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biisexualemma · 3 years

Text

unrequited pt.2. peter parker

word count: 3.6k

warnings: anxiety, panic attack? i guess kind of

requested: yea a few people asked for this lol

plot: you haven’t seen peter for weeks and start to worry about him

a/n: i finished re-writing this late last night and i’ll be honest with you i haven’t checked it over so sorry if there are any mistakes but i’m tired sis goodnight! lmk if you like this! pls comment / share!

pt.1 / marvel masterlist / multi-fandom masterlist

"ned... you're so wrong for so many reasons," m.j.'s expression was flat, her eyes rolling before she continued to fight ned on who was really the strongest avenger. you were supposed to be working on a group project for your history class but somehow the topic of the avengers came up and the conversation derailed. ned was making a, somewhat, compelling case for the hulk but m.j. was clearly winning with her argument for wanda.

"nobody even knows the full extent of her powers... and the hulk? what? he's gonna smash some more?"

you sat quietly, chin in the palm of your hand, listening in and out of the conversation. you didn't really feel much like contributing. you would occasionally chime in to support m.j. but mostly you just heard the noise of their bickering and let it happen.

you didn't want to be that person, but your mind was (much to your frustration) completely consumed with thoughts of peter. and at the worst time, you had so many tests coming up, and essay deadlines were also creeping up on you. usually you were on top of this stuff, but your mind was preoccupied almost all the time.

because of peter, who was no where to be seen. in the past few weeks he had stopped showing up to school all together. ned said it was something to do with tony stark but you had a feeling it was more than that. you didn't know how to explain it.

you hadn't spoken to him in a long time now, and you didn't exactly leave things on good terms. it was the longest you'd gone without talking since peter called you a poopy head in the third grade.

you just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. especially since you had no idea what he was getting up to, peter was known to get himself into some messes when he was left to his own devices. and you just knew ned was lying to cover for his best friend but that only made you feel even more out of the loop.

everything felt a bit off without peter around, like something was missing. that, on top of the guilt and worry you were feeling, was turning your head to mush. last time you'd spoken to peter, he was erratic and wounded and desperate. something bad had to have happened for him to be gone this long.

the bell rang, signalling the end of your last period for the day, and the rest of the week seeing as it was a friday. you snapped out of your daze, jolting as your eyes focused back on your surroundings.

"what time did you say again, y/n?" your eyes drifted to m.j. who was collecting her notes on her desk, her eyes meetings yours, waiting for your answer. a crease formed between your eyebrows, you hadn't heard a word of the conversation before right now. m.j. seemed to realise this, rolling her eyes at you with a playful smile. you did this a lot lately, she was getting used to it. "homecoming? what time did you want to meet tonight?"

"oh," you nodded, still sitting at your desk as your classmates hustled around you. "right, homecoming— i— uh—"

"tell me you're still coming," ned interrupted, his eyes wide suddenly, clearly desperate that your answer was anything but no. "c'mon we've had this planned for ages!"

"no— yeah— of course i am," you nodded quickly to reassure him. "yeah— sorry— i just spaced. is seven good for you guys?"

they hummed in response, nodding.

you packed up your books, shoving them into your bag, still in a slight haze with all these thoughts running through your head about peter. you couldn't think about homecoming, it seemed trivial now compared to the worst case scenarios running through your mind. maybe you could try to call peter again? you thought to yourself as you quickly left the classroom, forgetting about m.j. and ned and homecoming, your muscle memory alone leading you to your locker.

you swapped out your books from your bag with the ones you needed to study from for your biology test next week. after slamming the locker door shut, a familiar face was met with yours.

"jesus," you muttered as he stood inches away from your face, your heart racing from the shock. clutching your books to your chest, after nearly having a heart attack, you let out a loud sigh and furrowed your eyebrows. "peter? where the hell have you been?" you regained some of your composure, enough to find some anger in you towards him. he was the last person you were expecting to see today.

"you're ok?" his usual soft brown eyes looked sunken and tired, his hair was scruffier than usual and his lips chapped as they hung open, his eyes scanning over you.

your mouth hung open to speak but he just shook his head as if answering his own question. he gripped your forearm, urging you to walk with him. you dug in your heels, yanking your arm back, wanting him to slow down and explain before you went anywhere with him. "will you just walk," he muttered sharply when you tried to resist him. "please," he softened quickly, his eyes meeting yours.

you frowned, uncomfortably shifting the stack of books in your arms as peter pulled you along behind him hastily. you watched his eyes shifting about the hallway as students weaved around the two of you, his grip not loosening for a second. he was definitely up to something stupid and dangerous that he absolutely should not be involved in.

he'd dragged you all the way out into the parking lot, pulling you aside and away from the crowd of people.

"what's going on? why do you look like— i mean no offence but— you look like crap," you couldn't help but show some level of concern. no matter how complicated your feelings were for him at the moment, he was still your best friend, and he looked like hell. you couldn't stop yourself from staring at him.

"i need you to just— stop talking and listen to me," the look in his eyes made your heart beat a bit faster, your eyes darting between his trying to understand his urgency. "you're not safe—"

"no— i'm fine—" you were never very good at doing what you were told. you glanced down at yourself, perfectly safe and standing in front of him. "see?—"

"no— no you're not," he gulped, his eyes darting away from yours for a split second. "i'm taking you home and you have to stay there. ok? please."

his voice was horse, cracking when he spoke. you didn't understand any of it. peter was the friendly neighbourhood spider-man, what the hell had he gotten himself into that had him this worked up?

you tilted your head slightly, he couldn't think you'd blindly do whatever he said. you needed some answers. "pete," you mumbled, shaking your head with a faint frown. "can't you just tell me what's going on? you're kinda' scaring me."

"i screwed up," his face contorted, his eyes screwing shut for a second and his nose scrunching. you were glued to him, following his mixed expressions trying to understand what was going through his head. he took a deep, shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. "and i know you— you hate me and the last thing you wanna' do is listen to me but i need you to do this for me."

"alright," you said after a moments hesitation. you just wanted him to relax. all your pent up anger and hurt that you'd felt over peter had dissipated quite quickly. you were too occupied with trying to ease some of his stress, and if that meant becoming a homebody for a few days, you would do it. "alright— don't worry. i've been putting off my english essay for a week now anyway, it's about time i cracked down on it."

you tried to ease the tension, act like he wasn't asking much of you. he let out a heavy sigh, looking over at you with those brown eyes. "it's homecoming tonight, i know w—"

"is it?" you feigned forgetfulness, not wanting to make him feel any worse than he already did. you shrugged. "i was never one for socialising anyway."

peter knew you better than that. he knew what he was asking you to give up. "i'm sorry," he took a step closer to you, his hands hovering in front of you, unsure that you wanted him to touch you. "i'm sorry you got dragged into this."

your eyes lingered on his hands before you pulled back up to his stare. you pursed your lips and shrugged. "i'd feel better about it if i knew what i was getting dragged into," you pulled away from your conversation for a second to slip your books into your bag. "walk me home and you can explain everything."

and he did. he told you all about the vulture, the weapons, what really happened during the decathlon trip. all of it. right up to when the vulture figured out his identity— which lead to him finding out about aunt may, about his friends, and about you. he told you about how he'd spent the past few weeks figuring out where the vulture's next major deal was being held, how he'd messed up so bad and how mr stark had taken his suit.

by the time he'd finished, your mouth hung open slightly. you didn't know how he'd been dealing with all of this by himself. spider-man helped old ladies cross the street and returned stolen bicycles, he didn't fight men in bird costumes to stop illegal sales of dangerous advanced weapon tech.

"peter, this sounds pretty dangerous," you spoke up after he told you about his plan to intercept the vulture's airplane heist. "don't you think you should just call happy? or tony? this sounds like iron man territory."

"i can't do that," he sighed. "besides, i already tried happy— he's not taking my calls right now. something about a time out."

you let out a heavy sigh, having taken everything in that he'd told you. you had reached your door, peter standing behind you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. you motioned for him to come in but he hesitated, opening his mouth to decline. "c'mon," you grabbed his arm and tugged gently. "this heist isn't happening 'til late tonight. you can keep me company 'til then."

"maybe, get some rest, too, you really do look like hell," he let you pull him inside, following behind you. he ignored the second dig you had now made about his appearance.

"may must've been pretty mad when she found out you'd been skipping school?" you collapsed onto your bed, crossing your legs over and watching peter perch himself on the edge of your bed. he leaned forward, his hand running over his face with sheer exhaustion.

"you have no idea," he groaned, holding his head up with the palm of his hand now. "i'm pretty much grounded for the rest of the year. and i have to send her a pic' of me sitting in every one of my classes from now on," you nodded, pursing your lips because that sounded about right. "but mainly she was worried."

"well, she wasn't the only one," he glanced at you over his shoulder, his eyes lingering there for a while. you breathed through your nose, looking away from him and down to your hands to give yourself a moment. you'd forgotten how difficult it was to have him look at you like that. "you just took off with no word, peter."

he turned his gaze away from you, focusing on the wall in front of him, his eyes glossy. for weeks that last conversation with you had been sitting at the back of his mind. he knew he'd handled everything in the worse possible way. he tried to protect you, hurt you by doing so, and then had everything he tried to protect you from blow up in his face anyway.

"i haven't been able to think clearly for weeks," you gulped, scared to meet his gaze again, in fear that you might lose your confidence. "i missed you. and i was worried out of my mind about you."

"y/n—" his voice was quiet.

"and i know i was the one who told you to leave. but i was hurt and sad. i'd convinced myself that you felt the same way, and when you—" you closed your eyes for a second, feeling him watching you. you hadn't been able to say any of this out loud for weeks and now it was just spilling out of you. "anyway— i shouldn't've punished you for that. they are my feelings i need to get over. it wasn't your fault and i'm sorry i made it seem like it was."

he shook his head faintly, sniffling slightly, catching your attention. "i screwed up," he shook his head a little harder, pushing himself up off your bed, his back turned to you. "i screwed up so bad," he ran his hand over his face, his thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose. your eyebrows knitted. "it wasn't supposed to turn out like this."

"don't," you shook your head, willing him to stop. "it's not your fault. i shouldn't have—"

he cut you off, turning to face you as he did. "i'm in love with you," his mouth hung open slightly, his eyes now stinging red. "i was in love with you then, and i'm in love with you now. i think i always will be."

your eyebrows unknitted, your mouth opening to speak but nothing came out. you watched his hand tug on the ends of his curls, his eyes locked onto you the entire time, trying to read your expression.

"i was trying to protect you and it went completely wrong—" his breathing was erratic. "i thought you'd be safer if i distanced myself—" the look on his face was breaking your heart. he knew how stupid it all sounded now he explained it out loud. "i screwed everything up— and now you're in more danger than ever— because of me."

"you— you—" your brain was trying to keep up. you shook your head. you had spent the past month telling yourself that everything you thought he'd felt for you wasn't real, that you'd over thought everything he'd ever done for you. you'd been telling yourself for a month to move on. "you didn't screw up, pete. i know you. whatever you did, you did for the right reasons."

the lump in your throat was growing as you tried to keep some kind of composure. it wouldn't do either of you any good to get upset with him when he was worked up like this. he didn't need to be told he'd made a mistake, he was already painfully aware.

"you don't— you—but— i—" he was hyperventilating, completely vulnerable as he fell apart in front of you.

"pete," you mumbled carefully, climbing over to where he was stood, hand in his hair and he pulled on the loose curls, his eyes wide with anxiety and stress. you moved your hands to his, pulling them down to his side and giving them a small squeeze. "calm down," you cooed. "everything will be ok."

you trailed your hands up to his shoulders, giving them a soft squeeze before pulling him into a tight hug. you wrapped your arms 'round his shoulders, one hand moving to the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair. his head ducked, burying into your neck, his arms wrapping around your waist in a desperate grip. his breathing was heavy at first, uneven and jagged as he clung onto you. your heart was beating out of your chest, you were sure he could hear it, but you held onto him as tight as you could, pressing your whole body against his trying to offer him as much comfort as you could.

after a while of standing around, holding each other, peter's breathing began to grow softer and slower. he began to notice the sweet scent lingering on your skin. his lips innocently hovering over the curve of your neck, breath fanning against your skin. you could feel goosebumps growing on your skin, the hair of your arms standing on end.

"better?" you mumbled softly. he gave you a faint nod in response, his lips leaving your skin as he pulled himself back from you. your hand slipped from in between his curls and down to the neck, your thumb brushing over his skin as he looked straight into your eyes. you gulped, eyelids fluttering.

he was a state to behold. his nose was pink, under eyes wet, your eyes trailed down to where his lips parted. he hiccuped a breath. you tried to push away the impulse to kiss him because he was clearly vulnerable. you didn't want him to later regret anything. "thanks," he mumbled breathlessly. "i don't know what happened there."

you pouted your lips, about to reply when peters eyes fluttered down your face, catching you off guard. his eyes lingered and you noticed his head tilting down and nearer, his lips catching onto yours before you could register what was happening. it was soft, gentle and didn't last longer than a couple seconds before you had to force yourself to pull away.

"peter— you're overwhelmed right now so maybe we shouldn—"

your whispers against his lips where cut short, he pressed his lips to yours again. unable to resist now he'd had a taste. his arms tightened around your waist, pulling you back flush against his chest. you swallowed a gasp, feeling his full weight behind the second kiss. his lips pushed against yours a little more desperately this time, you fell back a step, peter's arms where the only thing keeping you upright at this point.

both your hands where either side of his neck, trailing up into his hair where you pulled softly at the roots of his messy curls. he let out a soft moan against your lips, and you stumbled back once more, your thighs hitting your bed.

your hands quickly slipped down to his chest as you gently pried him off you. your head was spinning a little, his lips were plump and pink and the way he looked at you, with pure love and obsession, made you want to kiss him again and again.

"did you mean it?" you muttered breathlessly.

his eyes trailed back up from your lips, his gaze locking with yours again. he noticed the vulnerability and fear in your eyes now that he was paying you his full attention. he felt a wave of guilt hit him, knowing he was the one that put that look there.

"yeah," he hummed. "i did," he said with his chest. "i do. always will," he was breathless.

"you're not just saying it 'cause you've missed me?"

he shook his head quickly, shutting down any traces of doubt in your mind. "i have been in love with you since that summer we took that trip to coney island when you threw up after you ate too much cotton candy."

your scrunched up your nose at the memory. "gross."

he shrugged. "i don't know what to tell you. that's just when i knew."

your lips twitched into a small smile. "you should probably get some rest," you diverted the topic, trying hard not to kiss him again. he looked so tired. he had poured out months worth of anxiety and stress all in the past ten minutes. "you can't chase bad guys if you're half asleep."

he wore a half-hearted smile, his mind clearly flickering back to the task he had to take on later tonight.

"you can crash here if you want," you motioned to your bed.

"y'sure? i don't wanna get you in trouble."

"mom's working late, so you're good. plus she loves you, pete," your hands slipped down to his, giving them a quick squeeze of reassurance.

"sure she'll still love me when she finds out about us?" he quirked an eyebrow, the small smile on his lips was sloped and tired.

"m'sure," you hummed, biting back your growing smile at the word us. you moved him to sit on your bed again, his hands lazily holding yours. his eyelids fluttered as he looked up at you, a small crease forming between his eyebrows again. you could tell his mind was wandering again. "lie down, you need to rest or you're no good to anyone."

he nodded hesitantly and followed your instruction. "i'll sleep better with you next to me."

his voice was soft after you'd turned your back on him to leave him to rest. you rolled your eyes faintly, smile tugging your lips again. "is that right?"

he hummed, his arms outstretched, waiting for you to fall into them. you dragged your feet back over to him, biting the inside of your cheek, the corner of your lip twitching upwards. "there's a scientific reason behind it but my brain's too sleepy to think right now, so you'll have to take my word for it."

his words slurred together, his eyes rolling slightly the longer he forced them open. you just nodded. "alright, spidey, just this once."

"hm," he hummed as you climbed in next to him, his arms wrapping around you and immediately pulling you against his chest. "thanks," he muttered, his lips pressed against the top of your head. "don't know what i'd do without you."

300 notes · View notes

leviiattacks · 3 years

Note

hairstylist Levi and the reader has a crush on him so they get frequent and sometimes ridiculous haircuts just to see him

author note :: kinda drifted from the original ask BUT!! there is still hairdresser levi soooo :-))) reader loves seashells just because i said so okay,, i may make a part two where reader gets to talk more about marine biology and all that fun stuff bc... why not? UNRELATED BUT happy 800 i’ll plan something cute when exams are done !!! word count :: 4.2k… i had a lot to say

levi really isn’t into customers who waste his time. for that reason it should be inevitable for him to despise you.

you walk in all chipper and happy one friday evening, you laugh along with the receptionist making small talk and levi hates the type of people who stand around talking for ages but seeing you point eagerly at the decorative framed seashells on the walls doesn’t make him mad. actually he’s pretty??? surprised someone knows that much about??? seashells???

“did you know most seashells open to the right?? and there’s two shapes!!! plain or smooth. also the–”

“could you for the LOVE OF GOD HURRY IT UP??” the people lining up behind you are frustrated and you sheepishly apologize before scurrying off to take a seat in one of the waiting room’s leather chairs

and that’s pretty much all levi sees of you, he’s too busy with other clients to even realize you’re getting your hair cut. by the time he does it’s because your sobbing can be heard in the relatively empty salon

you’re practically wailing and muttering “sorry” over and over again telling mike it isn’t his fault you don’t like the haircut he gave you and that you’ll wait for it to grow out

of course levi makes his way towards you because ??? what else is he to do ??? he’s got a hair salon to run and unhappy customers means bad reviews and you know what ? levi would like to keep the 4.8 star rating he has on yelp, he takes great pride in it. :-)

“what’s wrong?” he bluntly asks directing the question to mike, he’s fidgeting and looking anywhere but at his boss clearly buying time whilst trying to form a reasonable answer

thankfully for him he isn’t given the opportunity to explain, instead you butt in not before sniffling and wiping your nose with a tissue

“no, no don’t be mad at him he’s done nothing wrong i picked a bad haircut he just did his job!!!”

levi hasn’t got a proper look at you and as he turns to analyse the damage his eyes practically bulge out of their sockets

...

well.

it sure is, an attempt?

honestly he should have supervised mike more, after all he is new.

levi can’t help but feel guilty because you seem really nice and don’t even look like the type to drop a bad review despite the hellish state of your hair

okay yeah, you don’t look horrible (he thinks you’re pretty cute actually) but the haircut really just doesn’t fit you at all

in fact now that he’s looking at you more closely the entire haircut is choppy and rough around the edges

“mike what the hell is this?” he snaps trying to understand where his colleague was headed with this bright idea of a haircut

“i said it was my fault not his—”

mike places his arm between the both of you before heavily sighing

“i was told to do whatever i wanted, so it is my fault. i misjudged and picked something that didn’t fit. i’m sorry.”

you’re opening your mouth to defend mike yet again because levi’s glare looks like it could kill but before you can even blink levi’s ushered him into the back room whispering into his ear that he’ll deal with the incident tomorrow

levi comes back and gestures towards the tissue box looking slightly disgusted, “you’ve got a little something on your nose...” stuffing your hand into the box and hurriedly pulling a tissue out you hide your face out of pure embarrassment

“anyway i’m sorry for the inconvenience. i’ll try and fix this for you.”

you sniffle again.

“are you sure? i don’t know how this can be fixed and it’s late i don’t want to bother you.”

he’s meant to be closing up right now but for some reason or another he has no problem letting you sit down in one of the leather chairs across the room. you’re unable to look at yourself in the mirror, you feel much too embarrassed

the day’s been exhausting for you and so you decide to close your eyes for a second. just a second of ease should be enough for you.

but of course without noticing you’ve nodded off to sleep

your head drifts forward and levi has to reel you back in. really he doesn’t even want to wake you. you look so tired and you’ve already cried over the haircut. the least he can do is simply hold you by the chin to prop your head up, there’s no need to wake you up for that

by the time he’s done you’ve already began to rub at your eyes, when the position you’re in finally dawns on you your limbs react without permission. you jump with full force up and almost out of your seat. levi’s hand slides away from your chin, in its wake your skin burns

“you’re up now i see, stay still. please.” he directs plainly

his face is closer to yours than can be deemed comfortable but he’s doing his job nothing else.

obviously you have nothing else to do apart from distract yourself from the obnoxiously handsome man in front of you but you decide since you’re already here you may as well shamelessly gaze at him. it’s not like he’ll notice when he’s occupied.

at first your eyes trail down from the top of his brows to his cheeks. you notice he has little to no blemishes on his skin, it’s the type you see in skincare ads.

he smells of lemon and mint and– HIS HAIR??? looks so??? soft up close??? the silver highlights look amazing on him and you want to reach out and touch them but you know that’s inappropriate...

wow, whatever conditioner he uses it sure does smell expensive though

“soooo... who owns this place?” you finally manage to break the silence between the two of you. levi’s eyes flick up to yours and you can feel the heat rush to your cheeks again.

“i do.” is his short reply, it takes a second for you to register it then you’re practically gaping wide mouthed in shock

“oh??? congratulations!!!!”

WHY

why

WHY DID YOU SAY CONGRATS?????

“thank you.” he responds not seeming the least bit annoyed

thank god

you’re saved he doesn’t care!!!

he doesn’t care!!!

you are just a customer, he’s had many customers today, once you’re out the door you’ll never see him again, so he doesn’t care, therefore by default you shouldn’t care either!!

“we’re all done.”

for the first time in the last fourty five minutes you take a look at yourself. levi does feel slightly anxious but he hopes you’re happy with it because he knows how important things like this are. appearance matters a lot to people and he’d hate to be the reason you don’t feel confident in yourself

you blink a few times not even knowing what to say, he takes it as a bad reaction and sighs

“you don’t have to pay. i’m sorry i tried to save what i could–”

“I LOVE IT I, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.”

you turn to face levi and you’re smiley brimming with pride in your new hairdo. it makes his typical >:-| face becomes a >:-) this is what he does this job for. to see the confidence that surges through his customers.

“it’s free either way. after what happened it would be unreasonable to make you pay.”

“do you just want a good yelp review is that why you’re buttering me up? ;-)” you lean over the counter and levi doesn’t think you notice just how compromising the position is. if anyone outside were to be looking inside through the glass windows it would look like the two of you were kissing

“i appreciate good reviews.” he says taking out one of the business cards sitting under the desk

“swing by again if you’d like.” he places the card into your hand and it feels like one of those movie moments. the type where the two love interests know they’ll run into each other again and fall in love

maybe it’s just you who feels the spark because levi’s face is as stoic as ever

“oh, i see. have a good night!” you wave wanting to make the interaction last longer, it’s a little ridiculous how long you’re stood there just waving

at some point levi just nods at you offering an awkward smile almost hinting you should probably get going now.

you finally step outside and take a breathe of fresh air before heading home.

little do you know levi felt the spark too.

levi doesn’t expect to see you after that, he guesses movie moments are full of shit when they happen in real life.

it’s a friday evening a week later and he’s busy swiping away the hair left all over the floor with a broom. it’s nearly closing time when the bell by the door rings.

“hi i’d like to book an appointment for a friend?”

he recognises the voice straight away and has to double take because he doesn’t quite believe you’re standing there in the flesh. he notices you look a little sad when you see the decorative seashells are no longer on the walls.

“don’t worry, the seashells will be back i just wanted to get some new ones.” levi’s standing in front of you in no time and you feel yourself grow nervous - how did he know you were thinking about the seashells?

“i’m happy to hear that you know because they were cute- hey did you know seashells were once used as a form of currency?” you begin to type away at your phone probably to show him examples of the shells in questions but this is levi, socially awkward levi who still doesn’t believe you’re standing in front of him. he just has to ruin it for himself

“oh, okay.” he has no clue what his response to you should be, should he reply? he thinks he probably should have stayed shut because he has to witness your face drop in real time and you stuff your phone back into your pocket.

he feels bad because he doesn’t want to seem stand-offish or cold. he really wants to talk to you more because you’re so...

okay, how does he even say this?

who even knows that many random facts about seashells?? that’s good enough of a reason to want to talk to you

“is the one pm time slot available?” you ask wanting to get this over with.

levi has to think you’re being weird right now for even coming by again but it’s not your fault you just... want to look at his silver highlights again!! yup that’s what it was!!

looking at the fluff of hair on top of his head you notice you can’t use it as an excuse. he’s dyed it again and it’s all black this time, it somehow makes him all the more intimidating.

“yeah it’s available would you like it for next week?”

you give him a thumbs up and he types it down onto the system after you give him your friend’s name and phone number

“so about those seashells, how do you know so much?” levi’s question catches you off guard and your lips quirk upwards almost immediately

you’ve pulled your phone out again and swipe through your camera roll. eventually the phone is held out and on the bright screen is a picture of your seashell collection. they all look unique in their own way.

“i am what you may call a conchologist :-)!!!” he wants you to explain more, he wants to ask if that’s your day job or something but you begin rambling on and on about how you prefer the rose murex over the pitted murex and really he can’t tell the difference but if you say you like the rose murex he’ll pick it just for you

he thanks the heavens that no one comes in when you’re so eager to show him more and more

“so is this your job or something? just a hobby?” he’s trying his best to sound open right now because the last thing he wants is for you to never want to speak to him again

you groan and pout a little thinking about it

“not at all, i wish it was but it’s a hobby. i work a boring office job, before that i wanted to be a marine biologist but that didn’t really take off.” you look miserable looking back at the what ifs and levi regrets ever asking you the question

“guess i’ll see you next week?” you notice the atmosphere has become awkward and decide it’s time to leave

“next week?” levi asks

“to keep my friend company... if that’s okay with you?”

usually he doesn’t like friends or family taking up space in the waiting room but you know what? he’ll make an exception for you :-)

by the time three weeks pass levi’s convinced you have something going for him, not to get big headed or anything because he’s definitely not the cocky type but all signs are pointing to yes right now

when you come in with your friend for her appointment she assures you she’ll be okay but you insist you’re okay with waiting. levi thinks nothing of it, maybe you just want to sit down and he doesn’t really mind but when all you really do is hover around him and ask a ton of questions he grows suspicious

then you leave a really really really nice yelp review and levi nearly spits his tea out when he reads the words “levi was a sweetheart !!! a true gentleman !!!”and “plus he was very cute ;-)”

maybe you’re just really friendly?

then you bump into him right as he’s closing up. the incident is definitely a coincidental meeting but you still linger to ask him if he thinks green would suit you and he assumes you’re asking in the context of clothing

but then you explain how you saw a celebrity with green hair and wanted to try.

levi has to stop you in your tracks and talk you out of that bad idea. you’re pretty and all but neon green hair probably isn’t appropriate for an office job.

a few days later you pop in simply because you say you were passing by. then you proceed to plop a fancy handmade pasta salad onto the front desk and say it’s for levi. he knows you’re trying to throw hints at him

sure, he thinks you’re downgrading because he doesn’t really get what about him is interesting to you. all he does is cut hair and dye it.

maybe you saw him give a kid a lollipop after a haircut and decided that was the reason god knows. he still wonders what there really is in your short interactions with him that makes you come back?

when you place the salad down onto the front desk he’s confused and wonders why you’ve gone out of your way to do that for him but you quickly interject before he can even get a word in.

