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novaviis · 3 years

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sick!dick au. Bruce's POV. read in order here.

For most everyone else, it starts at the Gala.

For Bruce, it starts in a grey little office, with a stack of papers and a glitter pen.

Dick will confess after the fact to the fainting spell in the apartment he shares with Wally, and the months of progressively worse migraines, including an incident on patrol with Jason – and Bruce is none-too-pleased with that information being kept silent, but he picks his battles and this isn’t one of them. Still, looking back nearly everyone will unanimously agree that the night it really “began” was the Gala.

For Bruce, it begins when the social worker hands him a creased manila envelope. Inside is a birth certificate, a social security number, and an immunization record. Bruce looks through the contents of the envelope. Is this really it? Yes, he’s never exactly done this before, but he feels like there should be more. Guardianship of a child shouldn’t be reduced to three pieces of flimsy paper in an envelope. There’s a coffee stain on the corner. The social worker doesn’t really know what to say to that; this is just the way it is. She slides the rest of the paperwork across the table. Everything’s already been looked over by his lawyers, all he needs to do is sign. She pats her pockets, muttering to herself before bringing out a red glitter pen and sheepishly offering it to him.

Bruce is in his twenties. He’s impulsive with his compassion and he just witnessed another little boy watching his parents die. He knows he can give this boy what he needs. Or he’s going to try. But between the drive to bring this boy’s family justice and the need to heal a part of himself in the process, he’s somehow skipped over just how huge this is. He’s thought about it, of course, but always with the under current of doing whatever it takes to make it work. He was going to give the boy a home, give him the closure that Bruce never got, and maybe he’d save him from turning out like… well, like Bruce. Only now he’s staring down at Guardianship written in big block letters across the top of the stack, and it’s sinking in now that he’s not just taking the boy in. He’s going to be his family. And it doesn’t change a thing, his resolve doesn’t waver, because he knows he can give him a good life, but it’s that one word. Family. His family is starting out with a coffee stain, a stack of papers, and a glitter pen.

He signs the papers. Dick is already waiting outside with Alfred, who’s taken him to the small cafeteria down the hall. The boy hasn’t spoken much, in the days Bruce has taken to get to know him. Bruce had asked Alfred if he was like that – after. And Alfred had looked at him sympathetically, answered carefully. Yes, he was, in a sense. Bruce had been quiet. Shellshocked. Traumatized. But Bruce needs to remember that he had him, at least one steady presence in his life. Dick has no one. It’s going to take time.

It shouldn’t be so easy, Bruce find himself thinking over and over as they finish up. He tucks everything away into his briefcase, bears with the social worker smiling and shaking his hand and thanking him for doing such a good deed as if this is a charity stunt for publicity and she doesn’t seem to care either way. He asks again, just before he closes his briefcase, if she’s sure that there’s nothing else he needs. Report cards, keepsakes, family medical history, he doesn’t know. She shakes her head, all pleasant smiles. No, that’s all he came with – as if he’s a shelter dog. Bruce latches his suitcase shut.

Back then, it was just a passing thought. He doesn’t spare it another over the years, because he doesn’t need to. Time went on, Dick becomes an inseparable part of his life. Bruce will always silently maintain that Dick was the one to save him in the end. He’s not a perfect guardian, not a perfect father, and he makes more mistakes than he can count. They argue, they have fallings out, and still they always work through it – because they’re family.

And the issue of the family medical history does not resurface until that champagne gold night. Until he catches Selena watching him from across the ballroom, smiling behind the rim of her wine glass and cocking her head to tease him. Until, he’s distracted between secretively searching the crowds for her and forcing himself to smile and laugh with Gotham’s elite, so he doesn’t notice the commotion rising up on the other side of the room. Until his youngest son comes racing toward him through the crowd looking more scared and shaken than Bruce has ever seen him. Until he breaks through the ring of bystanders and sees Dick passed out on the floor, Wally kneeling over him beside himself with panic. Until the ambulance and the fury of the waiting room (making a mental not to raise absolute hell with the Hospital’s board of directors) and the doctor pulling him to a side room, a little grey office, to ask the dreaded question. All at once, it comes back to that moment, and Bruce sighs, scrubs his palm over his tired eyes. No, he doesn’t have Dick’s family medical history. It doesn’t exist. Realistically, it isn’t Bruce’s fault, but that has never stopped him from shouldering blame.

Selena reaches out in the following days it ask in on how Dick’s doing. Bruce is cordial, tells her that her concern is appreciated but Dick seems to be doing fine. And on the other side of the phone, he can hear her moving around her penthouse, maybe standing at the window – she’s glad to hear it. Let her know if he needs anything, if she can do anything to help. It’s early days then, and none of them know just how bad it’s going to get.

It’s a slow progression at first, and then it’s not. It’s months between seizures, a steady increase in migraines – but life goes on. It’s not as if Bruce is hovering every Dick at every second. He’s a grown man now, with a career and a home and a partner. Bruce supports him in any way he can, until it gets to the point that he has to make the hard call. The argument he has with Dick that night, in the study of Wayne Manor, is something he’ll never wash from his memory. He’s used to making the tough decisions. He’ll be the asshole if he has to, he can handle Dick’s anger, but he’s not going to allow him to take this much risk into the field. Benching Nightwing until they have a handle on this is a necessary call, but Dick is stubborn (who on earth did he learn that from), and unwilling to step down so easily. And as the argument reaches its fever pitch, Bruce pacing and ranting, listing off his rational, he hears Dick call his name in a wavering voice and it cuts through the background noise. Dick, the colour drained from his face, eyes unfocused, conceding that he’s about to lose this argument, will haunt him in the same way as the worst things he’s seen in the life he’s chosen. That’s the moment he knows that this isn’t just going to pass, the moment he bolts to catch Dick before he can topple forward and hit his head. This isn’t something they can wait out. He’ll never regret making the call, but he will always regret the way he put the pressure on Dick, as if he’d just made things worse.

The thing is, this lasts years. It becomes a part of all their lives – because it’s Dick. It isn’t all consuming, it doesn’t eat away at their thoughts every minute of the day, but it’s a resurfacing concern that’s rarely spoken about aloud. And Bruce sees how this changes his family. No one can say that the Wayne clan is the most well adjusted and healthy family, but Bruce does his best. He realises and appreciates now more than ever just how much work Dick put into keeping them all functioning. Keeping them together. He never thought he’d taken it for granted until then. It shouldn’t have taken this to bring the family closer together, but it does, and as much as Bruce hates that, he’s not going to fight it.

Time goes on. Still. It’s a slow progression at first, and then it’s not. Bruce is in a meeting with his chief executive officers when his secretary buzzes in over the speaker saying there’s a call for him on the line. He thanks her for letting him know and tells her to take a message. She says the young man is telling her it’s an emergency. One of the CEOs is about to launch into a presentation and Bruce doesn’t spare him a second thought. Picks up the phone, pushes away from the board table, and paces to the window. Wally’s voice comes through saying his name, shaken and urgent, rambling out sentences too fast for Bruce to hear.

Wally. Slow down. What happened?

He stopped breathing. Fuck, Bruce, he called me at work – sounded like a seizure so I ran home, but he – it didn’t stop, he wasn’t breathing.

That first night, after Bruce has sent his reluctant children home with Alfred, it’s just him and Wally left with Dick. The end of visiting hours is fast approaching. Bruce steps out to let Wally have his time with Dick, allows him some privacy. He eventually makes his way up to the terrace balcony on the upper floors, a green space with massive glass walls and an open ceiling. Fresh air for the first time in hours does wonders.

Selena is there. She approaches him from the other side of a low hedge, bundled up in a cashmere sweater and scarf – ones he bought her ages ago. When he asks how she knew, she smiles. She has her ways. Tim called her, didn’t he. Yeah, he did. They stand in silence for a while, staring out at the mosaic of lights against the persistent dark of Gotham, before she puts a hand on his arm. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, Bruce, she says, and the coy smile fades into sincerity. Come to me when you need to.

Three days after Dick is admitted to the ICU, Bruce calls Damian into the study. It’s late, they just got home from visiting an hour ago. They’ve been arguing a lot lately, before Dick went downhill. Mostly regular thirteen-year-old boy versus father arguing, but a few too many frustrated shouting matches in the Cave. Bruce can’t help but wonder if it’s in part because Dick hasn’t been there to act as a mediator. Still, the past few days have been quiet, if not tense. Damian complies when Bruce calls him down. He’s wearing a sweater he stole from Dick months ago, the bulk of it swallowing his smaller frame like a blanket. He has the sleeves rolled up, his hands in the front pocket, when he pauses in the doorway. Bruce gestures for him to sit across from him at the desk. He can see the way Damian is bracing himself for a lecture, wondering whatever it is he did wrong this time, as he takes his seat. Bruce, in his chair on the other side, watches him for a moment before deciding this won’t do. He stands, and pulls his chair next to Damian’s and pulls a file over from the other side of the desk.

Wayne Men are at a higher risk of Prostate Cancer as they get older. I get tested every few years. He tells him. My Mother’s side of the family, the Kanes, have a history of Crohn’s Disease. It’s prevalent in people of Ashkenazi Jewish decent. I’ve never had it, or had symptoms, so it’s unlikely that I passed it on to you, but not impossible. And when Damian stares back at him, he leans forward, presses his hand to his son’s shoulder. I want you to know these things, Damian. It’s important that you know your history.

And with any other child, it may have not been a good idea to have this conversation right then. Any other child may have been scared. But this is his son, and Damian is as frank and pragmatic about these things as he is, and Bruce knows that he will appreciate the honesty, knows that those questions have likely been rattling around in Damian’s head for a while now. They spend another hour that night talking about their family, beyond just medical history, and Bruce answers any questions Damian has.

Dick gets worse. Wally leaves to find answers. Bruce is doing everything he can; medical bills are nothing to him, he checks in on his children, calls in favours from the league to keep watch of Gotham when he’s needed at the hospital. It’s the most he’s ever relied on others in his entire life.

It’s just him in Dick’s room one night. He’s at the window when he hears Dick rasping his name. It’s been rare lately that he’s been coherent enough to really speak without being prompted, so he has Bruce’s full attention immediately. He crosses over to the bed, braces a hand over Dick’s. And Dick doesn’t say anything for a long while. His eyes are half closed. Bruce is close to assuming he’s fallen asleep, when Dick’s unsteady hand slides out from under his, and rests on top with a barely there squeeze. Dick is staring up at him. His voice his so quiet it’s almost drowned out by the monitors, but Bruce hears it.

Take care of Wally.

Bruce doesn’t waste time on don’t talk like that sentiments. He doesn’t tell Dick that he won’t need to, that he’ll be fine, because Bruce does not make promises he knows he cannot keep. He nods. He will. Dick doesn’t need to ask him to take care of the family, that much is an unspoken understanding, but if this is a piece of mind he can give Dick, it’s without hesitation.

He ends up at Selena’s door after visiting hours. She buzzes him in, and when she opens the penthouse door neither of them say a word. She guides him over to the couch, pours two glasses of good wine, and when she returns, he’s already got his face in his hand – not sobbing, not breaking down, just… exhausted. She isn’t sure Bruce knows how to break down anymore. In the end, she just sits with him. Rubs his back, tentatively at first, not sure if he’ll let her. Bruce not only does, but he shudders under her hand, allows himself to breathe with her, and it’s enough to let the pressure ease and the ache to come in. He allows himself feel to it.

Because that’s his son. That’s his first son. And he’s failed him.

Years from then, when this is all in the past, he’ll let it slip. It’s over a late night coffee with Dick in the Cave as they wrap up a case, near to the anniversary of the Dick’s surgery. Maybe it’s the string of late nights and no sleep wrecking his inhibition, maybe it’s something he needs to get off his chest. But Dick stares at him, goes quiet, sets down his coffee mug.

You did everything for me, Bruce. He says. You never failed me.

And, someday, Bruce will believe it.

#dickwally #batfam #sick!dick #I've wanted to do Bruce's POV for years and it just hit me in one sitting

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jayankles · 3 years

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The Culmination: Endgame

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Word Count: 2362

Summary: Y/N doesn’t feel so good and it’s not like her to not answer the phone to Sebastian. He was right to send over Josie, Y/N’s friend, over to find out what’s wrong.

Warnings: Angst, Implied Smut, Fluff

Written for: @anyfandomangstbingo | @anyfandomfluffbingo | @anyfandomgoesbingo

Squares Filled: Sick fic | first time | “I really don’t like doing this over the phone”

A/N - Blake Lively is not a representation of the reader; it’s just for the dress. And the other beautiful woman is exactly who I pictured for Josie.

Feedback is gold and appreciated

Of course, you were sick today. The day that Sebastian had told you that he was to take a day at the gym then spend it with Don. You knew that when you woke up this morning it wasn’t going to be a good day, the cold sheets a little foreshadowing of how your day would have gone. The little guttural feeling you had punching you in the gut right now, it had you on the floor, bent over the toilet seat with your head in the bowl.

You felt awful. Unable to move, unless it was your throat spasming. Definitely the worst day so far, you couldn’t move and when you finally were able to move at all you felt like a robot. Not a good look.

You decided that it was time to head back to bed, none of your food would stay down so you made yourself a bottle of water and stumbled into bed with a bucket in your hand, ready to put the bucket on the floor beside your bed.

Pulling at the covers, you curled up under them and took a swig of your drink. Tears rolled down your face as you felt the pain grow stronger, you rubbed your stomach in hopes it would make you feel better; it didn’t.

All you could do was pray that you would fall asleep to not feel this pain anymore. Sleep evaded you. The pain is all there is that you feel. You threw up another three times before you finally succumbed to the pleasures of sleep. Rattling of keys had been the object that had drawn you out of your few moments of slumber. You didn’t dare move though, there was no point, you couldn’t move anyway.

“Y/N! Y/N, where are you?” It took you a minute to realise that it was your friend, Josie, shouting your name in hopes of finding you. “Y/N, Whe- There you are. What are you still doing in bed? Oh...”

She looked as if she sighed out a breath of relief before she retracted, covering her mouth and nose with her hand. Inhaling the stench of the room, she quickly ran out of there, returning with air freshener, spraying it around you to make her feel better.

“You need a bath, babe. Stay here and I’ll run you one. Of course you’re going to stay here, you poor thing.” Josie rambled, you stopped her before she could go on for another hour.

“Jo, pour some lavender in there. Love you.”

Freshly out of the bath after thirty minutes, you were wrapped up in Sebastian’s bathrobe, a reminder that he was home as it still smelt like him. “I hate feeling like this. It sucks. But I feel better already.”

Josie softly smiled at you, pity in her eyes. “Must have been that nap you took but I know it sucks. Could you imagine Seb with this kinda illness, though? It would be 100% worse just because it’s man flu.”

“Thank you for being here.” You said, taking a seat on the couch. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Seb called, said he tried texting and video chatting you but you wouldn’t pick up. I guess he was right to have me come over and check on you.”

“He’s such a cutie.” You groaned as you walked, the bath only slightly relieving some of the pain.

“I know. It makes me wanna barf… not like you, though. That shit is nasty, no, thank you, ma’am.” She tutted through a pinched nose, reminding of just how gross you felt and smelt not even a mere hour ago.

“You’re a pleasure as always, Jo. Always so kind to me, when I feel like shit. Thank you.”

She shrugged knowingly, a smirk on her face as she reached forward for the remote, finding a music channel and turning it down a little so it faded into the background becoming nothing but white noise. “So do you know what brought this on? Eat some bad food?”

“I don’t think so, otherwise Seb would feel the same way right?”

“Well you aren’t pooping as well as being sick so this isn’t a viral or bacterial thing. You’re not burning up? No severe migraines?” She asked and you only had one answer.

“Nope. And no, my appendix hasn’t burst because I’ve already had it out.” You said, becoming tired again as you let out a yawn.

“Well, I think I might need to slip out for a little bit.”

“Why? Where are you going? I thought you were going to take care of me?”

“I am. I’m just gonna head to the store and grab you some stuff to make tomato soup. I’ll be twenty minutes tops.” Josie was true to her word, never taking more than the twenty minutes she promised. Putting the bag of groceries on the counter, Josie pulls out the contents, revealing the ingredients she offered to get for you but you could tell that there was something else in the bag.

“What’s in there?”

Josie was fidgety, her fingers twiddling together. “I need you to keep an open mind because I think I know why you’re grossly throwing up.”

“Hit me. I wanna know how I can feel better right now.”

