#i miss all of you and wish i could be as motivated and devoted as i was back in the day

[kneelingshadowsalome]

🤠🫶:

I am CACKLING like a cartoon villain oh my GOD you are a genius!!! Of course the toxic king breaks his back of COURSE he does the fucking idiot (affectionate), so there's fuck-all he can do with reader's big announcement that this was all worth it and he can totally get some...yknow, in a couple months. AHHHHH. And she just wanted to give him something to look forward to, motivation for the physical therapy <33 (she boops his nose while he lays there wishing for death and cowering from her, of course she does, omg. i love them your honor!!)

and maybe she gets more confident now that he can't fucking move 💀💀 (lmao, oh god. König if you weren't such a menace this would have been easier for her a lot earlier and nobody would be in this situation) and maybe this leads to way more sensual  touching from her on her own initiative; she's curious, after all, and she does like him a lot and she's just trying to help him get better, you know? and König eats that shit up, starts telling her all about these itches and sore muscles he can't reach, could she be a dear (trying to act like he's not literally begging for her touch) and then he basically blacks out the first time her hands linger and drift, but probably better that than the things he was going to say to her. So König wants to die, this is too much, he's done, he's a goner each time she visits him. and damn her, she's a devoted little thing, never misses visiting hours. Always so sweet and caring towards him and it's the perfect image of a faithful, doting housewife without the wife or the house or the sex part of it lmao. And of course he can’t move when all this is happening!!! so basically just more torture and his mind just kind of breaks into little tiny pieces held together by demented lovesick lust-filled fantasies. he says some absolutely filthy things (makes the cunt licking look family friendly in comparison), he can't control it really anymore, and poor reader is shocked/horrified and blushing furiously, but thinks it's the medications and the pain and whatnot, tries to be understanding, only chides him once she gets her shock under control (and he's actually stone cold sober the entire fucking time lmao, but he ain't telling her that, she'd run if she knew). 

AND THEN MAYBE~~ (dun dun dun) one day reader is FINALLY reaching under the stupid hospital bed blanket - he can feel her soft little fingertips and carefully manicured nails travel down his abs, trace the V of his hips (my man is going to black out again, good lord) and she's looking at him with big round eyes and she's nervous she's going to do it wrong and he won't like it (as if), and it's taking FOREVER for her to get her hand between his legs bc sweet little thing just wants to do it right, and he's out of his mind, half-crying, whisper-begging at this point (it's probably not even English, not German either, just mindless pleas). Her hand FINALLY wraps around his length and he's lucky he doesn't cum right then and there; she's blushing so violently at taking a man in her hands for the first time and she's seeking HIS approval with those pretty doe eyes as she bites her lip. So of course that's when there's a knock at the door (the universe hates him, he's going to scream, whoever this is is lucky he can't move and they might die anyway from the blast radius of sheer rage) and a doctor comes in for daily rounds. Reader barely has time to yank her hand back before doc sticks his head through the privacy curtains and yep our man's heart might actually just stop, he is just going to keel over right then and there. 

so not even a handjob for our poor king <3 if he doesn’t die (lol) he transfers to in-home care IMMEDIATELY and finally gets reader to himself in a more private setting where he can lock the fucking door. this is the part where I look away lmao, I'd leave him blue-balled & suffering forever ...am i a mean person?? also RIP to that doctor. this verse is so hilarious & wonderful and i love it, feels like a tug of war between tropes and genres if that makes sense which results in your delightful genius works, thank you thank you <333

This is so beautiful. I am puddle & I can't thank you enough for collaborating & I LOVE YOU Howdy anon 💋 and um, I think I got a little too excited about their first time lol oops (I can't leave him blue-balled forever! Poor man would die of heart failure 🥺)

(Tamara and Demon (1864), Mihály von Zichy)

Word count: 3.7 k

CW: 18+ NSFW. Corruption kink goes brrrr. Masturbating, dirty talking, obsessive/yandere König. Awkward handjob. First time/virgin!reader. Kinda sweet and fluffy 🩷 Also coersion/mildly dubious consent, tread carefully!

A/N: You can find the story of König x virgin!reader and their relationship so far by following the tag (könig x virgin reader)

Oh she visits him alright!

She’s much braver now that König is bedridden and can’t move. They actually spend more time together after the weightlifting accident. The intense stares haven’t gone anywhere, he's actually gotten worse in that department, but otherwise, König is behaving quite nicely.

He seems to like it when she reads to him next to his bed, which is immensely cute in her opinion. Armed with a new book in the crook of her arm, she’s on her way to visit him again for another session.

She's already accustomed to simply floating in after giving his door a light rap. She's also gotten used to the sight of guns and knives and the smell of army storage, even the manly, pungent stench of sweat that lingers on top of it. 

But it’s not the potpourri of masculine military scents that stop her at the door and nearly make her drop her book.

The King himself is lying naked on the bed – well, naked except for the bag of a mask he seems to hold on to like it’s his soul. This time, she doesn’t even see it: her eyes fly straight to the towering erection he’s stroking, urgently with one hand while the other cups a pair of shaved, pale balls.

"König…?" 

The man who calls himself King curses – in German or in English, she can’t tell. The sight of him there, caught red-handed on touching himself, only makes her feel sorry for him. König has nowhere to run and hide, nothing to cover himself with, he's not supposed to even move yet. And he is not the one who should be embarrassed, after all, she's the one who barged in on his privacy. 

Although… König doesn't look embarrassed. 

He only looks drunk and sweaty and in need.

She thinks about turning back and leaving him with hurried excuses because what the hell is she supposed to do…? Read him a book? He is still gripping his cock like it’s a sword or something, breathing like he just ran a marathon. 

And speaking of swords, that weapon is far too big for her... Hell, she doesn’t know much about swords but she would deem that sword far too big for any woman.

If she were clever, she would run away from that stare and that huge, monstrous cock. But she’s not that clever, that much is clear because everyone she’s told she’s dating König have warned her about him. Every cell in her body is warning her of danger, but she keeps running back to him, over and over again…

Well, at least he can’t move, she thinks, takes a hesitant step, and places the book down on a table. Just when she’s about to whisper some calming, soothing words to this beast, the beast speaks.

"Take your clothes off," comes a husky command from the bed, and she freezes with her fingertips still on the cover of her cute little book about German fairytales (she knows König likes his fairytales bloody). 

Normally, she would make a scene out of such audacity. She might even storm out of the room and vow to never speak to him again for daring to talk to her like that.

But… 

He looks so desperate. König looks like a giant bound for torture on that bed. And he's not the only one who has been tormented these past few weeks… The incident at the hospital has plagued her dreams every night as she has tucked herself in with the memories of König's… sword.

Perhaps it would help with his pain if she offers him relief in his time of need. No harm can come from that, surely. She doesn't know how exactly taking her clothes off will help, but if that is his wish, then it’s the least she can do. 

To her and his surprise, her hands drift to the hem of the top she’s wearing. She’s feeling rather wild – something about seeing König completely naked yet unable to move is making her act like this. Like she's the brave one. Like she’s in control now.

Dedicated to her task, she pulls the shirt over her head.

Nothing moves on that bed for a good long while. As far as she can tell, König might've stopped breathing. But by the time she takes her bra off, there’s a swallow under that hood. Then the hand slowly starts to stroke again, the moist, slick sounds continue as her breasts fall free from their confinement. 

She’s breathing heavily too, and the man on the bed is stiff as a stone: every single muscle in his body is pulled taut as he stares at her breasts like they’re the Revelation of John. Then those blue eyes lift to her face just before another command is issued.

"Take off the rest."

"The–the rest…?"

"I just want to watch you." 

His voice is hoarse and croaky, and she feels even more sorry for him – König must be in so much pain and she just keeps on teasing him. She started this, so perhaps it’s better just to see it through. 

What’s crazy though is that he actually moans when she gets out of her pants, socks, and finally, her underwear. The slick sounds of fapping increase, and he’s moaning.

She hasn’t even touched him yet… She’s just standing there before him completely naked, heat pooling low in her belly as König continues to work himself with what looks like both pleasure and pain.

"Komm… Come here," he orders next, out of breath but surprisingly politely, and she has no other option than to approach his bed. She sits down as chastely as possible, then almost jumps back up when a steel-hard thigh brushes against hers.

"Touch it. Ja?" 

Her eyes grow as wide as they can go as she takes in the cock she has touched once before, briefly and under a hospital sheet. Now it’s right there, foreign and demanding. 

Better just to see it through, her mind tweets as her hand reaches out through what feels like water. Like before, there's a sharp intake of air under the hood as she takes him in her hand. It’s even hotter than she remembered, and gives a tight pull the instant her fingers wrap around it. 

"Like this…?" 

"Just like that…"

Her meek little mouse peeps and multiple bats of eyelashes are like drug to him, it seems. The man is as tight as a bowstring when she starts to move her hand up and down, mimicking the motions she just saw him do. They're not as fast as his, and her grip must be way gentler, but she seems to do surprisingly well for an inexperienced virgin. The poor man looks like he’s about to faint on that bed. 

What she doesn’t expect, however, is König to touch her.

A large, warm palm sweeps across her ribs and lands on her breast, softly, as if he's concerned that he might scare her off. She's the one who's stopped breathing now… And then he rubs her, squeezes her. Gently… Reverently.

"You're soft," comes a strained sigh from the bed as she tries to keep her own grip both tight and gentle. She’s starting to get so wet she fears she will stain his sheets. Bewildered, she tries to change her position, but the palm cupping her breast seems to have bound her to the bed too. Nothing moves, except her hand and his as they explore each other. A giant and an angel...

Something hot and wet meets her hand as she strokes him – is he cumming already…? But it can't be, she has heard there’s supposed to be quite a bit of it when a man cums, and there’s only a few ample drops of clear liquid oozing out of the slit on his tip.

"Can't wait for the day I get to make you scream," he rasps, and her heart is hammering in her chest as more cum-like liquid streams from the slit of his cock, adding to the lewd, moist sounds of the handjob she’s giving him.

König doesn’t know she has never even kissed a guy… 

"We'll… we'll get there," she tries to soothe him, thanking her lucky stars this man can't move.

"I want to fuck you," he continues, sounding more and more desperate. "Good and hard… until you cry under me. Want to see if you can take it all in."

"König…"

"It’s a long cock, ja? I can make you squirt."

"König, I'm still a virgin… You can't–"

"Nh–Sorry… sorry."

His head falls back on the pillow, his muscles relax just for the tiniest moment. But if she thought he would finally leave her to it, she was wrong. The hand of a giant killer drops between her legs next. 

She’s sitting on the bed like she would sit on a side saddle, with one leg slightly bent, giving the horniest man on earth good enough access to the heat between her legs. She doesn’t stop him – she doesn’t even want to – as broad fingertips meet her pubic hair and slip between her already slick folds. 

"...Was? Pretty angel is all wet," he comments on her state of mess. Approvingly: like all his fears have suddenly disappeared. 

She has to fight the urge to roll her head back and moan as those agile fingers start to give her full, generous strokes. She almost messes up her rhythm while stroking his cock, which seems to have gotten even harder.

His fingers delve into her with more courage, they tease her tight, tender nub with excited circles. She tries not to jolt and shiver as he makes her even more slick, tries to ignore how her nipples grow hard from that burning stare alone. 

