#i have some therapy recommended but thats understandable

[ilynpilled]

hi guys i was in an accident and had to be in the hospital for a while but im home now

[seithr]

i went to lunch with my dad today and with regards to pride month starting it came up in conversation

today's revelations

my mom knew i was "a homosexual" already based on a different time I brought it up in the past but I assumed was forgotten

so her blowing up on me a few weeks ago for coming out AGAIN was needless drama and exaggerration and screaming

—that has left me with a fear response to certain words and clothing and locations now.

My Dad: Yeah she'd called me about "I don't want MY child being a homosexual" not long after your trip to her gay friend's wedding which I thought was really hypocritical of her to say.

...before this trip I'd argued with her about her hidden partner, where she said, quote "don't i deserve to be happy? don't i deserve happiness with someone?"

huh.

anyways my dad is now inviting me to pride.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hi im really sorry to bother you, and obvs you dont need to answer this at all im just some internet guy lol but do you think i could get some advice?

so ive been diagnosed with autism for like, 5 years (was diagnosed p late, in comparison to others) and im beginning to have some real goddamn big suspicions that i Also have adhd (because. yaknow. the gift that keeps on giving yk? lol). i have a lot of really major issues with executive dysfunction that is directly impacting schoolwork and also a lot of stuff in my life, generally. ive also got a lot of memory issues nd junk

and the thing is; ive got a therapist, but due to a whole slew of things im really scared to like, bring this up with her yk? and, like, im a minor so i cant exactly just seek it out myself yk? and i cant really talk to my parents about it because my mom is a very specific kind of vaguely ableist and my dad generally just isnt involved with that whole section of my being, yk? like, he doesnt manage any of my therapy, aside from bringing me to appointments when my mother isnt available.

and like, ive brought certain things UP to my therapist before and it went mostly ok, aside from one pretty distressing misunderstanding but it feels different for this one because i really do need medication for this, i feel. and thats a whole thing with my mother specifically, since at the start of the whole diagnosis process she outright refused the idea of medication and like. idk man, im so super sorry to write a whole bullshit essay when you're literally just vibing but yk. idk who else to ask lol, and you seem like you know what youre doing i guess?

real sorry. thanks in advance. insert other applicable signoff message here

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Your therapist should be someone you can talk to about things like this but I understand being anxious about it. Are you afraid to bring it up because she's said ableist/anti-adhd stuff in the past or you have reason to suspect she won't help? If that's the case I really recommend trying to get a different therapist if you can. You deserve a therapist you feel safe sharing things like this with.

If it's impacting schoolwork it might be worth talking to your teachers to see if there's any additional support you can get from them. You don't have to tell them you suspect ADHD if you don't want to, you can just tell them you've been struggling with certain aspects of school and hopefully they can help. School is hard for lots of people so know you're not alone.

It might be different where you live, but in the UK you're able to make your own doctors appointments if you're over 16 so asking a doctor about getting a referral for a diagnosis/medication could be an option as well. Although waiting lists for that are incredibly long at the moment - I've personally been waiting nearly a year just to get an appointment 🙃

In the meantime, have you heard of How to ADHD on YouTube? Her channel has lots of videos with advice and various discussions about living with ADHD which you might find helpful.

Sorry I don't know if that helped much but I hope you're able to get support soon!

[honeytonedhottie]

Hello, tbh I am very open here because you give me big sister vibes so the question (if you don't have time to read through everything): How do I like (if this makes sense) factory reset my mind,body and soul (if you know what I mean) like start from scratch, let go of my past and how I missed all my childhood days. I don't mind the process I want to improve...self concept tips, I am super lost, how do I get my life together...where do I start? quick summary for clear understanding, the coming years in my life is huge because college and moving out of my home tbh the past few years I was and still am not up to the mark but I want to do better, like my mind is always racing and my body looks good (ik) but I am not that healthy. P.S. I am always grateful for your work, waiting for your reply, with love cam.

hi cam 💗 thanks for the question i'd love to help as much as i possibly can 💗💗💗

RESET ; to start off, understand that every minute, second, every time u BREATHE thats a clean state. a clean canvas for u to paint out whatever u want ur reality to look like. if u dont know ab loa i HIGHLY recommend understanding it bcuz your life WILL change, and my blog is a good source to get started on ur loa journey

so u can always start from scratch again as many times as u want 💗

LETTING GO OF THE PAST ;

mental - i noticed that u mentioned u missed childhood days, so if therapy is accessible to u, then invest in therapy. but if ur resources r limited rn that start journalling, shadow work, inner child work etc

i have shadow work prompts and self healing resources on my blog, so thats a place to start <3

once u take the time to explore the deepest depths of ur psyche and ur habits, ur trauma, and urself in general, we have ENDLESS sources online that can help u manage and deal with them.

physical - practice self care, start moving ur body in ways that feel good for you, take time to work on the big parts, and the little details of ur appearance bcuz it'll make u feel a lot better if u feel like u look good.

health - start consuming foods that are good for ur body. start small, little by little every day and eventually it'll snowball into completely different eating habits. make sure that ur seeing ur doctor when u should if ur having health problems but most health problems can be solved with the way that u eat, and the quality of food that u consume.

goals and focus - know what ur goal is. know what ur aiming for and then do actions that align with who u wanna be

goals and focus is the most important category bcuz since every individual is so different and unique and since we all have different goals and aspirations, u need to know where ur going. where u are right now, and where u wanna be. thats something for YOU to decide, but when u have a clear picture of where u wanna be then you'll know how to get started on it.

when u have a goal this creates passion, and when motivation isn't enough, we have discipline and passion. so becoming passionate about ur life and ur goals will help u stay on the right track.

some other things that help :

mentors - mentors dont have to be ppl that u know, they can simply be ppl who have similar goals and morals as u and that u admire

hobbies

practicing gratitude

journaling (im a huge advocate for journaling)

support from the ppl around u

[lizzibennet]

Hiii you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but what made you realise you were a lesbian rather than bi? As someone who has always identified as bi since discovering the concept of it, sometimes I really do wonder.

