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#i stayed up way too late trying to finish this
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TFONE Starscream x Femme Reader x Yandere-ish D-16/Megatron
(Minor spoilers ahead, but if you wish to continue go right ahead)
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"(Y/n). Are you sure to wish to go alone?"
(Y/n) turns to face Starscream who had a worried look, reaching out for her servos placing a soft kiss to them. (Y/n) smiles at his actions and grip his servos tighter with hers.
"Yes Starscream. It will be more easier and safer that way."
Starscream gave (Y/n) a stern look before sighing in defeat,
"Promise me that you'll be careful."
"I promise."
(Y/n) places a soft kiss on the side of his lips pulling back her hold on Starscream, her servos slowly sliding off before transforming to her jet form and heading off to Iacon city.
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(Y/n) walks carefully around the crowded train that was heading to the mines, where she would find out more information about the energon trains and have a look around the mines.
Just before joining the others in the train, she had to transform her armor to fit in more with the other miners, a bit of her amor hiding her cog.
As the train was stopped rapidly (Y/n) lost her footing and bump right into a gray bot.
"Oh! Sorry-"
The voice stop when (Y/n) and the gray bot made eye contact, the gray bot was speechless. (Y/n) look around to make sure no one else saw the small incident.
"I apologize as well."
(Y/n) spoken softly just before she turn walk the other direction, the gray bot reach out for (Y/n) speaking out, going around (Y/n) so now he was facing her
"Uh! Wait! Umm.. I-i haven't seen around before? Are you a transfer? Or..."
(Y/n) a bit surprised just smiled,
"Uh... yes.....I'm new..."
The gray bot noticed that he was probably making (Y/n) feel uncomfortable, and rub his head blushing looking to the side.
"I'm sorry... I just-"
(Y/n) just shook her head, waving her hands up
"No no it's alright."
(Y/n) then noticed a sticker on his left shoulder and pointed out
"You admire megatronus?"
The gray bot look to his shoulder his smile getting wider, without a second started to spill how amazing he was. (Y/n) giggles
"I'm glad I'm not the only one who fans over megatronus."
The gray bot laughs, holding out his servo,
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"I'm D-16 and you are?"
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"(Y/n). It's nice to meet you D-16."
They shook hands, D-16 repeating (Y/n) name softly, not noticing he was still holding onto her hand.
"Um... well I should probably go."
(Y/n) slowly release her grip and walks off, D-16 still looking at (Y/n) disappearing into the crowd.
D-16 felt his spark beat rapidly, till he was pull out of his thoughts by his best friend Orion pax.
"Who were you talking to D? I've never seen her before? She new?"
D-16 look at his hand then the direction where (Y/n) went and sighs,
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(Y/n) felt disgusted and angry noticing that these miners bots work hard for the terrible Sentinel prime not knowing the horrible truth, after a while of scouting the trains location, she tries to hack the systems to see where would these trains travel too on the surface. But she noticed that she has spend too much time in city,
"Ugh. If I don't leave now, I'll never hear the end from Starscream."
(Y/n) sighs chuckling to herself, just remembering the last time she arrive late and injured.
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(Flashback)
"(Y/n)! What have I told you!!"
(Y/n) was holding onto her shoulder while shockwave was patching it up, (Y/n) looking down, not even trying to glance up at Starscream.
"What were you thinking?! I ask you to stay put but race yourself into open fire!"
Starscream growls out covering his face with a servo, before facing away.
"Leave us."
Both Soundwave and Shockwave left leaving (Y/n) and Starscream alone.
"Starscream I-"
Starscream doesn't let (Y/n) finish, carefully bringing her closer to him a sort of hug.
"I can't lose you (Y/n). The thought. It pains me, after sentinels betrayal... he almost had you.."
(Y/n) looks up to Starscream holding onto his side of his face bring him closer head to head.
"I'm sorry I worry you, I just wanted to do more."
"I know you do, please just be cautious about your actions my dear."
(Y/n) smiles leaning in for a kiss
(Flashback ends)
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(Y/n) blinks noticed she space out for a moment or two, cursing at herself gather the intel and slowly sneaking out where the other miners were working around, till she heard a loud explosion.
"What was that?"
She noticed a pink bot and a couple of other miners waiting at the entrance of a mine cave and out came another explosion and just has the cave was caving in, three miners barely made it out.
(Y/n) wanted to help but the longer she stayed the more danger she can be in, but that thought went out the window when she saw a bigger jet bot punch D-16.
D-16 groans in pain as he felt someone lift him up a bit, his optics adjusting to see (Y/n).
"Are you okay?"
D-16 let out a sigh thinking he was dreaming for a second,
"Yes..."
(Y/n) pulls D-16 up on his feet before helping the other red bot up.
"Thank you? Um..."
"(Y/n). Nice to meet you."
The red bot seems to make a face as he heard your name before but it blurred a little, but remember his friend mentioning your name.
"Hey! my friend was just talking about you non stop, he-"
Before he could continue D-16 covers his mouth a large blush forming on his face and chucking nervously,
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"Are you sure you both are okay?"
D-16 and Orion pax both nodded, they both continued on their conversation, (Y/n) lifted her arm up and open a secret hatch that had energon cubes. But these energon cubes were sweet and had higher energy in them that can satisfy any bot,
"Here, this should help."
(Y/n) hands them both one, both D-16 and Orion pax both looked at each other, thanking (Y/n) popping the cube into their mouths.
"Wow! So amazing."
"This is the most sweetest energon I have ever had."
(Y/n) smiles
A loud ding noise filled the room catching everyone's attention the voice speaking
'Attention, all sectors. Stand by for a live transmission from Sentinel Prime.'
Than a hologram of sentinel prime appears making ever happy to see the "prime" back from the surface. But one bot was not smiling for his return, (Y/n) frowns and looks around to see all these poor souls living a lie. She was pulled back a hand grabs onto hers to see D-16 with a grin
"He's back! Come on (Y/n)."
