#i had a dream about it and i woke up entirely heartbroken that this wasn’t the reality

[marzzrocks]

i’m really considering dropping out of college and taking a boat out to sea

[hailey-murdock]

Lose me (chapter 4)

Paring: Matt Murdock x Fem!reader

Warnings:(for this entire series) Angst, death, illness, nightmare, established relationship, depression, use of pet names, fluff, implied smut, mentions of college Matt and reader(let me know if I missed something out)

Summary: Matt "the man without fear" may not after all be that. He fears he'll lose the person he most loves

Other characters: Foggy Nelson, Frank Castle

WC: 1.1k

A/N: hated how i ended this chapter....Keep in mind the warnings, this series can be triggering to readers. Please read with precaution. (Reblogs, comment and likes are appreciated)

"Please tell me this is all a nightmare..that I'm going to wake up soon". Foggy didn't know how to help Matt, he thought maybe he should call Frank. Frank has been through this before, he would know what to do, Foggy thought in the back of his head. But Foggy also couldn't deny that he was heartbroken. One of his friends just died in the arms of best friend.

Matt's heart..it feels like it's tearing into two...he doesn't know what to do. He felt so lost and defeated as more tears kept dropping.

"I can't.. I can't.. I don't know what to do without her". Matt says to Foggy as his body shook and was cold.

You wake up in the middle of night since you heard Matt whimpering and shaking. You shook his body to wake him up and he was extremely cold. In his sleep he flinched at your touch. Right away you knew this was a nightmare. You call out his name and he keeps moving around and whimpering.

"Matt? Wake up, baby wake up". Somehow Matt heard your voice in his dream. The sweet sound of your voice woke him. His heavy breathing and the fear on his face, scared you. This wasn't just any nightmare. It was his worst fear.

"Wh..wh..what?" Matt moved his head around the room in a panic..in a state of confusion.

"No no no no no no...what's going on?"

He sat up and he tried to wake himself up as he heard his name leave your mouth again. You weren't alive, you just died in his arms. Matt felt like he already knew the answer. But he didn't want to accept it.

"No..no..please.." Tears ran down his face as the memory of his nightmare came rushing down his head again.

"Angel..no..i-" Matt really thought he had lost his angel, and he wasn’t fully awake, he needed something to ground him back.

"Matt, honey, it was just a bad dream." You pull Matt into your arms, rubbing his back. "It's okay, I'm here with you".

As more tears ran down his face, Matt held your body tightly. He thought it was just his imagination. "Y..you said it..it was just a dream?" Matt held you in a hug and he cried into your shoulder as he missed you more than ever. "Y..you're here with me?" Matt tried to move his eyes to where your eyes would be as he kept crying. Matt wanted to believe that he was right that it was just a dream..but you were still with him.

You felt your heart break as you saw Matt like this and you held him tightly to help him ground himself back.

"Yeah Matty, I'm here with you. And you're here with me. It's okay, it was just a bad dream. You're here with me baby".

Tears kept dropping from Matt's face as he held you tighter and tighter.

Y..you're here with me?"

His voice was filled with emotion. Matt felt so many things. Hr felt fear..sadness..and so much pain..but he felt happiness too. It was hard to hold on to that happiness though as his heart continued to break.

Matt felt so much love for you and he felt like I would do anything to make this all go away. "I'll do anything..I'll do anything to spend more time with you".

Everything that Matt said confused you. You had no idea what he was talking about but you just nodded. "I know baby, just breathe in and out for me". You wiped Matt's tears as you pulled away from his embrace and you kissed his forehead. "See, I'm here. This is real".

Matt took a deep breath, as tears kept falling from his face.

"I love you, sweetheart…..so much".

Matt's voice was filled with emotion, and he felt his heart breaking more and more. But it was all worth it as he felt your warm touch. He felt so safe and so welcomed. He felt like He was at home when you were with him.

You shook your head. "Yeah, and I know you do Matt. Feel me, I'm real. This isn't a dream". You leaned in to kiss Matt's lips filled with love. He leaned in as well, kissing you back with the same amount of love.

Matt had never felt such a strong feeling in my whole life..this is what love was..this is what it felt like.

Matt kissed you back with so much love..and it was the best feeling on the planet.

"Thank you..I love you so much". Matt couldn't help but smile as he rested his forehead against yours "You're welcome hun, do you want to talk about your dream?"

"N-no, it's too painful". Matt didn't want to think about the nightmare. The thought of the nightmare ever coming to reality was something he hated.

You understood Matt, this wasn't the first time that this had happened. Moments like these weren't new territory for you.

"Matt, I'm so sorry. But I wouldn't leave you. I can't do that to my lover boy".

Matt smiled as you called him lover boy. That warmed his heart. "Thank you for not leaving me. I feel like you're my soulmate. I.. I love you too much...I feel like I'd do anything for you. You're..my everything...you're perfect".

Matt held you close. He felt so happy as he kissed you again. The kiss was meaningful, it wasn't just any kiss, it was a kinda a kiss where you never wanted to let go

"At least a part of your nightmare wasn't all real, I mean we did end up living together just like we planned in college, but we aren't married or have any kids".

Matt smiled softly as he thought of the idea of maybe one day you would be "Mrs. Murdock". Also that very soon the two of you could buy a bigger home where mini him or mini you can live there.

The kiss was so meaningful. The love and the care and the emotion you felt in that kiss was so much stronger..it was so amazing, and it almost felt like everything around you disappeared and it was just you and Matt. Matt felt like he knew what it meant to truly love someone. He felt like his whole life had been meaningless until he met you. You gave him a reason to live.

"I love you".

He kissed you again, this time with even more love. Matt closed his eyes and smiled deeply at you. At times like these gave him even more reason to prepare the proposal he had in mind for you. You wouldn't abandon him like everyone else had in his life.

You would stay for all eternity.

Previous

[bookwormscififan]

The Masks We Have Wear Thin, Part 1

Read on AO3!

For @iamvegorott

A/N: So the other night I had a dream that Veg wrote a great fic about Phantom getting a new boyfriend after Jackie disappeared without a word. I proceeded to tell Veg about the fic when I woke up, and they insisted I write it instead.

Warnings: This chapter has some light smut, and sexual references. Please don't read this is you're under 18. I don't want to be responsible for messing up people.

He’d given his heart to a man that let him believe he was safe. He’d placed all his trust in Jackie, given him everything, made his entire being Jackie. His first thought in the morning was Jackie, and his final thought before sleeping was Jackie.

And then… Jackie had disappeared. No words, just one day he woke up and everything Jackie owned was gone.

Phantom had spent the first weeks tearing himself apart trying to find Jackie, then he had spent days agonising over the state of his heart.

Then he decided the man wasn’t worth the pain.

The first months were hell, like going off an addiction but someone had cranked the withdrawals up to 100. His chest ached, his muscles were sore, and he couldn’t sleep. Heartbroken and betrayed, he lived like a ghost, a shell of the snarky man who used to annoy the elderly in the town.

He moved from bar to bar, trying in vain to find someone to make him feel like Jackie did, travelling further and further away from the apartment that the couple had shared.

The one man who made him feel any semblance of normal was a musician named Sean. His blue eyes weren’t as bright as Jackie’s, and his shape wasn’t as defined, but his kisses were electric and his grip was strong. He didn’t care how closed Phantom was, he seemed to only be in the agreement for the sex. Phantom guarded his heart well, keeping his secrets hidden behind flirty comments and sharp innuendos.

As weeks grew into months, Phantom wrapped bitterness and sarcasm around himself like bandaging war wounds, tightening his tie a little more every time he went out. He’d meet Sean almost every night, returning home sore with his neck speckled in purple marks. He slept away the morning, waking at noon to wash and dress, slamming his hands into the shower wall with a broken yell, then mope around the house until it was time to go out.

Eventually Sean moved in with him. Days became brighter, his heart healing as he dragged Sean’s stuff into the house. His walls became filled with band posters and random sheet music tacked into the plaster, small photographs of tasteful angles adorned the bedroom wall and ceiling. Phantom almost felt normal again.

One framed photograph remained on his bedside table, a desperate hold onto the past life lived with Jackie. It was a photo taken by Phantom, captured just after a very long night, flushed cheeks complimenting blown-out blue eyes, lips pulled into an exhausted half smile, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat.

The framing of the photo followed the purple marks on Jackie’s neck down to about the centre of his chest, moonlight reflected in the sweat there. His arms were up, hands on either side of his head, sheets beneath him wrinkled from his grasp on them.

Sean’s photos were less artistic, captured moments of Phantom and himself in varied states of undress, framed to hide the best aspects while catching the most tasteful features. His favourite was of Phantom in the shower, eyes crinkled in a laugh, hand held toward the camera as his mouth shaped a laugh.

----

The rising sun marked almost a year since Jackie’s disappearance, orange rays shining through the sheer curtains covering Phantom’s penthouse windows, casting light across the sleeping figures in the bed, sheets pulled up just enough to cover their lower halves. Sean was asleep on his back, eyes closed tightly and one arm around Phantom’s shoulders, holding him close. Phantom was half sleeping on his own side of the bed, half on Sean, arms wrapped around his waist and face turned away from Sean’s stubbled chin.

Phantom groaned, turning his face into the crook of Sean’s neck, inhaling the scent of sweat and lingering arousal that seemed to follow the couple. Sleepily, he pressed kisses to the man’s skin, softly running his teeth along the tender spots where he’d bitten the night before. His hands slid from Sean’s waist up to his shoulders, fingers tracing the faint muscles beneath the flesh before grasping his biceps. He kept kissing Sean’s neck, moving down to his collarbone as he felt him wake up.

He smirked when Sean hummed, listening to his moan as his arms found their place on Phantom’s waist, tightening their grip as Phantom pressed closer to him, continuing to kiss and nip at Sean’s neck. He opened his eyes, looking into Sean’s lust-blown blue ones with a grin, rocking his hips down as he groaned.

“Fuck, Phantom,” Sean groaned, holding Phantom’s hips in a vice-like grip, chasing the pleasure of Phantom rocking against him first thing in the morning. Closing his eyes, Sean turned his head, searching for Phantom’s lips and moaning when they locked, making out in the light of the morning.

A few more strategic moves against Sean’s hips had both chasing their release, panting heavily when their highs went down. Phantom kept one hand splayed open over Sean’s heart, head tucked back into the crook of his neck as Sean held his waist with one hand and ran the other through his dark locks.

“So, who’s the man in that photo?” Phantom snapped his head up, frame held in his hand as he sat on the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but one of Jackie’s old hoodies he’d found in the back of the closet. He sighed, carefully returning the frame to the table before swinging his legs back onto the bed and facing Sean.

“An ex of mine,” he began, avoiding eye contact by looking at the wrinkled sheets beneath them. “He just up and left one day, not a word, took all his things. Except this hoodie,” he mumbled, pulling at the collar of the hoodie with a frown.  

“What was his name?” Sean’s hand on the small of his back was comforting, soothing as Phantom blinked away the tears of betrayal threatening to resurface. Of course, he thought, it’s been a year now, hasn’t it?

“Jackie,” he breathed, closing his eyes as his heart ached, pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees, tucking his face into the gap. “I made him my everything. He was my existence. I loved him, Sean,” he finished tearfully, pressing his face into his knees as sobs racked through him.

Sean rubbed his back, watching the man with sad eyes. Gently, he pulled Phantom closer so he could wrap his arms around him, holding him tightly as he cried freely into Sean’s shirt, hands releasing his knees so he could clutch at the fabric of his clothes.

“Shh. I’m here, it’s gonna be ok, Phan.” He froze as Phantom stopped crying suddenly, taking in a sharp breath before pulling his head back to look at Sean.

“It’s gonna be ok, Phan.”

Jackie stood on the edge of the balcony railing, balancing on one foot as he held his arms out to his sides, glass of whiskey splashing onto the ground beneath him. Phantom stared, curled in the balcony chair with a glass cradled to his chest, biting his lip in hopes that Jackie wouldn’t fall. They’d been sitting watching the stars that night, sharing a bottle between them. Jackie couldn’t hold his drink as well as Phantom could, and the idea of losing his heart sobered Phantom up pretty fast.

“Please, Jackie,” he begged, voice barely a whisper. “Please come back down. If you fall…” he didn’t finish his sentence, silent tears falling down his cheeks and sighing with relief when Jackie jumped back onto the balcony, dropping to his knees in front of Phantom’s chair. He set his empty glass down, shuffling forward so he could lean his elbows on Phantom’s chair.

“Shh, darling.” He reached forward shakily to sloppily place a fingertip against Phantom’s quivering lip. “I’m here, it’s gonna be ok, Phan.” Pushing himself up, Jackie leaned forward to kiss Phantom, instead falling into his lap with a huff, wrapping his arms around his neck and planting kisses to his exposed collarbone.

Freeing a hand from Sean’s shirt, Phantom reached up to brush Sean’s hair away from his eyes, looking into them with a frown.

“Phan?” Sean stopped when Phantom pushed him away, awkwardly pulling his hoodie down to cover his hips. His heart was pounding, blood rushing to his head and pressure building behind his still-teary eyes.

“You never call me Phan,” he started, voice shaking as he climbed backwards off the bed, backing away from Sean when he reached for him. “We don’t do nicknames. That was our agreement. Only one person ever called me Phan, and he’s—”

“Jackie’s gone,” Sean mumbled, meeting Phantom’s questioning look by pulling the wrinkled blue mask from his pocket. “Jackie’s been gone a long time.” Phantom stared, blinking at the man sitting in his bed. Then it clicked.

He had always known Jackie was using a false name, just like he was, but he’d never asked for the real name, no matter how deeply he’d fallen. This man’s strength, the tender way he touched him, the blue in his eyes… how had he never noticed? His hair was different, a dark brown instead of Jackie’s ridiculous green, but everything else…

“Why did you leave?” he asked, voice breaking as he stared into the eyes of the man he’d loved for years. “Why come back now, under a false name, like a completely different person?” He backed further away, nearer to the window, breathing heavily and shaking his head as Jackie climbed off the bed toward him.

“I can’t explain all this to you now,” Jackie began, holding his hands out to placate Phantom, moving slowly toward him. “I promise you I’ll explain later. I swear to you, Phan, everything will make sense.”

“No! No, explain to me now why you disappeared a year ago. Tell me why you left without a word. Do you know what I went through?! I woke up and you were gone! I thought you’d gone for a run, then I noticed all your shit was gone! Jackie, I—”

He froze as Jackie dashed forward, wrapping his arms around Phantom and holding him close. A shift in the air made Phantom gasp, trying to push Jackie away until he saw the light outside. A blue flash, causing a crashing plane to explode right in front of the window, the blast making the curtains shift.

“What… was that?” Phantom asked when Jackie released him, moving back again as he regarded Jackie with fear in his eyes. “What happened? What did you do?!”

Jackie dropped his arms, stepping back at Phantom’s terrified look. His face crumpled slightly, swiftly being replaced by a neutral expression, covering the pain behind his eyes. He sighed, moving back to sit on the end of the bed, staring at his hands.

“That was a forcefield,” he began slowly, voice low and sour with guilt. “It absorbed the blast of the plane crash so it didn’t land in your house. I saved your life by creating a forcefield to protect you.” He shook his head with a bitter laugh, spitting the sound out like poison. “And now I’ve scared you,” he finished to himself, clenching his fists against his knees.

Phantom stood by the window, trying to stop his nervous shaking as he took in what Jackie had said. Closing his eyes, he took a few deep breaths, waiting for his heart to calm down before slowly stepping forward, stopping a few feet from Jackie.

“What happened to you after you left?” he asked slowly, letting the words out with his shaky exhale, pressing his hands into the bottom of the hoodie as he looked at Jackie, forcing himself not to turn away in fear.

“I wouldn’t have left if I’d had the choice,” Jackie began, keeping Phantom’s gaze. “They’d been slowly taking my stuff over several months. There was nothing I could do to stop them. Then, they took me away one morning, so fast I couldn’t even leave a note. It was some experiment they wanted to test, a sort of super virus to make people stronger. I don’t even remember signing up,” he said, voice breaking as his eyes welled with tears.

Phantom froze, eyes wide as he registered what Jackie had said. His stomach fell as a memory surfaced, and his face paled.

They had had a fight. Something petty, ridiculous really, but it had made Phantom angry enough that he was spending the night in the sitting room, scrolling mindlessly through his laptop.

He stopped as an ad flashed across his screen, fingers hovering over the touchpad before clicking the link.

“We’re looking for volunteers for a clinical experiment,” the site read, no further details apart from an address and a form to fill out.

Phantom hummed to himself, leaning back against the sofa before cracking his neck and filling out the form with Jackie’s details.

A decision made in a moment of anger; he really didn’t think anything would come of it…And soon he’d forgotten he even filled the form.

———

@brokentimewatch

[depressedbagpipe]

Silver (Prince Caspian x female!reader)

Chapter IX - Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Words: 3652 Warnings: just very bad writing of feelings, overall. other than that you're good. A/N: hey ;) i completely made up this chapter, because i wanted to write something of my own without following a script for once. let me know what you think of it 💜 and thank you once more for your support. also the title is conveniently fitting lol

Series Masterlist Previous chapter <> Next chapter

Chapter IX - Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

I knew I was dreaming way before Caspian’s lips softly rested on mine. I was standing on the ruins of Cair Paravel, wearing my school uniform. The Pevensies were nowhere to be found, but it almost didn’t matter. Somehow, I knew this wasn’t about them. 

Soft steps on the overgrown grass made me turn around, finding Caspian’s dazzling eyes as he approached me. I turned back, staring at the calm waters before me, suddenly feeling his chest against my back and his arms enveloping me, protective and loving. Caspian rested his chin on my head, kissing it softly as I rested my hands on his, drawing small circles. 

His heart was peaceful, quiet, just like the rest of the world. My lips spread in a lazy grin, letting the breeze and contempt wash over my body and mind, finally finding peace after so many restless nights. 

“I wish we could stay like this, forever,” Caspian spoke softly. 

I nodded, pushing him closer to me.

A stronger wind started to pick up, sending our loose clothes flailing around us. The sun that had been lighting everything with warmth was suddenly gone, dark clouds filling the sky in a matter of seconds. The sea raged below, crashing into the rocks with such a forceful fury that I took a couple of steps back, out of surprise.

The air got colder, making me shiver as it prickled the skin on my legs. The spell was broken almost immediately. I turned around to face Caspian, who was dressed like the first time I had ever seen him. He wore no armor or swords, and his face was not that of a child, but rather a young king. He looked at me with such endearment that I knew it couldn’t be real.

“I have to go,” I said, as the wind got louder around us.

Caspian frowned at me, gripping my hands tightly. “What do you mean?”

I had to pin down the skirt of my uniform to prevent it from showing anything.

“Cas, I don’t belong here,” my heart broke with every word. “This isn’t my world.”

