#i imagine soap like ethan a lot

[cod-dump]

*playing rugby* Soap after getting slammed into the ground by Ghost: Like the old saying. It's never, uh, old dog- You can teach an old dog, uh- you can't, you can't teach- Can you? Gaz: Uh, hit your head a little too hard earlier, buddy? Need to go lay down? Roach: Damn it, Ghost! You stupidified him! Ghost: He was already like that, don't blame me

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

out of curiosity, what’s your process for doing the little lasso tool doodles??? I’ve done them before and they’re a lot of fun, but I always have trouble with layering since it can look awkward just tracing around shapes if you’re only using one layer. do you use multiple layers or do you just already have a good sense of where to put everything ??

unfortunately the only footage i have is from my streams! but here is a timelapse of one of my vods where i used the lasso tool, ignore the chat LOL

u can check out my streams on cuptoast on twitch for other VODS of lasso tool drawings, i doing drawing streams every other day and ive been making a lot of lasso tool pieces recently

i dont sketch with this style, imagine carving a block of soap LOL, i just shape it and layer things accordingly, i dont use a lot of layers with this style and mostly freehand it

some advice i have is to draw layered, not as in draw with actual layers but like, for example, when idraw zacaharie i draw his hair, then his face, then is mask ,all layered on top of each other in the same layer

drawing with the lasso tool is very fun but i understand that it can be complicated and difficult! its one of the main reasons i draw the batter with it but not ethan, ethan has a lot more colors and a lot more layers, the batter is more fun because of how simple his design is

its good for practicing values and poses because of the linesless style, good luck! and if u every have questions or want advice u could always stop by stream and send a chat!

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Bex would you be down to write a dom ethan and sub reader type dynamic smut? This isn’t a request just wondering if it’s something you’re into 😻

Anon of course this is something I am into. First time writing more dominant Ethan! I hope you like it Anon, I haven't posted a fic in over a fucking month! Everything has been so hetic and nuts, I've been working on this behind the scenes and I am hoping this gets me back into the swing of things! Let's go!

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Now Or Never.

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Rating. Explicit. Length. 2.5K. Ethan Landry X FEM! AFAB! Reader. Warnings: DUB CON! Stalking. Creepy And Delusional Behaviour From Ethan. Obsessive Ethan. Man Handling. Degradation. Vaginal Fingering. Vaginal Sex. Raw Sex. Implied Cream Pie. Hold The Moan. Don’t Get Caught. 

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Ethan has never been the kind of guy to really go after what he wants. He is much more passive, go with the flow, he doesn’t want to upset the apple cart nor ruin the image that people have of him. He knows it isn’t the best practice, he wants to get out of that, he wants to start doing things for him, maybe he should have made the call to start standing up for himself before agreeing to help his family avenge his brothers' death via a complex murder plot. However, Ethan was committed now, and he wasn’t going to back out, more importantly he saw no way how to, and so he stays. 

Assuming an identity in a new place and pretending to be someone he isn’t to infiltrate a group of people, pretend to be their friend just to be close enough to kill them was stressful. It felt like it was consuming his whole life, losing who he actually was in some regard, he needed a distraction, something to help give him purpose, ease his worries and the harsher edges of it all, or he’d go nuts. 

You were his outlet. 

Stalking just went along with what he did in service of the grand plan, you were not part of it, not involved, but you caught his eye in one of his classes. The first time, he was just going the same direction as you, he swears to God, he wasn’t being a creep, at first. That did not last long. He started to watch you, learn your schedule, get into your routine, and whenever he wasn’t having to continue his charade he was consumed getting lost in you. 

He knows where you live, he knows your class times, the coffee shop you frequent, your order at said shop, he knows what soap you use, the part-time job you hold and that one of your biggest pet peeves is when the tag in an item of clothing itches against your skin. 

He’s been watching you for an amount of time that he is sure if you knew would make you very fucking uncomfortable. You seemingly hadn’t caught on to what he was up to, which was good, it meant he could keep it up without worry, watching you living your life while you were totally oblivious. To be fair, how observant you are or are not, is not what he liked best about you, honestly what he liked is that you were the opposite to him in a lot of ways. No real responsibilities other than the ones you wanted to have, just living the way you want to, he felt some modicum of jealousy over that, he imagines what life could be like if he could get out of his current situation and have a more normal existence with you, it’s a good escape, but it’s just that, a fantasy, an unattainable one. 

It is getting harder and harder to ignore the situation he is stuck in, the same way it is becoming impossible to ignore the clawing feeling of dread in his chest. He wanted to stop feeling so helpless, wanted a sense of control, to feel like he was living for himself, even in a tiny sense. 

Time is running out, and he needs to correct this, or he might fuck up everything without some serious stress relief. 

Ethan learned about the Halloween party you were going to attend, and he thought maybe that would be good, to go and cut loose a little while near you. That plan changed, morphed, got away from him once he was actually there and near you in the costume you chose. 

He tried to keep distance, to just watch but between observing you having fun, the mounting pressure and the frankly bordering on painful erection in his jeans that would not stop throbbing finally a piece inside of him broke.

You had to know what you did to him. You had to know the effect you had on him, it was like you were aware you were being watched, doing this on purpose, it’s maddening. He could crush the red solo cup in his hand as he observes you dance with a friend, the way your hand rests on his arm, your head tips forward to press against his shoulder as you laugh, the sway of your hips, it should be him, why not him? He stews in his thoughts and the anger, the unfairness and the budding arousal threatening to boil over inside himself. 

He’d brought his Ghostface costume along, had it in his bag for something he needed to do later, it was like he acted on autopilot. He sneaks off, he got into the costume, and then he waits for the right moment. 

You are on your way to the bathroom, but not the main one people use, no these were your friends, and you knew about the lesser used one, he knew about it because of course, creep that Ethan was, he followed you there. When you are close enough he strikes, his hand over your mouth, his other arm loops around your middle, and he drags you the rest of the way to the bathroom. The door is already ajar, it’s no trouble to get you inside, a backwards swing of his foot to the wood makes the door close. The light is dim, there is a nightlight plugged into the wall outlet near the counter top by the mirror, so someone stumbling from the basement guest bedroom can find their way to the bathroom he assumes. 

You are struggling against him, squirming, muffled sounds trying to get out from behind his hand, but he is struck by just this. He is touching you for the first time, holding you, he draws you closer, makes it so you are flush against him. He’s thought about this countless times, you are warm and softer than anticipated, he can fucking smell you and it is intoxicating. He is so caught up in this, taking in every detail and small movement, he presses his hips forward, grinds himself on you through the layers of jeans and black fabric as he smells your hair and then what you do next? Ethan never would have thought in a million years you’d respond like this, by your eyes closing and you grinding back, pressing your ass closer to him with a sound behind his hand that might sound like a moan if he let you express it fully. 

You aren’t fighting him, not any longer, no you are rocking with him, trying to stimulate yourself in any way possible against him-

Oh.

You are better than he thought, he knew you were a slut, he’d seen you in your place, knew your porn search history and the collection of toys you owned, but to be down to fuck a masked stranger you hadn’t exchanged a single word with? You were a world-class whore, he was going to take advantage of this opportunity to the fullest. 

He knows he doesn’t need to hold you so closely, his arm releases your mid-section, his hand slides down your body and between your legs and up the short skirt of the costume you wore, fingers press to your underwear. You are already wet enough he can feel it through the thin material and his gloves. Your hips buck, wanting to get closer, feel more of him, it feeds his ego and emboldens him, you want him, and he isn’t going to deny you. 

He gets his glove off, he needs to feel you, skin on skin. His hand slides into your panties, his fingers dip as low as they can and feel the source of your extreme wetness, he presses, tease the hole carefully before his digits slide up through your folds, and he knows he finds what he needs when you gasp, head thrown back against his shoulder. 

His hand works, fingers circle over your clit, and you inhale sharply through your nose, brows furrow, and he watches you in the mirror. The way the pleasure plays out on your face as he teases you, he enjoys how your body responds, the small tremors of your limbs, the twisting and squirming of your form, the way your clit throbs under his touch as he presses harder. 

He needs to feel you inside. Fingers move, you whine, he dives inside, and he curls them, it causes the biggest reaction out of you yet. Your body pitching forward, hands on the counter and your walls clenching around his fingers. You are so soaked, soft, hot and so thoroughly alive. He can barely move them inside of you, but he does, he slips them in and out, presses to that same spot that got such a big reaction out of you, and he moans quietly, he swears he can feel you getting wetter. 

In and out, flex and push, you writhe, and he wants to hear you, he pulls his hand away, but before he does, he has one finger over your lips, that classic symbol of “shhh” and you nod, eyes half lidded and lust filled. You let out quiet moans, his palm grinds against your clit as his fingers fuck in and out, he can’t take much more. The simple movement, the motion, how hard he is rocking against your ass, he wants to be buried in you, wants to fuck you. 

So he does. 

His hand moves, fingers pulled out, and your eyes had slipped closed again, at the loss of him they open, confused and when you see him pulling the robe up you get the hint. You make your own move, shaky hands lift off the counter and your fingers hook under your skirt, you tug down your underwear and you step one foot out, leaving them hooked around your other ankle. He has the robe up and his pants open finally, the relief of pressure on his straining erection has him letting out a small sigh. His hands are on you, he adjusts you, one knee on the counter and pushing you forward, your hands braced on the sink, and you adjust too, your hips tilt and soon with a hand on your back and the other on the base of his cock he is lining up. 

It’s rushed and faster than he wants, but he just wants so much, it’s been so fucking long he can't stop it, can't help himself. He feels you, the heat coming off of you, the wetness on his tip, he lingers for only a moment before his hips move involuntarily, and then he is helpless. The first half inch pops in with no resistance, and you are perfect, you feel incredible it makes him let go of himself, hands lock on your hips, and he pushes further, slides deeper, and he watches you in the mirror. The way your mouth falls open, the exhalation, the way you tense in some regards and relax in others, but mostly he can’t focus on much else other than how your cunt feels around him as he settles in, finally to the base. 

He soaks you in for a second, you are more impatient than he, you whine again, needier than before, and you move first, pull your hips forward before sliding them back, and it makes any semblance of control break. He takes over, the grip on your hips tightens, and he pulls out almost totally before driving back in, you have to bite your lip to hold the moan back enough to not be overheard. The party is on the main floor, you are in the basement, but you are sure that he could make you alert everyone up there. 

This was insanely hot for you, a masked stranger pulling you away and touching you, groping you, fucking you without you seeing his face or uttering a single word? Unbearably hot, his fingers were good, but even two minutes in his dick puts his hands to shame. He is greedy. He touches more, he didn’t touch you enough before, his other glove comes off, and he touches your legs, your thigh, a firm squeeze of your ass, he feels up your sides and your chest. You lean closer into his touch, moving still with him, loving the pace he took as he fucked you, rough and quick, he pulls the top of your costume down, exposes your tits, palms them, and you moan louder than you probably should. 

This is good, but it could be better still, your hand is between your legs, you stroke your clit as he fucks you, the stretch of him is delicious, you find yourself gasping, arching your back a bit more so he hits that spot inside just a bit harder, a touch better. You are so close to the mirror you are in danger of fogging it up, but you want to look at him, you’d been staring at his masked face this whole time, wondering who is under it. 

You move back, press yourself closer to him and away from the mirror, and you get this urge. This urge that you don’t question or think about. Your back is to his chest, he is still preoccupied with fucking you and rolling your nipples between his fingers, perfectly distracted, huffing and letting out small sounds of pleasures, groans, you reach back behind him and the move is fast. You push the hood back, fingers grip, and you pull and twist, the mask comes off. He’s shocked.

He was so consumed with the feeling of getting to have you, with the mounting pleasure, he even had his eyes closed like an idiot, you got the drop on him. He stopped, held deep, and your eyes met in the mirror. 

He’s hot. Hotter than you thought possible, dark sweat soaked curls and hard eyes, pretty pink lips are wet and parted, he’s strong and has had no issue throwing you around and holding you down. The low orange light playing off your body and his face is going to be burned in your mind forever.

You don’t want him to stop, you want to keep going. You maintain eye contact, you move again, pull him out slightly before bucking back, he inhales hard, and you do it again, and again, slip more out and take him harder on every movement, and he comes back to himself. 

You like this, like him, you liked him as a stranger doing this, but you were still into this now made it even better. He takes over again, he fucks you harder while still meeting your eyes in the mirror. He wasn’t going to stop now until you came around him, and he filled you up.

God, he needed this. 

[seaweed-brain2-0]

Not only is it Percy Jackson's birthday today, it is also Percabeth's (12th??) Anniversary, so here are some of the best Percabeth moments in PJO and PJO alone. [The light blue is just me being me]

“You drool when you sleep.” (obviously)

“Me, go with you on the… the ‘Thrill Ride of Love’? How embarrassing is that? What if someone saw me?” (It was at this scene when I knew, these two would be my comfort couple in the future)

“I don’t know what my mom will do, I just know I’ll fight next to you.” “Why?” “Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”

Annabeth’s shroud was so beautiful—gray silk with embroidered owls—I told her it seemed a shame not to bury her in it. She punched me and told me to shut up. (ah, young love)

PERCY CARRYING AROUND ANNABETHS PICTURE IN HIS NOTEBOOK TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT SHE WAS REAL no i’m not taking this one straight from the book, the paragraph is too long.

