#i highly highly HIGHLY recommend looking at the song i got these lyrics from

[lowhowl]

The winds of repression, Escaping your lungs- Built from the fallacies of trying to pretend.

So where's the compassion, You promised yourself- When you endured a hell, that never seemed to end?

Keep walking...

Whisper the Wolf, written by Spiders. [ RULES | ABOUT ]

[venusgirltarot]

What Would An Album About You Sound Like?

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, envision the person you are thinking of and then choose the pile(s) you feel most drawn to.

Pile One

Ahhh okay this is so cute. Im going to try to explain this as best as I can, Pile 1. So this seems like a concept album. The idea of the album (not the sound but idea ya know) reminds me of “Melodrama” by Lorde. I’ll leave a quote here for a better description but it’s like a concept album about a single night

“Melodrama is described as a loose concept album that explores the theme of solitude, in the framework of a single house party with the events and moods that entail it”

The album about you is similar in the sense that it’s a “loose concept album” but it’s about the writer seeing you. It’s like you’re at this party that the songwriter is also at and they’re obsessed from the moment they lay eyes on you. You’re like this beautiful unobtainable being to them and they want to get to know you so bad but they just can’t seem to talk to you. This could also progress to a one night stand that never progresses to more because of a lack of communication to this album is going through the writer meeting you and watching you throughout the night and then goes into their regrets and what they wish they would have said to you the next day, if that makes sense.

They see you at a party and think you’re so beautiful but can’t seem to find the words to tell you that. I keep hearing “I like the way my bedsheets look on your body” from “hello!” By role model. (I believe that’s the right song but lmk if it’s wrong so I can fix it!) and I keep being reminded of this musician on TikTok “Chappell Roan” and their song “Red Wine Supernova” I think that’s similar to what this album would sound like and it also fits the aesthetic. I highly recommend you listen to this song because it fits your album so perfectly. I tried to find a lyric that resonates the best to include but they all work so well that I couldn’t choose.

Despite this entire album being about only you and just one night leading into the next morning, it’s still so diverse (I hope that makes sense) like you’d think there’s only so many songs you could write about a 12ish hour time frame and one person but this writer has endless things to say about you and the night you met them. I could see one song having a feature and it’s later in the album somewhere between tracks 7-12 or so. The aesthetic of the album is very neon lights, the dance floor on prom night after everything has died down and people are starting to go home, slow, melodramatic and just really pretty. Again, I highly recommend you check out “Red Wine Supernova” because it fits so well.

Track list:

1. Pretty

2. Blooming

3. missing you

4. Shinning Eyes

5. Dying Slow

6. Party Streamers

7. Old Fashioned (Feat. Another Artist)

8. Starlight

9. Nova’s Surprise

10. Sunset

11. morning after

12. You

Pile Two

Pile two, your album sounds like one written by Hozier, Noah Kahan or The Lumineers. It reminds me a lot of “Angela” by The Lumineers. Specifically the lyric “Angela, spent your whole life running away” and “vacancy, hotel room, lost in me, lost in you” it also reminds me of Ethel Cain in the sense that it’s a concept album about running away and starting a new life (but not as dark as ethel’s and with a much better outcome than she got. I heard “success story” it’s about leaving behind a difficult past and moving forward. There’s hope for the future in these songs, remembrance of the past and healing trauma. It’s a beautiful album with a good balance of different emotions. I could see this album coming with a short film or a series of music videos that piece together to tell a store. Similar to “III” by the Lumineers.

I keep hearing a few snippets from the deluxe version of “Stick Season” (that will be out June 9th 👀) like “Medicate meditate swear your soul to Jesus / Throw a punch fall in love give yourself a reason” or “we ain’t angry at you love, you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost” it’s such a beautiful album with so much soul and emotion.

I could see this album getting an acoustic live version that artists do sometimes like “Album, live from Wherever” you know? This album has very unique and catchy lyrics that stick with people, the type of lyrics people take and sell on things in their Etsy shop or use as a quote in their yearbook or put in their instagram bio. It almost feels like poetry. I also heard “escapism” this is the type of music that paints a picture and takes you somewhere else. This album will kind of chronologically tell a story about you moving forward and healing from trauma and finding a peaceful ending. Ending with a song like “Angelia”

Track list

1. movement

2. Adelaide’s Interlude

3. mother

4. farmhouse

5. leave me behind

6. baby blue

7. mustang

8. you’re gonna go far

9. more than this

10. peace

11. at your own pace

12. growing pains

13. at last

Pile Three

I feel like this album has a soft rock sort of sound? Like hozier with a rockier edge if that makes sense? It reminds me of the way hozier sings about love. He sings about a very deep and impactful love and his writing his like poetry and I think that’s what an album about you would sound like. I think this album could be about the writer/musician fighting feelings for you because they’re focused on career or are just concerned about the outcome of the relationship. They might have a fear of falling or something.

However, the last card I pulled was the 10 of cups so the outcome is very good. I feel like this album is coming from a reflective place like this is after yourself and your spouse have settled down and had kids or pets or whatever you would like and your partner is looking back at your relationship from the very beginning up until now and writing about it.

I keep hearing “I’m in love with an emo girl” I don’t think this is what the album will sound like but maybe that’s your aesthetic/vibe? This might just be conformation for you. I also keep hearing that Shania Twain song “you’re still the one” this is the kind of album that fans would dissect like narrow down the time you met your person and talk about every lyric and how that lyric relates to you and your relationship etc. this album talks about how devoted and in love with you your person is but also talks about the (I heard “trials and tribulations”) it took for you two to get there so it may include religious reference. Like religion by Lana Del Rey or Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift where there’s this slight aspect of religion/devotion to your partner.

You hear a lot about how you have to actively choose your partner everyday to make a long term relationship work and this album would definitely delve into that a little. It could also be produced by you and your partner’s mutual friends or people who have been there since the beginning or very early in in your relationship. I think this would be a longer album and there’s definitely 18+ songs on there 👀

Track list

1. October

2. Cosmic

3. Full Moon

4. Bourbon Street

5. She’s All Over Me

6. Starla

7. The Empress

8. Diamond Eyes

9. Find More of Me

10. Dreamscape

11. Escapades

12. Midnight

13. You’re All I Need

14. Mirror

15. Apartment 32

16. Deep End

17. Eternity

[dotaeisms]

𝙨𝙠𝙯 𝙖𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 ☆ (𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘯𝘢𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦) ☆

song recommendation: ‘my universe’ (seungmin & i.n) (feat. changbin) ♪

an; omg! thank you all so much for the support on the hyung line ones !! now, prepare for the cutie maknae line <3

📂; bolds are a summary, use of pet names (sprout, sugar, puppy, peach), use of the word dada (x1), a bit of crack in seungmins, pure fluff other than that, barking at people T-T, thats all i can think of. 

𝙟𝙞𝙣𝙞 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜

< 🐿️ > HAN;

CHAOS DAD

definitely makes pillow forts and has pillow fights.

‘good night sprout, i love you so much!’ 

movie night sundays :(

sits the kid on his lap and cradles them, all while watching a silly cartoon movie that both of them enjoy, probably the lego movie or something.

his child would be the brightest light of his life, enough said

constantly talks about them, nothing but praise, just thinks they are perfect in all ways.

writes every single song about them, just finds one thing to compare in every lyric.

lullaby king.

sings them to sleep every night, and will stay at their side until they fall asleep.

he always, ALWAYS, tries to see himself in the kiddo, whether it be through looks or personality, it finds comfort knowing he put effort into raising a fragile human life. 

< 🐥 > FELIX;

thinking about this makes me SO SAD.

baking cookies together :(

‘you alright sugar? good, make sure you don’t spill the milk ok? be careful.’

his mini assistant in pouring, measuring and every step in the process.

if his child had freckles, he would make sure to count them, making a note of each one as they fall asleep in his arms.

if felix is sunshine, his child is a brighter ray of sunshine.

always speaks highly of his child, nothing but endless praise, as he loves them for who they are nonetheless, and it can turn into rambles, but that’s just how much he loves them.

GIRL SCOUT DAD (if he had a daughter).

the best field trip chaperone ever, gets immersed in the experience and makes it all the better.

plays video games with the kiddo in his lap, teaching them the controls and holding their hands to play with the controller. 

<🐶> SEUNGMIN;

the type of dad to affectionally call his kid, ‘dog’ or ‘puppy.’

‘aw yeah, i think this puppy here is ready for their nap.’

loves to play with the kids toys, like make the whole experience better for them.

‘playing pretend’ >>>> especially with seungmin.

similar to felix in the sense of a girl scout dad.

goes adventuring outside in the backyard, playing in the plants and whatnot.

after they get inside, bath-time! the lord of giving bubble baths. 

teaches his kiddo to bark at people, at first it was a joke until it got out of hand. 

‘see uncle jisung? yeah, bark at him.’ T-T

his kid would always try and run and hide from him, as if they were always playing, which makes them a handful in public spaces. 

but he plays it cool, the hide and seek king he is.

<🦊> JEONGIN;

HE’S SO CUTE AND TINY AUHFDBID

he randomly buys things because, ‘oh, this looks like them!’ and it’s literally like a plushie.

most caring dad ever.

king of playdates, he has a whole color coordinated calendar of events dedicated to his kiddo, along with sticky notes of drawings they made.

scent king, he wants his baby to smell good. 

fresh baby, lavender lotion, or the really good smelling lotion.

this whole scenario makes me have butterflies in my tummy :(

TUMMY KISSES 

he holds them up and just tickles them with silly little kisses to their tummy, and laughs along with them.

and then they fall asleep together, the sweet smells wafting together as they doze off. 

‘goodnight my peach, dada loves you.’

[goddessofmischief]

      SAY DON'T GO (YOUNG BUGGY X READER)

A/N: This is part of this series, which requests are open for! These fics are all one-shots, so they can be read separately. Also, I highly recommend listening to the song linked in the title while you read. (Especially with this one. It really, really fits it. Maybe even read the lyrics. It's really Buggy's POV in this fic.)

The first nights alone on the Oro Jackson were quiet.

