#i hate this fit because its so fucking cute like he really is in pjs ... ready for bed. fuck. ... i want him badly

[dirt-str1der]

Sick of jerking off to porn now i just look up pictures of kiryu in his little grey tracksuit whenever i need to cum

[sailorwritesstuff]

even MORE Madrigal family headcanons

Because I want to take over this fandom 😏

also found out apparently??? Encanto takes place around the 50's??? that doesn't seem right at all??

no spoilers

When Pepa is mad she says "Ay! im so heated i can hear the clouds."

Dolores got her name from "Dolores" by Frank Sinatra (1941)

Bruno has really nice hand writing. Julieta... not so much...

Mirabel throws herself into playing multiple instruments to impress her Abuela at a young age. She can play six piano, guitar, accordion, the flute, bongos, and ocarina (and the tambourine if you count that as an instrument)

the guitar she learned how to play on was actually Bruno's He used to hide it in his room but before he left he put it in the nursery because he knew he wouldn't be able to play it in the walls.

Antonio kicks Camilo in the ankles sometimes and acts like its an accident. he gets pretty creative with those excuses.

Isabela doesn't want kids. she plans to have one (1) for the sake of the miracle.

Antonio grows up to be the tallest of his siblings and Camilo was heated.

Julieta can SING. She's got a very rich and soothing voice. Even though they're all grown up now the kids still ask her to sing to them when they can't sleep.

Felix has an old record player with all kinds of tunes.

Pepa can't sing for shit but somehow She can memorize notes just by hearing them once or twice.

Felix sometimes just likes to chill and listen to opera. very loudly. And he dances to it like it's just club music.

luisa listens to ballet tunes whenever she's stressed Tchaikovsky: Swan Lake is a favorite of hers

Antonio doesn't like house cats much. they frustrate him because they don't listen

Camilo and Dolores mock their parents. not in a mean way. its actually kinda cute. they've done sense Camilo could talk in full sentences.

Isabela sleeps in one of her dad's old Sleep shirts even tho she has lots of pretty pj sets. she literally hates pants.

Mirabel is a libra.

Agustin hates black coffee. it has to be FILLED with sugar.

The family calls Dolores, Dolly or Lolita a lot.

if you ask Isabela what her favorite color is she'll be very sarcastic because she makes it obvious. "brown" "really?" "no you fucking idiot its purple."

Camilo is 100% and astrology bitch who has everyone's birth chart memorized.

Abuela It's one of those parents who used to wake their kids up to loud music to clean the house. and it was never music they wanted to hear.

every Christmas Antonio ask Mirabel for a shirt. just a shirt. because he knows if he asks for something big she'll go over the top. so if he asks for something small. she'll be normal.

Abuela doesn't like Horses

Pepa wanted to name Camilo, Pedro but Alma wasn't ready yet and broke down crying when pepa asked. she didn't ask again for Antonio but Alma wished she had.

Isabela doesn't like eating meat.

Dolores has a strong distaste for loud music. it hurts her head. So she can never listen to a record player up close She always has to play it from a few rooms over.

Dolores is a big fan of her Tio Bruno's telenovelas

Abuelo Pedro wrote songs. several books full of them. and Alma kept all of the ones she could save. she sacrificed her favorite Dresses so they would fit even tho he said he didn't need them Because she knew he was lying and that they were important to him. She even almost left her wedding dress but she thought about how sad she would be if one of her two daughters didn't get to wear it one day. (spoiler: it was Julieta)

Bruno can also sing And he has this natural rasp to his voice. like a make your knees shake rasp.

Antonio prefers to listen to jungle noise tapes over music. even before he got his gift. now it just makes more sense.

Abuela (back when she was just mamá) would sing to her children the songs that her husband sang to her when they were young and dating

Antonio taught some bird and other creatures how to perform Abuela's favorite song for her birthday. (She didn't enjoy it but she thanked him and pretended anyway)

Mirabel sings silly songs to the kids in town when she sees they're having a bad day.

Mirabel can't take jello seriously. she snickers everytime she sees it move.

Camilo once wrote an entire one man musical that he forced his family to watch. (It was honestly surprisingly good??)

Agustin gets flustered whenever his wife sings to him.

Bruno can't dance

Camilo and Mirabel did highschool theater.

Isabela went to high school theater productions occasionally to throw flowers aggressively at Mirabel and Camilo through out the performance via magic.

Isabela hates showtunes

Isabela also was in school chorus and played the piano so...

Antonio said fuck once and Pepa lost her shit. It rained for a days every time she looked at Camilo who taught him the word.

Mirabel is an advent journaler of emotions (post canon) She goes through about a journal every month and a half. and she carries it everywhere.

Dolores sings like Cinderella. its very pretty. but very rare.

sometimes Bruno forgets he's not supposed to be in the house while he's in the walls and he'll say bless you when someone sneezes. He did it to Pepa once there was a hurricane for two days because she thought her dead brother was talking to her.

Camilo loves ice cream.

Mirabel tried to get Bruno, Isabella, and Camilo to start a band. (they said no)

[ukiyoexo]

HAUNT ME, BABY! — PJS

PAIRINGS — nct, park jisung x reader

GENRES — ghost!jisung, quarantine!au, humour, lots of fluff (+grumpy!cute!jisung), angst (?)

SYNOPSIS — when you see a ghost, you’re supposed to be scared right? yeah, that’s what jisung thought too until he met you.

a night spent in boredom leads you to lighting random candles and attempting to summon a ghost. you never expected it to work — or for the spirit to be so cute.

WARNINGS — ghost summoning, mentions of blood, swearing, pricking your skin for blood, mentions of how jisung died, unedited

WORD COUNT — 5.2k+

TAG LIST — @uwu-yifan @peachjaem00 @heartyyjeno @guccichan

NOTE — i basically took the bloody mary ritual and made some shit up so enjoy :) this is also the fluffiest of all the fics from deviltales so yeah... this is also shorter than i intended but oh well.

DEVILTALES — MASTERLIST

quarantining alone had its perks. like being able to eat whatever you liked whenever, and never having to actually get dressed. as well as the fact that you could spend the day doing what you pleased, without anyone getting in your way.

and maybe that’s why you were going through with the slightly crazy and slightly stupid idea you had come up with whilst spending your fourth hour scrolling on tiktok. there was no one here to stop you from summoning a ghost and you wouldn’t be getting in anyone’s way. plus, you couldn’t help but think it would be nice to have someone other than your cat to talk to — even if that someone was some demon that probably wanted to possess your body.

“red and white candles, check. mirror, yep.” you mumble off the checklist to summon your very own supernatural being. your finger scrolling over the wiki how page on your phone screen one last time before powering it off and chucking it onto your bed.

next stop was the bathroom connected to your bedroom, where you had already lit the two candles, placing them at either corner of the sink. you had already turned off the lights and plugged the sink like instructed, all you had to do now was repeat the chant and prick your finger.

you clear your throat, debating what you would do if your attempts actually worked but deciding to instead remain unbothered. “yolo i guess.” you mutter, only to laugh at yourself when you wonder how many people’s last words were that.

you repeat the chant confidently, despite the fact that it was some random latin that you didn’t understand and most definitely mispronounced. after rerunning it through your head to make sure you had it, you pick up the pin you had placed next to the sink. the cool metal almost numbs the feeling of it piercing your index finger, yet still not enough to completely distract from the unpleasant pinch. a steady drip begins even before you remove the needle, landing against the white ceramic sink bowl and trailing it way down to the plug. one drop, two drops, three drops, you keep count until you hit 16 and a small pool of the metallic liquid has formed at the drain.

nothing happens for a while, and you wonder if it really was just make belief. and then when the red candle blows out, you try to convince yourself that it’s just a draft. you know, because a draft in a closed room with no open windows is so common.

you’re not scared per se, but the feeling of someone’s hot breath against the neck is slightly unsettling, the hairs on your back standing up just that bit straighter with every exhale. you know the next step is to look up and face the mirror, but a part wants to just turn on the lights and pretend nothing ever happened.

then again, you were never one to back down from something once you had begun it.

“fuck it.” you take a deep inhale, holding your breath as you direct your eyes from the bloodied sink towards the mirror.

there it is. the dark outline of a body— a person, you can’t see it’s face at first and wonder if it’s just your shadow. but then the features slowly become more clear, a wicked smile, one white eye, there’s blood dripping from the crown of his head, trailing down to his other, reddened eye, where a thick cut is sliced through. “boo.”

“jesus fucking christ.” you’re pretty sure your soul leaves your body at that very moment. definitely a ghost- definitely a ghost- definitely a ghost. but what fucking ghost says boo?

one hand is clutched to your chest, heart hammering against your ribcage, the other fumbling for the light switch. your widened eyes still trained on the mirror.

“you— you’re like actually a ghost?” you question, the light switch seemingly impossible to find despite your frantic attempts. the boy behind you seems caught off guard by the enquiry. “i mean—” he begins in the most unghostlike manner “yeah, i guess. i prefer haunted spirit of the underworld though.”

you finally hit the switch and the boy comes into full view, your body turning so you can get a better look at him. he’s— he’s surprisingly unthreatening.

sure, he has copious amounts of blood dripping from his being, and yeah, he looks like he could possess you with the snap of his fingers. but, he also has the roundest rosy cheeks, and the most adorably button nose. plus, he talks like most of your friends do — not the spooky victorian vibe you were picturing. “huh.” you lean back against the sink basin, arms folded across your chest, eyes narrowed. “hmph, you’re kind of cute.”

the ‘haunted spirit of the underworld’ looks a mixture of offended and confused at your statement, eyebrows furrowing with a exaggerated pout on his lips. “what?” he mirrors the action of your arms, “you’re not supposed to find me cute— you’re not supposed to.” he stomps his foot and you can’t help but lose it, giggling erupting from your chest.

“not my fault, dude.” you inform him casually once you’ve caught back your breath. sliding past him to get to the bathroom door and promptly opening it. he follows as you enter your bedroom, standing above you with the same expression as before as he watches you slump onto your bed.

“but no one ever finds me cute.” he just looks more confused now. “guess im the exception,” you shrug, “i mean how many people have summoned you anyways?”

“a lot, ok? and that’s not the point. you’re killing the atmosphere by being so chilled out and i’m not here for it.” the boy continues but you’re more focused on examining him. under the thick red liquid is a dishevelled, ink black mop of hair, a slightly tattered black shirt that is loose fitting to his figure and then a pair of ripped black jeans, although you can’t tell whether the rips are intentional or a result of his untimely death. “hello? are you even listening to me.” your eyes flick back up to his face, “yeah, yeah i’m listening— something about atmosphere or some shit.”

he lets out a huff and indicates for you to shuffle over, moving to sit on your bed, “whoa, pause, that blood won’t get on my sheets right? i just washed them.” he pauses in his tracks, looking at the white linen and then back at you. “i’m a ghost.” he states obviously. “good point.”

silence seems to settle in the room once he gets himself comfortable, his eyes examine your room whilst your eyes examine him. the pout on his face had vanished, only to be replaced by this almost saddened look. for some reason, you can’t help but feel like it’s your fault.

“you can try again.” you mutter awkwardly, offering up the best comforting smile you could. “try what?” “you can try scaring me again. we’ll go back to the bathroom, i’ll turn off the lights and you can jump out again.” his head tilts as you explain your suggestion and you swear you can see the apples of his cheeks redden just slightly. “i— i mean it won’t work will it? you already know i’m here.” he reasons back.

“ah, my dearest haunted spirits of the underworld, you clearly haven’t witnessed my superior acting skills before, lemme show you how to be scared.” you stand up confidently, sliding backwards to the bathroom, wiggling your eyebrows as you do so.

he once again follows, watching inquisitively as you relight the candles and turn off the lights, closing the bathroom door behind you, once you’re both fully in. “now, do your thing.” you offer him a quick smile and he nods hesitantly, settling himself in the darkest corner of the bathroom where you can’t even see him. “haunt me, baby!”

as you let out your last, more joking, words, the red candle is blown out once again, the white candle merely flickering and provided little to no light. your breath catches in your throat and any humour you have left to offer seems to dissipate out of your body.

there’s a tapping against the tiles to your right. then a scraping behind you. you can hear an unintelligible whispering echo throughout the small space but can’t make out what’s being said.

a cold draft hits the back of your neck, following the shiver that runs done your spine and leaves goosebumps on your arms.

your eyes are locked on the mirror in front of you. you don’t even have to act scared, you just are. your heart pounding harder and quicker in your chest with each passing second, your breaths unsteady and shallow.

one tap on your shoulder, then two, then what feels like someone tugging on strands of your hair. your body tenses at the touch, limbs stiffening.

and then, in the glow of the weak candle light, a face appears, a familiar face but one that given the circumstances, looks all the more terrifying. your eyes widen just as before, your features hardened in the tense moment.

“boo.” he repeats the same ‘scary’ word as before but in a low whisper. you try your best to remain calm but it’s at that moment that you lose it, your eyes squeezing shit and your hands flying to hit the lights. “nope, nope, nope.” you repeat in a chant, jumping on the spot as if that would make things any better.

“what? was i good?” the ghost sounds surprised, chirpy, and it’s enough to convince you that you can look up again. “were you good?” you respond bewildered, staring at the boy, “you were to fucking, i hated that.” you inform him, pacing to wards your bed. he trails behind, cheering to himself proudly.

“promise to never scare me like that again?” you hold out your pinky once he’s sat back next to you.

he pauses slightly but then nods, extending his pinky as well, hooking it around yours. “promise.”

♡ ♡ ♡

“wait, you never told me your name? and how old are you?” you and ghost boy are lying on your bed, having established that he’ll be ‘haunting’ you until dawn, leaving you with six hours to kill.

“jisung, eighteen.” he hums back, “you?”

“i’m y/n and the same age.” you roll onto your stomach and closer to jisung, giving him a wide, cheesy grin. his eyes narrow, as if to say what are you doing, but then widen when he feels your arm shove him off the bed. of course, it doesn’t work because he’s a ghost and can hover, but you still receive the same amount of entertainment.

“why can i touch you?” you continue your questioning after jisung settles on the chair next to your desk, “and why can you sit on things?”

he huffs out a breath but doesn’t really seemed bothered by the pestering, in fact he rather enjoys having someone to talk to. “you can touch me because you summoned me, and i can sit on things because i control what i go in and out of.” he explains as simply as possible, holding his hand out against your desk. “look, like this.” he rests his hand ontop of the surface as if it’s nothing. then he lifts it back up and lowers it again, however this time, it goes straight through the wood. “whoa.” you gasp, genuinely impressed. “cool, right—”

“can you go through me?” you burst brightly, and jisung looks mildly concerned. “i mean— i’ve never tried but—” “try it on me! try it on me! try it on me, please!” you extend the last your vowels desperately, grasping your hands hands together in a begging motion.

jisung rolls his eyes but agrees nonetheless, rising from seat and walking towards you with his hand extended. “ok, hold out your hand.” he instructs and you comply eagerly. your hand pointed outwards with your fingers spread slightly.

jisung rests his palm against yours, his skin is cold but soft. but then the feeling seems to vanish, and you watch wild eyed as jisung closes his fist, inside your hand. “what does it feel like?” he asks.

