#i know its good and fine to be suspicious and ofc you should get the right product for the right price

[baekuras]

Had a customer repeatedly accuse us as a store of not being cheaper than others etc etc so much so that right now I decided to sit down and look at the actual, non contractual prices they’d have to pay if they went elsewhere or to the actual producer of the glasses

His wife paid about 400bucks for very thin high quality material, anti reflective coating, clear coat, hard coat, drive-safe filter, uv-filter, the whole anti fat/oil filters etc etc on them....because that’s premium glasses

Anyhow for similar ones (not drive-safe filtering but general blue light filtering) she would otherwise have paid about 680bucks

Her husband argued that she also paid less than 300 at times for her glasses (mind you she had like -5dpt on both eyes, is very much used to such prices especially considering she likes bigger metal frames, and her eyesight worsened by about 1dpt on both sides as well over the years compared to the glasses he was referring to)-which I had also shown him (I think it was about 230 or smth for what she had before which were also very good glasses but thicker and I simply wanted to offer her an even better option if she was interested) Like yeah-of course she doesn’t have to pay like 400bucks or something But if she wants all of this, and considering she has bad eyes, then I can’t just throw out a price of like 90bucks overall and expect premium material the math doesn’t math in this case friend

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 8: Dear Doppelganger

Pairing: Barry Allen x OFC  // Fandom: The Flash

Story Masterlist • Previous Stories: Rise Up • It Had To Be You 

Belén’s Masterlist • Fanfic • Ao3 

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​ @frostandflamesfanfic​​​​

"Coffee is actually very delicious," Anais happily sipped her cappuccino in her hands.

The others chuckled at her but ultimately Iris lowered the coffee cup from Anais' lips for fear of it burning her. "You should take it easy."

Anais' smile turned confused. "Yeah, I know humans have this obsession with 'watch what you eat' but my metabolism doesn't work the same way."

"I remember that," Barry smiled at the memory of when Earth 31's Anais took him to a coffee shop where she proceeded to eat a stack of pancakes, cupcakes and then his own meal. "You basically eat without worry."

Anais nodded and returned to her coffee and walked behind Caitlin who worked at the computers. "I don't have to run anymore, do I?" Anais eyed the speed lab with weariness. As part of her condition to remain on this Earth, the group wanted to study her - not prod - but simply get a better idea of who she was.

"No," Caitlin softly smiled at her. "You're all done for today."

"Thank you," Anais' face said all the annoyance she was hiding out of sheer politeness for their consideration. "So can I leave, then?"

"You still want to leave the city?" Barry asked, not doing a good job of hiding his disappointment.

Anais had expressed her desire to leave the moment she felt she had herself collected from her trauma. "I just...I had a team, and I don't think I'm ready for another one."

"Especially one that has the faces of two dead people…" Cisco could be heard mumbling behind them. When everyone turned to give him sharp looks, he meekly smiled.

"I swear I will never harm anyone - I just wanted asylum," Anais sighed. "And I will do every test you want but at the end of the day...will I be free to go?"

Barry looked at the others but of course none of them really knew what to say. He, on the other hand, would've liked for Anais to stay and fight with them. He never did learn if this earth had a version of Anais…

"You...of course are free," he ultimately said.

"Thank you," Anais gave him a small nod. She sipped her coffee until it gave its last drop. She shook the cup with a frown and groaned. "Iris, can we go back to Jitters again?"

With an amused smile, Iris nodded. "Sure. My treat." Anais beamed and followed her out.

"So...that's nice," Cisco remarked the trio was left in the lab. "Homegirl gives us the scare of our lives, lives in Caitlin's place for free and…"

"Cisco," Caitlin settled a look on him.

"I don't trust her," Cisco came out with it, earning himself a suspicious Barry on his side. "Look, I know that she stole my meta-dampener cuffs, alright? I know it's her." He just had no evidence.

Caitlin gulped and busied herself on the monitor, while also pulling her sleeves down.

"Cisco, why would she take those cuffs? It makes no sense," Barry tried to be reasonable with Cisco, something he wished Cisco would try. "She's an alien. Her powers didn't come from any dark matter."

"I don't know how aliens think!" Cisco threw his arms in the air. "All I know is that she pops up and a couple days later my devices are gone."

"Cisco—"

"I'll get her for it, don't worry," Cisco warned them as he backtracked out of the room. "I'll get her in the act!"

Barry sighed and glanced at Caitlin, but the woman had taken it serious to pretend to do her work. "Cait, you okay?"

"Hm?" the brunette blinked up from her screen. "Oh yeah, definitely."

"You sure you don't mind Anais staying with you? I know it's a little weird, but...she doesn't exactly want to be with her two dead friends' doppelgangers."

Caitlin smiled and shook her head. "It's fine. She's actually a very neat person. She doesn't speak too much, though. I think she's still trying to process the fact she's never going home."

"Yeah, well...I wish she'd let us help…"

"Sometimes, a person just needs to figure things out on their own," Caitlin offered a word of advice, but it just got Barry on another matter.

"Now I know you and Bells have been talking," his playful suspicious stare was still enough to put Caitlin on red alert. "She said she'd talk about whatever was bugging her by the end of the week - that was last week," and there Barry didn't attempt to hide his irritation. "Now this morning she woke up with the sudden idea to go somewhere because she needed to do things on her own. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"No…" Caitlin buried her attention on her computer again. The guilt was probably radiating off her by this point, especially since it had been because of her that Belén suddenly traveled in secret.

Barry would've pressed further if his cellphone hadn't gone off. "It's Joe. I'll see you later, okay?" Caitlin nodded him and thanked God he left without another question.

She pulled up her wrists and stared at the glowing dampeners around her wrists. Killer Frost was making her presence known and it was making her even more desperate. She didn't want her powers, she needed them to go away. She needed them siphoned.

And there was only one siphoner in this world…

~ 0 ~

A diner was the stop Belén was forced to make courtesy of one annoying woman who knew how to pick her battles. She sipped on a milkshake at the counter while she was waited for the rude tardy woman.

"Sam, can I get the usual?" A woman spoke from behind.

Belén stopped biting on her straw and gave the dark brunette woman all her attention. It wasn't for a good reason. She swallowed hard, unable to control her immediate reaction of seeing her own face reflected back. Every time she was face to face with her doppelganger Datura, it was to fight. Now here they were, sitting side by side at a local diner.

Datura did indeed have the same face as Belén, but there were a couple differences between the two. Where Belén styled ombre-blonde tips, Datura's hard was a darker brown with red tips. She dressed in darker clothes and the biggest difference? Her voice. She was always more authoritative than Belén, confident (for better or for worse).

"And here I thought I'd have to hunt you down," Belén muttered, taking a big sip of her milkshake. She instantly regretted it when a brain freeze came over her.

Datura snorted. "Can't believe you ever beat me."

"Believe it because that's why I have your powers and you have nothing."

Datura wagged her finger at her doppelganger. She turned her stool to face Belén, planting an elbow on the counter then her cheek on her palm. "Don't be fooled, Belén. I can still kick your ass."

"Okay, let's just skip all this," Belén snapped, turning her stool to face Datura. "You gave me your location." She was up and ready to hunt down Datura, just like she promised, but last night she got a text message from Datura herself asking to meet. "What's stopping me from taking you into the pipeline right now?"

Datura smirked. God, Belén hated that smirk. "Common interests," Datura answered. She snapped her fingers at the employee — Sam. The teenager handed her a vanilla milkshake. "You won't stuff me in the pipeline."

"You really think you don't deserve to be there right now? Along with your Poison Ivy partner?" Belén shook her head.

Datura took a small sip of her milkshake then set it down on the counter. "Oh, I deserved a lot better but I was screwed from the moment Harrison Wells turned on his stupid Particle Accelerator"

There, Belén hated the doppelganger was right. Datura was bestowed by an uncontrollable siphoning power that made her involuntarily kill Mrs. Andrews of Earth 2. It set her to run away and fake her death to her husband and her family. But Belén would never condone what she did on behalf of Zoom.

"He may have turned on the Accelerator, but you did the rest," Belén pointed out.

Datura scowled. "Things didn't work the way they did here after the Accelerator went off. I didn't get offered the help that this Wells did."

"You mean the speedster who murdered my father and Barry's mother? Yeah, because that offer was so much better."

Datura glared at Belén. "Look where you are right now, okay? Look at where I am. I can't go back to my Earth because I'll be arrested, so I can never see my Barry again. I can't see Poison Ivy here either. I have to hide for the rest of my days, especially because you and I share the same face. But you? You get to go home tonight."

~0~

Barry had come to the unfortunate news that Alchemy was once again striking the city, but very close to home this time.

"So I did have powers? I was Kid Flash?" Wally breathed a sigh of awe once he got confirmation. He knew those dreams didn't feel like dreams. He had actually been a hero. "I knew that this was happening. Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Wally, it, look... in that timeline, you were fighting The Rival," Barry wanted to word hid ending very carefully. "You couldn't stop him. There was no S.T.A.R. Labs. There was no team to help you. It was just you and Iris. The two of you were a brother-sister superhero crime-fighting team."

Hearing her name mentioned got Iris scowling. "Why didn't you tell us this before?"

Now there Barry knew he was not at fault. He'd be given then all the opportunity to know what their lives had been in Flashpoint and they refused. "You didn't want to know about your Flashpoint lives. But look," he looked at Wally again, "Listen to me, you got hurt, all right? You got hurt bad."

"So what?" Wally shrugged. "That's that me, it's not this me. And I want to be a speedster. I... I want to be a flash."

"No, no, no, you don't—"

"Yes, I do—"

"You're not hearing what he's saying. He's telling us it's not safe," Joe spoke up with the air of a parent, not that it mattered for Wally.

"Who cares what Barry's saying? How do we even know he's telling the truth?"

"Wally, come on, this isn't because of the particle accelerator, it's because of Dr. Alchemy," Iris wanted to keep the peace at least for a while. "It's the same thing that happened to Frankie Kane."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, we do. And we need to try to keep it from happening," Joe waited for Barry to give a solution for this.

"Why don't we just say what this is really about?" Wally began, the anger seeping through his teeth. "You're okay with Barry having powers; you're okay with Barry running into danger, fighting all these metas. He can screw up over and over again You're okay with all of it because he's Barry. But you won't give me the same amount of leeway because at the end of the day, you just don't trust me."

"You know that's not true, Wally," Barry tried to say but was shutdown.

"I don't need you fighting my dad's battles for him," Wally crossed his arms and waited for his father to speak. "Say it, Joe. You don't trust me, do you?"

Joe hated that everyone was staring at him. Hid mouth opened and closed several times. "Wally…"

"That's what I thought," Wally snapped and stormed out of the house.

~0~

Datura had herself an actual, thorough laugh when Belén told her of the situation the team was going through. "I warned you that Barry would do something like this." Belén glared deeply at the woman. "But anyways, now you've got Alchemy to deal with and metas from another world. That's more interesting, I'll be honest."

"Do you know who Alchemy is?" Belén tried her luck getting some honest information out of her doppelganger, but had very little hope it would succeed.

"No. But one thing I know is that he didn't exist in the other timeline. This is yet another consequence of changing the timelines."

"Here's the situation now," Belén dug inside her bag and pulled out a folder, to which Datura comically stared at, "Caitlin and I both acquired some of your powers and they are manifesting in ways we do not like."

"Hm, I bet," Datura's grin didn't exactly portray concern. "Are you hearing the voices?"

"Yeah, I heard them first," Belén answered just as she opened up the folder. Inside was a neat stack of papers she'd taken from her research and Harry's help. "I've narrowed down the victims that are now speaking to me, ordering me to do things." She spread about four different profile pictures of Earth 2 metahumans. "Terra—" she tapped the picture of a blonde woman, "—who controls earth elements. I broke someone's noise a couple days ago because she controlled me."

Datura laughed, slapping a hand to her forehead while Belén glared directly at her. "Terra was a clumsy idiot who I got from behind."

"Eclipsa," Belén then gestured to the silver-haired woman in the next photograph.

With her, Datura grew nostalgic and a bit frustrated. "I remember her. She's an interesting one considering she only came out at night, like a bat." She picked up the photograph and stared at it with contemplation. "Now she thought she could get away with stealing in Zoom's area so I had to end that. My only regret is that I never unlocked her full powers."

"Well, she's a quieter one," Belén remarked.

"She hardly spoke," Datura agreed and set down the photograph. "Made it a little harder to track her down."

"What about Flicker?" Belén picked up the brunette's profile picture. "She's the one I hear most."

"Yeah, I bet you do," Datura snickered. "She was a cocky one. She thought she could stop Zoom but Poison Ivy and I had something different to say."

"So, she was a good person?" Belén found it hard to believe considering all Flicker had done so far was push her to be impulsive.

"Oh yeah, she and Terra were good. I managed to get them both down," Datura said with the utmost pride. "But I bet after twisting and writhing in the back of the minds, they're not as happy as they once were."

"They are pushing me and making me lose control," Belén said. "I want to control them but I don't know how."

"There's no manual for this. Be glad you only got four of these people - I had dozens in my mind before Caitlin zapped me with her device."

"Three," Belén corrected, momentarily confusing Datura. "I only have three powers of yours. Caitlin has…" her eyes flickered to Killer Frost's profile, and when Datura followed she let out a long whistle.

"Well how's about that…" she grabbed Killer Frost's profile and turned it over to Belén. "The meta whose powers I wanted most. Now you gotta be careful with her. She's a sneaky one and probably the only one who can hurt a speedster."

"Caitlin isn't like me, she doesn't want to keep the powers. She wants to get rid of them. Do you...happen to know a way to do that?"

Datura raised an eyebrow, her lips forming a big smug smile when she finally realized the reason Belén made the unexpected visit. "You want me to siphon the power back."

"Caitlin does."

"Well, you're out of luck, sweetheart," Datura clicked her tongue. "Because as much as I would love to have that power back, I don't have the siphoning ability anymore. You can thank Caitlin for that," she ended with a bitter tone.

"What do you mean?" Belén blinked, now actually a little concerned.

"Caitlin's siphoning device shut away all the voices in my head, but at the same time it erased most of my powers - leaving me with only five plus my original power. I can't siphon anyone anymore."

Belén stared long at Datura, genuinely shocked to hear the news. "How long have you known…?"

"About a week after, I tried siphoning a teleporter," Datura smirked when Belén shot her an incredulous glare, "I thought maybe I could, at the very least, retire to Cabo or something. Turns out I couldn't."

"So…" Belén put a hand on her head, "...you don't siphon anymore and...you don't have most of your powers."

"All thanks to Dr. Caitlin Snow, feel free to pass that message on. Oh, and send her my regards about her situation," Datura laughed to herself and made to get up from her stool when Belén latched a hand onto Datura's wrist.

"You are going to stay right here and at the very least - since you can't help - you'll tell us how to control the powers!" Datura blinked in genuine surprise because Belén had made that order not alone, but joined by Flicker. "And if you don't then I'll just throw you inside the pipeline right now."

Belén gasped and released a shaky breath once she returned to normal. The fear on her face made Datura want to laugh probably for an hour straight. It was the revenge she didn't plan but would enjoy every second of the ride.

She sat back down and picked up a file to read

~ 0 ~

"I didn't take anything!" Anais' shout could be heard even before she entered the cortex. Her long blonde hair bounced with each hard step she took. "Stop accusing me without evidence!"

Caitlin, who sat at the desk, closed her eyes with guilt.

Cisco stormed in after Anais, fully intending on getting his devices back. "My evidence is that you have only been here a couple days and none of my work had ever disappeared up until then!"

Anais groaned and spun around, bumping into Cisco in the process. "I don't even know what I'm being accused of stealing."

"Meta-dampner cuffs! The same ones we need for when Barry catches the metahumans!"

"What would I even want with those?" Anais' looked lost of all causes.

"I don't know, you tell me!"

Anais' eyes glowed with a fiery orange, making Cisco take a step back and even Caitlin to rise from her chair. "I don't know anything!" Anais shouted.

"So when you get angry your eyes do that trick?" Cisco was momentarily curious about that.

Anais sighed and rolled her eyes. "You are unbelievable."

That got Cisco back on track. His eyes narrowed on the woman. "Well you are a thief and you're-"

But he never finished his insult. Barry had zipped in with the news of a new metahuman terrorizing the city. He handed Caitlin the evidence the precinct had so far of the metahuman so they could all come up with ideas first.

"He was killed by a shadow?" Cisco stared in disbelief at the profile picture of the victim Barry had dealt with earlier. "That's a new one."

"Maybe that's what killed Edward Clariss," Caitlin remarked since no one had yet to figure out how Clariss was murdered inside his cell.

"Clariss was a meta-human. This victim doesn't appear to be," Barry informed them, though he was still just as stumped as they were.

"Do we know if this shadow meta is from the particle accelerator explosion or from Dr. Alchemy?" asked Cisco.

"Dr. Who now?" Anais repeated, her eyes bouncing from one to the next.

"Did you do that on purpose?" Cisco suspicously squinted his eyes on her, but the woman remained blank.

"Do what?"

Caitlin put a hand on Cisco's arm to keep him from arguing once again. "Why don't we look at the evidence, alright?"

"Yeah...we actually haven't found any evidence to process yet…" Barry made a face at them.

"It's fine, we can use the security cameras," Caitlin smiled in return. "If he was attacked by a big shot company then they had to have caught the incident. Where was the crime scene at?"

"Chubbuck, uh, Palmer and Racine around 11:00 last night."

In about a minute she had found the camera that caught the metahuman and the victim. There they saw a shadow rising from the ground just behind the victim. Said shadow grasped the man by the neck and practically strangled him to death.

"That's gonna give me night terrors," Cisco blinked the video images away.

"Shade," Anais whispered, attracting the attention of the trio.

"You know it?" Barry thought to ask.

"U-um…" Anais' entire demeanor changed to fearful. She rubbed an arm with her hand and glanced at the screen again. "Th-there was a metahuman like that in my world. He was on the opposing side of the metahumans. He called himself Shade."

"What did he do, throw his side-eye at his enemies?" Cisco mumbled and received a nudge from Caitlin to settle down.

"The name was bad but his powers were good," Anais admitted. "But what Shade could do was vibrate at such a high frequency he created the illusion that he was a shadow. At least that's what the others said."

"It's how I phase…" Barry remarked to the side, though thinking they could work with that information. "Do you think he's doing the same thing?"

Cisco had taken a better look at the crime scene reports and figured they were right. "Heat signature's fluctuating. Red shift is ridiculous. So, definitely a yes."

"He must be slowing down his molecules whenever he attacks," Caitlin agreed. "So we just have to figure out a way to keep them slowed down, and that should be enough to grab him."

"All right, can you get started?" Barry moved over to the desk with a hopefulness that wasn't exactly matched by Cisco.

"Okay, but, like, right this minute?" he flickered glances to Anais, warning her their earlier disagreement was still not settled. She air-strangled him in return.

Barry was nonethewiser. "Yeah, I'm sor... we just... we gotta stop this guy fast so we can focus on Alchemy. Wally has been having dreams about being a speedster, Alchemy dreams."

"He was a speedster in Flashpoint?" Cisco paused. "Anyone else gonna have powers we should know about?"

"No…." Barry hoped.

"All right. I'm gonna work on Shade," Cisco turned but then stopped to point at Anais."And you girl have until the end of the day to return my cuffs or I'll vibe you back to Earth 19!"

"But I didn't take anything!" Anais exclaimed with frustration.

"Don't worry about that," Barry told her and noted to have a serious talk with Cisco to get him to drop the ridiculous notion of Anais being a thief.

Caitlin had pretty much the same intention.

~0~

Caitlin lightly cleared her throat as she walked into Cisco's workroom. The man smiled at her and put down his water glass.

"Cisco, Anais didn't take your cuffs," she said meekly.

"Cait, you don't need to lie for her," Cisco turned from his computer. "I get that Barry just automatically trusts her because of the freaky adoptive daughter doppelganger complex but I know she's a thief."

"She's not," Caitlin sighed and pulled up her sleeves to reveal the cuffs. "Because I took your cuffs."

Cisco paused to show utter confusion. "What for?"

"Because I need them," Caitlin dropped the cuffs on his desk.

"Is... is this some sort of, um, bold fashion choice 'cause you're not a meta-hu... hu…" Cisco's eyes widened till they almost popped from his head when Caitlin's hands hid behind icy smoke, "...human."

She grabbed his glass of water of crystallized it with ease. "Surprise…"

Cisco's mouth could have fallen to the floor at this point. "H-how…?"

"The siphoning device I made for Datura transferred Killer Frost's powers to me. It changed my DNA," Caitlin felt almost like crying because this was the fact of her life now. It was a terrible, fear worthy fact. "I have tried everything to reverse it - I even went to my own mother - and there's nothing that anyone can do. At least here."

Cisco popped his mouth back shut. "Here? What—"

"Belén is visiting her doppelganger to see if she can siphon them back," Caitlin admitted.

"She's-she's with Datura? You know where she is!?"

"No, but Belén does right now. She went to ask Datura if she could take these powers back."

"Caitlin…" Cisco really had no words of comfort. He probably felt a similar fear of Caitlin's. Earth 2 Killer Frost was no joke. She was ruthless and...evil.

"I need a favor. I need you to vibe me in the future because I need to know if I become... her," Caitlin asked. "If Datura can't help then I need to know where these powers are going to lead me."

"You're not gonna become her," Cisco immediately refused the idea. "Okay, just because you have these powers doesn't mean you're gonna turn into Killer Frost."

"I hear her voice, Cisco, her actual voice inside my head," Caitlin shook her own. "She wants to come out and control me. Please? I need to know if I become evil because if I do, I have to leave and never come back."

Cisco looked at her hand waiting to be vibed. As much as he hated it, he followed and joined hands with her. He closed his eyes and focused on...Killer Frost.

The scene around him changed to that of a city - the city's square perhaps? An icicle shot directly past him, making him turn to see Caitlin...as Killer Frost, threatening to shoot another one. Familiar vibe energy surged past him, trying to get her. Very slowly, he turned back and saw himself being the one to fight her. Not just that, however, he noted an ongoing fight around them with familiar people…

The vibe image disappeared before him. Caitlin waited with pure hope. "And?"

Cisco knew he couldn't say what he saw. For the most part, he didn't even understand who was fighting nor why. Caitlin could not become evil, it just didn't go. "I didn't see anything." Caitlin released a relieved sigh. "You're fine."

Caitlin threw her arms around him for a hug. "Oh, thank you. Thank you!"

Cisco hugged her back, incredible guilt. He would have to speak with Belén when she returned. The future could not be that.

Caitlin pulled away from Cisco and happily sighed. "Please, um, don't tell anyone about this yet, okay?"

"Of course," Cisco nodded and gulped when she wasn't looking.

~ 0 ~

Belén was led into a clean apartment belonging to Datura and sniffed her nose when the scent of a familiar poison hit her. "Daturas?"