(Y/n) force a smile joining the other to hear what the prime had to say, she felt sick seeing D-16 praise sentinel. Sentinel prime stating that he yet hasn't found the matrix and that the next day they'll be no work cause there will be a race called Iacon 5000.
(Y/n) was slowly leaving as everyone cheers
"Hey! Wait! (Y/n)!"
(Y/n) turns to D-16, he seems to noticed her look slowly asking if she was okay?
"Yes... I'm fine... I have to go."
"W-will you be there tomorrow? For the race? Are you going alone? If you want you can join me and-"
But before D-16 could finish his sentence
"Don't trust him D-16."
D-16 flinch a bit (Y/n) voice was different, strong yet stern.
"W-what?"
(Y/n) placed a hand on D-16 faceplate, caressing his face softly whispering softy to him
"You are so blind to see the truth... I'm warning you D-16. Please."
(Y/n) slowly walks backwards giving D-16 a last look, transforming her amor out of her disguise from to her normal form, transforming into her jet form. Taking off in a hurry leaving the D-16 still confused, shock and concerned of her words.
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(Y/n) made it back in one piece a couple of seekers notices her arrival,
"(Y/n) back!"
(Y/n) transforms mid air and lands gracefully seeing everyone welcome her back.
"(Y/n). Mission successful?"
Soundwave questions, (Y/n) nods her head and points to where Starscream throne area is, heading up the stairs seeing Starscream looking out into the distance hands behind his back.
"Starscream has been nonstop worrying about you."
Shockwave added making (Y/n) chuckle
"I have return Starscream."
(Y/n) bows her head a bit, looking up to see Starscream with a small smile
"Glad to see you safe and sound (Y/n). Took your time with this one did you?"
(Y/n) bows her head again, apologizing of taking more time than she anticipated.
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"So there's multiple trains heading on the east side this time."
(Y/n) had an hologram of the trains destinations and a few data from sentinels prime personal drive.
"This is all I could get, if I've stayed longer I could have been seen or heard by the security."
Starscream lifts his hand up as his way that he understood,
"This should cause some trouble for sentinel, nice work (Y/n)."
(Y/n) thanked Starscream before her thoughts went back to the two miners she meet.
"Something troubles you my dear?"
(Y/n) sighs shaking her head,
"No... just thinking about the bots back in the city still believing in that no good of a prime."
Starscream places a servos on her shoulder, Starscream reassures that they will return to Iacon city but it's just safer this way.
"Shockwave has informed me that you worry for my safety? Is it true?"
Starscream let's out a cough,
"Worried? Oh uh yes. Indeed I was but I wouldn't say I was too worried. I knew you would handle it."
(Y/n) reaches out both her servos grabbing Starscream head, pulling him towards her to kiss Starscream multiple times on his faceplate making Starscream blush and groans.
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So... what do you guys think? I hope y'all liked it and of course I'll do a part 2!
Thank you again for taking your time to read this I really appreciate it 💕😊
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chxrryhxrt · 2 days
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Draw stars around my scars, part 2 - Remus Lupin x Female Reader
Read part 1 here!
Synopsis: Many weeks had passed since the most recent full moon, yet James and Sirius still will not let you see Remus. What could they be hiding?
Warnings: angst, fluff at the end, swearing, mentions of injuries
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After you made your visit to Remus that night, things briskly returned to the way they had been: him locked away in the infirmary, still recovering, and you left to your own devices, with only homework and classes to keep you occupied.
The feelings of betrayal and confusion did not come and go with the days as you might expect – rather they flooded you, engulfing every facet of your life and though you knew it was pitiful, you could not find it within yourself to just ‘get over it’. This was the advice Sirius had insightfully bestowed upon you when he found you in the common room the morning after, clearly having heard about the altercation from Remus himself.
It was common knowledge that Sirius was not the most well-versed in emotions – you could ask anyone on campus, and they would be able to tell you that, but that was not what upset you about his ‘pep talk’.
What did it for you was that Remus had spoken to Sirius about you. You were aware it sounded silly, but who were you if not the person that Remus shared everything with? You had been there for him in fourth year when he got a low score on his potions exam, consoling him and vowing to keep it a secret between the two of you. Ever since you learnt of his lycanthropy, you had spent the days after full moons making sure that he was comfortable and safe.
In essence, you knew everything there was about Remus Lupin, and in turn, he knew everything about you. So, to find out that he had just shared your private business with Sirius, it hurt. You did not care if they were best friends: it hurt – plain and simple.
Despite all of this, you pushed through, burying it in the confines of your heart and focussing on school.
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Now a week on, your feet carried you to class, sending echoes down the corridor with each strike of your shoes against the worn stone ground. Almost late, you rounded the corner to your lesson, hurried pace unfaltering – until you heard a familiar voice up ahead.
Getting closer now, he came into your view, standing outside the room with Professor McGonagall.
“I am assured you understand the work you must catch up on?” She inquired, shuffling a small stack of paperwork together, before passing them over to the boy opposite her.
“Yes, Professor,” he smiled, accepting the sheets into his hands, “I’ll try to have it all finished by the end of the week.”
“Wonderful, I do hope that you’re feeling better.” She turned on her heel, passing through into her classroom, leaving Remus alone and you standing at the other end of the corridor.
His gaze flickered over, noticing the fidgeting of your silhouette in his periphery. As his eyes met your own and his hand shakily rose to obscure his lower face, the air in your throat hitched and your brows knitted together. 

You remained like this for a short, bittersweet moment – relieved to see that he was doing okay, although confused as to why he was shielding his face, but still indescribably agonised as you recalled what had happened the last time you saw him.
Rashly deciding that you could not bear to stay put any longer, lest you say something to him, you resumed your dash down the hall and ducked past Remus, into the classroom and collapsed in your seat, books firmly thudding onto the ink-stained table.
Only seconds after your loud entrance, he slipped in too, sitting wedged between Sirius and James on the other side of the room.
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As you spent the next sixty minutes jotting down notes on transfiguration, the sound of quills on parchment and Professor McGonagall’s lecture filled the class. Though you tried to concentrate, thoughts of Remus incessantly flooded the forefront of your mind.
