, we sit at the bar for one last drink. And Daniel asks me if I can remember last night. Funny, I have no idea what I did. Neither does he.

Thursday evening I receive a message via WhatsApp. Unknown number. We are supposed to pick up our stuff tomorrow at 16:00. Same place as usual. I have no idea what it's about. Daniel calls me to say that someone has told him that we still owe him 100 pounds for some stuff and that we should fucking bring it tomorrow. We both have no idea what it's about…

I get another message at midday on Friday. I ask if we can bring the appointment forward to 5pm. It's not my new iPhone. It's an old scratched device with a cracked display. I reply: "I'm sorry, but we're still at the gym until 18:00. Unfortunately, I can't make it any earlier." My fingers are moving as if remote-controlled. And now I have to go. The disco-poser biceps don't pump up by themselves.

Yo, so check it out, Dan's out here thinking he's this mega athlete, but homeboy be puffin' on them cancer sticks like there's no tomorrow, I'm talkin' 'bout 10 to 15 smokes a day? Psshh, child's play! Dan be double dosin' that, like he's tryna set the world record for most Marlboros inhaled in 24 hours or somethin'. And then, to top it off, dude's pullin' shady moves like stealin' cash from his pops just to fund his steroid stash! Man, I'm grindin' my butt off every night at the slaughterhouse just to keep up with them gym beasts, and this dude be relyin' on his daddy's wallet? Nah man, he gotta get a real job! Then, as if things couldn't get any wilder, my boy Liam starts talkin' 'bout Tren, that hardcore juice that supposedly turns you into a freakin' beast. I've heard stories, man, dudes growin' extra body parts and all! But me and Dan, we playin' it safe, stickin' to our old school supps for now. Ain't nobody tryna grow a third nipple just yet, you feel me?

I swear, Dan is like a walking perfume factory of pure musk. If he just lifts his arm, he's got every dude and babe in the gym drooling over him. Meanwhile, I'm just here, living my best life at all times. And now, the tattoo sesh with the artist is a no-go. Total bummer. I was so stoked to get my full-on sleeve inked up tomorrow evening. It's just way cooler to flex those guns in a tank at the club, you know? I love flaunting my hard-earned biceps. Gotta keep grinding, you feel me?

I slept naked tonight. And as rumpled as my bed is, I had wild dreams. I've got a movie tear again. My last memory was of strange messages I received on someone else's cell phone. When I walk into the bathroom, my heart almost stops. I have a bloody tattoo on my forearm! I raise my arm to see if there are any more. Dude! Eileen usually epilates my armpits every two weeks. Where did the bush under my arms come from? And why does it smell like I haven't showered for three weeks? I really need to take a shower. Although I have an urgent urge to go to the gym again straight away. That rarely happens. My inner bastard usually wins out at the weekend. And if I'm motivated, I should take advantage of it. I could ask Daniel if he fancies a game of squash at the club, I think to myself as I soap up. When I get out of the shower, I get a message from Daniel. He asks me if I have any idea where his tattoo came from. And whether I fancy a game of squash at the club.

I have no idea what's happening to us. On the one hand, I feel much fitter than I did a few weeks ago. On the other hand, Daniel and I have both started smoking. And we got tattoos. Obviously in a drunken stupor. At the age of 40! Who does that? I mean, Daniel seems so much more relaxed. At work, in his private life. And that pays off. He's never received so much positive feedback… And it's hardly any different for me. I feel so much more agile. And shit, I think about sex all the time. And mostly sex with Daniel.

On Thursdays I somehow always start to get restless. I used to primarily look forward to the week being over. But now I'm looking forward to the weekend starting. Kind of like it used to be. At school or university. And Saturdays and Sundays aren't much different than they were a month or two ago. And I can't remember the last few Fridays for the life of me. And the funny thing is that Daniel obviously feels the same way. It's almost Friday morning when I get a new message from the same number as last week. "Ive got a hell of a lot of m1y on u. Dont let meh down. And if u W, ill owe u 1". I really have no idea what that means. For some reason I save the number under "Liam".

Normally "casual friday" for me means wearing chinos with a blazer. Sometimes with just a white t-shirt underneath. But usually with a button-down shirt. Today I'm wearing a sweat suit with a hoodie top under a down vest. The neckline of the tank top underneath is so low that you can see the gap between my pecs. I actually didn't think about it. It just felt right. And no one in the office questioned it. On the contrary, I get a lot of compliments. My boss personally praises my tight ass. At 3:00 pm I get a message from Daniel: "Dude, were r u? fite starts @ 20:00. Didnt we want 2 trin beforehand? n da photo shoot is b4 tht 2!" I call him and ask him what that shit means. He can't remember any message he's supposed to have sent me. But the fact is that I have to go now, even if I still have no idea where I'm going or why.

Oh my god, this night is straight up LIT AF! Had a sick sesh at training with my ride-or-die homie. Then my first presser, ya boy's the ultimate underdog for this brawl. Cameras flashing like crazy. And then the showdown. Damn, your boy's killin' it. But KO in round two? No one saw that coming. Except Liam, he had faith. Dan's hating, thinking it's all fake. He's just salty. Bros gonna hate, but we're tight. Now we're popping bottles for the win. Liam's shouting that tonight's on him. We ain't gotta be told twice, let's partyyyy!

I could swear my nose looks like it's been broken in more than one fight. Somehow I remember boxing matches from the past. But when? At university? I was more of a debating and astronomy club kind of guy. Shit, Daniel and I need a new sports club. This stuffy country club is for wimps. Yes, we're 40 years old. But fit as fuck. There may be customers and colleagues who turn up their noses at us because of our tattoos. But hey, we weren't born with a silver spoon in our mouths. We've fought for everything we've achieved. And Dan and I agree that we've been really successful.

Yes, we like our jobs. And we're both good at it. But real life starts on Friday afternoon. Damn, you can bet your life on it!

[obsidinoir]

a good thing

MDNI 18+

gojo x y/n, female y/n, angst

gojo had always been a prideful person. his ego could move mountains and he'd still have some left to give everyone a headache. but his ego was the reason he lost you, the reason he could no longer sleep at night, the reason he drowned himself with alcohol every night because he made a mistake he couldn't undo. it was his fault he lost you.

"you don't understand man... it's my fault I'm suffering," gojo mumbled to geto one night when they were out for drinks.

"but you have to stop, you're not solving anything when you're drowning yourself with alcohol," geto chastised while he pulled away a glass of alcohol from gojo's hand, "tell me what happened bro, you haven't told anyone what happened between you and y/n."

"y/n...she was my everything and I fucked it all up..." he wailed and reached to snatch back his glass. geto pushed him away and stared at him expectedly. gojo sighed and began...

it was during a time when he was super busy. he came back from work super tired. as usual, you were up waiting for him but you got tired and fell asleep on the couch. he didn't know why he was irritable but seeing you on the couch made him angry. Why can't you take care of yourself? Why did you sleep in the cold when you know damn well you catch colds easily? Why do you still tolerate him...

with his mind racing, he woke you up and started yelling at you. you woke up confused and tried to calm him down but that fueled his anger. he further raised his voice, knowingly since you told him you hate arguing with someone who shouts at you. even still, he got mad at you and stormed off.

he took a shower to cool off and by the time he got off, he found you seated on the bed. he saw how crestfallen you were, how confused you were and he got fired up again. but before he could tell you off again, you meekly asked him...

"can we break up?"

his whole world came to a stop. he begged you to tell him why you wanted to break up but you were ready for this conversation.

"i don't like being yelled at. i don't like being chastised or being scolded as if I can't take care of myself. i'm done being a burden to you because this isn't the first time."

his heart stopped. what did you mean by this isn't the first time? you didn't want to explain further. you had packed all your essentials before he got out of the shower. you walked out of the apartment and out of his life without any other words.

he searched in his mind how many times he shouted at you, how many times he yelled at you for everything you'd done. he realised how much work was stressing him and that whole time he was busy, he was taking it out on you. he conveniently forgot about it every time because it felt like therapy. and now he's suffering because he lost a good thing, he lost you...

back to the present, geto was shocked and he gave gojo back his glass and poured a glass for himself. he couldn't say anymore, it was indeed all his fault. both of them drank that night and went on their separate ways. just like clockwork gojo would text you. telling you that he was drunk, that he wants you back, that he should've been better, he'll get help and all he needs is you and he'd call you and convey the same message.

you'd pick up and hear him ramble and cry. he begged for forgiveness and cried himself to sleep. secretly you liked his grovelling. he sounded so pretty when he cried.

okay so idk where I was headed with this but I wanted to try out some angst writing hehe

give me feedback fr ♡

[intynidad]

BRO I LOVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART THE OTOME GAME AU, My fav is Loner!! I mean I love masochists so maybe that explains it 🥸 But your writing is so 👩‍🍳👌 Please keep writing more Otome Game Au!! I would also like to see more of your other Yandere work!! ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

we love the loner in this household he is our pathetic little mew mew 

let's give them a little bit of protagonism shall we 

tw: yandere stuff, kidnapping, forced kissing, loner being a creep

Your head throbs with pain,

...

your head throbs with intense pain

everything is blurry and you don't remember anything, to be honest 

The pounding headache remains a constant torment, its grip on your consciousness unyielding.

As you reluctantly open your eyes,

a figure emerges in the distance,

their presence both alarming and unsettling.

Despite their apparent freedom, their trembling demeanor raises questions,

adding to the enigmatic atmosphere that surrounds you.

“you*huh* are awake” Even though you weren't able to see their face you could see them shaking and breathing heavily

“Who are y-” Before you could even start to wonder what was happening or ask who this person is, they launch are you putting their hands around your throat, the force and pressure weren't enough to choke you but the grab they had on your neck pin you in place

“your skin is so soft, I can barely contain myself!- I just- I want-” their rambling was cut short by the opening your mouth with one of their fingers and introducing their tongue inside of it 

you could feel their saliva drip through your mouth into the floor of whatever place you were kept

they swirl their tongue with ferocity, and you could for sure feel small vibrations of moaning travel through your troat.

you acted on instinct and bite their finger with all your force, luckily (for them) they managed to take out their finger on time but judging by the metallic taste that lingered in your mouth you could tell that you did make some damage.

they bend in pain, and you used your new freedom to give them a kick in the stomach while they were on the floor.

“get away from me you creep!”, you said while running away, luckily (for you) the door of whatever warehouse you were trapped in was unlocked and you run, and run without looking back

…

while you run away, your captor was clutching their stomach in pain but the face they were making under the mask was everything but painful.

the heavy breathing and the shivering were just for mere excitement

they discarded their mask to the floor and let out a loud moan

they were shaking, they got to kiss you!

and oh the names you call them send a pulsating shock through their spine to their underparts!

they started to undress and pinch their nipples until they were an angry red

the decision to leave you untied was surely a great idea, they will most likely do the same the next time!

