#i have many other critiques of him but thats for another day.

[will-pilled]

If you don't take the impacts of people like Jordan Peterson or Ben Sharpiro seriously and just brush them off as (the) idiots (they are)

Long read about Jordan Peterson and how his meatriders behave.

You should still take them seriously as a threat.

A peer of mine was going on about how women are chosing the wrong path. I asked him what path he thought was the wrong one, knowing it'd be your standard woman hating nonsense. Which it was. He said that women not getting married or having children was "the wrong path."

I told him that generally childless single women are the happier demographic. He laughed and asked for a source. I didn't have an answer because MULTIPLE sources say that. Literally all you have to do is like.. Search it up and most of the sources say this.

I asked him HIS source, to which he said Jordan Peterson.

I told him it was foolish to take the word of just one man. A man who almost had his license revoked nonetheless, but I did not bring up that part.

He said that just because I didn't like him for a reason apparently I didn't understand (???) that doesn't discredit him.

So not only are Peterson fanboys taking everything he says seriously, but they don't even GOOGLE what he says. This guy is literally obsessed with JP and takes him very seriously. He also fits the "troubled young man without a father" mold too.

JP is so fucking evil praying on vulnerable young men like this, and his peers do it too.

[mihai-florescu]

Can u explain to me the significance of anzu. If u wanna

Signed, someone that only knows of her as the self insert protag and wasn t aware she s somehow very important (i dont go here but i like hearin u talk about it)

Yes! Anzu is a character in her own right with a full backstory that expands beyond enstars actually, in ensemble girls, to the point where it makes me wonder at what point they decided to make enstars to show what she's been up to after leaving kimisaki (the school in engirls. There she is called angie, both angie and anzu are references to the pronounciation of the game titles themselves). She's also the older sister of the protagonist of engirls, a male transfer student from yumenosaki into kimisaki (the plot of engirls takes place in enstars 2 era, so her brother is actually still at yumenosaki during the first year of enstars, he's in the general course though, not the idol one).

The reason Anzu transfered is after a failed revolution she was part of in kimisaki. In that game she is a sort of ghost haunting the narrative, where a lot of characters still mention her (and compare iirc?) to her younger brother. I cant speak much of how this impacts him, ive only read a limited number of engirls stories, mostly ones from before he transferred. Heard the game ends with a timeloop he has to break, so im very curious to one day find a translation for That. So while that's happening over at kimisaki, but let's get back to enstars, where anzu gets another chance at a successful revolution and falls in love with idols in the process. Her presence and trickstars revolution solidifies that things are changing from the war into a hopeful future, the student council arent undefeatable, and there are still new characters that can appear and impact the flow of the story.

When trickstar were broken up by fine she stays and helps in the DDD in a way where, without her, trickstars revolution wouldnt have succeeded. She puts on a mask and joins on stage when the only other member left in the unit was subaru, and the minimum number of people to be qualified to perform is 2. She calls people from her old school in the crowd, amd her brother calls general course students, whose support for her trickstar lead to winning the first live against knights and make way for them to progress to the finals. In the end during the DDD finale it's her vote that makes the difference, going into overtime and making trickstar win. She's a regular person, not a genius, not even an idol, who had impacted the course of events time and time again until the end. She supported Trickstar's revolution, joined them on stage as support, i'd say she is the glue of the unit that helped keep it floating, made it a place to return to. On a grander scale, Anzu is a character who gets a second chance at a successful revolution that ends in happiness, something she had failed at kimisaki. Trickstar are the miracle that changes yumenosaki, but that wouldnt have been possible without anzu's support. Their 5th member.

A critique i see sometimes is that everyone ends up liking her for no reason but...thats not true? Many characters welcome her as a breath of fresh air and a needed new perspective, but others are aprehensive and untrusting in the beginning, it's not like her presence alone magically fixes everything as a deus ex machina or anything, she's actively working hard, to the point where she jeopardizes her own health in the process. And it's also not like she acts the same with all idols either, or doesnt have her own personality and input, she directly impacts their character arcs through her treatment, like in kaoru's case comes to mind first.

This is for ! era at least. I feel more confident talking about that one than !!, where she is part of the P association and experiences hardships and is undermined there, but i am not the person to talk about that as i dont feel like my knowledge of her role there is nearly good enough.

[sadistpet]

Questions for the mun. A series of questions for the mun / the person behind the muse(s)

@gcldfanged / @valour-bound :

What caused you to start writing? What was your key point?

OH MY GOD UM im really not sure???? as far as i can remember ive always been writing

i was a freakishly verbose child ( I CALLED MY SISTER AN IMBECILE WHEN I WAS 3??? ) and very ahead in terms of reading and writing because kno. The Autism. i was reading like actually Reading adult-level encyclopedias for fun from when i was like, 3 or something so ive always been into literature and i think it just kinda spawned from there?? i was writing stories and keeping them in punched pockets, writing plays and fanfiction and stories on microsoft word, so it was something i always did afaik

if there was a key point i don't remember it, but there are some things that stick out to me; once when i was around 11?i got a pokemon fan magazine that had honest to god fanfiction in it and that was like. immense to me. like you're telling me other people write about their favourite franchises like this?? and after that i really started taking stuff more seriously in regards to how i was writing another was when i was. ??? unsure but my teacher at the time wrote on my work "remember me when you are a famous author :)" and that sticks with me to this day. she was kind of a huge bitch but that was such a genuinely moving comment and i think abt it a lot sometimes

and a lot of little things too. like being told by online friends that i was an amazing writer for my age, or my english teacher being legitimately visibly excited to talk about my writing. so yea :3

Are you happy with how your favorite canon muse was portrayed in canon?

HMMM. in terms of raikov i Think so ? but i do wish we had got more of him. and specifically more of his relationship with volgin because they're very cute together. idk if i've mentioned it here before but i theorise that their relationship was initially meant to play a larger part in mgs3, because mgs is known for having very multi-layered and complex villains, and volgin isn't really shown as one. and yeah that's likely what they were going for with a more bond-esque narrative, but the fact he's constantly portrayed as evil personified WHILE ALSO having parts that shows he genuinely loves and cares abt someone... idk. it feels like they wanted to make that more prominent to add more depth to his character but they just didn't

SO REALLY thats my only critique, i wish we had seen more of him interacting with the other characters rather than nameless npcs. i'm kind of content with him being a mostly blank slate, though -- it means i can do a lot more work on him :3

What are your biggest (personal) Tumblr crushes?

gonna do this in rp sphere only bc otherwise i think ill die of embarrassment BUT i literally have so many like oh my god if i fucking. follow you then you can assume i look up to you because WROW i follow such cool writers. my main ones if i had to choose are han (@cwarscars), hope (@viruslearnt), jason (@tacticalvalor), soda (@gcldfanged) and ryder (@zendatsu); theyre the ones i look up to the most i think :D theyre all genuinely such sweet people and terrifyingly amazing writers like hoyl fuckign shit

[lilisette]

you know you got it bad when a man can drag you out of your years long writing slump been trying to get back into writing :) i have a few drafts going but this is the first one that is done and is not smut, i have too many smut ideas

ngl im kinda scared to post the smut i wrote because i miiiiightve written thirain thats a bit too aggressive

anyway feel free to critique, i havent written in years and would love some feed back

.

Jealousy was a foreign feeling to Thirain.

Born as the heir to the Luterran throne, he had lacked nothing. He never needed, nor cared about the attention people gave him that his cousin Berhart was so envious of. If anything, he felt that it would only distract him from his duties and training. And being forced into hiding further showed him how fleeting people's attention could be. 

When he ascended the throne and began his rule as king, the attention and scrutiny increased by at least tenfold. People watched his every move and hung on his every word. Noblemen would push their daughters at him in hopes of linking themselves with the royal bloodline. He never felt jealous precisely because there was no cause for him to be.

That was until a nobleman came in one day, trying to matchmake his son with you, of all people. 

.

Thirain was discussing a matter with a nobleman when you came into the audience chamber. He nodded at you, and beckoned you to come over. The nobleman, curious, turned around to see who it was that arrived.

“Oh King's Knight!” He greeted, and did a polite bow when you came near them. “I am Johannes of Montwood. I was hoping to speak to you about a certain matter.”

You shot Thirain a questioning look, but he looked surprised too at the noble's statement. With no hint as to what was going on, you replied, “Sure, what is it that you need?”

“I have a son who's around your age. He is quite the charming young man I am sure you will find wonderful to talk to. I could introduce you to him should you be interested in finding a husband.” 

To say you were flabbergasted would be an understatement. Sure you were a Luterran noble now, but you didn't expect a matchmaking attempt from other nobles due to you being an outsider. 

“I- Um- Perhaps another time Lord Montwood? I am not looking for a husband at the moment.” You tried to reject him as politely as possible, but he continued.

“Then perhaps a meeting? To see if you two would click? You could never know without meeting him at least once.”

You were about to reject him again, firmly this time, but Thirain interrupted you before you could say anything.

“No Lord Montwood.” He interjected, his voice having a slight edge to it. His face was blank and devoid of any emotion, but having spent a lot of time with him, you know that that was a mask he often used when he was upset. 

“She is my trusted knight and is currently assisting me in the rebuilding of the kingdom. She will not have the time to do so as she will constantly be by my side.” He stated with finality in his tone, allowing for no room for negotiation. 

“I-I see. Very well.” The nobleman, sensing that the king would not tolerate this discussion any further, wisely backed off. He bowed and murmured a farewell, before quickly leaving the audience chamber. 

The audience chamber was eerily quiet after Lord Montwood left. Thirian's face was still blank, but upon closer inspection, you could see the anger and frustration in his eyes. The air around him was thick and tense, impenetrable. Before you could do anything however, he stormed off without saying a word, leaving you next to the throne.

You looked towards Meehan, who most likely heard the entire exchange, silently asking whether you should go after him. He shook his head, and then handed you a small stack of papers with a sigh.

“Here is today's agenda, King's Knight. Please take over his Majesty's duties until he returns.”

.

Meehan had to admit that the King's Knight was a fast learner. He had doubts at first when his Majesty mentioned that you would be assisting him in the restoration of Luterra. But after constantly seeing how well you handled critical issues and disputes, he could see why the king trusted you so much. 

He contemplated the issue of finding a suitable queen for his Majesty while he watched you discuss a local issue with a merchant from the side. 

Back when the king had just reclaimed the throne, he made a list of suitable queen candidates with Sir Cassleford. Cassleford had suggested you as a possible queen but Meehan was reluctant to put you on the list. 

He knew you would be the most suitable for the position and for his majesty. You were dependable, kind and the king favored you so much that everyone in the castle could see it clearly. 

However he knew that you'd have to leave for your quest soon and wouldn't be around long enough to provide the king an heir, so he hadn't put your name on the list of possible candidates. 

But now that the war was over and you had settled down in Luterra, Meehan no longer had a reason not to include you on that list. 

“You should go look for his Majesty, King's Knight.” Meehan said after you bid the merchant farewell. You looked at him, surprised. Shouldn't you finish all of Thirain's duties first before doing so? As if sensing your question, he smiled and continued on, “I will handle matters from here. Don't worry.”

You nodded, and left quickly for the stables, leaving Meehan alone with the papers and his own thoughts. If his gut feeling was right, the kingdom would soon have a queen. 

As he shuffled through the papers, he thought about the betting ring that the knights had. They were wagering on when the king would finally confess his love to his favored knight and if he recalled it correctly, one would win a sizable amount of silver if they got the date right. 

Meehan felt a little guilty, betting on their relationship. But after thinking about how many times his Majesty's not so subtle pining made him want to pull his hair out, he felt that he deserved it. 

[oliverthesquid]

Detective Terukane AU idea??

Okay so I was having Terukane brainrot and i came up with this whole AU about them that I reallllyyyy wanna write a fanfic but i have no idea how to start or if people would even like it so I decided to post about it on here in hopes to get some responses/support as well as some help if possible! What I have written below is my ideas so far. They’re a bit messy , not really organized, and i say maybe a lot because I’m not sure if they’re even good ideas but please take a look if you’re interested!

on a unrelated but related note, if you’re interested in this AU and would like to see me write about it please tell me/talk to me so I can have some sort of motivation to make this happen! Also If you have ideas/suggestions/critiques please tell me as well because I’m kind of a beginner when it comes to writing and suggestions could mean a lot! I need all the help I can get!!

Now onto the actual AU

Basics:

Basically Akane is a thief or some sort of criminal and Teru is the top detective in the department and catches him. However, he needs his help to get to the bottom of a case that theyre working on and getting help from an inside source such as akane could help drastically. Somehow(idk how yet) teru manages to get akane to agree to help him

possible moments/ideas for this??:

akane gets shot while they’re chasing a criminal to get to the bottom of the case and Teru lets the criminal escape so he can help Akane (and obviously he gets all confused about it because he just let a criminal go to save another criminal somebody that he should hate)

Its nighttime and they go outside. Akane decides to show Teru his favorite spots hang out which are specifically the rooftops where they can look down at the city below. They admire the scenery together and maybe they have to walk across a tightrope to get to certain spots and teru is maybe a little scared (but he wont admit it). However, akane holds him steady and helps him across (sort of like in the book rooftoppers??)

Guys what if,,, they kiss on the rooftops in the moonlight that would be really cool i think

Both of them are pining but are in denial

A lot of them just bugging each-other and its really cute

Instead of the school mysteries theyre all sort of criminals and they each have like a specialty according to what their rumor was/is

Instead of “president minamoto/teru” its detective minamoto/teru

Maybe the have to go to a bar for some reason and somebody slips something into akane’s drink without him noticing. Teru obviously has to help him and get him out of there

Akane hangs on top of the rooftops a lot especially when hes sad or thinking

Teru getting scared of getting attached to people

something to do with Akane’s childhood and why he joined the clockeepers. Possible idea for why he joined them is that maybe he was an orphan as a kid and they somehow tricked him into joining them? (like in the manga) but despite that hes still with them after many years and they’re all pretty close friends

Relating to the orphan akane idea; maybe as a child akane got to know and be friends with aoi (female) and started developing a crush on her. However, after he joined the clock keepers he started to see and talk to her less and less. He still has feelings for her (not for long 👀) but has never told her how he feels. Since hes a criminal now he cant bear to face her like that so he just watches and admires her from afar.

