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#i really don't need to be told i'm fine because i'm not fine and i don't need another doctor being a dipshit to me
gglitch1dd · 18 hours
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Hi glitch, so don’t feel the need to respond if this makes you uncomfortable AT ALL (your blog your rules)
But how do you think Izuku and wifey would react to one of their boys expressing the idea of well liking a boy. My parents had four boys including me and were kinda spooked when I came out. ANYWAY I LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOURE DOING WELL
Hmm that's a good question.
I don't know if any of the boys would ever end up gay or not. I don't really plan or feel comfortable on exploring any of their sexualities other than Kane, Toshinori and MAYBE Asahi. But I did have the thought pop up.
To answer simply, not bad. Neither Y/N or Izuku are homophobic. Just a note that Japan is not like the west, so it really isn't their main focus. They raise the boys in a traditional manner because it's important in asian/eastern families to retain those values (and I mean the good kind like taking care of your parents, respect, etiquette and so forth). And a reminder that the Midoriyas are in ELITIST Japan as well cause of Izuku being number one, but they wouldn't be angry if one of their boys was interested in dating boys.
How would you feel if I was dating a guy?
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"Hey mom, dad." You sat in bed next to your husband as Asahi entered your room. You had a book in your lap as you read and your husband was reading on his tablet a last minute report before heading to sleep himself. You both looked up from what you were doing, Asahi standing in his pyjamas, his glasses still on his face as he looked to the both of you. "Can I ask you something?"
You nodded your head as you put down your book. "Sure thing, love. What's going on?" You asked him. Izuku pressed the off button of the tablet, putting it to sleep as he removed his own glasses and looked to his second eldest son.
Asahi swallowed down as he looked up to the ceiling. You raised an eyebrow, knowing that that meant that he was about to tell you something that he wasn't sure how you would both react. You glanced at Izuku and he nodded showing he caught on as well.
"So... what should I do if someone asks me out on a date?" He asked.
Your eyebrows raised, before a bright smile went onto your face. "Oh really?" You asked surprised. Asahi was never one to be interested much in girls, never really talking about them nor about dating either. His nose always buried in a book or on a computer. "Who? Is it someone I know?"
Asahi let out a nervous breath. "Uh... yes?" He let out. You tilted your head at the way he sounded confused. "Well, no. But yes."
Izuku glanced at you, noticing that Asahi seemed rather tense. Izuku sighed as he straightened up where he sat. "Asahi, I'm glad a girl is interested in you, it's the Midoriya charm afterall." You rolled your eyes. "However, you know how your mother and I feel about you boys dating before high school."
"And that's fine. I wasn't going to say yes, I don't want to date right now." He told you both honestly. You let out a soft sigh in relief, glad that at least one of your babies weren't being a hooligan and scaring girl's fathers (Toshinori). "But how would you guys feel if I did date them?"
"Them?" You and your husband both asked. "Who?"
"A friend." You gave your son a look to show him that he should stop dancing around what he wanted to say. Asahi sighed as he put a hand to the back of his neck. "My friend... Junpei."
You and your husband both didn't say anything. Which made Asahi cringe as he sank back into his hoodie.
"Wait," Izuku sat up. "Junpei as in the weird quite boy with the short hair?"
Asahi blinked. "He's not weird!" He said defending his friend.
you hesitated but you nodded your head. "He is a bit weird, sweetheart. He doesn't seem like your type, but if you like him-"
There was a blush on his face as he looked to the both of you. "I don't like Junpei! This has nothing to do with him. It's just- How would you both feel if I was dating a guy?"
Izuku looked at you and you looked to Izuku. Izuku turned back to look at his son. "Are you gay?"
"WHAT- NO! I-" His face only deepened in the flush. "I don't know. I just- I don't feel weird about possibly dating a guy. Like I don't feel like it's..."
"Wrong?" You tried.
He nodded motioning to you. "Yah, it doesn't sound or feel wrong to me."
"Then okay." Izuku shrugged.
Asahi froze as he just stared at the both of you. "O-okay?"
"Yah." Izuku nodded. "As long as you're being safe and you don't make this your entire new identity or whatever, I don't care." Izuku turned to you as he scratched the back of his green hair. "I'm confused."
You chuckled as you put a hand on your husband's shoulder. "What your father is trying to say sweetheart is that, we can't dictate who you like and who you don't." You started explaining with a smile. "We can't decide whether you see that as a good thing or a bad thing. All we care about is that you are safe, you are kind and you stick to the values that we raised you in and that's all. If you want to try going out with boys, try and see how you feel if you feel the need to do so." You motioned to him.
"When you're older. Not now, you're only fourteen." Izuku interrupted.
You nodded in agreement. "What your father said."
Asahi paused but nodded, without a particular emotion. "Cool." He moved to exit your room. However he paused. Then before you know it, you and your husband found yourselves in a hug with Asahi, being pulled together by his arms. Your eyes widened in surprise as you looked to Izuku who looked down at Asahi. Asahi buried his face between the both of you. "Thanks." He said softly.
You couldn't help but smile as you pat his head. "Anytime, my little sprout."
-Glitch1d
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queermatcha · 3 days
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"Evan, just... talk to him. That man loves you and a little fight doesn't mean your relationship is over. Chim and I fight all the time!"
Buck swallowed thickly and he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. It was trembling and he felt tears sting in the corners of his eyes. He really didn't want to cry, but it was so hard to.
"Yeah, but you two... You're soulmates! You were made for each other!" Buck answered with a heavy sigh. He got up from where he was sitting on Tommy's couch in Tommy's living room and started pacing nervously.
This had been their first fight. Tommy had told Buck he needed to leave LA for two weeks for advanced in-service training somewhere in Arizona. The worst thing about this was the fact that Tommy couldn't even come home during those two weeks because of the intense hours of the training. Two weeks without his boyfriend? Buck had just... freaked out about it. One word had lead to another and then, Buck had accused Tommy of not even minding the fact that they'd be apart for two weeks. That maybe, he'd even find someone better at a training center full of other amazing pilots. Then, Tommy's phone had told him he needed to come to Harbor - there was a forest fire and he had been on standby all day. So, Tommy had went to the bathroom to get ready really quickly and Buck had called Maddie immediately.
"Evan, please calm down. Maybe it is not for me to say this, but I do think you and Tommy, that is a perfect fit. You'll be fine. Just talk to him."
Buck heard the bathroom door open again. "I need to go. Thanks, Maddie." He ended the call and looked up to see Tommy standing in the door frame, watching him. "I really hate that I need to go now," Tommy said and Buck swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat again, nodding. "Me too."
Tommy walked over to where Buck was standing and the young firefighter looked at his boyfriend with huge, wet eyes when Tommy's large hands cradled his face oh so gently.
"I love you, Evan," Tommy said and the sincerity in his eyes made Buck's heart flutter in his chest. "And I hate that we'll be separated for two weeks. And I will promise you that I'll still love you when I come back - maybe even more than I do now. I don't care about others, okay? You're the one I want."
Buck stared at him for a few seconds. "I love you too. I've- I've never felt like this for anyone before and I'm so scared to lose you and that's because I freaked out and fuck, I'm so sorry, I don't want to drive you away with being to clingy and too much, I-"
Tommy's lips brushed against Buck's. "You're not too much. You're all I want, Evan." The pilot said. "And fuck, I wish we could keep on talking about this, but I need to go. I love you, okay? And I can't wait to come back home to you."
Home. Tommy spoke of his apartment as their home. Buck laughed wetly, more tiny tears clinging to his eyelashes, with his heart fluttering in his chest. "I will wait for you to come home to me," he said. He leaned in to press a really soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips. "Be safe, Tommy." The gorgeous smile Buck loved so much was now back on his boyfriend's handsome face. Tommy nodded. "I promise."
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neerons · 19 hours
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Some of Gilbert von Obsidian's best quotes
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[Warning: Heavy spoilers about Gilbert's route]
"Ahaha, what is the prince of Obsidian, if not rotten?"
"I hate people."
"No matter how hard I try not to, I can't help but be gentle with her. What kind of villain am I?" (—Gilbert talking about Emma to himself)
"(...) I hope you don't accidentally end up calling me 'big bro' or anything." (—Gilbert to Leon)
"(...) You were just saying what you really think. I don't think doing that is rude. And it's true I'm someone scary."
"I like you because you're so warm, little rabbit."
"Ahaha! You're so sassy. But I like that about you."
"I want to make things awkward for you."
"You can't just focus on the best of someone while ignoring the worst of them."
"If you were a bother, I'd kill you, so don't worry." *smile intensifies*
"...I'm no match for that pure, innocent gaze of yours. You're the only one capable of pushing me around, you know."
"Depending on what you say next, I might just take your head clean off." (—Angry Gilbert to Emma)
"(...) You nearly died. ...Do you have any idea how much that chilled me to the core?"