But whenever Annabeth talked about the time she spent with them, I kind of felt . . . I don’t know. Uncomfortable? No. That’s not the word. The word was jealous. (and it still took him four years to realize he was in love with her??)

She looked good. Really good. I probably would’ve been tongue-tied if I could’ve said anything except ‘reet, reet, reet’.

She tackled me with a hug, then pulled away just as quickly. “I’m glad you’re not a guinea pig.” “Me, too.” I hoped my face wasn’t as red as it felt. (nine year old me is SCREAMING)

“I’ll get us back to the ship,” I told her. “It’s okay. Just hang on.” Annabeth nodded to let me know she was better now, and then she murmured something I couldn’t hear because of the plugs in my ears. (THE INTIMACY)

The crowd cheered. Annabeth planted a kiss on my cheek. The roaring got a lot louder after that. (THEIR FIRST KISS DFGHJNBGVFDFGH why am I still fangirling over this, I've seen them kiss a billion times-)

“Um, who should I ask?” She punched me in the gut. “Me, Seaweed Brain.” “Oh. Oh, right.” (✨slow dance✨)

[Aphrodite] When she smiled at me, just for a moment she looked a little like Annabeth. (I repeat: AND IT STILL TOOK HIM FOUR YEARS TO REALIZE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER????)

“You didn’t believe I was dead?” “Never.” (I believe I was dead at this point)

“I, uh, was thinking we got interrupted at Westover Hall. And . . . I think I owe you a dance.” She smiled slowly. “All right, Seaweed Brain.” (✨slow dance✨ part two *more screaming*)

“Think positive. Tomorrow you’re off to camp! After orientation you’ve got your date—”

“It’s not a date!” I protested.”It’s just Annabeth, Mom. Jeez!”

“She’s coming all the way from camp to meet you.”

“Well, yeah.”

“You’re going to the movies.”

“Yeah."

“Just the two of you.”

“Mom!”

She held up her hands in surrender, but I could tell she was trying hard not to smile. (this whole scene deserved to be in here and you know it)

“Hey, it’s . . . it’s okay.” I patted her on the back. I was aware of everything in the room . I felt like I could read the tiniest print on any book on the shelves. Annabeth’s hair smelled like lemon soap. Behind me, somebody cleared his throat. It was one of Annabeth’s half-brothers, Malcolm. His face was bright red. I stepped away from Annabeth “We were just looking at maps,” I said stupidly. (imagine falling madly in love with Annabeth Chase and not knowing it until she kisses you, couldn't be me 😐)

Annabeth glared at me like she was going to punch me. And then she did something that surprised me even more. She kissed me. (*screaming intensifies*)

Annabeth and I pretty much skirted around each other. I was glad to be with her, but it also kind of hurt, and it hurt when I wasn’t with her, too. (I've just given up on screaming at Percy for not realizing his feelings sooner 😐🔫)

Annabeth wiped a tear from her cheek. “I’m glad you’re not dead, Seaweed Brain.” “Thanks,” I said. “Me too.” (you know what I'm not glad about? Beckendorf's death 😃👍🏽)

We locked eyes. I thought of a different time last summer, under Mount St. Helen's, when Annabeth thought I was going to die and she kissed me. She cleared her throat and looked away. “Prophecy.” “Right. Prophecy.” (ahaha pain)

Malcolm grinned at me. “We’ll wait outside while you finish inspection.” The Athena campers filed out the door while Annabeth cleaned up her bunk. I shuffled uneasily and pretended to go through some more reports. Technically, even on inspection, it was against camp rules for two campers to be . . . like, alone in a cabin. That rule had come up a lot when Silena and Beckendorf started dating. Anyway, for some strange reason I was thinking about this as I watched Annabeth straighten up. (fOr sOmE rEaSoN)

“Hold on, Seaweed Brain.” It was Annabeth’s voice, much clearer now. “You’re not getting away from me that easily.” (*sobs*)

“I’ll go with Percy,” Annabeth said. “Then we’ll join you, or we’ll go wherever we’re needed.” Somebody in the back of the group said, “No detours you two.” (stop saving the world and go make out 🙄)

Before I could lose my courage, I said, “Don’t I get a kiss for luck? It’s kind of a tradition, right?” I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. “Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we’ll see.” (AND COME BACK ALIVE, HE DID)

“You’re cute when you’re worried,” she muttered. “Your eyebrows get all scrunched together.”

“You are not going to die while I owe you a favor,” I said. “Why did you take that knife?”

“You would’ve done the same for me.” (HOLY F U C K)

I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. But this was Annabeth. If I couldn’t trust her, I couldn’t trust anyone. (goodnight.)

I glanced back. Annabeth was trying not to meet my eyes. Her face was pale. I flashed back to two years ago, when I’d thought she was going to take the pledge to Artemis and become a Hunter. I’d been on the edge of a panic attack, thinking that I’d lose her. Now, she looked pretty much the same way. I thought about the Three Fates, and the way I’d seen my life flash by. I could avoid all that. No aging, no death, no body in the grave. I could be a teenager forever, in top condition, powerful, and immortal, serving my father. I could have power and eternal life. Who could refuse that? Then I looked at Annabeth again. I thought about my friends from camp: Charles Beckendorf, Michael Yew, Silena Beauregard, so many other who were now dead. I thought about Ethan Nakamura and Luke. And I knew what I had to do. “No,” I said. “I’m honored and everything. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just . . . I’ve got a lot of life left to live. I’d hate to peak in my sophomore year.” The gods were glaring at me, but Annabeth had her hands over her mouth. Her eyes were shining. And that kind of made up for it. (THIS WHOLE SCENE RUINED MY PERCEPTION OF MEN. THEY ARE, IN FACT, NOT AS PERFECT AS PERCY)

“I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.” When she kissed me, I had the feeling my brain was melting right through my body. (I'M MELTING)

We held hands right up to the moment they dumped us in the water. Afterward, I had the last laugh. I made an air bubble at the bottom of the lake. Our friends kept waiting for us to come up, but hey—when you’re the son of Poseidon, you don’t have to hurry. And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time. (DFGHJHGFDFGHJNHGFDFGHJNBVCFGHJMNBVCFKIJUHYGT I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER RECOVER FROM THIS ITS TOO PERFECT GOODBYE FOREVER)

[riverstardis]

the great pretender:

unrelated but the metro soaps newsletter came this morning and it’s really thrown me as to what day it is

ohh this is the episode where evie runs away

the secret one direction hideout in the dilapited building sjskdk

this whole scene with rita cal and ethan is so funny shskdkfjf lemme type it out

rita: i can’t believe you two are brothers

cal: really? we’re like two peas in a pod

ethan: clearly (sarcastic)

cal: we share everything, same clothes, same car, same women

rita: women?

ethan: he means our mother

cal: no hang on, what about tina pitman?

ethan: what about tina pitman?

cal: well we both went out with her at the same time

ethan: only i didn’t know that, she was meant to be my girlfriend

cal: his first i might add

ethan: she started two-timing me

cal: *spits out his drink* two-timing, so quaint

ethan: with my own brother

cal: so technically we shared the same woman

ethan: yes, only i didn’t know that

cal: anyway, if you ever fancy a ménage à trois then we’re here for you

ethan: no, he is, i’m not

cal: i’m lining up something really exciting and you immediately hit the breaks

rita: i’m hitting the breaks as well

cal: alright well you are at this moment but i reckon given a little longer in third gear you might be persuaded to go into top

*rita and ethan laugh incredulously*

rita: i’m not sure you can take it

cal: woah girl!

cal could be so annoying sjskkdkfk

and then after he’s left rita’s like “i can imagine growing up with him wasn’t easy” and ethan’s like “no, but it wasn’t dull either” i miss them so bad :(

i wanna know how old they were when they dated tina pitman though because cal says woman but presumably they didn’t go to the same university and haven’t lived near each other since then so they must’ve been teenagers right? or maybe they did go to the same university idk what the chances of that are, we know cal went to ucl but don’t know where ethan went

yikes that was a close call

poor evie’s been through a lot in her life hasn’t she

fletch’s wife been in an rtc because of course she has

this patient’s mum is so annoying

i know that tess and fletch had an affair but i just can’t imagine it at all because i didn’t see any of it

awks that tess is treating natalie though

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Completely agree with your post, everything just feels vapid to me. And it's either things are never off air ie the Harriet/Paul saga's or we get things starting ie Aaron/Ben, Luke/Ethan then it's dropped for months just to eventually be picked up again out of nowhere, there is no balance to anything. And alot of people's scene's just seem randomly thrown together to get the actors episode count up,the Aaron crime stuff for example. It's like there is no structure to anything on the show now.

The Harriet/Malone story is still infuriating to me. It’s been going on for well over a year now. Even with Covid scheduling, at this point it would still be close to a year’s worth of episodes. And sure it’s gone through various stages but my god, why is it not over? Thankfully, it’s not on every week anymore but when it does crop up again it’s always like “is this going to be it?” and then no...it’s not. So they’ll just have to ramp it up again the next time and it’s...exhausting. I just don’t understand their complete unwillingness to end this story. No one likes it. They’re not even doing anything interesting with it anymore. It’s still baffling because like...literally no one cares that this man is dead. At least when Emma’s story went on for a whole year, it was super soap week to super soap week so...I got it. And there were people that cared that James was dead. I mean I didn’t, but his family did. Or like the Cameron stuff. People cared about Alex and Gennie and Carl’s death mattered because Chas had gone down for it first. There were stakes. There are no stakes here. It’s just continuing for no reason. Who is actually going to care when it finally ends other than that it’s over? 

Sorry...had to get that out. 

But yeah, the Luke stuff got dropped but might be coming back at some point considering set videos from the actors?? And obviously Ben disappeared. I can’t even imagine how he’s going to just show up after like 4 and a half months and be like “hey remember me!”. I mean Aaron hasn’t once mentioned him. No one has mentioned him other than random people at the HOP to say “hey he still exists and works here” and that was literally only twice. 

The general balance of characters seems like it might be slightly getting better but that’s because the Paul story is over and the Harriet story disappears for long stretches. But it’s still an issue. 

And while I like a lot of the new characters like Meena and Mack and Charles and Ethan, they have just really thrown a lot of stuff at them. And Meena and Mack’s backstories are a damn mess and so the things they do in the presence don’t totally make sense. And they keep adding to Charles and Ethan’s backstories and making them more complicated and I don’t really know why they threw quite so much at them so fast rather than letting them just settle in a bit. 

I don’t know. It’s such a mess right now. They need to overhaul the whole thing.

[jtsfavslut]

idk if u do requests but an imagine where you do the survival challenge with gray? 🥺

ANHH OMGGG AND YES IM TAKING REQUEST ALL THE TIME.

But that would be so cute cuz Grayson is superior at camping.

Also it's short but you know how it is if you want a part 2 just let me know mamas😌

“I’m not doing that, can we just do something else Grayson,” Ethan groaned as Grayson proposed another survival challenger as a video.

“Than don’t go, I’ll do it with Y/N,” he answered and grinned at you, you didn’t know what they were talking about since you were editing a video of your own.

“Y/N is doing what?” You asked closing your MacBook, making sure you saved the video before.

“Grayon wants to do another survival video and wants you to go with him,” Ethan said as Grayson looked at you with begging eyes.

“Please baby, I want to do this with youuu,” he begged. You were gonna say yes anyways but you wanted to tease him for a little.

“Me? Surviving with you? In the wild? Without showering?” You joker as he shook his head.

“I’m kidding, we can go. I know how to survive too, my dad used to force me to watch that guy on Discovery Chanel that eats bugs,” you said, bringing a smile to his face.

“Ughh, you two were made for each other. But in the plus side I’ll have the house to myself for two days,” Ethan said walking away.

“God, you were made for me,” Grayson said getting up and standing in front of you.

“Ehh, I don’t think so.” You joker and went back to editing.

“Oh yeah?” He teased. He moved the computer from your lap and picked you up carrying you to his room.

“Yes sir. I was made for my self,” you nodded as he dropped you in his bed and crawled up so that his hands were on each of your side, and his body on top of yours.

“Well yeah, but you’re mine,” he grinned placing a quick kiss on the tip of your nose.

“True,” You shrugged.

“When are we going, and where are we going?” You asked as he dropped down next to you.

“Tomorrow since it’s Saturday, and our last day will be Sunday. And I’m thinking that forest that we go to,” he said and grabbed a piece of your hair playing with it.

“Ight that’s cool,” you said nodding. “We need to go to Walmart to get stuff, we’ll what we sculls need” you added and he agreed.

*SATURDAY*

“Have fun, and call me if you guys need anything,” Ethan said as we loaded our stuff in Grayson’s car.

“Thanks E, make sure you don’t destroy the house,” Grayson joked closing the trunk.

“Also, I left you a bunch of cooked stuff in the fridge so that you don’t burn the house down,” you said putting your phone in your back pocket.

“See everything was good, until you insulted me,” he said and pulled you into a hug. He let got and hugged Grayson.

“See you on marsh E,” grays shouted as you to got in the car. You drove away as Ethan went back inside.

“I’m not worried about anything, but bugs, or showering,” you said, as Grayson put his hand on your bare thigh since the shorts you wore weren’t covering that area.

“Well, the bugs we can kill, but the showers, I’m not sure. We can find a lake or pond” he shrugged putting on his glasses.