Upset as you were, you could not help but yearn to see his face entirely again. He had become a familiar pillar in your life over the years at Hogwarts, with there almost never being a day where he was not by your side. Having not seen him properly since before the full moon was slowly killing you.
Awkwardly, your neck twisted around, cracking slightly as you leant back to peer behind the Hufflepuff seated next to you. There he was: hunched over his desk, scrawling away, ever the academic. Continuing to stare, you took in his slightly dishevelled appearance. His sleeves were pulled as far down as they could go, yet bandages still managed to peek out of the bottoms. His hair was flecked with gold, falling messily over his forehead like always, except a new pink ribbon of a scratch descended from his hairline, travelling diagonally down across his face. The wound finished just above the corner of his mouth, which twitched as he paused to think.
Placing your palms onto your table, you braced yourself to quietly turn back around. Success almost befell you, but alas, James caught sight of you at the last moment, reaching behind Remus to prod Sirius, gesturing silently towards you.
Scoffing, you snatched up your pen and prepared to carry on with your note taking.
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Having gotten a good look at him, you found it easy to hazard a guess at the cause of his hostility that night in the infirmary. Never in your six years of knowing Remus Lupin did you get the impression that he was self-assured, confident, or felt anything other than insecure. So, you could safely assume that this new scar was the source of several new insecurities itself.
Either way, just because he was feeling glum did not give him an excuse to be rude to you. Not when you had blatantly expressed your unconditional love for him and worked so tirelessly to bring communication into your relationship.
You told Lily this currently, the two of you curled up on a twin pair of armchairs in the Gryffindor common room.
“I completely agree,” she sympathised, tucking her feet underneath her, “if James spoke to me like that, we would be having some serious words.”
“I’m really glad you understand,” you smiled tightly, running your fingers through your hair, “I just feel like, insanely petty? I do want to talk to Remus, but I want it to be him that initiates the conversation, not me.”
“I hate for my advice to be so useless, but I think he just needs time. He really does care for you, he’ll come around eventually.” She leant forward in her seat to place a hand on your forearm, soothing the skin there in a show of comfort.
Aware that she was right; you nodded and hummed your agreement.
“If it’s any consolation, James said that Remus has been a miserable old bag since he had that go at you,” Lily offered, retracting her arm back into her lap. You supposed it did help a little, to know that he was feeling awful too.
“Actually, that’s a relief to hear-“ you went to respond, but found yourself interrupted as James bolted into the common room, calling your name.
Unsure of what to do with yourself, you shot the girl opposite you a panicked look – debating between either running away or hiding somewhere nearby. Anyone who was anyone knew that when James Potter came knocking, it did not end well.
Too caught up in planning an escape route, you were soon hunted down by the boy, as you looked up to see a second year pointing in your direction. Scowling, you accepted your fate and sat up rigid in your chair, preparing yourself for what was to come.
He patted the younger student on the back as thanks and picked his pace back up, lightly jogging towards you both.
‘Hi Lily.” He simpered; eyes full of adoration as he glanced at her. “Sorry to interrupt you two lovely ladies, but I need you to come with me really quick.” He huffed, out of breath, as his gaze shifted over to your figure.
Although he lacked his usual mischievous smirk, you remained apprehensive to place any trust in him. Whilst he had not done anything wrong himself, he was friends with Remus, who decidedly had done something very wrong. So, you were almost obligated not to follow him, simply by proxy.
It seemed that he could tell what you were thinking, as his hands clasped together in front of him, and he began to do what could only be described as begging.
“Please,” he started, shaking his arms at you, “it’ll be like, ten minutes maximum. I just need you to come help me with some,” he looked away, “homework.”
Still unconvinced, you looked back over to Lily, who only contributed a small shrug to the conversation. You both knew James well, and you both knew he would not leave unless forced. In this moment, you realised your only real choice was to do what he asked, because Merlin knows you were not in the mood to physically remove your best friend’s boyfriend from the room.
You reluctantly peeled yourself off the armchair, trailing behind as he led the way.
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 In the back of your mind, you knew that he did not need help with his homework. Even though he and Sirius spent most of their free time pranking other pupils, they rarely struggled with the workload given to them by teachers. It was a miracle really, that either of them should even be passing classes, let alone excelling in them.
As the pair of you passed through the dimly lit hallways, evening moonlight poured through the windows, offering slightly more illumination than the sconces could on their own. There was a soft pattering of people hurrying by, headed to the Great Hall for dinner.
You wove between the bustling crowd, being taken deeper into the East Wing. You neared the less frequently used classrooms and began to wonder what James truly needed from you. It clearly was not help with academics, since you could have assisted him with that back in the common room.
He came to a halt outside a room you had never noticed before, its door tucked tightly between the cobbled pillars that sat on each side. His palm reached out, face up and his fingers wiggled unbecomingly.
“Before we go inside, I need you to give me your wand,” he urged, hand writhing even more as he posed his request.
You began to pull your wand out of your pocket, but a wave of sanity washed heavily over you, clutching it firmly in your fist.
“Why do you need it?” you pried, suspicions rising rapidly.
“Doesn’t matter,” he tried, hand making a grabby gesture, “I just need it.”
“Well, that’s not a good enough reason, is it?”
“Just,“ he lunged at you, successfully swiping the wand from your grip, “give it here!”
Left bewildered and frustrated by the childish grin that adorned his face, you huffed. You did not remain like this for long however, as James grabbed your hand and pulled you into the room with him, hinges screeching as the door opened and shut behind you.
The new surroundings were underwhelming. Desks lined the sides of the room, pushed up against the walls, dust sheets draped over them. There were few windows, leaving the area significantly darker than the corridor you had just found yourself in. Apart from this, the room was virtually empty – except for Remus and Sirius, who stood front and centre, Remus with a dejected look on his face, and Sirius with an irritatingly smug one.
Obviously proud with himself, he stepped forward, standing assertively between you and Remus, clearing his throat obnoxiously.
“You’re probably wondering why I gathered you all here today,” he announced to the chamber, “and I can tell you, it’s because I am absolutely exhausted with Moons here being a pain in my arse.”
