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#i guess people are always going to have different opinions on things....
jupitersflytrap · 4 months
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i just read the curious incident of the dog in the night-time and hopped on here to see what the general consensus was about it and oh dear i was not expecting to see so many people hating it
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trans-cuchulainn · 1 year
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i guess the reason so many books featuring trans characters have them able to go stealth and make it so other characters don't know they're trans unless they say something is because that's an escapist fantasy for many trans authors who don't get that and want to imagine what it's like to live in a world where you don't get misgendered on sight every single day, and because they don't want to write about the latter (very fair)
but also when these are YA books it depends on the characters being able to medically transition at like 14 and i have literally never in my life met a single person who was able to do that (partly because I live in the UK where you can't and also I am old enough that for people my age, coming out as a preteen would've been way harder and rarer than it would be for current teen-aged protagonists)
so idk. i would like to read a book with trans characters who feel like real people living in the real world occasionally. it's hard to walk a path when you never get to see other people do it first and never get to witness it safely in fiction before you experience it IRL, and only ever seeing people walk roads that don't even exist in your reality doesn't really help at all tbh
#i have mostly only read fantasy and historical adult books with trans protags#aside from Confessions of the Fox i guess. which is still 50% historical#but i never come across contemporary-set adult books with trans protagonists#compared to the growing contemporary trans YA scene#this may be that i am looking in the wrong places#but i can more easily find historical trans romance than a novel with a relatable 20 or 30something transmasc protag#oh i did read detransition baby i guess. but it didn't really speak to me for various reasons#(most of them to do with me being trans in a different direction but not all of them)#anyway idk. i read a lot of YA because a lot of my friends write YA and it is easy for me to find things#but even though i am glad there are trans YA books now I can't relate to them at all#i guess because I didn't know i was trans as a teenager#so the trans teenager experience is always inherently one i did not have#i am looking for something that will never be what i need it to be#i want coming of age and self discovery and all that because I don't feel like I've DONE it yet in gender terms#that's why i want the YA vibes but. i guess as a 27yo still trying to do that I'm not going to find it there. not meaningfully#so i need novels about adults coming of age and figuring shit out and being newborn baby trans adults i guess. where are those#and nobody is allowed to be cool in those books because i am unable to continue reading about cool people sorry#néide has opinions about books
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peapod20001 · 7 months
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I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3
#random post#I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things#there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words#and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe#pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me#from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment#it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it#belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or#overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable#writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well#which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than#letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know#that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way#a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow?#and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with#people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel#comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and#world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with#my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they#like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of#the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students#who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I#come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their#level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m#not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t#mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that#I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have#a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the#faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making
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persephoneflouwers · 1 year
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Wtf is my fascination with this little freak.... Hes just a dude but I'm so intrigued, I'm tired
#miranda talking shit#Its been two years but i still dont understand him so im guessing thats why#Tbf we didnt become closer until a year ago or something so yeah. But since day one i just felt like it was something with him and now im#Frustrated. Hes literally just a dude. Yet my brain find him so fascinating. I know i in general am very interested in people i like#But this guy man... I think it might be because i can understand him and thus cant predict him? My brain does love a mystery.#I mean i had an fairly intense period of 3-6 months where i was super fascinated by fabian. I still kinda am but now i think#I understand how he works over all so i do not feel the intense need to ask him all kinds of things and analyze? Bc now i have an decent#Idea of how he works. Meanwhile this little freak is almost the opposite of me in everything and i just want to study him. I think in a way#He reminds me of myself at least in the way of 'dealing' with mental problems etc. Or rather my past self. So i want to challenge him to do#It differently. I dont think i have an savior conplex or something when it comes to him bc i do basically not... Tell him to change?#I dont think i could change him. So thats not what my fascination comes from... But holy shit i just want to talk with him about everything#Also probably why i like him that he will answer any questions i ask. No topic has been bad or too weird and i appriciate that in others#But nah. Never been this intrested in someone whos this diffrent than me ever. I always need to have something major in common for a strong#Intrest. But here its like... We are both introverts ... And both social actors/pretenders... Otherwise our similarities are pretty small#I really wish i knew exactly why my brain is so intrested in him . I think its my hyperfixation being activated unfortunately.#Technically he have a lot of things/traits i dont like? But still i dont find him annoying or something?#Many things i dont agree or have the same opinion as him on. But i just find it refreshing ? Maybe its bc i basically havent known anyone#Like him. Hes not the type of person i attract or even put my time into i think. That's why ive told him we'd not be friends if we didn't#Meet this way. I would probably not have wanted to talk to him and i cant see him wanting to talk to me. Especially if we met when younger#No way teen Miranda would not go near him iajdjfjskskd id like to discuss this with him but im scared to scare him and scared to learn#Something bad or him not caring for me or something. I know he doesnt care about many things so id not be suprised but#Fuck this guy. I wamt to obsess over a video game instead where there are wikis to read /:
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luvjunie · 10 months
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Hey sweetie, I’ve been a real big fan. Can you write some HCS or a fic about the both Miles being twins?
a/n: ABSOLUTELY 10000% YES. i had way too much fun with this oml. and omg thank you you’re so sweet! 😭 btw, let’s just pretend that in this au they don’t have the same name since they’re ‘twins’ lmao
— headcanons. miles and miles as twins
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Twins? Yes. Polar opposites? Definitely.
They both have a completely different sense of style, but one thing they have in common is that they both love Jordan’s. However I feel like miles!42 is a full blown sneakerhead. Has the better collection and often finds miles!1610 wearing his shoes, because somehow 42 always manages to win the snkrs raffles.
“Are those my brand new fuckin’ 4s?” “Uh… no?” “Take my shit off before I tweak out.”
42 keeps his side of the room squeaky clean, gets upset if there’s even a sock that does not belong to him on his side
Absolutely hates the song Sunflower. Cannot stand it, makes him wanna rip his hair out. The minute it came out 1610 played it into the dirt and 42 swears he can still hear it in his dreams till this day
1610 is the more affectionate one (outwardly) while 42 likes to pretend he’s completely devoid of that as if he doesn’t love his brother with everything in him.
“You got exactly three seconds to get off me.” “Just hug me back, damn!”
They’re the kind of brothers to open soundcloud, turn on a random trap beat and see who can go the longest freestyling. They do that thing where guys bring their fist to their mouths and squeal and shove each other out of excitement when they get a good flow going back and forth
42 is definitely the athletic type, plays football and soccer. 1610 is more in tune with his artistic side. Will play sports for fun but doesn’t care for them like that
42 is introverted as hell, doesn’t really like talking to people. 1610 is more of a social butterfly
They’ve never once liked the same girl. Ever. Their taste is drastically different
“Bro, you like a white girl?” “…Yes? What does her race have to do with anything?” “See me personally—“. “Literally nobody fucking asked.”
Used to help each other break out of their cribs when they were babies. Either that or Jeff and Rio would wake up to find that 42 had climbed into 1610’s crib after they’d been put down and slept with him instead. it was impossible to keep them apart from each other, so eventually they just broke down the second crib and let them use the one.
You can tell who is who in their baby pictures. You guessed it, 42 was the oddly solemn one who always wanted to play by himself. They worried about him for a bit. They also had to tickle him as an attempt to get him to smile in pictures, and just their luck, he’s never been ticklish
When they were eight years old, 1610 accidentally broke the wolverine action figure 42 never went anywhere without, and 42 cried about it for three days straight
They definitely ask for each other’s opinions on their outfits
“Do you think this shirt goes with these pants?” “The entire outfit is black… how would it not go together?”
They both obviously love their mother but 42 is the biggest mama’s boy. Always in the kitchen helping her cook, will watch her telenovelas with her and actually keep up with the plot. He’ll willingly follow her to the grocery store or accompany her on her ridiculously long Ross/Tjmaxx sprees because he likes hanging out with her
They terrorize the fuck outta their dad and have been doing so since they entered this world because they think it’s funny. Stupid shit like dying his boxers pink, or looking up a cracked tv screen video on youtube just to watch him nearly have a heart attack thinking they broke it. They used to twin-swap when they were younger to get out of certain things, but it’s 100% impossible to pull off now. They’re way too different, physically and mentally
Uncle Aaron took 42 to get his ears pierced when he was thirteen, something 1610 would never do. Rio basically had an aneurysm when he came home with them in and Jeff was not pleased but Aaron took the blame for it, said it was his idea. 42 made up some bullshit lie about how if he takes them out before they heal completely they’ll get infected. Still has them in till this day
42 is exactly fourteen minutes older and refuses to let 1610 hear the end of it, but 1610 is taller by an inch and weighs a little more.
“I don’t know why you’re talking shit like I’m not older than you. Pipe down lil’ bro.” “Sorry, is someone talking to me right now? Cause I sure as hell can’t see ‘em.” “Nigga it’s ONE INCH”
They’re definitely scrapping over that, and both get smacked upside their heads by Mama Rio for fighting with each other
42 needs the tv and the fan on, SIMULTANEOUSLY when he sleeps or he’ll be up the entire night. 1610 can’t stand it
1610 will try and turn the fan off after his brother’s been asleep for probably two hours, thinking he’s in the clear until he hears—
“Do you value your life? Turn my damn fan back on.”
Deep down 42 is a big ass softie and loves spending time with 1610, he has no idea what he’d do without him. He’s just not the best at expressing it. 1610 teases him about it simply because he enjoys aggravating his other half
“You still got plans with Ganke tonight?” “Nah, his mom’s dragging him to some baby shower.” “Oh, cool, cool… So what movie are we watching?” “Huh?” “Huh—Headass. What movie are we watching tonight?” “Sorry, I’m not understanding. Are you—asking to spend time… with me?” “Damn, I need to say it in Spanish? Matter fact, you probably won’t understand that either. No sabo ass.”
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arielleslipgloss · 1 month
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i feel like i am less important than other ppl. oe that i dont matter , inferior something like that :(
Hii doll!! Tysm for asking me this 💗
Let’s Talk Self Worth!!
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”I just take a book with me everywhere. It’s a habit.” - Rory Gilmore
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Why do you feel this way? Well, the root cause is most likely your surroundings. Those around you, social media, and maybe yourself? Maybe others make you feel unimportant? Maybe social media is telling you others are more important? Or maybe your just always judging yourself? If not, take a moment to think of when you started to feel this way. Then, why you started to feel this way. You can journal this in a notebook or your notes app. Now, describe the wave of emotions you get when feeling this way. Let it all out, it’s ok. Lastly, think of how you can heal from this!
