#i mean the last few years at my old job i was kinda second in command in toddler room and did have to open and close several days a week

[murraywalker]

Getting more responsibilities in 3 months at my new job than I had in nearly 9 years at my last job

[sunlightmurdock]

My Future in You | 2.6 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Synopsis: Bradley’s twenty-two years old and not where he’s supposed to be. Then, a hook up at a Halloween party changes his future even more than he could have imagined.

Warnings: accidental pregnancy, references to abortion in a few chapters, angst, will be fluff eventually, will be smut so 18+, enemies to lovers kinda thing, babies and fluff and more babies, bradley being a nervous first time daddy, wc: 3.8k

…

“This… doesn’t look right.” Bradley pulls back and rests his hands against his hips, staring at the car seat with an unimpressed gaze frown.

“Sure it does.” You answer, peering around him to examine the situation in front of you. The straps are secure at the top of his chest, his plush cheek resting against the padded restraints.

“I don’t think so. He doesn’t look comfortable.” Bradley answers you with a shake of his head. This is his second practice of the day. He doesn’t want Tom to be in the car seat too long, but he knows that his most significant job in all of this is getting the two of you home safe.

He leans forwards and begins to fiddle with the straps again. Your newborn doesn’t seem fussed by his neurotic, worried dad anyways. Bradley hums. “Don’t worry, buddy, we’ll figure it out.”

“The Bradshaws! — How are we this morning?”

This, Thomas is fussed by. Over the last six days, the first six of his life, you’ve figured that your son has some pretty sharp reflexes. Even just blowing on his cheek makes him flinch. He jumps, arms and legs tensing at once, his still unfocused eyes blowing wide open as the doctor strolls into the room.

His lip begins to wobble and his nose scrunches up tight, his hands trembling under the confines of his mittens. You nudge Bradley out of the way and unclasp the straps right as Thomas begins to cry.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to spook this little sweetheart.” The doctor is smiling and reaching out to tickle the infant’s back and on your end, everything is forgiven. Bradley, however, glares at her as he reaches his son.

You hadn’t been expecting the same guy who once jumped off of the roof of a neighbouring frat house and into their pool to be such a nervous nelly when it came to parenthood. Especially not the same guy who told you he wanted no part in any of this.

You roll your eyes, rocking softly, shushing the baby. These past six days have taught you a lot of things. That the birthmark on the bottom of Thomas’ back is kind of the shape of Italy. That even though he can’t see much yet, he likes to look around while he’s being fed. That Bradley is not fast enough at changing diapers yet to avoid getting peed on.

That somehow, you and Bradley might have just created the most perfect little boy in the entire world. With his thatches of brown hair and his tiny fingers and toes, his sloped nose and poured lips. Those funny, jumpy reflexes.

“I’m just here to do some tests, see if we can get you guys home today.” She tells you with a bright smile. From the way that your face changes, she can tell that this is the news that you’ve been waiting for. Six days of barely walking, hearing other people’s babies screaming — you’ve been ready to go home for a while.

“Today? — Nobody said today. They said tomorrow.” Bradley interjects loudly. You scowl across at him and he shuts up, but the nervous way he fidgets on his feet tells you everything you need to know.

“I know, I know. But he’s doing just fine so far, and I’m sure you two are eager to sleep in your own beds again.” The doctor coos softly, learning from her initial mistake as she takes the baby from your arms. She follows your pattern of soothing and rocking and Thomas seems to consider quietening down.

Bradley pushes his hands into the pockets of his sweat shorts and just leans back against the end of the hospital bed. He’s so focused on watching this stranger with your baby that he doesn’t even hear you move until you’re pressing in against his side.

“You’re doing fine.” You promise him, stretching your open palm against the fabric of his black t-shirt, stretching your neck to look at him. “Stop stressing.”

He doesn’t say anything, and that worried frown on his face doesn’t soften either. Bradley swallows, brushes a hand over his upper lip and reaches out for you. You close

Your eyes as he secures an arm around your waist and tugs you closer, leaning down and resting his mouth against the top of your head.

He inhales deeply, breathing in the scent of unfamiliar shampoo and hospital borrowed soap.

“She called you a Bradshaw, you know.” He whispers finally, just before he straightens back up. You scoff, jabbing the tip of your index finger into his side.

“Don’t get any ideas, Pops. It’s bad enough you talked me into letting Tommy take your name.” You’re joking, of course. The amusement in your voice makes his chest feel that little bit less tight. You’ll say yes, one day. He’ll make sure it’s special and you’re not giving birth next time, and you’ll say yes.

He pinches your side playfully and tugs you closer again. “Pops? — I thought we agreed on you calling me—“

He grunts as you jerk your elbow back into his stomach, just enough to make him jolt but not enough to actually hurt the idiot you’ve come to be so fond of. There it is, he grins behind you, his chest rumbling with a soft chuckle.

Minutes later, the doctor turns around to you and gives you the go-ahead. Suddenly, the little boy in the roomy onesie is all yours, and yours alone. Well, not that suddenly, there’s paperwork first. But sudden feels the only appropriate word when you’re walking out of the hospital, with no one to guide you.

Bradley’s knuckles are white around the handle of the car seat in his right hand, a slightly softer approach to the way that he’s holding your hand in his left.

“You’re sure you can walk? — They said you could have a chair, if you want a chair.” He checks, for the second time since you stepped out of the elevator.

“I’m fine.” You give his hand a soft squeeze and groan softly as you step out into the mid-summer suffocation of the Florida heat. “Now walk with purpose. It’s too hot for this.”

Settled into the backseat beside Thomas, sleeping in his car seat, you catch Bradley frowning worriedly back at the both of you before he turns the key in the ignition.

The drive home is slow, and uneventful. The baby is asleep. Bradley’s eyes are trained seriously on the road, his hands holding a steady ten and two position on the wheel. You don’t dare suggest that he turns on the radio.

There were plenty of things that you had prepared yourself for when you had decided to have your baby. Your body changing, fine. Your career plans changing, okay. The hormones and the responsibilities and the tiny human who would depend on you for probably the rest of your life, sure.

Some things about such a drastic lifestyle change simply cannot be planned for.

Nine hours ago, you brought your son home from the hospital. This is something that you would never admit out loud, but in those last few days of your pregnancy, the concern had flooded your mind that maybe your feelings for Bradley were purely hormonal. You were carrying his child, it makes sense that your body would want him around. It was the after that had concerned you.

But, you had watched today as Bradley had carried the car seat in one hand and secured you by his side with the other. He had buckled your son into the car, and he had driven home under the speed limit the entire way.

You exhale softly as you step out of the shower. That’s growing easier now, six days later, but your body is far from healed. Your legs still tremble when you try to stand too long, and your back aches in a way you’re starting to worry might be permanent.

It’s quiet in your apartment now. You listen out as you towel dry your body, trying to find the pitch of a sports narrator or some soft music — anything. It’s almost dead silent.

You wriggle into your pyjamas and wrap your wet hair, walking slow out of the bathroom and down the hall. You’re barely dry, your warm feet padding along the carpet, wrinkled fingers pushing open the door to the bedroom.

One of the things that none of the articles you had read seemed to mention, is what to do the first time that you see the father of your child at home with your baby.

Bradley’s sitting up against the pillows with Thomas nestled against his chest. His hand eclipses the infant’s torso as he pats his back softly. Thomas’ cheek is resting against Bradley’s pectoral, you can’t see from where you are but instinct and your son’s uncharacteristic stillness tells you that he’s sleeping.

Bradley’s singing. He’s patting the baby’s back gently and he’s singing softly, trying hard to push the usually deep rumble of his voice into lullaby territory.

Your mouth falls slack, cold feet becoming still against the soft floor. This tiny first apartment and its discernible wooden doors that creak at every opportunity give you away and he stops just as quickly as he is perceived.

His gaze flickers up and his lips twist softly into a small smile. You watch him take account of your matching maternity pyjamas which threaten to be too big without the stretch of your bump. Amusement floods the hint of the smile on his lips — he loves to laugh at these pyjamas.

His hand stills against Thomas’ back, those glittery brown eyes flicker up to study the look on your face.

“Hey, babe,” He hums, keeping his voice low so that he doesn’t startle the baby. “How was your shower?”

“I didn’t think I would miss our shitty water pressure, but I’m just so glad we’re not at the hospital anymore.” You pad across the carpet towards him and crawl into bed, pulling back the sheets and draping yourself across Bradley’s brawny thighs.

He looks down at you and secures the infant close to his chest, freeing one hand to brush tenderly across your cheek.

“What was that song were you singing him?” You ask. The ceiling fan whirs above you like a thrumming, excessively loud lullaby. The warmth of his thigh props up your cheek.

There’s something about it all that feels too much like a dream. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. The NICU isn’t exactly a luxury retreat, despite its price point. Tonight is your first night home from the hospital. Your son is six days old and yesterday, he officially crossed the threshold into five pound territory. Tonight, he’s huddled against Bradley’s bare chest, wearing a diaper that had seemed too tiny for an actual human to wear and zipped into a onesie printed with little ducks on it. Geese, maybe, actually.

You lift your hand and reach out, watching your fingertip follow the soft cotton covering those wrinkled lines on the sole of Thomas’ foot that you’ve come to be so familiar with already.

The infant curls his toes and unclenches them again, scrunching his knees. Bradley watches, lips twisted into a smile that he couldn’t fight back if he tried.

There’s something about the steady, heavy thrum of Bradley’s heartbeat that puts the kid right to sleep. The warm bath and the ounce of milk that came before he was set on his dad’s stomach may have helped too. Bradley’s hand cups the back of Thomas’ neck, keeping the sleeping baby steady.

“Wildflowers by, uh— Tom Petty, I think?” Bradley shrugs. In truth, he knows the song inside and out — it was the first song he learned to play on piano. He’s used to playing that down. Girls find guitars hot, not his years of classical piano lessons.

You smile, lifting your head and pressing a gentle kiss to the sole of the baby’s foot, soft blue cottons

against your lips. Then, you lower your mouth and press it softly to Bradley’s stomach. Just once, before you drop your head back down and set it against his thigh.

“He’s so good, and I’m still exhausted.” You murmur, exhaling deeply. Behind heavy lids, you make a mental note to look into which ingredient in the smell of baby soap acts as such a good sleeping agent.

“You should sleep. He’ll be up again in a couple of hours.” Bradley reminds you, stroking damp hair back off of your forehead. Closing your eyes, you nod with him, but make no effort to move. He smiles. “Come on, I don’t need to sing the both of you to sleep, do I?”

You huff a soft sound of amusement, giving a small shake of your head. “Not tonight, Pops. Put him to bed, let’s get some sleep.”

Bradley chuckles, carefully shifting your son off of his stomach and instead laying him across his thighs as you sit up.

“Mom and Dad… isn’t that crazy?” He muses, stroking his thumb across the soft hair on the infant’s head. Thomas is still so small that Bradley’s palm makes him look even tinier. You lean into your boyfriend’s shoulder and stroke the baby’s cheek.

“I know.” You agree quietly.

Big, round cheeks and pursed lips, dark eyelashes and a soft little nose. His tiny hands balled into fists, his knees curled up to his middle. Blue clouds adorning his onesie. Half you, and half Bradley.

“Alright, we’ll see you in a couple hours, little man. Yell if you need something.” Bradley half jokes as he pushes himself up from the bed and turns to set the baby into the bassinet. With the lung capacity he has already impressed you with, you know that he’ll have no issues letting you know if he wants something.

He crawls back into bed beside you and flicks the beside lamp off, pulling the covers up around the two of you. Readily, you press yourself close to him and close your eyes. He smells like baby soap.

“Are you still hurting anywhere?” Bradley’s voice lowers to a whisper now, his breath fanning across the nape of your neck as he leans his head into the crook of your shoulder and cautiously rests a hand against your hip. Into the dark, your mouth twitches at a smile.

Your hips feel both squished and torn apart at the same time. Your back feels like it might never feel quite right ever again. But even with him a cautious distance from you, you can feel the perpetual warmth from his body.

“Everywhere. But I still want you to hold me.”

Slowly, he slides an arm under you and another over you. Draping his body around yours, he pulls you close and suddenly you get whatever it is that sends Thomas off to sleep so easily. The faint musky smell of his fading cologne. The steady, heavy thrum of his heartbeat. The long, deep pattern of his breathing.

Just when you think he has beat you to it, he reminds you that he’s still awake. A soft, chaste kiss presses to your throat, his voice low as he mumbles, “I love you.”

As much as Thomas is a good baby; he’s still a baby. A small one at that, with plenty of growing to do. Even now, he just about finishes an ounce of milk at a time — half of the time. That means a lot of wake ups. A lot of diaper changes with your eyes half open.

The first four days of parenthood pass you by before you’ve really come to terms with the reality of it all. Constant feeds through the night, surviving off of instant noodles and pizza — all of this doesn’t feel too far of a stretch from your recent college days.

But it’s harder now. The responsibilities are never ending. It’s hard to remain rational about any of it.

“If you could breastfeed, would you do it?”

From the other end of the couch, Bradley seems to startle awake. Brows drawing together in confusion, he stares across your dimly lit living room at you, then takes a second to look around him.

You’re at the end of the movie now, so he doesn’t have a clue how long he has been sleeping. Stretching his legs out, he sighs softly, “Yeah. I guess so.”

Your mouth twitches at the fact that he doesn’t even ask you why. He blinks softly and brings both hands up to rub at his eyes tiredly.

“What time is it?”

“Two, maybe.” You shrug, watching Thomas’ eyelids grow heavy. His hands remain balled and tucked in against his chest. He has spent these past four days stretching out occasionally, scrunching himself back into a tight ball frequently.

“No fucking way did I just sleep for four hours. The movie’s still playing.” Bradley protests, awkwardly fumbling to push himself upright and puckering his mouth into a deep frown. You just shrug across at him once more.

“I put the sequel on after you fell asleep.”

He hadn’t ever thought he would be able to have a regular conversation with a woman who had her breast out in front of him, but here he is. It doesn’t even cross his mind to check you out. The only thing he’s thinking about is the fact you’re running on maybe an hour of uninterrupted sleep and all you had wanted was to watch your movie with him. And he had fallen asleep.

He fumbles around, checking his pockets for his phone, finding it instead resting between his jaw and shoulder. You close your eyes for a moment as he checks the time. In the split second that your eyes are shut, Thomas makes a spluttering sound.

As quickly as you can lift and turn him, the has already spit the last mouthful of milk back against your skin and all down his chin.

“Oh, Tommy…” You groan, adjusting the strap of your nursing bra with one hand as you support him with the other.

“Here, I’ll take him.” Bradley offers, pushing himself up and starting to scoot towards you.

“We’re fine.” Maybe it comes out a little bit harsh, maybe your tone is a little colder than normal. Bradley frowns at you, sitting still at the opposite end of the sectional. “Just go back to sleep.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to—“

“I know you didn’t.” You’re just doubling down at this point as you wipe at Thomas’ mouth with a muslin cloth. Bradley’s brows draw together a bit.

“So why are you mad at me? — Just let me help you.” He pushes forwards again and reaches for your son.

“I said we’re fine!” You bite back. The baby flinches and quickly starts to scream. You slam your eyes shut, darkness behind your lids and a dull ache drilling from your temples to the core of your brain.

Opposite you, Bradley sighs, dropping his head forward into his hands. You’re both silent. The sequel plays on. The baby keeps on screaming. Neither one of you look at each other.

This is what all new parents go through, you know that. It doesn’t make it any less sore in the moment.

“What should I do?” Bradley asks finally, pushing up from the sofa and squeezing against your side, wrapping an arm around your aching shoulders. It’s not worth dragging your eyes open for.

“Never get me pregnant again, for starters.” You mutter half-jokingly. Bradley chuckles at your side and turns his head to kiss at those sore temples, like he can feel where it hurts. Maybe those dad-senses are sharper than you give him credit for.

“Not even once more? — But look how cute the first one wa—“ He’s only joking of course, but he still has the good sense to shut up when you turn your head and glare at him. He grins, and he looks just like he did the first time you were stupid enough to melt for that pretty look.

“You hungry?” Bradley asks. He read somewhere that breastfeeding can cause stronger appetites.

“Yeah.”

“Dad’s got it. We’ll be right back.” Bradley promises you, dipping forwards and kissing your temple once more, stealing the baby in one fell swoop. “Come on, buddy.”

Bradley pads into the kitchen barefoot, bouncing the baby in his arms and you let your eyes fall shut once more. You’re only two weeks in. They don’t start sleeping through the night for another couple months at least — sometimes years. You don’t know how you could do another couple years of being this delirious.

Closing your eyes, it’s easy enough to imagine that you’re not here. That you’re still in school, or still in your parents’ house. Somewhere safer, where you could hide from the limited responsibilities that you had back then. It would be so easy to drift off into a dream about life being that easy again.

Instead, the sofa dips at your side and your boys are back. Bradley announces himself by kissing your cheek softly and pressing a spoon into your hand.

“All we have is Ice-Cream.” He tells you, settling Thomas into the crook of his elbow and passing the tub of ice cream off to you. You blink at the vanilla flavoured frozen treat in front of you, then look up to stare at him. “I’ll go to the store tomorrow. We’ll both go. You can stay here and sleep in.”

You look away for just a second, digging the tip of your spoon into the ice cream, and hear him continue.

“We can get whatever we want, Mommy won’t be there to tell us no.”

Despite your best efforts, a smile itches its way across your face. You turn your head and attempt to force at a scowl. All five of Thomas’ right-hand fingers are wrapped around Bradley’s little finger, they both seem to be looking at you.

“I don’t care what you come home with as long as there’s more of this stuff in there somewhere.” You decide, slipping a spoonful into your mouth and savouring the flavour on your tongue. Bradley shifts, leaning his head against yours.

“Share.” He demands, leaving his mouth open. You snuff your nose at him as you dig another spoonful from the tub and shovel it into his mouth. “That’s so good.”

“Probably not what we should be eating. We aren’t setting a very good example.” You hum, ignoring your own advice and gulping down another spoonful, kicking your feet up onto the coffee table.

If only your mother could see you now. She would lose her marbles if she saw your approach to motherhood.

“Eh, this kid pees himself all day long. We’ll start being good examples for him later on.” Bradley shrugs, leaning his weight into you, turning his attention back to the tv. “So can you explain to me what I missed?”

…

Taglist: @chaoticweirdogeek @alanadetigy @itsmytimetoodream @oldnatgwenaccount @khaylin27 @bioodforbiood @luckyladycreator2 @mizzzpink @cherrycola27 @unordinare @heli991113 @ghxst-heart @momc95 @asteria33 @lilyevanswhore @diamond-3 @galaxy-moon @jostyriggslover96 @forgiveliv @shawnsblue @little-wiseone @lovemesomevesey @alm33 @averyhotchner @diorrfairy @thedroneranger @batdanceq @wkndwlff @himbos-on-ice @damrlova @fudge13 @xoxabs88xox @mak-32 @slutford @kmc1989 @swiftsgirlfriend

[thefandomdirtymind]

I would love to see a story where reader and sanji were dating until he left to go with the straw hat pirates and a year or two passes and they meet again but reader seems more interested in zoro and so we get some jealous sanji but reader still loves sanji and so they make up 🗣️🗣️

A/N IMPORTANT:  First of all Thank you for your request anon, second i'm so sorry it take me so long ! Due to my job schedule I have only few time to write and my request list was kinda long. So thank you also for the wait. I have fun with the drama and jealousy in this one as well at throwing some Zoro and Sanji Fan Service. I hope you will like it !

You left me

OPLA - Sanji

Sanji / OPLA Masterlist and Coming Soon

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.

-----

The morning air, that day, was fresh and crisp.The perfect day for sailing. As you were watching by the second floor window, you saw Sanji, a foot on the boarding plank, looking behind, clearly searching for something or someone in the small crowd of the Baratie employer. But he will not find you there, he made a choice and you did yours.

“...You said yesterday that you were not leaving…that Zeff needed you, that it was where we are...” You said, watching him throw his clothes in his travel bag. 

“Well the old man seems to say he doesn't want me here anymore he wants me to go” Sanji harshly replied, the argument with his mentor still burning.

“And what’s that mean for me…for us” You enquire, afraid to already know the answer. 

“ Come with me, think of all the things we will see and live together!” He simply replied, small hope coloring his voice. 

“Becoming a pirate? I can’t Sanji…My parents need that money to take back the bakery, I need that money “ You protest, guilt, anxiety and sadness starting twisting your guts. 

“ Y/N we are talking about finding the All Blue!” Sanji replied, putting the last items in his bags.  

“ Yes, your dream is important, but us, our future, were all you told me were empty promises? “ You asked, seeing that said future of running the Baratie side by side, getting old together and love each others more and more crumble before your eyes. 

“ No but Zeff is right, staying here will not help me find the All Blue…” The tall blond says, defeat, seeing himself the realization of the inevitable situation rolling up in front of his eyes. 

“Then leave” You whispered, shock slowly flooding your system. 

“Y/N” He pleaded, trying sadly to reach for you. 

“ Leave !  “You suddenly shout, taking him by surprise. 

It was still only after he had closed the door behind him that you let yourself fall on your knees, crying, as your broken heart seemed to be aspired to by an black hole.  

You knew that things could have been taken differently, should have taken at least a more compromise turn. But everything had been so sudden and you had become so quickly frustrated that he didn’t understand the situation he was putting you in, that you didn’t want to try to be rational, he had chosen adventure and a mystical part of the ocean full of fishes, you had chosen your family. Still, as you watched him disappear in that ship, you couldn’t stop the burning tears from running down your cheeks. 