Even in the poor lighting, you saw a frown flicker across his features at that, but he did not try to protest it.
“Just ‘cause you two are having a lover’s tiff-“ he pointed accusatorily at the both of you, “-does not mean that poor old James and I need to suffer as well.”
He started to move towards the exit, pulling his wand out of his pocket.
“I’m going to lock this door, and we’re going to leave the two of you to make up,” he explained slowly, “we’ll come back in an hour – if you guys haven’t sorted it out by then, we’ll leave you here until the morning, which means no dinner for either of you.”
It was normally hilarious when he got like this, all attitude and condescension, but the idea of being locked away with Remus overshadowed the funniness of the moment, and you contemplated begging to be let out.
Your mind raced with confliction. As much as you wanted a chance to speak with Remus, you had wanted it to be of his own volition. Locking him away and forcing him to speak with you felt a little unfair. Then again, you were not the one who planned this elaborate scheme.
Neither of you had the chance to say anything, as Sirius and James swiftly left the room, the door clicking shut behind the pair of them.
Not seeing the use in delaying it any longer, you turned to face Remus properly for the first time in over a week and a half. He offered a small smile, clearly finding this just as awkward as you did.  
“Um,” he mumbled, looking away from you.
You felt daft, as if you lacked a backbone, because that was all it took for you to begin to empathise with him again. Even though the derelict class had little to no light in it, he still could not bring himself to risk showing you his new scar, worried you would hate it - hate him.
Though you loved him dearly and would not change a thing about him for the world, you only wished he could be more confident in himself. He was nothing but gorgeous and you intended on telling him that right now.
“I saw your new scar,” you jumped straight in, noticing how his body stiffened, “I think it suits you – gives you a rugged look, it’s nice, kind of handsome, too.”
Only semi convinced, he turned to meet your gaze, responding with a shy, “You think so?”
“I know so,” you beamed, overjoyed to be talking to him again.
“That’s really kind of you to say, considering I was so rude to you,” he admitted.
You chose to let him continue, anxious to see what else he had to say.
“I just- I just wasn’t ready for you to see me, especially not like that, all bandaged up and helpless,” he swallowed thickly, “but I know that doesn’t mean I can just run around being a dickhead the people I love, I’m really truly sorry.”
You stepped closer, reaching your hands out for his.
“I should’ve respected your privacy, Rem, I’m sorry too.”
His arms tugged you in closer, enveloping you in a tight embrace with his palms running lengths along your back.
"It’s okay, next time I’ll tell Sirius and James to be honest about it with you, instead of letting them make up silly excuses,” he chuckled slightly.
“Actually, that did upset me a bit.”
“What did? The excuses?”  
“No,” you paused for thought, “when you told Sirius about our little spat, I don’t know, I just felt a bit betrayed, usually I’m the one you tell everything to and I wasn’t used to Sirius knowing all this stuff about us,” you answered honestly, voice soft and gentle as not to break the tranquil moment.
“Oh, you’re so sweet, aren’t you?” he replied, no malice in his tone, just humour as his palms moved to hold your face, “you’re my number one – always have been, always will be.”
His eyes searched yours, and in that instant, you knew everything would be okay.
Tags:
@moonpascaltoo @wonderlandwalker @simp-for-fiction @allllium @too-lameforyou @kenqki @queenanababy @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @tomsspidermangf @777heavengirl @oyeahwatchme @maccapacks
Tagging some people who I think might be interested in part 2! Thank you so much for reading 🫶🫶
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k-atsukibakugou · 2 days
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mercuryyy babyyy! this event is so cutee i love ittt!💓 margaritas are the actual love of my life so i gotta go with a frozen passion fruit margarita with whatever character you’d like plsss!! i’m so excited!!👀
KAI MY LOVE thank you for playing i'm so sorry i took so long with these but i hope u like it!!! birthday bash intro + rules + menu | event masterlist
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it was late. or, more accurately, early, the clock already ticking over to four a.m., despite still feeling like twelve in the brightly lit bar.
katsuki had already dismissed nearly all of the staff, wiping down the final booth in the corner of the restaurant in a comfortable silence, the only sounds the click of your footsteps back and forth in the kitchen, and the crunch of melting ice every now and again.
it's soothing, almost, after the long event shift, the chaos forgotten the longer he cleaned; spray, wipe, stack, spray, wipe, stack. the blond had told all his staff they could leave, that he'd finish the last of the cleaning, to ease himself into the comfort of the routine; every last employee taking him up on the offer to leave after the long night, bar you.
it's not that he doesn't appreciate your help, far from it, it's just… god, even the way you move around the kitchen, stacking glasses back where they belong, twirling around corners, every movement catching his attention, filling his bones with the need that's been growing ever since you were hired.
despite all the chaos of event day, from clock in until clock out, you'd still managed to press up against him multiple times tonight, to plant teasing touches to his forearms when you needed him, to purr your requests up at him with a pretty plea to 'just this once, baku?', to trace the shape of your lip line with the tip of your pen cap when you knew he was looking. anything to draw his attention below your eyes, to remind him of the last time you'd stayed late to close.
you'd draped yourself over the bar, sure to squash your tits against the counter when he'd asked for your opinion on a new margarita he wanted to add to the menu (trying to pay no mind to the newest selections being your favourite flavours). your makeup had already begun to smudge below your lash line, mascara beginning to fade and cling to your skin instead of your eyelashes, your eyes glazing over more with every mouthful, every new flavour he offered you.
scarlet eyes track you in the kitchen, acutely aware of the danger of being in your proximity, drawn into your gravity, into the memory of your heat from when he was slotted between your thighs, his hips, his thick chest pressed to yours, a large hand at the back of your neck, drunkenly, sloppily pulling you into a kiss that was still at the front of his mind any time he met your eye across the restaurant. just catching sight of your sultry gaze tonight was enough to drive him up the wall, to make katsuki more and more lightheaded at the perfect image of you — how you'd sighed against his lips, the sensation of your lace bra under his fingertips when he slid his hand beneath your shirt, tracing every plane and curve of your warm skin, how you looked tossing your head back when his mouth dropped lower on your throat, on your chest.
