#i love her but sometimes im glad to spend most of the year at college

[just-gay-thoughts]

Good news! Mri says my hip is normal! If this is somehow has not stopped the pain or discomfort you can schedule a meeting to talk about follow up! Gotta wait a month though! We know you're only in town for 3 months but dont worry, I'm sure we'll get a lot done before you need to leave again!

[khaleesiofalicante]

I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)

before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"

I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.

Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.

IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF

TAVVY

TAVVY

TAVVY

DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV

I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT

“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”

“But it’s 15 in Idris!”

“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.

DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD

Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.

The warlock – not the shadowhunter.

He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.

Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.

The shadowhunter – not the warlock.

I AM SCREAMING

I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about

“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”

Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?

ARCHITECT TAVVY

SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS

SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES

“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”

“Cause they are chill?”

“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.

Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)

ANJALI IS A CENTURION

LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS

I still ship them.

“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”

Well, that was a quick change-

Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.

THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS

great now I miss Raphael

I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY

that is so thoughtful of him though...

tears.

“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.

“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.

“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”

Of course, it is. No one is surprised.

Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”

“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.

white people and their bland foods smh

“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”

As she should be

UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE

He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.

"Beautiful"

I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO

I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP

FUCKING RUMORS

I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE

“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”

There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.

No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.

But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.

YET

Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.

OH MY GOD THESE TWO

But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.

I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D

“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.

I-

same.

NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-

RAFAEL LMAO NO

"I hate her she's so annoying"

continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone

Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?

And he calls Max oblivious.

oh class started

shit

IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING

LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY

JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD

“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”

“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.

LMAO POOR DAVID

“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”

He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.

yup, that's them.

“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”

“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”

He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.

Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.

Idiots

ok, there is so much to unpack here.

DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??

These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI

“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”

“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.

“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.

of course, he is.

G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD

oh shit

oh shit

WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME

what's the rumor and who do I need to kill

He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.

what is her problem?

what the fuck

I need a minute

I need a minute to digest that

I'm so glad I closed my camera in class

what the actual fuck did she just say

tell me I'm hallucinating

times like these I wish I was Jared 19

no, because I'm actually speechless right now

Paige and Irene need therapy

OH SHE WENT THERE

“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”

THANK YOU

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON

I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him

I can't believe this

“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”

“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”

OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU

hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight

I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME

“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”

I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.

This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.

yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.

MAX IS SMOKING TOO

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

oh wait

oh they might be alec's

yeah

For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.

Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.

He kept talking about portalling people to hell.

MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!

But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.

They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.

YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.

NO MAGNUS

THAT'S IT

MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL

WE'RE DOING IT

why do we hurt others?

my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units

me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.

“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”

EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.

“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”

AS HE SHOULD

Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.

He's right though.

it'll take time. lots of it maybe.

BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.

It fucked with his mind so much.

Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS

“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”

MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER

He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.

Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.

EXACTLY

Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.

It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.

GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO

(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)

His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.

that's adorable actually.

“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”

“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”

“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”

“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.

Therapy is boring but useful so-

He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.

He needed to go back home.

UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES

I'm so proud of him for this...

I still say we kill these people.

JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE

UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF

Camilla Alvarez.

well well.

OH THEY KISSED

“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”

hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT

Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.

Rafe: OMFG WHAT

Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.

AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU

THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING

“He is hot.”

He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”

“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.

Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”

I'm liking this ship...

I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP

but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs

Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.

Rafe: ????

Dad: I hv friends thr.

Rafe: ???

Dad: Thy r watchn u.

Rafe: Creepy but okay.

HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV

THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL

Do it

MILA IS GOING TO NY!!

I like her. she's nice.

He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”

“Why?”

“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”

honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs

Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.

no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.

“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.

LMAO

Max and I are vertically challenged.

“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”

So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.

well-

“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.

“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.

“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”

“Dick."

I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO

When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.

There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.

There was only growth.

His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.

This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.

YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.

“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”

Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”

“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”

I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.

“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”

YES EXACTLY

“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.

“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.

“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”

affectionate sigh that's alec.

“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”

Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”

“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.

Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.

Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.

Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.

I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class

I'm so proud of him.

“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”

“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.

“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”

THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.

THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG

“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.

Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine

“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”

YES CRISTINA

“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”

What if I just strangles him

“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”

“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.

“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.

“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.

“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.

The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)

THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL

“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.

YES ANJALI

Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”

“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.

CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES

“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”

“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”

YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE

“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”

SHOW THEM, QUEEN

How did she know his birthday????

ahem

“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”

There was absolute silence then.

“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”

The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.

“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”

She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.

Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.

also, alec looking scared-

“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.

“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”

“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.

YES YES AND YES

“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.

“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”

“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”

“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”

Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️

"She hates me!"

“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”

Stupid but brave.

YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!

ANJALI WHO HURT YOU

WHO DARED TO

Names. Give me names NOW

Jaime no...please no not Jaime.

please please, please

ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...

“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”

This is such an Anjali thing to say.

OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??

me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...

BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...

UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE

see ya on Friday!!

OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.

But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!

Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!

[yoursinfulurges]

Toxin and Venom

Slight Dark!Peter Parker x Dark!Reader

Description:

In which a seemingly loving relationship appears greater than it is...

There was something rather terrible about this young man's naive exterior. Though nobody could pinpoint where exactly the dreadfulness laid. His eyes shined a little too brightly, and his words were coated in thick sugar, enough to appear disingenuous to the skillfully trained ears. But there hidden behind is smile concealed the sinister morals of a true manipulator.

Oh' but she was no better herself, twisting words to favour her narrative. Playing as if she was nothing more than a meek little prey.

Warnings: pure angst with an underlining layer of toxicity.

Disclaimer: This is a REWRITE of one of my old stories dated back to a year ago, so if it sounds familiar that is why. This story was originally written for Jung Jaehyun from NCT but seeing as though I've fallen out of love with kpop at the moment, I wanted to repurpose it for my new followers that I've harbored since The Venom Within, as I'm very proud of the way it was written and concluded that I wanted to share with you all. I did improve and change quite a lot so you won't be reading the exact same story and I decided to add a twist to it.

Note: This is more so a college au so the fact that Peter is Spiderman is insignificant...

Word Count: 4.k

_____________

Your boyfriend, Peter, had always been the most kind and caring person you knew. Ever since you met him, and even after months of dating, he still acted like the bashful, kind Disney prince you took him for. Only treating you with nothing but respect and admiration; you often wondered if this boy was even capable of making an insult, or had a bad bone in his body. Fore he acts way too nice and sweet for his own good. Controlling at times but it was with all good intentions...

Originally, you thought the kind gestures and lovely sweet talking was his way of subtly flirting, but after years of dating him, you came to the realization that it was just simply him. Peter didn't need to pretend to be kind and sweet like other guys; given that it was like second nature for him. You loved the boy to death. He showered you with so much love, spoiled you with affection. Treated you like his queen; His shining jewel. Out of the two years that you'd been together, not once has he wronged you.

    That is, up until this exact moment...

You stand there in the middle of the kitchen, tears streaming down your cheeks. At this point you had stopped listening to what he was saying. In fear that if you continued to listen to his harsh words, more of your love would begin to fleet away, and you couldn't afford to lose any more. Despite of all your excessive yelling, you loved Peter. And he meant so much to you. But seeing him in this state, angry and hostile, attacking you viciously with his words, you began to question your future with him.

You couldn't quite fathom what brought on this newfound aggression in your relationship. Though, you had a slight seeking suspicion that it was from all the post-exam stress you both had to endure. Weeks upon weeks of studying and sleepless nights finally took its toll on the both of you. Thus bringing you to this exact moment in time. The once loving home corrupted by the harsh spoken words that fell from both of your lips. Anger and aggression filling the room, space welcoming the negativity with open arms. You had both tainted it...

That was not the boy you fell in love with, but instead somebody meaner, a-kind to venom...

Then again, you weren't a saint yourself either, words you wouldn't have ever thought of saying spilled out of your mouth like toxin. You needed to do something fast to mend your relationship back together...

The mere thought of breaking up with the man hurts you so dearly. You just wanted your loving boyfriend back from what ever abyss he dissapeared off to. Typically your fights never lasted this long, but this one proved to be quite challenging. You just wanted him to stop yelling. But in fear of the unthinkable outcome of your protest, you kept shut and held onto the remaining pieces of your heart. You knew for a fact that Peter would never dear to lay a hand on you, so you tried very desperately to push those thoughts aside. However, his following statements made both tasks very difficult. It was as if he was challenging your composure. Like he wanted the flood gates broken.

Like he wanted you to cave in to the malicious voice whispering in your ear...

His words could've very well be from all the stress, ..or pent up insults and remarks that he'd been silently keeping in. You had no way of telling. You prayed and hoped that it was the first one rather than the assuming latter. Because maybe then, you would consider forgiving him. Even though the words punctured you like bullets, penetrating your inner layers and hurting you in more ways than one. This was not your Peter... You questioned the morals behind his words, were they intended to hurt you, or was it just in the heat of the moment. Regardless, you knew that his words would be something that lingered on forever in your head.

"I don't even know why I stayed this long with you, honestly! What do I even see in you! Stop being so unreasonable! You're easily replaceable, so i don't see why you're acting so high and mighty. News flash y/n, i could do a lot better!"

         And there it was...

His current state and demeanor rivalled that of which the one you used to know. The soft spoken, kind, sweet, shy Peter. The one that still plays with legos despite being nineteen years old. You'd give anything to have him back...

You always knew that Peter could do better, but hearing this from him was a lot different than you saying it to yourself in your head. Before you had started dating you knew he had a chance with Michelle. She was a very pretty girl that went to your university, she was also Peter's chem partner... Michelle was nice, smart, and talented. You were very aware of the little 'thing' they had going on. So to your surprise, when you heard rumors of a certain Peter Parker, looking to ask you out, you almost didn't believe. Hell, you laughed straight into Brad's face and told him he was delusional. If only a hesitant, blush faced Peter wasn't stood right behind you to prove you wrong.

Ever since that day, you questioned Peter's choice. Why did he choose you, when he could've had a chance with Michelle? Someone he was more compatible with... You figured that he saw something special in you that nobody else did. Though, his previous statement proves you wrong and tells you that he doesn't even know why he gave you a chance. You're at a drift, not knowing where this relationship is headed, or where to stand. Knowing that you were replaceable to Peter weakens you. Were you really that insignificant to him? Were you a chore to be around? If so then why did he stay for two years? All these questions ran through your mind as you're frozen in a state of shock. How do you follow such a thing?

You stand silently, wails threatening to break free from your lips, as you shake. Instantly covering your mouth with your palm. You watch as he screamed at you more, words blocked out by the ringing in your ears. Truthfully, you were glad you couldn't hear his words, not knowing how to reciprocate to any more of his personal attacks.

The familiar feeling of despair began to conjure in the pit of your stomach. The tightness in your chest began to focus on your beating heart, constricting you like a boa preying on its meal. Everything around you became a hazy blur as the non stop ringing became more prominent. The cause being your angry boyfriend and his heart-wrenching words. Jolts of anxiety began to climb up from your figure tips, like a thousand spiders crawling on your skin. A feeling you know all too well crept up from behind you. You were beginning to feel frantic and scared, as your breathing became unstable.

You were becoming erratic, desperate to end the fight and be in his arms again.

"What!? Huh, not gonna clap back with some snarky remark. Admit it, you know im right!"

Peter's face was a striking shade of scarlet while he paced back and forth, hands finding themselves tangled in his hair as he mumbled inaudible words. His hair, you remember running your hands through his curly, brown locks this morning when you woke up. Oh, how happy and blissful you both were twelve hours prior to this moment. You both were so content and hopeful with the prospect of your relationship. Being able to finally spend time with each other after a stressful week. Originally, you had planned a date night with Peter. But things began to make a turn for the worse when he began to insult every little thing you did. Now here you were, an hour and forty-five minutes late for your reservations.

A taste for bitterness began to fill your mouth, as your insides churned. Waves of sadness and despair hit you like a tsunami. You suddenly couldn't stand the thought of staying in the same room as Peter. Let alone sleeping in one. Fore his words had impacted you like an arrow through the heart. You felt sick, disgusted, vulnerable, and above all else, hurt.

"God, you're such a fucking bitch sometimes!" Peter spat, but soon after stopped, noticing your sudden change in demeanor. Your once, fuming and aggressive facade was replaced with a much more subdued, fragile, hurt exterior, mirroring how you felt inside. You had given up. The bandage that held your heart together snapped.

You looked up at him, hurt written all over your face. Instantly, Peter rushed your way. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, apologize for calling you a bitch. But stopped when you held your hand out and shook your head, a sob erupting from your mouth. Suddenly, all the hurtful things Peter said rang through his own head.

Oh...

Shit!

"Baby, I-" He started, not knowing how to follow. His mouth suddenly became dry, letting out a sigh of regret. Voice coming out weak and pained. His chest tightening at the sight of what he has done to you. No no no no no no.... Peter knew you weren't the type to forgive and forget. Even if you both manage to somehow recover from this, he knew that his words would always be in your head. You would constantly doubt yourself and his transparency, thinking if it was all an act.

Regret began to eat away at him once again when he noticed your uneven breathing. Another punch in his gut when he took note of your shaking. Peter's eyes quickly darted to yours, his heart breaking when he saw the amount of fear in them. He was uncertain if you were scared of him or your emotions. He wanted it to be the second one. Peter never wanted you to see him in that light. Yet here you were, having an anxiety attack because of him...

He knew that feeling all too well, having suffered from anxiety of his own, but the fact that he was the one to force you into that state shattered him..

"Don't call me that...." You spat coldy, backing away slowly into your shared bedroom. Making sure he didn't follow and locking the door. Once in the cozy room, you sob like la llorona conveying grief. You couldn't bear to see all the happy pictures of you two, when he said so himself, you're nothing special to him. Without thinking, you began to rip off every Polaroid, framed pictures, and drawings from the walls. Not caring of ripping them. You threw them all on the floor. Your vision becoming clouded by tears as you sob. Ruining the white fabric of your oversized sweater with your makeup contaminated tears.

Your body halts, the last remaining picture was of the both of you on your first date. You always considered that day as the happiest moment of your life. But now knowing that you're just a pit stop in Peter's life, the memory manifests into something much darker than obsidian.

You inhale as you looked at the picture one more time. It was you kissing Peter on the cheek. He donned a beautiful cheshire smile, his freckles displaying proudly under the sunlight. He wore a red, hooded sweatshirt with his hero, Iron man's logo depicted on the top right corner. You always love it when he wore sweaters, especially that one. You remembered every emotion you felt as the picture was being taken. Even if you didn't, your expression held it all. You radiated happiness as the butterflies in your stomach became restless. You were so happy...

You sob lightly, your thumb caressing his face as you looked fondly at the picture. Suddenly, words that fell from his mouth earlier replayed in your head. He had purposely attacked your deepest insecurities. Jabbed and taunted you. The Peter you knew would never result to something so cruel and petty. Without putting much thought into it, you began to take the picture out of its frame.

Your ears perking up when you hear the familiar sound of the lock being picked. The jiggling of the doorknob was something you grew accustomed to. Having locked yourselves out of the bedroom on more than one occasion....

Taking one final breath, you rip the picture in two and retreated into the master bathroom. Once the door was slammed shut and locked, all hell broke loose. As if it couldn't have gotten worse alright. Your wails grew louder and more repetitive that you were being to sound like a banshee, mourning for her decaying heart. Eventually, you found yourself curled up in the bathtub, suppressing your cries into your knees as you lowered your head.

Peter finally succeeds in picking the lock, after what seemed like hours, and once he creaked opened the door of your shared bedroom, his heart broke in two. Parts of him began to deteriorate, he wished he had never said those hurtful things. He felt numb and out of touch with reality, sensing his anxiety looming over his shoulder. Peter knew that one of your biggest insecurities was never meaning much to somebody. And that weren't fond of feeling worthless and neglected. He knew your background and upbringing well enough to know just how much you disliked being treated as such.

All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms and kiss your tears away. A pool of sadness brimmed his eyes as he evaluates the damage. From one corner of the room to the other, pictures were left scattered and discarded. The framed drawings of him that you illustrated, sat on the floor of your bedroom, frame cracked and shattered. The Polaroids he held ever so dearly to his heart, littered the bed and floor. He broke down in tears when he sees the torn picture of you both.

How could you vandalize such a treasured memory. But then again, how could he hurt the most precious thing in his life. Seeing the picture ripped apart like this, he knew that somehow he affected your perspective on this whole relationship. His previous words had tainted such beloved memories, and twisted them to seem like nothing more than a one-sided love. He made you question whether he truly loved you or not. Suddenly the realization kicked in, and it kicked in hard. A tsunami of guilt and regret pierced through is heart. His insides churned and it suddenly became very hard to breathe. He suddenly became really aware of how dire this situation was. His following actions may break your relationship if he didn't act wisely.

Peter bends down to hold your piece of the puzzle, a river flow of heart ache cascading down his cheeks, wetting the captured image of you. Your sobs, which had begun to sound like cries of help, due to lack of air, rang threw Peter's ears. Suddenly he grew extremely concerned and rushed to the door, dropping your image.

Immediately, you stop when you heard soft knocks coming from the other end of the door, which was soon followed by cries and sniffling sounds.

"Baby, open the door!" You don't comply with his words and stayed seated in your place, hugging your knees tighter.

"W-what are you gonna do if i don't? Pick the lock and violate my privacy! Just go away P-peter! W-why don't you go find another girl to replace me, because apparently, i-i mean nothing to you!" Screaming at the inanimate door, or more so the person behind it, as you let out a cut short wail. You hated yourself for how weak and broken you sounded. Wishing, you could drown out his stupid words that had already engraved itself deep in your brain.

"Y-you said s-so yourself! I'm easily replaceable! I-if i had known that this relationship was just gonna be one sided then i would've never wasted my time!" Apparent in your tone and words how truly distraught you were, Peter cried harder, cold sweats engulfing his body. He winced at the thought of how broken you were. It only lead him to wonder, what exactly happened and what brought on this fight. Sounding more so a statement rather than a question in his head.

He parted his lips softly, a small whimpering sigh rolling off his tongue.

"Please y/n, just open the door. I-i just want to see you. Please... I-I need to know that you're okay...." his words laced with mixed emotions, such as sorrow and remorse. Despite his current emotional state, Peter's stature looked anything else but composed. God, he was freaking out..

Incoherently mumbling a soft 'please' as he laid his forehead onto the wood door. His hand resting above his head, fist balled tightly, as if ready to start pounding. He was desperate, eyes screwing shut tightly causing a flow of tears to glide down his cheeks. Peter's jaw clenched tightly in frustration, as he beat himself over and over again for saying such things.

After much hesitance, you stood up and made your way to the door. Peter hears the small shuffle and quickly straightens himself out. After seconds of hovering your hand over the knob, you twist it open, instantly unlocking itself and setting free all the pent up emotions. You crack open the door, almost immediately, Peter rushes in and hugs you.

You don't return the hug, silently stiffening in his arms. At that moment, the last few bits of composure you had built back up snaps loose. You become a crying mess in Peter's arms. Feelings of unmeasurable sadness cascade down your cheeks, onto his black long sleeve shirt. You try and push him away, but fail due to his strength. His muscular arms constricting you as if you would fade away.

"Listen to me please." He says softly, tears lightly streaming down his cheeks, though, not to the caliber of yours.

You sniffle lightly, thrashing in his arms. Though, it was no use, his hold was so secure that no amount of resistance would break you free. So, you could do nothing else but endure what he has to say.

"I'm sorry-

Sorry doesn't fix anything Peter, it's just a word!" The teary-eyed male hissed at your words. The amount of hurt and venom your tone held was enough to make his jaw clench and his hold to tighten.

"I know it doesn't, but it's a start. L-look, i didn't mean to say that. I don't know what came over me, or what caused me to say those things. But what i do know is that they were a hundred percent untrue. And i want you to know that..." He pauses briefly to wipe away your tears with his thumb. Dipping his head into the crook of your neck. He took in your floral scent, hoping it would help him regain composure. You feel a tug on your heart at how utterly hurt and small he sounded.

"I love you with all my heart, and that you are the most unique girl I've ever met... If anything i don't know how i even managed to get a girlfriend as beautiful and amazing as you..... Wanna know why I'm with you?" You nod lightly into his chest. His hold readjust itself as he lays his head above yours. Almost content with your slight gesture, but he needed to be sure you were happy.

"It's because you accept me for who i am. You don't pressure me to be perfect all the time, you welcome my flaws with open arms; don't expect anything from me and shower me with so much love everyday... I want you to know that i could never replace you, not that i would ever want to. How did i ever get so lucky... Please y/n, you are one of the most important people in my life.... I-i can't loose you too..." Peter couldn't fathom a future with out you in it. He grew frantic, thinking that this day could be the last together. And that there would be a slight chance that you didn't want to forgive him again. He couldn't let that happen...

"Please say something...." He sighed whilst tears brimmed his eyes, taking your tightening hold on his shirt to keep moving forward.

"Do you remember when we first started dating, that night i texted you that i was frustrated and my anxiety was acting up... And you came over in a heart beat, even though you lived fifteen minutes away... Y-you told me to let it all out, and i cried in your arms for an hour, complaining about everything. I felt so ashamed for crying in front of you, but you told me that i was so brave for accepting my feelings... I know what i said must've hurt you a lot, but I'll do better... I'm sorry for triggering you like that." Peter's tone was barely above whisper, and if he hadn't have said it directly above your ear, you would've missed it. There he was... your Peter....

You thought back to the said memory and smiled fondly, that was the night you both realized that you wanted a more serious title on your relationship. Finally labeling each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. You thought back to all the happy memories you both shared and confirmed that a silly little fight wouldn't get the best of you. Yes, his words might've hurt, but his actions now out ways all of his petty insults. You give into your flourishing heart and forgive him.

Backing away from his chest lightly, you look up at him, gasping slightly at his blood shot eyes. You hesitatly reach up to cup both of his cheeks. Wiping away the remaining tears that streamed down his face. He smiled lightly and leaned into your touch, taking one of your hands in his and place a soft, delicate kiss on it.

"We'll be okay...." You smiled at his comforting words before planting a passionate, loving kiss on his lips. Peter smiled lightly before taking your wrist on his hold and guiding them to wrap around his neck. He deepens the kiss and pulls you closer by your waist.

It was then that he realized that he wanted you to be the only women in his life. And that he wanted nobody else. Suddenly feeling an overly compelling urge in his heart to make up for his actions overcomes him. He was determined to trap you in his web of love again. He couldn't loose you too...

You smile in content, 

          portraying the victim always worked...

'Indeed, we'll be just fine.....'

Perhaps they were both awful people, fooling each other with the reality they both created. But it was done with the intent of love, sick twisted love... He was possessive and she was insecure. And together they were toxin and venom... God forbid anything that tries to get in between them...

_____________

End Note:

For those that don't understand, take notice in Peter's words and how drastically different they are from when he was mad to when he was apologizing. Sweet at first glance but if you really dig deep you'd notice how sugar coated everything seemed, like he's saying what you want to hear. And as for the Reader, I purposely left out how much she contributed to the fight in the beginning to make it seem as though she was the victim, when in reality she was also at fault. The anxiety aspect of this story was very much 'real' since I described what it felt like for me and I wanted her to suffer from anxiety yet have something be a little off. Now, I'm not claiming that the bedroom part was a whole scene to feed her victim persona, but that's up to how you want to view it. This story is subjective and can be taken however way you want to.