One day teru and akane are out doing work on the case or whatever and akane spots aoi at a cafe. He sort of grabs teru and sits him down at a table nearby so he can observe aoi. (Basically she’s out with one of her male friends and later the guy confesses to aoi but she rejects him) Teru asks him whats going on and Akane tells him about her and his feelings for her. However he admits that she’ll probably never like him but he’s just watching her from afar (that one line akane says about aoi before he saves her and reveals himself as the clock keeper in the manga) Teru starts to feel jealous but he doesn’t know why. Why should he feel jealous? It’s not like he likes Akane... Oh shit.

maybe the criminal theyre trying to catch is Hanako?? (since in the manga is the leader of the seven mysteries so here he would also be like the leader) and also!! If the criminal they’re trying to catch is Hanako: Teru is trying to catch Hanako because his boss told him to. However, it turns out that his boss is Tsukasa (but he doesnt know this) and Tsukasa is trying to get reuinted with Hanako (same sort of relationship as in the manga) through the means of catching him with the police. Possibly Akane discovers this and tell Teru. Teru struggles about what he should do and Akane helps him through)

Instead of the school mysteries theyre all sort of criminals and they each have like a specialty according to what their rumor was/is

(idea) the 4 pm bookstack are instead a base where tsuchusgusmori has information on basically everyone and everything. For the right price, he’ll give anyone that information

(idea) the clock keepers are instead a little band of thiefs who live on top of a huge clock tower (or something and thats why theyre known as the clock keepers) obviously, akane is a part of that band

(Yako/ misaki stairs idea ) maybe way too dark for the story but yako runs a tiny little doll shop in the city but underground, its access into any area and any exclusive event possible (because her boundary is space). She can get you into practically everything including private rooms with security ect. however she won’t get you out, you have to figure out how to get back on your own. And the price to get into one of these places is a human body part. The harder it is to get into the higher the price is. (so like low class events would be like a finger, blood, ect. And super high class events would be like an arm, a head, eyes) shes gathering bodyparts to possible revive/recreate her dead lover (miskai)

[antiloreolympus]

11 Anti LO Asks

1. I feel like when RS was drafting this story she wanted Hades and Persephone to be on a united front with dealing with their issues and conflicts instead of having conflicts with one another to get over to make them look “perfect”. However the flaw with that, is when the outside characters (Minthe, Hera, Hecate, Thanatos, etc) criticize their relationship were not proven they’re wrong. Thanatos said it was nepotism and it was. Not only is hades covering for Persephone who isn’t even working as an intern just sitting cozy in his office while she’s wanted for the police, but staying at his place also. Shady much? Minthe knew something was up with Persephone and she was more than right, not only does she train Persephone the day after Persephone kisses her ex she learns that Persephone commuted a genocide. Hecate and Hera are worries for Persephone for her reputation and being young and naive. Persephone is young and naive and can’t make friends at school because hades took some kids eye out. Over and over RS proves these characters right and not make me root for the main couple because they’re just bad and for each other. And remember when Tori and the yellow girl student (from persephones class) mentioned Persephone is sleeping her way to the top? She’s just smooching her way to the top guys it’s fine. Persephone should receive punishment for killing a bunch of people, turning a nymph into a plant with more than just community service and hades should stay the hell away from Persephone. I hate how RS used “the immortal dating pool is small” excuse but that doesn’t mean a 19 year old should fix a 2000 year old man’s issues 

2. wish persephone would just be evil. shes not a girlboss if she was girlboss whys she always like "im sowwy 🥺" and "i wish i wasnt a bad girl 😭🥺" like no. just be evil. and not in the "hi im a murderer 😁" way in the "i am a fully fleshed out character that has complicated actions and can stand on my own 😐" way.

3. just off how many LO episodes there are now, and if they roughly follow the same 25 episode count for each volume, then you'd have to buy well over SEVEN books just off the current count of 180+ eps. Seeing as it's going past 200 eps, then that's even more. now let's say you get the hardcovers, so thats over 300 dollars for all the current eps you cant easily read for free instead. more so, the art and writing gets worse the longer it goes on, so what incentive is there to buy these anyway?

4. does ... does rachel know the whole point to helios in the hxp myth was that hes the most unbiased source and will always be honest? along with him and apollo they legit cant lie. why would she purposely make him a liar? to be another stupid fake antagonist to hxp? he was one of the few people in myth who supported them?

5. what i find so annoying about lo stans is they act like critique of LO is somehow against some poor underdog and we should stop picking on her (which isnt what critique is). Rachel is NOT some nobody getting unwarranted hate for her indie project. she has millions of readers, she's a published writer, she has merch, even (minor) awards, and much more. stop acting like she's some helpless nobody who needs protection. she's a professional in the industry, not a child in of a white knight.

6. im probably wrong here but i heard someone say hebe in lo is permanently stuck as a child? tell me thats not true :(

From OP: I haven’t seen any confirmation that Hebe will stay as a child.

7. i get why rachel doesnt do it because she herself cantt depict realistic couples well, but s2 hxp is so boring??? like its a romance, the conflict should be in the romance, and while the couple wasn't the source for it in s1, you get why they weren't an item because of other factors. but s2, now that theyre together, theyre just too functional, you know what i mean? they have nothing in conflict, including minthe being turned into a plant! like how did they get stale once they became a couple?

8. i just cant take any plot, relationship, or character "development" in LO seriously (esp if its the characters not being ~perfect~ and actually being realistically written) because i just know it'll be retconned in a week or two, because rachel lacks a backbone to stick to any writing choice and her fans have no sense of reading comprehension, so theyll complain and she'll bend over to appease them. the writing in lo was always weak, but its only gotten worse the more "fan input" she takes in.

9. the wild part to me is literally the majority of the issues in lo are just stuff rachel didnt need to add. she didnt need to make persephone 19. she didnt need to add in sexual assault, she didnt need to make hades a slave owner. she didnt need to add in the aow. she didnt need to add 30+ plots she cant keep track of. she didnt need to make hera a cheater. she didnt need to have apollo, leto, thetis, etc there, and it goes on. like she questions who made her write this? look in the mirror!

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

10. FP mention

It really annoys me that it looks like Persephone's only concern about her SA is "Will Hades still love me even if I'm damaged? 🥺🥺”

I know that we saw her being disstressed about being pregnant because of her SA and that she said that she doesn't feel comfortable being around him but all that is just mentioned when she's around Apollo or he's mentioned somehow, we never see her feeling bad about her body as she says, nor we see her having bad days she's always happy and almost sexually available for Hades and it's never brought up unless it's for ✨the drama✨ or making Hades look like a "perfect man" for respecting her boundaries (that's just the bare minimun jfc) or just to make Hades and Persephone closer

Like jfc she was talking about her trauma and how she feels about Apollo and suddenly there's a joke about Hades wanting to kill him and then Helios appears and there's unfunny jokes about it?? Same vibe as Persephone talking about her nymphs friends death in the same episode where there's a fart joke and that "oops a maybe-underage-Perse is naked!!! So funny" scene

11. fp// no offense but rachel seriously going with leto is the cause of apollo's sexual assaulting ways was legit such a stupid and cruel idea that i thought "no, surely rachel wouldnt stoop that low to try and get out of her bad writing choices" and yet??? someone pray for her editor, they need it.

[buckyskorpion]

11 Hours - part one

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Reader

Summary: bucky is the mystery you can’t wait to solve. if you can get out of his bed long enough, that is. a biker au.

Warnings: gang-typical violence, sex scenes, alcohol mentions, probably more to come so stay tuned

A/N: um yes so hello another au and another wip..... dont hate the player hate the game. i hope you enjoy this though! this is my take on a biker!bucky au because we definitely dont have enough of those. let me know your thoughts on this, critiques, predictions, anything! my ask is open. also i wont be taking tags for this so please dont ask. 

title taken from 11 hours by wet | playlist

You lie on your stomach, sheets pooled by your ankles, and watch Bucky watch you. One hand propping him up on his side, the other tracing slow, hair-raising circles on your bare back. He’s not really seeing you though, eyes glazed over so they look shiny and huge, big enough to get lost in. You roll away from him, off the edge of the bed and onto your feet.

“Going?” he asks, voice rough. You can’t remember the last time one of you spoke - the time between breathless moans and now seems stretched, like a liminal space you’ve both been sitting in for far too long.  It’s time to get back to the real world. You shrug one shoulder, rooting around his bedroom floor for your clothes to redress.

“It’s late,” you say. He huffs an agreement. The two of you didn’t get back to his apartment until after midnight, so who knows the time now.

“Let me call you a cab,” Bucky says, rolling onto his back to pat around the bedside table for his phone. You toss him a look over your shoulder, chosing to ignore him as you pull your skinny jeans up over your ass. Bucky pauses to watch, tongue flicking over his lips and not bothering to hide his grin when you catch him. You throw your jacket at his head which he catches with ease, laughing himself back into the pillows. Ugh, he’s such a menace.

You walk back over to the bed once you get your last shoe on, closing the distance you’d created that was so obvious in the contrast between his bare skin and you, fully dressed. You lean over him, letting him tug you close with a hand on your hip while you pull him up with a grip on his dog-tags. You kiss him, a hard press of lips and a quick swipe of your tongue that he tries to follow but you pull away. He lets you go, rolling his eyes at the tease.

“See ya later, tough guy,” you say, backing up to the door. He tosses your leather jacket back to you, and you catch it with one hand as you head down the hallway. It’s the closest thing you’ll get to a goodbye from him, so you let the front door click shut without another word.

You shrug into your jacket as you race down the stairs of Bucky’s apartment building, heading for the laundry room. It’s not like you know Bucky - all you do is fuck on any day you both happen to be free, starting at a grungy bar in downtown weeks ago and ending here, in some strange friends with benefits situation (minus the ‘friends’ part). He’s hot, and you’re not looking for a relationship, so it’s perfect. Only, something about the scars on Bucky’s knuckles and the motorbike he drives you home on after the bar makes the hair on the back of your neck raise. Something about Bucky is bad news, and you’re not about to get caught up in it just for some (mindblowingly good) sex.

So, you head to the laundry room and climb out the window rather than using the lobby doors. Nobody sees you, and it’s easy to get to if you stand on the dryer in the far right corner. You don’t know why you think someone might be watching Bucky’s apartment, or following you from your late night visits, but your dad always said you were paranoid and it’s never hurt you this far in your life. You swing a leg through the window and drop down into the patchy grass below.

From here you scale the fence into the gym parking lot next door and enter the street that way, nobody the wiser. You stuff your hands in your pockets as you walk down the street, itching for a cigarette or some gum or a pair of earphones, something to keep you company as walk home in the middle of night in New York. There are still people out and about, because of course there are, it’s New York. You make it home without a hitch and immediately head to the shower to wash off the night.

Naked again, before you get under the jet you check your phone. Bucky has texted you - probably a joke or something, his pretence for checking you get home safely. Tough guy my ass, you think as you open the picture he’d sent. He’s holding up the black lace panties you’d been wearing, the one’s he’d pulled off with his teeth and tossed aside without a second thought. Under it, he’s sent another message. Think you forgot something.

Did I really forget them? You try to bite back a grin, because it’s sad to be standing in your bathroom smiling at your phone, but you’re unsuccessful. You watch the three dots under Bucky’s name start and stop, then start again, making your heartbeat pick up. You’d made the oh-so-confident Bucky ‘dont know his last name and don’t need to’ falter. It still gives you a thrill.

Don’t think you’ll be getting them back.

Consider it a present, perv.

You like it

No comment.

You jump in the shower, leaving your phone on the vanity. You can’t leave the shower until you rub one out, the rounds of sex you’d had a mere hour ago long forgotten at the thought of Bucky doing the same thing as you to the panties you’d left behind. Maybe you don’t want to get caught up in whatever shit Bucky is in to set off your paranoia radar, but you certainly want to get caught up in him. If you aren’t already; irreversibly tangled.

***

You never find Bucky, he finds you. Or rather, he gives you a call and you know within a few hours you’ll be at whatever bar or diner he asks you to meet him at, building up the tension until you both can’t take it anymore and go back to his apartment. It doesn’t matter what you say to him, or how many times you say no - you both know you’ll be there.

This time he catches you leaving your dad’s place, pushing through the gate as you put the phone up to your ear. You turn to wave goodbye to your dad in the window he always stands at to see you off towards the subway, and say, “So soon?”

“Hello to you too,” Bucky grumbles, but you know there’s no heat in it. You’re grinning as you dodge pedestrians, tugging your puffer jacket tighter around you with your free hand - the New York winter chill has started to set in and it’s biting through even the hoodie you’re wearing under the jacket.

“Hello, Bucky,” you say, hoping he can pick up on the thick condescension you’re handing him, “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I can hang up,” Bucky warns, and you smirk. You’re winning this round, at least.

“Aw, don’t be like that, baby.” You jog down the subway stairs, hoping your line doesn’t cut out as you move underground. It doesn’t, Bucky’s reluctant laugh filtering clear as day through your phone.

“Baby, huh? Moving onto pet names are we, doll?”

You wrinkle your nose, “Ugh, not if they’re from the nineteen forties, no thank you.”

“I’m sure you hate it,” Bucky says, sarcasm heavy. You can hear his eyeroll from here. “What are you doing?”

“Getting on a train,” you say, as you do indeed slip through the almost-closed doors and try to avoid any and all surfaces around you. “What are you doing?”

“Talking to you,” Bucky says, grin audible. It’s your turn to huff now - Bucky never tells you anything about his life, what he’s doing, who he’s with. It’s another thing that makes you think he’s hiding something, but instead of finding it infuriating and a dealbreaker like you should, instead you’re fascinated. Your mission is to figure Bucky out, piece by piece.

There’s a muffled voice on the other line, someone talking to Bucky and you imagine him covering the receiver with one big palm. A hand that you want on you, running down your skin and pressing down over your throat and dipping between-

“You there?” Bucky asks, jolting you out of your daydream. You’re blushing, suddenly too-hot in the layers that were previously not doing enough to ward off the chill.

You clear your throat and say, “Yeah, yeah, sorry, what?”

“Mmhmm,” Bucky says, clearly amused. “I said, I’ve got a favour to ask you. Something a bit different.”

“Oh?” It had been weeks of going to dive bars and underground diners, meeting Bucky in dark corners to drink rum and cokes and eventually fuck each other senseless until you’re sure Bucky must get noise complaints. Never had he once indicated he might want to change the routine you’d set up. Never had he asked you for a favour. To say you were intrigued was an understatement.

“Come to a party with me tonight?” he asks. You have to replay his voice in your head to make sure you heard right, stunned into silence. He takes your pause for a ‘no’, hurriedly filling it with, “I get if it’s a no, but my friend Nat is a drill sergeant and she’ll give me the third degree if I don’t bring-“

“Don’t hurt yourself,” you say, interrupting his nervous ramble. You’d never heard Bucky sound anything but aggressively confident before. It’s throwing you for more of a loop than his invitation. A large part of your brain tells you to say no. You don’t trust Bucky, really - you barely know him. But thats why you want to say yes. Going to this party might change that. “I’ll go. What time?”

“Eight tonight,” he says, breathing a sigh of relief. “I owe you one.”

“Yeah, you do,” you laugh. You organise to meet at his apartment, not quite ready to give him your address yet, and hang up. Your mind is reeling, sure everyone on the train must feel the impact of that phone call, too.

They’re all going about their business as if something monumental hasn’t just happened. Bucky has invited you into his life, to meet his friends, as his date. What happened to not-friends with benefits? What if this changes the arrangement you’ve carefully cultivated, so perfect for your independent lifestyle and Bucky’s obvious commitment issues?

The temptation is too much. You practically run home when you get off at your stop, anxious to get ready. You’re about to get a few more pieces of the Bucky puzzle and you have to look good for it.

***

Bucky stops you in the front hall of the house, a hand on your arm as he stares down at you. He looks comically large in the tiny Brooklyn town house, even if it is ten times nicer and more beautiful than your place will ever be. The party filters in from further inside the house, loud music and laughter and the obvious clink of beer bottles sounding muffled through the bubble of you and Bucky.

“My friends are… a lot,” he says, drawing his lip between his teeth. You tilt your head at him, amused by what you can only assume is nerves radiating off Bucky. He rolls his eyes at you, kisses you on the forehead quickly, and adds, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I can handle myself, tough guy,” you say as he tugs you by the hand through to the living room where the party is in full swing.

“I hope you’re not calling that punk ‘tough’, lady,” a man calls out from the couch, pointing the neck of his beer at Bucky. His tone sounds aggressive but the wide, gap-toothed smile he gives says otherwise. He gets up and pulls Bucky into one of those manly half-hugs. Bucky doesn’t drop your hand as he pats the guy on the back, and you try in vain not to read too much into that.

“Sam, this is (Y/n),” Bucky says, and to your surprise Sam pulls you into a hug as well. You make wide eyes at Bucky over Sam’s shoulder but he just smirks, clearly amused. He’s still holding your hand.

