#i just have this horrible nagging feeling that I'm letting them get away with too much

[eustasskiddsprosthetic]

Hey, remember when I said I shipped Lawlulaw? Yeah, I finally have an idea for them!

As I was fleshing this out, I suddenly felt the need to shove in Acelaw and Sabolaw in there so uh that's fun. I wanted this to be Lulaw centered but the moments of Ace and Sabo can be very easily spun into a romantic direction if I wanted and I wanted to be open to having a Law harem!

Welp, anyways, onto the plot I cooked. Edit: I elaborated more on this au here (x)!

I'm thinking of Law as a scientist who studies marine life. He has a huge lab where he collects specimens and spends a lot of time sketching out the intricate details and labelling them. He loves drawing these because it helps him get a clear, objective view of the world. His ultimate goal is to know just what makes the world tick.

He wants to know the inner workings of everything, kind of to compensate for how he barely knows himself and the depths of his subconscious nature. He believes everything has a place. A creature's ever part, every organ, every component is like a gear that keeps the whole system running and Law loves analysing them.

It may or may not be surprising but he actually believes in things like monsters, aliens and cryptids. From his experience, there's so many interesting sea creatures within the realm of science. It seemed a bit rude to dismiss the possibility. You never fucking know.

So that means when he sees a merman washed up one day in front of the beach near his home. He shrugs and says, "Well, he looks better than a drunk Bepo."

From indifference turned curiosity, Law squats down and starts poking this merman with a bit too much force and said merman jolts awake. Law notices how sharp his teeth and claws were. Law knew he would die if he did not approach him correctly.

"H-hello. I'm Law. Are you okay?"

The merman was visibly confused. Law realised he seemed a bit dehydrated and realised his gills on his neck looked uncomfortable. Law understood. He pointed to the ocean behind the merman.

"I'll take you back," Law said. He did not know how to approach the situation beyond rolling up his sleeves just in case the merman had an allergic reaction to his shirt and very gently trying to carry the creature princess-style.

Law was horrified to feel that this creature was heavy and struggled with carrying him. So much for wanting to be brave. The merman did not do anything to make things difficult—Law just was not the strongest out there. He just stared at Law with literal stars in his eyes. He made a cheerful little sound that was admittedly quite cute.

Law let the merman go when he was just around waist-deep in the ocean. He gently poured some water over his gills, which elicited even more happy sounds. When Law let go, the merman suddenly looked sad and Law felt like a horrible human being.

"Good bye. Take care"

The merman was swimming rather freely in the ocean now and he circled around Law. Law felt anxious. Did he walk into a trap? Was the merman going to attack? The merman did not seem hostile but you never know what these creatures were thinking especially when they were alive.

When the merman stopped swimming, Law took a good look at his features. He was quite cute in the face with large round eyes and an equally large mouth that occasionally broke into a large smile. If he were human, Law would've fallen in love.

"Good bye, it was nice meeting you-"

The next thing Law knew, he was immediately submerged underwater. He could barely breathe and felt himself choke. Meanwhile the merman was giggling like this was all very amusing. Law was knew he would die, if not for something rapidly swimming up and forcibly dragging the merman away.

Of course it was another muscular merman. He looked older than Law's murderer and had dark red accents on his hands and neck. There were spots on his face that looked like freckles. Now this one looked predatory. In human terms, he looked like he was nagging the other merman. Irritated, Law stood up as best he could and punched them both on the head.

Law's murderer seemed annoyed and sad at the violence, while the other one looked mildly impressed. He whistled through his gills. At least Law knew what that meant—it was a fucking mating call.

"Shut the fuck up! You're both annoying me! Go away!"

The black-haired mermen tilted their head to the side at the same time. In the distance, a pale, almost albino merman swam closer. Unlike the other two, he seemed friendlier even with a heavily disfigured face. He laughed as he happily said, "I'm sorry for my brothers, bastard!"

Law was flabbergasted. This was not his day.

"You can talk?"

The blonde merman seemed more surprised than Law. Law would punch him too but he was much faster than the other two in grabbing them by the shoulders and swimming some distance away so they would have to shout at each other. Law's murderer seemed sad that they were separated.

"You can talk, human?" The merman replied. He laughed. "Bitch!" He seemed to say those vulgarities with great childlike amusement. Though, Law would not be surprised to hear that he knew what those words meant and meant them sincerely. He seemed cunning.

Law felt wet, disgusting and thoroughly upset that he did not die. "Why, yes I fucking can! Piss off!"

As Law made his way back to the base, he suddenly heard the blonde merman tell the pervert and his murderer something. They went silent when Law looked back. Three seconds later, they started making loud, hysterical noises.

For God's sake, Law walked away with a ruined morning, wet clothes and the horrible memory of nearly dying. That was annoying, as he walked up the ocean where he was comfortably knee-length. He felt something gently grab his foot.

"What do you want, murderer?"

The merman pouted slightly and fuck isn't that just the cutest thing? He tried to pull Law back but gently this time. Law realised this was kind of like a child trying to make friends. He sighed and squatted down again to meet this creature at eye-level.

"I won't go with you but I'll come back tomorrow morning. Don't pull that shit again, or I'll kill all three of you. Understood?"

That seemed to be what the merman wanted for he smiled brightly and made those happy clicking noises again. He hugged Law's shoulders, licked his cheek quickly, jumped off and swam off with his brothers who seemed more interested in this little guy more than anyone else.

The sight was sweet. Maybe tomorrow morning would be better...

(Also, Law read up on Merfolk. Apparently, they were acknowledged to be legitimate sea creatures only three years ago and there were proper laws to forbid the act of hunting and killing them. Law found it strange that policies viewed them more like an endangered species than human beings.)

(More importantly, Law found out that there were some highly intelligent merfolk could learn human languages. And even more importantly, merfolk use their saliva to mark their territory... Including their mates, whom they usually commit to for life... Huh.)

[langernameohnebedeutung]

(Referring to this post: https://langernameohnebedeutung.tumblr.com/post/725361975543185408/you-heard-of-hating-female-characters-for-traits)

Do you think it's always a case of people being sexist, or do you think there are cases where the problem is the execution?

(sorry, I had my tabs mixed up).

I mean, for one, "always" is a word that I like to avoid because it's a word that is too big of a commitment to me.

I think execution as well as interpretation both play a role most of the time. And most of the time, they overlap and together they can develop their own very specific dynamics.

The thing is, when I entered fandom at now...almost 15 years ago, things were far worse. Far, far worse. Female characters were routinely portrayed as soulless evil and often violent harpies for no reason (the way they're e.g. often still treated in other, more dudebro-y spaces where female characters can basically be sorted into the categories "hot", "helpful" and "hated" (cough, Borderlands reddit and youtube, cough) - or their entire personality was erased to make her the perfect love-interest.

On the other hand, I feel like in the fandom spaces that have kind of reflected on these issues since then - both the misogyny in the original execution as well as the misogyny in fandom spaces - there is a certain anxiety that makes people ping-pong between these two problems and ultimately, shy away from the issue and the characters entirely.

One example is: How do we deal with female characters who are written to be problematic in extremely misogynistic ways (e.g. the nagging wife). Do we pile on by writing long texts about how she is annoying and nagging and doesn't support her poor husband, therefore meriting the poor writing while at the same time being true to her character and taking her at face value? Probably chiming in with the actual misogynists who will openly hate her AS a woman? Or do we ignore her entire personality and re-design her character into some fandom staple trope that feels more salvageable (but is often also ultimately a cliché like the long-suffering but good-natured doormat wife and isn't the act of making a woman more sweet and manageable sexist in its own right?)? Do we simply pretend her relationship with her husband is just a little bit quirky and fun that way? Or should we let her fade into the background? Do we ascribe a higher motive to her actions? Do we write "hey, yeah, Jane and I got divorced a few months ago" into our fic about the male lead to clear the road to whoever we ship him with? Or do we let him cheat because his wife is so horrible?

How do we deal with the female characters from old-timey works who are given basically no agency? Do we call her out for being useless and annoying and not contributing anything? Or do we construct some deeper agency to her actions? Do we turn her into another "reasonable, good-natured mom-friend"?

Another common complaint against female characters I see is that they're "annoying". On the one hand, I think this comes from the habit of writers of canon, who have decided that the peak of female character agency is to turn them into a token hindrance and rival for the male character who ultimately is wrong but still gets a lot of screen-time arguing and disagreeing and working against a male-character that the audience might like. Which often means they dislike her. The obvious solution is to ship them because they clearly have some hate-love kinda thing going on (I'm saying this in good humour, I love those ships). But sometimes that goes to another extreme where that same character who really, really, really hates a male character for very understandable reasons, has her personality erased and her values and priorities and boundaries ignored to ship her with him - and then fans will suddenly call her abusive and mean if her behaviour in canon doesn't reflect that fanon rationalisation. (though to be fair, I think this is also something that happens with m/m ships) Which is where we end up in the original scenario again, only worse.

I also think the low regard for women's experiences and feelings and the prevalence of misogynistic writing play a role. In execution, the female character's pain and experiences aren't given the same stage (especially if they would inconvenience the male characters around her). In fanon, because I think there is a certain discomfort with putting female characters through certain experiences because it is a misogynistic trope or because it has very specific connotations - and meanwhile, the idea that writing a male character dealing with these same experiences on the one hand (best interpretation) removes the lens of misogyny that causes this discomfort and let's us examine the issue from a less mapped out perspective and b) (less favourable interpretation) on the other hand, it might feel like this experience receives an upvaluation when a man is shown to be dealing with it.

For example, ages ago I saw this clip of an interview with...I think a director? and he talked about how he has to frame scenes, where the male lead cries very differently from the way he has to frame a scene where a female character cries because the audience reacts very differently because female characters are portrayed as crying so much more often, while a crying scene for the male lead is a show-stopper. It has a lot of gravity. This is something we also probably reflect at least subconsciously when we let a character cry. And I think this applies to a lot of things - both in our writing and in our interpretation of works that, e.g. are very male gaze-y. Showing male characters feeling love-lorn and sensitive and sexualised or domestic - that's an interesting exploration of masculinity, it is actively engaging with characters who probably weren't written like that in canon.

Showing your favourite action hero padding around his apartment making breakfast for his boyfriend in bed while thinking about how pretty he is (also, just to drive the point home, he might be pregnant now) is...just that tick more experimental than showing a female character in that same role. Especially if she, too, is a super-strong action heroine who can do anything. (and you are the one impregnating her and making her make breakfast? That doesn't feel nice!)

So yeah,...uh. I think both are an issue.

[bowtiepastabitch]

.

I'm genuinely having such a moment. I saw one of those posts, really well meaning just a "I was backpacking in europe exploring all these cool cities for ten hours a day last year and now I'm disabled and can't get out of bed" and I'm just.... really sad. I never got to go backpacking in europe or explore cities and ruins on foot or anything I just skipped straight to disabled and can't get out of bed. I worked part time and then I worked full time and then I started uni and got disabled (but I'm still working because what other choice do I have). I've never left the north american continent, and the sicker I get the more expensive it gets to potentially do so because doing it cheap means doing it inaccessible. I got exhausted from walking around a grocery store today. Half my friends on instagram are in fucking Europe right now, spain or france or italy or whatever the fuck having a great time. One of the kids at the place where I teach is going on a two week london/paris vacation later this month and she's in fucking middle school. Meanwhile, I'm getting paid 8/hr to teach math and algebra and precal for parents who can afford to send their kid to a fancy tutoring center and even though I only work a couple hours a day I spend the rest of it resting and laying down and barely having the energy to scroll my tumblr dash most days. I'm so fucking tired. I pay money for doctors to tell me things I already know but if I don't then I can't prove I deserve my accommodations and even if I do I still feel like I'm fucking faking it to be lazy. I know the "1 in 3 adults in the united states has this that or the other" is supposed to make me feel less alone but instead it just makes me feel like I'm exaggerating and should be able to at least keep up with a good chunk of people my age but I just fucking can't. I can't do this. Maybe if I was fucking middle class and didn't have to work to live or if I was able bodied and could work a normal job, or if I had rich parents and could do the things I wanted without having to struggle for them things would be different but I have fought so. fucking. hard. for everything I have. I'm alive because of the work I put in to pull myself back from the edge over. and over. learning to keep myself alive until I could learn to want to be alive. working my fucking ass off to get into a good uni with a good scholarship far away from home so I could move out of my abusive household and get a good education. I've worked so fucking hard for every single thing in my life and now my body won't even cooperate and let me enjoy it and I'm so fucking exhausted. My memory's not working very well and my body gives up on moving from the couch half the time and I've got vague all over pain that never quite goes away and I can't sleep and I can't wake up and I can't talk to people without being awkward and weird and I can't save up my money and fly to europe. And because I made myself so sick in high school I've got a horrible nagging fear that it's somehow my fault in some way which is honestly maybe a worse explanation than "I'm being a whiny baby about things that a lot of people have dealt with better" and it fucking sucks. Plus I'm living with my parents for the summer because every single thing I applied to for the summer rejected me, so my mental health is wonky and I've got all kinds of little trauma things popping up from time to time but also they're getting better about some things sometimes so I feel immensely guilty to complain about them. And also they're helping pay my medical, even if it is coming out of the rent I paid to them during my medically necessitated gap year. So I again feel guilty bitching about them too much. And my car doesn't work anymore so I have to borrow or ask for a ride anytime I want to go somewhere and I don't have any close friends that live near me anymore anyway. And it doesn't matter because I'm fucking disabled and I can't do cool fun adventure shit and I can't find the energy for big creative projects and I can't fly to europe.

[cryingatships]

I've watched till ep 4 of Love Tractor and omg What Is This?? I can't believe I waited this long to watch it. mg Love Tractor, baby, ily ily ily.

This is so silly yet gosh-

It's like 3 am and I'm cackling madly in my room. Pretty sure my cat is convinced I've finally gone bonkers. (she's giving me a look of concern and annoyance cause I woke her up lmao)

So, ep 1. If I hadn't seen some spoilers on tumblr and knew for a Fact that this is a ql show, I'd be Sure that the Guy Who Came Up At Night was a killer. (Also, when are we getting a murder mystery/thriller ql from Korea? With explicit queerness this time? I'm looking at you Mouse, Beyond Evil.) And the cinematography!! Is!! Beautiful!! Is it gonna be same for the rest of the show?

Guy goes to live alone in a remote countryside where his car breaks down on rainy night. A suspicious stranger comes to help him. Weird chains (mind automatically goes to VegasPete). A cute dog (first victim?).

Except this is a bl, unless?

Ep 2. Prickly city guy feels Deeply Uncomfortable upon learning that friendly people aren't fictional unicorns, they exist. Also dude, just drop the honorifics. Yechan is begging you. (Is Yechan's mum trying to set him up for a date????) The GOAT.

I have an urge to drop out of uni and run away to the countryside too. Except every single of my relatives were born and brought up in the city. Pain. Should I just go poking my frnds??

Ep 3. We Learn Empathy and Love. (Don't waste that drinkkk. Side note- is that drink korean rice wine??) Joohee my darling. Yul isn't wrong per se but he needs to learn to be Less Prickly. Why did he faint tho? How medically accurate is this? (not that I'm desperate for medica accuracy in my bls, hell, they can have wings n stuff and I'd be ok, but it'd be nice to know)

Also I want that jam. Looks so yummm. I wanna run to the country noww. (Except it's monsoon in here and everything is so. muddy.)

Why does everything in this show look so delish? I just had dinner and yet-

Ep 4. OMG.

Nagging parent vibes but instead of parent make it ppl-who-have-an-unacknowledged-crush. WHAT IS THAT YECHAN. I know he's a caretaker through and through—he takes care of Everyone in the community as well as visitors, but let me scream ok. (My cat just left the room Too annoyed lmao)

Just Stay Still.

My mind is a horrible, horrible place. I blame years of readings fics

in my defence, I think SeonYul is also thinking. Things.

Blow your nose

I'm dead.

Trying To Cut Your Hair (and making you look like a clown on purpose) vibes. Except Yechan does it in good faith. And SeonYul doesn't look like the clown. He looks very resigned tho. Suffering.

Do You want me to brush your teeth.

No, Yechan, i don't think he wants to. Also Yechan.... too kind.

The people at the beds next to them tho. I'd be thriving on the drama if it was me in that ward XD

Yechan needs to be protected at all costs. No one hurt him or you're gonna catch this hands. (Looking at you, SeonYul)

Ok, no, SeonYul is out of danger for now. Such a soft moment ueueueue

SeonYul's walls are high af. I'm blaming the father for now, but let's see.