He shook his head at me. “No, no, but we can talk to Aslan, we can…” he was desperate, pulling me to him as I tried to walk away.

“There’s nothing to be done, Caspian,” hot tears fell from my eyes.

“I can’t let you go just like that,” he was crying too, his grip almost too hot, or too cold, burning into my skin.

“Please,” I pleaded, my voice barely a whisper.

Before I could say anything, Caspian took a step forward and kissed me. All logic went off the window as he grabbed me by my waist, keeping me close to him, our lips moving in a graceful dance to the tune of our own melody. For a few seconds, time seemed to stop. It was only us in the entire universe.

Yet the world around me slowly faded until I was standing alone in the dark, the ghost of Caspian’s kiss still lingering on my lips and his grip on my waist. My body grew heavier as if something invisible pushed me to the ground, but I was too heartbroken to fight it. I let it move me around like a falling leaf until I too became darkness.

I woke up with a start. My forehead was drenched in sweat, and shivers ran down every limb. The silk night robes that had been gifted to me stuck to my body, as I desperately tried to calm my racing heart.

Winter stood by the feet of the bed, her ears listening, yet her eyes were closed, sleeping despite the early morning rays already illuminating most of the room. I threw the covers off my body, the coldness of the stone floor immediately clinging to my bare feet as I stood up. I washed my face on a nearby basin filled with water, taking a quick look at my reflection in the mirror that hung above it. My eyes were wide, with dark circles under them, and dry stains on my cheeks that I quickly washed away as the sun slowly made its appearance over the Telmarine castle.

I stood on the balcony overlooking the kingdom, the first villagers waking up at the sound of their roosters, starting their day. The castle was dormant on the inside, not a single sound heard from the other side of the wooden door. I looked to the horizon, the sight both familiar and unrecognizable at the same time.

Caspian had returned to Telmar, welcomed with open arms by his people. He brought us with him, too, giving us all our own quarters, and making sure every Narnian out there felt welcome in his home. His coronation had been beautiful, Narnians and Telmarines alike cheering for their new ruler. We had spent the past weeks helping Caspian become the king he was meant to be. Peter and he had become fast friends after that, Caspian turning into his sort of protegée as Peter taught him everything he knew about ruling after becoming High King. Edmund and I would often chime in during their war and council discussions, guiding him over all the new decisions he had to make as the new king of Narnia. 

Peace reigned over the land, finally, yet I had become restless. Caspian and I had grown closer, often seeking each other’s advice on even the simplest of matters. Many nights had been spent at the library or his professor’s office, reading everything ever written about Narnia, recounting our tales, our adventures, our battles. During the day we trained together, and rode around Telmar and well into the Narnian territory. No wars had to be fought, and for once, I wasn’t a soldier. 

A couple of balls were held, too, Caspian taking Susan’s advice and inviting all the neighboring kingdoms. A new era of peace and prosperity loomed in the air, and with every passing day, I knew our time in Narnia was coming to an end. Caspian was managing on his own, not needing the Kings and Queens of Old anymore for guidance. The more I spoke with him, the less of the young naive prince I saw. 

It was a couple of nights ago that the nightmares started. All of them began the same way, somehow in Caspian’s arms, only to be reminded that I couldn’t stay. And every time my heart broke a little more. I feared soon there wouldn’t be any heart left to break.

I still thought about it during that night’s ball over Archenland’s peace treaties, signed only a few hours prior. I stood once again over the big balcony at the ballroom, an uninviting colder breeze allowing me to enjoy some peaceful moments away from the dancing couples inside.

“It really is beautiful out here,” Susan’s gentle voice startled me from my thoughts. She stood next to me, also gazing at the stars. “It’s no Cair Paravel, though,” she joked.

I snorted. “It wouldn’t be fair to compare the two. You guys are four, Caspian’s just one,” I answered, keeping the light tone over us.

“I always found it weird, you know. Four of us. But I see Caspian’s managing well,” she replied, a gentle smile on her plump lips.

I looked at her slightly, my jaw unconsciously tensing at her words. I made no reply, for I was too busy letting my bitterness get the best of me. 

“I know he will be a good king,” I answered at last. “He had the best teachers, after all,” I complimented her, forcing myself to push down any sourness. Susan and I had been best friends for years, after all.

It was her turn to snort. “Please, speak for yourself. I barely did anything,” she replied. “He’s been more focused on you than any of us combined.”

I blushed at her words, for they were true. “Well, when all of this is over, it won’t matter,” I sighed. 

Susan frowned at my words, likely knowing what was going on in my head. I hadn’t told anyone about the nightmares, and my feelings for Caspian, but Susan could always read me like an open book.

“Look,” she took my hand, “I know you love him. And I happen to know he loves you too,” I widened my eyes at her. “Oh, come on, don’t tell me you don’t know!” she laughed, but I remained on the spot, unmoving.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Su,” I told her. The butterflies in my stomach seemed wilder than ever, but I kept forcing them to stop. I simply couldn’t.

“You clearly are made for each other. Both of you are two stupidly pining after the other to notice your feelings are mutual,” she smirked at me, but not with malice.

“Listen, even if I did, I know our time here’s ending soon,” I grabbed her by her shoulders, in an attempt to shut her up. “The last thing I need right now is to get my hopes up over a guy I barely know that flirts with the first woman to cross his path,” I almost spat.

Susan winced, not from my tight grip, but because of my words. I felt bad immediately. “I’m really sorry about that,” she put her hands on mine, her warmth sending goosebumps up my arm. “I’m not going to lie, Caspian is attractive and kind, and gentle. But as soon as I saw the way you looked at each other I knew I couldn’t do anything. I now know it is not my destiny to be with him. But yours is,” she explained. My cheeks felt hot at her words.

“I don’t think it is my destiny either,” I shook my head, blinking rapidly to stop the tears that were slowly forming in my eyes. “I’ve been having these dreams… nightmares, really,” I took a deep breath under Susan’s concentrated gaze. “It’s always Caspian and me. And every time I have to go. We don’t belong here anymore, Su, and I don’t want to risk getting my heart broken for the rest of my life over a love that can’t be,” a single tear fell down my face.

“I really can’t tell you what to do,” Susan spoke softly, brushing the tear off, “and I know how painful it is to love somebody and have to let go. I will love and support you regardless. And so will Caspian,” she squeezed my hands before returning to the ball. She stopped at the entrance, giving me one last look. “If it makes you feel any better, he never flirted back.”

I stood there for a few minutes, replaying every single conversation, touch, and look, shared by Caspian and me during these weeks. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders after my conversation with Susan, but as my eyes found Caspian, smiling and laughing with Edmund and a few of his council members, I felt like an outsider once again.

Caspian caught my eyes and immediately frowned. I tried to slip away, unnoticed, but he was quicker, grabbing me by my arm as soon as I stepped into the hall.

“Hey, is everything alright?” he asked, concerned.

I shook my head, mainly so my hair would cover my red eyes. “Yeah, why do you ask?” I grinned at him, trying to appear convincing enough.

“You don’t look okay,” he grabbed my hand, his touch sending my heart into a frenzy. “Did something happen?”

“No, no, I’m fine. I just… I need some air, you know. I’m not used to the whole ballroom dancing thing,” I laughed nervously, desperately hoping for Caspian to let me go.

He shook his head at me. “I know something’s wrong. You’ve been ignoring me these past few days,” his eyes were almost glossy. “Did I do something?” 

I mentally kicked myself at his words, another weight landing on my shoulders, only this time, it clung to my whole chest, drilling a hole into my heart. “No, Caspian, you didn’t do anything. I just… I don’t know, I guess I haven’t felt good,” I tried to brush it off, but Caspian wasn’t letting my hand go. I almost relished in that.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You know you can always come to me for anything. Maybe we can talk to Dr. Cornellius, maybe he can help you…” I cut him off before he could continue.

“Caspian, it’s fine. I’m not sick,” I reassured him, noticing his frown disappear slightly. “I guess, now that the war’s over… I’m feeling… weird?” I tried to explain, also knowing I wasn’t fully lying. “Like, I don’t have a purpose here anymore?”

“This is your home too,” his thumb stroked my hand.

“It used to.” 

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Everything is different now. Our home was here, centuries ago. And we eventually will have to go back to our own world,” I closed my eyes, feeling my heart aching once again as I recited the same words I had been saying to Caspian in my dreams, only this time, I was wide awake. “I don’t belong here anymore.”

With a soft smile, I squeezed Caspian’s hand and dropped it. He was too stunned to move, and I used the opportunity to turn around and head toward my room. The dress I was wearing flowed gracefully with every step, and despite its beauty, I couldn’t help but feel even more of a stranger. I was almost willing for Aslan to pull me out of Narnia and back to the train station, just waiting until everything was over and I could finally and painfully forget about Caspian if only to not suffer anymore about a love that couldn’t be.  

I reached my quarters and immediately took the dress off, not without difficulty. Winter was laying on my bed, watching me carefully, but as soon as I reached for my riding clothes she stood up and walked by my side, once again silently leaving the castle into the gardens surrounding it. Music and laughter could still be heard from the ball on the other side of the castle, inviting to join anybody who could hear, but I kept running in the opposite direction. I got on top of Winter and she swiftly ran to the woods, heading to Aslan’s How, not a word needed between the two. 

Aslan came back to Telmar the next morning, his presence almost illuminating the already warm-tinted stone walls of the Telmarine castle. The Pevensies and I shared a look, knowing we were all spending our last hours in Narnia. Even Caspian looked disheartened, despite the great respect he felt for the lion.

Preparations started immediately. The whole castle was to alert the Telmarine and Narnian villagers to gather at the town’s main square, and the rest of us were left to our own devices. From my balcony, I saw Aslan speaking with Peter and Susan, both of which had somber looks on their usually cheerful faces. I frowned at the sight, wondering what they could be possibly talking about. I saw Caspian exit one of the doors into the courtyard, briefly exchanging a few words with them, and just as I was about to leave the room, a few soft knocks on my door interrupted my actions.

Lucy’s head timidly appeared from the crack of the open door, smiling at me. “May I come in?” 

I grinned at her, motioning her in with my head. “You know you’re always invited,” she smiled as she crossed the door behind her and sat on my bed, stroking Winter on the head as she softly licked her hand in appreciation. 

“So…” she sighed, “Aslan’s here. Any idea why?” she asked with nervousness.

I exhaled, sitting next to her and taking her other hand in mine. “I think so,” I answered.

Lucy nodded at me, her expression sad. I hated seeing her like this. I took her in my arms, sending all the love I could muster into the hug. “I don’t wanna go back,” she said, her voice muzzled by my arm.

“I don’t wanna go either,” I replied, sighing deeply.

“We could riot,” Edmund’s voice made us turn our heads to the door where he stood, a grin on his face.

“Sure, let’s hide from Aslan, he definitely wouldn’t find us,” I joked as I motioned him to us. 

Edmund took large strides and dropped onto my bed, joining in the hug. Even Winter put her head on his leg.

Tears prickled my eyes, wishing we could all stay like this forever. 

“Alright, all of you, out, you need to get ready for Aslan’s audience,” Peter was now at the door, staring at us with a fond smile. I brushed the tears off my cheeks as Lucy and Edmund left, and Peter softly closed the door behind him as he made his way inside.

“We need to talk,” his expression was firm, his eyes red around the corners. 

“What’s wrong?” I stood up at his words, fearing whatever came next.

Peter sighed, his shoulders dropping. “Susan and I aren’t coming back.”

Something in me broke. “What do you mean, Pete?” my voice trembled.

“We spoke with Aslan. We learned our lesson. We won’t come back to Narnia,” his eyes filled with tears.

I stood frozen on the spot, registering his words. “But… that’s not possible…” I stammered, my head hurting from all the thoughts whirling inside. “So what? We leave and then what?” I paced around, looking anywhere but him. 

Although the prospect of leaving was imminent, I still felt the sadness crippling my lungs.

“That’s what we need to talk about,” Peter suddenly stood before me, gripping my shoulders, grounding me. “I talked to my parents before coming here. They said they found a nice house in America where we could stay. You, Su, and I will be finishing school soon, and my mom already talked to my uncles so Ed and Lu will stay with them. We have a cousin their age, too. I asked my mom if you could come with us, but…” I widened my eyes at his statement. 

I knew my situation was delicate, with both my parents dead and no relatives nearby. “I would be on my own,” I concluded. Tears fell freely off my cheeks, matching Peter, as I realized what my life was about to become without the Pevensies by my side. 

“I even tried convincing my aunt, but she already doesn’t like the idea of looking after three kids,” he was almost begging at this point. 

I looked at Peter one last time, knowing my path wasn’t next to his anymore. I grabbed his face before hugging him tightly, the unspoken goodbye between us heavy in the air.

With a pat on his back, we took a step back, gazing into each other’s eyes, relishing in our last moment together in Narnia. He left the room with a nod of his head, my heart beating fast as I stared at his retreating figure. 

The sun shone brightly on the castle. Everybody was still inside, getting ready in their finest robes, yet I stepped into the courtyard, trying to escape the anxious servants who ran around with a thousand chores in their heads. Winter stood next to me, always protectively, and we both halted as Aslan stood in the middle, almost impatiently.

“At last, young one,” he spoke calmly. “I feared you had gotten lost,” he didn’t move from his place, rather urging me forward to him.

I kneeled before him. “I truly think I am,” I answered, my head lowered in both respect and shame.

“One’s never truly lost. We are where we need to be at every moment, even if we don’t know it yet,” Aslan said.

I raised my head at him, standing straight before him. “Thank you again for Winter,” I said, stroking her head.

“What belongs to you will always find you,” he replied with a smile on his face. “But that’s not the reason you’re here now, is it?”

I almost choked on my words, for I didn’t know where to start. “I just… I don’t know what to do, Aslan,” I looked around, fearing anybody could hear. “I love him,” I shrugged my shoulders, “but I know that it won’t work.”

“Who’s to say it wouldn’t?” I almost laughed at him.

“We come from different worlds. And I just know our time here’s coming to an end,” I answered sadly. “You said there’s a lot more in store for me, but where? I don’t see it.”

“Young one, we don’t always get the exact answers we hope for,” Aslan spoke, his voice calm and gracious. “You will need to find your path on your own.”

“What if I fail?” I whispered.

“You’ve failed before.”

I exhaled heavily. “Yeah, and I almost died.”

“I told you it isn’t your time yet. Nor it won’t be for a long time,” Aslan’s words made me sharply turn my head to him.

My lips trembled, the picture slowly becoming more visible even though it was still blurry. “Then, what should I do? I have no life waiting for me on the other side.”

Aslan’s big paw patted my back comfortingly. “Trust and accept that there’s somebody out there willing to love you as much as you love them. Understand that great things will come your way and it doesn’t matter in which world you stay. Once you do, everything will fall into place,” he spoke wisely. 

My hands trembled at his words, carefully trying to analyze their meaning. For Aslan was giving me an alternative I didn’t even know existed, and now it was my choice to create my own path. 

“I think… I want to stay.”

Aslan nodded at me. “Then you shall.”

Next chapter

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝗺𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿𝘀 (𝟱)

𝙘𝙚𝙤!𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 | 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙭 𝙥𝙚𝙜𝙜𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙧

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || When your boss is the most handsome, caring and adorable person you’ve ever met, falling for him was natural. But Steve has only loved one woman his entire life, his ex-wife Peggy; who has left him heartbroken and unbeknownst to him is manipulating him. So, who will Steve choose, his past or his present?

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || dry humping, angst, fluff. 𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙊𝙍𝙎 𝙋𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙀 𝘿𝙉𝙄!

y’all they almost fuck ಠ_ಠ…. Also don’t kill me for the ending! Ily!

series masterlist || masterlist

Steve himself was stunned by the fact that he agreed to be your date. Wait, let me get this straight, I was supposed to make sure she reached on time; not be her goddamn date, Steve thought to himself. He didn’t know what overcame him at the moment.

But it wasn’t like he was regretting anything. He did want to spend more time with you, and he was going to make the most of these two days. Just that he didn’t know what overcame him and he agreed without discussing with you.

Were you annoyed with him? He had no idea. Did you have the right to? Absolutely. If someone just announced that they were his date without informing him prior, he would get mad too. He just hoped he hadn’t fucked up.

He didn’t want to give a name to what he felt for you. Every single day, he woke up and got excited to meet you. He knew he liked you, in fact it was much more than that. But he was so confused about what he felt that he simply just didn’t think about it.

~~~

When you both reached the room, you were disappointed, actually no excited, to see there was only one bed. That meant either one had to sleep on the floor or you had to sleep on the bed. And well, you were acquainted with the one bed trope…

“What are you thinking about?” Steve asked as he jumped on the bed. The atmosphere of the place had changed the moment he had entered. The fact that he was Wanda’s boss, and the famous Steve Rogers, brought some awkward to the whole celebrations.

It was then that he had realised that he didn’t have a suit to wear for the wedding. After lying that he had forgotten his bag at home in the hurry, Pietro, Wanda’s brother, lent him his spare suit and few other clothes.

“Nothing really.” You lied with a straight face while thinking about being railed by this man. You had to spend the whole night here and you were sure that everything except, what you were thinking, was going to happen.

“I know you must be pissed I agreed to be your date out of nowhere.” He sounded dejected. “Wait. No. What? Why would I feel like that? I mean to have you as my date for Wanda’s wedding is my honour. And also it’s nice to make others jealous.” You said smirking.

“Oh. That’s great. I’m happy to be here too. It’s nice to just forget about work and all those worried for some days you know?” Steve knew people thought he had the best life as a single famous billionaire.

But it wasn’t true. The truth was he didn’t have anything to do except his work. He rarely attended parties as he knew Peggy would be there. And no matter how much he tried, but he couldn’t ever heal the would that opened every time he saw her.

He had loved her more than his own self. He probably still did, but he wasn’t quite sure about that anymore. But his love wasn’t enough for her. And it was his fault to love her too much wasn’t it? He still remembered her words, ‘Steve I’m still young and I want to live. I know you love me, but that love is cutting off my wings..!’

He would’ve taken her every place she wanted to go. But she didn’t want to go with him. He had fallen for her high aspirations and ambitions; she was absolutely unstoppable. And he couldn’t help but feel guilty that he himself had stopped her from achieving her dreams.

“…. Steve?” He was lost in his thoughts and his eyes were glassy as if reliving a painful memory. “Nothing. I’m okay.” He cleared his throat and tried his best to smile. He couldn’t help but notice how different you were. You didn’t make him feel guilty.

Later on, you both decided to take turns to shower and change into night clothes. You went first and Steve followed. Steve took a nice hot shower that soothed his muscles which were aching after driving for so long. After drying himself, he first tried on Pietro’s shorts and though they were short, they fit him.

But as he was trying the T-shirt, he realised it was too small for him. But he was halfway through it and as he tried to remove it, it got stuck on his bulking biceps and shoulders. He tried to pull it out for a few more minutes, but didn’t really succeed. Finally giving, he resorted to his last option.

“Hey! Uh…. I… I’m stuck in a situation, could you help me?” He shouted through the bathroom door. You were setting up your clothes for tomorrow when you heard him. “What situation?” You asked standing in front of the closed door.

" Well,.... I'm stuck in this T-shirt. This is very awkward, but can you... can you help me get it off. I swear I've tried but it's just not coming off. Could you please help?" He was actually pleading you. “Oh yeah sure. Why not!”

“Just give me a minute, it's difficult to open this door. Oh god, it's so embarrassing." Steve felt his cheeks flame up with embarrassment. He wanted to smack his head for making a fool of himself in front of you. after a few tries, he finally opened the door and sighed.

Your first instinct was to laugh. You had rarely ever seems Steve without his expensive suits and polished shoes, and here he was stuck in a simple shirt with his arms up above his head at odd angles.

But then the instinct quickly shifted to lust when you saw his abs and arms exposed by the shirt. You were microseconds away from actually drooling. He had rock hard abs and an Adonis belt sculpted by the gods themselves.

“… Hey! Help me.” You snapped out of your trance and cleared your throat. You did help him get out of that T-shirt but not without a small tear at the seam. "Oh god, it was so horrible, I thought I was gonna die in it. Thank you.”

As he panted, you couldn’t stop staring at the way his muscles moved. Now that you full view of his body, you thought all your filthiest dreams were nothing compared to it. God had a favourite, and it was Steve Rogers.

“Anytime.” You croaked out. You were suddenly thirsty and were immense need of water. “Guess I’ll have to be without a shirt for the night, eh?” The shirt he had driven in was absolutely worn out and he won’t be able to sleep in it.

You just nodded as words refused to form in your brain and your mouth felt too dry to speak any. As he walked ahead of you, you realised he had the best backs in the history of backs maybe ever.

“I’m sorry. I wish I had something else.” You wanted to tell him to not apologise. Because you were going to be dreaming about his body for the rest of your life. But as he sat on the bed, you realised you had to spend the entire night in the same room. God was truly testing you tonight.

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” You said pointing down. You couldn’t possibly sleep besides him and not pounce on him by any chance. “The hell you are. I’ll sleep down. You take the bed.” He was your boss, you couldn’t let him just sleep on the floor.

“Or… or we could share the bed.” Steve said hesitantly. He wasn’t sure why you had suggested sleeping on the floor in the first place. He had just considered you would be sleeping on the same bed since he entered this room.

You just nodded for a minute before finally replying, “Okay.” You slipped under the covers and just laid still. You were on the farthest corner away from him and trying to control yourself. But the bed being not really big enough, there wasn’t much space between you two. So you just prayed to god you didn’t do something irresponsible while asleep.

