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poodlejoonas · 3 years

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Dad!BC AU - the moms

So wow-ihateithere and I (because for some reason Tumblr won’t let me directly @ you) have been tossing out so many amazing ideas for the BC dad AU lately that we’ve thought of pretty much every scenario under the sun. One idea I’d like to throw in here is the group that is the moms who make up their own personal wolfpack. Since they’ll be brought in as stand-alone characters soon, it would be better to have a basic introduction for each and how they know/interact with each other.

(Under the read-more for length)

Joel - Emilia (”Millie”) Hokka - The absolute baddest bitch you will meet on this planet. She's a 5′1″ sweetheart, but if you lay a single finger on her kid, her husband, her BC brothers and sisters, or any of her nieces and nephews, she will become the human embodiment of that one line from “Wolfpack.” You know the one. She’s gone viral before for Joel needing to hold her back from fighting the mom of a kid who’s bullying Enkka at school, and literally watching this tiny woman become a human hurricane at the drop of a hat was enough for this kid to immediately leave him alone. From then on, kids at school know not to come after Viktor Hokka because his mom doesn’t play around. Why would she? After all, she dedicated 18 months of her life to trying to become a mom, and anyone who dares to come after her baby needs a running start to get away from her.

Sometimes even Joel has to hold her back from doing something she probably should regret but wouldn’t if it involved her family. He knows better than to cross a line with her. Then there are other times when they work together to be the shadiest power couple on earth, like when Aleksi’s ex-girlfriend Laila slanders him in the media for talking about taking custody of their son from her. If Joel comes home pissed about something, she’s the first one to jump on board with whatever plan he has to get his point across. She would totally have a stan account on Instagram dedicated to her called “milliehokkasupremacy”. And Joel loves his wife so much that he would eat every bit of this shit up. When she tells someone off, he writes down what she says and turns it into the lyrics of Blind Channel’s next single.

In short, Millie Hokka is 100 percent That Bitch™.

Bonus bit because this idea made me laugh: (in the comments section of a post slandering BC) @milliehokka: Bitch you better take this shit down before I puncture your fucking tires @joelhokka: She's my better half ❤️

Joonas - Kirsten Porko - Kirsten’s one of the quiet BC moms, and a hell of a lot more tame than Millie. But she has her shining moments every now and then, like when she was wondering why Millie took Joel with her knowing that she could’ve easily beaten that bully’s mom’s ass without him. She has the patience of a saint, being married to Joonas and raising two (soon to be three) kids with him. But she adores every minute of their chaotic little family. Since Sohvi was the first of the BC kids, the guys were quick to show up in support of her and Joonas. She was also pretty lonely until the others started dating their wives, and she was more than happy to have more friends to bond with.

She does the most to mother the rest of the kids when they need it. They love to come to their house because Kirsten will have a fresh pan of cookies ready for them. They also like hanging out with Joonas, but Kirsten is a fun aunt on her own. She’s typically the first to show up when one of the other moms tosses out a cry for help in taking care of their kids, especially when they’re newborns and the guys are away on tour. Kirsten’s total aesthetic is the absolute opposite of Joonas’s: she’s bubbly and wears nothing but pastel dresses and soft fabrics. A lot of people wonder what a “nice girl” like her is doing with a punk rocker like Joonas, until you see them interact and know that they’re crazy in love with each other and their kids. She’s the unassuming type, but she loves pranks as much as her husband and kids; she’ll play along whenever there’s a really good one and sometimes she can totally outdo them.

Niko - Jenna Moilanen - Jenna is Millie’s co-conspirator and partner-in-crime. If Millie needs someone to back her up and Joel’s trying to talk her out of whatever she’s thinking about doing, Jenna is the first to show up on the scene. She’s very much Niko’s type - she has just as many tattoos as him, several piercings, and hair that changes color depending on her mood. She’s naturally a blonde but you almost never see her as one. A lot of people tend to pass judgement on her abilities as a mom based on her appearance, but both of her and Niko’s kids adore her (especially their daughter Lahja) and they grow up happy with their loving parents. She’s a fantastic cook and works as a head chef at a five-star steakhouse, and she’s always willing to come home and cook for her family as well. She and Millie are the two shortest of the group, and it’s hilarious because they are both absolute spitfires.

Jenna has the best intuition when it comes to deciding who is trustworthy and who isn’t. There’s no “leader” in the group, but most of the others trust Jenna when someone gives her a bad feeling. She would be the one to raise the alarm on Laila years before she and Aleksi ever break up, and Laila would find the absolute worst way to end up on Jenna’s shit list. In her time with the group, Laila does nothing to help take care of the rest of the kids or try to fit in with the group. One day, when Leevi cries because he needs something, Jenna spots an annoyed expression out of the corner of her eye coming from Laila. It takes an intervention from God to stop Jenna from ripping her apart on the scene. The most important thing to note about Jenna: she calls her closest friends “bitch” affectionately. The moment it stops being affectionate, there’s no turning back.

Olli - Kaarina Matela - The quietest and calmest of the BC moms. She perfectly matches her husband’s energies, which is why they parent their daughters so well. She was definitely more calm than him on the day they learned they were having twins, and still is to this day. When he was panicking about their pregnancy scare, she was still managing to stay collected somehow (but just as relieved as he was). She’s very much like a suburban soccer mom type, but far from being a Karen because she’s aggressively kind to everyone around her, including hardworking people. And Olli just adores her so much, sometimes he doubts if he even deserves her. She’s always the first to remind him that there’s no one else she would rather be with.

Kaarina is the arts and crafts kind of aunt. During the summer, she likes to have the kids come over for day camp style hangout sessions where they mix in time outside with craft activities. She’s the reason why Olli’s stage outfits have been so cool lately, because she’s got a perfect eye for colors and is super skilled at hand-stitching patches. If the kids need anything repaired, they’ll know to go to Aunt Rina first because she’ll either make it as good as new, or turn it into some sick artwork. All the moms get along but she and Kirsten vibe together the best. They get together and plan the summer activities for the kids, which involve Rina planning the crafts and Kirsten baking for, and with, them.

Tommi - Marja Lalli - Marja is unique in her position as a BC mom because she joined the group when her son Miikka from a previous relationship was already almost 4. For a brief time, she was worried about herself and Miikka feeling left out of the group dynamic that was already there, but they were so quick to invite her in as one of them. A lot of it had to do with her being friends with Jenna since elementary school, and Jenna knew that the sisterhood would be more than happy to accept her. She and Niko help set her up with Tommi because they both know he would love her and accept Miikka as his own. She’s chill and reserved, but she’s still a ton of fun to be around. Along with Kaarina and Kirsten, she’s one of the level-headed moms and is typically the voice of reason for a lot of things (especially when it comes to trying to contain Millie and Jenna’s tempers).

The rest of the moms were thrilled when she told them she was pregnant with Anna, but constantly concerned and fretting over her when she was on occasional bed rest. If Tommi couldn’t be with her, it was one of them coming over to help take care of her and Miikka. Marja’s health showed the caring side of the sisterhood of the BC moms, how they are willing to take care of each other in sickness as well as celebrating the good times and defending each other from drama. Even months after Anna is born, they still come over from time to time to see if there’s any way they can help.

Aleksi - Laila Pekkanen (later on, marries Hanna Kaunisvesi) - So this one is a bit complicated. For about three years, Aleksi was in a high-profile relationship with Laila Pekkanen, a producer who worked with him on a solo single before joining BC. They meet again a couple years later and begin a relationship that last for about three years. But it was far from loving, as they were just in general not good for each other. A few weeks after their break-up, Laila calls Aleksi while he’s in the studio to break the news to him that she’s pregnant, which sends Aleksi into total emotional turmoil because he thought they were being careful. Of all the guys, he’s the most careful with avoiding this kind of thing, but it was her who missed one too many days of her birth control. They’re barely on speaking terms, but they agree to try to stay cordial until Aleksi can take full custody of the child himself. She admits to having no maternal instinct and wants nothing to do with the baby.

Here’s where it gets messy. Aleksi finally decides to break his silence on the matter and announces via Instagram that he will be a father and raise his son on his own. He does his best to tell his side of the story without dragging Laila down. But she takes it personally and goes on the radio to try to attack Aleksi, feeling like she’s being treated like a villain and a bad person for giving up her child. She feels like she’s being “exposed” in thinking that Aleksi publicly acknowledging their son’s existence would ruin her career, because she’d been trying everything possible to cover it up. It becomes a major feud between her and her team, and Aleksi and the BC team, but more industry people can back him up as a stand-up guy than they can come to her defense. She nearly ends up having Noah prematurely, and yet Aleksi still shows up in support, more so for their son than for her. When Noah is born months later, she refuses to hold him and immediately cuts off all contact with Aleksi.

Aleksi raises Noah alone and learns to support his son when he’s later diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Noah is semi-verbal and partially communicates with sign language. He uses sign in situations when he meets a stranger, and Aleksi respects his intuition when someone makes him uncomfortable. Noah has separation anxiety from losing his mom at a young age, so Aleksi refuses to date for years because he doesn’t want to bring a revolving door of strangers around him. But then he meets Hanna, who makes an almost instant connection with him. He’s hesitant to make a decision about a long-term relationship with her until he sees how well she works with Noah. She’s one of the first people he opens up to - mostly because of her experience as a child psychologist - but the moment that seals the deal is when Noah calls her “mom” for the first time (in sign to his cousins). Fans and people he works with can’t help but notice that Aleksi is so much happier with Hanna than Laila. And as much as he would like to have a baby with her, he’s happy having Noah and wants to invest his energy into ensuring his happiness. But Hanna understands, because she’s an angel and only wants the best for her family.

#blind channel #dad!blind channel #no idea what else to tag this as lol #this is a lot more fun than making them all reader inserts #i love writing reader inserts but it'll be nice to see them interacting with each other

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haven-in-writing · 3 years

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Bitter Bickering

@thatgirlsar #2

“Remember that time when I asked for your option?” “No”

“Yeah neither do I”

With Sam and bucky

Enhanced!Hijab wearing reader

This went from a Drabble request to a full blown chapter but I’m not sorry! It may have taken a while but it’s worth it (I hope lmao) 1,436 words 💕

————————————————————-

Inhale, exhale. Deep breath in, now let it out.

Evenings spent in relaxation in the compound were rare, considering your job. As an avenger, you were always on call or in the midst of a job. It wasn’t always easy or fun but you tended to be the positive force that the others needed. So to say that you were looking forward to a day of stress free freedom would be an understatement.

What you were not looking forward to was the loud bickering coming from the kitchen.

Inhale.

“Come on man! That was the last steak, you know those are mine! They have my name on them!” Sam’s outraged face came into view as you rounded the corner.

“Not my fault you left them in the communal fridge. You know that’s fair game,” you could practically hear the smirk in Bucky’s voice as you stepped into the room. Sam looked absolutely devastated yet ready to tear Bucky a new one.

“Dude. If it has a name on it, YOU DON'T TOUCH IT!” Sam goes to tackle him but stops upon noticing you standing in the doorway watching the whole scene play out with an un-amused look on your face.

“Hey (y/n/n), what’s up?” Sam asks, looking embarrassed by the fact that you had seen him like that.

“Nothing, I was trying to relax by going swimming but your bickering has managed to ruin that so if you could please keep it down that’d be much appreciated,” your annoyance had gotten the best of you and even the boys could hear your sarcasm as they winced at your reply. You turn to leave but a question stops you in your tracks.

Exhale. You’ve got it under control.

“How do you swim with that thing on your head?” Bucky asks before realizing what he said. He immediately shuts his mouth in a thin line as he manages an awkward smile. Things had been piling up on your shoulders for a while now. You stopped going to therapy unless it was for the mandatory after mission session and now you were finally at the edge of everything. And Buckey just had to push you.

Turning towards the two men, they know they screwed up. Losing any composure you had, you began to lay into both men.

“It’s a hijab, not a life threatening disease! I can do anything you can do and more. I can swim, I can fight, I can be a normal human so stop assuming I can’t do normal activities just because I wear a hijab because I can! I can be normal too,” You whisper, finally breaking the strong facade you had held up for months. Opening a portal, you quickly run through it and close it before the boys can even object.

“Look what you did, asshat,” Sam shakes his head.

“Hey man, remember that time I asked for your opinion?” Bucky asks, clearly annoyed at the man next to him.

“Uh, no.”

“Yeah, neither do I,” Bucky says sharply, nervous with the feeling that he had messed up so bad, you’d never want to speak to him again.

Inhale. Deep breath in.

Back in your room, you grabbed a duffel bag and packed some clothes. You’re almost done when Nat barges into your room without knocking.

“Hey y/n, can you help me—, what’s going on here?” She asked with a perfectly sculpted brow.

“I have a family emergency that needs to be tended to right away,” your short explanation needs no elaboration, your family had always been a no talk zone so she wouldn’t question it.

“Oh, I’ll let Steve and Tony know, that way they aren’t worried and you can leave a little quicker,” she says with a nod and a small smile. She either knew you were lying or was trying to be comforting and both options were unnerving to say the least.

“Thank you Natasha,” you nod your head in thanks to your mentor.

“No problem,” she leaves just as quickly as she came and just as quietly.

Grabbing your bag you summon another portal, this one to your family home, and take another breath. Your family could drive you crazy but they were the best way to ground yourself when things were piling up against you.

As you made your way through the portal you heard Bucky shout your name just as the portal snapped closed, effectively closing Bucky out too.

——————————————————

It had been refreshing being with your family, they accepted the gifts you had and were so much more accepting than you had thought. But being with them wasn’t going to fix the way you had left things with Buck. You know he didn’t mean anything by his question, so innocent and somewhat ignorant to other religions and cultures in the world. He quite literally came from a different time so it was natural curiosity. You knew you had to mend things between the two of you.

Your room at the tower was exactly how you’d left it, no surprise there. The only difference was a bouquet of flowers and a note on your nightstand. You had almost missed them, the freshly picked wildflowers varying in color weren’t even on your radar. You were expecting Bucky to be there waiting to bombard you with questions that you weren’t really wanting to have to explain. Picking up the note and dropping your bag, you sit on the edge of your bed and begin to read the card.

“Doll,

I have made a complete fool of myself but I can’t help but want to learn more about you. I’m sorry that I made you feel less than, I never meant for that to happen.

Please accept my apology, darlin’, I promise I’ll work on being less ignorant. I hope you won’t mind accepting my invitation to dinner tonight, think of it as an olive branch.”

Signed,

James

You sigh, this was probably the cutest invitation to dinner you had ever been given. How could you say no? Besides, this would be the perfect way to apologize to him for snapping the way you did.

Not bothering to change since what you were wearing was already pretty cute. Fixing your hijab and adding a couple extra pins to keep it in place, you make your way to the kitchen, following the burning smell coming from there. Unsurprisingly, you find Bucky is the culprit. You watch as he rushes the pan on fire to the sink and douses it with water.

It was a funny sight to see, Buckey with an apron on, his hair pulled back in a bun with tuffs of brown hair hanging down past his eyes. He huffed, sounding stressed about his current situation. Letting out a laugh, he turns to see you amused by his predicament.

“You know, you could have just ordered something in. Would be safer for everyone I think,” laughing a little more at the man.

“I think that may be what I have to do, doll,” he laughed too, glad that you weren’t too upset with him. He continued, “You know I know this diner down the block from here, we could walk if you’d like too?”

“I’d be honored to accompany you, James.”

He sighed in relief, silently hoping he doesn’t screw up this date. The others watch from the common room, quietly examining the two of you interacting.

“At least he didn’t serve her that pork, that would have been tragic,” Tony didn’t bother whispering as he mocked Bucky.

“Shut up Stark,” everyone hissed as the two of you walked to the elevator together laughing and talking again. As soon as the elevator closed and started descending, Tony spoke up again.

“$50 that Barnes screws up again tonight!”

“I’ll take that action, $20 on him messing up within 30 minutes,” Sam says, rounding the corner to get food from the kitchen.

“Nah, I think he’ll pull it off without messing up too bad,” Steve tries to hold in his laughter, sticking up for his friend.

“You willing to put money on that, Rogers?”

“Tony, you’re rich I’ll bet $20 against Sam,” he laughs, done with their antics.

It didn’t matter what they bet on, cause they never would have guessed that Rogers would win.

#marvel #avengers #avengers fanfiction #reader insert #avengers x reader #the avengers #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fiction #avengers fanfic #hijab!reader #Bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #drabble #request #fic request

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queermediastudies · 4 years

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Blue is, in fact, not only the Warmest Color, but her name is Emma - Alec Thomas

Blue is the Warmest Color is a 2013 film adaptation of a comic series of the same name, made by Julie Maroh in 2010. This film follows a French teenager named Adele, who is what seems to be very introverted and unsure of her place in the world. Adele dates a boy named Thomas at school, but when they eventually have sex for the first time, Adele is left unfulfilled by Thomas, realizing there might be more to her sexual identity than she knows, and decides to break off their relationship. Her openly gay best friend Valentin hears about her confusion, and decides to take her out to a men’s gay bar. Adele leaves Valentin and wanders off to a neighboring lesbian bar, where she ends up meeting Emma, the blue haired girl who is also a graduating art student. The two have resounding energy off one another almost immediately, and they become friends quickly. It isn’t long after that they kiss for the first time during a picnic, before they bloom into a full relationship with one another. Emma’s family is very welcoming of Adele’s presence and relationship, while Adele’s more conservative parents are told Emma is a tutor for Adele’s philosophy class at school.

The film fast forwards a few years, and we see Adele and Emma living together while they continue their jobs. While Adele finishes school and gets a job teaching at an elementary school, Emma tries to further her painting career by throwing parties to socialize among her art peers. It’s at one of these parties that we meet Lise, a pregnant old colleague of Emma’s. Emma makes fun of Adele’s current job choice, saying that her writing could do exceptionally well, and Adele asserts that she’s much happy with where she’s at now. It’s here where we see some disparities come to light, as it seems like Adele and Emma don’t share that much in common even anymore, and out of loneliness, Adele sleeps with a male coworker. Emma finds out about the affair, and subsequently and ferociously kicks Adele out, ending their relationship. 3 years pass before they end up meeting again, only to find out Emma is now in a relationship with Lise and has a family with Lise’s daughter, while Adele still cannot overcome her heartbreak. Adele expresses how in-love she is with Emma, and despite their strong connection, Emma declines, but tells Adele that she’ll always have an “infinite tenderness” in her heart for her. More time passes before we see the two convene one last time at one of Emma’s art exhibits, where the two meet, but don’t really connect. It’s clear that Emma would rather tend to all her patrons and guests at the party, so Adele congratulates her before quietly leaving the exhibit. The film ends. I argue this film is a generally a great depiction of a heart wrenching love tale between two women, which effectively explores themes of sexuality and queerness explicitly, in order to create a film that leaves audiences wanting more among an ambiguous ending.

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This movie definitely connects with some of the talking points we’ve discussed in class. Probably one of the easiest examples we see coming to light is in one of the first scenes in the film, where Adele’s friend group displays some signs of heteronormativity. In the clip above, we see Thomas staring at Adele from afar, with Adele’s friends insisting they’re “so obviously into each other”. Adele then begins to tune out of the conversation as the rest of the group starts discussing other cute boys, while Adele remains silent, clearly uncomfortable to some degree. It’s clear here that Adele’s friend group is using heteronormativity in the sense that they believe Adele is straight, despite no context being added whether they’ve discussed this before. Seeing as how the rest of the film pans out, they clearly haven’t discussed this. “For queer theorists, sexuality is a complex array of signifiers, social codes and forces linked to institutional power which interact to shape the idea of normal or deviant, good or bad, and which has the function of including and excluding people,” (Andersson, 2002, p. 3). In this scene, Adele is unsure of her sexuality, but it is clear how it should be demonstrated among the institution of her school in the ways of heteronormativity. This environment excludes any notion of queerness existing normally, which is reinforced by Adele’s friend group. This becomes problematic for Adele, as it feels as though Adele is almost pressured into going out and sleeping with Thomas because of her friends' heteronormativity enacted upon her. She is then only left to be unfulfilled, simply because she wasn’t attracted to men it seems at this point.

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The above clip happens once Emma and Adele start spending more time together, and Adele’s friend group at school seems to pay attention to this fact. They all begin to grill and question her about where she met this girl, only to find out it was at a gay bar. Her “friends” then start getting heated with Adele, begging her to “fess up” to being lesbian, and to “just admit it”, while another girl starts making remarks about how she doesn’t care if Adele is lesbian, but that she’s slept naked in her bed a few times and seen her checking out her ass, calling Adele a “whore”, and then asking the question “Does your bitch have a blue p---y?” before Adele starts to fight. While this is clearly homophobia, it’s carefully inserted into the film to show some of the general public’s opinion on gay or lesbian reception, those of which lines match pretty well with Adele’s parents ideals. You could compare this to a time where “homosexuals” were compared to Communists in the U.S. “Communists bore no identifying physical characteristics...Homosexuals too could escape detection...Because most people confronted with accusations of homosexuality during these witch-hunts quietly resigned, it is impossible to determine the number of careers and lives that were destroyed.” (Gross, 2001, p. 22). This scene almost plays out like an interrogation or a witch-hunt of Adele, which I think draws on some lines on queer folk having to “admit” their queerness publicly, while cisgender folk never have to admit their sexuality in the same way. This part especially demonstrates queerness in a real world lens. To me, this scene was put into the film in order to demonstrate the harsh world that queer folk often experience. It’s made for the audience to have a better understanding of Adele’s current position, and therefore allows the audience to become more compassionate with Adele’s struggles along her life, for simply choosing who she wants to love.

