#i kept saying ill post it when i add more stuff but

[batsplat]

hello i saw in your tags that you don't think people on here get casey stoner and as someone relatively new into the sport i would love to hear your thoughts <3

(context here) okay first of all, this post will be framed as ‘things I wish people talked about more with regards to casey stoner’, rather than arguing against what I think people think

I've tried to come up with a concise response to this ask but kept heading into thesis-length territory. so I decided to write a bullet point list and it’s still… yeah… but well it could be worse. if you, dear anon, wish to read thousands of words of casey stoner lore then please let me know. otherwise, here are just a few things I find interesting about this bloke:

casey has a very complex relationship with the concept of confidence, both in other riders and himself, in the sense that he KNOWS how important it is but also believes/wishes that he specifically is kinda above all that

this feeds into how he wishes that racing were Just Racing and not all this other stuff… not his brain not his body not other racers being assholes on/off track not talking to journalists or doing photoshoots not having to deal with politics etc etc - central underlying tension of his career

he has openly spoken about not ever really enjoying race day, saying the only thing he's missed after retiring is qualifying. very perfectionist, the anxiety, the over-thinking, craving control… all key casey traits

(which also ties in with the valentino rivalry, because valentino obviously adores racing (in particular wheel-to-wheel battle) but he’s also great at all that other off-track stuff)

some very rigid ideas of How The Sport Should Look, which you can see in everything from how he talks about racing standards to the introduction of CRT riders (he had it OUT for them, head hot every time aleix espargaro shows up in parc fermé) to valentino’s influence on ducati and the importance of the colour red

let him have his mean streak! the grim satisfaction in discussing jorge’s 2008 injuries after his early-season arrogance towards casey, the dismissiveness towards dani, some of the wilder valentino remarks (this isn’t a criticism to be clear, alien-on-alien violence is part of the natural order of things)

casey is a classic case of ‘just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t after you’. definitely a suspicious guy and perpetual underdog 'me against the world' mindset. not to get too psychoanalytic-y, but I reckon this was partly born out of how he had to leave australia as a teenager (with his family completely dependent on him succeeding) because of how the racing establishment down under fucked him over

they definitely were out to get him a lot of the time, cf yamaha and then ducati drama plus the slander from some of the greats of the sport, fellow riders, the media etc etc (particularly egregious in 2009 when he was dealing with his mystery illness and a lot of people said some pretty unpleasant stuff in his absence - here is just one example)

his struggles were constantly downplayed. the chronic fatigue misdiagnosed as lactose intolerance led to people calling him weak-minded, broken, running away from the sport (part of why he was so allergic to the idea his results might in any way be connected to what was going on in his head). add in the undiagnosed anxiety and you have all this invisible strife people wouldn't even take seriously

that being said, he definitely did have a propensity for jumping to the worst possible conclusions

two specific examples: firstly from his autobiography, where he makes the claim that valentino may have been sabotaged in the 2006 title decider and was deliberately given a rubbish tyre to make him lose the championship - to which casey’s response was: “welcome to my world, mate”. he does have a tendency to believe he’s being sabotaged, and is constantly on the look out for conspiracies even when they are… unlikely

the other example is mat oxley talking about his issues with casey in his stint working for ducati, partly based on a misunderstanding:

something allegedly written about him in 2001!

let’s just say he can definitely hold a grudge

the moaner stoner stuff was definitely nasty, calling him mopey and whiny and all of that, but he also has never shied away from some good old-fashioned complaining (some of this was a bit of a spiral - complaining for good reason worsening public perception of him leading to more reasons to complain)

see also the lingering marc grudge, who probably did play a significant part in getting casey kicked out of honda (as casey has accused him of). whether marquez prevented stoner from racing in 2015 is more of an open question. casey still speaks about how honda made a mistake by only listening to marc (which, again, does have some truth to it)

casey was always very quick to shut down the idea that momentum, motivation, confidence etc could affect his results (unlike that of his competitors) because he argues he was always very rational & clear-sighted about when things were his fault & when things could be blamed on the bike + extraneous factors. he really goes into detail about this when discussing 2008 laguna seca in his autobiography, which he argues had no effect on him psychologically (but was followed by him crashing out of the lead of the next two races)

has definitely spoken more about his rivalry with valentino than valentino has, which probably has also helped shape perception of it over time

on ‘ambition outweighed talent’ - I feel like people almost understate just what a (hilariously) out of pocket remark it was in context. it was rossi’s second ever race at ducati (and the start of his season was impacted by his shoulder issues) - and the rain meant he had a ~win it or bin it~ approach because he knew it was as good a chance as he might get for some time (despite starting from 12th). the move on stoner for second place was at best optimistic, most definitely impatient and at worst foolish - but sort of understandable in that situation, rossi was definitely rapid, and this stuff can happen in the wet. in that sense, it was obviously more a reaction to the manner of the apology (and his frustration with the stewards) than to what casey himself described as a racing incident

stoner made a remark in his autobiography about how rossi had stolen 25 points in a title battle he was never going to be a part of (oof). whether you're obligated to race title contenders differently is already a bit sketch but certainly should not be a consideration for anybody in round TWO

he was forced to publicly retract the remarks, though he doubled down on them to a deeply funny extent in his autobiography by suggesting they were true of valentino’s entire career and that he’d just benefited from a weak era. rossi mostly took it on the chin especially when interviewed about it for documentaries, probably because with something like that you do just need to take the L

it's understandable how it’s become such a defining image of their rivalry (along with laguna seca), not least because of how evocative the whole thing is - rossi showing up still wearing his helmet, trying to make a PR apology stick while he’s been eating nauseating amounts of humble pie at ducati; stoner casual as you like, pissed off about the points loss while still indulging in schadenfreude about how the Great Big Ducati Adventure is working out for rossi

but again, I think it’s funnier because of just HOW over the top an insult it was in that situation (and more broadly how it does have a different vibe to their interactions when they were meaningfully competing, aka 2007-2008)

in conclusion: casey has his doubts and his insecurities and his obsessions and his foibles… a complicated guy in his own right

and a big thing I’d like to stress here is that the rivalry with valentino does benefit from treating them both as somewhat unreliable narrators

I just think he's neat

[netherworldpost]

SHOP NEWS NO DATES BUT PROGRESS IS BEING MADE

The Netherworld Post Office back office, handling private client work, did not have it's expected slow season. Which is good! Production testing is very expensive!

But also I worked myself ill, which was a bad idea!

I'll be fine in a few days.

Or depending on when you read this soon-to-be-pinned everywhere post, I'm fine now!

Over the last several months, I looked at the hard question "hey why aren't we open on the public side?" and it hit me:

Instead of following through with the plan, I was sneakily trying to re-create Evil Supply Co.

Side note: If that name is familiar, but this doesn't make sense, then the short answer:

@evilsupplyco closed in Summer 2019.

I am Atticus of Evil Supply Co. Hi!

I got into a traffic accident, the ensuing next few years Covid wrecked the world, life has been intense :)

The Netherworld Post crew is the same crew behind Evil Supply Co. and we changed/are changing the name because the new shop is going to be spooky-mail-focused as opposed to experimenting with... spooky... everything.

In September or so, just before our back office busy season started, I realized I had been saying "I'm going to focus on what we do best -- greeting cards -- and everything else is secondary."

I. Uh. Kept adding things anyway. To the... list. And making. New. Lists.

(gulp)

(learn from me, don't do that)

So in the depths of Intense Client Work and then laying on a couch for several days to allow my drawing arm to heal and my brain to slow down, I realized I had been violating what I set out to do:

Make a really fun, very inexpensive, greeting card company that sells the occasional zine, and has lots of useful downloads. Some pay-if-you-want (free if you don't), some a few dollars.

...this image... hurts my feelings... because it was this is what was happening to me.

I've learned a lot in the last several months --

I'm going to recover fully.

Send all the files lingering to test print one last time.

Then when they come back, the shop opens.

A handful of weeks at most.

I wanted to launch with DOZENS of greeting cards and A HUNDRED downloads and THIRTY ZINES and and and and and and and and --

-- and we're going to launch with about 10 greeting cards, probably 5 or 6 downloads, and zines will wait while we add more greeting cards and downloads etc.

I am admittedly REALLY EMBARRASSED to be preparing a shop launch SO SMALL after SO LONG.

(I'll get over it. We'll add new stuff regularly forever.)

mailing list: netherworldpost.com

Sign up! If you're already on it, the tech witches auto-sort to ensure you're not being bombarded with a million emails.

(Actual conversation with the crew. I wanted to draw all of this out and my producer Fang was like "hey why don't you instead use that time to work on the actual drawing list instead" and I was like "great idea thank you")

one last time, mailing list: netherworldpost.com

[ourdemons]

Wowie it's been a hot minute So I drew these a LONG while ago but these are Grimmers parents (First [Kuritanta] and second [Vivianna]) and Israels dad (The last one [Oliver]) If you have any questions about lore and stuff I'm open to them :> I'll just say right now that the villain to my little story is Pixel Here's a little bit of info (I do talk about abuse and death just a little warning):

My original plan for Grimmers dad, His name is Kuritanta which means death in some language that I forgot :D, anyway my og plan was for Grims dad to be evil. Basically on the side of Pixel but I changed Kuri to be more caring but distant because of his own experiences with his own father and even mother. Kuri was treated with toxic masculinity and was kept away from the lower class or any contact with other demons. He was not a cold hearted kid. Kuri was curious and really smart having to teach himself to read and write. To keep him away from others walls were built up in the garden (Back yard) and in the front yard to, again, keep him away from the lower class or any other communication with others. Soon this will be broken when Kuri, in his late teens, will be able to finally go to school. There he learns other magic that will add on to his abilities that a grim reaper is normally born with. A small while there he soon becomes friends with Vivianna and Oliver. Both Vivi and Oliver are lower middle class. As he is there he learns how Angels are seen as the evil ones when in his books say the opposite. Along with this he also learns about how Vivi and Oliver live. Kuri sees their poor living styles and doesn't think its fair how they are treated. This starts his determination to want to fix things. Soon Kuri develops feelings for Vivi and starts to date her. Once his parents find out they get angry and his father tries to hurt Vivi. Kuri quickly gets in the way to protect her and gets his little shield symbol on his forehead (I'll talk about this later in a different post) Okie I'll talk about Oliver now: I don't have much on him because I just didn't think of him much :P So Oliver and Kuri are bffs. Once Kuri's parents die and he becomes the leader Oliver gets put in a better house along with other demons who were labeled lower class/ lower middle class. In school Oliver decides to learn about healing magic and becomes a doctor. He does have a reason he became a doctor. Like Kuri, Oliver falls in love and gets married when he's an adult but soon after his son, Israel, is born the mom starts to get ill and weak. It was found out that this sickness that was developing in her could not be fixed with the demons healing magic. This made Oliver work hard to try to find some way to cure his lover or even allow her to live a little longer but his trials are unsuccessful and she soon dies, not making even 3 months after the birth of Israel. Oliver is broken and being a single father with his new born son. When seeing Israel this reminds Oliver that he has to be strong for him and inside Oliver's mind he still has a piece of his partner that was gifted to him.

If you read through this you are a god and I hope you enjoyed :> Again if you have any questions I'm open to answering :D

[alicenpai]

🌟

anime north 2023 con report

finally posting this - thank you to everyone for a wonderful anime north!! \o/ this con prep season was the longest ive ever prepped for a con, and i think it was the busiest con for me ever. it makes me so happy to see people taking my art home!! 😭

so thank you for coming by anime north and chatting and supporting me! and thank you esp to the people who came by gifting their own merch?!??? - either fanart or ocs?! and im honored to see your beautiful ocs?!?? what the hell you guys are the GOAT thank you all 🥹🥹

it was so busy that i wish i had time to walk around & talk to other artists! i really wanted to get dango and onigiri at the delta too.. didnt really get time to eat so im sorry if you saw me shove 10 timbits in my mouth at the end of the con. yes i really did that .

throughout the con i kept saying "he just like me.. HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!!" every 5 seconds like an NPC. im sorry if you had to hear that more than once.