2. Mentality!! Let’s say you get bullied, harsh things are said to you I would believe. The people bullying or saying mean things to you, say you’re “unimportant.” Then those words go to your mind and you start to believe them. Next thing you know more negative words are said. So, your brain continues to believe them as if their affirmations. Your brain now doesn’t even have a say in what you think about yourself. Why? Well, because now you only live by your bullies words. What your bully thinks of you, is how you think of yourself. Now, do you really want to live your life like that? I would hope the answer is no. Ok, so you need to work on becoming secure in yourself. So secure in yourself that when someone says something about you. Guess what, YOU DON’T CARE. You need to start living by your words (and Jesus’s) instead. For example, you like your hair and someone else doesn’t? So what! You go rock that hair of yours cause you like it!!!
3. Stop Comparing Yourself!! Not everything you see and hear is real. Not everyone tells the truth. Plus, what’s the point in comparing yourself to someone your whole life? There is none. What there is, is your older self disappointed thinking back to you now. Not only your older self, your younger self too. They wouldn’t want to see you comparing yourself. I would hope, your present self doesn’t want to be comparing yourself too. In my opinion, comparing yourself is a waste of youth. You spend your whole day, week, month, year, life wasting youth. It’s pointless because it really doesn’t get you anywhere. It just continues to make you more insecure. Therefore, remove what you can that makes you compare yourself. A little example would be deleting social media! If you can remove it from your life, do it.
4. Stop Punishing Yourself!! In other words, stop being so hard on yourself. Just because you got a bad grade isn’t an excuse. Just because you did something “embarrassing” isn’t an excuse. In fact, there is no excuse for punishing yourself. Be nice to yourself instead. You deserve so so sooo much love from yourself. For that reason, give all of that love to yourself. Leave that mistake in the past. Learn to embrace your mistake too. It’s ok, you’ll be ok.
5. You’re Only Human!! If there is one thing I want you to remember from this blog. It’s that you are only human. You can’t be “perfect” and you can’t be happy all the time. Your feelings and struggles are important. We all deal with a bunch of things everyday. It’s in our nature to feel this way at times. Maybe you feel this way more than others, and thats ok. You are only human. Maybe you act different than others, and thats ok. You are only human. Maybe you hate your life, and thats ok. You’re only human. Maybe you can’t do things others can, and thats ok. You’re only human. Maybe you struggle with healing, and thats ok. You are only human. You are only human, imperfectly perfect. You can really only choose to love yourself and have fun. Oh, and remember that you’re only human.
Love you so much dolls!! Remember God loves you and stay pretty 💋🎀
“If you’re gonna let one stupid prick ruin your life, you’re not the girl I thought you were.” - Holland Taylor/Professor Stromwell (Legally Blonde)
Pinterest: @arielleslipgloss
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harmoonix · 4 months
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Chill astro notes
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🔶 People need to stop blaming one specific sign when they get cheated/hurt/etc.. in love, let's use Sag Venus for this example, a lot of people blame Sagittarius Venus for being "cheaters" but truly that doesn't mean anything, because first you need to do a synastry chart instead of reading your partners chart. Synastry chart is at least 85% on the fault why some things don't work in a relationship astrologically talking.... Not the signs from their actual birth charts
🔶 - I personally love the dynamic of Venus in the 3rd/5th/7th/11th houses, because it shows how much love they hold for their freinds and how to share it together, for some of natives this aspect can also mean that you can have friends to lovers kind of thing or your lover can be your best friend
🔶 - I have a friend with Mars in the 6th house and he literally can't stay still. He always needs to do something, i guess the natives are full of energy and don't want to take a break..
🔶 - Capricorn Placements can end up to be workaholic, it's good to work if that gives you satisfaction, but most times a break is really needed because you're human after all
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🔶 - I honestly believe that Saturn with Pisces Degrees 12°, 24° have it hard when it comes to sleeping time, they can either have problems with sleep either with not sleeping enough
🔶 - The time when you'll have your Saturn return, which happens at least 2 times in a human life, it happens to be your most challenging/transformative years of your life because it will be the year where you'll need a lot of patience to go over the test of Saturn
🔶 - I always think about how life must have been in the 1960's cus' Uranus was in Leo at that time (precisely in 1962), it must have been something totally taken out of control
🔶 - Neptune aspecting Juno asteroid (3) can end up to dream about their soulmate or future spouse, if you don't dream then probably you'll receive some signs from the universe that you'll met someone
🔶 - Moon in the 6th/8th/10th/12th house > In case no one told you, I hope you have it good and without any stress or bad thought, you'll win all your battles
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🔶 - People with Lilith - Sun aspects could have been judged a lot in the past, but you need to stay like yourself no matter what because you don't have to change based on others opinion.
🔶 - On the other hand. Lilith harshly aspecting Moon don't give a single f about others opinion, you can say whatever they want and they would not care at all. Because they live for themselves
🔶 - Taurus Sun/Moon/Rising are actually very posesive, some of them can be more than Scorpios. But one thing about them is that they know how to hide it good enough so people don't observe that
🔶 - Aquarians claim to not get jealous easy, but you can see it on their face when they're jealous or possesive, or CLINGY they have it easier with their face expressions
🔶 - Nobody loves nature more than Earth suns, earth is their own heaven and special place, now you'll probably say "well they have the earth element!" It's actually because their love and humanitarian side to love the earth this much, makes them into this
🔶 - Aquarius Placements especially Sun/Moon/Rising they are not weird as people say, the thing is nowadays... it's popular to be like some celebrities so people forgot to be their true selves, Aquarius is the sign of difference, don't let people tell you otherwise
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🔶 - If your 6th house ruler is badly aspected you can have complications with your health. For example if your 6H house ruler is Saturn or Pluto you can get sick easier than others
🔶 - I want to believe that Pluto - Moon aspects can learn a lot of things from their mother. To learn for her mistakes so they won't do the same thing again and again, which is a very good thing because less families will have generational curses to break, I mean... go girl break that curse
🔶 - Natives with South Node - Jupiter aspects may want to know more about their past. Because Jupiter wants to expand this curiosity about their past lives
🔶 - I feel like 4th house natives really really really like to give hugs to comfort others, and its truly something very sweet because nowadays the world turned into a dark stage and people forgot what kindness means
🔶 - All people get hurt when they're betrayed but for natives with the Sun or Moon in the 11th house may take it too deep and they cannot accept that they were betrayed.
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🔶 - Pisces Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus love/like to watch a lot dramas with love, or is just me who saw that? I know so many people with those placements who like to watch love dramas
🔶 - 9th house is so less talked about and honestly is a very underrated house because is the house of luck and blessings.. yet people don't talk enough about it
🔶 - Neptune in the 8H/9H houses can get obsessed with crystals, and tarot too..they mostly adore witch things just like Neptune in those houses act like a little witch
🔶 - If you have placements/planets at 1° in your birth chart, you can change things on your own, because is the power of the magician tarot card who gives this energy
🔶 - Sag Placements love to hang out quite often, they're always for "let's go in this place" mostly because they're very curious souls who want to gain experience and memories
🔶 - If you have Vertex - Juno (3) in good aspects probably you're fated to met a good person who can change your life into better, it's actually sweet
🔶 - Gemini Rising/Gemini Sun/Gemini in the 5th house can get praised for their hands/ these natives are having really good looking hands and people appreciate that
🔶 - It's something I still study about but does it happen for Sun in Capricorn natives to have things like birth marks on their skin? Because Capricorn can rule over skin too and most people with Cap Sun that I know have marks on their skin (like a birth mark)
Check this out:
It shows what body parts all these signs rule over
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🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°🔶°
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With all the love and light, yours truly ❤️🔶❤️
Harmoonix ❤️
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atinystraynstay · 3 months
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Game Night - Yoon Jeonghan
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Synopsis: Jeonghan was the type of guy who joked around, the type to be not so serious. I guess that's why you never took his flirting to be anything more than him trying to get you to laugh. Jeonghan was now determined to make you see differently.
Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x fem reader
Genre: friends to lovers! playful competitiveness with Jeonghan
Word Count: 1.8k
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"So, y/n, what are the chances of you letting me be yours for the night?" Jeonghan asked teasingly. "Maybe when you learn to stop cheating at Guess Who!" You groaned.
It was a typical Sunday night for you and Jeonghan. You two always had game nights together, ever since you can remember. Both of you were quite competitive, so you were equal competitors for one another. At this point, most of the members have given up on playing against Jeonghan anyways.
Jeonghan and you had become good friends over the past few years. However, you never believed Jeonghan was into you. He sometimes liked to flirt with people because he thrived on making people feel uncomfortable for a second before making them laugh. He definitely was a trickster.
Recently though, Jeonghan didn't see his flirting towards you as just teasing. He was starting to realize he was starting to like you. More than a friend. It took a lot to scare Jeonghan but what scared him the most was you ever finding out about his little secret. If anything, he amplified his flirting with you to try to keep his crush concealed for a little bit longer.
He was sure he would tell you eventually. He just didn't know when.
"I can't help that you are bad at dropping hints. Seriously, y/n. You make it too easy for me!"
You rolled your eyes at Jeonghan's antics. To anyone, they might find his confidence insufferable. However, to you, you found it endearing. Jeonghan was the man who could be silent when he needed to be, especially when encountering new experiences and new people. When he was comfortable and relaxed, he let his true colors shine.
You were just blessed to be one of the lucky ones who got to experience his entire rainbow.
"Okay, let's actually play this time. Honest and fair." "Honest and fair."
I his mind, the gears were turning. Sure, he wanted to win the game but he had an alternative motive. A lot was on the line.
"Have you selected who I am going to guess right?" You asked challengingly.
Jeonghan rolled his eyes playfully but he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Whenever he was around you, he found himself smiling brighter than ever before. You just managed to pull that side out of him oh so easily.
He also has never encountered someone who was maybe just as competitive as he was.
"Yeah, angel. I'm ready to watch you get frustrated. You're really cute when you get flustered, you know? I always love the way your nose scrunches up and you get a bit red in the face." "That doesn't happen,' you lied. "Oh right, it doesn't when it is with anyone else. I guess I just have that effect over you," he snickered.
You could feel your cheeks heating up the more he spoke. It didn't help he was staring you down with that smug grin on his face.
God, why does he have to be so damn attractive?
"Shut up," you muttered. "Let's just play, ok?"
He leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest. He was easily amused by how easily he could make you crumble.
