#i need a new hyperfixation every week apparently

[ladylokilaufeyson5]

me: i’m in my [character/fandom] era. i think it’s going to be permanent

also me, literally a week later: i’m in my [different character/fandom] era. i think it’s going to be permanent

[stormz369]

The King of Hell and Me: Ch 2 - Molting

Chapter Guide Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4

Summary: Lucifer goes missing because he's embarrassed. Preening ensues. Wolf-demon reader. Warnings: fluff, Lucifer being bad at vulnerability, animal characteristics, implied arousal, rated mature (maybe?) Word Count: 3k

Lucifer had his own home, of course. But since the hotel’s grand re-opening, he’d been staying in his suite here. To be closer to Charlie, or to get himself out of his depression funk, or maybe both, it wasn’t clear. Either way, we’d found ourselves spending a lot of time together. We ate breakfast together most days, he told me all about his most recent duck-based inventions, and he was the only person I let into my office while I was doing my work for the hotel. Charlie had hired me as an all-purpose consultant, letting me work on any projects I wanted, and I dove straight into the advertising/community outreach/PR side of things. My work didn’t typically look like much until I had a completed product to present, so I didn’t like to have people watching my process, and as long as I kept her in the loop Charlie didn’t mind my secretive ways. But Lucifer was a creative mind too. He understood that sitting at my desk apparently doing nothing wasn’t actually nothing, and he let me be.

He was also the only person allowed to put things in my office, but that was only because he felt it was odd that I was a wolf without a pack, -because “Even hellhounds have packs, dear girl! Wolf-demons aren’t that uncommon, you need a family!”- and had started making one for me, a slowly growing pack of rubber ducks with wolf ears and fluffy tails. Every so often I’d find a new one in my office, and each one did something unusual. A pair facing each other on the windowsill had a laser between them that would alert us to intruders, but most were silly things like duck-wolves that could jump and growl, or were actually soap dispensers or changed color with the weather. 

It actually worked out to be a mutually beneficial relationship. We both had a tendency to dive headfirst into our hyperfixations, and when one of us did, the other usually managed to keep them from spiraling too far. He’d comb my hair and fur, and remind me to take breaks. I’d bring him dinner and get him out of his room when he was getting frustrated. One time I even sat in the bathroom taking notes while he talked so he could shower without losing his flow. We weren't exactly romantic, but it was far more emotionally intimate than any romantic relationship I’d ever had. And, with no one else filling that role for either of us, we did end up on the receiving end of a lot of ‘old married couple’ jokes. 

And that’s why, when he suddenly just wasn’t at the hotel one morning, I got a bit nervous. And, I’ll be honest, frustrated. I reminded myself that just because we typically spent breakfasts together didn’t mean we had to every day. Just because he’d told me every time he was leaving the hotel for the last few months didn’t mean he was beholden to me. We were friends, but he wasn’t mine and I couldn’t tell him what to do. I had no right or reason to be put off by this unexpected change to my routine. So I ate breakfast alone, went down to my office to work alone, and … couldn’t get into it. I couldn’t focus, everything was just a bit off. I should be able to hear his breathing, see his faint glow out of the corner of my eye, feel his hands in my hair. But I was entirely, soul crushingly, alone. 

I texted him every day for the first week. Then once every few days, which quickly became once a week, but he never responded. He didn’t even look at them. I was starting to think he might be mad at me, but I couldn’t imagine what I could have done to upset him so much. I started working evenings, finding it less uncomfortable to be alone at night, but I had trouble getting much done either way. Charlie started bringing me breakfast in my office when everyone else had dinner. I appreciated that she was making sure I ate, but I was just as worried about her as she was about me. Lucifer hadn’t reached out to her either, and he wasn’t taking her calls, and her calm facade was starting to crack. At least she had Vaggie though. I was just alone.

A month into his disappearance I was working late again. Everyone was in bed, and I was trying to finish up this advertising campaign mock up for Charlie, when I heard the door of the hotel creak open. My ears perked up, and I cracked my office door open, listening carefully. I couldn’t make out who had come to visit. There were footsteps, light and airy but far too heavy to be Lucifer. I sniffed the air, glad for my more animalistic senses, hoping to catch some kind of clue. Friend, or foe? Welcome, or defend? The air smelled … musty, and damp. Something was very off.

I flicked my wrist, extending my claws, and made my way silently down the dark hallway. The intruder stumbled up the stairs, it would be silent to those without acute hearing, but I heard every step. I followed along, trying to visualize where they were from the sounds. They made their way past the elevator and up more flights of stairs, and I tracked along behind them, staying a floor below them to avoid detection. I wanted to know who they were, but I also wanted to know what they were looking for. When they finally made their way down a hallway, I glowered. They were on Charlie’s floor. I waited, listening halfway up the stairs so I could pounce if needed, until I heard them stop at a door. I jumped up, landing a few feet away from the short, trenchcoat clad figure. They jumped, pressing themself against the wall as if they could disappear through it, and dropped … a key?

“... Lucifer?” I whispered.

He turned toward me, a sheepish grin on his face. “... Heeey … I’m home!”

I sighed, scooping up his key and unlocking his door, gesturing for him to go inside. “Don’t wake Charlie.”

He nodded, darting inside. His footfalls were too heavy, he was hunched over a bit, and his back looked bulky under his coat. Something was wrong. He sat awkwardly on the couch, kicking his feet a bit. “Sooo … How’ve you been?”

“How have I been? … Luc, where have you been? … Y- you didn’t call, you didn’t tell anyone where you were going, or when you’d be back, you sneak in in the dead of night in whatever that is, you smell like a drowned bird, and you’re walking like an injured dog. And you ask how I’ve been???” A deranged laugh ripped its way out of my throat as I collapsed onto the seat next to him. “... Do you even care that we’ve all been worried sick? … I … you didn’t text me back … You were just … gone.”

He flinched a bit, hesitantly reaching for my hand. “... I .. I’m sorry, puppy … I didn’t mean to scare you. I just … I had something to attend to.”

I sighed softly, letting him take my hand. “What was so important that you couldn’t even tell us you were ok?”

“I … just had to …” He sighed. “Look, it’s kind of embarrassing, ok? I …” He mumbled something, a low whine in the back of his throat masking his words.

“... What was that?”

“I’m molting, ok?” He whined, shifting uncomfortably. “I’m molting, and I can’t comfortably put my wings away until it’s over, and they’re ugly right now! So I just … I thought I’d just go to the manor until it was over. I was only coming back tonight to get my sketchbook so I could work on a project…”

I blinked a bit, trying not to laugh. “... Right. … Just so I’m clear, cause I didn’t really interact with birds on earth. Molting is the one where birds lose a bunch of feathers and get new ones, right?” He nodded. “And it’s a yearly thing?”

He nodded again, “For most birds. Angels get a little one each year, and a big one each decade. It takes forever! It’s … unpleasant. Messy …” He grumbled softly; “humiliating.”

“Humiliating? It’s just part of having wings, isn’t it? How is that humiliating?”

“... You’ve seen my wings, what did you think of them?”

I let out a sigh, thinking. “... They’re bigger than I expected, but that makes sense since you’re not a bird. They’d have to be pretty big to lift you up … unless you’ve got hollow bones and they’re just ostentatious?” I chuckled a bit, hoping to lighten his mood, but it didn’t seem to work. “... They’re beautiful, and they look really soft … You look so majestic when you fly …”

“Exactly. … Beautiful. Majestic. That’s what they’re supposed to be … but when the molt comes they’re … really not that. … Molting is messy, and itchy, and … gross! … I look like a plucked chicken under this coat…” He whined softly, frustrated tears pricking at his eyes as he hid his face in his hands. “And the worst part is that I can’t even rush it along like we did in heaven, because I can’t reach!”

