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#i hate the fact that this is upsetting me so much
xclowniex · 3 days
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The people talking about innocents cheered for Israelis dying and that's what hurts the most.
As much as I laughed at Hezbollah, I am mainly very scared and anxious because this may escalate and to which extent we don't know right now and so many innocents everywhere are going to suffer. I am against this. I am so upset of the violence everywhere. I laughed at Hezbollah but the fact that Israel had to do such a large attack and lives were forced to be endangered made me sad because in this world violence is inescapable which means innocent lives will always be lost and that of course majorly upsets me. I want peace more than anything else.
However to see gentiles support Hezbollah and distort what actually happened WHILE CLAIMING THIS IS ABOUT THE INNOCENTS upsets me above all else. This has never been about the innocents. If that were the case, they'd care for the innocent Israeli lives taken on October 7th. But they didn't.
I hate cowards so much. You don't get to pretend you care about innocent lives while supporting the death of innocent Israelis. You need to be honest with yourself. You cannot say you are pro human rights and make excuses and defend Hezbollah. Also the fact that they view Hezbollah as innocent civilians and that's part of the reason for their anger MAKES ME SICK.
Like you said, It's never about innocents.
If it was then they would condemn Hezbollah for killing Syrians. They would condemn Hezbollah for being antisemitic
“enemies of God” “(jews) invented the legend of the Nazi atrocities” “If we search the entire globe for a more cowardly, lowly, weak, and frail individual in his spirit, mind, ideology, and religion, we will never find anyone like the Jew – and I am not saying the Israeli.” - all real quotes from Hassan Nasrallah
It's never about innocents, it's about finding a socially acceptable way to hate jews
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loganswdc · 3 days
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am i the biggest fan of daniel ricciardo ? no . but as a logan fan , seeing how logan was dropped mid season , seeing how his team treated him , i have to say the way vcarb is doing the same thing is absolutely insane to me . and the fact that they're not verbally saying that , "yes , he's being dropped ," instead hinting at it with everything they're doing .
daniel sitting in his car for a while after the race ended to savour the moment , because this is likely the last time he'll be in formula 1 . his team applauding him as he returns to hospitality , lined up to the entrance like some final hurrah . him crying during the post-race interviews , and his goodbye practically being a tv pen interview ? it's all just so ... reminiscent of what happened to logan , in a way . and i hate that this is happening another driver .
like , again , am i a fan of daniel ? no , and my opinion of him changed to mostly indifference after the start of this year with horner . but is this entire thing sad and really messed up ? yes , absolutely !
human to human i have sympathy for this man and i empathize with him . no driver should have to reach for the end of a season , just 8 more races left , hoping to get through it and keep their seat at least to the end of the season , only to have that completely crushed and get dropped . like i said before , as a logan fan , it's really upsetting . seeing my driver dropped in that way was awful . seeing how he was treated by his team and the whole lead up to his being dropped was a feeling i wish no other driver's fan would feel . and yet , here we are , with another driver being treated the same way . and again , you don't have to be a fan of daniel to realize that this is fucked up . and it's such a deja-vu moment of what happened with logan that i honestly feel sick .
truly , it's sad , and i do hope the rumours aren't true for the sake of the dreams of the little boy wanting to get into f1 . the dreams of a kid who did so much in the sport during his early years , coming to such a devastating end . for the sake of the dreams and health , especially mental , of another human being .
please remember to be kind and respectful to the driver and his fans . you may not like him , but he's a human and we can be the bigger people and show empathy . we as logan fans know what it's like for our driver to be dropped mid-season . the least we can do is show support for the fans who have to see the same thing happen to their driver in such a cruel way .