“i wanted to thank you for the free haircut. you said no paying so!!! i was just around here and thought you could take this you know, i have my own too i just made too much.” you’re pointing at the salad and he finds your offering to be sweet.

he quite literally has to fight the urge to smile because god you are so kind and he wouldn’t mind if his suspicions about you are correct

“thanks.”

you seem content despite his short reply, you’ve learnt levi doesn’t really say much. either way you’re happy he’s accepted the gift with little protest

“i have a break right now want to eat with me?”

his question makes you gulp, you’re nervous but this is what you want right? every time you’ve come here and made an excuse it’s because you wanted to see him once more

you clutch at the strap of your purse firmly. building up the courage to say yes is difficult but you manage to nod. levi gives you a warm smile and the butterflies in your stomach can’t seem to handle the rare display.

he walks ahead of you telling you to follow and so you do. the streets are bustling during this time especially since it’s a weekend and you half regret what you’re doing because you’re bound to mess this up some how

half way through your walk the distance between the two of you increases. far too many people get in your way and suddenly you can’t see levi. you’re about to panic but he’s grabbed you by the wrist in no time.

“you’re slow aren’t you?” if you didn’t know it was levi speaking you would have assumed he sounded annoyed

you shake your head then remember he’s faced away from you so he won’t be able to see.

“i’m not slow... it’s just busy.” you think he’ll let go of your wrist once you’re out of the crowd but he doesn’t. you don’t mind, his coarse fingertips feel comforting against your skin.

soon the green of the park is within view and you take a seat on the grass. levi’s a little more careful and decided to sit on top of his jean jacket instead

“you normally eat lunch in parks with your customers?” you ask taking out your pasta.

levi stretches his arms over his head “anything for a good yelp review right?” a throaty chuckle leaves his mouth and he’s so pretty this way with his eyes scrunched shut and his cheeks flushed pink.

it’s hard to tell what exactly causes the flushed cheeks. it could be the summer sun...or the fact that he’s with you?

maybe movies aren’t all full of shit? maybe there really is something salvageable in them? that’s what levi’s thinking when you both tuck into the pasta you’ve made

it feels like one of those moments where character b is meant to love character a’s cooking but it’s just horrible. nevertheless character b can’t bare to see character a upset and has to wolf it down as quickly as possible

“it sure does... taste interesting!” he’s trying not to gag but damn you for walking in with that proud smile of yours, he can’t just leave it unfinished. this is a token of gratitude from you and he’s not about to make you look like a fool by saying it tastes bad

he secretly wonders how the hell you’re eating it and not tasting the RIDICULOUS amount of salt but he gives you the benefit of the doubt. maybe something bad happened with his portion ????

you eat in silence for a while mainly because levi’s still getting used to the unusual flavour

then out of nowhere he decides he has to take this opportunity by the reigns and throw a hint or two back at you

“i really liked the yelp review by the way.”

you stare at him. he’s looking off in the distance at a group of children playing baseball and you let yourself indulge in his side profile for a second

he looks like he’s been sculpted by fucking donatello or michelangelo. it’s them or one of those other old sculptors that you don’t really remember well.

listen, your forte is seashells not european sculptors.

“thanks by the way. i think you’re cute too.” he adds in without much thought at all

levi’s so blunt and straightforward you can’t even form a response within an appropriate time frame.

now, there is of course the argument that you’re equally as straightforward for shamelessly flirting over a YELP REVIEW but you had to force yourself to add in that sentence about him being cute.

AND!!!!

as soon as you sent the review you wanted to curl up into a ball and fall asleep FOREVER

because AGAIN...

who in their right mind is flirting through yelp??? in 2021??? how old fashioned are you???

ask for his number!! ask for his number!!

“cute enough to ask for your number?” the question comes out as an awkward squeak and you want to slap yourself across the face because you don’t even sound remotely confident

GOD.

either way.

you’ve gone and said it.

it’s been done.

the deed has been done.

levi gives you a wide-eyed look, that’s it. you are done, finished, obliterated. for lack of a better word, fucked and no not in the way you’d like.

you’ve ruined all your chances, and are never making a move on anyone again at least not in the next ten years.

you might as well explain after that. "i just—i did not mean to say that. you know i was just joking!!! obviously!!! i mean people like you don’t give people like me something as huge as a phone number. also i am really fucking embarrassing —but i'm not into you don’t worry. uh, definitely—"

you stop when you see that levi is having a hard time trying to maintain his composure. his shoulders rise and fall and his laugh is surprisingly high pitched. he kinda sounds like a windshield wiper?

he’s laughing like you’re a world class comedian and you want to literally drown yourself in pasta and never walk past his hair salon in fear of him laughing at the very sight of you.

you look so dumb right now.

when levi finally stops he’s still got a boyish grin painted across his face. you on the other hand look like you’ve been through the hunger games.

“you sure you didn’t mean it? i’d like to give you my number.”

your heart LEAPS out of your chest as soon as he says that but you have to shove it back down once you come to terms with the fact that he’s probably teasing you and trying to play it off as a joke

“ahhahaha. funny. anyway i have to get back to work—”

“i’m being serious. i want your number, only if you’re comfortable with that though.” levi’s back to his typical straight faced expression and you want to know how a man can be so frustrating yet attractive at the same time

can he stop throwing mixed signals ?!\<\€\! does he think you’re a fool or does he really want to talk to you more???

“are you joking... or?”

“correct me if i’m wrong or have taken you the wrong way but you’re always making up excuses to drop by. not like i hate it, i actually like when you visit and talk about marine biology and seashells and all that other stuff you like—”

you don’t let him finish and instead hand him your phone. if he continues any longer you’re going to burst (in a good way)

“just give me your number, okay?” you say as you jab the phone into his chest

“you didn’t let me finish.”

“then finish. whilst typing your number into my contacts :-)”

“fine, but put your number into my phone too.”

he grabs your phone from you and you grab his from him. he begins to type his information in, all the while he talks about the yelp review and how he never thought someone would ever have the audacity to blatantly flirt over yelp but he guesses you’re unique in your own way

“done.” simultaneously you both switch phones again and you look down at your screen.

your phone is back in your possession and you have to bury your smile away. honestly you don’t want to look like a creep but levi’s saved his name with the scissor emoji and it is a little funny

levi stands up and begins to walk away not before teasing you once more because he’s cruel like that.

“hey, just a word of advice but maybe next time you have a thing for a hairdresser maybe don’t ask him to dye your hair green just so you can see him again.” you can tell he’s joking by the playful lilt in his voice but you still wish to defend yourself

“i— that was not about seeing you again... i just wanted to ask if green was my colour!!!” you yell behind him

levi laughs to himself, maybe he’ll give mike a raise for causing all of this :-)

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here-be-hyper-fixations · 4 years

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Drabble #3: Fear Toxin

JayKyle, very self indulgent, kinda long for a drabble but oh well

This…definitely wasn’t what Kyle had planned for the night when he visited Gotham. He had finally returned from Oa, finally been able to visit his secret lover for the first time in months. He had planned on having a quiet evening with Jason, maybe a movie night with some greasy takeout and cuddling before collapsing into bed, if they didn’t end up falling asleep on the couch.

Instead he sat on the sofa with his partner shaking between his legs, Kyle hunched over him and running a hand through sweat soaked hair. Jason’s arms were bound wrist-to-elbow behind his back with green light to prevent him from further scratching up his bloodied skin, and his wide eyes glowed a toxic Lazarus green.

It had been an emergency call.

The bats had needed all-hands-on-deck to handle the latest Arkham breakout and Jay had rushed over like he always did and had probably gotten a face full of fear gas for his efforts… Kyle shook his head, leaning further down to brush his nose against Jason’s cheek.

He couldn’t think like that…Jay loved his messed-up family, and they were finally, finally starting to care about him again. Like they should have been since he came back…

His thoughts were interrupted by a particularly loud sob as Jay shoved his face into the crook of Kyle’s neck. That’s right, he had a more pressing issue to deal with than his love’s shitty family.

Kyle tugged Jason’s stiff body upward, allowing the vigilante to crawl onto the couch and into his lap. The moment he had settled, Jay’s body went completely loose, so pliant it would probably be impossible to move him later. Jason’s eyes were filled with tears and he kept making soft whines in-between sobbed apologies and choked gasps. He was trembling hard enough that he was practically vibrating, a sickly pallor erasing any color from his skin. The Green Lantern held him, rocking back and forth while whispering soft reassurances and sweet nothings into his ears. Kyle nuzzled his love and ran small kisses over his freckles.

His arms were steady, looped around the vigilante and caging him to his chest, but not nearly as tight as he would have liked. Kyle wanted to crush Jason’s body against his own. He wanted his partner to feel safe in his arms, wanted to hold on tight and never let go, but he was unwilling to risk restricting his hiccupped breathing.

The minutes slowly ticked by with Jason’s condition not seeming to get any better. Whatever had happened, it had triggered a bad episode…a really bad episode.

The ones closest to Jason called them Lazarus flashbacks.

They were when Jason had flashbacks to his time being controlled by the green waters of the pit. They were when he thought he had to fight against the madness again, keep it from flooding his thoughts and staining the world a sickly, psychedelic green. Jason was never a danger to others though, instead he was a danger to himself. What the bats never realized was just how hard he had fought against the madness, how he tried to tear himself apart just to prevent himself from hurting them.

The numerous bloodied scratches racing up his arms were proof.

Kyle just kept quietly shushing him, nuzzling, and kissing any skin that he could find. He wanted desperately to get Jason to shed his body armor, but the vigilante was far too out of it to do so. The only piece he had been able to get off was the partially shattered signature red helmet. Instead he just continued rocking him until Jason’s movement suddenly went deathly still, a hitched breath pulling Kyle from his thoughts.

There was a very deliberate thunk of footsteps from the balcony outside the living room, where they currently were. A large black bat-shaped shadow opened the glass doors and stepped inside.

Kyle didn’t even turn to look at the intruder…there was no point, he knew it was the Bat. He could feel the glower studying him, trying to piece together why a Green Lantern of all people had his second son quivering in his lap. He looked for all the world like a fish out of water, mouth slightly opening before closing again, teeth grinding together, his fists clenched at his sides.

“What the fuck happened tonight Bats…”

He flinched, almost taking a step back. Good, Kyle thought, let him be the one without a clue for once. The lantern had to stop the corners of his lips from twitching upward.

The Bat cleared his throat, regaining his composure.

“There was a mass breakout from Arkham…mission went bad, Hood took a face full of concentrated fear toxin while backing up Spoiler and Red Robin…looks like Scarecrow was gunning for him from the beginning…”

Kyle cursed, pulling his now almost catatonic partner further into his grip.

“I’m assuming you have the antidote?”

“We have the antidote for the normal strain, the one Hoo-”

“For fuck sake, use his name…”

“The one Jason was exposed to is…much more potent…he shouldn’t even be alive right now…” Kyle could feel the analyzing stare, the one Bat only used when dealing with something that made him uncomfortable…something he didn’t understand and something he didn’t control, and it sure as hell wasn’t directed at the lantern at the moment.

“But it still might work, right?”, Kyle growled.

“Hopefully. I’d prefer to have him back at the cave though…just in case.”

“Oh fuck you”

“Rayner-”

“No. NO. I’m fucking done with your holier than thou bullshit. Just give him the fucking antidote and leave. You’ve done enough to him already.” Kyle’s hand fell to the scar on Jason’s neck as he pulled him even closer.

That seemed to sober the Bat, his tense shoulders dropping in defeat. With a deep, aching sign, he pulled his cowl down and stepped towards his catatonic son. He knelt next in front of Kyle, removing a syringe and a small vial from his cloak.

“I need to inject this into his arm,” Batman explained as he filled the syringe, “remove his restraints.”

Kyle allowed the green constructs to fade out, Jason’s arms falling limply to his sides, slick with blood and sweat. The Dark Knight’s breath hitched, and his trembling hands nearly dropped syringe. He quickly recovered, squaring his shoulders as he took gingerly took ahold of his son’s battered arm. The needle was quickly inserted with no reaction, and the Bat slowly pushed the plunger. It was over as quickly as it started. Jason’s eyes fluttered closed as the antidote took effect, easing whatever horrors were plaguing his mind.

“Oh, Jaylad…” His voice was small and choked as he rubbed the lacerations on Jason’s skin. He gripped his son’s hand and pulled it against his lips, muffling a small and oh so quiet sob. Kyle simply observed, unwilling to interrupt a father’s grief, no matter how much he hated him. With a final kiss to his hand, the Bat stood, pulled on his cowl, and turned towards the still open balcony door.

“The antidote’s mixed with a sedative. With his biology, it should last a few hours,” he cleared his throat, “When he wakes up, have him call us…” And with that, the Bat was gone, slipping silently out into the night.

Jason’s breathing had evened out into the long, deep breathes of sleep, and Kyle took the opportunity to slip out from under him, laying his love down on the sofa. He quietly moved to the bathroom and retrieved the med kit stashed under the sink.

Kyle quickly returned to Jason’s side, soaked a cloth in disinfectant and carefully cleaned his arms. He stitched up the deeper scratches before wrapping bandages around each appendage.

With Jason sleeping peacefully, Kyle was able to pull off his leather jacket and body armor, being careful with each concealed weapon. Once the vigilante was in more comfortable clothing (a pair of Wonder Woman sweatpants and an old graphic tee), Kyle laid himself on the sofa, Jason’s head over his heartbeat.

#jason todd #kyle rayner #jaykyle #drabble #fanfic #fuck you bruce #be an actual dad plz #this is extremely self indulgent #fear toxin #this is kinda...longish #long post #one of these days kyle's gonna kick bruce's ass

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william-ba · 3 years

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Gumdrop Angel Review

Hey all! I’m writing this a few days after I got Gumdrop Angel, but this will be posted on May 4th. Anyway, yeah I’m one of the first three or four to get the story early! Pretty cool, right? As always, with these reviews I will be going into spoilers for them, so be warned! Overall, while many may be wary of the first story, Gumdrop Angel is a superb book that stands out from the rest as the best in the Fazbear Frights series.

For my The Puppet Carver review, go here! For my previous The Cliffs review, go here! If you want to read these in order, go here!

For the rest of the review, keep reading!

Gumdrop Angel - It was mediocre. Everything just kinda happens, and like Lonely Freddy we’re left in the dark about nearly everything going on in regards to the Gumdrop Nose, and like He Told Me Everything it's more strange biology-altering substances. Angel was an okay protagonist, and most of her actions toward her step-dad felt justified, however I hate how she treats her step-sister, Ophelia. Ophelia is five, and she keeps trying to include Angel instead of being truly spoiled and keeping everything to herself. She wants to include Angel, and Angel responds with anger and violence. And her taunting Ophelia after eating her Gumdrop Nose? Why act like that? Dominic felt like an obvious twist villain, so I’m glad that he actually cared about Angel and cried for her. Still, this story was so predictable it was boring.

Sergio’s Lucky Day - I personally liked it, but I can totally understand why others won’t. I do think this story is meant to be a dark comedy, so maybe that’s why I’m not as harsh on it. I mean, Sergio literally crashes a car because the woman he was breaking up with for trying to be nice and give him gifts grabs Lucky Boy and threatens to throw him out the window. He’s kinda like Matt, but different. Matt is very confident in himself, but all that comes from this is him failing relationships and getting pissed over a video game. Sergio lacks that. He wants validation, especially after becoming Project Manager and having a shit ton of stress put on him. When Sergio finds Lucky Boy, his luck finally begins to get good, and he wins $600,000. The difference between people giving him gifts and stuff is that Lucky Boy doesn’t directly tell him what to do. Sergio decodes his words and comes to his own conclusions. It makes him feel special. It makes him believe he can tell Dale that he’s quitting only a few weeks after getting the job. It makes him believe he has a right to track Sophia down and ask her out. So, I think this story was extremely good. Only flaw is that without Lucky Boy the scenes with Sergio are very much unpleasant.

What We Found - I love this story. Hudson is a pretty tragic character, and I can’t help but feel bad for him every time something bad happens to him. Especially when he’s being forced to relive the parts of his life that has terrorized him for years and is desperately trying to move on from. I also like how his friends, Barry and Duane, stick out for him and stay by his side as much as they can. Springtrap in this is a definite improvement from In the Flesh. The hallucinations in this story are very interesting, as we can’t quite tell what is real or fake sometimes, and I like that the story makes you question it. For example, I’m pretty sure the Chica in the vent is real. I love Fazbear’s Fright. Much better than how we see it in the games and makes more sense than some random hallways. This story does the whole “it’s close to canon but not quite” thing better than Coming Home. My only real complaint was how little Springtrap actually did anything. Sure, he was a threat, but it was mainly hallucinations and sneak attacks. I’d love it more if he was more direct. But, this story is still superb.

#five nights at freddy's #fazbear frights #gumdrop angel #sergio's lucky day #what we found #balloon boy #lucky boy #springtrap #BA Reviews

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trying-write-fanfics · 4 years

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Shouji Mezo X Reader Remember part 9

This part is a little OOC, but whatever.

Yaoyorozu and Todoroki cornered Shouji to get more information on Y/n. He re-told the asthma attacks, how she didn’t want any help, but ended up fainting. Her dorm is by the teachers and she has her own room with a laptop that has websites blocked. With her second chance at life, she might go into biology like her mother.

“I’m pretty sure your theory is right, Todoroki. I think she was experimented on.” Shouji said.

It wasn’t outright said, but with what Aizawa said, this was probably her safest place. She hasn’t tried to escape or anything. Was she escaping from anymore experiments, or was she just isolated. Isolated so she wouldn’t have anyone to talk to. No one to hear “I am here and I am hurt.” Or “save me!”

“How are you feeling?” Aizawa asked.

“Physically a little like shit and emotionally shittier! How could you tell them what I did? Now they’re gonna hate me for committing petty crimes!” Y/n whined. “They’re all wide eye heroes, now they’re gonna be so heart broken their favorite teacher was secretly a thief.”

“They figured out that you were your mother’s child and thought you were taking notes in their quirks. I came clean, and I’m actually a little proud of them for figuring something out so fast.” Aizawa said.

“Yeah but now I’m gonna get bullied!” Y/n yelled.

“They’re not gonna bully you. I heard that Shouji carried you to recovery girl, and he knew your secret.” He tried to make her feel a bit better so she could set up the class review packets.

“I mean, I guess, but that’s just what you’ve taught them.” She complained. “But I was wondering something.”

“What is it?”

“Could I call my parents or siblings or maybe see some of my middle school friends? Or at least go grocery shopping. I’m yearning for some familiarity.” She told him.

“Look at you opening up. I’d have to think about it honestly. This is supposed to be a punishment you know.” Aizawa told her.

He told her he may allow her to arrange something, but everything was going to be monitored, and that if she were to leave she’d need an escort. It turned her off on the idea a bit, not that she was planning something, she just thought it would be lame to have to hangout with her friends and Aizawa. A major reason why he was considering it was because he wanted to be the opposite of the family dynamic she had back at home. The isolation would only make Y/n worse on her development. Sure she could make new friends and adapt to this environment, but he knew how kids were. She didn’t hate it here, but she didn’t like it either. This was a new planet, but with surveillance he can allow bits and pieces to come in and out

The next day Y/n was the first person in the classroom putting packets together. It was boring and she was scared to face her peers, but it had to be done or she’d never move on. She was grateful for Shouji telling her that everyone knew, instead of being surprised by it.

“So you really are a criminal.” Butt-u-go said to her. “If you ever commit a crime again while I’m a hero I will take you down.”

“I’m gonna jay walk right in front of you just to kick your ass, other than that I have no plans to commit any more crimes.” She told him.

“How can you be so sure?” He growled.

“My old group hasn’t tried to find me at all. It’s like they forgot about me.” Y/n whined.

“Ha, loser. They all probably forgot about you.”

“Oh shut up diarrhea hands!” Y/n yelled at him.

“Y/n, were you only pretending not to recognize me?” Momo asked. “Was that part of the plan?”

“I remembered your name, but honestly I’m not so good with faces. Didn’t we last see each other like ten years ago?”

“Yeah, we were seated at the same table.”

“That sounds familiar.”

Not the familiarity she was looking for, whatever Momo seemed happy to see Y/n for whatever reason. Maybe it was familiarity for her. More students had questions for her regarding her true identity, and they promised they wouldn’t treat her any differently because everyone makes mistakes. Aizawa soon came in and class started. Today they were gonna train outside. Aizawa told Y/n he wanted her to teach them hand to hand combat. The rules were simple, practice hand to hand combat. Mineta was absent so with Y/n it was an even number.

“Y/n will give you guys some pointers, do you want to pick a volunteer?” Aizawa said.

Aizawa did have Y/n review her combat skills with him and figured there was a benefit for her to actually teach some of them. She probably learned the latest fighting styles of criminals and any tricks that were coming out to use against heroes. A 15 year old may not be the fastest and best way to combat new villains, but its a start.

“You know I always pick on Butt-U-go, does anyone else wanna try?” She said.

“Sounds like you’re scared!” Bakugo yelled.

“Iida lets fight.”

“I accept your challenge!”

“Okay so when fighting one on one you need to address your weaknesses, I don’t know yours, but I bet one is your head.” She told Iida as the others began training. Y/n took Iida’s wrists. “Make sure that your arms aren’t locked until you have you to defend yourself…”

She continued tactics that she learned when she was in training. Sure she still needed some, but her perspective brought a fresh light on their training, and they needed it.

“Now try and hit me.”

Shouji heard that sentence and let his hand watch. Iida pulled his fist back and then tried to release a blow. Y/n grabbed his wrist and pulled it around his torso and got behind him. She put her other hand by his neck to make it seem like a hostage situation. She then went to correct his form and they went again. Shouji was sure that he was going to be picked to be her partner, and yet… Why did he care?

“Iida you have more limbs that just your legs you gotta punch better.” Y/n told him.

“I have nerve damage-“

“Wait seriously?”

“Yeah, I was-“

“When you’re up against someone who wants to kill you and your legs are all stalled out, they don’t know you have nerve damage, at least pretend you don’t to still scare them, that’s like your greatest strength is the unknown you have about yourself. That’s how I almost kicked Aizawa’s ass.”

What? How in the hell did this 15 year old, loud mouth, go hand to hand with Eraserhead. Okay they knew, but still, sure Aizawa told them but it was weird hearing it from her. It’s a hero’s job to capture criminals, not kill. He didn’t know what L/n’s intentions were. Still when the USJ attack happened he was well equipped when versing a majority of criminals. Was it because she didn’t rely on her quirk that shocked him.

“You have a lot of depth for this topic.”

“Well now you know, I’m a minor to reform.” She said. “By the way I’m sorry about your brother.”

“I know you have nothing to do with Stain.” He told her. “I just have a hard time understanding why you did commit crime.”

“If you think my mind set was, hey I’m gonna start trouble today, you’re wrong. It was at first helping someone.” She told Iida as she resumed the training by throwing a punch at him. He blocked it, but her second fist was the real blow as it stopped before she hit him in the nose. “I thought I could do anything for my friend.”

Iida had already heard she sacrificed herself which was why she was here.

“Even if you knew what your friend was doing wrong?” Iida asked jumping back to give them some distance to recalculate.

“I’m still learning my moral compass, but like hell I’ll let the stiff law be it.” She pretended to punch him.

He thought he knew the move she was doing. Another side punch to the face, but instead she hopped and lifted her leg to the other side of his face. She was good at diversions. While he turned his head to focus on her fist, he would have been kicked in the back of the head. But she didn’t hit him, she brought her leg back when she landed.

“You know in one of these situations, you could just push me down. You might get grazed, but you don’t have to be so defensive.” She told him.

“I have to say, you’re quite good at multitasking. You can carry a conversation and spar at the same time.” Iida told her.

“...thank you.” It took her a minute not to think of a response that either made wouldn’t make her gloat or wasn’t sassy. “I’m sure you’ll get out of your straight and narrow mind to get like that.”

She can try.

“That can’t be too much of a bad thing!”

“I’m teasing, hero bloodline.”

She gave advice to a few more students. She was able to surprise them with her tactics. Though she didn’t see them fight as much, she learned a lot by watching them all in class. The class learned they didn't watch her that well, or that she did have something to offer. Her bored face and weird phrases didn’t give them anything about her fighting style. Sure Iida had engine legs, but his reactions weren’t fast enough for someone he still underestimated. Someone who couldn’t fight with their quirk, who got caught, who never had proper training was still able to fight them well enough to surprise them. If able to use their quirk, no doubt they could fight her and win, but that’s not the purpose of the training. Someone like the head of the league of villains could touch them and their bodies would shrivel up to dust. Being too rash could result in death.

“So you got a rival, Iida?” Y/n asked.

“There is someone I thought I looked down on, but he’s grown past me now-“

“It’s beefcake isn’t it.” Y/n said.

“Hey you didn’t let me finish.”

“I can’t wait forever for you to get to the point!” Y/n whined. “God all you guys hate on beefcake.”

“I don’t hate him! I just hate how poorly I misjudged someone.” Iida said. “He’s my friend, an ally.”

“I mean, okay.” She didn’t totally understand his reasoning, but she wasn’t gonna think long on it.

“You’ve kinda locked on him yourself.” Iida told her.

“I worry for him. He’s a sweet kid.”

“He’s our age.”

“Okay but we all pretended I was older so…”

“Hey! Pencil pusher, why didn’t you pick on me for training? You scared?” Bakugou yelled.

“I don’t want you to fart on me, god!” Y/n yelled back.

The class went back to the room for a head count and waited to be released from school to the dorms. Y/n sat next to Aizawa. The phone rang.

“Class 1-A, teaching aid speaking.” Y/n said.

“(Last name) your father has called. If you want to take it, come to the front office. The phone call will be recorded and listened to.” The sectary told her.

“Oh my god really- Aizawa you wouldn’t believe it! I have a phone call at the front office, I’m practically the president of coolest person here.” Y/n said.

“You may go.”

“I don’t know where it is.” Y/n told him.

“Kirishima, you wanna help (last name) to the front office?” Aizawa asked.

“Sure!”

“I’ll be there soon, tell my father!” Y/n told the phone.