Gonna end it here cause I *do* need to sleep. What a pity that I'm not a vampire :')

[hypmic-writings]

Hello! Your writing is always cheer me up with so many prompts! I'm one of the follower but i'm really sorry for going anon. In Hypmic ARB there's some event where Ichirou and Samatoki, Jakurai and Ramuda switched body (April fool's event if i remember correctly?) How would their S/O and them react to it and what will they do after they turn to their own body? it's okay to do only Ichirou and Samatoki if it's too long. Thank you so much!

━━ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ━━

Pairing: Ichiro Yamada x reader; Samatoki Aohitsugi x reader; Ramuda Amemura x reader; Jakurai Jinguji x reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

A/N: This one was hilarious to write haha I did it so that Ichiro and Samatoki switched bodies and Jakurai and Ramuda switched bodies. Hope you enjoy~

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Ichiro Yamada

when Ichiro first gets switched into Samatoki’s body, he’s incredibly confused

he has no idea what’s happened or why he suddenly feels the urge to fight a rival gang, but with one look in a mirror, he suddenly understands

he definitely freaks out a little, not knowing what to do and he knows he should probably text Samatoki, but his pride makes him stop

because he’s smart and he thinks he can figure this out on his own

Ichiro’s first thought is that you can help him figure out what’s going on, so he quickly makes his way over to your house, still trying to get the hang of walking in this strange new body

when you open the door, you’re rightfully confused at why Samatoki is showing up to your doorstep, but once Ichiro starts to explain that it’s really him, you’re even more confused

he eventually ends up telling you a secret that only the two of you know and that’s when you let him in, shocked that it’s really Ichiro inside of Samatoki’s body

Ichiro asks you to help him get his own body back and this is when you nag at him to be the bigger person and text Samatoki (who you both presume is in Ichiro’s body) for help

you can’t help but stare at him in fascination because it’s quite entertaining to watch Samatoki’s body with Ichiro’s personality

especially when Ichiro starts to laugh and get playful with you, something that you’ve never seen Samatoki do in your life

at some point, Ichiro almost forgets his predicament and when he leans in to kiss your cheek, you instinctively pull away 

and then he’s just giving you puppy dog eyes in Samatoki’s body and that’s even cuter but you really just miss your boyfriend

Samatoki and Ichiro end up on the phone together and have a verbal fight about how the other is at fault for the switched bodies

and the two agree to meet up the following day and deal with it because it’s already too late and they’re both exhausted

fortunately for them (and for you) Ichiro wakes up the next morning in his own body

the first thing he does is throw his hands around you and hug you tightly, kissing all over your face and saying how much he loves you

and that it was horrible being in Samatoki’s body and how much better his own body is

even though he secretly admired how much more muscle Samatoki had than he did and how strong he felt while he was in Samatoki’s body

but he doesn’t want to say that so he just tells you that he’s glad everything is back to normal

you tell him that you much prefer him in his own body and you take the time to admire him and reaffirm just how much you love Ichiro

Samatoki Aohitsugi

when Samatoki first finds out he’s in Ichiro’s body he freezes and just stares at himself in the mirror

he definitely does that thing where he moves his arms and head and watches his reflection do the same and then just sort of lets out a gasp

he’s immediately annoyed and pissed off because he’s a busy guy and now he’s gonna have to figure out how to get his own body back

when one of his Yakuza underlings walk into his office, he snaps at them to get back to the job he tasked them with 

and when the underling laughs and says that he doesn’t have to listen to some random kid he doesn’t know, Samatoki gives the man such an intense, hate-filled glare that he actually scares the man into believing that he’s actually Samatoki

Samatoki is quick to call it a day though because he just can’t bring himself to explain what’s happened to everyone and try to get them to believe him

he has a surge of teenage boy hormones running through him and he absolutely hate how elevated it makes all of his emotions feel

all he wants to do is go home to you, and he realizes he might not even be able to do that because he’ll have to convince you that he’s really Samatoki and not Ichiro

as soon as he walks through the door though, he’s greeted with you, standing in the kitchen, holding a knife towards him with wide eyes

when you realize it’s Ichiro, you confusedly lower the knife and ask why he’s in your apartment

Samatoki quick to hold up his hands in surrender as he explains that it’s actually him and not Ichiro 

you don’t believe him at first, but Samatoki is quick to groan, kick off his shoes, grab a beer and fall down into his seat at the table

and all his mannerisms are so perfectly Samatoki-like that you just can’t bring yourself to admit that it’s not him

so you ask him what happened but of course he doesn’t know, and then he gets into a yelling match with the real Ichiro over the phone about whose fault this is

but at the end of the day, it’s decided that they would meet up the next morning to figure things out

when Samatoki naturally leans in to kiss you goodnight, you duck away from him apologizing that you can’t kiss Ichiro

which of course only makes him sulk even more so you give him a hug and promise that you’ll give him all the kisses as soon as he gets his own body back

fortunately for the two of you, he’s switched back into his own body by the next morning 

and as soon as he realizes he’s back to his old self, he’s rolling over towards you and pulling you in for a kiss, reminding you of the promises you made last night

while you’re just happy to have your boyfriend back in one piece

Ramuda Amemura

when Ramuda gets switched in Jakurai’s body, he’s confused but finds the situation quite hilarious

he loves that he gets to experience being tall and a quick look in the mirror confirms that he’s in the body of his old friend

Ramuda pretty much ignores all of Jakurai’s calls and texts, knowing that they’ll all be asks to exchange bodies back again

and instead he spends the day enjoying being in a body that doesn’t require lollipops to survive 

at first it’s a little hard getting used to the body because his limbs are so long and he keeps knocking into stuff

he definitely goes up to Gentaro and Dice and plays a prank on them, pretending that he, in Jakurai’s body, has done something horrible to Ramuda which makes them both freak out

but when Ramuda breaks out into laughter and Dice and Gentaro see Jakurai’s body giggling and practically skipping around, they fully believe Ramuda when he tells them that it’s really him in Jakurai’s body

it’s only when he gets a text from you that he remembers the two of you made plans to meet up, so he simply shrugs and goes to meet you

you’re incredibly confused at first when Ramuda tells you that it’s him inside of Jakurai’s body

but you’ve never seen Jakurai act this way before and you know he would never play a prank like this, so you end up believing Ramuda

when he goes to hug you like always, he finds that you’re a bit stiff and it’s the first time since the body switch that he gets a little sad

because he knows you won’t want to do anything with him in this body and you tell him that you just don’t feel comfortable kissing him when he’s literally in the body of another friend of yours

this makes Ramuda groan, but he knows that you’re right

he definitely lets you touch Jakurai’s hair though and the two of you curse how nice and soft it feels, wishing you could keep it even if Ramuda were to be turned back 

something about Jakurai skipping around your shared apartment and striking poses makes you laugh like crazy and Ramuda demands that you take videos as evidence

and it’s entertaining to watch Ramuda in Jakurai’s body go from happy to pissed when you both play board games

he’ll still ask you for a hug though, feeling how strange it is to be so tall when hugging you 

the next morning, Ramuda is back in his own body and he’s quick to jump on you saying how much he prefers this body over Jakurai’s 

even though he’s quite sad that he didn’t get to spend more time being tall and having such nice long hair and not having to worry about his lollipops

but having you back in his arms, kissing him hard might just be worth everything else he has to go through as himself

Jakurai Jinguji

when Jakurai first gets switched into Ramuda’s body he’s not only confused but he’s incredibly annoyed

not only is he now incredibly short and can barely reach any of his things, he also feels incredibly emotional, like there are two different sides of him pulling at each other

it’s uncomfortable and frustrating, and Jakurai immediately wants his own body back

he immediately texts Ramuda, knowing that the latter must have gotten switched into his own body, but doesn’t hear back from him and just keeps trying to call and text him incessantly

when you come home to find Ramuda sitting on your couch with his head in his hands, it’s safe to say that you have no idea what’s going on 

but when Jakurai explains that it’s really him inside of Ramuda’s body, you take a moment to figure out if Ramuda is pranking you or if it’s really your boyfriend in another body

Jakurai groans and it becomes obvious that you’ve never seen Ramuda be downtrodden before - you’ve seen him full of rage and incredibly gleeful but never disheartened

so you decide to believe Jakurai, and when you tell him this, he gives you a grateful smile and asks if you’ll drive him to Ramuda’s shop because he doesn’t trust himself to drive in this tiny form

unfortunately for the two of you, Ramuda isn’t there, and when a customer says hello to Jakurai, mistaking him for Ramuda, Jakurai is forced to put on the happy high pitched voice and pretend to be silly

and that almost makes you burst out laughing because you know how painful it must be for Jakurai to pretend to be Ramuda 

Jakurai also mentions that he’s feeling ill and he knows it’s because he doesn’t have any of those lollipops Ramuda is constantly sucking on, so he forces himself to steal some from the office in the back of Ramuda’s shop to tide him over for the rest of the day

so when you both finally get back home, you try to make dinner together, but Jakurai keeps dropping things because he’s not used to his short arms and legs

and it’s clear that he’s just not having a good time so you end up ordering out from your favorite place

but Jakurai’s taste buds are Ramuda’s and it’s too bitter for his liking which makes him even more infuriated

when he gives you a look of absolute frustration and sadness, you decide that you don’t care if he looks like Ramuda, and you wrap him up in your arms, cuddling him close to you

Jakurai is surprised at how good it feels to be so small because you’re practically able to hold all of him like this

you decide to deal with it in the morning because Jakurai’s too exhausted to do anything else and the two of you cuddle more that night

fortunately, by the next morning, Jakurai’s body is back and he couldn’t be more exhilarated 

you both celebrate with morning kisses and Jakurai’s quick to go drink some of his favorite coffee, happy that he doesn’t feel the urge to put half of the sugar bowl into the drink

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[senseiofbullshit]

Do have any headcanons for 4taro x fem! reader?

I do! I kept it SFW. It's a bit long because I have no self control.

Not that your ask had anything to do with this, but I hope one day, we as a fandom can move away from the idea of Jotaro being overtly mean to his partner. From part 4 on, Jotaro seems to have reigned in a lot of the terrible behavior he showed as a teenager. His relationship with Koochie in part 4 seems to be a really good testament to that. There's no way anyone would marry and have a kid with him if he retained his poor manners/behavior. That being said, I don't think Jotaro would ever call you out of your name or be intentionally mean with you. If you're sensitive like me, I think he'd do a better job of choosing his words wisely with you.

I agree with the idea that Jotaro is horribly awkward so you may not recognize his initial offer to go out together for what it really is. A date. You may also feel like he's hard to crack, conversation seeming dry between you on your date. It may take a bit of effort on your part to find the sweet spot that will get him talking (probably something about marine life), but once you do, you will find that conversation really picks up between you.

Jotaro doesn't really like pleasantries (asking 'how are you' and 'how was your day'), but he'll do them for you if he knows that you like them. His body language may say to get lost, but he likes hearing you talk to him, even if he does sometimes tease you for being talkative.

His memory is very good and he will casually bring up something (or someone) you mentioned in passing five weeks ago when you were complaining about work.

When you're not talking, he enjoys when you're next to him doing your own thing. If he's working, he enjoys when you sit on the couch in his office reading your book or just on your phone. It may not be the most fun thing to do, but Jotaro is a busy man who enjoys being around you. It's a nice medium for him.

Jotaro isn't big on PDA. Hand holding is rare and he doesn't do interlocked fingers. Even though he isn't big on PDA, he still appreciates when you place a quick peck to his lips or cheek (which will probably make him blush and pull his hat down over his eyes) or when you hold onto his arm as you walk together.

Circling back to him being horribly awkward, I think he likes doing nice things for you, but his presentation is absolute trash. He's not big on huge love gestures. When he buys you flowers, he's just like "here", but it's the most expensive, gorgeous arrangement that the store offered.

I joke about Jotaro being a sugar daddy but the man is rich lol. I'm sure he'll buy you whatever you wanted. Things that you casually mentioned wanting are magically wrapped (not by him) and in your living room weeks later.

I mentioned this before, but he's an excellent cook. He's too astute not to be. You show him a recipe once and he doesn't write any of the steps down, but he's able to copy if perfectly.

He's incredibly patient for someone with such a temper and has no issue with repeating himself or showing you how to do something. If he's showing you how to do something, you might find him getting really into it and even putting his hands on yours to guide you. When he realizes what he's doing, he may blush a little bit.

It rare that you're ever up before him, but if you are, kiss his forehead or cheek before you leave your room. You'll catch a glimpse of a smile on his face before you head out.

He sleeps like a rock on his back, not moving all night, but he finds it comforting when you lay on his chest or tuck yourself into his arm when you climb into bed. Toss his arm over your waist and he'll let it rest there. He may even absentmindedly rub circles into your skin.

Dating him requires you having to read between the lines and having the willpower to put things together yourself. H enjoys having you around and living in quiet domesticity much more than he lets on. When you feel like he's nagging you by telling you to brush your teeth before bed for the third time tonight, it's because he wants to brush your teeth together. When you get up to brush your teeth, he'll follow behind you into the bathroom and stand by your side, brushing his own teeth. When he tells you "hey, you should eat something before you leave for the day" he's really saying that he wants to eat a meal with you".

Way more affectionate in the confines of your home than out in public. Smiles wayyyyy more too!

Likes to feel needed, even for little things. He purposely places things on the top shelf and up high so that you'll call him for help. If you call him out on it, he'll deny it. Why would he ever do that? You're sure you left the peanut butter on the bottom shelf, how did it wind up all the way up there? He'll give you a soft smile as he hands it to you.

[finniestoncrane]

t4t riddlebird lets go

you bet bb 💚💜 there's not a single part of my being that could believe that they were cis and weren't soulmates lmao it's t4t lovers to the end

good morning

just a lil morning scene between them so we can really see how much ed leans into hybristophilia because he does he really does also canon, never heard of them but they sound horrible? i'm a writer on gotham now, we're going by my hcs just shhh pretend, you're thinking about it so like don't think about

minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff, mentions of violence, murder, guns, kissing, dry humping, bit of pain kink, obviously hybristophilia too

Oswald was spoiled rotten and he was kept ever smug in the knowledge that he might have warned Ed not to give into his demands so early in their relationship. He knew he was difficult to disagree with or say no to, but rather than offer any reprieve, he let himself be served and serviced by his wonderful, concerningly patient, boyfriend.

He rolled over in the plush bed, opening his eyes and squinting while they adjusted, the long figure in front of the window taking shape as the light became less of a burden on his vision. There stood Edward, unclothed completely apart from his glasses and his clean, white briefs, his smooth chest close enough to smell as he bent down to put Oz's breakfast tea on the bedside table for him.

"Good morning, Oswald." His tone, a little brusque, caught Oz off guard in comparison to how angelic he had looked just a moment ago, bathed in the light of the day. "Although, it's closer to the afternoon now. Did you know, that if you wake up early, you'll increase your productivity and it positively affects your optimism for the day ahead?"

"Is that why you're so cheerful all the time?"

Ed turned to walk away, but Oswald reached out his hand, warm against Ed's clammy wrist, and pulled him back around, easing him into the bed beside him. He made no eye contact with him at first, choosing instead to gaze upon his almost entirely hairless chest, running his hands along the flat of his rib cage, breathing dreamily, content to just have someone so beautiful to look at. And, wincing at the realisation of how weak he was for him, Ed leaned into the tender, physical affection. With one hand at an angle, head resting on his hand, the other found it’s way to Oz’s side, rubbing it over the top of the soft sheets, feeling the heat that radiated from under them.

“Why anyone would ever want to get out of bed is beyond me. Especially if you were in it with them.”

Oz leant in to kiss Ed, hands gently picking his glasses from his face and setting them behind him on the table. He pressed his nose to Ed’s cheek as his hands made their way lower, warm hands trailing down his cold spine, making their way into his tight pants and cupping at his cheeks, grasping them firmly as their lips met again. In this familiar, entangled embrace, they shared their most tender moments. It was less of a torrid affair in the morning. Something about the sunlight made them both so gentle, loving. But the caress was proving too much for Ed, who had begun to grind himself into Oz, moans pushing past both of their tongues, breaking the kiss up.

“What are you going to do today, Oz?”

“I mean, is now the time to nag me to get out of bed? Or-”

“No, you know what I mean.” He sighed heavily, separating their lips and pressing a kiss to Oz’s cheek, a line of precision-tainted kisses following down his neck and his collarbone, further still to where Ed lay his head onto Oz’s chest, soft and unbound. As he spoke, he let his lips pass over Oz’s nipples, hardening from the tease.

