#i like to think no one would recognize meta knight without his mask

[pinkd3mon]

Just wanted to draw something about Meta Knight being a little gremlin

[desultory-novice]

"Beast" Language in Kirby

This idea came about via a Twitter conversation about Leongar (who is actually a good character, y'all! Don't be mean to the Beast Pack!)

So, Leongar speaks "Beast" as all the members of the Beast Pack do. When Fecto Forgo decided "this is my guy" he gave Leongar the gift of "human speech." Speech he didn't give the rest of the Beast Pack, who continued to talk to each other in meows, growls, and...whatever noises armadillos make? One of the first interesting concepts to emerge from this discussion of language was, did he keep those abilities even after Fecty's loss? Does Leon ever get frustrated or tired and begin roaring Earth invectives in "human-ese?"

(Does he know the lyrics to "Welcome to the New World?" XD )

But perhaps even more interesting, just going by character popularity (XD) King Dedede worked with the Beast Pack for... a while. We don't know how long he was in the Forgotten Land but the Waddle Dees had time to set up a whole town - twice. Does this mean King Dedede can now speak fluent "Beast?" ...Or could he ALWAYS speak fluent beast? (The language of his people, long ago?)

-

Sorry, sorry! Dess loves the "baby penguin walked through a random rift one day and ended up in Dream Land" theory! >w< 

-

And Daroach! (You knew I was going to bring the rat in.) The reason I bring up Daroach is quite simply because of "the squeaks." Not The Squeaks, his band of thieves. I mean the squeaking noises he makes!

Daroach "talks" in squeaks. You can hear it by putting on his dress-up mask. It's identical in practice to Clawroline's meows! (O-Of course, if one were to follow that logic off a cliff, it would mean Adeleine talks in "Sparkle-ese" but maybe that's what "human" sounds like to Kirby and the gang without the benefit of Lab Discovera and Fecto Forgo's "automatic galactic translation" feature/abilities!)

Again, I can't help but think that Daroach has ties to the Forgotten Land. And interestingly, if he and Meta Knight get along so well in extended media :cough cough: does Meta Knight ALSO speak "beast?" Has he studied it? Enough for basic comprehension?...

His obsession with books even in game canon means knowing a few unusual languages is not beyond him. (Plus I know many latched onto the idea from the RtDL novelization that he can at least recognize written Halcandran, even if he can't speak it fluently.)

I'm going to leave whatever language Magolor speaks (since it's probably NOT Halcandran now???) and the Jamba language out of this for now, as if the Lor uses Halcandran text, we at least know it's not a one-to-one match with FL-ese as it exists in the New World.

(Speaking of, the Lor text is used in Kirby's Air Ride! Game Theory: Ancients made the Air Ride Machines?!?) And though Jambandran is spelled similar to the way FL-ese is pronounced in Neichel's song, it's not identical either. But that's probably language drift!

[loaflovesdoodling]

ooh! can you tell us more about your metadad, perhaps (tumblr isn't letting me use interrogation marks wth)

If it's infodump you want, infodump you shall get! [small fic at the end too because writing is fun :)]

Ok, so, here's the thing:

In my AU Kirby isn't fully Meta Knight's biological child. That being for the simple reason that Nightmare tampered with Meta in the past, screwing his genetics; reason why Meta has wings even without being one of the heroes of Yore. Kirby, being made out of pure light matter is therefore Meta's chronological and -for the most part- biological child, but Nightmare's Influence on Meta basically cut off a lot of genetical/natural ligament with him.

That being said, Meta Knight loves him nontheless, he would literally give his own life away for him and he always tries to make him happy no matter how devastated he himself might be in that moment.

Here are some fun facts!

Meta Knight talks to Kirby about emotional stuff especially when he (the latter) is asleep.

After long and difficult fights with demon beasts, Meta Knight will refuse to go to sleep that day just to watch over Kirby the whole night, fearing that he'll be taken away.

Simply having him hold Kirby close can save Meta Knight from multiple panic attacks.

He spent months learning the perfect intonation and pronounciation of the best lullaby he could find just for Kirby.

He's apparently also very good at sewing (As seen in that one Pengi episode, where everyone sews their penguin disguise by themselves,) and he likes to take advantage of that skill to sew tiny beanies and plush friends for Kirby.

Now, onto the fic! (warning, extreme angst torwards the end)

The young knight had woken up in cold sweat. How could he had fallen asleep so easily?

Surely enough, his dreams hadn't been 'sweet' either: the familiar vision of blood on his hands was all he could remember. Meta Knight shook his head:

"Collect yourself, Meta, be cool. None of these dreams have meaning, you shouldn't take them so seriously." He scolded himself, sighing.

"Perhaps I should start today by putting a smile on; after all, I couldn't possibly give Kirby a bad example-..." He stopped immediately as he turned to the bed only to find no one there. Meta Knight frowned:

"And of course he's already out and about. I should've expected this, he is still a child after all." The knight said. He could not, however, hide the slightest glint of purple worry in his bright golden eyes:

"I'll start looking for him. you'll never know..." He anticipated, trying to justify that overwhelming feeling. Putting on his mask, cape and shoulder pads, he got off the bed and walked over to the counter to wish Sword and Blade a good morning; they, however, weren't present either: disappointed, the soldier walked out the room.

Patrolling Castle DeDeDe's corridors, Meta Knight noticed Dreamland's silence. The oh, so unusual, terrifying silence. He could feel the weight of each one of his quick steps on the cold tiled floor. Almost completely sinking in his own thoughts, he snapped back to reality upon recognizing the figure of Minister Parm's daughter; quickening his pace even more, he walked up to her:

"Fumu."

The young girl jumped: "Oh, it's just you, Sir Meta Knight."

"Have you, ah... perhaps, seen Kirby, this morning?"

"Not really, now that I think of it. Knowing Kirby he's probably out playing with Bun in the yard, though--"

"Thank you for your assistance." Meta interrupted her, before walking away, his subtle rudeness leaving the kid with her eyes widening in surprise.

In his search for the pink warrior, Meta Knight just so happened to come across the throne room. Convinced of the possibility of clues about Kirby's disappearance, he decided to eavesdrop on King DeDeDe's conversation:

"You have our gratitude, King D3."

"Aw yeah, ain't nothing like a deal as great as this one: I get rid of an annoyin' obstacle and y'all give me money fer it!" he cackled.

"I can assure you this decision will not be of any regret."

"It better not be!" he talked back.

"Very well then. I shall take my leave now." The familiar voice said before being cut off by a loud buzzing sound.

"Who knew defeating Kirby had always been as easy as just sending him over at Holy Nightmare? You sure are a genius, your majesty!" the snail added.

Meta Knight's eyes widened in shock, turning into a tint of blue-ish white as he started uncontrollably shaking. So many horrifying thoughts wouldn't leave his mind:

Kirby was gone.

He was in Nightmare's possession.

And God knows what he could've done to him already.

The knight's vision progressively blurring as he started to feel heavy, an increasingly louder heartbeat blocking out every other sound in the castle.

Immediately, Meta Knight awoke, jumping out of his bed. His heart rate completely unsteady, he started grasping for air: his breaths were dangerously short and fast, and he couldn't even feel his now shaking hands anymore. He gazed over to the other side of the bed: Kirby was there, he was safe, all that happened was just a horrible nightmare. He quickly picked up the sleeping child and wrapped him tightly in his arms: the warmth of his son's fragile little body transferring onto him as his breath started steadying. Calming down, the knight fell back asleep.

Sorry if it's a little long and incoherent, haha. This is my first fic <3

[the-spam-specialist]

“Party Corner” Preview

Because I can’t stop myself

Summary: There’s a party at Dedede Castle and Magolor is surprised to get an invite. When he arrives however, his nerves get the better of him when he finds himself surrounded by people he doesn’t know. He retreats to a isolated corner where he plans to hide, but it turns out this corner is already occupied. By Meta Knight. 

------------------------------

Magolor slowly backed into his new little safe space. He focused on his breathing. It was alright. This was just another new thing he would have to get used to. Add it to the pile. Still, he didn’t think he would be so overwhelmed by something as simple as a party. Being surrounded by unfamiliar faces certainly didn’t help. 

He put on the Master Crown and fought the universe’s greatest hero without hesitation but found himself cowering at a party. Wow, he really was pathetic

. He kept backing up into the corner, muttering to himself. 

“Okay okay, it’s all okay. All I have to do is wait in this corner until the party is over. Or until it’s appropriate to leave. Easy? Easy. Just me and my corner.”

The mage thought his back finally hit the wall, but he knew something was off when it was cold. And metal. And round. 

“I’m afraid this corner is occupied.” 

Magolor resisted the urge to scream. But he still borderline jumped out of his skin. He recognized that voice, and turning around let his eyes confirm his suspicions. 

“Meta Knight?!”

The masked knight was idly standing in the corner, his cape wrapped around him. He nodded at the mage, speaking flatly, “Magolor.” 

Magolor was quickly becoming flustered under Meta Knight’s harsh stare, “Wh-What are you doing here?!” 

“I was invited.” His voice remained neutral, though there was a slight air of tension around him. He narrowed his eyes a bit. “Did you not expect King Dedede to invite me?”