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bcmbidani · 1 day
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⊹ ࣪ ˖ BOYFRIEND HAMZAH HC’S
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warnings: sfw and nsfw, sizekink
thoughts i’ve wrote whilst bored, i don’t usually post anything i write so if any of u guys like i appreciate it tehe.. maybe i’ll write more! i’ve been heavily inspired by blogs such as @cdbabymp3 @buuniebaby and @onlinesuzie , i love their works guys :( always feeding me with hamzah content. anyways this is just something small that i hope u like !!
sfw
boyfriend hamzah who never imagined he’d be clingy and touchy with his future partner, until you looked at him with big doe eyes and he knew, all he wanted was you.
boyfriend hamzah who messages you random updates of his day when your at work even though he knows you can’t respond. and when you remind him that you can barely check your phone at work he’ll tease you about being a smarty pants with your fancy job, smirk on his face and all.
boyfriend hamzah who isn’t much for pda but can’t help but keep a hand on you, whether it be your thigh or back or shoulder or hand, it just had to be you.
boyfriend hamzah who hates how much he loves your size difference, hates the way his masculinity skyrockets when you look so small.
boyfriend hamzah who sometimes let’s all those thoughts slip, making you compare hand sizes and pressing his hands against your waist to showcase the difference, doting you about how you’re so small.
boyfriend hamzah who brings you up any second he gets, to a point where there’s loads of compilations about him being obsessed with you.
boyfriend hamzah who was nervous about introducing you to the channel, partly because he didn’t want to hear a single bad word about you, but also because, no matter how dumb it sounds, he wanted to keep you all to himself :( (hamzah is y/n’s no1 gatekeeper) he eventually got over that, and introduces you as the channel began to really take off. now one of his favourite things is seeing how much love you get, enjoying the way he can watch people fall in love with you just like he did (he still jokes about how no one gets you like him and that the fans are newgens to y/n..)
boyfriend hamzah who loves seeing how camera shy you get, but also adores the way you become more and more comfortable on camera.
boyfriend hamzah who’s favourite thing is to take photos of you, any where, all the time, to where his camera roll is just filled with you.
boyfriend hamzah who forces you into all of his corny t-shirts, even though they’re huge on you, but he finds it adorable.
boyfriend hamzah who takes note of why your favourite things are your favourite things, whether you love that movie because of a memory or if that's your favourite song simply because you like the way it sounds. he takes the time to learn everything about you. to be loved is to be known, right?
boyfriend hamzah who brings you up whenever he can, bringing up a story involving you or just stating facts about you that slightly relate to the topic at hand.
boyfriend hamzah who tries to be quieter when filming if he knows your asleep or doing your own thing
boyfriend hamzah who views you like a breath of fresh air, aware that when everyone else is pissing him off, he can go home to you.
boyfriend hamzah who puts on your playlist whenever he misses you, each song connecting directly to you in his mind
boyfriend hamzah who also cries to you over the phone when he misses you..
boyfriend hamzah who holds you as you cry about your horrible day at work, listening to every word that pours out your mouth, and wishing he could hurt everyone who upset you.
nsfw
boyfriend hamzah who sometimes cries during sex.. but he can’t help it! you’re just so pretty and feel so nice around his cock and he’s missed you so much :(
boyfriend hamzah who loves to leave hickeys on your skin when he knows you’re filming a video or podcast with him the next day. it’s scandalous, he knows this, but it’s not like he’s trying to hide it.
boyfriend hamzah who acts all moody and protective when a guys been eye-fucking you all night, but when he gets back home you realise all he needs is some reassurance and release, letting him whine about how you’re his and he’s yours as he marks your skin and cradles you close, hips stuttering and desperate against yours.
boyfriend hamzah who notices whenever you’re needy (which, to his liking, is a lot), and lets you grind against his thigh or works his fingers in you until your satisfied, your pretty noises the best thing he’s ever heard.
boyfriend hamzah who gets turned on by your smile. don’t get him wrong, your body is so fucking hot, but that face? oh, he could admire you for days straight. it’s what he finds himself studying as he ruts into you, coaxing you to look at him like the good girl you are, and holding back a guttural moan at the face that meets him.