“You know what I mean. What are you going to do. Today. Oz.”

“I’m going to be bad, Ed.”

“Mmmmm.” A satisfied moan, vibrating through Oz’s ribcage, electric energy sending goosebumps over his arms.

“In fact, I think I’ll be evil.”

Less noise from his loving boyfriend, who was now firmly pressed to his chest, kissing and sucking and biting at the flesh. Oz strained to talk past his own pleasure, but continued for Ed.

“I have some meetings to attend, some people to threaten. It’s even possible I might break a few fingers if the mood takes me.”

“W-what else?”

“Not enough? Hm…” He ran his fingers through Ed’s soft hair, gently tugging at it as his hands reached the ends, palms clinging softly to create just a little pain, a sensation enough to have Ed tensing, body half on top of him, cradling him in an embrace as he ground his body against his side.

“I suppose I might also see to that young man at the restaurant down town, the one who forgot his upkeep last week. Oh, the things I could do to him. Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Mm…yes I would, Oz…please.”

“I’m going to shoot him, Ed. I’m going to shoot him and toss him in that filthy river. The solution to all life’s problems.”

“Oh, Oz…” he stifled a moan as he bit down harder on Oz’s nipple, thrusting himself against his hip and thigh, desperately mewling at the friction between himself and the ethereal, villainous creature that lay beside him. “That’s so horrible. Tell me more, please.”

Oz teased at Ed’s hair once more before dragging his finger nails, sharp and yet ticklish, down his neck, clutching at the shoulder muscles that twitched at the touch, pressing sharper at Ed’s whimpers.

“I’m just going to be so mean today, Ed.” He spoke in a softer, almost taunting tone, speaking to his greatly intelligent lover as though he were a pathetic, stupid child. “I’m going to be the biggest, baddest man who ever walked the streets of Gotham.” He was very aware of Ed’s impending climax, somehow able to bring himself to orgasm with Oz’s words alone as he pressed himself hard against him, rubbing and thrusting and using his body. Oz pressed his hands against Ed’s rear again, finger slipping between them to gently press and rub at his entrance, breath hitching at the warmth, at the drool that instantly fell from Ed’s mouth, open in ecstasy. “And anyone who gets in my way, will meet their fate at my hands.”

“Mmph…Oz…Oswald…you’re so…I love it when you…I’m uh…oh dear…”

“I’m not afraid to get dirty, remember.”

At the pressure of Oz’s finger crooking inside of him, the threats of violence and the friction burning against his wonderful, disturbing partner, Ed felt himself losing control, spilling out, cumming in his pants. He whimpered, embarrassment throwing a shade of red onto his usually pallid cheeks, uttering soft apologies to Oz as he buried his face further into his chest. Kissing between his sorrys.

“It’s alright, Ed. But if you don’t let me go back to bed now, you’ll be on my list.”

[nessaxc]

___________________________________

Apologies || Miya Atsumu

Atsumu and you had a fight and he tires to apologize.

~ Rating: Explicit

~ Words: 2.1k

~ Tags: Fluff, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Praise Kink, Apologies Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering

___________________________________

You were sitting in the middle of the bed, knees pulled up to your chest, your arms resting on them. Every once in a while you wiped off a teardrop from your face. Your crying has stopped now, but there were tears that steal escaped your eyes.

He never talked to you like that. He never called you things like that.

This was the worst fight you had yet. You were together for four years now, and he shouted things you never knew he had in his head since you're together.

You said pretty awful things too, things you never thought you would, since you didn't really mean them.

But did he mean them?

Did he really think of you that way?

Or was he just hurt and wanted to hurt you back?

Well, he did hurt you. Your heart still makes that awful squeeze when you think back at what happened about half an hour ago.

Was he still in the house or did he leave?

You didn't know, but it was awfully quiet in the whole house.

It was so quiet that even the careful, soft knock on the closed door still made you jump.

"Babe?" - came his quiet voice.

Another tear fall down from your eyes and you wiped it off with your sleeve. The answer was the sound of you blowing your nose.

"Baby, I'm so sorry, please forgive me?" - even if his voice was weak you could tell he meant these words, but the wound on your soul was still felt too fresh to accept his apology this easily.

"Can you open the door, sweetheart? I know you locked it, because you don't wanna see me, but I'm so deeply sorry. I... I didn't think, I just said things to make you mad, because I felt mad, I didn't mean anything I've said, I promise."

You sure hoped so, because that would be awful and you would never want to see him again if he did.

"I'm sorry for shouting too. I was already frustrated with work, and then you started nagging me, and I don't even remember what we started fighting about in the first place, it just escalated so quickly..."

Well, if you think about it, you were throwing everything at each other from who's turn was it to do the laundry to barely going out together in the past few weeks. You didn't remember what started the fight either.

You remember saying that you started to get enough of living with him, and he replied with 'well, it wasn't my idea for you to move in with me, was it?' and fuck that hurt.

"I think I didn't take out the trash again, or something, right?"

You smiled a little as you wiped away another tear.

"I uh... I did just now."

You bit the inside of your cheek.

"And you want a pat on the head or something?" - you called back.

Atsumu let out a sigh of relief on the other side of the door, hearing that at least you were willing to talk to him. And fuck, his heart did a happy jump hearing your voice.

"Baby, open the door, please, I wanna see you. It wasn't even 30 minutes ago that you called me a selfish dickhead, but I already miss you."

You shook your head as you hopped off from the bed, and wiped your face again before you unlocked the door and opened it.

Atsumu’s eyes widened in hope, but he immediately felt regret wash over him when he saw your puffy, red eyes.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't mean any of it, please don't cry because of a stupid fucking idiot like me, okay?" - Atsumu pleaded as he slowly reached his hands out for you, and without hesitation, you stepped into his waiting arms and jumped up, wrapping your arms and legs around his tall form.

He immediately started peppering your hair, ear, shoulder with kisses and walked to the bed and sit down on it with you in his lap.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you know I love that you moved in with me, you take care of me and I love you for it, princess, you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

You pulled away with a smile on your face to look at him, but you became worried when you saw the unshed tears in his eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?" - you asked as you cupped his face gently.

He closed his eyes as he looked down shaking his head.

"I don't want to lose you." - he said in a rough whisper and you quickly wiped away his tears that ran down his cheeks after his confession.

"You won't Atsumu, I promise. I love you. And I said some pretty awful things I shouldn't have and I want you to know that I didn't mean them either."

Atsumu nodded and looked at your lips.

"You can kiss me." - you reassured him.

Atsumu nodded again and eagerly captured your lips with his. You kissed each other fast and passionate, both of you apologizing for the fight, but after a few minutes of deseperate attempts to make the other forgive for the things that had been said, you both calmed down, knowing everything is going to be alright, and neither of you will leave the other.

When you pulled away for a deep breath of air, Atsumu started kissing your jaw, slowly biting and sucking his way down to your neck, while your fingers sneaked their way into his hair, pulling with just the right amount of force which you know he loved.

"Excpet for the selfish dickhead part, I meant that from the bottom of my heart." - you whispered as you leant your head back to give him better access.

"I know, baby, I know. But you still love me, and I love you for that." - he murmued against your skin and put his palms on your ass to pull you closer to his hardening cock.

You moaned when you felt him between your legs and you started rubbing yourself against his bulge. You loved it when he wore sweatpants at home.

"Will you show me how much you love me?"

"Always." - he replied, and pulled off your hoodie and shirt in one move.

He loved it when you didn't wear a bra at home.

You leaned back a little to arch your back for him as he pushed your breasts together and licked both of your nipples. He kissed and bit each of your tits, wrapping his arms around your waist, wanting to feel every inch of your body against his.

"Take off your shirt."

"Yes ma'am."

You helped him with the task and when his upper body was naked you pushed him on his back. You held his hands above his head on the bed and slowly caressed your way down his wrists, arms, shoulders and chest. When you reached his stomach you gently dug your nails into his flesh, making him moan and thrust his hips up into yours.

You threw your head back with a deep moan, and Atsumu sat up quickly to kiss you and turn you on the bed, laying you on your back. He kissed you slow and deep, whispering apologies against your lips, and you accepted each with small nods, and needy moans.

His hands were working on removing both of your pants and underwear, and when he was done with those tasks, he cupped your heat with his right hand, slowly moving his fore- and middle finger between your soaking hole and swollen clit, watching your face as you whined sweetly for him.

He gently kissed down his way through your chest and stomach, while he slipped his fingers inside you. You moaned his name loud, which he always loved to hear.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've said, baby. Can I eat you out? Can I eat your sweet pussy, princess? Let me apologize to you properly, please."

You held yourself up with your elbows and nodded. Atsumu kissed the inside of both of your thighs while he was fingering you slowly, and he didn't break eye contact when he opened his mouth to lick your clit gently.

You moaned and bit your bottom lip, reaching out to grab his hair and carress him while he was lapping at your pussy.

"You're doing great baby, you're making me feel so good, I love you." - you encouraged him with sweet meows.

Atsumu nooded without stopping pleasing you, and he kept his eyes on you while you watched him eating you out.

You started to get louder, he was pumping his fingers in and out of you in a slow tempo but as your pussy started to get wetter and wetter, he curled them upwards in search of your g-spot. A sharp intake of breath from you told him that he found the right place, and as your thighs started to shake he massaged that spot faster and rougher. He switched from teasing your clit with gentle licks to sucking it with fervor. After every sharp breath you took in, you cried them out in pure bliss as you felt your insides squeeze together, and after a while the pressure started to get unbearable. Just a few seconds later your whole body tensed and you rubbed your pussy harder against Atsumu’s mouth to increase your pleasure to the max with loud cries and exhausting breaths.

Atsumu helped rode out your orgasm, and only let go of you when you pulled your pussy away from his mouth. He kissed your still shaking thighs, then climbed on top of you to kiss your mouth with passion.

"You're beautiful, baby, I can't get enough of you." - he praised you while he lined up his rock hard cock at your opening and started to make it wet with your juices. - "Need you now, princess, can I fuck you? I know you're still sensitive, but I can't wait any longer, I have to have you." - he pleaded, but his voice turned rough when he was horny, and it sounded more like a demand.

You weren't complaining.

You nodded against his lips and pulled your knees apart to gave him more room, and with a gentle thrust of his hips, he slipped inside your wetness easily. You both moaned at the feeling and you cupped his jaw with one hand to turn his head sideways so you could suck on his neck.

Atsumu shuddered when you kissed, bit and licked his skin there, making his hips slam into yours just a little bit harder than gentle.

"I will never talk to you like that again, okay baby?" - he looked down at you and pushed his forehead against yours. - "I will never shout again, I won't say those horrible things ever again, I promise I didn't mean any of it, okay, Y/N?"

You could only moan and nod as he was penetraing you in the most intimate way. He hooked his arm under one of your knees, pushing it against your chest, while your other leg was wrapped around his waist, your heel sinking into the spot just below his ass, urging him on to fuck his apologies into you, while he was staring in your eyes the whole time, so you could be sure that he means every word this time.

"I don't know what I would do without you, promise you never leave me?" - he leaned closer to your ear to whisper in it, but you could still look into his eyes as you answer.

"I'll never leave you, you're so good to me, Atsumu, no one loved me like you do." - you panted as you cupped his face, but you had to grab onto his upper arm, when his pace picked up at your words.

"Say you love me." - he whispered as he kissed your shoulder.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you, Atsumu, oh my god, right there!"

"I love you, Y/N, cum for me, show me how much you love me!"

"A-Atsumu!" - you cried out as wave after wave of pleasure washed over your body. You bit down on Atsumu’s neck and sucked at his pulse, while you dragged your nails down his back, causing just a little bit of pain, because you knew it made him cum harder.

His pace picked up even more and the force of his thrusts made him sway the bed under you back and forth, slamming the headboard against the wall with loud banging, until you heard him moan loudly with each shot of cum that exploded out of his dick, turning your walls white.

He collapsed next to you on the bed with a grunt, and you curled into his side as his arms protectively held you close to his body.

"I love you, baby, and this was amazing, but please let's not fight ever again." - he panted, still trying to catch his breath.

"Deal, handsome."

___________________________________

[akumaalert]

not a request just sharing bc i couldn't stop thinking of just "what if lucky called heis good boy" like how he calls her good girl sometimes but like.. i'm pretty sure he would break

This was supposed to be a mini-fic....but...uh....it'll likely be the first chapter of "Divergence" instead LMAO But hope you enjoy!

Good Boy

Karl Heisenberg x Reader, Explicit

CW: Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism, Voyeurism, Happy Ending, Virgin!Karl Heisenberg

An AU happening during chapter 19 of "Heavy Metal Lover" but can be read without reading the main story.

"Unfh..."

That had been the first noise from Lucky besides the scratch of a pencil against paper that he had heard in about an hour.

Stuck in his office with her as he searched for a misplaced - not lost, just misplaced! - core schematic, Heisenberg tried to ignore the nagging thought of how domestic the space had become. Lucky never moved his things - something he was infinitely grateful for. He could recall too well his ever boiling frustration at having his room "cleaned" when living in the castle. The maids were well-meaning, but always adjusting. The room he had held would have felt more his own had he been able to move his own furniture around without the chambermaids fawning over him.

"No, no, young Lord Heisenberg! This is all wrong...off you go...go play...we will fix this mess."

Now on his own and in his element of chaos, he felt comforted, even if secretly so, that Lucky never seemed to complain.

Comforted...but cautious.

The day at the stronghold seemed stamped into his memory...right in the front for all to see. It remained a wonder Lucky didn't see it on his face.

The knowledge.

The horrible, horrible knowledge.

Love.

Staring at an old newspaper clip-out that he had saved with a picture of a modern car on its faded pages, he absently pushed the glasses back up his nose.

It tired him - the constant need to flip back and forth between acknowledging his feelings and thrusting them as far down as he could manage. Drowning them out with that beautiful sound of cinching machinery. Allowing them to seep into him with every laugh from her lips.

Heisenberg was starting to fall in love with the woman. The woman he had failed to kill - the lucky one to survive his maze. The woman his mother expected him to impregnate in order for Miranda's mad vessel to be born and to be killed all in the name of misery.

Misery otherwise known as Eva.

Slowly but certainly, Lucky was driving him insane. Reminding him of things he could never, ever have. Teasing him over and over for days on end.

Heisenberg remembered all too well his reason for entering the office. He had nearly sliced his own arm clean off his shoulder when he lost himself to his situation. To the possibility that, despite his body being so ill-suited for the task, Lucky could have his child. Would want his child. His thoughts, as they so often did, snapped back to the need for freedom - for the need for the arms to come loose from his latest corpse to transform them into one of his many soldiers.

But the more he thought of freedom, the more she sat in the background of his mind.

The more she sat there, the more his tired musings began to stitch together.

The more freedom and Lucky - the two dreams of his world - became intertwined.

He had been thinking of her - of Lucky - beside him the day that he won freedom from the village.

Won freedom...and her.

"You did it, Heis! You did it!"

Lucky would never know how dear it was to him...the fact that her emotions ran so freely with her very being. Beaming. She would do nothing less than beam at him. Her eyes would glow and crinkle at their tails as they did when she gave him her most genuine smiles.

"You did it. You're free. Our...our family is free."

"...family?"

She would grab his hand. Just one. He needed the other steady on her cheek.

Lucky would bring that hand clasped in her own to her belly.

"Our family..."

"Our...another...another Heisenberg?"

In his dreams, she shyly escaped his gaze to nod.

"You...you haven't been alone. Not with me. Not with the start of our family. But now...now, Heis..." Her eyes popped back up all soft and sincere. "Now you'll never be alone again. Not with our baby Heisenberg on the way..."

The only break from his reverie was the slice to one of his favorite stained t-shirts. Only the fact that it was Heisenberg's powers directing the saw had it falling to the floor instead of through his tensed skin.

Heisenberg could only stand in shocked silence. The arm that had been spared from the violence came to grab his shoulder. Though no injury had occurred, he felt stabbed all the same.

Family...and joy?

Lucky...with him?

Another Heisenberg...alive?

A thought washed over him like ice entering his veins.

A boy or a girl...would we have a boy or a girl first?

First.

As if Lucky wished to be objected to more of his perverted and preposterous daydreams.

When he left the room, the metal was still shaking.

"Gotta get that fucking schematic...keep forgetting it...keep going to the office and...fuck...keep talking to her. Gotta stop fucking talking to her. Schematic. Get the fucking schematic."

Lucky had been asleep in bed when he first entered. A rushing relief to his soul. But as the search for the schematic went from flipping through one file to frantically reshuffling the wayward stack the paper should have been in, he knew it was only a matter of time before she would appear.