“No no no, it’s not that, it’s just, um…” Magolor’s back wasn’t facing the corner but he still felt backed into one. He didn’t mean for his question to sound so rude. He rubbed one of his ears as he tried to save himself in this conversation. “You don’t seem like a party type of person. That’s all.” 

A moment of silence passed by. The tension in the air was so thick that the mage was tempted to try and cut it with a knife. Meta continued to stare at him and it made him beyond nervous. 

Magolor’s relationship with Meta Knight was…complicated. Out of everyone he betrayed, Meta was the one who rejected his return the most. And while the knight claimed to have forgiven him, Magolor couldn’t help but doubt that he was offered true forgiveness. Why else would he be the target of these nerve-wracking glares?

Meta Knight had been the most suspicious of him during the Master Crown scheme. Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised about the knight giving him the cold shoulder. 

Though, despite the tense silence between them, Meta Knight’s glare did soften up a bit as he finally spoke up. 

“Hm. A fair observation, I suppose. It’s true that I am not an outgoing person. But I theorize that we came to this event for the same reason.”

Magolor tilted his head, “Same reason?” 

“We came because Kirby wanted us to.”

[shevee-the-word-wielder]

Creature of Soul Matter: The Emotion in Heart

Chapter 1: Found

Next ->

I apologize for awkward spacing, it's normally good but Tumblr has some weird spacing in of itself.

Creature of Soul Matter: The Emotion in Heart AO3

Nothing.

A nothing unrecognizable until now.

A nothing that existed for so long but all of it without memory… until now.

A something outside, a lightless glow, a something that makes the nothing

recognizable.

It draws nearer.

It sparks sensation in... me.

I can feel again,

Emotion,

Memories,

… thoughts.

The nothing now me from the inside and out.

The something is moving.

It has a likeness to me.

It is nearly me.

Some closer.

I can feel it now.

It's not a something but a someone.

They have thoughts and emotions like what I now do.

I can sense their soul, it destroys the most outer nothing and I can recognize where I might be.

I'm in something, a soul forcefully put in one not ment to hold it.

I remember names. If they were allies, enemies… friends, I can't remember.

Gartihall,

Maniluce,

Plaige,

Tearories,

Galacta Knight,

Many others come to me…

But finally, Fecto Elfilis.

The creature draws ever so nearer.

I am Elfilis, I am a thing that used to exist outside this nameless prison. I had a body, I had thoughts, I had emotions, I had…  I have regrets.

The soul comes closer.

It recognizes me, it sees me, it knows me, it wants to come to me.

…

It's right next to me. The outside world now there. It's looking down on me. I am within a blade; a small, crescent shaped blade. It's black as deep space and lined with a white aura.

It picks me up, I feel their… his, thoughts.

He's looking at me curiously, "what are you?" He says in his mind.

I am unable to see him, only feel his soul, the sensation blocking his visibility…

"I have a better question. Who are you?" I respond.

He jumps a bit.

I can hear again.

"Elfilin!!" A cheery, high voice calls.

"Oh! Uh, Kirby!" Elfilin calls back. "I found this super weird blade!"

A pink little blob approaches, happiness just radiating off of him.

"Oooooo!" Kirby's interest is peeked.

"And it talked to me when I picked it up! It was really weird…"

Kirby gasps, "Can I see can I see?!" He begs.

"Oh o- okay." Elfilin stutters.

No! "Don't give me to him! You still have to expla-!" I'm cut off as Kirby gains hold of the blade.

"Ooooo." He's awestruck as he turns me around. "CAN YOU HEAR ME!?" he screams at me, mouth wide open. "CAN YOU TALK TO ME TOO?!"

I'm dazed, "can you not yell at me like that?" I try.

Kirby doesn't hear me. "Ohhh… the sword doesn't want to speak with me…" he mumbles, disappointed.

"Can I see it again?" Elfilin asks.

Kirby hands me back to Elfilin.

"Please don't do that again…" I say once I'm in his hands again.

"Oh, so I guess you can only talk to me?" He thinks.

I hear a call from down the hall.

"Kirby! Elfilin!"

Both of them turn to the entrance as someone walks up to it. "There you two are!" He has a deep, fun voice. There's a lot of authority behind it, yet with a whimsical, child like feel.

"Dedede!" Kirby yells as he runs over and hops onto the large penguin's stomach. "Look what we found look what we found!" He gleefully says.

He hops down, grabs Dedede's hand and starts pulling him towards us.

Elfilin holds me up for Dedede to examine.

"This is a cool lookin' blade! That's for sure!" He seems slightly confused, "nice find you two!"

"It's not just cool looking, I think it's alive." Elfilin explains to him. Dedede's confusion growing.

There's a new voice, "alive?" It says in it's deep, sturdy voice.

Dedede turns around, "oh! Meta Knight! Come over here and take a look at this!" He gestures to me.

Meta Knight looks similar to Kirby but dark blue with a mask and cape. He flies over… and apparently he has wings.

"Would you mind if I see?" He politely asks Elfilin.

"Oh uh, sure."

Fine Elfilin, I guess I'm a gemstone with no value in piles of rubble, ment to be shown to everyone.

Elfilin hands me to Meta Knight. He closely examines me, his yellow eyes squinting.

"Oh there you guys are!" Someone calls from the hall.

"Bandee!" Kirby gleefully cheers as someone runs over to us.

"Bandee, Meta Knight, Dedede, Kirby and Elfilin… quite the crew!" I try to think to Meta Knight.

Meta Knight sighs, "I'm sorry, but I don't think your blade speaks." He apologies as he hands me back to Elfilin.

Elfilin lightly sighs, "yeah, I figured, I think it only speaks to me…"

"Hmm, well we should be on our way. We still have plenty of more places to visit." Meta Knight says.

Elfilin doesn't respond, instead he studies me with careful intent. I get a chance to properly look at his eyes. It seems like an entire galaxy floats around in them, completely blue.

"What are you, little creature?" I ask.

He responds with a thought, "Well, I'm not entirely sure, it's probably too complicated for right now. Do you know what you are?"

"Perhaps, but it's best to not say until I'm certain."

He sighs.

"Come on Elfilin!" Dedede calls from the entrance. "If you plan on bringing your new toy, don't hurt anyone with it!"

"Okay, I'm coming!" He calls back.

"Please don't leave me. I've been stuck in a prison of nothing, not even thoughts, for an unknown amount of time. This is the first time I've been able to think for who knows how long!" I plead before he can even move.

"Okay okay, I'll bring you along." He complies.

He flies down the hall, silently humming to himself. A dark buzzing comes from his mind, something I faintly recognize in myself, though in a less complete form than his… trauma?

He pulls me in close once we go into another hall. I can tell what he looks like now, with his big ears and head, with some small limbs. And most of all, he's cyan, a color that sparks memory of myself.

I think I realize something, "Elfilin, you have a likeness to me that none others have had, you can communicate with me while others fail to do so. You may be my way out of this… Can you help me?"

He thinks for a second, "I don't know if I can, but I guess I could try…"

I sigh, "Thank you. Even if nothing works, thank you for trying."

He pulls me in a little closer, basically hugging the hilt. I can get a better look at his soul now and it seems… incomplete. Far from it actually, he seems to be the piece of an incomplete something else.

I try to think about this, but I'm too distracted by the overwhelming positivity and at the same time negativity of his seemingly broken soul.

I sigh, giving up. "Good luck." I say to him before letting myself rest.

[helloblobbyblobfish]

A plant boy in space

Synopsis: Later down the line, when Jason is a recognized vigilante of Gotham, he gets a membership in the JLA. The meeting with new heroes doesn’t necessarily go well.

We really don’t use enough the fact Superman’s first choice of a hero for his son to turn to if he is missing is Nightwing. or how much everyone in the Titans, which means many powerful and well-recognized heroes, is ready to follow his orders. And I heard there is a story where he just has to ask for every hero to go inside another dimension, without explanation???!? Like, Dick can basically get anything he wants, at this point? He is THE leader of the super community! Why isn't this more often seen in fanfic? (Or maybe I just didn't read the good stuff. Recommendations welcomed)

This idea for this chapter came to me when writing chapter 1, about a meta Jason's encounters with the rest of the superhero community. There are plenty of stories not yet written that happened between "an apprentice flower boy" and this. But don't worry, nothing is really needed to know.

-

It was Dick who proposed that Jason join the JLA.

“It's this week that the annual selection for new members is happening. I have quite a lot of say-so in the hero community. Don’t worry, Jayman. They probably won’t even ask for precisions about you if I ask if you can join.”

Jason, reading The American Gardener, laughed and answered: “Right, Dickie-Bird. Your opinion is definitively over the bick scary bat’s in terms of importance in the eyes of Superman, The Flash or Martian Manhunter. Can you get me the autograph of Wonder Woman too?” You know. As a jest.

Too busy reading about petunias, he didn’t notice Tim and Damian's worried looks, nor did he care much about Bruce’s growl. “Jason.”

“What? Let your golden child have his fun!”

Because Bruce followed Dick who suddenly had a call to pass, Jason focused again on his reading. 

Bad idea.

The following day, Jason was gifted with an actual, mother-of-all-that’s-holy autograph from Diana Prince “For Jason. Heard you’re one of my longest-running fans. I asked Etta. You wrote quite a few letters to the Holiday Girls. WW”

The teasing Dick was giving him and the outrage of Damian for him playing favorites with another hero than their father was totally worth it.