[starsbythepocketful12]

headcanons cause i’m in flarrie hours

they are THE couple when it comes to halloween costumes

all their outfits for big events (parties, gigs where dirty candy and/or jatp perform) are coordinated

carrie my femme queen & flynn my nonbinary lesbian darling

go to protests & marches together

flynn lends carrie books by her favorite Black female authors & carrie lends her books by her favorite sapphic poets

they make playlists about each other but the other doesn’t know they do it (julie & kayla are the only ones permitted to know of the existence of these playlists & have been sworn to secrecy, though julie has a strong suspicion carrie also makes playlists about flynn and vice versa)

have a joint pinterest account for their wedding moodboard

carrie adopted a tiger cub and named it flynn for their three month anniversary

they go to the mall together every other weekend and shop, which they both love to do and when they get home they always model the new outfits they bought

flynn squeals every time they see a dog in public and always runs over and asks if they can pet it and carrie always watches her with such a fond look that the owner almost always makes a comment on what a lovely couple they are or asks how long they’ve been together (something that has actually been happening since even before they were dating, and back then you can imagine the flustered ness it caused)

flynn often comes to watch dirty candy rehearsals, cheer them on, make sure they’re staying hydrated/taking snack breaks and that carrie’s not overworking herself

carrie is the first person that flynn tells she wants to DJ professionally and carrie gets her her first gig

eventually flynn gets into producing as well and ends up making a track for carrie, who writes lyrics to it and it becomes dirty candy’s most successful song to date

carrie says i love you first one saturday afternoon while they’re watching a movie on flynn’s computer in her room. flynn laughs at a joke and carrie looks over at her, her beautiful, incredible girlfriend, and simply can’t resist the urge to say it

flynn’s shocked into silence so carrie panics and leaves and doesn’t answer flynn’s messages

that night flynn shows up at the wilson mansion and throws rocks at carrie’s window until she comes out

flynn is upset with carrie for running out and ghosting her and carrie’s trying to defend herself so they argue but then flynn interrupts carrie by kissing her and breathlessly saying, “i love you.” carrie kisses her and not another word on it is said

carrie steals flynn’s hats

they’re not really PDA-y, they just happen to engage in a lot of unconscious, casual affection, like flynn often absentmindedly intertwines their pinkies and carrie doesn’t realize her arm is around flynn’s shoulders until she’s doing it

even after months of dating will still flirt like they’re in their enemies who are secretly very attracted to e/o era

flynn really loves art, particularly murals, so she drags carrie to a lot of gallery openings and museums

at one point when flynn’s going through a hard time carrie enlists all their friends for help making a giant mural full of drawings of things that make her happy

flynn happy cries when she sees it and is pretty much always seen hugging carrie for the rest of that night

only really cuddle when one (or both) of them is sleepy, though flynn does often sit on carrie’s lap

before starting to date, carrie would tease flynn for having stuffed animals during their sleepovers at flynn’s until they started dating and flynn started spending more time at carrie’s and flynn discovers that her girlfriend’s a little hypocrite

flynn has a younger sister and brother (sister is six, brother is four) and they absolutely ADORE carrie and think she’s the coolest and carrie thinks they’re the cutest

flynn’s like no they’re little demons and carrie’s says who says demons can’t be cute? you once called me a demon right, and im cute, aren’t i? and flynn rolls her eyes and fights back a smile

flynn also has a college aged older sister who she looks up to a lot, like that’s her hero and absolute role model, so naturally carrie’s terrified to meet her, and though she tries to appear intimidating at first, she can’t keep up the act for long and starts being friendly with carrie pretty much right away

one day they’re supposed to go on a date but carrie’s sick and forgot to text flynn telling her not to come so flynn shows up at her house but stays anyway to look after her

flynn reads to her and makes her soup

trevor & flynn play video games while carrie naps

flynn makes jewelry in her free time and consults carrie for her thoughts on every piece (in junior year she starts selling them at school & turns out to be quite the entrepreneur)

they have an inside joke about cosmo and wanda

a couple of the dirty candy members sometimes jokingly flirt with flynn and are like “watch out! we’re gonna steal your girl!” and carrie gets possessive and apologizes for it pretty quickly but flynn thinks it’s hot so it works out pretty well

will watch bad rom coms to make fun of straight people and throw popcorn at the screen when they get together

pet/nick names: care, baby, babe, love, (from carrie to flynn who shuts down upon hearing it) honey, (flynn to carrie, who becomes very giddy the first time flynn says it in a text message) sweetheart

if you couldn’t tell before they ofc have an enemies to friends to lovers arc

move in together after graduating, neither planning on going to college (julie goes to berkeley and nick some other place in california where they have lacrosse cause that’s the sport he plays right) and their parents think it’ll be a disaster but it actually goes really well

the first couple of weeks they fight more, all petty arguments mostly out of the stress of moving, but they always talk it out

it doesn’t take long for them to be happy they’re living together and feel really glad they took that step

two years after graduating flynn gives her a promise ring

carrie cries her eyes out and replies “of fucking course, you dumb fuck” when flynn asks if she’ll take it

ten years later carrie’s a successful pop star/choreographer & flynn’s a record breaking producer/DJ and they’re about to buy a house when they realize they never got married

it’s just a moment where they’re relaxing together on the couch and suddenly are like. oh

and proceed to burst out laughing

it’s a small ceremony, thrown together in just three weeks

carrie wears a short, light pink dress with a heart cutout in the back that would probably be more suited for a high school sophomore’s spring fling but no one cares

flynn wears a suit, and is walked down the aisle by her older sister

they both tear up upon seeing each other and sob through the vows (the traditional pre written ones, they wrote vows for each other but they recite them to the other when they’re alone, so it’s something special only they can share)

julie & kayla are the maids of honor, nick and alex are the best men

julie & luke’s five year old hernando is the ring bearer & alex and willie’s three year old umi is the flower child

trevor, flynn’s older sister and parents cry

even flynn’s now teenage younger siblings, who as of late have often been stereotypically cynical and moody shed tears

jatp perform at the reception (they have also become a hit band at this point)

when they get back from the honeymoon the first thing they do is get a dog

they adopt a golden doodle rescue named stella

a couple years later they start talking about kids and look into getting a sperm donor

because they love being competitive they do little games to decide who will be the one to carry the baby

it’s all jokes though, they decided at the start of the process that it would be flynn for the first kid and carrie for the second

but then SURPRISE flynn has twins

a boy and a girl named tyler and ollie (who’s who i won’t tell you cause fuck gender)

they don’t even talk about carrie getting pregnant now cause they’re busy with the babies and trying to manage their careers but one night, when the kids are eight, and flynn has just flopped onto the couch with a dramatic sigh after putting them to bed, carrie puts down her kindle and quietly says that she wants another kid.

they talk for hours because while flynn wants another kid too, when you’re both celebrities with demanding jobs and people constantly trying to peer into your life, that decision involves even more factors

they decide to have another kid and carrie chooses to take a step back from her career for now-she’ll return to it eventually but for now she wants to be able to just be a parent without worrying about work and not have to deal with the guilt that comes with working when she feels like she should be being a parent

though the kids have always been their main priority and they have done quite well dividing their time between work and being with them, and have done decently shielding them from the public eye (majority of the pictures of ollie & tyler that the public has are blurry candids, and the few high quality ones are from when they were three and they no longer look like that anyway so it’s all good)

it’s a harder process for carrie to get pregnant as she’s almost 40 and flynn was 31 when she had tyler and ollie

but it happens though they’re careful about choosing the sperm donor-even briefly consider asking reggie or nick-because with this kind of thing there’s always the risk that other parent could track down where their kid ended up and want to be a part of that kid’s life later on which is uber complicated for many reasons so they get those scary possibilities out of the way by just finding someone who they know wants to be in the child’s life

preston choi, a thai & korean american mathematics professor ends up being their guy

he’s immensely genuine, sweet, respectful, polite, and gentlemanly

when he came out at fifteen his parents kicked him out of the house

it was a long and difficult journey but they’re in a decent place now

but it’s not the family he wants to have and he’s tried but has yet to find a partner

but doesn’t want to wait to have kids so here he is, more than happy to co parent with flynn and carrie

so that’s what they do! tyler and ollie become big siblings to miles wilson-choi on december 10th, 2044

miles grows up in the most multicultural home ever, being fluent in 4 languages (English, AAVE, Spanish thanks to their tia julie, Korean, and Thai) all their life

tyler & ollie welcome preston and miles into the family with open arms, as well as the addition of korean and thai cuisine to the already amazing dinner tables they had of soul and caribbean food

when miles is seven carrie goes back to work full time, with preston’s assurance that he’s got this when her and flynn are busy and tyler and ollie (who are now fifteen) promising they’ll help out as well

at that point the long awaited julie and the phantoms/carrie and flynn wilson collaboration FINALLY happens

flynn wins her 28th grammy for it, leaving her tied with beyoncé for most grammys won by any woman ever (its julie’s 14th, luke’s 6th, and carrie’s 12th, and the band’s collective 10th cause alex never did any solo projects and reggie released one country album but it didn’t win any grammys rip though it was nominated for 2 CMAs)

[foolishlovebugbaby]

ten-thousand miles gone

prologue

summary: they say time heals all wounds, but the one left by han jisung on your heart is one that you still treat tenderly. alternatively; han jisung reappears into your life like a whirlwind, knocking you off of your feet, after leaving you without a goodbye.

genre: angst

warnings: nothing triggering or rated

word count: 6k

note: in my head, the mind map of the way this particular fic ended went in so many directions, but this was very draining to write so i settled on the one that wouldn’t leave you hanging. 

been travelling these wide roads for so long my heart’s been far from you ten-thousand miles gone

In your younger years, life had always seemed to move gradually. Time seemed to be muffled by all the firsts and seconds that came and went like waves, distracting everyone from the reality of growing pains. But college certainly ripped off that bandaid, a cushion no longer supporting your fall into the harsh realities of life. 

Second semester of sophomore year had just ended, so now every college student across the country was making a beeline for the airports and bus stations, with tickets home clasped tightly between hands that were potentially developing carpal tunnel syndrome. Luckily for you, home was two train rides and a taxicab away. But like all your independent adventures of navigating life unhinged, no journey would be complete without twenty-something voicemails from your mother telling you to padlock your luggage and some vague, superstitious advice she read on Facebook. 

[To ma: yes, i didnt forget to pack your scarf and no, im not going to drink ginger and ginseng to ward off bad train spirits.]

[From ma: thank you. suit yourself , you will be bad spirit magnet !]

You chuckle and shove your phone into your pocket, hailing a cab with one hand while the other slings an abnormally large duffle bag over your shoulder. “North-Hill train station please.” You say to the cab driver and shove your luggage into the seat next to you. 

You let out a tired sigh and slump into the pleather seats. Butterflies swarmed your stomach- you always seemed to get them whenever you went back home. Back to the place of some of your greatest and worst memories. Somehow, through the years, the fear of seeing him again in that godforsaken town died down, because the thought of ever being able to see him again at all proved itself to be almost impossible. 

Even a fool knows this, you’re the best thing I’ve got…

You almost choke on your spit when that song comes on the radio. Of course that song had to come on so conveniently in the middle of your trip down melancholy lane. You have half a mind to reach over and turn the radio off, but decide against it when you see the cute old man bobbing his head to it. 

So instead your mind traces its steps back a few moments until all you’re reminded of is him. 

In your head you remember all these great experiences- graduation day, senior prom, camp nights during wintertime and summer carnivals down at the boardwalk. But then your mind tortures you and conjures up these images of what it would’ve been like to have experienced it all with him next to you and suddenly the memories become less fond. It’s treacherous, really, being your own worst enemy. But you learnt the hard way that time slows down for no one. 

When you get to the train station, you move in a daze. The muscle memory of validating your ticket and walking to the platform does all the work for you. And usually that would be a good thing, except now it only allowed you to stay in your head a lot more. It’s funny, really, how everytime you see posters and billboards of his group around you don’t flinch. Not anymore at least. Because you don’t know him anymore, and he’s probably forgotten about you.

Sometimes, you’re convinced he was just a character that your very active imagination conjured up to fill gaps in your life with meaning. But every time you open a picture of the pair of you way back when, you’re met with the reality that he was real. Even if it was just for a short amount of time, he was visible to you. Tangible. And meant galaxies to you. 

[From mama han: cant wait 2 see u back again ! have dinner with us soon xoxo] 

You smile fondly down at your phone once you’re situated in your seat, typing out a reply to the woman you consider a second mom. 

You thanked the universe for still keeping her in your life. Sure, her son would probably be known to you as the biggest jackass to exist for eternity, but she would remain sweet and tender in your heart for longer than that. 

[To mama han: can’t wait to see you too:)]

You don’t confirm your spot at their dinner table, because frankly speaking, the last time you stepped foot in their house was the summer before university when you went to drop off a box of jisung’s things that you found in your room- sweatshirts, t-shirt’s, notes and other miscellaneous items that demanded you remember every miniscule moment spent with him. And since then you’ve found every excuse not to go near that place. You knew it probably hurt the woman whenever you conjured up some arbitrary excuse to not dig in to her incredible cooking, but the finger is to be pointed at Han Jisung and Han Jisung only. Screw him. 

She sometimes tries to address the elephant in the room whenever you do get to talk during her visits at your childhood home. Like It would be great to have you both visit at the same time or Would you like me to call him? I’m sure he’s not busy right now. Yeah, subtle as a gun, but you love her still. 

You’re not one to believe in luck, and if you did you’d actually quite fancy yourself as the most unluckiest person of them all, but you thank the heavens that he’s never been back home the same time as you have. Either that, or you’re just way too good at being further than a 10-mile radius from him. Like last semester break, when you got word from one of your childhood friends that he would be in town so you decided to cancel all your plans of going back home under the guise of going on a group excursion somewhere up north. Obviously, all you did was stay in your dorm and binge watch Gossip Girl for three weeks, but you concluded that anything would be better than having to confront your demons- or demon. Singular.

What would you even say if you saw him? Realistically, not that much. Ideally, you’d destroy him with words. All that pent up anger for him leaving you behind and all the unresolved feelings left to concentrate in an urn you buried deep in yourself exploding like Pandora's box right before him. 5 years passed, and yet you still found it difficult to imagine what a conversation would be like with him again. 

Honestly, you’d tell him to stay a while longer, just so that he’d remain vivid in your memories once he decided to leave again. 

When the taxi cab pulled up in front of your childhood home, you were half asleep and in desperate need of a solid meal. “Thanks, keep the change,” you say groggily as you pass the money to the driver. 

You take a deep breath once you’re out of the car, your duffle bag slung around your frame. It’s been a very long time since you were last here. The months seemed to pile up without you noticing, and now that you think about it, it had been a good whole year that passed. You don’t know where the time went, but you were definitely here now. 

You trudge up to the door, ringing the bell once. “Hey ma,” You say as she squeals and pulls you in for a hug. “I’m glad you’re back in one piece, especially since you ignored my advice.” She says pointedly and ushers you in. “Yeah, well, I guess the train spirits didn’t feel like victimising me today.” She looks at you with her mouth hung open and slaps your arm. 

“Don’t say that!” She’s about to scold you more when your dad enters the living room in his pajama pants. “My daughter finally decides to show her face around here! Send in the doves!” You always knew that you got your flare for drama from your dad. 

“How are you doing sweetie, we missed you.” He gives you a big bear hug and you sigh. “I know, it’s been too long.” 

“There is not enough time in this world to mope around! Now, darling, it’s very late so your father and I are off to bed. There’s some leftovers for you in the toaster oven in case you get hungry,” They both smother you in a hug and you almost suffocate. “We’d love to hear all about your university in the morning. Sleep tight honey.” 

And so you’re left to your own devices. Again. Sighing, you reluctantly head up the stairs and make your way into your old room. A smile finds its place on your lips.

The room is oddly clean- you figured your mother must have emotionally cleaned in here (more than once) during your time away from home. But the walls are still the same ugly navy blue, and your star-print curtains remained planted in front of your windows with planet decorations all over the ceiling to match. Funny. He helped you decorate. Said it made your room feel like the universe was just the two of you.

You didn’t know that what he really meant was that you were his safe place.

You spend a good thirty-minutes unpacking, tinkering around your old room and texting your friends about your trip home. It feels like an eternity passed when you finally decide to listen to your growling stomach and go get something to eat. But you’re picky and nothing in your kitchen seems to entice you enough to devour it, so you swipe your house keys off the kitchen countertop and head to your door. 7-Eleven it is. You’re dressed in a pair of leggings and a pink sweater with fluffy slides to match, but you could care less.

As you walk out of your driveway and head down your street, you pass by his house. The lights are off (of course, since it’s an ungodly 1AM) and it practically looked like a dollhouse. 

You turn your gaze away. 

The walk to the local 7-Eleven is only 5 Hozier tracks away, so you reach there in no time. Your tummy growls when you enter, and you immediately head to the instant section. Hmm, ramen, tteokbokki or pasta, choices choices choices…

You’re too busy pondering to notice the figure clad in sweats and a baseball cap standing frozen at the end of the aisle, gaping like a fish your way. He practically isn’t breathing, but your presence had knocked the wind right out of his chest. 

“Y-Y/n?” He manages to breathe out, and you look around, confused. Did someone just say my name?

Your eyes slowly turn to his figure, and you can barely see who it is from afar. Tan skin can be seen from the collar under his hoodie, and dirty-blonde hair peeks out at the ends of his baseball cap. You feel like you’re seeing things, because you know that baseball cap. You bought it. 

Slowly, your eyes trail over his face, and you feel the air leave your lungs.

Jisung still remembers the last time he saw you. Well, the last time he saw you before he didn’t say goodbye. 

It was a Thursday afternoon, History class had just ended. On the way out, he caught a glimpse of you. He hadn’t seen much of you the entire week, but that was because he was actively trying to avoid you. But there you were, at your locker putting away your books with that puppy-dog expression you always wore whenever you were tired and in need of a good nap. He stood for a few moments, taking you in. Even if your hair was messily up in a bun with a hoodie two sizes too big drowning your frame, he still thought you looked like an absolute dream. He wanted to go up to you and ask you how was calculus? And when you pout and say boring, he would suggest you come over for some hot chocolate and a movie. And you would say yes, with a sleepy, lopsided smile, and his body would feel all warm and fuzzy at the sight of you.

But he doesn’t do any of that. Instead, he leaves his heart by the lockers, and with one last look, he walks away. His jacket does nothing to warm the cold that creeps its way up.

Had he known he wouldn’t get to see you one last time after that, he would’ve watched you for a few seconds longer. Had he known that you would fall sick and stay home from school the day before his flight, he would have told you to take better care of yourself. And had he known that the last time he’d see you would be when you’re drained and tired and down, he would have gone up to you to make you smile, one last time. 

He never stopped recreating pictures of you in his head, fearing the outlines of you would fade. 

Except now, as you stand a mere six feet away, he feels as though you stepped out of his mind and into his world once again. He can see you. You’re there. 

None of the pictures of you that he drew up in his head would ever compare to the way you looked right then. Beautiful, just as he remembered you.

Your name feels like a foreign language when it leaves his lips. 

The air is so thick between the pair of you that it makes everything around him slow down. He sees your eyes move from confusion, to shock, to utter fear and bewilderment, and then to pain. It feels as though a knife impaled his heart when he sees your eyes quiver.

He always loved your eyes. Dark brown, like freshly turned over earth, warmed by the sun. They look at him with sorrow now. 

Your arms drop to your sides and your lips quake, “J-Jisung?” God, he forgot what it was like to hear his name in your voice. He hates that it’s said with so much heartache. 

You run out without thinking twice. 

“Stop, slow down! W-wait!” You hear his voice call out for you, but you continue to run- where? You don’t know. You just wanted to get away. Your feet take you far down the sidewalk, lamp-posts your only source of light at this time of night. 

But you’re not fast enough, and for the first time in a long time, you feel his grip on your arm.

“Let go of me,” You say, your voice already breaking. He breaks with it.

“Y/N listen-” He pants out.

“No, let go of me!” You snatch your arm away from his grip. God, you’re furious. And hurt. And every other emotion there is to feel when you see the person who left you with nothing.

Your raised voice startles the two of you, and you both stand there for a moment, breathless. From running, from shock. 

He doesn’t say anything and just gapes at you, “Well?” You provoke pointedly. “What? Cat got your tongue?” 

“No ‘Hey y/n! How’ve you been? Long time no see since, you know, I abandoned you’.” You say harshly and the knife in his heart twists. 

“I know you’re hurt-” You cut him off.

“Hurt? Hurt? Hurt doesn’t even come close to what I feel, Jisung.” All the words you want to spew get caught in the back of your throat and you fight yourself to keep it together because you don’t want him to see you cry. You don’t want him to catch you vulnerable and raw, because you don’t know if you can trust him with that part of you again.

“Can we please just- can we please just talk?” He begs, and you scoff. “Please?” His eyes plead with you, and you frustratedly run a hand through your hair. 

“So talk.” You cross your arms over your chest and look at anywhere but him. He doesn’t say anything, and each time he tries to, all he does is end up biting his tongue. Where does he even begin?

“I’m sorry,” He croaks out, even though it’s the worst thing to say. 

“Great. All is forgiven.” You’re ruthless, but that’s only because he didn’t show any mercy when he left. 

He searches your eyes, not knowing what he could say to make things right. Or if that was even a possibility anymore. You both stand in silence for a while, and slowly your resolve breaks away.

“Why?” You say, your voice coarse and exhausted. “Why’d you do it? I tortured myself for months- no, years asking myself what I did wrong that caused you to leave me like that. What- was it something I said? Something I did? Please- tell me, I’m begging you,” You’re full-on sobbing now, tears flowing down your face like waves. They twinkle in the warm streetlights and he feels the ground beneath him crumble. The wound he left on your heart was ripped open again, and you couldn’t help but bleed in front of him. “P-please, Jisung. It’s been killing me for so long.” 

Tears leave his eyes, “It wasn’t your fault,” He says softly. 

“Then what was it? Because for all this time I broke myself down, questioning why you left like that. For so long I thought you were mad at me- I thought you became tired of me, bored of having me around. Do you know what that’s like? Tearing yourself apart to find answers you know you can’t answer by yourself?” “Shit, I thought you didn’t need me anymore. Which sucked, because I needed you.” You whisper through ragged breaths and he takes careful steps closer to you. 

“Of course I still needed you- I haven’t stopped needing you, y/n.” His voice is as broken as yours.

“Then why?” Your voice is barely above a whisper and you struggle so hard to not fall to the ground. 

“Do you know what it felt like to wake up one morning, clueless and thinking everything was fine, and then finding out that it was, in fact, not? Do you know what it was like to find out the person you cared for the most up and left you alone and with no explanation- not even a single goodbye? To be desperate to hear his voice again, and wonder to yourself why it was so easy for him to cut you off like that?” He stood right in front of you, so close that he could touch you. 

“I searched for you. I still looked for you in the hallways at school, hoping it was just one of your stupid pranks. I waited in my room for you to climb up to my window again and whisk me away to the park for one of our late-night walks. I called your phone for days, just in case you’d finally get annoyed and pick up. You never did. You never did,” You didn’t notice that your face was in his hands and that he tried so desperately to wipe your tears away, his own streaming down his face.

He sucked in a breath, “I left like that because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get on that plane with you watching. That I would drop everything, all my stupid dreams, to stay in this stupid town for god knows how long with you. Leaving you was the most painful part,” 

“That day I found out I passed the audition- do you remember? You were so happy for me, more happy than I was. The only thing on my mind was the fact that I had to leave everything behind to chase after this dream- to chase after a dream that came true because of you. I wasn’t sure anymore. But you were so sure of me, so ready to see me attain everything we talked about, that the thought of all of that being in vain because of my cowardice ate me up inside. I thought that maybe if I could keep you at a distance- make you mad at me for ignoring you, have you hate me- that it would make it a little easier to let you go of me,” Your lips quiver.