“Nice to meet you!” Sam exclaims, a bit too loud in your ear but you don’t mind. His happiness is infectious. “Come meet Natasha, she’s going to love you.”

“Why’s that?” you ask, letting yourself be led by Sam with an arm over your shoulders to the couch he’d just vacated. Bucky drops his grip but follows too-close behind you, his body heat almost like a physical touch on your back, reminding you he’s there. You wonder if he’s nervous about what you’re going to say to his friends, or what his friends are going to say to you.

“Because,” Sam says cryptically. You roll your eyes - he’s sounds just like Bucky.

Sam stops in front of the redhead woman he was sitting next to when you entered, dropping the arm from your shoulders. She immediately stops her conversation and stands up, giving you a once over with a smirk tucked tight in the corner of your mouth. You try not to feel intimidated but it’s hard - she’s beautiful, and scary, and did you mention beautiful? She shoots an amused look to Bucky over your shoulder, and in response Bucky rests his fingertips on the small of your back. Barely there, but just enough.

“You’ve brought someone, James,” she says, turning her attention back to you and holding a hand out. “Natasha, lovely to meet you.”

“(Y/n),” you say, taking her hand. It’s soft -  you half expected her to break your hand. “Thank you for having me.”

“Oh, you’re adorable,” she says, and you don’t bother hiding your frown. You don’t like feeling condescended and Natasha seems to be exuding that in palpable waves. Bucky must feel you stiffen because he steps closer, if possible, and slides the hand on your back around to grip your hip.

“Nat,” he says, with warning, and you glance up at Bucky to find him having some kind of silent stare off with Natasha over your head. Eventually he looks back down to you, smiling a bit and squeezing your hip, don’t worry about her. To you, he says, “Let’s go say hi to Steve.”

“See you later, (Y/n),” Nat says, wiggling her fingers in a wave as you follow Bucky to the kitchen. You ignore her, stepping closer to Bucky on instinct as you weave through people packed wall to wall. That was weird, but what did you expect? Bucky did warn you.

Steve turns out to be a giant blonde teddy bear who sweeps Bucky into a hug that lifts him onto his toes. It’s endlessly funny to see huge, muscled, intimidating Bucky being manhandled by a touchy, clearly tipsy behemoth. Bucky doesn’t let it stand for too long, though, bringing Steve into a headlock and sending them both tumbling into the kitchen bench.

“Jerk,” Steve gasps when Bucky lets him go, eyes narrowing. Bucky grins, breathless, and punches him on the shoulder.

“Punk,” he says fondly. You’re mesmerised. You’d wanted to see more of Bucky’s life but you never expected this. It’s like watching him with his family, and it makes something soft and fuzzy swell in your heart which is bad. Very, very bad. Maybe you shouldn’t have come.

Steve finally notices you’re there and you do the normal introductions, watching your hand disappear in his huge one as he shakes it. They’ve all been very welcoming, in their own ways, you notice (bar Natasha, but something tells you she’s always like that). They don’t seem to question your sudden appearance at their party or with their friend, holding Bucky’s hand and being tucked into his side as he passes you a beer and gets to talking about things you have no hope of following. You’re happy just to watch Bucky, smiling and laughing with pointed teeth and crinkles by his eyes. You still don’t really understand why you’re here, but you’re not going to question it. This feels like a stolen moment, something you’re not meant to see and might not see again so you try and commit as much to memory as you can.

The night goes on, talking with Sam and Steve and Natasha who appear to be Bucky’s closest friends and the only ones he bothers making time for. Bucky doesn’t stop touching you the entire time. At first you think it’s nerves, but the more you observe the party around you when the conversation turns to something you can’t contribute to, the more you think it’s for everyone else rather than Bucky’s nerves. You catch a lot of people eyeing his hand on your hip or his arm around your shoulders, or just looking at Bucky in general. Hardly anyone interrupts your little party of five but not for ignoring you - it’s almost like they revolve around you, in tune to the groups’ every movement, but they wouldn’t dare approach. It’s weird. You try not to look too hard into it but your dad is right. You’re paranoid.

Eventually it’s just you and Bucky sitting on a bench outside, a canopy of fairy lights casting shadows from his unfairly long eyelashes as he looks down at your entwined hands in his lap. You tug against his grip, causing him to look up at you and you almost lose your train of thought. Bucky’s eyes are searing blue, the hottest part of the flame.

“You’re being very possessive tonight,” you say, squeezing his hand for emphasis. He doesn’t look away from your eyes, cocking his head to the side and you have the distinct feeling you’re being tested.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks. You don’t answer straight away. Truth be told, you have no idea what’s going on. You went from fucking Bucky on a semi-regular basis, keeping it at strangers who bone and nothing else, to being glued to his side at a party with his closest friends in what feels like no time at all. Whiplash, is what you feel. You don’t think you hate it, though.

“I never said that,” you tell Bucky, and watch as his face morphs from calculating to that shit-eating, confident smirk you’ve come to know. You’re relieved to see it, the sparkle of his eyes as he leans closer to you in the dark of the garden. This, at least, you know.

“You’ve done well tonight,” he says, and you hate how you glow at the compliment when you should be rolling your eyes. “I know I’ve asked a lot.”

“It’s alright Bucky,” you say, smiling at his seriousness. You’d think he’s asked you to commit a crime or something. “Although, I don’t know why you needed me here. I’m glad you did, but…”

“But you thought I only wanted you, to fuck you?” he finishes, kicking his eyebrows up in amusement. You hate the way you blush, ducking your head from him to try and hide it.

“I feel like that was a very logical conclusion,” you say defensively. What else had he given you? You didn’t even know his last name.

He takes your chin between his fingers, tilting your head back up to look at him. He’s smiling soft, not condescending at all, and he moves his hand to cup your cheek in his palm and hold you there, looking at him.

“Maybe this was a test,” he says, licking his lips. Biding time. “To see if I can trust you.”

“Do you?” you ask, eyebrows kicking up.

“Jury’s still out,” he says with a grin, light-hearted, playing it off as a joke but you know from the look in his eyes that he’s being somewhat serious. He looks out at the garden then, still holding you close, and says almost thoughtfully, “My friends like you, though. Even Natasha.”

You scoff at that, and he turns back to you with that crinkly, squishy smile he gave to Steve before. It catches you off guard, enough to not see the kiss before it comes but you catch up as fast as you can. You want to slide into his lap and run your fingers under his shirt, but that’s probably a bit inappropriate in front of a bunch of people you just met. You settle for a frustrated groan against his mouth, biting his lip and tugging so he’s forced to chase you against the back of the bench, crowding your space. He drops your hand to slide his up your thigh, fingertips dangerously close to your crotch, kissing you hard enough to bruise. His tongue in your mouth is scalding, stubble against your skin a delicious burn, and you would’ve gotten lost in it if it weren’t for the very pointed cough from behind Bucky’s shoulder.

It’s Natasha, standing with her arms folded and a smile hidden somewhere in the green of her eyes. You try to mentally will away the flush in your cheeks as Bucky pulls back, hand still on your thigh but turning to glare at Natasha. You find yourself somewhat hiding behind the bulk of his shoulder despite yourself, letting him take the reins.

“Steve is puking,” she reports, raising one eyebrow. “Sam requests your assistance.”

“Fucking ‘course he does,” Bucky grumbles roughly, getting to his feet. Right before he storms away he pauses, leans back down to kiss you again, and then he’s back on a warpath through the house. Other guests part for him like the red sea, and you watch with furrowed eyebrows as they also seem to watch him go. He never goes anywhere without an audience. Perhaps you were right to be paranoid about him.

Natasha is still standing there when you blink yourself back to the garden, watching you with an unreadable expression. You straighten your holey, vintage t-shirt under your leather jacket and stand, not enjoying the power difference with her standing above you. You wish Bucky had taken you with him, even though you didn’t particularly want to watch Steve throw up everywhere. It would be preferable to being stuck under Natasha’s x-ray vision, though.

“I like your boots,” she says. It takes you aback - such a typical girl thing to say at a party to someone you don’t know, and Natasha doesn’t give you ‘typical’. You glance down at your Docs, and then back up at her pretty sundress with a sexy v-cut.  Sure you do, you think sarcastically, as you both stand there like night and day.

“Thanks,” you manage to say, “And again, for inviting me. The party’s been great.”

“Has it?” she asks, and why do you feel like she’s asking three questions at once? As if sensing your apprehension, she smiles and adds, “Just, I know we’re a bit full on and being the new girl at a party is always difficult.”

You blink, surprised once again. The sincerity throws you for a loop, as everything seems to with Natasha. You say, “I mean, yeah, but you guys are great. You all seem really close, it’s- nice. Like  a family.”

Something flashes in Natasha’s eyes, that amused little smirk returning to her face that fills your gut with dread. Was it something you said?

“Come on,” she says, and just as you think you can’t be surprised by this woman anymore, she winds her arm with yours and starts leading you back into the house. Throwing you a conspiratorial look you’re not sure you’ve earned, she says, “Let’s go find the boys. I’m sure Steve’s finished throwing up by now.”