“It’s a good thing that you’re sitting down because…” She paused, making a face that she knew you weren’t going to like. “Because I think you’re pregnant.” her face unchanging as she pulled out the pregnancy test.

Then it hit you.

No.No.No. Fuck!

Hands dancing.

Tongues twining.

Passion blooming.

It was everything you could have asked for when he was away but now that Sebastian was back, you couldn’t keep your hands off of him. You covered every area of the apartment possible.

Oh crap.

“Fuck!”

“Yes you did.” Josie laughed at her own joke, the reaction not quite the same on your end.

“Oh god, Sebastian is going to kill me. He’s never going to want to talk to me. Why was I so stupid? Oh, I’m never gonna hear from him again. I’ll be kicked out. I’ll be a single mother. I’m gonna have to live with you and if I have this baby, you’re gonna hate me, then you’re gonna kick me out too. ”

Josie scoffed at you, helping you scurf back your hair away from your face, making you look into her wide eyes. “First of all, chill. I gotchu, you know I gotchu forever. Sebastian isn’t like that, but if he is you will never see him again and that is a promise and maybe a little bit of a threat. He’ll deserve it if he hurts you so. Just be my alibi if anything ever happens. Just go take the test. Negative? You’re just sick. Positive? You call Sebastian and you talk to him like an adult.”

“Why are you always right? Don’t you ever get sick of it?” You huffed before you smiled at her, squeezing at her hand after taking the small handful of the pregnancy test boxes back to the bathroom.

Five minutes passed and you were holding the peed on sticks in your hand, four out of five of them being positive. “I think I need to call Sebastian, and a doctor.”

After making an appointment with the doctor, you took a deep breath and pressed the button to call Sebastian. He picks up the call pretty quickly and you are not surprised.

“Y/N! Finally! Are you okay? What happened?”

“Hey bubba. I’m fine, just a little sickness. But I really don’t like doing this over the phone. When are you coming home. We need to talk.”

Two months later.

It was the night of the premiere of Avengers: Endgame and you couldn’t be more thrilled for the success that the Marvel Franchise had. It was 10 years of absolute lovable craziness. Thank you, Stan Lee.

You had no idea that you would be here on the aptly coloured, purple carpet with Sebastian after all you would have thought that you would still be with him after the whole pregnancy fiasco but the two of you were able to talk things through. Things were thrown, voices were raised, and tears were shed but still after all of that, Sebastian made the executive decision to calm the two of you down. The stress was no good for anyone at this point. You were both going to be parents; it’s what was established.

The two of you walked hand in hand, palms sweating as the cameras flashed, and photographers called out to each and every star that was involved in the production of Endgame. The culmination of the whole franchise was just so surreal, the fact that it was ending with a bang both made you swell with pride but it also made you a tad emotional because this collection of amazing characters wouldn’t continue but the legacy they left would. And that was what mattered.

“Sebastian! Y/N! Over here!” You heard from one of the interviewers, looking beautiful in her outfit, Sebastian rubbed his thumb across your knuckles, you were going to be okay. He was right there with you and you had done this a few times before. He was there for you.

“Hi.” “Hello. You and Sebastian answered at the same time, making the interviewer laugh.

“Wait, I remember you. I bought you a soup in a thermos and Tom gave you his jacket. I see we got lucky with good weather today, huh?” You said, smiling at her.

“Yes. You remember me?!” The woman turned to the camera looking right into the lens of it. “Guys, I’m fangirling so hard right now. Ah!”

Once the woman got her fangirling out of the way, she moved onto the interview, trying to get any information that she could before the movie premiered. Sebastian took over that one, telling her that there was no way that they were allowed to say anything about the movie other than he was dust.

“Now we’ve got that movie non gossip out of the way. Are you okay to talk freely about your pregnancy?”

You looked to Sebastian, it was his decision just as much as it was yours, you knew that Sebastian wanted to keep his private life separate from his professional acting career. “It’s okay, honey. Go ahead.”

“I think you’re good to go.”

“Thank you. I must say that you do look stunning in that dress.” She gushed, you thanked her, hiding your face a little. You loved this dress, the nude under layer and the little white and purple flowers that scattered across your dress, your bump barely visible through your dress.

“How far along are you?”

“Well, we’re in the first week of the second trimester. So I’m a little more confident when telling you that.”

“That’s amazing. Was the pregnancy planned at all?”

You made a face, sucking in a little air, looking to Sebastian for a little light to be shed on the situation. “Not at all. It was Y/N’s friend that actually realised that her morning sickness wasn’t her having the flu. She felt absolutely awful that morning, it was enough to know that it was bad when I tried to call her and I didn’t get an answer.

“We had our issues, you know, we didn’t know what to do, we're new at this. But I think that it’s important to know that you don’t abandon your family.” Sebastian softly smiled at you, subconsciously putting a hand on your slowly growing stomach. “I guess that is what this franchise is about though, right? It’s about family and- and looking out for one another. Everybody’s got a somebody here and I love that.”

“And Thanos, fucks it all up and snaps his goddamn fingers.” The three of you and the cameraman began to laugh at your little outburst about the mad, purple titan. “God, I can’t wait for the premiere tonight but I’m scared. For everybody. But especially for me, you know, I’m an emotional person anyway, add a hormonal woman to the mix and a whole lot of angst. Get my ice cream and tissues ready, because I’m coming for you, Thanos.”

“I heard that!”

“Love you, Josh. For the record, Josh is a nice guy, the character he plays is a big old sack of balls and I have no idea how he does it so convincingly.” Lovingly, you made eyes at Seb. “But it’s just like my Sebastian, a dark hydra assassin but in reality he’s a big ball of sunshine and goofiness. And I love him for it.”

“This is- this is what gets me.” The interviewer leaned in a little as Sebastian’s voice dropped to a slight whisper. “I know that she is going to be the best mom for our child because Y/N loves everything and everyone and that is a great quality to have but she’s also caring and matches my goofy side but her sass outweighs mine of course, no one can beat that.”

“Aww, he’s making me cry already. Seb,” you whined. “My makeup.”

“Well that's it folks.” The woman spoke, telling the audience that this was one of the cutest interviews that she had ever taken, that she could die happy and quickly saying congratulations before the two of you were whisked away to walk the carpet again and pose for pictures.

“You’re way too good to me, you know that right?” You said to Seb as you admired the sky blue suit he was wearing over his plain white tee. “I never even got to tell them that this baby will have the hottest dad in the world as well as the sweetest man. Thank you for being my baby daddy.”

Unbeknownst to you, the cameras had caught every single moment the two of you shared. The kisses you shared together, were now shared with the world, all over social media. At this point you didn’t care, you only cared about the man in front of you and the baby growing in your stomach. And this god damn movie!

Feedback is gold and appreciated

#anyfandomgoesbingo #anyfandomangstbingo #anyfandomfluffbingo #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan x pregnant!reader #sebastian x pregnant!reader #mcu fic #rpf fic #sebastian stan fic #sebastian x reader fluff #queue you!#jayankles #jayankles writes #bailey writes

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dramaticnerdwithanxiety11 · 3 years

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Sometimes, an ice core does more harm than good.

Danny has to be honest, he thought having an Ice Core would be amazing. Supposedly, ice based ghosts can hardly get hot and are unbothered by the cold. They can create ice and snow and as long as they make sure they use their abilities there are zero downsides.

Unfortunately, though, he’s not a normal ghost. And nobody thought to warn him that that means the rules for him, and his core, are completely out the window.

He discovers this on a very, very hot summer day where it’s reached a 104. Danny feels like he’s going to melt at 90. It isn’t the same kind of desperation for cold he remembers from before he died and only half came back, no it’s different and it’s so much worse. It feels like he’s been shoved into a burning building, the heat burns his throat and lungs and his eyes water. Any added heat like a blanket or anything beyond boxers and a loose tank top feel like he’s suffocating.

His clothes stick to him and feel like someone shoved the clothes inside him and it sucked up all his bodily fluids, leaving him feeling simultaneously dried of anything and everything and disgustingly wet.

He decides he absolutely hates the heat the first second he feels it.

His parents assume he’s sick, Jazz anxiously waits for him to stop hiding in his room uncurling and recurling over and over, rolling over in his bed and nearly ripping his hair out from how uncomfortable he is. She tries to get him to go stay in the Far Frozen until the heat wave blows over, but he doesn’t want to worry their parents.

When the day finally hit the peak of 104 Danny didn’t have the energy to do anything but lay in his bed, two fans blowing at full speed on him and the ac turned up without parental consent.

His brain feels like it’s turned to slush and when his parents come to check on him all he can do is sluggishly turn to look at them, blink and then turn back to the ceiling while laying completely still on his back.

At some point he realizes he’s a fucking idiot who should’ve gone to Clockwork or the Far Frozen and made sure he wasn’t dying (again) at the first sign of something new, instead of think ‘eh it’s probably fine’ and then end up so uncomfortable and hot he can’t even talk.

At one point or another he starts hurting, a dull ache in his chest that yearns for the temperature to lower, along with a steady thrum of soreness through his muscles despite him not having left his bed at all that day.

Jazz peaks into the room to check on him around this time, and he gives her a look that reads both scared and just dead (heh) tired. She decides to take the executive decision at this point to stomp over to him, scoop him up, and carry him somewhere.

Danny whines loudly when she touches him and she winces, apologizing quietly but not setting him back down, “W’re w’ go’n?” he mutters, his words coming out slurred and slow. She gives him an anxious look, but doesn’t respond as his head lulls to the side.

Jazz takes him down to the lab, hits the button to bring the Fenton Speeder (I forgot what it’s called) out and then climbs into it, buckling Danny into the passenger seat. He groans when they step inside, the Speeder is even hotter than the outdoors, stuffy and gross from sitting off in a hot house for a week. He whines and squirms when he’s set down on the leather seats and Jazz apologizes again.

She decides any speeding laws Walker has set up best be prepared to be ignored, and she puts the Speeder into the highest gear and send them speeding through the Ghost Zone. It takes ten minutes to finish the usually twenty five minute flight to the Far Frozen, and Jazz opens all the doors before she gets Danny so he can get the cold into his system sooner.

He lets out a heavy sigh, and while still not all there he relaxes at the rush of freezing cold air that passes over him. Jazz picks him up, and rushes to take him towards where she’s pretty sure the civilization is.

Frostbite greets them by nearly taking Jazz’s head off until he realizes she’s carrying a very out of it Danny Fenton who’s sunburned and limp, “What happened?” he asks, reaching to take him from Jazz’s arms.

“It’s 104 degrees back home, I think it’s messing with him or something, he’s been like this all day,” she explains, holding him up slightly for Frostbite.

“It must be his core, while we are still unsure quite how it works, it is entirely possible that due to his human anatomy his ghost core is more sensitive to the heat, and it is already a common and powerful weakness for Ice based ghosts,” he explains, “We should keep him away from your dimension until it is no longer so high in temperature, otherwise he may lose control of his powers or worse,” Frostbite has guided Jazz into one of the huts as he speaks, handing her an oversized necklace that radiates heat over her body to prevent her freezing in the Far Frozen.

Frostbite rests Danny onto a table-like piece made of ice and compact snow, and he relaxes into the cold surface, his core purring loudly for a moment and letting off a pulsing glow, “Would you like to wait for him to wake?” Frostbite asks, and Jazz nods.

“Yes, please,” she gives him a small smile, and he returns it, taking a seat on a large chair nearby while Jazz sits on the ground beside the table, she pulls a book from the bag brought along with her, and he picks one up off the end table.

#fanfiction #fic #danny phantom #i got bored #and also #im very fucking tired #i should be asleep #but thats okay #anyways

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a-few-of-my-favorite-anime · 3 years

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Hoshiai no Sora ( Stars Align )

I just finished watching this anime series and I really felt the need to vent a little, I went into this anime blind and it really left a bitter taste in my mouth, perhaps that was the point as this anime is just one big FU after another and the ending was so outrageous that I just didn’t understand what the point of this anime was, other than nihilism, depression and despair... oh and parents are the worst! Was this the storyboard the whole time, or were their problems behind the scenes?

What really sucks is that it had promise! The premise is a good one, the over abundance of issues is a bit contrived, but hey its a story I can roll with it, but the execution, lack of resolution and utter lack of any point behind it all just made it a nihilistic waste of time. I don’t know, perhaps there is an audience for this kinda of anime, but I’m not a part of it.

This series looks like it will be a cute, sport-anime, slice-of-life, coming of age, friendship story, and although it does do some of this, the series really covers a lot of abuse mainly by parents. It seemed like each kid on the team had some kind of issue stemming from their parents who are all collectively the worst people on the planet, if they are good/nice then they are weak and can’t protect their children from abuse of others. Topics like homophobia, physical abuse, verbal abuse, smothering love, lack of love, encouragement, absence and neglect (I’m sure I’m forgetting a few). I think only 1 kid had a ‘normal’ or at least happy family life. If you want to wallow in the trauma of parental abuse/neglect, without any hope or sliver-lining this is the anime for you.

I kinda feel like this is an anime not to go into blind as you might feel the same as me, and a little foreknowledge might save some people time by skipping it. But, like I said this series had promise, and there are a lot of issues that get brought up that some people might like or wish to explore more. The first half was fine, but as more and more issues started to come up and you start to realize there just isn’t enough episodes to deal with all of this - you start to realize they aren’t going to deal with any of it, just present it as this is how it is... on to the next issue. I could see this series being a great jumping off point for fanfiction, but honestly the characters weren’t really fleshed out enough to really make it fan worthy either imo, even if their issues could use more exploration.

Bottom line this anime is depressing, starts a lot of conversations and story lines that it doesn’t have time to really delve into and explore to any kinds of satisfaction, and the very disturbing cliffhanger ending was really a big FU to anyone who stuck around to see where this was going - the last episode in particular was just awful to experience, especially as we are only hit with the initial impact of the trauma and no resolution or exploration afterwards, just gut wrenching abuse to the characters (and audience) and leaves nothing but questions and resentment.

The cliffhanger had me seeking out a manga or something for some closure, but there is nothing... just a horrible setup and leaves the rest to your imagination I guess. This anime felt like it wanted to tackle a lot of issues, but ultimately it does nothing but highlight how terrible some adult/parents are, and how they mess up the lives of their kids, and nothing else. It felt like a lot for 12 episodes, might have been better to focus on a few issues and really explore them rather than trying to cover so much and doing nothing with any of them.

NOTE: more info in the comments about the production and why this anime felt incomplete - it was. NICE and Thanks! ^_^

Regardless, the anime is what it is, so I feel my initial response is still valid - not an anime to go into blind, if after you know of the production issues and still want to watch out of curiosity, great! But just know that it is not going to leave you in a good place with the cliffhanger ending.

Don’t watch before bed, it will keep you up!

SPOILERS (sorry, why I needed to vent)

Okay, this is really for the ending. I can’t believe the ending of this anime. As if the phone call from Shinjo’s mother wasn’t hard enough to hear, and why was the brother going to live with her? like WTF, drop her she doesn’t deserve to be called a mother! Then we get another visit from Maki’s father and although it isn’t quite clear what abuse he did to Maki’s mother, it is apparently really bad... the friend wouldn’t talk about it, broken dishes - I assumed the mother was beaten (I hate to think it was worse than that, but it could have been - we don’t get to see her). Maki races out to confront his father. He buys a huge knife and the anime ends with him holding the knife and standing just outside his father’s apartment door. Apparently to kill him, try and kill him - he is still a 12yo boy, even with a knife and a surprise attack, his father might still be able to fight him off and kill him in self-defense!! Which would be even more BS! Anyway, it was a horrible way to end a series, showing a kid ready to commit murder... end series.

Like I said, maybe this is okay for some people who like this edgy stuff, but for me it was one horrible decision after another in this series. To nihilistic for me. I wanted to like it more, I wanted it to be more, but this wasn’t written to please me :) if you are like me, skip this one!

#Hoshiai no Sora #stars align #anime #anime 2019

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glorytoukraine2022 · 3 years

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Hi. I’m here for another post. This post has one topic: The mothers of Elena of Avalor and TTS (or in the case of the latter, the lack-thereof). In this post, I will be comparing the treatment of mothers in Elena of Avalor to the treatment of mothers in Tangled the Series. So tighten your seatbelts!

I don’t know about all of you, but in the first half of season 1 and season 2, I found myself wondering about who Carla and Naomi’s mothers were. Did you? And lo and behold! Our questions were answered! We were given insight into who they were, explainations for their absences from their children’s lives, and their relationship with their daughters.