"Oh...ah!" Lucky yawned all cute and squeaky. "Good morning, Heis."

"Morning," he said flatly. "You...you move any of these lately?"

"No," she said sleepily. "I don't touch those...way above my pay grade. What are you looking for?"

"Core schematic," he grumbled. "Not fucking here...where the hell did I put it?"

Though Lucky made a very pointless questioning noise, she said nothing as she sat down and began her daily transcriptions. Hell, he had been grateful. She showed concern because she was simply a good person beneath all of the trauma and the terror she had reigned on his self-image. But she didn't pry or attempt to enter his space afterward where she would clearly only be in the way.

But that was before her second moan filled the office.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, never looking up from his stack of papers.

A frustrated sigh and a grumble came from the desk chair.

"Think I slept on my neck funny last night," she said. "Doesn't help that my posture is shit. Just making it impossible to find a good angle to work in."

Growing agitated at his fruitless search, Heisenberg whipped around to look at her. "Want some help?"

"Mmn?"

"Want a massage or something?" he offered. "A...ha! You'll find this funny. Supersized one up in the castle? Used to love to make me massage her neck when I was a kid. Fucking manual labor when I was barely old enough to write. Had maids to do it - an assload at that - and forced me to instead."

Raising an eyebrow at him, Lucky frowned. "Was it...did she...did she hurt you? Like...if you didn't do it?"

"Ah nah," he said, taking careful steps over to Lucky. "Told you...when I was a kid, I was off limits. I whine about it now...but...well...I was a kid. Bitch loves kids. So I had to massage her back...but only part of this stupid salon thing we used to do together. It was nothing. Stupid. Just like her."

He did not know what to make of Lucky's face. Tilting her head, she steadied a look on him that could only be called curious.

"It's...it's a good memory? Of Alcina when you were small?"

Heisenberg scoffed.

"It's a memory," he said, standing behind Lucky with a wide stance and an even wider stare at her neck. "Not good or bad...just...there. Now...where's it hurt, kid?"

Raising a hand, Lucky placed her fingers on a section of her neck before swirling her touch.

"Ah...there...like just this one spot, but fanning out..."

"Okay...looks like your C7."

"My what now?"

Chuckling, Heisenberg moved her hand out of the way. "Your C7 vertebrae. Duck your chin down so I can get in here properly."

Doing as she was told, Lucky's head moved forward and Heisenberg placed his gloved hands against her neck. His thumbs encased the pained area and began to move in slow yet sturdy circles.

Lucky immediately began squirming.

"Can you maybe try without the gloves?" she asked. "Those are like...rough or something."

Casting off his gloves quickly, Heisenberg rolled his shoulders before trying again. "Wah, wah, wah...doing you a favor and you're out here complaining. That better, your highness?"

"Yes, actually," she said, relaxing. "And thank you. Asshole."

Puffing air out of his mouth, Heisenberg merely shook his head as he kneaded her skin.

"Mmn!"

Heisenberg tried to hide his stillness by immediately starting to massage her skin again.

But the noise could not be ignored.

"What was that?"

"Your hands...they're so warm. Fuck...feels good."

"Oh..." he said dumbly. Blinking down at her, he turned his head away as he kept his fingers in motion.

The fact that his cock had begun to waken in his pants was not lost on him.

"Are you using your electric powers? Is that why it feels so good?"

"Nah...really shouldn't do that on the living above the waist."

Above the waist...but below the waist...

"Ah," he continued, running his teeth over the scar on his lower lip. "Cause of the heart or whatever. Probably your brain too from this angle. Could fry both without meaning to. And I was working...earlier. Probably why they feel hot."

Lucky sighed as he continued to work her neck. His fingers were sweeping but slow. He had started off so intently and so rough. What had happened?

I felt her skin. Felt her beneath me. Felt her neck...for all she knows I could snap it right now and instead of being afraid she's welcoming me...she trusts me...trusts me enough to let me do this...

The next round of his fingers on her neck dipped into skin purposeful in their worship.

Her response was immediate.

"Oh...oh...good boy," she whispered.

To say he was lost for words was like calling water wet.

Though he kept his massage in a rhythmic round, his eyes were wide as they could possibly be behind his glasses. So wide that they hurt.

What the hell did she just do to me?

If he had to go off of physical injury, he would say she punched him in the stomach with all the force of a train running at full speed.

If he had to go off of an attack to his psyche, he would say she wormed her way into some long buried and forgotten wire that sent his entire brain into overdrive.

If he had to go off the erection now straining against his paints, he would say that he was royally fucked.

"You really are so good at this," she said, her voice still breathless. "Good boy...my good boy, Heis."

Heisenberg snatched his hands away as if Lucky were lava.

"Wait! No...what's wrong?" she asked, turning slightly to look at him.

If she looks down...if she sees...

"GOTTA TAKE A SHIT!" he exclaimed suddenly.

Lucky's mouth dropped open as she gaped at him.

Then she nodded with a laugh playing at her lips.

"Yeah. Go. Just come back and finish your massage."

Before he could finish blinking, he found himself storming down the hallway.

Well...intending to storm. His gait was impacted a bit by his dick standing at full mast and his hands hurriedly attempting to unbuckle the straps around his pants.

So FUCKING dumb. A shit? Really? he thought, visibly grimacing. It would have probably been less embarrassing to admit I was about to jack it to her calling me hers.

Hers...her good boy...good...I'm her good boy...hahaha...

What am I? A fucking dog?

...don't answer that.

Rushing into the break room, he considered the couch before catching sight of the bathroom. With a flick of one wrist as his other hand pulled his cock from his underwear and pants, Heisenberg slammed open the bathroom door.

He managed to slide his pants down his legs as he sat on the toilet and closed the door with the weakest of hand movements.

Finally free from judgment, Heisenberg hissed as he fumbled his glasses to the nearby counter and took himself into his hand.

"Good boy...her good boy...fuck...fuck yeah I am, baby..."

A groan and a grunt fell from his lips as he jerked his hand along his shaft.

All too often this act had been nothing but release from tension. An exploration so technical and so tedious as to be boring. But now with Lucky at his side and in his bed - however platonically she slept there - the images that plagued him seemed vibrantly real and tempting in their joyful teasing.

Imaginings - hopes and dreams and fantasies - that he could only cling onto in the moment.

The desk.

He would take her right on that same desk she was taking notes on.

"Oh, Karl," she would say, despite not knowing his first name. "Gonna be my good boy?"

"Yes," he said aloud, eyes closing and mind prickling with sights of her and waves of pleasure.

Lucky would be splayed on his desk - lying on her back and presenting herself to him as if she were a meal to be consumed instead of a darling treasure to worship.

"That's good...only good boys are allowed to fuck me. Isn't that what you want?"

"Yes...yes...god fucking damnit. YES." Huffing and hating the tremble in his thighs, Heisenberg bucked into his hand. "Yes...only me...wanna be your good boy. I'll be so good for you. Only you, Mein Schatz..."

A dirty laugh from her lips. The Lucky of his dreams becoming more and more defined as she palmed one breast and teased her clit with the fingers of her other hand.

"Mmm...know what you're saying you know...my treasure...that's so cute...been feeling the same way about you lately...thinking of you...dreaming of you...my good boy want to tell me what else he's been feeling? Mmn? Big boy wanna tell me before you put your cock inside of me?"

Lips loose along with his pleasure, Heisenberg found he could not build his voice to say the words aloud.

So he mouthed them instead. Mouthed them and stuttered in his quest for pleasure as his hand curled about his shaft at the "lah" tipping silently from his tongue.

"Oh, darling..." A smile. She'd smile. Genuine and sweet and sincere and all for him. "I love you too, Karl."

"Mmnnn....ah...fu-UCK!" With a panicked inhale, Heisenberg quickly pinched the head of his cock to prevent his end from coming too soon. "No, no, no...not yet...not yet...please..."

Though the pleasure was unlike anything he had previously experienced and his calves clenched in protest of a release delayed, his oncoming orgasm stalled and began to fade.

"Such a good boy," said Lucky, eyeing him in his fantasy like she would look at a drink of water on a hot day. "That's right. You don't come until I tell you to. Understand?"

A nod of his head.

"Good, good boy. My good boy. Good Karl. Come on...think it's time you got your treat...here...I'll help you..."

With her fingers moving to fully expose the inside of that wet and preciously pink pussy of hers, Lucky looked up at him with a lidded look.

Heisenberg had no experience with another person when it came to handling his physical pleasure. Hell, with any pleasure or positive feeling at all. Except maybe the triumph of victory over others, he had never had the chance to experience happiness - true happiness and trust and faith in another soul.

Until her.

And for her...for her he would indulge and give himself freely...if only locked away inside of his mind.

Inexperience taking a back seat to passion, he pictured himself guiding his cock into her waiting and welcoming body. Maybe he would steady himself with a hand on her hip or simply with a heated stare into her eyes.

He all but strangled his cock to try to mimic a feeling he had never known and had never thought to miss before her.

"Uh-huh," whined Lucky in his dreams. "Oh...you're so big...fill me up just right. So fucking thick..."

"Hah...ah...your good boy big enough for you?"

"Yes...oh yes...yes...so big...such a perfect dick...please...please Karl...Heis...please, baby, please...Heis?"

When he began to rut into his own hand with a purpose, he felt flames like that of standing directly beside the blaring crucible dancing across his cheeks. Though some of his daydream seemed vague and hard to read, he had enough to know that he could not delay the inevitable for much longer. Lucky - the real and actual Lucky - was still waiting for him back in the office. Waiting and none the wiser to his desperate need for her affection. It sickened him - the want for anything and everything to do with her.

Sickened him...and sent electric shocks of white pleasure down his spine.

"So fucking perfect...you're so fucking perfect for me, Lucky...oh..."

"Heis..."

"Huh...ah...already so close...so damn worked up...can't stand it...can't stand you looking like that..."

"Like what?"

Heaving and heatedly squirming where he sat, Heisenberg noticed for the first time that one of his boots jutted up and down on the floor beneath him. As if his entire body refused to be still.

"Most beautiful fucking thing I've ever seen," he bit out. "Please...please, Luck...I know it's soon...but please..."

A tilted head and a gentle grin. A pointer finger that danced around her clit and drew his eyes away only long enough for her to breathe out shallow and short. His eyes snapped back to hers immediately.

"Please what?"

"Please let me come...let me come inside you...wanna...wanna take you...claim you...don't want you with anyone else ever again."

Glinting eyes and lush eyelashes.

"You're gonna be all that to me, Heis? Well...in that case..."

Her lips finding his own. His very first kiss - albeit imaginary. Her lips soft but without taste. His own lips puckering even as they trembled from the need for more.

"In that case," she continued, taunting him in his ear. "Come, Heis. Be a good boy and come for me."

Hindsight would have him chastising himself for not thinking to grab some tissue. In the moment, however, he was too busy panting and watching his cum dot the floor in thick strips. Heisenberg growled...tried to hold on to the image of her with one eye still closed.

Reality settled in on him. Settled in even as his stomach quivered underneath his shirt and his orgasm began to relax into his bones. It was pleasant and his every nerve seemed to stand on edge. Tingles of pleasure radiated from his chest to his feet flat against the floor. Gulping in air, he knew he had never come so hard before in his life. It was good...great even.

But it was not her. It was not enough.

Clean up was a quick and tedious affair. Lucky could not know what he had done in her quarters. The tissues he found too late to wipe his seed from the floor were tossed and flushed away. He checked the room once and then again once his shades were back on his face.

Finishing the belt at the top of his pants, he cleared his throat before exiting.

The television in the break room still hummed though it sat completely dead in the meager light from the ceiling.

Shit...glad she wasn't in here. Never had anyone here to care about when I got down to business...no telling what my powers do with electronics...

The schematic. He had to find that damn schematic.

Trying to level his breathing as he stalked the hallway, Heisenberg considered the day before him. Lucky had not wished to attend a revitalization attempt with him yet. While he didn't intend to push her into seeing something that might scar her again, it might be worthwhile to have her eyes in the room at some point. She hadn't complained about the notes yet. Maybe he should offer? Make it sound like a small deal and let her in when it was near completion? Give her a taste before exposing her to more?

Fucking stupid...it's all so fucking stupid...what happened to me? If she were any assistant, I would just drag her ass there and have her record the whole thing. Fuck me with all this concerned shit.

But she's not just any assistant...

Entering the office, he stilled at the doorway when he saw Lucky facing him from her chair.

"Uh...hey," he said, licking his lips. "Sorry about that. Took...ah...let's just forget it."

"Actually," she began. "I need to be honest with you. Because of what happened before..."

Eyebrows shooting up, he stood in silence before she continued.

"Um...so...I was sitting here...sitting here and trying to rub my neck or whatever..."

"Yes?"

"Well...the radio came on and it freaked me out a little bit..." She paused, her fidgety look dropping to the floor. "But...the more I listened...the more I...recognized your voice."

"My...my voice?"

"Yes."

Heisenberg could not move. He shouldn't be looking at her, but he was afraid if he blinked that the tension would break and she would begin laughing or cursing or, worst of all, apologizing.

"Umm...it...I heard you. And I guess you were...I guess it was real time." A tent of her fingers and a swallow in her throat. "I heard your comment and responded and...I think...I think you could hear me too. Possibly? You seemed to...seemed to be replying to what I said directly."

Shame. Shame for a million years fell on his shoulders that had felt so light before.

"Where?" he managed to say. "Where did you come in? What comment did you respond to?"

How she looked at him, he had no idea. She was far braver than he could ever be. Heisenberg planned to face down Miranda without a single hesitation one day on that glorious battlefield where his freedom could be won.

But now? Faced with Lucky standing and walking toward him with the full weight of her eyes upon him?

He looked away.

"You said...you asked me if my good boy was big enough for me."

The purr in her voice. The sound of her steps growing closer. The burn in his throat.

"After that," she said. "I called your name...I...responded to you and you to me."

"That didn't...I..." He shook his head. "I...umm..."

"Can I hold your hand?"

Head shooting up, Heisenberg caught her heated look. The same heated look she had worn in his dreams.

He nodded. Nodded even though he barely registered it until she took his hand and steps to press herself flush against him.

When she spoke, it was hushed and low.

For him and him only.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom...freshen up. Since we know you can communicate from the radio to the television...I want you to tell me when it's okay to come back here. I'm giving you two options."

Heisenberg hung on her every word and looked at her as if she controlled his every movement.

"The first...you can leave. Can give me enough time to go there...find what you were looking for...then tell me you're off to do whatever. I won't mention this again. We won't mention it."

Silence fell between the two of you. A crackle of the radio to the side of the room.

"And the other option?" he asked, voice nearly breaking.

A shy look. A happy tilt of her lips.

"The other option...you can rest for a bit before I come back here and make whatever fantasy you were having come true."

A mouth drier than dry left his tongue feeling too large. Too large and too needed to swipe across his lips.

"You don't have to answer now-"

"The second one," he said. "Second one. Want that one. Screw the first one."

A bright and happy smile. A smile that crinkled the tail of her eyes and lit up her face.

She was beaming at him. Squeezing his hand before parting from him.

Not for long...not for damn long if he could help it.

"You give me the word then, good boy," she teased, walking out of the room.

Legs nearly buckling and sending him to the ground, Heisenberg took uneasy steps to his office chair before throwing himself on it. His entire body buzzed, though it seemed far less like electricity and far more like promise and hope. Not love on her end...not yet. But a maybe. Potential.

More.

Grinning stupidly and looking at the desk, he made quick work of clearing the area for the fun he planned on having from his daydream to come true.

As soon as he picked up the recorder Lucky used to transcribe his notes, Heisenberg saw it.

That damned schematic.

His last visit to this same room. A note on said schematic stating "DON'T FORGET" in large words. A note he carelessly put there before guiding Lucky to sit down to look at her transcriptions and laugh with her over the sixth stable boy in one week to die of drunken stupidity.

Quietly and contentedly, he opened the desk drawer to stuff the schematic inside.

"Mmn...don't think I'll need you for a while yet actually..." Eyeing the radio on the wall, Heisenberg tossed his glasses to the table and tried to slick and perfect the wiry hair about his head. "Oh, Lucky, honey...room is ready whenever you are...and so is your good boy."

[becca-e-barnes]

hi lovely, I wanted to make a request about a sensitive topic, so it's ok if you decide not to.

But if you decide to do it, Zemo x Reader where she has been sexually abused and he comforts her, because I just need him to tell me that it was not my fault.