“We love a smart man,” you smiled as he blushed.

“Stoppp,” he said digging his fingers on your thigh.

“You stop,” you said and grabbed his hand and played with his fingers.

“You know,” he began saying. You looked his way to his infamous, but famous smirk displayed on his face. “There’s a lot of stuff we can do while camping,” he said.

“Really? Like what,” you said. “Oh wait I know,” you added.

“We can make s’mores,” you replied.

“Well yeah but other things too,” he said.

“Grayon Bailey Dolan. We will not be having sex on the ground. What if a bug bites me ass,” you exclaimed as he laughed.

“A bug will not bite your ass, you say no but we’ll end up fucking anyways.” He shrugged.

You pulled into the parking lot of the forest or park you would be ‘surviving’ at.

“So first we need to find an area-” he began saying before you cut him off.

“Close to water, has shade, and is flat, and close to wood. Yeah I know Grayson,” you said grabbing your back pack and his as he grabbed the other stuff.

“Well damm,” he muttered.

You spent a couple of minutes looking for a place, those few minutes were spent joking around, and you almost falling into a ditch.

“Babe? Can you set up the tent while I look for more wood?” Grayson asked you placing all the stuff down

“Yeah. Iv never done that before but I’ll just look for the instructions.” You said and he walked away.

“Hey guys. So it’s just me and Gray today because Ethan was being a little bitch, so you have me instead of Ethan today. How nice” you spoke into the camera.

“Anyways, Grayson told me well, he asked me to set up the tent, so I’ll be ATTEMPTING to do that,” you said emphasizing the attempting.

You placed the camera down makeing sure that you’ll be able to see what you’re doing.

“So I’m supposed to put this on first” you started talking as you built the tent.

You spent a good ten minutes building the ‘foundation’ while talking to the camera.

“So now I’ll we need to do is put this” You said holding up the cover. “On top of the tent, but I don’t reach so we need to wait for Gray.”

“I would go ok my phone, but we left them in the car since we can’t use it” You said as you picked up the camera.

“Also I look a mess, but when do I not” You joked.

While you were speaking to the camera, Grayson came back with all the wood.

“Baby, when we’re done setting up, can we go shower in that lake we passed?” You asked him.

“Yeah baby, I’ll be done in just a sec, can you get our clothes from the bags.” He said, without replying you went in your bags, pulling out a pair of biker shorts, clean underwear and one of grays tees.

“I’m just gonna gran him some underwear and joggers cuz I know he’s not gonna wear the shirt,” you spoke to the camera. You could hear Grayson talking to his aswell.

“Also guys we brought some natural soap that doesn’t harm the environment, I don’t know if it counts as cheating but we need to shower.” You spoke shaking the soap you guys brought.

“Baby lets go,” Grayson said standing next you and placing a kiss on your cheek, making you blush.

“Ok guys, we’re gonn cut the cameras because our we don’t post that type of videos,” Grayson said you nodded your head as he turned it off.

You quickly took of your clothes and jumped in the lake.

“Heyy, that’s not fair, I didn’t get to see anything,” Grayson shouted while he stood infront if the lake.

“That’s not my problem Mister,” you laughed as he took off his boxers and jumped in.

“What did I tell you earlier” he smirked as you shook our head.

“Not a chance,” you laughed.

He wrapped his hand around your bare waist pulling you into him.

His right hand came up to your face, moving your wet hair away from your face.

“I love you,” he whispered kissing your forehead.

“And I love you, Gray,” you smiled up at him, admiring how good he looked as water droplets fell from his hair to his face.

“Good, but I love you more,” he said and softly crashed his lips on yours.

[urlocalbunny]

.micro!eloise - raphael.

   warnings: this is chill fgs just a tiny hc dw 

  Raphael did know that if Ivan kept training as diligently as he was, he would be physically capable of feeding for himself. But he still sent Eloise in his place just to help him out a little bit. He did not, however, think that she would cause trouble to the younger vampire. 

  That’s what he said out loud in the main lobby as they all looked at a tiny Eloise in his hands.

  "What did you say you did?“ Aaron asked a few octaves higher than usual. His eyes were wide as saucers as a small Eloise looked embarrassed covering herself in her sleeve. 

  "It wasn’t my fault, okay? I didn’t do anything. Eloise said she wouldn’t apologize to a shady woman around our age that bumped into her and poof, she turned into a tiny person right on our way out! If I didn’t catch her under this pile of clothes, she would’ve been jam!”

  Eloise accepted a tiny piece of cloth Beliath gave her and hid inside her regular clothes, maneuvering it so that she made a tiny sleeveless dress for herself. She then turned to her vampire.

  "Can you open your hands?“ He did so, feeling her jump on his palm. “I think this is temporary… I don’t know, my senses tell me so.”

  "I cannot believe you were so careless!“ He said, putting a finger on top of her head, rubbing it.

  She hugged his finger, yawning. "Love, you’re so bossy. Ivan is okay, that’s what counts, right? He fed real nicely! Nobody found out!”

  "Which means you just created all this night’s problems?“ Raphael scolded lightly, making her lower her head. 

  "I’m sorry, love…” She hugged his finger again. 

  He paused. Furrowed his brows. Than slumped his shoulders. He tried again.

  "I cannot seem to be angry with her when she is this small.“ He said, which made Ivan chuckle. Aaron eyed her tiny form and looked around.

  “How are you supposed to take baths and sleep without getting crushed?” The three of them got quiet. Someone would have to take care of her. And most importantly, hide her from Ethan or he would throw her out of the window and she would have to fight for her life with a stick and an ant army. 

  "I suppose that I can take care of it. You are my chalice, after all.“ He said as he sensed her uneasiness. "Do not feel powerless just because you are not like the others. I see a lot of that.” He smiled, feeling her nodding her head that was resting on his finger and chuckling.

  "I will find you a bowl and a tiny piece of soap. How does it sound?“ Aaron said and Raphael nodded.

  "Thanks, friend. I will take her to her room before any of the others find out. You go to sleep, Ivan. Maybe stop ogling over my… "tiny” chalice too. She is not a doll”

  He laughed heartily “I know, but she looks very funny holding your finger. I’ll leave your dress in your room for you, ok? Today we were awesome!” He said, kind of baby talk. Eloise made a high-five with the tip of his finger, making him chuckle as he walked up the stairs.

  "Good night, Ivan!“ She yelled and he waved. 

  "Now I think we are supposed to give you a bath.” He said before Aaron approached them again with a tiny bowl and a small soap the most cut with a knife. 

  "I can’t believe you!” He scolded like a father, his red hair hanging like ropes she tried to hang on to. 

  "Be nice to her. She is really small" Raphael said, closing his hand carefully in an embrace that frustrated her plans of jumping on their friend’s fringe.

  "Aaron, you look so magnificent! Wow!“ She said, punching his nose. He sneezed to the other side. 

  "This is some bad smelling sorcery. Go shower, God!” Raphael chuckled and said farewell with Eloise’s tiny shouts of a good night.

  "Ok, so, how should we do this?“ She said, getting rid of her tiny makeshift dress.

  Raphael said nothing as he opened the warm faucet, mixing the water and rubbing his finger on the soap. “Get inside your tub." 

  She was red all over but did as she was told so. Her boyfriend then started with her tummy, rubbing it lightly and working his way down into her thighs and tiny head. Aaron chose a good smelling soap, she thought. She felt, then, a cold, wet finger slide through her boobs. She yelped.

  "Raphael! I’m still butt-naked! Don’t wash my whole body!” She scolded. He retracted his finger and laughed loudly, but covered his mouth quickly. 

  "I am truly sorry! I did not realize I was getting too comfortable. How rude.“ He blushed, turning his head away.

  "Hey… It’s okay… Here. I will wash you.” She said, holding his finger with her small hands. To her surprise, he moaned lowly.

  "Why do you have to be so adorable?“ He said, feeling her hands slide up and down on his finger, making him groan with the things he started to imagine. Now it was not the time for this, Eloise needed him! 

  …That’s what he tried to tell himself as she used her tiny hands to guide his finger inside the water and rinse it together with her body. She suddenly got quiet.

 "Is there something wrong?” He asked. “You’re cold. That is it, right? I’ll put warm wa-”

 “Can I… Can I ride your finger?”

  "God, Eloise… What are you saying?!“ He hissed as if they were being heard. "You don’t know when you are going to come back to normal!”

  "That’s exactly why I want to do this now!“ 

  He shut his mouth. The idea was not bad, considering how much she seemed to want this. Her pleading voice was cute, too… How could he possibly resist?

  “Alright. But you cannot tell anyone that.”

  "It’s not like I would ever tell anyone anything, and you know it.“ His cheeks tingled at her witty response. She was right… Library sex was the first thing they ever did as a couple, and even if it was right on everyone’s faces because of Ethan’s big mouth, she denied until the end.

  "You are right, my darling.” He said, feeling her soft ass land on the tip of his index finger. She was wet and warm from the water. Not wasting a second that could be room for thought, she rocked her hips back and forth as she held the pad of his other finger. She squeaked.

  "The ridges of your fingerprints feel so, so nice.“ She moaned, feeling herself glide along his skin and slip back into the top of his finger pads. His finger was soft but firm, making the pad mold to her sopping heat. "I’m going to… Oh, god!” Her tiny core throbbed on top of his finger, but she didn’t stop. Her grinding got harder and harder as she chased yet another high, her tiny cries and her hands squeezing his other finger. She even tried to scratch him. He chuckled darkly at her. She bucked harshly and bit his finger. 

  "Raphael, I love you so much!“ She squeaked as she crashed against his hand, hips still dragging against his finger to ride out. 

  "I love you too, how is it again…? Ah, tiny one.”

  She laughed as he carried her like a secret to her room. 

  In the morning, Raphael woke up to the sight of a normal-sized Eloise sleeping next to him. He let out a sigh of relief as he nuzzled into her to go back to sleep until dusk. He reminded himself to ask her to repay the favor for him, though.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Get Together

Part 6 in Getaway Series

Warnings: noncon sex (oral, vaginal and anal intercourse, menstruation, violence), angst, rude words from a rude dude. This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. I mean it, I’m not gonna tell you again.

Summary: Steve makes his appearance at the reader’s family barbeque.

Note: This is fucking rough. No exaggeration. I can actually not express her how fucking brutal this chapter turned out so please read the warning, re-read them, then read a third time. I mean it. This is some dark ass shit and I’m almost questioning myself at the moment.

Anyways, hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think as always. Love ya <3

...

You'd always dreaded your mother's barbeques. They were crowded, noisy, and hectic. Not only with stuffy family members you avoided but strangers your mother knew from work or even just met in passing. She had a habit of seeking friendship in any who looked her way.

Your mother was at the top of your list of those to avoid. Since your break-up with Ethan, you had done your best to change the subject whenever it came up between you. You were sure Gia was also feeding her curiosity.

You didn't have the energy to lie anymore and you certainly wouldn't tell the truth. You prayed that Steve forgot your sister's invitation. That you could show up, say hi, and scurry back home.

You woke up early that Sunday. Your mom texted you until you got up and assured her that you would be there. You needed to powder the lemon squares anyway. Those were your specialty; your mother insisted on them for every gathering.

You went to the kitchen in your long tee and pulled out the powdered sugar. You filled the sifter and began to shake it over the pan of squares you made the night before. You yawned and grabbed your lower back.

You had been relegated to sleeping on the thin mattress without its frame. It didn't stop Steve. He returned in the days since its breakdown to terrorize you. You suspected he enjoyed the thought of you on the floor.

The door clicked and you glanced over as the lock slid open. You sighed as Steve entered. So much for hoping. You carried on your work as you covered the desert in sweet snow. The door closed behind him and he strode into the kitchen.

"You know, you do strike me as the baking type," He remarked as he came up beside you. "Cute."

You ignored him and kept your eyes on the pan. You were really not looking forward to going now. How would you explain him to your mother? Hell, you weren't quite sure how Gia hadn't seen past his poor disguise. You had but you'd also found him in his uniform. She had only seem the casual, easy-going Nick.

"Doesn't start til noon," You grumbled.

"Lots of time then," His fingertips tickled your thigh just beneath the hem of the shirt.

"I'm on my rag," You didn't look at him as you set the sifter in the sink and tucked the sugar away in the cupboard.

"Hmmp. Explains the attitude but I don't see how it's relevant." He leaned against the counter as you crossed your arms at him. "Do you think a little blood will stop me?"

You tilted your head. He wore a button up and pressed slacks. Polished leather shoes and a matching belt. He had dressed up for your mother's little shindig.

"Nothing will." You resigned.

"You're right." He pushed himself away from the counter and headed back through the door. "So, let's make the most of our time."

You rubbed your forehead and rinsed your hands. Keep him happy and he might not humiliate you entirely at the barbeque. You followed him as he carefully undressed in your living room. He draped his shirt over the chair, his slacks too, his socks tucked neatly into his shoes beneath. He was deliberate; basking in your obvious agitation.

"On your stomach," He pointed to the couch.

You frowned as he pulled his briefs down. You huffed and tried to pass him. He caught you as he dropped his underwear on the chair.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting a towel," You snapped. "You've ruined enough already."

"Hurry up." He let go and paced towards the couch.

You grabbed the towel you used the night before and whisked back into the room. As you neared him, he turned to rip it from your grasp. He spread it across the couch and stood back. He was hard and judging by the twitch in his jaw, impatient.