“It wasn’t easy-”

“I know, I know that.” He rests his forehead against yours and squeezes his eyes shut as he hears your soft sobs. “It was so that I wouldn’t have a memory of leaving you behind in an airport. I wasn’t ready to have that image in my mind haunt me. I’ve regretted it everyday. You have to believe me when I say that.” 

“Then why didn’t you call back? Or even send a message?” Your eyes search his for answers as you pull your forehead away from his to get a clearer look.

“I thought you hated me. That you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” 

“Bullshit. You thought wrong.” Angrily, you push at his chest with closed fists and shut eyes, “You thought wrong,” You push him away until you’re no longer in his grip. “Let me go,” You whimper when he tries to reach for you again. “That doesn’t justify why you left me like that. I felt like I meant nothing to you for so long. You threw me away like I didn’t mean anything- made me feel like I was insignificant.”

“You meant everything to me!” He shouts out, shocking you into silence. “Don’t you see it?” When you only stare at him in confusion, he sucks in a breath. 

“The mere thought of leaving you was enough for me to think twice. Sitting with you in French class and giggling because we didn’t understand a word, spending so many nights with you in your ridiculous dinosaur onesie, getting to walk around aimlessly until 4am in this godforsaken town as if time wasn’t fleeting- I-,” He runs a hand over his face, frustratedly wiping his tears away. “I wasn’t ready for it to be over. I didn’t want to miss graduation, the day we looked forward to since grade school. I didn’t want to facetime you on prom night while you look so goddamn beautiful, knowing that someone else would be getting to slow dance with you. Knowing that I wouldn’t be there, that I would be missing out- that I would be missing you every goddamn day made me realise I wouldn’t be able to last without you.” 

“Selfishly ripping you apart from me felt like the only option. And it was so cruel, I know that. I’m the selfish asshole,” He takes exactly five steps to stand in front of you, and places a hand tenderly on your cheek. 

“I was selfish because I knew I couldn’t have you. I was in love with you, y/n. So fucking in love and you didn’t even know. And after all this time, I still am.” He says that last sentence in a whisper, and before you know it, his lips are on yours.

His mouth is so warm against yours, so tender, and yet they set your skin on fire. 

You pull away and take two steps back. 

“Y-you don’t get to kiss m-me like that, not again,” You say breathless. You’re reminded of sophomore year, and the kiss in his living room that made you feel weightless and lightheaded.

“Y/n-”

“I think we’ve talked enough for tonight,” Your heart hammers in your chest and the blood rushes to your face so fast that you swear you’re shivering. His eyes are illuminated by the streetlamps and you see them break right before you, defeated. Yours are no different. 

You walk away, choking back sobs.

He doesn’t try to stop you.

It’s 4PM when you decide to get out of bed. 

Your eyes are practically closed shut from your lack of sleep and you don’t bother to brush your hair, or undrape the blanket around your shoulders when you head downstairs. Your parents are sitting in the living room, oblivious and unassuming, but when they see you they almost go into cardiac arrest. 

“What’s wrong?” Your mother asks tentatively, extremely unsure as to why her daughter looked so abnormally disheveled. “Did you know he was going to be back in town?” You croak out, and she sighs. 

“So you saw him.” She states, and your dad pretends to read the newspaper. 

“Why didn’t you tell me ma, you know what happened-”

“Exactly; everyone knows what happened, and everyone knows how ruined you’ve both been because of it. But nothing’s going to change if you keep sweeping it under the rug. Honey, I know you’re hurting,” She rests a hand on your cheek and you close your eyes at the feeling. “But this is your chance to get closure.”

“What if I don’t want it anymore?”

“Oh that’s a load of cow dung. Look at you; you’re a mess.” Gee, thanks mom. 

She bites her lip and pauses for a second, “What if I told you that during your first year in college, the very first semester you were away, he came back? It was the autumn before things took off for him, and he showed up in town looking for you everywhere, not knowing you had left. I felt so bad, but you’re my daughter, and my first instinct was to protect you because I knew that for the first time in a long time, you were enjoying yourself. So I didn’t give him your new number, said your phone was broken, and he was absolutely heartbroken. I regret it slightly, but maybe this time you both can stop being constantly out of step.” 

Your mouth hung agape and your head spun. He looked for me?

“Don’t leave things like this, you need each other.” She gives you a squeeze, and you sigh. 

She was right. Years passed with so many things left unsaid, so much time gone. And as much as you hated to admit it, you were never going to get that time back. It would kill you knowing that you didn’t take the chance to fix things. You were already broken down to your bones, what’s left to chip away?

You uncoil yourself from your blanket and fling it onto the couch, groaning when you realise you’re going to have to face him again. The events that had elapsed last night were still hard to wrap your mind around, and you found yourself wondering if it ever did happen. You could already feel your heart pound at the thought of it. His words float in your mind ceaselessly; so much so that when you step out of your house, you almost miss the slumped figure on your sidewalk.

He gets up at the sound of your door closing. 

His hair was messy, pointing every which way, and the same clothes from earlier were now wrinkled and crimped. His eyes devastated you. They looked worn down and exhausted, much like yours did. 

“Walk with me?” He breathes out, and you nod. 

Seeing him in daylight is different. As you two walk, you become increasingly aware of exactly how much he’s grown. He used to be only a few centimeters taller than you, but now you only reach his chin. Barely. But his skin is the same golden tan and his cheeks remained full. You’re close enough that you can smell his scent- a scent you didn’t know you missed until now. But in retrospect, you just missed him. 

You both reach the small park in the middle of your neighborhood, and you find yourselves under the big oak tree that he had deemed our spot all those years ago. You look up into his eyes, and for a moment you remember what it’s like to feel home again.

“Do you remember the first time we found this place? You were always so terrible at hide and seek.” 

You find yourself smiling at the memory. He hid from you, behind this very tree, for so long that it had felt like you spent hours searching for him. When you finally did find him, you were angry and upset with him with red cheeks to match. 

“That’s only because you were always so good at hiding from me,” There’s ambiguity that you didn’t intend in that statement, which brings you both back to silence. 

After a while, you gather the courage to speak again. “So about that kiss-” He winces and scratches the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry for catching you off-guard like that last night-”

“I’m talking about the one on your birthday, sophomore year.” His lips squeeze into a tight line and his round eyes stare at you dumbfoundedly. 

“I-I always thought you never remembered that. You never brought it up, so I thought that it was just a mistake.” You fiddle with your fingers and gnaw at your bottom lip, feeling the heat creep to the back of your neck. 

“Y/n, it was never a mistake. I wanted to kiss you- and I did- because I was sick of being confused about my feelings for you.” You look back up at him, “I didn’t bring it up because I was too scared of scaring you away with it all.”

“Well you should’ve, so that I wouldn’t be so confused either.” His expression changes, and you didn’t think it was possible, but it becomes even more defeated than it was a few moments ago. He rubs his face with his face with his hands, leaning against the tree. 

He’s about to speak again, but your lips reach his before he gets the chance.

His soft cheeks rest in your hands as you taste him, soaking in the feeling of his warm lips against yours. This time, for the first time, the kiss lasts longer than a few seconds. 

The sensation sends shivers up your arms and down your spine. When he kisses you back, he kisses you with so much fervour that you’re worried you’ll pass out at the feeling. But his arms grip you tightly around your waist to keep you there, with him, firmly in place. Your mind is fuzzy and your heart beats erratically in your chest when he squeezes your waist. Craving him like this is new to you, and yet you can’t help but yearn for more. 

Where words failed you before, you make up for it in slow dances across his lips. 

“It was worth it, right?” Your question comes as a surprise to him. 

Earlier, when the sun had begun to set, the two of you decided that public parks were not exactly the most ideal place to have a heart-to-heart. So you walked back to his place, hands shoved in to the depths of your pockets, but your shoulders brushing against his with every step. 

The two of you laid face to face on his bed, pillow-width apart. 

“Leaving, yes. Hurting you, not at all.” He answers quietly, his hand drawing circles on the small of your back. 

Under his bedroom lights, you take his breath away. His eyes trace over your features, over every dip and bump of the outlines of your face and he hopes that this vision of you never leaves him. He takes in every mole and freckle on your face like it’s the first time he’s seen them, when the reality is that he always used to map out constellations on your cheeks while you slept. He’s afraid that if he blinks, you’ll vanish again, so he tries to keep his gaze steady on yours, unwavering and certain. The way he looks at you sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy.

“I miss you,” You say, your voice meek and he feels his heart break all over again. “I miss you too.” You both speak in present-tense because even though he could touch you, see you, he knew it would take an indefinite amount of time for the pain of losing so many moments to heal. 

He pulls you into him, savouring the feeling of your embrace. Holding you makes him feel at home, and god knows he’s been away for so long. You nestle into the crook of his neck, and his hands rest under your sweater and on supple skin, willing your pain to go away. 

There are an infinite amount of things he wants to tell you, but he figures “I love you.” would suffice for now. 

Life never slowed down. As much as it felt like it had when you spent your days with him again, the days piled up one by one. And soon enough, time caught up. 

Soon enough, you would need to book your train ticket back to the city, because your three-week long semester break would draw to a close. He would have to book a plane ticket back to glitz and glamour, and the pair of you would wind up in the same dilemma that you were in five years ago. 

Only this time, he never leaves your side during your fleeting time together. This time, he tries to make up for all the lost moments within the span of three weeks. He doesn’t let go of any chance to be with you- to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you. He imprints the feeling of his skin on yours so that you never forget. So that he never forgets. Your eyes are cosmic in the moments that you share intimately, and he soaks up every inch of you so that he never forgets what it feels like to share the same breath. 

He listens to all your stories and all your bizarre adventures with a fond smile, because you tell them with such wonder that it makes him feel like he was there. Your voice is the only one he wants in his head. 

When he drops you off at the station, he doesn’t say goodbye. But not like last time; he doesn’t say goodbye because instead he says I’ll see you soon and Get there safely. When he watches the train pull away from the platform, he prays he sees it soon again because it carries his heart with him. 

He likes to imagine that you send him voice notes of your day and how frustrated you are with you OChem professor. That you send him pictures of yourself, and all the cute little cats you come across during your walks to class. That you send him long letters in the mail like the hopeless romantic that you are. In return, he would introduce you to his members- he knows you’d get along with Hyunjin the best, because you both would like to bitch about him while he’s still in the room. He likes the idea of facetiming you whenever you have the time, and getting to say he misses you, even if it’s only through a screen. He likes to imagine that in every lyric he writes, an essence of you treads in his words, because you’re his only muse. And he envisions the day when he’s finally back in the town where time slows, up in your room where the rest of the world crumbles away and your slates are clean once again. 

But for now he watches as the train becomes nothing but a speck in the distance, waiting for it all to play out.

[lgbtyrus]

Two Exes on Mars

A Tyrus fic where they’re aged up + broken up :) It will have a ‘happily ever after’, I promise. Note: IDK if you know your Andi Mack lore, but just in case, Shadyside is in a fictional US state called Midwest.

Part 1/? (I’m thinking 3 or 4)

Words: 2,668

He kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t even rainy or cloudy outside, much less foggy. It was super bright and sunny, and Cyrus could hear every single bird in Shadyside chirping as his now ex-boyfriend walked out the front door of his house. He waited until TJ was out of his driveway to shut the door and break out in tears, pressing his forehead and fist against his door.

Why? he wondered. Why? Why? Why?

But he knew why. He knew why TJ had let him go in the worst breakup in the world. He had tried to a week ago which led to Cyrus breaking down in front of him and ended up with them back together. But the tension between them was so obviously, and it lead to TJ’s horrible mood swings and random outbursts he never apologized for. It made Cyrus feel like crap. Then in the middle of the week, TJ tried breaking up with him over text. Cyrus ignored it, and TJ went over to his house the next day like nothing had happened. Not even three days later, TJ came over to break up him a third time. For good.

That just happened two minutes ago, and Cyrus silently let him leave this time. He shouldn’t have ever let him see him cry.

“You have to go to California, Cyrus,” TJ had told him, his eyes red and his hands clenching into tight fists. All Cyrus could do was stare at the floor. It’s not everyday you get a chance to go to USC, but it also meant leaving everyone you loved behind- including TJ. Him and TJ had been together since the 8th grade, and he had included TJ in all of his future plans. For him, being in a long distance relationship was a possibility, and he never thought TJ would be against it.

“I want to go to MSU,” Cyrus shook his head, refusing to look at him. TJ was going to MSU on a basketball scholarship, and yeah, they had a theatre and screenwriting, but it wasn’t USC. It was one of the hardest choices Cyrus had to make.

“You’re clearly lying, Cyrus,” TJ let out a frustrated sigh, “I know when you’re lying.” It’s true, he did. His hands always instinctively went inside a pocket, and Cyrus has never been able to stop it. “Cyrus. I know I’m the main reason why you want to stay in Midwest, but I want you to go to USC. It’s what you want.”

“Does that mean we have to break up, though?” Cyrus asked him sadly, his voice quiet. TJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair and let out a deep breath.

“We’d be doing long distance for four years, Cyrus. I don’t want to hold you back from being at your prime if you’re moping around missing me the entire time.”

“Are you just saying this because you’re the one that’s not going to be fine?” There wasn’t even a pause.

“Yes, Cyrus!” TJ said loudly, startling Cyrus. “I can’t spend four years of my life being sad because I miss you all the time, but I also can’t live with the guilt I’m going to feel if you don’t go to USC. This entire situation is driving me insane, and I really think breaking up is the best way to go.”

“You honestly think that?” Cyrus frowned, looking right up at him. He didn’t want to break down like he did the first time. “You’re just giving up? Not even giving long distance a try. After five years, TJ?”

TJ shamefully looked away before saying, “I love you, Cyrus. But I think it’d hurt less to let you go.”

“How?” Cyrus’ voice started to tremble as he spoke in complete disbelief, “How can you even say you love me right now?” TJ didn’t say anything. He just slowly walking up to Cyrus, each step taking its own time before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.

TJ pulled away, whispering, “Bye, Cyrus.”

Cyrus was now sitting on his bedroom floor, playing music louder than his occasional sob. Andi and Buffy were on their way, but until then, it was him, and a lone polaroid picture he had of him and TJ on their first Valentine’s Day together right in front of him. Him and TJ were sitting on one side of the booth at The Spoon while Marty and Buffy sat on the other side. TJ had his arms around him and was smiling in to his cheek, leaving a very fluttered Cyrus to be captured forever.

“Cyrus!” someone yelled out from downstairs. “We’re here.”

“Upstairs!” Cyrus yelled out, his voice slightly cracking. He hadn’t spoken since TJ left, and his throat hurt. He was glad he left the door unlocked for them because he didn’t have the energy to move.

Andi peaked her head through his bedroom door, frowning when she saw him, “Hi, Cyrus.”

“Hey,” Cyrus waved, “come in.” He hadn’t seen Andi in about three weeks was she was getting busy with her senior art project for SAVA. He loved her for being here during a busy time. Buffy trailed in behind Andi with two loaded grocery bags.

“We brought ice cream and pie,” Buffy held the bags up. “We stopped by your kitchen to get utensils.”

“Thank you because I was not going to move,” Cyrus said. Andi and Buffy sat down on each side of him and rested their heads on his shoulder.

“You can cry if you want,” Andi told him.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “we bought three tissue boxes.”

“I’ve been crying for like an hour, and I’m just tired of it at this point. But this is also probably just the start,” Cyrus mumbled. “How am I supposed to accept that someone I talked to everyday for five years is leaving my life?”

“I know it hurts, Cyrus,” Buffy whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. Trust me. I’m always right.”

“I know you are,” Cyrus smiled slightly. “You know what sucks the most though?”

“What?” they asked in unison.

“We already have matching tuxedos from prom.” -

Cyrus and TJ showed up with new tuxedos to prom. Andi herself made Cyrus a brand new one. The according to different sources, both Cyrus and TJ had both begged Gus to cancel their Prom Court nomination. Gus thought it was funny until Buffy stepped in, and he got scared.

Cyrus and TJ didn’t sit together at lunch anymore or do homework together or visit the swing sets every Tuesday after TJ got out of tutoring. Cyrus submitted his paperwork to attend USC in the fall and according to Amber who was at Shadyside’s community college, TJ was going to go to MSU to play for their basketball team. Buffy and Marty would be seeing him at MSU seeing they got track scholarships.

Cyrus cried every night for the rest of the school year after finishing his homework because he worked to hard to have his GPA suffer over a boy who clearly didn’t care if he fell apart. He sometimes sat in the bathtub and let music fill his whole bathroom and no matter what, every single song would remind him of TJ. Of course, that was his fault for playing the playlists TJ had made him on Spotify. He wondered if he could see that he was listening to them. He hoped he did.

Cyrus didn’t have any communication with TJ since the last texts he sent him. It was a 2AM on a Saturday night, about three weeks since the breakup. He felt horrible and didn’t know how to stop crying. Even though Buffy had told him to call him whenever, he couldn’t keep dumping everything on her.

Cyrus: hey tj I hope im not waking u up idk if you still have your phone set so that u only get text alerts from me but I just wanted to say that I miss you.

Cyrus: I miss you so much tj idk what to do without you. Everything hurts all the time and I just want to talk to you and hear you voice even if we cant date anymore please talk to me. Please be my friend again tj we were best friends for 5 years we work so good together

Cyrus: I love you. I think that ill always be in love with you.

TJ: Goodnight Underdog.

Cyrus didn’t remember what time he went to sleep, but he felt like he cried for hours after that. The pain in his chest beat him up completely until he was too weak to flip his pillow to the dry side.

At their graduation, Cyrus gave a speech and then walked off stage to everyone in the auditorium clapping. It felt surreal. When he looked up smiling, out of all of the people he saw in the sea of graduates, he saw TJ clapping. He had his lip curled up in one corner which showed that he was on the verge of tears. That was the only time that night Cyrus wanted to cry.

-

A month into USC and without a doubt, Cyrus was homesick and probably depressed. He had made a great group of friends that were similar to him and super positive. He appreciated them, but 8 out of 10 times, they could never convince him to leave his room. He just stayed in and did homework and work on his script. It was about a man who gets his heart shattered and decided to move to Mars as part of a science experiment and when he’s already in space, he realize that his ex is one of the 100 people on board. Things quickly escalate. His friends loved the scripts and always asked to read updates, but he still sent snippets to Bex because he missed her.

It had been months since the breakup with TJ that happened late April. He should be over it now, he thought a lot of the time. But it still hurt. TJ really shot a hole in his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t cry everyday like he used to. But every other few weeks, he snuck into the bathroom to cry so his roommate wouldn’t see. It was embarrassing to admit.

Cyrus kept things in a rotation. Script, class, eat, homework, sometimes friends, and sleep. It was hard to stay happy and to enjoy himself. It was hard to feel like he was living through something when he’s been dead inside for months. With Halloween coming up, he felt even worse. He’s never not had anyone to match costumes with. For five years, him and TJ did a couple’s costume and before that, him, Buffy, and Andi always had something up their sleeves. He missed all of them.

Then one day, his roommate let one of his friends into their dorm room. His roommate was part of his friend group, so there was that. Cyrus was working on his infamous script and didn’t even get a text that he was coming. Usually, he said no, though. “Hey, Rich,” Cyrus said as he walked in.

“Hey, Cy,” he said. “I was in the building and wanted to drop by.”

“Why’d you text Karson and not me?” Cyrus asked.  

“You always say no.”

“True. Anyways, what’s up?”

“We need one more person for our Halloween costume. It’s Full House. We need an Uncle Jesse. You in?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus grinned, “of course.”

-

“Damn,” his friend Bogie said. “That TJ foo fucked you up bad, huh?” All eight of them were sitting around a bonfire before Thanksgiving break. It had been a long night of confessions and telling each other things not a lot of other people knew. Somehow in the moment, Cyrus spent thirty minutes telling them the becoming and downfall of him and TJ. Rich had convinced him to go to therapy on campus early November, and Cyrus wished he had gone sooner. It was getting so much easier to be around his friends and have open conversations.

“Yeah,” Cyrus admitted. “I cried everyday for months. I still cry sometimes.”

“Is that why you spend forever in the bathroom?” Karson asked him. Cyrus nodded.

“Damn, Cy,” Roxana mumbled, “no wonder you were so distant at the beginning of the school year. I thought you were just stuck up, but I guess I was wrong. I’m glad you trust us now, though.”

“Me, too,” Cyrus said.

“So, this TJ,” Bogie asked, “what’s he up to?”

“Besides knowing that he plays basketball for Midwest State U, I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since I last texted him after the breakup. I’m still good friends with his sister, but she never says anything.”

“Dang, so he’s a baller?” Bogie asked.

“Probably just getting fucked up at parties,” Mikhenna suggested. Cyrus didn’t respond. He just shrugged.

“Do you still love him?” Roxana asked him.

“I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head. “I’d be stupid to. But thanks for listening, guys. I feel a lot better. I feel like I belong and that I can finally move on.”

-

Cyrus didn’t see the point of flying all the way back home for a week long break, so he decided to stay behind in California and take a train to his aunt and uncle’s place. They had a daughter that thirteen and always had juicy middle school drama.

When he was laying down on the bed of the guest room, his phone started vibrating. Buffy was on Facetime, and he answered immediately saying, “Hey, Buff.”

“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy grinned widely before switching the camera, “look who’s with me!”

Andi waved at the camera, “Hey, Cyrus!”

“Andi,” Cyrus grinned. “How are you? We haven’t talked in like four days.”

“I know right,” Andi laughed. “I’m fine. What about you?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” he said before registering completely that Andi was in Shadyside. “Wait,” he paused, “aren’t you supposed to be in Pennsylvania?”

“Yeah but a professor died, so they gave us two weeks off instead of three days and just postponed winter break.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea who he is,” Andi shrugged. “But where are you?”

“With my dad’s sister and her family. I’m just chilling and eating home made food before I go back,” Cyrus smiled. Andi moved over to sit next to Buffy and Cyrus noted that they were at the Mack’s place.

“So enough of that,” Buffy said and then looked at Andi who gave her a stern look. “Come on, let me tell him.”

“Well now you have to tell him,” Andi rolled his eyes.

“That’s very true,” Cyrus agreed.

“I know,” Buffy smirked. “That’s why I said that. Anyways,” she looked right at the camera, “we went to the mall with Amber in her car, but it broke down in the parking lot when we were leaving. She had to call TJ to come pick us up, which was already awkward enough because I always ignore him at school, but I was like whatever, it’s a twenty minute drive. Then in the car, literally, this man, I mean, boy, can ask any question. Any question in the world. Preferably, one directed at his sister, like you know, has your car been acting funky for a while? But he asks me and Andi, ‘How is Cyrus doing?’” Cyrus’ heart dropped. He hasn’t heard anything about TJ in so long he’s forgotten how to react.

“What did you say?” Cyrus asked nervously.

“I said that I charge $50 per fact,” Buffy said, “and he didn’t say anything else.”

“That’s weird,” Cyrus frowned. “I wonder why he doesn’t just ask Amber. I literally call her once a week, every Tuesday.”

“No idea,” Buffy said. “But maybe she just doesn’t answer him for the same reasons I didn’t.”

“Which are?”

“We love you.”

-

anyways follow my main @webarebares <3 thank you for reading! feel free to send asks if something was confusing or if a typo was horrible or just because. i luv u.

[peterjakes]

My Mad Fat Diary Fanfic - The Two Months - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Chizzy: The Final Tour

The title is so cringe I know! I don't know if anyone's actually reading this but I've been away which is why the delay for an update. A slightly shorter chapter but I enjoyed writing this. Izzy and Chop are so cute but even they have their problems.