Another dominant theme we see arising out of this film is sexuality and pornography. That being said, I wouldn’t recommend watching this film with your parents in the same room, because boy, you would be in for a trip. The film’s graphic sex scenes are all pretty exposed for Adele and Emma, leaving almost literally nothing to the imagination of the audience. I think this is done in the film because it wants to show the raw and unfiltered bodies of the two lovers, and more obviously done to display queer love on screen. “Queer film study, then, understands cinematic sexualities as complex, multiple, overlapping, and historically nuanced, rather than immutably fixed...queer film study explores how and why the fluidity of all sexualities relates to the production and reception of cinema.” (Benshoff & Griffin, 2004, p. 2). We especially see this sexual fluidity occur within Adele, when she sleeps with Thomas at the beginning of the movie, along with her fling with a male coworker that ultimately ended her relationship with Emma. Adele’s sexuality isn’t ever exactly defined, which leaves it ambiguous to the audience, therefore showing that even Adele is still discovering what her sexuality is exactly. While the sex scenes are explicit, to me, I wouldn’t qualify them exactly as porn, because they are also increasingly dramatic with expression. In a way, if we didn’t have these scenes, I don’t know if the audience could even understand the level of obsession that Adele and Emma have for one another. It’s in these scenes that we get just a glimpse of what it means to love as humans, and how sex is one of many facets to deepen our love for one another.

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For myself, the above clip is one scene in particular where I think the movie doesn’t really hit the nail on the head. In the scene as discussed in the intro paragraph, it features Adele and Emma in a restaurant, a few years after they’ve broken up, with Adele confessing her deep love for Emma again. Emma declines Adele’s love, citing that she’s with someone else now, and thus leaves. Before Emma is able to do that however, there’s a pretty lengthy portion of the clip where the two begin to passionately make out with one another, even getting to literal third base blatantly happening at the dinner table. Don’t get me wrong, my issue isn’t at all with any of the pretty graphic sex scenes in the movie, but this one in particular stands out because it’s literally in public. Literally a waitress confirms an order for coffee before the scene starts, and then the camera even pans out at the end of the scene to witness two other customers dining a few tables away. I felt like this part ran into a few problems, since both Adele and Emma completely ignore everyone else in the room in order to sexually fulfill one another, which for me not only feels a bit insensitive to not only the other people in the restaurant, but a bit unrealistic and hypersexualized. I think this part is more damaging to queer identities, in the sense that the ideal is being pushed that when it comes to sex, they are completely unable to control themselves for their lust for one another. You also get a sense of the power of looking at these characters by the minor characters in this scene, which pins them as public interpretations of sexuality inside the restaurant unfairly. They are more than just the objects of lust being viewed upon by other customers and work staff, but this scene doesn’t help that argument whatsoever.

Much like most things in the movie, the ending is completely ambiguous. You see Adele walk off around a street corner, to supposedly never talk to Emma again. We see this love come together, fall apart, and have a smidge of possible recovery, only to be let down again. Shortly put, I wanted more out of this story, because it felt like it wasn’t over. Maybe the reason it ended was to show that things don’t always have a “Happily Ever After”, especially when it comes to real life. Overall, for myself as a cisgender white straight man, I think this film is great in terms of queer media exposure. I think white and straight people have been given too much in terms of amount of privilege, especially when it comes to roles in love stories in cinema. I was forced to be critical when it came to my analysis of this movie, simply because I wasn’t the identity featured in this movie. I had to interpret information from a queer lens, which made me more objective and honestly a bit uncomfortable - but in a good way. I was forced to feel and see the things these characters were experiencing, in the exact same exposed ways they were seeing them. In a way, I think that made me more drawn to the story, simply because I was experiencing something that I had never gotten the chance to see anywhere else. The fact that the entire film is in French plays a big role as well, as I noticed I was using a lot of nonverbal cues in order to determine how a character might feel at any point in time. To conclude, I think this movie does a mostly great job on representing queer identities in order to create a love story that is unequivocally matched to any other story you see. It hits on the realistic parts of life and love that humans experience, in order to show how rough love can truly be.

References

Andersson, Y. (2002). Queer Media? In E. Kingsepp (Ed.), Media Research in Progress. Stockholm: Stockholms University.

Benshoff, H., & Griffin, S. (2004). Queer Cinema the Film Reader. New York, NY: Routledge. Taylor & Francis Group.

Gross, L. (2001). Up from Invisibility: Lesbians, Gay Men, and the Media in America. NEW YORK: Columbia University Press. doi:10.7312/gros11952

#queermedia #blue is the warmest color #moviereview #queermovie #loveislove

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

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100 followers special post: KorraSami Book 1

Today’s entry (sort of a little extra for 100 followers) is rather short and admittedly just the tip of an iceberg I want to tackle later on, as it relates to a certain issue with Dobson in general when it comes to his “support” of the LGBT community. In addition it is not a comic I want to talk about, but rather a picture. To be more precise this one:

Titled “Out of our way” and released around summer of 2015, this picture is obviously fanart in relation to KorraSami, the ship of Avatar Korra and Asami Sato, which unlike other ships in certain fandoms became even canon according to “Word of God” and some post tv series material. Now personally my opinion on KorraSami is a bit “complicated”. I do not hate it nor do I really think it is as “groundbreaking” as many, including Dobson, make it out to be. Reasons for that I am willing one day to discuss in detail, but not now.

And like with KorraSami, my opinion on the picture is also a bit complicated. To paraphrase John Cleese from a famous sketch: I may not know much about art, but I know what I like. So when it comes to things such as posture and linework I can not give too many critical details.

However, even I see from a technical point a few irksome details. Like how Asami’s hips move a bit too much perspective wise to the left, making it look like she would soon slip off the wheelchair, the sparks on the ground looking more like someone inserted shitty fries via MS Paint in the picture and Korra’s face looking like it was hit with a frying pan at least once. But honestly, I think it does not look that terrible and it is at least colorful.

That said, I think it highlights a certain issue with how Dobson perceives the ship.

Independent of my thoughts on the ship, I think Korra and Asami are pretty neat characters personality wise. They are both not flawless (in fact, Korra at the start of season 2 felt like any character development from last season was missing and don’t get me even started on how she would have almost started a world war because she was a whinny ass) but they are pretty strong and independent characters who went through a lot both as friends and as individuals over the course of the show. Well, that and they boned the same guy.

The thing with Dobson is, any time I see him do something with those two, that sort of badassery is not really on display. Instead his KorraSami fanart tends to be just whimsical fluff as seen e.g. here

And don’t get me wrong, I do not think fluff is bad. I like cute pics too and hey, the following two pics in regard of KorraSami by Dobson count for me as decent fluff, even if from a technical drawing point there are likely still flaws in the pic. Mostly because they are also related as pics to the world of the show they are part of, with the first one even showing interaction with someone other than the ship.

But I also think that just because you ship two or multiple characters, doesn’t mean you can’t also draw something of such characters as a power couple so to speak. In case of those two, perhaps something like fighting a group of Equalists, showing Asami building and working on something with Korra at her side metal binding something according to Asami’s instructions etc. You know, something that is both “cute” because in a way they do stuff as a couple, but also badass because it is about two characters doing something they were born for. Or not even necessarily badass. Just something that shows them in a situation that isn’t just mindless fluff or feels like you just randomly insert the characters into whatever you can think of, thinking that in itself makes it already shipping art.

Bottomline, Dobson when tackling KorraSami only focuses mostly on the mindless fluff of the ship. Which in my opinion is in so far an issue, as that it reduces this so called “groundbreaking LGBT representation in animation” just further down into something cute and rather shallow Dobson can adore. The characters are not appreciated for their personality, but fo their looks and how cute they look together. And frankly, can something be considered “good representation” when it is just pretty shallow on closer look?

This at least is one of multiple issues I have with KorraSami in general, but also in relation with Dobson. Others I can address later on someday. I also bring it up here mostly, because this “shallowness” is indirectly on display in “Out of our way” once you know a bit about why Dobson drew this and how it may even be a bit insensitive. Not for any living creature, but the character of Korra actually.

See, here is the thing: The inspiration for the pic was two things: A clip from an anime called Gekijouban To Aru Majutsu no Railgun (which I admittedly never saw in my life and do not necessarily intend to) as seen here

And the fact that Korra spends some time in a wheelchair over the course of the show. And considering that the scene from the anime is actually meant to be funny (as it actually ends with both characters crashing in the gras in a hilarious position), what sort of cartoonish antics resulted in Korra temporarily being in a wheelchair? Did she slip on water during waterbending? Break her leg in some heroic fight but took it in strife and even made fun of her situation? You want to know?

Korra was kidnapped, tortured, poisoned with mercury and almost killed by a group of four terrorists, resulting in her being physically crippled for a long time and suffering from mental trauma, depression and PTSD.

……..ehhhhhhhh….. Funny?

Yeah, on a technical level I do not think the picture is the worst, but as “fanart” when you consider any canon context involving wheelchairs and Korra… yaiks. I mean, tone deaf is a bit of an understatement.

And I am not making this up. The plot of season 3 of Legend of Korra involved a group of four elemental benders trying to kill Korra, because their leader thinks that if he kills her he can break the Avatar cycle and that in turn will bring in a new era where people take their lives as a whole in their own hands, instead of the fate of the world depending on a few chosen ones like the Avatar. To do so they kidnap Korra and poison her with mercury, which they forcefully bend into her body. This results in her going full avatar mode and fighting the main villain Zaheer, only to get her ass handed by him thanks to the poison and him almost suffocating her by bending the air out of her lungs. Korra was in fact closer to death than any other character I have seen in the show, including Aang. And the aftermath of Zaheer’s actions were horrible. Season 3 ended with Korra still recovering from the poison (which had been bended out of her body again), by being stuck in a wheelchair and it being obvious she needs to get through rehabilitation. And while she did put on a brave face in front of everyone, the final shot of the episode is her at a ceremony celebrating the air nations rebirth, a single tear going down her cheek, indicating that in a way she is broken. The hotheaded and overall determined Korra at her lowest point.

I will openly admit, when I first saw that scene, I was taken aback a bit how bittersweet if not outright depressing the ending was. Begging the question, how by the time season 4 would roll in, Korra would have recovered. Turned out, not well. Not only was season 4 set three years after the events of the last one, but the first two episodes showed among other things how Korra went through rehabilitation in those years, how she was on more than one occasion on the brink of giving up and how she essentially went into hiding, not wanting to meet her friends again, abandoning her duties as the Avatar. She was not a sobbing mess, but she was broken. Not considering herself worthy of the title of avatar for the longest time and still suffering from physical and mental trauma because of what had happened to her. In fact, one of the better aspects of season 4 is how Korra tries to overcome her own trauma, in order to be strong enough to take on the fight against Kuvira before she can turn the Earth Kingdom completely into the Third Reich and take Republic City over.

In short, the picture of Korra in a wheelchair has a pretty significant and dramatic meaning for the character and the show as a whole. It is an important aspect of te shows storytelling and Korra’s final part of her character arc. Something with gravitas a lot of fans acknowledge. But Dobson sees it supposedly as something that gives way for a “badass and fun” pic with his favorite ship. And again, in my opinion, that is just tone deaf.I am not saying you can’t make a KorraSami pic with the wheelchair, but I think something with that motive should out of respect for the actual canon and its characters also be more somber than what we got here.

Which brings me back to how Dobson handles the couple in a shallower manner than it needs to be. Cause if he wasn’t just out for whimsical fun and fluff with his two favorite lesbians from Nickelodeon and would Korra and Asami consider more than just something to fawn upon based on looks, he could have drawn something more meaningful that genuinely showed how both are a decent representation of an LGBT-couple and interesting individuals. Cause being a couple when everything is fun and sunshine is one thing. Being there for each other when things are hard? THAT is the challenge and shows how much you really love someone.

#korrasami #andrew dobson #lgbt representation #lgbt #legend of korra #adobsonartwork #adobsonart #shipping #korra #korra comics #asami sato

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minijenn · 4 years

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A Whole Mess of Unused Keys To The Kingdom Content

Because sometimes when I’m working on Keys, I get overzealous and write scenes that don’t contribute anything so I decide to cut them out or change them to make the flow better. So here’s a bunch of unfinished scenes from the first third of the fic (since we just passed the first third of it, I’m sure I’ll make a follow up to this once we get 2/3s done with it). Make of these what you will, I’ll try my best to explain why they were cut as we go along:

From Chapter 7; I largely cut this bit when I remembered Kairi would actually know who Aerith is because of KH1, but of course I didn’t remember that until AFTER I wrote this scene out, either way its a pleasant interaction between the two, I think, even if I cut it because it makes no sense in terms of what actually happened in past games (I also had to straight up screencap this one bc its on word and my use of word expired so it won’t let me straight up copy stuff anymore lol):

From Ch. 17; I originally wanted the Moana chapters to sort of carry all of the same songs as the movie did? And for the most part they do, what with Your Welcome and Know Who You Are and stuff like that but when I got to Tamatoa, I realized that the Shiny scene just wasn’t working as a musical number, hence I rewrote the whole thing and cut all this out:

“Because if you are… I will gladly do so. In song form!”

Sora and Moana only had the briefest chance to look to each other, absolutely confused before Tamatoa launched into said song, one that was filled with nothing but all the self-adulation the crab could possibly give. Which, of course, was quite a lot.

“Well, Tamatoa hasn’t always been this glam.

I was a drab little crab once.

Now I know I can be happy as a clam,

Because I’m beautiful, baby!”

To show off said beauty, Tamatoa began to spin around his cavern, allowing the mass of treasure he’d collected to glisten off its walls as he continued to latch onto his captive pair all the while.

“Did your granny say listen to your heart?

Be who you are on the inside?

I need three words to tear her argument apart:

Your granny LIED!

I’d rather be shiny!

Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck,

Scrub the deck,

And make it look shiny!

I will sparkle like a wealthy woman’s neck--

Just a sec-”

Tamatoa’ already wide grin grew as he glance up at the pool of water hanging above his head, one that was filled with a swarming school of fish just waiting to be devoured.

“Dontcha know--

Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb,

They chase anything that glitters!

Beginners!

Oh, and here they come, come, come,

To the brightest thing that glitters!”

The giant crab opened his maw wide as the fish swam down toward him, attracted by his glistening glow as they fell directly into his waiting mouth.

“Mm, fish dinners!

I just love free food,

And you look like seafood…”

From Ch. 22; I’m surprised the longest chapter of Keys so far doesn’t have more cut content but I had started writing this bit before realizing that it would have been redundant. I wanted this information to be explained to Sora and the reader at the same time to give it more potency and emotional weight, hence why I cut this out (also cut it out to give more flow following the scene between Kairi and Axel near the beginning of the chapter that this would have immediately been after):

Despite this reassuring thought, the mood the pair was met with upon venturing back into the house was anything but based on the first thing they heard upon entering. “What do you mean there’s nothing more you can do for him?!” Donald asked, both him and Goofy looking to Aerith for answers.

For her part, Aerith still remained as calm as she had been before, though she did let out a small, sad sigh, stealing a glance back at Sora as he lay, still unconscious, on the makeshift cot behind her. “I’ve healed just about all of his wounds, but… to be honest, there weren’t even that many of them,” she began to explain. “The problem is that he was poisoned. Heavily poisoned at that.”

“So? Can’t ya just get rid of the poison using some sort of spell?” Yuffie asked.

Aerith shook her head. “I tried that, several different spells in fact, but… none of them worked. I’ve never seen anything like it before. Whatever kind of magic Maleficent created it from must have been very powerful and very devastating, but… she definitely knew what she was doing when she cast it on him. It’s like she gave him just enough to incapacitate him completely. Any more than what’s already flowing through his blood stream would have-” She stopped short as she happened to glance over Kairi’s way, a brief spark of dread flashing through her expression before she put a hasty end to her explanation. “Um… n-never mind.”

From Ch. 26; the longest cut scene so far, pretty much a song-less version of I’ve Got a Dream (which I happen to be listening to while posting this, oh the irony); It’s a cute, fun little scene but it ultimately adds nothing to either the Tangled side of things or the original Keys side of things. In fact it kind of ruined the entire chapter’s pacing as a whole (I didn’t cut this out until the chapter was done as a matter of fact). Anyway here it is, because I still like it but again, it brought the chapter crawling to a huge grinding halt and I didn’t want that:

“But more might show up,” Sora pointed out. “It’s hard to tell when they might-”

“Yep, exactly,” Flynn interjected hastily. “Which is why maybe we should get out of the woods for a bit. Just to wait ‘em out. Is anyone hungry? I know a great place for lunch.”

“Lunch?” Sora raised a curious eyebrow at this. “I thought you wanted to get to the kingdom as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, well, we can’t do that on an empty stomach,” Flynn urged the others to follow him. “Now come on. You’ll know the place when you smell it.”

***

The place Flynn led the group to was rather underwhelming compared to how he’d described it: a squat, rather misshapen building that certainly looked its age based on the withering wood it was built from. It was practically propped up against the overgrown tree it stood in the shadows of, casting the entire restaurant in a rather shady light.

“Aaaaand here we are!” Flynn grinned in satisfaction as he began making his way down the path that led to the diner. “The Snuggly Duckling. Don’t worry, very quaint place, perfect for you, blondie. Don’t want you scaring again and giving up on this whole endeavor now, do we?”

“Well… I do like ducklings,” Rapunzel shrugged with an oblivious smile.

“Yay!” Flynn returned her bright grin almost mockingly.

“So, what makes this place so ‘great’ anyway?” Sora asked, curiously.

“Oh, you’ll see…” Flynn said, an air of mystery even as he threw the restaurant's door open. “Garcon! Your finest table, please!”

Rapunzel couldn’t hold back a terrified gasp upon getting her first glimpse at the other patrons of the restaurant. If there were any men who fit the description of “ruffians and thugs” perfectly, then they were all right at home in this restaurant, or tavern, to be more precise. The dingy dining room was packed with all manner of big, burly men, a vast majority of whom were scarred, unwashed, or weapon-wielding as they all turned their intimidating glares toward the group that had just stepped through the door. Rapunzel didn’t hesitate to lift her frying pan up in self defense and likewise, the trio was somewhat on edge as well, only barely hesitating to summon their weapons since none of the thugs had really made a move to attack them. Even so, they didn’t really rule out the option that they might based on the threatening manner they all mutually carried.

“You smell that?” Flynn was still grinning as he began to guide Rapunzel onward into the tavern, despite the fact that she was clearly terrified by the frightening assemblage around her. “Take a deep breath through the nose. Really let that seep in. What are you guys getting? To me, it’s part man-smell, and the other part is really bad man-smell. I don’t know why, but overall it smells like the color brown. Your thoughts, sunshine?” he asked Rapunzel, who let out a horrified gasp as one of the thugs suddenly grabbed her hair.

“That’s a lot of hair…” the thug noted, even as Rapunzel hastily pulled it away from him so she could flee.

“She’s growing it out,” Flynn remarked. “Say, is that blood in your mustache? Blondie, look at all the blood in his mustache!”

“Hey, Flynn?” Sora interjected, his expression aptly suspicious in light of the circumstances. “What’s the big idea here?”

“Why, I have no idea what you mean, kid,” Flynn rebuffed, feigning innocence. “I just wanted to give blondie a taste of a real five star establishment here.”

“This is what you call five-star?” Donald asked dubiously.

“...More or less.”

“I dunno… Rapunzel looks awfully scared... “ Goofy frowned, glancing over at Rapunzel, who had essentially backed herself into a corner, her hair bundled up in her arms and her frying pan still held at the ready to attack.

“Well, hey, you know, if that’s the case, then maybe we should just take her home and call it a day,” Flynn shrugged apathetically. “She’d probably be better off anyway. If she can’t handle this place, then maybe she should just go back to her tower.”

Despite his smooth, convincing grin, the trio only offered him a shared, disapproving glance at this, none of them on board with his plan to coax Rapunzel back into the sheltered, stifled life she’d known before. Still, Flynn didn’t get much of a chance to sway them otherwise as one of the larger thugs suddenly spun him around roughly to face him.

“Is this you?” the thug asked, pointing to the wanted poster in his hand that sure enough, depicted Flynn Rider.

“Uh… n-no?” Flynn shrugged, hoping the man would somehow believe him.

“Oh, it’s him alright,” another thug, one with a hoof in the place of one of his hands, spoke up with a greedy grin. “You!” he pointed to another nearby ruffian. “Go get some guards. And as for you,” the thug used his hook to pull Flynn in by the collar of his shirt. “That reward is gonna buy me a new hook.”

“I could use the money,” another thug stepped in, grabbing Flynn roughly before another one did the same.