You lowered yourself onto the couch. You stretched out on your stomach, content to hide your face in your arms. Your head shot up as he slapped your ass.

He pulled your shirt up and yanked your panties down your legs. He flung them away from him, the pad still clung to the crotch. He climbed over you, his legs on either side of yours.

He pushed his cock down past your ass and to your entrance. He prodded at your pussy but didn't go further. He ran his fingers along your back and you shivered.

He grabbed your arms just above your elbows and pushed inside. You exhaled into the cushion as he thrust slowly. His cock added to the fullness which had settled in your pelvis. Your hips ached as he moved against you.

He grunted as he fucked you. Usually he was more talkative. He forced your back to arch painfully and you groaned. The room was filled with the sounds of his flesh against yours. He got faster and faster. His pelvis crashed against yours and sent ripples up your spine.

He let go of your right arm and slapped your ass as he sped up again. He kneaded the flesh as his hips stuttered and you held yourself up on one elbow. “Dont--” You choked on your voice was he came. Fuck. You were already a mess, you didn’t need more of one.

“What?” He eased himself to a stop and grabbed the back of your head. He shoved it into the cushion and pusher deeper until you whined. “Were you trying to say something?”

“N-no,” You rasped. “Nothing...”

He released you and pulled out of you roughly. He tugged free a corner of the towel from beneath you and wiped himself off. You sat up and felt the flow of semen and blood spill onto the towel. “You should get cleaned up,” He turned away and wandered casually towards your bathroom. “You do like to play the innocent, don’t you?”

You heard the smirk in his voice. You grabbed the towel and stood. You followed reluctantly. The shower trembled and burst into life. You tossed the towel in the hamper and grabbed a fresh one. Another for him.

You sighed. You should let him air dry. You plopped the towels on the closed toilet and looked up at the shower curtain. Steve’s broad figure was just visible through the foggy plastic.

You pulled your tee over your head and tossed it on the floor. You stepped into the shower behind him, the smell of your lavender body soap tickled your nose. Great, hopefully nobody noticed his flowery scent.

He scrubbed his hair with your shampoo and you did your best to catch some of the stream. You tried to wash him away but somehow, you could never quite remove the taint of his touch. He switched with you wordlessly as you lathered soap on your skin. His hands trailed through the bubbles on your back and he poked you with his erection. He never took long.

You wetted your hair as his fingers crawled along your hips. He hummed as his cock slid along your ass. You froze and closed your eyes. Waiting. He drew his hands away and the shower curtain chimed as he pulled it back.

“Later,” He promised. “Get cleaned up.” He closed the curtain behind him. “I can’t wait to meet the family.”

Your heart stopped. At least it felt like it did. Fuck. It was bad enough that he had endeared himself to Gia, she was an easy mark, but you couldn’t imagine what your mom would think when you showed up with a new man. Well, you hadn’t invited him. You’d make that very clear.

You gulped and squirted some shampoo into your hand. Distract her with the lemon squares, she might not even notice the bearded goon following you like a shadow.

-

You were quiet as Steve drove. You should’ve figured he had a car but you really hadn’t put too much thought to his activities outside of hounding you. You balanced the lemon squares on your lap and stared out the window. You gave him directions when needed but your mind was already at your destination.

Your mom’s street was lined with cards. You walked half a block between the car and her house. You could hear the buzz of voices in the backyard. You led Steve around the side as he looked over the house. The gate was unlocked to welcome guests and your dad was already warming up the barbeque.

Your mother appeared at the back door and sighted you from across the yard. She smiled and came down the steps. As she wove through the other guests, her eyes landed on Steve and her brows shot up. She greeted you with a one armed hug as you avoided smushing the pan against her middle. She took the lemon squares from you as she let go.

“Honey!” She preened, “You’re here. A little late, but here.” She peeked at Steve, “And who is this?”

“Nick,” Steve offered his hand. You looked over your mom’s shoulder as Gia made her way towards you. Shit.

“A friend,” You filled in grimly. “Gia invited him.”

You sister appeared at the mention of her name. She was pressed and plucked perfectly. She smiled at Steve and trilled her hello.

“I gather your guy is here,” You commented on her flowery dress. “So…”

“He’s in the bathroom,” She returned. “And you actually brought a friend.”

“I didn’t exactly ask him along,” You mumbled.

“Sorry, Nick, I promise our family is not usually this hostile,” Your mother chimed before she looked to you and Gia. “Girls.”

“Siblings,” He chuckled coolly. “I don’t mind.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I steal my daughter for a moment,” Your mom replied. “I promise I’ll have her back quickly.”

“Not at all,” He shrugged. “It looks like a lively party. I’m sure I can manage.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Gia assured, “Ben should be back soon.” She turned to Steve and batted her lashes. “You two will get along.”

You sighed quietly and reluctantly let your mother lead you away from them. You hated how easily your sister got on with him. How smoothly he put his mask on and fooled others. Your mother took you inside and set down the pan on the counter. She turned back to you, still smiling.

“I figured you could cut the squares,” She said, “And tell me about this Nick.”

“Mom,” You brushed by her and took a knife from the block. You removed the lid from the squares and set to carving lines through them. “He just lives down the hall. That’s all.”

“He’s cute…” She sang, “And after Ethan and you split so suddenly--”

“I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” You interrupted her. “Nick is just...someone I know. He wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Gia’s big mouth.”

“So, when do I get to see this new place of yours,” Your mother smoothly deflected your irritation.

“Whenever you want, mom,” You shrugged. “Not much to see. A lot smaller than our--my old one.”

“Gia did say that. Honey, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” You assured her. “I’m sorry, it’s just...if everyone could stop bringing up Ethan I’d be a lot better. It’s bad enough that I’m here with--”

The look on your mother’s face was frightening. Her smile was gone and her eyes were wide. Your ears tingled and you sensed a shift in the air. A familiar voice rose and drifted through the window. The sound of gasps and ‘oohs’ were soon to follow.

“Oh, mom, you didn’t,” You dropped the knife and headed for the door.

“Gia didn’t say you were bringing this Nick guy, I thought you two could talk…”

She followed as you swept through the backdoor to find the two men standing chest to chest in the midst of the crowd. Steve had a few inches on Ethan and was almost twice as wide. Gia was holding back your ex as the super soldier grinned with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You son of a bitch,” Ethan snarled as Gia fought against him. “What is he doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” You stormed down the steps towards him. “You said you didn’t want to talk.”

“I didn’t, but I thought--” His eyes flashed as you neared. “I didn’t think you’d be bringing him along.”

“Ethan, why did you come?” You kept your voice low. “It’s over.”

“Sure as fuck it’s over.” He pushed Gia away and Steve laughed. You stepped between them before Ethan could raise his fist. “I just thought maybe we didn’t have to leave this the way it is.” He looked around and gritted his jaw. “You’re a fucking slut.” He backed away slowly and looked to your mother. “You hear that? You’re daughter is a cheating bitch.”

“Son,” Your dad appeared, spatula in hand at Ethan’s side. “I think it’s time you go.”

Ethan glared at your dad and Steve dropped his arms. He squared his shoulders as he came up beside you. Ethan sputtered and looked around at his audience. “Fuck all of you.” He turned and stomped out the gate as you watched. Your eyes stung and you sniffed back the tears that threatened.

You glanced around at the guests who were still in shock over the scene. You turned and marched past your mom and back up the steps. She trailed you into the kitchen and you picked your knife up and continued to cut the squares. Silently.

“Honey…” Her voice was pitiful.

“I didn’t--” You shook your head and swallowed your words. You finished with the lemon squares and pulled out a plate to serve them on. The screen door flapped opened and closed and you looked up as Gia entered.

“So…” She came up on the other side of the counter. “What was that about?”

“Leave it, Gia,” You grumbled as you focused on the dessert.

She crossed her arms and leaned against the island. She chewed her lip as she watched you. “Did you…?”

You looked up at her and your lip trembled. “Please, don’t even ask me that.”

“Well, that was...intense. What am I supposed to say?”

“Ethan’s bitter. That’s all.”

“And you and Nick? You never…” Her voice trailed off as you dusted off your hands and rinsed them. You couldn’t look at her. That was all the answer she needed. “When you were still with Ethan?”

“I fucked everything up, okay?” You turned and barked at her. Your mother watched in stunned silence. Her face painted with judgment. The same revulsion you felt for yourself. “I did it. I made my own fucking mistakes and they are none of your business.” You huffed. “Leave Nick alone. Leave me alone. It’s better off you don’t get yourself involved.”

You turned and headed for the door. Your mom was quick to block you, her arm across the screen. “Honey, you can’t just run away?”

“I know I can’t run,” You said. “But I can’t stay here. Not after that.” You looked over your shoulder as you grabbed the screen door. “I told you not to invite him.”

You pushed past your mom and tramped down the steps. Steve was stood with some man you’d never seen. Dark hair, graying dark suit; it must’ve been Ben. You came up beside Steve and touched his elbow. He looked down at you and smirked.

“We’re leaving,” You said.

“What?” He blinked. His blue eyes narrowed at your order.

“My mom wants us gone,” You lied. “I think we’ve caused enough drama. Drawn enough attention.”

He thought and nodded. “Suppose you’re right,” He turned to Ben and excused himself. “Nice to meet ya.” He grabbed your elbow and cleared his throat. He ushered you to the gate and you were thankful at least to be leaving. “It’s a shame. I was really looking forward to trying one of those squares.”

You kept quiet as he squeezed your arm and dragged you down the street.

“It was nice seeing Ethan again, wasn’t it?” He boasted. “Should’ve broke that jaw of his and maybe he’d have shut the fuck up.”

“Steve,” You croaked. “Please.”

“Fuck,” He shoved you into the side of the car and you stumbled. You turned and he was on you in an instant. His body held you flush against the hot metal. “You’re still in love with him?”

“Of course I am,” You spat. “You--you ruined everything. I was happy.”

You shook as you glared up at him.

“You were complacent. You had a boring life before me. Nothing before me.”

“I hate you,” You sneered.

The crack stunned you. Almost as much as it stunned him. Your hand flew up across his cheek before you could stop it. His head moved just a little and he grabbed your wrist before you could lower it. His blue eyes were fiery.

“Oh-ho-ho,” He smiled; a dangerous smile. “There we go. I’ve been waiting for that.” His other hand came up around your neck as he bent down. “Get in the fucking car,” He whispered and squeezed. “Now.”

He let go and backed away. You gulped as you stared up at him. Your heart raced and your entire body was on fire. You trembled as you pushed yourself away from the car and stumbled around to the other side. His door slammed as he got in and you shut yours softly. You gripped your knees as he turned the engine.

“You’re in it now, bitch,” He growled as he pulled out.

The locks clicked and you watched the houses pass in a blur. Shit.

-

Steve drove up to your building. He stopped in front and before he could kill the engine, you had your seatbelt undone and the door unlocked. You shoved the door open and bolted out. You fled done the sidewalk without an endpoint in sight. You just wanted to be away.

You heard him behind you. The slam of his door and his shoes keeping time with yours. You were out of breath before you reached the corner and he kicked your legs out from under you. You flew forward and scraped your palms and arms on the pavement with a yelp.

He planted his feet on either side of you and pulled you with a hand on your neck and the other on your arm. He lifted you as if you weighed nothing. To him, you were nothing.

“I’ll scream,” You tried to pull away from him as he turned you back down the street.

“Then scream,” He kept his hand on your arm as he walked you beside him. “I don’t give a fuck.” He marched you along the walk and kicked closed the car door as he passed. He dragged you up to the door of your building, your shoes slid across the pavement helplessly. “I should’ve showed everyone what a whore you were back at your parents, eh? You’d be begging for it just like you did in front of Ethan.”

“Stop!” You twisted and he slammed your back into the door. The force knocked the wind from you as he glared down at you.

“You know why I won’t leave you alone?” He pinned you against the door. “Because every time I come, you’re that much closer to breaking and when you do, I’m gonna love every second of it.”

You blanched. You tried to shove him away and he easily caught your arms. He turned you around and reached into your pocket. He took your keys and shoved them in the slot. He wrenched the door open and pushed you through. You stumbled as he slapped your ass and barked for you to go.

You fought him as you ascended the stairs. You hit every wall as he forced you up. If any stumbled upon the struggle, you suspected he’d be no less brutish with them. When you reached your floor, you planted your feet and he kicked your rear. You fell to your knees and he grabbed the back of your blouse. 

He dragged you down the worn carpet and to your door. He swiftly opened your door and tossed you inside. You hit the wall just next to the kitchen doorway and slid back down to your knees. The lock slid into place as his breaths grew louder in his anger.

A subtle jingle sounded from behind you and he grabbed your shoulder as you tried to stand. He forced you down onto your stomach and straddled you between his thick legs. He held your wrists behind you as he tore loose his belt. He wrapped the leather around your wrists and pulled it so tight, your fingers throbbed.

He smacked the back of your head as he stood. He toed your side and paced around you in the small space and lifted you to your feet. You tried to kick out and he deflected your leg with his. He grabbed your neck and held you against the wall.

“You wanna play that game?” He slapped your cheek with his other hand. The sting burned your cheek and he did it again. Harder. You clenched your jaw as he hit you over and over, every strike meaner than the last. “Let’s play.”