“like nothing.” you tilt your head, it wasn’t as exciting as you thought it’d be.

jisung then pulls out of your hand again, places his palm back against yours and threading his fingers with yours, materialising his flesh again. “aw, you’re holding my hand.” you tease sweetly, “cute.”

jisung scoffs, quickly pulling away at the mention of that horrid c-word.

“anyways then, what do you want to do?” you flop back onto your bed, staring at the ceiling. jisung lifts off the ground, hovering above you and looking down to make eye contact. “what do you mean?”

“well, is there anything you didn’t get to do whilst you were alive that you wish you could? are there things you want to experience again?”

jisung smiles, it’s a sweet question. bittersweet though.

he had never really thought about the things he had missed out on, and he’d tried his hardest to not think about the things he actually missed. but something about you asking it, so innocently, so pure hearted and warm, makes him smile. makes him less sad about his untimely death.

“i don’t know.” the ghost drops beside you, fiddling with his fingers. “well let’s make a list then.” you match his smile and jisung swears this is the most he’s felt since becoming a ghost.

♡ ♡ ♡

half an hour passes before you finally have a list you can actually accomplish within the confines of your apartment.

first on the list is learning how to skateboard, your board that had been propped up in the corner of your room since the start of quarantine coming in extremely useful. “ok, put one foot on the deck,” you instruct calmly, hands already being grasped by jisung’s. the icy feeling if then still something you couldn’t entirely get over. “then the other.” he does as he’s told. stepping on carefully but surprisingly soon, he was a ghost though — nothing to lose.

it goes pretty smoothly, your body guiding his around the hard wood floor of your bedroom. there’s a few wobbles but nothing too severe. “fun?” you grin and he nods eagerly back, it was almost like having a puppy.

“now you try on your own.”

he stops smiling at that.

“but what if i fall off?”

“you’re a ghost.”

“oh yeah.”

jisung adjusts the board so that it’s facing down the longest stretch. he confidently settles himself on the deck. with one, slightly too strong of a push, he’s off across your room. he picks up speed quickly as he goes and it’s only near the end of his path when he realised that he’s fucked up.

whilst he jumps off, the board keeps flying, only stopping when it hits the wall — or rather goes through it.

you both stand, frozen in you positions, staring at where your plaster wall had been broken through. “you just put a hole in my wall.”

“that, i did.”

“ok enough skateboarding for you.”

you move on swiftly after that, finding out that jisung can still eat and deciding to order a selection of his favourite dishes: sushi, pizza and even pork belly.

whilst you wait for food, you decide to move onto the next on the list: alcohol.

“so you’re telling me you never drank alcohol, like any at all, before you dies?” jisung nods to your astounded question. “seriously?” you scoff, genuinely shocked. “the most i’ve had is a sip of mum’s wine and it was nasty so i just steered clear of alcohol as a whole.” he informs you and you’re pretty sure your jaw is touching the ground. “what about drinking games?” he shakes his head again. “that’s wild dude.” it seems like the only motion jisung can do is moving his head as nods awkwardly for what feels like the hundredth time.

you don’t pay much mind as you head to your kitchen, choosing a selection of alcohols and mixers and several glasses before making your way back to the bedroom with full arms. 

you settle yourself on the floor of your room, pouring out the various liquids into different glasses. “you don’t have to drink if you don’t want, you know that right?” you asks, swirling a glass of lemonade and lemon vodka in your, wanting to make sure that you weren’t forcing the ghost boy to do something he didn’t want to. “yeah, i know, but i do want to.” “ok, good.”you grin, hoding out the glass in your hand towards him.

he winces at just the smell which makes you giggle, the way his nose srunches being incredibly cute. he takes swig anyways however. its a quick one but you can tell by the range of emotions that spread across the boys face that he definitely got a taste. “good?” “i guess.” he twists his lips and you laugh even more.

“up next is gin.” you inform him, swirling another glass of alcohol and this time tonic.

you hand him the glass and he readily takes it, offering you a concerned look after taking his routine sniff as if to say ‘you really drink this?’. you smile encouragingly, despite thinking the drink you had just handed him was the worst of the lot. 

unfortunately for jisung, he takes you expression as a form of reassurance that the gin will be better than the last and takes a more confident sip than the prior drink. however, just as quickly as he’s sipping it, he’s spitting it back into the glass, this disgusted look on his face as he tries to hold back a gag. you let out a boisterous belly laugh at his reaction, much to jisung’s distaste.

“you like that?” he questions between gulps of water, watching you intently. his eyebrows arching wildly when you respond with a “rarely.” 

“so, wanna taste the next one?” you grin again, but jisung as trusting as before. “not really.” he pouts but you circle the drink around his face and he can’t really say no, he had never really had any self restraint anyways. “fuck it.” he hums before downing the mix of malibu and coke, a pleased look flashing across his face. “you like?” you nudge him into a response, “i do.” he smiles back, surprisingly happy. 

you appreciate his good taste in alcoholic drinks but decide to do only one more round before wrapping the session up. 

the last differs from the rest. the fact that it was dairy based and thicker eing the most obvious differences, as well as the fact that you put no mixer with it. “what’s this?” he holds the brown liquid up to the light as if that would help him decifer what he was about to sip on. “chocolate baileys.” you smile at him fondly, and he tilts his head at you. “don’t worry, you’ll love it.” you offer him some more genuine reassurance this time and his nods timidly, “bottoms up.” he raise his glass to his lips, taking a small swig. “wow.” he has another taste. “good?” “really good.”

food arrives shortly after and you waste no time stuffing yourself with the selection of delicious foods, making that jisung has plenty and enjoys the meal to its full.

♡ ♡ ♡

next on the agenda was catching up with all the music jisung had missed. and god, there was plenty.

you created a playlist of your favourites, a collection of ones he may know, and other new ones, setting it to full volume on your speaker — your neighbours could deal with the noise for a while.

when you begin to twirl around the room, busting out your favourite moves, jisung doesn’t seem too fond of joining in. unfortunately, no one told him how hard it would be to say no to you. the way you grip his hands and spin him on the spot with encouraging cheers make him laugh too much for him to then say no.

“there you go!” you grin ecstatically, watching jisung throw out some peculier but workable dance moves. your questionable singing matched with his much better singing when a song he knew came on.

your dance party goes on for what feels like half an hour but is really half an hour at most.

you spend half the time belly laughing while battling it out on who could dance better and although jisung won, it’s one of the best half an hours of your life. it almost makes you sad that, despite your exhaustion, you can’t continue with the dance party for longer.

you cross it off the list happily, looking for the next doable thing — watch avengers: endgame.

you were never much of an avengers fan but it turns out jisung was a huge one. and one thing he didn’t get to do before he passed was watch the last to the film, something he had been dying to do.

thankfully for him, you had already bought it after one extremely boring day in quarantine, figuring it would help you easily pass three hours of your time. only now, you were hating the length as it just meant less time to spend with jisung.

jisung actually having to agree to play truth or dare with you whilst watching otherwise you refused to turn it on.

it gets only fifteen minutes into the film and your prodding at the ghost’s arm. “psst,” you over exaggerate, “truth or dare?” you grin taking a scoop from the ice cream you had retrieved earlier.

jisung flickers his gaze between the screen and your pleading, hating how cute he finds you. “dare.” he whispers back.

if he hadn’t been so focused on the film, jisung would have seen the almost maniac like smile that spread across your lips. he then, would have been less shocked and disgusted when you dared him to drink a shot of soy sauce.

“you want me to do what?” the boy splutters, looking at you with mild concern. “what happens if i don’t?” one eyebrows quirks upwards. “then i choose a different date, as well as a truth.”

the manic smile returns.

“ok, fine.” you’re almost more shocked that he agrees to the questionable, sodium packed drink. “really?” you gasp. “yep, really.” he only confirms back.

you return to the bedroom a couple moments later with a glass bottle of dark brown liquid in one hand and a pair of shot glasses in the other. “you doing it with me?” jisung wonders once he sees the two small vessels, normally for alcohol.

“might as well.” you nod, questioning your own sanity as soon as you agree, “you only live once right?”

the joke is probably inappropriate given the circumstances, yet jisung chuckles nonetheless.

the humour dies down shortly after when the sodium liquid meets your tongue. your attempt short lived as you wait a whole five seconds to spit the shot back out. grabbing one of the glassses of water you had prepared and swirling it around your mouth.

jisung seems to struggle less than you, the alcohol most likely acting as a good warm up to him. however, you can tell by the expression his face twists into that he still definitely doesn’t enjoy it.

you fire more dares back and fourth after that, resulting in you snacking on a whole lemon and jisung ending up in an outfit of your choice — turns out ghosts can change clothes. and it continues until jisung finally chooses truth.

“so,” you clear your throat awkwardly, “well,” you continue to stall, twiddling with your thumbs. you open your mouth to speak again but jisung cuts you off, “you can ask me anything, like anything at all.” jisung nudges you encouragingly.

you sigh, looking at him with a pout, “ok then,” you don’t sound very enthusiastic but it’s more that you just feel bad, you couldn’t imagine that many people would enjoy reliving their last moments — assuming that’s what he was referencing, “my truth for you mr jisung is, how did you die?”

a silence settles between you and you’re too scared to even look up from where you were playing with the hem of your shirt.

“i— why would you ask me that?”

his words cut through the tension sharply. his tone serious.

“i— you- but you just said—” you’re beginning to panic, wondering if you had just hallucinated th last five minutes, but for all you knew, you could’ve been hallucinating all of this experience. “i’m sorry—”

“i’m fucking with you y/n, it’s fine, i was surprised you didn’t ask me earlier in fact.” jisung is evilly giggling just a bit too much for your liking, enough for you to attempt to wack his stomach. of course that fails though as he lets your arm just fly straight through him. “i hate you.”

“you don’t really,” he teases, reaching over to squish your cheeks as you glare at him. “it wasn’t interesting anyways, i was just hit by a car, boring really.”

“was it on purpose?” you pull the ice cream spoon between your lips.

“huh,” he takes another scoop himself, “i never thought about that.”

“well, did it hurt?”

“kind of,” he hums, looking like he’s genuinely trying to remember, “this bit hurt.” he motions towards his eye and for a second you almost forgot having a thick red gash across your eye wasn’t normal.

“hmph,” you lean towards him inspecting the cut, “that’s wild.”

“well, how do you wanna die?”

the way jisung asks so genuinely has a bubble of giggles brewing in your stomach, but you expression hardens when you realise he’s being serious. “i don’t know, i’ve never thought about it before. i die when i die, you know? i can’t stop it, so i might as well just enjoy what i have now and accept whatever death comes to me in the future, momento mori or some shit.”

you answer nonchalantly and jisung’s surprised by how calm you are about death.

he remembers the first time he experienced death. his grandpa passed away when he was eight and although he didn’t fully understand the concept of dying, he understood enough to be sad. and when his grandma passed away at ten, he was finally able to grasp the concept of it.

if he was being honest, death terrified him.

it was uncertain. and jisung didn’t like uncertainty. the unknown darkness that was death scared him and he even at eighteen, he hadn’t fully accepted it.

but hey, he was a ghost now, not much he could do to change his death anymore.

♡ ♡ ♡

the film ends sooner than you had expected and there’s not long left before jisung will leave. it’s weird, you didn’t think you could get so attached to someone so quickly, but then you summoned jisung and you both just clicked.

you had both decided that for the last moments you’d sit out on the balcony of your apartment, let jisung jisung feel the warmth of the sun as it filtered through the clouds.

“i think you’re my favourite ghost.”

“you’ve met other ghosts?” jisung quirks up his eyebrows, tilting his head towards you.

“nope, but i imagine you’re the best.” you continue confidently, watching as pastel blues and pinks fade into the sky.

he smiles at that.

he thinks you’re the best human he’s ever met, too.

you attempt to pass you the time by talking about life before death and your life after he goes but all conversation simmers down into a silence. it’s not uncomfortable, more just this solemn quiet. jisung didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t really have a choice — being a ghost really sucked sometimes, that was for sure.

“you know, there’s something else i kinda want to do before i go.” jisung hums, drawing your attention to his face. “what?” you question innocently which in itself makes the ghost smile. 

“well,” he begins, suddenly nervous and blushing under your gaze, “when i was alive,” you nod, encouraging him to continue, “i never got to have a proper first kiss.” he quietens at the end slightly but what he’s saying is still clear as day.

“oh.”

you watch him shift in his seat, waving his hand in and out of the arm rest anxiously. “mr haunted spirit of the underworld, are you asking if you can kiss me?” you can’t help but tease the red cheeked boy, swirling your finger on your lap.

“i mean— you don’t—”

“i’d love for you to, jisung.”

your grin is suddenly matched on the boy’s face, a genuine smile that makes your heart pump even faster and this bittersweet feeling to settle in your stomach.

you stand up from your seat and he does the same, intertwining his fingers with yours and shuffling closer towards you. his gaze lingers on your lips for a moment before shifting towards your eyes. the way your irises glow in the morning sunlight something he wishes he could witness everyday. the way your cheek feels against the delicate touch of his fingertips, something he wishes he could experience everyday. “thank you.”

“for what?”

“for making me feel alive for the first time in all my eighteen years, dead and alive.” he confesses barely above a whisper, your hand shifting to cup the back of his neck.

he tilts forward, resting his forehead against yours, letting out a soft breath before closing gap completely.

his lips are plush, a soft velvet against yours. this heavenly feeling that makes you wonder whether he’s more of an angel than a ghost. the feeling has jolts of electricity sparking through every nerve of your body and you wonder if he feels it too. you do your best to savour each second of the kiss, letting yourself indulge in the moment.

hoping to imprint it in your memory for ever.

when you pull back, you’re met with nothing but the rays of sun indicating that dawn had come and jisung had gone.

you’re not sure what comes over you but there’s a gentle trickle of tears that escape your eyes. you were happy to have gotten to know him while you could, but it hurt knowing that you couldn’t do more.

you settle back in your chair after the realisation comes to you, dwelling over the questions you didn’t ask him. the most important being whether he’ll ever be able to come back.

you hoped he would.

and if not, you found comfort at least in knowing that he had still left his mark. from the hole now in your wall to the many memories you had to look back on.

even though you had never been one to believe in soulmates, you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if that’s what you and jisung were. even if you roamed in different worlds, you couldn’t help but think you were made for each other. only hoping that in your next life you would finally get to be together.