[billthedrake]

THE SALES GUY

Business travel is OK, until it's not.

Thunderstorms back east had cancelled one flight and seriously delayed another. Even with the time difference, it was almost 9 when we landed in Denver. At least Carson and I had status and were upgraded to business class. We were the first off the plane, rolling our business carry ons behind us through the airport, making our way toward the rental car area.

Carson Wells is one of the sales guys in our group. The dude's young, about 30, but he's good at his job and moreover has a crazy ambition. It's why he was paired with me on a prospect this big.

I'll be honest, I used to hate the folks in Sales. I felt like we did the work, and they cashed in their commission checks. And Carson was the very type who annoyed the crap out of me. Fratty, capable only of small talk, nice almost to the point of seeming fake. But times like this I was grateful I was paired with him: the guy didn't get stressed out about travel hiccups.

"I love Denver, man," he said in a tone that would sound chipper if it weren't such a masculine bro kind of voice. "Shame we don't have the time to go hiking or anything while we're out here."

For some reason, I was in the mood for Wells' small talk. "You into outdoor sports? I pictured you as more a country club guy," I teased.

"That too," Carson said as he flashed his smile. Pearly white teeth, fucking perfectly formed dimples, well trimmed blondish-brown beard. Yeah, one reason my defenses were down was because Carson Wells was stunningly cute and stunningly hot.

Down boy, I thought to myself. It's not like my dick was chubbing or anything, but I knew how to be a professional at work, and with colleagues. Even ones as hot as Carson. Besides, the dude was grade-A hetero.

Carson had reserved the car and we strutted right over to pick up the key. Of course, Carson went for an upgraded model. I thought of lecturing him about costs, but figured I'd let his manager deal with that headache. Besides, if we reeled this big fish in, no one would give a fuck how much Carson ran up on his business credit card this trip.

We were both tired from the long day and once we checked into the hotel it was time to go to our respective rooms and call it a night.

If you've seen one Marriott you've seen them all. At least this one had a good view of the mountains, though it would be morning before I'd have time to appreciate it. For now, I undressed and brushed my teeth and slipped into bed. I didn't even have my daily masturbation time, I was so tired.

***

The presentation the next day went well. Really well. Carson brought the dynamic sales pitch, and I brought the gravitas. Of course we didn't know what they'd decide yet, but you sometimes get a vibe from a prospect, and that vibe was positive.

Carson was getting it too. We stopped at a trendy restaurant near our hotel that was half steak house, half small plate kind of place. Carson joked it was the kind of place he'd take chicks to if he wanted to impress them. Honestly, I didn't care where we ate. I don't eat a lot on the day of a sales call, and now my appetite was catching up with me.

"I think this calls for the good stuff," Carson announced as he strutted up to the bar, me a couple paces behind. God, he was so sexy in that post-pitch mode, his 5'11" body filling out his trim-cut tailored suit just right, and those thick thighs leading up to an amazing ass...

"Best bourbon you have," he asked the bartender. Then, he flashed those dimples as he turned to me. "Oh I forgot, you gay guys don't drink bourbon, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "It sounds like you're scripting the next HR compliance video, Wells."

He chuckled. "Is that a yes or no, Boss?" I technically wasn't his boss, but I was an officer and somehow Boss had become his playful nickname for me.

"Sure," I said, adding that the prospect was ultimately gonna pay for this round.

"Damn straight," Carson grinned, his green eyes twinkling.

We sat the bar, sipping some pretty damn amazing whiskey. Carson had his legs spread, effortlessly manspreading. I didn't stare or scope him out or anything, but let's say I enjoyed the view.

Our conversation was all business as our food arrived, and even as we ordered another drink.

"Maybe grab another back at the hotel bar?" he asked as we nearly finished that round. It was getting dark out but still wasn't too late. "I'm in the mood to celebrate."

I nodded, signalling for the check. "Sounds good. Only we haven't won the client yet."

"We're gonna win 'em, Bill. You know it, too."

I shrugged. "Yeah," I conceded.

Carson laughed. "Didn't think you'd be so superstitious."

I nudged my leg against his. Hopefully more a buddy nudge than a flirty one, but the booze was loosening me up. "I'm surprised you're not, Wells."

We paid up and made our way back to the boring bar at our boring hotel. It felt great to unwind there. I knew Carson was eager to have more than one other drink, and I wouldn't mind getting a little tight myself. It had been a tough week.

"You're buying this time, Boss," he said. "Just don't order me some well-liquor shit."

I was tempted to get him a cheap domestic beer, just for being a smart ass, but ended up splurging on another top-shelf bourbon.

"Here's to the Dream Team," he toasted as we clinked our glasses. We were just about the only ones in the bar area, seated on one of the couches.

"You did great, man," I said.

He smiled again. Fuck, those pearly whites. "Man, that's probably the first time you've ever thrown me a compliment."

"No it isn't..." I objected. Now that I was in a managerial role, I knew it was my job to provide positive feedback to everyone on my team.

"For real," he said, with a smile that said he wasn't too upset. Or maybe Carson was just being his frat-boy nice. "You're kind of intense, Boss."

"Oh," I said. Not sure what to make of it. Though Carson wasn't the first person with that opinion of me.

He nodded. "I'm gonna say something that's not HR-approved... but you've mellowed out a lot since you broke up with Rob."

Rob was my ex-husband. I still couldn't tell if it ended amicably or bitterly. But it had been a big shift in my life. "It was a divorce," I corrected Carson.

"Yeah, divorce. Sorry. I know that was an asshole thing to say. It's just, well, you seem happier now. I hope you are, Bill."

Something about his sincerity, combined with the booze, had me opening up unexpectedly. "There's good and bad," I replied in a measured way. "But the freedom is nicer than I expected."

Carson nudged my knee with his, in what I would have guessed was a flirtation, and gave ne a "you dog" kind of look. "I bet," he smirked. Then he got an impish look on his cute face. "Maybe I shouldn't admit this to you, man, but I sometimes have fun with guys."

I gulped. This was major HR-inappropriate territory. "Is that right?" I asked with my best poker face.

The man nodded. The sexual part of my brain was just thinking how incredibly fuckable my coworker was. His voice made him even hotter, I thought. "Not the whole nine yards like you gay guys, but yeah..."

"How do you know what I do in bed?" I had to tease.

He laughed and shrugeed. Again, flashing that killer smile. "You got me there, Boss. Guess I shouldn't make assumptions." We paused and, fuck, our eyes met, like really met. I wasn't imagining it: Carson Wells was fucking flirting with me. "Can I trust you with this, man?" he asked.

I gave some motion of my hand that was some combo of crossing my heart and scout's honor.

He bit his lip nervously, playfully, and then lowered his voice to almost a whisper. "Um, yeah, I'm into sucking a guy's dick." He blushed as he said it, but I had to be impressed by how forthright he was. It was the last thing I expected from Carson's mouth. His nervousness carried him on. "I mean, just the feel of a hard cock in my mouth.... it's wild, kind of a taboo you know for a guy like me."

"I can imagine," I said. Not wanting to either encourage or discourage Carson. My dick was getting rock hard in my suit. And there was no way it was going down soon.

"Yeah," Carson beamed, glad I wasn't judging him or giving him any flak for his bi streak. "I mean it's crazy, I don't even need my dick sucked or anything, just that act is enough to get me going, you know?"

I nodded but replied. "Not exactly, Carson. I guess I'm more a receiving is better than giving kind of guy," I joked.

"Did Rob do that for you?" he asked.

This was definitely inappropriate conversation. But fuck it. "That and more," I replied. "Rob was a big ol' bottom."

"Hot," Carson said. There was something weird about our dynamic now. Buddy-buddy, but also like lusty. Carson took a sip of bourbon, but he was nearing the bottom of his glass. "Another round, Boss?"

I held mine up and swirled the last half centimeter of brown liquid in the rocks glass. "I shouldn't, man." I was already pretty buzzed.

"Come on," he urged. "We're the fucking Dream Team."

I caved and nodded. If my boner was riding a good ridge in my trousers it downright throbbed watching Carson's hot suited body get up and strut over to the bar. I needed to find some self control, in case Wells was actually gonna proposition me. Maybe he just wanted someone to talk to about his bi side. Or maybe he liked teasing me as an ego boost.

He was all smiles when he came back with two more drinks. We clinked glasses and had our first sips. "To a killer day," he smirked.

"Yep," I said. I wasn't drunk at least. But I was starting to feel really nice.

He looked around. I thought he was just idly checking out our environment, but I realized he was seeing if the coast was clear. His eyes flitted back to my crotch.

"You look like you're packing a lot down there, Boss," he said. That sexual edge somehow changing his frat-bro voice.

"Sorry," I muttered. Trying to cross my legs.

"Don't hide it, man," he urged. "No one can see it from a distance, not in those pants."

I blushed as I spread my legs again, manspreading as I faced this hunky sales guy. This was so wild and wrong, but my dick was rock hard.

"Nice boner, Boss," he smirked.

"Thanks," I said. Maybe I thought if I limited my words there'd be less cause to get me fired.

"How big is it?" he asked.

"How big?" I chuckled. Wells was the last dude I imagined to be asking me for my dick size. "7 and a half," I replied. "I've not measured the width."

"It's pretty thick," Carson put out there, his eyes back on my boner. "But not too fat to suck."

"Jesus," I exhaled.

Carson's green eyes twinkled. "Am I getting you worked up, Boss?" Jesus, he loved flirting all right.

"You know you are, damnit."

"This is just between us, right?" he clarified.

"It better be," I hissed. "Not how I expected this trip to go..."

"You upset?" he felt me out.

"Depends on if I'm thinking with my brain or my dick," I answered honestly.

That made Carson smile. "How bout your dick?"

"My dick wants to get sucked," I said bluntly.

Carson nodded, almost serious, maybe the reality was making him less chipper. "Let's do this, Bill," he grunted and tossed back of the liquor, like he was building up courage.

I didn't do mine like a frat boy shot, but sipped a good amount of the remainder and set the glass down before standing up, just hoping my erection wasn't too obvious.

I couldn't believe this was actually gonna happen. Carson didn't seem to believe it either. We rode the elevator silently, almost scared to look at one another. Then he followed me to my room.

My heart pounded, because I didn't know how this was actually going to go down. I didn't want anything messy with my coworker - hell, I'd probably be the senior investment guy brought in for half of Wells's prospects - but it was probably too late for that.

I tried to think of how this would go down. For a half minute, a part deep in my brain wanted to put a stop to this. But as I walked to where our rooms were, adjacent to one another, I stopped at mine and Carson looked at me with a look of horny expectation behind his straight-bro smile. I tapped the key card and ushered him inside.