He ripped you away from the wall and shoved you ahead of him. You dug your heels into the floor and he sighed. He smacked your ass so hard you stumbled and he caught the back of your pants before you could topple. He dragged you into the bedroom and pushed you so that you fell face first onto the mattress.

“Stay,” He rested his shoe between your shoulder blades and pushed until you could breath.

“Fuck you!” You lifted your head and looked back at him. “I fucking hate you.”

“I know you do,” He removed his foot and slid his phone out of his pocket. “But it won’t look that way, will it?” He moved his thumb around his screen and set the phone sideways on your bookcase. “I send this little video to Ethan and he might just be stupid enough to share it.”

You dropped your head against the mattress and grunted as you pulled against the belt. You heard him moving around, the floor creaked beneath his weight, and you swore into the blanket. He was going to take everything from you, even your family. No, he wouldn’t get that. Never.

Your whole body jolted as he tore your pants down in one motion. Your panties and flats were swept away with the pressed fabric. You were left bare and face down. He knelt on the mattress next to you and flipped your over. He ripped your blouse down the middle and snapped your bra. He tweaked your nipples painfully as you tried to roll away.

He slapped your cheek again, this time with the back of his hand. His knuckles left your cheekbone tender. You tried to sit up and he pushed you back down easily. He was completely naked. He climbed over you so that his thighs were around your head and pressed his cock against your lips.

“Open up,” He squeezed your chin. “Come on. Don’t make me break that pretty little face of yours.”

You opened your mouth and he was quick to slip inside. You gagged and spasmed as he invaded your throat. You couldn’t breath as he sank his entire length into you. He leaned on his knees and began to thrust. He grasped your hair between his fingers as he fucked your face.

“He was fucking right. You are a slut,” He panted as he sped up. Faster and faster until stars spotted your vision. “You’re probably wet already.”

His grunts filled your head as your eyes rolled back. He never wavered, even as you were certain you would pass out. He bent over you and pushed his cock as deep as it could go and you felt the sickly heat burst in your throat. He snarled as he came and you were forced to swallow or choke.

You coughed as he pulled out of your mouth. Your head lolled and he slapped you again. Three times before your eyes opened. “We’re not even close to done,” He turned you over again and struck your ass. You whined and he spanked you until your ass was raw.

“Fucking dirty,” He said as he shoved his hand between your legs.

You could feel the blood and your unwilling arousal spread along his fingers. He pushed your legs apart and grabbed the back of your neck. He lined himself up and entered you smoothly. You groaned against the mattress and he plunged to his limit.

His hand slipped down to the belt and he pulled on your wrists as he began to move. His hips slammed against your ass. You rasped into the blanket as your body racked beneath his. Each thrust was painful. A reminder that he was in control. That every fight would end this way.

He kneaded your ass with his other hand as he crushed you into the bed. You could feel the floor through the thin cushion. His thumb slipped down and he circled around your asshole. You shook your head but before you could protest, he forced his finger inside.

You whimpered at the strain in your ass he pulled his thumb in and out roughly in time with his cock. It sent a peculiar ripple through your body; added to the strokes of his cock against your walls. You trembled at the sudden flurry of nerves in your pelvis.

“See, you fucking like it,” He hissed. “You can fight me all you want, but you’ll never win.” His words were punctuated by harsh breaths and you body spasmed suddenly. “Uh-uh-uh, look at you. You’re cumming already.” He pounded into harder and kept his thumb inside you. “You like it in the ass, don’t you?”

He removed his thumb and bent over you. He thrust you into the mattress and turned your head. He held your chin in place as his hot breath singed your cheek, his lips pressed to your skin.

“Hmm? You want me dick in your ass?” He growled.

“N-n-”

His palm smothered your protest and he pulled out of you. He slid his cock back along your ass and you wiggled beneath him. You tried to bite his hand but he merely pressed it tighter. He reached down to pushed himself against your tight hole and you cried out into his hand.

Your eyes went wide as he shoved himself inside. He groaned in delight as he entered you slowly. Tears rose in your vision and your entire body buzzed with pain as he forced his way in. You kicked your legs against his as he impaled you completely.

He moved carefully. Savoured the stretch of you around him. You went limp as the pain was too much. He uncovered your mouth and rested his forehead against your temple. He shoved his hand beneath you and squeezed your tit as his hips rocked against you.

“You’re a fucking mess,” He whispered. “I can feel your blood all over me.”

His pace picked up a little at a time. You closed your eyes in shame. You bit down as the agony tore through you. Your voice rose as his hips jerked into you harder and harder. You whined in pain as he fucked your ass without restraint.

He pushed himself up, his hand on your shoulders as he chased his climax. His grunts were sultry and hypnotic against the shrill anguish of your own. He grabbed the back of your head and shoved it into the mattress as his thrusts grew uneven. He roared as he came and rode out his high.

You were left shaking beneath him as he sat back on his knees. He stayed inside of you and his cock twitched. You tried to wriggle away but it only added to the strain. His fingers wrapped around your waist and he began to move again.

You bit your lip and held your breath as it started again. The shock, the pain, the humiliation. You would not break. Not for him. He would not win. You wouldn’t let him. The great Captain America had lost before and he could again.

[grayswhore]

Dilemma: Part 1

Summary: You make the awful decision to sleep with your boyfriend's twin brother and that results in you getting pregnant. 

A/N: To all my fellow Grayson girls, I'm so sorry! But I just had to make Grayson the bad guy in this story. You guys wanted soap opera drama, and I'm gonna deliver! I decided to break this up into different parts because I'm in the process of moving and I don't have a lot of time to write a whole long ass fic, but I really wanted to get this done for y'all, I'm not sure how many parts it'll be tho, lol. I'm sorry this part is so short.

Warning: Mentions if abortions

You looked at the way the color drained from Grayson's face as the two words left your mouth. "I'm pregnant."  A pit in your stomach formed as well when the words hit your ears. This was the first time you've ever said it out loud, suddenly you realized this was happening. You were pregnant with Grayson's baby. Grayson had a special way with kids, it was like they gravitated to him, and he loved kids too. You could tell he'd be a great father and having his child should've made you happy. Even though you were pretty young this news shouldn't be as bad as it was, and you should've been a little happy to be having a baby with your boyfriend. The only problem was Grayson wasn't your boyfriend, Ethan was.  

"Grayson say something, please." Grayson's eyes locked with yours and you hoped he'd be his usual sweet self and say something calming and reassuring like he always did. 

"Get rid of it." The words were so cold and monotone as they left his lips. It was so out of character for him that you were sure you heard him wrong. "What?" You replied. Grayson took a deep breath before blurting out the words again. "Get rid of it Y/n." You flinched at the harsh tone in his voice. You stood in disbelief in front of the boy who you thought was your best friend, and even though you were with his brother you couldn't deny the strong feelings you were developing for him. "Grayson, what the hell? Why are you acting like this." Grayson was one the most wholesome and caring guys you ever knew besides Ethan, but it was like a switch flipped in his brain and he was a completely different guy. You hardly recognized the cold glare he was giving you. 

Grayson inched in closer to you. "Why am I acting like this? Y/n, your my brother's girlfriend. Yes, you're my best friend and I love you, but not enough to ruin my relationship with my brother. Do you know what would happen if he found out not only did I fuck you, but I got you pregnant? He'd never speak to either of us again. Do you want that to happen? Do you want Ethan to never speak to you again?" Obviously, you knew the consequences of your actions. You never meant for this to happen. You loved Ethan with all of your heart. You should've never let your feelings for Grayson get in the way of that. Ethan was already so insecure about himself and now this would only ruin him even more. But you could never imagine aborting your baby. How could Grayson even say something like that.

"Listen, I don't mean to be a dick, I'm just being honest. You're a beautiful girl y/n, and I let my hormones get the best of me, I only wanted to fuck you, that's it. I don't love you more than just a friend, and I'm sorry I led you on. But I'm not going to let you ruin the bond I have with Ethan. So you're going to get rid of that baby, and then we'll never speak of this again and then we can go back to how things were."  He turned around and found his way out of your apartment without another word. 

[avengers-nextgen]

The Aftermath VII

Chloe had finally been released from the hospital once everyone was certain her condition was stable, but there were consequences for being hit by such a large amount of electricity . There would be times severe chest pain surfaced, if she overworked there was a chance her heart could give out, and too much emotional stress would very well leave her feeling clammy, sweaty, and like her heart was on steroids. As a result, it became more important than ever to keep up on her anxiety medication. To the point that Stephen set an alarm for her worried she’d forget or stubbornly refuse to take the medication.

None of this mattered much to her. She was set on one thing and one thing only. That was telling everyone what she’d seen, the messages she’d kept, and the people she’d met.

Still a bit stiff from spending so much time in bed, Chloe tracked down the one person who needed closure as much as she had. She found Nathaniel relaxing by the edge of the pool with crumby 80s music playing faintly from the speakers.

“Arthur?”

“Chloe,” she replied, as he sat up.

“Well, I was half right,” he grinned, “your brother was supposed to chill out here with me but maybe he’s not feeling up to it today. What’s that one word...Dino-Dishsoap-Diabetes-“

“Dysphoria?” Chloe arched a brow.

“Yes! That,” Nathaniel nodded.

“Dish soap?”

“I was trying to get there,” Nathaniel shrugged. “So, what brings you out to this wonderful lagoon?”

“Well, as much as I love your humor it’s actually a rather...serious topic,” Chloe replied.

“Oh,” Nathaniel nodded, “Uh, would you want to take it elsewhere?”

“No, the weather is actually quite nice,” Chloe smiled thinly, tucking her hands into her pockets. Pressing her lips into a thin line she hesitantly sat beside Nathaniel half expecting him to shove her into the water. He had a habit of doing that to people.

“Is it about the argument we had?” Nathaniel winced, “because you’re right. I was being a jerk and hypocritical with Killian-“

“It’s not that. I’m over that. I was being dumb too. Tensions were high,” Chloe assured, waving away his concern. “I actually wanted to talk about my time in the medical wing. When I was dying something strange happened-“

“You flatlined twice,” Nathaniel recalled.

“T-twice?” That was news to Chloe.

“Nearly three,” Nathaniel nodded, “Arthur could barely stand it.”

A moment of silence settled between them as Nathaniel let his feet slide into the water sending ripples about the pool.

“Listen, do you promise to believe me if I tell you this?”

“That depends,” Nathaniel sighed, “on what you’re doing to tell me.”

“Will you at least hear me out until I finish?” Chloe worried.

“Yes, I’ll always listen to people. Everyone deserves that much,” Nathaniel snorted.

“Okay,” sighing, Chloe ran a hand through her hair. “When I was in the medical wing I went somewhere. I’m not sure where exactly but I saw a lot of people. Really cool, unique, and kind people, but they weren’t just anyone. They all had connections to people here.”

“How so?” Nathaniel asked, slowly swishing his legs in the water.

“Well, I saw Pietro,” Chloe explained.

The name immediately drew Nathaniel’s attention. “But he’s dead.”

“Yeah,” Chloe nodded, seeing a faint glimmer of understanding in Nathaniel’s eyes. “I saw Enzo’s mom, Sage’s too, Bean-Enzo’s dog, Scout’s sister-“

“He has a sister?” Nathaniel stammered.

“Y-yes,” Chloe nodded. “He’s a twin. She just passed away before they were born. No one knows. Scout only found out recently I think.”

“Damn,” Nathaniel shook his head in disbelief.

“There’s more,” Chloe continued, “there was Ethan and Ellie too. Everyone was in this house having a wonderful time together but they were sad. It’s like they couldn’t move on. Not because they hadn’t accepted death but because of us. Because we were still clinging to them. So, I asked them to tell me what they’d say to their loved ones.”

“Are you sure this wasn’t some dream, Chloe?” Nathaniel’s brow furrowed in contemplation.

“It wasn’t, I can’t quite explain how I know it’s wasn’t but...it felt real. Like I was there. Like I would have joined them if I hadn’t come back to life. That I’d be stuck there too,” Chloe shivered recalling the odd emptiness of the world around them in that moment. She couldn’t imagine being there forever. “I saw Ellie, like I said, and she’s very pretty. I can see why you like her.”

“Thank you,” Nathaniel laughed quietly.

“She wanted me to tell you something. You can believe what I’m saying or not but I promised to relay the message... so here it goes,” sighing Chloe thought for a moment before continuing, “You shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened. Even though you say you don’t, you still have guilt, and it was never your responsibility to fix her disease. You have every right to let go and move on. You’re kind, caring, nurturing, and you shouldn’t sacrifice your future because of a death. You deserve to have a family if you want one and a life of your own. But most importantly, Ellie loves you, and she’s flattered by the butterfly garden.”

“She said all that?”

“Yes,” Chloe nodded, fiddling nervously with her fingers, “I thought you ought to know. That’s all, really, you can go back to whatever it was you were doing.”

“Wait,” before Chloe could hurry off, Nathaniel caught her arm, “Thank you. I needed that. I guess no matter how many times I told myself I was okay with what happened-I was just lying to myself. I’m glad she’s okay and I’m glad she has company.”

“Of course,” Chloe smiled faintly. “I made Ethan promise to keep an eye on her. You can count on him.”

“I know,” Nathaniel assured. “But, how did you know it was Ellie?”

“The way you talked about her. I’ve never really known what she looks like, but...well, have you ever been able to look at someone and know who they are? Like, you can just tell they’re someone with a big heart who has nothing but kindness in them? Or someone you know is spirited, fun, and friendly?”