One of the very first things that Jeonghan noticed about you was how independent you were. You weren't afraid to call people out on their bullshit, and always felt the freedom to voice your opinion. You weren't the type of person who needed to rely on others to do something.
It was quite the treat to watch you lose your train of thought if he just looked at you. You often forgot what you were going to say the moment Jeonghan said something flirtatious to you. He almost didn't register the possibility of you liking him back until he noticed how you looked away to try to conceal the wide smile on your lips and pink blush coating your cheeks.
The two of you have been doing this waltz around confessing your feelings for a while now. And frankly, Jeonghan was getting tired of playing that game. He wanted something new.
"Pretty ladies first," Jeonghan announced.
There you go again, blushing at his words. It was almost too easy.
"Does your person have facial hair?"
He took a moment to act as if he he had to think about it. You raised an eyebrow, knowing that he was up to something but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.
"Oh come on, Hannie, we just started. There's no way you forgot already who your character is," you teased.
His heart fluttered every time you called him that petname. A lot of people called him Hannie. But when you say it? It was music to his ears. It made him feel all warm and tingly at the prospective of him being exclusively yours and you being all his.
"No, my character doesn't. I was just trying to make you annoyed again," he snickered.
You rolled your eyes but kept a light smile on your lips. Anyone else would be underneath your skin, but he just had this way of finding his antics endearing. Your pointer finger got to work at flipping down the 8 characters you successfully eliminated.
"So, my sweet girl," he began. Oh, here we go. "Does your character have glasses?"
You smirked as he guessed incorrectly. You looked up at him with this look of amusement on your face. Honestly, he has never found you more attractive than when you let your competitive side free. He liked a challenge.
And getting to be your man was his greatest challenge yet.
"No strike, buddy. Better luck next time."
You and Jeonghan continued going back and forth like this for a few rounds. Jeonghan had still had six character cards flipped up, whereas you only had one. You were about to go in for the kill.
"Is your person Charlotte?"
Finally! You beat Jeonghan!
"Oh, I'm sorry. That's incorrect," he smirked.
Your eyes grew wide as they flickered between the game board and Jeonghan. That was impossible. You had literally one character card left. Your eyes narrowed on him as he just sat there with a wide grin on his lips. He had his elbows resting on the table as he watched I amusement.
"You said honest and fair this time," you whined. "And I have been honest! You were asking for my person, and all the things you were asking did not match up with who I selected." "Oh really now? Okay smartass, prove it."
Gladly.
Very slowly, Jeonghan got up to make his way over to you. You raised an eyebrow, but with each step he took towards you, your heart beats faster and harder. What was he doing? You wanted to question him but you were drawn speechless. Again. Only Yoon Jeonghan could make you tongue-tied. It was as if you were glued to your seat too as you watched him make the short journey from his end of the table towards yours.
"I'll describe my person to you. Maybe you accidentally flipped them down."
His voice was now softer, almost deeper. What is going on? All you could do was nod your head, eyes trained on him in anticipation.
"My person also has these eyes that quite literally are like two disco balls. They capture whatever light is reflected into them. I can't even tell you what color their eyes are because I've never see a shade like it before. But it is my favorite color." He had now approached your side the table, leaning against it as he looked down at you. "And just as bright of a smile to match."
You wanted to melt into a puddle before him with how warm and fuzzy he makes you feel by just doing the simplest of things. It wasn't fair.
"My person has long hair. Sometimes they curl it, somewhat they straighten it. Each time though, I want to run my fingers through it."
As he spoke, he lifted on hand to run through your hair. He tucked a few strands behind your ear. His fingertips moved forward until they grazed against your cheek. He didn't miss the opportunity to cup your cheek, keeping your head tilted up towards him so you couldn't look away no matter how badly you got flustered.
"My person also has this infectious laughter that makes me want to know every little joke, every little secret they might have. She also has this adventurous, competitive side of her that is so attractive. I think you two would get along just fine," he winked.
Your lips were slightly parted as you gazed up at him. This had to be a dream, right? There was no way this was actually happening.
"Y/n, you asked for my person. It's been you this whole time," he whispered.
For the first time, he seemed almost at a loss for words. It as if he couldn't believe he actually confessed to you. And now that his feelings were out in the open, he was afraid of the repercussions of being so vulnerable with you. His biggest fear was losing you, and he was afraid he was heading in that direction.
Slowly, you stood up. In fear, Jeonghan removed his hand from your face. Fuck, how can I fix this?
Instead, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he didn't hesitate to hold your waist. He looked at you with excitement now in eyes, almost like a little boy on Christmas Day. You couldn't help but giggle at how adorable he looked.
"What are you waiting for, Hannie? You've got me where you've always wanted to me," you whispered.
He didn't need to be told twice. Ever so gently, as if you were made out of glass, he pressed his lips against yours. He couldn't fight the smile that grew on his lips. He squeezed your hips affectionately before pulling you in closer. You tilted your head at the right angle to kiss him deeply, without holding back anymore.
The feeling was indescribable. It was a mixture of joy and relief, knowing that years of pining after you finally amounted to this moment. He could really let every emotion, every thought of you free and not just dwell in his mind. And the best part was that it was reciprocated.
You were the one to break the kiss at first but kept your face close to his. You wore a similar goofy smile, just as in disbelief that you kissed not only your best but but the man of your dreams.
"I can't believe you used a board game to confess your feelings to me." "But it looks like I won after all," he smirked.
You rolled your eyes playfully before leaning up to press your lips against his again.
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sereniv · 2 years
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i mean whats hard to understand that there is like probably no religion or culture where its stayed exactly the same for years and no one within those culture and religion has different views
and BECAUSE a whole culture or religion is diverse in people and not clones, then only said individuals can determine what is needed to be connected to their culture or religion.
if you try and tell them no, they are wrong and they DON'T need something- then you are saying that your view is the right view- even with evidence or morals attached. which has never been a good thing
Bc again im talking individuals.
If someone feels it connects them to their god to use an animal or ties them to their culture, you have to accept that
bc like i know animals are sentient. but at the end of the day if there was a cute kitten and a human child and you had to save one im sure majority of people would save the human.
that doesnt mean they are less than. but if someone regardless of knowing sentience, personally feels that is needed to connect, to eat them or use them then you have to draw a line on who you accept and who you dont
if its for survival but not anything else then what counts as survival? for you to not die? because taking away someones personal way of connecting to their culture or religion could end up in their death.
which is why those ppl can do wtvr the fuck they want, and could even still be called vegan if they are doing what they can
bc im not about to draw lines on cultures and religions im not part of. that i have no idea others connection and spirituality and history and even whether or not their religion is real
like it ties in with being a smaller part of the population, hat in the future, would continue using animals
if we were to fix economy and the enviroment and distribution of everything and education and alternatives for animal products and everything is rainbows
there would still be some people that require that/need animal use in their INDIVIDUAL view on their culture or religion. like you could even say scientifically. because emotions and mental health etc
anyway im really high rn i hope this is coherent
and idk i just feel like recognizing those people who need animals, helps them feel more comfortable and not judged
whether they end up vegan (vegan society definition) or not, they can maybe not actively fight against us bc of what they think veganism is.
and not as some strategy to lure people in, i just genuinely love people. and i support marginalized cultures and religions??
again
every culture and religion ia going to have someone who does things differently or has a different view. thats how things become traditions and part of a culture these things didnt pop out of thin air
but you cant force it or else thats colonialism and that is bad 👎
Anyway i support the vegans that are already doing the most, yet still have/need to use animals. And that includes your individual view about your culture/religion.
i hope this makes sense
#vegan ref#like with FGM obviously im against that right. like you can disagree with culture or religion#And i would even fight for that. more so support those fighting for it. but there are laws for that. and people fighting for laws#within the culture or religion. thats the important thing.#i would only have opinions if there were no people within the religion or culture standing up and fighting for change#bc its not about my opinions. its about what the group of ppl want#bc there will always be someone who wants change even if its esting breakfast for dinner#so now breafast food is viewed as an anytime food.#but honestly. undocumented tribes who have or curently cannibalize. i can see it as wrong. but im not#wrong to kill someone i guess. i actually have no opinion bc im not in their shoes#un contacted*#but im not going to go there like some missionary and force my moral views on them. like even if it were a case of sacrifice or wtvr#so wheres the line drawn? un contacted tribes are off limits. but not everyone else and its like whats your reasoning#its ok for someone to hunt an animal for food but if that food is purely spiritual? how can you say then mental health doesnt count#its just like colonialism#like im not giving anyone a pass im just kind of broadening my scope outside my own experiences#idk how more i can explain#also when i say i have no opinion on canibalism it falls under 'is it possible and practical ' lol. bc literally#everyones situation is different#everyone is different#to make it so everyone has a more similar experience and situation then u just work on changing things around u#easy peasy. takes forever
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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 3 months
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My dear lgbt+ kids, 
So, you have been in a relationship for a while and you’re ready and eager to take the next step - but your partner isn’t. What now? 
The “next step” I’m referring to here could mean a lot of different things because relationships do not all follow one specific timeline (and also because my readers may be of wildly different ages and live in wildly different situations) but I am thinking of any “deepening our commitment” things here: for example introducing them to your friends or your family, moving in together or (if you are in a situation where that’s a legal possibility) even marriage or having a child together. 
Whatever the step actually looks like, you may have this romantic idea of “If they’re right for you, you’ll always naturally want to take these steps at the same time”… but that’s not really how relationships work in real life. Even in the healthiest relationship and even if you absolutely feel like they’re your soulmate, you may still disagree on when to take those steps or even on whether you want to take these steps at all. 
In fact, it’s uniquely frustrating if everything else is going well. If their refusal to meet your mom is just another point on the long list of behaviors that make you feel like they don’t really care about you, that’s also painful but it’s easier to give advice there: maybe you should think about breaking up. It’s tempting to believe that you can make them love you more if you move in with them or that they’ll treat you better once you get engaged, but that won’t work out. You can’t fix a broken relationship by deepening the commitment - commitment needs a stable foundation to grow. And this doesn’t only go for outright abusive relationships: they may be a wonderful person but you two just have entirely different goals and needs, and those won’t suddenly overlap more just because you moved in with them or married them. 
With all that being said: if there IS a healthy and stable foundation, if you are happy in every other aspect and they’re just hesitant about this one specific step, then jumping straight to “break up with them” would obviously be pretty unhelpful advice. Differing opinions occur even in the most compatible couple, you are both whole people with your own individual feelings and those do not necessarily doom the whole relationship. It’s important to see this situation in the context of the relationship in general. 