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i wasn't able to post my con catalogue for AN on tumblr and instagram... i was so busy.. dying... maybe if i do other cons this summer ill post something similar. i had a lot of new stuff this year so formatting it was rough haha. here it is! more thoughts under the cut (bc this report really is more for me, but maybe someone can find something useful)

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this is more for me honestly, so it will be really long. but i'm sharing it in case it may be helpful for others. i find that i'm always looking back at my old con reports, so typing out all of my thoughts are really useful to me. overall a great con, fellow artists and customers alike really inspire me to do better in my art.

comparisons to last year: (since i didn't end up making a con report last year!!!!!)

location: the artist alley layout was huge, and im really happy there are a lot more newcomers to the con scene. i know how much my first con experience meant to me, so i want others to join in on the fun! i don't know how the artist alley staff managed to fit so many artists in the building now! we got placed in a corner where there was a lot of breathing room, and a lot of traffic. i got lost a few times (didn't actually have time to walk around, but you know, it was to get in and out of the con centre and to the washroom/water station) because the amount of tables was overwhelming however, and the layout was super confusing. however i didn't feel as if there were any significant bottlenecks in traffic when i was taking some walk breaks.

commissions: last year it was still busy, but i still had some time to draw a handful of commissions. this year was a non stop barrage of customers! i think i may retire on the spot commissions at cons, just because ive always found it too stressful to draw right at the con, even if the traffic is slow. (and im lazy)

fandoms: last year i felt that it was... never so difficult to sell niche and old fandoms...? most people bought primarily 3 things from me at AN 2022, and not much else was touched. it was a struggle, and i even wondered if my art plateaued, if it wasn't good, if i should stop doing conventions altogether, at least for a little while. this year was so surprising with how much love there was for old and niche fandoms. two people from quebec came by and noticed the old fandoms and mentioned that if i was able to come to otakuthon, i should, people in mtl love nostalgia.. i'm gonna be honest otakuthon was pretty bad expenses-wise for me, but i heard it picked up since cons came back in 2022. it is a really beautiful city so mayhaps.. i will come for miss montreal.................

---

and a separate section on the new merch i made:

the new sticker sheets i printed (one piece, baccano, breaking bad/better call saul) did so well! nts to add luffys scar bc apparently i forgot... ive seen this dumbass's face for hundreds of eps and yet i still forgot .

these are a far cry to the sticker sheets i designed in previous years. many sticker places restrict you on how many stickers you can place on a sheet due to spacing requirements... the more stickers you have + the closer they are, the higher the margin of error, which i understand is why many professional sticker printers have these restrictions in place.

the artists i worked with for my AN stickers are so genuinely nice and accommodating with my requests. I just went wild haha. the sheets with the most stickers are brba/bcs at 27 stickers and one piece at 32 stickers.

2021 (top) vs 2023 (bottom), the chara stickers on the new sheet are larger & 2x as many item stickers! the new design makes greater use of the space. my octopath 1 stickers are meant for planners but you could use it for anything!

in 2017 i could only realistically fit 6 ish stickers on a sheet (for vinyl, not cricut home printing) due to printing restrictions. these costed about $3.30 CAD per sheet from s/ticker/mule (not worth it for the price point AT ALL... but i wanted to try sheets for the first time)... and yes it's a tiny 4x7 as well. it was a hard sell for $7 in 2017. but im glad artists have been pricing them a bit higher + sheets have become much more customizable.

now on to charms:

i am so obsessed with this borderless charm look on the new charms... they look like candy... thank you guys for loving my new charms!! i tried out a new technique with designing charms. and im so happy with how they turned out. the charm manu was super accommodating and they are so much better than vograce who fucked up my order so bad in 2022 🤡👍

the soul eater charms from last year were kind of a precursor to this. last year i tried something a bit different than my usual with the transparent bgs, which require full bleed in the file setup, and that was already pretty new for me. i find that charm sales are usually pretty mid for me, so during the pandemic i took a soft break from making them, and i wanted to do research based on others' designs and really tried to improve my design sense. to me i want to design charms that aren't just a flat piece of artwork that gets printed, but something that utilizes the capabilities of the acrylic material it gets printed on 🤔

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fandoms/merch types i want to try next time i table:

more soul eater? it's one of my favourite animes and im very happy for the soul eater love this year. my partner kept selling out of her soul eater prints even though it was her first time tabling!

fma! ive been rereading AND rewatching it lately. it's one of my top 5 anime of all time so me drawing anything for it is a struggle, the bar is set so high. i never end up having the time or ideas to draw anything for it (and the aesthetics are very different from my usual taste)

shadows house has been one of my favorites recently!

dungeon meshi, the print i made was back in 2018 and i think it's time to retire it! it sold out at AN, thank you! with the way the story has developed in the last 5 years, i really want to draw something new for it if i can.

blue period needs more love!

golden kamuy.....

and many more.....

i also want to try mini prints maybe...

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administrative stuff:

next time before the con, i definitely need an organized chart i print out before the con so im not.. literally writing down each transaction... 🧍‍♀️

clamps...?

possibly new display? grids even with plastic panels are heavy... and they can be a pain to put up. this AN we had our neighbors and good friends @nappotuna & @stripeyworm helping us put the grids up, they did an absolute speedy banger job! but it might have taken way longer without 4 hands on the grid work.

if we had used tape to hold our prints up as well who knows how long it would have taken. we used magnets, apparently a lot of people were using them at TCAF. they were so easy to put up and adjustable. *jesse pinkman voice* MAGNETS, BITCH!!!!!!!

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merch i may shelve/do less of:

i really appreciate when artists talk about these kind of things behind the scenes... when products do well, when others dont, products w surprising responses, the factors that we think affect sales... the hard truth is that not everything sells, just bc the art is good =/= good sales, etc etc.

lately ive found it so fun to design sticker sheets over individual die cut stickers!! i understand now why some people only specialize in stickers!! it's also such a pain to stock individual characters and have greatly varying levels, bc of customer interest, and bc of how printing stickers works, you often get extras of random characters due to overflow 😭.. like at some point I had 7 jeannes and like only 1 of the other vnc charas bc the printer had so many extras and she's arguably less popular HDHFJSJHDJS anyways, i think i'll probably do less die cut individual stickers for my next con...

anything old that i only have 1 or a few copies left (meaning i won't reprint) i may not have for display anymore bc of space concerns... before my next con ill just post them on social media to have people claim them!

i may want to do less 3" charms in the future...? theyre a hard sell online prob bc i cant really do deals (i could but id have to be checking the stock every few hours which is not ideal), but they do a lot better in person due to deals.

it's been fun to try specialty products (I've tried scrunchies, stamps, pouches, microfiber cloths, coasters, enamel pins), but i... find they dont sell well for me... maybe my art doesnt have that wide mainstream nostalgic merch type appeal idk... maybe im just not good at designing or advertising them wahahaha. (specialty charms are still charms and i wouldn't necessary consider them a part of this)

my jojo buttons were really popular at anime north 2019 and fan expo 2019, but when the part 5 anime concluded, i noticed that interest for the interest completely moved on 😭 (or it's possible that everyone who was interested bought the buttons already?). part 6 anime didn't rejuvenate the same level of interest. it was a struggle to sell even more than a handful of these at each AN 2022 and 2023. right now they're taking up a lot of space in my con luggage that i'd prefer for newer, better art. i still love the art i did, but unfortunately, i think ill give them a go if i get into otakuthon (and maybe fanexpo too), then it'll be time to retire the jojo buttons. sometimes fandoms come and go so fast, and it's difficult to keep old merch around when they don't have any more interest and when they're occupying a lot of space.

my banana fish lollipop charms do not sell well, and i only sold 5 of them in a 3 year period, across cons and my shop. i created a bargain bin at AN, and it really helped me get rid of old things! unfortunately even in the bargain bin i could not sell a single one of the banana fish charms. maybe it's the art that's not appealing, the characters aren't recognizable, the price point for a lollipop charm was too high, i wasn't hitting the right audience, the market was slow around the time, even when it was included in my promo post... etc. these lollipops were my first time making specialty charms. unfortunately i think that's the last time making lollipop charms, and about time to recycle these charms, so that i have space for fresher and better art!

other thoughts moving on:

maybe go back to simplifying my art a lot more... if i keep making drawings like my great ace attorney tarot + zine, witch hat atelier print, and pandora hearts print, then id not only take 1 month per illustration, id also be destroying my arm 😭 i stopped stylizing my art in 2021 bc i found that my art was getting sloppy in 2020 + i was really struggling in life drawing in school. i needed to buckle down and be more conscientious when drawing poses, learning anatomy and structure... and bc getting back into anime in 2021 really helped me cope with the isolation of the lockdown, so that had a huge influence on my style. but bc of that i think it just took longer and longer to make illustrations and that's something i no longer really wish for.

i really like the period of my art in 2017 with a lot of my persona 4/5 art bc it still has structure even though it's simplified... and the style in my zelda icon... mayhaps experiment a bit more this summer if i can...

[mareenavee]

WIP Whenever~

Good Wednesday, my friends! I had no idea what day it was until Winter posted lol. I love that. <3

I was tagged to do this by the lovely @thequeenofthewinter, @nuwanders and @ladytanithia! I tag the most esteemed @paraparadigm, @polypolymorph, @changelingsandothernonsense, @thana-topsy, @elfinismsarts, @gilgamish, @kookaburra1701, @snippetsrus, @saltymaplesyrup, @dirty-bosmer, @orfeoarte, @archangelsunited, @inquisition-dragonborn, @tallmatcha, @rainpebble3 and YOU. Yes. If your tag is invisible, I still did tag you, so feel free to tag me back (: I'd love to see what you come up with!

Below the cut for some UNTITLED WIP stuff! This is a prompt fill for a prompt challenge I've got going with a handful of mutuals. This one will be for Para when I'm done.

More Ondolemar (and Varlais) this time. The story is fic-universe canon and occurs before A Heavy Truth, sometime early on in The World on Our Shoulders.

CW: Implied accident involving the Jarl of Markarth's pets.

Below the cut!

“Don’t touch anything, Varlais,” Ondolemar hissed. The fool had got himself chased into the ruins by the Jarl’s dogs and, of course, he had to be pulled from the rubble, so to speak. There was nothing else for it. Though, of course, Mother would have words about this situation – none of them good. The dogs were, at the moment, nowhere to be found. It was tough to say if Varlais had run through Nimhe’s chamber with them close behind on purpose. He’d come away with only a mild poisoning and a few new scars to add to his immense collection. The dogs… Well, he didn’t have to put two and two together and upset himself again.

Varlais had kept his hand on the Dwemer metal plate anyway and was doubled over between two pipes. The loud exhale of steam from a nearby vent blessedly muted the sound of his illness. Ondolemar didn’t have anything on hand to help with that, so he’d just have to suffer until it passed. He himself had only barely managed to kill the wretched spider, only narrowly escaping a similar fate. It had been hours before he’d been able to discover where Varlais had stashed himself away, and longer still to Heal him. They were thoroughly lost in the depths of Nchuand-Zel, his absolute favorite place on all of Nirn. And the Falmer – everywhere! Like vermin. As if the day couldn’t get any worse.

Varlais was looking sorrier by the second. Had they not both fallen through a rusted grate and between all this metalwork, they’d have a clue of where they’d ended up. Calcemo’s expedition team had mapped this place up through a certain point, before the Falmer attacks, the deaths and then, of course, the resulting need to seal off the inner chambers. Leave it to the nitwit to burst through locked doors. If only his magic worked reliably for other, more important tasks. There was no longer a way to tell how far down they were.

“Ondolemar, I’m going to die here,” Varlais complained. He wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. True, he was pale, the gilding almost gone from him in his misery. But it was just frostbite spider venom – and only a single bite, now healed. The pain and nausea would be a bit much, come to think of it. It’d been a while since he’d had to deal with the poison. And it had been a much smaller specimen.