"Such a pretty girl… and so wet. You sure you don't want it?"

She thinks about it – how it would feel if he somehow was able to take her on that bed. If he pushed that cock inside her and if it would hurt or make her moan even more. Even the thought of trying to fit that inside her makes her thighs feel like pudding.

"I don’t know… You're still recovering."

"Heh… That's not a problem. You can be on top. I'll help," he offers as if it’s a gentlemanly thing to do, to help her bounce on that huge cock. 

"I–I'd rather do it the classic way."

"I'll show you classic when I get better," he promises with unconcealed greed. "I'll show you all the other ways too. We’ll do it any way you like."

She tries hard not to whimper when hearing his promise. She tries her best to pleasure the biggest cock she’s ever seen. It’s ridiculous that it’s the only cock she’s ever seen... What sort of a cruel joke was it from the universe to choose this king-sized Austrian to be her first man? 

She wonders how König would react if she told him he’s too big for her.

Would he try to change her mind? Would he have a meltdown? 

Would he cry…? 

She doubts if this man ever cries. The last time a brutal soldier like him shed tears was probably when he was a kid. But he did look like he was about to cry that one time when she booped his nose... 

And despite being a cold-blooded soldier and somewhat awkward at times, König has always been so, so delicate with her. He's tender even now, touching her with the gentlest avarice there is. But that searing stare wants to possess her, devour her, and it makes her bite her lip nearly to the point of drawing blood.

"Sit on my face?" he offers next, this time sounding so desperate it's almost pathetic. 

Sit on his face… 

What would he even do? Lick her? Try to push his tongue inside her while finishing himself?

The thought alone makes her mess up her rhythm again and causes her pussy to pulse more wetness on his fingers. She secretly hopes he would slip at least one of those fingers inside.

"Let me see your cunt," he begs. God – this giant mercenary is begging to see her poor, aching pussy. "Just… let me at least taste you–"

She can’t even reply before the hand between her legs gives a sudden twitch and stops those delicious rubs. Actually, his whole body is going rigid. 

"König…? Am I hurting you?"

"I'm–gonna cum…" 

Oh god.

Oh god ohgod-

She's not sure what gives her more of a fright: the sound that leaves her soldier boyfriend as he cums, or the bright, hot flash of liquid that shoots from the cock in her hand.

He groans like it’s torture. Long and hard, so loud that she’s sure other people can hear it in the neighboring rooms, perhaps even further than that. There’s one, two, three spurts of thick, hot liquid, after that, she loses count because it spills to coat his stomach, it runs down her hand, and she’s pumping him in a frenzy while he just keeps on moaning.

"Slow, slow down–" he tries to groan in the middle of his climax and she obeys immediately, reveling in how his cock still throbs in her hand when she finally stops moving altogether. More cum gushes out with every strong pulse, even if the eruptions are less violent. Ropes of it already cover his abs, it coats her hand with thick film – it's far more than she would ever have expected, and a shiver goes through her as she imagines what it must feel like to take all of that semen inside her… 

"Ah… Das war wirklich…" König sighs dreamily while she must be looking like a startled deer.

Yes, that was really something… She doesn’t know what to do with his cock, or her hand, or the mess that coats half his body.

Luckily, he instructs her to take his old shirt from the floor and clean herself with it. She cleans him with it too, dabs the black t-shirt over his muscled stomach, even tries to swipe his crotch with it as gently as she can. 

König looks happier by the minute, looks at her like she’s an angel or something, and when she fully commits herself to getting him cleaned up, he gets another erection. She’s quite horrified – how is this even possible…? She thought men would need at least hours to get it back up again.

"Come on top," he offers, sounding all but seductive with that commanding tone. 

She swallows, thinking if König wants to be a "gentleman" and finish her too. With his tongue... or something else.

"Just for a hug? We don't have to put it in."

She seems to be under some spell tonight, because she simply drops the poor, cum-stained shirt back on the floor and crawls to the bed and on top of him.

König is hot and lean as she presses herself against him, her thighs now straddling the intimidating thing between his legs. Her head falls right beside his mask-covered face, and the smell of guns and fuel and sweat is prominent there, as is his natural odor, the woodland musk she has grown so fond of.

"There we go," his arms go around her waist, pressing her tighter against him. There’s no escape now, she thinks, but like always with König, she eventually softens and relaxes, molds against him… Accepts her fate.

"You did well, Meine Liebe," he even caresses her head as she slowly melts into his hold. "I’m sorry if I frightened you. Will you forgive me?"

"Um, of course."

"A gentleman should always apologize if he has upset his lady. Do you agree?"

"Uh… Yes."

"I promise to be a good man. The best man you could ever hope for."

She bites her lip as König continues to caress her. She’s far from upset, but she doesn’t want to tell him that and excite him too much. Otherwise he might end up hurting himself. He hugs her tight, and seems to have calmed down more than ever.

Is this what an orgasm does to a man...? The change is drastic, and her lover feels warm, and tender, and inviting. He even whispers more promises on her skin. They're nonsensical but gentle, König is probably trying to be romantic, but she can feel how his breaths grow heavier as time goes on. After all, they're both naked, pressed tightly together, closer than ever before, and he's having an erection again...

She tries not to shiver at the things he tells her. The husky promises of love and protection: "You are mine now, ja? Don’t be afraid. I would never hurt you. I will always keep you safe." And then, "You’re still wet, mein Mädchen… How about we practice just a little bit? We'll do it slow. Ja? I will make you moan…"

He coos those things in her ear while holding her in place for his cock. She starts to move on her own accord; it’s like her hips have their own will. Soon, her entrance meets the tip of him, still hot and bulged, and she starts to grind against it with barely restrained greed. She is wet – wetter than ever. 

König curses multiple times under his breath, and she feels so, so filthy for loving how unhinged he is, how unhinged she is – spread wide on top of him like that, trying to get off of the faintest touch of his cock. She’s so soaked that the hot tip of him glides across her folds with no effort at all. 

She feels like she’s doing something forbidden, taking her pleasure from him like that, but König doesn’t seem to know what the word filthy even means. He keeps praising her, guiding her, helping her, telling her how good she feels, that she’s doing so, so well.

Soon, he’s asking to put it in – just the tip. 

She tries her best not to sound too needy as she breathes a soft, mousy "Yes."

"How does that feel?"

He’s panting, few inches of thick cock inside her, and she thinks, did she just lose her virginity? Is this it? Why isn’t it hurting?

“You like that, hmm?”

He feels so, so good, pressing her against him, spreading her legs with his own, trying to feed more of that marvelous thickness inside. It doesn’t hurt, at least not yet. It makes her dizzy to even think what she must be looking like, with her legs spread and a huge cock partly inside her.

She should say something… What was it that he asked? Oh yes, if she likes it. She more than just likes it, and tries to push herself down to get more of him in. König reacts immediately with a ton of praise leveled at her in the softest possible way.

“That's it, that's it, pretty girl, take it in…”

Him cheering her on like that only makes her decide that it’s time to let go and let go for good. But she can’t get him in by herself, not while he’s holding her a prisoner like this.

"More… König, please," she hears herself whimper. 

God, is this all it took...? Him holding her close and letting her find the joys of sex herself? Apparently so, because he sounds goddamn smug when he turns his head to rasp more needy, throaty things in her ear.

"Ah… Knew you'd beg for it… "

His voice makes her inner walls clamp down on him, and that’s when it hurts, but only slightly. She wants him so much that it’s painful. And König… God, he keeps on showering her with praises and promises.

"I'll show you how good it can be… That's it, let me hear you. It's a good cock, ja? Good cock for a pretty girl…"

It’s not even fully in before he starts the thrusts. That’s when she knows she has lost her virginity. She’s being plunged. Not taken… Just… loved, thoroughly and deeply. 

When she moans, finally sounds as filthy as can be, he tells her how tight she is. How good she feels. He says he’s going to cum again soon. But not before her…

He doesn’t need to instruct her to rub her clit on his pelvis in rhythm with the thrusts. She is smart enough to do that by herself. And the thoughts of This is it, I’m not a virgin anymore have turned into Is it possible to cum on your first time…?

Everything’s perfect, all things considered. But there’s something missing.

"König," she swallows arduously. "I’ve never been kissed... Would you– Could you…?"

He stops moving, releases his hold a little. A strong heart is hammering inside his chest, she can feel it against her own fluttering heartbeat. 

Is it stupid of her to ask…? Will he only laugh at her for being so sentimental?

Apparently no, because it’s the warmest possible command that surrounds her this time.

"Lift the mask, angel."

By the time their lips meet, both hesitant and needy, he's fully inside her and holding her like a mountain. She feels like she's in a fairytale now: the only thing that moves is his mouth, and hers. Theirs is a slow, hungry rhythm. 

Her first kiss is not only awkwardly romantic and sweet, it’s sinfully good. 

The kiss also does things she did not expect. Her pussy goes tight around him, so tight that a whimper or two escape her nose, and König only purrs – she feels like the softest little creature in the embrace of a lean jaguar.

And she thinks… 

Why on earth didn't they do this months ago?

[aphroditelovesu]

I would cry for something for a Yan! Lucien Vanserra 🥺💖

"I will love you until the day my existence fades away." — Lucien Vanserra.

❝ 🦊 — lady l: oh, how I miss Lucien, especially the one from the first book 😔 he deserves more, much more! I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes!

❝tw: obsessive behavior, possessiveness, protectiveness, implied death and toxic relationships (?).

❝🦊pairing: yandere!lucien vanserra x gender neutral!reader.

Lucien Vanserra is a devoted, loving and caring male. He has lost so much and suffered so much in his life that all he wants, all he must do, is make sure his loved one is happy and safe. That is all that matters to him and Lucien will make sure his wishes are fulfilled.

He knows that his darkest thoughts are wrong and Lucien tries to fight them at any cost. His greatest fear is hurting you and he will never forgive himself if he hurts you or harms you in any way. He loves you deeply, so much so that the mere thought of hurting you makes him desperate.

Lucien idolizes his darling, puts you on a pedestal and will do anything for you. Ask him for anything and he will do it without question. He wants to please you above all else and will have no fear or qualms about going "too far" in his constant quest for your approval. He wants you to love him, to be as devoted to him as he is to you.

His obsession manifests itself in such a subtle way that you will hardly notice that there is anything wrong with the way he acts. Lucien is good at disguising his feelings and he will only make you feel what he wants you to feel: security and love. He will never let you feel fear or any kind of negative feelings towards him. Lucien cannot let that happen and he will not.

He is a master at hiding his own emotions conducting his interactions in such a way that you only notice the sweetness and dedication he exudes, having lived under the violent control of his "father" and brothers. Even when obsession takes over, Lucien manages to mask any signs of possessiveness with genuine affection, ensuring that you never see the dark side of his love. He controls his actions with precision, always maintaining a facade of perfection so that you never have reason to suspect his intentions.

Lucien's manipulation is more subtle and you will hardly notice it. His smiles, the way his eyes follow you all the time and how words with ulterior motives come out of his lips are very strong clues but again, Lucien will not let you realize how sick for you he is, how desperate. At least, for now.