#shouji mezou #shoji mezo #xreader #bnha #bnha fanfiction #series #bnha x reader #bnha shoji #mezo x reader #mezo shouji

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youremeimyou · 5 years

Text

The Bet (pt.2)

Part 1 - Part 2

pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader genre: fluff, a little more angst than the first part word count: 4k warnings: none other than stressful college life

Description: Taehyung and Y/N have managed to form a strong bond over their years of college. According to their friends, the chemistry between the two is undeniable. But the duo would rather not risk the close friendship. The very friendship that’ll be put to test by the boldest of bets, it seems.

A/N: This part turned out to be more like on the “college au” side of things. I enjoyed writing it so much. The ending parts killed me everytime I read it :’) So I really hope you guys like it. I’d love it if you guys let me know what you think of it. Enjoy!

When Y/N woke up next morning, she didn't feel the least bit rested. Considering it was already next morning when she finally came home and went to sleep, it wasn't that surprising. She grabbed her phone to see if there were any texts from.. well, someone she wouldn't admit to be expecting texts from. Instead, a long list of missed calls from both her parents greeted her on the screen. Do I have to meet them? Do I have to get up and shower right now? Her brain answered yes to both. She quickly got ready and rushed to the little café they always met up at.

"So, how was finals week?"

"Do you have to shout mom?" Her mom wasn't shouting but boy was Y/N hungover. Her parents were confused. Both because she was being a prat and because she was wearing sunglasses inside.

"Sorry. I just have a migraine."

"Oh sweety, didn't you take your medicine. You probably ran out on finals week didn't you?" And bingo. Somehow her mom knew how her daughter struggled with exams and still wanted her to do the best.

"Let's buy you some new ones from the pharmacy down the block."

"It's okay, dad. I'll take care of it. How are you guys doing?"

"We're doing just fine sweety. Your mom made-"

"Let's tell her! I can't wait any longer." Her mom cut in. Then she continued with a wide smile.

"Remember the lab you were talking about last mounth? The one you said you loved the work they did."

"Yeah, BioGrid. Why?"

"You know your dad's friend Ryu used to be the driver of the CEO. And turns out, once he drove his wife to the hospital when she went into early labor and saved her life. Anyway, I saw on the newspaper that they were opening a new lab here in our city. So I had Ryu send them your CV. And they want to have you start as an intern."

"What? Mom when did you- and how did you-" Y/N was confused to say the least with all the information she was fed in just a few seconds. "But, I have school."

"I know, dear. They also know you're still a student. They agreed on making the schedule in a way you can do both. I mean with how well you're doing, damn right they should."

Both her parents had proud looks on their faces. It was endearing. But the fact that no one even thought to ask for her opinion beforehand, frustrated her. She was -like always- just suppossed to find a way to handle both. Always had to exceed expectations let alone meeting them. And yes, she'd really love to work there one day. Not this day though. She already had enough migraines regarding school. But, she wasn't gonna argue. This was a topic she could never be found right about. So she just expressed her gratitude and everyone went on with their brunch.

.........

Y/N's phone screen lit up with back to back messages. She rolled to the other side of her bed to reach it.

Tae: Sorry, I was out at the backyard shooting hoops.

Tae: Didn't hear you call.

Tae: Whassup?

She was relieved he got back to her. Hoping it would mean he wasn't avoiding her.

Y/N: No problem. And nothing's up. I mean something is but I'd rather not text about that right now.

Her phone started ringing a few seconds after she sent the text.

-‘Taetae’ calling...-

"Hey, Tae-"

"What happened?"

"I just wrote that-"

"You said you didn't wanna text about it. So I called. Now, tell me."

Y/N smiled. He always just knew how to make it better. So Y/N told him everything that went down and how she felt about it.

"Sounds to me like a great opportunity. Yet, also a great deal of work, huh?"

"Yeah."

"What're you gonna do?"

"What can I do but comply?"

"You can try to talk to your parents-"

"When has that ever been an option? And I already contacted the lab. They said I start Monday. Monday's like tomorrow!" He could tell she was frowning and scrunching her cute little nose, through the phone. "Anyways, what're you up to?"

"Gotta hit the library from now on. Full-on study week awaits. I've to take the make up test next week for plant bio. After I handed my paper to the teacher after the exam and saw the look on her face, I knew I should've given an empty paper instead of writing any kind of answers."

They both chuckled to that.

"Can't be that bad.." after Taehyung didn't reply for like five seconds, she continued, "can it?"

"Oh, it is." Both giggled again. "I was actually gonna ask you to tutor me this week. But you’re starting the internship. I gotta pull it off by myself somehow."

"No way am I letting you suffer plant bio alone. Of course I'll help you."

"You don't have to really. You already have that nanobiotech article review thing Professor Ling assigned you. When's that due again?"

"Shiiiittt. I forgot about that. That's next week.."

"You should get started on it."

"I will. I mean.. first I gotta find an article to review but I got this. And I'm definetly helping you out." She laughed. It was a nervous laugh but a laugh nonetheless.

"Just get started on your stuff. We'll talk later."

"Okay. Text me when you're headed to the library. Bye."

It turned out the next day was indeed Monday. So Y/N started the internship. BioGrid was really nice. She felt happy to be there, witnessing the new frontiers of her field. First they discussed the schedule, then they started working. She never imagined her first day to be this tiring.

After the busy first experience, Y/N finally got on the bus home. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. It was a set of links sent from Taehyung. All the links were of articles related to nanobiotechnology. She felt her heart flutter.

It was Friday and the week went by in a blink of an eye for Y/N. She was so busy all the time. She mostly went to sleep with headaches and woke up with them still there. Only could drop by the school for a few classes. Oh yes, she was also taking summer school for extra credit. It was easily the most worn out she had ever been. But she was glad she made it to the 9.15 class today, In hopes to finally see Taehyung who she hadn't seen whole week. So naturally, it was dissappointing when he didn't show. As she was walking out of the class she saw the announcement paper hanging on the notice board.

'Classrooms determined for Saturday's Plant Biology make up test'

Holy shit. Y/N completely forgot about tutoring Taehyung. She quickly called him but no response. Again and again she called as she practically ran to his apartment but he never picked up. Once she knocked on his door, she heard someone else alongside Taehyung's familiar voice through it. Then, there was the sound of footsteps getting closer and closer until the door opened.

"Y/N? Hey-"

"I know we only have one day, well even less than a day till the test but we can do this." Y/N brushed past Taehyung and let herself in. "Now step aside and let me force every single bit of knowledge I have upon you abou-"

She swallowed the rest of her sentence when her gaze met Jessie's who was sitting comfortably on Taehyung’s couch.

"Oh, see Taetae? And you thought smartypants forgot about you."

Jessie was being her usual irritating ass self towards Y/N. Y/N didn't have any beef with her, though. She was just another chick who’s sore about the fact Taehyung spent more time with Y/N more than any of the girls in school. Y/N knew being hated by most girls on campus came with the Taehyung friendship package.

"I never said that. And don't be annoying, Jess."

Jess? Really? What happened to Jessica or even Jessie at this point?

"What are you guys-"

“I’m teaching Taehyung stuff.” No one spoke for a brief moment. Because this was definetely not something anyone would consider normal. So, Y/N was kinda right to be baffled.

“Yeah well, who knew? Jess knows school stuff and she can share it with others. Wow, right?”

Jess. Tch….

Jessie just glared at him. “I guess you know all you can fathom at this point. I’m done here.” She started walking towards the exit. She stopped suddenly and turned back to say something she forgot to. “Breathe a word of this me tutoring thing to anyone and you can probably guess that it’ll be ugly.” And with that being said, she walked out.

“So.. are you really ready for the test?”

“As ready as I can be, I guess. I almost peed my pants when Jessie said she could help. But she really knows her stuff, I gotta say. Guess plants are just her thing.”

“I did see her trying to hide her results paper in plant bio once.”

“Yeah, that sounds like her. Hiding good grades to keep from ruining her reputation.” Taehyung smiled. And Y/N couldn’t believe how much that annoyed her. It was just a simple comment about the girl and a simple smile. And Y/N didn’t understand why but she was openly hurt.

“Why didn’t you call me Tae?” she asked with a frown.

“I knew you were busy.”

“I can unbusy myself for you. You know that. Instead you go to Jessica. No wait, what was it? Oh right, Jess.”

Her voice contained anger and dissappointment. And it was coming on much too stronger than she intented to.

“I told you she was the one who offered to help-“

“Yeah, because you confided in her. Not me, not any of our other friends but your Jess.” She practically yelled this part. And as soon as the words came out, she regretted every single one. Y/N knew it was her that messed up, not Taehyung. She supposedly came here to apologize but what greeted her when she came in made her see red. And the rest was history.

“She’s not my Jess. That’s not and will never be a thing.” Taehyung on the other hand remained calm. Even through the bitchy exterior, he knew Y/N was just stressed. He couldn’t bring himself to be angry with her when she had dark circles around her eyes like that.

“And speaking of our other friends, hyungs were asking about you the whole week. So was Chungha. I thought you would’ve at least talked to her at some point.”

Y/N couldn’t speak to anyone lately. Not even her best friend as Taehyung pointed out.

“Anyways, they figured out we hung out last Saturday. The hyungs gave me a ton of crap cuz they didn’t see you since like last month or something and I didn’t take ‘em with us to the party.”

Y/N knew she had a lot to make up for. It was true that she didn’t really hang out with her friends for almost a month. First it was the finals week, now she had the internship. It was starting to get really lonely.

“How are you doing with the article review? I hoped I could take some of the weight of your shoulders but I doubt the ones I sent were helpful.”

Taehyung continued the conversation like the arguement never happened. He wasn’t making eye contact with Y/N though. He went to sit on the table and looked out the window. The way sunshine landed on his face and made the brown locks of his hair seem blonde was perfect. The way his long eyelashes brushed his cheekbones as he blinked was perfect. There he was being all beautiful in front of her. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way.

“Once again, I forgot about that assignment. But the second one you sent was perfect, actually. I’ll go on from that. I only have to clean two labs and write reports on the devices in those labs before, that’s all.”

“Wow. I hope you get paid for that shit.” He smiled a beautiful smile and their eyes met.

“Not enough, if you ask me.” She returned it with a grin.

“Try not to forget about the artice again.” His smile became a part frown to show his worry for a quick moment. Then he broke the eye contact again and continued looking out the window. Y/N felt like it was time to go.

“I’ll see you after your test. We should gather everyone to hang.”

He replied with a nod.

“Good luck.”

She went home after that. And announced a gathering in the group chat as promised.

-‘Chungha monster’ calling…-

“Before you yell, I’m sorry I didn’t check in with you since forever Chungs.”

“You think I’ll yell about that when there’re more important things? You went out on a date with Taehyung!”

“It wasn’t a date! This is why we don’t invite you guys anymore-“

“Yeah yeah, sure. I heard from Cho that he was all over you, so spill.”

“And he said there wouldn’t be anyone there who knew us.”

“Why? So you could do piravate stuf-“

“Chungs stop!” Y/N felt flustered.as.fuck.

“Fine, I’ll force the details out Monday when we meet. I missed our gatherings. Good thing you planned it.”

“I know, me too. See you then!”

Swiftly, the weekend went by with Y/N cramped up in a ton of work again. On her mind was Taehyung. How’d he do for the test? Why hasn’t he called since last time? And why do I miss him like this? She decided to give him space after going kinda crazy on him last time. She just had to wait till Monday. And Monday came but Y/N didn’t know cuz she was still stuck at the lab. In fact she couldn’t go home Sunday night, watching over some plants crucial to an experiment.

This internship had a way of making her lose track of time. Until she saw the 38 missed calls from Chungha. Then she asked for the rest of the day off and ran to her best friend’s aparment.

“Sorry I’m late you guys. I missed you sooo much.” As soon as she walked in, the gang gave her a collective hug. Then each of them scolded her for being absent for such a long time. Especially Jin, he gave like a whole lecture on it.

Jungkook, Jimin and Hoseok trapped her between their bodies and took a bunch of selfies, calling it her punishment. Y/N was giggling as she tried to free herself from three koala bears. Once she finally managed to do so, she gave them a questioning frown.

“Where’s Taetae?”

Jungkook and Jimin immediately looked at each other, then on the ground. Hoseok just shrugged.

“He cancelled last minute. Family thing I guess. We were gonna celebrate him passing plant bio but sadly he can’t make it.” Chungha answered. Y/N’s heart sank. She waited all weekend to give him space. But now it felt like he was out of reach. Even though he was calm and collected last time they saw each other, she felt like he was distant. After what happened at the party, Y/N was more drawn to him then ever before. Like a switch was flipped and she wasn’t able to put away the attaction she felt like she used to be. But he was acting like it didn’t even happen. Like nothing changed for him. It drove her crazy.

“Oh, Y/N. Proffesor Ling told me she loved the review you sent her. She just couldn’t put in the marks due to a problem in the system. She says grades will be up there in a few days.”

“What? I didn- I mean I forgot about that again and I- but how-“

“Girl, you’re blabbering. Let’s start the movie guys.”

Y/N didn’t even focus for a moment during the movie. She checked her mail and saw that the article review was indeed sent. But it wasn’t her who did that. Apperently it wasn’t Chungha either so that left only one person. The one guy that wasn’t here right now. The guy who made Y/N’s heart beat out of her chest.

After the movie everyone went their own way. It was already dark outside. Despite being tired Y/N didn’t want to go home. Ever since she started as an intern, it felt like she had no time to do stuff. She decided to take a stroll down the riverside. Tonight was also too breezy to be a summer night and Y/N didn’t have a coat, again. The river happened to be really close to Taehyung’s place. Would you look at that coincidence! There was nothing more Y/N wanted than to see him at that moment. So she went to his place and knocked his door, waiting anxiously.

A messy haired, puffy faced, confused looking Taehyung opened the door. Great, now I wanna snuggle up to him.

“Were you sleeping? Sorry-“

“Hey, no it’s okay.” His voice deep and raspy, its affect on Y/N indescribable. “What’re you doing here?”

“Umm.. I was just by the river and it got kinda chilly but I couldn’t find a cab and I thought you might be up but you must be tired I should’ve just-“

“Breath Y/N. Come in.”

Taehyung plumped down on the couch. Y/N sat next to him a second later. But like really next to him. No space kinda next to him. Taehyung’s gaze was fixated on the floor. Until he jumped up suddenly. “I’ll make some coffee or something.”

“Did you do my assignment and send it to Professor Ling?”

Taehyung paused for a moment. “You remember how you logged in to your account on my phone? Well, it kinda stayed there. And I just wanted to check if you sent anything and saw you didn’t. So you know, I mean you already said you liked the second article I sent y-“

“Breath Tae.” they laughed after that and the mood lifted up thanks to it. But Taehyung kept busying himself on the counter and not making eye contact with Y/N still.

“I can’t thank you enough. I wish you would’ve called me and reminded me instead of going through all that trouble.”

“You already had a lot to do. And you had already forgotten about it despite me reminding you like 8 times. I just scrabbled some stuff, it wasn’t like any trouble. Let’s hope you actually get a good mark.”

“Professor Ling loved it. And she never gives compliments to me. It must’ve been more than a scrabble.”

Taehyung actually made a lot of effort. More effort than he ever made for his own work. Not that he’d admit it to her face right now.

“So how was your day?”

“Oh, I didn’t do much. In fact I don’t think I even got out today. Kinda feeling under the weather a little.”

“Wait. Didn’t you have a family thing?”

Shit. He just exposed himself. He dropped the porcelain mug and cut his hand on the broken pieces.

“Tae, are you okay?” Y/N ran to him in worry. “Let me see.”

She saw it was bleeding and cleaned the wound for him. Taehyung pointed to the cupboard where first-aid stuff were. She wrapped bandages around his hand. She didn’t let go of his hand when she was done though. She stood there, really close to him and looked him in the eyes. Like trying to transmit a message from her eyes to his. It was just like their many moments back at the party. Full of tension, suspense and longing. Taehyung panicked and stepped away.

“Thanks for the-“

“What’s going on Taehyung? Cuz it seems to me like you’re trying to avoid me. I mean you won’t even make eye contact. And I don’t get it because you’re also looking out for me, doing my assignments for me without even making it known. You’re making me confused. And driving me crazy!”

“I’m driving you crazy? That’s rich.”

“What do you mean-“

“Friends look out for each other don’t they? And since I’m your friend I try to do my part. You know.. as a friend!”

“Taehyung I-“

“And yeah I’m avoiding you. I’m trying to stay the hell away from you because I can’t-“ he paused and lowered his loud volume before he continued. “After the party I just can’t stop thinking about you.”

Y/N felt like her voice was ripped out of her. She wanted to say something, that she also had him on her mind. How she felt so grateful for his help, how she was so sorry for not being around. But she just couldn’t utter a word.

“Look I- it wasn’t just impulses that night. It was a long time coming for me. Because you drive me crazy. But you were right. We’re close friends. You’re practically my best friend. And I can’t lose you. I just have to pull it together.”

“Tae-“

“Don’t feel awkward. Please don’t feel awkward okay?”

“Let me speak dumbass.”

Taehyung couldn’t even look at her. It was unbareable to wait for what was about to come. He, who was a known campus fuckboy -which he may or may not have taken pride in- never developed these kind of feelings for another girl. Well since they met freshman year, he didn’t really have much emotional availability for other girls. Not like this girl right here. The girl he bought a blue jacket for.

Once again Y/N walked to him but slowly this time. He was standing next to the kitchen counter. She went next to him, leaned back on the counter, then looked at him.

“You won.”

“Wha-“

“You won the bet.”

She could swear she saw Taehyung’s eyes sparkle for a second.

“I did?”

Feeling embarrassed, Y/N lowered her gaze to Taehyung’s chest who was now standing in front of her.

“In a way, you didn’t. Because c’mon, how could I not have developed feelings for you this whole time? It’s just, after the party I couldn’t keep it in anymore. But I thought you were being distant because you thought of it as a mistake or something.” Her voice got smaller towards the end of her sentence.

Taehyung lightly grabbed her chin and made her look up to him. Okay, his eyes are definetely shooting stars. Then, he put his hands on the counter behind her, his arms softly trapping her on both sides.

“You’re looking at me like you’re about to kiss me.”

“What makes you say that?” Taehyung said as he started getting closer.

“Cause last time you were looking at me like that, you almost did.”

He paused. But this time he gave a little chuckle and closed his eyes. Then, their lips met. Y/N melted into the soft, warm and wistful kiss. Taehyung’s lips were honey, they hugged hers perfectly. Y/N moved her hands up from his chest to the back of his head, pulling a little on the tips of his hair. It made Taehyung hum lowly into the kiss and deepen it, pulling Y/N even closer by her waist. Until they finally broke apart to breathe. Taehyung leaned his forehead against hers.

“Wait. This means I have the right to brag about how I made you fall for me for the rest of eternity.”

“But what about the part I romantically declared that I was already in love with you?”

“I’m still telling everyone that I made you fall for me on the dancefloor with my smooth moves, babe.”

Y/N pulled him in for another quick kiss. Taehyung smiled against her mouth.

“I don’t know why we ever worried about ruining our friendship. We get to be best friends who can also make out! How amazing is that?”

“It’s the best idea your smart little brain full of IQ points have ever produced, love.”

Taehyung knew there was no way he’d let her go anywhere tonight after all that.

“So, how ‘bout I get started on that coffee again and you pick an anime for us to binge on my bed till we fall asleep?”

“I wanted to snuggle up to you since I saw you when you opened the door.”

He quickly brushed his nose against hers and then took two mugs from the cupboard.

“Here, you have the blue mug.”

“Yay! I love blue.”

“I know.”

...

Author’s note: I can’t believe I just finished my first fic aAgghhH. If you guys bared with me and read that whole ass thing, thank you so so much I hope you liked it. Once again I”m sorry if there are any mistakes. I wish you all a beautiful dayyyyy :)))

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brianandthemays · 5 years

Text

The Earth and the Moon (Brian May x reader)

A/N I know the deadline for A Night at the Fandom isn’t until next week but I just can’t wait anymore!!!

Thank yoooou sooooo much to @zodiacal-dust-and-curls for helping with the writing and for beta reading for me! I appreciate yousoooo much!

For @freddiedearfriend I hope you love!

Word COunt: 3.3k

Warnings: Sciencey? A little angst, some drinking, fluff!

Pls comment, reblog, send an ask! Feedback is always appreciated!!

_________________________________________________

What happens when the earth falls in love with the moon?

You slouched over you desk, chewing on the end of your pencil as you struggled with the reaction in front of you. Your partner, Roger Taylor, on the other hand, seemed to be whizzing through the reactions in front of you. When you decided to major in Biology you’d forgotten about Organic Chemistry, and these organic reactions were going to be the end of you. You scribbled down the rest of the reaction before glancing over at Roger’s paper. Similarly, he leaned over and looked at yours.

“Oh, love,” he tsked, shaking his head. “You put the electrons in the wrong place again.” You groaned loudly, setting your pencil down and burying your face in your arms. Roger placed a hand on your back sympathetically. “Hey, on the bright side, if you fail out of organic chemistry, you can have room for an art minor. Your hexagons are great.”

“Roger! Not helping,” you snapped, snatching up your pencil and erasing furiously at your paper. “I’m never going to pass this class and then I’m never going to graduate, and then I’ll never get accepted into medical school and then I’ll be sad and lonely forever.”

“Now that is an over exaggeration,” Roger replied, plucking your pencil from out of your hands and beginning to draw the correct hexagons on your paper. “I’ll let you cheat off my final.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that,” you deadpanned, watching him work.

He drew the answers so seamlessly it made you irritated. This stupid pretty blonde was actually intelligent meanwhile you could remember where stupid electrons went on a hexagon. You’d drawn so many circles and hexagons over the past few months that you were starting to hate all shapes. You cringed whenever you saw a stop sign. But the subject seemed to come naturally to Roger, and that wasn’t the only thing that’d come naturally to him.

“You should meet my mate,” he muttered, continuing to work on your paper. “His name’s Brian, he’s in… uh… astro… astro… blimey what’s the word.” He paused for a second and stared into the desk, his forehead creasing in concentration.

“Astrophysics?” You offered, raising an eyebrow at him.

Roger’s eyes lit up and he flashed you a smile. “Yeah! That’s it, you heard of him?”

Had you heard of Brian? Brian May? Your silent study buddy who sat diagonally from you in the library. Every Tuesday and Thursday from six to eight in the evening, you would study ‘together’. His soft complexion and kind eyes drew you to sit next to him the first time and since then, you’d been too afraid to actually hold a conversation to him. One time, you bought him some chips and he’d thanked you with a soft blush but that was the extent of it.

“Uh, yeah… I think I’ve seen him around.” You shrugged, tapping your fingers on the table, not looking in any particular direction.

Roger nodded turning back to the paper. “Yeah, well. He seems like your type. Smart, likes stars, stuff like that.”

“Oh, and that’s my type?” you scoffed, resting your hand on your chin to watch him.

“I just think you’d get along is all I meant,” he clarified, wiping away the excess eraser and sliding your paper back to you. “There you go, good as new.”

“Thanks Roger, I really owe you,” you admitted truthfully, glancing over the paper. Roger smirked and sat back in his chair. “Seriously Roger. You’re a life saver.”

“Ok, come see my band,” he said, glancing back over at you.

“Band?”

“Yeah, I’m in a rock band with Brian.” He shrugged as if it was the plainest thing in the world. “I’m a drummer.”

“Brian?”

It was hard for you to grasp that Brian was in a rock band. He seemed so reserved and preforming in front of a crowd did not seem like his kind of thing.

“Yeah, he’s really good. Plays guitar,” Roger told you, turning back to his paper. “Now help me with number 6.”

“What about me makes you think I can help you with that?” you chuckled, leaning over to look at the reaction on the paper. He laughed and shook his head, beginning to scribble out a hexagon. “My hexagons are much better than that.”

For the earth to circulate, she needs the moon, and for the moon to have an orbit, he needs the earth.

Tuesday night, you found yourself in the library as always. Tonight, you were studying profusely for your Histology class. Yes, the class was interesting but that didn’t make it any less a pain in the ass. But tonight, was different; Brian wasn’t there. 5 minutes into your study sesh, you’d noticed his absence but brushed it off. 30 minutes in, you began to worry. An hour in, you were thrown off. You were so used to having his presence across from you that you were finding it physically hard to concentrate.

You stared at the open textbook, trying to will yourself to read, but just found yourself rereading the same paragraph over and over again. You blew air quickly through you mouth, burying your hands in your hair.

“You okay there?”

You looked around wildly, trying to find out where the voice came from. Your eyes fell on a saggy mop of hair, smiling sheepishly at you. In his hands where two cups of, what looked like, coffee. He glanced down at the coffee before placing one down next to you.

“I didn’t know how you took it,” he admitted with a tight smile. “So, I hope you like cream and sugar.” He took his place diagonally from you and plucked his own textbook out of his bag.

“Thank you… Brian.”

At that he smiled. A bright smile. Almost blinding in the dark lighting of the library. The realization that you knew his name was exciting to him though he didn’t quite know why. He just nodded shortly, turning to his book. A silence falling over the two of you. A kinder silence than the one you had put yourself in before. But you couldn’t help but glance over at him, staring at his complexion. The curve of his nose leading his eyes down to the paper before him, his sprawling fingers over the edge of the paper that at remnants of white finger nail polish on them.

“I know your mate…” you said softly, dragging your eyes up to his. Surprisingly, they were already planted on you. “Roger… we have classes together.”

Brian blushed, a warm pink covering his pale cheeks as he nodded slightly.

“He told me about you too,” he told you. “Kept insisting that you were –"

“Your type?” you finished, your lips curling up into a grin. You scooted your chair a little closer to his as you grew more comfortable with conversation, your feet almost touching under the table. “He told me the same thing earlier today. Right after he told me you were in a band with him.”

If you though he was pink before, this was something else. His whole face, from his neck to his forehead, turned a bright shade of red as he began to stutter.

“Oh well—it’s nothing special—I just—in my spare time—”

You reached out and placed your hand on top of his. “Brian, it’s okay. I think it’s cool.”

You stared at each other for a moment. His eyes darted between you and your hand on top of his. You quickly realized exactly what you were doing, and pulled away your hand, placing it in your lap.

“I just didn’t take you as the type,” you finished, looking down at the table.

He seemed frozen in close, still looking at where your hand had once been as you silently kicked yourself for your stupidity.

“It’s just a hobby.” He shrugged, turning back to his textbook. Things were quiet after that. An odd tension that you’d never felt before settled over the room. And though the tension lingered, your concentration did not. You found yourself stuck in the same rut as before just this time, there was no one to blame but yourself. Finally, you just had to say something. Something to ease the growing pressure in your chest.

