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#i just broke down into tears so now my head hurts even more. what have i done to be the subject of exasperation and judgment
fagsex · 5 months
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im just so tired of no one caring im in pain at this point like genuinely. my doctor cant remember my name or even the country i was born in. my family is annoyed throughout the day and night because im always coughing and i cant do anything and i just laze about in my bed all day like a slob or whatever. no one i mean fucking no one in my group of irl friends has messaged me about where i am or what im doing since ive missed school. people i sit next to and talk to every single day and for nearly three years. and no one cares. i wont even see them again probably ever in like two months and even after i return i wont be able to go anywhere with them.
im scared to go anywhere or eat anything and everyone hates me for being lazy and treats me like its my fault i got fucking pneumonia or some shit. you know where i got it? taking off school to take care of my little brother so my parents could get shit done. i have 2 written and 3 oral final exams in the next month. then 2 more written and the grand oral in june. and yet next month im still skipping a week of school to take care of my siblings again. and theyre still pissed im going to take a gap year after i graduate. (note: im not like 17 or some shit i had to this redoubling BS when i arrived because i didnt speak any fucking french).
im just so tired. everything hurts. i pant like a dog when the airs too cold. i cough when i lay down to sleep and when i sleep and when i wake up and when i look at a dust molecule wrong. i already have chronic migraines, now this. im just so fucking tired and i hurt so much and no one cares. very strange! at least theres football in a couple months. and i got 30 bucks for 12 hours of babysitting my siblings without full lung capacity or internet. maybe ill get a cool shirt. i guess
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yawnderu · 11 months
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Lorelei — Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader | Part I
1 2 3 4 5 6
Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.
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''So you're just goin' to sit there and tell me that isn't my daughter.'' Simon says bluntly, tone even yet carrying a snark hidden that you came to listen so many times after working with him— never once directed at you until now.
''It's really none of your business, Ghost.'' You don't even spare a glance at him, simply looking at your little girl, fingers gently running through her short hair. She looks exactly like Simon, though that will never take away your love for her.
''You're not denyin' it.'' He hesitantly sits down next to you, secretly afraid you'll bite his head off. The glare you shoot his way is enough confirmation that you would if you could. You sigh softly, the air leaving your lungs before being sucked back in, not wanting to argue in front of your little girl despite her not understanding words yet.
''Well, what's it to you? Why do you need to know?'' I can't handle you leaving me again.
''Don't be like that.'' His tone is soft, almost pleading. It has been over a year since he broke up with you, yet that doesn't make the loss any easier, not now that he knows he has a daughter, no matter how much you tried to hide it from him.
''Why didn't you tell me?'' He asks gently, feeling like he's walking on eggshells. It's the first time ever he feels that way with you, and he doesn't blame you in the slightest. It takes a few seconds of you thinking before you answer.
''I was terrified of you choosing to walk away from her... to be a deadbeat. I didn't want to have that image of you, because that would have hurt more than the break up.'' Your voice is more calm, though for all the wrong reasons. The familiar tingling all over your nose is back, eyes stinging as you try to hold back tears, too prideful to cry in front of him again.
''That's what you think o' me?'' He replies in nothing but pure disbelief and slight disgust. He would never walk away from his child, no matter how much that would destroy all the walls he has been building for years, stones upon stones carefully piled on top of each other, so strong nothing could ever break through— until you came along.
''I was fucking scared, okay?'' You look away and wipe your eyes with one hand, the other one carefully supporting the neck of the baby on your lap. Simon sighs, his bare hand hesitantly reaching down to trace the features of the tiny girl, being careful with her as if she would break if he applied any pressure. He notices your eyes glued to his hand, eyebrows furrowed. He's about to move his hand away until you adjust the little girl so he can touch her face without the awkward angle.
''Give me one more chance. Please— please, let me be a father to her.'' Simon never begged for anything, not even when he was tortured for months to no end, drugged, beaten like a dog, yet here he is; begging his ex for a chance to keep the girl in his life. You don't reply.
''I'll do everything I can. What I should've done. I want to be here, please.'' He was so damn ready to get on his knees and beg if that's what it took for you to let him be involved in her life. He's not asking you to be together— he knows he doesn't deserve that chance.
''She's looking at you like she knows you.'' Your response is ominous to say the least. You want to deny him, to tell him he doesn't even deserve to be able to touch the little girl you birthed alone, that he doesn't deserve the chance at a family after he destroyed 4 years of a relationship because of the very same thing, but... your little girl is looking up at him with pure admiration and curiosity in her big brown eyes, her tiny hand struggling to hold one of his fingers. Growing up with a single parent yourself, you know she deserves better, and you're willing to put your pride and pain aside to make sure she gets the world.
''Okay.'' You reply after taking a deep breath, holding it into your lungs for what feels like forever, choosing to ignore the strong arms wrapping around you, bringing all three of you close. It feels... right.
[NEXT]
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writing-fanics · 7 months
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lady with the butterfly necklace in the portrait [part one]
[summary: angel asks about the portrait of a woman in the hallway]
[warning: angst: mentions of death]
Lucifer at the portrait in the lobby of the hotel. Staring longingly at the woman in the portrait, her [hair length] hair and [e/c] eyes. She was absolutely gorgeous he felt a twinge of pain, as he reached out towards the portrait. How his heart ached, as he placed his hand on the portrait.
Her smile could light up any room, and make anyone smile. She was beautiful, the butterfly necklace wrapped around her neck. Her smile her portrait, portrayed her with grace and poise.
Angel looked towards Lucifer, as he stared at the portrait “You’ve been gawking at the portrait for minutes?” He said, walking up behind him causing the king of Hell to glance over at him.
“Who’s that?” asked Angel, curiously as he liked this popsicle. Lucifer smiled softly reminiscing on the good times he spent with her, “She was my wife,” said Lucifer, his smile faltering the pain in his chest unbearable.
Angel looked at the portrait, of the lady. A young Charlie sat on her lap, smiling. A butterfly hair clip in her hair. Lucifer stood beside his wife and daughter, smiling.
Angel looked at him and folded his arms across his chest, “Where is she now?” He asked, blatantly.
Lucifer eyes lowered to the ground, fixated. He looked slowly back up at the portrait, he missed her so much that it hurt. He should’ve stopped her, he should’ve protected her. He should’ve been a better husband.
Angel figured it out by the silence, and had an inkling that she was no longer with us. Yet, his blatant curiosity and slight being noisy got the better of him. Force of habit.
“She was amazing, loving, kind, i see as much as her in Charlie as much as I see myself.” He said, and Charlie looked at him sadly. She vaguely remembered that how her father, completely broke down.
“S-She..” He shuddered, looking down using his cane to support himself. He still remembered that day as if it were yesterday. The look of horror and sadness plastered on his face. When he opened the door, and a sinner demon was holding the lifeless body of their queen.
His wife
His partner
He stared at the floor for a moment, as tears threatened to brim his eyes. “There was a knock at the door,”He said, looking back up at the others.
Her wings torn from her body and stained with, gold ichor. She looked peaceful and had a faint smile, on her lips. Her body covered in scratches and cut. A slash around her neck, stared blankly and took her body into his arms.
His eyes turned into slits and the sinner demon bowed, and apologized for his loss. “S-She told me to tell you to take care of Charlie for me, and that she loves you two more than anything.” The demon said, sadly and Lucifer just stood there emotionless.
He didn’t notice Charlie rubbing her eyes, as she walked up behind him. Wondering what her father was doing at the front door, until she noticed. “Mama?” said Charlie, curiously. Lucifer world seemed to spin, how much more can Heaven take from him. His wife and unborn child was gone.
“She died protecting what few sinners she could,” He said, clearing his throat. “She was pregnant,” He shuddered, placing his hand over his mouth and dragging it downward. Angel looked at him sadly, almost regretting having asked the question entirely.
Angel seethed his teeth, feeling bad. “I didn’t mean to-” said Angel, but was interrupted by Lucifer.
Lucifer shook his head, “No, it’s okay, it happened awhile ago.” He said, even though it was true it happened ninety years ago. The memory was still fresh and it felt like it happened yesterday.
There were nights he couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning. Still missing the warmth of his beloved of his partner, her laughter that used to wake him up every morning as Charlie leaped into their bed. Her absolute beautiful singing voice, and how the rare butterflies of hell would flock to her. As if she was their queen.
“S-She sounds amazing,” said Angel, as he looked at the portrait, and a smile grew across Lucifer’s lips. “Yeah, she was.” said Lucifer, as he gripped the ring around his neck being held by a chain.
A duck swam towards the edge of the pond in Heaven, there sat a woman humming to herself. A scar around her neck as she began to feed the ducks. She giggled, as one flapped its wings at the sight of the bread. She lifted her head revealing her [e/c] eyes.
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shotmrmiller · 10 months
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A/N: This was supposed to be a small thing cuz i inhale toxic ex's like air but here we are.
Thinking of a toxic ex!Simon that you broke up with almost a year ago. You wanted more than what he was willing to give you— unbelievable fuck aside— and you were just gonna get hurt in the long run. So you ended it.
What hurt the most was how he didn't even try to put up a fight. He just stood in front of you, as impassive as ever.
"If that's what you want." He shrugged.
And that was that. Ever since then, you've focused on yourself and your job. Meaning no dates, no get-togethers, nothing. Just work and lonely nights with a glass of wine. That he hadn't reached out once in all this time certainly rubbed salt on your wounds.
Now you're here. Out with a group of friends at a bar, after being borderline guilt-tripped into coming. A couple of mango martinis in and you're approached by a handsome fellow. Curly, brown locks and sun-kissed skin.
"Can I buy you another one, lass?"
"Sure. I'll never turn down a free drink."
He chuckles and his smooth laughter sends a shiver up your spine. As he turns away to get the bartender, you flick your eyes at your friends. They're giving you cheeky smiles and thumbs up.
Rolling your eyes with a smile, Mr. Handsome comes back with your drink before saddling up next to you on a bar stool.
"So what's a beautiful bird such as yourself doing all alone here?"
"I've been locked up for too long. Needed a change of scenery. And I gotta say, the view's quite nice."
He grabbed the back of your stool and dragged you a little closer to him, before tilting his head to the side— emerald green eyes half lidded and slightly covered by his curly hair.
"Is that right? I gotta say I also like what I'm seeing." Moving his hand from the padding of your stool to hook onto your hip, he says, "How about we move to a more private setting? Do you live nearby?"
He'd be the first guy since Simon that you've shown any interest in. You weren't ready for a relationship yet, but a distraction wouldn't hurt. And his staggering good looks certainly helped his case.
Nodding, you take out your phone from your purse to text your friends that have somehow disappeared when it vibrates, so you unlock your screen.
Take him home and I'm slitting his throat.
You flinch and look around wildly in a panic. Where is he?
"Hey, are you alright?"
Your phone vibrates again and you swallow hard before opening the text.
If his hand doesn't remove itself from your body, it'll be coming off of his.
You squeak before aggressively removing yourself from the stool, tripping over your heels. You weren't as sober as you'd like to be. The guy tries to stabilize you by grabbing your wrist but you jerk yourself away from his grip.
"I uh, I have somewhere to be." You toss on your jacket over your shoulders before running towards the front door and into the cool, rainy night.
Bzzt. Another text.
Good choice. I'd have hated ruining your nice purple comforter. It's one of my favorites.
You turn your body, doing a 360, eyes aimlessly looking for the ghost of your past life, when your phone rings. You frantically press the answer button.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!?"
You hear him tsk. "I'd lower that tone of yours, love. I don't appreciate being spoken to like that," he says condescendingly.
Sighing, "I'm allowing you to continue this delusional 'break' of yours, but my patience runs thin. No one is allowed to touch you but me."
Your heart beats viciously at his audacity and tears start running down your cheeks. In fear, in relief or in anger, you don't know.
"Don't cry, doll. You should've known you'd always be mine. Now go home. I'll keep you safe."
Hanging up, you do as he says, wondering how long he's been keeping tabs on you— haunting you. You make a note to yourself to check your flat for cameras.
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shdysders · 8 months
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mistake
pairing: tara carpenter & female reader
summary: in which tara makes a mistake she can't undo
word count: 3.4k
warnings: violence, blood, stabbing, blood & death.
author’s note: feel like my writing is deteriorating, so sorry this might not be the greatest.
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When you heard that Mindy and Ethan had been separated from the rest of the group, you immediately knew nothing was going to go according to the plan.
Everything had happened so fast. First accusation news about Sam had streamed on television, then Quinn's bloody corpse had fallen on top of you, then Anika wasn't able to make it across the latter, her bloody hands and Ghostface's shaking had made her slip. You had lost two of your friends in less than fifteen minutes.
You hadn't heard of the killings in Woodsboro until you had met Tara the first day of junior year, but she made sure to tell you everything that had happened the closer the two of you got.
Based on everything you had heard, you understood why Sam was so protective over Tara, the Carpenter sisters had been through more than normal people have in a lifetime.
However, even though you were nothing but nice and understanding towards Sam, she didn't seem to like you.
The first time Tara had brought you home to the apartment, Sam had kept a burning gaze on you for the whole time, like she wanted to burn you alive.
You thought that she would warm up and eventually trust you like she seemed to do with Anika, Quinn and Ethan, but she never did.
And it only got worse once Tara had called you her girlfriend in front of her, a huge disagreement broke out, so big that Sam had sent you out of the apartment.
You never got to know what Sam had said after that, but you did know that the glares you got from Sam only worsened and so did the small comments she would make about you when she thought you didn't hear.
Such as now, when Sam and Tara were walking in front of you, the theater being the destination. You had this gut feeling that Sam was currently talking about you. You just knew she was, even tho you couldn't hear her voice nor did you see her head moving like it normally did when she spoke, you knew.
But your mind changed thoughts when she rapidly turned on her heel, stopping when she was in front of Danny who had been walking closely behind you, alongside Kirby.
"Not you." She said, her voice cracking.
"What?" He answered almost immediately, like he had been expecting it.
"Don't trust anyone remember?" Sam replied.
You watched the scene with worried eyes, what Sam said reminded you way too much of something she had told Tara when she thought you weren't near. "We don't know you.. not really."
His face expression looked hurt, almost taken aback when Sam spoke. "You know me."
"You're not Woodsboro." She spoke quickly, rage lacing her voice.
Tara looked down at her shoes after that was said, her lips finding a home between her teeth. You knew she was scared, because you were as well. You had no idea how things were going to go down, you had never experienced something as brutal like this before.
You were seconds away from putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, before she looked up at you with tears pricking her eyes.
"That goes for you too." She swallows thickly, trying her hardest to look into your eyes.
You furrowed your eyebrows, panic rising through you. "W-what?" Your voice came out as a stutter, not believing what she had just made it's way out of her mouth.
Tara just nodded unsurely, her eyes looked sad and were filled with doubt. You couldn't understand why. If she was sad about it, why would she say it?
"Tara I- you can't be serious." You spoke again, voice growing shakier by the minute.
She knew very well how terrified you were about the situation as it was, and yet she still chose to leave you out of the plan alongside Sam's unknown fuck buddy? If it didn't make you shake out of fear you would've been infuriated.
"You're not Woodsboro." She stated, same thing as her sister but in a different tone, she'd tried to sound calm, but her voice was filled with uncertainty, shaky with worry.
You knew she was right. You weren't Woodsboro. You had never been to the place nor did you knew it existed before Tara came along. But the fact that she didn't trust you enough to know for certain that you weren't Ghostface, made you feel the need to fall apart. Did she really think you would kill your friends? Let alone hurt them?
The thought made your eyes sting, and before you had the chance to wipe the tears away, they fell.
"Tara please I promise I-" You felt embarrassed, being so vulnerable over basically nothing.
All eyes were on you as you tried to keep the tears from falling, you felt ridiculous. But you were terrified.
You couldn't stand the thought of being left alone in this situation. Not only because you were scared of being alone, but also because you had to protect Tara.
Although you knew Sam would do a perfectly fine job of keeping her safe, but you wanted to do it, you had to. You wanted to prove to Sam that you loved Tara almost the same amount as she did, you wanted to prove to Tara she could trust you with her life.
You could see that Tara wanted to give in, tell you that you could come along and that she trusted you with her whole being. Her eyes were filled with regret and doubt. But you could tell that she wasn't going to change her mind anytime soon.
She just watched you, biting her lips hard enough to draw blood. Seeing the look on your face just made her want to squeeze you in a hug hard enough to make you faint.
You looked so scared, and the fact that she knew how scared you were about the whole situation, made everything worse. She had noticed the terrified look on your face that hadn't left since the attack at the apartment, your trembling hands and the layer of tears in your eyes that never fell.
Tara actually thought that you looked more scared than both Sam and her combined.
"Y/n please just stay here." She tried to reason, as if she wanted this. But she did want it. She wanted you to be safe.
You wanted to argue, tell her that you would refuse to come along. But you knew that you wouldn't get anywhere with it, Tara was stubborn, she always got what she wanted somehow. And you didn't want Sam to see you argue with Tara, that certainly wouldn't help you get on better terms with her.
So you gave in, even though you knew Tara's life was at stake. Sam will take care of her, you tried to tell yourself.
You quickly wiped the tears on your cheeks with your hand, even though everybody had already seen them.
Tara's eyes never left your figure as she watched your trembling hands. "Fine." You almost spit, voice cracking with worry.
Tara nodded at that, happy to hear you give in. You didn't pay attention to anybody's reaction other than hers, they didn't seem to matter.
She walked closer to you, placing a kiss on your faintly tear stained cheek. "Be safe." She said, as if she wasn't the one that was about to walk into a situation that she would either leave traumatized or not leave at all.
"Be safe." You repeated, before you watched them all walk away towards the building.
Seeing as Sam turned her head to Tara and whispered 'good call', as they walked away.