~~~

Steve was woken up in the middle of the night by some movement. He was feeling very cozy and warm, with was a distant feeling now, so he decided to bathe in it for a moment before opening his eyes.

When he opened his eyes, he realised the warm feeling that he loved so much was none other than you. You were draped half across his chest and how his hand was circling you, he had no idea.

Your mouth was partially open and you were blissfully asleep. But that’s when he noticed why he had woken up in the first place; his thigh had somehow managed to wedge itself between your legs and you were humping yourself against him.

So in short, you were probably having a wet dream about someone and rubbing it out on him. He didn’t blame you for anything, of course. But the problem was that he was an idiot, and his dick was an even bigger idiot.

Because once again, he was hard and this time, he couldn’t even jerk himself off. He thought of waking you up, but that would embarrass you and he didn’t want to do that. He just sighed and decided to give up. He could definitely spend one sleepless night.

Just then your knee conveniently placed itself on his dick. “Jesus Christ.” He cursed and curled his hands into fists. But due to your squirming, you were rubbing his cock real nice. If this continued, he would cum in his pants like a teenager. No Steve… just no, was all he chanted in his head.

But all the prep talk he gave to himself went down the drain the moment you muttered his name in sleep. “Steve..” your voice was barely a murmur but due to the pin drop silence otherwise, he clearly heard it.

You were having a wet dream about… him? So you thought about too? All this thoughts made his dick harder than steel. He needed to cum, desperately. Helpless, he just closed his eyes and tried deep breathing to calm himself.

Your eyes fluttered open when the dream ended abruptly. You were on edge and just about to cum when the dream had ended, leaving you absolutely horny.

Still sleepy, you snuggled deeper into the warm body besides you. Steve was staring at you as you snapped in and out of consciousness and just pulled him closer.

He couldn’t help but thing how cute you looked asleep. Your eyelashes rested serenely on your cheeks and your face was devoid of any worry. But this thought wasn’t of any help to his raging hard on.

You blinked up to see Steve staring at you with an expression you couldn’t really place. You were suddenly very conscious of your position. You were a little too close to your boss.

Your lips were just a breath apart and you parted yours to mutter an apology, and just as you were about to move away, Steve’s lips came crashing down on yours.

At first you were stunned by the kiss, but soon your closed your eyes and immersed yourself into it. His plump lips were just as soft as you expected them to be.

Your hand snaked up to cup his cheek and you unknowingly ended up straddling him. While one of his huge palms roamed across your back, the other landed on your butt.

You were almost breathless, but kissing Steve was much more important that oxygen. This had been your dream since the day you had met him. When your ass moved a little below, you couldn’t help but notice how hard he was.

You were already wet from the dream and the thin layer of your pajamas and Steve’s sweatpants didn’t stop you from grinding down. You parted from the kiss and moaned as you rubbed yourself over Steve’s cock.

He held onto your hips tighter and pressed down. Steve grunted through his teeth as you sucked and nibbled on the thick column of his neck. “Fuck Steve!” His broad chest was heaving with the breaths he took.

“Don’t stop.” He commanded and pulled you by your hair to kiss you again. This time, it wasn’t gentle or hesitant. Rather it was passionate and urgent, as if he would die if he didn’t kiss you.

Your clit was getting deliciously rubbed on his hard length and the sweatpants were providing the friction you craved. The noises Steve was making were going to forever etched into your brain.

“You’re so beautiful… hhngg.” Steve growled out and despite the activity you were doing, you still felt heat rise up your throat. “Steve… Steve I am..” you ground down even harder than before.

“Yeah… fuck! Cum for me.” You had rarely heard Steve curse and the way he ordered, made you cum on the spot. Your wetness soaked through the pants and your eyes rolled back.

Steve came right after you and a wet patch spread on his sweats too. His face scrunched up and his eyes closed shut when he came, and you weren’t ever going to forget that face.

“Hey...” you didn’t know what else to say. “Hey.” His smile was so relaxed and giddy. Steve placed a hand on your cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. He couldn’t believe how quick you both had come so far.