Lucien is a fae male and as such, he has a high level of possessiveness over his darling. He is not the controlling type, he will never try to restrict you in any way, not when he knows very well how that could end. You will have complete freedom, of course, as long as you never risk your life, Lucien will leave you free to do whatever you wish.

Although he will never act in a way that could hurt you, Lucien is still very possessive and does not like the idea of ​​other males around you, especially if he does not trust them. He will growl, show his teeth and make his disdain clear, his words sarcastic but full of venom and, if it is really necessary, Lucien will drive them away from you permanently.

Having lost so much and suffered at the hands of people who should love him, Lucien is somewhat paranoid and protective of you, but he will always be careful not to overstep your bounds. Lucien is protective to the extent that he can control it, never forcing himself into your life and always respecting your space, even if it destroys him inside. You are more important to him than the obsession that increasingly consumes him.

You are the light that guides him in the darkness, especially after the traumatic events of Under the Mountain. You keep him going, an extra motivation to fight and stay strong. Lucien almost sees you as a kind of deity, always worshiping and adoring you wherever you go. There is nothing this male wouldn't do for you. He will love you, and be devoted and loyal to you completely.

Lucien will spoil you with anything you desire. One of his love languages ​​is to give you things he knows you will like. Absolutely anything you desire, anything you want to ask for, is yours. Just ask and you shall have it. Lucien will feel useful when he can provide for you and he loves the smile you give him when you receive something you like, so ask for it.

Lucien Vanserra is, above all, a man who strives to be worthy of the love he receives. He wants to be the fortress that protects you, the safe haven where his darling can rest in peace, without fear. And it is this devotion that guides him, that gives meaning to everything he does, even if some of these things are monstrous. He knows that true love requires sacrifices, and for him, there is no sacrifice too great if it means your happiness and safety.

[aritsukemo]

Love and Devotion | Various Characters

How do they react to you randomly ( or not so randomly ) professing your love for them? ( Or vice versa )

Characters: Yun, Zeno, Meguru Bachira, and Seishiro Nagi

Warnings: Nothing major, but for Zeno's part, they're very vague spoilers to the manga!

A/N: I don't know what this is honestly, but if I find the motivation and if you guys like this, I'll make a part two with different characters! :)

"I love you so much. Please don't ever leave me," You confessed to the beautiful genius before you, face hot and your body drenched in sweat under thick blankets.

"Stop saying stupid things," The genius in question replies, not sparing you a glance as he worked on your medicine, hands moving swiftly and meticulously as he mixed the herbs in a bowl, "You have more important things to worry about."

"But you are what's most important to me," You shamelessly retort, "Please, don't leave me.. I love you so much..I'd probably cry if you left me.."

"Calm down, I'm not leaving any time soon," He replies plainly before mumbling, "Not that I could if I wanted to. Knowing you, if I left you'd probably try to brush off your illness like an idiot and end up dying somehow.."

"Do you promise?" You ask and this time, Yun turns to look at you, his frowning face meeting your expectant one.

You truly are stupid, he thinks.

"It's going to take a while for me to finish your medicine so you should rest until then," His eyes break away from yours to return back to the bowl in front of him, "I'll wake you when I finish."

"I'm not sleeping until you promise me you'll stay."

"Fine, I promise I'll stay. Now get some rest."

"I don't believe you when you say it like that."

"Well that was the only time I'm saying it so you'll have to deal with it."

"Can't you be the tiniest bit romantic sometimes. I really think it would benefit our relationship if—"

"Go to sleep or I will leave."

"Y'know, the miss can stop poking Zeno now," Zeno said cheerfully only to be once again poked in the arm by you, who still seemed to be rather awestruck.

Understandably so. I mean, how can you not after what happened..

"Sorry.." You mumble out, reluctantly letting go of his arm, "It's just.. Even though I saw your powers with my own eyes, it's hard to believe that you're really okay."

As the gruesome events of the other day replayed over and over in your head, your fist clench uncomfortably tight, your nails digging into the skin of the palm of your hand. Zeno's eyes soften at the sight.

Slowly, he takes your balled fist into his hands, using his fingers to gently pry your fingers apart. Once done, he grabs your other hand and intertwines both of his hands with yours.

"Do you feel this? Zeno's holding your hand, you feel that?" He asks, his smile widening when you eventually nod your head.

"See, Zeno's just fine! No need for the miss to worry!" He lets go of your hands, bringing both of his hands up to ruffle your hair, "So cheer up!"

"Zeno.." Was all you mumbled before an almost frustrated groan slips from you. With rather aggressive movements, you grip the back of his head and shirt, forcing him to collide with your chest.

"You idiot! How can you act so carefree after scaring me half to death?" Zeno's eyes widen, not because of your angry tone or how tightly you're holding him, but because of the tears—your tears—that he feels stain his clothed back.

"I was so scared.. I.. I really did think I was going to lose you.." You wrap your arms around his neck, your head coming down to rest atop of his as tears glide down your cheeks, some of which landing on his head and wetting his hair.

"I love you.." You weep, "I love you so much that I couldn't bear the thought of something like that happening again so please..try not to let it happen again.."

Oh, how he wishes he could lie to you. To tell you that he'd never throw himself into a situation like that again but that simply wouldn't be true because he probably will. To be completely honest, he doesn't care about what happens to him or this body of his. Being a shield is his one and only purpose and in a way, his reason to live. It'd be too obvious of a lie to tell you he'd never do something like that again..

..But at the same time, seeing you cry over him like this is not something he wants to make a normal occurrence.. It's nice to know you care for him enough to cry over him, but he'd much prefer your smile over your tears.

And so, he wraps his arms around you, lifting his head up to bury himself in your shoulder as he allows you to sob into his, smiling to himself as he whispers in your ear, "I'll try for you."

"I'm home!" Bachira's excited voice rings throughout your apartment as he swung the door open.

After being gone for so long, he was so happy to be home! So happy to be able to rest in his bed and eat yummy food and, most importantly, he's so so so excited to be able to see you in person again! To see your smile, to hold you close.. Eeee~! Just thinking about it makes him all the more eager!

..But you aren't waiting for him at the door like you said you would.. Where— Oh, nevermind.

As he walked closer to the large sofa, your figure revealed itself; comfortable and tangled in pillows, you were fast asleep and softly snoring away. The sight makes him pout. As cute as you are like this, he would've liked it if you were awake and greeting him with open arms like he imagined..

Guess he'll have to settle with a goodnight kiss.. Or maybe he should wake you up with a surprise, hehe..~

With a mischievously silly idea now forming in his head and a playful smirk on his face to match it, Bachira takes no time to lean over the couch. He dips down, inching closer and closer to your face..

And just like that, he was caught in your trap.

Everything happened in a instant and before Bachira could process you flipping him over and onto the couch, you were already covering his face in wet kisses and tickling his sides, causing his face to crinkle up as a string of laughs force their way from his pale lips.

"I knew you'd try something!" You say, wide awake and grinning triumphantly at the boy dying of laughter underneath you.

"I- Ahahahaha..~! I- I thought— Wait! I- Ahahahaha..~!" He couldn't even get his words out because of your ruthless assault to his poor sides. It was only when the tears begin to form that you finally showed mercy, removing your hands from his sides at last.

He takes a few breaths, his body going limp as it's released from your ticklish torture. You wait a few moments to allow him to catch his breath before your hands come up to tangle in his two-toned hair, carding your fingers through it in a rhythm..

"I got you pretty good," You say cheekily, it earns a small, slightly breathless chuckle from your boyfriend.

"I thought you were asleep," He says, "I was asleep until a few minutes ago, thanks to a certain someone," You quip before completely falling on top of him, slamming all your body weight onto him and burying your face in his chest. Not that he minded.

"You made such a ruckus opening the front door you woke me up," You explained in grumble, although your tone made it evident that you weren't actually upset.

"Sorry, 'couldn't help it! 'Wanted to see your gorgeous face as soon as possible!" He says. Planting a kiss on your forehead and following up by pulling you up and kissing you in various other places like your nose and cheeks, "I missed you so so so so so much, babe!"

A huff escapes you, but it looses it's vexing effect due to the wide smile painted on your face, "I missed you too, beautiful. But next time, come in a little quieter.."

Lazy days were always your favorite.

No annoying ass colleagues annoying you about boring ass work, no early mornings, and the best part, no leaving the bed. What makes things even better is that your boyfriend was home, cuddled up to you as you played in his hair.

"You're really pretty.. My pretty boy.." You cooed into his ear. You've been whispering compliments into his ear ever since the two of you woke up and although he liked it, the endless stream of adoration was really starting to get to him..

"Stop.." Nagi mumbled out in a way that comes off as borderline whining as he attempted to bury his face into your shoulder even more than he already was.

"What? I thought you liked it when I complimented you, baby," You said, eliciting another, even more whiny, groany, mumble from him.

"I do, but not when you're shoving it down my throat like this.." He said, but his pink ears gave away the truth; he simply couldn't handle anymore of sugary-sweet compliments..

Even with his sweet tooth, he knows that any more candy-drop affirmations would give him a stomachache..

You chuckle, "Okay, okay, I'll stop for now. ..I'll just shower you in kisses!" And before he could complain, you were already leaning in and covering any and every part of his face that you could reach with wet pecks, "Heyyyyyy," He groaned, but he doesn't stop you. Afterall, attempting to stop you would be too much effort and he hates putting in effort for anything on lazy days..

Hm, guess he stuck being pampered like this until you tire yourself out. How annoying.. Not really, but it's hard to sleep when you're making his heart race.

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[skylinx2o]

Admittedly, I've been feeling terrible lately. I didn't even finish my weekly drawing and broke my now months long streak. I thought I would be able to do it, but my emotions weighted me down too much. I might go back to drawing one art every two weeks.

Anyway, I feel like I should do more fun things. I mean, drawing is fun, and I love creating stories for my OCs, but I do have a lot of other interests. And tho I'm sticking to talking about LEGO today, I want to talk more and get out of my shell. And maybe give you more insight into me as a person.

So today I'm going to talk about my favourite LEGO themes and why I love the series, plus how I personally got i to all of them. It's not a normal review whatsoever, just an excuse to ramble about my interests freely. Just remember this is my experience and my feelings.

(And it's not at all like I'm making this post because I need all of this to prepare for a speaking class and the only way to motivate myself is by making a post about it o _o Come on, I'm killing two birds with one stone here!)

Okay, so, my all-time favourite themes are (in chronological order to when I found them):

1. Bionicle

Honourable mention: Hero Factory

2. Ninjago

3. Legends of Chima

4. Monkie Kid

5. Dreamzzz

1. So. Bionicle. I have a weird history with Bionicle. My dad's friends used to get movies for us, and one day it just happened that my dad's friends gave us a pen drive with Bionicle: Legend Reborn on it. I think I would be around... Seven or eight when I watched it I've seen fans say that it was a pretty weak film, but I didn't know Bionicle back then, and I really enjoyed it! That movie was a soft reboot of the series, and as someone who started their Bionicle obsession with that movie, in my opinion it worked really well as a standalone supposed to capture new audiences. I really loved the sense of mystery that was probably lost on new fans. It wasn't exactly explained what or who Mata Nui was, besides him being a warrior who lost his people. And the ending... I really thought there would be a sequel to it, and was really intrigued by whom the great beings were, and what happened to the world, why Mata Nui knew them, what the giant ahh robots were supposed to do.