I sometimes remember the moment it happened and it makes me really sad and guilty. I'm really sorry if this request triggers you. Thank you in advance🖤

Honey omg, can I start off by saying whatever happened was absolutely not your fault. I woke up at 5am and saw this request and I just couldn’t get back to sleep until I had started writing it. I was in a similar situation a few years ago so this is really based off my experience and how I found I dealt with it. While it still upsets me sometimes I’ve found I don’t think about it as often as I used to so it does get better, I promise. I actually found this quite cathartic to write since it’s something I don’t talk about much. If you ever want a little chat, please don’t be scared to shoot me a message! Hope you’re doing okay 💗

Pairing: Helmut Zemo x GN! Reader

(Again, the fact this is gender neutral was a happy accident but I wanted it to be applicable to anyone that might find some comfort in it)

Word count: 1.5 k

Summary: You have a bad night and Zemo comforts you (list of international resources at the end.)

Warnings: TW: Sexual Assault mention, please don’t read this if those themes will upset you. There are no graphic descriptions, this is more just the reader dealing with the aftermath. Hurt/ comfort, quite dark, angst, Zemo does his best but everyone heals differently, fluff.

You weren’t quite sure how it had happened but it had become one of those nights where reality had become a little too heavy to handle. You had went to bed feeling fine but woke in the early hours, head swimming with the recollection of everything that had happened. All of a sudden, sleep was the last thing on your mind, your body jarred awake by the painful memories and the sickly feeling that always accompanied them. Rather than spend the night tossing and turning in bed beside your boyfriend, you got up, hauling your sleep deprived frame from the warmth of your bed, heading to the little snug at the end of the hall. Grounding yourself wasn’t easy when you felt like this, but you had to take the time to notice the little things or risk losing yourself in the past altogether. You let yourself notice the little breeze that came in through the window down your hall, the smooth feeling of the wooden bannister under your fingertips and the cold that travelled up your bare legs as your feet padded softly across the wooden floor. Your pyjama shorts tickled the tops of your thighs as you walked the short distance before you gently pushed the heavy wooden door, admiring how it manoeuvred silently under your touch, despite it’s weight. None of these things were particularly special, often lost in the monotony of day to day life but during these early mornings where the past felt all too real, they were little blessings, reminders of the present.

Closing the door behind you quietly, you made your way over to the little cushioned window ledge. It had been extended so it was easily large enough to sit on, giving you a vantage point to look out the topmost window of the house, completely unobstructed. You settled into the familiar spot, legs crossed in front of you. From here you could see everything that went on in the grounds of Helmut’s massive estate. You could see the little stream running down beside your house, often your favourite point of focus as it was ever changing and therefore, distracting. Huge birds swooped and dived at the lake, hoping to procure some breakfast for themselves and their young, some flying off triumphantly with a tasty fish while others left with nothing, frustrated by the difficulties of hunting. Apart from the running water and their squawks, there were no other sounds to disturb the early morning air.

The birds were an adequate distraction for around an hour before you began to lose interest, feeling your mind wander once more in a direction you didn’t want it to take. That pang of guilt hit you deep in the chest as you began to feel like your body was tainted in some way. Horrible memories flooded your head, memories of roaming hands and that feeling of being painfully helpless, your chest feeling like it might collapse under the weight of those memories. You had no more tears left to cry when you thought about what had happened, while it still hurt as intensely as it did, the memories weren’t often accompanied by tears anymore, rather a guilty ache in your chest that threatened to consume you and you honestly weren’t sure which was worse. A good cry used to get it all out, give you the opportunity to start fresh and you often felt all the better for it when you were done but the ache was harder to manage. You hated how this was now something you had to live with, knowing that someone else’s actions had such a huge reign over your life.

You were so lost in thought, you hadn’t even noticed Helmut slipping in behind you until you heard the faint click of the heavy wooden door.

“Bad night my love?” He asked softly, his voice barely disturbing the calm, his accent noticeably thicker after he had just woken up. He was still in a little thin pair of cotton pyjamas, hair messy and tousled from sleep. You could only nod in response, noticing how his lips pressed together so he didn’t voice his anger about the person that had done this to you. He didn’t want the focus of this to be on them and their selfish actions, that wasn’t helpful but it didn’t stop his blood boiling in his veins. Dealing with this was often as hard for him as it was for you, seeing the only person he loved so dearly feel the way you did, knowing you were hurting and he wasn’t able to take the pain away sometimes brought him to a very dark place.

“May I touch you?” He whispered quietly, knowing that sometimes having that contact could be worse for you.

“Please.” You nodded simply, feeling his body slot in behind yours. His legs bracketed yours, arms wrapped around your waist and his head buried in the crook of your neck as you both went back to watching the birds silently. His heart beating in his chest was comforting against you, the rise and fall of his breathing giving you something else to focus on.

“This is not your cross to bear alone, my dove.” He whispered, thumbs rubbing at the exposed skin of your waist where your pyjama top had ridden up slightly.

“I know I just… Didn’t want to wake you.” You replied, equally softly.

“How many times must I tell you sweetheart, I want you to wake me. Let me be there for you.” He pleaded, pressing little kisses to your shoulders, hoping to rid your arms of the goosebumps that had begun to form. He was not mad, not at you anyway, understanding that sometimes you just needed the time alone to come to terms with things but if you needed him, he wanted to be there. There was a heavy pause that hung in the air after that, both of you slightly weighed down by the gravity of the emotions this can inflict on you as a couple.

“Can I talk about it?” You asked softly. It wasn’t something you did very often, preferring not to burden Helmut too much with the details. He had heard it all before so nothing would surprise him but you were still conscious that it hurt him to hear what had happened.

“Of course.” He answered, gentle chaste kisses to your shoulders reminding you that this was entirely on your terms. He did not press you to talk further when you had said enough, he also didn’t let his own pain at the situation take away from yours, knowing if you needed to talk about it, he had to be there to listen. You took a deep breath, taking one of his hands in yours, clasping them together.

“I just feel… Tainted? I feel guilty. Feel like I could’ve done more to stop it.” You knew you couldn’t have done more but there was always a nagging sense of ‘what if’. Helmut nodded from behind you, giving your hand a little squeeze, waiting to see if you wanted to continue. “Feel like it’s my fault. And now I have to deal with it. But you don’t have to.” You explained quietly, ache in your chest growing to sharp pain.

“You are not tainted my love. Nor was it your fault. You could not have done more to prevent it and even if you could, that is not the point. You shouldn’t have had to do more. One ‘no’ should have been enough.” It killed him to know you thought like this about yourself. He didn’t see you like that at all. Your body wasn’t tainted from what had happened, it didn’t make him want you less. It made him admire your strength and courage, seeing how you got up every morning and took care of the body you blamed. “Your blame is misplaced my love. The blame is not yours to carry. You have done no wrong.” His words made warmth flourish in your chest, hearing him listen to you and truly understand meant more to you than he would ever know.

“Thank you Helmut.” You whispered, tears brimming in your eyes, spilling over your cheeks but not from sadness, more from the unconditional love Helmut afforded you, the time he took to make you be gentler to your body again making you feel more loved than you could’ve imagined possible.

“Not at all, my sweet.” He whispered, gripping you just a little tighter. He loved you, every single part of you. To him, you were perfect and nothing would change that. He just wanted to help you through your pain and absolve you of it, hoping some day you could see yourself how he saw you.

A/N: I’m going to drop this link here just in case it’s needed, this was the most comprehensive resource I could find. If you need it, please do use it. 💗

https://osapr.harvard.edu/international-resources-0

[ulquiorrapleasecallmetrash]

Thank you for requesting and thank you so much for reminding me to drink water! You better drink enough water as well! You're important too! Hope you enjoy! 💧

----

14 Dialogue: "Shut up" "Make me"

7 kiss: A kiss to shut them up

------

Sebastian could do a lot of things around the Phantomhive Manor, but that didn't mean he was never annoyed when all of the employees in the Phamtonive manor would mess up a very simple task. One of things that would peeve him off the most as of late would be Baldroy and his 5th cooking disaster of the day, Sebastian was slowly losing his sanity because of it. Baldroy wasn't good at his cooking job, sure but his home protection was the reason why he was worth keeping him, so firing him wouldn't work at all. Instead with Ciel's permission, he had decided to hire an actual chef to help improve his cooking. Of course, Baldroy was not pleased in the slightest when he found out.

"Are you serious? I thought I was getting better!"

Sebastian gave Baldroy his signature fake smile before saying, "Everyone needs improvement, and y/n is one of the most successful chefs in the industry. It would do you some good to learn how not to blow up a kitchen every time you prepare Young Master his meals."

Baldroy couldn't completely deny it, but that didn't mean he couldn't be pissed that Sebastian would go this far into having someone take half of his job. "It will only be temporary, just until I'm positive that your cooking has improved and you won't burn down the kitchen. " With a huff of annoyance Valero had accepted the new chef.

Though it was getting harder to stay sane with each passing day with their constant scolding and correcting him the proper cooking techniques into cooking gourmet food.

"I get it, Stop hasslin ' me!"

" No because if you did then you wouldn't have made this salmon charred!"

"It's not burnt! Just slightly crispy."

" So you are confident that you can serve this to Master Phantomhive without him complaning? " You crossed your arms, giving him a skeptical glare. "Of course! It just needs a better plating something YOU lack in!" You could feel your eye twitch right on the spot. " Alright oh, great chef, plate your food then send it off too the master. " He nodded, determined to plate the best Salmon in the world.

Surprisingly, it didn't end up too well. You and Baldroy could see the visible digust on Phantomhive's face when he took a bite of the salmon, followed by a fit of coughing. Luckily he was able to wash it down with the tea Sebastian had just brewed. "What...was.... That...that was repulsive!" You grinned, " Master Phantomhive, That was Baldroy's salmon he was so confindent that you would enjoy." Ciel looked from you to Baldroy, giving him a disapproving look. Baldroy blushes with embarrassment, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. " Luckily I have taken the initiative to prepare a more proper meal for you. " With a snap of your fingers, Sebastian entered the room, rolling a cart of Ciel's actual meal. Upon lifting the lid, a mouth watering aroma filled the room along with a perfectly cooked salmon with steamed vegetables on the side which was beautifully garnished. Sebastian placed the plate in front of Ciel. He nodded in approval before quietly complimenting the presentation of your food. You made eye contact with Baldroy smiling at him causing him to roll his eyes. "My my, you certainly have talent Miss y/n." Sebastian praised you as he watched his master eat every bit of his food." That's how you properly cook a meal, Baldroy. Now you see why I wanted you to actually try and pay attention to what I have to say to you? " Baldroy clenched his fists with anger, grumbling unpleasant words to himself storming out of the room. "Hey!" You yelled after him, following him. " You need to answer properly! " "Do you take joy into embarrassing me?" He yelled at you, a scowl plastered on his handsome features. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms, " Of course not! I want you to improve! I only did that to prove a point that you are a horrible cook and you need help! " "Being arrogant, nagging andunpleasant to be around makes it harder to pay attention to you! Just having a pretty face never works! " You both widened at his last statement, if course you were offended by what he said but also flattered that he thought you were pretty. You blushes deeply, crossing your arms before stating, "Well if I don't then we will be back at square one! You blowing up the kitchen and you living on the streets because you can't cook worth a damn!" You were both getting angrier with each other it was a frustrating thing for the both of you. " If you quit bitching in the kitchen maybe I could - " Just shut up already! " You interrupted him, you were fuming, still not thinking straight because of his compliment. He watched your mannerisms seeing your cheeks flush was really adorable. He leaned into you close, lips only inches apart. "Why don't you make me-" You immediately leaned into him, your plush lips felt amazing against his slightly chapped ones. It was now Baldroy's turn to become flustered. Surprisingly, it didn't end up too well. You and Baldroy could see the visible digust on Phantomhive's face when he took a bite of the salmon, followed by a fit of coughing. Luckily he was able to wash it down with the tea Sebastian had just brewed. "What...was.... That...that was repulsive!" You grinned, " Master Phantomhive, That was Baldroy's salmon he was so confindent that you would enjoy." Ciel looked from you to Baldroy, giving him a disapproving look. Baldroy blushes with embarrassment, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. " Luckily I have taken the initiative to prepare a more proper meal for you. " With a snap of your fingers, Sebastian entered the room, rolling a cart of Ciel's actual meal. Upon lifting the lid, a mouth watering aroma filled the room along with a perfectly cooked salmon with steamed vegetables on the side which was beautifully garnished. Sebastian placed the plate in front of Ciel. He nodded in approval before quietly complimenting the presentation of your food. You made eye contact with Baldroy smiling at him causing him to roll his eyes. "My my, you certainly have talent Miss y/n." Sebastian praised you as he watched his master eat every bit of his food." That's how you properly cook a meal, Baldroy.

Now you see why I wanted you to actually try and pay attention to what I have to say to you? " Baldroy clenched his fists with anger, grumbling unpleasant words to himself storming out of the room. "Hey!" You yelled after him, following him. " You need to answer properly! " "Do you take joy into embarrassing me?" He yelled at you, a scowl plastered on his handsome features. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms, " Of course not! I want you to improve! I only did that to prove a point that you are a horrible cook and you need help! " "Being arrogant, nagging andunpleasant to be around makes it harder to pay attention to you! Just having a pretty face never works! " You both widened at his last statement, if course you were offended by what he said but also flattered that he thought you were pretty. You blushes deeply, crossing your arms before stating, "Well if I don't then we will be back at square one! You blowing up the kitchen and you living on the streets because you can't cook worth a damn!" You were both getting angrier with each other it was a frustrating thing for the both of you. " If you quit bitching in the kitchen maybe I could - " Just shut up already! " You interrupted him, you were fuming, still not thinking straight because of his compliment. He watched your mannerisms seeing your cheeks flush was really adorable. He leaned into you close, lips only inches apart. "Why don't you make me-" You immediately leaned into him, your plush lips felt amazing against his slightly chapped ones. It was now Baldroy's turn to become flustered.

You let go of him, It was hard making out any of his words, but you had to admit, it was cute seeing him stumble on his words. " w-what was that for?! " He exclaimed, taking a few steps back, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. You giggled at him before saying, " To prove to you that I could get you to shut up. " You frowned next, suddenly feeling a rush of guilt. " I apologize for being so ruthless to you... I just want you to succeed but sometimes I can get carried away.... " You admitted to him, awkwardly laughing to ease everything. "Well... I was a pain too, how about we start all over? If you don't yell at me all the time then I will actually pay attention to you. " You grinned at him. "Deal!" You reach your hand for a handshake but instead he used your hand to pull you into another kiss, this time more passionate and heated. You were going to complain but instead you just let it happen.

It was for the best afterall.

-----

request are open!

[yunhofingers-writes]

Alone- Yeosang (FWB)

Note♥︎- This is part two to FWB! i remember @yeotlny mentioned something about me adding a part two to this and so i did it hehehehe.. Please i don’t write angst so this was pretty much my second time trying this. .As always if you want to be added to my taglist, here it is

Genre♡︎- Angst

Warnings/Tags♥︎- Mention of sex, grinding, cheating, Sad life man

Pairing: Yeasang X F | Wooyoung X F!

Word count♡︎- 1871+

❥- You ran home with tears in your eyes, regretting everything. Your heart hurts just thinking about everything that happened. Your boyfriend was always so sweet to you, always treated you right, gave you everything you wanted, loved you the way you’ve always wanted and you ruined it all.

You’re a cheater and have been for 2 months. You would still kiss your boyfriend’s lip even after you blew Yeosang somewhere. Yeosang was your best friend, and your fuck buddy. It’s always been that way since college.

At first, you were just his friend who had a pathetic little crush on him. Your crush has been carrying from freshman year until junior year in college when you had the guts to finally tell him. He frowned at you and wouldn’t have talked to you for at least 2 months. You spent those 2 months crying and working on yourself. Bettering yourself.

Yeosang finally came back to you the moment you were willing to find self love in yourself, the moment you were happy again. You had some words to tell him.

He asked to speak with you first and you were ready, or so you thought. The moment you stepped into his house, you were pushed against the door by Yeosang. His lips were kissing all around you, bucking his hips into yours. Your mind is only thinking of one thing: your crush is trying to have intercourse with you. He let go of you and looked into your eyes “Do you want to do this with me for real?” He asked and you nodded quickly.

You woke up in his bed the next morning, thinking you both were a couple. His exact words were “look, yesterday was fun, but I would rather us just be friends. I'm not ready for a relationship.” There went your confidence you spent months working on.

There was nothing that could fix your sadness, not even your bestest friend, Mingi.

