#i haven't really seen anyone posting about them but they were so freaking good this season

[raayllum]

Janai and Amaya in episode 2, Fallen Stars

[watchtowerindistress]

for the love of ... bob? - jake seresin x reader (2/2)

Summary: Being Jake's (best) friend - sorry, Javy - proved to have its ups and downs but there was something about having him in your corner you couldn't resist. Jake and you just clicked on a deeper level. That's why you didn't get it when the Southern boy was acting so weird.

Word count: 6.9k

Warnings: Jealous! + Soft!Jake, fluff, language, kinda angsty, kinda mean!Jake

Author’s note: I haven't seen Anyone but You (I just get the icky when I see two blondes on screen), so I took Glen's sentiment that he's not the best singer 🤷🏻‍♀️ Is it obvious yet that I really like Lewis/Bob? 😏 Who knew that I would write a Jake story and have Bob's name mentioned soooooo many times to get Jake to freak out? This chapter made me realize ... maybe I'm not good with painting a scene when I feel more comfortable just writing the banter/dialogue because at times I'm just more "clinical" when it comes to narration and I just want to get to the point. 😅

No words can describe how much everyone's reactions moved me. Especially how so many people reblogged this fic. Keep on doing what you're doing, guys! 😘

Chapter Summary: Y/N is an absolute mastermind, but Natasha is one too. Bob is an absolute sweetheart (nothing new to see here).

Tagging: @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @ravenmoore14 @blackmagicwoman @silenthappyplace @mrsevans90 @dempy @arcxnxm @hookslove1592 @djs8891

Read me on AO3 | Series masterlist

~Jake POV~

“Special delivery for Floyd.”

Maverick showed up in the break room. And, without further ado, dropped a Tupperware container on the table where Bob was sitting. Bob looked up curiously. “Huh, okay…”

Jake was sitting with the rest of the Dagger Squad on base, when his mouth hovered over his sandwich, about to take a bite.

“Y/N dropped it off at Penny’s,” Captain Mitchell explained.

At the mention of your name, Jake frowned before turning his head to inspect what Maverick just delivered.

“Oh, Bob is climbing the racks of popular guys around here,” Natasha teased. “Let me see.” She reached for the piece of paper taped on the cover.

Despite Bob’s efforts to stop her, Natasha’s actions were too swift. He observed Jake with uncertainty.

Natasha narrated the post-it, “Just a small piece of Montana so you can feel more at home, Bob. Only meant for sharing when the others have done something nice for you,” she paused. “Woah, this can be tough for some people. P.S. I’ll be your Huckleberry. Y/N. That’s cute. And then there’s some sort of smiley face.”

Bob snorted before revealing the insides of the Tupperware. The smell of dessert reached their nostrils. It left a speechless Bob behind. He smiled fondly. “Oh, … it’s Huckleberry Buckle.”

The rest of the crew groaned in delight.

“Bob, my friend,” Bradley leaned down, to drape his arm over his shoulder, “you do know that I held the door open for you this morning.”

Bob chuckled. “Just dig in, y’all. If you want some, just grab a plate and a fork.”

This was the signal for most of the Dagger Squad to spring into action.

“Don’t be animals. One for plates and one for forks,” Javy reminded them.

With sentimental eyes, Jake took another glance at the freshly baked dessert. He cleared his throat. “That’s Y/N for you. Baking stuff is Y/N’s love language,” he explained before watching Bob out of the corner of his eye while everyone dug in.

Bob took his ringing phone from out of his pocket. “Hey, yes, I—we just got it. You just made everyone’s day, I think.”

The Dagger Squad echoed with their mouths full, “We love you, Y/N! Love—love you!”

Jake intensely watched Bob while he munched on the pastry, desperately wanting to know what you two were talking about.

“You want me to—really? Did you mention that to-” Bob’s gaze met Jake’s. Once he already found him already staring at him, Bob meekly averted his eyes. “Um, yeah, sure. Hangman, it’s for you,” he said, giving him the phone.

Jake put a smile on his face when he spoke with a gravelly voice. “Hello, stranger.”

He heard you on the other end exhale. “Has anyone ever told you that you got a really sultry voice?”

Jake inhaled deeply and instantly regretted it. Choking on a crumb, Jake coughed to clear his throat. He felt his skin heat up, either your words or the chocking hazard was getting to him. “Uhm, okay?” He phrased as a question. “Not under these circumstances, no.” For good measure, he took a huge gulp of water.

“Have you asked them yet? You know, the karaoke thing?”

“No?”

Jake could basically feel you vibrating through the phone.

“Well, are you gonna? Time is of the essence.”

“Why are you so adamant to get it done this quickly?” He asked, taking another bite.

You stammered, “I need to—I just do. Aren’t we best friends?”

Jake laughed at your faltering attempt to get your way. “Of course, we are.”

“Then it’s your responsibility to make me get to know your colleagues, no questions asked. Maybe I could make you look good, huh?” Now your insistence for this event kinda made more sense.

He exhaled, “Guys, want to do karaoke night with Y/N?”

The Dagger Squad made whoops of agreement.

“You heard that? You really know how to work the crowd, don’t you?”

“What can I say? I have to make use of my strengths.”

Jake shook his head. “I can tell.”

“Now I know why we never did karaoke together,” Natasha mused before knocking back a drink of tequila.

“What?” Jake was still smiling widely when he stepped off stage.

“That was horrendous to watch. And I’m not even talking about what we were just forced to listen to.”

He rolled his eyes at her dig. “Come on, you’re just being mean. Y/N, hey, tell them.” Jake widened his arms, expecting you to snuggle up to his chest.

As if reading his mind, you stepped into his arms. Almost like you were keeping him in suspense, you licked your lips and patted his chest consolingly. “You looked really handsome up there on stage.”

“See?” Jake looked around to challenge his witnesses before realization hit him. He followed you as you stepped away from him. “Wait, what?”

Any disappointed feelings evaporated within him when Jake sat next to you on the couch which oversaw the karaoke stage and spoke softly, “You having fun?”

You leaned against his side, feeling content with just doing your familiar tradition. “You know I do. Thanks for being such a good sport about this.”

“You mean for me being such a horrible singer?”

“You’re tolerable,” you said soothingly and stroked the back of his neck.

“Gee, thanks.”

You nudged your head against his shoulder. “Kidding. You have a great shower voice.”

With a frowning face, Jake stared at you.

You paused in thought. “That sounded weird, didn’t it?”

“Already forgotten.”

“You’re such a sweetheart.” You briefly leaned your head back into the crook of his neck.

The expression which bordered between mischief and intimacy on Jake’s face was only meant for you to see. “Careful, darlin’. With words like that, you’re starting to make all the girls here jealous.”

“I’m good, thanks,” Natasha interjected, jolting you from your thoughts. “Don’t know if you guys are disgusting or just too adorable together.”

You chuckled, hiding your face behind your hair.

Jake leaned his arm against the back of the couch you were sitting on and said with a teasing voice, “Oh, Phoenix, is there something you want to tell?”

A mysterious smile lingered on Natasha’s lips. “I don’t know. Is there something you want to tell?”

Jake remained silent when he narrowed his eyes. “Nope.”

“Pity,” Natasha retorted.

“This tension is getting way too thick for me.” You decided and braced yourself to stand up. “Bob’s song choice is calling my name.”

At the mention of his name, Jake turned his head in an almost comical way. “Wait, Bob?”

You turned halfway around. “Definitely. I think I’m feeling ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’, you know?”

Natasha gave her vote of confidence. “Don’t let Bob fool you. He’s great. As long as you don’t get into a duet with Rooster.” Her eyes widened at that specific scenario. “I’m serious. I can’t take one more ‘Great Balls of Fire’ today.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

Jake stood up, hiding his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “We’re singing together, right?”

“Of course we are, buddy. It’s tradition,” you said, patting his cheek before leaving again.

Jake sat back down with a sigh, mouthing, “Buddy?” to himself.

“You must have really scared her off with your karaoke performance, … buddy,” Natasha teased next to him.

“You know what?” Jake brooded over his next retort. “Why don’t you have fun with your next Britney song, huh?”

“Thanks. If I play my cards right, I could convince Y/N to join me. I bet she likes Toxic, huh?”

“Everyone does.” Knowing that you wouldn’t mind that one bit.

~ Jake POV ~

“Another plane, another train. Another bottle in the brain. Another girl, another fight. Another drive all night,” You rapped without having care in the world while you mimicked guitar sounds. With your arm slung over his shoulder, Jake carried your body inside.

“You know, I got neighbors, right? I don’t know if they’d appreciate you hollering to the Beastie Boys.”

As if the thought just hit you, you rasped, “I could do it while whisper-yelling. You know, show them some taste.”

Jake shook his head at your antics. “You and your 90’s songs.”

“That was actually late 80’s.”

Jake only chuckled at your musical knowledge shining through. “Someone’s not drunk, huh? Do I need to carry you to bed?”

“Oh, Mr. Lieutenant Seresin-” You leaned back with a smirk, inspecting Jake thoroughly. That gaze alone, and that rank drop, sent a surprising shiver down his spine.

-“You know, I’m not that kinda girl.”

“Oh my God,” he whispered. “Only you would try to flirt in your affectionate state.”

“I’m always flirting with you.”

That reminder unsettled Jake, especially since that sort of affection seemed unusual to other people. For some reason, he didn’t want to lose that. Jake swallowed, frowning. “Yeah, that … that’s what we do. We’re just really, uh…”

“Really secure in our friendship,” you added, holding onto his arms.

His eyes lit up, feeling grateful for your words and warm from your touch. “Exactly. We are.”

You smirked. “How secure do you feel with Javy?”

“Hey, that’s very different. I’m very comfortable with ‘touching guys’, but we’re not in the flirty stage.”

You pursed your lips, imagining that specific scenario. “So, you’re saying you could get there with him one day.”

He didn’t have to ponder about that. “Nope. There’s never been the need for that.”

“Oh, you’re saying I’m special, sweetheart?” Your hold shifted into a tight hug.

“Don’t fish for compliments. You know you are,” Jake whispered quietly, like he was sharing something only for you to know.

“Oh, that’s nice,” you muttered. Snuggling deeper into his strong shoulders while enjoying his warmth. “Damn, your shoulders are really something else, huh? Did I already say that?”

Jake’s shoulders shook with laughter. “It’s fine.”

Like a gentle and exploring piano player, your fingers danced around his shoulder. “You must get them compliments all the time from everyone else.”

“I don’t care about everyone else,” Jake paused.

“Sorry for objectifying you. You’re a real nice guy.”

“First, I don’t mind you objectifying me. Second, don’t you dare call me nice.”

“Oh, you’re just a sweetheart and I don’t get why you don’t let others see that.” Jake felt his body vibrate when you nestled deeper into his neck. Maybe it was easier for Jake to admit stuff if he didn’t have to look at you.

That thought process was eviscerated when you leaned back to stare into his eyes. You stroked his cheeks with deep consideration. “You know, sometimes I keep thinking you deserve so much more than the small scraps of brief flings you’re setting for yourself.”

Almost allured, Jake leaned his face into your palm. Before he caught himself with that infuriating smile. “Oh, you’re thinking about me having sex. Is there something you want to tell me?”

He could feel your disappointment deeply in his core when you sighed heavily. “Jake, you really know how to kill the mood.”

Jake smiled proudly. “Thanks. I really worked hard on that skill.”

With wide eyes, your whole stance changed. “I changed my mind. Can you take me to bed, in a purely platonic way?”

“Only because you asked nicely.”

“Oh, proof that Jake Seresin is secretly a gentleman.” As soon as he offered his smile, you squeezed his dimples, like he was a little kid.

Jake shook his head. “Okay, I think it’s time for bed.”

“And the great Hangman takes aim. Will he be able to defeat the local competition or forfeit his winning streak?”

Jake sighed at hearing Rooster commenting with high anticipation on their pool game at their usual hangout. His arm, holding the cue, hesitated on the pool table. “Rooster, if I have to listen to your droning voice any longer-”

Rooster leaned over the cushion, whispering teasingly, “Why? Am I getting inside your head?”

Jake scoffed at the insinuation. “You think you can get to me with mind games? I invented those.” He pulled his arm back. The moment he saw you enter, a fond smile tugged at the corner of his lips when he saw you laugh with Natasha and -

-pat Bob’s arm?

Jake pushed the cue forward. And watched in apprehension as it slipped away from the ball. “Fuck me,” he grumbled. He couldn’t look away from the unfolding car accident of his play as the ball slithered frustratingly to the middle of the table.