Of course, when a few years later in middle school I looked for the sequel, I didn't find it. And to be honest, the ending was disappointing to me. However, there was a whole other storyline in Bionicle to catch up on! And so one faithful summer was spent reading all the comics I could find, reading wiki pages one after another, playing Mata Nui online game obsessively, refusing to use a walkthrough. Believe me when I say I was obsessed!

And then out of nowhere in 2015 g2 came out, and I was stoked since I missed out on practically the whole g1 as it was being made. (I mean, it's understandable, I was born the same year the first Bionicle movie came out.) I mean, can you blame me for being excited? A dead franchise that I just started becoming a devoted fan of is suddenly revived from the grave. I felt like the luckiest person on earth that day. Honestly, g2 was a lot simpler than g1, but I really like it, even if most people said it sucked. Sure, it wasn't exactly like g1, and even I cringed a few times when watching the g2 show, but for what it was, it was cool in my eyes, and loved finding all the g1 references. And there were quite a few of them! The story of g2 was simpler, but for little kids I think it would've been fine. But alas, LEGO did a crap job promoting it, and it died early, with an ending that was so bad even I can't defend it. It just didn't make sense, and it was rushed as hell. But I still wished it would've continued.

I love both generations for different things, and I'm sad I didn't get any g2 sets when they were out (Lewa was my favourite one). But years later I managed to get a promotional anniversary set of Tahu and Takua, and you wouldn't believe my happiness when I was building it. It's strange being a relatively new fan compared to others I see online, but I still remember seeing Bionicle commercials, and even have a very vague memory of seeing a Phantoka commercial on our ancient TV. I mean come on, I was so into it, I even learned the Matoran alphabet! My mom had to listen to my countless rambling, and if I ask her about Bionicle today, she still remembers some answers, that's how much into it I was. Hell, this blog started as a Bionicle blog before I moved fully to Monkie Kid content.

Okay, this Bionicle ramble is getting a tad long, so I'll wrap this up. Would I recommend Bionicle to anyone? Well... Not really, unless you like long lore researching adventures. The story is so convoluted, with many sides stories, and it went on for so many years, that despite my obsession I still probably missed like, 40% of the lore. G1 at least, wouldn't vibe with casual audience probably. G2 might be easier on the brain, despite it having some deeper lore too. Plus, there's the cultural appropriation issue, that I'm not qualified to talk about, but others already made pages long blogs and articles about. Plus the weird gender situation. But, it's still a good story in my eyes, despite its many faults. But that's just me, and if you didn't catch on yet, I'm already deep in this hole and there's no getting out of here now.

Honourable mention: This brings us to Hero Factory. I watched the first few episodes at around the same time as the first Bionicle movie. Came from the same source as before. I think it deserves a mention, because I still loved it, and did some lore digging, but I wasn't as obsessed with it as the other positions on the list. I didn't like the later stuff as much, tho some concepts were really cool too. But the story of the first episodes was really well done, and worked great as a movie. The fights were tense, and when watching it for the first time, I couldn't really know if the characters would be okay. Honestly, it got me really excited and invested. A factory of heroes is a unique concept, and I always found it intriguing how they made the robot society work. But, I don't think it needed more time than it needed, unlike Bionicle, where I didn't like the ending of either generation. I think it wrapped things up quite well with the first episodes, and the later ones just feel like cool side stories, and it works in my opinion.

This one I would definitely recommend, because I feel like it's underrated, and it's not long. Like I said, the version I got was just a one movie like compilation. I checked and there's just 11 episodes. It would probably take 1–2 hours to watch it, not counting the later movies and all.

2. Next one is Ninjago! I started watching it almost from the start. I must have been around ten or so... The episodes aired on TV, so I had easy access to it! I almost never missed an episode, and watched even the reruns. And believe me, I was hypnotised when watching it. Tho, starting from rebooted I watched the episodes online, first in my native language, then in English since I started getting too impatient to wait. This was my first obsession. For the longest time, when people asked me what I wanted to do, I said I wanted to be a ninja. One of my oldest OCs is Mika, and she grew up with me. Whenever a new season was to come, I would design a new suit for her. I have a whole dedicated blog to her, I wonder if you all can find it lol. Anyway, for a kid's show, the first seasons were really well written, and the show could be dark when it wanted, but it didn't lack jokes, and most were very funny. And honestly, Ninjago had a really big impact on my life. It taught me not to give up, and it made me want to make the world a better place. Grade school was a horrible time for me, and Ninjago was like my escape. Tho, I might have daydreamed about it too much at one point...

I started distancing myself from Ninjago around hands of time. I didn't watch the show as regularly, catching up on seasons long after they aired. I think that's also where the writing quality started dropping… I just didn't like it as much any more. But it should've been expected with a series that went on for so long. I'm not one of the people who think old Ninjago was better than anything. It wasn't perfect at all. But I didn't like the short format of newer seasons. But then secrets of forbidden spinjitzu dropped, and i as a person started getting better too, so I went back to Ninjago, and while it wasn't still the best and people had a lot of issues I loved those few next seasons. I mean, they somehow hit right into my interests with those seasons. First the adventure movies like atmosphere with the Egyptian like tomb, then they get sucked into a video game, then the very DnD like feeling Shintaro. It was right up my alley. My love for Ninjago was back in full force by then. So you can imagine how sad I was when the word that Ninjago was ending started going around. The series has been with me for half my life. My friends even knew how much I liked it, my best IRL friend even bought me a Ninjago set for Christmas one time. But you know, I thought it was probably Ninjago's time. Nothing can last forever after all, and it had a very good run. Why not end it when the story was still quite alright? And then… Crystallized happened. I didn't watch Crystallized. I heard the spoilers, and I wasn't… thrilled. Especially with Harumi. And people hated that season. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. It didn't feel like a send-off Ninjago deserved.

So you can imagine how damn happy I was about Dragon Rising! And surprise, it's the best Ninjago has been in a while! I absolutely loved the first season. The new characters are wonderful, and that change was certainly what Ninjago needed. And the fact that it's merged with one of other of my beloved LEGO series only makes it better. And that's probably my cue to move to it hehe

So, would I recommend Ninjago? Yeah. Its story is easy to follow, you just need to watch the show. If you're ready to watch sixteen+ seasons that it! Even the worse seasons have some value to them I'd argue. But I may be biased with how close to my heart that series is.

3. Yeah boy, Legends of Chima! I started watching Chima around the same time I started watching Ninjago, and I was equally hooked. And yes, my mom remembers this one as well, I watched it every time it was on too. Actually, I think the first fanfiction I've ever written was about Chima. With a pencil on paper. I think that, while the other series captivated me because of magic or the setting or the action, in Chima it was the characters and their dynamics mostly, despite there being plenty of magic powers and action too, plus a unique setting. The main characters all have distinct personalities, and it's fun to see how their personalities clash or work together. I think it's cool because the conflict between lions and crocodiles takes the main stage in the first season. Later seasons are great too, and they shake things up to make things interesting quite well. The lore isn't as broad as in other series, but it's pretty cool and interesting either way. There were some unique concepts there. I can't explain my love for this theme as well as with other series, because I don't think there was anything big that made me like it. It's just a cool show. I think what there was has been satisfying, tho young me was really sad and angry it ended anyway. But it's great for what it was. But I can't say I'm not happy that Chima is now merged with Ninjago, and it works so well together, and I absolutely love Lord Ras.

I would absolutely recommend it. It's a fun show, and only three seasons long. It can be both fun and serious, and I definitely had a blast watching it.

4. Now one of my newer obsessions! Monkie Kid! I watched the pilot in Chinese when it came out, then I promptly forgot about the series and binge-watched it all when season 3 came out. I was reading about Journey to the West long before the series was announced, since I have a liking for old stories and legends and myths and stuff. And Asian cultures fascinate me. I blame Ninjago with its Japanese influence and all the martial arts movies that were on the TV all the time. Plus Mulan and Kung Fu Panda. Anyway, I can't say much about how accurate it is or anything since I'm not Chinese, but I think the show is great. I noticed a lot of references to Journey To The West. No shocker here, it's inspired by it. But being in this fandom made me learn a lot of new things about China, tho I still have a bunch of things to learn. I'm no expert yet. Tho, I try my best to be respectful.

Umm... Like I said, not much to say about how accurate the story is. But I really liked Journey to the West, so naturally I like Monkie Kid too. Plus, MK i really relatable to me. I feel like my personality is really similar to his, tho I'm more introverted. For some reason, I relate to this portrayal of Macaque and Wukong as well.

I dare to say that from all the series so far, I find this one to be the most well written. I just find the writing to be the most impactful. Plus, the artstyle is very different from other LEGO shows. Action scenes are really fun. The artstyle definitely works in its favour. And yeah, I would recommend this show 100%.

5. And finally, the newest addition to the LEGO series, Dreamzzz! The show is really new and just starting, but I love the concept and the writing! Plus again, I really relate to Mateo. The characters feel like real people you would meet, and how they interact feels realistic. And I found myself liking even the characters that annoyed me, because their personalities were the realistic type of annoying, one that you might find out in the wild. And the concept of a dream world just really speaks to me. And it gives the creators a lot of creative freedom. All wacky things can happen in a dream after all. One thing I didn't expect in the show was the secret agency, and I think it's a clever addition to the story.

I would recommend this series. I hope it'll have a bright future, and that the writing will stay this good.

Well, time to wrap all of this up. Whoever suffered through this whole ramble deserves a juice and a cookie 🍪🧃 For a few finishing thoughts... I noticed a lot of the series I like blend magic powers and technology together. I just thought it's interesting. And I wanted to mention that the songs for Bionicle, Ninjago and Chima absolutely slap. I used to listen to them on repeat all the time lol Even my mom really enjoyed those songs

Yeah, I don't know what this post was for, I just felt like writing all that :v

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 30/12/2023

The Paragoomba and the Wiggler

Season 7 Featured on: SGFR Presents: RIP²

Ripped by 601billionlazer Performed by vvslogs

Hey, look - its close to the new year, its past midnight as I'm writing this, and I'm feeling sentimental. I know I could be putting more delicacy into my choices for these last days of the year, but please allow me to be be a bit vulnerable today.

I started making these posts seven months ago. A month later, I made the full commitment into making it a full-on BLOG-blog. That is, a blog to truly let me spill my heart over, beyond just writing one or five sentences per rip, to ensure none of my feelings get left on the drawing board. It was never something I did to catch a wave of fame, or to show off on a resume: top to bottom, this blog began as a distraction from work, and has turned into a full-scale love letter for a project that has helped shape me into the person I am today. Now, with *this* project, I've found motivation and confidence: I've had the opportunity to reignite my passion for writing, satiating my lust for analysis and discussion, and most crucially providing a thank-you to a group of creators that have always felt woefully underappreciated.

What I never really expected, was to have those same wishes returned back to me.

From the ask box, to the messages, to the Rippers' Commentary reblogs, to the discussions held in the SiIvaCord and on Discord DMs themselves, its those heartfelt words, that gratitude and joy, that keeps me driven to continue this blog until I'm all wrung dry. I've long considered myself terrible at maintaining connections, yet with each message I receive it feels as if I've made a new friend, their words of support and love never leaving my mind no matter how much time passes. It still feels like I'm somewhat of a shut-in, yet I've had the ability to talk to so many more incredible people in the back half of this year alone than I have for so much of my life before.