The thing that helped my conscience somehow was that Wells didn't kiss me or make any move to make out with me. Like he'd had some practice he crouched in front of me, looking incredible in his slim-cut suit and gym-toned build, wasting no time reaching forward ot unbuckle my nelt. This wasn't gonna be a messy office place romance, this was just going to be a blowjob. As no-strings as they get.

"Fuck!" I hissed as the zipper came down and Carson tugged my boxer briefs below my hard prick. My dick jerked to attention, harder than I recall it ever being. This felt naughty and sexual in a way that half made me glad to be a divorced man.

"You sold yourself short, Boss," Carson teased as he ran his finger up and down my bone. "You got an amazing cock."

And like that, the sales guy was taking me into his mouth.

This wasn't Carson's first dick. It wasn't his fifth. The dude wasn't lying, he loved sucking cock, and it was clear he'd had some practice. I just stood there, hands on my hips and let him do his stuff. I got off on the mind-fuck of co-worker sex and the straight-dude fantasy come to life. I mean, Carson Wells clearly wasn't 100% straight but he was as close as I'd get to having a hetero guy blow me.

And the fact he loved this, really loved this, meant I was getting quality head. Regular, half-suction mouth strokes up and down about four or five inches of my cock, with increasing base.

"It's not gonna take me long," I warned him. If it hadn't been for the bourbon I would have nutted already. Wells was that good.

He was going for it now, kind of twisting the base of my cock with his fist as he bobbed more frantically. I placed my hand on the top of his skull, and that got an excited, deep moan from the guy. I started small thrusts timed with his sucking. Nothing too intense, I'm not an asshole. But I was getting real close, and my excitement was pushing me over that finish line.

"Oh shit! Oh fuck!" I hissed, trying not to be too loud. My cum was incredible. Maybe because Carson did this sucking thing all through my ejaculation that just added to the pleasure. My knees buckled a little.

I was finally was spent, and Carson gave one final lick at the tip before pulling back. "That was hot, Boss," he hissed, mouth full of cum and saliva.

"Damn... it was, man." I looked down. "Need me to get you off?" Once I cum I'm usually out of sex mode. But I know how to take care of a guy's needs.

He shook his head as he stood up. For real, Carson had a hardon riding up his suit pants. Not as big as mine but showing a good tent. "Nah, I'm good... I'm gonna go back to my room now, if that's OK."

It wasn't awkward as it seemed for some reason. Maybe because my swimmers were in Carson's belly now. "Yeah, that's fine... if you're sure." I felt a little guilty for the no-recip thing. But not too guilty, I suppose.

He flashed a grin. "Yeah, I'm sure. See ya bright and early tomorrow?"

"Yeah," I nodded, tucking back in and pulling up my trousers. "Have a good night, Wells. And thanks again." I was tipsy but maybe sobering up some now.

"My pleasure, Boss," he said. He paused and looked at me, and God I half expected a kiss to come right then. But he patted my arm and then walked past to the door. And left me in my room.

"Fuck!" I growled, and had to laugh at how crazy it was I just let that happen. I knew I'd made a terrible mistake, but Carson seemed game to make it with me. And I knew if I had that chance, I'd make it again.

[thrashkink-coven]

Lucifer has been such an incredible presence in my life when it comes to addiction.

I am disabled and suffer from chronic nerve pain and debilitating migraines that cause paralysis and other not so fun things. Most days weed is the only thing that can bring me relief. The painkilling drugs have helped a bit, but weed is the only substance I’ve found that can actually ease the pain almost instantly. Because of that I have become heavily addicted to weed. There’s really no way for me to function without it. Or maybe there is, I wouldn’t know because I have an active addition. I don’t want to stop smoking weed, and unless it’s posing an immediate threat to my health, I probably never will.

I can be completely aware of how heavily I rely on my addiction whilst still being addicted. Weed is medicine for me, but I also know that sometimes I smoke just because, not because I’m in pain or anything, but because I’m just bored. I know that I don’t need to constantly be using weed as medicine to be allowed to just enjoy it, and others in my same situation may not consider it an addiction, but I do and I’m at peace with that. I can confidently say I am addicted to weed.

Lucifer helped me come to terms with the reality of my situation. Everyone is addicted to something, using some kind of substance or drug to cope with this sick fuck of a world we live in. Being addicted is not a moral dilemma, it doesn’t make you a bad person, and being sober doesn’t make you a good person. The problem is not with the reality of needing something, the problem is with letting that indulgence get to the point of causing me real harm.

There have been times when I’ve been being so hard on myself, actively trying to cut back or quit, putting myself through unnecessary nerve pain, and migraines because I feel “bad” about giving into that urge. It makes me feel weak, like I’m not in control of myself, and Lucifer has come to me and been like

“Bro… lmao you’re fine. Smoke a joint and chill out, you deserve it today. This isn’t causing you harm right now, it’s okay. You’re not doing anything bad. Im here to tell you that this is okay.”

And, at the very same time, there have been days when I’ve smoked 5 or 7 a day, scraping the last scraps of weed together to smoke a pathetic bowl from a dirty ass pipe, and Lucifer has come to me and been like

“Bro, it’s time to take a break. Your tongue is caked white from the constant cotton mouth. Your throat is sore and inflamed. You’re dizzy, your eyes are glazed over. You feel dumb. You can’t think. Your smoking is actively giving you an even worse headache. You’re not even getting high any more. It’s time to stop.”

and … I’m so fucking grateful for that. There’s a very human tendency to either be super strict with myself to the point of borderline self harm or not give a fuck and let myself indulge to the point of hurting myself. Lucifer has always been the one to keep me in line respectfully, to say “you can do this thing if it makes you feel good, but I will not let you do it to the point of making you feel bad.”

I love how understanding he is of the human condition. He doesn’t pressure me to be perfect or scold me when I’m doing bad. He just presents the facts the way it is, without judgement or disappointment. Hey, you’re slipping, we need to get it back together. Hey, you’re doing fine, allow yourself to relax for a bit. Life is a balancing act. If we keep in check with ourselves and we’ll be just fine.

Thank you infinitely, Lucifer. I know Im in good hands when Im with you.

[yellowloid]

my experience at am's show (3arena, dublin, 15/10/2023)

starting to write this post while stuck waiting at the airport, after somehow managing to get rid of my sleep deprivation headache through an overpriced orange juice. (edit: it's been two days and i'm stuck at home with a cold and it's all their fault) (jk) (i mean i guess that's giving me an incentive to finish writing this post so yknow. silver linings)

i'm sorry in advance because i know this is gonna be super long (and probably less cheerful than my other recap posts because i'm opinionated) but i swear i'm gonna try and not be insufferable (said as i obviously lie)

• SO let's start off by saying that we made it right in time for the start of miles' set (we were looking for our seats as he came on stage) and thank god because i was shitting myself and almost throwing up thinking we were gonna be late bc the bus we were supposed to take never showed up and we had to take another one. we literally SPRINTED up the stairs once we were in and heard he was coming up

• seeing miles open for them was moral compensation for his milan concert that i wasn't able to attend despite having tickets in 2022

• he had a very short time slot as usual with opening bands :/ and unfortunately that led to everything feeling a bit rushed :( like i'm not sure how he's been playing songs like cry on my guitar or the wonder at his latest gigs but they were SO DAMN FAST like please slow down i want to let my fav omb song sink in 😭

• still i absolutely LOVED his set, especially colour of the trap (which was AMAZING live), rearrange, come closer and inhaler. his energy was through the roof, he was literally buzzing and if you can already see how much he loves performing via video, it absolutely shines through when you see it live like. bro's literally a ball of light and energy and like. the sun personified l??? he's got so much charisma and a great stage presence. he was all smiles and really really tried to get the crowd hyped. loved him loved his set

• speaking of the crowd. it was absolute bullshit they had ZERO idea how lucky they were to have tickets to one of those four dates and how iconic it was that mk was opening for am after all these years. or maybe they just didn't care idk but i swear to god it wasn't even the usual "crowd who's not interested in the opening act" which. again. do you know how lucky you are you're seeing them both on the same night. don't let yourself be fooled by that cott video with the phonelights on, that was the only thing they did to show miles at least the tiniest bit of support - they were fucking dead otherwise, which is so weird because if you know am at more than a surface level you most likely know who miles is, and you probably know at the very least some of his songs... and yet they were so fucking quiet it was honestly painful to witness. most people there really had no idea how much lore was behind those gigs and it shows

• but again, it wasn't even that they weren't interested in the opening act. because they were fucking dead even during the main set. my section was full of drunk guys who were kinda hyped but very annoying (we'll come back to this later) but even in the pit which is supposed to be the most active area it looked like everyone was asleep and woke up at random times remembering they were at a concert and they were supposed to cheer and sing and just act accordingly ??¿¿??

• not even dancefloor or diwk managed to wake them up......DIWK. that's like. the song that's guaranteed to make the ground shake. i've seen am three times this year and in both paris and rome the crowd was usually only dead during the car songs (and tbhc depending on the song) - but they were INSANELY active during other songs, both oldies and classics. but this crowd was so disappointing literally snork mimimi-ing their way through the show

• anyway. miles should have played wrong side of life just for me and he also had the opportunity to do the funniest shit ever and play killing the joke or see ya when i see ya but alas one cannot have everything

• he did do something very......interesting during cry on my guitar (and i think also during one man band? but i'm not sure). my guy pointed at the mirrorball while singing "late night, all night, miss your kiss" which was kinda insane and i lost my mind a little but anyway

• as we all know there was no tlsp because he removed aviation first and then sntm which particularly hurt because he did it just a couple of hours before the show and when i saw that i just Knew. i knew shit was rapidly going downhill but still i was holding out my hope!!! i thought well there's still 505 or maybe they're saving sntm for later!!! i chose to keep being delusional!!! and boy was i about to get slapped in the face!!!