“Well, I’d like to see you play sometime,” you muttered, playing with your hair.

Brian looked back over at you, seemingly surprised that you had spoken up.

“You… you would?” he questioned, cocking his head.

“Uh, yeah,” you confirmed, finally looking back up at him. “Besides, I kinda owe Roger for helping me not fail Organic Chemistry”

Brian chuckled, picking at the nail polish on his nails.

“I also owe Roger a few favors so I understand,” he agreed thoughtfully. “This Friday… we’re having a performance with our new bassist.”

But sometimes, the Earth can’t see the moon; they become separated from each other.

“Oh my god! You like him!” Roger shouted, eyes widening quickly.

You often grabbed lunch with Roger after your noon class and were currently sitting outside of a restaurant you frequented and across a plate of fries. You were retelling the events of the night before, the coffee, the hand touching, the awkward tension. Now, Roger was giggling like a school child who had just gotten in trouble with their teacher.

“Why do I tell you these things?” you groaned, throwing a french fry at him. He chuckled and knocked the fry away.

“Okay, okay, okay, tell me what happened again,” he questioned, leaning forward to grab a fry. You glared at him and flopped your head down on the table in front of you. “Oh cheer up it’s not that bad. He’s smashed for you too.” You twisted your neck up so you were looking at him in disbelief. “I’m serious! He talks about his silly study buddy all the time!”

“Don’t lie to me to make me feel better,” you mumbled, pulling the plate of fries closer to you.

“No, it’s cute. It’s really adorable,” he mused, smiling down at you. “You’re adorable.” He poked your nose. You scrunched your nose, blowing furiously through your nostrils. You sat up and rested your chin on your hand tracing shapes into the condensation on your glass.

“It’s literally the first time we’ve ever had a conversation,” you mumbled sadly. “And I blew it.”

Roger stared at you sympathetically, still munching on a french fry.

“I wouldn’t say blew it…” he started, causing you to look at him, hopefully. “Just, mildly… messed up.”

“Why would you phrase your sentence that way!” You shouted in exasperation, flinging your hands wildly. “And with a pause in the middle!”

Roger’s grin dropped suddenly, his eyes widening as his focus shifted to something behind you. Then, his lips twisted into a playful smirk as he returned his gaze to you.

“Don’t look now but Lover Boy is standing right behind you,” he snickered, nodding his head to the right.

You whirled around in your seat, turning to see Brian standing outside the door to the restaurant. You gaped, you eyes turning in saucers as you saw him. Of all the things that were going through your brain right now, this was not what you needed.

“I told you not to look,” Roger sneered, hitting you arm. You looked over your shoulder and glared at him. “I’ll call him over here, you two can sort this out yourselves.”

“Roger, wait, don’t-”

But he never did, he just sat there staring at where Brian was,the playfulness leaving his eyes. He grabbed your hand and stood up quickly, starting to drag you in the opposite direction.

“Roger, what are you doing.” You yanked your hand out of his and stood walking

“Let’s just leave. C’mon you’ll see him tomorrow,” he insisted, trying to grab at your hand again.

“Roger, what’s wrong?” You started to turn around but Roger grabbed your shoulders and prevented you. “Roger, let go of me.”

“It’s nothing, just please… don’t turn around.” He seemed so sincere. His big blue eyes were laced with concern and you were confused. He let go of you and you turned around. There was Brian, standing now with another girl, she laughed at something he said before she reached up and kissed his cheek. That’s when your heart broke.

“Oh.”

You didn’t realize exactly how much you had fallen for him until you saw that. It hurt… a lot. You found yourself struggling for words or some real reaction other than ‘oh’. Then you felt a tear roll down your cheek. You didn’t even know you had teared up, and now you felt the entire force of sadness hit you.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry-- I don’t even know who that is-- maybe there’s--”

“Please Roger I just want to go somewhere else,” you choked out, tearing your eyes away from Brian and the girl.

Roger nodded and began to lead you towards his car.

But no matter what, the Earth and the Moon always make their way back to each other

Why you were standing in the back of a damp pub on a Friday night you didn’t even know. Somehow,

Roger had convinced you to come and hear Brian’s side of the story, promising that he wouldn’t leave your side all night. Reluctantly you agreed because you really did want to know how they sounded. Unsurprisingly, they were great. Especially Brian. Seeing him up there was unbelievable. It was like he was a different person. His fingers flitted so seamlessly across the fretboard over his beautiful guitar.

Roger was brilliant too, of course. And as per his promise, as soon as the concert ended he was by your side. Much to the dismay of a few girls but you knew he wasn’t super interested in that. He never had a dry spell but he also wasn’t one to give it away to anyone who asked.

“Well, what’d you think?” he shouted over the noise of the pub.

“That was amazing, Roger!” You threw your arms around him, laughing happily. You moved to pull away but before you could, Roger pulled you closer and held you close to his body.

“Bri’s staring,” he murmured in your ear before pulling back. You glanced over your shoulder and met the pair of hazel eyes watching you. You felt your chest start to swell with emotion and you tore your gaze away, back to Roger.

“You alright?” He asked, concern lacing his features. You nodded, not quite trusting yourself to speak just yet. “You sure?” He placed a hand on your arm, brushing it up and down to soothe you.

“Yep, yeah, I’m good, “you replied quickly, closing your eyes for a moment. Then you opened them, determined. “I just need a drink.”

“That I can get you.” Roger smirked, pulling you towards the bar. And, as per promise, he rarely left your side. The occasional fan or girl would come up to speak with him and he would amuse them for a time but then always turn back to you.

You were introduced to Freddie Bulsara (Mercury?) and John Deacon, the other two members of the band. Roger told you how John was finishing his trial run tonight and seemed to be a good fit for the band. Freddie immediately complemented you on your outfit and demanded you come visit him and Roger at their retail shop in Kensington.

You were beginning to think you’d be able to get through the night without having to face Brian and you were perfectly okay with that. But then Roger left to use the bathroom. Leaving you alone at the bar.

“I feel like you been avoiding me.”

His voice made you flinch. You whirled around quickly, looking up at him. You let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of your neck.

“That’s crazy… sorry about that,” you offered, trying to back away.

“I’m glad you came, I actually wanted to ask you something—” The rest of his sentence was cut off by a man walking between the two of you, earning a glare from the both of you.

“Sorry I didn’t hear you, Brian.” You shook your head, feeling a body bump you forward, towards him. “I should probably find Roger he’ll be—”

“Are you and him… ya know…”

“Oh, no. He’s just my—”

Again, another body walked in between the two of you. You huffed and took a step back, when did this pub get so busy?

“Is your girlfriend here?” You asked, leaning in slightly.

Brian’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Now it was your turn to be confused. “But Roger and I saw you at—”

Both of you groaned as yet another person moved through your conversation and Brian finally placed an arm on your shoulder, guiding you to the side.

“I- I don’t have a girlfriend,” he repeated, looking at his feet.

“Oh,” was all you said. All the pent-up emotion and anger you had dissipated. The ever-present squeezing of your head that had grown over the past few days started to loosen.

“I actually… um…” he cleared his throat. “I was wonder… uh”

“Yes?” you pressed, tapping your foot.

“Iwaswonderingifyoumightwanttogooutwithme,” he rushed. It was so quick you almost didn’t understand him. But when you finally processed what had been said your eyes widened. You started shaking your head adamantly. Brian began to panic his eyes darting around fearfully. “I’m sorry that was out of place I shouldn’t have—”

“Brian you can’t like me. There’s nothing… there’s nothing… I’m nothing…” you were struggling to process this. All the feelings you harbored for Brian were reciprocated. All the scenarios you’d thought up, this had never been one. “I’m nothing.”

“Nothing?” he echoed, leaning back slightly.

“Yeah, I’m just the girl who sits across from you in the library,” you sputtered. “And you’re Brian. Brian with the frizzy hair that he tries, and fails, to straighten. Brian with the pretty Hazel eyes that look so bright on his pale skin. Brian who chews on his pencil. Brian who likes pretzels. Brian who doesn’t even know I exist outside of the library.” You took a step back and shook your head again. “I just don’t believe you.”

Brian took a step towards you again, his eyes considering your words. There it was again. The tension. The tension from the library the other night. And this time it was magnetic. Brian leaned down and you found yourself leaning towards him.

“May I kiss you?” he muttered, reaching up to brush back your hair, cupping your cheek in the process. You nodded, wanting nothing more. His lips were soft, like a pillow. He moved slowly against you, parting your lips with a nudge of his tongue. Your heart was imploding and there was nothing you could do but wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down closer to you. Finally, you broke apart, panting for breath as you try and grasp what just happened. Brian rested his head against your forehead, looking into your eyes so passionately. “You are so much more than the girl from the library.” He breathed out a laughed. “You’re so gorgeous, even on your busiest days you still look so beautiful. You’re so intelligent even though your think you aren’t. You’re kind to every person you meet, even if you just met them. I know you give pretzels to people you barely know because their stomach is making whale noises.” You giggled, your face flushing. “Please, tell me you understand how much you’ve enchanted me.”

Because the entire time the Earth was watching the Moon, the Moon was watching the Earth.

“Yeah, I do,” you replied.

What happens when the Earth falls in love with the Moon?

“Then you’ll let me kiss you again?” He mused, smiling.

The Earth will continue to spin and the Moon continue to watch.

“Yes.” You smirked, pressing up to press your lips to his.

But the Moon will shine a little brighter, lighting up the Earth with every night they’re together.

#Queen #Queen Imagines #Queen x reader #Bohemian Rhapsody #Bohemian Rhapsody x reader #Bohemian Rhapsody imagines #Brian May #brian may x reader #brian may imagines

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spiritedquill · 5 years

Text

Sonny’s Home For Boys: Chapter 4

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 |

AO3 | FFnet

Summary: He wasn't staying. There was no way he could stay, even if Sonny treated him like one of his own. He had to get back to Sammy. His dad would come back and he'd go back to doing what he did best: hunting. Still... the mysterious blue-eyed boy named Castiel made it really hard to not want to stick around and never go anywhere else again.

Chapter 4:

“Bal, pleeeeease? I’ve never played, and isn’t it like a rite of passage or something?”

“I mean, sure, but usually you need more than two people to play,” Balthazar said, touching Cas’s shoulder and laughing nervously. “Besides, you’re way too drunk.”

“Yeah, but I need practice!” Cas insisted. “Meg asked me out, remember? And I said yes! What if she wants to kiss me and I don’t know how?”

Balthazar really didn’t know how to answer that. Of course Cas needed practice, he was fourteen. He’d never been on a date before, let alone kissed anyone. And if he was being honest, the thought of Cas kissing Meg made Balthazar kinda queasy. He really didn’t want to think about why that was.

“Fine,” he sighed. “We can play spin the bottle… with two people. What the hell?”

Cas laughed happily and put his hands on Balthazar’s legs, using them as leverage to push himself to his feet. “Now we just need a bottle.”

Balthazar grinned at the determined look on Castiel’s face. “Love, there’s a bottle right next to you. The one you just finished drinking out of.”

“Oh.” Cas plopped back down on the carpet and situated himself across from Balthazar, grabbing the bottle and setting it between the two of them. “Alright, so I just spin it right? And then I kiss… whoever it lands on?”

Balthazar laughed. “Yes, that’s generally how the game is played.” He couldn’t help but grin at how adorable Cas was. “Well go on now.”

Cas nodded and flicked the bottle, jumping when it spun off to the side a few feet. “Oops.”

Balthazar glanced over at it with a smirk. “I mean, I suppose it’s pointed at me. Wouldn’t you say so?”

Cas grinned and nodded. “I mean there’s no one else it could be pointing to.”

“My point exactly.”

Balthazar swallowed thickly. He could only stall for so long. And why was he stalling anyways? Cas was his best friend. It wasn’t weird. Why would it be?

“So…” Cas laughed breathlessly, sitting cross-legged with his hands clasped in his lap. “How do we do this?”

Balthazar inched closer until their knees touched. His heart was pounding in his chest. “Just, um… here, put your hand on my shoulder or something and, uh…” Balthazar trailed off, looking at Cas. His heart caught in his throat at the way Cas was staring at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Like this…” Balthazar closed his eyes and leaned in, touching his lips to Cas’s ever so lightly. He slotted his bottom lip between Castiel’s slightly parted lips and just… stayed there. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

Cas hummed softly and leaned forward a fraction of an inch. It took everything Balthazar had not to grab him and kiss him and never ever stop.

He stayed there, eyes closed tight, for a few more seconds before slowly pulling away. Hesitantly opening his eyes, he saw Cas frozen in time for a moment with his eyes closed and lips parted. Then his eyes blinked open slowly and he smiled at Balthazar.

“Well,” he said, giggling softly. “I guess now I know what all the fuss is about.”

Balthazar laughed, trying to hide how much doing so pained him. “Happy to be of service.” Cas didn’t say anything to that and Balthazar had to look away, licking his lips. “Well, uh… You know… I just wanted to make sure your first kiss was with someone who really loves you.”

“Balth?” Charlie said, snapping him out of his thoughts as they walked to the lunchroom together. “Hey, are you alright?”

“Oh, uh… yeah, I’m fine,” he said, blinking hard a few times. “Just daydreaming, I guess.”

Cas gave him a worried look, but he could tell Balthazar didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t push. Charlie did the same, reluctantly.

“Hey Cas,” Charlie said, changing the subject. “Are you going out for the wrestling team again this year? You’re the best guy we’ve got.”

Cas laughed. “I don’t know about best, but yes I’m planning on it. It was a lot of fun last year. And it’ll be even more fun now that Gordon was kicked off the team.”

“After the way that son of a bitch choked you out last season, it’s a miracle he wasn’t expelled,” Balthazar chimed in, shifting uncomfortably. He was trying not to let his temper flare again. Thankfully Gordon wasn’t in the lunch room today, he noticed as they found a table and sat down.

“I still won that match, for the record,” Cas said with a grin.

“See? The best,” Charlie said, pointing at him with a smirk.

Cas laughed, but trailed off as his attention was drawn to the cafeteria entrance. Dean walked in, looking uncomfortable even as he made his way to the table where Benny and the others were sitting. The stares from the other students hadn’t quite died down yet.

Cas watched him, barely even realizing he was staring, and he couldn’t help but feel some sense of guilt. Sure, they had been talking a little bit, but only in class. At Sonny’s Cas still found it difficult to even look at him. It was one thing to talk to Dean in a classroom setting where they had to stay mostly focused on their assignments. But at home… Cas was afraid of what might happen if he let himself cross that line.

At least Dean wasn’t completely alone, Cas reasoned. But he knew that didn’t change the way he felt every time Dean tried to talk to him at Sonny’s and Cas shot him down.

Dean had forgotten the biggest reason he hated school. He was always the new kid, always the mysterious weirdo that came and left in a year or less. Even though he’d been there for almost a week and he had actually made a few friends, people still stared at him.

As he walked into the cafeteria after having grabbed a tray of food, he could feel everyone staring at him. Even Cas was staring, he noticed, and Dean couldn’t meet his eyes. He’d thought they had made progress in chemistry class, but Cas barely spoke a word to him once school was out.

“Hey, newbie!” Benny called, and Dean rolled his eyes. He still didn’t like that nickname, but he knew Benny didn’t mean any harm. And it was nice to have some boys his age who liked having him around.

He walked over to where Benny was sitting with Ash and Chuck. “Hey, Dean!” Chuck greeted him enthusiastically. “Howdy, boys,” Dean said, sitting down with a chuckle. As odd of a group as they were, Dean liked them. They didn’t treat him like he had a third eye or anything.

“So, today’s guesses on what kind of meat this is,” Ash said, making a face at his tray and poking the food with his fork. “I’m pretty sure mine is some guy’s foot.”

“Mm, feet meet,” Chuck chimed in, reaching for Ash’s tray. “Gimme!”

“Hey, that’s my foot!” Ash complained, swatting his hand away, and Chuck burst out into giggles. “No touchy!”

“Mine looks like a monkey’s ass,” Benny said, staring at his food and scrunching up his nose.

The four of them all busted out laughing then. As Dean’s side ached with laughter, he couldn’t help but think that he hadn’t laughed this hard since he was four years old.

The boys picked at their food for a few minutes, then Chuck spoke up. “Hey Dean, what’s up with you and Cas?”

“Huh?” Dean’s eyes widened in surprise. “Uh, nothing, why?”

“Bullshit,” Ash scoffed. “You two have been making googly eyes at each other in chemistry this whole week.”

“How did you--”

“I keep telling you guys I’m no idiot,” Ash shrugged. “Besides, it’s plain as day.”

“I’m not--” Dean frowned, shaking his head. “No one’s making googly eyes. We’re just… friends. I guess. I don’t really know what we are, to tell ya the truth. Some days he’ll talk to me and everything’s a-okay and then he just goes dead silent on me. I don’t get it.”

“Cas has been through a lot,” Benny told him quietly, and Dean didn’t think he’d seen Benny’s expression so serious in the two weeks he’d been there.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone keeps saying,” Dean said, frowning. “I still don’t know what that means.”

“Well, he’s not at Sonny’s for the same reasons we all ended up here,” Chuck told him. “Most of us, our parents are either dead or never in the picture in the first place. But Cas, he… he basically got disowned.”

“Disowned?” Dean repeated, shocked. He suddenly felt a rush of sympathy and comradery towards Castiel. He was abandoned just like me… “For… for what?”

“Lots of reasons,” Benny said vaguely. “There’s all these rumors but one thing I know is he got in some trouble with the cops and his dad told him not to come home.”

Dean was about to ask for more details when the bell rang. Dammit. Every new thing he learned about Cas just made him want to know more about the boy. Which would be a hell of a lot easier if Cas would actually talk to him about more than their lab assignment. He still didn’t understand why Cas acted completely normal in class and then totally ignored him when they were at home.

He wished he could figure out why Cas was so afraid to really be his friend.

“Dad, I’m going to Balthazar’s to study,” Cas said, already opening the front door.

“Hold on,” Zachariah said, looking up at Cas through his glasses. He was sitting in his chair reading, and he rarely paid attention to much else when was reading. That’s how Cas knew it wasn’t the good kind of ‘hold on.’

“Yes, father?” he responded weakly, closing the door and standing anxiously at the edge of the tile entryway.

“You’re spending more and more time at this boy’s house,” his father said slowly. “I’m not sure I like what he’s putting in your head.”

Cas swallowed hard. “It’s just biology, father,” he said softly.

“Don’t you talk smart with me, Castiel!” Zachariah snapped, his voice only raising for the first and last word he spoke. That was more terrifying than yelling to Cas. “You know damn well what I mean. Giving you ideas of individuality and that other nonsense people are spouting these days.”

He said “individuality” with such distaste that Cas felt nauseous. He knew that was code for “gay.”

“Dad, he’s just my friend--”

“I think you should study with that nice girl next door,” his father continued. “She comes from a good family, nice folks. You might like her if you’d give it a try.”

Cas looked down, ashamed. “Yes, father.”

At least he could still see Balthazar at school…

Cas was walking home from Charlie’s house after they finished studying for the day, and he couldn’t stop thinking about his father. Despite himself, he actually missed him. He missed having a family.

His father was a cruel man, and horribly old fashioned (i.e. homophobic). From his friendship with Balthazar, Cas had learned that being gay wasn’t really a bad thing. That it didn’t make someone wrong or unlovable like his father had always taught him. He knew that. He knew that the feelings he had were normal and that he wasn’t a bad person, but when you’re taught to believe a certain thing for your entire life, it’s almost impossible to ever abandon that idea completely.

So it didn’t matter that he wanted to be close to Dean, or that Dean was trying so hard to be his friend. It didn’t matter that Cas couldn’t help but smile every time Dean cracked a dumb joke or even spoke Cas’s name. And it most definitely didn’t matter that Cas’s heart leaped every time their hands brushed during a lab assignment. None of that could matter to Cas if he ever wanted to see his family again.

Deep down, he knew it was a foolish hope, going home. His father would never allow it. But he just kept hoping that if he tried hard enough, that part of him would go away and his father would love him again. Like he loved Michael, and like he loved Anna.

Cas made it back to Sonny’s and went straight upstairs to his bed. He’d eaten at Charlie’s and he wasn’t in the mood for social interaction.

Cas opened the bedroom door and startled when he found that the room wasn’t empty. Dean was there, lying on his bed and twirling his pocket knife around his fingers, staring at it.

He glanced up when he heard the door open, and he stopped twirling when he saw Cas standing there. He sat up. “Hey.”

“Hi, Dean,” Cas murmured, standing still in the doorway.

“I won’t bite,” Dean told him after a moment, nodding to Cas’s bed. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

Cas saw the hurt in his eyes even as he spoke the words. The guilt twisted in Cas’s stomach. Without really meaning to, he took a few steps closer to Dean. He didn’t speak as he passed the boy and sat down on his own bed. Dean sighed, sitting with his back facing Cas now, and went back to twirling his knife.

“That’s a nice knife,” Cas commented despite his brain telling him to just shut up and go to sleep. “Is that real silver?”

Dean paused his ministrations and took a moment to study the inscription on the blade. “Yeah, pure silver.”

“Trying to skin a werewolf or something?” Cas joked, laughing lightly.

Dean almost choked. “W-What?”

Cas frowned. “The, uh… the stories. Werewolves, pure silver stake to the heart. Ya know all those legends.”

“Uh, yeah,” Dean choked out. “Legends. ‘Course. Uh, no, it was a gift from my uncle. Said it’s good luck or something.”

Cas nodded even though Dean couldn’t see him. “It’s nice,” he said again.

“Thanks.”

Cas watched as Dean went back to twirling the knife. He couldn’t help but be distracted by the nimble way his fingers twisted around the blade and hilt. He remembered the way those fingers felt against his skin when he was patching him up that first day…

No. Cas stopped that thought in its tracks. But it was difficult to focus on anything but Dean…

“Take a picture,” Dean grumbled, clasping his fist around the knife and setting it roughly on his nightstand. He didn’t have to look to know Cas was staring at him. “It’ll last longer.”

Cas startled a bit and shook his head. “I-- sorry.”

Dean huffed out a sigh and laid down on his back. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “Don’t pretend we’re friends, either. I can take a hint.”

Cas wanted to scream that no, no that wasn’t it, not at all. He wanted to grab Dean’s hand and tell him everything, the reason why he couldn’t make himself talk to Dean like a normal human being. The reason why he had to push him away. He wished he could… but instead he just sighed softly and laid down on his side with his back to Dean. He figured this was easier. Not exactly a clean break, but as close as he could manage.

Dean had hoped that Cas would say something like the last time. In chemistry class, when Dean had pulled away, Cas had pulled him back in, made him feel like he wasn’t crazy for thinking they could be friends. But this time… he gave up. Didn’t say a word. Yeah, Dean could take a hint. But he would have to be a goddamn mind-reader to figure out what the hell Cas wanted from him.

After that night, Dean honestly regretted saying anything at all. At least when he muddled through Cas ignoring him at Sonny’s, he knew he’d still get to talk to Cas in chem class. But when he showed up to class, Cas didn’t even say hello. Great, now Cas was back to not talking to him at all.

Fine, Dean figured. He’d told Cas to tell him to go if he wanted him gone, and in not quite so many words, he’d done just that. Well at least now Dean knew where he stood. There was no point in sugar coating it. He still didn’t understand it, but he didn’t need to keep holding out hope.

“Daddy, daddy!”

“What is it, Castiel? I’m very busy.”

“But daddy, look! I drew a picture!” Castiel held up a crayon drawing he’d done in class. His 1st grade teacher gave them daily words to draw, and today’s word was ‘friend.’ “I made a new friend and Miss Claire said it’s okay to hold hands with friends. Even the boy ones!”

Zachariah looked up when he heard that, and it was almost as if there were actual flames in his eyes. “Castiel, that is disgusting,” he said firmly. He grabbed the drawing, crumpled it, and threw it in the trash. “I will not have my son holding hands with boys and becoming some kind of homo.”

Cas felt tears well up in his eyes and he sniffled. “Daddy, what--”

“Go to your room, Castiel, I have work to do.”

Tears spilled onto his cheeks and he ran upstairs to his bedroom, closing the door and crawling onto his bed. He muffled his sobs in a pillow, half-aware of his older brother wrapping his arms around him.

“Gabe, w-what’s a homo?” Cas gasped out in between sobs. “Daddy said he doesn’t want me to be one.”

Gabriel rubbed his brother’s back and held him close. He didn’t know what to say. “It’s alright, Cassie… Don’t worry about that, it’s alright…”

Cas turned and cried into Gabriel’s shoulder, sniffling and coughing as his brother held him tight. Right then and there, without even knowing what the word meant, Cas promised himself he would never be a homo. He never wanted his dad to look at him like that ever again.

Cas woke up with sweat on the back of his neck and tears on his face. He gasped softly and sat up a bit, sniffling as he looked around the room. He was at Sonny’s, not at his house. His dad wasn’t here. He was safe.

“Cas?”

Castiel startled and looked over at the source of the voice: Dean.

“I-It’s okay, Dean,” Cas said shakily. “Go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you.”

Dean sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to get a good look at Cas in the darkness. “Are you crying?”

“N-No,” Cas said, and he knew it wasn’t convincing. He sniffled and wrapped his arms around his knees. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not,” Dean said in a soft tone, and Cas’s heart ached. He watched as Dean stood up and crossed the distance between their beds. He took a seat on the edge of Cas’s mattress and Cas could just barely see his face with the moonlight shining in through the window. “C’mere,” Dean said, holding his hand out. Cas looked at it hesitantly. “My brother used to have nightmares. I held him until he could fall asleep again. Can I...?”

The ache in Cas’s chest grew more insistent and Cas drew in a shaky breath, reaching out to take Dean’s hand. With Cas’s permission, Dean scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Cas, holding the boy to his chest. He started singing softly, something his mother used to sing to him. He didn’t remember the words, but the melody still played through his head clear as if his mother was singing it herself.

Cas felt himself relaxing in Dean’s hold, his breathing slowly evening out. Dean smiled softly and rubbed his back. He stayed there until he was sure Cas was sound asleep, then he gently laid the boy back down on his pillow. “Goodnight, Cas,” he whispered, covering him with the blanket before crawling back into his own bed.

Cas hadn’t slept so peacefully in years.

Cas had to leave the house before Dean had the chance to get out of bed just to keep himself from giving in and talking to Dean. If he was being honest with himself, he knew it was only a matter of time before he couldn’t keep up the act anymore, and last night had only made him more certain of that. There was something about the way Dean held him and comforted him that made Cas want to stay in his embrace for the rest of eternity. And maybe Dean would agree to hold him again if only Cas could let himself accept it…

Cas’s mind wandered without his permission, remembering over and over the few moments when Dean held him close and he didn’t even care what his dad said because Dean’s embrace just felt right. Cas was far too tired to keep the thoughts at bay, and he knew it was a bad idea but he let the thoughts come and fill his mind with Dean.

