#i just realized that people can potentially see what i post

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

🍽 Sat 4 July 🎆

Niall said yesterday that no, he probably wouldn't go to the pubs when they reopened today. Good, said fans, that would be a horrible idea and good for you behaving in a socially responsible manner! Well that's what assumptions get you huh, apparently he just meant he had other plans: he instead attended an "end of lockdown" dinner party. Feel free to join the many of us who have Feelings about this choice! We'll be at home socializing with people we live with. And! Niall and Harry have both been submitted to be considered to maybe be nominated for the Emmys! Harry's episode of SNL and both Harry and Niall's episodes of The Late Late Show were submitted in the Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series category: yes, our Harry could potentially win a prestigious award for the Sara Lee Bread sketch which frankly is what it deserves but still, 2020 am I right? It just isn't realistic!

And I realize that calling this 1D news is a REACH but this is by far the wildest thing happening today soooo whatever, there's a link however flimsy and I'm running with it! An internet sleuth speculated that Jeffrey Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell (implicated in the serial abuse of dozens of women and underage girls), recently arrested after eluding capture for a year, may have been hiding out prior to her arrest with Yolanda Hadid! At the Pennsylvania farm! Gigi took to twitter to angrily refute the entire thing. Did Zayn encounter this terrible woman? We'll probably never know.

[anatthema-art]

Tumblr Men Taxonomy

Ever since the rise of the Spamton fanbase i’ve been seeing a lot of debate on if spamton should be considered a Tumblr Sexyman or not and i think everyone saying he’s NOT is correct, but i’ve been talking with some friends and have realized a pattern in what i’d like to lovingly call a new “branch” of tumblr men/people because it’s an exceedingly common character archetype i feel us as a userbase need to acknowledge and treat separate from your oncelers and the like.

These guys? they’re all classic Tumblr Sexymen right? well, by consulting the primary sources  talking with my friends who were on the website and in the fandoms during the golden age of tumblr men, i’ve realized a massive part of sexyman culture people FORGET is that their appeal doesn’t just come from them being lanky bastard twinks. (we’ll get to sans later)

Their main appeal from a fandom perception is their actual or perceived HUMANITY. That sounds a little weird considering half these characters arent even human, but hear me out. Characters like the onceler and komaeda from dangan ronpa are just... dudes? Like they’re fucked up dudes, but they’re just GUYS. Sans too, even though not a human person, is still a very ORDINARY guy underneath the fandom-imposed angst. the appeal of these characters came from people seeing a spark of relatability and normalcy underneath all their Issues(tm) and fanwork, while portrayed as the “I can fix him” mentality came from a genuine place of exploration into what these people could BE

characters who AREN’T human, like bill cipher, wheatley, and dare I say the goddamn clock from DHMIS were QUITE LITERALLY humanized to explore a potential reality where they COULD be more of... PEOPLE despite their human nature. If they had become popular in THIS day and age, dare i say they fall into our SECOND category more (and as these interpretations of them are fanon i dare say they DO double class considering the disconnect between these common fan headcanons and fans which prefer the source material versions)

and then you get to characters like alastor or jack frost, who were once entirely human, then becoming inhuman entities, and that small bit of something left in there provides intrigue to explore them as people beyond their fun personality exteriors. 

Now, here’s where I’d like to propose the divide. Some of these characters gained less fan notoriety than others (especially because toby fox seems to be the main supplier of these guys) but they have often been labelled TSMs when I see a pretty distinct through line between them, with a little bit of wiggle room

The name i’ve been lovingly calling these guys is Disney Channel Eldritch Horrors. I am very open to new propositions however as the name implies that they are both from the Disney Channel and eldritch horrors which isn’t always correct. I haven’t found a similar name that conveys the same VIBES yet, so if anyone has any ideas for a better name i’d love to hear it. basically, the gist of this trope is that we have some weird little guys who are probably inhuman nightmares who’s appeal comes from sheer force of personality. this is where you get your weird little clown men and goofy loveable abominations. (i feel like some homestuck characters might fit this bill but i know absolutely nothing about any of them)

some of them MAY have some sort of tragedy involved in their backstory (spamton, flowey) but the main appeal of liking the character i’d argue comes more from the sheer strength of their characterization, rather than that stuff. Spamton is the closest to breeching this, but i feel for spamton fans i see way more posts about how people wanna throw him in a microwave than discussing the deep ramifications of his backtory (plus, he wasn’t ever a human person either.) Flowey on the other hand, the fandom has split asriel and him SO far as to be entirely separate characters despite the divide being less of a thing in canon, and people who are fans of just flowey tend to focus less on his backstory. 

now you’ll see i’ve also included discord in here, which is to demonstrate that i don’t think the body type for these guys has to exclusively be “some little shaped dude”, because discord tows that line, but his appeal still stays in that sheer force of personality, and he’s also very much NOT a human being. as mentioned earlier, the canon versions of wheatley and that stupid clock also probably fit this bill more. Bill Cipher is where i see this divide the strongest, between the canon character and fan reactions and he’s such a popular character that his fanbase CAN be split between these two camps i think. 

disney channel eldritch horrors i think, can be classified more on creator intent with their existence rather than fan reaction like a classic TSM. some of these characters gained more popularity than others but there’s a very specific crowd who forms to liking these characters over the TSM variety.

now, one last proposal in taxonomy, is that the twink body type vs lil shaped guy is an indicator of which category a character may fall into but it is not the primary factor and can be overridden by personality 

sans is a weird lil guy in classic toby fox fashion, but i think his status as a Tumblr Sexyman should not be questioned since his fandom was the closest thing to the replication OF the onceler fandom and his appeal was very steeped in his more darker aspects of the character. fizzarolli on the other hand, is very much a lanky beanpole dude, but he also is a stupid chaotic jester man who’s sheer VIBES overpower his body type and his popularity is for that personality. this is a rare phenomenon, but i realized it to be the case through some friends’ OCs, as calling some characters “tumblr sexymen” felt incorrect the deeper i thought about it

so uh... thank you for coming to my ted talk? i have a weird fascination with fan culture around these two specific camps of characters and i felt that i wasn’t able to express why i loved my weird jester men so much until now, as i felt my attachment to them felt a little conflated with a different TYPE of fan culture, and so i spewed my word vomit into something somewhat coherent. 

[astrobydalia]

Observations pt 12

Masterlist

Happy St. Patrick's day!

Work by astrobydalia

Venus in the 4th house come from wealthy families, I’ve met people with this placement whose families owned lands, businesses, etc.

Being a Virgo is NEVER being permanently satisfied with something you have done 😭🤡 Even when you are proud of your work eventually you look back at it and realize how shitty it is and then feel embarrassed for ever being proud of it like bruh. yes im ranting

Pisces placements (12th housers too) really are specially fond of either music or poetry/literature, they either love listening/reading it or they’ve felt at some point drawn to making it

Out of all water placements, I’ve noticed Cancer placements are the most artistic, the ones who MAKE their own art. I believe this is due to their cardinal nature, moreover I already mentioned in a past post that Cancer and Aries are the most common sun signs I've found in painters.

I’ve noticed Pisces placements are creative but they are more about enjoying art than making art, while Scorpio placements usually feel more drawn to the occult than art. (Again this is just a GENERAL observation, any sign can be artistic it depends on the chart)

Natives with mostly easy aspects in their chart (specially grand trine) and little to no tense aspects are the definition of wasted potential

Gemini and Pisces risings are the ultimate copycats…

Natives with Neptune harshly aspecting Mars or ASC really believe a fairy god mother is just going to come knocking at their door and fix their life... I'm sorry but I constantly see these natives making excuses to not get up and get their shit together it's frustrating to watch.

^^^Also unless chart says otherwise these natives tend to have submissive personalities

Ruler of the 4th house in the 1st house indicates the native is either an only child or they were the child with the most protagonism among their siblings

Natives with Mars influence in their moon (Aries moon, Scorpio Moon or Moon aspecting Mars) are to some extent emotionally unstable and attitudes like mood swings, extreme reactions or hypersensitivity are very common.

I’ve noticed natives with ASC ruler in the 12th house are extremely melancholic and have a very melancholic outlook towards life

Virgo moon/Jupiter are some of the most pessimistic people I’ve ever seen honestly. They're the type to shatter others' and their own dreams in the name of being "realistic", they just focus on the obstacles and the reasons they shouldn't or can't (lacking mentality). It's like they low-key don't believe things can’t be better so they conform to mundane reality and they HATE change

Your Sun sign and house is actually VERY telling of the type of profession/work enviroment that is best suited for you (Sun = where and how you thrive/shine and therefore become successful). It can also tell you HOW you can succeed at your job

I've been binge watching crime documentaries for a while now and is it just me or all criminals are Aquarius Suns? lol it's just what I've seen take it with a grain of salt

For natives who have their chart ruler retrograde, it takes extra time and experience for them to learn all their life lessons, they’re the ceos of getting trapped in their own ways and evolving seems to be hard for them

^^^Also they’re the type of people who struggle to follow in situations where people would normally catch up immediately but at the same time they are good at picking up on bizarre things and can be very insightful people

Aries and Gemini placements really thrive in pop culture

End Game by Taylor Swift can easily be the anthem of every Scorpio mars out there

Unless they have Cancer placements or other 4th house placements, you will never hear someone who has Pluto in the 4th house talk about their past or their backstory or their family. Like legit these people hardly even mention their relatives not even casually and they don't want other people talking about them either

I’ve noticed Capricorn venus natives hate lazy days. Self-care for them means to have their shit together and to be productive

Aquarius moons will tell you about their most painful trauma in detail with a completely straight face... like, bruh

Fixed moons hate being wrong

Mutable moons hate not knowing something

Cardinal moons hate not getting what they want

Mars in the 12th house/Mars in Pisces are the CEOs of being underestimated. They are as powerful as Scorpio mars imo but in a way that’s very subtle so people often overlook them (in comparison Scorpio mars’ power is intense and palpable to others)

Aries placements always try SO hard to be edgy like they're the type of person who wants to always portray themselves as "real”. This is usually not an act tho they are genuinely like but they always try so hard to make it known… (the reason is because aries is all about affirming individuality)

As a water moon I find other water moons to be incredibly draining tbh, let me know if you relate

I have mostly seen Scorpio, Aries and Sagittarius moons being obsessed with rock/hard-rock at some point of their life

Virgos always use themselves as examples of how things should be done

I've noticed men with Venus in Capricorn are pretty sexist? I mean, they are impeccably respectful of women but a lot of times they can have a condescending/patronizing attitude towards women... also they low-key believe in gender roles, but again this is just my experience

Women with venus in Capricorn on the other hand have sugar mommy/milf energy

Men with fixed sun/moon (specially moon) have a BIG ego! Like I know god complex is a fixed sign thing we all know that but this is so obvious in men, like most of them are pretty cool and well liked tbh but also so smug and entitled

Work by astrobydalia

[gay-otlc]

I've already mentioned this in the general I Kissed Shara Wheeler screaming post but I'm going to talk more about how much I love the execution of Smith's gender identity because everything about it was so well done?

First of all, I was very happy to see some more diverse nonbinary representation! More nonbinary rep is always good to have, and I love Ash's character a lot, but they're a bit of a stereotype. I'd like to reiterate no hate to Ash, I love them, but they are assigned female, short hair, weird earrings, they/them pronouns, on TikTok. Which is fairly standard, though in no way bad.

Smith, though. A genderqueer character who's assigned male at birth, a definite rarity even in queer fiction. Football player, typically masculine build, doesn't use they/them pronouns.

I like how he and Ash coexist in the same book, and they're both nonbinary (or some sort of non-cis), and the book is really just telling us there's no one way to be nonbinary. Fantastic. Shoutout to Casey McQuiston for giving us this.

The scene where we found out Smith maybe wasn't cisgender after all was also fantastic, potentially my favorite scene in the book. The whole experience of "well I feel like that and I'm not queer" and then later realizing your queer is so relatable and an experience I think a lot of queer people share. As someone who has absolutely done that multiple times, Smith experiencing that Oblivious Queer moment made me laugh.

Ash's explanation of how traditionally feminine interests =/= being a girl, and short hair =/= being a boy, was a good and also fairly realistic way of separating gender identity and expression. I don't think most people in real life will use the unicorn thing, but people do talk about hair. It didn't feel forced.

The way Smith described dysphoria was also great. Sometimes it is looking at your body and hating, loathing, it should be the other binary sex, but sometimes it's not- sometimes it's "I wish it was different but I guess I can deal with it." And wearing baggy clothes to try to imagine your body is different? Very relatable.

"You know... if being a guy feels like something you have to do, like it's an obligation or something..." Ash says carefully. "Maybe think about that." This line is probably getting so many readers to question their genders. Honestly, reading something like this would have been my genderqueer awakening if I hadn't been awakened already.

In the burn pile, Smith's multiple attempts at answering the prompt "what is a moment in your life that you felt truly yourself," and the way he struggled with finding a time he felt truly himself, was a painfully common queer experience.

