#i mean not like i purposefully hid it lol

[cyber-seaweed]

my bday photoshoot was kinda lana del rey tumblr so im posting it here.

[peanutblowandjobsandwich]

i wish i was making this up for shits and giggles but i went to an anti bullying campaign with the kid who was like bullying/abusing me at the time mostly bc i didnt want to be in a relationship with them and we got uh like pins n those bracelets etc n every time i see them i remember the bad things n it's just funny ahah myb i shld get rid of them

[shirefantasies]

Hey, babes!

Honestly I have brain rot for the idea of the ‘woman of the group does sexy dance to help mission’ trope and like LOTR boys. I also have brain rot for them hearing her sing ‘I Wanna Make Love To You’ by Etta James.

Anyway can I request the elves reactions to reader do a sexy burlesque/strip style dance? Like they in the audience and how they’d react.

By elves I mean: Elrond, Lindir, Thranduil, Legolas, Haldir and Arwen

OK I’M YELLING (I went ahead n threw our girl Galadriel in there cuz gotta catch em all right? 😁) there’s not really a mission lol but hope this does it justice! My latest D&D session the other night ended with burlesque performance so this feels like the perfect time to post this hehe

The Elves Reacting to F!Reader’s Burlesque Performance

Warnings: suggestive obviously 😆

Thranduil

Sure, he knew you’d all but been dared to set foot upon the stage, but something in your resolute expression and the long robe you wore had Thranduil’s eyebrows raising. Nary did he expect the way your hand shot out, grabbing the pole the moment the lights dimmed, or the way your robe dropped, revealing the lowest-cut, highest-slit dress he’d ever seen you in. Breath hitching, he watched as a long wave of fabric draped between your gorgeous legs, which wrapped around the pole as you climbed it. Eyes darkening as you spun, he could hardly help imagining what, or whom, else they could wind around so, and if he would ever be so blessed to see the confident air overtaking you again…

Legolas

Frowning, Legolas disappeared further into the gathering crowd. Gimli was the one who’d dared him to attend the show, telling him he was sure no pointy-ear could handle it. How could it be so, simply a performance? The crowd looked far too eager for you to be putting them into any sort of- oh. You emerged onto the stage, forearms and down covered with feathers like the wings of a great bird. Your legs were almost entirely bare, skirt minimal and bodice little more than a corset. Twirling and pirouetting into poses the woodland prince could only describe as suggestive, you beamed innocently at the crowd and hid behind your feathers, lashes fluttering. Another performer emerged behind you, hands on your waist and fingers deftly loosening your corset… Gripping the arms of his seat tighter, Legolas leaned in, a yearning in his own fingers readily accepting his friend’s latest challenge.

Haldir

A dancer you were. That was a known fact whispered among those familiar with you, often calling you something of a knife-dancer. Curiosity got the better of Haldir when scandal colored whispers of your performance right outside the woods. Was it dangerous, perhaps? Pride flowed into the little smile of anticipation he wore as fast-paced music filled the room and flames were snuffed, leading you to slide gracefully into the dim. Crouching, you crawled to the edge of the stage with a bloodthirsty grin that sent shivers down Haldir’s spine. Flicks of your wrists revealed your famed blades, which you twirled, tossed, and dragged gently along the length of your tongue. Brows raising, he found himself leaning forward with new interest. What sort of dance was- Coherent thought ceased immediately when you tossed your blades, caught them, and began slicing away at purposefully shoddy seams upon your outfit, revealing more and more until the elf was on the edge of his seat…

Galadriel

Hearing of a new form of entertainment served only to pique Galadriel’s curiosity and draw her from her frequent solitude. After all, if it was making her people happy… She did not expect to see a lone performer upon a platform, elaborately feathered fans covering most of her figure, but there you were. Clad all in white, at least from what she could see near your feet, you slowly closed the fans. The long swaths of fabric that hung near the ground begun only at your hips, the expanse of your legs utterly bare as you extended them, moving gracefully across the stage as your fans accentuated every curve and undulation of your body. Jerking, you rotated, hips swiveling as you happened to face the Lady of Lórien, and watching you through her lashes Galadriel felt a devilish smile rise to her lips. She saw exactly why there had been such a buzz…

Lindir

There had been talk of you giving a performance of some kind, but all Lindir had been able to retrieve on the subject was that he should quite like to be in the audience, so with a light heart he shuffled into the crowd, pleased to be quite close to the stage set up for you. Perhaps you’d learned a new instrument under his nose and wishes to surprise him with a performance! Perhaps- You slunk to the center clad in, oh dear, quite a sheer skirt. Feeling a rush of heat to his face, he tried to focus upon the swell of music, largely successful until you ripped your top off, hips swinging lower as your layers thinned and thinned… You froze momentarily, wearing little more than your corset, and made direct eye contact with Lindir, whose eyes widened and body felt quite faint. Slowly, deliberately, you took up your dance once more, grinning at him as you began unlacing the back of your garment. His hands shot up, half-covering his face, but he couldn’t help himself peeking again and again.

Elrond

Housing a troupe of performers was certainly an unusual set of circumstances, but not in the slightest beyond the reach of the great homely house. Indeed, at encouragement from Lindir to let music fill his halls, Elrond acquiesced to a performance, unknowing of the so-called ‘dancers’ who would emerge after the exuberant wind section. In fact, it wasn’t until they called you out that Elrond’s eyes widened, brows expressive as ever as they flexed in great shock. You were lowered down on ropes, sitting with your legs largely bared and swinging. Garments- quite the loose term- of drapery covered the rest of your form, but as you leaned back in your swing, you began twisting, swiveling, removing one veil after another… Elrond found himself looking this way and that, but his eyes could never leave you for long. Feeling his gaze darken and his hands flex, he wondered what he had gotten himself into…

Arwen

How scandalous could it be? Many a friend or even a family member or two had rolled eyes and whispered harshly about your performances, but Arwen was not afraid. No matter what it was said to be, she would experience it for it to be so in her mind. Thus she found herself in the audience of the very subject of contempt, the somewhat smaller ratio of maids to men not lost upon her. A great fount was all Arwen could see at the center of it all, at least until one bare leg slowly arched from its edge. Blinking, Arwen watched as it was followed by another, each of them kicking some water onto the crowd before your hands gripped the other side, flipping over to render most of your body visible. Hanging from the sides, you swiveled your hips, head innocently rested upon your folded arms as if your…ahem…rear end were not moving so. Sitting up, you let go, dropping back into the water with a splash before emerging again and grinningly tossing water on more patrons. Arwen found herself mirroring your expression, following your every motion with interest and a strange sense of elation.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

[ew-headyhearts]

Edd would bully his S/O becuz theyre short LOL edd loves his S/O i swear

No, because you're absolutely right!!

So, previously I mentioned that he's pretty tall himself. Not crazy tall like Matt, but it's definitely noticeable. He's so mean with it. Though, I think he's mostly a spiteful type of guy.

He'll purposefully hide all of your favorite snacks on the top shelf. Why you ask? Because he was upset that you didn't help him put away groceries. Now your punishment is asking him for help everytime you want some chips.

Oh, you're too busy talking with someone when Edd wants your attention? Good luck being taken seriously with this guy pressing both of his elbows on top of your head and using you as a glorified arm rest.

Now you're too busy while working on a new project? Mother fucking, bet. Now all of your supplies are taped to the ceiling. Also, he hid the step stool and Edd sure as hell ain't helping you this time. Beg all you want, he won't cave easily.

Edd can also really hold on to a grudge. You could wrong him in the slightest and he will get that revenge months later. You learned this the hard way the last time you forgot to swing by the store and pickup cola for him one time. Months later he will come back with a sincerely cruel plot. It took him months to execute but it was a success.

You come home one day, only to find the stairs have been gutted in the house. There's no access to the bedrooms unless you can scale the wall. Edd will just stand right at where the top of the stairs used to be. Tom and Tord aren't very impressed with the outcome so they both probably get pissy with you too.

[cha-melodius]

Tagged by @lgwilt​ on this post of writer asks for fanfic writer appreciation day. Thanks so much again for the tag! I’m putting most of this below a cut because it got long!

— How long have you been writing fanfiction? 

In total? Errr more than 25 years. But there was a long gap in there!

— Do you have a favorite word? (One that you love. Doesn’t necessarily have to be one you use all the time.)

I feel like I have one, but I really have no idea what it is. (This question made me wish there was some algorithm that would look at all of my works on AO3 and tell me what the most commonly used words are lol)

— Share a favorite run-on sentence that you’ve written.

I purposefully use run-on sentences a lot when I want to show a character drowning in their emotions/feelings. Here are two quite long ones that I found that I particularly like:

It’s not like he wants to spend a night with Loki, that’s insane, but that fact hasn’t stopped his mind from helpfully replaying the feeling of Loki’s fingers curled around his wrist, or how he’d pressed close as they hid just outside the collective’s hideout, waiting for an opportunity to slip away so Mobius could call for backup and Loki could disappear into the shadows again. (—from What Makes A Good Man)

Or, they had seemed that way, until Illya caught himself staring breathlessly at the line of Napoleon’s neck as he craned for a better view of something, or the way his lips pouted when he found his glass of scotch mysteriously empty, or the way his hips moved subtly when he danced to a song only he could hear in the privacy of their suite. (—from Love is a Chemical)

— Share a bit of a scene that you’ve written that still gives you FEELS.

How about: basically the entire end of You, or Your Memory, which I don’t want to spoil for anyone who hasn’t read it. But here’s one part of it:

No one—no one—has ever kissed Loki like this. Not even close. Mobius kisses him with a reverence that is truly shattering, like he savoring every second of contact, like Loki is the only thing in the entire universe that matters. He cradles Loki’s jaw with tenderness that is completely at odds with the way Loki’s hands are twisted the front of his jacket, clinging with a desperation that he’d no doubt find disgraceful if he had even a remote corner of his mind to devote to the thought. As it is, though, he doesn’t. Mobius’s lips are delicate and demanding in turn, setting a pace that makes it feel as if they could keep kissing for the rest of time.

— What is your favorite kind of character interaction to write? 

Enemies (or rivals) to friends to lovers is definitely my favorite dynamic. I can’t get enough!

— Do you have a hyper-specific genre?

I don’t think so! I mean, the single genre I write the most in is spy fiction, but that’s not really hyper-specific. I have too much fun bouncing around in different AUs.

— Any personal or frequently used tags?

“Food as a Metaphor for Love” is in there a lot, but one of my non-standard personal AO3 tags that I love is “soft boys being soft”. According to AO3 my two most-used tags (tied for first) are “Getting Together” and “Angst with a Happy Ending”, which sounds about right.

— Share a joke or funny moment that you’ve written that still makes you laugh.

It’s not really easily shared moment, but one of my first Napollya fics (Light Will Keep Your Heart Beating in the Future) contains a recurring joke about defenestrations in Prague and it always delights me to no end when someone comments on it lol.

— Best editing tip?

Read dialogue out loud to help figure out if the flow is natural.

— What drives you to write?

All these stories in my head busting to get out! And to be honest with you, getting to share them all with you, and hopefully bringing other people joy in reading them.

— Share something about your writing that you have wished someone would ask you about. Or alternatively, something that you are just really proud of.

One of my favorite things is surprising my readers with a twist. When I started plotting out long stories instead of writing them on the fly, I discovered the joy of seeding lots of foreshadowing and hints in the story prior to the twist, which I think (hope!) really makes rereads even better.

— Where do you draw inspiration?

From all around me, really. Sometimes from other media or things I’ve read, sometimes from friends’ ideas or prompts.

— What is your immediate reaction when you receive a new comment on a fic?

Sheer, unadulterated joy? 😅

— What is your biggest challenge in writing?

Probably staying motivated without external validation. It’s why I tend to post multichaps as I’m writing them, because it’s hard to put a lot of effort into a long story and not know if anyone actually cares about it.

— 1–2 sentence preview from your current WIP?? (Only if you are willing.)

I feel bad because my active WIP is in a new-to-me fandom that literally no one on tumblr follows me for, but so it goes! (I’m not abandoning my old fandoms, don’t worry, but I have to get this story out of my head...)

Alex knows his food is damned good, he’s got no false modesty there, but he’s rarely had such a reaction to someone enjoying his cooking. Maybe it’s the way that Henry moans when he takes the first bite that’s making his face feel hot, or the way he shamelessly chases the errant sauce that runs down his long fingers with his tongue that has sweat beading up at his temples. Maybe it’s just really hot in this kitchen.

— What story or scene are you most proud of?

Everyone’s probably tired of hearing me say this, but Love is a Losing Game. I mean, I’m proud of a lot of my stories, but that is the one that really feels like a complete and original novel, even if most of the characters aren’t mine.

— Please link your profile so we can admire your works!

chamel on AO3

[semi-imaginary-place]

back to the diofield chronicle

ch2: between watching 3 playthroughs i think i can finally see most of the character dialogue. wasn't waltaquin's whole family killed? does that make her duke now? or are we being english and only men can own things. why did we take charge lorraine outranks us by far. the first chapter focused on messy noble ties i wonder if we'll find out who sponsored him as a child. see this is the problem of having a month gap. what happened to fredret's family again? he was part of an important noble family that hosted a prince but then he ended up a mercenary's apprentice, what do you mean his family fell.

waltaquin's just out for a good fight, would rather be fighting the empire than bandits but doesn't care about the nation's future.

hey tinfoil conspiracy theory but what if there was a secret negotiation with the empire for a shipment of high quality jade, which the blue foxes just stopped thus starting a war.

waltaquin craves violence, iscarion is looking out for the people, andrias is looking for an angle, and ferdret is the moderator

the high quality is being used by the empire to control monsters, like the demifiend horde and the jade hende confiscated and hid from the government.

ch3: like if he was secretly selling jade to the empire that would be reason to purposefully jeopardize alliance negotiations

andrias has estalt wrapped around his little finger. stop manipulating the boy. he's so impressionable like clay.

the redditch family was killed by a bunch of zombies, was that waltaquin's magic experiments? ye

yup. how convenient that duke hende lept on an excuse to execute his enemies. lol we're a bunch of private military riot breakers, gotta keep that pesky foreign democracy propaganda believing commonners down! yeh ambitious rich man's private army how else was this going to go down but a power grab

i was right in ch1 when i decided i liked iscarion. fredret and iscarion are offput by waltaquin but andrias doesn't seem to care probably exactly because she's so good at killing.

ug problem with the month gap, was meeting lorraine really an accident, what were they doing out there again? ah mercenaries working for izzy's dad

[foxglow-diner]

☾Vinny Hong as Your Boyfriend☽

This has been sitting in my drafts for so long that I don’t really participate in this fandom much anymore I’m so sorry. But I still have this and I know Vinny Girls will wanna read!