“What about me? I’m broke!”

“No, that reward is mine!”

“But I want it!”

From there, an all out brawl began to break out between the thugs, with each of them clamoring to apprehend Flynn so they could claim the hefty prize that came along with his capture. Rapunzel and the trio were aptly startled by this sudden, violent shift, and even though they were greatly outnumbered, they all rushed in to try to put a stop to it.

“R-ruffians! Please, stop!” Rapunzel cried anxiously.

“Yeah! Leave him alone!” Sora shouted, finally calling upon his Keyblade. Donald and Goofy gaped at this, both of them realizing that Sora was more than likely to get himself into an unnecessary scuffle in doing so, but that hardly seemed to matter to him as he joined Rapunzel in trying to pick through the burly crowd Flynn was struggling to escape.

The hook-handed thug was just about posed to land a heavy blow to Flynn’s jaw to cease that struggle when Rapunzel finally put a stark end to the aggressive outburst. All it took was using her hair as a whip to land a sharp, yet effective blow to said thug’s bald head, to get everyone to freeze in surprise at just how bold this unassuming girl seemed to be.

“Put him down!” Rapunzel ordered fiercely, catching an ire-filled glare from the thug in the process. She gasped, afraid as the thug began to approach her, pulling out the axe hanging from his back as he did. Fortunately for her though, Sora hurried in to her defense just in time.

“Back off!” he warned, brandishing his Keyblade against the much-larger thug’s weapon.

“Tch, what are you gonna do with a key that fancy, kid?” the thug sneered. “Unlock the world’s biggest door?”

“Oh, believe me, you don’t wanna see what I can really do with it,” Sora retorted, more than ready to use it to keep both Rapunzel and Flynn safe.

“Sora-” Donald and Goofy tried to mutually protest, though it didn’t really do much good as the thug inched his axe in closer.

“Try me,” he growled coldly.

“W-wait!” Rapunzel interrupted from her spot behind Sora, not wanting to see any additional fighting break out. “L-listen, “ she pleaded with the hook-handed thug. “I don’t know where I am, and I need him,” she pointed her frying pan at Flynn, who was still being held aloft by the rest of the thugs. “To take me to see the lanterns because I’ve been dreaming about seeing them my entire life! Find your humanity! Haven’t any of you ever had a dream?!”

The thug said nothing to this at first, his expression still just as stoic as dense silence filled the bar. That is, until that stoicism finally wavered into a softer, wistful expression. “I… had a dream once…” With this, he tossed his axe aside, and as it struck one of the bar’s already weapon-ridden walls, he headed over to the piano on stage and began to play a surprisingly jaunty, upbeat tune. “I’ve always yearned to be a concert pianist!”

At this, the other thugs in the pub began to ease up a bit as well as a few of them started voicing their own hopes and dreams. “I really want to make a love connection!” a rather large-nosed ruffian proclaimed with a romantic gleam in his eyes.

“I want to quit and be a florist!” another thug cried as he quickly began fashioning a surprisingly lovely floral arrangement.

“Interior design!” a ruffian remarked with a flippant flair as he expertly rearranged a small corner of the pub.

“Ulf here is into mine,” a thug pointed out his companion, who sure enough was playfully miming next to where Flynn was sullenly hanging as he watched this ridiculous display play out. Even so, Rapunzel was instantly charmed by it, and likewise, the trio eased up, confused yet curious to see where this bizarre and wholesome scene might be going.

“You have to try Attila’s cupcakes, they’re sublime!”

“I knit!”

“I sew!”

“I do little puppet shows!”

“And Vladimir collects ceramic unicorns!”

“What about you?” the hook handed man asked Flynn with a suspicious glare.

“I’m sorry, me?” Flynn scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“What’s your dream?” the big-nosed thug pulled him down off the hook he was hanging from.

“No, no, boys,” he rebuffed with a laugh. “I’m not into the whole sappy dream thing.” He quickly changed his tune however, as just about all of the thugs pointed their deadly weapons right at him threateningly. “Ah-ha… o-ok, well… I-I’d like to be filthy rich and live on my own private island faaaar away from anyone else. Does that work for you fellas, or what?”

The thugs let out a rowdy shout, catching Flynn off guard once more as they all threw him up into the air once more. At the same time, Rapunzel climbed up onto one of the tables, more than eager to voice her own life-long desire as well. “I’ve got a dream too!” she announced brightly, all of the thugs turning to her to hear it. “I want to see the floating lanterns! You know, today’s the first time I’ve ever left my tower, but I’m so glad I did after everything I’ve seen and all of the lovely people I’ve met like all of you!” The thugs all let out a solid cheer of support at this as Rapunzel grinned down at the trio standing on the ground next to her. “What about you guys?” she asked them curiously. “Do you have a dream too?”

“Oh, uh…” Sora hesitated, facing sudden scrutiny from both the thugs and from Donald, who was sending him the unspoken order to maintain the world order in his answer. “W-we… we want to find a special Key and use it and a bunch of others to help our friends!” he proclaimed, knowing that was a very simplified version of the whole story, but fortunately, it was enough to satisfy his companions and the pug thugs alike.

“So you see?” Rapunzel turned back to the thugs, still maintaining her warm grin. “We’re all not so different after all! We all have dreams we want to see come true someday!”

The thugs and ruffians all let out another round of cheers at this, their excitement palpable in the aftermath of everyone sharing those dreams. The levity wasn’t able to last too long, however, as the tavern door burst open to reveal the thug that had been sent off just a while ago. “I’ve found the guards!” he announced, sending a startled ripple through the entire pub.

Even so, Flynn wasted no time in grabbing Rapunzel and the trio alike at this, pulling them all out of sight as a handful of armored soldiers stormed in. “Where’s Rider?!” the captain demanded. “Where is he?! I know he’s in here somewhere. Find him! Turn the place upside down if you have to!”

The captain only barely missed spotting the group hiding under the bar, not really having anywhere else to go, especially as even more guards filed in. Flynn narrowly peaked over the edge of the bar to see that they weren’t the only ones either, as he just so happened to spot them toting in his now-arrested former partners in crime: the Stabbington Brothers. Former, in the sense that he’d been the one to abandon them with the prize they’d stolen together, not only to escape the guards but that first round of marauding Heartless alike.

Yet despite Flynn’s apt panic at such a daunting situation, the entire group was caught off guard by the hook handed thug. He said nothing as he joined them behind the bar, instead nodding for the group to silently follow him over to the far side of it. From there, with the flick of a single inconspicuous switch, a secret door opened up, revealing a passageway down into a cavern that led out of the pub completely. Just about the best means of escape they were going to get, all things considered.

“Go,” the thug whispered with a warm smile. “Live your dreams.”

“I will,” Flynn replied, immensely relieved.

“Your dream stinks,” the thug scowled. “I was talking to them,” he nodded to Rapunzel and the trio. Flynn simply carried an annoyed scowl as he began to crawl into the passageway.

“Thanks for everything,” Rapunzel said, the trio offering the same grateful sentiments as they also began to make their way into the cavern. They did so just in time as the hook-handed thug closed the door to the passage way up, concealing it from sight right before the guards began to search behind the bar, only to find not a single sign of Flynn Rider, or anyone else for that matter, to speak of.

From Ch. 27: aka the chapter I’m currently working on. Idk Tangled has a lot of scenes that went unused in KH3′s take on things and I figured this one would be necessary to explain why Rapunzel and Eugene got separated but I only ended up writing a paragraph or so of it last night before deciding I wanted to shift focus back over to the trio instead at that point. So here it is:

“Ah! There you are!” Eugene greeted the Stabbington Brothers with a show of faux camaraderie, knowing he was just about the last person they probably wanted to see in light of his earlier betrayal. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you guys since we got separated. The sideburns are coming in nice, huh?” The brothers simply eyed him harshly at this, silently telling him to get the point already. “A-anyhow, I just wanted to say that I shouldn’t have split. The crown is all yours.” He tossed the satchel their way, the crown spilling out of it as it landed. “I’ll miss you, but I think it’s for the… best...”

He trailed off as one of the brothers stood to approach him, hardly paying any mind to the crown as he did. “Holding out on us again, eh, Rider?”

#jen writes #keys to the kingdom #keys unused #unused writing

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thestray · 3 years

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The 62 2020 Movies Releases I Watched During 2020 Ranked

Like the awkward title says, I’m going to rank (and talk about) all the 2020 movies I watched in 2020. This is not meant as any empirical list of what was best, it’s ranked by what I liked the least to the most, and my main criteria is what kind of impact it had on me and/or how much I enjoyed the experience of watching it.

Little bit about myself, I went to art school for animation, then after art school I went to a community college where I studied screenwriting. Never ended up pursuing either thing professionally, but I still write screenplays in my free time and read screenwriting books and listen to screenwriting podcasts. I'm the type of person that loves special features, seeks out behind the scenes information and director interviews, and watch youtube videos analyzing films. I love film, and thinking about film and talking about film and sharing the films I like, and maybe one day making films of my own, who knows.

Ranking and reviewing 62 movies was a more ambitious and challenging task than I anticipated, I rearranged this list swapping titles back and forth so many times, and then I’d remember a movie I forgot I watched and have to add that and figure out where it ranks. I started this on January 1st and am just now ready to post it on the 17th, I was still switching rankings right up until posting this. Even looking at it now there are some kinda want to switch but I’ve accepted that this is more or less arbitrary, lol.

The more I learn about film and what goes into creating a movie the more lenient I am about them. It’s not like I’m never critical of films, but I try to consider both the good and the bad of a movie instead of thinking in a binary of films are either amazing or trash. Some of these films aren’t great, but I typically still enjoyed them to some degree. Except Mulan, lol. I’m sorry Mulan. Speaking of Mulan...

62. Mulan

I'm going to try to say something nice about all these movies even if I didn't like them at all. So... I like the cast, and there are some nice visual moments. I actually was looking forward to this movie before reviews started coming out, it has 2 of the martial arts G.O.A.T.s in it, Donnie Yen and Jet Li, and also Jason Lee as the bad guy, so I figured it might at the very least have some decent action, but they were all underutilized. There’s not a single moment in the film where I felt anything at all. I think all these Disney live-action remakes are doing is making a case for how effective animation is for storytelling.

61. Color Out of Space

I heard a lot of good things about this movie, and it’s really cool visually, and I love Nicolas Cage always, but I really couldn’t get into it. I guess my main issue is that it starts off already too campy for any of to the Lovecraftian horror to really hit. It felt like a B-movie with great production value, and maybe that’s what they were going for? I really wanted to like this but I really just did not feel invested in anything going on, did not relate to anyone in the family, so I don’t think I got much out of it besides the cool visuals.

60. Bloodshot

I think the main flaw of this movie is that is that Vin Diesel was a producer on it, and Vin Diesel should be kept away from making creative decisions on movies. How Did This Get Made did a great podcast episode on this movie. It’s absolute nonsense, it has a couple of cool sequences and special effects in it, and Lamorne with a British accent is great, he’s the main redeeming value of this movie.

59. The Midnight Sky

It seems like this movie wants to be Interstellar, it’s structured in a very similar way, but it just didn’t quite have that same emotional punch. It looks very good, it’s well-acted, it has it’s moments.

58. The New Mutants

It's not as much of a trainwreck as people make it out to be in my opinion, I think the cast is good and it has some good character interactions, but it mostly suffers from the fact that it's way too predictable, from the beginning you're way ahead of the characters, and it doesn't help that they're in this confined setting so there's not a lot for them to actually do. But I appreciate the attempt at using mutants to do a horror breakfast club thing, good concept.

57. Vampires vs The Bronx

Vampires as a gentrifiers taking over the hood, great idea. Mero is in it, the brand is brolic. It was a fun set up, but it was neither funny enough or scary enough in my opinion. The vampires die so easily it's like okay whatever. It's like a really long Goosebumps episode.

56. Freaky

I don't think the execution lived up to the great concept, but Vince Vaughan was really great in those sincere moments playing a teenage girl. Horror fans will appreciate the gory kills. I'm not going to spoil anything but I do think there are some narrative issues that keep this from being stronger than it could've been. If you made the killer a creepy janitor at the school or even one of the teachers, then I think that would've created more interesting situations.

55. Eurovision

I love Will Ferrell, I even love some of his flops like Casa De Mi Padre and Kicking and Screaming, and even the House I think had a lot of really funny moments. This was definitely one of the least funny movies he's done to me. I think the director David Dobkin couldn't commit to being silly the way Adam McKay can cause there's a lot of this movie that just has no jokes, and the movie is over 2 hours long which isn't normal for comedies so you spend a lot of time watching unfunny scenes and extended musical numbers.

54. The Wrong Missy

I'm not a big fan of most Happy Madison movies, the jokes are very hit or miss for me. I'm a big fan of Lauren Lapkus though so I watched it to support her, and she plays an absolute psycho in this. It's so over the top it's like this character is not a human being, but I have to admit there are a few moments where she made me laugh pretty loud. I'd never watch this movie again, but maybe I'd look up certain parts on youtube.

53. The Platform

High concept dystopian sci-fi horror. Reminds me of the Cube. It's one of those things that makes you think about what you'd do in the same situation. It's a very on the nose allegory, so by the end of it my only takeaway was "Yeah, it really be like that."

52. Archenemy

Another high concept movie. Joe Mangienello is good in it, but Glenn Howerton and Paul Scheer are my favorite parts of the movie, it's fun to see comedy actors play bad guys. My main problem with the movie was that I did not find the teen character to be interesting or relatable at all, in fact he can be kind of obnoxious. In his introductory scene he's REALLY bothering this random guy minding his own business, not respecting his boundaries at all. Then the rest of the movie is about him exploiting a homeless man and being really pushy for likes on some app, and he doesn't really have a character arc. Also wasn't a big fan of the animated sequences but I forgive that knowing this was a low budget movie and those sequences were done by a team of just 3 people.

51. Power

Jamie Foxx is great. I think he makes almost anything he's in watchable to some degree. The idea of this movie is fun but I think the action sequences are kinda underwhelming, but Jamie makes it worth watching in my opinion.

50. Birds of Prey

This movie was all style and absolutely no substance. When your main character doesn't have a solid purpose or goal you're really just watching shit happen, and that can be okay if the shit that's happening is occassionally fun or funny, but it doesn't really make for a memorable story in my opinion.

49. Wonder Woman 84

The most panned movie of 2020 maybe? It's got flaws for sure and some narrative choices I just can't understand why they made. It has some fun performances though and I ultimately appreciated that our superhero wins not by using her fists but by appealing to goodness. I feel like you rarely see that kind of idealism any more. It may not be realistic but I think that's one of the things fantasy is good for, showing us a way things could be better to strive for. But yeah, the Steve Trevor things was fucking weird, why'd they do that? And neither Steve or Diana seem concerned with about this random guy's fate. I'd probably rate this film higher if they had Steve simply appear out of thin air, I mean why not? It's magic. But I loved Kristen Wig and Pedro Pascal in this. Pedro is performing with his whole body, did he film this after season 1 of the Mandolorian? Maybe being under that helmet for a season made him want to be really expressive. The films overall kinda campy but I didn't necessarily mind that.

48. Peninsula

Sequel to the already classic Train to Busan, this film decides the up the scale, which is what sequels often do, but I think it was a mistake in this instance. This is more of an over the top action movie than a character-driven horror film like the first. There's a climactic Mad Max-esque car chase scene that is almost entirely CGI. I don't think it was a bad movie, it's an okay popcorn flick, but it definitely doesn't live up to the original.

47. The Old Guard

In terms of action I don't think it did anything interesting, but I like how they explored how horrific and heartbreaking it would be to be immortal. Coming to terms with your own mortality is a tough thing to do, but we often don't consider the idea that death is a blessing we take for granted.

46. Sputnik

A Russian sci-fi thriller about a young doctor being tasked with trying to figure out how to separate an alien parasite from a Cosmonaut that's returned from earth. Good performances, creepy vibe, and lots of interesting questions about ethics. It has a sort of epilogue ending with a reveal I didn't quite understand the significance to the story, but didn't take away from either. Solid.

45. The Invisible Man

Fun sci-fi thriller about toxic abusive relationships and gaslighting. Elizabeth Moss is great in it and my favorite sequences are before her character actually catches on and you have moments where the camera is just focusing on a random place, very creepy and effective.

44. Sonic the Hedgehog

Personally I would've preferred a fully animated film taking place in Sonic's world. I don't know why they always feel like they need to make these movies about human characters and then spend a lot of time having to hide your CG character and having people do comical reactions to them. It feels very played out to me. BUT Jim Carrey is great in this, of course. Jim Carrey is the reason to watch this movie. He makes the movie. And it goes without saying thank God they changed that character design.

43. 2067

What I liked about this dystopian future is that the cause was basically everything. War, famine, ruining the environment, pandemics, just all our collective fuckery has resulted in a world where the human race is on the verge of extinction, plants are extinct, and oxygen is synthetic. Enter time travel, a young man is tasked with traveling into the future to bring back the solution to saving the human race. Very timely obviously. I liked it.

42. Monsters of Man

Some asshole tech bros let some killer robots loose on a remote southeast asian village as a trial run. It has lots of flaws but I give it some leeway because this is the first film of a guy who wrote, directed and was the cinematographer by himself, he didn't have a huge budget or much experience, so it's hard to expect perfection. My biggest criticism is that the film centers a white guy living in this village and some westerner medics, not the actual Asian people of the village. Could've been so much more of interesting commentary about racism and eurocentrism dropping these robots in a village of brown people no one will miss just for practice. That aside though I think it was a solid enough thriller and the robots looked pretty good.

41. Family Romance LLC

An interesting movie about a Japanese entrepreneur who has a business where he'll play whatever role in your life you need. Father, husband, coworker, etc there's a scene where someone even pays him to be scolded in his place by his boss. The main thrust of the film though is him playing the role of a girl's absentee father, pretends to reconnect with her and take her out on the town for activities. It's shot very documentary style, and there are a mixture of first time actors and non-actors. Sometimes there are long awkward conversations that feel just as awkward as real life. I really liked the premise, and the only thing that keeps it from being higher on my list is it doesn't have a strong enough conflict nor does it really have a satisfying conclusion.

40. Over the Moon

Directorial debut of animation legend Glen Keane, I really liked this visually. It was sufficiently enjoyable, but it doesn't have that emotional gut punch that Pixar or Disney films tend to have. But I guess cartoons don't NEED to make you bawl your eyes out to be good. I think there were some missed opportunities narratively, like I guess this is spoilery so just scroll ahead if you don't want to know, but she gains a step brother that she doesn't like and doesn't want to spend time with, once the adventure starts on the Moon they get separated very early on, and don't ge reunited until towards the end, but she somehow now cares about him and considers him her brother. I didn't feel like that was really earned, they should've been together throughout the adventure getting to know each other. But I otherwise liked the story aside from that nitpick. Loved the colors of this movie, almost everything in the moon world is luminescent which provides some nice visuals. Hope to see Glen direct more in the future.

39. The Croods 2

Nothing revolutionary but it has some solid physical comedy and great voice acting. All of Nicolas Cage's overacting is perfect for animation, and I liked Peter Dinklage as Mr. Betterman as well. There's a lot going on thematically but it all works pretty cohesively.

38. #ALIVE

Another Korean zombie thriller. I really liked this because I felt like as far as zombie outbreaks go this is the most realistic scenario. Once you realize what's going on you will just stay in your house rather than risk going outside and fighting zombies. But that poses the problem of a limited supply of food and water. The main thrust of the movie is not how this character survives though it's about him trying to retain his will to live. It's the perfect pandemic isolation allegory.

37. Love and Monsters

It looked kinda corny but I actually enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I like Dylan O'Brien, I love Tom Holland as Peter Parker but I've always felt like Dylan O'Brien would've been a great choice too, he has a good everyman relatable quality. There's also a dog in the movie that I loved. Put a dog in peril in a movie and I will be on the edge of my seat guaranteed. It's a fun movie with some interesting creatures in it and a solid character arc for our main protagonist.

36. Extraction

I love the trend of stunt coordinators directing films. That's the main reason why the John Wick series is so good, and the reason why this also has some very solid action. Nothing crazy here in terms of story or themes, everything is an excuse for Chris Hemsworth to fuck people up and it delivers on that. There's one scene where he slaps around some kids attacking him that I found hilarious as well. Fully welcoming an Extraction 2.

35. Save Yourselves

A couple decides to take a break from social media and get away to a cabin outside the city. While they're disconnected from the world an alien invasion occurs, furry little basketball sized poofs. This movie was pretty funny. I'm a little ambivalent about the ending but I enjoyed these hipsters arguing about what to do about aliens.

34. Bill and Ted Face the Music

A most bodacious movie. Fun gags and a robot that steals the show. It's not as good as the first 2 but I don't think that's any surprise. I think it borrows a little bit too much from the previous films, like the collecting legendary musicians thing, could've done without that. It was a fun movie though, and the daughters really worked.

33. An American Pickle

Seth Rogen playing an orthodox Jew who's been preserved in pickle juice for 100 years and his modern day app developer grandson. I think this may be Seth Rogen's best acting role, as silly as this movie is he's kind of endearing as this character from 100 years aro, and as the grandson he's a lot more understated than he usually is in movies.