The football response to that prompt was good, but I adored the one about feeling endless, like the Holy Spirit. Queering religion and using it to feel closer with your gender. Very glad McQuiston didn't take the "I'm queer so fuck being religious I guess" route, because that is fairly common, the "I'm queer and religious and they enhance one another" mindset is nowhere near explored enough.

Smith also wears his letterman jacket all the time, even in eighty degree heat, which Chloe puts down to "jock flexing," but reading that scene after finding out Smith wears that jacket to cope with dysphoria makes the reader see this fashion choice of his in a very different way. I see what McQuistion did there.

I didn't expect Smith to end up being genderqueer (though I definitely called the thing with Rory), but I'm so glad he is, because that whole subplot was beautiful and I clearly have a lot of thoughts on that, but I'll shut up now.

[fakecrfan]

Still laughing about your Jon Sims on reddit making AITA posts. Do you have any ideas for what events he'd write about?

I think Jon mostly comments on other people's post but also I can see him posting things on the sub on occasion. Such as--

AITA For not telling my ex I was kidnapped?

Around a year ago I (30sM) got into trouble with the law (I was later cleared of all charges, not really important to this story) and had to crash at my ex's (30sNB) place. I lived with her for a few months and we had a few mild disagreements during it, mostly related to my job. She was worried that my work environment was a "cult" (her words), that it was feeding into my obsessive tendencies, and that it was causing me to isolate myself and push others away. She initially didn't want me bringing any work into her apartment because of this, but after a conversation decided it was fine. Still, she repeatedly expressed concerns about the self-isolation and when I got cleared and moved out she asked me to stay in contact, which I agreed to.

Anyway, shortly after that I got kidnapped for a month (long story, not important). When I came back there was a lot to sort out, then a week later I realized that I hadn't contacted her to tell her what happened. I decided to draft a message apologizing later. Unfortunately work got very busy and I just kept forgetting. When I did remember, I just didn't know what to say. I didn't think it would be a good idea to let her know what had actually happened, because then she would have been needlessly worried. But also I couldn't think of a suitable cover story that would explain things without it sounding like I was making excuses for ghosting her on purpose. So I kept delaying until it was almost a month afterwards (so almost 2 months since we had spoken.)

Eventually she called me. A mutual friend who works with me, M, had casually mentioned I got back a month ago. My ex called me up and asked why I hadn't called when I had gotten back. She said that she'd thought I was dead after the trouble I had gotten into last time, and that it was thoughtless of me to extend that grief and worry for an extra month. She sounded pretty upset, and I have to admit I haven't texted her since then because I think it would probably just upset her more.

AITA? Edit: Since people keep asking, yes the kidnapping and the legal trouble were both related to my job. I won't say more about it than that.

Top comment:

KitKatastrophe Dude, It sounds like you have bigger problems than potentially being an asshole.

[blindbeta]

Trope Discussion: Blind Characters Covering Their Eyes

The majority of the projects I am asked to beta include blind characters who cover their eyes. Modern characters wear sunglasses. Other characters wear blindfolds for older settings. The story usually justifies the decision in some way, but I always ask: why?

I also neglected to include this in my post on Things I Want to See More of / Less of in Blind Characters. I don’t think I considered it at the time. However, unlike my post on blind seers, I think this trope actually causes some harm in subtle ways and I usually encourage avoiding it. I’ll discuss why in this post.

What’s Wrong With Blind Characters Covering Their Eyes?

Keep in mind that blind characters are not so common. Because they aren’t very common and because not everyone in your audience knows a blind person in real life, the way the character is represented could lead audiences to believe that is how blind people are. This, coupled with a general lack of information given in everyday life, allows writers or artists to unintentionally influence how real life blind people are perceived.

Sure, blind people create blind characters as well. However, we don’t usually get as much exposure or opportunities. We could be held back by other barriers, such as poverty. This means it can be hard to counteract tropes we don’t like or that activity harm us.

Blind characters covering their eyes is potentially harmful for a few reasons.

One reason is that it is assumed that all blind people always cover their eyes. This means that in real life, blind people are not as easily recognized even when they have a cane. The white cane is supposed to be what alerts others that a person is blind. Instead, people get confused about why a blind person isn’t wearing sunglasses if they’re blind. This leads to unnecessary explanations, lost time, refusal to help, and sometimes hostility. Wearing sunglasses helps some blind people communicate blindness more easily. They may feel forced to adopt the stereotype.

Another reason is that it unknowingly touches on the pressure some blind people face to cover their eyes. This could be because they are self-conscious about them or because of pressure to make other people feel more comfortable. This pressure could originate from the way their eyes look or move, or even due to lack of eye contact. Sometimes, stories present these ideas as normal for blind people, which increases the idea that blind people should be ashamed of their eyes or that they should prioritize the comfort of others for something superficial.

Where Did the Stereotype Come From?

While I am not sure about the exact origins, the stereotype probably comes from a few sources: shorthand symbolism and abled actors playing blind characters.

-Shorthand symbolism could be used in art or plays to indicate a character’s blindness.

-Because films and shows are so popular and more easily consumed, audiences are more often exposed to blind people on the screen. Actors who aren’t blind often wear sunglasses to make them appear blind to audiences who would perceive eye movements as breaking character. The actors in live-action material often wear sunglasses to hide their eyes. Why blind actors aren’t hired initially is another story.

This page discusses the sunglasses trope in films.

-Some blind people who wear sunglasses for any reason may also simply be more recognizable as a blind person as opposed to blind people who don’t wear sunglasses. This means others may not be aware that blind who don’t wear dark sunglasses exist.

The Sunglasses Stereotype

I should mention here that blind people are simultaneously expected to wear sunglasses as a signifier of blindness while also accused of faking for wearing them. The rationale is the idea that blind people can’t see the sun and therefore would never need sunglasses. This, of course, depends on the stereotypes that all blind people are totally blind, which is not true. Most sources I have found over my time writing this blog state that less than 10 to 15% of blind people are totally blind, which means about 85 to 90% of blind people have light perception or some residual vision.

When Should Our Characters Wear Sunglasses or a Blindfold?

Many writers have characters cover their eyes because it feels right. Some assume the character would feel uncomfortable with the way their eyes look and that they prefer to hide them. In order to write this trope well, you must understand your reason behind it.

Let’s examine why blind people wear sunglasses in real life. This page is a good one to read and was very helpful in constructing this post.

Light sensitivity, or photophobia, occurs when people have sensitivity to light, usually sunlight. Blind people can also expirience this.

Sunglasses are used to shield their eyes from the sun when outdoors and from big windows when indoors. Some sources state synthetic lighting is not usually an issue and others state some people may want to wear their sunglasses indoors.

For characters who aren’t modern, the equivalent of sunglasses would probably be a blindfold or eye patch.

Blind people like fashion just as the next person. They might enjoy wearing sunglasses occasionally. However, they don’t wear them all the time.

Blind people might also want to protect their eyes from dust or injury, whether they can see or not. This can be accomplished with sunglasses or regular glasses.

How Do We Write Blind Characters Covering Their Eyes Respectfully?

This is one of those tropes I prefer people avoid. I say “avoid” because I want to come across it less which means way less people need to use it.

Think about why you want your blind character to cover their eyes.

Is it because it simply feels right to you? Is it because you believe it will help audiences understand or accept that your character is blind? Is it because you can’t imagine your character any other way? Is it because your feel deep down that your character’s eyes would make other characters uncomfortable?

Think about where this idea comes from and whether you really want to use it.

If you have decided it makes sense for your character to cover their eyes, here are some tips for you to do it well.

1. If they use sunglasses for fashion, have the blind character go without the accessory periodically throughout the story. Consider avoiding them covering their eyes when they are first introduced, as first impressions can be memorable. Your blind character should not be the only one who happens to wear sunglasses as part of their style.

2. If they are sensitive to light, do research on photophobia. Consider where the character is when covering their eyes. Do they mostly wear sunglasses outside and near big windows? Do screens bother them? Make it clear in the story.

3. I always suggest having more than one blind character in a story. This is important for moments such as this. Having a blind character who doesn’t cover their eyes shows that not all blind people cover their eyes. This, in addition to a writer understanding exactly why their character covers their eyes, will help immensely.

This trope is a problem when no reference to the alternative is made, usually because the writer doesn’t understand what they’re writing about. They haven’t considered the reasons blind people cover their eyes and therefore aren’t aware that not all blind people do so. Having more than one blind character in the story shows more than one experience, including covering or not covering eyes. Showing different experiences eliminates the idea that blind people “just do” certain things. It makes people think.

If you want audiences to think, you first need to ask: why?

When writing marginalized characters, remember that their marginalization decreases the amount of accurate information available about them. Audiences don’t have as many resources to check. They may even lack the inclination to do so at all. This could be because of a desire to maintain biases or simply because they don’t consider blind people much outside of entertainment or pity. Surprisingly, some people are even actively resistant or hostile to the idea of taking time to learn about the experiences of blind people.

This means your story could be more impactful than you realize.

When you’re writing, ask yourself the question: why? You might realize that it makes for a richer, more informed story.

[girl8890]

Jealous Mess

{ Alice in Borderland Master List }

Summary: You and Chishiya are dating and most of the people at The Beach know about it. The people who don’t, are the new comers. One new comer in particular, doesn’t seem to get the hint that your taken. Since your so blind to the new guys advances, you just think he’s being friendly and you become friends with him. Chishiya on the other hand, looks at this situation as one that could take you away from him.

Warnings: established relationships!au, emotional Smut, vaginal sex, nipple play, unwanted flirting, reader is too nice for her own good, past neglectful parents, insecurities, jealousy, and Spoilers For The Manga. 

Inspired By: THIS POST of mine.

Rating: 18+

。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。

Chishiya can’t believe what he’s witnessing right now.

He’s sitting at a table, hands flat on top of it, and staring at you wide eyed.

Your across the table from him, but not facing him. You're laughing up a storm, and lean forward inch by inch each time the new comer in front of you says something remotely funny.

Aguni recently brought back a few new people from a game they last went to. He said they had potential on being a good group of militants. Chishiya thought, on the other hand, that they were all just extra dumb asses that didn’t need to be at The Beach.

One new comer in particular, he disliked more then all of them. This guy, out of all the new comers, was the only one not getting the hint.

That hint being… you were taken.

Taken by none other then Chishiya himself. Instead of him realizing this very important information, he’s been flirting with you continuously since he’s got there. That’s what Chishiya is currently watching with his own eyes. And you're to concentrated in listening to the guys not so funny jokes, to notice how Chishiya is feeling. Feelings he’s not even hiding that well in that moment.

The guy will say things along the lines of, “Your so good in the games we should ‘spar’ sometime.” And since your so innocent and simple minded when it comes to flirtation being directed at you, you see nothing wrong with what he’s saying. Even if he smirks at you and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, you still won’t understand what’s actually happening in front of you.

Chishiya knows your not dumb. Far from it, actually. It’s just when it comes to others having an interest in you, it takes you awhile to notice. Hell, it took you at least a month to even realize Chishiya has feelings for you. In your defense, this is Chishiya we’re taking about. The man who can hide his feelings about something and anything until the days he dies.

But in this moment - The moment where the new comer is effortlessly flirting with you - his emotions are clear as day. And your not even sparing him a glance to notice.

Chishiya is used to ignoring people, but he does not like it the other way around. He looks back and forth between you too while the conversation continues. Still not moving, but his breathing starts to become heavier.

And still, you laugh with him and he throws in an obvious (but not to you) flirtation.

“You know - we could always go back to my room.”

Your eyebrow raises in confusion.

“W-why would we do that?”

The new guy you just befriended leans forward so he’s more in your space. You glance down at your knees when you feel his fingers start to glide across them.

Your utterly stunned by the turn in conversation. You knew Chishiya was listening. You knew because he was right across the damn table. You wanted to look at him, and tell him let’s get out of here, but you were so shocked by this guys obvious advances on you that you couldn’t more. You two were just being friendly a moment ago, why the sudden change in tone from him?

When you didn’t say anything, the new guy, who you thought was just being friendly with you, whispered to you in a tone that was dripping with lust.

“I could treat you so right. You wouldn’t want to get out of bed with me.”

You were about to push him away from you. You were about to start yelling about how crazy and disgusting he was, but Chishiya stopped you. He didn’t say anything; he just hit his hands onto the table you three were sitting at, and made you jump. Then, he stood up, and made the chair he was sitting on fall behind him. His eyes showed exactly how he was feeling… He was very mad.

No one should ever get Chishiya mad.

You thought he was going to say something. Something like ‘Don’t talk to my girlfriend that way,’ or tell him to ‘Fuck off,’ but he did neither.

Instead, he stood up… and walked away.

You shook your head from the shock of what just happened. You called out to Chishiya, but he was already gone. You turned back to the new comer that just created this headache, and you saw he looked confused. You stood up from your chair abruptly and practically spat at him.