“... Can’t reach? … Do you have to pluck something, or?”

He nodded. “At the end of the molt the new feathers have these keratin sheaths that have to be removed … In heaven we’d get a few trusted angels together and circle up, but I can’t do that here! So I just have to wait for them to peel off on their own!”

I frowned softly, gently stroking his shoulder. He whined softly, looking at me hesitantly. “Lucifer, … I’m sure this is a … sensitive topic, and I’m sure there’s a reason you didn’t ask, but … if you wanted to ask, … I would help. And I promise, I wouldn’t judge you for what they look like right now, or talk to anyone else about it, or anything like that … It’s just like when you got that matt out of my fur, that was pretty embarrassing for me, but I couldn’t see it well enough to get it out myself. So you sat down with me, and you took a set of combs, and detangling spray, and a pair of scissors, and you fixed it for me. … You could have just cut it out, but you didn’t. You sat there and meticulously detangled it for hours, and then you trimmed everything so it wouldn’t get bad so easily again. Remember? … I could do the same for you.”

He nodded slowly, sighing softly. “I just … I didn’t want you to see … you don’t understand, they look really bad right now …”

“So did my neck.”

He thought for a moment, sighing before he carefully slipped the ugly beige trench coat off. His wings were pressed firmly against his back, almost trembling. He turned away, letting me get a good look at them. The majority of his flight feathers had already gone through the process, but about half of the fluffy down feathers were still encased, or partially encased, in cylindrical sheaths. I smiled softly, gently stroking down his spine. “It really doesn’t look so bad, Luci. Let’s get comfy, ok? Do you wanna lay down somewhere?”

A shiver went up his spine, and his wings attempted to puff up in response. It did look a bit sad, but I wasn’t gonna tell him that. He was feeling uncomfortable enough as it was. His wings were usually a source of great pride for him, I wasn’t about to make this harder for him. He slowly nodded, and carefully got up. I followed him to his bedroom, a little concerned by how wobbly he seemed.

“... Luc, is the molt really the only thing that’s going on? You seem a bit … off?”

He collapsed onto his bed, pulling a pillow under his chest and crossing his arms under himself. “It’s enough … The little molts take a lot of energy, but the big ones … The big ones really suck … I’ve been in bed pretty much since I left …”

I nodded, sitting next to him. “I see … so, I just start peeling these things off the feathers?”

He nodded. “Gently, please … You can roll them a bit if they resist, but if that doesn’t work move on to the next one. Most of them should be ready though.”

I hummed softly, gently taking the wing in front of me and carefully extending it. He groaned softly, following my movements compliantly. I let the wing rest on my legs and began carefully sliding my fingertips over the little cylinders. Most of the keratin sheaths started to flake and crumble away under my touch, and I carefully rolled the slightly more resistant ones between my fingers. Under my touch, fluffy down and contour feathers began to emerge. I gently brushed the debris away, careful of my claws. I knew I had to do this perfectly; to prove he could trust me with things like this. He wasn’t moving or making any noises though, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad.

I worked methodically from the bottom where his wing attached to his back, up and out to the wingtip, periodically brushing the detritus away and stroking his freshly exposed feathers. I finished the right side and got halfway through the wings on the left before I ran into one that started to peel away, but then didn’t want to budge. I was about to move on like he’d told me, but I paused when I heard the first noise Lucifer made since I started touching his wings; a high pitched whine. He squirmed uncomfortably, and his wings ruffled up a bit.

“... Luci? D- did I hurt you?”

“Noooo … I want it off …” He whimpered softly, pressing his face into the pillow. “... C- Can you scratch it a bit? Just a bit!”

I nodded, humming softly my agreement, and carefully ran a claw along the sheath. His high whine returned, but this time it seemed a bit more … pleased? I scratched again, watching little bits of the sheath peel away. After just a little bit more the sheath fell away entirely, releasing its fluffy feather, and Lucifer sighed happily. 

“Ohhh fuck~ … Oh, that’s so much better! Your hands are magic~” He moaned softly, bringing a blush to my cheeks.

I cleared my throat; “... I’m glad you’re liking it, Luc.”

I carefully continued to the tip of his wing. There were only a few that hadn’t been ready to go yet, and his wings were back to their full, shiny, fluffy glory. He sighed happily, but didn’t move to get up, so I just continued to stroke his feathers.

“Ahh~ … Puppy, that’s wonderful~ … But y- … you do know, wings are sensitive, yeah?” He slowly lifted his head, looking over his shoulder at me. The heat on his face made me squirm shyly, and I shakily removed my hands.

“S- Sorry … I …” I blushed bright red, scooting backwards. He whined softly, slowly sitting up and facing me.

He shakily reached for my hand, running his thumb over my fingers. “... I wasn’t trying to make you stop. …”

I blushed even more, looking up at him shyly. “... So … should I continue?”

He slowly lifted my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles gently. “... Only if you wish to.”

I nodded slowly, shakily pushing him to lay back down. He did, watching me out of the corner of his eye, and I straddled his hips, stroking his wings gently.

“... They’re so beautiful, Luci … You are beautiful …” I was mesmerized, letting my hands trail along the soft feathers. 

He sighed happily, settling under me. “... I cannot believe I let this go on for a full blessed month when I could have had your hands on me this whole time …”

I chuckled softly, continuing to preen him gently. “Never again, yes? You come to me for this, whenever you need it. Or even if you just want it. … You take care of me, and I take care of you.”

“Because we’re an old married couple.” He nodded, yawning softly. “Yes, love, anything wifey wants~”

I blushed brightly, trying desperately to stop the squeak from leaving my mouth. Others had called us a married couple before, mostly to tease us, but we had never said it. “... That’s right, husband. Anything I want.”

He smirked slightly. “Husband … I like the way that word sounds when you say it ... If you’re not careful, I might just make you my wife for real …”

“... And what exactly would ‘being careful’ look like?”

“Oh, you know. Not letting me touch you anymore, keeping me out of your office, making fun of my ducks. … Taking your hands off my wings would definitely count as being careful.”

I chuckled softly, steeling my nerves and leaning forward to kiss his cheek. I whispered against his ear; “sounds like a horrible way to live. I think I’ll take my chances.”

His eyes flew open, looking up at me. A bright red blush spread across his face, and a hesitant smile graced his lips. “... I agree. A horrible way to live.”

He carefully slid out from under me, turning around so I was in his lap instead, and gently cupped my cheek, rubbing gently with his thumb. I leaned into his touch, sighing happily, and he slid his hand up to stroke my fluffy wolf ear. An almost electric feeling shot through me, leaving me gasping, and I hesitantly looked up at him. He smirked slightly, pulling me closer and kissing me softly before he whispered in my ear; “Now don’t give me that look, love~ You’ve been doing it to me this whole time~”

[gabessquishytum]

Dream really do be having that previously neglected shelter dog rizz and y’all be putting him in Situations 😭. Please all I can see him doing is laying pathetically on the floor letting out occasional heaving sighs of sorrow as Hob just carefully steps over him (because Dream somehow always manages to be on the floor directly under where he’s about to step and Hob’s one more tumble away from just investing in a ceiling made of monkey bars).