You may be able to guess that a big portion of the advice is just gonna be “Communicate with your partner” - but first of all, I’d advise you to have an open and honest conversation with yourself. Why is this step of commitment so important to you? What does it mean to you? Do you feel a sense of urgency in taking it and if so, why? Is this specific step the only possible path for your need to be met? Are you open to alternative approaches, are you open to waiting (and if so, for how long)? The purpose of these questions is definitely not to convince yourself to give up on your needs or to talk yourself into a compromise you’re not really happy with! The opposite of that, actually: It’s helpful to reflect on what exactly you want and why you want it, so you have the clarity you need to discuss it productively. You don’t want to agree to something that ultimately leaves you unsatisfied and bitter, but you also don’t want to push hard for something you later on realize doesn’t even mean that much to you. 
When you feel confident enough about your own stance to discuss it with your partner, the most important thing to remember is: you’re on the same team. The goal here isn’t to “win” or to change their mind, but to see each others perspective better and find a solution you’re both happy with. Listen with an open mind. Try to understand before you try to influence. Remind yourself that your partner isn’t your enemy, they also want the best outcome for both of you - otherwise you (hopefully) wouldn’t want to commit to them! 
Something you should get clarification on during your conversations: is it a hard no (do not want to do that at all ever), a soft no (open to alternatives or adjustments), a no for now (want to do it but not yet), a yes but (want to do it but only under certain circumstances or in a different way than your original plan) or a I don’t know? How does this affect your feelings on the situation? (I’m sure that even just while reading these different scenarios, some instinctively feel better or worse than others! But it’s still important to take some time to sit with any new information that comes up during those conversations. Neither of you should feel pressured or rushed here!) 
You may find that they just never considered that there may be multiple approaches to that step (an example for this would be that they are not actually opposed to the idea of being married to you, just to the idea of a wedding, and didn’t consider yet that eloping is also a possibility) - but don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting the conversation to 100% go that way. It may also be a hard no, and that wouldn’t make them a horrible person. People can deeply, truly love someone and still do not want to take certain steps with them. It’s a good idea to remind yourself that you’re not “in the right” or “the better person” for wanting to take those steps. While certain steps may be a big part of your own future plans or even of your identity and self-image (and that’s valid!), they are just personal preferences. It’s not a moral obligation to want them, and your partner isn’t mean for not wanting them. But, of course, at this point we also need to say: if you can not imagine a life where you never get married, you are not a horrible person for breaking up with a partner who can not imagine to ever marry. “Irreconcilable differences” are a common breakup reason for a reason. 
So, to summarize: Building a strong foundation is crucial before taking big steps. Communicate openly with yourself first - understand why you want to take this step and if there are alternatives. When talking to your partner, remember you're a team; it's not about winning but understanding each other. Be open to different responses, from a clear no to conditions on a yes. Do not pressure your partner but do not completely give up on your own happiness either. 
The journey of commitment should be a shared adventure - not a battle or a competitive race! 
With all my love, 
Your Tumblr Dad 
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daytaker · 4 months
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The Gang React to You Saying You Hate Them
As a disclaimer, I'm going to say that these are reactions to you saying it and meaning it, not just being silly or dramatic. However, I'm also kind of assuming in most cases that this is NOT you saying "I am terminating our relationship entirely and this hate thing is a permanent situation."
The rest of the characters are below the cut.
Lucifer
"Very well. You're entitled to your opinion."
Depending on the situation, he might just shrug it off. It isn't like he hasn't dealt with his fair share of unfair whining from people who are upset with him. It would probably take a pretty emotionally charged situation for him to actually take you seriously.
In that case, he probably wouldn't quite know what would be best to do. He'd give you your space, but generally speaking, his demeanor wouldn't be significantly different. If things remain tense for more than a few days, he'll probably attempt to do the mature thing and sit down with you for a conversation to talk through your differences.
Mammon
"Pfft! No ya don't!"
Stage 1. Denial. You're so full of it. You couldn't possibly hate him, the Great Mammon, the first demon you ever made a pact with. You're just blowing off some steam. You'll get over it in a minute or two.
Stage 2. Anger. It's been a minute or two. You aren't backing down. Well, whatever! He isn't gonna sit around and let some whiny human talk shit about him! So he's going to maturely stomp to his room and maturely slam the door and maturely turn up some music obnoxiously loud.
Stage 3. Bargaining. Brooding has done whatever good it might have done, so he'll start to think of ways to change your mind about hating him. He's really an awesome guy, so it shouldn't be that hard. Obviously, the best way to let someone know you care is by spending money on them. So he'll go out on the town with a credit card and max it out on objects that are very pretty and shiny but really aren't your taste. (The fact that Mammon's taste is not the same as everyone else's taste mystifies him.)
Stage 4. Depression. The shopping trip having earned him nothing but abuse from Lucifer, he'll spend some time cooped up in his room and mope and sulk but definitely not cry, because how pathetic do you think he is? He ain't cryin' over one puny human!
Stage 5. Acceptance? Wait just a minute. You're so full of it. You couldn't possibly hate him, the Great Mammon, the first demon you ever made a pact with. He should stop sulking and go talk to you. Definitely not to beg you to forgive him or anything, but maybe if you squinted, it might look like that. Please don't hate him. Please?
Leviathan
"...I guess I should have known."
This is one of the choices that leads you straight to a bad ending. Ignoring him is one thing. Teasing him is another thing. Snapping at him when you're annoyed hurts, but he can justify it. But if you tell Levi you hate him, it will take a monumental amount of effort to undo that damage.
He'll probably assume you've always hated him, and that your friendliness was all an act. He won't be willing to take you at your word if you if you try and tell him that you didn't mean it, because how is he supposed to know that you aren't lying this time?
Satan
If he's (relatively) calm:
"You don't actually mean that. You sound like a child."
His reaction is a little bit like Lucifer's in this case; he'll leave you alone for awhile and not try to keep up the conversation. He won't really believe you actually hate him either. But he is a lot more insecure than Lucifer, so there's a part of him that nags at him... What if they actually hate you? He'll probably be irritable and difficult to approach when those thoughts are especially prevalent. Unfortunately, this is the sort of situation where Satan is immobilized by conflicting thoughts on what's going on, so it will probably be up to you to start a conversation and talk about whatever happened.
If he's very angry:
"Get out of here if you don't want to get hurt."
Whether that's a threat or a warning can be up to interpretation. I imagine that, as the Avatar of Wrath, there's a part of him that feeds on hate, so if Satan was a different sort of character, he'd say something like 'You fool! You're only increasing my power level!' But Satan being Satan, he'll spend some time in whatever room you've left him in and trash it before he calms down, feels extremely ashamed, sulks and/or broods for awhile at a complete loss for how to fix things without rolling over and looking completely pathetic, and, quite possibly, works himself up into another burst of rage from sheer frustration.
Ultimately, he'll probably be more comfortable talking things out through texts than in person (or starting the conversation with a text, then speaking face to face).
Asmodeus
"Hahaha... What...?"
He won't believe you for a second! Partly because, silly, of course you don't hate him, but also because his worldview does not allow for the possibility that someone he cares about might hate him. If he even considers the possibility that you might possibly, hypothetically mean it, he's in for an entire, earth-shattering identity crisis.
If you don't apologize pretty quickly or at least amend the statement to something he can accept, Asmo will head up to his room and hole up in there for awhile, obsessively tracking his social media accounts and pampering himself in the bathroom. You're lying, though. Look at this face! It's impossible to truly hate a face as beautiful as his.
Beelzebub
"Oh... Sorry..."
First he'll look like a deer in the headlights, and then he'll look like a kicked puppy. If he understands what led you to say this, he'll try and fix it, but if he doesn't, he will... (Select an answer below.)
A) Play video games with Levi. B) Go clubbing with Asmo. C) Eat. D) Learn to break dance.
If you guessed C) Eat, then you've been paying attention during your Obey Me! lessons.
And honestly. Honestly! Why would you say something like that? Maybe he's not your favorite brother, but we all know it's simply not possible to actually hate Beel. We all know you're full of it. So knock it off.
Belphie
"...Beel, did you hear something?"
Yep, Belphie is going to pull out all the pettiness he can scrounge up. He believes that the best defense is a good offense, and he's a pro. He'll act haughty and unbothered, ignoring you and looking entirely unbothered between sulking sessions under the covers.
Pettiness aside, you have, knowingly or otherwise, tapped into a source of deep anxiety in your relationship with Belphie. He has not forgotten the whole...incident that took place when you freed him from the attic. He knows that, reasonably, you probably should hate him, and it's amazing to him that you don't seem like you do.
Once tempers have cooled, it might be worthwhile to talk over what happened back then, just the two of you. It was pushed aside too quickly, and you both probably have things you wish you'd said.
Diavolo
"It seems I've upset you. Please know that I never meant to offend you."
He'll see that you're angry with him and give you your space, but he won't be as torn up about this as some of the others. Why? He simply won't believe you.
He has seen your soul, and it is not the soul of a hater.
Barbatos
"Oh?"
Yeah, get in line. Considering the amount of time travel shenanigans this guy has probably pulled, I have no doubt he has amassed more than his fair share of enemies. More than that, he already knows this is just you blowing off steam. Like Diavolo and Lucifer, this is just water off a duck's back.
Although, depending on how irritated he's feeling at the time of the incident, he may or may not wear a smirk as he gives his noncommittal response. Barbatos might be the man with the multiverse in the palm of his hand, but he is not above being petty. Watch your back for a few days.
Solomon
"Ah... It seems I've hit a nerve! I think I'll give you some time to cool down."
He'll back off and leave you to manage your anger in peace. Then he'll settle in to focus on some project or another that requires his undivided attention. He doesn't want to deal with all the unpleasantness that your words stirred up. Honestly, didn't he get past this sort of thing a few centuries ago? What's a little spat between friends? You don't actually hate him; not after all he's done for you. He can't possibly be feeling insecure...?
Nope, all he's feeling is itchy because of the toxic gas that's starting to pour out of his cauldron. He should open a window.
The Angels
I can't even do Simeon and Luke, because they'd both just be so confused and sad that I'm not sure where I'd go with it besides scolding you for being a bully. You don't just say "I hate you" to angels who are either extremely sweet and attractive or actual children.