Two years later 

Sanji almost wished he had stayed on the ship. The atmosphere in the tavern was too loud for his current mood, the drink either not cold enough to be enjoyable or badly mixed and the food was so blank he had to fight the urge to enter the kitchen and throw the faulty chef out. But, Luffy had insisted on going out with everyone and nobody could resist their idiot but joyful captain.

That part of the year was always kinda bittersweet for him. Even with all the happy or more hard events that had followed his departure from the famous floating restaurant. The best cook of the east blue couldn’t help himself from missing his old man, keeping as a reminder, a small jar of oregano at his eye level in his kitchen. But it was you that he was missing the most, your tender eyes on him as he was talking about a new recipe, your humor finding a way to make him laugh or smile, your lips soft under his, your body warm and fitting perfectly between his arms. 

The guilt of your last conversation had frequently haunt him, during those years, your eyes full of tears, a recurrent memory of how badly he had handled the delicate situation. With time, the culpability had little by little given him some rest as the realization that it had been indeed one of those impossible cases nobody could have gone out without dommage. Yet, you were still a souvenir tormenting his heart he didn’t feel the need to share with his crew members. 

“ Nami, how far are we from the next group of islands?” Zoro asked, coming back from the bar, new bottles of alcohol in his hands. 

“ Few days, maybe a week, why ?” The navigator answered, trying to see behind the tall form of the swordsman. 

“ I would ask for a temporary place on your ship if it’s possible” A feminine voice answered, making Sanji lift his head and knock down his glass, spilling the mediocre liquor across the table,surprising everyone. 

If the tall blond was honest with himself, he would admit that for the most part of the first year, he had searched for you in every crowd he had crossed, stupidly hoping that you had a change of heart and had finally decided to go with him. But everytime he had believed seeing you, he had ended up with some cruel deception.

However, this time, he couldn’t make a mistake.Standing at the side of Zoro, in an elegant but simple dress he never saw, your hair pinned in a way Zeff would never admit in the kitchen, you were absolutely stunning and real. As real as your surprise but shock, gaze on him. 

“ I found her talking to the barman about a way to travel to the next water, I thought of catching her before Luffy somehow tried to recruit her.” The green haired man said, letting you sit before taking himself a seat.  

“ Y/N.. ? “ Sanji asked, himself shocked to see you in front of him, so far from the restaurant.

“ Do you already know each other ? “ Usopp asked, his eyes traveling between you and the cook, clearly reading with Nami a tension the others didn’t already catch. 

“ Hello Sanji. Yes, we had worked together at the Baratie under Zeff command “ You replied, trying to avoid his hypnotizing blue eyes, cursing the universe for reuniting you. 

“ What, what are you doing here ? “ Sanji asked, cleaning the table with a rag a waitress had brought. 

Looking at the straw hat crew, somehow embarrassed to be so suddenly the center of attention, you adjust your dress, preparing yourself ,like if you doing a difficult task, to answer Sanji, trying to raise as far as you can the barrier around your heart. 

“ Well, my parents died so I had to get back home for the funeral yesterday. “ You replied. 

A vague sympathy and condolences enveloped you as you tried to not again be submerged by the emotions of the devastating event. You casually start to play with the discarded paper of a straw. 

“So you will take back the bakery “ The blond asked, wondering why you weren't already there instead of trying to buy yourself a passage for some island. 

“ I sadly have nothing to take back, the bakery was the cause of my parents death. A fire had caught in the middle of the night, they didn’t wake up in time. The neighbors tried to help but it was too late. “ You confess, taking a deep breath as the hand of Sanji advances to press your hand in sign of reconfort. 

But, it was the hand of the swordsman giving you one of his beers who reached you first, before tapping uncomfortably your shoulder in an essay of recomfort. As you gave a look to Sanji, his hand still half-way, you realize that you never saw  what seemed like blue flame in his eyes before.

Offering a thank you smile to the clearly well-intentioned but more reserved man, noticing for the second time of the night that he too, has some really fine features. You face every member of the crew. 

“ I can pay for my transport, name me the amount of Berries and it’s yours. So, will you accept me on board ? “ You asked as Luffy exploded in an exclamation of joy despite his already mouth full of food and Nami’s smile enlarge at the mention of Berries.

—

His hands gripping the rope, showing the strong muscles of his forearms while sweat was sticking on his naked back and torso . Zoro was keeping at a comfortable height one of the heavy stabilizers, letting Usopp do his carpenter magic, while you were sitting with Nami, in one of the chairs in the upper deck, clearly enjoying the show. 

Well, at least of what Sanji could see. He was as well on the lower deck, trying to avoid the many discard tools while collecting fresh tangerine for one of his dessert idea, ideas who had recently start flowing again since your two path have cross again Yet, even if his hands could blindly and with ease found the perfectly ripe tangerine, his gaze alway seem to linger to you, drooling on that moron of a mosshead.

Like if it wasn’t enough of a torture for him to having you so close but at the same time so far, since you was barely talk to him except for the polite minimum. He had now to watch you fall for a pile of muscle with no brain, who already thought he was better in combat than him. No, he couldn’t tolerate it. For four days, he had already endured enough of your smiles toward him, or your genius question about his show off three swords and the sweet way you had answered his observation about your knife technique. For god sake, Sanji was the one who had shown you and helped you perfect that skill, he should have been the one complimenting you about it. His blood boiling in his veins at the thought, pulling too harshly a very ripe fruit, he felt it crush in his hand, staining his shirt with the sugary juices. 

“ Merde! “ The cook exclaimed, extending his arm to avoid spilling more of the citrus liquid on himself. * Shit

Abandoning the basket behind, his mind full of french curses addressed to the damn swordsman, who clearly wasn’t aware of the ultimate luck he has to have caught your attention, Sanji slammed the door of the kitchen behind him, letting go of the smashed fruit in a small bowl before discarding his now dirty shirt.

“ Oh…sorry you had forgotten your basket...I just wanted to...” You said, stopping in your tracks as your eyes fell on his shirtless frame.

It wasn’t the first time you saw the bare chest of Sanji. In fact, you had often joked that you knew his form so well that you could easily draw a map of his naked torso with your eyes closed. However, as you admired the sun highlighting new muscle lines on his shoulder and chest, you couldn’t deny that the life at sea had given him some benefit and had turned your previous mental map of him almost useless. Trying to keep your head cold and not ruin four days of hard effort in the salt water, you bite your lips and gently put the basket on the kitchen island. 

“ See you later “ You simply said, counting your breath, adding mentally some bricks to the crumbling fence around your heart. 

“ What’s the rush, it’s not like you didn’t already see me like that. Or the spectacle of Moss head outside is more memorable. “ Sanji bitterly said, holding his shirt in his fist, mouth half open in a sarcastic smirk.  

“ What are you talking about ? “ You asked, confused. 

“ I’m talking about you and Zoro. Look I get it, I left you behind to accomplish my dream to find the All Blue and you have all the right to resent me for it. But, that man didn’t deserve even half of the perfection that you are.” He said, frustration blooming in his chest. “ I see you for days now trying to flirt with him, look at him with your beautiful eyes like if he was your favorite pastry. I know him for two years mon coeur, and I swear it he isn't made for you “ 

“ And you are ? “ You asked, old anger slowly rising to the surface.

You knew, after two years, that the situation of your break up was meant to happen. But the pain of being abandoned by who you thought was the love of your life, was still an open wound you had hoped would close with time. 

“ You know that I am, but you still drool with Nami on that imbecile !” He exclaimed, throwing his shirt on the counter.

“ Drooling ?!…I was talking to Nami about our last relationship ! We were looking at you ! “ You shout. “ You have left me alone for the last two years in a restaurant haunted by our memories ! “ 

“ And I regret it everyday ! I was haunted too !  I saw you everywhere, smelled the ghost of your perfume on my skin, and heard you call my name every time I was trying to move on and talk to another girl. You were there without being there ! I missed you so much“ He replied, tears filling his eyes as your heart arches in front of his now vulnerable state. 

You had tried to keep your heart safe from him. But at the minute your feet step by themselves to meet him, you knew it was a lost cause. You were tired to fight your feelings, tired to pretend you could forget him.  

Taking his face in your hands, brushing off the few tears running down his cheeks. You lifted yourself on your toe, kissing him gently, the soft sensation of his lips against yours tried to bring you back in your memories. But, as you felt his arms close around you, holding you like if he would never let you go again, you decided that new choices have to be made, and this time, you both choose each other.

Bonus : 

Few weeks later

“ Sanji, I will go pick some tangerine outside,don’t be jealous, Zoro his training shirtless so I will try to not slip when I will drool “ You tease your boyfriend, laughing when he abandons his new recipe to try to catch you before you leave.

Easily pinning you against the door, kissing you breathless, his laugh caressing gently your lips, you smile against his mouth, letting your body take his place against him.

“ I love you “ He whispered, stealing another kiss. 

“ I love you too” You replied, more happy than ever. 

-----

@alienstardust @phantasmagoricalzenith@downforsanji @faefanatic @strongindependenttrash @hi3431 @sunnanse @neko-loogi @theluckyplaces @simbaaas-stuff @ofherscarlettwitchyways @juskonutoh @buffkirby2020  @miomao-ehe

Join my Tag List

[shewhohangsoutincemeteries]

to ashes, development

Clint Barton x F!Reader

To Ashes, Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Summary: a development on a mission means it's time to move on.

Warnings: angst, fluff, canon-typical violence.

Word Count: 2,313

follow my fanfiction blog

prologue - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 -31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35

Days Since the Decimation: Three Years, Eighty-Five Days

“Holy shit, you got any idea how fuckin’ hard I am right now?”

You wrinkled your nose. “Oh, gross.”

Clint frowned.

“What? It’s seedy as hell,” you waved a hand. “You take me to the worst places.”

You swore, you could actually see him roll his eyes from the other side of the building. “Not exactly poetic, are they?”

The two of you were on top of an old disused warehouse in Harringay, listening with distaste as the men inside discussed their, ugh, merchandise. What was it with men and guns?

The weapons ring you’d fought in Holland Park was still at large, and Clint had spent the last two weeks tracking them down again. Honestly it was a testament to them that it had taken him this long, even without his old SHIELD connections. Whoever they were, they weren’t street level thugs.

…It made you feel the tiniest bit better about them getting the better of you in the park.

Clint had scrubbed through the local police files for any clues as to where they were setting up house. Between that and his own reconnaissance, he’d managed to track one of their prominent dealers to right under your feet.

“You still clear on the plan?”

Nodding, you unhooked the safety hood of your holster. “Yeah. Yeah, I got it.”

“Y/N…”

You looked up with a raised brow, fixing him with a pointed look. “Are you really about to lecture me about not taking revenge?”

Clint met your eye with an almost exasperated expression. “Point taken.”

“You ready for this?”

“That’s my line.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” you smirked, stretching out a kink in your neck. “Let’s go to work.”

***

You were really getting tired of these guys.

That’s the only thought that came to you as you rolled behind the crates to your left, gun still in your hand. You came to a kneel, your back meeting the wood with a dull thump. They were too prepared, to ready for the two of you.

This wasn’t supposed to end in a shootout. This was supposed to be a quick job, and yet… how did they know about the two of you? They’d mentioned a boss in the park, someone who had guessed you’d been Clint’s back up, but still… they knew you were coming. Not well enough to lay a proper trap, to ambush you before you got inside, but well enough to be ready.

You ducked lower with a curse as wood shattered above you, large splinters raining down on top of you. Thankful for the hood that kept them out of your hair, you exhaled and turned to fire two shots back around the corner. One shot went wide, but you smiled grimly as the second bullet buried itself in a man’s shoulder. He cursed in a heavy Eastern European accent as you ducked back behind the crate.

“Did you have a plan B for tonight, or are we winging this?” you said into your comms. You heard a cry go up among those shooting at you, followed by shouts of confusion and a few wild shots. You winced despite yourself for a second, waiting for a response in your ear to assure you that they’d missed.

“I’m working on one,” Clint replied gruffly, and you released a small, relieved breath despite your faith in him.

“So… winging it, it is then,” you sighed wearily, setting a new magazine into your handgun and adjusting your hold on the grip. “You know, I kinda hate being the one to draw their fire.”

“I’ll make note of it for next time,” he replied dryly, and another gurgling cry went up among the men between the two of you as Clint shot back out of the shadows long enough to take one of them down. He sliced up two – the one you’d wounded and the man closest to him. “Don’t do anything stupid, alright? We’ve got this under control.”

“Do we?”

“You doubt me?”

“I—”

“Fuck this!” shouted one of them – a burly brunette with a greying beard and tattoos scattered over his biceps. “Get one of the pushka out here and end this!”

“Clint—” you said warningly, stealing a glance over the crates.

“Don’t panic,” he warned, and you swore you caught the glimpse of silver in a brief shift of the light to let you know exactly where he was. “You’re not their biggest problem right now.”

“Clint—”

A deafening blast sounded and you fell forward, hands flying automatically to your ears. The crate to your left exploded – as did the wall in front of you, burst apart in a wave of electric blue energy.

“Holy—”

“Y/N!”

“I’m fine, just—”

“Forget the bitch! Get the Ronin!”

You scrambled away from where you’d hidden, throwing yourself behind an old forklift. Too late, you realized you’d left your gun behind, having dropped it when your hands had flown to your ears. Swearing to yourself, you winced as another blast fired. The building itself groaned as they blew another hole in a wall.

“What the hell is that thing?!”

“Just get outta here, Y/N! I’ll distract—”

“Don’t you fucking dare, Barton!”

“Just go!” he barked back. “Now!”

“Goddamn it!” you growled, standing as you heard the men shout that they’d spotted the Ronin above them. You saw the gun – a bazooka-like cannon – turn upward, point directly at the shadowy figure above. “Stubborn-ass-son-of-a—”

The blaster fired, and you swept your arm upward in the same moment. A shield appeared seconds before the energy wave could hit Clint, knocking him to the side. The energy wave just barely glanced off the shield before blowing a hole in the roof and sending debris collapsing down on the men below.

“What are you—?”

“Take the moment, Clint; you can yell at me later!” you spat back through gritted teeth, sprinting towards the group still shielding themselves from falling bricks and timber. “Get out! I’m right behind you!”

Pulling the knife from the back of your belt, you turned it in your grip and plunged it into the hand of the man closest to the crate they’d pulled the pushka from, ignoring the way he screamed. You released it, instead grabbing the first weapon you could from the crate – thankfully, a much smaller hand-gun style weapon – and kept running. A few men managed to get off a few shots before you were clear, and you winced as you felt a bullet tear through your sleeve to graze your forearm.

Feet pounding too loud on the pavement, you made it quickly to an alleyway across the street, tucking your prize under your injured arm as you grabbed hold of the rung of a fire escape ladder with your other arm and swung yourself upwards. You could hear the building behind you continue to collapse as you climbed the ladder, and you winced as a hand gripped yours as you reached the top.

“Are you insane?”

“Are you?” you shot back breathlessly as Clint pulled you up onto the roof beside him. “What the hell kind of plan was that? You were gonna let them shoot you with that thing?”

“I’m faster than I look, Y/N,” he pointed out sourly. “And now they know—”

“They don’t know shit,” you argued. “There’s no way they could see the difference between that shield and whatever the hell they were shooting at us with.”

“It was still really stupid, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome.”

Clint gave you a look that somehow managed to look grateful and exasperated all at once.

“Oh, and I totally get MVP this mission.”

“Is that a thing?” he replied dryly.

“It is now,” you said proudly, finally managing to catch your breath. Ignoring the pain throbbing in your arm, you held out the gun you’d stolen. “Ta-freakin’-da, Barton.”

***

“Lat—”

“What?”

Clint repeated himself louder, but his voice was still muffled by the wood of the door and the spray of the shower.

“What?”

You heard the shower door open and a few dull sounds before the bathroom door in front of you opened. Water dripped over Clint’s bare torso and soaked his hair, one hand clutching the towel slung around his waist. You watched him hesitate as he met your gaze, watched the adam’s apple in his throat bob. “Latveria.”

“Lat– Latveria?”

“This is starting to feel dangerously like a bit,” Clint said dryly, stepping back into the shower stall. You felt heat rise in your face as he closed the door and the towel was thrown up over the top of it. You stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment before closing the lid of the toilet and perching on the edge of it. “That’s where the weapons are being made.”

“And they’ve made it all the way out here?” you replied, swallowing as you tried to pointedly avoid staring at the shower. The stall was made of textured, frosted glass, and while it granted Clint modesty, you could still just make out his silhouette against the screen. His hands rose to scrub through his hair, his profile turned just barely away from you.

“They’re global,” Clint told you, raising his voice over the spray. “I heard reports of them turning up in New York back before… Fury had someone else working on it.”

“And we just happened to stumble onto them in a park in London?”

Clint’s hands lingered at the back of his neck. “They’ve been making bigger waves lately. Guess she’s been getting a little cockier since the Decimation wiped out half the authorities that could work their case.”

“‘She’?”

Clint’s hands moved down his chest to his stomach, and you lowered your gaze to the floor, face burning. Your thighs pressed together despite yourself. You knew your voice had broken slightly as you’d spoken that one word.

“Lucia von Bardas.”

The water shut off, and you straightened slightly, your hands threaded together in your lap. The towel disappeared into the stall. “Should I recognize the name?”

“Only if you’re trying to be familiar with Eastern European politics,” Clint told you, the shower stall opening after a moment. “She’s a pretty big name in Latverian political parties. She’s got interests in most of the big exporters coming out of that place, including Von Doom Industries. There’s been rumors of her dealing in some… less than legal businesses for a while now. Guess now we’ve actually got some proof.”

Clint stepped out; the towel tucked securely around his waist once more. He seemed to be avoiding your eye, wiping down the foggy mirror with his palm.

“And?”

“And what?”

“We’re going to take her out, right?”

You stood up, and Clint met your eye in the mirror. He sighed.

“That expression tells me you’ve already decided on the answer for us.”

***

“I’m starting to miss Stark’s money.” Clint sighed, settling back into the seat beside you.

“You’re the one who books these oh-so-deluxe travel arrangements,” you pointed out, attempting to find a comfortable position against the firm back of the bus seat. “You’d think with your super-ninja-spy-magic you’d be able to get us a fancier ride.”

“I’m not a ninja,” he told you patiently. “Or magic.”

“You’re a little magic.”

Clint shook his head with a smile; you were sure there was faint color on his cheeks as he dropped his head back against the headrest.

“So, how long exactly is this ride?”

He answered with his eyes closed. “…About two days.”

“Two days?!” you repeated, when you saw his smile grow slightly, you scowled. “I kinda hate you, you know.”

“I thought I was magic.”

“Magic and despised.”

He chuckled; eyes still closed. The bus pulled away from the curb, surprisingly empty. The sky outside was already dark, and the glow of the streetlights passed over the archer’s face. “We’re less likely to be recognized on the bus.”

“Curse you and your logic.”

Clint didn’t reply, and the two of you sat in silence for twenty minutes before you spoke again.

“It’s a little annoying how easily you can fall asleep.”

He smirked; eyes still stubbornly closed. “I’m not asleep.”

“…How about now?”

“Were you always this annoying on road trips?” he teased.

You laughed, closing your eyes too. “Oh, please. You’d be so bored without me.”

***

You opened your eyes slowly, blinking away the sleep still lingering. You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep, but the wide expanse of road ahead of the bus told you you’d left the city a long time again, as did the faint pink glow tainting the deep purple of the night sky. You shifted, brow furrowing as you felt the warmth pressed up against your side and the rough fabric against your cheek. A comfortable weight rested against the crown of your head, and you frowned against the fuzziness still clinging to your tired mind.

Your eyes finally cleared to settle on the color of Clint’s jacket, and you felt his breath fan softly against your hair. You’d fallen asleep, your head falling against his shoulder, and he’d apparently done the same. His cheek was pressed against your hair, his breathing steady and even. A smile touched your lips as you let the sensation of his chest rising and falling lull you back into rest, and you ignored the sensible part of your brain that was trying to remind you that you were supposed to maintaining your distance from him.

Your eyes fell to your lap as your eyelids began to droop, and warmth flared in your cheeks. Your hand was on your thigh, and Clint’s rested beside it, his fingertips settled on the back of your hand. Your skin was warm and tingled under his touch.

Had he… had he been holding your hand?

.

.

.

tags: @trekkingaroundasgard @lovely-dreamer19 @wittyforachange @wefracturedmotivation @january-echoes @glossyloner @capitalnineteen @youclickedthislink @s0ftness @castieltrash1 @drakelover78 @queenoftheunderdark @lol-you-thought @akumune@xxboesefrauxx @enna-core@hearmyharmony@katsies @youralphawolf72 @maenji@rhymesmenagerie@gwianasky @melaclintbartoncorner @loki-is-loved@whovianayesha @bradfordbantams@alice-the-nerd@fanofallthefics @ace-fandom-dumbass @kaelyn-lobrutto24@twsssmlmaa @earth-pig-fish@meeksmusic83@hallothankmas@justanothermagicalsara@janineb86 @darsynia@rhymesmenagerie @thatwelshbi @lauraashley93@darkwhisperswolf

[a-sunset-outside-my-window]

hullo friend, do you have any wolfstar fanfic recommendations for remus going through the lunar cycle? something like hurt/comfort but not only, just him dealing with all the things that come from being a wolfy

oh boy do I ever! I'm wiggeling in my seat because of this question

(disclaimer, I've been kinda busy the last few weeks so I might come back to this ask later with some more recs lol)

The 39 Steps by gilbertsdoor

Remus hated having to lie, but he could see no other way around it. Closing in on Sirius, he gripped him by the fabric of his t-shirt, pushing it up towards his throat. ‘Alright then. You’re alone in the muggle countryside, wandless, in the dark. You’re manacled to an evil, murderous werewolf, a known killer who doesn’t hold an ounce of pity for your pathetic human life. If that’s what you would rather believe, then by all means,’ he hissed, ‘be my guest.’