                           ｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

If you know anything about Vinny, then you know that he’s pretty hard to get through to directly unless it’s physical harm. That means y’all weren’t a thing until a while after y’all met. 

One day you stopped into the cafe he works at and he ended up being your server. 

At first he was all “Fuck, I hope she isn’t here just to try and flirt.” While, yeah, he’s smoking hot, you were polite and hid everything well, so he was pretty chill.

When you were leaving, another table did so too, and one of the girls there purposefully bumped into him when he had a tray. So as she was just bumbling about how clumsy a cute girl like her is, you actually took the initiative and helped him get all his mess picked back up.

That didn’t go over well either because he was kinda pissed and didn’t really want help and more attention at that moment.

So you left feeling a little frazzled. Vinny meanwhile recovered, his mind ever so often returning to his coldness and lack of thanks to you. 

A few days went by and you headed over there again, not really thinking about last time. 

When Vinny noticed, he nearly dropped his tray again. He groaned and was so sure you were there to yell at him. So he did his best to avoid your table.

That wasn’t the best call as the rest of the Hummingbirds came in and were right next to you. 

Y’all got to talking and Vinny was kinda forced to acknowledge your existence. 

Thankfully, you didn’t make a scene, just asked for a refill. when he brought it, Vinny finally asked, “Are you upset about a few days ago? I don’t know if you remember, but I was kind of a jerk.”

Oh yeah he just didn’t swear to be polite. Or fired.

“I didn’t think anything of it. That was kinda a rough situation anyway,” you shrugged.

Don’t forget that team Hummingbird is right next to you two talking, so they’re all cranking over each other to watch and listen.

because Vinny?!? Talking to a girl?!?! What?!?!

But soon after that, you started coming to the cafe more, Vinny was less... awkward isn’t the word. He’s too manly and tough for that one lol.

Tsundere! That’s it. oh yeah, that’s Vinny, alright.

Y’all make a cute couple and since Vinny is seen as the mom of the group by a lot of fans and some of the characters.

So when y’all are together, you somehow end up as the dad. 

breaking gender roles am I right?

Kind of entails doing embarrassingly loud cheers when they race, scolding where you point your finger and say “I’m not mad, just disappointed” when they get in a fight.

Taking up the more fatherly lingo didn’t work out well, though.

When you called Vinny ‘sport’, he froze in place for a solid minute, Vinny.exe is no longer working. 

                           ｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

[mikanotes]

fucking fearful

chishiya x gn!reader

genre: angst comfort probably, vent

warnings: reader has ocd, swearing, ocd compulsions, mentions of intrusive thoughts, repetition, counting compulsions and number associations, suicidal ideation, blood mentions, maybe intrusive thoughts trigger as well, mentions of death, aib stuff lmao

author's note: this is self-indulgent lol

synopsis: it's gotta end, the fear says.

"What are you still doing in bed? You have to go to the game in like, ten minutes."

You knew that voice. Chishiya.

Your hands covered your ears and you laid on your bed, knees to your chest and elbow closing over your figure. You jolted.

"Can't."

"Can't?" Chishiya questioned, "What do you mean?"

"C-Cant. Go. C-Can't. I-" you exhaled shakily, "I can't-- Fuck, shit. I can't go. Can't."

There was probably nothing as irritating as not being able to properly word out your thoughts.

You watched as the boy slowly walked over to your bed and crouched in front of it, facing you. He had a casual expression on his face, not at all perturbed or shocked by your behavior.

"You have a day on your Visa. Do you wanna play tomorrow?"

You and Chishiya always had two days of difference on your Visa, so that he wouldn't accidentally get into the same game as you in case it would end up being a Hearts one.

This was the second time you had a breakdown on the day of your game.

"No. I have to go." you manged to say, voice strained. You sat up, hands still gripping the sides of your head, "I'll go, just..."

Chishiya looked at you expectantly.

"Don't wait for me."

"[name]."

You got up and walked out of the room quickly, a hand tapping your forearm in a repetitive order. People around you rushed to get to the cars as you walked.

One. Two. Three. Four. Four's a good number... But it has as many letters as that word-- Nevermind. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five was associated with something negative, but you couldn't remember what... Ah, fuck. Six wasn't good either. Seven? Seven was too much... Three was good.

One tap. Two taps. Three taps.

One tap. Two taps. Three taps.

One tap. Two taps. Three taps.

You arrived in front of the car that would lead you to the game when someone's hand grabbed your shoulder.

You turned around.

"Don't die out there." Chishiya said casually, smiling a little, "Not purposefully, at least."

You nodded a little. Easier said than done.

Five of Hearts.

Thank goodness Chishiya wasn't there.

"Rules: You will participate in a game of hide and seek. The seeker will immediately kill the person that comes in their field of vision. The game will end once The Seeker and one hider are left."

You tapped the glasses on your nose, testing them.

You were a hider. Just as you'd hoped.

The game arena was an abandoned shopping mall. It was large and had plenty of places to hide.

You glanced around for reactions and quickly spotted the seeker. You hid in the store closest to them, waiting for them to desperately run after the hiders. This shouldn't be too hard.

GAME, END.

Chishiya sat on the stairs of the Beach entrance, hands in his hoodie pockets. He stared into the distance, glancing at the cars that came by every now and then.

He wasn't sure letting you participate in the mental state you were in was a good idea, but he didn't want your Visa to end, either. Or for you two to get stuck in the same game.

A familiar car rolled to the Beach parking lot and Chishiya's brows shot up.

Surely, you and another person came out of the car, clothes stained by blood. Your face was covered in it too. He squinted. You didn't seem injured, the other person did, on the other hand.

He got up and walked over to you as you walked to the entrance.

"You're alive."

"Five of hearts." you exhaled, "I could've let myself die so easily."

Chishiya smiled. "But you didn't. Who's blood is that?"

"The contestants I hid behind during the last minutes of the game." you said, before heaving a sigh. You seemed exhausted. Both physically and mentally.

"Go take a shower, I'll stay nearby."

You looked at him, before looking away and nodding slowly. "Thanks. No, fuck. Thank you. Argh."

"Don't sweat it."

You both walked back into the Beach. Chishiya was relieved, and so were you, but your chest felt heavier than before.

As you clesned all the blood off yourself and changed into some new clothes, you headed out of your bathroom. Chishiya was laying on the bed, holding what looked like an old MP3. He clicked on the "back" and "forward" buttons multiple times, before sighing.

Did he... Struggle with this too?

You sat down on the bed, head hanging low.

"Feeling bad about the dead people?"

"Straight to the point."

"Wouldn't expect anything else from me, would you?"

"Nope." you said, furiously rubbing your towel on your head, before wiping your face with both your hands, "Chishiya, I'm so tired."

You let yourself fall sideways and stared blankly at your room, feeling a hand settle on your head and scratch your scalp gently.

"I know. But you can't give up." he said calmly, "We both have to get out of this place. Not just me, even though I don't really care."

You clicked your tongue. "Fucker."

He chuckled breathily. "You know it."

You sighed, slowly falling asleep. What a hard, hard evening... But you weren't alone, at-least, and your Visa was extended. By three days. How fitting. You exhaled.

You fell asleep. Chishiya watched you, patting your head gently before going back to tinkering with the MP3. He felt better knowing you were by his side. Despite the worry that remained in the back of his head constantly, he knew he had things to focus on. To get himself out of here. And preferably, you as well.

And in the midst of all this... He wasn't alone, at least.

[shyficwriter]

Temporary Home: Chapter 6

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!) Guest starring Nick Fury and Maria Hill

Summary: Peter works on cracking your shell and Rocket just still doesn't like you. Oh, and Fury pays a surprise visit and you accidentally poison Yondu- Oops!

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: I think I knew from the moment I read this post I knew I needed to include something like it in this fic, especially knowing one of my readers had also suggested somewhere that they thought it'd be cool to see how the Guardians reacted to Terran food lol

Word Count: 5,617

You came back inside through the back door more than half an hour later, having decided to run a quick coat of stain over the bed frame pieces. The sooner you applied the stain, the sooner it would dry, the sooner you could apply the varnish. Not that you were in a hurry or anything... You just got excited over having a project, that's all. You totally weren't stalling on going back in the house, or anything.

Peter was sitting in the kitchen with Gamora. The others had seemingly all dispersed by now.

Peter looked slightly disappointed. "Saved you some cookies."

You were slightly taken back in surprise. "Oh, you didn't need to."

"You bought them, I wasn't just not going to save you a couple." Peter said with an odd look. "Anyway, thought you said you were coming back?"

You grimaced slightly and accepted a biscuit from the package in Peter's outstretched hand. "I did come back... I just got caught up with something."

Peter eyed you for a moment, as if he were considering something. He tilted his head, a slight smirk forming. "Are you shy or something?"

You blinked at him. "What? No-"

"Kinda seems like you are. I mean, before you avoided us because you were all cranky and hated us, but you don't seem nearly as cranky today. Heck you even seemed to almost like us today. So the only reason I can see for you to still be avoiding us is that you're shy."

Gamora raised an eyebrow at him, but after a moment's thought, almost seemed to agree with him and turned her expression to you. She didn't think he really believed you were shy. Rather, she figured he was accusing you of being shy to make you come clean about the real problem. He did similar stuff like this all the time to trick Rocket into talking when something was bothering him. She often wondered where he learned it from, until she witnessed Yondu doing the same to Peter one day after he and Kraglin joined their group.

You shook your head at them. "No. That's absurd."

Peter nudged Gamora in the arm. "That's cute. I think she's shy."

"I'm not shy. That's dumb. My line of work doesn't exactly mix with shy." You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest in annoyance.

"Methinks you protest too much," Peter teased in a sing-song voice.

You narrowed your eyes at him before turning to Gamora. "Is he always like this?"

Gamora half smiled. "Yes... but he might stop if you told us why you keep avoiding everyone."

You sigh. "Look, it's just going to take some time. I'm not trying to avoid anyone, well, not anymore. Just... being around and interacting with a bunch of people is just... not something I'm used to."

"So you are shy." Peter said, his grin almost smug, but mostly teasing.

You sigh in Gamora's direction and she grins sympathetically. "I'm sorry about him."

Before you could respond again you heard a knock at the door.

You looked towards the sound in confusion at who it might be, because you never got visitors. However, you quickly switched to alarm when you realized you had a house full of aliens and no idea who was at the front door. You look out the kitchen window, but you couldn't see a vehicle.

They knocked again.

You turned back to Peter and Gamora. Preferably you'd want to tell them to get everyone to the cellar, but you were concerned on time and knew the curtain was open on the front door window and didn't want to risk whoever it was seeing a bunch of figures fleeing to behind the staircase to the cellar door. You directed Peter to go upstairs and make sure whoever was up there stayed and remained quiet, while you directed Gamora to head into the sitting room, close the door, and do the same while you checked the front door.

Another knock.

You looked at the window of the front door. It was the type of glass where it distorted finer features of subjects, but even with that obstacle, whoever was there seemed to be purposefully standing to the side so they couldn't be seen.

Once Peter and Gamora were out of sight you kept a hand on the knob and tentatively asked, "Who is it?" You eyed the small table by the door where you kept one of your issued guns well hidden. Just in case.

"Fury and Agent Hill. May we come in?" His tone was slightly sarcastic on the second line.

Dammit Fury. You rip the door open. "You ever heard of calling first?"

"No." Fury said flatly, then more sarcastically, "Nice to see you too." He looked around as he entered, seemingly expecting the house to be teeming with more life than it currently seemed. "Where are your charges?"

"I wasn't expecting company. I hid them," you say almost irritably, walking to open the sitting room door, telling those inside that it was alright, it was just Fury. You walk over to the stairs and look up to see Peter peering over the railing and nod to him in a gesture that meant that he and anyone else up there should come downstairs.

When you turn back to Fury he was smiling.

You pinch the bridge of your nose. Of course it was a test, and you complain as much. "Everything's a test with you, isn't it?"

"Not everything," he said. "You should have been expecting us for a weekly check-in."

"You neglected to mention that," you said, slightly embarrassed because you honestly should have expected check-ins even without being told.

"Oh. Must have slipped my mind." Fury said with a wry smile. He knew full well he didn't mention it.

You roll your eyes. "Nothing slips your mind," you confronted, turning now to Maria. She only offered a smile back that clearly said, 'Perhaps if you hadn't been so cranky last time...'

Peter came down the stairs with Mantis, Rocket, and Groot and everyone filed into the sitting room. You caught sight of Kraglin and Rocket again and still had to cover you mouth to fight from laughing before you turned away and tried to keep your face serious. This, of course was much to Kraglin's chagrin and Rocket's annoyance. Yondu noticed and gave Kraglin another strange look, which Kraglin only responded with a shake of his head and an expression that read, 'Please, don't ask.'

Fury spoke when everyone was settled. "This is just a routine check-in. So far your situation has not changed. As expected, NOVA is still trying to make negotiations on your behalf. We're just here to see how everyone is settling in, make sure there are no concerns or problems we need to know about."

"I got a concern," Rocket spoke up.

"If this is about the crib, we don't want to hear it." Maria replied semi-sternly.

Rocket deflated slightly before saying, "I have another concern."

Fury looked unamused, but before he could ask Rocket to elaborate, Rocket was already going into about how you were a dick and how you tossed him outside like a rag doll.

"You were attacking him," you said angrily, gesturing to Kraglin. "Was I just supposed to let you?" Of course the little shit would try to make you look bad to your boss while leaving out the part he played in the situation.

Rocket went on to say that you just had it in for him, and Mantis, who wanted to both try and calm the situation and also defend you, shyly spoke up and said, "Maybe she would like you better if you hadn't tried to poison her?"

Fury and Maria exchanged looks, hers a mix of startled surprise, Fury's one of surprised concern. Surely if there had been an attempt on your life from one of these people, you would have reported it. They turned back, Maria saying, "Excuse me?"

However, she was drowned out by Rocket saying, "That was after!" as if that were a valid defense. "And she wouldn't have died!"

"Yeah, she would have just shit herself half to death. So much better." Peter said sarcastically.

"Why do you care? She bit you!"

This earned raised eyebrows from Fury and Agent Hill. You purposely didn't meet their gaze, embarrassed.

Peter, who felt guilty at the way Rocket was doing you, then stood up for you, "In her defense I did almost break her nose." He caught the expressions of Fury and Agent Hill and added, "We were drunk, it was all just a misunderstanding," as an explanation before realizing he wasn't exactly helping either.

There was more bickering, mostly Rocket saying how much of a dick you were, and others scolding back that Rocket had been the one to start it, then he brought up how instead of helping untangle him and Kraglin you just laughed your ass off, and then others said more things that weren't really helping and everyone was talking over each other while Gamora pinched the bridge of her nose in embarrassed frustration and you rubbed a hand down your face.