There were bouquets of daturas sitting around the living room and possibly the kitchen. "It's my trademark," Datura waved a hand at her doppelganger.

"How on earth did you get an apartment?" Belén was flabbergasted with the sight. "And how are you keeping it normal and not like a lair?"

"Did I mention my psychic abilities are reaching to astral projections?" Datura gave a brief smirk. "Illusions. Now say you're proud of me for being a diligent civilian of this city, not that you gave me much of a choice."

"Please, I didn't make you do all this," Belén moved over to the closed window and looked down at the busy city. "You tried to escape once and you haven't made another attempt? You could be out there again trying to kill people - me for starters - and yet you're here, living a clean apartment."

"Please skip the whole part about redemption, I don't need it," Datura rolled her eyes. "You, on the other hand, need all the help you can get. The voices - how far apart are they?"

"They're...they're coming usually when I'm fighting," Belén leaned her head against the window, eyes following people walking by the building. "Telling me to stop being pathetic and fight back."

"Because the more you fight, the more active your brain is looking for strategies to win the battle. All that action makes the brain more susceptible to be taken over by the other metas."

"How do I make them stop?"

Datura's short laugh irritated the hell out of Belén. "If I knew how to stop those voices, I wouldn't be here, would I?" she gestured to her current situation. "The voices is how it starts. They consume you until they get the power to come and go."

"I don't believe that, I'm not gonna let that happen!" Belén snapped and detached herself from the window. "Caitlin will—"

"Is already on the way to losing herself," Datura cut her off, shrugging her shoulders. "The only question here is who will lose it first: you or her?"

"If you firmly believed all this then you wouldn't have brought me here," Belén stalked towards her doppelganger, pointed finger at her. "So tell me what it is."

Datura pretended to play with one of her curls for a minute or so. "Well...I may have some resources…" Belén smacked her hand off her hair, once again close to losing it to another meta in her head. "What? I can make friends."

Belén scoffed. "I doubt it."

"I did," Datura assured, "And you'll like her because she can be useful. Her entire family has built a fortune on engineering things. You might have hard of them."

"Who is she?"

"Lena Luthor."

"Wait…" Belén backtracked a couple steps, her eyes flickering to the side in thought, "Is she related to that delirious Lex Luthor?"

"Oh yeah, but she's actually one of the good people in that family. Let me talk to her, ask her what can be done about this situation," Datura walked past Belén. "She's a smart cookie that one - knew I was a meta even before I thought to tell her."

"She knows about you and me…?"

"No," Datura stopped by one of her datura boquets. "To her I'm simply Belle. But here's the deal—" she turned sideways, "—that I'm going to make and you're going to follow. Caitlin's powers? I'll gladly take them back if and when we create a device to siphon the DNA. But in return, I also want the powers you stole from me."

"I didn't steal—" Belén was on her way to shout when Datura waved a hand for her to stop.

"I am the siphoner here, those were my powers—"

"That you murdered people for!" Belén exclaimed. "Did you forge that part!?"

"Either way they were mine!" Datura overspoke her doppelganger. "And that is what I want in return! My powers - the ones you have and the ones Caitlin have - I want them back!"

"And then what? You want to me break Poison Ivy out of her prison so you and her can continue on your crime sprees?"

Datura rolled her eyes. "I want my powers back. I won't return to my ways but I want to be the Siphoner again. That's my condition. Will you help your dear Caitlin?" she pretended to pout.

Belén crossed her arms, a part of her dead angry she would be forced to give up these new powers she would have liked to keep...but the other part knew Caitlin needed this. She wanted to get rid of the powers because she was afraid. Belén never wanted to stand in the way of that. "Fine," she spat. "But the moment I get word of a crime you make - no matter how small - I will come for you. "

Datura's lips stretched into a wide smirk. "I'll call Lena."

~ 0 ~

Wally wearily looked at Caitlin as she finally backed off from her medical exams and hoped they were finally finished. Iris was right beside him, giving him support as he explained to the others what caused him to collapse at the precinct.

"I was Kid Flash again, but this time it wasn't a good dream. I was fighting The Rival at some abandoned sawmill…" he scrunched his eyes shut as the memories flew back into his mind again. At least this time, they were painless.

"That's what happened in Flashpoint before you got hurt," Barry sighed. "They're not just dreams, they must be memories of that life. More and more people are getting powers."

"And that's because of this Alchemy guy?" Anais had taken a seat on the railing itself of the speed lab stairs. "That's his power?"

"Apparently so," Joe mumbled, none too happy this situation was actually reaching his son.

"Okay, so how do we stop this?" Iris wondered.

"I mean, is there any stopping it even?" Cisco said just a bit too quick, earning himself a glance from Caitlin. "If Alchemy could reach you at CCPD, he could probably reach you from anywhere, right?"

"Maybe not in the pipeline," Caitlin offered as an alternative.

"You want to lock him up?" Joe gave her a look.

"I'm just saying maybe the pipeline could be a safety net," Caitlin elaborated. "If Alchemy tries to get him to come to him…"

"In the pipeline he wouldn't be able to," Iris saw where she was going with and agreed.

"I think that's a good idea," Wally admitted.

"I'm gonna cancel this movie with Cecile," Joe had enough wit the situation and turned to go call Cecile.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, wait, wait, you've got a date with Cecile?" Iris' voice pulled him back to the group.

"Yeah, I was gonna bring her to the movie in the park tonight…"

"Well, don't not go. You've put your life on hold for us long enough!"

"Yeah, Dad, she's right, I mean, go be Joe West; you're always Dad," Wally gave him a smile.

"Yeah, we'll stay with Wally, and make sure nothing happens," Barry added on had the agreement of the others.

"I told her all of you were coming with me. Am I gonna be the only one that shows up?" Joe made a face.

"Uh, I would love to see a movie!" Cisco jumped in just a bit too fast. Caitlin knew now something was definitely up. Cisco hurried up to Joe, however. "What movie is this?"

"The Shining."

Cisco clapped his hands together, hiding the strain behind a smile. "The Shining, oh, I love that movie."

Barry shot him a look. "That movie freaks you out. You have never made it past the part with the Grady twins."

"That's... that's... that was... I was younger," Cisco hoped he would just shut up and let him leave.

Caitlin cleared her throat and slowly stepped towards him. "Why don't I go with you?"

Damn, so close. Cisco lowered his hands and looked at the others. "You sure you don't want stay…?"

Caitlin shook her head. "No, I want to be with you."

"Either way, the more the merrier," Joe shrugged. "Let's do it. Wally, keep me posted?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Wally assured him even though he wasn't quite...certain. "Just go have fun. That's great."

~ 0 ~

The sun was just beginning to set down at the park when the group trudged into the field. Joe had already left with Cecile and left the seating arrangement to Cisco. Caitlin watched him like a hawk as they set up their seats. Cisco was practically doing everything in his power not to touch nor look at Caitlin.

"Alright, Cisco," she finally stopped him when she had enough. "What's going on?"

"Hm?" Cisco blinked and rapidly tried looking for something else that needed to be set up.

"You've been on edge ever since you vibed me. Are you gonna tell me what you saw?"

"I told you...what I saw…"

"Yes, and that lasted all for but a minute until you started acting strange. I can tell when you're not being honest with me. Am I her?"

Cisco now knew there was no getting around the truth. He swallowed hard and gave a nod of his head. "Yeah, you're her. I... I saw the both of us fighting in the middle of this bigger fight. We were, like, full-on Vibe versus Killer Frost. It's like we're meta-frenemies."

Caitlin slowly looked down, particularly at her palms. "Well, have you ever vibed anything from the future that didn't come true?"

"Just Earth-2 being ripped to shreds. But that doesn't mean that can't happen again…." he walked up to her and got her gaze off her palms. "Caitlin, you have to tell them. You have to tell the team. We have to figure out what's going on—"

"No," Caitlin immediately refused. "No. It's too late. There's nothing you can do. And if Belén can't get Datura to help then...I'm leaving."

~ 0 ~

Anais felt someone walking into the cortex and looked away from Belén's and Barry's suits on display. She found only Barry coming in.

"Iris went to go check on Wally, but, uh...are you okay?" Barry knew that question was hardly going to be answered. Anais had been hearing it ever since she got there.

Anais gave a meek shrug. "I...it's difficult," she left it at that and turned back to the suits. "So you and her...you're heroes too, huh?"

"Uh, partners, but yeah," Barry came to stand beside her. "And then there's Nina."

"Back on my Earth, there was no Tempest," Anais admitted. "It was...just different."

"Well maybe, stick around and you can feel at home…"

Anais shook her head, giving him a sad smile. "That's just it, I can't. I can't ever feel like I'm at home because it's not. Because on this world, most of my friends are alive. Do you know how hard it is to look at you and Belén and not remember that...you're dead? You're plain dead. And that it was my fault."

Barry could somewhat understand that. He thought of his father and Jay Garrick - the first time he'd seen Jay's face...he nearly broke down. And it was a good part of the reason why he went back to change the timeline. He couldn't take it.

"I have nothing against you nor this team Barry, but asking me to stay...it's just incredibly painful," Anais crossed her arms and glanced at the suits. "I lost everyone back there...I need time to heal."

"You need time to yourself," Barry understood that. That had been his original plan too…

At least Anais was just going through it in a better way.

"Can you just do us one favor?"

Anais gave a nod. "Sure?"

"Don't disappear on us."

Anais smiled, thinking that wasn't too much to ask. "Okay."

"Wally is doing okay," Iris came into the cortex but not alone.

Belén had returned and was more or less confused by the fact Wally was in the pipeline. "What did I miss?"

Barry moved over to greet her with a hug. He didn't realize how much he missed her until then. She had been radio silent all day and that was unlike her. "Where have you been?"

"I told you, I just needed to do something," she smiled up at him.

But 'what' was the question Barry was itching to ask. He just didn't get the chance to ask because the alarms went off. They hurried back to the desk and Barry got the location off Cisco's metahuman alert.

"It's Shade! He's at Hofherr Park," he looked up.

"Shade? Who's Shade?" Belén blinked.

"No time, just stay here, okay?" Barry didn't necessarily give her the chance to think about it. He sped for his suit then left.

"Well, thank you for your consideration," Belén bitterly sat back down on a chair.

At the same time, they heard Wally through the pipeline security feed scream in pain. Iris quickly called to him but since he wouldn't respond, she dashed out of the cortex.

"What is going on!?" Belén was left to shout.

"It's that Alchemy guys you keep talking about," Anais hurried to the desk. Belén was not going to sit there cluelessly. She tried getting in contact with the others.

~ 0 ~

At the park, Cisco and Caitlin had already gotten into the STAR Labs van to help Barry outside. They received Belén's incoming demands to know what was going on and how she could help.

"Shadow man! Literally shadow man, Bells!" Cisco exclaimed. "He's going—" but he stopped when he and Caitlin witnessed Barry be thrown up and down like a ragdoll.

"Ouch," Caitlin said with eyes screwed shut.

"Attaching the security cameras was a more or less interesting idea," Cisco muttered. "Barry, we're in the van. Can you hear us?"

The speedster pulled himself back to his feet but stumbled around for a bit after the fall. "And I just got tossed on my ass like a rag doll…" he shook his head and tried to find the Shadow meta again. "Alright, guys, I cannot do anything if I can't see him. Can we light this place up?"

"Light's gonna slow down his molecular vibration so we can catch him," Cisco remembered.

"How are we gonna light this place up?" Caitlin asked since Shade had turned down nearly every street post lamp.

Belén, in the cortex, looked up from the computers to Anais. "We might have a way…"

"I…" Anais' widened eyes looked around, "...I'm not sure…"

"You're a hero, you've proved it to be since you got here. Just...do what you do best. Light things up, girl," Belén encouragingly smiled at her.

~ 0 ~

"What are you doing?" Cisco saw Caitlin pulling the dampener cuffs off her wrists.

"He's gonna need these," Caitlin said and hurriedly got out of the car.

In the park, Barry was unable to catch sight of Shade. "Just...I guess...wait for my mark…" he dreaded exactly what that meant and muttered, "And by mark, I do mean next time that I get punched." He heard a noise behind and whirled around only to get punched right across the face just like he predicted. "Mark…"

"Let's turn on the lights, shall we?" Anais swooped down from the sky, putting her hands together in the process. She raised them above her head and created a bowl of bright light which was then shot up. It illuminated the entire area and forced Shade to dissolve into his human form.

"Flash!" Caitlin came running into the scene. She tossed him the dampeners and he quickly got them on the meta.

Anais lowered herself to the ground, her orange cape slowly waving to a stop. "Are you okay?" she came running to Barry.

"Yeah, yeah, just fine," Barry sucked in a breath and turned to the two women. "We need to get him to Iron Heights."

"Guys?" they heard Belén, except Caitlin. "Wally's acting...Alchemy-possessed-like…"

~ 0 ~

Wally's body was transferred to one of the side rooms of the cortex after being put down by Iris and Belén.

"Wally wasn't himself. He was possessed," Iris explained to the others. "Alchemy was calling for him."

"I knew I shouldn't have left," Joe shook his head and put a hand down on Wally's shoulder.

"It's okay, Joe, nothing happened," Barry said, although they all knew that wasn't exactly the truth.

"He's not okay, Barry. This thing's coming after him, and... and there ain't a damn thing we can do?"

"Well, we stopped Shade. And now we can focus on Alchemy, all right?"

"Unless he sends another meta to Central City to attack. Then there'll be trouble," Anais blurted and received some worrisome looks. "Sorry. I just...The opposing side did that a lot on my Earth."

"You think Shade was a distraction?" Belén wondered out loud. It wouldn't be the first time they'd fallen for a trick like that.

"If that's true, that means Alchemy's gonna sending another one of his metas soon," Joe dreaded.

"We don't know that…"

"Barry, we found six husks. So besides Shade, Magenta, and Clariss, there's still three unaccounted for."

"Okay, well, if more come, then we'll stop them," Barry was just running on the short-presence time and it was failing. "But Alchemy can't get Wally if he stays in the cell."

"Barry, we can't just let Wally suffer in there. And besides, burying our head in the sand is not gonna make Alchemy go away."

"Ignoring the problem does not get rid of it," Cisco said, somewhat distant yet eyes on Caitlin. "You're gonna have to face it."

Caitlin could not believe he was actually intending on doing this. "Cisco…"

"What?" Barry looked between the two.

"Nothing," Caitlin waved him off but Cisco came towards her.

"Come on, Caitlin…"

"Not right now, Cisco!"

Belén blinked, her heart beating fast as she started to make assumptions. Had Caitlin…

"I... just... I can't just keep this in. You have to tell them!" Cisco exclaimed.

"Tell them what?" Barry watched Caitlin nearly go red in the face from anger.

The brunette snapped the dampener cuffs off her wrists. "That I have powers," she snapped.

"What kind of powers?" Iris asked.

Caitlin turned her palms over and allowed the ice to smoke over. "The cold kind."

Everyone gaped, but Barry let his head hang. Belén, on the other hand, was dreading what else Cisco knew.

Caitlin shook her head at Cisco. "Happy now?"

"So, what, we're just gonna keep secrets from each other?" Cisco wondered about it but not enough.

"Yeah, well, this wasn't your secret to tell, was it, Cisco?" Caitlin gritted her teeth together.

"I did that because I care about you," Cisco tried to explain but Caitlin waved her hand at him.

"If you cared about me, then you would have let me tell them all when I was ready. Because this is happening to me, not you!" Caitlin got more worked up the more she thought about. "I'm the one turning evil! I'm the one who's gonna have to leave soon!" she stormed out of there.

"Cisco...how did...how did you…?" Belén slowly, and very cautiously, moved to him.

"I vibed the two of us fighting each other in the future," Cisco revealed, the images still haunting him like a nightmare. "She was Killer Frost."

"No, she's...she's not going to be," Belén put a hand on his arm, but he shook it off and received a rather accusing look.

"And you knew!"

The woman pulled her hand back and let her eyes widened. "I—"

"You knew and you didn't make her tell us so that we could help her!"

"Bells, is that true?" Barry was stunned, possibly even more so. However, that began to make sense out of every strange thing happening between the two women.

"Even if it is, like Caitlin said - it wasn't my secret to tell," Belén snapped and sent Cisco an equally-charged glare. "No one has the right to disclose something that doesn't belong to them!"

Get angry, more angry!

A light gasp slipped through Belén's lips. "I gotta go!"

"No - Belén!" Barry called after her but she waved him off too and stormed out of the cortex.

~ 0 ~

Caitlin was in the middle of putting back the dampeners on her wrists when Barry walked into the room. "I didn't mean to pull Belén into this," Caitlin said, though she would probably have to tell that to Belén herself.

"Uh, yeah no she doesn't want to talk to Cisco, specifically," Barry cleared his throat and took a seat across Caitlin. "How long have you known?"

Caitlin bit her lip, putting one hand against her cheek. "I...it was just after we took down Zoom and Datura. The-the siphoning device I made, it...it accidentally transferred Killer Frost's powers."

"Cait...I'm sorry," Barry ran a hand through his hair. "I don't...I don't know if that was how it was supposed to be, I…I don't remember that happening in the other timeline."

Caitlin lowered her head. "We figured that, trust me."

"Caitlin, I'm so sorry." Barry didn't know what else he could say, much less do, to help Caitlin. This was truly his fault. "I've changed everyone's lives and brought in new dangers. Dr. Alchemy. Wally. You getting powers. Even Dante being dead in this timeline. It's all because I created Flashpoint."

"Hey," Iris poked her head into the room, "Wally's up."

The group regathered in the side room where Wally was now wide awake. Belén and Cisco stood across from each other, neither looking at each other.

"You have to use me," Wally was telling them. "Alchemy is calling me to him, so use me."

"Hell no," Joe wondered if being punched by Iris had put Wally into a different state.

"C'mon dad! Follow me wherever he is, and we can stop him!"

"But sorry for my interjection here—" Anais cleared her throat, "—because...do any of you know how to take down this guy?"

"We hardly ever do," Belén patted her arm down.

Wally yelped when he heard Alchemy's voice once again seething in his mind. It was as if someone scratched glass back and forth against another."He wants me! He's hurting me!" he writhed in pain.

Find me, Alchemy called.

Wally's entire body wriggled with no stop. Caitlin hurriedly ran to one of the desks. "Turn him on his side!"

Joe and Barry both moved Wally on his side just as she returned with a needle in hand. "This should help! It's a mild sedative," she told them just as she injected it into Wally.

"What is that?" Cisco asked her.

"Lorazepam. It works on seizures. Hopefully it'll work on whatever this is."

"These episodes keep happening more frequently," Iris remarked once she got to thinking about it.

"Yeah, and this is just a temporary fix. If we don't stop it too, he could suffer from permanent brain damage," Caitlin warned them. Keeping Wally in the pipeline would definitely not help in the long run.

"So then we don't have a choice. We have to do what Wally wanted; we have to use him to find Alchemy," Joe sighed.

"No, we're no... it's too dangerous," Barry wanted to argue more about it but there really wasn't another option.

"So is doing nothing," Joe countered.

"Need I remind everyone that Dr. Alchemy has a rock that shoots lasers, so who knows what he has up his sleeve?" Cisco cleared his throat, hoping that would be taken into consideration.

"Cisco's right. What if we're walking into a trap?" Iris thought that was logical.

"You guys aren't walking into anything. You guys are gonna stay here," Joe warned her along with the others. "If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that if I'm gonna put Wally at risk, I'm gonna use everything in my power to protect him."

~ 0 ~

"You don't have to help," Belén came over to Anais, both dressed in their suits.

Anais shook her head. "I have dealt with possibly every metahuman on my Earth except for a Dr. Alchemy. I'm a little curious, honestly."

"Well then, thanks," Belén chuckled. The more backup they had, the better.

Both turned just as Barry came into the cortex, also dressed to go. "The police are ready."

"Well, which one of you is going to give me the lift?" Belén looked between the two speedsters curiously."

Anais apologetically smiled. "I don't do lifts...sorry…"

"It's not like I weigh much," Belén mumbled as she moved towards Barry instead.

Barry took the lead by hand and purposely pulled Belén a little quicker towards the elevator. "I talked to Cait…" He started, watching Belén's immediate reaction. She seemed nervous.

"Did she say something?" Belén swallowed hard.

"Uh, no, just...she's just very scared," Barry said, wondering when, oh when, would Belén get the courage to tell him the missing part of the story.

~ 0 ~

An old abandoned subway was where Wally ended up bringing the police and the three heroes. Wally entered first and soon spotted several cloaked men on their knees, surrounding one cloaked figure who stood on their feet. Wally gulped when the standing figure turned around and revealed a golden metal mask underneath the hood.

"Hello, Wally," Alchemy greeted but Wally's eyes flickered rapidly to one thing and the next, eventually landing on the white-glowing stone set on a rock pillar behind Alchemy.

"Are you him? Are you the voice I've been hearing inside my head?"

I am Alchemy."

"I've been having visions of another life. Where... where I have speed, where, I'm…" Wally slowly made his way around the figures, acting awed as he took in the cloaked followers. "The Flash."

"I can give you that back, should you desire it."

"I just want the pain to stop."

"It will, child. Whatever you desire, I will see it so. Now tell me, do you wish for the life that was taken from you to return?"

"What I wish for... is all of you gone," Wally's smirk said it all.

"It's a trap!" Alchemy shouted at his followers. The figures rose and tried to make an escape, one of them even pulling a knife and going towards Wally.

Both Anais and Barry sped into the room and began tying some of the followers up. Belén, on the other hand, swooped in as vines and rose in her figure. Vines shot out of each of her palms, smacking two followers against the walls. Anais easily grabbed one follower by the arm and turned him over like a pancake.

"Child's play," she smugly said then reached out for another to do the same.

Barry went straight for the Alchemy. A mere second before he reached Alchemy, the cloaked figure drew the stone on the rock pillar through telekinesis and immediately used its light beam against Barry.

"The boy has been chosen, Flash. And you will not stand before what must be...ever again!" Alchemy hadn't given Barry the opportunity to get up and fight back. Each beam of energy struck him and raged pain in his body.

A bullet shot and knocked the stone out of Alchemy's hand. Joe and his backup had gotten through and helped put the followers all on their knees.

"That was a grave mistake," Alchemy warned them despite their situation.

"You weren't kidding when you said it was a monk," Anais remarked to Belén when the two women circled the followers.

"What do you want?" Belén couldn't help but ask Alchemy straight up.

"I'm simply preparing the world."

"We had a premonition guy like that back on my Earth - spoilers, they lost," Anais smirked.

"It's over Alchemy," Barry came towards them, a little wobbly on his feet but he knew he would heal.

"Over? You have no idea what's about to begin," Alchemy's voice drawled with exceptional condescension. Right after, there was a rumble underneath everyone's feet, rocking them to the side.