32. Tenet

Tenet! Is it controversial that this is not higher up on the list? I really like Nolan's films, actually been a fan since watching his first film Following in a film class. Nolan likes playing with time in his movies so it was inevitable that he'd do something that addresses it very directly eventually. I love the time travel genre and I think this is one of the most ambitious and unique approaches to it to ever done. I actually braved theaters to see this because I did not want to miss the opportunity to see it on the big screen. I did it as safely as possible and booked a reserved seating theater where I knew I wouldn't be sitting by anyone, had a mask, gloves, antibacterial gell on deck, sanitized my seat with wipes, etc, there only 2 other people in the theater all of us sitting way for from each other. Weirdest moviegoing experience I've ever had but glad I saw it on the big screen because the visual spectacle of this is excellent. The reason it's not higher on the list is because as conceptually cool as it is as I did not feel invested. Just on a story level having a character we know very little about pursuing a goal he knows very little about for no clearly defined reason makes it feel like... we're just watching events unfold as opposed to watching a character-driven story. There's a moment at the end that you can tell was meant to be an emotional moment, but I felt nothing. They try to introduce some emotional stakes with the female character, but idk, since it wasn't tied to the inciting incident it felt more like a b-plot than fundamental to the story. So it was a really fun cool looking puzzle, more like watching a cool Rube Goldberg machine, but not something I really thought much about after it was over.

31. Guns Akimbo

I really have been enjoying Daniel Radcliffe's post-Harry Potter career, he'll do some solid dramas he seems to prefer doing fun weird shit like Swiss Army Man, Horns, his role on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, etc. This is in that vein of fun weird shit, a guy who gets guns bolted to his hands and is running around the city in a robe trying to survive essentially a real life video game. A lot of the movies lower on this list had fun concepts but were lacking in execution, but this is one that is just as fun as the idea sounds, even more fun actually, it's funny, the action is good, and there are some great visuals. I found it all around enjoyable.

30. Let Them All Talk

Glen Close as a celebrated author who invites her nephew and 2 estranged best friends on a cruise with her. It's a very light-hearted movie with some underlying conflicts that the characters are afraid to address head on. Glen Close is great, obviously, she plays this pretentious self-important woman with affectations but is still likable and warm. It's a fairly pleasant almost slice-of-life until the 3rd act where everything comes together. To me it was a movie about communication, saying what you mean, saying what you feel, and those unspoken assumptions of what those around you are thinking or feeling about you. I know I can relate to the idea of wanting an apology from someone who might not even be cognizant of the fact that you feel slighted by them, or vice versa finding out someone's had a long standing problem with you when you thought you were cool. One sided grudges do no one any good.

29. True History of the Kelly Gang

I've heard of Ned Kelly, but I've never seen the Heath Ledge or Mick Jagger movies about him and I don't know much about him other than he's a famous Australian outlaw and something of a folk hero to some. The performances and cinematography if this are great. George MacKay from 1917 is the lead and he's amazing, sometimes vulnerable and soft, other times a madman. It spends a lot of time in his childhood and the child actor who plays Ned is great as well. It's gritty and sometimes surreal in it's imagery. From what I can gather previous films seemed to focus more on what happened with him and his gang, while this movie seems to focuses more on everything in his life that led up to him becoming who he is and forming that gang. Like a 3rd of the movie is spent in his childhood, and once the gang is actually formed things move at a pretty brisk pace, seemingly skimming over the exploits of the gang to the conclusion. The film feels very raw and gritty and very fuck the police which I always appreciate.

28. Lucky Grandma

A stubborn grandma in New York's chinatown gets her fortunte read and is told that she's going to be very lucky and come into a fortune, she then comes into possession of a bunch of money that belongs to a gang and she decides to try to keep it feeling it's owed to her by the universe. A funny crime drama with the unlikeliest of protagonists.

27. Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee is an icon but he can honestly be a little hit or miss for me. I don't always enjoy every choice he makes, for instance he uses real footage of war attrocities in this, and it's really upsetting to see REAL people, including children, be killed, when you're not expecting that. I understand it's meant to be upsetting, but it does make the movie something I'll probably never rewatch. Spike Lee's films to me can also feel at times heightened to the point that it feels a little cheesy (Miracle At St Anna), and there moments in this that kinda took me out of it to be honest, but overall I enjoyed it. The performances were great, Delroy Lindo in my opinion is one of the most underrated actors of all time, he's just always good no matter what he's in, everyone else in it is good too, but of course I have to mention Chadwick Boseman who was great. At the end of the day it gave me a lot to think about in terms or race, war, America, forgiveness, trauma and so many other things.

26. The Devil All The Time

There's a LOT going on in this movie, maybe a little too much, it's like 2 or 3 movies smashed into one, but... I really liked it, and that's probably because Tom Holland is so good in it. Really liked Robert Pattinson in it too. I can’t really think of more to say about it say I won’t. Next movie.

25. Bad Education

A true crime movie about school district officiala who stole from the budget of a highschool. Hugh Jackman is great in this. I loved Jackman as Wolverine, but now that he's done with that I'm excited to see him other stuff cause he's always interesting to watch; The Fountain, Prisoners, The Prestige, he's always solid. I enjoyed this, it was done with nuance, it doesn't let them off the hook for what they did but it doesn't paint them as absolute monsters either. I really have to ask myself, if I could get away with stealing money that no one would miss... I don't know, I think I'd not do it out of fear not altruism, lol.

24. My Octopus Teacher

This is a documentary on Netflix about a diver who immerses himself in the world of underwater life and documents the life of an octopus. It's really beautiful, both in terms of visuals and in content. There's not a lot to talk about because it's fairly straightforward, but it was really fascinating to learn about this octopus and see the bond they mutually formed, and again I can't talk about how great this movie looks, it's like you're in a different world. This is something I could put in and mute while I draw just for the ambiance.

23. Kajillionaire

A quirky dramedy about a family of really obtuse poor scam artists. As absurd as their behaviour is I can totally imagine a trio of weirdos like this living in Los Angeles ( I can say that cause it's my hometown and where I lived most of my life. It's Evan Rachel Wood's best role, I never would've imagined her doing something like this but she's great as "Old Dolio". It's funny, at time sad but not in a hammy melodramatic way, and I feel it had the perfect ending.

22. The Gentleman

Guy Ritchie doing what he does best. It's fun, stylish, witty, has layers and twists and reveals. Everybody's good in it. It doesn't have anything poignant to say, but it's fun to watch the entire time

21. Run

A thriller about a wheelchair bound teen who suspects her mother is drugging her and tries to get to the bottom of it. You can tell this director is a Hitchcock fan because it definitely has that Rear Window vibe but takes it a step further, and in many ways it's even shot and paced like Hitchcock. The lead actress is actually wheelchair bound herself so it really adds to the realism of all the things she does in this film. Oh, and Sarah Paulson is the mom, when is Sarah Paulson ever not good?

20. Horse Girl

Alison Brie is an awkward neurotic woman getting over recent grief and a history of mental illness in her family, she starts to have weird dreams and then notices people from her dreams in real life, starts blacking out and having gaps in time, and starts to believe it's due to alien abduction conspiracy. Is she losing her mind or is it really happening? Alison Brie is really really good in this, and she co-wrote it too, it has a lot of moments where you really feel sorry for her or scared for her and you start to question what's real yourself.

19. Swallow

I found this movie really fascinating, it's like what if you turned one of those My Strange Addiction episodes on TLC into a movie. It's about this woman who ostensibly, at least from appearances, has the perfect life (at least by societal standards), she came from nothing and is now housewife to a rich successful man, and behaves almost like a Stepford wife. Then develops a compulsion to swallow inedible things, like marbles and batteries and thumbtacks, which is a real condition called pica. Its the kind of movie that gives you a lot to think about but no easy answers.

18. Time to Hunt

A Korean heist thriller set in the near future. A bunch of childhood friends rob the wrong person and have an Anton Chigurh-esque killer sent after them to retrieve the money and kill them. It's a really tense cat and mouse thriller with good performances. The ending seemed to turn a lot of people off based on a lot of youtube comments I read, but I didn't mind it. My only real gripe is that they set this in the near future but aside from some imagery in the beginning it doesn't seem to come into play that much, this all could've taken place in modern day or even the past with no alteration of the story. I think the future setting was more just for some social commentary that maybe went over my head a little bit because I'm not from Korea, but I think if they were going to do near future they could've added some futuristic weapons or something. But that's just nitpicking, while the future setting didn't add to the story much it didn't take away from it either.

17. Tigertail

As I get older one of my worse fears is making decisions that I will regret for the rest of my life, so this movie really hit home as a cautionary tale. It's a kind of quietly devastating movie. There's no huge tragic horrific even, just a huge miscalculation. Decades of your life of work and unhappiness go by and all you can do is wonder what things could've been. I also especially appreciated the cinematography and music of this film.

16. Mother

It's been a while since I hated a character this much, but this titular mother really pissed me off. She's a neglectful mother who only sees her son as a tool, but he sticks by her cause he loves her. It's definitely not a fun movie to watch, but it made me feel a lot and meditate on the idea of love and whether it in itself has innate value.

15. Call

I went into this movie cold, having no idea what it was really about other than that it was a thriller that revolved around a woman getting mysterious calls. I'm glad I had seen no trailers and did not know the gist of the plot becuase it went places I really was not expecting. One of the most fun thrillers I've seen in a while. So, I'm not going to talk about the movie but what I will say is that Jeon Jong-seo, who played the woman in Burning is in this, she was great in Burning and she's great in this. After watching it I googled her to see what else she's been in that I can watch and this is only her 2nd film. Apparently Burning was her first audition EVER and she BOOKED IT! Like, one a million success story right? But she deserves it cause she's great and I look forward to seeing what else she does.

14. Possessor

This was directed by Brandon Cronenberg, the son of David Cronenberg, big shoes to fill, and I think he's going to fill them fine cause this is already a cult classic in my opinion. The visuals in this, which look like they were mainly created with practical and in camera effects. There is some very graphic very realistic violence in this. The movie is about an assassin who works for an organization and uses some type of scientific process to "possess" people to carry out hits. When she's in a body for too long who's in control starts to blur. It's really fucking trippy, like a fucked up Black Mirror episode.

13. Borat 2

Been a fan of Sacha since the old Da Ali G Show days when Borat was just a side character. I'm amazed with out Sacha can stay in character the way he does, especially when later on in the movie he shelters in place with some Qanon conservatives with who knows how long staying in character. Maybe they'll reveal they were paid actors who knows, but whatever I fucking laughed a lot at this movie. There's a black woman in this movie that I hope to god was not an actress cause I loved her and her reactions so much. It was a breath of fresh air to watch something that's just goofy in 2020 because it wasn't a good year for comedy. As much as I love film sometimes I got a little fatigue from watching so many things with very heavy themes, this also had heavy themes it was satirizing, but also chimp pornstar jokes, so.. a fun time.

12. A Sun

A drama about a family's eldest son going to juvenile detention for his involvement in a violent crime. We see how his father, his mother, his brother and his pregnant girlfriend all deal with this. I found it very engaging. My only gripe is that there are some moments of levity where they use this really generic comedy music score it and it really takes you out of the film. No music at all is better than bad generic music. Other than that I really loved it and the ending is great. I really thought this would end up in my top 10 but the following films just had more personal relevance or were more fun to watch.

11. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

R.I.P. Chadwick Boseman, this movie is like an acting showcase for him, he has so many great monologues here, the ending really took the wind out of me. It's also packed with really still relevant commentary on race.

10. Onward

You already expect a Pixar movie to make you cry, but this came from angle I was NOT expecting and I bawled hard at this. This movie was so applicable to my life experience it's like they specifically engineered it to make me personally cry. Honestly there are better movies lower on this list, but movies are just like any other art, when a song touches you on a personal level it doesn't need to have complex instrumentation cause it's how it made you feel that matters.

09. Palm Springs

A comedy released during a pandemic about trying to find stimulation and meaning when every day is the same thing? Ya don't say! Another take on Groundhog Day, which at this point I feel like it's its on genre with the amount of times the concept has been done, but I'm not complaining, I typically enjoy a good time loop movie (or show; Russian Doll). I don't know what else to say besides that it's really funny and Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti are both charming and great in it.

08. Scare Me

This movie was funny, creepy, the performances were great, and it's just really unique and clever. Written, directed, produced, and starring Josh Ruben, who I know primarily does really idiosyncratic "impressions" on instagram. It's 2 people alone in a cabin telling each other scary stories, they don't cut away to the stories you just watch them act it out. 4 people in the cast, one location, and it still manages to be a fun ride of a movie and manages to touch on some good themes in the overall story. I really hope to see Josh Ruben direct more films because I think he's really creative.

07. Ride Your Wave

A romantic comedy about a woman trying to find joy and purpose in her life. I often go into movies very cold, so I didn't know much about what this movie was about, just knew that it was from an animation studio and director that I really respected. It's very beautiful, very grounded, until it's not. Kind of movie that breaks your heart so it can uplift you later.

06. Uncle Frank

I really did not expect a lot from movie, not that I thought it would be bad, I just thought it be your middle of the road movie. It's about a teenage girl who really looks up to her uncle who she learns is a closeted gay man, in an era where that was potentially dangerous to be. They go on a road trip home when his father dies and learn about each other and themselves, it sounds kinda cookie cutter, but it really surprised me. Paul Bettany is so very good in this, and it made me cry. Easy way to get on high on this list is to make me cry lol.

05. Children of the Sea

This film had to be in my top 5 because I'm an animation nerd and this is one of the most beautiful animated films ever. Ever. It's right up there with Akira and the Ghibli catalogue, and the works of Satoshi Kon, and all the Disney movies and everything else. It focuses on details and nuances in a really gorgeous way. The story is VERY ambiguous and gets very metaphysical towards the end, the climax is like watching an acid trip. It's about a girl who meet 2 young boys who have adapted to living underwater, and they form a bond, and then... uh... there's no way I can concisely explain it. The creator has said it's not supposed to be understood logical, instead it's supposed to be felt. There's a lot of symbolism and metaphor, it's very philosophical and explores themes of connection and the cycle of life. It's produced by Studio 4°C, which is my favorite animation studio because they really push the envelope, they're responsible for Mind Game, Tekkonkinkreet, and the recent Mutafukaz, and other, if you've never heard of any of those definitely look them up, they're unlike any anime you've ever watched before. Anyway, beautiful movie and the cryptic plot allows for you to rewatch it multiple times and take different things away from it. I can't wait to own it on blu-ray.

04. 37 Seconds

I saw this very early in the year and love it. It's about a young woman with cerebal palsy who is also an aspiring hentai artist trying to get laid. Her mother who takes care of her like a child smothers her, so it's not only about trying to get laid but trying to have some independence. Firstly the performance of this woman who actually does have cerebral palsy and is a first time actor is so natural and endearing, secondly there are things they portray with an uncomfortable amount of realism and awkwardness that it really draws you in to the nitty gritty of her reality and what it can be like for someone who is wheelchair bound to try to have sexual experiences. I like that there were 2 films this year about characters in wheelchairs that used unknown actresses that face the same things their characters do, it adds to the authenticity of either film. Films like this are why I think diversity in film is not just about doing something for the demographic you're depicting but also giving everyone else not of that demographic new unique stories and perspectives.

03. Soul

I guess spoilers if you haven't seen this because it's easier to talk about why I liked it if I talk specifically about the plot. I wasn't expecting much from this when the initial trailer dropped, it made it seem like it was going to largely take place in this imaginary soul place with these blue things, and for most of the first act it seemed like that's what it was going to be, but when they come back to earth and the story really starts I really started enjoying it. This movie tricks you into thinking the film is about finding or fulfilling your purpose, only to throw a curveball that living life in and of itself is the "purpose", and this movie resonated so much with thoughts that were already on my mind. I relate so much to Joe as a creative person myself with so many unfulfilled dreams, at 36yrs old, having to put many of my goals on the backburner just to survive, and generally having that feeling that I'm still waiting to live life because I'm not fulfilling my "purpose". Sure reaching for goals is great, but I think our culture breeds this idea that happiness is a destination, an accomplishment, a certain amount of recognition, a monetization of your passion. I really loved how the film depicted that there's a dark side to focusing on your passions and how it can become a source of stress and unhappiness. This movie is just about savoring life itself, which people have been expressing through platitudes since forever but this film illustrated it in a way that words fail at, and that's what makes film such a great form of art.

02. Sound of Metal

This movie had one of the best trailers of 2020, I couldn't wait to watch this movie. FIrst of all I love RIz Ahmed and think he's an underrated and underutilized actor, he's fucking amazing in this, he needs an Oscar nom FOR SURE. His frustration is so palpable and he feels so natural in this movie. It follows a metal punk drummer who loses his hearing and goes to stay in a deaf community to acclimate. One thing I think is absolutely brilliant about this movie is the sound design. I'm not deaf so I can't speak from any type of experience, but they try to replicate what going deaf sounds like, what the audiologist tests sound like, what hearing aids and cochlear implants sound like, it's very immersive. I almost think of it like a companion piece to Soul, cause I had almost the same take away, it's just coming from it at a different angle.

01. I'm Thinking Of Ending Things

Okay, so I’m going to have a lot to say about this movie.

Maybe a very controversial pick for my number one because so many people absolutely hated this movie, lol. I am biased given that I'm a huge fan of Charlie Kaufman, he's my favorite screenwriter, and his films have only gotten weirder and weirder, so I know to expect the unexpected when going into one of his films. I can understand how this would be an offputting experience if you're expecting the conventions of normal narrative structure. It was surprising and perplexing to me how this film unfolded but I've watched non-narrative and experimental films before so I was intrigued rather than frustrated. You think it's about a woman who is thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend as they head to meet his parents. Once we get to his childhood home things start getting surreal, and that surrealism just escalates to the point where you realize this film is not at all attempting to depict reality and doesn't even have any continuity. This is the most a movie has ever felt like one of my dreams. I don't know how other people dream but this was so much like every weird nightmare I've ever had where I feel trapped in a situation.

There's a scene where the family is talking about art, the dad says he hates abstract art because it takes no skill, he prefers paintings that look like photographs because that takes real skill, the son asks why make a painting look like a photograph when you can just take a photograph, the woman states she paints pictures of landscapes and tries to imbue them with a sense of interiority, capturing the way she feels, the dad asks how can a landscape be sad if you don't have a person in it looking sad. I felt like this was a bit of meta commentary on the film itself. After I watched this movies I had my own theories, I watched some analysis videos on youtube that confirmed a lot of my ideas and gave me insight on other parts of the film, I watched the film again and formulated more ideas, it's so dense with things to project meaning onto and interpret it. I went on instagram and ended up having lengthy discussions about what the film meant both with people who loved it and hated it. Everybody I spoke with had slightly different interpretations and takeaways. One woman who initially did not like it came away with an appreciation for it after we had a lengthy discussion about it's meaning.

All of this is why it's my favorite film of the year, not only did I relate to it on a personal level because I'm in a stage of my life where I'm approaching middle ages and afraid I'm going to end up like the guy in this film, but I can't remember the last time a film led to such meaningful conversation about life, death, love, mental health, loneliness, trauma, etc. So like the scene where they're talking about art, I think this movie is neither intended to be abstract or realistic, it's supposed to be imbued with a sense of interiority. I know I sound way pretentious right now, but I just really appreciated Charlie Kaufman for making something unabashedly expressionist and serving it up to mainstream audiences. I really feel like I grow as a person and an artist every time I watch one of his films.

------------------------------------------------

So there ya go. That’s it. That concludes this arbitrary exercise in ranking the movies i saw last year, thank you for wasting your time on this, lol. I think it was a very good year for movies.

If there was a movie you were expecting to see on the list and it’s missing I just didn’t get to it in 2020, I may do an unranked follow up list of 2020 movies I missed in 2020, maybe.

That’s it.

End of post.

Bye.

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yentotajaan · 4 years

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Headaches

(Some events may be slightly out of order but that shouldn’t matter in this case)

Children. Yen’to was surrounded by overgrown children. He slammed the door to his private room so hard that two of the paintings tilted off-balance and threatened to fall down. Apparently he was one of few at the tea house who took his job seriously. Yen’to harrumphed as he collapsed onto the sofa, and stared up at the ceiling. He now understood that the guests were not the problem. Security.... hmph. I must have misunderstood the job description, since the real danger is in protecting the staff from each other.

Perhaps one day, he will remember not to judge how easy a shift will be by how it starts. Once again, Yen’to had arrived during a quiet period, with only a handful of guests present. The kitchen was currently catching up on orders rather than taking in new ones. Noriaki and Thalia were the greeters instead of Lady Faye - she must have been occupied elsewhere. Yen’to exchanged pleasantries, since he always tried to at least start out polite. Thalia was not being a brat for once, and he quickly took up his usual post near the kitchen. Tonight is going to be a good night, I can feel it.