Rooster snorts morphed into boisterous laughter. “Outstanding performance. At least something is getting to you. Are you sure you’re as good as you claim to be?”

Jake whipped his head around. “You know, why don’t you play one of your piano sessions?”

“That would be kind of hard to do since-” Rooster leaned forward with his cue stick. “-you know, I’m beating you.”

Jake cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt his eyes wander surreptitiously to the pair sitting at the bar. Jake made grumbling noises when Penny covered his view as his fingers tightened around the cue stick.

“Ace, you need a special invitation or are you considering to surrender already?” Jake heard the annoying voice behind him. It took everything inside him to not give up and wander where he really wanted to go.

“You’re a hilarious bird.”

Jake lined up his shot.

~ Y/N POV ~

“Okay, what did I miss?”

When you turned your head, Jake sauntered next to you. It took you another glance until you noticed something amiss. “Woah, what happened? You look really hot,” you said, inspecting Jake’s forehead with the back of your hand.

Jake smirked. “Well, thank you. I try my best.”

You rolled your eyes at Jake’s antics to view everything as a compliment. “No, you dork. I mean, you’re like really sweaty. Did you overdo it with the testosterone match?”

“I think I did it just right,” Jake sputtered.

“Who won?”

His green eyes twinkled at the spoken challenge, making your heart flutter. “Who do you think?”

It took you less than a few seconds to look towards Bradley, who swaggered behind Jake. “Who won?”

Jake opened his mouth to gasp at your cheekiness not to trust his word. “I won! What are you asking him for?”

“Barely,” Bradley mouthed, making you giggle. “Totally. I was absolutely … destroyed.” His eyes turned serious when Jake’s gaze found his. “I need some beer to recharge,” he said, moving away.

With a conspiring demeanor, Natasha leaned forward to whisper into your ears. “Oh please, let me tell him.”

Jake’s head moved in her direction. “Oh, you’re here too. Tell me what?”

She placed her hands on your shoulders, slightly shaking your body with her utter enjoyment. “Someone’s gotten herself a date,” Natasha trilled with a sing-song voice.

The glower on Jake’s face sent shivers through your body. You felt uncertain at seeing his reaction. You tried to tell yourself that Jake was just being an overprotective friend. His gaze alternated between yours and Natasha’s before it finally landed on Bob’s.

A wide-eyed Bob swallowed his cup of water. “Not me. I mean, not that Y/N isn’t … you know-” You felt touched that Bob tried to rectify his statement by not wanting to hurt your feelings when he truly looked at you. “You’re really pretty. A guy would be lucky to have you.”

You inwardly gushed at Bob’s gentlemanly ways and felt utterly compelled to give him a hug. Instead, you held him by the shoulder. “Oh Bob, you’re such a sweetheart. You just earned yourself a dance. Pick a song.” With an energetic jump, you moved from your stool and went towards the jukebox.

“I didn’t want to make things weird for the team,” Bob whispered with wide eyes.

There was something akin to respect shining in Jake’s eyes when he nodded once before staring calmly at Natasha. He tried really hard not to reveal his candid emotions on his face. Jake promised to himself, he wouldn’t clench his jaw or cross his arms. He felt like a twitching fool when he was about to cross his arms. Instead, he was forced to let his arms glide downwards before he stroked his abdominal muscles. In the end, he awkwardly hid his hands in the back pockets of his pants.

Natasha smiled mysteriously. “Don’t worry, I’m a great matchmaker. She’s in the safest hands.”

“Phoenix,” Jake started, before he inwardly winced. He crossed his arms and spoke slowly, “what are you doing?”

She shrugged. “Just listening. Y/N mentioned something when we were talking.”

He couldn’t help tilting his head in intrigue. “What exactly?”

“That’s for me to know and you to butt out.” Natasha’s expression softened when she tried to soften the blow. “All in good time. I have a plan. It’s gonna sound weird, but you seem like someone who likes having their best friend close. This is me ensuring to make San Diego as appealing as possible to her. I’m just saying—if she wants to stay,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“By giving her a date? You’re right, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Best-case scenario: She’s gonna have the time of her life with the potential to meet the love of her life while getting a meal out of the date.” Natasha lifted the palms of her hands like a scale to weigh the chances. “Worst case: death by boredom. And next thing you know, Y/N is gonna seek comfort from her best friend after realizing that all naval aviators are douchebags.”

Jake groaned at the thought. “Ugh, great. It’s a damn naval aviator?”

She tilted her head in fascination. “Short question: does she have a thing for aviators? There was a fangirl moment when I mentioned Mav.”

He winced before murmuring, “It’s a statistics thing. Don’t mention Iceman around her.”

Natasha nodded. “Noted.”

“You’re way too involved in this.” Jake pressed his lips together, hoping to see her ultimate endgame. “What’s in it for you?”

“Not everything’s an agenda.” Natasha brushed by him, moving away.

Jake narrowed his eyes with deep suspicion. “And that’s not really an answer.”

~ Y/N POV ~

You could feel your heart beating nervously in your chest. Even your stomach was being all fluttery when you looked into the bathroom mirror while putting mascara on your eyelashes. You heard shuffling behind you before you met green eyes in the reflection.

Your voice echoed in the bathroom. “Jake, you’re hovering like a mother hen.” You didn’t bother turning around since you needed to focus on the task at hand, in order not to go crazy with anxiety. His rare controlling persona wasn’t helping matters.

Jake leaned his shoulder against the door jamb. “I’m just curious, that’s all. You’ve never met the guy. Assuming it’s a man, I don’t want to presume.” He waved his arms around. “I wouldn’t put it past Phoenix to put you on a blind date with a girl.”

You pursed your lips while mentioning casually, “Nat did mention that most of the aviators on the force were duds.”

Jake grimaced. “Going to ignore that,” he mumbled under his breath.

You wiped some mascara remnants from your eyelid. “Your sex not being dating material or me hypothetically dating the same team?”

Jake shook his head, clearing his throat. “So, where are you two lovebirds meeting tonight? Romantic restaurant, picnic by the waterfront?”

The annoyed growl leaving your mouth surprised you. Normally, you weren’t an irrational person who was prone for aggravation. His hovering presence distracted you in an inefficient way. “Seresin, you’re starting to cramp me in this bathroom.” You puzzled yourself more than him when you shoved him through the door. “All answers will be given in the living room after I had some breathing room.”

As soon as the door was closed, it felt like you could breathe again. You exhaled a heavy breath. “Oh my God,” you whispered.

“I heard that!” Jake protested behind the door.

“Good!”

Jake released the breath he was holding. He was sitting on the couch, drumming his fingers on his thigh. He mindlessly watched ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’ on his TV, needing something to run in the background while he was waiting for you to come out. Every time he heard noises coming from the bathroom, Jake craned his head, unable to tamp down his curiosity.

The moment the door closed again, he felt nervous energy coming off of him. And he didn’t truly understand why. Jake heard your shuffling feet in the distance before you finally came out. It felt like the breath had been knocked out of his body.

There was something about a Y/N in a sundress and ballet flats that made him feel very weird. You swung around to show off the full effect of your date attire.

“So, what’s the verdict? Does it meet the expectations of Jake Seresin at least?”

“Um-” Jake cleared his throat before he averted his gaze. “-it looks good.”

“Oh, if the dress looks good… Lucky me, huh?”

“Whoever you’re meeting tonight, they’re the lucky ones.”

“Oh.” You rushed forward, hugging Jake sideways in gratitude. “I like when sweet and charming Jake comes out. He’s such a gentleman.”

“I’m going to assert plausible deniability, in case you decide to reveal my secrets.” Jake shared a small smile with you, reminding himself to at least appear like he was fine with the thought of you going out with another naval aviator.

“I wouldn’t. Not for a good trade at least.”

Jake pointed at you as a reminder. “No apple pie.”

You threw your head back, groaning loudly. “How about a strudel?”

“Not even that.”

“Fine.” She leaned back against the couch before whispering quietly, – like you had to remind yourself - “I need to get going.”

He looked up. “You want me to drive you?”

“That’d be weird, wouldn’t it?”

Jake had to keep trying. “To pick you up then.”

A small part of him would remember fondly how he made you chuckle. “Even weirder flex. I’ll be fine.”

The goodbye kiss on his cheek made him sigh before he nodded with a resolved air. “Text me when you need a getaway car.”

You laughed airily. “Alright.”

It was an hour later when he was already lying in bed and mindlessly scrolling through social media on his phone when he received a text from you.

Don’t need a getaway car.

Nodding dazedly to himself, Jake whispered, “That’s just … great.”

Jake was proving to be an utterly, frustrating man. It had been fifteen minutes since you said good morning that Jake had uttered a word. Only the sound of awkward breakfast crunching could be heard.

You sighed when you saw Jake eye you inscrutably again. He truly thought he was being covert. “Okay, when are we going to break the tension?”

“What tension? There’s no tension.” Jake kept munching on his cornflakes. Like he didn’t have a care in the world. Granted, Jake was the kind to keep on eating food, even when he wasn’t feeling well. “It’s a wonderful morning. I’m having breakfast.” Jake scarfed down a mouthful. “There’s nothing out of the ordinary whatsoever.” To prove his point, he offered a close-lipped smile.

You narrowed your eyes in speculation. Talking gibberish was very unlike him. “You want to know how last night went.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“You don’t want to know,” you repeated slowly and in strong incredulity.

“Yep, no interest.” Jake paused in thought. “Unless you want to talk about your date.”

“I’m not going to force you into a conversation if you couldn’t care less.”

“I do care,” Jake rushed with his reply before his voice turned casual again. “I mean a meager amount.”

“Is this like a guy thing?” You sniffed, taking on a low manly voice for effect. “I don’t mind talking about my latest conquest but I’d rather die than talk about it in a meaningful way.”

“First, I hope that wasn’t an impression of me.”

Your face took on a blank expression before you crossed your arms. Waiting for Jake to continue with his list.

“Second, I don’t mind talking about your … dates, as long as it’s not, you know-” He winced. “-sexual.”

“Jesus, that was a first date. And besides, I don’t know if that’s sexist or something else, that you’re allowed to talk about that stuff, but not me?”

“I don’t know why we’re going the feminist route, but with you it’s just different,” he mumbled before shrugging.

“Why?”

“Because you’re my best friend,” Jake responded fervently. “And none of these guys deserve you.” His voice turned quiet, becoming serious all of a sudden. “You deserve someone better.”

Disappointment filled your body at Jake’s perspective. Recounting all the times in your head when you would tell him how he deserved someone who could challenge him, yet appreciate the things about him which made him such a decent and caring guy. It was a pity that Jake would rather wallow in his self-loathing, while pretending to be the most egotistical guy that ever existed than to be vulnerable for once.

Your shoulders deflated when you realized that maybe he would never be ready to have a meaningful relationship—or any relationship at all that progressed over the 3-day mark—and you swore that a small part of you died right there on the kitchen floor. Feeling more hopeless than ever.

Before you could fully understand the reason why this bothered you so much, Jake’s concerned expression pulled you out of the deepest parts of yourself.

“What? What’d I say?”

You shook your head. Never feeling this gloomy before. “You know, for someone who claims to be so smart, you’re just so dang stupid.” Every single word felt like it was torn painfully from between your lips.

“What?”

You just felt too tired to make Jake understand. It felt easier to just turn your body away. Despite how much you hated appearing this careless towards him. “I got to go. I’ll see you later, Jake.”

~ Jake POV ~

“Well, someone’s in a bad mood.” Natasha teased him. Despite them having to endure the same punishment by being forced to do push-ups next to each other, Natasha still seemed to be in a formidable mood.

Jake turned his head. Not caring particularly that he sent her a dark glower.

“Don’t hang your head, Hangman. I doubt you could’ve evaded Mav’s hit on your best day.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled. Inwardly, he winced. His ma would have his hide if she heard him talking like that to anyone.

“What? No comeback? I wonder what else could be bothering you,” she mused to herself.

Natasha didn’t fool him one bit. Jake wondered if she had it out for him and that was why she focused so hard on Y/N.

“What do you think, Bob?” She decided to thrust the knife even deeper.

Even at the mention of his name, Jake swore his forehead garnered the first droplets of sweat.

Bob chose to focus on his push-ups before grunting, “I’m not getting in the middle of this.”

“You’re way too nice.”

Jake clenched his jaw. “Yes, someone’s a real goody two-shoes.”

Bob turned his head, looking bewildered. “What did I do?”

“Oh, just sweet and perfect Bob who can do nothing wrong.”

Heavy footsteps came closer. “Why do I hear chattering and see no push-ups over here?” Maverick’s voice came over their heads.

“Understood, Sir,” Bob automatically replied.