But when you turned around to try and make a decent conversation with Danny, he was nowhere in sight. Making even more worry creep in your bones.
***
You had been pacing around in the same place and pattern for 20 minutes without any progress, Danny was gone, and your phone was dead.
The streets where dead and empty.
You had half a mind to just run to the theaters and do the exact opposite of what Tara had instructed you to. But you knew well enough that both of the Carpenter sisters would quite literally murder you if you stepped a foot into their plan.
But eventually the worry and stress got to you, like it always did. You didn't care if you were going to get murdered whether if it were by Tara or Ghostface, if it was for protecting Tara, it was a good reason.
However, before you had the chance to change your mind or consider the other options, a glove-covered hand landed on your face, covering your mouth tightly.
The yelp and screams you tried to make was inaudible, nobody could hear them.
You felt a surge of fear and panic, unable to hear your own scream. The street grew eerily silent as you struggled to break free, your heart pounding in your chest. Rush of intense vulnerability and confusion, as you desperately searched for a way to escape the grasp of the unknown assailant.
But you knew who it was. It was Ghostface.
You tried to kick them with your legs, but none of them seemed to hit. The person was holding a strong grip on your mouth, and the other arm was firmly placed around your waist. You were unable to move out of any of the grips, the person was too strong. And you weren't.
Your panic was making it harder to breath, and you were beginning to feel as if you were about to faint any second.
You tried your best to remove the grip with your hands, gripping hardly on the muscular arms, trying so hard to get them away from you.
The tightened arms had veins all over them, yet another reminder that it was impossible for you to get away.
It was Danny, you tried to tell yourself over the ringing in your ears. It had to be Danny. He had left the second you were alone with him. It had to be him.
Muffled screams and ringing ears were the only noises you could make out. If the person behind you was speaking in a voice changer to you or not, you had no idea.
The panic you felt was replaced with relief when the thought of using your elbow to hit the individual behind you entered your mind.
But you never got the chance to do that.
Seconds before your elbow was about to meet the Ghostface mask, you felt a sharp pain in your lower abdomen.
All of the movements you were making stopped the second you realized what it was.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Seven times you could feel the sharp piece of metal enter and exit your abdomen. A gasp escaped your mouth after every single one of them.
You tried to scream, but nobody was around. Your wide eyes scanned through the street, yet again seeing that nobody was there. It was all empty.
Normally the streets of New York would be filled with drunk teenagers and late night workers, whether it was night or afternoon.
But when the news about the killers got out, everybody stayed inside. Some people didn't even bother to leave for work, and of course no parties. Even the homeless people seemed to have found another place to stay at.
You didn't realize that numbness was spreading through your legs until the potential male had slowly began to loosen the grip he had on your figure.
Before you had time to think, he had completely let go.
Suddenly you felt dizzy, you couldn't feel your feet, you couldn't feel your legs, you couldn't feel anything.
You could barely feel your legs giving up, nor did you feel your body hitting the ground as you tried to cover up the damage that had been made on your lower stomach.
Regardless the sharp pain in your body that almost made it impossible to breathe and the dizziness that got worse every time you moved, you tried to crawl towards the fence that was just centimeters away.
Your hands bloody from trying to add pressure to your wounds made trails on the asphalt.
You couldn’t tell if you had placed your hands on the right place, considering that the stab wounds were all over the place. And you didn't even dare to look down, because you could guarantee that it wouldn't be a pleasant sight.
Your eyes were starting to close by themselves and you were struggling to keep them open.
Everything hurt.
The pressure you were putting on the wounds was now becoming lighter, your hands didn't seem to have any strength left in them.
Tara would be here soon, you thought, desperately.
She would be here soon, everything would be okay; no more Ghostface attacks, no more Sam hating you, and no more unexpected death cases of your friends.
Your mind focused on Tara.
Her brown hair, her beautiful brown eyes, her dimples and her breathtaking smile. Her voice, her touch, and her joyful laugh.
Your eyes closed, and this time you couldn't stop them. The pressure on your wounds was no longer existent. The color in you was gone. You were gone.
Last thought being the girl you wanted to marry.
***
Tara left the building with a lump in her stomach, as big as a bowling ball.
Her body was filled with worry and guilt, but a part of her felt relief. She was relieved that everything was over now. No more Ghostfaces. She was done with them, truly.
Tara couldn't wait to see you. She was going to tell you that the decision she made was right, that she was happy you stayed behind, because you stayed safe.
But when Danny had walked into the theater, tackling all kinds of officer in his way, he was all alone. You weren't there, you didn't come with him.
Danny told them that the two of you had lost sight of each other rather quickly after they'd left, that you probably just needed to be alone and breathe for a moment.
Tara knew that you would be upset with her, for not allowing you to come with them, for not letting you protect her, like you always told her you would, even if it meant dying.
Although she had hoped for you to at least come to see if she made it out alive.
Danny had called the cops and ambulance to arrive at the place as soon as he got the chance. That's why the only thing in Tara's sight was ambulances, police cars and the fire department.
Chad had miraculously made it out alive, same with Mindy and Kirby. And even though that made Tara want to cry out in happy tears, she couldn't let herself feel anything until she had seen you.
Safe and secure. Like you should've been.
Panic began to rise within Tara as minutes passed without any sight of you.
Sam stood beside her, trying to sooth her younger sister with comforting words. But they didn't make anything better for her.
After the whole showdown, the two Carpenter sister's had talked, really talked.
Sam had tried to explain to Tara that she didn't actually hate you, the opposite really. She thought you were lovely and a perfect match for Tara. But she didn't want to take any risks.
She wanted to show you the walls to her trust weren't easy to break. And then she thought that if she acted rude towards you, you would eventually leave; meaning there was no need for Sam to let her guard down and open up to people she didn't know.
But Sam knew how much Tara loved you, she had been listening to her sister's rambling about you everyday.
That's why Sam could feel her heart sinking down her entire being when her eyes met with a stretcher where a body was placed, a morgue sheet on top of it, which was filled with blood.
Sam prayed that it was somebody else. That you had walked somewhere else to breathe just like Danny had assumed.
She felt the need to distract Tara before she had the chance to see it, but it was too late.
She had already seen it.
Tara screamed out your name in a sob, straight away assuming that you were the person underneath the white cover.
The woman who had been pushing the stretcher had stopped, turning around to try and give the man behind her any sort of information about the deceased individual.
Tara's legs moved faster than she could process, Sam following shortly after.
Heart pounding, hands trembling. With a swift of motion, she grabbed the edge of the wrap and pulled it upward, revealing your pale and peaceful face.
The vibrant hues that once painted your face were now gone, leaving behind a pale and ghostly visage. The colors had been drained from you, you no longer looked like yourself.
Tara could feel herself gasp loudly at the sight, turning around with a hand placed on her mouth.
A surge of sickness overwhelmed her. A gut-wrenching sensation, as if her stomach was about to revolt. She felt like she was on the verge of throwing up, basically feeling the acidic liquids rise within her.
It was you. Her girl. Dead. Gone.
Sam had the same reaction to the sight, gasping and putting her hand on her mouth, preventing from letting out any tears or sounds. Chills running down her spine.
Stop it. Pull it together. Tara. Tara needs you. Sam told herself.
Gaze shifting from your body and the bloody sheet upon you to her younger sister, who was sobbing beside her, about to fall down to her knees.
But when Sam put a hand on Tara's shoulder, she stood straighter. "No!" She shot up, voice raspy.
She looked at you again, but this time not caring for the feeling inside of her throat that threatened her. "She's not dead." Tara spoke again, trying to convince herself that you were alive, that she could save you.
"Tara-" Sam tried, but Tara had no interest in listening to her sister.
"Y/n. Baby, look at me." Tara gently brushed her fingertips against your cheeks, but quickly pulled away when she felt the chill that pierced through her body, for they were once a source of warmth and comfort, now distant and cold.
You were always warm.
The tears streamed down Tara's face, leaving even more mascara smudges on her cheeks, falling and leaving marks on her blue shirt. The shirt that you had gotten her.
"Sam, Come on! help me please" She begged for her big sister's help, still hoping that you could be saved.
At that sentence, the woman who had pushed you turned around, she seemed to have heard Tara's pleads and begs, filled with hope, wishing that you were alive. "Oh honey, this girl has been deceased for over an hour...we can't save her."
The woman spoke apologetically and looked at Tara with sorrowed eyes. "I'm so sorry." She ended. Tara was about to scream at the lady, yell at her and tell them to at least try, you weren't gone. There was no way.
But before Tara got the chance to argue, Sam had pulled her into her chest, embracing Tara with a hug. And at that, Tara broke.
The sobs left her mouth faster than she could take them in, she didn't have any space to breathe.
"She's gone." She cried, her tears staining the older woman's shirt. "And I wasn't there to help her." Tara rambled, talking rapidly before the next sob would escape.
Sam didn't know what to say. She just stroke her younger sister's hair, trying to soothe her sobs.
She had never seen Tara this vulnerable and emotionally ruined, not even when she had reunited with Tara at the hospital the previous year.
Tara's body shook violently as each sob left her mouth.
It was a mistake. It was all a mistake.
Tara had been so confident with her decision only minutes before. She thought she had made the right move.
But it turned out to be the biggest mistake of her life.
A mistake she couldn't take back, and had to live with for the rest of her time alive.
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marvelslittlewhore · 9 months
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Always There For You
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REQUEST | HIRT/COMFORT WITH RAFE CAMERON PLSSS
PAIRING | rafe cameron x maybank!reader
WARNINGS | allusion to child abuse, luke maybank, bruises, blood, angst, hurt/comfort, love confession, kinda enemies to lovers?
A/N | my first ever Rafe fic so bare with me 🙂
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Rafe was sitting in the living room, in the middle of rolling a joint when he heard rapid knocking on the front door. At first, he ignored it but the knocking got more aggressive. He groaned, getting up and marching to the front door.
"What?" He snapped the second the door was open. He expected anything but you standing before him, arms wrapped around yourself and clothes drenched from walking through the pouring rain. "Maybank? What are you-" He trailed off when he finally noticed the state you were in.
The bruises that lingered on your face and the bloody nose had Rafe already silently fuming. You and Rafe have an unspoken friendship if you dare to say that. Yes, you shouldn't like him. He's your brother's enemy, but Rafe was never actually rude to you, he does the usual bickering but in the end, you would both smile at each other and just go your ways.
Rafe himself doesn't understand what draws him to you. Maybe it's the way you're always smiling at him or standing up for your friends, even delivering a few punches when needed. Seeing you now, teary-eyed and hurt has him clenching and un-clenching his fists.
You sniffled, rubbing your arm nervously. "I'm sorry, I just...my brother's at a party and I didn't want to worry him. I...I didn't know where else to go..." you looked down at your feet. "Sorry, this was a stupid idea-"
Rafe didn't respond, you were about to turn around and leave but he quickly pulled you inside the house and into a hug, kicking the door shut with his foot.
The second you were in his embrace you broke down, sobs ragging through your shivering body. You wrapped your arms around him, your hands gripping tightly onto his shirt and face pressed into his chest.
"Shh, it's okay," he whispered, his hand resting on the side of your head, with the other he rubbed your back soothingly.
He pulled back to get a better look at your face, brushing a stray of hair out of your face and wiping the tears away.
"Who did this to you?" he asked and you closed your eyes shaking your head. "Hey, Hey, you're safe here. Okay?"
You open your eyes again. You could see in his eyes that he was truly concerned for your well-being.
Taking a shaky breath you muttered. "M-My dad...it was my Dad."
You watched him taking a deep breath before he goes to grab his keys. You quickly took hold of his arm.
"Wait! Please don't go... don't leave me here alone." you whimpered, bottom lip quivering and your grip tight. "Please, Rafe."
He sighed, placing the keys back in their designed bowl. "Come, let's get you fixed up." he grabbed your hand, leading you upstairs to his room. He made you sit on the edge of his bed, before going to the attached bathroom.
While he was gone you could take in his room, the luxurious furniture and pictures that probably cost more than you will ever archive in your life.
A few moments later Rafe came back with a small first-aid kit, a damp rag, and fresh clothes for you. He kneels before you, placing the stuff beside you, and starts to gently rub the dried blood off your face.
You hissed a few times when he graced a sore spot but you couldn't focus on the pain right now, more on how beautiful his eyes were. You developed feelings for Rafe for a while now, but never made a move because you knew JJ wouldn't approve of this at all.
At this moment you couldn't care less about your brother or the pogues. Your only focus is on Rafe and how gently he's with you. "Thank you..." you mumbled after he put the rag aside.
He flashes you a little smile. "No need to thank me. I've barely done anything."
"You could've just slammed the door in my face." You remarked, smiling a little.
"True. I would've to everyone else, but never to you," he confessed, continuing to fix you up.
"And why is that?" you asked in a teasing tone.
Suddenly he stopped what he was doing, his hands falling to rest on your knees, his eyes locking onto yours. "Because I like you. I like you a lot, actually."
"Y-You do?"
"How can I not? You're fucking amazing," he said, his hands now reaching up to cup your face, smirking. "For a Maybank."
You hit his arm playfully. "You're a jerk."
"Probably, but I still fixed your beautiful face." he teased, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you..."
"It's not your fault." you reminded him softly and he pulled back again.
"And neither is it yours, it's him, it's all him, you understand?"
When you nodded he grabbed the clothes next to you, placing them on your lap. "You should go take a warm shower. Don't want you getting a cold now."
You got up and made your way to the bathroom, smiling when you realized he gave you some of his clothes and closed the door behind you.
Rafe was patiently waiting on his bed, planning in his head what to do when he pays good old Luke Maybank a visit tomorrow. There's no way he will get away with this.
He gets pulled out of his thoughts when he hears the bathroom door unlock, smiling at the way his shirt almost reaches your knees. His smile faltered when he saw the bruises that formed all over your legs.
"Feeling better?" he asked, getting up to pull you into another hug.
You nod against him, mumbling softly. "Just tired."
Nothing more had to be said and Rafe swept you off the ground. You yelped in surprise, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. He carried you to the left side of his bed, lowering you onto it with utmost care.
He pulled the covers up before smoothly jumping over you on the free spot, savoring the way you laughed at him and hoping to hear it every day.
You were both lying on your sides, facing each other so close with your nose almost touching his. You reached a hand up to caress his face while he was tracing his finger up and down your arm.
"I-" Before you could speak his lips were on yours in a captivating kiss that had you closing your eyes and your head spiraling.
His hand went to the back of your neck to pull you closer, if that was even impossible. He only pulled back to let you breathe, smirking at your flustered expression.
"You don't know how long I've waited to do this," he said and you chuckled, having waited for an opportunity like this yourself for too long.
"I can imagine." you smiled at him, shuffling closer to snuggle against him.
He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. He's glad he could finally confess his feelings for you, the situation could have been a better one though, but a situation like that would never happen again now that he's got you safely in his arms and you can be sure he'll never let go of you again.
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For everything:
@lokigirlszendaya @buckymydarlingangel
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babygorewhore · 8 months
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Daddy issues
After your dad is arrested, you try and beg for his job back. But Rafe Cameron decides another way for you to help your father. And his arrangement is different than you imagine.
Warnings! Daddy kink! Talks of violence! Slight reference to abuse! Choking! Blow job! Rough unprotected sex! Breeding kink! Virginity loss! Dirty talk!
You didnt know if you were more angry or surprised when you got the call from the officer that your dad was arrested and currently in jail for assault. You were finished working your late shift at the restaurant when your phone rang.
You screamed in your car on the way to the station. Your dad was a dead beat. An asshole who didn’t know how to fucking control his temper. Daddy dearest also liked to get loud with you, throw things when he didn’t get his way and one time he slapped you in the face.
You slapped him back and threatened to slash his tires. But the threat was empty considering he needed to work, which you had no idea how he kept his job at the docks while working for Rafe Cameron. It used to be his father Ward until his suicide. You’d met him often while picking your dad up, given you had to share a car.
He was…polite you could say. But he was also scary. He glared at everyone and he was short tempered. You usually heard him snapping or yelling if something wasn’t done right. Your dad complained about how strict he was.
But his status and wealth made everyone obey him and intimidated you. His attractiveness however was on another level. His height made you feel small and his blue eyes cut through people.
You slammed the door at the station and went to the desk. After signing in, you tapped your foot impatiently as an officer came up to you.
“Are you…?”
“My dad is here. He just got arrested.” You ground out. You hated being here. She nodded and looked at paperwork in front of her.
“Are you here to post bail?”
“I’m here to see if there’s any way we can clear this up as a misunderstanding.” You tried to plead but she shook her head.
“Ma’am, he attacked a man at a stoplight. He beat him up to the point he lost one of his teeth.”
You pressed your head against your hand. Jesus Christ it was worse than you thought. “How much is bail?”
She looked again at the paperwork. “Looks like we’re at 6,000 dollars.”
“What? I thought the bail was lower than that!” You shrieked.
“Ma’am. He also had multiple charges. Public intoxication, disturbance and assault. He caused a lot of trouble. I suggest you alert his job tomorrow. But until then, he’s going to spend at least 60 days in jail.”
You started crying. You couldn’t help it. It hurt so much. You couldn’t get a break. And now you’d have to face Rafe Cameron and face the humiliation of your dad being in jail.
You cried on and off the next day as you had to switch your schedule to the evening and make the phone call to your dads manager about his current situation. It was immediate termination and you broke down even harder in your bedroom. You refused to take his phone call, afraid you’d explode on him.
As you got ready for another dreaded work shift, your phone started ringing to a number you didn’t recognize. Hesitantly, you answered.
“Hello?”
“Your dads in jail, huh?” You immediately froze. It was Rafe’s voice. How did he-well he was capable of finding anything out.