Or do u think of it as more fluidly- something that changes with the time of life and people you surround yourself with and other factors.

And are all the sexuality phases you have been through just as valid as the current one or can the past be negated by the strong sense of change at that moment?

Idk I just want your thoughts on it (again feel free to ignore!) (Ps: also i would love to hear your recommendation on bi lit books, fiction or otherwise!!)

sooooo to put it very simply, i realized my “attraction” to men was actually just a sense of me wanting to get recognition and validation from them. this was truly SHOCKING to me as i’ve always considered myself a pretty independent person who didn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks, and on a surface level that is true, but this was something unconscious, in such a deep level that i needed help in therapy to be able to understand it! there was just something about being *desired* by men that made me feel good, but things like, say, sex or the actual romantic relationships i pursued with them were never fulfilling to me, emotionally or physically. i also was always into men who just were not good to me and i sought it out, i think, as a form of self harm. i just thought that’s how i was! and then i met my girlfriend and just so much slotted into place. i think a lot is different because she is the love of my life, but i also needed to admit how many things seemed to be different because she is a woman, how many things are good and easy with her and were good and easy with my ex gf but were terrible headaches when dating my ex bfs. so much of my demeanor just unconsciously changed when we started dating and i felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, like i didn’t need to “perform” as a woman as much, and as someone who DI DN’T think i performed before i knew there was something to examine there. truly there is so much!!!! a lot of my life seems to make more sense now! i always had a little bit of doubt and even tested the label when i was like 16 but in the end i just realized even if the gf and i broke up i would simply never want to date a man again ever in my life and would only ever pursue women from then on. i also realized the things i did like about the men i dated were simply things i could get from friends. i could never be wholly fulfilled only being friends with women, i’d want to date and fall in love with them, but i do not need or want that from men. the few parts of my relationships w men i did like (which were pointedly not the sexual or romantic part of it, more like the camaraderie of it i guess) i easily get from my male friends now. saurrrr this is totally rambly because it’s still very much not tidy in my mind yet tbh but yeah comphet and a lot of self hatred did a number on me LMAO

i think sexuality can definitely be fluid and i could very well have been bisexual and then later become a lesbian! i personally don’t think that was the case with me, i think i’ve always been a lesbian and just now with the clarity of AdulthoodTM and so many relationships and experiences i can have more context and know that i’ve probably always really been attracted to women and thats all. in the end even when i id’d as bi i always said i did not want to marry a man and always thought i’d end up with a woman so i think at some level i probably always knew a little bit.

(of course bisexuals with preferences exist and having been on the receiving end of biphobia so many times over the course of the last decade i feel very strongly that bi experiences and the bi community and its history are very important for all lgbt people to know! id’ing as bi, i always felt like the fact a ton of our experiences were not black and white and uniform made other members of the lgbt community uncomfortable, and, well, now i’m a lesbian with a track record that can only be defined as contentious lmao, so i relate stoll. the discussions happening within bi spaces are all very enlightening and important. i always felt safe and very welcomed in bi spaces and i loved the local community. i just felt like i had to say this- i need it to be very clear that my experience does not invalidate bisexuality in any way shape or form)

i have no like ill will towards past me for not “seeing it” sooner, i simply do not want to be that anymore. idk if “negate” is the word i’d use, i think all my past experiences as they happened then were valid and important and tbh if interpreted them as i was back then then i have no interest in going back and revisiting all of it. i thought of myself like that back then, i lived my life as best as i could then, this is what i think now and i’ll live my life as best as i can from now on. i’m not really the type to latch/hold onto past deeds. i’ll reexamine something if i think it’s worthwhile for current me but i don’t feel the need to go and recontextualize my entire life it that makes sense. that’s how i was then and this is how i am now, both phases are just as valid in my opinion

tldr i 🩷 my gf!!!!!!!!!!

[system-of-a-feather]

Do you have any recommendations on finding a good therapist for treating DID?

(Sorry about how I think this has been sitting in my ask box for like a month I kept saying Id respond to it later XD)

Honestly? Its a complex thing and unfortunately finding therapists - in my opinion - is largely a game of shopping, luck, and fishing for someone who works well.

Typically though, a few things I find to be green flags.