boyfriend hamzah who’s definitely a head pusher whilst receiving.. he can’t help it, you’re just too good and he can’t get enough! and if you’re looking up at him with those eyes then you can’t blame him! you’re gonna drive him crazy :(
boyfriend hamzah who drags you into the shower with him, and it’s usually innocent, he just loves this domestic shit, the way you insist on shampooing his hair and gently massaging his scalp, the way he does the same for you. but don’t blame him if he gets hard, how can he not when you look so pretty? and sweet, little you won’t leave him all worked up.. so okay, maybe he should stop dragging you into the shower if he wants to cut down on the water bill…
boyfriend hamzah always feels pathetic when you leave for a trip.. he misses you way too much. what’s he to do? he doesn’t want to bother his precious girlfriend too much. and he feels terrible when he calls you in the evenings and the mere sound of your voice gets him hard, he’s pathetic. pathetic as he asks you to tell him about your day in detail as he rubs a hand up and down his cock… but he won’t ask for anything, doesn’t wanna bother you!
boyfriend hamzah who keeps a pair of your panties in his bedside drawer for times like these.. he’s gross :( but he doesn’t know just how much you love it, even if he tries to keep it a secret (he can’t, you know your boy better than anyone..)
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wcnderlnds · 2 days
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stupid for you | peter maximoff
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SUMMARY: you and peter fall out and he makes it up to you in his own peter way WORD COUNT: 928 WARNINGS: some swearing. A/N: idk what this is but writing peter is my fave so he gets all my dumb ideas ❤️ p.s. if the format sucks it’s bc im mobile.
It wasn’t like Peter had meant to upset you. Sometimes his mouth didn’t have a filter and he said things before even thinking about it so when he called you ‘annoying and needy’, he really didn’t mean it. He wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t the type of person to ever want to upset you or anyone for that matter. So when he’d seen you walk away hurt and upset, that had sent him right into action. He just had to make it up to you — make you see how important you really were to him. It gnawed at him inside that he’d been the one to make you feel that way. Never before had he ever felt so bad. So guilty.
He’d spent the whole day trying to think of what he could do to apologise then suddenly the idea hit him. Maybe it was a little stupid, maybe you’d completely hate it but he thought it’d be cool. Different. It’d be something him.
Meanwhile, you’d spent the day moping around the X-Mansion. The training session you’d had earlier had helped distract your mind but as soon as it was over, your thoughts drifted back to Peter. The fight the two of you had had been so stupid. All you’d done is made some comment about Peter needing to slow down for a minute and listen to you and it had spiralled from there. It wasn’t often the two of you argued. In fact, you never really had. In the whole six months you’d been dating things had been going smoothly. Things had been so easy going, so fun — it wasn’t really a surprise that something was bound to happen to ruin that. When things were going good there was always something that had to come along and mess it all up.
With a sigh, you started to head upstairs to your room when suddenly a blur of silver and blue rushed past you. Before you could even blink Peter was stood right in front of you, his hands hidden behind his back. Your arms wrapped around yourself as you looked at him. “Hi.”
Your nerves were mirrored in his face as he spoke. “Hey. Uh…”
The silence fell between you. It was awkward — something that didnt happen often when it came to you and Peter. Just as you were about to open your mouth to say something he began talking.
“Okay, just let me talk for a minute before I chicken out. I’m not good at this shit. I’m not the best at filtering the stuff that comes out of my mouth. That’s why I’m always getting myself in trouble. You know that but the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. You gotta believe me on that one. If I could, I’d punch myself in the face. I mean, I could but… I can’t break the goods, y’know?” He laughed lightly, trying to ease the tension.