“I-um. Yes. And he can’t work for you anymore. But if you’ll please reconsider. I know he’s a piece of shit but this is the only job he’s lasted out and we desperately need the money. I’m trying to get a car and we have to share one. I know this is probably pointless but I can’t help but try. So please, please take him back.” More tears came and you felt like a total cry baby but you pushed through.
You expected him to laugh but instead silence met you.
You bit your lip hard enough it bled.
“Meet me at my house. I’ll text you the address. I have a proposition for you.”
“Why can’t you tell me over the phone?” Your stomach tightened.
“Do you want me to help you or not?”
“Yes. Of course. I’ll be there.”
“Good girl.”
You set the phone down but seconds later his address came through in a text and your breath stopped short. He wanted to see you after work.
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Five minutes before closing and after you finished cleaning, the drive to Rafe’s house wasn’t that far and now you knocked on his door. When he answered, you tried not to reveal how much you found him attractive. His hair was in his face and his eyes were glazed as he looked down at you. His fingers twitched and you imagined what he was doing with that hand…
Rafe gestured with his head for you to come in and you followed him inside the massive penthouse. He had everything you imagined. Expensive furniture, floors and lights.
You followed him to the kitchen where he pointed to the bar stool. “Have a seat.” He muttered.
You obeyed and watched as he circled the island in the center of the room. “So. You wanna save your dads job?”
“Yes. I’m willing to do anything-“ You stopped short when a smirk fell on his face.
“Anything?” Rafe challenged. “It looked like you hated him whenever I saw you talk to him.”
“It’s complicated.” You replied and his smirk grew into a cruel smile.
“Looks like someone has daddy issues.” Rafe countered and you crossed your arms.
“I-well when you put it that way-“
“I’m just bringing up what you’re telling me. Your dad beats the shit out of someone. He went to jail-and now you’re doing anything you can to fix it. Tell me if I missed anything.” Rafe’s voice was low and you hated that he was right.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound pushy. I’m just in a tight spot.”
“Oh I’m sure you’re in a…tight spot.” His meaning was clear and you swallowed.
That was the exchange.
“Look at you. Being a little smart girl and figuring it out. I’m gonna get to the point. You want me to take him back? Bail him out? I get to fuck you. Anywhere. Anytime. And anyplace I want. No condoms. No hidden birth control. No. I wanna see my cum leak out of that desperate pussy.”
Your mouth opened and closed. “I can’t just fuck a stranger. And no birth control? I can’t fucking get pregnant.”
“I’m a selfish whore, baby. And I can afford one. And those are my terms. Either that. Or your dad rots.”
You bit your lip. You weren’t in a position to say no. You needed the money. And Rafe was hot. There were worse guys. Rafe got closer, his big hands reaching to cup the side of your neck.
“Yeah? You want it?”
Slowly, you nodded.
Rafe crooked a finger, signaling you to come closer. You stepped down and approached him gingerly and looked into his gaze. Rafe then latched his hand around your throat. His grip was so strong your feet almost lifted in the air and your eyes widened as he crushed his lips to yours.
His lips devoured you as he shoved his tongue into your mouth. You weren’t experienced. Sure, you’d touched yourself and made out with people.
But actual fucking? You’d never done that. And you knew that was about to change.
“You want me to take care of you, don’t you?” Rafe loosened his hold on your neck and pressed you against the island counter, “need someone to be your daddy?”
Your hands flew to his chest as you brought him impossibly closer, his lips sucked your skin with bruising force. You opened your mouth as he slipped his fingers inside.
“Suck.” He commanded and you listened. Spit gathering on your lips as he kneed your legs apart and lifted you up on the counter.
“Need daddy to help you? Fill you up with my cum?” His dirty words made your cunt twitch as he started toying the end of your skirt. Your thighs dampened as he trailed his thick fingers along your flesh, his fingers grazing the wet patch of your underwear.
You started grinding to give any friction against your arousal as he apparently changed his mind and threw you to the ground by underneath your arms. Rafe gestured to the crotch of his pants. “Consider this your first payment, baby. You ever done this before?”
You shakily remained silent as he huffed an amused laugh.
“Really? A girl who’s such a perv that she’s willing to fuck someone giving her money? Never would have guessed. I guess I’ll be nice and help you.”
Rafe undressed his lower half, his cock leaked with precum and he took your hand. “Swipe it with your thumb, get it all wet.” His massive hand compared to yours was almost comical as he grabbed the back of your head.
“Open your mouth, princess. And remember to breathe through your nose.”
After that, he silenced whatever worries you had by shoving his dick forward. You run your tongue along the thick underside, lessening some of the heavy weight by massaging with your hand. You took the tip through your mouth, shoving down any nerves as you sucked. Rafe bobbed your head up and down as he pushed you further, your head bouncing as your eyes squeezed shut.
“No, no, open your slutty eyes and look at me.” He growled. He leaned over the arch of the space between the counter and where you sank on your knees. The skin of his cock was supple as you continued aiding with your hand. It was hot to the touch.
“Good fucking girl. Maybe I’ll reward you by fucking your pussy.” He started thrusting and hitting the back of your throat. “Breathe. Breathe through your nose.” He wiped a few tears away with his thumb as you listened to him.
You knew he was getting closer as he stopped talking, his breathing heavier as he moved your head. His cum spilled inside your mouth, as he released you and you coughed.
“Not bad for your first time. We’re gonna practice some more.” Rafe smirked as his face was flushed and his fist flexed.
He moved on top of you on the floor, hiking up your skirt and ripping off your panties. He spread apart your wet cunt and dipped his middle finger inside your clenching entrance. “You’re such a whore. Never done any of this and you’re already gonna cum. Should have known you’d be daddy’s cum slut.”
Rafe yanked your legs apart, and spit on your pussy. “Not that it needed it, but I’m gonna be a little more kind to you.” You shrieked as he grabbed your jaw.
“Are you on birth control?”
“No.” You quickly answered. “Never-never needed-“
“Good. And you’re not going to. Got it?” Rafe moaned as he pushed his tip in your pussy, “fuck you’re so tight.”
You winced from discomfort but then his knuckles hit your clit, aiding to relieve your tension as he circled them. “Gonna make you mine. Take you away from all that shit.” He grunted as he pushed further.
Rafe let you wrap your arms around his neck as he thrusted.
“Tell daddy you like it.”
“I like it.” You sobbed as he moved harder. “I like it, daddy.”
It was slightly shameful how quickly you came all over him and spilled onto your legs. Rafe also came again and you felt it inside you. He was serious about no protection.
He stayed for a few seconds before getting up. And pulling his pants back on. He extended his hand and pulled you up. You knew you were a sight to be seen, fucked out eyes and messy hair. You just lost your virginity to Rafe Cameron.
You cleared your throat and watched him sweep his eyes over your face. “So. My dad?”
He shrugged. “He’s already out.”
You paled. “What?”
“I posted bail a few minutes before you got here. But as for his job, you’re gonna have to work harder than that. I have conditions.”
“But I already said-“
“More than just fucking you, baby girl. I own you now. You are mine and no one gets to even think about fucking you. I will cross any line you make to keep me away. And if you try, I will punish you.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong.” You whimpered as he loomed over you.
“And?” He mocked. “You already agreed. You need me. Don’t you?” He cupped your jaw. Tightly but not as harsh.
“Yeah.” You leaned in to his touch. Your defenses are completely down. You needed care. You were always working. Always cleaning up after someone’s mess. And now…he was going to take care of you.
And either make your daddy issues better.
Or worse.
@xxhellfirebunnyxx @imyourdaninow @lesservillain @take-everything-you-can @slvt4jamesmarch @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @scene-and-dandylover @emsgoodthinkin
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evie-sturns · 22 days
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upset - Chris Sturniolo
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summary: after a terrible day, your best friend chris, always knows how to cheer you up.
contains: flufffff, crying, comforting, teasing, bestfriend!chris, flirty friendship.
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my hands shake as i speak on the phone to my boyfriend, well ex boyfriend.
ive been dating noah for the past year, everything had been perfect until today.
he called me 5 minutes ago with no warning, then broke up with me. it was so blunt, he had no emotion to his voice at all.
now i'm left desperately talking to noah on the phone.
"i- i dont understand.. it doesn't make sense noah? c'mon..?" my voice quivers, clutching the phone up to my ear,
"it'll be fine, just move on f'me yeah?" noah speaks, he almost sounds bored.
"why? what is- what's your reason!?" i raise my voice, holding back tears.
"just don't fuck with you anymore sweetheart, i'm sorry." noah says with a small laugh before hanging up.
im in such a state of shock i can't even fully process this.
my first instenct is to call my bestfriend, chris.
"chris! chris please come over right now." i practically burst into sobs as soon i speak, i hear a small gasp from his end before shuffling.
"yeah- yeah! i'm coming right now, ill only be a minute." chris speaks, his voice soft as though hes trying to calm me.
"thank you." i whimper into the phone before hanging up.
---
i hear two soft knocks at my bedroom door, followed by chris's voice.
"can i come in?" he asks, gently twisting my door knob before walking into my bedroom.
im sat cross legged on my bed,
"oh sweetheart." chris sighs, walking over to me and sitting down on the matress infront of me.
"can i have a hug.." i cry,
chris wraps his large arms around me, pulling me to his body.
"whats happing y/n.." chris whispers into my hair, his hand reaching up and stroking my back.
"n-n-noah- noah broke up with me!" i stammer out between hiccups.
i physically feel chris tense, his grip on me tightening slightly.
"im so sorry," chris sighs into my ear, i bury my face into his shoulder.
"he didnt even- even give a warning and he was so mean about it chris!" i choke out,
chris just nods, letting me speak.
"i hate him! i hate him so much!" i cry, my voice breaking.
"i know you do, you hate him don't ya?" chris says softly, stroking my hair.
"i do!" i sob,
"i know it hurts sweetie, i'm right here." chris mutters,
i slowly pull away from his shoulder,
chris gives me a sorry smile, his eyes roaming my face, which is a total wreck.
i have snot running down my face, which chris seems to take amusment to.
he grabs a tissue from my bedside table and holds it up to my nose.
"big blow for me?" chris speaks, then instanltly slams a hand over his mouth with a small 'sorry.'
i crack a small smile,
chris pinches the tissue to my nose, "blow blow blowww"
i pathetically blow my nose into the tissue,
"good girlllll, that’s right." chris smiles,
“let’s get you ready for bed okay? try sleep it off yeah?” chris suggests, staring into my eyes.
i nod, wiping my nose.
he lifts me up off the bed, i flail my legs as i clutch onto his shoulders.
“if you drop me i swear to god!” i attempt to raise my strained voice.
“i’m not gonna drop ‘ya sweet girl.” chris says taking me into the bathroom,
he sets me down on my feet infront of the sink,
i stare at my red, mascara-stained face. only causing more tears to start up,
chris instantly grabs my chin, “shh- shh.” he whispers
“let’s wash your face okay? don’t worry about noah, i promise if he could hurt you this much so easily there’s no point in being upset over him.”
i nod at him,
chris rubs my back, running the cold water.
he stands behind me, slowly tipping my head fowards under the stream of the tap.
he cups water in his hands and brings it up to my face, gently washing away the mascara.
“that feels better doesn’t it.” chris smiles gently, drying my face with his shirt.
i nod, wiping my puffy eyes.
he guides me out into the bedroom,
i slowly shimmy towards him with my arms open, pulling him into a tight hug.
he rubs my back as i bury my face into his shoulder, “you know i love you so much, i’m so sorry he hurt you, you don’t deserve any of it.” chris sighs,
i nod shakily,
“he didn’t know what to do with such a pretty girl like you, i’m sure of it.” chris speaks, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
i don’t let him go, holding him tight.
“i know it’s hurting so so much right now, but it’ll get better.” chris says,
i slowly pull away from his chest,
“y-you’re my bestfriend chris, i love you.” i sniff, my voice cracking as i bury my face back into him.
he laughs lightly, “i love you too,”
“are you sleepy?” chris asks, rubbing my back.
i shake my head, “just sad.” i say with a frown.
“do you want to do something to distract you?” chris asks,
i nod, wiping my nose with the back of my hand
“you wanna bake?” he asks,
baking has always been my favourite thing ever, chris knows that.
i nod my head frantically,
he scoops me up off my feet and starts to run down the hallway,
i scream with a loud laugh, clutching him tight, “CHRIS!!”
he grins widely, running me into the kitchen and setting me down on the counter top.
“we’re making cookies i don’t care what you say.” chris chuckles, grabbing out ingredients.
he sets down most of the right ingredients, and grabs a bowl
“not that bowl!! that’s my vomit bowl!” i laugh,
he grimaces with a smile, “stinkyyy”
he pulls out a new bowl and puts it in my lap,
he turns back around and grabs butter, throwing it onto the counter beside me.
i go silent,
suddenly i burst into tears, again.
chris’s eyebrows instantly furrow, he grabs my shoulders, “hey- hey-“ he speaks softly
“i’m sorry- noah- noah used to use that butter to butter my toast every morning.” i sob,
chris picks up the butter,
abruptly chris hurls it across the room into the trash can, with impressive aim.
“then we won’t use butter!” he smiles, wiping my eyes with his buttery fingers.
i crack a smile, before laughing loudly.
he grins proudly at my smile, “there she is!”
i cover my face with my hands as i laugh, “don’t look at me!!”
“i want to look at youuu.” chris smiles, peeling my hands away from my face
i smile at him, “let’s just make the cookies.”
he nods, “good plan.”
he starts to put oil and brown sugar into the bowl,
“oil?” i question,
“i mean it’s basically butter.” he replies,
“fair enough.” i laugh, pouring in the sugar with no measurements whatsoever.
“okay, now flour.” chris says, he grabs the flour back and holds it up to my nose
“sniff it.” he smiles,
i furrow my eyebrows and sniff it,
chris suddenly presses both sides of the back together, causing flour to puff up all over my face.
i gasp, my whole face white, “chris!!!”
he erupts into laughter, bringing his hands up and dusting it off my face.
i’m in total shock before giggling along with him, peeling open my eyes
“you are such a moron!” i laugh, grabbing a handful of flour and slamming it onto his cheeks gently.
he goes to reach for more flour, but i grab his wrist.
he gives me a small pout, clearly trying to hold back a grin.
“okay- cookies!” i smile, pouring the flour into the cookie dough
he mixes it with a wooden spoon, before dumping in half the bag of chocolate chips.
“dude we should just make one massive cookie.” chris states,
i roll my eyes, “chris.”
“pllllleeeaseee.” he grins,
“fine.” i scoff, chris claps.
he grabs all the cookie dough in his two hands and plops it on a baking tray, before punching it several times to flatten it.
“okay- so just put it in for 10 minutes.” i say, chris nods, humming to himself as he pushes the baking tray into the oven.
he shuts the oven door and walks back over to me,
“feeling better?” chris asks, placing a hand on my knee as i sit on the counter.
i nod, “i really am, thank you chris.”
he smiles, “i’m glad, i hate seeing you so upset.”
i wrap my arms around him again, giving him a hug.
-
a couple minutes have passed, chris goes to check on the cookie.
he opens the oven and his jaw drops, a small laugh escaping his mouth.
“bro- it’s like spread across the whole thing.”
chris says, pulling it out of the oven and showing me.
i giggle, “maybe cause we used oil and didn’t measure a single thing”
he pulls a bit off of it and plops it into my mouth.
i grimace, “it tastes funny.”
he tries a bit aswell, “what!! it’s good!”
“it’s gross!!”
“okay, i’ll keep it to myself then.” chris says with a sassy tone
“um.. do you think you could maybe stay over tonight- i mean you don’t have to but i don’t know.” i ramble,
chris smiles, “you wanna have a sleepover with me!!” he claps
i scoff, “yeah.”
he helps me off the countertop onto my feet, grabbing my hand and leading me back to my bedroom.
he sorts through my closet and pulls out a pyjama pair, throwing them at me.
i shake my head with a frown, my eyes watering again.
he pauses,
i start to cry again for the 100th time today,
“that was noah’s pair he bought me.” i sniff,
chris wipes his face, “i’m so sorry.” he groans,
he picks me up, i bury my face into his shoulder.
“no more tears please.” he sighs, wiping my eyes.
i nod, “i’m just sensitive.”
“i know you are, let’s get you into your favourite pyjamas then, how’s that sound?” chris speaks softly.
i nod, chris carry’s me over to my closet and opens my pyjama drawer, letting me pick one.
i pull out a pink pair, my hand shaking.
chris walks me over to the bed and sits me down on the edge,
he crouches down beside me, pulling my jeans off down my legs.
he grabs my pyjama shorts and tugs them up me, a concentrated look on his face.
he tugs off my shirt gently, his cold fingertips grazing over my skin.
he pulls on the baby tee, “how’s that?” he asks,
i sniff, “thank you..”
he turns off the main light and crawls into bed beside me.
he tugs up the sheets over us, pulling me closer to him.
i rest my head on his arm,
chris suddenly lets out a snort, covering his mouth with his hand.
“what’s funny?” i ask with a confused smile,
“just having flashbacks to you with that damn flour all over your face.”
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@downbad4reid
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lissdiary · 26 days
Note
katsuki comforting his pro!hero gf when she kinda fails her mission because she didn't get to save the people but defeated the villain? love your writing btw, wouldn't have guessed you were new if i hadn't read your profile!
katsuki sat on your shared couch, watching the news on your recent mission. the headlines were tragic, you had done what you could in order to protect the civilians but the damage was greater than you could handle. luckily, you managed the capture the villain but you just couldn’t shake off how many lives were lost.
he looked towards the apartment door, he heard your keys jingle trying to open the door. as you walked in, he started walking towards you. the soft expression on his face was enough to make you cry, he knew how much stuff like this hurt you. “katsuki.. i couldn’t-“ you dropped everything in your hands, tears swelling in your eyes. “i couldn’t save them ..” the lump in your throat began to hurt more and more, katsuki caught you before you fell to the ground.