For a second, Belén wondered if it was somehow her who was losing herself to the powers. But she didn't feel at a loss...nor did she hear the voices…

Suddenly, Alchemy and his followers dispersed around the room just as a white light struck. Barry saw it zigzag around the room, hitting one thing and causing another to fall and crash.

"Are you guys seeing that?" Barry followed it, whirling around as it cross over him.

"It's a...light…" Anais' own hands glowed with light energy ready to make an attack if need be. However, it appeared only she and Barry were able to see the light.

"What's going on?" Belén looked around cluelessly. All she saw were things crashing but nothing that would cause it. "What is it?"

The light made its way across the police-force Joe brought and started sweeping through them like ragdolls.

"Go!" Barry shouted at the others frantically. "Get the hell out of here!"

Joe cocked his gun to whatever the light was - not that he could see it - and pulled Wally towards the doors. "Wally, move towards the door! Stick with me!"

The three heroes tried to keep track of what exactly was going through them, but every time they blinked one new co-worker was taken down.

"What is that!?" Belén screamed, her hands reaching to her head. Attack. Attack them! Now! "Not now!" she scrunched her face. She already risked herself with Anais who thankfully hadn't taken notice of her powers switching from earth manipulation to botany but a second time was sure to raise some suspicions.

Barry yelled as he was suddenly swept off his feet and thrown across the room. Joe ran over to help him up.

'Wallace' Alchemy's voice rang inside Wally's head. 'Wallace West. Take your power.'

Anais began taking her shots at the light but with no success. This was far beyond what she dealt with on her Earth.

"Wally!" Joe spotted his son nearing the stone left behind on the floor.

"Wally, don't!" Barry groaned and tried getting up. "Azalea, stop him!"

Let them take it. Fight back! Belén couldn't hear anything but the swirl of voices in her head telling her to act against her own friends.

Wally walked right past her and grabbed the stone. As soon as he touched it, a cocoon encased him from top to bottom.

"NO!" Joe screamed.

Barry's body was swooped right beside him and pinned against the wall, high up by an invisible force in Joe's and Belén's perspective. For Barry and Anais, however, there stood a metallic suited (presumably) meta glowing blue.

"Who are you?" Barry could barely breathe the words out from the metallic hand clawing his neck tight.

"The God of Speed," the metallic figure raised its free armed hand to unsheathe blade.

[floorbe]

Kazuichi, Byakuya, Shuichi, Nagito, Hajime, Taka, Sonia & Mondo headcanons with a partner who is the Ultimate Dreamer? As in they have a HUGE imagination and creativity. They always ramble about ideas, are easily distracted/zone out a lot and get very emotional when an idea for a story or art piece doesn't go according to plan? I know that's a lot of people so you don't have to do them all, i'm sorry

ofc!! its not too many ppl at all, dw!!!

~

Kazuichi Souda

-He’s right on your wavelength!

-He’s got a crazy amount of creativity, too, so he’s right there with you and egging on your ideas!!

-He even adds on to them if you want! He’s got a lot of suggestions for everything

-He also asks for suggestions from you when he’s blocked for ideas on what to build/examine next

-At first he’s kind of offended when you keep getting distracted while he’s talking, but once he realizes it doesn’t mean you’re not interested, he’s cool!

-Has no problem repeating what he said, even if he has to do it twenty times in one conversation

-Kazuichi can completely empathize with getting emotional when something doesn’t turn out right

-He gets the same way when it’s his own creations, so he knows exactly how you feel and how to help

-“Hey, Y/N, don’t worry about it, okay?! We can always try again! Plus, I think this turned out pretty damn cool, anyway...” 

-He’s always encouraging you and complimenting all of your works, even the ones you don’t think are up to par. And he genuinely means everything he says

-You can count on him to always be there to motivate you to try again or move onto the next project

Byakuya Togami

-He’s honestly really impressed with how creative you are

-You’ll probably never know genuinely how much, because the most he’ll say is a “That’s quite an idea, Y/N” 

-He’s going to get frustrated at first if you zone out often, so bear with him as he gets over himself a bit

-Once he does get more used to it, he’ll just sigh and repeat what he said. It isn’t much better than before, but at least he’s not rolling his eyes with a snarky reply anymore

-He kind of... nitpicks your ideas? He doesn’t mean it in a harmful way, he just wants to add on in his own way. He’ll add on his own suggestions for a more practical and successful approach

-He’s actually a pretty good listener, though you’ll mostly get hums and grunts as responses as he doesn’t have much to add onto your thoughts

-If you’re a writer, he’s fully willing to proof read your stuff! He won’t say that, of course, but you can tell by how quickly he gives in when you ask him

-When you get emotional that something didn’t go right, he’ll walk past you and take a look at it himself

-“...This turned out well, Y/N. Our minds expectations are always higher than what we can accomplish; or, you’re your own worst critic, as they say.” 

Shuichi Saihara

-He’s amazed with how many ideas you have?? It seems like you never run out, and he’s so interested in hearing every one

-He doesn’t really have much to add on (and he kinda feels like he’s imposing by suggesting stuff) but if you ask he’s more than happy to give his own thoughts!

-Doesn’t mind you zoning out at all! He actually starts picking up on the signs that you are and either 1. catches your attention again or 2. gives you a minute before going on

-When you start getting emotional over something that didn’t turn out quite right, he’s right there beside you to ride it out with you

-“I-I think it’s amazing, Y/N, really!” and he does! But he knows what it’s like to not meet your own expectations, so he tries his best to be there for you

-And when you eventually pick up the motivation to start a new piece/work on your project again, he’s right there supporting you

Nagito Komaeda

-He’s astounded by how many ideas you have, and he wants to know about every single one

-This man is one of the best listeners you’ll ever meet

-He’s dead silent while you talk unless you want him to add stuff in or ask questions, in which he’s got you, too!

-He loves watching you work, and will gladly sit by you for hours just chilling

-Doesn’t mind at all if you zone out, but he may take it way too personally in a self hatred way, so make sure to reassure him it’s not because of him

-He’s so, so supportive of everything you make!

-He really does not understand how you could think that something didn’t turn out well, because “everything you do is amazing, my love!” 

-He’s got so many compliments for every project you work on. It’s almost too much, but later on in the relationship he knows when to pull back

-If you’re a painter, he’d love to paint with you!! He has no qualms about getting messy, and he loves spending time with you!

Hajime Hinata

-He loves listening to all of your thoughts and ideas!!

-Secretly kinda jealous of how big your imagination is, but he won’t tell you that

-He doesn’t have much to weigh in tbh, he just likes listening, but he’ll give suggestions if you want!

-Tbh he zones out a lot, too, so he totally understands you! He’ll just gently snap your attention back if you ask him to!

-He’s also right by your side when he sees you start to get emotional over a project

-He tries his best to comfort you, mostly by complimenting the piece in question and reassuring you it looks great (and it does!)

-He’ll stick to just comforting you if you don’t want any compliments, tho. He’s a great hugger!

-If you draw, sometimes you’ll catch him sketching in his own little book after watching you draw. He only lets you catch a glimpse of it before he shuts it, but it looked... suspiciously like you? 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

-This man admires you so, so much. He has so much respect for you

-He’s not really an art person, so if your projects are art based he is so enamored by it! If you’ll let him, he’d love to sit in and watch you while you work! 

-Your creativity is so fascinating to him. He loves hearing all of your ideas, and loves discussing them with you! 

-He’ll try to add in suggestions, but if you want him to just listen he’s fine with that, too

-At first he thinks you’re zoning out because you’re being rude/disrespectful (and he’s a little hurt on the inside at the thought), but once you clarify that that’s not the case at all he’s 100% okay again

-Offers to proof read your stuff if you’re a writer! He may not be that good at creative writing, but he’s damn good at proof reading and editing writings

-He’ll absolutely ask for tips on some of the stuff that he’s interested in if that’s what you also do! (“Y/N, please teach me how to draw the other eye!”)

-He starts picking up on early signs that you’re starting to get emotional over a project, and he’ll rush to your side early to try and help out

-Whether it be by complimenting the piece (which he thinks is just... amazing, really, he doesn’t get how you don’t see that??) or just rubbing your back as you lament over it, he’s right there

Sonia Nevermind

-She’s so excited!!! She loves listening to other people talk about what they’re passionate about!

-She could spend hours just sitting with you and listening to you talk about your new ideas!

-She’ll get so excited if you ask her to weigh in with her opinion, so excited that she may fill up the suggestion with curse words on accident

-She doesn’t mind you zoning out at all! She knows it’s not intentional and she has no problem just catching your attention again and asking where in her sentence you zoned out so she can continue

-Sonia is very observant about the people she cares about, so she can see that you’re starting to get emotional over a piece before you even notice it 

-At an instant she’s bringing you water and snacks, suggesting to take a break with her and relax for a bit

-If that doesn’t work, she’ll wrap you up in her arms to comfort you and remind you that even if this didn’t turn out exactly how you wanted, it still turned out amazing in the end, and that is something to be proud of!

Mondo Oowada

-Damn, he’s impressed. How do you have so many ideas up in your head?? He’s astounded with every one tbh!

-Sometimes he asks you for ideas for what he should build next! (He’ll also let you paint his stuff if you want)

-If you paint or draw, please ask him to join you one day. It will be hilarious and endearing (imagine him drawing a hideous stick figure and labelling it as you)

-He likes sitting you in his lap as you talk about your ideas, and he’ll hum as he listens to you; he’s more of a listener

-Doesn’t mind at all if you zone out! He’ll just hum and repeat himself; no harm done! If you’re apologetic, he’ll scoff and reassure you that he does not “fuckin’ care, babe, it’s not a big deal to say something again”

-He can tell if you’re starting to get frustrated by a piece not going according to plan, and he tries to coax you into taking a break before you get too frustrated

-If you still get emotional over it, he’s beside you rubbing your back soothingly and reassuring you that you can try again another time

-Brings you away from the piece to get your mind off of it, whether that be by motorcycle ride, movie, etc., he’s pulling out all the stops 

[tojikai]

Rant.

Not necessarily this fic but I've seen many where the readers desperately want the mc to get back together with the cheater and honestly that's unhealthy on so many levels. Irl that only works out for some people but majority of people who get back together with their cheaters are almost always unhappy or are extremely insecure or suspicious. A relationship is built on trust without trust might as well through away the entire relationships because unnecessary arguments arise. When someone cheats on you and you get back together with them there's always that little voice in the back of your head like what if they're doing it again. They come home a little late and you're suspicious. Their phone rings randomly and you get anxious. That shit isn't healthy and it messes with your self esteem. Why put yourself through that..maybe love yourself a little more or put yourself first. Those little voices also lead to unnecessary arguments and accussations that just stress out both parties in the relationship. One person thinks the worse of their partner and they other grows frustrated because their past "mistakes" are being thrown in their face. It's not good for either person. Walking away from relationships that you put time and energy into is extremely difficult so I'm not saying it's going to be a walk in the park but as cardi b said "it's gonna hurt me to hate you but loving you is worse" if you don't trust someone who you are supposed to share a home with, a bed with the relationship is basically destroyed before it can even go anywhere. Just heal. I know some people are able to get through those type of situation but just throwing out random not fully accurate statistics here it probably only works out for 3 or of 10 couples who have gone through cheating situations. Staying in damaged relationships is literally like drinking poison. It's a slow agonizing death that destroys your mental. Honestly sometimes it upsets me when people chose to stay in toxic relationships. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not my business but sometimes when it happens to people close to you its infuriating because it's watching a loved one be it friend or family member refuse to love themselves. You played with fire and got burnt so what you're gonna play with the fire again just to confirm that it did in fact burn you ?? Your happiness, self worth, value should not come from someone else let alone someone who went out and knowingly hurt you. Cheating isn't an accident you don't accidently put your d*ck in some or have someone put their whatever in you, that's a conscious decision...most times but in terms of for example being drunk if you get so drunk to the point you back out and cant remember what you did that's just irresponsible (unless ofc you were dr*gged).

Anyway this a whole long drawn out rant on what I think about cheating situations and basically me hoping that y/n doesn't get back together with ****. Because then to who wants a man that easily left you for someone else thinking they fell out of love with you only to come back on their knees a few months later? If it was that easy to throw away a 5 year relationship once who's to say it can't happen again. Who's to say that if they do get back together he may meet some other chic that makes him think he's out of love with y/n again. Truth is you never know if someone will fully change so might as well not put yourself back in that situation. But that's just my opinion tbh. I know others may feel different and I fully accept their view on this matter too. I feel strongly on cheating because things in fanfics most times isn't how it is in real life and sometimes it sells fantasies to some readers. I'm honestly tired of seeing fics (not this one because it hasn't ended yet so I'm not going to judge) that have the mc go back with the cheater with literally no repercussions and its just all fine and dandy I forgive you let's have 5 kids and a house on a farm type situation shit in a matter of like 2 months. Like that shit isn't realistic and even for the couples in real life who do overcome those situations, it's not without some struggles and most times therapy.

Alright I'm done so sorry for this 😅

this is interesting. but yeah, there's no way they gonna live a fine, dandy life just like that LMAO. those little voices are so true, it's sad :(( im gonna post chapter 8 in a bit :>

[cloveroctobers]

i was wondering if you could do an imagine where olivia is sexually assaulted and after her behaviour around the house drastically changes until she eventually tells jordan + her parents? i just wanted to see a protective, baker family imagine that focused on her :))

TW: mentions of s******* assault, trauma, bodily fluids, college parties, panic attacks, depression, etc…

A/N: took me a minute to decide if I wanted to write this piece since it’s slightly triggering for myself and can be to others. Not overly detailed ofc but I hope when I do fully get back into writing we’ll have some happy moments to come! Especially for my girl Liv.

SOMETHINGS WRONG — O. Baker

Olivia Baker felt like she could make a list of what she can now label herself as which held negative connotations:

The pill popper

The drunk

That mixed girl

The other twin

The girl with no solid friends

The boyfriend-stealer

The wannabe woke girl

And now the victim

She couldn’t get her mind to grasp that. That this happened to her, that she let this happen to her. If she was in her right mind she would realize that this isn’t something she could ever blame herself for but she knew others would, if she ever let them know. But she wouldn’t, she couldn’t.

What was supposed to be a fun weekend in Atlanta turned into a moment she wouldn’t forget. It was all fun and games, it actually felt like the one true moment in time where she felt free and happy. Surrounded by good people with good intentions, which only consisted of Spencer, Jordan, and Simone. These were her main people, her right hands, and her go-to but that seemed to fade the night her life drastically changed—yet again.

The events that occurred that night were burned into her mind in spurts. Olivia couldn’t piece them all together but she knew. She knew something was wrong with the way that she felt even though she was dressed as if nothing occurred. She knew the moment she pulled herself off the floor in her own drool to look at herself in the mirror that something was wrong. She knew it in her appearance and in the way that she felt. Her confirmations were proven correct when she decided to use the bathroom, what she felt, and what she saw.

She was gagging and struggling to breathe. Olivia Baker knew something happened to her when she realized she woke up alone on the cold bathroom floor. She was doing so well and thought she was stronger than this, how could this be added to the things of what happened to her or what she allowed to happen to her? Her mind was weak, somewhere in the night she let her guard down and now she was here. It all felt like her fault.

What will they say about her now?

Olivia’s experienced a handful of trauma in her teenage life before but THIS…this was something else. She felt like she was going to pass out again until she found the strength to let the anxiety take its course in subsiding. Pushing herself up with a huge whimper and wince, she began searching the bathroom for her phone as it was not on her body. She remembered the first thing she wanted to do was document this because as soon as she got back to Simone’s aunt’s house she was going to wash away the filth she felt.

Perhaps that was another mistake but she couldn’t erase what she felt beneath and on her skin. It felt like Olivia was moving in slow motion searching the fancy bathroom, stumbling and shoving items out of the way in search of her device. When she slipped on something in the bathroom, she failed to catch herself, her cheek colliding with the tile floor, she knew that would leave another bruise along with the rest on her body. Her eyes connected with the object which looked to be covered in what appeared to be blood.

With a shaky finger she reached out to it, and recoiled back as her finger became coated in the copper stench. That’s when the tears began to cloud her vision and she wanted to cover her cries but she felt frozen, like she did hours prior. So she cried until her body ached internally and furthermore externally, and with a shaky breath those came to a halt when she heard something rattling.

She moved painfully slow, ripping the shower curtain back to see her phone tossed in the stone shower face down. Swallowing, she picked the phone up to see that the now missed call was from Jordan. She had over thirty missed calls and fifteen text messages. Blinking Olivia unlocked her phone and opened up her camera and angled her phone before hearing multiple shutter speeds.

At least that part of her mind was still functioning. She thought to herself bitterly as she went over to the mirror once again, setting her phone down on the counter to call a Uber back to Simone’s aunt’s house.

This was just another scar in her story, she guessed. So she rinsed her face, and gave Simone a call first…feeling as if this was the best option out of the three…when all she really wanted to do was call her mom.

“Olivia!” Simone greeted, “Girl, where the hell are you? Last night was so crazy and Jordan was trying to stalk you but realized you turned off your location, which he said is something you’d never do but I figured since you went off with Othello and them you would be fine.”

It took a minute for Olivia to respond. Her vision still locked on her reflection as that name sent something through her. Making her eyes close shut as she heard the voice introduce itself with that name but she couldn’t connect the face to it. However it seemed like Simone was familiar with who Olivia disappeared off with.

“I’m in a Uber on my way back to your aunt’s house.” Olivia knew she sounded like herself to Simone but her face was stoney and she did not feel like herself…as to be expected.

Simone nodded, “okay…cool! I’m glad you got back to one of us because we were getting a little worried.”

“Worried I’d relapse?” Olivia stated but cleared her throat knowing Simone didn’t deserve the brunt of her trauma, “Please tell me Jordan didn’t call our parents.”

Simone chose to ignore that, wishing later that she didn’t—however her and Olivia were still trying to build their relationship as in-laws so they were still feeling out each other’s temperaments and personalities, “No. I persuaded him not to…although I know that would have changed if you didn’t show up at some part today and I don’t blame him. Him and Spencer are getting a little stir-crazy without you. So please bring your butt here so my aunt can take us to this flea market she keeps going on about.”

“Alright,” Olivia breathed out a laugh that felt humorless to her, “I should be there in ten according to the ride but we all know down here in the south it’s really thirty minutes.”

“Tell me about it! It’s always ‘oh, it’s right down the street!’ But why we still driving tho?!” Simone laughed, “see you soon. I’ll let the boys know you’re on your way.”

And with that they ended the call.

Olivia shoved the clothes she worn that night back underneath her bed, still unwashed and out of sight. She went searching under her bed after her black oil pastel pencil slid off her bed. It was always in the back of her mind that the clothes rotted underneath the place where she lay her head. Sleep no longer existed to her but it’s not like a good portion of concealer didn’t help hide her puffy bags.

Olivia was violated going on about three weeks now and she was expected to go on like everything was okay. That was the challenge. And it was exhausting and moments throughout her day felt like someone would hold onto her throat and squeeze for minutes at a time.

She kept up with her therapy so that nothing about her seemed suspicious. She had thoughts about her pills and the thoughts about sipping alcohol made her stomach turn—so perhaps that part was a good thing. Her dad moved back into the house so the family dynamic was shifting yet again, her mom made it her mission to not have any booze in the house and any over the counter medication that was addressed to any of them in the house would be under only her and Billy’s care.

Those wouldn’t be strong enough for Olivia anyways, and that thought alone made her laugh bitterly but she was glad someone was taking the initiative to her health. Liv was not to have any access to it. It might not have been said but Olivia Baker always paid attention to everything.

She was doing well at hiding, almost flawless in her mind; that something had changed her life for the worse. Whereas with her pill popping/partying had been out in the open and her drinking was slightly undercover, Olivia thought she was doing well acting like her assault didn’t take place—yet the signs were there however it was cautious on how to approach. She had been careless, leaving her phone unlocked when she went off to the bathroom and with iPhone’s broadcasting your memories with photo’s was what lit the flame.

Laura was sitting at the island previously with Olivia while the boys were seated on the couch watching some game. She was sipping her voss water when Olivia’s phone let out the alert, which was closer to Laura’s view. At first Laura thought they were nudes but when she picked the phone up to click on the photo’s, she felt her heart drop to her stomach. A gasp unknowingly left her lips, causing Billy to look over his shoulder at his on-again wife.

“Laura, baby? Are you alright?”

Before she could say anything else Olivia walked back into the room, rubbing the hand cream further into her hands as she made her way over to her mom. When Laura snapped her head up to stare at her daughter, Olivia immediately stopped in her tracks feeling her mother’s eyes almost stinging her skin.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Olivia tilted her head to the side, wondering why the blonde woman appeared distraught.

Laura wanted to hold the phone up but felt a protectiveness come over her not wanting to gain the attention of the two men in the house, even though Billy already had his body turned sideways at the exchange.

“Olivia, what is this?” Laura whispered, pointing at the phone.

It didn’t dawn on Olivia right away what her mother could be possibly be talking about, in a sense she tried to forget but when she looked back at her art pieces, once she completed them in her sketch book, she realized unconsciously it’s not something you can just forget.

Laura swiped against Olivia’s phone at each picture making Olivia sharply turn her head to the side and swallow the lump that formed in her throat.

“Who’s in these images, Olivia?!” Laura didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she wanted answers.

Now she gained the attention of Jordan who broke his eyes away from the commercial playing on the television.

Olivia chewed on her chapped lips not wanting to say anything. She didn’t want anyone else adding this to their list of things to worry about when it came to her. It was ironic really, Olivia Baker was always involving herself in everyone else’s issues but pushed her own pain to the side. She vowed with Spencer that they would start to only worry about themselves this senior year and yet Olivia seemed to not do that. In a sense…she going to therapy, she was picking back up her old hobby to ease her mind but the huge problem about this was she wasn’t talking about it. To anyone.

“Olivia—

Laura seemed to take a different approach, using what she learned in family therapy to level her tone and to not make her daughter feel cornered. However she was highly concerned and she wanted to hear what she already suspected from these pictures. She kept her eyes trained on Olivia who reached out to the island to balance herself, now feeling the room spin. Laura pushed the bar stool back and went to Olivia’s aid but she flinched, ripping her body away from her mother which made Laura let out a small sob.

“What’s going on?” Billy asked, now getting to his feet.

Laura didn’t want to show Billy the pictures but with the way she was clutching Olivia’s phone to her chest made the man snatch the phone from his wife’s grasp.

Billy on the other hand was furious. He rubbed at his face and Olivia didn’t want to see the expression on his face so she kept her back to the both of them now. It was when Jordan towered over Olivia, hoping that he could get an answer out of her opposed to what their parents were failing to do, he didn’t touch her but he paid close attention to the way she was acting right now and how his father was trying not to scream in the kitchen.