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adventuringblind · 9 months
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If You Don't Want the Truth, then Don't Ask
Oscar Piastri x Autistic!Reader
Genre: fluff
Request: kinda...? People want more of this content, so who am I to deny them? My requests are open! Please don't hesitate to send me ideas!
Summary: One thing that Oscar loves most about her is that she's always honest. Unfortunately, it seems not everyone has learned that.
Warnings: Media being toxic, the reader gets frustrated at not understanding human behavior
Notes: written in third person
Masterlist
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Oscar had fallen in love with her honesty. He never had to guess at her opinions on things or dance around subjects himself.
It was a reprieve from always being coached in media to finally not having to filter himself.
Anyone who had gotten close to her knew one rule she had: if you don't want an honest answer, then don't ask.
She struggles communicating with vocal tones. People often mistake her opinion for being judgemental. It makes her feel unable to speak up for herself. It was never her intention to cause problems. She was just saying her truth.
Emotional communication is even more difficult. She always manages to say the wrong thing. Oscar didn't believe this and felt comforted when she talked him through the truth of the day. But if she was struggling with words and emotions, she opted to communicate via physical touch.
She'd developed a code for human behaviors she didn't quite understand.
When charles was upset about a race, she hugged him. When Oscar was smiling, she kissed his cheek. When Max was being lectured by his father, she stuck her middle finger up at Jos. When Lando couldn't eat his food, she gave him one of her snacks that he also liked.
It became more natural to the grid the more she did these things.
Unfortunately for the fans and the media, they hadn't figured it out. It was ridiculous in everyone's minds how they never learned their lesson.
A picture started circling the internet once of her kissing Lando's cheek after an amazing race. She knew it was a happy moment but was too overwhelmed to deal with words. Oscar knew she did this to anyone she was comfortable with and knew she was loyal. She'd expressed repeatedly why she loved him and not Lando. Oscar only laughed as she went down her very pointed list of reasons why Oscar was better. Earning a pout from the Brit.
The fans started calling her all sorts of nasty names. It hurt her a little, but Oscar even more. He'd expressed multiple times to his fans not to involve her in drama.
Race weekend got a bit awkward. Journalists wanted to ask the two questions. Oscar was quick to deny them attention and left for free practice.
The nerospicy femal, however, was not as lucky. Somone found her hiding in the garage.
"Are you aware of the photo going around social media right now?" The female reporter asked her.
She hesitated for a moment, trying to find her voice. "Yes." The reporter waited a minute for her to elaborate only to receive silence.
She clears her throat. "Do you have any thoughts about it? Are the rumors true?"
She stares again for a moment. "I think you people are bored and want to pick apart someone else's life instead of your own."
It was the reporters turn to stay in silence. "That may be true for some." She fumbles. "But the concern of the fans is that you'll have a negative effect on the McLaren racing drivers."
"I think the fans you speak of are niave then. Not every human being is the same. I'm in love with Oscar, not Lando, as simple as that. Just because my affection looks different doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong." The girl shrugs her shoulders. Simply stating a fact of herself.
The reporter leaves in silence. No other words were shared between them.
Oscar saw the article the next day. They were getting ready to head to the track for FP3 and qualifying. "Have you seen this article?" He asked.
"No, what article?" Oscar flips his phone to her. The reporter from yesterday had written an article about their conversation. Interestingly enough, it was exactly what she had said. The journalist was impressed with her honesty and approach to toxic rumors.
Oscar kissed her cheek. "I'm so proud of you."
~
The next time it happened was during an interview in the fan zone. She'd been standing off to the side with the other McLaren staff who follow them around. She likes listening to the fans ask the boys questions.
Then a fan asked a question about her. "Oscar, why is your girlfriend mean to the reporters?"
Both Oscar and Lando rolled their eyes. "She's here right now if you want an honest answer." Oscar smirked.
It was terrifying when Oscar and Lando were waving her up to the stage. She waited for the approval of the staff and security before exchanging seats with the Australian.
He looked so please she was up there. "The fans want to know why you're so 'mean' to the reporters, as they put it." The two boys were laughing hysterically now.
"I personally don't think it's mean. If they don't want an honest answer, then they shouldn't be asking questions." She shrugged. "Is there a specific time you're referring too?"
"When the vouge journalists asked if you were hiding something because you wear loose clothing."
Lando perked up instantly. "This is one of my favorite moments. We went out and got her favorite dinner after this to celebrate."
"Firtly, the reporter had no business asking that. I don't like it when my clothes feel weird and I was already overwhelmed so I wore what I thought was comfortable." Oscar put his arm around her. A hint of pride edging its way across his features. "Secondly, the didn't put the whole story. The reporter asked if I was pregnant, and then when I said no, he proceeded to ask me if I was wearing anything underneath."
"The comeback is the best part."
"I was confused why he asked me this, so I asked if he had anything underneath the hideous mask he was wearing. Then he called me rude." She frowned, but the fans were enjoying the story.
Oscar glances at Lando. "You should tell the next part."
Lando is still chuckling from the last statement. "I was coming around the corner and heard her say that, then I couldn't stop laughing. So obviously I joined in as well."
The other two were shaking their heads at Lando in exasperation as he continued. "When I came up next to her, she asked why he would ask something like that. It's a pretty common question between us, so I explained why he did it and why he shouldn't do it."
"Then he insulted him some more."
Oscar finishes out the story and also laughs at this point. "Most of the things in the article were what Lando said. The others were what she did say. Including asking if this was his way of flirting and turned him down on his advances."
She always missed social cues, and she'd heard some of the drivers flirt by asking what someone had on underneath their clothing. It was a genuine assumption.
Oscar found it most amusing as Lando recounted the story for the first time that evening. She had looked mildly dazed, frustrated, and confused. Oscar took the time, in between laughing, to explain some of the nuances she didn't understand. Including why they were laughing so hard.
~
Next came a conversation with Zak.
The boys were doing media things, so he'd started to try and make conversation with her.
He was a person who did not understand that she's autistic and communicates different then he was expecting. Normally, Oscar or Lando was here to help things flow, but now she was going to need to swim on her own.
"Have you been enjoying Monaco?" He asked.
She played with her fingers to help her brain stay present. Something she often did to stim when she didn't want it to be noticeable. "It's cozy when it's not race weekend. I think the race has made it crowded."
He looked a little surprised. "Do you not like crowds? I thought you did since you come to most of the races."
"Seeing them is fine. Being trapped in them is difficult."
"That's a little odd of a perspective, don't you think?" He laughed. "I feel like you either enjoy the crowds or you hate them."
She didn't understand what he meant by that. Didn't she just say what she thought? Why was he asking the same question? "Factually, I think you can enjoy seeing a crowd, like on TV, and also become claustrophobic when in one."
He didn't know how to respond. The staring became awkward for him as he tried to respond. She just waited. Assuming he had now understood her point. Then he came up with an excuse as to why he needed to duck out of the conversation.
Zak asked Oscar about it later. To which the Australian internally face-palmed. Then, he proceeded to explain the unspoken role.
Zak apologized the next day if he made her uncomfortable. She just looked between him and Oscar. Hoping for an answer as to how he could've done that.
It took a while, but they finally got their. Now Zak goes to her if he ever wants an honest opinion on something.
~
The most recent time actually hurt her. She spent days inside her and Oscar's room. Struggling to eat, sleep, and communicate.
She was lucky that Oscar was around to help her through this. His frustration almost overwhelming his own mind.
Two weeks ago, they had been in Silverstone. It was an amazing race, and she felt happy that she got to share it with him.
She had been making friends with the other WAG's around the paddock. So when Oscar was pulled away, she went to find someone to hang out with until they finished.
She found Kika and Lily in the Williams hospitality. It was warm in the building, so when she sat down with them, she decided to get comfortable and took off her sweatshirt.
Her shirt that day was not the usual baggy t-shirt and jeans. Today's she was wearing a crop-top that showed her stomach, but she felt cute and confident, and Oscar complimented her on it the entire morning. He said she looked good when she's comfortable and that's what matters to him.
Her body was not the ideal body type that meets the standard beauty criteria. Frankly, she didn't care.
She's healthy. She's comfortable. Oscar has said daily that he loves her as she is.
She wasn't expecting the fans in hospitality to ask her anything about it.
When she got up to get water, a few young women approached her. This had happened before, and she assumed they wanted to ask about Oscar or know of they could get a picture with him.
She assumed wrong.
"How come you're not wearing what you normally do?"
"Because I felt comfortable in this today."
"I think the other style suits you better. Don't you think?"
"I don't have a style. This is just comfortable."
"Is this because Oscar likes it better?"
"No, he likes it when I'm comfortable."
She was trying to keep up. All the questions flying at her rapidly. The music was reverberating off the wall. The hospitality staff were cleaning and packing.
Her head started to spin. Her hands flew up to cover her ears. She was going to cry if she didn't get out.
She was thankful the Kika and Lily noticed and got her out of the area. Blocking anyone from speaking to her and ignoring those who tried to stop them.
They ran into Oscar on the way to somewhere quiet. He immediately placed his hands over hers to try and help block out more sound until he could get her to her headphones.
Kika and Lily explained what happened. The females asking her questions were not understanding why she was giving them the same answer. Their intentions were unknown, but it was obvious she looked uncomfortable and cornered in that moment.
So he led her away into his driver room and told her she could lock the door and he'd come get her when it was time to leave. She obliged, turning off the lights to help her senses.
She curled up in the corner and soothed herself until Oscar came back.
Someone had taken a video of the encounter, and people started asking questions about her. Why does she do the things she does? It didn't make any sense to them. It made her frustrated because they made her out to be an alien on her own planet.
Her body couldn't take it anymore. She stayed in her corner with the lights off and shut out the world.
Except for Oscar. He sat in the dark with her. They ate meals on the floor. He helped her bathe in the dark. She felt so lucky to have found someone who understands and cares as much as he does.
His PR team was trying to do something about the video. It wasn't right for it to be posted, and McLaren was doing what they could, but It wasn't enough.
So Oscar took matters into his own hands. He decided to answer all their questions. With her permission, of course.
She cried when she read it. He was happy that she felt safe enough with him to let herself unmask, but he wanted her to be able to unmask anywhere. They were taking a step in the right direction, and they both ate comfort food that night.
Instagram story message because idk how people do SMAU's: "I want to take a minute to address the video that was posted about my girlfriend recently. My girlfriend is Autistic, meaning that things can become overwhelming easily. You might not understand everything she does, but you don't have to. She is her own person and has her own life. What she answers to questions is her truth. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.