Of course, Ash turned out to be a terrible person and mother, but given that there are many wonderful mothers in Elena of Avalor, I would hardly call Ash’s existence a referendum on how Elena of Avalor treats and views mothers. As horrible as Ash turned out to be, I’m still glad we found out about her and who she was. Compare this to Tangled the series, where members of the fandom are still scratching their heads and wondering who Varian and Eugene’s mothers are, over a year after the show ended. The only thing we ever got of them were portraits!

One can ask, “Can it get any worse?“ and the answer is yes, yes it can.

The answers lie within the post series works of “The Rise of Flynn Rider” and “Varian and the Seven Kingdoms.”

I never read “The Rise of Flynn Rider” myself, but I know that the writer of that book got all the lore and backstories for Eugene from Chris Sonnenburg. According to the information I have recieved from those who have read the book, Eugene’s mother didn’t even have a NAME. Yep that’s right. She was just “Eugene’s mother.”

Based on this, we can assume that no thought was put into her character, or who she was, even for the show. This is infuriating, and shows a clear lack of respect for Eugene’s mother. We can only assume that the same applies to Varian’s mother as well, who was given just as little coverage as Eugene’ mother, even less, since at least we know how Eugene’s mother died. However, some amazing storyboard writers from the show who love Varian, tried to remedy that.

For those of you who don’t know, “Varian and the Seven Kingdoms” was an attempted graphic novel continuity of Varian’s adventures by two storyboard artists of the show, as mentioned above. However, Disney did not green light it. The plot was, that Quirin would give Varian an old journal that belonged to his mothe, Ulla, who was an Alchemist like him, and Varian woul set across the Seven Kingdoms to complete her work. However, by the end of the novel, it turned out that Ulla was not only alive, but evil.

At First, I was fine with this plot twist. I had nothing against Varian’s mother turning out to be the antagonist. That is, until I found out where it came from. Or rather, who.

Chris Sonnenburg.

Honestly, the more I find out about this guy, the more I begin to hate him and his twisted worldviews. According to writers behind Varian and the Seven Kingdoms, Chris Sonnenburg had the idea to make Varia’s mother evil, with the idea that Varian had inherited a “dark streak” from her. Hearing this greatly disturbed me beyond imagination. It was hearing this that made me denounce Varian and the Seven Kingdoms, or consider anything or any characters from it as canon. To this day, just the THOUGHT that this concept could have become canon TERRIFIES me.

Then, I had an epiphany.

If this was the mindset that Chris had in regards to Varian’s mother, than he must have had this same mindset in regards to Cassandra being Gothel’s daughter and her villain arc.

I want to make this clear to anybody who might be reading this, but the idea that a child inherits a “dark streak” from their parents or is destined to be a bad person because of who their parents were before them is a FALSE and outdated idea. Both Varian and Cassandra’s villain arcs were a reaction to trauma. Trauma that stems directly from Rapunzel and her mistreatment of them. A bad reaction to trauma does not make you a “villain“, or even remotely a bad person. It has NOTHING to do with inheritance or who you’re related to. The choices you make in life are completely disconnected to your relatives. Varian and Cassandra’s biological relations to their mothers have nothing to do with their trauma or decisions. They weren’t even raised by them!

When you put all this information concerning Varian and Eugene’s mothers, together with the lack of mothers in the show, or having them either be evil or insignificant, than this paints a very dark picture of the Executive Producer of the show and how it was written. Especially In regards to mother figures and how they are viewed by Chris Sonnenburg. Tangled The Series is a show insulting to mothers everywhere.

In Elena of Avalor, there are so many wonderful and heartwarming mother figures. We have Queen Lucia, Elena’s mother, who, despite her murder at the hands of Shuriki is depicted as a loving and supportive mother to Elena, even as a spirit. There’s Bianca Nuñez, Gabe’s mother, who is supportive and understanding of her son’s goals and has a loving relationship with him. There’s Rafa De Alva, Mateo’s loving, albeit overprotective mother who raised him alone as a single parent. She allowed Mateo to practice magic and even taught him how to dance, despite both being outlawed under Shuriki’s rule. She stood brave and strong, even under oppression. There’s Scarlet Turner Who despite being absent for a lot of Naomi’s childhood, always loved her and sent letters. In the show, she saw just how attached Naomi was to Avalor and how attached the Avalorans were to her, and decided to settle down in Avalor with her family. And an honerable mention, Luisa Flores, who tragically outlived both of her daughters, yet raised her grandson Esteban as her own and acted as a mother figure to both of her granddaughters, Elena and Isabel. Ash is the only rotten apple.

Yes, there are some parental figures who go unmentioned, such as Mateo’s father and Esteban’s mother. We know nothing of her besides her name: Margarita. However, given all of the positive mother and father figures this show has, I can forgive these few holes. Just like I said regarding Ash, I don’t view this as a referendum on the treatment of mother and father figures in EOA. There are so, so many loving mother and father figures in this show, and they are treated as equals. Mothers and fathers have an equal significance and impact on their children’s lives in Elena of Avalor.

Mothers everywhere are important. While it is understandable, In some cases, that some parental figures are not plot revenant or that there just isn’t enough time to include them, the lack of mothers and their insignificance in Tangled the Series. There’s no reason as to why Queen Arianna didn’t play more of a role in Rapunzel’s life in the Series. Just because they wanted to focus on her relationship with Fredric didn’t mean that there couldn’t have been more time for Arianna. We should have had more attention with Varian and Eugene’s mothers as well, and their spouses and children’s feelings regarding them. In Elena of Avalo, we get all of thi. There are moment, even songs, regarding the feelings childre have regarding their mothers. Even if they don’t get a lot of screen time, it is clear that they love their children and have a special place in their lives and hearts. Just like our own mothers.

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yami-writes · 3 years

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The Underworld - AoA Mythology Event

(✨) paring(s) — Hades Shouto Todoroki x f!reader

(⚠️) warning(s) — some angst, talk about devils, hell and stuff, mentions of execution, fires and buildings burning down, major character death (nothing graphic)

(💌) yami's note — my contribution to Attack on Academia’s Mythology AU event! hope you enjoy- even though i know close to nothing about mythology :sob: also this isn’t a specific AU/theme or anything, i was pretty lost on what to do so i just went off what i knew + a bit of my own shit ( this is my first work in a while, i'm a bit rusty lmao )

Y/n, never to be held back by the rules. You always preferred to do things your way, bending and breaking rules to do what you wanted.

“I’m supposed to be executed next month.” You took a bite out of your mashed potatoes while Denki choked on his. “What!? How could you say that so casually!?”

“I don’t care. They’re supposed to be executing all the lifetime prisoners here as some sort of offering to the Devil or some shit.”

You spent the better half of your life as a wanted criminal, committing acts left and right at your will. You never had a reason to commit crimes, it was more or less the ‘You Only Live Once’ mentality, as well as your own curiosity that drove you to be a bad person. For better or for worse, you enjoyed your life of crime. It was a never-ending adventure, a game. What crime will you commit this time? How many cops would show up this time? How far will you have to go to escape them? It was all a fun game to you.

“I’d rather be executed than spend the rest of my life in this place. We’re not even treated like humans. More like rabid animals that could attack at any moment. At least if I get executed I’ll be dead.”

“At least if I eat food I won’t starve.” Denki mocked. “But is it true? Are you really going to be executed?”

“Yeah.” you take another bite out of your lunch. “The guards hate us, they’ve been wanting to see our heads on a stick for a long time.”

“What!? But if you die I won’t have anyone in here to keep me sane, y’know!! We’ve only been talking for a few days but I like you!!”

You merely nodded.

“Hey, Y/n!” Mina poked your cheek. “What is it this time?”

“Have you ever heard the term ‘yolo’?”

“The fuck is a yolo?”

“I said it’s a term!” Mina laughed. “It’s an abbreviation for ‘You Only Live Once’.”

You Only Live Once. Those four words touched your soul. They told you to go, do the things you never thought you’d do. Commit the crimes you’ve never even thought of committing. They told you nobody, not even the law could tell you what to do, only you could tell yourself what to do.

Time was passing fast. Minutes, hours, days passed and your execution only got closer.

You didn’t care, but word sure did get around fast. Two weeks until the execution and everyone knew. You received weird looks wherever you went, which was normal, but these were different. You couldn’t explain what made them so different though. Maybe it was the way they lingered for longer than you’d like, as you had gotten used to the quick glances.

They were getting cocky.

You ate your lunch in silence, Denki was nowhere to be seen but you couldn’t be bothered, you just hoped he wasn’t doing anything stupid. As your execution came up you had been thinking, mostly of your past, your decisions, your life. Specifically, that one night...

It was a quiet Sunday evening. After being passed around in foster homes, enduring abusive foster parent after abusive foster parent, you were put into an adoption center, where you were finally being taken care of. You never made friends with anyone, you were scared of them. You thought they’d hurt you, abuse you, call you names. You didn’t want to go through that again.

“Hey!” A girl called out to you. She sat in front of you on the floor. “My name’s Mina!” The girl had messy pink hair, it was hard to tell if it was natural or not. You stared at her for a second, unsure of how to respond. “Hello.” Was all you could choke out.

“You’re y/n, right? I think you’re cool, wanna do this puzzle with me?” She took out a puzzle of a cat wearing a wool hat.

“Sure.”

“Yay!!” Mina cheered, quickly dumping the pieces on the floor.

From that point on your friendship with Mina flourished. Countless days and nights spent together. Laughing, talking and gossiping, together. You didn’t want it to end the way it did.

Months later, you never imaged standing in front of the adoption centre, the building ablaze and falling apart due to fire damages. Your friend, Mina, nowhere to be seen outside of the building. Was she still inside? The entrance to the building had already caught fire and looked about ready to collapse. You weren’t quite sure if the emergency exits were available, but if they were Mina would’ve used them by now, she was always quick-witted.

“y/n..” The adoption centre staff that had escaped with you puts her hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, but… They’re gone.”

You understood the concept of death very well, you’ve experienced losing someone before, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Hello, y/n.” A lady walks up to you, waking you out of your daydream. Her hair is up in a tidy ponytail and she’s wearing a prison uniform, she’s a prisoner too? “What? I was hoping to enjoy my lunch alone.”

“My apologies.” She sits down beside you. “I just wanted to talk to you before your execution, I think you’re very interesting.” You continue eating your lunch, minimalizing socializing with your prison mate. “Have you ever heard of ‘The Underworld’?” The lady asked.

“The Underworld?”

“Yes. It's where lifetime prisoners like us are bound to wind up. Lemme tell you about it.” She makes herself comfortable on the bench.

“If he deems you to be a bad person, the Devil will bring your soul down to The Underworld as a way to punish you for the sins of your past life. It’s a large, dark place, filled with the souls of people like you and I, who have committed horrible crimes and now have to deal with the consequences forever.”

“I see... And why are you telling me this?”

“I’ve been telling everyone about it! We’re all gonna go there!! It's good to be informed. Anyways, I’ll leave you to your lunch now. It was nice talking to you, y/n.”

“Okay.”

You pondered for a while after listening to that woman. She seemed pretty nice but it was obvious she had some screws loose.

You also thought about her teachings of The Underworld. If you enjoyed your life to the fullest, did it really matter what happens in the afterlife? You asked yourself that question often. You were more curious than you were afraid of the underworld.

You’ve heard many different interpretations of it, although the most common seemed to be one of suffering. Eternal suffering at the hands of Satan. The supreme ruler of Hell torments your soul for longer than the human mind can comprehend as a means to pay for the sins of your past life. The cold-blooded Devil rests on his throne as he listens to the tortured screams for mercy, to be set free.

The thought left your mind soon after, although you never seemed to get that woman off your mind. She was interesting, to say the least.

Two days. Two more days until you’re to be executed. As the days went by you became more and more curious. You had been thinking of the woman often.

She was a kind, yet mysterious lady. You’d gone around and asked other prisoners about her, but they all had nothing. Some people said something about her being pulled from a mental hospital and into jail but those seemed to just be rumours. Who is she? Where could she have gone? The prison was relatively big, so finding a specific person would prove to be pretty difficult, but almost two weeks of searching should’ve yielded at least some sort of information. You had given up on finding anything about her, she was just someone who wanted to speak to you, there was no need to spend the last few days of your life on her.

You never stopped thinking of The Underworld, or whatever it was called at this point. You wondered what it was really like. What really happened down there? Are bad souls really tortured for eternity? Is there even an afterlife? You wanted to know.

You went to bed thinking about it. About your afterlife.

You opened your eyes, a dark blue sky looking back at you. Outside? Your head was pounding and your throat was dry. Your body ached.

You could hear an eerie ambiance in the distance, this was truly an odd place. Ignoring the pain, you got up, taking a good look around you. The ground was made out of a mix of rock and dirt, around you seemed to be lakes of water. The sky was a dark blue colour, almost like a night sky, although there was no moon, stars, or sun.

“Hello.” a voice called out to you. You turned in the direction of the voice, a hooded figure stood before you. “Who are you?? Where am I??”

“Woah woah, calm down.” a hooded figure tried to calm you down. Their voice was rather kind, leading you to believe they weren’t a threat to you, they seemed to calm you down a bit. They wore a black, hooded robe and grasped a long stick with a red gem on the top. Behind them was a river, as well as a boat. “Was it a rough fall?”

“...Yeah,” you looked up at the gloomy sky, “I guess so.”

“I’m sorry about that, I'll ask him to add some sort of cushion here.” the mysterious person takes off their hood, revealing green hair and a rather cute freckled face. “I’m Izuku, I’ll be bringing you to the mainland.”

“Mainland?? Wait where even is this place, why am I here?? I’m supposed to be in prison right now-”

“Oh! You’re in The Underworld now. You’re dead, I'm sorry..”

“Dead!? How!? I wasn’t executed yet!”

“Your questions will be answered once we get there, so come with me into this boat and I'll take you to the mainland.” Izuku leads you to the boat, preparing it to sail once you get in, and soon enough, the boat starts to move onward.

“We might be here for a while, mind telling me about your past life? He never tells me anything about the souls that wind up here.”

“Uh sure, I guess. My parents died when I was still young, so I was tossed around in foster homes until they just stuck me in an adoption centre… One day one of the ladies that worked there caused a fire and it got burnt down, only me and that lady survived. After that I moved to the next town over and started a life of crime, I enjoyed it. Eventually, the police caught me and I was sentenced to jail for life for all the crimes I committed, they planned to execute me tomorrow but.. Y’know, I’m dead now.”

“Hm.. what an unfortunate life you’ve lived, although that story isn’t very new around here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve heard the stories of most of the souls down here, their lives began to tumble after a traumatic event. The loss of a loved one, car crashes, tragedies, I've heard it all before, but it doesn't get any less saddening.”

“I see..” you sigh, slumping over the side of the boat. You stare down at the water, watching your reflection. The water was almost as dark as the sky, tinted a greenish colour. ‘I’m kinda tired…’

“And~~ we're here!” Izuku announces, stopping the boat. “Sure did take a while.” You step out of the boat, taking a look around. It looks identical to where you first woke up.

“Follow that path, it’ll take you to Hades. He never asks to see anyone so you’re special!”

“He asked to see me!?”

“Yeah, I'm not sure as to why, but you better hurry! He doesn’t like waiting.”

“Oh, okay! Thanks!”

You immediately make your way down the path, concerned as to what Hades himself wanted from you. The path seemed to stretch on forever, turning corners before another straight, long extension. It almost left like you were going in a long circle.

At this point you had been in The Underworld for 30 minutes, although the sky hadn’t seemed to change at all, was there no time here?

After a long 15 minutes of walking, you made it to a large palace, tall gates of steel keeping unwanted guests from entering. A button rested on the side of the gate entrance. You pressed the button, unsure of what it would do. You wouldn’t be surprised if it summoned another hooded figure like Izuku to escort you into the palace, this place was unpredictable.

A loud ‘buzz’ sound erupted from the button upon being pressed, followed by a “Who’s there?” The voice on the other side was definitely different from Izuku's. It was deeper, but pleasant. “I’m y/n, Izuku told me Hades wanted to see me?”

You heard another buzz sound before the front gates opened. You anxiously walked in, not sure what to expect next. Your mind raced with thoughts as you wandered through the halls of what you assumed to be Hades’ palace. It was surprisingly bland on the inside, though. Maybe he wasn’t good with interior design.