So now all I can imagine is Dream post-divorce with Calliope (because let’s be real that man came out of the celestial womb divorced and mopey) who finds solace in Hob’s flat and Hob’s occasional attempts to heave him up both physically and emotionally. When Hob’s not frantically almost stepping on his dear friend and braining himself as a result, he’s just sort of resigned himself to the reality that Dream just kind of…lives on his floor now when he’s not in The Dreaming, so he’s like fuck it I’m just gonna keep going about my days. So Dream gets to watch Hob’s daily routines from a brand new perspective, maybe even catch a glimpse of Hob changing in his bedroom when he forgets (read: he did not forget) to close his door, and how he sings awfully in the shower, and loves burnt toast that’s practically char and makes Dream watch terrible human shows and movies all of a sudden Dream’s like oh no I’m in love with him

I just love the idea of Dream moping around looking like a lost dog caught out in the rain for so long that Hob just accepts him as a permanent fixture in the flat. He makes some room in the closet for all of Dream’s nonexistent clothes (he buys him some anyway), he gives him a cupboard in the kitchen and a drawer or two, he gets drunk and tells Dream about all his own failed relationships over the centuries. And when Hob finally snaps and tells Dream that he’s not unloveable and proves that to him by giving him a big sloppy drunk kiss, well Dream’s always wanted more than he’s got, and he can’t stop himself when he doesn’t let Hob pull away, hands gripping the thick meat of his upper thighs, teeth against teeth and gasping into each other’s mouths and suddenly Dream can’t even remember why he was so sad to begin with

I need you to know the phrase "shelter dog rizz" is sending me absolutely wheezing. Iconic.

And honestly? Yeah.

It takes a little while for Hob to get used to the man shaped creature who apparently now lives on the floor, but he figures that Dream has been Going Through Something for the last several thousand years so he probably deserves the opportunity to express his depressive episode in a relatively harmless way. He's still willing to talk to Hob, which is nice. Hob tells him about work and the pub and how he's in a hyperfixation over The Sims at the moment, which happens to him for a few week every year without fail. Dream sometimes talks about the goings on of his realm, and Matthew's shenanigans. A lot of the time he talks about how useless he feels and how, despite the fact that he ought not to feel fatigue at all, he's so tired.

Dream is surprisingly welcome company for Hob (who is lonely, though he would never ever dare to say that word to Dream again). Despite acting like a very strange rug, Dream is present and calming and when Hob lies down beside him on the floor, he feels absolutely peaceful.

Kissing Dream is absolutely the best drunken decision Hob has ever made (and there have been many). Dream melts against his body and the flicker of a smile starts in his eyes before finally quirking at the edge of his mouth.

Suddenly he's quite willing to spend less time on the floor... and more time in bed.

[penny00dreadful]

WIP Weekend

Okay my lovelies, I know I've been very quiet recently but that is because I have been doing the damn thing. There's something big on the horizon, just you wait.

Thank you so much to my darlings @hbyrde36 and @thisapplepielife for the tag. 😘

Rules: Make a 24-hour poll with the names of your wips and then for whichever wins, write one sentence for every vote it gets (but you should also write 1 sentence for every vote each of them gets!)

I will be posting snippets as I write so keep an eye out. 😉

Results post

Summaries under the cut:

Return of The King - Part 8/9

Vampire!Steve, need I say more? Last chapter there was an earthquake, Wayne got the cliff-notes of the Upside Down, there was a car chase van chase, feral Steve, and they approached the gate to the Upside Down.

Comeuppance

Dustin just wants Steve to be happy. So he tried to parent trap him with Nancy. Clearly they should be together. But Steve's heart doesn't even seem to be in it at all! How is he so bad at this? And Eddie is being less than helpful

Through The Valley

Post-Apocalyptic AU. Eddie, Dustin and Nancy have a nice little community of survivors outside of Hawkins that they take care of, surviving day to day. Everyone's a little broken, missing the rest of their Party just hoping that one day they'll find each other again.

Devotion

Dungeons and Dragons AU. Steve is the golden boy of the small town of Hawkins. Harrington in name and now a Paladin with his very own oath to hunt down the Bard, the witch Eddie Munson and bring him back to justice under High Priest Henry Creel.

And They Were Roommates!

Steve and Eddie don't hate each other exactly. They just... tolerate each other. But one night Eddie doesn't come how for hours. Long after he's supposed to and it's not like Steve is worried or anything... he's just... concerned for a fellow human being... that's all.

Cat and Mouse

Prequel SpyAU. Steve is a top agent, practically running circles around his adversaries. Through a truly awful attempt at pickpocketing, he meets Eddie and it's like the guy has infected his brain, he can't stop thinking about him. Can't stop wandering if maybe Eddie's in so deep Steve won't be able to dig him out.

Unnamed PStobin+RSteddie Baby AU

Steve and his husband had always wanted kids. Except apparently Albert wasn't quite so up for it as he'd previously said. Robin is just standing there, 37 weeks pregnant with Steve's IVF baby having just punched Albert in the nose and oh god why is she leaking everywhere?? Is it happening?? IT'S HAPPENING, OH JESUS!

TAXI!

Before He Cheats

One evening, Eddie gets a call from some guy named Steve dropping the news on him that his boyfriend has been cheating on him. With this Steve person and Steve had no idea up until that day.

And Eddie rarely takes that shit lying down.

Zero pressure taggy tags. @artaxlivs @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @xenon-demon @mentallyundone @spooky-stevie @spoookysix @steventhusiast @subbaculture @theheadlessphilosopher @vecnuthy @wormdebut

[spicyicetea]

Ok- obligatory apology for being absent. I did say I’d have some new chapters out before February ended but I’ve been rather sick (just found I react badly to my migraine meds and it apparently runs in the family- why did no one tell me :,) ). On a better note, I’ve been using this to finally watch Jojo’s bizarre adventure, I’m currently halfway through the stardust crusaders. So JJBA fans I see you, I understand the hype… I also understand now what you mean by most people in this show are fuckable and it scares me that I now agree so quickly. I will probably try and finish watching it over the next few weeks, but I am thoroughly enjoying it. I won’t name characters but every main character death so far has made me upset.

So here comes the question I wanted to ask- are any of my fans interested in some x reader stuff? Maybe some Yandere JJBA x reader? >:). I don’t mind whether it’s just little one shots or longer multipart stories, it’s my current hyperfixation so I’m so down. I do have an idea for a much longer story that would go through all the parts with the same Y/N (ya know some reincarnation shenanigans) where the Y/N is aware of what happens and is trying to prevent the deaths the best she can, she may or may not have some extra powers to help her out as well but shhhh. Idk would anyone be interested in that. As per usual with me it would be a yandere story (I don’t and never will endorse IRL but in fiction it heals my abandonment issues ok don’t kill me-) and the updates would happen as I watch and go along with the anime. This would basically be a harem type thing. I am going to have a poll under the read more for some of the things about the Y/N character/reincarnations, if it gets enough votes I’d start writing once the poll ends. Anyways thanks for reading my jabbering.

I think all of these ideas for Y/N and her powers would lead to a fun story. Now MINORS THIS ISN’T FOR YOU I’d hope that no minors are on my page anyways but I’ll say it here- this story would/will contain smut/sexual content and Yandere behaviour, none of which is ok for anyone under 16, so MDNI.

Also a further note, for main characters who are already in a relationship, I won’t be vilifying their other halves but just saying they never got together. For characters that need to, where they have kids that are main characters later, they either would have divorced/split up or had them through a one night stand. The characters will probably already be written somewhat out of character due to the Yandere nature of the story so I’ll try and stay as accurate as I can.

(Not spelling or grammar checked- can’t be asked sorry guys)

[thatbanditqueen]

i’m obsessed w all ur fics but i gotta ask…

are u planning on midge and ep making up some way in the next chapter or are u thinking ab dragging it out? (also wanted to let u know i reread the only sure thing probably once a week lmaooo)

So I'm writing chapter 8 right now and...... they are going to be colliding into each other at the end. Followed by three very very very smutty chapters. This and the last chapter where they are not together have been the HARDEST for me to write because I have the smut headcanons for the next chapters rebounding around in my mind grapes and I just want to get there already and I want the build up to be good but I have discovered this about myself as a writer. I'm not great at slow burn or storylines that don't lead to somewhat immediate smut..... lol.... maybe I'm off, but my favorite chapters of Only Sure Thing are 2 through 6..... I did like writing the scene in 7 where Elvis walks in on Midge writing fake fan letters for the Colonel.... but some of that chapter felt flat trying to accomplish more exposition and where i see them going... idk i am an aggressively hard on myself person, but i guess I think my favorite thing to write is pre-smut verbal foreplay which is hard to do if characters are broken up... so, this was a really long way to answer your question. The short answer is yes, and I'm sorry because I'm still learning how to write stories but I see ch 9 and 10 being.... um.... fun....