Also posted on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20154688/chapters/47769328#workskin

Izzy was one of the most excitable people in Stamford, she was like a little puppy, especially when it came to spending time with Chop. It was a miracle they were still together if Izzy was being completely honest. She was glad, of course, but that didn’t mean she didn’t hate her behaviour. She shouldn’t have done anything with Peter. End of. And she shouldn’t have blamed Chop, even if he had been completely horrible to Archie and acted as if Izzy’s feelings didn’t matter. He shouldn’t have gotten jealous about Izzy hanging around other boys, but Izzy supposed that she just proved him right. They were fine now, but sometimes she wished they’d gone about everything differently She loved Chop, even if she hadn’t actually said it yet. Not properly. Little ‘love ya’ goodbyes didn’t count in Izzy’s eyes. He’d said it her, quite a few times, more so recently but Izzy imagined that was just because of everything that happened, so that didn’t really count either. She wanted to say it, but just went to jelly whenever she was with Chop, even more than when he didn’t notice her.

Chop had rung her earlier, said he had a big surprise with made Izzy more nervous than she had been for a long time. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? Izzy hoped for something that would break the tension between the two, because she hadn’t been enjoying that. Chop wanted to go to the pub, but Izzy didn’t want anyone to walk in on them so suggested going to his flat. She didn’t particularly like Chop’s flat if she was honest. It was quite messy and grubby. If Izzy lived there, she would make it the cutest, little flat in Stamford. Izzy liked decorating and begged Chop to let her do some work or even just show him her ideas, but he refused, saying it was perfect as it was. It wasn’t. Nothing was perfect in their relationship, not really. Everyone outside always said how cute they were and how nothing could break them. How wrong they were. Chop didn’t seem to have a clue either. Thought everything was all fine now the gang were back together, but Izzy was still reeling from what happened. It was quite surprising, because Izzy hardly got angry about anything. But the way Chop had handled the situation didn’t sit right with Izzy. To be fair to him, he had apologised to Izzy and Archie. He had tried afterwards to not make it awkward. But Chop could be pretty clueless about everything. And he never spoke to Izzy about how he was feeling. Typical boy. All of these thoughts swam around Izzy mind until she reached Chop’s flat, she still had a spare key but hardly every used it. This wasn’t one of those times. If she was going to talk to Chop properly about everything, she was going to have to grow some balls.

In comparison, Chop was beside himself with glee. Meeting with Archie had actually made him see things clearly. Everything was fine, with everyone. And one of his legendary sexy parties? Who could resist that? Things will Izzy had been pretty solid too, all things considering. They’d both messed up but Chop mainly blamed himself. He’d been a pretty crap boyfriend. A terrible friend. And an all-round dickhead. But he going to change it. Otherwise, everything would fall apart again.

“Iz!” She was greeted by one of Chop’s cheeky grins and a peck on the cheek. He tried to go for another kiss, but Izzy managed to slide out from under his arms. Chop didn’t seem to realise and rushed her to his kitchen. It was the size of a brook cupboard, Chop seemed to have forgotten to do last night’s washing up and the night before as well. There were broken plates on the surface and a random house plant sitting inside a washing bin – at least he’d finally bought one of those.

“What’s this surprise then? Better be that you’re letting me redecorate this place!”

“Redec- nah, nah. This is a bachelor’s paradise Iz!” He waved his arms out, trying to show off how great his flat was. He thought it was pretty great. Not many lads his age had managed to secure a decent flat, especially on his wage. Izzy wasn’t so sure at the beginning, when he told her he was moving out, which surprised Chop to be honest. His own flat meant more time together. Alone. And they had that for a while but recently Chop had noticed a slight change in how Izzy acted around him. She hadn't wanted to come around as much and at first Chop put that down to college work, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell something was up. But was too scared to say anything. He didn't want to fuck up again.

“You’re not a bachelor though, Chop. It’s a mess.” Izzy wrapped one of Chop’s dirty football shirts in her hand as she said this, waving it in his face. Izzy hated it when he wouldn’t get to the point. She hated it when he made stupid remarks. But one look at that face and almost all was forgiven.

“Don’t matter, ‘lright?” He pulled the shirt outside of Izzy’s hand, dragging her closer to him. “We ‘ave very important business to attend ‘ta! ‘rnold Peters has a brilliant plan and ‘e needs his lovely assistant to ‘elp!” He wrapped his slender arms around her small waist, swaying her side to side with a small twinkle in his eyes.

“I thought you were surprising me. I got all excited for nothing.” Izzy pulls a sour face, indicating to Chop that she’s not angry, only kidding, and gives him a small peck on his lips, mirroring their earlier kiss. They haven’t been that … intimate recently. They’d kissed and made up, but Izzy hadn’t wanted things to go further. She knew Chop was frustrated, even if he didn’t want to be. She was grateful for that; she was grateful for Chop. But the problem was getting back to how they were. She didn’t even dare mention this to Chop, who thought everything was completely fine in the world. And she didn’t want to disturb that but wondered if she could carry on the way they were.

“It is a surprise! Just not for just ‘ya, for everyone!”

“Chop!” Izzy was trying to remain happy and calm, but they became very hard whenever Chop was being difficult. Not that has was that difficult, but he could be a right nightmare sometimes. Everyone said she was a saint for putting up with him and at first, she didn’t think that was fair, but recently she’d come to realise how true that comment was. All Izzy really wanted was for her and Chop to go back to normal. Or at least try. She felt like he didn’t really understand her, not anymore and she didn’t want to cause anymore trouble. Whenever she’d tried to talk to Chop about everything, he’d just brush it off.

“I need ‘ya help, ‘m gonna host the most legendary sexy party that Stamford has ever seen, ‘right? ‘ows that for a surprise?” Chop was obviously pleased with himself. And why wouldn’t he be? At least he was trying. At least he was making an effort. Everyone else seemed to just disappear again, and Chop didn’t want that. At least this way everyone could come together, properly come together and Chop could make sure everyone was cool again. That’s all Chop really wanted.

“You got me to come around here, for a sexy party? Why?”

“It’s Arch, Iz. ‘e needs cheering up, I think. ‘asn’t been himself seen, ya know. My fault really.”

“Oh, Chop. I thought we’d been over this. Everything’s fine. You just…” Izzy moved to wrap herself back around Chop, but he slithers away.

“ya gonna ‘elp meh or not?” Chop gave Izzy a look that a year ago would have made her melted but now made her feel intensely guilty.

“Yes, yes I’ll help!” She gives Chop a reassuring smile, but even he can tell she isn’t completely sure about his plan. “But I mean it, it was all our fault. And… I want us to be okay, don’t you?”

A slightly confused look merged on Chop’s face. “Aren’t we?”

“Y-yes, but parties can’t solve everything, you know.” In Izzy’s experience, some of Chop’s parties actually made things worse. Like when Finn and Duke ended up having a brawl across Chloe’s garden in October. Or when Archie and Rae got completely soaked because Barney had forgotten to turn off his dad’s hose. And those were some of the tame examples Izzy could remember.

“Just wanted ‘ta cheer ‘im up, Iz. Cheer ‘ya all up. Fucked everything up, didn’t I?” It was in this moment that Izzy realised that a down beaten Chop was not the Chop she should have been wishing for. This was her Chop. The real Chop. Not the ‘jack the lad’ who’d buy everyone a pint or who’d hang around with complete arseholes. The one who stood up in front of everyone and told her how he felt, the one who clapped after Rae revealed about her being in hospital, the one who he kissed Archie in front of everyone. That’s who Izzy wanted. That’s who she knew she was in love with, even if she couldn’t say it. But she didn’t want him to keep blaming himself. He didn’t deserve that – he was a good person. Which was something he wasn’t told very often, especially from Izzy.

When Izzy goes to wrap herself around Chop, he lets her this time. Her small body seems to fit perfectly against his and Izzy feels at home. She always has. She knows they've hit a few rough patches, but Chop would never do anything to hurt her. He does enough of that to himself. And Izzy knows she should be there for him, just as he’s been for her. She nuzzles her head into Chop’s chest once again, before he plants a small but sincere kiss on the top of her head.

"Cheers, Iz. I love 'ya, 'ya know."

"I know," Izzy pauses and glances up towards Chop, making sure he's listening. "I love you too." Izzy could sense a wide smile forming on Chop's face, one of those lovely grins she couldn't resist.

"So, 'ya gonna 'elp me now?"

[domesticangel]

ok ive been wanting to do an OC redraw/redesign for a while now and uh, well here it is !!! top is obv the revamp and bottom is these three’s original designs ,,, the bottom pic is 9 years old (holy smokes) so i made them during my middle school emo/scene phase when i was like 12 so thats why they're.........Like That lmao but left to right in both pics is jude, elliot, and skipper!!! this was? so fun honestly

ummm lots of info/backstory about them under the cut lol

so in the original pic/designs… if I remember correctly jude and skipper were in police academy training to be cops and elliot was some punk ass kid theyd end up seeing around a lot cause he was in and out of holding for Delinquent Things, and ofc they magically became friends. Im pretty sure they were all 16/17 when I first made them which makes no sense at all (teen cops??? Ok) but like when ur 12, teenagers are Practically Adults BUT none of that is Canon TM anymore. In their redesign they range from early to late 20’s; I usually peg jude around 26-27, elliot is probably 23-24, and skipper is 21.

jude was the very first oc I ever made so shes always had a special place in my heart… I started churning out rapid fire ocs when I was in middle school that id toss when I was bored with em but shes the one that always stuck around!! Shes been a big honkin lesbian ever since her conception, so id use her a lot to express BabyGay feelings I didn’t really know how else to process. design wise I kinda just simplified her look; I have no fucking clue why she used to have an eyepatch and cat ears (I mean, I do, its because I was a weeb) but I got rid of those along with the scene hair and gave her longer hair with more natural waves and some freckles from spending a lot of time in the sun. her gray eyes and hair were always kind of her signature, so those got to stay! She mostly just wears anything that’s easy enough to move around and get work done in; tank tops, loose long skirts, etc. think futch hippy. anyways jude is now just a simple plant witch who uses her skills and connection with the elements to run a modest local farm, and even though shes fairly content in her lifestyle, she wants nothing more than a gf/wife that she can work hard to give a good life to :3c shes a hopeless romantic and has a bad habit of falling a little bit in love with every woman she meets, but shes mad shy when it comes to flirting, so more often than not shes just a sweaty ball of pining and infatuation. Whenever shes feeling some type of way about a girl she either obsessively takes on projects around the farm or house to distract herself or rants to her plants about how shes too afraid to express her feelings. RIP useless lesbian jude. Anyway shes the oldest of the trio, so shes very protective of elliot and skipper in a mother hen kind of way. She gets embarrassed when she realizes shes lecturing them like a cranky old maid, but they secretly don’t really mind it and often come to her for general life advice. I think her sign would be Taurus :3c (and probably an air moon since she’s kind of a space cadet)

elliot was REALLY FUN to redesign bc I honestly just wanted him to look like one of those people who had a HUGE scene phase way back when and just… never completely grew out of it lmao so I gave him the two-tone mullet he deserves, grown out roots hes definitely not gonna bother to re-bleach and re-dye, and piercing scars under his lip from where he used to have some tacky ass snakebites that he probably had to take out to get a job or something lol. he couldn’t completely give up piercings though, so the labret and gauges got to stay. Dudes not COMPLETELY stuck in 2007, but he does still enjoy a lot of the OG emo/punk bands and the fantasy of making it big in his own band and touring the country in a fashionably clunky van. He doesn’t exactly have a band, but hes working on that. Hes halfway decent on vocals and a guitar so he spends a lot of time combing through the local college town he lives and works in in hopes of finding some people who’d wanna play some gigs with him. But in the mean time, he works as a barista in a local café, which usually hooks him up by letting him do some acoustic sets at night every now and again. Hes a very warm and upbeat person, and will happily engage and talk the ear off of anyone close enough for him to do so, stranger or otherwise. He also regularly reminds jude and skipper how much he loves both of them and how glad he is that theyre all friends; He doesn’t really have much in the way of embarrassment or apprehension when it comes to what hes feeling. Hes the official unofficial “plan-maker” of the friend group and is able to bring them all together for quality time, because hes not at all passive like jude or skipper, and… usually has the most free time out of all of them lol. elliot is pure Leo and that’s about all there is to that

And finally, congratulations to skipper, who against all odds, looked normal enough that I didn’t really have to change anything at all about his design! Just had to ditch the uniform for your typical Tired Gay mustard sweaters. Skipper is an English major in his sophomore year of college who, like most people in their 20’s in liberal arts programs, is desperately trying to figure out what he wants out of life and also doesn’t know what sleeping or self-care is. He really enjoys writing, but doesn’t really know if he wants to do it for a living or if he even could. He grew up with pretty cold and distant parents, so on top of knowing they don’t really approve of his major, he pretty much always operates under the assumption that if hes not working himself to death hes not justifying the space hes taking up or the air hes breathing. Emotionally speaking hes more emo than elliot will ever be and his blood is probably 75% caffeine. He having kind of a rough time tbh but hes gritting it out in hopes that things become more clear eventually. He’d be way worse off if he didn’t have jude or elliot, who hes more thankful for than he can ever bring himself to express. They were essentially his first real, close friends, and despite skipper being incapable of asking for help, they always seem to know when he needs someone to talk to or even just a brief distraction; Jude has an open door policy for her farm and will let him come over and cuddle some rabbits or sit and talk over tea on her porch whenever he needs to, and elliot cant remember the last time hes made skipper pay for anything he ordered from the café, or the last time he even had to ask skipper what he wanted. Because hes the youngest of the three its sometimes their instinct to protect him, which embarrasses skipper out of his mind, but he knows they mean well. Hes the physical embodiment of Just Doing His Best and is a stone cold Capricorn

They’re still besties but basically met just from living in the same town; jude and elliot met when jude started providing the café’s local roast from the coffee beans she grew on her farm so elliot saw her fairly regularly and of course was like Oh Friend? Jude always liked how forthcoming elliot was as it complimented her generally reserved nature, and elliot always thought living on a farm and growing your own food was pretty punk rock and therefore pretty dang cool in his book. They both got to know skipper because he came to the café every. single. day. to ingest ungodly amounts of espresso and study all day, and when elliot took an interest in skipper, jude suggested he invite him to one of his gigs since the poor guy kinda looked like he needed a break. Skipper initially kind of politely shot elliot down, but jude took a chance and found skipper later to tell him how much itd mean to elliot, and that if it made him feel better she’d go with him, since going to events like this was different for her too. skipper apprehensively agreed at that point, and the rest is history !!! they all kinda hit it off after that

tl;dr

[xtswifts]

in all my years on tumblr, this is still one of my favorite gifs of tay in existence, so i shall use it now on my mega ooc appreciation post.

i am still on hiatus — it has been a ROUGH 36 hours my dudes — but i did want to drop in and post some ic/ooc appreciation things while this week is still here because i am all in the business of sharing the love. it’s one of the many reasons i absolutely adore this group. this group has always been about love, for me, and would probably be the singular word i’d use to describe my experience here.

i joined this lovely bunch back in july, i do believe? i had actually just finished up writing and self-publishing my third book which wound up being a behemoth (seriously it was a lot) and while i was absolutely and completely braindead when it came to writing, i still wanted to write. i’m a writer. that’s who i am and that’s who i’ll always be. i wanted something a lot more low-stakes, kind of go-with-the-flow, no real pressure and more collaborative than the isolating fun of novel-writing, so i turned back to roleplay. hollywood rps have always been my absolute favorites in the rpc for whatever reason; i have such fond memories in hollywood groups and it’s a fun and creative way for me to just project the love i have for my faves. after a few experiences in groups during late 2017 and early 2018 i was pretty sure that i was done with roleplay. it just wasn’t the same for me, no matter where i went. priorities had shifted and it was no longer about writing because you loved to write. but, me being ever the optimist, i decided to dive back into the tags and see what was still around or had recently popped up. i found this group and i saw that they had just had a taylor swift removed from the group, and hi hello nice to meet you i am taylor swift trash no. 1!!!, i felt like it was all Meant To Be or something like that (plus, she was taken in every other group and that’s who i really wanted to put a hand at writing). so i put in an app for her, got accepted, and i have been plaguing your dashes ever since :~))

in the four-ish months that i have been here, so much has happened in my life. i started my (outrageously stressful) junior year of college, i lost my grandma, i went to go see queen swift in atlanta and meet my baby princess camila, i have had major friend complications and doubts about my career track and i have had just really boring, empty days where everything was going seemingly okay. this group has been there for me through every high, low, and in between. this group has been my escape to run to when i’m stressed or up late at night and can’t sleep or just really looking to be social or want to write something. this group has been so welcoming, warm, and fun; i have had the opportunity to explore my character any which way that i please and form awesome plots with people, and even more awesome friendships ooc. some of you send really, really kind things my way which, fyi, i’m super grateful for and have probably cried over because this was the first time i not only felt welcomed in a group as taylor, but felt welcomed in a group as me. i am so grateful that i get to call this place my internet home and there is absolutely nowhere else i would rather be spending my free time writing. i stand by what i say: this is the best group in the tags, hands down. you could not ask for a more inclusive, diverse, welcoming, creative playground to spend your time on. to all the lovely admins over on main @hollywoodfamerp​ thank you for doing the heavy lifting and giving us a safe and warm place that we can call home. the work you do never goes unnoticed. you are appreciated and you are so, so loved. ♡  

some ~personal~ shoutouts:

@nhxran​ — peyton, you are without a doubt one of my best friends both in this group and just in general. we had an immediate chemistry as writing partners from that very first starter reply and nothing about that has changed. you are the writing partner i always hoped i would find in a group due to how generous you are in every reply, the way you are willing to headcanon and brainstorm (even at the craziest of hours) and i still remain in awe of you as a roleplayer with the way you juggle such diverse characters, all of which have their prominent voices that never seem to overlap. you are the roleplayer i wish i could be. even though we might sometimes be ships in the night ic, ooc i know that you are always there and you always have my back, and i truly hope you know that the same goes for you. i love you, you intelligent, creative, witty, beautiful, heart-of-gold woman you. i would not have stayed in this group if i had not met you. you are one of my favorite people, period. thank you for being one of my dearest friends.

@cara-x-delevingne​ — mickey, the first person to ever pop into my ims and say hello (and you were FAST about it too, lol), you have been one of my favorite people to write with! the way you breathe a life into your characters is almost unparalleled to any writer, much less any writer in a hwood group. you have such a talent and not only that, you are funny and kind and inclusive and i am so glad that there are people like you (and you) still out there in this world. we need more people like you. thank you for one of the most epic friendships i’ve ever written in a group and always challenging me to step up to the plate and bring my a-game with taylor. you inspire me and i love you. never change.

@armiehmmer​ — graaaaace, the law to my swift! you were actually one of the reasons i joined this rp; before i joined i stalked a few blogs and as i have told you (and you have probably seen via my wildin’ ass on twitter) i love jen, so much. i saw how dedicated you were to your jen and how included she was, which i thought was amazing because like my girl t, some people just aren’t about. i figured if you could put in the effort and grind hard enough with her and get positive results, i could do the same for taylor. and here we both are, killin’ it. you are such a lovely person who has always been nothing but kind, i am still endlessly jealous you were in pasadena for rep tour but we’ll let it slide for now, lol. i love you, thank you for being the epitome of grace in this roleplay. you’re a pure light and the dash is dimmer without you on it.

@jstntimberfake​ — nicki, or should i say, GOD, i don’t know where to begin with you. you are the reason i almost took home a jt standup from 2nd and charles. i love everything that you do on both of your characters. you become them, they stand so far away from the person that you actually are and i think that is the testament of a true, talented writer: they are able to convince you that they’re someone else. and you do, every time. i’m just really, really happy that i get to say that i’m in the same rp group as you because it makes me feel like a Cool Kid on the playground who has light up sneakers. you are so cool and it sometimes lowkey intimidates me, how amazing and talented you are. thank you for always putting a smile on my face. love ya love ya  

@itsscarjo​ — aria, my magnificent love. you are so well spoken and kind and as my clumsy twin, i have no choice but to love you dearly. it’s so nice to just have somebody to talk to sometimes and every time we’ve talked, it’s like being all bundled up in a warm fuzzy blanket. you are so easy to talk to and i cannot wait for the things you and i do on all of our people now that our lives have calmed the heck down and we can come on and write. thank you for being such a spectacular, inviting person. i had several other people sing your praises to me when you joined the group and i can wholeheartedly agree with them. you are one of a kind. big love

@aubreycplaza​ — marissa, i mcfreakin’ adore you. i’ll be honest, i have not had the best experiences with aubreys in the past but that all goes out the window with you. i’m obsessed with you and all of your people, and to know you and get to write with you is an absolute pleasure. thank you for being so much fun to write with, thank you for giving me so much quality stuff to stalk while i’m on the dash and feeling like trash, thank you for being so understanding of me constantly feeling like trash, i adore you. can’t wait for tay and aubrey to finally go on their fuckin girls trip and become little jetsetters together (forevaaaa)

@jamesrodriqez​ — hello stranger idk you but i think you’re pretty cool! and i think that you have been one of the most entertaining, fun people to write with in these last couple of weeks when i feel like i’m barely able to write two sentences that haven’t been written onto a powerpoint that i’m copying off of. you just give me so much excitement about writing and plotting and that excitement is something that can be difficult to find again after you’ve gotten comfortable in a group. thank you for keeping things refreshing and new for me and taylor. i’m excited to get back to all of our fun shenanigans (and to love on your new people bc yes amen) #jandrea forever

@jarpadking​ — nikki! first of all, i’m in awe at how fast you can come up with replies on TWO characters that are so well-crafted and authentic to that person’s voice. i struggle just writing a single coherent reply on taylor half the time, lmao. you are one of the hearts in this group, the way you make it an effort to branch out and talk to every single person and create connections with both the mun and the character. you’re one of the unsung heroes and if we could all be a little more you like you, we’d be the best roleplayers around. love you so much, my dear, and of course, thank you for being so warm and inclusive. people like you are rare

@itskeeoone​ — i have spent all day binging pll because that is how i choose to veg out and every time i see keegan on screen now, i think of you, em. you just write him so wonderfully and truthfully and i don’t ever want to let you go (please don’t ever leave this group or i’ll cry). taylor and keegan have given me all the life, they are very similar people and i’m happy that my 15 year old self’s dreams are coming true by their worlds colliding here in the group. i’m so excited to write even more with you now that the holidays are coming and i’ll actually, y’know, BE AROUND, but yes. love you.

@goddamnjade​ — lucy, you know anybody that is as big into the dance scene as i am HAS to get a spot on this appreciation post ;) but also, you have just been one of the loveliest people ever? i think you’re one of the hearts in this group, the reason that it is why it is and the reason that it’s so warm and welcoming. you are so inclusive and fun to write with and i really hope that i get to talk with you more ooc because i adore youuuu!

@yosebstan​ — rileyyyy, gotta admit, sometimes you intimidate me but it is only because you are an absolute fuckin’ legend in this group, and not just because of your admin status. your characters have something that a lot of people try hard to encompass but can’t ever capture, and that’s longevity. your characters never feel stale, they always feel new and fresh and like real people, not just tropes or over-concentrated personality traits and i get so excited every time i see one of your people on the dash. i’m lucky to be in a group with you, so so lucky. i sometimes hope your natural inclination for rp will rub off on me and make me a better writer. love you, and i really hope we get to do some fun stuff in the future!!

@jpgsasha​ — cami, you and i clicked so fast when we started replying to each other’s stuff back when you still had camila and i cannot WAIT to write with you as my honey sasha (seriously, a fuckin’ plus switch). we had some of the LONGEST replies on the dash at one point but when you’re inspired, you’re inspired! thank you for inspiring me and being one of the most down to earth people in this group. you deserve all the fuckin’ love. please love me so i can give it to you.