Surprisingly, you were the one who ran back to him, kissing him. You were the one who told him ‘let’s become friends with benefits

Of course with some hesitation, Yeosang agreed.

A year later, you found your boyfriend, Wooyoung. You two were so happy together. He always did what he had to for you to be happy. He loved you like no other, gave you all of his attention and loyalty, unlike you.

Not even two month in the relationship, you cheated with Yeosang. You just couldn’t get over Yeosang and his cock. He fucked you too well for you to run away that fast, to walk in general.

Today was your breaking point, you felt so bad at how easily you walked in the house like you did nothing behind his back. He would kiss you, cook for you, run your bath, everything to make you happy. You were just treating him like trash.

Yeosang bringing up Wooyoung in your sex session today has made you realize you were a horrible girlfriend. You cried until you got a headache.

You know what you have to do. Wooyoung deserves better and a better girlfriend.

You spent the rest of your night crying until you went to bed.

You woke up in the worst mood ever. You didn’t even want to check your phone at all, but you knew you had to.

You checked it and saw that you had 20 missed calls from Wooyoung, 1 missed call from Yeosang, 12 missed calls from Mingi, and 2 missed calls from San, Wooyoung;s best friend.You panicked, not knowing what to do. San never calls you. you were scared

You felt that it was less stressful if you called Mingi back, so that was what you did.

“Hel-“

You didn’t even get your words out before Mingi started storming off on you.

“What did we talk about already huh? You promised me you were going to leave Yeosang alone! And what happened? You got yourself in some shit. I’m not helping you this time, you’re on your own.” Mingi nagged and you started crying.

“Mingi- please I don’t know what to do.”

“Uh uh- maybe next time actually try to listen to me, okay? I’ll be here if you need a shoulder to cry on, sweetheart.”

You ended the call with one question on your mind.

How the fuck does Mingi know? Wait-

You quickly called San and to your misfortune, he answered.

“I’m disappointed in you. I told you not to hurt him, and that’s exactly what you did. You should be ashamed of yourself for this horrible behavior.” San told you, voice light.

“That’s not what I called you for though. Wooyoung said ``meet him at his house now.”

Before you asked any questions, he ended the call.

Now you were really panicking. Your body felt super heavy.

This was all your fault. Everything was your fault and you knew that. You just weren’t ready to actually take accountability for it.

You wanted to run away and never look back.

You were regretting everything.

You shouldn’t have done anything with Yeosang.

You got ready for the day as slow as possible, not looking forward to it. You wondered if you could just sleep your problems away and ignore everyone. You know you can’t. You can’t run or sleep away from everything.This is your mistake and you must own up to it.

No matter how many times you tell yourself this, you know it’s not making you feel better.

+

You walked to Wooyoung’s house, slowly of course, thinking about all of the laughs you shared with Wooyoung, the kisses, the hugs, the small gifts you use to give each other unexpectedly. Everything was ruined quickly with a snap of the finger all because you wanted dick..

pathetic..

You hate yourself right now.

You really lowered your standards to someone who doesn’t even care about your happiness. Someone who only thinks of having sex with you, nothing else.

Why would you do that to yourself? How could you do that to yourself?

You squeezed your eyes together tightly, trying to see if you’re dreaming. You have to be, there’s no way you’re not dreaming.

You opened them and were in front of Wooyoung’s house. You nervously knocked on the door 3 times. You hoped he wasn’t here so you could run home.

Your stomach dropped down when you heard the door opening. So this was happening right now..It was time for confrontation and honestly, you were nowhere near ready.

Wooyoung was staring through your soul right now. You fiddled with your fingers, suddenly finding the ground entertaining.

“You can come in.” You winced at how cold his voice was. He sounded like he hated you and you couldn’t blame him.’

You were just confused on how he even found out.

You tried to shake your nerves off as you walked in the house, surprised to see Yeosang sitting there, smirking at you. “Hey.” He waved.

You nervously waved at him and sat down on the chair next to him, across from Wooyoung.

“I’m going to ask you this once.”

This is really happening right now.

“Did you cheat on me?”

You looked down and gnawed on your lip. You didn’t want to look him in the face. You didn’t want to see him sad, you didn’t want to see him angry.

“Well?!” His voice raised a little higher and you jumped. Yeosang just looked, daydreamed.

“I did.” You cried out. Tears streaming down your face endlessly. You felt so bad. Your heart hurts

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung looked away, jaw locked.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Wooyoung pulled at his hair and walked away.

“I knew you were doing something sneaky behind my back. I just couldn’t pin-point it.”

He walked back to you, eyes glossy. “I would’ve never thought you would’ve been the one to cheat on me. What did I do wrong? Was I not good enough? Did I not give you everything you wanted?”

You thought you were crying earlier, You’re balling now.

All you could do was apologize to him. You can feel his heart shatter right in front of you and Yeosang.

The unanswered question was finally answered.

“Yeosang sent me a video.”

Your eyes widened and you looked at Yeosang who wasn’t paying you no mind.

“He told me that he felt bad he was fucking you while i was waiting for you.” His tears dropped

You watched as Yeosang nodded.

“I want to break up.” He had his eyes closed as he said his statement.

You saw this coming. You just weren't prepared for it. at all.

You nodded your head, and looked back down, embarrassed that this is all happening in front of Yeosang, upset that he was the one who snitched and got away, and overall disappointed in yourself for letting yourself down like that.

After all of these years of being hard on yourself, not having self love and having to build all of that, you’ve learned nothing.

You deserve everything that just happened.

You can’t even be mad at Yeosang. You deserved it all.

“Was this fun to you?!” Wooyoung harshly questioned, showing you the video of you and Yeosang’s last sex session. You watched, defeated.

“Was it worth our relationship?” He was harshly wiping his tears. “I thought we were something. I didn’t know that sex affected our relationship that bad.” He shook his head, finally ready to accept defeat and go on with his life.

“Don’t say anything, just leave, both of you.” He walked to his door and slowly opened it.

Yeosang got up first, bowing and walked out with you following.

Once you both left, you turned him around. He faced you with a blanked face.

“Why did you do that?! I wanted to do it on my own. I didn’t fucking need your help.” You spat out

He rolled his eyes and pushed your hand off of his shoulder. “You’re just as wrong as I am. You came to me first with your ‘yeosang, i’m horny’ ‘yeosang touch me please’ ‘yeosang he can’t fuck me like you’ bull shit and now you want to cry because you got caught in your bullshit. We’ve been fucking for 2 months without your poor boyfriend knowing. I don’t want to longer fuck a cheater. “ He stood still, dark eyes piercing through yours.

“But you were with me in this.” You cried harder.

“And now I'm not. If you’ll excuse me, I have a date to go to today.” He brushed past your shoulder and your eyes widened.

A date?

Is this why you outed me? So I could get out of your way? So I could lose my relationship? Or because you simply thought it was entertainment?”

Yeosang turned around with a loud sigh, getting frustrated at you yelling at him. “I’m ready for a relationship now, I no longer want to have play time with you anymore. It’s your choice whether you accept it or not but you will respect it.”

That was his last words to you before completely moving out of your life.

You ruined everything.

You have nothing, nobody.

You were alone now.

Alone.

End

Krusty crew: @serialee @galaxteez @multidreams-and-desires @a-soft-hornytiny @yeotlny @lizsvcks @build-a-roleplay @moonxteez @yeosang99 @yunsangoveryonder @twancingyunhoe @seongsangsgf @chvngbxn @ki6hyun @latte-fairytaekwoon @sansbun @little-precious-baby @ateezappreciation @yutasyiddiepiercing2 @empenguin01 @violetwinters @its-bsma @underratedmisfit @sourmist @lunarteez2

Network Ping: @8makes1teamnet

[backtobackbakubabe]

I've just found your blog! I'm not sure what kind of requests you do, but something involving a reader who's a short guy, incredibly pure and compassionate, heart of gold, etc etc. and a dabi who doesn't understand how someone with their heart on their sleeve can like him so much? Idk jfkdhdksje

Hiii! Ok so you said guy, so I'm assuming you wanted a male reader. But this turned out a little more gender neutral than I had planned. Hope thats okay!

Dabi x Reader

Words: 718

Fluff/ Angst

****

It was just baffling to him. It didn’t matter how many times he blew up at the you, you just kept coming back for more.

At first, he found you annoying. Always pestering him and asking if he was okay. He hated when people asked him that. They always had this weird look about them. Like they didn’t actually care if he was okay. They just took one look at his ugly mug and thought, ‘well something has to be wrong with that guy’.

But you were different. You looked like you genuinely cared, and Dabi didn’t know if he liked that or hated it. He liked the fact that you weren’t a fake mindless zombie like the idiots who worked with him at the league. But he hated how guilty it made him feel when he yelled at you to leave him the fuck alone.

You worked in the convenience store below his apartment and had seen him come and go in all kinds of conditions. You’d seen him bloody and bruised, drunk and high as a kite. But you never missed an opportunity to ask him how he was doing.

Today was no different than any other day. Dabi was coming back from a mission covered in blood and ash. He had a headache and was exhausted and the last thing he wanted was to see your short form blocking the entrance to his room.

“Out of the way short stuff. I’m not in the mood for twenty questions.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “I-I respect that you can’t tell me what it is that you do. But I still feel compelled to make sure you’re okay.” You handed him a bag from the store you worked in. It had bandages, rubbing alcohol, bottles of water, a sports drink, and… a carton of cigarettes.

Dabi held up the cigarettes, “I thought you didn’t approve of my little habit?”

You shrugged, “When did I ever say that?”

Dabi rolled his eyes at you. “Uh, only every time I’ve ever bought them.”

You sighed, “Well you know I’m never one to judge. It’s your life, your body, you are free to do whatever you want with it but…”

“But…?”

You averted your eyes, “It just makes me sad to know that you don’t take care of yourself.”

Dabi gently pushed you to the side so he could unlock his door. “Why would I need to do that, when I have you to nag me back to health.” His hand froze right before he opened his door. “It’s creepy that you know where I live by the way.”

You blushed as you scurried in after him. “You told me where you lived the last time you came into the shop.” You held out a crumpled receipt that had his room number in his horrible handwriting.”

Now it was his turn to blush. “Oh… sorry about that, I was a little drunk.” He snatched the evidence from your hands and tossed it in the bin.

“Now that I’m here… is there anything I can do… you look a little… bloody.”

Dabi shrugged, “It’s not mine. So…don’t worry.”

You were pretty short and so fragile looking, and it wasn’t hard for Dabi to imagine the torment you must have endured growing up. Kids are cruel, he remembers all too well. The world was so hard on people like you. Yet here you stood in front of him. You were kind, brave, and sincere.

All the more reason he wanted to push you away. He knew the second he embraced you, he would soil your innocence. He seemed to leave everything dirtier then when he found it.

You took Dabi’s silence as interest, so you stepped forward and bravely took his hand in yours. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

Dabi shook his head at you, “Why do you even care? I’ve been nothing but cold and rude to you.” He tried to pull his hand away but you held it tight, “I’m not some pet project that you can try and fix. There’s no fixing me. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask me if I’m okay these scars aren’t going to magically heal.”

Your eyes watered with unshed tears, “I can try though… if you’ll let me.”

[jaeminscoffee]

Let me in. (m.)

Pairing- Lee Donghyuck x reader

Genre- Fluff, Smut, tiny bit of angst..?

Word count- 6.03k (ily I'm sorry oof)

Warning- sexual themes suggested, written horribly, slight corruption kink, bestfriend!haechan, slight possessiveness , fingering, praise kink, friends to lovers trope, cliché af. Also definitely not proof read.

Summary- When you let him in, paradise unfolded is an understatement.

(literally the first time i wrote based of a song and it was a really challenging but! fun experience so thank you for requesting this! This also gave me an idea of closing off my previous prompt as starting a song prompt..? )

➳ listen to Ooh La La La by Exo.

When i turn my head

My eyes meet yours

Once again I'm staring at you

That smile is a bit too much for me

It's hard being friends with a girl, so beautiful, so generous and giving and still not having her all for yourself. Or so was how Haechan felt. 

You were so close to him, yet so far. You always looked out for him as though he was your top priority, and that boosted his ego. You were his, to an extent. It's when Haechan thought it'd be the best to have you come over to the party his frat's throwing, wanting you to loosen up a little, he couldn't hold himself back. 

After the last bell to class rang, Haechan immediately started packing his bag, remembering Mark, his other half as you exclaimed had warned him not to be even a second late, saying something along the lines of 'apparently Johnny won't DJ for us unless we actually give him something materialistic' or something.

You watch with a wide smile, your best friend frantically reaching out under his desk to get out all books only to shove them carelessly into his bag, 

"Calm down, Hyuck. You still have 2 hours to reach there and the frat house' barely half an hour away" Haechan let out a curse having dropped around 3 of his books alongside that one pen he carries around, he turned towards you with his eyebrows furrowed.

Seeing you smile wide at him, laughing even at his misery weirdly had his heart skipping beats. It was a normality now to him. It wouldn't take a genius to guess he's whipped for you, everyone, other than you apparently knew about that. 

Filled with an ease leaving me to burn

I can't breathe when i see your eye smile 

It's like you know that's your charm

"Hey don't smile at me like that! What type of a friend are you even?" Haechan exclaimed dramatically, completely ignoring how his heart had started beating just a little faster, breathing growing just a little frantic, face heating up just a little. 

"What?? I'm not supposed to smile now?" you ask with the same exaggeration, lifting your hands up to hit him softly when he got a hold of your hand, pulling you in for a hug,

"Don't ditch me at the party, I'll be waiting, love you bye!" he said it all in one breath, patting your back, placing a peck on your forehead before leaning down and picking up his  bag before dashing out of the door. 

You stood there still, bringing your palms up to your cheeks to calm the heat down. 

It's the thoughts or prejudice that you had that friends are supposed to stay friends that had you constraining your feelings for the lad. You'd be an idiot to have a whole package of what a good, ideal man is supposed to be like right beside you but still not fall for him. That's impossible even, worse than mission impossible.

"Love you too.." you say out low, mostly to yourself as you give yourself a second to calm down before moving forward to pack your own things up, leaving the classroom as soon as you're done to go set things up before the 'party' tonight. 

It didn't take long for you to decide what to wear. Simple, a skirt and a blouse. They were your usual fit anyway and you didn't like all those jazzy, flashing, revealing clothes people usually wear to parties. A pleated white skirt that fell mid thigh, a black and white striped long sleeve turtleneck shirt which you paired with a silver butterfly pendant, ending it with  black suede boots. 

 Sandra, your neighbor ergo a close acquaintance of yours, offered you a ride to the venue, having her boyfriend DJ there. She informed you how she'd be one of the ones to serve the drinks, adorning a shocked expression when you told her you don't drink. 

"Friend's with Lee Haechan yet you don't drink? No way" the elder exclaimed, you let out a laugh, remembering the last time the said boy had forced a drink down your throat, an action he regrets till date. "He might be a heavy drinker, i think the max i can handle is either a glass of wine or a bottle of breezer, nothing more and nothing less" 

You arrive at the frat house relatively faster than usual, thanks to Sandra's amazing driving skills, but you were immediately abandoned as she spotted her boyfriend, Johnny, in the yet to fill room. No doubts you had arrived early as the boys that you recognize as Felix, Han, Renjun, Jaemin, Jeno, Yangyang, Mark, San, and three others you didn't know quite well off, were arranging the red party cups and bottles on the kitchen counter. 

You scan your eyes all around the room to locate your possible crush, well, best friend in the crowd. Eyes landing at the figure leaning against the wall towards the stairs as he spoke to Hyunjin, a white tee tucked into his usual black knee slit skinny jeans topped with a blue checkered oversized t-shirt which was left unbuttoned made him look absolutely breathtaking. Not to mention, his hair was gelled back, with only a few strands let loose to hover over his forehead. Godly. The only word that could describe him. 

Maybe you might've stood there looking at him for way too long, potentially drooling even because he should've felt your intense gaze upon himself, as he turned his head away from the long haired boy, looking all over the place mimicking your actions from before to spot the gaze, landing upon you. 

Haechan physically shudders, how could one look that flawless? He pats his friend on the shoulder, making his way around him with slow strides towards you. It's hard to keep his feelings intact when you look like that, that ethereal, and his hands to himself. That's a catch. He loved seeing you in your plaid skirts. But he hated that it's not just him who gets to see you like that. Haechan wanted you to dress up for him. Look pretty for him. Be pure for him. Be his. And maybe, just maybe, tonight he'd have enough courage to ask you out. 