"Enough!" Fury said firmly, breaking up the squabbling. "We are not here to listen to petty grievances." He gave the group a stern look. "First off," he looked directly at Rocket, "do not try to poison my agent again. We can just as easily put you in a cell for the duration of your stay on Earth, but I think you'd agree this is a much better venue."

Rocket grumbled something about how'd he'd just escape, but Fury ignored him.

Fury looked at you. "And you- Do try and refrain from getting into fights with your charges." He nodded towards Peter to indicated he specifically meant drunken fights and biting. His tone was as if he was incredulously scolding a child who didn't normally do naughty things, but had suddenly decided to moon traffic. He actually hadn't expected to hear of this behavior from you. You were one of his best agents. He had the humorous thought that this group's dysfunction might be contagious.

You look down and nod. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now does anyone have any real concerns? Is everyone healthy? Anyone gotten sick? Are the food rations sustaining?"

Peter spoke up, afraid that Rocket would start in again. "We're all fine here. Don't listen to Rocket, he's just cranky and still adjusting. She's been a good host."

Fury grinned slightly as he looked at you. "I'd take that as a glowing review, seeing as it came from the man you apparently bit."

You felt your face grow warm and you didn't meet his gaze. You had a feeling he wasn't going to let that go anytime soon.

Mantis spoke up again, now excitedly. "Oh yes! She's been very kind! She gave me this bear!"

Oh geez. Of course she'd bring up the bear. You covered your face for a moment and wondered if she ever put the thing down.

Fury looked at the stuffed toy in amusement. He could tell it wasn't new. It was in nice condition, but worn more than what would happen with a week's worth of use. Meaning, he felt you likely hadn't gone out to buy it, he had a feeling that it more than likely came from inside the house, which, if his suspicions were correct...

"Nice to see you're making friends." he said with humor in his voice, only briefly meeting your gaze before you broke it again.

Fury kept the rest of the visit brief, asking a few more questions before he clapped his hands together and said. "Alright, I believe we're done here. If nobody has any further questions, we'll be seeing you all next week. You know how to contact us if there are any problems-" he turned and gave a pointed look at Rocket, clarifying, "any real problems."

"Same time?" you ask.

"We'll see," replied Fury, turning with Maria towards the door when no one spoke up with any further concerns.

You frowned. Clearly he intended to make the next visit a 'surprise' as well. You probably shouldn't be surprised, but you didn't exactly like the anxiety attack he gave you with this 'surprise visit,' and you weren't looking forward to another one.

Rocket watched Fury and Agent Hill as they left, biting his tongue. He considered shouting out after him that you wanted to put them in chains, but of course he knew that him simply seeing the chains wouldn't be enough proof. If he called you out now, you'd probably just make something up, or maybe you had them hidden so if anyone went to look they wouldn't find them.

No. He couldn't say anything yet. He was going to bide his time. He had a suspicion he might find answers in the attic. Why else would you have told Groot there were monsters up there to keep him out, if there wasn't something you were trying to hide?

He only needed to find time to get up there when no one would notice.

At the door Fury pushed a button on his key fob and his vehicle shimmered into place as the cloaking disengaged. You looked unamused and both Fury and Maria nodded in goodbye as they departed.

You shook your head with a sigh and closed the door.

***

"I think that went well," Maria said as she buckled in. "No one's been killed yet."

Fury let half a chuckle and just looked at her before driving away.

***

Some time after Fury had left and everyone had supper you decided to treat yourself to some reading. You decided to curl up on the armchair, something you hadn't done since the Guardians first arrived. This was because you wanted to, definitely not to prove to Peter, who was sitting with Yondu at the table, that you weren't too shy to stay in the same room with other people without coercion.

You were sat curled in the armchair reading a horror novel when Kraglin walked into the room, catching your attention. Of course, when you saw it was him you were unable to hold back your snickers, though you tried to hide them behind your book.

Kraglin's eyebrows knitted together. "It's not that funny!" he groaned.

Yondu, who was growing more curious and amused asks, "What's so 'not funny' that she laughs every time she sees yer face, boy?"

Kraglin gives him a pitiful look, but before he can open his mouth to again beg him not to ask Peter answers for him, retailing the whole embarrassing story while giggling, to Yondu's delight as he starts laughing right along with Peter once he gets to the part about Rocket getting tied to Kraglin's butt.

This, of course, makes you laugh harder, and you're now shaking behind your book.

Kraglin looks like he wants to die before his expression switches to mischievous. Sure, you said you weren't ticklish the other day when Mantis was trying to make you laugh, but he was sure that was obviously a lie. He also knew from dealing with a bratty Peter through the years just how to teach you a lesson. Kraglin approaches you. "You think that's funny? I've give ya something to laugh at, brat!" he says, lunging for one of your feet and scribbling his fingers over the bottom.

This lasts all of half a second before you let out a high squeak, which is then followed by an "OOF!" by Kraglin when your other foot connects with his ribcage.

"Ow! You kick hard!" Kraglin whined, rubbing his ribs where you had just donkey-kicked him.

You blushed slightly, peering over your book. "Yeah, well... I suppose it's in your best interest if you don't try that again." You try to sound intimidating, but it comes out sounding more squeaky than you'd have liked.

"Yeah, no shit." Kraglin replied, still rubbing his ribs as he walked over to sit on the far end of the couch, as if afraid to sit too close to you now.

You muttered into your book, "I'm not even ticklish."

Kraglin just rolled his eyes at you, picking up the remote to turn on the television.

Peter and Yondu just kept laughing.

***

The next morning the novelty of having encountered Kraglin and Rocket tangled up had mostly worn off. Mostly. You didn't burst out laughing every time you saw them anymore, but Kraglin was still slightly annoyed that you still couldn't glance at him without cracking a smile. If you had just been happy to see him he wouldn't have minded, but because he knew it was only a result of yesterday's incident, it was slightly embarrassing.

However, it did make him feel a little better to tease you and Peter for jumping when the toaster popped.

You were buttering your toast when Yondu pulled a jar from the pantry. "What're these?" He hadn't tried much Terran food yet, aside from the few times you had cooked and when Peter beckoned him to try something, and today he was feeling adventurous. Might as well. He had the feeling they were going to be here awhile.

You look over to see him already opening the jar of pickled jalapeños and your eyes widen slightly. "Those are jalapeños. I recommend trying one if you haven't eaten them before, they're hot."

"They ain't hot, the jar's cool?" Yondu said, spearing three slices of jalapeño on a fork. Whatever it was, he was sure he could take it. It was only Terran food, after all. What's the worst that could happen?

Seeing the oncoming tragedy that was more than likely about to happen in his mouth you tensed, "No, that's not what-"

Too late. He already ate them.

It was maybe five seconds before his mistake hit him. To his credit, he swallowed, but he also immediately closed the jar. "What the hell!?" he said, looking at you as he tried to suck air into his mouth to cool it down. "What the hell are these things?! My damn mouth is on fire!" He wasn't panicking, to your relief, but he also wasn't happy.

Peter laughed at him. He had thought he remembered jalapeños from when he was a kid, his grandpa would put them in his tacos. However, he didn't try to further warn Yondu with you, wanting to see what would happen. He wasn't disappointed even seeing Yondu glare at him for laughing as he sucked air through his teeth and wiped his now running nose on his sleeve.

You look at Yondu half-apologetically. "I tried to warn you! I told you they were hot- I mean spicy, that's why your mouth burns. Um... here..." You pull down a glass and pour him some milk. "This will help."

He eyed it. "What is it?" He thought it looked like the same white liquid Peter and Kraglin would pour into what Peter called cereal, but he had never bothered to ask them what it was.

"Milk." you answered, getting a very strange look from him in return, a mix of 'What the fuck?!' and near disgust.

Peter spoke up from the table. "It's from a cow. It ain't hers, dude. It's fine."

Your eyes widen, scandalized, as you look to Peter. "Excuse me?"

He looks at you apologetically. "Sorry, I know this is normal here, but uh, on most other planets... you won't really find 'milk' ...unless you're uh, feeding a baby."

A high, "Hmmm..." is all you respond, not sure what else to say to the implication that the blue man thought you were somehow offering him your milk. Your eyes were still wide and you could feel your face growing warm at the uncomfortable information but you still offered out the glass, setting it on the counter between you. "Well this is all I have to offer for the burning. Otherwise you're going to have to wait it out." You cross your arms over your chest self-consciously.

Yondu looked like he was considering for a moment, before hesitantly reaching out to take the glass.

"Drink it slow, it will help with the burning." You then add, mildly scolding. "Next time listen."

He grumbled, but took the glass and sat down at the table next to Kraglin to drink it. Kraglin covered his mouth with his fist, trying not to laugh and looking like he wanted to say something, but Yondu glared at him, grumbling. "Not a word."

Kraglin managed to giggle out a, "Yes, sir." before returning his attention to his cereal, a new food Peter introduced to him a couple days ago that actually wasn't half bad.

Everything was fine for about half an hour or so. You finished your toast and had some juice, and the guys had finished their food as well and the four of you sat in the kitchen talking. Well, they were talking, you were mostly sitting and listening, mostly just making an effort to sit for more than five minutes so Peter would stop giving you that look that said, "Ha, knew you were shy," that he had recently taken to giving you.

Then Yondu suddenly bent slightly and held his stomach with a stifled grunt.

You raised an eyebrow, as did the other two. "You ok?" you asked, seeing his pained expression.

Yondu glared then tensed again, grunting out a "Dammit." before pushing his chair back and making his way quickly from the kitchen without another word.

The three of you shared confused glances.

Then you heard the bathroom door loudly close, and not too long after that began to hear loud noises of the... smelly variety.

Peter half-stifled a laugh, saying. "When ya gotta go, ya gotta go, I guess."

You could hear the sound of the toilet flush a bit later, but Yondu didn't return. Instead you started to hear the "smelly" noises again, followed by muffled cursing.

Gamora entered the kitchen, holding her nose. You knew that wasn't a good sign regarding the smell of your hallway, and you were only grateful it hadn't made it into the kitchen yet, though you were now less than eager to leave and risk facing it.

"Is he alright?" she asked Peter.

"He'll be fine." Peter laughed in response, receiving a look from Gamora as she sat next to him, no doubt seeking a reprieve from the odor.

A few minutes passed and he still remained in the jacks, but the smell had its own travel plans.

"Oh hell," you choke out, seemingly the first one of the four of you (aside from Gamora from before) the smell decided to assault. You motioned to Peter. "You- windows- help- please? Now?" you say, gagging as you stood and made your way to open the closest window.

"Right behind you!" Peter said, standing and quickly making to open any window in the kitchen he could find. Kraglin stood with Gamora and they left the kitchen, stating that they were going to open the windows in the sitting room and see if that might help. You could hear gagging from the hallway when they left the kitchen. Peter made his way further down the room and gagged as he opened the back door, a cloud of stink having unfortunately pooled down that way as it was the end closest to the bathroom.

He braved the stink just long enough to shout, "Damn, man! What did you eat!?" He only got a, "Oh, grow up!" in response from Yondu from behind the bathroom door.

You exited the kitchen from the other end to open the front door, coughing as your fears were confirmed and the smell was much worse outside the kitchen. You wondered if you should open the upstairs windows as well.

This thought was confirmed when you could hear the sounds of Mantis gagging at the top of the stairs and Drax asking if an animal had died in the house, then going on to confirm it wasn't Rocket as he was with him and Rocket indignantly yelling, "Hey!"

You made your way upstairs, Peter taking your lead and following to open the windows upstairs to help air the house out.

Yondu had only just exited the bathroom when you came downstairs, not looking too pleased. However, he only made it about a meter outside the door before wincing as a cramp told him he wasn't actually finished and spinning on his heels to return to the toilet.

Now Peter actually seemed mildly concerned. "Dude, you ok in there?" he called from a 'safe' distance from the door, as if anywhere was safe from the smell anymore.

There was only more embarrassing noises in response to Peter's question.

"Yondu?" Peter called out.

"Leave me alone, boy! Can't ya see I'm a little busy at the moment?!"

"I can definitely smell it!" Peter shouted back.

"I'm gonna head outside," you choke out, looking at Gamora. "Care to join?" It was less of an invitation and more of a hint. If you value air, maybe get out of the house.

"Way ahead of you dorks!" Rocket called as he ran out the front door with Groot clinging to his back, gagging.

Everyone else followed out the front door, not willing to risk walking toward the back.

"Fresh air!" Peter cried out once he was outside in such a funny way you couldn't help but chuckle and shake your head despite sharing the same sentiments.

After a couple moments of taking in the fresh air, you decided to walk around back. While you were out here you might as well fix the swing.

"Where you going?" Drax asked after you.

Before you could answer, Peter replied in teasing voice, "She's running away 'cause she's shy." Gamora elbowed him and told him to quit.

You rolled your eyes but didn't turn back, flipping him the bird. "I am not. Knock it off."

"Then you won't mind if we join you then, huh?"

You shrugged as you continued walking. "I don't care what you do." you say flippantly, turning the corner of the house.

Peter grinned mischievously. "Oh! So you won't care if I do this?" He jogged after you and all the others heard was a squeaky yip that likely came from you, Peter crying "Ow!" and you responding with, "Then quit that!"

Drax called out, "Mister Fury said no fighting!" as the rest of them followed after the two of you.

"Then Gamora, please come get your child!" is what response came from around the wall.

Drax gave a confused look to Gamora. "Does she really think Quill could be your child?"

Gamora shook her head. "No, Drax. She's just insulting Peter for acting like a child."

You glared at Peter as he rubbed his arm.

"Did you really need to punch so hard?" he asked, laughter in his voice despite the pain.

"Don't startle me next time." You warn, crossing your arms and turning back to keep walking.

Peter smirked. "Oh sure. 'Startle.' Looked a lot more to me like that tickled."

You look back to him with a glare.

Peter held up his hands in a defensive gesture and laughed, and you saw the others rounding the corner and decided to just walk away and let him live for now. Definitely wasn't because you were slightly worried he might try to prove his theory in front of all the others.

You unlocked the shed, grabbed the items you needed from where you had placed them on the workbench the previous day, and shut the shed door and locked it back up all before the others really got near. You hadn't told anyone about the bed frame yet and you didn't intend to, at least not until it was finished.

You dropped the chains by the old swing and walked back towards the shed to grab the ladder leaning against the back wall so that you could cut the old rope away from the large eye hooks drilled into the branch that had been embedded in the tree so long they were now a permanent fixture.

On your way back with the ladder Kraglin asks, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Fixing the swing," you say, not looking at him as you set up the ladder.