Yen’to had opted for a change in uniform, something a little fancier than previous outfits. However, he still incorporated armored gauntlets and greaves, and his tunic was padded and included metal pauldrons. Functional enough, and it shouldn’t come across as overbearing for the setting he worked in. A feathered beret topped off the ensemble. The large axe that completed the uniform conveyed that he meant business, or at least he hoped so. Although punching someone with these gauntlets would be almost as effective, I think.

It was not long before the ran into problem #1. A loud clang arose from the kitchen, followed by a colorful string of expletives which caught his attention more so than the noise. Upon arriving at the scene, Yen’to found Drake doubled over and cradling his hand. Through clenched teeth he explained that his skin was practically melting off from touching the cake pan with bare skin after taking it out of the oven. Yen’to eyed Drake skeptically as various thoughts popped into his head. Looks pretty fine to me, I can’t even tell where the burn is. What was that old culinarian saying? If you can not take the heat, stay out of the kitchen? ...Probably should not tell him that.

Drakes’s sarcastic replies to Yen’to’s statements of the obvious were likely just his coping mechanism, but put him in a bad mood nonetheless. It took several follow up pleas from Drake before Yen’to finally agreed to cut the cake and bring out the order. I was not hired for this, but I also do not want unhappy customers who do not return. No customers, no profit. Yen’to figured Drake would owe him later, anyway. He did mention testing a new fish dish earlier that set his mouth watering in anticipation.

Next came the worst disappointment of the night and problem #2. The deranged and delusional rolanberry of a Hyur just arrived- Elyn was starting her shift. She spent a sickening amount of time chatting up and flattering Lady Faye, who had since resumed greeting guests. Faye seemed to be taking the compliments evenly, as expected, and did not give much of a reaction. The picture of poise, unlike certain others who seem to be over-compensating for their shortcomings. If the rolanberry’s words were any more honeyed we could use those as toppings instead.

Problem #3 soon followed. Haruhi Puma, the one who tested the weapons policy and his patience last time he saw her. What gods had Yen’to angered? She was perhaps more playful than mischievous, but did little to dispel his prejudice against miqo’te Seekers. She gave him a salute for some reason, and eyed his hat for far too many moments for his liking before taking a seat. The hat soon became an obsession for her throughout the night, boggling Yen’to to no end. He was well aware it offered no protection. He would rather not wear a stuffy and imposing helmet unless he had to. Brat. Yen’to was far from reassured when she claimed he needed a good bar brawl to truly break him in. Then again, perhaps I should wear my helmet next time, just in case. ...Or even my plate-mail.

At this point, irritations just kept flowing like a burst dam and Yen’to stopped keeping count. The tension in the kitchen had became so thick one could cut it with the knife that was used on the cake. Drake, Elyn, and a woman apparently named Charlotte began trading barbs sharp enough to cut skysteel. Something about Drake pushing Charlotte, then Charlotte lashing back at Drake. Do they realize customers can overhear them, and... wait... Drake has a rash? How do they know that anyway? Considering how he flirts I suppose I should not be surprised.

With a raised brow, Yen’to watched as Faye approached the kitchen with a determined look on her face. This would not end well. She called the three all by name and took them into the back of the kitchen. Yen’to did not have the chance to listen in since his worst nightmare was suddenly thrust upon him - being forced to interact with guests. He suppressed a growing sense of panic and greeted the newcomers with a bow, then directed them to the counter to begin handing out menus.

For some reason, Elyn escaped the noose and was soon able to take over. She is as slippery as a snake, that one. Oh well, not my problem now. Yen’to could now hear Drake and Charlotte, and it seemed that getting them to apologize to each other was going about as well as persuading a fish to walk on land. Lady Faye was firm, though, and everyone was soon back to working together without having to scrub down the chocobo stables with their tongues. Well, at least physically work together if not in spirit. I am glad to see Lady Faye is observant enough to have realized I had nothing to do with their shenanigans. They got off too lightly, though, hmph.

Their antics also frustrated Noriaki, so far the only co-worker he would consider something of a friend. Competent and professional, at least when not handling the gil register. And apparently capable of speaking to... spiritually possessed automatons... or mammets? A... thing in badly worn-out Doman armor had come in shortly before the arguments- it had no true face and barely spoke Eorzean. But it could speak Hingan fluently, or was that Doman?, and Nori was able to converse with it. Yen’to never did learn what they talked about, but Nori was mortified at the behavior and attitude of his fellow “professionals” who had just received a stern lecture. Hopefully it enjoyed the tea and will not hold their behavior against us. Wait, how does something with no mouth drink tea...? Where did the tea -go-?

Tired, and with the situation now mostly peaceful, Yen’to went over to inform Lady Faye that he was retiring to his room. Such a desire must have apparently been akin to spitting in the goddess Nymeia’s face and defying fate. The guest who just arrived was absent minded and had forgotten to disarm. She complied somewhat reluctantly once Yen’to quickly reminded her, but the real trouble was Drake. For some reason, he became desperate to handle her sword. What came next was a rare occurrence, and reflecting on it caused Yen’to a small amount of shame - he lost his temper and angrily yelled to Drake’s face before stalking off to place the sword safely in the cabinet. I am not handing over someone else’s weapon without their permission, and he would probably just cut his own arm off anyway or put someone’s eye out. It was surely just part of some convoluted scheme to impress the lady.

After several more pointed reminders to Drake, Yen’to finally headed off to his room, now firmly in a sour mood. He had two main thoughts as he fumed on his way to his room: Is it finally time to ask for a pay raise? ...Oh, I am probably not getting that fish meal now.

@tea-ffxiv @hingashiunderworld @miragediver @galbana-lily

#FFXIV #tea-ffxiv #job security #hilarity ensues #balmung

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abarbaricyalp · 6 years

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Sierra Burgess is a Bisexual

Proof:

This entire scene is shot in lesbian pride flag colors, with the occasional blue and purple hue shifting it to the bi-pride flag colors.

We know this color scheme was added into this scene because none of the other bedroom scenes are bathed in the same light, suggesting that as Sierra and Ronnie get closer, wlw themes become more prevalent.

Bi-pride colors again! This time while she’s looking at who I’ll postulate would be the two main love interests, Jamey and Ronnie. She also panics in this scene when she sees them together (bi mood of the month) and refuses to break them up. (Possibly because that would mean she no longer has a reason to hang out with Ronnie??? My dumb bi ass has worked on a project longer just to hang out with a girl)

In that same scene, upon looking at both of them, the decoration on the wall also seems to be a combination of the ‘male’ and ‘female’ symbols (without the pointed heads).

IDK if it’s a universal bi experience or just me, but I will take every opportunity to deny being “gay” or a “lesbian” if I don’t want to be out to someone, because I’m not gay or a lesbian. I’m bi. I got heavy notes of that every time Sierra rejected ideas that she was gay. She never says she doesn’t like girls, just that she’s not gay. Which is interesting.

Also interesting, Ronnie doesn’t say she wouldn’t “les out” with Sierra, just not Sierra and Jamey. Not wanting to be part of a threesome with two people you think are straight is also a heavy bi mood of the month.

(Also, spot more of that bi lighting. It truly is the year of bisexuals in bi lighting)

This whole scene? Gay. The softness? The closeness? The exchanging of clothes? The laughter? The song playing in the background? Full of wlw energy. Sierra and Ronnie were the queer couple we were denied of this year. I will die on this hill.

This should’ve been a kiss, dammit! I have never seen a more tender moment between two people! The eye acting! The raw emotion! The silent conversation! It pans between them THREE (3) TIMES!!!! Again, we see Sierra having to choose between Jamey and Ronnie (like at the theater) and this time she chooses Ronnie! We don’t ever see her with Jamey again! My stupid bi heart burst at this scene. I love it so much!

THE SONG!

Supposedly this song is for Jamey, the romantic interest. It’s based on a line he says earlier in the movie (”You’d be a rose. The queen of all other flowers”) but this is another instance where we never see Jamey and Sierra interact. It’s Ronnie who listens to the song and who it affects.

Furthermore, Jamey’s reaction that we get to the song is him bringing Sierra is sunflower for the dance (heart eyes emoji, motherfucker) but Ronnie also wears flowers afterwards, which we only see when she’s with Sierra.

(Spot that ring! Not a sunflower, but a daisy, which is as humble as the sunflower)

More on the song? It’s co-written by at least three queer artists: Troye Sivan, Allie-X (who was touring with Hayley Kiyoko earlier in the year. I got to see them. It was awesome), and Leland.

Let’s look at my fave lyrics:

The beginning of Sierra and Ronnie’s relationship is tumultuous because Ronnie doesn’t want to be seen with Sierra because she’s a ‘loser’. While this is supposedly only supposed to be speaking to Jayme’s interest in popular girls, I mean, it could be speaking to Ronnie’s interest in popular girls too. Since Ronnie is the first to listen to it and all. We also only see Sierra changing her appearance (and not much! My fave part of the movie is that she doesn’t have to change to get the guy!) when Ronnie asks her to (the eyebrow plucking. Literally, that’s it. But still, the song mentions transformation.)

Speaking of transformation! The biggest transformation comes from Ronnie changing from a shallow, image obsessed mean girl, blossoming into the kind hearted, funny, intelligent soul that she is under all the hurt. IDK, I just thought it was worth mentioning. I love this song. I love these characters.

One last thing on the song:

Him or Her!!!! Sierra’s English teacher is the coolest, most with it character in the whole movie (and isn’t that true of real life English teachers, right?) and she can imagine Sierra being in love with a girl.

Not to mention, the way Sierra’s ‘masculinity’ and ‘ugliness’ is not only addressed, but accepted by her gives me heavy dyke feelings (in the reclaimed connotation), as does her non-performance of traditional femininity in her presentation of self, particularly around other girls and women

Then she gets to have this kick ass line

Damn Sierra!!!

Not to mention the way she totally owns her voice (which is something I struggle with hard) TO THE BOY THAT SHE LIKES, I COULD NEVER

Also, can we talk about how Ronnie is leaving behind a version of herself that she learned wasn’t true over the course of her relationship with Sierra, as well as pursuing a passion she became aware of because of Sierra?

Because that shit is not subtle

All of this to say: Sierra Burgess,

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rmg91 · 5 years

Text

The Woes and Antics of Living Together-13

This chapter has emotions and I'm gonna say sorry now for what happens. Also I cried while writing said emotions and it's really hard to write when you yourself emotionally compromised XD I still hope you enjoy this though! (And don't worry, I don't end it on a bad note ;3 )

ALSO Just another big Thank you to all the lovely reviews you all have given this fic. It's means a lot to me!

Previous Chapter/Next Chapter; Ao3/FF.net

@writerofberk-FEEEELS in this chapter but also fluff.

@hair-in-the-air-....There may be some more couch cuddles in this X3

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Are you sure you don't want to come with me? It'll be fun~”

It was late one Thursday afternoon about two weeks post-Poppy tattoo and she was currently standing by her car having just tossed her bags inside. She was heading home to Trollington for the weekend to see her dad and to show off her tattoo in person, she might even go see a few of her other friends that stayed in town. She had a box of presents for her dad that she previously set in the car, alongside some new feather toys and treats for Fuzzbert. Branch honestly couldn't tell if she was more excited to see Peppy or her cat. However it really didn't matter at the moment as she was currently still trying to convince him to come with her.

Branch crossed his arms and shook his head, “Still no. I'm going to stay right here and you wanna know why?” He smirked at her, “Because with you gone it'll be quiet for once.”

Poppy gave him a look that was cross between a glare and a pout before sticking her tongue out at him, “Rude.”

Rolling his eyes, Branch crossed his arms, “Just make sure you have a full tank of gas on your out. I don't want to hear you got stuck on the side of the road. Do you know how dangerous that could be?!”

“It's a three hour drive, Branch. I'll be fine.” She hopped over and smiled up at him, “But I'll be sure to text you when I get there alongside everyone else. Try not to worry.”

Branch scoffed and turned his head away, he always worried it was practically his middle name.

Poppy giggled before suddenly springing a hug on him and squeezing him tightly, “Oooh~ I'll miss you! Try not to miss me too much!”

“Hey! Get off! Poppy!” He pushed her off with a glare, “What have I said about hugging?! And you'll be gone for like a day and a half, I'll hardly have time to appreciate you being gone let along do something crazy like miss you.”

“Sure, sure~” She sang before skipping back over to her car, “I'll text later and see you Sunday. Water the plant while I gone~!”

Branch rolled his eyes again and waved halfheartedly at her as she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Sticking his hands in his pockets, he started wandering back to the apartment wondering what he could do without the having the constant whirlwind there. Maybe he'd actually have time to finish a book since she wouldn't be around to ask what he was reading or what was happening or just plain distracting him with the way her eyes sparkled with curiosity and the way she'd clasp her hands together as she begged him to tell her-He groaned. She hadn't even been gone five minutes and somehow was still distracting him. This was possibly gonna be a long weekend.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Early Sunday morning came and found Branch nursing a hot cup of black coffee as he sleepily read through some new theories on how anyone could be a sociopath. Saturday had been uneventful, just as he thought, without his crazy roommate around to cause havoc. Although after sometime the peace and quiet he had been craving since moving in had gotten a little too much even for him and he blamed Poppy for that. He had gotten use to the noise she made, singing, humming, crashing in through the door with some newest scheme and he was loathed to admit it, even to himself, that he missed her. Even having some of his own music tastes playing hadn't been that same comfort as it once had been.

Sighing, the raven haired man switched apps on his phone, wondering if maybe there was something new from the woodcarver he liked to watch on Youtube, only to find a brand new vlog by Poppy uploaded only five minutes ago. He would never admit it, especially to Poppy, but he did follow her and he actually liked seeing some of the things she got up to, mostly for her gorgeous smile and her unbridled joy at whatever it was she was doing. However he was surprised to see this new one up, titled 'Adventures in Troll Town', so soon, he would've thought she'd upload later after she was home.

Selecting the video, Branch waited for it to load and a stupid ad to pass before seeing what she had done yesterday.

“Hey there, my cupcakes~!” Poppy greeted cheerfully as she always did, grinning bright as she held the camera up to capture both her and Peppy in the lens, “It's ya girl, Poppy, here and I'm back in my hometown for the weekend to spend some time with my dear old dad!” She gestured to him as he grinned.

“Hello there, Internet people!” Peppy greeted, amber eyes he shared with Poppy twinkling with mischievousness and silver tinged red-orange hair still wildly untamed as Branch remembered. His mustache hadn't seemed to change either, still full and long, “It's great to have my little girl home again.”

“Aww, Dad~” Poppy cooed, side hugging him, “I'm happy to be back. And you all-” She said to the camera, “Stay tuned for all the adventures we'll be taking you on. Okay?”

Suddenly there was a loud meow and Poppy turned the focus on the bright orange, fluffy cat sitting on the table, green collar contrasting brightly. Poppy reached out and started petting it, causing a loud purr to emit from her pet, “And Fuzzbert says hello too~”

The scene then changed and Branch unconsciously smiled as he watched Poppy play with her cat with a feather toy, her tinkling laughter filtering through the phone's speakers. Fuzzbert jumped and leaped after the toy as Poppy flicked it away before suddenly grabbing it. Poppy tugged gently, Peppy's own laugh coming from behind the camera, before she let it go and the feline ran off with it. Branch couldn't help the chuckle as he listened to Poppy playfully act offended to Fuzzbert for running away before she took the camera back from her dad and made to transition to another scene.

“Hey all!” Poppy said brightly as she walked down the street, Peppy beside her, “We're here in downtown Trollington and it hasn't changed a bit!” She panned the camera around, showing off the brightly colored shops of downtown. Branch remembered walking down the street Poppy showed and thinking everyone needed to tone down their siding colors. He still thought that, some were just way too bright for his taste but his thoughts on that were interrupted as his roommate starting talking again, “I can't tell you all how much I've missed this place and everyone but I suppose that's for most people who move away from home, huh?” It wasn't for Branch, not really, Trollington hadn't been home for a long time. “Dad and I are actually heading to see some shops before stopping by our favorite cafe for lunch. And here's one now!”

She turned the camera to show the store front of 'Sky Toronto's Party Supplies' before Peppy opened the door for her. Inside were shelves full of streamers, balloons, plates, cups, napkins, table clothes, candy and other various things one might need for a party. It was indeed a place Poppy loved, especially the confetti aisle. Branch watched as she toured around, exchanging comments with her dad and laughter at his jokes and as she was greeted happily by the few other people inside with hugs and smiles. There was even a brief interaction with the stores owner, Sky Toronto himself, the straight laced, stoic man saying it had been awfully quiet without Poppy coming in all the time and how wonderful it had been.

After that there was a montage of Poppy and Peppy playing around in various other stores. Dress-up in the local costume shop, some window shopping, there was even some browsing at one of the thrift shops and Poppy finding some things she deemed treasures. Next they were entering a little cafe, decorated with floral décor and tasteful pictures of scenery and the family that ran the business. A red head stood at the counter, which held lots of yummy looking sweets and snacks and smiled brightly as Poppy and Peppy entered.

“Poppy!” She greeted joyfully, “Long time no see!”

“Hey, Mandy!” Poppy called back, “I'm here for the weekend. You don't mind if I film here do you?”

Mandy smiled, “Nah, go ahead. You want your usual?”

Poppy laughed as she and her dad started toward a table, “Yes, please! And whatever the special is today too~”

“You got it! And for you, Mayor Peppy?”

Peppy chuckled, “Surprise me!”

The local woman giggled and gave a thumbs up before making to gather the ordered food. Meanwhile the father and daughter duo sat down and Poppy adjusted her camera to stand on the table. The pinkette talked to both her dad and the camera as they waited for their food. Soon enough Mandy arrived carrying a tray full of delicious looking food. Poppy got a large glass of what looked like raspberry sprite and a plate of chicken salad, full of chicken, tomatoes, cheese and dressing. Peppy got large mug of coffee and a plate with a large turkey and bacon sandwich. After thanking Mandy, the two dug in.

As they ate, Poppy gushed about how good the food was before recommending that anyone should come and try it. After a little more conversation with her dad, she announced she'd be back after they ate.

The next scene had Poppy standing in the park's gazebo as she explained her dad had an emergence call to take care of so she was going to do something she hadn't had the chance to since moving. Bringing her old ukulele out from behind her back, she giggled before taking a seat and starting to strum a known and famous tune.

“I can show you the world~ Shining, shimmering, splendid,” Poppy's vibrant voice began filling the apartment and since she wasn't here, Branch allowed himself to get lost in it. He didn't actually hate it when she sang, he adored it really, it was sweet and melodious and had a strange way of calming him, at least when she sang more softer and calmly like she was now. But it was easier to tell her to stop than to let himself get pulled in and accidentally forgetting himself enough to let his true feelings for her show...or even worse, sing with her.

“A whole new world~” Poppy continued, “A new fantastic point of view. No one to tell us 'no', or where to go, or say we're only dreaming,” Branch could see she was starting to gain a small audience as she played, kids and adults alike stopping to listen to the mayor's daughter. A few kids even came to sit next to her, “That now I'm in a whole new with you~”

“Unbelievable sights! Indescribable feeling!” The kids started joining in. One of the little girls had her braided hair up in a ponytail, a gap in her teeth and headphones around her neck. The other had strawberry blonde hair in pigtails, glasses and was wearing a pair of lavender coveralls. The other kid, the only boy, had dark hair and purple shorts and was singing off key with everyone else.

“A whole new world! A hundred-thousand things to see~! I'm like a shooting start, I've come so far, can't go back to where I used to be~” The quartet sang, Poppy grinning at the kids before leaning over and rubbing noses with the headphone girl. That was when Branch realized that was probably the niece Suki was always gushing about. Soon enough the kids tapered off and let Poppy finish the song by herself.

“A world new world~ That's where we'll be~ A thrilling chase, a wondrous place~ For you and me~”

After she finished the last note, the kids promptly jumped on Poppy with happy cries, hugging her as she laughed and hugged them back, the rest of the audience chuckling and clapping at the scene. Poppy starting to talk to kids was the last thing heard before it was cut off and replaced with Poppy smiling at the camera, now in the kitchen at her childhood house.

“Dad and I are about to make some Meadows Family Specialty Chili and Cornbread. Mm-mmm~! I haven't had it forever and I can't wait!” She exclaimed, dancing in place as Peppy chuckled off camera.

“Well come help me so it'll get done sooner, since you're so eager,” He teased lightly, placing a pile of ingredients on the island counter, “You do remember the cornbread recipe, don't you?”

“Dad, please,” Poppy said, popping a hip out and waving her hand in the air, “I never forget a recipe. Especially one of Moms.”

Peppy chuckled again, “Just checking~”

The two started to work in tandem, Peppy starting to chop onions while Poppy began gathering together the things she needed. Taking a large bowl from the cupboard, she easily measured flour and cornmeal into the bowl before adding in a bit of sugar. She began to tell the story to the camera of how her mom had created the recipe to complement her dads chili since he had a tendency to make it a little spicy. Peppy laughed and replied he hadn't made it that spicy since he was first creating the recipe in the first place.

“Did I ever tell you the story of how I came up with this?” He asked, going over to cook the ground beef at the stove.