"The only thing I can ever be for you is a villain. ...Unfortunately."
"...Thank you. I almost got murdered by some dust."
"If you keep on lying over and over about being fine, I might just... Well, you can guess, right?"
"I found it in a book in the little rabbit's room. They need to understand what happens to them if they try to interfere with what's mine... Don't they?" (—Gilbert talking about a poisoned needle targeting Emma to Roderic)
"You said it, remember? You said you wanted me to learn to love Rhodolite. To me, you are Rhodolite."
"Those born with status have the right to do whatever they like to those who are lesser than them. That's what you want to say, isn't it? (...) Hmm? What's that? You look a little distressed for some reason. But I suppose that's no surprise. You see, I have the right to tyrannize you however I please, just as you tyrannized those children who had no one to protect them. I'm imperial royalty, and you're just a third-rate aristocrat. So I'm going to have to teach you just how different our social positions are... Aren't I? (...) Aren't you lucky that we're in Rhodolite? You've narrowly escaped death. If this was Obsidian, you'd be dead for sure. After all, we have no need for disgusting nobles who defile the purity of children." (—Gilbert to a Baron of Rhodolite)
"Wait, so you're telling me you baked cookies for another man, even though I'm right here. Ouch, that hurts."
"(...) if by chance I run into your dear papa, he'll kill me." (—Gilbert talking about Akatsuki)
"Welcome to Obsidian. (...) I introduced myself as Gilbert von Obsidian, didn't I? There's only one person in this country allowed to use the Obsidian name. And that's the emperor."
"There's nothing about you or me that makes one of us intrinsically inferior or superior to the other. Humans are all basically the same. And naturally, from a societal perspective, we probably need people who can take the lead. People who are capable, and talented, who can bring others together, and build a better tomorrow. That's a healthy way to be. I'm the ruler of a country that knows deception and decay all too well, so I understand better than most. That's why my ideal, my ambition, is to conquer all the royalty that have infested this whole continent, and free the people who are under their control."
"I wrote that story based on you. (...) Akatsuki told me a lot of stories about you, and they were always stories about you showing love and affection for others. He made it sound like you believed that the true nature of people is love, and that the happiness of others was what made you the happiest. The idea of living like that was repulsive to me, but at the same time, it made me curious. I got to wondering what sort of choices you'd make, if you were in the same position I was."
"You were bullying small children to amuse yourselves. That Rhodolitian might have stopped at just punching you, but I'm not that kind. Did I make military regulations or didn't I? And do those regulations say attacking non-combattants is forbidden, or don't they?" (—Gilbert to Obsidianite soldiers)
"Then how about you call me papa?" (—Gilbert to Luke)
"...Don't go. (...) I don't know... if I can hold on... until you get back. Being on my own... is lonely..."
"...You're the only one I'll ever love."
"I'm taking your daughter." *smile intensifies* (—Gilbert to Akatsuki)
"I'm not oppressing you with my power, it's just my love for you, overflowing."
"You can't do things like this with other men... Unless you want to see dead bodies."
"You're liked by everybody. A lot of the princes helped you out today. That's because people adore you, and they naturally want to help you out. They're all beasts with strong characters, but you're important to all of them. Do you know how rare that is? That means you're charming to everyone you meet. ...Including me, of course."
"There's no way I'd ever let anyone else kill you. It has to be me."
"I can't just bare my body for free."
"I've never liked seeing you clothe your body in things that other people have put their hands all over."
"Don't force yourself to talk. I'm not so narrow-minded that I'll go around saying you're disrespectful just because you didn't thank me. You're sick; you're supposed to just drink medicine and sleep."
"Wah, boohoo. I can't believe we were on different pages this whole time. I've given you my entire heart, and yet, look at what you've done with it! (...) Waaah, I'm so heartbroken that the only thing that could bury my sadness is world domination!"
"For his sake, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear him call me 'eyepatch bastard'. Rude." (—Gilbert's thoughts about Silvio)
"Her ability to right what was wrong, purify what was once sullied... It runs at complete odds with my nature. I may have truly met my match." (—Gilbert's thoughts about Emma)
"I blinked a few times as my vision seemed to expand all at once... and the little rabbit become clearer and even more beautiful." (—Gilbert's thoughts about Emma)
"I'm never letting you go. If you run away from me, I'll conquer the whole world and follow you to the ends of the earth if that's what it takes. No wait... I just need to control your heart, so that you'll never even want to leave me." (—Gilbert's thoughts about Emma)
"We all approach life differently. Chevalier slices hearts in two. I trample on them. But, you... You respect them."
"I wanted to see you bawling your eyes out."
"You're... the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
"I like the little rabbit very much, you see. So I certainly hope that bold declaration of yours doesn't end up turning into a lie." (—Gilbert to Silvio, in Silvio's route)
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koolades-world · 2 days
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Heyy happy 2k followers man! Well deserved 🎉🎉
Can I request Asmodeus with prompt number 7? Thank you and congratulations on 2k once again!
thank you! of course i can!
you guys obviously haven't seen the rest of the requests yet but this event is telling me you guys really love asmo. i did not anticipate him being the most requested, but i don't mind writing more for him outside of this event if that's what the people want :)
enjoy <3
prompt 7 w/ Asmo
"Mc? Where are you? It's almost time to go! You know the party doesn't start until we get there." Asmo yelled out, searching the halls of the HoL looking for you. He'd checked your room and didn't find you, so instead, he decided to check the bathroom. He'd told you you could get ready in his bathroom, but you'd insisted you wanted your outfit to be a surprise.
"Asmo. I'm in here!" He was surprised to hear your voice coming from Mammon's room. That disheartened him a little, but he entered nonetheless. Mammon was actually nowhere to be found, but you were seated at his vanity, all your things scattered around on the table.
"What're you doing in here, you cutie? You look fabulous." He gave you a side hug, scanning your face.
"Thank you! I thought really hard about how to match this necklace." You placed a hand on your neck, showing off the centerpiece of your outfit. "Mammon wanted to go shower, so I just offered we swap places since all I needed was a mirror to do my hair." You resumed what you were doing before he walked in.
Asmo studied your outfit, admiring the color coordination and the way you used what you had available, but he eventually just started admiring you. You were more focused on what you were doing, but he was enthralled with you. The way you squinted a little when you focused and the way you unconsciously furrowed your eyebrows was endearing to him. He enjoyed these moments of peace with you before going out. While he lovingly stared at you, he realized the odd familiarity your outfit brough him.
"Is that my shirt?" He had given you free access to his closet, but this would be the first time you'd actually taken him up on that offer.
"It is! It was the last piece to my perfect outfit. Hope you don't mind." You beamed at him. He couldn't have been more happy.
"Do I! Of course I don't. You look absolutely darling in that shirt. In fact, I'm tempted to let you keep it, because you wear it better," he squealed. He plopped down in your lap and set his head on your shoulder. You looped one arm around him as best as you could to hold him in place. He loved the way you looked when you laughed.
"No, you should keep it so I always have an excuse to slip into your room." You continued fixing your hair as the two of you chatted.
"You're always welcome in my room silly." He wouldn't lie, he wanted you in his room every chance he got so he got all the time he wanted with you for himself.
"That's true. Still, keep the shirt. I think it looks cuter on you. Nobody can wear anything better than you." The way you smiled at him made him feel like he was the only demon in the Devildom.
"You know the way right to my heart! As long as you promise to come borrow it frequently." He conceded to you. He always caved to your demands.
"Cross my heart and hope to die." He knew that that was a human saying. He still didn't full understand it, but he recognized the emotion infused within in it. The way you said the words was more than enough for him to know what you wanted to convey to him.
"Ah, I just adore you. We're late to that party by now, but that's fine. We're fashionably late, and besides, I'd skip any party to spend time with you." He began to play with the baby hairs at the back of your neck, sighing contently. He hoped you understood the meaning behind his words. He was far too scared to say the L word, afraid of scaring you off, but he always tried his best in his actions to help you understand his words unspoken.
As if you heard what he was thinking, you said, "I feel the same. If you wouldn't mind, do you think we could just sit like this for a little bit longer? I love us time." Asmo felt his heart catch in this throat at the mention of the very word he was petrified of using.
"Yes, but not too long. I don't want Mammon to ruin this moment. We can canoodle at the party too, you know." He remembered at some point that they were in Mammon's room, and that he could be back at any moment. He'd for sure break up the fun they were having.
"I have an idea, then. Hang on tight." The last thing he was expecting was for you to get a tighter grip on him and stand up with him in your arms. He playfully shrieked and used that excuse to huddle closer to you. He loved you, in a way he'd never knew he could love before. He just never anticipated it would be a human that made him feel the way he did. It didn't matter to him though. Perhaps someday he could muster up the courage to utter those three simple words to you.
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missvelvetsstuff · 9 hours
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No Benefits
Bucky x Reader
Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.
Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.
Notes: Steve, Nat and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon
Chapter 9
Warnings: Swearing, angst
Bucky spent the next week the same way he spent the previous week, since Cookie left, seeing Dr Raynor every day and writing to Cookie after his sessions. Raynor had suggested it. Of course, she told him to bare his soul and dispose of the letters but he felt the need to finally reach out to Cookie. He needed to tell her the whole truth even if she had moved on with that rich guy in Boston.
So he wrote everything and mailed them to the new address that was listed for her on the SWORD employee directory. He wanted to go see her but didn't know if she wanted to see him so just kept writing and sending the letters, almost every day.
A couple of nights after she disappeared, Natasha showed up in Bucky's room in the middle of the night, waking him up as she sat on his groin. Before he could even think about anything he had her pinned to the wall with his vibranium hand around her throat. He kept her there as he shook the sleep off, his hand tight enough to hold her there but not so tight that she couldn't breathe or speak.
"Nat? What the Hell?"
She smirked "I was going to wake you up with a surprise." Licking her lips "Do you remember how much I loved the arm? This feels different than the titanium but not in a bad way." and moaning "Show me what it does, Soldat."
Bucky flinched at the name and pulled his hand away from her.
"No, Natalia, I don't want you. After everything that's happened I don't want anything to do with you. Why can't you understand?"
Nat snapped back "I was being controlled and manipulated too you know. Where's my forgiveness?"
Bucky shook his head "I know you were but you keep acting like you were before so I have to wonder how contrite you really are." He sighed "You need to get to medical. Sharon was checked out and that serum was still affecting her but the docs gave her something to counteract it and she's better now. You're still under some level of Antonia's control, don't you want to get out from under it?"
Nat rubbed up against him "Please, I'm fine. Besides Buck, we were good together before. Don't you remember?"
Bucky sighed "I remember two people in a completely fucked situation that needed some human companionship. That's all."
Nat tried to convince him, reaching out "But, Bucky-"
"No!" he grabbed her outstretched hand and didn't let go when she twisted around and kicked him in the gut. Instead he grabbed her ankle with his vibranium hand and pulled so she hit the floor, knocking the wind out of her, then sat on her straddling her hips and held both wrists.
Nat caught her breath before she realized the position they were in. She smirked and started to wiggle under him "This is definitely something I can work with."
Bucky quickly stood and pulled her up with him just as Sam showed up.
Sam smirked "Looks like the Wolf caught a spider. We can take her to a holding cell until Dr Cho gets here in the morning."
He held up some zip ties and after a short struggle they secured her wrists.
Nat started to squirm "Come on Barnes, let me go. I can't believe you would lock me up after all we've been through."
As he pushed her ahead of him Bucky scoffed "All we've been through is even more reason to lock you up."
He flinched when Nat kicked back and her heel hit his shin "Dammit Romanoff, knock it off. It's only till morning and Dr Cho will take care of you. Sharon had additional treatment and is back to normal."
When they arrived in the holding area Bucky cut the zip tie, pushed Nat into a holding cell, made sure the cell was properly secured and turned the lights off. "Sleep tight."
Nat started yelling and banging on the wall as they walked away which made Sam chuckle. Bucky sighed in relief knowing there was more work to do but getting Nat neutralized was a great start.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday, Cookie was the topic of all the most interesting water cooler conversations but she tried to ignore it and get her work done.
Until Tyler knocked on her open office door.
Cookie looked up smiling "Good morning, Tyler. Come on in, have a seat. What can I do for you?"
Tyler looked grim as he stood over her "I'm sure you are aware of the current office gossip."
Cookie shrugged "Yes, I know but it's gossip. I don't pay it much mind."
Tyler glared at her "It's disruptive. You can't just run around doing whatever you want, you know. You don't have the Avengers to protect you here so better learn to behave appropriately on and off the clock."
Cookie stood to her full height and rolled her shoulders back before she spoke, looking straight in his eyes
"I'm only going to say this once, since my arrival here seems to have thrown you off of your groove. I don't report to you, you are not my boss and you have no seniority or rank over me. I don't need anyone to protect me because I'm the best at my job and I've done nothing wrong. I went to a book launch and was seen with the grandson of the author in question. Fully clothed, barely touching the entire time we were in public."
Tyler smirked "And in private? Drysdale has quite the reputation."
Cookie bristled "None of your goddamn business. That's why it's called private. If you can't control your staff then I'd be happy to offer some ideas in that regard but don't come in here trying to shame me for my legal actions in my personal time."
She sat back down and started going through her in-box for a couple of minutes before realizing he was still there.
She scoffed "Was there anything else? I have work to do."
Tyler's face flushed red, he shook his head and stomped away to his office.
Cookie sighed, so many men thinking they have power over women just because they were men. Fewer than before but still too many for her taste. She hoped Tyler would get the message and grow up.
Cookie went to the diner on the first floor for lunch with Annie, who insisted on all the details so she could live vicariously since her life was all marriage and a teething baby right now.
Annie sighed "How fun. Sounds like he really swept you off of your feet. When are you seeing him again?"
Cookie chuckled "Beats me. That wasn't the first chapter in an NC17 fairy tale, it was just two people having some fun, so I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I suppose the odds are good since we work a few buildings apart but I have nothing planned. He doesn't really seem like the prince charming type anyhow."
Annie frowned "Aawww, that's too bad seeing how he is rich and hot but his reputation does precede him. At least he was a good one nighter, I've had plenty that couldn't even be bothered to make me cum."
Cookie laughed out loud "I didn't know that was a problem with women partners."
Annie winked "I never said they were all women but some women are just as bad as some men."
"Well that's depressing."
Cookies alarm went off "That's time, back to the salt mines."
When they arrived back on their floor, there was a crowd by Cookies office and excited murmuring.
Annie stayed back by her desk to watch as Cookie worked her way through the crowd. "Alright folks, nothing to see, everyone back to work becau-" she stopped at the doorway to her office and her eyes grew wide when she saw him sitting at her desk "Oh, hey you" she smiled and rushed into his arms, shocking everyone who was watching.
Nick Fury smiled at her "I wanted to come check up on you before I go to the compound and kick some Avenger ass."
He glared at the people still gawking "Don't you people have some work to do?" and chuckled as they all scattered back to their desks.
Cookie grinned "You should have told me you were coming, I would have waited for you and we could have had lunch."
Nick shrugged "I don't know if anyone has told you but I'm the boss so do things when and how I like."
He closed her office door and they both sat.
"So I know what happened at the compound but why don't you tell me your version."
Cookie shrugged "Nothing really happened. I just realized how difficult seeing me around, reminding them of what they were forced to do, was for Bucky, Sharon and Nat. I didn't want to make their recovery any more difficult."
Nick sighed "What about you and your recovery? Your trauma started before Antonia kidnapped you. I know you and Barnes-"
Cookie shook her head "No, no. I don't want to go there. I'm fine recovering here."
Nick looked at her pointedly "I was going to say you and Barnes were good friends, not to mention Wilson. Now you're here in a new town, new office and separated from your friends. I don't think thats great for you.
I want you back at the compound, asap."
"No, Nick I just, I can't, I-"
Nick softened his tone "Look, not today or even tomorrow but this isn't a permanent move. Stay here a bit, get the analysts in line and please, please keep your boot on Tyler's neck as he has gotten too comfortable thinking he's top dog. But 6 months. A year tops and I want you home. If they have issues I'll deal with them." He looked at his watch and sighed "Speaking of, I need to go ream me some super heroes."
He kissed her on the cheek and left.
A couple of hours later when she went to get more coffee she saw Tyler glaring at her from his office. Jackass, she thought to herself as she gave him a cheery smile and wave. She saw him get up and felt him slam the door because it made the whole floor shake. She laughed all the way back to her desk.
When Cookie arrived home there was a stack of envelopes on the floor under the mail slot. She sighed, picked them up and sat down at the table to go through them. Most went to the trash but there were 3 plain white envelopes with the same writing and return address as the one from the night before.
She sighed and put them with the first letter Bucky sent here, unsure if she was ready to deal with that yet. She ordered Thai for dinner and went to take a quick shower before her food arrived.
Clean and dressed in pj's, Cookie sat on the couch with a glass of wine, a plate of food and the letters from Bucky next to it. She drank, ate and watched the news while regularly looking at the letters, trying to decide what to do about them.
On one hand she was curious about the contents. Especially because there were four now. Why would he write four times? What did he have to say that couldn't have been said in the first letter?
On the other hand, she was feeling more at peace than she had any time in the last,  well however long since she slept with Bucky and wasn't sure she was ready to risk disturbing that peace yet.
Cookie knew that eventually she would need to deal with all of this. Bucky and her feelings for him, plus Nat and Sharon and that whole drama.
She finished her dinner then refilled her wine and grabbed a special brownie to help her sleep.