• now before we talk about am's set allow me to tell you a funny story. as i said my section was full of men who were very hyped (especially for wpsia/fwn/am songs) and the guy right next to me in particular (who was there with some other male friends) was, to put it shortly, a fucking annoyance. i was there with my brother and as we were waiting for the start of am's set he went to get us some water; so i was there alone minding my own business when the guy next to me immediately started hitting on me (he literally waited for my brother to leave bc he probably thought he was my bf lmao real smooth man). he was trying to make conversation asking me where i came from or things about the band, if it was my first time seeing them and what song did i think they were gonna open with and internally i was like BITCH who do you think i am. i literally know their setlist by heart. you and me are not the same

when i told him sculptures was gonna be the opener he was like 'mmmm idk' and i was like shut the fuck up. he was so condescending and patronizing about it and mentally i was like honey trust me we're not the same kind of fans i know much more than you do. anyway spoiler: of course they opened with sculptures

(he was also from england and told me he saw them in london at emirates stadium and when i asked him if he saw them on THE night when miles joined them he was like 'haha no' at which i was mentally like bro you didn't even see them on the right night why are you pestering me with your lame ass attempts at hitting on me. and he was so close too and already tipsy and basically just a stereotypical english dudebro and i swear the whole scene literally looked like this

but anyway then my brother came back and he finally shut up

• the problem is. this guy and his friends then started chugging on their beers and getting really drunk and the whole show this fucking idiot had no idea what personal space was because he kept invading my section and kept moving around drunkenly and i couldn't even fully enjoy the concert because i was so fucking scared i was gonna get elbowed in the face sooner or later, and i even tried to push him off because he kept bumping into me with his clumsy ass drunk moves but he just kept fucking being a nuisance the whole show and i really really wanted him gone from planet earth <3

• this went on to the point that i was dreading the fast and more active songs because this guy would just start being really frantic and overexcited and i literally feared for my life but even during the calmer songs he was fucking annoying like bruh. i appreciate the enthusiasm but i promise you don't have to throw it back to cornerstone like calm the fuck down or at least back off and stay in your fucking lane or i swear i'm gonna bite your head off

• anyway now let's talk about the actual show

• let me start by saying that yes i may have some complaints but regardless of everything it was (as always) a fucking great show. no doubt about that. i very much enjoyed it and i'm also very happy we were the first crowd to experience the strings live. i definitely got some better setlists (rome's lives in my head rent free), but it is what it is. beautiful show but well, it's always a beautiful show with them and we all know that. i may have mixed feelings about some things but these are just my opinions so please don't come at me lmao

• about the setlist: i definitely would've appreciated if we got a bit more tbhc (we only got the title track and that was it... i mean at least i got to hear it live, for the first time if i remember correctly, but still..... i'm mourning the loss of 4/5 and star treatment) (we didn't even get the iwby x star treatment x jet skis mashup which i was really sad about because i LOVE that mashup and i would've loved to hear it again); for the car, i'm so happy i got to hear hello you (we'll talk about this more later) but i also would've loved to hear perfect sense again because </3 sir that's my emotional support favourite the car song </3

• i was also thinking we'd get a bit more wpsia since originally it was the uk&ireland tour and back in june they played some more songs from that album, also because usually the closer they get to home, the more they go back to the origins... i was so hoping for mardy bum, a certain romance or ritz but instead we only got the view from the afternoon (not complaining about that tho) and dancefloor (please for the love of god remove that song from the setlist forever thank you very much)

• also if you want to give us sias (good) then why would you choose to give us don't sit down.........give us hellcat.......give us the title track........anything but That One...................

• however i got my beloved cornerstone (<3), 505 with the new string outro (but at what cost) and also all the car songs with the orchestra so that's a win

• as usual the crowd was kinda dead during the car and tbhc songs but again. they were already dead so they only became more dead during those songs

• they didn't really interact that much with the crowd, nor with each other; alex limited himself to the usual ("good evening dublin", "how you feeling/are you enjoying us dublin", "thank you", a couple of "terrific" here and there but that was it) + he did a shout out to jamie during cornerstone ("it's jamie cook here on his electric guitar!") and i think they scissored at some point during the body paint outro

• the transition from teddy picker into crying lightning was absolute FIRE my ass was shaking

• now for some silly antics

• after the piano interlude before high he said "why'd you only call me when you're high........" in the lowest saddest way ever as he usually does. okay man 😃👍

• he introduced arabella by going "i'll tell you about a girl that i made up......real character......arabella" like bruh we got it we understand you totally made her up and she's 100% not real like i promise we Get It we really do. why do you always feel the need to reinforce that why are you so adamant about it ESPECIALLY when in the presence of a certain someone......you're so sus

• "and it sounds like..........THIS" before the arabella guitar solo. literal chills

• "let's bring this party down to the cornerstone.........woah 😯"

• he always adds this thing during cornerstone i remember he also did it in rome and then i forgot to post the clip but i swear i never understand what he's saying i've seen some people transcribe it as 'ken barlow' but to me it sounds more like 'jenny ballow' or smth like that which doesn't make sense either way but still. does anyone know what i'm talking about and wtf he's on about

• nothing to say about cornerstone. beautiful beautiful beautiful as always <3 he also did the "squeezed me very tightly" bit that he always does and it was the cutest thing

• he sang the last line of the song so cuntily it was like. 'yes 😗 you can call me anything 😏 you want 💅' if it slayed

• after the song ended there was a moment of silence after which he went "......they kept in touch" and i felt the need to put him in a blender and drink him whole

• "from our first LP wpsiatwin, the view from the afternoon......."

• he got on his knees during pretty visitors. where he belongs

• we also got knee socks but there was something wrong because his voice cracked multiple times on the higher notes, he didn't even finish singing some lines - he just stopped, shook his head and then tried the next one... idk what was happening but he really looked like he was struggling during that song :(

• at the end of fluorescent adolescent he sang "remember when you used to be a rascal....... ~do you remember?~" which i saw he also did at last night's show and idk man that was kinda sus

• the strings were absolutely amazing showstopping spectacular and really put a nice ribbon on the songs they were used for (especially 505 and hello you) but that just makes things even more infuriating because why did they only get the whole orchestra there for the last four shows which weren't even originally supposed to happen.......... are you telling me if alex hadn't caught laryngitis we never would've have got them or what. like what's up with that

• anyway up until this point despite the lack of sntm i was still a sweet naive summer child who had some hopes left for 505. but the moment the music started playing without miles having been introduced to join them i knew. i knew we wouldn't get shit

• the 505 outro with strings was amazing tho......so melancholy and beautiful and just sososo pretty i loved it. would've loved it even more if miles and alex smooched right there and then

• as i said the crowd was dead even during diwk which was absolutely embarrassing lmao like wtf. not only was i the only one popping my pussy to the car and tbhc songs i also was the only one doing it to the most basic ahh song (still a banger tho it's always so powerful live 10/10)

• i can't believe the biggest milex interaction we got was alex saying "let's hear it for miles kane" right before body paint... i nearly lose my mind there and he literally just said his name (not a dedication like some people said) but i mean. that was at least acknowledging each other so i'll take that (said as i rip my hair out and bite my tongue and roll on the floor hitting myself)

• i was so delusional at that point when i heard he said his name i thought well maybe they're gonna be random and he's gonna join for body paint!!!!! which in hindsight i'm like. girl do you have any idea how insane you sound rn

• "thank you for having us dublin, it's been lovely" said with the most 'i'd rather be anywhere else than here rn' face and tone ever :/

• btw his little HA! was very <3<3<3 and at some point he was like scratching his head in such a cute way i almost forgot how mad at him i was (emphasis on almost)

• "just a trace....... just a trace....... just a traaaaaaceeeeeee....... just. a. trace. on your legs~ and on your arms~ and on your face........ your faceeeeee"

• when they left the stage before the encore the crowd was shouting "one more song" but all i wanted to hear was "miles, miles, miles fucking kane" because who knows maybe that would've shook them up and they'd spontaneously decide to call him on for the encore (incredibly delusional)

• hello you as the encore opener was fire, i'm so glad i got to hear it live AND with the strings too, it sounded just like the recorded version and you could hear the improvement in the live version so clearly compared to when they first debuted it; the mirrorball still hadn't dropped and since i haven't been watching many videos from the north american tour i was like ??? i thought it was maybe malfunctioning bc only the little one at the back was shining before but them BOOM the main girl dropped during hello you and it was crazy beautiful!!!!!

• "i bet that YOU look good on the dancefloor, dublin"

• at the end of the show he was blowing and catching kisses, they were bowing and waving to the crowd and that's when i realised it was my last time seeing them this tour and you could see the exact moment my heart cracked i was desperately hoping they'd never leave that stage </3

• it was an amazing night but it very much left me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth - because, as i've been saying, the vibes felt so off and i don't even know why. i can't exactly point out what was wrong, because really we have no idea what goes on behind the scenes; and i'm not even talking about it through a milex lens or smth like that. i mean, i was absolutely disappointed that nothing happened - no sntm, no 505, nothing -, but when i say the vibes were off i don't mean it in a demon way. i'm talking about the band. they really looked like they didn't want to be there, probably because they're tired and burnt out and can't wait for the tour to be over so that they can have a much-needed break. they must be exhausted and i get that, i really do; but still. it was a bit disappointing and i hate that i can't fully put my finger on why it felt that way, what was wrong, why did everything feel so rushed and why the well-oiled machine feeling translated into 'we're gonna play this show so soullessly it's gonna fly by more quickly' but it really felt that way. also mind you, i'm not even saying this as the 'tumblr fan who follows every show they play and knows all their antics by heart so that's why she notices perfectly normal things no one else notices' (like i remember the discourse back when they played glastonbury, and that really made sense because ofc casual fans are not gonna notice everything we notice) - but no, i'm not doing this that way. because my brother, who's very much a casual fan who knows nothing about the lore or the usual way they play shows (he saw them with me in paris so he had some kind of basic for comparison but that's it) said THE EXACT SAME THING. he agreed that the vibes felt very off, he also had to listen to me angrily ranting about it all the way back to the hotel and once again he agreed that the show felt, to put it very simply, kinda weird.

• now speaking of miles not joining them... the fact that he removed sntm at the very last minute was one of the sussiest thing he's ever done because why would he even add it to the initial setlist only to remove it just before the first show. it literally doesn't make any sense but i'm choosing to believe there were some technical problems out of their control, no time to rehearse or something like that... they're still best friends and if they weren't okay they wouldn't even have asked miles to open for them. i do find it weird and stupid that they'd miss this opportunity and i'm so angry at them for being dumb and not doing anything with it (unless something happens tomorrow), i'm very much heartbroken and my mind was and still is wandering trying to find more or less rational or delusional reasons why they didn't do it. i was drowning in grief after the show and the day after because i simply couldn't wrap my head around it all, but that's on me for having expectations i guess. i know they're still best friends. they're also never beating the divorce allegations. the two things can and should coexist when you're in an obsessive codependent homoerotic friendship and you're constantly having filthy telepathic sex with each other

• someone please get them to therapy or lock them in a room and throw away the key until they talk and sort their shit out and it stinks of sloppy nasty make-up sex in there because at this point it feels like we're fucking intruding on their fucked up psychosexual games and i'm SO TIRED of being a child of divorce. please we know you know everyone knows you're obsessed with each other just stop being insane (barely acknowledging each other) and start being insane (having crazy gay sex again). i promise all your problems would be solved if you just fucked each other into oblivion like the good old days

• ANYWAYS. i'm still kinda sad and angry over the way the show unfolded and it's not really helping that it's dawning on me that there's only one show left and then they're gonna disappear for god knows how long. i still loved the show, don't get me wrong, and i'm very grateful i got to see them again before the end of the tour and also to see miles for the first time during the same night. i do feel very lucky and despite the fact that we got no tlsp reunion or 505, the fact that miles was opening for them after YEARS of this not happening is still very much history in the making. iconic in and of itself. i'm also happy i got to visit and fall in love with a new city, i'm missing dublin so much and i miss THEM so much and i'm feeling so sad and bittersweet and heartbroken and ugh. i swear i can't even explain it to the full and i can't believe the tour is almost over </3 but that's a thought for another post..........