Part Two

~~~~~ please let me know what you think!

[ectonurites]

My least favorite type of fic!Tim is when he’s portrayed as depressed/very mentally and emotionally unstable, but also at the same time as someone who is like lauded as being super dangerous/the most skilled or something like that?? Those fics where Tim is chugging caffeine and barely sleeping, but characters are still like “oh I wouldn’t wanna piss off Tim he is Dangerous” and that’s annoying enough but then there are fics that at the same time as that portray him as like on the edge of a breakdown. It’s very irritating even if I’m not sure I can articulate exactly why, it just really rubs me the wrong way. Like, I definitely do think Tim has some issues with depression and stuff, but in fics like those it’s treated more like a quirk sort of instead of a serious issue

LMAOO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT i’m not a fan of that either. I’m apologizing in advance if I sound mean in any of this critique i’m about to give of that fanon version of him. I want to preface this by saying that people can write whatever the hell they want, like, they’re allowed to! And I’m not referencing/calling out any specific works here. Just trends. But I’m gonna bitch about some things I’ve noticed that annoy me, personally. (so again, not saying other people can’t enjoy this stuff! just. not for me)

so like sorry if im mean but this is just me ranting and also this is my blog anyways so:

(nobody take this as an attack on them please because it’s really not)

The problem is a lot of those fics seem to interpret Tim’s behavior in Red Robin (& especially like that last whole arc of his Robin run also by FabNic) as if that’s his normal, rather than the result of a few years of CONSTANT traumatic incidents pushing him to a breaking point (because while all the shit he went through with his Dad, Steph, Kon, Bart, and then Bruce dying was spread out over several years for us as readers, it’s regarded as like within two years in canon! It all happens when he’s 16 and 17. According to the Batman comic right after War Games, Jack was murdered only days after Steph died.

(Batman #634)

That’s a LOT to process for one kid jesus christ) 

I love Red Robin honestly, I do, but it is about Tim at the lowest points in his life. It’s the grand finale of Tim’s story, and everything crumbles, that’s kinda the point! The end leaves him in a position to either rebuild himself or fall apart. It’s all about how he chooses to continue after this point!

(Red Robin #26)

The way he acts and the things he does in that comic should be regarded as such. He can’t live the way he does in Red Robin forever or he will literally burn himself out/become something unrecognizable, like, jesus it’s kinda even acknowledged in the comic when he thinks about what his potential futures would be if he keeps it up like he’s doing:

(Red Robin #25)

He sees himself as dead, as Batman (which he has countless times said he doesn’t want to be and at this point in his history almost every time he’s seen a future he became Batman in he had become a killer), or needing to retire and taking over an Oracle-esque role, likely because he exerted himself too much to continue. 

When you look at him around this same timeframe when he’s not isolating himself/too deep into the mission and is instead working with his friends back on the Titans, you can see that he is starting to heal and work in a more positive direction. He’s choosing to work on coming out of this rough period by being together with his friends who he loves.

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

Not to say that you can’t write about situations in which he doesn’t start to come out of it, but if you are doing so it’s something you should be taking seriously because that’s the idea you want to explore, not just acting like it’s perfectly okay or normal? (And again, there are a lot of works that do explore it in good ways, there’s just also a LOT that don’t)

Like, so much content I see just make any sadness and depression and tendency to over-work himself that’s rooted in his traumas (which! those do have a basis in canon!) into a quirky personality trait rather than a response to trauma. Acting as if he’s always been this way and it’s normal for him. That’s what bothers me. If people want to seriously explore the effects of all these incidents and how that plays into his ability to do his job as a hero, then hell yes do it! But when it all gets brushed off as ‘oh thats just tim, he just doesnt eat or sleep or feel any happiness but like its fine he’s just always been like that’ I feel my blood boil. 

This also often strikes me as related/tied to fanon’s seemingly never-ending quest to make Tim into this victim of so many things he really wasn’t. They make his childhood 10x worse than it actually was (yes he was lonely because he was sent to boarding schools rather than having his parents around, but he was NOT just left home alone all the time as a child. 

(Batman #441)

He snuck away during a school vacation week to follow Bruce one (1) time and to then track down Dick. This is established in his introduction story! PLEASE read Lonely Place of Dying!) and it just... going with those fanon assumptions as being true changes so much of how people characterize him! 

Some people will also (not to call out tim/kon shippers especially because I  literally am also one but) vilify the shit out of Steph and make their relationship out to be some abusive thing rather than just... a messy teen relationship between vigilantes because they had really complicated lives and baggage with one another? Which they both acknowledge they made mistakes in!

(Red Robin #10)

Or people will vilify the shit out of Dick in regards to the situation at the start of Red Robin, or literally just make anyone who Tim ever had a disagreement with out to be the bad guy despite the actual situations always being way more complex and multi-faceted than that.

And then on top of all that, aside from making him into this ‘im broken 24/7 and not doing anything to fix it also everyone around me is terrible to me’ type of character, because he’s a lot of people’s favorite, they also want him to be as cool and strong as he is at his high points. So they’re projecting all this stuff onto him that makes him what should be a barely functioning person but then also act like that’s fine and he’s able to be a dangerous badass on top of it. 

Like I’m sorry but someone who is going out and actively acting as a vigilante like that which is incredibly physically taxing is NOT surviving on coffee alone and no sleep. That’s literally not possible, he’d fucking collapse. (And like, again, if you want to explore him pushing himself to that point, that’s one thing! but acting like he can manage all of that for more than a few days at a time/maybe while working on one really tough case is nuts!) and like, even canon can be a little guilty of this type of thing particularly since the New 52 (Detective Comics 2016 had more than a few references to him barely sleeping, but at least they also made references to him eating normally/healthily and he wasn’t completely self isolating or anything) (and also that comic had him be so self sacrificial he was ready to die to save everyone and only didn’t die because of Mr.Oz’s interference, he’s definitely not in his best place there) but usually it’s still within some realm of possibility.

Also like. The fanon ‘chugging coffee to survive thing’ just annoys the shit out of me because, like, yes there’s a few moments in canon where he’s under a lot of pressure and pushing himself further than he normally would and had some coffee (one of the only times I can even remember him having it on panel is... oh... during that last Robin arc I just mentioned a little while ago shouldn’t be where you source your normal characterization of him because it’s a very difficult situation that pushes him further than he normally would go! huh!) But the thing is like, people play it off for laughs, or like it’s a normal thing he would do at any time in his life! If you want to explore him pushing himself and using coffee as a crutch, like, there’s ways you can write it that takes it seriously, but almost every time I see it come up in fics it is like a core part of his personality and just ‘oh haha silly tim always with his entire pot of coffee he must chug every morning or he’ll die :^)’ And that bothers the hell out of me. 

In general it’s just... people treat Tim so weird. They want him to be so many different things that he’s shown himself to be at different times for very specific reasons, except they want him to do all of it at the same time which just doesn’t work. A person can’t function like that, and it’s not even close to who he is in canon. 

Again, people can do what they want, and this is just my opinion obviously, but yeah. My two cents on the matter.  Read Lonely Place of Dying, read Young Justice, read his Robin run. Read his comics and get a feel for who he was before all the rest of his trauma, and see how he canonically reacts to it along the way. I know reading comics can be tough for some people but so much stuff just echo chambers and becomes barely recognizable in this fandom and it’s just... a shame when it happens with a character ya love. 

[thirdhandidiot]

Trans obey me hours bitches

(Main Post) If you were fortunate enough to avoid the first one, I recommend reading it first, but you don’t need to dw! guys keep hitting me up with obey me stuff in my inbox– I just wanted to finish this before I started anything else, but I love seeing your sexuality HC‘s amd can’t wait to talk Abt it!

I recon that it’s difficult for certain characters to go ‘unnoticed’ as trans for whatever reason, so here’s my thought, ask box is always open for obey me thoughts, especially if you think I’m representing anyone incorrectly or get anything wrong xx

•Lucifer would be one of the only brothers to go completely under the radar. Very few would ever imagine that he isn’t infact a cis male, and none would dare mention it to him. It’s a known fact that it’s practically impossible to catch lucifer in any state of undress, and whilst he’s unhappy with the attention thats brought towards it, he’s glad that no one has succeeded. Lucifer has scars on his chest, and whilst he’s taken good care of them to ensure optimal healing, they never completely left, the discoloured strip lighting up his already porcelain skin. Most days he’s able to completely forget about them, but occasionally he’ll see himself in the mirror and it’s stings, the reminder that hell never truly be what he considers perfect. On particularly bad days he will shut himself into his study only leaving for meal times (setting a good example to the others of course) and for classes, which isn’t too different from usually, but he shouts less, and the others can’t help but feel bad for taking advantage of Lucifers bad days, instead opting to maybe just, leave the fight for tomorrow yea?

•Mammon probably suffers pretty badly from dysphoria. His demon form requires him to expose the scars across his chest and as a result, quite a lot of people have a hunch. Anytime anyone asks he laughs it of with another story ‚attacked by huge bears!‘ ‚human witch tried ta kill me!‘ ,I battled diavolo and won!‘ but no one really believes his stories and he knows it. He appreciates that no one bothers him about it too much, but he doesn’t really like people knowing, it feels like they have something over him, like black mail, and we know how often mammon is blackmailed. Despite that he’s a successful model, having done plenty of shirtless shoots, and he’s noticed that the scars are never in the final picture, edited out in favour of flawlessly smooth skin, amd whilst he wishes he looked that way, it still feels wrong to see himself without them, especially when no ones brought it up to him.

•Levi absolutly has the worst dysphoria– due to his lungs being unlike any other demons (his demon form seems to have gills?) it’s dangerous for him to get surgery (not to mention he’s probably terrified of the prospect). As a result he just accepted a long time ago that he’d always have to bind. Considering how he’s almost always in his room, it’s not like many people know, but sometimes he’ll be in a raid and his voice will crack just one too many times when he’s mad, or he’ll get too defensive over someone else being attacked for being LGBT that there’s a few rumours online that he might be trans. He ignores them solidly in hope they go away but on bad days he can’t help but read them all– see complete strangers pick him apart and it hurts. Unable to bind for too long (for the fear of his brothers wrath) Levi often opts to wear huge clothes when in his room, which is part of the reason he makes people wait before entering, quickly changing into a binder, regardless of who’s at the door.

•Being neither Male nor female, it’s obviously impossible for Satan to go under the radar. Using they/them pronouns means that they’re often made to come out to people pretty soon after meeting them, given that they didn’t already know. Sometimes they just don’t have the energy to go through the gruelling task of listening to people stumble whilst trying to talk to them and will just leave, but being the avatar of wrath apparently has some advantages as very rarely does anyone try stop them. No one deliberately misgenders Satan twice, often meeting their timely end as they won’t hesitate to tear into anyone who has the disrespect to purposefully try hurt someone that way. Satan probably keeps an updated ‚LGBTQ+‘ book directory for any younger students, and has become something of a rolemodel completely unbeknownst to them, just for being an openly queer student (probably has a few admirers too).

•Asmo has a complicated, yet perfectly simple relationship with gender, whatever’s right is right. Usually using any pronouns, but occasionally making a request usually in the form of ‚I’m a princess tonight‘ or ‚i think I’m Daddy, don’t you?‘ and whilst the Brothers find it somewhat strange, theyre supportive and accustomed to the avatar of lusts mannerisms. Usually unbothered by strangers critiques, asmo is no stranger to being the centre of attention, be it a party, shoot or gossip blog. However this doesn’t mean that sometimes their body just feels wrong, like they can’t quite be comfortable whilst everyone’s talking to or about them, however sometimes fearing speaking up, feeling that they might be cut down for being over dramatic or fragile, which usually wouldn’t bother them, but in a more personal matter, it doesn’t always work out that way. Asmo is treated very much like any other human world celebrity that comes out as gender queer, often ignored by the press unless it’s relevant to the story

•Beel Is one of the brothers who passed stealth almost immediatly, having always been more muscular, much taller, and with a more subdued personality that no one questioned. Despite that, at first there was a fear that eating so much would cause him to gain weight on his hips or thighs, but he quickly found a love for working out that he hasn’t shaken since. Members of Beels gym are mostly aware that he’s trans, he doesn’t have a problem with people knowing, as long as they continue to show the same respect for him. He probably continues to post shirtless pics, not caring about what people think of him, and a lot of young queer people look up to him. He’s always happy to talk to anyone who comes up to him and asks for help, always willing to help others feel more comfortable, to give them that little boost.

•Belphie always struggled next to Beel. Of course they never told him that, and to this day belphie feels bad about keeping it a secret, but it’s better than upsetting Beel, right? Belphie didn’t really feel like anything. Definitely not a woman, but not a man? Non binary and gender queer never felt right, more like wearying a sticky name tag with your name spelt backwards where everyone pretends to understand it, when you know it’s wrong. Belphie took hormone replacements for a few years, wanting to remove the association with their birth assigned gender, but after a while, that started to feel wrong too, it was too much. A lot of people ask Beel ‚what Belphie is?‘ and when he told Belphie, they just told him to shrug. If Belphie doesn’t know, why would they? But a lot of people think they know, telling them ‚oh you must be agender!‘ ‚oh so youre Demi gendered?‘ but why would they know? Why do they feel entitled to their indentity? It’s draining.

[lost-in-interwebs]

13 terrible times... warning for cannibalism, gore, death all below (lord.... thats a list)

So 13 returns to her home, scarred but okay, she's tired and just wants to sleep and eat some of her aunt's cooking. People who see her scream in terror, she's supposed to be dead, she's been gone for a few days. She just says she woke up and walked it off, not being able to explain herself how she didn't die and survived up top. (Ouhh!! Maybe she could be covered in bite marks and pickings from scavenger animals) This leads to massive suspicion in the group and she's treated very differently from now on. Aunt tells her to leave family corner, older cousins won't speak to her. She finds a dark damp corner of her own to rest. She goes on a few more hunting mission, loses a finger or toe, and they begin to grow back. People begin to pick up more and more and finally on one hunting mission, she's attacked by her fellow hunters and knocked unconscious. She's brought to a maintenance room and one of her fellow rain tunnel Dwellers takes a cleaver to one of her hands and feet. Its used to feed a few people that night. In a week they can see the signs of the limbs growing back. They removed more and more of her slowly. And allow it to regrow. she's kept in that room tied up and available for the discerning butcher to hand out to community members in soups or cuts of meat. He is cruel. Bones, cartilage, teeth. This goes on for at least two years. Her body is riddled with scars, both of her legs and right arm up to the elbow are gone. She's a shell of the shy girl she was before. She doesn't speak. She is meat. She is food. She is a gift to her community.

And then the rain comes. It comes so suddenly when everyone is sleeping that it takes many in the night. Even the butcher, filling his meager back room with water quickly. 13 accepts this. It's time to die for real. It must be. She dies again from drowning. Her corpse bulges and rots in the water. She revives every few minutes only to painfully die once again. Finally her corpse decays enough that the fat, muscle, and skin of her arms rips away from their bones and she floats out of the tunnels and into Lake Mead.

There's more but there's discussion into the idea if she's the Anti Christ and meeting her father (in the shape of a crow) on the door of death, being offered a choice of regaining her beauty, limbs, and unparalleled strength if she is willing to do her bidding or she will be cursed to be this resurrecting freak who will eventually run her revival powers so rampant that she will eventually turn into a lump of living flesh, living, unmoving or speaking, unable to die for eternity. A true hell. She refuses him. Out right. He pecks put her left eye as punishment.

Or she's the second and last product of an FEV mutant that can reproduce. (Boring I know)

She then floats down the Colorado River (need to do research on its flow) to a community that lovingly buries her body, mistaking her for another corpse taken by the rain tunnels. They mourn her greatly for her injuries and she's truly touched by that and the ceremony they have for her burial. She sits in her grave for some time, growing back her limbs and teeth. Some things take more time then others, some haven't yet to come back. She dies of oxygen deprivation many times in the coffin. Just small intervals of consciousness before burning in your lungs and then nothing. She's finally able to claw herself out after years.

I'll go into more detail in the next post cause I'm still working out the details hope this wasn't too graphic or all over the place I am on mobile and just want to ask for some critiques before I start writing.