After making your way through the halls, you were met with a surprisingly small room, with the classic long, expensive red carpets you would only see in movies. You felt somewhat bad for stepping on it, it looked expensive.

You looked up to see someone, a humanlike being sitting upon a throne.

“Hello?” you called out to them, inching closer.

“Ah, you must be y/n.” They acknowledge, standing from their throne and walking up to you. Was this Hades?

He looked more human than you thought he would. His face is what caught your attention, he was incredibly handsome. The type of man you’d only see in your dreams. His hair split in the middle, his left red and his right white. There also seemed to be a red mark on the left side of his face, it looked like a burn scar…

“Uhm, why’d you call me here? Shouldn’t I be like... Suffering? With the rest of the bad souls that ended up here?” you questioned him, trying to ignore his beauty.

“No. I’ve been watching you for a while, y/n. If I'm getting to the point, I want to marry you. I killed you prematurely so those awful people didn’t get the chance to, and so I could get to see you early.” He smiled. His lips looked incredibly soft, the kind you’d want to kiss forever.

“What!? Marry me!? But-”

“You mustn’t worry about the details, y/n. I love you, everything from your beauty, to your personality, I feel drawn to you. I would like you to be my wife. We could live happily together.”

The way he never elaborated didn’t make it any easier to take in, but an idea came to your mind. “If I marry you, will I still have to suffer? Like to pay for my sins…”

“Of course not, my love. Let’s say marrying me is enough to pay for them.”

You were curious to know what would happen if you didn’t marry him, or if you had a choice at all, but you decided you were better off not knowing for once.

“Alright, I’ll marry you.”

“Wonderful. Please feel free to explore the palace, and pick a room. I know you’re probably tired.”

“Thanks.”

After exploring the palace, you settled for a cozy room on the second floor. You liked the colours and arrangement of the room.

You lie in bed, pondering what had happened in the first few hours of your afterlife. You spent your life thinking you’d be sent down to meet Satan, an unforgiving force meant to punish evil souls for their wrongdoings, but was met with Hades instead, a God that was not only kind, but had at some point, fallen in love with your character. He had promised you an easy afterlife with him, an eternity you could spend however you wanted. Do the things you never got to do in your past life as a spirit.

You were beyond grateful to him, choosing to not only have mercy on you, but make you, a criminal who’s committed many crimes, his wife, another ruler, God of The Underworld.

Everything turned out quite different from how you originally thought.

#shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #reader insert #mythology #mha x mythology #bnha x mythology #mythology au #hades #shouto todoroki x reader

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spockandawe · 4 years

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I’m so unbelievably weak against characters who make terrible choices because they’re hurting and upset. I love the subtler resentful decisions that quietly build up ill will, and I love the big dramatic choices that end with everyone going down in flames. But more than anything, I love love love hurting myself with the emotional flavor of a character struggling with the tension of simultaneously realizing that people hate/mistrust them (or how much people hate/mistrust them, or which people hate/mistrust them), while also realizing that those people just have... no idea where they’re coming from.

I was thinking about this first because of Mu Qing, who is honestly a very low-key version of this scenario (and it’s also quieter since he’s not a lead character and rarely takes the spotlight himself). But the first big tgcf flashback honestly made my heart ache, seeing him trying to walk a line between maintaining his own independence/pride and not belonging to someone he wants to be peers with, but when he tries to be tactful, people decide he’s being shady. He was picking cherries, to bring a treat to his poor mother (and the poor children around his home), but then got accused of stealing, and then didn’t want to say that it was because his only remaining parent was living in poverty. And it continues through the present day! He knocks out Feng Xin so he can save him from a burning city, because Feng Xin refuses to leave, and people are like ‘>:OOO MU QING ATTACKED FENG XIN??’ In some ways, this character hurts me more than the others, because he rarely does anything wrong, he has a bad attitude, but his most significant “missteps” tend to be like ‘you could have been a little more kind, tbh.’

But also too, I’ve been working my way through the svsss extras again, and... Shen Jiu. God, Shen Jiu. This character is agonizing, and I love him so much. He makes terrible choices! He does terrible things! He tries to set up an actual literal child to die horribly, because he resents that this child had a parent who loved him, and that he found his way to Cang Qiong young enough to reach his full potential! It’s absolutely unforgivable! But nobody except Yue Qingyuan has any clue how much Shen Jiu has been through and how to possibly help him grow or heal or how to support him into better decision making. And Shen Jiu is so hurt by the way Yue Qingyuan left him that he refuses to let Yue Qingyuan help him now. Like! This child was a slave, begging for food on the streets, then was sold to a rich boy who abused him in sexually-flavored ways and planned to marry him to his sister so he could keep him forever, and then his “rescuer” was a scumbag adult who taught him to steal and murder.

And while Shen Jiu was suffering, he thinks Yue Qingyuan, who came from the same beginning and who promised to come back for him, was living in careless pampered luxury in a prestigious cultivation sect. Shen Jiu’s own self-evaluations are incredibly harsh, from the moment he’s reunited with Yue Qingyuan. He calls himself terrible, he calls himself a thing, and once it’s clear that he’s going to pay the price for his bad decisions, he tries hard to shove away the one person who cares about him and find some way to protect him. Yue Qingyuan never stopped loving him and defending him, but literally nobody else in the world has any sympathy for him whatsoever. How am I not supposed to be heartbroken? Shang Qinghua sighs over how his readers used to hate on Shen Qingqiu for having no motivations, which, sure, that’s understandable from what’s on the “Proud Immortal Demon Way” pages, but seeing the trauma driving his choices in svsss and seeing his own self-awareness and self-loathing and knowing that one (1) person in-universe has any inkling of his internal world (and that person died trying to help him), I’m! In pain!!!

Plus, in svsss proper, I saw a post in passing once that was something like... ‘readers are hard on luo binghe, because he’s the only mxtx protagonist where we see the worst decisions of his life and aren’t in his head to understand why he’s making those decisions.’ Which I still find fascinating, and think about often. It makes sense to me. And as far as my terrible-decision-making children go, he’s very interesting to me because he doesn’t really deal with the widespread distaste/mistrust that mu qing and shen jiu experience, it’s very much targeted on one person. I live for the parts of svsss where all Luo Binghe has to do is breathe, and Shen Qingqiu flinches and bolts. And Luo Binghe is not acting in kind or well-considered ways, a lot of the time! But he was seventeen, and his beloved teacher had told him that ‘humans can be good or evil, demons can be good or evil,’ but the moment Luo Binghe turned out to be half demon, even though he’d just been fighting desperately trying to protect Shen Qingqiu, that teacher he trusted more than anything immediately turned on him, stabbed him in the chest, and threw him into hell.

That’s agonizing!!!! Even without the aftermath, that’s agonizing to read! And when Luo Binghe comes back, years later, he’s upset, he’s hurt, he’s lonely, he’s still stinging from that betrayal, of course he’s not making good decisions. I follow good blogs, because I haven’t seen any terrible Luo Binghe takes on my dash, but I’m kind of :c that these takes apparently exist. Again, it’s not that I think he makes good decisions, but I can see why he makes bad decisions, and I can see other characters missing that context, and I am rolling in terrible, glorious pain. Luo Binghe shows up secretly in Huan Hua Palace and starts taking it over and generally acts shady as heck? Well, Shizun wouldn’t let him beg for forgiveness when he was a disciple, and he’s afraid to face Shen Qingqiu until he can meet him on a semi-equal footing. Luo Binghe gets angry and spiteful when Shen Qingqiu asks if he’s responsible for the sowers? Yes he does! He’d always, always tried to do right by Shen Qingqiu, and trusted Shen Qingqiu when he said demons could be decent people, but the moment he turned out to be half-demon, Shen Qingqiu immediately started expecting the worst from him at every turn. It hurts! I don’t blame him for acting on that hurt! And I am so endlessly compelled by the way that Shen Qingqiu completely fails to recognize the context for where Binghe is coming from.

And like... I cannot leave out Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao. Xue Yang is fascinating in his own way, because the steps are... a lot more explicit and clear-cut than some of these other characters. Shen Jiu’s downward spiral is very internal and he curls up tight to hide his weak spots even with the person who values him most in the whole world, but Xue Yang very plainly tries to lay out his reasoning for his most important person. His whole world is crumbling by the time things reach that point, and it was probably beyond salvaging, but god! He tries so hard to explain the position the world placed him in, from childhood onward, helpless and vulnerable, and that nobody was going to defend him except himself.

But when Xiao Xingchen doesn’t understand what he’s trying to communicate, when he realizes that the person he values most isn’t willing to hear what he’s trying to say, he starts lashing out again and trying to hurt. It’s the same lesson he learned when he was young, in some ways. ‘If I’m stupid enough to trust you, you’re going to use that to hurt me.’ And then the logical next step, ‘If you’re going to hurt me, all I can do is try to hurt you worse.’ You can see the trauma playing out right there on the page, and it’s agonizing. I can understand some people not enjoying reading things that make them hurt that way, but I have trouble Getting it when people don’t at least find that kind of dynamic compelling as hell. I’ll sometimes avoid media that I know is going to make me sad, but if I’m in the mood to Experience Sadness, I know a dynamic like this is going to grab me by the heart and shake me like a ragdoll.

And... Jin Guangyao. He was on my mind too, partly because I’ve seen a few takes on his motivations lately that honestly kind of baffle me? Like, to each their own, especially since mdzs never takes us inside his head. But I see posts that like... he was bullying Nie Mingjue, or what if Lan Xichen could Tell he was never genuine and mistrusted him on some level, and how to put this. It’s not that I agree with the choices he made, though I really don’t want to play fandom purity police in any way, shape, or form (murder is good, actually), but I understand the choices he made enough that those sort of interpretations that skew towards the cruelty-for-the-sake-of-cruelty territory honestly kind of upset me.

There’s some interesting comparisons to be made with Mu Qing, in some ways. They both grew up poor, without a father, in “shameful” single-parent situations (a sex worker mother vs. a father being executed for being a criminal). They were poor boys with ambition, but no matter how they tried to carry themselves with dignity, those poor beginnings were rubbed in their faces, years after the fact. I think it does make a real difference that Mu Qing’s shame is mostly based in his own history (sweeping floors) while Jin Guangyao’s is more external (son of a whore), and that Jin Guangyao’s also insulted a parent who he loved dearly, and that Mu Qing was seeking the respect outside of famiial structures while Jin Guangyao was desperate to be accepted by his father.

There’s so much of Jin Guangyao’s early life that’s like ‘I’m Just Trying To Live My Life, My Dude,’ and it hurts me to watch. He really didn’t have goals that were all that excessive! If his goals were excessive in some way, it’s only by virtue of how highly ranked his father was, which isn’t his fault. His goal: ‘I want my father to accept me into the family.’ What the world saw: “oh my god, this son of a whore SERIOUSLY wants to be brought into this noble family, lmaooooo.’ There are characters who are more compassionate than that, and a lot of that reaction is down to the nature of the setting, but LORD, man! It’s honestly a pretty restrained goal for a kid to have! Especially when his father totally promised to come back for him someday, and he waited patiently for years before setting out on his own.

And even once he gets kicked down the steps of Koi Tower and dials back his ambitions, he gets so little space to breathe. He’s learning cultivation late, he takes a position as a nobody in a different cultivation sect, he’s just trying to live. But no matter how he rolls with the punches, no matter how he smiles and bears it, he’s being constantly, constantly prodded in that old, painful bruise. I’ve been finally working my way through The Untamed, and it was painful to watch, in Gusu, when he’s trying to present the Nie Sect’s gift to Lan QIren, and people just start focking gossiping about him, right there, perfectly audibly. And when we see him back in Qinghe, he’s perfectly polite and deferential, and that one disciple is still like ‘fuck you, ur mom was a whore.’

He makes bad decisions, but even when he makes good decisions, he can’t win. I don’t get anything from him at all that suggests he had Hugely Lofty Ambitions from a young age, he just wanted some kind of decent life, but almost nobody would cut him a break. Nie Mingjue did cut him a break, and Lan Xichen was gentle and kind to him, and that made such an impact on him. But I also think it made it that much worse, when he made later questionable decisions, and Nie Mingjue refused to let him explain himself. Nie Mingjue’s rigidity breaks my heart in lots of ways, but especially when it comes to Jin Guangyao. I don’t want to make this all about personal attachment, but it’s kind of inescapable in this situation. Nie Mingjue sends him a loud, violent message that if he’s not perfectly morally upright, he’s Done. But by now, Jin Guangyao has years of history of people being cruel to him based on a history he never was able to control. Nie Mingjue protected him, but hes made it clear that protection was... conditional. There could be arguments about how conditional, and what the non-murdery limits would have been, but the murder has been done, and it was already clear that Nie Mingjue never had the power to protect him from everything.

I can’t read Jin Guangyao’s later actions without also reading that fear and insecurity into his decisions. He even tries to say it outright, that he’s afraid of everyone and everything, and Nie Mingjue misses the point. Jin Guangyao hurts me a lottle, because he suffers both in terms of the general public’s judgment of him, but also in the judgment of someone he cared deeply about. I can see the reasoning and trauma, but so many other people in the story can’t. Jin Guangyao gets pushed to the edge by how his father holds him at arm’s length from the family, the atrocities he tells Jin Guangyao to commit on his behalf (and then maybe I’ll treat you like my actual son, maybe), but when he tries to express that, Nie Mingjue is like ‘can’t you just endure more, though??’ He builds a temple with a statue with the face of his dead beloved mother, and the public is like ‘omg, he made that statue with his OWN FACE, can you believe it??’

In some ways, the way Lan Xichen determinedly loves and trusts him makes it all hurt even worse. I absolutely believe Jin Guangyao when he says that he never once wanted to act against Lan Xichen. So many of the terrible decisions Jin Guangyao makes tie so directly to him seeking either safety or security. But he works hard in social gatherings to keep the peace and people think he’s two-faced. He endures years of mistreatment before hitting back and people judge him for hitting back at all and say that well, what else could we have respected from someone with that background. Nie Mingjue threatens to kill him multiple times, and he was a very straightforward, honest man, of course Jin Guangyao was frightened of him and decided it was safer to see him dead. I live for the pain of seeing a character I love make decisions I strongly disagree with, understanding why they’re making those decisions, and seeing other characters not understand, and simply hate them for the decisions.

This isn’t exactly new, this is why I’ll never be able to shake my love for Starscream, even if his quality of motivation... varies by continuity. And Pharma and Prowl are two of my favorite characters in all of idw1 for exactly this reason. I’ve got at least three fics brushing up against Pharma’s resentment over ‘yes, i got ordered to run a hospital on a garbage planet I was sharing the most violent, sadistic decepticons in existence, I SURE WONDER WHY I WAS DRIVEN TO THIS DESPERATE POINT, BUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THINKS I’M JUST A TERRIBLE PERSON, SO I GUESS THAT’S THAT.’

And in the murderbot books, I genuinely get reduced to tears when murderbot has to deal with people compassionately interpreting its behavior instead of giving it no credit, the way its used to. I find the raksura books intensely, intensely satisfying in how Moon struggles to fit into a highly social, close-knit society after growing up so traumatized and alone, and how his colony gradually adapts to him and gets used to his quirks, instead of driving him out, the way he’s experienced so many times. No real conclusion here, I was just spacing out during a work training call, and got overtaken by how much I love characters who experience this particular flavor of emotional isolation.

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leechonspeeddial · 4 years

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Midnight Shift: Of Whispers and Forbidden Buns

Word count: 1283 Read on ao3

"You're that Cullen girl, right?"

I ignored their barely suppressed giggles, but gave them an acknowledging thumbs up. Sadly, that only set them off harder. It appeared one of the downsides of working at this Burger King, besides the obvious reasons, was its proximity to the local high school.

Rather than roll my eyes in their face, I made the executive decision to give them the soggiest, saddest, smallest fries. It seemed that after my — truthfully anticlimactic — departure of East Ladle High, I had become an even bigger curiosity than my "siblings". Ever since word got around that one of those 'rich and gorgeous Cullen kids' had dropped out in favour of working a shitty customer service job, I had to deal with gaggles of teenagers showing up during lunch time to gawk at me.

"We'll call out when your order is ready, you guys can sit down" I smiled widely — fakely — and handed the assholes their soda cups. At least is was just the mean girl wannabe type today, dealing with the creepy admirers was nothing short of exhausting. If only because it made Edward even more unbearable than usual. I mentally grimaced at the memories.