He was still lost in thought by the time he got to his first class. The teacher was the only one in the room but she didn’t mind Cas taking his seat early. He used to do it all the time when he didn’t want to be at home. He’d known Miss Larsen since he had her for math in 8th grade, and she was one of the few people who knew about his situation at home.

Cas took his seat in the front of the room and pulled out his notebook, a few pens, and a pencil. Still allowing his thoughts to run free, he began sketching in the back of his notebook.

“What’s that, Cassie?”

He startled when Charlie sat down next to him. He looked up and saw her eyes widen a little in realization as she looked at his notebook. Cas was a very detailed artist and there was no mistaking those eyes.

“You’re drawing Dean,” she said softly, and Cas quickly closed the notebook. “Cassie, honey, why won’t you just talk to him?”

“I want to…” Cas admitted, not meeting her eyes. “Last night, he… I had a nightmare and… He hugged me and sang to me until I fell asleep.”

“Awww,” Charlie cooed, punching his shoulder lightly. “I knew he liked you.”

Cas choked out a laugh. “Are you serious? He doesn’t like me, he likes Robin.”

Charlie shrugged. “He’s just a flirt. But he’s different with you, I can tell.”

“It isn’t like that,” Cas shook his head.

“Of course it is.” Charlie rolled her eyes and pushed his chin up to make him look at her. “Cas, what’s going on? This is about more than your dad.”

Cas sighed. She was right, of course she was. But if it wasn’t about his dad, Cas didn’t really know what it was about. Dean was just… different.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Charlie said after a moment. “But I think you owe it to yourself to figure out the real reason it’s so hard for you to talk to Dean. It’s not really fair to him, either.”

Cas nodded. “I know.”

He went quiet, and Charlie gave him his space as he continued sketching. Cas wanted to take her advice, to let Dean in and see if he felt the same way Cas did. Sometimes he thought he did, but he felt crazy for even thinking it.

Besides, Cas didn’t know the first thing about being in love. The whole idea was terrifying, especially with Dean. And Charlie was right, it wasn’t because of his dad or religion or guilt or anything like that. Cas had never felt like this about anyone before, and something about Dean made him feel like he could lose him at any second. And if he could lose him, then it was far too risky to love him. It didn’t even matter if Dean had any kind of feelings for him, it was just too big a risk. Cas wasn’t ready to take that on.

What he couldn’t admit was that his feelings for Dean were already out of his control. He was already terrified to lose him… so why did he keep pushing Dean away?

Dean had honestly hoped that last night would’ve changed things, but when he woke up and Cas was already gone he knew it hadn’t. He was still glad he was able to help Cas when he was upset, though, even if Cas was still avoiding him.

He wondered if this was how normal teenagers felt. He didn’t think this was normal. Benny was always staring at cheerleaders, and Dean wondered if that’s what he was supposed to be doing too. He just wanted to be a normal teenage boy, dammit.

He was really trying. He was going to school, doing his homework, flirting with a pretty girl who he was pretty sure was flirting back. How much more normal could he get? Then again, Dean didn’t really know the first thing about normal. His only idea of normal was vengeful spirits and werewolves and crappy motel rooms.

Dean walked to school by himself, not really in the mood for being social. He did brighten a little when he met up with Robin at the front doors.

“Morning, Dean,” she said with a smile. “Walk ya to class?”

“Sure thing,” Dean told her, smiling back. “There are definitely worse ways to spend my morning than walking to class with a pretty lady like yourself.”

Robin rolled her eyes, her cheeks flushing. “Flattered,” she shot back. “But don’t think too much of it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Dean offered a charming smile and Robin laughed and shook her head.

They walked into class and Dean faltered in his steps as soon as he saw Cas. He tried to play it off and continue to his seat but he knew Cas had seen him. He saw Cas stare at him the second he walked in the door. Dean wished he could figure out what the hell he was thinking when he stared at him like that.

Cas didn’t look at him at all for the rest of class, just scribbling in his notebook. Dean couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing. He certainly wasn’t taking notes. He seemed distracted.

Dean was distracted, too. Several times he considered passing Cas a note, but he felt silly even thinking about it. Besides, he didn’t really want Cas’s friends to read what he had to say.

He tried to focus on class. He was never great at math but he honestly wasn’t sure if this trigonometry stuff was actually math. There were way too many letters.

He glanced down when he heard a light clattering on the floor. He saw a pencil rolling towards him and he glanced back to see Robin smiling at him. He smiled too at the throwback to the first day of class, reaching down to pick up her pencil.

“I think you dropped this,” he whispered. Robin bit her lip and took the pencil from him, trading it for a folded up piece of paper. Dean looked at and then looked at her like ‘seriously?’

Robin rolled her eyes and gestured for him to open it. He did.

Want some company at lunch? One can only take so much of those three bozos you’ve been sitting with.

Dean bit back a laugh and wrote his response underneath Robin’s neat scrawl, handing it back to her.

Dear god yes.

Robin giggled and Dean looked at her with a smile. He watched the way she tucked her hair behind her ears. It was kind of adorable.

Almost as adorable as way Cas’s forehead scrunched up in chem lab when he was focusing really hard on something…

Dean shook his head, pulling his focus back to Robin. Cas didn’t want him around. Robin did. It was that simple.

When lunchtime came around, Dean met up with Robin outside the cafeteria.

“‘Bout time you had lunch with me after all that flirting,” she teased, winking and nudging his shoulder with hers.

“I would’ve asked sooner if I thought you’d say yes,” Dean said honestly as they grabbed their trays of food.

“Before today, I probably wouldn’t have,” Robin admitted with a shrug.

“Why’s that?” Dean asked.

Robin laughed shyly and pushed her hair back. “Well, I’m sure you’ve noticed or the boys told you, but I’ve kinda had this crush on Cas since like forever.”

“I might’ve heard that somewhere,” Dean nodded, looking away and huffing out half of a laugh. “So what made you change your mind about me?”

Robin bit her lip and didn’t say anything for a while. Then, “Here, I wanna show you something.”

Dean’s face twisted up in confusion but he followed her, out of the cafeteria, down the hall, and outside. She led him to an old metal bench, tucked away underneath the bleachers at the football stadium. “What’s this?”

“Just someplace I like to go to eat in peace,” Robin said, smiling tentatively. Dean could tell this wasn’t somewhere she took just anyone for lunch. “Dean, I… To tell you the truth, I do like you. I have since you first came to Sonny’s. And Cas… well, that’s never gonna happen. For a lot of reasons, but it’s complicated.”

“Yeah, that seems to be his deal,” Dean said, frowning. “Complicated.” He paused, processing what she’d said and smiling. “So… You said you… well, I mean, I like you too.”

Robin’s smile stretched wider across her face, but it soon fell as she spoke again. “So, you and Cas, that’s not…?” she asked, almost wishing she hadn’t when Dean’s smile fell too.

“That’s… Well, honestly I don’t really know. I mean I thought we were friends or something but he keeps getting all weird around me and now he’s not talking to me.” Dean looked at Robin and he felt guilt wash over him, though he wasn’t totally sure why. Her expression looked sad and understanding, though Dean didn’t really know what she was understanding.

Robin thought she had to be the unluckiest girl on earth. The only two guys she had ever wanted to have some sort of romantic relationship with, and they had the hots for each other. She could see it in Dean’s eyes when he talked about Cas. He was heartbroken that Cas was shutting him out, and he clearly had some kind of feelings for him. And she knew Cas liked Dean too, even if he had his reasons for keeping his distance.

Still, she reminded herself, Dean was here, talking to her, flirting with her, smiling at her. And Cas was pushing him away, hell he was pushing her away too. Maybe they could find something in each other in all this mess.

“It’s complicated,” Robin finally said, reaching out to touch Dean’s hand and then pulling back. Dean glanced down at the movement and inched his hand closer to her where it sat between them on the bench. She bit her lip and placed her hand over Dean’s. “Cas, he… well it’s a mess. It’s not really my place to tell.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. “I get it.” And Dean thought that was that, but Robin continued, speaking carefully.

“But he’s been through a lot,” she told him. “Sometimes he forgets that not everyone sees the worst in him and he pushes people away. He forgets that we’re not all judgmental jerks.”

“He doesn’t seem to be pushing those two away,” Dean said, gesturing in the general direction of the cafeteria. Robin knew who he meant.

“Charlie and Balthazar… they’re different,” Robin sighed. “Balthazar and Cas, they’ve known each other since they were basically babies. And Charlie came into it a little later but they’re inseparable, always have been. Nothing comes between them that I’ve ever seen.” She paused, and Dean could tell she longed to have that sort of bond with Cas too. She wanted more than that, but still. “But I don’t think it’s anything you did wrong, necessarily,” she assured Dean, rubbing her thumb over his wrist. “It’s just Cas.”

Honestly that did make Dean feel a little better, but not much. In that moment, though, he decided he was done talking about Cas. If there was no hope anyways, he wanted to focus on what he could see. And that was Robin, right here in front of him.

“Well, hey, look,” Dean said, turning his hand to wrap his fingers around Robin’s. “You’ve been nothing but friendly to me since I got here, so that’s something. I must have done something right to deserve that.”

Robin smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. Adorable. “You could say that,” she laughed. “You’re persistent, I’ll give you that.”

“Well it’s a two way street we’ve got goin’ here,” Dean laughed softly. “The flirting and all… Don’t tell me I’m just seein’ things that ain’t there.”

“You’re not,” she whispered, catching her bottom lip between her teeth and squeezing his hand. She smiled at him and Dean glanced down at her lips. God it was hard to resist. “Well?”

“Huh?” Dean said intelligently, gaping at her for a moment. “What’d I do?”

Robin giggled. “Well, I was sort of hoping you would kiss me sometime before next year, Romeo.”

Dean’s face flushed and he smiled nervously. “Right,” he breathed out. “‘Course. I can do that.” He may have played the cocky, confident, experienced playboy, but truthfully he wasn’t really sure what he was doing when it came to the real deal.

Dean leaned forward, moving his hand to her shoulder and holding it so gently he was barely making contact. He saw Robin close her eyes, waiting, and he swallowed hard and went for it. He pressed his lips to hers and inhaled through his nose. Damn, it felt like flying. She tasted like cinnamon and smelled like apples.

Before he could lose his mind, Dean slowly pulled away, not opening his eyes for a few seconds. He felt Robin’s breath against his lips and he blinked his eyes open, watching as she did the same.

“That was… nice,” he said with a breath laugh. Dammit, Dean. Nice? “I mean, um…”

She smiled at him. “Yeah. It was.”

They both laughed softly, relieved to have the tension broken.

They didn’t talk much through the rest of lunch, eating their food and sneaking glances at each other. For the first time since Dean had arrived at Sonny’s, he wasn’t hyper focused on Cas. He felt normal and actually something resembling happy for the first time in as long as he could remember. He was grateful to Robin for that.

Though, despite how fantastic Robin was at distracting him from his troubles, deep down he knew that’s all it was. A distraction. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Robin, but it was just another one of his silly crushes. He’d get over it and then he’d be alone again. But Cas…

Cas was different, somehow. Dean didn’t understand why, but he couldn’t deny it was true. Dean wished it wasn’t, but he couldn’t escape it. He felt drawn to Cas in a way he’d never experienced before. It was terrifying and exhilarating and all brand new. He really didn’t know what to make of it. It wasn’t like he was in love with Cas or anything, he just adored the way he smiled, and the way he talked, and the way his hair never seemed to go in the direction he meant it to. So what if he wanted to pull Cas close and hold him and kiss him and keep him safe until he breathed his last breath? It didn’t mean he liked him like that. He liked girls, and he couldn’t just suddenly like guys. That didn’t make any sense.

Still, he knew Cas was special. And he knew that it was extremely important that he needed to get Cas to talk to him. And with wrestling try-outs coming up, he knew exactly how he was going to do that.

@gggghik @brangaene @sold-my-soul-for-spn

#destiel #destiel fic #destiel rp #dean winchester #castiel novak #sonny's home for boys

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twi-sight2020 · 5 years

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Genesis

That’s how the book begins, with a quote from the Bible. And, I get it, it ties in with the forbidden fruit theme, a classic, if not a a bit overused, trope. Not a whole lot to unpack here, even with my Religion minor. And so we move forward to the preface. This I remember pretty damn well, Our narrator-Bella- though not yet named, muses on death and sacrifice. The movies do a good job incorporating it in BUT, they leave out my favorite line. ‘When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.” Just...damn. There are a lot of times when this book falls into the flowery language, no teen talks like this, trap, but this line...it makes the rest of it worth it...mostly. But chapter one, that’s when we really get to know Bella, and I develop a love hate relationship with her. I know we’re supposed to see her as selfless with her giving up her “Life in the sun” in favor of moving to Forks, just so her mother can be happy, but I can’t help but feel Bella relishes in being a martyr. Then again, maybe it’s just me being too far removed from being a teenager? I remember how everything that went wrong seemed like the end of the world back then. And moving is a challenge even when you’re an adult. Of course, in chapter one, we don’t don’t have the full story of why Bella moved, only that her mom tells her she “doesn’t have to “ Bella “Lies” and says “She wants to.” And she describes it as an “exile.” it almost leads one to believe that their is some dark secret behind this, that Bella is moving because of something she did that is compelling her to move. But alas...no.... And then, then, she complains about it being too green. which, as an allergy sufferer, I do to, but Bella ....not exactly sure what her issue is other than it being different from home. But, she’s been here before so...*shrug* again, teenagers. However, before everyone begins to think all I’m going to do is harp on Bella, I do suddenly gain a moment of respect for her. She loves her big ass truck. The thing most teenage girls would bitch and moan about, she embraces. And this, well this strikes a cord with me. When i was a kid , my great -grandfather used to drive me around in this HUGE diesel running monstrosity, and it remained basically my favorite thing for years. suddenly, I’m feeling a kinship with Bella I haven’t felt in a long while. Also, her appreciation of a non-hovering parent does not go unnoticed. I empathize, Bella, really I do. If only because I have a few relatives that are quite....overbearing? And I’m definitely a type that likes to be left alone to read or write, and sometimes wish I’d grown up around people that weren’t so, verbose. Charlie=best parent Bella being scared of Fork’s high school is amusing to me. I grew up in a small town, with a School that sounds suspiciously how the school is described. Of course, i live on the otherside of the country buuuuuut....it does rain a lot here...is incredibly green and mountainous.....yea I get it Bella. You can hate it all you want because i grew up in one of these places and...I couldn’t stand it either. Of course, then she goes back into teenage “Not like other girls” and “I don’t fit in” mode and I’m back to doing a deep sigh for a hot minute. I just have to keep reminding myself that ,yes, even I used to sit and stare in a mirror and feel like I was the only person in the universe who saw the world the way that I did. Melodramatic? Yes. Annoying? of course. But, there is something to be said about an author getting pretty into the mind of a teenager, flaws and all. Her first day of school starts out pretty slow, not alot to say other than we realize that Bella has already read everything in the English curriculum and is not above getting her old essay to reuse. You know what, good on her! I like these small tidbits we get of personality that the movies don’t give us. Like, Bella is Smart and yes, a bit shrewd. We get more of this in a few moments when Eric pulls his “You don’t look very tan and she retorts with “My mother is part albino” and notes that he doesn’t understand this and she;s worried that after a few months in town she’ll forget sarcasm. book Bella has a snarky side that the movies seem to have forgotten, and i had as well. Also, Bella hates trig,and that makes her basically me at all forms of math, rip me. And then, we get it, Lunch, The Cullen’s, EDWARD. I’m not gonna go all crazy on the descriptions and how they differ from the films, BUT....I do have a few notes. -Jasper is described as taller but leaner than Emmett. Taller -Alice is supposed to be thin in the extreme - and, despite how beautiful they are, the Cullen’s are supposed to have shadows under their eyes. described as purplish and bruise like. That’s the thing the movies never quite conveyed. Yes the family is beautiful, but they are beautiful corpses. Incredibly “chalky” pale, circles under the eyes that Bella compares to one recovering from a broken nose. and features that are perfect and angular. I’m not trying to be morbid, but they truly look like beautifully made up corpses, beautiful, yes, but unsettling, inhuman. perfect but....imperfect in their perfection. Small note that Jessica’s first really bitchy moment isn’t so much of just ‘Edward is too good for anyone here” thought she has that to, but implying that Mr. and Mrs. Cullen’s kindness in taking in kids is lessened because she “Can’t have kids.’ Again, while the movies made her seem simply shallow, this also conveys that she’s got a true mean streak. Then the biology class, Edward is ....weird. That’s really the only was to describe it. And, though we know what his secret and problem is now, I can see how Bella would be baffled and bit concerned. i do love this contrast with Mike and “He obviously didn’t think I smelled bad.” I admit this got a laugh from me. I also had forgotten that Mile had also moved from out of state, and that the two bonded. And that he noticed how odd Eddie boy was acting. Yea, Subtly is not Edward’s game. Personally, if I have been Edward, i would have immediately faked sick and left the room, might have made less of a stir then glaring daggers at the girl, but...what do I know? Bella hates gym, another thing we have in common! Edward trying to change classes, sigh, oh boy Edward, if Forks school as anything like mine, you have the first like...four days of the semester to change. After that? Tough luck no matter how charming or handsome you are. Maybe , just maybe, you should have looked into homeschooling. I wasn’t particularly sure why Bella was fighting tears all the way home, was it because of Edward? Or just the over emotions of moving and starting a new school? Sidenote: Did anyone else find it weird that she literally started school the next DAY after moving? Like this flight and settling in and then BAM school? Just saying, all those changes at once are rough on a well adjusted adult, much less a teenager. And that’s it, Intro and first chapter. I was going to do more, but....this kinda turned out longer than I planned, tbh. And, since I’m on an all liquid diet for a medical procedure tomorrow, I’m more than a little tired. But, if I’m feeling better later I may try to get up chapter two.

#Twilight #Twilight reread #Edward Cullen #Bella Swan #stephanie meyer

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hymn2000 · 5 years

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Where The Darkness Ends - MCU AU fanfic - C4

Story summary: The concept of having a baby has been more of an idea for a long time now. Ideal candidates for a three-person baby, Loki and Tony have finally, after many Peter-based setbacks and challenges, got to the point of being tested. Now, they just have to wait for the results before they can move on to the next stage.

Previous Chapter(s): 1 2 3

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: family stuff, mental health stuff, hurt/comfort, hospital/medical stuff, fertility stuff, IVF, potentially some medical inaccuracies

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 4 - So Much To Lose

Peter was so mixed up and confused, and too blinded by tears to even try to comprehend where he was, let alone what was happening. What little he could see through his tears seemed so unfamiliar, unrecognisable even.

The car journey seemed to go on for hours, but realistically he supposed it couldn’t have been more than about twenty minutes. It felt like the car stopped with a jolt when Tony parked up. Peter looked at his father, a look which demanded answers. Tony smiled slightly, although it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I’ve just gotta get your case and stuff out of the boot, ok?”

His case? Peter scrambled out of the car, and sure enough, watched Tony taking his big suitcase and a couple of other bags out of the boot - and he started bawling. This was worse than he thought. He was being sent away, wasn’t he? Why though? Was Tony sick of him? And Loki? Had last nights news highlighted to them that they didn’t actually want him any more, if they couldn’t have their own biological child? Was that it? He didn’t know. All he knew for certain now was that he was blinded by tears once more, and he had no idea where he was.

“Alright kiddo, calm down” Tony said. “It’s ok”

“No it’s not!” Peter cried, clinging to him. “What’s going on?! Please, just tell me! I hate not knowing! I can’t stand it; please just tell me what’s happening!”

Tony sighed. His hands were full so he couldn’t hug him back, and he was almost grateful. He was trying so hard to stay strong that it hurt.

“Come on, kiddo”

“Dad, I’m scared! You can’t keep me in the dark about my own life!”

Tony adjusted his hold on all the bags so he had an arm free, which he put round Peter.

“Come on”

Peter stayed pressed against Tony’s side, hands over his face as they went inside. He felt so sick, even more so when they stepped into a lift. He clung to Tony, swallowing hard in case he really threw up. It was starting to feel like a very real possibility. He felt so, so ill. He felt so scared and sick and upset and hopeless. He didn’t know what was happening, and Tony didn’t seem to be in any rush to tell him what was going on.

Peter blinked hard, trying to clear his vision, but doing so only seemed to make things worse. Everything was blurry and fuzzy, like someone had put a dodgy filter on everything. He still hadn’t figured out what was going on, but he had a horrible feeling that he wasn’t going to be under his fathers arm for much longer - and that made him feel even worse.

Tony knocked on the door, which was opened promptly. He smiled as best he could.

“Thank you for this. It really means a lot” he said, his voice cracking. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I’m sorry”

“Don’t. Come on, you’d better come in”

Peter imagined he recognised that voice, but he was crying too hard to be sure. He heard the door close behind them.

“Honestly, this is really so good of you” Tony said, wiping tears from his face. “I didn’t know who else to call”

“I know. I can only imagine what you’re going through” the person put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Hello, little one”

Peter blinked very, very hard, just about managing to clear his vision, and looked up at the person. He let out a tiny gasp when he saw who it was.

“...Uncle Thor?”

“The one and only, kiddo”

Peter looked up at him, and then started crying all over again. He let Thor pull him close, and he clung to him, suddenly feeling safe now he was in the mans strong, familiar arms. He still didn’t really know what was happening, but Thor was always such a reassuring presence, and that’s exactly what he needed right now.

“Has Loki been in touch today?”

Thor nodded, rubbing Peter’s back firmly. “Yes, he rang me earlier. He didn’t really want to talk once I got him started though. He sounds absolutely devastated, and I’m not surprised. You sounded much the same on the phone earlier - and you look it, if you don’t mind me saying”

“I still can’t get my head around it” Tony said, wiping another stray tear from his cheek. “We were so ready to have this baby, and now...”

“It’s horrible, I know. You’re both such good parents, and it’s dreadfully unfair that you got the results you did”

Tony nodded. “I think we should talk a little bit”

“I think that’s wise” Thor said. “We should put those bags in the spare room first”

Tony nodded. “I’ll do it... Are you ok with the kid for now?”

Thor looked down at Peter, who was still clinging to Thor like a limpet, face hidden. Peter was still crying so hard that he couldn’t hear what was being said properly, and he still didn’t know exactly what was happening. Thor sighed. He supposed he’d realise and come to terms with it soon enough. He loosened his grip on Peter.

“Why don’t you go and settle yourself on the sofa while dad and I talk?” he said gently.

Peter nodded, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “I’m scared...”

“I know” Thor said softly, stroking the boys hair gently. “Go and get yourself settled, put the telly on or something. We’ll be with you in no more than five minutes, I promise”

Peter looked at Tony, who nodded at him. He swallowed hard and went off to the living room, shaking so much that he felt like he was going to fall over before he got there. He flopped down on the sofa and pulled a cushion close, resting his chin on it for a moment before burying his face in it. Things seemed to be getting worse by the second. Maybe it was the change of scene. Or maybe it was just everything sinking in.

Tony and Thor talked for a little bit, but kept to their promise of joining Peter less than five minutes later. They kept talking, knowing that Peter was in too much of a state to really be listening to anything they were saying. They talked at length, and eventually Peter calmed down and slunk onto Tony’s lap, spurning the cushion and burying himself in his chest instead. Tony cradled him close, stroking his hair and trying to soothe him.

“Should I fetch him something to eat?” Thor asked eventually.

“I don’t think it’s really worth trying” Tony sighed. “He hasn’t really eaten today; I don’t think he’s got an appetite. I don’t either, so I’m not surprised... Try in the morning, as best you can, but tonight...” Tony looked down at the boy clinging to his shirt. “I think he’s ready to call it a night”

Peter looked up, and Tony looked down at him.

“I think it’s bedtime, kiddo” he said. “Come on; I’ll take you”

Peter nodded, still feeling a bit too fuzzy to really understand what was going on.

Tony took Peter to the spare room. He’d always hated that room. No matter how much time passed, it still just reminded him of all those times he’d come to visit Loki before they’d lived together. He’d never liked seeing such a colourful and interesting person whiling away their days in a room so bland and impersonal and ordinary. The room still looked exactly the same as it had back then; white with light-coloured wooden furniture. It was boring, truth be told, and it felt almost sterile.

Tony was glad he’d packed Peter’s Baymax blanket. He lay it out on the bed. It helped, he thought. He turned back to Peter and tried to take the boys shirt off. Peter whined and tried to struggle away from him.

“Don’t be like that, kiddo” Tony sighed sadly. “I’m just trying to help you. Let me give you a hand”

Peter didn’t look happy about it, but he let Tony get him out of his clothes. He wouldn’t let him put his dressing gown on though, and he didn’t really want him to be putting him to bed, but he was too tired to protest too much. He simply whimpered softly, and his dad near enough ignored that. Tony guided him over to the bed and tucked him in. He set his toy rocket and his little Peter Rabbit toy beside him, close to the wall so they wouldn’t fall off the bed. He got Peter’s old snow white seal and tucked it under his arm, and then he tucked the quilt and blanket round him.

“There” he said gently. “That’s ok, isn’t it? You’ve got everything you need. You know where Thor is if you need him at all in the night. Ok?”

Peter just looked at him, his brow furrowed. Tony stroked his hair gently.

“Talk to me, kiddo”

“I don’t feel well” Peter said. “Everything’s all fuzzy and blurry. I feel kinda sick”

“Alright, kiddo. Look, there’s a bowl here, so if you need it, you know where it is. If not... Well, hopefully you won’t need it at all, but you know, just in case...”

Peter closed his eyes. He was too tired to try to figure everything out. This day felt like it had lasted a week already. Crying in biology that morning already felt like a lifetime ago, and getting up that morning felt like a distant memory.

He fell asleep feeling like the room was spinning around him.

Tony knelt by the bed and kissed the bridge of his nose.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart” he said quietly. “I’m so sorry. I love you, you know that. I love you so much... I’m sorry”

Tony tried to handover to Thor, with some difficulty. Like Peter, he was feeling fuzzy and mixed up and confused too.

“I think he’s got everything he needs, but if you find he needs anything, just text me or ring me and I’ll bring it over. But I think he’s got everything...”

“I saw you brought his school stuff with him”

“Yeah... Well, when I picked him up, the school offered some compassionate leave type thing, and I thought it was a good idea. But then we talked more, and we decided he should try a few more days, and if he really can’t deal with it, then they’ll authorise the leave. Just... Well, you’ve taken him to school before; you know the routine. I looked at his diary; he doesn’t have any outstanding homework assignments, so you don’t need to worry about getting him to do any work just yet”

“I’ll make sure he gets to school on time. I’ll make sure they have my number too, in case anything happens” Thor said. “I’ve looked after him so many times before, but is there anything else you think I need to know?”