So, with all that sappy shit said - The Paragoomba and the Wiggler goes out to one of those people. It was only a few weeks ago this month that I covered vvsvlogs' prior work on Wham! Into Dreams, and just how much her singing truly resonated with me. As soon as that post was done, I just...felt a need to know, if she'd done any more singing work for the channel, and she was kind enough to point out her contribution to RIP² that I'd somehow completely missed. A rearrangement of an immensely simple but effective Season 1 rip, The Paragooma and the Wiggler is still a mashup of a Super Mario Bros. 3 theme and an Owl City song, yet now with a far more lively, dynamic instrumental thanks to 601billionlazer's arranging, and with vocals wholly redone by vvsvlogs, as mentioned before - and, indeed, just like Wham! Into Dreams, I connected with the rip almost immediately after listening to it. There's of course also new life injected into the non-vocal half of the song through the rearrangement, new sound effects added to punctuate lyrics, an ebb and flow maintained with the instrumentation alternating between the original chiptune sound and a plucky piano. With all that said, its an incredible rip top to bottom, showing just how talented of a singer vvsvlogs is above all else - I daresay the new vocals full-on crush the originals for me.

Yet, there's a reason I wanted to put that big sentimental introduction to this post in particular. Because back when I first discovered Wham! Into Dreams years ago, I may still have been a devoted fan, but I was a wallflower althesame: barely in the SiIvaCord, barely in discussions with anyone other than the occasional YouTube comment. It's only through all of the aforementioned outcomes of running this blog, the people I've met and the messages I've received, that I finally feel truly at home with this community - that I found the courage to reach out, talk to, and send my sincerest thanks directly to these incredible creators, with at least SOMETHING to show for it. vvsvlogs is just one of a dozen or two people I've gotten to talk to through doing this blog, and it never ceases to warm my heart - both finally getting to talk to people who've indirectly pulled me out of dark times through simply doing what they love, and through knowing I've been able to make so many of them smile from the words I'm putting onto this darn page on a daily basis.

Happy new year, SiIvaGunner team. To all of you in the team reading silently without accounts to reply with, I hope you know just how much I love you.

<3

[sorryimananti-romantic]

who knows, maybe i'm a glutton for lengthy written pieces of fiction but i can't imagine anything better than reading a thought-out, detailed and intriguing story.

20k-30k wc usually takes me around 2 hours to read (when i am not annotating on the side or running laps in my room to calm down from a scene) and even though i do love me some drabbles, imagines or scenarios - sometimes they're so great but oh so short that i end up feeling hungry for more lol.

idk. maybe there is some over-consumption or fast-media issue that's infiltrated even the fanfic community and readers feel less overwhelmed reading fics under 10k? apprehension giving bad/wrong feedback? author burn-out? somebody go ahead and open the field for research already.

there is an overwhelming amount of short fics daily on my dash and not so often bigger oneshots or even series but i've always assumed it's because they take so much more time and effort into creating - which then motivates me more to leave nice feedback when you authors work so hard on them :) vice versa it's a nice feeling when authors take time to acknowledge feedback

like you saying you look forward to my reblogs and i'm over here like.. i have been noticed 👁️👄👁️ and i am being relied on to lose my own mind over your amazing mind. i can't disappoint this co-dependant author-reader-ship 💪 /j

also, miss "yumi in her break era" only five days ago, once again offering to write a fic to my tastes?! you will be the death of me. hand in marriage right now 🤝 /j but also, new series.. ? ✍️👀

○ chron 🃏

lucky for you, i'm physically incapable of writing short fics and loren is an actual witness. whenever i start a fic and go 'yo this actually be short like under 20k) it usually ends up being 26k+ 🤡 and tbh for me personally nothing can top a well-planned detailed fic no matter the length of it!

you're right! there's only so much you can do in a short scenario/imagine/drabble they're like fun little treats, kind of like appetisers/snacks as opposed to lengthy oneshots which i feel like are a full multiple-course meal (and then we have series which are like a whole buffet banquet feast you name it)

yeah there are a lot of factors. even as a writer i know that i prefer reading sth short when i don't have much time to spare but want a little break. reading lengthier works require a lot of time (like you said, about 2 hrs) and you gotta be in the mood all cosy and relaxed to fully enjoy them!

there's def so many shorter works being produced in huge quantities and consumed very rapidly too. writing them takes less time, you don't gotta work out so many details and lose your mind in the process (from my experience writing the few hcs and drabbles i have) and it's... fun? gets a greater audience, more notes? definitely. there are literally so many factors as to why people prefer writing/reading scenarios/drabbles over the lengthier works and i could honestly list them all but i feel like not everyone wants to hear that 💀

personally, i've been pretty consistent with writing the lengthier works, inspired by ppl here who've written so much such excellent monster works AHAHA and since the lengthier fics culture is pretty much dying (let's face it on tumblr it is dying slowly but steadily) i'm devoted to continue contributing to that specific part of the atinyfic community. i could always cook up some short scenarios (i plan to when it's time to retire but i still have ideas that i wanted to write) but for now, we write and write. we write endlessly without a care for the word count :')

there's honestly nothing wrong with wanting to read or write shorter works. i just wish the people who work so hard to create such beautiful and lengthy masterpieces got the attention they deserve. and i wish they do not compare their works to drabbles/scenarios (which you might have observed get a lot of notes in a very short amount of time) and continue writing for themselves and for the readers who appreciate them :')) we're always so incredibly grateful for the feedback we get bc we get some great quality feedback which is our pride :D

you have been very much noticed! me and loren were actually talking not too long ago about how you are one of the few ppl whose reblog we anticipate eagerly ahaha you've spoilt us honestly :') and when i saw your reblog last night (i was feeling incredibly low) i just smiled with tears in my eyes LOL ngl (co-dependency atp fr fr)

miss yumi has always been a clown who goes back on her words esp when it's about taking a break (i actually will be taking a two week break soon like actual break bc i'll be travelling so i'll be back mid aug) but miss yumi also loves writing bc it's the only interesting thing going on in her life and she would love to write for you too (proposal accepted let's pick dresses now :D)

as for the new series... 👀 the current word count is about 70k and i'm not even halfway- this might be the most intricate worldbuilding i've ever done like with the characters and how they're connected to each other (on par with take me home series, might even surpass) and it's... mafia! but the different kind, uniquely yumi LOL and the pairing hmm will remain a secret (take your guess come on)

i look forward to posting it so much it's become my comfort fic. i'll try to start posting it before 2024 but no promises yet bc i wanna finish writing it (or at least nearly finish) before i post the masterlist or teasers.

[lostwillowtree]

the thing i love about jd is that his whole belief isnt just ‘god is dead’ or ‘society is inherently evil’, he seems to have this belief that god exists within people, that divine power is wielded by those that know how to, and his goal is to wield it

this first becomes obvious in ‘our love is god’. i dont really need to spell it out, it’s in the title; jd and veronica’s love (or, more specifically, jd’s love for veronica) is strong enough to wield that power of god (“you are the only thing that’s right about this broken world”). this is his perception of their relationship - we will love each other so much that we can destroy the fucked up world and make a new, better one (“we’ll burn it down and then we’ll build the world again”)

the contrast between this and what veronica wants between them (seventeen) is the key underlying conflict in their story. veronica wants them to be normal and be happy with that, even if they could be more (“we’re not special, we’re not different, we don’t choose who lives or dies”).

nonetheless. in our love is god, jd writes a fake suicide note from ram and kurt (“ram and i died because we had to hide our gay forbidden love from a misapproving world”), which turns out to become reality in “my dead gay son”. if you missed that line(which i did first time i watched), you’d have no idea that kurt and ram being gay was made up; its never mentioned again. jd makes it reality because of his obsession with veronica.

ticking back, the same thing happens in “the me inside of me”, but jd’s stance isnt obvious yet because heather’s death comes off as a freak accident.

in “yo girl”, jd tells veronica’s parents about her depression (which, as far as im aware, isnt real), now skewing veronica’s reality, which she seems to play into by faking her suicide. this isnt enormous - it was just him lying to her parents, but it still kind of comes off as such.

and finally, in “meant to be yours”, he concocts the plan to convince the entire world that the students of westernburg high all decided to destroy the school with themselves in it. he tells veronica in “dead girl walking (reprise)” that “people are gonna see the ashes… and think, there a school that self destructed, not because society didnt care, but because that school was society.” jd quite literallt intends to ‘destroy society’ to prove a point; he doesnt believe the world can improve, but rather that it should be destroyed and reconstructed, as he plans in our love is god

and, naturally, in “i am damaged”, we come full circle. “wish you’d kiss me, than you’d know i worship you” proves that jd hasn’t really changed his motive at any point; from the start to now, he has being fully devoted to veronica. even now, he still believes that, even without him, its her who should be leading the world to improving (“stick around here, make things better”)

which is to say, that in our love is god, after shooting the two guys who sexually assaulted his girlfriend in front of her, he devotes himself to her as a goddess, the same words he says right before he dies (“i worship you, id trade my life for yours, we’ll make them disappear, we’ll plant our garden here / and once i disappear, clean up the mess down here”)

and back to ‘divine power is wielded by those that know how to’, jd clearly thinks this of the heathers; three girls who are percieved adjacent to gods in their school, he is partially responsible for killing heathers chandler and framing it as suicide, and attempts to convince veronica to do the same to one of the other heathers (i forgot which one).

jd does not believe that reality is shaped by gods, but by people who are willing to do so. the power of divinity is within every person and a human can become a god and manipulate reality to their will if they are willing to dehumanise themself so. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[anony-man]

Chubformers drabble #23!

Character: Megatron (and Lugnut; TFA)

Word count: 499

Being leader of the Decepticon army had its perks, especially when the subordinates were as doting as Megatron’s.

It was bordering on day three of absolute pampering, yet Megatron saw no end to the wonderful treatment. Oftentimes his most recent behavior, though unexpected as it was, had been seen as embarrassing by his underlings (or Starscream, more specifically), but Megatron deserved a little spoiling every so often. How was he to hold up his title if he didn’t allow himself to be taken care of?

He had his suspicions, of course, but his obedient soldier Lugnut was quickly growing to be one of Megatron’s favorites. The mech was a fool, of course, but his questionable motives were easily slid under the rug when the supplies came out. Megatron had always found it rather odd that someone would be so devoted to his pleasure without a little encouragement, but Lugnut continued to surprise him again and again.

“You are quite the example of a perfect minion, Lugnut” Megatron sighed. “It pains me that I’ve been so blinded to your presence for so long.”

“No harm done, my liege,” Lugnut said, his helm dipping low in a bow as he continued to massage a jar of expensive wax into the seams of Megatron’s pedes. “I only wish to be of help to you.”

“Mm,” came Megatron’s amused response. “Of course you do.”

Megatron was hardly a fool. Despite Lugnut’s eager desire to please, his not-so-secret advances were hardly missed. He had quickly caught on to the mech’s excessive help and service in the last few weeks, especially when rewarding Megatron in whatever ways he could. There seemed to be few downsides, of course—Lugnut was hardly as intelligent as someone like Starscream or Shockwave, and posed little threat to Megatron’s leadership. His obsessive attitude and near-constant doting, however, had led to some unforeseen consequences.