• for now i just want to see what happens at the last show and enjoy it to the full because yes we might have complained about some stuff along the way (i know i just did it myself lmao) but it's been such an amazing and memorable tour i just wish it'd never end </3

[female-malice]

can you give me some tips on how to awaken your inner witch? my problem is that my inner reddit bro refuses to let me believe in things like astrology, witchcraft and palmistry. idk where to start because eveything comes off as phony to me. i want to do rituals and believe in something bigger than myself because the trauma of being raised in and escaping an Abrahamic religion will never leave me.

Start here:

Crann Bethadh. The Celtic tree of life. The green leaves photosynthesize energy from the sun to grow the tree. Then they fall to the ground. By covering the ground, they prevent certain weedy plants from colonizing the area around the tree. They also help the soil around the tree retain moisture. Over time, the leaf litter decays into humus. The rich nutritious humus creates a perfect environment for the interconnected tree roots and mycorrhizal network. The mycorrhizae store nutrients for the tree and gradually distribute them when the tree needs them.

Not only do leaves fall to the ground, but seeds, too. The tree of life shows them falling to the ground and growing into new trees.

This ancient tree of life symbol intricately illustrates these cycles in detail. The leaves growing, falling, protecting the roots, decaying into humus, and being managed and stored by mycorrhizae. This process happens over the course of a whole year. But in the tree of life, time is a circle and you can view the whole year at once. And you can see the symmetry of cyclical time. As above, so below. As the sun energizes the tree, so too does the soil.

The tree is a perfect holy being. She is a saint. She is an autotroph. She does not need to take life in order to live. Her relationship with the life-death cycle is fascinating and there is so much we can learn from her.

But we are very different. We are heterotrophs. We can strive to be like the tree saints, but we can never reach true sainthood. We must take life to live. Therein lies the great riddle of heterotroph life. All other heterotrophs have solved that riddle. And our ancestors solved that riddle, too. The answer to that riddle was ancient and loved and protected. And that answer was passed down from one generation to the next. It was passed down through animism and holy trees and heroic stories. It was passed down by midwives and scouts and druids. The answer was used to resolve conflicts between different people. And it was used to resolve conflicts between different forms of life. Our ancestors were never perfect. But they did solve this riddle.

But then they came across a different answer. A much simpler answer to the riddle from a far off land with brilliant cities and fierce armies. For this simple answer, you did not need to try and conceptualize time as a circle. You did not need to hold the whole cycle, life, death, above, below, all together in your head. This new answer was more linear. All you needed to know was that a heavenly father created nature and then gave men dominion over that nature.

But not everyone is charmed by simplicity. The ancient solution to the riddle still carried on alongside this Abrahamic solution. Christianity taught people to be farmers and to produce wealth for their holy feudal lords. But getting the pagans to do any kind of organized wealth production was like herding cats. They were a woodland headache for the lords who were supposed to turn their forest lands into gold. And then a plague came and many Christians died. But in the middle of the forest where people lived by ancient knowledge, they fared much better. And so suspicions grew. And the church capitalized on those suspicions.

The Hammer of Witches. After the bible, this was the second-most popular book during the renaissance.

Centuries of this. The ancient answer to the great heterotroph riddle was burned at the stake.

In the absence of that complicated ancient knowledge, men began trying to rebuild complexity.

Alongside men's mysticism and alchemy, the tree of life survived in various strange and altered forms. Eventually, Carl Linnaeus gave us this one.

Men are at the top of the tree because they are closest to a heavenly father. And all other life is below men. All other life exists to raise men up to that heavenly father. Although Carl's Christianity permeates his work, he did spend most of his life observing life. And his strange tree reintroduced an ancient question that many had forgotten how to ask. Is it maybe all connected? Are we maybe all cousins?

And a century later, Darwin answered that question with the brilliant science of evolutionary biology. Yes, it is all connected. We are all cousins. And there is a tree of life. And we can look at all lifetimes all at once. We can hold it all in our minds. And it looks like this.

And where are we? Zoom in on that tiny branch on the very far right. There we are. This tree is not symmetrical and perfect like the saintly Celtic autotroph tree. This is a wild chaotic fractal. The rings of extinction resemble the rings on a tree trunk.

Fast growth in spring/early summer. Slow growth in late summer/fall. And no growth in winter.

Just as there is annual seasons for trees, there is geologic seasons for biodiversity. There are springs that bring an explosion of biodiversity. There are summers where all that new life co-evolves. There are falls where some unfit variations of life fade away. And there are winters of mass extinction where entire branches of the tree of life crumble into dust.

Annual seasons follow the dance of the Earth around the Sun. And geologic seasons are influenced by the Earth's various personalities and moods. The Earth is alive, too. The trees of life refer to the biodiversity on her crust. But the Earth herself is like a giant cell or giant particle, with a core, mantel, crust, and atmosphere.

And every 100 million years or so, there's a gas leak or some volcanism or an awkward collision. And this causes a mass extinction.

The last one was an asteroid 66 million years ago. That winter gave way to a brilliant spring of mammalian biodiversity. But we're already back to winter again so soon. We were supposed to get another 40 million years of mammal paradise. But instead, humanity has summoned an early winter. And how did we manage to do that?

Well, the Abrahamic solution to the heterotroph riddle is incorrect. Men do not have dominion over nature. The world is not linear. It is cyclical. It's a complex system of mutual relationships. But for the last 600 years, the ruling class has killed and terrorized every human who understood that ancient knowledge. And now that knowledge is endangered. It might even be extinct but I hope it isn't.

Witchcraft is the process of rediscovering the answer to the heterotroph riddle. It's the process of conjuring the wisdom that our ancestors were prevented from passing on to us. It's about healing a 600 year old wound and preparing for winter.

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 9 batchersss

Let's do it 🤟

The Bad Batch 1x05

"I get my own comm device?" she's so excited and it's so big on her lil arm 🥺🤲

Wrecker working out with Gonky

Echo: "the jedi trusted him" Tech: "the jedi who are all dead" bro 💀 I mean he has a point but still

dad batch telling Omega her comm isn't a toy...

*2 seconds later* Omega sneaking off to use her comm as a toy 😂

Echo and Hunter mom and dad going through the rules with Omega

(fun fact my mum knows their rules because I say them to her lmao)

Tech's reaction to seeing Cid's place is literally "charming 👀" oml he's roasting her before he even meets her I love him sm

the two guys Ahsoka set free !!! on Oba diah !!!

Hunter: 'who is Cid?' Echo: 'I literally have no idea' 💀

Tech: "that would've been information to share earlier" brooo his sass level as at an all time high this ep 👑

TURN AROUND RN BOYS ITS NOT WORTH IT

Omega is so smart fr 💕

Echo mom grabbing Omega's hand before she touches the sharp thingy

CID WHY TF DO YOU HAVE CLONE HELMETS IN YOUR STUPID LITTLE OFFICE LIKE THEYRE DECORATIONS

I don't hate a lot of star wars characters, but Cid is definitely one of them now ngl

DONT DO IT BOYS IT'S A TRAP

Wrecker and Omega high five 💕💕💕💕

Cid called Wrecker "it" I'm- 😡

Wreckers headaches are getting worse 🥲🙃

I know someone has spoken about this before but I just cannot get over the way Omega hugs her little clone doll when she finds out some people are sold and treated like property 😭💔 it's like poetry but not the nice kind

Omega: "poor Muchi she looks scared" 🤲

another fun fact my dad says this all the time hehe oops (no my parents have not seen tbb)

oop Hunter dad told Omega to stay on the ship

shhh they're sneaking 🤫

I MISS THEM SO BAD THEYRE DOING MISSION THINGS LIKE "Echo, sitrep" idk it just feels so tcw I'm emotional 🥲

Wrecker hits his head count: 5

Hunter and Tech got the zappy net oop

Omega: "now she's a bad batcher" screaming, crying, kicking my feet, throwing myself across the room

Omega always calls for Hunter first 🥺

STOP ZAPPING OUR BOYS 😡

Wrecker trying to comfort the lil green baby 🥲

Tech's dramatic sigh count: 583

Omega has the brain cell this ep fr

THE TALKING WITHOUT WORDS GETS ME EVERY FREAKING TIME I SWEAR

ew get ur crusty feral slaver ass outta here, skug

lmao Echo shouting to Omega like 'we are unarmed pls arm us' 😂

WAIT I saw someone posting about this, if anyone knows what I'm talking about pls tag the op or something please !! but they were talking about how Echo seems so willing to work with Omega in the field, like he trusts her despite her being a child, possibly because he'd worked alongside Ahsoka as a child, like for him it's normal to work with a child soldier. so while the rest of the batch are like ??? how to talk to babies ??? Echo is giving her battlefield instructions and gives her a bit more 'freedom' (for lack of a better word) in the field

lmao Wrecker's way of distracting the guards is to take out some guy's ankles 💀

"I wasn't sneaking... I was unlocking" YESSSS OMEGAAAA 🥰💕👑🙌

screwdriver hand go brrr

Echo: "the rancor is Muchi???" 🤨🙃 poor baby just needs a nap fr

okay but Hunter just throws Echo's pack at him from like 10ft away 💀 then Wrecker immediately throws him his helmet 👀 yes I watched it multiple times 🤫

Echo again !! he straight up volunteers to take Omega with him 💕

Tech is an ipad kid

OMEGA GRABBING THE LITTLE GREEN BABY'S HAND 🥺

get them Muchi !! tear those slavers apart !!! (insert evil Nimona face)

Wrecker's big nod to slide his helmet over his face properly teehee

Wrecker hits his head count: 6

Hunter grabbing the whip. Hunter grabbing the whip. Hunter grabbing the whip. Hunter grabbing the-

do not ask me how many times I've watched this scene... just don't

but the answer is yes

anyway back to being normal lmao

Omega finding her laser bow 🙌 !!! + Echo mom calling aftet her lololol

Muchi thrashed that slaver pet fr

Wrecker: 'challenge accepted' *fights rancor*

Bib Fortuna and the guards for the ot vibes 🥰

Omega riding Muchi !!! very Fett of her hehe

"I'm good with secrets" yeah and I'm good at going to bed before 3am 🙄 pfft good with secrets my ass Ciddarin 😠

tysm for joining again friends 💕 I actually meant to post this yesterday but I fell asleep oopsie

but I'm running out of time lolol so I'm gonna have to watch a few eps a day now !!

who else is terrified for s3 👀

It's almost 3am and these are the only 2 pics I can find from this ep 🥲 feel free to reblog and add more 💕

[angelicyouth]

Youth ; Chapter 3

⇢ pairing: kenny mccormick x marsh!reader x craig tucker

⇢ synopsis: ❝Growing up with the boys as the sole girl of the group, it was only natural for them to grow protective over their pseudo-little sister as the years went by.❞

⇢ warning: descriptions of a panic attack

⇢ [AO3 link] ; [series masterlist] ; [previous] ; [next]

A cacophony of voices fight to be heard over the other, everyone shit talking around the game of Mario Kart that’s currently set up in our living room. The boys and I watch as the four players duke it out on the big screen, witnesses to a friendship-breaking competition.