One minute Remus is between jobs, isolated, and thoroughly disenfranchised with life, the next he is on the run for murder, being a werewolf-at-large, and for knowing far, far too much.

One minute Sirius Black is a bored auror in training, the next he is caught up with Remus in a mess of secrets and dark magic.

Their lives intertwine, but how long can they keep running from the Death Eaters, and how long can they keep running from themselves?

Harry Potter and the Dog and the Wolf by thewholeofthemoon I live and breathe for this series!) it's very much focused on lycanthropy especially the latest work wich is still a wip but so so so good!

Scent of the Moon by Quietlemonhush this is a little different but very much lycanthropy focused even if it's not always the source of the hurt

Not content to only disown the wayward heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Walburga calls in back up. Bellatrix has all those new friends with their good ideals and their sharp, sharp teeth.

Sirius Black returns to Hogwarts with a bite in his side and a fever he can't shake.

they also have some more smutty wolfstar fics wich feature the lunar cycle if that's more what you are looking for

Dunes and Waters by MarigoldWritesThings ( @marigold-hills ) this is probably the fic most focused on lunar cycles and just the magic theory behind lycanthropy and I also just can't reccomend it enough

Remus is sensitive to changing tides, a part of the moon always with him, and Black is like the sea. He can smell it on him, the way his magic builds up and crackles about the fingertips.

***

A werewolf, a convict, and a riddle.

The W in Weasley stands for Werewolf by gonzoclock this one is mostly here for fun werewolf lore I'm not gonna lie

When a werewolf comes out of nowhere and attacks nineteen-year old Arthur Weasley, he thinks his life is over before it's even really begun. He's wrong, of course, and now all of forty years later the Weasley family is thriving, happy, and healthy- and every one of them is a werewolf.

Things are going really well for eleven-year old Ron... except for the part where he has to get through school without anyone finding out his family's secret while simultaneously keeping his new brother alive. Easy-peasy. Right?

(Pay no mind to the one-eyed beast that seems to be lurking in the shadows- it's almost certainly nothing to worry about.)

Features the entire Weasley family adopting Harry Potter practically the second they lay eyes on him (or before that, even); Ron Weasley finding himself being altogether far too nice too slimy gits who don't deserve it; Percy Weasley doing his best; Harry deciding that being enemies with this Malfoy kid is too much work actually; Hermione Granger being as smart and ruthless as ever; Severus Snape who did not, and I repeat, did NOT sign up for ANY of this; and much, much more

By Moonlight by Eiiri this one, as well is mostly here for the werewolf angst, not nessecarily between wolfstar

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus recognizes something familiar in Draco Malfoy and offers him sanctuary. With nowhere else to turn--his parents in prison, his home a crime scene--Draco reluctantly accepts and becomes a tolerated, if not welcome, member of his schoolyard rivals' and wartime adversaries' family of choice. As pages of the lunar calendar turn and the summer wears on, Draco and the others begin to see each other in a different light.

but definitely check out these authors! <3

sorry for bad grammar it's late

[whenishipiluxurycruiseit]

Song Inspiration - Kalam Eineh by Sherine

DCMK AU! Edogawa Conan did not take the antidote AU!

(Honestly im just typing it here so i couldnt forget my idea, i cant write well so its gon be a prompt or something)

Edogawa Conan did not take the antidote due to the chances of dying is greater than going back to Kudou Shinichi (15% Success rate only)

Kudou Shinichi proclaimed MIA/KIA in the operation destroy the alcoholics

Conan living his childhood the second time and making it better compared to his last, means he is more matured in this second childhood of his (like duh he like 17 yrs old inside HAHAHAH)

Ai was already planning not to go back to her old life and remain as Haibara Ai, so she spends it with Conan making this second childhood better (unlike Miyano Shiho who was bullied for being asian in america)

They make their dreams come true by being a menace child to everyone

Dw Conan and Ai are very happy (they are kinda depressed but they cope well now)(very strong poker face!!) they smile a lot and more carefree than before

Parters in crime frfr they treat each other as siblings

Edogawa Conan still lives with Ran and helps her cope through Kudou Shinichis proclaimed death

Conan and Ai graduate Highschool by the time they’re 15 yrs old

They did not go to college and instead just.. travel everywhere (they’re smarter than college kids anyway)

First they travel with Kudou Yuusaku and Kudou Yukiko bc well.. they minors and the Kudou couple is Conan’s guardians(parents) and became Ai’s guardians too

Though when they old enough they travel on their own both of them or each on their own

Conan being a freelance detective and Ai being a dunno, info broker

Conan is not really a law abiding citizen anymore, he just follows what he thinks is right thus sometimes help Lupin III when he meets them coincidentally during his solo or with Ai travels

Lupin III team as his second fam (or third??) frfr

“Papa!” “I told you not to call me papa!”

“Jigen the brats our nephew now *wipes tears*”

Conan occasionally visits Japan, like during one of the Tantei Shounen Dan’s bday or smthg or some case that needs his help

(Oh yea) Conan is Kudou Shinichi’s replacement (kind of) in MPD Division 1 golden boi

He is also divisions 2 golden boy (kid killer wahhaha)

Conan is also the FBI agents golden boy

When FBI found out Conan is not planning to go to college, they set their fangs on him and recruited him (no questions asked due to the number of recommendations from the FBI agents in Japan)

Not only FBI but also CIA (Conan’s the peacemaker between the rivalry of the two)

Also interpol (they like the smart kid who snucked(?) in before their base in Japan)(cute kid)

So no matter how many law Conan breaks in some country, they got his back and he knows it (that its kinda illegal but who cares they do the job they needed him to do anyways, use the privilege)

Also some of them knew about his situation the shrunked teen situation and his Edogawa Conan identity is alllll fake and is made through the power of position in the world (along with Haibara Ai)

Conan goes here and there to solve hard ass cases but now it’s not only centered around murder but also politics so he study a lot! (“Should’ve gone to college instead of this dang…”)

All expenses paid by his employers ofc

After like a few yrs, like when hes 19, Ai made a perfect antidote that will bring their old body back safely

Ai only made one pill cause she didnt need it, but she knows Conan might want it so its there waiting to be swallowed by Conan

Conan took it for funsies

He did not know it was permanent

He has now two identities, Edogawa Conan and the proclaimed KIA/MIA Kudou Shinichi

He thought he could use it to prank others

“Whoa so this is what I look like in ten years, haha i should prank them that I went back in time from the future haha”

“u are not going back to the future”

“what”

Thus he got stuck in swiss for nearly a month so he could make excuses with the help of Ai (“STOP LAUGHING AT ME U ASS, WHY DIDNT YOU SAY IT WAS PERMANENT” “what a dumbass 😂”)

He kinda uses both identities but mostly the Conan identity

“W-what is that Kudou Shinichi..? I thought he was-“ *wears the glasses* “oh its just you conan kun whew”

Conan feels like hes clark kent and wonders when will he die (of embarrassment cause srsly why did he make this more harder for himself? Though its fun watching people confuse me for me haha)

Those he did not tell about his secret in Japan are having an aneurysm bc what the heck is that kudou shinichi on international tv am i dreaming am i dead is he dead who is dead?… were they dead all along and life was just a simulation that they’re playing in the afterlife

The Kudou Couple are laughing, and Conan is also laughing at the chaos he caused (also he will not be clearing it up for the funsies, he got infected with his parents twisted sense of fun)

Ofc what kind of kaishin shipper am i if i dont include kaishin right?

Kaishin did not happen

Why? Well because conan suddenly left like a rat (and well he did not decide to take the antidote anymore)

Conan helped Kaitou KID defeat his enemy organization in the age of 8 (18) (he destroyed it after he decided he will not take the antidote, which was like i dunno a week after he took down the BO)

Kaito thought that was like the sweetest proposal ever (tantei kun i will say yes to heaven say yes to you)

Conan did not propose instead he told KID that Kudou Shinichi is KIA/MIA and will not be coming back while visiting KID in the hospital

Kaito was like wdym ure here, Conan’s like yea /conan/ is here but shinichi is gone (like the angsty grade schooler that he was)

Kaito was fine with that as long as he can see his tantei kun

His tantei kun was coping through Kaitos heist and he did not mind at all cause hey its fun! (Being chased by ur first love and everything- well other than those soccer balls, but hey as long as its from tantei kun ill take it)

Kaito told tantei kun to find out his real identity and said that he will reward him

The day after Kaito said that he got a text from tentei kun (“so whats the reward kuroba kaito nii chan”) (kaito just blushed “since when did u know” he texted back) (“from the moment u pissed me off”) (“yes sir im sorry”) (“so? What is my reward?”) (“do you know what date it is on monday?”) (“april 1st?”) (“i’ll be waiting tantei kun~”) (“whoa what a sap”)

Kaito confessed to Conan during april 1st on the rooftop of Haido Hotel that he liked (love, conan, shinichi was his first love. Aoko was a crush that died during eigth grade and became a sister to him instead) him and

And was rejected softly

It hurt

So much

But looking at tantei kuns sad smile and appreciating eyes, it kinda lessened a little bit (kinda, a little bit, hurts a lot though)

“I.. don’t want you to be placed in this weird situation. As I’ve said, I have no plans in going back as Kudou Shinichi, and I can’t destroy this life, as Edogawa Conan, for a 15% chance of living.. I’m still here, but as a child. An 9 yr old child.. Thank you and I’m sorry.” (I like you too, but I like to too much to grab on to you and make you wait for years, I don’t want that, you can only go through your teens once and I don’t want that to be wasted on me. I love you.)

“… I… I can wait for you..” “I know, but I don’t want you to.”

Because Kaito is a masochist, he asks for a request

“Can.. can you tell me you love me..? I don’t mind if its just a pretend but please, I won’t ask for anymore please Tantei-kun, Shinichi, I-“

“I love you, Kaito.” Conan says as he pulled the teenager’s shirt down and kissed him on the lips for the first and last time. “I love you, Kaitou KID.” /Conan/ says as he hugs Kaito and feels the tears that are beginning to wet his back.

“Thank you, for loving me, for falling in love with me.” Shinichi says as he looks to Kaito’s eyes, kissed both of his eyelids close, and left quietly. ‘May this be all a pleasant dream to you.’ Shinichi, Conan thought as he hears Kaito’s cries behind the rooftop door.

They did not meet for 2 weeks after that, Kaito KID announced a hiatus and Conan, Conan looked at Ran (nee chan, kind, understanding, lovable Ran nee chan. Who did not have the strength to get angry at him when he told her the truth, who still let him stay at the agency, cooked, took care of him even after all that was revealed. Who he started to look as a sister but it did not make him love her less) and decided to let them meet

Yes people kairan(i dont ship it btw, its just for plot reasons, also inspired by a fic like how the most of this idea came from) happened, but not in the romantic sense, in a I share your pain sense, lets dwell on it together and people misunderstands sense

They meet through Conan’s “Sonoko nee chan I heard that there was a magician who is as good as KID performing at the Beika Performing Hall!”

Sonoko the kind bff that she is “Ran lets go! Lets take your mind off Shi- uh the recent news and look at some magic trick yea? Its gonna be fine! Look I’ll even bring the kids-!” “Oh- I’m fine Sonoko nee chan, My parents will come home that time so you can go with the others without me!”

Kaito and Ran meet and Ran is like “Shinichi..? No, you’re! KI-“ “Shhh! Ojou-san, seriously you’re sharp as Metantei, does he train you?”

Why does Kaito not bother rebuking Ran’s guess is bc Ran saw him using Shinichi’s face a lot which means Ran saw him without disguise a lot of times to know that hes KID

Weird friendship acquired!

New knowledge acquired! (Seems like he was not the only one dumped by their first love, and also seems like they did not get over yet from their first love who is coincidentally the same person! Wow tantei kun if only you know)

(Kaito’s kinda jelly though cause Ran and Shinichi had a /label/ while He and Shinichi… hmph! At least Tantei Kun did not hide his real self from me!) (he’s coping so hard, he knows)

They spend a lot time together to the point people thought they were dating (they weren’t)

Conan is included in people. (He’s kind of relieved that they found solace in each other but also kind of sad cause of all the people he loved romantically (once with Ran and currently with Kaito), he could not date them properly (Ran) or couldn’t even try to date them (Kaito) thus them ending with each other… should he just like a lot of people so those people that he likes will like each other? Does that mean he becomes a match maker?… does he have to like Hattori and Kazuha-chan do they could confess to each other cause Hattori is kinda annoying currently..)

Kaito and Ran saw Conan (Shinichi) looking at them and smiling sadly, giving his blessings mentally (please give all the good luck that I have to both of the people I love) and ah.. fk.. should we.. make it real..?

They did, they officially dated, but just to be with the person they related the most (and also because how Shinichi (Conan) looked at them, like how he wanted that for himself but /just cant/ and gave up and ah if he wants us to be together so shall it be, its not a bad pair anyways.. cope cope) not romantically

Bc of their not so relationship relationship, they dated for 5 yrs and got married. (Just to make some of their friends shut up about when will you marry and oh! Still dating? Ran/Kaito I want to see my cute darling nephews/nieces! Ugh)

(After their marriage, Conan left for somewhere they can’t reach him, but he promised to update as much as he can so.. also Ai-chan is with him to help him remember his promise)

They have kids! Twins in fact (and they’re so glad its twins cause both of them dont think they can do /that/ again.. not when they both loved the same man, they still shudder when they remember the night they made the twins, it was when they both got drunk too, on.. Shinichi’s (Conan’s) supposed to be death anniversary)

They named them Shin (新) and Ichi (一), both boys!

“Why are you named one when theres two of you?” Asked their Uncle Conan during his sudden abrupt visit in Japan, Shin and Ichi are about three yrs old now! “Because Mom said she and dad thought that I was only one! Then surprise surprise there was a new (Shin) one behind me!” Explained Ichi, the youngest of the twins

(Apparently the oldest of the twins are the ones who are conceived last, because they were made in the womb first, they are hidden behind bc their twin will form in front of them, that’s according to my friend who has a twin HAHAH so dunno rlly)

Uncle Conan is laughing so hard he folded in half! “HAHAHAHA! Oh my Lord, they got Hakase’s bad pun jokes, gosh I’m sorry my cute nephews, you guys became a victim.” Uncle Conan said while laughing, wiping a tear from his face, “anyways.. for the million dollar question! Why are both of you on the rooftop of this building?”

Cause seriously, who left his nephews here on top of the building?! Theres no one with them too! Conan is positively sure that their parents are not that irresponsible to just leave them here alone! So who-!

“Papa said to stall time! So he could catch you before you leave again!”

Oh.. it.. it was one of the parents.. “.. and your mom allowed him..?”

“Yep! Because she said that uncle is so hard to catch these days! She said uncle is like a slimy fish!” Shin exclaimed, “Whoa, she said that word infront of your dad?” Conan asked worriedly, “No.. not really, Mama just said ‘slimy f!’” Shin answered bashfully

“Haha! Thought so! Anyways Uncle can’t really stall more time anymore so here! I’ll give you your favorite chocolates in exchange for letting me go!” Conan said cheerfully and like magic, poofs a bag of chocolates in his hand. He wasn’t tied up, but well, children must learn how to ask permission eh? (Also bribery but well what they dont know wont hurt them)

“Waahh! Really! Okay Uncle! Be careful!” Both boys replied readily and greedily takes the bag of chocolate from his hands, “Ha! Both of you really took after your father huh?” He commented softly, after placing some tracking and listening devices on their clothes he said his goodbyes, “see you my cute nephews! Share some to your dad too ok! Wait for him to get you here, bye bye! Love you!~” he said as he leapt from the rooftop.

“Bye uncle! Love you too!” Both said after getting five chocolates each for themselves because their mom is scary if she finds out that they ate more than required of them! And they dont want cavities!

“Shin! Ichi! Where is your Uncle Conan?” Kaito panted as he jumped down from his handglider(?) wearing his full Kaitou KID regalia, minutes after Conan left. “Papa!/Dad!” His twins exclaimed as they ran to hug him, “Uncle Conan just left a while ago!” “He gave us chocolates!” “He also placed some devices on us when he was about to go!” “Uncle told us to leave some chocolates for you!”

Just barely made it then.. Kaito sighs. Honestly his children are too much like him to be easily swayed by chocolate ‘Dang it Shinichi you won again.’ He thought as he picked both of his kids up, “Let’s go home shall we? Mom is waiting for us for sure!” “Miso soup!” “Karaage!” “Dearests its evening, don’t you think those are for breakfast foods?” “Miso is miso!” “Karaage is karaage!” “Just like chocolate is chocolate papa!/dad!” “I agree so much”

Conan laughs as he listens to their conversation, well it looks like its fine over there, he thought as he placed a box full of quality fruits at the kuroba-mouri doorstep.

…

That was a year ago, so pray tell, why Shinichi is on international TV CALLING HIMSELF CONAN?!?! The couple, Kaito and Ran, shrieked, along with their phones going off bc of numerous calls and texts of ‘DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE RAN?????’ ‘R WE DEAD??’ ‘ISTG WAS THE TEN YRS A DREAM AND HE WAS ALIVE ALL ALONG?!?!’

its a good thing that the kids are staying on their grandma Chikage for the night..

Theres actually more in my head.. like their reunion and stuff but well, its already 1:41 am and all i was planning to do was to read kaishin fanfic so gahdang why am i here HAGSHAGSH

Yes, endgame is kaishin, well for this one, in my head yea, i dunno with urs after u read those

No, i dont really like poly relationships that much, im more of a one to one person not three in one plus one happy happy happy kaarawan type of shipper

Yes, Timeskip Ran now sees shinichi like how shinichi sees her, a sibling type of love

No, even with their long relationship and marriage and kids, Kaito and Ran did not really fall in love with each other, they love each other yea but not how like Kaito loves Shinichi and how Ran used to loved Shinichi, its a love built on mutual understanding where they ‘ah, you too? Yea i feel you..’ they see each other as bffs that slept with eachother for one time and decided that yep, its not you, but the kids are here so lets raise them properly yea?

Yes, kaito is still deeply inlove with shinichi (conan), he follows shinichis trail closely or as close as he can get knowing how shinichi goes country to country every frikin time like cant you stay for fIVE MINUTES IN A COUNTRY SHINICHI?

Yes, shinichi (conan) is still in love with Kaito (so well i technically lied on the first bullet on the kaishin one cause they did happen.. just.. so.. soo.. much later

“What will happen to the twins then if kaishin is endgame?” While I don’t really support divorce, but due to how I made their, Kaito and Ran, relationship work, the kids will go to the custody of Ran, but Shinichi will make sure that only, and only when the kids are able to understand the schematics of their relationship will he allow the divorce to go through and let Kaito pursue him (i believe in marriage counseling first before marriage so you can have second thoughts about a lifelong choice, which I did not do to Kaito and Ran, sorry lovelies)

The twins when they got much older understood and was cool abt it, like wow we have like two cool dads (one their previous uncle now stepdad) and one cool mom what a cool family we are hehe, also they dig the ten yrs from now failed prank of Conan (Shinichi), cause when he, conan, picks them from school for who knows like family trip or something they like so yea this is our uncle ten yrs from now so cool right he time travelled for us were a cool and smart family

So yea feel free to ask questions! Though this is mostly what I have with this au really, i dont have much with the other characs but if you ask I can think of some or you can think of some Haha! Just comment below! Cause i dont know how to navigate the ask part of tumblr yet HAHA! Byeee

[maaarijaaa]

We meet again ✿ Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes x Detective!Reader

Requested by: Anonymous

Summary: After your father stepped down as a detective, you decided to take over and got on your first case. What you did not expect is a letter standing on your front porch from a person you wanted to leave in the past…

Warning: smut, nsfw 18+, murder

A/N: Hello everyone! I have not written a smut in a long time so if this is bad just let me know. English is not my first language, so let me know if I made any mistakes. I do not allow for my work to be posted or translated on this or any other platform. 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Ever since you were little you were introduced to the world of the detectives. Your father was a detective him self and was also, your biggest role model.

You two have traveled all around the world to solve cases together. You were his little Nancy Drew.

As years went by your father became old and decided to step down, meaning that you would have to take over his job. You were excited at first, until you got on your first case.

There has been a murder in a neighborhood not that far from yours. The person who was murdered was a young woman, probably in her late 20s. Her body was found by her sister who came home late at night that day. Her sister owns one of the most popular bookshops in town and that day, the bookshop held a small event, celebrating the success of a new book that was recently published by a writer that was from the town. The book became really popular not just in your town, but also across the country so they had a reason to celebrate.

Her sister sent you a letter asking you if you could solve the murder and you agreed.

Solving murder cases were not your thing since your father never allowed you to help him whenever he was asked to solve a murder.

But your father has stepped down, and now you are the one in charge so you have to try your best.

The woman’s sister invited you over to their house so you could investigate.