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

Welcome to the thread:

Ellie livewatches Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief

I haven’t read not one PJ book

I KNEW IT WAS POSEIDON

That was a weak ass effect mr Zeus

OKAY HEISENBERG

What type of name is yancy academy

Aw :(

I don’t like when teachers don’t call on kids who don’t have their hands up

Like……fuck that

He literally can’t read stuff, ma’am make it make sense for him

FUCK THIS GUY

“He’s been good to us” MA’AM THIS GUY IS NASTYYY

I hate his teacher STOP STARING BITCH

DEMIGODS

I HATE HERERR

Stop staring my fucking god

My ears would be burning

OH SHEESUS

THE FUCK

I thought it was a flute tbh

PERIODT

He got what he deserved

Bc he was a god ma’am

WHY WOULD YOU SAY “because you were the most difficult thing he ever did “

Like that wouldn’t make him feel bad

Okay what the fuck

This was familiar

Like I’ve watched bit and pieces of this before

So I know he was a goat man (forgot the proper term)

Satan?

WHERED SHE GO

This kid is traumatized, I just know it

Damn 3 days is a long time to be knocked out

Nobody fucking stays underwater for 7 minutes, that’s not normal bestie

So I guess those things do make sense

HER????

Are the straights okay?/j

NOOOOO, not the nymphs sir

I KNEW IT

you’re here bc you’re in danger bestie xx

JUST TEN DAYS GODDAMN

I need Zeus to like…..suck it up and make another lightning bolt, come on

We fightin’

Rip to the mohawk 😔👊🏽 you will be missed

That’s kinda smooth as hell

PUT THE HELMET BACK ON

it can’t be that simple

Maybe don’t splash so much

Okay…..well no

She’s annoying

Not because she’s beating him, because she’s cocky and like ma’am you can lose sometimes.

Also he has like zero training, to immediately put him in a battle seems a bit unfair.

HYDRATE BITCHES

INFECTION MUCH

YALL DIDNT TRY TO FIGHT BACK

I don’t give two shits if he has water powers

I’m gonna beat his ass, I’m competitive as hell

Getting the team together I see

Ooh winged shoes

Like a port key

I love how he’s gearing them up

MEDUSA SCENEE

I remember this from when I was little and watched this

Ew

Uh oh

OH NOOO

THE FIT IS FITTING MA’AM

Don’t look at her

MA’AM

like hermione with the mirror with the basilisk

She can smell you bestie

Alexa play turn to stone by electric light orchestra

Run her over

Heads up, I like that lol

WAKE UP

I also remember the Parthenon scene

from when I watched this when I was little

BRO SHUT THE FUCK UP

I hate him

Just say that it was a prop

UM-

Actually no I forgot he’s black, they won’t believe him

IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

ah yes ✨breaking and entering ✨

I jest, I jest

OW-

Those working class Americans don’t get paid enough

Also CAMERAS

Huh-

ITS A HYDRA

Yeah this was going too smoothly

okay maybe I know more about Greek stuff than I thought lol

Um-

They regenerate their heads

Kwispy

I wonder what happened to the actual janitors

Well that’s a lot of water damage

I would’ve been a little further back

My eyebrows would’ve gotten singed off

It’s a new exhibit for the museum at least

AAAAA it so pretty

This music is really good

Mutuals we meet up at the lotus hotel

SO COOL

Don’t eat anything

I knew it was drugged

Not me turning my phone up to hear poker face better when it’s on the TV

They kinda need to be arrested for selling drugs to minors

Thank you Poseidon

oh my god

People are legit trapped there oh my god

I hope that shit doesn’t cost them

How does he know his name???

WAIT HOLD ON KESHA IS PLAYING AYYYY

Ah shit here we go again

Well that’s collateral damage

Me: hopefully it’s not a trap *sees skeletons* never mind

He’s kinda hot

But like no he isn’t

Yeah no

It’s literally satan himself and I’m like “🥺👉🏽👈🏽 is for me”

No, he’s not

Uh

It’s been there the whole time, huh

Ayo Hermes jr. explain

Thank you Persephone

Demeter get ur daughter

Is she a minor????

Oh full circle

I KNEW IT

I KNEW HE WAS THE VILLAIN

this damage needs to stop

Calm the fuck down sir

Just because your daddy doesn’t love you doesn’t mean that you can just fuck everyone over

I’m getting flashbacks to dr strange

Okay this is a cool visual

I knew there was gonna have to be water somewhere

This is a really cool visual wow

You will be arriving shortly at your destination

Is he making the right decision by handing it over?

We shall see

Well damn 7 months is a lot longer than some ppl

But still shitty

Aw that’s cute

Father son bonding

THANK GOODNESS SHE KICKED HIM OUT

I want to go to camp half-blood

I was about to be so mad if they kissed omg

It felt too soon

He better come get his shit or throw it out

Yes ma’am throw his ass out

AS HE DESERVES

[ageofevermore]

1-96

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

it’s a dual sliding door, so usually one sides open. but preferably, both doors are closed. 

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

sometimes in the summer, not often though. 

(3) Can You Whistle?

yes! 

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

well for some reason there’s a guy on my TV singing God Bless The USA

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

purple

(6) Relationship Status.

single because my favorite omegle guy won’t answer me 

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

48F / 9C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

i woke up wishing i was still asleep

(9) How Many Followers?

835

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Sun: Capricorn, Rising: Aries, Moon: Aquarius 

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

brown / hazel 

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

no

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

obviously, i’m not completely insane

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

whatever fucking book my english class assigned...

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

i literally only have a text book by me and opening it is triggering

(16) Favourite Anime?

i don’t watch anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom...about greys anatomy...but still my mom about christmas and my birthday. i cry alot, but i like REALLY cried about those two topics

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

chapstick, trauma, candles 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

it’s only 10am and i haven’t even thought about breakfast 

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

yes, and then my mom yells at me because i do nothing “subtly” and the entire car shakes

(21) Favourite Animal?

white siberian tigers, snow leopards, dolphins, and now elephants

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

unfortunately. i love gymnastics, but like, i’m not trying to watch men in toboggans and swim caps 

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

anywhere between 12pm and 3am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

no, i never wear makeup because it makes me look more ugly

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

besides my friends i don’t really have a favorite blog, i stick to my circle and don’t venture very far 

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled. 

(28) What Makes You Happy?

i couldn’t tell you...

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

without, but i always start with it on. it never lasts more then two songs.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

a shade of purple from the crayola 200 pack

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

wii

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

ocean

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

hell mothering fucking year i do baby, lets take that train to hogwarts 

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

its a friends pj crop, so black and white stripped with the central perks logo

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yup

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

save money 

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

my cup 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

stranger things ig

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

no, those assholes scare me, but i’ve grown + released them 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

um chile, i would follow my best friend off a cliff with no hesitation

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the fucking time 

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

ITS MY FAVORITE FORM OF TRAVEL 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

the hannah montana movie

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts 

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

one direction 

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

yes 

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

yes, but it takes me forever to fall asleep 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

yea, depends on the day and the level of scardy bitch i feel like being 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

i love both 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

hell yeah, let me feel the beat in my kidneys 

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

carve pumpkins 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

no tears left to cry by ag

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

fall

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

a churro + peppermint mocha frap

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

female (she/her)

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

iced coffee / sweet tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

yeah, i have environmental homework and US I homework and Algebra II homework

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

bruh, idk 

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

no, that shit’s never made 

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

jigglypuff 

(64) Favourite Social Media?

pintrest 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

they’re okay

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

no. i don’t miss thins very easily, i’m away from home for a week and i have no doubt that i could spend the rest of my life without going back. 

(67) Are You A Virgin?

yes sir

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

idk, some really thick and heavy in hydration set 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

sleep in my car, though both options scare me 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

i have a strained relationship with my bio dad, but unfortunately i still have to associate myself with him a few times a year 

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

black widow or spiderman 3, but i’m willing to see anything just take me back! 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i’ve never had an ex, but i do wish krystian would stop ignoring me. stupid scotland boys 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“friends dont lie”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

green / brown 

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

i loved swinging, but a few years ago it started making me dizzy so i don’t swing very often anymore. but tire swings especially are my shit 

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

chicken flavored ramen 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

yes 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yeah...because they’re dying and if i have the skills to save them...why wouldn’t i?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

honey, i do full virtual high school. we stan a pandemic (we don’t)

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

social media stalker is my middle name. not anymore though, i haven’t been asked to find a boy in a while 

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

no. i hate it. anxiety city man. 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i don’t wear rings, but i really want to.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

woke up, watched stranger things, made ramen 

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

whatever i fall asleep in. 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

are beauty and skincare the same? because i don’t own much makeup. 

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

i used to be a night person. but this pandemic has hit hard with depression and i’ve become a stay in bed all day person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

2048 balls, among us, ball sort puzzle, bubble shooter, bubble sort, color roll 3D, drag n merge, fit and squeeze, hole.io, mario kart, match 3D, nonogram.com, paint the cube, roof rails, solitare, spit, stacky dash, stair run, timber run...

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

After my moms fiance died, I had a dream that he was able to come see my fifth grade play (he died just before it happened) and when we were walking out he got into the white car from fast and furious (we watched the movies together) and said he would see me again soon, then he drove off...like talk about weird 

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

rootbeer 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

i like a good clicking sound 

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

sweats everyday all day 

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

like a fucking wreck 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

netflix 

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

i want a bunch of little symbols, and i think it would be cute if i got a T for my mom, but i can’t tell her that because she might think i’m going soft and exploit my show of affection (jfc why am i like this lmao)

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

colleen ballinger 

[charlies-crashcourses]

college crash course #3: deadlines and daily tasks, aka getting shit done on time

I hate online courses. I just do. Everyone else in my life loves them and scrambles for the chance to stay home in their pjs as they do their work. My brain, however, cannot for the life of me remember to complete tasks with no outside input, and so every single class I’ve gotten a low grade on in my college career has been an online class, without fail. I need structure to thrive, as do most adhd people (especially those in college) and so

What’s the solution here? What works best?

I have a couple strategies for this that work in tandem, so here they are

Strategy 1: Daily Task Sheets

on my desk I have at least 12 different types of sticky notes for different uses. Nothing so intense as color coding or organizing that way, I mean one for little positivity reminders and a smaller one for words I like and want to include in my writing and another larger one for little sketches to do as I work, etc etc.

One of these stacks of sticky notes is large and neon and used specifically for daily task lists. I have an app for larger scale lists and things that need to be done in general, but every day before I start working I sit down at my desk, pull off one of my big sticky notes, and write down a checklist of everything I need to do today (or, on the weekends, everything that needs doing before Monday). 

I break these tasks down to chunks that are palatable for me, ie right now I have one task that reads “300-400p Existence” aka my quick notation for having to read 100 pages of a novel for class, and another separate task that says “400-500p Existence” because seeing 300-500 would make it Too Big and my brain would throw a tantrum and not do it.

I also put down tasks that will literally take me three seconds, like checking to see if I have unexpected homework for a class that rarely has actual work to do, or replying to an email from someone. Any task that needs doing goes on the list.

(I do this for a couple reasons, actually. One is because if I don’t write it down, I won’t remember it and it won’t get done, but the more important reason is that the more items I see checked off, the more I’ve gotten done and the better my brain will cooperate because see? we’re being productive! and my brain responds with that sweet sweet dopamine.)

When I’m checking stuff off (and this is the important part) I don’t just put a checkmark and move on. At a quick glance, then, it looks like nothing is done, because the boxes are all still mostly empty. I completely fill in each box, and sometimes when it’s going really slow I liberally cross off every item as I finish them so I can’t see the words anymore at all so I know I did stuff. The easier it is to see and process how much I’ve done, the better.

(it’s also important that it’s a sticky note, as well, because regular pieces of paper are Extra Things that will get lost, sticky notes can move and stay with me if i have to go somewhere else to go print something, for example. I can just peel it off my desk, stick it on my laptop, and go)

Strategy 2: Storing and Collecting Tasks

so Charlie, you might ask, how the heck do you know what needs to be done each day? How do you remember these tasks to do? Well this strategy is actually thanks to Ryan, my guy in student disability services. He showed me this app that I’m about to show y’all to make your lives a million times easier.

but first, let me explain. When making my daily task sticky notes, there’s no way I’d be able to remember everything I have to do on the top of my head, right? So really when I first sit down I open my laptop, check on my phone real quick how many emails I need to respond to (but don’t respond yet) and open up my college’s online system Canvas to make sure I don’t have any new announcements, not checking anything else yet. Then I grab my phone and open up my shiny new app: IKE

its a productivity app based on the Eisenhower model of task orientation, splitting up tasks into four categories: Important and Urgent, Important but Not Urgent, Urgent but Not Important, and Not Important or Urgent. You can rename these categories as you choose (they choose to name them, in order, Focus, Goals, Fit In, and Backburner, but I’ve changed them to Do Now, Soonish, 5 Min Tasks, and kept Backburner, but you do you)

Now you can choose to completely forego the IKE model and just use it as four different lists of things, but IKE also has a solution for that which is different lists as well as different categories within these lists. So the four categories above apply to all the different lists, which it displays in a cute four square style that tells you how many tasks are there, but doesn’t tell you what they are until you open the category, and has a quick task adding feature where you drag a circle from the center of the four corners into whichever list you’re going for and make the task right then. But for the lists they’re all separate and can all be different colors depending on what they’re for, that’s all up to you.

Now how does this seemingly complex system work for you, Charlie, who’s brain has the max processing power of a four year old on speed most days? you may ask

well it actually makes it super easy to put everything in, and if I put a task in the wrong spot I can move it easily, plus I can add due dates if I want, or a million reminders at all times of day if I want, but the main deal is that it’s a holding place for everything I need to do. When writing my daily list, I check my Do Now category first in all my lists (I have one for Uni, one for my student org I run, and one for any extra tasks that need done) and write all those in. Then I go to the 5 Min Tasks category of only the Uni and Extra tasks lists and add those in, and then I’m good for the day and I can start it all

As for getting the tasks in there, I paid the extra one time 99cent charge to get the widget for my home screen on my phone, and whenever I hear someone ask me to do something, I shove the task in there. My mom asks me off handedly to do the dishes? I throw it in with a reminder every half hour until I complete it. Someone asks me to send some emails? throw them in the 5 min category and tell it to remind me when I get to my computer (because it can do that, too, location based reminders for when you arrive or leave somewhere, which is great for reminding myself to pick something up on my way home from uni)

Strategy 3: Accountability

I don’t live alone, I never have, so part of my strategy as well is to have people I live with hold me accountable. Not in like a “you’re my minder now, hover over my desk to make sure I work” kind of way, but in a way that I tell someone who will be around what I have to do that day in a casual way - me and my roommates used to run through everything after we were all home from class, me and my mom tell our days to each other each morning since we both have trouble keeping on task - then when someone sees me doing something not on my list they ask me about it, which reminds me of what I need to be doing.

for example, if I mention to my sister that I need to read, send emails, and write a paper today, then if she sees me watching tv or on my phone she’ll ask me what’s up, did I finish my shit yet? which then spurs my brain into “fuck, I got off track, time to jump back in” mode. 