You grab the two lengths of chains and start to ascend the ladder when he speaks again. "Would ya like some help with that? Those chains look heavy."

They weren't. Well, they were heavy enough to support a person, but not heavy enough, or you weak enough, that you couldn't hoist them up the ladder. "I think I can manage," you say, slightly irritated. Last thing you wanted was some "Let the man do the lifting" crap.

"It's just that-"

You look sharply at him, "Just what?"

"Nothin' ma'am." His voice cracked as he spoke and you turned back to carrying the chains back up the ladder.

Rocket, who kept an eye on you the moment he saw the chains, but tried not to make a show of it, came over and stood next to Kraglin, Mantis following close behind.

"Are you fixing the swing?" Mantis asks shyly.

"Yep." you say, clipping one chain to the eye-hook with a locking carabiner.

"I'm sorry I broke it."

You don't look down, reaching up to attach the other chain as you say, "Already told you, wasn't your fault. The rope was old. Don't worry about it."

"Oh, so if she breaks something you'll replace it." Rocket said bitterly.

You climb down the ladder and look at him in annoyance. "There's a difference between the rope snapping on her, and you almost throwing the remote through the TV screen during a tantrum."

"I was not throwing a tantrum!" Rocket said indignantly.

"Close enough. Fighting with Peter over it, better?"

Rocket doesn't answer, just crosses his arms and glares at you before taking off. Truthfully, he was less mad about that and more surprised that he saw the chains were being used to fix the swing instead of being used to tie him or his team up. But this didn't mean you still weren't a dick. Just because he was wrong about this one thing, didn't mean he was wrong about you probably hiding some dark plans or something. He just had to find it. He certainly wasn't grasping at straws or anything just 'cause he didn't like you...

You reach down and pick up the wooden seat of the swing. You cut off the rope still attached to the eye hooks running through the board and repeat the same process to attach the chain as you had above.

When you were finished to turned to Mantis and said, "Wanna try it out?"

She giggled excitedly and nodded before hopping on the swing.

You smile and pick up the scraps of rope you had thankfully tossed out of swing-range and noticed Kraglin was gone. So was your ladder.

You turned to see him returning it back to where you had gotten it from and you called after him, "You didn't need to do that!"

He replied back with, "I know!"

You shook your head and started to walk back towards the shed to toss the scraps in the rubbish bin, wondering how long it might take for the house to be inhabitable again.

Gamora and Peter watched as you had finished repairing the swing and smiled. Peter internally noted that you seemed to have a soft spot for Mantis. Of all of them, her and Groot always seemed to get your softer side, even when it was obvious you were trying not to make it obvious. He grinned, sure that there were some advantages to be had from that.

By the time you had met back up with the rest Yondu could be seen exiting the house from the back door and walking towards the group, no doubt also seeking refuge from the smell.

Peter grinned cheekily and asked, "Everything come out ok?"

Yondu just glared at him before grumpily turning to you. "I think that milk stuff ya gave me went bad."

Peter spoke up, "Inside of you, maybe. Kraglin and I ate it and we're fine."

Kraglin nodded in agreement, saying he felt fine. He then suggested that maybe it was those spicy things he ate that didn't agree with him.

Your eyes widened and you crossed your arms nervously. You remembered how Rocket had attempted to poison you with the xanti-berries, and think you just realized what happened. You had accidentally actually did what Rocket had tried to do to you, to Yondu. You wince and say, "I'm sorry."

Noticing your change in expression, Yondu asks, "What?"

"I'm sorry," you say again, "I didn't even think that the milk might make you sick."

Yondu made a grouchy face but said, "Whatever. Guess I know now."

Rocket, who had been listening in not too far off came up and said, "So when I try to do it to her, I'm an asshole, but when she actually poisons him, everything's just dandy!?"

You narrow your eyes but before you can spout off Yondu speaks up irritably. "If I didn't even know it would happen, how the hell is she supposed to know, Rat?"

"Yeah, she was only tryin' to help him." added Kraglin. "Ain't her fault."

Rocket huffed and skulked away. "Whatever," he said, waving you all off, "Screw you all."

"Ignore him." Peter said, annoyance clear in his voice, and changed the subject to something less likely to piss everyone off.

Eventually you all were able to re-enter the house again without gagging.

[calpalsworld]

Got A LOT of asks about Wu and Garmadon and their shapeshifting in Ninjago Respun so heres a BIG answer instead

[spoilers for canon Ninjago lore, and minor spoilers for Respun lore since I’ll gradually explain this all in canon anyway. Only read this if you are DYING to know I guess?] [Whenever I say “we’ll talk about that later” that basically means I won’t talk about that further even if you ask, sorry D: Gotta wait for the comic to address that.] CONTEXT: The First Spinjitzu Master was SOOO strong. He was NOT supposed to exist, not just because of the eternal war between Oni and Dragon, but because sex between the two does NOT usually yield any Baby?! (Plus some other reasons ill talk about later). So like. Woaaah wtf? So.... that one baby? The First Spinjitzu Master? Yeah, he is a god! All the powers that dragons and oni have? He has them, and more.

SOME FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER DETAILS:

Dragons usually only have titles for names, so “First Spinjitzu Master” is literally his name.

He is immortal.

Oni are shapeshifters with no defined form. Dragons are shapeshifters too, but to a lesser extent (we’ll talk about that later). So the First Spinjitzu Master is a shapeshifter too. And so, humans are literally the fursona of the FSM.

He can create shit like its no big deal. He made the land, the plants, the animals, the people, the elements -- he made *almost* EVERYTHING in the realm of Ninjago (we’ll talk about that later).

Some aspects of Ninjago’s many cultures came from the First Spinjitzu Master -- from Oni and Dragon -- but other parts developed independently. In the Oni-Dragon language, “he” is a pronoun referring to Oni, and “she” is a pronoun referring to Dragons. There are other things too but that would take A LONG TIME to talk about... moving on...

HISTORY OF WU AND GARMADON’S SHAPESHIFTING AND ONI-DRAGON HERITAGE BIRTH | YEAR 0: So, the immortal Oni-Dragon named the First Spinjitzu Master, aka: God, decided to create people for his cool awesome realm. He wanted humans to be different from himself, but he also wanted a couple people who were just like him that could continue his legacy. He wanted people who could forever defend what he created. So he just mpregged himself and made two kids! Lying: He summoned them into existence, no pregnancy involved, sorry. Cries. The first he created was named Garmadon (named by himself), and the second he created was named Wu (named by his dad like a loser HAHA). Garmadon was born (created) in late winter, and Wu was born (created) in early summer. Wu and Garmadon are biologically identical to their father, half Oni, half Dragon, and immortal. But they are not as powerful as him. Beings equally strong as himself would be impossible for the FSM to create. His sons don’t have the same creation powers as him, but they have the same Oni and Dragon abilities. When Wu was born (created), Garmadon instantly chose to look almost identical to Wu. He previously had a different form that the First Spinjitzu Master designed for him, but fuck that (we call this becoming the realm of Ninjago’s first transgender person). At birth they looked and acted like they were around 3 years old. CHILDHOOD | YEARS 0-30: Wu and Garmadon’s physical forms are a conscious decision, but are also affected by their subconscious mental states. This caused them to age like MOSTLY like a normal child would... just a BIT slower. They also interacted mostly with people the same age as them, and chose to age like they did (we’ll talk more about this later). Garmadon got bit by the Great Devourer when he was 7. His eyes would look like he is really high sometimes (glow red) because of the curse, unrelated to shapeshifting. He also has a scar on his arm from the bite and the venom. It is usually very hard to scar an Oni/Dragon, but it was a powerful, long-term, magical wound. The bite caused him to become soooooooo angry and evil that he made up a Oni-persona because Onis look evil and cool. The two of them were always distracted by exploring the world, rather than questioning who they were. They just knew their father was from “outside the realm” and “half oni, half dragon.” They knew he and they could live forever, while others couldn’t, and knew they could shapeshift, while others couldn’t. But they never questioned him further, like.... they didn’t really care lol. Around 30 they looked/acted like they were around 15 years old (around 30 is when they met Aspheera btw). TEENAGE YEARS/YOUNG ADULTHOOD | YEARS 30-70: More adventuring and not caring about who they are. On one adventure, Wu got “crucified” by a village of people, Breaking-Wheel-Style on a Dharmachakra, while Garmadon watched and laughed. Eventually Wu and Garmadon met this woman on their adventures. [[Ninjago spoilers, cough cough --mystaké, --cough cough]]. She cryptically explained a few things: Dragon and Oni were at war in the past, Dragons create, Oni destroy, and currently the two species are dispersed across the realms. Wu and Garmadon’s father got mad at this lady for spilling all these beans, so she shut up about the dragon and oni shit, but still guided them in other ways for many many many many many many many many years to come. Around age 60, Wu and Garmadon looked about 30 years old. Their father passed on when they were 60, and the brothers began to diverge in the way they physically looked. Prior to this, they were near identical and relatively normal looking. My dearest apologies to those of you who love sexy 30 year old sensei Wu, buuuttttttttt, over the next decade, Wu became eldercore and wisdompilled as fuck. Meanwhile, Garmadon became a ripped 7′0 hottie (smh), who SLOWLY got older over centuries, paralleling Misako’s age. We’ll talk about Misako later. CENTURIES GO BY | YEARS 70-450: Btw, despite being really hard to scar, Wu got scars on his arms from another “crucifixion” at some point. (we’ll talk more about this later). .......More stuff happens.... not related to onis or dragons shapeshifting...... At age 450: -- oh crap GARMADON YOURE EVIL AF *banishes him*. We’ll obviously talk a LOT more about the banishment event later, ofc. Garmadon gets #pissed and so #fuck #anger #kill that he turns into his four-armed oni-persona. Wu and Garmadon know dragons. Wu hid the four golden weapons so Garmadon could never get them, and had dragons guard them. He is actually pretty tight with these dragons. They’re his friends. They were friends with Garmadon too. In the “Pilot”, “Weapons of Destiny”, Wu could’ve stopped these dragons from fighting the Ninja, but he wanted to test his students lmao. As for Oni, Wu and Garmadon (believe they) have never met a full-Oni. UP TO THE CURRENT DAY | YEAR 610. Most of Ninjago’s people know nothing about Oni and Dragons. Oni and Dragons are just mythological, often dismissed as fake. They don’t know Wu, Garmadon, and the First Spinjitzu Master are related to Oni and Dragon at all. Their origin doesn’t need explanation to most citizens. People just think, “Oh, The FSM, Master Wu, and Lord Garmadon? You mean God, Jesus, and Evil Jesus?” (Of course, the “Jesus” part is COMPLETELY non-diegetic, and they don’t actually call them that. They don’t know wtf Jesus is). I could go off about religion in Ninjago, but don’t get me started lol XD So, in conclusion, we got two immortal half-dragon-half-oni idiots that are worshipped by the average citizen. Wu is purposefully eldercore, and Garmadon is purposefully a ripped 7′0 oni-persona hottie. Post that explains rules of oni-dragon shapeshifting. That’s the lore at the moment. Any thoughts? Criticisms? Any other questions?

[hopeswriting]

Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.

Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:

Reborn on Instagram.

He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.

He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.

The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.

Reborn loves them and saves them all.

------

Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.

But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.

They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.

------

Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.

Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.

*

Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.

He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??

“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”

or:

“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”

or:

“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”

------

That’s just his Twitter only followers though.

The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.

Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.

see also:

Skull, riding his bike, both of them suspiciously wet, holding a lighter in his hand: You guys ready for this sick fire stunt I came up with?? If everything goes well I should only get second to third degree burns, let’s do this!!!

see also:

A picture of Skull lying on a roof, his arms full of snacks and his mouth stuffed with food, with police cars in the background, that says: send tips to make sure there’s always food in your fridge for when you need it the most. #midnightsnack #snitchesgetstitches #justsaying

see also:

A picture of Skull crouched in front of a body, posing, that says: don’t worry guys we’re just faking, but hypothetically, if you were to hide a body as quick as possible from here without being seen, what would you do? #hypotheticallyseriousanswersonly #hypotheticallythecopsaremaybeontheirway #quickanswersappreciated

*

Verde on Facebook.

He creates a public group with only him as member that’s basically his scientific diary.

It’s not really to invite intellectual challenging debates (though he’d be all for it if someone smart enough showed up), but he figures it’s in his best interest to make the world a less dumb place if he can.

It finds his public, though there’s only a few comments because god forbid you say something dumb or inaccurate and Verde fucking annihilates you in the comment section.

But like, in a teacher way. Like he’s genuinely trying to make you know better but he’s just ruthless at it lmao.

Verde uses a fake name and a fake everything so there’s quickly a running joke along the lines of “Imagine if it’s really the genius scientist Verde running the group and you just outed yourself as a flat earther lol”.

------

But what gets the group really popular is the in depth flames theory involving weather of all things they have to assume he came up with it all on his own because they can’t figure out to save their lives what the hell he’s talking about?

And it makes them question their sanity sometimes because Verde talks about it like it’s the most obvious thing and in the context of just about every basic aspects of life.

Cue the conspirators and their hot new take of “the aliens were among us all along and hid themselves as the WEATHER!!!” that instantly turns into the new popular meme.

That, and the transcripts posts of Verde trying his theories that nine out of ten apparently involves very unwilling participants whose life are threatened and sometimes they straight up DIE???

------

They think both of these is just him fucking with them and it’s all fictional. They want to think it is anyway.

They’re not so sure, but everyone is too afraid to ask.

*

Colonnello on Snapchat.

70% of his content is about Lal because this man is so in love and it’s like he’s a guest on his own account lol.

There’s the “Pining Hard” content where it’s just him trying to seduce Lal, to romance her and asking her out, and Lal brushing all of it off more often than not.

His followers are very invested in this “old bickering married couple type of best friends in oblivious mutual pining” real live action slow burn fic, and cheers him hard whenever Lal reciprocates the tiniest bit.

------

They don’t know the two are already together.

They think Lal brushing him off or flirting back but in an unmistakably joking/”platonic” way is just her being oblivious and not taking Colonnello seriously.

When she would just rather flirt back off camera because it’s her private life thank you very much.

Colonnello never tells them because he assumes they all know and just choose to be in on the joke.

Lal finds it hilarious whenever she goes through his Snapchat (with his permission of course) to find numerous messages of encouragement, so she never says either.

------

But one day she kind of just steals a kiss from him while he’s recording because she wanted to, and his followers lose their shit.

Lal laughs herself to tears and laughs for days.

------

The other Lal’s related content is the “Lal’s loving hours”, where he just takes pictures of her/records her doing random shit---whether it's her making a disaster out of the kitchen, or wearing three pairs of socks because her feet are cold, or beating the shit out of someone---and him doing heart eyes at the camera.