Something was wrong. Jordan could feel it more than sense it from what his parents were demonstrating, and yeah they were twins but they haven’t radiated the same energy off the other since they were kids. And who’s to know that might have just been in their heads like many people tried to argue but Jordan and Olivia were extremely close as kids, they shared a whole womb together so they had to share more connections outside in the world too? Their bond was much stronger as children but they were making their way back to each other as they got older. Yes they were their own people but it’s undeniable if they said energy was never a factor in their relationship as twins.

Jordan was calm as he peered down into Olivia’s for eyes, patient, waiting for her to say what she willing to say. Everything was silent to her ears, Olivia blocked out Billy wheezing out his frustrations as he crouched down in front of the island and Laura’s cries.

Olivia felt so small.

Jordan knew before Spencer said something that Olivia was acting a little off. He tried to be better as a brother in paying attention to her as she always did for him. He was worried when she disappeared off with some kid named after Shakespeare that Simone used to spend summer’s with as a kid. Sure Simone said he and his friends were good people but they were also a year or two older, settling into the toxic part of college life. He was the last one with Olivia after they watched some performances with Spencer and Simone already on the dance floor with other people.

“You let Liv go off with these people we don’t even know?” Jordan remembers Spencer saying to him after he got off the dance floor.

Jordan didn’t like how Spencer said this to him so he replied back with, “you were just on the dance floor with someone you don’t know. None of us control my sister, Spence. She’s allowed to hang out with whoever she wants. Plus Simone says Oscar is good people.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that man,” Spencer tried to come correct, “Simone said she only spent summers with othello,” He informed Jordan of the guy’s actual name which Jordan sucked his teeth at, “so that doesn’t mean she really knows him all that well either.”

“Are you trying to question my girl, right now?” Jordan furrowed his brows, always looking for a fight due to his impulsiveness.

Spencer raised his brows, “I’m not questioning nothing. I’m just stating the obvious. We don’t know nobody out here, we not from here. We just have to be smarter is all I’m sayin’.”

Jordan didn’t like to be wrong but he felt like he wasn’t completely wrong? Sure his big brother instincts should have kicked in stronger but he was too focused on some corny dude pushing up on Simone. That was a little foul now that he thought back on it, Olivia should have been just as important—and she is. Which is why he wanted to do right in the present.

He noticed before Layla pointed out a couple of times that Olivia was bringing out the darker fashion choices and that it was nice to see sometimes, since she “did it so well.” He noticed before Simone told him to tell Olivia that she would be over to help her straighten the back of her hair out and he noticed that she was wearing eyeliner in her waterline again.

He noticed the long showers and staying outside in the rain, he noticed she’s been slacking on her podcast and scribbling in her old sketch book. He noticed her listening to nothing but Fiona Apple, Billie Holiday, old Alicia Keys songs, and Fefe Dobson instead of her usual song choices like: Aaliyah, Jorja Smith, Billie Eilish, H.E.R., Doja Cat, and Mereba. He even fought with himself at night standing outside her closed door to say something. He did remember asking her one night at dinner, which she barely ate, if she was okay and with a smile that didn’t reach her rimmed eyes…she said she was.

To Olivia it was silent as she admitted her truth about what happened to her in Atlanta, but to the rest of the Baker’s it was loud and clear. Over the course of three weeks, she gathered it all. The memories came back when they needed to and the fact that he reached out to her twice since she returned home was appalling. Olivia didn’t know if it was the guilt—that might have been a stretch…she didn’t know the piece of shit of a person at all, the audacity, or the curiosity on his part to see what she was going to do about this. If anything. She gave no information away in the DM’s, in fact she barely sent anything back.

There was no weight that lifted from her chest as she spoke her secret into the air, she still felt pain that she tried to numb down but it just felt like another burden she inflicted on her loved ones and she hated that idea. That she caused this. Most days she felt numb but she knew anger was brewing along the horizon.

Jordan went to Olivia who stepped back, which felt like Jordan just got punched in the gut. And he’s taken a lot of hits before in his eighteen years of life but this one might have been the worse blow he’s experienced. And that’s coming from a guy still healing from a concussion.

“Oh, god. I’m so sorry, Liv I—.” She heard Her twin say to her but it sounded like she was under water.

Life has been that way for awhile now, if you truly asked her.

‘I don’t want pitty.’ Her inner thoughts hissed. That was last thing she wanted. She was now coming to terms that she wanted this emptiness to vanish, if that was what this even was. She wanted to be back to where she was or at least as a kid where she didn’t have to worry about a damn thing. She didn’t want to endure what she’s been feeling since she entered her teenage years. Olivia Baker wanted so much more out of this life but lately it seems as if her purpose was to only be handed out shitty lessons instead.

What lesson was this? To showcase how the world can take away anything it wanted and leave you to deal or not deal with the aftermath afterwards?

The anger was indeed setting in.

Olivia didn’t realize that eventually Jordan put his arms around her and she gripped onto him for dare life. Her body didn’t shrink into itself like it commonly did weeks after what happened whenever someone touched her.

Her parents kept their distance picking up on the fact that she didn’t want to be touched but her other half held onto her and that seemed to be a step in the right direction for now. Instead Billy and Laura held onto each other too, their heads whirling around with how to further provide the best possible care for their daughter.

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

cats and babies

This is the first piece I’ve ever written so if anyone sees this be nice pls and thank u

There could be typos/ weird formatting, this was typed entirely on my phone

I also feel the need to say all of my medical knowledge is from Grey’s anatomy and googling things I saw on grey’s anatomy so this is probably not that accurate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

Word count: 6,160

Warnings: Car accidents, blood, angst (but with a v happy ending ofc bc sad endings are Not For Me), hospitals/medical stuff, again a very happy ending, I would like to emphasize the happy ending so no one gets scared away from reading this, did I mention there’s a happy ending?

"So, what'd'ya say? Chinese?"

They were deciding where to go for dinner after a long day of touring their favorite art museums. Harry and Y/N had been dating about two years now, and (cheesy as it sounds) they loved each other more and more every day. 

"Chinese sounds great," Y/N smiled, glancing over at Harry. The golden sun reflected off his curls, making him look absolutely angelic. 

He smiled, which turned into a chuckle, which turned into full blown laughter. She was confused. "What is it?" What's so hilariou- eyes on the road!!" 

"Sorry, sorry," he laughed. "Nothing, just- do you-" he breathed slowly, calming down a bit. "Do you remember the first time we had Chinese food? She blushed, laughing with him at the memory. 

Their first date had been... disastrous, to say the least. They had both been nervous, but both trying to act confident. They had decided on a nice, fancy, black tie restaurant, and Y/N was excited. When he picked her up in a limousine, she was hardly unable to contain herself.

However, their plan fell apart almost from the beginning. When they got to the place, a big red sign read "CLOSED FOR REPAIRS"

"Ooook... that's... weird," Y/N had grimaced. "What should we do now?" 

"Uh... we could... try the one a few blocks over? Yeah, that's a good place too, I know the owner. He always has a table for me. That'll work!"

Y/N hasn't quite cared about the wrench thrown into their plans. She really liked Harry so far, and she though he liked her too. So she chirped "Sure! Sounds great."

She hadn't noticed how embarrassed he looked when he opened the car door for her. He couldn't believe his luck! He was finally on a date with a girl he really liked, really wanted to impress, and the best restaurant in town closed with no notice? How could this happen? But he shook it off, climbing in after her and alerting the driver of their change of plans. 

When they got to the next place, Harry immediately got worried. It looked very crowded, and while the owner usually held a table for Harry, it didn't seem so tonight. 

He pulled out his phone.

"Hey, Luke! Yeah, I'm great! Listen, do you by any chance have a table-" He paused, and then his face fell. His voice kept its happy tone, though. "No, no problem at all, I understand. Yeah, for sure, a different night. Thank you!" He hung up, looking more than a little dejected. 

Y/N put a hand on his arm. "It's ok, I promise. I swear I didn't just agree to go out with you for the fancy food. We can go anywhere, 'Im really not upset!" 

"Agh, thank you. You're very sweet. But really, you deserve a fancy place. Only it seems everyone in the world is determined to make sure we don't get to do that," He huffed. "Maybe..." And he pulled out his phone again. He glanced at her curious face. "How do you feel about Chinese?" He asked sheepishly.

  Y/N beamed. "I love it," and there was no trace of insincerity on her face. 

"Right then, Chinese it is!" he found the closest place on his phone, telling the driver the address.

After a few minutes of eating, Y/N looked around the table for a fork. She could handle big foods, like the chicken, with the chopsticks, but definitely not the rice. 

Harry asked what she needed. She was a bit embarrassed to tell him she wasn't good enough with chopsticks to eat her rice, but he was kind about it. He helped show her how to use them without making too big of a mess. Still, she dropped half her plate on a napkin in her lap. 

At the end of their meal, Y/N burst out laughing when she picked up her napkin. Harry looked at her, confused, until she placed what was basically a full serving of rice on the table. He was also unable to contain his laughter, to which Y/N responded by throwing a few grains of rice at him. 

He threw a balled up napkin at her, and she blew a straw wrapper in his face. This escalated until she splashed what was left of her water glass on him. There was stunned silence for a moment, and Y/N thought she went too far. Then he looked at her and burst into laughter. She sighed in relief, laughing with him. "I'm sorry, that was too much," but she couldn't keep the smile off her face at the sight of the water dripping down his face.

"A little water never hurt anyone," he said, his eyes twinkling as he splashed her with his own water. 

Y/N was pulled from the happy memory of their first date when the car skidded on the ice. 

"Careful... if I'd known it was this slippery we'd have found a closer place," she said nervously.

"Nah, we've talked about this, the only good place is the one two towns over. I understand you love Minnesota and all but it is NOT the best place to find good Chinese food," he smirked.

"I will not have this Minnesota slander, not in this house. Maybe you're the issue, with your sophisticated taste and all," Y/N said, laughing at his disgruntled look. "Sophisticated? I took you for Chinese food on our first date. Nothing about that screams "sophisticated" to me." 

"Yeah, but we were dressed VERY fancy. That counts," Y/N laughed. 

"Oh really? that's what makes me sophisticated? alright then, you're right, I'm, extremely-" 

The car slid just a little too far for Y/N's liking. 

"Harry, are you sure it's safe to be driving on this? I think it's getting worse, and- look, it's starting to rain." She checked the weather on her phone. "Yeah, it's at that weird temperature where it's halfway freezing. The road will be worse on the way back." 

"I think we're ok," He reassured her. "The car has 4 wheel drive, and I'll go slow. I think the biggest danger is us not getting our Chinese food," he smiled at her. "Uh, no," Y/N said, rolling her eyes. "I'd say the biggest danger is crashing and dying in a firey car wreck." 

"Always so negative, Y/N," Harry laughed. "We're perfectly fine-" he spoke too soon, because right then the car slid again. A lot, this time. They almost slid right through a stop sign. 

Y/N clutched the armrest. 

"We're almost there, you better not kill me before I get my Chinese food, Styles. I finally know how to eat rice with chopsticks without..." She stopped halfway through her sentence because she was laughing so hard. "Without... dropping all of it on my lap." 

They dissolved into giggles, especially when Harry said, "got any more water to throw at me?" 

The car slid once more, and Y/N felt her pocket nervously. She had bought a ring for Harry. It was nothing too special, but it was the one year anniversary of the first time they had gone to an art museum together. She wanted to commemorate that with something special, so she had gone to the museum gift shop and found the perfect ring. It had a silver band, a little thinner than the rest of his, and a labradorite stone set into it. She thought it would complement his other jewelry nicely. 

She kept her hand on the little box in her pocket, careful not to make Harry suspicious. 

He wasn't looking at her, though; he was completely focused on the road. His hands gripped the wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Y/N felt a little more nervous seeing this. Harry was an excellent driver, and he usually had one hand on the wheel and the other holding hers. He only gripped the wheel this tightly when he felt unsafe driving. 

Y/N looked out at the darkening sky. She was not a fan of storms, especially ones that make the roads icy. Like a true Minnesotan, she knew that under the right circumstances, a bit of rain could make it nearly impossible to drive.

A car sped past them, almost veering into their lane when it went over a particularly icy patch. 

"Harry, really, I don't know if we should keep going," Y/N said nervously.

"I know, but I'm not sure what we should do. I think it's safer to just keep going and hope the rain stops. We're about 10 minutes away, but if we turn around it's almost a 2 hour drive." 

"Yeah... you're right. It's better to just keep going. Just... go slow," Y/N said, biting the inside of her cheek. 

"Stop doing that," Harry chided in a singsong voice. 

"How can you even tell? you weren't even looking at me," Y/N laughed. 

"I know how you are when you're nervous, Y/N. Biting your cheek won't do anything but hurt." 

Y/N smiled. She had never had someone care this much about her. Someone who knew her this well, almost better than she knew herself. She was so hopelessly in love... 

She was so busy thinking about what she would say when she gave him the ring that she didn't hear the horn blaring. She looked up just in time to see the truck driving straight down the middle of the road towards them. 

She could tell instantly the driver of the truck couldn't do anything. He was sliding on the ice like they had before. Harry jerked the wheel to the right, moving the car out of the way. 

It wasn't enough.

Y/N heard a horribly loud crashing noise, and then there was nothing. 

Y/N shot straight up out of the bed she was in, gasping. Someone put their hands on her shoulders, trying to soothe her and get her to lay back down. She pushed the hands away as her vision came into focus. She was in a room filled with people and noise and 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.

She panicked for a minute before she realized where she was. Clearly an Emergency Room. There were 4 doctors and nurses around her, checking her eyes, ears, reflexes, pulse, breathing. She threw her arms out to try and get some space. One of the nurses caught her hand, holding it in both of hers. 

"Y/N, you're alright. You're in the hospital. You were in a car accident. Do you have any pain? Whe-"

"Harry! Where's Harry?? I need to see him, I have to, I have to go-" She stuttered as she pushed the doctors away from her, trying to get up again.

  The same nurse held her back.

"Y/N, we need to make sure you're ok before you can get up. If you let us help, you'll be able to see Harry sooner. Can you lay back? Do you have any pain?"

  "No, no I'm fine, I'm ok! I need to see Harry, I need to know if he's ok! Please!" Y/N looked frantically around at the doctors, hoping one of them knew something. 

The doctor who appeared to be in charge ordered, "Someone go get an update on the guy they brought in with her. See how he's doing." 

"Thank you, thank you so much," Y/N breathed, finally laying back. 

"There we go. Do you have any pain Y/N?" The nurse asked again. 

"No, I'm totally fine. I'm- " Y/N brushed her hair out of her face. When are brought her arm down, she saw that her hand was covered in blood. "I'm bleeding!" She cried, panicking. 

"It's ok, it's not too bad," one of the doctors said, examining her head. "It looks like it'll need maybe 5 or 6 stitches. We can fix that up right away." 

Y/N closed her eyes. How had this happened? Harry moved the wheel, she knew he did. How had they crashed this badly? 

The doctor who had been sent to check on Harry came back into the room. Y/N snapped her eyes open, looking at her expectantly.

"He is stable. That's the important thing right now. However, he's been pretty badly injured. He broke his femur and clavicle. He has a small brain bleed, and he is covered in cuts from the glass. He's also pretty bruised from the airbag and seatbelt. He is intubated, because he was having some trouble breathing. He might need surgery to repair the brain bleed, but right now they're waiting and hoping it will get better on it's own." 

Y/N exhaled. "But... he's ok? I mean... he's alive?" 

The doctor smiled. "Yes. He's doing ok." 

Y/N finally allowed herself to breathe. She noticed she was crying but she didn't do anything to wipe her tears away. 

"Ok, Y/N," said the doctor stitching up her face. "I'm finished here. You need to stay here for a little while longer so we can monitor you. There is an IV in your arm to keep you hydrated. If you need anything, call for a nurse. Also, and this is important, don't get out of this bed without someone helping you. You've been through a lot today, but the adrenaline is wearing off, which might make you feel shaky. Do you need anything right now?" 

"No, I'm... I'm fine. Thank you," Y/N said, wiping her eyes. 

After he left her bed, she felt her pocket. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the ring still there. Then she mentally kicked herself for being worried about a silly ring when Harry was... no. She wouldn't let herself think that. Harry was 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. They were both alive, and they were both ok.

About an hour later, a nurse came in. After confirming that she felt totally fine, Y/N anxiously asked when she could see Harry. 

"I'm sorry, the ICU is family only," The nurse said. She really did look sorry, but this did nothing to make Y/N feel better. 

"I- I'm his wife!" Y/N said quickly, not even thinking. She most definitely was 𝘯𝘰𝘵 his wife. She wasn't even his fiancee. She slipped the ring from her pocket onto her finger, then held up her hand to the nurse. 

The nurse pretended not to notice the fact that the ring hadn't been there before, and that the ring was easily a size too big. "Oh! Then of course you can see him," She said, helping Y/N off the bed slowly. "I'll take you to his room." 

"Thank you so much," Y/N said, taking her first few steps slowly. 

"Careful- you're still attached to this IV pole," The nurse said, adjusting the tubing so it wasn't in her way. "You can hold onto it for support- yes, just like that." 

Y/N got more nervous with every step towards Harry's room. What would he look like? Would he be in pain? Would he know who she was? Would he... be mad at her? 

When she walked into his room, she almost started crying all over again. He looked, well, awful. He was covered in cuts and bruises. He had several tubes and wires connected to him, as well as a large tube taped in his mouth. He had a cast on his leg and a sling on his arm.

Y/N looked at the nurse who was taking his vitals. 

"How is he?" She asked in a small voice. 

"He's ok for now. He is stable, which is very good. He's unconscious, but we hope to see him wake up soon. You can sit with him, hold his hand, talk to him. If you need anything, just press the call button." 

She left, leaving Y/N and Harry alone. This time, she really did start crying. This was awful, and it was all her fault. She was the one who wanted to go for Chinese food. She was the one who picked today, the first wintery stormy day of the year to go for a long drive. And now.. 

"Harry... Harry I'm so sorry," Y/N said, sniffling. She held onto his hand, the one that wasn't attached to a broken collarbone.  "This is all my fault, and now you're... and I got off with nothing but a cut on my forehead, and it's not fair and I'm so sorry," She let out a sob. 

She continued on like this, crying and talking and crying some more, for a few hours, before she fell asleep in the chair next to him. She woke up around 9 the next morning with a stiff next and puffy eyes. She looked at his face, still covered in bruises, and kissed his hand. The nurse came in to check on him and told Y/N to go get some breakfast, reminding her that she couldn't care for Harry if she didn't care for herself. Y/N reluctantly agreed, going as fast as she could. The nurse had disconnected her IV sometime in the night, and she could move much faster without it. 

She got back to the room with her bagel and resumed her position in the chair right next to Harry. She talked to him as if he was awake, imagining she heard his beautiful voice responding to her. 

She had managed to keep the crying to a minimum today. She kept telling herself that if- no, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 Harry woke up, she didn't want to look like a monster with red eyes. 

Her phone had been found by some paramedics, so she found Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone online and began to read to him. It was a little weird, but Harry loved these books, especially when he was sick.

Y/N was used to just imagining she heard his voice with her in the room, but suddenly she heard something that wasn't her. She gasped. 

"He's choking!! Nurse!!" She yelled for help, frantically pushing the call button. "Help!" 

Several nurses rushed in. One ushered Y/N back and out of the room, telling her to give them space to work. 

"What's- What's happening? What are they doing??" Y/N tried to go back in, but the nurse held her shoulders. 

"He's trying to breathe over the tube, Y/N. That's a very good sign. It means he's breathing on his own," The nurse said, trying to keep Y/N calm. 

"Does- does that mean he's waking up?" Y/N asked, not wanting to get her hopes up. 

"Not for sure, but it's a very good sign."

After a few minutes, the nurses came out of Harry's room, looking excited. "Y/N, he's awake! He's very groggy and can't speak yet, but he is definitely awake. You can go in and sit with him again if you'd like. We gave him some more medicine for the pain, so you have about 15 minutes to talk before he starts going a little..." She made a swirling motion next to her head. 

Y/N didn't care if he was high on morphine. She just cared that he was alive and awake and didn't... hate her. 

Harry was laying in the bed, looking at her with great concern in his tired eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no noise came out. Y/N rushed over to take his hand. 

"It's ok, they said you might not be able to talk for a little while yet. It's ok, I'm here, it's ok," Y/N said, smoothing his hair. 

Harry cleared his throat, coughing. He gestured toward the water cup on his side table. 

"Oh, of course." Y/N picked up the pitcher and poured him a glass, setting it in his good hand. 

He raised the straw shakily to his lips as   Y/N watched carefully to make sure he didn't spill. She gently lifted the cup out of his hands when he held it up to her.

His small smile was enough to make Y/N cry all over again.

"Oh, Harry," She cried, holding her head in her hands. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry this happened, I did this to you- you almost died!" 

"W-what?"

Y/N whipped her head up. "You can talk?" She said, overjoyed.

Harry coughed and spoke again. "Of course I can talk." 

His voice was rough and it sounded like it hurt everytime he spoke, but it was the most beautiful thing Y/N had ever heard. 

"What are you talking about, it's all your fault?" He rasped, looking utterly confused. "What even happened?" 

With tears leaking from her eyes, Y/N explained all she knew, which still wasn't much. Harry remembered everything as she told him, both their eyes watering as her voice shook.

"Why... why're you crying? Does your forehead hurt? I can call the nurse..." He reached for the call button.

"No, no, I'm ok," She took his hand in hers. "I'm just so sorry, because it honestly is my fault, I'm the one who wanted Chinese food and picked 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 of all days to drive 2 hours away and-" 

He cut her off by raising his finger to her lips. 

"It's not your fault... it's mine. I'm the one who convinced you the only good Chinese food is so far away and I'm the one who was driving. I couldn't keep you safe..." 

Harry had never looked so sad. 

"No!" Y/N exclaimed. "Do you not see me right now? I'm absolutely fine, you did keep me safe. You swerved out of the way... wait a minute," She paused, realization hitting her. "You didn't think we could avoid the truck at all, did you? You knew it would hit us either way, but you made sure it would hit as far from me as possible." 

Harry looked down. "I figured you're more important than me, I had to do what I could."

"Harry Styles!" Y/N whisper-yelled. "If you weren't so 𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥 I would 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘬 you right now! How could you do that? How could you put yourself in 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 like that?" 

"Oh, that's actually why I got so injured, because I knew you'd try to hit me for this," He smiled charmingly at Y/N. She just scowled. 

"Did you really expect me to just say, "oh well, guess she's a goner! bye Y/N! nice knowin' ya!" No, of course not. Of course I'd put myself in danger for you. Always." 

Y/N's lip trembled. "Why do you have to be so romantic after you do such stupid things? it makes it really hard to stay mad at you," She said, wiping her eyes. 

"Yeah, that was the goal there," He laughed. 

Then he caught sight of the ring on her finger.

"That's pretty, when did you get that?" He mock gasped. "Did you get engaged while I was in a coma?" 