You pecked his lips once again. “I think we should change our clothes.” He just chuckled and nodded. “Yeah I think we should.” He didn’t want to part from you. It was a new beginning and it felt nice.

~~~

“How do I look?” You twirled around in your dress to give Steve the entire view. Steve was dressed in a suit which was a little too tight, which emphasised all the muscles you now knew were packed inside.

“Magnificent!”

“Sexy!”

Steve and Pietro said at the same time. Steve hadn’t stopped looking at you. And after last night, he saw you in a completely different light. And he didn’t like that Pietro commented too.

Pietro who was just walking by you two, chimed in to say how gorgeous you looked. “Thank you!” You chirped out happily. “You always look captivating, gorgeous.” Pietro teasingly flirted.

Steve saw red. He didn’t know why but he felt jealous. It was just a comment Pietro had said, and Steve knew it was friendly. Yet jealousy reared it’s nose up and the only thing Steve could think was, ‘mine.’

Steve went and stood right besides you and draped his hand over your waist. He cleared his throat and widened his stance. “Someone’s jealous.” Pietro mimicked a whisper and chuckled.

“Knock it off Pietro!” You were liking the the way Steve was getting possessive about you. “Alright… alright….” Pietro chuckled and walked away. Only to wink when he went at a distance.

The moment you two were alone in the corridor, Steve spun you around and crashed your lips together. “Mmph.” Your voice was muffled against his tongue.

He cornered you against the wall and his hands pawed at your hips. “If this is what it takes for you to kiss me, then I’ll make you jealous everyday.” You giggled when he pouted.

“You’re not doing anything like that sweetheart.” He pulled you closer. Your heart fluttered at the pet name. Sweetheart. Boy, you were going to pass out if he continued this.

“I…” Steve was going to tell you that he liked you but just then his phone rang. “One second.” He fumbled to find it and when you both saw the username, the mood entirely changed.

It was Peggy. He answered the phone and his face dropped down instantly. Worry and confusion clouded his face. “Okay. Okay. I’ll be right there.” He cancelled the phone and looked up at you.

All this time he was with you, he hadn’t once thought about Peggy. It was you and only you. But now that call had changed everything. “I have to go.”

“Huh… what?” Just a moment before he was kissing you and now he was going away? “Peggy… she fell down the stairs. I have to go. I’m sorry.” That was all he said before leaving. And you stood there alone, with your own confusion and anger.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Play The Part (K.SJ)

Warnings : swearing, miscarriage, a publicity stunt relationship, fainting

Word Count : 4468

Synopsis : she thought acting alongside her favourite actor would be wonderful, until she realizes he hates her. but as things fall apart around her, kim seokjin is the one to pick up all the pieces, falling in love in the process. 

His hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me from walking any further away. I turned and looked up at him with my tear-filled eyes, pleading for him to just let me go. “I can’t let you go.” His own eyes filled with tears at his words.

“You have to.” Silence settled around us. We stood there, staring at each other. I didn’t want to leave, but I had to.

“Why?” There it was. The dreaded question that was on his mind.

“Because I’m protecting my heart. I’m breaking your heart before you can break mine.” I admitted, fruitlessly wiping at the tears streaming down my face.

“Who says I’m going to break your heart?” He yelled.

“Everyone I love leaves me.” I glanced down at his hand that was still wrapped around my wrist, his grip tightening only slightly. I met his eyes again, my tears calming. “Can you promise me right now that if I don’t walk away, that you’ll stay?” His grip loosened and my arm dropped back down to my side.

“And cut!” The director yelled and Seokjin immediately left the set we were standing on. My eyes followed him, wondering what I had done to make him hate me so much. “Y/N, your acting was so beautiful!” The director praised, placing his hands on my shoulders. I smiled up at him, thanking him for his kind words.

Taehyung, another co-star and Seokjin’s brother, sat in my dressing room as per usual, jumping up to greet me. I chuckled as he threw his arms around me, going on about how amazing I did during that last scene. “Don’t lie to her, Tae.” When I turned towards where the voice was coming from, Seokjin was leaning against the doorframe, his infamous smirk dancing across his lips. The same lips I’ve kissed multiple times now. The same lips I tend to dream about.

“Yah, hyung, don’t be so rude.” Taehyung whined, furrowing his brows at his older brother. I smiled up at him, telling him not to worry.

“I can handle criticism. What do you think I could do better, Seokjin?” I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his response. He stood straighter, dropping his arms that were once crossed across his chest back to his side.

“Quit.” He said simply as if that was an option this late into the drama. “Jungkook and Namjoon are meeting us at the restaurant.” His words are now directed at Taehyung, and with that, he takes his leave, leaving me absolutely dumbfounded.

“Don’t listen to him, Y/N. I think you’re amazing.” I nodded, telling him he should hurry to meet his friends. “Did you want to come?” He asked, his hard to resist pout on his face.

“I don’t think I’m invited.” I joked, reading through the texts I missed while filming. “Besides, it looks like Bang Chan is picking me up for date night.” I smiled. Chan will definitely be a breath of fresh air from this shitty day. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I grabbed my purse and quickly headed outside to meet Chan.

“Hey, there’s my beautiful girlfriend.” He smiled when I emerged from the doors, and immediately brought me in for a kiss. “Are you hungry? Should we go eat?” I nodded excitedly as he led me to his car.

When we got to the restaurant, the last thing I was expecting was to hear someone call my name. I smiled widely when I saw Jungkook waving at me, and then laughed to myself when I realized that Seokjin and Taehyung were on there way here. “Why don’t you join us?” Jungkook also looked up at me with his hard to resist pout, but Bang Chan and I didn’t get a lot of time for date night.

“We’d love to.” Chan chimed in, placing his hand on my back. “It’s still date night because we’re with each other.” He whispered into my ear before we took two empty seats at the table. “I’m Bang Chan.” He held out his hand for Jungkook and Namjoon to shake, a cute smile on his face as the other two introduced themselves as well.

“Y/N talks about you a lot!” Jungkook spoke up with a smile, and I couldn’t help the blush that rose to my cheeks.

“I guess it’s only fair, since I talk my friend’s ears off about her all the time.” I lightly hit his arm and he chuckled, taking my hand in his, bringing it to his lips for a quick kiss.

“What are you doing here?” Seokjin quipped as soon as he was sitting down.

“I was invited. Twice actually.” He rolled his eyes and proceeded to ignore my entire existence, as he usually does. I tried to enjoy myself, to pretend that Jin’s words didn’t bother me. I tried to pretend he wasn’t even there and enjoy the evening with my boyfriend and friends.

The next day, I stood across from Taehyung for his confession scene. I could see Seokjin in my peripherals, most likely judging every move I make. “Why can’t you look at me the way you look at him?” Taehyung yelled, tears welling up in his eyes. “I’ve been right in front of you this entire time. I’m always there for you, every single time he hurts you.” His voice was softening with each word. He’s such an amazing actor, my heart was breaking the more he spoke. “I would never hurt you like that. I love you.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, tears welling up in my own eyes. “I just can’t stop loving him.”

“Cut!” The director called with a wide smile on his face. “Beautiful as always, Y/N!” He exclaimed, draping his arm across my shoulders, and walked off the set with me, going on and on about how excited he was for this drama. “Go take a break. I’ll have someone come get you for your next scene.” I smiled and started off towards my dressing room when Jin stopped me by grabbing my upper arm.

“I thought you should see this.” He held his phone up to my face, and I could feel my heart break at the image on the screen. There was pictures of Chan with another girl. He was wearing a hat and a mask, but I’d recognize him anywhere. I’ve been in love with him for 2 years now. “You okay?” He removed his hand from my arm and slid his phone into his pocket.

“What do you think?” I scoffed. “I just found out that my boyfriend of 2 years is cheating on me. Do you think I’d be okay?”

“I’m sorry.” His voice was soft. “No one deserves that, not even you.” He gave me a sad smile. I just thanked him and walked to my dressing room, seeing Chan sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, standing in the doorway, my hand still on the doorknob. Chan looked up with a smile on his face, and I could feel myself crumbling. I wanted to be strong, but his smile has always been my weakness.

“I figured I’d bring you some food.” He said, pointing to the array of takeout bags on the table in front of him. “Thought we could have a mini date while you’re waiting to film.” He spoke like nothing was wrong. Like he didn’t just break my heart and tore my world apart.

“Chan don’t play with me right now. I know about her.” He smile seemed to fall at my words. I watched as he visibly swallowed and stood up from the couch.

“I guess it’s time you know the truth.” He told me softly as he walked towards me. “I don’t love you, Y/N.” The tears I was trying to hold in started to fall in that moment. “Our relationship was a publicity stunt set up by our companies.” He continued. “My group wasn’t doing as well as we hoped when we first debuted, and you were having a hard time moving on from your previous relationship.” He explained, and I tried so hard not to sob in front of him. “They thought it would be best if you didn’t know about it, let you move on naturally.”

“So you thought it would be best for me to fall in love with you and end up heartbroken again?” He reached out for me, but before I could move away from his touch, a hand grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t touch her.” Beside me stood Kim Seokjin with a look of pure anger on his face. “Leave and don’t think of contacting Y/N ever again.” He dropped his hand and moved out of the way to allow him to leave. “What a disgusting guy.” Jin scoffed as he watched Chan leave. “Enjoy the food he brought you and relax a bit.” I nodded and watched as he walked away as if he didn’t just do what he did. And I pretended like my heart wasn’t pounding in my chest.

For the next couple of weeks, I threw myself into my work. I put on my brave face and pretended I wasn’t hurting. I put my entire heart into my work. And I knew everyone around me could tell I was trying to distract myself from my breakup that recently went public. I could see the looks of pity from staff members and other cast members. Taehyung tried his best to help distract me, and for that I’m thankful. Even Seokjin was nicer to me, bringing me a coffee every morning. He even began to bring me home cooked meals, saying he noticed I wasn’t eating as much.

“If you want to love me, then just love me!” Jin yelled as we acted out the dramatic reconciliation scene.

“I don’t want to love someone who doesn’t love me!” I yelled back, feeling myself get dizzy. I could see the edges of my vision getting dark, but I pushed through.

“I fucking love you, okay?! I always have.” It was my line; I knew it was. But when I opened my mouth, no sound came out. The next thing I remember was falling to the ground as everyone called out my name.

When I woke up some time later, Taehyung was sitting in the chair beside me while Jin sat in a chair across the room. “Hey.” Taehyung spoke softly. “Let me grab the doctor.” He brought the hand he was holding up to his lips and placed a soft kiss to it before leaving the room to grab the doctor.

“I know you’re hurting, but you need to take care of yourself.” Jin spoke up, barely looking up from his phone. “The director said we’re going to take a break. We start filming again in about a week, so take this time to get better.”

“I never thanked you for standing up for me when Chan told me our relationship was fake.” Jin just nodded.

“Anyone would have done what I did put in that situation. Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I think you deserve that kind of shit.”

“Why do you dislike me so much anyway?” At this question, he lowered his phone and looked at me.

“You’re a rookie actress. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am, and then some model comes along and gets a lead role in her first audition. The director always goes on about how great you are, but you’re average at best. Any other actress could do what you do.” I nodded, understanding where he came from. He was right.

“You know I got into acting because of you. My dream was to act alongside you, Kim Seokjin. And lucky me, my first role is opposite you.” I chuckled. Before he could say anything, Taehyung returned with the doctor.

“Miss L/N, I’m sorry to tell you that you suffered a miscarriage.” My heart stopped. “The shock of it caused you to collapse today. "I’ve prescribed these pills for you to take so you can pass the fetus.” Tears sprung to my eyes. Something I had wanted for so long was so close in my reach and I had no idea.

“Thank you.” I whispered, taking the bottle from his hands, and staring at it.

“Everything else seems normal. So you’re welcome to go home.” I could barely hear his words, ringing in my ears taking over all the sounds as I stared at the pill bottle in my hands.

“We’ll take you home.” Taehyung whispered, taking one of my hands in his, pulling my attention from the pills to him. “Change into this, we’ll wait outside the door for you.” I nodded. Him and Jin stepped outside the door, and I slowly got up and changed out of the hospital gown.

The drive to my house felt like a sick, twisted dream. My hand rested on my stomach as I stared out the window, the quiet conversation happening in the front between the two brothers not even registering in my ears. All I could think about was the unborn baby I’d never get to meet. “Did you want me to stay with you?” Taehyung asked when we pulled up to my house. I shook my head, quietly telling him I wanted to be alone.

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, running my hands over my stomach, imagining what I’d look like with a baby bump. Imagining what I’d be like as a mom. The pill bottle sat on the sink counter while I smiled through the tears, saying a quiet goodbye to the unborn baby I named Haneul, meaning heaven.

I spent the next few hours laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, my tears officially stopped. I fell asleep at some point, waking up only because someone was ringing my doorbell. It was close to noon the next day, so I pulled myself out of bed, wondering who would be bothering me right now. “I figured you wouldn’t be taking care of yourself properly.” Jin said when I opened the door. He slid his shoes off and slipped on a pair of house slippers as if he’s been here a million times before. It was then that I noticed the grocery bags in his hands. I watched in awe as he walked to my kitchen, setting everything down and beginning to cook as if he lives here.

Eventually, I found my way to the couch in my living room, turning on the tv for some background noise. I stared straight at it, but I wasn’t paying attention, instead living in my own mind, wondering what Haneul would have been like. “Drink this.” Jin said softly, handing me a cup of tea as he sat on the chair beside the couch I sat on. “Food is almost ready.” I nodded, softly blowing on the freshly made tea. “Did you want to talk about it?” I sat there, thinking about what I could say. Jin sat there, staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

“I always wanted to be a mom.” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant.” I felt numb. I cried myself to sleep and I was completely cried out. Jin silently reached out, taking my free hand in his, running his thumb across my knuckles which was surprisingly soothing.

“You’re going to make a great mom someday, Y/N.” His voice was just as soft as mine as he spoke. All I could do was nod. The two of us sat there for a couple minutes in silence as he continued to hold my hand and I sipped on my tea. Eventually he got up to finish the food he was making and returned. We continued to sit in silence, pretending to watch whatever was on tv as we ate.

Jin ended up staying the entire day, only leaving once the sun had set and stars littered the sky. “I’m sorry for being so rude to you.” He said before turning and walking out the door. I watched as he got into his car and drove away with a soft smile on my face.

He ended up coming over every day during our week-long break. He would cook for us and we’d sit and eat while watching something on tv. We’d talk and get to know each other, and I found myself not wanting him to leave when nighttime rolled around.

I thought I’d spend this week in bed, mourning the loss of the child I never got to meet. Laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, letting the days pass by slowly until I could throw myself into work again and pretend this never happened.

Instead, I spent the week laughing so hard I could feel abs forming. I spent it getting to know the actor I’ve looked up to since his very first role, who ended up being the same man who hated me for months. The pain I felt just days ago seemed to fade into the background as I enjoyed my time with Kim Seokjin.

The day we returned to work, Taehyung immediately threw his arms around me, asking if I was doing okay. “I’m fine, Tae.” I giggled. He pushed back from the hug, looking at me with wide eyes while I looked up at him with a smile. “Have I ever told you how pretty you are when you smile?” He beamed, pinching my cheek, and I couldn’t help but let out another giggle.

“Only every day since the day we met.”

“And I will continue to do so until the day we die.” He huffed, booping my nose as Jin approached the two of us, handing me a coffee.

“Glad to see you looking like yourself.” Jin smiled as I took the coffee from his hand and taking a sip. Since day one of him bringing me coffee, I always wondered how he knew my coffee order, but I decided not to overthink it and just be grateful.

Our chemistry on screen definitely improved thanks to our week spent together. We started with the scene I fainted during, blowing everyone away with the emotions we portrayed so easily. “I don’t want to give my all if you’re going to walk away.” My voice was soft as my eyes welled up with tears. Jin reached out, cupping my face, and slowly wiping away the few tears that fell.

“I’ll never walk away from you. Not this time.” He started leaning in, and I could feel the butterflies erupt in my stomach. As his face got closer to mine, my eyes fluttered closed, as did his. And before I knew it, his lips were pressed to mine. It was like my body was shocked with electricity the moment our lips touched and moved in sync. My hands made their way to his chest, balling his shirt up in my fists.

Everyone seemed to disappear while I focused on the feeling of his lips on mine. It was like we were no longer filming a drama, like he was kissing me because he wanted to. And I didn’t want it to end. But it did. He pulled away, resting his forehead on mine. “I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”

“Cut!” Slowly, Jin backed away from me, unlike all the other times we’ve filmed in which he would rushed off set as if I was a disease he didn’t want to catch. “That was the best take in the entire drama!” The director exclaimed as he walked over to us. My face felt hot when I realized just how many people were watching that scene being filmed. “Let’s keep this chemistry up for the rest of the drama!” Jin and I both nodded before walking off set to get ready for the next scene.

“Holy shit that was steamy!” Taehyung exclaimed, throwing his arms around both of us.

The rest of filming that day went just as well, everyone fawning over our new found chemistry. Every time, my face would go hot and I would avoid eye contact with everyone, hoping these new feelings would stay hidden. “We’re grabbing dinner with some friends; did you want to join?” Jin asked as I walked out of my dressing room, ready to go home and order in.

“Did my hyung really just ask Y/N to join us to dinner?!” Taehyung gasped, looking between the two of us.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Tae. We’re friends now.” Friends. The word rolled off his tongue so easily, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. I realized I didn’t want to be friends with Kim Seokjin. I wanted more; so much more.

I wanted to wake up to his face, his arms wrapped around my body as the sun illuminated his handsome face. I wanted to watch him cook all the time, practically dancing around the kitchen. I wanted to come home after a stressful day and see him on the couch, sipping on a drink while watching something on tv. I’d cuddle up to him and feel immediately better, forgetting whatever it was that made me annoyed. He’d tell me about his day, playing with my hair, his voice soft as he spoke. I wanted to kiss him whenever I wanted, claiming him as mine as strangers passed by. I wanted everything with Kim Seokjin; his good and his bad.

In just a short amount of time, he had helped me move on from Chan, the broken heart I once felt, completely forgotten. It was the fastest I’d ever fallen for someone, and I was terrified. But I put on a smile and agreed to dinner, following Jin and Tae to the parking lot.

Namjoon and Jungkook were already at the restaurant, joined by a couple guys I’ve yet to meet. Jungkook’s eyes widened when he saw me walking in with Jin and Taehyung, and they almost popped out when Jin pulled out my chair for me and taking the spot beside me. “That’s Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin. Guys, this is Y/N.” He introduced before picking up the menu and scanning through every item. Jungkook and Taehyung exchanged looks as they watched the interactions between Jin and I, both wondering what changed. “This is one of my favourites.” Jin whispered, pointing to something on the menu. “But I think you’d like this better.” He turned the page and pointed to something else.

“How do you know me so well?” I chuckled after reading what was in the dish, my mouth watering at the very thought. Jin’s ears turned a light red as a blush dusted his cheeks. He shrugged and continued looking through his menu.

After receiving our food, the 8 of us slowly ate while making conversation. The guys shared stories of their adventures together, causing the others to cringe in embarrassment, but I couldn’t help but laugh. They’ve known each other for years now, and it was evident by the teasing and playful banter.

I sat mostly silent, watching their interactions, and smiling to myself. My eyes continuously drifted to the handsome man beside me, watching how he interacted with the younger boys. I was so entranced by him that I didn’t notice the eyes on me from across the table, questioning my every move. Jungkook would ask me later how I felt about Jin, but I just brushed it off.

When Jin and Tae drove me home, Jin actually got out of his car and walked me to the door, using the excuse that he wanted to make sure I got inside okay. “I hope they weren’t overwhelming.” He said as we stood outside my door.

“I had fun.” I smiled and silence surrounded us, neither of us knowing what to say but not ready to say goodbye quite yet. It felt too much like the end of a date for my liking, my hopes raising the longer he stood in front of me, kicking his feet while glancing at me every once in a while.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He eventually broke the silence and turned and walked away. I once again watched as he got into his car and drove off, a small smile on my face. I fell in love with Kim Seokjin.

The filming for the drama soon wrapped up, and everyone talked about how big a hit it’s going to be. “It was nice working with you.” Jin said, leaning against the doorway of my dressing room. I was packing up my things to make room for whoever was going to use this room next. “Maybe we’ll act again together in the future.” A wide smile danced across his lips, and it took everything in me not to kiss him.

Now that I know what it’s like to kiss Kim Seokjin, I never wanted to stop. I was addicted to the feeling of his lips on mine. “Don’t be a stranger. Let’s grab dinner sometime.” I smiled, throwing my bag over my shoulder, and walking towards the door.

“With everyone else, or just us?” His wide smile turned teasing in a matter of seconds, and the butterflies in my stomach couldn’t seem to calm down.

“I wouldn’t mind it being just us.” I laced my words with a teasing tone, hoping he wouldn’t catch on to the feelings I’ve developed that seemed to only grow stronger in his presence.

“Are you asking me on a date, Miss Y/N?” He stood up straight, crossing his arms across his chest. In that moment, I decided to be bold, taking a step closer to him.

“And if I am?” I too crossed my arms across my chest as I watched a smile break out on his face.

“Then I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 6. Now, let me drive you home.” He grabbed my hand, causing my arms to drop to my sides, and laced our fingers together. Taehyung was watching everything play out, calling after that Jungkook will pick him up, and to use protection.