Lugnut’s servos roamed the length of Megatron’s legs, gentle fingers stopping to grope the chubby flab that hung from Megatron’s thighs. He hadn’t always been so… voluptuous, but it seemed there was something in particular Lugnut was looking to get from him. Megatron allowed the lusty approach, a soft sound of approval slipping free from him as Lugnut leaned in to lick at the growing rolls of his belly.

Megatron was growing fat from Lugnut’s spoiling, but he couldn’t quite be bothered to put an end to the treatment. He deserved it, after all. And besides, it felt good to see such a pathetic, blubbering mech grovel at his pedes and worship his frame. If the only downside that came from it was packing on a bit of extra weight, then so be it.

“Thank you, Lord Megatron,” Lugnut shuddered, optics closed in pure bliss as his servos took in the entirety of Megatron’s mass.

“No,” Megatron chuckled, his low in his throat. From beneath the mound of fat mesh that spilled into his lap, the sound of his panels clicking open could be heard. “Thank you.”

[agentkittymeowmeow]

Why have I seen no one talk about the fact that Nagito is pretty much Canonically gay? Or maybe I'm stupid and it's so obvious that he is that the fandom just decided it didn't need to be discussed, but regardless, I'm gonna talk about it because I'm fucking bored and I don't have motivation to do anything besides talk about gay people.

At the start of Dr2, Nagito is the only one that stays behind with Hajime on the beach while he was Unconscious, and continued to stick around with him while introducing him to everyone. He ends up finding himself really connecting to Hajime because Hajime isn't an ultimate and Nagito himself doesn't feel ultimate, so he feels like it makes them more similar.

Before it was reviled that Hajime had no talent, Nagito suggested that his talent could be serenity because "his mere presence brought him serenity."

And prior to chapter ones class trial, Hajime was the closest thing that Nagito had to a friend.

During his fifth hangout event, Nagito opens up to Hajime about his diseases and that he just wants to be loved for once before he dies. And holy shit dude. I get that the hangout events are basically just a dating simulator but thats so gay. Like it's canon that Nagito feels that way even though he told Hajime it was actually a lie(for his safety because everyone close to him will have bad luck). He just wants to be loved for once.

Also during his fifth hangout, he says "どうか忘れないで… ボクはキミを…キミの中に眠る希望を心から愛していると。"

In the official English translation, it's translated to:

"From the bottom of my heart... I am truly in love with the hope that sleeps inside you."

and yeah, its not necessarily inaccurate, but it really leaves out what power and meaning Nagito originally said has.

a mote accurate translation is something like, "Please don't forget I love yo-.... the hope that sleeps inside you."

It's also very important to note that in the original text he says, "愛している" or "ishiteiru" which on the surface just translates to "I love you" It's a very very strong word to use to say I love you and is considered very romantic, so the fact that he said that to Hajime, is basically confirmation that he loves him.

but if that wasn't enough, I have a lot more to point Nagito having romantic feelings for Hinata.

First, the literal outro for Danganronpa 3 "Zettai Kibou basude" or "Absolute hope's birthday" is sung by Megumi Ogata (Nagito's Japanese voice) And Has some, interesting lyrics, to say the least.

"in the school building at night,

my heart throbs as i contiune to wait.

"I was born for the sake of meeting you" was what I thought at that time."

"I'll mess you up and let you induldge"

"I want you"

"I miss you"

"All of me is devoted to you"

THERE'S SO MUCH MORE. I could literally make a whole post on how gay that song is holy hell.

Oh and if it somehow wasn't obvious enough that the song is about Hajime, it was released on Hajime's birthday, or the absolute hope's birthday. (yk, like the song is called)

So it's pretty obvious at this point that this man is hella gay for Hajime. Like to say that he's straight at this point is just ignorant.

Oh and we have another gayass song.

"Poison -gekiyaku-" (I think) it translates to "Poison -Deadly Drug-"

This is his character song, again sung by Megumi Ogata.

The song literally opens up with:

"I wish I meet the biggest hope,

glistens than other which

I want to see a desire,

glistens than anyone else

I love, and want to understand

him more than anyone else

more, more than anyone else.".

I love and want to understand him more than anyone else? this dude actually straight up came out at this point.

That's basically the really big things I wanted to get out of the way, but there are so many little details that hint towards him just being gay or liking Hajime that i would still like to point out.

Like in Danganronpa 3, when he meets Makoto after waking up from his coma, he grabs onto his hands. Yes Nagito loves hope obviously but sonce when do heterosexual guys just grab the hands of someone they just met?

And the scene on the boat that same episode that shows Chiaki's ghost dissapear when Nagito calls Hajime over to show that Hajime is moving forward. gay as hell.

And this that I honestly, cannot believe is real, this scene from Ultra despair girls

BRO HE HAD TO PAUSE LIKE "Shit, he knows." LIKE HOLY FUCK I'M SHITTING MYSELF OVER THIS STILL AND IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I WAS IN MY DANGANRONPA PHASE.

Anyways, this isn't even everything I could find. this bitch is gay end of story. I don't even need to say more.

[jimintomystery]

Toko headcanons

[Above: Dramatization! May not have happened!]

All right, remember when I started posting Danganronpa headcanons? Well, I kinda forgot to finish up with the less popular characters. So let's circle back to that.

I didn't care much for Toko at first, probably because her whole deal embodies the batsht worldbuilding that makes Danganronpa so confounding. Also, she's passionately fixated on justifying her assumptions that no one could possibly like her, so that makes her kind of a pain. Once I started writing fanfic, though, I realized I had to get a handle on this dork, and that's when I started to realize how much fun she is.

The big issue for me is that I cannot believe Toko spent two years at Hope's Peak Academy without her classmates learning her darkest secret: that she shares a split personality with the notorious serial killer Genocide Jack.

(It's "Genocide Sho" in the original Japanese, and the video game's English localization switches between "Genocide Jack" and "Genocide Jill." I'm not sure why they didn't just do Joe/Jo--that seems like a missed opportunity. In any case, "Genocide Jack" is a very solid name, so I tend to stick with that.)

It's not clear to me yet how much contact Jack would have had with Toko's classmates in the "lost" period before THH. We know her side of Toko's mind was unaffected by the memory wipe. But when she emerges in the second trial, she sort of acts like she's meeting everyone for the first time. Then again, it would be consistent if Jack knew them all very well, and just didn't have any reason to make that information clear. A careful reading of her dialogue in THH might turn up some interesting angles on this.

I think we're meant to understand that Toko and Jack's attraction to Byakuya is consistent with how Jack selects her victims. The only thing Toko and Jack ever agree on is obeying Byakuya's wishes. Jack indicates that no one can hurt Byakuya until Jack herself has the honor of killing him, and that this would be the consummation of their twisted love affair. Byakuya is smart enough to pick up on this stuff. So he probably knows everyone is safe from Jack except for him, and that stringing Toko/Jack along will draw out the process and buy himself more time.

Obviously after THH, Byakuya encourages Toko to find ways to control Jack, and Ultra Despair Girls shows that these efforts are largely successful. So I think it's fair to assume something similar happened in the missing two years at Hope's Peak. The class found out about Jack, Toko and Jack focused their obsessions on Byakuya, and Byakuya was therefore motivated to help Toko bring Jack under control. In general I like to think Jack settles into an attitude of "these are the jagoffs I don't feel like murdering (yet)."

I feel bad ignoring Toko to devote so much attention to Jack. But the bottom line is that Jack is Toko, or a part of her anyway. Everything Jack says or does is a twisted expression of Toko's motivations, however repressed they may be. She can't fully control Jack without accepting that fact, and what it says about her. I don't think it's a coincidence that her control is at its greatest in UDG and Danganronpa 3, after Toko has bonded with the other THH survivors over their shared ordeal.

My headcanon is that the six survivors form a unique bond that's common to all of them, but Toko is easily the hardest character to work into that premise. She's openly hostile to the others, in a way that makes Byakuya and Kyoko seem like teddy bears in comparison. At least some of the group is capable of seeing past the walls she puts up, to put in the work to support her, but it's in her nature to make that a thankless task.

In UDG, Toko regards Komaru Naegi as the first real friend she's ever had, and I tend to believe her. But that would mean she doesn't consider any of the THH survivors to be her friends. Which...okay, that's Toko for you. But it's difficult to get a grasp on that. I have to think that between THH and UDG, Makoto would have made at least as much effort to be Toko's friend as his sister, so I'm not sure why he (and the other survivors) utterly failed where Komaru succeeded. I really need to watch a playthrough of UDG to figure this out.

Until I sort that out, my general vibe on Toko's relationship with the other survivors is that she thinks they're stuck with her because she happened to not get murdered. The group revolves around Byakuya/Makoto/Kyoko figuring out what to do, and Makoto/Hiro/Hina being good buddies--Toko doesn't fit into either of those axes. The most obvious reason she's useful to keep around is because Jack can kick some ass, which would be no comfort to Toko. To the extent the others reassure her that she belongs with them, she assumes it's a cruel lie. But she has no one else to turn to, so she has little choice but to live with that "lie."

I think on some level, Toko knows Byakuya doesn't love her, and is unlikely to ever fall in love with her. But she's never met anyone who perfectly fits her humiliation kink, which makes their relationship a turn-on for her whether he secretly cares about her or couldn't give a shit less. Byakuya is sharp enough to figure that out, so I believe he uses it to serve his interests. Do his interests include trying to make a masochist happy? Perhaps not, but I think it's more fun to not rule out the possibility.

I have no strong feelings on whether Toko and Komaru's friendship should develop into romance. Practically speaking, I don't think it could seriously happen unless Toko could drop the whole "Master Byakuya" bit, and that seems like it would be a long way off. I can't think that many steps ahead--it's like planning out the characters' weddings, or what their children would be named.

Makoto, Hiro, and Hina make a decent effort to make Toko feel like part of the group, and they put up with her bullshit when that inevitably backfires. Eventually that works out to the dynamic of adopting a feral cat. At some point, the cat still won't let you pet her, but she knows she's stuck with you and anyway there's no point biting the hand that feeds her. Hina gradually gets Toko to stop saying so many pervy things about her body. Hiro gradually accepts that Jack isn't going to kill him someday because Toko and Jack both find him intensely unattractive.

I think there's a lot to get into with Toko's relationship to Kyoko. Toko thinks everyone has no use for her; everyone thinks Kyoko has no use for them. Toko rejects friendliness as a pretense; Kyoko doesn't even bother with the pretense of being polite, let alone friendly. Get them into a real conversation and they'd probably cut straight to the bone, which would probably reveal some common ground between them. I need to work on that some time...

[boundinparchment]

Of Blood and Sparks - Interlude III

Karina Alexandre of Fontaine lost her position, her family, and her Archon's favor. A dead Electro Vision is her mark of guilt. A reminder to never fail again. Faith shattered, and suspicious of the Fatui, she eventually makes her way to Liyue, where she encounters a certain funeral parlor consultant. Little does she know it's only the beginning. Original character centric; eventual Zhongli/OC.Posted originally at @chevalier-of-fontaine. ArchiveOfOurOwn || FF.net || Rhiannon Details

“This way.”