“Thanks, but I have a boyfriend.”

Then you ran towards where Chishiya just went. On the search to find him.

---------------------------------------

Chishiya has always been a people watcher. The observer, if you will. He watched you for weeks until he finally got the courage to talk to you. It wasn't only the fact that he saw you as a very attractive person, but you were just like him in so many ways.

You weren’t as observant as he was, the past hour just proved that point, but you were intelligent in everything else. He fell for you right after a hearts game when you figured out the answer faster than even he did. Nobody, not even Arisu or Kunia, has impressed him quite like you did. 

And that was just the start of his feelings for you.

He would find himself always wanting to be close to you. Even when he didn’t need to, he would watch you from afar and find whatever you were doing at the time intriguing. Even if it was nothing special, like blowing your nose, he kept staring at you and found little things that he loved in you.

He tried to make himself stop. He tried to tell himself not to fall in love, and that you can’t fall in love in a place like this, but the heart wants what the heart wants. 

He didn’t want to admit it, in the beginning, but he fell for you so fast it was embarrassing for his standards. Eventually, you figured it out too. It was a month after the fact, but you still did in this exact bedroom he was siting in right now.

Chishiya was non-stop ignoring you for a whole month and you couldn’t figure out why. When you confronted him, his emotions became too overbearing. Maybe it was because the stress of his plan to take the game cards, or because staying away from you got to be too much.

Either option, when you were standing there yelling at him and telling him you were sorry for reasons you didn't even know yourself. Your were sorry, and that you just wanted him back in your life...

He kissed you. 

He kissed you, and you kissed him back.

And now we're here in the present. Chishiya is in his room, but instead of longing for you he was feeling complete and utter rage. Rage for the fact that you let that guy speak to you that way. Rage for the fact that you didn’t stop his advances from the very start. But mostly, rage for himself for letting his emotions let loose for the second time because of you.

The first time did benefit him because you two ended up together. The second time - well - you got him to be a jealous mess. 

He wasn't crying or self loathing. Chishiya isn’t that type of jealous person. He was jealous over the fact that you weren't 100% his. He would whisper in your ears over and over how you are his and only his, but that’s just not how life works. You could very easily leave him at any moment. Leave him for a guy like the new comer and be happy. 

Or,

You could die in some game or be killed by someone like the new comer. He’s jealous over the fact that he can't defeat death. Jealous that, just like his father would always tell him, that he was never enough. Never enough for his father, and now never enough for you.

He sat on his bed with his arms holding himself up on his knees facing the window, not moving, for over an hour now. He knew you most likely went looking for him, but you didn’t look enough to check his room. He never stayed in his room much to begin with, so maybe you just checked all the spots you thought he would be in.

He thought you probably gave up on him, though. The longer he sat there he also started thinking maybe you weren't even looking for him in the first place. Maybe you were with that guy...

That thought just made a sour taste form in his mouth. His eye twitched at the thought of you being with someone else. If that’s the guy you wanted so badly, one that spoke to you like you were a piece of trash, then maybe he really wasn’t enough for you. The one and only perfect thing - the one and only perfect person he’s ever had in his life - didn’t want him anymore. 

This brought tears to form in his eyes. You were the only person that didn’t make or assume Chishiya was perfect. Yeah you would say he was perfect in your eyes, and that you also loved his flaws. Flaws he only ever showed to you. But now he thought, you thought he was to flawed now. To flawed for your love.  

Maybe he just wasn’t -

His thoughts stopped there. The door opened, and you peeked your head inside. You signed when you realized you finally found him. You’ve looked every spot you thought he would be in, and then spots you thought he would never be in.

Chishiya was the smartest person you’ve ever met so if he really wanted to be away from someone, he would find a way to hide from them very well. This is the second time you have found him in his room. You don’t know why you didn’t check here first since you found him here last time you went on a race around the hotel to find him. 

You stepped all the way into the room, and closed the door behind you. You walked in until you were standing in front of him, blocking his view of the window.

His eyes traveled from your stomach all the way to your eyes. He looked beyond exhausted, but not from doing anything physical. He was exhausted from all the thoughts and emotions that have been forming in his head this past hour. 

You crossed your arms in front of your chest and stood in the silence with him for a moment. You wanted to take this picture of him in. You’ve never seen him this upset before and you wanted to make sure the next time he was like this you would know how he’s feeling since he doesn’t show his emotions that much.

When the silence finally stretched for to long, you finally decided to say something. 

“Why did you run away? I’ve been looking for you for over an hour now, and your not very easy to find Chishiya.”

His eyes went wide for a second and you weren’t sure why. 

He was surprised you were actually looking for him this entire time. That one of his dark thoughts weren't actually true. He sat up now and still looked at you with sadness in his eyes. Even though you proved one of his assumptions wrong, there was still others he couldn’t rule out as a possibility. 

“Don’t you want to be with him?”  

“Huh?” 

Was he serious right now? You couldn’t help, but look at him like a crazy person in that moment. Did he seriously think you would just leave him for some other guy?

“No, Chishiya. I don’t want to be with him.” 

He signed and he looked like he felt a little bit better, but it still didn’t change the fact that he didn’t feel worthy of you. Like he wasn't enough for you.

Even though you couldn’t read his mind, you could tell something was still bothering him. Call it girlfriends intuition, but you just knew. 

You walked over to the bed, and sat down next to him. His eyes followed your every move. You turned your body so you were facing him. You slowly moved your hand until it was on top of his on his leg. You spoke in a gentle tone because if what you were thinking, that he was thinking, was true you didn’t want to make his mood worse by saying it harshly.

“What else is bothering you Chishiya? I don’t want that guy and I’ll never want anyone else, but you. I don’t understand why you could even think that way unless-” You swallowed even though your throat was dry. “-unless your thinking your not enough for me? Just like y-your father would always tell you.”

Chishiya looked away from you when you mentioned his father. He didn’t keep secrets from you. He kept his life before the Borderland’s a secret even from Kuina. Just not from you. He only told you because you asked. He was hesitant then, and he was hesitant now to talk about it. 

He didn't say anything, but he did nod his head and confirmed your worries. 

You moved yourself again until you were straddling his legs. You moved his arms until they were lazily wrapped around you, and you made him look at you with your hands on his face. 

“I would NEVER think you were not enough. You’re the smartest and most amazing person I've ever met. Yeah you have your flaws, but so do I and you look past them. So, why is it so hard for you to see that I would never leave you?”

Instead of responding right away, he moved his hands until they were laying on your thighs and moved you closer to him. His face was against your chest, and shut his eyes closed. He didn't want to see your reaction when he said his worries out loud to you. 

“I don’t think I'm enough for you because you're too perfect.” 

As much as you wanted to tell him what he said wasn't true, you stayed quiet so he could let what he was thinking out. No more hiding his emotions in that moment. 

“Your so perfect, and you're the only thing I've allowed to be in my life that wasn't just to get my father’s attention. I love you because you actually care for me, and make me feel loved back. Your the first person to make me feel this way, an-and I'm terrified everyday that you’ll be ripped away from me.”

You were in tears by the time he stopped talking. You wiped your eyes with your sleeve, and then kissed the top of his head. 

You knew what he was saying was what he truly felt, but you couldn't help yourself by loving him more by him feeling this way. He loved you so much just by having your love in return. Your were the first selfish thing he’s ever had in his life, and he doesn’t want it taken away from him.

You were so overwhelmed with love that you did the first thing that came to mind. You pushed him off your chest and caught his lips with yours. He was surprised at first but eventually melted into the kiss.

You moved him so he was laying on the bed with you on top of him. Your mouths never left each others. His arms rubbed your thighs and you cupped his face so he wouldn’t decide to pull apart from you. 

“I would never leave you Chishiya,” You whispered into his lips. You pulled back slightly to make sure he understood you were serious, and your words were nothing but the truth. “I love you, and I will continue to love you even after I get shot by a laser or die by some stupid accident that I somehow got my clumsy ass into.”

You saw the corners of his mouth move up, but it didn’t quite make reach his eyes.

“I love you with everything I got Chishiya - and I will continue to do so even after we leave this place. Doctor or not I want to be with you because you are enough for me - and that’s all that matter’s in my eyes.”

You didn’t care what his father thought of him. What you said is what you meant and believed. 

His lips parted and he looked around your face to make sure you weren't lying. You weren’t, and you would never think any different. 

He smiled at you, and that brought a smile on your face too. Instead of continuing the sweet words you two were sharing, he lifted his face up and captured your lips in his.

Your lips moved in sync, and fit together like they were made for each other. Chapped lips and moist tongues were were joined together. The taste of you two combining was intoxicating. 

He moved his hands that were resting on your thighs onto your ass. He grabbed two handfuls of you and you moaned into his mouth. You didn’t realize until then how much you wanted him. Chishiya always wanted you, but right now he wanted you for the same reason’s and more.

You sat up quickly to take up your tank top. He stared up at you like you were the most beautiful creature he’s ever laid eyes on. 

Instead of rushing, you slowly moved your hands behind your back and unclipped your bra. Pulling it off your body and dangling it in front of him like a prize. 

“Oh, baby.”

He whispered into the silent room. He licked his lips and his eyes never left the new parts of your skin that was just revealed to him. 

You threw your bra off the side of the bed then slowly moved his hands so they would cup your breasts. You both gasped at the contact and you threw your head back with the feeling of his cold hands on you. 

He twisted one of your nipples with his pointer and middle finger, making you moan out again in pleasure. He then sat up and caught your other nipple in his mouth. Sucking on the bud and electing such pleasant noises from you to his ears. 

When he unlatched from you, you helped him remove his jacket and smoothed your hands down his chest. You both dove back into each others lips and felt your teeth clatter together. 

He swiftly moved you, so your back was now on the mattress, and he was hovering above you. After a couple of minutes of you two making out, topless and entranced with one another, he pulled back and started taking off his pants. 

You started doing the same, but neither of your eyes left the others. 

When you both were finally bare to one another, he placed his body in-between your legs. His one hand was gripping your leg, and his other arm was holding himself above you right, placed next to your head. 

He rubbed his nose on your’s and you made a satisfied noise with the sweet contact. He leaned forward to place his lips on yours again. This time more softly. You both kept up this rhythm with your mouths until you felt his hand move between your legs, and adjust himself to be pointed right at your entrance.

Your gasped when he entered you and he unattached himself from your lips. He moved his face to the side of your neck and grunted into it. When he thrusted completely inside you, you wrapped your arms around his neck because to sudden feeling of being stretched was overwhelming. 

He kissed your neck and waited for you to adjust to him being fully inside of you. It wasn't until you started wiggling your hips that he started to move inside of you. You moaned in unison and he thrusted inside of you more quickly. 

He moved his lips from your neck to nip at your ear. You moaned out his name and this stirred him on to move faster inside you. He pulled up your one leg his hand was still holding to be able to enter you at a better angle. You threw your head back and shut your eyes for the feeling of him being deeper inside of you.

“You feel fantastic Y/n.” He whispered into your ear. “So p-perfect. You feel so tight around m-me.”

His words were short and he stuttered a few times, but it still hit you right in the spot you needed it too. Your walls were so close to bursting, and you felt yourself tighten around him. He moaned into your ear and it sent shivers down your spine. 

You knew he was close to by how his thrusts started to get sloppy, but it still felt so euphoric to you. 

Right when you were about to burst, you shouted out to him, “I love you Chishiya!”

You moaning out your love for him got him to his peek too. You held each other close and felt your juices mix together. Both climaxing at the same time.

You both stayed in that position even after you both were down from your highs. Even though it was emotional, that was undoubtedly the best sex you’ve ever had together.

Chishiya started to feel his arms shake from holding himself above you, so he pulled himself out of you and you both moaned at the oversensitivity of the action. He plopped himself next you then pulled you close to him. Wrapping his arms around your waist. 

He pulled the blanket over you so you were both underneath it, and then kissed your temple. You were so happy in that moment you couldn’t help, but repeat yourself. 

“I love you Chishiya.”

He smiled at you and whispered into the quiet room, “And I love you more than breathing.”

You both stayed quiet after that. You couldn't believe you just heard him say those words out loud. Chishiya always put surviving before anything, and he just told you he loved you more than breathing itself. Though those words were simple, they actually meant, ‘I love you so much I can’t live without you.’ 

When you glanced at him, you saw he was already fast asleep. You smiled at your boyfriend’s sleeping form, and kissed him on the cheek before closing your eyes to start to fall asleep yourself. But not before telling the sleeping Chishiya one more thing.

“Then I guess will just have to live forever.”