Eventually but not tonight.
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devdevlin · 14 hours
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A brief (and inappropriate) retelling of Hermione's polyjuice incident.
DON'T ASK. I don't know where this came from, ok? Ok. My pregnancy brain is fried and apparently, I don't know what shame is anymore, so here you go, have an odd and uncalled for drabble. I'd say don't judge me... but tbh, I probably deserve it 🤷‍♀️
"Ahh!"
At the distant, high-pitched scream, Tom slowly lowered his newspaper.
There was a concerning stretch of silence, until a quiet shuffling from upstairs started; hurried, panicked footsteps, ones that told him he needn't get up. Whatever the problem was, it would undoubtedly come to him.
Tom resumed his reading.
Sure enough, not even five minutes later, and the footsteps gradually pattered their way down the stairs.
"...Tom?" he soon heard echoing in from the other room.
"...Yes?"
"Can you... I think I need your..."
Hermione, he knew, would rather eat her own pants than come to him for help, and so, properly intrigued, Tom folded his paper and put it aside. "What's wrong?"
There was another pause and some more shuffling from the doorway, before a quiet, "do you promise not to laugh?"
Tom laughed. "That will depend on what you're about to say."
"Tom!"
"Tell me what's wrong."
"Promise you won't laugh!"
"Fine, fine, I won't laugh," he promised, leaning forward eagerly in his chair. "Just come out. You're starting to worry me."
Another stretch of quiet. But then, right as Tom was about to get up and force her out—
Hermione stepped into the room.
Tom prided himself on his self-control. It was one of his best qualities, one that set him far apart from the rest of his peers, but even he wasn't above snorting at the sight of her.
She immediately turned and walked back out.
Tom, at a complete loss, covered his mouth and muffled his chortling as he got up and followed after her. "I'm sorry," he called out. "Wait, really— I'm sorry. It just wasn't what I was expecting, that's all."
He caught her in the kitchen, where she whirled back and glared at him. "You promised!"
"I did, I know. I'm sorry," he said, but he wasn't really. Because with a pair of ginger ears and a squashed nose, with her pants riding low enough on her hips for a long, bushy tail to poke out the top, she looked... hilariously...
Cute.
"Are you going to help me or not?!" she snapped, gesturing to herself.
Tom looked her down and up, taking her all in. Huh. She had claws, too. "How did this happen?"
"I... a little bit of polyjuice, is all. But I must've added the wrong hair..."
"It would seem so," he said. "Whatever were you playing with polyjuice for?"
"I... well... I just wanted to... surprise you," she admitted. "I know you don't like to celebrate, but I thought... it's your thirtieth. I had to do something, and I thought this might be a way to do it that you'd be okay with."
"You thought I'd like it if your gift... was yourself in the form of a cat?"
"No! No, not a cat..."
"Who were you supposed to be, then?" he asked suspiciously.
"...N-no one."
"Hermione."
"I..." she sighed, and then grudgingly muttered, "I was trying to turn myself into you."
This time, he tried—he really did—but his laugh couldn't be helped.
"Tom!"
"Sorry, sorry," he repeated, "I'm sorry. But, honestly, why would you—"
"I have another batch upstairs," she said, flushing. "Once I was you, I was going to come down and offer you the other batch, so that you could turn into me, and then... I thought we could... you know."
Slowly, as her words sunk in, Tom grinned a wide, involuntary grin. "Actually... now that you say that... I'm not quite sure I do know," he said, stepping towards her. "Why don't you tell me more?"
Hermione crossed her arms. "This is humiliating enough without you rubbing it in! You know what I mean!"
"Do I?"
Her ears flattened.
"Well..." he said, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing again as he closed further in. "As unfortunate as this all is... it doesn't all have to be for nought. Maybe we can still... make this work."
"...I beg your pardon?"
"Just me... you..." He leaned into her and reached around to trail his hand along her thigh, until he reached the base of her tail at her waistband. He gently gripped the base. "...and your tail..."
He slipped his fingers down the length of it, over the silken, ginger fur, until she swatted him off.
"No! I— stop that!"
"Why?" he said. "It'll take hours to wear off. I can think of several good uses for all this until then."
"Absolutely not!" she snapped, pushing back from him. "Wh-what do you mean, good uses?"
"What do you think I mean?"
"I... I think that if you can't help me, then I'd rather not know about—ahh!"
As she'd turned to storm off, Tom took hold of her tail and pulled, hard enough that she stumbled back, her back colliding flush against his front.
"Something like this, I think," he murmured low in her ear, keeping his grip on her tail tight, holding her in place.
"Tom, that—ow, that hurts."
"Good."
She tugged to free herself, but Tom didn't let go, and twisted them to shove her forward, pinning her between himself and the counter.
"Ow, I mean it!" she hissed.
"So do I," he drawled, and now that he had her pinned, he took her tail in his other hand too, and sliding it up, right to the base, and stroking down its length firmly. "Tell me... what does it feel like?"
The tip of her tail twitched against his leg at his touch. "It's... ah, um," she squeaked. "Sensitive."
"Is it? Well, why don't we find out just how sensitive it is..."
"Tom—"
"Shh, shh," he shushed, slipping his fingers around the tail and down, down beneath the waistband of her pants to where the fur ended and the smooth patch of skin just below it started.
He felt it as she shivered and a tremor jolted up her spine, joined by a quiet, gentle—
"Oh," he breathed, "you can purr?"
"I... I didn't know... I didn't mean to..."
Tom laughed into her neck. She sounded mortified.
"It's all right," he told her, stroking even lower, brushing right against where the skin became silky and started to pucker. "I don't mind, but... now that you mention it, I do wonder how it'd feel if you purred with my dick in your—"
"Tom!"
"I'm just curious. It is my birthday, after all..."
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thebluester2020 · 1 day
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[SDV] Infection AU
Summary: It was supposed to be another day on the farm. You'd wake up, check the mail, feed the animals, maybe even go into town to pick up some new seeds! But...when the wizard suddenly appears at your door to tell you that a mysterious plague had fallen upon Pelican Town and Ridgeside Valley, causing the townspeople to morph into hideous flesh-eating creatures while also emboldening the monsters of the Mines and Ridge to come out and attack all who aren't affected, you and your spouse stand as one of the few who aren't amongst the affected but...how do you both survive such a horrid new reality?
Warning(s): Some explicit character death (I've played Dead Space y'all, I'm not holding back on kids being man-eating monsters), Some good ol' angst, the Farmer really shines as a monster-slayer here, Y'all are gonna hate me for Shane's part and I'm not elaborating on that,
Note(s): I've been CRYING out for someone to make an Infection AU of Stardew ever since I saw it trend for MLP on TikTok. But hey, as they say, want something done? Do it yourself ig. I decided to only include three bachelors because A. I want to make a part 2 sometime since it's way too long as it is tbh and B. I NEED TO MAKE FANART OF THIS AU DUDE. I LOVE ZOMBIES AND DEAD SPACE MONSTERS
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
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About a week ago, Marlon had told you that an emergency commission had come up, one that was apparently so important that it needed to be put as your main priority over any other commissions you may have had at the moment. At the time, you didn't have a mind to think much of it when he explained the nature of the commission, that it was brought forth to him by an anonymous source. The commission spoke of a monster, one that displayed an "Alpha-like" nature over the rest of the monsters and was far more aggressive than the others.
Since the moment you took on this commission and began searching for this mysterious creature, you had a mind to think that Marlon was finally beginning to lose his sanity as you hadn't once spotted this mysterious creature...at least, until it was too late.
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Sebastion : "The Long Walk Home"
You couldn't sleep.
You had been tossing and turning in your bed for hours before you finally decided to get up and go to the mines. And the culprit for your sleepless night? The emergency commission that was thrown to you by Marlon around two weeks ago. The fine details of the commission were forgotten by you by now but basically, the older man had went on and on about how this creature was a major threat to not just the region of Stardew Valley but potentially everywhere close to it!
The monster was described to be as big as a fully-grown Pepper Rex. Thankfully it was unable to breathe fire but it came with a different quirk, which was the fact it had a disgusting ooze about its skin. One that was rumored to make you dizzy and eventually burning with rage if you breathed in the smell for too long.
If you were to be honest with yourself, you thought Marlon was exaggerating a little.
And that thought only grew more and more as you continued to search through the deeper levels of the cavern with your poor spouse trailing behind you.
"What's this monster called again?" Sebastion said from behind you.
The two of you had been searching for hours now, looking under every rock and peeking into any crevice you could find in hopes of at least getting some type of hint as to what this creature was and where it may have been. "Don't know," You yawned. "Marlon didn't give me a name, just a description." You said, patting your cheeks to try and keep yourself awake as you started to feel a bout of sleepiness wash over you.
"It's really important and really dangerous as well." You added on before you looked behind you. "You know, you didn't have to come...you know that right, Sebby?"