[the-rawr-ster]

Words for Proheroes, UA staff, and All For One

Warning: lots of cursing, minor spoilers, mentions of abuse, harsh words, and lots of yelling, and also mentions of suicide, depression, ptsd, ect.

Any of the characters I mention, I say I hate but I don’t and understand they’re human so they make mistakes. I also know they already know that I’m right and probably feel super shitty. I still want to put my two sense in.

So I made a post and some comments on tik tok about hero society in MHA. I didn’t get everything I wanted to say so here’s just a ranting dump about several characters and groups.

The only heroes actually can respect are Miruko Hawks. Let me explain why. Hawks literally called out the heros on their BS speeches. Which I really admire. He’s blunt, which is an extremely respectable trait to me in most cases. And he’s very passionate about the work he does. He cares about people but unfortunately because of how he was brought up (manga spoilers here stop before you spoil it for yourselves). Just like many of 1-A, but also very different, he was quite literally raised to be a tool used by the military for their bullshit. And I think this might have changed based on who saved him. As many of you might know, Hawks grew up in an extremely toxic environment, I won’t get into the nitty gritty deets. The one that got him out of that was Endeavor, his favorite hero. He was his favorite hero growing up. But that only goes so far. Hawks respect for Endeavor (like many of his fans) was because he wasn’t fake, he didn’t pretend to like people, he didn’t pretend to smile. Endeavor was very different from many of the other heroes (horrible father and husband though (an okay hero though, which I think is part of why Stain hadn’t killed Endeavor even though he had plenty of opportunities)). Now we haven’t seen much of Miruko as far as I know, but just from her couple of minutes on screen in the anime, we can already guess that she respected Hawks. She likes how Hawks rolls. He’s confident, laid back, and he’s not a bullshitter. And just for that I can respect her. I also think Bakugō should be the number one hero but that’s a story for another time. I also have respect for Sir Night Eye and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you why because you can figure it out.

Now let’s get down to why I fucking hate hero society. Let’s just start off with the fact that it’s almost identical to how it would be if superpowers existed. There would be quirk discrimination, there would be people that abused their powers, ect. Ect. But most of all, heros get away with anything (much like cops irl). They use violence to stop violence, which goes completely against what heroes say. And we see this with All might a lot. Heros with flashy powers get noticed more than others. YOU SENT CHILDREN TO WAR!!!! THAT IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM OKAY!!! THOSE CHILDREN ARE FOREVER GOING TO BE TRAUMATIZED BY THAT SHIT! And I understand that at some point they’d have experienced something, but when they chose to be heroes it was a time of piece, but then for whatever reason everything went south. Regardless, these kids brains are still developing, idk how but this will definitely change the way their brain develops. Honestly I’d be surprised if none of them ended up commiting. I don’t want them to but in their mental state they’d at least be thinking about it. I actually wrote a fic about a pro-hero commiting. I could write an essay on why heroes suck balls, but that’ll be done another time).

As much as I’d like to talk about each individual hero, I really want to talk about UA students and Staff, and why the staff sucks potato juice.

Let’s start with the obvious one, Nezu. HOW DO DOZENS OF VILLAINS INFILTRATE ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS SCHOOLS? THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE, obviously your security system fucking sucks. NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU ONLY HIRED ALL MIGHT BECAUSE OF HIS STATUS AS A HERO!!!! HES A HORRIBLE TEACHER!!!! AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU ALLOWED ALL OF YOUR STUDENTS TO BE PUT ON BLAST FOR MILLIONS TO SEE, talkin bout some “We HaVe SoMe Of ThE bEsT heRoeS.” THATS bullshit because y’all lost an entire child to a lizard, a magician that puts people in marbles, and a musty old man with blue flames. If y’all produce the best heroes, y’all wouldn’t have lost Bakugō in the first place. AND WHY DO YOU LET MIDNIGHT WALK AROUND WITH SEX TOYS????! And you put all of your students in one place for all the LoV to have access to them. Yes there’s security, BUT SERIOUSLY? WILL YOU EVER LEARN?????

Next, is Present Mike, I love you man but HOW DID YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE TELLING EVERYBODY AND THEY MAMA THE NAMES AND QUIRKS OF THE STUDENTS???!!!! Like Nezu may have enabled it but you could have chosen to not do it.

Aizawa, OH SIR DO I HAVE WORDS FOR YOU. I’m sure you might already know this, but you should know I know. You’re one of the worst teachers, coming to a close second to last place on my list of horrible UA staff. First of all, you hardly taught your students proper combat training. That’s one of the most basic skills every hero needs. You’re slacking dawg (sorry for the disrespect Hound dog). Secondly, HOW DO YOU CONSISTENTLY LOSE YOUR STUDENTS? HOW DO THEY ALWAYS END UP OUT OF YOUR SIGHT? Like you’re really good at hero’s stuff but you’re slacking as a teacher. And why? Why haven’t you punished Mineta yet? It’s literally as clear as a sunny day that he’s a pervert. He is consistently making inappropriate comments and sexually harassed/assaulted several of your other students, and this is outside the LoV attacks, while you were on duty. Oh and let’s not forget about you emotionally manipulating your students!!! YOUR STUDENTS!!!!!! Needless to say I have a hate love relationship because I know he cares for his students and is not prone to favoring, unlike some *cough cough* all might.

MIDNIGHT, I respect your drip and your feminism. I just hate how you were written. YOU LITERALLY WALK AROUND WITH SEX TOYS!!! What do you even do? Like what’s your job at UA? I see you so often but like, what is your purpose? I love you though, and I wish you’d step on me.

ALL MIGHT, OMG I HATE YOU ALMOST AS MUCH AS I HATE ENDEAVOR!! FAVORITISM FAVORITISM FAVORITISM!!!! OMG IT IS SO PREVELANT IN YOUR “teaching.” You treat Deku so differently from the way you treat Bakugō. And I understand that they’re different so they have to be taught differently, by HOLY HELL! You borderline cheered for Deku when he fought with Bakugō. AND YOURE A SHITTY HERO FOR THE WAY YOU TALKED TO DEKU WHEN YOU FIRST MET HIM!! What if he didn’t grab onto you? What if he did what Bakugō said and jumped? You’d be responsible for that in a sense, because you made him feel worse than he already did. I respect you for being upfront with him, and that’s not what the issue here is. Deku was clearly emotionally unstable!!! You didn’t even teach him how to use his quirk, HES BARELY EVEN 16, how does that make sense to you? Anyways moving on to my biggest pet peeve with you, YOU PUT MY BOY IN CHAINS AND A MUZZLE KNOWING DAMN WELL THAT HE WAS FUCKING TRAUMATIZE, WAY TO GOT MR.NO.1 HERO!!! WAY TO FUCKING GO!!! AND THEN EVERYONE JUST SAT THERE AND WATCHED!!!! YOU COULD HAVE HANDLED THE SITUATION BETTER!!!!! HE WAS CLEARLY NOT OKAY WITH IT!!!! DO BETTER! YOU HUMILIATED HIM IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF VIEWERS!!! THE LoV treated him better and they didn’t even know about his trauma!!!! I have so much to say about all might, and some of them are positive too but I’ll probably do a post on that next Wednesday, but for now we’ll be critiquing. HOW DID YOU EVEN BECOME A TEACHER? I feel like there should be more qualifications than being a good hero. BUT ANYWAYS, YAK my whole deal with this man.

Those are all the UA staff I really have beef with, but I also love their characters and how they were written. Now onto my beef with some of these parents.

Mistuki: You’re really the only parent I hate. I understand Bakugō tried to hit you, but where the fuck do you think he got it from? He didn’t become violent and aggressive out of the blue. He got that shit from you. And will you please get your son some hearing aides, my ears bleed every time I have to listen to him scream. And you should’ve been more reluctant to let Bakugō stay in the dorms. And your yelling is not helping Bakugō. Ask yourself why he hates being around you? I understand that you care about him, but punishing your child by hitting them is not okay, period, wether it’s just a slap or not.

I ko: I LOVE YOU TO PIECES! I can’t hate you. I have so much respect for you, but you shouldn’t have let Deku stay in the dorms. I know you wanted him to be able to experience his dreams, and that you felt so guilty about him growing up without a quirk, but Inko, it’s not worth losing your baby over. You were right to be upset with All Might, PERIOD.

ALL FOR ONE!! I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING!!!! YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF SHIGIRAKI IN A VULNERABLY STATE AND GROOMED HIM TO BE A VILLAIN!!! AND YOU KILLED HIS GRANDMA!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!! HE WAS A CHILD!!! HE WAS GRIEVING!!!! HE WAS UNSTABLE AND YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT!!! YOU DISGUST ME!!!!

And a big Fuck you to hero society for turning children into soldiers. A big fuck you for letting these children experience traum on that scale! A big fuck you for not saving Shigiraki! A big fuck you for being so full of shit!!!! A big fuck you for making people feel less than for being without a quirk! A big fuck your for being an overall piece of shit society!!

If you’ve made it this far, I apologize for yelling and cursing. Thank you for reading.

[misterbitches]

Listen im an equal opportunity bitch gender race size idc ur hot i have u in my eyeballs im gonna be sad im single AARON LAI thats just the way it works

Im gonna miss them! If there is no s2 i think thats silly bc why mention all that other stuff. Theres plenty of critique but im suicidal and not at home. That being said, i loved the journey and these production members so potential so whatever the crew does in the future and the cast, alone or with others, i hope they grow.

And one day i will have an aaron lai of my own and we will raise our beautiful children and be indie stars god i need a baby

Also i WOULD watch wayne song and the ex honestly. First of all, i want to have (redacted) with him too and this would be the one time im open to polyamory (me/aaron lai/wayne song and we’d bring in a girl cos thats too many men i havent decided who in this fantasy) THATS NOT THE POINT THE POINT IS they would he attractive together, age appropriate, same vibe, same height too (taller than aaron lai...again i know the dicks are swingin’) like

Zi tong finding Real and trying to be like “i promise im not a piece of shit i mean i shouldnt have done this stupid ‘prank’ and left the ex that i LEFT AND AVANDONED like literally alone Nd i shoulda apologized but im trying with u” bc it’s just like a man to do that they all the same whether they like men women everyone theyre all not shit and wait until 30 to be like wow maybe i should get my shit together and not be garbage can u tell im still mad at the ex but i wouldnt be opposed to see him fall in love w wayneyh song. Another installment and under better conditions. They learn from their mistakes (production and cast and crew) so they can do better next time

Oh and also like when covid is better (which btw everyone just get used to covid affecting every facet of life. It’s here now.

As an aside... The world has changed drastically and it will never be the same. Production rollouts and errors are going to be many and the biggest groups that need protecyion are the workers, not rushing product out. I hope fandoms understand that the world is crumbling and capitalism is not sustainable. This isnt working. The only way out is eradication and i hope when people continue to engage w this media particularly with BL they truly remember that. It seems tangential but it isnt, it’s important, and this is inside that part in time. It is important so we support our ppl around the world and this means caring about the material conditions of the oppressed, meaning taiwanese ppl as we watch this and the realities of gender, sexual, and ethnic minorities there. They arent magically cured from the pitfalls of society with this portrayal. People are fighting tooth and nail, especially artists in this climate, please remember this is not a reflection of a world that is perfect. This was a good example of an escapist show that factored in the real world and not to its detriment but it still is escapism. Lets champion this beinn on a major network but realizing this genre and media clashes with liberation we seek in a complex way. Thats ok. I just think it’s important to remember that now more than ever. We cant stop interrogating and fighting and making ever.

Im glad ppl put work into this show and avoided the usual pitfalls with patriarchal nonsense with rape culture so it IS true escapism while grounded in reality. I hope they can develop more and also i hope the editor of this show and other heads of department understand what the transition button in their editing program is for for sound. :)

[cowboyshit]

@adampage tumblr did a dumbass thing and messed up the read-more to where I couldn’t put it under one so I had to delete your ask and I’m making a separate post for this disaster of a ramble hoooo boy i hope you’re ready for what you’ve unleashed

adampage  asked: ma’am I know you’re high off your rocker but if you have time would you please critique hangman’s playlist for me bc I want to know your thoughts 🥰 anyway yeehaw

OH MY GOD yes???? yes I fucking WILL?????? let’s just pump the breaks on what i was doing right the fuck now, get his playlist in front of me (even though ive been listening to it nonstop and have so many things to ALREADY SAY) and talk about this shit. im sorry if this isn’t coherent im pry just gonna ramble. (edit to add now that I’m done: ITS FREAKING 3252 WORDS LONG LMAO OH MY GOD)

first and foremost. I Love It. let’s just slap that down. get that out of the way. ITS SO GOOD. SO FUCKING GOOD. also this is going under a readmore cause YEAH. it’s THAT LONG.

let’s start first with mr. adam ‘i taught graphic design when i was 20 and learned adobe illustrator and photoshop to design my own tshirts when i was an indie wrestler’ page’s cover image. wait. no. back up - look at the profile image he chose for his profile. it’s not a selfie. it’s not a picture he snapped with his camera. it’s a screenshot of the “has been drinking” moment on aew dynamite. what a lovable FOOL. he really saved that and put that as his profile pic im skjdfkjfd okay now swing back to the anxious millenial design with the signed hangman adam page for the cover. he designed that. I swear he did. I swear he did that. I could be wrong but I just feel it in my bones. that was him. also, THAT should have been the vintage shirt. cowboy shit is cute but ANXIOUS MILLENNIAL COWBOY? I NEED THAT AS THE SHIRT!

okay now let’s get into the songs. wait. before i go through it I do want to say something about the playlist overall.

I can’t decide if this is because he shares so many similarities to the character hangman adam page, but so many of these songs apply to his character like, this fucking playlist plays like a hangman adam page THE CHARACTER playlist. like this is the playlist i’d find on 8tracks back when that was the “thing” in fandom where every song makes me go “OMG THAT IS THAT CHARACTER” like. I don’t know if he did that purposefully as an extension of the character? or if it just happens to line up because of how similar he is and his story is to his character but SOME of these songs wooooo boy they get deep dont they? when you compare them to the character?

okay. songs.

so I know some of these, especially the classics, summertime of course, but for the ones I didn’t know I love them so much. they have such a vibe that just fits him, and they’re all so good???

rather low by nick shoulders is one I didn’t know and I fucking LOVE it. and look. it goes from Long Time Gone by the Dixie Chicks. Long Time Gone about being away from the country life, from home and if my THEORY is right about this playlist hitting the character, hangman is struggling with being lost, without a family. it goes from that to rather low, which talks about not being welcome at home. like “I told you once I told you twice, I’m steeped in verse and cursed in vice” ajdskjds GOOD lyrics. beat slaps. song slaps. I love it.

okay so we go roll on mississippi which is soft compared to the two upbeat songs that just hit us before. calms you down after that high energy beat rather low had. lets you breathe. AND it’s got a sad, soft, longing pull to it, falling in with more of those “lost” from home themes. “You're the childhood dream that I grew up on. Roll on Mississippi, carry me home. Now I can see I've been away too long.” UGH! and also, it’s just a good fucking song.

then we go to a song i haven’t heard and love, going places by aubrie sellers. it’s a little bit funkier, but still soft. also groovy as FUCK. and it obv talks about GOING places. so maybe the first three songs were about the home he’s left behind, but now it’s about where he’s going. and man this song just SLAPS.

A CLASSIC is next, 1970 something illegal smile by john prine. it has that classic soft croon, such a good country sound and it’s a little bit playful. it makes you wanna smile and sway back and forth. it’s a good song. fun. but it’s almost a little bit. dark? “ Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone. No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun. Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls, tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls. I dreamed the police heard everything I thought, what then?” it just makes me think of when his character “killed” joey ryan. I could be looking too far into it but, that’s what popped into my head.

OKAY NOW this next one. fuck yeah I DIG this song. I hadn’t heard this song and it quickly went into my liked songs. and if we’re following his character, the lyrics hit HARD. “ I've lost the will to try this worthless lullaby. Its melody won't fly me past oblivion. I bet it would be nice to find that paradise, a world of sparkling light beyond the setting sun. But I don't dream anymore” ugh !!!!!!! UGGGHH!! SO GOOD?? and even the slight upbeat to it. “would if I could but I don’t dream anymore” uuuuggghhh SO GOOD. love this song. one of my faves of the whole list for sure.

the next two back-to-back are CLASSICS and fit the hangman adam page character so damn perfect. i’ve even looked at lyrics from merle haggard’s i don’t want to sober up to night for adam in the past akjfdkjdsf it’s fucking perfect. and then followed by dwight yoakam’s honky tonk man?! amazing. we go from from fucking heart-wrenching lyrics if you think about them for him: “ I don't want to sober up tonight. I don't want to act like things are alright, and I don't want to change just to make you think I'm happy. That's my right, I don't want to sober up tonight. I want to keep my mind a little hazy. I don't care if all my friends think I'm crazy. The way I treat myself I might be a little crazy But that's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight. I'm here to drown another day of misery. I'm in here to spend one night without a mem'ry and the way I'm drinking now there won't be any memory. But it's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight” to HONKY TONK MAN. HONKY. TONK. MAN. “ Well I'm a honky tonk man and I can't seem to stop. I love to give the girls a whirl to the music of an old jukebox, but when my money's all gone, I'm on the telephone singing, hey hey mama can your daddy come home?” ajhsdjksdjkf like. look. partying hangman, drunk, swinging a girl around in the country bar???? cause he refused to sober up and just wanted to have fun? anyways regardless if there’s a connection or if im reaching, these are some good classics to pull out right here. honky tonk man will ALWAYS bring the party back up.