When it became obvious I wasn't reacting to their bait, the girls finally walked away, whispering to each other, towards the tables — but as far from Jeremiah as they could manage. They clearly hated being here; they seemed to be specially disgusted over the omnipresent stickiness that plagued each surface in the building, but fuck them. No one made them come here, their choices were theirs, and they should just suck it up.

...

I'm not projecting. I'm not.

"Only two today, Res. Think you're becoming old news"

"That's Resentment Cannibal to you, old man," one of the upsides of working at Burger King had to be None of Your Fucking Business Kevin. Living with the Cullens meant being surrounded by people who mentally stopped developing before their brains were done cooking. The aforementioned Kevin — not to be confused with Gay Kevin or Straight Kevin — was forty-none-of-your-business-kid years old and the oldest person I regularly talked to ever since we left Forks over a decade ago. It was refreshing to spend time with someone who wasn't a teenager frozen in time and who was just so painfully human.

"Ok, cool it, Edgy Annie," he rolled his green eyes but still offered me some of his jalapeno cheddar bites. I gingerly grabbed a couple and munched on the mediocre and oily cheesy goodies.

"Thought you wanted to go on a diet," a particularly loud snort made me look towards the assholes who made my day worse. They were still whispering and glancing at me, as if I was something more interesting than a Burger King employee.

I mean. I was. But, like, they didn't know that. Couldn't know that.

"Ugh. Gross. No. I said I wanted to lose weight," I looked back at the man and raised my eyebrow.

"And how are you going to do that, if not by not devouring your weight in cheese?"

"You sound just like my little brother. He's a total granola freak. Eats kale and actually enjoys it," he shuddered and this time I rolled my eyes.

A soft thud signalled that the girls' order was ready, so I grabbed their meal and put it on a tray.

"Original Chicken Sandwich and Big Fish?" The blonde with glasses approached the counter and grabbed the tray. She didn't move away.

"Yes?" I asked hoping to convey how little I wanted to help her. If Gay Kevin hadn't already lectured me this week over being rude to customers, I so would tell her exactly what I'd do with her stupid stinky sandwich and exactly where I would shove that fish patty if she didn't fucking scram.

"Is it true?" I couldn't stop myself from looking surprised.

"Is what true?" Blondie quickly looked around the restaurant — pathetically empty, as always — and leaned slightly over the counter. I resisted the urge to also lean forward, because...because fuck her, damn it.

"That your brother knocked you up"

What the actual fuck.

I blinked and barely even noticed None of Your Fucking Business Kevin choking out of the corner of my eye. For the first time in my life, I was left speechless.

Blondie took my silence as an invitation to continue talking — clearly unaware of how easily I could murder her and get rid of the body.

"That's what everyone is saying. That you dropped out because your parents disowned you after they found out"

"Are you fucking high? Am I fucking high right now?" Were the cheddar bites actually Straight Kevin's edibles? Because there was no way this was a conversation that was actually happening in real life. Were Bella and Edward right? Was this Burger King really hell?

"Which brother?" I glared at the fucker. I was taking back everything nice I ever said about None of Your Fucking Business Kevin, the traitor.

Blondie's grin widened, revealing the most evil of dimples.

"Her brother-brother. Not the foster/step ones," my eyes widened and I barely managed to repress my gagging. Of course, my fucking father. Fucking Edward.

I wanted to die.

I said as much.

"So its true?" Blondie's friend, High-Pony, apparently was now at the counter too. Fantastic.

Blondie and High-Pony both stared expectantly at me.

"Let me get this straight. Apparently, my brother," I actually gagged this time, "knocked me up and my parents decided to only disown me? Is that right?"

The girls nodded in sync, like the demons they were.

"You get why that makes no sense, right? Why not disown Edward too?"

"The patriarchy" High-Pony shrugged. I closed my eyes and slowly counted down from ten.

"Ok, this is what's going to happen" I clapped between words, trying to keep my hands from strangling two innocent teenagers in front of my coworker. "You two are going to take your crappy food to go and I promise I won't spit on your food the next time you come here" the girls scoffed and showed no signs of moving.

"Jeremiah, buddy, could you please walk these girls out? There's a pie with your name on it if you can lend us a hand" Ok, the traitor wasn't so bad after all. But he was on thin ice.

Blondie and High-Pony didn't waste a second getting out the store after hearing that. It really was disgusting how some people reacted to Jeremiah.

"Am I still getting that pie, Freckles?" I smirked and heard None of Your Fucking Business Kevin sigh. No one here had any intention of using his real name.

"Of course, Jem. Your choice" Jeremiah's smile lit up his face, the room even.

"You're not so bad, ya know. Despite your crap taste in music" And now they were arguing about old people music again. A tired argument that no one won, but amused Jeremiah endlessly.

It was moments like these that reminded me why I dropped out and got a job here in the first place. I felt more alive after spending one day with Jeremiah and the Kevins than a decade with the Cullens. The Cullens were just...unreachable.

They were so detached of humanity, despite their proximity to it. But, just like in The Creation of Adam, the divine doesn't actually touch the human. They just gaze down, firmly on different levels from each other. They cared more to attain the aesthetics and the possessions than to develop actual relationships. Why bother living among humans, faking humanity, if you were going to keep them at an arm's length?

I shook my head and joined in the argument.

#twilight fanfiction #twilight renaissance #resentment cullen #midnight shift #renesmee cullen

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years

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Won’t You Stay (Part 5)

Summary: The reader has dinner with her family and Jensen and the pair finally make a decision on their friendship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x Director!reader

Word Count: 2,900ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Please enjoy!

______

Saturday Night

“Should I ask Marcus to winter formal?” asked Ella, pacing around her room nonstop. You raised an eyebrow at her from where you lay on her bed, Anthony shaking his head from the other side. “I was asking Y/N, not the guy that won’t even go with his boyfriend.”

“Ella,” you said, hanging your head off the edge of her bed. “If Anthony doesn’t want to go broadcast something he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to. Also, you don’t need a date. Go with your friends. It’s more fun anyways.”

“Yeah but Marcus is cute and all my friends have boyfriends,” she said, sighing as she stood in front of her closet and held up her dress.

“Don’t have a boyfriend because your friends do, Ella. It is so not worth the aggravation,” you said. “Boys are never worth the aggravation.”

“Agreed,” they both said, a tiny smile on your face.

“Why’d you break up with Logan again?” asked Anthony. You sighed and let out a long groan. “He was good looking.”

“Being attractive has nothing to do with having a good relationship,” you said.

“Yeah, but like even mom and dad don’t know what happened between you-” said Ella, cutting herself off when you sat up with a glare.

“I thought I asked you two to never bring him up again,” you said. “It’s over and that’s it.”

“Did he cheat on you?” asked Ella. You scoffed and closed your eyes. “If he cheated-”

“Mind your own fucking business,” you snapped. She stared at you, a little misty eyed and you squeezed yours shut. You’d never swore at her before and knew she’d beat herself up about it if you didn’t nip it in the bud. “El, I’m sorry. Logan...he broke my heart. It hurt. A lot. I thought he was the person I was going to end up with. He wasn’t the person I thought he was though. Obviously it’s still a sensitive subject for me. I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled. She went over to her window seat and plopped down, turning her head to look out the dark window.

“Ella bear,” you said, standing up and walking over, sitting next to her and pulling her into a hug. “I love you.”

“When I broke up with Brady, you told me it wasn’t the end of the world and it felt like it,” she said, looking up at you. “Why’s Logan different?”

“Things are different when you’re older, when you’re in a long term relationship and it ends,” you said. “Forgive me?”

“Yeah. Sorry,” she said, giving you back a hug before she set her sights on Anthony. “So what’s the deal with you and Nolan?”

“He kinda wants to tell his parents about us and I don’t want to do that until mom and dad know and I’m not ready to tell them,” he said, tossing his baseball up and down. “Y/N, what do you think?”

“Well it’s a personal thing. You should tell them when you’re ready. If Nolan’s ready that’s his choice but he should respect yours too,” you said. “Honestly if you two are going to keep having sex though, maybe-”

“Y/N,” he groaned. “I thought I told you not to talk about that stuff with Ella here.”

“I took health class too, idiot,” she said.

“I’m not talking about sex with my little sister,” he said.

“She’s sixteen. She knows what it is,” you said. “If you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it.”

“I don’t get the big deal in telling mom and dad you have a boyfriend,” said Ella. “They wouldn’t have a problem with it.”

“I’m just not ready, El. Forget I said anything,” said Anthony, tossing his ball one more time before you caught it.

“Don’t let Nolan pressure you into saying something either, okay?” you asked. Anthony smiled and nodded.

“He wouldn’t. We’ll just wait until we’re both ready to tell them,” he said. You tossed his ball back, the doorbell ringing in the distance.

“Kids! Our guest is here!” shouted your dad from downstairs.

“Guest? God, is it another stupid studio executive?” groaned Ella as she stood up. “I hate those guys.”

“It’s dad’s costar. Jensen Ackles,” you said, waving them both to follow you. “He’s nice. You’ll like him.”

“What’s he been in?” asked Anthony. “He sounds vaguely familiar.”

“Some of those teenage shows you like. He was on some horror show for a few years and stuff before that,” you said. “Come on you two.”

Anthony typed away on his phone as they dragged their feet down the hall, freezing and getting a sigh from you.

“Oh wow,” said Anthony, holding up his phone for Ella to see. “He’s hot.”

“Oh, move over Gil Nicholas,” said Ella. “He is so much better looking. He’s taller too.”

“Guys. Behave,” you said as you walked towards the top of the stairs. You headed downstairs with them on your tail, Jensen handing over his coat to your mom in the foyer. “Hey, Jay.”

“Hey,” he said, smoothing out his light blue button up. He had a pair of nice jeans on, some red and blue socks on his feet, a pair of boots tucked away on the mat by the closet door. “You must be Ella and Anthony.”

“Well hello,” said Ella, pausing at the bottom of the stairs, looking him up and down. You rolled your eyes and smacked her arm.

“Ella. Stop staring at him like he’s meat,” you said. “Excuse her. She’s normally not such an idiot.”

“What? He’s hot,” she said as your mom stepped back over and tilted her head.

“Ella, that’s rude. I’m sorry for my daughter,” said your mom to Jensen. “Ella apologize.”

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly.

“It’s okay,” said Jensen with a chuckle. “I heard someone had a rough volleyball game yesterday and someone else had an even rougher AP History test.”

“Uh yeah,” said Anthony. “How’d you know that?”

“Your dad likes to brag about you guys,” said Jensen with a smile. “A lot.”

“Guys, please go set the table,” said your mom, shooing them out of the foyer. They both headed for the dining room, Jensen standing there with you looking around.

“Your house is beautiful, Mrs. Y/L/N,” said Jensen, tilting his head up to look at the beams going up across the two story foyer area. “And massive.”

“Thank you and it’s Dani, Jensen,” said your mom, offering him a friendly smile. “Y/N. Entertain Jensen for a moment. We’re running a few minutes late with dinner.”

She went back towards the kitchen, Jensen walking slowly with you down the main hall, looking at a few pictures hung on the wall.

“Aw, that’s adorable,” he said, pointing at a picture of you and your dad from your first day of kindergarten. He didn’t look too much different nowadays, maybe a little less boyish but you’d seen him wear the same shirt on Tuesday to work. You had on a tonka truck shirt and purple shorts, hair pulled back in a high pony. You rolled your eyes and he let out a laugh. “You look cute.”

“Dad tried his best. Fashion has never been his expertise,” you said.

“When did your mom come into the picture?”

“I was ten. It all happened very quickly. They got married and started having kids soon after that,” you said. “Anthony and then Ella.”

“Even the perfect people’s lives aren’t as perfect as they seem,” he said, looking at one of you behind a film camera when you were little. “You’re lucky to have a dad like him.”

“I know I am,” you said. He smiled and walked down the hall some more, stopping at a few pictures, smirking at one in particular. “Oh shut up, Ackles.”

“That is a perfect picture if I do say so,” said Jensen with a laugh.

“I fully agree,” said your dad as he popped out from the kitchen. “She’s got a hell of a mess of bed head. Still does.”

“I can see,” he said, giving you a shit eating grin.

“I so love it when we have guests over,” you said, your dad pushing you both into the kitchen.

“What’s your poison, Jensen?” asked your dad, holding up a bottle of red wine. Jensen spun around in circles, taking in the space and the open family room. “Kid.”

“I’ll have a glass of whatever’s open,” said Jensen, returning his attention to your parents.

“I can get behind that. Y/N,” said your dad, sliding the bottle over to you. You hummed and poured four glasses, handing one to Jensen. “The house isn’t that nice.”

“You should see my apartment,” mumbled Jensen.

“You’re over in Sunrise Ridge, right?” he asked. Your ears perked up and your dad laughed. “I’m surprised you remember.”

“I remember the pool,” you said.

“You guys lived over there?” asked Jensen. Your dad nodded and took a drink. “Seriously?”

“We all start from somewhere,” said your dad. “Someday soon maybe you can get in a nicer place.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind it,” he said.

“How are you feeling, Jensen? Ethan said you were hurt on set this week,” said your mom as she worked on the other side of the island.

“Oh, I’m okay. A few bandages and I’m good as new,” said Jensen. “Y/N’s actually the one that made sure I didn’t get hurt worse. I think she got in a bit of trouble over it.”

“Yeah well, that’s my job,” you said as you sipped on your glass.

“Y/N was almost a nurse actually before she worked in an office for a few years. She likes helping people,” said your mom. “We were a little surprised she followed her dad’s footsteps.”

“Well stories help people,” said Jensen. “They can be hopeful or inspiring. I mean, the story Y/N wrote was very inspiring. That helps people.”

Your parents glanced at one another and shared a look.

“I like him,” said your mom, Jensen chuckling. “Do you have a girlfriend, Jensen?”

“Uh, no. I’m on my own at the moment,” he said.

“Enjoy being single,” said your dad. “Both of you.”

“Well the girls will be fawning over you once the movie comes out,” said your mom. “May need to look into a bodyguard.”

Jensen laughed but no one else did, his face quickly frowning.

“Wait, you’re serious?” he asked.

“Uncle Brody hangs out sometimes with dad or us,” you said, Jensen raising an eyebrow. “Uncle Brody is dad’s bodyguard if you didn’t catch that.”

“Being famous has its occasional flaws,” said your dad. “If this thing blows up though, which odds are it might, let me know and we’ll get you hooked up with someone. It’s not an all the time thing, I promise.”

“Here I thought I was just playing a character,” said Jensen.

“Are you playing Lyle?” asked Anthony as he walked in with Ella. Jensen spun around with a smile and hummed. “Wow, he’s even got green eyes like him too.”

“Don’t you hate when those pesky authors throw out specific character traits,” chuckled your dad. You gave him a look, your mom handing a few dishes to the other guys to carry into the dining room.

“I was willing to compromise on the eye color when it came to the actor I recall,” you said.

“Mhm. I recall that going a tad different,” he hummed, flipping something over in the pan. “Go on and take Jensen to the dining room. Dinner will be out in a few minutes.”

“It’s a little funny,” said Jensen as you headed out with him around the corner, finding a seat for him in there. “Seeing you not at work I mean. You’re always so in charge there. With your family you’re a lot more laid back.”

“If I’m being honest, it makes me horribly uncomfortable to be in charge like that,” you said.

“Why do it then?” he asked.

“Sometimes you have to do scary things for stuff you care about. They wanted to shred my book apart and make it a summer blockbuster,” you said. “They wanted to make Hale the bad guy at the end if you can believe it.”

“It would have ruined it,” said Jensen with a scoff. “What idiot came up with that? It’s so stupid. It would have made everything pointless.”

“I know. I fought to be director to save it and I won. Now I hope I don’t ruin it,” you said.

“You’ll be great,” said Jensen as he pulled out your chair for you. You sat down with a smile, Jensen taking the one across from you. “I promise.”

“Dinner was delicious,” said Jensen as he headed out a few hours later. “Thank you for having me over.”

“We’ll do it again sometime,” said your dad as your mom handed him his coat. “A home cooked meal is good now and then. I know your family isn’t around here. Stop over every once in a while. Dani knows how to cook a mean prime rib.”

“I may take you up on that,” said Jensen as he pulled on his jacket.

“Well and the kids adored you which they rarely do with their father’s guests. We’d much rather have you over than Gil Nicholas. He’s such a little douchebag,” said your mom. You smirked, Jensen chuckling.