Your husband flashed you a shy smile. When he had drowsily woken up to the blurry sight of you putting on your boots and clothes, grabbing your weapon from the weapon's rack. He stopped you and insisted on coming along with you. It wouldn't have been his first time venturing into the mines, especially in regards to the deeper levels, and he was good with a sword as well! But, more than anything? If this creature was so dangerous...he couldn't bear the thought of you facing it by yourself, even if he wasn't up to your level in terms of swordsmanship.
He at least wanted to offer support.
"I didn't have to but I wanted to. I won't let my spouse face a boss-level monster alone." The joke made you giggle a little before you stopped in your tracks and sighed.
"Well..." You took out your phone to check the time.
It was going on three in the morning and you had a busy day tomorrow. You had planned to visit the Skull Cavern in search of more iridium as well as buy some more Starfruit seeds from Sandy! "Think we should call it a night? I'm getting sleepy and I want to take a shower."
Your husband's brow rose a little. "You sure? You've been at this commission for around a week now, right? Maybe tonight is when you can finally finish it."
As he sheathed his sword, you snickered teasingly as you pinched his cheek, resulting in the man's cheeks beginning to tint ever so slightly. "I've taken longer on other things, besides, I feel bad making you trail after me. Plus, I don't think it would be a good idea to face a boss level monster while we're both tired as shit, right?"
Sebastion nodded his head in agreement before the two of you started off in the direction of the ladder. He never minded following you, no matter how long it took, in his eyes? Spending even a single millisecond longer around you was much more preferred compared to spending that time all by himself similar to how he did in the basement. But, once the two of you were out of the mines and felt the cool night air on your skin once again...immediately, you felt that something was...off.
When things suddenly became too quiet in the mines, you knew that there was something dangerous in the air.
The same could be applied to the outside. More or less, you don't think you'd ever felt unsafe out in the town but...tonight was different.
So, you slowly unsheathed your sword. "What is it?" Sebastion said.
"Something's not right- GAH!" You suddenly shouted and dropped your weapon when the wizard suddenly appeared in front of you, making you fall to your bum as your chest heaved up and down in fright.
But as you quickly picked up your sword and got up, about to tell the man off. Your words caught in your mouth when you noticed the wizard's appearance. He looked...bloodied and bruised, scratched in some places too. A stark difference from the typically noble and wise air he gave off. "Farmer, are you and your spouse okay?" He quickly asked as he checked you over.
Your eyes widened as he took your arm and looked you over. "W-We're fine..." You answered before he then walked over to Sebastion, looking over him like a worried mother hen. "Why? What's wrong? Why are you bloody?"
"Something's happened," He said. "The townspeople...they're-"
Your blood ran cold. "What happened?" Sebastion asked for the both of you.
"The townspeople-" A shrill yet guttural howl rang out through the air, interrupting the wizard and causing him to suddenly raise his hand before a strange see-through rune appeared out of thin air near the entrance into the mines.
"Why did you-"
"Half of the town is dead," The wizard said, a little bit more quietly this time. "There's some type of...virus going through the air. It's turning the townspeople into twisted versions of themselves."
Your breath caught in your throat as your mind immediately went to the monster you and your husband were just searching for a few minutes ago. "I-Is it...is it related to the-"
"No," You let a sigh of relief. "The virus is related to the Shadow people, however, that creature that you were tasked to kill may have been a variant of them."
A guttural roar from outside made all three of you jump, your heart pounding in your chest as you took Sebastion and tried to lead him to the train cart. "Well then, as fun as it is to talk to you wizard...we need to go-"
"I wouldn't recommend the train cart." He said.
Sebastion looked back. "Why?"
"Because the creatures are fast enough to keep up with a moving train cart."
You clenched your free hand, exhaling through your nose. "Then what do we do?"
"You sneak back to your farmstead. I have placed a barrier around your farm, protecting your animals and eventually you and your spouse's until you return."
"What about the monsters?"
"The barrier seems to have made the area invisible to their eye. So far, they haven't gone near."
Your attention then went to Sebastion as the prospect of sneaking back to your farm to avoid a horde of monster-turned-villagers was...frightening to say the least. Sure, you've had moments in the Mines where you've snuck past monsters and managed to somehow fool ghosts but this? You couldn't help the chill that went throughout your body, especially seeing as your spouse was going to be right there beside you. "Sebastian." You said.
Although he didn't look at you on account of looking down at the ground, his brows furrowed in thought. He at least hummed in acknowledgment of his name. "What are you thinking?" You continued.
"This is dangerous."
You scoffed, that was putting it mildly. "No kidding, but...I'm worried about you. The quickest way back to our farm is past your family's home and-"
Although you didn't continue with your sentence, Sebastion understood what you meant. You were afraid for him, you were afraid for his family and the potential happening that they were...not human anymore. You didn't wish that type of pain upon anyone, especially your husband. And if the both of you needed to take a longer, more dangerous route to hopefully keep his sanity safe. You were willing to make that sacrifice.
Eventually, Sebastion sighed. "I'm fine," He said before fully turning to you. He rubbed his hands up and down your arms. "Right now? You're my most important family, so long as you're safe? I'll live, I'll be okay."
"That's not what I meant-"
"You two," The wizard interjected gruffly. "The night wears on, it grows more dangerous by the minute and I need to try and secure as many more areas as I can. You must leave."
You both nodded in his direction before you looked back at Sebastion. "Ready?"
"No," He dryly chuckled before his hand rested on his weapon. "But, I have your back."
"Good luck you two, I'll make sure to check back in with you both in a few days."
When the wizard disappeared, so did the rune that was on the exit of the cave. Allowing you and Sebastion to quietly tiptoe out of the cave and...out into the silent night.
And by Yoba's name, it was eerie. You wanted to suspect that the Adventurer's Guild would be hustling and bustling by now, maybe Marlon would be attempting to gather as many weapons in a bid for them to be readily available for anyone who would need them. Maybe he'd be trying to make sure Gil was safe but...as you slapped a hand over your mouth to withhold a gasp, you saw the blood splatters on the ground.
Had he...
Sebastion came up behind you to gently shield your eyes away from the sight, gently urging you to keep walking. "C'mon," He whispered as the two of you made your way to the steps where the blood splatters continued to grow in frequency as well as the amount of blood that was shed until...you started to spot oddities with the blood.
On the side, there was purple blood, the stench was terrible. Like cow dung mixed with charcoal. A little further up near the curve of the path next to the bridge that lead over the small stream was a weapon, Marlon's sword no doubt, before more blood splotches started to appear again only...slowly but surely, they morphed into a more purplish color- "Hide," You whisper-yelled as you dragged Sebastion into some bushes the second you heard a deep clicking from up ahead.
Quickly the two of you crouched down, you took up the task of just barely peeking out from behind the bushes to get a good look of what was making the sound until...you saw it.
Easily, it stood as tall as a fully grown Pepper Rex and it walked on four legs like one too.
Its entire form was the shade of a raven's feather and it hulked with muscle lurking underneath its seemingly armored skin. Yet a peculiar detail to note was its lack of a mouth before your eyes trailed down to its paws where claws as long as your forearm lay, bloodied and some even having remnants of skin still stuck to the tips of them.
But...when you looked back at the face of the stalking creature.
Then you noticed the scar over one of its glowing purple eyes.
'Marlon...' You thought as your eyes started to brim with tears.
But the creature- or...Marlon didn't stay around for very long. He only looked side to side with a hiss before it stalked onwards, its thudding footsteps slowly fading away.
You and Sebastion waited a few more minutes until you finally decided it was safe enough to keep moving. Your hearts pounded in your chests as you made your way across the small bridge, each squeaky step setting off an alarm bell within you that screamed out that you were going to get caught any second. But, thankfully, the next long stretch of road was where Robin's home was.
Maybe- "Hey," Sebastion whispered before he pulled you to the side, around a corner where you both were decently hidden from sight.
"Should we stop by my mom's house? Maybe-"
"Of course," You didn't have to be convinced to see inside your in-laws house. Though, for whatever reason Sebastion wanted to, you yourself just wanted to check up on his parents and his half-sister. If everything hadn't gone to complete shit yet then...they'd still be alive and you could take them with the both of you and let them live on your farm.
"We'll need to be careful though." You sighed as your mind flashed back to Marlon, taking out your weapon.
"Y/N, they haven't-"
Your eyes narrowed. "I thought that way too, with Marlon." Sebastion huffed. "I'm keeping the weapon out," You pressed before you resumed taking the lead, your weapon out in front of you as the two of you lightly jogged until you were at Robin's house where...everything seemed to be fine.
Aside from the lights being out that is.
"Maybe they're sleeping?" You said, hopefully.
"We can go in through the garage." Without another word, your husband crouched down and tried to gently open the garage, the harsh squeaking making him and you freeze in your places for a second before he continued a little more until it was high enough for the both of you to squeeze under. But, once the two of you were in you slowly opened the door to the inside of the house.