“It’s my fau-“
“Gonna have to stop you there, babe,” he said as he pulled one of his hands from behind his back and held it up to signal you to stop. “Can’t have you taking the fall on this one. It’s all me. A Maximoff fuck up special. That little switch people have in their brain where they tell themselves to shut up before they say something dumb? Yeah, turns out mine is broken. Probably wasn’t born with one actually. I’m not letting you feel bad for this. It’s all on me, okay? I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
A small smile tugged at your lips. “It’s okay. You really don’t have to apo-“
“I do, I really do, though. Felt bad the second I said what I said. You’re not annoying and I love when you’re clingy. I love you wanting to be around me as much as I want to be around you. You caught me on one of those rare days where I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe Scott even pissed in my cereal or something, who knows. Point is that I messed up.”
“Are you gonna stop cutting me off?” You asked, an amused look on your face as you listened to your boyfriends rambling.
“Oh shit, sorry. My bad. The floor is yours.”
“What I was trying to say was that you don’t need to apologise because I forgive you anyway. We’re gonna mess up sometimes and I know you didn’t mean it. It was just hearing it come from you that upset me, I guess. Anyone else I could take it but you? Your opinions and thoughts about me matter the most. Can we just forget about it and move on?”
“Sure, yeah… but first…” he finally pulled his hand from behind his back to produce a Lego bouquet of flowers. “These are for you and lemme tell you, it was hell trying to put this together.”
“…you got me Lego flowers?”
“Duh. This way they last forever and you won’t have to worry about watering them and you can always remember the time your boyfriend was a dumbass.”
You laughed, taking them from him. “How long did it take you to put it together?”
“Might have cheated and used the ol’ mutation but I kept messing up. Some of the pieces wouldn’t fit where I wanted them to and I almost got mad and thr-“
“There’s instructions, you know.”
“Are you gonna stop cutting me off?” He grinned, hands on his hips as he echoed your words from earlier.
”Smartass.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
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I've had to close DMs for people I don't follow for the time being. Someone decided to take advantage of the fact that I posted my twitter on here a while back and DM'd me a screenshot of my profile, talking about how ugly I was and how I don't deserve love and a bunch of other hateful shit. I really don't know what i've done to upset this person so much. I think they finally outed themselves as the anon who's been posting those super rude asks for quite some time. They've been blocked. But I'm sure they have alts.
This isn't going to stop me from posting. They may not like what I post but over 900 people so far have decided they like my blog enough to follow it. I must be doing something right lmao
I'm very happy that so many people enjoy my stuff and my characters. And just know I appreciate you all, even the lurkers. <3
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cody-writes · 2 days
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MAJOR WARNING FOR SI
Again longer post
I want to start this with, I have not read the book of Bill yet, However with it being all over my feed, the thought of Bill absolutely mind fucking everyone with sewer slide attempts from Stanford, just makes everything about Bill and Fords relationship SO MUCH WORSE and I both love and hate it. From the writing aspect it’s beautiful and 100% makes sense but for my love for all of these characters, it just makes me so upset and sad.
The exhaustion that both Ford and Stan must have felt with Bills shit is even more crazy. Stan being worried about his brother and not being able to do anything about it because Ford won’t tell him anything about what’s happening and especially not where he is and Stan trying to find him and make sure that he’s not dead when there’s radio silence again. It all just makes me sick and I love it.
Again have not read it but my assumption is that all of this is happening after Fiddleford leaves and Ford and Bill are in that “break up stage”. The idea that he also fucks with Fiddleford and Fiddleford knows where Ford lives and CAN go check on him and Ford shuts him out for leaving even though he’s realizing that his partner was right. And the idea of bill exploiting the fact that Ford had feelings for Fiddleford has me foaming at the mouth.
Anyway have a very small tidbit of what’s in my mind.
“I fucking loved you. and the blood from my death will be on your hands for leaving me with this fucking monster” Bills words were slurred from intoxication and the monster of self destruction. The phone was clutched his hand and a smile was plastered on his face as he spoke.