“You’ll be fine,” Ondolemar said. He walked over with a Calm spell in hand. “Let go for a second.” Varlais obliged and closed his eyes, breathing as steadily as he could through flared nostrils. Ondolemar rolled his eyes. He sighed and passed the spell over the back of Varlais’s head and down over his shoulders. It wasn’t taking quite as easily, hackles up as they were at the moment. It took some doing – and more Magicka than he’d have otherwise wasted – until the spell settled into the crevices of Varlais’s mind. His shoulders relaxed; his jaw unclenched. He still looked like hell. Ondolemar almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“We have to find – ” Varlais started, pausing to turn away and retch. He sighed and steadied himself on Ondolemar’s forearm. “We have to find a way out of here.” 

“No kidding,” Ondolemar said through gritted teeth, perhaps more icy than he had originally intended. He rolled his sore shoulder where he’d landed hard on the stonework. He’d need a real healer whenever they managed to get out of this place. They both would.

Varlais dragged himself along behind Ondolemar as they moved through the crumbling stonework, littered now and again with sharp fragments from the damaged grates above their heads. Acid from the pollution of the city above had seeped into this ruin through the cracks over untold centuries and ate away at the metalwork. Pipes had broken, machines had seized up. It reflected the state of things topside, really. Apt he was caught in this place like a fly in a web. Every waking hour already felt like that, and this was no better. He frowned in dismay. At least it wasn’t cold down here. Thank Mara for small miracles.

They walked through great gates of jagged filigree, bent and warped with age, hanging precariously off hinges green with patina. The corridor opened into a wide, dimly lit area, the stench of fungus and mold wafting over from somewhere deep in the darkness. Along the way, Ondolemar had taken out a few more Falmer with Shock magic. He was no good with a bow, and Varlais was hardly in any condition to aim, let alone keep from drawing attention to themselves. This place seemed to be far flung even from the hive located in these ruins. The sound of gears echoed through the chamber, which was cut through with flowing water, contaminated by slicks of oil and the putrescent miasma of rot – likely bodies of Falmer or chaurus, or worse. There would be no point in thinking about it. He pulled the edge of his silk undershirt up from under his standard issue robes to settle it over his nose and tried to concentrate on anything else at all.

The lighting was rather odd the further they walked into the dimness. A green-blue glow emanated from what appeared to be rather large mushrooms, which seemed almost purposefully cultivated, towering and casting odd half-lit shadows across mountains of rubble as far as the eye could see. Which, admittedly, was not very far. Ondolemar’s attention shifted as Varlais stumbled behind him leaning into one such pile; the action sent a cascade of ceramic tile and other debris crashing down toward them. Without thinking twice, he yanked his friend out of the way just in time. Varlais coughed as thousands of years worth of dust choked the air.

“Do try to be less of an idiot,” Ondolemar sighed.

[milky-oatmeal18]

tell me all of ur invader zim headcanons or like aus or whatever u NEED to talk more

i do have an au i am working on, though i think ill make a separate post for that, right now ill just talk about headcanons!!

disclaimer that u dont have to agree with any of my headcanons, this is just how i see them personally, and there are times when i draw them older, but that's only really for aus or something

also, giving young kids sexualities isnt sexualizing, kids can know when they like boys or girls more, or both! <3

DIB

dib is about 14 when i draw him (probably like 13 and 9 months old, still a baba)

5'0 in height

mexican

he is autistic! his hyper-fixations are aliens, and cryptids in general, i would like to think he also fixates on technology, and building things

the headphones i draw him in are sensory headphones! theyre just noise cancelling but they help him a lot!

he is trans FtM, but since hes young hes just on hormone blockers and practices deep voices and stuff, which is why his voice is still high, but still masc (he/him)

in the show i know he does hack into things, but i like to think he also programs a lot! he makes a lot of stuff for his own use, like for his computer he made a program that helps him keep all his personal info on zim, it has a password and everything so no one tries stealing anything

he has anger issues, not major ones, but he does get mad a lot and easily, he usually calms down by napping or watching supernatural documentaries

he draws a lot more than you think! i know theres silly doodles across his room, but i like to think he has a binder full of all his drawings that arent on his walls or anything, hes a weird kid, so hed probably draw like zims gut anatomy or something

he tries playing the guitar, hes not the worst at it, he just cant play a full song without messing up at least once

he has paranoia, its hard for him to sleep usually, so that's why he's almost always tired, when he cant sleep he stays up trying to find more stuff on zim!

he prefers tea over coffee! while he does love coffee, i like to think he drinks tea more cause of prof membrane, and he doesn't complain about it, his favorite tea is black tea!

i like to think that he knows he's not straight but just doesn't know what he is, he says omni whenever someone asks, but he doesn't really know

he loves, and i mean LOVES gir so much that he gets kinda upset that he cant have his own sir(?) unit, i mean who doesnt

his briefcase is actually a case for his laptop that he just uses as a briefcase at times, sometimes his laptop is in there sometimes its not, depending on what he's set out to do

ZIM

when i draw zim, i personally see him around the age 14-15 (14 and 9 months at least) still a baba

4'11 in height

zim has adhd, though on irk its just seen as him having trouble in a lot of things, or just as a defect, it doesn't bring him down though!

though zim is young, he did go through invader training because of how irkens are made just to be weapons and/or invaders

he used to be a scientist for the irken empire, but quickly got excluded from being one due to messing around and messing up a lot of valuable equipment, the turtle neck was kept from being a scientist as a kind of punishment to "remember what he did" but he just thinks it looks cool

he was never given limb enhancers like the other invaders cause he isn't a real invader, so he thought hed make his own cause he though maybe they just forgot to give him some, it does have a bit more advances than the regular invader one, since they're not allowed to enhance or add onto their enhancers without given permission

zim cant eat many earth foods, but he also cant eat many irk foods, , not cause of allergies, but because of his sensory issues, its hard for him to eat in general (his safe food is waffles!!)

irkens dont have genders, mainly prefered pronouns in which zims are he/it

he made his own hearing aid cause of how much it was pushed off on irk, no one really believed that irkens can be born with defects like that unless their antennas are damaged (only his right antenna is mostly deaf)

he sees gir as his little brother more than he sees him as a sir unit, he doesn't know the term brother, but knows he cares more about gir than anything else even if he finds him annoying

he forgets things, a LOT, in the comic i think its funny how fast he forgets things or pushes things aside, but i like to think he just, actually forgets that fast, even if he tries to remember it

like dib, he doesnt really know his sexuality, mostly cause of how irkens don't have genders, or don't really have the concept of genders in their head, so he just also thinks he's omni, with a masc pref

i like to think he has more of a over bite, but when he's not paying attention he sometimes puts his bottom row of teeth over his lips, just as a little fidget, or just does it while biting the skin off his lips (if irkens have lips?? idk probably not visible ones)

he is still growing, height wise, but when he's older his hight wont be the tallest, probably a few inches or so

GAZ

gaz is 11 and a half (11 and 6 months) she is also, a baba

5'0 in height, suck it zim

mexican

she has adhd as well, fixated on games and pigs

her safe food is pizza!! she loves eating it with her dad and dib, they just like being able to spend time with all of them even if she messes with dib a lot

she likes cryptids to a degree, also isn't as obsessed as dib is, just thinks that only SOMETIMES they're interesting

she tells dibs to make hacks for her in games, and even tells him to make games or addons for games, she usually plays the games dib makes for like a day and then never again

along with the guitar, she can play the drums! she likes playing them while dibs trying to sleep or nap

she is a lesbian and a demigirl! (she/they)

they have a lot of stuff for stress reliving in her room, like a punching bag and a LOT of pillows to punch, she sometimes puts a picture of dibs face on the punching bag, but its not as good as the real thing

she doesnt hate dib, she wont mind if he holds her hand while they walked home or hugged her from time to time, she just likes tormenting him cause its funny

she prefers coffee over tea, which is why they have coffee at their house, she prefers it over tea but would still drink tea if they had some, plus prof membrane basically makes them drink it at times, she prefers her coffee black, but wont mind it being super sweet either

the necklace that her dad gave her actually has a tracker in it incase she ever gets lost, they never get lost cause they're mostly at home, but just incase

she thinks zim is interesting, they think its interesting how he is and how it even got to earth, but she cant be bothered to find out, all she knows is that he's annoying

gaz is sort of blind, they have hyperopia (far-sighted) she does have glasses but only uses them if they really need to, she doesnt wanna look like a nerd like dib

she usually cuts her hair by themself, mostly cause of how when they go get it cut they usually give her a bob instead of what they wanted

probably prefers punk, goth, and emo over scene, but still admires others who can pull it off

has a little case for their game slave! its like a little bag, shes always sure to have it on themself so shes never bored

GIR

gir has no real age mostly cause of how hes a robot, but i like to think theyre always seen as a child, 8 years old to be exact

gir is autistic coded!

3'5 in height

they have no gender as well, obviously, but do have "preferred" pronouns (it usually gets called by it/they/he)

he really does care about zim and his mission, it just has a lot of trouble focusing on it, or functioning right, since theyre literally made of garbage

his sir unit build is the same as mimis (taks sir), but just defected with misprints and messed up parts, thats why he has prints in the same place as mimi, just messed up

adding onto that, he doesnt have the same big arm as mimi on his left, both his arms are from the builds that regular invaders have

a lot of his parts float, his arms can still extend and move freely, its just that they float , there is a sertain extent where if they go too far they just detach or recoil back to the body, they only detach if zim needs to fix anything on gir

a lot of his body can be detached, almost every single part, he can either still be sentient while they do, or be turned off

zim actually made girs disguise, like handmade, so it has different shades of green scattered around on it, its obviously fake, but people fall for it

the blue color on him changes depending on how he feels, usually its just other shades of blue (ex. dark blue for sad, bright blue for happy/excited, a little duller blue for neutral, you get it) , but when he actually takes orders is when he turns a different color (red)

a lot of the foods he eats can actually turn into fuel for him, depends on what it is, if its chips, soda, slushies, donuts, or any foods that would be on irk as well, will most likely be transferred into energy for him, if its foods like pizza, tacos, or just anything thats specific to earth, it will most likely get jammed into his system, to where zim has to clean almost all the time

a lot of his system is messed up, but zim fixed it up a bit, he doesnt know what causes gir to be crazy and silly and just the way he is, but he feels like it wont feel right if gir was just a normal sir unit

ill probably come back to this to add or fix some stuff if i ever feel the need to, but for now these are all the headcanons i have for them!! these are either adding onto or just new ones that werent on the refs i made for them, so yeah!! again this is just how i see them, you dont have to agree or anything

[intergalacticaquarium]

more terrible no good headcanons for eddie disaster dreamboat munson

I said that if anybody made him too cool I'd have to add more and that's exactly what I'm gonna do babes because I had to scroll for way to long to find him making spagetti-os

(posting again bc it wasn't showing in the tag)

(first post)

-genuinely doesn't know what those stains are. Didn't even know it was stained bc he's had the same fitted sheet on it with one corner tugged off for 8 months and forgot about them since last time

-throws away Tupperware if the stuff in it is too gross

-he's pretty sure that green sour candy counts as a vegetable so he does eat at least 3 a day.

-just. Doesn't ever throw things away. Stupid shit like the backs of band aids and paper straw wrappers and napkins and hooooo boy this has turned into a callout post about myself

-sometimes horseflies fly into his hair and get stuck and he can hear them buzzing around and doesn't necessarily so anything about it right away until it stops

-no room for legs in the front seat of his car that space is reserved for old fast food bags

-buys new underwear instead of doing laundry

-hey why do I keep writing genuinely embarrassing things that I literally do irl. Is this really worth putting myself and the 4 huge bags of laundry I have in my tiny car and all my band aid wrappers on blast. Next I'm gonna write that every surface in eddies house is covered in stacks of hobbies and papers that feel like a goddamn archeological dig every time I clean

-psych he does that too

- ok things that I don't also do so that I don't start having a crisis that makes me a tidier person:

-feeds a family of raccoons that live in an abandoned hunting cabin in the woods

-one time he let one live in his closet for a bit and hoped Wayne wouldn't notice (this may explain some of the stains)

-this boy spills. Everything. He's a hand talker and it doesn't matter if he's holding something.