Once a week? My love.... im so fucking honored to hear you say that because I am really fond of these characters and I reread it everytime I write a new chapter, but I also want to rewrite it, especially some of the clunky paragraphs early on where I feel like I was over explaining Elvis' bio.... I might one day....

This is something I'm struggling with so I'm curious to know what you think... I don't want them to make up totally until March 1961 bc Elvis is going to convince Midge to go to Hawaii with him and he's leaving like the day after they reunite. But I also don't think it's realistic that he wouldn't try to see her every chance he can and try to wear her resolve down... I'm having him bombard her with telegrams and phone calls, and sort of explaining how he's off filming two movies and doing benefits and events in Nashville and Memphis as the reason he doesn't see her for six months... but I feel like I need to write ONE "look let me prove I can be just friends" scene from Midge's pov, where E shows up at her place unexpectedly because he's super impulsive and hyperfixated..... and he wants to use any excuse to get her alone and bring her back to his house ... uh... ok apparently this post became part of my writing process...

Thanks for reading and supporting my own hyperfixation. Im always down to chat about them. I really hope the fan community doesn't dissolve bf I finish these stories....I know I'm moving at a snail's pace..

xoxo

norAHHHH

The Only Sure Thing forthcoming in the next few days Ch 8 vibes...

[anwynb2003]

Alright, Good Omens Fic Idea - SPOILERS -

Because Apparently I’m Still Hyperfixated - SPOILERS -

*I was halfway done this post and accepted deleted the draft- please share in my pain I’m so upset I have to rewrite all this ;-;*

So:

Aziraphale’s up in heaven. It’s been maybe a few weeks since the S2 finale, and things are just about ready for the Second Coming.

Using the small amount of input he could give as the Supreme Archangel, our boy pointed out the moral quandaries of impregnating a teenager without giving them a say in the matter, and so heaven’s taking a page out of Hell’s book and just creating the baby themselves to be sent down to Earth (and just adopted regularly, none of that baby-swapping wickedness).

Aziraphale knows every moment of this child’s life off by heart; he’s read the plans dozens of times, you see. The second Christ will meet an end very similar to that of their first incarnation, though even sooner. A legal murder, though one that feels like it shouldn’t be.

He’s tried to find a way around it, pitched dozens of alternatives to killing the child, but has now realized that even as Supreme Archangel, his power is extremely limited.

So, he calls up the one angel that he feels is best for the job he needs done, and their conversation goes as such:

Aziraphale: Do you trust me?

Muriel: Of course, sir!

Aziraphale: Good, take this baby and this letter to this address, and then stay inside because heaven will definitely deem you a traitor for this, but don’t worry I have a plan.

Muriel: …okay.

And so, Muriel takes the new baby Christ down to Earth, and straight to Crowley’s flat.

Dude obviously asks wtf is going on when the sweet little angel who’d taken over his angel’s bookshop showed up at his door with a baby, and Muriel hands him the letter, which consists of just three sentences:

I’m sorry. Keep them both safe, please. From everyone.

Crowley groans, long and loud, but hurries Muriel and the baby inside; there are three things Crowley has a soft spot for, and those are his car, his angel, and kids. He may have been furious with the second one at the moment, but that wasn’t any of the others’ faults (and yes, he was aware that Muriel wasn’t too much younger than himself, but darn it they acted like a kid sometimes and it was endearing, dammit!)

He asks Muriel to further explain what’s happening, as the note was no help, but all they can tell him is who the baby is.

Crowley glances at the baby boy in the basket and gets a horrible sense of deja vu.

Why are the occult/ethereal babies always his problem to deal with?

Time Skip- 11 Years Later

Aziraphale hesitates outside the door of Crowley’s flat, but does eventually end up knocking.

He hears his old friend calling something about “Maggie, this is a bad time-” as he answers the door, but when he sees who was knocking he stops dead.

Aziraphale gives an awkward hello, and Crowley sighs, inviting him in. Their conversation goes as such:

Crowley: It can’t be time already.

Aziraphale: It’s not! Not yet, anyway, and hopefully the time will never come, I just… wanted to check in.

Crowley: Right. Check in.

Aziraphale: Yes, so where is he?

Before Crowley can answer, they both hear the door to the flat open and shut. “Dad? I’m back!”

Crowley sighs, almost looking reluctant to reply as he can feel the angel staring at him in surprise, but he does anyway: “In the kitchen!”

A moment later, a young girl appears in the kitchen as well, clutching a book in her hands that Aziraphale recognizes as one of his.

The girl eyes him almost warily, but Crowley grabs her attention. “‘S that another book?”

The girl nods sheepishly. “Aunty Muriel thought I’d like this one.”

“You say that every time,” He almost chuckles, before waving her off. “Off you pop, get started on it, we’re eating out with Maggie and Nina tonight.”

The girl seems to immediately perk up at that and, giving Aziraphale one more searching stare, turns and leaves the kitchen, heading off to start reading her book.

Crowley now acknowledges Aziraphale’s shock:

Crowley: What, being a girl not a part of your side’s plans for her?

Aziraphale: Oh no, they were, it was just supposed to be in a few more years.

Crowley: *shrugs* You said protect her from everyone, that includes herself. Why do you look so shocked, then?

Aziraphale: She called you “Dad”. And “Aunty Muriel”?

Crowley: Give me a baby and a disgraced angel and no instructions beyond “protect them”, what were you expecting?

Aziraphale cannot answer this.

So, yeah, that’s the entire narrative I have, beyond a realization later on that when Jay (the name Christ picked for herself at the age of seven) was little, her Dad told her stories about the adventures he and “his angel” had been on, and Jay’s realization that the stranger in their kitchen was her Dad’s angel.

Idk, I just find it cute. They’ll act like divorced Dads who clearly still care about each other and want this arrangement to work, but are also both deeply hurt by whatever the other did to end it, until they actually talk to each other and make up, all while trying to avoid the Messiah role heaven wants to force on Jay.

(Also the reason heaven made Jay trans was that so she’s experience some of the worst parts of humanity- she was supposed to be sent to/adopted in Florida -and still be completely willing to die for them)

The end, Ima sleep now, I’m only 50% awake as is

[quitepossiblybamboozled]

So, I’ve been SUPER hyperfixated on Night at the Museum lately, and as a result I have watched every film multiple times in the last two or three weeks except for the last one bc it’s really bad.  This was going to be a post about how shitty Night at the Museum: Kahmunrah Rises Again really is, but I got carried away with my analysis of the first film, so I’ll have to come back to it later and talk about how perfect Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb was to bookend the original trilogy and how well it shows the growth of Larry and Nick, but for now have this analysis of the original Night at the Museum.