Jake kept his mouth closed. As much as it pained him.

After the completion of their punishment and he had taken a shower, Jake hurried after Natasha in the rec room. “I need to talk to you.”

Natasha tilted her head. “I thought we already did.”

“Who was the date?”

She exhaled in exasperation, glaring at him. “You’re so predictable, Hangman,” she said, turning around to leave.

“Wait, wait. I’m sorry-”

Natasha stopped in her tracks. She swivelled her head, frowning. “An apology? You just bought yourself two minutes of my time. Go on.”

“Was it Bob?”

Natasha breathed out slowly, pausing in thought. “…You have a weird fixation on Bob. I wonder why that is.”

Jake cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “I don’t-”

“Just kidding. I know why that is. And no. I asked, but he refused.” She shook her head, revealing that this bothered her more than she wanted to admit. “Honorable little fucker,” Natasha grumbled. She chose to clarify instead. “He wouldn’t have minded to date Y/N, but, you know- Didn’t he tell you this already?”

Bob did mention that. But Jake couldn’t help thinking that he might have changed his mind. He averted his gaze, feeling slightly depraved that he considered Floyd doing that. “Maybe. But still.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “What does it matter who the lucky fella was? What are you gonna do? Scare the hell out of them?”

It was indeed bad when someone like Phoenix could predict his future plans. “If it’s someone who doesn’t deserve her, then yes.”

She hummed. “If you know her so well, then tell me, what kind of person do you think Y/N deserves?”

Jake spread his arms. It felt strange how a list of things ran through his head and how they just rolled off his tongue. “Someone nice. Someone who just gets her and adores her little quirks. Just a gentleman.” He counted the amount of traits with his fingers. “Funny, maybe a bit sensitive or vulnerable. Good-looking, but that’s not as high up on her list as the inner qualities.”

Natasha remained quiet. Her brown eyes were staring at him with a profound expression. “Very insightful. Interesting qualities you just listed off. Anyone you know that could fulfil those strengths?”

At the mere mention, he felt like he was put in the spotlight. Either she wanted him to say ‘Bob’ – since those characteristics could cover him easily—or maybe utter his own name. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he wanted to be with you. And wanted to be a part of you.

Jake carefully glanced at Natasha. Not trusting her look of consideration, he narrowed his eyes. He spoke slowly. “I’m not sure.”

“Pity. I could be persuaded into making something happen, if you know what I mean.”

Jake licked his lips, knowing exactly what she was trying to get him to admit. He pressed his lips together.

“But … you would actually need to say the words.” She waited patiently before sighing. “My patience knows its limits though. So, if you got nothing to say, then…” Natasha pointed behind her to threaten her departure. She nodded to herself once before saying, “Okay.” And walked towards the exit.

Jake opened his mouth, as he watched her walk away. He didn’t understand where his courage was coming from when the words left his mouth. “Natasha, would you squeeze me in as Y/N’s date?” He knew how he’d usually call her ‘Phoenix’ or in very rare instances ‘Nat’ so he figured that she caught him in a vulnerable mood for a change.

She dramatically turned around and pursed her lips. “Depends. Will you also apologize to Bob for being an absolute dick?” She paused. “Again?”

Jake sighed. “Listen, I don’t-”

“It’s called being a decent human being. It’s the least you could do. Not to mention-” Natasha tapped her chin mockingly. “-I can’t imagine how Y/N would feel if she found out that someone was being this rude to sweet Bob. I mean, what do you think? How would she feel about that?”

He revealed a tight smile at the slight warning. There was no need to hit below the belt. He would have done it anyway if Natasha said he was being a jerk. “Fine, I got your point. I’ll apologize,” he grunted lowly.

She smiled cheerily. “Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You felt bad about ignoring Jake, you thought, while you waited in the midst of the amusement park of Belmont Park. Ever since this morning, things had been weird between you. Or Jake was just being his stubborn and obstinate self.

You had been baffled since Natasha sent you a message that the date location had changed. The more you looked around, you realized that you would’ve loved to spend time with Jake at this place. You exhaled with disappointment. Jake would absolutely force you on the roller-coaster, but then feel bad once your stomach was upset by buying you a funnel cake.

Deciding that your bond with Jake was far too important than to leave everything hanging like that, you yearned to clear the air. Pulling out your phone, you scrolled through your contacts until your thumb pressed against the name.

The sound of a cell ringing in the distance made you turn your body in uncertainty. You frowned once you saw Jake advancing with hesitation, waving an arm in greeting.

“Hey, you.”

You hung up your phone, trying to grasp his presence. “What are you doing here? Did you want to ride the Giant Dipper, or something?”

Jake smiled awkwardly. “I wouldn’t actually mind that. Depends if my best friend would be up for it too?” You tried to prepare yourself against his puppy dog eyes as he stepped closer. The movement made you take notice of his suave appearance. You swore you could feel your knees weakening when you saw him wearing his jeans and a pressed white dress shirt.

Jake rubbed his hands against the fabric of his pants.

Not wanting to hurt him, you spoke slowly. “That’s hard to say. I’m kind of on a date. Just waiting, I guess.”

“Yeah, I know. Natasha told me.”

You felt befuddled by his explanation. “Why … would she do that?”

“I asked her to?” Jake phrased the statement into a cautious question.

You pursed your lips as you tried to understand why she would do that in the first place. “Did you bribe her?”

Jake blushed at a memory when he explained with a gravelly voice, “I think I paid her off by giving her the satisfaction in seeing me grovel.”

“How did that look like?” You said, feeling fascinated by the concept of a begging Jake. Even that word didn’t seem to fit him.

“You don’t want to know, trust me.” Jake grew silent before something akin to hope lit up his eyes. “Why did you want to call me?”

You cleared your throat. “Why are you here?”

Teasingly, Jake pointed at you. “I asked you first.”

You sighed. “I wanted to clear the air.” Still, you were not above getting one small dig in. “Unlike some people, I wanted to be the grown-up one here.”

Jake narrowed his eyes. “Now someone’s just being cheeky.” He exhaled, willing to admit any wrongdoings. “I’m sorry for being a dick.”

“Why were you?” You spoke softly. Just because he was your close friend didn’t mean that Jake would get special treatment.

Jake stepped closer until you were only a foot apart. “Because I have a talent for it. Because it’s easier to just pretend. Because of you going out … with a naval aviator just pissed me off. Because I-” He breathed in, like he was preparing for you to hit him. “-I really, really like you.”

You blushed, not yet trusting if he meant it or if this was just some strange prank he wanted to pull off. “You like me,” you repeated, unable not to tease him just a little bit. “And here I thought most of the time I was your annoying best friend.”

“I think you’re confusing yourself with Javy.”

You cocked your head playfully. “Oh? Do you really, really like him too?”

He pursed his lips, like he needed to entertain that thought first. “He’s just alright, I guess. I mean, I more than like you. It’s like obnoxious.”

Wow, and here you thought, Jake could prove to be an adult for once. So, unless he decided to brandish a real love confession that didn’t sound like the most aggravating nuisance, you could do the same.

“Oh my God, you’re like a big kid, huh? Using those big boy words.”

His eyes were burning with sage fire. “You’re just so infuriating at times.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Says the great Jake?”

“That’s what I mean! You’re driving me absolute insane. You’re making friends with everyone you meet.” Jake counted at his fingers. “Maverick, Bob!-”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What’s Bob got to do with this?”

“He’s like-” Jake grimaced. “-And you’re-” He waved towards you, very eloquently describing the issue at hand.

“I think somewhere was a compliment. Let me just reiterate: you think Bob’s a great, wonderful guy and I’m just-”

“Perfect,” he uttered with a hoarse voice.

You inhaled deeply, stammering nervously. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”

“It’s still the truth.”

“What if you’re only saying all of this because you can’t stand the idea of me getting with a naval aviator?” You voiced your inner worries, absolutely needing him to be truthful.

Jake opened his mouth several times before admitting, “Partly true. But the truth is, Nat made me realize I was just being too chicken to fully admit that I … I can’t imagine not spending the day with you. You make me think about you all the time. Even when I’m out with the guys and I keep thinking ‘Oh wow, Y/N would love to try out that drink’ or ‘As much as you’re a talker during Sunday Night Football-”

“Not always,” you mumbled quietly.

“-you still make it fun.”

You pressed your lips together, feeling very nervous and emotional by his words.

“Maybe I just didn’t realize I was in love with you until the concept truly hit me, that you might be into a … nice guy like Bob.”

Despite his familiar self-loathing, you couldn’t help reminding him with a small smile, “You’re a nice guy too, Jake.”

“Only with you.”

Jake’s confession made your heart palpitate in your chest nervously.

“So,” Jake started, “what do you feel for me?”

You hummed to yourself before confessing, “Ditto.”

Jake huffed loudly. “Oh my God. Of course, you’d be aggravating about it.”

“I’m just saying, maybe I really, really like you too.”

He shook his head, trying to suppress a smile. As much as you could tell what he wanted to hear from you.

In the end, you chose to take a chance. “Let’s just say, there are more times when I realized over the years how I’m in love with you than the amount of times when I can’t stand you. The second is pretty close though.”

You couldn’t have been prepared for Jake’s wide and blinding smile.

“Ditto.”

You rolled your eyes, while revealing a small smile on your lips. You decided to put him out of his misery when you admitted, “Nat was my date.”

“Wa-wait, what?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “She said that she had a specific guy in mind, but he wasn’t ready yet. I just thought it was someone who was still out on a mission. So, we hung out last night.”

Jake still remained confused. “And did what?”

“Nosy,” you mumbled. “Karaoke and stuff like that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He inquired with wide eyes.

“I wanted to, but you decided to be a jerk about it.”

Jake narrowed his eyes, shaking his head. “Nat ‘Fucking Mastermind’ Trace.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Jake looked at your surroundings, hiding his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Do you want to go on a date?”

You smirked. “Like a platonic one?”

“Nope, like a real one. You know, the romantic kind. I promise to make it a bit fun, unique and unforgettable.”

“That’s a big promise.”

Jake smirked arrogantly. “I’m aware. It also perfectly describes me.”

You groaned loudly. “And here we go. I want Nice Guy Jake though and not the obnoxious one.”

He was walking alongside you, nodding. “I’ll tell him to take an off-day.”

“What is it about you and Bob though? He’s just a really stand-up guy. Really funny.”

“So am I.”

“Sometimes. Let’s just say, we just get each other. You know, cut from the same cloth.”

Jake hummed. At least he was no longer being a caveman when it came to Bob. “Okay,” he said, laying his arm over your shoulder.

“I mean, he was just helping me rent an apartment in the city,” you explained, gauging his reaction.

“What?”

“Yes, he offered to put in a good word and Nat sent me a few listings.”

It seemed like the rare event of a speechless Jake took place. “Huh, that’s-”

“As I live and breathe, a speechless Jake Seresin was just seen out and about.” You glanced at him through your eyelashes. “I think you were about to say that’s a real stand-up guy thing to do, huh?”

Jake sighed, not wanting to admit reluctant respect before mumbling something under his breath which sounded close to, “Damn it, now I really got to apologize.”

You turned your head. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s okay. There’s still time for you to deal with your big boy emotions,” you replied before you chose to do something new. By taking his hand and interlacing your fingers together. “And here I thought, judging from your letters, you had more of a rivalry thing going with Bradley.”

“I know, right? I thought I would feel threatened by Rooster of all people. But Bob?”

“Let’s just say, in another life Bob would’ve swept me off my feet,” you retorted, patting him against his chest.

His blank expression could be described as something where he tried to imagine that so-called horror reality. “… Don’t even joke about that.”