Tony thought for a moment. “He needs you to keep hugging him and stuff. He’s taken this news hard, too... I’m not convinced he’s safe at home right now, so I just need you to keep him safe until such a time as I’m certain it’s ok to bring him back. You can do that for me, right?”

Thor nodded. “Of course”

“You should read to him, too. I’ve packed some books in his bag. Loki always likes reading to him, and we saw this article recently, something about how scientists and people in child psychology recommend reading to teenagers. Good for their development and stuff, apparently. He likes it, too. So, yeah, just read to him, and keep him safe. Keep an eye on him. You know how to look after him, you know what he likes... I’ll come at see him every day, I promise. I just... I need him to be somewhere out of the way, somewhere where I know he’s definitely safe. I don’t think I’m in a position to look after him properly right now, not when I’m feeling like this”

“I understand your concerns, but I don’t think Loki’s going to pose a threat to Peter”

“I don’t know if I think it or not” Tony said. “But I’m not taking any chances. You didn’t see him swatting him away. You didn’t hear the sound... He hurt him... I need to go and try to work things out and be there for my husband. We need each other, especially now. I just need to be able to come to terms with all this without having to worry about Peter’s safety. You get that, right?”

Thor nodded, and hugged Tony close. “Take care of my brother. He’s going to need a lot of looking after.

Tony nodded. “We all are... I’m sorry, I’m really gonna have to go. I don’t think I can keep up this strong facade for much longer”

Tony thought he’d manage until he got home, but he didn’t. Half way there he was forced to pull over into an empty lay-by. He stared at his hands, gripping the steering wheel, and then his face crumpled and he started crying. He didn’t know what he was doing. The baby he’d been planning for was never going to get the chance to exist. And the child he actually did have wasn’t coming home with him. He was doing it for the boys own good, he knew that - but he missed him already. He wanted to hug him and stroke his hair and tell him everything was ok. But he couldn’t. He knew he could trust Thor with him. And he knew that Loki needed him more than Peter did. He’d put Peter somewhere safe, and now he had to put Loki first. He needed to look after his husband.

When Tony was holding Loki that evening, he was crying for the loss of both children. He felt so helpless and horrible. If this was how he felt, he could only imagine what Loki felt - after all, it was him who’d had the bad result.

“I’m so sorry!” Loki sobbed. “I’m so sorry! If it weren’t for me, we’d be having a baby..!”

“This isn’t your fault!” Tony said desperately. “It’s not your fault! It’s just a horrible twist of fate! I don’t blame you, I swear I don’t. I don’t blame anyone. It’s just another horrible thing we’re gonna have to find a way to get through”

Loki just cried more and held tighter to Tony. He couldn’t believe he was broken. He couldn’t believe something as simple as a ‘routine’ sperm test had completely destroyed his life. He’d wanted a baby for so long, longer even than Tony. He’d played about with the baby moodboard for years, and when they finally got to a point where they were getting to the go ahead, he’d started thinking about how to implement it properly. And then to be told that he wasn’t eligible for the three-person baby IVF, that he was completely infertile... He didn’t know how he was supposed to react, how he was supposed to come to terms with that. But he knew what it meant, and he knew how awful it was. He knew how it was not only tearing him apart, but his husband, and his son. His son...

“Where’s Peter? Tony, where’s Peter? I need my little boy. Please, I just need to hold him”

Tony looked at Happy, who was staying close by in case he was needed. Happy twisted one corner of his mouth, and nodded. Tony swallowed hard and moved back a little so he could look at Loki properly.

“He’s staying with your brother for a bit. Just while we get things sorted here”

Loki looked at him for a moment, searching his face, and then he collapsed all over again.

“You didn’t think to tell me?! You didn’t even let me say goodbye!”

Tony pulled him close, holding him desperately. “I’m so sorry! It just felt like the right thing to do. We can’t look after him properly like this, you know we can’t. I know you know that”

Loki knew he was right, but it didn’t help. He wanted his little boy, and he couldn’t have him. It felt like he’d lost him too. Part of his daily routine was knowing he could hug Peter and talk to him whenever he wanted, and now that wasn’t an option. He wanted to hold him and tell him he loved him, and Tony had taken that from him. He still clung to Tony, because he needed him, and he loved him, and he understood why he’d done it. But he was already so upset, and this had just made it even worse. He had no right to do this without consulting him.

But Loki couldn’t say any of this. He could only cry, until he eventually had to tear himself away from Tony and rush to the nearest bathroom to be sick.

Peter was so close to crying right from the moment he woke up the next morning. Thor dropped him off at school, which felt even worse than it had the day before. Peter hid behind the wall in the car park for a while, trying to work out if there was a way he could skip school without getting caught or getting into trouble. He couldn’t think of anything, so eventually he dragged himself up and went off to his form room.

As soon as he opened the door, all the thoughts and feeling from the previous day swarmed and resurfaced, and he collapsed into floods of tears. His form tutor wasn’t there yet, but most of the form were. He was crying so much that he couldn’t move. The bunnies went to him first, but then everyone else decided to get involved too, because a green slip and then this little breakdown were definite signs that something was dreadfully wrong. Being crowded was awful, and it made Peter feel even worse, because then he felt boxed in and trapped.

It was Nigel who put a stop to it. He marched over and pulled Peter close, and Peter automatically hugged him, burying his face in his chest.

“It’s ok, I’ve got you” Nigel said, and then addressed the rest of the room. “Piss off, you lot! He doesn’t need you gawking at him”

Nigel wasn’t the kind of boy many people were foolish or brave enough to mess with, so they all backed off, the bunnies included. Nigel took Peter out of the room and into the big storage cupboard with the broken lock across the hall. He hugged him tight, resting their heads together.

“I’ve got you” Nigel said. “It’s alright; no one else is gonna bother you. What’s going on with you?”

“I can’t do it anymore! I can’t do it, Nigel! I can’t do it! I just wanna go home! I can’t do this!”

Nigel paused in shock for a moment. He’d never heard Peter speak before, and he didn’t expect the first time to be with him near enough scream-crying into his chest in a school store cupboard.

Nigel swallowed and held Peter as tight as he dared. “We’ll get you home. You’ve gotta try and calm down a bit first. Do you need to sit down? I can feel your legs shaking”

Peter shook his head slightly. Nigel watched him for a moment.

“Look at me”

Peter forced himself to raise his head, and Nigel gave him a kiss on the mouth. Peter was shocked, especially with this being Nigel of all people, and he went quiet for a moment.

“You’ve gotta breath, you know. It’s kind of important to stay alive” he said, and kissed him hard on the cheek. “Better. I’ll take you to the office”

Nigel stayed with Peter until Thor arrived. He gave him another hug, and another kiss.

“See you in a few weeks”

Peter nodded. Nigel was probably right.

Thor cleared his throat when Peter rejoined him in the kitchen after getting changed out of his uniform.

“I think school is a no-go” he said. “We’ll have to work out a sort of routine here”

“When am I going home?”

“I don’t know. Not yet”

“Tonight?”

Thor looked at him. “How much did you take in last night?”

Peter shrugged. Tony sighed and lifted him into a seat at the breakfast bar. He put his hands on the boys shoulders. Peter quirked an eyebrow and looked up at him.

“Peter, your dad didn’t just drop you off for one night” Thor said. “He wants you to stay with me until him and daddy have sorted everything out at home. You know how difficult this situation is for both of them. Dad wants you to be here where you’ll be safe and properly looked after. Do you understand?”

Peter looked at him, trying to get all the pieces to fit together neatly in his head.

“He doesn’t want me anymore?”

“No, of course he still wants you; you’re his son. But he needs you to stay somewhere safe, just for a little while. He’s going to come and see you every day. He’ll be here around seven o’ clock tonight, he said. Quiet now, you don’t need to cry; it’s not really so bad. We get along, don’t we?”

“That’s not the point” Peter said, and he burst into tears. “I wanna go home! I want my dads”

“Come along, quiet now: this isn’t the time for drama”

“Yes it is! They’re my family; why can’t I be with them?!”

“Because your dad wants you to stay here, and you’re just a child, so you have to do as you’re told and let your parents do what they think is best for you”

“Well, I wanna go home!”

“Well that’s just tough, I’m afraid” Thor said firmly. “You’re staying here, and I’m going to look after you until your parents feel ready to take you back. And that’s final”

Peter didn’t know why he did it, but he stood up and hit Thor hard in the chest. Had he done that at home, there would have been serious trouble. But Thor didn’t react the way Tony and Loki would have done.

“Peter, no” Thor sighed. “Hitting out at me isn’t going to change anything”

Part of Peter wanted to burst into tears and run to his room and slam the door behind him. Another part of him wanted to shout and scream and kick off. Guess which part won.

Peter sat on a chair in the corner of the corridor outside Thor’s room, howling into a cushion. Thor had taken another hit and listened to Peter shouting, and then he’d hoicked him up and put him down on a chair and told him he needed to control himself and find another way to channel his feelings. And then he’d turned the chair round and pushed it into the corner and told Peter not to move until he was told to.

So that’s where Peter stayed, cross and upset and tired, trying to accept the horrible feeling of abandonment. How could Tony do this to him? He’d always said he was going to be there for him, but he’d just dumped him at uncle Thor’s. Peter checked his watch, and it was barely half past ten. The day already felt like it had gone on for weeks, and he couldn’t imagine it getting any better. He'd broken down and sobbed in his form room before, so he wasn’t too worried about the lasting effects of that. But he was a little worried about what had happened with Nigel. It was no secret that, while Nigel and Peter didn’t get along, Nigel would always stick up for him. But the fact that he’d hugged him and removed him from the situation was a step up from the usual verbal reassurances. Peter was glad that he’d done it, because it removed him from the crowds. But then when they’d been in the store room, Nigel had kissed him. It had only been a quick kiss, but it had been a proper kiss, not a chaste peck, and Peter wasn’t really sure why he had done it. Maybe it was just to shut him up, but he wasn’t 100% on that. But whether that was the reason or not, Peter rather thought that if he wasn’t in such a horrible situation already, it was the kind of thing he might not be able to get out of his mind for a while.

Loki spent most of the morning in bed, looking through the baby moodboard in a numb state. Tony was fast asleep at his side. He’d fallen asleep long before Loki, and he hadn’t woken up once. Loki wasn’t sure if he cared or not.

Loki grew restless as the morning turned to afternoon, and the afternoon turned to evening. He sat out on the balcony, smoking and drinking. Tony was at his side, drinking strong black coffee and staring into space.

“I think I’ll go to the hospital tomorrow”

“Oh Loki” Tony sighed. “I don’t really think there’s anything they can do for you”

“I meant to work” Loki said, putting his cigarette to his lips.

Tony looked at him. “...I don’t think that’s a good idea. Don’t you think it’s too soon? I haven’t even thought about work since... since we found out”

“I can’t sit here getting drunk for the rest of my life” Loki said. “I’m going mad as it is. I need to keep myself busy”

“Loki, we need to keep talking. There’s too much to work through here. I really don’t think you should go. Besides, I need you”

“You’ll be fine”

“No, Loki, I mean it” Tony said. “Please don’t go. I really need you here. I... I don’t want you to go”

Loki went quiet. Tony did too, until his phone beeped. He took it from his pocket, checking the screen and the time.

“I told Thor I’d visit every day. I told him seven. I should start getting ready... Are you gonna come with me?”

Loki didn’t respond. He picked up his drink and stared at the sky. Tony sighed and kissed him hard on the cheek.

“Ok”

Peter went into a rage as soon as he saw Tony. He shouted and swore and screamed at him, demanding to know why he’d been abandoned when he needed him so much, demanding to know if Loki had helped make the decision, demanding to know how long he was going to be stuck here against his will.

Tony was patient at first, and then tried to talk to Thor, asking him if Peter had eaten and what had happened at school. Thor tried to respond, but Peter kept interrupting, grabbing at Tony’s arm.

“I’m talking to you! Why aren’t you answering me?!”

“Peter, enough” Thor said. “Your father and I need to talk”

“I need to talk to him! He’s my dad, I’m the one who’s been abandoned!”

“I haven’t abandoned you, bambino” Tony said.

“Yes you have! I wanna come home, right now! You can’t make me stay here”

Tony didn’t know what to say. His heart was thumping in his chest, and he felt bad enough as it was without Peter acting like this. Thor saw this, and he grabbed hold of Peter, picking him up.

“Hey! Put me down! I’m trying to have a conversation here!”

Thor carted Peter off to his room, putting him down on the bed and tucking him in tight, so that he could hardly move. He left him there, closing the door behind him and going back to Tony. Well, it hardly took Peter ten seconds to wriggle free from the sheets, and he stormed right back out to the kitchen.

“Peter, go back to your room” Thor said.

“That’s NOT my room!” Peter scowled. “It’s just your stupid old guest room”

“Peter, please. Stop being so difficult. Just give us five minutes”

“But I still haven’t had my questions answered!” Peter said. “I just wanna know what’s happening”

“I’ve already told you. Now go”

Peter growled and stormed out of the room. Thor slowly turned to look at Tony.

“He’s not very happy”

“Yeah, I can see that” Tony said. “I don’t know if this is better than the little sobbing mess I was expecting to see or not”

“He kicked off a bit when he got back from school, but then he was quiet until you came. I don’t think this living situation has really sunk in yet”

“What happened at school? How long did he last?”

“I got a phone call at about ten past nine” Thor said. “He started crying as soon as he got to his form room and his classmates were concerned and one of them took him to the office. They’ve authorised the leave you told me about”

Tony sighed. “Poor little Peter. God, that kid has been through enough as it is. It’s not fair for him to have to go through something else so big. He was really ready to be a big brother, you know”

“I know; he’d talked to me about it a lot. He’s sensitive, too. I think it’s your pain that’s making it worse for him” Thor said. “He’s scared. He’s angry and confused and upset”

Tony nodded.

“How’s Loki?”

“Not great. We’ve had a really horrible day. He’s got his smokes and booze out again. You know that thing he used to do, where he’d just sit and stare into space and get drunk and stuff?”

Thor sighed. He knew all too well. “And you?”

“I wasn’t going to break my promise of visiting every day, so I didn’t drink. I didn’t really want to, either. See, until today, I’d just stayed in Loki’s arms, and I really need that, but he was kinda pushing me away today. He still let me hug him, but he didn’t really hug back. It was like I wasn’t there... Oh god, this hurts so much-”

Thor gave Tony a hug. “You can cry to me all you need to”

Tony shook his head. “No, I need to be strong for the kid. I’m here for him”

Thor sighed, but let him go. “It sounds like he’s calmed down a bit”

“Yeah. I’m gonna go in and see him”

Tony took a deep breath, dried his eyes, and cleared his throat. He didn’t want Peter to see how much he was hurting.

Peter was sat on the windowsill, looking at the window, watching the raindrops dripping down the glass.

“Peter?”

Peter didn’t look up, and he didn’t say anything, but Tony knew he knew he was there.

“Thor told me about what happened at school. But hey, at least you don’t have to go back again yet. Not until you’re ready. That’s good, right?”

Peter still didn’t move. The windowsill wasn’t big enough for two, so Tony just leant against the wall nearest to Peter’s feet.

“I know this is a bit of a shock. I just need you to be a good boy for me and daddy. You know we’ve got a whole lot of stuff to work out, and we’re not feeling well right now” Tony said. He swallowed. “Sweetheart, talk to me”

Peter drew his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them.

“I want to go home”

Tony sighed. “I know, honey... Listen, sweetheart, I... Home isn’t the best place for you right now. Me and daddy are gonna need some time to heal, and we’re not really in the best position to take the best care of you while we’re like this. So I just, we just need you to stay here with uncle Thor while we figure everything out. He can look after you properly and keep you safe while daddy and I are trying to come to terms with... Well, you know. You understand that, don’t you, pet?”

Peter turned his head more towards the window. Tony sighed and went to stroke the boys hair, but Peter suddenly snapped and slapped his hand away, hard. Tony looked at him, shocked and hurt by Peter’s actions, but then he sighed and lowered his hand.

“Sweetheart...”

“I want you to go now”

Tony swallowed and took a step back, wounded. He could feel the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“Ok. I’ll go” Tony stopped in the doorway of the living room. “Peter? I... I love you, kiddo. I love you so much. You know that, right?”

Peter didn’t move. Tony swallowed hard.

“See you tomorrow, darling”

Tony just about managed to keep it together in the car. When he got home, he went and found Loki, who had moved to the back room and was sat on the futon staring into space. He looked up when Tony came into the room.

“How did it go?”

Tony’s throat went tight and he burst into floods of tears. Loki looked at him in shock for a moment.

“Tony?! Oh Tony!”

Loki stood up and threw his arms round his husband. Tony collapsed against him, howling into his chest. He couldn’t control himself, not even a little bit. Loki sat down on the futon, holding Tony close against his chest, and Tony cried like he had never cried before, clinging to Loki’s arm and sobbing into the crook of his elbow, not knowing exactly what he was feeling, but knowing for certain that he hadn’t felt a pain like this ever in his life.

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson

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silkkpopbonnet · 5 years

Text

Second Chance Sanctuary

Months had passed since Ariana and Suho had been together. Through trial and error, YouTube and whatever books she could find, she learned more about how to care for and interact with Suho. The main takeaway was how fast hybrids grew, it seemed to happen overnight that he went from a toddler to a pre-teen. Suho was built to mature fast and slow down in aging. The dog part of him was stunted once he reached sexual maturity. He would probably live a little longer than she would. As Suho came into himself, Ariana wondered if he should still stay in her room, but as soon she suggested that he sleep in the guest room he became annoyed, laying his ears flat against his head and turning away from her.

"You're such a stubborn pup." She said one day as she tried to take a beef bone from him, that he'd been gnawing on from his stew.

"I am not a pup! I'm a grown man." He replied, sipping at the rest of the food in his bowl.

"Almost," Ariana replied, tossing it into the trash.

She did everything with Suho, eat, sleep, watch TV. He picked up on reading quickly, and the work she did in school, he copied and watched absorbing it all quickly. He was even helping her with math now. Ariana would get up for school, and Suho would follow her around as she got ready. When she left he'd wave from the window, and he was at the door to greet her with a smile and a hug when she came home

Because he was growing so fast, she noticed he was maturing in other ways as well. His tail wagged fast when certain music videos came on, she'd watch as he stuck his tongue out with rapt interest. When Suho was a pup, she didn't mind when he sat on the bathroom floor and played while she showered. Now, he couldn't do that. One day as she was showering, Ariana was just starting to wash her face when the curtain was pulled back and Suho started to get in the shower with her.

"Suho!" She yelled, nearly falling as soap got into her eye and she screamed.

"What?" He asked innocently, trying to catch her and help her wipe her face.

After she rinsed her eyes out Ariana covered herself, watching as the now taller than her Suho looked down at her. "You can't be in here."

"Why? I always sit in here or around here. I don't have to take a shower later now. This is fine." He reached past her to grab the loofah. "I will wash your back for you."

Boundaries, she'd have to set them. Ariana slapped his hands away as he reached for her, covering her chest once more. "Suho...please. Leave, I will explain when I am dressed."

Ears sitting forward on his head, he crinkled his nose at her. "You don't smell funny like you do sometimes. You know? When you're cranky and say your stomach hurts. You're kinda mean then. Why are you being mean now?"

Oh god, he knew about that? Warmth rushed to her cheeks as she clenched her teeth. "Suho, leave, I will not ask again."

Sighing, he turned from the shower. "Fine! But leave the water running. I don't understand you're being so rude lately. What am I doing wrong?" She heard the door close behind him and rested her back against the shower wall.

This was going to be hard.

"I am female. I went over biology with you." Ariana said as she and Suho sat in the living room after the maids had left.

"Yes, and I am a male. Don't patronize me." He was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest, an oversized shirt she picked up from the store on.

Sighing Ariana pinched the area between her eyes. "Suho, you are practically an adult now. I'm almost 18, you are now older than me." She tried to find a delicate way to say this. "You're mature...sexually. I don't think we should sleep together anymore and you certainly cannot see me naked. Do you understand? I'm not trying to be mean."

Suho scoffed. "I have no desire to mate with you. You're my noona, besides I don't find you that attractive."

Ariana balked. "Excuse me?!" She suddenly felt self-conscious. "I am attractive! Thank you very much! You're the one who thinks the garbage smells nice and chases his tail!"

"That was like twice! Stop bringing it up!" He yelled, standing up now. "I didn't say you were ugly! I said I don't find you attractive!"

"It's the same thing!" Poking at his chest, she watched his ears go flat on his head.

"The words are not mutually exclusive." Turning from her, Suho sat back down on the couch.

"Mr. Dictionary over here." Ariana sighed heavily, sitting down next to him. Reaching out a hand, she tried to touch his arm but he pulled away from her. "Suho, please. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Reaching again, she squeezed his bicep feeling the growing muscle under the tight shirt. "We need to buy more clothes."

"We means you, I don't go out of the house." He was still annoyed with her that much she could tell.

Did she have to hide him so much? They lived in a quiet neighborhood, no one was nosy. They had seen her so often now, and neighbors knew that she was alone most of the time. Her step-father was a doctor, would it be so strange for him to leave a hybrid as a companion or guardian for her? Ariana mused the thought over in her mind, everyone around here had a hybrid, even the woman next door had two cats. Suho could pass as a guard hybrid. She had been formulating over the idea for a week now.

"What if I take you with me? We can go together. I have my allowance, I don't need any new clothes, and you do. We can spend some time together, actually, go outside and not into the garden." She squeezed his arm again and felt him loosen up.

The sound of his tail thumping against the couch was loud in the room, but he still wasn't looking at her. "Do you mean it? Together?"

"Yes, we can go in the next hour." Trying to turn him towards her, Ariana succeeded when Suho turned to look at her, his ears sitting forward on his head perked in curiosity.

"When I was a pup you let me hold your hand. I haven't been out in a while and I might be...nervous." The sound of his tail thumping on the couch became louder now.

Ariana rolled her eyes. "Don't milk it. Just stay close to me, but yes I will hold your hand. Are you happy now? Do we have an understanding?"

"Yes," Suho pulled her into a hug, licking her cheek heavily, leaving a trail of saliva. "I can have my own bed too, but in the same room. You won't leave me, you promised me remember?"

Grimacing at his saliva, Ariana pushed him away. "I hate when you do that!" Still, he was right, she had promised him and truth was, she would feel out of sorts without Suho there. "Yea, we can redesign the room when we come back."

The outing was proving to be a success. The first store they went to, Suho picked a whole outfit and wore it out of the store. Apparently, he browsed Pinterest on her phone when she was sleeping. They went for coffee, Suho relishing the different tastes of the beans, she really should do this more often. Or at least start sending him on small errands so he could learn his way around. It didn't make sense for him to know nothing about the city he lived in.

"So, you will be graduating soon. What will you do?" Suho asked as they sat outside a small cafe eating ice cream.

"I don't know what I want to do. I want to help people, but I'm not sure in what way." Ariana watched the people move up and down the sidewalk. There were a few hybrids walking by, some sparing glances at the two.

"Like your mother and step-father. Which by the way, it's a miracle they don't know I live there." He said, stealing a peanut off her sundae.

"They aren't home often, not at all lately. Jeju, Tokyo, Bangkok. Always somewhere. My mother follows him when he goes. I don't mind." She smiled at Suho, pushing her ice cream around.

"You're a horrible liar. I'm a dog you know, I can tell from the way things feel. It's a sixth sense." He finished his cone and tried to pull her ice cream bowl towards him.

"I'm not lying." Letting him take it, Ariana sighed. "I just miss her I suppose. Our life was simple in New York."

"But were you happy there? Was she?" He spooned the sweet mixture into his mouth, watching her face contort with memories and decisions.

"I was content I guess. It was all I ever knew so why would I think any differently?" Ariana grinned at Suho. "But now I live in Seoul, in a nice home and I have you. I'm good! Things will get better, they'll get exciting. I'll graduate, and somehow figure out how to tell my parents about you, and this summer we can do a lot of things together before I'm forced to do something with my life."

He believed her, watching as she took the spoon back and ate some ice cream. She licked her lips, leaning back as the sun hit her face and neck. He had lied when he said he didn't find her attractive, he had wanted to calm her down. Looking at her now, watching her brown skin in the sun was natural. She belonged there soaking up the rays that fed her skin it's rich melanin. Her dark hair wasn't black like his but a rich chocolate brown that glowed in the sunlight. Her pink lips opened and he watched her tongue dart out to touch them. She was beautiful to him, but she wouldn't allow him to get that close.

Truth is he only got that close when they were sleeping, and he waited until her breathing evened out to roll over and examine her face. Her eyes and nose, wide set on her face, like his. Slender neck and a heart-shaped face with full lips. Sometimes, when she was at school he watched dramas and watched people kiss each other. A feeling raced through him, one that excited his heart and made something in his stomach quiver. He wanted that, and he wondered what it would feel like to kiss her, but after this afternoon he wouldn't know. She wasn't open to the idea. For now, he'd have to be content with breathing in her scent when she wasn't noticing him, and sleeping cuddled into her back.

"Suho, are you listening to me?" She asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

"No, I was thinking about how nice today was and going for a walk in a park or something." He made his eyes concentrate on her face and not the swells of her body that he was noticing now.

"With all these bags? You trippin' let's call Jung first and put them in the car, that way we can call him later to come and get us."

Suho walked behind Ariana as she spread her arms out and took in the sunshine and the heat. It had been a very cold winter and it was starting to heat up. She spun in a small circle and walked backward facing him.

"You wanted to walk, why are you looking so gloomy?" Coming to a stop in front of him, he put his hands in his pockets.

"I'm not! Just enjoying the weather quietly." Suho grabbed her arm pulling her in towards him.

She laughed and he realized how much the sound comforted him. He had known so much pain before she came into his life, now every day he got up because of her. The duo took a different winding path, into the woods and neither of them noticed that the farther they walked into the park, the trees surrounded them more. It wasn't until a particular odor hit Suho's nose that he stiffened up, pushing Ariana behind him.

"We should leave." He said quietly, as she tried to move back around him. He stopped in his tracks looking for a side trail or wondering if they should turn around.

"What's wrong?" Ariana asked, feeling a chill go down her back.

"I don't know. Turn around, stay close to me. I just don't like the smell here." He grabbed her hand hard, pulling her along when she noticed a short figure about her size off the side of the path.

Suho growled, moving to the side, he looked for a way around walking slowly past the figure.