“I’ve heard the rumors,” said Jensen. “Next time I’ll be sure to bring a dish over. My mom always said don’t come empty handed to a dinner party.”

“Your mother taught you very good manners,” said your mom.

“Sure you don’t want to stick around for another drink?” asked your dad.

“I would but I have to drive,” said Jensen. “I appreciate the offer though. Another time for sure.”

“I understand. Well have a good rest of your weekend, Jensen. Try to take a little time to relax. We got another long week ahead of us,” said your dad.

“I think I’m going to head home too, try to catch up on sleep,” you said.

“Alright. You young guns go home. Y/N, text us when you get there,” he said.

“Mhm. Night,” you said, heading outside, walking with Jensen down the front steps. “Hey, hold up a second.”

“Yes?” he asked, following you to your car. You opened the passenger seat and pulled out a small bag, handing it over to him. He tilted his head as he opened it up, smiling wide as he reached inside and pulled out his gift. “A first edition copy of The Dark Woods. I love it. You didn’t have to do that Y/N.”

“I even signed it for you,” you said, Jensen flipping open the front cover and glancing at you.

“Did you just ask me out through a book?” he asked.

“Did it work?” you asked, Jensen smirking. “You had a point yesterday. I don’t think anyone is ever ready for a relationship or the timing is right. But I like you and you’re sweet and I haven’t liked anyone in years.”

“Do you want to go grab some dessert?” he asked with a big smile.

“Is this a date?”

“Maybe,” he teased.

“Oh, well if you’re gonna tease, I can do that too,” you said, turning back into the car and pulling out another bag. He stared at it before he tore into it, wide eyed and looking over at you.

“The Dark Night. A Lyle Sullivan story,” he said, staring at the plain black covered book. “What-”

“It’s the second book. That’s an unpublished copy of the first edition. Only about ten people have read it so far but I figured you might really enjoy it,” you said.

“This is literally the coolest gift I have ever gotten,” he said, looking the book over, already flipping through it.

“Okay, fanboy. Let’s grab some dessert and then you can spend all day tomorrow nose deep in that thing,” you said.

“Tomorrow? I’m staying up and reading this tonight!” he said with a laugh. “This is awesome. I can’t wait to check it out. After dessert of course.”

“After you, Ackles.”

______

A/N: Read Part 6 here!

#supernatural #spn #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #supernatural series #supernatural reader insert #jensen ackles x reader #spn reader insert #jensen reader insert #jensen x #jensen ackles x you

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sepublic · 4 years

Text

Amity’s Guilt is Complicated

I feel like another tragedy to the revelations of Understanding Willow is that… Had it been revealed that it WAS Amity’s decision to reject Willow as initially believed, that’d have made things a lot simpler. At that point, the scenario is clear-cut and dry; Amity did a bad thing, she should apologize, recognize that what she did was incorrect, etc. Willow’s anger at Amity and betrayal would be far less tragic, because Amity DID bring this upon herself, admittedly- Even if she has changed for the better.

…But it’s not that easy. It’s not as easy as ‘Amity did wrong and Willow is right to be angry’, even if that isn’t incorrect, either. But there’s a lot more nuance to the situation; Specifically in not just Odalia and Alador threatening Amity… But them threatening Willow as well. And then the situation and the anger becomes a lot more complicated, because- Amity wasn’t acting selfishly, not completely. She arguably didn’t have much of, if ANY, choice in what to do- That her rejection of Willow was the only thing Amity could’ve done, and/or it was the BEST decision in that scenario… So surely she can’t be blamed, it’s okay right?

The thing is, it’s not. Even if you went with the idea that Amity did the best thing in that scenario, whether or not you believe that this was Amity’s only choice- She still genuinely hurt and traumatized Willow. Like, regardless of the discussion of how Amity should’ve defended Willow from Boscha and the others more, and not participated in the bullying herself (and that segues into another speculation about how Amity may not have even been malicious in that scenario), Willow has every right to be angry at Amity. Amity had her ostracized, Amity betrayed her… And even if Amity WAS forced to do it, even if there was arguably no other choice to make, even if Willow would’ve done the same, had their positions been reversed…

Amity still traumatized her best friend. And Willow can’t ignore that, and it’s harder for her to just be angry at Amity, because with the original explanation, she knows all of her anger is justified, there’s nothing to sweat about. But now, the truth makes it more complicated; That Amity was also acting in Willow’s best interest, as much as she could’ve. Amity herself is ALSO a victim, but then so is Willow, and it’s a lethal cycle of abuse. Suddenly, the conflict is not as simple as ‘Amity apologizes and changes her behavior’, because now Odalia and Alador come into the stage to complicate things, to influence interactions as their own players. Amity and Willow’s friendship isn’t exactly confined/isolated any longer, they now have to consider Amity’s parents and address that.

It could’ve been the end of the problems, had it been just Amity who rejected Willow. But because we know of her parents and what they did… The resolution and reveal takes on a bittersweet twist, because we know that things are worse, that Amity is still actively suffering, and has been for all of her life. We’ve just discovered a new problem on our hands, and the issue has expanded to an almost systemic range; As now Luz has to tackle the very environment that made Amity the way she was. And said ‘environment’ is not passive, but a very active duo of people who are aggressive about what they want, and straight-up dangerous.

And likewise- Can Willow continue to be angry at Amity? Can she allow herself to, or does her righteous rage feel invalidated? Even if Willow were to redirect her anger at Odalia and Alador, again- Amity still went through with it. It’d be so much easier if Amity had agency in her rejection, but she didn’t, and now Willow has to figure out whether or not she can forgive Amity because of this, in addition to her changed behavior; And whether or not she needs to forgive Amity in order to reconnect. Because Amity’s rejection was no doubt one of the most definitive turning points in Willow’s life, and she clearly misses those innocent times they had together.

It’d be easy to just go back to that, because Amity didn’t REALLY mean it, she was forced to… But Willow can’t forget what happened. And even if she can’t fault Amity for what she did, Willow is still justified in not wanting to reconnect- That she’s no longer as mad, but they still can’t be friends because damage HAD been dealt, regardless of the reason. Because there’s a difference between not blaming Amity for what she did, and deciding to go back to being friends- They are not mutually inclusive.

It’s a messy dilemma, and in some ways it makes it easier to forgive- But in other ways, it makes past resentment and justified feelings of negativity a lot harder to bear, because now Willow is doubting herself and if her emotions are okay. If she’s valid in still not quite being ready to forgive Amity, for still feeling angry with Amity about what happened in the past, even with new context. And it just makes Willow question if by forgiving, she’s being too weak and allowing others to step over her; Or by still maintaining her anger, Willow is being too harsh and bitter.

Willow at least understands, a lot more- But can she forgive? And it just plays into her explaining to Amity that it’s a start; That even if things are no longer adversarial between them, they still have yet to genuinely interact with one another on their own, of their own volitions, and not over their shared friend Luz. Willow might’ve accepted that her friendship with Amity was irreparable if she knew that it was Amity’s fault; But with the truth of Odalia and Alador, it’s a lot harder to make that kind of condemnation, and a lot more frustrating because the situation is no longer black-and-white, and thus making the decision of forgiveness a lot more clear-cut and dry, because Willow understands exactly how she feels about this or that.

Maybe that’s part of the reason why Amity never explained to Willow, why they couldn’t be friends at first; Aside from the issue of not wanting to admit that her parents are abusive to someone else (especially given Odalia and Alador’s emphasis on making the Blight family look good), maybe Amity thought it’d be easier to handle the rejection, if Willow wasn’t mired by the complexity of the situation. That it’d be easier to handle the loss of friendship for Willow, if Willow was able to hate Amity- But now that she can’t, that just makes what was lost so much more painful. Still, it’s closure, and it’s the truth- And that’s what Willow deserves. And I don’t think Amity and Willow could truly reconcile, had Amity not admitted this- Because it’d always be in the back of her head, a secret kept, information that the other deserves to know.

In some ways, I guess I could liken the situation to Lilith in Agony of a Witch; How she was being threatened with execution by Belos… How she was planning to cure Eda and rescue her from a fate worse than death, how she didn’t necessarily capture Luz on her own, Luz was already to be arrested for trying to steal the Healing Hat; How Lilith did everything with the best intentions, perhaps the only thing she could’ve done… But in the end, Luz and Eda are fully justified in their trauma, and any resentment they hold towards Lilith regardless. And it’s painful, because you can argue that Lilith doesn’t deserve to have this held against her; But the damage has been done. And even if Luz and Eda DO forgive her afterwards, all of their anger and betrayal at Lilith, for what she did during Agony of a Witch- It’s still justified. And it hurts, because Lilith didn’t truly choose this, she didn’t fully accept this of her own choice; She lacked quite a bit of agency.

And while I don’t want to downplay the choices she did make, it just makes Luz and Eda (and Willow for Amity) be forced to consider things from her perspective, to challenge themselves with the question of what they’d have done, in that situation. And even if THEY, personally, would not have done the same; Lilith and Amity, they’re not the same person as them, for better or worse. They have different personality traits that aren’t better or worse, but can lead to them making the wrong decision in certain scenarios. The problem is more than just this individual, it’s other individuals, and even an entire system that enables and makes things worse; And now the protagonists have to confront that. Belos isn’t just a ‘bad egg’, his entire Coven System is inherently flawed and needs to be undone, too- Belos being more kind and well-meaning wouldn’t erase that.

But while the actual nuance of the situation can make things more complicated, and a lot more difficult to figure out; In the end, I think it’s worth it, not just for the closure to find out the truth- But eventually, it CAN make forgiveness easier. However, the truth does make everything else that comes before that, a lot harder. The initial problem is no longer the root cause, but the symptom; And now the protagonists have to handle the very thing that causes all of these issues to arise as a result. Even if Amity apologized to Willow and changed her behavior, this all happened because of parental abuse- And she’s STILL undergoing parental abuse, and you can’t ignore this, the cat’s out of the bag and the can of worms have been opened. Even if Lilith figured out a way to cure Eda of the curse, she still cursed her sister because of a system set up by Belos; And there are plenty of other kids in that system, too.

#the owl house #toh #the owl house amity #amity blight #the owl house willow #willow park #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #meta

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standbi-ghost · 4 years

Text

Guess I’ll Just kms

Words: 1812

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicide (technically), suicidal thoughts, panic attack

Go say hi on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27387829

In order to go ghost, Danny has to kill himself. It isn’t that bad really, but when his mom finds a journal where he keeps track of the best ways to kill himself (which sounds sketch in and of itself) and thinks he’s suicidal, he has an important decision to make.

It was a grounding feeling; the cold touch of a knife pressed to his throat. What once would’ve frightened him to no end, was now becoming something of a constant in his otherwise chaotic life. He let the knife find its keep and in seconds, his Jugular vein was sliced.

As he let the all too familiar feeling of his ghostly transformation happen, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the ghastliness of his situation. Was this technically suicide? No, probably not, it’s not like he was actually dying, just, playing dead. Lots of animals do it in self-defense and this wasn’t that far off. Plus, Danny knew he didn’t want to die, or in his case, cease to exist, right?

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he turned to see Skulker already in a fighting stance. He sighed and shot into the sky ready for the chase to begin.

At the cursed hour of 4 in the morning, Danny found himself sneaking into his own room. He flopped onto his mattress and let out a long, well-deserved mind you, groan.

He felt like he’d been run over by a car which was probably because that’s exactly what happened. Hey, to be fair, he had also been invisible. How was the poor driver supposed to know Danny was stupidly floating in the middle of the road? The driver was fine too, a little shaken up but he managed to phase him out of his car before any damage was done to him.

He lazily snaked his arm into his abandoned backpack and pulled out a dying black notebook barely holding itself together by a thread. There were rips, tears, and folds everywhere and a suspicious amount of green and brown stains were spattered throughout the pages. He liked to joke that it was his own personal Death Note except the only one doing any dying was him. It had started out as a way to record which death methods were quick and easiest, which were dramatic but efficient, which shouldn’t be tried again, but it had developed into a coping mechanism of sorts, some kind of morbid diary filled with a mixture rants and execution plans. He flipped to the next clean page and began to write his death-of-the-day and the events that followed.

A sinking calm settled into his core as he continued to rant about missing yet another test because of Skulker. He was halfway done with the entry when his eyes began to flutter closed, no longer being able to fight his body’s plea for rest.

He didn’t hear the soft creak of his door open, didn’t see the hand reach out and take his notebook, didn’t feel that same hand run itself through his hair, giving way for a pair of lips to kiss his forehead.

When his alarm went off at the usual 6 am it always did, he didn’t notice the suffocating stagnant air in the room, just stretched out his sore limbs, rubbed his eyes awake, and went on with his usual morning routine.

As he made his way downstairs, Danny made sure to annoyingly, as any younger sibling should, yell at his sister.

“Jazz I swear to the Ancients that if you try and leave without me again, I will piss your pants, you know I can’t be late again, Mr. Lancer-”

His voice trailed off when he took in the sight of his parents before him.

His dad was avoiding direct eye contact in the most obvious manner. His mom was wearing a watery smile, most likely trying to mask whatever had both his parents so tense. For a second, he panicked. Had they figured it out? What was it? Was it the mannerism, the eyes, the hair?

“Danny?”

He looked up from his panicked haze and saw concern plastered on both his parents’ faces. It looked wrong.

“Uh- where’s Jazz?” he asked, looking around in a last-ditch effort to crawl out from under their crushing gaze.

“Jazz left for school early today, something about a meeting with one of the counselors” his dad quietly responded, almost like he was tiptoeing around Danny, which set off all kinds of red flags.

For one it was hard to forget his dad could even be that subdued, the man practically radiated excitement. He also seemed, tired. Not the kind of tired you get after working at a lab all day, no, this was a soul-crushing tired, one that reflected inner turmoil. He looked away to catch his mom’s gaze only to look Danny in the eyes again, a forced smile finding its way on his face.

“Danny boy, we just wanted to talk to you about some- about how you’re doing.”

“I- uh, don’t know what you mean dad” he stuttered out.

“You’ve just been really closed off lately and, as your parents, we worry Danny.”

He turned his wide eyes towards his mother. Had he heard her right? They worried? Had he been worrying his parents? Was he a distraction? He was already indirectly messing with their inventions but now he was distracting them too. What kind of son-

“I’m fine. I mean, school’s been, uh- something, but I’ve been dealing- “

“Danny, are you suicidal?”

It came out as a whisper, but it echoed loudly in his head.

All he could do was stare, mouth agape, desperately trying to form words in his favor.

Heavy wasn’t the right word to describe the air in the room. Suffocating came closer. How was he even supposed to respond to that? If he told his parents the truth, they would hate him for keeping it a secret for so long. For lying to them, manipulating them, making a fool out of them. They would do much worse than dissect him, they would no longer see him as their son and that cut deeper than any scalpel could. On the other hand, if he lied and told them he was suicidal, they would ship him off to a loony bin. They would stuff him with pills and strip his mind away from him leaving him an empty husk of a person. And would it even be a lie? How many times had the thought crossed his mind? How many times had he begged for death at the end of an alleyway, at the bottom of a ditch, passed out at the foot of his bed, only to get up, dust off, and continue to live- no- to exist as a drone.

His breath began to pick up- could he even call it a breath? He knew if he didn’t say something, anything, his parents would come up with their own answer. What was the question again? Why couldn’t he think straight? He would lose any and all control he may have had. Was he in control? Why couldn’t he control his own body? His own mind? His thoughts were racing, and he was dragging behind them. Why was everything moving so fast? Why couldn’t he catch a break for once? He felt like a cornered animal, quite literally too. A feral growl crawled out of his throat as he backed himself into a wall, attempting to make himself look less pathetic. Attempting to make himself look like a threat. Maybe then they’ll go away. Maybe then he would stop hurting so much.

Don’t let them know you’re weak.

They’ll hurt you.

They won’t understand.

They’ll never love you.

How could they love you?

You-

“Danny”

And just like that, the fog dispersed and he was left stranded in the empty halls of his mind. He felt the cold wall behind him taunting him with its cold embrace.

“Danny it’s okay, you’re okay, breathe”

That was his mom’s voice. He felt the adrenaline seep out of him, embarrassment taking its place. That was all the confirmation they needed. He was fucked. No matter what they thought of him before, nothing could erase the scene he had just caused. Ancients he was fucked. What even was that? What normal person freaks out over a simple question?

He groaned as he let his face fall into the palm of his hands. He felt a wave of shame wash over him as his mom took him in her arms.