-Oscar
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onlyseokmins · 1 year
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show and tell • l.s.m.
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Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), best friends/idiots to lovers!au Warnings: swearing, lotssss of teasing/switch dynamics, tickling, reader is obsessed w/ seokmin's body, they're idiots your honor and they're a lil bit in L-word 🤮, mingyu thrown under the bus as always, ONE BAD PUN BC I THINK I'M FUNNY, sex is as silly as me, BIG COCK SEOK 🗣️ like he's fucking huge okay, oral (both rec. kind of), attempt at 69 but seok's a menace the entire time, fingering, CRYING/TEARS, possession, biting, marking, multiple orgasms, squirting, lil bit of cumplay ig?, mentions of prev partners, overstim... i think that's it lmk if i missed smth 🥵😰 WC: 6.5k A/N: um so this is the most self-indulgent thing i dared to post you're WELCOME i shall now go die in a hole to never be seen ever again... happy belated birthday to the loml ugh ty to all the frens that let me sob in their dms and to @onlymingyus for helping me with a damn title 💖
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The commonly shared belief among your friend group was that Seokmin is abnormally soft when it comes to you.
You thought they were full of shit. 
The bestest buddy in the world was also the softest ray of morning sunshine to ever exist in general. You could barely count on one hand the number of people he genuinely ever showed disdain towards or didn't get along with. All in all — it was extremely hilarious in your opinion because Seokmin's fluffy personality greatly contrasted with his lean, sharp physique. 
Ironically, the main reason you ended up in this position.
Just moments before, you were on his bed and caged between his arms. The dog tag necklace you'd gifted, engraved with his birth date and initials, swinging in the same rhythm that your heart rapidly beats with the small space separating your bodies. A sly grin raises the corners of his lips, the long fingers of his left-hand creeping up to trail lightly at your sides.
"I know you have abs."
Seokmin's hands fly up to wrap defensively around his body, though all in good jest. "You can't just ask a dude how many abs he has!"
"And you can't lie to me by saying you don't have any! Do you know how many of your dude-bros have blabbed about your crazy gym routine to me? Can you even guess how many girls bitched at me 'cause you weren't shirtless at my pool party? As if that's my fault?"
"But it's mine?"
"No, all I have to do is prove them wrong. So, show me the goods!"
You sucked at making up your mind — what to eat, what to wear, what to watch, what to do — okay, but who doesn't? It's something Seokmin was very familiar with, hence him always having to pick up wherever you left off. He also knows just as well that once you've settled on something, you'll see it through to the very end. Eventually. 
Which normally works out in his favor except in moments like now. So he resorts to a different preventative measure — tickling the decisiveness right out of you.
Like hell you'll let him do what he wants.
Maybe the whispers about him being soft for you were right. After all, it's to your utter benefit when you push at his shoulder. Only a bit unbalanced, he easily falls onto his side and you scramble to climb on top of him at record speed, one arm pinning Seokmin's wrists against the pillow beneath his head. 
Unfortunately, this looks like one of your 3,718,493,842 very bad choices in life. Once again, something you didn't think all the way through. Sure, you've bested Seokmin at light wrestling and play-fighting before — back when you were toddlers and all he did was cry.
Now, at adult ages, it seems like a horrible, terrible, very bad idea to have him beneath you. Your fingers play with the hem of his black t-shirt that's ridden up ever so slightly, unbearablely close to the leather band of his silver belt buckle. 
Seokmin's pupils are blown wide as he looks up at you with a strange, almost starry-eyed look of surprise. Black bangs flipped up across the dark gray of his blanket, silver chain askew shining against his collarbones, mouth slightly ajar.
Suddenly you're hyper-aware of sitting right on top of him, completely obliterating the distance between your bodies earlier, and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination from what you can feel nestled in between your legs. 
"Would it be inappropriate of me to take your shirt off right now?" you can't help but ask.
He laughs, all breathless and high-pitched like he does when he's nervous. "You're asking for permission?"
"Seokmin," you whine and shift your hips in protest without thinking. Another bad move. Oops. "I'm trying to be polite."
"You have me pinned to my bed with the intent to strip me and you're worried about being polite?"
"Oh, please, you could easily break free."
It's true. His wrists twitch a bit under your grasp, almost like he's attempting to do just that but you're faster once more. Or he's just letting you have your way with him. Whatever the case, your other hand firmly holds both of his down which only brings your faces closer together.
"Don't move."
"Okay," Seokmin agrees and licks his lips, "at least you know what consent means."
"Are you consenting?"
"Depends on what to."
"Me taking off your shirt."
"… Should I be flattered?"
"Very."
Brown eyes close, his brow furrowing. For a minute, you think you've accidentally taken things too far and are about to quickly apologize and backpedal before things backfire until his lips quirk up and Seokmin snorts.
"Never imagined you'd be stripping me like this."
You would agree because what the hell? All this for some abs? But the way he says it makes you pause.
"Have you imagined this before?"
Expecting him to panic or something, you're even more taken aback when he bites his lip like he's holding back more laughter. 
"And what if I have? You'll be offended even if I lie." 
You narrow your eyes challengingly while his sparkle. "Are you… flirting with me?" 
"That is not how I flirt but okay." 
"You're being weird. Weird weird. Like super-duper weird." 
"Says the one soaking my jeans, right now." 
You want to scream. Instead, you let out a scandalized gasp, eyes widening. The effort it takes to bolt away means you must release Seokmin. Something that doesn't even cross your mind with the shame heating up your cheeks, mortification setting off every sirening alarm in your nervous system.
Your first mistake.
Countless other mistakes will be made after this, but looking back — could they really be watered down to just a mistake after the end results? Why you're even so embarrassed in the first place is beyond you. And your best friend has zero intentions of letting you get away from him.
The minute Seokmin's hands are freed, one flies to keep your hips pressed against his while the other gently braces your back. Lifting his torso up with insane core strength he clearly was lying about not having, you have no choice but to wrap an arm instinctively around his neck like a koala. Your other hand curls into a fist, clinging against the fabric straining with the flex of his chest muscles while simultaneously attempting to push him back in a futile effort.
"Breathe," Seokmin murmurs in mild concern. His eyes crinkle as he smiles encouragingly. "Breathe for me, babe."
You hadn't even realized you were holding your breath. If you inched any closer forward, your nose would brush against his, and leaning too far back would end up with him on top of you again.
"This is all your fault, babe."
"You're the one that started this in the first place, babe."
"All I wanted was to see your abs," your voice drops to a pathetic whisper, "babe."
"All you had to do was ask, silly."
"I did!"
To your horror, he leans in even closer with a devious smirk so his nose brushes tenderly against yours. "For yourself. Not others."
"What… what are you playing at Seokmin?"
"It's like you misinterpret everything I do on purpose."
"I — "
"If you think I'm just playing around you're sorely mistaken."
A beat of silence. "Then what are you doing?"
"Nothing," he says innocently even though the hand on your back trails upwards and not-so-innocently unclasps the bra underneath your shirt. 
Your jaw drops. Of course, your modest top is still on and the shoulder straps keep your undergarment in place. Yet, you feel naked with the way Seokmin shamelessly ogles your covered chest and lets out a satisfied groan, pleased that you weren't wearing a sports bra. After all, it's not the first time he's done that for you — but it is under this strange context.
"Seokmin — "
"I'll do whatever you want me to do. Tell me." His voice is low, rougher than you've ever heard, causing tingles to shoot down your spine at the way he says your name. "I should take full responsibility for whatever happens."
His last sentence echoes over and over inside your head because yeah, what the hell is going to happen? — until you blurt out, "You find me attractive?"
Finally, Seokmin acts the way you expect and are familiar with, his shy demeanor coming out like sun rays peeking through overcast clouds. Bowing his head, forehead flopping on your shoulder, he admits defeat. 
"As if that's even a question, goofball."
"No way — there's no way! My bestie, you, find me, your bestie, like. Hot?"
"Look, I know it's cliché to fall for your friend and all that stupid shit," he grumbles, "but you don't have to sound so shocked. I already know thanks to Mingyu."
You freeze. "Know what?"
"… You're really going to make me say it?" he laughs in disbelief and shakes his head against your shoulder, causing your loose strap to slide down. "When my pride's already in tatters?"
Urging Seokmin to pick up his head and look at you, you face his brown eyes straight-on and cup his flushed cheek. "What did Mingyu say that crushed your pride?"
He sighs. "He told you I liked you before I ever got the chance to say it myself to you."
Your eyebrows raise. "He did?"
"Yeah. And I thought you just. Well. I don't know, I thought you were just ignoring it out of consideration or something. Obviously. Since you didn't say anything."
"… All 'cause I was pretty sure he blabbered about accidentally spilling the beans to you about me liking you."
The both of you pause, silently cursing poor Mingyu. He did mean well. Somehow.
"You're joking right," Seokmin whispers, "is this real?"
"What makes you think it's not."
"Because you've only ever returned my feelings in my dreams."
Your pride swells at that, wrapping your arms around his neck daringly. "Dream about me often?"
He falls backward on the bed, taking you down with him with your bodies pressed tightly together. You admire his handsome features with renewed thirst while he shuts his eyes, no longer forcing yourself to view him through the platonic lenses you'd kept on for so long.
Then his eyes flash back open and you flinch at the burning desire blazing within them. He's never looked at you like that, at least not directly and it ignites the equal yearning you feel for him like a match.
"Yeah," he answers your teasing question, "I do."
Just the thought alone makes you dizzy. Your best friend, your sweet and lovely Seokmin who puts up with all your bullshit, laying here on this exact bed with thoughts of you consuming his mind. Pining for you. Wanting you. Shit, you think he deserves to have all his fantasies come true. And you're more than happy to help him out. 
"What do we do in your dreams?"
"Everything. Anything."
An iron-clad grip will probably leave bruises behind but it's not enough to stop you from a slow, lazy grind of your hips. You sit up for more leverage, hands on his broad shoulders for support, watching with smugness oozing out of your smile as he struggles to continue his wholesome thoughts.
"Holding hands, cute dates, buying you pretty things… "
"C'mon babe," you tease, "what else?"
"Ah… " Seokmin sighs, throwing an arm over his face to hide his eyes though it can't hide the flush creeping up his neck, to his cheeks, and coloring his cute ears. "You know… "
"Nah, I don't. Not unless you tell me." 
"… Just gets lonely in bed. At night. Cold."
"We've slept together before when I've stayed the night and vice versa."
"Mhm, but never with my dick inside of you."