“I can’t believe I get to go on a date with my favourite actor.” I joked when we were in the car. Jin let out a laugh, glancing over at me for only a second before looking back to the road. “Who would have thought my favourite actor would return my feelings?!” I exclaimed as I turned my body slightly to watch Jin drive.

“Are you going to be saying this the entire time we date?” He chuckled. “Because I might just fuck around and marry you if that’s the case.”

“Take my whole heart, Kim Seokjin. I don’t even want it back!”

[roger-that-cap]

right where you left me

summary: this is the fourth prompt of @caplanbuckybarnes ‘s summary challenge! this idea kind of went a little crazy on my part, but the prompt is: remember when you said you’d marry me? today’s our wedding day and you’re not here to see it. 

warnings: y’all, i really said that i didn’t write angst and then made cardigan, and then this after one serious talk with @teenwonder - yeah, so this is angst? i wrote this while extremely vulnerable so this is very messy- deepest apologies

note: yes, the title is a taylor swift song. it is a must listen if you haven’t heard it, please!

word count: this is literally a baby, the shortest thing i’ve ever written- 1.4k

also guys, i got to 300 followers sometime last night- thank you!! i’m so glad that other people are enjoying my stuff, it’s such a great feeling.

If you had known that one person wasn’t coming back after retrieving the soul stone, you would have gone with Natasha instead of letting Clint go, and you would have forced her to let it be you. At least, that was your main thought for weeks and weeks, until the hole in your heart grew bigger and the rock on your finger grew almost too heavy to carry. Then, after your anger at her for leaving you in the dark and alone faded, you realized that it was just sadness. Nothing but. And for a while, it seemed to be going on a steady incline, and nothing was even close to getting better. 

You woke up every morning in emotional pain. Every morning, the right side of the bed was cold. Every morning, there was a lack of eyes on your face, and of feather light touches going down your back. There were no whispered Russian words or sweet nothings spoken in English. It was just you and no one else, and you could have never imagined that peace and quiet could have ever been so destructive. You would never be over the fact that it seemed like everyone had gotten their loved ones back, clicked right back into place like they never left to begin with, but you were stuck. Stuck in time, stuck in emotions, stuck with your body still aging but your heart never moving on. You were on a spinning platform, watching everyone grow old and renewing old vows and having kids, and you couldn’t get off. You would be there for the rest of your life, right where she left you. And then, that was when you took your original thought back. 

You would have never been able to leave her in the amount of sadness that she left you. 

You knew that she was always self-sacrificing, no matter how much she liked to pretend that she wasn’t the sort of team player that the world needed. It showed in the way she spoke about certain topics, the way she always secretly cared for the underdog, how she always stood up for recruits trying to prove themselves,  and even how she always watched out for the little guy and stuck her neck out for the people she knew needed a little more help than others. Hell, she met you by sticking her neck out for a stranger. You were fighting a man inches taller than you who had a knife swinging at you so wildly that you were sure that he was actually going to get you with his manic jabs. She came flying in out of nowhere without a sound like some sort of battle angel, and before you even realized who she was, she stepped in, took a shallow stab for you, and then dropped him so quickly that you were scared he was dead. 

  She sported that scar for the rest of her life, and at first, it brought shame to you. It made you feel guilty; knowing that your weakness caused another person to wear a scar on their body. Especially her and her body, because she was flawless. Because as hard as she seemed, she was beautiful inside and out, and she didn’t deserve to have any scar of any kind. As your love grew on, things changed, and that godforsaken scar became the flame to your hovering moth. Your fingers always managed to find it, even over her civilian clothes or tactical suit, and your lips always brushed over it when the lights were out and the air was thin between the two of you, when all there was was you and her and the candles that burned on the other side of the room. 

Now, you couldn’t imagine not wanting to see that scar. All you wanted was to trace it with your fingers even though you knew every single puckered spot that hadn’t healed correctly, and every curve of the scar itself. You couldn’t think of a more peaceful scene than placing light kisses on it and then looking her in the eyes, watching her smile that pretty little smile she did every time, the one that said that she would jump in front of the knife a thousand times over again. 

 So, yeah, you knew that she was self sacrificing. But you would have never thought that she would leave you in shambles. And shambles was what you were in as you sat in the apartment, the one that you used to share that you had nearly cleared out with the help of a pitying Sam and Maria Hill, in your beautiful white gown that you were so certain matched the one that Natasha had picked for herself. 

You still hadn’t seen it. 

  You were in the entire outfit. Your shoes were strapped on lazily, your veil was pushed back and crinkled, your mascara was running, but your dress was perfect. Your dress was frozen in time, stuck in a day that it had never even seen play out. Your sobs echoed louder than any laughter in the apartment had now that all the picture frames and decor had been torn down. 

  She was supposed to marry you. That was the promise that the both of you made when she got on one knee after the best day at Coney Island, surprising you only because you had a black box in your pocket, too. You were supposed to marry Natasha Romanoff, and your wedding day was here, knocking loud and proud, standing on your doorstep. It was the day, the one that was staring at you in the form of the glaring pink sharpie that you two had used to circle the day on the calendar. The calendar was the only thing still up in your apartment, as if you could ever forget the date. 

Suddenly, the dress that fit you perfectly began to feel tight. The necklace that you picked because it was elegant and light felt heavy around your neck, like a collar of sadness preparing to choke you at any second. You stood up, ready to take it all off and throw your dress and all of it off of the top of Stark fucking Tower, but then the heels that were your perfect height felt too tall. You collapsed back onto the couch, bawling your eyes out and whispering her name like a prayer over and over again, like it would bring her back to you, standing in a radiant white dresses that you could have only dreamed of. You could imagine it, her staring down at you with the soft smile she reserved for you that you missed so much, hand reaching out for yours, and you would have stretched to the point of desperation just to touch her. The door to your apartment had been unlocked and there was a quiet shuffling that signaled people coming in, but you didn’t care. 

You didn’t care that they were her friends, or yours. You didn’t care that they had somehow gotten a key to your apartment, or that they looked almost as heartbroken as you did, sitting on the floor of the apartment that used to be shared, and so full of life and love. You didn’t care that you could hardly breathe through the pain or through your chest rattling sobs, nor did you care that someone had their arms wrapped around you and was trying to break through your eternal wall of grief. 

You and your dress were stuck in time. Stuck in a place where nothing bad ever happened to you or Natasha, in a timeline where you two managed to get married. In your mind, you were looking at Natasha while you threw your bouquet at your small group of friends, wide smiles on the both of your faces as you heard their playful squeals. In reality, you were sobbing on your floor, dust collecting on you and your true emotions as pages of reality and dream world stuck to each other. She left you, and she left you with no choice but to stay in a moment that would never happen forever. You flinched when you felt the arm squeeze you gently, forcing you to look at who was truly there in the flesh in front of you. It wasn’t her. 

  But it was your wedding day. And she was never going to be there to see it. 

****

i got sad and selfishly decided to make it other people’s problems- this is the result

[mymadmedleyw]

Corruption

(ao3), belongs under Certain Moment of Time, could be read independently, just as each for the days will be shorts, but all together forming a whole picture

TW: miscarriage, stillbirth

(I didn’t add here the slight clarification for the end, it could be reached by the ao3 link as the end note - not necessarily needed, just if you want)

---

The longer he stared at the small figure, the tiny lifeless body, the cruellest he felt it. If he really had to pay for the only thing he ever wanted in his life, then let be it, but not this way… this was- this was just much. He couldn't ask him to- to do what exactly? He wasn't told. And either he wasn't sure if he had to do something at all, but- just a minute ago, when he had appeared in the hallway – mistaking the wing and the corridor with the place where he had been – he just thought, he had been placed back to his hospital room, but- but then, as he had tried to walk away, shamelessly going back to his miserable life, he had caught a heart-breaking begging. The voice had been too familiar, even after all those years. Jack Fenton – that Jack Fenton, who had destroyed his life, and had cursed him to this life – had been crying, squeezing on a small child's hand next to him…

Then he put it together. He wasn't in the hospital, where he was kept under quarantine, no. Then the bright gaze had looked at him, right to him, like- like she could have asked him to do the impossible….

He couldn't tell, how he then had got into the other side of the door, how he had felt seeing Maddie with a child, how- how he had managed to stay motionless, when the devices beeped, alarming the doctors about something that didn't suppose to happen, then- then he was here now, staring at the boy – Jack Fenton's boy – laying unmoved for several minutes. His mind was blank, still processing the mourning of his, still so vividly seeing in his mind the picture of his Maddie: pale, hopeless, ruined. What was he supposed to do? What he had expected him to do?

This was just cruel, telling him, all could be done better, all could turn out better, because this just wasn't better at all. Maddie was alive, yes, resting, unaware yet of the loss, but- but this, once if she woke up, this would wreck her, just as- just as he was slowly was crushing her during the years…

Vlad swallowed, slightly surprised even in this so loathed ghost form he could take breaths… breaths, that someone couldn't. At least, not the child in front of him. He couldn't tell why the doctors hadn't already taken it somewhere else. Were they seriously waiting for the mother to wake up and inform her about the news?! Now, Vlad was disgusted. He didn't know how these things were going, but- but he couldn't let it happen. Hardly, he could ask him, or even assuming that it was nothing just a lecture, and then he would have been just placed back to the original state, to that damn hospital bed, hating his life and- and not saying out that request… no, it was what he deserved, but-

Suddenly, the view of Maddie appeared behind his closed eyelids, apologising to him for the other failure, and- no, that had been his fault. This, now, wasn't related to him at all. It was Maddie Fenton's life. Not his Maddie's. Why was he even still standing there? Staring at the boy, like- like it could give him any answers.

Vlad reached out to the tiny body, ruining his gloved invisible fingers on the lifeless face. It could have been his. But no, he reminded himself. It never could have been his. Maybe if he hadn't been touched by a strong unearthly contamination from another dimension that had effects on his biology, maybe then, but- to tell the truth, he had a very serious feeling – just as a joke – either over his state he couldn't have any. This was what others could have and- he just simply couldn't.

The hollow voice came back to his mind, as his Maddie was breathing out heartbroken over the loss, telling that even after she promised herself to not giving names to each, after the first few tries, she still named it. She so had thought it would survive this time… she had cried silently over it, gripping on his hands, and apologising – like this all would have been her fault…

"Daniel…" Vlad whispered ahead. His boy's name would have been Daniel… and now, there was another dead child, a yet unnamed one, a never alive one of Maddie and- he bit his lips hard, feeling acidic fluid leaking from it. No. No. Even if it wasn't his child, but- no. He couldn't watch again her face as broken as it would be always burned into his memories.

Vlad tried to shove away the slight little reminder that now it was Jack Fenton's son, and that the man didn't deserve it, didn't deserve another shiny star on his flawless, easy life, but- and, yes, Vlad hard forced the more and more shouting thoughts in his mind to just simply go away, let it be like that, but-

"No." he said out, feeling harder to breathe, but all the more determined to do something with it, even if his sanity was constantly coming up with a reason why he shouldn't. And he had believed the years in the hospital was his hardest time…

To be honest, he didn't have any slightest idea what he was doing, either if that would work at all, but- but it had to. There was no way, it wouldn't. The reached-out hand over the small body, almost entirely covered it, then he focused on the weird pulling in his chest Vlad had earlier been alienated from, fighting against what he was – like he could escape from it… then the child's white as snow skin brightened up along with his glowing fingers.

After each passed second, the note that he was doing this for Maddie became like a burn mark, never leaving him, until- until a clenched together tiny fingers twitched. It was only a wee bit movement, but he still recoiled, startled, like- like he would have seen a- ghost. (Yeah, right, what was scarier if someone was a matter of fact functioning as a partly ecto-entity…) Then a moment later the eyes of the infant snapped open, lit up neon, looking towards the only direction where someone was. The colour petrified Vlad, making him stepping back, recalling the swirling greenness of the Proto-Portal. The eyes a second later slipped back to a normal – human – bright blue, but-

He wasn't sure, the momentary sight shocked him or the realisation frozen him, unable to move from the spot while suddenly everything around him became alive again. Vlad couldn't tell either for how long he was standing there, hand stopped in the air, and what exactly made him move away, but for sure the first thing that got his attention was an echoing relieved laughing from the hallway.

Then who knew how many minutes – or hours – later, Vlad dared to take a look at his trembling hand, still in a way surrounded by a magenta halo. What he had done? He just- he just cursed a small boy, an infant, at the beginning of life, to the same fate as his was…

He couldn't even feel the walls, or the ceiling, as he phased out, out of this place, leaving this place behind, flying away as fast as he could and never looking back, not even- not even letting his mind bring back the picture of those eyes… no, he hadn't been there, this all hadn't happened, this- this was just insane. The all was just a bad dream, a nightmare, and in truth, he had never left his bed, right? Because- because it just couldn't be the truth… that he- he had made the boy the monster he was…

[yodawgiherd]

End of an Era

It was fun while it lasted guys :)

>>>Read on AO3<<<

And one night, without any warning, the last piece of the puzzle came. The dream told her everything, ran over the entirety of her life, and when the old and wrinkled soldier Mikasa closed her eyes for the last time, she woke up with unshed tears brimming in the corners.

Next to her, the devil she decapitated slept peacefully, with no marks or scars under his eyes. She didn’t want to wake him yet, as there was another person Mikasa needed to talk to right now, so getting out of the bed carefully she located her phone.

“M-Mikasa?”, a yawn, “It’s four in the morning, why are you calling me?”

“I’m sorry Armin, I have to ask you something.”, Mikasa whispered, keeping her voice low not to wake Eren, “please…”

“Sure, just…” another yawn, this time even longer, “Give me a second so I can collect my brain from the dreamland.”

Mikasa could hear the phone being put down and then the rustling of bedding on the other side as Armin was most likely stretching and fully waking up. She waited patiently until he picked the device up again, speaking in a much clearer voice.

“Ok, I guess I’m functional now. What’s up?”

“In the book you are writing, does the main pairing gets a happy ending? Do they get together?”

“I… Uh… Is that why you woke me?”

“Armin, please. It’s important to me.”

In truth, the blond had no idea why Mikasa was suddenly so interested in the ending of his story. Sure, she read it during development and said that it was good, but there’s a difference between that and calling at four AM to grill him about the ending she didn’t get to see yet because Armin finished it about a week ago. Then again, her voice was completely serious and while Mikasa did like some fun pranks from time to time, this didn’t sound like one at all. So, following her wish, Armin gave her an honest answer.

“No, they don’t. The girl is forced to kill her love interest to save the world from him, but it's sort of bittersweet because their friends get to live a happy life after.”

There was a gasp on the other side as if he confirmed some of Mikasa’s suspicions.

“Why?”

“Well, people like angst, and giving everyone a happy ending is a bit of a cliché, no? I mean…”

“Why her though, wasn’t she the heroine?”

“Yes, but she can move on in time you know, forget about him and whatnot.”

There was a bit of silence on the other side before Mikasa spoke again, this time in a small and sad voice.

“Could you change it? Please, for me.”

“How?”

“Just make her happy…”

Running a hand through his sleep-tussled hair Armin puffed out air, turning the possibilities in his head. It wouldn’t be that hard to make Mikasa’s wish come true. He had a lot of supernatural going on in his book, monsters, and gods, a simple resurrection wouldn’t break the story. Plus it was rare to hear Mikasa beg like this, she was usually the “cool and stoic” type, and it tugged at Armin’s heart.

Hell, why not.

“All right, I’ll do it somehow.”

“You will?!”

“Yeah, but you’ll owe me one.”

There was happy and relieved laughter on the other side.

“Of course, I’ll do anything Ar, thank you so much!”

With a click, the call ended and Mikasa let out a long breath, rubbing the unshed tears from her eyes. It would seem that Armin wasn’t writing a story, more like remembering it, but unlike the one that happened this one would get a different ending.

Mikasa told Eren everything over breakfast, hugging a warm cup of coffee with both hands. He didn’t say anything while she spoke, just listened, his green eyes taking all of her in, both words and gestures. Only when she finished did he let out a long breath, one that felt like he was holding in for an eternity.

“This is a lot to take in.”, he said, “Especially at once.”

“I know…, you don’t have to believe me but…”

“I believe you. Every word.”

“Just like that?”

A firm nod.

“You believe it, and I see no reason why I should not. Past lives and other-universe memories can exist, it's not like the entire human psyche has been mapped.”

He looked away for a second.

“The Eren you described, he is so different than me, yet so terrifyingly similar in some aspects. I can sit here and say that I would never cause the apocalypse but in his place…? I just can’t know for sure.”

“I guess we are lucky that we don’t have to find out.”, Mikasa offered, “This life is so much better than whatever they went through...”

“For sure.”

“And that’s not all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I think I married someone… Jean maybe? Had kids with him too.”

“Oh my god.”, Eren threw an arm over his face dramatically, “Out of all people, why him?”

“I… I don’t know if it was him but….”

“Please Miki, I get that I died, and you wanted to move on, but didn’t your past life have any taste ?”

“Hey! Jean is nice.”

He peeked at her from under his arm.

“Nice huh?”

“Yea, nice. You know what, if you die I’m going to marry him here too.”

The fingers that were till now peacefully resting on her hip curved and dug into her flesh, a dangerous flash in the emerald that stared at her.

“You’re just trying to rile me, is that it?”

She fought the grin, not wanting it to reveal the joke.

“Maybe…”

However, Eren’s grip weakened as his face grew distant, the classic “philosophical” look entering his features.

“Would that be fair to him though? Jean is… okay I guess, and you treating him like an afterthought, a second choice? Not nice.”

Mikasa’s smile faltered when she realized that, and Eren was not even done with his speech.

“Then again, if I’ll be dead then I guess I have no agenda in telling you what to do. Plus I think I’d be happier if you moved on and had a family instead of mourning me forever. You are too young for that.”

These words hit way too close to Mikasa’s dream, and she could feel the sadness rising in the chest again. To battle it, she took hold of Eren’s chin and tugged it down until their lips were touching.

“Hey, not more talk about death, okay?”, she ordered, “I had enough of that while sleeping.”

“Yes ma’am.”

When she kissed him, Mikasa’s sadness melted away again, chased away by Eren’s warmth against her. Maybe her other self had to settle for something else, but not her. She was here and she had the love of her life right in her arms, in her bed, and she couldn’t be happier about it.

Eren mulled the facts over for a time, putting them together in his head. It was a nice day outside, and while he did all the math Mikasa simply watched him with a faint smile on her lips. It was almost noon when he came to her with a new question.

“So let me get this straight – I didn’t achieve anything In the end? My island was still nuked and the monsters…”

“Titans.”, Mikasa corrected him.

“Right, titans. Those are still around? Man, I guess I was turned into a clown at the end.”

She didn’t know how to disagree with any of those points.

“And the point of it all was nothing? That no matter how hard you struggle to save something you hold dear it will end up destroyed anyway?”

“It does sound hopeless when you put it like that.”

He snorted.

“Guess I was a certified clown then – oh well, now you see what zero pussy does to a motherfuc…”

“No, no, oh my god.”, Mikasa interrupted him, “Why do you keep making fun of it, I swear you are such a kid and…”

“W-What?”, Eren had trouble speaking because of the laughter, “It’s true! I died for nothing in your dream, I was a joke.”

“No… It wasn’t like that.”

“Take it as you will, but all my nightmares became reality and…”

Eren tapped the table a few times, most likely trying to wrap his head around it all.

“…you married Jean.”

“Well… yea, that was a bit weird.”

“Was it? I mean, the guy had a crush on you.”

She blinked at him.

“It was just a tiny one if there even was one at all.”

“Oh c’mon Miki,”, Eren’s grin was wide, “You couldn’t be that dense.”

“I-I mean…”

Jean? A crush? It reminded her of that night, not that long ago when she found out that most if not all of her female friends would like to have some sort of intimate experiments with her.

“Doesn’t matter.”, she blurted, “He’s a good friend, and I like him a lot, but not romantically!”

“He will be heartbroken…”

“He will?”

“Nah,”, Eren chuckled, “Jean got over it, he and Hitch are happy together, as far as I know.”

“That’s good, a crush is hardly a good base for a real-life relationship.”

“Then I guess we can be happy that you guys married in a dream only.”

“Indeed.”, she reached over the table to gently touch his face, “Here I have you.”

Eren mirrored her gesture, letting his thumb stroke the scar on Mikasa’s cheek.

“And I have you.”

“Forever.”

“Sadly.”

“What was that?”

“Oh nothing baby…”, a devilish grin, “Yes, forever.”

With her dreams done and finished it was time to return to civilization, to leave the cabin life behind. Eren told her that he got this, very courteously, most likely still worried about her mental state.

“Just take it easy,”, he said, kissing the top of her head, “I’ll pack.”

He did as he said, fighting with the baggage to the best of his ability. Mikasa was left to wander around aimlessly, and for whatever reason her steps took her to the big tree sitting there, overlooking a vast plain of grass. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air she leaned on the tree, but then her eyes caught sight of something that almost made her jump out of her skin.

There was a ghost sitting there, a ghost of her, dressed in a simple skirt and shirt, the scarf still around her neck. The apparition was about the same age Mikasa was, maybe a bit younger, but they looked almost the same. Her hair wasn’t short, it was long and pulled into a ponytail and there was no red highlight decorating it. The ghost looked up, her eyes meeting Mikasa’s, and a faint smile crossed her lips.