For a moment everything was back to normal. There was still tension in the air, but it all melted in the warm embrace of his mom.

“I found your notebook last night.”

And with that, it all made sense. He flinched out of her embrace and felt shame at seeing the hurt on her face the action caused. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his chapped lips. Of course, the one escape he had was what had exposed him. It was naïve of him to think that no one would find the notebook he practically carried everywhere. Sooner or later this had been bound to happen, he just hoped it would be later. He had been careless and now he was paying for it.

“I guess I should come clean huh?” He would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared, terrified, but he couldn’t shake the possibility that maybe, maybe, his parents would support him, be there for him. The very thought left a warm feeling in him.

“It started a few weeks before Freshman year...”

And so, he let the dam break. 3 years filled with pain and fear poured out in a flurry of words. He found that, once he started, he couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t help but flinch as his dad reached out and took his small hands in his. He looked him dead in the eyes, searching for confirmation, that this was okay, and when Danny nodded, he pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, his mom following closely behind.

“Oh Danny, how could you not tell us?” his dad asked.

“We’re sorry for making you feel anything but loved and accepted. There is nothing you could do or become that could get rid of our love for you.”

So that’s how he found himself skipping school, in a cuddle pile with his parents, binge-watching Star Wars, Marvel movies, and the occasional Space Documentary.

And when Jazz got home after school that evening, she didn’t question the sight of her parents holding on to Danny for dear life in the middle of their living room, caught in a pile of pillows, blankets, and love, acceptance. She just smiled, shook her head, and made her way up the stairs.

She would have a talk with her brother about his mental health another time. Right now, she knew, everything would be okay.

“oh uh, you guys should probably stay far away from the red bulls in my room.”

“Wha- “

“I may or may not have filled them with arsenic...”

“Daniel James Fenton”

“It's death on the go!”

Everything would be okay.

#yall want angst?#angst #Danny Phantom #danny fenton #danny phantom au #alternate universe #fentons #maddie fenton #jack fenton #jazz fenton #fanfiction #suicide?#not really #panic attack #identity reveal #family fluff #angst with a happy ending

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destieltropecollection · 4 years

Photo

Destiel Trope Collection Day 25: Slow Burn

The difference between living and existing (WIP) | @lucy-is-alive

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6052 Main Tags/Warnings: John Winchester's A+ parenting, College AU, Sexuality crisis, PTSD, Childhood trauma, Recreational drug use, Angst and hurt/comfort Summary: As soon as he got the chance, Dean left his father behind and went to college. However, he never anticipated that the absence of the person who had disrupted his entire life would make it worse. With the help of his friends, he tries to navigate through the emotional hurricane that comes with complex PTSD.

Celestial | @deservetobesaved

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10585 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, mutual pining, fluff, emotional affair, bottom!dean Summary: Dean is in a less than stellar marriage, but he assumes things will work themselves out. At the same time, Mr. Castiel Novak becomes his new co-worker at school and Dean has to rethink everything he thought he had figured out.

Welcome to the Badlands (WIP) | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15386 Main Tags/Warnings: graphic violence, dystopian au, fusion, into the badlands au, slow burn Summary: The wars were so long ago, nobody even remembers. Darkness and fear ruled until the time of the Barons, seven men and women who forged order out of the chaos. People flocked to them for protection. That protection became servitude. They banished guns and trained armies of lethal fighters they called Clippers. This world is built on blood. Nobody is innocent here. Welcome to the Badlands.

Profound Kisses | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20700 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, post 8x07 canon divergent, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, angst with a happy ending, clueless! Castiel, pining!Dean, Top!Dean, Bottom!Cas, slow burn, love confessions, first kiss, french kiss, Sammy knows. Summary: Dean knows he's screwed. He discovers he is in love with Castiel in Purgatory, and now he can't even have the angel in front of him, because he knows it's a one sided love. It’s Valentine's day and Dean tries very hard to hook up as always, but he can't get Cas out of his mind. So he drives back to the motel, drunk, and he finds Castiel trying to help him. Then, when Dean asks Castiel for some experimental kisses and the angel accepts, Dean starts a very dangerous game… finding in Castiel's kisses the most delicious experiences, but also, his own perdition. Will Castiel fall in love with him? Or will he stay emotionless as always?

Hate me, but love me too | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23310 Main Tags/Warnings: Virgin!Dean,f hate spell, hate curse, younger!dean, older!sam, Grace Sharing, First Kiss, First Time, Hate Sex, Dubious Consent, Mildly Dubious Consent, Cas is cursed, (not really MCD but Cas isn't alive in the beginning), Castiel has sex with somebody else in the beginning(and Dean sees it), Heartbreakbut I will fix it! Summary: Dean’s whole life changes when his mother tells him that John isn’t his biological father and he needs to save the world from his sibling Adam, who is the King of Hell. But he can’t do that alone, he needs the best Hunter earth had, Castiel Novak.

Starstruck (WIP) | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 40860 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Slow Burn, Actor Dean, Single Parent Castiel, Pining Summary: From the outside Castiel Novak looks like a regular guy: a good job, two teenage kids, a nice house and a crappy car he’s way too attached to. But there’s one thing no one knows about him: that, over twenty years ago, he used to live next to no other than Dean Winchester – back then a brash and loud-mouthed boy and nowadays a huge movie star and Hollywood’s sweetheart. Castiel never bothered to tell anyone about his childhood friend because frankly, who would believe him? Probably even Dean himself already forgot about his former awkward and weird neighbor, so Castiel seriously doesn’t see any point in mentioning the whole thing ever. But then an interview on national TV happens where Dean reveals way more about his past than ever before … and Castiel - as well as the rest of the world - suddenly realizes that he left a much bigger impact on Dean’s life than he originally thought.

Letter to Dean Winchester (WIP) | @castielsangel-blade

Rating: Mature Word Count: 44182 Main Tags/Warnings: Past Lisa/Dean, Past Aaron/Dean, Past Castiel/Dean, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Mentions of Past Cheating, Mentions of Past Toxic Relationship, Gray Romantic Castiel, Asexual Castiel, Epistolary, Bisexual Dean Summary: Castiel writes and sends a letter to Dean Winchester. He wants closure for the toxic relationship they had in high school.

Falling Apart | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 49204 Main Tags/Warnings: minor character death, sam deceased when fic starts, alcoholism, drug misuse, addiction, rehab au, soulmate au, flashbacks, ptsd Summary: Sword & Cross Resident Rehabilitation is a last-ditch effort for Dean Winchester to move past the drug and drinking problems he developed to bury his guilt over the fire that killed his brother. Not to mention the wild visions and smoky, sentient shadows that have plagued him his entire life. It's supposed to be the best Savannah has to offer, but one look at the crumbling tile floors and dangling crown mouldings, and Dean has his doubts. Enter Castiel Novak. He’s rude, aloof, and a total dick from the moment they lay eyes on each other but Dean can’t help but feel a mysterious connection to the man. Maybe he really has lost his mind. But when Castiel starts making appearances in Dean’s vivid visions of the past, he knows there is more to their link than meets the eye. Even if Cas keeps telling him otherwise. It seems everyone at Sword & Cross knows what’s going on except for Dean. Trying to conquer his mountain of guilt and doubt and figure out the connection he is certain he shares with Castiel is only made harder by the “accidents” that seem to follow him. Not to mention his attraction to Gadreel. Whatever secret Castiel is trying so hard to keep, Dean knows he has to uncover it.

Will you be my ten inch hero? | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 57468 Main Tags/Warnings: Bullying, Homophobic Language, Abusive John Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, giving a baby to adoption (not between Destiel), Rape/Non-con Elements, John kicked Dean out, Virgin!Dean, surprise guest appereance, Minor Crowley (Supernatural)/Bobby Singer, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Minor Rowena MacLeod/Gabriel, two surprise pairings, not Ketch or Mick Davies friendly Summary: When John Winchester kicks Dean out, after he saw him kissing another boy, and Dean sees that Sam has a perfect life at Stanford without him, Dean starts a new life in Santa Cruz. He works at a tiny shop as a cook, has found some friends there, and is overall happy enough. That changes when Castiel comes into his shop and his Co-worker Azara, who has a different man every night, starts flirting with him right in front of Dean. Not that he would be jealous or anything, but there is something about Castiel that makes him weak in the knees. Only that Castiel would never want him back, right?

Roll With It | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 72818 Main Tags/Warnings: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Boss/Employee Relationship, Secretary Dean, Alternate Universe - Not Hunters, The Proposal AU, Alternate Universe, Romantic Comedy, Romance, Editor Castiel, Fluff and Angst, Sam Winchester at Stanford, POV Alternating, Geek Dean, Russian Castiel, Sharing a Bed, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Top Castiel, Bottom Dean, Misunderstandings, Tattooed Castiel, Love Confessions, Slow Burn Summary: For two years, Dean’s been slaving away beneath his boss – many label him a secretary, but he fucking hates that and feels like it only applies to someone wearing a pencil skirt, so he insists on his title of Executive Assistant. And for what? In the vain hope that one day he’ll manage to become an editor for Sandover Publishing, and that he’ll see the manuscript that he’s slaved over since college finally realized in print. That’s the dream, anyway. Right now, he’s fucking late. Dean wants to be an editor. Castiel just wants to stay in the country. ‘The Proposal’ – as you’ve never seen it before.

When the Magnolias bloom (WIP) | @flurryflair

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 92951 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, angst with a happy ending, mutual pining, human!Castiel, divorce, infidelity, middle aged destiel, explicit sexual content, top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, top Dean Winchester/bottom Castiel, POV alternating, unresolved sexual tension, denial of feelings, porn with feelings, anxiety attacks, manipulative relationship, unhealthy coping mechanisms, canon-typical violence, case fic, bisexual!Dean, demisexual!Castiel, semi-canon, minor Castiel/OMC, minor Dean Winchester/Lisa Braeden Summary: It's been ten years since the Apocalypse. Ten years without talking, without knowing one another. Castiel has a company to handle and a wedding to plan, Dean has a broken marriage and a decision to make. They have separate lives, lovers and families of their own, they aren't supposed to meet again, to mess it all up. And yet they do, when they least expect it, and maybe when they most need it. A story about second chances, about hope and resilience, and a love that feels both doomed and inevitable.

Unsung Melody (WIP) | @toomanyships-sendhelp

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 177617 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Character Death, AU Slaves, Slow Burn Summary: Dean runs a busy bar and grill in Lebanon, Kansas. Semi-retired from hunting, he'll still catch a case when one blows his way or the urge to hunt strikes him again. It isnt until a case that opened decades ago claims another victim and Dean has to get back in the game a little more than he expected.

#destiel trope collection 2020 #destiel trope collection #destiel #slow burn #day 25

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killiansprincss · 3 years

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Never Forget You ch. 15

Season 6A Canon Divergence.

Emma is happy. Finally happy with her parents, son and boyfriend. But this happiness is taken away from her when the Evil Queen curses her and turns her into a toddler.

Heartbroken and angry, Killian and Henry run away to Neverland to wait for Emma to break her curse. But when she does break it and comes looking for them 25 years later, she soon realises this Neverland is very different now it is no longer under Pans rule.

Will she be able to save Henry and Killian in time, or will this new ruler of Neverland keep them hostage forever?

Chapter 15 of my Neverland fic is here, I hope you enjoy it! Leave a comment if you liked it, they mean the world every comment I get :) AO3 Link

Previous chapters

Verena was worried about Cecelia. This was a dangerous plan to begin with, even before Hook and Henry’s family came for them. She’s proven that she will do anything to make sure the two of them stay on the Island. The Echo Caves were a dangerous torture device, once used to drive the darkest secrets out of fairies, so they could be exiled or executed. And she feared this was exactly what she planned to do.

Verena was worried, no, scared for what her sister was doing. She was afraid for her life, if she stayed by her side she could end up dead, if she betrayed her she would equally end up dead. She needed a way to help Henry’s family while making Cecelia think she was helping her.

_____

She watches the family as Cecelia does. Cecelia thinks Verena is watching them in the same way she is, searching for a weakness in them. She’s a smart fairy, but also very passionate about what she wants so could be willing to let a few pieces of information slip from her mind.

“Anything new?” Cecelia asks one morning.

Verena shakes her head, “Not at the moment. They’re mainly talking about their lives, what’s been happening in their land over the past 25 years. But I’ll keep watching, there may be something in here we can use.”

And then it hits her. She’s watching the boys grandparents talk about their journey, they had been through a lot during the Enchanted Forest with corrupt Kings and Queens. But there was one part of their story that stuck out.

A sleeping curse.

Verena knew of her sister's plans for the pirate and the boy. And if she could give their family time, time to defeat Cecelia, she would keep the pirate safe under a sleeping curse, that way Cecelia would not be able to touch him. Her sister would be defeated, and then Emma, if she loves him as she says she does, she will wake him up.

Verena doesn’t tell her sister of her plan, afraid she will do it herself with some sort of twist. No,she does this independently, and will show her sister the outcome.

____

Despite never being the biggest fan of Hook to begin with, he was his daughter's true love. And he had shown countless times how far he was willing to save her, and Emma for him. They all went to hell, the Underworld to save him. So it shocked him when Emma told them he was sleeping with the fairy. There was no way he would do that, he knew how much he loved his daughter.

“I think I need to have a little chat with our Pirate. Find out his intentions.” He tells his family. He wanted to speak to him alone, find out the truth about him.

Emma doesn't even bother to stop him. She’s still angry, hurt and upset with Hook. Nobody stops him.

/\/\/\/\

If there was one thing Killian Jones associated with Neverland, aside from Pan and the fairies, it was Rum.

Rum in some senses had been his only companion during his years in Neverland. When he had handed Bae over to Pan many years ago, he greatly regretted this decision every day and it haunted him. So he turned to Rum, and he drank it every day to make him forget what the horrible consequences of that decision was. He couldn’t run away from his problems, he was in Neverland and needed the eternal youth it provided him with, so Rum could help ease his mind and put those worries to the back of his mind.

He doesn’t sleep. He made that mistake enough times to know it’s a bad idea. In his first days of Neverland before he met Emma he would see Liam. And if he didn’t see Liam, he would see Milah.

“Killian. Killian.”

He kept hearing a voice, it sounded an awful lot like his brother. But he knew better than to think his brother came back to life.

Except he kept hearing it. He opened his eyes to see Liam Jones standing in front of him.

“Liam?”

“Little brother what are you doing?” His voice was hoarse and bitter.

“Liam? Is it really you?” He was shocked to see him just walking around like it was nothing.

“Of course it’s me you bloody bastard! What are you doing with your life, little brother? This isn’t what we planned.” He was angry with him, that was sure.

“I’m sorry. Liam. You died. I messed up. I can’t trust the Navy, they killed you. I had to avenge your death.” It was true what Liam was saying, this wasn’t Killians plan-they planned for Liam to captain the Jewel of the Realm for a few years with Killian as Lieutenant until Killian would Captain his own ship one day. They would sail under the Kings Realm as the Jones Brothers, 2 of the finest Captains their kingdom had seen.

“Pirate, Killian? Really? Pirates were our worst enemy, and is that Rum? After all your talk of Good Form? The moment I’m gone, you become a drunk pirate?” This wasn’t Liam, or at least the Liam he knew once.

“You’re not Liam are you? What are you? Demon reveal yourself?” He could tell it wasn’t him by the way he spoke about his choices. Yes it wasn’t their original plan, but he wouldn’t judge his decisions so harshly considering what happened. And he would never call him a drunk. Never.

The demon was revealed to be a shadow. The shadow demons would take the form of another to try and trick you, or reveal dark desires. He learnt that the hard way when Pan when he revealed a dark secret about Milah.

“We wouldn’t want poor Bae finding out his mother’s darkest secret now do we?” Pan taunted him, he was unsure whether it was 50 years into his time in Neverland or 200.

At the time he had no idea how he found out. “Captain you can’t be so foolish as to speak to every shadow demon you see. O matter how many times it appears as Bae’s mother.”

When he realises it was just a bloody demon and not actually Milah's ghost or spirit, he goes back to his ship and drinks as much rum as it takes until he passes out.

Passing out from too much rum had become a regular occurrence for Killian, and slowly turned into a habit. The only way he could get through the days and nights which along with the time moving differently that had turned into a blur.

When Killian arrived back in Neverland with Henry, he told himself he wouldn’t use rum like that again. But that changed when he realised the shadow demons were Neverland speciality, not just Pan’s.