If you live alone, the best way to do this is to make a post about being busy or texting someone that you have a lot of stuff to do, then if they see you on social media or if you get stuck in a conversation with them, they’ll call you out. 

ADHD brains need constant call outs because we can’t tell when we’ve gone off track and followed tangents because our brain just wants dopamine and doesn’t care where it comes from, so it won’t question it once it gets what it wants, whereever that comes from.

so - tl;dr I shove any task I get into an app (if you’re not an app person, just make notes on your phone or put it in your calendar or voice recordings or whatever works best for your brain that you’ll remember to check) and unload all the tasks onto a smaller more streamlined daily task list that I write and check off each day, and make sure there’s someone that knows what I’m not supposed to be doing so they’ll call me out when I get off task for too long.

Now go forth and get shit accomplished! I believe in you!

[whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk]

I have a lot of thoughts so I'm just gonna rant about them aimlessly

I have been empathizing with deliah from day 1 and giving her the benefit of the doubt but this episode? Now I officially dont like her. She had the nerve to come at Rome and regina for keeping a secret for A FUCKIN DAY and that single day was ROMES MOTHERS FUNERAL. Delilah is self centered and selfish and a shitty friend. Quit playing the fuckin victim and own up to your shit. For the love of fuck.

I hate the fact that they made regina "change her mind" I was soooo happy that FINALLY there was a woman on tv who didnt need a child to fulfill her life. But nope. Ofc not. She's still my favorite (okay I have like a handful of favorites whatever) the writers just fucked up on that one real bad.

Rome? Solid. Compelling. Fantastic. Everyone is talking to him as if he didnt have a suicide scare not too long ago and lost his mother last episode(so a couple days ago in the show?). If anyone goes off on delilah I want it to be him. One can dream. And Rome and regina as a couple? They cant catch a fckn break man. Putting out fires left and right. They might not have kids but they are the parents of their friend group and it shows.

Gary and Maggie well....part of me is like okay here we go more drama...but then again I think their storyline is very real and very complex. Maggie needs to find herself independently and that's valid. Gary knows what he wants. Shit happens. But gary picking up that lady at the bar? Yikes. It's very gary, yall remember when he fucked Ashley who fucked right off and left the country. But eric????? I knew she was gonna see him but that phone call? Color me intrigued. I feel like it's either option A: hes in love with maggie or option B: he doesnt actually have Chad's heart.

Eddie and katherine....are getting boring to me. I love katherine but I'm tired of Charlie being the sole plot for them. And I think its dumb on the writers to have theo witness Sophie's meltdown. What if that was an armed burglar?? You gonna take your son outside to watch? He had no business being outside. That was just dumb as fuck from a writing standpoint. Like they wanted theo to find out unexpectedly so they fit it in but it just makes no sense for him to witness that. This is like the only thing that I'm genuinely putting on the writers because the other things I'm pissed off about make sense within the show you know so it's like I'm getting into the story but for this one I'm just like...the writers had a stupid moment.

Sophie...was justified. We saw that coming. Shit was gonna pop off. But could you imagine if they waited until she was like 18? Homegirl wouldve never talked to her mom again. I say the sooner you tell them the sooner they can heal. Plus the longer you lie the worse it gets.

I almost wanted pj to be John's just so we could see more of him because hes so cute (not like that, like in the same way a puppy is cute) and the actor has really been killin it. But honestly I saw that plotline coming from the minute they went on the roof. But I feel like good storylines are ones that you can see coming because they make sense you know.

[luniellar]

Sorry Not Sorry - Chris Evans X Reader (One Shot)

Summary: Chris may be your boyfriend, but it sure doesn’t feel like so. You guys have been apart for months since he started his filming schedule again. Thankfully, Chris was finally coming back home tonight. A short fluffy and smutty one shot.

Warning: Smutty

Word Count: 2K

He was right. It was definitely colder now. I should have packed a “poofy” jacket.

Chris’ way of saying “poofy” as he pouted his lips together replayed in my head. What a dork.

I tucked my hands inside the pockets of my denim jacket and pressed my shoulders together to bundle up. The slim black work pants I was wearing provided minimal wind chill protection, but I forgot to do laundry last night and this was the only pair left. Unless I was planning to show up to a client meeting in jeans. I wasn't planning on losing my job anytime soon.

The sun was setting in the background and the sky was doing its magic again. Behind the historic building that towered the city, the pastel purple and pink hues splashed the late autumn sky. Every single purple and pink color was somewhere up there, even the ones that didn’t get a dorky crayola color named after it.

As I got to the steps of the apartment, my phone buzzed in the butt pocket. Darn it, my hands were just getting warmer.

“So sorry, but you are going to have to do dinner without me.”

With a soft sigh, I stuffed the phone with hands back in the tiny jacket pocket. The text clearly impacted my mood because I was annoyed at my stupid jacket pockets. Why did anyone even bother stitching a pocket if it was only going to fit a third of a normal human being’s hand?

“Just try to look at the bright side?” Chris’ voice echoed in my head.

Biting my lips, I ran through the positive scenarios of not having Chris around. No company for dinner meant that I could eat anything for dinner and get away with it. Thoughts of cinnamon toast crunch and frosted flakes ran through my mind as I seriously contemplated each option as I opened the front door of the apartment. The familiar, but faint scent of leftover morning coffee lingering hit my nose.

I dropped the keys on a small table by the door and dragged my body to the living room. I threw my work bag on the floor and immediately went over to the thermostat. Chris was going to kill me, but was it my fault that he was gifted with body heat and I wasn’t? I was always freezing and having Chris around was like having a personal space heater, but he hasn’t been around the past few months with all the filming he was getting back into. And, I was the master of guilt tripping him.

I grabbed my phone and texted back.

“I hate you, I miss my heater.”

I did. I really did.

I settled on frosted flakes for dinner because I was craving the cereal milk after a bowl of corn flakes. I also finished the last of the remaining oat milk in the fridge. You know how people say, TGIF? Well, in this case, thank god it’s Friday because our fridge needed restocking and I could finish that on the weekend.

When Chris wasn’t around, it was hard to find time to do anything. Without him, I resorted to what my life was like before he came into it. I resorted back to binge watching random Netflix documentaries and going to bed at 9pm. On days I felt extra adventurous, I would head out to the gym, but that was very rare. I rolled into the couch in the living room and laid there blankly staring at the plain ceiling.

Yesterday, I was hoping that around this time we would be getting take out for dinner and bet on who would orgasm first before the food arrived. Loser would have to wear their underwear to answer the delivery guy.

Last time we played, I gave him the best head ever and he lost before I even got fully undressed. But, he kept on arguing through the entire dinner how he purposefully lost because he didn’t need anyone seeing me in my underwear. Sure, Chris. Whatever you say.

I rolled to the side and faced empty TV screen. I thought I had turned the TV on, but I must have dreamt of doing that because I fell asleep after the last blink in the sweet memories of us.

“Y/N”

I eyes were too heavy to lift as I was still coming out of the sleep haze, but I knew that voice. My heart was already thumping, it recognized it too.

“Babe,” he whispered. This time his warm breath tickled my ears. His lips pressed against my forehead and I groaned.

“I hate you,” I muttered and rolled over to the otherside. My eyes were still pressed closed and I sure as hell was not going to wake up to greet him with happy arms. In my mind, he was a traitor.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He was always the first to apologize.

This was one thing I personally loved about him the most. Even in the worst of the fights, even when I knew I was in the wrong, he was the level-headed being who had the mental stability to pause and apologize. Sometimes, I just want to fight and crush everything we built together, but he would never allow that. I don’t know what I would do if one day he didn’t apologize. I would take that as his way of breaking up.

I didn’t answer him back and I heard some rustling behind me. Chris let out a soft grunt as I heard his body touch the carpet. His hand ran through my hair softly. I opened my eyes, but I kept my eyes forward. The living room was pitch dark and the only source of light was the moonlight that came in through the apartment balcony glass doors.

“I missed you,” he said softly still playing with my hair.

“I didn’t,” I replied, trying to sound cold as possible.

I heard him chuckle and the familiar sound instantly warmed up my heart. “Huh, I definitely have a text here somewhere about how you miss me.”

“Chris! How dare you use that-” I ragingly turned around and met his sapphire blue eyes that still glowed in the darkness. I forgot the rest of my raging sentence.

He smiled and moved his hand to caress my face. “There she is.”

I looked at him completely speechless. He was wearing a baseball cap that framed his face perfectly. The moonlight hit his high cheekbones and the square jawline that I loved kissing was glowing and mocking me. His long eyelashes that were too good to be real on a human tore my heart apart and pieced it back together again. I had to fight the urge to grab on to his face and press mine against it.

“She’s mad at you,” I managed to get out with all the thoughts screaming inside my head.

“She still loves me.” He replied like how someone would answer “yes” to the question if the Earth was round.

“She does not,” I lied.

“She does.” There it was again.

“Actually, she wants to go back to sleep. That way, she doesn’t have to look at your face.”

His smile turned into a full grin. “You are so fucking cute when you are lying.”

I felt my cheeks growing hotter. No, Y/N. Chris is the enemy. Remember, Chris is the enemy. I pressed my lips together and narrowed my eyes at him.

“I want to kiss you,” he whispered like we were playing footsie underneath the Thanksgiving dinner table.

I couldn’t resist that.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head forward and felt his soft lips against mine. When our mouths opened, I tasted coffee in his breath. Hey, I needed the caffeine kick. Even though I was positive it didn’t work like that. My tongue found his and playfully teased around it. When he pulled away first, I was a tiny bit upset. Okay, I was very upset, but I sure wasn’t going to show him that.

He clearly saw the discontent on face and smiled a sly smile. “God, I missed your taste.”

“I missed yours more,” I argued.

His eyebrows arched at my desperate thirst response. “You know what else I missed the taste of?”

Then, his eyes shifted across the couch. His eyes looked in the direction of my legs, more specifically, the space between them. He slowly got up from the carpet and sat on the edge of the couch. He slipped his hand into my plain boybrief pjs and his finger grazed my cotton underwear. I already knew I was soaking wet just an inch lower from where his hand rested.

Keeping his eyes glued on mine, he slowly moved his fingers until I felt the warmth of his hand through my cotton underwear. I let out a soft moan from my throat that I couldn’t even control. This wasn’t fair. I wanted him so much.

I reached out a hand to grab a hold of his forearm. Underneath my grip, I felt the tensing of his individual muscle fibers against my skin, twitching and fighting the urge to rip off my underwear.

“Hey,” he spoke and his velvet voice echoed around the empty walls of our tastefully decorated minimalistic apartment.

“Yeah,” I replied with as my mind was going crazy about the fact that he was really trying to tease me.

“How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop?”

There was a strange moment of silence before we both erupted into laughter. Our happy sounds were echoing around the entire floor. Other than the fact that this might have been the worst “let’s have sexy time” comment he said, I treasured moments like this. These were the times that lingered around my memories for a long, long time.

I got up from the couch and tore his hand away. “Okay, Mr. Evans. You definitely hit an all time low with that comment. It really sucks out all the intimacy.”

He moved his body closer to mine and kissed my cheek. “Ironic, it was supposed to get me sucking your pussy.”

The way he said pussy sent chills down my spine. I was getting ready to jump on him any moment now. “I mean technically… you can still do that,” I replied, nonchalantly.

He smiled and pressed his lips against mine. Our lips went at each other like we were in high school again trying to show off who was the better kisser. It was sloppy, wet, messy, and a lot of biting. It was still perfect. By the time he pulled away, we were both panting to catch our breaths. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and planted a sweet peck on my neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he already knew the cue. His arms dug underneath my back and knees. He effortlessly got up from the couch, holding me close to his chest.

I looked up at him speechless as he casually walked me through the hallways and kicked the bedroom door open. It was dark here too, minus the moonlight filtering through our bedroom window placed on either sides of the bed. He walked over to our California king bed and gently placed me down.

I bit my lip as he stood by the edge of his bed. He dropped his cap first, revealing a messy bed of hair underneath. In one quick motion, he pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the floor. His pale skin glowed. The moonlight reflected off his broad shoulders and firm chest.

My heart wouldn’t shut up.

His body snaked over time and pinned me down between his legs. Each hand tightly gripped my wrists. The heat from his body was pouring down mine. He arched his neck and placed a kiss on my forehead. Then, he moved over to the tip of my nose, my lips, my chin, and then down on my neck. His warm breath tickled me.

“I’m sorry for being late,” he paused.

“But, I’m not apologizing for how I’m going to ruin you tonight.”

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck season 2, episode 10 reaction

Done with S2! Thanks to all the translators who make the clips, texts, and social media content accessible to everyone. It’s so much work to do and the Druck translators do a terrific job.

As much as I love going into Matteo’s POV, I’m going to miss Mia’s a lot. This season definitely surpassed my expectations overall.

Episode 10

Clip 1 - Slumber party

The girl crew is having a sleepover and keeping warm in Mia’s bed in their PJs. They talk about how great last summer was, which we unfortunately did not get to see. So Druck should definitely squeeze in an Amira season so we can see the summer before they graduate, eh? Ehhh???

Mia gets a text, but it’s from her mom, not Alex. Kiki says she doesn’t think Björn sent Alex the pictures or else he would’ve texted her already. Or, as Sam points out, he would’ve pushed Björn in front of a train. That option seems quite likely, to be honest. The girls are proud of Mia for standing up to Björn. 

Mia says she needs to talk to Alex about it because it would be worse if he found out through someone else. Kiki gives Mia a hug and says they’ll protect her, and Sam says they beat up people for Hanna, so they’ll beat them up for Mia, too. Hell yeah. Björn needs an ass-kicking far more than Toilet Sam’s girlfriend did.

Down with pacifism! Sam punches a pillow and says down with all men! I’m sad that this is all we get of the sleepover scene that was shown briefly in those ending credits at the beginning of the season, but at least what we did see is cute.

Clip 2 - Talk to each other!!

At school, Mia seems so distracted looking for Alex that some guy knocks into her. She finds Alex at his locker. He seems pissed. PLEASE GOD don’t let it be for Björn-related reasons, let him be better than that. He can’t believe Björn. Please.

Well, he did see the pictures. And he doesn’t get it. Were they for revenge? So he thinks she went out with Björn just to hurt him.

Mia grabs him as he tries to walk away, saying it’s not what he thinks it is, and they need to talk. He says he can’t and has a test now, Mia says tomorrow, and he reluctantly nods. It’s like the conversation that was supposed to happen last week, but didn’t because Björn happened. Mia stares after him. We hear other people’s happy, careless conversations as Mia’s whole world is unraveling. 