“Yes, Dad.” Poppy replied, rolling her eyes at the camera because she knew he'd tell they story anyway.

“I was entering a chili cook-off, The Great Chili Cook-off of 85', and I was determined to win. Now by the twentieth batch my best friend was sick of trying my experiments. Told me I had to find someone else to try it and that he would never touch of another bowl of chili in his life because of me. And he never did.”

Peppy continued his story, Poppy smiling happily as she mixed the batter and before the climax of the story could be told the screen went blank. Branch tilted his head and was about to poke his phone to see if it had died but then a sleepy, hair down, Poppy appeared on screen. She giggled tiredly before a large yawn came out of her mouth.

“Sorry about that, Cupcakes,” She said, “Camera battery died during that I didn't notice till now. Suffice to say the ending of Dad's story is since he added too many habanero peppers into the chili, Mom, who he'd only just met a week before, offered to make cornbread to help cut the spice of it. It soon became a tradition between them and the two dishes were never made without the other.” Another tired giggle escaped, “Dad actually stopped adding so many peppers about the time I came along. He still makes it a little spicy for my taste though.”

She yawned again before flashing a smile, “Anyway, I've got the rest of the video edited and ready to upload so you're probably already seeing this. Any morning fun Dad and I have will posted on my other social media.” She giggled once more, “Night, My Cupcakes~ Stay sweet.”

Then the video closed and the screen showed recommended video's for Branch, mostly more of Poppy's blogs, and he sighed before a large yawn ripped it's way out of his mouth. He supposed he should start brainstorming some ideas for dinner as she'd most likely be home sometime that afternoon. Draining the last of his coffee, Branch turned off his phone and got up to rinse his mug, while he had sort of enjoyed having the apartment to himself there was a part of him that was almost...eager to have Poppy home. Which was a new and funny feeling for Branch to have as he never thought, as much as he loved her, that he'd be eager for her wild and crazy antics.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was later in the afternoon than she'd thought she be home, that Poppy finally parked in her parking lot. She really hadn't wanted to leave but after her dad had reminded her college was important and that he was only a phone call away, she had hopped in the car. Well she hopped in after an extra long hug time with him and getting some extra cuddles from Fuzzbert. Then after a quick stop for some snacks, the pinkette had headed home to Bergenville.

Now back, Poppy stretched as she got out of her car before grabbing her bags and the thing she had for Branch. She had already texted the Pack, telling them she'd call once she was settled and that she'd see the tomorrow for coffee before school. Humming, she swayed in place as she waited for the elevator and wondered if her Branch had missed her at all. Although a part of her knew if she asked he just deny it, the grump. It wouldn't be that bad if he admitted he missed her, they were friends after all.

Then again, Poppy thought as she selected her floor number, maybe he'd show a little emotion besides sarcasm with what she was bringing him. It hadn't been a planned thing but maybe, just maybe, it would be something that he'd appreciate. And then he'd open up to her and they could be close like they used to be when they were kids! Poppy giggled at the thought as images of her and Branch singing together again entered her mind.

Skipping to her door at the end of the hallway, she opened it with a flourish, “Braaaaanch~! I'm hoooome~!”

“You don't have to yell,” He said as he came out of the bathroom, “I'm right here.”

Poppy stuck her tongue out at him, “Would it kill you to play along just once.”

“Yes.”

Rolling her eyes, she came around to the table, “My trip home was great and it was amazing, thanks for asking.” She grinned cheekily at him, “And I brought you something.” She then placed a medium-small box on the table.

Branch looked confusedly at it, not expecting her to bring something back for him, but more importantly it didn't look like some random snack or knick-nack one would bring for someone else. “What is it?” He asked wearily.

“Well...um..” Poppy fidgeted with a piece of her hair, “It's some stuff of your grandma's my dad had. Said he saved it after the accident and was keeping it safe so it didn't get lose in the shuffle of all the foster homes you went through.” She bit her lip when Branch didn't really respond besides now staring wide eyed at the box, “He would have given it to you sooner but I guess you never responded when he asked to see you?”

“I-” Branch didn't know how to feel. Here was supposedly a box of his grandmother's things, things he had be sure were gone forever and that he'd probably never see again, but had actually been kept by Peppy. Things he could've had sooner but never got as he always avoided the mayor, and Poppy when he could, as he just wanted to be left alone. “I...” He gulped, trying to fight the sudden lump in his throat, “I'm...going to my room.” He then grabbed the box and rushed to his room, closing the door firmly behind him and leaving a confused Poppy behind.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Branch wasn't sure how long he sat on his bed after running away, just staring at the box. Here was pieces of his dear grandmother, someone who had been a constant well of support and love, who he lost, sitting in front of him when he never thought he'd any sort of memento of her. He wanted to know what was in it, wanted to know what Peppy thought he should have of hers but he just couldn't bring himself to open the damn thing. There was too much guilt in his heart at having ignored the help of the mayor, over how he could have these things sooner, over how he never went to see her grave or leave flowers, over how he never allowed himself to think about her!

Closing his eyes in distress, Branch shot his hand out, intending to just push the offending box away but knocked the lid off instead. He stared at the now open box, still unsure if he could even look at the things inside before taking a shuddering breath and reaching blindly for the first thing he could grab. His hand found what felt like a picture frame and he brought it out, eyes still closed. He fingered it lightly, tracing the edge before, after what felt like ages, opening his eyes to find his grandmother's picture staring up at him through the glass. Her hair was done in her signature bun, she was wearing her favorite heart shawl and her smile was the same soft and loving one she always ready had for him.

Memories of his grandmother swirled in his mind then, bringing up those feelings of sadness and despair he tried to repressed with them. His eyes burned as he couldn't help but regress to the thoughts he had when he lost her as he looked at her picture, how he'd never have her home cooking again, never feel her hugs again, never hear her sweet singing voice or her gentle chiding ever again! Branch clenched his eyes closed, unable to look at it anymore but it didn't matter, his grandmother's face was always in his mind and he whimpered without realizing. He missed her so damn much!

A sudden knock on his door had him snapping out of his spiraling guilt and he glared as Poppy shyly poked her head in, “Branch? ...You okay?”

“Leave me alone.” He growled. He was in no mood for her and her nonsense right now.

Poppy frowned, it didn't feel right to her to just leave him alone when he was upset, “But-”

“I said-Go Away!” Branch yelled, curling up into himself as he clutched his grandmother's photo.

Poppy nodded, not that he saw, and started to close the door before stopping. No. She couldn't do that. Branch was clearly hurting and she couldn't leave knowing that. Pushing the door back open, she rushed over and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly, “No. You're upset and I can't let you go through this alone.” She missed Grandma Rosie too, she had always been like the grandmother Poppy never had and her death had been so sudden, “I miss her too.”

Branch growled and tried to push Poppy off of him, he didn't care, she didn't know what happened and what he gone through, “Get off! Leave me alone!”

“No!” The pinkette held tighter, “You need to talk about this! You can't bottle it up forever! I know you miss her but that's no reason to hide your feelings!”

“I don't care! Go away, Poppy!” Branch cried, why wouldn't she listen?! He wanted to be alone!

“Let me help!”

“No!”

“Why?! Why not?!”

“Because you don't understand!” Branch felt tears threatening to fall but he tried to fight them, not wanting to do this in front of Poppy.

“Understand what?!”

Branch hiccuped before suddenly years of pent up emotion broke free and he sobbed, “It's all my fault!!” He then doubled over his grandma's picture as Poppy's grip loosened and cried, “Now leave me alone...”

Poppy stared in shock as Branch broke down in front of her and felt her own tears prickle in the corner of her eyes but she blinked them back before slowly wrapping her arms around Branch once more. She sniffed, “That's not true, Branch. I-It was the drunk driver that ran into her....”

“It is! It is my fault!” Branch cried, shoulders convulsing as he bawled, “Had I only listened!”

Poppy slowly rubbed his back, trying to make sense of what he was talking about, “What-What do you mean?”

Branch tried, really tried, to rein himself in but that made him cry harder. It took a few false starts before he was finally able to choke out what happened. He and Rosie had been walking home one night from the store and he had been singing. Lost in song had been more like it as he had been dancing in and out of the street. His grandmother had told him multiple times to stay on the side-walk but he hadn't listened. Then when they had been about to reach the crosswalk, Branch had jumped back in the street, performing a spin and not seeing the weaving car approaching much too fast. The next thing he knew he was laying flat on his back with his grandmother's scream ringing in his ears and the smell of burnt rubber. When he had sat up, he saw the car, front smashed in from a light pole and his grandmother's motionless body a few feet away, groceries littered around her.

Poppy let a few tears escape as she continued to rub his back, she had never heard the full story story, just that a drunk driver had hit her, “Oh Branch...”

Branch heaved in, before more sobs racked his body, the years of repressed grief pouring out, “It should've been me...!”

As Branch's words registered with Poppy, she gasped, “Branch, No! Don't say that!”

“But it's true!” She just didn't understand, if it had been him then his grandma would still be here.

Poppy felt her own tears fall but tried to keep it together, “No! It is not!” She sniffled and hugged him again, burying her face in his hair, “Please.... Please don't say that! Ha-Had it been you then-” A sob of her own escaped then, “Then you wouldn't be here and I-I-” A whimper and gasp, “I can't imagine a life without you, Branch. You're my best friend.” She finally broke and started to cry.

Branch finally snapped out of his own sorrow at the sounds of Poppy sobs, “Poppy...”

“Please, Branch,” She pleaded, “Please don't say that again! You-you're so-so important to me and I-” She gasped, “I can't even think about you-you being gooooone!!”

It took a few seconds for Branch to respond, he...hadn't really thought about that. Of course he knew Poppy cared for all her friends, but for her to cry over the thought of him being gone when he certainly didn't feel worthy of that kind of privilege from her... He didn't know how to feel, “Hey...Hey, Poppy. It-It's okay...”

“No, it not!” She cried, tried to bury her face farther into his hair, “I-You-” She whined, unable to find the words she wanted, “You shouldn't talk like that! It's scary and-!”

“Hey, hey, come on...” Branch wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close in a one armed hug as he laid his forehead on her shoulder, “Don't cry, please? I'm sorry.” He was still trying to wrap his head around her being so torn about him being gone because he was just a pathetic piece of crap that didn't deserve this ray of sunshine caring about him like that but he wasn't about to let her cry over him.

She pulled away from him and held his face in her hands, “Please, Branch,” She sniffed, “Please don't talk like that! You're important and special and-and you-you” She choked back another sob, “You deserve to be happy. Not to-to wallow in guilt. Please. Please promise me, you'll never think or say it should've been you again. And talk me, please. We're friends, Branch, and I'd like to help however I can.”

“I-” He didn't if he could promise that to her, not when he still felt so guilty about it but...but the thought of Poppy crying about him again made his stomach turn, “I'll try.”

Poppy sniffed and stared at Branch before nodding, seeing in his eyes that he meant it and was satisfied that he'd at least try. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, “Good.”

It took another few moments for Branch to bring himself to hug her back but when he did, he buried his face in her shoulder again and took a shuddering breath, he had already made a fool of himself already with all the crying he'd done, so what was a little more? “I miss her so much...”

“I know,” Poppy squeezed him before rubbing his back, “It's okay.”

They stayed like that for a while, hugging on his bed, until Branch finally pulled away to wipe as his eyes. He kept one arm around Poppy and she didn't seem to mind as she rested her head on his shoulder, her own arms still wrapped around him. He picked up and held the picture of his grandma, feeling....feeling surprisingly lighter than he had.

“You okay?” Poppy asked quietly after a few silent moments of observing the photo.

“...Yeah...” He sighed, “Yeah, I think I am.” And he meant that.

She smiled and hummed lightly, “Good. I'm glad.”

They sat in silence again before Poppy shifted, “Mind if I peek at what else is in there?” She pointed to the box still sitting innocently at the end of his bed.

Branch took a deep breath, still feeling the effects of finally letting some of the guilt out and nodded, “Go ahead.” He'd eventually look, he told himself, but maybe having Poppy beside him would help the hurt still searing his soul.

Stretching over and reaching inside, Poppy pulled out a large photo album decorated with large roses. Settling back beside him, Poppy leaned against him as she started to flip through it. Pictures featuring a young Branch and Rosie were prominent at first. He held her arms as a baby, as a small child sitting on her lap with a huge grin as she told him a story and as a kid not too long before he lost her. Eventually a certain pinkette, then blonde with fake pink hair streaks started creeping into the pictures. Sleepovers and eating ice cream on the porch, swimming adventures and a copy of that science fair he'd won. Poppy giggled at some of the amusing ones, like his poor attempt as a dragon costume when he was eight and smiled at the memories of the two of them hanging out all the time. Branch laid his head on top of hers and commented here and there.

“Oh my gosh!” Poppy giggled, “Look! Isn't that talent show we entered?” She pointed to a picture featuring them on stage, dressed nicely, microphone's in hand and singing proudly.

Branch snorted, “Yeah.”

“Oh geez...What was the song we sang?”

“'September' and we were teased about it too.”

“Oh yeah~” She giggled again, “And it wasn't so bad. Plus, if I remember correctly, we came in second, right?”

Branch chuckled, “Yeah. Would've come in first but we lost to Moxie's ballet routine.”

“Right. Oh!” She pointed to another photo, this one featuring Branch with two stuffed animals, a walrus and a blue crocodile, “Look! It's Gary and Croco! Whatever happened to them?”

“Hmm,” Branch hummed taking the album and he looked at the picture, “Croco, I think got lost during all the shifting I did through foster homes. Gary...I'm not really sure.” He hadn't seen the walrus in years.

“Hmm...” Poppy sat back up and moved to look through the box again, thinking she may have seen an answer to the missing walrus as Branch continued to flip through the album, smiling softly at all the pictures of him and his grandmother. “Aha!” Poppy exclaimed, pulling out a faded and slightly dusty plush walrus, stuffing seeping out from a few seams, “Look who I found~”

Branch blinked before taking the old plush and gazing at it, he never thought he'd see Gary again, “Huh.”

Poppy smiled at Branch, happy he hadn't slipped back into his usual default mode and was allowing her to be here with him as they looked through these old things. She then glanced at the photo he had pulled out first and took it gently in her hands, “Hey...” She said, breaking him out of whatever thoughts were going through his head, “I have a place we could put this...if you don't mind that is?”

Branch looked at her for a moment before shrugging, “Go ahead.”

She grinned and grabbed his hand, pulling him up and out of his room, “Come on.” She led him back out into the living room and over to her shelves of photos, or rather one particular shelf. One it sat only one photo alongside a few candles and fake flowers. Said photo was of a beautiful, blonde woman with a single streak of strawberry blonde, sparkling amber eyes and freckles across her cheeks, the same eyes and freckles her daughter had. Branch watched as Poppy shifted a few things and set his grandmother's photo next to her mom's.

“There.” She stepped back to gaze at them before turning to Branch, “That okay?”

Branch nodded after a moment, shocked but honored Poppy felt his grandmother special enough to be sat beside her mother, “Yeah.”

She grinned and bounced on her heels as she placed her hands behind her back, “What do ya say we order takeout for dinner? Maybe watch some movies? We've been on...one emotional roller coaster and I don't know about you but I'm starving.”

Branch chuckled, trust Poppy to try and smooth anything over with food, “Sure.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Some hours later, long after eating and watching movies, Branch found himself gazing drowsily at Poppy, once again asleep on him as they laid on the couch. He smiled at her, now that he'd had time to process everything, he was actually sort of glad she hadn't left him alone. He didn't think he could fall even more on love with this woman than he already was but she proved him wrong. And he hadn't felt this light in years, the guilt that had plagued him for years finally had let up. Of course he knew there was still some there, one explosion of feelings couldn't fix years of telling himself he was responsible for what happened but for now, he was okay.

And it was all thanks to the beautiful woman in his arms.

“Thank you.” He whispered before leaning down and kissing her forehead.

Poppy merely sighed and snuggled deeper into his chest as Branch let himself fall asleep.

�� ~*~*~*~*~*~

Wow this chapter was a bit of a roller coaster huh? First off, yay! Character cameos of Sky, CJ, Priscilla, Keith and of course Peppy! Then of course there was the whole scene with Branch breaking down, which as I said may be a little off in places (to me at least) but it's hard to write when you make yourself cry with your own content XD

Hope you all enjoyed!

Song Credit:

'A Whole New World'-sung by Yuna on the 'We Love Disney' collection.

#Dreamworks Trolls #Branch #Poppy #Broppy #Fanfiction #Human AU #Modern AU #Roommate AU #dreamworkstrolls #Peppy #Background Characters #Emotions

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uncloseted · 5 years

Text

Effy’s Closet Watches Skins: 303 “Thomas”

Hey guys! Sorry for the delay in this recap. I actually did a whole thing and then promptly restarted my computer and deleted it all. But hopefully that means I just had that much more time to think about this episode and this recap will be a really good one. More after the cut...

- The first thing I want to say is I love the images of Thomas at the very end of the intro. You may not have noticed this, but for each episode, the intro ends with two shots of the character whose episode it is. In Thomas' case, the first shot is of him alone in a field, turned away from the camera. He's in a new place, totally isolated. And in the next one, he's looking up, optimistically and cheerfully. This is new to him, but he's going to figure it out.

- The first shot is this gorgeous view of the city, juxtaposed with Thomas' rundown, abandoned flat. It's dingy and there's trash everywhere. We don't see Thomas yet. Just a close up of his hands putting down his cassette player and a photo of his family. Already, we know what's important to Thomas- he's musical, and he cares about his family more than anything else. The music starts playing, and we pan up to see Thomas with a big smile on his face, practicing in the dusty mirror- "hello! I am Thomas! So glad to meet you!" South African rapper Mapaputsi's song "Kleva" is what Thomas is listening to. It's juxtaposed with images of Bristol- the Union Jack on a flagpole outside his building, the English flag flying off of someone's balcony. Already, we've been introduced to the core of Thomas's dilemma throughout his entire time on the show- how much is he Congolese? How much is he British? How much should he assimilate to British culture?

Thomas does an adorable dance in his layers and layers of coats, hats, and gloves. This flat may look dingy to us, but to Thomas, it's luxury, and he's clearly so happy to be here. He sets up his toothbrush and toothpaste with love, cleans some of the trash up, and sets out his sleeping mat. The water in his shower comes out brown at first, but it's okay! It goes clear eventually. The color of his skin contrasted against the red tile in the bathroom is gorgeous. The camera lingers for a second on Thomas' necklace that he later gives to Pandora- this is a necklace that's clearly important to him.

- Thomas exits his flat and looks out over his new city. A woman comes out of her flat with her young son. Thomas introduces himself, just as he practiced, with a big smile. The little boy responds, "hello!" before getting dragged away by his mother. Clearly she's not quite as excited to meet Thomas as he is to meet her, and he looks a little bit put down about it.

- Thomas calls his own mother, and she's not too different to the mother we just saw. Thomas excitedly tells her that everything is great, that he found a super cool flat, that he's excited for her to see it, it's super luxury, really incredible... and all she wants to know is has he found a job. "Yes!" He lies, "I'm a sweeper... it's super easy", but before she can ask further, his card runs out of minutes. He goes to the convenience store where he bought the card, saying "I bought this card for 120 minutes!" The guy behind the counter is not having it. Like Thomas, he's an immigrant, but he seems less than sympathetic to Thomas' plight. "My mother, she'll be very, very upset...." starts Thomas, and we get another insight into his personality. He cares very much about what his overly critical mother thinks and wants to do her proud and prevent her from being angrier at him. Thomas digs in his pocket for more money, desperate to call his mother back, when some young English kids come into the store and begin stealing candy. The man takes out his baseball bat to go and intimidate the boys, but Thomas' focus is on the donuts. Finally, he rips himself away to get involved in the fight that's quickly escalating in the shop. A side note: the till in the shop says "no change given for the telephone", so it seems like maybe people try to rip this guy off frequently, or maybe he's just stingy. Anyway, Thomas pulls one of the kids away and has a lovely little line, "cunt is a very bad word! Even in England, I think..." Then his attention changes to the man, "what is this Paki they call you? Is that bad?" And the man responds, "I'm from Delhi, I hate Pakis!" I'm not sure why I love this line so much, but I do. I guess it's because there's something so ridiculous and human about someone who was just targeted for their race being like, "I object to what you said because I also hate the group you just associated me with!" The shopkeeper appreciates Thomas' help and rewards Thomas with a big bag of donuts, and Thomas looks pleased with himself that he could be of service. As we find out through generation 2, Thomas is someone who takes honor very seriously, and who always wants to do the right thing (even when he's not totally sure what the right thing is).