The first film, Night at the Museum is a really nice opening film for the franchise, and even a great standalone!  The film starts with an uncertain Larry Daley, unemployed and on the verge of another eviction (This is implied when his ex-wife, Erica, asks, “You didn’t get evicted again, did you?” and Larry responds, “I didnt...get evicted.  I didn’t get evicted, no.  I mean, I didn’t...  No, I didn’t get evicted, yet.”), whose ten-year-old son, Nick, is so used to his father’s instability that he’s already making his own backup plan.  Following his peewee hockey game, he tells Larry that he wants to be a bond trader because that’s what Erica’s fiance, Don, does.  When Larry protests with, “But you love hockey!” Nick replies, “Yeah, but bond trading is my fallback.”

to Nick, Don is stable.  Don is safe.  What Don does makes his mom happy.  Larry is always on the verge of some sort of collapse, and he sees his mom stress about it every single day.  Nick loves his father very, very much, but he’s getting to an age where some things are starting to click for him.  It’s not normal to have to move every few months.  It’s not normal for his dad to have a different career every time he sees him.  It’s not normal for him to be constantly worried about whether or not his dad will have a job tomorrow.

Nick is a very realistic depiction of a ten-year-old boy, in my opinion, and I think his actor did an amazing job portraying the emotions the script calls for.  We only see Nick laugh in the movie one time, and it’s when Larry is teasing him about becoming a bond trading robot.  This is immediately juxtaposed by Nick telling Larry that Don is stable, that bond trading is his backup plan, that he is making a Plan B before he’s even had time to think about Plan A.  Larry asks Nick where he even heard the term “fallback” and Nick reveals that it came from his mother, who has apparently vented enough about Larry’s, quote, “crazy schemes,” that it has stuck as something important in Nick’s mind.

This seems to be the kick in the pants that Larry really really needed to find and stick with a job: the fact that his ten-year-old is stressed about his own future to the point of pre-planning for failure of a dream he hasn’t even cemented yet.  It clicks for Larry that, because he has put so much into chasing his dreams, his own son thinks that dreaming is essentially a waste of time.

We see instances of this sort of reoccuring to Larry throughout the film each time he goes to quit.  He has the most insane, unstable job he could possibly have, but it is still more sane and stable than what he has now.  Because what he has now is nothing.  What he has now is a failed attempt at cheating a parking meter and a boot on his car.  What he has now is a son who is so embarrassed by him that he won’t even tell him about Parent Career Day.  What he has now is an ex-wife who is also his best friend who cannot, in good conscience, let him take his own son for the night.  What he has now is a kid who is trying to be an adult when he should be focusing on doing literally whatever he wants.

The first time Larry tries to quit, he runs into Nick and Don as he’s exiting the building, and seeing his son with such a stable father figure makes him turn around and try again.  It makes him beg Dr. McPhee for a second chance.  It gives him new resolve to try and do this right this time.

The second time, when Dr. McPhee fires him, it’s that same desire for stability that drives him to fight for one more chance at this job.  It’s seeing Nick not believe him about getting his job back that makes him the most eager to prove himself.  Hell--he even tries to prove himself to Rebecca that night!  When nothing comes to life at dusk, Nick once again assumes his father is just..unstable.  And Larry is desperate to disprove that.  Nick takes off, and when Larry asks where he’s going, he insists that he’s going home.  His trust in his father has been betrayed for the last time.

And then they run into the old Night Guards, and Larry pleads with Nick to believe him one more time.  To just turn the middle piece of the tablet, and the whole museum will come to life, and he’ll be just that much less insane in the eyes of his own child.  And Nick does.  And it works! and they have a wild adventure of a night!  And Larry saves the day!  And he doesn’t lose his job!  And everything works out!

And then, at the end of the film, we have a Larry who, in all his instability, manages to balance the impossible task of getting an entire museum to live together in harmony.  We have a Nick who can let loose, who can allow himself to ride on the back of a T-Rex, and who can be proud enough of his father to bring him to Career Day, and whose belief in the dreams and magic of the world has been restored because his father refused to let them die.  And when Larry asks if Nick is ready to go home, he says a casual, smiley, “Nope.”

[cleric4vampire]

hey y'all! I desperately need more people to follow so I'm sending this little soldier of a post into the tags

the vast majority of my blog is centered around dragon age! thedas is my hyperfixation <3 I eat alistair for breakfast lunch and dinner. also enjoy snacking on solas, fenris, and anders. (clearly I have a thing for troubled men.) also morrigan. I like reblogging posts from others (& occasionally make my own) that center on character + narrative analyses, headcanons, talking about OCs, etc. I run my mouth in the tags. sometimes I make art. perhaps one day I will get over myself and share some writing.

bioware critical, occasionally fandom critical. but fret not, we get silly & hor knee on here too. a lot. ... most of the time actually.

every now and then you will see other games on here, like mass effect, skyrim/tes, the witcher, the arcana, & apparently some touchstarved because that's my new obsession of the week

something I'd really like to stress -> I'm unabashedly character positive. yes, even for the villains. (especially for the villains.) on occasion I might say I want to punch xyz character in the face but it's all affectionate I promise. <3 I am a full believer in being able to love & find comfort in a character that is complicated, immoral, poorly written, etc. because that is the beauty of fiction and story-making. I will still reblog posts that might sound character-critical (and the OP may have intended it to be that way); I enjoy other peoples opinions even if I may not fully agree with them. my personal view is that character-critical can often translate to writer-critical because... again... fiction. if you want "#xyz critical" tagged just let me know! (same goes for CWs)

uhh what else. I usually have a shit ton of posts queued (at least 5-10 a day + whenever I post or reblog when I actually hop on here, which is pretty regularly). I am an Adult so minors proceed with caution.

ANYWAY if you can vibe with all of the above/ are interested in some of the same things, let's be mutuals & be weird and unhinged together

[thehyperfixationspeedrunner]

NAME CHANGED: wisegirl06 -> the hyperfixationspeedrunner

Header by @evafoxz

Hii 👋

Just here to say what I ramble about and how often because things here are... chaotic to say the least

So, here's the list:

Taylor swift (igndnrktkgkfnsnrngfnfke <- cannot describe my love for this album another way)

Epic: the musical (it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week it's this week )

911 (current big hyperfixation)

The folk of the air (I NEED MORE OF THESE, A TRILOGY, A NOVEL AND A DUOLOGY ARE NOT ENOUGH)

Star wars (hyperfixation dies then comes back every time something is released, so currently obsessed with the bad batch and can't wait for high republic)

Percy Jackson (as soon as there are any news on season 2 I am going insane but right now things are quiet)

Marvel (not big on it right now but this bitch likes to come at the most random times)

Six of crows (another one that from time to time likes to come around and take over my life)

Heartstopper (will go batshit crazy the closer we get to season 3)

Fourth wing (recent hyperfixation, will come back when iron flame gets out in my country)

Five survive (absolutely love, deserves more attention)

The lunar chronicles (just read the first book, will ramble about it once I finish the collection please don't spoil it)

Renegades (still missing supernova, but oh my god this series, wanting to finish the last book to go batshit crazy)

Good omens (on the end of first season right now, looks like a future hyperfixation)

agggtm (love it so much, can't wait for the show gkejrnt)

The hunger games (not something that I ramble a lot about but love it so much)

Stranger things (kinda dead, maybe will come back when the last season drops, maybe not)

Eragon (don't have a passion for it, but there's gonna be a series, apparently so I'm excited for that)

Harry Potter (also kinda dead, hold dear in my heart but his time has passed (also, before anyone says anything, fuck J. K. Rowling))

That's it for now, will try to update, but I can't promise anything, bestie has ADHD and can't keep things updated

[needsmorewlw]

*~Non-fetishistic mlm!Dylan headcanons~*🥰😇

I am being so pass agg rn

He worked out he was gay when he was like 10 after watching Teen Wolf.

He abides by the "Coming out to people by mentioning it casually in conversation" rule of homosexuality, to see who he catches off guard.

He still has girls who ask him out because he's tall and funny and listens to them when they speak.

He's surprised how often he has to tell these girls that he's gay because to him it's very obvious but apparently not to them.

He's had one real boyfriend but he was kinda toxic and just liked Dylan because he's tall.

Dylan has some hang ups over his one real relationship not ending well and has some lingering nervousness about starting a new one.