“shh.. it’s okay baby” you couldn’t do anything but cry, he held you in his arms as you cried. your tears staining his black t-shirt, you were frustrated with yourself. “it’s, it’s not kats.. the people, they-“ he caressed your head, fixing your hair after it had gotten messy. you couldn’t even form the right words, it was difficult and traumatic.
“hey, look at me.” he cupped your face in his hands, picking your head up to look at him. your tears continued to flow down your cheeks, sniffling as you looked at him. he knew you tried your best, he knew you did what you could. “look, you did what ya’ could alright. who cares about what some shitty reporters say about ya’?” he wiped your tears with his thumbs, kissing your temple before resting his head against yours.
he wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to cry in his arms.“what matters is that you’re safe and you did your best throughout the entire mission, you ensured the safety of the people.” you both sat on the floor for the next hour, realizing it was late and time to sleep. although katsuki has an early bedtime, he stayed up until you were asleep. he knew you’d have trouble sleeping due to what had happened, and he would’ve rather died than let you stay up alone with your thoughts.
it broke katsuki’s heart to see you lay in bed the next morning. you laid there, puffy eyes with no light in them, dried tears stains down your cheeks, there was no light in your body whatsoever. katsuki made sure to call off work, he knew you needed him by your side and he made sure to stay there for as long as you needed him.
he made you a light hearted breakfast, just enough for you to eat. he knew you would wake up with no appetite but you needed to eat. a simple breakfast that consisted of pancakes, fruit, and coffee made just the way you liked. he served you breakfast in bed, plopping beside you so he can feed you. “you’re okay baby, nobody blames ya’ alright?” you nodded, allowing him to feed you another bite.
if it wasn’t for katsuki, you don’t know how you would’ve managed to cope with the trauma. he kissed your cheek when you managed to finish the plate he made you. “thank you baby, feelin’ a little better now?” he put the plate on your nightstand, pulling you close to him. you laid by his side, your head on his shoulder. “mhm, thank you kats..” you cuddled up closer to him, his warmth comforting you.
“yer’ welcome baby, just glad yer’ back home safely.”
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tysm for requesting! it truly means a lot knowing you love my work!! (*≧∀≦*)
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thebearer · 4 months
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please please please need a part two of the fight blurb 😭 what happens next 😭😭😭
should i make it into a full fic omg?? maybe?? lol
but on the real, i think that he would have to take a leave from the restaurant, which truthfully, everyone needed. this is just what broke him. the one time he actually tries to deal with his shit and not just blow up, get embarrassed, try to make it up, and repeat the cycle with no real change. i mean, you took his babies? anchovy and teddy. you're not returning his calls. richie, fak, and sweeps are alternating wellness check watches because they're terrified he's going to hurt himself, especially after the way he spiraled when he found your wedding ring.
he knows where you're at. he managed to become technologically savvy all of a sudden and figured out how to see your location, that you shared with him when you first started dating. fak wouldn't let him take his car. richie had put him on a full blown "psych ward type shit" lockdown until he "got his shit together, cousin".
"richie said-"
"-richie's a fuckin' moron, give me my fucking keys, fak!"
"carmen," fak frowns. "i-i can't."
so carmen walked. he walked to sugar and pete's house. nearly an hour walk through chicago. smoking so much he felt sick.
pete answered the door, face falling as soon as he saw carmen.
"carm, h-hey, man-"
"-where is she?" carmen wasn't interested on any sort of small talk, tunnel visioned to get to you.
"uh, i-i don't-"
"-pete, i really don't want you to fuck with me right now, alright." carmen took a deep breath, throat burning with tears. "i need to see- i-i need to see her pete." he couldn't bring himself to even say your name.
a tiny meow came from behind pete, anchovy skippering towards carmen with bright eyes, tail raised. it made carmen's jaw clench, tears blurring his vision. he knew you had to be close by. looking at the time, you were probably feeding teddy, maybe putting her down for a nap. he should have been more considerate, came later in the day, carmen thought.
pete looked at the cat, down the hall, then back at carmen. "carm..." pete hesitated, gripping the door, letting it shut gently, shielding something behind him. "you know i can't."
"what the fuck? pete that's- just let me in." anger surged through carmen's chest, trying to swallow it down. all he'd been was angry. angry and sick and distraught, a never ending cycle for weeks, just amplified by your leaving.
"you want to get her back? quit actin' like a goddam baby." richie sneered one night, just days ago, when carmen was especially awful and mean. "quit actin' like this isn't your fuckin' fault. like you didn't do this to yourself. take some fuckin' accountability, grow the fuck up, and get your motherfuckin' shit together. and maybe-maybe you'll get your family back."
carmen turned, running a hand over his face, trying to calm himself. keep himself from crying, from screaming, from pushing pete down and running back there so he could see you himself- throw himself at your feet and beg for forgiveness.
"pete, please? please?" carmen's voice wobbled, breaking gently. "please l-let me talk to her. just let me- let me tell her i'm sorry. don't-"
"-carmen?" sugar's voice came from behind pete. her face dropped, different than pete's, her's was angry. "what the fuck are you doing here?"
"why do you think i'm here, natalie? huh?-"
"-oh, you've got a lot of fucking nerve showing up here." natalie sneered, pulling the door open and stepping out. "pete, go inside."
"nat-"
"-i got it." natalie hissed, eyes narrowing at carmen. she waited until pete left, shaking her head at him. "you should be fucking ashamed-"
"-i am-"
"-mortified." sugar continued. "do you know what i came home to the other night? i came home to pete taking care of your baby because your wife came here sobbing- sobbing, because you screamed at her? what the fuck is wrong with you? huh?"
"i don't know." carmen's voice was tight, fighting a tremble. "i-i don't fuckin' know. i didn't- i-i didn't mean-" a tear fell, the final crack in his demeanor. carmen wasn't sure how he had tears left, how he could sob anymore. yet here he was, on his sister's porch, tears flowing again.
sugar didn't comfort him, didn't move, just watched him through glaring eyes. "please let me s-see her. let me se-ee teddy, sugar, don't-don't keep my kid from me-"
"-i'm not keeping your kid from you." sugar snapped. "i didn't take teddy away. you know who did? you. you did carmen."
carmen flinched, he knew it was true but it still stung. "i know you don't remember dad very well, but you're acting just like him." sugar sneered.
"and before you try and come up with an excuse-"
"-i-i'm not-"
"-i want you to know, that every day. every single fucking day, there's days i want to drink myself to sleep. that mj or maggie make me want to pull my hair out and scream, or pete does something that infuriates me, but you know what i don't do?" sugar stepped towards carmen, arms still crosses. "i don't yell at them, i don't drink myself incoherent, i don't fucking act like mom or dad because i know how that felt." sugar jabbed a finger in her chest, eyes holding carmen's gaze intensely.
"i know how that fucked me up, i know how it fucked them up, how it fucked you and mikey up too- how it fucked everything in our fucking life up!" natalie laughed humorlessly. "and the last thing, the very last thing i would want, is to do that to pete, to my kids, to anyone."
carmen felt sick and yet eerily calm all at once. his chest was tight, he was sure he couldn't breathe, but he couldn't stop listening. a damning realization- a shameful one.
"you need to make up your mind, right here, right now, before you see anyone else." natalie stepped back towards the door. "you need to decide if you're going to continue to be a selfish piece of shit, or if you're going to change. and i can tell you, change is uncomfortable- it's not easy. you have to fight for it every single day. but i would rather do that than not have my family."
she looked down at carmen, twisting the knob. "you decide that, then maybe- maybe you can see them." carmen flinched at the door slamming behind her, not moving from his place on the porch, head in his hands.
fak showed up nearly an hour later, wide eyed and rambling about "how the fuck did you just leave? i was playing ball buster and-and then you're gone-"
carmen ignores him, sliding into the car slowly. "carmen?"
"you uh," carmen's voice is hoarse, staring straight ahead. "you said that, uh, that richie's got.... got someone for me to talk to?"
fak blinks, nodding slowly. "the therapist? yeah-"
"-take me there." carmen looks over at sugar's house. he isn't sure if it's his imagination or not, but for a moment he swears he can see you, peeking through the blinds.
"a-are you ok?" fak is worried, a little rattled at the sudden change. especially since carmen had been so adamant about not seeing "your stupid fuckin' therapist, richie, clearly she's no fuckin' good because look at you! you're still fucked up!" carmen's enraged words from days ago.
"no," carmen admits, throat swelling with a growing lump. "but, uh, i-i wanna be." he admits quietly, looking over at fak. "i gotta get my shit together, fak. i-i gotta be better for them."
fak doesn't deny it, doesn't console him. just goes quiet with a nod, driving away. carmen watches sugar's house disappear in the rearview, his heart aching, breaking, but he knows natalie is right. he knows he'll be back once he's better, that he has to be better. for teddy. for you. for your family.
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tommydarlings · 23 days
Text
Tell me you love me! | L.N
pairing: dark!psychotic!ex!dom!lando x sub!reader
warnings: smut, cnc, psychotic behaviour, dacryphilia, spitting, hair pulling, sex in front mirror, threatening???, manipulation, breeding kink, choking, mentions of the usage of a knife
w/c: 2.4k
summary: Your crazy ex boyfriend — Lando Norris — wasn’t really happy with the fact that you broke up with him, so he decided to pay you a little suprise visit one night and show you how badly you broke his heart. (based off of this request.)
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The infamous, sweet and talented lando norris. A man that a lot of girls adored.
Your ex.
The relationship lando and you had was actually quiet good, at the beginning it was peaceful and loving, lots of date nights, lots of stolen kisses, lots of supporting and comforting and of course lots of sex, great sex even…
But as you noticed that he got more and more controlling and kind of… psychotic some might say — you saw no other choice anymore than to leave him.
The worst mistake of your entire life.
As you woke up in the middle of the night due to a loud knock you heard on your front door, you were suprised… who on god’s name could want something from at 1 a.m?
You tiptoed down the wooden stairs of your home and slowly opened the door, gasping in shook as no other person then your dear ex boyfriend stood in front of you, and in a matter of seconds, he forced himself inside your house and quickly covered your mouth, your back to his broad chest.
“You make a noise that isn’t a whine, scream or moan out of pleasure tonight, and I’ll use that little friend of mine here, you understand?“ he raised his hand and waved a little bit very sharp looking pocket knife in front of your face, making you widen your teary eyes in fear.
Swiftly, you nodded, your tears hitting his fingers after they made their way down your red cheeks, “perfect, that’s my good girl.“
Lando ran his nose along your temple before you smelled your hair, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath, “Not using my favourite shampoo anymore, huh? What a disappointment, always loved that smell so much, baby,“ his hand still covering your mouth.
You shook your head, trashing around in his tight grip, trying to shook off the arm that he forced around your waist since you felt so uncomfortable and scared,
“Oh no no no,” Lando shook his head, his smile fading, brows furrowed at your action, “None of that, baby, okay? Or I have to get violent here with you and to be honest,“ he kissed your tears away, “I don’t wanna get violent with my pretty little girl,“ he kissed your cheek.
You sniffled under his hand as he suddenly lead to two of you towards your bedroom, stumbling almost awkwardly before you reached the room you just came from, lando loudly closing the door behind you two.
“You removed our pictures,“ he mumbled to himself, sounding disappointed and angry.
He scanned the room before you carelessly shoved you onto the bed, “stay there and don’t move or I have to hurt your soft skin, alright?“
Lando looked at you with dark eyes, the knife now pointed at your face. You looked down at it with a fearful gaze before you quickly nodded, not wanting him to hurt you.
He nodded along, “Good,“ he leaned forward and briefly kissed your forehead before he wiped some of your tears away, “still obedient, huh?�� he chuckled before he turned around and scanned your drawers where you kept all of your clothes.
He sighed, making your eyes widen in fear again, “you also got rid of all of my T-shirt I see… even the McLaren merch I gifted you,“ he spoke in a deep and quiet tone, turning around to look at you, knife still in his other hand that wasn’t checking the drawers.
“I-I am sorry, lando… I thought since we weren’t together any-”
“What? Just because we aren’t together anymore you can immediately assume that you can just throw all of the stuff that I gave you carelessly away? Like it’s nothing?“ he got louder, making you jump as you still sat on the bed with tears staining your face.
You gulped and shook your head but only looked down in shame and fear, maybe he was right… maybe you shouldn’t have just thrown it all away…
“Look at me,“ he took slow steps into your direction until he stood in front of your sitting figure, “I don’t like it when you look at the floor, you’re supposed to look at me and obey me.”
You raised your head and looked into his eyes, the fact that they were darker than usual still haunted you,
“That’s more like it,“ he placed his hand onto your chin, his thumb caressing your skin, running his finger also along your trembling bottom lip for a few seconds.
He stared into your eyes, grin not fading away as he studied your facial expression, “You’re scared, aren’t you?“
You slowly nodded, “No need to be scared, baby,“ he replied, his hand laying gently on your cheek, thumb caressing your skin, “I’ll protect you, alright? I’ll take care of you, my love,“ he mumbled with a tiny smile before he spoke up again,
“Lie down for me, would you?“ the Brit murmured but you only shook your head, making his little smile fade away in a matter of seconds.
Lando cleared his throat, hand leaving your cheek and placed on your shoulder now, gently pushing your down against the sheets, “When I tell you to lay down… then you lay. down.“
You gulped, eyes not leaving his as you slowly obeyed and laid down, scooting backwards towards the headboard while he got on the bed as well and crawled between your spread legs, sitting on his knees in between them.
“Perfect, that’s exactly where I imagined you, baby,“ he whispered under his breath, his hand already working to remove your shorts.
“N-No-” you protested but he interrupted you almost immediately.
“No, no, no… just let me, okay? I know what I’m doing, baby… you still trust me, right?“ he raised his brows at you, making you furrow yours.
He continued removing your shorts and underwear, throwing them to the side before he ran his fingertips down your chest and stomach, obviously towards your now exposed heat.
“So pretty… so soft, baby,“ your ex said in a hush tone before he reached your cunt, fingertips slowly rubbing your clit.
You jumped a bit and threw your head back, teary eyes staring at the ceiling as you fisted the sheets next to your naked hips, “Why aren’t you wet, hmm?“ he asked you quietly.
You lowered your head again to look at him and watched him raise his hand to his mouth, swiftly spitting onto his fingers before he went back to rub your pearly clit in slow but intense circles, making you unintentionally see stars.
“G-God,“ you whined quietly, biting your lip almost immediately after letting that pathetic sound escape your mouth, not wanting to show him that he actually does have some kind of effect on you.
Lando looked at you with a smile, “Yes? I’m listening, baby…“ he replied cockily.
You shook your head at him and wanted to throw a snarky comment back at him but you couldn’t, your words got stuck in your throat and you unintentionally arched your back again as his long and wet fingers slid into your tight hole, stretching you out.
“You’re also tighter than I remembered,“ Lando mumbled more to himself, his other hand bending your right leg to give him easier access to your now pretty wet heat.
His fingers worked at a slow but rather hard pace, forcing gasps and whines out of you as it started to feel good, way too good.
You gasped in a high pitched tone, “Lando… I’m gonna cum!“ you whined, hands fisting the sheets.
Lando nodded and leaned down, spitting on your clit before he smeared it with his thumb, his fingers moving in and out of you in a quicker pace, being way harsher now.
Whines escaped your mouth as tears covered your red cheeks, lando's eyes leaving your drenched pussy and focusing on your face now, smile still painted on his face as he didn’t slow down, “Tell me you love me.“
As you heard those words leaving his mouth, you furrowed your brows, your thighs shaking next to his hand between your legs,
“W-What?“ you looked at him with tears eyes, barely understanding anything at this point since you were so close.
“Tell me. you. love me.“ your ex repeated in a deep and harsh tone, his other hand squeezing your shaking thigh as he still kept on bending it so that he had full access to your cunt.
Your whole body was going crazy at that point, you were a sweating and shaking mess, your throat sore after releasing multiple screams and whines, tears staining your cheeks.
“I-I love you!“ you cried out in a loud tone before you crumbled completely and came all over his fingers.
Before you could even catch a breath and calm down a bit, he already pulled his fingers out of you and grabbed your upper arms, pulling your upwards and ripping your shaking figure off of the bed, walking with you towards the full body mirror in your bedroom.
In a matter of seconds, he forced you onto your knees in front of it while he also got onto his knees behind you, his lips grazing your ear from behind,
“Tell me you want me,“ he pulled on your hair in a harsh manner, “Tell me you want me to fuck you right in front of that mirror.“
You gasped, tears hitting your top lip as your face was almost squished up against your mirror, your eyes only focused on his face as you stared at his reflection.
“Want you to-to fuck m-me,“ you whined, your tears blurring your vision a bit.
He nodded, the pads of his wet fingers toying with your pussy from behind, making you see stars once again, “there’s something missing, baby… that’s not all I wanted to hear,“ he raised his brows, his lips brushing against your ear.
You took a deep breath as you felt his fingers against your pussy again, eyes rolling into the back of your head before you spoke up again, voice hoarse and quiet, “in front of the mirror.“
Lando nodded along your words, his hands slowly unbuttoning his pants now and pulling his cock out, spitting on his hand and smearing it over himself before he teased your wet entrance with his tip,
“I'm still missing one tiny word, baby,“ he groaned deeply as his tip entered you from behind, going in and out of your tight hole from behind, wanting to tease you a bit before he buries himself fully in you.
You furrowed your brows and gasped in a high pitched tone as you continued feeling the salty tears on your lips, “w-what?“ you asked quietly.