Ford sat on the sidelines, as was normal when Bill did things like this, his hand over his mouth and his sagging eyes filled to the brim with tears. All he could do was sit and watch until Bills terror finally ran its course. It was the third time that week that he’d done something like this, normally it was just reckless behavior, getting really really drunk before pushing his body to the limits or maybe giving Stanley a call out of the blue saying some cryptic shit before hanging up. But this…telling Fords loved ones that he was going to kill himself, at ungodly hours of the night when no one would be awake, leaving a terrible voicemail until they picked the phone up was his new favorite pastime. And Fiddleford was his victim tonight.
“Bill please this is madness…” he whispered to no avail.
“It’s all your fucking fault, and I reaaally hope you can deal with that. I hope that when you see that I’ve shot myself in the stupid face you realize just how much I cared.”
Finally the line clicked on the other side. “Stanford what the hell are you saying?!”
“I’m saying fuck you!” Bill yelled into the phone before slamming it back onto the base.
The sound of the phone ringing hung in the background as Bill turned to Ford. “Look sixer, this can allllll end if you just keep working with me, keep building my portal.” He slurred, throwing his hands into the air and spinning before stumbling into the couch. “God this meat sack does NOT handle anything well does it!”
“I’m not doing that Bill and you know it! I’ve made that perfectly clear.” Ford looked at the phone, wincing as it stopped ringing before starting back up again.
“Ford please answer the phone….i can’t…I’ll come back just, please…”
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scuderia-hamilton · 3 days
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listen i don't like Daniel, that's a fact, but what's been happening to him during the course of this weekend has been nothing but cruel, unfair and frankly, disrespectful (even if the rumours turn out to be false). i hate nothing more in this sport than teams just dropping drivers in the middle of the season, with little to no warning whatsoever, if they didn't perform to the expectations. these people made and are still making so many sacrifices to be able to be in this sport, they work so fucking hard and i just hate seeing it go to waste like that. it's simply not fair.
you can come up with the regular excuses of it being a cutthroat sport, them being rich, white, privileged men, Daniel performing poorly, i do not care. yes, he hasn't been performing the way the team expected him to do so, but at the end of the day, he's still human and no one deserves that kind of treatment. rbr has been fucking over their drivers left and right and i absolutely despise that more teams are starting to do the same.
sending him out there to give interviews and answer questions about his own future in the sport, when he doesn't even know what it will be, is honestly the lowest of the low. they know exactly how nasty and rude f1 media is and a team putting their own driver in that position is something that should not be normalized. seeing his post race interview made my heart ache for him, he was literally a second away from crying then and there.
just as i've been upset about Nyk De Vries and Logan Sargeant being dropped in the same way, i feel the same for Daniel. it's not about whether you like a driver or not, it's about the principle. this is their dream, the thing they've been working for since they were literal toddlers and seeing it ripped away from them, without even giving them a proper shot is just inhumanely cruel.
i know that Daniel has been around for a while and he got to live his dream, but i still think it's unfair. rbr has been promising him this and that since he replaced De Vries last summer, just to (allegedly) drop him the next season with six more races left. even if they really want to replace him, then let him finish this season. he deserves that much.
i'm excited about the possibility of Liam finally getting a real shot, don't get me wrong and if he really ends up replacing Daniel, i'm happy for him, but i would like him to come into the sport under different circumstances. i also think that hating the driver who replaces another one, is pointless and frankly, stupid. this is not their decision, they obviously take the opportunity, cause getting into f1 is nearly impossible.
this is basically just to say that maybe we should remember from time to time, that they're not just athletes, but real people with feelings and we should always stay kind and compassionate. i've already seen so many hate posts about him, which shouldn't surprise me, but it did. this fandom likes to just jump on a person who's an easy target at the moment or pick and choose who they don't like at that time and all hell breaks loose.
the same thing happened when there were rumours about Daniel replacing Checo and all of a sudden, everyone had an issue with Checo's performance, him as a person, his actions and everyone thought that he deserved to be replaced. you don't have to like all of them, but at least be consistent with your opinions and know where the line is. you can't be upset about one driver being replaced mid-season, then turn around and wish that to happen to a different driver. that's hypocritical.