------

Otherwise it’s just him living his life and letting them in on what happens.

There’s a lot of pictures because he’s handsome and he knows it and he likes the compliments aqsdfghj.

Or videos of him going on and on about how energy drinks are really the best drink ever while doing grocery.

Or ranting videos about how bullets wounds are such a pain to deal with and showing himself patching himself up to show how it’s done (thanks??!!??).

Or him watching series and roasting the characters for their dumb decisions.

Or him commenting in real time an assassination attempt on him in the middle of the night in his own fucking home because the fucker sure is ballsy (????!!!!!!???).

It’s very popular too because of how relatable it is.

Well, most of the time anyway.

*

Viper on Youtube.

They have a DIY type of channel, mostly about fashion---what they think about the new products/clothes they bought from their favorite brand, their thoughts on the new fashion trend, their makeup/skin care routine and favorite outfits for various circumstances, or they’re often on live while going shopping.

(I just really like Fashionista!Viper okay.)

They play videos games too, thinking they’re being very good while being very average to not say they straight up suck asdfghj.

Occasionally do reaction videos too.

------

Like Reborn they hardly ever show their face. Actually they don’t show it at all lol. They wear masks to do their videos because a hood is not very reliable.

How do they do their makeup videos then you ask?

They use "volunteer" as models of course.

And by volunteers I mean the Varia qsdftgyhjkl.

------

They also have another very peculiar brand of videos that is the most popular one on their channel. The titles of these videos include but are not limited to:

“A Due Payment Of Yours Is Late? How To Hunt Them For Sport”

“A Little Bitch Doesn’t Respect Your Pronouns/Chosen Name? Step By Step On How To Make Them Shut The Fuck Up Forever”

“How To Efficiently Remove Blood And Various Others Human Residue From Your Clothes”

“Faking Your Death And Taking On A New Identity: Step By Step Tutorial”

“How To Take Over Your Friends Brains And Watch Them Prank Themselves ft. The Varia”

*

Fon on Tumblr.

His blog becomes known as a shitpost blog or a blog run by a bot when really, everything he posts is about actual, very real events that happened in his life.

Except he vague posts every time because he really wants to keep his anonymity.

He posts about the hardships of learning more and more martial arts and staying at the top of the art, and sounds like some dangerous psychopath.

“The body is such a fragile thing, isn’t it? It tends to break quite easily unfortunately. You’d think I’d know that by then, but I really need to remember it more often so I can keep enjoying myself.”

He’s talking about how he always pushes himself too much in training and ends up injuring himself.

“Everyday I dispose of them and reasserts my superiority, and everyday they come back and it’s really hard to not hurt them beyond repair.”

He’s talking about how he’s often challenged by other martial artists who don’t like him being the best and how he always has to beat them up bloody for them to give up.

He also posts about his family's live except it’s the Hibari’s family live, and he doesn’t sound more sane of mind at all.

“I made the mistake of taking Kyo with me on my grocery trip and picked on his tell-tale signs of going through a bad day too late.

But fortunately the shop is still standing and no one was heavily injured.”

or:

“It’s so heartwarming to see Kyo make friends. The brown haired kid didn’t put much of a fight but the one with the pineapple haircut has potential.

He almost managed to stab him that one time, and I can’t wait to tease Kyo about it. He’s very cute when annoyed and embarrassed.”

or:

“Often I look back to the day Kyo got his tonfa and I am always infinitely grateful for this not-so-easy-to-kill-with weapon.

I would like for him to at least finish high school first.”

Yeah it’s very often about Kyoya lmao. And no one knows for sure what in the world a “Kyo” is supposed to be???

An actual human being is NOT the most popular theory qsdfghn.

*

Lal on TikTok.

I guess?? I’m kind of running out of ideas lol, and I know very little about TikTok.

But I’m thinking she makes a series of videos where she looks straight into the camera like she’s on The Office while some bullshit or the other happens in the background.

And it’s not even always her friends or coworkers or Colonnello (yeah he has a category of his own lmao).

As far as she is concerned everyone who chooses to be a fucking dumbass in her vicinity is asking for it aqsdfghj.

------

Also has a “Doing paperwork” series, and the later at night she’s doing it, the more she’s absolutely fucking done with people not being able to do their job properly without collateral damage.

She dryly reads out loud the highlights of the reports and goes straight for their lives lol.

But as funny as it is, everyone is more interested in the very questionable out of context content of these reports???

------

Also does workout videos, as in she demonstrates how to do this one or other exercise, and if these do particularly well it has nothing to do with how people want to look respectfully at her body, of course not.

ALSO has a “Colonnello’s Loving Hours” series because you better believe this woman is also so much in love.

She records him when he’s simply existing---whether he’s snuggling besides her while they’re watching TV, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, or cleaning his guns---while looking at the camera with this tender, content expression on her face.

*

They become known as the Weather Lovers because boy, do these people like to go on about their favorite weather. Some shipping might even be involved??

It’s how their community introduces them to each other.

Cue even more chaos on their respective socials medias.

Viper’s video of their first meeting is the most popular one on their channel.

*

Yeah I know, I didn’t add the Sky Arco ladies, but I have no idea what they could do. Pinterest maybe? Or Vine? Dunno, they’re all yours guys lol.

[thatbitchassstay]

Lee Know smut #1

If you want the whole story and not just the smut scenes go to my wattpad @thatbitchassstay If its not there than they took down my account lol.

Also i wrote this a year ago please don’t judge this, if you want better writing you can look at my NCT smuts.

WARNINGS: not really smut but like kinda

You went into the bathroom. After a long day of work, you needed to take a nice long hot shower. You left the door ajar, turned on the shower, and got undressed.

Minho POV

You just got home from practice. "Y/N, I am home!" you say. when nothing happens you walk a little farther into the dorm room. "Y/N?" you don't hear anything so you keep walking.

You and Y/N had been friends and dorm mates with the rest of your friend group for 3 years now. You walked by the bathroom where you heard running water. Curious, you noticed the door was slightly ajar, you looked inside only to see Y/N naked taking a shower. You quickly hid behind the wall and blushed.

You had always liked her.

What should I do!!! you really wanted to go in there and confess, but you didn't know how she would react. You peak through the crack in the door again to see her body. "Well, you only live once..." you quickly whisper before you open the door and start to get undressed.

Y/N POV

you did not see him walk in. You only noticed when you felt the shower door open and another body step in. "Minho?" you ask "what are you doing?" his hands grab your waist from behind as he starts to kiss your neck. "Minho!" you moan. "Don't tease me like that, leaving the door ajar... plus, what would have happened if someone like chan noticed?"

You smiled to yourself. You had purposefully left the door ajar. You had liked Minho for a long time and you knew that he would not be able to hold back.

His hands ran the length of your body as his mouth moved up and down your neck and back leaving red and blue marks on you. He then turns you around so you are facing each other. He starts kissing you on the lips. He bites your lip asking for permission, you grant it by opening up your mouth little. His tongue snakes its way into your mouth. With your body pressed up against each other, you could feel him getting hard. It made you shy as you pulled away a little.

Minho POV

She pulled away a little bit. "Sorry, but if this is happening, you are going to have to get used to it. It happens quite often whenever I am around you." at the last remark Y/N blushed. "Now, where were we?" you pulled her close again and you two started kissing again. her hands grabbed the back of your neck and she threw her head back as you start licking and biting her nipple.

"Minho~" you bring your head back up to her lips. "Yes Y/N ah~?" you two begin to kiss again as you bring one hand down to her thigh and bring her right leg up to your side, her hands still around your neck.

At that moment Chan accidentally walked in on you two "Hey Minho is that--- OH MAN HOLY SHIT! I AM SO SORRY!" he ran out of the bathroom and closed the door.

Y/N POV

You felt kind of embarrassed that Chan walked in, but at least it was over with. In between kisses Minho reaches behind you and turns the water off. "We should probably stop and get dressed..." You were sad that those beautiful minutes were over but it had to end eventually.  

You both got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around yourselves. You took out you hairdryer and started to blow dry your hair. Minho patiently waits his turn by sitting at a bench looking at you, his wet hair plastered against his face.

When your hair was about halfway dry, you heard him stand up and his hands wrapped around your waist from behind. You turn off the hairdryer. "Yes, Minho?" He looks at you and whispers into your ear "Stop teasing me..." he starts kissing down your neck again and when he stops you both just stand there. in the moment. His warm breath on your neck and your hands in his hair. When chan ruins it again "Guys, are you done, I heard the shower stop?" He had his eyes closed for a second but then opened them. "Ah, I am so sorry again!" he ran out.

"leave it up to chan to ruin the mood." Minho said playfully in your ear. "Can I ask you a question?" you ask. "What?" "Does this mean-- are we a thing now?" he kissed your neck one last time and said, "Oh yea. We’re a thing."

[melonkooky]

love [jeon jungkook]

not requested

word count: 3901

genre: fluff, small angst, slice of life kinda thing, jungkook x reader

warnings: underage drinking, minor cussing

author’s note: i don’t have much to say other than the usual please ignore my mistakes and grammar errors lol. this one shot starts in high school and ends in adulthood, you’ll see what i mean when you read. sorry if this one shot is kind of a mess. but please enjoy it!!

please do not copy my work. but please like and reblog it. thank you!!!!

love (/ləv/) noun - an intense feeling of deep affection

if your mom, or dad, or friend, or anyone that you were close to had told you that you would find the one, that you would meet the love of your life within the next few years, you would have laughed and said, “yeah, right.” hell, you were like most people. you had the mindset that no one would ever love you, that you wouldn’t find someone that you could confide in, that you could love. you were convinced you would be alone.

but then you came across a boy named jeon jungkook. he was in your grade. you recognized him from previous years of school, but never really thought about him, much less looked at him. he was just another student.

but then he seemed to take an interest in you, one fortunate and faithful day. you and him were young, barely starting high school. he was nervous to say the least, but he walked up to you as you were opening your locker. you were shocked, felt shy, wasn’t sure of what to do or how to act. you haven’t really talked to boys.

the awkwardness and shyness went both ways, which ended up strengthening your bond.

you and him clicked and instantly became close friends. you and him were inseparable.

-

you hid a tiny laugh with the back of your hand, ducking your head down to hide behind the student in front of you.

jungkook next to you was laughing at you, but doing a much better job at hiding his laugh. he was staring at the board, as if he was paying attention to the teacher, but the small smile of his face told another story.

he had just roasted you. you were making fun of his corny jokes, going with the whole “your jokes are dry” scenario. and jungkook, being the young teenager he was, replied with, “you would know. your jokes are like the sahara desert.” it killed you.

only, you and jungkook’s playful bickering were interrupted by the teacher. “jeon jungkook and l/n y/n, do you guys want a seating chart?”

you say up, red faced, trying to hide another smile. “no, mrs. kim.” jungkook replied.

it was even harder after that.

-

jungkook was your other half. you and him bonded like no other. he was your rock through your hard times.

-

“i’m so stupid.” you mumbled.

jungkook looked at you with sad, worried eyes. you had skipped school, so naturally he walked to your house afterwards to check on you. he was surprised when he saw you crying. your face was red, eyes puffy, a look of totally hurt and devastation. his heart broke at the sight of his best friend being in so much pain.

“how could i actually like a stupid boy like him.” you continued, harshly rubbing your eyes with your fists.

jungkook gently grabbed your hands. he adjusted his posture on the side of your bed so that he could face you better. he leaned forward, catching your gaze. “he’s a dick.” he said, a serious look on his face.

you suppressed a grin. “he fucking cheated. he said he didn’t even like me in the first place. he just needed some entertainment.”

“and he’s an idiot for doing such a thing to you. do you want me to beat him up for you?”

you heard the joking tone of his voice, but knew fully well how serious he was.

“do you even remember your martial arts lessons?”

“hell yeah i do!” jungkook stood up and got into his stance. you saw how determined he was, but he still looked cute.

jungkook held his fists out in front of him and threw a few punches to the air. “tell me his address. i’ll take him out.” he pursed his lips, throwing another punch.

you bursted out laughing, feeling heavy weight lighten in your chest. you felt like you could breathe, function, and it felt good. you felt better.

jungkook turned as he heard your laughter and smiled, relaxing. he was proud of himself for being able to make you laugh and smile. he made you forget about your ex, even if it was just for a little bit.

-

love can be many things. it can come in all shapes and forms, no matter the time or place. and you cherished the love you began to feel for your best friend, especially after breaking up with your ex. you held onto it with a tight fist, not wanting to let it go. you just hoped that someday, jungkook would reciprocate it.

-

you wiggled in your big coat nervously as you walked up to the door belonging to the jeons’. it didn’t matter that it was freezing and snowing outside. you still walked the short distance from your house to jungkook’s, because he had told you he was sick.

you made him some soup - with the help of your mom - and hurried over. you have been there only a few times, so you were nervous. in fact, you felt a bit hot.

you knocked, adjusting yourself grip on the bowl of soup that you had so carefully carried over. a few seconds later, the door swung open, revealing the kind and warm face of his mom. she gasped, eyes sparkling. “y/n!”

your cheeks flushed warm and red. “mrs. jeon.”

“are you here for jungkook?” she asked.

you nodded. “i brought soup.”

“well, come inside, come inside.” she touched your shoulder as she ushered you inside. “it’s freezing.”

you thanked her. once inside, she helped you with your coat and then informed you that the sick boy was upstairs in bed. you hurried upstairs, eager to help your best friend and fellow crush. luckily the soup was still warm.

you knocked and entered, being quiet in case he was sick. but he was awake, and jungkook immediately smiled as he saw you enter. he looked pale, with a hint of red on his nose and cheeks. he seemed shy, probably because of your sudden appearance.

“i brought you some soup.” you presented it to him.

jungkook removed the lid and held it up to his nose. he could smell very well, but he still hummed and smiled warmly. “i can’t really smell it.” he laughed.

you gasped suddenly. “wait, you need a spoon.”

you ran back downstairs, said a hi to mr. jeon, grabbed a spoon, and ran back upstairs. jungkook laughed again, the noise coming from his mouth sounding congested and nasally. “there you go.”

you say on jungkook’s bed as he ate. you and him talked, joking around a bit.

as jungkook sipped the last bit of broth, he turned to place the bowl on his nightstand. you watched him, admiring his side profile. you were head over heels for him, there was no denying that. if only jungkook could see the way you looked at him. the love in your eyes alone could for sure tell him.

you had been staring at jungkook. you hadn’t realized. you had zoned out, and jungkook’s cheeks were darkening and turning red, not because he was sick. he was blushing. “y/n?”

“ah, sorry.” your own cheeks burned.

he smiled. “what’s on your mind?”