What was harder to swallow was the hologram of Superman.

“Hello, Red Hood. We received quite a generous amount of praise and demands for you to join the Justice League. We are thrilled to announce to you that, of the eight people with voting power, seven accepted you. We would like for you to join the JLA as soon as possible to get an identification code. Thank you very much.”

Jason turns towards the awkward dark knight in a corner, who seems to be looking at anything but the main event. “Do NOT tell me if you voted for or against me. I don’t know which one I would prefer or dislike the most.” Despite the cowl, it’s easy to tell the protector of Gotham is sweating.

Tim is looking at him with a look of pure terror. Jason’s brain is having too much info thrown at him at the same time, so it takes a distraction.

“Is that my tea in your mug?” 

Tim knows when to pick up his fight and runs. Dick grabs Jason by the shoulder. “As the one who asked for you to join, I think you can go with me, Jace. So, grab your suit. Try to keep your guns hidden, though. To be nice.”

Jason is so baffled by the idea Dick of all people can just push a minor, murderous vigilante on the JLA with no problem to disagree. Were he in full mental capacity, he would be picking the most obvious weapons he has.

But he is baffled at the idea of joining the biggest team of heroes on the planet, so he puts on a good suit. "You look silly, hood." Well, he decided to keep the full mask. He definitely would look better if it was the glasses/lower half mask combo he had when he tried to take over the penguin's empire. But… He got nothing.

He should have tried to find that outfit again, even if it would be a bit scary. He also decided to bring one of his leather jackets. But the odd contrast between the blue tie and the brown leather, plus the fact it's actually fairly warm on this space station, means it's now resting on his left shoulder.

Jason was part for a short time of the titans way back before Ethiopia, and followed the batman on JL-related missions as Robin, but. Ehhhhhh.

He is really at a loss for words with dickie-bird's latest stunt. And there are so many people here. Cybords, metahumans, "normal" vigilante folks, aliens, a true who's who of the important heroes. Plastic Man is talking to Black Lightning while Elongated Man is busy showing off to Vixen and Killer Frost. Wait. Isn't he dead?

Dick is too used to meeting many heroes from everywhere and walks somewhere else while leaving Jason alone, stunned.

Too scared of going somewhere he isn't supposed to, Jason stays dumbly in a corner, trying to look for someone who might have heard of him.

Suddenly, a lantern notices him and fly in his direction. She has papers in her hands, so he hopes she can help him.

"Hey, I'm Jessica! I'm one of the lanterns of sector 2814. You mustn't be around a lot for me to never have seen you. That's great, actually! I did a paper to fill in for more unknown heroes, here! You aren't forced to write anything if you want." She hands over the convoluted list. Everything besides "hero name" and "powers" are optional to fill, but you have everything from city to relationship status to pronouns to planet of origin and even a paragraph to talk about your nemesis.

"Do you… have a pen?"

"OH! Sure! Here!"

As Jason is contemplating the [questionnaire] like it's the most terrifying thing ever, his batfamily brain looking over each word and doing [dissertations] over what to answer and how truthful being, shouts when the bat's voice rings in his ears.

"Hood, what are you doing? Where is Nightwing? Do you need me to show you where the meeting will be?"

Given how worried Bruce's voice sounds, Jason reaches for his com-link, but turning his head makes him realize the bat is there, looking like he is trying to calm a feral beast or reassure a crying child. He's the one most likely to cry.

Behind Damian the gremlin, of course.

The lantern doesn't seem surprised Bats knows what his name is. Paranoïa aside, He does have one of the more impressive files on every hero around, and would know everyone allowed to go on the watchtower satellite.

"Oh, so Hood is one of the new members you guys are picking? For him to actually be brought onboard days before the end of the selection, he must really be impressive. Well, I'm leaving you two. Don't worry, Hood. You can keep the paper and the pen. Fill what you want later but don't forget to give me back the final form!"

"The… The full name is Red Hood." Jason mumbles weekly.

Bruce quickly looks over Jason's suit, smooths an invisible wrinkle, and then moves fast, checking regularly if his son is still following.

Jason hears him whisper.

"Never should have trusted Nightwing to not get distracted… Hope the others won't be annoyed if we're late…."

He turns towards him and speaks louder. "You've got it, Hood. Don't worry." Well, see bat-mom is the more worried one. Seeing the poorly-disguised affection does help Jason feel better.

When they arrive in a more solitary corridor, Nightwing is clasping his hands.

"Sorry, little wing! I didn't notice you weren't there anymore!" Batman starts running past him. "No time. Meeting begins in 10 minutes!"

"Half the others aren't there yet, B!" Jason doesn't care and sprints too. Bruce slams a door open.

"Sorry we're late!"

Red Hood takes a look. Around a half-circle, Wonder Woman, Superman and Captain Marvel look shocked.

Sups is the first one to speak up. "You… aren't. Late. I mean. You okay, Bat? You usually hide your feelings better."

Since Jason forced Bruce to confront his affection cravings, he does show them more, The Red Hood thinks. Maybe he still hides what he has in mind from his colleagues?

Barry Allen shows up, bringing Cyborg and Aquaman with him. "Great, we're just waiting for John, then!" The speedster happily claps.

The Martian Manhunter's name is JOHN?!? What?

The manhunters enter the room by phasing through the wall. He shows very little surprise. "We can start. Really, it is just formalities."

Jason can't hide the surprise in his voice. "Really, I'm just getting a membership? I was thinking about how to give a good impression. I find it hard to believe the biggest heroes would want me." He was trying to think about arguing his approval, but he wasn't sure if it was to prove himself or contest. 

"And that lantern chick said the trials didn't end." Jason looks at his hands, glad his mask allows him to pretend he is looking straight. "I-I'm s-s-sure there are more deserving heroes. I'm not sure how y-you ever heard of me."

The martian speaks. "Don't worry, red. I read some of your thoughts as I entered. You seem like the type of heroic figure the JLA represents." Jason would beg to differ, but he is too overwhelmed by the kind words.

"Anyway!" Captain Marvel said, "How about we explain to our new colleagues what's expected from him?"

Right. He is a child in a man's body, according to Bruce's notes. Not the best type to hold a meeting between superpowered beings. Get bored easily.

Batman flops on his seat with a movement of the cape to not sit on it. Given the round stools they have here, he looks out of place and ridiculous.

Wonder Woman is the next to speak, holding a card with a picture of his hero self on it. Where did they get that? Does she know Red Hood is that Jason Todd fan?

It's hard not sweating when you have the world's mightiest heroes -and Batman- in front of you, all their eyes on them.

She, uncaring or oblivious to Jason's freak-out, states: "Red Hood, you are bestowed one of the mightiest awards a crime-fighter can receive. Starting today, you are a famed member of the League of Justice. You are now protecting Gaia and all her citizens. We expect you to always be ready to help if we ask for your assistance." She gives a reassuring smile.

"Anyhow, here is what you gain access to, as a new member." 

Jason's brain suddenly catches something. Did Dick tell them he wanted to join?!!? The PRICK!!!

-

Once the "ceremony" is done, Jason is eating with other heroes. Of course, every member of the family that has watchtower access is here. Kyle Rayner decided to make him a party hat. The glowing green thing is silly. Thankfully, this is exactly what Jason needed to not crumble under the weight of his impostor complex.

He looks like the clown he is feeling he is. Bruce is making soft circles on his back to calm him.

Superman, sitting in front of them, has a smile that spells doom.

"So," he innocently asks "Hood. I was wondering when Nightwing proposed a guy from, I quote, 'around Gotham' as a new member. So I took a quick peek under that hood. And of course, there is how Bat is acting towards you. Are you a former Robin?"

Jason, who is drinking his meal thanks to the new open hole in his helmet, almost spit it.

Bruce seems ready to lie, but Red Hood blurts "y-yeah" too fast.

The flash laughs. "Man, usually they are resisting a lot more!" He hit his knees. "Did your brothers force you? I have a hard time seeing a Robin wanting to join the JLa."

Wonder Woman is offended. "How could you be the only one to vote against his inclusion?!? He is your son!" She then looks horrified. "Oh no! Hood, you didn't have to join if you felt forced! The JLA is a great honor, but we won't force anyone to join!"

Jason tries to calm his idol. "NO! Don't worry! I wasn't forced or anything. I didn't expect to get on your radar and I'm afraid it's only because Nightwing and maybe others asked for me that I am present, but I'm glad to be on the team!"

The demi-goddesses show relief on her face. Jason makes a side-glance at Bruce. So he is indeed the one who didn't want him on the team. Was it because he knew Jason wasn't asking to join or didn't look ready to play with the big boys and girls? Issues regarding his willingness to kill? Shame? Fear of looking biased towards one of his boys?

Unaware of his internal struggle and the still at times shaky family dynamic, the heroes are having fun. Dick's flash, how do they refer to one another without using names, Jason wants to know, asks:

"Oh come on! He has so many teen sidekicks! Come on, 'wing, tell me who's the favorite child!"

Damian answers immediately. "Me".

Dick has a much different answer. "Red Robin."

Tim gags. "Hell no! It's either you or Hood!"