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muirmarie · 23 days
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jim being canonically the shortest one of the triumvirate is genuinely so important to me lmao, like yesssssss, let that beefy babe be shorter than both his boyfriends!!!!
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littlelightfish · 4 months
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As a member of Mickbell Nation, and a honorary member of Kuro Nation, for Kuro's and Mick's sake I will speak up. I loved this scene on anime.
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When they arrive to the island, the first thing Mickbell does is go to the window and try see outside. He can barely see anything aside the sky color, that's why he wonders what time is it. Kuro leans towards him, or is looking outside the window, or both, I can't really tell. Here we can see that Mickbell could tiptoe and try to see outside, but I believe he doesn't because: a) he'd still be too short to see and knows it and/or b)he is expecting Kuro to hear him.
Now, he could be just wondering and looking outside with no real wanting of looking outside further (he's ok with just looking at the sky), but his body language tells he wants to peek outside.
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THEN he picks up Mickbell without him asking Kuro to do so. Kuro sees his small friend who can't get the vew strugling and decides that he would lift him up to see. He could have just told him "it's dawn", but he decides, without no-one asking him to do so, to do this. Did Mickbell expected this to happen? Yes, you can see it on his face. He's quite happy being lifted up to see outside the window.
This is meant to show that, even tho Mickbell is his boss, Kuro very much does what he wants. Wich is often what Mickbell wants. Because they know each other so well that Mick can be certain that if Kuro hears him, not even complaining, but wondering what time is it, he would be picked up to see by himself.
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On anime, it happens backwards. The first thing we see is Kuro lifting him up. It takes off the sweetness of "oh, he can't see, I'll help him" that we get when Mick asks first and Kuro lifts second. Even when we still get the message if we look at this images, it's not quite the same. At least at first glance. But... Isn't it lovely that he looks at his short ass friend, thinks "is he trying to look outside? He can't, he's too short. I'll help him". And the little surprise on Mick's face? It gives that Mick wasn't expecting this care. He was just looking outside with thia "Well I can't see shit, I wish I was taller sometimes" look in his eyes. Then he gets just a tiny bit surprised as he feels hands grabbing him, but nothing else. He's so used to this he doesn't even turn around to see who picked him up. He alredy knows.
Here, Kuro looks at him, Mick is trying to look outside with not a word. I at first didn't liked that he sayed nothing. The idea was that Mickbell, knowing how his friend would react, sayed something. Bit the "up we go" Kuro tells him as he lifts him up its everything I needed to keep on the living laughing loving.
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And after he can see outside he wonders what time is it. Wich... is a bit wierd... Because he now can see, not only how the sky is, but how the town down there is. It's not dificult to know if it's dusk or dawn by looking at the people on the streets.
So yes, me (detail-obsessed fish) is quite happy with the comeout after a bit of analysis. But I still feel it could've been better to leave as it was on the manga.