He grabbed your hair in a makeshift ponytail, pulling your head backwards and forcing you to arch your back more, his eyes staring into the mirror to closely watch your facial expression as he slowly filled you up.
Your ex caught your gaze, “what is that pretty word with six letters that I wanna hear out of that little mouth of yours?“ he raised his brows at you.
You took deep breaths, “please?“ and lando nodded with a smirk, “please,“ he repeated quietly in a proud tone.
“F-Fuck,“ he moaned from behind, watching your tears fall down your cheeks with dark eyes,
“God, just as tight as I remember,“ he pulled on your hair, his lips grazing your ear, “nobody else fucked that little cunt of yours while I wasn’t here to do it myself, right?“
You groaned loudly, your hands smacking against the mirror to steady yourself a bit as he started to thrust into you.
Lando watched you bit your lip, “you better tell me I’m right, pretty girl,“ he tugged on your hair again, making you hiss in pain,
“Either you tell me I’m right or you tell me his name right now and I’ll haunt him down and fuck you right in front of him to show him who you belong to,“ he spat at you from behind as his thrust started to get harsher, making you whine in pleasure and slight pain.
You squeezed your eyes shut, letting the tears stain your cheeks but you immediately shot them open again as you felt his big hand chocking you from behind, squeezing your throat in an almost threatening way.
“Y-You’re right,“ you quickly nodded, teary eyes staring at him through the reflection as his thrust almost made you crash into the full body mirror.
Lando nodded as well, “Good,“ he whispered into your ear from behind, his thumb stroking your skin a his fingers didn’t stop chocking you, clearly wanting to see you struggle.
You gasped and moaned, whined and cried out as the first pleads started to leave your mouth,
“P-Please,“ you whined at him, his hips starting to thrust into you harder and quicker, almost pulling his entire length out before shoving it harshly back into your wet entrance.
You watched a smile creep up onto his face, glancing down at your ass from behind before he looked back up at you through the reflection,
“Please what, petty girl? Give me a full sentence,“ he kissed some of your tears away.
He choked you harder, making your eyes roll into the back of your head as you tried to give him a proper answer, “Please m-make me cum a-again,“ you gulped.
Lando groaned from behind, “fucking shit, baby… you know what I’m gonna do?” He asked quietly in a raspy tone,
“Gonna breed you, gonna make you all round and pretty, would you like that? Carrying our little baby? A mini mixture of the two of us, wouldn’t that be just perfect?“ your ex asked quietly, but you only shook your head.
You took deep breaths, more tears staining your hot cheeks, “please d-don’t,“ you whined loudly as you felt yourself coming closer to the second sweet release of the night.
But the formula one driver only nodded with a wicked smile, “Oh I think we should do that, create our little family so you’re stuck with me forever,“ he kissed your neck and shoulder, lightly biting your skin as well, marking you.
A few seconds later, you both came at the same time. You were a crying and screaming mess as you felt him filling you up, your teary eyes trying your best to stay open to watch him through the reflection of the mirror but it was tough.
“That’s my good girl, there we go, baby,“ he squeezed your throat one last time before his hand fell down, landing softly on your thigh.
You were still heavily panting as you heard lando's voice behind you again,
“So… already got any names in mind?“ he asked with a deep chuckle, kissing your temple.
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moonstruckme · 2 months
Note
hi author !!! if it is okay with you i wanna request a fic in the same universe as the Big Brother!Sirius one where in reader gets a (secret) boyfriend and then they break up or whatever u want i just want hurt/comfort 🥹
Thanks for requesting <3
big brother!Sirius + little sister!reader ♡ 996 words
When you hear the door to your dorm open, you assume it’s one of your roommates or Regulus coming to shame you for missing dinner, but then your mattress shifts with the weight of someone else sitting down and a familiar teasing voice says, “If you’re dead under there, everyone’s going to think it was me.” 
You peep your eyes out from under the covers. “How did you get in here?” 
Sirius isn’t even looking at you. He’s making himself comfortable at the end of your bed, both legs crossed under him and hair falling in his face as he unwraps dishes and utensils. 
“Reggie let me in. He seemed to think you might need some company.” 
“He’s such a narc,” you grumble. 
Your brother only snickers. “Sit up, I brought you dinner.” 
You’d much rather stay under the covers, but know Sirius would only wrestle you into an upright position anyway. He always gets his way. 
“Yikes.” He makes a face as you sit up, revealing your bedhead and swollen eyes. “You’re having a rough one, huh?” 
“Shut up.” You glower at him and take the plate. “It’s not that bad.” 
Despite your grumbling, a bit of vulnerability sneaks into your tone. Sirius softens.
“No, it’s not,” he agrees, reaching forward to brush a piece of hair away from your face. “We’re always pretty; it’s in the genes.” 
You can’t help the small smile that fights its way onto your face. This is exactly the sort of thing your older brother would say when Regulus was twelve and sulking over getting his first pimple or when you nearly broke down in tears trying to style your hair. Despite his tomfoolery and general ridiculousness, Sirius’ levity actually provided a voice of reason in your family, reminding his siblings and cousins that things weren’t always so dire. 
“Thanks for bringing dinner,” you say.
“No problem,” Sirius replies softly, as though worried his gentle tone will be overhead and his rapscallion’s repute thusly destroyed. “Is it good enough that you’ll tell me what’s gotten you so upset?”
You blink at him in surprise. “Reg didn’t say?” 
Sirius’ mouth twists, dissatisfied. “He didn’t. I guess I would’ve been more likely to find out if I’d just pretended I already knew, huh?” 
That makes you chuckle. “Probably, yeah.” 
“Well, come on. Now you’ve gotta tell me.” 
You feel your shoulders hunch inwards. “Do I really have to?”
“Yes.” Your brother’s voice is firm, but his eyes are hopeful. 
You want to tell him, you find. You don’t suppose any harm can come from it now. 
You eye him carefully. “I broke up with my boyfriend.” 
Sirius’ eyes pop. He nearly topples your plate leaning forward, like you’re back in your childhood beds trading secrets. “You were dating someone?” 
“I was.” You can’t quite look at him, focussing on cutting your meal into small bites. “Or I thought I was. It doesn’t matter. I’m definitely not now.” 
“Wha—how did I not know about this?” 
“Because obviously I’m not going to talk about my dating life with my brother,” you huff a laugh down into your lap, and you swear you can feel the force of Sirius’ eye roll burning into the top of your head. “No one really knew. He wanted to keep it private.” 
Sirius tilts his head, slotting a piece of his hair behind his ear. “Private in an avoid-the-gossip-mill way or private in a dirty-secret way?” 
You close your eyes, shame curdling in your gut. Even your idiot brother knows enough to be suspicious of something like that. Maybe if you’d told him all those weeks ago, you wouldn’t be where you are now.
“In the second way,” you admit in a whisper. “I, um, sort of assumed it was because of the first, and I liked the idea of keeping things private too, but it turned out he had other reasons.” 
You try to take another bite of food, but it feels soggy and unappetizing in your mouth. You set your plate aside. 
“What happened?” Sirius asks. 
Your face feels miserably hot. “He just didn’t like me as much as I liked him. He didn’t want his friends to know.” Tears burn in your eyes, and when you try to speak again they show up in your voice, too. “I feel really stupid.” 
“Oh, sweetheart.” Sirius sits up on his knees, bending over you to fold you into a hug. His hand presses reassuringly between your shoulder blades, and you let out a little sob. “That doesn’t make you stupid, it only makes him a prat.”
You hug him tightly. “I just feel so silly being upset when he probably doesn’t even care.” 
“You are being silly,” he chastises, but there’s fondness in your brother’s tone. “Of course he cares. He may not be regretting things right now, but I’d bet ten galleons he will be by the end of the month. Trust me, babe, boys are idiots. We don’t know how to act, we almost never know what we want, and we’re ten times more likely to fuck something up if it’s important to us. Just ask Remus.” 
Your laugh is a soggy thing. Sirius rubs your back encouragingly. 
“So, what’s the sod’s name?” 
“Oh, no way.” You laugh even harder, pulling out of the hug to wipe under your eyes. “I’m not telling you.” 
“What?” Sirius throws up his hands. “But we were doing so well!” 
“I’ve handled it, Sirius. I don’t want you to go and turn his skin green or make him sprout nose hairs down to his chin.” 
A giddy grin. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Does Regulus know who it is?” 
You fix him with your sternest stare. Most other people would soil their pants, but because he’s your older brother, Sirius only raises a brow. “If he did, he wouldn’t tell you.” 
“That’s alright.” He steals a roll off your plate, biting into it insouciantly. “I’ll find out.” 
456 notes · View notes
mallowsweetmiri · 2 months
Note
babes PLEASE I BEG YOU write a part two for remus x potter!reader🥺🥺🥺
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Remus Lupin x Potter! Reader (pt 2)
Part 1 • Part 3
Summary: James is pissed at Remus for keeping you a secret from him, but that’s not going to stop you two from seeing eachother
Warnings: cursing, smut
—————————————————————————
Remus stood up from the table as you walked towards the exit looking nervously at him.
“Not you,” James growled, pointing angrily at Remus as he got up from the table. You walked quickly with your head down, embarrassed that your brother was making such a scene. You were pretty sure you knew what this was about. Remus, of course. But how did James find out? He was fine one moment then flipping his shit the next. Guess you’d find out in about, hmm one second.
“What the fuck, Y/N?” James yelled the moment the two of you entered the hallway. Your cheeks were furiously flushed, but you crossed your arms and tried to stand your ground.
“What are you on about, James,” you spat back. James scoffed and laughed at the same time.
“Don’t play dumb with me. Wh- what- you and Remus?!” James practically screamed. You looked around nervously, he was being so dramatic. You sucked your lips in. So he did know.
“What gave you that idea?” You said, trying to keep your cool, but your nervousness had seeped into your voice. James’ face twisted into a look of pain and cringe.
“Your fucking bow, Y/N! We were just teasing Remus about this goddamn bookmark with a bow that we found on his bed- oh gods- you were in our room?!? Oh my gods, Y/N, I’m going to be sick,” James cried, he was losing his shit. Your cheeks were on fire now. You couldn’t believe you left your book there, how could you guys be so stupid?
“Look, James. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t want you to freak out. Kind of like you’re doing right now,” you muttered, “but I was going to tell you. Please, James I really like him and-”
“No,” James asserting, shaking his head, “No, absolutely not. You are not going to be seeing Remus. Ever. Again.” James was pacing by now, you honestly hadn’t seen him this mad in years.
“James-”
“No! This is not up for discussion. I can’t even believe it! I can’t believe the fucking audacity Remus has, getting with my baby sister!” James laughed out loud again, incredulously. You rolled your eyes.
“James, I’m not five. I’m only a grade below you.”
“And you’re still my sister! You’re not allowed to see him anymore,” James shook his head, keeping his distance from you. Tears began to well up in your eyes. This wasn’t fair.
“James, I’m sorry,” you sobbed, hot tears flooding down your face, “I was going to tell you-” The door to the hall swung open. Remus stepped out, looking concerned when he saw you crying.
“You,” James growled, pointing his finger once again at Remus, “you lied to me! You’ve been lying to me this whole fucking time!”
“James, I-” Remus tried, but James wasn’t having either of your words.
“No, you fucking liar! How could you?” James sounded genuinely hurt, and it broke you heart to see Remus’ face as he took in James piercing words. “How could you look me in the eye knowing that you’ve secretly seeing my sister? How long has this even been going on for?”
“I- since the summer, but-” James’ knuckle cracked him in the face.
“James!” You yelled, more tears streaming down your face as you watched Remus’ stumble over.
“Don’t ever talk to her again, do you hear me?” James yelled before grabbing your elbow and dragging you back towards the dorms. You looked back over your shoulder at Remus who looked at you solemnly with trickles of blood on his face. It only made you cry harder. James dragged you, despite your tears and protests, all the way up to the common room.
“Go to your room, now.” James ordered, pointing up the girls staircase. Who did he think he was?!
“You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my dad!” You yelled. People in the common room were staring now. You and James never fought.
“Y/N, I just can’t do this right now. Go to your room. We can talk tomorrow,” James sighed, rubbing his temples. Tears began to well again as you turned to stomp up the stairs. It hurt James to see you cry, but it hurt him even more to know that two of the people he loved the most had been sneaking around behind his back. He shook his head as he headed up to his own room to calm down.
That night, Remus laid in bed awake. James had shunned him all night, and Pete and Sirius kinda just shrugged and assured him he would calm down. Eventually, they said. Remus hated that this is how James found out. He had wanted to tell him together, albeit James probably still would’ve freaked out. Remus sighed, turning over on his pillow. He wanted to see you so desperately tonight, as he had told you earlier that day. And seeing you cry today only made him want to hold you that much more. He hated James for making you cry, but he knew deep down that it was his fault. He tried to regret having you, but he just couldn’t. You were the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
A tap on the window jolted Remus up. He opened his bed curtain to see an owl on the windowsill, holding a thin package tied in a little pink bow. Quietly, Remus opened the window and retrieved the package, signaling to the owl to wait there for a few minutes. Remus crept back into his bed, whispering lumos before pulling out the notecard attached to the package.
Remus,
I don’t care what James says. I already miss you, and I can’t bear to think about never seeing you again. We can talk to him tomorrow, I know he’ll come around. I hope your face is feeling okay. James is such an idiot for punching you. I wish I could kiss it better. Until we can see each other again, I’ll be thinking of you. I left you a little present to hopefully cheer you up.
- Y/N <3
Remus smiled to himself. To be honest, his face hurt like a bitch, but he deserved it. Gods, he just wanted to see you. Slowly, he untied the pink ribbon attached the the package. It was light and small. Remus wondered what on earth you had put in here. His blood rushed to his cheeks as his fingers wrapped around the lacy fabric, pulling out a pair of your panties.
“Fucking hell,” Remus muttered, almost groaning at the sight. Remus was fucked, there’s no way James was going to keep him from seeing you after this. Even if Remus wanted to stay away, how could he after you sent him your sexiest pair of panties? You knew they were his favorite too, a pink lacy thong with a little bow right above your cunt. Remus summoned his quill, turning your note over and hastily writing meet me in the common room. Remus got up as quietly as he could, giving the note to your owl before shuffling to his trunk. He grabbed the necessities- a blanket and the marauders map. He tiptoed out of the room, double checking to be sure that nobody had woken up. He snuck down to the common room, the ever burning fire lighting his way as he walked towards the couch. He was impatient, twiddling your panties in his hand as he waited. A few moments later, you were padding down the stairs, Remus’ sweatshirt hanging off your body. He’d forgotten that you had that one, and gods you looked so adorable in it. He stood up and race over to you, engulfing you in a hug with his blanket.
“Y/N,” he breathed, kissing your head. You sunk into his touch, almost whimpering. You’d been crying for hours, and all you wanted was to be held by Remus. You pulled back and gently touched his cheek where the cut was. He winced.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. He let out a little laugh.
“It’s okay, my love,” he pulled out your thong and swung it in front of your face, “this made me feel better.”
“I’m glad,” you blushed with a small smile. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, hoping he could sense your want. It only made you want him that much more knowing you weren’t supposed to.
“Lets go,” Remus said, wrapping the blanket around you before pulling out a map.
“What’s that?” You whispered as the two of you moved out of the portrait hole.
“Uh, a map, Don’t worry about it, love” Remus said, checking the parchment before leading you down the hall. This wasn’t the first time the two of you had snuck out to the astronomy tower, but tonight felt even more risky than usual. You felt as though James was gonna jump out from around the corner and attack Remus. You were curious at this map Remus had, but he was hiding it from you and frankly, you didn’t care. As long as it got you to where you needed to go, you could live with not knowing. Remus guided you through the cold halls, the two of you trying not to giggle as you fumbled up the stairs to the astronomy tower. It was moments like this that you were sure James would come around. The two of you made each other so happy, how could he deny his own sister that chance? You shook your head in thought as Remus entered the platform, slowly taking the blanket off of you and laying it on the ground.
“Give me your sweatshirt,” Remus whispered, tugging at the edges.
“But I’m cold Remus,” you pouted, earning a chuckle from him.
“Don’t worry, I’ll warm you up. I promise,” his sweet tone made you oblige as you stripped off the sweatshirt, leaving you in your tiny pajama shorts and bra. Remus muttered a curse under his breath at the sight of you before transfiguring your sweatshirt into a pillow. Sometimes you forgot how talented he was, but it was one of the many reasons why you had fell for him. Remus took a seat on the blanket and held his arms out for you. You graciously accepted his invitation, falling into his lap and burying your head into his chest as his laid down.
“I’m sorry this happened today, my love. It’s terrible timing, really. I had special plans for this evening as well,” Remus sighed into your hair as he stroked your back. You hummed and looked up to him.
“What plans?” You asked in a small voice. You were tired from crying all day, and he could see it in your puffy eyes. He let out a breath as he smiled down at you.
“I had a whole date planned for us tonight. I was going to tell you that I love you,” Remus breathed out, his thumb coming up to stroke your cheek. Your breath hitched.
“You-you love me?” You whispered, pulling yourself up closer to him. He chucked at the sight of you, eyes blown out with hope and a smile teasing the corners of you lips.
“Yes, Y/N. I am hopelessly in love with you, if it wasn’t obvious already,” Remus smiled, pushing himself up to gently lay you on your back. You shook your head, your words suddenly stuck in your throat.