The living room where her body was found looked pretty normal to you and did not see anything suspicious.

“Was your sister at the event too?” You asked the woman.

She looked at you for a few seconds before she spoke. She was still in shock after finding her sister’s body so you understood why she took her time.

“She was, but only for a short amount of time. She said that she was not feeling well and wanted to go home. I told her that we can go together since its dark and could be dangerous but she did not want me to leave since she that the event was important to me. After a hour or two I kinda felt that something was wrong and was scarred that something might have happened to her so I left to see if she was doing okay. I was first relieved to see that the lights were on but that quickly changed when I saw her lying lifeless on the ground.”

You noted every detail before asking her other questions.

“Did she act differently at the event? Was she maybe scared or maybe uncomfortable?”

The woman took her time since she tried to remember the way her sister acted.

“What I remember is that she was a little bit scared, like she saw a ghost or something but I brushed it off since she was often scared or shy whenever she was crowded by the people. What surprised me the most is that she requested to walk home alone at such late hours. She never went out when it was dark unless there was someone with her, but I thought that she was brave enough to alone so I let her. I also saw that she was walking fast, like as if she was running from someone.”

You noted every important detail about the night.

You asked the woman if she had any scars. Anything that would prove that she was murdered.

She told you that she had bruises on her body, mostly on her neck. She also told you that police and doctors believe that the killer held their hands on her neck until her last breath. There were a few scars that were caused by a sharp object that could have been a knife or other things like glass.

That’s everything she knew since they are still trying to find the cause of death before she is laid to rest.

You went around the house to see if the killer left something or dropped something. You found nothing.

Her sister let you search in her room.

You checked everywhere until you opened a box that was hidden under her bed. The box was full of letters.

All the letters she has received were from a guy named Connor Smith.

Most of them were love letters where he declared his love to her, until you opened the letter that were sent to her only a moth before she was killed.

You could definitely see that his love turned into obsession. He told her that she will always belong to him. That he was the only man she was allowed to love. He also wrote her that she should stop seeing the man she was out with once, which meant that he was probably stalking her.

You exited the room so that you could talk to her sister.

“Do you know if a man named Connor Smith was at the event?”

The woman looked at you with a weird look on her face.

“Yes, Connor used to work at the bookshop until two weeks ago. I invited him since he help us a lot with the bookshop.”

You noted that down.

“Did you maybe see him around your sister that night?”

“I am just asking because he sent your sisters some letters so I need to know. Was Connor around your sister that night?”

“Yes he actually was. They talked about something and maybe a half an hour or so she asked if she could go home since she did not feel well.”

You noted that down too and told her that you will come back in a few days. You also told her that she should tell you if she found something suspicious or any new clues.

You thanked her for inviting you over and left her home.

After leaving their home, you stopped at the local marked and bought some groceries since your dad requested it in the morning before you left.

You brought everything that your father requested and left. When you arrived to your house, you saw that there was a letter at the door.

Ever since you got this case, people would not stop asking you about it. They wanted to know everything. You have received letter from people in town who wanted to be part of the case. You even received letters from the local newspaper with dozens of questions.

Who did it? What clues did you find? Any suspects?

All you wanted was to be left alone and solve this case in peace.

Before you opened the letter, you stored the groceries that you brought and made your father some lunch since he was starving. Poor man.

Leaving your father to eat in peace, you went to your room and opened the letter.

I heard that you just got your first case

If you need any help, I am there for you

S.H

You instantly rolled your eyes when you saw who sent you the letter.

Sherlock Holmes, one of the most successful and most popular detectives in the world. He was smart and intelligent, knew several languages and every case he got, was solved.

But you knew Sherlock way before he even became a detective.

You two used to be lovers until he became a detective and made it his priority.

You did not care at first. You were happy that he was doing something that he loves.

Until, he started to travel around the world to solve cases.

During that time you would miss him a lot and wrote him letters daily. He never responded to one of them.

After he came back from Spain, solving a case that involved kidnapping, he admitted cheating on you with other woman so he could get some information out of her since she was one of the main suspects.

He told you that it meant nothing to him but you did not believe him, so you left him.

And after five years of no contact, he sends you a letter saying that he will help you with the case. What an idiot, you thought.

You ignored his letter and went off with your day.

You went down to the town center to visit your favorite cafe, hoping that you could relax and read the notes you took while visiting the victim’s sister.

You sat down at your favorite spot, outside since it was a nice day and the sun was shining, and ordered some coffee and your favorite cookies.

You were so lost in the notes you took that you did not notice the person standing behind you.

“Well, we meet again sweetheart.” He spoke softly

That made you jump since you did not know that he was behind you. You even realized that others were staring at you.

Turning around to see the figure behind you, you could not help but to roll your eyes again.

It was Sherlock.

He took the seat next to yours and sat down, meanwhile you started reading your notes again, ignoring Sherlock

A few seconds went by before he spoke again.

“Are you going to ignore me again”

You did not say anything as you still read your notes.

“Did you receive my letter” he spoke

You looked up at him

“I did” you spoke back

“I meant everything I wrote in the letter. I am willing to help you with the case if you just let me…” He could not even finish the sentence because you cut him off.

“I do not need your help. I am capable of solving it alone.” You spoke harshly

Sherlock understood why you were like this since he has hurt you a lot, but he really wants to help you.

The lady who works at the cafe, came with you order.

You were about to pay her, but Sherlock was faster.

He payed your order and ordered some coffee too. The lady noted down Sherlocks order and left.

“What do you know about the case?” He asked you.

You knew that he will not give up so you just answered him.

“Well I visited her sister today. She is terrified and wants answers to why could someone do this to her sister. I asked her a few questions about that night. She told me that her sister did act weird and that she was scarred. She described it as she has seen a ghost. She later on leaves the event at around midnight, saying that she does not feel well. Her sister feels like something is wrong and goes home to check up on her only to find her dead in the living room. Her body has both bruises and scars. Most of the bruises were on her neck and doctors and the police believe that the killer killed her by pressing their hands on her neck until her last breath. The cuts were caused by a sharp object. Could have been a knife or glass but I did not find anything suspicious until I checked her room where I found letters from a man named Connor Smith. He has sent her too many love letters over the years. The last letters she received from him was a month ago. In the letters, it said that she should stay away from the man that she was seeing because he did not deserve her. I suspect that Connor was stalking her too, but I can not say that its clear that he did. I asked her sister if Connor was at the event, which she said that he was and that they had a conversation. Shortly after their conversation, her sister came up to her, asking her if she could go home since she did not feel well.”

“So, this Connor is the…” Sherlock spoke before you cut him off.

“Is the main suspect, but I need to find the name of the other guy she was seeing. He could also be a suspect or may know something we don’t.”

Sherlock nodded as he listens to you.

“What are your plans now for the case?” He asks

“Well, they are still checking for a cause of death, but the main theory of the death cause is that the killer killed her by chocking her very hard until she took her last breath. I wanted to hear if they have found something in her body since she said that she was not feeling well. Could be because she was talking to Connor, but it could also be that she was..” You spoke, but to your surprise, Sherlock cut you off.

“Poisoned” he spoke

“That’s one of my theories, but I could be wrong.”

“At this point everything is possible.” He spoke before asking you more questions about the case.

“Do you know where Connor lives?” Just then, the lady comes out with Sherlocks order and he pays.

“Well, no but he used to work at the bookshop where the event was being held at so they probably know.”

Sherlock nodded and then drank his coffee. Then you realized that your coffee and food is still untouched so you take a bite of cookies and drink some coffee too before you speak again.

“We have not seen each other for five years and then you all of a sudden send me a letter where you will gladly help me with my first case. Why?!”

Sherlock looked at you for a moment before he spoke.

“The truth is that I wanna make it up to you and helping you with your first case would be my honor. I know that was an idiot for doing the things back then, and regret doing it. I regret hurting you and most of all, I regret leaving you.”

At that moment you told your self “he does not mean it”, but then you saw that his eyes are filled with tears that are threatening to spill.

“I don’t know if I can forgive your for hurting me back then, but what I know for sure is that we can try again, but…as friends for now.” You spoke while looking at him

“I understand but could I at least help you with the case?” He asked as a smile began to form on his face. You chuckled since you could not take him seriously.

“Fine, I would be needing some help.” You said while chuckling.

Both of you finished your drinks and you shared your cookies with Sherlock before standing up and leaving.

You walked around town and talked about each others lives.

He told you about the amazing places he visited while solving cases.

From Paris to Moscow, and even Cape Town. He told you that he can bring you with him when he travels again.

You smiled at that, already imagining the places you two could visit, but that imagination was cut short when you told yourself that you have moved on and wanted to stay as friends.

Well, so you thought.

You walked together for what seemed like hours, but it was only 10 minutes.

You two found yourself standing on Sherlocks porch.

Sherlock opened the door and yelled “Hello!?” to see if anybody was home, but it was dead silent.

“Well turns out we are alone” he said while turning to look at you.

You gulped hard, since the last time you were alone with him in his house was when you had your huge fight with him because of his affairs. You ended things with him and stormed out. You have been there to visit Enola and her mother but you were never there when Sherlock was back.

You headed towards his office to focus more on the case.

You went through the notes you took, to see if you can at least solve something. What bothered you the most was that you did not know the name of the other guy she was seeing.

It would have been much easier to know since he could tell his side of the story, but right now he is on the list of the main suspects.

“How are we going to find the guy she was seeing if don’t know his name or have any description of him?” He asked

“I don’t know but I think its best for us to investigate and see if Connor is behind her death. Besides, the news have spread around town, so he is going to come forward sooner or later.”

“You are probably right” He sighed

During the time you spend in his office, you would often notice that his hand would often brush yours or your waist. You did not mind at first but he kept on going so you decided to confront him.

You pulled away from him and yelled “Alright Sherlock, ever since I got here, you would not stop touching me!!! So if you don’t have anything better to do then I think that I should leave!!”

You were about to exit his office when he suddenly pulled you into a kiss. You really hated yourself at that moment since you gave in.

He pulled away and looked into your eyes before he spoke.

“These past years without you have been hell and everyday I hate myself even more for hurting you and don’t think I could ever forgive myself for making my work my priority and doing all those disgusting tings I did that hurt you. I think about you, I dream about you every damn night and I love you…more than anything in this world.”

You looked at him with tears in your eyes, and did not know what to say.

Sherlock later on took you to his bedroom without pulling his lips from yours. He laid you down on the bed before pulling away from you to take his shirt off. He then helped you get out of your corset and rest of the dress. He finally took his pants, along with his underwear. He then laid on top of you and began kissing your neck.

“May I??” He asked for your permission. You have done this while you were still lovers but it was a long time ago so it was the only right thing to do.

“Yes” You blurted out.

He slowly lined himself on your entrance and began thrusting. You both began moaning softly while he kept a slow pace since you needed some time to get used to his size.

“Fuck, it feels so good” He said.

You could not form any words at the moment because of the pleasure.

Sherlock later on sped up the pace and you were a moaning mess.

“You okay sugar?” He asked while thrusting into you.

“Yes! It just feels soo goood!” You said.

Both of you reached your limit and were out of breath.

“Did you really mean everything you said?” You asked.

“Every word. Do you think that we can try again?” He asked

You were skeptical about that but you had other plans.

“Well first of all, it would take some time for me to trust you again so you would have to prove it. Second of all, yes we can but as friends for now until I know that I can trust you again.”

Both of you looked at each other and smiled. He came on top of you again and gave you one last kiss before you both doze off.

[thevelria]

Pull the trigger (SFW/hitman!Gojo x mafia!leader!fem!reader)

Author's note: I've been working on this story for weeks lol I really enjoyed writing it, reader is completely different this time. She's cold and ruthless but don't worry, they get their happy end (kinda lol)

And also I did a collab with my lovely friend @randompurr again. Please give her some love, she did an amazing job <3 

DO NOT copy or repost her art without giving credit! Comments and likes are much appreciated.

And thank you to my lovely @ladycheesington for proofreading <3

Warnings: MNDI/ 18+ ONLY!/ injuries, blood, violence, torture. Mention of guns and illegal business. It's a mafia AU after all Wordcount: 5.1K

“Such a shame to kill someone so beautiful.” he thought and for a brief second he hesitated. For the first time in his life Satoru was unable to pull the trigger. In a blink of an eye you were out of his sight. His pupils grew wide and his breath became uneven, because he knew he fucked up. 

“Shit.” he clenched his jaw as he was still staring through the lens of his high tech weapon at the spot you stood just a second ago. 

***

A big yawn and an even bigger stretch helped you get out of the bed in the morning. You knew it was going to be a busy day. Some business meetings then a party where your business partner invited you. So actually it was a must. 

It’s been a few years now that you had to get in charge as the head of the family. Your father passed away and his last wish was you to protect the empire at all costs. He raised you well, if raising a girl as a ruthless yakuza could mean “well”. Skilled, smart, sneaky were just bits of your personality. 

Did you want this role? Sure. Would you have any other choice if you thought otherwise? Of course not.  

For some reason old memories rushed your mind while you were getting ready in the bathroom. Taking a hot shower, standing under the water was supposed to make you feel relaxed. But instead you frowned as an unwanted scene from your past flashed in front of your eyes. 

“Do it! And prove your worth!” you heard your father’s harsh voice. 

“I don’t want to…” you argued with shaky hands. 

“Do you think I wanted it when I was at your age? No! Did my father care about my feelings? Also no! Because our feelings don’t matter. The only thing we need to focus on is to keep the business together, protect the empire at all costs. Never forget that! And now pull the fucking trigger.” he shouted. 

You closed your eyes and obeyed. It was the first time you killed someone. With time it became easier but you were unable to forget the first one. You were only a child for fuck’s sake. 

Your turquoise silk robe hung on the hook and waited for you to put it on after you dried yourself with a huge fluffy towel. As you stared in the mirror you noticed how tired your eyes looked. Circles and massive bags showed you would have needed some more rest or some less stressful life in general. But there was nothing that makeup couldn’t hide. Getting ready was one of your favorite parts of the day. 

Business meetings meant casual makeup and conservative hairstyles. Messing with your bun you chose some gem covered hair pins to fix it. Your typical velvet lipstick finished the look before you walked to your wardrobe to choose an outfit. An outfit that showed you were a powerful and dangerous business woman. 

A black long sleeved turtle neck blouse with also black tight pants were the best choice. You spiced the outfit with heels, a long snow white coat and a pair of leather gloves. A slight smirk appeared on your face as you took a quick glance in the mirror before you left the room. 

Yuuta was ready to escort you as always when you headed to a meeting. During the years you implemented some changes in the family, you rewrote some old rules and replaced them with new ones. One of them was to change the ranking process. Before, members under the age of 30 couldn’t guard the boss. Your father believed young people weren’t able to handle certain situations. Yuuta on the other hand proved his worth more than once, plus you trusted him. So he was the perfect choice. He appreciated your faith in him and did his best to protect you no matter what. Even if the boy was in his twenties he was already a skilled fighter, great in martial arts and even better with his katana. 

You loved the terrified look on people’s faces when they noticed your guard with a huge sword on his back. Of course he was armed with guns as well but no one needed to know about that. 

“Good morning, boss.” he greeted you with a slight bow. “The car is ready and waiting for you.”

You nodded and a tiny smile showed him you were satisfied. Yuuta weren’t only your guard but your personal chauffeur as well. 

On the way to the meeting you felt like someone was watching you. 

“Are you okay?” Yuuta looked into your eyes through the rearview mirror.

“I can’t explain it.” you cleared your throat. “I have a bad feeling about today, so please pay attention. This family is nasty as fuck.”

“You have my word, I will protect you.” he frowned as he focused on the road again. “And if they try anything I will kill them all.”

***

“Why do you want me to kill her?” Gojo grabbed the folder from the table. His client stood in front of him in his office. The man looked determined, hatred flashed in his eyes. 

“I need that family to be wiped out as soon as possible. Starting with the useless boss is the best.” he snorted. 

“Hmm…” Satoru laid back in his chair, chewing on his inner cheek, seemingly hesitating. He was staring at your picture that was attached to the folder. Your beautiful face, mesmerizing eyes, oh and your silky looking hair distracted him for a second. 

“So? What do you say?” The man was getting more and more impatient. “I pay as much as you want. Money doesn’t matter.”

Gojo clicked his tongue as he stood up and threw the folder on his desk.

“Deal!” he slammed his palm into his client’s, shaking hands to make it official. 

Even if he accepted the request he had a weird feeling about it. Something bugged him but he had no idea what or why. 

The next few weeks he spent examining your life. He tried his best to get every useful information about you, about your daily routine and about your family. Once he realized how loyal and faithful your men were, he knew it wasn’t going to be a piece of cake to eliminate you. 

“Okkotsu Yuuta.” he hummed as he made some notes. “This fucker will cause me big trouble, if I’m not careful enough. That katana looks worrying. And on top of that he’s like a lap dog, he’s always around her. So pitiful.” he rolled his eyes. “Who’s next?” he frowned. “Nanami Kento. The consigliere of the family. He seems smooth but he’s a freaking butcher when it’s needed. I definitely have to pay attention to him, otherwise he will cut me into pieces. I know how far he’s willing to go…” he clicked his tongue. 

Satoru kept going on and on with his notes and list about you and the family. He was the best hitman in the area if not in the whole country. His hitting rate was 100% successful, no mistakes, no missed chances. When he accepted a job he was determined to get it done. This was one of the reasons that made him the best. 

But the second he laid his eyes on you he knew he needed to be careful. Not because he wasn’t good enough to kill you, no. But because you seemed that kind of woman who looked sweet and beautiful on the outside and probably was a dangerous, cruel mistress on the inside. 

***

Yuuta opened the car door for you as he pulled off in front of the building. In front of the 65 floor high skyscraper in the heart of downtown, which wore the name of the owner right above the entrance. Enormous letters signaled the importance of the word Zen’in.  

You were wary of the family. Bunch of fuckers as you mentioned them, whenever a conversation involved these people. The way they treated some of their members made you feel sick. For you family was the most important thing. Something that needed to be protected and saved above everything else. For the Zen’ins money and power came first. 

As you stepped out of the car you kept fighting the weird feeling. The feeling that you were watched. For a brief second you turned around and looked at the top of the building on the other side of the road. Nothing. You saw nothing. Maybe a tiny little reflection but it was so meaningless that you didn’t care at all. 

“Boss?” Yuuta’s husky voice snapped you back to reality. “You okay? We should head inside.” The boy stood next to the car, frowning. He was always so ready to step in, to get into action. His senses were always aware of everything. And no one could blame him for not seeing a skilled hitman hiding at the top of a building as high as the sky. 

“Yeah, sure.” you cleared your throat and turned to the entrance. 

The inside of the building looked stunning, rich, luxurious. It represented everything the Zen’ins wanted to show to the world. They wanted people to see them as a higher form of living. As they would be worth more than the average. Obviously it was bullshit and all this circus made you laugh and gag at the same time. 

“Oh, stop this Naoya.” you rolled your eyes. “I thought we were here for serious business but all I hear is “but” and “if”. I don’t have time for this.”

You felt as if he tried to buy some time and actually you were right. The current head of the Zen’in clan tried his best to keep you in the office. He was terrified because you shouldn’t have arrived at all. If everything went according to the plan you would have laid on the ground in front of the building with a bullet in your pretty head. Instead you were pulling faces, rolling your eyes and calling this whole meeting useless. 

After you left the building Naoya became furious. “What the fuck happened?” he yelled through the phone right into Gojo’s ear.

“Stop yelling.” his cold voice sent shivers through his client's body.

“Answer my fucking question! I thought you were the best.” he hummed.

“The job will be done. Stop bothering me unless you want me to change my target.” he clicked his tongue as he ended the call. 

***

“I don’t know, Yuuta.” you frowned. “Am I paranoid or was this meeting off? I mean, I know he is a fucking jerk but…” 

“Something was definitely off.” he nodded slightly as he opened the car door for you. “Maybe you should cancel the party tonight.”

“I can’t.” you sighed frustrated. “I have unfinished business with Kashimo Hajime. I owe that bastard a dance.” 

“Boss…” Yuuta rolled his eyes. 

“What?” you acted innocent. “We made a bet and he won. You do know how important it is to stay true to your word, right? I can’t let rumors spread that I’m a liar.”

“I know, I know.” he waved. “I’ll be aware of every source of danger, just please don’t make it harder than it should be.”

“Seriously?” you hummed a laugh, while you raised one of your eyebrows. “Let’s head to the hair salon, please.”

You spent the day enjoying the luxurious pleasures that rich business women could afford. After the hair salon you stopped to get your nails done. A little bit of shopping and having lunch with Yuuta in a fancy restaurant were the most enjoyable part of the day. You loved spending time with him since he never complained. Okay, it was part of his job but somehow it seemed he enjoyed your presence just as much. He wasn’t only your first Lieutenant, he was your friend. 

In the late evening you stepped out from your room in all your glory. You wanted a dress that showed enough but still stayed elegant. A classic black dress you chose with long sleeves and deep cleavage. A thin silver belt hugged your waist. The bottom of the long dress just brushed the floor, while your right thigh was shown through the slit on the side.  

Besides the dress you wanted your hair to look perfect as well. So you made a messy but lovely looking low bun and spiced your outfit with a pair of tiny diamond earrings. The velvet lipstick was a must. 

When it was about a party or a public appearance in general four or five of your men escorted you. Just in case. Yuuta and Nanami were waiting for you in the hall. The way Yuuta’s eyes widened the second he noticed you walking down the stairs made you smile. 