Well, she didn’t tell him it was rape/assault yet, so that still puts him above William - it’s one thing to think she’s consensually hooking up with Björn to hurt him, another to not believe her about being assaulted. And he didn’t leave her crying on the ground. It all depends how he reacts tomorrow.

Clip 3 - Fucking Björn keeps ruining things and he’s not even in the episode

After school, when most students are leaving, it’s time for Mia and Alex to talk. He’s looking out the window. She asks about what really happened with him and Björn.

He calls his parents emotionally stunted (slur according to the translations - not sure if it has the same connotations or intensity in German but :/ at its use) and it was hard for Sophie. Her depression got worse when Alex was like 12-13; she was institutionalized twice and went to three therapists until she found one she liked. She was OK after that, until she met Björn. 

We see some flashbacks of Sophie and Alex hanging out in the pool as Alex talks about their close relationship, and then Sophie drifts from Alex to go smooch Björn. Alex was cool with him at first (we see them friendly in the pool) until it became clear Björn made Sophie cry (in the pool we see Alex and Björn rough-housing and play-fighting - innocent this time, but representative of how later it would escalate to actual fighting because of Sophie; notice that Sophie herself drifts out of the footage and isn’t visible except for her legs, like they’re fighting even when she’s gone). Björn tried to emotionally turn Sophie against both her parents and Alex, which is a textbook sign of an abuser, separating the victim from friends and family (in the flashbacks we see Björn holding Sophie close, like he’s trying to have her all to himself). 

Björn also convinced Sophie to stop going to her therapist because he thought the therapist hated him, and threatened to break up with her if she didn’t. Which is also textbook abuse/manipulation. And frankly Björn thinking the therapist hated him could be paranoia, it’s likely, but it’s also possible the therapist legitimately didn’t like him based on what Sophie was saying in therapy and so didn’t encourage Sophie to stay in that relationship. So Sophie’s depression got worse after that, and then that annoyed Björn and he started disappearing and going to clubs for days at a time. I didn’t know I could hate this motherfucker even more.

Sophie barely texted Alexander (he’s crying as he tells this now), she started getting into drugs (not just weed as Björn had told Mia) and it was even worse because she had manic episodes. This whole story is so sad. I do have to give props to Druck because the way they’re laying this out seems so realistic in terms of emotional abuse. 

Alexander spins the ring on his finger. Is that a family ring? I don’t remember if we learned anything about it. Maybe Sophie gave it to him.

Alexander’s family didn’t hear from Sophie for a while until the German embassy called them (not Björn). God, so did Björn run off when Sophie died? I can imagine him doing that, not wanting to take any responsibility. They only saw him again at the funeral, where he claimed in front of everyone that Sophie would still be alive if she had abandoned the family sooner, and Alex lost it and said he’d beat him to death if he came near the family again, Björn ran off. You know, this makes me wonder what the hell Björn was doing trying to get into Alex’s apartment those times. Was he getting a thrill out of just being there and sticking it to Alex? Or was he there to steal stuff or mess with Alex’s things? 

Alexander says he had the worst year of his life until Mia yelled at him in the courtyard. I guess Mia saw right through his bullshit and that brought him back to Earth. Mia grabs his hand.

Alexander is upset that the guy who ruined his life also assaulted Mia. THANK GOD he’s upset that Mia was assaulted, that his anger is directed toward Björn and not at her. Bravo, Alexander, I know it was a low bar but I’m glad you didn’t leave Mia crying on the floor. And bravo, Druck, for taking out that part. It’s hard for Alex not to do anything about it, but Mia says he mustn’t, Björn did it to her and she wants to sort it out

Mia went to the police and Alex is like, “Do you think that will sort anything?” and she points out that beating him up again won’t help, either. True! As much as I wouldn’t mind seeing it. Not worth it for Alexander to go to jail over that scum, don’t let Björn ruin his life further.

Alex reported himself to the police, so they’re going to investigate and interview the victim. Ugh, I don’t want Björn’s sob story full of lies to get Alex in trouble, but it’s the right thing to do, and Alexander chose to do it, so that says a lot about his character.

Alexander is packing up to go, Mia wants to know about their relationship. Alex says he’s going to London after graduation. I like how they’ve positioned him so far away already; he’s far from Mia, in the doorway ready to leave, just like him going to London. He says that this thing between them hasn’t worked from the start. Mia is upset and teary as he tries to go, and tries to get him to stay by saying he’s being an asshole, but he says that’s it. Wow, so they’re really gonna string us along until the end, huh. Imagine if the one version of Noorhelm that I like is the one that broke up for good. 

Mia walks out of the room, through the hall, through the shadows, crying. GOD, CAN NICE THINGS HAPPEN TO MIA ALREADY. I feel like she gets a good day or two at most and then more shit gets flung at her.

Super apropos song lyrics at the end of the clip: “You told me to let go and all I can do is try/I'm running in circles, tired of keeping my head high/You told me to bury my feelings dead I'm alright/Oh, acting my whole life now I am losing this fight” Poor Mia is trying desperately to keep Alex but it’s getting nowhere and he’s telling her it’s over.

Clip 4 - Hanna and Jonas?

Hanna and Mia walk along talking, Hanna asks if it’s over, Mia is on the brink of tears again. It really gets me in the heart how Mia just has to cut off the subject because it’s too painful and she gets choked up so quickly. She asks about Hanna. Jonas has blocked Hanna on Insta for going to Sam’s party … dude, Jonas, get your shit together. Mia says he has no right to tell her what to do. Damn straight.

And Mia says they need to stop talking about guys all the time, they wouldn’t even pass the Bechdel test. LMAO. I’m pretty sure that Druck would pass the Bechdel test? Like Mia and Kiki talking about Kiki’s eating and fitness issues would qualify, for a start? Although standards might be different in a season-long TV show than a movie. But I do also see the irony in like ... this being a TV show where the characters’ choice of conversation topics are dictated by the writers, so Druck could have the girls stop talking about dudes whenever they want.

Also, the Bechdel test was created by a lesbian, and was specifically meant to represent a lesbian experience before the test gained a more widespread usage, so people who are unsatisfied with Druck’s handling of wlw may not enjoy this line - the de-gaying of the Bechdel test might ring too close to Druck dancing away from Mia’s sexuality.

Anyway, Mia doesn’t want to be asked about Alex anymore, so Hanna asks how she did in German, and is astonished that Mia does so well and gets good grades despite dealing with stress. Mia does this adorable hair flip of confidence.

Mia walks off, and HOLY SHIT we switch to Jonas?? And Hanna?? So that shot of Mia walking away wasn’t just random, it was ~symbolic and representing a transition of POV. I do wish we had gotten this scene after Mia and Alex got more of a conclusion to their story; it’d seem more fitting for tying up loose ends. Because I’m still like MIA’S SEASON AIN’T OVER.

Of course that mysterious person who talks to Jonas turned out to be Gereven. I love that he got the name Beanie Boy. Honestly I really love that fandom was like EVEN???? after this one brief appearance. Skam fandom goes hard with their detective skills. (Was he lending Jonas his notes so Jonas could catch up? So thoughtful.)

Hanna sits down across from Jonas and asks about a bad grade he got. It turns out that Jonas got a 0 in three subjects, and at least one of them was for an unexcused absence. Hanna is concerned. I am too. Jonas is a mess. It’s been this way all season but at some point you have to be like, dude, either get over it or get help. If Hanna is the root cause of his pain, he has to let her go (much as I root for Janna and Honas) but if it’s something more, like this guy is depressed, not to mention his substance abuse, then he needs to talk to a therapist.

Hanna wants to talk, Jonas has some work to finish, so she just grabs his pencil and finishes for him. He’s like … is that right? She nods. He jokes that it’s good she doesn’t crib from him anymore. I’m really glad Hanna has been keeping her shit together, it seems, but damn, it’s depressing that we just swung the messiness around to Jonas.

She says that she’s noticed he’s not doing well, and she somehow feels responsible. Jonas points out that she’s not. Hanna says Matteo has noticed that he’s not well, too, and that he says Jonas has locked him out. Jonas says Matteo needs a girlfriend so he can stop getting on his nerves. LMAO. Oh, Jonas. You really are a mess if you’ve missed Matteo’s big puppy eyes. But you know, the utter irony of that quote in a clip where they introduce Matteo’s future love interest, who is very much not a girlfriend.

Hanna says Jonas blocked her on Instagram. Yeah, Jonas, the hell is that about? Jonas says so it’s so he doesn’t have to see more of Hanna and Sam. Lol, she had like one picture of her and Sam. Hanna says there’s nothing happening with them. Honestly, I guess Jonas has to do what he needs to do to stop wallowing in his misery, and that might mean blocking Hanna on IG (although I think it’s extreme) but at the same time, it doesn’t seem to have done him any good. 

Hanna says she wants to be friends with him, but that’s not possible, is it? Jonas doesn’t say anything but you can tell from his face that she’s right. Before Hanna turns around, he says the equation doesn’t make any sense, and she says it’d be great if it was. Jonas says he was impressed for a minute. OH KIDS. If only the equation WAS RIGHT. And by equation I mean YOU TWO. Get your stuff together!!!!

Clip 5 - Follow your heart

The girl and boy crews are smoking hookah. Mia’s the only one not there. The girls talk about Mia and it feels like they’re the audience surrogates with their range of opinions, lol. What Alex did was fucked up (Hanna) vs. yes but it was understandable (Amira). Hanna thinking Mia deserves a nicer guy, Sam thinking that no matter what happened in the past, Mia and Alex love each other and it sucks it didn’t work out, Kiki just wanting Mia to be happy. The prevailing opinion seems to be that they want Mia to be happy, awwww. And I’m really glad their priorities are Mia’s happiness rather than them just coming across as in-universe Winterberg shippers no matter Mia’s feelings.

Goes without saying but Kiki looks cute with her glasses. All the girls look great, Hanna is rocking that red lipstick.

Amira is just like, all men suck, we don’t even have a choice. Kiki points out that Mia has a choice. I mean, who knows, maybe that girl Mia dated before was just a huge mess herself. Sam says women suck, too, and Amira is like no, women don’t rape, objectify, and marginalize men systematically. My soul ascended when I heard Amira say that. I love her, we’ve got to get season 4 somehow. Make it happen!!!!

Lmao, Hanna’s example of a bad woman is Bellatrix Lestrange, interesting that she went fictional! I would volunteer Umbridge as an example myself.

But Hanna points out there are nice guys, too, and Amira points out that guys like Jonas are the worst. At least guys like Alexander don’t pretend they’re not macho. Oh SHIT I got chills hearing this. Jonas is the sensitive hipster guy who thinks he’s woke, but is capable of as much sexism as any other dude. And as Amira points out, Jonas treated Hanna like crap when they were together, and now he acts all controlling. DAMN. CHILLS. I say this as someone who loves German Jonas, and who really loves Jonas and Hanna’s chemistry together: Amira isn’t wrong. Jonas was far from the perfect boyfriend, and in this season he’s been a pain in the ass, trying to manipulate her. I love that Amira lays it out and I think maybe it clicked something for Hanna, something that she already knew, but maybe she just needed Amira’s blunt POV.

Sam says it’s no good to hate all men, and Amira says no, we have to accept some men. Still, I really liked how this conversation didn’t try to soften its feminism? It’s not about man-hating, it’s about being able to acknowledge systemic misogyny honestly.

The girls again assert they are Team Mia above everything, and it’s a nice touch that it’s Kiki leading the charge, after all their drama this season. 

Mia is at home, sad over Alex. She smells his hoodie and looks at herself in the mirror, then over at her slogan: “follow your heart but take your brain with you.” But the way it’s shot, Mia’s head blocks the rest of the quote so it’s just “follow your heart” - a little on the nose, but still a good way to tie that motto back to her character arc. So she puts on her shoes and coat and heads out.

Back with the squads, it’s Sam’s birthday, so they sing to her and she blows out the candle on her cake. The girls ask what she wished for and Sam tells them, no secrets in the crew. She wants a boyfriend. Well, for her sake I hope she gets one? She deserves better than Manfred the middle-aged racial fetishist farmer. Lol, I think it would’ve been fun to see Sam with an age-appropriate version of Kasper, although I can see why the cabin trip ended up having much more drama than just Ouija board shenanigans. Would’ve maybe felt weird to have an actual guy there for some reason. 

Amira gets a text and has to leave, but Sam snatches her phone and the girls see that she works as a delivery girl. Hanna makes a comment that she thought Amira was secretly married - innocent joke or microaggression about Muslim girls getting married off young? They want to know why Amira didn’t tell them, and Amira explains that her brothers can never know because they’ll tell her parents, and her parents, who are doctors, think it’s beneath them for their daughter to be a delivery girl. Man, you can’t drop this on us and not give us a season 4. That’s such an insight into Amira’s relationship with her brothers (including German Elias??) and her parents and their background. It makes sense why she has to save money to go to Australia and her parents don’t approve, they probably think she should stick to studying. I feel like you could dig so much into this material in her season. 

Who will Sam hook up with tonight? She notes that Matteo is quite cute. Matteo certainly is quite cute, sitting there uncomfortably as Sara talks to him. Hanna, sensing disaster, tries to shut that shit down, but turns out she didn’t need to because two seconds later Matteo is making out with Sara! NOOOO, MATTEO. We almost dodged this S2 attempt at heterosexuality! We were near the finish line! At least we consolidated Sara and Emma into one person, so he only has one girl to kiss miserably, not two?

Mia waits for Alexander at the skate park with what looks like cocoa? Chocolate milk? Anyway, nice callback to the other times Alexander showed up with beverages. He comes outside and it’s awkward, but he accepts her drink. They talk about London and she asks why they can’t just be in a long-distance relationship, and he says for that they’d have to be in a relationship. OUCH. Fucking cold, dude.

The closeups of Mia and Alexander position each of them closer to the side of the frame, like she’s to the right and he’s to the left, and it’s a little jarring going back and forth, which is similar to that one confrontation in the first episode (I can’t remember if they used this effect in any other scenes). Makes you feel more of the tension, makes your eyes keep darting from side to side. Nice way to call back toward the beginning. This is a confrontation, too, except back then Mia wanted Alex to leave Kiki alone and get the fuck out of all their lives, and here it’s Mia who wants him to stay and Alex who’s trying to go.

Mia forbids Alex to leave. She’s trying to say it firmly but you can see how scared and unsure she is. Alex points out how it hasn’t worked, they fight and she doesn’t trust him, and that’s when Mia’s gotta put her drink down and go off on him, detailing all the drama and lies of their relationship from the beginning to present. After all that bullshit he pulled, she still wants to be with him, but it’s him who thinks it’s too exhausting to be together. She points out that yeah, it will be exhausting, but, as she reminds him, he said he fell in love with her because she knew who he was right from the start, and that’s why she knows he hurts other to protect himself. Mia says he doesn’t have to do that with her, she’s not leaving, she’s here. And I love that callback to his anxiety attack, she’s reminding him that she stayed before and she’ll stay again.