Loud stomping abruptly interrupts the taunts, “Y/N! What the hell? Is that my fucking shirt that you’re wearing?” My brother violently hollers from his spot, standing halfway down the stairs to peer down at the rest of us.

“The one you’ve been looking for all morning? Yup.” I lazily drawl from my spot on the couch, obnoxiously popping the “p” in my reply. My head slightly shifts as Tweek attempts to neatly braid my hair, Butters gently coaching him from the side.

“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that? Made me waste a bunch of time looking for nothing.” Stan continues as he finishes his journey down the stairs.

“You act like you have better things to do, loser. No girlfriend, no job—nada. So I don’t see what the big deal is. Are you on your period or something?” An accidental sharp tug makes me wince, Tweek muttering apologies as he quickly kisses the top of my head in repentance for his mistake.

“Shut up! Quit stealing my shit!” He's standing off to the side of the couch now, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed.

I glare at Stan and say around a mouthful of orange chicken at the top of my lungs. “Quit stealing my weed then!”

”God, you’re such a fucking pothead!” He shouts, fists clenching in anger.

”Says the alcoholic who starts his day with a shot!” It’s a low blow but all I can see is red.

“Bro, quit being a whiny bitch. You’re not dirt poor like Kinny. Just buy a new one.” Said blonde flashes Cartman his middle finger so he rolls his eyes and attempts to correct himself. “What? Fine, at least you weren’t born ginger and a Jew like Kahl. Talk about a double whammy, I’d honestly kill myself.”

”You don’t need a reason to kill yourself, Cartman. Make all of us happy for once and just do it. If you really need a reason, just think about how fat you are and how much wasted space you take up.”

”Aye!”

The match concludes with Jimmy coming out on top and the boys deciding to abandon the game entirely. They resume eating the Chinese takeout that’s laid out on the coffee table in front of them and half-heartedly listen to the sibling’s routine bickering.

“Take it off.” He scoffs at me, face heated with anger. Tolkien rolls his eyes so hard that I’m surprised a headache doesn’t occur.

“Huh?”

“C’mon, Y/N. You’re stupid, not deaf. Want me to ask mom to get you hearing aids? I said: take. It. Off.” Comes out of my brother’s gritted teeth, each word growing more impatient and strained.

“Big deal, Stan! There’s so many other fucking shirts in this house. Feel free to get one from my closet if you need one so bad.” I retort in exasperation, clenching the denim on Tweeks legs that lay on either side of my body in frustration.

“Ack!” The frenzied blond yelps from behind me and I let go, fiddling with the creases on his jeans instead.

“No! Didn’t you hear me, r-tard? It’s mine, I bought it. Now, take it off!” Kyle closes his eyes at the elder Marsh’s words, tired beyond his years.

“Able to throw some money away for a dumb shirt but you can’t even pay me back my hundred dollars.” The local space enthusiast mumbles to himself, a chorus of ‘shut up, Craig!’ resounds from the boys in Team Stan.

“Fine!” I smirk and get off from my perch on the couch, a sly yet very bold idea pops up into my head. The perfect little thing to piss my dear older brother off. If you want petty, I’ll give you petty.

I grab my shirt from the hem and start to slowly lift it off of my frame, quirking a smug eyebrow and taunting my brother with a smile when more skin starts to show.

“Woohoo!” Kenny hollers excitedly at me, his hands in the air.

“F-f-fuck! No! Quit it, will you?! Don’t fucking do that!” Stan pushes those in his way aside and the boys make it hard for him on purpose by sticking out their legs to trip him. My brother scrambles over to me, forcing my hands down.

“Aw. What’s wrong, Stanley? You’re starting to sound a lot like Jimmy, how cute. I thought you wanted your stupid shirt?” I jeer at him. It’s like what Bebe always says: boys never know what they want and that’s the problem with them. Amen, sister.

“Ewww, Marsh. No one wants to see your underdeveloped body.” Craig socks Cartman on the arm, hard and the larger teen squeals like a dying pig.

“Don’t listen to them, sexy! Keep on going!” Clyde joins in laughing, sliding off his jacket and twirling it over his head in support of the apparent stripping going on.

“You’re voluptuous! Curvaceous! I’m already down on my knees at the sight of you, sweet thang!” Clyde continues to exaggeratedly hype me up, comically imitating the sound of a barking dog afterwards.

“I don’t know how you guys can take her seriously when her hair’s only halfway done. Looks like a damn hippie.” Cartman mumbles, more focused on inhaling his food and rubbing his now sore arm.

“Pffft, b-buh-baby Marsh gone w-wild!” Kung pao chicken accompanies Jimmy’s words of encouragement and he grabs one of his arm crutches, twirling it above his head too. My hands are still at the hem of my shirt, lifted up slightly and exposing a sliver of skin, even when my brother lets go.

I turn my head and catch Craig’s eyes trailing down as he smirks at me, his eyebrows lifted up playfully. A glint in his deep blues as he nonchalantly says, “I wouldn’t mind.”

While I’d normally giggle in amusement at the normally stoic teen and the contribution towards further riling my brother up, my face immediately flushes red after my talk with the girls at the party. I’d say that butterflies are invading my stomach, struggling to break free but it honestly feels like a whole damn zoo down there.

Feeling the adrenaline rush from my brother’s anger, the boys egging me on, and Craig’s attention, my heart beats at record breaking speed and I can feel my cheeks shyly heat up. This development doesn’t go by unnoticed as Kenny stops his playful cheering and laughing, watching the interaction between us two with furrowed brows.

“Fuck off, Tucker. Actually, fuck both of you all the way to hell.” My brother grumbles, angrily throwing himself onto an unoccupied space on the couch with his arms crossed. “It’s the fucking principle of things.”

“Big word, Stanley. Is that your word of the day? Did you learn it from this week’s episode of Sesame Street?” I mock him with a pout in fake sympathy.

“Shut the fuck up before I kick your fucking teeth in!” My brother’s stupid face goes red with anger.

He pouts when Kyle holds him back and rolls his eyes, ever the voice of reason. “They were just joking, Stan.”

“Yeah, Stanley. I was just joking.” My eyes continue to follow Craig as he lifts a bite of food towards his handsome face, wooden chopsticks pressed against his still smirking plush lips.

“Craig.” My brother says sharply this time, straightening up his back to glare at the teen over Cartman’s bigass head. I’m slightly confused as to what’s happening but still loving the attention Craig is giving me.

“Relax, Marsh.” Craig chuckles with a challenging look in his eyes. Tension begins to grow in the room and I’m lost because the other guys would normally laugh at suave shit like that and instigate a fight.

I roll my eyes and figure that it’s just them being overly protective, going back to my spot in between the cute coffee addict’s legs so that he can finish his attempt at doing my hair. Butters has a small braid done in between tufts of silky blonde from when I demonstrated the process to Tweek. He rubs his knuckles together, nervous energy exuding from his body as I return next to him.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

The girls excitedly informed me of tryouts and the process, which involves practice with the already established team and the new potential recruits. A week and a half is given to learn a few cheers before the day they hold the official tryouts, which was today. It’s here where I finally meet Nichole Daniels, Tolkien’s girlfriend. It would’ve been nice if he brought her over from time to time but I can understand his vehement refusal of bringing her anywhere near a number of dumb boys. Trouble seems to follow the guys wherever they go.

As promised to the parentals, I attended and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be with the friends I’ve already made being here. I’ve never had problems with dancing as it comes easy to me so it’s nice to just hang out and bask in the feminine energy.

My parent’s request has continued to go under the radar as the boys have been busy with the football season starting. Their practice allows me to not have to think of an excuse for staying out late since they’re already busy, extracurricular activities taking up their time after school as they prepare for the season.

I shove the heavy front doors of the school open, the sun almost fully set as a gradient of red, yellow, and orange bathe me in their hues. The girls always remember to offer me a ride home from their parents but I always politely reject, my guilt not allowing any of them to go out of their way and use their gas on me.

My hands are shoved into my pockets, trying to accumulate as much heat as possible while I begin the journey home. Wisps of fleeting, misty clouds escape from my mouth after each puff of breath I let out and I watch them disappear. I bask in the rare moment of solitude and the quiet that comes with it.

I’m colder than I normally would be tonight because a freshman accidentally spilled her gatorade onto the duffel bag that I’ve been using for cheer. Not only were the sweats that I usually throw on over my shorts drenched in sticky sweetness, but the clothes I wore to school earlier were also an unlucky casualty to the liquid electrolytes.

I wonder if I’ll make the cheer team, I ponder to myself.

The rhythmic sound of my steps on the concrete sidewalk accompany me on my walk and I hum to myself until I hear sharp, rambunctious laughter. I’m startled as my head shoots up and see that across from me in the distance are a group of boisterous, older teens. Fear resounds within me when I faintly remember them terrorizing my brother and friends when they were in the fourth grade, them having been in the sixth at the time.

I pray in my head that they don’t notice me but my prayers go unanswered as they cross the street, now joining me on the same sidewalk. I know I can’t outrun them so I panic and impulsively decide to take a detour, turning right into an alleyway until I dreadfully notice that I can still hear them from behind. What was once just the sound of obnoxious laughter is now the noise of thundering footsteps following closely, beginning to get louder and louder.

My feet hastily pick up their pace and I can feel the tremors reverberate through my now sweating hands, anxiety filling me to the very core. My trembling makes the process of pulling out my phone agonizingly slow and I silently curse at my misfortune.

The white puffs of air that once brought me entertainment on my walk now serve as a reminder of the danger I’m in. Unlike before, they come out of my mouth in quick intervals and I clench my teeth to bid them away.

Out of nowhere, someone roughly yanks on my ponytail and they’re quick to cut off my yelp as a rough hand forces itself onto my mouth. The assailant painfully holds onto my other arm, both grips enforcing excruciating pain.

“Hey, I recognize you. You go to our school, always around those dumb boys.” One of the perpetrators in front of me sneers as he brings his face up to mine, his rancid breath invading my senses and making me feel even sicker than before.  

“Lucky, aren’t we? We got baby Marsh!” Their eyes lighten up in both delight and recognition. I can feel upcoming bile trying to force its way up my throat from hearing the term of endearment the boys call me used like this, the connotation eerie in this situation.