pulled sharply from his memories, he catches the stool that just tripped him before it can land with an explosive clatter, far too loud for the time of night. adrenaline pumping through his veins, katsuki takes in the restaurant; the spotless bar, immaculate floor, neat chairs and bar stools stacked atop tables (now including the perpetrator of ruining his daydreams), the walk-in door ajar in the clean, quiet kitchen.
dark blond eyebrows snap into a scowl noticing the quiet, the distinct lack of your footsteps in the place; had he been too busy reminiscing about your body beneath his to notice you leave?
searching the kitchen for your belongings, crimson eyes sweep over the room, not a single speck out of place; dishes stacked perfectly for the opening shift, cutlery rolled, even the dried lime circles freshly stocked. the only thing out of place in the entire restaurant: a dark spot on the front of the walk-in, an awkward shape draped over the doorknob that his pupils hone in on.
katsuki's ears twitch, your breathy sigh reaching him just as he realises what exactly the shape is: your lace panties offered up to him on a silver (or rather, stainless steel) platter.
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alphajocklover · 2 days
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So I just finished my 3rd year exams at university (hopefully I did well enough to make it into a 4th year and go for an Master's of science) and as soon as I get out near the crowd to celebrate a guy bumps into me and I broke my phone. I was ready to give him a piece of my mind until I saw he was pretty built, he must be on some university team for something. He felt awful apparently and he gave me his old phone as an apology. It came with this InstaJock app thing on it. I dunno what it is but I kinda wanna load it up...
Another instance of a jock giving someone a phone with InstaJock already downloaded on it. Another instance of someone doing something with InstaJock that doesn’t make any sense. I know it’s unprofessional to say something like this, but this is driving me crazy. Why would a jock give away their phone? If they wanted to turn you into a jock like them, they’d just send you the app! If they wanted to give you a new phone for real, they’d have wiped it before giving it to you. I guess it's possible they forgot, but InstaJock is super important to the users that get transformed into jocks. Even with how stupid jocks can be, I doubt they’d forget about the app that literally changed their life. So… why?
I’ve mentioned in some of my earlier Instajock posts that someone has been messing with people using this app. Using it in unconventional ways to mess with people, spreading false information about the app, and even making knock offs of the transformative app. My first thought was that it had to be The Master. Not the Doctor Who villain, to those who get that reference, but someone I introduced to you all in a recent post. He’s the creator of Instajock and the mastermind behind my Uncle’s transformation and kidnapping. He’s an incredibly powerful figure in the Transformation Community, even more than I’ve told you. Most people who know about transformations are scared to mention him, even other TF Reporters are, and most powerful people or groups who work with transformation either do business with him or stay out of his way. But… I don’t think he’s the one behind this. He likes to mess with people, play with his victims like whoever is behind this, but if he wanted to do that he could just add features to the actual InstaJock app. He had no reason to do things in such a roundabout way. Which makes me think… it’s someone else.
Whoever is doing this has an intimate knowledge of the app, so It has to be someone involved with InstaJock, someone besides The Master. Maybe someone who works for him? Even he couldn’t have programmed the entire app on his own and added in the magical elements without help. Plus he isn’t one for upkeep, so he’s probably having someone else run the site for him. They also have to be someone with a lot of nerve to mess with The Master, maybe someone who they’ve hurt personally. On top of all of that it’d also have to be someone the jocks would listen to. Maybe someone who worked on InstaJock that The Master fired, a former employee?
I can’t be sure of who's behind this yet, but I do know that whatever they’re trying to do with you isn’t good. When you press that app, you won’t just be turned into a jock like a regular InstaJock user. It has to be something… special. Something that would benefit, or would at least interest the person behind this. Maybe you’ll turn into a copy of the jock who gave you the phone, become their perfect twin? Maybe something else will happen entirely. I can’t be sure.
If it’s not too late, send me the phone immediately. I can put it somewhere safe, and I might be able to protect you from whoever's doing this. If it is too late… Well I hope you enjoy whatever happened. Being transformed against your will sucks, but being a jock can be fun, even if it isn’t your choice.
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**3 stories in one day, all InstaJock? I must be on a roll! I hope you guys liked this one! There are still more mysteries and more transformations to discover! Stay tuned!**
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pixiescoffeeshop · 3 days
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༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚Hello There! My name is....Bluey ya! Anyways, so I was wondering if you could do a number five five by like making him deal with the apocalypse dilemmaજ⁀➴ ⊹₊⟡⋆ and maybe he starts seeing a girl near the coffee shop and starts telling his mind out to her? Could you I mean ya , I'm not the best at request...
Stay Bright Pix˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ
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𐙚₊˚⊹ like i’m stuck in an apocalypse.
a requested five hargreeves short fic . . 📞🐈‍⬛
context : five finally gets back from the apocalypse, and when he does, he makes a visit at griddy’s donuts. — and he sees a girl there.
warnings : minor cursing .ᐟ
author’s note : THANKKKK YOU FOR REQUESTING !! also,, so sorry this took a while to respond back to 😭 but i’m here now !! your message is so sweet, stay bright too friend 🤍 without further ado, happy reading .ᐟ
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five didn’t want to deal with the whole .. apocalypse thing, he really just wanted to see his family again. but when that family has their own issues of their own, it’s hard to keep them all in one room without practically slicing each other’s head off.
so late at night, he made his way towards a place from his childhood. a place where they used to be able to still get along. and that was griddy’s donuts.
despite the place being a popular spot in town, looked old and abandoned now. the smell of espresso flourished in the brunette’s nose just moments before he sat down and ordered.
“hello, ready to order?” a girl, younger, had her notepad out, with her own black pen. for the first time in about 50 or more years, he’d recieved a genuine smile from her. she looked kind and sweet. his gaze had been broken off once she waved her hand in his face.