Kento cleared his throat that snapped him back to reality. “Be professional.” Nanami whispered to the young boy. “And know your place. She is the boss!” 

***

The parking lot was way too crowded in front of the breathtakingly beautiful building. Long stairs guided the guests up to the entrance. As you took a few steps forward someone bumped into you. A young girl with dark green hair and a pair of very fashionable glasses grabbed both of your shoulders. She leaned in quickly and whispered. “Be cautious! Gojo Satoru wants to kill you.” And with that she was already gone. 

Yuuta appeared next to you in a heartbeat, he was furious about being too late to prevent the incident.

“Boss!” he placed his hand on your forearm. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What did she want?”

“She said…” you stared into the nothingness, still in shock.

“What?” he frowned. “What did she say?”

“She said Gojo Satoru wants to kill me.”

“What the fuck? Okay, get in the car. Right now! We need to take you to the safe house and…”

“No!” you raised your hand which made Yuuta quiet immediately. “Kento, please come here.” you turned to your consigliere.

“Yes, boss.” he stepped next to you in an instant.

“Do you know the name Gojo Satoru?” you looked him in the eyes. 

“He is one of the most successful hitmen, boss. If he is after you, we should take this seriously. That man never misses his target.” 

“I’m not gonna let that bastard ruin my night. So it will be your job to be ready to act, understood? I have a plan. Because I’m sure he will try to approach me. You wait for my sign and we’ll capture him. I need to know who hired him.”

“Boss, with all due respect…” Yuuta gulped hard.

“No!” you shot a deadly stare at him. “Do as I say and know your place!” you took a deep, irritated breath before you turned around and headed to the stairs.

***

The inside of the building looked even more mesmerizing. Huge crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, marble floor sparkled under your feet. Everything seemed fancy and expensive, extremely expensive. You hated these kinds of parties from the bottom of your heart. Even if you were loaded you never liked bragging about it. And yet this party was all about it. Every guest, every person in this room was disgustingly rich. 

A few steps you took and eyed the place to find some familiar faces. A friendly voice called you from behind that made you smile. 

“Kashimo, are you already here?” you turned around to greet him.

“Darling.” he smirked and hugged you immediately. “I was afraid you wouldn’t show up. You know…” he blinked “Because of our little bet.”

“Oh, c’mon…” you laughed out loud. “This time you won and I’m true to my words no matter what.”

The night started to get heated, more and more crowded. You had a nice dinner and kept enjoying Kashimo’s presence. Cocktails after cocktails disappeared down your throats but you were aware of the danger.

“So…” Kashimo stood up from the table and reached out his hand for you to take “Can I have this dance, milady?” he kissed the back of your hand as you accepted his offer. 

“With pleasure.” you nodded slightly. 

Kashimo Hajime was an attractive bastard, there was no need to deny this fact. His tall figure, toned body and handsome face stole the hearts of the women across the country. Tonight he wore his semi long, bluish white hair down with a messy bun. The suit he chose followed his body perfectly. His dark blue button up shirt showed all his muscles, if you checked him well enough you could spot his abs, too. The black pants fitted his figure and followed his round bum. All in all he looked hot as hell. But you would have never admitted that. There was no way on Earth for you to boost his ego even more. 

The slow song echoed through the marble room and lured several couples to the dance floor. He softly took your hands and guided them around his neck, while his own hands found their way to your waist. 

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” he cooed.

“It’s been worse.” you teased.

It was just a game between you two. Teasing was your thing. Maybe you were attracted to him, maybe not. Maybe he was attracted to you, maybe not. But one thing was sure, you both loved this cat and mouse game way too much. 

As the dance went on you felt the same weird feeling as in the morning. The feeling of someone watching you. 

“What’s wrong?” Kashimo frowned “You don’t enjoy this nice dance with me?”

“I do.” you admitted without even realizing it “But I have a weird feeling. I think someone is watching me.”

“Oh, you mean the crystal white haired guy in the corner?” he smirked. “He hasn't taken his eyes off you since you walked in. I think he’s a fan of you, darling.”

You rolled your eyes and hugged him just a tiny bit tighter. 

“Be ready…” he whispered in your ear “He’s heading here.” Kashimo thought he did you a favor when he waved to the unknown man behind your back, inviting him closer. He had no idea the man was here to end your life. 

The second he stepped next to you, Kashimo released your waist. “I think you paid the price of losing our bet, darling.” he took a step back and winked at you, before disappearing in the crowd. 

“May I have this dance?” the tall man reached out his hand to you.

“Who am I about to share this dance with?” you looked skeptical.

“My name is Gojo Satoru.” he stepped a bit closer. You grabbed his hand and tried your best not to show any sign of nervousness. Playing it cool was your only goal. You had to get the name of his client no matter what. 

“What a lovely name.” you smiled softly as you placed one of your palms on his shoulder. Gojo was taller than Kashimo and in a wicked, twisted way he looked more attractive. The snow white hair, his handsome face and those undeniably beautiful blues made you weak. 

It seemed your hitman had taste in dressing up. The ebony suit with silver white button up shirt and matching tie made him look unbelievably eye-catching. But you were aware, you knew what he came here for and you weren’t about to give him what he wanted. 

The slow melody filled the dance floor and for a brief second you felt a spark. A spark between him and you. Satoru stared deep in your eyes and you saw…regret?! In that short second you played with the thought of what if you met in other circumstances. What if he wouldn’t be here to kill you, what if you could give yourself completely into this dance. It sounded so ridiculously insane that you almost chuckled, but you felt somehow safe in his embrace. 

The second Gojo pulled you into him and hugged you tight you let out a soft moan. It felt good, it felt nice, it felt natural. You threw your hands around his neck while you kept dancing. To the rhythm of the song your body moved in sync. You rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. 

“I wish this was real.” you whispered. But he heard you and pulled you back a bit just to look into your eyes. Even if he kept silent his eyes showed more than enough. 

“May I?” he leaned in, closer and closer, inch by inch. Did you want him to kiss you? Oh, yes! Did you let him do it? Well…

His lips were so close to yours that you felt his hot breath on your skin. In that exact moment you raised your hand behind his back and snapped your fingers twice. Yuuta, Nanami and the rest of your men appeared around you in a blink of an eye.

“Let’s not make a scene.” Yuuta growled as he pressed a gun against Gojo’s lower back in a way that no one even noticed. 

“Such a nice act it was, darling. I almost believed we had a moment.” he kept staring into your eyes. 

“Take him.” you sounded ice cold. 

Yuuta walked him out of the building and stopped next to their car.

“Put this on…” he threw a sack to Satoru.

“Is this really necessary?” he clicked his tongue. Yuuta didn’t answer him, stepped a bit closer and punched him in the gut as hard as he could. 

It surprised him, he didn’t think this young boy had the balls to actually hit him. 

On the way to the base millions of thoughts ran through Gojo’s head. He was mad at himself. “This woman…this woman made me vulnerable.” he clenched his jaw. Even if he knew it wasn’t professional, he couldn’t help his feelings. Now that he shared that dance with you, now that he felt your body close to his, now that he almost kissed you he knew what he had to do. “I’m gonna make her mine, no matter what.” he smirked under the cloth. 

But there was one thing he wasn’t aware of. You weren’t as easy to get as he believed. 

***

After your men escorted Gojo into The room Yuuta walked back to you into the living room.

“Boss…” he took a deep frustrated breath “Please let me handle this fucker. I will get the information you need, I swear.” hatred flashed in his eyes.

“Take Nanami with you.” you poked your inner cheek with your tongue. “But you cannot kill him, understood?” 

The boy’s eyes widened when he heard your order. Something was off and he felt it. Normally you were the first one who stepped into the room and beat the shit out of anyone who tried to harm you. Never before have you shown any kind of mercy. Every single time you were the one who pulled the trigger. But this time it seemed different. On your way back to the base you declared that you weren’t going to join them.

***

Nanami walked next to Yuuta but when they reached the door the boy stopped Kento.

“I will handle this on my own.” he said with a serious tone in his voice.

“Stop this bullshit, kid.” the tall blond rolled his eyes “No one needs you to be a hero. Especially not her.”

“Fuck you, Nanami.” Yuuta clenched his jaw “I’m going in alone and I will get from that piece of shit what she needs. But I don’t need you to be there and stop me…”

“She said we cannot kill him, remember?”

“Mistakes can happen.” he shrugged as he slowly opened the door and stepped in. 

Gojo was sitting on a chair in a completely empty room with his hands tied behind his back.  The second he heard the door moving he knew it was going to hurt. And he was right. 

Kento was waiting outside but he heard everything. Every punch, every hit, every hiss. He knew this hitman was a tough one but he also knew that Yuuta would go as far as possible to get the information for you. You were his world even if you didn’t see him like that. 

“Talk, you filthy shit.” Yutta punched Gojo in the face for the umpteenth time.

“Sorry, boy.” Satoru smiled with blood covered teeth “I told you I won’t say anything to you. I’m only willing to talk to her.” 

“Bullshit.” he spat on the ground. 

“Hey!” Gojo yelled out of the blue “I know you hear me Nanami! Please tell her I’m going to tell everything but only to her. ”

Yuuta froze in his action. “How do you know him?”

“I’m sorry boy but it’s none of your business.” 

Kento clicked his tongue before he headed to get you. He wanted this to end. 

“Boss.” he stood in front of you “He is willing to tell everything but only to you. Maybe…”

“Fine.” you rolled your eyes and got up faster than you expected. You didn’t understand your reaction either. 

***

“She would never play your game.” Yuuta pulled an annoyed face. Gojo stayed silent and smirked, because he knew. At least he hoped you felt the same tension between you too. The door shot open and there you were, standing in front of him with the coldest look in your eyes.

“Boss…” Yuuta turned to face you. He saw as you raised your hand to hush him, so he bit back everything he wanted to tell you. 

“Leave us alone.” you kept staring at Satoru who looked way too beaten up. 

“But…” Yuuta tried his luck again.

“Enough!” you yelled and looked him in the eye. “Who do you think you are talking to? I said leave. Now!”

He realized what he did and felt really ashamed. Talking back to the boss was very disrespectful and unacceptable. He knew what his punishment was going to be and he couldn’t do anything but accept it. Deeply he bowed in front of you and walked out of the room. 

“You have 2 minutes to tell me what I want to know.” you said the second you heard the door closed behind you. “Otherwise I let Yuuta in and I won’t hold him back anymore. You know…he really wants to kill you.” you clicked your tongue. 

“I assume Nanami talked about me.” Gojo tried to sit straight even if he was in real pain. This boy beat him up pretty well. “And so you know I could have killed you if I really wanted to.”

“Oh, how generous.” you rolled your eyes. “Name…give me the name of the fucker who hired you.” your ice cold tone sent shivers down his body. He knew it was crazy but he found you way too attractive. The power, the raw cruelty in your eyes made him want you even more.

“Look, I'll tell you the name with one condition. We finish the dance which was interrupted so aggressively.” he tried to smile through his blood covered face.

“You think this is some kind of joke?” you got mad in an instant and stepped right in front of him. “One minute left.” you looked down on him.

Even if you were aware of a lot of things you missed the fact that Gojo was trying to free his tied hands behind his back. During your lovely chit chat he was able to get rid of the rope. As you looked down at him, he slowly looked up right into your eyes. He didn’t say anything but slowly stood up. The way he towered above you made your eyes widen for a second. You really didn’t expect him to break free. Several thoughts rushed through your mind and you realized you made a huge mistake. You let your emotions get in the way and you underestimated your enemy. 

You took a step back but he grabbed your waist gently. 

“Please.” he growled. “Just let me hold you for a second. I can’t explain it and it drives me crazy but look…” he pulled you close to him. “I could never hurt you. Never! ” 

Unbearable tension was throbbing in the air. For a brief second you eased your body and melted into his touch. Satoru felt the difference right away. 

“The Zen’ins” he whispered as he leaned in. “They wanted to get rid of you.” 

You bit your lower lip, you were hesitating. Did you want him to kiss you? Oh, yes. Did you understand why? Not at all. But did you let him…?

His pink lips got closer and closer to yours, just like back at the party. You felt his breath on your skin when suddenly his eyes widened and he froze in his action. The cold steel of the gun, pressed against his tummy, stopped him immediately. 

(colored version is on Wattpad)

“Did you really think that I would let you kiss me?” you caressed his cheek and smiled softly. 

“I thought we had a moment.” he hummed a laugh. For the first time in his life he let his guard down and now he knew he was about to pay the price. 

“You know I have to do it…” you closed your eyes and pulled the trigger. 

Gojo collapsed on the ground and watched you walk out of the room. Barely heard some mumbling between you and someone else. Then everything was black. Pitch black.

“Get rid of him.” you turned to Yuuta “But make sure he stays alive. Understood?” 

The boy gulped hard and nodded obediently. 

***

6 months later:

There was a party where you were invited. A fancy, rich, luxurious party as always. That you hated oh so much. Shining in all glory, you looked more beautiful than ever. Killing time at the bar, while cocktails after cocktails slid down your throat, you heard a familiar voice.

“Looking beautiful tonight, darling.” Gojo sat down on a barstool next to you. 

“I’m glad you’re fine.” you hummed a laugh.

“Are you? Because it seemed you thought otherwise a few months ago.” he teased.

You kept silent, finishing another drink. 

“I was thinking…” Satoru sighed. He's never done anything like this before. 

“About what?”

“About working for you. If you’d accept me of course.” he smiled awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck.

“Hmm…” you pursed your lips. “You’re skilled, I know that. I think I could use those skills…”

“But?” he raised one of his eyebrows. “There’s always a ‘but’.”

“I’m gonna test your loyalty and your will to take orders.” 

“What if I fail?” he smirked.

“Well, then this time I won't miss your heart when I pull the trigger.” you winked.

[vilandel]

Melody Of Your Heart

Summary It was just a single melody. But it lead to love...

A/N An oneshot I wrote two years ago, as a birthday gift to myself, which means it's very self-indulgent 💜 Also sharing my headcanon that Nozel can play the piano, headcanon I share apparently with @kalolasfantasyworld and @f-oighear 💘

Ao3 link

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

The first time she heard him play, it had been a shocking surprise…

That day wasn’t meant to be special. Vanessa just had to deliver a probably very important document at the Silver Eagles Headquarters. A small last minute mission, because Yami had forgotten, leaving Finral to discover it in the evening and having a panic attack, so Vanessa volunteered to deliver it.

Noelle’s brother wasn’t present, Vanessa had to give that document to Agatha Austen, vice-captain of the Silver Eagles. Who looked very relieved to receive that piece of paper. As it was vital or something.

Vanessa didn’t ask, it didn’t interested her anyway. But the sincere thanks of the vice-captain was nice to hear and honestly, she wasn’t unhappy about the opportunity to see inside another squad, totally different from the Black Bulls.

So, instead of going home, Vanessa decided to visit a bit after saying goodbye to Agatha.

It was already late in the evening, most of the Silver Eagles went home – for those who didn’t lived at their Headquarters – or went back into their rooms – for those who did. And maybe some were now going out, enjoying their free time. Even if it was a bigger squad than her own with so much more work to do, Vanessa couldn’t believe that the Silver Eagles hadn’t any free time.

Only the knights who were here for the night shift were at their posts and some of them looked like they took their job very seriously, so Vanessa decided to not stop by and have a small talk. They would already find it weird to have a knight from another squad visit them this late.

The Silver Eagles headquarters was big and an old building, with many rooms. So of course, Vanessa get lost. Kinda. She didn’t panicked, so she just continued to walk, believing that she would find some Silver Eagle who could guide her back.

She didn’t found any Silver Eagle, though. Instead, as she was walking through some hallway who looked somehow unoccupied, she heard it for the first time. A melody. A melody played on a piano. Breathetaking, sad and hopeful, nostalgic and peaceful.

Vanessa couldn’t tell why she felt that melody like it was calling out her soul. She never been that interested in music before – except singing and even then mostly drinking songs – and such rich instruments like violins, harps or pianos always seemed like some foreign language to her.

But this time, Vanessa found it beautiful, understanding and she couldn’t tell why. Back then, she didn’t even ask herself. She just followed the melody, who came from a door at the end of the hallway. Behind that door, a surprisingly big room with high windows, but without any furniture… expect a black pianoforte in the middle. Sitting in front of it, the captain of the Silver Eagles, Nozel Silva in person.

It took her a few seconds before Vanessa realized that it was him playing that breathetaking melody. She never would have thought that Noelle’s stoic and expressionless older brother would be such a talented pianist. According to Yami, Nozel Silva has no love for music, didn’t have any hobbies in general. But according to Yami, Magna and Asta were incredible singers and after hearing them, Vanessa had no idea if captain Yami was just tone deaf or if he just loved to make fun out of everyone.

He was definitely wrong about Nozel. And his face right now wasn’t cold at all. It wasn’t full with thousands expressions either. Well, Vanessa never had the chance to see that handsome man often, but that expression right there… It was soft, a bit sad maybe, but relaxed, as if nothing could happen to him right now. As if he wasn’t a prince and even Head of House, as if he wasn’t the captain of an old, royal knight squad.

As if, in this very moment, he was just… Nozel Silva.

Vanessa had no idea how long she stood here, hidden behind the door and peeking. Just listening to Nozel playing, his fingers gliding, almost dancing on the piano keys. It was like something called out to her, for something that wasn’t really awake yet. Vanessa had no idea what it was and at that moment, she didn’t care.

But of course, it had to end. Just as Nozel stopped and stood up, Vanessa heard footsteps coming down the hallway. She run, afraid to be discovered, but somehow still enchanted by the melody she just had heard.

Nobody discovered her in that lonely hallway back then, but Vanessa was unable to forgot Nozels breathetaking melody.

♣♣♣

Secretly, Vanessa came back to the Silver Eagles Headquarters, more often than she would have liked. But that melody was like haunting her. Even more when she just imagined Nozel playing it.

But why? Why was she just that obsessed with music from a piano, played by a man that wasn’t even her type?

It was really bugging her more than it should, so Vanessa decided that she had to go back to figure it out.

At least, that was the excuse she gave herself back then.

So, Vanessa went back a second time. And a third time. And many times again and again. Just to hear Nozel playing at that pianoforte.

Slowly, she didn’t really cared about her lame excuse anymore. The secret of Nozel Silva was a far better one. She could see how he was when he was playing, as if the pianoforte was the key to unlock the real Nozel Silva, who the person was behind that cold mask on a statue.

It wasn’t always the same melody he played, but all of them were beautiful, calling something out in her. Vanessa had no idea why.

The tenth time she came, between two melodies, it happened. Nozel looked up and saw her. Vanessa was so surprised from that unexpected reaction that she froze for a minute. She couldn’t move and he didn’t made any gesture either. As if they both turned into statues.

Their eyes locked and diving into his soft purple eyes was like a tiny window on another world. On the real Nozel Silva. More complex than the cold mask. It was like a firework of emotions glancing in those purple orbs.

A call, somewhere, from someone, unimportant, stopped their intense glaring. And Vanessa immediately run. Suddenly she was afraid. She didn’t know why, she didn’t of what or of whom, but she wanted to get out of here as fast as possible.

But it wasn’t relief she felt once she was back home at the Black Bulls Hideout. Instead, she felt guilty…

♣♣♣

Three weeks later

She didn’t came back for three weeks. Almost a month. She was afraid. Afraid to have hurt Nozel somehow, afraid to have destroyed something, even though she had no idea what that something was.

Which was stupid. Why would Nozel be hurt by her reaction? He must be angry at her to have spied on something private and evidently important for him. But her instinct told her that it wasn’t that, for some unknown reason.

To proof her stupid instinct that she wasn’t afraid, Vanessa finally got a grip of herself and went back. It wasn’t that she missed those melodies, that she missed to watch Nozel Silva playing them, showing his true self while his fingers glided on the piano keys.

But just as Vanessa entered the room with the pianoforte again, she admitted that she was wrong. She missed the melodies, she missed the mystery of the real Nozel Silva, she missed him. She had no idea why, it was a fact.

He was there. Nozel looked up as she entered. No need to hide, he saw her three weeks ago. Vanessa took a deep breath and closed the door.

Nozel looked like he was waiting for her. Vanessa wanted to doubt it, after all, why would he wait for her. But something in his eyes stopped her doubts before they could form. She couldn’t pinpoint what, it was just there.

For a while, they just stared at each other. Eyes locked, just like three weeks ago. But this time Vanessa didn’t flee, even though a new fear was nagging her.

Please, don’t chase me away, handsome.

She didn’t even know why she was scared of that. She just… was.

Nozel didn’t say anything, he just gestured at a chair near the pianoforte. Vanessa hadn’t seen it before.

But it was like he was allowing her to stay in the bubble of his secret. The fear disappeared to give place for relief as Vanessa sat on the chair.

Nozel turned towards the pianoforte and began to play. The very first melody Vanessa heard him play. Vanessa smiled as she closed her eyes, savouring the beloved melody.

♣♣♣

Weeks passed. Vanessa now came almost every day secretly to the Silver Eagles Headquarters to hear Nozel play the pianoforte.

At first, none of them talked. Just silence between them. It was a bit awkward, honestly. At least for Vanessa, who knew what Nozel was thinking. But still, it wasn’t a heavy silence, it wasn’t a pressure.

It was just so foreign, like another world. A prince playing piano secretly to a witch. No one would ever think about a scene like that. It was already strange in reality and Vanessa doubted that anyone would have thought to write something like that in a novel or something.