Jason gives his opinion. "I say the OG robin." He can distinctly hear several "And who's that supposed to be!?" In the background. Poh. Amateurs.

Barbara plays it coy. "It might just be me…"

Bruce slams his hands on the table. When did he get on the other side of the table? He looks at all of them. "The second batgirl."

Barbara and Dick are too shocked to speak, their mouths big enough you could fit two grenades in each. Damian is horrified he isn't the favorite. Jason is more confused by the title.

"Black Bat?" Dick comes to his senses. "I think it's Orphan.", Dickbird retorts. Tim shakes his head. The guy didn't even look shocked at all. "No, she went back to batgirl, I think. Maybe the Spoiler should take another mantle? Batwoman is taken, there are two other active Batgirls, spitfire is around, guys, do you have any ideas? It's getting kind of lame she didn't change her title in a permanent way."

Dami's unimpressed. "Say the guy who kept Robin in his title." I nod. "Still better than Drake." Everyone who knows shivers.

The two superboys look at each of the bats. "Who's she?" They ask in unisson. Damian is annoyed. "You don't meet her or you're going to find her more cool than le and betray me like father." I pat his hair. "Learn to share, little bird."

The punk says: "The hot mute chinese chick? Cas-" Bruce looks murderous and Sup's little brother shut up. Red Robin and Oracle whisper at the same time. "They dated for a very brief moment!"

Dick murmurs: "Didn't Tim and him also-"

Impostor shouts. "What? No! Well, there was that one-"

Punktonian shushes him. "Superhumans, remember? We hear you guys' words like you're shouting them. And we swore to never speak of it again, Rob!"

"I don't want to know about my siblings' love life!" Who shouted? Was it Jason himself?

Given the stares he was receiving, maybe.

To distract himself, he starts to fill the form Jessica gave him.

Babs signs under the table. “S-T-E-P-H back bat-girl. Talk together.” Ouch. Tim looks mortified.

Suddenly, Tim's speedster, and why was Jason the only Robin without a speedster friend, shows up. "HyeTimnicetomeettyou!Howareyou?I'mfine!" Then he sees Jason. "Whyishehere!!!!Hetriedtokillyou!"

Gasps all around the table. Timothy's reaction is to point to Damian and says: "He attempted murder too!" Classy, Tim. That actually makes it worse. Jason groans mentally.

The not-so-tiny-Superboy is alarmed. “Da-Robin!”

“I was young and wanted to prove myself!”

“By murdering another hero???” It’s as blatant as with Captain Marvel that this “man” is a child in an adult’s body. Why do they live such a life? Why does everyone try to recruit kids into danger?

Jason simply states. “I died once. Made me grumpy when I came back to life. My apologies. Now, I only kill some villains.” That silences everyone.

Swamp Thing comes around. Jason blinks to make sure of what he is seeing. “Alec? What are you doing here?”

The representative of The Green smiles. “Well, I am a member of Justice League Dark. Like you, I presume?” Bruce scoffs. “He doesn’t have magic.”

Hammond laughs. “Really? Now, I would need to know where your son learned enough about the All-Caste and the All-Blades to mimic the blades perfectly and how he mimicked summoning them from his blood.”

Jason jumps on him as Bruce, Dick and all the rest are asking questions of concern.

-

What other heroes think Batman is like: A figure of stoicness, followed by a series of almost cultist-like in their obedience, hyper-competent and almost inhumans beings of perfection.

What Bruce actually is: A tired emo dad crying on the inside as his childrens bite him to escape his protective arms and go fight crime.

And now I have the image of a poor bat in a corner, surrounded by cats in tiny costumes meowing, swearing violence against the people who made their dad sad.

[metamelonisle]

assorted headcanons i have (fandoms involved: Kirby, Super Mario, Sonic, Smash)

mayro hcs:

Within the three central characters of SMB, the order of weakest to strongest is: Mario -> Peach -> Bowser. Bowser is an incredibly strong beast of a king, and has the magical prowess to match. Peach is able to match Bowser in terms of magical power, as she is usually the one who undoes all of his magic at the end of the game. However, she’s still physically weaker than Bowser (it’s not because she’s weak though. It’s just that no one is as strong as Bowser). Judging from how she’s playable in some games, she is just as physically strong and agile as Mario is, which puts her dead center between Mario and Bowser. Mario is the weakest, as he has no magic of his own, and outside of external aid (Powerups, Caps, Power Stars, FLUDD, Luma, Cappy) he really only has his acrobatic skills (which admittedly, are pretty impressive) and his wits. From what I remember, Mario has never beaten Bowser in a direct straight fight. He’s always either A. aided by an external force (like powerups or friends) or uses the environment to his advantage to circumvent the power difference (like the Axe in SMB or the brick-block floor in SMB3). Peach is as strong as Mario physically and Bowser magically, but usually gets kidnapped because Bowser never plays fair (using multiple people to capture her, using sneak attacks, i mean, i’d be surprised if he didnt employ an ultimatum of “get in the koopa klown car, or i’m eating mushroom stew tonight! Gwah ha ha!”)

Dr mario is mario’s dad. he is the main protagonist of DK 81, mario bros 83 (alongside his twin brother Luigi, Sr.) and the first Dr. Mario, and the main antagonist of DK’s Circus and DK Jr.. He dated the Lady from DK 81 (no relation to pauline) but nothing came of it. his significant other/mario jr and luigi jr.’s mother is unknown, if they are even the same person. He is still practicing medicine to this day and is a vetetan in Smash, having attended every game since Melee as a fighter but Brawl and attended every game since 64 to cheer on his sons. (Don’t ask me who nurse peach is idk yet also DM64 and DMW are different)

there are two Mad Pianos. One is a mechanical trap made by Boos (64) and the other one is a real piano possessed by Boos (DS).

the Unagi from 64 suffers from anxiety and is more afraid of Mario than anything else. Peach thinks very fondly of them.

Sonic sometimes asks Mario to babysit Classic Sonic (the one from Mania) and as a result they get along pretty well. CS regards mario as a kind of “cool older brother/father figure” and Mario just thinks he’s adorable. They do extreme sports together

kriby hcs:

bandana dee is nonbinary (he/them)

king dedede probably runs a memepage on facebook about how great he is (it has 3 followers)

dmk listens to linkin park and considers them to be “way better than whatever that punk listens to”

the four otherworldy kings (parallel woods, parallel kracko, parallel meta knight and parallel dedede) are still alive for some reason and HOO ARE THEY MAD (at kirby & co specifically. they’ve chilled out regarding anyone else but if they see the dream friends or that cheeky piece of gum it’s ON SIGHT)

Kracko is related to dark matter in some form. i dont know how but they are. they’re suspicious. also kracko is scared of shrek bc they saw that one tumblr post where he eats lightning then reaches into his bag for the gun that kills clouds

dark nebula has two interpretations: first is mine: an extremely overconfident and egotistical blob of dark energy that thinks he’s lucifer. he talks with a disgusting amount of prose and a fake vague european accent bc he thinks it makes him sound refined. he calls himself names like “the lord of darkness” and “the beast within us all” and stuff and tries to get people to sell their souls to him. the thing is, he’s weak. like, PATHETICALLY weak compared to most beings on popstar. he were actually locked in a box by someone in response to being given a “proposal” to be his servant and herald. (that “someone” may or may not have been Galacta Knight) the other interpretation is that they’re a chaotic and malevolent demon with a very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eye. (like bill cipher, or tom cruise.) they got locked in a box bc Zero made them and was like “you are a mistake” and locked them in a box so they wouldn’t have to deal with them. it’s unclear if they resent zero for this and may be unaware of their existence entirely. When entities are killed, they release all of their power in a big explosion. this is why enemies “pop” when they are defeated, why mid-bosses violently explode after a while, and why bosses explode multiple times and then vanish in one last big one. the more powerful the entity and the more energy they retain at the time of death, the more powerful the explosion. This is largely the reason why Void Termina was sealed in the Jamba Heart instead of being slain by the heroes of yore, as the resulting explosion might destroy the entire galaxy. It is theorized that if Galacta Knight were to take his own life, the resulting explosion would irreversibly devastate the universe. (this remains unproven, as he only dies after being extremely worn down and eventually fatally wounded by Meta Knight.) 