“No," Y/N laughed. "It's funny actually. I bought it from the museum gift shop. I wanted to give it to you as a present, for the anniversary of the first time we went there together. I was going to give it to you over Chinese food, and it was going to be 𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 and 𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘨𝘪𝘤 and 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭." 

Harry smiled. "That's lovely of you, darling. Why... why's it on your finger though?" 

"Oh! right." Y/N sheepishly pulled the ring off her finger. "They wouldn't let me see you because I'm not family, so I threw it on and said we were married," She said, blushing furiously. "Sorry about that." 

Harry smiled. "Why are you sorry?" 

"Um... we're 𝘯𝘰𝘵 married... so... I don't know, I just thought you might think it's weird, or, something..."  Y/N finished lamely. She held the ring out to him. 

"Happy anniversary." 

"Why don't you keep it?" 

"Right, of course, you don't need a reminder of this day," Y/N slipped the ring back into her pocket, on the verge of tears because she messed up 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.

"No, that's not... I meant, why don't you keep it... on your finger?" 

She pulled the ring out of her pocket again, looking confused. "Why?" 

Harry plucked it out of her hand, holding it up to her. "Because I want you to marry me," He said, slipping it onto her finger with the sweetest smile she had ever seen. 

Y/N smiled at him. "It's ok, Harry, you're very high on all the painkillers right now. I won't hold you to anything you say," She laughed a little. 

"I'm not... why would I be on painkiller... oh yeah," Harry grinned, looking around. "I remember why I'm high right now." 

"Riiight." 

"I might be high, but I still want to marry you," he said is a singsong voice. 

Y/N laughed. "Harry, why don't we talk about this when you're sober, ok?"

Harry pouted. "Please? Please marry me? I love you, and you're so pretty, and you're so nice to animals..." He started crying, apparently at how nice Y/N was to animals. "And... a cat! We can get a cat together!" 

"Harry, baby, don't cry, of course we can get a cat," She gently wiped the tears from his bruised face. 

"I won't stop crying until you say you'll marry me," Harry said defiantly, gripping    Y/N's arm. "Pleeeaaase?" 

"Ok, Harry, yes, I will marry you. Sure. You can stop crying now, ok?" 

"That's good, I'm glad, because you're my favorite person, and I looooove you, and you're my baaaaby..." 

At this point Harry was just singing random words, usually circling back to "baaaaby" and "looooove youuuu". 

Y/N felt happy for the first time in what felt like years, while really it had been less than 24 hours. 

Eventually, he wanted to see the ring again. Y/N held up her hand and he gasped. 

"It's so beautiful! I'll buy you a real one though, a real ring for our real wedding. Then we'll get a real house and have real babies, and a real cat," He said, with the dopiest grin Y/N had ever seen. 

"Oh? We'll have babies, huh? How many babies will we have?" 

"3," He answered quickly. "Two girls and a boy. No... 4. Two of each. That way they won't team up one of them." 

"Oh, sounds like you've thought about this a lot," Y/N laughed.

  "Every single day since we started dating, you know why?" 

"Why?" 

He motioned for her to lean closer.

  "Because I looooove you," He sang in her ear.

She pulled back, kissing his swollen cheek. 

"You're a sweetheart," She said affectionately. 

"So're you," He smiled. 

"I kind of like drugged Harry," Y/N laughed. "He's very cute." 

"Drugged Harry also likes drugged Harry, he feels like he's floating." 

"Oh, so drugged Harry talks about himself in the third person?" 

"He does now!" Harry smiled at her again. "Drugged Harry is tired... he's just going to..." 

Then the monitors started beeping rapidly. Several nurses ran in, bustling around and shouting various medical terminology. Another nurse ushered Y/N out of Harry's room for the second time that day. 

"No! No, I need to stay with him! I can't-"

"Shh... it's alright. They're going to do everything they can to help him. You have to let them help him. Why don't we go to the waiting room?"

Y/N exhaled shakily. If she couldn't stay with Harry, she might as well sit instead of hovering around the corner. 

"Yes, let's go to the waiting room," She said, after a few deep breaths. 

Y/N had been sitting on the waiting room for what felt like an eternity, but a glance at her phone told her it had only been 45 minutes. 

A woman in a surgical gown approached her, and Y/N stood up quickly. "What happened?" She asked immediately.

"Unfortunately, your husband's brain bleed did not resolve itself like we had hoped. He is in surgery, and for right now he's doing well," the surgeon said, looking sympathetic. 

"Ok... why did the monitors freak out? Did his heart stop? Is he going to wake up from surgery?" 

"The monitors went off because his heart was having trouble, but they were able to resuscitate him through CPR and defibrillation. It's too soon to know if he will wake up, but the surgeon is hopeful. I will come back to update you as soon as I can."

"Ok, thank you," Y/N said, sinking back into her chair.

  She felt a pain in her chest, like real, actual pain. What would she do without Harry? How would she live with herself, knowing he died trying to save her? 

She caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger and choked back a sob. Would she tell people she was engaged? No, of course not. Harry had been completely out of his mind when he'd asked her. 

She slumped down in her chair, wanting to curl up and cry. Instead, she called her mom. Through her tears, she explained everything that happened. 

"Oh, honey," Her mom sighed. "I'm so sorry. I'm on my way. I'll be there in about 7 hours, I'm sorry it'll take so long. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?"

  "No, I can't," Y/N sniffled. "I have to call Harry's family."

  "Do you want me to do that? I wouldn't mind, they're-"

"No, mom, thank you, but I should. I- I'm going to go. Love you," Y/N said, hanging up the phone. 

Checking her phone, Y/N realized it was the middle of the night in London where Harry's family lived. She didn't think she should wait, so she called Anne without another thought. 

"Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry. We're getting the soonest flight. We won't be there until tomorrow morning. Will you be alright alone? Is your mother coming?" 

"Yes, my mom's on her way. I'm ok, thank you," Y/N said, rubbing her eyes. 

After she hung up the phone, it set in just how exhausted she was. She had slept poorly the night before, because of the awkwardness of sleeping in a chair and because she was so, so, worried for Harry.

She drifted into a fitful sleep where she dreamed of cars crashing, rings flying around, and Harry standing just out of her reach. He was like a rainbow, the closer she got to him, the more he faded. 

She startled awake and realized there were tears on her face. She checked her phone, seeing that it had only been 3 hours.  

She saw the same woman from before approaching her, this time wearing just scrubs. 

Y/ N stood to meet her. 

"Harry is out of surgery and doing well. We were able to repair the brain bleed. His heart stopped on the table," Y/N gasped at this, "But we were able to get him back. His ribs will be very sore and possibly even broken. All that aside, he is doing well, Mrs. Styles, and you can see him now," She said, Leading Y/N to the elevator. 

Her breath trembled as they walked towards his room. 

Harry was laying in his bed, looking like a fragile child. Even though he was so much bigger than her, right now he seemed so... small. 

Y/N looked at the nurse, asking to sit with him. She nodded and explained that two of his ribs were fractured and his collarbone would hurt him a lot when he woke up. 

Y/N held his hand with a featherlight touch, unwilling to jostle him even the smallest bit. 

After about an hour of her reading to him, she felt a small movement, barely even noticeable. Was it...?

She felt another movement. This time she was sure of it. He was squeezing her hand.

"I'm here Harry, I'm right here," She soothed,  moving her chair closer to him.

  He groaned sleepily before opening his emerald eyes and looking at her.

  "Hi," he smiled, squeezing her hand again. 

"Hi," Y/N said, crying more than a little bit. 

"What... did... are you ok?" Harry's brow furrowed. He seemed to have a hundred questions, but he settled on asking how she was. 

"Yes, Harry, I'm ok. How do you feel?" 

"Hurts," he said, closing his eyes. "But if you're ok, so am I." 

Y/N kissed his hand. "I see drugged Harry is still here? The one that is 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 cute and sweet?" 

"No, he's not. This is just regular Harry. I can tell because everything 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hurts," He said with a small grimace.

"Oh, I'll get the nurse. They'll give you something," Y/N started to get up, but Harry's grip on her hand tightened. 

"Wait," he said pulling her back to him. "Before they make me go all loopy, I just want to say-" He paused, looking at the ring on her finger. "I love you, to my fiancee. I think it counts more when I'm not high." 

"Your- your fiancee? Harry, I told you I wouldn't hold you to anything you said before. You weren't in your right mind at all, I didn't even think you'd remember saying all that." 

"Yeah, but I remember asking you to marry me and you said yes. You might not be holding me to anything I said, but I'm holding you to that," He grinned. "You really want to deny a dying man his last... dying... wish?" 

Harry flopped his good arm dramatically over his forehead, wincing at the motion. Y/N helped him slowly lower it again. 

"First of all, you're not dying. Secondly, I don't want you to go through with this because you feel obligated, or because you think I'll be upset if you aren't ready to propose. It's totally fine, I promise, but why don't we talk about this when you're feeling better?" 

"No, I feel fine," He insisted.

Y/N gave him a look. "Really? You do? Aren’t you the one who just needed help moving your arm?" 

"Irrelevant. I feel fine, like, mentally. If you don't think you're ready to be engaged to me, that's ok. But don't say no because you think I didn't mean it. I did, with every part of me. I love you, and I want you to be my wife." 

"...Really?" Y/N asked, cheeks heating up.

"Really," Harry smiled. 

"And according to drugged Harry, you want to have a cat and 4 children." 

Harry laughed, wincing immediately.

"Don't make me laugh, my chest really hurts," He said, still holding her hand. 

"Sorry, sorry, they said you have some broken ribs. Also your collarbone. Also your femur. Geez, Styles, you're kind of a mess," You laughed. 

"Yeah, really," He smiled. "But seriously, will you? Will you be my wife?" 

"Of course I will, Harry. I love you so much, of course I will," Y/N said, gently kissing his cheek. 

"Great," Harry beamed at her. "Now that we've worked that out, can you get the nurse? Drugged Harry is ready to make a comeback." 

"Oh, right, sorry," Y/N said, reaching over for the call button. 

The nurse came in, giving Harry more medicine. 

"You'll start to have some relief within a few minutes," She said, leaving them alone again.  

"One more thing Y/N," Harry said. She could already tell he was a little more relaxed. "I have to get you a ring!" 

Y/N smiled, holding up her hand. "I already have one, remember?" 

Harry waved her hand away. "No, no, a bride can't buy her own ring! What kind of... chivalrous... gentleman... would I be if I didn't buy you a beautiful ring?" 

"Ok, Harry, as soon as you get out of here, we'll go ring shopping," Y/N promised. 

"And... to the cat shelter? You said we could get a cat... a kitty, a cat, a little kitty cat..." 

Harry had started singing mumbled words about cats and love and babies. Y/N knew it was going to be a long night. Still, she had never been happier.

[beautiful-and-terrible]

dazed ‘n’ confused (part 4)

A/N: just a quick chapter for you guys before i have to put this story on the back burner :( i have an annual essay coming up in school that i gotta focus on. anyway, hope you like the gangs drunk shennanigans

Ship: Rodrick Heffley / OFC

Warnings: underage drinking / drug use, inebriated driving (DONT DRIVE DRUNK KIDS THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY DONT BE STUPID :) )

---

“If we get caught, my mom’ll kill me,” Rodrick groaned.

“Let’s bounce,” Nicole said, untangling herself from him and grabbing his hand as they ran further into the back yard, looking for an escape route.

“I’ll boost you,” Rodrick said, gesturing to the fence. Nicole nodded, not thinking of a better plan, and wanting to get out of there as fast as possible. She stepped into the make-shift step Rodrick made with his palms, and as she swung a leg over the fence, he pushed her the rest of the way. It wasn’t the most graceful execution, and she ended up landing on her ass with a grunt of pain.

Rodrick also clumsily made his way over the fence - both of them being drunk and high didn’t help their coordination much. “Sorry, are you good?” Rodrick said, clutching his shin, and Nicole waved him off.

“It’s fine, let's just get to the van.”

“Oh, fuck, the van!” Rodrick hissed, “The pigs are totally gonna know it’s mine.” With a big fucking stupid band name written on the side, Nicole reckoned he was right - it was pretty easy to identify, even without the plates.

“I can drive, don’t worry,” Nicole said, already starting toward the white van, creeping between other cars on the street.

“Nikky, you’re as trashed as I am, no way am I letting you drive.”

“Trust me, hot Rod,” Nicole said, slipping her hand into his front pocket and pulling out his keys before he could even blink. As they approached his van, Chris and Ben appeared in the shadows next to them, whispering excitedly as they spotted them.

“As soon as we saw the lights we bolted,” Ben snickered, but Chris looked concerned.

“Yo, I hope Caitlin doesn’t get arrested. There was a lotta booze in there,” he muttered, and Ben smacked his arm.

“You whipped, dude?”

Chris scoffed, “No, I would just feel bad for anyone in that sitch.”

“I agree,” Nicole said, feeling guilty that she couldn’t help Caitlin get out of trouble.

“C’mon, let’s fucking go,” Rodrick said, and all at once the four of them dashed to the van. Nicole jumped in the driver's seat, shoving the key in the ignition with some fumbling, and peeling out from their parking spot across the street from Caitlin’s house with enough force to make even Rodrick proud.

“We’ll make a NASCAR driver out of you yet, Nikky,” Rodrick laughed, whooping as he leaned his head out the window like a dog, the night air tangling through his hair. Ben scrambled up to the front seat from the back of the van, fiddling with the radio before he settled on a station playing “Where Is My Mind” by Pixies. Nicole turned up the volume to its top capacity, concentrating on the road lines in front of her. The adrenaline of avoiding the cops had sobered her up a little, but she was still feeling paranoid from the weed and drowsy from the beer. She drove as slowly as she dared so as not to seem suspicious. 

“Thanks for being our getaway driver, Nicole,” Chris said, his words slurring a little more than she had noticed previously. She looked back and saw him chugging a beer in the back.

“Dude, don’t fucking drink while I’m driving! We’re already in deep shit as it is,” Nicole said, turning on to the main street of downtown Plainview. Just a few more turns and they’d be home.

“You’re deep in something, alright,” Ben cackled, and he and Chris high-fived.

“Yeah, six inches deep in your mom,” Nicole shot back, and Rodrick let out an “ooooooo”, pointing at Ben, “Gotcha, bitch.”

Eventually, by some miracle, they made it to Nicole’s street. She hit the curb as she pulled up in front of her and Rodrick’s house, causing all three boys to shriek in unison. Nicole dissolved into giggles, both in relief of finally being out of danger and in reaction to the boys high-pitched screams of indignation.

“She’s an antique, Nikky!” Rodrick said, jumping out of the van to stumble to the front and assess the damage.

“Oh, I’m fine, by the way,” Nicole snarked, and Rodrick suddenly looked at her intensely, giving her a slightly blurry-eyed up-and-down look. 

“Fine as hell,” he muttered, loud enough for her to hear, and she blushed, biting her lip to keep from smiling too widely.

“Rodrick, can we crash at your place,” Ben asked, Chris making puppy dog eyes at him.

“Me too - I don’t wanna wake my parents up. Our front door is creaky as shit,” Nicole said.

Rodrick sighed loudly, as if he were being asked to do something terribly inconvenient. 

“Yeah, fine. Y’all want mac and cheese?”

The four of them, all drunk and high as kites, looked at each other and nodded in perfect synchronicity. 

As quietly as they could for four fucked up teenagers, they snuck their way into Rodricks kitchen. He pulled out a four pack of Kraft Mac and Cheese microwave cups from the pantry, filling them all with way too much water and sticking all four of them, at the same time, in the microwave.

“Dude, can I eat this beef jerky?” Chris asked, rummaging through the pantry.

“They’re my dads,” Rodrick said, as if that offered an explanation. “If you wanna explain to him why they’re gone, knock yourself out.”

Chris slowly put the bag back, looking put out.

Nicole stood next to Ben, both of them leaning on the kitchen counter. Nicole looked over at him, and he looked back, giving her a little smile. He wasn’t bad looking, but where as Rodrick was endearing because he tried to seem cool and really wasn’t, Ben had an effortless coolness about him.

“Thanks for coming with us tonight, Ben,” Nicole said. The alcohol must be making her feel emotional. After all, they had only just met today.

“Aww, Nikky, of course! I never pass up an opportunity for debauchery,” Ben said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. He pronounced debauchery like “de-booch-ery”, but Nicole was too drunk to catch the mistake. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rodrick glaring at Ben. Dumbass, he has no reason to be jealous, Nicole thought to herself, and gave him a little reassuring wave by wiggling her fingers in his direction.

“Yo, be careful on this mac, its fucking hot,” Rodrick said, pulling the cups out of the microwave. They still had water in them, and the cheese powder wasn’t fully mixed in, but in the moment it was the most delicious thing Nicole had ever tasted.

“Should we watch a movie?” Ben suggested, and Chris bounced on his toes excitedly.

“Killer Clowns from Space!! Pleeeaaaase! You’ve been promising me for weeks now that we’d watch it.”

Ben sighed, Rodrick rolled his eyes, but Nicole had no opinion on the subject, so she made the executive decision to say, “I’m down.”

Ben and Rodrick both groaned, and Chris gave her a fist bump from across the kitchen island.

“Nikky has taste, sorry guys,” Chris said, looking very smug as he slurped his luke-warm mac and cheese.

They all somehow stumbled up to Rodrick’s room - Nicole belatedly realized she had been dreaming about being in his room for weeks, and now that she was here took the time to really appreciate what was in front of her.

A person’s room can tell you everything you need to know about them. For one, Rodrick was messy, but no more messy than any other average teenage boy. Clothes on the floor and the back of his desk chair, thrown haphazardly over a bean-bag in the corner of the room. There were christmas lights strung from the ceiling, both white and rainbow, that gave the room a cozy vibe that Nicole would’ve never expected from Rodrick.

His walls were mostly covered in band posters, and above his desk there was a cork board littered with tickets of concerts he had been to. Nicole almost seethed with jealousy at the sheer amount and quality of concerts he had been to - Leftover Crack, Pleasure Venom, Less than Jake, and one of Nicole’s personal favorites, Mannequin Pussy.

“You like Mannequin Pussy?” Nicole said, whipping her head around to look at Rodrick. 

“That's not the only kind of pussy he likes,” Ben hollered, causing Chris to smack him upside the head.

“There's a lady present, dumbass,” Chris said, and Ben raised his hands in surrender.

“I think you mean that’s the only kind of pussy he gets,” Nicole said, throwing a teasing wink toward Rodrick, who blushed bright red.

“Yeah, they’re good. Romantic is my favorite album,” Rodrick said, scratching the back of his neck self consciously. Ben and Chris started making kissing noises in his direction, and Rodrick threw a pillow at them.

As Chris and Ben fought over who would set up the projector, Nicole let her snooping instincts take over, looking at the other miscellaneous things Rodrick had around his room - empty liquor bottles filled with more lights, a surprising amount of books (mostly graphic novels), a lava lamp filled with miniature rubber ducks, and mushroom paraphernalia. Everywhere. His pillowcases, the tapestry above his bed, and the stickers on his water bottle all had holographic or brightly colored mushrooms on them. She was so absorbed in her investigation she didn’t even notice Rodrick next to her until he spoke.

“Committing it to memory? You might never be in here again,” Rodrick said with a small smirk. Nicole gave him a look out of the corner of her eye.

“I wouldn’t count on it, babe,” Nicole said boldly. She felt the warmth of Rodrick’s hand on her hip, and looked up at him. And his lips. She wanted to kiss him again so badly it was like a drug, her body telling her to get her next fix as quickly and as often as possible. Being in his space, the place he let himself be his most authentic self, was very intimate, even with Chris and Ben still arguing in the corner.

Rodrick looked away shyly, squeezing her hip once before turning back to the boys. Chris had evidently lost the rock-paper-scissors match to set up the movie on the projector, and was adjusting the screen on the far wall of Rodrick’s room, trying to find a website to pirate the movie from.

“If we’re gonna watch this shit let’s do it,” he said, settling himself in the beat up reclining chair he had, arms above his head. He should be illegal, Nicole thought to herself, making herself comfortable on the bed.

Which ended up being a mistake, because 20 minutes into the movie, Nicole was asleep. She felt a blanket being gently placed over her before she was dead to the world.

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

The Green-Eyed Monster

This is a sequel to Water Seeks Its Own Level, although you probably don’t have to read that one for this one to make sense. It’s set a few months after the events of that story. I originally intended to write for someone new but I am just totally smitten with Eddie. He called me back to him. 

Pairing: Eddie Kingston x OFC

Word count: 3,836

Content advisory: a healthy dose of smut and cursing

“Son of a bitch!” You jerk your hand back, wincing in pain and you smack the side of the toaster oven, as if it’s the appliance’s fault you haven’t yet figured out that food coming out of the oven is hot. To make things worse, you actually feel a little guilty for taking your anger out on the inanimate object. You’re in a bad mood. The toaster oven is just the latest thing to make your day worse. 

You run some cold water on your hand before you go back for another attempt at removing the leftover pizza slice that you don’t even want but you figure you should eat something because you’ve poured a couple of beer down your gullet and if you don’t eat something, you’re going to get a headache. 

So you gnaw joylessly at your pizza slice, trying not to notice that reheating it has not made it taste fresher than the three days it’s been in your refrigerator. None of this would have happened, of course, if you’d just gone out with the rest of the crew like you’d assumed you would. There was a Korean barbecue place that a few of the AEW gang had heard good things about and finally someone had taken it upon themselves to get a side room reserved so that you could all go together and have a good time. You’d been looking forward to it. 

But earlier in the day, you’d found out that the group that was going included Eddie, along with his new so-called family: the Butcher, the Blade, and the Bunny, also known as Andy, Braxton, and Allie. It shouldn’t have bothered you. They’d known each other a long time. You knew them all well. They’d all been bugging you to come along whenever they were going out together, or at least they had until recently. 

As things too often did for you, it came down to Eddie. After he’d shown up in AEW, the two of you had rekindled the fuck-buddy thing you’d had going when you were both on the indies. The problem was that now you weren’t just hooking up when you happened to be on the same tour or show: you were together every week, living in the same city, working the same schedule. So your casual, no-strings-attached thing had become a very frequent thing. It had become a leaving stuff in each other’s apartments thing. It had become a casual understanding of at least one night of the weekend together thing. 

What it hadn’t become was a relationship, at least not in the articulated, public, monogamous sense. You didn’t have anyone else in your life. You didn’t want anyone else in your life. You’d spent years telling yourself that Eddie was just someone you could go to for a good time in the sack, and even though you were aware that he always stirred up feelings in you that went beyond a fallback booty call, you kept telling yourself that was all it was. 

Now that the two of you were actually stable in terms of work and living space, though, you’d started to wonder if maybe you did want things to be a bit more stable with Eddie as well. Although you’d never discussed your status, you didn’t have anyone else in your life and you didn’t want anyone else in your life. Even though you were surrounded by beautiful people at work, people who had their shit far more together than Eddie Kingston ever would, it was like they didn’t really exist. You didn’t say that to him because you didn’t want to risk embarrassing yourself. If it was going to happen, it would come out naturally, by which you meant that he’d have to get around to bringing it up. 