Doesn't stop him from being forward when he likes someone though.

Dylan flirts as a joke and then when it works he has no idea how to continue.

The personification of the "I dunno, I didn't think I'd get this far." meme.

He doesn't know where the joke flirting ends and the real flirting begins either.

If Dylan really cares about someone, he will go above and beyond for them (friends, dates and family). More than once it hasn't been reciprocated and his kindness got taken advantage of. Hence his fear of rejection.

His relationship with his parents is...fine. I can't help but feel like he has a parent who tells their friends that "he just hasn't met the right girl yet."

Designated class clown. "Please like me or I WILL take it personally."

No emotion has gone unrepressed for nineteen years.

Fake-it-till-you-make-it is his totally healthy coping mechanism. Pretend to be happy until the depression goes away. No he doesn't need therapy xx (sarcasm)

He rarely cries and only in private. Absolutely never in front of anyone unless you happen to catch him on a bad day.

He doesn't have anxiety and he's never had a panic attack. He sometimes disassociates after a failed social interaction where he accidentally offended/hurt someone.

He's not brave but he is self sacrificial. If someones gotta get hurt, it's gonna be him.

Dylan's the kind of friend who will hang out with you every single day for a week and then you won't see him or speak to him for three months.

Probably because he hyperfixated on a new hobby so hard he forgot he was a living human who needed to socialise.

He took piano lessons when he was a kid and taught himself guitar when we got older so he could play Wonderwall.

He builds PC's for his friends.

He cannot cook even if he had a gun to his head. Eggs on rice is about all he can manage.

He loves all things horror but never actually believed in it. Now he believes in it more and loves it a little less.

He doesn't go around proclaiming that he's gay but he's also not ashamed of it. If he's comfortable around you he'll make some jokes or euphemisms.

Simultaneously ^ He's real annoying when he has a boyfriend. He will talk about him all the time and you will get sick of it.

His lanky arms were made for cuddling. He is a snuggle machine. Pop your head on his chest babygirl, tell him all about your shitty ex.

Despite everything, he has a genuine optimistic view on life. He has a secret little five year plan that involves him moving out, graduating college and getting hired at NASA as an astrophysicist.

He spends more time curating his Spotify playlists than he does breathing.

He definitely gave his cat a full first, middle and last name.

[ordinarytalk]

So I'm just finally beginning to recover from the three day paranormal weekend event thing I helped run, and I'm just writing highlights so I can reassure myself that yes, this all actually happened:

I just barely got trained in running the historical tours in time for this event. Meaning, I spent the entire week prior cramming the history of the site with more intensity than I crammed for my college finals. The tours had to be about an hour and fifteen minutes, I would be doing them all day, and I had to be prepared for questions.

Part of my cramming involved me typing out five pages of notes outlining my planned tour path, the buildings I was stopping at, and what historical highlights I was planning to talk about at each building. Because I was teaching swimming lessons until 7 or 8pm most weeknights, I didn't have time to meet with the operations manager who was helping train me, so I just sent the document to her so she could fact-check it.

The night before the event was a ghost hunt/celebrity mixer for VIP guests. They oversold the VIP tickets so we had way way more guests than was originally planned for. The operations manager was told at the last minute that they needed seven history tours to be run simultaneously that night because the guests had been promised history tours, and the tours needed to all be done at around the same time. We had two history guides, me and another guy.

The ops manager ended up printing out my notes and handing them out to other employees and saying "just improvise, sorry, and thank you." We pulled it off flawlessly.

After the tours, I was supposed to be giving the paranormal guide staff members their breaks throughout the night. I got yanked to be a celebrity handler instead because we were short on people. I did not want to be a celebrity handler. I am very awkward around new people at the best of times, and I don't know anything about celebrities.

Celebrity and her crew turned out to be super friendly. I still felt awkward as hell, but then they started asking me about history and that unlocked my hyperfixation powers and I started getting excited and rambling cool facts about every room we walked into. Eventually I realized they were filming me. Success?

The paranormal investigations during the whole weekend were like the least successful/least active ones I have ever seen here. I think if I was dead and several hundred people were stomping all over my house and trying to talk to me, I'd shut up and go somewhere else too.

Ended 3am. Woke up 8am. Dying.

Me and the other history guide alternated giving tours all day Saturday. Apparently I did good? Some people cried and one group applauded me.

So sleep deprived I straight up passed out in the grass for ten minutes after two of my tours.

Can a person die from hydrating solely with Monster energy drinks, asking for a friend

Monster energy drinks did nothing, started laughing loudly at nothing at one point and then took another lawn nap when coworkers started looking at me

Another VIP mixer/history tour/ghost hunt that night!

The celebrity & crew from last night specifically requested me to lead them around for the ghost hunt tonight because they liked me? Success???

We were still very short on people and we really needed me to do breaks so I only was supposed to be with the celeb team for 30 minutes but it got stretched to 45 because they asked me about history again, whoops

I am still being filmed. I am still not sure what I am being filmed for. Success???????

Had to do all the breaks speedwalking, while being rained on. The last person was almost dying by the time I got to them. I almost pass out again as soon as I sit down in their chair, I've been standing almost all day aside from the lawn naps.

Destination Fear left snack and drink shrapnel everywhere at where their meet & greet table had been. Someone there really likes cheez-its.

2am bedtime. Feet are looking a little swollen and gnarly and I'm walking like a chicken on hot coals.

Sunday! Everyone on crew looks like the walking dead.

I actually had a little over an hour free before the history tours start and I was able to look at vendors! I bought a dracula pin and a movie monster crop top that doesn't fit.

More history tours. We're getting more sunshine today so I ask to borrow one of the hats from merch because I will get a migraine if direct sunlight hits the top of my head for more than two minutes.

Smaller tour groups, everyone's a little more tired.

One of the other employees tells me how she had to babysit the Destination Fear crew when they filmed here. Apparently they kept on trying to go places they weren't supposed to.

The Destination Fear meet and greet line from yesterday is still there, and it's still terrifying.

The guys from Mountain Monsters are like the best guys ever. They are never not having a good time. They're like if my Uncle Gerry and Uncle Rance decided to make a cryptid-hunting show together. At one point, during the other guide's history tour, one of 'em suddenly busted out of a nearby porta potty yelling "WHOO-EE! I tore that porta john UP!!" and everybody on the tour just lost their shit. I might need to watch their show now.

Everything shut down by 5pm, but I stayed until 7pm to help with teardown. I offered to buy the hat from merch I'd been wearing but was told I could just keep it, so I got a hat now.

If there's one thing this incredibly busy week was successful at doing, it was stopping me from thinking about my birthday, because I keep thinking about all the stuff I was supposed to have done by this age, and all the stuff I'll never get to do or have because it's too late, and crying.

My birthday literally just happened as I was typing this. Still trying not to think about it.

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars and Rebels

I mentioned this in my previous post and have been meaning to write about it in more detail.

I've never actually watched The Clone Wars or Rebels.

Not intentionally, it just sort of never happened. TCW was first released during a weird and rough part of my life where a lot of other things were going on and for many reasons past me was focused on other things. I'm not entirely sure where, or even if, I would've been able to watch TCW when it first came out. I think it might've been picked up by one of the TV channels but I'm not sure and I don't think streaming was a big thing yet back in 2008. I'm also pretty sure both TCW and Rebels would've been marketed as "animated kids TV shows' so I'm guessing past me just took it at read that it wasn't a show aimed at me. Ooh, how wrong I was. (I've got more thoughts about the whole "kids show" thing but that's for another time.)