Still, it was so eerily quiet...like death was waiting just around the corner.
"Get some food from the kitchen, I'll watch-"
"I'm fine," Sebastion said, gesturing to the sword on his hip. "I'll see if there's anything just...please, make sure my mom and sister are okay. Wake them up, anything."
You nodded your head before you walked off and looked around the house.
Your first stop was Sebastion's old room. You slowly creaked open the door and all you saw was nothing, nothing but Sebastion's old things and the smell of growing dust in the air.
So, you turned your attention to upstairs.
All before you stopped the second you heard dripping sounds upon the wooden floor. Your breath caught in your throat and your mouth went dry the second your mind immediately flipped back to Marlon and his monster-turned state, if it could happen to him then...it was obvious it could happen to anyone. But, for the sake of your husband? You prayed to whatever god was listening to you at this moment that his family hadn't experienced a similar fate.
Yet as you followed the noise all the way until you reached the end of the hallway, where you could see Robin and Demetrius' door slightly ajar. You tried to quietly tiptoe your way to the door before your jaw nearly dropped to the floor. An organ hung from the top of the door, the dripping noise being the- the blood...a gorey trail of flesh, blood, and even more intestines trailed all the way to the bed where...there Robin and Demetrius' bodies lay as a monster feasted upon whatever was still left inside of their cracked open stomachs.
What do you tell Sebastion?
Do you even tell him at all?
He couldn't know about this...you saw it in his eyes, the worry and concern he had for his sister and mother.
He'd be beyond heartbroken and you didn't think you had the strength to tell him, not right now when...maybe, j-just maybe you were seeing things. And you, oh so desperately, tried to convince yourself that you didn't see Robin and Demetrius' crops as you slowly continued to back up until you were in the kitchen once more where Sebastion was currently putting different canned foods in a backpack he must've taken out from his room.
"Did you see anything?"
You immediately tried to wash off the horror on your face. "N-Nothing," You stammered. "Just...nothing, it was dark."
As Sebastion slung the backpack over his shoulders, his brow quirked up a little. "Are you sure? You look like you saw something, you can tell me."
You shook your head again, placing your hands on his arms before you gently leaned your forehead into his chest. A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you shook your head. "No...I-I'm fine, I promise. I'm just still- I'm still thinking about e-earlier, M-Marlon and all."
"Oh," He gently rubbed his hand in a circle on your back. "Everything's going to be fine." He said. "We'll always come out on top, okay?"
Although you nodded your head to try and get him to follow you out of the house quicker, you couldn't help but doubt him just a little.
Robin and Demetrius were gone and his sister was turned.
You don't think that image would ever leave your head, those familiar traits of Maru still present despite her warped form. Like how Maru's form still had traces of that familiar purple undershirt she'd wear over her overalls or how there seemed to be cracked pieces of glass on her face, illuminated by the faint light of the moon.
However...one day you'd gain the courage to tell your husband what you really saw, for as you slowly approached the end of the path that led onto the farm.
Your only focus was making sure the two of you survived from now on.
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Sam : "Pack Starter"
How did the apocalypse start?
A seemingly simple and straightforward question. But in truth? Depending on the person at least, it was rather broad and filled with so many possibilities, all depending on where you were personally from the start.
For some? They may have not first noticed that anything was amiss. Perhaps they were out in the woods taking a hike or maybe at home sleeping, looking at a movie rather than trying to watch the news! It would be a normal day or not until all they saw was...carnage.
Others, their start may have been more brutal. Being out in the city or in a place where a lot of people gathered was a rather "in your face" start to the end of the world. People would be screaming in terror as they ran for their lives, trampling happening at every turn as everyone would quickly turn to making sure they stayed alive and worried about other people last.
Perhaps some would take the new world and quickly decide on doing the essentials.
Rushing for weapon stores and grabbing anything that they could.
Food.
Maybe even to see their families.
All valid but...completely unlike how your introduction to the end of the world was for the apocalypse came to you last. It was peaceful in Pelican Town, about a few hours away from the nearest city! Nothing extreme happened here unless you wanted to count your trips to the Mines, the Skull Cavern, or even Louis and Marnie's not-too-secret relationship.
Of course, that was until tonight happened.
Where you were rushing door to door with Marlon after he woke you up by pounding on your front door and screaming to get up and grab your weapon.
You didn't need to be told the exact details to know that it was bad.
Despite your groggy, freshly awoken state. You made the immediate moves to barricade and secure your farm from whatever threat made Marlon's hair turn grayer than gray, but...when you had spotted one of the monsters outside of your farm. Your memory of your commission flashed back to you, of what you were supposed to do but the monster was as elusive as a slippery fish. The creature seemed to size you up and down almost, all before it slipped away and rushed to terrorize someone else.
"Fuck," You had whispered after locking the last barn door before your legs carried you back to your home to see if your husband, Sam had waken up yet. "Sam!" You cried out as you slammed the door open, expecting him to still be deeply asleep in your bed, ready to be woken up by you until...he wasn't.
Panic immediately filled your being as a cold sweat broke out on your forehead.
He was just here.
The both of you were cuddled up beside one another until you got up to open the door.
"Sam?" You went to another part of the house, upstairs this time. "Sam!? Sam! Where are you!?" You cried out. As you rushed all around the house like a headless chicken, you felt like a madperson. You were cursing at yourself, you should've checked on him first before anything else! Yet as you tried to slow yourself down and think, consider the options of where he may have gone, your mouth became dry inside of your mouth as you thought of the one place you knew he'd most likely immediately go the second anything went wrong in this town.
Home.
And with your answer, you took the extra few minutes to shuffle into clothes more suited for running rather than your bedtime clothes before you dashed in the direction of town. And when you arrived...the sight of multiple fires and the scent of ash filled your senses as you looked around.
Monsters that resembled four-legged versions of shadow people roamed the cobblestone streets. Howling in triumph as some carried bodies within their large jaws whilst others tried to scratch and claw their way into homes that seemed to be locked and barricaded securely. However, as you quickly crouched behind a bush, a creature stomped its way by.
You got the faintest peek at its claws.
Like daggers, you thought. Sharp enough to cut straight through a tree without even breaking a sweat. And as your eyes continued to tail the creature, it walked through fire without even seeming to let out a noise resembling pain.
The lava katana that you tightly gripped within your palm.
You couldn't help the slight feeling of fear that began to grip you at the thought that a powerful weapon like yours couldn't even think to burn it at the very least.
But, you shook the thought from your head as you pressed forward, sneaking down the same path you would've usually taken to get to Sam's house until you heard a shrill scream, causing you to pick up the pace every so slightly until...your stomach lurched at the sight of blood and innards.
Blood flooded the once heavenly green grass and intestines littered the streets, walls of homes and dangled from the tops of fences. Effectively turning the town into hell on earth until you finally reached the street Sam's home was on, causing you to stand up straight and- "Sam!" You screamed before you could think when you saw him kneeling, his body shaking ever so slightly here and there until you quickly slowed down when...
When you saw Jodi, her ribcage was exposed and cracked open as she was feasted upon a smaller version of the monsters you saw earlier.
Yet...you recognized that yellow and red striped shirt- or at least, the tatters of it that hung off from the creature. Its smaller yet nonetheless sharp claws bloodied as the body of Kent lied not too far away from his wife's.
"S-Sam..." You said gently, almost a whisper as you both tried to get to him first as well as not disturb the monster from its meal. "Honey, l-let's go. Please."
"Vincent..." Those were the first words he uttered, his voice shaky and clearly holding back a sob. "Vincent." He repeated.
This time, the creature looked up with a tilt of its head and a strange insect-like chitter. All before it slowly moved away from its meal and started to stalk towards Sam.
You readied your weapon, your eyes narrowing as you recognized that hunter-like crouch from similar monsters, both in the Mines and the Skull Cavern.
"B-Buddy?" Sam said, hopefully. "Vincent, we can fix this. Y-Y/N can help fix you, they know a lot of things! They can help, we can bring Mom and Dad-" Before you knew it, the monster launched itself towards Sam with a high-pitched snarl, causing you to spring into action and shove Sam aside before you swung your sword.
"NO!" You heard Sam scream from the top of his lungs, your eyes wide and your sword dripping with black blood as the monster hung off the end of your sword for a moment before...it fell to the ground with a heavy thud.
Still.
Dead.
"S-Sam." You said once the shock started to wash off from you. "Honey, that-"
Sam answered with a sharp inhale as you could've sworn his normally soft blue eyes turned red when he glared at you, tears streaming down his face before he looked back at the creature. You were about to crouch down and try to comfort your husband, make him see where you were coming from and your reason for doing what you did until...you heard snarls from the distance.
You'd have to put your emotions to the side for a little while longer.