Things had been fine until recently, until Eddie had taken it upon himself to reunite Braxton with his estranged wife Allie, the Bunny, so that they could have each other’s backs. At least, that’s what he said he was doing. But it actually seemed that Allie was spending most of her time with Eddie. He was the one on television calling her “the beautiful Bunny” and taking credit for wooing her back to the fold. He convinced her to join them. He was the one she seemed loyal to. Even backstage, when the four of them were around each other, Allie always seemed to be hanging off Eddie’s arm, laughing extra loudly at his jokes, and insisting that he come along wherever she was going. It made your blood boil. 

You didn’t say anything because it wasn’t like you had reason to think that Eddie wasn’t going to have anyone else in his life. And you were even sure if he did, because cuckolding his friend right in front of his face would be bold even for him. You’d gone out with the group of them a couple of times but you’d felt nauseous from jealousy, watching him talk about how great it was that they were all working together again. 

So you’d ended up begging off and just spending time with Eddie when you could be alone. More recently, you’d just started avoiding him because thinking that he was leaving your bed to have a quick shower and then run off to another woman had you crying your eyes out on several occasions. You never said anything, you just stopped returning his texts and stayed clear of him at work. And after a while, he’d stopped messaging and trying to talk to you. Things were over. 

You throw the remainder of the pizza in the garbage. Thinking about everything that’s happened in this weird, hopeless thing with him makes you feel rejected and miserable all over again. You miss him. A lot. But now it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t want anything more with you, that he wants to keep things open, and you know you can’t deal with that. 

The doorbell cuts through the fog of frustration and self-pity, startling you so much that you give a little yelp. You old place had one of those systems when the bell was hooked up to your phone but this one had a buzzer that sounded like an aircraft engine and you didn’t feel like you were ever going to get used to it. 

“Hello?” You mumble, hoping that it isn’t another homeless person looking to sleep in the hallway downstairs. 

“It’s me, can I come up?”

He doesn’t even have to say his name because you’d know that almost cartoonish accent anywhere. It figures that he’d just show up unannounced after eleven, like nothing had been weird between you. Maybe for him, things hadn’t been weird at all. 

“Yeah, sure.” You press the release to open the front door and wait, pacing a little and trying to stay calm until you hear a knock on your door. 

And when you open it, there’s Eddie, his face and jacket sprinkled with rain, sporting a fresh-looking bruise on his left eye that he turns to try to hide it. 

“We haven’t hung out in a while,” he grunts, his eyes a little suspicious and resentful. 

“True. Guess we’ve both been busy.”

You motion for him to come inside, quietly pleased that he remembers to take his boots off. You reach over to take his jacket so that you can hang it up and he looks almost offended. 

“I know where it goes,” he snaps, opening the closet and putting it on a hanger himself. 

You grip his jaw and turn his face so that you can get a better look at the damaged eye. 

“What happened?”

He steps back, pouting like a child who’s been caught doing something he knows he isn’t supposed to. 

“We went out to a bar after the restaurant. Archer offered to buy me a drink, and I said I wanted to buy him a drink. I guess it got out of hand.”

“Two friends try to buy a round at the bar turns into a fistfight. That is so you.” 

You can’t help but laugh at your own joke because it is such an Eddie thing but he doesn’t seem amused. 

“You got something I can put on this?” He grumbles. 

“I have a couple of ice packs in the freezer. Come on.”

He follows you over to the open kitchen with its little breakfast counter while you start lifting frozen entrees out of the way to find the artificial ice. 

“So how come you didn’t come to dinner?”

“I don’t know,” you lie. “My stomach was a bit upset and I probably wouldn’t have been much fun.”

He gives a low cackle. “You just don’t like it when you can’t have me all to yourself.”

You pause from digging through the back of the freezer to shoot him a scornful look. 

“You just want me there so you can have a larger audience,” you retort, standing and producing the ice pack. 

“Who said I wanted you there?”

You slap the cold pack into his cheek, giving a cruel little smile when he winces at the impact. 

“Thank god you never decided to become a nurse,” he growls. 

You can feel his eyes digging into you, searching for an opening. He knows all your fault lines so well, but he knows that there’s something going on with you that he hasn’t seen before. Your body twists under his scrutiny, trying to make it less obvious that you’re avoiding meeting his gaze. 

“So what’s up with you anyway?” he asks, still studying you too closely for comfort.

“Not much. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine with me.”

“What?” You finally look back at him, eyes wide with fake surprise. “Did I say something that made you think I was pissed at you? Did I do something to get you pissed off?”

“Come on. You know what I mean. You barely talk to me at work, you never go out if you think I’m gonna be there. You won’t answer when I message you, or it’s two words long like I’m annoying you. I thought things were going ok with us for once.”

“They were. They are,” you counter desperately. 

He places the ice pack on the counter and arches his brows at you. When you reach to remove it, he grabs your wrist and pulls you between his body and the counter, shaking his head as he presses it hard against yours. 

His hands graze down to your hips and under your shorts, gripping both of your ass cheeks hard and you feel yourself melt against him, as you always do. You incline your head forward until your lips are against his, your arms winding around his neck, and you let yourself fall into the kiss you’d told yourself you were going to avoid. Everything that Eddie does with that mouth of his is magic and every second you spend locked in that embrace, you get drawn further in. 

“I missed this,” he growls softly, giving a hard squeeze for emphasis.

It’s almost painful to pull yourself back from what you want so much but if you don’t extricate yourself now, you’ll be going crazy over him forever, so you force yourself to do it. 

You try to pivot a little but he has you locked in place. 

“Please, just let me put the cold pack back in the fridge.”

“No,” he whispers, giving you an evil little smile before nipping at the skin of your neck. “That’s gonna stay right there and melt and make a mess until you tell me what’s going on with you.”

“That’s not fair!” You whine, trying fruitlessly to reach back so you can at least throw the stupid in thing in the sink. 

“Kinda seems like the Princess has decided she’s too good for me again.”

His lips lock onto the base of your throat and you main loudly. He’s doing it on purpose, tweaking your sensitive spots with his caresses and his words. 

“You know that’s not true, Eddie.”

“I don’t know. I thought maybe you were afraid someone might find out that I was your dirty little secret.”

“It’s not that, I don’t give a fuck who knows.”

That draws a guttural laugh from him and the sound makes your stomach flip. You don’t offer any resistance when he eases your tank top over your head and trails kisses down the center of your chest. 

“So tell me,” he insists, twisting a nipple hard between his fingers, “why I haven’t been getting any of this.”

“Why does it have to be something wrong with me? You’re the one with your new faction or family or whatever, making all sorts of plans and wooing Allie to join you.”

He lifts his head and as soon as you see the smirk on his face, you know you’re done for. 

“Wooing Allie?”

“I don’t know what you call it. You got her to ditch what she was doing and go back with you guys.”

“I call it talking to my friend’s wife and making her work things out with him. That’s not what most people would call ‘wooing’, princess.”

“Whatever, I just meant that you’ve been busy so maybe I’m the one who should feel neglected.”

You fold your arms in front of your chest because the only thing worse than trying to salvage your stupid comment is trying to do it half naked while he gives you that amused look. 

“I don’t believe it. You’re fucking jealous.”

“No,” you whine. 

“Oh yes you are. You think there’s something going on with me and Allie.”

“I guess it seems like you have a bit of a thing for her, at least. You’re always talking about how beautiful she is and all that.”

“Princess, has anyone explained to you that not everything you see in wrestling is real?”

“It doesn’t matter. I just said that you’d been busy and-“

He kisses you again, little ripples of laughter coming out as he does. You return the kiss, diving in and hoping that you can just shut him up and make him forget what you’ve said, and to shut yourself up before you say anything worse. 

“I like this,” he chuckles. “You’re jealous because you think I’m hot for someone else.”

“Fuck off, I never said that.”

The two of you continue kissing, more passionately and hungrier than before, but the next time he pulls back to catch his breath, he goes back to his new favourite subject. 

“I am never letting you live this one down.”

“You can leave any time, you smug asshole.”

He chuckles again, his hand sliding under your clothes, between your legs. He buries his face against you, his lips pressed against your ear as he drags one finger, ever so lightly, from the back of your slit all the way up to your throbbing little nub, repeating the gesture and using his hip to hold you still and stop you from thrusting against him to get more friction. He just keeps up with that ghost of a touch, humming with pleasure the more he can feel your frustration. 

“You want me to go? Really? Because it feels like maybe you’re not so sure.”

You just whimper in need, while at the same time trying to force the desire you’re feeling out of your body. 

He lightly strokes and taps at your clit as he whispers to you, “I like that you’re jealous. But you need to tell me these things, not deprive both of us, ya silly brat.”

His attention then shifts, two thick fingers swirling at your entrance while the two of you bite and lick at each other. You hold out as long as you can, which isn’t long at all, before begging. 

“Don’t do that. Stop teasing.”

“Well what do you want me to do?” he rasps, grinning as you thrust against him, trying to force some more pressure. 

“Fuck me. Stop talking and fuck me through the mattress and into the goddamned floor.”

He lifts you up by your thighs, smiling when you wrap your arms around him to secure yourself as he carries you to your bed. As he places you down, he removes the rest of your clothing in one smooth movement before discarding his own. You kiss playfully for a moment before you tap his thigh. 

“Get up here,” you order. 

And he is most happy to oblige, kneeling over your body and letting you take his thick cock in hand, easing the swollen tip past your lips, sucking and licking while you slowly move your hand along his shaft, occasionally letting your thumb flick delicately along the seam, relishing the yelps this gesture never fails to elicit from him.  

“So you want that even if I’ve been giving it to another woman?”

You growl but the vibrations only increase his pleasure and he starts to thrust a little, pushing himself further into your mouth and throat. 

“Aw, don’t worry,” he purrs, “I’ll always have some use for you.”

At that, you punch him hard in the hip and rake your nails down his ass. He eases down your body, sparkling, mischievous eyes meeting yours. It’s like there’s nothing else in the whole world for you but you know better than to say so. 

“You know what you need to do, Kingston? You need to shut the fuck up.” You push on his shoulders to direct him where you want him to go, and while he takes his time getting there, the journey involves him working his way down your body, like he’s worshipping you. 

“This what you want?” he asks, licking at your soaked flesh. 

“Mm-hmm.” You squirm in anticipation, suspecting that he might try to draw this out longer, so when he dives in and starts fucking you with his tongue, lips and teeth, you let out a loud moan and clench at the bedsheet with both fists. You’re already so close.”

“Lucky for you I have such good stamina,” he hisses. “So I can handle all of these women I’m fucking.”

“You’re still talking,” you groan. “Why are you still talking?”

He gives a harsh bite on the inside of your thigh. “Look at me.”

You glare down at him but immediately feel a little unnerved by the deadly serious look in his eyes. 

“You know damn well there aren’t any other women. I haven’t fucked another woman, haven’t kissed- hell I haven’t even beat off thinking about another woman in months. So let me enjoy this for a few hours until you go back to thinking you’re too good for me.”

With that he goes right back at it, letting you feel the full skill of that constantly moving mouth. You let yourself go, feeling for the first time in ages like you have exactly what you want, what you need, right here in your bed doing everything to make you happy. Your whole body trembles in ecstasy, the tide rising steadily within you, your whines and moans growing ever louder. 

“I love you.”

It slips out so naturally that you almost don’t notice that you’ve said it until he pulls back. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” 

“Get back down there!” You push his head but he shakes you off and now you’re aware you have a problem. 

“Oh no, I want you to repeat what you just said.”

“I don’t remember,” you whine. 

“Sure you do.” He moves to his side next to you, running his fingers over your skin so that you stay worked up, frustrated, and desperate. 

“I fucking hate you.”

“No,” he scolds, “that wasn’t what you said.”

You exhale in exasperation. 

“Let me get you started. You said ‘I’... come on, repeat after me.”

“What makes you think I even meant it?”

“Well you have to tell me whether you did or not, don’t you, princess?”

His finger traces a curved line between your hip bones that only accentuates your overwhelming, unmet need. 

“I’m not hearing anything,” he coos, flicking his tongue over your nipple. 

“Fine!” you roar, hitting your breaking point. “I said that I love you, and yeah, I meant it.”

Grinning, he moves back down your body. 

“Now was that so hard?” he asks just as he buries his face between your legs again. 

You’d love to give a sharp retort but the second he’s giving you what you want, every other thought leaves your mind. You are one pulsating nerve waiting for release and he is expertly guiding you there. Within minutes you’re screaming his name, tears leaking from your eyes as you come down from the best orgasm you think you’ve ever had. 

By the time you can open your eyes, he’s hovering over you, the tip of his cock throbbing against the lips of your pussy. 

“Say it again.”

You groan a little and push against him but it doesn’t work. 

“Say it again and look at me this time.”

His incredible eyes bear down on you and it’s very different than before. This time, you can’t hide the truth of it behind sarcasm and annoyance. This time he can see into you. You’re vulnerable. 

“Come on.” He prods at your face with his nose and lips before once again locking you with that killer stare. “Let me hear you.”

“I love you,” you stammer, trying to read his reaction and more than a little afraid of what that might be. 

He moans a little and pushes himself part way inside you, rocking his hips slowly. 

“Again,” he rasps. 

“Don’t be like this. I said it. I said it twice. What the hell do you want?”

He grabs a handful of your hair and thrusts his face even closer to yours. “Five years. Five fucking years I’ve been waiting for you to come around. So I want to get the most out of this that I can.”

“Eddie Kingston, I love you.”

He lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and thrusts into you harder. 

“Are you going to say it back?” 

“Sure,” he laughs. “When I feel like it.”

He pounds into you with increased vigor, laughing more when he sees your face contort somewhere between fury and ecstasy, your pussy contracting involuntarily around him. 

“You are such a bastard,” you yell, fighting the second orgasm that’s about to overtake you. 

The phrase is barely past your lips when your whole body spasms, pulling him right along with you. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” he pants after a couple of minutes. “I am a bastard. But you finally managed to figure out I’m the bastard you want.”

You can’t help but laugh, wondering if he really did know ages before you did that you were in love with him, or if he was just hopeful. You run your hands over the back of his head and pull on his earlobe a little with your teeth. 

“God help me,” you whisper.

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

hello lovely, could I ask for more info on these two wips:

arwencelot polycule

1x08 1x09 lancelot fix it

cuz 👀... i mean all of your titles make me very very intrigued so if you have one you'd like to talk about instead, plz feel free <3

arwencelot polycule is part of Modern polycule chaos and is basically lance realsing he has a crush on gwen and arthur and ofc hating himself bc im mean and arwen realising the same and just everyone dealing with this but its nice bc there's no great tragedy involved this time its literally just... do you wanna go on a date and lance realises its ok? like his partners are fine with it and i prob won't ever finish it but its nice :')

1x08 1x09 lancelot fix it is actually the last two fics of If Lancelot stayed which are aus of the above eps aka they all help save Mordred, and Lance picks up the black knight's gauntlet. they are very plotty and kinda pendragon focused so idk but i would like to finish them!

“You look happy!” Morgana laughed. “Elyan settling in well?”

Gwen nodded happily. “He and Gwaine are helping Dad at the forge and Elyan actually quite enjoys it now. And Gwaine does love the fire.”

Morgana smiled. “it’s good that he’s got friends.” Yes. Friends, thought Gwen, barely suppressing a smile.

“I saw that big man following around after Gaius. Gaius looked kind of annoyed.”

Gwen smiled. “Yes, Percival does a lot of Merlin’s work now. He looks intimidating but he knows his stuff and besides he’s good at carrying people.” She smirked. “It is strange how many people have suddenly become sick without any symptoms…”

In fact Gaius had got so fed up with all the perfectly well people sending for the… services of his new apprentice he’d taken to sending a highly embarrassed Percival down beforehand to check it was actually a legitimate medical situation. This had worked by and large, expect when Percival had showed up at the forge profoundly traumatised from having to help a pregnant woman give birth on his own because Gaius couldn’t get there quick enough.

oh yeah and there is still a good helping of silliness :')

"Percival! I need to ask a favour."

Percival went bright red. "Merlin, I really don’t think that’s appropriate-"

"It’s really important but I should warn you you will be breaking the law."

"I’m very aware of that!” the big man hissed, still scarlet in the face. "I would’ve thought you would be too!"

"I am!" Merlin insisted, wondering why Percival was making such a big deal out of this. He was already breaking at least ten laws just by being in Camelot with his partners.

Percival folded his massive arms, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "Merlin, you’re courting my partner’s sister, I really don’t think they’d be ok with-"

"Wha- oh!" Merlin realised how Percival had misunderstood and couldn’t help but giggle. "No Perce, I don’t mean- It’s for a medical reason!"

"Yes, that’s what everyone says!" Percival exclaimed, pulling away from him.

“Percival!” Merlin was torn between laughter and wanting to slap him. “I promise I’m not trying to seduce you, I just need your medical expertise."

Percival stared at him suspiciously. “You swear?”

“Yes.” He grabbed his arm and pulled him away, looking about him anxiously. “Come on genius, we don’t have time to waste.”

[bonjour-rainycity]

Double Heart | Chapter Twelve ~ Cosima

|previous part|

Pairing: Haldir x OFC

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 3433

Warnings: None

**Read on Ao3 under the user “bonjour_rainycity if you prefer!**

A/n Sorry for the delay! Thanks for your patience and for reading :) Also, I’m so glad you liked the cuteness of the last chapter <3

I wake to an insistent pounding on my door.

I grumble against the noise and the sunlight, pulling the thick duvet over my head.

“Cosima,” a voice sings from behind the wood. “Rise and shine, it is well past lunchtime.”

I crack open an eye. The sun shimmers aggressively, forcing me into a state of awareness. Too early. But Rumil’s wake-up calls and knocking are insistent, so I haul myself out of bed and dress quickly, running a washcloth over my face and a brush over my teeth. When I’m decent, I swing open the door to fix Rumil with what I hope is a withering glare.

He grins brightly. “You look tired.”

“Wow, thank you,” I deadpan, opening the door wider to allow him in. He jaunts to the chaise lounge and reclines on the pillows, evidently in the mood to borrow the luxury of my guest room.

I offer him a glass of lemon water and pour one for myself, then sit on the couch opposite him.

He gives me a sly look. “You know, Haldir came into our room quite early this morning.”

I freeze mid-sip.

Rumil nods gleefully. “Woke me up—quite rude, if you ask me. Though I do have to wonder, what kept him out so late? Surely he was exhausted from his long day at the borders.”

I take a deep breath, trying to relax the tension that has shot its way into my shoulders. Rumil just likes to tease. You didn’t do anything wrong or scandalous — not even anything of interest.

He continues. “And then I come to visit my friend out of the goodness of my heart and find her sound asleep at two in the afternoon. She greets me at the door with such dark circles under her eyes — did she sleep at all? What was so interesting that kept both my brother and my good friend awake into the early hours of the morning?”

I roll my eyes, trying to seem nonchalant about it. After all, there’s no reason to feel cornered like Rumil is so obviously trying to achieve. “I couldn’t sleep. I was on my way to the gardens when I ran into Haldir and he ended up coming with me.”

“To the gardens?”

“Yes.”

“Late at night?”

“Yes.”

“Alone?”

“Yes, Rumil,” I huff.

He looks positively delighted. “And what did you do to pass all that time in the gardens late at night by yourselves?”

I squirm under his gaze then force myself to stop. It looks suspicious. “We talked a little. And then stargazed. At some point I fell asleep, he woke me up and walked me back to my room. The end.”

“The end,” Rumil echoes dubiously.

“Yes,” I insist, just about done with this conversation. It’s ridiculous — we did nothing to warrant this questioning. “If you don’t believe me, you can ask your brother.”

“I did.” My eyes blow wide in disbelief. Somehow, Rumil looks even more smug than he did a second ago. “He quite forcefully told me to leave him and you alone. Such a strong reaction over a little thing, wouldn’t you agree?”

I fight the urge to groan loudly and instead take a sip of my water. I cross one leg over the other. “Is there something you would like to say or are you just here to interrogate me?”

He shrugs, looking completely unapologetic. “No, I think I am done for now. I’ll let you know if that changes, though.”

“Please do,” I snark.

He stands, placing his glass on the table. “I did actually come here for a larger purpose. Orophin and Lavandil went riding and missed lunch, so we’re having an impromptu picnic in one of the towers. It has some lovely views. Would you join us?”

The emptiness in my stomach begs me to agree, but the word ‘tower’ gives me pause. Rumil guesses the direction of my thoughts and huffs. “The tower is encased in stone, it is perfectly safe. You would have to jump onto the barrier and lean over to be in danger of falling off.”

I consider his words. That doesn’t sound too bad, and I am hungry. “Alright,” I agree. “But I’m inviting Alex.”

Rumil makes a noise of general acceptance and gives me directions to the tower. Before leaving, he snatches one of the thicker quilts from a storage basket. “Cost of attendance is the blanket we use to sit on. See you there!” With a cheeky wink, he disappears, leaving me feeling whiplash from the quick turns in our conversation.

Before leaving to find Alex, I pull a few pillows from the seating area. They’ll make for some extra cushion on the hard stone. And, since Rumil annoyed me, he will not be getting one.

Ha.

At my knock, Alex throws his door open, greeting me with a wide smile. “Hello, Cosima.”

Well, that’s not what I was expecting. I blink and step into his room, careful not to tread on one of the many books and scrolls scattered around the floor. “Uh, you’re more chipper than I thought you would be after yesterday. How are you doing?”

He shrugs, throwing his hands into his pockets. “I mean, it didn’t feel great to find out that Elrond can’t help us, but I am holding out hope for Lady Galadriel. In the meantime, though, I’ve borrowed some materials from the library to see if there’s anything I can learn to help in getting us home. Most of them are in that Elvish language—Sindarin—so I’m having to learn the basics of the language first. Baranor offered to help — we’re meeting this evening after he’s done with his shift in the healing wards. Want to read the English ones with me and then come along? I’m sure he’d be fine with teaching you, too.”

“Um…” I trail off, feeling guilty. I’m attending a picnic with my friends while Alex is pouring over resources and learning the language of this land — he’s doing something helpful to try and get us home.

But if I’m being honest, I don’t want to do research right now. It’s not like there’s likely to be anything we could do, anyway. The best option is to just wait for Lothlórien and see what Lady Galadriel says. I clutch the bulky cushions tighter in my arms. “Can I take a rain check? A few of us are going to the tower to have a late lunch. That’s actually why I came here. Want to come?”

Alex looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “You don’t want to see if there’s something in these books to help us?”

I shift my weight uneasily. “Not now…I haven’t eaten yet, and I already said I would go to the picnic. And I mean, come on, how likely is it that there’s something in those books Elrond isn’t aware of? It’s his library.”