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citricacidprince · 1 year
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Thinking about Psychonauts and how much I love the Aquato family once again
They mean the world to me your honor
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#They are a strange little family with so many issues and generational trauma and YET they still LOVE EACHOTHER#DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS TO ME???#Nona; Augustus; Donatella; Dion; Frazie; Rasputin; Mirtala; Queepie-#I love you all and I owe you my life#DION AND DONATELLA ESPECIALLY; Y’ALL GET SO MUCH HATE FOR HAVING UNDERSTANDABLE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL :(#Aquatos get behind me; I’ll protect you from the people who think you abuse Raz and should just get adopted by Sasha and Milla#that’s a bad take and they should feel bad. like; he can still see Sasha and Milla and alternate parental figures; that’s fine-#But Raz; CANONICALLY; would NEVER give up his family; EVER#That boy would force everyone to have a heart on heart with him until everything is better because he DOES that in the GAME#When you talk to you family in Psychonauts 2 you can tell how much he loves them and how much they love him; even if it’s strained at the-#moment from how stressful the past THREE DAYS have been#YES EVEN DION AND DONATELLA#They love Raz so much!!! They’re both just going through it™️ atm and need time to clear their head: remember; everything that has happened-#has been in the span of 3 DAYS and their whole lives have been completely flipped upside down#I think they’re allowed to be upset; in fact; it would be weird if they weren’t#sorry this is word garbage I just love that family so much it makes me wanna drink paint#prince rambles in this chilies tonight#aquato family#psychonauts aquatos#psychonauts 2#psychonauts
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aelswiths · 2 months
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*screams into the void*
#the way he like seems to be choking back a sob of emotions before he says this#he can't bear the fact that he's causing her pain#and that there's nothing he can do to stop it#even though talking openly would help her but he can't do that#because if he does he would have to be vulnerable and if he's vulnerable aelswith might think him weak#which is something he knows she abhors (even though she hates it because of her own feelings of being seen as weak and unworthy)#and he can't bear her rejection because he loves her and if she were to reject him it would destroy him#he can be this open with uhtred because its a manipulation tactic#he's using vulnerability to get uhtred to do what he wants and thats why he can be so open in this scene. he's doing it strategically#but to be open with aelswith leaves him (in his mind) open to losing her since he's caused her so much pain throughout their marriage#and he would have to face the fact that he's done that and she might not forgive him and he can't do that#aelswith is so upset in this scene because she thinks its his final way of saying to her “you aren't worthy” when really its a tactic#to help ensure that she and their children will be safe#but they literally cannot properly communicate with each other because of all of the painful history between them#I'm going insane#I love them so much#they are everything to me#literally everything#he loves her so much#like he could not survive losing her - just the way he clings to her all throughout s3 speaks to that#I really think that because of the similarities between uhtred and aelswith uhtred's betrayal makes him start to fear that he could lose he#and he just starts to cling to her for reassurance that she'll never leave and she won't stop believing in him#ok I'm done#for now#I'm crying#your honor I love them#they mean so much to me
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wisecrackingeric-2 · 4 months
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Can I be mega autistic here and vent for a second and ask if anyone else is lowkey scared for whatever the next RE game is HSBWHDNDJ
#having hyperfixations/special interests combined with a PARALYSING fear of change SUUUUUCKSSS MAAAAANN. IT SUCKS ASS#like realistically I KNOW it’s silly and I KNOW I’ve got nothing to stress over BUT ITS STRESSING ME OUT BAD AND THERES NOTHING I CAN DO#RE4R/Luis has been SUCH a massive comfort of mine and turned into a full blown special interest and I guess the thing I’m most scared of is#the fandom moving on and forgetting abt re4r/luis as a whole which again I KNOW is silly but I can’t control my brain!!!!#and also combined with the fact that Luis probably isn’t coming back to the franchise at least anytime soon is HEARTBREAKING man. like thats#my special interest!! that’s the thing I’ve poured hours of my time into!!!!! I’m scared to see people move on#he’s already a fairly unpopular character in the wider fandom too!! and the fact that the content we do have of him is ALL we’re gonna have?#I dunno that makes me so much more stressed out and anxious than I should be which. again. I KNOOOOOOWW IS SILLY BUT I CANT HELP IT MAN#THE AUTISM!! THE AUTISMMMMM#I dunno I’m expecting Capcom to announce their next game this summer fest and it’s genuinely stressing me out sm which I hate#I hate being so afraid of change it sucks so much man#anyways sorry for the massive vent I just had to get this off my chest cuz it’s been weighing me down massively and making me more anxious#than it has any right to BCNDNENDJXJ#and again the fact that there’s a solid chance we may never see him again at lest not anytime soon is so so so so so devastating to me it#again makes me so much more upset than it has any right to HDNSHENDJDJ#not to mention people who are already weirdly mean and nasty to people who DO like him. I’m Not having a Time rn
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sunsetsandsunshine · 4 months
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Holding myself back from cussing out a new follower I have.