another song I didn’t know but now love? happy reunion by colter wall? this is a good freaking cowboy song??? and it’s a cute story???? about what a cowboy does during his day??? what the fuck? riding along the range with his dog, helping the cow, getting the calf back that’d gotten lost???? CUTE? anyways this is a vibin as HELL song and if it’d come out when I was still raising cows my ass woulda been blasting this shit as I drove to feed the herd for SURE. this song is a whole ass vibe and I’m digging it.

okay. walk through fire by yola? another i didn’t know (which - so far it seems all the songs that arent classics - spare dixie chicks - are from 2019) and I am obsessed with???? it’s so good? and fuck just such a good love song??? “Standing on the side of the river. Staring across the great divide. I'd give all my gold and silver just to get to the other side. Your love is like a rescue vessel, carries me through the night through these flames of destruction. I know you're gonna make it right. I know, I know you're gonna save my life.“ LIKE? HENLO????????? FUCK!!!! THATS SO GOOD. that whole song I could post all the lyrics tbh. and the way she CROONS it ugh. yeah. I love that song.

FUCKIN YES. DOLLY FUCKIN PARTON. youre not gonna make a country playlist and not include a dolly parton song boy i KNOW IT. and the song choice??? hm? remind you of a CERTAIN COWBOYS STRUGGLE WITH NOT HAVING A HOME???? “What difference does it make which way I go, got an empty feelin' down inside. Still I need to stay alive and who can tell what waits beyond this road. I'm a drifter” ajdfshjsd god I love dolly. and of COURSE he does too. i’m so pleased by this choice I can’t stop smiling. ugh. love this. love dolly.

sandpaper oneside, rubber other by the bobby tenderloin universe what do you know? another 2019 song I didn’t know and yet absolutely LOVE. I also am loving how he does a mix of classics with newer (but still almost classic-country sounding, maybe like. classic meets modern) country music in this playlist. AND WHAT A SONG. it’s so good? and again, just makes me think of the character. “there are two minds inside me. that’s one life too many. but i keep moving slow on both sides, strong as I can be.” tell me that doesnt make you think of hangman adam page. and it has such a... sad vibe. “i cant believe the things i am. as much a lion as a lamb” !!!!!!!!!!! ugh such a GOOD LINE. THAT SLAPS. LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh this song. especially the back vocals of the woman that comes in later on? it’s like. ethereal. beautiful. fucking beautiful and almost haunting. paired with the sad lyrics? UGH. gorgeous.

long white line by sturgill simpson i do know and LOVE and it’s got a fun, uplifting cowboy beat following the more slow, sad croon of the last song. it’s SO COUNTRY. the way it’s sung? SO COUNTRY. and also ajdfskjsd adam. “I woke up my baby was gone without her I don't need no home” and “Gonna' push this rig 'til I push that girl out of my mind. If somebody wants to know what's become of this so and so tell em' I'm somewhere looking for the end of that long white line” kjdjkfdkjf this is just such a country song, and it fits SO well, especially after that previous pick.

now we go from two new songs to another classic. another (i think) 1970s country hit. lonesome, on’ry and mean is SUCH a classic country song. it has that good old sound, and the story it tells too. and just, I can’t stop thinking about hangman just “ Been driving these highways, been doing things my way. It's been making me lonesome on'ry and mean.” ajdskjflkf it’s fair to say that character IS lonesome, on’ry and mean right now. anyways, fun country song regardless and I DIG the addition.

okay back to a newer song and holy shit. this is my personal favorite of the new songs he introduced me to. this song I LOVE this song. fuuun FUN beat, makes me want to fucking GROOVE. I love love love this, and I love the way the singer sings? it just makes me wanna UGH. just wanna sway to it. the whine in the croon I just love. and the BEAT. the beat is so fucking good. and the lyrics? “I'm that wholesome Midwestern boy that you want to bring home to your mama. Even though I bring you joy, baby I'm not the toy you wanna play with at night. Too many things I've seen. Too many people and places I've been. I'm thinking about doing those things I shouldn't be doing. Something I've never done before. I want something to fuck me up. Need somebody to fuck me up. Everyone feels like it. Fuck me up, fuck me up, fuck me up” ajdsjkds I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH “Well I might go and get drunk and stoned 'cause it's better than being only crazy. If I ever come back, wherever I end up at is where I was supposed to be.” it’s so perfect for his character it drives me crazy. this is a song I’d listen to and first, groove to, and then be like THIS SONG IS HANGMAN. love this song. absolutely a favorite.

the next song though. the next song. fucking hangman adam page and his love of biscuits. southern biscuits by seasick steve oh. my. god. this BOY. THIS COUNTRY BOY. THIS BISCUIT LOVIN COUNTRY BOY. this is such a damn good addition. not only is it so fucking country, almost. spoken/sung? the soft hum with the fucking banjo??? and of COURSE of course he knows and loves this song I can’t with him. and it hits you with the: “ Southern biscuits, nothin' better in the world 'less they're made for you, by your southern girl.” and I go UWU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

two new songs so guess what? classic time. BALANCE. HE’S KEEPING BALANCE. I swear he’s done this purposefully and I could be crazy I could be giving him more credit than is due but I swear he’s picked the arrangement of songs too. because this is too coincidental. so, we’ve got our classic livin on the run by david allan coe. what a DARK song to go with. about a man who murders a woman and lives on the run (again, can’t help but think of the joey ryan murder thing, but hey. that’s just me grasping for straws) regardless if it ties or not, it’s a good classic and it’s fun to croon to even if its uh. dark but sung like. upbeat? almost???

okay, another classic and, to me, one of the sexiest songs on this playlist. I fucking love this song. it’s sexy with an underlying of dark. she literally seduces and knocks the guy out and robs him blind and he’s STILL craving her summer wine like. this song is SO GOOD. so fucking good. the way the music swells with the storytelling is beautiful. “Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring, my summer wine is really made from all these things. Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time, and I will give to you summer wine” is just so ajkdfskjdfs ugh i love this song

and guess what? two classics so we’re swinging to a newer song. left turn on a red light by blackfoot. oof. I didn’t know this song and it hit me, it’s so good and I know im saying that about all of them but Honestly. “ Sun shines down on the desert, and it seems to make my life a haze, and I dream of my childhood sweetheart,and the freedom that I had in those days.” UGH. “ Will I always be a rambler? Will the ones I love always keep tellin' me, "You stare too long in the mirror, son, someday you'll be too blind to see.” HELLO???? those lyrics? SO GOOD. and again applying them to hangman just makes me FERAL SCREAM.

cowboys and hippies by cody jinks is such a hangman song it’s almost unreal. if I was going to REALLY reach I’d say it almost reminds me of the way the crowd pulls him back. “At some old honkytonk bar that I know by the smell, some old drunk on a barstool on a Merle Haggard tune. That's my kind of room. Raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys. They don't care about no trends, they don't care about songs that sell. Yeah, tomorrow I'll be gone, so tonight everybody just sing along, raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys” GOOD LYRICS. this has the same sad undertones too as a lot of these songs have too.

ugh. I love him sincerely for this next one. blue skies is one of my favorite songs, but blue skies by willie nelson? YES. my grandpa used to play willie nelson ALL THE TIME and I love this version. an uplifting song to follow the heavier songs. I’d like to think of a hangman who has the blue skies from now on. all of his blue days gone. this song is such a classic (cover) that just. good pick. I love this.

alright, so we’ve got a classic but he’s chosen the version from bojack horseman which makes me think that might’ve been the first time he heard it, but that’s neither here nor there. stars is a BEAUTIFUL song. and boy am I happy we had blue skies before this cause fuck. how sad? how emotional?????? “People lust for fame like athletes in a game, we break our collarbones and come up swinging, some of us are downed some of us are crowned, and some are lost and never found” fuck. fuck fuck fuck. and the last two lines, thinking about hangman? “So if you don't lose patience with my fumbling around, I'll come up singing for you, even when I'm down.” FUCK. my HEART. good pick but OUCH. good but ow.

summertime by orville peck is next BLESS finally an orville song I was gonna lose it on him if he put a playlist and DIDN’T include an orville song. interesting though he went with summertime, the newest, and not any of the ones off pony. but! it follows stars well. its soft, lull, and the lyrics are so hangman now that I put it in this context. “Catch 'em by surprise and chasin' the horizon, nothing holds me down. Askin', "Where the time's gone?" Dreamin' with the lights on, tryna keep your eyes on something along the rise" anyways I know YOU know this song well it’s so fucking good. has that same soft pull a lot of these songs have. the way that chorus swells though? the secondary vocals??? ugh. yeah this was a great choice, I’m glad he went with summertime. it fits the vibe of this playlist so well.

we’re ending on a song with such a country sound to it (i mean all of these do), a bit more upbeat, a bit more funky. “Some say I'm a wild man, drink too much nectar from the corn” and also “Oh the school, it wasn't for me. I earned my stripes a different way I learned to sing harmony and go play out on the stage” definitely makes me think of hangman for SURE. it’s a funky song to end on, and if you keep listening to the playlist on repeat like I do, it even falls into long time gone really well.

and of course this is assuming you’re meant to listen to them one after the other and not on shuffle. I’m sure it still works on shuffle but I LOVE the flow of this playlist listening to it one after the other.

love this whole playlist. and my identifying it with the character could TOTALLY be reaching, but of course I’m going to think of him and analyze his selection of *these* songs specifically to put out to all of us. out of EVERY song he likes. he didn’t include... hmm cowboy take me away, for example? shoulda been a cowboy??? the vibe of the overall playlist FITS “anxious millenial cowboy” it has an underbelly of sadness to it. and I dig the fuck out of that.

overall 10/10 I love this fucking playlist thank you goodnight

[mhall070]

MY SUPER SMASH BROS STORY

I first played super smash bros in 08, when brawl was new. It belonged to my mom's ex's nephew's friend, me my brother my mom's ex's nephew and his brother all played for countless hrs (funny with the 4 of us it really was super smash BROTHERS). Now I first played smash before I new what smash was so it was really just a fighting game with a bunch of familiar faces to it. My mane was Mr game & watch I only played him because he was visually the most impressive character (being flat and all), my brother played snake because he was a solder the nephew would play sonic and his brother would play rob cuz he looked like wall e.

Unfortenently this fun would not last for I had forgotten all about it in the 3 yrs it was absent from my life. 3 yrs later in the last month of of middle school I did not rediscover smash but it was first introduced to me. It was super smash bros 64 I fell in love instantly with its bizzar game play and mechanics, but most importantly with the characters and settings. The first character I played was jigglypuff because no one else played her and she was the only unlocked character. The connection with jigglypuff and I was strong and would be indefinite because she was so quirky and fun, I enjoyed being a nuance to my friends while having my ass handed to me. Note ssb64 is when I first met my partner so you could say smash is a love story. After a while I new I had to own this game so I asked my mom for super smash bros, yep those were my words, I never specified I wanted ssb64. On my next birth bay I received a videogame as my gift it was super smash bros brawl (in my opinion the most ambitious game in the series). As I played through with my brother we shuffled through an onslaut of options like music choices and modes like saving photos and replays it was amazing, and don't get me started with subspace emissary. The story mode was almost to much fun being so dramatic and hilarious, it really was something to behold. In super smash bros brawl there were a few more characters I found I had a great fondness for. They were Zelda & sheik, falco, marth, and the ice climbers whom I would not learn were from the previous instalment for some time and the newcomers were zero suit samus, Lucas, pit, toon link, and rob. It was also brawl that introduced me to my favorite video game franchises, like metroid, star fox, zelda, and f zero. When we first returned to the fighter select screen a memory from the past suddenly changed the way I looked at this game series. My life was suddenly just like the entangled crossover mess that was the game, it was like meeting an old friernd who had always been there, and it was then I decided super smash bros was the greatest video gaming experience of my life. Not long after completing brawl I discovered super smash bros melee instantly I new I had to own it, so I bought a copy and a GameCube cuz I didnt own one. It took me a stupid long time to unlock every character and stage (melee stages explained). I was surprised to learn that some characters in melee didn't make it to brawl, only one of wich I really fall in love with. Roy was one of many characters that were sadly cut from the next instalment. And I mean clones they were everywhere in melee and all but absent from from brawl. As for other characters I grew especially fond of the ice climbers and their gimmicky play style. Unfortunately super smash bros melee modes were a bit lackluster compared to brawl. Say for adventure mode wich was surprisingly deep, it really made you feel as if you were traversing through the games the characters belong to, unlike subspace emissary. But where I believe super smash bros melee really shines is in its game play and mechanics. It feels like a movie hopping around with explosions and lightning fast movements and it's technical input options that make the competitive scene so alluring (I'm a casual player BTW), unlike brawl wich is slow and sloppy and ssb64 wich in my opinion is worse. All things considered it is perhaps the most well put together game in the series.

Some time later super smash bros for Wii u and 3ds was announced, I was shocked, I believed ssbb was to be the last game in the series. I couldn't believe it, smash for handheld and home it was unreal. The first installment in the series I could truly enjoy the hype for, it was fun aside from being a skeptic of all the leaks that would later turn out to be true. First I shall say I accurately predicted paluteana would be a playable character, second the biggest surprise was definently pac-man (didn't think he'd  be possible), and third I was crushed to learn ice climbers would not make the cut because of the 3ds and I'd resent it for that reason. Not only that but I new the 3ds version would be inferior so I waited for the Wii u version. I stood out side the game store late at midnight to get my copy early. And I played for hrs, my favorite addition to the game had to be 8 player smash I allways wanted more action. I must say the roster of this game is one of if not the strangest with the cutting of semi clones like wolf and Lucas and the return of clones, specifically Dr Mario, of all the melee characters you'd choose to bring back why him over mewtwo, and the inclusion of dlc later. Nonetheless I did receive a few new characters to enjoy in paluteana, villager, the mii fighters, and corrin. Speaking of dlc I was not surprised by the announcement of mewtwo as dlc and I am glad both Roy and Lucas returned and Ryu I new you couldn't represent capcom with just megaman. The other game modes in Wii u and 3ds were interesting to say the least, target blast was fun but I still prefer target smash, master and crazy orders were amazing but hard, smash run was certainly the best thing about the 3ds version oh yah I did get a copy and a 3ds because I didn't have one. Oh and people, smash board isn't comparable to subspace emissary or world of light so, stop comparing them. The inclusion of amiibos really can make the game interesting but ultimately (pun intended) aren't very fun, however that won't stop me from buying all the amiibos I want. Now taking all this into account super smash bros for Wii u and 3ds allthough is flawed is also endlessly entertaining.

Then one day my partner came up to me and said, MERDY (thats my name) there's a new super smash bros game coming out. We watch the teaser and the thoughts just start rolling in, what characters will there be, what stages, what items, what modes, I was ready for all the answers but I would have to wait. I can say before the big "everyone is here" reveal I knew the ice climbers would return I also new there was no way they'd pass up another chance to add a story mode. World of light and spirits for that matter are probably the best thing to happen to smash, it's so complex and in depth it's creative and bewildering, it may not be as enveloped in worlds as adventure mode and we may not be able to enjoy the creative level design Masahiro Sakurai brought to subspace, however world of light has one thing the other two don't, customisation and the choice to play how you want, it's not as linear as adventure mode or subspace, and your fights aren't chosen for you. As for other game modes, I should first say 2 great new additions are video editing and vr mode, anyway you might as well go back and play some of the earlier installments in the franchise because ultimate leaves a little to be desired. Say for smash mode wich has lots of fun and well we can't talk about smash mode or super smash bros ultimate as a hole without mentioning it's shining star. The characters in super smash bros ultimate really make the game, I always dreamt that all the character from past installments would be in one game together. Of course I still had my predictions and surprises, first I accurately foresaw chrom, Simon, king k rool, technically hero (I really predicted erdrick only), and banjo & kazooie. Second I did not suspect, daisy, dark samus, and incineroar, although it was not a surprise ridley's presents in the game is highly appreciated for I am a huge metroid fan, BTW inkling was a no brainer. And I should mention the only new character I really enjoy playing is king k rool. Before the last section I wanna reminisce the things I'll miss about super smash bros. I'll really miss board the platforms, race to the finnish, 3d models of the characters and stages on select screens, event matches, coin launcher, boss battles, master and crazy orders, trophy rush, trophies, smash run, and good online gameplay... oh wait that was never a thing. I must state I'm sorry this story kind of turned into a critique, but super smash is first and foremost an experience and looking back now my life has be influenced by it, learning to grow strong and live big, and I can tell you super smash bros still is both a brotherly and love story for I still play with my brother and partner frequently. As for the future I can't say, ssbu is still growing and I personally believe it'll be Sakurai's last game in the franchise and video games are starting dwidle out of my life. Nonetheless it will be an unforgettable experience and I plan to continue to share it with all the world as it should be, being the largest crossover event in the history of entertainment, how can you even avoid it.