It was her perfect copy, down to the scar on the cheek - albeit the ghost’s was even more faded than hers, long years washing over it. She must have gotten her cut as a teenager. And there was also something about the eyes – it would be a lie to say that Mikasa had an easy life, but what she saw in the ghost’s eyes was something different altogether. The sitting girl saw hell and more, and it showed in her face.

“You are me.”, Mikasa finally pushed out.

The ghost looked at her curiously, tilting her head to the side.

“You… you can’t speak, can you?”

The ghost shook her head.

“I wonder why….”

The sitting girl shrugged, not understanding this any more than Mikasa did. She was just about to question her further when something else caught her attention. The ghost wasn’t sitting there on her own, there was something next to her – a tombstone with a very familiar name written on it.

Eren Yeager

Mikasa already had a suspicion, but this confirmed it – the sitting girl was the other Mikasa, the one she had dreams about, her past life. Following her eyes the ghost saw what she was looking at, her smile replaced by a look of deep longing. Gently, she caressed the stone, her eyes shining with tears.

“So the dreams were right, huh? You had to kill him.”

The ghost nodded solemnly.

“You saved the world, everyone, but you had to give the love of your life up.”

The apparition didn’t react, eyes trained at the cold tombstone.

“They say that if you love something, you should let it go.”, she told the ghost, “But I can’t do that….”

Looking over her shoulder at the man she loved so much, Mikasa let the words spill freely.

“I guess I’m selfish but I don’t want to lose this love we have, no matter what kind of symbolism it is. I want to wake up next to him every morning and spend ten minutes getting out of his hands because he holds me so tightly when we sleep. I want to see him yawn and wish him good morning and share a cup of coffee. I want him to be there for me when I come back so we can talk about our days and cuddle on the couch together…”

Her hands intertwined on the abdomen, gently stroking the fabric of her shirt.

“I want to have children with him, family, kids that will combine my and his looks and attitude. Is that selfish? Is that too much to ask? Is that…”

Lost in her speech Mikasa stumbled over the words and fell silent, letting out a short laugh after.

“I’m selfish and I don’t care. I’m never letting go simply because I don’t want to and damn everyone who disagrees with me. I deserve this, I deserve to be loved.”

As soon as those words left Mikasa’s lips she realized how insensitive those were towards her other self, the poor girl who, for all her bravery, for the act of saving the world itself – got nothing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”, she apologized to the sitting copy of herself, “I know that you never got to experience any of that with him.”

The ghost’s face fell and she buried her face to the scarf, eyes moving towards the headstone next to her. Seeing the longing written in her features, Mikasa couldn’t help but wonder.

“Did you… did you learn to let him go? Did you come to terms with his death?”

The pain in the girl’s eyes was all the answer Mikasa needed. It resonated within her, the suffering because she could imagine how it would feel. Maybe it was because she experienced it in her past life, maybe it was because of all these strange visions but she could do it and the pain and emptiness were terrible.

“This is not fair,”, she blurted, “You did everything you could, you saved the world and this was your reward? You’ve sacrificed… everything… and….”

She was crying now, Mikasa realized, her tears matching the ghost’s. Falling to her knees next to the girl she tried embracing her only to realize that she can’t touch a figment of her imagination.

“I’m so sorry for how the universe treated you, you deserved more, so, so much more….

More flashes- this time of a child, a faceless husband, grandkids too.

“This, all that… Did it make you happy?”

The ghost girl gave her a small enigmatic smile, and Mikasa realized one thing. It wasn’t for her to know – maybe she was happy with the other family, maybe she wasn’t, that would remain an enigma.

“But still, you kept visiting his grave,”, Mikasa’s eyes moved over to the headstone and the flowers there, “You never let his memory fade.”

A nod from the other girl.

“Still, it wasn’t fair to you. You could have been, no, should have been so much more…”, this time the raven’s eyes moved to where her Eren was, “You deserved to have a happy future with him too.”

“Yet you didn’t, and I did – you got the pain and I have the rewards you fought for. I swear, I will not let it go to waste.”

Standing up, she offered her hand to the ghost.

“Please, come with me, experience all that you bled for, struggled for so much. Let me show you how the love you wanted feels in full bloom.”

But the girl didn’t move, simply looking at her. And that was when Mikasa realized….

“… you don’t have to come with me because you are already here. You are me, I am you, we are the same person.”

It was strange, realizing that this was her- this old, tired soldier, a woman broken by a war Mikasa couldn’t even comprehend. A tragic hero who sacrificed her greatest love for the greater good, being left with nothing but a memory. A girl who was thrust into a cruel world and treated unfairly, no matter how hard she tried to change it, to save those she held dear. Tears in the corners of her eyes, Mikasa clenched her fists.

Not anymore.

Now there was no war, no titans, no apocalypse over their heads. Eren wouldn’t go to commit a global genocide to save his country, only to have it destroyed anyway. She wouldn’t marry another man and have children with him, bring her family to his grave, and plant flowers with pain in her heart. No.

Mikasa wasn’t a soldier anymore – she was an MMA fighter, a professional athlete, a model. Her life wasn’t filled with a constant struggle for survival. It was dreamy- filled with everything she could wish for, whatever it was spending her time with friends, goofing around with Eren, or training her pole dancing. She didn’t care for horses or sharpen her blades.

Eren wasn’t a hopeless maniac, driven to war by the sheer necessity of survival – he was a doctor, a surgeon, helping people in need not killing them.

Most importantly they were together – an engaged couple that loved each other so much that they couldn’t put it into words correctly. No tragedy would befall them.

Keeping her hand outstretched, Mikasa talked to the ghost again.

“We are one, but I am the lucky part of us, of me. I am love, I am the nights and lazy mornings spent in bed, I am all the kisses and hugs. You are my sadness, my sacrifice, my longing and pain, my unfulfilled and tragic fate.”

She stretched her fingers closer to the girl.

“Please, take my hand and experience it all with me, learn that there is beauty in this cruel world.”

Not hesitant anymore, the ghost held her hand towards Mikasa.

When their fingers made contact a chill ran down her spine and she gasped, blinking several times. The girl was gone, so was the grave, only the tree remained and gently swayed in the wind. And in her heart, in her soul, Mikasa felt different – different yet same because now she knew everything and the pain in her heart resonated.

It would always be a part of her, or rather it always was, but Mikasa wasn’t feeling down because of it. Now she knew that she had to feel everything, every touch and happy emotion that she experienced with him because it was what her past died for. If anything the full realization of her suffering made Mikasa appreciate it even more – she was living this life not only now but for the past too.

He was her Eren, she was his Mikasa, and in this world, nothing would tear them apart. And the tears the began to appear in her eyes did nothing to deny that fact.

“Miki? Why are you crying, what’s wrong?”

Refusing to answer Mikasa crossed the distance and hugged him, burying her face into Eren’s chest. Understanding that she didn’t want words now he stroked her back patiently, waiting for her to come back to him.

“Eren, you won’t ever leave me, will you?”

“Never.”

“I mean, I couldn’t do it even if wanted to.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I love you anymore, it’s more like fascination, adoration maybe.”

“…Eren…”

“Hell, I’d do anything to stay with you, you want me to bark for you? Cause I will..”

Despite her sad mood, Mikasa felt the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Stop, come on.”

Ignoring that, he pressed his face into her hair, a quiet bark leaving his lips.

“Woof.”, he nuzzled her gently, “There, I did it.”

She giggled at that and Eren smirked, glad that he made her smile because that was his mission in life – making the beautiful angel he was, for some reason blessed by, happy.

It made her reflect on the whole story, now that she had it whole. Eren kept silent while Mikasa was deep in thought, his fingers gently stroking her hipbone in small soothing circles. In her mind, she recalled as much as she could, brought it together and….

Mikasa took a shuddering breath.

“It makes no god damn sense.”

“What doesn’t?”

“The whole story, It… it doesn’t add up at all. You dying for nothing, me moving on so quickly I… The whole world….”

She was pouting now, that adorable expression that made Eren want to kiss it right off of her face, but he held himself back. Mikasa was talking.

“It had such a nice build-up, but in the end, it collapsed completely. I don’t understand why….”

“Well, that is the thing with dreams.”, he mumbled next to her, “They often don’t make much sense once we wake up.”

“But still..”

“Mikiiiiiiiiii…”, unable to resist her cuteness anymore, he pressed a string of soft kisses all over her face, turning that pout into a breathless giggle, “Stop overthinking dreams so much.”

Grabbing her hand he intertwined their fingers, raising it so the sun slid over their skin. It highlighted the contrast between them, how his tanned shade complimented her pale one, just as perfectly as they completed one another in life.

“This. This is important.”, he said, “This is real. You may be a broken titan slayer in your dreams, but here you are… well, still a titan slayer but one that is happy… I think.”

His voice got even deeper when he directed his question right at her.

“Are you happy with me?”

Mikasa was nodding her head before she even realized what was happening.

“Yes. Gods yes, I couldn’t be happier.”

“See?”, the flash of white teeth revealed his grin, “Then focus on that. Here, in this world, I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll have me.”

“That might be a very long time Yeager, are you sure that you want to do that to yourself?”

“As if I had a choice.”, his fingers danced over her hip, “You bound me to yourself with black magic, remember?”

“Good to see that you remember that. My Dark Knight.”

The kiss Eren gave her was interlaced with a smile, and it was one of the sweetest Mikasa ever got in her life. He was right, after all, her dreams, past self, it was a tragedy that befell her, but it was so jumbled at the end that she had a hard time taking it seriously. The “ending” of her past didn’t make sense, no matter how much she tried to see the point of it. It all looked like such a tragedy, but in the end…. was it maybe a comedy? A twisted image where all the sacrifice and pain they went through amounted to nothing? Where several characters were made to be worthless, and their struggle amounted to nothing? A parody of a terrible conflict that couldn’t be solved by anything else by an annihilation?

But... why dwell on it?

She had this- this life, this Eren, and this happiness that they built together, and she loved every second of it.

And there was nothing else that the past could show her anymore.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“You sure? Didn’t forget anything?”

Mikasa looked at the tree where the conversation with the ghost took place, smiling. Tightening her hold on Eren’s hand, she felt more content than ever before, finally having an explanation and ending for her nightmares. It all made sense, and she would live her life to the fullest with the love of her life – not only for herself but for the other Mikasa too. She deserved to experience it, every second of it. After all, they were one and the same.

“Yes. I have all I need right here with me.”

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Crossed Oceans of Time

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: Y/n always thought her hope was lost till an unexpected call from an old friend has her traveling across time to save the man she thought was once lost in an ocean of time.

Warnings: angst, fluffy fluff, cursing, hopelessness (idk why I make the reader so depressed)

Word Count: 4122

A/N: This is written for @sweeterthanthis Quote Me On It 6k Challenge. The prompt I chose was “I have crossed oceans of time to find you.” -Dracula. This story takes place during the events of End Game. I have incorporated the quote into the story. It will be bolded AND italicized. All mistakes are mine. 

Enjoy!

Everything I had seen had been a blur up to this point. My life flashed by so quick I never had a chance to process it all. Originally born in 1922, I never believed I would be able to see the day when technology would thrive. Here I am in 2023, 101 years later seeing the miracle of technology. 

I am a super soldier. One of the first experiments before Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. I volunteered myself to Dr. Erskine's experimentation, so he could develop a better, more safe serum. 

I fought by Rogers' side in many battles, including the one that would take his best friend. There is something you do not know though, of me and Sergeant Barnes. 

I had fallen for him. Not just a usual school girl crush, no. It was full blown love. Like my body had been struck by lightning the moment I laid eyes on him. 

I could sit and talk for hours about Bucky, and how much he meant to me, but that would be pointless. Bucky was gone and yet I couldn't move on. Something was keeping my heart from finding love again. 

Steve and I fought one last time together to defeat Red Skull. We thought it was the end for us, that we would be with Bucky again, but fate is a cruel mother thing. Oddly enough, the serum in our veins stopped our bodies from dying. It preserved us and helped us stay alive. 

When I woke up, all I remembered was crashing the ship. I had no recollection of anything else after. That's when we found out we were in the year 2012. For 70 years we were on ice. Poor Steve was heartbroken about Peggy, and I couldn't help but wish I was with Bucky. 

Time flew by like it was nothing, and all I felt I did was stand still and watch it go by. Steve and I had parted ways after we got back. I was hired to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. which I didn’t mind till in 2014 it all came crashing down. Almost quite literally. S.H.I.E.L.D. had HYDRA growing right under its nose. I was again left alone with nothing but a shattered heart.

Nick Fury tried to help me get back onto my feet but I wanted nothing to do with him, or anyone anymore. I was too heartbroken to even think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I really just wanted my Bucky back. That’s all I could ever ask of the world. 

Five years ago, something happened. I felt like my life had fallen apart again. All the friends I had attempted to make, all disappeared. I wasn’t the only one who lost people they loved and cared for. I finally felt maybe other people out there were feeling the same way I did.

Here in 2023, I have been without the love of my life for almost 80 years. I kept asking why I got to live while he was taken from the world so soon. I never got the answer to that rhetorical question, asked to no one in particular. That was till I got a peculiar call from an unknown number. I answered it hoping it would be the reaper I hoped to be greeted by to take me to the love of my life.

“Y/n?” It was a voice I hadn’t heard in almost a decade. One I thought I’d probably never hear again either.

“Steve.” I sounded cheery for once since I had been out of the ice.

“Hey. How are you doing? I know it’s been years since we talked, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go for a drive? Just you and me.” He asked, and I could tell he was smiling some on the other end.

“That sounds lovely, Steve. I’ve been hanging in there. Since S.H.I.E.L.D. and the whole HYDRA thing, I’ve just been laying low.”

“Where are you living now?” Steve queried.

“I’m living in Brooklyn actually. In my old neighborhood. 

“You used to live in Brooklyn before the war?”

“Yep. I actually lived above the antique shop. You know the one.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know we lived so close, yet we never met you till Erskine introduced us.”

“Yeah. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel the way I do now…” I sounded melancholy.

“I’m not too far from where you are. Meet where the antique shop used to be. We can talk more then, I have something I think you would love to hear.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you there.” I said, and hung up quickly. I knew there was nothing he could have told me that would make me jump for joy. He couldn’t say anything that would make my smile come back. It was gone, and faded with time.

I met him where that antique shop used to be, and I could almost picture it all. The cobblestone streets, the kids playing baseball, the world used to be a different place back then. It’s not like it was anymore, and I wish that it kind of was. 

“Hey.” Steve smiled, walking up to me.

“Hi.” I gave a small smile, but he could tell I had sadness written all over my face.

“What’s wrong?” Concern spread across his face.

“Nothing. This is just how I smile now.”

“Whoever took away your beautiful, contagious smile is going to pay.”

“Time took my smile away.”

“”Come on. I want to talk to you about something.” His smile grew wider as he led me to his car. 

He opened the door for me, and I climbed in. I buckled up as he climbed into the driver’s seat. We headed out of the city, down the countryside. The scenery was beautiful, but I still couldn’t bring myself to start a conversation.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. I have been for 11 years. What’s 40 more gonna do right?” I gave an extremely sad smile.

“Is this about Bucky?”

“There were so many times in my life where we could have met. Maybe just a year longer with him, and I would be able to move on, or maybe not. I was in love with him, Steve. The way I felt the night we first met, it was like everything in my life finally made sense. I felt like I had a purpose.”

“He’s actually the reason I wanted to talk to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was alive. I need your help getting him back.”

“What do you mean? That’s impossible. We both watched him die.”

“Remember when all those men were captured from the 107th, including Bucky, back in ‘43?”

“Yeah, and we went to rescue them.”

“Bucky was experimented on by Armin Zola. Turned into a super soldier himself.”

“Okay and?”

“Whatever Zola did to him, it helped him survive the fall.”

“So what I’m understanding is, you knew he was alive this entire time, and you’re just now telling me about it?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I need your help getting him back now.”

“Okay. You keep saying that, but if he is alive, why would we need to get him back?”

“Remember 5 years ago when half the earth’s population just vanished?”

“Yeah?”

“Bucky was part of that half.”

“And you think we can get him back?”

“I think we can bring back all the life lost 5 years ago. It requires us going back in time though.”

“Time travel? You’re promising time travel in a time where we thought flying cars were going to be a thing.”

“It’s possible though. We’ve tested it, and everything is up and working. We have all the dates in order, we just need the man power.”

“Alright, if it means bringing Bucky back, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you.”

Steve drove us to a huge building practically in the middle of nowhere. There I was greeted by a group of people, one of which I recognized from a brief meeting years ago. The others I didn’t know. I mean one man looked oddly familiar, but I could quite put my finger on where I had seen him before.

“Everyone, this is Y/n. She is an old friend of mine.” Steve introduced me.

“I may be old, but I sure don’t feel like it.”

“Join the club.” Steve chuckled.

“I’m Natasha. We met briefly in D.C. a few years back.” The woman I had recognized approached.

“Yes, I remember you. It’s nice to officially meet you on slightly good terms. While not being utterly terrified by a man with a metal arm.” I smiled slightly, trying to imagine how it would feel to see Bucky once more.

“So how do you two know each other?” The man that I swore looked familiar, spoke up.

“Steve and I fought together during the war.”

“Does that mean she also knew Barnes?” The man questioned.

“Yes. She did. In fact they were together for two years before HYDRA took him.”

“How does he know about Bucky?” I asked, growing concerned.

“It’s a long story.”

“I’m Tony Stark by the way.” The man spoke up, and everything was now coming together.

“I knew you looked familiar to me somehow. You look just like your father.”

“Yeah, well, join the club with everyone who says that.” Tony sounded irritated.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Y/n, it’s alright.” Steve spoke up before Tony could say anything.

He could probably tell I was freaking out. My goal was to help, not make things worse. I could tell by just opening my mouth, I was doing just that. Steve started to rub my back to calm me down.

“Is everything okay?” Natasha asked.

“She’s been through a lot. She didn’t even know Bucky was alive until a couple hours ago.” Steve replied.

“For so long I wished that something would happen so I could be back in his arms again. Now, I have a chance to see him again, and not in the afterlife. He is the man of my dreams, the love of my life. I have never felt this way about anyone before, and the fact that I have tried to move on, but couldn't just shows that I truly did love him.”

“Does she know about him?” Tony asked.

“Not about that. She doesn’t need to know.” Steve stated sternly.

“Know about what? Steve? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Stark, I agree with Steve. If she knew about him, her opinion of him may change.” Natasha interjected.

“She deserves to know the man she loved then will not be the man she is getting back.”

“What are you all going on about?”

“Barnes was the man with the metal arm you spoke of.” Tony blurted out.

“You’re wrong. Bucky would never hurt anyone. He was someone who put others before himself. He would never kill anyone.”

Steve just gave an angry look to Tony. I didn’t know who to believe. Natasha just gave me an apologetic look. I couldn’t read anyone, they all seemed to look angry or apologetic, and I didn;t know who to believe.

“Maybe the Barnes you knew wouldn’t, but over 70+ years, people change.” Tony stated before walking inside.

“Steve? Was Bucky really the man with the metal arm? If he was, I want to know. It won’t change how I feel. I just need to know, so I can help him when he comes back.”

“Yes. He was what the world knew as the Winter Soldier. He isn;t like that anymore. I promise, but he is broken and traumatized from what HYDRA did to him.”

“Understandable. Now let’s go get him and everyone else back.” I smiled, and walked inside. I didn’t have to fake one anymore. I was just happy that I finally had the chance to see Bucky again. That maybe seeing each other again could mend our souls a little bit.

Steve led me to a room where he told me to suit up. I threw on the suit laid out for me, and met the others on the main level. Steve handed me two little vials which he told me would help take me where I needed to be. He told me I was to stay with him to make sure nothing happened to me. I was perfectly okay with that.

We were all ready to find these stones. Steve showed me a picture of the stones him, Tony, Scott, and I were to be getting. I just wanted to get this over with, to be with Bucky once more. I have waited a long time for this moment, and I just couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Everyone ready?” Bruce asked.

“See you guys in a minute.” Natasha smiled.

We all shrunk down, and our groups went separate ways. I made sure to not lose sight of Steve as we landed in our desired time. We all started walking the tattered streets of New York City, and I knew where we had landed.

“Banner, you find the time stone, Stark and Lang, you two get the tesseract. I’ll get the scepter.” Steve directed.

“What about me?” I asked, curious what my task would be.

“You are staying right here. We’ll all meet right back here once we have secured our items.”

“Why am I here then if you don’t need me?”

“In case things go south.”

I roll my eyes, “fine. I’ll stay here.”

“Thank you.”

They all walk off, and I stay put where they told me to. I listen to them talking on comms to each other. They were pretty entertaining if I was being honest. That was until they started saying they lost the tesseract. Things looked hopeless now.

“What are we gonna do now? The tesseract is gone, and we don’t have any more of the capsules.” Scott paced.

“I have an extra capsule that will get me where I want to be. Please let me do this Steve?”

“Fine. I think I have an idea where you might be going. Just be careful okay?” He hands me something, “put it in here when you grab it.”

“I will. I promise I’ll be careful. I’ll see you guys when I have aquired the tesseract.” I smile.