- At this point, if this is your first time watching the episode, you're probably wondering, "who are all those hooligans that we saw in the other two episodes, and who is this kid?" But the show has a way of getting us to care about characters, and Thomas is no exception. Anyway, he sits down at a bus stop to eat his donuts, and the camera pulls out. Surprise! There are Effy and Pandora, just waiting to meet this new boy who will eventually be very, very important to them. And of course it's Effy and Pandora- who else would make friends with a random boy at a bus stop? Maybe it's a bit ridiculous, but Pandora is ridiculous, and Thomas is a bit ridiculous, so the whole thing works really nicely. At this point, I also want to point out that his series 4 episode starts in a similar way. Instead of focusing on Thomas, it focuses on a new character, one we've never seen before, Sophia. She walks by all of the main characters of gen 2, but instead of finding her Pandora, someone who will reach out to her and help her fit in... she jumps. Skins is brilliant sometimes. Back to the plot, Pandora is eyeing Thomas' donuts. It's hard not to, Thomas is eating them so enthusiastically. Meanwhile, Effy is sitting disinterestedly, smoking a spliff and holding an Irn Bru. Thomas belatedly realizes that he thinks he's being rude, and says, "of course! I have too many!" and offers Pandora one. He offers Effy one, and she turns him down. "Effy doesn't do donuts... [she does] drugs!" explains Pandora. This is Thomas' first proper introduction to the idea that England has very different morals from Congo, but he's willing to see what happens. Pandora takes a bunch of hits of the joint, and Thomas looks concerned (as he should be, given what happens next). Thomas gives this cute small smile, like he likes this girl in spite of himself. Effy looks super done with this whole situation, but Thomas doesn't seem to clock that. He reaches out to shake her hand, like he practiced- "Hello! My name is Thomas! So glad to meet you!" I wish I had something insightful to say about this interaction, but really I don't. Thomas' energy compared to Effy's apathy is sort of funny, and I think again highlights the fact that the English are very different from the Congolese (or at least, from Thomas).

Pandora pukes, and Effy is disgusted because this is the second time in two episodes that Pandora has done that. Thomas throws Pandora over his shoulder like a goat, and they go to Effy's house. Between these scenes, her boots changed from awful vinyl knee highs to her normal Sancho boots, but that still doesn't save this outfit for me. What are those pearls, Effy? Taking some fashion tips from Katie, I see...

- They enter the house, and Thomas pronounces it incredible. Effy seems surprised by this, because she thinks of it as just a normal house, and it's a nice moment that underlines that Thomas had a very different upbringing from the rest of the gang. There's also a blink and you'll miss it moment where Thomas realizes his hand is on Pandora's ass, and he looks just a little pleased before being all, "I must do the honorable thing!" and moving it. They bring her upstairs and plunk her down on a chair. "I think maybe these donuts are no good for you" he says with an incredibly endearing smile. It's so obvious that he likes Pandora despite the fact that she's puking and overall just a total mess. "Yeah, that must be it," Effy says, and she's warming up to him a bit. She offers a little smile... and then she hears some noises from the other room. Her suspicions have been confirmed- her mum is indeed having an affair. Thomas barges in and introduces himself to Anthea and Steve, breaking the tension, and Effy seems to appreciate it, giving him that little smile again. Then she looks down, I guess because she's trying to process this, but it's hard to know what she's thinking. Is it an "oh shit, I was hoping that this wasn't true" or is it a "fuck, now I have to keep this secret"? It's hard to tell.

- Thomas tries to make nice with his bitchy neighbor again- "good evening!" and she shuts the door without saying anything. Thomas is clearly upset that she doesn't like him. He goes to sleep and then is rudely awakened with a punch to the head. Surprise! It's Johnny White, he owns this flat, and Thomas is squatting there. One wonders whether his bitchy neighbor turned him in. This scene is great because Johnny's thugs are pure nonsense. Johnny is trying to be serious, but clearly his thugs don't really know what they're doing and aren't very bright. One of them (I think his name is Bennie) is played by the same guy as Mini's mum's boyfriend, but I don't think they're meant to be the same character. "Put the kettle on, please, lads," Johnny instructs, and they sit there staring at the kettle. Heavy goes to say something, changes his mind, waits a few moments, and then offers up, "It's taking a long time there, boss." The second thug comments, "I keep saying, like. Probably shouldn't watch it. You know?" Hilarious. Skins does such a great job with its comedic extras. The water eventually boils and Johnny White pours it into a cup noodles with tobacco sauce and downs it, because he wants Thomas to "know what kind of man he's dealing with".

Thomas mostly looks disgusted and a bit confused at what he's suppsoed to take away from this. Mostly he seems concerned about Johnny littering. He demands that Thomas give him "£300 deposit by Desperate Housewives on Thursday." There's a great interaction between the thugs that you might miss if you're not paying attention: "JOHNNY: Say goodnight to Thomas, boys. MAN 2: See ya, cocker. MAN 1: Cheers, Thommo. All the best. MAN 2: Be lucky. MAN 1: He seemed like a nice lad to me. MAN 2: Yeah, but John's gonna fuck him. MAN 1: Oh, yeah. He is." What can I say? I'm a sucker for a punch clock villain.

- Thomas records a message for his family. Even though he's spent the majority of the episode complaining about the cold and his life has just been threatened, he tells them, "here, the sun shines just like at home and there are many wonderful people." He's an inherently optimistic person. He really believes that things are going to work out. He sings his siblings a song, which continues to play over a shot where Thomas (the only black person in the group) tries to get onto a truck so that he can do some construction work. One of the men tells him, "this isn't your work", but then takes pity on him and lets him know about a temp agency where they'll take anyone.

Thomas goes into the office and tries to make smalltalk with the woman placing him in a job. She asks for special skills, and he offers "I play all music. I run very, very fast. Like a dog. Also, I am mathematical. I will solve any equation." With each question she asks, he looks excited, like maybe this one will be the one where he has the right answer! But she deems that he has no special skills, qualifications, or experience of any kind, and his face falls. But still, he pushes on- "my mother is coming, you see, and she is a very fussy lady". Even in the face of literal gangster Johnny White, Thomas is most afraid of his mother.

- Thomas is now a janitor at Roundview, because of course he is. He cleans the hallway very thoroughly and admires his work. Then the bell rings, and a hoard of students come through completely destroying all the work Thomas just did. He looks crestfallen. Effy walks by, but she doesn't notice him, or maybe she doesn't recognize him. We get a really great and iconic interaction between Katie and Effy here. Effy is clearly still preoccupied with her mum's affair, and Katie still just wants Effy to like her, I guess because Effy still isn't giving her the time of day and that only makes Katie want her validation more. "KATIE: Effy! Effy! Effy! Excuse me! Effy, hi! Look. I got a new top. It's cool, isn't it? When you've got tits like mine, you've gotta flash them haven't you? EFFY: Sorry? KATIE: Breasts, girl. You should try it. EFFY: I never try." Katie looks genuinely confused by this, like she doesn't understand what sort of game Effy is playing. Katie's whole life is about trying, and so the idea that she just... wouldn't... is perplexing to her, I think especially because Effy has everything Katie tries so hard to get. Effy walks away and Katie turns her attention to Emily to get her anger at the interaction out of her system. "Stop fucking following me, would you?" Emily tries to protest, but Katie's already gone.

Thomas has noticed the situation and engages Emily. "THOMAS: A strange place, this college. EMILY: Sorry? THOMAS: Everyone is loud and they care about nothing. EMILY: Yeah. You're right. THOMAS: You are the same as your sister. EMILY: I'm not the same as her. THOMAS: No? Maybe you're a little more pretty. EMILY: Cheeky." Thomas is giving Emily an opportunity to take her power back, whether he means to or not. He's letting her say, "I'm not like my sister", and it seems like it might be the first time she's ever actually said that out loud to someone. Maybe because Thomas is new, or the janitor, she feels like it's safe to say that to him. He tells her that she's the more attractive one, and that's definitely something Emily hasn't heard before. She looks reluctantly pleased and it's adorable.

- Emily walks away, and Thomas pronounces her backside as being "most satisfactory". I like this because at times Thomas can seem a little too honorable. This gives us a little reminder that he's still a teenage guy. He turns his attention back to the hallway only to realize that it's a complete mess again. And then he hears Africanish music and abandons his job to follow the noise. It's a dance class where they're "acting Africa" and "stalking leopards". Naturally, Pandora is in it, being an adorable... gazelle? Maybe? It's hard to tell what she's supposed to be, but she's really into it, and Thomas is charmed. Pandora keeps dancing even after they're supposed to be done, in typical Pandora form.

Thomas goes over to the drums and looks at the instruments. He's comforted. "Hello, friend," he says as he begins to play. This is the first time this episode where Thomas allows himself to let down his cheery exterior, to really feel homesick. Pandora sneaks back into the room to see him under the guise of forgetting her tail. She complements him on his "fast fingers" and then says, "Thomas? Why are you crying?" And I love this because 1) Pandora remembers his name, even though she was so drunk she was puking when they met, 2) Pandora recognizes him, even though Effy didn't, and 3) she's not beating around the bush. She sees he's upset and she doesn't want to be polite and pretend like she doesn't notice. She just wants to help. It's a really lovely scene, Pandora, an English girl, dressed up like Thomas' homeland, reaching out and trying to make him comfortable in his new home.

- Pandora takes Thomas to her Aunt Elizabeth's house, and fuck is that exterior shot gorgeous. They have a nice little conversation as they walk up to the house, "PANDORA: Effy told me you carried me back, stripped me naked, and laid me tenderly in your bed. THOMAS: Excuse me? I didn't... What? PANDORA: You must be wondrously strong to carry me. THOMAS: I've carried heavier goats. PANDORA: You're funny! THOMAS: Am I? PANDORA: Yeah. And you like all the same things as me. Dancing, doughnuts..." I love this conversation. First of all, Effy, you sly dog, you laid the groundwork for this ship! But also, I like that they're showing us Pandora and Thomas getting to know each other, finding the things they have in common. They're showing us why this relationship works, and in the thirty seconds that this scene is, I'm completely sold on the idea that they should be together. Their outfits are great, too. Pandora is all pastels and polka dots and Thomas has more muted tones and stripes. They both look a bit ridiculous. They're not matching, but they're complementary, and I think it's such a nice reflection of their relationship, two people who are the same naive, optimistic, slightly bizarre type of person. Thomas asks how many people live in Aunt Elizabeth's place, and Pandora says, "one! Auntie Lizzie has a wicked load of stuff." And again, as in Effy's house, the point is underlined- this is not a world Thomas grew up in.

Auntie Elizabeth has a set of chainsaws displayed on her wall, as well as an umbrella stand filled with canes. She does indeed have a wicked load of stuff. Elizabeth gives them tea, and it turns out to be made from pot. Thomas realizes that he has an opportunity here, and says "I would be very pleased to see how it's grown". Aunt Elizabeth says that they can go once they've gotten "well and truly sconed" and I'm not sure if she knows the tea is weed or not. Thomas says, "maybe I could sell some. I think people would like it very much!" Aunt Elizabeth tells Pandora that she could do much worse and gives Thomas as much weed as he wants. They go back to Thomas' place, and Pandora says, "You don't have much furniture in here, do you, Thomas?" Thomas replies by talking about his mother again: "I must buy some before my mother comes. She is a powerful lady, most powerful. Especially on the backhand." Pandora goes on a little rant about how there's hardly enough tea in the bag for three or four cups, and that's definitely not enough to buy a sofa, and looks horrified when Thomas puts the "tea" in a joint and goes to smoke it. Finally, Pandora understands. "You're amazing!" she says, and she kisses him in this really squishy, adorable, totally Pandora way. "Wow, now I get it. That was kissing." They're such a great ship and the writers really messed up in series 4.

- Meanwhile, at the Stonem house, Effy is having a silent staredown with her mum while her dad prattles on about a fight Steve got in with the Managing Director of their company the background. She has wine with her dinner, which I guess explains some things about where her parents are when it comes to her. "You liked him, didn't you, love?" Jim asks Anthea. Effy smiles a knowing smile while Anthea tries to get out of this conversation, but apparently Jim has invited Steve over for drinks because they have a lot in common. That you do, Jim, more than you know. "I've made a friend!" Jim says, and it's a bit heartbreaking because he seems so excited that he's got a friend. The door rings, and Jim says, "that'll be him now" and goes to answer it. Anthea and Effy get a moment to themselves. "It's more complicated than you think," Anthea tries, but Effy is angry. "It doesn't seem complicated. You're fucking my dad's line manager. No biggie." Pandora shows up, and Jim asks her her name again. When she answers, he mutters "ridiculous" under his breath, and I love it. Anthea is trying to hide her face so Thomas doesn't recognize her, but to no avail. He goes up to Jim and says, "So glad to meet you again! You look different with your clothes on!" I think that's pushing the limit of what's believable, but maybe to Thomas all white men look the same.

- Cook, JJ, and Freddie are standing in a parking lot. JJ tries to voice that he's still upset with Cook, but Cook is way beyond that. Cook ogles the girls, and Freddie informs him that they all hate him because he's a tit. Pandora and Effy explain the situation, and it becomes clear that Effy has gathered the troops here to help Thomas out. At the mention of Johnny White, Freddie looks like he's about to back out, but at the mention of 13 ounces of weed, he's convinced of staying. Then Naomi appears. "Hi!" she says, and gives a little wave. She's happy to be included. But then right away, Katie is on the offensive, making gay jokes about Naomi, and Naomi turns right back around to leave. "See you". This is Naomi putting herself out there, and she immediately rejected and othered by this group. She so badly wants to be like everyone else, to be included even though she wants everyone to think she doesn't care, and in just a few seconds of being there all of her suspicions are confirmed. She doesn't fit in, these people don't like her, they're not going to accept her... and that's the final straw for Emily. It's one thing to follow along with what Katie wants when she's the only person getting hurt, but this is Naomi, the love of her life, and Emily isn't going to stand for it. She can't let Naomi feel hurt and left out, and she needs to fix it right then and there. "Oh, for fuck’s sake! She didn’t kiss me, OK?...I kissed her. I was drunk and someone gave me MDMA and … I felt like fucking kissing someone. Satisfied?" Finally the viewer gets confirmation of what we've suspected since the first episode- the relationship between Naomi and Emily is not nearly as simple as Naomi being some sort of predator.

Effy gives this little smile. She's proud of Emily for finally standing up to Katie, and she's been on this Naomily ship from the first time she saw the two of them in a room together, so I think she's very satisfied with the way this is progressing, thank you very much. Then Effy looks over her shoulder, because of course Naomi is about to come back. Emily has stood up for her, acknowledged in a small way that she likes Naomi as something. Anything more than this would drive Naomi away and make Katie angry, but this? This is just toeing the line, and Emily gets what she wants. Then Cook makes a gross comment about Naomi and Emily kissing, and Effy immediately shuts him down, "you promised us a party?" And I love this, too, because she's protecting them. Naomi and Emily aren't ready to talk further about their feelings and she knows that, so she distracts Cook. Effy seems on the surface like she doesn't care about anyone or anything, but really, she's someone that wants to protect everyone around her as much as she can.

- Cook moves a manhole and reveals a gold light to rival the briefcase in Pulp Fiction. It looks like they're in some sort of cave, and everyone goes to sell Thomas' weed. But wait! Johnny White is here, and things are going to get messy. But first, we have some more Naomily to attend to while Johnny White gets trampled by some pilled-up party kids. "how much have you sold?" Emily asks Naomi, "I've done three bags." Naomi looks scared and also like there's nowhere she'd rather be, and like she doesn't really know how to reconcile the two. Naomi puts up her wall, "I don't even know why I'm doing this" as if the reason ("I'm doing this to spend time with you") isn't perfectly obvious to them both. Effy appears to lurk in a corner and watch her favorite ship progress. Naomi says, "I don't care what your sister thinks," but she does, she totally does, because what Katie thinks is important to Emily and Emily is important to her. Naomi is standing sideways this entire conversation, not even looking directly at Emily. Her body language is totally closed off. Emily says, "Yeah, well, I do. So thanks anyway."

The she takes a chance, not quite knowing how it will land. She's been good about not pushing Naomi too far up until now, but now she's put herself out there for Naomi, and I think she's wondering if maybe Naomi will do the same. "I didn't take MDMA that night. I just wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss you now." Naomi accuses Emily of being gay, and Emily apologises. She knows that's too much for Naomi, that she's pushed her too far. There's so much tension in this scene, both of them wanting but not knowing how to express their feelings in a way that's safe. Naomi is too scared of what will happen if she says yes, if she admits that this is what she wants. She knows it's something that could make or destroy her entire life. So she runs away. "Yeah, me too" is her response to Emily's apology, and on the one hand it seems like a "I'm sorry I can't be what you want" but I think it's really a "I'm sorry I'm not brave enough for this right now." Emily being gay makes her life a lot more complicated, because now the potential for something to happen is real. "Shit shit shit" Emily says, because she knows that she's pushed Naomi too far and maybe ruined her chance of something ever happening. Emily turns around and there's Effy, who gives her a smirk and shakes her head a bit.

- Thomas enters the scene and hastily asks, "which are you?" to which Emily responds "gay! I mean, Emily." I think this is the first time she's said that out loud and again, Thomas is the one giving her the opportunity to distance her identity from her sister's. He finds it important to know which one she is instead of treating them as interchangeable. He gives her the opportunity to say who she is. And in response, he's the first person she trusts when she comes out, even if it's accidental. Later, he’ll be the person she goes to when everything is fucked up with Naomi, but we’re not there yet.

Then Johnny White pops up out of nowhere, and he's like "you're on my turf, we're going to beat you up" and Thomas runs, taking this opportunity to show off his rap skills. Pandora is very impressed and blows him a kiss. She's lame and it's perfect. Johnny for whatever reason doesn't recognize Thomas now that he's wearing a hat, and leaves, so Thomas is safe for now. They leave the party and count the money. Effy seems pleased that she's made this happen. - Johnny White shows back up and threatens Thomas before he notices Cook. He rips his necklace off of Cook's throat, but before things can get worse, Thomas steps in. Cook helped him out tonight, so I think he feels like it's the right thing to do to protect Cook (which is why it's so upsetting when Cook betrays him by sleeping with Pandora later). They're friends now, and friends protect friends, at least in Thomas' mind. So he says, "You must be some kind of English pussy cunt. You heard me. I think you're afraid. Possibly your father was a homosexual donkey. I will fight you by myself. You can choose any weapon." Johnny challenges him to a spicy pepper eating competition.

Everyone looks very solemn, and Effy is making this face like, "how on earth did we get into this situation?" She also looks nothing like herself in these scenes. Johnny says that his men will rape all the women if Thomas loses, and Bennie is all, "Um, boss, the lads... The lads aren't too keen, you know, on the rape." And Johnny is like, "I'm talking dangerous! Can't anyone talk dangerous anymore? FFS." And it pulls this contest back into the realm of reality again, so it ends up sort of working.

The shot of the peppers is really lovely and so, so Skins. Effy looks almost embarrassed to be here. Thomas takes a handful of them and Bennie seems genuinely worried for him, but Thomas is perfectly fine. He smiles- it turns out this is his special skill from the village. Everyone is tentatively proud of him, and he even gets a "well done, Thomas" from Effy. Apparently his mother would forbid him from eating them, but he was a very naughty boy and has built up something of an immunity. Now Thomas knows he's in a position to bargain- "If I win, I pay you no money, and you leave me and my friends alone forever." Johnny White predictably gets very fucked up from eating the same amount of peppers Thomas did, so Thomas wins. The gang is very amused.

- Thomas has finally gotten that couch he wanted earlier in the episode, and the gang is celebrating with booze and weed (and donuts for Thomas). Thomas also has a mobile phone now, so he no longer has to rely on those phone cards he was buying at the beginning. Pandora demands he come to bed with her, saying that she wants him to be her first. She says "what do I want? Surfing and turfing. When do I want it? Now" and it's adorable because she's clearly trying hard to be sexy but doesn't quite know how.

Before Thomas can get down to it, though, the doorbell rings, and finally, after hearing so much about him, his mother arrives with a big smile. Maybe she's not as strict as we thought? Thomas' siblings run in to hug him. They clearly adore him and missed him. "Let's see the flat," she says, and he responds with, "but I thought you weren't coming until next week!" She demands a kiss and then says, "it's too long for you to be without supervision" and smiles like she's made a great joke. Her honorable, up before sunrise to milk the goats son would never get up to anything irresponsible. But just as she says that, Katie walks by with a bottle of rum, Effy and Cook are passionately making out (it's worth noting that Freddie is not participating in the party, instead sitting exasperatedly on the couch), and Pandora comes to ask him when he's going to come jump her, because she's taken her bra off and everything... before realizing that there's a woman at the door, and she should be trying to impress her.

Thomas' mother says that she's sending him home and that all of the Skins gang is disgusting. We see one single tear roll down Thomas' cheek, and then he's packed his bags to go back to Congo. Pandora sits in her Aunt Elizabeth's house, her head in Elizabeth's lap next to a giant chainsaw. It's interesting that she goes to Elizabeth instead of her mother- we'll learn in the next episode why that is. Sidenote: we see Aunt Elizabeth smoking a joint in this scene, so it seems like she did know what the “tea” was all along. Last thought: Effy seems OOC in the latter half of this episode. Less in control, less fit and mysterious. But she has just found out that her mum is having an affair and they've just gotten in a fight about it, so I think she's taking more drugs than usual. Which explains why her face is a little more expressive than usual.