[cuephrase]

from the questionnaire:

are there any results that really surprised you or that you didn't expect?

oooooh good question!! for me personally, no, not really? at least nothing that automatically comes to mind, so yk, don't quote me on that if i share data later and say "this surprised me/i didn't expect this!!" lmao

ummmm, hmmm. well actually okay, so i did expect Tim to be the Most Disliked Robin, but not by such a margin, if that makes sense? more like, logically one of them was going to be the most disliked even if only like 10 people disliked a Robin and my bet was that Tim would have the most votes, by process of elimination/other hypotheses. i wasn't upset by the results, if you've seen the post you know i was incredibly entertained.

there were definitely some results that were a relief? like they aligned with my personal predictions, but it was still really nice to see them.

oh, something that did surprise me was the amount of commentary i got on batcest!! there is zero discussion of shipping in the questionnaire, which is mainly why i wasn't expecting so much commentary, and there's not really a whole lot of ship discussion apart from batcest stuff that i remember- i did think i might get a couple mentions of it but i got a lot more than a couple lmao.

in favor of and against, to be clear, and to be even clearer to anyone reading- this is not an invitation to share your thoughts about batcest with me, i truly do not care. not to be rude, either, like i don't care if you love it or hate it, i just have zero interest in discussing it since a) my blog is mostly gen and b) i don't see any benefits in engaging in discourse about batcest 🫶

on the individual response level, there were some things that surprised me in isolation, but made perfect sense in the context of the responder's answers, like for instance one person said they didn't see Dick as brothers with any of the boy Robins except for Damian, because "he doesn’t really interact with a lot of the other robins in canon", that being said, the only eras they said they read were pre-crisis and rebirth. makes a lot more sense in that context. like i was thrown for a loop, but then i saw the full picture and i was like, "oh. okay."

let this be your daily reminder that the statement "i read comics" means basically nothing lmao. and i don't mean that as a dig at that responder, not at all, just that if you're someone who reads comics you cannot assume that someone else also reading comics means that you guys will be on the same wavelength. not because canon is nebulous and unknowable imo, but just because there's a lot of it!!

also!! a decent amount of people said i was brave?? that freaked me out a little, because i hadn't really...i didn't think i was stepping into shit, okay? in hindsight, i realize that that was naive of me, but idk. i wasn't thinking about the results in that way, and i also really didn't think i was going to get much interaction either- i was floored by the engagement the questionnaire got. but yeah, idk, i was just genuinely curious to see if my theory had any weight, i wasn't thinking about the broader implications of what the data might reveal. whoops.

and here's what surprised my wonderful data-crunchers:

@chinajousama: Hmm, I think one thing that did surprise me was how little the types of Robin media actually impacted the results [of the Most Disliked Robin]. Aside from that pocket of Jason hate from the post-Crisis fans, everyone was remarkably consistent. Also, it wasn't really a surprise, but it was extremely funny to see how big the gap between tim and literally anyone else was, dislike wise.

(we got an ask about if the media/eras consumed impacted which Robins were disliked, so that math has been done, but i haven't shared the results yet, sorry!!)

@tevyaa: Lots! Off the top of my head: - I was sure that the clear winner of the most disliked Robin poll would be Damian. He's the only one I've ever really seen hate for - probably because I entered fandom through Tim-centric whump fic 😂. I was shocked that it's actually Tim who the fandom is most annoyed with. - I was surprised how much of the fandom does actually read comics! I would have guesstimated that the comics/non-comics fans were something like 50/50, and was shocked to find out that only 15% of fandom doesn't read comics (and only about 4% doesn't interact with canon at all, including comics/ games/ animation)

(dw, we haven't released any data apart from the MDR yet, but you'll be able to see the breakdown of comics read/canon interaction eventually!!)

ty for the ask, anon!! i hope you enjoyed the answer!!

[empressgeekt]

I finished reading this really cool fic in a ‘what if Clay received the Brozone letter?’ AU and it kinda miffed me that they described Pop Troll village with zero defenses (there ain’t no way Branch doesn’t have anything post trolls 1&2) so I mashed the Field of Forget Me Nots AU into it and it’s a very fun take! Especially when you add Keith to the hijinks 😁

The fic is called ‘Caught in the Middle’ and other than the zero defense thing (that I am taking way too personally) it’s a seriously good read!

Oh! I have read that one it's very good. Hmm...if such events were to happen in FoF it could go a number of ways...

When entering Bergentown, JD, Bruce, Clay and Viva are apprehended by the Forest Guard (Probably Tresillo, Spoiler I'm having him and his crew join up with the guard after TWT). They arrest are merry band of Out-of-the-Loopers, holding them until after the ceremony. Viva would be trying to talk to the guards trying to tell them that they were all in danger of the bergens, and they would give no reaction other then looking at her like she's crazy. They'd bring Branch in, and he'd be pissed off after Viva started talking. "it's my job to keep trolls safe and you causing a scene wouldn't be good for anyone." "If you're supposed to keep them safe why haven't you escaped!?" Needless to say they don't get every far in terms of having and actual conversation. JD would step in trying to get back on topic. Branch would shut that down having recognized his brothers and would not want them to go poking around his new family. "Bitty B hasn't been seen the in village since before the escape. It's all to easy for a trolling to get lost in the tunnels. I'm sorry but your brother is dead." Enter Poppy, carrying a hungry Keith. The queen wants to know what's the hold up because it's time for the reception, and Keith wants some cake, during which she'd say Branch's name cue, very awkward meeting. John Dory would still initiate the hug and still get bitten by Keith. Viva still has her panic but she can't run away with all the guards, leaving both her and Poppy to stew in shock and hurt, but quickly make up. The Brother's not so much. Branch isn't gradually reintroduced to them, so he doesn't have time to get excited about a reunion it's just straight bitterness, even more so with Keith present and his own experience as a big brother himself. At some point Branch would have to pull Poppy away to explain his side of everything. The elder brother's would use this chance to introduce themselves to their, as they assume, "Nephew". Keith's having none of it. Only corrects them saying he was Branch's real brother and then ignores them. They would bring Peppy in and things get ever more awkward, and Branch lays into him. At some point, they'd explain what happened to chef and how she was burned alive for her crimes, which would lead to how Branch missed it due to being in the hospital from the knife wound she gave him. He'd take the helmet off revealing his scar (and maybe eye patch). Brozone is horrified. Keith would twist the dagger in that guilt wound by saying something like, "It was hard since we didn't have any family to help. I had to stay with Poppy, while Branch was in a coma."

Or...they'd successfully get pass the guard and manage to grab Poppy. Only this time they don't just grab Poppy, she's had been mid hug with Keith when Viva snatched her, que very protective and pissed off Branch. This man jumped in front of a powercord for Poppy and Keith, no one is taking them on his watch. He holds his Brothers and Viva at sword point, his soldiers quickly surrounding them, drawing their bows. He recognizes them, but currently he's too mad to care. Viva tries to talk to Poppy, which leads to a freak out, when Viva tries to run, Branch would hit her with a blow dart knocking her out. The next few minutes are tense, Branch tells Poppy to take Keith back to the wedding, and sends all the guards back to their posts. Bruce John and Clay would try to talk to him, but Branch cuts them off, he's not in the mood to talk, so he paces until Poppy comes back, this time with her father. Keith would run over and hug Branch, before crawling into his hair. After Branch loses it at Peppy for a moment, they eventually decide to regroup at Pop village. Viva conked out on the bed in Rhonda as they drive. In the journey, Keith would hop out of Branch's hair to only give Poppy a hug and steal some of the gummy worms she had been hiding in her puffy skirt. With a calmer atmostphere, the Brothers would get a full story on the bergens out of the couple and trolling. Branch would take off his helmet, and reveal the scarring, much to the brother's horror. Branch and Keith are very salty the whole trip.

A few events that happen later would remain the same. Like Clay burning the Funderdrawers, keith would only comment that Clay and John, "Look stupid" Fighting over underwear.

However there would still be many differences, Keith wouldn't eat anything that Bruce cooked so Branch would make dinner, and later in the night, I think that they would peek in on Branch putting Keith to bed, and it really sealing in that these two are family. Jealousy over this and hurt over how closed off Branch is would burn really bad. Espeically for Clay, "Who was this Kid anyway? just a stray that anyone could've picked up!" Clay doesn't like unknown variables and Keith is an unknown. For some reason with this kid here, he thinks that branch wouldn't help them, since he has a brother that he clearly likes better then any of them. Bruce in this context would be a little hurt but he gets it, he had a family of his own now as well. John would come around. More family the merrier.

While practicing Branch would be much more vocal about not breaking out in to an argument in front of Keith, and get them to all shut up after a first run through. John Dory would probably, say that Keith wouldn't sing with them because....technically not family...Branch, Poppy and Keith would glare at him for this. But secretly Branch would be relived not wanting Keith wrapped up in the boy band nonsense. I have a feeling that Branch and Keith would pick up on Clay's hesitance about moving earlier. Keith's very aware, and Branch had to become better at reading people sing Keith's is usually so flat in emotional display. Clay wouldn't want Branch's help at first though, to embarrassed and in denial to take help form his baby brother and the orphan he took in.

When the Putt Putts are having diffuclty believing in a bergen truce, Branch would take off his helmet showing his scar and claiming, "Even if the bergens were still a threat, we have a full militia of trolls trained to take down the largest of predators." "Bergens?" "Even Bergens...wolves, snakes, birds, take your pick. I've taken them all down." "Really?" "B*tch, I stabbed the chef for f*ck's sake! What do you think this scar is?! A fashion statement?!"

When reuniting with Floyd. Branch wouldn't go over to the bottle with the others, he'd stay by Poppy, cradling Keith because all the strangers looking at them would make the kid uncomfortable. After hearing Bruce say that he was an Uncle, Floyd would make the incorrect assumption that Keith was branch's son, and he feels bad about missing out on that. Also the fact that Branch barely interacts with him, when comparison the Puttputts ask about the militia Branch happily talks to them, hurts. it hurts bad. Little Keith hasn't look his way once. Floyd would also be confused as to why, John or Branch didn't want Keith in the song with them. Kid's family it's a family harmony.

Probably by the end of it all it would be pretty similar to the epilogue of the usually FoF. Viva and definitely a few of the puttputts would Join the guard, and Clay would as well, focusing on mor domestic safety things while Branch worried about protection from outside forces, war, predators, natural disasters etc. A nice attention to an already goo protection system.

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

status of babbit's life yeehaw

tl,dr: busy moving and a couple of other big life things that just complicate things, but well on the way to being back to normal! new fic chapters and better quality art coming soon.

tl,wr (too long, will read):

Helloooo what's up its me, Babbit. or Rabbit. or Bones. or Idiot Moron Menace Child, idk im not picky lol

i know a lot of you guys have been wondering wtf is up with my upload schedule lately and the extreme lack of even basic content and also i am extremely aware that i have not updated my fics in a few millennia and for that i am very, very sorry. this post is to answer a few questions you might have, if anyone was curious about the 'reason' instead of just the 'when.'

my family and i have had a hell of a year, y'all. like, jesus christ, i really hope things level out and calm down for a while once we're moved in to our new apartment bc god damn we are so tired. the list goes: 1. we got kicked out of the house we were renting-to-own bc we wouldn't be able to afford the new rate, so they gave us two months to find a new place to live (not long enough, it turns out) and then foreclosed to get us out. 75% of our belongings were still in the house when we had to leave. that includes all of our christmas ornaments- including the ones kept for decades, and the ones made by me and my siblings, and the fancy ones made from blown glass. 2. the first night out of the house, one of our dogs, freaked out by the strangeness of the situation, panicked and slipped her harness and ran off. that was over a year ago. we haven't seen her since. 3. my cat got very ill and became unable to eat. she passed away almost exactly a year ago. she had been 14-15, and had been my baby since i was maybe 8. 4. one of the tires on my dads car blew out. during the night, while it was parked on the curb so he could put the spare on in the morning, one of the in-tact tires was fucking stolen LMAO 5. we applied to rent at so many places and got rejected so, so many times. it costs money to apply, btw. we're talking like $200+. no, u don't get that money back. 6. i lost my job bc knowing i would have to work 8 hours at a job that stresses me out to the point of exhaustion (at a place where no one takes me seriously and would actively laugh at me when i try to express my need to step away for a minute) sometimes paralyzed me and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel unable to leave the house, and i called out one too many times. a day after my birthday, too! 7. just recently, like within the last week, my dad's car got fuckin totalled!!!!!

THE GOOD NEWS IS WE OFFICIALLY, FINALLY, AFTER A SOLID YEAR, HAVE AN APARTMENT!!!!! I'LL HAVE MY OWN ROOM AGAIN!!! THERE'S AN ENTIRE KITCHEN!!!!!!!

the 'oh god' news is we still have to move in, and replace a lot of the stuff that we just couldn't take with us when we moved out (mostly stuff like bookshelves, dining table, dressers, etc) AND get the few things we could cram into a storage center out and moved into the new place, which isn't a lot but at the same time is more than we can realistically handle on our own. and then, we have to get my mums cats (a pair of kitty sisters that we had to temporarily house with my aunt, who got tired of looking after them and let them outside to be outdoor cats a few months ago. yes, this was an extremely shitty thing to do, and we've been working hard to get them back safely) AND my gecko (who my cousin has been looking after, even tho feeding him worms freaks him out LMAO yes i plan on compensating him) moved in, as well... basically oh my god there is so much to worry about but at the same time it's nice to have to worry about it bc it means we're making progress sdkfhsjdkfhdsjfh

basically i am just so tired but so busy and also thinkin abt so much im so sorry for lack of stuff but i am so looking forward to being able to bounce back, pls stick with me, it'll be sorted out soon i think and then i'll hit y'all with some good stuff i promise!!!!!!!

anyway thank u guys i love u and appreciate u all for sticking around

[fumifooms]

Hello! I came across your blog after completing danmeshi manga and realising that marchil altered my brain chemistry. I just want to thank you so so much for your posts and for how you present your views because it's difficult for me not to feel like I'm a freak as I've seen so many posts calling shippers just that and I'm really insecure. Reading your posts and seeing that the fanbase actually exists even makes me want to finally publish here some fanart which I haven't done in years lol.