They work with / help / are trained to help LGBT+ people; even if you arent LGBT+, therapists that are LGBT+ therapists tend to have a better perspective and better mindset to approach DID related issues. It's not a red flag if they don't explicitly say LGBT+ necessarily, but it is something I like to see

If they say they work with dissociative disorders, thats an obvious green flag

If they say they do EMDR I tend to consider that a relative green flag, as EMDR is a really useful tool for trauma processing and while its controversial as to if it is a good standard for people with dissociation, being certified in EMDR tends to signify that they have a dedication to working with people who have trauma and have dedicated time to that; so even if you dont plan to do EMDR, I like to see therapists that COULD do it

If they are trained and capable of working with personality disorders, particularly cluster B personality disorders, that is a good sign. Even if you don't have a cluster B, Cluster B personality disorders tend to be stigmatized WITHIN the mental health system and also tend to be considered "difficult patients" - so if they are more than comfortable stating that they work with Cluster B personality disorders, they are probably going to be better at dealing with some of the more extreme core beliefs, emotional dysregulation, and chaos that can come with working with someone who has DID

Some RED flags:

If they are a religious - particularly Christian or Catholic or have anything about 'healing through god / faith' or anything like that - run.

If they don't at least have PTSD on their treatment list

Trust your gut honestly

Also know what you need and what you want out of a therapist / out of therapy. "A good therapist for DID" could mean a lot of things depending on where you are in your journey and what sort of approach, level of help, and what not you need.

If you are early on, having someone that is familiar with complex trauma and dissociation that can help you figure out how to get a sense of stability, manage your trauma symptoms, learn self care and what not can be super helpful and you might not necessarily need a DID expert as the first stage in DID recovery is stabilization and is focused less on identifying all the parts and communicating with parts (though that will inherently be part of it) and more about trying to establish a sense of stability. For some systems, this might be able to be done pretty well even without a focus on DID and a good C-PTSD therapist that has a good rapport and good match generally can do you a lot of good

If you are later on in your recovery, having someone more DID familiar might be helpful in navigating the more complex nuances and conflicts that can come between parts.

If you are late stage in your recovery, having someone that is familiar enough with the concept and terms to generally follow the flow of discussion and experiences as well as open and respectful to learning / understanding your experiences can be plenty of enough for some people. In these cases, if you have issues that feel like they need a specialist more, then as long as the therapist is comfortable working with you, is familiar with DID and dissociation, and is capable of handling a C-PTSD / PTSD patient, then needing to be a "DID therapist" is honestly really not too important.

The latter is actually our situation, our therapist is an autism/adhd specialist first and foremost that got training and went through a deep dive relatively recently on complex trauma and complex dissociative disorders. Its by no means his expertise, but he is familiar and capable of following along which is honestly all we need at our stage

[bethanysnow]

Get to know me~

Tagged by @itshannjisung

❣ Who is your favorite Kpop group?❣

These dorks! Stray Kids. I also love BTS and Block B. I haven't gotten super into girl groups yet, but I am inching my way with Itzy, Twice, and Mamamoo! If people have song recommendations please let me know!

❣ Which member sparked your interest first?

This artsy motherfucker. I saw a couple tiktok edits of this man and I needed to know why an anime character had come to life. Then I found out about SKZ, read some fanfiction, and by the time I looked up Chan had stolen me and I now am holding a wolfchan. Like you have to understand, I study art and dance and all of this stuff, I am going to school to work in museums, like this is my shtick! HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I'VE EVER SEEN!! AND I'VE MET TOM HIDDLESTON

❣ Who was your first bias?

For stray kids its Chan, I am the mom friend, he is the dad friend and together we make a happy family.

NOW FIRST EVER BIAS?!

THIS DORK! EVERYONE SAY HI TO P.O (Pyo Ji-hoon) I love him with all of my heart, I will always be in debt to him as my first-ever Bias. I know he is an actor now BUT THIS MANS VOICE?!?! GAHHHHH He could give felix a run for his money like thats the vibe he is. Where normally hes this, like a college professor, suit-wearing dorky big grinned man and his voice is that of a rocker who smokes a pack a day

❣ Who is your current bias?

LOOK AT SASSY PANTS THINKING HES SO COOL! I-its chan guys. Im basic bitch I know. BUT LISTEN Ey ey ey, we all need a 5'7 man to tell us he thinks we're pretty. Even though he embodies being 6'1.

❣ What makes them your bias?

It is hard for me to really describe why. Not just because I picked him, or I like him the most, but being a fan of Stray Kids, meeting the people I have, all of the members but especially Chan make me want to be better. I want to be able to go up to them and say "Because of you and your inspiration, I now have achieved X" I want to participate in life and do things again. I want to go to therapy, I want to work out again and fight my eating disorder. I am creating art, and writing songs???? I've never done that before and they aren't awful! Life is brighter because Stray Kids and Chan are in it. I look at the moon every night and think of something Jin (bts) said, that its the same moon and look at it and think of him. Just these little reminders that while the world seems to feel so big and scary and nothing is going right, you are a speck on a floating rock in space. Just like them.

Also Chan says he doesn't love himself, he doesn't think hes attractive. So it makes me feel validated that maybe I'm not as ugly as I think I look??? Because if hes as prince charming as he is maybe im not as bad looking as I think I do?

❣ Who is your bias wrecker?

Uhhh all of them????? There isn't a wreck-ER its you are wrecked by all of them! It was Hyunjin for a while, now I think it's Minho??? It switches on the daily honestly??? I will take anything and anyone of them.

❣ Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

Felix/Han I love me some soft boys. Also I am 5'9, plus size, and very no-nonsense. The idea of these tiny men getting me to....do things...and uh trying to get me flustered just- yea does good for the soul. I love like reverse expectation fics? Like the big tall scary one is the subby sweet sunshine gf type and the tiny brightly colored talkative one is the super scary dominate teasing one. Its great.