Trying to make a sound is futile as all my cries for help are muffled, my captor getting annoyed at my squirming and relocating his hold on my arm to my neck instead. He squeezes and I whimper in fear, my breathing becomes more desperate when my kicking and elbows do nothing to deter him.

“Why’re you crying? You’re just asking for it when you walk around in fucking shorts. We live in South Park. No one would dress that way outside in the snow if they weren’t a total slut.” They all degradingly mock me, laughter resounding throughout the cold air as foreign fingers begin to play along the edge of my shorts.

“Pffft, dumb bitch.” One of them slaps me just because they have the power to do so in my vulnerable state before squeezing both of my cheeks together with one hand, hard.

“Who wants to go first?” They all fight over the answer to the question and I clench my eyes shut in dread, the color draining from my face.

Before they can do anything, yelling can be heard and I’m dropped by my captor. I stumble to the dirty ground of the alleyway at the loss of my previous support. On the floor, I painfully dig my nails onto my thighs. My breath hitches and my chest tightens, my panicking intensifying despite finally being free.

Short breaths rake through my trembling body and my nails dig deeper. Crescent moons appear on soft skin, invoking blood. My head starts to feel a little light and I try my hardest to calm myself down but it’s to no avail, my attempts prove to be futile. My unoccupied hand trembles as they reach up to touch wet, stinging cheeks. I didn’t even notice that I‘ve begun to sob as every gasp for air racks my body.

“Holy shit.” Varying voices can be heard from around me but my mind barely registers their words as my head continues to feel even lighter than before.

Even though I’m unable to determine whether or not I’m safe, I don’t flinch when someone crouches next to me and hastily crushes me against their hard chest. I’m numb to my surroundings and everything feels distorted. It’s as if I’m underwater, drowning.

“Ack! She’s hyperventilating! Gyah!”

“No fucking shit captain obvious!”

“Shut the fuck up!” The chest I’m against rumbles and my brain finally registers it as the sound of Kenny’s voice. I muster up what little strength I have to look up and see my boys around me. My brother is directly crouched in front of me and from my peripherals, I can just barely see that it’s Kyle in the same position next to him, eyes wide in panic.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

“Fuck! What should we do?!” It’s Tolkien this time but I can’t look away from my brother. My eyes are begging him to do something, anything to make it stop. Oh how I wish twin telepathy were real.

“Breathe, baby. You need to breathe for me.” The world tilts around me as a soothing voice near my ear urges. A resounding gasp of air struggles to be inhaled but it’s too shaky and tears of frustration continue to fall. My breathing isn’t slowing and I just want this to be over.

“Someone needs to do something before her heart gives out!” Someone loudly kicks what sounds to be a trash can in anger, messily spilling its contents all over the floor and I flinch at the blow.

“Y/N, breathe.” Stan coaches me, taking my hand and placing it on his chest. His large hand encompasses my smaller one, exerting slight pressure until I can feel his heartbeat.

“Just focus on the sound of my voice and follow me. In, and out. In, and out. I’m here. You see me, right? You’re here with me at this very moment and you’re safe. You’re always safe with me. Big brothers always got you, yeah?”

I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t.

I’ve been trying and nothing is happening.

It won’t stop and I can’t fucking breathe.

I don’t want to disappoint everyone but I’m tired.

“Shh, shh. You can, love, you can. I know you can.” Kenny patiently encourages me as he gently brushes strands of my hair away from my sticky, tear-stained cheeks. Heavily disoriented, I didn’t seem to realize that I was verbalizing all of my thoughts.

“You know why? Because my girl is the absolute best—the best girl ever and everyone who's anybody knows that. She’s resilient and just so, so strong. As long as she tries her best, I’ll always be proud of her no matter what and nothing she can do will ever disappoint me. Literally, nothing. She could put a bullet through my head and I’d just pass away in euphoria because my last living memory is of a goddess with ethereal beauty.” Kenny continues and ever so slightly, a corner of my lip lifts up.

This is familiar. This is comforting. I know this. The playful flirting and cheesy, over the top exaggeration. His soothing voice helps guide me back down to Earth as I focus on the rising chest of my brother under my fingertips. This is familiar, too. It’s a sound I’ve always known, even before I was born. Whenever I’m feeling sad or scared, my big brother will always hug me to his chest, my ear pressed against the faint beating of his heart. The rhythmic sound let’s me know that I’m safe, I always am when he’s here. This sound is the other half of me.

“Good girl, you’re doing great. Really great. You always do great and I knew you would.” It’s the voice near my ear again and this time, I’m finally able to look away from my brother to see that the voice belongs to Craig. It appears he had a hand on my shoulder throughout the whole ordeal, his thumb rubbing comforting circles over my jacket.

I now notice that Butters has my other hand firmly in his, tears streaking down both his and Clyde’s faces. They all must have found me after practice and I’m thankful that I wasn’t too far from the school before everything went down.

When they ask me what I was doing out so late, in athletic shorts no less, I mumble an excuse about the girls inviting me to workout in the weight room back at school. They don’t know that it’s not just today that I’ve been trekking home alone at night and I don't want to correct their assumption when they sternly lecture me on how dangerous it is.

After taking me home and getting myself cleaned up, they decide on an impromptu movie night filled with blankets, pillows, and snacks. Last minute texts are sent to their parents, notifying them of an emergency sleepover. They place me in the middle, a cocoon of softness, warmth, and comfort. They let me choose all the movies for the rest of the night and the food we order for delivery.

Our faces are colored a pale green from the clay mask I put on everyone, those with longer hair having mini palm trees at the top of their head from being tied up away from their faces.

Self care, they told me.

This isn’t edible so don’t try to lick it off your face, I told Cartman.

I slowly look around and take in the bright light of the television reflecting off of their individual faces. Some people, like Tolkien and Kyle, are starting to nod off, fighting the last dredges of sleep for my sake. On the other end of the spectrum, Butters and Clyde jump at every loud sound that accompanies the suspenseful music, paranoia painting their faces white. Tweek catches my eye and gently feeds me a kernel of popcorn.

Surrounded by my boys, I smile knowing I’m safe whenever I’m with them.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

I’m sitting in front of my vanity, carefully applying some makeup to cover the faint bruising on my cheek, the process therapeutic. The occasional clicking of buttons could be heard, Craig lounging on my bed with a handheld gaming console in his hands. I softly mouth along to the words of the low music playing from my phone while faint laughter can be heard from downstairs.

I chance a glance up and catch Craig’s reflection from the corner of my eyes, but I don’t turn my head around as we make eye contact through the mirror. My lips unconsciously quirk up, fondness of the boy behind me fills my entire being from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. “Hmm? What’s up, Tucker?”

He doesn’t say anything, only a thoughtful look adorning his attractive features. Ever since the night the boys found me, I’ve been catching their lingering gazes on me from time to time. Eyes distant, as if they’re looking past me.

I settle both of my elbows onto the tabletop, my hands carefully framing both of my cheeks lest I smudge my hard work. My smile doesn’t falter, never when I’m with him, and I lightheartedly tease him, “What? Never seen a good looking Marsh before? I know you’re around my brother all the time but he's not that ugly.”

I’m successful in getting a reaction from him because I’m soon rewarded with a twinkle of mirth in his eyes, his expression softening, “Come here.”

His deep voice is firm, filling my room with its gentle demand and I blindly obey. With Craig, I’d do just about anything for him. He’s now seated upright and has positioned himself at the edge of my bed, legs open and his thumb tapping a beat onto his thigh.

When I’m close enough, the boy grabs both of my hands, interlocking our fingers together. He gives the intertwined digits a swift, reassuring squeeze before guiding me to him to close the short distance between us. I stand in between his legs and he elicits sudden goosebumps along my arms as he carefully drags his long fingers down the length of it, slowly before finding purchase at my hips.

I instinctively loop my arms around his neck, bringing us closer together and he gently squeezes in response. He murmurs so quietly, “Are you okay?”

I softly reply, my thumbs rubbing soothing circles onto the back of his neck, catching strands of smooth black hair. “You’re here, aren’t you?”

Our voices are hushed. There’s no need to be quiet but it feels like we’re in a bubble and at any disruption, no matter how slight, might pop it.

“Yeah… You know I’m always here for you, right?” I softly nod in response, a slight shift in this space of intimacy we’ve created.

“You know you have me, right?” Again, I nod as I hang onto his words.

“Because I’d do anything for you, Y/N. It doesn’t matter what it is—big or small. At the asscrack of dawn or in the middle of the night. I'd drop whatever I was doing if it meant getting to you when you need me.” His long fingers reach up to lightly smooth his thumb at the area where soft skin meets makeup.

“If you ever have any doubts or feel upset about anything, just talk to me, okay? And I promise that I’ll do whatever I can to erase those doubts and remind you of how much you mean to me. I don’t ever want you to feel alone or less of anything, not when you mean everything to me.” The ravenette continues as he moves his hand, this time tucking silky strands of hair away from my face and behind my ear.

I shyly giggle in bliss at his soft touch and even lighter voice. “Where is this coming from, Craig?”

He ignores my question, persistent to convey his message to me. “You do know that, right, Y/N?”

“Of course, I’ve never doubted it or thought otherwise.”

“Good.” The teen says, satiated before bringing us down onto the bed.

My hands lay themselves against his chest to keep myself upright and he caresses my head with both hands, angling my head down to give my forehead a soft kiss. His lips lingers before pulling away.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

It wasn’t hard for the girls to see the slight traces of lingering purple under my attempted camouflage. I tried to reassure them that it wasn’t anyone’s fault but mine, yet they persisted in trying to make up for it due to the guilt they all felt.

I had just finished applying my daily cover up and was adding the final touches to my hair, making sure that every single strand was in place. Satisfied, I turn the brightness of my computer screen back up until the reflection of myself on the glass disappears. I had time before I was due to head out so I loosely curled every lock cascading down my shoulders, braids adorning either side of my head. The girls wanted to take me out later in the day as an otherwise unnecessary apology and I hummed to myself in excitement.

“Wow, doll. Is this all for me?” I look up from the boss battle I was currently engaged in, pausing to identify the intruder that let out a low whistle.

Kenny leans off from his laidback position on my door frame and lazily walks up behind me, the end of his lips quirked up. He gives me an appreciative hum as he takes his time scanning my appearance, indulging his eyes on my figure. I patiently smile at his appreciation.

“Ah, scratch that. That was a stupid question, you’re beautiful every single day to anyone who lays their eyes on you. You don’t even need to try so I meant to say that this is a welcomed treat.” I turn around in my seat to face him, giggling at his words of praise. I greedily drink them in as I loop my arms around his waist.

“Beautiful?” I seek more of his validation, a deepening blush rising on my cheeks as I parrot back his compliment.