“Yeah,” Nathaniel nodded, letting his hand drop from her arm.

“It was kind of like that,” Chloe smiled. Nathaniel nodded, before sliding into the pool until he was completely submerged. Chloe lingered for a moment before standing and heading toward the door.

“Hey,” Nathaniel called drawing her attention once more. He looked like he was coated in a thin layer of liquid silver from beneath the moonlight. Almost ghost like. “It’s good to see you smiling.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Nathaniel nodded.

Smiling to herself, Chloe headed back inside glad she’d managed to find him.

[summernitedream-blog]

Julian(Autumn+Wes)Choices Stories of a Complicated Love

It was a normal day at Julian’s house, his sister hope was trying to get him out of bed and sadly it took a couple of minutes to drag the tall jock out from his covers. It annoyed Julian because there was no other comfort to be in, at least that was what he thought till the unfortunate breakup he had with his old girlfriend Autumn.

“Wake up! You’re going to be late for school”, Hope furrowed her brows and pulled on her brother’s arm. Julian laid on his side and tried to ignore hope’s ‘whining’. Hope started to get tired of her brother’s laziness but she suddenly had an idea. “Don’t tell me you forgot you had football practice today?!”, it was not loud till Julian woke himself up and literally jumped out from his bed. “Oh man, not again!”, Julian reached for his clothes but stopped when he checked the date on his phone. “Hope, it’s Saturday”, he frowned at the sight of Hope laughing. “Sorry, but mom wants you to eat breakfast. She’ll get mad if you keep hibernating like a bear”, and before Hope left her brother’s room she noticed a stuffed duck plushie on his desk. “Um, Julian...why do you still have this?”, Hope’s concern made Julian feel somewhat guilty. He was never good at being open with his feelings and he was not sure if he wanted to at the moment.

“Oh, uh, I was planning on throwing it out. But I sorta forgot...”, Julian grabbed the toy from his sister’s hands and shoved it into one of his shelves. Hope knew what that toy really meant to Julian. It was the first gift he gave to Autumn when they decided to be official. But, since the breakup Julian was more reserved and kept to himself about what happened on that day. “I’m worried about you Julian. You won’t talk to me and It really hurts me to see you like this”, that alone made Julian sulk. He did not mean to cause his baby sister so much worry, he just forgot to throw it away or did he hope that keeping it would somehow change things? “Hope, I, well...”, Julian exhaled a sigh as he sat on his bed. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you about it. I just need time”, he was exhausted not psychically but just frustrated at how he was tired of being tired. 

Hope understood what heartbreak was like. After all, it was long ago that she went through it with Asher and had Julian and MC by her side. “I wonder what MC would say if he/she was still here and not in Hollywood”, Hope sat herself next to Julian and she could see a smile start to form on Julian’s face. “He/she would probably want to start a fire in our backyard and burn everything”, he felt lonely at how one of his really close friends was not here enjoying the last year of high school with him and everyone else. He/she did build the school and bring everyone together. If there was one person he did not want to tell about the breakup, it would be him/her. Julian did not want to disappoint him/her and felt that since he/she left Oliver High, nothing has been the same. The sad part was he felt as if he was the only one who has not changed. “Maybe give him/her a call?”, Hope placed her hand on her brother’s shoulder for comfort before getting up to go downstairs for breakfast. 

Julian glanced at his phone and grabbed it. He looked at it unsure of what you would think of him if he told you what happened in the past couple of months. Unknowingly he already dialed the number and waited as he heard ringing. Julian was about to hang up from the internal panic attack he was having until he heard a familiar voice. “Julian?”, it was *insert your name here*. “Oh, hi!”, Julian mentally slapped himself as he felt an awkward conversation was about to start. “How are you? It’s been so long! How is everyone?”, you said in a excited tone. Julian smiled, he missed that voice. He missed hearing you. “I’m uh, I’m good. Everyone’s good. How is Hollywood?”, he pictured you living the exotic and flashy life that he imagined everyone who lived in Hollywood was having on the daily basis. “Tiring, but fun. Ethan has me doing some work for a big movie we’re trying to get on screen. Our lovely professor Hunt has it out to get me too. But to be honest, I really miss hanging out with you, Autumn and Payton and all of our other friends”, Julian felt relieved that he was not the only one who was missing the good old days. “Yeah...we all miss you too. I miss you”, it was cheesy but it was the truth. He could hear you laughing from the other end.

“Julian, how is everything going? I haven’t heard from you in forever. I hope Autumn isn’t keeping you all to herself now. I’d like to have my best friend call me and make me watch the notebook and talk about how cute I am when I get mad”, you joked trying to mock the cliche couples that the media portrayed on the news. However, you suddenly felt worried when you heard silence from Julian’s side. “Julian?”, did you go too far? You wondered if something had happened and perhaps that was why he called you. “Did something happen?”, you asked and waited for what seems like forever when Julian finally answered back. “...Yeah. A lot happened”, he could not help but to feel like a child that was seeking comfort from his parents. “Autumn and I we sorta had a falling out. We just kept arguing back and forth. She wanted me to spend more time with her but I got so caught up with trying to get a good scholarship and get recommendations from the college coaches that I lost sight of our relationship and she...she broke it off with me”, he remained silent for a second before he continued. “Now she’s with Wes and I’m trying really hard to let her go but I can’t. Everything reminds me of her and I don’t know how to handle it. I tried to avoid her but we made a promise to still be friends when we broke it off because she thought it would be for the best”, Julian waited for a response and wondered if he was being silly with all this soap opera drama that he was currently living in.

“Julian, aren’t you spoiling her a bit too much?”, that made Julian’s eyes widen. He was not expecting that response. “Julian, I’ve known you ever since we built our school in that empty parking lot. I know how important your dreams are and I’m sure Autumn knows that too. You’ve always been so protective of those you care about and you never put your own needs before others. That is just how you are and I think Autumn knew it would be wrong to hold you back from something you want and she probably felt that maybe she could not give you what you wanted to get to that goal. This might not make sense right now, but you guys are in high school and anything can change. I’m sure that even if Autumn is with Wes at the moment, what she had with you won’t change. She said that she wants to keep being your friend, doesn’t that mean she still wants you in her life?”, you asked. Julian remained silent because he felt that you were right about some things.

Julian knew that the future held a lot of possibilities for him and for Autumn. He knew how much love he had for Autumn but he also held some resentment. He had to admit that even though he was glad to still have Autumn as a friend, it still hurt him inside. Julian still questioned whether being Autumn’s friend was something that could help him deal with the breakup or not. In all honesty, he was not sure if he even wanted to get over Autumn in the first place. He missed being with her and the fact that when he loved someone, he would love that person with so much passion that he too wondered if he ended up giving too much for too little. “Yeah, I get it. I should be more greedy, huh?”, he finally understood. He never wanted anyone more then Autumn, so he decided. “I think I get it now. I was trying so hard to get over Autumn because I thought it would be for the best and that just being her friend and being there for her would be enough. But, I still love her and I want to be with her. So, starting tomorrow I’ll stop acting like a friend because I need her to understand that I can’t get over her just yet and maybe, just maybe I’ll get a second shot”, he smiled confidently. You unknowingly mirrored a smile in return. 

“You know Julian, I think you’ve gotten more manly since I left for college”, you said. Julian chuckled, getting up to check himself in the mirror. “I don’t know about that. I haven’t changed much with my look”, he was being honest with that. You rolled your eyes. “Hey! I’ll be the judge of that by the time I come over and hopefully visit over the summer. I’m sure Payton would love to see you in a suit that Addison has been working on”, you gleefully said. “*insert name here*, you’re needed on set!”, Julian could hear Ethan from the back. “Looks like I have to go. But Julian, one more thing before I go. Just know that I’ve always believed in you and I’ll still be rooting for you all the way”, Julian took a while to process that before he realized that he was getting teary eyed. “Thank you....*insert name here*”, and with that the call ended.

Julian walked towards the shelf that held the duck plushie and held it in his hands. He knew some things changed and some things stayed the same and that was fine with him. He still felt strongly for Autumn, but he did not want to keep those feelings from letting him have fun too. Even if she was with Wes now, Julian knew it would be okay to focus on himself for now. As long as he had his friends by his side and as long as he knew it was okay to feel this way, he knew everything was going to be alright. 

Note: None of the characters are mine. They belong to pixelberry and I felt like writing some angst because why not.

[fanficksandimagines]

“Sleepy head”- E.D.

A/N: when I started writing this one it was supposed to end within less than 500 words and was supposed to be only about lips (You’ll get what I’m talking about), but then I got another idea, and another one, and maybe like 5 other ideas as well. I really hope you’ll enjoy it because It took me over 5 hours to write and it’s 1am right now. I’ll read it over for mistakes tomorrow so bear with me please.

Word count: 4012

Ethan Dolan Imagine. 

(Arts and creations. Painting and photograph skills)

Warnings: noun.

Quote of the imagine:

 “ I was swimming in the purple clouds while the sun was setting.”

-With love Sammy

History class is always boring. I was scribbling some random doddles on the side of my note book. The lessons seemed to go on for hours. Miss Rosewoods talking about the American Revolution and founding fathers, a topic I knew better than anything from historical events. She kept talking and talking. Her voice calm and pretty quiet for a teacher, whenever she was talking it seemed like she was telling you a bed time story. Trying to get you to sleep. The grey dull sky outside wasn’t lighting up the situation either. I let out a yawn screeching my arms slightly. I turned my head to the side to look out of the window, just to see my crush, Ethan, sound asleep in his spot. He looked adorable and calm. His face looked as beautiful as ever. We sat at the very back of the class so I wasn’t scared that someone would see me looking at him. I let my gaze fall across his face, taking the moment I had to observe him this close. I’ve had a crush on this guy for almost 3 years and I still examine every detail of his face. “Now please write down the following years!” The teachers’ voice snapped me out of my daydream. “1775; 1776; 1777; ...” and she went on about it. I took notes for the next 5 minutes or so and then turned back to looking at Ethan. For some unexplained reason I couldn’t take my eyes off of his lips. They looked soft and kissable. Suddenly I turned my head back to my desk and put my pen away in my pencil case. I searched for my 9B pencil and took my small sketch book out of my bag. I turned my body slightly to the side. I looked at Ethan once again concentrating on his lips. I started drawing the contour of his lips just to take my eraser and erase it. I then looked at him once again and slowly traced the shape of his upper lip on the paper. It wasn’t easy to draw it as I wanted it. I tried again… and again… and again until it looked as close to being true as I could get it to. I took another glimpse of Ethan and started to draw the bottom lip, slowly dragging the pencil over the paper. I kept drawing his lips in my sketch book, adding texture and shadow. I wanted lean closer but I couldn’t. I kept catching glimpses, trying to shape Ethans lips as good as I could. I was so into the process that I couldn’t hear anything around me. The only sounds reaching my ears were the pencil scratching against the paper and Ethans’ soft snores.

“Ah-hem.” I heard Miss Rosewoods say standing next to me. I lifted my head up from my sketch book to look at her. “This is history class, not arts class.” She said her hands on her sides. “I know. My concentration works better when I’m drawing.” I defended myself hoping that she won’t ask me to prove it. “Really?” oh no. “In that case, who was the 1st treasury secretary of the united states?” she asked her voice clearly mocking me. “Hamilton.” I say simply. She looked slightly taken back. “Also, before he became the treasury secretary, he was a part of Hearts of Oak and studied military tactics. He fought in the revolutionary war. I heard everything you said Miss Rosewoods.” I said finishing my sentence with a smirk. “Alright.” She said defeated, turning to the side. “And Ethan is sleeping again.” She said more to herself. “Okay, back to the lesson!” She announced loudly and walked back to the front of the class. I checked the time, 15 more minutes till the lesson ends. Ugh. I turned my head to the side again glancing at Ethan who was still sleeping. I looked back at my drawing adding some more curves to his lips, making some lines darker and blending some other parts. Sooner than I thought the bell rang. Everyone started standing up and leaving the class. I gathered my book and notes and put them in my bag, my sketch book still opened on the table. I was putting my pencils back in the case when I noticed someone standing next to my table. I looked up to see Ethan, with the left side of his face a bit red from sleeping. He was looking at my drawing. “That’s awesome, Y/n. You have some mad skills.” He commented, making my cheeks flush rose pink. “Uh, thank you.” Those are your lips, by the way. Good to know that you like the drawing. I’ll go jump off of a cliff now, okay? Great, bye. “I actually wanted to ask you for help…” He started trailing off. I took my sketch book and put it in my bag closed. I pulled the zipper shut and stood up from my seat. “Wanted to ask what?” I felt my heartbeat quickening as I questioned. “We have math next right?” he asked letting me walk in front of him. I nodded while walking out of the class. We had the same schedule, so we were together in all of our classes. “I wanted to ask for a favor.” He kept talking as we walked through the hallway to our next class. “And that would be..?” I asked intrigued. “It’s for art class.” He started seemingly nervous. “Remember we had to pick out these pieces of paper that Mr. Kolinsky had prepared?” he asked. “Yeah, we had to pick the team of our next art work.” I remembered, mentally making a note to start working on it soon. “Yeah, those. I was wondering… uh… would you mind posing for my work?” he asked and I swear to god the whole world stopped, the sun wasn’t burning, the water on Uranus disappeared, the squirrel in Ice age movies suddenly got lucky, Snoop dog wasn’t high and the lost city of Atlantis wasn’t under the ocean, but up in the skies somewhere between clouds. Most importantly, my heart seemed to stop for a moment and forget about the butterfly feeling, the goddamn zoo was having a party in my stomach. “It’s just- I just have to draw a surreal work with a female as the main creation of the work and the other girls in our class are mean and I couldn’t really think of anyone else to ask, because drawing my sister would be weird for the idea and I- I. I mean if you don’t want to it’s completely fine. I’ll try to find someone else.” He rambled clearly nervous scratching the back of his neck. The air surrounding us was filled with tension, as I couldn’t manage to get out a word. On the inside I was screaming and jumping out of joy. I was swimming in purple clouds while the sun was setting. “So… uh…” he spells out. I snap out of my daydream quickly forcing my vocal cord to start working. “Yeah, sure. I’m down.” I speak. “Great.” He voices letting out a breath. We restart our walk to the math class. “So do you already have an idea for the work?” I question still feeling the hurricane of emotions. “Yeah. I just hope you’ll be okay with it.” Ethan let out a chuckle. “You might not know this about me, but I’m down for a lot of crazy things so I think it’ll be fine.” I informed him smiling proudly to myself, he turned his head to me and I could see his beautiful lips form a smile. While making our way down the crowded hallways we agreed to meet up on Saturday for his project. He also gave me his phone number so I could send in some suggestions on what I could wear, since his idea was specific. He resisted on informing me about the details, only explaining that we’ll be in the forest outside of the city. He was going to take photos of me that he would use as references for his finished project. Honestly I couldn’t believe I’ll be spending a whole day with just my crush.