He sees Emma. He’d recognise her face anywhere, her blonde hair loose, green eyes shining as they always did, and her red jacket.

“You left me.” Emma grumbles.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry love. I didn’t know what to do.” He apologises and apologises to her, but she won’t hear his cries or his pleas, she just keeps repeating

“You. Left. Me”

It takes a while for him to understand that this was a demon. The demon looked so like Emma, and he so wanted to see her, to bring him home.

But that was a long time ago. 1,000 years could’ve passed, that’s how Neverland works. And the only thing that could help him see past the demons was Rum. And lots of it. Neverland had an unlimited magic supply of the stuff so it was an easy fix to his daily problems. Especially after what happened with Eli, he couldn’t bare to look at his brothers face without feeling an enormous sense of guilt, so he would drink and drink and wake up the next morning with no clue what happened. It was best this way, just drink the pain away.

He pushes Henry away too. And he hates himself for it. But the poor lad looks so like his mother, he’s only reminded of the blasted reason they’re here every time he looks at him. He came aboard the Jolly one day with his ever present smile and boyish grin, ever the positive lad. He tells him to get off his ship, raising his voice at him.

“I-I don’t understand.” The poor lad trembles.

“I want you off my ship. Don’t ever come back onto my ship without a direct invitation from me first.” Killian snaps at him. He cringes at the memory, but he was angry once again at the universe and he took it out on Henry who was a painful reminder of the woman he lost.

Emma would be ashamed if she knew how he had been treating him, he made a vow to protect him and he had broken it. He’d done worse than broke the vow to protect him, he banished him from the only familiar place on the damn Island.

He only sees Henry in the Lost Ones clearing each night. They don’t ever say more than a few words to another at first. But then as time goes on in Neverland, and Henry forgives him, well he doesn’t outright say he forgives him, but he asks how he is. Henry knew better than to ask about his mother, Henry was having his own awful dreams of her, he knew it would only be worse for Killian. They keep their distance but Henry knows Killian isn’t okay, he notices how he drinks and drinks, each night, sometimes he will sit down and say nothing the entire night except mumbles which Henry can’t make out. He drinks his flask of rum, some nights he even has 2 flasks.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“Emma that you?” Killain asks as he hears a knock on the door to his hut.

“Sorry to disappoint.” Oh it was Dave, “She’s not coming.”

“I didn’t sleep with Cecelia. I don’t know what she showed Emma, but I swear on my life that nothing has happened since I returned to this blasted Island.”

“I know.” David knew, he knew fairies, especially darker fairies were unpleasant creatures who created a web of lies and deceit to fulfil their desires.

“You do?”

The Prince nods at his once almost son in law. “You love Emma, I see it. I saw how it broke you when she was cursed. You ran away to Neverland, with Henry to protect him against seeing the person you both love not recognise you. The place that is filled with your own personal demons and nightmares. You came because you love Emma. I’d do the same for Snow.”

Killian breathes a sigh of relief, “you have no idea how much it means that you believe me. I just wished there was a way to show Emma.”

“You know what she’s like, stubborn as hell.” David laughs. “Give her some space. She’ll realise soon enough that the fairy is messing with her. Just stay on our side and we can figure out how to defeat -“

He is cut short as he senses movement outside Killians window.

“Verena!” Killain says as he and David grab their nearest weapon as the fairy poofs in front of them.

“I’m so sorry. I swear I’m on your side, my sister has much darker plans for you so this is something I have to do. If the woman you love truly feels the way you do, then she’ll wake you.”

One moment Killain is pointing his sword at the fairy dressed in red, and the next moment he suddenly feels sleepy and hits the ground as slumber.

“What the hell did you do to him?” David asks, sword pointing at the fairy.

The fairy clicks her fingers causing the Prince to fall to the ground,

“I’m afraid it’s for the best.” She whispers as she takes the Pirates body and disappears in a puff of red smoke.

#never forget you #my writing #captain swan #cs ff #cs fic rec #captain swan ff #fanfic #Emma swan #Killian jones

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justmyimagination92 · 5 years

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Why Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and Theon Greyjoy are similar, beautifully grey and real characters that represent overcoming abuse and manipulation and it makes no sense to love one but hate the other, a thread:

*Disclaimer* I have only watched the GoT series & SW movies, I have not read the books or comics for either series but I have done research into both so anything I’m pulling that’s not from the movies or show has been taken from research/information I have gathered from others who have used these sources for their own opinions/arguments/statements as well as from a GoT class I took my senior year of college

Life of Mental/Physical Abuse:

They both had mentally abusive upbringings which is obvious to say has a huge effect on your development and how you perceive the world around you. Theon was the youngest of 4, known to cling more to his mother and not care as much about the ironborn mentality of piracy and raiding as his older brothers did. He was constantly tormented and bullied by them for it as well as feeling neglected by his father for “showing weakness” which made him feel like he didn’t belong and wasn’t accepted in his home. He was then sent off to be Ned Stark’s ward (prisoner) and would be executed if Balon tried to rebel against the throne again. This knowledge is constantly hanging over his head and threatening him even though he makes the best of the situation, especially by finding a brother in Robb. The North and most of the Stark family don’t accept him despite his best efforts in trying to do his best while also missing the Iron Islands and not being able to fulfill his right as the heir to the salt throne

Ben has been mentally abused since he was in his mother’s womb. Palpatine has been in his head since he was conceived, trying to seduce him to the dark because he knew the power Ben would possess from his family. Now were his parents abusive towards him like Balon, Maron, and Rodrik were to Theon? No. But they were afraid of who he could become which definitely drove him towards becoming what they were afraid of to begin with. He felt isolated and alone. Aside from questioning why his parents were afraid of him with no explanation (making him feel like he was some sort of monster), Han was gone the majority of his upbringing and Leia was building the New Republic. He was often left with droids to watch him, further developing his isolation. There’s also apparently an instance where a droid fantasized about killing him and how they’d be able to cover it up? Eventually, L&H sent him off to be trained by Luke due to their growing fear of him becoming like Vader, but he didn’t know because they never told him Vader was his grandfather. He ended up finding out later on when it was announced at a senate meeting that was broadcasted on the holonet. (Keep in mind he’s consistently being mentally tormented and tempted by the dark but fighting it off)

Loss of Identity:

I think you can argue that Theon and Ben have struggled with their identity their entire lives. Before Theon was taken to Winterfell he already felt like he didn’t belong. Then he does his duty as Ned’s ward, placing him in the midst of the rest of the Starks and trying to figure out his place without stepping out of line but also wanting to fit in as best as he can. After Ned dies and he’s at war with Robb he is able to return home to persuade Balon in lending his fleet to help Robb. Balon refuses and now Theon is stuck in deciding if he should help Robb or win over his father and take back his place as a Greyjoy. He leads an attack at Winterfell, betraying his loyalty to Robb, killing two farm boys that all of Westeros believes is Brand and Rickon, which leads to him getting overthrown by the Boltons taking Winterfell back, putting him in the hands of Ramsay who tortures him mentally, physically, and spiritually to the point where he takes on the persona of Reek and truly believes that’s who he is, who he was meant to be and who he deserves to be

Ben has also had this lifelong struggle. He’s tried to follow what his parents have taught him while fighting everything going on in his head. He looked up to his dad and wanted to be a pilot like him despite Han being gone a majority of the time. Not to mention just the pressure he faced with being Han & Leia’s son as well as Luke Skywalker’s nephew. But he could sense and sometimes hear his parents discuss their fear of who he is/who he will be. He was under the impression that they thought he was or could become some sort of monster and gave him no explanation on why they would think that and then was sent off to train with Luke (when there’s no real indication that he wanted that, he just voiced how he wanted to be a pilot) Luke could sense the same darkness in him as H&L but instead of helping him and having a conversation about it he decided to sneak into Ben’s tent one night and kill him before his fears came true. Ben awoke to his own uncle standing over him with an ignited lightsaber about to strike him down. Yes, Luke regretted it the minute he ignited it but it was too late, Ben was awake and betrayed. What he didn’t do (but the galaxy thought he did) was destroy the Jedi temple and the rest of the padawans, a higher power (most likely Palpatine) did and Ben was upset about it and he didn’t want them all to die. He felt like he had nowhere else to go and succumbed to the voice that had been tormenting him for 23 years (but in a way was the only consistent thing in his life) and went to Snoke. He felt unwanted, untrusted, and doomed to become this awful being everyone around him thought he would. He took on the persona Kylo Ren and allowed Snoke to continue to torture him mentally and now physically and spiritually to ultimately turn him into Snoke's chess piece to take over the galaxy

Path of bad decisions driven by the need to please their abuser who gives false hope of a home:

Parts of this are redundant but they both have made some terrible decisions that were heavily influenced by the manipulation of their abusers and a need for a sense of acceptance and belonging. Theon wanted to please Balon and later Ramsay, Kylo wanted to please Snoke and his grandfather (who we later find out was all Palpatine). The majority of deaths that Kylo is blamed for were under Snoke’s orders and Kylo was either unaware they were happening or tried to prevent them and resort to other solutions to get whatever it is they wanted. He killed his father because he was convinced it would make him stronger and reach his potential on “who he’s destined to be” when really it tore him apart and destroyed him,

similarly to how Theon felt after he killed those farm boys and saw what his actions had created for Winterfell and Westeros

Acceptance of “who they truly are” through self-hatred and regret:

Through this they come to terms with their actions and the destruction that has followed from those actions. They believe they deserve the pain and suffering they’ve had their whole lives. Theon is constantly saying how Theon is dead, he’s Reek and he deserves to be. Ben states how Ben is dead, he’s only Kylo now and that he deserves to be seen as a monster.

Needing help to be pulled back to their true selves:

Their inner conflict is clear through both of their journeys and it’s clear that others can see that. They need help to be pulled in the right direction and reminded that they’re not the person they think they are. Yara comes for Theon when everyone else has given up on him. He’s her brother and regardless of what he’s done she still cares for him and believes in him. However, even the love of his sister can’t persuade him or break the abusive turmoil he’s been suffering and he stays with Ramsay as Reek.

Then Sansa comes, someone he has grown up with and cares for. She learns the truth that he didn’t kill Bran and Rickon. She knows who Theon really is and she brings him back, she needs him back and gives him the strength to do it.

Similarly, we see Han trying to bring Ben back in TFA, and like with Yara and Theon, it doesn’t work. He believes Ben is dead, that his family gave up on him and he did too so he can only be Kylo now. And as we see later on, the act of killing Han only made it worse and caused a deeper pain and regret to Ben as well as the conflict on where he lies in the force. In TLJ we see this and how Kylo seems to be chipping away from coming to terms with everything he’s done.

(I would also like to point out that in TLJ Ben couldn’t kill his mother and it’s stated that had he noticed quick enough he would’ve stopped the blasters from hitting the bridge) He gets a connection with Rey, who at first wants nothing to do with him and sees him as the monster he thinks he is. But similarly to Sansa, she finds out the story Luke told her about him destroying the Jedi Temple was a lie and from then on they’re able to console in one another and understand the pain and isolation they’ve both felt their whole lives.

When Luke refuses to go back and help Rey and the resistance she takes it upon herself to go and fight to bring Ben back to the light because she can see that he’s still there.

Taking a stand against their abusers, specifically to help save someone they love:

They both go against their abusers and take a huge leap towards taking back their true selves. Theon wants to help Sansa and she gives him a few chances too, for example with the candle but he ends up telling Ramsay. However when Ramsay is gone Sansa is crossed by Miranda and even though he’s still filled with fear and conflict, he throws Miranda off the ledge to save Sansa and finally defies his tormentor and everything that he’s done.

Kylo retrieves Rey when she lands on the capital ship and takes her to see Snoke. In the elevator they both state how they’ve had a vision of seeing them by each other’s sides. Kylo takes it as Rey joining him in the dark but Rey sees it as him reclaiming who he was supposed to be and even refers to him as Ben which he responds to.

(for the majority of knowing him she called him Kylo, monster, etc but since they touched hands and she saw the conflict she now sees him as a real person and more importantly Ben) Snoke wants Kylo to kill her in order to reach is full potential since killing Han only made him question the path he was going down even more. However, he tricks Snoke and instead kills him instead of Rey, destroying his abuser and saving Rey who is the only one he’s ever been able to connect to.

Reclaiming their identity:

Even though they have someone in their corner, believing in them and helping them to come back to who they are, it takes time. Theon stays with Sansa until they cross paths with Brienne and Podrick and knows she’ll be safe with them. He then heads back to the Iron Islands to join Yara and help her however he can. He still feels as though he’s Reek and doesn’t deserve any redemption or to be trusted/loved.

Overtime those who still believe in him and given time to heal he reclaims himself as Theon Greyjoy, not even the one from before, but a better and stronger man because it’s who he chooses and wants to be. He saves Yara from Euron and goes back to Winterfell to help fight against the dead. He protects Bran at the Weirwood tree bringing it back and trying to rewrite his wrong when he took Winterfell from Bran and caused him to abandon his home. Even though Arya is the one to ultimately save Bran by killing the Night King, she wouldn’t have been able to without Theon and his sacrifice.

Now Kylo’s is a little different and his journey back to Ben takes a few more steps. Killing Snoke was supposed to be him reclaiming himself and finally getting rid of the demons that have been haunting him his entire life. But now we’re aware that Palpatine created Snoke and was the one who has been in his head the whole time so really those voices are still there, abusing and tormenting him to do what they want. Except now he has something more to fight for. He knows Rey believes in him and they have a bond, a force dyad, that hasn’t been seen for centuries. We don’t get to see much of how Supreme Leader Kylo Ren deals with First Order affairs but I would assume it would be different from how Snoke handled it considering (as stated earlier) Kylo tried to get what they needed in the easiest way, preventing as much unnecessary harm or death. (I also would like to point out that at the beginning of TROS we see Kylo in Mustafar and all of the people he’s killing are Vader cultists so they were bad beings) He then travels to Palpatine who reveals it’s been him all along in his head and Kylo threatens to kill him, but then palp shows his army he’s been creating, how it could be Kylo’s, and reveals who Rey truly is. Palp wants him to kill her and he tricks him into thinking he will when really he chases her around to tell her this information as well as see if it’s true and to prevent her from getting killed. They fight a lot but it’s always Rey initiating it and Ben defending himself when he needs to. He gets distracted during one of their fights because Leia is reaching out to him and in the process, Rey stabs him with his own lightsaber (death of Kylo Ren) but ends up healing him and tells him that she did want him, the real him

He then has a vision of Han and basically reenacts what happened in TFA but has it play out how he wished it did the first time. He is now truly Ben Solo and goes to Exogal to help Rey and defeat Palpatine. After Rey kills Palpatine she dies and Ben comes back (he was thrown down deep pit) and transfers his life force to her to save her. Like the situation with Theon, if Ben wasn’t there Rey wouldn’t have been able to defeat Palpatine and save the galaxy.

Only got to live in peace with themselves for like 2 minutes:

They both get complex, intriguing, and beautiful arcs of redemption that represent realistic struggles of life and grey morality that people face throughout their lives. But they both end with a terrible message that the only way to fully redeem yourself from past mistakes, bad decisions (even if it was influenced by a life of mental/physical abuse) is to sacrifice yourself.

Theon sacrificed himself to save Bran and the fate of Westeros and was only able to be at peace with himself for about the last 20 seconds of his life because Bran forgave him, told him he was a good man and confirmed the type of person Theon really is and always wanted to be.

he deserved to feel this way for a MUCH longer time and continue to heal and grow and live a life that gave him much more peace and happiness (preferably with Sansa 😏) but instead he only gets to feel good about himself for the first time in his life and have it only last for a moment.

Once Rey defeated Palpatine it’s safe to say that the voices stopped in Ben’s head. There’s no more tormenting, persuading, or taunting. He climbs out of the pit to find Rey dead (his literal other half) and channels the rest of his energy to bring her back and it works. Similar to Bran, Rey confirms her joy and acceptance of Ben being back

and he would’ve been fully content with that, but Rey kisses him and he smiles for the first fucking time we’ve ever seen. His mind is at peace, Rey is alive in his arms and for the first time he is truly happy. And then he DIES.

Who knows what would’ve happened to him and how the resistance would’ve reacted, but he deserved the opportunity to atone for the mistakes he made, live life with a clear mind, as well as continue to be the other half of Rey that brought balance to the force and galaxy.

Bonus:

They both deserve to be with the only person that fully understands them and their pain and can grow, heal, and live in peace together.

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