-

-

-

The End

[yindelune]

PAC: a reading about your person

so this reading is about your person - their energy/traits, how they see you, and something that you need to hear regarding this connection.

before you start picking your pile:

this is a reading for the collective so there are details that might not feel right for you. it’s normal. take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.

this is a timeless reading so even if you see this weeks, months, or years after i posted this, it’s meant to be relevant to your current situation.

reblog and likes are very much appreciated! as well as your written feedbacks! if you think this reading can also help a friend or a loved one, you can send them the link to this reading. thank you!

how to pick your pile:

what you have to do first is to center yourself, take 3 to 5 deep breaths, and as you do, think about your person.

after that, you can pick one of the photos below. pick the one you feel the most drawn to.

it’s okay if you feel attracted to more than one pile, it might just be that there are messages you’re meant to receive from other piles.

Let's begin!

pile 1

your person's traits/energy: the devil, ace of cups, 4 of swords

this person is disciplined and can seem too rigid but has lots of love to give. they could also be someone who feels like they have a lot of responsibilities (could be a capricorn). i can also see that this person is well equipped, like no matter what battle it is, they are going to fight ready. this person is intimidating at first and is very guarded, and almost like a tough nut to crack. but somehow, i feel like you've managed to make them feel comfortable with you. this is someone who's more often serious than joking, although they're not completely stoic. honestly i’m really having a hard time getting more information about them so yeah definitely a very guarded person... i need the help of my clarification cards 😭 it's not that they're not approachable because i feel like they're always open to be of help. i think they're just reserved. very reserved. and they keep things business. 

i think the reason this person has become more closed off is because they've just come out of an unhealthy cycle (possibly a relationship/connection with a narcissist) that left them feeling all betrayed and/or drained. there's a bit of ego included here, like while they were in a relationship with that person, the way they subconsciously survived was to inflate their own ego. now that they're out if that relationship, or whatever connection that was, they're beginning to realize things and be more retrospective so they may want to spend a lot of their time alone. just by themselves. at first i thought this was a masculine energy, but now actually i'm feeling more of a wounded feminine... regardless of gender. they are isolating themselves right now as they believe it'll be easier to face their issues alone. and this time this is a conscious choice that they made. they know what they're doing is what the cards want me to say. they may be isolating themselves now and you're worried, but this time what they've made is a conscious choice to be alone, because, as i've said, they know and believe they have to face their issues alone.

for some of you, this could be someone who's the total opposite of what i just described. i feel like this person is sooo loving and dreamy and easily influenced that it was so easy to find themself trapped in an unhealthy habit/cycle. and, same thing, i think they are also in the “i gotta deal with my issues alone” phase. that's just for some of you, though.

how they see you: 2 of pentacles, queen of swords, the wheel of fortune

they see you as someone who's very smart but doesn't know what they're doing 99% of the time, or doesn't believe in their capabilities 99% of the time. i feel like you're always stumbling and all chaotic on the outside so other people in general may see you as the kind of person who's just...messy and has no direction (sorry for that), but this particular person knows you're smart, knows your potential, and knows that you can do so much better. and this isn't in a degrading way, by the way. because they can also see that you're trying, and they believe you will get there. another thing, this person sees you as someone who is absolutely capable of leading, of commanding a whole room. this person believes in you. they also feel lucky to know you. i feel like you make them laugh and amuse them even without intending to. despite being in some kind of a hermit phase, they actually like having you around. oh, and they find you adorable sometimes. while they're the negative polarity, they think you are their positive counterpart. you just shine in their eyes. i can feel how much they admire and adore you, and wish you would stop doubting yourself.

advice: 8 of pentacles, the fool, queen of wands

okay, so this is definitely a soulmate connection. one where you two will help each other go out of your respective comfort zones. but that time isn't now. this person need time for themselves. this part, you have to let them do this alone. right now i don't see anything romantic, actually. but this is a deep connection. so if you have romantic feelings for them, i would advise you to maybeee tone it down a bit. not only for them, but also for yourself. this person definitely trusts you, though. but right now they really need to focus first on themselves and stand back up in their power by themselves. they really don't wanna depend on another person anymore to make themselves feel complete. right now they don't need a lover, they need a friend who understands that most of the time they would prefer to be alone. one who won't change the way they treat and interact with them despite the low-maintenance thing going on. i feel like this connection right now is moving slowly, and it will be this way for a little bit longer, but they'll come out feeling ready to take risks again, and you will come out with a sturdier self-confidence and self-esteem.

pile 2

your person's traits/energy: the stars, 9 of pentacles, 8 of swords

right off the bat, i feel like this person is a chill, laid-back one, but not the kind that takes everything as a joke. i can feel almost this quite rational and sensible energy from them, like they know which battle is worth the fight and which isn't. they are independent and low-maintenance, and they're also good with people (they're probably an air sign, specifically a libra). they must really be thriving when it comes to finances, too. i feel like an opportunity or a potential new beginning has recently been presented to this person, and they're just not sure if they should take that risk. maybe this is about a person, like they're not entirely sure if they should take the risk of making a move on them. but they definitely want to try. i feel like they've been taking a break from all romantic endeavors for a while, but now, oh wow they're definitely interested ;) they're really considering welcoming love again, and allowing themselves to be happy with someone. they've done their work to achieve independence and stability within themselves, and i think they're pondering if it's time to give romance a chance again. 

i guess their fear mainly stems from the fear of this new love ending up being just another unhealthy cycle again, as well as the uncertainty, but daaamn, they really can't help feeling the butterflies even if they wanted to help it. whoever this person has been talking to, they really do be enjoying this person's company. like, really. almost like talking to them and being with them brings them back to the heart-fluttering parts of their teenage years. i cannot tell yet that their person is you, but we'll figure out soon enough. but yeah, they're just really beginning to develop these deep feelings for someone. your person easily opens up, or at least very open to their friends. i think. i feel like instead of telling me more about themselves, they're really just telling me about their cute little crush it's so adorable!  they might be a taurus crushing on a libra/aquarius, or vice versa.

how they see you: the hierophant, the hanged man, justice

okay, first of all. JUSTICE CARD. NEED I SAY MORE??? LIBRA!!! i feel like this person sees you as someone who's very orderly and organized. someone with self-discipline and self-control, who values fairness and balance! the cards feel serious and matured, so i guess that's how they see you. they like that their laid-back-self found their serious, kinda intense counterpart in you. in their eyes, you just have a lot of depth and wisdom! they really look up to you and they listen to everything you say because they feel like you can guide them and teach them how to be more perceptive and self-reflective, and that you can really help them grow.

they also may see you as someone who's a bit traditional/old-school, and they REAAALLY love that. this feels like having a crush on an older person whom you know can protect and guide you 🥺 they really trust you. this person was definitely intimidated by you when you first met, though. maybe even until now. they think you've got a lot to put on the table, they're just so impressed by you that they can't help but want to impress you, too. maybe that's what the 8 of swords was about, too. they do not have any idea how to impress you and they're just stuck there not knowing what move to make. you might be their senior, or boss, or you might simply be older than them. at least that is what i'm getting. i feel like in a social/professional setting, you are really good at putting on your "don't mess with me" facade, but i also feel like this person has gotten to know the you that lies beyond this facade. and it just fascinates them how you can act so stoic when you're actually so fun to be with. they definitely see you as someone with so much stability within yourself, and so much stability to offer. they feel like you've gone through a lot of things and that's why you are so wise and mature now.

and oh my GOD. YOU'RE DEFINITELY THE PERSON THEY'RE TELLING ME ABOUT ON THE FIRST SECTION OF THIS READING. LIKE THEY CONFIRMED IT THEMSELVES BY HAVING THE CLARIFICATION CARD I PULLED FOR THEM EARLIER JUMP OUT JUST NOW. I CANNOT. i'm really getting excited for this reading please wtf is this JUST GET A ROOM IDK.

but yeah you make this person feel sooo excited, like a teenager crushing on a really smart, disciplined and attractive teacher. I KNOW BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW 😭 they don't only have a crush on you, they look up to you and admire you! i'm getting a sense that you're actually their ideal type, omg. are you smiling rn? pls tell me you're smiling right now because I AM EVEN SQUEALINGGGGG.

advice: 7 of pentacles, king of swords, the fool

i feel like you're someone who naturally takes their time with things, especially making decisions, but if you also like this person, definitely make a move. it doesn't have to be this groundbreaking move! subtle ones will do. again, make a move. you may be someone who naturally leans more towards logic and maybe even practicality, but i feel like this situation doesn't require logic as much as it does feelings. does this person make you happy, too? yes? go for it. after all, i can sense that you also feel dulled by your repetitive daily routine. you desire something that will excite you again, and i feel like this is exactly what this person has to offer.

another reason this person's hesitant to make a move may be because they are not sure if you'll be comfortable with it, because they love what you currently have - friendship, i guess? or just something casual. as i have said, you tend to be a bit stoic in public so being a casual friend to you already feels like an achievement to them. i also said that your moves can be just subtle ones, so it can be as simple as maybe showing them that you'll be fine with them making moves? if that makes sense. because this person, i can see that they're definitely ready to do everything to prove to you that they're sincere about you, and to wait until you're ready. they just need the go signal. if you want them, too, play your part and give them the green light! this person really is head over heels for you, i feel like they take a lot of your pictures, or take many pictures with you. i also feel like you've talked to your very few friends about this, asking for their advice. and this person also talks to their friends about you 😭 

lastly, give them a call. GIVE THEM A CALLLLLLLL!!! let them know you're thinking about them or something. just. MAKE MOVE. GIVE THEM THE GREEN LIGHT.

pile 3

your person’s traits/energy: 7 of cups, 4 of pentacles, 5 of pentacles

idk why but i feel like this person's kinda selfish... ;~; like they've been through a lot, and in the end they came to this resolution to just always put themselves first. even if it means letting others down, or harming those who are in their way. not only selfish, but i'm sensing greed, too. i feel like everyone who gets too close to them, who trusts them, this person leaves them with a broken heart and broken trust. i really didn't expect this about this person, actually, especially considering that the pic i used for them was THAT pic. but then again, before i began this pile's reading, i imagined them to be benevolent, it felt wrong. so simply put, they prioritize themselves the unhealthy way. it's the way that harms other people. i feel like that's the image they want others to see. the selfish, greedy image. almost like... they purposely do that to push people away? i can sense that this person has some serious inner child work to do... their energy, i can compare it to a kitten who was beaten up and left to die, but they lived. now they're a stray, and because of the trauma they got, they're always hostile to people who try to approach them, not because they're a bad person, but because they're actually afraid. (ok the selfish and greedy part makes more sense now. it's almost like this, "better hurt you first before you get to hurt me" kind of energy). even though the first cards to jump out are totally throwing me off, the clarifiers are actually nicer.. which is why i think they're throwing people off on purpose. they're so hard to reach, honestly, i'm not even gonna lie i'm having a hard time reading them. it's also like even they themselves are confused about who they really are. i also get the feeling that they have thought of themselves as a "lost cause", so they don't even really try anymore. something's also telling me that they're always moving??? they're always working so they won't have to talk to people, and so people won't dare talk to them. so much fear is being masked by the "bad person" facade, and they've gotten used to acting like a bad person that they've lost touch with their authentic selves.

how they see you: 2 of swords, the moon, the sun

okay, i had to do the shuffling over and over again here because it just seemed like your person really didn't wanna spill and was doing their best to confuse my ass!!! they're really STUBBORN ngl. okay, so here we go- actually i been wanting to say this since earlier, but i think this like a twin flame journey... if you believe in that, haha. if not, then it's definitely a soulmate connection. but not just any other soulmate connection. this one is really strong. i also think only few people would pick and truly resonate with pile 3 because this is such a unique connection... there's a lot of depth here. they definitely see you as their counterpart and mirror. that's like the highlight of what they're saying to me. i feel like they see you as someone who also has internal struggles and when they met you, they felt less alone. like they have found a friend in you, a friend that's veeery similar to themselves, and they take comfort in that. i hate to say this because this line is really common when it comes to twin flames and it sounds a bit cliche, but this person feels like you mirror each other in ways that they can't really describe. and even though you make them feel less alone, they also kinda fear having to physically be with you or to even just have a thought of you (and really, i think they been thinking a lot about you) because it makes them more conscious and aware of what's going on inside them and it forces them to face it. as i have said, you mirror them, and that includes seeing in you the same struggles they've been having, so facing you also means facing their fears and wounds. thus, whether they're aware of it or not, in a way, you trigger their healing process (you could be a scorpio). and honestly, i feel like they fear confronting it. also, you shine so much in their eyes. you just stand out. this connection really has some heaviness to it but not really in a bad way. it's more that it has substance. they fear you and yet, they also find comfort in you.

because of your strong impact on them, they're really compelled to have ALL their guards up when it comes to you. 

advice: three of swords, knight of wands, 2 of cups

alright, this is surprisingly short, but it's straight to the point. this person is obviously bearing a lot of wounds. they need love, and lots of patience. if you know you can't give it to them, just keep your distance for now. even if you want to but you know you would be pouring from an empty cup, don't do it.  if you are to make a move, though, make sure not to rush them. as i have said, they need lots of patience. and love. it may take time before they can show improvements. they really just need to feel loved and worth fighting for, to feel that people are willing to stay for them. so if you know you can, if you know you are stable enough to be the person they can depend on for a while, then please love them and fight for them. show them they're worthy of such an effort.