💖💖💖 I’m glad I could help!! Fandoms are rough sometimes, especially when fans want to wage shipping wars.

I think it’s important to be able to separate analysis from wish fulfillment, the line between "my ship is informed by my reading of canon" and "my reading of canon is informed by my ship" is very blurry, but self-awareness and being able to see and acknowledge multiple reasonings and options when analyzing is good and mostly fixes the issue, also being able to be upfront when you’re doing analysis or doing ship talk. Otherwise you end up with a lot of people joking about extreme and strained readings of canon and not being able to tell wether they actually are joking or they believe it, and such and such.

Both fans that sneer at shippers and shippers who dislike specific ships will take opportunities to push others down, and if you want to keep your head down because of it for your comfort and peace of mind that’s super valid. But! It is super gratifying to post openly about ships you enjoy and things that mean stuff to you and to make and post fancontent for it. Especially rarepair wise where the chance that you become a pillar of the community is very high haha. Everyone would be overjoyed to see your art!! We also have a marchil Discord server if you’d like to join, it’s small but passionate and it could be a way to share your art and thoughts privately in a safe space, you can find the link for it on my blog in a post tagged marchil.

The hate can be strong but we’re stronger together!! Sparkle on and be yourself!! Be the lighthouse you wish others could have in the community!! A lot of people call us freaks for dumb reasons, and a lot of people call us delusional for even dumber ones. Marchil is literally just so sweet and meaningful, I’m sorry if anyone’s mad that canon gave them good chemistry and made them glued at the hip lol. We were 3rd most written about ship on ao3 for months and that’s not bc we’re a big ship but because we were like 5 dedicated regular writers for them. The ship is currently at 75 fics!! Our work piles up and comes together to be a strong community!! The fanbase needs YOU!!! Obsessed freaks some of us may be, and I for one wear the badge with pride… Maybe too much, if you visualize me going out in public with my marchil itabag lol. Ahhh they have consumed my life <3

[misc-obeyme]

that fem villain mammon art makes me feel so many things, i went crazy when i saw it and my tags for it reflected that

LIKE I'LL JOIN YOUR SIDE ANY DAY MA'AM, JUST ONE CHANCE IS ALL I NEED PLEASE INCAN MAKE YOU SO HAPPY

if there was ever a curse where mammon got turned into a woman, I'd die on the spot. Solomon had an experiment that went wrong and now him and Mammon are affected (mcsolomams heart says it's because they were all hanging out together in his room)

I can only imagine what they would do if they both got turned 😭 team up and mess with me probably. please guys i am fragile, and i WILL run away and hide for my own sake. Like they think i get flustered now?? crank it up to ten. THEY'D GET A KICK OUT OF IT TOO !!! i hate them (said with sickening affection)

like the dame events had me in a chokehold. I can tell you I definitely dropped my phone and yelled when I saw the mammon card like HE HAS A THIGH ACCESSORY AND MESH PANELING AND LIPSTICK that i want to ruin WHO SAID RHAT

i am just a weak woman when it comes to pretty women *head in hands* it's the bisexual in me

anyway HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL !!! work is breathing down our necks to meet our credit card goals, and my store manager is trying to plead for me and the replen manager to get a raise so HOPING !!! (IT WASN'T A RUMOR TECHNICALLY YIPPEE)

I've started giving my cashiers stickers for getting any kind of sign up or application and 😭 it's kinda endearing how excited some of them get. Like even the one's who seemed kinda skeptical/thought it was silly are immediate telling me over the walkie when they get something

barbatos giving mammon stickers when he gets good grades, or a shiny sticker and a kiss when it's an A grade

ALSO MY STORE MANAGER GAVE ME A $25 GIFT CARD TODAY AND BOUGHT US PIZZA BECAUSE I WAS WORKING THE MORNING FOR ONCE 😭 HE SAID THEY REALLY MISSED ME WHILE I WAS ON VACATION LOLOL

okay im done I think HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/AFTERNOON!!!!

OKAY RIGHT. The bisexual in me was also freaking out lol. I was like wow I don't think I've ever wanted anyone to step on me before, but FOR HER-

They would absolutely mess with you, there is no way that scenario could go down any other way lol. Like oh? You like us this way, huh? Let us show you just what we can do~

Cue heavy flirting and teasing and wow I would not be strong enough to resist them.

Oh yeah Mammon's dame card nearly killed me with his stupid thighs I was like EXCUSE YOU. How dare you, you were already pretty enough as a man, now you're gonna go ahead and hit me with the thigh bling??

OH YAY I hope they get you that raise!!! You deserve it!!

Listen, I would be thrilled if someone was giving me stickers for doing a good job. It's the simple human brain, we like rewards. I have a sticker system for when I'm actually writing my novels where I award myself a sticker for every 500 words I write. Needless to say they haven't seen any use in ages because I abandoned my novels for fanfic lol. I tried using them for that instead but it was harder because I never know how many words things are gonna end up. At least with novels I know it's gonna be over 50k so like 500 is a good goal for a daily amount. (And I always wrote more than that anyway so my little section gets full up with sparkly stars tee hee~)

Anyway, the point here is that stickers are fun and make people happy!

Now listen... Barb's rewards for Mammon are officially in smut town because of the tags you left on that fic, by the way. I was like OH. That's right, he did abandon his homework to come be with Barb and if Barbatos knew that...? Anyway part two is going to be posted soon and you'll see. Not me already thinking about part three, I have a problem.

YESSSS pizza!! This is the thing, employers don't know how much they rely on you until you're gone! LOL!

I hope you have a lovely day/night as well! 💕

[yangxteez]

᥆᥎ᥱr ᥲ ᥴᥙ⍴ ᥆𝖿 ᥴ᥆𝖿𝖿ᥱᥱ (𝚗𝚊𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚌𝚔)

genre: tooth-rotting fluff, no warnings apply

inspiration: being bored in health class while scrolling thru youtube really does you wonders

Cross-posted on ao3, do not steal plz! <3

What most people believed to be a blessing; Park Jaemin considered a curse. He blinded him, and he could not think of anything else when he was in his presence. This 'he' was none other Lee Donghyuck himself, otherwise known as Haechan. He had met Haechan at a coffee shop down the street while ordering iced Americanos for him and his best friend Jeno. 

"Good morning! What would you like?" After that first smile, Jaemin knew it was too bright for him to handle. Jaemin couldn't say anything, he was too busy staring straight at the sun. "Hey Donghyuck," Jeno piped up, side-eying Jaemin. Said boy then turned his head and looked at Jeno. "You know him?"

"Yeah, we have a few classes at uni together, you too, but you've never really been one to notice others or talk to anyone outside of our friend group," Jeno replied. Jaemin rolled his eyes while Donghyuck snickered. "Yeah, actually, I've seen you around," the sun-kissed boy said, addressing Jaemin. "I just thought you didn't want to talk, you seemed intimidating." 

Jeno shrugged, shaking his head a little bit. "He's not intimidating at all; he just zones out a lot. No need to worry about him, he's a real sweetheart." Jaemin grimaced at the description of himself but warmed a little on the inside. Did Jeno really think of him like that?

Donghyuck smiled slyly at them and asked, "So Jeno, is there something you need to tell me?" Jeno turned bright red, and Jaemin just looked back and forth between the two boys, utterly confused. "Tell him what, Jeno? Is something wrong?" 

"No, nothing's wrong! And Hyuck, you know it's not like that. On the other hand-" Jeno straightened his composure, smirking viciously. "Is there something you wanna tell Jaemin?" Donghyuck glowered at Jeno, practically baring his teeth. "Lee Jeno if you don't shut your trap right now-"

"You both realize we're in a coffee shop, right?" The people behind them weren't complaining, they were watching an A-list k-drama for freaking free. They probably just wish they were drinking a cup of coffee while doing so. "Jeno, let's just order and get out the way, then you two can continue your little spat later," he said, focusing back on the menu. After they had placed their order, Haechan said, "Guys, wait for me until my shift is over, alright?" Jeno nodded, which meant that Jaemin was now stuck with two brats. 

"Fine," Jaemin sighed, crossing his arms. 

"Oh, and Jaemin?" 

"Yeah?"

"It was nice meeting you." He winked at him, then turned to continue his work as if nothing had happened. 

Jaemin felt a tingle all the way from his feet to his scalp. He was lightheaded and dizzy, blinded by staring at the sun for too long. He felt like he was on fire, but he couldn't move, as if he was frozen. "Um, hello? Earth to Jaemin?" Jeno said, waving his hand in front of the blond's face. "I-I'm fine," he said, snapping out of his trance. "Let's go sit." 

They sat down, being quiet for a while. Jaemin kept spacing out, too many thoughts running through his head. His eyes kept drifting to the head of honey-brown curls he wanted to touch so badly-- what? What was he even thinking? He couldn't be daydreaming about a guy he just met, with his heart-shaped lips, the sparkle in his deep, brown eyes, the-

"Looks like you have a little crush on someone," Jeno chirped gleefully. Jaemin almost spluttered his delicious drink he was sipping on when he heard that. "N-no, no way! How could you even say that?" he whispered, not wanting anyone to overhear.

"You've been staring at Hyuckie for a while now." 

"N-no, I haven't..."

"See, even you don't seem to be so sure about that."

"Okay, s-so what if he's a little bit attractive? It's not my fault!" 

"Awww, my Jaeminnie is finally growing up-" Jeno sing-songed in a playful voice.

"Sh-shut up! You're too loud, someone could overhear-"

"Hey guys! What are we talking about?" 

Both Jaemin and Jeno looked up to see none other than Donghyuck standing over them. Jaemin almost fainted from embarrassment. "How long have you been standing there?" Jeno asked cautiously. 

"Long enough to know that our Jaemin has a crush, and now I wanna know who," Haechan replied, sliding casually into the seat next to Jeno to face Jaemin. Our Jaemin? Since when? He would never admit how his heart fluttered when Haechan uttered those words. Jaemin sighed in relief when he realized that Donghyuck had no idea that the crush was him. "N-no one," Jaemin mumbled, putting the straw in his mouth and slurping noisily. 

"What's wrong? I won't tell anyone, promiseeee~" Haechan whined. Jeno smirked around his straw, waiting to see what Jaemin would do next. Jaemin blushed, covering his face with his hands. "I'd rather not-"

"You're so cute when you're nervous, you know that?" Haechan crooned, propping his chin on his hand, staring right at Jaemin with a sweet smile. Jaemin almost melted on the spot. This is too much, he thought. He looked to Jeno for help, but the meanie just shook his head and looked at his phone. "Look at the time, I have a lecture in 30 minutes! Gotta run," Jeno grinned and leaped out of his seat. He shot Jaemin a thumbs up mouthing, You got this!, and ran out of the coffeeshop. 

"Does he know it's a Saturday...?" Haechan asked, watching as Jeno tore down the street. Jaemin said nothing, he was just trying to focus to make his hands stop shaking. "Hey, what's wrong?" Haechan asked, looking at Jaemin worriedly. "Are you sick? I hope it wasn't the coffee I made you-"

"It's nothing," Jaemin whispered, hugging himself lightly. What the heck was he supposed to do? He was alone with Haechan, he was alone with Haechan- 

"So, about the guy you like- is it, is it Jeno?" Haechan rubbed a hand against the back of his neck, looking dejected. Was he jealous? No way- "No, it's not him, unfortunately." Hyuck lit up and tried to cover it up, which did not go unoticed by Jaemin. "But what do you mean, unfortunately?"

Jaemin sighed, unwrapping his arms from around his torso and placing his hands on the table. "You see, Jeno is my best friend. We've known each other for years, since childhood. He's so good to me and knows me so well, I hope to find someone who is willing to get to know me like he does. Honestly, it would be easier to date Jeno, he would take really good care of me, and he already does-"

"No!" Haechan banged his fists on the table as he said this, causing others to stare at them. Jaemin slunk lower in his seat, startled. "Dude, what's your problem? I just said-"

"I like you, Na Jaemin." Jaemin's eyes widened in shock, convinced he was hallucinating. "W-what? Did you hit your head or something?"