❣ When did you first discover this group?

Last fall, I had just gotten out of a situationship and the band that brought me to it wasn't putting out music and I wanted to find joy again so I tried to find what I was into prior to rock music and that was kpop. Looked up groups that were popular, got back into BTS and then Stray Kids were in my recommended and the rest is history

❣ Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

No! But if they come to Washington you know I will be there. I am going to see Enhypen this month with a friend of mine though! First kpop experience

❣ What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

ITEM

Youtiful

Case 143

Red Lights

Comflex

My Universe

Tortorus and Hare

Social Path

I tag @kaciidubs @7ndipity

[skadream]

Rudy's Book Reviews: You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

yeah thats right im gonna be a phannie on main for a second. this is the start of my book review series which i hope to actually folow through with lol. this one ive been listening to as an audiobook but i do have the physical copy as well cuz im like that! next review will hopefully be gideon the ninth so tune in for that, but for now, read this review under the cut:

this book is a practical mental health guide, honestly a lot of it is stuff that you can learn in therapy so like if you have a therapist that you like then maybe its not worth it BUT theres like slim pickins for mental health books that arent just anecdotal evidence without actually talking about what people did to help them get better, just "yea i was sad but then i got therapy ✌️" or books that are so couched in psychiatric jargon its hard for a layperson to get into OR just vaguely inspiring bullshit.

its all written with the help of an actual licensed psychologist person, so no bullshit, no just do yoga and drink water shit (although obviously exercise and hydration and physical health are talked about) and yes he mentions medication and LICENSED therapy if those end up being necessary steps to take with your mental health!!! which again, in the world of self help type books, tends to be rare advice which is DEPRESSING IN A DIFFERENT WAY LMAO.

ofc it should go without saying that a book can never be a replacement for therapy but Considering How The World Is, this book is good for like maybe stepping into learning some coping skills as well as figuring out a plan before, during, and after crisis mode. i would say the tone is more serious than humorous but dan puts a lot of his own natural snarky sarcasm stink all over this book which obv that can be a taste thing if youre not into brit sarcasm mode but as a One Of Those i like it lol

in terms of Dan And Phil™️-isms, theres a sprinkling of cute winks and nods and inside jokes that people who drew sharpie cat whiskers on their faces as teens would understand but Normies will not find to be out of place or anything, there's also some storytimes of like his previous tours or living as a dropout youtuber being stress-inducing and things like that but not a ton which i kinda prefer cuz it makes it easier for me to recommend this book to people who dont give a shit about Phandom Memes

theres an introduction which is kind of a short summary of who dan is, basically just summarizing his youtube videos talking about depression and when he came out as queer and all that fun stuff, if youre a psycho hardcore fan person like me you might find it to be a long and unnecessary read, but if youre someone who didnt know about this guy and are curious as to why he would even write a book like this its a pretty good synopsis.

the american cover has dan's stupid face on it, and as someone who is a big fan of dan's stupid beautiful face, i wish we had the EU version with like tasteful yellow stripes on it bc it looks so nice, but i mean i just keep it on my bookshelf with the spine showing which is just a nice yellow spine with the title and looks unassuming so its not THAT big a deal lmaoo.

in terms of the audiobook, dan's voice is quite soothing and there's all these like audio cues and fitting music which i really like. the only downside is, for example, he reads out this timed breathing exercise that is meant to be like a five minute exercise, but it's not actually timed? so like i want to do the breathing exercises along with him reading it out but he reads it so fast its kinda like bro slow down you said breathe in for five seconds why you going ahead two seconds later homie. thats my only criticism i think obv if you are reading it and not listening you can just do the exercises by timing yourself lol.

ummmm idk if im gonna give a number at the end of these reviews!!! i give this book a big thumbs up!! 👍 woohoo yeah baby i am very proud of dan's current life journey thing that he's going on and i think this is a great book for people who need help which is everyone alive today right now :)

[moinsbienquekaworu]

RAM MY BELOVED hello hi happy Valentines (if you celebrate) hi

I just drove home while listening to my tomarry playlist and i need to tell you, i love themb so much and this song (Carnivore by Bear Attack! If the link doesnt work) is such a themb song and omg. I need to go reread love is touching souls. I need to finish typesetting it. I need to stop procrastinating buying printing materials and just bind it into a physical book. Themb.

But also, i was thinking about this fic thats currently sitting partially done in my google docs, thats endgame tomarry but currently drarry. And basic context: Harry becomes the DADA prof after a few years of being a failure of an auror and he and Ginny just finalized their divorce (nothing was Wrong Per Se, Ginny just realised shes a lesbian), and Hermione sets him up with Draco but theyre not really Great together theyre more just meh as a couple, but then Harry accidentally time travels back to 1945 (give ir take a few years) and teaches DADA during Tom's seventh year, and they get together and Harry knits Tom a Weasley sweater and etc etc etc BUT i couldnt figure out how to get them both back to The Present Day while not breaking up Harry and Draco BUT BUT BUT i realized i can just make it hella poly and itd still be cute!

Im telling you all of this as the person who got me into tomarry plus the first person i thought of when i put this playlist on, i hope this hinged-ness finds you well i love you <3

Love the idea of introducing someone else to the Tomarry relationship because we've all seen Tom and how he feels about sharing. Like I feel like any work with Tomarry + another character is like, 40% getting Tomarry together (all the Hurdles and Problems and such with those two) and then 60% Harry slowly making Tom stop hissing at whoever else because he has to share Harry with them and that's his soulmate. Yes even if he likes them too he's just Like That. He's so very not suited to polyamory, it would be extremely entertaining reading a fic trying to make it work.