He takes a small section of my hair and gently guides his hand to his face, kissing the soft locks in his possession. He hums to me, “Beautiful, bewitching, alluring… You’re every synonym and every iteration of the word, babe. You define beautiful, you’re the very embodiment of it. That word was created because of you—if I were to look under the definition of it, your name would be there.”

My smile grows wider and my cheeks start to hurt from the action, resulted by the constant influx of euphoria that the blonde never fails to provide me. Whether from being drunk on the male’s compliments or shyness, the color red has made its permanent residence onto my cheeks.

He lets go of my hair and gently cups his large hands on either side of my face, angling it up towards his taller figure.

“Pretty.” He quietly utters to my skin, kissing my forehead.

“Gorgeous.” A kiss to my nose this time.

“Irresistible.” A kiss to my left cheek.

“Ravishing.” A firmer kiss to my right cheek with a playful growl, melodic laughter gets pulled out of me.

“Lovely.” He says much softer this time, watching me with gentle eyes. He keeps his devoted gaze onto my visage, his thumb lightly goes over my lips once. “Everything a guy could ever ask for in a person. Everything that I could ever want in life. If I could have one wish, it’d be you.”

My eyes flicker between bright azure orbs, the air between us charged. Before I can say anything, the sound of muffled yelling from my brother’s room startles us. I hastily look away embarrassed, the moment between us broken.

“Can I make you pretty, too?” I flash him a toothy grin and he playfully rolls his eyes, seeking refuge onto my bed. That’s all the answer I need before I push at his shoulders to guide his back down before I settle myself onto his lower stomach, giggling with an eyeshadow palette in one hand and a makeup brush in the other.

Washing flecks of glittery white over his eyelids, I bring my face closer to his and take the time to study the teen under me while his eyes are closed. His slender hands find purchase at my hips and I find myself mesmerized at the mini constellations that adorn his handsome face. Albeit not many, every freckle looks like a tiny star, accentuating the blonde’s mesmerizing features.

I lean in closer to get a better look as I carefully paint a streak of black, a steady hand making a line. I inspect my latest stroke when his hand gently grabs the wrist of the hand I have hovering over his face, the same one holding my eyeliner brush. His eyes slowly open as to not disturb my art, our faces close to one another. Kenny showcases his boyish smile, flashing me with deep dimples at the lack of space between us and my eyes inadvertently lower, seeking plush lips.

“Haven’t you noticed that yeah, the boys are overprotective over you. But when it comes to Kenny and Craig, it’s different?”

Fuck.

[gothy-froggy]

Full JJK Theory (Newest spoilers)

Look at my last post for context!

No because I thought about it more and you guys…I might actually be cooking.

Im pulling out a whole family tree and timeline for you all.

Timeline

We now know that Kenjaku is OLDER than Sukuna and had his ability at the time that Sukuna was in the womb to extract Jin’s soul.

Now; I don’t know how Kenjaku does it or how it works because yall im rusty on my knowledge and everything, but Kenjaku had to (or most likely) there when this happened. So what if,

He IS Sukuna’s mother? Bro is a brain parasite, they appear as human; a female specifically, and got this goal of theirs. It became an obsession and finds a man. Has twins, one eats the others so Kenjaku keeps the soul, holds onto it.

Kenjaku leaves Sukuna when he was young to plan or whatever. Sukuna gets sealed (idk how to explain it) with the fingers.

Now that was a thousand years ago in the modern time. Kenjaku was secretly working up the family of Itadori. Once Kenjaku becomes Wasuke’s mother and has him, they leave when he is young as well. Wasuke’s life becomes bitter, meets his wife.

The wife is Kenjaku, meaning the stitches are there. Then, Kenjaku takes Jin’s soul, becomes pregnant. Has Jin, then leaves after some time.

We’re now where you’ll see a pattern I think will be shown later on. The mothers and wives, are always leaving, disappearing, or dying. And when it comes to being a mother to Itadori members, they are leaving before they would really remember them.

This is because when they see the stitches, they aren’t like “wait, my mom had these” because Kenjaku will come back as their lovers with the stitches.

This might be why Wasuke is like “something’s wrong but I can’t put my finger on it.” When he meets Kaori. His wife had the stitches. Kaori now has the stitches. But he doesn’t know what’s going on so he doesn’t have proof.

Jin is just happy that he has his wife back. Kenjaku has Yuji. Kenjaku as Kaori and Jin are now both out of the picture so Jin doesn’t see the possible future as stop Yuji. Wasuke would just be seen has a crazy old man by the time he catches on.

You’re probably wondering, what is Kenjaku doing between the times that they aren’t in the Itadori life? Going between other families (I would suggest the Kamo family I suppose or another one completely) to go into hiding. He can’t go around as Itadori mothers and wives after disappearing. It’s suspicious

Family tree

Now originally in my first post, I explained the family tree like this image right here

Kenjaku having twins (being Sukuna and Jin), one eating the other, skipping over Wasuke’s parents, saying that Wasuke’s wife is Kenjaku who gives birth to Jin before becoming Jin’s wife and having Yuji.

Which let a plot hole because Wasuke looks related to Sukuna by looks just like Jin and Yuji.

But we can bring this pattern to Wasuke’s parents. Kenjaku could have been Wasuke’s mother who “mysteriously dies or disappears” which could start a main cause in his bitter life. Long before he could really remember her himself.

He meets his wife, who is Kenjaku and has Jin. Also “mysteriously dies or disappears” like his mother. This could explain why Wasuke was so suspicious of Kaori when she appears because if Kenjaku was his wife, that means the stitches were there. Seeing Kaori with similar or the same stitches would make him go on a spiral, but not having enough to prove what’s suspicious exactly.

Here is a slightly more detailed version of the family tree

Kenjaku would have more control as a woman when it comes to birth so I would assume that Kenjaku during these times decided to be female for this part of the plan. There seems to be a pattern when it comes to wives and mothers in this family.

Kenjaku and Kenjaku’s plan

We know that Kenjaku’s plan has relations with all of humans and curses living as one or whatever. I’m not going to explain that I’ll give myself a headache. But how did this obsession start? Long before Sukuna’s existence. Kenjaku has had this plan for over a thousand years.

With the theory of Kenjaku, a curse in a human body with a human man, made Sukuna. Someone who is human but has the capabilities like curses. And this obsession, this plan, Kenjaku starts the plan. Knowing that Sukuna is the one who can achieve this plan, Kenjaku waits to make the perfect vessel that can live while Sukuna is using them as a vessel. Yuji Itadori.

And for those who say that Kenjaku didn’t have a concrete idea with Yuji and his parents, it can be either Kenjaku lied or this is the somewhat more solid part of the plan.

But I think it was a lie. Reasons is because what would’ve happened if Kenjaku told the ones around them about Yuji being related to Sukuna? Who knows- it could’ve ruined the plan entirely. So they keep it a secret.

But I want to point out that Kenjaku’s plan feels like we haven’t seen all of the hard work put into it. If it’s a thousand years old plan, there’s a LOT of steps that has been taken place. Kenjaku hasn’t taken that many that we’ve seen. And I think because it’s now a more stand and watch, fix a few things here and there. Because the hard work to get to that point has already been done. Which was the ENTIRE Itadori family.

So my theory is

[fyorina]

(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros": Just for the weekend

*Zeus and Hera are off on a 'romantic' anniversary trip to the Sumerian ruins. Zeus has decided to make a rather shocking request*

Athena: YOU WANT ARES TO HOUSE SIT?!?!

Zeus: Yes, but tis only for the weekend my dearest. Besides, it will be a fantastic exercise of his leadership and responsibilities.

Athena: *nearly fuming as she hears this* BUT I AM LITERALLY THE MOST RESPONSIBLE AND THE MOST QUALIFIED FOR THIS TASK. Not even your most "beloved" children can handle the responsibility of even sitting on your throne!

*roughly about a year ago*

Apollo, Artemis, Hermes and Dionysus: *all just squeezed in sitting on Zeus's throne, unsurprisingly all four stuck* ...

Apollo: *losing feeling in his hips* Hephaestus please do hurry, I believe Hermes is losing oxygen.

Hermes: *probably the most crushed* ~°

Dionysus: I don't know guys, I think this is a great way to bring ourselves together a-

Artemis: *getting really antsy being stuck* Dionysus if you don't suck up your gut just a little bit just little bit longer I'll shave off of few pounds off of you myself!

Dionysus: *practically suffering being crushed by the shoulders and hips* oh I love you too Artemis *sheds a little tear*

Hephaestus: *deep sigh* yes yes. Hold still. *Literally puts on a welders helmet and a blow torch* this shouldn't take too long. Now which leg do you all prefer?

*back in present time*

Zeus: Oh Athena, past mistakes should not be taken so seriously. Anyway. ARES! *As he calls Ares, a huge thunderstorm rocks the hell out of Olympus and ends with one big bolt hitting the floor and poof there's Ares wearing a towel and a confused look*

Ares: *wet, slightly cold and maybe just a wee bit afraid* ....wut the actual fuk dad.

Zeus: Ah there you are. I see you have finally decided to dedicate some time to practice proper hygiene.

Ares: yeah I was in the fuckn shower and s-

Hera: *dressed in the finest touring gowned* Oh there you are my wlittle future king of the gods! *pinches Ares's cheeks* Now get dressed, your father and I are late for the 3976th Sumerian Lovers retreat. *Looks at Zeus* And we WILL have a peaceful and reasonable time won't we?

Zeus: hehe, of course my little hummingbird. Now, Ares. The frozen food is in the fridge and please water the plants. Goodbye! *With that Hera and Zeus poof in a thunder strike*

Ares: *barley understanding what happened, turns to see Athena just about to perform temporarily elected regicide*

Athena: *stares coldly into Ares's eyes* ....I will slaughter you. If you so dare foul my chances o-

Ares: -look come on Athena do I really look like I actually volunteered for this shit please give me a break.

Athena: i do not care. I'm watching you.

*a day and a half later*

Ares: *sitting on the throne wondering if he should kill off humanity and just let dogs evolve into the new dominant species* ....I wonder if world peace can really be achieved....maybe I can even let the pigs take over too....I wonder *looks down to earth and sees a group of dogs howl into the night sorrowfully for some reason. Suddenly becomes so emotionally moved* .... AWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!

Athena: ....oh by the great void of chaos he's insane.

Apollo: well at least he's sympathetic.

Dionysus and Artemis: *hearing Ares's howling and decides to join in* AWWWWWWWWOOOOOOooooooo!!!!

*now three gods have joined in the literal cacophony of canidae condolences*

Hermes: *waking up from a headache, starts hitting Ares with a pillow but Ares doesn't react* SHUT THE FUK UP IM TRYING TO PROCRASTINATE!!!!!

Athena: ....I'm surrounded by lunatics.

Apollo: I can almost see why father picked him for the weekend.

Ares: *continues the glorious insanity that is his two day reign of insanity and fun*