"Oh shut up dog! I'm not bothering you, but you female, you smell delicious." The figure pushed his coat back to reveal a feline face with narrow eyes. He smiled at her, pointy canines gleaming. "Come on honey, I'm hungry, my lady died, give me something to eat, I can smell you have it."

"She doesn't give anything to strangers," Suho replied, trying to drag Ariana on.

He was jerked back when Ariana opened her small backpack and pulled out the rest of the croissant sandwich she hadn't eaten. "I'm sorry he's so rude. You're a hybrid, your lady died? Why are you here, isn't there someone to care for you? I'm Ariana by the way, what's your name?"

The male grinned, his bright eyes going over her body as he twitched his dark colored tail slowly. "Xiumin is my name, and no I ran off. Her niece had other plans for me." The feline wiggled his eyebrows at her. "If you know what I mean." Taking the sandwich from her, Xiumin walked around Ariana slowly, his tail moving against Suho's back teasingly, the sultry tone in his voice wasn't lost on Ariana. "Not before I picked up a few things though, should I repay your kindness?"

Suho growled loud. "No! She's mine. Go away." He realized what he said after he said it. "Ariana is mine to protect, leave cat!" He moved to shove Xiumin but Ariana pushed his arm away.

"Suho! Stop! I'm so sorry." Sending a glare at Suho who was now fuming. "Are you sure you have nowhere to go? Perhaps I can help, let me give you my address, even if you're hungry you can come and eat. You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"What the! We aren't a sanctuary for strays! Ariana stop talking to him, he probably has fleas!" Suho nearly yelled.

Ariana rolled her eyes, taking Xiumin's hand she placed a piece of paper on his palm."No one deserves to be cold, hungry and lonely."

"Charity hm? At what cost?" Xiumin asked, sniffing at the paper.

"Nothing. We can be friends...if you want."

Suho grumbled. "No, you won't."

Ignoring him, Ariana and Xiumin looked at each other, a slow smile creeping over his lips. Taking a bite of the sandwich he answered her with a full mouth. "We'll see Princess. Thanks for the sandwich." Without looking back he raced off into the trees.

"You shouldn't have done that." Suho scolded her. "You feed a cat once, and they keep coming back, bringing their friends too!" Dragging her from the woods, Suho grumbled the entire way out.

"Well if he does have friends, then maybe we can help them too, Suho, that isn't right. I helped you." An idea was starting to form in her mind.

"I was a lost, confused and hurt pup. He is a grown ass deviant feline, reeking of some perverse sexual behaviors that he wanted to show you. I won't allow it." Standing on the original path Suho fished around in her pocket for her cell phone thrusting it at her. "Call Jung, we need to go home, I'm agitated now."

"Calm down. We probably won't see him again anyway." Finding the contact name, she placed the phone to her ear.

Suho folded his arms over his chest. "Better not. Cats..pssh."

Chapter Three

#second chance sanctuary #exo as hybrids #exo hybrids #suho the dog #xiumin the cat #suho the shepherd #ariana and suho

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huphilpuffs · 6 years

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flares

chapter: 21/? summary: Dan’s body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he’s long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn’t the way to make himself happy. word count: 3343 rating: mature warnings: chronic illness, chronic pain, medicine a/n: a huge thanks goes to @obsessivelymoody for beta reading this for me!

Ao3 link || read from beginning

Dan wakes up alone.

His head is squashed into his pillow, mouth hanging open with drool drying at the corner of his lips, hair matted atop his head. His body feels weighed down, heavy on the mattress. The burn in his chest has faded to a simmer that sparks when his ribs expand around an inhale.

The air grates at his throat. So does the groan Dan lets out when it hurts.

He manages to roll onto his back so he can orient himself. Phil’s pillow is still sitting there, bright and blue and such a contrast to the dreary grays covering the rest of Dan’s room. On the nightstand, there’s a bright yellow post-it scribbled with black that Dan’s fairly certain is a note.

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

He shifts towards the edge of the mattress, arms aching in their attempt to move his weight, until he’s sitting in front of Phil’s pillow. It hurts his shoulder, but he leans over and plucks the post-it from its spot. Phil’s messiest handwriting is scrawled across it in black sharpie.

I had to go to work :( I called Taylor to make sure you’re okay so she should be here somewhere. I hope you’re feeling better.

The last few words are tiny, wedged into the corner of the paper. Above that, there’s a smudge of ink that looks almost like it was meant to be a heart.

Dan tries to tell himself it’s nothing, that Phil just pressed the marker to the paper for a moment too long, but his smile still grows wider.

He stares at the note for a really long time.

---

It takes Dan a while to drag himself out of bed.

His legs are still shaky under his weight and there’s a dull ache in the back of his neck that makes it hard to hold his head steady. He finds a pair of pyjama bottoms and struggles to pull them on so that he’s not in just his pants, but his chest still stings when it’s touched.

Besides, Taylor’s seen him shirtless before.

Pressing one hand to the wall for support, he leaves his bedroom, taking slow, steady steps into the lounge. He sees Taylor sitting on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table. Her hair’s thrown back into a high ponytail and she’s hunched over a book he can hardly see, a pen perched in one hand.

She was supposed to be at uni today. Dan swallows against the guilt that comes with the realization.

He manages to stumble halfway to the sofa before she notices him. Her pen clatters against the table as she bounces to her feet, and before he can take another step, she’s dipping under his arm and draping it over her shoulder.

“You could have, I don’t know, called out or something.”

Dan huffs out a laugh. Something twinges in his chest. “I was fine to walk, you know.”

“Phil said you almost fainted.”

“Yesterday. Then I got IV fluids and slept,” he says. They’ve reached the sofa by then, and Dan drops onto the cushions, lets his weight sink into the soft blanket laid over them. “You know my blood pressure does that sometimes, Tay. And then it recovers.”

Taylor shrugs. She drops back onto the floor without a word, and starts fidgeting with her pen. Dan counts how many times she clicks it.

There’s thirteen clicks before she speaks.

“Phil made it sound like you were dying or something,” she says. “I figured it was pretty bad.”

“Oh,” says Dan. “It wasn’t. That bad, I mean.”

He turns his head against the sofa, presses his nose to the blanket Phil got him. When his eyes drift closed, it’s to the image of Phil’s face last night, eyes gleaming with tears, staring at Dan attached a machine by so many wires. It’s to the phantom feeling of Phil’s goodnight kiss dusting across his hair.

“He was worried?” he hears himself ask.

Taylor huffs. “That’s an understatement,” she says. “He didn’t want to leave. I’m pretty sure he was late to work, actually. He just kept going around the house making sure everything was okay. There’s a smoothie for you in the fridge, by the way.”

“He made me a smoothie?”

Taylor hums. There’s a grin drawing at the corners of her mouth, happiness reaching her eyes. She looks good. She looks healthy.

Healthier than she has since Dan’s known her, at least.

Dan smiles back at her. He lets his gaze drift to the textbook that lies open, and it drops.

“More bio?”

“Yeah,” says Taylor. She sets her pen down again, but her head stays dipped towards the book of notes Dan couldn’t even try to understand. “You know how I’m seeing a counselor?”

It’s a whisper, too shy for the girl who would barge into his dorm when he was half-naked to do her homework and keep him company.

Dan forces himself to nod. “Yeah.”

“Well she thinks I should switch courses,” says Taylor. “I don’t know if I’m gonna do it.”

“Oh.” Dan swallows. His chest feels tight again, locked with uncertainty. It shouldn’t be a surprise, he thinks. But Taylor never talked about it, not of her own volition.

Then again, there were a lot of things Taylor didn’t do for herself. Things she couldn’t do for herself.

“I think you should, if it would make you happy,” says Dan.

He might be imagining it, but he thinks he sees her shoulders sag with relief.

---

They sit in silence for most of the day. Morning was already bleeding into afternoon when Dan woke up, and even now, with the day’s brightest sun peaking out from beneath the blanket curtain, he can’t muster energy to do much more than stare vaguely at the TV.

His vision goes out of focus every time there’s a flurry of movement on screen. Dan’s not even sure which movie it is that Taylor put on.

It’s not very good. At least, the bits his brain can pick up on aren’t very good.

He looks away. His neck feels weak and his head bobs a bit when he leans forward, but his gaze settles on Taylor. She’s still sitting on the floor, still reading her biology textbook.

Dan wonders how her brain can possibly be absorbing any of that.

“Taylor?”

She looks up, twisting so she’s facing him. Her eyes look a little hazy, but not nearly as much as they used to. Like maybe the prospect of leaving the sciences behind has reinvigorated her.

Not that the prospect of dropping out had done anything of the sort for–

“Dan?”

He blinks. Taylor’s still staring at him, brows furrowed in concern.

“Geez,” she says. “I thought you were gonna faint on me.”

Dan frowns. “It really wasn’t that bad.”

It’s starting to sound petulant to his own ears, but then his mind flashes back to one of the times he laid in the hospital sobbing as his chest seemed to want to cave in. Lightheadedness, though it makes anxiety curl tight in his gut, is nothing in comparison.

Taylor’s just staring at him now, and Dan wonders when he started feeling the need to explain himself to her.

“Really,” he repeats. There’s a pause as fingers catch at the edge of the blanket and he mumbles: “Did Phil really seem that worried?”

Her eyes go a little somber at that, and her shoulders a little tense. Dan’s hand wraps tighter around the fleece, thumb drifting over tiny furs in the fabric. He reminds himself that Phil bought it for him, tried to make his new home comfortable in the tiny ways he knew how at the time, in all the ways he’s learning to help.

There’s still a smoothie in the fridge for him. One that Phil left there.

“Honestly?” says Taylor, and Dan nods. “I think he was catastrophizing.”

“Oh,” says Dan. His chest feels tight again, because Dan knows what that means. He’s been there. Sometimes, in the darkness of nights where his body aches too much for his mind to drift off to sleep, he still ends up there.

Taylor, he knows, has been there, too.

She shrugs. “I don’t know. He didn’t say it,” she says. “It just kinda seemed like he was scared that if he left you, he would, you know, lose you.”

A lump wells in Dan’s throat. He swallows against it. All he manages in response is another quiet: “Oh.”

Taylor stares at him for a long moment after that, then shrugs one shoulder and turns back to her book.

“I could be wrong,” she says. “I don’t know him all that well.”

Dan shakes his head. He draws the blanket around himself, just a corner of fleece pulled pitifully over his chest because he can’t be bothered to stand and free the fabric from under his weight. Taylor’s not watching to see his eyes slip closed.

She wasn’t there to see the look on Phil’s face when Dan was hooked up to the ECG.

“I think you’re right,” he says.

Taylor drops her pen, turning to look at him again. “You do?”

“Yeah,” says Dan. “I just– There’s one thing that bugged me.”

He doesn’t elaborate. Part of him doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to place Phil anywhere near the doubts that lurk in the back of Dan’s mind. But the memory of the ECG fades into one from before, from back at the flat, Dan’s head still spinning and chest aching and Phil trying to help.

“Well?”

Something’s stinging behind Dan’s eyes, and he hates that he knows exactly why.

“He didn’t wanna go to A&E,” he says. “Like he seemed to get that it was serious, but he wanted to wait and see and I don’t know it just reminded me of–”

He clamps his mouth shut, but Taylor knows. She knows too much, he thinks, about the little things that linger, heavy, on his shoulders, about the memories he can’t entirely erase.

“Your parents?”

It’s a whisper, one they both know is true. Dan nods anyway, guilt twisting painfully in his gut.

She reaches up, rests a hand on his knee. Her eyes have gone soft, her gaze tripping over where Dan’s clutching the blanket too tightly, like a child.

“He’s not like your parents,” says Taylor. “You know that.”

Dan nods, because he does. He knows it so much it hurts, more than the lingering pressure against his ribs and the ache blooming at the back of his head, to doubt it.

Taylor squeezes his knee. “You okay?”

He’s not sure. But then again, Dan’s never sure when people ask him that.

He shrugs, and mumbles: “Yeah.”

---

Dan falls asleep to the sound of a boring film and the turning pages of Taylor’s textbook.

He wakes up to the TV gone silent, different voices drifting past his ears. His mind’s still hazy with fatigue, every thought a little blurry around the edges, mingling with the lingering vividness of some dream about college he doesn’t particularly care about.

He cares about the voices much more.

“Dan and I were talking,” says one. Taylor, he realizes a second later than he probably should. She must not be sitting on the lounge floor anymore because she sounds farther away.

He considers cracking his eyes open to check, but that takes effort.

“He said you didn’t wanna go to A&E,” she continues.

Dan’s stomach twists. If sleep wasn’t still rooted so heavily in his bones he would let them know he’s awake now just so she’d stop talking. In the same brilliance as a dream, Dan can picture Phil fidgeting, reaching up to comb his fringe out of his eyes like he always does.

He wonders if Taylor would notice that, too.

“He said that?” says the other voice, and Dan already knew it would be Phil but something shudders down his spine at the confirmation.

Taylor’s actually telling him about this.

There’s a hum, then silence. Dan wishes he could see. The dread has settled into a morbid curiosity now that he’s a little more awake, a little more aware, so he listens.

“Yeah,” says Phil. “I guess I was a little hesitant.”

“Hesitant?” says Taylor. “Or anxious?”

Dan has to count to keep his breath from catching. Four seconds to inhale and eight to exhale, once, twice, and a third time because his chest feels tight with knowledge he’s not supposed to have.

Knowledge he doesn’t have, he reminds himself. Phil still hasn’t responded.

Dan thinks that might be answer enough.

“I don’t mean to assume,” says Taylor. “I just have a bit of experience with that stuff. You can tell me if I’m wrong.”

There’s more silence. Phil still isn’t saying anything and Dan wonders if he’s staring at Taylor all wide-eyed and nervous like Dan did when she first asked him if he was ill. Or if he’s staring at the table, twisting his hand and letting his fringe cover his eyes the way Dan knows Phil does.

“Does Dan know?”

His breath does catch this time. And then he doesn’t breathe, too scared either of them noticed.

It’s not a yes, but it’s definitely not a denial either.

They must not have. There’s the quiet scratch of the chair against the floor, and a steady tapping Dan thinks must be someone’s foot. One of them, probably Phil, takes a deep breath, and Dan’s reassured enough that he does the same, easing some of the ache burning between his ribs.

“Dan has enough to worry about,” says Phil. “Besides, it’s mostly a resolved issue.”

And that’s it, a confirmation that shudders painfully through Dan’s chest.

“You should tell him,” says Taylor. “He’d want to know.”

Dan swallows. It sounds loud to his own ears, but no one else seems to hear it. His fingers twitch by the blanket still draped over his chest. He wants to pull it even tighter around himself.

He wants to wrap it around Phil and make sure he knows he can tell Dan things, too.

They don’t say another word after that.

Dan counts the seconds ticking by in his head until he thinks it’s been long enough that he can pretend to wake up.

---

Taylor stays for dinner.

Phil orders a pizza that they share as Dan sips at another smoothie. Taylor tells him about possibly changing her course and Phil offers advice far better than Dan could ever come up with. They laugh about how terrible they are at science. Dan joins in on that.

His chest aches afterwards. He’s not entirely sure it’s from the laughter.

When the pizza box is mostly empty and leftovers are being shoved into the fridge, Taylor tells them she should be heading out. She shoves her books into a backpack Dan didn’t realize she’d brought and thanks them for the food and the smile on her face looks real, looks happy.

She hugs Dan goodbye, the distant kind that doesn’t put any pressure against his ribs.

“Feel better,” she says. “And remember that he’s good for you.”

Dan watches her hug Phil afterwards, the tighter kind that has her standing on her toes instead of bending down. She says something against Phil’s shoulder, so quietly Dan can’t make out the words.

“Good luck with school,” Phil says in response.

Taylor laughs as she pulls away. “Thank you,” she says.

She looks like she means it.

Phil might be good for her, too, Dan thinks.

He wonders if either of them are good for Phil.

---

They sit on the sofa again that night.

It’s not even a conscious thing anymore when Dan presses himself against Phil’s side, letting his head drop to rest on Phil’s shoulder. Fingers thread into his hair and rub gentle patterns against his head and Dan stares at the TV screen, at whatever show’s playing now, but his vision can’t focus.

Neither can his brain.

The blanket is draped over both of them now, tucked in against Dan’s side and Phil’s thigh. Beneath it, Dan reaches over to rest his hand on Phil’s knee.

There was a time when that was the only part of Dan that Phil would touch. It seems like so long ago now.

“Can I ask you something?”

Phil looks away from the screen. His eyes look a little hazy. A soft smile curls at the corner of his mouth and makes Dan’s chest go warm.

“Of course,” he says.

Dan squeezes his knee. “How are you?” he says. His voice feels thick in his throat and breaks into a whisper. “I feel like last night was new for you and I just– Yeah. How are you?”

He watches Phil’s brows furrow, feeling something tighten in his stomach at the sight. White tears flash into his mind, a pale face and uncertain frown and Phil’s fingers gripping the hospital bed like he was even more unsteady than Dan had felt.

Dan wonders if his chest had ached, too. If something different had rooted itself between Phil’s ribs that night, took his breath the way pain stole Dan’s.

“I should be asking you that,” says Phil.

His fingers have gone still in Dan’s hair, his smile a little faded.

“I’m used to it, though,” says Dan. “You’re not, right? It was new for you?”

His hand tightens at the back of Dan’s neck. It sends a shot of pain down Dan’s spine, blooming across the back of his head, but he forces himself not to wince. He wants to hear what Phil has to say. He wants to listen, for once.

Phil deserves a friend that will listen,

“Yeah, I guess it was new,” says Phil. “But that doesn’t matter–”

“It matters to me.”

Phil’s eyes go wide and Dan wants to says of course it matters to me, you idiot, you’ve done more for me than anyone ever has, but it feels like too much. It all feels like too much, because Phil’s fingers move in his hair again so he’s cradling the back of Dan’s head.

Dan’s pretty sure he stops breathing.

But Phil just leans in closer and dusts a gentle kiss to Dan’s head.

Again.

He pulls away like it’s nothing, and tugs Dan back against his chest like he belongs there.

It feels like he does.

God, for the first time in so long it feels like he belongs somewhere.

“It was new for me, okay?” says Phil. “And maybe a little scary. Hospitals aren’t exactly my strong suit, and I don’t– It’s scary to see someone you care about attached to machines like that, even if they’re used to it. But I’m fine. I’d go there again tonight if you needed to.”

He sucks in a deep breath when he stops talking. Dan’s pressed so close to him, he can see, can feel the small stutter of his ribs.

“You would?” he asks.

Phil huffs out a laugh that makes no noise, but rumbles through his chest, echoes in Dan’s. “Of course I would,” he says, like it’s obvious.

Maybe it’s supposed to be.

Except no one else has ever been willing to do it before.

“You needed it,” says Phil. “I wanna help you when you need things.”

Dan smiles. His hand is still on Phil’s knee and Phil’s is still in his hair. He watches Phil’s chest rise and fall with a breath and forces himself to mirror it, past the pressure in his chest that burns bright and brilliant and new.

He’s used to a lot of things.

This, Dan realizes, isn’t one of them.

Maybe because, this time, something about it feels good.

He turns his head, hides his face against Phil’s shoulder so he can’t see the TV or the curtains or the silhouette of his hand on Phil’s leg through the blanket they’re sharing.

“I wanna help you when you need things, too,” he mumbles, pressing the words against Phil’s skin.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #flares #callie writes words

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elsalapizza · 6 years

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Fic: Smells Like Teen Spirit

Relationship: Castiel/Dean Winchester Word count: 1,972 Square filled: a/b/o (#14) for @spnfluffbingo Written for day #9 of @notfunnydean ’s advent calendar “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer” Summary: At thirteen, Dean presents as a male omega in a universe where male omegas are very rare. The people of the small town he lives in don't handle it very well. Some even very seriously compare his situation to Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer's. Dean could have done without. Read it on Ao3

Dean presented as an Omega a little more than a month before turning thirteen.

Thirteen was exactly the right age to be presenting. Not too early that you felt like your childhood was prematurely over, the only adult in a class full of kids who didn’t understand why you suddenly smelt like their dad; not too late that you felt like a baby amongst all your peers, locked out of the not-so-select club of those in the know. No, thirteen was exactly the right age.

It was presenting as an omega when you were a boy that was not a good thing. Not a good thing at all.

And more than being bad, presenting as a male omega was just completely unpractical. Because male omegas were so rare, the small town of Lawrence, Kansas where Dean lived had not only never seen one live, but had barely any documentation about them at all.

When you presented, there usually was an adult you trusted who could explain to you the specifics of what was gonna happen to you, from scents to ruts to mating. For Dean, it was the school nurse, who had very obviously no idea about anything at all. Her only words for Dean were that he was a bit like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. No one would really understand him for a while, but she was sure he would end up finding his place in the world and being more valuable than anyone else.

Dean got out of this meeting convinced of two things: someone definitely needed to start an inquiry about this woman’s degree and this reindeer thing was 100% coming from the advent calendar decorating her desk.

And Dean definitely did not want to be Rudolph the reindeer. Rudolph was the only reindeer anyone actually remembered, and his nose shined like a beacon through the night. All Dean wanted was to be left alone.

But Lawrence, Kansas was a small town, and Dean went in one day from a thirteen year-old kid no one had ever really heard from to “that omega boy”.

Dean hated this and Dean hated his life. Plus, the fact that no one actually knew shit about male omegas meant that everyone made it their fucking mission to make up as much as humanly possible. It was kinda expected; after all, having a male omega in their town might have been, for most of these folks, the most exciting thing that ever happened.

Except Dean was the one and only target for all this craziness, and Dean was only a thirteen year old boy. Dean hadn’t chosen to become a male omega and didn’t deserve any of this.

Dean didn’t deserve that some people would start whispering, “Can you smell him? I smell him! This is the weirdest scent I’ve ever smelt!” when he walked by. Dean didn’t deserve people he only knew in passing stopping him in the street and explaining to him their theory that male omegas could never mate and were destined to stay by themselves for ever. Dean didn’t deserve the fertility or lack thereof of male omegas being debated on the town’s one radio station.

And it all came back to was to the one reason everyone made stuff up about male omegas: the only documentation available in town was for female omegas, and anytime Dean could sneak up an internet search on the library computer, anything about male omegas was blocked by parent-control as it was considered porn. Dean had absolutely no way of knowing anything about himself and about what was in store for him in the future.

The only actual fact about himself Dean had access to, and that everybody seemed to agree on, was that Dean’s scent was absolutely repugnant. Depending on the person, it was either too heady or too acrid, too flowery or too stale, but what was sure was that it hadn’t been this way before Dean presented. Even Sam—though he would never admit it in front of Dean—could feel that Dean smelt off now.

Just like that, with one hormone released into his system, Dean’s life had turned into a complete nightmare.

The nightmare lasted for five terrible years.

Five years of unprepared-for heats, nonsensical restrictions and community-wide disdain, and Dean had vowed that it would not last one minute more.

He would regularly drive out-of-town, ever since he’d gotten his learner’s permit, to go buy stocks of scent-blockers, but now that he was of-age, Dean was driving away for good. He was devastated to leave Sammy, but determined to live in a place where he could regain at least some of his anonymity.

Drenched in scent-block and with a job at the greasiest joint around, Dean was living in a Big City now, and counted on garbage and pee and mostly people’s indifference to stay unnoticed. Some store clerks or bank staff would sometimes give him strange looks when it was the end of the day and Dean’s natural male-omega scent took over, but other than that, Dean’s strategy seemed to be somewhat working.

Dean had even managed to find some actual scientific information on himself thank to a queer group he was sometimes hanging out with. The few people there were the only ones who knew what he was, and they had not batted an eyelid when he’d told them. Between a couple of trans-kids, an alpha chick who was exclusively into alpha chicks and a middle-aged man who had never actually presented, he was hardly the most mind-blowing person they’d ever seen.

So now he knew that the stronger-than-usual scent was indeed a male omega thing. He also knew that in spite of it, male omegas—or at least the few whose existence had gone on record—were able to mate. Some of them had been able to carry babies, some not. The sample from which scientists got their data was still too small to get more info than that, and Dean couldn’t blame them. He himself was not in the mood to get dissected by some white coat.

At least he was reasonably sure none of the doctors he was susceptible to meet here would find that Rudolph the reindeer was an appropriate comparison to his messed-up biology.

He was still the only male-omega around though. None of his new friends had ever met one before either, and after a few years of living here, Dean had stopped looking. Even if he’d moved to the city, he was still in the Midwest after all, and if there were other people like him, they were no doubt trying to blend in as much as Dean was.

So Dean was living his life, working a service job he didn’t hate in a city he felt comfortable in. Sam had come to visit him a few times, and they talked on skype regularly. He had even stopped reacting when people noticed his scent in the street. It didn’t matter so much when you knew that there was little chance to ever cross path with them again.

And then one day, when Dean really had stopped expecting it a long time ago, some guy stopped him just outside of his building.

“Excuse me, sir?” a man asked, with a deep, gravelly voice.

Dean didn’t even think about it before turning towards him. “Yeah. D’you need help with—” Dean cut himself off. The man was actually pretty gorgeous, with features cut out from marble and biceps the size of Dean’s thighs; his scent was 100% alpha and made Dean want to melt into a puddle. The man also wore sunglasses on a gray winter day and held a white cane in his fist. Dean hesitated between being overly helpful to a beautiful blind guy, and trying to play it a bit cooler than that.

The guy went on before Dean had the time to choose though, “I’m sorry if I am being too forward, but I couldn’t help but pick up your scent, and I have to say I never smelt anything quite like it before.”

Dean froze. It was 8:30 in the morning. He’d just taken a shower and drenched himself in his usual scent-blockers. Having this random dude being able to smell him anyways made his whole body tense.

“Look, man. I don’t know you, but I can tell you I’m not interested in what you’re selling. Someone’s scent is personal, and you’re being a lot creepy,” Dean said sharply, hoping the guy wouldn’t prey on the uneasiness he was feeling.

“My apologies,” the man hurried on, and he sounded so sincere that Dean couldn’t help but hear him out. “I did not mean to perturb you. It’s only that, with my disability, I often get completely overwhelmed by the smells in the city, and encountering someone who stands out like you do feels exceptional. With winter and its black ice coming soon, it would be very helpful for me to have a scent to follow in the case my cane fails me, as it sometimes does in this weather…”

“What?” Dean said, as eloquently as ever. This had not gone in the direction he’d expected. Not at all. Was this man even aware that the scent he had waxed poetry about was a male omega’s?

“I am sorry. I am not making myself clear. I know you no doubt have a job to go to, but I was wondering if you would agree sometimes, only if you’re available of course, to help me getting around in the city during winter.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. How could this guy…this guy, who was potentially so vulnerable to assholes taking advantage of him because of his disability, how could this guy Dean had never met before, how could he trust Dean enough to ask him to put his life into his hands this way? Well maybe not his entire life—Dean may have a tendency to exaggerate when he was confused—but it was enough.