"No, I like you, and I have for a while," Donghyuck said, reaching over and tucking a strand of Jaemin's hair behind his ear, letting his fingers linger on his face. "I thought you were cute the first time I saw you in class. You never talked to me though, and you were always with Jeno, so I thought I'd never stood a chance." He looked at Jaemin, meeting his ever-shocked gaze, his eyes conveying his vulnerability and confessing things that human words weren't enough for. 

Jaemin took a breath and averted his gaze. He was silent for a moment, gathering his courage. "Listen, if you don't like me back, just say so," Donghyuck sighed, starting to get up. "No, wait-" Jaemin grabbed his wrist, then let go ashamedly. "It was you," he whispered. 

"What was me?" Donghyuck asked, sitting back down. "It was you; we were talking about you." Jaemin turned beet red, hiding his face with his sweater paws. "I have a crush on you too." 

Haechan beamed. "Could you say that again, I couldn't really hear you-"

"Way to kill the mood!" Jaemin screeched, burying his face in his arms. Haechan laughed, a sound that Jaemin hoped to hear for a long time. "So," Haechan started, "is this our first date?" Jaemin couldn't believe the nerve of this man, but he also admired his confidence, something he would fall in love with in the near future. "Yeah, our first date was a bunch of cringey exchanges and watery iced-Americanos. Perfect." 

Haechan giggled again and reached over the table to place his hand over Jaemin's. "Yeah, perfect."

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔ 　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶ ✦　　

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I would love to know your rankings of the live action (+ podcast) Bruce Waynes. :)

Janie you are one of the best tumblr mutuals anyone could ask for. so reasonable, never absorbed by stupid discourse, so fun to talk shit with. you were also sent from hell to kill me.

disclaimer 1: I'm excluding the 40s Batman serials because I haven't seen them and even I don't love committing to a bit so hard that I'm willing to watch them to make one (1) 5 note post.

disclaimer 2: all of my opinions are right and I'm not interested in arguing with anyone about any of this.

anyway, let's get rolling. as with the Riddler, we'll be proceeding chronologically!

Adam West (Batman '66) - 10/10

the sixties Batman series gets a lot of shit for being excellent, and I for one will not stand for it! its biggest crime is, I think, being itself and having a good time; it's stupid and charming and really funny, and I think Adam West is a rock solid foundation on which to build the show. his Bruce is a freak of the unflinching normie, devastatingly upright and pathologically wholesome while also a bit of a skank. I suspect he's too chummy with Republicans and yet I trust him with my life. I could write entire essays about what's going on with this man's masculinity. also worth noting that Batman 1966 is like, easily my second favorite live action Batman movie of all time. I love him, your honor.

Michael Keaton (Batman 1989 and Batman Returns) - 10/10

my BELOVED. for those of you wondering when I said '66 was my second favorite movie YES, Batman Returns is the first! Michael Keaton's Bruce is a grade-A freak of the week and I want to wrap him in a weighted blanket about it to see if that will possibly calm him down. his films are great because he's used sparingly, something that no fucking Batman movie knows how to do anymore, and it makes the screentime he does have so much more effective. his Bruce/Batman contrast is stunning - his Batman is an unblinking stalwart lunatic in a suit so crunchy he can barely move; his Bruce a charmingly inept sad sack in a sexy little sweater. and I can't even start talking about his dynamic with Michelle Pfeiffer's electric Selina Kyle or we'll be here all day. chef's kiss, Mr. Keaton.

Val Kilmer (Batman Forever) - Kiss From a Rose/10

right off the gate I would like to acknowledge that whatever else I may say about him, Val Kilmer has the most kissable mouth of any Batman. look at him! good for you, Mr. Kilmer!

anyway, I'm gonna level with you gamers: I've made absolutely no secret of my distaste for Batman Forever, which I think is genuinely dumber and worse than Batman and Robin. Kilmer's Bruce is serving us almost nothing; he's a stale whole wheat cracker to whom things are incessantly Happening. he's being aggressively propositioned by Nicole Kidman when he's Batman and by Jim Carrey when he's Bruce; Tommy Lee Jones keeps trying to murder him while giving a performance that would seem absurdly over the top if he weren't right next to the aforementioned Carrey; and he's just adopted a poor little 25 year old orphan with some serious attitude problems. everyone in this film is so much at all times, and between that and Joel Schumacher's intensely questionable direction I don't really blame Kilmer for deciding to say fuck it and make Bruce more of a mannequin than a man. I think there are some intriguing glimpses of the Batman that could have been here and there in his role, but he's ultimately done in by being trapped in an unspeakable clusterfuck of a movie.

George Clooney (Batman and Robin) - Bat Credit Card/10

where West's Bruce sidles through life with a veneer of normalcy that seems to be just barely concealing the potential to throw someone out a window at any moment, Clooney's Bruce genuinely seems like he's got his shit together. he actually seems to be reflecting the character arc he's limped through across three previous films and two recast actors, and as a result is so well-adjusted and fatherly that it's almost unsettling. who is this very normal man? why is dressing up like a bat to fight Austrian Mr. Freeze and drag queen Poison Ivy? surely he should be filing his taxes or going to a parent-teacher meeting to discuss his 30 year old son's behavior in class.

Christian Bale (Dark Knight Saga) - 3/10

real talk, friends: I don't remember Bale's performances that well, because I haven't watched one of his Batman movies since the Dark Knight Rises came out in theaters. I do not recall liking the movie, nor having any particularly favorable reaction to Bale at any point in the trilogy. I always felt his strongest performance was "Bruce Wayne being Batman playing idiot billionaire Bruce Wayne," portraying the pretense of Bruce better than he played either a sincere Bruce or Batman. dare I say it, I don't think Christopher Nolan let him be enough of a weirdo. disappointing underutilization of a man who who is extremely willing to be unhinged. three stars.

Ben Affleck (Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Justice League) - 10/10

I'm just going to say upfront that Ben Affleck's self-written/produced/directed/starred in Batfamily movie is my pop cultural white whale and I'm going to die mad about it, which should probably give you an indication of where this one is going. Batfleck is so perfect to me. that is my baby baby 40-something year old boy with manic depression and homicidal tendencies. is he going through a bit of a grimdark phase? yes. duh. it happens! but he feels soooo bad about it, and he spends the next movie getting bullied by literally everyone to make up for it. he's just so TIRED. this is a Bruce who's SEEN SOME SHIT. he's canonically lost a Robin; he's a grieving dad! he's broken and he's trying and more than any other Bruce I can see him driving around a minivan full of bastard parkour children. every day I miss him.

Robert Pattinson (Thee Batman 2022) - 10/10

when I heard certified real-life freakboy Robert Pattinson had been cast as my personal favorite fictional freakboy I felt hope about a DC movie announcement for the first time in years. and you know what? it was justified. Pattinson is a very specific take on Bruce Wayne that I definitely don't think works in all settings - a Bruce for all seasons he is not. but within his own miserable, wet little Gotham he can do no wrong. I love this pale, pathetic insomniac. I love that he hates eye contact. I love that he barely seems to willing to eat or sleep. I love how obviously confused he is in his attraction to Zoë Kravitz's Selina. I love that after the film's climax we find him covered in filth and working tirelessly to dig civilians out of rubble, offering comfort where he can. I'm so genuinely excited to see this version of Bruce continue too grow. that's my SON.

and since you threw in podcasts for no reason that I can immediately discern

Winston Duke (Batman Unburied) - 10/10

Winston Duke's take on Bruce is so profoundly dear to me. like Pattinson I think he's not exactly an archetypal Bruce but what he's serving is perfect for this universe, not least of all because Duke is voice acting his ass off. his Bruce is warmer and more emotionally vulnerable than most - he tells Alfred he loves him! - while maintaining the requisite cocktail of mental illnesses that makes Batman what he is, which makes him a wildly compelling narrator to ride along with. his Batman voice arrives late in the story but is absolutely worth the wait; Duke is bringing something positively primordial to the Bat that makes you understand instantly why the folks of Gotham might assume he's some kind of inhuman monster (something that also plays well with the fact that Duke's Bruce is, presumably, meant to be understood as a Black man, which puts his vigilante activities and difficult relationship with the police in a very different light than any white Bruce's). cannot wait to get more of him when the blessed second season drops and drills holes in my brain; you've all been warned that I will be unhinged at that time.

[technicalknockout]

I wanted to reply to some of the stuff from my ask, but didn't know whether to reblog it or send it as an ask, I thought it might be easier this way?

silly straws page - i read in 'dipper and mabel's guide to mystery and nonstop fun' that bill likes silly straws and thought it was a silly random tidbit, imagine how surprised i was when i realized there was LORE behind it.. im still figuring out some codes bc i dont wanna look them up and im having so much fun !!

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

stanford trying to keep me from reading the book page - "you cant hear the disappointed sigh im making rn, but i assure you it's devastating" i mean he failed to stop me from reading the entire thing in one sitting but i was just very happy to see ford's cursive again. It was really funny seeing him trying to guess what the reader would be convinced by (i saw the moth picture and thought 'whats that called, a goth moth?' I laughed out loud when it turned out that was actually its name)

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

urban legends page - as a long time fan of creepypasta the references in this page absolutely delighted me. Also the art is so realistically horrifying, whoever drew these i love you

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

the one true intelligence test - idk this page just made me laugh a lot

So freaking stupid i loved it so much. I think my favourite was the "divide this number in half" bit.

Entire anti-cipher society part - i love how instead of telling the story in just plain text, they made us follow the story with newspapers and journal pages. What was that called. I swear there was a name for that kind of storytelling if anyone knows pls pls tell me

That whole bit was so interesting. It was a really fun way of telling the story!

every page with ford and fiddleford - BEAUTIFUL. SUBLIME. BEST THING TO EVER EXIST IN THE WORLD. I HECKING LOVE FRIENDS BEING WHOLESOME TOGETHER AND I LOVE IT MORE WHEN THEYRE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM MY FAVORITE SHOW. THEY MAD SNOWMEN OF EACH OTHER THATS SO CUTE

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy.

Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg.

And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

"but my aim is getting better" - do i need to explain this one

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

whatever this page is called;

I hated reading this (i loved reading this). i kinda got spoiled before i bought the book with an analysis post, had to literally put my phone down and think about what id just read. i think this page really puts bill and ford's relationship into perspective. ford's a person and bill's a multidimensional semi-god creature, bill will do and say anything in his power to get ford to do what he wants. this relationship cannot even begin to resemble normal. and also the forgetting your own name part horrified me, thats some good horror right there.. love it when books make me have a visceral reaction to tiny words on paper

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

call transcript from the police - OH the LORE and CHARACTER ANALYSIS FOOD RIGHT HERE. i could talk for hours about how bill straight up sucks at relationships and he's SO unwilling to admit he was upset about falling out with ford that he's lying to himself MULTIPLE TIMES OVER AND OVER and how a lack of genuine connection with people is eating him up - but if i talked about all that this post would spiral into insanity real quick. Also drunk bill talking into the phone was very very sad and very very on character and i could hear hirsch's bill voice inside my head it was really good aghjgnkhhh

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

stan's page - I ALMOST CRIED AND I KNOW THATS KIND OF A WEIRD REACTION BUT I SAW THE STAN PAGE IN THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM OKAY AND IT WAS MAKING ME VERY UNWELL I WAS EXTREMELY RELIEVED TO JUST HEAR THIS MAN SO HAPPY AGAIN STANLEY PINES I LOVE YOU YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

AH GOD YOU REPLIED TO EVERYTHING ????? THAMK YOU

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

>:( he knows us too well he knows we'd give anything for more info about shermie...

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

Ive been stuck on the numbers one, im gonna give it one more try today but i think it's gonna take a brain bigger than mine jfbsjdkskfs im STEAMING aleeeeex why are you making this so hard for me/silly

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

does that imply ford tried to show bill his moth collection at some point ????? imagine jdbshfjsnf

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

I WHEEZED WHILE READING THIS ID NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT??? but like. it's definitely on character i fully believe it happened. i mean this man backflips out of windows why not hnskdkdshd thanks for putting that image in my head

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

YEE!!!!! I think they were allowed to take more creative liberty than in the actual show, being a book and all, and i think thats really cool.