You weren't alone, not really. You had Buggy and Shanks with you, after all, but it was strange hearing the place you grew up be silent for the very first time. The soft snores of your friends were nothing compared to the riotous laughter you had fallen asleep to every night for the past decade.

You were all orphans now.

"Shanks," you whispered, tapping him on the arm. You didn't dare wake up Buggy.

"Hm?" he hummed sleepily.

"Can't sleep."

"Me neither," he said, despite the fact that he was very obviously asleep mere moments ago.

Things felt different. Different than days before. You didn't feel like the woman who had been abandoned by - then reconciled with - Dracule Mihawk, or the woman who had stood and witnessed Roger's execution only one day earlier. You felt like a girl again, now that it was just you and Shanks and Buggy. Just the three of you, against the world, a world that did not seem quite so dim and empty as it had been these past few months.

And so you and Shanks (and Buggy, once he woke up to the commotion) "can't sleep"-ed together, laughing and talking and acting like everything would be fine, like you were a proper crew, like you were all you needed, like you and Shanks had never shared that poisoned kiss.

...

The mornings after that were not quite as bright.

It turned out that if you wanted to be a pirate crew, a real pirate crew, you needed some things. Other crew mates - those would come later, Shanks reasoned - and supplies, plenty of them. So you docked the ship at a nearby port, far from Marine influence, and began shopping.

"You know, I've been thinking," said Shanks, taking a bite out of an apple, "Maybe we should change our flag - our Jolly Roger?"

"Roger's flag? No way."

"C'mon, think about it. It's our ship now."

"Who would we even change it to? I mean, I wouldn't mind letting you be captain - in name only - but Buggy won't like it."

"Buggy will get used to it."

"What, and he'll be first mate? Who am I, then?"

"I don't know, I'm sure we'll come up with something-"

You smacked his arm.

"You're such a jerk."

"Such a jerk, 'Captain.'"

...

Buggy had dreamt of you last night.

How things were different now, maybe, for the first time. How maybe things could really change.

Mihawk had abandoned you (bummer) and you and Shanks seemed to have a strange distance between you since the wedding that Buggy couldn't understand. You would need someone, he was sure of it, and he would be there.

"Hey, guys," Buggy called out, carrying a bag of groceries in one hand and climbing aboard the Oro Jackson. A single daisy was concealed in his pocket. "Got everything?"

"Yeah, um," you said, and you couldn't look at Buggy.

"...What? What's going on?"

You looked up at Shanks, pleadingly.

"Don't make me say it."

"He'll take it better from you," said Shanks, and Buggy detected a hint of a smirk on his face. Weariness, too.

"Shanks wants to be captain," you mumbled, staring at the deck.

Buggy laughed.

"Kidding, right? You're... kidding." He saw the look on your face. "You're not kidding. Well, you told him, no, right? You told him no."

"She agreed to it," Shanks said. "She didn't mind. But she wasn't sure how you would take it."

"Why would you agree to that?" Buggy shouted, louder than he meant to, and you flinched. "Look at me. Why would you-"

"I'm sorry," you whispered, a tear rolling down your cheek. "I thought it was the right thing."

"Why isn't it me, huh? Why not me? What's the difference? There's nothing Shanks has done that I couldn't do."

"I trust him," you confessed. "I trust him to lead-"

"Yeah? Why not me?"

"Buggy-"

"Answer the question," Buggy snapped. "Why not me?"

"That's enough," said Shanks. "That's enough."

Shanks, he noticed, had put his arm around your shoulders protectively - as if you needed to be protected. As if you needed to be protected, from him.

"I'm leaving," Buggy said, and turned to grab his things.

He really meant it, too - he meant it, as he went downstairs and collected his clothes and weapons and souvenirs of the life he'd been living for the past twenty years. He almost grabbed a sweater of his you often liked to borrow, but left it.

He'd been so stupid to believe that anything could change. That he'd finally be like Shanks, an equal. He would never be as good as Shanks. He would always be second in your heart to him - third, depending on what your opinion of Mihawk was at the time.

Somehow, he'd always known.

It didn't matter if this crew, this boat, was the best chance he had at getting the One Piece. He would get it anyway, and when he did, he was going to have a good laugh at the look on you and Shanks' faces. But then again, you probably didn't care if you died peasants, as long as you had each other, and you'd probably be thrilled to be rid of him-

"...Buggy?"

He heard a creak and turned to see you holding the sweater.

"You forgot something," you said quietly, holding it out to him. Buggy shook his head.

"It's worn out. It's all... stretched, and you got stains on it, and there's too many holes. It's beyond repair."

All lies. You were particularly careful with this sweater, because it wasn't just your favorite - you knew it was Buggy's favorite, too.

You frowned, staring down at it and searching for a tear.

"You can throw it out, for all I care," and Buggy slammed the lid of his suitcase down.

"It's really warm," you said, "...And I don't want to."

You pulled it over your head, sleeves hanging far past where your arms could stretch. Buggy watched you, unable to look away.

He had forgotten how cute you could be when you weren't stabbing him in the back.

"Why'd you come down?" he asked, fixing a resentful expression on his face. "Figured you'd be celebrating with Shanks right now."

"I'm not gonna let you leave, Bug. You really are crazy if you thought I would."

"What's the point in me staying? You as good as said it back there, there's nothing I do that Shanks doesn't do better-"

"And how do you think I feel?" you snapped. "You think it felt good, watching him be stronger my whole life? Knowing that no matter what I did, Roger was never gonna respect me more than him? Did you even think about the fact that when I let Shanks be captain, I took it away from myself, too?"

Truthfully, Buggy had never thought to consider it.

"Do you know why I put up with it?"

"Tell me."

"Because he goddamn deserves it," you stated. "He deserves every bit of respect he gets. He's nearly the best swordsman because he trained to be, he's a fighter because he fought to be, and he's never once faltered when I needed him. He's a leader, and that's not who we are. So you can walk away from me and him and the One Piece, and be a big baby, but there's a reason why I chose him over myself. Do you not think I'm capable, Buggy? Do you not think I'm good enough?"

"You're good enough."

"I know I am. But you didn't see me throwing a fit on the deck. Making him captain doesn't mean that I think Shanks is better than you, because I don't think he's better than me, either. We all have jobs."

"Yeah? What's yours?"

"Doctor," you said. "And sniper, and cook, for now."

"And what about me?" Buggy asked, leaning against the wall and fixing his gaze on you. "If I stayed, what would you have me do?"

"I'd let you be first mate. And shipwright. And blacksmith. You're talented with making things."

"I didn't think you'd noticed."

"Of course I have," you said. "I'm wearing something you made right now."

It's true, you were. Buggy had gotten into knitting a long time ago, during lazy days on the Oro Jackson in his youth, and had decided to make a sweater for you after seeing how cold you got. He'd lost his nerve in the middle of the project and begun making it in his size instead of yours after fearing you wouldn't want it, but it ended up in your hands anyway.

You approached Buggy, tentatively, the long sleeves of the sweater draping off your wrists. He eyed you as you stared up at him, pleadingly, and then threw your arms around him as if you trap him, and could make him stay there forever.

"Please stay," you whispered, voice muffled by his shoulder.

Buggy smirked, holding you.

"I didn't think you would beg, doll."

"...Only for you."

Maybe he would stay a little longer.

taglist: @sawendel @twinklesnake @literaturewithliz @sordidmusings @foggyturtleknightangel @toertchen @96jnie @lunanight1021 @trafalgardvivi

[matthewkniesys]

full machine - nico hischier

summary: it was a one night stand. it shouldn't have turned into anything else. but then it became a second night and then a third and eventually it became feelings. but nico couldn't ever have the same feelings right?

a/n: this doesn't fully match with the lyrics cause i wanted to make a happy ending but yeah. all the lyrics are in bold. this is based off the song full machine by gracie abrams, which i highly recommend listening to. this is the third fic in the good riddance fic series. you don't have to read the other fics before this one. i hope you like it.

pairing: nico hischier x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ themes no actual smut though, swearing, drinking, reader making poor decisions and angst with a happy ending

good riddance fic series

Nico wasn’t one for committed relationships. You didn’t think you were either. You just got out of a shitty relationship and you just wanted to have fun. But he was Nico Hischier and you were supposed to just pretend he didn’t make your heartbeat a million miles a minute? 

 You and Nico hooked up one night at a bar in New Jersey thinking that was all it was gonna be. A one night stand. Emphasis on one night. You knew who he was but you didn’t care. You were just trying to get over a shitty ex and he was trying to get over the devils being knocked out in the second round. It was a match made in heaven and it led to really good sex. You two spent the night together and then said goodbye, not expecting to see each other ever again. Obviously that didn’t happen.

I’m a rollercoaster

You’re a dead end street

You loved going out with friends on a Friday night. It was the best. You kinda hit pause on doing that while you were with your ex but since he’s out of the picture Friday night is back to being yours. 

Last Friday, you were really reminded why you love going out so much. The partying, the dancing, the guys. Last week's guy was especially special. And honestly you’ve thought a lot about him since. Which usually doesn’t happen. You leave in the morning and then don’t really dwell on what you did the last night with the mystery guy of the week. But last week's guy wasn’t just anyone. It was Nico Hischier. Captain of the New Jersey Devils.

But whatever. You’re thinking of all this while getting ready to go out this Friday. It doesn’t matter though because tonight it’s just gonna be another guy. You know this isn’t the most healthy way to get over a guy. Partying, drinking and hooking up with a stranger every week but it’s fun. And it helps you forget the shit that your ex put you through.

You and your 3 friends walk into the bar, later that night and head straight to get drinks. While you wait for them you sit at the bar and scope out the room. Your eyes roam over the dance floor and the booths where people are sitting. 

Your friend taps your shoulder. You look at her and your eyes follow in the direction her head is nodding. A little gasp falls from your lips when your eyes meet their mark. 

“Hey Y/n, isn’t that the guy you hooked up with last week?” Your friend yells over the music.

You blink once, twice not believing your eyes, but yeah sure enough standing there in the flesh is Nico Hischier. And you aren’t even at the same place as last week.