“oh uh — yeah, um,” he looked down at the menu. “can i just get some coffee? black.” five handed the waiteress the menu. she wrote down on her notepad with a nod, “coming right up.” she gave another wide smile before walking to the back to grab that cup of hot coffee for him.
a few minutes later, she came back and placed the cup before him. “enjoy.” she spoke. “thank you,” he glanced at her name tag.
(name).
“(name).” he nodded at her as he sipped the coffee. she gave another smile before turning and walking away.
— 𐙚₊˚⊹ ☕️
(name) continued to clean in the back as she listened to her tunes through her headphones. she hummed to the beat as she sweeped, and once she finished with the dishes and everything else and pulled her headphones off her head.
and instead of the usual chatter and noise that echoed across the diner, there was no noise at all. it was dead and completely silent.
the girl walked out from the back and found only but unconscious and bloodied bodies on the floor. only standing in the middle of the room was the same boy that ordered the black coffee.
the boy turned around to face her, her jaw practically on the floor. his eyes widened, thinking she’d scream or yell. —
“holy shit.”
was the only thing she breathed. five hunched over, the side of his stomach stinging. she picked up her feet and quickly took the first aid from the back of the kitchen. she ran over to the uniformed boy and let him lean on counter, his face painted with agony.
she panted, looking over at the bloody wound his hand held and his face. “remove your hand. i’ll — i’ll try treating it.” she opened the first aid, “agnes? agnes!” she yelled for the other waitress but did not get a response back.
“damn it, she must’ve bolted the second she heard the gunshots — why, — why, how?” she started asking questions as she treated the wound. he hissed, “i’m sorry! sorry.” she repeated, treating it a little more gently.
as she bandaged it, he sighed with relief. “who are you? did you kill these men?” (name) furrowed her brows at him. he shook his head, staring at her eyes. “i mean — yes. i did, but,” he let out a heavy sigh.
she bit her lip, how would she get him to talk?
“i’m (name) (last name). i’m a daughter, i’m only fourteen. but, i wanna know your story.” he continued to drown himself in her eyes. “five hargreeves. i’m thirteen but my consciousness is really older than it looks.” he clicked his tongue.
they continued to sit in silence, (name) leaned her back on the counter beside him. “you mean, the hargreeves family? the superhero family?” then her eyes widened. “you’re the boy. the one who went missing years ago.” five scrunched his face.
“how’d you know that?” he asked. “people talk.” she winked. he rubbed the bandaged side of his stomach. “i have five days to get rid of an apocalypse. in. this. body.” he emphasized with another heavy sigh. she wanted to ask more questions, but she let him unload before asking anything else.
“and my family’s are filled with crack-headed assholes, and the handler’s up my ass.” he scratched the back of his neck. she smiled a little at the sight and thought of a little boy cursing as such. “and the thing is,” he sighed again as he sat up.
“i wanted to go here to unwind and remember the only times me and my siblings ever got along.” he played with his fingers. (name) watched him talk. “but now, they’re just.. a bunch of dipshits.” he tossed one of the dead guy’s arms away.
“what about you? i’ve been stuck in an apocalypse to experience high school, how is it?” he finally asked her.
“like i’m stuck in an apocalypse.” she retorted back with a smile in attempts to lighten the mood. he snickered lightly, “always thought it would seem so. thank you, (name).” he finally returned the smile.
she smiled wider, “hey, you intrigued me. can’t help it.”
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supernova-skywalker · 11 months
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: Ahsoka (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ezra Bridger/Sabine Wren Characters: Ezra Bridger, Sabine Wren Additional Tags: Romance, True Love, First Time, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Morning Cuddles, Morning After
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sagevalleymusings · 10 months
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Responding to "Lesbian is a Powerful Word:" With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
So I wrote the bulk of this essay in February of 2020 when the original article I reference came out. Then… I dunno, something happened. And I forgot about this in the face of… well, you know. Everything. But I think it’s still highly relevant, so I’ve wrapped up the ending, cleaned up my sourcing, and am setting it loose on the world. Enjoy.
A while ago, AfterEllen published an article by Claire Heuchan called “Lesbian is a Powerful Word: Here’s Why We Will Always Need It.”
This bothered me a lot, not because I disagree, but because I felt like the argument being made was disingenuous at best. The author assumed that their definition of lesbian (a biological female who is exclusively attracted to other biological females) is the only valid definition, then proceeded to use this assumption to explain why lesbian identity needed to be protected from modern queer politics or risk erasure.
I wouldn’t just disagree, but would counter-argue that Heuchan is pushing a dangerous false narrative, one that misses a huge swathe of discourse around how the term lesbian can and does fit into non-binary spaces.
But what struck me the most was that the argument itself was poorly constructed. There were multiple instances where I didn’t just disagree, but didn’t think that the argument even made logical sense. For example, at one point Heuchan cites three articles about how modern lesbians dislike the term lesbian. But there are two issues with this: the first is that two of the three articles are joking listicles with no real substance which of course could be torn to shreds with the most basic of counter argument, but the second issue is that Heuchan constructs this as an attack on lesbians by non-lesbians when in fact these articles were about how lesbians themselves feel about the term for their own identity. Not only that, but the only article of substance wasn’t provided a link for, so by lumping that article in with these two joking listicles, and then on top of that falsely claiming that these listicles were written by non-lesbians, Heuchan has literally constructed a strawman argument that non-lesbians are trying to tell lesbians not to use the term because it has too many syllables or sounds like a disease (a point made, ironically, by lesbian icon Ellen, who AfterEllen gets their name from).
I was so frustrated by this lack of well-constructed argument that I did some research, and I discovered that self-proclaimed radical feminist Claire Heuchan has a blog where she made a much longer, more nuanced version of this argument. And although I still disagree with the premise, I think it’s important to acknowledge that for me to respond purely to this AfterEllen fluff piece without an acknowledgement of the fantastic work Heuchan has done on black feminism on her award-winning blog would be as disingenuous as failing to include an intersectional perspective of lesbian that is trans-inclusive in an argument about where the term lesbian fits into modern queer rhetoric. Because not only is it the case that lesbian can fit into modern queer rhetoric, it’s a conversation that is happening in trans-inclusive spaces.