galacta knight is one of the heroes of yore who defeated and sealed void before the series started. people feared and demonized him because of his power, and it made him scared he might accidentally hurt innocent people as a result. he became a hermit and wondered how he could neutralize himself as a threat to the world, and ultimately decided the best choice was to seal himself away in a crystal. Whenever he is unsealed he is extremely upset (as he considers himself a living WMD who’s very presence presents an immediate danger to everyone around him), and fights whoever he believes unsealed him (as since they revived him, they must have known about him, and why else would anyone unseal the greatest warrior in the galaxy if they’re not gonna use him as a weapon/attack dog?) He eventually dies for good in ironically, his first appearance, at the very end of Meta Knightmare Ultra. When he is beaten by Meta Knight, he’s lost so much power and strength that he can finally let go, realizing that with warriors like Meta Knight around, not only is he no longer a danger, but he can rest easily knowing that the galaxy is in safe hands. Finally at peace, Galacta Knight dies, releasing an explosion on par with Nova’s. Due to the way time works, Galacta Knight is fated to survive everything that happens to him up until his very last fight with Meta Knight in Ultra. He has known that he would die in a duel to the death with a winged masked knight in the stars since the days of yore, and used to frequently exploit the law of Forgone Conclusion up until the sealing of Void. Post-Seal, he began to believe the vision he saw was symbolic rather than literal, believing that this masked knight likely represents the darkness within his heart, and that his “death” actually meant his inevitable snapping and descent into fallen heroism and wanton destruction. When he finally sees Meta Knight in Robobot, he does not actually recognize him until he’s been badly wounded, but still escapes, as they’re not in the right place yet. He is elated to realize that the vision of the future is not describing his fall, but his actual death. When MKU finally rolls around, Galacta is hopeful (which is likely why he doesn’t kill Nova like he did with SD), as he’s knows going to die, which means the universe will be safe. Knowing that this is his last dance, he pulls out all of the stops to give Meta Knight the greatest fight he can before he croaks. When the final blow is struck, he loses control of his wings and is flung around by muscle spasms, but is able to regain control long enough to relish in his defeat. Galacta Knight and Hyness are not the only currently living heroes of yore. Given that Gooey, a piece of Dark Matter who is very loving and friendly, is clearly able to not only receive love, but give it as well, I think that all Dark Matter is capable of it, except for Zero, and possibly Miracle Matter. (I’d be willing to give them a chance, though.) They are unable to tap into their positive emotions because of their loyalty to Zero. This has changed as of Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards and Kirby Star Allies. After Zero’s death in 64 and Void’s purification in Allies, all remaining Dark Matter is free to do as they please without Zero to tell them what to do. Most have disappeared, but four major members remain. Gooey, Void, Miracle Matter, and Dark Matter Swordsman. He was the first Dark Matter to realize that he cared about others when post DL3, he questioned why he was so adamant to fight Kirby and Gooey even when it could have easily resulted in his death. He ultimately came to the conclusion that it was because he genuinely cared about Zero, and his intense loyalty to him was a result of that. Until Void’s purification, DMS hung around Gooey frequently, as they’re really the only family he has left. After Void’s purification, he was elated to learn that Zero had effectively come back, but now able to give love as well as receive it. He’s a little sad Void doesn’t remember his time as Zero, and as such doesn’t remember him, but believes it’s for the best that Void is not burdened by his past mistakes. His relation to Miracle Matter is unknown.  Now that Void has been purified and DMS has embraced his positive emotions, they are no longer weak to the Love-Love stick or the Rainbow Sword. As such, the Love-Love Stick has been disassembled back into the heart stars and returned to their owners, and the Rainbow Sword is currently in the possession of DMS, having replaced his old sword. Similarly to all native Dream Landers becoming animate yarn outlines in Patch Land, all native Patch Landers become animate three-dimensional plushies in Dream Land. The bosses from Kirby’s Epic Yarn are still around. Even Yin-Yarn is still alive! (but Shhhh don’t tell anybody its a secret) They’re doing a lot better now that Yin-Yarn isn’t around/active to boss them around. Fangora- Mostly just vibes in Weird Woods. They’re a lot less hostile then they used to be, so give em’ a visit! They’d love to eat-er... Meet you! Squashini- Still performs magic. He uses a weird mix of stage magic and actual magic and occasionally performs in Dream Land. He’s especially popular on Halloween! Hot Wings- Continues to look after her chicks in Hot Land, although they’re adolescents at this point rather than babies. She’s cooled down in terms of intensity and has begun to warm up to visitors, but only really trusts Fluff and Kirby. In Dream Land, her fire is cloth, but still burns like real fire. She has occasionally been known to barbecue as of late, complete with a cheesy apron and cheesier jokes. This has made her popular in Patch Land but she mostly just cooks for friends or her kids. Most of the time they just forage. Calimari- Resents Double Bubble and the Fuzz for ruining his cap, and has made himself a new one. He continues to hoard treasure, and will pickpocket anyone who comes by him. He could theoretically make a fortune with his knitting skills, but is too lazy to do so. A really good way to piss him off is to tell him he looks like a potato. He will hurt you. Meta Knight and Dedede - Oh You Know Fluff once ate an entire bar of ZOTE he found in Kirby’s laundry room and no one noticed until it was too late

idk there’ll probably be more but i’m kinda tired rn. feel free to add or edit as you please. i’m bad at being consistent i think so help is greatly appreciated 

[elydraws]

01 │きせい かげ よこちょ

pairing: dabi x oc

genre: angst, action, dramatic, lemon (maybe future smut)

word count: 2.2k

masterlist

part 1/?  <previous next>

warnings: strong language

author’s note:  as I have already warned in the presentation chapter this is a translation of my original fanfiction (written in my language), so I hope there are no big mistakes, however I wanted to try to write it in english hoping it won't make your eyes bleed. （；´д｀）ゞ

forgive me if there is any mistake, I am not very good at translating, so if you have any suggestions about it, it is absolutely welcome.(｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

"Stars, hide your fires;

Let not light see my black and deep desires."

┈┈┈┈․° ☣ °․┈┈┈┈ 01 きせい かげ よこちょ (kisei kage yokochō)

THE NEON SIGNBOARD WHIRRING ABOVE HER HEAD LIKE AN ANNOYING MOSQUITO.

The writing 'Flamingo Night,' of bright pink, flickered reflected on the puddles on the ground. The rain had wet the garbage thrown out of the bins already full to the brim. The smell of rancid and mildew saturated the narrow alley she was going through.

She twisted her nose, trying not to notice the acrid stench of spoiled food. In that part of the city, despite the proximity to the center, it was not difficult to come across abandoned streets.

Few dared to venture into that area of ​​the commercial district unless you wanted to take the risk of getting ripped off.

As much as the heroes boasted that they made cities crime-free, there were corners of them still in the hands of the gangland. They were well hidden, concealed by the lights of the skyscrapers, and far from the cameras and residential homes for families.

Mostly they were suburban neighborhoods patrolled only by the police or small groups of minor heroes. 

Everything took place under unsuspecting or corrupt eyes, masked with signs such as that of the 'Flamingo' or the small night market at the end of the street.

Without evidence and moving in the shadows, the villains in the area could not be arrested. The omerta of who lived there allowed the crimes to be committed even in the light of the day.

Nobody saw or heard anything at 'Kisei Kage Yokocho.' Kisei Kage was a slang born just before the Age of Watchers to indicate the neighborhoods in the hands of criminals who used their quirks to sow panic among those without Meta skills. With the Vigilantes and later the Heroes legally recognized by the government, the areas under the control of the underworld had drastically reduced, reaching a few frightened alleys and some shops scattered here and there.

They were the thin and blurred gray line between the significant organized criminal gangs and ordinary citizens.

A life lived like rats in the sewers. You know they are there, that they move under your feet. Sometimes you can hear them scratching in the ground, but you don't realize it until one sneaks between your feet. A miserable existence, perhaps, but a choice for many of them was a privilege.

It was a cruel world: if you were lucky enough to call yourself 'Hero,' you were allowed to do everything, and you could observe the rest of humanity from above, judging it. Power was in their hands.

If they decided you were the bad guy and rebelled, they had a chance to kill you. Take your life without blinking an eye and without consequences.

The government, on these occasions, set its gaze elsewhere. Sometimes the mayor even patted the hero on duty on the shoulder and complimented him for his excellent job.

"Thanks for making the roads safer."

That sounded very like: thank you for getting rid of the trash.

They were none other than this in the eyes of society.

Garbage.

Nobody had ever bothered to ask why. At the end of a clash, journalists had eyes only for the hero; nobody had ever approached a villain asking: "why are you doing all this?".

No one care about a Villain's past or his reasons. What pushed him into the shadows of the alleys, in the darkest meanders of the human soul.

It would be too tricky to humanize the category, to go to think that there is something else underneath or that their idolized Heroes are not all knights in bright armor, and the Villains are not those monsters that move under the bed at night, while everyone is asleep.

It would have been too much to handle for the fragile minds of those who only ask to be safe in a world where only the one with the strongest Quirk can win. A society divided between black and white.

The girl stopped in the middle of the alley. The tip of her sneakers touched a puddle, wrinkling it.

Her figure distorted, becoming unrecognizable, illuminated by the pink neon sign. If this was what she was destined to become, so be it. She would get her hands dirty because she was already born stained with an unforgivable shame in the eyes of society. It was her future. Her fate was sealed even before she was born.

The daughter of a Villain can only aspire to become nothing but rubbish.

At the end of the road, bordered by two tall buildings, the headlights of the cars on the main highway darted at high speed, leaving a bright trail.

Although it was late in the evening, the main streets were still full of life, the voices and waves of laughter rang among the constructions, up to her.

She looked up, and her eyes, in the darkness of the alley, shone like amethysts when they met the soft light of the shy street lamp in the corner. A moth continued to fly close to it, unable to land.

"I'm tired of the games, come out, you've been following me for a while now" the girl's voice sounded bored but sweet and inviting like honey for flies. 

The sentence remained suspended in the stillness of the alley.

A rat, around the corner of the Night entrance behind her, pawed towards a dumpster. Something must have frightened him, but, other than the rhythmic dripping of the water from the rusty fire ladder above her head and the distant echo of the city, there was no other noise to interrupt that glacial calm.