I remember reading a fic back in Ye Olden Days that was a Drarry snippet with Severus looking in from the outside wishing he could be with Harry but Knowing Deep in his Soul that he was Wrong for him. I'd link it but I'm like 90% sure it was in french and I don't want to go looking through FFnet for it right now haha. Drarry just made me think of it. Oh and there was One good Drarry fic I loved, still in french, by and author who wrote banger after banger (all in french, yeah) on FFnet that introduced baby me to Supermassive Black Hole and the fact that you don't put two condoms on. It's Nothing Else Matters by Rose Malefoy if you want to look at the page and not understand the text haha (yes Malefoy with an e that's how it's spelt in french) Oh and my first Snarry was amnesiac Harry who was with Severus and forgets it so he gets into a relationship with Draco but then remembers and leaves him I think? It's been a while. I used to be into Drarry more but it's been years since I read some, since I discovered Snarry and all.

I think we should combine our poly Tomarry AUs to inflict the maximum amount of Situations on theses guys. Like throw in Draco throw in Severus and then let them take years and a lot of therapy to disentangle that mess and make a working polycule out of it. A bit like when you plop Sims in a house with full autonomy and wait for them to do something cool like starving themselves or making out with their brother's wife, except here I hope they'd figure it out and get a good ending at some point. Anyway.

Oh and in Tomarry news if you haven't tackled Draw me after you (let us run) by Toastranger you should go for it because now after about 200k words and 44 chapters Things have been Happening 👀 (I'm not subtle, they finally kissed is what happened) extremely fun fic, highly recommend once again. That said it is a time investment because I love long works

Your song rec is actually making me realise I don't have Tomarry songs? I have Obikin songs I have plenty of Snarry songs I have Johnlock songs and Kylux songs but nothing for these two. Ah well. I mean I guess The bog in the valley by the Irish Rovers is kind of a Harrymort song because it's a part of Dark Livestream but that's not very Tomarry specific. OH WAIT NO I do!! In the Daylight Again by Duplicity is named after a line from Salt and the Sea by the Lumineers so. One (1) Tomarry song. Good fic too, I can't make myself rereading it because it hurts my feelings :(( but it's really good

Cool song you got though! I've added it to my current playlist, love finding songs through other people and associating them to random stuff like that.

Anyway love you hope you have a good evening come back whenever you want <3

[clown-cars-blog]

o/ Hello again, wanted to offer our own advise about disclosing your system to a therapist because weve had to do it a few times now ourselves. Believe it or not most therapists now a days want you to just say it to them, all three of the therapists we told recently had the same reaction when we lingered for weeks and weeks and finally told them maybe a month or so in and every time they would say "why did you wait so long to tell me?" Now, weve been threw so many therapists not because they dont believe us but because none of them understand at all how to treat DID and one even flat out told us she had to transfer us to someone new because she just didnt know enough about it. So far in our therapeutic journey the only time a therapist told us they didnt believe DID was even a real thing was all the way back in 2015, most therapists now adays (prob because of the "trends" and "popularity" of it) at least know what it is and are a bit more informed about it. Honestly, the stress of worrying if your a system or not, while so very valid, is not a feature of DID. I kinda hate that denial criteria for DID because on one hand while denial is very common among systems and can aid in disassociation its also not a symptom that is consistent. The goal honestly is to kinda stop feeling denial at some point and we slowly have been reaching that point ourselves but is easier or harder for people depending on so much, namely how much shame you feel from yourself and your peers. ALL THAT TO SAY! If you feel your a system just say that "Hey, we have DID, can you help with that?" instead of "Do I have DID can you tell me I have it?". The genuinely worst casanerio is you get a new therapist if the one you have isnt helping you. And if your wrong about being a system? Thats okay too, its not a moral failing at all to simply be mistaken but to me it sounds more like you KNOW your a system and looking for a therapist rather then looking for a diagnosis. Also having DID is far more then just being a system! Having a list of what impacts you daily and what you need help with is really all you need. Id also recommend getting a therapist who has at least worked with a system before cause honestly our biggest issue is simply lack of knowledge and experience. I hope this ramble helped! Sorry if not and good luck!! Despite it all its still a scary thing to do for the first time so I do wish the best for you!

First off, I would love to thank you for your response! It was really insightful and made us realize a few things about ourself. Second, I get what you're saying. We're just nervous to say anything to our therapist because we're afraid of the switch that will most likely happen. Our funds for therapy come from our mother and she will definitely ask questions if she was told to switch therapists. And we know that denial is not a part of the DID criteria. It should be mentioned definitely to new diagnosed people because it's such a huge part of the disorder and it's brought up a lot in system communities. Third, this ramble really helped. We do experience symptoms that are related to DID, it's just that alters are more familiar with us. We struggle with dissociation, the ptsd, amnesia, SH, etc. We're just not very open about it, and I feel like we should. Anyway, thank you for your rambles. I love listening to others!