-the hand talking is also terrifying when in a car he is driving

-never drinks water ever and it stresses ppl out

-every single time he sees somebody he knows in public he will try and sneak up on them to scare them

-wears shoes inside bc he broke glass on the carpet months ago and he doesn't want to vacuum.

-the only place he has to actually sit and do anything I his room is his bed because everything else is covered in stuff

-everything is covered in stuff but every drawer he has is empty

-theres one category of things he owns that is organized absolutely meticulously and idk what it is but he's very proud of it and when he says he's "cleaning his room" it means organizing like band tees alphabetically or sorting minifig painting supplies and everything else stays trashed

-it's a perm and he did it himself in his bathroom 100%

-hair dye stains all over the bathroom from an ill advised look a while back. and maybe a few more times

-doesnt have a compulsive habit to bite his nails he does it bc he can never find the damn fingernail clippers

-notes and doodles. All over his arms

- yknow how when u were in school by the last day you'd have like one pencil and nothing else and u kept a hold of it bc you couldn't find any others?

- eddies been at that point since about half way thru his first senior year. He has one pencil and it is a stub (it is a d.a.r.e. pencil and he does find it funny) with no eraser and it's not sharp and it had a million bite marks on it

-has little stoner burn holes in all his clothes all his sheets his matress his sheets and the seats on his car bc he needs to be more careful and is gonna end up starting a fire someday

-wait that last one was a me thing

-maybe this is how I can embrace my flaws. make eddie do em too. it's cute when he's disgusting

-I no longer have improve myself at all

-puts random food in his pockets for later even though it will get linty. Gonna go ahead and say that I don't do this.

-isn't actually that good at guitar it turns out

-I gotta stop myself now because I know they'll just keep comin but add any you can think of or dm me because every time he gets worse he gets more of my love so like 2 give him a hug reblog 2 spray him with a hose

[soapyghostie]

I would like to address something. A couple days ago, I had gotten a passive-aggressive comment on my ‘Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees reacting to an autistic reader’ post, calling it ableist. They claimed that it was offensive to say autistic people needed help from others with learning coping skills. Also, they had assumed I didn’t know the difference between terminal and mental illness, that I thought autism was a mental illness. Additionally, they got upset when I kept calling the reader annoying in the Michael Myers portion of the request and told me to do more research on autism before I did anymore writing on the subject in the future.

I have a few things to say about this. Yes, I understand why they are upset and that they feel like I’m targeting disabled people. However, I’m not an ableist. I have family members who are disabled and I love them all the more the same no matter what. Next, for anyone who else is offended by it, I’m sorry. The post was never intended to be ableist. I made sure to do enough research on the subject before I even touched the request. Nevertheless, many of you, that are returners to my blog, know that I write my character requests based on how they are perceived in the movies and video games. Yes, the Michael Myers portion of the request is a little offensive because that’s how I feel he’d react to an autistic person who vocal stimulates. I write for fictional serial killers and most of them, might all of them, don’t care about others feelings. Additionally, Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees don’t even know what autism is. Michael has been locked in a mental institution for all his child and teen years and Jason drowned and came back as an adult with no real world experience. How do you expect them to know about that stuff?

Now let’s address the research portion. Like I said earlier, I, for one, did do my research and I’ve talked with someone who deals with it as well. One, it is not awful to say that autistic people need help coping. From what I’ve gotten out from my research is that many autistic people go to counseling to approve their abilities and reduce symptoms of autism. Then, I was told, from the person I talked to, is that when they have meltdowns, they go talk to someone. To add on, yes I know autism is not a mental illness, but like I said before Michael and Jason don’t know that so you can’t just assume I don’t know the difference.

Finally, let’s be nice to each other and not act out on emotion. The person who sent me the comment had added that they hoped I was autistic and that my post would be worse if I wasn’t. No, I’m not autistic and that doesn’t make my post worse. I would never hope someone was autistic because I was upset about a post. Autism doesn’t seem like a pleasant thing to have and it makes any person’s life harder to live with it. If something someone posted makes you offended, uncomfortable, or upset, please just block them. No one’s feelings will get hurt if you block them, including mine. However, what is not okay and what hurts a lot of people���s feelings is when you comment similar stuff like the person commented on my post. Many reasons why writers never wanna write for other people is because of stuff like this: they lose motivation because people keep telling them off. All they want is to share their stories with people who love the same stuff they love. Again, please be kind.

[20dollarlolita]

Going to do a lolita challenge that The Random Lolita posted 12 years ago. I'm going to be spacing these out, but it seemed like it'd be fun.

I picked this because it's not coord-heavy and so that means more people could join in if they want. I've wanted to do this for quite a while, but always kind of found other people's annoying to read. Since tumblr has a decent blacklist function now, you can just block "20dollarlolita 30daylorlolita challenge" to avoid reading this.

Day 1) 10 things about your lolita bubble.

Not going to lie, I didn't do this one for the longest time because I didn't really get what "your lolita bubble" meant, and I didn't want to start this on the wrong foot. But I read some other people's things and it's apparently just things that are about how you interact with the concept of lolita fashion.

So here goes: 1) my lolita bubble is a mess right now. In addition to being non-weight bearing on my foot, which is making all lolita difficult, there's also some interesting things happening in the local community that I'm in. 2) I'm so used to being the lone lolita that it feels very strange to me to be so wrapped up in what other people in my area are doing. I was lone lolita for the first 10+ years I was in the fashion, and have only had a local community for a year or so. I changed jobs last year, and part of the reason was that I wasn't allowed to have a flexible day off and had to use my PTO any time I wanted a day off that wasn't a tuesday or wednesday. I would have quit over the disrespect that this issue was handled with, but the reason that this was initially brought up was because my lolita meets were not happening on weekdays. 3) I'm into lolita fashion because it allows me to be creative, to craft new things, and to build new things. I love buying pieces that are missing components and then rebuilding those components.

Okay, line break, 4) I'm currently working on a bunch of projects, including resizing a JSK for a friend. I had to replace a broken zipper and add a shirring panel. I absolutely love how shirring panels make sewing lolita so much more accessible, because if the fit isn't completely right, you know the panel will compensate. I had to add a little bit on the sides, which one of the waist ties was sacrificed for. I'm trying to figure out how to turn the existing one waist tie into two so that the dress will have ties still.

5) I got into lolita in a really difficult time in my life. As is often the case with serious chronic mental illness, mine developed when I was in my very early 20's, which was right after I decided to get into lolita fashion. I really want to make a dress with the words, "Live through this and you won't look back," on it, but i've never had the right time or design to do it. 6) I love looking through old lolita blogs. I love looking at tutorials from 2007. I love how much of the more early western lolita scene is archived on livejournal. I love the privacy of lolita discord and the safety it's offered, but I always hope that people will archive tutorials somewhere public for the future generations. 7) I have a werid amount of guilt around the fact that I bought an embroidery machine a year ago and still haven't ever made a border print on it. I make a lot of patches but I've never done a border embroidery. 8) One of my favorite archived lolita things is the argument over that BTSSB flower crown and the person who kept insisting that she be given the contact info of a stranger who bought it so that they could ask it to be sold to them. 9) I think that most of the time when someone says that a dress doesn't look good without the waist ties that, if you dig into what they say, they hate fat people. Maybe this isn't true anymore, but it used to go hand in hand.

10) I spend a lot of time on this blog waiting for everyone to realize that i'm a giant asshole and to leave me alone. I'm grateful for everyone who is willing to stick around even when I say stuff like #9. I love how people are willing to come and tell me that they're glad there's a lolita tumblr that's still highly active, and that I've helped them. I went from doing this blog for me, specifically to give myself an excuse to make more lolita fashion, to being able to tailor posts to the needs of other people and a general audience. I have been going through some additional shit recently, and I didn't have enough time to do both this and my youtube channel, and we can see which one I picked.

Bonus thing: 11) I really want to figure otu how to do a stage transformation dress (cinderella dress) in lolita. The magic of somehow going from old school gothic to ott sweet or something would be so cool, even though it couldn't actually happen like it does in my mind.

Anyway, y'all let me know if you'd rather I stick to normal content and do the rest of this on my personal blog. BTW @handcraftedplumbingnightmares is my personal blog, if anyone wants it.

[monkeydluffy19920]

Reasons to love Mugiwaras: Usopp

It’s been ages but here we are again, back with the series  where I share thoughts about why I think a certain (main) character is popular in One Piece.

This series is mainly focused on the canon material but there might be bit about fillers/movies as well to make references on and since it’s impossible to include every single detail here, I try to pinpoint certain things but feel free to add stuff if something is missing :) 

The very first time talked about Sanji and then I wrote about Nami.  This part is inspired by  Luffy vs Usopp amv  (when I realized I  haven’t pondered Luffy vs Usopp much in past).  Now let’s continue the  journey and talk  about  what makes Usopp popular and lovable character (in my opinion).

This  long post might include some unorganized thoughts, repeat and perhaps spoilers, so you’ve been warned!:D

So first thing first about Usopp, in general. He is a great storyteller, a little cowardish but a great friend. Main reason I like in his character is that Usopp is very human. He isn’t the strongest one in the crew, has lots of things he is afraid of but he has a big heart and isn’t afraid to show his emotions.

Like other Straw Hats, he has a sad past too. There isn’t much told but we learnt that Yasopp has been in Shanks’ crew for a long time and Usopp’s  mother died of a illness when he was a kid. Hard to imagine this poor guy had to grow up all alone (basically) and he started lying at a early age.

It’s very heartbreaking to realize that reasons behind his "Pirates are coming”-thing was that deep down the little boy just wanted that his father could return back and he just tried to cheer his sick mom. He could’ve stopped after his mom passed away but maybe it was his way to handle the loss of both parents.

But I think it was really adorable that even though the villagers did seem annoyed by Usopp’s “prank”, then eventually when he didn’t do his daily basis (after beating Kuro) the villagers kept wondering where the sniper was, so this became sort of a “tradition” in his village. It’s great though that his friends a.k.a other members from the Usopp Pirate group decided to keep the traditions alive.

Oda’s way to write characters is amazing and Usopp isn’t an exception. It is clear that Usopp has had a very steady development. Whereas lying and cowardness is partly used as comical reliefs and “running gags” of his, at the same there is much deeper meaning behind his behavior. Lying and storytelling is important part of what makes Usopp who he is and someone would say it’s not healthy but it’s probably where how tends to mask his flaws. We learn later in that deep down Usopp has lack of self-worth and fear of getting abandoned which results that especially before Time Skip he was afraid of unknown and saw himself as a burden due to his physical weakness

Further thoughts are written in “More thoughts about Luffy vs. Usopp-post” but his pride was one of the reason why things escalated with Luffy so badly back then but also the constant fear of not being enough fed all these decisions and he in burst of emotions decided the crew will be better without him. 

Another reason for Luffy vs Usopp fight was his dream.  When entering the Grand Line Usopp told that his dream is to become a  brave sea warrior since he idolizes his father Yasopp a lot. However,  after his real journey on the seas begins so begins his inner crises  because what stands on his way are the limits.  So, before the Time Skip  he wanted to be something he wasn’t.

Usopp knows that brave  warriors are incredibly strong and fearless (like Dorry and Brogy, the  giants from Little Garden who greatly inspire him) and back then he was well aware of the reality (that he isn’t yet ready to be one) and that hurt him and fed his fears and self-esteem problems even more. 

This theme has been going along with Usopp throughout the story. So, although Usopp had learnt slowly to push back his fear and stand up for his nakama in tight situations (for example in Alabasta he was beaten to pulp and still refused to give up and stayed with Nami in Skypiea although Enel was a threat), at the same time they were adventuring, the inner doubts kept stacking, until it exploded badly in Water 7 arc. It’s because he tends to compare himself to the others, especially the Monster Trio (who literally have the monstrous powers).