Mia pulls in Alex and like half-hugs him, it’s stiff at first but Mia doesn’t back off, and he finally gives in. When she pulls back she basically dares him to tell her he doesn’t love her, but of course he says he loves her, and she loves him too. It’s nice that he seems genuinely emotional and even choked up about it, he asks her to say it like he needs to hear it to believe it. And I like that he’s in shadow and a little subdued, while she’s in the light and is just glowing with happiness. The little whisper of “I love you” in his ear is the sweetest thing.

Mia and Alex kiss. Cut back to the party where Carlos and Kiki kiss, Matteo and Sara kiss (NOOOOO), and Abdi and Sam kiss. Three smooching couples in a row, blissfully oblivious to each other. (Well. Two out of three are blissful. Matteo ain’t having a good time.)

LMAO we cut to Hanna, Jonas, and Leonie at a table together, with Jonas in the middle (just like their love triangle!) and Leonie being like … OK. They giggle. This is hands-down one of my favorite shots on Druck, what a good moment.

Mia and Alex continue to kiss and we go from closeups to moving away from them, letting them have their happy ending. and moving away to follow another person’s story. I do wish we could’ve gotten Alex and Mia together for good earlier, with more downtime to enjoy them together at the end, but they did get together and that was a really lovely reunion. 

Druck cast dance party! Truly the best season finale tradition.

Social Media/General Comments:

I feel a little deprived of that sleepover content since they were teasing us at the beginning of the season, but at least there was some SM to show us what the girls were up to. Kiki’s stretchiness was demonstrated once more, and Hanna forgot her toothbrush - seems IC.

Carmen was also a guest at the sleepover, though I don’t know if it was original Carmen or Carmen 2.0. Mia and Kiki cuddle up to Carmen, and then there is a picture documenting exactly what I was thinking, which is Kiki realizing exactly where Carmen has been...

The boy squad plays basketball. They all seem to be terrible. Jonas is absent and the boys comment on it, so he was probably off wallowing/drinking/getting high.

It’s nice that Hanna and Matteo are on pretty close terms, although much of their conversation seems to be concern for Jonas.

Sam made a post about dressing up for motto week, suggesting everyone dress up as her, but telling people not to do blackface. She gives a breakdown and history of blackface that explains why you should not do it. I’m really glad to see more educational content for youth like this. It’s a pretty concise but clear explanation of the racism behind blackface, and it’s something all non-black teens should definitely hear.

On that note, Amira did a Q&A session about Islam to clear up misconceptions people have. Very nice to have this done by a Muslim actress (I think Iman Meskini has done stuff like this on her IG), and I wonder if she improvised these answers? I feel like a lot of the SM content is improv. Anyway, of note: someone asked if she would date a non-Muslim and she said that her religion is a part of her and a non-Muslim wouldn’t be able to participate with her in a big part of her daily life, so he wouldn’t really fit. But it’s a difficult question. HMMMMM. I don’t want to get my hopes up buuuuut this would certainly be a question to explore in depth, don’t you think? Like in an Amira-focused season?

Also, people have a lot of weird assumptions about hijab, things like wondering if Amira is bald underneath (???) or if she showers with it on (???) with Amira having to clarify that she hasn’t stopped showering since wearing hijab (???) But then again we saw Kiki think the same thing earlier this season sooooooooo.

Hanna documents her struggles with school. Oh, Hanna, I was so excited in that brief moment where you solved that equation for Jonas! Alas.

Carlos and Kiki eat cheesecake and I’m very happy to see Kiki eating and enjoying herself. Carlos seems very good for her, but I don’t think it’s just Carlos who’s made her happier, I think the therapy helps, and I think her self-image is just better overall. I mean, Carlos doesn’t like her glasses (poor taste!!) but she likes the way they look and she’s not feeling the need to change them because of a man’s opinion.

Hans didn’t go to Sam’s birthday party because he was nursing a broken heart. Michi dumped him. Hans, all due respect, I cannot say I blame him. Bye, Michi! Hope you find true love!

Linn had to stay home to take care of Hans, LMAO, I’m just imagining Hans crying and moaning on the couch and Linn sitting beside him staring at the TV and eating chips while occasionally patting Hans on the head.

Stuff that was missing from this season that was present in S2: Matteo being rescued by Hans, Jamilla, Kasper (well, Manfred half-counts). Probably more, aside from things that were changed or combined, but those are some things that stick out. I don’t think Jamilla will factor in at all if by a miracle we get Amira’s season, and if Sam gets a boyfriend it won’t be Kasper.

This is my favorite season of a Skam remake so far.

There have been some really good S1 remakes. But the thing is, I didn’t need a good S1 remake, necessarily. Because I already think Eva’s season is great as it is. It’s my second favorite after S3. So the great Eva remake seasons are certainly welcome, but I didn’t have this desire for a remake to come along and fix what I didn’t like about her season. 

But I did have that need for a good S2 remake. Me and Skam S2 don’t quite get along. There are multiple problems I have, mostly revolving around William’s character. I felt like his character never really evolved to the point where I could root for him and Noora, I never felt like he actually regretted most of his bad behavior, and I still felt like I didn’t know who this person was by the end of this season. Who was William other than a sad backstory and a collection of bad boy tropes? We knew nothing about his hobbies or interests. Then there was the dynamic between him and Noora, which had some extremely troubling parts, and which diluted the impact of the sexual assault storyline - William’s behavior was manipulative and didn’t respect Noora’s agency, and his treatment of Noora after she tells him she was raped - shutting her out for days when she begs for him to speak to her - was so appalling that I could never ever forgive him. Additionally, there were issues with the pacing, with certain plot points feeling more out of a CW show than fitting Skam’s realism. So I really, really wanted at least one of the remakes to fix the big problems with S2. 

Is Druck S2 perfect? No, not like I’d say Skam S3 is perfect. Druck didn’t fix all the problems I had with William, and Alexander still had some things that were never addressed to my satisfaction (mostly Kiki-related, or the lesbian comments). They could have done a better job with Mia’s bisexuality. I think the sexual assault storyline was a little rushed, and they should’ve gotten Mia and Alex their happy ending prior to the very last clip - it would’ve been satisfying with some space to see them as a couple at the end, and the transition to Hanna and Jonas drama mid-week would’ve been better if Mia and Alex were more or less wrapped up. However, this still was a big success as a season for me. 

What’s especially remarkable is that Mia was a weaker part of S1 for me - not to a huge degree, just that in the beginning I wasn’t quite sold on her. And Alexander was my least favorite William of the first four remakes that aired (Druck, France, Italia, and Austin). There just didn’t seem to be much charm to him. But I grew to love Mia - she has elements of Noora while still feeling like her own character, someone who had clear flaws and made big mistakes, but was still someone I rooted for the entire time. Alexander? ... He won me over. I never thought that he would be the William to do so, lol. Again, he still has some big flaws that weren’t really addressed as much as I wanted, but they improved so much on William. Alexander has a personality, he has clear hobbies and interests, he has a sense of humor. His sad backstory affected him in tangible ways on screen, not just as an excuse for his distant personality. I have to give the actors a lot of credit because they were a huge part of what worked about this season. 

And I like Winterberg. Dare I say it, I ship Winterberg. Who knew? They’re charming on screen together, I get why they like each other other than physical attraction, they had a lot of scenes where they were just hanging out and bonding that gave you a sense of who they were as a couple. And even with the things that bugged me, I did feel like I wanted them together at the end - I felt like they did bring out some very positive aspects of each other, they understood each other, and that their relationship would continue to improve as time went on.

I love that they mixed the Yakuza fight and Niko plots together, which made the season feel more streamlined and tight. I loved that the talk between Amira and Mia about Alexander fixed a lot of what bothered me about the original scene. I loved the development of Mia and Kiki’s relationship. And there were also just a lot of small things I loved, character moments, humorous beats. I loved the casual talk about therapy. I loved that the Druck crew obviously listened to feedback from the first season. I loved that they stepped up their social media game. I’m just really impressed with this season.

I am not German so feel free to clarify or correct me on cultural stuff and translations.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[marsixm]

edit sorry this post is both long (if the readmore fails i am truly truly sorry) & longwinded im just reflecting and thinking; (another edit: u can probably just read the tl dr and get it)

anyway allow me to spin some very personally based theory here for a mo while i put off/warm my fingers up from the cold in preparation to email my therapist

so growing up i had, i think only, het ships, but i never quite had the ones you were (narratively speaking) “supposed to” have

in most media i recall when i was a kid, there were like, 2 diff structures of character romance plot arcs in media i consumed, there was the main lead and 2 best friends model, where thered be the star of the show who had outside romantic leads and the 2 best friends (who were always a boy and a girl) would have their secondary romance, OR there were ensemble shows where there was a more clear romance set up between the main boy and main girl, then side characters whod pair off in whatever ways ended up happening. in the first, see: hannah montana, the second, see: zoey 101. obv this isnt a hard rule and there were loads of exceptions but like, lets just say i tended not to care for the romances set up for the main girls in the trio models, or quite as hard for the main boy and girl in the ensembles, and in general if there was an obvious romance between two leads i either didnt care or outright hated it

basically i never liked the ships they set up for us in straight media, as a kid (namely, a girl) i liked being that “ew pink!” “i hate valentines day” sort of contrarian, but what i remember actually disliking was the predictability of it, because i clearly still shipped characters, so it wasnt /really/ that i hated romance, per se

looking back on it i think it was probably or at least to a degree more like that i hated the hetero expectation of it- i can nit pick down to more specific examples of why i disliked the main pairings (kataang, for example, i thought was weird bc katara acted like a mother/older sister figure to aang, and i didnt feel like there was romance between them at all except where it felt shoehorned in) - maybe it was also that i thought it made more sense for a main character to be with someone they clearly already spent a lot of time with and not some random new hot boy in town (i very distinctly remember shipping miley and oliver on hannah montana, and i believe that was the first time i ever read fanfiction @ age like... 11 lol) as is often the case w like these things.

theres another level to this though, which is that i notice i tended to ship characters who were more vaguely similar to each other, like, physically (ie, similar heights, or hair colors mainly) obviously this is funny now since my main pairing is johnlock which is such a physically different ship we can construct them from basic shapes and colors and theyre still recognizable as who they are, but i have some thoughts about this- but i think there might be two interesting things about this again in retrospect

first of all, this sounds silly ik, but shipping the vaguely similar ones as a child’s way of queering heterosexuality is an interesting concept and not that difficult, like, two boys are also vaguely similar to each other in a similar way a boy and a girl with the same hair color and height might be, which is something i thought of a while ago

the other way in which this is really interesting to me now, that i think might have been more actually pertinent to myself as a trans child, is that i think i shipped the characters i did in an attempt to morph the concept of boy and girl? to find the boy counterpart to every girl??? that second one makes more sense actually. anyway, i digress

2 start off i definitely had gender feelings starting from a very young age so i think these observations ring more true than just reflections, PERHAPS

so the first thing i remember shipping, ie wanting them to be together, thinking about it an inordinate amount of time outside watching the films, even imagining them eating ice cream together in their pjs (i was NINE DHFJGghfkg) was jack sparrow & elizabeth swan from potc (basically my franchise of choice as a kid bc i never read harry potter) now this doesnt quite fit the “visually similar” thing bc actually orlando bloom looks more like kiera knightly and is prob due to them like making out in one movie, but i think this works for the “shipping as gender expression” theory, because elizabeth swan dressed up as a boy, spent most of that movie wearing boy’s clothes, etc- meanwhile jack was a wacky pirate which like hello duh i’d want to be. so i wonder if beyond the fact that they kissed and flirted, there was something to this concept of me wanting two characters to be together, meant i wanted to marry together two conceptual things happening with two characters, or absorb the cool dude and the boyish girl characters into each other to make one whole archetype for myself? i likewise shipped aang and toph (toph who, normally doesnt really have anyone to be shipped with, since she likes sokka but he has a gf) who we all know is the VERY boyish girl character, so boyish im p sure her actually being a trans dude later in life is a p decently accepted headcanon (i dont actually delve into aatla fandom though so i can only hope) 

another thing about this ship thing, is most of my ships had brown hair (like miley and oliver), just like i always have, and in certain cases the girl character would look a LOT like me (i also shipped logan and quinn on zoey 101, which to my surprise n delight actually came true later (although looking back im like... 11 yr old me is glad they made out a lot but adult me is like uhhh why were the kids on this show making out a lot? anyway thats another issue) and i def was a weirdo girl with glasses and long brown wavy hair) which sort of further fuels my feeling that this was an attempt by my brain to do 1 of 2 things, if my own involvement really was a greater motivating factor in this thing, 1. ship MYSELF with a boy (which is like def possible for my gay kinnie ass, but not quite my thesis here) or 2. morph these boy and girl counterparts by imagining them together, seeing them together, etc

for example, i realize now, when i was a kid i drew an avatar sona for myself and said sona looked an awful lot like how id imagine a katara/zuko fusion would be, and the fact that i shipped zutara (very hard lol) was what lead me down this thought path rn

i feel like even to me this concept sounds weird and far fetched but like, gem fusion made enough sense for someone to write with its clearly, usually, romantic implications and we all “get” that, so whom knows???

another thing ive noticed while writing this is for a good few of these ships you can argue the boys in them can be read gay, like jack sparrow and zuko and aang, which feels even more strongly like me trying to marry my gay boy feelings to my tomboy realities [thinking emoji]

the biggest reason i think this makes sense to me is because when i was 10 i became obsessed with the idea that this boy i was friends with and i were secretly twins separated at birth, like i was so into the concept that we looked alike, i like hoped and wished so hard for it to be true, i wished a christmas miracle would happen for fucking real and a magic door in my house would open and be his new room and itd all work out perfectly! and you might think this was a manifestation of my difficulties with my family and wishing to leave it, but in my dream world my parents were still my parents and he came to live with us- which makes me think the obsession of ME looking like this BOY was a manifestation of my gender feelings, which i think can maybe be traced to this concept of pairing a visually similar, possibly gay, brunette boy to every brunette and/or tomboyish girl

anyway. if you actually read all of this id love it if you lmk somehow (doesnt need to be a like) like this is clearly very long and strange but i hope it makes sense. i think i stop myself a lot from ever commenting on gender or theory or whatever but i am a living breathing trans person who has experienced things and i have opinions and i dont think im claiming anything destructive with this lol i think its not unusual to reflect on the way you interacted with the world as a gay/trans kid

also im obviously not saying that shipping straight things is somehow inherently queer, im not trying to retroactively claim something about straight ships, like, those two characters are still functionally straight, and i definitely also shipped probably all of them for normal shipping reasons (although, kid ones, so less “oh theres a lot of ACTUAL romantic subtext between these two” but rather “oh theyre friends and would be cute together!” (or like they kissed and i was like O: )) but im just trying to theorize about something its possible my tiny trans brain was trying to express- and who knows maybe im not the only one!

anyway i guess the TL;DR is: when i was a kid i had a lot of “unconventional” straight ships- i already observed that i eschewed the main canon pairings in kids media in what was probably my tiny baby brains rejection of hetero culture, but i also actively shipped side characters who looked like me, and also looked like each other (ie, both tall and brunette, a boy and girl counterpart of Each Other) OR characters who seemed to be a gayish boy and a tomboyish girl, and im theorizing that maybe the reason that was was my tiny trans brain wanting to gem fusion those two together because of my Gender Feelings and fuse the boy with the girl and this desire manifested in shipping therefore thinking about a lot these pairings of boy and girl counterparts

[urwarriorangel]

‘show me how bad you want me’ (bellamy blake au)

attention everyone!!!!!!!!!!!! i finally have a new (semi-smutty) bellamy blake imagine out. god i missed writing for this angel. I really hope you guys enjoy this bc it’s actually kinda cute. it’s a modern au (w: slight smut, language)

(here luv, enjoy @padackles2010 xoxox)

(no gifs are mine!!!!!!!!!!!!)