Your eyes are whispering to me

It's like they're asking me to approach. 

Intoxicated by his looks, being able to see no one but him, you make your way towards him too, replacing the fangirling face with a smile that he adored oh so much. 

"Hyuck! Hey!" you walk faster stepping out of your daze, pulling him into a hug, before hitting his shoulders slightly, "Next time, learn to pick up your phone" you exclaim, pulling away not too far, having his hands rest on top of your hips as you look into his eyes. Haechan mumbled something incoherent under his breath, shaking his head subtly. "sorry sorry, my phone was in the other room and pretty sure you called me when we were checking the music systems" 

"you're lucky Sandra lives like, right next door. I was actually planning on ditching the party and just binge watch the office" you playfully nag at him, hitting his shoulder this time. You push yourself away from him, involuntarily, wanting to cherish his warmth a little longer, but that'd be sketchy.

"Anyways! How do I look?" you wriggle your eyebrows before doing a twirl, which had your skirt slightly lift up a bit, Haechan visibly gulps, stopping you with your hand, "ugly as usual" he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Seeing your face dim down a bit, he lets out a chuckle, "do you really need me to tell you that you're beautiful, doll?" he pulled you in again, lifting his head up when he heard sounds of gagging, a sign of disgust from somewhere around the pair of you. 

" 'do you really need me to tell you that you're beautiful, doll?' oh cut it out you filth." exclaimed a voice in a distorted manner behind you. You turn around to face a senior of yours, a close friend. "Mark!" you extend your hand out to do your infamous handshake, that lasts at least for over 15 seconds that had Haechan roll his eyes. 

"says the filthiest himself" he let out, making you snort in a not so attractive way. "Hey, at least i'm not the one flirting with my best friend here" Mark pointed out, fingers wrapped around the party cup with god knows what drink. "you flirt with anything breathing" you add, laughing as he sends a wink your way. 

"You look stunning, Y/n" "Now who's flirting huh?" Haechan said, suddenly all up his guard. "woaw, not flirting because someone would whoop my ass later, but stating facts is all i did" Mark smirked, turning back as someone screamed out his name, "well I'll catch up later, gotta blast! Byeee!" he let out hurriedly, making his way towards the back of the house.

"I'll go get us some drinks, cranberry? Or lemon?" he asked, knowing the obvious answer. "Cranberry, duh" you reply with sass to which he let out a loud laugh. 

"You got it"

Maybe you believed that it's time you break your own limits, or maybe you just wanted to seem cool to Donghyuck. Whatever the reason was had you drink more than what your tolerance allowed you to. You felt euphoric and sick at the same time. You weren't completely gone just yet, you were still sober, surprisingly. The actual surprise is that Haechan, the usually 'I'll end all drinkers carrier' type of guy, stopped at just a bottle of beer. 

Reaching out to the glass Renjun held out towards you as an offer, you felt your hands being swatted away, making you flinch slightly. 

"That's enough drinks for her tonight" he said, shoving his friends hand away slightly as you whined. "i can handle a drink more" you reply, reaching out again, "no you can't, and no you won't" he insisted, raising his eyebrows at you in a challenging way, wanting to see if you'll oppose him. 

It might've been the intoxicating liquid in your system at the moment, but staring back at Haechan had the bottom of your stomach churning. You look away with the same speed you initiated the eye contact with. 

"You're not my dad.." you mumble, puckering your lips into a small pout as you hear his friends laugh at your slight quarrel. 

"but i am your boy- best friend. And for a fact, i know you'll fall unconscious if you take another drink" Jaemin starts hooting slowly at Haechan's slight slip up.

"Tsk, whatever" you reply, rebelling against him and taking the bottle out of Renjun's hand as he stared at you, amusement clearly evident on his face. 

"Feisty. I like how you don't listen to hyuck, maybe we should be best friends" he let out, holding out his fist to fist bump yours, which you do, sticking your tongue out at your best friend. 

"Okay! Let's play, put a finger down if you have!" Yangyang suggested, eyes scanning all your faces to see if anyone's not feeling the game today. Seeing everyone do nothing but nod, he starts dictating, asking them to put up five fingers. The first person to lose out apparently has to either take shots or confess their deepest secrets. 

The first rounds went well, easy questions which made you feel bored, slight headache striking in, making you rest your head on Haechan's shoulder. Sensing weight on his shoulder, he turned his head towards the side, looking at you with concern, a glint of 'I told you' shining through the orbs. 

"tell me off later, my head hurts real bad" you mumble, soft enough for only him to hear before he could nag at you. Saying nothing else other than shifting closer to you for you to get comfortable he said, "Just sleep, I'll take you home".

The moment you close your eyes after his words, you hear Jeno blurt out the next question, it being his turn to do so. 

"put a finger down if you've ever been head over heels for your best friend", His other friends chuckle, while Jeno smirked at Haechan, too tired to open your eyes to see who put a finger down, you fail to notice Haechan put a finger down, looking down at you all worn out on his shoulder, his circle feigning disgust. 

The game was probably long done, the party might've also ended, you must've fallen asleep because the next time you open your eyes, you find yourself in your best friend's bedroom, still feeling tired. Looking outside the window, seeing it's still dark outside, you turn to the side, flinching just a bit when you find Haechan at the side of the bed, arms folded over the sheets as he rests his head on top of it. It must've been uncomfortable kneeling on the floor for that long. 

You take the chance to look at him properly, well, better than the past god knows how many years into your friendship. You take your time to roam your eyes all over his facials. Gawking at the moles adorning his tanned skin, lifting your fingers up to feather over them. Your hands then move to the scars at each corner of his eyebrows, chuckling as you remember how he got them. 

You brush his dishevelled hair out of his face, the action making Haechan stir in his slumber which had you stop your moments completely. Running your fingers through his hair one last time, about to pull your hands away from him to not wake him up you feel his hands grip your wrist, holding it in place. 

You yelp, not expecting him to be awake, "why did you stop? I was about to fall asleep" he whines out, getting up from the floor, standing to his full height which makes you shift, leaning your back against the headboard to look at him more comfortably. 

"Did you carry me up here?" you asked, voice a little hoarse as the alcohols after effects had your throat burn. "Nope, you just zapped here. Of course I carried you" he replied, masking his flustered look at how you looked, face glowing, eyes hazed and on bed. His bed. 

"Does it hurt for you to reply normally for once..?" you open your eyes a little wider in genuine curiosity 

Oh la la la, please allow me 

Oh la la la, into your imagination 

I'll go right in, so let me in

I'll dance in your eyes 

Oh la la la, the moment our gazes meet. 

Replying is hard, keeping his eyes away from your lips is hard, to stop himself from slowly leaning forward was hard too. You're killing him. The alcohol in his system did nothing more than fuel his desires for you.

It's weird, how one moment, you're whining at your best friend being a sarcastic hoe to how your breath gets caught in your lungs the next moment at the sight of your crush leaning closer to you. 

It's weird how all those thoughts of, 'friends should stay friends' were thrown right out of the window when he was now, just inches away from you, noses grazing each other.

The proximity was that where you could feel his breath fanning your lips. Now that's weird too, weren't you just having a normal conversation? 

Haechan snaps out of it, you're probably drunk. He pulls away just as you close your eyes, ready to bask in the feeling of his lips against yours. 

"I can't.. You'll forget all this by tomorrow, I'll wake you up before class, have some rest." He said, avoiding eye contact as you felt a pang of disappointment hit you. 

That night, all Haechan could think of was your slightly parted lips, eyes fixated on your lips and your slow, shallow, small breath. 

You've never felt awkward around Haechan, neither do you want to feel awkward around him, but each time you see him, all you're reminded of is how close you were to change your friendship into something else. 

On the other hand, Haechan wanted to hit himself for cowering out once again. He was so close to finally making you his. But now all he's left with is a sexual tension so thick that could be cut by a knife. He wanted you. He craved you.

It only started working him up more the day you called him over to your studio apartment for a movie night, ignoring all past events over the week. Them being, Haechan becoming a much touchy friend. He's always been a physical affection shower either ways. 

Haechan complied, arriving at your place with a large bag of Doritos. Greeting you with a huge smile, ignoring the fast beating of his heart when you reciprocate the same expression. 

"Heyyy! Missed me? I know! I missed me too" Haechan said, making his way around you quickly to hide the crimson that took place on his cheeks, not wanting you to see it. 

"I did" you say quietly, closing the door as Haechan made himself comfortable on your couch, having set the chip packet in the kitchen counter. 

He mentally took a note of your outfit, plain black shorts that were a little too short for the sake of his heart not falling right out, and a white shirt, a crop top, to be precise.

"It's your turn to choose the movie" you say, making your way towards the other side of the couch. "Monsters inc?" he answers as you whine, having already regret the choice of giving him the liberty. 

"Hyuck we watched that movie about like, 5 times, when will you get over it?" you ask

"Never so stop whining and watch the movie with me." he replied with the sass you were oh so familiar with, making you roll your eyes. 

Ah, it's going to be a long night. 

You were lost in your own thoughts, not paying attention to the movie much as you remember the night at the frat house. It's impossible to get Lee Haechan out of your mind. It's impossible because you know he has his eyes on you right now. Looking at you, oblivious to the fact that you knew of his gaze. 

"Hyuck.. " you call him out, turning to face him from your side of the couch. Haechan looks away momentarily, flustered as you caught him stare at you. He hums in response, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen. 

"About that night in your room" you start, turning completely, your body facing him as you sit criss cross. Haechan visibly tenses up, thinking you're about to tell him off for crossing the line, "Y/n, about that, i'm- i'm sor-"

"Do you like me?"

Right now, in this moment, the space between us

Is filled with this strong trembling 

Becoming a rhythm and drawing me in

Let your body move to it however you'd like. 

Haechan was caught off guard by your question, blinking, once, twice, even shaking his head to see if he's imagining things, "Huh?" he asked just for confirmation. 

"Do you like me..?" you repeated, slower, heart racing in anticipation as you lean forward a bit, waiting for his reply.

"What are you going to do if I say.. Yes?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he leaned forward a little too. You had the strong urge to want to lean back from the proximity, feeling blood rush up to your cheeks but you stood your ground, wanting to do this right here. Right now. 

"Then I'll continue what we almost started" you exclaim, the smile he loves so much finding its way onto your face.

"Will you? Really?" he asked, scooting closer to you, something about his eyes switching gazes when you lean further, making your shirt come down a bit. You nod, that's when he pulls you forward by your arms, making you let out a sound of surprise as you crash onto his side, looking at him with your eyes widened. 

"Then yes." he whispered after leaning close to your ears, you feel yourself growing hot each passing second. The position is extremely intimate. You pull away to look into his eyes, to spot any signs of all this being nothing more than just a joke. You lose it when he looks at you with a strong gaze, eyebrows slightly raised, lips drawn into a small smile, immediately pressing yours onto his after staring it for way too long.

His hands found their way around your waist, tugging at you slowly, gesturing you to get onto his lap. 

An odd smile that doesn't let on

Seeing through the curiosity driving me on

And sending a sign

You oblige, as your lips move in unison, Haechan shifted in his seat to a better position, man spreading to let you sit better on his lap all while still not letting go of your lips. 

His hands find their way under your crop top, letting his arms wander the bare skin of your back, his cold touch in contrast to your warm body making you gasp. Haechan takes the opportunity of your parted lips to enter your mouth, tongue pressing against yours making you whine. 

You pull away only when you feel your lungs practically begging for a puff of air even, tugging softly at his slightly grown hair, letting out an airy giggle at the sight of your lip color smeared at the corner of his lips. 

"That was way better than all I've imagined it to be" Haechan smiled at you, pressing his forehead against yours, pulling you closer by the hips. You look away from his gaze, "you've imagined kissing me?" you ask softly, playing with the charm hanging off his neck.

"way too many times to keep a count" he replied, placing another peck on your lips, pulling away immediately, laughing as you subconsciously follow his lips. 

He finally let's you press onto his lips once again, groaning as your teeth clash from how fast you were at finding his lips. You whimper when his hands squeeze at your sides.

You jerk forward, testing the waters as you move your lips from his lips, to his neck, peppering the skin with kisses, giving extra attention to those moles you adored that were scrawled all over his skin, occasionally nibbling at the spot you left a wet trail at. 

It's like you're telling me to open the door

To your slightly open heart and come right in

Please allow me 

Into your imagination 

I'll go right in, so let me in

I'll dance in your eyes

The moment our gazes meet. 

He sighs in content  at the feeling of your plush lips pressed against his skin, "I won't be able to control myself if you keep going, doll" you continue your ministration.  Then don't" you say, trying to sound as sultry as possible. Having waited so long to have Donghyuck as more than just friends had you desperate for any sort of contact from his side. 

You could sense his slight hesitation, maybe he didn't want to rush things, maybe he just couldn't get himself to do it, or maybe, he was just nervous.  

Should I really try making a move now? 

What should be the first thing I say? 

The moment I hesitate, thinking it over

You get up and walk away. 

You stand up, from his lap, looking at his eyes, nodding so softly that he'd miss it if he'd blink as you make your way towards your bedroom, smiling. You tug at your shirt, slowly, above your head, not daring to turn to look back at Donghyuck's reaction, a triumphant look washing over your facial as you hear him growl with that honey voice of his. 

He must've stared at your back a little too long, seeing your hair cover the top half of your torso as you turned towards your bedroom, looking at him one last time before entering the room which was illuminated with just your fairy lights. 

Even as I look at your bold back from far away

Your slow pace is telling me to follow

Girl just tell me what you like

It's like you're telling me to hurry

"she'll be the death of me.. " he ruffled his hair, before getting up to walk down the same pathway as you. 

Walking into your bedroom, Haechan was more than sure that the sight before him was the most ethereal sight he'd seen his entire life. 

You sat by the foot of the bed, adorned in only your black lace bra, the black shorts, and your hair left open in all glory. He swallows the lump forming in his throat, mood switching so fast because the boy you walked away from, Lee Haechan, the one hesitant to take it this far, was now replaced with the Lee Haechan, walking towards you with long, confident strides. 

As he comes to stand in front of you, he bends down, snaking one of his arms around your waist, pulling you up and close to his body. 

"tell me, have you been dreaming about me just the way I've dreamt about you?" he leans closer to the nape of your neck, running the tip of his nose along the unexpectedly sensitive skin up to your ears, nibbling at the earlobe. 

"Have you waited for all this just as much as i have? Tell me, princess" he rasps out as you place your hands gently by the belt loop of his jeans. 

Please allow me

Into your reality 

Not trusting your voice, you nod, wanting to feel his lips against yours once again but Haechan held onto you with a firm grip, 

"Tell me, baby. Words, those are the keys. Use your words" He moved from nibbling onto your earlobe to marking territory onto your skin that had you jerking forward, further into his body. 

I'll approach you, so hold onto me

Tell me that you were waiting

The moment i reached you

You huff out, opening your mouth the exact moment he took hold of your chin with a gentle grip, looking at your orbs with so much expectation, so much adoration, so much love, so much lust. 

"I've waited a long time too." you start 

"I waited for so long; the day in your room, during that night, I was so happy when you approached me, but then you pulled away. You made me wait enough Hyuck, please let me feel you now? I want you. No. I need you" 

You didn't pay attention to his heaving chest, or how his eyes were turning into a whole darker shade of ebony, instead, stood on your tip toe and engulfed his slightly puffy lips with yours. 

Haechan didn't deny the kiss, dying to take you quick there itself when the first sentence left your lip, but he wanted to take it slow, he wanted to show you how much he's waited for this too. How much he likes you and he wanted to make sure you felt it from each action of his. 

He urged you to move backwards, closer towards the edge of the bed, not breaking the kiss even for a second, his hands securing around your waist as he slowly bends down to place you on the quilt. 

His hands make their way back, fiddling with the hook of your bra as he breaks the kiss with one last peck at the corner of your lips. "i need you too, doll. I need you just as much as you need me, maybe even twice as much" he mumbles against the soft skin of your collarbone, tapping at your back with the tip of his finger once he had the hooks undone to pull the material away from your body. 

Shyness suddenly overpowers all lust, you bring up an arm to cover your now exposed breast while Haechan is busy throwing your clothing behind him. 

Turning around, facing you, he smiles at you, gently prying your hand away from your chest leaving your torso bare naked in front of him which had you shut your eyes with embarrassment. 

"Look at me, baby." Donghyuck urges you. 

You give yourself a second, inhaling sharp as you flutter your eyes open, looking straight into his eyes. "You have no reason to hide yourself from me" he pulls away after placing a peck in the valley of your chest. He tugs at the edge of his hoodie, pulling it over his head before discarding it behind.