You coo, trying to keep up your unbothered façade as though the quickening pace of your hips isn't making an insane mess of his lap. 
"Poor little Seokminnie had to jerk off all by himself." Leaning down to whisper maliciously in the ear that isn't shielded by his elbow, "Or did you do it while I was laying next to you because you were so frustrated?"
"As if," he scoffs, "and I'm not sure what you mean by little."
Like a switch has flipped, two hands return and grip your hips, keeping them stationary. To prove his point hard, it's Seokmin's turn to grind his pelvis up into the moist heat of your covered cunt while holding you still to feel every agonizingly delicious drag of his cock. The way he can feel you pulse against him even through your thin shorts, the devastating whimper that leaves your mouth when the rough fabric manages to catch your clit just right make up for the mildly gross stickiness of precum inside of his jeans.
A sadistic grin leers at you, almost a snarl. Such a jarring contrast to the normally soft, fond looks you're used to and a shudder runs through your body at the shock, another rush of heated arousal dripping from your pussy.
It's cute, Seokmin thinks to himself, how you put up this act and think you're the one in control when it's really me, the one whose lap you're on.
"Can you even blame me?" he growls, not waiting nor expecting any answer as he sits back up, jostling your body in the process. "I was so good, so well-behaved in front of you. And yet you waltz around me with barely anything on all the damn time, flirting with all my friends in that skimpy bathing suit without a care in the world… "
You don't even know when you ended up on your back. Staring wide-eyed into Seokmin's narrowed ones, his eyelids fluttering as he recalls these memories, fist clenched and arms tense as he towers on top of you once again. He's panting, lower body still pressed against yours.
"Batting your eyelashes at me, giggling, grinding that sweet ass all over me on the dancefloor and then skipping away even though I wanted to touch you so badly… and if that's not torturing enough, constantly showing up in my dreams, always out of reach… So yeah, I'm just a little frustrated, sorry."
"I'm… I'm… I-I didn't know — "
"I know that. I know that and that's why I felt like utter trash. You didn't mean any of it and here I am throwing my disgusting fantasies on you."
"Don't say that," you plead and cup the side of his face, running your thumb repeatedly across his mole. "You're not trash, Seokmin. I wasn't thinking — I mean I didn't realize… I just — "
"Please," he interrupts suddenly, desperately begging. "Please tell me… if this… if this is going to be a spur of the moment, out of pity, and a one-time thing… please tell me you don't want this. That you don't want me — "
"I want to kiss you." 
You watch his body tremble before he takes a deep breath, smiling up at him as his eyes gradually open. They blink owlishly at you, nearly crossing in his attempt to scan your face if he really heard you correctly as you guide him by the jawline close to your lips.
"I want you, Seokmin."
To be honest, you've never really imagined what it'd feel like to kiss your best friend. The movies you've watched make it out to be magical, enchanting, and something out of a fairy tale. Sure, maybe they're not wrong but the majority of entertainment is the bad boy turning sweet or a soft boy remaining a gentleman.
Nothing's prepared you for awakening the beast in a good boy.
He kisses you with a ferocity that steals your breath from the get-go. A sensual clash of teeth, tongue, spit, love bites, and nips. Seokmin always had an enjoyable, pleasing tone to his voice and it sounds even better when he's grunting and groaning in the laidback battle for dominance.
Somehow, your clothes are merely disheveled and not ripped off despite continual tangling and grabbing at each other. Once again, you find yourself back on top as you gasp for air — having to push him away when he chases after you for more kisses. If you thought he was pretty before, he's even lovelier with shiny, swollen lips and a dazed, hungry look in his eyes.
Despite pouting at the sudden distance, the man astonishingly looks at you like you've hung the stars in the sky. As if he's never seen the ugly sides of you, your lowest and most embarrassing moments. His gaze trails from where you sit on his thighs to the rise and fall of your heaving chest to your blown-out pupils with such appreciation and awe that your cheeks are set aflame.
Although maybe you're just seeing a reflection of your own adoration. Running your hand down the toned length of one of his arms, you intertwine your fingers together. A smirk returns to your face as he squeezes back, distracted.
"So, can I see your abs now?"
Seokmin groans your name and chews on his lip, uncertain. You shrug and toy with the hem of your own shirt before decisively pulling it over your head. A blissed-out sigh escapes his mouth at the reveal.
Your bra is undone — thanks to his earlier mischief — and barely covers your breasts. Threatening to fall off at the slightest move, you pretend to protect what little modesty you might have and keep it in place with a free hand. 
"Tit for tat?" you tease.
He audibly gulps and you watch his Adam's apple bob. You wait patiently, letting him go at his own pace and back out if he wants. Though he does relent because he feels at comfort with you, revealing his gorgeous tan skin and upper body you hadn't seen in what feels like years.
"Omigod…" you gasp out and he cringes, upper body taut with nerves. "You've been hiding a six-pack away from the public for so long?"
"I — "
"I want to touch them."
"Why are you so obsessed with my abs?"
"'cause they're mythical. Like unicorns or… or Bigfoot."
"You're comparing me to a yeti?"
"Not yet…i!"
He rolls his eyes at the ridiculous pun. "I thought I was getting a 'tit for tat'?"
"Yeah," you nonchalantly slide off your loose bra and toss it somewhere on his bedroom floor. Seokmin doesn't even get to relish the bare sight of your tits for his own enjoyment because you're grumbling, "can't even show his best friend his fine ass abs," and he has to correct you.
"Maybe if I was your boyfriend, I'd show them to you all the time."
"Oh? Is that a promise? A threat? A distraction?"
"An offer. A suggestion even."
"It's pretty tempting," you play coy, "can I touch you if I say yes?"
"Only if I can touch you too."
"Then yes." Your pointer finger travels down the flexed crease of his skin to right above his belly button. "Can I see your dick now?"
"But I want… I'd like to… taste you."
"Later," you assure and daringly place a kiss above his waistband. Your hands tug at the belt when his hips stutter upwards. "Please?"
He's gone the moment you flutter your eyelashes at him and so are his ruined jeans. Discarded on the floor to join the growing number of other clothing when he says yes. 
Even Seokmin himself would admit he is indeed too soft for you but his cock certainly isn't. Your eyes nearly bug out when it flops against his stomach, angry red and leaking tears of precum. He grits his teeth at how much it aches, perfect jawline even more prominent. 
His self-esteem would have been dashed to pieces at the devastating frown on your pretty face but it's greatly inflated when all you can do is whimper out, "You're so big… "
"Yeah?"
Your best friend — no, now your boyfriend, you suppose — hisses when you blink at him. 
"There's no way you're gonna fit."
"Hah, 's never been a problem before." Nails dig into his thigh, the little show of possession at the mention of his previous partners wickedly giving Seokmin another ego boost. He's quick to try and appease you though by saying, "don't worry, babe… let me prep and taste you, I'll make it fit I promise and you'll feel good."
"Fuckin' sweet talker." You feel a hand reach out to temptingly slip under the band of your shorts. "Everything about you is always so sweet."
"'m sure you taste even sweeter." 
"Seokmin…" 
"Hm?" His touch grows bolder at the moan of his name, squeezing at the plumpness of your ass. "Will you please let me have a taste? Just wanna help you out." 
You won't be thinking I'm so sweet after this. 
Eager to touch him, you nod and start to take off your shorts but Seokmin is faster. Nearly tearing them off your body in excitement and somehow managing to position your bare lower body right where he wants it. 
Luckily, you're able to face his neglected cock. A shriek leaves your mouth, though, because the hardened tip of his tongue is searching for your clit, lathing and suckling on it when he does find it. 
You try to focus on your prize but it's difficult with the vigor he's attacking your throbbing, needy pussy. Seokmin holds you up high enough that he can leave occasional nips on the inner crease of your hips before harshly licking and sucking up your messy arousal. Shaking his head back and forth with an animalistic growl, all you can do is resort to pitiful kitten licks and slobbering mindlessly on just the side of his cock. 
The more you attempt to wrap your lips fully around the tip, the further down he brings you to his mouth until you're almost suffocating him. A brutal assault where you can only twitch your hips to which he agreeably grunts, gliding you across his open mouth ever so slightly. Unable to escape the throes of pleasure, not that you would want to — you give up and give in. 
Tears fill your eyes as your body convulses and shakes, staring longingly at his cock through bleary eyes. Seokmin's muffled moans as he gladly helps you ride out your orgasm with your fluttering hole clamping around his tongue barely registering in your ears. You feel like you're floating while underwater in the most delicious of ways. 
Seokmin manages to nudge you enough so he can catch his breath while waiting for you to come back to him. A fond smile on his lips when you're finally able to move and he helps you flop by his side. 
"Why on earth are you a pussy-eating pro?" 
"You keep complaining about things most people don't find fault in." 
"I wanted to suck the life out of you, not the opposite." You reach for his cock again but he stops you — again — and rubs the back of your hand consolingly while he wipes the wet mess you'd left on his face with a smirk like a badge of honor he takes pride in. "Lee Seokmin!" 
"Shhh, don't whine, baby. Almost there, I'll let you have my dick soon. Give it to you real good. Now that I've confirmed what a tight, good little pussy you have for myself, gotta make sure you're stretched out enough. Don't wanna hurt you." 
"It already hurts, 'm so empty, 'min." 
"Greedy," he snickers, knowing you're full of shit, and sits up. "After I just stuffed you with my tongue so well that you complained about it, now you want me again?" 
"Always want you. Always have. Didn't realize it before but it's true. 'm sorry, Seokkie, need you so bad though." 
"Lucky I like you so much. Now turn around, let me see that lovely ass of yours." 
You do as he says, clambering up on all fours and arching your back prettily, looking over your shoulder to see what he'll do next. 
The sight alone is a wet dream. He's licking his lips, brown eyes honed in on your puffy, seeping cunt until he's snapped out of the trance when he realizes you're watching him. He sticks out his tongue to pull a silly face and you shake your head in disbelief. 
A finger traces up your spine before it turns into his palm pushing down between your shoulder blades so your cheek is pressed into the pillows. You can just feel the heavy heat of his cock but he pulls away before you can savor it for too long. A constant tease that leaves you whining again in frustration and wiggling your hips enticingly, a futile effort. 
"I know you're desperate. 'm sorry, don't wanna cum too fast and disappoint you though." 
"You won't disappoint me." 