She’d missed this.  How they wove in and out of corridors, hands entwined, all whispers and muffled laughs.  Columbina was correct in her prediction that the 11th Harbinger would make a short detour into Fontaine first before heading further south into Liyue.

He helped her practice lines until her delivery was perfect, even going so far as to be the stand-in when her fellow lead did not show up for rehearsal.  Rhiannon wished the Harbinger was the one in the show with her; his name would draw in additional crowds, and it would even do a world of good for public image.  A showcase of the diplomacy between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, where the only ulterior motive was the added benefit of easing her loneliness.

Her schedule was cleared with a quick order to one of her subordinates and no one dared interfere when they left together for a late lunch at his hotel.  They returned in time for her evening performance, and her attention on the box off to stage left made it difficult to focus on her aria; she was ever so slightly off-key.  As if her mind could not fully devote itself to the immediate task at hand.  Not her best performance, she supposed, but the cost was more than agreeable for it.

Tartaglia’s presence was a welcome change, even temporarily, from the isolation that came with being back in her home region.  

The pair made their way through the costume and set departments, dormant at this hour, save for the single stage-hand on watch.  A necessity.  Drinking was common backstage, and few things were more dangerous than too much liquor and attempting to walk the scaffolds high above the stage.  Or, Archons forbid, access the roof.

Rhiannon felt eyes on her as she and Tartaglia made their way to the staircase that led to the dormitories for the dancers and chorus singers.  It led somewhere else, too, if one had the key.

Unlike the Fatui who guarded her wing, the stagehands and other staff at the opera never truly kept her from doing as she wished.  Whether it was because she was an outsider or because that was just the way primas were treated, she couldn’t discern.  And truthfully, she preferred it that way.  Perish the thought that someone recognized her from the garment district.  Most knew which daughter supposedly died that horrific day.

“You’ve really never been up here?  You only go where you’re allowed to go?” Tartaglia teased, fiddling with the key.

“Haven’t had much time to,” Rhiannon replied.  “My rehearsal schedule is rigid, and it seems a better use of my time to check on the lower arrondissements than stand in the cold.”

The door unlocked and Childe stepped through, holding his hand out for her.  “Then, I think you’ll enjoy the view.”

Rhiannon took his hand and crossed the threshold, her thin slipper meeting cold metal.  The roof was a perilous place to be for anyone, especially at this hour.  Her grip on Childe’s hand tightened and together they walked across the narrow spine to the statue at the apex of the facade.  She could only focus on putting one foot ahead of another and keeping her dress out of the way of her steps.

“If you keep looking down, Baptisia, you’ll miss it,” Childe teased.

Rhiannon paused and brought herself to look out beyond the roof below her feet.  Before her, all of Fontaine’s grand city, Lutetia, was alight in a golden glow.  She could see far into the neighborhoods beyond, the occasional drift of steam ruining the skyline.  The price of progress.  In the distance, bells tolled alongside the ever-present mechanical clanking; the heartbeat of the nation.

Celestia hovered nearby, just above the high waterfall in the outskirts.  Watching.  Waiting.

She never cared as a child.  It didn’t mean much to her, other than her nation being blessed for being so close to the Heavenly Platform.

Now, she knew better than to think of it as benevolent.

“It’ll look even more beautiful once the sky is truly clear,” Rhiannon replied.  “Nothing above to obscure the world’s true nature.”

She and Childe continued on towards the edge of the roof, to one of the poised statues of the Muse of Melody.  Her companion made quick work of climbing the statue to stand upon its shoulder.  His muffler fluttered in the night breeze as he surveyed the area.  She grabbed her skirts and hoisted herself up onto the statue’s other side, leaning on its open wing to keep her from falling.

His hunger for a good fight was beginning to wear down his patience for civility.  Rhiannon could see it in the way his grip tightened around nothing, how his gaze lingered on the bright and raucous area in the outskirts.  The fighting was usually best in the lower tiers and outer neighborhoods; the people there knew what it took to survive.  

“I’m glad you were able to at least have a respite,” Rhiannon said at last, breaking the silence.

Said respite was not necessarily restful, granted.  

“I couldn’t make such a long trip without a little detour,” Childe replied.  “I promised treats and gifts from every place I stopped.”

“And you always keep your promises,” she finished for him.

Childe shot her a grin, the seriousness of the moment shattered by a laugh.  In this light, his eyes almost appeared to finally have a reflection, a glimmer of the boy from Before.  What beautiful eyes he must have had before he saw the Abyss and became…

“If Tonia and Teucer heard I didn’t stop by to see you, they would be devastated.  You know what it’s like to not want to let others down,” he said.

They shared a look, one that spoke volumes without a single word falling from their lips.  Despite the statue between them, Rhiannon found herself leaning forward, her mind suddenly blank except for the desire to feel Childe’s mouth on hers.  It wouldn’t have been the first time, although usually those moments were preceded by sparring sessions.

His breath tickled her skin as he leaned in closer to whisper, “No broken promises, not while I still stand.”

Rhiannon felt her heart skip as she realized how close he was, the scent of spiced cedar familiar and comforting.  It was distinct, just like his presence.  

The Understudy closed the distance between them hastily, one kiss following another, each hungrier than the last.  When they parted, Rhiannon felt dazed, her lips swollen.  The cold evening air no longer bothered her; her desire warmed her far more than her overcoat did.

“You should go,” she whispered.  “Before it gets too late.  You can’t arrive in Liyue behind schedule.”

She understood that he would not stay.  He rarely ever did, Gnosis agenda aside.  It was a big task, handling the Gnosis handoff of the oldest reigning Archon in Teyvat.  He had other matters to attend to and the Tsaritsa’s intentions always needed protecting.  

Duty always took precedent.

They climbed down from the statue and, despite her insistence that she could return alone, the Harbinger accompanied her to the heavy door of her suite.  The Skirmisher in charge of her wing was not-so-subtly nodding off at their post, using the wall to prop themselves up until the next shift.

Childe placed a gloved hand under her chin before he murmured, “Sweet dreams, moya lyubimaya.  And next time, you owe me a match.”

Rhiannon opened the door to her room after he turned to leave but didn’t enter until she saw his figure round the corner and she could no longer hear his footsteps.  Sleep came easily, for once, and she wished the peace that came with it lasted forever.

[spushii]

LITERALLY SO GLAD THAT THE FEELING INSANE OVER THIS SERIES IS MUTUAL FR ITS BEEN ABSOLUTELY TEARING ME APART id love to hear your thoughts!!!! *_* I have been itching to read more posts about it but also trying to avoid spoilers rbdbdbjf

I just started nona yesterday, I finished harrow few days ago but god that one fucked with me good I needed a bit to just let everything that happened sink in. like ITS SO GOOD it’s so much darker than the first book and I still don’t have the words to express how much I genuinely enjoyed the second one it’s literally so fucking great. I was almost tempted to reread harrow after I finished it but I wanted to read all three before any rereads lol but the attachment I have to these characters is insane I just fucking cling to them so badly I am so unwell. love gideon, my best friend gideon I miss her sm…

SQUEEEEEEEEEE IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED HARROW!!! its such a phenomenal book its so. um. Harrowing. lol. im going to have a really hard time articulating just all of the Shit That I Think About with this book series because there really really is so much.

getting right into the meat of my thoughts i guess. i really love how Gideon's bit with Ianthe at the end of HtN recontextualizes the bit of the pool scene where Harrow talks about the first time she saw The Body. where it really does feel like in that moment Gideon simultaneously realized that she was in love with Harrowhark and that Harrow would never feel the same. And i think it allows you to glean some of the genuinely a little bit selfish motivation behind Gideon's suicide. There were a lot of things that motivated Gideon to kill herself so Harrow and Camilla could live, but i think a significant portion of it was her not wanting to live a life indebted to Harrow in a way she would never be content with (Connecting mostly to Harrow asking her to return to the ninth house and care for it ((and by extension, The Body)) in her stead, in the event of her death), which is to say in the grand scheme of things, the choice between Living for Harrow and Dying for Harrow was a very easy one to make for Gideon Nav.

I dont have as much analysis for this but god i think all the fucking time. About Gideon the First attacking Harrow in the bathroom. and the subsequent Everything. It's just so fucking. Bleak. Reading it is physically exhausting. It's so. oh my god. I don't even know what to say. Fucking "Harrow, do something normal." I'm Going To Kill Myself. Im Going To Kill John Gaius. The fact that she KILLS him and it doesnt even KEEP. THE FUCKING. THIS. HARROWWWWW

HARROWHARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL IN MY LIFE AFTER IVE READ THIS

I do love John. as much as i hate him i love him as well. He's such a fucking coward. such a worthless piece of shit. such a suffocatingly interesting character. I love when Harrow tries to ask him about Alecto and he goes on about fucking "You'd make a hell of a daughter, Harrowhark. I sometimes indulge in the wish that you'd been mine." LITERALLY FUCKING WHAT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOTU WHERE AM I.what if you had a crush on a girl but you had an even bigger crush on her dad's dead ex-girlfriend and then her dad told you that he wished you were his daughter. i feel so fucking abnormal

EDITING THIS POST BECAUSE I FORGOT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WAKE. WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT???????????????? god i think forever about how much Gideon Nav loved her mother. how much she clung to the belief that she was loved. Has Gideon Nav ever been knowingly loved by anyone, in her life? Maybe Aiglemene loved her, in a way. But Gideon wouldn't have known that until it was far too late to treasure it. Harrow certainly loves her, but Gideon can't believe that. Not with The Body in the way. Not with Harrow, to Gideon, seeming so disgusted with her final act of devotion that she destroyed her own mind to be rid of the knowledge of it. Magnus treated her kindly, but kind is a far cry from love. But she loved her mother. Held the belief so desperately-yet-gently close to her chest, that her mother loved her too. Loved her enough to come crashing and burning through the Ninth planet's atmosphere and dying herself on the way down. Loved her enough to protect her life at the expense of her own. Imagine, then, for Gideon to learn that she was a tool. A key. Her destiny in life was to die within the first days of her birth; a blood sacrifice, as her mother willed it. Her mother hadn't brought her to the Ninth House in an attempt to save her, she'd brought her there on her way to kill her. Its So. God. Fuck this fucking book. Has Gideon ever been loved? Every truly been loved by anyone in this world? If she has, she doesn't know it.

[crybabyscc]

Hello Bunnies

My name in the Sims 4 community is Sammoyke Murasaki, but please call me Sam if you wish. I have played the Sims franchise for almost 20 years. In those years I have grown attached to custom content being involved in my gameplay but only in Sims 4 was I truly able to consider making my own content. A few things to know about my Patreon, why I decided to make it, and what I desire out of it.

1. Easy Access to My Content

After a lot of different methods of attempting to share my CC, I kept finding myself losing motivation to update and manage my content. Since I am a devoted CC shopper myself, I paid close attention to what I found were the easiest methods to use, as someone downloading. Patreon simply always seemed to be not only the easiest to download but also the fastest. After some consideration, I decided that I would give this method a try.