“It has forty-two thousand volumes.”

“He’s lived a long time,” I defend weakly.

Alex’s eyes tighten into a glare.

“Look,” I try, “I’m gonna go eat, but what if I joined you and Baranor this evening? It’s smart to learn the language. And then maybe later I can help you look through these books.”

He sighs and shrugs his shoulders, looking frustrated but resigned. “Yeah, that’s fine. We’re meeting at five-thirty on the second floor of the library.”

“Okay,” I exhale, relived to have avoided a larger argument “I’ll be there. You sure you don’t want to come eat?”

He shakes his head, crouching to the ground to pick up a particularly withered scroll. “No, I ate in the dining hall. See you tonight.”

“See you,” I mumble, backing out of the room. I feel bad for not helping him, but hopefully joining him and Baranor tonight will smooth things over.

Following Rumil’s directions are relatively easy and, before I know it, I’m navigating the hallways to one of the towers built into Elrond’s home.

“Cosima!”

I stop in my tracks and turn at Haldir’s call. He jogs to catch up to me, having just entered the long hallway, and greets me with a pleasant smile. As always, he looks perfectly rested and put together — not a strand of hair out of place. Today he wears a tunic of deep grey, his clear blue eyes standing out in stark contrast.  

“Hi!” I wait for him to fall into step beside me. Unbidden, Rumil’s gleeful teasing enters my mind, and I feel my face go hot. What? I clear my throat. “Are you going up, too?”

“Yes, it’s—here,” he pulls the four bulky pillows from my grasp into his. My arms drop limply at my sides, suddenly relieved from their task. To give them something to do, I tug on the sides of my dress, trying to smooth the wrinkles that have somehow already appeared.

Haldir continues. “Rumil insisted it would be fun and it’s such a nice day I figured, why not?”

We turn a corner and begin our ascent up a tall spiral staircase. I remember a snippet of our conversation from last night. “Has Glorfindel come around?”

The edge of Haldir’s mouth pulls into a frown. “No. I talked with Elrond anyway and he’s agreed to my plan. It has set Glorfindel and myself at odds though, since I went over his head.”

I purse my lips. Though Haldir doesn’t say it, he’s clearly bothered by this outcome — it’s obvious he hoped to resolve things peacefully with Glorfindel and gain Elrond’s support. I hurry to try and make him feel better. “You did the right thing. So what if you went over his head? If it keeps people safe, I doubt it really matters how the plan came to be. And as commander, isn’t it his job to recognize advantageous strategies regardless of where they come from? I wouldn’t worry too much about being at odds with Glorfindel — the two of you will reconcile soon enough. And in the meantime, it’s good that Elrond agreed with you. Now Imladris has more time to better prepare.”

Haldir pauses on the step above me, turning with his head tilted slightly to the side.

I freeze. “What?” Did I intrude? Did I offend him somehow?

“No, it’s—I…” He sighs, offering me a soft smile. “Thank you.”

Oh, good. I breathe out in relief, returning his smile. We resume our climb.

“Elrond gave the order to call up the entire force and rotate the soldiers — they should all be switched in about a week. He’s asked me to oversee their training, to teach the strategies I use with my own guard in Lothlórien.”

I snort. “You’re going to work while you’re on vacation? That’s the most you thing I’ve ever heard.”

He rolls his eyes, but the smile never leaves his face. “It’s important and something I enjoy, so I am happy to help. I haven’t forgotten my offer to you, though.”

I furrow my eyebrows. Huh?

“Do you still want to learn how to defend yourself?”

“Oh! Yeah, definitely, if you’ve got the time.”

He steps onto the landing, moving forward to make room for me. “Of course I’ve got the time.”

I step up next to him—

And immediately return to the staircase.

Haldir alternates between looking at me in confusion and scanning his eyes over our surroundings, wondering what would make me practically jump away from the landing.

He doesn’t have to wonder long.

“You said it was encased in stone,” I shout accusingly over Rumil’s wailing laughter.

“Did I say encased? I meant made of. Whoops, my mistake.”

“Rumil,” Haldir grumbles in annoyance, but that only seems to make his brother laugh harder.

The tower is not, as Rumil promised, encased in stone, but rather a circular platform with only a roof and four stone pillars to protect from falling. There is no guard wall or even a thin railing. And we are stories above the ground.

“Cosima, it’s alright,” Lavandil coos, though her encouraging words are damaged by her giggles. “Elves have wonderful balance, no one is going to let you fall. And look—we are set up right in the middle.”

“If it helps, I can shove Rumil off the tower to demonstrate elven reflexes,” Orophin offers through a chuckle.

This does make me feel slightly better, and I crack a small smile. On the step above me, Haldir waits patiently. Maybe I’m just being silly. I take a deep breath and step up to join Haldir on the landing.

And nearly sway in fear.

To my right and left are open sky — and too many feet below, the hard, deadly ground.

I suck in a sharp breath.

Rumil waves in joyful greeting. “Good to see you both. Now do sit down, Cosima, I worry you will faint and tumble over the edge.”

His words resonate with a very real fear and I scurry forward and practically throw myself onto the blanket. Haldir follows closely behind, offering a cushion to myself and Lavandil before using another to hit his youngest brother over the head. Even in my nervous state, I can’t help but join Orophin and Lavandil in their shocked laughter.

“Didn’t our parents teach you not to lie,” Haldir drawls, dropping the cushion to my left and sitting upon it. He tosses the other to Orophin, raising an eyebrow at Rumil as if asking him to challenge his choice.

Rumil grins, completely unaffected. “Then I apologize, dear Cosima, but your face was hilarious. And don’t you know we all like you too much to let you die?”

I huff, rolling my eyes and feeling better as long as I focus on the faces of my friends rather than the nearness of the edge. “Thanks.”

Lavandil wisely changes the subject. “No Alex?”

I shake my head. “He’s doing some research today. I’m supposed to meet him in the library at five-thirty — Baranor’s going to teach us Sindarin.”

A chorus of approval runs through the group.

“That’s a useful skill,” Rumil nods, taking a sip of what looks like orange juice.

“I’d be happy to practice conversation with you once you learn the basics,” Lavandil offers, and I accept readily. From the little I’ve spoken with her, I like Lavandil, and it would be nice to spend more time with her.

Tired of being the focus, I turn the conversation on my friends. I gesture between Lavandil and Orophin. “How did you two meet?”

Lavandil launches into an animated account of her relationship with Orophin from start to where they are now. Apparently, they met eight years prior when Haldir and Orophin were part of a company escorting Lady Galadriel to Imladris. Orophin was taken with her immediately, but it took Lavandil a little longer to come around.

“I always swore I would marry an architect—anyone but a solder,” she laments with comical exaggeration. “But eventually he persuaded me to give him a chance, and I haven’t looked back since.”

Orophin takes her hand in his and squeezes, staring at her like she’s the center of his world.

I don’t want to pry, but I do wonder how elven relationships differ from human ones. Just the time they’ve been courting—eight years—is much longer than I think is the standard for humans. I am lacking in memory, but surely with how short human lifespans are, they get married quicker? I make a note to ask Lavandil or Rumil about this later. Though, with all Rumil’s teasing of late, Lavandil is probably the safer option.

After I learn how Lavandil and Orophin got together, I have a lot of other questions about the lives these friends of mine lived before I knew them. As afternoon passes into evening, I discover that Rumil—unsurprisingly—has been the instigator of no less than four human bar fights, Lavandil once snuck from her childhood home to try and explore the mountains (and was promptly sent back to a furious mother), Orophin is apparently the life of the party after a bottle of Elvish wine, and, in his first few years of the guard, Haldir constantly challenged his superiors, to the point where they would send him off on solo trips just to be rid of the relentless suggestions. Before I know it, the first stretches of sunset streak through the sky and it’s nearing the time I set to meet Alex and Baranor.

I stand, sighing with no small amount of regret. I wish I could stay here with them all night. “I’ll see you tomorrow! I’ve got to get to the library for lessons.”

Rumil waves goodbye. “I’ll drop the blanket and cushions in your room. You know, as penance for tricking you.”

I roll my eyes, concentrating on his face rather than the open sky all too close to my feet. “That doesn’t even begin to cover it, but thank you.”

“Do you know the way?” Lavandil looks up at me with mild concern. I assure her that I’ve visited the library before and am mostly confident in my ability to not get lost.

Haldir wraps an apple and some bread in cloth and passes me the bundle. In response to my raised eyebrow, he quirks a knowing smile. “Baranor is likely to keep you well past dinner. He loves his lectures.”

I chuckle, agreeing that Baranor probably will, and thank my friend. After a final round of goodbyes, I hurry as quickly and carefully as I can to the security of the stairwell and head in the direction of the library.

{***}

Sindarin is complicated. Baranor seems to have an endless reserve of patience — how? I have no clue.

Alex struggles just as much as I do, but it is clear that he is more dedicated than I and pushes to keep his attention into the late hours of the night. I’m grateful Haldir had the forethought to send me with food, as are Alex and Baranor, who share the dinner. By the time ten o’clock rolls around, I’m fighting back yawns. I think I’ve got the alphabet down, though that isn’t even technically Sindarin — it’s the writing system called Tengwar — so I don’t even have any conversational phrases to try with Lavandil.

At midnight, Baranor finally calls it, acknowledging that he will need some sleep if he is to put in a full day tomorrow of researching with Elrond and doing a shift in the healing wards. But he graciously commits to teaching us three evenings a week after dinner and maintains that, after practice and time, we will improve.

We say our goodbyes and I practically stumble out of the library. I can think of nothing more than my plush duvet and cool mattress. Alex, on the other hand, somehow almost vibrates with energy. He seems rejuvenated, renewed, and for the first time, I recognize him as the same man in my memories — no longer is he weighed down by malnutrition, injury, exhaustion, and defeat. But it’s more than that. He’s no longer angry — hope lights up his eyes. He smiles broadly and insists on walking me to my room.

“Worried you’re gonna fall over, Cosi,” he reasons, sending me a wink. Even in my tired state, I have to blanch. It’s like being with a whole new person. But at the same time, I know this person. I like this Alex. At the very least, I know what to expect from him — he’s the friend I remember.

Though I do worry…what will happen to him if this search for answers is a dead end? What if we can’t get home?

I don’t want to think about how he would feel, then.

I don’t want to think about how I would feel, then.

We climb the stairs and reach my door, pausing outside it momentarily. I turn to my friend, giving him a sleepy smile. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Me too,” he agrees, leaning against the doorframe. “I just needed something to do. Now I don’t feel so helpless. And you’re okay? After yesterday’s setback?”

I sigh against the drowsiness. “Yeah, yeah I’m good. Don’t you worry about me.”

He nudges my shoe with his. “Good. Alright, I’ll leave you alone. Sleep tight, Cosi.”

I smile, waving as he walks down the hallway. “Night, Alex.”

Entering my room, I see that Rumil kept to his word and left the folded blanket on my couch with the four pillows stacked neatly on top. Still doesn’t atone for all his foolishness today. Crawling into my bed, I instantly fall asleep.

A/n Thanks for reading! Let me know if you would like a tag :) Comments, likes, and reblogs make my day! 

|next part|

|masterlist|

Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande

Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist

Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff

[naughtynanzhu]

@martinmynster listen this got so weirdly intricate in my brain bc I got obsessed with it but generally thinking, the timeline works out so it's a few years after zhao jing dies and maybe a year or so after jgy dies... it's important that all of the drama from each universe is pretty separate like maybe theyve caught a whisper of what happened but no real understanding (anygays)

after zhao jing dies, xie wang is like "fuck this" and just leaves he's like so done with the bullshit and he doesn't want to do it anymore and after some time, he wanders into gusu and their meeting is fun, I think, but I'm really considering writing this all out so I don't wanna spoil it but xichens good nature and curiosity gets the better of him and he's like "hey wanderer come stay at cloud recesses for a bit before u continue on"

and xie wangs like super suspicious bc... obviously... but also intrigued bc who just brings a stranger home??? so he decides to agree and he hangs out there for a bit and they bond over music and the whole time u know lwj is like.... where did he find another weird ass evil bastard but wwx is all for it and they become friends

but like the whole time theyre like... SO worried and insecure. like xie wang realizes that lxc is actually a really good person and he doesn't want him to find out about... you know... all the murder... bc he'll abandon him!!!! also he kinda wants to be better and lxc is a great role model (perfectly fills the spot of obsession that he had with zhao jing but like... not the worst person in the world)

and lxc is worried he'll find out about him killing jiggy, but he's obviously more worried that he might BE jiggy 2.0

there is a specific scene I've thought of where xie wangs past very dramatically comes out and OFC lxc is like "well he's been good lately so :^) maybe we're fine :^) he should have another chance :^)" which.... ofc. OFC he does and ofc he's too understanding which xie wang actually kind of hates. anygays that's the same time du pusa shows up bc she's been looking for his stupid ass and u KNOW that adds even more fuel to the drama fire

and there's this whole clash between a neighboring clan and xie wang when they find out who he is and lxc stands up for him and it's chaos like every sect get together is like so fucking tense especially with du pusa and her smart mouth which jc HATES like the two of them fight constantly even like physical fights and eventually that turns into its own little fucked up romance

but they're like the perfect replacement for their lost ones bc xie wang needs someone to devote all of their time and attention to him but he deserves actual support and care instead of manipulation and lxc needs a super bestie and he thinks all the time that if he had done something different, jiggy could still be around and all those things wouldn't have happened and he's haunted by it so when he finds and connects with xie wang who's also a piece of shit but WANTS to redeem himself hes like... "i can't let this one down too" and holding onto him and fighting with him pays off for both of them and it's great they're both happy and I love that

[stuffingisforfools]

So I can’t stop thinking about Bobby killing his own father at like 12 and burying his body in the back yard and the implications of him chasing off John with a gun when Sam and dean were young cause spn never followed up of that because why would they.

But anyways I was thinking about that and about young dean who would do anything to protect Sam and refuses to say a word against a father who most definitely hits him and what would happen if we made John just a little bit more unstable. Sam just a little weirder. But leave dean the same.

What happens when Sam’s psychic powers start themselves earlier. Say he’s 8 years old and sometimes when John is out for a couple weeks and he gets angry or hungry or just frustrated and dean can’t calm him down the lights start to flicker and the shelves start to rattle. Or how sometimes he’ll wake dean screaming babbling about things he shouldn’t know about yet. And it scares dean ofc it scares him. He’s only 12 but he already knows he can’t tell John, knows he wouldn’t take it well and he can’t pinpoint why but he’s so so afraid of what would happen if he finds out, he tries to tell himself that John loves Sammy, that he wouldn’t hurt him, but he doesn’t quit believe it, can’t quite convince himself of a lie that big.

Anyways let’s say that’s been going on for a year or two at this point. And dean has been doing his best to keep it from John. There’s been a couple of close calls but they’re still in the clear. Maybe John is getting a little suspicious maybe not but then dean fucks up and John leaves him at sonnys (Listen I know the wiki says dean was 16 at this point but Sam was definitely not 12 in that flashback and the script says Sam is 9 so I’m going with that) and all of the sudden Sam is alone with John for the longest time since he was little little, since before he started coming into his powers. Let’s be real here John has no idea what to do with Sam on his own for 2 months, he fucks up and Sam is a stubborn shit and they’re so similar that Sam gets angry and shit happens. Maybe the lights flicker or maybe johns glass of whiskey gets knocked over, just enough for John to snap out of his rage, just enough for John to get suspicious but not too big that he can’t brush it off as something he imagined. But still the door has been opened.

Fast forward a couple months, dean is back from sonny’s and things are still tense and dean is so so afraid of being sent away again, of leaving Sam with John, when John comes back from a hunt shaken, dean can instantly tell that something wrong, he won’t stop glancing at Sam when he thinks dean isn’t looking, there’s something in his gaze that dean doesn’t like. Deans on edge for a couple days but John never says anything, even if he does act a little shifty, but the day Mary died is coming up so dean jsut brushes it off as grief, tells himself they just have to make it through the next week and then things will be fine.

But things aren’t fine.

John had finally managed to pin down a demon long enough to get some answers. The demon tells him that Sam is corrupted, that Mary made a deal for access to Sam and that Sam is theirs, destined for greatness he can’t even imagine, that this is the reason that Mary is dead. And John tries to deny it, tries to tell himself its nonsense, that the demon is lying to try and get in his head, but then he remembers what happened when dean was gone, and all these little incidents over the past two years that he’s been brushing off start clicking together, and he knows the demon is telling the truth.

The demon escapes and John goes back to the motel they’re staying in. He can’t stop looking at Sam, trying to see the evil that’s coursing through his veins. Sam is the reason Mary is dead. The thought keeps building and building in his head, he can’t stop thinking about it. And then all of the sudden it’s the day Mary died and things come to a head.

The day starts as it always does it’s not even noon and John is already at the bar, drinking and thinking about Sam and the demon and his beautiful Mary burning to death over his head. Dean is sitting with Sam back at the motel trying to keep him entertained, on high alert making sure to listen for when John gets back because dean knows there’s a couple different ways this day could go and he has to be ready. Last year was a bad one but maybe this year will be different.

It’s midnight by the time John staggers back from the bar, sams all tucked in bed asleep but dean is still up keeping vigil, a gun on the bed next to him. Dean doesn’t know what it is exactly, maybe it’s the way John turns the key or the cadence of his footsteps but dean knows that it’s going to be a bad one again, that John is angry angry angry and he’s going to have to do his best to calm him down before he wakes Sammy. Kid can sleep through almost anything so if dean can get John asleep and calmed down fast enough he’ll never have to know. Dean doesn’t want Sammy to ever have to see John like this.

Except when John falls through the door there’s something different about him, something that wasn’t there last year or the year before that. Dean quietly tucks his gun under the pillow next to him and goes to help his dad to a chair. Dean manages to get John situated and goes to get him a glass of water, but John hasn’t even glanced at him, won’t stop glaring at where Sammy is hidden under the blankets.

and then quicker than dean can react, way faster than a man as drunk as john should be able to move, he’s up and marching towards sam. Dean doesn’t know what going on but dean knows that whatevers about to happen isn’t good, so he does what he always does, and puts himself between john and sam. John staggers to a stop, and roughly motions for dean to get out of the way, but he doesn’t move. And if john was angry before it has nothing on how he is now, he is RAGING. He starts yelling, telling dean to get the fuck out of the way, to let him at the little beast that stole his mary away from him. And dean is in shock, asking john what hes talking about, desperately trying to calm him down, your drunk dad, please please, what are you talking about, lets sit down and talk about this. But john won’t be calmed, you think i didn’t know?? you think anything happens in this family i don’t know about?? and dean is like what dad what are you talking about, he’s trying so hard not to cry rn, and john is like, i know what sam’s done, i know what he can do, and i have to stop him before he hurts anyone else, and then all of the sudden john is puling out a knife and hes shoving dean to the floor, saying im sorry dean but it has to be done, hes evil and someone has to pay for what happened to mary. 

and then theres a loud bang, and john falls to the ground, bleeding out from a gut shot. and dean is looking down in shock at the gun in his hands, he’s shaking. He doesn’t remember reaching for the gun, doesn’t remember pulling the trigger. but john is wheezing and bleeding out on the floor so it must have been him. 

Everything’s a little fuzzy and hes not sure if this is really happening but then sam is crying and dean is on autopilot. He gathers him up in his arms (dean can barely carry him at this point hes getting so big) presses sams face into his neck so he can’t see where john is lying on the floor and walks him out of the room to the impala. The motel is shittier than usual and there was a silencer on the gun so dean is pretty sure no one is going to come looking anytime soon, dean is an expert at knowing what places won’t ask questions, but he knows they cant stay there. Dean shushes sam, tells him to stay put and walks back to the room. 

In the interim john has managed to pull himself upright into a seated position, pressed up against the wall with a hand against where he’s bleeding out. Despite everything john is still angry, he can’t yell but dean flinches anyways when john starts cussing him out, telling dean that he expected more of him, that he didn’t raise him like this, that they need to get revenge for mary and that sam isn’t human, is something that needs to be put down. And dean makes a choice. 

The gun is sitting on the bedspread where he dropped it when he grabbed sam. He may have reacted on instinct when he first shot john, did it without even thinking. But this is different. John has been telling dean his entire life that he has to protect sam, that nothing is more important. And so dean does what he needs to do. And shoots john point blank in the head. 

Everything is a blur after that, when he think back to it he can’t quite pinpoint how he got from the room to the impala to out on the road but hes a good little soldier so he knows what to do even when running on autopilot. He strips the room, gathers up all their things and cleans up as much evidence of who they are as he can. Does his best to keep from looking at where john is slumped against the wall. 

Dean doesn’t remember the walk back out to the car, doesn’t remember telling sammy to be quiet or even making the choice to drive. The next thing he knows he’s is pulling up in front of bobby’s house, staggering to the door with a passed out sam in his arms. It isn’t until bobby opens the door and hands him sam that dean finally gives in to the exhaustion and the stress and the shock and passes out. 

[angelmichelangelo]

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

[waveridden]

JAMIE have you ever considered a modern AU for blaseball because I would love to hear your thoughts on one

cola... have i told you lately that i love you

i know i’ve talked a little about various modern aus however tonight i am thinking about the marijuana family so i present to you:

HIGH ON LIFE: a marijuana family sitcom (name subject to change) (many thanks to @leonstamatis because some of this comes from conversations with them. mostly the jokes.)

here is the setup for this mini universe that lives in my head

dom (23) is the pseudo parent to randy (19) and lenny (14 but she’s almost 15 guys she’s basically an adult) and the three of them have lived in new york city their entire lives but dom gets a job offer that’s too good to pass up... in denver*. so the entire family has to pack up and move to denver.

