#i still can't commit to any specific idea yet

[pencilofawesomeness]

Question how would Daphne be treated in the papalogia au? Because in the story it would be a 100% confirmation that the dragon she say is acno. Also with how obsessed she was I am shocked she didn't have a dragon slayer lacrima.

I've been overthinking this ask for a week now lol.

Okay so. In terms of the Magnolia area, and really all of Fiore, I don't think anything would change. Acnologia is still the only dragon to be spotted, and even though he's flying around, he does make an effort to not be seen. Arguably, he's making more of an effort that canon-Acnologia, who simply did not care. That said, there may or may not be other dragon sightings in other parts of the world, so Daphne may be bolstered in her obsession with dragons all the same.

I don't think it would equate to her getting a lacrima though. Not only are those suckers hard to find and risky, her fascination strikes me as... a mix between scientific and fanatic. Her love and obsession with dragons and learning about them, as well as proving them real, supersedes most rational thought and morals. I mean, she was totally cool in using Natsu as a battery, and given the opportunity, she would have poked at him more I am sure. She seems to me like the Mr. Crocker of Fairy Tail, except with the room to be really amoral and scary for it.

Some peeps know this already but I have flirted with, and sometimes am still flirting with, the idea of a mini arc involving Daphne, except if fanaticism was just a bit more dangerous. The fact that there is a bit more evidence of dragons out there, but the dragon slayers are more tight-lipped about dragons and their own magic in Magnolia, is enough to drive someone like that bonkers. I still don't have solid ideas for this so it may or may not happen in htryds at all; I just... really like mad scientist psycho antagonists, so if I ever get struck by inspiration and want to hit a dragon slayer or three with a really spiky stick... Consider this a forewarning >.>

[homecomingvn]

its official, this is becoming my one of top 10 fav ifs and the demo hasn't even come out - after reading henry's character info, i think im more in love. but anyways i have a question: can our Mc be oblivious to the henry's nature to either the point of just absolute denial (love me some angst) or "oblivious" bcuz mc under everything feels a similar way or does henry hav to be the only coocoo person in the relationship?

Ack thank you so much!! I'm incredibly flattered - I hope that the demo (whenever it comes out hsdkfhksdf sorry) lives up to your expectations! :)

As for your question, yes, I am planning on there being options for mc to be oblivious to Henry's....tendencies! It's a trope I very much enjoy; something about these terrible things happening and the mc not being aware of who's doing it until it's too late is just too delicious for me to pass up skhfskf.

And on the other end, I would like for a 'detective-esque' option for mc as well, although, the ability to catch Henry (specifically) fully will probably be limited to certain routes (and not only in terms of romance routes - perhaps other choices may be more important than you'd initially think :3c).

And for the just as crazy route for mc in regards to Henry (or anyone really), I will say that's probably gonna be limited to headcanon / au territory for now, sorry :'3. But that may change in the future! We'll just have to see :)

[charliewrites99]

I can't stop thinking how it would be like if Lestat had his interview with Daniel instead of Louis:

"He was the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He also hated himself, which always helps."

"And then he accused me of killing his brother. As if I didn't wait respectful three days after his death to ask Louis back to my bed."

"His mother was hateful. I could smell it. Great fashion sense though. Dark green was in season at the time."

"I turned him in a church. It was...Oh Daniel, the English language fails to capture the picture. Mainly because it's a garbage language."

"He was really freaking out about the baby, like they can't make a new one."

"And then he went into the woods with him. Like a common prostitute."

"So, Daniel, wanna fuck?"

"Naturally Claudia was an ungratefull little brat, who would be nothing without me. But she at least hunted people, which was more than what Louis was doing. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to live with a vampire who hunts vermin? Like a glorified house cat. Which he also ate. I was disgusted and yet I never judged him for it."

"I record one duet and suddenly I am cheating. I mean I was and he did catch me in bed with her, but he was such an over-reacter Daniel I am telling you."

"She didn't want to finish THE GAME?!!! Who does that?!! What kind of self-absorbed, inffuriating- NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!!! *French cursing*"

"So, I turned her into a vampire. In retrospect it was a waste of time and blood. She lasted like two months. And ugh, the attitude."

"Louis cried, he still loved me I could see it. I could feel it. Claudia just used me as an ink bottle. I had to respect the commitment. Follow through was something Louis always strugled with."

"No, but seriously Daniel, I think we should fuck."

"And he put me in a light oak coffin that opened from the inside. After I specifically requested Rosewood. I know it was Claudia's doing."

"In the end *dramatic pause* I ate the rats. When I was younger I thought I would rather have been dead than to stoop so low, but here we were."

"I miss him Daniel, he was the reason I wanted to survive. Claudia hopefully perished in Central Europe somewhere. With her mismatched skirts."

"I won't turn you, but I can give you a night you won't forget until the end of you pathetic little human existance. You can top I don't care."

[michelle4eve]

Moots <33 

              (No specific order, I love all you guys!)

@aia45

-Newer moot! Hihi :) Who's your bias btw? 