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

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Smokey brand Reviews: Carrie Lite

Since we’re all under government quarantine, i mean, since we’re all social distancing, i figure this is a good opportunity to catch up on some of the things is didn’t have enough tome to see otherwise. There were a few movies coming out that i wanted to take a legit theater gander at but i think they’re hitting streaming instead. Invisible Man, i’m looking at you. In the meantime, i took in a few shows on the Netflix that caught my interest, the first of which is I Am Not Okay With This. It’s the new show from Jonathan Entwistle, the director of the excellent End of the F*cking World, and appear to be a mixture of that show and Carrie. I absolutely adore End and Carrie is one of my favorites stories ever told, so my anticipation for this adaption was palpable. After binging the entire show in a day, i must say, i have opinions.

The Good

I rather like the overall plot of this show. It feels real. Telekinetic powers aside, this feels like one of the more realistic portrayals of awkward teen development i’ve seen in some time. Everyone is so awkward. Everyone is so clumsy. It’s like watching actual high school kids living high school lives. No one knows who the f*ck they are except the weird kid, which is the truest thing about this narrative that you never see in lesser, teen oriented dramedies.

Speaking of narrative, the writing on this show is strong as f*ck. Easily one of the better written shows out right now. Seriously, this is about as tight in the writing department as End of the F*cking World and that was, easily, the best written show i had seen in probably a decade. Okay gives that masterpiece a run for it’s money.

My, goodness, is this thing beautifully shot. The frames chosen, the pans, the wipes, that use of slow motion at just the right time; All of it comes together in a feast for the eyes. This show is truly a joy to watch. It’s not super laden with effects or saturated with Bayhem or whatever but if you’re a fan of camera work, the composition of shots, or the way Wes Anderson frames his scenes, you’ll definitely appreciate the look of this show.

The direction of this show is good. I can’t say i’m enthused by it because i already saw it in The End of the F*cking World, and this show skews to hard toward that one. That’s a choice made by Jonathan Entwistle, considering he was a director and creative force behind both shows. Now, i understand that cats have a certain style, a certain flair to their craft. You know a David Fincher flick when you see it. You know a Chris Nolan flick when you see it. That said, their movies are not the same. Dunkirk does not feel like The Dark Knight. Alien 3 does not feel like Gone Girl. There are, of course, superficial similarities; Cinematography, shot composition, editing style, etc. But, the sum of the parts does not make the same whole, over and over again. Michael By has that problem. It’s why no one takes him seriously as a director anymore. You have to innovate, evolve your style, to stay relevant and Entwistle seems to be resting on his laurels with Okay. He’s good at his job, don’t misunderstand, i’m just left wanting, you know?

The casting of this show is pretty legit. I mean, there are those twenty-somethings masquerading as teenagers but the gap isn’t as bad as you’d assume. I’m pretty sure these cats are supposed to be around Junior/Senior level age and, for the most part, the main cast falls in that wheelhouse relatively adequately. That lends itself to the believability of this teenage dramadey. I mean, who the f*ck is trying to watch a show at thirty-year-teenagers? Riverdale, i’m looking at you.

Sophia Lillis is absolutely brilliant as the our heroine, Sydney Novak. An obvious Carrie White allegory, Sophia was able to inject a genuineness to her character that give Syd an independent energy. Syd’s plight is rooted in very real, very emotional, turmoil that lends itself to what a lot of real life teens nowadays, have to face. Ma was excellent as Beverly Marsh in the IT films and i hear great things about Sharp Objects so i had confidence she could carry this show. I can’t say i was surprised when she hit it out of the park but i was, one again, incredibly impressed. I mean, she’s f*cking fresh 18! There’s no way she should be this god at her craft, so early in her career!

Another standout, and easily my favorite character in this show, was that of Stan Barber. Stan is that weird kid i poke of earlier. He has his own issues at home but Wyatt Oleff’s portrayal makes that sh*t real. He embodies that high anxiety and awkward waywardness. You can tell Stan has lived a life and is just done with the nonsense superficiality of High School bullsh*t, a fact that i can identify with. Stan is delightful eccentric, lovably awkward, and refreshingly real throughout his arc, all testament to the outstanding portrayal of Wyatt Oleff. Interestingly enough, he, too, is an IT alum. That cast of kids was truly excellent. It’s dope seeing them branch off into other great roles.

Sofia Bryant’s Dina, Syd’s best friend and object of infatuation, deserves a mention as well. She was excellent in her role, mostly. There were times when i felt her portrayal a little wooden or flat but, overall, she did a great job. It was necessary for whoever was cast as Dina to have that chemistry with Syd and Bryant played well off Lillis. Without that relationship, this entire show wouldn’t work. Fortunately, Bryant and Lillis are excellent together onscreen.

The supporting cat is pretty strong as well. No one feels fake or inorganic to the world created in this show. I have to recognize Aidan Wojtak-Hissong and Richard Ellis as Liam Novak and Brad Ellis, respectively. These cats were integral, if underutilized, to the plot. I was a little disappointed with Jenny Tuffield, played by Sophia Tatum. Her generic bad-boy turned bad-girl archetype, complete with cliche leather jacket and everything, felt too manufactured. The Fonz doesn’t exist in modern day. Greasers are extinct. Still, i think she did a decent job with what she had but she ain’t have much.

The Bad

Some characters felt underutilized. For instance, Maggie Novak, Syd’s mom. There is a lot there for the character to do but it feels like her role was purposely mitigated to exposition and cameo. I wanted more of their mother/daughter relationship. I wanted a more intimate exploration of their family dynamic. They found a way to work around that absence but it felt a little cheap. Missed potential for sure.

This show feels a little too much like End of the F*cking world. That’s not a terrible thing for me as i love that show, but it kind of handicaps what I Am Not Okay With This can truly be. If you’re constantly looking at this show through End colored goggles, you’re not truly seeing this specific show for what it is. In the long run, i think this is a detriment. End is the superior show, easily, but Okay has enough originality to stand on it’s own. They’ll definitely need to pivot for season two.

It’s very obvious that this season is only a set up for future seasons of this show. Unlike End, which had a definitive end after their first season, Okay seems to want to continue some sort of narrative. That’s fine as long as it’s planned out. Netflix is good about nixing shows before they over stay their welcome but the way this season climaxed has me worried. it feels like some Riverdale nonsense or that goofy Walking Dead thing they do where it ends on a cliffhanger of sorts. That does not bode well for the future. However, Netflix has succeeded more than they have failed in this avenue so i’ll keep the faith. For now.

The Verdict

This Is Not Okay With This is a great show, if a little derivative. It’s filled with beautiful cinematography, a compelling if a little familiar plot, and excellent performances. The teenage interactions feel real and organic while the overall narrative is decently executed, testament to the strong writing. Okay feels a little too much like End of the F*cking World at times and definitely wears it’s Carrie influences on it’s sleeve but that’s okay. For a first season, this show gets off to a strong start. Hopefully, it becomes more of it’s own thing going forward but, for a first attempt, they definitely stuck the landing. I’m Not Okay With This is definitely an easy recommend and worth your time. Since the world has stopped for at least a few weeks, there’s more than enough time to check this gem out.

Also, both of these shows are comic adaptions by a guy named Charles Forsman. You should check the books out, too, since we got all the time in the world. Literally.

#Smokey brand Reviews #I Am Not Okay With This

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hillnerd · 5 years

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How Tonks was reduced to a love interest, how she pressured Remus into marrying her, how Remus and Tonks were queer coded and the author purposely put them in a straight relationship. These are some from the top of my head.

Ah! Gotcha. Ok, well first of all- I’ve always loved the idea of the dynamic of Remus and Tonks- sweet professor type with punk happy-go-lucky punk gal. (and frankly am Biased since that dynamic is similar to me and my husband. He’s all tired and greying and sweet and math-y/sciency/technical while I’m all energy, and color and silliness.)

Tonks was reduced to a love interest

Ok so I think there is this idea that independent women are not allowed to be involved with someone romantically in a story because it somehow undercuts their value. I get that line of thinking. I think this idea stems from the very real issue of women in stories ONLY being romantic interests in stories, with little else to their character. The token female in a series that is reduced to little more than a romantic interest for the lead? Yeah- that’s valid criticism. However, for a side character to have a romance? I don’t see how that is a bad thing. It doesn’t make kickass Auror Tonks any less kickass to be in a romance. She was always a very loving and sweet character, so having this side story of hers in the books wasn’t a weakness.

I do think, though, that showing her as this hollowed out shell all through book 6, and not showing any of the development of Remus/Tonks in the books was a mistake by JKR. I had shipped Remadora before book 6 due to a great fic (Shifts by Fernwithy) as I saw their interactions as cute and flirty and was on board- but wish it had more on page development. The whole ‘mystery of why Tonks is sad’ was a bit weak and I much rather would have seen hints of their romantic relationship instead of a year of that. We also don’t get to see much of Tonks as herself after the battle of the 7 potters. Remus we see multiple times, but not Tonks- and then at the final battle she’s all distracted and ‘where’s Remus’ which I did not care for again.

So yeah I get the criticism of how Tonks was handled in this. Much of her spark and agency was taken away, without the formation, love and happiness of their relationship getting much screentime. We were told, not shown, most of it.

how she pressured Remus into marrying her

That is not a fair criticism people put forth. There is NO proof of this- and I think people are just bitter than it's Tonks/Remus happening- so they go out of their way to misinterpret Remu's regrets he tells Harry. The reason he 'regrets' marrying Tonks is he thinks he's a burden to her. I've done the same when I'm dealing with my depression/ptsd/disability. I am like 'gawd, my poor burdened husband. He's be so much better off without me!' That is my anxiety and mental illness talking- obviously I have no regrets being married to the best man in the entire world (sorry everyone else! but it's true! :) ) But when you are self-loathing and triggered, you say crap like that. Remus is about as self-loathing and self-sacrificing character as you'll find. He's smart, kind, and wonderful- but he's got some real self-worth issues and how he handles his relationship with Tonks.

All she is guilty of is LOVING him- and trying to make him see he is worthy of love. That scene in the hospital wing where their lovestory is finally revealed shows this very clearly.

Anyone who interprets this as her unfairly pressuring him is a bit deluded, or bitter, or has reading comprehension issues imo.

how Remus and Tonks were queer coded and the author purposely put them in a straight relationship

Oh THIS one. Yeah... The internet wants everyone to be gay. And when *false shock* most authors don't write that into their heteronormative books, people act like it's a big shock, or will say characters are queer coded and act like they were tricked.

So straight people can have punk hair. Straight people can have AIDs-like diseases. :P And like, that's all that could MAYBE be seen as 'queer coding'? Honestly.

Anyways- I think it's a shame that there is so much hetronormativity in our media/books etc. But I also don't think that JKR pulled any bait and switch with Remus or Tonks.

Personally, I see Remus as bi, and Tonks as Pan- but that's my own headcanon.

I think a LOT of people got super obsessed with Wolfstar wayyyy back when book 3 came out- and by book 5 it was in a frenzy- so when this out of nowhere romance came in that shut down all those gay dreams for the characters, people lost their damned minds- and it's never quite calmed down.

Personally I didn't see how wolfstar could have been a thing when Sirius betrayed Remus so deeply with that prank when they were kids, and then mistrusted Remus so deeply he thought he was a traitor and not Peter. Like, the timeline isn't very good for a relationship to have been there. Sirius is so obsessed with James that I just have never seen it as canon.

However I love the fanon versions of Wolfstar, and like the AU idea that Wolfstar was a thing for a while, then Remus did that whole 'I'm not worthy of LOOOOOOVE' thing and retreated and THAT's why Sirius thought he was the traitor. But by the time he's free from azkaban it's too late for them, he's a different person, and now Remus and Tonks are a thing.

In the end- I really like the concept of Remus/Tonks and always have. The execution left something to be desired. I would have been a-ok with ALL the sadsack stuff they did with Remus and Tonks if we’d seen more of a build up of the happy stuff too.

#remadora meta #Anonymous

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cliquestitsandicks · 5 years

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Tracking Kat

Episode 1: Kat is mourning the end of her relationship with Adena. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup in Paris. She's still looking at old pictures of them and posted one. She still hasn't sent Adena's equipment to her, even though Adena has been texting her asking for it. By the end of the episode, she's admitted to (in order) Alex, Patrick, and Jane & Sutton that she is not okay. She is still sad about the end of her relationship. Alex tells her "you're so hard on yourself. You got your heart broken. There's no expiration date on heartbreak. You move on when you're ready to move on and when you *are* ready, you will find someone amazing. Someone who will never leave." Then Patrick is an entitled, invasive dick. She told her girls she wasn't ready for it to be real yet and that's why she hadn't told them... but she broke down in front of them. She'd finally accepted it was over. End of the episode, she makes an instagram post exposing her vulnerability to the world and packs up Adena's things for good.

Episode 2: Kat injects Jane for fertility treatment. She is very familiar with Jane's reproductive system at this point - best friends. She learns the Wild Susan, a club Adena took her to that became a safe space she frequents and which happens to be 1 of only TWO lesbian bars in the city, is closing. She learns the only reason it's happening is because developers want to gentrify the neighborhood. We learn Kat has a lawyer (not sure how that may come up later) that she met through the #BeReal campaign. Anyway, Kat throws a queer prom as a fundraiser to help save the Wild Susan. It ultimately fails because $42,000 in one night from poor people is a bit much. But it was a valiant effort and, as Kat learns, the gentrifiers were well aware of its impossibility. This episode is leading up to her political career. "I've been so into my feelings lately, it feels really good to challenge my energy into something that really matters". I am so proud of Kat. In Season 1, I would have worried she was avoiding her feelings, but the writers made a big deal of showing she's done the exact opposite of that in the prior episode.

Episode 3: Kat has been researching councilman Reynolds and he's a total piece of shit - helping gentrifiers, cutting funding to parks, and voting against paid maternity leave. She's fired up. Our girl is P A S S I O N A T E & informed! We meet the councilwoman for whom she plans to volunteer and her campaign manager, Tia. Tia's a tiny, bubbly boss with natural hair and a bright smile and we see Kat brighten up. We later learn she and Kat have more in common, both being NYU grads (actually overlapping while there) and both brilliant. Tia, however, is not from a wealthy and connected background. In their initial meeting, Kat tells Tia "I'm just looking for something to channel my rage and depression". Kat enlists her besties to help get the councilwoman to unseat problematic Reynolds. Sutton clearly sees something between Kat and Tia because she does a friend's background check (checking the social media) and tells Kat she looks very single to which Kat responds "it really doesn't matter because I'm still getting over Adena" and Jane seems skeptical of Kat's protestations with her silent smirk. We learn Kat has really soft lips. Kat is the voice of reason for Alex, being the first one to acknowledge the hypersexual "dangerous" Black man depiction that will likely be projected onto him if he admits he is the man in his friend's story. Then we see her naturally command the crowd at the rally. Again, I am so proud of Kat. She isn't holding back when she knows she should speak up. She's taking control of her narrative. She's fighting for what's right in a constructive manner. And now Tia, who has way more experience with this than Kat, is recommending she run for office.

Episode 4: We start the episode with Kat describing what would be her district and job description to her best friends. She's looking excited about the potential to do something that matters and really help people. In her conversation with the Toby (?. don't know, don't care), we get to see more of Tia being supportive of Kat and Kat being confronted with whether she's motivated to actually run or just wants someone to beat Reynolds. We learn Kat had an abortion in 2013 when she was 20 AS IS HER GOTDAMN RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S HER BODY, but it's something she's felt some sort of shame/concern over seeing as nobody close to her knew about it. Then, and this is so great, after telling her friends she has the conversation with Tia. Tia shares that she's had one as well and completely understands not wanting it to be public knowledge, but in sharing her experience educates Kat on yet another way vulnerable people are having their rights stripped, this time through manipulation and "crisis centers" that shouldn't exist. Tia remains supportive and doesn't pressure Kat at all with her decision. "I am by your side if they come for you, but you gotta do what's right for you". When we get that great speech from Jacqueline we see Kat being moved my the statement that you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't take a leap faith to face challenges that frighten you, then you'll never know what you're capable of. [i'd like to pause right now to say Jacqueline is fucking wonderful and i love her like my white auntie. also Sutton needed to hear that again just as much as Kat and i really appreciate this entire moment.] When Kat leaves Jacqueline's celebration, she passes by one of those "crisis centers" Tia told her about and decides to use her voice to help others. "I like to think of myself as a pretty strong, empowered, forward-thinking, open-minded woman. But, up until now, I haven't been able to talk about my abortion. If me putting myself out there helps even one woman to feel less alone, less ashamed, and less guilty then it's worth it." And just like us, dear Tia is blown away. She actually exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding and biiiiiiiitch (!!!! excitedly). and then they're dancing! This is the episode, upon rewatch, when i recognize how often Tia touches Kat unnecessarily.

Episode 5: Kat's entire recap includes Tia, ending with Sutton saying "she seems to be very single". Her very first scene, Tia is complimenting her walking out of some campaigning event we later learn was a Town Hall. Can we just talk about Kat's blazer for a second? First of all, i want it. Second, how did they find something so perfectly her? It's colorful but still semi-professional, fun, but still about her business. Heart-eye inducing. ok. So the next time we see Kat, she and Tia (whose last name they finally mention as Clayton) are reviewing campaign platform and doing debate prep at Kat's apartment. Tia's complimenting Kat almost continuously at this point. Clearly she's impressed, borderline gushing. and Kat tries to brush it off. Tia's not letting her. And there's this moment when Tia forces herself to break eye contact with her (around 5:40 of the episode). The show tells us Kat still hasn't dated since Adena, but Sutton brings up the "stupid smile" she gets whenever Tia's mentioned. She's making better decisions than Patrick and her being compared to Patrick is lowkey happening a lot. I'm starting to wonder if they're setting up Kat taking over digital if she doesn't win the campaign. Ok, the song choice as they pan to Kat and Tia... "I never normally check my phone 10 times in a minute. I'm not the girl to be kept on hold 10 miles from the finish." Again, Tia is very touchy with Kat, never anything inappropriate of course, but the hand is always on the back or the arm. and their interaction is just.. lovely. I squeal. it's so cute. they're so comfortable. Kat invites Tia to the dinner BEFORE (i got the timing on that mixed up before) Tia says she's "a boring straight girl" [the test determined that was a LIE... nah, my good sis Tia is dealing with some internalized homophobia which is no joking matter, but we don't learn that until the next episode]. Apparently, Kat can cook now? So she just liked Adena's food better i guess? idk... anyway. I get why some of the things Tia said can be taken as flirting, but i still believe that you accept what someone says is their sexuality until they say otherwise. yes, that's even when they're saying things like "when i see what i want, i go for it" and "Annndd she can cook. it's hot" and looking at you like that. Kat telling Jane to apologize because he's her boss and she got suuuper disrespectful and would absolutely deserve getting fired makes me proud. She's the mature friend now. She's the one with a level head on her shoulders. Kat finally makes her feelings known to Tia, but this is after Tia has already stated she's straight. Tia reiterates that this is a professional relationship and apologizes for Kat getting the wrong idea. I'm reminded of when Alex Danvers told Maggie Sawyer she was into her and she was rejected... but in that example i was floored and heartbroken for Alex because ugh, i just didn't see that coming. With this, however, it felt like Tia was clear in her words even if it shocked the hell out of me what the words were. So i didn't feel heartbroken for Kat. I thought... tbh... she brought it on herself for refusing to respect Tia's "no", however soft it was. But the writers did let us know it wasn't over with the music selection... Kat looking at "You and Tia make a great team :)" as "I'll go to war for you" plays.

Episode 6: All the emails have been released and Kat has no worries at all about that because she's a professional. And we get to see her be a boss addressing the entire group. Patrick isn't there this episode (YAY for our sanity!) and i think Kat being a boss so often when Patrick isn't around is intentional. When we see Tia, she says last night is forgotten but she thinks it's a bad idea to remain Kat's campaign manager... which is clearly a hard rejection. One can argue that it's too harsh for someone merely admitting they were into you. But it's just as easy to argue that it's appropriate after telling someone, very clearly, that you are not into them romantically and them ignoring that and saying that you were flirting with them on this date they never called a date before you were already there?? so i'm not mad at it. At the end of the episode, we find out that Tia was rejecting herself, not Kat. Turns out, Ms. Tia Clayton has known she's attracted to women since she was in high school, but she "didn't want to want it". Tia is so TINY AND ANXIOUS ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE. But... and i say this in jest... for someone who is really trying not to be out in the open with her gay, she sure was comfortable kissing Kat all outdoors for anyone to see. My good sis is smitten. I'm excited for the story. Again with the music during their scenes though... "I cannot fallll in love with youuuuu. I cannot feeeeel this way so soon, so soon." Also, my girlfriend and I have watched the gifset of the kiss over the phone and swooned (we live in different states for now). This episode, we also got the flashbacks (i missed Lauren so much). Kat's got red streaks in her hair, is a friend to strangers, has regrettable sex with men who taste like pickles, and is cute as a button. She also called Jacqueline "Mama Jackie" and that's it; that's her name now.

#the bold type season 3 #the bold type #katia #kat edison #tia clayton #TBT S3 SPOILERS #i rewatched the whole season today

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