Alright, that’s it for this reading!

Thank you for taking your time to see and listen to what the cards had to say! And also, thank you for the love that my very first reading received (and continues to receive). I really appreciate it. It only encourages me to be better at this, and to help enlighten more people through my tarot reading.

Again, thank you!

Always,

Yin ♡

[feyti-odinsdottir]

Why I loved Encanto: An Unnecessarily Wordy Post

Warning: *spoilers ahead*

1. It Surprised me

I was really sus to watch Encanto. I had glimpsed a few ads on the interweb, and I figured it was gonna be some weird, new-agey, everyone-finds-the-power-they-need-deep-within-themselves (like we've never heard that one before), movie that I really wouldn't like, but then I actually watched it and it was so different from what I expected. The absolute definition of a pleasant surprise.

2. The Villain

My second favorite thing about Encanto was the "villain" and the fact that there was no villain. The only real "villain" of Encanto, was the pain within their family.

Idk if this was actually what they were trying to convey, but what I envisioned watching the movie was that when Casita started cracking, it was like a visual representation of how everyone in the family was carrying and burying so much pain for the sake of Abuela and the rest of the family, and trying to pretend that everything was fine, even though they were dying inside. To me the Casita was like a physical manifestation of the family. They were all trying so hard to pretend that everything was okay, but they were still falling apart because so much pretending really does take a toll, ("watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks"). You can see the house beginning to crack as the family is put under more and more pressure, and you can see how the cracks start to heal, like say during What More Can I Do when Isabella realizes that she doesn't have to be exactly what her family wants all the time and she's allowed to be her own unique person. And then how the house finally collapses under all the anger and discord, but they're able to rebuild it once they reunite. The fact that the Madrigal's biggest enemy was the ways that they had hurt each other and couldn't be totally united because of it, was very huge to me, and probably other people like me who deal with very loving, caring families who have still managed to hurt them.

3. The Plot

The whole point of this movie was that the Madrigal's had been given a very special gift and they were supposed to use that gift to help others; but if they didn't truly love and care for each other and admit their mistakes and help each other and support each other, they couldn't utilize their gift to its full potential.

I loved that instead of one character having to unlock their true potential and prove the family wrong and save them all (definitely what I thought was gonna happen), the climax of the story was Abuela (who did the most damage to the family) and mostly everyone else having to admit that they made mistakes and they were hurt and they weren't always perfect, and then they all forgave each other and started healing and loving each other and trying their best to grow together and work together as an imperfect family who loved each other no matter what. That is such a cute and wholesome premise for a kids movie. A character being able to say 'yes, even though I love my family I still hurt them because I'm human, but I apologized and they forgave me and they still love me because we're a family' or 'yes, my family hurt me and I'm still healing from it and I may be for awhile, but I still love them to death because they're not perfect and neither am I' is something that hits so close to home and I am SO here for it.

4. The Family Bond

One of the things that hit me in the gut about this movie was that this family LOVES each other. So often there's always so much beef and anger and trauma and pettiness and just general rudeness displayed within families in the media, or its just the few surviving members of the family loving each other. And while I get that thats pretty common in our culture sadly, why does it have to be in every movie too? What about happy healthy family representation too?

Encanto made me so happy because it showcased a large, multi-generational family with almost all of its members (rip Abuelo), living in one house together, and they were HAPPY to be around each other. They LOVED each other. They had their spats and arguments and problems like all families, but they still loved being around each other. Family members were all comfortable being around each other and in each other's spaces, and even the estranged family member longed to still be part of family dinner. Even though Abuela was very disapproval of the family at large, they still tried so hard to please her because they loved her and wanted her to be happy.

The way the family treated Mirabel also stuck out to me. I figured that since she didn't have a gift, we would quickly find out that her family were total rude asshats to her, but like...no? They weren't? She had her times when she felt like she was missing out, like she couldn't be as helpful as everyone else, or during her song Waiting on a Miracle, but like...duh. If I was the only person in my family without superpowers I would be mad miserable, but Mirabel wasn't. She struggled with those feelings, but she also seemed very happy likewise, and determined to be just as useful as the rest of the family. And she harbored no resent or anger toward her family because they were gifted and she wasn't (and lemme tell you, mad props to her honestly). Even in one of her first scenes we see her happily and enthusiastically introducing the rest of the family and their abilities, and you can see that she's just bursting with pride for them and for being a part of the same family. Obviously some of the family (*cough*Abuela*cough*Isabella*cough*) didn't always treat her well, but aside from them, none of the family ever once intentionally treated her like she was an outcast or inferior to them. She was always obviously and unmistakably a part of the family. (My brain almost wants to draw a parallel between the Madrigal's with Mirabel and families with siblings or members with special needs or disabilities, but honestly thats a whole different post).

5. Isabela

Just need to take a hot sec to talk about Isabela's song because it was a rollercoaster of thoughts in my head. At very first when I saw the cactus I thought 'oh shit, she gonna kill Mirabel so bad for making her grow a cactus' and then when she picked it up I was like 'lol wat?' And then when she started singing I was like 'oh crap, here we go.' Definitely for a hot sec I thought that Isabela was going to become a villain. I thought she would have her sassy, feminist-y, Elsa-esque dance number where she threw off the expectations of her family and realized that she was so much more powerful than them and than they thought she was, and she was going to get all sassy and angry and start laying ruin to them because she was so much more than they thought she was. But THEN! SHOCK of all SHOCKS! Instead of using that super toxic feminist trope that you must be angry at everyone for everything, we got a super cute and sweet sister song. I was so pleasantly surprised that instead of an 'I have been FORCED into making FLOWERS which are UGLY and I am a REBEL' song from Isabela, we got a 'dang, everybody always wanted me to make perfect flowers, but these other colors and plants are also pretty and express me much better, and I would love to make things that I also think are beautiful, just in a different way.' And like, the way that she sang and danced with Mirabel and they goofed off together (MOST realistic sister vibes in Encanto were them being snarky and hating each other all movie, and then bursting out into elaborate song and dance and having an absolute bomb time together with flowers and colorful explosions) put new life into me. This song pretended to be rebellious and wild, but was actually so cute and wholesome (just like older sisters but hey).

6. Luisa

I'm actually going to make a whole post for Luisa because I have so much to say about her, so look out for that. I'll put a link here when I post it.

Whelp, that's it for now y'all! In conclusion, watch Encanto, tell your family you love them, laugh, cry, create a bucket-wearing alter-ego who spackles walls, whatever it is you do. I'll probably have more Encanto thoughts someday and if I do, I'll add them onto this post. Congrats Disney, you actually impressed me.

[blackstarising]

ok i promised myself up and down i wouldn’t make posts like this anymore for my own mental health but i’ve been seeing a lot of, uh, takes in regards to the potential of sarah and bucky dating and a lot of confusion to why these takes are racist, insulting and hurtful, especially to black people. and for me? well, i won't lie, it's personal.

what non-black people need to understand is that positive portrayals of interracial romantic relationships between dark-skinned black women (yes, dark skinned) and non-black men are extremely uncommon in media. for example, can you think about any recent fictional portrayals of relationships of this kind? maybe rick and michonne from the walking dead? or abbie and ichabod from sleepy hollow? great, because those are the only two that i can think of off the top of my head.

okay, now how many of those relationships ended happily?

right.

as a next point, why do i highlight ‘dark-skinned’? because of colorism. you’ve probably seen that word thrown around a lot more in the past year. colorism is the discrimination within ethnic groups between those with lighter colored skin (and more eurocentric features and hair texture, i’m folding in featurism and texturism for ease) and those with darker skin.

the way this plays out in visual media is that it’s much more common to see lighter skinned black women in roles than darker skinned black women. when i was growing up, this was evident in both white-produced AND black-produced media. that’s so raven. sister sister. my wife and kids. the proud family, even. and to make it worse, it wasn’t uncommon for dark skinned black women in shows like these to be portrayed as unattractive, uncultured, or straight up bullies.

this isn’t me saying that we shouldn’t see light skinned or biracial black women in media. i want to emphasize that their life experiences and the pressures they have are different from mine. but i know that, because of colorism, i grew up thinking that the absence of Eurocentric features and a non Eurocentric body meant i was not beautiful and not worthy to be seen. and these truths can coexist. this is not an uncommon wound of colorism.

i say all this to say that for bucky barnes, a white man, to flirt with sarah wilson, a dark skinned black woman, is not the same as ‘just another het ship’. it is positive representation in its own right.

now, i’ve been in fandom for years. i’ve encountered this before. and i’ve encountered this enough to know that truthfully, these kind of ships make people truly uncomfortable and sometimes these people do a bad job of hiding it. what reason, i can’t say. if you ask me, i suspect part of the discomfort comes non-black people realizing they can’t project onto the black person in the ship in the same way they’re used to. i could be wrong. but i’ve been around enough to see a lot of pretzeling and back bending to discredit these sorts of relationships that don’t seem to come up for similar pairings if that same black woman was now white. and i’m seeing it again here, so i wanted to break down the most common takes i’ve either seen or i suspect i’ll see soon and break them down to explain why exactly you’ve been getting irritated replies and why they’re hurtful.

“bucky’s flirting with sarah to make sam jealous.” without thinking about it, this is actually a funny trope. sibling rivalry and all that. and you’re right, bucky doesn’t have to be attracted to sarah, and maybe you ship sambucky instead. but what if he can still find her attractive? this take subtly discredits the idea that bucky could find sarah attractive in her own right - there has to be some ulterior motive in order to explain it, yeah?

“bucky repeated sarah’s name like that because sarah was steve’s mom’s name.” we do know bucky knows steve’s mom’s name! but again, this feels like a lot of reaching to again, rework bucky’s potential attraction to sarah in a different context so it’s not actually genuine. in this case, he doesn’t like her, she just makes him think of his dead best friend’s mom, right?

“sarah’s so strong and badass, she doesn’t need a man! she deserves better.” okay. what does ‘deserving better’ actually mean? why can’t a potentially fulfilling relationship for sarah, a hardworking widow with two children, be deserving better? this also plays into the Strong Black Woman myth, in which black women are just So Strong and Self Sufficient and Powerful they don’t need anything! not even social aid! or protection! or love! or mental health support! let me be clear, this trope is not fun for us, it’s not a positive, it’s a burden that allows society to justify not protecting black women.

“this seems kind of forced/crowbarred in to me.” maybe, but also, in the episode, they really just said 'hi' to one another. now if sam had caught them making out on the boat two seconds after they met, that would have raised my eyebrows, but they just said 'hi'. some people are interpreting that as flirtatious - i'm one of them. but again, using words like 'crowbar' and 'force' or 'shove' make it seem like bucky's attraction to sarah is irrational.

now, here’s what i’m not saying. i’m not threatening you to ship bucky and sarah Or Else. you don't have to. i do. i think it’s fun! but that’s my choice. you don’t have to make that choice. you could be shipping someone else with either sarah or bucky and you don't want something to get in the way of that, i get it. i'm also not saying that sarah needs bucky's validation to be considered beautiful, far from it. what i’m saying is it’s worth it to evaluate the ways that implicit racism is affecting and influencing your responses to interracial relationships with black people, and especially black women in the media. because even if you might not see it, there are those of us who can. why can't the prospect of a white man flirting with a dark skinned black women be taken at face value? maybe sit with that.

sources for further reading the roots of colorism, or skin tone discrimination the walking dead's new power couple: 'richonne' and fandom racism fanlore breakdown of 'what shipping richonne taught me about racism' black women and the thin line between strong and angry post on black womanhood and feminism what is featurism? black hair and mental health: a tale of texturism fandom and the intersection of feminism and race "weak black women" by robin thede (for giggles) the take's 'the strong black woman, explained' (yet to watch but the take hasn't failed me yet)

[gentil-minou]

Puppeteer 2 is one of the best episodes for relationship development of the series

this is once again a plea for the fandom to get over a minute long statue scene that is honestly kinda funny to enjoy some of the beauties of the rest of this episode. I've seen so many people, even people who don't salt say this episode is a pass when you should definitely watch it if you love the love square

this is one of the best love square development episodes of the series and i see so many people discredit ot not realizing that all the salty takes on how the love square is a bad ship would be discredited by this episode and just....it's a banger of an episode

under a read more cause this post got long

for starters, the core 4 and djwifi interactions are godtier

THEN THERES MR SHE'S JUST A FRIEND AGRESTE BEING SO SAD AT THE IDEA THAT MARINETTE DOESN'T LIKE HIM

He values her friendship so much and is absolutely devastated that she doesn't feel the same way and so he spends the rest of the episode trying to make her like him because he just cannot bear marinette dupain cheng not liking him

look at them how could you not want to know why the tension in the elevator is so palpable

and

THE ADRINETTE IS SO GOOD THOUGH AHH

we have adrien who genuinely just wants to be friends with marinette and marinette catastrophizing up a storm and see them both lose braincells cause adrien is like oh i'll just play a prank like when i do it to ladybug that always works but it doesn and then the best part of the episode is THEY TALK ABOUT IT

and mari makes up another excuse for why she doesn't like him as more than a friend, but she does reassure him that they are friends, she just doesn't me like him more than friends, and honestly this is where she dug her own grave yes but think about how HAPPY adrien is to have a friend and especially one marinette dupain cheng to be that friend. we know how important friends are to him and i can't deal with the idea that for so long he wasn't sure if mari like him even as just a friend but this time she confirmed it and just ahhhhh

i'm also a sucker for adrien protecting mari scenes okay, and seeing him fence hawkmoth is some pretty exciting stuff (and dare i say some potential foreshadowing? >.>)

*ahem* LADRIEN

LOOK AT THEM SAVE EACH OTHERSSGFDJLGD

the ladynoir interactions are also so good btw like for real this bit:

CN: The worse the situation, the more amazing I realize you are!