@avycias​​ — katieeee!! it legit surprised me to find out how close we are to one another #hurricane watch friends, lol. you are so sweet and your alycia is absolutely legendary, i was biting at the bit to write with you from the minute i joined this group. i hope we get to do all of the things with taylor and alycia because writing with you makes me so happy. you are wildly talented and the way alycia comes to life every time you type something is magical. you write her with a conviction and you make her your own and i think that’s why i adore her so much. thank you for being you. love you much babes

@milesdominic​ — marie! miles and taylor had one of the cutest friendships ever and it needs to make a comeback asap, because 1) that, and 2) writing with you comes so naturally (*plays naturally by selena gomez and the scene*). i barely have to think about what i want to reply to you with because there’s a chemistry there that is hard to replicate; thank you for keeping me on my toes and my brain alert and being such a fun person to write with. you give me the chance to explore sides of taylor’s voice that other people look over and that i love, and that’s all anybody could ask in a writing partner, someone who allows them to run wild!

@blccmtroye​  — fiona, i fuckin’ love your troye. he is too much fun to interact with, and i am thankful that you gave this group a shot (and that you gave me a shot). i couldn’t imagine this place without the wit and the charm that you supply with every single post you make.

@flynnpls​ — marie, i’m just in love with all of your people and you. you’re one of the people i feel like i admire from afar because i stay in awe of the way you write and how effortless it seems to come to you. you balance all of these different personalities with finesse and i really do feel like i’m talking to or reading the words of the actual celebrity in every single reply. i am crossing my fingers that i get the opportunity to write some really incredible things with you here in the future because i have such mad respect for you.

+ to everyone else that i either forgot to mention, have not really formed connections with outside of replies or haven’t had the chance to talk to you/your babies due to my super fun hiatus: i stalk so many of you on the dash and keep up with your plots and where you take your characters and it really and truly is such a privilege to be in the same group as you. they say that birds of a feather flock together and if that’s the case, i am simply a reflection of all the things y’all are. kind, funny, clever, creative, welcoming, intelligent, and a part of something, and i could not ask for more. i love all of you, whether we’ve talked or not (believe me i probably stalk you and just love you from afar) and any time you ever need a friend, call me beep meeeeee. i’m always game to do things with taylor and explore her more through whatever plots or connections we could create, and i promise that if i don’t respond to an im, it’s because i’m off on hiatus or it got eaten. i want to do ALL the things with ALL of you. come hit me up! let me love you! k thanks!!!

obligatory thank you note to my queen taylor alison for existing. love u bitch.

xx, caroline

[idek-how-do-ifeel]

I found this on Facebook and...

Idk man, I think that is going to be like that someday... but at the same time I don't want to. Bc yes, you were my first love and NOTHING'S GONNA EVER CHANGE THAT, and there's always gonna be this kind of love for you in my heart, 'cause you were the first person I loved (romantically), but I don't want it to be bigger than the love I'll have with the person I'll spend the rest of my life with (someday), really, idk, I feel like it would be so hurtful and sad

Whatever, this is what I read:

"My Wife still cries about her 'first love' and it's making me insecure.

We have a 17 year old daughter who recently broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. Naturally, she's been all waterworks and especially clingy to her mom- my wife.

One night I realize my wife isn't in bed with me so I check downstairs and she's in the living room with my daughter and they're just all cuddled up, both of them crying.

I didn't want to interrupt the mother-daughter moment but before I left, I heard my wife starting to talk about her 'first love' in great detail.

I know I shouldn't snoop but I listened to them talk from the stairs. My wife apparently fell in love with a guy in college, and she said (and I quote) "I've never loved anyone as much as. I've loved him". Hearing this was like bullets going through my chest.

She continues with more statements like, "I think about him every day", "life is never the same after falling in love for the first time", and "you always feel like something is missing".

I guess it's to bond with my daughter but those words really stung.

She does end her whole tangent with something like "Im so glad I met your father, I learned to love again and be content with life" but in the end, she did add "It feels like a compromise sometimes, but I guess the universe knows what's best for me. You'll find the universe has someone who will love you more than you can imagine too."

It all hurt so I went back upstairs and pretended to sleep. When she got back, she quietly slipped into bed, and I heard her silently cry.

For the past few days, I've heard her silently cry. She keeps this happy wife actup when she's in front of me, telling me she loves me.

We always had a healthy relationship- in fact, she's MY FIRST LOVE! We've been married 22 years and had just the most blissful marriage.

But now I can't see her the same knowing she doesn't think she can fully love me and she still thinks about a guy from her past."

So yeah, you'll always be in my heart, but I don't want it to be like that; that it will stop me from loving someone else the way I'm supposed to.

[peanutbutterjelly-pie]

Part 2/3 of my Masterlist, a compilation of AU stories - with special mentions of “High School”, “College”, “Coffee Shop”,etc.!!

Also watch out for the other two parts:

Canon!verse/Canon Divergence

Alternate Universe: Supernatural Elements

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE:

A Single Kiss by whelvenwings

>> So did you kiss him?

Cas read Anna’s text message with a sigh, standing next to his bed in his pyjamas, only just woken up. He should never, ever have allowed his sister even the slightest of glimpses into his meagre dating life.

(Words: 4k)

A Different Kind of Fairy Tale by lemonsorbae

The best part about Castiel’s day is going to work among the books.

That is, until the mechanic walks through the door.

(Words: 6k)

A Man May Change by Hekate1308

Sam wishes he didn't hate the person his brother has become. He really does.

(Words: 7k)

All That Is Gold Does Not Glitter by aileenrose

Sam's too busy to pick up Sarah's engagement ring from the jeweler's.

Enter Dean. He minds just a little, and then not at all.

(Words: 8k)

Every Dog Has Its Day by aileenrose

Dean's new to Sioux Falls. In between meeting the mysterious Cas Novak, and helping save a puppy whose name they can't agree on, he thinks this place can become something like home.

(Words: 12k)

After Midnight by Winglesss

"How can you know you don’t like guys if you never tried to sleep with one?"

Dean can't get Sam's words out of his head so he goes and picks up a guy. It doesn't take long before he realizes how extremely lucky he was to find someone like Castiel.

(Words: 13k)

Understanding That Reference by Carrieosity

Castiel loves working in the library, except for the boring parts. When a string of complicated and entertaining questions begin to flow into his email box, courtesy of the "Ask-A-Librarian" reference service, he finds his boredom vanishing and being replaced with an increasing curiosity to learn who's behind them.

(Words: 16k)

So Glad We Made It by Annie D (scaramouche)

At twelve years old, Dean makes a friend, who becomes his best friend, who will eventually become the love of his life.

(Words: 16k)

Only You by cylobaby27

After John's death, Dean moves out to Palo Alto to be closer to Sam, who is studying at Stanford. Despite their proximity, the brothers barely have time to see each other between Sam's studying and Dean's two jobs, leaving Dean feeling tired and lonely. However, when he meets a slightly awkward and completely serious graduate student named Castiel, all of that changes.

(Words: 17k)

Sharing the Rain Dog by almaasi

When some asshole hits a dog with his car and drives off, the first two people on the scene are Dean and Castiel. Castiel's an FBI agent with a plane to catch, and he doesn't have time to take the dog to the vet. Dean's a musician, and he doesn't have the money. An agreement is reached: Dean goes, Castiel pays, and they'll exchange details and meet again to work things out. But who gets the dog? Sooner or later they're going to realise that having shared custody of one pitbull isn't ideal. She needs one home, not two. One stable, loving home...

(Words: 20k)

Once Upon A Time in a Disney Store by noxsoulmate

When Castiel Novak gets sick and loses his voice for a few days, he comes up with a clever trick to explain his lost voice to the kids in the Disney Store he works at. One little Mary Winchester, however, takes his note too serious and promptly starts a quest for his prince. Will her charming uncle be able to break the curse and be his one true love?

(Words: 23k)

Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) by kototyph

Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.

(Words: 24k)

Wide Open Spaces by bellacatbee

Dean is supposed to drive Sam across country to his new job but, driving late at night, Dean runs them off the road onto farmland and straight into the side of a barn. Dean is arrested for dangerous driving and sentenced to community service, fixing what he broke at the farm.

At first, Dean just wants to finish and get the hell out of town, but to his surprise he finds himself drawn to Castiel Novak, the farm’s owner.

Castiel is unlike anyone else Dean has ever met. Dean begins to fall for him and for the quiet country life Castiel leads.

(Words: 23k)

Life In Pink by youaresunlight

At just 33 years old, Dean Winchester is one of the most sought-after wedding planners in the city. He’s chased his dream ever since he was a kid and is now on the brink of making partner at his firm. But the wedding that’ll make or break his promotion? Is his best friend Dr. Castiel Novak’s. It’s going to be the event of the season - unlimited budget, no expense spared - and it’s the kind of task that Dean has been waiting for… except he’s hopelessly in love with Cas.

(Words: 25k)

Back the Way You Came by tellthenight

Dean Winchester knows he has a lot going right in his life–good family, friends–but he can’t seem to let go of one nagging regret. He should have left while he had the chance. Instead, he’s stuck in place wishing for someone he’ll never see again.

Cas Novak never thought he’d end up here– back in his mother’s house, taking care of her medical decisions. He planned to take care of everything as quickly as possible and get back home–until he runs into a former classmate who insists that he should go to their 10-year reunion that weekend. Cas refuses the offer until he hears that Dean Winchester will be there.

(Words: 25k)

Cars, Cats & an Idiot by Serisia

Who would’ve thought that helping your brother buy a car could change your whole life? Certainly not Dean Winchester, but that’s exactly what happens, when he accidentally makes the blue-eyed car-salesman run away.

(Words: 26k)

Your Favorite Hello by jupiter_james

Accounts Manager Dean Winchester and CPA Castiel Novak have been working at the same large company for several months, only interacting through office IM. Then a typo on an expense report leads to an unexpected phone call that results in a simmering crush on both ends of the line, despite neither knowing what the other looks like. Office romances typically never work out, especially when one of them has a slightly bad (though undeserved) reputation, and the other has a slightly bad track record with lovers. But their first face-to-face meeting at the company Christmas party makes them both willing to give it a go. Through a whirlwind romance, Dean wonders if they're moving too fast, and Castiel worries that he's opening himself up for another devastating heartbreak. Together, it turns out that sometimes good things do happen.

(Words: 28k)

The Inescapable Dean Winchester by gefhrlich

Castiel has been infatuated with Dean Winchester since he was fifteen years old. And despite the years that pass, he just can’t shake the man. Then again, he isn’t sure he wants to.

(Words: 30k)

Peanut Butter-Pumpkin Wedding Cake by Sparseparsley

Dean is a waiter in a strip club to put his kid brother through school. Castiel is dragged to the club as a part of his sister Anna's bachelorette party. Dean and Cas hit it off, but Dean thinks Cas is the one marrying Anna.

(Words: 31k)

Freebies and Oak Trees by violue

It’s just a joke. Dean adding Castiel Novak to his “Celebrity Freebie” list is just a joke. Dean has a girlfriend, and besides, it’s not like he’s ever going to meet Castiel, let alone sleep with him. Right?

(Words: 32k)

First Gentleman Wanted by youaresunlight

President of the United States Castiel Novak is popular, charismatic, and knee-deep in campaigning for a second term. He’d be the ideal candidate if it weren’t for the fact that he hasn’t dated once while in political office. With his opponent’s relentless PR team calling him incapable of emotional commitment, Castiel’s staff decides to remedy the situation by finding their boss a fake, picture-perfect boyfriend. And when Dean Winchester enters the scene, he and Cas become America’s new favorite couple, except they’ve got a whole lot of history between them and complicated feelings to resolve.

(Words: 32k)

Prosopagnosia by misseditallagain

“I could turn around right now and I wouldn’t be able to spot you out of a lineup. There is nothing remarkable about you I could identify and say: there, that is Dean.”

“So you mean I’m not just another pretty face?”

(Words: 33k)

Boys Will Be Boys by im_an_idjit

Since the age of ten, Dean Winchester has been the bane of Castiel's existence.

(Words: 37k)

Just for the Holidays by Fallen_Angel_Meg

After going through some tough times, Jess, Castiel's best friend, decides the best thing for him to do is to get away for Christmas. She secretly signs up their shared house on a home exchange website and it doesn't take long for them to get some interest. Castiel ends up trading houses with Sam Winchester, despite his hesitations to do so. So now Castiel has to spend his Christmas alone in Lawrence, Kansas. Which isn't so bad because Castiel is looking for some alone time right now, not wanting to get romantically involved with anyone. That is, until he meets Dean Winchester and things get complicated.

(Words: 42k)

Run Boy Run by DarcyDelaney

Cas likes to run. He likes that it’s something he can do alone whenever he wants, something to clear his head and decrease his anxiety. All that changes when his sister, Anna, volunteers him to be a guide for a blind runner who wants to participate in the Boston Marathon. Cas is completely, totally, 100% against this at first, but once he meets said runner, the snarky and (if Cas is being honest) ridiculously attractive Dean Winchester, he starts to have a change of heart. Maybe running with a partner won’t be so bad after all.

(Words: 42k)

Return to Sender by aileenrose

"He's going to let Cas do this thing for him--he's going to let Cas make him so fucking happy." In the first year after Dean loses his brother, Jess comes up with an idea. She wants to meet Cas Novak, the man who has Sam Winchester's heart in his chest.

(Words: 47k)

The Complete Works of Emmanuel Allen by violue

Dean Winchester, reluctant business owner, reluctant home owner, and reluctant cat owner, is striking up a very promising friendship with the author of his favorite book series.

And he has no idea.

(Words: 56k)

Strangers on a Bus by Terene

Castiel is flummoxed. This is a social situation he is not equipped to handle. What is the protocol when the stranger sitting next to you on a bus, whom you incidentally find very attractive, falls asleep with his head on your shoulder?

(Words: 60k)

Twenty First Century Blues by thepinupchemist

When John Winchester dies, Dean and Sam pack up their lives in Lawrence and make a new home in Sioux Falls. Despite a rough start, both brothers find love in unexpected places, and for once it feels like life might be going right for the Winchesters.

Then one of Sam's classmates turns up dead, and everything falls to pieces. The people of Sioux Falls start to suspect the new arrivals -- and as more bodies turn up, the suspicion only grows.

(Words: 62k)

Accidental First Date by Powerfulweak

Dean's date cancels on him at the last minute. Luckily, the stranger in the waiting area is willing to share a table with him.

(Words: 65k)

Forget-Me-Not Blues by noangelsinthegarrison

Sam and Jess are getting married and Dean couldn’t be any happier for them. Honestly, they’re kind of disgustingly perfect for each other and Dean’s pretty damn excited about staying with them the week before the wedding. He’s Sam’s best man, of course, and he doesn’t even mind that Jess has her own best man to share in all the organisational duties. The more the merrier, right?

Except Dean must have done something to epically piss off the universe because Jess’s best man just happens to be Castiel friggin’ Novak. He’s got even hotter since High School, but apparently no friendlier and if Cas wants to spend the week pretending like they’ve never met before? Fine. Two can play at that game.

(Words: 69k)

You're The Only Stranger I Need by lyndsie_l

When Castiel receives a text from a stranger, he finds himself engaging in conversations daily. He's drawn to the outgoing college student and longs to interact with the other man as often as he can. Slowly, he finds himself falling in love with the other and can't imagine ever meeting a more beautiful person.

The only problem?

He's never actually met this other man.

(Words: 70k)

Angel Cookies by noxsoulmate

“On Christmas Eve, if you eat Angel Cookies right before bed and then dream of your one true love, he will be your destiny.”

The Shurley clan sure believe their old family legend, but not Castiel James – not since he was a pudgy teenager, running down the church aisle on Christmas Day, trying to stop his very handsome and very straight teacher Dean Winchester from marrying someone else. He may be grown-up, well-toned, bestselling Young Adult’s book author “C. S. James” now, but Castiel will never forget that day. And he’ll never fall foolishly in love again, especially not for Dean Winchester.

But when the wish for a big family Christmas from his sick father brings him back home, Castiel has to confront his past. And not only that: a letter from a little fan from his home town is weighing heavy on his conscience. Reaching out to a troubled kid might endanger his secret identity. Adding to the problem is the shock of discovering that Dean is the little girl’s father – unattached and hotter than ever. Dean’s smile still makes Castiel melt, but Castiel knows that ship has sailed. The fact that Dean seems to be on board this time, however, doesn’t make it any easier for him.

(Words: 74k)

Never Not Fantastic by thestoryinsideme

When television star Dean Winchester makes a stop at the Rogue Wave Cafe, owner Castiel Novak initially takes notice - and exception to - the celebrity's presence in the all-but-forgotten beachside town where the age of the average resident is sixty-five.

(Words: 76k)

Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche)

Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.

(Words: 78k)

Win A Date With Dean Winchester by FollowingButterflies

When Hollywood actor Dean Winchester gets caught up in a scandal that could threaten his career if exposed by the press his agent draws up a deal with the press. They won't expose the story if they can run a competition offering a date with Dean as the prize. Everything is fine until Dean meets the winner, Anna Milton, and her brother Castiel who Dean can't seem to stop staring at or thinking about despite the fact that Castiel clearly thinks Dean is a talentless moron.

(Words: 80k)

The Unwavering Heart of a Winchester by violue

There’s no point in mincing words. Sam is dead, and without him Dean is a drunken shell of who he used to be. When he finally pulls himself out of a growing pile of whiskey bottles, Dean finds it hard to go back to his life. With one flippant comment from a friend, Dean thinks he might finally have a way to make peace with the loss; Sam was an organ donor, and Dean’s going to find the recipients, talk to them, and see how their lives are better because of his little brother. For the first six stops on his road trip, things go mostly according to plan, and then he meets the man who has Sam’s heart. Dean had hoped he might find peace on this trip… he never expected to find love.

(Words: 87k)

The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through Chlamydia by violue

Dean doesn't expect to see his one night stand again, but then again he also doesn't expect to find out he has an STD. Sometimes life is hilarious like that.

(Words: 89k)

Imperfect Proposals by Fallen_Angel_Meg

Dean Winchester has a dream of being a successful architect- one that may or may not be out of his reach. So when he receives a promising job at Designs of Divinity, a reputable architectural firm, he is beyond happy. It's everything he could ask for. Sure, he may only be the assistant of Castiel Novak, a well known architect and project manager, but he doesn't even care. It's a start. It isn't until he starts working for Castiel that he realizes the guy isn't exactly who he thought he'd be, and his dream job turns into a living hell. Dean decides he's had enough when Castiel denies him time off to attend his brother's wedding. But just when Dean thinks it can't get any worse, he finds out that he's being forced to marry Castiel to keep him from being deported. Fan-friggin'-tastic.

(Words: 111k)

Clean Air by anactoria

Centuries after the surface of the earth was devastated by an unknown disaster, the remnants of humanity live in a series of vast underground silos, each unaware of the existence of the others.

For the inhabitants of Silo 34, the silo is the world, and the only world they know. Questions about the outside world are forbidden, and asking them is what got Dean Winchester's parents killed. He isn't even sure himself that they weren't crazy.

That all changes when he hears a voice on the radio -- a voice from another world.

(Words: 122k)

*  *  *  *

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: HIGH SCHOOL

Blackboard Painting in the Dead of Night by whelvenwings

Cas thinks that the school's latest idea of getting students to write their thoughts on a huge, public blackboard is... well, black-boring, until someone replies to his angry scribbling. Several bad puns and some Kant quotations later, Cas may finally meet the mysterious messenger who anonymously turned his life upside-down.

(Words: 4k)

Sometimes It Works Out by messtiels

Castiel Novak is your average teenager, with the exception of being casually brilliant. His longtime crush, Dean Winchester, is the attractive, charismatic, and overall popular guy in high school. As unexpected situations arise, Castiel is faced with the challenge of overcoming his self-doubt, and at the same time he is completely clueless.

(Words: 9k)

flour in your hair by cassiewrites

Dean and Cas are paired up for a project in Home Ec in which they have to take care of a "flour baby" for a week.

(Words: 10k)

It's Always the End of the World Somewhere by Annie D (scaramouche)

The status quo is this: Dean is the popular captain of the football team, and Castiel is the off-kilter nobody who doesn't so much as breathe the same air as Dean. Then senior year happens and the status quo is shot to smithereens.

(Words: 21k)

In This Secluded Spot I Respond As I Wouldn't Dare Elsewhere by RhymePhile

It's 1995, and Castiel's high school years are destined to be difficult: home-schooled until eighth grade, he is awkward, shy, and socially inept. The weird kid with the funny name would rather isolate himself and draw in his sketchbook than deal with the constant bullying he faces every day. Things only get worse in his junior year when he excels in home economics class, leading the captain of the baseball team, Alastair, to start taunting him for being gay.

Then new student Dean Winchester arrives at Flour Bluff High School, sharing many of Castiel's classes. Castiel has seen his type before -- handsome, athletic, arrogant, and sure to be the most popular kid in school. But Castiel eventually learns that he and Dean have more in common than he thought, and they form an unlikely friendship.

(Words: 34k)

Count On Me by swoopswoop

Castiel Novak is an unpopular kid at school, his brother’s reputation the only thing keeping him from a regular beating, but not the occasional shove. When one other person in the school helps him out, it inadvertently starts a marathon game of IOU.

(Words: 41k)

Exalted in the scene by zation

John decides that his boys needs some goddamn education and makes them settle down in a small town while he keeps on hunting. Dean is reluctant at first but then he meets school punching bag Castiel Novak and suddenly things are starting to look up.

Or,

The one where Dean tries desperately to save the one damsel in distress who turns out to be more than reluctant at the prospect of being saved.

(Words: 50k)

Look Right Through Me by darkforetold

It’s his senior year in high school and Dean cares about little else than what makes him feel good. When an unexpected tragedy strikes his family, it shatters his world. Heartache tears at him while guilt worms through the wounds—and only a second chance can set him on the road toward healing. As his world reshapes, Dean rediscovers the importance of family, transcends loss and chooses something he never expected to find: love.

(Words: 53k)

Suburban War by squeemonster

Moving to Lawrence with his family is the most significant event of Dean Winchester's life. It brings a stability he's never known, and the only thing to have more of a profound impact on him is Castiel Novak: the two boys become fast friends the day they meet. But as Dean grows older, he dreams for something beyond the monotony and constraints of suburbia, and he is haunted by the inexplicable feeling that he was born for something more than what this life offers. As he struggles to reconcile the person he yearns to be with what his family and friends expect of him, a fateful choice exposes just how fragile his life in the suburbs is, and possibly risks losing the best friend he's ever had.

(Words: 105k)

*  *  *  *

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: COLLEGE

Perfect Imperfections by youaresunlight

Castiel Novak is a graduate student teaching Intro to Calculus. He’s hard-working and awkward and shy, tends to avoid the gossip among his students, though he can’t help but pay attention when they bring up the assistant coach of the rugby team.

(Words: 3k)

Please Leave a Message by StarlightDragon

During his first semester of college, Dean Winchester slowly falls for a guy he’s never seen and never met, through a series of messages exchanged between the two of them on the whiteboard pinned to Castiel’s dorm room door.

(Words: 12k)

The Graveyard by amarillogrande

“Okay, look. You finish it, then you stick it up on top of the shelves. And then…well, the bottle is there to remind you. Hence the name—“ Dean spreads his arms, indicating the endless rows of glass. “The graveyard.”

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are best friends, living together for the past two years and about to graduate in the spring. It might take a visit from Dean's little brother to get them to realize just exactly how they feel about each other.

(Words: 19k)

TutorMate by faeryn

Sam leaves Dean's laptop logged in to some app called "TutorMate" and Dean meets his brother's tutor. Cas helps him with his own work and they strike up a friendship. Before long Dean finds himself growing attached to the cute, clever Cas and flirtatiously suggests they go on a date if he applies himself to his college work. Cas agrees, but Dean discovers his online friend is not quite what he expected.

(Or, in which Dean thinks he's met a cute girl and finds out he's actually met a cute boy.)