But Heuchan’s accomplishments as a black radical feminist don’t change the fact that she’s a radical feminist, and only the briefest dissection of her six-part series on sex and gender does legitimize my concern that this means that Heuchan is a trans-exclusionary radical feminist. And on some level, I have a hard time taking trans-exclusionary arguments seriously, because they so frequently construct a false narrative. Heuchan’s argument assumes that all lesbians agree with her definition of lesbian, because in her world, a lesbian is a cis woman attracted exclusively to cis women, and anyone calling themselves a lesbian who doesn’t fall into that category is contributing to lesbian erasure. 
It’s a winner-take-all argument that allows for absolutely no middle ground, because all dissent is just considered oppressive patriarchy. Heuchan doesn’t believe in gender. At all. She believes that gender is a tool by the patriarchy to keep women (and by women she means people with vaginas) oppressed. So any argument that I attempt to make about queering lesbianism to include trans women or non-binary folks is stopped before it even gets to the discussion stage because the premise that people can identify as women at all is considered invalid.
If I were to make a counter-argument to the AfterEllen article, it would be to say that “lesbian” does have a checkered history of transphobia which means that lesbians like me have trouble relating to it. So do I stop identifying as a lesbian because it feels like other lesbians are trying to push me and the people I love out? Or do I try to open it so that more people can be included? The argument I would make is that lesbian fits into modern queer politics better by opening. Lesbian used to be defined as an attraction to women in general (fellow queer tumblrina star-anise has documented this extremely well), not an exclusive one, and that older definition is very compatible with modern queer politics. A loosening on the reigns of lesbian would allow non-binary folks and trans women to find acceptance of the very real experience they have. And although trans-inclusive rhetoric can get pretty aggressive, at times complaining that lesbians refusing to date trans women is itself transphobic, I think there is a place in the middle where we can acknowledge that trans lesbians and cis lesbians who date trans women exist, while still allowing for preference, much like anything else. No one is forcing transphobic lesbians to date trans women. This point even gets brought up in the much longer discussion Heuchan is encouraging on her blog, when she talks about the “cotton ceiling.” But the way in which it’s brought up here conflates the argument in a disingenuous way, not only by pointing out that the cotton ceiling was coined by a trans woman but then not providing links to the original conversation, but then also by dismissing the entire argument of the cotton ceiling and by extension the trans activist’s extremely valid point that cis lesbians are bad at talking about trans inclusion. 
I want to add a sidebar here to say that actually I think I can understand why Heuchan didn’t cite the original cotton ceiling discussion. It’s poorly archived. I am not the only person who has looked and failed to find the original source. Wikipedia doesn’t even cite the original source - they cite an academic article citing a blog that no longer exists. The oldest sources I can find are trans exclusive radical feminists tearing into it as early as March 2012, but none of them screenshot the original tweet (it is implied it’s a tweet). If it weren’t for the fact that I have heard other trans activists use the term, I would almost say it was made up whole cloth. At the very least I think it is telling that the term traveled through Heuchan’s spaces far more than it did trans activist spaces - potentially an example I see not infrequently of radical feminists blowing a bad take out of proportion and treating it as representative of trans perspective as a whole. 
To go back to my point about Heuchan’s premise, there is a counter-argument being skirted around that seeks to incorporate lesbianism into modern queer politics. The problem is that Heuchan’s argument doesn’t allow for this possibility at all, doesn’t even acknowledge it, because from a trans-exclusionary radical feminist viewpoint, lesbians who have sex with trans women are no longer lesbians and therefore do not get a say.
Another way to construct this argument would be to say that Heuchan is arguing that lesbians who think lesbianism includes dating trans and non-binary folks are themselves contributing to lesbian erasure, and that trans-exclusionary lesbianism is here to stay. But phrased this way, the argument sounds a lot less defensible. Because from that perspective, the trans-exclusionary stance is one that stands against other lesbians specifically. 
And yeah. It does.
Lesbian is a powerful word, and I want it to be here to stay. But it’s hard to advocate for a term when so many people have tried so hard to link the term lesbian with transphobia. And this especially hurts when… it’s just not true. 
In March of 2023, the LGBT+ youth charity Just Like Us published an early report on their survey on trans inclusivity among LGBT young adults. They found that of the over 3,000 LGBT+ young adults surveyed, lesbians were the most inclusive orientation, with a staggering 96% saying they were supportive or very supportive of trans people. 
Queer folk are more supportive than the general populace, but 96% is unreal. And yet, those numbers back up my own experience in lesbian spaces. Almost all of us are supportive or very supportive of the trans people in our lives. 
Lesbian does not necessarily just mean “female homosexual.” It can be a cis woman attracted to femmes. It can be a non-binary she/they. It can be a he/him butch. Hell, believe it or not, some trans women are also lesbians. 
Lesbians aren’t being erased. It’s just that a lot of the people calling themselves lesbians now are people you disagree with.
Welcome to the club.