She didn't even make an effort to turn around when a can was kicked against the wall next to her and bounced off the center of the alley.

"Uh-oh, someone's in trouble," murmured a male voice behind her.

Another joined the first, very similar, but harder and hoarser, "I DID KNOW! you are truly an incapable!"

A lonely figure, however, emerged from the shadow of the building.

The girl smiled, her lips, adorned with a matte dark brown lipstick, rose to one corner showing the tip of the canines as white as pearls.

She had noticed the man's presence since she left the establishment for her latest job, a pawn shop a neighborhood further south. She had tried to sow the intruder, with fake streets and taking him away from where she lived, but that guy was a tough nut to crack, and he hadn't let go.

He was not a hero. It did not seem to act as such, nor did it look like it. She also crossed out the idea of ​​the policeman. He was too smart to be part of the police. Excluding those possibilities, this reduced the stranger's intentions to two unique options: a competitor who wanted to try to cut her out of the game or someone interested in sharing a slice of her thefts.

"What do you want?"

The man behind her winced, "Uh, right to the point, eh? What a daring girl!" the first voice squeaked.

"Rude!" croaked the second one. But they both came from that single, eccentric man.

A personality disorder? She asked herself, raising an eyebrow.

"Cut to the chase, I'm a busy woman," she said, barely lifting one shoulder, annoyed at the interruption.

What a pain in the ass. She was savoring the sweet and creamy taste of the Bubble Tea from her favorite kiosk before the arrival of that nuisance. The girl reached into the pockets of the military green bomber jacket she was wearing. 

She didn't want to waste time with a madman.

"SUPER RUDE!!!!"

"They warned me that you weren't very patient, Lady Hazard... or should I call you Unmei Nakano?"

Upon hearing her name spoken, the girl backed away, turning three quarters so she could finally face her pursuer.

She was impressed. That guy had discovered her true identity despite all the precautions she had taken. 

She didn't let the annoyance leak; however, she just raised an eyebrow.

He was probably keeping an eye on her for longer than she had imagined.

"I thought you were just a stalker, but I was wrong," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders without taking her hands out of the pockets. Her fingers tightened the grip on the handle of the snap knife inside the jacket—a slow and calculated movement.

But if he already knew her identity, he was probably already aware of her tricks and the weapons she had carefully hidden under the clothes.

The cold metal of the Bo pressed against her ribs, reassuring her with her presence, hidden by the mustard crop top. She would never be able to reach it in time and without showing up, not with that strange defensive guy.

The man put the hands on his hips. 

She couldn't recognize any physiognomy because of the full spandex mask that concealed his face. She could guess his expressions thanks to the orbits of the disguise, which followed every movement of his eyebrow arch. Now, the empty orbits thinned; he was probably trying to precede her next move.

The rest of the man's body was also covered in a tight, black, and gray suit.

"A stalker? Me? What made you think that?" the gentlest voice trilled as he shrugged. He seemed almost offended by such a claim.

"Because maybe you were following her like a maniac! DEFICIENT!" the other voice shouted against himself. The body of the stranger folded in on himself, grabbing his head as if he wanted to split it in two. He composed himself after that fit of anger and went back to speaking as if nothing had happened.

"I'm here for a business proposal. See our organization ..."

Unmei grimaced. "I am not interested," she abruptly interrupted him, returning to walk towards the end of the alley. The grip on the knife in her pocket, however, did not loosen.

For a moment, the man was contradicted by her answer before recovering from the momentary shock "AT LEAST LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY YOU, STUPID SNOB GIRL!"

Unmei stopped, giving her back to him. "Besides being crazy, you are deaf, so ... I said I don't care" this time her tone was sharper.

The masked man took a step forward, but before he could reach her, a shadow stretched from the dumpster next to them, reaching up to his feet.

"WHA—?!" his assailant shouted in surprise when he suddenly found himself stuck in an unnatural position, unable to move a single muscle.

One of his feet was still in mid-air and the same arm that had stretched out to try to grab the girl. He remained suspended, completely immobilized. He could neither fall, supported by a strange force that pivoted on his own shadow, nor advance, chained by invisible arms and fingers.

He seemed utterly taken aback by what was going on.

Unmei turned around, just as that same shadow that had elongated from the bins began to come to life, becoming more substantial and starting to go up the leg of its victim like a snake whose coils tighten around its prey.

The shadow monster came to tighten around the masked man's body until it tightened the grip on his neck, making him jump in hideous surprise.

"You did your research, but not so well," said the girl with a proud half-smile. Her long, petrol green hair slid over her shoulder as she studied the man.

The strange guy had started to tremble, gasping from lack of air.

"And ... tsch... i-if I told you ..." he tried to mark from under the mask, between the groans of pain and the attempts to breathe as much air as possible "...that we believe in a...world without he-heroes...?"

The shadow tightened its hold on the man's neck, causing him a squeak. Completely unable to move, or even just trying to loosen the grip of that thing on him, he kept talking.

His voice was now more hoarse and pasty, choked by the saliva that he could not swallow "...we... want... r-revenge ..." the last words were muffled by the lack of oxygen.

Unmei stared at him, impassive.

The man clenched his teeth under the mask. The girl could see the muscle of his jaw tightening under the cloth, his limbs starting to tremble. It was a matter of seconds before he passed out, or the shadow broke his vertebrae if that irresponsible continued to put off the inevitable.

With a wave of her fingers, the shadow let go of its victim. Her strange pursuer fell to the knees on the ground, exhausted. The man's body was shaken by violent coughs when air entered his lungs again.

The man's gloved hands touched his neck as if trying to ensure that the thing wasn't there. But the shadow, still resembling a shapeless snake, had already rolled up around Unmei's arm, peering over her shoulder like a harmless pet.

"AND THEN WE WOULD BE THE CRAZY ONE!" the man shouted in an even more hoarse voice, still crawling on the ground, before coughing again and looking up, returning meekly.

"I have to infer..." he coughed again "that this caught your attention."

Unmei bent on the knees, tilting the head to be able to fix him in the empty sockets of the mask. "You have my curiosity Zorro" she mocked him by pulling her hands out of the pockets and placing them gently on the knees.

"TWICE! My name is Twice! Slut!"

"My name is Twice," he introduced himself, reaching out a hand towards her, still trembling for the effort to speak "and welcome to the League of Villains, Unmei."

[bi-honor]

Why the “Batman should just kill the Joker” argument is stupid.

Pre-scriptum: This turned out a bit longer and a lot more complicated than I’ve expected. Please bear with it.

Sunday night, before heading back to uni, I decided not to sleep (like a sensible person would), and instead started watching Gotham.

And shit, son.

A show that actually understands the underlying themes of Gotham?

I can't believe it.

This realization reminded me of the million times, when I've been hit with the good ol’ "Batman should just kill the Joker, he is so stupid" argument.

Hearing this always drove me crazy, but now I can actually present a (somewhat) coherent debunking, so strap in for a little rant.

So the two main arguments, that come up are as follows: Killing the villains would more effectively reduce crime.

Batman’s presence is just worsening Gotham’s situation by creating/pulling supervillains into Gotham causing even more death and suffering in the process.

Now, depending on the exact iteration, these are correct observations, but they miss the goddamned point of everything.

Batman is not a person. He is an ideology. He is not a man, as much as the idea, that justice is real and is coming to kick your ass, in a city where major criminal offenses are justified with “this is Gotham, kid. Get over it”. It is not a coincidence that Bruce is commonly referred to as the mask of Batman and not the other way around.

He is trying to uphold the power of law and correct the system where it is goes to shit. This is the reason why many of his small scale opponents are corrupt cops and why several of his allies are people such as Jim Gordon (who is trying to fix the police from the inside) and pre-Two Face Harvey Dent (who does the same on a legal/political plane). How he uses his personal financial and political power reflects the same.

Now, the reason why I’m harping on about this is that one of the core tenets of human civilization is the “no kill” rule, which is also the most important element of Batman’s backstory. Killing is viewed as necessary evil by many people, but the end goal should always be minimizing it, and shifting the focus to rehabilitation. It is not a coincidence that Arkham is an asylum, not a prison. Due to writers wanting to use the same villains, and their relevant themes, they cannot be cured (long-run comics be damned), but that does not change the fact that it IS an asylum (a facility or rehabilitation), not a prison or the Phantom Zone (which are only for containment, and are linked to much more “wholesome” heroes).

Batman is often praised for his rouge’s gallery and for good reason. Besides packing style and AWESOME in troves, they are all (at least the good ones) defined by a single or a few overriding flaws and deviations from order. Here is a (non-conclusive) list: Wanting to demolish all order as a reaction to its flaws (Anarchy), declaring oneself above the rest due to outstanding intellect or some other quality (Riddler), wanting to abolish civilization and let nature take over (Posion Ivy), taking arbitrary laws too seriously (Two Face) or my personal favourite: putting one’s personal trauma above the rest of humanity (Dr. Freeze), they all represent real and understandable ideologies that are constantly up against the ideal of law and order. And don’t forget the antithesis of Bats and literal definition of LE, Joker, who quite literally represents men’s tendency to be evil just cause, and who also happens to be the ultimate cynic (more on that in a minute).