(Words: 21k)

Inevitable Homoeroticism in Spanish Romantic Heroes by prosopopeya

Dean is a grad student studying for his MA in Spanish literature, and he’s pretty content with his sexuality as it is -- that is, fairly undefined and also secret. His attraction to Castiel, a professor to the undergrads, doesn't seem like a big deal until it becomes a very big deal, and Dean scrambles to keep his head above water.

(Words: 42k)

Your Call Cannot Be Completed As Dialed by eBob, K_K_TiBal

AU in which Castiel accidentally sends a text message to the wrong number and befriends the person at the other end of the line. However, accidents don’t just happen accidentally, and sometimes two completely different people are exactly what the other needs.

(Words: 65k)

Free to Be You and Me by same_space

Coffee Shop!AU and University!AU rolled into one. Castiel Novak is the introverted English Literature major at the University of Kansas. Dean Winchester is the elusive cool guy who happens to work in Castiel's favourite coffee shop. This is how they meet, and this is how Anna and Crowley play cupid.

(Words: 70k)

All the Way by cadignan, Guu

Castiel spends the first two weeks of college in much the same way he spent the previous years: alone with his books. He’s fine with it—he enrolled in college to learn, after all. Then in his first chemistry lab, he has the bad luck of being paired with snide, good-for-nothing Ruby, and the further misfortune of sitting behind Dean Winchester, the world’s most beautiful distraction. Ruby catches Castiel staring at Dean and makes him an offer.

(Words: 81k)

Hear You Me by through_shadows_falling

Castiel is a college graduate stuck in two dead-end, part-time jobs. Oh, and he's Deaf...which to his oldest brother Michael makes him something to constantly fret over. It's not Castiel's fault that he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, right? Not like it's Michael's business anyways.

Enter Dean Winchester. A chance encounter with the man has the power to change Castiel's life - and in the end, maybe, just maybe, it will help him finally understand and accept who he is and what he's meant to do.

(Words: 84k)

*  *  *  * 

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: TEACHER

What is Love? by regardinglove

When Dean’s students ask him about what it means to be in love, he gets quite the awakening about his own feelings for a certain blue-eyed teacher.

(Words: 2k)

Chili Peppers by justanothersong

Dr. Winchester hears an off hand comment from one of his students and find himself browsing a website dedicated to rating university professors. He's not surprised by his rating -- but is a little miffed to see the department chair has an even better one. Clearly, something needs to be done about this.

(Words: 13k)

Before I Can Breathe Easy by ShastaFirecracker

Castiel Novak, anthropology professor and recent divorcee; a half-drunk hookup with the bartender from his brother's bachelor party; cue the morning after, with full attendant nudity, awkwardness, walking into doors, and running into one of his students at the worst possible time.

(Words: 14k)

Learning Curve by mtothedestiel

Dean is a pre-school teacher and Castiel Novak is his new student's intriguing guardian. They both know the sacrifices that come with caring for others, but, over time, they learn what it means to want something for themselves.

(Words: 38k)

Try-Something Tuesday by almaasi

Human AU. Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not?

Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

(Words: 48k)

Easy Now, With My Heart by casfallsinlove

Dean Winchester is a kindergarten teacher. Castiel Milton is a writer slash works-in-a-coffee-shop. He also happens to be the extremely hot one-night stand that Dean never intended to see again other than in his own fantasies (he’s classy like that). But suddenly Cas is everywhere and Dean is convinced that Fate is out to get him. And maybe they do this thing backwards, but that doesn’t have to mean they can’t make it in the end, right?

(Words: 50k)

Crossroads State by Mercy

Castiel has a nice predictable structured life teaching high school, even if he happens to be overqualified for it. Then this guy moves in around the corner and literally knocks him on his ass.

(Words: 51k)

Like Real People by charvelle

Dean Winchester is a respected literature teacher at Lawrence's best private school, yet he feels like he's still a complete and utter travesty of a human being. Months after his father's death, he's yet to come to terms with the negative impact John Winchester had on his life. Though he's determined never to admit it, the only thing Dean's ever wanted was an Apple Pie Life: it's something that's been dangled in front of his face, though he's certain he could never deserve it.

While Dean struggles to come to terms with the isolated, lonely life he's made for himself, a disruption comes in the form of Castiel Novak, Lawrence Private's newest faculty member. Those blue eyes and raspy voice are things Dean can't ignore for long, and when he's forced to stop fighting his affections, Dean finds his lonely life turned upside down.

Is it possible he could deserve an Apple Pie Life after all?

(Words: 135k)

*  *  *  *

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: DOCTOR/NURSE

Recovery In Room 233 by eshcaine

Sam is in the hospital and a bored fidgety Dean means trouble for the nursing staff. Luckily, Balthazar has something that will keep Dean occupied.....

(Words: 11k)

Nothing to Moan About by Hippivickyx

Doctors Dean and Castiel don't get along, before tragedy forces mostly Castiel to reevaluate.

(Words: 12k)

Chasing Life by zerostumbleine33

Castiel is the perfusionist on call when a young college kid, Sam Winchester, is brought in with Acute Respiratory Distress and needs to be put on an emergent life support machine called ECMO. His brother Dean is there with him every day, and along the way he forms a surprising bond with Castiel.

Afraid of hospital rules and his own self doubts, Castiel keeps their relationship strictly in the friendship area, wary of losing his job as he falls hard for a patient’s family member, that he is pretty sure isn’t into men anyway. Either way, it’s against the rules and he’s not about to break them.

(Words: 18k)

It's Only Love We're Falling In by zeppx

Human AU. Castiel is a nurse. Dean isn’t a very pleasant person. Castiel and Dean don’t get along at first, then, naturally, like in most romantic comedies, things happen. Like unwillingly falling in love.

(Words: 19k)

Dean Goes to the Doctor by thatwriterlady

When Dean wakes up one morning feeling like he swallowed razor blades and his skin is on fire he figures he'd deal with it, but when he coughs up blood he makes the reluctant decision to head in to see his doctor, except his doctor has retired. The new doctor that has taken over his practice is the one and only Castiel Novak, and Dean finds the new doctor more interesting than he wants to, and somehow this doctor gets Dean to come in again. Shortly after meeting the new doctor he gets injured on the job and lands himself in the hospital in need of surgery. The handsome doctor comes to see him and sweet fluffiness ensues.

(Words: 21k)

The City Doctor by palominopup

Dr. Dean Winchester is on his way from LA to New York to start a new practice. He drives through a small town in Kansas and causes a traffic accident. The town sheriff serves him a citation and he has to appear in traffic court. The judge sentences him to six weeks of community service – helping the town’s elderly doctor. Culture shock ensues. Enter, Cas Novak, the town’s large animal vet.

(Words: 36k)

Preacher Comfort by almaasi

Dean Winchester works as a nurse at an after-hours medical clinic. He's a champion at what he does, but for him, professionalism has its pitfalls: good-looking patients make him flustered. Luckily, his fly-by-night infatuation evaporates within minutes, since most patients only swing by once. Castiel (fondly known as Bee Sting Guy around the clinic) is one of those iniquitously handsome fellows – and he keeps coming back. He's also a Catholic priest, 94% asexual, and in need of the tender love that happens to be Dean's speciality.

(Words: 43k)

What I Need by Jacqueline Albright-Beckett (xaandria)

A joking phrase commonly heard between a surgeon and his tech is "Give me what I need, not what I ask for." Dr. Novak and his tech Dean will soon learn the impact this phrase has on life outside the operating room.

(Words: 47k)

Your Very Own Doctor Sexy by words_reign_here

It's an easy and average life for Dean Winchester. He worked hard, helped Sam and Ruby through law school while helping Bobby expand his garage. There isn't much to want until a car crash changes Dean down to the very core of who he thought he was. Working closely with the Novak brothers, all doctors, changes his life in a way he can't account for.

(Words: 51k)

Vital Signs by emmy_award, hubrisandwax

The nurse grinned again and it did something odd to Castiel’s stomach. Too many Lucky Charms, he rationalized. Lucky Charms and pain meds don’t mix.

“I’m Dean. And I’ll be your nurse this evenin’.”

(Words: 67k)

Any Little Heartbreak by followthattardis

Dean Winchester knows everything there is to know about the human heart.

Well.

Anatomically speaking.

(Words: 77k)

Carried Away by charmedcas

Living in New York City, Dean Winchester's life consists of working as a pediatric nurse, leaving little room for free time. His best friend and roommate, Castiel Novak, happens to be a surgical resident at the same hospital that Dean works at. Even though they see a lot of each other, the two of them have learned to coexist with ease.

When the annual fundraising gala becomes the talk of the hospital, it only makes sense for both of them to pretend they're together to kill two birds with one stone. The gossip about them finally stops, and no one tries to set them up with a date for the gala. It's easy enough for Dean and Castiel to act like a couple at first. However, they each end up getting more than they signed up for as the line dividing what's fake and what's real between them blurs.

(Words: 82k)

Lead By Your Beating Heart by FollowingButterflies

After a night of celebrating (heavy drinking) with his brother surgical intern Dean Winchester discovers that his resident, talented Cardio surgeon Castiel Novak, is...well a huge douche bag...kind of hot but still a huge douche bag. A douche bag that he's stuck with for the rest of the year, that's if he survives the year without Castiel killing him and making it look like an accident. So why is it that an easy friendship forms between the two men that swiftly becomes something Dean never expected to find when he moved to Chicago.

(Words: 113k)

*  *  *  *

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: POLICE/FIREFIGHTER

Keep Calm by NuwandaSnicket

When Castiel's cat escapes up a tree, he has no choice but to call the fire department. Unfortunately for him, they send the sexiest fireman they have. Or is it fortunately?

(Words: 3k)

Burning Up for You, Baby by you_idjits

The Kansas City Police Department has always had a friendly rivalry with the Kansas City Fire Department, sure, but Castiel Novak has never been friendly. No, Castiel Novak is The Enemy.

“He has to be stopped,” Dean says, “and I have to be the one to do it.”

Or, the one where Dean is a policeman and Cas is a firefighter, and they get into a dangerous prank war.

(Words: 5k)

Follow You by youaresunlight

Detectives Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are assigned to a stakeout that’ll confine them to a hotel room for ninety-six hours. And as if it isn’t hard enough being cooped up together that long, Dean has to be head over heels for Cas and can’t stop thinking about kissing him.

(Words: 5k)

Muted Angels by geckoholic

There's nothing worse than a case involving dead kids, at least in the book of Detective Dean Winchester. It's just his luck that his partner is the lieutenant's favorite, and she chooses to give them the high-profile murder case of a dead girl from the suburbs. More deaths follow, and the two of them get sucked into the world of religious cults and ritualistic murders. In the face of that, Dean's feelings for aforementioned partner are the least of his problems.

(Words: 14k)

Secondhand Angel by cylobaby27

Castiel Novak owns a small used bookstore in Lawrence, Kansas. He is content with the peace and quiet of his current life, and can't imagine allowing anything to change that. Then Dean Winchester enters his shop.

(Words: 24k)

At First Sight by MayaAodhan

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Blinded in the line of duty as a decorated police officer, Castiel Novak now teaches classes at Washington State University as an Associate Professor.

Detective Dean Winchester comes to find Castiel to tell him that a violent criminal he once arrested is now getting out on parole. Instantly attracted to Castiel, Dean finds himself in a difficult position when he must protect the very man he is falling in love with.

(Words: 24k)

Bratishka: Little Brother by Valinde (Valyria)

Dean thinks he knows pretty much everything there is to know about his best friend Castiel Novak - he's a smart, gorgeous DA who probably lets Dean get away with more than he should to see the bad guy locked up - but it turns out Cas is hiding some dark family secrets.

(Words: 33k)

Show Me Your Badge, And I'll Show You My Gun by avidffreader

Dean had become an officer at Lawrence KS Police Department, with kid brother Sam as a lawyer at the federal level. The motto on criminals was simple: Dean takes them out, Sam puts them away.

Not even the addition of a socially awkward blue-eyed evidence technician puts a dent in Dean's system. It all works fine and dandy, until the Morning Star Corporation starts trouble.

(Words: 60k)

*  *  *  *

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: KIDS

When Life Takes An Unexpected Turn by thatwriterlady

Dean is a single dad to three year old Ava and it's them against the world. Dean hasn't had much success in relationships as people aren't thrilled by the fact that he has a child. When he enrolls Ava in a toddler ballet class at the suggestion of Charlie he finds someone that just might be answers to his prayers.

(Words: 14k)

To Find a Family by linasane

When Dean's little brother gets taken away, he's expecting the fight that ensues. He's expecting the stress that comes from separation, expecting to do all he can to get Sammy back from whatever awful foster family he's been placed with. He's not expecting Castiel Novak.

(Castiel, in turn, isn't expecting his first foster child - five years old and angry - to be the one that leads him to the family he's always wanted, but life has a funny way of working itself out).

(Words: 26k)

In Three Days: A Memoir by Castiel Shurley by glassclosetcastiel

Family and parenting advice writer Castiel Shurley is on the verge of syndication with his weekly column, Fix My Family. The problem? His husband is dead and he can barely handle their three daughters alone.

When the four take a trip to Castiel’s childhood home in Rhode Island to spend a long weekend with the entire Shurley family, Castiel meets an intriguing, incredible man who could change everything. But when Castiel finds out who Dean really is, the family drama just gets worse.

The only way to overcome will be for Castiel to own up to his mistakes and take his own advice- listen to his daughters- and admit that maybe it is possible to fall in love in just three days.

(Words: 33k)

Daddy Needs a Date by caswinchesterbaby

Castiel Novak loves his daughter, Grace, with all his heart. When their dark past threatens to catch up with them, the pair is forced to make an escape from Boston and move to rural Lawrence, Kansas. Grace is enrolled in Mr. Dean Winchester’s second grade class, and things go smoothly. But are there surprises ahead of them? Can Cas keep his small family together? He sure hopes so.

(Words: 85k)

Say Something by JhanaMay

No matter how difficult he can be, Dean loves his son. Raising him alone after his mother died hasn't been easy, but with the support of his family and friends, Dean has made it work. Now that Ben is starting kindergarten, Dean hopes that he can finally relax a little, but the challenges Ben faces at school make Dean realize that their struggles are just beginning. When Ben is assigned a new support teacher, Dean finds that Ben isn't the only Winchester who has a problem dealing with change.

(Words: 250k)

*  *  *  *

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: COFFEE SHOP/BAKERY

Afternoon Delights by snarkymonkey

Castiel has just moved to Lawrence, Kansas and the nearby café has the strangest sign out front.

(Words: 2k)

Benny Doesn't Partake In Audience Participation by Niitza

In which Benny owns a coffee shop and has a pie addict as well as a weirdo in a trench-coat among his regulars.

(Words: 2k)

Coffee & Donuts by betts

“It’s not competition, Sam. That place sells overpriced coffee and tea, and calls it something fancy to justify the price. And they probably serve shitty, gluten-free, vegan-happy pastries that taste like sod, too. We sell doughnuts. That’s all there is to it.”

But that wasn’t all there was to it.

***

Wherein Dean and Sam Winchester inherit their father's donut shop, some tattooed hipster named Cas opens up a coffee joint across the street, and chaos ensues in the form of too many pastry-related puns.

(Words: 10k)

I Like You (Like Me) by Carmexgirl

Dean’s the owner of his own pretty successful coffee shop, and he’s absolutely, totally not in love with the hot accountant guy who comes in every day. He’s way out of his league. Isn’t he?

(Words: 11k)

Sweet Tooth by DarcyDelaney

Dean had just expected to tag along to Sam and Jess’ cake tasting for their wedding and get free food. That’s it. The last thing that he’d been prepared for was to meet a ridiculously attractive blue-eyed baker with messy hair and rusty people skills who he’d almost immediately start falling for, but sometimes those things just happen.

(Words: 14k)

Pie in the Sky by PrinceMalice

Pie is more than something sweet. Pie is home.

(Words: 14k)

Cooking with Gas by WinJennster

Castiel Novak has it all. He's rich, famous, has a top rated cooking show and restaurant, drives an expensive car and wears Armani.

His producer throws a contest to spend a day with Chef Novak, cooking and learning techniques. Castiel wants no part of it, but Balthazar insists and Castiel will do as expected.

What Castiel wasn't expecting was to fall head over heels for the winner.

Dean Winchester hasn't had a successful relationship in his 34 years on Earth. He's got a past he'd like to keep hidden, and his life rotates around his family and his business.

Winning a contest to spend a day with his favorite TV chef is a shock, but a welcome diversion from his day to day life...until he meets the guy, and he turns out to be a big jerk. Dean figures he should have expected that.

What he wasn't expecting was that same gorgeous blue-eyed man to sweep in and shake up his entire world.

(Words: 89k)

A Little Slice Of Heaven by onamelancholyhill

Jim Morrison once said, “The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are.” That was Castiel Novak’s motto in life, and the reason why he accepted his grandmother's inheritance and took the responsibility it implied.

Dean Winchester, a remarkable accountant at Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc., however, had other priorities. He lived to serve, hidden in a mask that didn’t allow him to be honest with himself, but lonesome and boring.

When destiny made their paths cross, in a less than promising way, with Dean as the instigator and Castiel as his victim, Dean’s mind started wandering, in between pies and cakes, coffees and muffins... What if Mr. Morrison was right?

After all, as the guy used to say, "there can’t be any large-scale revolution, until there’s a personal revolution first."

(Words: 112k)

Kiss the Baker by Ltleflrt

Jo is pregnant and craving something a little bit unusual. When she sends Dean on a mission to find her some chocolate cake donuts with bacon sprinkles, he's sure that he'll fail. Luckily his partner Benny comes to his rescue and introduces him to a quirky little bakery that sells all kinds of weird (and delicious!) baked goods. And they do special orders!

Dean finds excuses to keep going back, and Castiel finds excuses to keep giving him special treats.

(Words: 113k)

[zyx]

fav mutuals and why? let's spread some love 💓

i had this in my inbox for so f long, im sorry :/ also i wanted to say that its a cliche but i love all my mutuals lmao i mostly added ppl who ive known for a longer period of time ?… anyway sorry again for replying like 2 months later oops!

@jjngwoo ; i think lucy is the person ive known on here for the longest time, i can’t even remember how long its been… like 8 years skjdkjf and i love her a fucking lot. we sometimes spend a lot of time w/o talking but when we talk again its like time never passed. i hope that at this point she knows how much i love her and how much i care about her. she’s super sweet, and nice and funny and i love having her in my life :(

@thatsummerain ; anna is like… the only person who know me best? like she knows a lot of things that i’ve never said to anyone else and we dont talk a lot lately which its so f*kin sad but she has always been there for me, has listened to me when i needed and she..just has been an amazing friend to me. i wish i could be a better friend for her, but i guess sometimes i just focus too much in my own problems and im a mess so i feel like im not a good friend. but i love her so much and i hope she hasnt forgetten and uh yeah :(

@louiswmalik ; please ash is like… my long time crush lmfao i dont remember who followed who first but she has always been like a zouie queen so i kinda admired her from afar and i was happy she was following me and that she actually liked me ajksjkf cos she’s so cool and idk, im glad she re-followed me when she knew my new identity lmaoooo and just. im happy we’re still in contact and that im able to see her pretty face every now and then !

@nellyhoran ; rita can suck my ass for all i care?????? but akjsjkf honestly i hate her sometimes but she’s like. i love being friends with her even tho we dont agree in a lot of stuff. we’re mostly always saying dumb stuff when we talk lol but when we have like deep conversations its like….. interesting LOL. we have a lot of memories and yes, im gonna mention that one time we were drunk off of our asses and did a lot of stupid AND embarrassing things…….god. she’s super funny and always make me laugh and always make me want to block her but we left that behind just like we did with [redacted]. mi ratmommy …luv u

@blazinginbus1 ; honestly i dont know anyone thats as nice and sweet as emily. ive told her this a lot of times but idk what i did to deserve someone like her in my life. she’s always encouraging me, and telling me nice things when im feeling down and whether or not i believe her its nice to know someone cares and that i have someone out there i can always talk to. we havent talked much but the times we actually did been nice. em is funny, caring, and such a positive person that everyone deserves to have in their lives. im glad i met her and i love her a lot!!!!!! 

@birdmen​ ; kjskjsf pls we have like the most iconic relationship. i think we never talked when we were both into 1d, it was until we both were free from them that we started talking abt how we dont like henry ajksjkf also e sent me one video that changed my life forever and thats basically what tied us akjsjkf i liked how it never was awks to talk to her, and how until now we can message each other about literally anything and itll be like we’ve been talking every day. they’re really easy going and thats what i like the most about them!!!!! im glad we’re still friends and uhhh ilu e :(

@magnusgoatee ; jo!!!!! she has always been so nice with me since day 1! we’ve talked a few times when we were both zouies lol and its so nice to be still mutuals with her cuz i love her so much and i love seeing her on my dash!!!! also i love having jo as a friend on fb ajksjf i wish we can be mutuals till one of us deletes lmao 

@myloxylcto​ ; i??????? love rehab like we havent talked in so long and i dont even know if she still likes me even a bit lmfao but she has been one of my faves ever and :((((( i love telling her how pretty she is cuz its true… also as far as i remember shes still my gf so… :) i got di most preddie girl ! shes so funny and shes just…. iconic, a queen, id die for her

@dokyungsu​ ; UHHHHHHH what can i say abt ren…… she’s like super nice akjskjf and idk i love how we just kind of started interacting and then she just became my babygurl~ and she’s always so nice with me????? like telling me cute things and i love her a lot, i wanna get to know her more tho. college can choke cuz its taking her away from me…….. 

i love everyone who ive ever interacted even if it was just once….. but…..yeah akhskjsf

[notnctu]

I heard you stole something from me and I hope you can give it back....

.

.

.

My heart....

Yeah, quarantine really messed up with our system. I'm really lucky cause I can still go out (for practice) and at least got some sunshine and fresh air.

And yeah, they changed their music style to fit more with western but its sad cause I don't really like western music (except from Rue, do you ever heard of her?) but I'm glad they're still succeed. Yugi are both sweetheart (why did I read yuqi😭😭) I wonder sometimes if they're my brothers, it must be fun and annoying at the same time 😂😂 Chan is also a cute lil bun, I love how he takes care of his member and all😔😭😭

And I'm just really curious....do you still have class now?? I mean, do you still study or you already working? Why won't you survive this quarter😭😭😭 and Johnny don't have to say anything but just wink and I'll melt right away... 😔😔( I have a soft spot for him....)

And about Jeno... I think he will give up.... If Jaemin use his cringey cuteness and makes him a panic gay😂😂😂 and even if he won't, I'm sure Jaemin can fight Jeno off. He may be an introvert but we introvert still have the urge to be competitive too.... Even if most of the time, we don't care. But if it so close to victory, we definitely will do anything to win😂😂😂

And a quick question, is it snowing in your place? We don't have snow here and I'm really curious. I wanna see snow but yeah we don't have snow😔😔 (and I'm running out of pick up lines😂😂)

-flirty anon

i am not giving u back ur heart <3 it is mine now heheh <3 

i have not heard of rue ): what other music do you listen to then? 

yes i do! i just started school again, im in my second to last year of college! i wont survive because my classes are during the day and i have responsibilities that need to be fulfilled but since im not awake for long enough, they dont get finished lolwkjskhdfbg are you in school?

HASGDFHA NOOO NOT NOMIN GAY PANIC HAHAHAHAHA what a cheater jaemin lol its okay, he’s using his strengths in a different way ... ill let it pass 

NO IT DOESNT SNOW IN CALIFORNIA AND IT SUCKS LKSKJDHF i have doyoung bubble and he sent the CUTEST video of himself playing in the snow and i wanted to cry because it looked so beautiful and ahhh i wish i could see the snow too! LOLOL its okay flirty anon, you don’t have to spend me a pick up line every time :) just when u think of one! 