LB: How do you do that?

CN: Do what?

LB: If I mean so much to you, how is it so easy for you to say these nice things to me, even in bad situations? The really important things are the hardest to say, aren't they?

CN: It's precisely when it's important that it's important to say it!

THIS IS THE ENTIRE REASON WHY LADYBUG NEEDS CHAT AS HER PARTNER, THIS IS IT. HE GROUNDS HER AND MAKES HER REALIZE SHE DOESN'T NEED TO OVERCOMPLICATE OR CATASTRAPHIZE. THIS HERE IS WHY CHAT IS JUST AS POWERFUL AS LADYBUG HES THE ONLY ONE SHE CAN FEEL SAFE AND REASSURED BY.

also I don't have time to explain but this was also genuinely the best rehash of an akuma because those wax statues coming to life and pretending to be LB and CN had me terrified.

and we end with this interaction, somehow both heartlifting and heartbreaking:

M: I shouldn't have kissed that statue. I didn't know it was you, if I had it wouldn't have neem a prank because—

A: No, no! It's my fault! When you left the workshop, I was so worried you were mad at me it made me do this prank and...

M: Of course I wasn't mad! I'm sorry I made you believe that.

A: Is that true? We're still friends?

M: Of course! But maybe we should stop playing pranks on each other!

A: *laughs* I know, I'm not good with jokes. The girl I'm in love with doesn't like them.

M: The girl...you're...you're in love with

LOOK AT THEM BEING ALMOST HONEST BUT THEY CANT CAUSE THE LOVE SOMEONE ELSE BUT THE PERSON THE LOVE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM AND I JUST I CANT DEAL THIS IS WHY THE LOVE SQUARE IS SO GOOD THIS IS WHY I SHIP THEM SO HARD

i promise, once you get over that 1 minute scene this episode is one of the absolute best and worth far more than any momentary cringe. come on friend i know you can do it

[wynndynights]

Hey hey hey!!! I saw the requests open and I'm curious if you could write a Hanma Shuji fluff alphabet. I'm in love with him sm!! Thank youuu!!!

I absolutely could. Surprise surprise you get to wake up to this post because I know your sleep schedule, bestie 😗

~Shuji Hanma Fluff Alphabet~

Warnings: Potentially a bit OOC but I did my best and this is honestly how I see him being in a relationship, Swearing, canon-typical mentions of violence, a lot of crack-fluff, one Kisaki related manga spoiler in F if you know you know, mostly gender neutral reader aside from talking about periods in W, spaghetti man, me bullying hanma, hanma being an absolute gahtdahm menace.

Reader is implied to be shorter than Hanma. He's frickle fracking tall. If you're taller than him, please be my friend I want to actually feel short for once.

Please don't kill me for some of this I swear I don't hate Hanma I just bully him affectionately.

Let me know if I missed anything

~~~

A- Affection (how affectionate are they?)

Clingy little shit at any and all times. Hugs you out of nowhere, smothers you in kisses, picks you up and carries you around for no given reason, smacks your ass out of nowhere, etc. Snuggles you constantly any time you're at home together. He likes having you sit in his lap and wrapping his arms and legs around you like the lanky spaghetti noodle he is. You're trapped there and you aren't moving until he lets you. 

B- Baby (how do they feel about kids? Would they ever want to start a family?)

Surprisingly, he would probably not mind having children. He definitely wouldn't be the greatest father in the world, but he would try his best. He'd do his best to tone down the crazy a bit to raise his kid to be the best person possible, and would honestly probably be their best friend and biggest supporter. He's definitely the favorite parent. Is that a good or a bad thing? Who knows, probably both, but the point is that he's shockingly good with kids. 

C- Cuddles (do they like cuddling? What's their favorite cuddling position?) 

I said it before I'll say it again, he is a tall spaghetti man and likes wrapping his long-ass limbs around you. Laying, sitting, even standing if you can hold his weight, he likes latching onto you like an oversized koala and burying his face in your neck. When it comes to laying down at least, koala pose usually eventually loosens into spooning.

D- Dates (what's their favorite place to take you on a date?)

Prefers at home dates to going out. Most of the time dates consist of hanging out indoors and watching movies or playing video games. When you do decide to actually go out, it's usually either on a motorcycle ride around the city, or an arcade date or something or that variety. 

E- Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?) 

Can get a bit defensive about emotions. He likes acting tough in front of you, so if anything ever is wrong, it usually takes some force to get him to talk about what's bothering him. Just take away his cuddling/affection privileges and he should get talking almost immediately. Joking aside, when he does open up about feelings, make sure he knows you're there for him and just want to help him, because it is something that he has a very hard time with. 

F- Feelings (when did they first realize their feelings for you?)

For most of his life, he wasn't really focused on finding any sort of relationship. He was too focused on his gang duties and chasing thrills and excitement, so the thought of dating didn't really cross his mind much until you came along. When you did though, wow the feels hit him like a truck looking at you, Kisaki. Instantly head over heels. He thought you were one of the coolest people and wasted no time in chasing your attention. 

G- Gentle (how gentle are they with you?)

He knows how to be gentle when he needs to, but he's usually really not. He would never intentionally hurt you, but he's very playfully rough. Likes tackling you and play-fighting a lot. Will very lightly punch or elbow you to get your attention a lot or will just straight up pick you up and swing you around if you're ignoring him. Also absolutely a "my love language is  b i t i n g" type of person. 

H- Holding Hands (when and where do they like holding hands? How do they hold hands?)

He probably prefers having an arm thrown over your shoulder or a hand on your hip or waist if you're out walking around places. It keeps anyone from even thinking about trying to approach you, which is a win for him, but if you want to hold his hand, he will happily allow you to do so. 

I- Introduction (how did you first meet them? What were both your first impressions?)

Got a little carried away with this one. May just have to turn it into its own lil oneshot story

Met you while out at an arcade with a few friends from his gang. He was just messing around and ended up getting into a very heated competition with you. You kicked his ass, and even though his friends were making fun of him for it, he was too busy being a massive simp to care. Even though in most cases he probably would've made some excuse for his loss or challenged you to a rematch, he instead offered to buy you dinner somewhere for your victory. Ditched his friends to do so the moment you accepted. You were more interesting anyways. 

You found him to be a little bit too loud and reckless at first, but after you hung out and got to know him more, that became more of a charming aspect. Hanging out with him was never boring, and you quickly found yourself joining him on many of his weird thrill seeking adventures until he eventually asked you on an official date. 

J- Jealousy (how easily do they get jealous, and how do they react?) 

Gets jealous extremely easily, but also not really too worried about it. He's an intimidating person, and he's well aware of that fact. All it takes if someone is trying to flirt with you is him walking up behind you and wrapping an arm around you, and they're usually gone.

In the unfortunate case that anyone decides to be just a little too persistent, he's not at all afraid to either beat them up on the spot, make out with you in front of them until they leave, or both if he really feels like it

K- Kisses (What are their kisses like)

Annoying-ass tease. If you want kisses, he'll stand at his full height and make you come up to his level to get them, even if you have to climb him like a tree to do so. The effort is definitely worth it though, because for someone who never worried much about relationships before, this man is a shockingly good kisser. He'll kiss you until your heart feels like it's going to beat out of your chest and you forget how to breathe for a minute, and then he'll just laugh at you like it's nothing when he pulls away.

L- Love (who said I love you first? How?)

Probably him, and it was probably in such a stupidly annoying but yet cute way. You had a lot of studying to do and were extremely focused, leaving him to sulk around like a sad neglected puppy. He kept tugging on your sleeve and complaining about not getting attention until he finally pulled the "I love you" to catch your attention. But like- in the most annoyingly whiney voice possible. You put your work aside just long enough to give him a short kiss and tell him you loved him too. That satisfied him just long enough to allow you to finish your work before he scooped you up and trapped you with cuddles for the rest of the night. 

M- Marriage (how do they feel about marriage?)

Not an immediate priority, because he doesn't think it's super necessary. He already loves you more than anything or anyone else in the world, what point is filling out a bunch of paperwork to prove it? However, if you express any interest in wanting to marry him, he is one hundred percent on board and will absolutely make it happen.

N- Nicknames (what do you call each other)

S p a g h e t t i   m a n.

Most nicknames are just the two of you throwing stupidly creative and unnecessary insults back and forth in the most affectionate tones possible, but you do have your moments where you'll call each other cute pet names. Baby, Baby girl, Beautiful, and Princess are some of the more common ones he'll call you, while you often call him Shu, as well as the occasional Babe or Handsome.

O- On cloud nine (how do they act when they're in love? Is it obvious, or are they discreet about it?) 

Again, he becomes an absolute smitten puppy dog. Basically his every waking thought is centered around you, and he will openly and shamelessly brag about you and show you off to anyone and everyone, wanting to make it clear to the entire world that you are his, and he loves you, and you love him. 

P- PDA (how do they feel about making their relationship known? How affectionate are they in public?)

Zero shame. He'll kiss you in public, he'll smack or grab your ass in public, he'll throw you over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes and spin you around in front of a crowd just for the hell of it. He does not care who is watching. He especially likes being overly affectionate if you're ever around other members of his gang. 

Q- Quirky (random goofy relationship headcanon)

This has happened on multiple occasions. If you're ever just lounging around the house, whether it's on the bed, on a couch, on the floor, etc, if you lay on your stomach, he will sneak up on you and just bite your ass. Right on the gahtdahm buttcheek. For no given reason. And then he'll just get up and walk away like nothing happened and never talk about it again. 

R- Romance (how romantic are they in a relationship?)

A lot more goofy than serious and romantic. He certainly knows how to be cliche romantic if that's what you want, but he prefers to show he loves you in his own much more unique ways. Living life on the edge together is what shows you both how much you love and are devoted to each other, and he'd prefer that over any stereotypical love story any day.

S- Support (how supportive are they or your goals and dreams? How do they help you achieve them?)

Supportive honestly probably to a fault. He will try anything and everything once. Even if it's just something small you want to try, he's trying it with you. You have some horribly impulsive bad idea at 3 am that you bring up to him? He's probably encouraging you and ready and willing to do whatever it is right along with you. Ready to do anything to help you with any goals and dreams you might have.

T- Talk (how good are they at communicating with you?)

Not the best when it comes to communicating. Again, you usually have to make an active effort to get him to talk about anything serious or important with you. He lives his life on impulse, so it's not easy for him sitting down to talk anything through, especially if it's a subject that makes him feel weak or vulnerable in any way. You have to show him that there's no judgement on either end and that it's okay and necessary to talk things through sometimes before he'll be willing to try. 

U- Understanding (how well do they know you?)

He knows you extremely well, and anything he doesn't know, he makes an active effort to learn. He wants to know as much about you as he can so that he can be the best possible boyfriend. Sometimes he can be a bit oblivious in some areas of life, but if you explain something to him, he'll make sure to commit every little detail you tell him to memory.

V- Value (how important is their relationship to them?) 

Honestly he probably values you and his relationship with you more than his own life. As much as he may be an asshole at times and be a bit hard to handle, he doesn't know what he would be without you, and he's grateful every day that you've stayed with him through it all. He's well aware of the fact that he's a bit over the top sometimes, and the fact that you can love him through that just makes him fall more and more in love with you every day.

W- Wild card (random fluffy headcanon)

Surprisingly an absolute king when it comes to taking care of you on your period. He'll go out and buy anything you need without caring what other people think about it. He'll get you all your favorite snacks, heat up a water bottle for you, and then lay in bed with you all day playing with your hair, massaging your stomach, and giving you soft forehead kisses. It's probably just about the only time that he's willing to fully tone down his energy and focus entirely on taking care of you.

Y- Yearning (how well do they cope with being away from you)

Not well at all. Mans is so clingy it's painful. He can handle being away from you for like a day for meetings or fights or whatever he may have going on, but he'll become a bit of a wreck after much longer than a day or two. As long as he can call you every day he should manage, but he just wants to be back home holding you in his arms as soon as possible.

Z- Zzz (how is it sharing a bed with them?)

Back again we go to either koala or spooning. There are very few alternatives unless you can manage to get him to fall asleep before you and then climb into bed afterwards, but even then he'll usually latch onto you in his sleep. Luckily it isn't too difficult to wiggle away if needed though. The only way to wake him up before he wakes up on his own is either kissing him awake, or just full force throwing yourself on top of him.