“I-it wasn’t,” you whispered, running your fingers along the top of his shirt, “I love you, too.” Your lips curved into a smile as you watched Remus’ do the same. He pressed his forehead into yours as he stroked your cheek. The two of you stayed like that in a small silence, your hearts beating in your chests.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” Remus chuckled, unable to bear the want within him. He stifled your gasp with his lips, kissing you as if it was the first time. Remus moaned into your mouth, making you want him even more. He was driving you mad. You were completely addicted to him. He had you sending him a pair of your panties for gods sake. You gasped again as his fingers gripped your hips and ground himself into your heat, but any sounds you tried to make were shoved back into your mouth by his tongue. You were drowning in him, and it made you drunk with pleasure. Remus never broke you kiss as his fingers moved swiftly under your shorts, pressing lightly on your clit through your soaking panties. You groaned, throwing your head back, but his lips followed. He couldn’t get enough of you, the sounds of your moans reverberating in his mouth and traveling straight down to his bulge. His thumb played with your clit softly, making you whine as you panted into his mouth. You felt him smile against you.
“Do you like that?” He said, pulling back to catch his breath. You nodded and whined again. “Use your words, love.”
“Y-yes, Remus. It feels so good, please don’t stop,” you whined, the knot in your stomach beginning to form. He hadn’t even removed you panties yet, and you were already so close to coming. He let out a breathy laugh. He could tell you were close.
“Wasn’t planning on it,” he said, moving back to kiss you again. You moaned loudly into his mouth, finding it hard to catch your breath with his tongue down your throat. His left hand came up to grip the back of your head, forcing your mouth further into his as his fingers sped up, keeping the same feather light pressure over the fabric of your panties.
“Mmm,” you tried telling him you were close, but he wouldn’t let your lips free. He nodded and grunted, pressing down slightly harder on your clit as he rubbed you. Your head begin to spin as you lacked air and common sense. It was building up so fast, and your kisses became sloppy as your moans became more frequent. Remus didn’t let up though, continuing to swallow you whole as his fingers moved expertly over your mound, as if he knew every line of pleasure in your body. You whined into his mouth as the knot in your stomach broke, and your pussy flooded with waves of pleasure. Remus moaned alongside you as he felt the wetness beneath the fabric growing. He could feel your nipples pressed against his chest through your flimsy bra, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. He let you ride out your high and shudder in his arms. He finally broke away from his kiss with a gasping breath as he looked down at you. You looked beautiful, he thought. You looked absolutely lust stricken and it was all for him.
“I need this off,” he muttered, removing his hand from your mound and pulling your bra down. He then moved to your shorts, roughly pulling them down along with your panties. You looked a mess, but Remus thought you’d never looked more beautiful. He groaned as he began to kiss down your neck, then to your breasts, down your stomach, and to you bare pussy. He looked up at you through his lashes as you squirm. He chuckled under his breath and gave your wet clit a kiss, making you whine and squirm.
“Remus, please,” you whined, grabbing his hair and pulling him away from your heat. He chuckled and smiled at your with a half grin.
“Tell me what you want, Y/N,” he said huskily, his fingers rubbing your thighs.
“I need you inside me, Rem,” you groaned, pulling his hair again to bring him over you. He couldn’t help but laugh, you looked so cute. And he was more than happy to oblige considering his cock was throbbing for you.
“Anything you want, love,” he said, coming up to his knees and pulling down his sweats. You laid there splayed on his blanket as you watched his cock slap back up to his stomach. You sat up, opening your mouth and looking up at Remus. His smile stayed on his face as he used his hand to pull your head forward, thrusting into your mouth. You moaned around his cock, using your tongue to fully wet him. “Y/N,” he moaned, his head thrown back as he lightly thrust into your mouth. You hummed, grabbing him with both your hands to cover the rest of his length that you couldn’t fit in your mouth. Remus gave it a few more seconds before he pulled himself off of you and laid you back down on the blanket, giving you another wet kiss. His breath was ragged as he lined himself up to you, watching your face as he pushed his length into your wet pussy. He groaned as his head fell into your shoulder, letting you adjust to his size. You kissed the side of his neck letting him know it was okay to move. Slowly, Remus pulled back before thrusting into you again, earning a gasping moan from your lips. He pushed himself up to watch you, both of your faces twisted in pleasure as he began to pick up his rhythm.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, grabbing your waist with his hand.
“Remus,” you moaned, clenching around him. He began to fuck you harder, chasing his own high.
“Fuck, I love you so much,” he said, falling down to kiss you hard as he thrust into you faster. You moaned into his lips as if to say I love you, too while he continued to fuck you deeper. Remus felt like he needed to be closer to you, even though he was as deep as he could go. He went back to suffocating you with his lips, his hand gripping the back of your hand once again to push you up closer to his mouth. With his free hand, he lifting your leg up beneath your thigh, his dick rubbing up against your g-spot with every thrust. You whined shamelessly into his mouth as you felt yourself begin to pulse underneath him. His thrusts were getting sloppy, but he continued to fuck you just as hard.
“Rem,” you gasped, trying to break free of his kiss, “I’m gonna-” he slammed his lips back into yours, thrusting deep inside you to shut you up. Then you were coming again hard, shuddering around Remus has his seed spilled out into your pussy. His thrusts slowed as he pressed his forehead into yours, riding out the last little bit of his orgasm. He began to plant kisses around your face, earning some giggles from you as you hugged around his neck.
“Fuck that was so good,” Remus smiled, dipping down to give you one last kiss. You smiled up at him, beaming. You knew this was only the beginning of what you hoped would be a long relationship with Remus. The two of you took your time that night, joking around and looking at the stars and peppering kissing across the others face. At around 4, Remus insisted he brought you back to the dorm. He didn’t want to get you in anymore trouble than he already had. As the two of you snuck back through the halls you asked,
“If you had this map the whole time, why haven’t you used it before?” Remus stopped in his tracks. The two of you were nearing the common room.
“That bastard,” Remus grumbled, folding the map and placing it in his waistband.
“Remus?” You asked as the two of you entered the common room.
“Don’t worry about it, love,” he said giving you a kiss on the head, “go up to bed. I’ll see you in the morning at breakfast and we’ll get everything figured out.” You nodded as he gave you one last hug before going back to your dorm.
Remus entered his room quietly, buzzing with adrenaline. He found it hard to fall asleep, but eventually his body gave out, and he managed to get a few hours of rest before promptly shooting up in his bed. When he opened his curtain, James was staring at him from his bed.
“James,” Remus said, standing up. James looked away and crossed his arms. “James, please. Just let me explain myself. Let’s go downstairs and talk.” James grumbled but stood up, following Remus’ lead out of the room. Sirius and Peter exchanged a look as they watched, thinking that Remus had to be insane. Remus found an empty corner of the common room and sat down, motioning to a chair for James.
“Whatever you say, you’re not allowed to see her again,” James grunted, the morning still prevalent in his voice. Remus sighed.
“Look, James. I’m sorry you had to find out like this. We were waiting to tell you, I was waiting until she was ready. I know what I did was selfish and unfair to you, but I couldn’t break her trust,” Remus scooted his chair closer, “James, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. She makes me so happy and I can’t imagine my life without her. Please, just give me a chance to show you,” Remus pleaded. James looked up with concern in his eyes, but shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Remus. But I can’t let you date my sister. After you’ve been lying to me all this time, how can I trust you with her?” James said matter of fact, crossing his arms in defiance. Remus rolled his eyes.
“But it’s different with you and Regulus?”
“Wh-what?” He stuttered, taken aback. His face was flushed in a deep shade of red.
“Please, James. You think I haven’t noticed you hoarding the map for the past few months? Plus, you’re really not subtle when you’re staring at him for the entirety of dinner,” Remus muttered, rolling his eyes again at his friend’s hypocrisy. James cleared his throat and sat up.
“What does this have to do with my sister?” James asked in a high pitch strain.
“James, you’re keeping the same secret from Sirius. Do you think that makes your feelings for Regulus any less genuine? I don’t. Just please James, give me a chance to show you how good I can treat her. You know I’m better for Y/N than any other git in this school,” Remus reasoned, finally feeling confident. James pondered this. It was true that if anyone was going to date his little sister, perhaps Remus wouldn’t be the worst choice.
“Fine, but we’re going to have a talk tonight. All three of us,” James said, wagging his finger at Remus. Remus was beaming.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’re not going to regret this, I promise,” Remus stood up and clapped James on the back.
“Um, you’re not going to tell Sirius about Regulus, right?” James asked with a sheepish smile. Remus laughed.
“Of course not, Prongs.”
535 notes · View notes
onmykneesformatt · 1 month
Text
vanilla - c.s.
requested: yes!!
synopsis: after a lengthy relationship, chris decides to try and surprise you on your 7 month anniversary. it doesn’t go how he planned, and he feels bad.
warnings: SMUT OH MY FUCK. just very aggressive (no major abuse or violence), degrading, choking, hair-pulling, overstimulation, use of safe word, aftercare, angst (happy ending tho!!), i don’t think anything else but lmk!!
a/n: i think it’s about time i write smth about chris and feed y’all. so, eat up!! (also i tried to put a picture and it literally wouldn’t let me😭)
you and chris never really thought about kinks or anything like that. you had talked about it, but the furthest you two ever went was just filming it once or twice. even then, it was still very vanilla. it was soft, enjoyable, and not very rough.
chris wanted to change that.
“so, wait. are we going somewhere?”
“we can, but that’s not the surprise.”
chris kind of smirked, knowing that his surprise was not something you expected.
“can you just tell me? it almost dark out and we’be barely done anything all day except for you making me a nice breakfast. which, i did appreciate by the way.”
“you’re welcome, and no. i’m not telling you.”
he tapped his fingertips together and chuckled lightly. he liked surprising you. he’d done it multiple times before. a bouquet on your door step, a new pair of expensive heels, even flying home early from boston and not telling you. it was his thing.
and tonight was a surprise.
-
at 9:30 pm, you started to get ready for bed. you almost did it in protest for how you and chris barely did anything today.
“oooh, what’s this? toner? replace the t with a b.”
he giggled. how dare he? after not giving you a major day like he does every other anniversary?
you kept a straight face, not breaking eye contact with your face in the mirror as you kept applying serums and creams.
“what’s wrong?”
“nothing, chris.”
he knew that whenver you ended a sentence with his name, you were mad.
“look, how about i meet you in the bedroom in five minutes, and make it up to you?”
you let a little smile show, remembering that your surprise to him was a peachy-orange lingerie set that hugged you in all the right places and showed all the right skin.
“fine.”
-
it started slow and sweet, like always.
but it slowly turned into more.
he went from having you on your back with him lightly laying on you to flipping you onto all fours and ripping the new lingerie set off— literally.
“chris-“
“shut up and take it. i know you can, slut.”
it felt good, the way he was pounding into you.
what didn’t feel good was him calling you the one word you didn’t like. after he started pulling your hair, it all felt real.
were you really just some toy he used? was this his breaking point where he realized he didn’t actually like or respect you like he pretended?
“chris, i don’t-“
he pushed your face into the pillow, tightening his grip on your hair.
“i said shut the fuck up. god, you really are just some slut who thinks she can do anything she wants.”
tears started welling in your eyes. they only strengthened when he started swatting your ass and digging his free hand into your back.
it hurt. like, actually hurt. but he wouldn’t listen.
he was never like this. chris? be aggressive? especially in such a vulnerable moment? never. until now.
after almost suffocating with your face in the pillow for what felt like hours, you tried to shift your face over just enough to be able to breathe. it was hard, with his grip on your hair pushing your head down into it.
eventually, you were able to properly breathe. you started breathing heavier and heavier. not from pleasure, but from overstimulation. from pain.
“i- i can’t! chris!”
he could barely hear you over his grunts and the sounds of skin slapping loudly.
“cant.. can’t what? slut can’t use her words now?”
you tried, but he was causing you so much pain that the tears were taking over. so much so, that you just broke.
what he thought were breaths and tears of pleasure started to settle in, and he finally realized. your pillow and face wet with a taste of salt, and your heart pounding so bad you started shaking.
he slowed down, moving your messy, wet hair out of your face.
“vanilla! vanilla!”
your safe word. you never needed it before, but you guys thought of it after having sex the first or second time. he always wanted you to know you were in control of what was happening too. in a sort of inside joke/mockery, he made it “vanilla”.
“hey- hey.”
he took a second to gather himself and pull out, sitting next to you on the bed. your body fell limp on the sheets.
“what’s wrong-“
“no!”
he tried to rub your shoulder, but your yelling frightened him. it should’ve. the way he caused you the pain he did was horrible.
“hey-“
“just- stop! what-“
your crying intensified, leaving him with a concerned look.
“what made you think that was okay?!”
you tried to stand, stabling yourself with a hand on the bed and the other holding a throw blanket to cover your body.
“what do you mean-“
“what do i mean? chris- you just.. started going crazy! it felt good at first, but you pulled my hair, you dug your nails into my back! you- you called me a slut!”
“i thought-“
“no you didn’t! you didn’t think at all!”
it finally hit him.
that word.
the one word he promised to never use.
“baby- i didn’t mean any of it!”
“then why’d you do it!”
tears turning into anger at his stupidity slowly dried up.
“i thought it would be a nice surprise for our anniversary! but, i’m sorry. i forgot about that word.”
that word was used against you everyday in highschool, ever since you gave some kid a handjob at the park. anytime you wore something even slightly revealing. it opened a floodgate for name-calling.
the tears started up again once silence filled the bedroom.
again, chris was never like this. you always thought he would provide the comfort you so desperately needed in your life. however, it seemed like he thought otherwise.
chris stood up, walked around the bed, and engulfed you in his arms. after realizing that he truly didn’t mean it (doesn’t make it okay, but it’s good he realized he was in the wrong), you hugged him back.
“how about we clean up. can i help you with that?”
you sniffled while stepping back from him. you dropped the blanket and wiped your eyes.
“yeah.”
you spoke softly, still trying to catch light breaths.
he grabbed your hand, leading you the bathroom.
he started the shower, grabbing your coconut body wash out of the bathroom closet along with a soft, white towel.
after getting you into the perfectly-warm shower, he started to clean you up. he didn’t let you move a muscle. he made sure you were fully clean and taken care of before even thinking about himself. he grazed your body with the loofah, making sure every inch was perfectly covered.
“i really am sorry, baby. i didn’t mean to take it that far. i think i just got too excited. i’ll never do it again, i can promise you that.”
“a warning would’ve been nice. i get why you did it. throw in a little variety, or whatever. but that word really set me off.”
“i know, i know.”
he kissed the back of your damp head, making sure you knew he meant his sorrow.
“i forgot. but, no excuse. how about now i dry you off and get you into some comfy clothes, hm?”
his tone was low but sweet. your heart stopped racing, your breath caught up, and your mind was at ease.
“okay.”
after he dried you off, still not letting you do it yourself, he grabbed your hand to lead back into the bedroom. while you were sat patiently on the edge of the bed, he rummaged through drawers and shelves looking for your favorite sleep shirt and a pair of under wear with comfortable shorts.
“this good?”
“yes. thank you.”
“stand up, please.”
you dropped your towel, letting him glide the extra large graphic tee over your head. you lifted each leg as he slid the underwear up, then doing the same with the loose shorts.
“get comfy in bed, i got some treats for you earlier.”
“really? thank you, chris.”
“anything for my girl. she deserves nothing but the best, so i try all for her.”
he kissed your forehead before you slid into the bed, pulling the thick comforter over your body and turning on your favorite show.
-
you fell asleep in eachothers arms, but not until he gave you a lengthy apology.
you know he didn’t mean it, but he needed you to remember he wouldn’t do it again.
his heartbeat under your head lulled you into a deep slumber. a soft, orange light coming from the lamp in the corner of the bedroom mixed with the tv still playing your favorite show made just enough light for you to not have any other worries that night. an open bag of the tastiest chocolate on the nightstand next to two open soda cans had filled your stomach and your heart. the soft laugh tracks in the background and fan lightly blowing on you gave you the comfort you needed.
the biggest comfort was chris’ concern.
he loves you.
you love him.
that’s all you need.
-
AHHHH ITS DONEEEEEEE!!!!! i pray that this is as good as y’all are expecting 😭😭 but seriously though, i thank y’all for the support. i’m at 300 followers already (WHAT THE FUCK) and i couldn’t have done it without you guys. love y’all!! mwah!!💋❣️🌺
taglist: @sleepysturniolo @suyqa @jessie-essie @sturnsobsessed
sorry if i missed anyone that wanted to be tagged!!
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seungfl0wer · 3 months
Text
*Han Calling You Clingy*
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Pairing: Han x Reader (GN)
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol, Reader Gets drunk, Not proof Read
Buckled up for this one yall it hurted me ngl. I also while putting it all together realized i in fact of course messed up a part of the messages. So I am sorry in advance 🥲
This is part of a series. Find the others here:
Bangchan, Changbin, Minho, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin
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-🩵
Today was Han and yours 3 year anniversary. You had planned a nice dinner and a surprise for him after you both got home. You made reservations at one of his favorite restaurants and even got a new outfit for it. Hans been busy with the new album the last few weeks, he’s been super stressed and you know this would definitely help wind him down a bit.
You had told him a few times about the dinner because he forgets things easily. He was doing some work at the studio right now but he said he’d meet you there for dinner since he had to finish some things up. You put on your cute outfit and got yourself all ready to leave the house. You texted him “I’m leaving the house now! See you soon😘” before heading out.
About 15 mins had passed since you had gotten there for your reservation. You had gotten seated and gotten a drink. You were getting nervous that he had forgotten so you texted him a simple “hey babe did you leave yet?” It was radio silent after another 10 minutes you texted again.
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Everything in you wanted to cry I mean you had a few tears but you quickly wiped them away. You sat there for a moment in honest shock of what to do. The love of your life is standing you up, yelling at you and forgot your anniversary. What the actual fuck. You waved the waiter over, got the check for your drink and left. You didn’t wanna go home you wanted to find jisung and punch him in his cute stupid face.