2. Free Content is Free

As I said earlier, I have played Sims since Sims 1 which means the idea of paying for CC has never really felt comfortable. That doesn't mean I won't happily support some of my favorite custom content creators with likes, shares, and donations but I have an aversion to sites that use shady and annoying adware links and ads, and I am particularly disgusted by paywall creators. So, one of the things that are really important to me is that I provide my CC for FREE with NO guilty strings attached. I am not going to burden my followers with my personal life struggles and encourage donations. I will be straight up with you that it's HIGHLY likely any patron donations I receive will go to fund my Monster Java Coffee drinks that I partake in while creating CC. I do not require your financial support but if you decide you want to show gratitude in that way, this Crybaby will shed grateful tears and send you bunny hugs.

3. Sharing is Caring

What I hope to get out of sharing my sims 4 CC here is simple enough, I want to give back to the very community I have benefited from for all these years. Thousands of cc items have been downloaded by yours truly, just for the Sims 4 game alone, so naturally, it feels only right and fair to try and offer something back. That said, I don't claim to create groundbreaking custom content, but I do hope that the things I create are enjoyed by some simmers and add to your gameplay experience the way other creators' creations have added to mine for almost two decades.

4. The Plan

I will be adding previously made custom content from the past three years over the next couple of days. I will then aspire to create something for the community on a weekly basis. Though I might not always be able to make "bundles" or "packs" every week, I will do my best to make visiting my Patreon often worth your time.

5. Maxis Match "Guarantee"

Because I am not a mesh creator and specialize more in textures and recolors I can safely promise that nearly all my CC will be Maxis Match in that nearly everything will be a Maxis Match item. I do try to change things significantly with the item to make it worth adding it to your collection and that does sometimes include small mesh edits. I do tend to use higher resolutions for my textures, though I would not consider them HD. I simply feel that as much as I love this game, the quality of some in-game items is less than it could be, I aim to provide clear, good-quality retextures/recolors. If you see problems with any of the items I offer, don't hesitate to let me know, I can miss things! Please make sure to read any descriptions for the item you're downloading in case certain issues have been addressed in the download.

6. Simmer Opinions

I want to know what you would like to see! I will hold polls when I am wrestling with ideas or stuck on what concept to tackle. Polls will be public.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺   ༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺  ༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

For now, that's all I have to say. I hope to get to know some fellow lovers of Sims CC. Have a good day! Sul Sul!

[scourgeblooms]

11 and 12 for the Commander Asks?

@mystery-salad

ough these are good questions. ty for asking! (this got kinda long and there's also just some general spoilers regarding aurene throughout so I'm putting this under a cut)

11. What is your commander's relationship with Aurene? Do they hold any resentment towards Aurene for leaving?

Azilab is not a crier. He doesn't cry when he's injured. He's not a happy crier. He's not an angry crier. He doesn't express his devastation/loss/sadness through tears. But Aurene brings him to tears all the time. The first time Azilab cried over Aurene was when she named herself and he was the first to know. He was sobbing when Aurene showed up during the fight with Balthazar. Hysterical when Aurene's vision came to pass during the encounter with Kralkatorrik. He was completely inconsolable for like three days after Aurene left.

He's so incredibly honored to be her Champion and works hard to make sure Aurene never regrets choosing him. There's an insecurity there on his end that I don't think he's completely aware of, but it's definitely one of his most potent motivators: do not disappoint this dragon or else she's going to abandon me. Nevertheless, their goals have always aligned perfectly and I like to believe that the two trust each other completely. Their push-and-pull when sharing their abilities during combat are as natural as breathing to them; they're a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield. Their bond has gone beyond death. He'd do anything for her. His devotion to her is borderline religious. He's completely besotted. "You could be an ancient dragon, Aurene, and I would still come with fish."

As far as Aurene leaving, he struggles. He struggles with not knowing where she is, what she's doing, how she's feeling. He misses her omnipresent warmth at the edges of his consciousness even when they were continents apart. He misses hearing her wind chime voice. The fact that he might not ever see her again destroys him and he tries his best not to think about it. He feels a little bit abandoned and directionless; being sylvari, he's always sort of been tied to a dragon (Mordremoth, then Aurene) and he has no idea what to really do without one. But he can understand why she went away and wishes her nothing but peace, safety, and rest. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wishes that he could've gone with her, but her parting words ring true to him: "Our path is our own" and it's his turn now to figure out what that new path is.

12. Is your commander still on good terms with the Pact and/or their initial Order?

I'm ngl I get jumpscared every time an npc greets me as "Agent/Lightbringer Azilab" and I'm gonna say that Azi does too. Joining an Order seemed like it was entire LIFETIMES ago, but Azilab still operates with a lot of the Order of Whispers' core tenants in mind even if he's not aware of it and doesn't really consider himself a member anymore. He's good at gathering intel and certainly appreciates a stealth mission every now and then.

His relationship with/memories of the Pact are bittersweet at best. He was young, inexperienced, and made a lot of mistakes that cost lives. Some of those early relationships and losses were his most painful (Tybalt, and technically Trahearne later down the line). Though taking down Zhaitan will always be Azilab's first spark of "Oh, I'm meant to do this."

[querenciaofmelancholy]

Hi.

I am facing a tumultuous time in my life. My future lies in my hand, yearning to be with me. But am I bringing my hand closer? My brain wants it, my heart aches for it, but no god damn muscle in my body is working for it. Everytime I decide to bring the hand closer, my hand catches a distraction- the future forgotten.

And yes, I know future me will regret if I don't work right now. I want to get my father's health fixed, my mother the chance to sit in front and buy all the Saris she wants and my sisters to be proud of what they have made of me. Where is the motivation lacking though, I fail to discover. Every bone and muscle in my body is aware that this is one of the most crucial defining moments of my life, yet and yet everything collectively in me is watching the hourglass flick away, fascinated by the motion, the devotion lost. While I do write this, I ask myself repeatedly every night, every time someone does better than me, every time I wish I could be what I want to be, will I ever get out of this loop?

I know CLAT is in mere 100 days, September and December exams just within days, college applications to be filled, CUET and SET to be prepared for, and I know I have been a bad example of what I can handle in my past few years, but I also know I can do it. I have every single capability of getting into NLU banglore, topping in all subjects in my September, December , pre-boards, boards and getting my goddamn name on that honor roll and getting into top DU colleges + getting full in General test for Mass Media/Polsci, history, and getting into Ashoka on 100% scholarship. I just know I can do it all. And I know I have the mental capability to handle all this.

But, because there's always a but, what if I falter? What if I miss one day of studying because I slept the entire day, what if I want to watch one more episode of the bear, what if I want to go out with my family what if what if what if what if. But what if I give it my all for this one goddamn year, get my future on the right path, enjoy my entire life through. How beautiful would that be? Or how beautiful would living my life right now be? I won't regret enjoying right now, ending up in a medium college because I know I will kind of find my way out. But what if I start carving out my future right now, like I see the people I want to be doing, what if I put in more effort than them even if it doesn't give me even 3 hours of sleep? Real question is, what if I become what I want to be? Will the struggle of one year be worth it? The answer, is something I will confirm after one year. However for now, as a 17 year old kid in her bedroom declaring this to herself, yes. I know it will be. I know I am scared of putting in so much effort and it accumulating into nothing. What if I die tomorrow? Will all that newspaper reading for clat do me good? will all that black coffee I drank to be awake for my paper do me good? will that vein bursting stress I had on 6am of my 10th board sst paper while still in the process of completing the syllabus do me any good? What if I only remember the few fun times I had in my life because I was busy doing this?

I am fully making up this positive answer so this leads somewhere, because I don't know the very truth. But I kind of think I will be goddamn proud of myself for the struggle. For trying to get somewhere. For trying my shot, for trying to be what I want to be, for being demeaned by herself everything she fails and yet, and yet still trying till the very end. The trying part itself is the hardest. Because, what if they succeed again? Because what if their hard work is more than mine, yet again? I work hard at working hard, but I don't do the working hard.

Even if I happen to die tomorrow, future sniggie, just so you know, I gave everything a god fucking damn chance. And I am a fucking soldier for that. Nobody, nobody can beat me in trying. And if that's the only thing I will ever be good at, let that be. I am a worker, and I will always be one. Trying is my thing.

Alright bye!

(written on 15 of August 2024)

[dadkisser15]

Disgust /

I feel like I’m stuck in a state of distraught, he understands my motives and why I did what I did but everything feels so wrong. I already felt a decline and I practically shoved down a flight of stairs. I’ve already apologized countless times but saying sorry will not rebuild the lost trust and disgust I’ve evoked. I just wanted to spend time with him but I wish I never did that, I wish I never took my friends advice on this. She doesn’t even care for me like how I care for her, she couldn’t even speak to me when I was breaking down at my lowest yet I was always there for her; so why did I put my trust in her judgment. I ruined the one good thing I had going for me relationship wise, even speaking to him last night made me feel so much calmer. But why. Why can I not get it through my thick skull that he will never love me like how I love him, a very stubborn part of me believes he could love me; even with and without my flaws. He’s said and called me things no one has ever and he doesn’t know how special that makes him in my eyes. When I love someone I really do because I’m willing to commit to him, have a future and be happy together. Just hearing him makes all my fears and worries go away and I’m so scared of losing him, to another woman or just by my own faults. But I’ve fucked up real bad, my attempt to get closer only pushed him away and something crazy like this is only something I could dream of doing and I don’t know why I would do it. Why didn’t I think of the consequences and how this could ruin the trajectory of our relationship. On my way home I almost started praying, praying that the bus would bring me home faster and praying for him. He doesn’t seem as bothered by it compared to how I feel but I pray that he still wants me (in general) I don’t have any specifics for that but I don’t want what we have to change cause god knows I’ll miss our closeness and the way we talk. This hurts to think about, it hurts to think about losing someone close to me again and this time it would be all my fault so I can only blame myself and hate myself for it. I could only feel shame last night, everytime I heard him sigh after I said something in my stupidly shaky voice I wanted to actually just cry and I hated how his voice was making me feel, it really wasn’t appropriate at the time but his voice was so quiet and calm, his tone was just so sweet to me and I wanted to make my brain explode because I couldn’t be thinking those things while having a serious conversation with him. I feel disgusted with myself, not because I disliked the way he was making me feel; it was because I enjoyed the way he was making me feel and I’m just mad at myself for not being able to control that. It’s just like when I’m upset with him i cannot resist him one bit and now that the roles were reversed I still couldn’t and I feel so much shame. It makes me want to cry because he was so patient and understanding I hate myself for doing this to him, doing this to us; what we had was fine as is so why couldn’t I have some patience. It felt like I wasn’t myself and honestly I haven’t been feeling like myself at all, I just wanted his attention so why couldn’t I just ask for that ? I was really tired of the constant rejections but why why why did I do that. I. Don’t want him to stop calling me those sweet names and I don’t want him to hate me or just want to avoid me so why would I do this to myself. Gosh kev. Kev you mean so much to me and this is killing me, I feel so much guilt and regret. Please don’t leave me, I wanted to ask you not to leave me but I can’t make you stay, I can’t ask you to do that because I don’t have the right to ask for that. But please, you mean so much to me and I don’t want this odd incident to mess with what we have. I know you don’t plan on leaving but I feel like somehow you’ll emotionally check out, I want to fix this and I want to use this and somehow build our bond so we’re closer. My devotion towards you is never ending and I hope to stay close in the future.