~Dylan

[despair-to-future-arcs]

sorry abt my last ask coming off as a little strong, the woh (especially masaru) are my favorite characters in the entire franchise and i get extremely defensive about characters i like. the anons that were saying kind of really horrible things about masaru and kotoko were what made me upset, so i do apologize. with that said, i still dont like that out of like 25 anons, one of them was trying to reason. whenever child characters do something wrong, i feel like people should at least try to explain to them what they did was wrong and why, and especially in the masaru anon’s case, it almost worked. if masaru didn’t think he was going to be yelled at, he probably would have gone and apologized after that anon, why not just help the other 3 too? if you went to nagisa and explained “hey yes you are very right to feel bad about these adults you hurt and the children, and while i do understand your point, if you wanna be forgiven and are actually sorry for what you did, maybe you should go apologize to the people you hurt and deal with the consequences”, then he could probably understand what went wrong and do what’s right. and masaru anon answer, again, if you tell him “hey they wont yell at you we can tell them not to” i bet you anything he will go and apologize. also, i do NOT like that the first thing they thought to do with the woh is execution. get them therapy, make them apologize, do all of this but don’t kill the kids, dude. i wanna give that one ‘dont kill them bcs then they’re martyrs” anon credit for what they said, ty ilysm. this is getting long and im probably gonna think of more bs to yell about later, but my closing thoughts are that i really hope future foundation changes their minds and just gets them therapy and stuff. (also, if this stuff i talked about was done before, tell me, bcs the only bit ive read from is the recent posts on the masaru tag, so i haven’t been caught up with the whole story as of yet. all i know is future foundation wants them dead for their crimes, saru and koto got beat down and all the anons except for a few hate them, so thats what my problem is. sry for the big block of text!!)

//Whoa, quite the long text you got there man!

//As for your ask - I do understand where your coming from; no one likes their favorite characters getting hurt or dealing with the consequences of their actions but if we don't suffer from them or deal with them then they won't learn from them or the mistakes they made; that is simply apart of growing up.

//As what Future Foundation will do, well... don't worry there is something that's going to happen and I do recommend to read the blog as I got some stuff plan for this blog. ^^

[placesthatchangedpeople]

Addison M. at Sedona Sky Academy

I am an "alumni" of sedona sky, or what ever you would like to call me. I was there for 13 months and graduated the program. This program did nothing for me. My therapist was great but we never worked on anything that would have truly helped me to this day. There was no after care help. My relationship with my family was even worse when I returned home. My experience was no where even close to what people would think deserves a 5 star rating. I wish there was and option to give a 0 star rating.  I guess working with the horses was a nice thing about the program but it became a negative thing for me, towards the middle of my "stay". Its so hard to explain my experience there, but what I can explain is my time after graduating. I was so lost. I literally got back into everything that I was doing before and I developed many new  negative behaviors. I also had to go to treatment again. The lack of support after the program was unreal. Coming from someone with no real support from my family I was basically just thrown back out there, into the real world where I was not safe from my self or my environment. Of course thats was what I wanted, I just wanted to go home and not feel locked up. l hated ssa. Some of the staff were good but I would never ever recommend someone to send their child their and waste their money like my parents did.

I would never take back going there though because of what I learned on my own. Things that I have been through Have taught me a lot and  I had to figure it out myself. No thanks to ssa no offense I am in a good place and supporting myself with out the help from others. You cant expect to send your child to a place where they say she can be "fixed". Im gonna tell you straight up who needs to change their ways is the PARENTS. Money cant fix your daughter and neither can a lock down school like ssa. Nature, love, connection, empathy , understanding and REAL therapy work will help her. If you are just trying to send them away because u can't "deal" with her and it's too hard and just let some other people (STRANGERS) deal with her shame on you. I've seen it at this school and you know us girls need the genuine love and understanding from their family. Good luck to you and your decision. I guarantee you most of the girls that I went to school with at ssa would 100% agree with me. If you truly want to help you daughter, don't choose a school like ssa. Work on your self on how to understand her, while she works on herself. It is a team effort. She needs you. In this situation money cant fix anyone. It is hard and therapy will help. There are many programs that can help your child that specialize in what she may need help with. Dont lock her up. Don't alienate her. She is screaming for you to listen to her.

[tenkoshira]

friendship ended with the rest of my family, now my persona 5 cousin is my best friend

[egokillr]

manifesting with ocd/ anxiety

a gentle guide to managing your mental health while manifesting your dream life :D

i hope to write this as a motivational guide for those who deal with ocd, any anxiety disorders, and mental health issues in general. i’m going to explain how i dealt with my mental health and the things i experienced on my lil journey. last year when i really got into the law of attraction, my fears intensified and i realized they had always had my life on hold. or “limiting beliefs” as you would call it, but it kind of made me anxious about life and spirituality. etc. after i was diagnosed with ocd, i went down a kind of spiral because i didn’t understand the law of assumption yet and had lingering limiting beliefs that people in the law of attraction community would enforce. i honestly was kind of anxious abt creating my own reality. and, honestly thats okay! it’s completely normal when you come to that big of a spiritual realization. having ocd made intrusive thoughts feel scary for me because it seemed kinda real, knowing that your thoughts create. i also would have obsessions and intrusive thoughts which i would try to fix in my head. it lead me to create “rituals” or compulsions to try to “fix” them. the problem here is that i was trying to fix them when they didnt need to be fixed. your thoughts should not be viewed as “good and bad,” but rather just thoughts. they are nothing without your attention. so why fight them? its kind of like acknowledging that theres an issue when really, they are simply thoughts, so why would i fight with it? when you create an issue with those thoughts, your mind sees it as a threat. the goal is to neutralize that. a mental diet is normally used to manifest the things you want into your life by being selective with your thoughts, and it is extremely helpful. but i was taking some things the wrong way, beating myself up for negative thoughts, etc. i was scared of messing up my manifestations in any way and just felt guilty about my past creations in general. in reality, no one can take your desire away from you once you have it. i realized after pondering the question of how to manifest with ocd efficiently, that circumstances most definitely do not matter, and even that is just another “circumstance.” there is nothing in your way! your assumptions create.

i have realized a few things while bettering my mental health that have helped me understand the law and how to cope with ocd while it lasts.