“Um, yeah. It is.”

“You should totally go say hi. Maybe you can have a repeat of last week.” You shouldn’t listen to your friends. The worst possible choice to make is to go over there. You already thought about Nico too much this week. If you spend another night with him you could end up with these complicated feelings that you didn’t want to deal with. He was a dead end street. He would lead to nothing, nothing at all. He didn’t commit to relationships he told you so much last week. Why would he change that for you? 

But nonetheless you got up and walked right over to him.

But won’t you stay for a while?

I wish that you’d never leave

You tap him on the shoulder and he turns and looks at you. No recognition sparks in his eyes. That makes you nervous. But at the same time why should he remember you? You fucked last Friday and that was it. He’s probably taken many other girls to his bed in just the last week since you had seen him. They were on the road for a five day stretch.

“Um hey?” Nico says, more as a question than a statement.”Should I know you? Sorry I’m just really bad with names and faces. Do you want me to sign something for you?”

You feel tears sting the back of your eyes. You shouldn’t be feeling like this. He was a one night stand, that’s it. Maybe you just need to get him out of your system. Spend one more night together.

“No, I'm not. We spent last Friday night together, remember?”

He thinks for a moment. “Actually, I do remember. Here let me get you a drink, we’ll see where the night goes.” Nico winks at you, grabbing your hand and leading you to the bar.

The night spirals from there. You end up back at your place and the rest is history. When you wake up the next morning to a heavy arm draped across your stomach you automatically think how you want to wake up like this, with Nico everyday. And that’s when you know you’re fucked. Absolutely, no going back fucked. And that scares the shit out of you.

Realizing you want an anti-relationship, only does one night stands kinda guy is terrifying. You want him to stay. To not get up and leave before you even have breakfast. To not leave ever.

But then ten minutes later Nico wakes up. He’s hastily picking up his clothes off your floor and throwing them on. As he’s about to walk out the door he turns and looks at you. Really studies your face.

Then he says, “Could I maybe grab your number? Maybe we could do this again sometime.”

And after hearing that your heart soars.

I know I know better

You're no guarantee

That joy is short-lived. And you knew better than to get your hopes up. There’s no guarantee Nico was ever actually gonna use your number, but you really couldn’t help it. 

You didn’t hear from Nico for the next week. You chalked it up to him being on a road trip. A road trip that went horribly. They played five games and lost five games.

Late on the following Monday night you got a text from Nico saying, hey just got back from the road trip, can I come over? I need to let off some steam.

And even though you know better and you know that this is a bad idea, you say yes.

And for the next few weeks, you and Nico fall into some kind of routine. He texts you, asking to come over and you say yes. You fuck and sometimes he stays to eat or watch a movie and sometimes he goes straight home. And those times hurt. When he comes over and then leaves directly once you’re done having sex. It feels like he’s just using you but still everytime he asks you say yes.

But if you asked me to run away

I’d go easily

It’s always him who asks to see you and it’s always on his time. You know it’s not right but what can you do? It feels like you need to see him almost as much as you need to breathe air. At this point you feel like you would do anything he asks. He could ask you to drop everything and run away and you’d go easily.

I almost lost it

I’ll heal eventually

On and off, never knowing what to expect, hooking up with Nico begins to take a toll on you. He would call you, come over almost daily for a week and build you up. Then he’d be MIA for the next 2 weeks and you’d completely fall apart. 

It was a constant emotional roller coaster and it was getting to a point where you couldn’t do it anymore. But at the same time you needed it. He’d build you up so high and then just let you fall right off the cliff he put you on and then he’d bring you right back up. It was such a toxic cycle but one you just couldn’t break. Because when he made you feel good and happy you were so happy but when he made you sad it felt like your whole heart was shattering. You’re teetering dangerously close to the edge. So close that you could lose it at any moment. You’re hurting really badly.

That being said, you know that even though you’re struggling right now, you’re gonna be okay. You firmly believe that you’ll get better, whether or not it’s with Nico. 

But faster if you’re next to me

Next to me

You really hope it is. You really, really hope it’s Nico next to you. You’ll heal faster. If only he could just love you unconditionally. You would love him back as much as you possibly could. You already do. You give and give and give so much to him and he takes and takes and takes from you. 

I'm codependent

But trying hard not to be

I'm better when you're next to me

You know you get attached really easily. When you find someone you genuinely love, you grab on and don’t let go. And with Nico you really did try hard not to get too attached. Too bad it didn’t work. 

Nico makes you your best self. You’re better when he’s there. You feel the happiest and most confident when you’re around him. You always want him to be around.

I’m a shameless caller

You’re a full machine

But won’t you answer tonight

And say something nice to me

And then Nico doesn’t call for 2 weeks. You can’t even blame it on a road trip since they were on a homestand that whole time. You don’t know what to do. You’ve never been the first one to call and that makes you anxious, but then again this whole situation is making you anxious. You think on it for a moment then you pick up the phone.

It rings and rings and rings. No answer. The beep sounds to leave a message and you start speaking.

“Um hey Nico, it’s Y/n. I just wanted to say hi. We haven’t seen each other in a little while and I was just wondering how you’re doing? Yeah, uh I guess that’s it. Call me back if you have the chance.”

And from there it doesn’t stop. Weeks still go by and you can’t stop calling. Over and over again. Call after call, but one thing stays the same. Nico never answers and he never calls you back after any of your messages.

Every time you call you hope for a different outcome. For him to answer, for him to say something sweet to you like he used to. You need the validation that he used to give you. All you want is for him to pick up and just say something nice to you.

And you don’t have to mean it

You can lie to me

But if you asked me to run away

I’d go easily

It’s been a month of not hearing from Nico. And it’s been hard. You miss him and your heart aches. You want him to come back to you. Why can’t he just answer the phone? Even if he wants to cut it off, why can’t he just tell you straight up? Why can’t he give you the closure you deserve?

He’s putting you through a world of hurt right now. You feel so low and you’re constantly tired. The way he treats you is so toxic but still you can’t help but love him. He could ask anything of you and you would probably do it.

Even after all this time and all this time and hurt you’d still run away with him in a heartbeat.

But do you think we could talk?

‘Cause I’ve been trying to tell you

How you’re the one that I turn to

This past few months Nico’s put you through too much shit. And now you’re kinda over it. Even if Nico never had the same feelings as you, you deserve to know why one day he suddenly just stopped calling. And if you’re never gonna see him again you want to tell him your real feelings for him. Though he’s probably been able to guess from your nonstop calling.

You sit in your parked car outside Nico’s house for a good half an hour before getting out. You’re nervous. This might be the last time you get to see Nico. And though you wish you were over him you aren’t. And you probably won’t be for a while. You might as well get it over with. You get out of your car and make your way up to Nico’s apartment. 

You pause outside his door. Are you really doing this? Is no closure maybe better? No it’s not, you reassure yourself. You have to do this so you can start healing and letting go.

You knock once, and then wait. Suddenly the door opens in your face. You're greeted by Nico. He looks at you with an expression of sadness laced with what might be longing on his face. But that doesn’t make sense. He hates you. Doesn’t he?

“Nico, you’ve been avoiding my calls but we need to talk now. You can’t just leave me in the dark. If you wanted to break things off you could’ve told me, called me, sent a fucking text. It’s not that hard. I fell for you and I love you and it felt like you abandoned me. I understand that you don’t reciprocate my feelings but the way you left wasn’t okay. I just-,”

Nico cuts you off, “Y/n, that’s the exact problem. The problem is that I do reciprocate your feelings. I fucking love you and I’m so scared. I hate relationships. I’ve been hurt one too many times. I didn’t know what to do.” Nico runs a hand over his face and lets out a long sigh.

“I’ve never met anyone like you and when I started feeling more than attraction towards you, I ran. I thought if I distanced myself I could forget about you but I could never. You are the most memorable person to ever enter my life, y/n. You’re so bright and colorful and everyone loves you. I know the way I acted was wrong and how I chose to pursue this was bad but I’m ready to try. You know why? Because I’m never gonna find someone else like you. Every night I stayed up waiting to hear my phone ring with your caller id. I was so scared that at night you were gonna just forget about me and stop calling. And if you think for one second that it was easy to not pick up every single one of your calls you’d be so wrong. I love you, y/n. And I know I have a lot to work on and I know the way I treated you wasn’t okay but please, can we work on it together? I want you to be by my side. I want to try with you. For you.”

Tears prick your eyes and threaten to spill. No one has ever said anything like that to you before. 

You look Nico in the eye, “Okay.”

“Okay what? Y/n, please say yes. I need you.”

“Okay, I’ll try with you. I’m not perfect either but we can work on our shit together. And yeah, you fucked me over but now I know you were hurting too. This whole time, all of those calls, I’ve been trying to tell you how you’re the one that I turn to.”

thanks for reading🫶

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues @corneliaskates

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[namig42]

Was chatting with my lovely mutual @mortalasystem about my Wyllstarion fic Just One Yesterday and some of the inspo that got me started on it, and I thought why not share those things with people who might be looking for good recs? With that, here are some of the biggest inspirations for my super involved story!

Friday Nights by @sadinasaphrite

So the first and probably most prominent inspiration for a modern au is this wonderful Bloodweave fic called Friday Nights over on ao3. I really loved the chemistry between Gale and Astarion in this one, and Gale's perspective was very interesting, especially with the mix of magic still in this au. Wonderfully written, very considerate of Astarion's circumstances as a sex worker, and a happy ending to wrap it all up nicely!

Read it on Ao3

Sex worker/Charity worker Halstarion AU by @malacandrax

This comic has nine parts as of now that are all little snippets of Halsin being a concerned social worker and Astarion as a sex worker in a 70s/80s UK setting. OP really took a lot of consideration writing this one and portraying realistic steps that someone in Astarion's situation could take, and I love how they really captured both characters so well. The progression between the Astarion and Halsin is really nicely done, even in such small snippets. 11/10, definitely recommend.