~~~~~

I realized after finishing this particular Alphabet that I was missing X in this one and the one posted previously. I will shamelessly continue missing X in future alphabets unless someone has a suggestion for an X word that makes sense because Xylophone does not count. Anyway thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Have a lovely day 💖💖

[cutekittenlady]

Emmet and Elesa in Hisui Part 3

((finally got his out. Doesnt have all the info I've thought up, but theres some dramatic fun in this one))

Part: 1, 2, 3

Getting back on the bandwagon here in the last post we had Emmet and Elesa capturing the nobles not realizing they werent just strong wild pokemon but sacred to the people of hisui. This ended up getting Ingo into hot water resulting in the player character needing to investigate the disappearances in an attempt to clear Ingo’s name. Eventually after a few run ins with Elesa and meeting other folks whove seen the “other ingo” the player character, probably with a witness, finally met and fought(?) Emmet for themselves before he ran off. Ingos name thus cleared, the warden ended up tagging along with the player character to the coronet highlands to find out whats actually going on.

This took awhile to think through but I think by the time the story reaches this point Elesa would have begun to develop more and more doubts about what they’re doing. She still has no idea that the nobles are sacred, but she has suspicions about the person who brought them back in time. The two are polite but very obviously don’t trust one another.

Elesa doesnt like how many vague excuses this person gives about all the questions she has regarding why they can’t just talk to the local people and doesnt fully believe the “cant distrupt the timeline” explanation if only because, if that’s the case, then they’ve already done so by capturing all these ultra powerful pokemon. Hell, an argument could be made about “disrupting the timeline” by taking any pokemon back to the future with them at all!

She tries voicing her concerns to Emmet. But whenever they’re back at basecamp the man (really need to come up with a name for this person. Might just call them ‘villain’ since thats basically their role) always seems to be around so that the two aren’t alone together when they’re not actively “out in the field”. And when theyre “out in the field” she doesn’t really get a chance to talk to Emmet about her concerns because of how focused Emmet is and because of how much the dangerous land of Hisui demands that they remain fully alert at all times.

What this results in is Elesa being in the perfect state of mind to be sympathetic when the Hisuian Electrode shes supposed to catch up in the highlands ends up being way stressed after sensing the disturbances amongst the other nobles. Emmet is not there to help her as they had both split up to try and capture the two targeted pokemon in the highlands (electrode and sneasler) and recently their “employer” (the villain) has been urging them to hurry along with capturing them. Claiming that, for various reasons, they need to hurry up and catch the rest of the nobles.

((Maybe he claims he wants to minimize the amount of time in the past to ‘limit the potential for damage’ tho Elesa is suspicious about that claim))

Emmet, for his part, is eager to get this all finished and done with. They’ve already captured six of the ten total pokemon they were instructed to capture, and Emmet wants to hurry and catch the final four so that their employer will help him find Ingo as soon as possible. Hence he recommends they split up here since Elesa is a master of the electric type and, from what their employer told them, Sneasler is a devil to track and find.

Elesa reluctantly agrees, if only because she just wants all of this to be over and done with as soon as possible so they can go home. However, when she does find Electrode is on the verge of exploding the top of the mountain off because of how stressed it is.

Meanwhile Melli ends up coming across Emmet who he mistakes for Ingo and attacks. Melli not having been present for the clearing of Ingo’s name with the last update he got being about Ingo being under suspicion and locked up in Jubilife Village. So when he sees Emmet walking around, and not having gotten any news about Ingo being innocent or being sent to the highlands for any reason, he concludes he must have escaped and attacks with the goal of apprehending him in order to protect Electrode and Sneasler.

Emmet… wins pretty easily tbh. And he is not afraid to say so. Melli tries to talk back but Emmet is already a good distance away before he can recover from the shock. This leaves him being rather upset.

Which is how the player character and Ingo and co end up finding him after arriving in the highlands.

Melli is furious and goes in on Ingo with a level of vitriol he hasn’t really displayed before. Telling him he won’t let him hurt Lord Electrode and that if he wants to get past him he’ll have to sick his “weird eel thing” on him personally. Adaman manages to calm Melli down enough for them to learn he just had a run in with the person who looks like Ingo. Melli doesn’t really get a full explanation of everything thats going on though as he announces he has to go to the moonview arena to make sure Electrode doesnt explode. (He was in the middle of getting Electrodes favorite foods in an attempt to calm it down.)

Confused Adaman and co chase after Melli to the moonview arena. Ingo is now just as confused as Melli. As they near the arena Melli stops and demands to know why they hadn’t taken Ingo away insisting that he attacked him. Adaman points out that Ingo has been with them the whole way to the coronet highlands and once again tries to get Melli to tell them about the person who looks like Ingo.

Before Melli can really respond tho there’s a big boom heard from the Moonview Arena and Melli takes off.

Once there Melli ends up finding Elesa attempting to soothe the very stressed out Electrode whose on the verge of exploding. Melli has never seen Elesa before and has no idea who she is, and actually tries to get her away from Electrode. However she tells him to sit down and shut up while she works with Electrode. The gang ends up catching up and arriving right as it seems Electrode is about to explode but Elesa successfully calms it down, preventing it from exploding and indirectly saving the coronet highlands from a massive explosion.

((At this point I have a personal rather jokey idea that Melli develops a sorta fanboy-esque crush on Elesa. Its not really love as much as admiration both for her beauty and the way she was able to handle electrode. Feel free to ignore this cause its not important I just thought it would be one of those things thats sweet and kinda funny since Melli is easily one of the goofiest of the wardens and hes the one I see mostly likely to do such a thing.

Lol but thats just me. It can be ignored as its hardly an essential plot point))

Of course the feelings of goodwill don’t last long as Elesa captures Electrode right in front of the gang then and there.

Adaman angrily demands she let Electrode go, but Elesa is just about to ignore him and rush out with Zebstrika…

But then she sees Ingo.

Elesa’s entire projected personality changes in a moment. Outright shouts Ingo’s name and asking if its really him. Going on about how happy she is to see hes alive and how overjoyed Emmet is going to be to see him.

Ingo is crazy overwhelmed by this. This random woman knows him? The one who's been kidnapping all the nobles… knows him?!

Elesa is sensitive enough to pick up that something is wrong and asks Ingo point-blank why he won’t say anything to her.

At which point Ingo admits he doesnt remember her.

This stuns Elesa who asks if he’s serious. When Ingo fails to respond she demands to know if he remembers Nimbasa City. The Subway. His pokemon. Chandelure.

But when Ingo fails to respond to any of it, she finally asks, practically begging him, if he at the very least remembers Emmet.

Finally Ingo responds that he has no idea who that is.

All this is enough to keep Elesa from running away and giving Adaman time to ask her why she captured their noble. Breaking from her shock all Elesa can do in response is ask what he means.

Adaman is a nice guy. He really is. But after all this confusing garbage and having just watched one of his clans precious nobles being captured in a pokeball, basically shouts at Elesa how she can possibly not know what shes been doing to the diamond and pearl clans this whole time. He’s practically about to attack her with his Leafeon.

However thanks to his outburst Elesa is finally given context for what they’re doing, and further explanation by the others present causes her to realize… Ingo is sneaslers warden.

Sneasler.

The pokemon Emmets gone after.

Elesa suddenly shouts that she HAS to stop Emmet, before getting on Zebstrika and rushing past the group. Ingo finally gets over his own shock to realize… only Elesa is present, and all reports said there were two of them. And Lady Sneasler is off on her own.

He takes off to where he knows she’ll be leaving the others behind.

Emmet, meanwhile, has finally managed to hunt the noble pokemon down…

[dikanamai]

Let’s talk about “We don’t talk about Bruno”

I've been postponing this due to the lack of time for writing long posts, but since I mentioned it in yesterday's post, let's talk about Encanto's greatest hit and its potential interpretations instead of focusing on work, lol.

A lot has already been said about We don't talk about Bruno, and I've read many interesting and super good analysis of the song and its possible meaning. First things first: no, I don't think this is just a song to shit on Bruno because everybody hates him, I think this is far more complex than that. And every single person who intervenes in the song has their own motivations and had their own relationship with the missing fortuneteller, showing a different side of how he was (or how he's remembered) as a person.

So, please, if you're interested, join me in this (long) journey through this intricate tapestry of mixed feeling and strong emotions XD

Pepa and the wedding incident

I want to focus especially on this part, because it's the most interesting for me and also the one I've seen misinterpreted more frequently. Let's start with some important context: Pepa's feelings towards Bruno are the strongest ones in this song, because he's her brother. She's the one with the closest relationship with him and the one who knows him the most, because they grew up together since birth. Among all the people who participate in WDTAB, Pepa is the one who has more reasons to be hurt by his departure and also the one who is constantly forced to suppress and bottle up her emotions, which means she probably never had the chance to mourn her brother or process properly what had happened. This being said, being angry at Bruno is probably the better way she found to cope with those feelings, and I bet she's one of the firmest defenders of the "we don't talk about Bruno" thing, along with Alma (as many people have pointed already).

But… is she really angry about the wedding incident?

The scene previous to the song is also very important. When Pepa hears Mirabel mentioning Bruno, she loses her temper in a very strong way. Three times she has to push away her cloud, because she obviously doesn't bear even thinking about him. But Mirabel keeps pushing the subject, and then Félix show up suddenly to intervene, and the mood changes right away.

I love how he storms into the room, btw; I like to think he was downstairs with Dolores preparing for the visits, till she said something like "Papi, Mira's asking mami about tío Bruno in the nursery", and he bolted immediately upstairs to prevent the disaster. Because that's what he does. How, if he's the one who keeps talking about Bruno instead of shushing Mirabel? Exactly, he keeps talking about Bruno and so he redirects Mira's attention towards himself and takes the reins of the conversation, so Pepa can stop feeling cornered by her niece, who isn't realizing she's touching a very sore spot.

Everyone uses to remark how Camilo is the only one having the time of his life singing this song, but look at the face of this man, please.

He's putting up a show too, even using a mysterious tone pretty similar to the one Bruno himself uses later with that "It was your viiiision, Mirabel, not miiiine". He's not mad at Bruno in the slightest, he doesn't resent him, and notice he's talking about Bruno's visions, not Bruno per se: "he would see something terrible and then, BOOM!, it would happen". This has the same vibe as teasing Agustín for being accident-prone. And with this I want to drag your attention to the fascinating world of FAMILY BANTER.

I'll tell you a personal story as example. About 25 years ago, someone (the culprit never confessed their crime) threw away a little bottle full of seeds of my mom's favorite plants, that she was lovingly reserving for our garden. It's the stupidest thing ever, but she got SUPER MAD at all of us, to the point she kept bringing the subject up again and again every now and then. And, after a while, it turned into one of the most used running gags of the family, and even now it's pretty common for us ending any stupid argument with a "YEAH, LIKE THE SEEDS". It's been 25 years and, when the thing is mentioned, mom IS STILL GENUINELY SALTY ABOUT IT, but at the same time she knows it's something super ridiculous, so we laugh together about it. It's pure and mere teasing. And though this example is about a nonsense, there are things pretty more serious in the family that have been turned into running gags too, because time gives you perspective, and something that upset you deeply when you were 20 can make you laugh when you're 40. It's not impossible to be salty about something and joke about it at the same time.

For me, this is what the wedding incident represents. By refusing to stop talking about Bruno, Félix gives Pepa room to stop repressing her own feelings and to allow herself remember her brother and talk about him. And what's the thing she chooses to share? The wedding's fiasco, like "you wanna talk about my bro, I'm gonna tell you his greatest hit".

Both Pepa and Félix start telling the story with a very dramatic display, but Félix goes :D almost right away and, though Pepa keeps her pose a little longer, she's obviously enjoying to be finally able to share the story too. She's jokingly mimicking Bruno's "mischievous grin" (can you imagine Bruno walking in with that silly tone again like "Peeepa, it looks like raaaain"?, because I can picture him perfectly XD), she's constantly smiling, she only gets annoyed at Félix interrupting her (Félix, who's constantly smiling too), she doesn't look actually mad at all. She knows Bruno was joking and she doesn't blame him for the hurricane, she blames him for the joke. She says it literally: "Bruno says 'it looks like rain', and in doing so he floods my brain". She's admitting she lost her nerves and released a hurricane at his joke. And don't tell me Bruno didn't go like "oopsie :_D" and Pepa didn't go like "YOU FUCKING IDIOT" while they were walking down the aisle under the rain, because this shit surely went immediately to the top list of Madrigal's gaffes that compose the family's mythology. This is the kind of anecdote people tell again and again at family reunions, at Christmas, at parties, at whatever celebration, in a very theatrical way, just as Pepa and Félix do in WDTAB. And of course Pepa would be super upset THAT day and probably she's still genuinely salty, because this is far more serious than a lost bottle of seeds; but it's something they also remember dearly. They're having fun remembering it. "What a joyous day", Félix says, and Pepa is smiling, because it was indeed a joyous day, after all.