Waluigi for smash!!

 -------------------END-------------------

[daysswithyou]

V. Sungjin - Bet

Characters: Sungjin x You

Genre: enemies to lovers!6

Warning: some cursing and swearing

Credits: @7abshy and @parkjaeins; for helping me figure out how annoying teachers can be

Words: 5k

Description: There is always more than meets the eye

Author’s note: This wraps up the enemies to lovers!6 series :) I hope you’ve enjoyed all 5 of them! 

-----

I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, shit!

You repeatedly mouthed the words to yourself under your breath as you squeezed past the throng of people crowding the hallways, occasionally throwing an apology across your shoulder if you bumped into someone. Opting to not take the front entrance into the lecture hall, you ran up flights of stairs to reach the back entrance. By the time you reached the top, you were gasping for breath, your thighs were burning and you could feel the first beads of sweat roll down your back. Slipping through the crack of the heavy wooden door, you settled into the closest empty seat, trying to steady your breathing as your pants became too loud within the enclosed space.

Deep breaths Y/N, deep breaths...

You internally heaved a sigh of relief when you saw the empty podium in front, glad that your professor for this class will not have a bad impression of you.

But your relief was short-lived as the booming voice right next to you soon commanded for attention.

“Alright let’s get started, now that the last student is here.”

As he walks down the flight of stairs to reach the podium, it gives you enough time to observe the authoritative figure. His black leather jacket and ripped black jeans made him look exceptionally tough, and you swore you saw some male students flinch when he walked past them. His hair, which was the colour of warm chocolate, was too long and brushed against his eyelids.

He looks like a model that has just stepped out of a Harley Davidson advertisement.

But you mentally berated yourself for the inappropriate thought, and proceeded to haul it out of the window.

When he stepped onto the podium, he surveyed the whole room before starting again.

 “Good morning. My name is Park Sungjin and I’ll be your TA for this semester and for this class.”

 Ah, so this was the legendary Park Sungjin that you had heard so much about during your first semester. He was famous for being the top student of the graduating batch, with an impeccable portfolio to match. Apparently, he’s so good to the point that many companies and graduate schools have offered him a place amongst them. But, he is also notorious for being a tough TA and everyone’s advice was to just stay away from his bad side if you ever had the fortune (or misfortune) of being in his classes.

All you wanted was to pass this class peacefully so you made it your goal to not cross the line.

However, when he opens his mouth to give the next set of instructions, you knew that you were already on the wrong side of the line.

“So now, if you’re ready Ms Y/N, I’ll begin with the introduction on the topic.” Giving you one last hard glance, he turned to face the screen. Everyone else was furiously copying down notes, but not you.

He said my name, he knows who I am. I’ve been singled out.

It felt like someone had just passed you the death sentence.

-

A week passed by uneventfully and you tried your best to not attract attention to yourself in class. You were on time, and you were attentive in class. You never gave Sungjin trouble – or Mr Park, as you know him by now. Yet, such tactics did not work on him. You knew that you had his full attention when he stares at you from the front as he is giving lectures, even if you’re sitting in a last row. He’ll always linger a little longer behind you as write answers to the mini quizzes in class. You made the mistake of looking up at him once, and you nearly combusted under his hard gaze. What’s worse is that you can’t decide if he approves or disapproves of your work. Perhaps that was the most agonising part.

Today was no different. After handing up your papers for the quiz to the front, you attempted to slip away with the crowd but you just couldn’t slip past Park Sungjin’s attention.

“Y/N, could I have a word with you?”

You halted in your steps, his monotone voice sending chills down your spine.

Why me…

Squeezing your eyes shut and taking in a shaky breath, you turned around to face him before walking in his direction. Your steps were a little too hesitant and you were obviously clutching onto your bag too tightly because this was the first thing that Sungjin said when you finally stood in front of him.

“You can loosen your grip on your bag strap, your knuckles are turning white.”

“O-o-oh. It’s a habit, sorry.”

“What time do your lessons end today, Y/N?”

“6pm. My last lesson is Introduction to Psychology.”

“Good. Meet me at Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences block, 6.30pm sharp.”

“Yes. Anything else…?”

“That’s all. You may go now.”

Giving Sungjin a curt bow, you scurried out of the lecture hall as fast as you could, dreading the time when you had to see him again.

 6.30pm came too early for your liking, and you soon found yourself face to face with Sungjin once more. A thick stack of papers were sitting by the corner of the table beside him and you knew immediately.

“I’m here to grade papers?”

“More or less; I’ll be giving the final grade and you can help me critique.”

You simply nodded before assuming the seat in front of him.

The next time you looked up, your neck popped up with a loud crack and the clock read 12am. Sungjin kept you thoroughly occupied for the past few hours, papers being presented to you in a systematic manner. You’ve said more words to him a few hours than you’ve said to all your professors combined last semester. While disguised as ‘extra exposure’ for you, deep down you knew that this was Sungjin’s special torture method – and you finally understood what others meant by getting on his bad side.

But the torture didn’t end there.

“Y/N, don’t forget that we have an assignment due the next day. Oh, and don’t be late. See you tomorrow.”

Everything sounds really innocent but you knew what Sungjin really meant was “Don’t mess up tomorrow Y/N.”

You wanted to let out a sigh of frustration but instead you swallowed it and merely replied with a spritely “Yes” before leaving the office.

 -

And this went on for months. Every single time Sungjin gave your class a quiz, you would find yourself in the conference room with him grading papers; sometimes at the expense of your own work. It gradually extended to grading papers from his other classes, but never once did you complain. You knew better than to argue with teachers, much less Sungjin. Every time he looks at you, your words die in your throat; how on earth were you supposed to hold an argument with him? But, of course, when you were back in the comfort of your dorm, which was when you were cursing and swearing at him. At one point in time, your roommate almost called an exorcist, thoroughly freaked out by the way you were flaying your limbs in the air as you continued screaming in frustration.

Needless to say, the late nights left with less sleep, and little energy to pay attention. You were up till 4am last night (or should you say morning), rushing out assignments due today for 2 different classes. You had burst into Sungjin’s lecture hall a good 20 minutes late but in your state, you didn’t care anymore. As usual, you settled into the closest seat you could find, one hand combing through the tangles in your hair, the other rummaging through your bag for your lesson materials. But you were so thoroughly exhausted that you fell asleep 10 minutes later, you pen stopping midway across your paper.

The next time you regain consciousness was when Sungjin’s voice calling your name rang through the speakers.

“So, Ms Y/N, what do you think of the question I just raised?”

You awoke with a start and you scattered your stationary across the floor in the process. You could hear the whole hall snickering at your blunder; save for the few kids sitting around you that helped you pick up your stray pens.

What was the question even? That was the most urgent question for you to answer. You shot a hard look at Sungjin, one that said, “How dare you call me when I’m in this state because of YOU.”

You were sure that he understood your gaze, but he merely raised an eyebrow, as he always did. It was the one that you recognised as “Go on, I’m waiting for your answer.” You knew that there was no way out of this except to answer his question. Panicking, you stared at the last word you wrote in your notebook before rattling off.

“The most famous poem from the Old English period, widely recognised by most is Beowulf. And for – ”

“Oh Ms Y/N, I didn’t know that Scandinavians spoke Old English in the late 10th century. Clearly, someone needs to keep her eyes and ears open. Also, I asked for your opinion, not of those from the 10th century.”

From beneath his long locks, Sungjin gave you a mischievous glint and smirked at you as the entire hall erupted into raucous laughter. Everyone was laughing, except you. Everyone found this funny, except you. Everyone was in a good mood, but you were livid.

How.fucking.dare.you.Park.fucking.Sungjin. I’m suffering in class now because of all your stupid “extra exposure” work after school. Yet you purposely picked on me to answer your question, knowing full well that I can’t. Why do you like picking on me so much? Why do you like embarrassing me in class so much? WHY PARK SUNGJIN!!!

You might have felt better if you actually said it out loud, but you didn’t. You just kept repeating this thought to yourself like a mantra until the end of the lesson.

It’s ok Y/N, just another 30mins of sitting in this hall and looking at his face. Afterwards you can leave and get yourself some ice cream to make yourself feel better. Yes, that’s right… everything is going to be ok Y/N...

But that day, things were not ok and you left the hall in a foul mood. For the final project of the year, you were paired up with Song Jihyo, the girl in class that was notorious for not doing her work.

Its official, Park Sungjin hates me and wants me to burn in Hell. That day, your whole body ached at the thought of more late nights and instead of eating your ice cream, you remembered hurling it at an innocent, nearby tree.

-

Everything that you thought would happen did happen. It’s as the saying goes, “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.” And in this case, you were helpless against its happening. The only time that you talked to Jihyo was deciding on the thesis and after that, she was virtually uncontactable. You eventually gave up trying to arrange a time to meet to do up the thesis; you merely assigned her parts – which, to be fair, she did do. But they were of such poor quality you ended up deleting most of it and redoing it yourself. But no matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed fresh and you decided to bite the bullet and ask for help.

Lucky for you, Mr Kim was in class today and you immediately ran to him for help.

“Good morning Mr Kim. I have some questions about the final project thesis, is it alright if I ask a few questions?”

“Ah Y/N aren’t you? I’ve heard so much about you from Sungjin! I’ll be glad to help, let me take a look.”

Eagerly, you showed him what you had done so far and when he smiled, you felt a small smile creep onto your face, silently happy that you had gained his approval. But soon, the smile was wiped off your face.

“First of all, an excellent thesis choice, I must say. I remember Sungjin doing something similar for my class 3 years ago, why don’t you ask him for help? He is in a better position to help than I am.”

“Yes sir, I’ll ask Sung- I mean, Mr Park. Yes, I’ll ask Mr Park for advice. Thank you.”

With a light pat on your shoulder, he left you alone and when you turned, you found Park Sungjin standing right in front of you.

“I heard you need help?”

“Yes...” You hated it; you hated having to admit that you needed help from Park Sungjin.

“Hand it over.”

Reluctantly, you passed him your phone and turned to the side, not wanting to see his face further.

When he finally passed back the phone to you, you didn’t feel any more enlightened.

“You can do better than this.”

“What do you mean? That isn’t helpful!”

“That’s all I have to say. You know what to do, so do it.”

“I don’t! I don’t know what to do, which is why I’m asking for help!”

“Then sit down and figure it out.”

So that’s how it’s going to be – you won’t give me a consultation when I need it the most. Fine.

But that was not what you said. You said this instead, “Ok, I’ll figure it out.”

From then onwards, without help from anyone, you trudged through the group thesis yourself. This was on top of the individual thesis that each of you had to prepare for. You were literally typing so much (or rather, punching) your keyboard so hard that one of the keys fell out and you had to send your laptop for repairs. Not only was school draining your sanity, it was also draining your money. Due to the delay in repairing your laptop, you were left with a week to finish half of your thesis.

The outcome: later nights and heavier eye bags. By now, you were too tired to curse and swear at Sungjin for the terrible grouping since it was already taking insane willpower from you to even show up in class. You merely bottled up your indignation, and kept working to avoid thinking about it. After placing the stack of papers in Sungjin’s letter tray, you went back to your dorm and crashed for 12 hours straight.

This signalled the start of your 1 week break, and one week of not seeing Park Sungjin.

Thank goodness.

-

The next time you saw Park Sungjin, you were glad that it was the last time that you would have to see him. After all the torture he had put you through for the past semester, you were glad that you’ll be done with him now.

Yet, as always, Park Sungjin manages to make your life a living hell till the end.

Group Thesis: C

Individual Thesis: E

Overall: D

Comments for Individual Thesis: Clear presentation of key ideas and mostly factually correct. Choice of thesis could be better.

Signed: Park Sungjin

Choice of thesis could be better. Park Sungjin failed me, just because he didn’t like my topic.

You were brought out from your shock by a large shove from behind. Whipping around, you found a smiley Jihyo in front of you and her next words made you want to punch her in her perfect little teeth.

“Thank you for helping me pass the class Y/N! How much did you get?”

Without your consent, she ripped your papers from your hands before handing them back to you with a frown.

“That’s odd; we had the same choice of individual thesis, why did you do worse?” But Jihyo had no time to contemplate on the answer to her question when she was dragged away by her friends to celebrate their good grades.

I can tolerate everything that Park Sungjin has put me through, but not this.

Running up to Sungjin, you stopped him from leaving before asking to see him.

“Do you have time now?”

“Yes. What is this about?”

“This is about my thesis, can we talk somewhere else?”

“Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences building in 10 minutes, I need to talk to Mr Kim first.”

“Ok.”

You were going to clear this once and for all.

-

“So, what is it about your thesis, Y/N?”

“You failed me just because you didn’t like my topic, didn’t you?”

You’ve rehearsed this part many times in your head and this wasn’t how it was supposed to sound like. It was supposed to sound polite and less accusatory, but fuck that. You wanted answers, and if you had to demand it from him, you will.

“Yes, I did. What’s the issue with it?”

“It’s not fair.”

“Nothing is fair in this world Y/N; I thought you’d know that by now.”

“Yes, I do know that. But what you’re doing is not only unfair, but also downright discriminatory.”

“How so?”

“Jihyo told me that we both had the same choice of thesis, and I got and E and she got a B. My grades are clearly a personal attack against my character. You never liked me from the start, I get it. But it’s wrong to simply disregard my entire thesis because you didn’t like the topic! What is wrong with this topic? It’s within the list of topics that you’ve given us, I met the word count, I met deadlines. I did everything!”

“And I’m supposed to give you a A for that?”

"I’m not saying you have to give me an A for it. I'm just trying to prove the fact that – " "A fact is already a fact, you don't have to prove it." "God damn it Sungjin! Would you just lay off me for a second? Would it kill for you to not correct my grammar for once? Would it kill you to not pick on me for one second?" "It's Mr Park, for you. It still is. And no, I won't lay off your grammar – you are an English language major that has taken my class, there is no way that I'm allowing you to continue to speak with bad grammar." "I hate you." "That can technically count as swearing at a teacher. Are you testing my patience?" "No. I'm just saying that it's not fair for you to give me a bad grade just because you did not like my choice of thesis. That's just being biased." "I'm not changing your grade." "I can't fail this module Sungjin! I need to pass this module to go for the Advanced English module. Yes, it's not a perfect thesis but I don't deserve to fail for this!" "Welcome to the real world Y/N." "I hate you Sungjin. I really fucking do." You pick up your bag and slam the door on your way out. That night, for the first time, you cried. And you hated the fact that you were crying over stupid Park Sungjin.

-

The next day, you awoke with puffy eyes but nonetheless, you showed up for lessons. You nearly bumped into Sungjin on your way to Psychology but you immediately detoured. You couldn’t get close to him – you might just punch him and be charged for assaulting a teacher.

That evening, you had just ended lessons when your phone buzzed and Sungjin’s name lit up on your screen.

Mr Park: You have another chance to redo your thesis and not fail the class. Deadline is January 20th, 2 weeks from now. Papers in my tray at 6pm sharp; don’t be late for the submission.

You swiped his notification away quickly, but you remembered the words and that night, you began sourcing for more ideas for your individual thesis.

For the next 3 days, Sungjin just wouldn’t leave you alone. Your phone buzzed with his name every now and then, and he was so distracting that you nearly wanted to block his number.

Mr Park: Are you going to resubmit your thesis?

Mr Park: Have you chosen a thesis yet?

Mr Park: What is your choice of thesis? How many words in?

Mr Park: Do you need help? Just drop me a message; I can help you check your thesis.

Help me with my thesis? Is he playing saint now? As if I’m going to accept help from him.

As you turned your attention back to your screen, you found that a shadow has fallen in front of your laptop. You found yourself staring at a pair of familiar, battered, black Converse and looking up only confirmed your suspicions. The man was here in person – Park Sungjin.

“Why aren’t you replying my messages?”

Why must I hold myself accountable to you? Buzz off.

You continued typing, completely ignoring Sungjin. You heard him sigh before inviting himself to sit in front of you.

“Y/N, what is your thesis? Hey, answer me. I came all the way down here to find you.”

“You came here voluntarily, I didn’t ask for your help. You can leave.”

“You’re still angry at me?”

Of course I am, you asshole. You’re just asking the obvious.

With each thought, you punched the keys on your keyboard harder.

“Stop typing so hard, you’ll spoil your keyboard. Working in spite is not going to produce quality work Y/N.”