"Hey you’ve had a rough day so let’s get in our PJs and watch a cute movie together and cuddle bUT IT’S TOTALLY PLATONIC ALRIGHT" ft Bellamy Blake (@hcfflepuff)

“Perfect. I’ve got the chips, the popcorn, the candy, the--” thankfully, the doorbell interrupts your potentially never-ending monologue. “I’m coming!”

You run to the door, nearly tripping over a blanket that  you forgot to pick up earlier. You open the door as quickly as you can and a smile settles on your face as your eyes land on your best friend.

“Hi,” you grab his hand and pull him in, closing the door behind him.

“Hi to you, too,” he smiles at you, eyes crinkling and insides turning to mush as you cup his face.

“How are you feeling?”

“As good as anyone who just missed out on a promotion due to a baseless lie,” he shrugs and you wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace, placing your head on his chest as his heart beats tirelessly under his shirt.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get the promotion,” you whisper and his hands find your lower back, holding you close as he sighs. “There is no one more deserving and more worthy than you, Bellamy. If this opportunity passes up, another will makes its way to you. I promise,” you pull away slightly and rest your hands against his chest, straightening out his collar as his hands remained on you, tightening their grip. “You’re kind and you’re smart and you’re beautiful. You’ve got a big heart and an open-mind that wants nothing but to fill the world with love and beautiful books. You’re going to move on from here, I swear it.”

Bellamy gulps after your little speech, his dark eyes glossing over as he lets each word seep in. You tilt your head up and he brings his down, gently placing his forehead against yours and letting every worry wash away as he held you close.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispers, eyes closed and a lips turned up in a smile.

“You’d still be the amazing man that you are,” you chuckle and pull away to place a kiss on his forehead. “You need to start giving yourself more credit. You’re amazing, Bell.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he smiles and kisses your temple as you wrap an arm around his waist and lead him into the living room.

“We’ve got bags and bags of popcorn, chips, crackers, chocolates, candies, just about anything your heart desires,” you smile up at him and all he can think is that his heart desires you… but of course he doesn’t say that.

“Do you have a change of clothes for me, by chance?” He quirks up an eyebrow and you nod.

“In my bedroom. It’s the second drawer from the top,” you pick up that blanket from earlier and he gives you a look. “You literally leave a pair of pajamas here every time you sleep over. So I wash and fold and place them for you, you should be thanking me.”

“You know I love you,” the words feel wierd spilling out of his mouth, knowing that his heart means them one way and you’ll be receiving them another.

“And I love you,” you wink at him and try your best to keep your heart under control, seeing as you two meant the words one way. “Now go get dressed or I’ll start the movie without you!”

“Don’t do that! You know the opening credits are the best part,” he yells at you over his shoulder, slowly making his way into your bedroom.

You smile at his retreating figure, admiring the way his pants fit and how broad his shoulders looked in this suit. Quickly snapping yourself out of your day dream, you sigh and get comfortable on one end of the couch. You grab a blanket and a bowl of popcorn and wait for your handsome best friend to find his way back. You’re about a quarter of the way done with the popcorn when you feel a dip in the couch.

“Took you long enough,” you narrow your eyes at him before offering up some popcorn and playing the movie.

“Well I might have opened the wrong drawer on accident,” he clears his throat, eyes too scared to leave the screen as you turned to face him.

“You what?”

“I thought you said drawer at the very top and I opened it and holy shit you have more lingerie than any girl I’ve ever come across. Do you have a secret boyfriend that you’re hiding from me?” He turns to face you, eyes slightly narrowed as jealousy burns through his heart.

“Careful, I think I see you flashing green,” you roll your eyes and give him a look. “I buy lingerie because it’s cute and it’s sexy and I look damn good in it. If a guy just so happens to see me in a set, then so be it.”

“So you do have a secret boyfriend?” He whispers, not really trusting his voice to hold steady.

You notice the sudden change of atmosphere decide that it’s his protective best friend side speaking. That had to be it. He was hooking up with that gorgeous Raven girl wasn’t he? He wasn’t jealous or anything.

“Bellamy Blake, my sweet angel, my ray of everlasting light,” you smile and scoot closer to him, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulder so you could snuggle against your best friend. “I don’t have a secret boyfriend or a not-so-secret boyfriend or anything. I swear.”

“Good,” he smiles, his worries being wiped away with your confession. “I asked Raven to buy some pretty little sets but she refused. I even offered to pay for it, but she wasn’t into it I guess.”

Bellamy smiles and shakes his head at the end of his little fun fact before realizing that you’d removed yourself from his embrace. He looks at you and you give him a tight-lipped smile, trying your best to keep yourself together.  

“To each her own, I guess,” you lean back against the couch and look back at the screen, unable to look at Bellamy any longer. You felt your heart ripping and tearing and breaking at Bellamy’s mere mention of Raven, but at least now you knew: there was no hidden meaning with any of his words, any of his actions.

“Is-is everything okay?” He can’t seem to take his eyes off of your now stiff figure. “Was it something I said?”

“What do you mean?” You turn to look at him, a smile was gracing your lips but try as you might it wouldn’t reach your eyes.

“Did I say something to offend you? Was it--” His eyes widen in realization as hope blossoms in his heart. “Was it what I said about Raven?”

“No, Bellamy. If you’re happy, I’m happy,” you grab his hand and rub his knuckles, doing your best to maintain a calm demeanor. “Tonight’s about you. I’m fine.”

“Tonight’s about me and I care about you,” he whispers, wrapping his hand around yours and pulling you close so that you’re pressed against his side. “Why doesn’t the pretty princess tell me what’s bothering her, huh?”

You can’t help but blush at the comment and look down to avoid Bell’s intense gaze. “It-it’s not important and it’s embarrassing.”

“You’re important, so whatever’s bothering you must also be important. And come on,” he kisses your forehead and you rest your head against his chest. “I’ll hold you like this so you don’t have to look at me when you tell me. It’ll make it less-”

“Bellamy I’m in love with you,” you blurt out, unable to hold yourself together in his comforting arms. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be. I know you’re with Raven and I understand. I hope you don’t hate me after this.”

“I’m not with Raven, she’s been dating Clarke for almost six months but forget that. Did I hear correctly? You’re in love with me?” He whispers, unable to contain his relief and his excitement. “You’re actually in love with me?”

“Yes, I’m in love with you,” you lift yourself up and look at him, hoping things wouldn’t be awkward from here on out. “Look, we can just--”

“What? Pretend that nothing’s going on? I’ve hid my affection for you all our lives, let me have this moment, okay?” He raises his brow at you, standing up and daring you to fight him but all you can think about is that Bellamy is into you too.

“Your affection for me?” You stand and hit Bellamy with a pillow, waking him out of his lovely daze. “I have been pining over you and crying over you for 15 fucking years, Bellamy Blake! Don’t you dare tell me that all this time you’ve been into me too because I will lose my shit.”

“What, do you want me to lie?” He furrows his brows at you and you whack him with a pillow again. “Ow Y/N what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to fucking kiss me, you idiot!” Your eyes meet Bellamy’s, both of you panting and shaking with excitement. You take a step forward and he lifts you in his arms, kissing you as though he’s making up for lost time.

His fingers tangle themselves in your thick brown locks, gently massaging your scalp and tugging all at once. You moan into his mouth and Bellamy takes this opportunity to stick his tongue inside your mouth, ready to explore every crevice of you. Your hands rest against his chest and you let your nails dig into Bell’s chest, a growl escaping his chest at the action.

He pulls away from you slightly, tugging your head back and exposing your neck to him. He smiles widely at the sight of your neck, so ready for his lips and his teeth and his slender fingers.

“You’ve no idea how badly I want to take you,” he whispers against your throat as his nose nuzzles your jaw. He presses wet kisses against your throat, letting his tongue lick a trail up to your mouth. “No idea how I want to strip you out of these fucking shorts,” he smacks your ass and you groan, his free hand wrapping around your neck in a light choke. “No idea how many times I’ve thought about taking you on this very couch.”

“Please show me,” you pant out, Bellamy’s hand tightening around your throat as you smirk at him. “Show me how bad you want me.”

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

‘Miss far fetched’ (MGG x Reader)

AN: so I am a shady petty bitch and I will say that proud, seeing an Insta ‘exposing’ matt and his current girl friend is just...to good not to write passive aggressively about. 

Tagging: @litandexciting @tortillachildalyssa @dontshootmespence  @bookofreid @reidbyers @reid-my-fortune

The ‘hate’, though you hardly let it get under your skin, started when you had first become friends with Matthew, you and him were working on a movie, him on screen you behind it as his PA, a job you really loved to be quiet honest, yeah you ran getting people coffee and lunch, but it was fun, getting to see the inner working of the movie making world.

It never bothered you when the random off comment came when you were seen with Matthew in your Insta pics. Often you and him chilling in PJ’s with cheap take out, comments of ‘See once a cheater always a cheater’ you often deleted them cause fuck that drama.

It hadn’t gotten real big and up in your shit until after Matthew and Joanie had broken up, too which you were a simple friend for him, an almost three year relationship is a tough thing to lose, but you had managed to help him, with much ice cream and cheesy halloween movies, many twitter and Insta videos of your amazing duets of ear bleeding status, he was a tall lanky skeleton, with moves of said description. But he had thanked you for the friendship.

When you had started dating it was halloween, not planned but a very convenient timing for people to use. A simple photo of hands and the internet trolls went insane. though you had never been happier, it was true that you had been a fan of Matthews before meeting him, his art was amazing, his directing skills and acting made you want to pick his brain. So of course they used it as some magic evidence.

Which is where you were now, sitting with your friend, reading the ‘evidence’ these people had.

“Okay so apparently according to them ‘If miss boring wasn’t a bad enough try hard, Miss far fetched, seems to think she matches Matthews personality…embarrassing’ the photo is literally me in black lipstick and my circle shades, oh no call the press I am just trying so hard to fit my boyfriends personality!” Snorting I flipped down the Insta accounts page “Oh my fav ‘yikes, he looks so unhappy! Like what happened to him? Miss far fetched is draining his life force’ so seems they haven’t seen the 13th season and have no actual idea what PTSD can do to a person…like holy shit” it was true in the photo Matthew was the picture of hollow eyes and scruff, but they seemed to miss it was during filming of the 13th season of CM where I had been stolen by Matthew and become his personal assistant, which I can say without one, me or other, my wonder boy would be dead from starvation…

Sighing I clicked my phone off, flopping down next to Ally “Why do people care so bad about me and king spook…like why is him with me and not Megan or Ali so horrid..like me doing make up or posting a photo in one of my wigs is just me copying apparently…like…” I paused sinking deeper down a thought running through my mind, Ally turned looking me over “What does the evil part of your brain want you to do? I know that look, thats the look that had me and Matthew running from security of the halloween city…whats up?” I smiled laughing slightly “So…what if we did like a live show..like Periscope or Insta live…like just casual shade at miss ‘gublerexposed’ like…hold on” with that I jumped up running to mine and Matthews room yanking out his sleep shirt and pants from the night prior, I wore them often enough for it to be a problem for this chick and others, but why not cast the shade flag high.

Coming out Ally laughed, The ‘king of spook’ shirt and pants I had made him for Christmas…to say we made Christmas just snowed in halloween was an understatement…I mean we had a black tree because of me, why not be darkly festive.

“What? Who says I don’t have a king of spook shirt? Have they been in my closet? nope..okay lets fucking cast the shade that would make trees quake” With a nod Ally started it up after a few quick tweets we had people typing and hearts flying on the side “wow…hey friend-o’s..so waiting for King spook to get back has gotten boring…so why not do one of these live show things you young kids do…man Matthew has like unplugged my like need of technology chord…its insane…” he truly had, the lack of needing my phone with me now was insane.

“Um so…I actually wanted to do this because…some people on here, the lovely Instagram..where I post my very boring life of being an assistant to my boyfriend…find the need in there soul..the true unwavering need, to like expose me and Matthew, like, god my favs are when I post photos of me in my wigs that I use for like cosplay or because wigs are so much fun, if I resemble any hair color of Matthews ex’s, I am just a copying slut…like they realize….that just because I suddenly have a wig thats long and black or brown…its a sign i’m just making sure that Matthew stays with me cause I look like Kat or Ali or Megan..which I have told Kat these cause her and Matthew are still friends, and she laughed cause this shit is ridiculous. Like for real…like the fact of me just trying a style trend that came from Japan and Korea believe the high blush like right under your eyes, yeah that was a trend in Korea and Japan..to make you look cute and slightly hungover, like…because Ali did it I am just a copying bitch”

Laughing I sighed shaking my head “Guys…guys…heres the thing…I am a grown ass lady, like I don’t ever wanna be famous…never, ever too much attention on me makes me panic…ask Matthew, I’m his PA, which means I am his personal assistant, I get him to meetings and schedule appointments, like, coffee and lunch so I know he’s eating is my job that I am paid for through his agency, not him.” Pausing I sighed looking at Ally “Should I bring up my favorite thing…” Seeing Ally nod I laughed “Okay so, during season 8..like god 7 years ago..almost 8 Matt was like on and off again with the girl who played Diane, or Maeves killer, like this account, shit you not was equating Matthew hanging out with the actress who plays Diane..as Reid cheating on Maeve…” pausing I looked at the phone lens gesturing “Like WHAT! What?!  I need them to see that Reid and Maeve and Diane are fake characters…not real…I mean besides me calling Matt dr in bed thats as close as Reid is to being real. Like good lord people…”

Sighing I just shook my head, moving topics to random things people were wondering, “Um will Matt be coming out with more halloween tattoo’s?” I looked at ally as she spoke “I hope…I really love his designs, main reason I have like 7 on me, um ya’ll have seen my ‘universe I love you’ one on my left wrist..and I have the ‘October for always’ on my ribs which ow..that hurt, um I have his three old heads on a wall on my ankle, and Jesus..um I have a self portrait of Spencer on my shoulder blade..and one he drew for me on my arm….where I used to cut, its of a bandaid and a little message..in..god cause I am the biggest fucking nerd, in DND style elvish is a message from him….um okay so we’ve been on for like god almost 2 hours and Mr. Spook just text that he’s almost home so..we gonna go, and remember guys…people who try anything to ‘expose’ you are just very lonely..very sad and lonely…alright madam spook and Ally the spoopy out”

Sighing I sat scrolling through my feeds, ally having left not too long ago, it made me smile to see support and love from people, agreeing that ‘exposing’ people required real evidence and not people scraping so far down that what they posted made zero sense.