[windsweptlassie]

i was tagged by both @frogyell and @not-your-fancy-butler ily both and i’m so glad i got to see you recently!

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: water babey!

2. last phone call: my dad, but technically the apple store man accidentally face timing my mom three (3) consecutive times with my broken ass phone

3. last text message: me telling my friend to eat food, although technically last outgoing message (not text) was me telling @not-your-fancy-butler​ to tell me about modern Pierre

4. last song you listened to: Pierre from Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

5. time you cried: fuck man idk i was probably stressed or something

6. dated someone twice? as if

7. kissed someone and regretted it? only a little

8. been cheated on? nope!

9. lost someone special? of course

10. been depressed? fucke yeah

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? nope and i don’t plan to

fave colors

12. white

13. shades of gold

14. blue/red/pink

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? sure have!

16. fallen out of love? yes indeed!

17. laughed until you cried? of course!

18. found out someone was talking about you? yes and it was a bitch of a situation

19. met someone who changed you? sure have!

20. found out who your friends are? Oh Yes Bitch

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? i don’t have Facebook dkjdfskljfslkd which makes me either a baby or ninety years old

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? i don’t have Facebook (clapping hands emoji) !!!!!!

23. do you have any pets? yea i got my kitty

24. do you want to change your name? no!

25. what did you do for your last birthday? uh paddle boarded on the ocean with two of my Best Friends Ever @starcallerstag​ and @vernalpool​ and then went home to spend time with my family, it was pretty nice

26. what time did you wake up today? 6:20 ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? sleepin I'm a boring bitch

28. what is something you cant wait for? I wanna go to college

30. what are you listening to right now? sad angsty indie music and Great Comet

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yea i got a bunch in my family

32. something thats getting on your nerves? right now? idk that i’m avoiding my work

33. most visited website: oh i don’t know email? tumblr?

34. hair color: brown

35. long or short hair: long buddy

36. do you have a crush on someone: not really it’s not super a priority right now

37. what do you like about yourself: i like my talent n creativity n i think i look nice n i’m pretty strong (really though, i’m convinced that being able to Lift Weights makes one soooo cocky, since i started learning weightlifting/kickboxing i’m all “i could kick ANYONE’S ass and look so good doing it”)

38. want any piercings? sorta

39. blood type: i have no fucking clue

40. nicknames: any variation of my name and whatever stupid shit my friends come up with on a daily basis (ily)

41. relationship status: single and coolin

42. zodiac: Leo

43. pronouns: she/her babey

44. fave tv shows: Idk anymore, brooklyn nine-nine? parks and rec? war and peace? game of thrones? star trek tos? i haven’t watched much tv lately

45. tattoos: want

46. right or left handed: left!

47. ever had surgery: i mean tooth surgery yes

48. piercings: none!

49. sport: field hockey, sorta fencing, kickboxing aka punching the shit out of other people, sailing, weightlifting

50. vacation: definitely need

51. trainers: i don’t know what this means? does it mean shoes? I have shoes...

more general

52. eating: i had a cookie a few minutes ago

53. drinking: water 2 hydrate my soul

54. im about to watch: probably war and peace again

55. waiting for: my fucking motivation

56. want: 2 be happy

57. get married: want to someday like probably in 10+ years

58. career: whatever makes me happy when i get there

59. hugs or kisses: hugs but i also haven’t been kissed in five million years so idk

60. lips or eyes: def nice eyes

61. shorter or taller: i couldn’t care less, whichever!

62. older or younger: my own fucking age please

63. nice arms or stomach: ...both

64. hookup or relationship: relationship but like...i’d be sort of down to TRY a hookup? idk

65. troublemaker or hesitant: usually hesitant but sometimes

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: definitely not

67. drank hard liquor: i had champagne once and i hated it and i don’t even know if that’s a hard liquor, which tells you how much i know about alcohol 

68. lost glasses: of course

69. turned someone down: yeah

70. sex on first date: yikes man

71. broken someones heart: probably but i hope i haven’t

72. had your heart broken: yeah definitely but i’ve also broken my own heart  (HA)

73. been arrested: nope!

74. cried when someone died: of course

75. fallen for a friend: every single day (although in all seriousness, i’ve fallen for a Lot of my friends whoops)

do you believe in

76. yourself: yea!

77. miracles: yes actually! why not imo

78. love at first sight: i honestly don’t know but proooobably not

79. santa claus: when i was little sure!

80. kiss on a first date: yeah why not

81. angels: yeah sure!

other

82. best friend’s name: i don’t pick favorites i love you all

83. eye colour: brown!! it’s pretty i think

84. fave movie: idk, the empire strikes back, master and commander, some lord of the rings movie

85. fave actor: i don’t know really? it changes

uuuuuuhhhhhh idk who to tag if you see this consider yourself tagged

peace

[milkshake5sos]

FENCE BASHER-LEWIS REDMAN °ONE°

Hello so this fanfic is about lewis and i fucking loveee him. I have many social medias so check my account and follow them. Also i would love some feedback so leave a comment or a vote or just message me. Love katie xx Word count: 1.6k I wake up to the dull sound of my alarm which wakes me up at 6:30 almost everyday. Mornings are my favorite part of the day, well the most calm part of my day, quiet, chill and relaxed. I get up and make my usual cup of tea, with milk and no sugar the way i like it. I carry the warm mug I use every morning that my room Tina got me last christmas after breaking my favorite unicorn one to the balcony of our London apartment where I sit and watch the rest of the summer sunrise. The traffic of london starting to get busier all the yells of people calling cab, businessmen talking in the phone about their next meetings,car horns and engines stopping and starting. All the famous building, skyscrapers and the blocks of apartment or offices that makes up the city start to wake up and get populated with the workers. I sit on the outdoor chairs that we got at the beginning of summer watching time fly past and sip on my tea before deciding that it's time to get ready for work. Don't get me wrong I love my job but it's very busy and there is a lot of decision making that puts people's lives in my hands. The life breaking decisions that i have to make everyday give me the adrenalin and thrill to keep going and not knowing what the days going to give me. There's never a boring day working as a junior doctor in one of England's busiest hospitals. Being a part of saving people's lives for 2 years has been worth all the training. The people i've meet, now some of my best friends, stories of the patients and the beautiful moments of families being reunited or sometimes being brought into the world. Being full time doesn't give me much time to have a relationship or many strong friendship. I don't really know how Tina does it. Her 3 year strong relationship with her boyfriend Brad it truly something I would love to share with someone I love one day. It's the little things he does like bring her a new bunch of flowers every 2 weeks. He takes her for little cute date nights every friday whether it's the cinema, a fancy meal at one of london's finest restaurants, nandos or a movie night in I wish i had someone to do that with and not have to be the third wheel on multicolored chair that doesn't fit our colour scheme but Tina insisted on us getting. I haven't had any serious relationship, except for the one I had in college but he didn't understand that him cheating on me was okay making me break up with him after my heart being shattered and focusing on my dreams. I'm glad I did as it lead me to the happy place I'm at now. Making my way to the kitchen and placing my mug inside of the sink before walking to Tinas room. Knowing the Brad didn't stay last night due to me and Tina having a girls night meaning he wasn't aloud, I walk straight in and go to the window opening the dark purple curtains letting the bright sunrays fly straight into Tina's now open eyes. “what the fuck" She groans and covers her eyes with her thick duvet. Walking around the bed with my hands on my hips I stand by the door. “I call dibs on the shower!” I shout knowing that Tina hates me going first. I always make sure I take a long time to keep her waiting and get to wake up. With this being my own special Tina alarm i run to the bathroom so she know I wasn't lying. After hearing a couple of thuds and curse words I hear the sound of heavy foot steps catching up but not quick enough and me reaching the shower before Tina has reached the door. “You had a shower first yesterday!” Tina shouts banging on the door to show her frustration. Ignoring her i strip out of my comfy floral pyjamas and turn the shower on. Stepping in I let the warm water cover my body, the pressure of the water relaxes my muscles and awakens me even more. I take out my hair band that stopped my hair getting to tangled in the night placing it round my wrist and start washing my hair.   The sweet smell of exotic fruits fill the bathroom along with the steam  fogging up the mirror that is on the wall above the mirror. I turn off the shower after washing my body and wrap a fluffy white towel around my body. Grabbing my toothbrush i start brushing my teeth and drying my body. Unlocking the door I  stand out the way knowing Tina will be waiting to run in hearing that the water had stopped. “You better not of used all the hot water” she shouts pushing me out the bathroom and closing the door. Chuckling to myself I walk to my room and close the door. Going to my draws i get out my underwear and lay it on the bed. I go to my wardrobe and get my usual work uniform. A matching top and trouser in the same shade of sky blue. It's nothing too fancy no tight fitting jeans or trendy tops. Seeming as most of the time I'm covered in blood or vomit I don't mind it. I dry my body and get into my underwear before pulling the top over my head and my trousers up my legs. I blow dry my hair and sit at my dressing table. It probably one of my favorite feature of my bedroom. Sound stupid I know it should be my bed as that's where I spend most of my time but growing up in a small room and not being able to have one it was my first investment. I love my make up having a space to put it and play with it makes me love it. I grab my hairbrush and brush through my knotted hair putting it in 2 and starting to french braid it. One of the most strict rules at the hospital is that all hair has to be tied up, I mean I wouldn't want my hair to fall into someone's cut open leg and it get infected or something. I place on some mascara not bothering to do a whole contoured, smokey eye, bright lipstick perfect face for it to sweat off and make me look completely out of place like im meant to be in a club and not on a accident and emergency ward. Grabbing my watch, my work bag with my main essentials like my stethoscope, my work card, my name badge which I place around my neck, my purse, car keys, a spare change of clothes for when I get vomited on and my pager for when i'm need quickly at work. Think of it as a phone for the doctors to call each other. I walk to the living room seeing the bathroom door open meaning Tina's probably getting ready. I grab my phone and check a couple of my social media and reading some new. “you ready?” Tina asks coming to the living room dressed in the same outfit as me a brown satchel hanging off her shoulder. She has her hair in a messy bun resting at the top of her head still slightly damp. “yep" I reply realising the time and that we have 30 minutes till we have to start work. I grab my bag and take my keys out walking to the front door. I walk out Tina shutting the door and walk to the lift pressing the button calling it to our level. “I wonder what work has in store for us today i'm shattered I don't think all my brain has even woken up yet” Tina say leaving us both giggling knowing that she always makes sure she gets her sleep yet she is always tired. “when are you not tired. You literally fell asleep on my yesterday" I giggle thinking about how our night went last night with her falling asleep halfway through mean girls. “Hey! I had a long day yesterday" she gives me a slight slap on my arm as we exit the lift. “We have the same job I had a long day too"  I say walking over to my blue mini and hoping in Tina doing the same. I start the engine the radio turning on and some pop songs start playing. We make our way through the busy roads to the hospital taking the shortcuts making us get there on time. Parking in the car park we walk to small way to the hospital, not without Tina having her usual moan about them putting the car park to far away from the hospital. Finally we make it in and to the staff room where we put our bags in the lockers and add the finishing pieces to our uniform so were fully equiped. Walking out I stand for a couple of minutes and watch the scene around me. “lets see what today has in store for me” 28th september 2017

[auroraphilealis]

Heaven Scent Chapter Eight

Heaven Scent | Dan Howell rarely leaves the house unless he has too, too socially awkward to function normally around other people, and generally making his only friends through Louise, a sweet beta who took him under her wing a few years back when they were both still in college. It’s no surprise, then, that the omega has yet to find a mate, despite craving one rather a lot. It’s not until he attends Louise’s birthday party and gets accidentally-on-purpose set up with an attractive alpha named Phil Lester who smells absolutely heavenly that Dan starts to fall into a proper romance, complete with courting and scenting and the like. | Phan | Mature | A/B/O dynamics (Omegaverse fic), Fluff, Getting Together, Eventual Smut, Courting | 7,465 Words this chapter

Disclaimer: In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

Hello my friends! Ahhh, this is the final chapter of Heaven Scent, and I can’t believe it’s ended up quite as long as it appears to have :O In three weeks, I’ve managed to write 57K words, and to top it all off, this is the first chaptered fic I’ve completed on my own in at least 4 years, if not more, so… to say I’m proud of myself would be a complete and utter understatement.

Thank you to everyone whose supported this story since day one, when I first started writing it, and when I first started posting. It’s meant the world to me to have people so excited to see a story that defies the norm of what this trope usually is. Thank you as well to every person who has left a comment, or messaged me to show me their support and to tell me that this is the first time they’ve enjoyed this trope, as that is all I’ve ever wanted to do with this fic.

I’m so sad to see this ending, but all great things must come to an end, I’m afraid. I hope to eventually do a semi-sequel including some mpreg, for those who are interested, but I do start school again in 3 days, so I can’t promise when or if that sequel will appear <33 Still, maybe look out for it <33

This chapter does contain smut and sexual situations, so please read the second half in particular with caution. I promise you’ll know when it’s coming.

(Ao3) (Previous)

Chapter Eight

As promised, Phil texted Dan the entire time he was having his heat.

At first, it was silly things like “i forgot to find the rest of my underwear, im gonna have to do laundry every day now”, and “i know you told me not to forget anything but all my most important things are all in your flat :’(,” both of which made Dan laugh and his heart clench up in happiness to know that Phil’s entire life had pretty much already migrated into Dan’s flat.

After the first few hours, though, while Dan was in-between flare up’s and munching on power bars, they become more sentimental and funny, more similar to what Phil used to text Dan back at the very beginning of their relationship mixed with corny love struck texts that reflected their emotions from tonight. They were everything Dan could have ever asked for and more, and they truly made this heat the best that Dan had ever experienced.

From: Phil Lester <3

i miss you already :’( do you miss me?

From: Phil Lester <3

part of me wishes id stayed, but im glad were waiting

From: Phil Lester <3

look at this dog i saw on my facebook feed. when are we gonna adopt? :’D

From: Phil Lester <3

i found this jacket you might like and i might have already bought it, oops

From: Phil Lester <3

the new youtube red short film im editing -- we have to watch it together when its out, okay??? i think youll love it!!

From: Phil Lester <3

thinking of you :’(

The last one came with an attached photo of Phil’s face, smiling delicately at Dan like he was unsure if he should be sending it all, and yet it made Dan feel warm to the core on the second afternoon of his heat. He hadn’t realized just how badly he’d needed the picture until he was staring at it, fingers fisted around his cock while his core fluttered around nothing and slick dripped from between his legs.

Dan could feel his insides aching as he sunk his fingers back into himself and dropped the phone, flinging his head backwards on a ragged moan as he pressed in deep and gave himself everything he wanted. There was an abandoned vibrator at his side that he’d given up on in preference of pretending his own fingers where Phil’s, and he felt so fucking good that he came almost instantly after pressing against his g-spot, collapsing backwards into a pile of pillows that smelled like Phil.

Phil, Phil, Phil, he was all Dan could think about, and he gasped and moaned as he writhed in his nest, soaking in the fact that everything smelt like alpha. Never before had Dan felt so good, and while he was a mix of exhausted and bored when he wasn’t in the midsts of heat waves pressing into his tummy and begging Dan to get pregnant, he was also content, because for the first time in his life, Dan had a partner to think of while he went through this.

Not to mention, when he was finished, he had a standing date with Phil to finally have sex, something he couldn’t stop thinking of.

How many times now had he rutted against Phil’s cock and felt the outline of the alpha, hot and long in his jeans? How many times had he pressed in close and felt that bulge, body reacting in desperate want to have it inside already? Phil’s mouth was pure heaven on Dan’s lips, and he couldn’t even begin to imagine how it was going to feel everywhere else, but he wanted it. He wanted it more than he wanted anything in the world, and as the image of Phil biting into his scent gland, bonding him, sunk into Dan’s mind, he came with an explosive call of the alpha’s name, knuckle deep into his core once more, and hand fisted tight around his dick.

Dan didn’t know what was better, the image, or the sensation, and he gasped as he rocked into himself, desperate for Phil, soaked in sweat and slick, wishing the alpha was there to clean him up.

The memory of him would have to be enough for now. Dan just knew he couldn’t wait until he could finally have the love of his life in every way.

 On the fourth morning after Phil had left Dan’s side, Dan woke up exhausted, but okay. The heat cramps had dissipated, and the desperate arousal that had made his skin thrum for the past three days was finally gone. His cock was soft and limp against his thigh, and while his insides throbbed from being used and abused so much, the slick had pretty much stopped, and he wasn’t clenching desperately around nothing anymore.

He was, however, covered in slick, and fully aware that the entire walk-in he’d sequestered himself in smelled like nothing but heat and omega pheromones. Dan was willing to bet his entire flat was tinged with the scent as well, but while Dan knew he was going to have to get up eventually and clean the whole mess up, he was mostly just relieved.

Heat’s were amazing, don’t get Dan wrong. He actually really enjoyed them, and while spending a heat with a partner was always going to be better than spending it alone, Dan had yet to meet an omega who actually complained about their heat when they came less often than seven-ish times a year. Sure, they were long, often boring, and sometimes painful, but the chance to take time off and feel flushed with pleasure for three days wasn’t something to gawk at. Most omega’s enjoyed the time to feel extra pleasured, and when it came time to get pregnant and have babies, most seemed to feel euphoric.

Dan couldn’t wait to one day experience that, but not until he and Phil were ready.

No, Dan was relieved that his heat was over because it meant he’d finally get to have Phil back in his home, and he’d honestly desperately missed the alpha since he’d been gone.

Dan’s body was sore, he was tired of living off of protein bars and water, and he wanted Phil home, but he didn’t so much mind that he’d just spent three days essentially pleasuring himself to the mental image of Phil.

The fact that Phil was going to be the one pleasuring him the next time, though… well, that was enough to get Dan out of his nest and cleaning up.

The nest went first. With his heat over, and his hormones back to normal, Dan didn’t crave the safety of the little den any longer. He pulled it apart, sheets first, to start setting them in the wash with a special, slick dispelling soap. Then, he made two more piles by the washer and dryer; one full of the duvets he’d used up, and another full of the clothing he’d eventually need to return to Phil, as well as his own that he’d need to hang back up.

Once that was mostly taken care of, Dan took the more non-cloth like items such as his teddy bear, and his toys, into the bathroom to manually clean of his scent. The teddy bear, Dan knew, would have to air out for the most part, as he’d used it for nearly every single one of his heats in the past, but it hardly mattered. If it was left in the bathroom, it shouldn’t bother anyone too much.

His toys, on the other hand, needed to be properly washed and sanitized before Dan put them away, and his fingers were deft and quick against the malleable plastic. He’d cleaned them a thousand times in the past, and he had no desire to linger over them now when he had something much more pleasant coming for him tonight.

Just the thought made Dan grin and groan a little, low in his throat. He’d lived off the image of Phil fucking him for three days, now. The idea of it finally happening was making him wet, and he had to tighten his legs a bit to prevent the slick from getting everywhere.

On the upside, it didn’t smell quite as arousing as heat-slick did, and reassured Dan that he was most definitely finished with that part of his life for now. No, any arousal Dan felt now was purely his own, and not instinct. He couldn’t wait until Phil got home.

 By the time Dan had finished cleaning and airing out his apartment, a second load of duvets in the washer, it was nearing six o’clock. Phil didn’t tend to get off and home until closer to nine, but Dan hadn’t yet texted him it was safe to come back to Dan’s, and his heart was racing in his chest at the very idea of it all. He could feel his insides sopping with slick already, desperate for something Dan had been waiting months to have, and he scolded himself a little for getting overly excited.

What if Phil had changed his mind? What if he wanted to wait a little longer before they had sex? Dan could and would understand that, never wanting to push the alpha past his boundaries, but he needed to get his body under control before he lost his mind completely and demanded Phil come home and fuck him already.

Settling back on the couch, Dan finally relaxed and picked up his phone.

Phil had been texting him all day, the same as he had the past three - little nonsense words about what was going on, and pictures of things that had reminded Phil of Dan. There was even another selfie of Phil frowning at the camera, captioned with how he reacted to his coworkers being absolute idiots, and it made Dan laugh and sigh happily as he fingered his phone in his hands.

Phil Lester was everything that Dan had ever wanted, and he still couldn’t figure out how he’d gotten so lucky.

To: Phil Lester <3

De-heat-afied the flat. Come home? :(

From: Phil Lester <3

home? :’D

To: Phil Lester <3

well, you said it yourself. you practically live here now. so yeah… come home

From: Phil Lester <3

be there in twenty minutes

There was no mention of their plans in the quick five minute conversation. They didn’t discuss what Dan was hoping was going to happen. They didn’t talk about missing each other, or the I-love-you’s, or anything else that had happened since the last time they’d seen each other, and yet, it didn’t seem to matter to Dan.

Phil had called his flat home, had joked about it being something more to him than just Dan’s flat, and had spent a good portion of Dan’s heat complaining that all of his things were at Dan’s. Phil had promised to be home nearly three hours before he normally got off work, and that… that was everything to Dan.

Just knowing that Phil already considered Dan’s home, home too, and that he’d missed Dan enough to leave work early, that was everything to Dan, who couldn’t seem to stop it when he started to purr and fell backwards on his couch to lay against the cushions with stars in his eyes. His heart was beating frantically in his chest, aching in a way that made Dan want to burst with how much he loved Phil Lester.

Never… never in his life had he felt so treasured and so wanted. It didn’t matter, in that moment, if they had sex that night. It didn’t matter, because Dan already had everything he’d ever wanted.

 Ever the gentleman - or just a dork, Dan wasn’t sure - Phil knocked on the front door when he arrived.

Dan knew it was him because he’d be able to pick up Phil’s scent from anywhere by now, and he rolled his eyes at the sound because Phil had long since been given a key, but he didn’t complain as he stood and hurried to his front door, desperate to see his alpha again. His fingers were slippery on the doorknob, but he managed to pull it open, and was taken by surprise when the first thing he saw was another huge bouquet of wild flowers completely obscuring his view of Phil.

“I - what?” Dan stuttered, blushing a deep red at the notion of getting flowers again, like they were back in the beginning days and Phil was still trying to court him. He could feel his breathing had picked up, and he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips, nor the way he seemed to melt into himself a little. It was such a silly, unnecessary gesture, and yet Dan was living for it.

“Phil,” he whispered, as he reached out to take the bouquet at the same time as Phil chuckled at him. His fingers tightened around the purple paper that was wrapped around the bouquet as he pulled it in close, for one second completely captivated by the scent and sight of the flowers. Then, he turned his gaze completely towards Phil, only to be faced with a look of complete and utter self-satisfaction painted across his features.

Dan was certain that he probably looked entirely enamoured.

“I hate you,” Dan muttered, and dropped the flowers to his side, taking two steps forward and pressing in close to nuzzle into his alpha. Phil chuckled again and wrapped his arms instantly around Dan, like he couldn’t help himself, and buried his face in Dan’s hair. “You didn’t have to,” Dan added for good measure as he inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of his alpha and wishing desperately to bury himself in him entirely.

“I did,” Phil murmured in response, his hands soothing against Dan’s back, scenting him unobtrusively. He breathed deeply against Dan’s hair, like he wanted to saturate Dan in Phil, and then pressed a kiss delicately to the top of his head. “I wanted to give you something special because - because I missed you,” he added, laughing at himself and hugging Dan a little tighter for a moment. “Can you really blame me?”

Dan chuckled as well, and shook his head, eyes a little wet as he pressed his face against Phil.

“No. I can’t. I missed you too,” he shot back, and sighed when Phil rumbled in response, the sound pleasant and warm as it soaked into Dan.