1. you decide what manifests

your intrusive and anxious thoughts will never manifest if you assume so! i would recommend making that a reminder or affirmation to just know. i also would recommend not using this as a response to intrusive thoughts or anxiety 100% of the time though, bc it acts as kind of a mental compulsion in my opinion.

2. intrusive thoughts are to be treated like background noise

they are nothing without your attention. therefore they are already gone, bc they are nothing and you said so. some of them may be “scary” but really they are nothing more than thoughts until you give them the power to be more. Exposure Response Prevention is the leading form of therapy for OCD and is good for other forms of anxiety as well. it exposes you to the anxious environment while making sure you don’t perform a compulsion to reduce your anxious reaction to it. therefore, lowering your anxious reaction when exposed to the thought. i would recommend looking into it if you are struggling with anxiety on your journey. but if an intrusive thought arises such as “im going to get in a crash” and “oh no what if that manifests and i just die,” try not to respond to it but instead just sit with any anxiety or feeling and let it pass. don’t even give yourself reassurance that it’s okay. it’s not even a “bad” thought so why would you need reassurance? you’ll realize that you’re just the observer and thoughts have no power over you.

3. manifesting good mental health

this is optional!! you can always work through it the therapeutic way or both! i find that doing a bit of both helps me a lot. sometimes when things are difficult you may need the extra help. thats still you manifesting better mental health! its all you helping yourself. you can always have assumptions such as “i have no intrusive thoughts” or “i have the perfect mindset” and yes, it’ll come true. but regardless, no thoughts can ever effect you until you give them the power to, and you should always have that in mind. negative and intrusive thoughts are not the problem. the reaction to them is what causes the anxiety. i’m so glad you can manifest better mental health/ mindset, it really helps speed up the process.

5. affirmations to start your day :D

i find that reminding myself everyday of these affirmations help me to stay more calm. these are just what im comfortable with so you can always adjust them for yourself!

- i am always safe in my own energy

- no doubt or fear can even touch my power

- i love myself unconditionally

- i am in control

- negative and intrusive thoughts never manifest

- i am naturally a positive person with positive experiences

- i am confident in everything that i do

- i have the perfect manifesting mindset

6. calming resources!

if you ever are to experience a spiral, it’s always okay. the key is self-compassion, and remembering that you can change anything whenever you want too. you don’t have to manifest 100% of the time. take your mind off the event and onto yourself and your wellbeing first. you are your first priority!

- controlled breathing

this will help you anytime and anywhere! breathing through the esophagus (stomach) helps relieve anxiety. i would recommend taking a few deep breaths to just be and set everything else aside. you can look into meditation practices or breath work to get into a more relaxed state as well c:

- journaling

if you need to vent or are overthinking, this is a great outlet for releasing thoughts. write down anything u want! nothing can affect your manifestation if you assume so. journaling will really help you become more comfortable with yourself as well as improving your mental health.

- subliminals and affirmations

remind yourself that you are god and you can change literally anything! there are lots of subliminals for relaxation if you don’t feel like affirming.

- text lines, hotlines and therapy

sometimes we need help and das okay c:

a really good website for finding therapists in your area - psychologytoday.com

and if you ever need a crisis hotline, just look up the crisis hotline in your country and there should be an option to text or call.

that’s basically all i’ve noted based off of therapeutic research and just personal realizations. you don’t have to do any of these things and can still manifest! if you have anything to add to this, please let me know. i haven’t seen many posts about ocd and manifesting, so i hope this will help anyone who is wondering the same. always do what works for you. regardless of anything, you are god! i believe in all of you c:

[prettyboykatsuki]

Hi handsome. Is there anyway I can ask for some advice? As a fellow bkdk shipper and bakugou lover. So I am trying to write a bakugou x reader, with a bakugou who’s all-knowing reluctant closes friend is Izuku. For storyline purposes (as my all knowing kind eyed friend for reader) and just for the length of time.