( * i would do somewhere in utah, bc hellmouth, but i have to be honest. i’ve known several people from utah and all of them have been just like... horrible to be around. so this is a personal bias thing. colorado’s better anyways.)

so our family is in denver now! denver is a major city ofc but it’s still a MAJOR change from new york so that is our inciting sitcom incident. Uh Oh What Kind Of Wackiness Will Our Protagonists Get Up To!

dom works at a warehouse, he’s a shift lead or something like that, and it’s his first ever full time job (as opposed to stringing together three part-time jobs). it’s supposed to be a great job and he fucking hates it but the pay is better than anything in new york and it’s better for the family if he’s here so, well, he’s here

andrew solis is a local union rep who dom gets in touch with because his job sucks and they have a lot of clandestine meetings about union stuff that turn into non clandestine meetings because they enjoy spending time together that turn into a nice normal committed relationship

andrew gets along really well with randy. he’s a nice kid, if a little much sometimes. it’s fine.

andrew is terrified of lenny

you know that john mulaney bit about how a group of thirteen year olds can sense your insecurities? lenny is an entire group of thirteen year olds on her own. she is mean and powerful and andrew is afraid of that.

obviously a lot of dom’s friends (ie the mills) are back in new york but he calls them CONSTANTLY. like, once a day. they are very loud and they love him and they miss him and are so proud of him for helping his job unionize and shit like that. they can’t visit in person often but every now and again they do.

randy gets a job at a local theatre company, which is the last thing he expected to be doing but it’s kind of... awesome? everyone here is super chill and funny and loud and he gets along with them great.

this is the jazz hands. i know they’re in breckenridge. this is my au. they’re in denver today.

his immediate best friend is layna, who does bit parts in musicals and more importantly writes a lot of weird experimental short plays that the theatre produces. she’s a couple years older than him and is far too cool and pretty for him. she tells him this every day and he agrees. she works at a zoo/botanical garden and lenny is constantly hounding her for free zoo passes and stuff (layna agrees because she adores lenny and also it’s an excuse for randy to visit her)

is the botanical garden an excuse to have the flowers players here? yes. geography is less powerful than I Want Everyone In The Same Place

randy’s OTHER best friends are nagomi (community college student/works in the aquarium part of the zoo) and emmett (computer science student at a four-year). most of the time the three of them just chill out and get high and do dumb 19-year-old shit together they’re just three chill friends

do not leave nagomi and lenny in a room together. don’t do it.

lenny isn’t allowed in costco anymore. this is nagomi’s fault

one time randy leaves both emmett and nagomi to watch lenny because surely emmett will prevent any shenanigans. when he comes back nagomi and lenny have stolen three street signs. emmett allowed this to happen because lenny and nagomi specificall stole a sign that said “emmett drive” and they can’t drive and they think it’s funny. so emmett is ALSO not allowed to watch lenny/nagomi

(emmett’s fine watching lenny on their own, it’s just that nagomi “fuck around and find out” nava is too powerful to be overridden)

occasionally nagomi’s twin sibling margarito also hangs out with her randy and emmett. when margo/randy are together they’re A Force To Be Reckoned With. they’re chaotic and easy to manipulate so nagomi can convince them to do some wild shit together. it rules.

lenny loves margo. xe’s never allowed to know this. but she adores xem.

meanwhile lenny is experiencing the worst thing that a teenager can experience: moving during high school. she is doing her absolute goddamn best to fit into the social scene here but it’s so different from new york and she doesn’t know how to handle it

her first friend is kiki familia because i just think fourteen year old girls should stick together and because i think lenny is not above very loudly very rudely making sure that kiki gets all the accommodations she needs

andrew visits one day and lenny is practicing asl in front of a mirror and he’s like oh do you want a conversation partner? because he knows enough to hold a conversation. this is how lenny and andrew form an actual relationship

(andrew is also fluent in spanish and he helps her with spanish homework but she resents this because she thinks it’s nerdy. at least with asl it’s for a good reason.)

and then a couple months later another new student shows up and she is having the opposite experience from lenny because she lived in wyoming for a really long time which is... not a big city... and denver is comparatively HUGE and she’s just really overwhelmed? and lenny is like. oh i can show you around! for sure! definitely! new students have to stick together!

kiki, suspiciously: you’re not new anymore

lenny, very non-subtly: kiki shut the fuck up

this new student is chorby and she gets along great with both kiki (i’m not sure what the analog for magical girl is in a modern au but like it’s something and they bond over it) and lenny, who immediately has a massive big huge crush on her

kiki knows this. kiki mocks this relentlessly.

lenny makes it super super clear that kiki is never going to be the third wheel and kiki’s like yes i am and that’s fine

dom and randy both absolutely adore chorby. she’s so polite. lenny knows that chorby can curse like a sailor and has very specific opinions about screamo bands but when she meets lenny’s brothers she is a saint and lenny is like... swooning over it

and like lenny/chorby are teenagers which means sometimes they get into fights over dumb things and sometimes they get into fights over serious things but they always work it out in the end

there’s definitely a whole Thing because chorby goes to the sadie hawkins dance with juice collins and lenny is like. what the fuck.

is juice a teen? she is in the jamie cassidy extended blaseball teen universe. at least for today

anyways you might notice that there is not a lot of plot here. that’s because this is a sitcom and it is really just a very long setup for me to think about various ideas happening in (i.e. lenny trying to intimidate andrew for absolutely no reason, randy/nagomi/emmett shenanigans) it’s genuinely just like. a fun little world for me to play in when i need it.

the MOST IMPORTANT PART of this au is the family tho. cannot stress this enough, dom and randy and lenny all have family time constantly. they love each other so much. and that family expands to include andrew, and chorby, and emmett and nagomi and kiki and layna, but at its heart This Is A Sibling Story and i love them. the end

[gingyboo]

Mirror Mirror

A/N: Again many thanks to @booglebug

Description- Soulmates existed. People knew that much. Soulmates were rare, a handful in each generation, an unexplainable phenomenon that formed a bond closer than blood and more sacred than marriage.

Bucky finds his soulmate when he needs her most. Little does he know how much she needs him too.

(Soulmate au that slots pretty much in to the MCU but with soulmates. Set after TFATWS.)

Pairing- Bucky Barnes x OFC

Warnings- Mentions of violence and guns, but its mostly fluff, drama and angst.

This is a multi chaptered fic.

Please like, comment, reblog!

prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

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Chapter 5

Sam woke them up the next morning dropping into one of the armchairs with a loud sigh.

‘’Well, isn’t this cosy,’’ he announced, Bucky shot up with a start, but Nancy rose much slower pushing her hair out of her face.

‘’Anything from Torres?’’ Bucky asked noticing Sam was fully kitted out in his suit again.

‘’They’re holding him at an army base off the m20, they’ve approved us leaving from there. So, there’s a high chance they haven’t just let you go, so getting out of London might be difficult.’’

‘’Right so let’s take stock,’’ Nancy said now seemingly alert.

‘’Metal arm, I’ve got the shield and the wings, what can you bring to the table?’’ Nancy sighed racking her brain.

‘’I’ve got a degree in English literature.’’ She answered with a hopeful smile, Bucky snorted.

‘’Okay well we’ve got that too.’’ Nancy left them discussing a plan to go and get packed. She entered her room, pink and white candy-striped wallpaper adorned the walls, the large mirror opposite her showed herself. She stood up tall shaking her head. This was crazy, and yet it was something she’d been trained for. She grabbed a hold-all and made her way through to her walk-in wardrobe. She picked things out for practicality, jeans, a jumper, some shorts and vest tops, Wakanda’s climate being quite different to the mild spring in London. She looked over at her vanity, her grandmothers necklace still laid out from the night before. She slipped it into a jewellery case with some other select items. She wrote a quick note for her housekeeper, Samara, who was due later that day,

‘I’ll be away a few days, don’t worry, I’ll explain when I see you x’

She finished packing her bag and made her way back down the stairs, she could trust Samara to look after her home, but she still hated to leave it. She walked into the drawing room Bucky and Sam were both stood waiting for her. She smiled reassuringly at Bucky who winked at her as she came to his side drawing his hand into hers.

“We were thinking how to get to the airfield, I don’t feel like calling a cab, it could too easily be hijacked.” Sam started Nancy opened her mouth with a suggestion, but Sam cut her off, “Before you suggest it we aren’t taking the ‘tube’ either.”

“I wasn’t going to suggest that, the underground doesn’t go out that far.” Nancy smirked with raised eyebrows. “Actually, I was going to suggest we take my car.”

“You have a car, you didn’t think of mentioning it sooner?” Sam said rolling his eyes.

“Alright so we’ll take the car.” Bucky said smiling at her.

“Well actually, we’ll take the car,” she indicated to herself and Bucky, “it’s a two-seater.”

“Great I’ll fly above, make sure no one’s on your tail.” Sam sighed, Bucky’s smile grew wider. Bucky thought he heard Sam mutter about what kind of car only had 2 seats, this made him chuckle.

They made their way to the back of the house where a door led to the garage. Nancy left Samara’s note on the kitchen counter where they’d find it. Sam looked disapprovingly but Nancy insisted they can be trusted. Her car sat covered in the garage she carefully drew back the cover and Sam let out a low whistle. Nancy smiled stroking the blue chrome finish.

“Isn’t she a beauty,” she mused fondly.

“It’s a nice car.” Bucky nodded attempting enthusiasm.

“You even know what kind of car this is Buckaroo?” Sam asked a look of offence on his face. Bucky exhaled loudly,

“Yes, its, um, a two-seater.” Nancy busied herself filling the boot and left Sam to explain.

“It’s a Mas-er-ra-ti.” Sam said sounding out each syllable, “It’s not just a car.” Bucky nodded in response and made his way round to the driver side door.

“Oh no you don’t James Barnes. My car, my rules, I drive.” She dashed over, blocking his entrance to the car.

“Sweetheart- “

“No no no don’t sweetheart me, have you ever even driven a car in this country, this century at least?” Bucky held up his palms in surrender and made his way to the passenger side. Sam clapped his partner on the shoulder as he strode past, lowering his goggles.

“Shouldn’t be too hard to follow you, she’s not exactly subtle.” Indicating to the sports car.

“No, but she is fast, hope you can keep up.” Nancy grinned wickedly.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting out of London was simple enough, Nancy was comfortable enough on its busy congested roads. Driving with Bucky was a very different experience, he looked around constantly, watching every car that joined the road, looking out for anything close to suspicious. Nancy was calmer, driving was simple to her and when they hit the motorway she pushed the car into 6th gear.

“So, should we talk about how you’re about to meet my dad?” Nancy said brightly turning briefly towards Bucky.

“I hadn’t really thought about it.” This was true, with his whole priority getting her safely to Wakanda he hadn’t for a moment thought of the ambassador and what he might say or do to him should he find out. Nancy had been gracious in accepting him just as he was, past and all, somehow he thought no father would want their daughter to be bound by the fates to a 100-year-old ex-assassin. In fact, he was surprised every day how Nancy had managed to take it in her stride. It was simple to her, he wasn’t that man anymore, the winter solider wasn’t her soulmate, Bucky Barnes was. He found himself staring at her again, where others found it unnerving, Nancy never mentioned it, she caught him and smiled taking one hand off the wheel to squeeze his, holding it tightly for a moment.

“It’ll be fine, I’ll handle him, and he’ll understand, he’ll have to.” She kept her eyes on the road, she hadn’t a clue what her dad would say.

“Will he?” Bucky said quietly.

“I’m not letting you go.” She responded firmly.

Bucky felt a warmth wash over him, like sinking into a hot bath.

He then heard Sam’s voice in his ear,

‘’Two SUVs just joined at the last junction, they’ve been on your tail for the past couple of miles, could be nothing I’m gonna send redwing down, get a lay of the land.” Bucky relayed the information on to Nancy whilst looking out the back window, Nancy saw the two silver cars in her rear-view mirror. She saw a lorry in the left had lane behind her, she quickly darted out in front of it, the two SUVs carried on the lorry blocking them access to the middle lane. They overtook, one pulling in ahead of her. The other attempting to remain level, a BMW frantically flashing its headlight behind it.

“Sit back!” Bucky had his gun drawn pointing it at the driver’s side window, aiming at the second SUV.

“Don’t you dare hurt my car!” She shouted eyes darting left again before flying into the inside lane and up the slip road beyond. The two SUVs had no time to react and were pushed onwards in the throng of traffic.

“Please warn me before you do that.” Bucky said, shaking slightly from surprise. He looked around confused. “Where are we?”

“Not far off now, this is a couple of junctions too early, we’ll have to take the back roads, but that might actually be easier, now we know they’re following.”

“How are you so calm about this?” Bucky said, concerned at her blasé attitude.

“Compartmentalisation. My parent’s divorce, Kit’s death, the blip and now this. I just have to focus on one thing at a time.” She said taking a turn off the roundabout, this led them down a side road. Bucky explained the new plan to Sam who then, reluctantly, gave up following the two SUVs. “I’ve been seeing a therapist since I was 10, she says I do it too much, pack everything into boxes and leave them up there.” She tapped her temple, “I don’t even notice I’m doing it anymore.” Bucky watched her, a question burning on his tongue, what happened when you were ten, he didn’t ask it, another time he thought. It was as if she read his mind though,

“It’s nothing close to what you’ve been through of course, I mean I should be asking how you’re so calm.” She laughed almost half-heartedly.

“You think this is calm? I had a good therapist, and then there’s you, you help a lot.”

“I do?” Nancy said noticeably touched.

“Like my very own guardian angel.” He winked at her.

“Bucky...” Nancy started no clue where her sentence was going. Her skin lit up with goose bumps under his gaze. She felt tears prick at her eyes.

“It’s okay, we’re in this together now.” He curled a stray strand of hair between his fingers. The sunlight streaming through the wind screen lit up the copper tones turning her hair into a mane of shining metallic.

“I want to know who these people are Bucky, I want to stop them.” She said defiantly.

“I’ll stop them, I won’t stop until you’re safe. Katima said they wanted to ransom you for information and co-operation from your father.” Bucky explained.

“You spoke to Katima?” She sounded surprised.

“Yeah, she sent us to rescue you, I didn’t realise you knew anyone from Wakanda.” He said apologetically.

“She’s my dad’s girlfriend, that sounds so weird, she’s his partner, she’s lovely.”

“She did seem worried about you.” Bucky said.

“Dads’ going to be frantic.” She sighed.

“Maybe we should leave telling him about us for a while?” He suggested dryly, this made Nancy smile.

“Don’t chicken out on me Barnes.” She smirked, “He’ll only be more annoyed the longer we leave it.”

“That does not fill me with confidence.” He laughed lightly. They drove quietly down the twisting road. As they neared the airfield Sam dove down flying alongside their car. The gates granted them access on the first sight of Sam, they made their way up to where Torres was sat on the steps waving to them. Nancy tossed her keys to the nearest member of ground crew.

“Please look after her, I expect her back in one piece.” The man looked as though all his Christmases had come at once, his mouth gaping at the Maserati. Bucky took Nancy hand as they walked towards the jet. Sam was already aboard, hanging out the military jet.

Before they could reach the stairs a loud gun shot fired behind them. Bucky instinctively spun round pushing Nancy behind him, a man stood all in black, skin milky white, he could have been 30 or fifty, a cloud of dark hair surrounded his head.

“Give me the girl!” He shouted, voice clear and calm.

“Not a chance!” Bucky called back, his own gun drawn “get to Sam now,” he hissed behind to Nancy, she didn’t move a muscle.

“Nancy, come with me.” The man continued. Nancy stood defiantly, feet routed to the spot.

“Go now,” Bucky said louder this time. More mean appeared now, each wearing the same masks as the men from the night before. They appeared from the same silver SUVs as they’d encountered on the motorway. The men held up arms against the military personnel of the airfield.

“Christopher is alive!” The man shouted. Nancy’s composure broke.

“Liar!” She came out from behind Bucky and stared the man down. Bucky reached out catching her arm in his metal one.

“I’ll take you to him.” The man continued.

“Nancy,” Bucky started, she looked over her shoulder and smiled. From above their heads Sam swooped down, the intruders so focussed on Nancy they hadn’t been watching Sam. He gripped the black hair man by the shoulders and shot straight up in the air. His men followed them with their eyes. The brief distraction allowed the soldiers to overpower the masked men. Nancy ran up the stairs, Bucky helped her up into the jet, Torres was already initiating take off. Bucky brought her over to the bench, strapping her in securely. He knelt in front of her. Her head hung to her chest.

“Nancy, I’m so sorry,” he muttered, cupping her face in his flesh hand.

“It’s not your fault, that bloody bastard!” She shouted, Bucky saw Torres jolt at her outburst from the cockpit.

“Any chance he was telling the truth?” Bucky asked quietly, Nancy shook her head.

“Kits’ dead, he’s not coming back.” She ran her hands over her scraped back hair. Bucky raised himself onto the seat next to her.

“You should have gone when I told you to.” He Sid quietly taking her hand and running his thumb over her knuckles.

“I wasn’t going to leave you there. All alone.” Shook his head smiling, gently drawing her hand to his face and kissing her fingers. Nancy freed her hand from his grasp and cupped his cheek. “I’m not going to leave your side.” She whispered. He lowered his forehead to hers, closing his eyes.

Sam entered the jet with a bang as he landed on the metal floor. The couple jumped apart quickly.

“I’m sorry, were you two having a moment?” He jested, raising his eyebrows at the pair. He closed the jet’s side door and they all felt Torres increase the planes’ altitude.

[completeotometrash]

Hanakaki (Yukimura angst)

TW: Includes death, blood, and one sided love. Has a sad ending, as well. (Ofc, it’s angst. Lmao)

She/her pronouns

On a side note: This is my first real attempt at writing angst, so I apologize if it’s not sad enough,,, (Although, I think it’s pretty mf sad.) I was thinking of making this a series including all of the warlords getting the fictional disease? I just find the concept really interesting, and, I would appreciate it a lot if you guys could take a moment to share your thoughts and comment whether or not if you’d like this as a series!

I wrote this on complete impulse instead of working on the negleted stuff in my askbox, YOLO-

Yes I just used “YOLO” in a sentence and it’s the year 2020, yikes.

For those of you who are unaware of the Hanakaki disease: It’s when a victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from a one sided love. Over time it becomes deadly, and suffocates the victim. There’s two ways you can overcome the disease, the first- of course, being when your love for the person is no longer one sided, as the second is a potential surgury; if you recieve it, as it may save your life, you can never feel love again.

....................

His chest grows tight, painfully tight.

Familiarly tight.

His throat burns with each swallow, as does each slow breath he tries to suppress. Everyone is laughing with joy at the table in which he sits. His eyes look around the room, scanning each of their expressions- a sad attempt to distract himself from the pain. 

A pain that increases when his now blurry vision focuses on her. 

She smiles, setting down her cup. She carries it with her own sort of grace, unlike anyone else in the room. Of course, her still in tact sobriety probably plays a part in this.

Actually, her sobriety had nothing to do with the way she moved. How she set the cup down was completely normal, it hit the table with a gentle clink. How can one even have grace when holding a simple wooden cup? Ridiculous.

In Yukimura’s eyes, everything she does has some sort of unique way to it. Not because he was drunk. Not because of the people around her. Yukimura is in love with her. Oh so desperately, smitten.

His hand grips onto the table, knuckles white from his insane grip. He stifles a cough, mouth full with a sticky, iron tasting, substance; his own blood. Quickly, and without a word, he leaves the room. His frenzied walk becomes a fast trot until he is outside.

Knees weak, they meet the soft dirt, and his shoulders begin to shake. His body becomes heavy as he coughs ferociously. Soon enough, between each desperate gasp for air, are the same florescent pink petals drenched in his blood. The thorns scratch his throat. He fears what they could do to his voice. Perhaps he would lose it, live the rest of his days mute.

At the end of the day, even a life mute as long as she is in his presence is a good one. The thought once again makes his now daily cycle repeat its self. 

When he finishes, he wipes his mouth clean; ready to go back and pretend this never happened. He figured he will say he drank a little too much, and was feeling sick. Yes, that will work just fine.

Or at least he thought it would, until he turns around.

There she leans against the castle wall, arms crossed in an unformal- but of course, beautiful way. The bright moonlight shines just enough for him to make out the details in her distraught expression.

Yukimura’s eyes widen, and he wonders worriedly as to how much she just witnessed? What she would think of him, after looking so vulnerable and weak before her.

Before he can even say anything, she’s moving forward, her hand gently touching his cheek. He blushes, pulling away quickly as he coughs for the third time tonight. A new personal record.

She watches the stained petals fall to the ground, biting her lip. Yukimura continues to cough, but this time, the pain is more excruciating than before.    

After his croaking, there’s silence. An awkward, long period of silence.

“How long have you had it?” He flinches at the sound of her voice. The happiest noise in the world for him now sounds so sad.

It’s challenging, but his dry lips manage to curve into a big smile. A fake one, that is so wide it travels to what he hopes are his convincing eyes. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. We should be getting back.” He walks past her, legs screaming begging him for rest.

“Cut the shit, Yukimura.”

Once again, there’s silence.

He turns his head to look at her. She stands still before him, taking a mostly clean petal from the ground that he expelled only moments before.

“You have Hanakaki disease; and it’s clearly getting quite severe. How could you not tell me?”

He slowly inhales, looking at the ground in shame. He wished to tell her, he really did. As a matter of fact, he’s wanted to tell her everything about the matter. How she is the one he longs for, how his lungs and heart burn for her. But, when the disease is revolved around an unrequited love, what’s the point?

So he stays silent, hoping she’ll just forget about it for the time being. 

“So, you don’t want to talk about it?” She gazes at him longingly, trying to read his face. She finds nothing. “Fine.”

MC takes his hand, dragging him to a nearby seat. Gently, she plops beside him with hoax gusto. “Then I suppose we’ll just have awkward small talk until you do. Allow me to think.”

Almost in a joking manner, she rests her hand on her chin, looking off in the distance. Moments later, her face lights up with excitement. 

She’s so cute.

“This morning’s weather was terrible! The wind was so cold, I believe it gave me whiplash. What do you think?” He can tell she’s trying to sound casual, but her pitiful voice crack a the end makes her feelings obvious. His brow furrows as he dryly exhales.

“There was no point in telling you, Dummy. I’ll be fine, you don’t need to worry about it.” His voice is raspy still, desperately in need of hydration. 

Her posture straightens as she stares at him, clearly irritated. 

“Listen... Have you even talked to this person? Do they know what you’re going through?”

Yes-

“No.” A lie. One used to protect her from the pain he knows she’d feel if the truth was revealed. “Can we just stop talking about this and go? The guys are going to start getting suspicious, and I don’t want Shingen to get annoying because he has the wrong idea.” 

She now looks down, closing her eyes sadly. He notices her hands clench the silk fabric of her kimono, fabric he bought her when they first met. Oh how unbelievably good the shade of red looks on her; his color.

“Alright. But please tell them soon, before it’s too late. You’re an amazing man, Yukimura, anyone would be extremely lucky to have you. I care for you too much to see you die.” With that, she stands, walking inside without looking back.

What did that mean? 

His heart beats in his chest quickly, thinking of her last words.

“I care for you too much to see you die.“

Perhaps it was possible if she felt something for him. Interest beyond platonic? He ponders on, the new hope of living a long and happy life with her. 

A chance to be with the woman he loves.

He gasps, blood dripping out of his nose and mouth now. There’s petals everywhere, suffocating him as his mouth fills with more and more. Yukimura’s airways are blocked.

No, I need to know if she can ever love me! This can’t be it!!! 

He swallows some petals, immense pressure on his chest as he clutches it. His mind grows fuzzy- as he is unable to form any proper thoughts.

No...

He collapses to the ground yet again, and there’s a moment where his body finally relaxes, where he feels almost at peace. His hope is not strong enough to keep his heart beating.

I love you, MC. I really do... I’ll never forgive myself for not telling you that.

And with his final gasp for air, his mind is brought into a black abyss, and his body goes limp- death taking its turn.