@gimmeurtummy

-I literally love you, I appreciate you comforting me when I was about to cry and you're so kind it hurts 🤭 I hope we continue to talk and be bsfs :]

@lovablewh0re

- I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 😚❣ MY BBY SARANGHEAYO 😡💋

@linosssss

- I dunno yet D: But here, have hearts because I haven’t got anything to say ❣️💕💓

@galaxycatdrawz

-I dunno you much yet I'm so sorry 😞 I just watch your interactions with others (sometimes I interact with you too :O) and I want to get closer with u :)

@milf-ivy

-I'm sorry, I forgot all interactions I have had with you (if i had any), you’re very sweet tho😭 But uhm here's some hearts 💕 💖 💓 ♥ 💗 ❤ 

@sashaelfel

-OMGG I LOVE YOUR ART BROO? LIKE EVERYTHING LOOKS SO GOOD AND I WANT TO EAT IT FROM HOW IT LOOKS. YOU ARE ONE TALENTED MF ❣💕💓

@bluejutdae

-Hii, I didn’t know we were moots?? I hope we can talk? <33

@livelovelaughmiko

-So sweet?? Adorable even?? Like you srsly have stolen my heart.. I smiled like a dumb fool, your lil photo bombs make my day/few days <33 Hehe :] 

@writingforstraykids

-Literally a celebrity so I'm intimidated, and I love your writing 😚 I will binge your series as promised soon 🙏

@got-me-seein-stars

- How are you doin? Thanks for checking up on me and all, I really appreciate it :] Hope you're doing alright! 

@thatonedemigodfromseoul

-You better get me some sushi so I can try it 😤And you(r)e (dog is) cute <33 Also, please stop murdering and/or committing arson 🙏

@binnies-binna-deactivated202403

- … Babes.. One moment you're there and the next you deactivated 😭

@minholing

-MWAH 😚💕💕❣❣ (I can't figure out what to say, so here's hearts ♡♡♡)

@cinnamostar

- Hihihi how are you doing, i remember smth abt this guy from a party? How's that lol, and I love your fake texts :]

@143staytiny

-Literally so fuking sweet Ily <33  your long paragraphs kinda intimidate me..but it's a-ok! Some people write long texts, some short. Alsooo WHERE IS THE PLAYLIST 😭😭 

@zee-143

-No but I actually luv u, might be stalking me though 🧐 and ur headcanons/lil oneshots  stole my heart.. Ngl I didn't know you wrote them, I should pay more attention to the authors.. We're officially besties now whether you like it or not. 😇 And we be matching 🤭

@lixxpix

-Hihihi I'm so sorry I forgot you 😔 I honestly have no idea if we've interacted before.. ilyt 😅💕💕 Mwah mwah 💋❣

@azuna-sz

-Hiii! Newest mootie here :] I hope we get to know each other more. How's your day been so far?

@viviworkshere

-Hi mon cheri, I think I've won the boop war earlier hehe. You're cute and I loved your fic, I like you, take care

@sona1800

-So sweet and very cool 😎 I have no clue what to say so bare with me D:

@crispxxxx

- I feel like you’re stalking me pt.2 🧐 But uhm, I srsly don't know what to say but you seem cool :DD

@atinyniki

-Are you ok bro, don't die. Ilyy 🤭💕 I'm a big fan

@yangbbokari

-Why are you still here lol, sending ❣❣❣💕💕💓💓

@jinnie-ret

-Hehe, hi. I love your writing :DD I like you too :DD

@cheesemonky

-First to adopt me, my momma. If it isn’t obvious enough, I rly like u! And your writing is amazing too, you’re very admirable and I’m 100% sure you’re very pretty

@theoncelerswifearoo

-My first ever moot here! I don’t think I’ve actually talked with you lol 😓 Wayyyy back when I was in my onceler phase (a year ago?), we became moots :)  I don’t even know if you use tumblr anymore tbh…

@skzoologist

-Omg when I first talked to you, I thought I was dreaming or smth.. Like, I love everything about you and you know me now?? 🤯 And now, we talk more 😌 I'm improving with my sleep schedule btw! I don't rly take baths that late anymore 🥳 

@silverstarburst

- I just watch your interactions from afar so I dunno what to say for you 😭 here’s a heart?? <33

@foivestarrsketchez

-I do not remember if we interacted before.. But you seem cool, let's be friends 💜 

@crabrangoongirl25

-I dunno you that much yet I'm so sorry 🙏💕 You seem cool and I'm kinda intimidated 

@lilistayskz

-I don't know you that much yet I'm so sorry 😞 I hope we get to talk more and become closer hehe

@homuncvlus

-I don't know you much yet I'm so sorry 😞💞 But I see you pop up a lot in my feed and activity hehe 💓 

@nyukyujs

-I dunno you much yet 😞 But uhm I like your writing and 💞❣💕

@dwaekkiforpresident

-🧍‍♀️I'm kinda intimidated by you, 😚💕

I'M SORRY IF THESE AREN'T GREAT, I WAS QUITE LITERALLY PANICKING WHILE WRITING THIS BECAUSE WHAT IF ONE OF YOU GUYS GET OFFENDED OR SMTH SO I APOLOGIZE 🙏 I LOVE YOU ALL MWAH MWAH 😚💕💋❣💓💗

IF YOU AREN'T HERE PLEASE TELL ME DD: I MUST'VE FORGETTEN ...