He’d missed this so much, more than he could say. He could spend hours just cuddling with Phil, wrapped up in his scent, and the long three days apart had felt like an eternity when Dan had spent the entire time imagining Phil was with him, in bed. Dan hadn’t even gotten to experience that yet, and it had been amazing. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like when…

His face grew a deeper red as his body started to react in tandem with his thoughts.

Dan shifted against Phil, trying to hide the fact that he was growing hard, only for Phil to draw him in closer and inhale deeply.

“I think we should get inside,” the alpha rumbled, his voice all deep and husky, the way it only ever seemed to get when he was taken slightly by instinct, when he was hard and wanting for Dan. The sound made Dan shudder and mewl, pressing in closer to Phil despite the fact that the alpha had suggested otherwise, and he pressed tentative, needy kisses against Phil’s chest.

“We probably should,” Dan agreed after a second, mind a little hazy.

He tried to pull back from Phil, but for a moment, the alpha wouldn’t let him go. His hands tightened around Dan, holding him closer, and then relaxed completely as Phil sighed. Not wanting to test the limits of Phil’s self control, Dan hurriedly stepped out of his arms, and turned on his heel to head straight for the kitchen, some part of his brain still very aware that he had a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

The sound of his front door shutting behind him was eerily reminiscent of the time Phil had showed up at Dan’s house that second time, and when the alpha’s footsteps carefully followed Dan into the kitchen, he felt a shiver rush up his spine.

Dan didn’t want to rush into this though, and while he was trembling with want, he turned, dropped the bouquet on his counter, and stared up at Phil with needy eyes.

“Alpha,” he managed, swallowing thickly when this made Phil’s pupils dilate. His hands were in fists at his sides, like he was trying to control himself, and it was like dynamite in Dan’s veins. He could feel himself beginning to grow wet, to throb with desire, because he hadn’t once seen Phil lose control in Dan’s presence just yet.

Dan wondered if Phil was just finally at the end of his rope, and couldn’t help throbbing in reaction to that.

Phil inhaled deeply, and shut his eyes.

“Look,” Dan insisted, “I know you said - before my heat, you said you’d only been waiting for the right time, but I don’t want to rush this. If you still aren’t… aren’t ready, that’s fine, Phil. When we said after, I didn’t mean it had to be immediately after,” he explained, trying to maintain his breathing and not make it anymore obvious just how desperate he was for the alpha. He’d been waiting so long, though, ready and willing to be taken and marked and claimed. His veins trembled with it, heart beating erratically in his chest. All Dan wanted was to know what Phil was like, what he tasted like, how he’d treat Dan…

He moaned before he could stop himself.

“Dan,” Phil gasped, sounding just as desperate and willing as Dan. “I want this. I want you. I’ve wanted you since day one, I just didn’t want to screw things up. Please… you’ve been all I’ve been able to think about since that night. I need you to tell me now if you’ve changed your mind. I want… I want to finally have this with you.”

His eyes were sad, and though his hands were still clenched into fists at his sides, like he was holding himself back from pouncing on Dan, he seemed to be trying to pull himself together, reign in his desire so that he could do what Dan wanted, what Dan needed, whatever that might be.

The sight of Phil’s self restraint… it broke Dan, and he launched himself into the alpha’s arms without a second thought.

For a second, Dan wondered if this was all because of his heat. Did he smell of pheromones? Were they screwing with Phil’s head? Had he not gotten rid of the scent quite enough, or was he still in heat? But no, as Dan inhaled deeply, mind dizzy with his want for Phil, he became very aware that there was next to no heat pheromones in his apartment, and those that were there, weren’t enough to drive either of them as crazy as they seemed to be just then.

Dan’s mouth came down on Phil’s, and he whispered out a soft, “I’m ready,” that seemed to be everything both male’s finally needed to break the long standing truce they’d held for months, now. Dan mewled, Phil growled, and suddenly, Dan was completely and utterly wrapped up in long-limbed alpha.

Phil’s mouth was warm as ever. Despite the way Dan could feel Phil rapidly losing control, he kissed just as sweet and as passionately as he ever had, licking and sucking at Dan’s mouth and nipping gently at his lips. When he pressed in deep, he did so in a way that felt all consuming and heated, and yet gentle at the same time. His hands embraced Dan’s body and pressed Dan close, but he didn’t crush them together the way Dan had known partners to do in the past. He just cradled Dan close with a pressure that made Dan feel wanted, but not suffocated, and kissed him until Dan was absolutely aching for more.

They were both making ridiculous noises. Dan couldn’t seem to stop purring on and off, little mewls and sighs escaping his throat, all while a rumble took up in Phil’s chest and echoed inside of Dan’s body. Dan’s hands buried themselves under Phil’s shirt, finally feeling safe enough to touch skin he’d ached to see for ages, all while Phil’s hands seemed to stutter up and down Dan’s back, unsure where they wanted to land.

It felt wonderful, and as Dan grinded his hips forwards, only to find Phil’s answering arousal there ready to meet him, he wanted nothing more than to take this to the bed.

So he did.

Dragging his mouth from Phil’s with a loud gasp, Dan pulled back against his touch, and felt a zing go through him at the ease with which Phil let him go. Phil’s eyes were half lidded and dark, the blue something different now, overblown with black and such a thin line it made it look even more intense. His mouth was wet from Dan’s kisses, and his hands were shaking at his sides, hips undulating slightly.

He looked absolutely wrecked, and the fact that Dan had done that to him, made him ache with need.

“Come on,” he insisted to Phil, taking his hand in his and tugging him hurriedly into the bedroom.

There were new sheets on the bed that didn’t smell like Phil anymore because Dan had washed them, but neither male seemed to care as they entered the room, eyes only for each other. Dan kept tugging at Phil’s hand, turning him until the alpha was doing what he wanted, and then pushed the male back against their bed until he was splayed out with his legs spread and hanging off the edge of the bed.

He looked so good like that, that Dan couldn’t help but to stop and stare. He’d wanted this for so long, wanted to have and see and hold Phil like this, eat him up and feel him intimately against Dan, and now that he was getting just that, Dan wasn’t sure where to start.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, “Phil. You look really hot like that,” he gasped, and found himself stepping forward instantly. Phil chuckled in response, smiling at Dan, and reached out with shaking hands to take Dan into his arms.

“Thanks,” he grumbled, voice so fucking deep and hot. “Now come here. I wasn’t quite done kissing you,” he teased.

How was Dan supposed to deny a request like that?

Without hesitating, Dan stepped forward and crawled onto the bed with Phil, pleased when the alpha scooted back so his legs no longer dangled off the side, and shifted his own legs to bracket on either side of Phil’s hips. Phil’s hands came up to press under the edge of Dan’s shirt, for the very first time touching Dan’s actual skin, and Dan purred as he leaned in close for another kiss.

Their lips pressed together just as needily as before, but it was the progression of Phil’s hands that really got Dan going. He rucked up Dan’s shirt without a care in the world, his hands so cold and yet hot against Dan’s skin, painting circles into his flesh and skating up his back to feel the outline of his shoulder blades. Phil had touched him a thousand times in the past, but never quite like this, never flesh on flesh, and when his hands skated back down to count against the bones of Dan’s spine, he shivered and moaned into Phil’s mouth so loud, Phil actually groaned in reaction.

“You sure your heat is over, Dan?” Phil wondered, disconnecting their mouths to laugh at Dan, “Cause you are… really, really reactive,” he added wonderingly, eyes sparkling and lips quirked in mischief. Dan leaned forward to kiss him hungrily again, his own hands moving to ruck up Phil’s shirt, exposing the alpha’s belly and sides, and tucking just under his armpits.

“I’m sure. I’m always loud,” he teased Phil when he pulled away from his lips, only to stare in wonder at the dark, dusky peaks of Phil’s nipples and the tangle of chest hair now exposed to him.

Phil’s chest was red, flushed with desire as he shuddered under Dan’s touch, who sat up on Phil’s hips to press his hands all over Phil’s exposed body. His bum rested just over the alpha’s straining dick, but Dan did nothing in reaction to it, merely smoothing his fingers around nipples and chest hair, plucking at plump skin, and watching the way Phil’s body reacted under his.

Phil never once took his eyes off of Dan, watching the way he touched, and licked his lips. Dan’s own gaze kept flicking up to Phil’s, until Dan couldn’t take it any longer, and he leaned down to bite a mark into Phil’s chest, just under his ribcage, sucking hungrily and claiming the alpha as his. He felt his scent shift to permeate over Phil’s skin, and groaned at the way Phil growled at him, fingers coming down to tangle in Dan’s hair. Dan merely sucked and bit harder, eyes closing in wonderment at the fact that he was finally getting to do this, and shifted to ruck his shirt up enough that he could pull it completely away when he pulled back from Phil’s rib cage.

He did, tossing his shirt over his shoulder and watching the way Phil’s eyes instantly moved to his exposed skin to trace over his chest.

“I want you, Alpha,” Dan whispered, “Want all of you. Want you to mark me all over,” he groaned, reaching down to press his hand against the bruise now forming on Phil’s stomach, and gasping at the way Phil growled and rolled his hips up into Dan’s ass in response. His cunt clenched around nothing slick beginning to dribble down until Dan could feel that he was getting soaked, and he groaned, throwing his head back in a way he hoped would be enticing.

“Take me, Alpha,” Dan said again, hoping this time, Phil would get the message.

He did.

While there were so many things Dan wanted to do with Phil, so much time he wanted to spend pinning the alpha to his bed, rutting down against him, and riding the cock Dan had been craving for so long, he wanted this even more - Phil taking control and making Dan feel like heaven had come to Earth early. The alpha flipped them, pressing Dan into the bed, and surging in to kiss Dan all over again.

His hands burned as they skated over Dan’s ribcage, playing at the waistband of his pants, and smoothing back up to tweak at Dan’s sensitive nipples. His own chest wasn’t quite as flat as Phil’s, filled with more fat to make room for breasts that would form should Dan get pregnant, and Phil seemed to love the swell of them, pressing the flesh up and into his palm as he groaned into Dan’s mouth. His hips rutted down into Dan’s, pressing their cocks against each other through their pants, and making Dan’s body shudder for more.

He could scent the smell of slick taking over the room, sweet and heady, as could Phil, as he pulled away from Dan’s lips and snuffle at his neck. His hands moved from cupping at Dan’s small breasts to instead rub between his legs, where the slick was pouring free, and rumbled against Dan’s neck.

“Shit. I forgot - how warm, and wet omega’s get,” he gasped against Dan’s neck. “You’re so beautiful Dan, and you smell amazing,” he groaned, nuzzling in close once more before his lips came down to suck around Dan’s scent glands.

Dan arched into the touch, moaning loudly, and rutted his body down against Phil’s searching hands as the alpha came so close to bonding them. He didn’t bite, however, not the way Dan had imagined he would - instead, he sucked, and licked, and kissed at the small spot until he seemed to have coated it in his scent so thoroughly he might as well have bit down, and then pulled away to hum against Dan’s mouth, nose rubbing gently along Dan’s.

Dan opened his eyes to find the alpha was staring at him with such need and love in his gaze, Dan nearly melted.

“Wanna bond with you one day. Wanna mark you for the world to see… but not today,” he explained, and kissed Dan leisurely one more time.

His hands had moved from between Dan’s legs, to his thighs, were he massaged the clothed skin through Dan’s sweat pants, and smoothed his fingers against him. It felt so good that Dan shuddered as Phil kissed him, licking into his mouth as gently as he always did, before pulling away.

“But I’m going to mark you in every other way,” Phil continued after a moment, the words gravely in his husky voice, eyes dark. They sent a thrill through Dan who threw his head back and moaned as Phil leaned in close and nipped at his collarbones, proceeding to decorate Dan’s chest in light hickeys and bruises that made Dan’s core tingle. He didn’t know what was throbbing worse - his dick, or his cunt; all he knew was that he wanted more.

Phil’s mouth came around Dan’s nipple, and it was better than he’d ever imagined. Phil suckled at the swell of Dan’s almost-breast, needy and wanton as he kissed and bit at it, tangling his tongue around as if he were searching for something more than just breast. The mental image of Phil suckling at Dan’s milk-wet breasts while he was pregant made Dan groan and spend pre-cum from his dick rutting up as Phil chuckled against him.

Then, he pulled back from Dan’s nipple to suck at the skin around it, marking Dan as his, before trailing further downward and marking Dan’s stomach as well.

As Phil moved, mouth hot and hands burning against his skin, Dan couldn’t help feeling like he was going to go crazy. Phil was better than Dan had ever imagined he could be, more slick and warm than anyone else Dan had ever had. He mouthed along Dan’s bellybutton, tongue fucking him there, and giving Dan a taste of what he could do, and then he was nibbling at Dan’s hip bones as his fingers played with the waistband of Dan’s pants.

Meanwhile, the alpha still hadn’t taken off his shirt, and Dan growled as he sat up and pushed the tease away from him.

“Strip,” he demanded, as his own hands pushed at the waistband of his pants, his boxers, slipping them free from and releasing the full scent of his slick into the air.

Dan could see how it was effecting Phil as the alpha clambered off of Dan to do as he’d been told, stripping first his work shirt, and then his belt from his jeans. For a second, Dan could imagine Phil tying him up with that, and then the moment was gone as Phil struggled with his jeans.

Dan reached down to stroke his hand over his cock as Phil undressed, eyes on nothing more than the great reveal of the alpha cock he’d been waiting for, and then it was there, far more glorious even then Dan had ever imagined it could be. It sprang free of his boxers as Phil scrambled out of them, hard and heavy as it bobbed between his legs, only a bit bigger than Dan’s omega one.

Alphas were always just a bit bigger, more than average, to accommodate for the knot that would settle at the base of their dick, but Dan was by no means small. In fact, he was proud of the fact that his own dick rested pale and thick against his tummy as Phil hungrily climbed back over him.

What he wasn’t expecting, was the way Phil instantly delved in to take Dan’s cock into his mouth, pleasuring Dan in a way he’d never quite experienced before - cool fingers pressed between the lips of his cunt, playing lightly with the flaps and the slick there as his mouth worked diligently and hotly over Dan’s cock. His tongue swirled over Dan’s tip, and his throat constricted around his dick as he took Dan as far as he could, fingers making Dan’s core ache with need where they played.

Phil was inhaling Dan’s scent deeply as Dan groaned underneath his touch, bucking almost wildly against Phil but trying his best to keep his body sated and still.

Dan was amazed he could want so much when he’d only just finished his heat, but he didn’t complain as Phil pressed a teasing fingers inside of Dan at the same time as he pulled back from Dan’s dick and grinned up at him.

“You taste better than I ever imagined,” Phil rumbled, “Better than anyone I’ve ever had. My mate,” he continued, leaning in to slurp up Dan’s cock all over again. Dan gasped, and groaned against the words, the sensations, as Phil pressed the finger in deeper, exploring and taking all that Dan had.

He felt so good, so much better than Dan himself, better than any toy, but it was his words that got Dan.

Phil pulled off his dick again with another hot pop.

“I wonder how good your slick will taste,” he said, and ducked in close to close his mouth around Dan’s cunt and suck.

It was… not something Dan had quite been ready for. He’d considered the chance that his alpha would want to put his mouth there as well as Dan’s cock, had considered that his alpha might give him everything, but Dan hadn’t truly expected so soon. The sensation of Phil’s mouth sucking at his cunt, lapping at his slick, all while his finger remained pressed inside of Dan… it was the best feeling Dan had ever experienced, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he came almost instantly when Phil pressed his tongue inside as well and slurped at Dan’s body, swallowing all that Dan had to give in the most obviously pleased ministration ever, rumbling in a pleased way.

Dan’s cock shook, and he came, gasping as cum dripped all over his abdomen while his cunt clenched up and scent a rush of slick down and out of him, straight into Phil’s mouth.

Dan shuddered as pleasure overtook him, crashing over his mind and making him cry out as his hips shook. Phil, meanwhile, didn’t stop pressing in deeper, sucking at all Dan had to give him, arching his finger and pressing against Dan’s walls in a way that made him feel like he was never going to stop coming.

His face screwed up, and his legs tensed as he came, Phil groaning for more and likely throbbing below Dan.

Dan wanted so much more.

By the time Dan had come down from his high, Phil was still fingering him lightly, but his mouth had moved from Dan’s cunt to his stomach where he was lapping gently at Dan’s skin, clearing him of spunk and rumbling happily. He had a pleased smile on his face, cock red and hard between his legs, but he didn’t seem to care for it at all as he moved his mouth to Dan’s dick and suckled gently at the head.

Dan let out a whimper at the sensation, and reached down to thread his fingers back through Phil’s black hair.

“Alpha,” he gasped, forcing the alpha’s gaze back onto him. “Fuck me. Now,” he demanded, watching as Phil reacted to the words in what seemed like slow motion. His expression turned from pleased, to dangerous, like he was losing his control, like he needed Dan as bad as Dan needed Phil.

It didn’t even matter that Dan had just come. He wanted Phil, and he wanted Phil now.

The alpha flat out growled at Dan’s demand, and shifted up on his knees as the finger inside of Dan started to work in earnest. Dan mewled at the way it felt, and grinned up at Phil in satisfaction, stretching his body out to show himself off completely. He arched his neck to set the alpha off more completely, and groaned when it caused Phil to press a second finger in needily.

“Fuck,” the alpha groaned. “I can’t wait to be inside of you, omega. Dan, god, you look so good,” he gasped, and leaned in close to nip at his neck.

He nuzzled it, licking over it again, as his fingers worked to spread Dan for him, even though Dan didn’t need it. He didn’t say a word, certain Phil was bigger than Dan was fully expecting, sure that Phil knew what he was doing, and waited as his body ached with pleasure, ready to come all over again.

“You’re cunt is so warm, Dan. So fucking warm. I forgot how good this could feel… I’ve wanted you so long,” Phil rumbled, mumbling the words against the shell of Dan’s ear, licking at the skin there and making Dan shudder all over again. He gasped at the words, arching his body up to Phil’s, and reached out with rough fingers to force Phil’s head close and kiss him.

“I’m ready,” he gasped after another minute, words muffled under Phil’s tongue, which was becoming far less composed as he usually was. He seemed unable to be as gentle as he wanted, and kissed and soothed at Dan’s mouth in apology. “Fuck me, now, Phil,” he continued, and laughed when a groan punched its way out of Phil’s throat in response.

The alpha didn’t hesitate. He pulled his fingers free from Dan’s body, and shifted so his cock bobbed between his legs and so close to Dan’s cunt, that his body clenched down at the thought of it. Dan was biting his bottom lip, and Phil was staring at him with eyes so bright and full of lust, it was amazing he hadn’t sunk all the way inside just yet.

Of course, that’s when Phil decided to take Dan completely by surprise when he said, “I love you, my Daniel,” before kissing him once more.

This time, his lips were not quite as heated. His touch was calmer, somehow, contrasting completely with the dark of his eyes mere seconds ago, but Dan didn’t even care. Somehow, this was better, so much fucking better, and even as Phil seemed to begin to lose himself again to the lust so obviously boiling over, he was gentle as his cock head nudged at Dan’s entrance and pressed inside.

Being fucked was… amazing. Being fucked by an alpha, was always particularly special.

Being fucked by Phil was like the beginning and end of the world.

He sunk in slow, cock pushing Dan’s body open, mouth panting against Dan’s lips. His chest was sweaty but perfect against Dan’s chest, flush to him as he worked to get his hips flush to Dan’s, groaning a little with each new inch Dan took. He didn’t rush, and he didn’t push, and he didn’t overwhelm Dan, but at the same time, he totally did.

Having sex with one’s mate was… more than Dan could have imagined.

There was just something about the intimacy, the care Phil put in his every movement, something about the fact that Phil had wanted to wait until just the right moment, that made everything about this seem almost otherworldly.

By the time Phil had settled all the way in, Dan knew he never wanted it to end.

“Phil,” he was gasping, the name chanting from his mouth over and over, and over again. “Phil, I love you,” he gasped at some point, the words lost to Phil’s mouth as he gasped against Dan, hips shifting but doing their best not to move just yet.

Their bodies fit together perfectly, a symphony seeming to rise in Dan, purrs escaping him and his heart beating fast in his chest. Phil was rumbling against him, scenting at his neck, licking over his skin, teasing with his teeth like he wanted to bite, but he didn’t.

There was a ringing inside of Dan’s ears, and then Phil whispered, “Mine,” all over again, and started to move.

Dan’s body surged upwards into Phil’s at the first drag of hot cock inside of his warm walls, his core singing as Phil’s body drove in and out of him. Phil was growling at Dan, mindless, hands clenched into Dan’s sides, fingernails biting into his skin, marking Dan all over again. His teeth were bared against Dan’s neck, little huffs escaping him as he moved, all while Dan keened and mewled, wrapping his entire body around Phil’s and drawing him close.

They moved together, as best they could. Dan’s movements were frantic, Phil’s bordering on out of control, and yet it was perfect. Everything about it was perfect, wonderful, amazing, and Dan’s heart sang as Phil held him and fucked him.

One hand sank between their bodies at one point, playing with Dan’s cock. Phil’s thumb stroked over the top, at the slit, pumping the foreskin up and down to give Dan more pleasure, and then Dan felt it - Phil was panting, his body seizing up, the fast but tempered paced he’d been setting falling apart in what seemed an instant. Something… something was nuding at Dan’s entrance, growing, popping, and Dan realized it was Phil’s knot.

The alpha was going to knot him, and the idea of it left Dan brain dead.

“Please!” he cried, body seizing up on his own desire to come, “Knot me, alpha, knot me!” he begged, body surging down on Phil’s cock, begging the knot to press inside, to push past the lips of his pussy and sink straight into him, locking them together for a few moments at least.

Phil grunted in response, licking desperately at Dan’s neck, and then he pushed Dan’s head to the side and bit suddenly and surprisingly into Dan’s shoulder.

The sensation stung, wasn’t anywhere near where Dan wished it would be, and yet he knew that Phil hadn’t been able to control himself but hadn’t wanted to make a mistake. While Dan mourned the loss of bonding pheromones that should have flooded him, he was pleased to know that Phil wouldn’t allow a night of passion to take the choice away from both of them, even if he knew they both wanted it more than anything.

The right time. They were waiting for the right time, not the first time they had sex, not Dan’s heat - the right time.

Phi’s knot suddenly popped in, and Dan cried out as his body was stretched further still. Phil’s cock practically exploded inside of him, hot cum filling him up, and Dan groaned at the sensation, body craving it as his cunt bared down to take it all, squeezing every lost drop from Phil’s cock.

Phil’s hips seized up, pumped twice more, stilled. His hand stuttered over Dan’s cock, and Dan came too, spunk once again painting its way up his chest as he gasped, fucked down on Phil’s cock and stilled too.

Phil collapsed on top of Dan with a gasp.

His teeth released Dan’s shoulder.

Dan nuzzled at the top of Phil’s hair, and thought, I could live with this, with a giddy little chuckle.

He never wanted to let Phil out of his life.

 Afterwards, once they’d cleaned up and Phil had crawled into Dan’s bed stark naked to spoon against his back, Dan asked the question he’d been waiting a month to ask.

“Move in with me,” he said, voice soft, quite, a little hoarse. He was purring, the same he’d been pretty much since Phil had knotted him, pretty much since Phil had come into his life, and he didn’t even care that the words had come out more as a sleep demand.

Phil chuckled against his neck, and nuzzled in close, wet hair brushing against Dan’s bruised and aching shoulder.

He pressed a kiss against the nape of Dan’s neck, and sighed.

“I pretty much already have. I don’t see why we couldn’t make it official.”

The words made Dan grin, and he patted at Phil’s hands where it rested on Dan’s hip.

“Good. Cause I never want you to leave me again.”

Phil chuckled again.

“Never,” he promised and sealed it with one last kiss against Dan’s scent glands.

One day… he’d bite into that as well, and they’d be mated, forever.

Dan couldn’t wait.

But also, there was no hurry.