Without your consent, he lifted your laptop into the air and onto his lap and scrolled through your entire document for 15 minutes. Passing it back to you with a smile, you stared at him in shock for 5 minutes.

Park Sungjin never smiles; did he just smile at me?

“You did it.”

“What did I do?”

“You figured it out. This was the choice of thesis I wanted you to choose in the very first place. Furthermore, you’ve chosen the correct area to focus on.”

“Thank you… I thought…”

“What did you think about?”

“I thought I might not be on the right track. But your words makes me feel a little more reassured now.”

“Well, I’ll leave you alone now.”

Park Sungjin then took his leave, but he was lying when he said he’ll leave you alone. He never did. Till the submission deadline, he visited you every alternate day.

As expected, you got an A for your individual thesis.

-

When you got an email from Mr Kim saying that he wanted to meet you, you thought you were doomed; most likely a disciplinary case on your head after what you said to Sungjin. But turns out, it was an interview for the Advanced English course, and they passed you immediately. When you walked out of the room still stunned that that you had entered the course of your choice, you found Sungjin waiting outside for you, almost like he knew you were going to be there.

“They passed you didn’t they?”

“Huh?”

Hearing his voice reminded you of what Mr.Kim said to you just now:

“We’ve received high commendations of you, Ms Y/N. All the professors pushed for your recommendation into the course, and Sungjin, especially. He was the first one to mention offering you a place in the course. He spoke of your remarkable working attitude.”

“May I ask something?”

“Yes, anything at all.”

“What exactly did Mr Park say about me?”

“He mentioned that you work well even under immense stress and long hours, catching up really fast even if you fell behind. But, most importantly, he spoke of your willingness to try again after failure. That is the most important quality that we are looking out for: tenacity. We have no doubt that you’ll be a suitable candidate to enter this demanding course. We would love to offer you a place, should you choose to accept.”

“I would love to, thank you. Thank you to the faculty and professors for having me.”

Sungjin hates me, why would be recommend me for the course?

“Follow me.”

Taking him by the wrist, you dragged Sungjin all the way to the bridge in the school park before letting him go.

“What’s with the rush, Y/N?”

Hands on your hips, you turned to face Sungjin with wide eyes, your lips set firmly in a thin line.

“I don’t understand you Sungjin. First, you torture me in lessons by making me so many extra work and now you’re putting in good words for me and recommending me for my dream course? Did you suddenly decide that you like me more now overnight?”

“Ah, so they told you everything I said. Mr Kim promised to not tell, I should have known he wouldn’t keep to it.”

“You’re still not answering my questions.”

“I’m getting there. First of all, that extra work was not torture, they were a test. I loaded you with many things to see how much you can handle before you snapped but thankfully and luckily for me, you never did.”

“I did silently curse and swear at you.”

“That is a given. But you didn’t say it out loud, so it doesn’t count. You’ve proven to – ”

“To be able to work well under immense pressure and long hours.”

“Yes. That is an important quality for taking any Advanced courses. I took the same course with the same professors that you’ll be having so I know how intense it was. I had to put you under pressure to see if my bet was correct.”

“I was your bet?”

“Yes, I was betting on you all along. You have great potential.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh? I thought someone hated me before.”

“Like you said, that was before. I don’t anymore. What you put me through was tough, but they did teach me more about myself and my limits. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now that I’ve managed to help you get a place in your course, I think it’s time to return the favour?”

“What’s your proposal?”

“Come to my graduation ceremony next spring. It’s in April.”

“Ok. That’s all?”

“That’s all for now.”

But when a soft smile lights up Sungjin’s face, you knew there was more in store for the both of you in time to come.

-

April 20th

You had come early to get front row seats and as you watch Sungjin give a speech representing the graduating batch, your heart swells with pride. You’ve seen him work very hard for the past one semester and to see him being handed his graduation certificate made you feel like all his efforts paid off.

You were the last to greet Sungjin because there was simply too many people crowding around him. You watch from afar and you giggle when you see Sungjin frantically asking Kang Younghyun if he’s seen you around. He does this thing where his eyes grow big like saucers, so big that you thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. You could also hear the fear in his voice – he speaks a little faster and slips into the Busan dialect. So when you greet him by gently tapping him on the shoulder, he whips around so fast the wind nearly knocked you over. But when you see his facial expression melt from one of worry into one of happiness, you nearly melt into a puddle there and then. You’d given anything to see those sparkly eyes and sweet smile.

“Ah finally you’re here Y/N! I saw you in the front row just now but then afterwards I didn’t so I was worried that you left but I haven’t got a photo with you yet. I was so sad  because I haven’t asked you my question yet – ”

“Calm down Sungjin! I’m here now right? Also, happy graduation! I got this for you.”

Proudly, you hold up the bear plushie you had custom made for him, decked out in the exact same graduation gown that he had on right now.

“It looks like you, right? I named him Bang!”

“Why Bang?”

“Because you always say goodbye in a very cute manner and Bang seems like a cute name to capture that cuteness. Also, I gave him eyelashes! When you observe the details, he really looks like you right?”

When Sungjin finally notices the eyelashes, he bursts out laughing and you swore your heart nearly stopped. When he finally stopped laughing and took over the bear from you, he finally remembered the question he wanted to ask you.

“Y/N- ah…”

“Yes?”

“If I ask you out…will you say yes?”

Just to tease him a little, you decided to look up at the sky, and contemplate your answer for a little while.

“I don’t know…maybe?”

“You can’t do this to me! I waited so long to ask you this question!”

“Why did you wait so long then?”

“I had to wait till I graduated. It wouldn’t be right for a teacher to ask his student out right?”

“That’s true…but I still don’t know if I’d go out with you. How about we make a bet?”

“With what?”

“With a coin. You flip a coin and I’ll decide. Which side are you confident of getting?”

“Heads, I always flip a head.”

“Ok, go ahead then. Heads for I’ll go out with Park Sungjin and tails for…”

With utmost concentration, Sungjin flips the coin and slams his palm over it when it lands. Opening his palm, his face immediately becomes crestfallen: staring back at him was a tail.

But you haven’t finished your sentence yet.

“Tails for…I’ll still go out with you anyways!” you said, as you gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Really? You would?”

“Ask any more questions and I’ll reconsider.”

“Ok, ok I won’t ask any more questions! What do you want to eat?”

“Fried chicken!”

“Oh, I was betting that you’ll say fried chicken!”

“Betting on fried chicken is great Park Sungjin, but I'm betting on something else now.”

Sungjin turns to look at you and he says, "So, what are you betting on now?"

"I'm betting that you'll give me a kiss."

"Really? How are you so sure?"

"I know you Park Sungjin, I know you'll do it. So, am I getting a kiss or not?" 

Without another word, Sungjin closes the space between the both of you, so close that if either moved, your lips would touch. You closed your eyes and waited for the impact, but instead you felt something soft press into your forehead and you immediately smiled. 

"Not where I was expecting, but ok Sungjin."

"I'm saving the best for the last."

"I'm holding you accountable for that statement."

"You can bet your life on it that I'll fulfill it."

Not only was he your best bet, he was your favourite bet too.

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 197

Trey

It's taking everything in me not to fucking snap at Cammie. She is doing too much. She should have stayed her ass in Virginia. Caden did perfectly fine on the jet. Slept the entire time. Cammie held him the entire time crying. Now she still fucking crying. It's been an hour since we dropped him off with Rollie and April. Lane was the happiness of all. He was overjoyed about Caden going to his grandma house with him. I don't know why.

"Hey. No."

"Who you talking to?" I ask Cammie.

She sigh. "I don't know. Yeah."

I snatch the phone. It's April. "Cammie stop fucking calling them."

"She called me." she whines.

"Ma."

"Tremaine, shut up. I just wanted to see if you made it to the hotel yet."

"But you know she going throu..."

April cuts me off. "I know. I know. I sent pictures. I'm trying to be as understanding as possible not to make her unwilling to do it again. Well anyway. Call me later. I'll let you call. Bye, Tweety."

Wow. Worst than fucking Cammie. I keep her phone then touch her leg. I always feel like I'm fighting with her trying to get her to be a bad mother. It doesn't make any sense. Do other people go through this? Is it just her?

"I will send you to Mama's house. You can get right back on the plane."

"I'm okay, Tremaine. I'm sorry, okay? Im trying to be focused on you right now."

I look at her. "But you acting..."

"Like I've been crying for two days and barely sleeping. I was without Lane for only hours when he was this age. So far I've had to be away from Caden so much and he was so sick at one point. It's so hard to trust anyone with my premature baby. You were forced to be away from the beginning. You can handle this better than I can. Plus he doesn't need your milk."

"My fucking silk is important."

"Silk?"

I rub her leg. "I know, Cammie."

She sighs. "I love you though."

"Do you? You don't fucking mind leaving me."

"Actually..." she says leaning her breast on me. "You leave me."

I grab her thigh. "Yeah?"

She rubs on my crest. "You do, Tremaine. All the time."

"Damn, baby, make me feel like shit."

"I already do." she says hugging me. "I always give you shit about it. That's why I want to go with you. I don't have to. I know. I could have fought you to keep my fucking kids. The police would have helped. Blogs. Social media would have been on fire. Trey Songz arrested for kidnapping his own kids after wife files for divorce."

"Did you think about all this?"

She giggles. "I just made it up."

I let it go. It sounded too good to be made up. Damn, I know how she could fuck up my whole existence. She giggling about the shit and it sounds like a fucking sure fire way to end me. Police investigation, blogs, show cancelations, the whole 9 yards. I snap out of my trance and look at her. She was getting out of the car. I exhale and step out of the car. She grabs my wrist pulling me towards the hotel.

"This is my favorite hotel." she says once we are inside.

"You being so..."

"Trey Songz!" someone yells.

Cammie takes a deep breath and walks towards the front desk. "Excuse me!"

A man steps from an open door. "Yes. Oh, hey. One second. Lauren, the special guest. Yes. Thank you."

"I can take them." Someone says from behind his. "Right this way. We will bring your bags up."

"Thanks." Cammie says.

Its a guy. He smiles really hard at Cammie. Motherfucker. He presses the elevator button then he turns to us. Nigga don't start talking. He smiles again then he ushers us into the elevator.

"It's been a while Cammie. I thought you found a new favorite hotel."

"Never." she says.

He leaves it at that. First name basis. I turn my lips up at her. She was very excited about this damn hotel. Is it really her favorite hotel? Who the hell booked her favorite hotel? Shit who even knows? I touch her side. She hugs me.

"How did you know about this? It's even the right room." she asks.

I hug her from behind so we both can go through the door at the same time. "As much as I would like to take credit for this I can't."

"I thought we were going to be in whatever hotel Cole in."

"He leasing a condo for the week. Nigga say his blood too rich for a hotel."

I walk around the room. It's like a honeymoon suite. The bed was round with a mirror on the wall. There was a dinner table in the room already set up with candles and silver plates. It is a very nice hotel room. It's hard for hotel rooms to impress me. I've been in so many top notch hotels and houses that it takes more. This room has moved up to my top spots.

"Could I get you anything?" the usher asks.

"No." I say handing him a tip.

Another staff member was putting our bags down as the other leaves. They are quick. Cammie comes up to me scaring me. She giggles then pull my torso with all of her weight. I move towards her.

"Let's get in the this tub."

"There's your tip sir." I say putting it down as Cammie pulls me away from the table.

"Thank you."

The bathroom was about the size of the actual room. The floors were made of rocks and there was a jacuzzi in the floor. Cammie was way too excited about this damn room. I kiss on her as she takes her clothes off. She pushes me as if I'm annoying her. I start kissing her hands. She pushes me again then she abandons her clothes and take mine off.

"I don't trust an already filled hot tub." I say looking behind her.

"I just filled it up."

I look at the water. "Thats not a small tub. You want me to believe it filled up in seconds?"

"You think I don't know how to critique high class shit?"

"I do think that. Hours ago you were planning on wearing the same outfit within the same week."

She giggles. "Get in the tub."

I do the opposite. "You don't fucking tell me what to do my nigga."

"No?"

"Nope."

I hear a door shut. I turn around. It's the bathroom door. I grab the friut and wine off of the bed. The bathroom door locks. I laugh. Oh so she is going to lock me out? I pick up the card that is left on the tray. Its a note from the staff to their honorary guest. Well, damn, why the hell everyone loves Cammie so much? I'm the one to ask that. I chuckle to myself. There's a second note. It was from Ma.

"That sounds about right. Jayla!"

"Fuck you."

I lean on the door. "Jay, let me in."

"Nope."

"Baby." I start singing. "Jayla let me in. I'll make it up to you. Kiss where you want me to."

The door slides open. I stand up off of the door. She stands there naked.

"Now what you say."

"Nothing." I shake my head.

She takes the glass from me. "Why did you only bring one in here?"

"Cause you don't drink."

"You don't know what I do in my spiritually happy place. This is where I went after I called you to tell you I'm pregnant. I haven't been here since we were together I don't think. Lane likes this place too. We soak in the rain tub all night. He just used to sit there like he knew this was Mommy time."

I smile at her. "How is it a rain tub?"

She steps into the water. It magically starts bubbling as a waterfall falls down into the water. I sit everything down on the table top that sat next to the tub. Something I have never seen in a hotel bath tub. I pour the wine into the glass then I get into the tub.

"This is perfect." I say.

"Isn't it?" she smiles sipping the wine.

I go over to her and start kissing her neck. It is perfect. From her to the room. A connection I feel like we never had til now. It's hard to really explain. The moment just made me feel like we got closer. Didn't think I could get anymore into her.

                                                  **********************

 "Tremaine?"

"Ma."

She chuckles. "I'm surprised it was you that called me first."

I look at Cammie. "She sleep. Ma, that girl hasn't slept ever since the topic came of taking her kids. She was acting like someone was taking them for good."

"She is so sensitive. Did she like her surprise?"

"Thank you. She loves this hotel. I should fucking buy it she likes it so much. Did you know she had a whole history with this hotel?"

"Yeah, I do my research. I wasn't going to let the first outing you had in minths be shared with one of your friends."

I shake my head. "I was planning a nice night for the two of us instead of going out with Cole."

"Of course. Make her feel like she intruding instead of belonging. Now if she doesn't want to do what the two of you are doing she has her favorite spot. Tremaine, I'm thinking long term. Maybe she will do it more often."

"April, you want a fucking purple heart?"

She giggles. "I would..."

Caden starts screaming in the background. Ma moves around then Caden stops. A few seconds later he is crying again.

"What's wrong with him, Ma?"

"He is spoiled." Ma says. "He was doing fine all day. Rollie. Hm?"

Cammie touches my side. "Is that my baby crying?"

Caden stops again before I could say anything. Technically no. It's quiet for a few seconds as everyone waits to see if he is done crying. Seconds later he starts screaming again. April calls me on video. When I answer a crying Caden was in front of the phone. Rollie had him.

"Hey, Mommy's Toy Soldier. Why are you crying? You miss me?" Cammie smiles. He opens his eyes staring at her and crying. "Oh you just being fussy. Is your brother sleeping?"

"No. Lane does not sleep here." April says. "Lane!"

"Lane can make him stop crying." Cammie giggles. "I'm glad he crying."

April sucks her teeth. "Thanks for your brutal honesty."

Lane comes in the room yelling. "What you say Grandma?"

"I love when I'm grandma." she says.

"Hey, Lane." Cammie says.

He comes to the phone. "Mommy come here tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Mommy Nanma make you Caden cry."

"Can you tell him to stop crying?"

Lane start talking really fast then he looks at the phone. I don't know what he is talking about.

"Hey, Daddy."

"What's up, Lane?"

He frowns. "Nanma make Caden cry."

"Lane, I did not make Caden cry. There is nothing wrong with him."

"Caden sleepy." Lane says.

I laugh. "Lane is an expert at this shit."

Lane starts pouting. "I don't want to go to sleep."

"Nobody making you go to sleep, Baby." April says.

"Ma, put them on the bed together. Tell Lane to go play the game that Caden likes to play on his tablet."

Lane looks at the phone. "Okay, Mommy."

"Okay, sweetie."

"Grandma!" Lane yells running. "I be back."

Caden was still crying. April gets him back then starts rocking him and the phone. Cammie lies back on the bed.

"Ma, call us back if he doesn't stop crying when Lane plays the game with him."

"Okay, Baby."

I lay on top of Cammie. She was looking sad like she wanted to cry. She is a big baby with her bucket of tears. I kiss on her back and shoulder. She turns over all the way on her stomach. With her being naked I don't know if that means leave me alone or fuck me. I take it as her invitation. I grab my dick as it swells on demand. Cammie moans then glances back at me. I slide into her. Shit still goes from 0 to 100 with us. I love that. No matter what was happening two seconds ago she can get me lost in her. I lay down on her hugging her body close to mine. She gasps letting out a soft moan.

"Tremaine."

"Huh? Say name again."

She exhale. "You say mine."

I bite on her shoulder. "Jayla. Jayla."

"Only I can hear that."

I couldn't concentrate on what the hell she meant by that. My attention was on her pussy. I reach under her and grab her forbidden tittie. She puts her hand on top of my hand. I squeeze her tittie. Everything is all under control until Cammie starts moving these money making hips. She lifts her hips off the bed. I don't stop. She starts moving them. I close my eyes tight and squeeze on her tittie.

"Say it louder." She whispers.

"You want me to yell your name?" I open my eyes.

She pushes back against me. "Yes."

I exhale. She had me in another place now. "Jayla! I'll sing it for you. J-ay-la!"