That Sunday morning I woke up before my alarm even went off. A huge smile across face, as the sunlight was making its way through my window. I got out of my bed opening my laptop and turning it on. While it was loading I made my bed. I opened up Spotify and clicked play on my favorite playlist that I had made for myself. I took a pair of white underwear with me and walked in the bathroom. Turning the shower on I took off my pajamas and stepped under the warm running water. I let it run down my skin as I washed my hair. I rubbed the sopped up body spam slide across my slightly tanned skin leaving a trail of bubbles. I rinsed my hair and washed off the soap. Stepping out of the warmth my skin was introduced with the cold air of the bathroom as I wrapped myself in my towel. I walked back to my room humming to the song that was playing. I took my phone and checked for messages. Ethan had sent me a text. ‘I’ll pick you up at 11. Is that okay?’ it read. It was 9am so I had plenty of time to get ready keeping in mind that I never take long. ’11 it is.’ I sent back the corners of my lips pulling on a smile. I dried my hair, leaving it naturally straight as Ethan had asked. Packing spare clothing in my backpack, I danced around the room. Skipping down the stairs and in to the kitchen where mom was serving chocolate pancakes. “Someone is in a good mood this morning.” She said her face shining, reflecting my happiness like a mirror. “I’m helping out Ethan with his art project today. I already told you about it.” I reminded taking a bite. “Ethan, as in a guy named Ethan?” Dad looked up from his plate. “Yes.” I stated and he just looked in my eyes. Seeing my uplifting mood, he just shrugged and went back to eating his breakfast. After I finished my plate, I placed it in the dishwasher. Walking over to my mother I placed my hands on her shoulders. “You’ll have to help me with my dress.” I warned placing a kiss on her cheek and running back to my room. I put on a light make up, just like every day. I only used my foundation, brow pencil, eyeliner and mascara. Ethan asked to keep it simple, so I did. Mom came in my room after knocking. She helped with my blue flowy dress. It was really light shade of blue; in some lights it seemed even white. Mom tied the strings on the back as I smoothed the fabric with my hands. “You need to bring out your lips. Just a little.” She commented after looking at me for a moment. She walked in the bathroom and looked through my lipsticks taking one that was a pastel rose color. She came back in the room and gave it to me. I applied the lipstick completing the look. “Thanks mom.” I smiled at her and heard my phones notification signal going off. ‘I’m here.’ Ethans’ text read.

As we were driving to the spot he had in mind there was music playing in his car. Comfortable silence surrounding us. “I really like that dress.” He complimented taking a quick glance of me. “You were the one to choose it.” I reminded. “I know,” he chuckled,” but it really suits you.” I blushed slightly, smiling. When we finally arrived in the forest I looked around the area, it was really beautiful and quiet. No sound of cars driving by, only birds singing and somewhere further away, water bubbling. “How did you find this place?” I wondered looking around the trees. “Oh, this is not it. We’ll have to walk for like 5 minutes tops to be there.” He explained locking his car “Let’s go?” I nodded in response and followed his steps. “I kind of have the whole thing already planned out, but if you brainstorm some ideas just shoot it, we can make it all work.” Ethan announced keeping his eyes forwards. ”Alright.” I said holding the skirt up a little to not rip the dress. It took us less than 5 minutes to walk out of a forest to small clearing. The view in front of us was breath taking. Surreal even. There was an edge of a cliff in front of us a big rock placed close to it. Over the edge, you could see a water fall that came out of a hill falling down the height and hugging the rocks at the bottom, on the other side of the ally where the water went, the forest continued. I left my backpack by the trees walking closer to the clifs. “I hope you’re not scared of heights.” His voice echoed against the cliffs. “No.” I breathed still mesmerized by the view I was seeing. “Good. Cause I want you to sit on that rock.” He informed pointing at it. I walked over to it looking down. It was more than words could describe. “ How do you want me to sit?” I asked letting my eyes wonder around. “Just like this.” He said making me sit down with one leg resting on the rock bended in the knee and the other one straightened out touching the ground. The lifted leg peeking through the cut of the dress. “Now turn your body slightly, just like that.” He guided my body with his hands, turning my shoulder slightly more to the edge. He took one of my arms and placed it in my lap. Then he took my left arm and bended it, placing my fingers on my shoulder touching the edge of the dress. “Can you pull it ever so slightly so it looks like it’s being pulled but it’s not?” he asked and somehow I understood what he meant. His face was so lose to mine, I could examine his lips better than ever. “Good.” He whispered smiling. “Now turn your head to the right.” He demanded nicely. I did as he asked but apparently he meant it a bit differently. He placed his rough fingers on my chin and pushed it slightly more to the right, so my face would be facing straight to his camera that was placed on a tripod. “Perfect.” Ethan mumbled. “Now just keep a resting facial expression.” He added walking to his camera. He took a few photos and checked them. After that he made me change the pose, making me sit with both of my legs resting on the rock, uncovered from the lightly colored fabric. “Take off your shoes though.” He mentioned and I took them off throwing them to the side. My upper body was now facing the same way my legs were and my face was turned to the sky. Later we walked into the forest; there was a hidden field of wild violets. Obviously, Ethan made me lie in them. I was laying on my back, he fixed my hair and stood above me. Taking pictures only with my upper body being in frame. We talked through the photoshoot, making small talk here and there. When the day had half passed and we were already comfortable with each other’s company we talked about anything that came up in our minds, sharing secrets other didn’t even know and laughing about each other’s unfortunate stupid mistakes.

As the sun was slowly starting to set we had made our way to another side of the forest, next to a river that not too far away from us connected with a lake. “I have an idea.” I said taking my backpack off of my shoulders and checking it. “What are you searching for?” he asked confused. I checked if I had taken my spare clothing. I had a sweater and a pair of leggings with me. “We can take some photos of me in the water.” I suggested looking at the river. “Are you sure? I mean I don’t want you to get sick because of my art project.” He hesitated scanning the river and then me with his eyes. “Beauty is pain. I’ll deal with it.” I reassured smiling and walking to the river leaving my shoes by my bag. “It shouldn’t be.” I heard him disagree. I stepped in the surprisingly warm water and walked in until it was reaching the middle of my hip. I turned to the side already knowing how to pose. Ethan took the pictures as I kept moving slowly and posing. “Do you mind if I take the dress off?” I asked, I mean as he earlier implied, today was more of a photoshoot for me, meaning that most of the photos will be sent to me and one kept to him as a reference. “I mean it’s the same as a swim suit anyways.” I tried to insure that it would be normal in my opinion. “Sure. As long as you’re not getting naked, I’m fine with it.” He said checking the previous photos. I walked out of the water and took my dress off. “I’m pretty sure you won’t mind me being naked.” I joked walking back in the water, now deeper. It was reaching my abdomen. “You’re right, I wouldn’t, but taking pictures of that could get me in trouble, he kept the joke going. I let out a lough and stared posing again, now my body only covered in a white lace bra and underwear. I played with the water splashing it around. Ethan kept capturing the moments, with a smile on his face. Since the sunset was starting to play with the sky and the lake mirrored it we made our way there. I walked back in the water now in the lake and started posing again; Ethan took off his shoes and rolled up his jeans. He walked in the water to take some more pictures. After a while understanding that the sun is almost gone I let my knees bend and went under water. “Jeez. You scared me.” Ethan shouted as I came back up. “That was the point sleepy boy.” I laughed as I swam towards him and stood up.

That night before he drove me home we went to a pizza place to eat. It was the best day ever. On Monday, after the lessons he gave me a CD. “Here are the photos. I hope you like them, I barely edited anything. There’s a lot of good stuff.” He informed handing it to me. “Thanks.” I smiled. It was safe to say that we became closer after that.

“Okay, so a month ago you all had to pick a mystery team for your art project. Finally all of you gave the works in before the last due date.” The teacher stated. “Thank you all for that. Some of the works are incredible, and I would like to applaud to Ethan specially this time. His work is truly amazing.” Mr. Kolinsky said and everyone applauded. No one had seen our works yet. We had to give them in before showing to anyone because the school was making a special event for it. Our works would be displayed in the local museum tonight. “Remember to come to the museum tonight to see your own works and appreciate the other works as well.

“What was your project about again?” I questioned Ethan as we were standing in the crowd of more than 20 students of our class and school that were involved in the project. “You’ll see. What was yours about?” he questioned back. “I had a “view of my dreams” to paint.” I smiled remembering my painting. “Oh, interesting.” He smiled back at me. We stood quietly as our teacher and principal did their talk telling everyone who had come to see how proud they were of us. “Well without any further hesitation, we welcome you to enjoy our student greatest works.” The principal smiled and people applauded.

I walked with Ethan by my side through the display hall. Seeing our classmate works, inspecting them and reading the titles and short explanations on what was the team of their projects. As I was lingering on a work by one of the girls I knew, Ethan had made his way to the next work. “Ou. A work by Y/n  y/l/n. “Only galaxies on my mind.”. The team of my project was to paint a view of my dreams. Here it is. My dream would be to hide in the hills with someone special, finding a waterfall and experiencing the millions of starts burning and lighting up the beautiful night sky.” He read out loud. I turned to him cringing ever so slightly. “Breathtaking.” He commented exploring the work with his eyes. “I could’ve done better.” I stood next to him criticizing. “Well, then next time this museum will be filled with only your paintings.” He added. “I want to see your work.” I whined changing the topic. I walked past him, taking his hand and dragging him through the hall. “What was the team?” I questioned as he made me stop. “It’s not important. Wait.” He said turning me so my back would be to him. He covered my eyes with his hands and guided me through the hall. “People are watching and thinking that we’re weird.” He giggled still holding his hands in front of my face. I laughed with him as we came to a stop. He uncovered my eyes. As I saw the painting my breath was taken away and left on the moon. He had painted the first picture he took. I had seen it before. Only the painting had some additional parts. Ethan had painted huge angel wings to my back and the light sunny sky from that day was replaced by a beautiful night sky with the moon shining. It looked so real, like a high quality picture, but my eyes took notice of the perplexed brush strokes and texture of the paint left on the canvas. My eyes slid over the painting multiple times before finally going to the annotation. “The angel that rules over heart.” Was the name of the painting. ”Created by Ethan Grant Dolan. The team of my project was to paint someone who I adore as a surreal creature, so I simply painted the girl I think is the most beautiful one in the world.”  I read the short annotation loudly, just like Ethan read mine. Only after reading it I realized what it meant. “I had to paint someone I adore as a surreal being.” He let the words slip out of his mouth freely as if he wasn’t in control of his lips anymore. I swear my heart had ripped through my skin and traveled to pluton and back by now. I turned to face Ethan. “Also, I wasn’t asleep in that history class. I pretended I was. I know that, that drawing I saw on your desk that day… those were my lips, right?” he asked looking in my eyes as I was already drowning in his hazel ones. “Yes.” I managed to get out. “You seemed to be struggling with that drawing.” He said taking a step closer. “Maybe I need to feel them, to draw them better.” The sudden confidence growing in my veins as my blood was racing. “There’s nothing holding you back.” he smirked taking another step closer to me, our faces incredibly close. I leaned in and as he mirrored my actions, our his soft plump lips touched mine and I swear I was swimming in the purple clouds while the sun was setting.

[whyarethedolanssoattractive]

I Will Not Ask - Grayson Dolan Imagine (One of two)

Song: Like Real People Do

Artist: Hozier

Requested: “Grayson and the song Like Real People Do by Hozier. I love it so much and it would make such a cure imagine :)”

Warnings: Mentions of death

A/N: Okay, so this one focused more on the verses but I will write another one that will focus more on the chorus :) I hope this wasn’t too shitty...

When I woke up, something felt off. I couldn’t place it, but something just. . . wasn’t right. I tried to push the thoughts out of my head, but wasn’t so successful. 