Link to Part 1 here

Perfect Slaughter by @imagineitdearies

This is a Tavstarion fic that honestly captivated me so much from beginning to end. It's a long form fic that is incredibly compelling and is an alternate au prequel to the events of BG3. Tyrus, the protagonist, is a very compelling original character, and his relationship with Astarion in the hell that is Cazador's palace was so well crafted. This was the story that had me wanting to explore more relationships with Astarion in my own writing, focus on dark topics and give them the respect they deserve such as trauma, abuse, and torture, and try my own hand at writing something long form. It's gotten a great deal of praise, all of which is well deserved, and I cannot recommend it enough.

Read it on Ao3

The funny thing about my Wyllstarion thing was that there was actually very little Wyllstarion inspiration. I saw some good art here and there on tumblr, but not very much at the time. My dash was mostly bloodweave if anything. Still, there was just enough of an inkling in my head of Wyll and Astarion, and then a dumbass idea came to me one day.

I wrote it in the first chapter's notes on Ao3, but the thing that kicked this multi chapter obsession into gear was...

Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy

A song off a ten year old album. That's what did it. Specifically the lyrics:

Anything you say can and will be held against you,

So only say my name. It will be held against you.

Those two lines had my brain swimming with a one-shot smut fic of a police officer Wyll and a sex worker Astarion, but a one shot wasn't enough for the romantic that is Wyll. I couldn't write him having a first meeting kind of fling. I wrote out the original one shot idea, let it sit for a couple months, and then suddenly, something clicked in my brain and the whole thing took off from there.

Still, without this lyric, the story wouldn't exist at all. Honestly, going back and listening to the whole song after everything I've written so far, I think it's a fitting title and song in its own way. Highly recommend giving it a listen if you aren't familiar!

---

That's all the big ones. If other things come to mind that I missed, I'll reblog this and add onto it. In the meantime, I highly recommend checking these things out and showing the artists some love! Thanks for taking the time to read, and I hope you found something new to enjoy!

[wynder-struck]

What soft love songs the Fellowship dedicate to you (and why) <3

In the mood to make myself cry, plus I’m in my ‘i was i wasn’t lonely’ phase of the night.

Pulled most of these from my notes app lmao, and i listened to each one while writing, I highly recommend giving them a listen!

GN! reader, mostly you/your used :) (Obviously some songs will involve specified gender, please correct as you need, and remember that these characters would absolutely make these changes as well)

GIF by legolasimagines

Frodo Baggins - Hopelessly Devoted to You - Olivia Newton-John (Grease)

He definitely has the distinct memory of the classic slow burn moment of “Oh. Oh.” happening, where he realises just how much he loves you. He knew he was head over heels, and he looks at you like you hung the moon. And if you sing it to him- UGH😩💙. IN LOVE, HE SHALL BE. He probably hums it a lot when doing work or writing. Of course, the lyrics are quite relatable to him. Frodo has this internal belief that the person/people he love/s can’t love him nearly the amount he adores them. He was willing to sit around and wait on you, in the hopes that you would see him in the same way. His brain knew he should just move on, but he couldn’t let go, and he’s glad he didn’t. He’s so devoted to simply loving you.

“Hold on to the end, and that’s what I intend to do. I’m hopelessly devoted to you~”

GIF by frodo-sam

(gotta appreciate that me looking up his name resulted in a bunch of po-tay-toes memes. anyway. back to the hcs)

Samwise Gamgee - Hello, Hello - Elton John ft Lady GaGa (Gnomeo & Juliet)

He’s a sucker for meet-cute stories, and would unironically love this movie, even setting aside this banger of a song. The moment he saw you, he felt captivated by your beauty, whether or not the meeting went well or if you fell on your face. The song is just so cheerful and wholesome. He probably told you that the song reminded him of you, and that sparked the romantic relationship. Every time this sequence plays he’ll just look at you (if/when you watch the movie). PLEASE SING THIS AS A DUET WITH HIM AAAA. (He isn’t Elton John, but his voice is lovely 🥰)

“Hello, hello (Hello, hello), my, my, my, what have we here?”

GIF by tossme

Peregrin Took - I’ll Be - Edwin McCain

Honestly it’s hard to explain this one. It’s just so soft and sweet and really describes how he feels about you. Also as the youngest and a, quoting Gandalf here, “fool of a Took!”, the line “and I’ll be, better when I’m older…” is just- MWAH. This song reminds me of him honestly. He is, as the song states, “your crying shoulder”, the “greatest fan of your life”. Everything about you takes his breath away. We all know he’s the best singer in the fellowship, and its just gorgeous to listen to him sing it, especially because he means every word. He also probably dedicated this to you early on in the relationship, and it was definitely your wedding song (if you got married).

“I’ll be, better when I’m older. I’ll be, the greatest fan of your life~”

GIF by thorinsbeard

(tumblr needs more Merry gifs istg-)

Meriadoc Brandybuck - Nothing - Bruno Major

Honestly you wouldn’t expect such a lowkey song for such a high energy guy, but he’s a sucker for lazy days and sweet moments. He’s, as he likes to say, ‘work-avoidant’, and just wants to spend all his time on you. He also finds the song easy to sing to you, so thats a plus. The lyrics just resonate with him, similar to my picks for Pippin and Frodo. He’s very competitive, but he honestly doesn’t mind losing to you. He pretends like romantic or soft movies don’t make him cry, even if they do. He gets the appeal of going out and drinking and laughing, but just staying at home with you just sounds so much nicer to him. Its all about the little things in life with him, the small moments, the laughs, and every ‘I love you’ that makes him feel lighter than air.

“Dumb conversations, we lose track of time. Have I told you lately? I’m grateful you’re mine~”

GIF by thefandomimagine

Aragorn - Dark Red - Steve Lacy

He knows how dangerous his work and life is, and he’s always had this fear of leaving you behind (hence the ‘something bad is ‘bout to happen to me’). He only sees you in his life, no matter who else is wanting for his attention, he’s so devoted to you. He only hopes that you’ll stay by his side and fight with him, and he’s not willing to give up on you. No, he refuses to give up when you are involved, and he fights so hard to keep you safe and protected. The song also is easy to mumble to you when he’s tired, and it’s soothing for him to listen to. It’s just a symbol of how much you mean in his life, and how he trusts you with his heart.

“Only you, babe, only you darlin’, only you~”

GIF by reactionimages

Legolas - Lover - Taylor Swift

Unabashed Swiftie in general, but this song just hits different. So first off he probably already called you his lover, and when he found the song he thought it was perfect. I can definitely see him learning guitar and playing this song for you as well. Into the actual song analysis, this song frames his want to be close to you, the mysterious way he was drawn to you, the way he felt like time flew by whenever you talked. Also I feel like he’s made jealous relatively easily, and that’s also in the song. His heart has been borrowed before, but he’s glad he’s ended up with you, to hear your jokes, save you seats, and call you his lover. He definitely likes to sing this to you late in the night, and i can see him humming/mumbling it whenever the two of you just stand and hold each other. Its so wholesome, and he loves the way your eyes light up when he sings it with all the love in his heart, all of it for you.

“You’re my, my, my, my… lover~”

GIF by tlotrgifs

Gimli - If You Love Her - Forrest Blakk

Honestly, he’s not a very observant dwarf, but he does pay attention to you. He knows you, and he cares a lot. Protective of you to a fault, but just wants everyone to know that they shouldn’t take you or your heart for granted. He hates to admit it, but he thinks you are precious (I’M SORRy-) and every small thing about you is worth taking note of. And he does, so he knows exactly how to make you happier. He’s your personal hype-man, and truly believes that you are the best thing he has ever had. He uses the song as a guidebook on how to treat you, and while he won’t say it, or sing it, he does play this song for you and leave in a huff, just hoping you’ll know this song is meant to say that he loves you. (He might even dub it over with your preferred pronouns for the big reveal, and it’s quite funny)

“They’ll love you, if you love them like that~”

GIF by myrkvidrs

Boromir - Summer Love - The Workday Release

Boromir really thinks this song demonstrates his feelings towards you, and how he wishes you’d stick around with him. You remind him of the summer, warm, bright and hopeful. It was so simple for him to fall in love (it’s like counting 1,2,3). He’s awestruck by your beauty, and doesn’t find it enough to dream about you, he needs to be holding your hand, feeling your presence. He wants to face the world with you there next to him. You always manage to give him a smile, make sense to him, and be honest. He’s not sure how to articulate everything he feels around you, so he just says that he loves you.

“Surely this is love, this is love, this is summer love~”

WOOOOO IM DONEEEE

Ive been writing for the past 2+ hours and it’s late and I’m tired, but I really hope you enjoy. If you want to request a fic, any fandom will do, I’ll get back to you on it, I promise.

Let me know if you want me to do a Part 2 with some other characters <3 Have a great day!!

[livingintheupsidedown]

Colourblind

Steve Harrington x Reader.

[1.5k] - You can't decide if you should tell Steve how you feel or not, he makes that decision for you.

Warnings - mentions of trauma, the events of season 4, the beginning of a panic attack.

A/N - the lyrics used are from a song called "colourblind by ed sheeran" it's a beautiful song i highly recommend listening to it. this is also dedicated to my beautiful friend @dukesmebby because i love her <33

Kaleidoscope love

Yeah, that is you and me

Forever changing

We make life interesting.

The gentle swish of the wind from outside your window was all you could hear, the only sound to reach your ears, although it wasn’t the thing keeping you awake. Your clock read 2:18 but your mind wouldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop playing the events from the nights before. Wouldn’t stop the screams, the cries, the heartache. You had thought you wanted to be alone, but right now you couldn’t think of anything worse. You needed someone to ground you, to remind you it was all over, for now at least. 

You thought of Eddie, an unlikely friend that you’d bonded with quicker than expected. How his body was just left in a dimension no one planned to ever enter again. How if there was a small chance he was alive he would be stuck. How if he was stuck he’d be scared, petrified even, looking for a way home. How he’d be alone, deserted and abandoned by the people he thought were his friends. 

You thought of Max in the hospital, unconscious, broken bones, potentially blind for the rest of her life. How scared she must have been, 14 years old fighting a monster that should only be in fantasy games. How she has her whole life ahead of her and now it’ll be a completely different future than she had planned. How unfair that is for someone so young.