"Nope, I'll make it worthwhile. Promise. We can do whatever positions you want after this. I'd like to see you riding me like you do in my dreams, personally." Watching how you clench at his words, he chuckles. "Knew you'd like that too. Now, let's see…" 
He slips a digit inside your hole muttering, "There we go," and adds another. And another. Three fingers explore your gummy inner walls and he hums in contemplating tones before he begins scissoring motions to get your pussy to further open up. 
Your moans are muffled by the bed and Seokmin simply increases his pace to make them louder with a sneer of satisfaction you don't see. You do feel him kissing down the length of your spine, more love bites that make you squeal at each pinch. 
"So cute and perfect. What 'm I gonna do with you?" he asks and pretends to understand the unintelligible garble to his rhetorical question. "Yeah, that's right, babe. Fuck you even more stupid than you are now 'cause it's what you deserve." 
Retracting his fingers, licking them clean, and mumbling how pretty you are — then he's finally wrapping a veined hand around his even veinier cock to tease at your entrance. 
He plays with your wetness, coating his tip with it and making both your mouth and pussy drool. And god, does Seokmin relish the vision before him. 
You're everything to him and that thought alone makes him bite down on his lower lip, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. He doesn't want to fuck this up. Every muscle in his body tenses when he takes a deep breath and eases himself inside, enraptured with the way your soft pussy lips part and cling around his length to welcome him. 
When he glances up to check how you're doing, he has to reign himself back from exploding or thrusting insensitively all the way in. The way your eyes roll up, a stain of drool left on his blanket, and the feeble thank you's followed by a filthy series of moans — he lets out a string of curses that would make even a depraved whore blush out of shyness. 
"S'big, s'full," you hiccup, clenching and unclenching in rapid successions that has Seokmin wheezing, though he tries to comfort you. 
"'m not even all the way inside, sweetheart. Bear with me, babe. Breathe. I've got you." 
"Got me… hella fuckin' full."
"You can take it. I know you can." He pushes his hips forward a bit more. "There you go, sweetheart. Relax just a tiny bit… Yeah, that's it…" 
Praises fall from his lips and you sob at both the goddamn stretch and unfathomable pleasure. You already feel him buried in your gut reaching spots you didn't even know existed by the time he's almost bottomed out for his pelvis to press temptingly against your ass — you're pretty sure you can feel him in your lungs at this point.
"S'deep…!" 
"Feel so fucking good… d'ya need me to pull out a little, baby? You still with me?" 
You answer him by bravely using whatever strength — or more like the urge for him to split you open and take it all because you want to be as good as he's telling you that you are for him — and push yourself back so he's fully seated within your tight cunt. 
You're probably screaming if your raspy throat and ringing ears are anything to go by. He's panting and rubbing his forehead with a groan. 
"Fuck, what are you so hot for?" 
The air feels like it's been punched out of his lungs, the same way his cock is being suctioned and squeezed. In an effort to wrangle whatever control is left within himself, Seokmin focuses on your body and how it reacts. Laying over your arched back to press your bare bodies close together in an intimate fashion. 
You can feel his necklace and its cool touch on your burning skin. The recollection of never seeing him without it since gifting it to him reignites a possessive streak in you and has your pussy pulsing around him more fervently. Suddenly you long to have his mark engraved on you permanently, etched into your body and soul just like the inanimate object. 
It's almost a shame when he pauses to tug it free so it doesn't break and let it hang over your shoulder instead. Not that it matters much, for you'd only have a temporary imprint of a dog tag shape on your back. 
As if he can read your muddled mind (he probably can), Seokmin makes up for it in his concentration to delay his dizzy cloud of absolute unbridled lust. He's already left many physical reminders of his touch where you'll definitely be sore later scattered around your body and as a bonus — bites down where your neck meets your shoulder. 
(You have no idea how you'll explain the obvious teeth marks to your friends the next day but you know they'll know. Especially when Seokmin — the little shit that he is — shamelessly shows off the various marks you'll leave all over him later tonight.)
But you don't think about that right now, any and all thoughts consumed of him, him, and him. You're full. So full. Oh, how you ache to run your fingers across his gorgeous body the same way he's able to yours, sneaking a hand underneath to fondle at your breasts and tug at your nipples. You suppose that can wait, already inching toward another crashing orgasm when he's unable to stay still anymore and starts shallow, cautious thrusts.
"Mm, ah, 'min… Seok… min… "
"'m here baby, you're gonna cum for me already, aren't ya?" He pulls his dick out far enough to see the way your essence glistens and coats his length and then smoothly stuffs you full again. "Go on and cream on my cock, make me yours."
Shockingly you shake your head. "No, too soon!"
"S'kay, I know you can give me another one after. If you let go now, it'll feel even better after. You're still so tight, I can barely move."
You really can't believe you're about to climax so soon again. There's not really a choice to hold it off anyways, especially when his hand moves away from your tits and mercilessly rubs your clit. He could've just fucked your throat raw with how hoarse your voice is now with all the sounds he's drawn out of you.
As you recover from the fuzziness of a second orgasm, he'd taken out his cock that's basically gone numb at this point (he's not sure if that's a good thing or not), and appreciates the delectable view of how your hole has been stretched out perfectly in the shape of his cock to accommodate him so sweetly. It all screams I am Seokmin's and he fucking adores it. And you.
There's only one thing left to do. Paint you with the color white.
"You ready for me?" 
You breathlessly huff out a yes but honestly, you're unsure if you will be able to handle another peak without passing out. Seokmin soothes you, whispering that this will be the last one for this round accompanied by two chaste kisses on each of your shoulder blades. So wonderful and perfect, he reminds and suddenly you can do anything he asked of you.
Which is good because he's finally snapping his hips hard and fast with better ability, drilling into your warm, wet pussy he calls his that confirms that ownership itself with filthy noises of agreement and gushes of more arousal. You moan out a mix of yes, yours, and his name — growing so fucked out that when he asks you where you want him to cum, all you do is feebly bounce your asscheeks against his abs when he refuses to move.
"Shit, you gotta tell me now or I'll… fuck, I'll do it inside. I-I know you're on the pill but… "
"Please…"
"You'd look pretty with it all over your back but also spilling out of your pussy… "
"If you don't cum right now anywhere… I'll cry."
"You're already crying." His thumb brushes at the trail of tears that spilled over your eyelids.
"Seokmin…!"
"'m sorry, let me give you what you want."
His hips resume slamming at a rapid pace, hitting deep within that magic bundle of nerves without fail. Stars swim in your vision and the mind-numbing pressure twisting in your lower gut builds up without warning.
It's a silent scream this time and a peak that doesn't seem to end. As your body violently shudders and shakes for what feels like hours at its intensity, Seokmin's release is triggered. Gently thrusting as you spasm around him, milking his cock as it starts to fill you up with a comforting warmth. In a daze, he's forced out by the end of your explosive orgasm and watches with a slack jaw in awe.
He's managed to leave beautiful lines of white across your ass and back as intended. Though the bit he'd left inside of you is mostly expelled by you squirting and coating his thighs with your release, if he looks close enough, there are still globs of cream left around the outer lips of your cunt that has him groaning.
"This is better than what I've dreamt about."
"Of course. Real thing is always better."
"In this case, yes." 
"… Do you still think I'm sweet?"
"… Somehow, yes."
Seokmin laughs as you collapse flat against the bed. You need to clean up but both of you can afford to rest a little first. He lays down next to you on his side, bringing you into his arms and you immediately snuggle your face into his chest before fixing him with a serious gaze.
"I don't get it."
He stiffens in fear. "Wh-what?"
"You fucked your previous partners, right?"
"Um… most… of them… "
"Like this?"
"Uh… " he narrows his eyes. "What… what do you mean?"
"There's no way they would've wanted to let you go if you got a stroke game and stamina this good. Unless you were just too much of a beast in the sheets — which I could understand."
His arms tighten around you. "I'm sorry, did I go too hard on you? I just didn't wanna cum too fast."
"No, you're insane but it was… incredible. You're the unreal one here."
"Didn't expect that when you harassed me about my abs, huh?"
"I did not harass you and of course not, did you?"
"No, but… I'm glad it did. You… don't…  you don't regret it, do you?"
"No, why would I?" He breathes out a tiny sigh of relief which has you raising an eyebrow but you continue on. "I don't get why they didn't try harder to stick around. I mean you're perfect. In all aspects. I one-hundred-percent mean that."
"They weren't you, though. I'm sincere when I say you've always been the one. I was just afraid…" 
"You're a damn good actor, you know that. I had no idea."
Your favorite smile beams at you. "I did major in theater. And we're both kinda idiots."
You slap at his chest playfully and he covers your hand with his. "I like you too, you know that? Like really mean it when I say I do. Even if you just obliterated my fucking vagina out of existence."
"There's no way, I most certainly did not." He kisses your forehead. "'cause you still have to ride me like promised."
"I don't think I'll be able to."
Your eyes close, ignoring Seokmin's gasp of shock and protests about cleaning up. He can tell you're pretty exhausted and acquiesces, shifting you into a position more comfortable for you to be able to doze off for a bit.
But you take that opportunity to spring to life, sucking the nastiest hickey on his neck right above his silver chain. One that will take weeks to heal. He lets out a moan as you do it and when you back away, the atmosphere has heated up again.
"You're giving me a hard time," he points out with an eyebrow wiggle and you giggle. 
Urging him to roll over, you lug your aching limbs up and over so you can straddle his upper body. Adding more and more love marks and bites on his chest, neck, and arms. It's your turn to stake a hushed claim of mine whispered into his ears that you nip at. And he giggles, loving the attention you're showering him with.
His cock is stirring to life under your ministrations as is another pool of arousal swirling in your gut. Despite the hiss of oversensitivity and slight pain you both feel, you ease his length back inside. Nearly crying out because this new angle means he's stuffed in you even more, you don't know if he can fit until you're gasping in relief once you're successful.
He tentatively brushes his fingers against the bulge that appears in your lower tummy, wanton moans erupting from both of you at the gesture. It sends chills down your spine and you shiver.
"Gonna have to help me move, dunno if I have enough strength to make your dreams come true."
"S'kay, we have forever to act them out again and again," he reassures you which erases your pout. "You'll get used to me with enough practice."
"You think so?"
"Well, we can only test that theory to make sure."
You giggle as he pulls you in for a tender kiss by the back of your neck. "You're naughtier than I could've ever imagined."
"But you love it. You love me." His smug look only grows at your agreeing hum and when he flexes his abs. "Now, shall we see if all the work I put into my abs is worth it, babe?"
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onlyseokmins: February 2023 ©
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