“just,” you paused, unsure of what to tell him. should you lie, make an excuse, or tell him? “thinking.” you finally said.

jungkook shifted his gaze away, making your feel nervous. why did he seem disappointed?

“well, you shouldn’t stay for long, y/n.” you felt a slight pang, like a needle poking your heart. but he continued, “i don’t want you to get sick because of me. then i would have to take care of you.”

although, i wouldn’t mind that, you thought. “oh, yeah.” you hesitated, glimpsing at jungkook’s soft gaze, before standing up.

you reached for your bowl, but was surprised when jungkook grabbed your wrist, holding you steady. then, he sat up and pressed his lips to your cheek. it was a quick, simple peck, and yet it was enough to make your heart race.

jungkook released your wrist, just as you turned to look at him. the warmth from his skin lingered. it felt like his fingers were still wrapped around your arm, a ghostly feeling. he was blushing and wouldn’t meet your eyes.

you weren’t sure of what to say.

“you’re responsible if i get sick, jeon jungkook.” you said, a teasing tone of voice.

“i know.” he replied, smiling.

-

eventually, the love you felt for jungkook was practically crawling underneath your skin. it was begging to be let out, released, to not be kept a secret anymore. it started to control what you do, both out of fear of hurting jungkook and out of fear of ruining the special relationship you and him had. but one day, you couldn’t keep it inside you anymore.

-

you and jungkook were chilling in your bedroom one afternoon. you and him had walked home from school. naturally, after being assigned a group project, you and jungkook were partners. and jungkook wanted to come over. of course, though, you should’ve known that he would get distracted.

jungkook was laying on your bed, his head hanging off the edge just slightly, enough to see what you were doing while you sat on the floor. you had your laptop in front of you. papers and notebooks were spread out. as you worked, jungkook made comments, watched, and ate all your snacks. maybe he was a little too comfortable.

he hummed along to the music in the background, singing along during the chorus. it would have been funny when he purposefully sang at higher or lower notes or botched the lyrics, but you were staring at him. you had been working so hard, slightly annoyed at jungkook for not helping. but in the end, you still had plenty of time to work on the project with jungkook. he knew that, and that was why he wasn’t paying attention.

perhaps it was because you already had so much love for him. but staring at him always entranced you. it was those candid moments. jungkook didn’t know that you were staring, so he continued being goofy and throwing snacks into his mouth.

suddenly, an all too familiar urge overcame you. one that always came when you were around him, in moments like this. you sighed and shook your head. now wasn’t the time.

but now you were feeling anxious, or like it was urgent, like you needed to fulfill your urge. but you were scared. what if jungkook didn’t like you back? you were on the verge of being overwhelmed by emotions. thank god jungkook wasn’t paying attention.

however, you made the mistake of glancing at him again. his skin, his jawline, his doe-like eyes, his adam’s apple, his lips… now was your chance.

without another moment of hesitation and overthinking, you turned and stood up on your knees, leveling your head with jungkook’s. he looked at you, confusion written over his face, a snack between his fingers. “y/n-”

and you pressed your lips to his after cupping his cheeks. you cut him off, afraid of what he was going to say. but then again, you couldn’t anticipate what he would say after. maybe this was a mistake.

sure, the kiss was a little out of the ordinary, like the one kiss from the movie spiderman, but it still made your nerves quiver, your insides to twist, your heart clench and race, this was something that you needed to do. it lifted weight off of your shoulders, it needed to be done if you ever were going to live.

you pulled away, avoiding his gaze, and sat down again. you were staring at your laptop, but you weren’t thinking about the project. jungkook was all over your mind. you wondered if the room suddenly felt hot, constricting. your mind was overthinking. what had you just done? were you going to lose your best friend? no, jungkook wouldn’t do that. things might, at least, be awkward.

you shook your head, finally hearing the bed creak behind you. jungkook had sat up and was cautiously moving towards the floor beside you. his cheeks were bright red, and he seemed nervous. his legs were crossed underneath him with his hands tucked in the middle. you felt ashamed in a way. but why were all your thoughts negative? you had to be positive, that’s something that your mom had been drilling into your head since you started high school.

“y/n.” his voice was calm, quiet, soothing.

you looked at him, unsure of what he was going to say.

he smiled, “spiderman.”

you poorly suppressed a laugh, a whine leaving your throat. you covered your face with your hands. jungkook wondered whether you were crying or laughing, or maybe both, but it was funny to him. “hey! why are you acting like this?”

he reached for your hands and pulled them from your face. your face was as red as his was, but you still looked cute in his eyes. you were beyond flustered.

jungkook laughed before leaning forward and kissing your lips again. things were definitely different. and things were working out much better than you were thinking. you were relieved.

-

after finally confessing your feelings for each other, nothing much changed between you two, other than now a lot of encounters had more physical affection.

jungkook seemed a lot happier after you and him started dating. your friends, as well as some of jungkook’s friends, would come and report to you that he was often smiling to himself, or laughing… basically he looked like he was in love, and they knew it was because of you.

to you, that was love. even when you weren’t around, he was still thinking about you.

but of course, with every relationship, there were a few downsides. you and jungkook had fought a few times before, before you and him started dating. but your first fight as a couple was different.

-

there was a party going on at a friend’s house. you wanted to go, as you weren’t really one to go out and hang out with people, especially at a party. you knew there was going to be some trouble involved, like underage drinking, as well as other “things”. you told yourself the moment you felt uncomfortable, you would leave.

you invited jungkook, since you were slightly scared of not going without him. you knew he would watch over you and keep you safe if need be. although, when you asked jungkook if he wanted to go, he seemed a little anxious.

“i don’t know,” he had said. “i don’t really think it’s right to go.”

you knew where he was coming from, but your mind was set. you wanted to go. “please, jungkook. i don’t want to go without you.”

“i don’t feel comfortable going to this party. we could get into a ton of trouble. if something happens, it could affect us for life.” you knew what he was talking about, but you were certain that none of those things wouldn’t happen, at least not to you, especially if jungkook were there. but jungkook was adamant about not going.

“fine. i’ll go with kensey or something.” you said, a little annoyed.

jungkook sighed, watching as you stood up from the table and walked away. he didn’t want to end the conversation like that, it wasn’t his intention.

hours later, you were arriving at the party with kensey. she was ecstatic that you asked if you could tag along, expecting you to be with jungkook. you told her everything, and she too understood where he was coming from, but kensey told you that it was good that you wanted to get out and try something new.

so, you and her hung out with some friends and partied like high school students did on a friday night. only there came one particular activity that you were practically pressured to participate in. it was a drinking game, and you didn’t want to drink as it was illegal, but many insisted that it would be okay and that it wouldn’t get too far.

in summary, you got drunk. and drunk you were yelling at yourself for drinking, talking about getting in trouble with your parents. your friends laughed about it, until kensey wondered if that was your cue to leave.

while kensey was dragging you out of the house, telling you to lean on her, you had called jungkook. “jungkook.” you slurred. “why aren’t at the party?”

he sounded disappointed, but you didn’t pay any attention. “y/n, why do you sound like that? don’t tell me…”

you pouted. “please don’t be mad at me.”

kensey glanced at you, before taking your phone. “hi, this is kensey. i’m taking her home, don’t worry about her.”

you don’t remember much about what she said after that because you were suddenly thirsty and tired, all at the same time. luckily for kensey, you weren’t too much to handle. you still tried your best to understand what was going on and where you were going.

by the time you and kensey reached your house, jungkook was standing by the front door. “i can take her.” he said.

jungkook bid a goodbye to kensey and helped you inside, quietly as to not wake up your parents. he was thankful that you stayed quiet until he brought you into your bedroom. “jungkook,” you spoke, “when you did you get here?”

he was still disappointed in you, “just now. kensey brought you home.”

you sighed, sitting up to look at him. “why are you standing all the way over there?” you pouted.

jungkook didn’t reply for a while. his jaw clenched and unclenched as he wondered what he should say, how he should react… “i’m mad at you.” he finally said.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “why?”

“why? you got drunk, y/n.” he was close to yelling, but quickly changed his tone to a whisper. he was worried about your parents waking up.

“i didn’t mean too! it was an accident.”

“how do you accidentally get drunk?”

you shrugged, cheeks going red. “i don’t know. my friends said everything would be fine. they said it wouldn’t hurt.”

your boyfriend sighed tiredly, feeling exhausted. he would have been fast asleep, seeing as it was after midnight, but he was worried about you, and waiting for a text that said that you got home safely. you calling him nearly scared him, until he heard your drunken voice.

“y/n, you can’t let friend pressure you into doing those things.”

“i knew what i was doing, jungkook. you’re not my parent. i don’t need you to constantly be by my side, watching over me like a hawk. i was completely safe and okay.” you spoke harshly.

jungkook was hurt by that statement. he pursed his lips, averting his gaze to the rug on your floor. with a slight nod of his head, he said, “alright then. good night.” and turned to leave.

your eyes widened. you immediately regretted saying those things. you didn’t mean them. you had hurt jungkook’s feelings, and now you were worried about him leaving. without any further hesitation, you stumbled off of your bed, nearly falling, and grabbed his hand. jungkook was surprised by how fast you had moved, especially in your state. he turned as he released your doorknob.

you looked up at him, eyes full of regret. “i’m sorry.”

jungkook relaxed and wrapped his arms around you. he rested his chin on top of your head, even placing a little kiss on it. “it’s okay.” he sighed. “i just can’t not think of all the things that could go wrong at parties. someone could have hurt you, taken advantage of you, you could do something you’ll regret,” there was a long, heavy pause. “someone hotter than me could have stolen your heart.”

you laughed, it was a small, still sad laugh, but it lightened the mood. “there is no such person that is hotter than you.”

he laughed too, holding you closer. after sharing a silent, intimate moment, jungkook suddenly pulled away. “now go shower. you stink.”

“hey!”

-

who would’ve thought that you and jungkook would last so long, to have such a strong bond that enabled you and jungkook to stay together.

now, many years later, here you were. your life felt complete. you felt satisfied. you have a job, you have a house, you have a husband, and you have a child.

“mamma, mamma.” your daughter called.

she jumped onto the bed, climbing between you and jungkook. jungkook was still asleep, whilst you woke up as soon as your daughter opened the bedroom door. you sighed into the pillow. “my love, what’s got you so energetic in the morning?”

she laughed. “i’m hungry.”

you sighed again. “you are just like your father.”

“what about me?” jungkook asked, his voice deep and laced with sleep still.

“she got her appetite from you.”

“that’s a compliment.”

you rolled your eyes and sat up. your daughter wrapped her arms around you, climbing into your lap, before poking jungkook’s back. “daddy, get up.”

he flipped over finally. despite having bedhead that covered a part of his eye, and a lopsided, tired smile, he still looked attractive. he reached out, poking the little girl in her stomach. she wiggled around in your arms, her dark hair becoming even messier than before. her laugh was music to your ears. it was amazing how much she looked like jungkook.

“alright, i guess i’ll start breakfast.” you said, removing your daughter from your lap.

she immediately climbed into jungkook’s arm, laughing as he tickled her some more. you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. you watched them with a fond, loving look in your eye.

sure you had dreams of what your family was going to look like, but you never could feel what having a family would be like. it was until you started one with the man of your life that you felt special, like your family was special. and that was the beauty of it.

love didn’t feel anything like how you felt now in this moment.

you didn’t feel love until you were happy with yourself, until you were successful, until you met the love of your life, your soulmate, until you brought a bundle of joy into the world.

that was love.

suddenly, you were brought out of your head, your thoughts interrupted. you saw jungkook looking at you. he was standing up, bending over slightly to look at you. your daughter was no where to be found.

“huh?”

he grinned and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i asked if you wanted me to cook breakfast.”

you shook your head, hurrying out of bed. “i don’t trust you in my kitchen.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

you turned and looked at him, a teasing smile forming on your face. “run bts! 2017.” then you made a dramatic pause. “episode twenty.”

jungkook’s face reddened, recalling the moment when he showed what he had attempted to make. the food was stuck to the plate. in fact, he was able to flip the plate upside down, and the food remained still. it was a funny moment, to say the least.

[tea-rexxia]

lol. i missed day 3/4/5/6/7/8/9 whoops.

3: thinspooo. i love her flat belly. thats always been my biggest concern about my own body :/ and she looks so cute in high waisted undies ! i always look like a grandma cow. sigh. her boobs r the perfect size, her arms r tiny and her jawline is gorg. i wish i looked this pretty while smoking in my underwear. i dont even wanna see what i look like doing that .....

4: my greatest fear about weightloss.. hmm. i guess people noticing too much, like my mom. n like being genuinely concerned and then fuck thatd b bad. im also just afraid ofnlosing self control after doing so well and then gaining evvverrythinngg baacckkkk.

5: ive wanted to lose weight for 8 years. since i hit puberty prrtty much. ive always envied skinny girls. i never was one. i want to be skinny and pretty. i want to wear anything and feel beautiful. i want to eat a tiny tiny amount and be full and be dainty and cute and lightweight. i hate food. i hate what its done to me. i fucking hate it. im losing weight for me because im an independant ass woman and i know i can do this if i rlly set my mind to it.

6: ugh yes i binge. who doesnt *cries* skinny girls dont. i binge because for a second i really believe that i dont care and no fucks r given. i make excuses in my head on why i dont need to starve. “you’re so average! u can totally have that giant quesorito from chipotle and eat the whole thing, ur fine!” then afterwards ana is like “biiitch u rlly did dat? ur so fat, look at urself.” then i proceed to eat whatever i want that day because i already did. i give up on that day and tell myself ill starve tomorrow. terrible cycle, i do not reccomend.

7: i think my parents have always known that ive wanted to lose weight/tried to. its not that they don’t care, they’re pretty laid back about my random diet changes. but they definitely dont expect me to have an ed and id like to keep it that way.

8: my workout routine. lol. aint even a routine. more like a “workout when i feel like it” tbh sometimes id rather starve for long period than workout. ive never “liked” working out. only sometimes. i walk, i walk everywhere, all the time. sometimes i run but i like to smoke so eh, not too fun. i have an ab workout that i do (try to do it often ish) thats amaazzing and great and has already been improving my bodii. ill post it!