The robbery of the Skypiea money and the suggestion of replacing Going Merry were definitely the final straws for Usopp and things escalated. Luffy apologized in middle of the bickering but Usopp wasn’t ready to give up on the argument and then challenged him to a 1 vs 1 (perhaps partly to test his strength but mostly because he really wanted to fight for Merry’s future).

Despite being already heavily wounded Usopp didn’t fled from the duel although he could’ve easily trolled them and escape. He still stood up for his policies. Deep down, he didn’t want to back off although he probably knew that Luffy would win eventually. The loss put his remains of self worth into zero point but then on the other hand, later he wanted to help to get Robin back (but was too ashamed to face his captain after the loss and the arguments) so he became an ally as Sogeking

This disguise made him braver but again he was put face to face with his fears and limits when he got almost killed by Jabra. Sanji comes to save him but instead of scolding, the cook motivated him to realize that they need Usopp to trust himself instead of hiding behind the alter ego he created and this is the moment when Usopp started to realize he has unique strengths too.

So, it’s after Enies Lobby that opened Usopp’s eyes for good. After it he starts to see also his strengths (of course sometimes he still gets surprised by his skills but now he is even more skilled). He already proved to be very fast as a battler, very intelligent (good with gadgets, Nami’s weapon is great example of this) and a  very talented sniper. Then after Time Skip Usopp became a source of inspiration in Dressrosa and on top of that he has always been admired by Chopper (who believes his stories). These are some positive influences that has made good for Usopp’s self-esteem. 

That’s not the only character growth though, Usopp has had in my opinion quite steady development throughout the series. First one is in his very own arc. There are more thoughts about it in  Emotional slaps in One Piece-post but shortly said Usopp tries to tell Kaya the truth about her butler but gets an emotional slap instead.  Lying has been a silly entertainment for him but now backfired him, after all it’s hard to be taken seriously if you tell stories all the time and suddenly burst out “the truth”.

Well the slap may have been a “wake up call” so after Syrup Village he gathered his bravery to stand up against Kuro in order to protect his loved ones but then later Usopp’s next big step was in Arlong Park when fools Chuu with his ketchup trick and plans a story how he barely survived and then realizes (when comparing himself to others) that no, he is now a pirate and he needs to do something, literally since his nakamas fight in the frontline too. So he faces his fears, challenges Chuu and wins and this is the first fight he survived all alone! (a great achievement especially when coming to the fact that his equipments were at that time still “rookie level”)¨

Perhaps his interest in building gadgets roots partly from his poor self-esteem. He wants to become stronger too and knows how to build things so why not using the skills for it (let’s not forget that he offered to help Nami to build her a better weapon). 

Another of Usopp’s time was to shine in Thriller Bark when he turned out to be immune to Perona’s ghosts whereas even the Monster Trio (whom he idolizes and compares himself to) couldn’t.  Then when they were separated by Kuma and after Ace died, Usopp became very determined to find a way to help his captain and rejoin and did show lack of fear when meeting scary obstacles. 

After the Time Skip he has changed a lot in a good way. He is now stronger and more confident. He still likes to lie every once in a while but it’s not always to feed his self-esteem, more like force of habit and to entertain (and for comical reliefs). In other words the matured Usopp doesn’t lie just to feel good about himself (now he knows he is a important piece of the Strawhat crew and knows he has abilities to fight off even scary enemies) like he used to.

As a crewmember point of view, Usopp has always been a good handyman in the ship but not only that, he has also been good with mechanics and therefore has had potential even before Enies Lobby.  He can be the responsible adult but also there is this kid-hearted side of his where Usopp puts up with shenanigans.

Luffy and Usopp are definitely best buddies and  and sometimes they have these moments when they share one same braincell *laughs* They also share one common goal: to reunite with Red Hair Pirates crew.  Despite the good and close bond, Usopp took a long time before he started to see Luffy more as his actual captain than a close friend. 

It is mostly because in some ways they are complete opposite: Luffy is physically strong and has an impulsive and carefree nature whereas Usopp tends to hesitate more and has more knowledge and agility instead of muscles. Like written earlier, Usopp had difficulties to keep up with Luffy’s spontaneous and carefree nature.

One of my favorite panels from the whole series is when Usopp takes off his mask and reveals himself to Luffy. He tries to act cool and denies he didn’t come for Luffy’s sake (although he partly did, because he wanted to help too with Robin’s retrieval and didn’t want his captain to give up, since they were so close to their goal). What probably made this whole scenario more powerful was that Usopp  knew how to get Luffy back to the fight and he didn’t hesitate with the motivating, even though they were separated and even offered himself to face Lucci to spare Luffy although he knew he wouldn’t stand a chance. That’s loyalty and bravery, just like when Usopp was beaten into pulp in Alabasta and still stood against Baroque Works once they mocked Luffy. 

What probably makes their nakamaship even more unique is that their arguments lead to the breaking point but they later both understood what to do in order to fix it. 

Zoro and Usopp, when it comes down to this duo, Usopp admires Zoro’s strength and skills (and at the beginning probably is a bit scared of him) and usually seeks protection from the swordsman who seems sometimes to get a little annoyed by this. However, Zoro already showed his loyalty to Usopp in Arlong Park arc where he was ready to slice Nami after hearing she killed Usopp. 

Zoro constantly keeps encouraging Usopp to face his fears and for example doesn’t let him off the hook when they decide by random who is joining Luffy’s shenanigans and also in general probably Usopp sees Zoro as the big brother and the voice of reason too.

Zoro is almost like a mentor to Usopp. Even though the swordsman isn’t that kind of guy who’d show outside the feelings but one can see that he was concerned when Usopp left. Obviously he also wanted the sniper to rejoin but first he demanded a proper apology from the Usopp because of disrespecting their captain (so Usopp could undersrand the consequences of their duel). It sounded ridiculous for some of their crewmates first and even Luffy was ready to welcome Usopp back without bigger fuss but it was very important moment for Usopp to realize this is now the real deal and made him set his pride aside. 

Interesting detail between these two was that Oda made this “role swap” in Sabaody Archipelago. There Usopp (who usually seeks protection from Zoro) is now the one who protects the swordsman and even tried to reason him not to go on the battle (when Zoro was badly wounded), basically it could’ve been anyone who carries Zoro but Oda chose Usopp which is great in my opinion. 

Nami and Usopp get well along together although sometimes the sniper is afraid when the navigator gets angry  but aside of the comical reliefs, Nami is like a big sister to Usopp and they share lot in common: both lost their moms, both are easily afraid of the unknown and both use gadgets in combat.  On the other hand they  both have been great peer support to each other and determined to quit being so dependent on other crewmates and become stronger. 

It is clear that Nami greatly respects Usopp’s skills with mechanics otherwise she wouldn’t have trusted him to build her a weapon so she could battle for Vivi’s sake in Alabasta.  They are often showed as together they are preventing Luffy from doing stupid things by beating him up but on the other hand they are also an efficient duo ending up into various problems in the field (like fighting Enel or when they ended up to explore Thriller Bark with Chopper, “the coward trio” and the latest, when they fought together in Wano against that headbutt-character).  

More importantly, both are very human in their nature (for example when Ace died both were very concerned about how Luffy will cope with an emotional trauma) and for example understand how hard it is to keep up with the rest of the crew.  Both of them also show openly emotions in good and bad. 

Usopp also is aware of Nami’s past (since he and Sanji were the only ones who listened to Nojiko’s story) so for example he got upset to Brook in Mermaid Island arc where Brook dropped unknowingly an insensitive joke about Arlong

So, they do share a special bond and therefore if someone then it’s Nami who understands Usopp’s struggles especially when it comes down to keeping up with the other stronger crewmates and that’s probably why she felt so emotional because of Luffy vs Usopp events (she could definitely feel his pain when he felt the guilt of not being able to protect the money that got robbed by Franky Family but there she proved that money isn’t her priority number 1 and showed much more concern in Usopp’s wellbeing).

Sanji and Usopp, when they first met they ended up arguing (because Usopp didn’t think Sanji treated them equally) but things change in time and they too start to see each others’ good sides.  

Oda makes an interesting way to portray their nakamaship: Usually Sanji acts like he cares only a little for Usopp, but then on the other hand the cook has sacrificed himself in Skypiea for the sniper’s and Nami’s sake and back in Enies Lobby Sanji saved Usopp from Jabra. Sanji was even willing to stand up for his captain and kicked Luffy and told him not to say anything reckless.

Maybe is another running gag it’s seen often that the cook will fearlessly rush into battle while dragging a terrified Usopp with him.  Eventually, in Enies Lobby Sanji was the one to ultimately inspire Usopp to see the value inside himself saying that while he (Sanji) was physically stronger and could do what Usopp could not do, Usopp possessed skill to save Robin and could do what he "couldn't do".

Re-reading Water 7 and Enies Lobby after WCI arc made me understand that Sanji and Usopp have actually much more in common that we thought: both had very isolated childhood without parents, both have had difficulties to keep up with others’ pace (Sanji in past, Usopp in the present).  

Who knows maybe seeing Usopp fighting with his insecurities and especially using in the mask reminded Sanji of his own “iron mask” and the pain behind wearing it. Perhaps this was the reason Oda first made Sanji to convince the others to not to reveal Sogeking’s real identiity (although probably most of them knew who he was) and later choose presicely Sanji to be the one with the speech in Enies Lobby. 

Interesting detail in this setting was that this became a parallel to Arlong Park where Luffy told that he can’t do all things, and now there is Sanji who openly admitted he wasn’t able to win Kalifa (and got bailed out by Nami), only for her and Usopp to be bailed out by Sanji in turn when the wolf man was way too strong for them. It’s just still amazing the way Sanji puts all his trust in Usopp to help them free Robin by telling the sniper: strength comes in many different forms and that even the strongest crewmembers are depending on one another to survive.

Chopper and Usopp also have their special bond and they too adore each other’s skills. Chopper keeps buying Usopp’s tales but also sees him as his hero.  Both of them are openly showing their emotions and are human in that side.

Because Chopper idolizes Usopp, it was hard to him to get rejected by the sniper when Usopp left the crew and Chopper later caught up and tried to talk him back there without good results.  After the Luffy vs Usopp fight Chopper had really hard time because he was forced to choose between his job and friends (when Sanji told him not show pity on a fallen man but later Chopper decided to go with his heart leave Usopp some first aid kit so he eventually chose friendship kindness and what  he thought was right at that moment.  

Sogeking was basically the embodiment of Usopp’s tales and probably he didn’t realize who was behind the mask. Chopper loved Usopp’s alter-ego too though. 

Usopp and Chopper are easily terrified (along with Nami) but even though they are usually scared, the sniper and the doctor make a great fighting team. A great example was that They defeated   Miss Merry Christmas  and Mr. 4 in Alabasta.  

Usopp and Chopper form the “Coward Trio” with Nami and although it’s partly a running gag, there again is some things that combine them and it’s their human nature and (outside chopper) their pretty human strength.

Usopp and Robin needed a little time for their nakamaship to develope. Probably because of Alabasta he was a bit afraid of her and her devil fruit powers (especially when she joked about her speciality to be assasinations). So Enies Lobby arc did also good for their nakamaship. 

Usopp was always willing to help Robin in Water 7 but since the circumstances were a bit difficult he had to do it in a disguise and didn’t even hesitate although he was facing Blueno who is powerful.  By that time Robin wasn’t aware of the crew being split up but despite that Usopp still told her to “have faith in Luffy”.

Just like written earlier, I think it was crucial for Usopp’s character development that Oda made him to be the final piece to the puzzle to help Robin escape from Spandam.  This strengthened their bond for good and it’s not the only time, also in Dressrosa Usopp saved her from being a toy.

What I like the most in their nakamaship is that although Robin loves to tease Usopp with her dark jokes, she also treats him with a big heart, like motherly. It’s headcanonish but I think for example that Robin helps Usopp and the rest of the “Dork Trio” collecting bugs and stuff.

Usopp and Franky had a very  rocky start since the cyborg’s family stole Strawhat Pirates’ money and beat the sniper’s butt. Then Luffy, Zoro, Sanji and Chopper caused a ruckus on Franky House so Franky decided to return the favor by kidnapping Usopp (who at that point had left the group.