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autisticlee · 3 months
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no one knows just how hard I work at things. how I have to work 1000000x more than the average person to compensate for being autistic and adhd and probably other things i'm working out with therapist, and having a sort of physical disability i've not received any help or treatment for. everyone assumes I don't try or give up too soon. they think I just started, need more practice. they think I expect everything handed to me immediately with no work or effort and don't acknowledge the multiple years i've put into things. they think I have no right to be upset about still failing to get where I want even after working my entire life to get there, while watching people around me surpass even my meager goals within a fraction of the time and work i've out into the same thing. constantly getting surpassed by everyone around me who seem to barely do any work to get there compared to me. it's all handed to them and falls into their lap so easily. all because they don't have the extra obstacles to overcome and work around that I do. while they go from point A to Z immediately with no major stops in between, I have to go through every single letter and then some, often getting sent back to the start. but it's always *my* fault, according to everyone. it's not the fault of those around me who ignore me, don't support me, don't help me, don't believe in me, etc. it's my fault they don't do those things. because doing the work of 10 people in one isn't enough, just because it's me. and not reaching Z as fast as everyone else means I don't deserve any of the support or help or anything else and means i'm not trying hard enough. it doesn't matter that I *need* to work harder than 100 "normal" people combined to get even half the result! Just because I can't reach what they do means i'm not trying hard enough! ugh.
#it's like they WANT me to give up!#they sure act like i'm not trying to give up/not trying if I mention how hard it is/how i'm upset I cant reach my goals after years of work#if someone tells me to just do the thing/stop giving up/try harder/practice more/it takes time/dont expect it to be handed to you/etc#ONE MORE TIME. im going to fucking lose it. in fact im losing it right now hence the rant im writing!!!!!!!#can someone for once tell me its ok to feel frustrated and they know how hard i work and try and deserve better or something idk#ugh i hate this life. sometimes i hate being neurodivergent because it stops me from doing all the things i want#and no one is willing to help because they blame me and say im not trying hard enough when EXISTING takes more work than they realize!#for fuck sake im losing my mind here. not having any support and not being able to support yourself because none of your needs get met#and you have to try to do life with higher support needs and are denied any support. its so fucking hard. idk what to do#lee rants#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#and probably other things that could be tagged but im exhasuted. writing this was hard and took so much energy to make words happen#words hard. how get across what want to say?????? dont know#but why is it always dismissive comments and no one offering any actual help or support that would benefit me in any way#but everyone else gets so many opportunities and support? i guess if you need extra support you arent worth anything#IM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET AND FEEL BAD. PEOPLE NEED TO STOP DISMISSING MY FEELINGS AND TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT FEELING BAD.#WHAT DO YOU WANT AND EXPECT FROM ME FOR FUCK SAKE. HOW DOES ONE TRY HARDER THAN THEIR BEST!!!#HOW DOES ONE DO SOMETHING THEY PHYSICALLY CANT IF THEY ARENT ALLOWED THE HELP AND SUPPORT REQUIRED?!#HOW DO YOU EXPECT A BIRD TO FLY IF IT WAS BORN WITHOUT WINGS#ok im done
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ghostzzy · 2 months
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did she see this post lol
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windupaidoneus · 3 months
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rocks for brains if u dislike hermes for his treatment of meteion but like the other ancients. hes quite literally the only one who views her as a person within her own right shes just a familiar (= can be killed &/or replaced without much fuss) to anyone else. just because he doesnt have the language & capacity to go against the norms of the society he lives in doesnt mean he doesnt care about her. i think some of u just hate visibly neurodivergent characters if im honest. there is no one in the world of ffxiv who loves meteion more than he does & there is no one in the world of ffxiv he cares more about than he does meteion & that is final (fantasy)
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