You thought of all the things you should’ve done. You should’ve been there for Eddie, been there for Max. You should’ve got to Vecna sooner so that maybe, just maybe, everyone would still be okay. You should’ve been there for the kids. You should’ve told Steve how you feel. 

You should’ve told him the 3 am drives and late nights meant everything to you, that they were the things that kept you going through the chaos, that he was what you were holding onto. He was the one person who seemed to be the calm when you needed it most, who would lead you to the eye of the storm where it was peaceful even if only for a moment. Steve was your person, you just didn’t know if you were his. 

Some days we're red and some days we both think green

But I like the nights when we leave the canvas free …

You take the dark away and that's no easy feat.

The clock now flashed 3:48 and you’d made your way downstairs. The water bubbled and the toaster hummed as you tried to distract yourself. The gentle noise was welcomed to help slow the thumpthumpthump of your heart, beating far too quickly for the late hour. Your hand hovered over the phone, head fighting with your heart begging the other to surrender. Ultimately, it was your heart that won, your fingers dialled a number known off by heart.

Your hands shook, this is so stupid, you thought. Were you really about to disturb your best friend in the middle of the night because you’re having trouble sleeping? This is ridiculous. This is SO stupid, he doesn’t care, he-

“Hello?” his voice came out as a grumble, clearly awoken from sleep you were unaware he’d only just fallen into. Your breaths quickened, panic now filling your senses, you were such a bad friend why would you wake him up when he was trying to sleep? 

Your name was whispered to you, drawing you back in, “Is that you sweetheart?” a gentle pull back to reality that you ended up clinging to. Even his voice was enough to keep you present. 

“Yeah,” a whisper back, “yeah it’s me, Stevie.”

“Are you okay?”

“I just um, I couldn’t sleep,” a shaky sigh left your lungs, lips dry as you tried to speak again, “My head was- my mind won’t shut off.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

“No no I didn’t want to disturb you I just-”

Your name came out firm, enough to silence the start of your rambling. “Do you need me?”

A beat passed, then...

“Please.”

I keep falling deeper in dark blue

Brighter than white

Rainbows exploding,

But I can't see nothing,

Except you and your eyes.

His engine roared against the silence of the night, your tea was long forgotten, and toast turned stale at your lack of touch. You sat on the floor in the main hallway, phone on the wall above you in case it rang. The thought of one of your friends on the other end needing your help sat deep in your stomach, unable to will yourself to ever be too far from a phone. 

The toll of light footsteps greeted your ears, a familiar sound. One others might find ominous, but you welcomed it, you knew his pattern by now and the sound actually brought you comfort, to know he was up and walking, that he was okay. 

You didn’t bother moving when the sound of his keys rattled against the door. Using the spare that you gave him, you all exchanged keys after the past couple of weeks, a “just-in-case” protocol according to Dustin. The door opened, the glow from the porch light flowed in along with his tall frame. His eyes were wide, panicked, searching. When they found you they softened, along with the muscles in his shoulders you noticed. 

“Hey sweetheart, what’re you doing down there?” his voice came out sweet, like honey was dripping from his tongue. 

“I don’t know..hiding?”

“From what?”

You shrugged, you weren’t sure really, it just seemed safer when you could curl in on yourself, hug your knees to your chest and try to shut out the world, although often you were unsuccessful. 

“Let’s go back to bed hm?” he bent down, arm circling your shoulders as he pulled you towards him, “it’s late, let’s try and get some sleep.”

He led you to your bedroom, manoeuvering through your house as if it was his own, and in a weird way, it was. You and Steve spent more time together in the safety of your own home than you spent outside, a familiar environment, a place where you didn’t have to be so alert all the time, where you could loosen up and act like normal people again.

He pulled the covers of your bed back and motioned for you to climb inside as he shed his shirt, muscles flexing and relaxing, almost mesmerizing. You shook your head from your own thoughts and did as you were told, now was not the time to become even more flustered for god’s sake. He crawled in beside you, laying on his back with one arm behind his head as you rested yours upon his chest, arm coming up to trace patterns on his skin.  

Your breaths synced up, a steady rhythm of up and down, grounding you to reality instead of the world inside your head. “Steve?” you whispered to break the silence, “do you ever think you should’ve done more?”

His chest froze in place for a second, his thoughts in tandem with his body, “More how sweetheart?”

“I don’t know just more?” your voice grew heavy, the threat of water starting to spill from your eyes, “like there were things you should’ve done but didn’t and now you’re not sure if it’s too late.”

He sighed, breath fanning over the top of your head, “I mean yeah, they’re definitely things I thought about doing, about saying, that I just never got round to,” his fingers trailed up and down your arm, a comforting touch, “guess I just didn’t want it to seem like it was in the moment you know? That I was saying it because I had to.”

His hand came round your face, fingers resting under your chin as he tilted it towards him. You caught his eyes, pupils blown wide enough that the brown became difficult to see but you would never miss it, his eyes yet another safe space you could allow yourself to fall into. 

“Because I wouldn’t do that,” he closed his eyes for just a moment, a second, enough for him to gain composure again, “I could never-  I would never, say it if I didn’t mean it. I promise you that.”

His eyes locked onto yours, flickering between them both, undecided in which one was more beautiful, only breaking briefly to peer down at your lips, a moment you didn’t miss.

“I promise you okay?” he spoke out into the air between you both, “everything I tell you is true, the moment just has to be right, I have to do it right.” 

A soft smile rose to your lips, his double meaning lighting a fire in your stomach, your breathing pausing as your fought to gain control, “then wait.”

“What?”

“Then wait Steve,” you spoke, “wait for the moment to be right.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, “yeah I will.”

Maybe we'll just paint the night colourblind.

[disruptivevoib]

hi! ive listened to some of chonny jash's songs but did not realize that there was really a story? Or i vaguely knew but didn't have the time/energy to get into it and with the release of the bidding animation ive realized theres like a bajillion awesome animations and art and i want to get into cccc but have no clue how. also why does soul have a trident.

OH man!

The story of CCCC has an overall seeming narrative, but much of it's smaller points are interpretive due to Jash himself leaving it up to fans of the album. But! Overall it kind of goes like:

-Jash or, what most people call Whole, splits as due to mental dissonance and waning mental health. (Time Machine Reprise).

- Whole fades into Soul (End of TMR into Dream) and from there its Mucka Blucka as a sort of introductory song. The recap for a story you have or haven't heard yet.

- (The entire album is a time loop! Which is a big metaphor for the cycles of mental health and illness people go through.)

- From there its the section called "Cacophony" which starts off with Soul, but eventually it turns to Heart and Mind + their fighting and inability to see or listen to one another or their points of view. Of course, as Logic and Emotion, they both have valid ideas or opinions, but believe themselves so contradictory that the other must be evil or out to get them.

- Heart attempts to shoot Mind, as referred to in Ruler of Everything. Literal or Metaphorical as you take this, it is seemingly symbolic for an attempt at one's own life if not self sabotage. If not then both.

- The rest up until Soul Eclectic is sort of just the Mind and Heart fighting and their own personal views each on the situation.

- Soul in The Soul Eclectic reaches his breaking point. Threatening to kill them all (A more direct attempt at suicide)

- Mind and Heart in the subsequent songs decide to get their shit together.

- (Two Wuv) Soul realizes that not only can they be happier now but that trying to force themselves to conform to society's ideas of mental health or belief or love is just plainly unbeneficial. Sort of a song about unapologetically being yourself.

- Welcome To Tally Hall is a tribute to Tally Hall themselves more than anything.

- This transfers into Concord soon after! Concord is Whole or Jash by himself, though many of the songs seem to carry themes from Cacophony in them. Self sabotage, disagreement, importance placed on the wrong thing, the idea that no one person is better off than another. It concludes with Taken for a Ride. Which is also sort of CJ's epic "im burnt out as hell" song towards the end. But exaggerated to my knowledge for lyrical shenanigans.

That is CCCC as neutrally told as best as possible. I highly recommend forming your own ideas on it, but I'd be happy to also discuss more in depth my opinion on each song should you or anyone else express interest!

Getting into the Trident: The fandom took the metaphor of "Tridential Sovreignty" and "This trident he formed (found? Lyrics.) is both weapon and motive" and said "Soul's got a trident" to which Jash responded with "Absolutely yes he does now" Same with the crown most people put Mind in, and that is referenced in the "Trident, Crown and Blindfold" line.

Soul really did get noose imagery, a trident and a mask. All Heart n Mind got were a blindfold and crown. Lmao

Though Heart is also commonly drawn with wings. Which is semi-canonical according to album covers. I choose to ignore them because I don't particularly have an attachment to the idea!

Getting into the fandom itself, I can recommend looking around for the Chonny Jash Fan Server (CJFS) Discord link. But it can be extremely intimidating and even I just stick to discussion and one other thread channel. (Sides from my au channels which pop up every once a month or so).

Important note is that only Tally Hall covers have to do with HMS. Any of Jash's other music (of which I highly recommend, always) is unrelated. There is also a fan QnA somewhere that was done like a year ago now which has some neat answers in it.

I, again, am happy to go into my interpretations of HMS and the music as a whole but skdmsm saved you the reading hopefully should that be undesired!

[ppeonppeonhan]

Songs That Remind Me of BL Characters & Couples

@zimmbzon kindly tagged me in their post, prompting me to share the first ten songs in my On Repeat playlist. Highly recommend checking theirs out, because mine is...rather basic. And becauuuuse it's basic, I'm gonna add another layer to this and tell you which BL character or couple perfectly matches the vibe of each song.

1 | "imperfect for you" by Ariana Grande: This one's off her new "please feel sad for me because even though I'm messy when it comes to love I still have feelings" album. I may have listened to this one "on repeat," because it's just cathartic to two-step to these lyrics: "I'm fucked up / anxious / too much / but I'll love you / like you need me to / imperfect for you." What's that? Self-awareness? Respect. I just know Ming from My Stand-In would have the audacity to sing this to body-swapped Joe.