Suddenly they started to bond, mostly because they started to talk about ships and it was Franky who managed to make Usopp realize that Going Merry was way beyond repair despite the sniper tried to repair the ship. Despite they didn’t know each other for a long time, Franky was definitely impressed by Usopp’s skills since the cyborg later asked him to join the Franky family.

After Franky joined the Strawhats these two began to bond even more. They both love mechanic stuff (i.e both love to build stuff and Usopp is usually the tester when it comes down to Franky’s inventions) and they enjoy maintaining the Thousand Sunny together and Franky for sure has taught Usopp a lot about shipwrighting since he heard Usopp took mainly care about Going Merry.  

It’s probably just another running gag but Franky compares his bounty towards Usopp’s a lot and frankly spoken he should have at least a bit better bounty in general compared to the fact that he has loads of knowledge (previously held Pluton blueprints) but that’s another story to tell later. 

Brook and Usopp didn’t have it easy too since Usopp was terrified of Brook when they first met. He was openly against the musician to join the crew but once he heard that Brook and Laboon had a connection and after events in Thriller Bark in general, Brook gain Usopp’s trust.

Although they get well along, a couple of times Usopp has become annoyed by Brook’s careless behavior: in Punk Hazard when he was eyeing Nami’s body (when Sanji was swapped into her)  and when Brook accidentally made that joke about Arlong in Mermaid Island.

Jinbe and Usopp, the sniper was understandably hesistant about Jinbe at the first time since Jinbe is not only a former warlord but also was part of Arlong’s Pirate crew. Despite all that the sniper ended up supporting his captain's decision about Jinbe joining their crew and after they’ve known for more, Usopp has  admired Jinbe's attitude and strength and eventually encouraged him to join the crew while calling him Boss Jinbe.

I think from after the Syrup Village and Enies Lobby, one of the most crucial arc for Usopp’s development has been Dressrosa because there he managed to unleash his Kenbunshoku Haki. It was literally a crucial shot because Luffy and Law were in edge of becoming toys. 

Let’s not forget that chapters ago he shot one of the Merry's cannons and perfectly hit his target and the crew managed to escape from Alabasta because he landed a shot on a marine ship which made it crash into another giving them an escape route.  So as said earlier, Usopp has always been very skillful with gadgets and incredible speed. At the first glance slingshot as a weapon doesn’t sound powerful but now to think about it: to land a shot perfectly you needs to be able to lock the position of your target, calculate the exact angle and force and usually you are also put into pressure.  So, Usopp is one of the best examples of underestimated power and indeed deserved all the praise in Dressrosa.

His character history still has room for questions that could have answers such as what disease did Usopp’s mom have? (like could it be cured in future if Chopper’s dream about being able to cure all diseases became true?) or how it will be when Usopp meets his Yasopp for the very first time after a long break? It seems like his dad left when he was very young so probably he mostly knows him based on what his mother Banchina told about him.

Aside from sharpshooting, lying skills and being good at engineering (especially with handheld weapons) Usopp has other talents too such as being a skilled artist and according to sbs he has also is good with hairdressing.  He is also good with gardening because he learnt in that island to cultivate pop greens.

I think one of the funniest running gag is that Usopp is a scaredy cat but one thing he is not afraid is bugs especially spiders. When Nami and Sanji screamed their lungs out because of the tarantellas (while they were looking for South Bird) Usopp casually took that 8 legged thingy to his hands. Hard to say whether his skills in arachnology has come in handy in general but I do like the headcanon that him and Luffy (and Chopper) love to collect bugs together and play with them when they have some spare time. 

All in all, if one should sum up this huge post (that again got carried away *laughs*) it’s that Usopp has made a long journey to the point where he is now standing. He started as a hesistant youngster and has grown now to a strong and (almost) fearless pirate and one day he’ll definitely become the brave warrior of the seas (although he already is one). 

[bluiex]

Hey! Is me! The anon that give you the spire family AU cause I need help with some things cause I’m finally working on it again!!!

First let’s set the scene to help you(me) visualise the story better! I think it’s set like some of the Empires still exist just to expand the world, Shopping centre is still shopping centre but it’s like the resort in Mystreet season 6, with like the tower thing in the middle and all other like islands(aka like Aqua town and stuff like that) are. Mother Spore is like on this Erie off coast of the shopping centre that was originally connected to the shopping centre but when humans came they destroyed the eco system that connect them</3

(We keeping the Undergrove, Overgrown, Ocean Empire(Swamp is literally just like under the rule of the ocean empire), Meazalia(?), and Grimlands(cause imagine, Count fWhips twin sister ‘KIDNAPPED’ by the evil Mother Spore! Is so funny!!)

Kept the Undergrove cuase im thinking it’s like where the sporelings are most accepted(cause Shubble’s well- a gnome- but she’s got her whole mushroom thing so I’m making her bestie with Mother Spore)

(THIS GIVE ME AN IDEA!!! Everyine else trying to find where Mothers Spire other hide out is: Shubble having FUCKING TEA with Mother Spore: And i told her, that he was a cheat but she just gaslit me!)

So like Lizzie. Let’s make her God of the Ocean cause obvi! Jimmy’s like the Demi god who fell in love with mortals(cause my heart PAINS for that</3)

Lizzie and her Human Joel who just- “What? Noo gods don’t exist.”

Kathrine is the kinda queen that pretends to be a peasant and is friends with her whole kingdom without a single one (-The guards cause incase she gets hurt) knowing(Scott use to live in the Overgrown)

(IM PUTTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD OF THE UNDERGROWN CAUSE ITS MEANT TO BE LIKE THEIR OPPOSITES THAT OBTRACT!!)

fWhip has gone insane when Scott hurt Gem in ESMP1 so what happeneds when she gets ‘kidnapped’? HE GOES SO INSANE ITS FUNNY LIKE AT 3AM THERES LIKE A GUARD COMING TO TAKE HIS POST AND FWHIP RUNS PAST “WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO???YOUR MY ONLY BRAINCELL AND ILL KILL ANYONE AND EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH YOUR DISAPPEARANCE!” And the guards just like “He pays me enough…but it really could be more”

So the sporelings-

Scott’s brother Spore- like I’ve mentioned before-

Pearl’s Scott’s actually sister so just cause if that she sister spore but it’s like when a princess runs away from being a princess except she doesn’t know she running.

All the resistance members are still there obvi! (Stress, Impulse, Ren,  Doc, Jevin, XB, Etho)

But also Sausage went cause Scott flirted with him.

Joey’s there cause Xornoth(Scott’s cousin) is there-(that’s real gay)

Lauren(cause I her😭) is Xornoth’s sister, went with her cousin cause that’s her bestie!

(There are just random NPCs, some are there cause Scott flirted with them. Some went cause they thought Grian was hot. NPCs are gay/thirsty as hell.)

HEP are all scientist

Zed’s that one that’s like super smart, gets like a lot of the important info but does stupid shit- like drops the very poisonous specimen then says “Oopies!”

Pix is there cause I feel like he just does it for ironically.

TFC(I miss him😭) was a scientist that left and joined the Sporelings but instead reminded Grian of his dad, and he’s like like “Da- Grandpa spore.”

Ofcourse Theres NPC duh!

Now….WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH MUMBO??? Is he sporeling, random gardener, redstone shop owner or just a nobody? OR LIKE AN EX BESTFRIEND/LOVER OF GRIAN CASUE I LIVE FOR DRAMA!!!!

I’m still working on placing all the other hermits and an one else I want to add. They’ll all get something special, even if just one scene. 

Okay that’s all from 2am anon! Okay, Bye bye! Love you! Eat food! Drink water! Stay safe!

-🌺🪸🥀

I love all of this! I wish I could give you ideas of my own but brain mush atm 😭

But Jsut know I'm absolutely living for this. And I think Mumbo should be a sporling

[beardedmrbean]

I have to both agree an disagree with you and anon on the porn thing, I agree that porn has warped peoples views on sex and body parts to an extent but viewing porn doesn’t inherently make one doubt themselves nor does it cause ill effects, that is a natural reaction to worries of inadequacy that’ve been around for millennia it’s sadly something that is difficult to work through no matter one’s assets, I also believe it’s natural for young teens to explore porn of course absolutely anonymously and without any deeper interaction, we all developed sexual urges as teens in some amount (of course we all keep it hush hush as is proper social courtesy) and it’s best to deal with those urges in a safe and healthy manner but again as I stated some porn has warped people’s perception of sex in fact the industry has an annoying trend towards stereotyping, I believe though these things are a case by case basis not all porn is bad but it’s not all good either as is with many things it is exhaustingly never as easy an simple as we’d wish it were.

Also if I’ve misinterpreted your post I apologize and thank you for taking the time to read my ask.

No apologies needed for much of anything, I'm shockingly difficult to upset and even if you misinterpreted things, you're coming in in a very polite way so no need to even consider fussing about it, if you were being a jerk I'd answer totally differently.

Short answer/summary at the end.

_____________

I wind up confusing people on here a lot because I'm fairly good at leaving wiggle room for myself, for example.

"can do"

Over the years I've developed the skill of avoiding blanket statements as much as possible, kept me out of trouble a lot, and also I agree with you it doesn't get everyone.

all that stuff where you say it doesn't inherently XYZ, be what I said too

Still don't think a 14 year old should be accessing porn, be nice for kids to just be themselves and all that for as long as possible and maybe get some comprehensive sex ed in there focused on the mechanics of it all, porn is terrible for that

I also know it's not going to happen, don't think there's been a time in history where it has, accessing some form of pornography be it peeping tom stuff or those pictures naughtius maximus drew on the parchment he keeps under his bed.

Been different things with all it though.

Ancient Greeks associated a large dong with being oafish and slow, another weird factoid learned while trying to answer a question I had in my mind (can it be done and how, you'll see what I mean) was when the Levant region of western Asia was under Hellenistic (Greek) rule there was a trend among some of the men to attempt to get their foreskins to grow back because they wanted to look "greek" devices they used then are very similar to what's available today.

So ya all that can create body image issues.

I get very jumbled when i start in on these responses because my brain doesn't always go in a linear fashion so I scroll up and add something when it hits my head and it may make other things a bit confusing, sorry bout that. ____________

Short answer: Ya I agree with most of what you said, since most of it was what I said just you used more words.

Porn bit is where we may diverge but I respect your opinion, nobody needs to agree with everything from everyone else.

That would be boring.

Again i hope this makes sense, I'm very aware of how messy my mental process can be and I can't fix it tried for years so disclaimers abound.

[abybweisse]

Thank you for your wonderful entries and sharing all the Mother 3 parallels! Which hashtags should I use to search your old posts on the possibility O!Ciel being made sick on purpose?Thank you

I'm so glad you like all the Mother3 parallels! Thanks! 😊

I have very few posts about the idea/theory about keeping our earl sick, I'm sure, since about the only time I ever talk about the subject is in response to asks or the occasional post elsewhere. Because it's never been a theory of mine but a theory of others.

It's usually part of others' RCMT -- Real Ciel Mastermind Theory -- which I've never ascribed to. Because it's a Munchausen by Proxy idea, in which real Ciel slowly poisoned his younger twin in order to make him ill and/or keep him ill. The idea being, if I recall, to keep him from ever moving away. Either real Ciel did it when they were 5, saw the result of asthma development, and kept doing it... or he saw asthma develop at 5 but later subside, so he started poisoning his brother to either copy the effects or to actually make the asthma symptoms return. How he would know what substances to use, how to get it, how to use it, or what amounts to use is not something any of those theorists has ever properly, realistically explained.

Since Undertaker is so upset over the death of Vincent, and he has toyed with the cinematic records of real Ciel, the only way Undertaker would possibly bring real Ciel back (if any version of RCMT were true, especially if it were a stronger version of the theory) would be to give our earl a target for revenge. But, if that were the case, why go to the trouble of trying to give real Ciel any advantages? Why not, in ch 140 or something, say "Hey, Earl. Here's your older twin. He's the one who made you ill, killed your parents and accidentally got you both sold off to a cult. Destroy him and have your revenge." Or even "Hey, Earl. Here's your pathetic older twin who kept you ill and helped attackers destroy your life, purely in the hopes it meant you could never leave his side, and he accidentally ended up getting you both sold off to a cult. Silly child got himself killed in the process. I've brought him back from the dead... mostly. Hihiiii.... Have a go at him. Or three." But, no.