This almost seems like a silly ask. But how would you recommend, for me to build the relationship between reader and bakugou… to feel genuine and worthwhile and just as intense as a long time friend Izuku could be? Basically, I’m asking for advice on how to make an audience ship Bakugou with reader as opposed to his best friend who has a somewhat intense relationship with him already built into canon.

i dont find this ask silly at all! i think as an avid x reader and shipfic writer - this is actually a relatively understandable concern. you have to convince your audience that your y/n is also able to metaphorically compete for bkgs heart that canonly has other paths paved

in the situation for bakugou specifically, i think your y/n has to exhibit 2 things. mental strength and any sort of identifiable thing they care about. for bakugou as a character, there is nothing more important to him than respect. your reader, in some way, has to be able to earn his genuine respect. this is NOT limited to physical strength. the nature of bakugous development is that he deeply recognizes strength in all walks of life.

make your reader formidable. maybe they stand up for justice. maybe they’re especially good at handling conflicting and mediating. maybe they’re competent at their job. maybe they’re very good at something trivial like making tea but they dont let bakugou talk down on their hobby. you have a lot of options but i think representing that bakugou values reader insight and respects their viewpoint will lend itself to them being compelling.

additionally, when i say mental strength, i think reader needs to be able to reconcile with bakugou easily. this is one of those bkdk things they dont have which is an ability to communicate clearly lol. this doesn’t mean reader has to have an easy going or even patient temperament - but that reader can say sorry and have just a sliver more of emotional intelligence than bakugou because while i think hes grown a lot, romantic feelings probably turn him into a complete baby.

a reader who is willing to hash things out even at the sake of fighting is very important contrast. while i am a bkdk enthusiast, i think them having a romantic relationship canonly would take a shit ton of effort and therapy. they are deeply intricate but thats a double edged sword. you can play off those gaps.

the most important thing is that you understand bakugou is a character with a natural intensity and presence. this makes him very versatile in the sense he doesn’t discriminate other people at all based on shallow shit. if you want to write a compelling love story with him - any partner can work as long as you keep who he is in mind. anyone who can stand as his equal can be a compelling love interest.

[jerseyclown]

hey kc do u have advice about being embarrassed about my writing? i have like five published pieces but im having major imposter syndrome and feeling like all my stuff is so horrible that i don't even deserve to be considered a writer. im so deeply embarrassed of what i write and feel like i should just give up. this is seriously taking a toll on me mentally and i think its also what's preventing me from writing recently. anyways i love ur work and am just hoping u have some insight. thank you!

YESS i absolutely do have advice. im sure ive mentioned on here before that i used to be steadfast sure id never publish anything for numerous reasons, but one especially being my fear of being average and talentless.

first of all, anyone can be a writer. you dont have to be good at writing to be a writer. at all. you literally just have to write and you’re a writer. i urge you to & hope you can realize your talent or success is not what gives you permission to create. if you swim, you’re a swimmer. if you sing, you’re a singer. if you write, you’re a writer. it’s not the talent that gives the act meaning, its the act itself. you are a writer, and a good one at that, because you create.

one thing i have to tell you is that no matter how much you write & how good you are of a writer, you’re gonna make stuff that isnt that great. youre gonna make stuff that sucks. and thats okay, because those ideas have to go somewhere, and getting them down allows you to move past and create Good Stuff. writing “bad” stuff doesnt make you a good writer, it makes you a healthy creative with a healthy creative process.

but i understand being embarrassed about what you write. i think a lot of times we do write stuff that can feel embarrassing either in topic or execution. like in my case — recently i had a nonstarter crush that hurt my feelings really bad and for a few weeks (probably more) most of the stuff i was writing was just… not good. even if i liked the craft of a sentence, it felt embarrassing and clunky and awkward. it made me feel deeply untalented and Stuck. while writing helps me emotionally process, sometimes you need to recognize that you need to step back from that and find other ways to get out feelings and move through moments of creative or emotional block. i took a while without really writing as much and i worked on editing old stuff and polishing stuff im proud of as a personal reminder that you can do that & you will do that again. i also learned to do other things (skating has helped me with that immensely.)

it also helps to just put it down. you dont need to force yourself to write. i think of it as like a muscle and if if you are using a strained and exhausted muscle, you’re more likely to damage it and then have even a harder time getting back to it. id recommend taking a break or at least putting less pressure on yourself to create. you can work on stream of conciousness writing to continue evolving a practice but then work on not taking that writing as something to be good. sometimes it just helps to sit down and put down Whatever. it sort of helps “unclog” your brain, in my opinion.

in terms of embarrassment ive also worked through a great deal of self criticism (i still do), and it helps me personally to try and investigate those thoughts. i can usually catch myself in the negative thought (im making bad art/this sounds stupid/im talentless/fill in the blank) and then find ways to counteract it. it helps me to remind myself you have to make bad art to make good art, im not put on this earth to create stuff to satisfy anyone else but me, etc. you have to investigate the negative thought at the source and find ways to counteract it by disproving that logic (at least thats how it works for me.) it might also help to talk about the negativity with a friend or someone else (ive even used my therapist to break through some of those thoughts, but i know not everyone is helped by therapy or doesnt have access to it.) in general, i think the most important thing is finding the root of a thought and then working to curb or work around it — and it takes patience and time. its hard. but you’ll get past it. i promise.

altogether, i think id recommend being gentler with yourself. patience is the hallmark of creating art and your mind is a very gentle machine that needs care and time. allow yourself to rest & do things that bring your brain calm and new inspiration. i always seek out new music when im feeling blocked or i go for a walk/skate/drive/etc. but its not a bad thing to put it down, to take a break. ive gone months and months without writing literally anything, and there’s nothing inherently bad about that. you might be cyclical like me, or perhaps you need rest and to find your starting point again. perhaps focus less on publishing for a while and work on creating stuff that satisfies you, or maybe find other ways to be creative that isnt writing. its easy to get caught up in our own fears, but you’ll get past this. just have patience and do what feels best for you & what brings you creative fulfillment, even if that means taking a break. allow yourself to create bad art, too.

i hope this helps. i wish you the best.