Even though I've never watched TCW or Rebels, I still know the general gist of what happens. It's a bit hard to not be spoiled for a show that premiered 15 years ago. Plus, I have a frustrating tendency to spoil things for myself in my need to understand and find out everything about a particular topic if my brain latches onto it (dammit ADHD brain). So I know who Rex and Cody and Ashoka all are and I know how TCW ends and what happens at the end of Rebels. But I have no emotional connection to all these characters and stories, which is what I'm sad about the most.

Every time Rex or Cody appear or are even just briefly mentioned in The Bad Batch, people go absolutely completely and utterly bonkers. I can clearly see that they, and many others, are beloved characters and I'm sad that I'm not a part of that. That I missed out on desperately waiting for each new episode each week, devouring it when it aired and then excitedly screaming into the internet void about whatever just transpired. That I missed out on growing to love these characters and following their stories. That I missed out on experiencing all of this when it happened and am continuing to miss out on experiencing this as it continues in The Bad Batch.

A really good example of this is Echo. People seem to go absolutely postal about him but I'm just sitting here going "yeah I like the guy but why the reaction?" Of course, I now know why. I read about what happened to him but I never experienced or watched it. And I miss that. This is not to say that I don't like Echo. I absolutely do. Echo girlies please do not come for me. Tbh I think I may end up turning into an Echo girlie, especially after his very commanding voice, leadership and general badassery at the start of 'Tipping Point'.

Another example is when Zeb very briefly appeared in the most recent episode of The Mandalorian. People lost their absolute minds and I'm sitting here going, "who?". As I'm apparently incapable of not spoiling myself, I've since read up about Zeb, and then found out about Kallus and oh no, I just know this is a ship I'm going to fall into and be obsessed with. Good luck future me. Fare thee well. Enjoy it while it lasts.

So having never watched these beloved shows, it means I'm missing out on so much of the fandom reactions, relationships, emotions and how much these characters and their stories mean to everyone. And I don't want that to be the case. I want to know Rex and Cody and Ashoka and the 501st and the 212th and Jesse and Fives and Hera and Kanan and Zeb and Kallus and everyone else that I can't list because I'm trying to not spoil myself too much.

TCW and Rebels have been on my To Watch list for a while and recently, I was finally able to start watching The Clone Wars. I'm still only on Season 1 and was up to episode 18 'Mystery of a Thousand Moons' before I a) became hyperfixated on The Bad Batch and b) decided to pause watching TCW so I could come back to the series later on and properly enjoy watching it. And I am enjoying what I've watched so far! I've already got plenty of thoughts so I think I'll put those all together in another post before I dive back into watching TCW and then Rebels after that.

Because that's what I want to do with both of these beloved series. I'm watching them for the first time and I really want to savour and enjoy it. I'm going to be watching The Clone Wars and Rebels for the first time. I'm never going to get that experience ever again. I could just binge them all in one massive sitting but I don't think that would do the shows justice or be as enjoyable. I can't wait until each new episode is released each week like they were when they were initially released but I can enjoy them in my own way.

Which is why I want to turn my first watch through of these shows into my own little project. Something purely for me, for my experience and for me to enjoy and look forward to. I don't have much, if anything, left to enjoy or look forward to anymore so I'm going to grasp on to what little I can. And in this case, its watching The Clone Wars and Rebels for the first time.

I had planned on jumping straight back into it after The Bad Batch Season 2 finale but I think I'm going to need a while now to deal with and try to process everything that happened in that. But when the time is right, hopefully sometime SoonTM, I'll get back into watching The Clone Wars. My plan is to watch an episode and then write a reaction post with my thoughts/opinions/theories/general screeching about said episode. Once I've finished, I'll have this archive, a collection of posts and writing that capture the first time I watched The Clone Wars and Rebels.

I'm getting all happy and teary just thinking about it.

Given the large gap between season 1 and 2 of The Bad Batch, I'm hoping to be able to finish watching TCW and Rebels before the (hopeful) premiere of season 3 of The Bad Batch (please let there be a season 3, there's got to be a season 3, please). It'll also help the references that appear in other Star Wars shows actually mean something to me. I'm really going to need to have finished watching TCW and Rebels before watching Ashoka otherwise it just won't mean as much to me, and I don't want to miss out on that either.

I can't imagine there are many people left in the fandom that have yet to watch The Clone Wars and Rebels. While it does mean that I've missed out on so much, I'm also excited about it. I'm fully aware that there are going to be rough episodes (2008 animation is, well, dated) and that my emotions are going to be destroyed by Filoni et al. but I'm also really looking forward to it. To meeting all the clones and other characters and getting to know them. To learning their stories and going on adventures with them.

I get to watch The Clone Wars and Rebels for the first time. And I'm really looking forward to it. It's given me something to look forward to for the first time in a very long time.

[autogynocrat]

Autism anon from earlier, here are the supposed tells/abnormalities I have:

- eating food one at a time, rather than sampling a bit of everything. Say I have a plate with e.g. steak, rice, and carrots on it. I will eat ALL the rice, then ALL the carrots, then ALL the steak. I always figured this was normal, but apparently it’s a tell in kids

- I like making feelings “even” on both side. Like, let’s say I’m walking through a door and I brush my right hand on the doorframe. I’ll immediately touch my left hand to the doorway, or I won’t quite feel right.

- lists. Fucking lists. Excel spreadsheets. I make so many lists and spreadsheets and charts and I don’t even know what I’m doing with all this data. Collating things. Like I made this playlist once of just covers of this old song, and the playlist is eight hours and twenty eight minutes long, and I individually organized the songs by year. I didn’t do it all at once of course, it was a little at a time

- tendency to overexplain if I’m telling a story, even if I know the other person knows the info I’m telling. My sister pointed this out to me, that I do this. Let’s say I were to tell a story about work, I might lead into it with “so we get paychecks, right? Because that’s why we have jobs. Every couple weeks, we get these checks that have a momentary amount, as compensation for the work we did. If you work more hours, you get more money…” etc.

- tendency towards repetitive, compulsive behaviors. I once went a year only listening to one (1) album. While I like movies, I rarely watch new ones, I just rewatch the same few movies over and over again. Some movies, I nearly have memorized as a consequence. I once frequented a specific sushi restaurant so many times that I decided to stop going because I felt self-conscious, but I went back after a week and the lady behind the counter went “you wanted more sushi!” as soon as she saw me walk in. I’m very into ritual, like I’ll eat the same thing every day for a while. Or like, I’ve tried getting into anime, but I just rewatch the same anime instead of watching new ones. Regarding compulsive behaviors, there will be things where I’m like “I need to stop doing this because it’s bad/wastes time/is evil/whatever” and will still feel compelled to do it like some phantom hand is guiding me on a chessboard

- I cannot fucking talk to people. I have no idea how to fucking socialize. I cannot understand fucking social cues. I have sat in awkward silence with so many people so many fucking times, I’ve said the wrong thing so many fucking times

- I unintentionally verbalize my thoughts and talk to myself. It’s very fucking hard to just shut my mouth and keep it shut. Usually it’s a light whisper, if I’m alone I just talk. Or I’ll mouth words, like if I’m thinking or typing. I’m mouthing this right now

- I memorize a lot of trivial facts and will regurgitate them onto people. I guess that’s kinda infodumping? I don’t know, I wouldn’t call them hyperfixations though. I just read wikipedia a lot

You mentioned doing weird repetitive things with my hands, what kind of things? I do repetitive things with my hands too. I can describe it as like, I’ll press down each finger individually one after another with my thumb, then I make a fist with my thumb inside and squeeze and it cracks my fingers, then I do it with the other hand. I click my ankles too, over and over