2 | "Acid Dreams" by MAX and Felly: Could not tell you who either of these people are but this song is a snap-worthy bop that got me feeling myself every time it comes on -- probably because it opens with: "You look so good in a night gown girl / freckles on your face / lemme kiss each one." This was clearly meant for my generation, because there is not a single human under 30 in possession of a night gown. But Khem from Deep Night would 1,000% use this song to charm the pants off of someone.

3 | "Toco Toco To" by Dixson Waz: I'm Dominican. And even though I understand Spanish, I cannot for the life of me tell you what this man is saying, but I can assure you it is inappropriate. Rated NC-17 without a doubt. And for that reason, I'd pair this song with the entire cast of Playboyy -- just casually playing this in the background of one of their random, impromptu, midday sex parties.

4 | "Lie to Me" by Meghan Trainor: Obsessed. Not with her. With her music. She has so many non-butt-related songs that are worth a listen. I truly feel like she's underrated -- on par with Ed Sheeran -- and she doesn't get enough credit for it. In this track, she sings: "I don't want the truth / I want you." That sounds exactly like our lovesick boy Nick in Only Friends, thirsting after anti-monogamy Boston like he didn't know better.

5 | "Jealous" by Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, & Big Sean: While it is true that every single person on this track is problematic, including producer DJ Khaled, the swagger is immaculate. Every time it comes on, I, sincerely, close my eyes and just picture BTS's rap line to cleanse the beat. Not gonna miss out on a banger because men are the worst. Anywayyyy, the most jealous character I can think of is Way from Pit Babe, who tried to r-word his "bestie" because he chose a random nerd over him. He fits in well with these clowns.

6 | "Bounce Back" by Little Mix: The only British pop girl group I've ever intentionally streamed is Spice Girls, but the algorithm clearly thought it meant I'd like this group, and the track that hooked me was one that sampled the iconic Soul II Soul's "Back to Life." Instant replay. Someone I think lives and breathes the mantra "You can have me however you want me / however you need me" is the Sultan of Simp, Karan from Cherry Magic (Thailand). Achi could've asked for a kidney, and he would've delivered. But coming in a close second is obviously Rain from Love in the Air. Payu had to practically beat him off with a stick -- no pun intended.

7 | "Body" by Loud Luxury and Brando: It's the buildup to the chorus for me -- come to find out many listens later that it's about a guy who is begging a girl to sleep with him because he's been "waiting too long." 🙄 This one very obviously goes to Yuan from Unknown, who damn near disintegrated Qian's clothes the minute he saw even the glimmer of a green light. Talk about a slow build.

8 | "Into You" by Fabolous feat. Tamia: Back in 2003, rappers used to drop an R&B hit every now and then to remind women that they were romantics. The gaslight kings of the aughts. So in this track, this duo talks about an inexplicable-but-undeniable connection, which only makes me think of Vegas and Pete from KinnPorsche. Those two needed a PowerPoint presentation to explain to their friends and family how they went from hostage situation to star-crossed lovers. But we got nothing -- just good vibes and patricide.

9 | "i wonder..." by j-hope feat. Jung Kook: Do I miss them? Yes. Will I listen to any BTS track that's easy to Namjoon to? Yes. Now that we got that out of the way: This song is about enjoying the moment and not wasting the good times by dreading the future. And that just screams Be My Favorite to me. Kawi just kept trying to time-travel his way to a hetero fantasy, not realizing his queer happily ever after was standing right in front of him the whole time in the gorgeous form of the eternally patient Pisaeng.

10 | "MY HOUSE" by Beyoncé: Not to bring up BTS again, but 👀...j-hope would body any choreography set to this song. Without breaking a sweat. And mother would be proud. On this track, the Queen B speaks of once dreaming of the wealth, fame, and stability she has now, and making sure to only keep positive people around her, because love heals. Sailom from Dangerous Romance would certainly relate to having similar dreams and beliefs, and effortlessly exudes equally feisty bad bitch energy. I still can't get over how he disarmed his bully (and future love interest), Kanghan, by basically saying, "You clearly like me. Shut up." And saying it with tongue.

That was fun. 🤸🏿‍♂️

[cyberpunkboytoy]

English translyrics for "Cure" (Round 6 of Alien Stage)

Now you can sing along in English! Feel free to use for vocal covers or take inspiration from them (with credit! I worked really hard)

I highly recommend reading the lyrics in this document, where I've annotated the reasons behind my translation choices in comments. But I'll also drop them under this readmore:

[Till Verse]

To your fingertips let me have you

To your very soles let me have you

Cut me into halves with your eyes

As long as you're looking at me

If you could, leave marks to take with me

If you could, leave nothing left for taking

Swallow me and dissolve me in water

Drown me inside you

[Till Chorus]

Until all these stars in the sky

Are blurred by the passing of time

Though your lips may never warm mine

It's clear on my soul

Take me

Oh, oh

[Ivan verse]

Even if the words that you give me

Scar themselves inside of my mind

May they be something you keep

Like I'm kept beneath your tongue

Tell me now you see how I'm hurting

Tell me how you'll cure me and numb

all the painful screaming, the anxious feeling

I'll drown it with you

[Ivan chorus]

I'm ill from all these lonely nights

Got chills from this heavy silence

Look at me, keep me in your sights

Swallow me whole

Take me

Oh oh

[Bridge]

At least during this song

Can't we dance face to face

With our history and past

Lost to time's embrace?

[Chorus (full version)]

Until all these stars in the sky

Are blurred by the passing of time

Though your lips may never warm mine

It's clear on my soul

Take me

I'm ill from all these lonely nights

Got chills from this heavy silence

Look at me, keep me in your sights

Swallow me whole

Take me

Oh oh

[samstree]

What’s up readers?! How about a little show and tell? Answer these 13 questions, tag 13 lucky readers and if you’re feeling extra bookish add a shelfie! Let’s Go!

Thank you @darthwillies for the tag!

1) The Last book I read:

The Vampire Lestat. I've been slowly reading the first few Vampire Chronicles books since the TV show took over my body and soul lmao. So far this one is a lot of fun!

2) A book I recommend:

Creatures of a Day. It's a non-fiction and a good look into psychology in general and psychiatrist as a profession. Would highly recommend Irvin Yalom's other books too.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

The Song of Achilles. I read very slowly in English but this book had me hooked from the beginning and I finished it in one weekend. This was actually a few years ago now but I haven't had the same experience since. (If anyone knows anything that is the same but like...different, please let me know alskjdf)

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

This Is Going to Hurt. I really liked the humor in the book when the topic is so serious. It's about working in health care and especially in the OB ward. Witnessing life and death daily can't be easy, but Adam Kay makes it easy to read.

5) A book on my TBR:

The Red Sorghum. It's been on my TBR since it won the Nobel prize lmao. The theme is very heavy though, but anyway, one day I will read, even just for the nobel.

6) A book I’ve put down:

All the Light We Cannot See. The writing is beautiful but the WWII story just doesn't draw me in as much. Maybe one day I will go back to it.

7) A book on my wish list:

Can I put an unpublished book here? The Winds of Winter lol, if I can be cheeky for a bit. Watching House of the Dragon really just brought me back into my asoiaf era. I feel sixteen again and piecing together all the clues for the sequel and thinking about all the theories. Unfortunately it is still very much a wish list.

8) A favorite book from childhood:

Journey to the West! Who doesn't love an adventure story about four besties going on a road trip that is full of cool monsters of the week? Also the whole book is metaphor for buddhist enlightenment. So it really contains multitudes.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Silver in the Wood. It's a short novel that I brought to a long flight and just finished in one go. It makes you feel like you've just taken a little walk in the forest. It's a light read that makes a perfect gift!

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own:

Does Evgenii Onegin count as poetry? It's one of my favorite reads back in university. Partly because of the adapted play I think, it is still the top theater experience I've ever had.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

When Breath Becomes Air. It was written by a surgeon about his journey battling cancer at the end of his life. It's one of the books that stayed with me, having read it after cancer being such a huge part of my life for years. I feel like I got some answers from it and would recommend everyone to read.

12) What are you currently reading:

Queen of the Damned. More sexy vampires! Some of them are even old AND sexy!

13) What are you planning on reading next?

Keep reading through the Vampire Chronicles until reason and taste fail me (or Anne Rice does). I hear people tend to stop at some point during the 12 books in the whole series. We'll see how long I last.

tagging: @kuripon @cherryjuicegf @silvipeppers @tideswept @valdomarx. No pressures of course <3

[fluentmoviequoter]

Teeth

Pairing: Vicious fic w/ EO!fem!reader (nonspecific to preserve the feel/suspense!)

Summary: The war between Victor Vale and Eli Ever is just beginning, and you find your place in it.

Warnings: spoilers for Vicious, graphic depiction of open heart surgery, violence (not exactly torture but it's on the bloodier side of things), angst, fluff at the very end

Word Count: 1.9k+ words

A/N: I got this idea while listening Teeth by 5SOS. I used the lyrics and highly recommend the song because it's great.

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist Directory | Victor Vale Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

“Steady,” you demand. “It has to be all the way to the heart. Without direct access, this will never work.”

A moment later, you can see into his chest cavity, his heart beating within reach. As you place your hand around it, his life becomes yours.

Eli Ever gasps as he wakes. He sits up, breathless, before he realizes it was just a dream. You would never do that to him, he knows. Eli looks over his shoulder, and you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Beside him, peaceful. You stir as he turns to face you, smiling in your sleep as he brushes his fingers over your cheekbone.

“Some days you’re the only thing I know,” he whispers. “Only thing that’s burning when the nights grow cold.”

“Nightmare?” you ask without opening your eyes.

Eli hums, and you place your hand on his and encourage, “You’ll heal from it. Just like you heal from everything else.”

“Yeah,” Eli agrees under his breath.

As he lies down, he can’t look away from you. Something inside of him pushes him to beg you to stay, make you promise to be there when he wakes up in the morning, but as you move closer to him, he knows he doesn’t have to beg. You’ll be there.

“Eli!” you yell from the other room. “Focus.”