Sometimes, Nozel was the first in the room. Vanessa would have thought that he would already began to play at the time she came. But no, he always seemed like he was waiting for her. Touching, in his own way. Not to mention that Vanessa wouldn’t lie that she felt honoured about it. That a handsome prince was waiting for.

Other times, she was the one who came first. And then, until Nozel came, Vanessa was afraid that he wouldn’t come. It scared her somehow more than it should, but she couldn’t help it. She came to love those strange, but lovely music moments between them both. To her relief, Nozel always came.

Vanessa had no idea how long those meetings lasted. It was like time didn’t matter when she was listening to the melodies Nozel played on the pianoforte. But it was always dusk, sometimes even the start of the night, when it was over.

Like today. After the echo of the last note vanished, Nozel and Vanessa stood up. Just a glance at each other, a nod and they left. Until next time.

But Vanessa couldn’t help to want more than that. She had no idea what that more even was. She just… felt that way.

“Thank you.”

Her first words since she discovered Nozel playing this pianoforte.

The captain of the Silver Eagles flinched. Looking at her blankly. For a moment, Vanessa feared to have destroyed what they had. Whatever that was.

But then Nozel looked down, whispering a soft, “You’re welcome.”

His first words since she came to listening to him playing this pianoforte.

They left each other after that. Nothing else was said.

But Vanessa couldn’t help but feel that they somehow made an important step forward.

She was thinking of his voice. That soft whisper. That didn’t sound like the cold captain, those strict, serious words that Yami made fun of, that Noelle was sad to hear, but who didn’t stop her to care for her older brother.

That voice right now wasn’t masked by cold. It wasn’t masked at all. A little sad, a little grateful… and if Vanessa was being honest, also surprisingly sexy.

She wanted to hear his voice again.

♣♣♣

“Hello there, handsome.”

“Good evening, miss Enoteca.”

“How many times did I ask you to call me Vanessa?”

“Too much.”

“Stop being so proper for a minute, you can relax.”

Nozel didn’t answer, turning away to try to hide his blush. Vanessa giggled. It was always a threat to see him blush, to see any other expression than the cold mask he used to wear outside of this room.

After her thank you and his you’re welcome from a few days ago, they started to talk more. First it was only greetings and goodbyes. But Vanessa quickly attempted more conversations. It was mostly her who talked, Nozel was way more restraint with his words.

But never with his music.

He sat down in front of the pianoforte, but waited for her to sit down as well before playing. Like always. Vanessa didn’t know if it was just polite, but she greatly appreciated the gesture. She wasn’t really used to be treated with respect by people who were nobles or even royals.

Between the plays, Vanessa always asked the name of the play, the tricks to do some passages, the difference between the white keys and the black keys. Not that it interested Vanessa in particular, but she wanted to talk with him so much. The hidden secrets behind his usual cold mask. The more time she spend with Nozel, the more she wanted to know about him. The real him.

Nozel answered her with a few words, but the way he talked about the melodies he was playing and the technologies of pianos in general… It was like he loved talking about his hobby. He opened to her not much, but those tiny bits gave Vanessa the wish to open to him as well. If he let her enough inside his true world… would she feel brave enough to tell him about her past? The cage?

Vanessa was surprised that her answer was yes. She felt that with time, she would tell him and she even wanted to. She wanted him to open to her and she wanted to open herself to him. She felt something that told her that it was somehow the right thing to do.

Wasn’t it strange? Her own squadmates, her family didn’t learn about her past from her and yet Vanessa was willing to tell it to a complete stranger.

But was he really a stranger?

Vanessa watched Nozel, his fingers gliding on the piano keys, his face almost unreadable, while his eyes clearly shows that he loved what he was doing.

No, he wasn’t a stranger.

And Vanessa would make sure that they would become more than just some acquaintances.

♣♣♣

The day they opened more was after the attack of the Eye of the Midnight Sun. After captain Dorothy Unsworth told Noelle the truth about the death of her late mother, Acier Silva…

“Why couldn’t you tell it yourself to Noelle?” Vanessa asked softly. She was clearly wondering, but she suspected that it was more than just not wanting to.

“I can’t.”

“There are things that are difficult to say, handsome.”

“It’s not… that I don’t want to. I really do, but… it’s not only about the heaviness of this truth. It’s also… something else.”

Nozel put a hand on his throat while saying those words. He looked scared, as if he feared he had told too much.

Vanessa had no idea what it meant. She was very curious to learn more about this secret, but she wouldn’t pry. It clearly was a too heavy topic for Nozel to just talk about.

“You don’t need to tell me. If you want, wait until you feel ready.”

“I… thank you, Vanessa.”

She blushed. It was the first time he called her by her name.

Nozel didn’t say anything else, he just began to play the next melody. The first one she ever heard him play. Even if it wasn’t from too long ago, Vanessa felt somehow nostalgic.

“I never asked the name of this one”, Vanessa said softly as he finished.

“It’s called The River flows in you. It’s… it was my mother’s favourite.”

There was definitely sadness in his voice. Vanessa knew that Noelle missed her mother, despite the fact that she has no memory of her. The same must apply to Nozel and he has memories of Acier Silva. How terrible has it been for him? Losing his mother and become the next Head of House Silva at fifteen, while still grieving?

Did he even had time to properly grieve?

“Did your mother teached you how to play piano?”

“Yes, she had a passion for it. My mother loved music, she was sad that would never be a good singer. Something all four of us inherited from her. But she was an amazing pianist. When I began to show some interest in this instrument, my mother made extra time so she could teach me herself. I was the only one who was interested. Nebra and Solid weren’t interested into learning to play piano. Neither was Noelle. But she had a preference for the harp.”

That explained why Noelle insisted that she got this expensive big harp in her room, despite the fact that her room at the Hideout wasn’t that big.

“Those moments with mother are some of my favourites memories of her,” Nozel continued. It was the first time that Vanessa heard him talk this much. “She loved teaching me and I loved spend time with her like that. Even when I didn’t need it anymore, we still managed to find time for those lessons. I never stopped even after her death. I was just… always alone. Until you…”

Nozel looked away, clearly flustered to have confide all of this. But he couldn’t hide his pink cheeks and the subtle tears in his eyes.

Vanessa had grown a habit to tease him since they started talking during those meetings. But in this very moment, she couldn’t. Even while feeling uneasy, she couldn’t.

She was touched, because he told her such an important part of himself.

She was also sad, because it was so obvious that Nozel still missed his mother. It was years ago, over a decade and yet he seems that he still wasn’t over it. So, this is how it was when you have a good relationship with your mother.

Vanessa never knew that.

“It’s sad that you had to lose your mother so young. It’s nice that you had such a loving bond with her. I wish I had the same with mine.”

“What do you mean?”

Vanessa looked up. Nozel was looking at her, curious, concerned.

For the first time since they started their meetings like that, their eyes locked.

Vanessa couldn’t turned her head, captivated by his intense glance. Nozel had purple eyes, just like hers. But it was a different shade. A metallic purple, somehow cold but not really.

Finral told her once that eyes were a mirror to the soul and she had to admit that her best friend was right. There was no mask over those eyes, they hid nothing. They showed care, compassion, a bit of fear, a lot of sadness, a will to protect, some carving for affection maybe… and something else that just couldn’t be named yet.

Nozels glance was like an invitation. A hand reached, a door opening. If she would confide to him, he would not back away. He would listened.

Vanessa wanted that and it this very moment, she wanted it more than anything.

So she told him everything. Her past, her cage, her loneliness, how she find a home with the Black Bulls, how she got back and got Rouge how her relationship with the Witch Queen, somehow her mother, wasn’t anything like a mother loving her child.

How she still wasn’t sure if she had come to terms with her past.

Which she only realized while telling him. How odd was that?

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything, Nozel.”

He really didn’t need to. His eyes said more than thousands of words.

Nozel took her hand. He hesitated a bit, but still took it. Vanessa let him be, even intertwining their fingers. Nothing more needed to be said.

Vanessa couldn’t tell why yet, but she just knew that they both took an important step with whatever was happening between them.

♣♣♣

The attack on Spade was in three days. Soon, they were going to defend the Clover Kingdom and even more, go to Spade to safe captain Yami and captain William, to also stop the devils taking over the world.

Nozel would go. He was one of the strongest in the Clover Kingdom and given that his mother was killed and cursed by Megicula, he also had a very personal reason to went to this land of cold and winter.

Vanessa would go. All of the Black Bulls wanted to safe their captain and they will. That was their first reason, their personal reason, but not their only one. Captain William also had to be saved, the devils wouldn’t go on rampage on the world and the Clover Kingdom would not know the taste of defeat.

The two of them still managed, during all those preparations for the upcoming attack, to find time for their music moments.

Vanessa knew that it was important, for Nozel and for her. She was worried about him, she hoped that he would come out alive out of this raid just as much that she hoped her family would come out of it alive.

She didn’t know what she felt towards him, if it was friendship or maybe even something else, but one thing was sure. She didn’t wanted to lose Nozel. The mere thought was terribly frightening.

They didn’t talked much during their last meeting before Spade. Nozel played and Vanessa listened. The melodies were full of hope and definitely had more joy than them right now. But they needed it, to have hope for a happy outcome, whatever would happen in Spade. Vanessa was certain that they would win.

Because she had no idea what they will do if they didn’t.

As the last note faded away, Nozel took a deep breath and softly took her hand as well. Vanessa almost sighed at the touch.

“Vanessa…”

“Yes, handsome?”

“When we’ll go… please be very careful.”

“You also, Nozel.”

They didn’t say anything else. It wasn’t needed.

But Vanessa couldn’t help but putting a soft kiss on his cheek. Nozel didn’t back away.

After all, it wasn’t a teasing kiss. It was already so much more than that. They both just haven’t realized it yet.

♣♣♣

“This is… you… all those years… I don’t know what to say!”

“You don’t need to say anything, Vanessa.”

His voice was soft while looking at her with a sad glance. Nozel looked like a burden was taken from him, or at least part of a burden.

But Vanessa couldn’t stop looking at the subtle scar around his neck.

They came back from Spade a few days ago. Happy of their victory, but still recovering from the trauma and all the different kinds of pains they felt and witnessed back there. Not to mention that even though they came back as victors in the Clover Kingdom, a mysterious, uneasy feeling was there since their return.

It was their first meeting since their return and after playing three or four melodies, Nozel told Vanessa about the full truth of his mother’s curse.

That he was there when Acier Silva fought Vanica, while he hold a newborn Noelle in his arms.

That he saw her getting cursed.

That he got a side effect of that curse.

That he searched desperately for a cure, for anything that could have saved his beloved mother.

That he had to watch her slowly fade away during one whole year, without being able to say anything.

That he couldn’t do anything against the rumours surrounding his mother’s mysterious sickness, coming from his own father, letting everyone believed that it was the afterwards of a difficult pregnancy and birth.

That he tried to stop his father to blame baby Noelle, but got slapped several times before giving up, finding himself unable in his grief and despair to find the energy to stand against his father and how hated himself for it.

That he watched his mother die, while he held her hand, becoming slowly cold and distant, wanting to protect his siblings at all cost but hurting them in the process, especially Noelle, leading him in a spiral of more guilt, cold, pressure and mistakes.

Nozel told her everything and Vanessa was shocked by what she heard. Shocked and sad and a bit angry and very compassionate.

“How did you… How did you managed to stand strong under all this pressure? I don’t think I could have handled it!”

“I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t think that I was strong… just desperate. I’ve made… so many mistakes. I was wrong for so long. I should have done things differently from the start… I’m not-“

“Stop it right there!” Vanessa protested and rushing to him to take his face between her hands. Nozel was too surprised by her sudden gesture to even take a few steps back.

“Don’t you dare say that you aren’t a good person, Nozel! You are! You made mistakes, but it was never out of malice! There were circumstances, anyone would have made mistakes under those. Nobody would have done it perfectly, nobody would have known what were the right things to do from the start, that would be inhuman to expect of anyone! You are a good person. You know you made mistakes, you apologized and you do anything to make up for them. I think that you’re strong for not denying them, for owning them. And… you love your siblings, you basically sacrificed yourself for them. You tried everything to save your mother and given the circumstances, I don’t think it was a failure in a way. Nozel, you’re clearly one of the strongest persons I know! What you need is to understand that you can lean on other persons.”

You can also lean on me.

Nozel just looked at her, surprised, his eyes watering. Vanessa didn’t looked away. She had no intention to.

“Nozel, you are a good person. You did so many things because you care. And… And I…”

And I love you.

Vanessa stopped. She didn’t want to blur those three precious word out like that.

She also didn’t want to blur them out while she was still trying to get used to her feelings.

It was in Spade when she realized that she was in love with Nozel. Vanessa had been worried for him as much as she had been worried for her friends. Especially during the fight against Lucifero.

Of course she hadn’t been really surprised about it. Nozel and her had bonded during their musical meetings. But…

The moment she heard captain Charlotte confess her love to captain Yami, the moment she finally realized that her own crush on Yami had been over for so long already, the moment she surprised herself that she wasn’t jealous at all of Charlotte, Vanessa knew that she loved Nozel.

She had no idea when it started, though. Maybe she hadn’t realized it before it was so different from the idea she had of love before. A naïve idea, now that she thought about it. It was nothing compared to her lost duckling crush on Yami, to her teasing towards Finral with Finesse and Noelle with Asta. It wasn’t as fluffy and pink and sweet and childish and simple and whatever her idea of love was.

What Vanessa felt for Nozel was deeper. The pink fluff was mixed with darker colours, it was way more bittersweet than sweet. It wasn’t only happy, it was also sad and hopeful. Another kind of simple, while hiding in a shell of complexity.

It was… somehow like the very first melody she heard him play.

Vanessa knew it was complicated. How ironic, she never cared about statuses and circles before, she never gave any importance to the problems of a relationship between a royal and a peasant when she teased Noelle about Asta.

But now that she was herself in that kind of situation, suddenly she cared. And unusually for her, she was overthinking this, despite the possibility that Nozel didn’t felt the same. Which was possible… but believing it hurt too much.

“You what?”

Despite the softness in his voice, Vanessa was taken aback from Nozels question. Slowly, she looked up again. She almost gasped as she saw the hope in his eyes. Vanessa could even see that he was trying very hard to fight against that hope.

Vanessa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had maybe not much to lose, but not nothing. And still, her instincts told her to take the risk. So she leaned up and softly put her lips on his.

Nozel didn’t back away. To Vanessa’s surprise and delight, he even didn’t hesitate to give in to the kiss, his hand slowly going up to her cheek.

Their lips parted, only to seal another kiss, a bit more passionate than the first one.

And another one. And another one.

They just couldn’t stop.

Vanessa had no idea how long she and Nozel kissed like there was no tomorrow. All she knew was that during those blessed minutes, she could heard his mother’s favourite melody clearly in her heart.

♣♣♣

The atmosphere in the kingdom had been strange those past few weeks. Their victory in Spade had some mysterious bitter taste since their return and it was like time was playing crazy.

But no one had an idea what was going on. Everything seemed so normal for now, which lead everyone to come back to their habits before the war, although they were still cautious deep inside.

Vanessa hated that atmosphere. Even the Bulls could feel it and their Welcome-Back-Party for captain Yami hadn’t been enough make this mysterious feeling disappear, sadly. It wasn’t really like before Spade…

One of the only places she felt more free from this atmosphere and – what a paradox – she was brave enough to talk more openly about it, was at the Silver Eagles headquarters, in that room with the pianoforte, when she was with Nozel.

Since their first kiss, it was fair to say that they were dating. Secretly, that is. There were to many factors, to many stupid rules and ill-intended people that would be ready to kept them apart if they learn about this relationship.

After all, a witch wasn’t a good option for a prince, even more a Head of House. Not to mention that love wasn’t even worthy to consider in such an alliance.

Well, that’s what most nobles and royals would say. Vanessa knew it wasn’t true, but she also knew that prudence was something Nozel and her needed to have. She didn’t wanted to give up on him, to risk their young relationship.

They haven’t said I love you to each other yet, but their feelings for each other were as clear as crystal.

Their dates were usually in this room. Sometimes outside, but Nozel always disguised himself when they met elsewhere and is disguising skills were still a work in progress. But Vanessa didn’t really care that their dates were mostly their music meeting.

The pianoforte wasn’t the only thing in this room anymore. Recently, there was also a very comfy couch and an elegant table, at which they had some romantic dinners already.

Nozel also made sure that there was a bed. Since the return from Spade, the Black Bulls had more missions than before and Yami had apparently decided to work them all to the bone for some reason.

It wasn’t rare that Vanessa would take a nap on that bed when she was here before Nozel. Sometimes, she even spent the night in this room. Alone. Because Nozel was still very respectful with her, refusing to take action without her consent.

Vanessa appreciated to have such a respectful boyfriend, she hadn’t known that with the guys she had dated in the past. But she would love if Nozel would take action one day. The more they dated, the more their love grew, she slowly wanted more than just kisses and cuddles.

Maybe she would take action instead.

“This one is new,” Vanessa commented as the last note of Nozels piano play faded away.

“Yes. I discovered it only recently. Apparently, it’s from a compositor from Spade who fled in the Clover Kingdom two centuries ago.”

“It is pretty. A bit haunting and nostalgic, but still lively somehow. How so?”

“I think the compositor wanted to share what he felt during his exile. Missing his own country, but grateful for the hospitality in Clover. I can’t really say for sure, but it felt like it.”

“I believe you’re right, honey.”

They went silent as Nozel started a new music piece. A bit more sad, more longing.

Vanessa sit closer to him. Closer than she needed to, but not as much as she would love to. She put a hand on his leg. Nozel didn’t stop his fingers dancing on the piano keys, but he blushed. Like always.

But this time, he didn’t back away. Vanessa smiled.

“Will you go home tonight?” Nozel asked quietly, as he finished playing.

“Hm… No. I’d rather sleep here. There was a fight at the Hideout, between Gauche, Asta and Finral. Oh, they probably sorted it out as we talk, but… Well, I fear it has something to do with the strange atmosphere that reigns lately in the kingdom and it really makes me feel uneasy.”

“I understand what you mean.”

Nozel and Vanessa had talked about that strange atmosphere more than once. Giving each other news about unusual details they find out about, about people they cared about reacting out of their habits due to those strange post-Spade feelings.

Vanessa was sad that she couldn’t really talk about it with her squadmates as well, except for Finral a bit. She didn’t why, she didn’t know how and she hoped that it wouldn’t last. The Black Bulls couldn’t break apart just because of some stupid mysterious atmosphere.

But she was grateful that she was able to talk freely about her worries with Nozel. He was also worried. It seemed to Vanessa that her beloved captain of the Silver Eagles was slowly more willing to talk about his own concerns with her.

Maybe opening up and talking about the truth concerning the curse his mother’s curse, about his own pressure and struggles he had to deal with for almost eighteen years had the same effect on him like opening a cage. Vanessa knew Nozel well today, she knew how much he needed to trust someone, how much he longed for affection despite having denied it himself for so long.

Somehow, it was also the same for Vanessa. That love she had for him, the sweet and even healthy relationship they had… She had no idea how much she wished for something like that before she already got it. Oh, Vanessa would have loved to have a boyfriend for a long time. First Yami, who she had learned would never consider her as a potential lover and more like a little sister. Then the few guys she dated in the past, who were never really interested in her than a few dates.

Until she met Nozel, Vanessa had come to conclusion that in the end, love wasn’t for her. How wrong she had been.

Despite the difficulties with their situation, she found herself happy with the romance she found with the captain of the Silver Eagles. All because the curiosity about some beautiful melody of a piano got the better of her.

It had been a good idea to peek into that almost empty room back then. About one year already…

“About that, honey…”

“What is it?”

“Well, to be honest with you, I don’t really wanna sleep alone tonight. Do you know maybe a certain prince or even better, some squad captain with silver hair and a handsome braid who would spent the night with me?”

That was very direct and bold, Vanessa knew that. Most of the time, Nozel wouldn’t catch on every attempt, even though he blushed basically every time she flirted with him.

But this time, even he should realize what she was implying right now. And he did.

Nozels face turned beet red, which was honestly so adorable. Vanessa giggled, even though she also blushed a bit. Just because she wanted more than just kisses and cuddles from, it didn’t meant that she wasn’t nervous about it. She was. Because this time, she was deeply in love and that fact only made it feel like a first time all over again.

“Are… are you sure, Vanessa?”

He was really so adorable when he was unsure and even more when he was clearly concerned while blushing.

“If I weren’t, I would have asked you just now, honey” Vanessa whispered, putting a soft kiss on his lips before teasing the area between his mouth and his nose. Now she could even feel his blush. “I would love to spend the night in your arms… But I will not force you as long as you’re not ready. Never.”

Vanessa closed her eyes, enjoying his warm presence, his subtle touches, his subtle lavender scent… Even if he won’t be ready tonight, she would enjoy Nozels simple presence to the fullest.

She heard him sigh deeply, before he put softly his hands on her cheeks. His lips brushed hers, as if he was trying a new thing out. But the next moment, he went fully on her lips, kissing her with a passion she hadn’t known from him before.

Vanessa had no idea how long they made out like that, but when they finally parted to catch their breath, they weren’t sitting at the piano anymore. They were lying on the bed and she already lost her Black Bull robe on the way.

She looked up to Nozel. There was a determination in his soft purple eyes she never really saw before. Or maybe it had been there already, she just never realized it. But also the love he had for her. It made her heart beat furiously in her chest.