This dude might be the bravest man Dean had ever come across and he couldn’t help himself. Dean could see no other choice but to say yes.

So that’s how it started.

Just like that, with one random encounter in the street, Dean’s life had turned into a complete dream.

The guy’s name was Castiel, and for a few weeks, Dean met him twice a week to help him take care of errands. He was smart and unassumingly funny, and in way less time than he would like to admit, Dean became completely smitten.

Soon, it wasn’t twice a week but every day, and even when the black ice risks had gone by, there was always an excuse to hang out with Cas.

Then one day, Cas kissed him.

The first night they spent together, Dean didn’t put any scent-blockers at all, and he discovered how it was like to have sex with someone who could actually tell who he really was. He discovered what it was like to have sex with someone he felt could one day become his mate.

When they lay together afterwards, Cas told Dean that for him, Dean’s scent was a beacon in the dark, and that that first time they’d met, Cas had believed for one instant that he’d been able to see.

The memory of being compared to Rudolph the reindeer came back to Dean, unbidden. He would never change his mind about that school nurse being completely full of crap, but Dean couldn’t help but think that she’d inadvertently been right about him after all.

Because here in Cas’s arms, he did feel like he found his place in the world. And he was maybe not the most valuable being in existence, but he was valuable to Cas, and that was all that mattered.

#spnfluffbingo #spnadventcalendar2018 #deancas fic #destiel fic #destiel #this is miiiine #my fic #the angel and the tramp #spn

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buriednurbckyrd · 7 years

Text

Whenever You Need Me

Chapter 1

Part 3 of my Bucky x Plus-Sized Reader series after Lose Control & Valentine’s Day Do-Over

You’re speaking to students at a career convention when and accident happens..

...

Convention centers always seemed to be universally freezing, the air conditioning going full blast to compensate for the hundreds of bodies milling about. Y/N shivered in her cardigan while she picked at the complimentary lunch that had been provided. Tony Stark sat across from her, his own food left untouched while he scrolled through his phone.

“That macaroni salad isn't going to suddenly become less disgusting, no matter how many times you poke it with your fork.” He told her. She looked up at him and set the utensil down, shoving the Styrofoam container away.

“I'm still not sure I'm the best person for this, T.”

“How so?” He flicked his eyes up at her, fingers pausing mid text. “It's an open discussion with teenaged girls about women working in fields of science and technology. Last I checked you were a woman working in the fields of science and technology, unless that has somehow changed in the last four hours?” When she didn't reply he continued typing out his message while she looked around at the numerous high school students wandering around.

When she had first heard about the plan to hold a sort of job fair for the kids in the city, she thought it was a wonderful idea. The students could listen to people working in various occupations speak about their experiences on the job and what inspired them to go into their line of work. Tony had been personally invited to speak, not only on his own, but also to participate in several panels throughout the day. Y/N was pulled in when she had been looking over the list of speakers and made an offhanded remark that there were very few women scheduled to speak, and none of them worked in scientific fields. Before she knew what was happening, Tony was making some calls to the people in charge and she was volunteered to have a sit down with girls with an interest in scientific careers.

“Who actually wants to hear what I have to say, though?” She said quietly. “There are some seriously big names here today.”

“Doesn't matter how big the name is if someone has no interest in the occupation.” Tony replied, still typing away on his phone. Y/N heard her own chirp at her from her bag and reached in to see who was calling.

“Bucky?” She said, answering.

“Hey, Doll.” She couldn't help the wide smile that broke out across her face at the nickname.

“What's up, is everything all right?”

“I'm fine, but a little birdie tells me you're kinda nervous about talking with the students.” Y/N looked over at Tony.

“Would this happen to be a little iron birdie with a giant beak attached to an even bigger head?” The man on the phone chuckled while the one sitting across from her grinned and blew her a kiss.

“Don't be too hard on the guy, darlin', he just thought you could use a friendly voice. But why are you nervous? You're just gonna talk about your work, and you love your work.” She glanced over at Tony, unsure if she was willing to let him hear about her insecurities.

“It's just…” She trailed off and sighed. “I guess it just reminds me of giving presentations in high school, and then I think about how much I hated high school and I know I should be over all of it because it's in the past and I'm definitely a very different person than I was back then-”

“Shh, breathe for me darlin'.” Bucky soothed and she paused to take a deep breath. “These young women signed up to hear what you have to say. Remember that, and how far you've come since school. And if nothing else, pretend you're talkin' to me. You tell me about your work all the time, and these girls might actually understand some of it!” Y/N laughed. She could feel her heart rate slowing down, Bucky calming her nerves.

“I love you. Thank you.”

“I love you too, and you're welcome.”

“What did you decide to do today?” She asked.

“Me and Steve are taking Sam to this deli we used to go to when we were kids. The guy that owned it back then is obviously long gone, but his great-granddaughter and her husband run it now. It's still the food we remember, though.” She could hear the smile in his voice. So much had changed in the world, and she knew it meant a lot to Steve and Bucky when something could give them the feeling of the life they missed.

“You'll have to take me some time, I hope you three have fun. I do need to let you go, though. I should start looking for the room I'm meeting with the students in.”

“All right, Doll. I can't wait to hear all about it, love you.” She blushed and smiled.

“I love you, too.” Tony made a gagging sound which she ignored. “I'll give you a call afterward.” She ended the call and put her phone on silent. She intended to give the students her full attention. “Okay, we both need to get going. I know you think you're allowed to be fashionably late, but it's rude.”

“The public expects me to make an entrance, sweetheart,” the billionaire said with a wide grin. “It's just giving the people what they want.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“The people want you to show up on time. Get marching, Stark.” He heaved an exaggerated sigh and stood, slipping his phone into his pocket.

“I'm going, I'm going...” Y/N snorted as he dragged his feet walking away, sparing a few moments to watch Tony's dramatics before throwing her bag over her shoulder and taking her own leave.

…

She stared at the door for a good ten seconds before taking a deep breath and walking into the room. Fifteen faces turned to look at her and her heartbeat picked up speed.

“Um, hi-hello. I'm Y/N Y/L/N.” She said, feeling foolish and awkward. Every girl had notebooks and pens at the ready. It had never occurred to her that they would want to take notes. She dropped her bag next to her on the floor and took a seat at the end of the long conference table. A few of the students picked up their pens, waiting for her to begin. “I'll be honest with you all, I'm not really sure how to begin. Maybe we could, uh, go around the room and you can all introduce yourselves?” Y/N could feel the embarrassment form a lump in her throat and tried to conjure Bucky's reassuring words in her mind. “Sorry, I'm kind of nervous.” She smiled at them all, and felt relieved when most of them smiled back. “So yeah, why don't you introduce yourselves and share what fields of study you're interested in.”

It went a lot smoother from there. A few of the students were interested in medical research, a few looking to go to school for engineering, and a handful were on track to study biology. The rest knew they wanted to pursue education and careers in science, but were unsure of the field.

“It's fine not to know exactly what you want to do right now,” she assured them all. “There are plenty of core classes you can begin taking before you choose the direction you want to take, and it may be beneficial to try a few different subjects. The best part of a career in science is you never stop learning! My official title is Chief Technical Analyst, which is a fancy way of saying I dig through hard drives and figure out how mystery gadgets work.” A few of the girls giggled. “But I'm incredibly fortunate that I get to work along side some of the most brilliant minds in science. Since I began working with Dr. Banner-”

“Wait, you work with The Hulk?” One of the students interrupted.

“Well, I guess? But as I was saying-”

“Does that mean you know Tony Stark?” Another girl squealed. “I thought I saw you with him earlier! What's he like?”

“You're like, an Avenger! That is so cool!” Y/N frowned and shook her head.

“I'm not an Avenger. I don't fight crime, I just analyze the evidence they bring me. It really isn't as exciting as the media would lead you to believe, it's a lot of paper work.”

“Have you ever seen a dead body?”

“Do you know how to shoot a gun?”

“Is Captain America that cute in person?” Y/N held up her hands and the excited chatter died down.

“Look, my work is the behind the scenes science stuff. But as I was trying to say before, I am lucky to have the freedom to dip my toes into other areas. Most recently, neurobiology. If you take anything away from this, I hope you remember that you aren't locked down into any one thing. You're going to discover that everything is connected in science.” Fifteen pairs of eyes were glued to her, but she knew she had lost them to the curiosity about her famous friends. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Yes, I know how to shoot a gun.” The girls erupted into more questions.

…

Even after they were miles off topic, Y/N still tried her best to get the girls back on track. Just when she thought they might be ready to talk more about education and careers, Tony waltzed into the room stunning every one of them into awed silence. Y/N scowled at him, knowing that there would be no chance of reining them in.

“Sorry to barge in, ladies,” he said smoothly. “But I need to steal this brilliant woman away from you early.” A few girls giggled. “Ms Y/L/N? May I speak with you outside?”

“Absolutely, Mr. Stark.” She replied, trying to mask her annoyance. She looked at the students. “I'm sorry we had to cut this short, but I hope it helped you anyway.” The statement was only a courtesy. She had lost control of the meeting and she doubted they would take anything away from it. While the girls muttered amongst themselves she gathered up her bag and followed Tony out of the room. “What the hell, T?” She hissed as soon as the door closed behind him. She opened her mouth again to scold him when he turned around. The worry on his face silenced her in a moment.

“I'm really sorry, sweetheart, but it's an emergency.” Dread flooded her stomach.

“What happened?”

“Bucky was in an accident.”

“What?!” She cried. Tony took her arm and started to lead her quickly, yet gently towards the nearest exit. “I don't understand, they were just going to have lunch! How was he in an accident?” She blindly fished for her phone, pulling it out and seeing the missed calls from Steve and Sam.

“They did go to lunch, it happened when they were walking back to the tower.” He paused when the got outside and called his driver. “It was the most cliched thing,” he began again after they got into the car. “Some guy lost control of his car and almost ran over a woman out walking with her kid. Barnes pushed them out of the way and, well...” He trailed off. Y/N just stared out the window, watching the city speed by, guilt eating up her insides. They had been trying to get a hold of her for almost an hour.

…

She didn't wait for Tony to get out with her at the hospital. When the car slowed down to nearly a stop she threw open the door and ran. Sam was pacing just inside the hospital.

“Where is he? What's going on?” She demanded as soon as she saw him.

“Slow down, baby girl, take a breath.” He put his arm around her shoulders and started over to the elevators. “Barnes is gonna be fine, okay? I promise you it isn't as bad as you're imagining.” Y/N went weak with relief.

“You- Steve- you both called me so many times.” Sam pushed the button for the correct floor and the doors slid shut.

“I know, and I know how that must have looked.” He looked uncomfortable. “It's his arm, Y/N. His right arm. It's definitely broken.” The gravity of Sam's words sunk in.

“Oh god, he's got to be losing it.”

“He's losing it on a level I've never seen before, and I've seen people lose it more times that I can count. Steve has been trying to get him calmed down, but he's refusing to let anyone come near him.” The elevator came to a stop and as soon as they stepped out she could hear him shouting. Several nurses and at least one doctor were huddled in the hallway looking traumatized. It wasn't difficult to figure out which room Bucky and Steve were in. Pushing aside all of her unease, determined to be strong for the man she loved, she reached for the door knob. A hand shot out and gripped her wrist.

“I'm not sure you want to do that. The Captain told everyone to stay out here until he calms down.” The nurse told her. Y/N shook her head and offered a watery smile.

“You don't have to worry about me.” She replied gently and walked into the room.

Neither man noticed her come in. Steve was standing with his back to her, his hands up and his stance reminding her of someone faced with a dangerous or skittish animal. Bucky's eyes were screwed shut, sweat beading on his forehead. He held his right arm across his stomach, both shoulders hunched over in pain. His entire body trembled like it did when he had a particularly bad nightmare.

“Don't touch me!” He screamed at Steve, who took a step backwards into Y/N.

“Y/N?” He looked relieved to see her, and Bucky's head snapped to attention when he heard her name. He just watched her with wide terrified eyes, shaking like a leaf. “I'm sorry we had to call you away from the students.” Steve said, looking apologetic.

“No, I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner.” She did her best to keep her voice calm and steady. “What happened?”

“This car came out of no where, nearly clipped someone on a bike. There was a woman crossing the street with her daughter and they just froze. Bucky just ran over without thinking, pushed them out of the way and took the hit.” Y/N nodded and took a few steps towards the bed. Bucky recoiled and she stopped.

“The man driving the car?” She asked.

“He had a massive heart attack at the wheel,” Steve croaked out. “DOA.” Y/N crept closer to Bucky and reached out a hand.

“James?” He looked up at her, still clutching his arm. She could tell it was broken just looking at it.

“Don't let them take it. Please, don't take it.” He choked out. His voice was much quieter now, fear overtaking aggression.

“Your arm is just broken, darling. They only need to set it and wrap it in a cast so it can heal.” She said gently, stepping closer and reaching her hand out to stroke his cheek. Bucky leaned into her touch and let out a long shaky sigh. “I'll stay with you the whole time, I promise.” Her heart broke to see this brave, strong, selfless man so afraid. One of his most reoccurring nightmares was him reliving the removal of his left arm. “Does anything else hurt?” She asked. She looked over her shoulder at Steve who shook his head the silent question. The broken arm was the only injury that needed attention.

“I'm sorry you had to come down here.” Bucky mumbled. Y/N smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Just hush now, I would have been here sooner but my phone was on silent. I'll always be here if you need me.” He finally looked up at her, his expression miserable. Still holding his injured arm against his body, he slipped his metal limb around her soft waist and pulled her closer. Y/N angled her body so she didn't bump his bad arm.

“Can the doctor come in now and look at you? I promise I won't leave and I won't let them do anything without your permission.” Bucky was silent but eventually gave a short nod. “All right Steve, you can let them in.”

True to her word, Y/N stayed glued to Bucky's side. There was a tense moment when they told them X-rays were needed and she wouldn't be allowed in the room with him, but she calmed him down and stood on the other side of the door and talked to him the entire time. After another few hours they could finally leave the hospital. Bucky's right arm in a cast and sling. He was quiet and withdrawn on the ride back to the tower. Steve attempted to make conversation a few times, but Bucky only stared down at his lap. Sam kept any jokes or smart remarks to himself, which Y/N deeply appreciated.

Once they were home Bucky took off for the elevator, muttering that he was going to bed. Y/N turned to Steve and Sam with a tired smile.

“Thank you for getting him to the hospital. I know he probably fought the two of you on it.” Sam pulled her into a hug.

“Tooth and nail. We finally had to invoke your name.” She let out a feeble laugh. “Go take care of him, cupcake. Make sure the two of you get some sleep, and if you need any thing at all just give a holler.” Steve hugged her after she pulled away from Sam and kissed the top of her head.

“I'm glad he has you,” he told her softly. “And like Sam said, if you or Bucky need anything just alert FRIDAY.”

Up in hers and Bucky's shared rooms she found him curled into the smallest form he could manage on their bed. She saw his shoulders tense when she climbed in next to him. Knowing him as well as she did, she didn't try and talk to him. Instead she cuddled against him and gently scratched her nails up and down his back just the way he loved. They lay there quietly for a time and Y/N could feel him relax. After a while Bucky shifted and rolled onto his back.

“Hey, you.” Y/N murmured. He turned his face towards her.

“I'm sorry, Doll.”

“You don't need to apologize.” She reassured him.

“I just-I couldn't-”

“Shh… It's okay. You're okay and you're going to heal.” She smoothed his hair back off his face. “You saved those people, and they will never forget that. No one else could have taken that hit and walked away from it. I wish you hadn't been hurt in the process, but your accelerated healing will have you back to fighting shape in no time.” He made a small noise in response and then stared up at the ceiling.

“I just kept thinking, what if I lose this arm too?” His voice cracked and he swallowed hard. “What if I never got to touch you again?”

“Oh, Bucky.” Her heart felt so heavy.

“I love you, Y/N. You deserve someone that isn't so broken.”

“I love you, James. I don't need some great on paper guy, I need you. Your edges fit just perfect with my curves.” His lips quirked up slightly.

“Your curves are perfect.” He frowned. “If it weren't for this stupid cast...” She giggled and kissed his cheek.

“The doctor said it could come off in as soon as three weeks, thanks to your super soldier bod.” He turned his head and leaned in for a kiss, groaning against her lips.

“It's gonna be a long three weeks...”

#bucky barnes x plus size reader #plus-sized reader #bucky x reader #slight angst #bucky gets hurt #bucky barnes needs a hug #reader and tony are buds

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conventionalstoryteller · 6 years

Text

Can We Keep It?

Author’s Note: The second out of three stories for my writing course. I really like this one because DRAGONS, that’s why. Honestly, if I can fit a dragon into all of my work I’ll be happy. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

This work is cross-posted on AO3, under the same name.

“I am never leaving you alone in the apartment ever again.” Amrin set a disposable coffee tray on a scratched countertop, glaring at the scene before her. Ty shifted nervously.

“It could be worse!” Ty reassured. “At least it’s not water damage.” Their small kitchen was completely torn apart; the ceiling was cracked and huge scratches were gouged into the walls. Broken glass and drywall littered the floor, torn paper still fluttering to the ground. The lights flickered ominously, and Amrin forced herself to take a deep breath.

“Ty,” she began. “Did you replace the protection herbs after I left?” Ty reached for the closest disposable cup and took a sip. He made a face.

“Hazelnut creamer in coffee? I mean, I can understand it in hot chocolate, but-”

“Don’t change the subject, Tyrick Fairclough!” Amrin crossed her arms. “What happened to my wreath?” Ty began to dig through a precariously-balanced drawer.

“You know I hate it when you call me that.” Amrin didn’t move, and he sighed.

“To be fair, I was trying to improve the lock.” Ty announced, stirring his coffee with a fork. Amrin pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I told you to follow the instructions on the fridge! I’ve shown you the exact spell a hundred times already!” Amrin groaned, running a hand through her tangled hair. “A magickal theory prodigy, and you can’t even keep a lock intact!”

“It just didn’t make sense!” Ty pulled out his wand. Amrin had seen the tool many times before, but it still managed to catch her attention. The yellow cedar was about ten inches, covered with a delicate vine carving. A simple leather cord wrapped around the handle; strung with shells that clicked every time the wand moved.

Ty tapped the beautiful wand to his arm twice, and Amrin focused on her boyfriend. He muttered an incantation under his breath. Three books flew out of the hallway to spin around Ty, flipping through the pages at his whim.

“The centaury is mostly used for evil spirits, not wildlife! Amaranth was a good idea, but with the sage… I thought garlic would amplify it with a little more concentration.” Ty flipped one of the books open towards her, showing a crude diagram of a bundle of herbs. Messy handwriting scoured the page, scratched out and edited with dozens of different inks.

“It’s bad enough that you chose to organize the herbs in a wreath! I mean, wreaths are for people actively trying to cause harm, and not misfortune in general. Mabe a simple bundle at the doormat will work better?” He looked up, and rubbed the back of his neck. “But I knew you liked the wreath, so I tried to just weave in the new herbs. It didn’t work very well.” He gestured at a pile of ash on the floor. Amrin opened her mouth to shout, then she hesitated. Deep breath, Amrin. It’s just some cracks in the wall. She took a long breath. Now, express your feelings calmly and effectively. Use ‘I’ statements, not ‘you’ statements.

“I am frustrated,” she said cautiously, “Because I thought I did enough to avoid any damage during the dragon migration, but I should have cast a more permanent spell.” Amrin looked at the pile of herbs. “That spell has worked every year, but I should have realized that you would want to improve it. Maybe I should have made a second one for you to fiddle with.”

Ty gave her a forced smile. “It’s alright! All my fault, after all. Dragon migration is almost over, so we can probably repair everything tonight, and maybe we can develop a protection spell for next year!” Ty was slowly inching towards the hallway, hands behind his back. “I’ll look at the fridge again. Thanks for understanding, Ammie.”

Amrin stared at him. “The fridge is the other way.”

Ty immediately blocked the doorway. “Yes! Yeah, I’m just...going to look around, make sure that there isn’t anything important broken.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“Or not! Maybe you could-” Amrin pushed past the stammering Ty into the hallway. A trail of destruction lead straight to their bedroom, and she looked incredulously at Ty.

“I better not see what I think I’m going to see.” she threatened, and swung open her door.

“No!” Ty yelped, but it was too late.

The bedroom was in shambles. The bed was flipped and pressed against the far wall, one of the bedposts sticking through into the bathroom. . But what stood out to Amrin was the nest next to the heater. Cords, necklaces, and the odd spoon were woven tightly into a small bowl. A large pot lid was thrown haphazardly on top, and tinfoil surrounded the strange creation. Amrin took a deep breath. She looked back at Ty, who was frozen midstep.

“If I look inside that nest,” she began, ice creeping into her tone. “Will I see a dragon?”

Ty shook his head.

“No?” he tried, but Amrin was already walking towards the nest. She grabbed the lid (noticing the unnatural heat on the handle) and cracked it open. A small jet of flame shot out of the opening, and Amrin let the lid fall shut. Count to ten, she thought desperately, This is what your classes are for. She took a shuddering breath, and turned slowly to face Ty. He let out a nervous chuckle.

“Surprise?” Ty approached her, his movements slow and careful. Amrin shot him a death glare, and he shrunk back.

“I-I mean, this could be a good thing! I’ve always wanted a pet. And dragons are pretty cool,” Ty rambled, pulling a roll of tinfoil out from behind his back and began tearing off strips. “Of course, you know that. Isn’t ‘The Differing Biology Between Draconem Subspecies’ the working title of your thesis paper?”

“I could have roomed with Dale. He’s reasonable, he wouldn’t destroy my home in ten minutes. Plus, he has brownie ancestry, so he’s a natural cook.” Amrin grumbled, twisting the leather cord around her wrist. “Or I could have stayed with Sylvia. She’s always travelling, I would essentially be living alone and paying half the rent.” Ty ignored her rambling.

“Maybe we could train him to be a guard-dragon, or something. He’s just a hatchling, so it would be a lot easier than adopting an older dog anyways!”

“We’ll have to return it to its mother.” Amrin crossed her arms. “It’s dangerous, and I don’t want to lose the damage deposit!” The bed shuddered and fell, gouging another foot through the wall.

“I can’t!” Ty wailed, throwing the tinfoil on top of the nest. “The mother just threw him through the window, and left him here!”

Amrin pinched the bridge of her nose. “Him? You’re getting attached.” She reached for her smartphone. “I’m calling conservation.”

“No! They’ll just put him in the wild, and he’s too small! He won’t last a week without help.”

“Not my problem.”

“Your therapist said a pet might help with your stress levels!” Ty tried. Amrin glared at him again.

“And I wish I hadn’t told you that.” Amrin begin dialling, but Ty snatched the phone out of her hands. Amrin stared at him in shock.

“Give me my phone.” She stepped forwards, but Ty backed away. He swallowed nervously, but shook his head.

“Not until you swear not to call conservation.” He took another few steps back. “We both know they’ve been swamped with the migration. What if there isn’t any room in the wildlife reservations?”

Amrin groaned. “Give it back, and I won’t force you to clean up the apartment. And I’ll let you fix my wreath.” Ty shook his head. Before he could respond, a quiet screech interrupted the argument. Both Amrin and Ty slowly turned to face the nest. Instead of the dented pot lid, a pale-green dragon was perched on the rim of the nest. It screeched again, and Amrin’s jaw dropped.

“That’s a Curled-Claw Green. Draconem Viridis. Do you know how rare those are?” Amrin exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Well, you’re kinda the dragon expert here, and I-”

“There’s only twelve known females in the wild, Ty. Twelve!”

“It’s not like I knew that when the mother-” The dragon screeched for a third time, wings unfurling. He was about the size of a kitten, the wings almost tripling his size. The pale-green scales decorating his body glittered in the light. The hatchling let out a warbling noise, and a small jet of flame shot from his mouth. Ty slowly stepped behind Amrin.

“How early do they learn to fly?” he asked, eyeing the hatchling.

Amrin was already approaching the nest, her hesitation forgotten. “A few weeks after hatching.” She pulled out her own wand; a thin, quartz rod with a silver handle reminiscent of a dagger. As Amrin whipped it through the air, a measuring tape sprouted from the end and laid itself flat on the dragon’s left wing.The hatchling made a confused, garbling croak.

Amrin stroked his head. “You’re a very pretty little guy, aren’t you?” she murmured. The measuring tape flew off of the dragon, and Amrin read it, frowning.

“I wonder how big his littermates are, if he’s the runt.” She stuffed it back into her pocket, turning to face Ty.

“Don’t you want to study this one? An actual dragon!” Amrin shook her head, dropping the wing reluctantly. What are you thinking? You can barely keep your boyfriend alive, how can you raise a fire-breathing death lizard?

“We can’t feed him.” she protested, but her heart wasn’t in it.

“We can get frozen mice for now, and we’ll just take him to the park once he’s too big for that.” Ty said persuasively. “Think of your thesis!” His eyes lit up, and Amrin’s heart sunk. I know that look...

“What about a deal?”

“A deal?”

“Yeah!” Ty began to pace, eyes not leaving the hatchling. “One week. We keep him for one week, and if I can’t convince you to keep him, we’ll call Conservation.” Amrin looked from the dragon back to Ty. This is a bad idea, she thought, There are so many ways this can go wrong.

“Please, Ammie?” Ty let his bottom lip tremble. Amrin let out a long sigh.

“One week. That’s it.” she sighed. Ty could not have smiled any wider.

“Thanks, Amrin! You won’t regret this!” He pulled her into a hug, and Amrin immediately wriggled free.

“Phone?” she held out her hand, and the smartphone was slapped into her open palm. Ty turned to the dragon, who was staring at the two mages, head tilted to the side.

“And next time, please ask before you wreck my wreath.” The dragon let out a shriek, making both mages jump.

“What was that for?” Ty grumbled. Amrin stared at the hatchling, comprehension slowly dawning.

“Wreath?” She called. The dragon croaked, and waddled over to lay at her feet.

Ty pouted, throwing his hands in the air. “Come on!”

“Wreath isn’t the worst dragon name in the world.” Amrin knelt and stroked the dragon’s head. The dragon nuzzled into her palm.

“It’s not great, either.” Ty frowned. “Maybe we can call him Wraith?”

“Wraith...I like it.” Amrin looked around at the destroyed room.

“I guess I’ll look at fire-proofing the apartment. You’ll have to talk to the landlord, see if you can negotiate a dragon into our contract.” Amrin carefully picked up Wraith, placing him back in the nest. “If we’re going to raise a dragon, we’re going to do it right.”

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