9: lol negative weight comments? all the time. growing up, when i hit puberty, my boobs were a 34DDD. i hid my body under large clothes that realistically made me look larger. people would call me a cow and make fun of me. ill never forget that. my mom, my sister, my grandfather, and my boyfriend always make comments about what im eating, if i am, and i dont think its purposefully them trying to hurt me, but they dont know that it does. and its hard to tell them that. my boyfriend will take the plate from under me, he’ll say “you don’t want that” when i want to order something xtra, he’ll say “you don’t need that” i mean cmon... then u say “i love ur body. nothing wrong with it.” likeeee dont say that shit to me then. bc ur my biggest influence lowkey. in negative and positive ways, like i wanna b thin and pretty for u but then u say stuff to me like dis? wut do i do wit dis??? thats rlly rough and always makes me feel super low low low and down. and he mentions other girls that r skinny or people that dont eat and im like heeyy im over here starving my goddamn self and im losing NO WEIGHT WHATSOEVER so dont tell me about people like that bc it doesnt help me at all😞

ima go cry now lol omg.

drink ur water babes. thanks for reading if u did :/

[izzy-b-hands]

Dancer Chapter Five

We had a whirlwind of a last chapter, but we can’t breathe easy just yet! Hold on tight folks, nothing is ever as easily solved as we (or Eggsy) might hope lol.  And there’s still a lot of work ahead for Eggsy and crew. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

“Freddie Mercury used to own this apartment,” Boniface said as they stepped inside. “At least, that’s what the realtor claimed. Not the only reason I got it, but a nice thought, isn’t it? To be staying somewhere he might have, when he vacationed out here?” 

Eggsy nodded. “I’d like to think it’s true. Pretty cool, all around.” 

It was legitimately cool, still velvet on the drapes and furniture, but all yellow and light blues and greens rather than the harsher gold and black of Boniface’s office and home near the club. A warm, airy sort of place to come home to. 

Boniface’s eyes were still red, but he had stopped crying, and he smiled as he showed Eggsy around the apartment. 

“Go on and set your things in the room, then maybe we can sit and have a drink? Try and relax a bit after all that nonsense,” Boniface said, then scoffed. “Fucking Barrett.” 

“Yeah,” Eggsy replied. “Can I use the restroom first, just quick?” 

“Oh goodness, of course,” Boniface said. “I don’t blame you, that...situation has left me feeling a bit unsettled too. Luckily, we have two bathrooms here. There’s one just down this hall, you take that one, and we’ll meet back in the living room here, yes?” 

Eggsy nodded, and moved as quickly as he dared to the bathroom, keeping his bag with him, only rooting the earpiece out of it until he’d shoved hand towels under the doorway to hopefully keep Boniface from hearing anything. 

Even so, he made sure to whisper. “Merlin. He isn’t at all what we think, there’s so much I have to tell you. I’m going to type up a report when I get back to my apartment, okay, but for now...I think I can get him to work with us.” 

“Why are you whispering?” Merlin asked. “Are you...at his?” 

Eggsy sighed softly, and nodded out his frustration. “Yes, I am. He...look, it’s too much to tell you now. Just trust me on this. And I’m almost one hundred percent certain I can convince him to let us help him get rid of the formula, rather than selling it. And in the process, Kingsman can help fund some charitable work Boniface has been desperate to do! It’s a win all the way around!” 

Merlin was silent, then sighed. “Okay. But you have to tell me more of what’s going on as soon as you’re able, do you hear me?” 

“I will, I promise,” Eggsy replied. “I’ve got to go now, he’ll be waiting for me.” 

“Are you safe? There, I mean,” Merlin asked. “If you need back-up, I’m always nearby.” 

“I’m safe,” Eggsy said, and he knew it was true. Boniface might be many things, but he wasn’t a villain. He was just a hurting man, trying to find a way out of where he was stuck.

Eggsy knew how that felt. Even if he wasn’t falling hard and fast for the man, he’d still have to help him, because he knew how it was to be in that spot. 

“Talk to you later, Merlin.” 

“Very well.” 

He replaced his earpiece into its hiding place in the bag, used the restroom quickly, then washed his hands and moved the hand towels back to their appropriate shelf. He stopped for a moment and studied his stomach, still stained with his and Boniface’s cum. He grabbed a hand towel back, and cleaned his stomach off, then dropped the hand towel into the labeled hamper near the sink. 

He dropped his bag into Boniface’s bedroom, then went back out to the living room. 

Boniface was sat there, a glass of wine in his hand, and another sitting empty on the coffee table by the bottle of white wine, waiting for Eggsy. A pair of light yellow sweats and a sweatshirt were on the couch as well, with a pair of lavender boxer briefs set on top of them. 

“For you, to keep if you’d like. I figured you might want to be in something more comfortable than your club clothes. I always try to have things on hand for employees, just in case.” 

Eggsy picked the clothing up, and smiled. “Thank you. Not that I hate the shorts or anything, I just get cold.” 

Boniface laughed, and his eyes absolutely sparkled. “Understandable. Kick off your shoes and change, get comfortable. You’ve got the next few days off, per me, for helping me out like that tonight.” 

“Wasn’t anything big,” Eggsy said as he took off the platforms, a different pair than the ones that were still in the bedroom of Boniface’s house near the club. He’d have to get those later, he figured. “Finally got a chance to use those skills, you know? Might have made my dad proud.” 

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” 

Eggsy’s heart dropped, but he hid it as best he could. “He is. Is it that obvious?” 

Boniface shrugged. “Maybe it’s a thing among those of us who’ve lost parents. I could just tell. How, if you’re comfortable saying...” 

“Military operation gone wrong,” Eggsy replied. “My mum fell apart once he was gone. I was a mess for the longest time, you wouldn’t have believed it. Stealing cars and shit. Was fun though, that. At least until you get caught.” 

That wasn’t the exact truth, but it was close enough, and if this went well, he could tell Boniface the full truth later. 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Boniface said softly. “Of your father, and of who your mother was. That can’t have been easy to deal with, growing up.” 

“Been easier if my step-dad wasn’t a right abusive prick,” Eggsy scowled as he continued to undress. “But it’s in the past now. And I’m much better off than I was then. A better person, too.” 

Boniface studied him with gentle eyes. “I’m sure you were always a good person. Just takes time and growing up to reveal it.” 

“How old are you anyway, if you don’t mind my asking?” Eggsy asked as he finished changing and settled on the couch by Boniface. 

“29,” Boniface replied. “But I feel a lot older, sometimes, silly as that might sound.” 

“Doesn’t sound silly at all,” Eggsy said. “I’m 28, but...” 

“Life ages us faster than we deserve sometimes,” Boniface murmured. 

Eggsy nodded. “It does. Speaking of life...you said, if there was another way out, other than selling the formula, you’d take it.” 

Boniface finished his wine, and nodded. “In a heartbeat. Especially if it meant finding a way to get rid of the lab too. But how else will I fund the home?” 

He took a deep breath. He was about to purposefully blow his cover, and he had to hope like hell he was right about this.

Or he might not survive it. 

“I know of a way.” 

Boniface frowned, but his eyes were bright. “How?” 

“This is hard for me to say,” Eggsy started, and he twisted the edge of the sweatshirt in his hands out of nerves. “I’m. Not who you think I am. But it isn’t bad, I promise!” 

Boniface looked shocked, but nodded. “Okay. Who are you then, Wyn?” 

“My name is Gary Unwin, but I go by Eggsy,” Eggsy answered. “I’m an agent with a spy organization called Kingsman. I was sent here to either steal the formula, or otherwise ensure it wasn’t sold to anyone who could use it. I didn’t intend...” 

‘on falling in love with you’, Eggsy finished in his head before continuing. 

“...This mission has turned into something entirely different than I thought it would be, but I’m glad for it. Because at Kingsman, we can help you. We can get more agents out here, help dismantle the lab, destroy the formula and all research for it, and fund your home for at risk boys.” 

Boniface had tears in his eyes again. “You aren’t lying, are you?” 

Eggsy shook his head. “This is real, I promise I wouldn’t lie to you; unless it’s for the job, I try not to lie to people I love.” 

The last bit came out before he could stop it, and he bit his tongue. 

“That...I’m sorry. We’re just getting to know each other, and here I am, and god I’m babbling now and-” 

Boniface’s hand on his stopped him. “I love you too. I know, it feels too early to say, but...I can’t explain it. But I do love you. And I know you love me too and that feels so good I can’t fully tell you how wonderful it is. But I need proof, of the rest. Do you have anything you can show me, to prove this is as real as I want it to be?” 

“Do I ever!” Eggsy smiled, and pressed a kiss to Boniface’s cheek before dashing back to the bedroom for his bag. 

He ran back to the living room, and yanked the earpiece from its hiding place. “Merlin, can you hear us? I’ve got Boniface on with me, told him everything!” 

“Hello, Mr. Gagneux,” Merlin replied. “I take it my agent has just blown his cover to see if you would like to accept our help in getting rid of that pesky world-destroying formula?” 

“He has,” Boniface said. “But I’m so glad he did. Sir, this is-it’s everything I could have ever dreamed of. I can end this madness without anyone getting hurt.” 

“Long as Barrett doesn’t come back,” Eggsy remarked. “But I think we scared him away.” 

“Barrett?” Merlin asked. “Not Barrett Palmer, you don’t mean?” 

“One and the same,” Boniface said. “You know of him?” 

“Do I know of him? The bastard has nearly killed some of our best agents!” Merlin thundered. 

“Merlin, hold on,” Eggsy said. “What is this about? I mean, yeah, he held the club hostage today to try and get the formula, but we scared him off. I’ve never heard of him until today.” 

“Because I hoped you never would,” Merlin said brusquely. “He’s a bogeyman, a nightmare on two legs. A pedophile, murderer, trafficker of drugs and sex and anything else he can pay off the local PD and every other agency under the sun to ignore. He’s got webs all over Europe and into the Americas, he’s is scum, but he is some of the richest and most influential of the scum. It means he’s nearly impossible to catch, and to beat.” 

“Okay, but like I said,” Eggsy scoffed. “He got told not to come back unless he was prepared to pay for the formula, and he made it clear he wasn’t interested in that, so we made it clear it wasn’t up for grabs.” 

“Eggsy,” Merlin scolded. “When has something like that ever stopped a man like Barrett? People like that...he doesn’t care, and you’re in danger, all of you. We need to move, fast. Mr. Gagneux, the club will need to be shut down. Construction, water leak, whatever story you have to manufacture, do it, but close the club. That’s your patrons and the people in town as safe as we can manage for right now.” 

“Fine enough,” Boniface said. “Then what?” 

“Then I, and whatever other agents I can scrounge up, probably just Galahad and Tequila for now, Roxy is still looking after Tilde for you, Eggsy, and-” 

“Tilde?” Boniface asked, and frowned. 

There was a pause, then Merlin sighed. 

“Eggsy...have you not explained things?” 

“Hadn’t really had a chance,” Eggsy murmured. “Was going to.” 

“Do it now,” Merlin said softly. “Or I will. There’s no room for secrets, especially in times like these.” 

“You’re married,” Boniface whispered. “I might have guessed.” 

“Yes, but we-it-it’s not been working out and we were probably-I mean I don’t know, but-” Eggsy fought for a word to get grounding on, but everything was sand in his mouth.

“Can I assist?” Merlin asked. “Roxy had meant to call you anyway, on Tilde’s behalf, because Tilde is quite upset with herself when she doesn’t need to be. It’ll all work out, frankly, she just doesn’t know it yet.” 

“What on earth are you on about?” Eggsy asked. 

“Ah. Yes, well, Roxy and Tilde revealed, or rather, came to me as if I’m some Agony Aunt, and told me that they’ve been sleeping together since before you left. All those ‘girls’ weekends?’ Yeah. They’re both absolutely ashamed and upset with themselves, thinking you’ll be upset beyond belief-” 

“And you’re here fucking me,” Boniface interrupted. “...did you both know you were each gay when you got married? Or bi, or pan, or however you identify?” 

“No,” Eggsy said slowly. “We did not. But maybe we should have waited on that, as it happens, and then we might have found out and not bothered with the wedding at all.” 

“I did think they were rushing into it,” Merlin muttered. “Didn’t want to say anything, or be rude, but young love forgets to take its time sometimes, you know? And now look where it’s landed us.” 

“So, all we really have to do is come out to each other?” Eggsy asked. “And figure out the divorce proceedings, I guess. I presume that’s her plan?” 

Merlin sighed so deeply it sounded his lungs might deflate. “She’s been debating it over ice cream and movies with me for five weekends in a row now. I’ve put on at least a good few inches as a result, I’m sure.” 

“Merlin.” 

“Yes, sorry, sorry. Just been a lot, you know. Both of you, going through it, and here I am just...I love you both, but I’ll need a mini-break after this, let’s just say that, hm? But first, to saving relationships and the world,” Merlin said. “I’ll arrange for a phone call between you and Tilde, on this earpiece, so the line can’t be hacked. In an hour, maybe?” 

“That’d be fine,” Eggsy replied. “I think I can prepare by then.” 

“We have wine,” Boniface whispered, but Merlin apparently heard him crystal clear. 

“Oh good. That’ll help. I mean, once it’s done, you both can get on with it, you know? Still be good friends, hell, go on double dates once all this is over, you just have to do this one final difficult thing.” 

“And save the world,” Eggsy reminded him.

“...and that, yes. Now, speaking of, here’s the game plan: Mr. Gagneux, tomorrow, you announce the closing of the club. That should bring Mr. Palmer out of hiding, to try and find you or just show some muscle by breaking into the club, if he thinks that’s where the formula is. Where is it, by the way?” 

“At the lab in Switzerland,” Boniface replied. “I didn’t want it to be able to be found out if it was sent via email or whatever, so whoever bought it would have to pick up a copy of the research paperwork and everything like that at the lab.” 

“Switzerland?” Merlin groaned. “I don’t have enough agents for this. But that’s fine, it’s fine, we can pull this off. I’ll send Agent Tequila to you, to keep an eye on the club. Galahad and uh...Galahad, Jr., aka Eggsy here will need to go to Switzerland and be protection until we can shut down the lab, and ensure that no one working there has copies of the formula they might try and sell.” 

“Sounds easy enough,” Eggsy said. “Which means it really isn’t, right?” 

“Right,” Merlin muttered, and he sounded exhausted. “I mean...some of it depends on Palmer. If he doesn’t come out of hiding like we expect to flaunt about and try and steal the formula outright, then it might be easier. Tequila keeps an eye on the club, you and Galahad go to Switzerland and shut down the lab, once that’s done-” 

“Evan,” Boniface interrupted. “I’d want him to have the club, once this is all over. I trust him and Tony to run it well, to keep the dancers safe.” 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Merlin said. “Get all of this done first, and after if we can assure Barrett and no one else will be coming after the club in revenge once they learn the formula is gone, then we can talk about who keeps it and if it reopens. And Eggsy, I still want that write-up you mentioned earlier, any details you haven’t told me now, get them in it. We need all the information you have if we’re to even try and do this right.” 

“Right,” Eggsy nodded. “Tomorrow then?” 

“Tomorrow,” Merlin said. “And you’ll have Tilde on the line in an hour exactly, so be ready.” 