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

WELCOME TO THE FIDDLEFORD FANCLUB MY FRIEND. ive been a fan of him since the legend of the gobblewonker tbh.. i tend to latch onto very random silly side characters that fill the specifically shaped holes in my brain. Loved him more when i found out he had lore, love him even more after reading the book. Yay fiddleford 🎊

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy. / Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg. / And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

i swear these two are absolutely adorable and that is an objective fact i will not take criticism. the page where ford was rummaging thru fiddleford's desk and found the glove prototypes broke me.

and also yeah the college photo ! i mean like. augh. how do i put this. theyre so friends. ford believed fiddleford was right even tho they barely knew each other and worked together and came up with an entire theory. idk it's so wholesome. AND FRILLIAM !!!!! FIDDLEFORD GOT FORD A LITTLE GUY AND FORD NAMED HIM FRILLIAM AND I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY SPRAY HAND SANITIZER IN BILL'S EYE FOR RUINING THIS. these two are dear to my heart im so so frickin glad they made up and are somewhat keeping in touch now..

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

I KNOW THE PAIN SO SO WELL NO ONE AROUND ME EVEN KNOWS THIS BOOK EXISTS. ILL CHEER WITH YOU WHO CARES IF WE'RE NOT ON THE SAME CONTINENT. FORD MY GUY SLAYYYYYY🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊👏👏🎊🎉🎉👏👏👏

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

exactly.. bill is a Scary Silly Guy™️ thank you tbob for reminding us. it was very on character and we appreciate it a lot. but like did you HAVE to make ford suffer for it :'(

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

Guy had it comin for him tbh. rest in therapieces bill ciphor reincarnate as a vole (also YOU WANT TO HEAR MY RAMBLES🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺???? dont mind me if i raid your asks sometime. or discord dms. whichever you prefer !)

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

JASIDNFJSNFKSS PRETTY ACCURATE ID SAY. Stanford pines you are absolutely awesome take my money

[nobodysdaydreams]

If Cutter and his little girlfriend are going to space, does that mean they're gonna get their hands chopped off too? (Also it looks like Duck Boy might be going for a redemption arc! Go Duck Boy Go!)

(or my reaction to Episode 47 and mini Episode 14 of Wolf359)

Welcome back dear readers! I managed to get another episode in as I pack for my vacation. Please enjoy!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Episode 47: Into the Depths

I love Hera's narration, and I love the thought experiment. It reminds me of split brain patients. (For those who don't know what a split brain patient is, or haven't taken a psych class, if we were to surgically cut your corpus collosum (the part of the brain the connects your hemispheres), your consciousness would split and there would basically be two of you sharing one body (but same memories, personality, intelligence, etc.). This is only done if there are life-threatening seizures in the area and removing it is the only way to stop them, but it's an interesting thought experiment because if there are suddenly two of you, what happened to the one?)

And... now Doug is freaking out. I guess the slaps aren't working.

"You will understand Hera." Shut it Whiskey Boy! This also makes me wonder how many "Hera's" we've seen.

Kepler: "I have no idea what's going on Doug, but I just can't stop being ominous. I swear I don't know what's happening, this is just how I talk at all times."

Conan and Clippy? 😂 The names Lovelace gives them.

Yes. Kepler was rude Lovelace. He had so much Whisky and did he share it? No. No he didn't. Selfish.

Ah it seems even you weren't in the loop Jacobi. Perhaps you might fancy a mutiny now?

She doesn't know she's a clone? That's cruel. Think of Jacobi! He died thinking he was the real Duck boy! That's an awful way to go. No one should die believing they're someone so cringe.

Warm up act? Kepler, shut up. And what other clones have shown up over the years? Cutter? Pryce?

Good question. What about Jacobi? Was HE going to die too?

Kepler: "Start listening to me. The only person who knows what's happening." You're just blackmailing them Kepler, you're not good for much other than threatening people and swirling around your Whisky.

Weapon designed to appeal to humanity? But...how do you know she's a weapon? And how do you know she can't fight it even if she is? Maybe Lovelace is stronger than the evil aliens! If they even are evil.

TELL HIM HERA! TELL HIM!

Jacobi: "What could motivate me?"

Me: *Holds up a duck*

Ah blue part of the star. 💙💫 That does seem to be important. Scary, but important.

"Jacobi, any thoughts?" When does he have any?

His hands are shaking? Oh yeah, your friend died, you killed someone, and your boss who lies to people (GASP) LIED TO YOU TOO! Oh if only SOMEBODY could have seen this coming. Really, anybody with ears and a brain.

Oh right. The other Jacobi. This entire time he hasn't been sure? AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT FEAR FEELS LIKE? It's a NEW FEELING FOR HIM???

I guess everyone has their limit. Duck Boy needs a therapist. A team of therapists. The best therapists, and even then, I'm not sure it will be enough.

"You don't know what working at Goddard is really like" "You have a cool dental plan. Hooray." "It's not about that."

So...they do have a good dental plan? 🪥🦷

"Going new places. Meeting interesting people....LITTLE KIDS?"

Kepler. You didn't. NO. Oh my gosh they have Anne and Minkowski's husband at gunpoint don't they? And they don't even know.

Punch his lights out Doug. Good job.

Though to be fair that IS what working at Goddard seems to be about. Threatening the innocent for a 0.0000000000001% chance that you MIGHT get something out of this in the end.

Poor Lovelace. Hera knows what you're going through though. Exactly, see she does!

"Nobody do anything stupid" it's too late for that Kepler, you're here.

Good speech Lovelace! And nice punch!

"Can we get a break" Nope. Sadly no.

Huh. Hands are glowing. That's...interesting. Maybe she has some cool magic space powers? Is it too much to hope for?

Oh. It's the Dear Listeners. Well. Hello. 👋

Hush up Kepler. 😂 I love how they still talk like Doug.

That's right Kepler. Violence doesn't give you authority!

DISARMING HIM! DOES THAT MEAN HE IS LOSING HIS ARMS!

But...if he doesn't have any hands...

Then...how will he enjoy the feel of the Whisky in his hands?

Doug is hiding 😂 Why is Doug me?

What process are they talking about? “The door won't stay open, we are waiting.” Waiting for what? For what?

Well, at least the aliens don't like Kepler. That's a positive in my book. 👍

Glad Kepler and Jacobi are in custody. But...how exactly are they gonna put the handcuffs on Kepler if he no longer has hands...

Yeah, Minkowski, I'm with Lovelace. You SHOULD be in command. I know you think you're doing what is right, but Lovelace is an alien so...

DOUG. DO NOT SAY THAT THINGS CAN'T GET WORSE. TRUST ME THEY CAN.

Who is this? What is this? Who is Cline? Who is Jordan? What is this? Dr. what now? This is a lot of characters.

Full read out? Minkowski better send them a message warning them about Cutter. USS Hermes? OH NO THEY'RE NOT CALLING MINKOWSKI THEY'RE CALLING CUTTER. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

Who is this? Who is the robot? Expunge the records? Ah yes, the black achieves. Oh Rachel.

"Say hi for me?" Hi to who? HERA oh no ew Pryce isn't it.

TRAVELING???

Please tell me Pryce and Cutter aren't coming to space. Unless it's to get blown up. In that case, they are welcome.

Mini Episode 14: One of Them

Oh they are listening to Jacobi and Kepler.

Looks like Jacobi might fancy a mutiny now.

Doug is me, I want snacks too 😂

"are you worried I can't get around Eiffel?" "Hey!" again, why is Doug me. 😂

Wow, Jacobi really DID care about Maxwell. Well then. Maybe the two of you shouldn't have been working for the bad guys then.

"What kind of officer have you been?" DANG DUCK BOY. GET THAT REDEMPTION ARC. GO DUCK BOY GO! 🦆

"I feel used. I feel experimented on. You treated me like one of them!"

Oh Duck Boy. Sweet silly little Duck Boy. Don't you get it? You've always been one of them. You, Hilbert, Maxwell, Kepler, even Rachel. You've always been one of them.

"You're addicted to gambling with people's lives and you lost!" EXACTLY!

"Neither one of us killed Maxwell." LIES! YOU COULD HAVE STOOD DOWN!

Jacobi is starting to realize that's not necessarily true. Good for him.

"I had my orders." So did Maxwell. So did Hilbert. So did Jacobi.

"You're just the middle link in the food chain" EXACTLY! YEEEESSSSSS!!! DUCK BOY IS FINALLY GETTING IT! AND THANK GOODNESS SOMEONE FINALLY IS BECAUSE HILBERT NEVER COULD! DUCK BOY! YOU'RE DOING IT! WADDLE YOUR WAY TO THAT REDEMPTION LITTLE DUCKLING! YOU CAN DO IT! 🐣

Thanks for reading dear readers. Sorry I didn’t have time to react to more, but I hope you enjoyed this!

[utilitycaster]

genuine question: why do you think the bells hells (and fandom at-large) keep including fearne in their “going to explode and kill us some day” group? like objectively laudna, imogen, fcg and chet have attacked others, but fearne hasn’t?

is it just her general fey morality issues? do they think she’s just too reckless and it’ll affect them? i guess i just don’t understand why they keep making a point to reinforce that she could?

This is a very good question, and I think it comes down to the nature of Bells Hells as a group and some valid observations from Orym in particular; and also, as with many things, is unwittingly reflected, warped, and magnified in fandom perception.

It's worth noting that Imogen hasn't attacked others - notably, her loss of control preserved the statuses of all of her party members while leveling a city block. She's done splash AOE damage to others but that's just the nature of AOE for any spellcaster. Similarly, any harm Ashton has done has been to FCG and Imogen while they were delving into their mind, and was unwitting and is easy to avoid. Chetney, Laudna, and FCG are the only party members who are actual, proven powder kegs, and all three are looking into solutions, with varying degrees of commitment and success.

So: Imogen, Ashton, and Fearne all fall into a category of "have somewhat unpredictable powers, and/or a penchant for causing problems on purpose", rather than "might kill us". It's worth noting that in the first conversation covering this territory, following FCG's murder spree, Orym specifically does just cite Fearne's thievery causing problems, so yes, it is an issue of recklessness rather than actual loss of control. (Also worth noting that, while Orym was interrupted, he does not include Imogen on the list of people who might freak out, along with himself). Meanwhile, in this episode, it's a case of Imogen and Ashton both feeling that their own powers are a problem even though that might not be the case, and believing the same of Fearne.

Now, the interesting parts:

First, Orym has in fact seen Dark Fearne in EXU attack him, and so I think he is in fact aware that there is a future, however unlikely, where Fearne does snap. I suspect, out of game, this future is no longer really an option since Fearne met her parents and learned that the postcards were a lie from Morri, and handled it fairly maturely; but it is something she and Orym have both seen.

I also think that Bells Hells, a group that is best defined as "fences make good neighbors, but also the conflict avoidance is consistently getting in the way of deeper bonding", are very invested in-universe in trying to smooth over the uncomfortable truth that actually, yeah, Chetney, Laudna, and FCG could fully lose control in a way that isn't true of anyone else. This is a whole other post about like, fandom and stories and D&D in general but Brennan's line in the EXU Calamity wrap-up about not everyone getting the same number of Christmas presents constantly echoes in my mind and I think that Imogen and Orym, two of the more tactful members of the party, are really reluctant to say "no, this really is mostly a Chet, Laudna, and FCG problem." And when you add that Imogen and Ashton do legitimately have powers they don't totally understand and have manifested in strange ways, just haven't caused them to snap in the same way the top table has, then yeah, it's easy to throw Fearne into that category. In short, the ambiguity of snapping meaning like, a mechanical loss of will and control over one's self vs. losing one's temper is also playing a big part here.

Finally, it's worth noting that after episode 3x31 it was very common for people to say that they suspect Orym is a powder keg himself, even though I think that's absolutely not true. Orym is someone entirely dedicated to service of others, and I think in his own way needs to be needed and useful just as much as Laudna does. And so while Ashton understandably tells him that he needs to have an outlet and take care of himself, and that they would personally hate being "the good one", Orym is perfectly content to be the good one. But the fandom did not think this, and I think that ties back into the "everyone gets the same number of Christmas presents" mentality, which, again, separate post, but is even stronger as a fandom perception than as Bells Hells' philosophy.

[moonfurthetemmie]

a little headcanon for Gouge :3

She sometimes uses the blood of her victims as paint.

In her apartment the place where she draws can be found some vials in which she keeps the blood there and she also has in different vials a different type of blood.

In the good ending, Finch finds them ( or whoever was searching her apartment to give her Terry as you mentioned in a post(?)

He is kind of disturbed and decides to throw them ( or give them to the medical wing?? I actually haven't thought of what he would do ) if you have an idea, pls tell

I think drawing with blood is really hard but since there are artists who draw with that kind of method. It would be cool if she does too. and impressive

oh my god i forgot this for ages??? I came on here for something else and saw this and went 'wait a second haven't i seen this before'

I must've gotten distracted a critical moment the first time I'm so sorry HJKGFDS

I can kinda see gouge trying to paint with blood, but she probably wouldn't do it in her apartment. Blood has DNA, and that could be a huge liability if anyone realized it was blood used in a painting.