After convincing myself everything was fine, I slid out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Grayson was washing his hands off and cursing quietly. He put more soap on his hands and scrubbed them a little more. 

“Gray? What’s up?” I walked over to him and stood beside him. He angled his back towards me so I couldn’t really see his hands.

He shook his head and cleared his throat. “Nothing. Everything’s fine. Um, yeah, no, just uh. . . Go back to bed.” He kept scrubbing at his hands.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s ten in the morning. What’s going on?”

“Nothing! Alright?” He turned to me but kept his hands in the sink. I managed to steal a glimpse at them and saw what looked like dirt and mud staining his skin. 

“Fine.” I shrugged and went to the couch. His shoes were sitting in front of the coffee table. There was a small flower stuck in the grooves of the sole on one of them. I had to wonder what he had been doing to get a flower stuck in his shoe.

Something was wrong. I could tell by his shaky breaths and the cursing. How he wasn’t up-front with me. I didn’t want to intrude, but I wanted to help.

So I texted the on person who would know what was up.

iMessage to: ETHANATOR

Hey do u know what’s wrong with gray? He came in and started washing dirt/mud off of his hands and theres a flower stuck to his shoe...

I glanced over at Grayson. He took a deep breath and sighed before he got a towel and wiped his hands off. He shook his head and popped his neck, then walked straight to our bedroom without another word.

iMessage from: ETHANATOR

No idea... he’ll tell u tho if he needs to

“Thanks for the help, E.” I mumbled quietly. I stood up off of the couch and walked to the bedroom. 

Grayson was sitting on the bed, facing the window. His head was in his hands and his back was rising and falling at an unsteady pace. He was crying.

I walked further into the room and sat beside him, wrapping my arms around him. He clutched onto my sleeve and put his head against me. 

“Grayson, I won’t ask again, but I need to know if you’re okay at least.”

He let go of me and took a deep breath, then wiped his eyes. “I. . . I will be.” He nodded his head and smiled vaguely.

I rubbed his back. “Can I help you?”

“No. I mean, maybe. I don’t know.” He sighed and shook his head. “I was, uh, I was at the cemetery just now.” He let out a breath that rattled his lips. “When Ethan and I first moved out here, I met a man named Jerry at this place where we got one of our cameras. Ethan wasn’t with me. Um, anyways, I told him about what we were trying to do out here and he just. . . got it. He gave me advice and told me to call him whenever. I kept in touch with him pretty well, we talked pretty frequently and he was one of the main reasons Ethan and I didn’t stop and go home.” He licked the inside of his lip, then took another shaky breath. “I found out a little over a year ago that he had cancer, and today last year he passed away.” He gulped and sniffled, then wiped his eyes again. “He was what made me believe we could do it, and I was what made Ethan believe we could do it. I went to the park and dug up some flowers and then I went and sat out by his grave for a while and talked to him. I just. . . I can’t explain why I felt so close to him, I just did.”

I wrapped my arms back around him and hushed him. Silent sobs escaped him as I rubbed his back and kissed his cheek. “It’s okay, Grayson.”

He wiped his eyes and faced me head-on before he pressed a long, desperate kiss to my lips. “I wish death wasn’t so. . . permanent.” He mumbled quietly.

“I know, baby. It’s okay. It’s hard, I know it is.”

He kissed me again and held my face in his hands. “God, I hate this.” He laughed quietly and pressed his forehead to my own. “I hate it a lot.”

I smiled sadly and ran a hand through his hair. “I know, Gray. I know. I love you.”

He grinned just a tiny bit and gave me a fast kiss. “I love you, too.”

[apositivelifeaffirmingway]

I’ve been stewing on this for days now, biding my time and trying to sort out my feelings. It’s been rough and hard and painful and I know that things will never be the same for how I feel about this show, or Robert and Aaron as a couple. 

But, I think it’s time to let this out in as coherent a way as I can - and this isn’t even that coherent; this is my attempt to get it out of me so I can try to move past. Because it happened. So I gotta deal. 

This isn’t even everything I have in my head, I just can’t seem to organize all my thoughts about this - but it’s the broad strokes. I welcome civil discussion about any of it. I’m not active on this blog right now but I will see your messages and respond if anyone wants to keep talking about this.

I’ll start by saying I’m not done with the show. Yet. I’m waiting to see what might transpire. There are definite *things* that if they happen will cause me to tune out for some time (maybe forever), but I’m WAITING TO SEE.

As a lifetime viewer of soaps, I logically understand what the show thinks they’re doing, and in some ways I’ve started the journey towards acceptance that THIS was what they decided to do. But emotionally? I am completely compromised and my heart is destroyed. I hadn’t realized how much these two had seeped into my body and soul - how much I had put on them as a surrogate for my own non-existent happiness - until this complete and total trainwreck of an event occurred. If nothing else, last week has *cured* me of this show and of Robron. The show and the pairing are not the same anymore, and it won’t be the same for a long time (ever?)...and that’s probably a good thing for my own mental health if I’m honest. 

As for the actual *thing*...I find fault with ALL parties. I mean, aside from the asinine writing of the actual episodes (meaning FULL BLAME TO THE WRITER AND THE SHOW BUT SINCE THIS IS THE SHIT THEY GAVE US I HAVE TO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE SOMEHOW). 

No one comes out of this CLEAN or totally blameless.

I do blame Aaron a teeny tiny bit (like 0.05%) for not telling Robert about his torment inside; about the REAL reason he’s using. Not that it would have made a difference but maybe it would have? Communication. Sigh. (also? If Aaron hadn’t been in prison this wouldn’t have happened. I know that’s a completely and totally unfair statement to make, but it’s also true. A minuscule silver lining? What happened wasn’t about Aaron not being enough for Robert, or Robert having feelings for someone else...it’s all a byproduct of that stupid Kasim thing. Of Aaron (Robert’s moral compass) being absent, suffering on his own of course, and pushing Robert away because of his experiences. I mean, this is indicative of a highly unhealthy codependency from both parties but I think we were all aware that was the case. Regardless...at least the circumstances for this happening were this extreme? Yeah? ha...I need to seek out any little bit I can that might help me feel even slightly better about this shit.)

I blame Rebecca (about 25%) for taking advantage or Robert’s emotional state, and his physical state. Because she did. She overheard Adam say where Rob was - that he was upset. Then she got that vague text from him asking if she was around and she ran off. He didn’t ask her to come (that we saw onscreen, which is all that actually counts)...she stuffed her phone in her pocket and ran off to Mill because she knew he was there. (so in my mind, Rob wasn’t lying on Friday when he said to Chas that she just showed up). I also 100% do not buy into the fact that she didn’t know Robert was playing her. She knew he was drunk - REAL DRUNK. I don’t think she really believed his “we’re over” rant. Rather, she chose to believe it, and in that I think Chas was absolutely right when she said Robert only used her because Rebecca allowed him to. Yep. Fuck her. I was still trying to give her a chance but now I’m just done. 

I blame Robert most (the remaining 74.95%), of course (Or rather, the pod person that took over Robert’s body and reverted him about three years). He’d been TRYING so hard for so long and decided to just give up on all of it. I can relate to what he said to Chas on Friday - that Aaron had hurt him and so he wanted to hurt Aaron, and “once the idea took hold I couldn’t stop it”. Yep. I’ve done many self destructive things to myself because I couldn’t get rid of an idea...So I understand that perspective. But it doesn’t make it okay, or forgivable.

Robert’s struggle the last few weeks has been interesting to watch, and I’ve loved it. His dynamic with Liv especially has been FANTASTIC. The problem is the show didn’t give it more time. His breakdown after Aaron essentially said “leave me alone” was so unearned based on the very few things we saw onscreen. I suppose we were meant to think it was a breaking point for him? That Robert was upset because Aaron was drugged up, and didn’t care about Liv’s troubles, or that Robert had been worried??? But none of that came across very well in the dialogue. And Aaron could have been (should have been!) a lot more cruel to Robert to elicit the EXTREMELY OTT reaction from Robert that we got. I don’t know. It was so badly handled and makes no real sense. I just.... 

I am dead inside.

(btw - are we supposed to think that Aaron’s story about the guards finding stuff in his cell is true? because if it is, and if what Aaron said about convincing them it wasn’t his is also true, does that mean he threw Ethan under the bus? Put the blame on him?? Nice cellmate he must be. sigh.)

I did believe Robert’s shame and agony and guilt on Friday. Even if it took Rebecca threatening to tell Aaron the truth for him to come clean to Chas. He still did tell her when it came to it. He didn’t try to excuse it away but he did try to explain his thoughts and feelings which...is also a new thing. So. That’s...something. (I guess). And another something is that it’s perfectly clear (at least to me) Robert doesn’t harbor any actual, real feelings for Rebecca outside this supposed ‘friendship’ they had. And I think (maybe I just hope) that she’s finally had enough of him, too. Robert only wants Aaron...but now that he’s fucked up royally who knows if/when that’ll ever happen. You know - all I wanted was for them to be okay when Aaron got out, so we could see a truly happy, loving reunion and now that won’t even happen. For CERTAIN Chas will stop Rob confessing on Monday, and so whenever Aaron is released Robert will still be sitting on all his guilt and so, while it might look happy from the outside it really won’t be. Fuck I want to throw up. Will watching this show ever be fun again? 

Also? I cannot IMAGINE how/why Chas would leave if Robert and Aaron are split and Aaron is not in a good place. Or how she would leave them knowing what she knows about Robert? Or does the truth come out and Aaron and Liv leave with Chas and they all go away for varying amounts of time? Like...???? I hate this show so much, the timing of all this makes NO sense. LOL.................(I laugh, or else I’d cry - again). I also suspect Lucy has filmed a lot of scenes that will air further into the future than what we think. 

On top of all that, I just cannot imagine ANY possible scenario that would have Aaron forgiving Robert for this. Aaron could forgive Robert a random, I think, but not HER. Never her. That’s what makes this all so unbelievably BAD and tragic. 

Like I said above...I know how soaps work - I’ve been watching them off and on for 25 years. American soaps no less where there are literally no rules, where tired cliches and the worst of the soap tropes RULE THE DAY, where there’s little to no character development at all, and where lazy plotty-ness is applauded and often awarded. I KNOW how things go with daily dramas. The difference here is that Emmerdale knowingly played with fan expectation. They pulled the rug out from under us just weeks after making us all putty in their hands with that pointless wedding, and all that press and such. It was extremely cruel and unnecessary. Also? I simply thought the show was better than this kind of cheap drama.

I didn’t expect Robert and Aaron to go untouched or to be exempt from shitty soap plots; I didn’t expect them not to have relationship struggles. But I had hoped so hard that they would be free of the boring as hell cheating story. That any struggles they faced would be something exterior - something they could face together with some angst and arguments along the way. I guess some could argue since the circumstances around this event are extreme and have nothing to do with feelings or lack thereof that it’s not a typical cheating storyline. But still. Aaron was supposed to be different. The number of times Robert assured him, and told him how much he meant...I can’t believe any of that anymore. 

We the audience know Robert’s struggle. We know his emotional state and honest to goodness regret over the event, and that it happened with HER. But Aaron can’t see that, and won’t see that, and he shouldn’t have to see that. Which is why I just cannot fathom HOW this can possible be made okay again. 

I think, for me, this all would be so much easier to handle right now if that damn fucking wedding (which has been forever tarnished for me, so great job show) hadn’t happened. If the show hadn’t spent all that time and energy to tout this event so much. I just don’t understand WHY???? Why did EVERYTHING have to happen RIGHT NOW??? If they wanted Lucy and Isobel around for a wedding, they should have postponed it to when both were back. Because this...they’ve ruined it. For me...it’s ruined and possibly forever. I mean, am I wrong?

This is why, last fall, I fought with myself so hard against wanting or accepting an engagement or a wedding so soon. Because I knew, as soon as they were *happy*, then things would go to shit and they’d be broken. That’s how it is for popular soap couples. They don’t get happiness for any length of time. Ever. And so I should have known, or expected this. Except I thought the STRUGGLE for this current period was just prison. Not prison, and drugs, and cheating. Like.... TOO MUCH SHOW. Just one of those three things would have been enough. There was really NO NEED TO PILE IT ON. NONE AT ALL.

This is also why I tried so hard not to assume anything about Mill. The show made a point to say it was Liv’s money buying the house. There was never anything said about it being Robert’s, too. Just because there was a set didn’t mean Robert would be living there. But...I kept my mouth shut because who likes rain on their parade? Now I wonder...did they seriously build that set just for what happened last week? because if so? Fuck You Emmerdale. Truly and Sincerely, ME.

I try so hard to stay positive here - which is why I’m not really around right now. I’m not positive. I’m broken and upset and angry. I’ve lost all interest in making content. I’ve blacklisted all the tags because I can’t bare to even look at a single gifset. At all. I can’t watch any old clips because it all feels like manipulative lies. I don’t know when (if) that’ll change. As it is, right now I CANNOT WAIT for non-Robron episodes.

...this is just a small part of what’s been circling in my head the last four(ish) days. Writing this out has made me feel a teeny bit better - but not much. Sigh. If you read this all, thank you. I know there are things I missed and points I probably meant to make or expand on that I lost in the stream of my consciousness...

Though perhaps everyone is sick to death of talking about it. In which case, you probably didn’t get this far in the first place.