Eli follows your voice, then pauses in the doorway of your shared bedroom to watch you. On the bed, you’re leaning forward with your head in your hands, whispering something to yourself.

“You okay?” Eli inquires.

You chuckle and answer, “I’d be better if I could get a moment away from you.” You close your eyes and sigh before you stand and turn toward Eli. “I’m sorry.”

Eli shrugs, and pressure builds in his chest when you reach out for him. “It’s fine,” he assures.

“No, I… I guess I’m just feeling lost. That’s no reason to push you away. Stay with me?” You smile as you brush your fingers through his hair. “Please stay with me, Eli,” you whisper.

Eli can’t speak, the pressure around his heart turning into a gripping pain. He nods and pulls you close. Immediately, the pain disappears, and he’s left with nothing but you.

You can feel Eli looking around as if he thinks something is missing. Moments like these are becoming more frequent, and you’re unsure how to deal with them. One wrong step, and you know he could leave you forever. Or worse.

“Stay with me,” you murmur against his shirt, speaking directly to his heart. “I’ll beg you to stay, Eli.”

“Sometimes you’re a stranger in my bed!” Eli accuses. “I don’t know if you love me or you want me dead.”

You clench your jaw and pull your arms tightly across your chest. There’s a hatred for Eli inside you, and you’re powerless to hide it.

“Something in the way you’re looking through my eyes…” Eli adds. “I don’t know if I’m gonna make it out alive.”

“What do you want to hear, Eli?” you ask. “If I tell you I love you, you’ll think I’m lying, but if I agree and say I hate you and want you to leave, you’ll say I’m baiting you! I can’t keep playing this game.”

“You’re the best thing in my life, I look at you and I see my wife. Then you turn into somebody I don’t know.”

You step toward Eli, daring him to come closer and say, “Take what you want, Eli. You and I both know you’re too scared to ask for it and this relationship was doomed from the beginning. So, take what you need and run. I won’t be surprised if I wake up alone.”

Eli’s arms drop as his gaze hardens. For a moment, you think this is the end. Then, he mumbles, “I just need some air. I’ll… I’ll be back tomorrow.”

As the door closes behind him, you sigh. There’s a photo from Lockland on the table beside you, and your smile between Eli and Victor’s masks makes you reconsider everything. But tonight, you have something important to do. Then you can call Eli and apologize. If he answers.

Your leg bounces as the phone rings. Your relationship with Eli isn’t new, but there’s still so much you don’t know about him. Like if he’ll accept your apologies or the lies you insulate them with.

“Hey,” Eli answers.

“Hi,” you greet, pulling your knees toward your chest. “Listen, I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have said those things to you- to anyone, because they aren’t true.”

“No?”

“Of course not. I love you, Eli. I love you more than anything else in the world. But if you decided that there’s something else, someone else, out there that would be better for you-“ you pause and take a shaky breath – “then I love you enough to let you go.”

Eli is silent for several seconds after you finish. He muses, “You said you’d call me in the morning to apologize and every little lie gives me butterflies. Better is with you, you’re the only thing saving me from myself.”

“You’re coming home?” you ask, avoiding looking at the picture of Victor beside you.

“Yes. In a while. There’s something I need to do first.”

“Oh, okay. Be careful, Eli. I love you.”

The line beeps as Eli hangs up, and you look down at your empty hands, pristine despite the feeling of blood running between your fingers.

Eli knocks on the heavy wooden door, then steps back to wait. He knows the woman who lives here, yet he’s never been inside. Something about her makes it hard to argue and easy to tell everything. Maybe that’s why she’s such a good listener and gives worthy advice.

“Eli Cardale,” a woman says as the door opens. “Or is it still Ever?”

“Serena,” Eli greets. “You look good.”

“I know. Here for personal reasons or is this another Midnight Incorporated thing?”

“No, no, business is great,” Eli assures. “It’s personal.”

Serena smiles as she opens the door wider. “By all means, come in, then.”

Sitting in her home library, Serena offers Eli a cup of tea before she sits back to listen to his worries, stories, and everything else he never planned to share but seems to let slip. The first time he came by, he accused her of lacing the tea with something to inhibit his control. She laughed and brushed him off, and as he shares the details of his relationship with you, he doesn’t even remember that encounter.

“It’s like she… she’s the kind of person who can fight so dirty but her love’s so sweet, talk so pretty but her heart’s got teeth,” Eli explains.

“And last night?” Serena presses. “What did you think during your argument?”

“That she was a late-night devil,” Eli answers. “But even when she’s like that, pushing me, hating me, the only thing I ever want to do is beg her to put her hands on me.”

“It’s sounds like you think she has some kind of power over you. Here I was thinking Eli Ever couldn’t get hooked by a pretty girl.”

Eli scoffs as he raises his cup. “You’d know, huh?”

“We had good times together, you and I,” Serena defends. “But this is about you, here and now. What are you going to do about the girl you see a future with but can’t survive twenty-four hours with?”

“I need her,” Eli admits. “But there’s these moments, a sense of clarity, where it seems like everything is fake, something she’s manipulated me into believing to keep me in this- this vicious love.”

Serena sets her mug aside, leans forward, smiles, and encourages, “Then make your own reality. If you want the clarity, grasp it and pull until her love shatters around you.” She leans back and shrugs. “But if you want the future, figure out how to make it yours.”

Eli nods as he stands, not because he feels ready to leave but because something urges him to. He knows what he wants, and while Eli has the clarity to see that you’ve been manipulating him, hooking him into a false love that makes it impossible for him not to return, he pulls. And everything shatters around him.

When Eli blinks his eyes open, you are standing above him. He tries to smile, but then he sees the look on your face. The look Victor gave him after Eli killed himself. Like he’s a monster.

“Welcome back,” someone says on the other side of the room.

You step back, and Eli tilts his chin to watch you. His eyes widen when he sees you and everything else in the room.

“Back to what?” Eli asks, his throat dry and scratchy.

“Reality.”

There’s blood on your shirt, a rose in Victor’s hand. You’re looking at him like you don’t know who he is. When Eli left your manipulative reality, he wasn’t expecting to come to this.

Blood on your shirt, a heart in your hand, Eli thinks. My heart.

“What did you do?” Eli demands.

“Nothing you didn’t deserve,” you answer carefully. “Tell Victor thank you for the get well present.”

“Oh, no,” Victor interjects. “Thank her. She’s the one who decided you should have something beautiful.” He twists the stem, raising the flower toward the light. “A desert rose. Poisonous, perfect, and deadly.”

“You said you loved me,” Eli says, his eyes on you.

“I said a lot of things,” you reply, putting pressure on Eli’s heart. “The only time I meant what I said was when you thought I was lying. I’ve never loved you, and no one ever will.”

You shift and lower Eli’s heart back into place. Blood covers your shirt, runs down your arms, and drips from your fingers as Victor lays the poisonous rose across his exposed ribs. He removes the clamps holding Eli’s incisions open, and the skin begins knitting itself closed over his heart.

“Try healing around that, Cardale,” Victor says.

“What was it you told sweet Serena?” you ask, faux sympathy on your face. “That my heart has teeth? Well, there’s one thing you didn’t learn. Those teeth bite. And now that your heart has poison in it and thorns wrapped around it, we’ll see who’s really the monster.”

“Victor,” Eli grits out. “When I get out of here-“

“I’m shaking in fear,” Victor deadpans, “but I’m going to stop you right there. You’re not going anywhere. Welcome to purgatory, Cardale. Enjoy dying, over and over and over.”

As you follow Victor out of the sterile room, you grimace at having any trace of Eli on your skin.

The last thing Eli hears you ask is, “Vic, do you think insanity is spread through bodily fluids like hepatitis?”

On the other side of the door, Victor thanks you for your help, then tells you to leave.

“Yeah,” you agree sarcastically. “One thing you should learn from that is I don’t give up. And you’re stuck with me until Eli meets his true fate. I just determined his fate for three days; I’m not walking away yet.”

“You heard her,” Sydney calls from the end of the hall. “And from Eli’s girly screams, I’d suggest not picking a fight for her.”

Victor sighs but waves for you to follow them. Holding Eli’s beating heart in your hands was a good start, but this fight is just beginning. Luckily, your heart, teeth and all, is still beating.

[memphis0806]

This Town by Niall Horan reminds me of Stucky.

for those who have no idea what I’m talking about. Please stay regardless.

Here’s This Town by Niall Horan, I highly recommend you have a listen at some point: https://youtu.be/ic1l36GrNOU?si=Byjdt9eiFAA92pl1

And for those of you who don’t know what stucky is, stucky is a gay ship between Steve Rogers (Captain America) and Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) also know as Stevebucky or Steve x Bucky. Whatever you choose. Shipping them in any universe is fine just as long as you are aware of the fact that Bucky is a teen while Steve is an adult in many of the comic universes and thus don’t ship them in those. Other than that, happy shipping!

For starters, the main bit of the song is “If the whole world was watching I’d still dance with you, drive highways and byways to be there with you.” The meaning Niall intended was essentially, I don’t care what other people think of it I love you and wanna be with you, which works pretty well for Steve and Bucky since they were literally born pre WWII. That lyric works so well for their time because of the way lgbtq people were treated at the time. Even the “…drive highways and byways to be there with you” fits perfectly because of the whole “I’ll be with you till the end of the line” thing and the quote from TFA where Bucky goes “The little guy from Brooklyn who couldn’t stay out of a fight. I’m following him.” Although I mostly ignore canon for the sake of this ship, we can still keep the fact Steve and Bucky continuously found each other. They literally went through so much trouble just to be together. (Even if you don’t ship them, that’s pretty much the plot of the cap movies. Steve is motivated to save Bucky. Just for the sake of this post, please ignore Endgame. Great movie, I ignore it as far as canon goes.) Besides all the wars and things Steve starts for the sake of Bucky, Bucky does a lot to protect Steve too, and even though I usually ignore it he even went into cryo again because he didn’t want to be a danger. Now, for a more literal standpoint, I head canon based on some other stuff I need that Bucky really likes to dance (even though he won’t usually show it around anyone but Steve or for the sake of pre-serum, dames he was trying to impress). He taught Steve to do it, and after he’s improving mentally and starts getting more comfortable/confident, (and especially after they start dating) he consistently asks Steve to dance with him. After Bucky gets even more confident as he’s doing better then they especially don’t care, and my little headcanon can be implemented in the literal canon thing I described above. That’s the thing I love about This Town, is that it fits both canonically for the most part and for lots of headcanons and fanfiction stuff.