I don’t know, you be the judge. Surely this isn’t normal at least. I’d say most of these I thought were normal, or at least were acceptable social quirks and not signs of anything greater

when i eat the sausage egg mcgriddle at mcdonalds i take it apart and eat each piece individually with a fork and knife. i dont do this with every food but some foods are too much things at one if you dont take them apart. for curry i dont eat the rice and curry seperate i need an equal amount if curry and rice on the fork with every bite otherwise its wrong. if i have an uneven amount of sauce and other food when i finish any food it really annoy me. the iced Machiato at mcdonalds i dont like it when they stir it ib prefer to drink the caramel milk layer and the espresso layer as separate layers.

making things even i relate to this i like to arrange all the square groceries in the comveyer belt so they're perfectly packed it is literally so fun when they're aligned perfectly edge to edge

im too disorganized to makelists but i love looking at them. also wikis. wikis are my favorite media format sometimes. spreadsheets can be so beautiful but i think well indented code looks cuter and more beautiful especially in an ide with colors

i dont think i over explain things unless its something im really into

i only listen to the same music over and over and over again until i get tired of it which is usually never. i already like my music why do i need more? mili is my favorite artist btw i like them bc they make cute songs and happy songs and sad songs and the themes in the songs are cool and i like momocashews voice. i repeat certain phrases alot for no real reason other than it feels good like i say "oh no how could this happen to me" alot in a silly voice i just like how it feels in my throat. i dont feel like im guided or controlled i wish i was controlled it would be easier for me. i do however feel like an npc in a bad videogame or simulation or something. ive kinda accepted that my job is a simulation tough and i pretend im an npc with no agency i just say my pre programmed lines and focus on being a good and efficient npc its like a videogame to me and it makes the day go by easier.

i cant talk to people either they have to talk to me first most of the time or i feel like i dont have permission to enter their social circle. also i usually dont know what to say an im afraid of people thinking im weirrd

i verbalize or post almost all my thoughts i usually talk to myself more when people arent around but i still do it when people are around too. if you ever see me making lots of small text posts im probably stream of consciousness posting im basically doing the digital version of vwrbakizing every thought that goes thru my head

i dont know if anything i said makes sense sorry for the long post

[havethetouch]

Life Update

Dere! I am still around guess what :) I just took a bit of a longer break again from the web and stuff because honestly stuff got a bit much and there was so much other stuff that needed my attention and time. Not looking forward to clear my inboxes across all my accounts again but eh, it is what it is. Prolly gonna filter out the important stuff and reply to what I need to and just delete the rest for a clean start.

But hey, all that stuff that kept me busy and mostly offline was the good stuff. I had my mother over at my place almost every weekend for a month now to help me out with some of that stuff and it really imporved so much about my situation and my livin space and a lot of other stuff across the board like literally anytime my mother came over I would be weeping at the end of the day in joy and relief. So yah, lotsa improvements going on that would've taken me a lot longer by myself. Love my mom.

There was a bit of an issue with the water supply, it got tainted and I got a little sick from that but thankfully I am young and my immune system is a beast so I was a lot less affected from that than other members in the community. Still sucked though. For a couple of days I was hauling water rations around to the elderly folks in my neighbourhood who were unable to get it on their own. It was a whole thing. It also lead me into the house of my vis a vis neighbour who sometimes talks down from her balcony with me and used to talk a lot to my grandmother and my father as well when they were still around. Let me tell you this woman is a master crocheter - everything in her flat is basically crochet. Wall decorations, seat covers, couch throws, pillows, there was a computer chair decked out in crochet sleeves... lotsa nicknacks hell, every flower in all the vases I could see were crocheted. I was surprised to find items that were not decked out or complety made oud of thread tbh. That visit was like.. a revelation bc ages ago, maybe two or three years ago, there was this image going around of a rainbow hue shift blanket with a pattern included to crochet that yourself. And i was like... man, wish I could remember how to crochet I would love to do this. Which also lead to me two or so weeks ago walking up to my aunt and asking her if she by chance has knitting needles and wool and if she could teach me knitting. Long story short I can knit now I have a huge bulky scarf in the works and because I wanted some fexibility on what I work on I started a second project last Monday (I can either hyperfixate start to finish or I need at least two wips in any given craft so I can switch back an forth) and now I have a triangle shawl that I just finished this morning. Very lovely. I also bought a shitton of wool which raised some eyebrows with my aunt and both my mom because they assumed I would not somehow get really really into it? Well. Jokes on them. I am already planning arm and legwarmers, maybe a sweater. Lotsa shawls. It is very realxing for me and my hands really could do with a new craft that forces me to not grip stuff too hard and get into more fluid and flowy movements while creating. I am also really fast at this stuff apparently according my fam so like... yay knitting :) Which is also a reason why my absence from the web got extended. New hyperfixation on new hobby unlocket it is getting colder outside and I get urges to make myself warm comfy shit. I also have some sensory issues with some fabrics so being able to make my own shit is hella nice especially since I found the softest whatever bulky thread that feels like those soft cheaps synthetic fluffy blankets and I love that shit and that is the material of the scarf I am working on and that is also what imma make the arms and legwarmers out of and yeah idk if you can tell how excited this stuff makes me because it does and I am already thinking about if and where to get a huge loom from maybe next year because I did weaving once as teenager and mhhhhhh I kinda wanna do something. (The knitting stuff also basically started with I want a thing imma make it myself how I want it.)

So.. yeah. Ah and in between I was also in Venice in September I can't remember if I mentioned that but I had a short trip up there and it was a blast and very inspiring. All in all life's been going up n up and as the seasons shift again I feel at ease and peaceful with everything going on. I also finally got my old landlord to fork over the security deposit so that's another loose end tied neatly and I do not have to go to his workplace to have a talk after all :) I still have a couple of things to do before winter hits because this will be my first winter out here (remember I moved in around March this year so it was still cold but it was more the tailend of winter in my area so yah that will be interesting. But I got my self made teas, I bought all I need to operate my fireplace and heat the house already in Summer and oh. I am finally financially stable again. Like fully stable. And bruh that is... a huge weight off my back (and also the reason why I was able to buy lotsa wool lets be real.) But yeah.. yeah only good stuff around on my end. All is well. And I feel great.

[beck-a-leck]

WIP Wednesday!

Yeah okay I'm ready to start talking in detail about my Hyperfixation Fic after working on it for like .... 8 weeks now.

I am apparently a creature of habit, and when certain things happen in my life I guess I just write certain fics. One being when people I know have a baby I guess I gotta write baby fic. The other being when I start a new job I guess I write a whole Rule 63 AU of something. And this summer I had a combination of both of those things happen, so I guess this fic sprang from it. (And I've also been doing a close read of Tolkein stuff, so the world was fresh on my mind.) But now I'm like 80k into a fic for a fandom I don't even go to but I guess I'm here now. So...

But that's all the moderately unnecessary context dump for what the hap is fuckening in this little snippet.

Anyways, we got some Fem!Bilbo who brought an unexpected passenger with her on the journey to the Lonely Mountain, and everything still sucks in Mirkwood, but with extra guilt!

Even without having to feed Bombur, as he slept endlessly for days and days, there still was not enough food for anyone to feel good about it. The day after the enchanted stream, when they stopped for their one meal, it was announced that to help stretch their food a little farther, some would have to go without anything. They would take turns, and work through every man in the party to keep things fair. Bilbo had tried to insist that she be included in the rotation, considering she was an equal member of the party, but she was quickly and unanimously told “No.” As hungry as they were, they would not subject Bilbo to starvation unless there wasn’t a crumb of food to be found. She, of them all, needed it the most. Bilbo tried to be grateful, tried to accept their chivalry for what it was, but every time she was handed her daily ration, tears welled in her eyes. She hated to think that others were going hungry while she remained the best-fed of the Company. She had promised that she and the baby wouldn’t become a burden, and now her friends starved to keep them healthy. And even still, with this most careful rationing, they all ate their last scraps and crumbs of food long before they came to the edge of the forest.