But the villains are not the main opposition of Batman. It is Gotham itself (thus the name of the show). Batman doesn’t become Batman because people are being abducted for experimentation or because the Joker is killing people. He becomes Batman, because he is living in a city, where two people are shot in front of their child for a necklace and everyone just waves it off as yesterday’s news. The real enemy is cynicism, the idea that things cannot and will not change for the better. He is one of the few, who faced with cynicism and neglect for such things, stands up and says ‘No. It does not have to be like that.” He is dead-set on bringing a better world to fruition and breaking the fundamentals of his beliefs would equal to ceasing to exist as what he is and the resistance he signifies. He can be cynical in his approach, but always within bounds, and never on an ideological level (barring deconstructions, but those are deconstructions for a reason).

(I don’t want to write an entire dissertation, so I swore I wouldn’t bring up paladins or Sanderson, therefore I assume the dear reader can make the connection)

In the faithful Batman stories, both his unrelenting realism and fundamental care for others are emphasized. He approaches situations with a level head, and almost always asks the villains to put the weapons down, before actually engaging in combat. For example, in the animated Justice League series (the be all, end all of animated superheroism) we see Batman tell the entire JLA that they can either kick him out or see why a contingency is needed for their own power, and we also see Batman sitting down on a swing with a little girl who might be a danger to the fabric of reality, so she wouldn’t have to spend her last minutes alone.

One could say that Batman himself is quite the broken and hypocritical character as he exhibits many of the traits which identify his villains. He is a vigilante (Anarchy), almost solely inspired by personal trauma and loss (Freeze), constantly imposes an arbitrary moral code on others (Two-face), and so on. However there are many reasons why this only betters the whole thing.

First and foremost, Batman is trying to create the synthesis of the ideal and the realistic and make it into a comprehensive and ordered system, which just so happens to be the fundamental challenge of legislation and governance. Secondly the best Batman stories and his meta villains (Arkham series, Red Hood) can very effectively bounce off of these “flaws” allowing for a further exploration of the themes. Thirdly, when his fundamentals are broken (the original Dark Knight) and it is not fucked up (LOOKIN’ AT YOU SNYDER) it makes for a very effective deconstruction. There is also a fourth reason, but let me get back to that later.

Now, on the show itself. In one of the first scenes we witness Gordon being ridiculed, after not shooting an obviously miserable junkie and taking a more circumvent approach, just so killing could be avoided. Later we see police applaud a serial killer for killing crooks, right up until he targets a policeman (who is also a crook btw), where they suddenly go all “we don’t kill a policemen, hurrdurr”. Said serial killer turns out to be a guy who worked with orphans for decades and thought the only way to change the city would be to start killing the corrupt. He doesn’t even have to pick his targets, because anyone, who has the slightest smidgen of power in Gotham would be a proper target.

The villains in the show are also shown to be evil, but also fundamentally broken as people, which is the cause of their villainy. Cobblepot is very obviously a bullied loner, Nigma is viewed as a loser by everyone while he just wants to share what he finds interesting, Selina’s only brush with authority was getting thrown into institutions and Ivy experienced an abusive family. Being broken doesn’t excuse their choices, but it does give rise to them, tying into the fact that there is a root cause for evil other than human nature and that it can be treated.

Now the final reason why Batman not being perfect is not a problem, is that he is not actually the ideal hero of the world of Gotham. Due to all his hypocrisies and nigh superhuman nature, he is not actually the best synthesis of order and Gotham. The real ideal is Jimmy Gordon himself.

Why? He shares, both the unrelenting idealism and humanity of Batman, but he does so without having to resort to terror tactics or vigilantism. And without access to ALL THE MONEY or superhuman intellect. This is the reason why he is the main of the show and not Bruce and also why in some versions of the story, Batman falls, giving rise to more perfect heroes and Gordon is the one who tidies up the GCPD and/or becomes mayor.

Take for example the pier scene from the show [mild spoliers]. Harvey (a different one) takes Jim and Cobblepot out to the pier and says that Jim must shoot the guy into the water or their ass is grass. Now, Jim is presented with two options here. Comply (give in to status quo) or Resist (and die shortly thereafter, also feeding into the status quo). Batman would choose Resist, which is a valid choice, but only for him and not the layman. However, Jim recognizes the false ‘agency’ inherent in the choice and breaks the system by coming to a third solution. This moment, in one scene summarized, what the struggle for a better Gotham is and how it can be achieved.

(Struggling not to bring Geralt into this)

Which ties us back to the main point of this whole thing. Killing the Joker or any other villain for that matter, does not solve the problem, because the Joker is not the problem. The problem is that Gotham is a place which produces people like him on a consistent and reliable basis and that its own habitants believe that this cannot be changed. Viewing killing as the only solution only strengthens the very core of the problem and at best momentarily cures some of the symptoms, but not the sickness itself.

In the spawn of 4 episodes, the show demonstrated, what is the problem of Gotham, how it affects everyday life and thinking, how truly superhuman Bruce is even as a kid, how the city creates its own broken people, what challenges someone has to face if they want to produce change and it managed not to be crowded to incomprehensibility or made into a cheese-fest. I hope it will not go off its rails, as I don’t know if anything ever inspired this type of positive excitement from me. Rant over

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The Best Super Bowl Ads of All Time

The next Super Bowl is coming. And as we get closer to the big game, Americans aren’t just looking forward to the football — they’re also excited to see what the nation’s big-budget brands will come up with for this year’s ads. Because Super Bowl ads are so high-budget and infamous, many companies go to great lengths to keep them secret before they air. Some companies even add to the suspense of their ads by releasing teaser ads for their ads. (How meta.)

To give you an idea of how mysterious, and exciting these teasers are, here’s an example of one from Doritos, which features “Old Town Road” rapper, Lil Nas X:

  But teasers aren’t the only thing we can watch to prepare for the marketing marvels we might see on Sunday. To amp you up for this year’s “Ad Bowl,” I’ve collected some the best ads from the last decade and before. Be sure to check back, as we’ll continue to add to this list as new teasers are released. Without further ado, please enjoy these attention grabbing and sometimes award-winning ads. The Best Super Bowl Ads from the Past Decade 1. “Joust” – HBO and Budweiser (2019) Prior to the 2019 Super Bowl, Budweiser launched a funny series of ads that followed a medieval kingdom where the king and townspeople would cheer, “Dilly Dilly!” when offered the beer. The series also featured a hero called the Bud Knight. In some advertisements, he would ride in on his horse and fight in battles clad in armor covered in Budweiser logos.  At the beginning of Budweiser’s 2019 Super Bowl ad, you see a handful of happy medieval characters waiting excitedly for the Bud Knight to arrive at a jousting match As the Bud Knight heroically rides his horse on screen, the audience cheers, “Dilly Dilly!” as the competition begins. But. things get grim quickly. Shocking, the Bud Knight loses and is knocked off his horse by the opponent. As the tall, masked opponent walks up to the knight, most Game of Thrones fans will begin to recognize him Gregor Clegane, a.k.a. “The Mountain” — one of the show’s most monstrous villains. As Clegane towers over the Bud Knight, it becomes apparent — especially to GoT fans — that the ad is mimicking a dramatic death scene from the HBO series where The Mountain physically squished another heroic figure with his bare hands. Clegane dramatically, but comedically, reaches down to grab the Knight with both hands. As townspeople react over-dramatically to what’s going on, it’s apparent that Clegane’s killed yet another knight by squishing him off screen.

Suddenly, the Game of Thrones theme music begins to play as a dragon flies over Clegane and takes him down with a blow of fire. As the dragon escapes into clouds and smoke, the music gets louder as the show’s logo and air date appears instead of a Budweiser logo. In a sense, Game of Thrones and HBO hijacked and destroyed the Budweiser ad series.  This ad is hilarious as it comedically mimics an incredibly intense and notable scene from Game of Thrones. More interestingly, it surprises audiences who are just expecting it to be a standard Budweiser ad. This is a great example of how one ad combined cross promotion with a memorable storyline. The ad, produced by Droga5 and Wieden+Kennedy, was so humorous and clever that it even won the 2019 Super Clio, a Clio Award for Super Bowl ad participants.  2. “We All Win” – Microsoft (2019) After it came to Microsoft’s attention that people with missing limbs or limited mobility were having trouble holding and pressing buttons on video game controllers, the tech company developed an adaptive controller with touch pads rather than buttons. After the controller’s launch, Microsoft highlighted this story of how they solved for the customer in a 2019 Super Bowl ad titled, “We All Win.”