I plug in the time and date that I wanted, and shrunk down traveling back to January 1945. The day Steve and I put the plane in the water. I remember seeing Red Skull holding it that day, right before he disappeared actually. Maybe that’s what Steve meant by ‘be careful’.

I headed straight to the hanger, and climbed inside. I hid until I knew it was safe to come out. Which meant waiting till Red Skull took off. I waited for Steve, and I to start fighting Red Skull. I came out and prepared to grab the tesseract. I had the special case Steve handed me before I left.

When Red Skull disappeared, and Steve and I went to man the ship, I grabbed the tesseract. I plugged in the date to head back, and shrunk down again, heading back to the correct timeline. I arrived as everyone else returned as well. I looked around to make sure everyone was there, but one person was missing.

“Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked, looking at Clint.

“Barton, where is she?” Tony asked, being more stern.

“She’s gone...it should have been me.” He sounded so sad. I felt for him. I knew how it felt to lose someone I cared so much about.

They all gathered by the water mourning Natasha’s sacrifice. I let them have their moment. It wasn’t my place to be with them while they grieved. It just didn’t seem right, or fair to them. I sat in the lab waiting for them to come back, and assemble the gauntlet.

Steve walked in and sat next to me, “how did it go?”

“It went well. It was weird seeing Red Skull and you, and me. I think I managed well though. Why did you give me an extra capsule?”

“I figured you would go and help us, then I’d let you go and be with Bucky. Get the time you lost back.”

“That makes no sense if I lose him in the end anyways.”

“Maybe part of me hoped you would change his fate. That way you never lost him. You would never have to know what it was like to lose him.”

“That’s really sweet of you Steve, but I don’t think that would be right. For me or him.”

“I understand. I just want you to know that your pain hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

“I’m glad it hasn’t, but I really wish you knew how much I needed you too. I didn’t just miss Bucky, you were my friend too.”

“I know, but you haven’t been the same since you thought he died. You have been more closed off, you don’t smile, or laugh like you used to. I just want you to be happy again. I want to see that beautiful smile, and hear your contagious laugh once more.”

“You will again one day. Right now though, you need to help the others make this gauntlet.” I gave a half smile before moving out of the way so the others could do their job.

I sat outside with my eyes closed. Just waiting for someone to walk up to me and make sure I was okay. The light from the sun was dimmed like a shadow moved in front of me. I smiled before opening my eyes, thinking that Steve, or maybe Bucky, was standing in front of me. When I looked, I saw something that looked like a meteor heading right for the building.

I tried to run inside, but it was too late. The ball, or cannon, or whatever had already hit the building. I wiggle my way out from under the debris, but I could tell I had a pretty severe wound on my abdomen. I tried to call out to someone, but I got no response. I hoped that everyone was alright. 

I finally was able to stand up, and walked outside. There I saw Thor standing, and watching someone. I walked over to him, putting pressure on my side to make sure I stopped the bleeding. That’s when I saw Steve walking up to him too.

“What’s he doing?” Steve asked, looking where Thor was looking.

“He’s just sitting there.” Thor responded. “He doesn’t have the gauntlet right?”

“Not that I can see.”

“Let’s keep it that way.” Steve said, walking over to me.

“Who is that guy?” I asked, looking confused.

“That’s Thanos. He’s the reason half the earth’s population disappeared 5 years ago.”

“Did he figure out what we were planning?”

“It’s not the same Thanos. The one from our time, Thor killed him.” Steve said, walking over to him.

“I used to think that destroying half the planet's life would be good enough, but the other half that stuck around seems to be ungrateful. Looks like I may have to destroy this world, and create a new one, one that will be grateful for the world I have provided.”

That’s when Thor charged at Thanos, and the fight began. Tried to fight as much as I could, but I was losing more and more blood every second. I ran at him, thinking he was going to hurt Steve, but he stopped me and threw me against some rubble. I attempted to get up, but the pain was too much to fight anymore.

I watched as Steve prepared to fight by himself. I wish I had the strength to stand up and fight next to him. I just couldn’t bear the pain anymore. That’s when I heard a voice over comms that sounded kind of familiar. 

“Cap, can you read me. On your left.” The voice said, and these vortex-like things opened up, and out walked three people.

Steve turned to me, and saw that I was on the ground. He reached his hand out to me, and I took it, standing up. He smiled at me, and prepared to fight. That’s when armies of people walked through these vortexes. I stayed close to Steve, finding comfort in the one person I knew fairly well. 

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’ll be okay. I just want this douchebag dead. He took Bucky away, and now he wants to destroy the entirety of planet earth. He deserves what’s coming to him.” 

Steve smiled, “you really haven’t changed a bit. More depressed than what I remember, but your attitude is still the same.” He chuckled lightly.

I giggled, and prepared to fight to the end. I didn’t care if I died, I just wanted Steve and Bucky to live. Steve stood at the front of the army he was leading, perhaps into our last battle. I was ready to do anything. I had found my hidden strength to keep fighting till I physically couldn’t keep fighting anymore. That was quicker to come than I thought. I knew I was losing a lot of blood, but I didn’t know how quickly. Turns out when Thanos threw makeup against the rubble, I created an even bigger wound. 

Only a few minutes into the now fair fight, I started to get really dizzy. I tried to grab a hold of someone before I fell, but there was no one around me. I hit the ground and I was out for the count.

~*~

I don’t know how long I had been out for, or if I was still even alive. To my surprise, and Steve’s happiness, I was.

“Hey there sweetheart.” Steve smiled, gripping my hand tightly.

“Did we win?” Of course that would be my first question. It was the first question I asked when we came out of the ice.

He chuckled, but his look turned sad, “we won, but we lost at the same time.”

“What do you mean? Did he snap them away again?” My heart was pounding in my chest. The fear painted across my face.

“No. Everyone who disappeared is back, but Tony...he snapped Thanos and his army away, but he didn’t make it.” Steve gave me an extremely sad look.

I squeezed his hand, not even paying attention to the fact someone had just walked into the room. I didn’t even notice the person till Steve looked over to them, and got up. I couldn’t quite tell who it was because where they were standing was kind of dark. That and my eyes were fully adjusted yet, but I could tell they were tall and well built, they also had semi-long hair.

“Go on. She’s been waiting.” Steve spoke up, seeing me stare at them.

The person came closer, and I was met with their mesmerizing blue eyes. I smiled at them as they came over to sit down. He seemed closed off, or just really shy. I couldn’t quite get a read on him for whatever reason. 

“Hey.” He gave a very small smile, almost shy.

“Hey.” I smile more. 

“I’ve missed that smile.” Steve spoke up.

I giggled, “well it’s thanks to you that I feel like I can be happy again.”

The man sitting next to me just looked down. I put my hand out for him to take. He grabbed it very gently. It was colder than I thought it would be. I looked down, and saw a metal hand. He tried to pull away, but I gripped his hand tight.

“You’re not scared?” He asked.

“Because I have crossed oceans of time to find you.” I smile wide, bringing his hand to my lips, kissing it gently.

Steve smiled, “you knew it was him the whole time didn’t you?”

“Of course. Those eyes are unforgettable, and his voice is unmistakable.” I felt the hand around mine tighten, and his smile got bigger.

“I’ve missed you doll. I’ve missed you so much.” Bucky spoke.

“I missed you too. I never thought that I would ever see you again.”

We stared lovingly at each other for a while. Enjoying just taking in the fact that he was back into my life. That I had him back. That the best thing that ever happened to me was back. It was the best feeling in the world, one that I thought I would never be able to feel again. I finally felt like my heart had been put back together, and Bucky held the mold in his hands.

[jar-of-omegaverse]

Hello! It’s currently 4:50am here- I wasn’t staying up late, I had a really bad night terror and I woke myself up... I-I was wondering how the dynamics react to night terrors and getting comforted- I-I um...just some fluff, hardcore fluff, basically, p-please...

Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that, darling! Enjoy some softness.

Omegas

Omegas are usually the first to wake up when a pack member is distressed because they are so in tune with their pack’s emotions.

They will gently stroke their pack member’s hair, releasing a calm scent and murmuring to them that they are safe in the hopes to slowly wake their pack member.

When their pack member wakes up, the omega rocks them as they cry and doesn’t stop until they are calmer.

“Sh, you're safe, dear. It’s okay, I’m here.”

The omega noses at their pack mate’s neck, trying to wash away the pain scent and replace it with their comfort.

“That’s it, let me take care of you. I know you're scared, but you’re being so brave.”

If the pack member isn’t already in the pack nest, the omega will bring them there and give them an article of the pack leader or pack mom’s clothing to rest their head on.

“See, darling? The pack will protect you, no need to fear.”

They wrap themselves around their hurting pack member and rub their back, slow and calm.

The omega’s soothing purrs start and it instantly relaxes the pack member, causing them to snuggle closer to the omega and drift off to sleep.

The omega falls asleep as well, nuzzling their pack member, and pleased their own instincts are satiated.

Alphas

An Alpha will wake up their pack member faster.

They may shake them gently or call out their name.

When their terrified pack member wakes up, they quickly ask what’s wrong, and are relieved that there is no physical threat or pain.

“I would like to give you a hug, sweetheart. Can I hug you?”

Usually, the answer is yes, and the alpha pulls their pack member into their arms and nuzzles them hard and firm to remind them an alpha is there to protect them.

“No one can hurt you or the pack. Everyone’s safe. We’re all safe. You’re okay, no need to cry, sweetie.”

The Alpha presses a kiss to their forehead, rumbling deep to provide comfort and protection.

The Alpha settles into their pack mate’s sleeping space with them, making sure to keep the pack member in their arms.

“How about I read you a book until you fall asleep, honey?”

The Alpha opens one of the books sitting near the sleeping space and starts reading, running a steady hand over their pack member’s back or their scent glands as they do.

Their pack member’s nose is usually near the alpha’s neck if not shoved against it, and the alpha projects their safe scent so the pack member doesn’t strain themselves.

The Alpha’s voice is quiet and slow, cocooning their pack member back into a peaceful sleep.

Betas

The beta wakes up to their pack mate’s soft cries.

They instantly go to them and are heartbroken to see their pack mate sobbing into their pillow.

They sit next to them and frown because they hate to see their packmate in any sort of pain.

“Oh no. Poor dear, it’s alright. Take a deep breath.”

They help their pack mate sit up and keep a steady arm around their shoulders.

“Would you like to talk about it? No? That’s alright, sweetie, we don’t have to talk about it. How about we go watch a movie?”

Their pack member agrees, still sniffling but comforted slightly by the Beta’s solid presence.

The Beta settles their upset pack member into the nest or couch in the living room and drapes them in blankets that smell like pack and home.

The Beta makes the pair hot chocolate, whispering their Pack mother doesn’t need to know and sending a wink to their pack mate, causing the pack mate to smile.

The pack member leans heavily on the Beta as they watch the movie, and goes boneless when the Beta starts gently massaging their neck.

“No need to be stressed or scared, sweetie. It was just a dream. We’re just watching a movie, we’re okay.”

Their pack member nods and shifts until they are laying down, head on the beta’s thigh as they watch the movie tiredly and on the verge of sleep.

The beta pets their hair and releases a relaxing scent.

They both fall asleep at some point and wake up the next morning to the entire pack cuddling with them and holding them tight.

[quickspinner]

The Truth Hurts

(I’m sorry I know that title is super unoriginal but it fits so well)

Spoilers for S4E1 Truth

Also not especially a fix it fic, more of an aftermath fic, so prepare for pain. 

I’m late but this is for the LBSC Sprint Challenge prompt  2. “So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me because I, too, am fluent in silence.” I actually only spent two sprints on this and then I thought I was done enough, but I did add quite a bit more trying to bring it to a satisfactory close. I think I still fit pretty closely to the time restraints plus editing though. Except I’m already a day late so the editing was not very heavy on this one. Hopefully I didn’t miss too many errors or word repetitions. 

Luka pain (sorry) and Couffaine sibling solidarity. Special apologies to @airi-p4 because I didn’t fix anything, I just made it worse.  😅

Warnings for Dad Pain and abandonment issues. 

He woke up numb. Which wasn’t a bad option, all things considered. 

Then he rolled over. And there was the face. Staring from his wall, like it had been for, what...seven years? 

The face of his father.

He wasn’t so numb anymore. Luka shoved the covers off of himself and sat up, staring at that face. 

For a few minutes last night, heartbroken and sick at everything that had happened, Luka had known what it was like to have a father. One who cared. Jagged had hugged him. Ankara’s hugs were tight and hard, but she still had a woman’s body, soft and curved, a little plump with age and childbearing. All Luka could think of as his father embraced him was how bony he was. The metal clink of Jagged’s jewelry was nothing like the quiet click of Anarka’s beaded bracelets, and his arms were thin, his body broad-shouldered but thin, without any of Anarka’s cushioning. Luka had never really spent time imagining what a father’s hug felt like, but it was different from a mother’s, and that was good enough for him at the moment.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t needed a hug just then. Badly, in fact. 

It all felt like such a dream; something from a movie plot. His father, his idol, suddenly one person, and promising to write a song with Luka, it...it was overwhelming. It was like every little-boy daydream come true. 

But it wasn’t a dream, and Luka wasn’t a little boy anymore. So he wasn’t al that surprised when Jagged left.

Because he had a party to go to. 

Because he’d left his family long ago for a rich and famous rock star life, and he had never once looked back. 

I know how to turn feelings into an awesome song . 

Luka lunged up out of bed, turning over the pile of stuff at the end of his bed until he found his laptop. With it in hand, he turned and reached to snatch the earbuds off his nightstand amp, and then paused with them tangled in his fist, thinking. 

“Luka?” Juleka mumbled, sitting up in her bed. 

Luka ignored her. As much as he loved her, he couldn’t take care of her right now. He couldn’t. He threw his earbuds down on his bed and went upstairs instead, jaw set, shoving crap out of his way carelessly until he unearthed the wiring for the sound system. 

He hooked up his laptop with shaking hands and blurring vision. He could barely breathe as he queued up his entire Jagged Stone collection, chronologically, from memory, because he was officially Jagged Stone’s number one fan and it wasn’t even hard. 

Luka cranked up the sound system, and pressed play. Jagged Stone’s very first album blared from the speakers above him. Luka skipped the first song hurriedly. He wasn’t ready to face that memory just yet.

“What in the seven seas—” he heard behind him, and he turned, fixing his eyes on his mother. He wasn’t even sure what kind of face he was making, but she stopped in her tracks.

She knew, all this time . She knew that these songs were about her, were about them . 

You are the donut of my life, Jagged’s voice howled from the speakers. The donut. Sweet, but heavy. Bad for you. Not something you ate every day. Not something that nourished you or made you better. 

God, how it must have hurt Anarka all these years, hearing those songs over and over and knowing.

It was hurting her now, he could see. 

Luka could have stayed below. He could have used the earbuds. He could have spared her. He could have suffered privately.

He wasn’t sorry he hadn’t. Not this time. 

Anarka sighed through her nose, and then turned and walked away, fists clenched. 

He’d feel bad about it later. It wasn’t like he didn’t have enough to be sorry for after yesterday. Might as well lump it all in together. Luka turned back to his computer, and pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around them and setting his chin on his knees as he closed his eyes to listen to the blaring music. To the truth .

Even thinking the word twisted his stomach and made him feel sick. But that’s what this was, wasn’t it. The truth about his father’s feelings. Luka almost wanted to laugh. It explained so much, now. The sentimentality of Jagged’s early work. And here, around his third album, here was where he moved on . Where he got over them. 

I abandoned everything, but not my dreams .

Here was where he began to take on the persona of the true rock ‘n roll artist. Where he convinced himself it was all for the best because now he could make pure art, now that no one—now that Anarka and Luka nad Juleka weren’t holding him back .

My guitar is my only family.

Goddamnit, Luka loved that song. He buried his face in his knees and gripped his hair with both fists. 

He felt hands on his back. Two hands, flat against him, rubbing slightly. Soothing. His mind flew, irrationally, to Marinette, but when he raised his face enough to look over his shoulder, it was Juleka sitting there behind him, her hands resting on his back, her shoulders curled inward as she peered at him through her hair. Of course. Because Marinette had no reason to be here anymore, and he’d chased his mother out. Of course it was Juleka, who had never wanted to know the truth, who had preferred not knowing to being disappointed.

Luka was starting to see her point. 

And now he had forced this, all this on her. The truth she had never wanted to hear screaming out in stereo sound. 

God, he was such an ass. He might be angry at his mother but none of this was Jules’ fault. 

Juleka moved her hands hesitantly to his shoulders, and leaned against his back, resting her cheek against him. Luka lifted one hand to cover hers, and put his head down on his knees again, pulled a little bit out of his own selfish pain by her presence. He appreciated her silent forgiveness. 

Soon he would have to get up. The world wasn’t going to stop for his shattered heart, and Luka would have to get up, and put on his brave face, and deal with things like Luka Couffaine did. Honestly, head on, by telling the truth as he saw it. He owed it to Juleka to help her work through it too, since he was the one that forced the knowledge on her. Silently he vowed not to let her be overlooked. Jagged owed it to her to at least look at her and acknowledge her. If she didn’t want anything to do with him after that, then that was her choice. 

Juleka’s head nudged his back, and he sighed. She moved her hands again, this time putting her thin arms around him and hugging him tight. Luka took another long breath, and leaned back into her a bit, as Jagged’s Most Rockin’ Hits Vol 1 began to play.

Under the moon, deep within the woods...

Luka closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “I broke up with Marinette,” he said quietly. “Or maybe...we broke up with each other. I don’t know.” He sighed shakily. “I guess we just...weren’t meant to be. Right now.” He swallowed again against the lump in his throat. “It’s probably for the best. I’ve...got a lot to deal with right now anyway.” 

Juleka had tensed when he said it, with surprise, he thought. But she listened, and hummed a wordless acknowledgement, and hugged him tighter. 

If his tears dripped on her arms, she didn’t complain. The back of his shirt was feeling a bit damp, anyway. 

The truth hurt. He’d always known that, but he also believed in the healing it brought. Better to face the pain head on, where you know it’s coming, than let it fester and burst on you when you weren’t prepared for it. Luka had enough experience with denial to know that running away only left your back bared to the knife. 

Juleka’s face pressed a little harder between his shoulder blades. 

Luka sighed, and reached out to turn the music off. He turned towards Juleka so that she leaned against his side, and he put his arm around her, and they leaned on each other in the suddenly deafening silence. 

[kaitycole]

a future with(out) you

Summary: Where do you fit in Oikawa’s life after he says his future is just full of volleyball?

Warnings: Angst to fluff

Pairing: Oikawa x Reader

Word Count: 1851

A/N: Thanks for the request, @burntpeachie​. I hope you enjoy it.

It has been seven years since you started dating Oikawa. Your relationship began the second year of high school, it survived the five years post-graduation that included your four years of college and first year of working while he had spent those five years in Argentina living out his dream. Which was why something didn’t feel right after watching his latest TV interview.

“Oikawa-san, what does the future have in store for you now that you are heading back to Japan?”

He smiled his bright smile, the one that made men and women alike swoon. “More volleyball.”

Volleyball.

Volleyball.

Volleyball.

If you never heard about that sport again, it would be too soon. Volleyball had consumed your life since the day you met Oikawa and while you love him, while you want to support his dreams, his ambitions, you just thought that he might make more time for you. Maybe if you could somehow turn into a ball made of leather consisting of eighteen rectangle panels, you might get some attention.

The door opens and you smile just a little when you see Oikawa walk in. He had gone out with Hanamaki, Matsukawa, and Iwaizumi since he finally had some free time after having moved back home. He has settled into your apartment effortlessly which just felt right, but your stomach is still in knots after thinking about that interview all day.

“Hi.” You don’t want to be upset, you know he said what he did for a reason, but it still hurt. You have chiseled away a place in your life for him, kept it free from anything else, but it doesn’t feel like he had done the same for you, leaving you to wonder if he ever had or if the place he made for you had gotten filled with something else.

“Hey sweetheart.” He kisses your forehead, sitting next to you. “I’m still not used to this, to knowing that there’s no flight to catch in less than 53 hours and that me being here in permanent.” He rests his head on your shoulder, lazily tracing the lines on your palm with his fingers.

“Speaking of, do you want me to help unpack some of your boxes? I really don’t mind.” You run your fingers through his hair, smiling when you feel him nuzzle his face against your shoulder.

“No, don’t worry about them. It’s fine.”

You bite your lip, once against his simple words shouldn’t bother you as much as they do. Your relationship weathered the storm of long distance, surely it could withstand anything, right? But again, your stomach knots up, doubt sinking in that maybe he doesn’t plan on staying here long. That maybe with his higher level of fame, a larger number of fans, that maybe he didn’t want to fully unpack because he was planning on leaving you. Why else would he need to keep boxes left packed and sealed if he actually planned on having a life with you here?

*                      * A few weeks have passed since Oikawa moved back to Japan and to say his behavior has been strange would be an understatement. He seems to have gotten jumpy, constantly logging his phone screen, flipping his phone over and even walking into a different room to take certain phone calls. You hate it, you never thought he would cheat on you, but you at least hoped he would be more creative about it.

Today is particular you’re just completely fed up. He woke you up way earlier than you wanted when his phone went off and he literally flew out of bed and into the living room to take it, you kicked on of his still packed boxes and he seems to be in a whole different world. By the time you get home from work, you’re done, done with today, done with his behavior, you just can’t take it anymore.

“Hey, Y/N!”

“Oh, so you do know my name?”

Oikawa stops midway off the couch, half standing, half sitting. “Huh?”

“The last few weeks you’ve been a blur and even when you are here, you are mentally somewhere else or checking your phone.” You roll your eyes as you walk through the living room, dropping your bags on the countertop in the kitchen.