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ch1zzie · 6 months
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The original in the bottom
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Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny
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#thats not my neighbor#milk man#just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates#monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school#(online school)#my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT#also little welcome home update#im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me#also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭)#the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit#only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭#also! im making easter art#yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!!#why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing#it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful!#im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to#high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not)#maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me...#also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh#ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me#imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope)#even if its little dumb posts#by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES”#just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded#hehe didded
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laurzvahll · 3 months
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above all else they’re best friends
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bunnihearted · 5 months
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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takeyourcyanide · 14 hours
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replacement really really scaring me I am going to go I am going to run I have no other option besides the ides she’s trapping me really really scared now really really panicky she’s rude she tells me to snap out of it and says I’m ridiculous and is very annoyed cause she thinks I’m not functional enough annoyed when asked if I’ve been eating or drinking annoyed and huffing and saying no more silent treatment but just can’t speak annoyed because apparently I’ve not been doing work but I forgot about it not important have to focus on fleeing from replacements panicking now why she do that I know why too many appointments too on Friday two and tells me treatment plan I’m scared she says oh we have to agree on something agree on nothing it’s trapping and I’m scared now panicking don’t feel very good she’s cruel already said she wasn’t her I say she’s a replacement I thought even if they think I’m not in my right mind why do they think telling me to snap out of it is helpful it isn’t and not gonna let myself be gaslit she got closed to me she gets mad when I jerk away and hide behind the door and pushes it open but scared says it’s not funny but m not smiling or laughing cause funny no no no I’m scared you’re agitating and scary panicky she said she make me get a job cause if I’m not doing work then I have to something cause being here isn’t healthy but I just forgot hard to focus too idk how to explain but never that I didn’t want to do anything just all replacements all suspicious all scary and outside is fake curated she only does that to hurt me wants me trafficked scary scary scary know I shouldn’t say on here but idk what else to do pure desperation atp cause people don’t wanna help they just say you’re crazy and need pills but I was just asking where to go when you’ve nowhere else really scared really scared felt lightheaded cause she made me scared
She classifies herself as hypermepathetix but doesn’t act like it cause she gets mad very easily and not understanding at all says rude things that make me feel violent but if I say something like that then I’m mean and treated like a serial killer but not her no no no I really don’t like her she says she says things just to see my reaction too to play armchair psychologist mean mean even though she sees agitation even though it makes me feel not good mean mean
#I’ve decided I must run I must run I must run I must#have glasses so better now so can go scary#I’ll take atropine#not safe outside but really really not safe here know she wants me trafficked either way I’ll be not safe#everyone is scary but can someone help me idk how but pls make her go away and leave me alone and tell me where I can go and don’t call#police they don’t help either will take me back and send me away#even if I were not well which not true not will be gaslit but uh still wish they cared enough not to be annoyed and to actually help and no#say I’m ridiculous and crazy would be useful if they cared but atropine cares but can’t do much at all cause stuffie body#this is pathetic isn’t it probably but idc I’m scared this is impulsive not thinking scared#pack a little bag and leave#if not impulsive#don’t want to leave the warm blanked behind and it’s hot outside but cooling off right need to go#wish I could go somewhere safe with nice blankies and no replacements#if they send me away no visitation pls cause they replacements I don’t like them not even ambivalence no#I don’t want to go because they’ll hurt me but if I stay I’ll be really hurt#not as though I’ve never had certain mthings happen to me it’ll be fine if not trafficked or kidnapped m#been really mean lately want not mean wanted to write but too panicked been working on stuff a little and wanted to finish before leaving#but maybe not might take my phone anyway#it isn’t safe on here either but this is my best bet atp hoping replacement will put aside their malice but they won’t you know they won’t#scary scary scary scary scary scary they’re mean and they’re rude to me I don’t want treatments forced onto me because that’s not what they#are and not ill even if were tired of being try to be fixed can I have care and not just pills thrusted or vitriol they get mad at me#if I ask someone to help me they’ll be the same and then I’ll get sent away or or other stuff#what dies she mean snap out of it and that’s mean she says she’s an empath too#mean#and scary#and agitating#and no understanding but expects me to have understanding of her#I’m not ridiculous she is#tired of gaslighting#everything everyone says can’t be trusted always manipulating gaslighting and yet still I’m asking for help that’s stupid I gave up on that
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mothram · 8 months
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youtube
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thehungrycity · 7 months
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Accidentally cheesed the final battle in BG3 lolol. Didn't think it was going to work, then it did.
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munch-mumbles · 6 months
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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exopelagic · 11 months
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yeah I have more to say
#I think priest was right when he said I wanted a lot and it’s more than I can have bc I’ve taken more than I can handle#I’ve been trying to say yes to things which is all well and good but I’ve been out every night this week between hockey and friends#this week has lasted six months#and at the same time Tuesday was a few hours ago#and at all times there is so much I’m not doing.#as always it’s partially an issue of wasted time bc ive been getting up late and struggling to work in my room#but I also still haven’t recovered from the cold mentally or physically and it put me so behind#which was now two weeks ago god#somehow only two weeks#.but also two fucking weeks that’s so long#and I’m still trying to be gentle w myself but that doesn’t work but i also know I’m being too harsh on myself all the time#I don’t know what to do with any of this#I think temporarily I might stop Doing Things and just have time for me to get myself back together and slow down a bit bc it’s way too much#I think I’m just really horribly overwhelmed by everything and it’s built up to a breaking point#so this weekend I’m not gonna go out and see anyone I’m gonna stay in or go to the library and finish my work#have a goddamn cup of tea before I go to bed#I need to go to the shop and cook at some point but that can be basics for now because as much as I’d like to do the pie thing#maybe leave it until I’m more together so I’m not worried abt Extra things. I think temporary goal is to minimise the number of things#I really want to cry and just have it out but I’m teetering on the like. wanting to cry feeling instead of pushing over#this is a jump but I’m so tired of prioritising everyone else’s feelings#I realised tonight when I’m playing I’m always holding myself back a little to let other people do shit#and it’s not even like I’m holding back bc I’m good. I’m just letting other people do stuff bc I think they deserve it more#and when we had Shit happen I took on talking everyone down and making sure they were all okay#and then that whole weekend after I was completely fucked I couldn’t Do Anything#even with ms main character I’ve been stroking her ego do she doesn’t blow up completely and fuck stuff up for Everyone#maybe. just maybe my feelings are also important and I’m allowed to have shit not be my problem like everyone else#I think I’m going to bed it’s 2:40#I’m gonna try prioritise myself just a little tiny bit more#luke.txt
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theriu · 1 year
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I HAD A FANTASTIC DEATH ROAD TO CANADA TEAM
I WAS ON KEPA MODE WHICH I HAVE YET TO BEAT
WE HAD A MINIGUN AND A DOUBLE BARRELLED SHOTGUN
I HAD KEPA UP TO FOUR HIT POINTS DO YOU REALIZE HOW IMPOSSIBLE THAT IS
EVERYONE WAS FULL HEALTH
AND WE DIED IN THE 1.5 HOUR SEIGE RIGHT BEFORE CANADA
AGAHDHHDKHDKSHD 8|
*sulks sulkily in her room and sulks*
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