n the Gold Clio-winning campaign, Microsoft interviewed children with mobility issues and missing limbs about why they loved video games, but how they still faced difficulties with game controllers due to their disabilities. Many of the children and parents featured in the ad explain that gaming helps them connect with friends in ways that they might not be able to otherwise. However, because of the current line of controllers, they have difficulty playing or competing in many games. “I never thought it was unfair. I just thought ‘Hey, this is the way it is and it’s not going to change,” says one boy. After demonstrating the problem with game controllers, the ad shows the children using Microsoft’s new adaptive video game controller as they explain how it makes gaming easier and more accessible for them. For example, one girl excitedly says, “I can hit the buttons just as fast as they can,” while a boy exclaims, “Now everyone can play!” “‘We All Win’ hit all the marks in terms of emotion, starting a dialogue, and fun. It wasn’t an ad about disabilities, it was about kids wanting to play video games,” says Dmitry Shamis, Senior Director of Creative. “I loved it back in February and still love it now.” Not only does “We All Win” tug on your heartstrings, but it also encourages solving for the customer and accessibility by explaining how Microsoft took the time to develop a product that fixed a major problem faced by a unique group of customers. This ad makes you believe that Microsoft genuinely cares about its customers and will make extra efforts to ensure that everyone has a great experience with its products. You can read more about this particular campaign and get inspired by a few more empowering ads in this blog post on inclusive marketing. 3. “It’s a Tide Ad” – Tide (2018) Another Super Clio winner was, “It’s a Tide Ad,” created by the clothing detergent company, Tide, as well as the agency Saatchi & Saatchi New York. In 2017 and 2018, Tide released a number of commercials with storylines that had nothing to do with Tide, except for the actors’ noticeably clean clothes. When viewers were at the edge of their seats, someone in the ad would say, “It’s just another Tide ad.” Then, they’d see the Tide logo and text that said, “If it’s clean, it’s Tide.” This campaign started with a long Super Bowl ad, which also received an Emmy nomination. In the ad, Stranger Things’ David Harbour shows up in several common ad scenes, including in the bathroom with a buff deodorant model, driving a sports car, and laughing on the couch with a fake family. As he appears into each commercial, he explains that all of them have one thing in common: clean clothes that were washed by Tide detergent. In the end, he says, “So, does this make every Super Bowl commercial a Tide ad? I think it does.”

Since Tide has one job of keeping clothes clean, they show off the brand’s strength in multiple versatile and silly scenarios. Humor like this can also be a great way to make a simple product more memorable. If you go to the store to get detergent shortly after seeing this commercial, Tide might be the first thing to pop into your head because of the ridiculous ads. 4. “Band of Brands” – Newcastle (2015) What do you do when you can’t afford a Super Bowl ad? Cross-promote with other brands who will pay for it.  That’s what Newcastle, a popular beer company, did back in 2015. Prior to the 2015 Super Bowl, Newcastle launched a call to action video where Parks and Recreation actress Aubrey Plaza encouraged brands to pool their money for one big ad. Because Super Bowl ads that year were well over $4.7 million — not including production — a number of big and small brands reached out to Newcastle to join in for a chance to be featured — even for just a few seconds — in the ad The one-minute ad is filled with product placements as it tells the story of a couple that’s sharing Newcastle beers together to celebrate moving into a new home. As they walk through their new house, you can see brand logos hung on the walls like paintings, family photos, or decorations. As they unpack the boxes, they not-so-subtly talk about all the appliances they have while holding them up to the camera. Aside from the obvious visual product placements, they also work brands into their conversations. For example, at one point, the man tells his girlfriend that he can’t believe they’re moving in together after “meeting on Match.com.” Although the ad starts off with more clever obvious product placements, it gets funnier as the couple starts pointing out every single product they have in their house as quickly as possible.

This ad is an incredibly clever example of a brand that took product placement and co-marketing to the extreme, while benefiting from a virtually free Super Bowl commercial.  5. “Keep Your Hands Off My Doritos” – Doritos (2010) “Keep Your Hands Off My Doritos” hilariously tells the story of an overconfident man meeting his love interests son for the first time. In the ad, the man walks into his date’s home with flowers and sits with her child as the mother gets ready. When she leaves the living room, the man is seen noticeably checking her out. He sits down with swag as he starts talking to her infant son. Without thinking to ask the child if he can have one of his Doritos, he grabs a chip. The boy immediately and loudly slaps him, stares him down in the most intimidating way a child can, and angrily exclaims, “Keep your hands off of my momma. Keep your hands off of my Doritos!” The overconfident boyfriend ends the commercial cowering in fear as the screen fades. As the logo appears, you hear the boy’s mother ask, “Are you playing nice?”

This ad was so funny that it’s still seared into many of our minds. Even though it launched nearly a decade ago, I still tell friends to “keep their hands off my Doritos” when they grab one of mine without asking. Although it’s only 30 seconds, the ad is hilarious, relatable, a little bit shocking, and heartwarming, which makes it so memorable. The Best Super Bowl Ads Before 2010 6. “Wassup” – Budweiser (1999) If you grew up in the late ’90s or early 2000s, you might have a memory of kids at your school yelling the word “WASSUP?” to each other. I know I do. If not, you’ve probably seen the Budweiser ad that the now outdated greeting comes from:

In the ad, a man answers the phone while watching a big game. His friend on the other line asks, “Wassup?” The man on the couch says, “Nothing. Just watchin’ the game and drinkin’ a Bud.” The conversation escalates when the man’s roommate unexpectedly walks in and yells, “WASSSSUPPPPP?!” In true 1990s fashion, the roommate rushes to pick up the other house phone to join the conversation. The three men then just start yelling, “Wassup!” in louder and more bizarre ways until they suddenly get quiet. One of the friends then asks, “So, wassup?” The two others on the phone again say, “Nothing. Just watchin’ the game and drinkin’ a Bud.” Then, everyone says, “True.”  This video might seem like a waste of millions of dollars on a Super Bowl slot, but it definitely wasn’t. As a viewer and consumer, all you need to know when watching is that the three friends are all watching the game and drinking Budweiser. The “Wassup?” marathon was essentially a tool meant to make the commercial funny and memorable. Based on the fact that, “Wassup” was still getting referenced in the second half of the 2010s, it’s easy to see that this ad was a success. 7. “Your Cheatin’ Heart” – Pepsi (1996) This old Pepsi commercial highlights the consequences of what could happen if you “cheat” on your company’s brand. The short and sweet ad simply shows fake security footage of a Coca-Cola delivery employee placing Coca-Cola cans in a store refrigerator to the Hank Williams Sr. song, “Your Cheatin’ Heart.” Things get interesting when the delivery man looks to make sure no one’s watching and then opens the fridge with Pepsi in it. Suddenly, the shelves in the fridge collapse as all of the Pepsi cans noticeably barrel out of the fridge and on to the floor. The ad makes a short and simple point: Even Coca-Cola employees love Pepsi:

8. “1984” – Apple (1984) At the dawn of 1984, Apple leveraged the George Orwell classic,”1984,” in an award-winning Super Bowl campaign. The 1948 George Orwell novel, followed a 1984 dystopian society where everyone dressed the same and conformed to the same leader, views, and ideologies. As an innovative company, Apple has always tried to be “different” from competitors. The tech giant’s approach to Super Bowl advertising stood by this same mission even back in 1983. The Super Bowl ad brings the conformist community in 1984 to life as you see men marching in straight lines towards a room where their leader is on a giant screen, telling them, “We are one people, with one whim, one resolve, and one cause.” At the climax of the commercial, a woman with a hammer and colorful clothing starts running towards the screen. She launches her hammer into the screen as it explodes. 

  A narrator concludes, “On January 24th, Apple Computer will introduce the Macintosh. And you’ll see why 1984 won’t be like 1984.” Not only did the ad, directed by Ridley Scott, highlight a well-known book. But it was boldly symbolic of early tensions and monopolies in Silicon Valley. At the time, Apple was considered a young, disruptive company while IBM was the only tech giant in the PC industry. Tech journalists and innovators in Silicon Valley often thought about IBM as a soulless corporation. In this ad, Apple explains why innovation, disruption, and tech unique tech underdogs would destroy monopolies of the future. It also reiterated and enforced the brand’s positioning as a company that wanted to make products that would allow people to embrace their unique qualities and skills. This is a strategy that they��ve continued to use in their campaigns today. 9. “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke” – Coca-Cola (1971) On the hills of Italy in 1970, Coca-Cola pulled together a group of young adults from a number of countries and filmed them sing a jingle called, “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke.” This resulted in one of the most notable ads from Coca-Cola, let alone a popular ad from the 1971 Super Bowl:

This commercial is a great form of early inclusive marketing as it shows that everyone has something in common, despite the fact that we all come from different or diverse backgrounds. In particular, this ad shows that millions of people from all around the world can agree on the fact that they enjoy Coca-Cola. Not only does it embrace the beauty of diversity and world peace, but it also highlights the international popularity of the soda beverage. Super Bowl Ad Takeaways Even if you’re a small business marketer. you can learn from these ads for your own video or content marketing strategies. Here are a few things that many of these ads have in common. Emotion: Whether they leave you feeling happy, sad, or optimistic, most of these ads drew your attention with a topic and storyline that built emotion. Pop Culture: As you saw with Budweiser, HBO, Newcastle, and Apple, some of the most memorable ads acknowledged notable pop culture or literature and weaved a memorable story around them. Relatability: Emotional ads don’t often work without relatability. Many of these ads do an excellent job of putting you into their protagonist’s shoes. Whether you’re seeing children able to access gaming in a Microsoft ad, or laughing at the child who’s protective of his mother in the Doritos ad, you identify with the characters or people featured on a deeper level. For more examples of big brand ads you can learn from, check out these rosters of Emmy nominees, Clio Award winners, and our marketers favorite campaigns of 2019.

Editor’s Note: This blog post was originally published in January 2015. It was updated for comprehensiveness and freshness in 2019.

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