Bruno left more than ten years after this incident, they had plenty of time to talk about it, I bet he told Pepa a million times "it was a joke!", and it probably turned into a running gag too every time they argued, with Pepa like "what are you gonna do, ruin my wedding AGAIN?". Because that's how family banter works. You never stop reminding your siblings of their most embarrassing mistakes. And I can imagine Pepa being the kind of sister who probably teased Bruno with things like "whoa, your visions suck", as he probably teased her about her mood swings, and she teased him for being so short, and he teased her for being so tall, and so on.

What's the problem, then? The problem is Bruno isn't there anymore. Bruno left, and then all the good, ridiculous, funny or tender memories shared over the years got poisoned. Because your brother's gone. You can't tease him, you can't laugh with him, you can't argue with him, you can't share your life with him. And that HURTS af. It's even worse in Pepa's case, since she's forced to not speak about her brother and she can't afford even thinking about him without risking her self-control. How long had it been since the last time she was able to sit and tell the story of how his bro's joke fucked up her wedding, and laugh about it instead of feeling like crap? She can't talk about Bruno, she's not allowed to. And that's why people saying Pepa's destroying Bruno in this song with her irrational hate piss me off. What hate? She's seizing the moment to tell us one of the most memorable memories of her brother, she's telling us her wedding was a mess and even so by the end of the story she can't stop smiling. They have given her the chance to remember Bruno again in a funny way, not hurtful. You can argue she's implying her brother was an asshole, but please, at least acknowledge she's saying it in an affectionate way, not hateful. Even in the last scene of the song, when everyone's "dancing" around Mirabel, Pepa and Félix look cheerful and happy singing about the wedding. They don't hate Bruno at all.

Bruno bringing up the wedding incident later in All of you doesn't have to mean they've never talked about it in the last 20 years, it's just a narrative device, because:

a) It's something previously mentioned in the movie that the audience can recognize.

b) It's an indirect way to tell us Bruno was a perceptive guy, always aware of what was the family's problem (they were repressing their emotions too much), but failed to communicate it to them.

c) And it's the perfect excuse to include the mandatory reference to Let it go (yes, I hate this one, but it's what it is).

All of you is a 100% symbolic song, even more than any of the others. And, as many details of the movie, can't be analyze in a literal way.

Grandkids roundup

Recently, I saw someone mentioning how WDTAB depicts perfectly the progressive decay of Bruno's reputation in town, and that's a super clever observation and 100% true: first, Pepa talking about how her brother was originally a mischievous prankster (or, if you prefer, an insightful guy) whose jokes/observations were easily misunderstood and often leaded to self-fulfilled "prophecies". Second, Dolores talking about how people struggled more and more trying to understand his prophecies (and failing). And finally, Camilo talking about the exaggerated distorted image of his tío, created by the rumors and people's paranoia towards him. They represent three different stages of Bruno's life and three different kinds of people: the ones who knew him closely, the ones who knew him briefly and the ones that only know the rumors.

But, metaphors aside, Dolores' part is also super interesting in a more literal way. As a lot of people have pointed out before (me included), she is the most sympathetic towards Bruno. It's open to interpretation, but I think her verses reference in-walls Bruno since the beginning, talking about her fear of hear him "stuttering or stumbling" (aka, losing his mind or moving behind the walls) or the fact that she hears him every day. I read once someone saying the sound of the spackle is similar to the sound of falling sand too, implying Dolores can hear Bruno literally patching the cracks of Casita (which is also true). But my favorite verses are the last ones:

Always left Abuela and the family fumbling Grappling with prophecies they couldn't understand

Why? Because she uses "they" instead of "we". She excludes herself from "the family". She's not one of those who "couldn't understand". So she admits she does understand Bruno, and also tells Mirabel directly he left because the rest of the family wasn't going to understand his vision. And she looks very interested in her cousin to understand that point.

Camilo's part is just he messing with Mirabel, and Jared Bush himself explained Camilo is joking and exaggerating due to his theater-kid nature, so there's nothing more to say. Though I personally think his part is also a good reference to Bruno's dramatic nature too. Camilo is performing, and I think he probably remembers (even if it's just deep inside) Bruno also performing for them. But this is just a headcanon.

Finally, Isa's part is mostly a foreshadowing of her arc in the movie. She tells us Bruno showed her the life of her dreams, but the life of her dreams is directly linked to her powers and its growth, not with love/marriage/children. Isa has probably spent her whole life wondering what else could she do, wanting to do more, but she's totally repressed and stuck in her perfect façade. Her dream is to be free, and she looks distressed at the end of the song (the "I'm fine" part with Dolores) because her tío's prophecy, despite being a good omen, hasn't been fulfilled. It's tragic the only good vision mentioned in the song is also the only one that seems to be wrong; but it's also a reminder that not everything Bruno saw was bad. He had good visions too; or, more precisely, he just saw things that could be interpreted in different ways, like every fortuneteller.

Fish lady, gut guy and bald priest

We always say there is no villain in Encanto, but that's not true, the villains in Encanto are the town's people who have spent 50 years torturing the family with their nonsenses XD

Ok, jokes aside, these three randos are the proof that people in town were the main problem for Bruno. They were the ones asking stupid things and the ones getting upset by the answers. The dead fish, the gut and the baldness are such a ridiculous examples of Bruno's bad omens that it's pretty probable they weren't prophecies in the first place, as many people have pointed out before too. This theory ties with the previous mentions of Bruno being insightful but misunderstood, and paints a pretty depressing scenario for him, where even the most casual remark could trigger someone's paranoia.

In a more serious level, this kind of things was probably the actual source of his distress. Because he's a Madrigal and his duty is to help the Encanto, but people were 50/50 amazed and terrified by his powers and his predictions. Warning the town about any danger is a "useful" thing, but years and years of being the town's harbinger is a heavy lift, as Dolores says. He wasn't helping in a positive way, people was always fretting and assuming the worst, and then he started questioning himself, his self-worth, his role, his purpose. And he started getting frustrated and irritated, and that triggered his problems inside the family too. Because running gags like the one about the wedding or the "whoa, your visions suck" weren't funny anymore. Teasing wasn't enjoyable anymore. Misunderstandings were getting heavier and heavier. I've said before that time gives you perspective, but it also can narrow it, and something you were able to laugh about at 20 perhaps is far less laughable at 40, after decades of failures. Especially if Julieta and Pepa were doing their part honoring the miracle and he couldn't. Bruno had to live up to Alma's expectations, but he also had to live up to his own expectations; as Mirabel, he wanted to be helpful and make the family proud, and he wasn't managing. So he started isolating himself and endured it alone, as everyone else in the family, because they have to keep going.

When Bruno is preparing the ritual to repeat Mirabel's vision, the incident he brings up full of salt is the dead goldfish, not Pepa's wedding or any other family thing. He resents the people's behavior towards him and his gift. He never mentions Alma or the family specifically being the problem, he just says "everyone assumes the worst". And of course Alma is part of that "everyone", but everyone is mostly the people in town, as Alma's reactions are directly linked to the town's reactions: if they're happy, she's happy, if they're not, she isn't either, because her life's goal is serving the Encanto. The ridiculous demands and expectations of the people damaged Bruno's self-esteem, damaged his relationship with his family and pushed him into the walls. One thing fuels another, everything is connected. It wasn't just one person's fault; it was everyone's fault.

Final notes: I also love the theory that Bruno told Pepa "it looks like rain" because he knew she was going to blow up with such a repressed tension, and so he could take the blame for ruining the wedding instead of her. I think what happened that day could be a mix of all of this: a simple joke, a brother teasing his sister, a brother helping his sister making it pass as a joke/teasing… But definitely, I think it's a good memory for all of them, and I'll die in this hill. The first thing Bruno does when he reunites with the family is acting like a total clown to make Pepa smile. I'm sure he has done it before, perhaps that was what he always did, before pressure crushed them all.

[fauxxghost]

I'm always, always, always thinking about that moment in The New Teen Titans annual 2 where Dick covered for a man who killed someone (as revenge for the fact that the guy had ordered a hit on him that resulted in his family dying) by pretty much said he didn't know what happened even though there had to have been no question in his mind about who killed the guy.

I feel like people always talk about how Dick killed the Joker, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone talk about this moment, which is, in my opinion, more important because I like to see it as an event that made Dick realize that while he may not condone it, he has enough sympathy/compassion for well-earned acts of revenge that he won't drag someone down for it if they end up following through. And from there it seems like this must have been the catalyst for the conclusion he came to in The New Teen Titans #37 when he told Bruce he can't work professionally with him anymore (and Dick has other reasons for not wanting to work with Bruce, but these 2 moments happen close enough together that I like to read Dick's decision to let Adrian Chase off the hook as a sort of 'final straw' in a decision that was a long time coming).

Now, will Dick still try to talk people out of revenge murders? Absolutely. Like I said, I don't think he condones it, I just think he understands and has some level of compassion for the reasons why people may pursue that course of action. And I just think that this is such a fascinating piece of characterization. I wish it got more acknowledgment, especially because when it comes to that example of Dick killing the Joker, I think it's important to remember that afterwards he had a crisis about the fact that he did it, so I don't think it's actually the best example to show Dick's stance on revenge murders (though I do think it holds relevance to discussion on where his values fall when it comes to his loved ones vs his morals and how he can be pushed to break those morals, but it really adds nothing to the discussion of his stance on revenge murders in general other than reconfirming the fact that he doesn't condone them), whereas this example from The New Teen Titans annual 2 just... It has some interesting potential for analysis on that front.

(This post has been edited)

[lollytea]

hi omg i just wanted to say i read sunshine in your smile the other night and thought it was amazing! your characterization takes such an in depth look at what drives each character and i just loved how much attention you paid to small details like those, especially with the big argument in chapter 5. your interpretation of hunter and willow has honestly been some of the best/my favorite from all the toh fics ive read, and it just has such a unique quality to it that im still thinking about days later. plus, how the huntlow was sort of evident and there the entire time, the story itself focused a bit more on them caring for and learning about each other as both friends and people without needing to lean on the romance to carry the plot? it was SO good and well handled UGHHH because your tags were right!!! two kids who see themselves in each other and form a strong emotional connection.. its such a good premise it was such a good study. sry this is long haha just wanted to say i read ur fic and loved it, youre a really good writer and i hope to see more from you in the future!! have a nice night :~)

AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! This means SO MUCH to me, you don't understand!!! Thank you thank you thank you!! Thank you for feeling like you should tell me this cuz it makes my day so much better!! I WILL cry, I will do it, I'll do it right now

And I'm so so SO happy that you enjoyed the emphasis on their relationship outside of the romantic element because that was really what the fic was all about. It was a direct response to all the people saying huntlow would "ruin" Hunter's character and it was just some hollow "painfully hetero" ship that existed for the sake of cliche shipping. I was trying to show the potential of just what it could actually be. Something that pays respect to both Hunter and Willow as people, as well as being a love letter to both of their characters. And how those personalities really catch fire when they have each other to bounce off of.

Like he had a crush on her from the first chapter but it wasn't supposed to make you think "oh yes he is in love with her. He is her soulmate. They are meant to be together." It was supposed to make you think "Aww this dummy got a crush on a girl after knowing her for a literal day for simple silly reasons because he is sixteen and sixteen year olds are just Like That sometimes." Their mutual crushes are supposed to demonstrate how despite Willow's wisdom and maturity and Hunter's militant personality they're both still kids and are fully capable of being childish and impulsive, without mocking either them for feeling that way. Like at this stage they really don't know each other well at all. But they would really like to.

The crushes clearly grow as the fic goes on as they become more familiar and now the infatuation actually has a stronger foundation. But in the end, it's still shown to be a sweet innocent juvenile thing, not like straight up burning true love or whatever. Willow doesn't give him a flower that means undying devotion or everlasting love or anything like that. It is simple as "I think happiness suits you. Your smile is very pretty." Meanwhile the bond they begin to develop as friends and mirror images of each other is the main character study at play here. It is not so easily slotted into a box of romantic or platonic, its just this indescribable kind of thing. The fic doesn't end with a kiss or a sudden realization of feelings, but rather with them having formed this connection, gaining some perspective of each other and themselves. And sometimes, depending on how the story as a whole is handled, an ending like that can be satisfying enough.

I had a post in my drafts about it but I never posted it cuz I felt I was getting annoying constantly talking about my own fic. But here's some tags on it where I ramble about the angle I was trying to take with it.