“I will be,” Eggsy said, and disconnected the call, then rubbed at his face with his hands. 

Boniface handed Eggsy the empty wine glass. “Here. Not to get drunk on, mind, we certainly can’t do that now. But a bit of liquid courage.” 

“I shouldn’t even need it,” Eggsy muttered as he poured himself some of the wine, sweet in scent and taste. “I mean, it should be easy. Should be. Should take a weight off of both of us, in fact.” 

“Maybe it will be,” Boniface said. “You can’t know until you do it, and you both owe that to each other. Especially since I’d imagine you both want each other to be happy, yes?” 

“Of course,” Eggsy replied. “All I want is for her to be safe and happy and healthy. She’s a wonderful person...deserves the world, and everything she wants. I just can’t give that too her. Maybe Roxy can, I suppose. If she’s willing to maybe give up the field, just work behind the scenes like Merlin.” 

He reached for the bottle again as he drained his glass, but Boniface’s hand stopped him. 

“I need to tell you something,” he said softly. “Since we’re sharing secrets, getting everything out in the open.” 

“Okay,” Eggsy said slowly, and moved his hand from the bottle. “What is it?” 

“Boniface Gagneux isn’t my real name,” Boniface muttered. “I made it up to protect myself in case anyone should ever come looking for me, not that they would, but...insurance. Just in case. No one knows that, not even Evan or Tony.” 

“I mean this with all the respect in the world,” Eggsy said. “But no shit, that isn’t your real name.” 

Boniface raised a brow at him.

“You’re Scottish, with maybe just a slighter accent now, but very definitely Scottish, yet you have the Frenchest name I’ve ever heard. If you were looking to keep people off of your trail, that’s the way to do it, but I sort of figured it had to be a chosen name for whatever reason, not your actual name.” 

Boniface broke down into giggles. “God, it really is a bit much, isn’t it?” 

Eggsy shrugged. “I’m sure there’s worse in the world. It seems like a fancy club owner’s name though, I’ve got to give you that.” 

He joined in the laughter then as Boniface nearly cackled. 

“It feels so good to finally tell someone. To finally have a way out of all this,” Boniface said. “I figured I’d be stuck with all of this forever. I wouldn’t mind being stuck in Ibiza forever, of course. Not sure anyone could say no to that.” 

“We could come back and visit,” Eggsy said. “So long as it’s safe for you, of course. But you still haven’t told me your actual name yet.” 

“Ainsley. Ainsley Dunn. Which isn’t much better, maybe. Always been told I look like a Thomas,” Boniface, or rather, Ainsley, said, rubbing at the sides of his face. “What do you think?” 

If he had to describe how he felt it in the moment, the closest he could get to it was how he had felt at first with Tilde. Before the marriage, before the incompatibilities had started to show up, when they were still having fun and not worrying about anything else. The difference here, was he was learning everything about the man at once, and he’d have to tell him the same. More importantly, he wanted to, was eager to. He’d had that only once or twice with Tilde, even as he introduced her to his friends and met with them. But it never had gone beyond that, to talking about his past, only ever looking forward to his future and ‘princely duties’ that he couldn’t, and admittedly wouldn’t, complete. His heart swelled in his chest and it took a moment to find his voice again.

“I think Ainsley fits you well. A gorgeous name for a gorgeous man.” 

Ainsley blushed, and the color reminded him of a particular sort of rose the palace gardeners planted. He ought to find some and buy them for Ainsley, was the mental note he made. 

“You’re much too sweet,” Ainsley giggled.

“I’ll give you a cavity.” 

“And I welcome it,” Ainsley replied, gesturing for Eggsy to move closer to him.

“Even if that means some pain?” Eggsy asked as he snuggled close to him. 

“All relationships have pain, even if it’s just the occasional stupid conversation over things that don’t matter,” Ainsley said. “I’ve not gotten to experience that much, but I’ve seen it with others, and the sweetness always outweighs those little pains. So long as it’s never anything bigger, anything deal-breaking...root canal-causing, shall we say.” 

Eggsy nodded. “How did I let it get that way with Tilde?” 

“You still love her as a friend, yes?” 

Eggsy nodded again. “Always.” 

“Maybe you just needed more time to determine the sort of relationship you actually both wanted and needed. Sometimes, we don’t know we need that until it’s too late. Not a big deal, but still something to be dealt with or, to keep with the metaphor...root canal time.” 

Time passed faster than he wanted as he stayed at Ainsley’s side, resting and watching the gorgeous view from the living room window, their conversation dropped, simply sitting in the comfort of being close. 

Then, the ear piece buzzed. 

“Take the bedroom,” Ainsley murmured, and hugged him gently. “Remember, you’re both doing this for each other, hard as it feels, so you can be your happiest, like you both want. I’ll be waiting here for you.” 

Eggsy picked up the ear piece, and headed for the bedroom. Maybe it would be like a band-aid, quick and easy.

He could only hope.

[neshabeingchildish]

06. Dust Yourself Off & Try Again

A/N: So, I FINALLY figured out what I wanted to call A Chasper Fic. It’s gonna be called “Determined.” Also, because my storytelling is traveling faster than the episodes, the story is only gonna be canon up to the musical episode. Everything from here on out gets to be 100% fabricated, but I’ll still try to be as realistic and responsible with the story as possible. Thanks for reading.

Dust Yourself Off & Try Again

They stopped by the bakery on their way to Junk N Stuff. Jasper ordered a box of donuts for everyone. She just grabbed a green tea smoothie. He tried to get it put on his ticket, but she was so adamant that he gave up. Must've been her fight with Henry that put her in such a bad mood. Now, he was feeling a way too. Why was Henry able to affect her this much? Did she have feelings for him? Was it a lovers' quarrel? Honestly, she had been having dreams about Henry, not him. But, by the time Jasper found that out, he had already tethered emotional importance to winning Charlotte's heart. He wondered if the idea of her and Henry would always be in the back of his mind. Or worse.. the back of her mind.

They arrived and Henry approached only to be met with Charlotte's hand halting him. "Don't," was all she said and all she had to say. He noticed the seriousness in her face, swiftly turned, and left her alone. Jasper sighed and went to find his change of clothes. They kept some there in case things got messy and inexplicable to their families. He kept the most, as he generally had the most incidents somehow.

Whenever he got back, Charlotte was gone. "Where's Char?" 

"Went home sick," Henry said.

"Oh. Okay." Jasper messaged her. Heard you're not feeling well. Hopefully that changes soon. Let me know if you need anything. 

To Henry, he wondered, "What happened between you two this morning?"

Henry looked up from his phone and asked, "Hmm?"

"She was in a bad mood all morning and I know that it wasn't because of me… At least I hope it wasn't."

Henry waved a hand and said, "Yeah… she got all bent out of shape because I was looking out for you." Jasper furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head. "Come on, Dude. I know that you said you didn't like her like that or whatever, but in the past few weeks it's been obvious that you were lying. You like her. You know it. I know it. She knows it. And, I just wanted to make sure that she doesn't take advantage of that. She doesn't get a lot of attention and I wanted to make sure that you stay safe through this phase."

Jasper folded his arms and raised both eyebrows. "Okay. As you know, I sometimes get lost in a lot of information. It sounded like you said that you saw that I liked Charlotte and decided to defend me to her, despite the fact that she hasn't done anything to make you defensive of me. Is that about it?" Jasper sounded… mad. Henry was a little bit thrown off by how much.

"When you say it like that, you make me feel bad," Henry said.

Jasper took a deep breath and and said, "I'm gonna man the store." 

"Jasper, are you mad?"

"A little bit, Henry!" He snapped. Sounded like a lotta bit, but.. "I don't understand why you thought that was okay."

"Because we're all friends?" 

Jasper nodded and said, "Well, you were a great friend to us today." It was clearly sarcastic. Henry made a face, but Jasper didn't see it. He was already headed to the elevator. Charlotte had texted him back.

Charlotte: Dude, I'm fine. Chill out. Lol. TTYL.

He read it multiple times. It felt like old Charlotte. Like, before he was trying to impress her… before she was impressed. He didn't want to say that he talked to Henry about her, because he wasn't sure if that would help or not. 

So, he simply replied: Don't mean to be so pushy. I just care about you. I also trust you. I wanted to let you know that. I'll give you some space to feel better. 

Charlotte read Jasper's text and felt bad. He definitely noticed her tone. She could tell from that "I trust you," that he also probably talked to Henry about their disagreement. But, he was giving her space and that was what she honestly needed at the moment. 

That was what they were still having whenever Frankini placed a musical curse over Swellview…

.

What an adventure!

“Honestly, it wasn’t all that bad. You have a really pretty singing voice,” Jasper said. “And I’m not just saying that to get something out of you.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Good. Because that would be manipulative.”

“It certainly would!” He said and tried to change the subject. They only talked for a little while, and she eventually went home by herself, again. Charlotte had gotten pretty good at successfully not spending any time alone with Jasper since her revelation that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to… well… to give him ideas about them. If they were ever alone, it was at work, and she quickly got Henry or Schwoz into the fold. Jasper wasn’t necessarily deterred by this; because he blamed Henry and his big mouth for her even reacting this way. However, he also didn’t want to be the creepy guy who couldn’t take a hint, like he was doing with Patina whenever she was purposefully avoiding him.

So, he tried to wait and watch for a natural opening where he could slide in and maybe convince her that whatever she was worried about, she didn’t have to be. His birthday recently passed, and she’d given him a backpack with a bucket in it, and one of those fun popup birthday cards with a cowboys on horses theme. He was super excited about it. He tried to be cool, but, “A bucket??? AND a backpack??? A BACKPACK WITH A BUCKET INSIDE???” 

“I know that you aren’t as into buckets as you used to be, but I also know that you’re never gonna get rid of the buckets that you did collect over the years and that you don’t have one like this,” she said. 

The guys had done all this extra stuff to try to impress and spoil Jasper, but he was most excited about this simple gift from Charlotte. Ray was a little bit insulted, to be honest. “Jasper, do you even realize the time, energy, effort, and money that went into getting someone as strange as yourself a perfect gift?”

Charlotte commented, “He idolizes you. You could have gotten him shoelaces and he would have been happy.”

“SHOELACES???” Jasper asked, super excited about the possibility.

“Nobody got you shoelaces,” Charlotte added. He sank in his seat, hugging his bucket in a backpack. “I’m just saying that Ray spent $300,000 on a painting and $90,000 on a spotlight that he only used, like, once. I doubt that money is an object or that a lot of decision-making goes into his decisions. But, that’s a really cool… What is this?”

“It’s the Potty Perfector 900!” Ray said. “It works as a light, a seat warmer, and has interesting facts and stories to tell when you’re stuck on the pot!”

“That is one of the most amazing things ever invented!” Jasper said and steadied his backpack between his knees so that he could study the Potty Perfector 900 box.

“See, Charlotte? Whenever you put some THOUGHT into things, it shows how much you care about a person,” Ray said.

Charlotte nodded, “Thank you, of all people, for that life lesson. So… What’d you write on Jasper’s card?”

“Card? He’s got an amazing gift. That says it all.”

“Oh, okay,” She said.

“Why? Did you write something on a card?” Ray wondered. “I did.” She smiled and finally left the conversation, with a tousle of Jasper’s hair and a “Birthday boy!” cheer. He nearly lost his breath when she touched him, but it was over before he knew it, and she was out of the picture. He held his Potty Perfector 900 in and embrace and watched her walk to the elevator. 

“She’s amazing,” Jasper mused. 

Ray laughed and said, “Good one! Guess somebody got you a sense of humor for your birthday.”

Jasper rolled his eyes and set down his present, to go back to Charlotte’s present. Turned out that not only was there a bucket in the backpack, but in each little compartment of the backpack, she hid small trinkets and treats that she knew he would like. One of them was the birthday card, with her message insert.

Jasper,

It’s a special time of year, to me. Whenever your birthday comes around, it’s summer and we’re already feeling great and enjoying life. But, this year, it was even more special to me. Not only have you finally (technically) become a man, but you and I got even closer this summer than we’ve ever been in all of the years that we’ve been friends. I’ve learned things about you that make me so proud to be someone that you call a friend and I can’t wait to experience even more with you. One thing that I’ve been thinking about is your confession that your middle name is TBD, because your parents never got around to granting you an actual middle name. But, the thing that I’ve been thinking about is how funny it is that the name TBD worked out for you. 

“To Be Determined” was meant as an uncertain placeholder, but turned out to be a prophecy. Because, Jasper Dunlop, you are one of the most determined people that I’ve ever known. Whenever you set your mind to something, you practically kill yourself trying to see it through. You never worry about what people will think of you or how you’ll look when you set out to do whatever it is that’s on your heart to do. Your middle name might be TBD, but you, Jasper, are actually quite determined. And that’s why I love you. You’re strong, resilient, and steadfast. You’re a pillar in my life and I’m glad to wish you another year. Hopefully we have many more together. 

Happy Birthday, Jasper.

Love Always, 

Your Friend, Charlotte.

.

Charlotte's parents were out and she was off, so walking around the house in a sleepwear short set with fuzzy unicorn slippers and a ponypuff as she prepared for bed was all she had plans to do. Whenever there was a knock and a doorbell ring, her first thought was that it was Jasper. But, why would he be there? She went to the peephole and gasped. It WAS Jasper! 

She rushed around, trying to maybe change or something, but her room was way across the house and even if she got there, she wouldn't have been able to change quickly, and… Jasper put his face up to the window and said, "Charlotte, I see you! Open the door!" 

She rolled her eyes and did just that. She opened the door and feigned happiness, "Jasper! I… wasn't expecting company."

"Right. You look so silly right now," he said, laughing. "No biggie. I came by to give you something." He opened his backpack as he explained, "One of my birthday presents was a gift card to Asking for Truffle, so I bought a gift box of some flavors I thought you might like." 

He handed her a box that looked a little bit like a treasure chest. "There's a white chocolate lemon cream, creme brulee, of course, peaches and champagne, pecan praline pie…" 

She opened the box to see gold foil wrapped truffles and a little card that read: For Charlotte. "Jasper, you're not supposed to be spending your gift cards on somebody else."

"I know. But, you should be getting spoiled and how often am I in a position to do so?"

She shook her head and tried to hand it back, but he stepped back, out of reach. "Nope. I ordered it for you. No take backsies. Also, you look adorable. I was just picking, earlier."

"Jasper…"

"Thanks for the card. It was powerful." 

"Okay. Thanks for the… Expensive truffles they were supposed to be for you." Her fave was so damn warm, and when he smiled, it got even warmer. By the time he left, she was speechless. Apparently, her stepping back and bringing things back to normal didn't stick. That boy really was determined.