Also, I believe all types of blood (from the same animal) would be about the same to paint with. This isn't based on anything other than "all the human blood seems to flow the same." I'm not even a medical professional.

I ended up thinking about this one a lot so I'm going to put it under a Read More. It gets deeper (it's not deep, just deep-er) than it needs to, so far warning.

Dog blood seems to be slightly different, though. and BEFORE ANYONE GETS ALARMED my dog has been having health problems and it's involved some bleeding. He's mostly okay for now. But, dog blood in particular seems to have more blood per blood drop than human blood. That sounds really dumb, but hang with me.

Blood looks like a lot more than it is when it gets outside of the body. This is true for humans, as well. Blood's just Like That. Dog blood seems to be Worse in that regard. Though, for hopefully obvious reasons, I haven't tested this. It's just an observation based on a few incidents and a handful of bits of info about the human body.

Though I supposed, there's also the chemical aspect of it. Different blood types, even within the same species, might react different to various chemicals used in painting. I imagine Gouge might want to experiment with coloring the blood, too, and depending on who (or what) she got it from, the pigments might react differently. And there's also, like, finishes and I know there's paint thinner. I wouldn't be surprised if there was thickener too, for if your paint is too soupy. And it might be helpful to make her blood-paint thicker to paint with it.

I'm actually really curious what would happen if you tried to mix blood with some pigments, but not enough to try. I have no idea where I could ethically get that much blood. I don't think I can. I imagine trying to set up a blood drive for artistic experimentation might get the police called on me. I mean, I'd be very obviously asking people to give it freely, so it's not like I'd be doing anything illegal, it's just that people will probably freak out. I would probably freak out initially too tbh.

Tbh more than anything my curiosity is the "huh, that'd be interesting. I feel like it might get interesting results. well, anyways" kind.

anyways what were we talking about

[sequesteredschizo]

cw // suicidal ideation & self harm 

thought too much about where I should post these words @ and where to do it if I did

Decided on here, both to challenge myself to be honest about how I'm doing and as a small private testament to myself, esp considering I can't guarantee I'll remember any of this later if I don't 

A few months ago I decided I was supposed to kill myself on April 26th 2024. I think something about doing that nullified certain anxieties of mine at times, for better and for worse. I thought the worst thing I could do that would ruin everyone I cared about was already going to happen, so I was able to loosen my grip somewhat on the people-pleasing and the social anxiety and the agoraphobia- maybe a sort of subconscious 'if something doesn't change, i will be dying. So I might as well try while I'm still around.' I've been callous and I've been unstable, but I also took risks (or, actions I that felt like risks to me) that landed me with more life-affirming results than I could have ever anticipated.

I sent texts I thought were annoying and stupid to people I wished I talked to more, I tried to eat like a well-adjusted adult person, I was honest with my dad about how hellish my disability was making my life for the first time. Etc etc. Anything to connect, anything to survive. I didn't care anymore. it felt like the end of the world. To everyone else it probably seemed like I was finally re-entering society, if anyone thought much of it at all (unlikely, imo.) At one point, I hurt myself worse than I ever had before, and without really meaning to, haven't done it since. It feels now like a microcosm of the bigger picture, just by coincidence. Doing better wasn't necessarily my intention, but it was a consequence of thinking I was fucking it all up one last time. Might as well throw all the chips in.

Last weekend I attended a wedding out-of-state for a relative I hadn't seen in years knowing id meet countless new faces and I didn't even freak out. And I was terrified, and I didn't want to go there and I didn't want to stay here but I did it anyways. Turns out I don't think I've ever felt so loved and welcomed and appreciated in my life. The people I reached out to on a whim, because what was the worst that could happen? Some of them actually respond back, fucking shocker. My dad is trying to stop pretending I don't exist. I'm a little less malnourished. So those are all good developments.

I feel like I reached up into an empty sky with the very last dregs of energy I had and by some miracle, just enough of the universe reached back. I don't and didnt want to scar and endanger my struggling loved ones because I couldn't be strong enough to deal with myself. It had to be my last option, after truly trying everything I could. I didn't even do much, and I didn't expect it to work. I didn't expect my favorite band to be dropping new shit on my due date. I didn't know that I would really honestly from the bottom of my heart not want to leave this fucked up horrible beautiful tragic world behind. 

I know there's always going to be a part of me that expects me to commit. it's always been easier for me to hurt myself than help myself. I've written a lot of suicide notes throughout my life. This is the first time I've ever done the opposite, I guess? This is supposed to be my promise to me that I want to live. I need to. Its really hard to admit that to myself. I'm pretty sure I can do it tho.

I think (and almost hope) that the handful of you who follow this stupid little blog wont read this, but I posted it here because theres too many people everywhere else. It's directed at myself anyway.

a distant yell into a cacophonous void, in hopes that typing it will act as a metaphysical vehicle for manifesting it in the collective subconscious:

TRANS PEOPLE DONT KILL YOURSELF!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[your-internet-parental-unit]

So I hyperfixated on the Octonauts a few days ago, leading to me coming up with a bunch of theories/headcanons. These have only persisted and my obsession with Octonauts has stayed strong so allow me to give y'all some Kwazii headcanons/theories along with my Kwazii designs(theres two versions).

If you don't like it, too bad. This is MY BLOG and I will post WHAT I WANT./lh/j

Ok so Kwazii headcanons/theories! Note that these take into account stuff that happened in Ring of Fire, and that I haven't watched every single episode of both series(the original Octonauts and Octonauts: Above and Beyond) because my stupid siblings were bullying me for watching it >:( Anywho heres the headcanons/theories

Kwazii is trans because fuq you also like probably canon according to everything I see

Kwazii has some of Calico Jacks, his grandfather, features that no one else in his family really has. Those features are the eyes, nose marking, and left leg marking(this is based on the design above). The colors vary but everyone compares him to his granddad.

Kwazii has ADHD no I don't take criticism I have ADHD therefore he does as well.

Kwazii has abandonment issues and can be rather clingy when he isn't putting on a brave face

Besides Captain Barnacles, Tweak was the first member of the Octonauts that Kwazii befriended. They play video games every night and his gold tooth is a cap that Tweak made him. His fang is chipped underneath it

Speaking of which, Kwazii is a night owl. He's always up til like two in the morning, probably getting zoomies

I think Kwazii spent most of his childhood alone. The only family he ever mentions is his grandfather, and his grandfather left when he was a little kitten(as said in the Amazon Adventure episode)

Pan boy poly boy hes dating Shellington and Peso screw y'all

He loves to cook and bake, and he can be seen helping the Vegimals in the kitchen

No one knows why he's so good with kids, considering that as far as anyone knows he's an only child and didn't have other kids in his family(or at least, if he did he never mentioned them) but most children naturally flock to him and he gets real freaking attached to kids when he interacts with them(examples being the baby dolphin episode, Peso's little brother, the baby crocodile, theres probably more but these are the ones off the top of my head)

He looks up to Captain Barnacles alot and often can be seen mimicking his mannerisms

He loves the sea monster stories because they brought him alot of comfort as a child, and made him feel closer to his grandfather. He doesn't always believe them but he wishes they were true

Kwazii has very little concern for his own safety. He would gladly put his life on the line for, anyone really, and is shown to overcome his arachnophobia just so he could help a beetle that was actively being...hostile ig? just a few minutes prior. He doesn't care what happens to him, he only really worries about others

Hes lost some feeling in his tail and his tail healed with a bend in it

Kwazii has had many scars over the years but the one on his ear is interesting because he won't tell anyone how he got it, when he usually tells big extravagant stories for how he got his scars

He makes a habit of remembering everything thats said to him, making sure he can use it in the future(example being when Shellington talked about symbiotic relationships between the crab and the urchin i think? Maybe it was a sea sponge but whatever, and Kwazii brought up that fact in Above and Beyond)

I think he dwells over his mistakes alot. I also think he has nightmares of past incidents, recently being the events of Ring of Fire, and is a fairly light sleeper, so he wakes up to most sudden noises.

I think Kwazii is actually afraid of stuff sometimes(not for his safety reasons but like what it could be) and he pretends to be fearless to be like Captain Barnacles, who seems fearless to everyone around him.

Dashi helped him write a book featuring all the tales of his grandfather

He was always searching for stuff about his grandfather to feel closer to the man he only faintly remembers

I think he joined the Octonauts a bit younger than the others

Most of his possessions he found after joining the Octonauts, and his eyepatch was one of his only possessions he had before joining. Calico Jack gave it to him before joining

Kwazii can't tie a tie

Kwazii developed his arachnophobia as a young kitten, but after Calico Jack left. Its one of the only things he actively shows fearing because hes just that spooked by them.

Kwazii still can't surf

While he will admit to not being good at stuff, he feels the need to be good at everything

Kwazii sings sea shantys to the Vegimals

He has some shark friends who he actively races and they just hang out, usually when he should be sleeping

I think he has a slight fear of fire from what happened in Ring of Fire. And hes way too overly attached to the Gup-B, probably because its gotten him out of alot of life threatening situations(that he wasn't even aware were life threatening because he didn't really care)

Ok thats all if I keep thinking this post will be so long it will count as a novel. Once I draw the others I'll do headcanons and theories for them too! If y'all have suggestions/requests for who I should do next I'll gladly take those too! Also which design do you like better? I like the first one alot but I feel the second looks closer to the source material lol, also should've added eye bags but oh well-

[captaincoffeegirl515]

I'm overthinking again but fuck it I'm freaking out again because I noticed something about the previews and trailers!

It's that in all of these different scenes, Jang Uk is wearing the exact same outfit.

In the preview for ep 5 we see him wearing that light grey hanbok with flowy black outer robes when Bu-yeon does their one-of-a-kind ring and it looks like Jang Uk is realizing something. He recognizes what she's doing! She keeps doing things that reming him of Cho Yeong and it can't keep being a coincidence. It can't be that she's just that good of a priestess. Like hello the last "Bu-yeon" Jin Ho-gyeong brought was a fake. Something is up.

We also see him wearing it when he was talking to Master Lee saying the line that Jang Uk took what Jin Ho-gyeong tried so hard to hide. And Jang Uk's face as he's walking away looks kinda foreboding too.

And then! I remembered in one of the trailers that he's also wearing those robes when he stormed Cheonbugwan and raised his sword at the Crown Prince.

I'm worried because I feel like it's all connected 😭. I think Jang Uk is starting to suspect that Bu-yeon is really Cho Yeong/Naksu. Then Master Lee spills the beans about what happened.

Naturally, I'm fucking worried for my fave lol and I don't want him to die. The only thing that's calming me at least is that there have been other pictures posted with him in other places like in the big Cheonbugwan fight and inside its secret room.

Which means Go Won lives after Jang Uk threatens him. Either Jang Uk drops his sword or he just injures him.

There's also that last picture where it's Jang Uk and Go Won facing each other inside Go Won's room (or at least, I think it's his room. The windows/curtains look similar to other scenes that were held in his room.) which we haven't seen yet in the 4 eps that have aired.

So we get the part where Jang Uk storms Cheonbugwan. He is going to kill Jin Mu and he will mow down anyone who tries to stop him. And Jang Uk and Go Won face down on that big center platform where Jang Uk once announced that he and Bu-yeon were married.

I think the other clothes are a hint too. Like with the Crown Prince I've noticed that when he's inside the palace, he only wears a specific outer robes that is only worn by a Crown Prince (just like I've seen in other K-dramas). The dark blue one with gold circular symbols on them.

And in this picture with the team inside the Cheonbugwan secret room, he had something else on. It's a more vibrant blue with no gold designs. It could be like those robes that he wears when he goes out of the palace. Like is that a clue? Does it mean Go Won didn't come to the secret room from the palace for that big fight? Am I overthinking again? Yes, unfortunately.

He's also wearing the same thing in the pic the actress playing Jin Ho-gyeong posted with him and Dang-gu. It's the same for the rest of them. You can even see Sang-ho fighting next to Yul with the Cheonbugwan banners overhead. And I noticed someone with Jin Ho-gyeong's robes at the bottom middle of the screen, behing some Cheonbugwan guards, that's facing them.

I think these pics are from a big climatic near the end of the series and it's gonna be between Jin Mu/Cheonbugwan and Jin Ho-gyeong vs Jang Uk, Yul, and Songrim. Idk which side the Crown Prince is gonna be in but I'm desperately hoping he'll see the light and be on Jang Uk's side.