Jumping slightly at the feeling of someone laying on me I yelped looking down to see the curly puff ball head of my boyfriend now curled on my stomach “Hey..long shoot day?” Running my fingers through his mane he sighed nodding “Real long, lots of reshooting, I felt like my eyeballs were gonna pop out of my head” I laughed sadly “Awe my King spook is all tired, damn Criminal minds for being a fan favorite award winning Public access show! Damn it all!” His laugh tickled my stomach slightly as he pressed his lips to it over my..his shirt.. “Want me to run a bath, I can do the hair wash scratchy thing you love when your a sick guppy,” looking up at me he smiled “Despite what people say…nice live show by the way, I have many attractive screen caps from it, despite people thinking I am just the biggest and worst person ever cause heaven forbid I fuck up and or break up with people…you are my madam spook and one day hopefully instead of spelling your last name wrong they’ll spell mine wrong….I love you okay?” nodding I lean down pressing my lips to his “Man You got that shaft end, like ‘gubler’? What the fuck did your ancestors do for a living, like…’yes you sir! The town gube! You are just a gubler you are!’ Like was it an insult? Or a profession?” Laughing he shrugged “Ya know if I had a time machine I would go back in time and ask but..man I left my time box on set..darn” laughing I shrugged sighing “So bath time?” His nod was all I needed, despite people being morons, this was all I cared about…

[xaephan]

some strange phan ramblings

i haven’t wrote a fic since like. 2008? maybe earlier. i don’t want to go back to my ffn and check. i don’t...really want to write a fic either, it’s more like i’m in a weird headspace and i’m projecting it onto my newest obsessions. i don’t even know how to put all this into one fic, even. it’s all just random bits and bobs that don’t really weave together all that well.

1) that angsty bullshit bit i want to write about dan and how he thinks he’s nothing without phil. their friends? all phil’s friends, really, before they realized it’s really danandphil as an entity and they indulgently include dan. pj, louise, cat--all met phil first (...i think. tbh i don’t even know lmao this is the Best Reality Fic of all time obv). phil has lots of friends that are just his--childhood, high school, college, he kept in touch with them all. dan though. other than their shared friends? he’s got nobody really.

their fans? really just like them for the mystery and the chemistry between them. he wouldn’t be anything without phil. his entire career wouldn’t exist without phil. all their big projects? starting from the whole bbc thing, it was always solo phil they want at first, then phil does what phil does best and drags dan in. something something more angst about how he’s more popular than phil now something something if phil ever decides to leave--leave the partnership, leave dan, leave in any capacity--dan loves him enough to let him go. he’s petty and jealous and not all that good of a person, but he’s good enough to do that. for phil. always for phil

2) that weird lawyer dan and youtuber/cafe owner phil au that nobody wants and i think i probably subconsciously plagiarized the idea from an inception fic? but uh, dan never messaged phil and went on to finish law school and became a mediocre lawyer. his parents are so so proud, his few friends think he got really lucky with the firm he joined--it’s so big! corporate law is where all the money is!--and dan likes it well enough. well no. he hates it, he hates it so much, but he doesn’t have anything else he can fall back on and he doesn’t even really have any passion in life he could maybe work at. everything’s just dull dull dull to him and. well, he’s mediocre but he’s still getting a decent paycheque so. stick with the devll you know, right?

louise is a bubbly paralegal and she’s kick ass and doesn’t take shit from any of the holier-than-thou lawyers in the firm and she has a soft spot for dan who is super awkward and procrastinates too much and dropped his files in front of the Big Lawyer Boss whose name is first in the firm name that one time and so never lived it down

phil is the pretty successful youtuber who didn’t make it as huge as he did in reality and so decides to get A Real Job and opens up a very small but v v cozy coffee shop across the road from the law firm dan works at. (it’s...it’s good investment or something idk) it’s got quirky decorations and a million different mugs and chairs that’ll eat you if you’re not careful. it’s got really great coffee but truly mediocre pastries he buys from a cheapo wholesale bakery. it’s also got a pretty nice piano in a corner, from when the previous owner had the cafe as a pretentious hipster place, and it was too heavy to move so phil just left it. covered the top in small plants and stuff tho, so it fits in alright.

dan goes in a few days after opening because he Really Needs Caffeine to live ‘cause lmao he stayed up two days in a row to work on a case. he falls in love with the coffee and then--secretly--the piano, and hey, that barista looks...kind of familiar? those eyes are pretty striking. he makes a mild fool out of himself ‘cause that’s dan for ya, and also he’s been awake for long enough that he’s tasting colours. he’s stressed and got a shit ton of work though, so he just appreciates the coffee and leaves really fast, to work on this case that makes him fucking depressed but hey firm lawyers low on the totem pole don’t need morality, amirite? but he goes back, ‘cause the decor is so not his style but it’s strangely comforting, and the coffee is truly great, and that piano? he hasn’t felt like he Wanted To Do Something for a really long time, but it’s kind of--calling to him, maybe, makes his fingers itch a bit.

he doesn’t see that barista from the first day for a good while (it’s vidcon or something idk) but the other two baristas there are nice and laid back and there’s free wifi! so dan comes to work there sometimes, when the office is driving him insane (he has a tiny little closet and its walls are drab and bleak and gray). his eyes keep straying to the piano, but nobody ever plays it, and--does it even work? it’s got so many plants on it, maybe it’s the new hot thing in decor. piano plant stand.

one day he just goes lmao fuck it what could go wrong and asks the curly-haired barista about it (pj isn’t strictly a barista, he does youtube and actually owns like 20% of the cafe, but he’s a people-person and wow a lot of these caffeine zombies give him good inspiration). he gets a ‘oh dude sure go try it! we don’t know if it’s in tune or anything, but as long as you don’t make terrible screeching noises feel free to play around’. and like. the cafe plays nice, soft, calming music a lot (there’s a lot of acoustic covers and it’s all very pretty), so dan hopes he won’t be too noisy but apparently nobody really cares ‘cause. caffeine zombies.

so dan does, and he’s fucking rusty as hell, and pj is right, the piano isn’t really in tune, but it’s still the most beautiful sound he’s heard in a long, long time. he actually feels good doing something for the first time in ages, and he--keeps going back. he wasn’t as bad as he was fearing (well no, he’s pretty terrible, but he picks simple things to tinker with and tries to not play loudly), and he gets better and better. it’s great stress relief and some of the other patrons will drop a comment or two at him and it’s all really nice

so phil comes back, right? and he’s been neglecting some backroom stuff like inventory and bookkeeping and stock levels--pj says 20% isn’t enough to make him care about this stuff and phil badly wants to hire someone to do this for him because. he doesn’t know anything about this??? his brother does all his merch stuff even though it’s, ya know, a small bit and martyn does it as a side-job so he can hype it up on his rv. but he’s been doing alright so far and his accountant hasn’t yelled at him too mush, so.

he thinks maybe pj is on a piano-cover kick at first, ‘cause it’s all songs he knows, even though it’s old stuff like final fantasy and muse, but then he finishes all the back room stuff and goes out one day (pj is threatening to quit if he has to man the front by himself any longer, ownership be damned), and there’s--that guy on the piano. the tall dude in an admittedly snazzy suit (as snazzy as a drab work-appropriate suit can be) who insulted his shirt that first time. and he’s, well, he’s pretty good! and also, ya know, pretty. objectively! when he plays piano and he’s into it and he’s swaying a little and--yeah okay, phil is Into It

something something they start talking something something omg so many things in common something something Fear Of The Future amirite what am i doing why am i wasting my life doing something i don’t really care for (dan) why am i clinging onto something that plateaued years ago and even though it’s still relatively good it hasn’t been Good if you know what i’m saying (phil)

and like. they help each Be Better and dan quits his job because the only person he even liked there was louise and they make this cafe really great. they start fooling around with baking for the shop and--they like it? also dan is actually weirdly good at it, for a dude who is kind of a kitchen noob before all this. they start making joint videos too and whoa, people like it? they love phil and dan together? and dan never branches out into his own channel but they do start a gaming thing, and their holiday baking vids are the stuff of yt legends because dan gets really perfectionist about it and phil is Just Terrible but their banter and domesticity really comes out in full force

‘cause. ya know, it’s kind of. how they live now, right? it’s all very precious and cute. they’re worryingly codependent v v fast and. that cliche about someone who comes into your life and brings all the colour that was missing before? yeah, that happens. they angst about it ‘cause that’s Not Healthy i guess i don’t know how this part goes but I Feel Strongly About It

their cafe starts being The Place for really delicious gourmet coffee and pastries that uh. don’t...always look good but taste like a little bit of heaven in your mouth. if you’re lucky you’ll hear some really great live piano once a blue moon too, so people gossip and spread the news and oh yeah, there’s these really pretty baristas? it’s in the middle of the posh downtown financial district (do those exist in the uk? aah), and it’s mostly busy older professional people so the fact it’s actually phil and dan doesn’t spread for a good while. they get really great business and dan starts doing experimental little things in the kitchen and handing them out as samples on sunday (downtown financial district so it’s really kind of dead on the weekend) and it becomes a really popular day for the cafe

and...idk. yt doesn’t mix well with running a business probably? so they cut back on one or other and something something angst but they’re really happy so it’s Good whatever

3) nothing but fluff about their forever home, a story that people far more talented than i have already written about. their old london apartment is just Terrible and they’re in legitimate danger living there (the gas leak thing? yeah that was actually worse than what they said on camera). it’s too small and cramped and breaking apart, so they decided to move pretty much after the tour finished and they had enough time to be human again. so, middle of 2016 pretty much

they had a lot of ideas for what they wanted, but they waffled back and forth over buying a house vs. renting, but decided on renting in the end. they need to be in london because they have a Thing they’re talking about with the bbc and their businesses are still here. it’s not really realistic to buy the kind of house they want in the city either--they don’t really have A Talk about it, but phil has a weird fascination with housing ads and over the years he’s pointed some (many) out to dan as favs and dan gives his opinions, and somewhere along the line, they decided on something with four bedrooms. one for the each of them, because they’re over 6 feet each and have the worst sleeping schedule ever, and really, no matter how big the bed is, they have trouble sleeping together sometimes. also they literally spend all their time together, so their own little space is good. but! back to the four bedrooms! so two for them, one guest suite for their family/friends, one for--well, they don’t really have A Talk about it either, but they both know it’ll be a room with soft yellow walls (dan has strong opinions on pastel pink and blue and the associations) and white trim, large airy windows and carefully blunted furniture. phil also has Strong Feelings about a garden and dan would love more privacy and neighbours that aren’t right next to them

so buying, not really realistic. they also had a really amazing year financially in 2016, but they won’t have that kind of income in 2017 so they’re more into investing at the moment. planning for the future they’ll have together--it’s a fact at this point, they haven’t considered being apart in years and years, it’s not even something they consciously consider anymore

they settle on renting something that’s a huge improvement on their old flat and dan goes a bit crazy with the sudden freedom to get his aesthetic going. he hasn’t liked his room in a year or so, the poor guy. they have A Talk about how much of their new place they want to show to their audience, and how they’ll be talking--and not talking--about the fact they’re moving together. they decided on not necessarily being more open, but giving less denials and letting the facts speak for themselves back in 2016, so they kind of just continue that. they’re both careful about how their wording about pets and future houses go, but they think it’s really quite obvious

so 2017 ends up being not as chill as they were hoping and their bbc Thing starts up. their upstairs is a sanctuary the both of them love, and dan made sure the decor has a theme that appeals to the both of them (silver and while and grey, calming and modern, but with lots of soft things and pops of colour). he’s maybe stepping away from the back, in the same way phil doesn’t need brights everywhere now, but it’s Good for them both still

they stay there for (idk i’m gonna throw a number here. 2-3 maybe) years at the flat, and it’s good, but dan is getting Really Broody and phil isn’t far behind, so they start looking for their forever home (they started calling it that after the liveshow, before they just said something like ‘a house maybe one day’ but--yeah, it sounds good to them. their home will always be each other, anyway). it takes much, much longer than either of them had hoped

they find it in the end, though! maybe brighton but also maybe another ‘suburb’ near london, where Their Thing with the bbc is still going, but they’re old hats at it now and their business is prospering without them constantly having to be the face of it, and their investments have done well enough that they can really afford it comfortably now. it’s got a big yard and a really adorable white fence that they kind of gave each other amused looks at, and--well, one of the four bedrooms is already a soft cream and it’s got a beautiful arched window that overlooks the backyard, and the family who owned it before them also had a home office going that would be perfect for their gaming stuff

they did some really cut-throat bidding and finalized the sale, but then they had to wait f o r e v e r before they could move in (’why is the busines like this, phil? why can’t it be faster?’). in the meantime, they maybe visit a shelter (or ten) and contacts this super scary lady who looks at their finances dubiously and asks them all sorts of questions, trying to decide if they’d make good parents. she understands youtube in an abstract sort of way but she knows them from the bbc Thing and hey, business owners is a plus. she decides they pass muster, and she warns them the years and years they could be waiting, but they have a good feeling

they move into their house in the middle of summer, which is A Mistake but their new place has ac, thank god, so other than a week or pure torture, they settle into it nicely. they hire someone to take care of the yard, because lmao, they totally underestimate lawn care, but asks them to leave the garden patch alone, and phil has a grand ol’ time with it while dan whines about how hot it is and phil, why do i have to out here too phil. they bring home an adorable corgi who has some issues but is still incredibly affectionate. their furniture that dan kind of went crazy picking (again) do not escape unscathed

they spend an autumn there, then a winter, and out of the blue the next spring, they get a call about a baby girl who the mother can’t care for, and do they want to maybe visit? so they do, and their fourth bedroom with the soft yellow walls and arched window is occupied very soon after

somewhere during that time is a small wedding only their family and immediate friends attend. it’s just a piece of paper, but they’ve learned that it still means something to them, so they do it. plus, legal benefits and--and they have to think about another being depending them now, right? the piece of paper is really useful for that.

in the end, i guess they lived happily ever after