"Here. Now we both are half naked" he smiles at you as you mirror his expression. 

Donghyuck wasn't all that built, he wasn't not built either. Ever since Renjun started forcefully dragging Haechan to the gym, he'd lost that baby stomach that you loved to poke at during class just to annoy him, now replaced with very faint ab lines which, you were sure you'd grow a liking for pretty soon.

You whimper at the feeling of his lips graze over hardened nipples, jolting forward when he lifts hands from above your hips to your neck where he'd previously left his mark, tracing the reddish purple/brownish skin. 

He latches his lips onto one nib, swirling his tongue around the hardened muscle, his free hand making its way south, waiting for any signs of protest before dragging the short down, shifting his attention over to the untended nipple. 

"beautiful.. " he mumbles against your wet nipple, blowing onto it later, all sensation making you feel ecstatic.

"Hyuck, I need-..need you" you choke out.

"I know, princess. But we need to prepare you a little, hm?" he lets out, voice a few octaves deeper than usual, as he finally tugs your panties down your leg, letting it slide itself onto the floor.

Haechan looks at you, expression blissful from all the attention you're getting. You quickly nod, looking at him giving him a hundred percent access to do you however he likes when you notice his eyes silently ask for consent. 

He feathers his thumb over your clit, smiling at how responsive you are to his touches. He slowly starts drawing circles onto the sensitive bud, pressing his lips to the side of your face, whispering sweet nothings into your ears. 

"Haechan!" you whine out, his words only adding to the pleasure. Experimentally, he moves his finger down to your slit, feeling your slick wetness coat his fingers making him let out a throaty sound of satisfaction. 

He did this to you. 

That had his ego boost shoot right up the roof. He let the tip of his middle finger poke at your entrance, cooing at you while pressing it inside of you. "So wet, baby. All for me?" he questions, slowly moving his wrist back and forth.

You nod frantically, "Hm? Words?" he pushes, slightly picking up the speed. 

"All for you, H-haechan. It's.. It's -all for you" you cling onto his forearm, as he coax you closer to your orgasm. "That's right baby, it's all for me" he presses his lips against your cheeks once again.

He adds in another finger when he knows you're close, speeding up even further, curling the digits in you which had your eyes roll back. 

Your orgasm washes over you with so much intensity the moment he engulfs your nipple once again. Slowly helping you ride out your orgasm, only removing his fingers from within you when you started to writhe from overstimulation. 

"You did so well doll, can you take one more?" he asked sweetly as you calmed down. That's when you realized how selfless he'd been, now looking down at the dent on his jeans which looked a little painful. 

You get up after nodding as you watch Haechan unbuckle his belt, removing the jeans along with his boxer, adding it to the pile of clothes behind him, you lean forward, "Your turn" you tell as Haechan's face contorts into confusion. 

Finally realizing what you mean, he smiles at you, pulling you into another loving kiss as he runs a hand down your messed up hair. "Maybe another time? I just want to feel you around me now, princess, i can't wait longer" 

With that, he made you lay back down, "condom?"

"It's fine, I'm on pills" you rub your hand up and down his hands that were beside you, balancing his body above yours. The thought of going raw inside you made Haechan's member twitch. 

He runs his member up and down your wet sex, coating it with your essence before letting the head poke at your entrance as it expands with each inch he enters in, the wetness making it so much easier to enter. 

He lets out a groan that sounded so much like a whine, finally having been able to feel your walls perfectly fit around his shaft. He leans down, now balancing himself on his elbows as you finally give him the go ahead sign. 

He interlocks your lips with his as he slowly starts moving his hips into yours. "You feel so good for me, doll. Fuck." he rasps out against your lips. 

He had to hang onto the last of his rationality to not ram into you, you just felt that good around him, and he felt so good inside of you. 

Haechan slowly picks up the pace, now moving a little faster against your hips as you reduce down to a moaning mess, chains of his name leaving your mouth continuously.

"Hyuck, i..I'm close" you moan out, the little sensitivity you'd left from your previous orgasm slightly striking in. Your moans encouraged Haechan to go faster.

Testing the water, he pull moves back completely to a point where only his tip's inside of you, "Yeah?"  he questioned while slamming back inside of you, making his tip brush against your soft spot which coaxed you closer to your high. 

"Yes-" you whimper, when he finally let go and snapped, desperate to chase his high. The new pace having him constantly hit the pleasure spot. 

You start clenching around his member, not wanting to orgasm before him. "Fuck baby, me too. I'm close too" 

"Haechan im.. I'm coming-" you let out a long loud moan as you feel yourself being thrown towards your edge, face contorting into that of pure bliss, as the constant clenching helped drag him towards his high. 

"Shit, Y/n" he immediately pulled out, feeling his own high wash over his, pumping the wet shaft a few more times before spurting ribbons of his essence all over your lower abdomen. He kept going until he felt himself grow soft in his grip. 

He clashes down beside you once wiping his hands down on the sheets which you most definitely have to wash the next day. 

"Don't fall asleep on me baby, i want to ask you something" Haechan lets out quickly as he finds you blinking slowly, most probably out of exhaustion. 

"I'm not.." you hoarse out. 

"I mean it when i say, i like you, Y/n. Heck, i think I'm in love with you" he starts flipping so that his back was on the sheets with you on top of him. 

"So.. Will you.. Will you be my-"

"Yes!" you reply fast, suddenly having sparks of energy flow through you. 

"you didn't let me complete my question though" he chuckles, pressing a peck onto the crown of your head. 

"Yes. I will be your girlfriend!" you make yourself a little clearer this time around. Girlfriend. His. 

"That.. Means.. You're mine?" he asks, unsure if he should ask so or not. 

You nuzzle further into his chest, tightening your grip around his bare torso. 

"I'm yours"

Now i approach you,

You and I have grown closer.

[the-gay-prometheus]

Breaking out of my void to write an introspective and probably incomprehensible post because I'm thinking and I'm going to make that everyone else's problem unfortunately.

I think a lot of the time when we think of Frankenstein AUs where the creature does end up finding friendship or family or companionship of some kind, it ends up being an instant fix. Or, more like, his past traumas might, likely will, and certainly should still affect him, but the companionship and friendship and family he finds gives him some sense of comfort and that's all there is to it. Or maybe that's just how I was thinking of it as some idealized version of the truth.

Reality is a little more nuanced than that when you've lived the entire first portion of your life having absolutely no one you can really rely on or talk to, and especially when everyone who you came across in the first portion of your life either actively tried to hurt you, actively tried to ignore your existence, or both.

And I think I'm experiencing that right now. I'm not used to having people that actually give a shit about me. I'm not used to having people who just like me as a person. And I'm certainly not really used to genuinely liking others in any sense of the word - which sounds awful considering I've at least had one or two friends, and one or two whom I thought were more than friends - but even in those cases I don't think I ever really genuinely cared about them until just recently as I've only started to regain some hope in finding my place in humanity.

So all of this. All of this is strange to me. And at first it was so incredibly alluring, felt so wonderful, so great to find a community of people out there that actually enjoy my company or my content or both. It felt so great to find some people I genuinely liked. And now months have passed, it's nearing on a year, and everything is crashing down - not because anyone said or did anything, but just because the strangeness of it is starting to set in.

This is the part nobody talks about or tells you about. How suddenly you feel like either everyone already secretly hates you, or you have to make them hate you before they get the chance to find some flaw of yours to pick apart and abandon you by. There is this horrible, nagging anxiety, this desire to just disappear and go back to the relative safety of loneliness. At least the solitude is familiar. It's not comfortable, but it's familiar. When you let yourself be loved, there's always a chance that something will turn that love into hatred - something beyond your control that you can't foresee. So either you retreat, or you lash out in whatever way you know how because if you try to make them hate you then at least it was your power and your choice.

And yet, within all of that, you got a taste of something greater. Caught a glimpse of something beautiful. You've suddenly become used to a certain lifestyle with certain luxuries and you want to cling to that with everything you have. There's a push to stay, to continue to be likable and to continue to like others, all while something else inside is trying to pull you away. It's tearing you in two because you want to live this new life and leave the past behind and yet the past is so loud and so persistent that it seems you'll never be able to let it go.

I wonder if, maybe, the Creature would feel that too after a few months or so. I wonder how long it would take before that comfort suddenly slips into this internal war between wanting to live the life he was meant to live and living the life he was forced to live. How would he react? Would he run away? Would he hide? Would he isolate himself? Would he be prone to lashing out? Would he draw vent art and curl up in bed and shut the world out for as long as he can stand it (...or is that just me)?

I guess what I'm saying is. Things get better but sometimes in getting better they suddenly get worse again. And I guess that's normal. I didn't know that. I didn't know liking and being liked could be so scary and so alienating. Maybe I should have known that. I want to say at least this experience will help me write a more nuanced characterization of the Creature but... I don't want his story to end in this kind of agony so...

Surely there's a way out of this anxiety that I'm just not seeing. Is it introspection? Is it self affirmation? Is it asking for validation? Asking for confirmation that there's no need to run away and that people still care? Or is it just accepting that maybe things will go back to the way they used to be. That maybe you're destined to be hated and that maybe you should just... Get used to it and be happy with solitude - go against the entirety of your nature just for some vague, superficial sense of peace.

I wish I had the answers myself. I don't want to run away. I don't want to feel like I need to make others despise me. I don't want this to be the way my story ends either.

[generallybarzy]

hey there, stranger. i

SERIES MASTERLIST

summary: when you mention being lonely, Rebecca Seidenberg sets you- their babysitter- up on a blind date with Mat Barzal.

an: hi, i’ve been mia for a few days now due to some stuff, you all know what happened, but anyway here’s something to make my absence better! i know there might be some details that don’t make sense irl but just roll with it please I love the strangers to lovers trope so much. 

word count: 1.6k

Okay, you were lonely.

Ever since moving to New York for your first year of college, endless amounts of studying and work and more little jobs on the side to make ends meet living in the big city had taken up most of your spare time, leaving few opportunities for dating. Even when you did go on dates, they rarely lasted long enough to be called relationships, and not once have you had a serious relationship. This was your 20s, you were supposed to be out there living your life, weren’t you? Stupidly falling in love and getting your heart broken and learning along the way. But instead, you were busy trying to focus on that degree, leaving any hope of a love life behind.

Of course, there was nothing wrong with focusing on your degree, it was a degree you'd been looking forward to getting and you had been lucky enough to get accepted to your dream school, but it would be nice to have a significant other you could hold at the end of the day. Right? None of your many, many dates ended well, though, and though you were still young and didn't need to worry, you were lonely and felt late to the party as all your friends were falling in and out of love. It may have been dumb, but you were beginning to believe you’d never find the right guy.

And that’s where Rebecca Seidenberg stepped in to help.

She was a friend of your mom's and aunt's, and, though you didn't know her personally when you first moved out, word had spread through your family and to family friends, and she reached out to let you know that if you ever needed help in the big city, she would be there. She had been practically a mother figure to you since last year when you moved to New York all alone at 19 years old. She and her hockey player husband lived on Long Island with their children, just a quick commute from your city campus, and apparently, your mom had been in constant contact with her since your big move, checking in and asking someone to watch out for her little girl. You got a call one day asking if you needed any extra cash because, according to your mom, you were good with kids, and the two could use a babysitter for the night.

So, while you resided in a dorm room in the city and worked on campus between classes, you spent a lot of your Friday nights and weekends out on Long Island babysitting for the Seidenbergs when they went out on date nights.

They all quickly came to love you, especially the children, and you found it worth it to spend your weekends with them rather than out on any shitty dates or getting drunk at some stupid, dangerous frat party like a lot of college students. You loved their family, you loved all the genuine love, and could only hope that one day you'd have a relationship with that much love in it. You didn't like to admit how much you wanted a boyfriend, maybe it had something to do with your own insecurity, but you didn't want to think you needed a man. Maybe it had something to do with your fears, too. You didn’t want to get messed up again. You didn't need a man, but how great would it be to have someone there at the end of the day to curl into and rant to and love? It would be amazing. Okay, maybe you were a hopeless romantic. But you’d never admit it.

But about a month ago, as Rebecca was talking to you about a date Dennis was taking her on next week, you were feeling particularly romantic and hopeless. Your second year in college had just started up again, and you had returned to New York from your hometown to settle back into your lonely dorm room. All your friends were either meeting up with their partners after spending the summer apart, or dealing with the loneliness of having to be separate from them for the upcoming year, but you had nobody like that, and just let it slip.

"I wish I could find a guy who loves me like that." You lamented after commenting on how the Seids looked at each other with absolute heart eyes. "It's starting to feel like I'm just destined to be alone."

"What?" She looked at you incredulously, laughing a little as if she couldn't believe you hadn't found anyone. "You're still young, you have plenty of time!"

"Yeah, realistically I know, but I've been on so many dates, and none of them are ever successful.” You groaned, maybe a little dramatically as you thought back to all the dates you’d had since moving out of your parent’s house last year and coming to New York. “And all my friends have, like, solid relationships, or are at least messing around, and I can’t even do that. I feel so far behind.”

“There’s no timeline on love.” She spoke wisely, like the motherly figure you’d been missing. “You’re not falling behind. Anyway, the chances of you meeting the love of your life this young are pretty slim.”

“I know, and I’m not looking for the love of my life. Just… someone, you know?” You thought for a moment, just of having someone to smile with, to hug and to kiss after a hard day. You hadn’t had a true boyfriend since your last year of high school, and that hadn’t ended well. You had fallen hard for the wrongest person in the world, and he had done nothing but hurt you for months. It had definitely messed you up a bit, but you wanted nothing more than to forget about that whole ordeal and come out of your shell again, to love again. “I don't know if I'm being too picky or my standards are too high or something, but I just attract the wrong types of guys."

"Hmm." She gave it thought for a moment, and you knew she was going to work some of her motherly magic. "Well, what are you looking for?"

"I don't know. Just someone who's genuine? Someone who's really passionate and has a big heart. And funny, the guys I date always have the blandest humor and it makes dates so awkward and I'd have to force laughter. Someone who actually cares. I don't think that's too much to ask for, is it?"

"It's definitely not." She laughed for a moment. "I actually know someone who fits in those categories really well."

"Really?"

"If you'll let me, I think I could get him to go on a date with you."

"No, no way, blind dates aren't my thing."

"What's your thing? Dating apps?" You laughed at the playful chirp, but unfortunately, it was true. "Come on, I know it'll go well, even if you don't end up together. He's a great guy!"

"Alright, fine!" You laughed a bit, at both how excited she was and how excited you were to meet this guy she spoke so highly of. "It better be worth it."

"Trust me, you'll love him."

And that's how you ended up here, sitting all alone in the corner of a little coffee shop in Brooklyn, fiddling with the strings coming loose at the sleeves of your oversized sweater. It had been getting chillier out in the past few October weeks, and even though it was cozy and warm inside, you kept your sweater on for comfort, so you had something to fidget with and calm your nerves.

You were so nervous, you were overthinking everything you were doing. Were you dressed okay? Jean, a cute turtleneck with a loose sweater thrown over top, a cute little necklace- too casual? Not casual enough? Was your hair a wreck? You’d thrown it up in a cute bun but had it become a wreck since you walked here through the breeze? Your makeup was simple, but had it covered up the fact that you’d been breaking out due to the stress of your recent surge in classwork? You had already ordered a drink but immediately rethought it. Was it rude to order before he showed up?

As much as you trusted Mrs. Seidenberg, you couldn’t help the nagging feeling that this date would go horribly. He would be here any minute, you were sure of it. You could feel it.

And you were right.

The door to the coffee shop rattled open and in stepped a man who quickly drew your attention away from everybody else. In dark jeans, a tee, and a nice-looking black bomber jacket, he didn’t really stand out, but there was something about him- his aura, the way he held himself, that made him so appealing. That immediately drew your eyes to him. He had dark hair that looked soft to the touch and made you want to run your fingers through it, and his brows were furrowed above searching eyes as he looked around the room, making you think that maybe he was looking for someone. Maybe he was looking for you. Maybe it wasn't too much to hope that this man was your blind date. And the moment his eyes fell on you- the only person sitting all alone in this cafe- your eyes locked. Only then did you realize you’d been staring. His eyebrows quirked up a little bit and you saw a little smile start to pull at the corners of his lips. As he approached your table, you realized your prayers were answered.

He moved in long strides, almost gracefully towards you, and you were so mesmerized with how he approached you that you almost missed his beautiful voice when he spoke to you.

"(Y/N)?"

Breathless, you smiled. "Hey there, stranger."