With a soft yet seductive smile, Vanessa caressed his cheek, giggling as she saw him blush again. But Nozel also smiled, a soft and gorgeous smile. She loved those.

He went for her lips again. This kiss was so much softer, but still filled with a burning passion. Vanessa didn’t wanted to think anymore, she wanted all of her focus on Nozel, on him only.

It wasn’t long before they got rid of their clothes. And it wasn’t long either before they became one…

Hours later, Vanessa lied in Nozels arms, exhausted and happy. It had been fantastic. No other word seemed fitting enough to describe what she felt right now. Even fantastic felt almost like an understatement.

She didn’t regret it. If Vanessa ever had doubts before, they had disappeared by now. Despite the difficulties, despite the strange, mysterious atmosphere in the kingdom, being in Nozels arms, being loved by him and loving as well… it all felt just right.

“Seems that I had a good idea back then,” she whispered as she played with a strand of silver hair of her lover.

“What do you mean?”

“That I took  a peek in this room back then, while exploring your silver headquarters and get lost myself lost, kinda.”

Vanessa giggled and even more as she heard Nozels chuckle as well. His laughs were rare and never loud like some of the Black Bulls. It quickly became one of Vanessas favourite sounds, exactly because it was rare. Between two music pieces, she wasn’t only trying to make him blush but also to make him laugh.

“Yes… Yes, you’re right. It was a good idea.”

His whisper alone made her heart heavily flutter again.

Nozel caressed her cheek and leaned down to kiss her again. Only soft this time. Just like that. But Vanessa savoured it just as much as the fiery ones.

As they parted, Nozel hold her more tightly against him. “I… I want more of this.”

Vanessa giggled. She could almost hear the blush in his voice.

“We will have. I promise you. There is no way I’m going to give up on a handsome royal eagle.”

“Vanessa…”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

Now there was no way that she couldn’t be any happier right now. Not after he said those three precious words.

“I love you too, Nozel.”

♣♣♣

I had been difficult.

The situation in the kingdom first. The revelation of Lucius Zogratis, who took control of the Wizard King Julius Novachrono, had left absolutely no one unfaced.

A second battle against devils, the kinda revived Dark Triad, a new chaos in the kingdom, who wasn’t even totally recovered from all the aftermath of the Attack by the Eye of the Midnight Sun.

The Magic Knights, the whole Clover Kingdom and their allies had won in the end. But that victory had still been a bitter pill to swallow. Especially with the death of Julius Novachrono, who sacrificed himself again for their country. Only that he didn’t came back alive, this time…

Life had come back, everyone was now ready to face the future. But it had been clear as crystal that it would never be like before. Vanessa didn’t want to think too much about those dark days of battle and despair again.

What also had been difficult had been the revelation of her relationship with Nozel. One would have thought that with all the chaos and dark days occurred in the kingdom, the nobles wouldn’t have cared so much about the Head of House Silva being in love with the Drunken Witch of the Black Bulls, even intending to grow old with her.

But of course not. Apparently, the chaos in the kingdom even strengthened their grip on their ambitions and beliefs. Many asked for his hand in marriage or for his siblings hand. Heck, at one moment, his father returned and without even informing Nozel, basically pre-engaged him to three different foreign princesses, so that he could choose which one apparently.

Nozel didn’t want to hear any of it and he fought against the arrangements of his father. Vanessa helped him. There was no way she was letting her boyfriend getting chained to an arranged marriage, with some princess who wouldn’t love him.

That battle had been hard and the sudden coming out of secrecy even more. Without Nozel, Vanessa doubted that she could have handled to be in the middle of gossip and rumours, to be judged and let Nozel be judged for the simple fact that he loved her.

The reaction of the Black Bulls to their relationship had been funny. The noble’s reaction not at all.

But in the end, they had won. And that was what mattered today.

Even though today Nozel and Vanessa had no reason anymore to hide their love, they still continued to meet in that room with the pianoforte.

They couldn’t do otherwise. That room was were their story began and many of their best memories together were in there. As well as some of the important decisions they had made since they knew each other.

That room was like a sanctuary and they refused to stop continuing to spend time in there.

Nozel was playing his mother’s favourite piece again. With maybe a bit more joy than the first time she heard it, but Vanessa didn’t care. That melody was the first reason she was now here, with Nozel and she would love this music forever.

Vanessa sat closer to him than necessary, but honestly, why should a wife sit a few meters away from her husband when he played piano to her?

Yes, they were now married. Vanessa smiled while she glanced at the silver wedding bands that were on their left ring fingers.

They weren’t the only Silva couple with someone out of royal or noble circles though. Asta and Noelle were engaged, Zora and Nebra should soon come back from their honeymoon. Only Solid wasn’t with anyone for now and it seemed that the role of a happy single uncle who would spoil his future nephews and nieces was appealing to him.

Let’s hope he wouldn’t spoil them too rotten.

Vanessa put a hand on her belly. It was just a small roundness for the moment, but she couldn’t wait to finally hold their baby in her arms. She also couldn’t wait to see Nozel as a father. He was concerned if he would really be a good one, but Vanessa knew that he would be an excellent one.

Softly, while still holding her belly, she lied her head on Nozels shoulder. Vanessa heard him chuckle in affection, without stopping to play.

The melody she heard back then brought her to her current happiness.

[lythea-creation]

Back Home - Nadeen x fem reader

summary: (f/n) and Nadeen have known each other since childhood. But as (f/n) was forced to move away due to her parents' job, they kinda got out of touch. What happens when they finally reunite?

warnings: violence if you squint

word count: 1.101

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? Yes

---------------

Being back in my hometown after seven years was strange.

I had left my friends behind once again to follow my parents career.

I was still trying to get the hang of the time from the jetlag, fighting the constant exhaustion.

But my parents did not grand me a break to get used to being back. Instead I had to transfer to a new school in the middle of the year.

Standing in front of a class full of people who knew each other to get introduced. I just wanted to crawl back into my bed and make it all go away.

I did not bother to scan the faces of my classmates, but sat down as soon as I could.

Most people quickly fled the room when the school bell signaled the beginning of the break. I on the other hand took my time packing everything away. They did not need to notice how lost I was.

“(f/n)?” I looked up to see the face that belonged to the voice.

To my surprise her face seemed familiar. It still took me a few seconds to connect the dots though.

“Nadine”, I realized.

“So you do remember me after all”, she noted, wearing her signature grin.

She had grown so much since I had last seen her and yet it felt like old times again.

“I never meant to stop talking to you, you know? My phone got busted and I didn't remember your number”, I enlightened her.

“Seriously?”, she shot back. “I can't believe we got hit by technology.”

“Well … has never been our best friend”, I recalled.

“True”, she agreed. “Since when are you back?”

“A couple days. I haven't even finished unpacking yet”, I proposed.

“Need help with that?”, she offered.

“Can't say no to you coming over”, I supposed.

“I'll text my mom then and accompany you after school?”

“Sure!”

“Come on! I'll show you around campus”, she encouraged me.

From that moment on I did not dread school anymore. Nadeen and I started hanging out pretty much every day like we used to when we were kids. All of that only made me aware how much I had actually missed her.

I stuck with her when Sarah let her down. I was supporting her throughout the elections. I was finally a part of her life again after not talking to her for years.

After spending the night at her house we went to school together and I could not quite grasp it but something was off. The hallway was too quite.

Then I saw it. The way the election posters of the other candidates had been violated, only Nadeen's spared.

“What's going on?”, Nadeen wondered shocked.

“Looks like somebody wants to frame you”, I concluded.

Suddenly Sarah appeared, claiming that she needed to talk to Nadeen. But that did not happen as dozens of students came storming toward us, Marwa and Tasneem at the front.

I had only been at this school for a few weeks now, but it was obvious that trouble was close with those two around.

“You've messed with me. Now that's enough”, Marwa declared.

“Back away! I haven't done anything”, Nadeen proclaimed.

“So why don't you tell me why nothing has happened to your posters?”, Marwa requested.

“Do you really think I did that?”, Nadeen questioned. “It's obvious that someone else did it and is trying to put it on me.”

Tasneem laughed at that. “Oh, sure! You've been framed. You've been watching too many action movies, Nadeen.”

“Do you seriously think Nadeen would be this stupid?”, I intervened. “I mean … why should she leave her own posters unscathed to make her the culprit for everyone? She's smarter than this. Besides we were hanging out the whole time at her place. She has an alibi.”

“Because being with the newbie is such a reliable alibi”, Hiba taunted me. “Come on! You'd easily lie for her.”

“That's enough”, Marwa raged and grabbed Nadeen by the collar. “If you didn't do it, then who did, huh?”

Out of reflex I took a hold of Marwa's wrist to push her away from Nadeen. Now the former was glaring dangerously at me.

“Let go”, she growled.

I did, not wanting to anger her any further. Plus, I did not have any reason to hold on to her.

“How am I supposed to know who did it?”, Nadeen shot back. “I wasn't here when it happened.”

“This will have consequences”, Marwa threatened and walked off after sending another death glare our way. The others quickly followed, leaving Nadeen, Sarah and me behind.

“You okay?”, I worried.

“Yeah”, she assured me. “Thanks for standing up for me. Nobody's ever done that.”

“Always”, I promised, an encouraging smile planted on my face.

“So what did you want?”, Nadeen addressed Sarah.

The latter sunk her head. “Nothing”, she mumbled and left as well.

The next day we found out why. Sarah had been in on it, had actually partly been responsible for the vandalism.

Nadeen quickly walked off after confronted her with it, running outside for fresh air while chaos was erupting among the rest of the students. Of course I followed Nadeen.

I settled myself next to her on the bench.

“I can't believe she did that”, Nadeen mumbled.

“I'm sorry”, I proposed, placing my hand on hers in a hopefully soothing manner.

“Why do they all have to betray me? I just don't get it. What did I ever do?”, she ranted. “Everybody's always leaving.”

“You don't deserve that”, I remarked. “I'm sorry that I left you, too.”

“It wasn't your fault or even your choice”, she reminded me.

“Still ...”, I uttered.

“I'm just glad you're back”, she confessed, smiling softly at me.

“Me too”, I agreed.

Somehow I could not take my eyes off of her as she did neither.

“I don't ever wanna be separated from you again”, she proposed and inched closer to me.

“I'll do anything I can to assure that”, I whispered.

“You promise?”, she reassured.

I nodded.

All of a sudden she closed the last gap between us, her lips meeting mine.

For a moment we were in our own bubble, blending the madness around us out.

Everyone was too busy fighting inside to notice us kissing out in the open. For once I was grateful for their drama.

----------------

Guys! I finally made it! I hope it was worth the wait.

Tag List: @sunwoniie

[saturnaous]

hi. your turn. what if you talked about your ocs teehee. stares at you with sparkly eyes

ooohhhh. ohhhhhhh. hooohoohooohhh. you messed up. you messed up big time. I'm on my computer now and you have to bare this hellstorm you brought up. hoohhhh

okay first we're going over Morble. because he's been on my mind lately teehee.

okay where are my pictures of him hold on. hold ond

marby mooby mamb. . .

okay so he's three years old now. I have to say that. I made him a few days before my birthday. it's horrible. we were similar ages now I'm OLD and he's also a lot older now but at the same time he's NOT. why are you in sixth grade still marbs. why.

anyways. He was made after another spurt of my enjoyment of The Weekly Roll on webtoon; it's a dungeons and dragons type webtoon, Morble is inspired by Sir Becket(he's now Lord Becket. good for you Becket). Becket's a Paladin, Morble's a Paladin. I dunno. It's neat.

that's not the neatest part about Morble though! You see. He's from a modernish dnd-like world. so uhm. basically he's kinda boring. besides being like an orphan or whatever. wait no before I move on to other bits I'm just gonna go in order of what happens.

Morble's basically just a little guy. he's just a fella. uh. he has a brother and HAD. two parents OH ACTULLY I RELALY LIKE HIS PARENTS HOLD ON I HAVE DRAWINGS OF THEM.

Katty and Mavrick. I like them a lot. these are them at maybe like early to mid twenties? around the time they got together(they went to the same highschool but met in collage and really connected at that point. they're so awesome together). they are SO neat to me.

Kat is a nice lady; she's like 6'1 and has a real hearty laugh. She's so sweet and so cool I love her so much. Mavrick is fucking deranged. He's an absolutely spunky ball of chaotic energy. He has no self preservation skill and is just an absolute goober. He's great. Everytime I imagine these two I just think of the rabbits with the "rabbit obsessed with his giant girlfriend who's 4x times his size" because he IS. They are looking at eachother thinking "I love my wife". Marvrick you are so wife. it doesn't help that he took her last name. Katty and Maverick Moor. . .

Kat was a firefighter for the longest time. Mav was a chaotic fencer and fence instructor. he's stupid with it though. His ass didn't like wearing protective gear half the time because of his confidence and lack of preservation skills. He died of a collapsed lung oneday when Morble was about nine.

teehee. mav's a little fabric guy tho. he knits. he sews. he embroiders. uhhhmmm. In that second image of Morble up here with the purple background! He's wearing a red cloak! Maverick made it for him and was gonna give it to him for his birthday. neat. obviously he couldn't. Kat gave it to him because. Well. Yeah.

Morble had a hard time with his dad being dead. I mean. what's a 9 year old supposed to do when your dad dies. it kinda sucks. Kat was going over some family history and going through some old heirlooms and stuff. The Moor's are from a pretty long line of Paladins spanding at least 500 years back(heehoo. hold onto that information). Turns out! There's also a great helm made by one of these Paladins from 500 years ago. Katty pulled it out of storage or whatever and gave it to Morble because he thought he might like it. Because it's neat. Morble loved it. literally has never taken it off.

A couple months after Mav died, Kat died while on the job. kinda fucked up. It's totally my fault for that but. Morble doesn't have to know that. But sucks for him. his brother too but he's a 4yo he doesn't really. know what's happening. but still sucks.

Morble and his brother move in with their grandma and stepgrandma. I don't have anything on them. but yeah.

Fastforward when Morble's 12. bc they had to move they're in a new school and stuff. nobody knows about dead parents or any symbolism in anything. yeah. he's kinda bullied but he just kinda shrugs it off. he's not that kind of guy.

anyways. now we're getting tot he fun parts. Morble walks from school to his grandma's apartment. there's a neat little field kinda inbetween the walk. onepoint Morble noticed a little glimmer near one of the super old trees over there. dunno how he caught it but he did(plot reasonings are why). anwyays.

morble goes over. turns out it's a neat little ring. he grabs it.

BOOM. he fucked up. the ring is magic. he gets swallowed up into some weird current thing the only way I've thought about what it's like is. basically imagine the sky is a giant fuckingthing of water and you can't breathe. it feels like drowning.

once he gets oout of it and recovers from the drowning feeling or whatever. he's like. where the hell am I. Because it's completely different from where he just was. which was like a dewy day or whatever. right now he's in super tall fields with grass and shit.

well. heehoo. yk how I said paladins go back about 500 years in his family? well. heehoo. heehoo. guess what.

Magic ring was really fucking magic and wahoo! Time traveling. I know. Wild. I don't know what I was thinking when I made him do that but it's integral to his character now so I can't change it.

Turns out. there's a little Party down a head from the road he got spat out right next to. turns out. hoo boy. The paladin in the party is an ancestor of Morble's. Got the same helm and everything. turns out he's the guy who MADE the helm actually. His name is Hearth. Hearth Moor. he's pretty cool.

about. uhhh. I dunno maybe 10 years go by? yeah Morble basically gets situated to being 500 years offset from his actual timeline. he's been looking for a way to get back for the entire time but. there hasn't been much luck. so he's just chillin.

he's 22 at this point. He sticks with Hearth and the whole party which I only vaugely got. then they go to fight a red dragon for some reason. no biggie.

hearth fucking gets clobbered and dies. which sucks. they retreat. then morble has the bright idea of well. I'm gonna go fight this dragon myself and WIN. avenge him or whatever. like an idiot. you remember how your dad died, right, morby? you little fucker.

anyways.he goes and fights this dragon. and somehow! for whatever reason! motherfucker wins. chops off his head and brings it back into town. he almost died tho. bro's bleeding like all hell. so yeah he has to spend some time being not fucking dead.

okay you know how I did that serval vs brown tabby poll yesterday. well. that was on our next character, Coraline.

coraline. the baddie. she's so cool.

she's a serval now btw. the poll said so and I was digigng the design more than the brown tabby. anyways.

She's a bard! She's working at the tavern the party was staying at. She basically became Morble's nurse because. because. she'd sing him songs and shit. Her voice claim is actually. uhhhhhhh. The son Rich by Cosmo Sheldrake and the other person that worked on it. yeah.

Coraline joins the party whenever they get back on their feet. The Tavern keeps the dragons head because Morble said they could. They go from 'The Hollow Tavern' to 'The Hollow Dragon's Tavern'. p neat.

uh. yeah. Next two years Coraline and Morble get kinda close. they like eachother but Morble's fucking stupid. he's a shy little himbo. what a goober.

that's basically all I got on canon for him tbh. I like to twirl him around in my head. I have one pathway where Marby finds a way to go back to his timeline. when he's 12. he was missing for about two months tho. 12 years turned into 12 weeks. yeah. sucked for everyone around them. but mostly morble because he's now 24 in a scrawny 12 yearold's body and going to 6thgrade classes. and everybody thinks he's 12 and doesn't know where he's been for like two months and he won't tell anyone because nobody would believe him if he shrugged and said Yeahhh I picked up a magic ring and I was stuck 500 years ago for 12 years! No biggie!! yeah. Morble just kinda goes about like tho after that and becomes a highschool history teacher and works at the local museum. he's really neat. He also is super funky when it comes to his classroom decorations because he has a wall of swords and an entire replica of the suit of heavy armor he used to wear. he's also deranged and under his clothes and leather jacket he has like. jackchains, chainmail(lining his jacket), greaves, and. I think something else but I forgot what. he's wild. I just really like to put him in the salad spinner of my head and think about him with things teehee. twirls hair kicks feet.

yeah. you fucked up with this ask tho. I have more. I'm talking about Harry now. maybe Kinglen if I feel like it. let me get my things fo harry.

this be harry. harry hearthorn. I'm obsessed with him. he's so fucking funny. you'll have to excuse the things of Alphonse and stuff in that last one. I'm gonna be using. him for dnd <3

I love Harry. He's from a military type country or whatever. it's. it's not the best. they're like. I don't know how to describe it. think of amestris but less "we wanna take over the world" and more "we like war and we want more" or whatever. you understand. it's a weird one.

there's like three main branches of jobs. military, research and development slash the sciences, and basically 'entertainment'. entertainers are literally just everything that doesn't fall into the other catagories. these are like artists and show runners and broadcasters and radio hosts and other things of the sort.

school works in this place by being 12 years just like 'merican schools(EAGLE SCREECH GUNSHOTS FIREWORKS). but the first 8 you are just doing general stuff. the 9 and 10th are for pinning down what branch you're going into. and 11 and 12 are getting experience in your field. this is mainly getting mentorships and other stuff, witht he execption of the military branch

Military only has one place to go. If you're going into the military at 16, you're goign STRAIGHT To tht emilitary at 16.

Harry's mom was in the R&D branch, Harry's dad was in the military. they met at a bar. they're funny. both bisexual which is REALLY funny because Harriet is ALSO bisexual and Harry is bicurious-aspec. harry's mom is 6'1 btw. Harry's 6'5. justlittle stuff. I think I named her Maria. his dad is named Henry.

anyways. Harry and Harriet., they are siblings. Harriet is two years older than Harry. though it's funny bc their full names are Harrison and Harriet. but. Harriet is Harry. And Harrison is Harriet. they had a sense of humor.

ATM harry is 31. Harriet is 33 and a senior broadcaster at one of the shownetworks or whatever. Maria is retired. Henry died while on duty when Harry and Harriet were lke 12 and 14.

anyways. Harry wanted to go into the science or military branches. like his parents. His scores were leaning more to being althetic and shit so he got put into the military. he's been there like. ever since. he barely goes home bc he feels no need and because there's an active war(a really long one. . . neither side will stop. . . they really like war) and he just. didn't feel the need. but they forced him to go home a few times when he got like. shot and stabbed and stuff. yeah he's a g like that. did I mention he's a first lieutenant btw. he's a first lieutenant bc I said so.

anyways. his downfall is when onetime. after making a bad call sends the part of his platoon he's with through a part of whereever they are. one fo the younger guys. steps on a landmine. out of like, 14 soliders, only three of them survive. harry, someone else who was closer to the mine, and a younger one that was farther away and practically unscathed. Harry lost his leg and most of his hearing in his right ear and all of it in his left. teehee

anyways. after his main amount of recovery. he's still in the military but they don't put him on any active duty despite him BEGGING for it. because of the PTSD mainly and because he's depressed as fuck secondarly. yeah. basically it sucks for him really bad. he gets put on staff duty indefinetly. also I have to mention Harry fucks. severially. I mentioned that he's aspec. like. arospec. he is not acespec. he fucks.

anyways. basically he's depressed as fuck because. he accidently killed a bunch of guys and ptsd is kicking his ass. he tries to drink his worries away and doesn't care about what kind of trouble he gets into with the drinking and getting caught with girls and stuff. he gets put onto suicide watch after an incident with a lower ranking guy. yeah.

at that point they decide the best option is to just. give him an honorable discharge. so they do that. Harry has to move in with his mom and sister. he does that. everything sucks for him. yeah

at some point after his birthday he decides well. this fucking sucks. I hate this. I'm leaving. he grabs like his old uniform, and money, and a pack, and a pack of smokes and just. hitchhikes. out of the country. without fucking telling anyone. he calls Harriet and his mom after he's out of the country like "heyyy. I'm. I'm out west or whatever. gonna. figure something out here." and they're like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN. WHAT THE HELL. but he writes them letters and calls them ebcause they can't really do jack about it. yeah

so. basically he's just hitchhiking till he gets to another country. which he does and then basically he tried to do some freelance work or something. then he finds a little group who are gonna basically take down the government. I dunno that's where the campaign is gonna start methinks. Harry might get himself a funny little dragonborn boyfriend. yeah. okay I have to shower and. actually do stuff teehee I rolls out of bed and went straight to my puter to talk about these guys. so teehe. I'm so hungry I need water.