Sam, he was allowed to be upset at you for as long as he needed to until he understood.
And until you both got out of this situation alive.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
Shane: "Supplies"
It was a hot summer's day today. The sun was beaming down upon you and the cicadas were screaming out for water like they've never had before, but while you would have welcomed the arrival of summer in the past. Nowadays? You couldn't help the sour taste it left inside of your mouth! It was harder to grow stuff, crops were dead and there was no longer a place to readily buy season appropriate seeds.
You had to make weekly rounds back to the old supplies store just to try and keep your family of three, plus the pets alive and that alone was a trip!
The monsters that had arrived a little over a year ago were vicious, hungry creatures that spared no mercy whether or not you were a child or an adult.
Too many times did you toss and turn in your sleep at night when you remembered the scratched up and limbless body of Vincent outside of Sam's house on the night everything started, how he cried and begged for his brother to wake up despite...well...everything.
Since then, you haven't seen Sam in a while.
Or anyone else for that matter.
The town was quiet as there was nothing but abandoned buildings and homes. Everyone had already left a while ago, hoping to escape the monsters and their terror but you- well, your spouse insisted on staying, stating that the two of you had a lot to live for here and that there was no point in moving away from everything you had worked so hard for! And to a certain extent? You agreed with him, your farm and animals provided more than enough food for the both of you.
There was still plenty of supplies to be had so long as you knew where to look and every now and again? When you went to the Mines, you were able to find lost items that helped in fortifying the area around your farm just a little bit more from the creatures!
But then again-
"Y/N," A voice chirped from below. "It's hot."
"It really is, isn't it?" You agreed with a sigh before you took off your sun hat and handed it to Jas. "Maybe this will cool you down? Sorry I don't have anything better Jas," You smiled sheepishly, the little girl only smiling gratefully in return as she proceeded to put on the hat that was far too big for her then.
Then again...Jas was still here.
Marnie died at the beginning of the attack upon the town. When you had defeated the monster, Shane had rushed into the farmstead and found Jas hugging her stuffed animal in the corner crying and wondering where Marnie was, from what he told you. And although the little girl had her moments of sadness...all things considered, she was taking things well.
Her new reality with monsters and not being able to go outside as she pleased anymore, at least, beyond the boundaries of your farm, she was taking it well.
"Alright Jas, c'mon." You crouched down to allow the girl to climb onto your back before you carried her the rest of the way to Pierre's shop. It was both a way of making sure she didn't get tired as well as a way that...if something was here, you'd be able to run as fast as possible without worrying whether or not she was keeping up. But, thankfully, the two of you reached Pierre's abandoned shop without too much of an issue, causing you both to go in through the broken window you've both been using for a while now before you rummaged around the shop.
Although it was easy to take as much as you could from the store and haul it all the way back home, safely avoiding multiple trips off the farm.
You thought it would be good for Jas, now that Vincent was no longer around due to...reasons. It was good for her to get off the farm once in a while with supervision. Not to mention, after you finished your "shopping", the two of you made it a routine to go the beach if you could! Anything to hopefully keep Jas' childhood as intact as it possibly could be.
"What do you want to eat tonight?" You asked after letting out a frustrated sigh after seeing the summer seeds in the back of Pierre's supplies were all crushed.
"Pizza!"
Did you still have tomato seeds? You were growing some in your greenhouse so there wasn't too much of a fear of running out of the produce anytime soon but...
"Alright," You eventually caved in after deeming it not too much of a waste of resources to make the item.
"I think...I think pizza would also make Uncle Shane happy too."
You sucked in your bottom lip at the mention of your husband. Before everything went to hell, you and him were dating, the two of you even discussed getting married at one point! Shane was getting help for his alcohol addiction and was going to therapy regularly! Everything seemed to be going nowhere but up for him and you couldn't be happier, yet...as of lately? He had been in a stump.
There was no more therapy.
No more avenues to find a healthy substitute for drinking.
You'd never seen someone crave the taste of a beer like Shane had and it was only your luck that you had a few forgotten cans in your cellar. It was keeping him sane for now but, you worried for him. You'd have to figure something out quick, for all his hard work to be crushed just because the world decided to end at an inopportune moment...not only would it crush you, you knew deep down that it would silently crush Shane as well.
Yet, you tried shooing those thoughts away from your head as you zipped up your backpack and waved your hand for Jas to follow you. "Good idea Jas," You smiled. "I'll make you and Uncle Shane the best pizza ever!"
.
.
.
You were glad that Jas had gotten distracted by a mother hen and her chicks when the pair of you arrived back to the farm.
You planned to call her back inside when dinner was ready.
But...as you gently closed the front door behind you, your eyes trailing over the path of destruction inside your house. The worse immediately came to mind.
A monster attack possibly, but...there would've been blood and most smashed items rather than just bottles.
Shane wasn't exactly the type to leave your home a mess, he was good at cleaning to the point you joked about him being better at cleaning than yourself!
So, as you flicked on the lights downstairs. There was only one possible answer- "Where is it? Where'd they put 'em?" You could hear Shane mumbling as he searched the corners, nooks, and crannies of the cellar.
The scent of alcohol was heavy in the air as the spilled contents from the kegs were all over the ground. Shane's speech was slurred and as he moved around, not even taking the time to notice your presence, he more so limped like a shot dog than walked! You tried to cool your simmering rage, biting your lip and clenching your fists as you wanted to scream every possible curse word in the book at him.
He destroyed weeks' worth of supplies.
Ruined the house.
Ruined your hard work in this cellar...
All for a drink.
"Shane," You said.
No response.
"Shane." You said again as you slowly began to make your way to him.
Still, he didn't dare to give you a response. Not until you stormed the rest of the way to the man and slapped a hand on his shoulder to get him to pay attention to you. "Shane!" You screamed into his ear, your chest heaving up and down as tears brimmed your eye line."
"H-How could you?! Our- my hard work...everything, why-"
Shane grumbled as he half-hazardly pushed you away. "Where did you put it?"
"What?"
"The rest of the drinks, I need a beer."
"Shane, please." You begged as you followed him around the room, both trying to control your surging temper as well as to get his attention. "Fucking goddamn listen to me!" You roared, your hand grabbing his shoulder and forcing him to turn around.
"Why, fucking goddamn tell me why you did all this!?"
"I need a drink." He repeated, slower than last time.
"You already tore into my kegs!? How much more do you need?!"
He didn't respond, going back to ignoring you but instead opting to go upstairs.
It seems that the end of the world had taken more from you in this very moment than anything else had in your entire life. Supplies, as well as a partner you thought you'd call your husband one day.
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himbeereule · 2 days
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(please excuse my language. normally i don't swear, but i'm really not well right now.)
tomorrow is my birthday (fuck)
i also have a presentation tomorrow (i haven't started on it yet, and i don't have any powerpoint-esque software to begin with. fuck)
i also have two exams tomorrow (i wasn't present when we learned the stuff that'll get asked there, i haven't started trying to catch up, and there is no script or comparable materials to do that to begin with. fuck)
i went outside and there were too many people and my brain went "seems like a good time to start a major depressive episode!" (fuck)
i'll call in sick to school tomorrow because otherwise i'll 100% unalive myself (i already have trouble with my boss because of too many sick days - they were all during school blocs. idek why he cares as long as my grades are fine, but i might end up losing the job once my contract runs out. fuck)
i mean, i'm aware that i'm just whining, but seriously. how fucking unfair can the world be. with my set of issues, i should be dead or in a closed psychiatric facility. but because i happen to be really good at most things, people expect me to constantly overperform. which i can't. i barely function at all. i lost my last job because of too many sick days; two days later, they hired me back because the whole department fell apart without me. when my boss at my current job warned me about the number of sick days (even though almost all of them were during school blocs which i'll be done with next year anyway) he told me i only have a chance still because if i'm there 80% of the time i'm still way more productive than others who are never sick.
don't know where i'm going with this - again, just pathetic whining, feel free to ignore - but the bitterness has to go somewhere i guess. i stumbled through the entire school system, every single teacher/professor i had was like "oooh, you're really good, i expect great things from you" and then did EXACTLY NOTHING to help with that - on the contrary, they actively hindered me by insisting on petty bureaucratic bullshit. so now i'm stuck with a mediocre upper-level graduation paper that makes me a "specialist worker" but also bars me from studying any of the things i actually could get through despite my issues; and i can't keep any job, because, despite outperforming pretty much everyone in productivity in all my jobs, i can't get consistent attendence rates, and HR shift planners hate that.
welp, i'll try to work on the project(s) at least. don't want to disappoint everyone here as much as i'm disappointing myself and everyone else.