Driving home you stopped at a park close to your house. You sat there and cried. You cried hard your chest heaving feeling like your heart was thrown at the wall and smashed with a bat. You punched your steering wheel and just deflated. You had gotten a call from a friend of yours who asked if you and ji wanted to go to the bar with him and his gf. You sniffled trying not to cry on the phone but he knew something was up. He drove to where you were, him and his gf both were friends of yours. So when you saw them you just bursted into tears again.
The consoled you for a bit before asking what you wanted to do. “You know what- fuck it let’s go to the bar” you said. You wanted to numb the pain just wanted to drink everything away. To come home and just puke all of jisung stuff. The both nodded, they followed you to your house to drop your car off and drove to the bar. It didn’t take long for you to start taking shots back. You just wanted to forget the night and to forget Jisung.
It was late, you were plastered you had gotten a text from Jisung who must have just gotten home to see the surprise you had laid out for him. You had gotten him a new guitar that he’s been wanting it was placed on the bed with a note. The note read.
“Hannie! The actual love of my life. I can’t believe it’s been 3 years! Were you surprised? I bet you were! I just wanted to tell you I love you so much. I appreciate you and I know you’ve been working so hard so I hope today relieved some of that stress. I love you my sweets. Happy 3 years! I hope for many many more. -love your amazing loving girlfriend.”
Han choked back tears realizing what he had done. He had forgotten your anniversary but most importantly he had yell at you when all you were trying to do was make him happy. He broke down in tears, curled up on the floor in a little bawl. He could feel his chest tightening, he was scared. He didn’t know where you were, what you might have done or if you were safe.
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Your phone ended up dying not knowing the floods of texts you were about to get. You didn’t know it but you started to cry. Your friends helped you to the car, the boy not drinking at all that night drove you to their place. He put you in the guest room while the girl put some water by your bed, a bucket and put your phone on the charger. You curled up knocked out cold from crying and the alcohol. You woke up around 5am feeling your head pounding. You couldn’t remember much of anything from the night.
You picked your phone up not even looking at the texts and called Jisung. He answered it immediately in a frenzy. “Y/n!” He said his voice horse from crying. Your head spun as you slurred “ji can come to (friend’s name) I wanna cuddle.” Jisung was confused but he didn’t ask questions “of course I’ll be there in 5.” He said basically sprinting to his car. “Mkay, ima gonna walk down to the door.” You said fumbling to get to your feet. Jisung drove like a madman he even ran a red light.
His heart dropped seeing you slumped over trying to stay awake at the door “hey I’m here” he said as he opened the door taking your hand. You fell into his chest holding onto him with a death grip. You started to sob, you cried so hard but in your dazed state you didn’t know why you were crying.
Jisung clung to you rubbing your back trying not to cry himself, he pulled you to the car getting you to sit in the back. Where you promptly laid down and just cried. Jisung drove just as fast as home one hand on the wheel and the other rubbing your head to try to calm you. Your cries had almost completely stopped as you pulled into your place. Jisung left out a soft sigh the tears he was choking back were bursting at the seems. He held them back until he got you safely into the room laying you down.
He wanted to leave you alone knowing you were hurting still but you quickly pulled him into bed with you. He curled up with you as you both laid there, your eyes half opened “I’m sorry for being so clingy” you said. Your voice sounded so sad so meek. “I don’t wanna ever be a bother to you” you kept going on. The tears he had choked back finally broke and it started to flood.
He held you close crying hard trying to get out the words he wanted to say “don’t you dare apologize” he croaked out. “You did absolutely nothing wrong, it was all me” he said rubbing your head. “Don’t you think for a second you did anything.”
You both ended up drifting to sleep both of your heads spinning as you woke up. You looked over at jisung his eyes puffy and his chest still heaving from the nights happenings. You read through all the messages he had sent and sighed softly. You were still hurt by his words and it was gonna take some to comeback from but he was genuinely sorry. The way he clung to you told you that alone. He was afraid you were gonna leave. That thought really never crossed your mind but he knew he fucked up bad enough that it could be a reason to leave. He’s never yelled before let alone said anything mean towards you. You knew he was hurting from what he said but so were you.
You thought to yourself though laying there in his arms “i do very much love him but he’s gonna have to do some heavy groveling to make it up to you” you smiled a bit.
💙 if you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open feel free to send me something🩵
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itneverendshere · 3 months
Text
THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - four
request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛"
warnings: angst; gun violence; blood;
word count: 7.1k
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You woke up confused staring at the oddly familiar ceiling, filled with posters ripped from the old magazines you’d gotten at a second-hand store. When you were sixteen is sounded like a great edgy idea. 
You were home.
What the—? How? 
Sitting up, the room felt stifling, the air thick with the stale smell of old wood and the faintest hint of your father’s cigarette smoke, a scent you had hoped never to encounter again. The heavy feeling in your chest wasn’t just the dread of being back; it was the memories flooding back, threatening to drown you.
The sound of a muffled argument seeped through the thin walls, pulling you back to the present. Your heart pounded in your ears as you recognized the angry, slurred voice of your father.
He was shouting at someone, probably your brother, just like he used to. The familiar clinking of bottles and the crash of something being thrown sent a shiver down your spine.
No. This wasn't real. This couldn’t be real.
You swung your legs over the side of the bed, feeling the rough crappy carpet under your feet. You stood up shakily. The hallway stretched out before you, longer than it should have been, and the flickering light cast eerie shadows on the peeling wallpaper.
As you approached the living room, the noise grew louder, more distinct. Your father’s voice, filled with venom and rage, scared the living hell out of you.
You reached the doorway and peered in, your breath catching in your throat. There he was, towering over your JJ, his face twisted in anger. Your little brother was cowering, trying to make himself as small as possible, his eyes filled with fear. The scene was a haunting echo of so many nights you’d tried to forget.
“No,” you whispered, fear bubbling up inside you. “This isn’t happening.”
But it was.
Your father, with his disheveled hair and red-rimmed eyes, swung the bottle in his hand dangerously close to JJ’s head. Each wave of the bottle sent droplets of amber liquid flying, dotting the floor like gruesome confetti. JJ flinched with every movement, tears streaming down his cheeks, and the sight made your heart ache.
“Get out of my sight, you worthless—” your father roared, his voice a terrifying growl.
“No!” you screamed, stepping into the room before you even realized you were moving. “Stop it!”
Your father turned, his bloodshot eyes narrowing as they focused on you. For a moment, he only stared, probably to drunk to realize it was his own daughter.
Then, recognition set in, and his scowl deepened.
“You,” he spat, disgusted by your sight, “You think you can just walk back in here and tell me what to do?”
You couldn’t back down, not now. Not ever again.
“Leave him alone,” you said, your voice trembling, “He’s a child!”
Your father took a menacing step toward you, the bottle still clutched in his hand. “You’ve got some nerve, coming back here and talking to me like that. Looking exactly like her!”
Every instinct screamed at you to run, but you stood there. “I’m not afraid of you Luke,” you lied through your teeth.
His eyes flared with rage, and he raised the bottle, ready to hit you. You tensed up, waiting for the blow.
“Dad, please!” JJ’s voice broke through the tension, “Don’t hurt her.”
JJ’s plea just hung there, like this thin, fragile thread barely holding things together. For a second, your dad froze, his hand twitching, eyes darting between you and your brother.
And then, with this pissed-off roar, he chucked the bottle at the wall. It exploded into a million pieces, glass flying everywhere. The sound echoed through the house, loud and final, like it was the last brutal note in this nightmare that felt way too real.
“You’re a coward, you know that? Hitting your own children. You’re trash.” you spat out, the words flying from your mouth before you could stop them.
His face twisted, “What did you say to me?” He lunged at you, his hands going straight for your throat.
Panic hit hard as his grip tightened around your throat, stealing your breath. You clawed at his hands, desperate to break free, but he was way too strong, too determined.
Dark spots started creeping into your vision. You gasped, fighting for air, but he only squeezed harder. The room blurred and started spinning, and just when you thought you were about to pass out, his face began to change, shifting right in front of you. You blinked, trying to clear your head, and when you opened your eyes again, it wasn’t your dad choking you anymore.
It was Rafe.
Rafe's face, with a sickening grin, loomed over you. His eyes, filled with a cold, calculating malice, bore into yours. “You thought I’d be any different?” he sneered. “You signed your death sentence, pogue.”
The fear was paralyzing, like ice-cold dread flooding through your veins.Your heart hammered against your chest, but you couldn’t scream, couldn’t shout for help. His grip was solid, unbreakable, like he had no intention of letting go.
You struggled with everything you had, but it was like fighting through quicksand. Every move felt slow, heavy, like you were trapped in molasses.
As the edges of your vision began to fade, a new sound cut through the suffocating haze – JJ’s voice, calling your name. “Sis! Please, wake up! Wake up!”
With a final, desperate burst of energy, you tore yourself away from Rafe, his grip suddenly gone. You were falling, tumbling through darkness, and then–
You jolted awake, gasping for breath, your body drenched in sweat. The familiar ceiling of the motel room came into focus. The terror of the nightmare clung to you, and it made it hard to breathe.
Your hands went to your throat, feeling for bruises that weren’t there. It was just a dream, you told yourself, trying to calm your racing heart. Just a nightmare.
As your breath began to steady, you turned your head, feeling the sheets rustle against your skin.
The dim light of the room cast long shadows, and your heart sank when you saw Rafe lying next to you, his chest rising and falling in a deep, peaceful slumber. He was naked, his body partially covered by the sheets, a reminder of what you’d done hours ago.
A wave of nausea hit you, your stomach twisting with disgust — at him, at yourself. The nightmare still clung to you, the image of his hands around your throat fresh and terrifying, making it hard to process how he could sleep so soundly. You slipped out of bed as quietly as you could, not wanting to wake him, and hurriedly grabbed your clothes, dressing in silence.
Standing in the cramped bathroom, you splashed cold water on your face, hoping it would wash away the nightmare. The coolness gave you a quick moment of clarity, but the dread still clung to you, heavy and unshakable. You stared at yourself in the mirror — pale, tired, and haunted.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm down. You needed to leave, clear your head, figure out what the hell to do next. Quietly, you slipped out of the bathroom, grabbed your keys from the nightstand, and took one last glance at Rafe. He was still asleep, completely clueless about the fear swirling inside you.
The motel hallway was dark and dead silent, except for the low hum of the vending machine down the hall. You made your way to the exit, and the cool night air hit your skin like a slap of reality. It was like stepping out of one world and into another — the difference so harsh, it almost felt unreal.
You walked a few more steps, but suddenly everything started spinning. Your vision blurred, and you felt lightheaded, your legs giving out as you slumped against the wall, struggling to breathe.
The panic attack hit you full force, your chest tightening, and your mind racing. You couldn't let Rafe see you like this. You couldn't let anyone see you like this. You sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest, trying to focus on something, anything, to calm yourself down. You started counting your breaths, focusing on each inhale and exhale, trying to slow your racing heart. You thought of JJ, of how much he needed you to be strong.
You couldn't fall apart now.
You kept counting, kept breathing, the cool air helping to clear your head. Slowly, the tightness in your chest began to ease. The world started to come back into focus, the shadows in the hallway retreating.
You wiped away the tears that had slipped down your cheeks and stood up, feeling a little more in control.
Sleeping around—no, not just sleeping, practically baring your soul to one of the people that had destroyed your life? That had taunted and beaten your brother? Your friends? That killed a cop and got away with it? The thoughts circled in your mind. You were a dirty traitor.
The cold didn't couldn’t wash away the shame eating you alive. How did it come to this? How did you go from hating Rafe to being tangled up with him like this? 
You thought of JJ, of your friends, the people who had been there for you through everything. They’d never understand.
Hell, you didn’t even understand it yourself. You stopped and leaned against a lamppost, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. You had to sort through this mess, had to figure out what was real and what was just the lingering effects of captivity and longing. Maybe you were holding on to the only person who managed to pull you out of Ward’s grasp, fooling yourself into finding some good in someone who had caused so much pain. 
An hour later, you made your way back to the motel, the guilt and self-doubt threatening to consume you entirely. You couldn't ignore the feeling that you'd betrayed everything you stood for by letting Rafe into your life, even if it was just for a moment of weakness.
As you got closer to the entrance, you spotted him at the front desk. He looked a mess — worried, disheveled, like he’d just woken up and thrown on some shorts in a rush. His face was tight with tension as he talked to the front desk guy, hands moving wildly, gesturing around like he was freaking out. 
Your pulse pounded as you walked in, not sure of what to say, what to do, how to approach him. The nightmare was still fresh.
Rafe's voice cut through the air, his tone urgent, "How the fuck did you not see her leave? Did someone take her?”
The front desk guy shook his head, his expression apologetic.
"Sir, I haven't seen anyone come through here."
With a deep breath, you stepped forward, revealing yourself, "I'm here," you said quietly, voice rough from not speaking since you woke up.
Rafe's head snapped up, his blue eyes widening in relief as he caught sight of you. "Thank God," he breathed, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “Fucking hell, Maybank.”
His arms were around you in an instant, his warmth enveloping you. You should feel repulsed.
His hands rested gently on your back; fingers splayed wide. For a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his embrace for the last time, the tension in your shoulders easing ever so slightly. And then, you pushed him away, your movements sharp. His hands fell away from you. The hurt in his eyes cut through you like a punch, but you couldn’t bring yourself to think much of it. It was you or him.
You took a step back, putting some distance between you and Rafe, needing the space to breathe, to think, to figure out what came next.
Your gaze flickered to the floor, unable to meet his eyes, unable to face the consequences of your stupid actions, "Just needed some air," you muttered, “Sorry for not leaving a note.”
Rafe's expression shifted from relief to concern as he watched you, his brows furrowing.
"You okay?"
You still couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, "I'm fine," you replied, your voice lacking conviction even to your own ears. "Just felt a little nauseous.”
His hand reached out tentatively as if he wanted to comfort you, but he hesitated, letting it fall back to his side. “I just woke up and you were gone, and I...I panicked."
You hated the fact you could pinpoint the sincerity in his voice so easily. It nearly killed you. 
“We should go back.”
"Will you... will you be okay?" he asked, his voice hesitant.
You nodded, trying to muster up a reassuring smile, but it felt hollow and insincere. "I'll be fine," you lied, the words tasted bitter on your tongue, “Just need some rest.”
“Okay. Okay, yeah, let’s go back.”
As you stepped inside the room, he watched you carefully, as if he was afraid you would’ve disappeared again at any given moment. He tried to reach out and grab your arm, but you moved too quickly, and he was left grasping air.
You offered him a weak smile, ignoring the look on his face.
"I'm sorry for leaving like that," you said, your voice tinged with genuine regret. "I’m fine.”
You didn’t think he believed you. He was watching you so closely. He took in how disheveled you looked. The mess of your hair, and barely laced-up shoes so you could get out the door faster. He was smart enough to read your bullshit, but he only took a deep breath to calm himself.
“Is this about last night?”
Your body froze instantly. What were you supposed to tell him? Lie? Tell him the truth and make him hate himself even more? Keep your pain down to hold his?
“It was a mistake.”
You went straight to the chase.
He stalked closer to you, and you took a step back reflexively, “A mistake?” he echoed between labored breaths, “A mistake?”
“Yeah," you stammered, trying to articulate your thoughts, "It's not right. We, we're just lonely."
You despised yourself for even hinting at it, but the tumultuous month spent with him had been bewildering, to say the least. You questioned whether you were truly good for each other. You couldn't be.
"I thought..." he began, his voice trailing off. The vulnerability in his voice pierced your skin, a consequence of your actions. But you needed to put yourself first.
“I’m sorry.”
Rafe's face contorted, his features tightening into a mask of disbelief. And you couldn’t blame him for whatever he was about to unleash on you. You probably deserved it.
“So, what? You're just gonna walk away?" He tried to bark, but his voice quivered from grief, “Stop looking at me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” He scoffed, lips twisting into a sneer, as he started to pace around the room, his movements restless and agitated. “That’s funny.”
Rafe could act cold and stoic all he wanted; you could hear the hurt in his voice and sense the sadness in the words. He sounded broken.
"You're angry,” Your mouth ran dry, your heart lurching into your throat. "I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he seethed, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine, “Angry? You think you mean enough to me to make me angry?”
His words struck you like a physical blow, a slap to the face. You recoiled instinctively, even though you knew he didn't mean it.
"I don't know what I mean to you," you admitted quietly as you struggled to maintain your composure. "I just know that I can't keep doing this."
Rafe's laughter was bitter and mocking, "Can't keep doing this?" he repeated, his voice laced with derision. "And what, exactly, is 'this'? Fucking? You can’t even say it.”
“You’re being an asshole.”
"An asshole?" he spat, "Is that what you think of me?"
You held his gaze, refusing to back down despite the hurting coursing through your veins. "You're acting like one.”
“Maybank,” His voice was still harsh as he lowered his head to try and meet your eyes. He was close enough that you were able to smell him, "You don't know anything about me, remember? Maybe the fucking really did confuse you.”
“Stop it,” Your voice broke a little, fighting the waterworks that were threatening to run down your cheeks, “Stop making it sound like it meant nothing to you.”
His eyes shut tightly, “Why are you doing this?”
“Because it’s wrong! Rafe—don’t you see it? I can’t do this, not with you of all fucking people, okay?”
He looked down at the carpet, a look of shame falling over his features as he ran a hand over his face, “You knew who I was since the beginning.”
You felt so much frustration rising within you, "Yeah, and every time I look at you now, I see everything that's wrong with me."
“And whose fault is that? Hmm? You said you didn’t want to stop. You wanted it, you wanted me.”
You staggered back, feeling as if the ground beneath your feet was unsteady.
"I wanted it," Rafe repeated, fingers digging into his chest, "I wanted you."
You wanted to reach out to him, hug him as you had just hours ago, but you knew you couldn’t.