OH OH HOLD ON. uhhmmm here's old art of morble. spannign from 3 years ago to a couple months ago. teehee

neat. the third one is the very very VERY first thing I did of him ever in existance. second one is one I did and the first one is a redraw from months later. the last one is me just doodling him months ago and pinning down his design again. I changed his helm bc it made no sense.

OKAY I’M GOING I’M GOING FALLS TO THE FLOOR AND ROLLS AWAY LIKE A LOG

[saraminia]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Thank you for tagging me @apothecarose 💞

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope. Although my mom's called Riitta so it's kinda similar.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday when I looked at this picture.

So basically I cried about Noah and how much I love him. Seems to be a nearly daily occurrence nowadays. 😔

3. Do you have kids?

I have two. My son is 17 and my daughter is 14. And they're the best kids in the whole world.

(yes, I have their permission to post their pics freely and I'm a proud mama so why not)

4. What sports do you play/have played?

Sadly I never played a sport. (I was never into sports or exercise when I was a kid. Really not until after my daughter was born. That's when I started HIIT training and I did it really intensely for several years. Up until my mental illness put a stop to the training. I hit rock bottom with depression and could hardly even get out of bed. I've been mentally in a very good place for a few years now, but sadly haven't managed to pick up training again.)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I mean.. yeah? Not intentionally, but I'm sure I do.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I'm extremely unobservant unfortunately. I can meet someone and after five minutes not remember anything about them, especially about their appearance. But I think a really radiant and/or warm smile is something that gets my attention.

7. What’s your eye color?

Greyish green.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both, but happy endings are lovely.

9. Any talents?

Nope. None. lol

10. Where were you born?

In Finland. Same town where I'm currently living. I've been here and there and lived away from here for like fifteen years, thirteen of which in Sweden, but I returned home about eight years ago.

11. What are your hobbies?

No time for hobbies really. Gotta tumblr for several hours every day lmao. I mean, I write, but not very well. I take walks, often in nature. But mostly I just study and work.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have cats, two old ladies called Mimmi and Simba. They're both girls (despite the name) and both 11 years old. I've had them since they were six months old. They are from the same home, from two different litters, born five days apart. So different mothers, father(s) unknown, so they could be sisters. Either way they have always been together.

13. How tall are you?

164 cm which is about 5'4"

14. Favorite subject in school?

Maths and English (as a second language)

15. Dream job?

I don't think I ever had one. I am studying health care and will be a public health nurse when I'm done, but I wouldn't call that a dream job. It's just a job. I gotta do something so that's what I chose so I at least know there's always going to be work for me. But tbqh if I won the lottery, I would never work again. I'm not sure I'd even finish my studies, since I already am a nurse, it's only the specializing studies I'm still doing.

Oh man, am I supposed to tag fifteen people? Ok I'll try @ramonaflow @flowertrigger @a-noble-dragon @jesuisici33 @carolrain @maryp50 @statueinthestone @goodiecornbread @thisbuildinghasfeelings @rmd-writes @rainbowcoloredpalmtrees @jettestar @grapehyasynth @reasonandfaithinharmony @beaiola

[random2908]

Today is my brother's first birthday since his death. I don't want it to go unremarked. We are working toward some approximation of justice for him, as best we can, but we don't know how much we're going to get.

I know I haven't been around on tumblr much. I already wasn't around much leading up to it--because a month before he died, I had my big African safari trip (the last time I saw him!); and right before that a friend was visiting from out of town for over a week; and the month before that I was moving into a new house; and the two months before that I was selling my old apartment and buying my new house; and the two months before that I was settling into a new job; and the month before that I was moving cross-country out of the apartment I'd lived in for 17 years; and the two months before that I was doing job interviews and traveling to visit my brother and my parents; and the month before that I was quitting my awful job; and the month before that I was... idk, kinda in an emotional limbo of planning to quit but not having done it yet; and the month before that I was on my walking trip in England; and the month before that I was being driven to quit my awful job, including being forced to work for 22 hours straight on a weekend, and a screaming match with my boss in the hallway. So that was a huge 13 months with very little down-time.

While I was at my awful job I certainly did spend a lot of time on tumblr--as well as immediately prior to that, 8-10 years ago, when I was unemployed. (I've had this tumblr for, I guess, 10 1/2 years now, since way back when I was originally giving up on working and sliding into unemployment due to a mix of burn-out and immune diseases.)

But my brother's death shifted a lot of things for me, just in terms of where I was spending my leisure time, and maybe those shifts are permanent. Or maybe they'd already been coming for a year before that.

And I've been so, so busy at work, since then. Mostly because of good things! I'm the second senior-most scientist on a very successful project, and the senior-most scientist on my project can't do any work travel during the school year due to his family situation (he has a small kid, and his wife is a professor). So for 9 months out of the year, I'm the one being sent to do customer installations, and to lead off-site field testing. And I'm being fairly good about not working long hours... But even working 40 hours a week is exhausting when some of those hours are overnight tests, and sometimes I'm away from home on field-testing trips for up to two weeks at a time. The company springs for decent mid-range hotels--not luxurious by any means, but I'm not camped out in a scary motel or anything (except maybe at one point while road-tripping my equipment to a test site). But even so, just being away from home so much is hard.

Out of the past 3 months I've spent 4 weeks away from home for a total of 3 business trips, plus nearly a week on a couple short family trips (eclipse and Passover). It's just... a lot. So yeah, my leisure time and activities are just that much more constrained, just because my attention, even more than my time, is so constrained.

Anyway. I'm still here, occasionally. I still enjoy the time I spend here, but I'm spending 15-30 minutes here twice a week now. So I'm not seeing most of the stuff, and I have close to no interest in any of the more serious posts because my life is so serious. Maybe in the next few months things will calm down and I'll be back more. Maybe things will calm down and I'll pick up a new hobby instead. Maybe things won't calm down, idk.

But I just wanted to say, my life is a soap opera right now, almost entirely in ways I can't talk about here, but not everything is bad. And the reasons I'm not around are most immediately because of good things in my life, even if the whole evolving situation with my brother's death is weighing on me in the background. And I'm still around tumblr occasionally, I'm still seeing like 5% of the jokes on my dash, and I appreciate that they're there when I'm in the mood for them.

[katierosefun]

tagged by @b1uetrees! thank you for the tag buddy!

do you make your bed? i try, the operating word being try. i used to be really good at making my bed, but for the last few weeks, i've been lucky to just straighten out my sheets and pile my pillows on the right way before darting around to make myself breakfast and wash my face.

what's your favourite number? i've always really liked 12 for some reason. maybe because i associate it with the year of the dragon, which is the zodiac year i'm born in?

what is your job? i'm a second-year law student. i think the closest i have to a job right now is that i'm a student attorney (which has been very exciting, because it's definitely aligned with what i want to do after graduation), and this coming summer, i'll be working at a law firm (which is also exciting. everyone pray i don't screw up)

If you could go back to school would you? i mean, would i pursue more education after getting my current degree? i'm not sure. i've played with the idea of getting an mfa for a while now, but also? i think mfa's cost so much money, and the rewards aren't always very tangible. so it depends on how financially comfortable i am and if i can figure out a way to get into publishing without an mfa haha!

can you parallel park? i don't know how to drive, so nope

a job you had that would surprise people? i always get questions about what the heck a costume stock keeper does, but for a short while, i was a costume stock keeper. which basically meant that i organized the costume stock room in my college's theater department. it was really cool, because we had a huge stock room, and my bosses were people who actually worked in a lot of really cool movies, so that was neat!

do you think aliens are real? i have to think so! like, the universe is so big--how can there not be other things out there?

can you drive a manual car? i can drive a golf car. does that count?

what's your guilty pleasure? not really certain if i feel guilty about this yet . . . i guess watching kinda bad old kdramas? (like . . . i know there are some tropes that we've left behind in the early 2010s/early 2000s, but what can i say--some classics are classics, even if some of the stories wouldn't fly in 2024.)

tattoos? none right now, although i've been wondering if i want to get a tattoo before i graduate law school. i think i want to get a constellation somewhere on my bicep. but also, i get so scared of something being permanent and how skin changes over the years, so maybe not :/

favourite colour? i'm currently digging really deep greens lately!

favourite type of music? i think i've been really loving a lot of moody ballads and alternative rock . . . and also whatever the hell the music in alien stage is right now!

do you like puzzles? nope--i'm not patient enough for puzzles a;shdfasdf

any phobias? i am terrified of spiders. i don't care if they're smaller than me--they have eight legs, i have two, and also the way they move freaks me out so much oh my god why do they move like that ! !!

favourite childhood sport? i really liked to swim as a kid, and i still do

do you talk to yourself? yeah--mostly when i'm annoyed or stressed. i've been known to quickly mute myself on zoom meetings or make more of an effort to just shut my mouth whenever i'm waiting for someone to come onto zoom, because i once started muttering "jesus christ, what a way to make a first impression--i can't believe you're late" and i didn't realize that there was? a little thing that was? making a transcript of everything i was muttering? if my boss ever read that transcript, they've been kind enough to never mention it--so!!!! anyways!!! i'm working on that lol

what movie(s) do you adore? i really love kogonada's films (columbus and after yang are probably the major ones), and i also love the korean adaptation of little forest. and also beginners. in general, i think i love films with a lot of green coloring and also just enough moments of quiet to make you feel comforted! or at least--better said--i like movies that feel like you've had a conversation with someone.

coffee or tea? coffee for when i want to wake up and tea for when i want to wind down!

first thing you wanted to be growing up? a writer :) or, at the very least, a well-known storyteller.

no pressure tags: @kckenobi @lightasthesun @l-tyrell @reese-haleth

[milkywaygg]

Baby Don’t Go Epilogue

AN: Cute little epilogue that I hadn’t thought of at the time, but thought it would be a cute little ending and see how Miguel’s thoughts had changed now that Linnie’s taking care of Luna. I believe the rest of the story is posted onto here, but I’ll reblog a link later if needed. For now, enjoy. 

A few weeks later, Miguel had finally gotten the proper rest he deserved and was back to his office job in the garbage company, occasionally working the trucks again as people called out. Once Miguel had finished with his recovery, he and Yolonda sat down and booked their first marriage counseling appointment, and for the first time in almost 3 months, Yolonda gave him a small smile that made his heart flutter.

“Thank you for agreeing to do this with me, Miguel. I think it will be good for us. Figure out where we stand next.”, Yolonda said quietly as the two sat in the living room together, just like the old times.

‘Yolonda…”, Miguel started, unsure of what to say, “Do you….still love me? You know that I will never love Nora the same way that I love you, right?”

Yolonda was silent for a moment as she stared at Miguel. As much as she wanted to jump back into his arms and pretend as if the last 3 months didn’t happen, she also hesitated for a good while. Remembering how nasty Nora was with Linnie, Yolonda wasn’t sure what would happen if she immediately forgave Miguel. She knew that she and her husband didn’t always see eye to eye, and was confident that more conflicts were to arise.

“I-I think so yes. We’ve been together for almost 50,000 years after all. I mean, that’s a hell of a lot more than what Nora and Linnie could say. Poor man, I hope he’s ok.”, Yolonda muttered the last part of herself, noticing Miguel staring off into space for a quick second, “Miguel?”

“Hmm?”

“You thinking about that baby?”

“What no?! I gave her up, didn’t I? I’m not concerned about no baby.”, Miguel said unconvincingly, as Yolonda smirked slightly.

“Come on. Don’t tell me the daddy instincts hadn’t kicked in. Surely, you care somewhat. I mean, you were pretty hell-bent on making sure Linnie doesn’t abuse this child.”

“Yeah well I mean, that’s what a decent person does, doesn’t he? Even if I hadn’t know this child, I wouldn’t give her up to some predator.”, Miguel exclaimed, taking out his phone and opening up Linnie’s contact information, “But…I guess it wouldn’t hurt to check up on the little one. See how she and Linnie are getting along.”

   After getting the approval and new address from Linnie, Miguel poofed out of the mansion after telling Yolonda he’d be back after a while, promising no bar visits on the way to or back. The street he teleported too wasn’t nearly as nice as the old neighborhood the Cosmas had previously moved in, wih some street lamps flickering and a few bars not too far his designated building. However, given Linnie’s financial situation, Miguel had no choice but to give Linnie the benefit of the doubt.

He entered a tall, pink building, which was nicely cleaned and kept compared to the rest of the block. The receptionist guided him onto the 7th floor in front of door 701, where Linnie had said was where he was living now. Miguel smiled softly as he knocked the door, hearing baby squeals and soft cooing from a man. Hearing the baby’s laughing get a little louder, Linnie had opened the door, smiling as he held Luna, who flapped her baby wings excitedly.

“Hi there. How are you? Come in.”, Linnie urged gently, as he tightened his grasp onto Luna, “Alright honey, we’re not ready to fly just yet. Maybe when you’re older.”

“Linnie uh…nice place you got here. Kinda girly for my taste, but eh..”, Miguel shrugged as he looked around. He was pleased to see that the apartment was much cleaner than the night he had visited Nora at the Cosmas’s old house. The room was mostly pink with a darker pink floor, a soft couch, and tv in the living room. The kitchen was also clean as well; not a single whiskey or wine bottle in sight but rather, a few baby bottles rested on the counters and a high chair was placed near the dinner table. Linnie put Luna down in the baby seat next to the couch and urged Miguel to sit down.

“So…how have things been? I’m not interrupting, am I?”, Miguel asked awkwardly, as the baby kept looking at him funny.

“Oh no, not at all dear. I just got finished feeding Luna her dinner.”

“Luna, huh? Is that what you call her?”

“Mhm!”, Linnie squeaked, taking a seat in between Luna and Miguel, smiling widely as she played with the toys that hung above the rocker. Miguel watches as Linnie’s heart melted right in front of him.

“Well, I won’t take up too much of your time. I just wanted to check and see how things are going with you and…and Luna.”, Miguel said.

“You know, I’m surprised you’ve come as early as you did. I didn’t expect you to care way until she started to ask who her real parents were.”

“I-I mean yeah…I dunno what’s gotten into me. I guess, I just wanted to make sure Luna is ok, you know. You’re a good person, but I can’t help but worry sometimes.”

“I understand. I’m sure if it were under different circumstances, you would have loved Luna with every ounce of magic in your body.”, Linnie said gently, rocking Luna’s rocker slightly.

“Speaking of, have you heard from Nora lately? I’m surprised she hadn’t tried to blow our phones up, trying to get rid of her or something stupid.”

“Well…”, Linnie said nervously, “Well I’m not sure if you heard, but she’s…no longer around.”

“What do you mean?”

“She overdosed on whiskey a few weeks after I moved out and when Darren had moved out of my place and died in a magic accident.”, Linnie said softly, “I was sad about it for a little while until I realized that it meant that she wouldn’t be around to harass my baby.”

Miguel’s heart stopped briefly as Linnie called Luna ‘his baby’. Despite all those months believing that he wanted nothing to do with the child, and regardless of all the legalities, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat hurt that the baby that came out of him was someone else’s. Yet, as he watched Linnie continue to rock Luna gently in her rocker, he also sighed a brief of relief, knowing that he made the right decision.

“You really love her, don’t you Linnie?”

“Oh yes. With all my heart.”, Linnie said, wiping tears from his eyes, “I really want to thank you again to allowing me to be a part of her life and…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“I’m sorry for being so pushy during those 3 months. I’m sure you were constantly stressed out and unsure of what to do, and I wasn’t helping by making you feel guilty. I really did want what was best for Luna, but I wasn’t really thinking about what’s best for you. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah well…ain’t nothing we can do to fix the past now is there? All we can do is move forward.”, Miguel shrugged, hearing Luna start to get a bit fussy. Linnie picked Luna up in his arms gently and rocker her softly, cuddling her, and shushing her as he rubbed her back, Luna’s wings twitching slightly.

“Do you want to hold her?’, Linnie asked, and though Miguel initially distanced himself and hesitated, he finally opened his arms as Linnie placed Luna inside of them. With the baby in his arms, Miguel finally got a good, long look at what Luna looked like. She had purple hair and eyes, which possibly came from his pink and Nora’s blue, and had purple, straight hair to match. She also had a slight tan, looking almost like Yolonda in a way. However, Luna had some slight curls on the ends of her hair that were undoubtedly Nora’s. After holding her fo some time, Luna started to giggle a bit before falling asleep, prompting Linnie to take Luna back.

“Awww someone’s sleepy. I guess I should take the darling to bed.”, Linnie said, getting up. Miguel followed suit as he smiled at the two fairies.

“Well, I’ll be off then. Let me know when Luna becomes of age. I’d like to be there when you tell her the truth.”

“Of course”

With that, Miguel watched as Linnie hummed a lullaby and placed Luna down in her crib before leaving apartment 701, knowing fully well that Luna was in good hands.

[kalisbaby]

My mom's in the ER with my sister because her (mom) sugar went up. And she hasn't been taking her medications or her insulin or gotten a new PCP after her old one suddenly up and closed his business. (Like deadass they scheduled an appointment for her and when she went they were shut down. No notices, no calls, no nothing!)

So both me and my sister are beyond frustrated and upset because she legit isn't taking care of her health and she will sit around all day in her phone and like not eat anything until one of us comes in the room and asks us to make her something. And that could be HOURS! And no matter how much I tell her to stop fasting she still does it cuz "God told her to" and not to question her faith or relationship with God but...fasting for over a year (or two idk how long at this point) for HOURS every. single. day. when you have a major health issue is ridiculous. I'm sure God didn't want her to maintain it for that long especially one where she doesn't pray or anything. She just like...watches TV and plays on her damn phone so, ma'am!, what kinda fast???

Anyway, I'm digressing.

THE POINT IS I need her to care for herself. Like I NEED her to want to do it for herself. I've said this time and time again, like it's a bad song on repeat at this point, but I cannot take care of her for herself.

I can make her meals but I can't make her eat them. I can sort out her medicines but I can't make her take them. I can see her appointments but I can't make her go to them or tell the truth while at them (a problem I also had with my dad btw. He just would not tell his doctor everything and I would be like, "Are you fr right now???" At one point the doctor just talked directly to me because my dad was acting like everything was fucking fine when it WASN'T!).

And I feel like my mom thinks we're SUPPOSED to care for her because she, and I quote, "did it for [her] mother" and yeah I get that. And honestly, I have no problems doing for my mother, but my grandmother also did for herself. When she needed help she asked for it but she was very much able to tend to her own needs up until the last few years of her life when her health deteriorated to the point where additional assistance was mandatory and we ALL helped then. (I legit flunked out of the second half of my first year of college to help my mom take care of my grandma and I still don't regret it to this day. It was a joy to care for her and to be with her in those last few months of her life.)

But my mom still has a lot of her mobility and functioning and I get that she's tired after nursing three children, two elderly parents, a husband, not to mention her actual nursing job, but I don't like her not trying. Like for HERSELF. It often feels like she's just like, "why do I have to do this when I have daughters?"

And it's like, we won't always be here. I'm here now but what about in the future? I wanna live more! I haven't even done an iota of and iota of what I want to do. And I get it, that's on me. Those are my choices and I accept them but it wouldn't be fair for me to never even try because I have to stay home and build my life around caretaking my mother while she's still relatively young and able bodied. Like if she wasn't then this wouldn't really be a discussion. I would have my frustrations,.for sure, but I would deal with them because I know my mother couldn't do for herself. But knowing that she CAN but just often WON'T??? That's a whole nother thing. A WHOLE nother thing.

I just...

I think about how ppl have repeatedly told me "there's always one that stays behind" meaning there's always a child that stays and takes care of the aging parents. And that one was my mother and I despise that saying for a plethora of reasons but mainly because people say it to me like "give up your dreams, your hopes, your goals because your life is already decided and it's taking care of your mother at the expense of everything else." It makes me bitter. And I don't deserve that. My mother doesn't deserve that.

She deserves to live her old age in peace as comfort and joy. And I deserve to live the last embers of my youth the same.

But how I do that if people are pre-determining my life to be built around someone else? Especially at the expense of the small facet of happiness I managed to eek out for myself? What cruelty!

And I still want children some day. So am I only meant to care for others and leave no care for myself??? Idk the answer to this but what I DO know is, I need my mother to get it together. To care enough about the rest of her life to want to actively live it and not just lie around wasting it away waiting for me or someone to do the very basic of shit for her.

I need her to care enough for herself. I can't do it for the both of us. I just can't. Something will eventually have to give and I fear when that time comes because I'm nto sure of what choice I'll make and I'd hate for it to be me at the risk of harming her. If that makes any sense.

I just want her to care. That's all. Just care about yourself, mommy. Love yourself enough to try. PLEASE! For the love of God, please!