(also, it feels so fucking weird to add tags to this, like... my immediate reaction is "huh? i'm not writing this to get attention, i don't need tags!"; but then i realize i am absolutely doing this for attention, because note number go up makes brain give dopamine shot like one of these early 2000s coin machines where you'd get grimy 10 year old candy if you tricked the mechanism into working... still not adding all the diagnosis tags though this time, the guilt i'd feel over this isn't worth the potential extra readers)
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averageambivert · 2 days
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GUILTY AS SIN? BUT WOLFSTAR
Okay so everytime I listen to this song, I imagine Remus and Sirius (the ATYD ones) singing it for each other. And I really need to get this out of my head so here we are:
Drowning in the Blue Nile He sent me 'Downtown Lights' I hadn't heard it in a while My boredom's bone deep This cage was once just fine
This whole part is Remus. It's literally about HIM. Him talking about his "cage" (i.e. St. Edmund's) , which he had accepted before Hogwarts, and even the Shrieking Shack before the other Marauders transformed into animagi and helped him. Before Sirius told him that he doesn't deserve to suffer alone.
Am I allowed to cry?
This line is TOO accurate for ATYD Remus, as he's always avoiding crying and sees it as a weakness.
I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves
Basically him after he meets Livia. My guy was ready to leave Hogwarts before NEWTs to go to the pack and kill Greyback ASAP.
Or the ocean rocks Crashing into him tonight He's a paradox I'm seeing visions, am I bad? Or mad? Or wise?
"Ocean Rocks". Taylor, you're not doing anything to disprove that you're NOT MsKingBean89. I think of them having confessions at the beach in Cornwall. Remus yelling at Sirius on the same beach and spilling his thoughts out after the staying with the pack for a month. Him having an identity crisis and screaming "I don't know who I am anymore!". Later that night, Sirius telling him that he's his Moony.
What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss How I long for our trysts
Them constantly fighting and then wanting for it to be over the next moment. Making up later.
Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?
Now I think the next verse is from Sirius' perspective:-
I keep these longings locked In lowercase inside a vault
Sirius keeping his thoughts of Remus away from Walpurga. From the Dementors.
Someone told me There's no such thing as bad thoughts Only your actions talk
"Love is something you do"
These fatal fantasies Giving way to labored breath Taking all of me We've already done it in my head If it's make believe Why does it feel like a vow We'll both uphold somehow
Post Halloween 1976 Sirius thinking he's not gay and this is just his teenage hormones™, and wondering if HE has corrupted Remus.
What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die My bedsheets are ablaze I've screamed his name Building up like waves Crashing over my grave Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?
Finally, the BRIDGE:-
What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me Is actually what's holy?
I imagine this to be from Remus because of all the hate werewolves get. He's always thinking that at the end of everything, he'd still be hated for what he is.
If long suffering propriety Is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me So stunningly I choose you and me ... Religiously
This is Sirius because everyone thinks he's guilty immediately because of his family. He never got a trial and was sent to Azkaban. The internalised homophobia and his love for Remus scared him so much, so it can be said that Remus HAS haunted him.
So yeah, in conclusion, Taylor wrote this song about them. Thank you for reading my gibberish ily here's a cookie 🍪
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asukaskerian · 3 days
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monthly word count - may
TOTAL: 3 026... :((((((((( this month has been BAD for my concentration. upside, i plotted out several things like cherry wine and also wasted idk how long making family trees for uchiha and senju. totally essential, glad you all agree. u_u;;;;
ok i also tried to come up with a quick svsss arranged marriage bingqiu and got so into "no but i need more setup for it, it makes no sense like this" and now it seems to be SQH crack with qijiu instead because *shen yuan hasn't been born yet* what the frick self.
POSTED : nothin.
IN PROGRESS -svsss cracky plot divergence (1 545 words) -bleach suburban ot4 (1 481 words)
-- svsss -- The truth wasn't that Airplane had hatched a master plan to sneak out from under his System's unforgiving yoke.
The truth was that he'd been buried in emergency inventory lists to his eyebrows for the last two weeks, and just that day had to deal with eight different customers who couldn't understand why heightened demon-human hostilities would mean their ancient viagra tea would be harder to procure, all because his shifu thought he could do with more asshole-handling practice. The last thing he needed was Shen newly-Qingqiu getting in his face about the wrong wood being used in his tranquility-promoting benches.
Who the fuck caaaaaaares bro shut the FUCK up we all know it's because the wood grain's not the right swirliness for your "artistic vision"!
So he lost his temper.
In true Shang Qinghua fashion he lost it in the privacy of his own mind and nowhere else. "Ah, shixiong, you understand, we're too understaffed to send a team! It would be months before an expedition could be justified."
"Why is that."
Airplane had created Shen Jiu to be a bitch, but sometimes he was still surprised at the depths of bitchiness he managed to plunder with a single eyebrow.
"Because I try not to feed more than five shidis a week to Colossal Orchid-Faced Ants when I can help it?"
The way Shen Quingqiu paused and gave him a considering look had Shang Qinghua freeze solid for a second. Fuck fuck shit abort--
"Shang-shidi's tongue seems in fine form today," Shen Qingqiu commented in a silky way that Airplane translated into 'ooh, a challenger to my bitchy crown'. "One would almost think he didn't find his mistake anything to complain about."
... Jjghbgffhhh.
-- bleach --
Karate chop: umm. Hi! I hope i'm not bothering you, Grimmjow-san? Karate chop: we found new kittens! Kazui insisted we show you. :) Karate chop sent a picture Karate chop: they're hanging out behind my father in law's house, haha Karate chop: wonder where they were born? Surely not too far from here. Karate chop: ohh, there's one more kitten! She must be shy, it's the first time i see her! Karate chop sent a picture Karate chop sent a picture Karate chop: i'll stop spamming you now. Have a good afternoon, Grimmjow-san! Me: no new cats Me: rat royale battle tho if youre into that You sent a picture Karate chop: ahahahah oh nooooo, their little fists! Karate chop: :D :D :'D You sent a picture Me: lil flower in between two bricks Karate chop: oh! That's a carnation! How did she get there? How pretty. Karate chop: Kazui found you a buttercup!  Karate chop sent a picture Me: heh Karate chop: ~^_^~ Me: hey kurosaki Karate chop: yes?  Me: the fuck happened to your house Karate chop: oh Karate chop: haha Karate chop: Nel-chan didn't tell you? :) Me: She did Me: The little you told her anyway Me: s'about the other day? Karate chop: aheh... yeah. Karate chop: ( ; ω ; ) Me: im bothering to tell you im sighing irl is how much im sighing abt this. wtf nerd glasses kurosaki  Karate chop: ._. Karate chop: it's not a bad thing, really! The neighbors... Me: yeah i aint ever left a roof over my head over neighbors unless there was a knife fight involved. What else was in his moron cheeto head? Karate chop: aheheheh Karate chop: you don't mind if i talk to you about it? I don't want to bore you Me: i'm ASKING ABT IT do you want me to put up a sign too Me: give me the deets already woman Karate chop: :O grimmjow-san is a gossip!!!!!!!! GASP. Me: do i gotta pull out the emoticons
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anaalnathrakhs · 11 days
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love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
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magentagalaxies · 14 days
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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isfjmel-phleg · 4 months
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😶 
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youremyonlyhope · 1 month
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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danny-chase · 1 year
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Not to vent on main, but I really hate when older adults complain about young people not being able to self regulate and take initiative to do things without being asked... the whole thing about being young is that you don't have the lived experience that teaches you how to appropriately react in different situations. Yelling at someone for not displaying a certain behavior is just... so pointless to me. You have to spend the time and be dedicated and model the behavior you're trying to teach - if you want someone to be able to do something without asking, the first step is to ask them to do it
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lyxchen · 5 months
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Gotta love when your friend cancles your meeting that you planned a while ago because she had an appointment at the nail salon :)
#i LOVE that Really :|#(not)#like i'm really trying to be understanding#and not pissed at her because it's fine i don't need to make a big deal about this#cause the thing is we were supposed to meet and have a sleepover from today to tomorrow#but she thought it was from yesterday to today#and we realized it early enough on monday#and i told her that i can't do from tuesday to wednesday because i have work on wednesday morning (today) and i don't want to have to get up#at like 6:30 am at her house just because i have work#and she said from today to tomorrow is okay too she just had to move another thing she was doing#(which is totally okay for me)#but then she said it wasn't gonna work so maybe we could just meet up for the day without the sleepover#which is sad but it's still fun#and then she said that actually she can't meet up because she has an appointment at the nail salon today#so we didn't meet up today#and like it's fine but also it's not#cause really??#nail salon?#also this is just extra sad for me too because we were gonna do the sleepover with one of her other friends who i met at her birthday party#and who i really like and so i was really excited to also see that girl again#and now i won't :(#and i'm too scared to just ask her to meet up because like i've met her Once#anyways#this kinda reminds me of the time i was trying to meet up with my best friend and she canceled on me last minute three times in a row#which to be fair wasn't her fault at all that was her mother's fault but still#soo yeah#lea's random thoughts
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