“We can’t.”
His eyes were slightly dewy, a somewhat defeated look to his gaze as he walked towards the door.
“Well, congrats Maybank. You won.”
The sound of the door slamming echoed through the room, the finality of it hitting you like a punch to the gut. You stood there, motionless, as the silence enveloped you. Why did it feel like this was going to crush you?
You sank to the floor, your back against the wall, and the tears came in a torrent, for the second time that morning. Sobs wracked your body, each one more painful than the last, as the reality of your situation became clear as day. You had pushed him away, and hurt him, but what other choice did you have? 
The quiet without him was almost eerie. You weren't used to being alone anymore. You couldn't deny that you had felt something for Rafe, something more than just anger and resentment.
But it was twisted, born out of shared trauma and desperation, wasn’t it? It had to be. It was the only explanation that made sense.
Wiping your tear-streaked face with trembling hands, you tried to gather yourself. You still needed to get home. In five days. How the fuck were you going to live in the same room with Rafe for five days after what went down?
You sat on the motel room floor for what felt like hours, the silence driving you up the walls. Eventually, exhaustion won out, and you crawled into bed, your mind too restless to allow for more than fitful dozing.
It was around 4 a.m. when the door to the motel room creaked open, startling you awake. You sat up, your heart pounding, straining to see in the dark. The figure that stumbled through the door was unmistakable: Rafe. His movements were unsteady, his clothes disheveled, and the sharp scent of alcohol hit you even from across the room.
“Rafe?”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned heavily against the doorframe, his eyes unfocused. He looked lost.
The anger that had driven him was gone, replaced by a hollow, almost haunted look. You had done that to him.
You got out of bed, approaching him cautiously, “What are you doing?”
He finally looked at you, his eyes bloodshot, “I... I couldn’t stay away,” he slurred, his words thick with the effects of too much alcohol. “I tried, but...”
You sighed, “Rafe, you’re drunk. You need to sit down.”
He let you guide him to the bed, his body heavy and uncooperative. Once he was seated, you grabbed a bottle of water from the small table and handed it to him.
“Drink this,” you instructed.
He took a sip, his hands shaking slightly. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, staring down at the floor. “For everything.”
It was the first time he ever apologized to you.
You didn’t know what to say. Part of you wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was okay, but another part of you was still reeling from earlier.
“You need to sleep this off."
He nodded but didn’t move.
Instead, he reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “I don’t want to be like him,” he confessed, “I can't."
If you allowed him to keep sputtering out his drunken thoughts you would’ve ended up crying your eyes out again, so instead you squeezed his hand, “Let’s just sleep, okay?”
He nodded again, his eyes drifting shut as the exhaustion and alcohol finally took their toll. You helped him lie down, covering him with the sheets. As you laid back down, you watched Rafe’s breathing even out, his face softening in sleep. 
That night? It never happened. It felt like everything was happening all over again.
Rafe didn’t spare you a glance from the moment he woke up, choosing to care for his hangover by himself. You and he moved around each other like ghosts, the motel room becoming a prison. You barely slept, the nightmares coming back, leaving you exhausted and on edge.
Every time you closed your eyes, you saw your father, Rafe, or the hauntings of your past, blending into a tiring cycle of fear. You knew he’d been having nightmares as well, but you pretended to be asleep every time he woke up, chest heaving. He never asked for you help.
He seemed so caught in his torment. You could see it in the way he clenched his jaw, the way his hands would flex into fists and then relax as if he was battling some inner demon. He avoided you, constantly, and when he did speak, his words were clipped and distant.
Your shared meals were silent, the clinking of cutlery the only sound breaking the oppressive quiet. Even the TV stayed off.
On the fifth night, you lay awake in the dark, listening to the rhythm of Rafe's breathing from the other bed. It was uneven, indicating he was also awake. Maybe you should've kept quiet, but his druken monologue was still very much killing you inside.
“You’re not gonna end up like him.”
Rafe's breathing hitched, and you could almost feel his eyes on you through the darkness.
"I mean it," you continued, turning slightly to face his silhouette. "You're not your father."
He didn't respond immediately, but you sensed a subtle change in his posture. Finally, he sighed, "How can you be so sure?" he murmured.
You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Because I've seen you. I've seen the parts of you that fight against becoming him. The parts that want to be better. And that matters."
He let out a bitter laugh. "I'm not sure it’s enough.”
“It is.”
“It’s not, Maybank. I’ve done enough damage for a lifetime. It’s the reason why you’re sleeping on the other side of the bed instead of right next to me.”
You wanted to reach out, to reassure him that he wasn’t alone, but you knew it wasn’t that simple. 
“I’m still here,” you said softly, “I’m not leaving.”
“You already did.”
Ouch.
Before you could utter a single word, he turned his back to you.
“We’re leaving tomorrow. Sleep.”
“Rafe—”
“Goodnight.”
It took you hours to fall asleep. You lay in bed the events of the past weeks replaying in your mind. You thought of Rafe, of the hurt in his eyes, the way he had looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. That didn't matter anymore to him.
The next morning, you didn’t bother much with packing, only shoving the pieces of clothing you’d collected in a backpack. It felt torturous, to be so close to Rafe yet so far away. He didn’t speak a word as he packed his things, his movements stiff and mechanical. You wanted to break the silence, but every time you opened your mouth, the words seemed to stick in your throat.
The taxi drive to the port was just as unbearable. You stared out the window, watching the landscape blur past, your mind racing with thoughts of what could have been, what should have been. 
Once you arrived, you and Rafe stepped out, the silence between you as impenetrable as ever. It was over. He took the lead, heading towards the ticket booth with his shoulders hunched, and you followed.
You were still scared shitless of those men. They were only helping you because at some point Rafe had helped them smuggle drugs into the States, and that did not leave you the least bit reassured over their intentions. 
Finding a spot on the deck, you both settled into a tense silence, the hum of the boat’s engine and the cries of seagulls filling the void between you. The beauty of the scene did little to ease the anxiety tightening in your chest.
He leaned against the railing, his gaze fixed on the horizon, his face still void of any emotion.
You watched him for a moment, torn between wanting to reach out to him and the fear that doing so would only make things worse.
Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, you cleared your throat.
“Rafe,” you began hesitantly, “I—”
Before you could finish, he turned to you, his expression weary. “We don’t have to talk about it,” he said, his voice flat. “Not now.”
Not ever, that's what he meant.
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Okay.”
“Just stay low, stay quiet. My dad got eyes everywhere.”
From the corner of your eye you spotted one of the men. Tall, burly, with a scar running down his cheek. He simply nodded towards the cargo boat and for a minute you’re taken back to your first day stuck with the Cameron’s, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong.
Rafe walked in front of you again, entering the ship, rounding his way through the halls behind the sketchy guy, only stopping when he knocked on a door, after a moment, it swung open to reveal a bald shot man, eyes way too big for his face, which flicked over you and Rafe, a predatory smile curling his lips.
“Well, well, look who decided to show up,” he drawled, his voice laced with mockery. “You’re late.”
“Had some complications,” Rafe replied curtly, his posture tense.
You didn't like it one bit.
“Complications, huh? Well, come on in”
You followed Rafe inside, heart racing. The interior of the room was pretty dark, the air thick with the smell of smoke and something you couldn’t quite identify. Nor did you want to. 
“Rafe,” the older man announced, his voice cold and commanding. “I was starting to think you’d forgotten about our arrangement.”
“Never,” Rafe replied, his tone clipped. “I brought the money.”
He handed over a thick envelope, and the man behind the desk took it, flipping through the bills with a practiced eye. After a moment, he nodded, satisfied.
“Good,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Now, let’s discuss the other part of our deal.”
Rafe stiffened. “I told you, I’m out. I’m not running anything for you anymore.”
The man’s eyes narrowed, his smile turning dangerous. “I don’t think you understand. You don’t get to just walk away.”
You felt a chill run down your spine. This wasn't the plan. Right? The man behind the desk stood up, his gaze shifting to you.
“And who’s this?” he asked, his tone menacing.
“No one,” Rafe said quickly. “She has nothing to do with this.”
The man chuckled, a low, sinister sound. “Oh, I think she has everything to do with this.”
He took a step towards you, and instinctively, you backed away, Rafe moving to place himself between you and the older man, “Leave her out of this.”
“You see, your daddy dearest called in last night. Told me about a loose piece he had to get rid off…a pretty one. Guess this is her?”
"That's none of your business," Rafe growled, his voice filled with a warning, body still shielding yours.
The older man laughed, the sound grating against your nerves.
"Oh, but it is my business, Rafe. You see, your daddy and I, we go way back. And when he asks for a favor, I don't say no."
You knew this had to be a trap.
"Rafe, we need to go," you whispered urgently, tugging on his arm.
He didn't move, his eyes locked on the man before him. "We're leaving."
The man smirked, his gaze shifting between you and Rafe. "You think you can just walk out of here? You're in deep, Cameron. And now, so is she."
Rafe's jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists. "We're not doing this.”
The older man took a step closer, his eyes gleaming with malicious intent. 
"You have two choices, Rafe. You either do as I say, or she pays the price like Ward asked.”
Your heart pounded in your chest, fear coursing through your veins. You couldn't let Rafe get pulled back into this world, but you couldn't think about what might happen to both of you if you stayed.
"Rafe, please," you pleaded, your voice trembling at that point.
Rafe’s gaze flicked to you as if he was memorizing your features, from your eyes down to your lips. Oh hell no. You could see the gears turning inside his brain and it made you sick to your stomach when he took a deep breath, his eyes hardening with resolve.
“Run.”
Before you could protest, Rafe launched himself at the older man, tackling him to the ground. The suddenness of the movement caught everyone off guard, but you knew you had to act quickly.
Heart pounding, you turned and bolted out of the room, dropping your backpack in the process, your footsteps echoing down the dimly lit corridor.
Behind you, you could hear the sounds of struggle—grunts, crashes, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor. You didn’t dare look back, knowing that every second counted. Rafe had told you to run.
The ship's layout was confusing, with identical-looking hallways and doors leading to who-knew-where. You sprinted through the maze of metal and dim lights, your breath coming in ragged gasps. The distant sound of shouting and commotion indicated that the fight wasn't over. You turned a corner and collided with one of the burly men from earlier.
He grabbed your arm like you were some kind of animal, “Where do you think you’re going?” he snarled.
You stomped on his foot and jabbed your elbow into his ribs, wrenching your arm free as he grunted in pain. Without wasting a second, you continued running, your legs burning.
You burst onto the deck, the cold, salty air hitting you like a slap. The early morning light was just beginning to brighten the horizon, casting long shadows across the deck. You looked around frantically, searching for any means of escape. Your eyes landed on a lifeboat secured to the side of the ship. Without hesitation, you made your way towards it, fumbling with the ropes that held it in place. Your fingers were shaking, but you managed to free the boat. As you were about to lower it into the water, a rough hand grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. It was the man with the scar, his face twisted in anger.
“Going somewhere?” he sneered.
You tried to fight him off, but he was too strong.
Just when you thought all hope was lost, a loud bang echoed across the deck. The man with the scar froze, his grip loosening. You took the opportunity to break free, scrambling away from him.
Rafe stood at the entrance to the deck, a gun in his hand and determination in his eyes. The man with the scar raised his hands slowly, backing away.
“You okay?” Rafe asked.
“I think so.”
“Come here.”
Without thinking, you ran to him, your heart pounding with relief. He was okay. You were okay.
His arms wrapped around your lower back tightly, and gently pulled you back, his eyes searching your face to make sure you were okay, but before you could assure him you were fine, he kissed you.
It felt so…real, it nearly brought you to your knees. As cheesy as it sounded, it felt like time stood still for you, the rest of the world ceasing to exist. 
Until reality broke you again.
Rafe's body tensed suddenly. You heard a muffled sound, like a distant pop, but it took a moment for your mind to register what had happened. His grip on you loosened, and he staggered, his breath hitching in pain. No, no, no, no.
"Rafe?” You caught him as he fell to his knees, eyes darting around, searching for the source of the shot. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head as you watched a showdown between the so-called human traffickers and the fucking police. This had to be a fucking nightmare, no way, were you getting caught in a crossfire. 
Rafe clutched his side, blood seeping through his fingers, staining his white shirt. His face was scarily pale, and he struggled to stay upright.
"You need to...get out of here," he managed to say, his voice strained, “Right now.”
“I’m not leaving you, you fuckin—Shit, Rafe. Fuck!” You looked around frantically, your heart pounding in your chest. "Can you walk?" you asked, trying to keep the panic from your voice, you didn't want to scare him.
“Does it look like I can walk, pretty Maybank?”
A sob broke through you, “Don’t try to be fucking funny, you got shot!”
“Baby, you—“ he coughed, blood seeping through his teeth, "You gotta go home.”
"Stop talking!" you repeated, your voice trembling with desperation.
You looked around again, trying to find a way out, a way to save him, anything. But the chaos around you was too much. The police and the traffickers were in a fierce shootout, bullets whizzing through the air, ricocheting off metal, and splintering wood. There was nowhere to run.
Rafe's hand tightened weakly around yours.
"Listen to me," he said, his voice just a whisper. "You have to...Go gome."
Tears streamed down your face as you shook your head. "I can't leave you here."
You knew you had to move, had to find help, but leaving him there felt like tearing your heart out. As you turned to peek around one final time, you heard a shout from behind you.
"Freeze!" a police officer yelled, his gun trained on you.
You stopped, your hands raised, your mind racing. "Please, help him," you begged, pointing to Rafe. "He's been shot."
The officer's eyes flicked to Rafe, then back to you. "We need to secure the area first," he said, his tone firm but not unkind.
"Please," you repeated, your voice breaking. "He's dying."
The officer hesitated, then spoke into his radio. "Officer down, need medical assistance immediately."
Another officer approached, his gun drawn, and you saw his gaze soften as he took in Rafe's condition. "We'll get him help," he assured you, "but we need to get you out of here safely."
“I’m not leaving without him,” You made the mistake to glance back one last time, your heart breaking as you saw Rafe's eyes close, his body slumping against the ground, “No, no, no! Keep your eyes open, I swear to god—” Your hands trembled as you tried to staunch the flow of blood with your already stained clothing, "Stay with me," you pleaded, your voice cracking. 
His eyes fluttered open briefly, a weak smile touching his lips, "Go."
Before you could tell him off, you felt hands grip your shoulders, pulling you back. "We need to get you to safety," one of the officers said firmly, trying to drag you away from Rafe.
"No! Let me go! I can't leave him!" you screamed, fighting against their hold.
"Ma'am, we need to get you out of the line of fire," the officer insisted, his grip tightening as he pulled you to your feet.
Through your tears, you saw more officers surrounding Rafe, their voices urgent as they called for medical assistance. You watched helplessly as they began to administer first aid, their movements efficient and hurried.
As the officers dragged you away against your will, your eyes never left Rafe. "Please, don't let him die," you sobbed, your voice breaking with despair.
"We're doing everything we can," one of the officers reassured you, guiding you towards the edge of the deck where a police boat was waiting.
You stumbled, your legs weak with fear and exhaustion, but the officers held you steady. As you were helped onto the police boat, you turned back one last time, your heart breaking at the sight of Rafe lying on the deck, surrounded by officers and paramedics. You clutched the railing, your knuckles white, as the boat pulled away from the ship, the distance between you and Rafe growing with each passing second.
The journey back to shore was nothing but a blur of sirens, flashing lights, and the distant sound of helicopter blades cutting through the air. The police officers tried to reassure you, but you wouldn't rest until you saw him again. Alive.
When the boat finally docked, paramedics rushed forward, checking you for injuries, while police officers asked you questions about what had happened. You answered them mechanically, your mind still focused on Rafe, praying that he would survive. Hours seemed to pass in a haze of questions, medical checks, and statements. You told them everything. Finally, you were allowed to sit down and a police officer approached you.
"Rafe Cameron is being taken to the hospital," he said gently. "He's in critical condition, but the paramedics are doing everything they can."
You nodded numbly, "Can I see him?"
“’No visitors will be allowed, kid. We checked your backgrounds. If he survives, he’ll be taken into custody, his father is Ward Cameron, the feds are going to need him.”
You nearly threw up at how easily he said, “if he survives”. There couldn’t be no fucking ifs, he wasn’t dying. Not like this. Not after everything. 
Your knees buckled, and you had to sit down again. The officer helped you to a bench, his face sympathetic, “I understand this is hard, but we need to follow protocol. He’s a key witness and suspect in multiple ongoing investigations.”
You nodded. The world felt distant, and surreal. “Can I at least know which hospital?”
The officer hesitated for a moment, then relented. “St. Michael’s. But you won’t be allowed to call until we clear things with the authorities.”
“Call? I want to visit.”
He sighed, taking a seat next to you, “Kid. I’m really sorry, but you won’t be here. You’re a kidnapping victim and there’s a direct order to take you back home, you’ve been reported missing for over a month now.”
Your mind reeled, struggling to process the officer's words.
Missing? For over a month? It felt like a lifetime and no time at all had passed since you'd been caught up in this nightmare.
"I can't leave him. Not like this."
The officer's expression softened. "I understand, but this is out of my hands. We need to get you back to your family. They'll be worried sick."
What family?
You wanted to shout in his face. JJ was still missing for all you knew and Luke hadn't stepped foot home in months. You felt so helpless.
“I can't just leave him."
"We're going to get you home safely. You'll be able to follow up on Rafe's condition, but right now, you need to come with us."
The officer stood up, motioning for you to follow. Reluctantly, you got to your feet, without another option, every step feeling like a betrayal to Rafe.
As you were led out of the station and into a waiting car, you could only imagine him lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life, by himself. You couldn't bear the thought of him waking up alone, without knowing that you were there for him.
If he ever woke up.
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