So, now that we know Undertaker is behind bringing real Ciel back as this "masterpiece" of a bizarre doll -- or Masked Man (and possibly the Ultimate Chimera, depending on what he's actually capable of), if you want the Mother3 parallels -- I'm pretty much convinced that real Ciel (when he was alive) could be nothing more than a weak and scared little child who couldn't protect his family from an attack that got the better of his parents and servants. And then couldn't save himself and had no way of knowing his death would end up "saving" his younger twin.

But, if you are seriously looking for my few posts or comment reblogs on the subject, that's a hard one, because I might not have tagged them for it so specifically. I'd try #RCMT for anything I've written about the main theory, and the "keeping his brother ill" mentions would probably come up within it. You could also try #munchausen by proxy, but that might not bring up search results... just yet. I'll see if I can hunt some of those posts down and look at how they are tagged. Update the tags a bit, if needed. Eventually, I'll add an anti-RCMT section to my Tagging Masterpost. There's already a section for #attack at the manor and #fire at the manor, and those are tags that would also likely bring up RCMT posts, though those tags are broad enough to bring up a lot of completely non-RCMT stuff, too. I'll see what I can do to improve the tagging and searching options for the topic. Meanwhile, I've included those best tags below for you to click and see what you get, and you can try things like "RCMT" and "Munchausen by proxy" in the search field of my blog to see if anything else comes up. Honestly, these are the same methods I use when I'm trying to find my own old posts/reblogs. I think of what tags I might have used or even a phrase that might be in the post but not in the tags, and I use that faulty-ass search function for all it's worth.

I hope this helps you find the posts you are searching for.

ETA: clicking the #rcmt tag below brings up a lot of posts that might interest you, and I came upon a "keeping our earl ill" post after a bit of scrolling. It's only briefly mentioned there, but it's there... in reference to older posts, looks like. I added #munchausen by proxy to the tags for it. Here's another I've now updated the tags for; it talks way more about the forced illness aspect of RCMT. In that one, the reason given was less about keeping our earl there and more about just keeping the younger twin weak... so that the older twin remains stronger, by comparison.

Other tags that might be useful include #anti rcmt, #real ciel powerless theory lol, #rcpt, and perhaps another tag or two in the posts linked above. I'll add those tags below, too, for clicking purposes.

However, after my own searching methods, I only found three posts that specifically talk about that subject, including this post. There might be more, but they must not be tagged with anything too helpful.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

i dont get on much anymore just cause I don't have anything to really say. :p

I'm just vibing and dealing with personal stuff.

But I think I finally have something to say so let's go, another NPD rant. About ableism towards NPD/ASPD. HUGE trigger warning for ableism/ableists and ableist language. We love you narcissists, we love you antisocial peeps. 💜💜💜

The abuse that's commonly done by NPD and ASPD folks. It has nothing to do with the disorders. It's not more common cause it's those disorders, it's cause people slap narcissist and psychopath on any undesirable toxic traits. Completely ignoring what NPD and ASPD are. Seeing NPD as some evil manipulative ego centric disorder. Seeing ASPD as the uncaring manipulative asshole disorder.

That literal stigma prevented me from knowing I had NPD and DEFINITELY kept me from knowing I had ASPD because I didn't fit the abusive stereotypes of them.

If you can read my posts and still think I'M the one misunderstanding shit like narc abuse, you don't actually care about victims or any of the nuance with a situation.

I have encountered more toxic people under the label of depression than I have with people with personality disorders. I have been called heartless, hollow, empty, told I am a leech for everyone around me. I see my disorders constantly lumped in with the worst of humanity, people I actively stand against.

Anyone regardless of disorder can be toxic or abusive. Any personality disorder can be toxic or not. But there are so many stereotypes that most people don't even know what it's actually like to have PDs. When you look up NPD, it's all about how to deal with a narcissist, how to hurt a narcissist, how to leave a narcissist. Imagine being in a low episode, searching for help, and you get bombarded with that shit. Imagine looking up ASPD and just seeing stuff about psychopaths and sociopaths.

You can try to act like you're explaining it to me, but I have witnessed actual ableism from this. Being an abuse victim does NOT give you the right to stigmatize a disorder. Even if not your intention, you are doing just that. I literally had my defense of narcissism be compared to a fucking r*pist as if I was defending a r*pist. They literally compared narcissists to r*pists and as a csa survivor, that ain't fucking fun.

So go ahead, say that it's important to understand the abuse given out by people with NPD and ASPD. I have abusers that have those disorders and I have those disorders. I have been treated like the enemy for having a disorder I can't help within the mental health spaces. The fact I have to accept ill get some people in my inbox saying shit to me if I post about NPD/ASPD says it. And BPD folks that try to say they're the good ones (this is mostly a TikTok thing), siding with that ableist rhetoric isn't gonna save you. Because people conflate BPD and NPD a lot and when one of us PDs are demonized, it will quickly devolve into other ableism and demonization.

Ableism will start with the "scary, abusive disorders" and will quickly become about most every disorder. Pushing the "bad" disorders under the bus won't stop anything. Catering to ableists by shoving NPD and ASPD under the bus won't do shit. Maybe the disorder did personalize the abuse, my abusive ex used his ADHD and GAD and depression against me. It literally made me loathe being diagnosed with GAD and ADHD being a correlated those disorders with HIM. But I never once thought to blame other people with those disorders because of one bad person. You can talk about your abuse without lumping in how they're a narcissist. There are other words: selfish, egocentric, self centered, egotistical. That gets the point across that they're full of themselves and selfish without correlating it with NPD.

And for those that will say that "narcissist is separate from NPD" that is not what happens. I can separate them as well, but the majority of people cannot and that only adds to the stigma. When you look up narcissist, you find NPD. When people with NPD try to look up their disorder, they find articles about evil narcissists.

NPD and ASPD are not more likely to be abusive. They'll be toxic, any trauma response can lead to toxic relationships. I've been toxic too! Cause I never had a chance to learn to regulate my emotions, I was neglected and ignored and left to care for myself so much, I had to learn to manipulate and fake to be able to be accepted.

Not to mention relationships are so incredibly nuanced and abuse is never the same. Also as someone that fell down that narc abuse hole years ago cause of how common it was to see, it only keeps you trapped in anger and pain, furious that people will try to sympathize with narcissists, angry and hurt and trying to pathologize the pain you endured. There are more nuanced ways to discuss an abuser having NPD and ASPD. You lump the disorder in with abuse and put them as the two most evil disorders. I can just say I have NPD and I'll be told "of course you'd defend abusers, you're a narcissist." Not all abusers have NPD/ASPD. A majority don't. Yes NPD/ASPD impacted the abuse I faced, but I wasn't abused because of their disorders, I was abused because they were abusive.

If you fail to understand that, that is not my problem. There are people who word it better than me, I do my best to communicate despite my difficulties. If you can't see the harm that this does when people with personality disorders already struggle to get help because of stigma, that is not my problem. I have explained, I have done my best to communicate, I have made it clear why it's harmful. If you still fail to understand that, then just don't bother.

If you leave some anti-narcissist stuff in my box, I'm gonna just ignore it or delete it. I'm not giving you the time of day.

I mention NPD/Narcissism and ASPD and I instantly have to be prepared for people to be upset. Looking up narcissist/narcissism anywhere and being bombarded with how evil, soulless, and empty we are. I have been told I'm lying about my abuse cause of my BPD, now imagine if I was more open in other spaces about my NPD/ASPD.

Any personality disorder can lead to toxic and unhealthy situations because these are severely traumatized people with no idea how to fully cope. It has taken me years and accepting I had NPD/ASPD to get to a point where I have healthy communication. I refused to believe I was a narcissist cause they're evil and abusive. It only made my toxic narcissistic traits worse. I wanted to be a "good person" and so I refused to accept I had NPD/ASPD. After destigmatizing the disorders, avoiding narc abuse shit, all of that and learning about the disorders from people with em, I went: Oh shit, I think I have these. Is that possible? And lo and behold, I do. And suddenly I'm not forcing myself to fake, I'm not hiding some of my "shittier" aspects. My friend MA helps me by letting me unmask 100%. These traits I'd be so demonized for the second I showed them to others are accepted by MA and suddenly I find ways to communicate better and learn to be healthier. Cause instead of being treated like a monster for a disorder I never asked for, I'm treated with understanding. So when I do mess up, I don't feel defensive or upset and I will apologize.

Demonizing disorders, lumping NPD/ASPD in with abuse just leads to more stigma. It'll start with these two, but it'll come right back to BPD just like it still is for many people. I will be told narcissists can't love, narcissists can't feel for others, narcissists don't deserve to live. I'm told sociopaths are monsters, psychopaths are pure evil, getting lumped in with murderers and r*pists. I've met shitty people with NPD/ASPD. I've met good people with NPD/ASPD. And creating a single stereotype of the disorders around the evil/toxic/bad parts completely ignores many narcissists and antisocial folks that don't fall into that stereotype. Cause I've met narcissists that fit the criteria, but don't fit the stereotype created around the criteria.

You are ableist. You have a chance to learn and I hope you grow out of this. But if not then I have no sympathy for you. Cause in the end, you're just fighting alongside ableists and people that don't want us to even be alive or get help. If your first instinct is to hurt a narcissistic abuser, how are you any better than them? And I'm all for victims of oppression and abuse reacting how they can. But maybe realize that your initial trauma response to such things is not always right. Just because you don't attack random narcissists and antisocial folks on the internet doesn't mean there aren't people doing that. And you believing in narc abuse allows that opening, just like in many other situations. You allow that shittiness to happen.

I sincerely hope you can learn and grow from this. Cause I've been there too, with other situations too when I was younger. It's easy to fall down that hole. And I hope tou can look back on this in the future and have matured and be better. But if not then oh well, stay away from me. I'm willing to educate, but if you aren't willing to listen then just stay away from me. Nothing I say will ever make you listen.

The tone for this may come off as rude or uncaring, but this comes from a very personal and passionate place. And having come so far in my journey, I will say this shit. Just as I have gotten anti-narcissist ableism in my inboxes, I have gotten thanks and people saying that my posts have helped them feel less alone. And ultimately that and educating others is my main goal.

Narcissists, antisocial peeps, any heavily demonized "abuser" disorder, you are so worth it. You are not these stereotypes that people make you out to be. Even if you're toxic, remember you never have had a chance to not be in survival mode. It doesn't excuse harm done, but if you get stuck in that area of self hatred, it makes it harder to grow. Sometimes you are shit and it isn't good, but you're learning to be better. You don't have to get help the expected way especially with such a broken mental health system. You deserve to be treated as human and as a fellow trauma victim. You don't have to feel love in a normal way, you don't have to be the norm or expected way of anything. You can be better. What matters is being at a point where you don't have to rely on that survival mode and trauma responses. You're safe here. Whether you feel love, whether you have been abusive/toxic in the past have gotten better, whether you're struggling to be better but you're still trying, whether you struggle with being a "good person." You're welcome here. It doesn't fucking matter. You know your life, not me, not these strangers. You don't need to be a "good person" to be worthy of love and understanding and be able to just live your fucking life. Whether you aren't working to getting better. I don't know you, I don't know your story, I don't know your life, it ain't my place or anyone else's place to judge and you are welcome here. You don't need to explain every tiny aspect of yourself and your disorder to be worthy of being treated with respect and kindness and decency. You are welcome here :)

All I focus on is what you stand for, whether you're anything like ableist or homophobic or racist or transphobic etc. or anything else like p*dos or r*pists.

We humanize people here and you're welcome here. Especially if you've been so demonized by people. The stereotype of a good person is complete bullshit. You deserve understanding and love.