“I don’t follow.” “Do you even want to be here? To be with me?” You cross your arms, face twisted in irritation.

He stands up, walking over to you, “Of course. What kind of question is that?”

“More volleyball. That’s what you said.”

Oikawa is entirely too confused at this moment, trying to figure out when he said that and why you were repeating it.

You watch as he tries to come up with a reply, trying to formulate a response, but you just want to be far away from him. You’ve let this irritation, this anger fester and now it was demanding to come out.

“In your last interview, you said your future held ‘more volleyball.’” You use air quotes, “I guess I just thought I had a plan in there somewhere, but was wrong.”

You watch as his shoulders drop and his expression switches from confused to somewhat heartbroken. He tries to grab out to you, but you slip pass him, grabbing your purse and going back to the door.

“I need some space.”

Oikawa stands there, words jumbled up in his throat as you slam the door shut. He thinks back to the interview and still struggled with why what he said was so upsetting to you.

“What Shittykawa?”

“So rude, Iwa-chan. Is that really how you answer the phone?” Oikawa balances the phone on his shoulder as he starts going through one of the packed boxes.

“Just when you call.” He rolls his eyes when he hears Iwa chuckle. “What do you need?” “Y/N just left, pretty upset. Apparently, my last interview upset them.”

“Well duh. You basically said that your future only held volleyball, you didn’t even mention Y/N.”

Oikawa stops rummaging through the box and is shocked. He never thought of it like that, but in his defense, he was trying to protect you too. High school was rough with the groups of fans he attracted, he didn’t want to think how bad it could get to publicly mention you.

“I didn’t think of it like that.” “Cause you’re a dumbass.” Oikawa rolls his eyes, internally cheering as he finally finds what he’s been looking for. “Wait, you watched my interview? Aw Iwa-chan, you love me.”

“It was the only thing on.” “Why were you up so early?” “Bye Oikawa. Fix things with Y/N or I’ll hit you.”

*                      * An hour passes before you finally return to the apartment. When you left, you told yourself you’d call some friends, meet up and stay out late, but they were all busy and you ended up just walking around. You found your way into a small shop, the kind that have a little bit of everything before accepting defeat and heading home. It’s quiet when you open the door and dark, maybe Oikawa had left too. That thought hurt you because you didn’t mean it when you said you wanted space, you wanted the opposite, you wanted the Tooru that clung to you, the one who invaded your personal space more than he didn’t.

You’re really surprised when you see candle lit, did you even own candles? You walk down through the living room, kitchen and partially down the hall before you hear the apartment door open, Oikawa coming back in.

“Y/N! You’re home, thank goodness.” He lets out a sigh of relief, “come here.”

Hesitantly you walk back into the living room, sitting next to Oikawa.

“I’m sorry.” He grabs your hands, “I didn’t think carefully enough when I did that interview.” “It’s fine, Tooru.” You watch his eyes light up when you use his given name.

“It’s not, because I’ve not been doing a good enough telling you things.” He takes a deep breath, “I guess I’ve always saw you in my future so I didn’t think it was important to say it. But leaving you to assuming those things aren’t fair to you.”

“Really? You see me in your future?” You bite your lip, tears pooling in your eyes.

“I can’t see one without you, at least not a good one.” He places a hand on your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheek, gently wiping away the tear that slips down it. “I’m sorry I don’t say it enough, but I promise to get better.”

You want to enjoy the moment, to let the love you feel wash over you, but you just can’t drop his recent and borderline shady behavior. “If you want to be together, why have you been acting all weird?”

His face drops and you fear that maybe you caught him in a lie. He fiddles with something in his pocket, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“I was hoping to do this another time, but oh well.” He pulls out a small red box, handing it to you.

“I love you and I clearly don’t say it enough, but a life without you isn’t something that I want. Volleyball is important to me and without your support I don’t know what I’d do, but you, Y/N, you are more important to me. If I could redo the interview, I’d say that my future has more of you in it because I don’t have to worry about leaving the country anymore or scheduling phone calls at the most bizarre hours. I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this is, will you marry me?”

“Just one question before I answer, okay?”

“Of course, ask anything.”

“Why have you been hiding your phone?” You fidget with the box in your hand, the velvet material brushes against your fingertips.

“You just love ruining all the surprises, eh?” He laughs, “I’ve been talking to my sister’s friend. She’s a realtor and has been helping me look for a bigger apartment. I know you’ve been here for a while and I wasn’t going to rent anything without talking to you first, but I thought a bigger place might be nice. A place that’s ours especially for this chapter in our life. If you say yes, of course.”

You feel like an idiot, upset with yourself for doubting your relationship, doubting your boyfriend. Tears trickle down your cheeks, Oikawa quickly wiping them away, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m sorry.” “Don’t be.” He kisses your lips softly, “I was acting super strange, I’d probably feel the same way if roles were reversed.”

“Of course I’ll marry you.” You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him close to you.

When you pull back, he takes the box, slipping the ring on your finger. He brings your hand to his lips, kissing your ring finger over and over until you start laughing. You smile brightly when his eyes meet yours before he rests his head on your chest.

“Tooru?” “Mmm?”

“I love you.” “I love you too.”

[katfox]

Oh, Baby!

Glimpse: Jumin and his wife get to celebrate this sweet Valentines holiday with the person they love more than anything in the entire world. The end brings along a little surprise that will change their lives forever, in the best way possible.   

1400+ words

Valentine gift post for @juminsmysticmc c:

It started happening mid-January where you started feeling less energetic. This wasn't a huge cause for concern as you’d normally stay up late to help Jumin with work. He loved you for staying awake to calm him through the night, although he knew how stressful it was. This was a stressful time for anyone honestly, from people high up on the corporate ladder to those buying products in the shops. Valentines day is very touchy holiday that either left you feeling loved or feeling heartbroken. 

As the days and weeks fly by the fatigue passes by with extra sleep but you seem to start feeling under the weather, maybe the flu? What a bad time to be sick.. Once home and seeing your current condition Jumin offers to call a doctor for a night visit but you gently brush the idea. “Don't be silly darling a cold wont harm me.” For the sake of relaxing you he gives in and offers the idea that you go to the doctor if you're not feeling well after a few days, to which you agree willingly. 

He kisses your forehead before leaving the room to run you a warm bubble bath. Lucky for you he brought home a new luxury bath set that he was gifted from another company. He treated you like the queen you are, waiting on you hand and foot in hopes that he would make you feel better.

As the days progress you start to feel a bit better if it wasn't for the feeling of being nauseated. You felt love you couldn't eat because you weren't able to keep anything down. Although you couldn't help it you'd always apologize to the chefs, as it seemed kind of like a slap in the face to their cooking. This was the last straw. You needed to go see what was wrong, there was no way that you'd pass on whatever sickness this was to your hardworking husband.

With one phone call, Jumin sends a car to take you to your doctor. He wishes to be there with you but had so many meetings scheduled. You appreciate the thought of him wanting to come but you assure him that you'll be fine to go alone, with the guards of course. The ride was quick but the nauseous feeling only grew with the motions. This was really getting under your skin, you've never felt this way before.

Getting to the doctor was nerve wracking, you didn't know whether you were just sick or dying. It was getting hard to tell. The doctor calls you in for a few questions; she does a physical exam to see if there's anything she can feel. She asks a few intimate questions to start narrowing down what your sickness could be. With the answers you gave, she's pretty confident she knows what's going on.

She requests a machine from one of her nurses that happily obliges to get it for her. She suggests that you expose your stomach for a clearer look into your abdomen. You do it with a bit of haste, just happy to know that this will tell you what's been ailing you. An ultrasound machine strolls through the doors making you feel a little nervous. She smiles and does the procedure with gentle hands, locating the issue at hand. 

You come home, you weren't expecting that to be the cause of all this. Thinking about everything that happened so far does start to connect the dots for you. What will you do though? You run your hand along your stomach, eyes closed picturing the future that you will share with the love of your life.

Jumin rushed home from work as early as he possibly could he wanted to make sure that you were okay. "What did they say, my love?" You hushed his worry by telling him it was just a simple sickness, you loved the way he cared about you. Sometimes he cared too much but you knew its because he loves you so much. He was happy to know that you were fine, although he'd pay anything to heal you if that weren't the case.

It's the day before the big day, the day you'd stop holding this big secret. You wanted to make it special for him. A few calls were made for supplies to aid you in your gift to the most amazing man. You'd hope he likes it as this gift wouldn't be refundable. "How could he not, it was with our love after all." You smile to yourself and shake off the nerves as you prep for the surprise.

Part of you felt like you should've known since Elizabeth was all over you during the past few weeks more than she ever had at one period. You thought it was just her being adorable and wanting to cuddle more. Either way you both appreciated the closeness. The click of the lock alerts you to the door, seeing Jumin step into the penthouse. His eyes search for you as he had great news. He was going to stay home for a couple days to treat you for the holiday.

Last night's dinner was amazing, you couldn't really keep all the food down but you were happy that Jumin was there. He kissed your head before heading out to get you a few gifts to show yo his love and appreciation. You woke up to the smell of roses, opening your sleepy eyes you catch a glimpse of a huge box of fresh roses. There had to be at least a thousand roses in this designer bouquet. He was so thoughtful, you never asked for a thing but he just spoils you anyway.

A card catches your attention and you fetch it, reading the sweet nothings he’s written for you. He's prepared a dinner out at the fanciest restaurant he could get at late notice. He bought you a new satin dress, it was beautiful and slightly hugged the contours of your body. You were in awe thinking that today was the day that you would change Jumin's life for the better.

You treated yourself with a warm bath and a massage to relax you as much as possible. Your nerves were testing you and you were determined to leave them behind. As the hours flew by you grow flushed, feeling flustered as the second biggest moment of your life was coming up. You slip on the dress, it was soft and fit you perfectly. How could you expect less from Jumin Han?

A kiss gets planted at the nape of your neck bringing you out of space. You look in the mirror seeing Jumin behind you, his smile is out of this world. You turn to face him as he leans down and presses a gentle kiss against your lips. Something in you just sparked and you couldn't contain yourself. He pulls away to grab your gifts and the words slips past your lips before you can stop them.

"I'm pregnant-" Jumin doesn't know if he heard correctly or if he just imagined it. You grab a small box and reach out handing it to him. Your nerves grow as he opens the box, what greets him is a test that read positive. His body seemed to move on it's own as he dropped the box onto the bed. He rushes to you picking you up in his arms swinging you around gently.

All he ever wanted was a family of his own, to raise a loving family like the one he never had. He was so overjoyed, letting a few happy tears slip as he held you close. You cried tears of happiness as you celebrated this huge milestone. He sets you down on your feet, kissing you deeply before caressing your stomach. He couldn't be happier that you're going to be the mother of his children.

You both spoke, simultaneously speaking the same words effortlessly. "I love you~" The overwhelming happiness was growing between the two of you, so much so that Jumin laughed so warmly. One that you haven't heard very often if at all, it was sweet and contagious. You both spent the rest of Valentine's day in blissful joy. The man of your dreams, and the baby you made with love.

The most amazing Valentine's day, neither of them will ever forget.

[ayellowcurtain]

Or maybe a fanfic about what happens right after the first kiss on the pool...do they go straight home or would there be at least a goodbye kiss or something bc I find that most believable

Could someone please write a fanfic about Noor going over to sander and Britt's place after the break up in the restaurant and having sander listen in on the entire conversation...how Noor is heartbroken but now sander knows robbe at least broke up with Noor. I just need to see some more of Sanders POV

This is not exactly a prompt sent it to me but I saw @filmnerdsworld ideas and I had to do it, hope they don’t mind!

-

Sander drinks his beer without paying much attention to it, trying to focus his attention on the conversation happening around him instead.

“Everything was fine and then suddenly he said it was too much, that he couldn’t have a relationship on top of everything.” Sander pretends he’s not noticing but it’s clear that Noor is holding back her tears.

“Robbe is immature, Noor. I told you, he and Jens are exactly the same.” Britt says in a way that makes it seem like she knows every inch of Robbe.

Sander can't really pick the moment Britt started to get on his nerves but he can barely keep a straight face when he hears her dumb comments like that one.

Robbe is too mature for his own good. Sander can't stop thinking about him and the guilt that's been eating him alive since that night they spent together. Robbe was brave and mature enough to break things up with Noor and Sander is still here, pretending this relationship is going anywhere. He gets distracted reminiscing, like his brain can only shut down from the conversation when he hears Noor talking about how their kisses were amazing and how much chemistry they had.

"...he tried but it just wouldn't happen, he's virgin, I think…"

Sander slams his beer on the table and the girls seem to finally notice he's there and this is not just a dumb conversation between the two of them.

“You shouldn't be telling other people about this.” He doesn’t care that he sounds angry.

Noor looks at Britt and Sander doesn't even bother, aware that she's annoyed at him for opening his mouth to argue. Noor, on the other hand, is clearly caught by surprise that Sander was listening to their conversation.

“I'm sorry.”

“You shouldn't be listening.” Britt thinks out loud and that's everything Sander needed to hear. He grabs his jacket and his phone at the table.

"Sander…” Noor tries to change his mind, more than used to being left in between these stupid fights but he ignores her.

“You can't leave!”

He ignores his girlfriend too, and leaves the bar before he says something he might regret. They need their privacy and Sander needs some fresh, cold air on his face.

If he really thinks about it, he knows why he and Robbe won't work. Robbe has things to work on himself and Sander can't deal with someone shitting on him again in a relationship.

Robbe's words still hurt, twisting his heart in a painful way that Sander can't explain. But it doesn't mean that he can control how he feels.

That night was the best night of his life. After weeks trying to find a way to be alone with Robbe, the chance was right in front of him and Sander doesn't regret one minute of it. Biking through the city, watching Robbe smile because of him, his extremities so cold he could barely feel his fingers, holding his bike handle so tight. Robbe looked happy, nothing close to being too drunk.

Maybe the water in the pool was cold but it didn't feel like it. Felt like the warmest, most relaxing water Sander was ever in. Robbe kept slipping away from him and Sander pulled him close every time.

Thinking back, Sander is sure it didn't happen that closely but his brain saved Robbe's soft moan against his lips at the exact same second the blinding lights turned on right above them like it was an explosion caused by Robbe's sounds.

Sander stops walking, not sure where he's going so he finds a bench and he sits to calm himself, ignoring how his jeans start to get colder and a little wet where he's sitting.

He looks at the water in front of him, moving slowly and he lets himself indulge, smiling when he remembers about both of them running downstairs still completely naked but Sander doesn't remember feeling self aware. The adrenaline was still rushing through his veins because of their kiss.

The door slammed behind them and there were no sounds coming from the inside, they both looked at the door, waiting to make sure they were safe enough to put their clothes on.

Nobody would walk down that path so late at night so once they thought they were safe, they finally put their clothes on in a silence that wasn't as awkward as the situation would make it. When Sander tried to quietly look up through his lashes he found Robbe still smiling while putting his shirt back on, his pants still unzipped and Sander tried not to think of how sexy he looked, his hair pointing to every possible direction.

He couldn't miss his opportunity, not when that night was going like a dream. So he held Robbe by his neck and kissed him again, as eager as they were inside the pool. The way Robbe crashed into him instantly made him smile against his lips, relieved that he was thinking about doing the same.

It felt like an eternity but also not long enough that they spent glued together, pressed against a wall, kissing non stop unless they were out of breath, smiling to each other, brushing their noses together.

Sander wanted to say so much, about that night spray painting the garbage truck, about the skate park, about how he was desperately waiting for this moment but he didn't find the courage.

The only thing he managed to do was whine and ask for Robbe to just leave his bike hidden somewhere in the bushes so they could bike together to his place and then Sander would go home.

Robbe laughed so contagiously and shook his head, saying the security guy would find it and keep it hostage. Sander promised he would befriend whoever it was to get Robbe's bike back. He would even ask for the guy’s name and ask if they could use the pool every once in a while.

His problem now is that he wants to see Robbe, to talk to him, kiss him, and say fuck it to all the rest. He'll gladly throw his pride out of the window. He selfishly wants to ask if Robbe broke up with Noor because of him, if he regrets the shit he told Sander that afternoon. Sander was sure he was going to wake up with a cold the morning after but he woke up and brushed any runny nose off, more than anxious to go see Robbe, kiss him for hours again.

Robbe's reaction was so far from what Sander expected.

The brightness of his phone screen makes him flinch and look at it, sitting next to him on the bench. After thinking so much about him, Sander had hoped it would be Robbe but it's Noor.

To Sander: Hey

Sorry for what I said

I didn't mean to share, it just slipped out of my mouth, I was upset.

Nobody knows and even though you and Britt are not good, I know she would never tell anyone

Sander rolls his eyes. The Britt Noor knows and the Britt he knows are two very different people. She won't tell if Noor asks her not to but Sander knows she won't stop complaining about Robbe to him.

He can almost feel that Noor is waiting for him to continue the conversation, asking about Robbe so she can whine to him too but he locks his phone, he'll answer her later and she'll get he doesn't want to hear it.

If it was up to him, he would go to Robbe's, spend the night with him, whispering late at night so his housemates wouldn’t hear them under the blanket, their legs tangled, lying so close their lips touch, Robbe's lips so wet and always with an easy smile.

Sander wants to meet him, to ask if he was really that wrong about Robbe because his heart tells him otherwise.

[choco-mark]

can i request how the boys would react when u wake them up in the middle of the night after having a nightmare?

reaction: nct dream reacting to you waking them after a nightmare

mark

you had a nightmare that your boyfriend was being threatened at knife point, and you had woken up completely drenched in sweat which was now being masked by the tears falling from your eyes

he’s right next to you as he always is but you just attack him with the biggest hug and he wakes up to you sobbing into his shirt and he can literally hear his heart breaking

you tell him what happened and he tries to calm you down saying that he’s here, and he’s not going anywhere but you’re still so terrified from the way your mind was thinking

he’s this close to breaking out into tears too because he’s never heard you sound so heartbroken before but he just holds your head against him while whispering to you that it’s okay

‘i promise, y/n, i’ll always be here’

renjun

it wasn’t that bad of a nightmare, well, that’s what you thought when you woke up in a cold sweat completely terrified

you tried going back to sleep but your mind seemed to focus on nothing but the nightmare, so you decide to snuggle into renjun’s grasp a lil more

he wakes up though, and realizes you’re shaking and goes into protective mode and is like ‘are you okay???’ and ‘what happened???’

you eventually tell him even though you’re kinda embarrassed that you got scared but he just holds you :(((

‘go to sleep babe, you’re okay’

jeno

you’re kinda sure that he’s the one who had the nightmare when you shot out of the bed panting really hard and he’s like ‘WHAT HAPPENED’

almost wakes up the entire dorm, taeyong later tells him that they heard him from the 127 dorm but you have to reassure him like 50 times that no, you’re not dying

and then he comforts you but cuddling you like really tightly and you might be suffocating but that’s okay, it’s only jeno

waits until you’re asleep to let himself fall asleep but he’s probably not going to

‘you scared me, baby..’

donghyuck

teases you for being afraid when you shake him awake at like midnight but he’s secretly freaking out seeing your scared expression’

he didn’t even have to ask you for you to tell him what the nightmare was about and hearing you talk in a small voice makes his heart hurt :(((

lightens up the mood by making little jokes while stroking your hair to calm you down just trying to just lull you back to sleep

probably makes fun of you in the morning again but you threaten to expose him to johnny and he shuts up

‘i’ll battle the demons if you want, they can’t touch the sun’

jaemin

jaem’s a bit like jeno, meaning he’ll go bonkers if you don’t reassure him immediately and will 100% ask you if you’re okay like thirty times 

he cuddles you like the big mother bear he is, just offering you all his comfort and pressing lil kisses to your neck to calm your breathing

if you can’t go back to sleep after that, he’ll eat you out but only if you’re down for it he’ll soothe you with that pretty voice of his :(

the next day, he searches up ways to calm people down after a nightmare and mentally notes to himself to hold you a lil tighter when you’re upset

‘i love you, please remember that’

chenle

you weren’t sleeping in the same room as him but the moment you woke up, you were debating on whether you should go to him but you eventually did

you kinda just stand over him sleeping for a bit before you actually wake him up and you’re kinda surprised that he didn’t freak out but he was :( so concerned

his bed was small but he still cuddles you with his head resting over yours while he’s just telling you it’s okay

might even sing to you just to calm you down and doesn’t get reassured until you’re actually back asleep in his arms

‘sleep well, sweetheart’

jisung

you’re sure that jisung’s more afraid than you when you wake him up with your not very quiet sobbing and the thing is, he is terrified when you cry

‘w-what happened?’ 

realizes you don’t want to talk about it and he’s not really fazed by it and physically comforts you instead 

kisses you more times than you can count because he’s trying to help get your breathing back to a normal pace and his hands are holding your face while he’s reassuring you over and over again

‘it’s okay, y/n, it’s okay, i promise’