You wanna know the best part about this song? There’s more. For the sake of your time and mine, I’m going to summarize it the best I can, but no promises.

The beginning of the song goes “Waking up to kiss you and nobody’s there. The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air.” Which works well if you like to count Endgame (and ignore the fact that it says kiss) since Steve left Bucky. It even works before Steve found about Bucky being alive since he is so motivated by the other. In continuation, “yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round” was quite literally what Steve did consistently after he woke up in the 21st century. He swore that he saw Bucky everywhere. (It didn’t help that The Winter Soldier was mostly a ghost story.) You can also use it for pre-serum Steve since Bucky was constantly looking down alleyways to keep Steve out of trouble.

okay this post is gonna be really long because I just thought of more lol.

“And I want to tell you everything, the words I never got to say the first time around.” This one mostly only works if you ship Stucky, but that’s mostly the point of this post. How I imagine their love story is that they both were in love before the war (refer to tons upon tons of Pinterest and tumblr posts) and they tried to write letters to each other to confess and they either never got sent, got lost, or who knows what. (There are actually fan made letters somewhere on the internet that you can find for this). After they both find each other and whatever, this is when they get the second chance to telling each other everything “the words I never got to say the first time around”

and then of course there’s “and I remember everything” which is ironic because of Bucky’s brainwashing problem, but Steve still remembers everything so there’s that. And it gets better: “from when we were the children playing in this fairground”. Well, obviously as Bucky gets his memory back he remembers more, I mean like I’ve said I don’t tend to count the movies as canon however, he quite literally told Steve that he remembers “your moms name is Sarah, and you used to put newspaper in your shoes.”

of course there’s a couple bits of the song that don’t match well, but depending on what you believe you can interpret how you want, because that’s what 99.9% of music is.

While “I saw that you moved on with someone new” doesn’t quite fit, there’s “in the club that we met he’s got his arms around you”. Although they met in school, there’s still those times Steve was with Peggy and you can imagine how hard that must’ve been for Bucky.

also “and I know that it’s wrong, that I can’t move on, but there’s something about you” doesn’t entirely fit if you read it the way Niall probably intended it, however. Between Steve waking up in the 21st century and finding out that Bucky was in fact alive, you can imagine that he felt bad for not being able to move on from his best friend that he loved so much.

Finally, there’s the last lines (which are repeated throughout the song but I mean hey). “You still make me nervous when you walk in the room, butterflies they come alive when I’m next to you” Bucky is found to be alive, Steve feels all sorts of emotions at the sight of his best friend. If I wasn’t lazy I’d post the reaction shot of Steve from catws. If you ignore endgame, it’s also pretty evident that the two would be happy to have each other back, and as a plus, works pretty dang well as far as fanfiction goes.

then of course the last last lines are “over and over the only truth. Everything comes back to you” which FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD, IGNORE ENDGAME UNLESS CONVENIENT, GREAT STORYLINE, NOT CANON FOR THE SAKE OF THIS POST. Other than endgame and probably pretty much the motive for the entirety of their relation/friendship. Is there whole thing. They keep coming back to each other. They always find each other no matter what. They fight literally and metaphorically with each other in sync, and they are always saying they’ll be with each other til the end of the line.

To those of you that chose to read this post, thanks. I was not planning on analyzing the whole song but kinda glad I did cuz this was fun. And hey, maybe I awakened something as far as stucky goes for someone.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Undertale (Undertale)

"It's the culmination of leitmotifs from the entire game while the monsters explain the story of why they're trapped and how they still have faith in the king after all this time. Toby Fox actually said this song's original version was too sad. It's not a sad song, it's a hopeful one. and that's what hits so hard."

Easier (The Crane Wives)

I learned to lie/I learned to grow/I learned to hold it for a while and then/Let it go/I learned to take/I learned to keep/Please tell me someday/I'll at least be able to sleep

"It's a double whammy because I started out applying it to a blorbo (Vash from Trigun) due to other lines in the song than the ones I submitted, namely the first two verses and choruses which I won't type out here but I highly recommend you look up the lyrics for. Then, I ended up applying it to myself due to the lyrics I submitted above. About a year and a few months ago I developed chronic vertigo due to a curve in my neck, or at least that's what I believe the cause to be. It's not always dizziness, most times it's just soreness from the pressure put on my neck and shoulder muscles, which has been made worse by my posture shifting due to only being able to sleep in one position. Recently things have been worse, and there were several nights where I couldn't just lay down and sleep, I had to wait for my medication to knock me out. Things have been a bit better, lately, but I still have to wait until I'm too tired to keep my eyes open before I even attempt trying to sleep or else I'll get a wave of dizziness. With those symptoms and the fact that I can't lay on my back or look straight up or sleep on any side but my stomach without becoming severely dizzy, I've been frequently looking back on my life and how I took such simple things for granted because I never thought I'd have trouble with them before I got old or something. It's likely that this condition is not unfixable, but we aren't sure just what WILL fix it yet. It'll take time, of course, if it is a posture issue like I believe it is, but I hold out hope that it won't be forever. Some nights it's just harder to hold onto that hope. So when I'm passing the time on a bad night by listening to my Trigun-themed playlist and Easier comes on, usually I have to skip it to avoid breaking down crying if I get to thinking too hard."

[cherrybean]

BCS Character Pairings as Billie Eilish’ new album songs

Love this album it’s so good and cuts deep in some of the lyrics 🥲 highly recommend !

‼️SPOILERS‼️

Lalo and Nacho - Blue

Lyrics: “I try to live in black and white, but I’m so blue”/ “Victim of your father's plans to rule the world”/ “But they could say the same 'bout me, I sleep 'bout three hours each night”/ “And I could say the same 'bout you born blameless, grew up famous too just a baby born blue”

Reminds me of the way that they’re alike yet so different. Both got into the cartel business for whatever reason, Nacho for quick money (from my guess) and Lalo because that’s what he was “born” to do. I feel that they’re both upset on how they’re in this life, but both deal with it in a different way; Nacho wanting escape and have a free life and “not have to look over his shoulders” while Lalo completely delves into the world he was thrust into and basically dominates it, although, in my own interpretation it also seems that it takes a toll on him as he only sleep 2-3 hours a night and almost sees this as normal or “bliss” because he “gets his best ideas while others sleep” or when others have his back turned to him so he has the advantage.

Jimmy and Kim- Birds of a Feather

Lyrics: “If you go I’m going too”/ “Can't change the weather, might not be forever, but if it's forever, it's even better”

Omg my favorite couple 😭 I absolutely love them so much. While I think that they did love each other I also think it had a lot to do with them being almost complete opposites in a way(?). Kim knows who she is and she is not afraid to project herself as a very confident person. Jimmy on the other hand has a hard time grasping who he really is. Is he a good guy who feels empathy and wants to do good by Chuck and not slip back into his ‘slippin’ Jimmy’ shenanigans or is he his alter ego Saul Goodman who uses the law in an unethical way to contort Justice to his/his clients personal gain? In their relationship they both start to grow with each other and become almost the opposite of who they were from the start. I love the way their relationship grows, although in the end they didn’t end up together 😢. I also believe this is the way Jimmy would feel about Kim because even until the end he does everything in his power to protect her even if that means rotting away in prison.

Mike and Gus- Chihiro

Lyrics: “To take my love away”/ “Kinda strange, feelin' sorrow”

Another pair that is the same yet so different. Both of them lose a really close and important person in their lives to them playing a dangerous game. Mikes son because he couldn’t be a corrupt cop like him and Gus’ friend/lover because of Gus overstepping his bounds. They both deal with this in anger and in seeking blood-for-blood. I love when Nachos dad calls out how revenge is basically worthless in this quote: “What you talk about... is not justice. What you talk of is... revenge. It never ends... my boy is gone.” I love how as the show progresses we see that Mike finally sees himself as what he is: a bad guy/ex&current corrupt cop. I feel that he also heals from losing his son in a way and basically comes to terms with it. On the other hand, Gus does not. Gus stops at nothing to get his revenge and in a way of poetic justice the last person who he wants to kill ends up killing both of them and the feud they had being completely obliterated.

Bonus:

Mike and Jesse- Wildflower

Lyrics: “She was your girl, you showed her the world”/ “But I see her in the back of my mind, all the time”

Oof this is a hard one. I chose this song because it reminds me of when Jesse is trying to get closer to Mike and Mike shuts him down with “you are not the guy, you are not capable of being the guy, I had a guy and now I don’t” which I interpret him as Nacho being his “guy”. I’m BCS we see Mike start to care a lot for Nacho and it shows how he almost sees himself in Nachos dads shoes with not wanting his son to get hurt in the lucrative business he’s in. You can tell Mike cared a lot for Nacho when he goes to tell Nachos dad about his passing and how he’ll get justice for him. I believe that Mike then doesn’t want to get close to Jesse as a form of closing himself off since he knows people don’t last long in the business. Obviously they do end up getting closer and the lyrics just remind me of Mike probably thinking of Nacho in the back of his mind whenever he does ride alongs with others and wondering how long they’ll eventually last, or if they’ll outlast him.

Walter and Skyler- The Greatest

Lyrics: “Man, am I the greatest. My congratulations. All my love and patience. All my admiration”/ “I loved you and I still do”

The lyrics basically speak for themselves. As we’ve seen in BB, Skylar is constantly out of the loop on what’s going on with Walter, from the cancer to then cooking meth. This song reminds me of how Skyler stuck around even when she didn’t want to or it pained her, for her family and because I really do think she loved Walter, but she couldn’t be with him due to his selfishness and putting them in danger. Sorry this one isn’t longer, this relationship just really stresses me out and makes me mad 💀