Of course this is a very general/blanket statement and cannot list every single tiny thing that is or isn't acceptable. Also I hope this conveys things well as I am having a harder time communicating my thoughts lately especially since what I say can so easily be misinterpreted.

This is one big rant about ableism. Fuck ableism, it won't be tolerated on this page at all. Anything else problematic as well. It doesn't matter whether your abuser has or doesn't have NPD/ASPD. It doesn't fucking matter. And focusing so much on the narcissist abuser or "psychopath" abuser is stigmatizing, harmful, and doesn't do shit to actually help you heal.

Anyway, love you fellow narcissists and antisocial folks. This was focused on NPD/ASPD, but any personality disorder, you're loved here and welcomed here. Especially since PDs are either ignored/forgotten or completely demonized.

[fiascophobia]

Me rambling about my OCs to anyone who will listen pt 1

Dumping my ideas for my self insert Dialtown OC because I don't have someone to babble to so a Tumbler post will have to do. Will probably reblog this a dozen more times with more lmao. The text font is Indie Flower #6290C4

I whipped up a collage because i can't edit or draw for shit. i forgot to add shoes, but they probably wear huge boots with the strings torn out cause they couldn't be bothered to keep tying them.

I'll start with the simple stuff. Their name is Francis Bell,they're a freshly 18(Aquarius, Jan 31) AFAB nonbinary mess of a human. They're 5'0, but sometimes stuff stilts into their pants & heels of their shoes to make them taller and they are 'can shift the veins and bones around in their wrists a little' kinda scrawny cause projection. They kind of resent the phone= man typewriter=woman binary, and would have kept their typewriter head if not for..the incident. They have a complex bouquet of undiagnosed Neurodivergency and other mental illnesses. They wear those fake nails not for style, but to keep themselves from gnawing on their fingernails. (how does that work when they supposedly have no teeth,IDFK)They work for the funfair, both working with the rides and the ticket stand when Jerry is off the clock.

They're a bitter recluse, hiding their issues under a thick blanket of self-deprecating humor."Self-hatred Is hip now" as they'd say. They want to be seen as cold and collected rather than the anxious mess they are.Definitely the type to lovingly call you a bitch. Has an ex they claim to hate but their refusal to part with any of her gifts to them says otherwise.They are scared of being vulnerable because they know they cling don't anyone who shows them kindness and they cling hard. They like to think of themselves as a tortured artist, despite having near abandoned their writing passion, and they buy cigarettes to light but never smoke. As much as they still like the idea of being a revolutionary, even if not for incidents that we will get into later, they know very well how quickly they fold when someone so much as raises their voice at them.

Besides Jerry, It has one other friend, a cat that pops in and out of Its apartment that It named Misty. She doesn't like being touched unless she initiates and she scratches It sometimes but It loves her anyways.

They really like early 2000s and 2010s pop, but don't admit it because they feel the need to keep up this super alternative persona. The reason why? To prove a point, in a way. For two years before the events of the game, they were dating a girl named Mae Marshall(though they were identifying as a girl named Sophia Poole at the time, this will be relevant later.) Introvert X rich Party girl vibes. They were even writing the story for the two's first project with Mae doing the art.

The only problem with their relationship was with Mae's friends and family, who are a bunch of conformist rich mobster(that last part wasn't exactly known to Them, though)assholes and she never stood up for them, even joining in on their mockery. Mae would give them the rings they wear now and other jewelry as apology presents, which they started to see as her trying to buy their tolerance of being ruthlessly mocked and never defended.

This comes to a head when the mob apparently decides they want them dead.(I'm still debating on whether the dead thing was the truth or a misunderstanding and they were actually being run out of town.)You see, our buddy Fran didn't always take everything in Dialtown with little more than a grumble, often organizing protests for the dozens of problems plaguing the town and the Mayor couldn't be bothered since(in her mind) they had nothing to do with her grandpa's vision for Dialtown. Mae catches wind of the supposed murder plot, and decides to dump them; as she was a fledgling at the time, their relationship would only make them easier to find. Instead of saying "My mob family wants you DEAD" though, she decides to fall back on her old defenses and claims the reason is that they are too embarrassing.

They have maybe a day to process this(which consisted of them blaring Miley Cyrus' '7 Things' and abandoning their project) when the whole 'being wanted dead by the Dialtown Mafia' thing is made extremely clear to them. They, of course, book it as fast as their tiny limbs can carry them(TW: Implications of self-harm),attempting hasty and dangerous transition with the rotary phone they snagged from their parent's house beforehand and a knife.

While they're doing their thing, they accidentally wake up the poor man sleeping in the dumpster of the alley they ducked into.(I think you can guess who he is)

Francis winds up accidentally roping the sap into helping fake their death. To this day, they'd say they owe him their life.With the death of Sophia Poole established, they start their new life.(I can't find anywhere else where this fits,but they are weirdly defensive of the Dialtown Mob for this reason:"if the people that forced me to fake my death and pick up my life from nothing are just a bunch of incompetent losers, what does that say about me?") They get their old job back under a new name, start living in a crappy apartment that they can hardly afford the bills for.The 'killers' dump the dummy body into the pond lake, A detective that just moved in(who will likely be getting her own post later on alongside The ex as they're both datables as well) discovers the 'Sophia Poole' case,and this is where we make it to valentines day.

I imagine Phone/TypeGingi would meet Francis in the apartments. They'd See It staring solemnly into the smog-filled air from Its balcony like the dramatic hoe It is and Will climb up to say hi. After a bit of banter, Gingi learns that It just got dumped and is trying to prove to their only human (kind of) friend that It's moved on because their jokes about being unlovable because of being dumped are concerning, so they agree to be Its rebound in exchange for getting into the funfair.

They dressed up in their fanciest suit and top hat for their shitty amusement park date. "Hah! Who needs to move on now Jerry?"-"OBVIOUSLY, YOU."

The lesson around their route would be showing Gingi peeling away their defensive layers, teaching them they should fight for their own approval and happiness rather than caring what other people think,and picking her writing back up as a more healthy coping mechanism.(Oh, and causing problems for the corrupt government.That too.)They have a new sense of self worth,more of a legal presence in dialtown apart from 'Sophia Poole',published their first novel as a protest piece showing how Dialtown really is dedicated to Gingi,(under an alias,they're bold not stupid) and they have officially adopted Misty.Unless you get their shit yourself and die ending,which involves their ex,crime(probably) and a huge accidental body count(almost definitely). In all honestly,I wanna write a hypothetical route or at least hypothetical endings and a beginning,but this post is already long enough so I'll close this with some playlists for now.

Longer Playlist:https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMdCe6gGGxLeV7m-EfqDuqpW387c7-Gc-&feature=share

Shorter Playlist Below:

I Deserve To Bleed by Sushi Soucy

2.Passing Through(Can't The Future Just Wait) by Kaden MacKay

3. This Is Home by Cavetown

4. 50 Ways To Say Goodbye by Train

5. 7 Things by Miley Cyrus

6. Mr Brightside by The Killers

7. Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time by Panic!At The Disco

8. Cupid by Jack Stauber

9. Heather by Conan Grey

10. The One That Got Away By Katy Perry

If you've made it this far, thank you for entertaining my weird, disturbing rambles, and have a lovely day.

[notcolleen]

good morning this post is …not abt my eating disorder 😮

(it’s a coworker rant lol) (it got …..long 👀) (i started early this morning and am now finishing hrs later without changing times so sorry if some things don’t add up time wise) (not that ppl other than myself would know? but tumblr anons have me paranoid that everyone thinks im lying abt every little thing lmao)

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anyway this has been a pretty solo trip for me, but im technically here with another woman from nj as well, whom i actually met last year working this same camp so we knew each other and have now spent over 3 weeks together total, not super long in the grand scheme of life but long enough to say we know each other

and i don’t dislike her at all, but this week it became a lot more clear that we are really different ppl, both professionally and just in life lol

and i kinda like that despite working at the same job/staying in the same hotel, we both quietly acknowledged that it could end there and we didn’t have to do things off the clock together. i didn’t see her at all outside of our work hours lol and that was fine.

but during work, she sat on her phone at a table away from the kids, and when she did need to “engage” with them, it was yelling. i heard her say “what is wrong with you??” or “why are you crying?” to 6 year olds too many times this week (1 time is too many times, 4 is ??? like why are you working in childcare) — and that is just what i heard, she ‘opened’ and i ‘closed’ so there were two hours each day where we were on our own and i dread thinking of how she spoke to them then 👀

on that note, she was supposed to clock in at 7am — get things set up, plan out the day a little, whatever. but every morning we would have an awkward moment where i would see her sitting in the hotel lobby eating breakfast as the time crept past 7 and she would still have to factor in the uber there and all i could think was what if i kid came early or if her uber didn’t get her there by 7:30 (when kids could arrive)??

but i would try to just drink my coffee and pretend i wasn’t aware of the time lol and i know she was annoyed that she had to wake up to open (bc she certainly lmk that) but i had to stay until the last kid got picked up (and parents were not always the most punctual coming from work ☠️) and then clean up so i was there until after my scheduled time each day, there were no early days that she kept telling me to ✨enjoy (also we are getting paid?? that’s why we’re here??)

but we are in the same role here — i am not her supervisor, i didnt feel comfortable correcting or redirecting her, i can’t give her training on how to speak to kids

….still, in the end, i did feel like i put a lot more work bc kids are smart and intuitive and are gonna go to whom they feel comfortable with — so even if i was trying to put stuff away or talk to a parent or whatever….even with her right there in front of them….they would ask/find me.

(i will say, it says something that by the end of the week they finally had learned my name and still didn’t even seem to know she was working there with me lol, or she was “the other teacher” ……like i don’t think im good at much, but i do know im good at interacting with / treating kids with the respect they deserve)

anyway i had started this post mostly to say that it’s also very telling that she clocked out of our last shift saying “ill see you when i see you” even though we took the same flight here, i booked our uber from the airport to the hotel together, and we have the same flight back — but just based on our endings vibes, i didn’t reach out to see if she wanted to share an uber there this morning**

i think she’s also upset with me bc we were both offered the opportunity to travel again with the company after this — and both told that it would be “either oklahoma or texas” — and both definitely preferred texas over oklahoma — and i made the mistake of telling her i emailed one of the higher ups voicing my discomfort with OK (mostly just thinking out loud before i sent the email) and even though i received this (wonderfully validating 👀) reply back:

it ended up that i was chosen to go to TX and she will be going to OK and i feel like she assumes the email played a role / that i used my discomfort as leverage. idk, i should have just waited it out but i was anxious abt it and when im anxious i tend to ramble/voice my inner dialogue and that’s what happened — it also lead to me basically coming out to her (if she hadn’t already figured that one out ☠️) and even before the decisions were made re: locations but after that, i felt a shift in our dynamic and overall it was just a mess after that day lol

**and now when i arrived at the airport, it turns out our original flight was delayed so much that we had to reschedule to guarantee making the connection……but she hadn’t checked in yet so idk what’s happening with hers……all i know is that our boss booked our flights so it’s all linked together and it wouldn’t show my boarding pass, only hers, so it kept trying to check her in when i just wanted it to register my boarding pass for pdx—>ord—->ewr instead of pdx—>den—>ewr and i was so anxious i was gonna miss my flight and so proud of myself for not crying when a very nice woman helped me out ……but then! 😔 i did cry bc when i mobile ordered a pumpkin load from starbucks…..waited 20 minutes for it…..told myself i could keep waiting bc i have done my time as a barista and know how annoying customers are……waited another 10 but then saw my ticket behind the screen so knew it had gotten lost in the shuffle and i would actually literally miss my flight if i didn’t ask the barista…..only to be told they were out, but would i be okay with a lemon loaf instead?…….no 🥴 not really 🥴 but am i anxious bc food still want to scratch my skin off when it’s not exactly what i want it to be? 🥴 yes 🥴

so i have to say that’s fine ! thank you so much ! have a good day ! 😌

anyway that’s when i took my lemon loaf and cried on the way to my plane

and here i sit

winning the secret competition for longest tumblr posts abt the most mundane things ever 😌 cya