[writingquestionsanswered]

Scared to Commit to Dream Project

xuliaxuxu asked: I'm an aspiring author who has been writing for a long time but never actually committed to my dream project because it scares me. I've read a lot about structure, good character development and arcs, and how it all works, but I'm still scared of not being able to write a story I'm proud of. Do you have any tips on how to get through the outlining process and first draft without feeling so much pressure on your shoulders? And are the first steps in writing a novel where you have so many ideas but don’t know how to organise them? It’s been a lonely process since I have no writer friends to talk about these specific struggles. Thank you for your lovely work here on tumblr it has been inspiring me a whole lot!

[Ask edited for length]

If it's any reassurance, the fact that you've been teaching yourself about structure and character development puts you ahead of a lot of writers when they first start out. But it's also a bit of a double-edged sword, because that knowledge raises the bar for what you expect to be able to accomplish. And unfortunately, having the knowledge doesn't mean you can instantly apply it perfectly. You still need to practice applying that knowledge before you can get really good at it. It's sort of like this: if you wanted to get really good at hand lettering, you could watch hours and hours of videos about how to do it... you could learn about the different techniques and the lingo, etc., but that doesn't mean you'll be able to do flawless hand lettering the first time you pick up a brush marker. You'll still have to actually practice those techniques for a while to get really good at it. Writing is the exact same way. And that can be frustrating because you know what you want to accomplish, and you have the knowledge to get yourself there, you just don't have the actual skills to actually get there yet.

So, here's what I recommend... keep the dream project on the back-burner for now. You can still work on the pre-planning (because even that qualifies as practice), but in the meantime work on other projects to get the practice in. There's a little bit of sacrifice here because you should find ideas you're excited about, but you have to write them knowing they're not going to be your best work. And that's fine, because writing them doesn't mean you have to share them or publish them. You can write them and keep them on the shelf as a reminder of the work you've done along the way. You can also revisit favorite projects later to revamp them with a more practiced skill set.

Working on something you're excited about and love--but which has the leeway to be not your best work--is the absolute best way to take the pressure off yourself when outlining and getting through the first draft. Once you've done this a few times and you know you're getting the hang of it, you can revisit your dream project, and just the fact that you know what you're doing will take a ton of that pressure off. Another thing that will help once you get to that point is remembering that your outline and first draft don't have to be perfect--and they won't be. Part of the writing process is having the flexibility to change things as you go, to tweak and improve, even into the later drafts. Developmental editing wouldn't exist if your outline and first draft had to be structurally perfect. :)

As far as organizing a lot of ideas, you might find it helpful to find a story planner of some kind. These exist as web sites (Novlr), apps (Fabula), programs (Scrivener), workbooks (Outlining Your Novel Workbook by K.M. Weiland), and you can even find time for download on Etsy. You can probably also find free ones to download if you can't spend any money. If nothing else, get yourself a multi-subject notebook and divide it into sections like plot, characters, world, brainstorm and get all those ideas out into their individual sections. Even that can make a big difference.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[startographist]

☆ﾟ⁠ . * ･⁠ ｡ﾟDEAR SOULMATE — PROLOGUE I 🪽

prev. mlist. next

wistful, dreamy, and vague— those are the three words kazuha describes kunikuzushi's pieces. wistful that you can feel the nostalgia by just looking at it, dreamy and vague as if it lets the viewers reciprocate what the piece truly means. 

but one thing about kunikuzushi's pieces that makes them genuinely recognizable is the muse.

in every painting, a muse in white is always included, if it's not the main focus of the piece, the muse is present.

kunikuzushi doesn't know why he paints a specific muse either, he certainly can't say that it's a force of habit or has seen the muse before in fact, the muse is just a product of his void of imagination.

every time that he tries not to paint the muse he either ends up unconsciously painting her or he feels that something is missing...

there's no denying that painting her was an unspoken law itself.

and he dared not to break it.

because from the base of her neck to the arch of her eyelids, her beauty made a slave of him.

 

soulmates. he thought it was worthless.

soulmates are a useless and unpleasant concept, the red string tied to his pinky finger is served as a distraction for him.

and the idea of commitment itself scares him and as if being tied to another is gonna change everything... he's abandoned after all, hope isn't gonna do anything hell— it will crush you to pieces, he knows it too damn well.

but with a red string looped to his finger twitching, he wonders...will his soulmate be the one who'll heal him? some even suggest that the muse in white is his soulmate, whether it's true or not, he doesn't care or so he thinks...

he's in a sheer in denial but one day, he dreams, he'll have his soulmate to dedicate all of his pieces... and so, he secretly waits for that day...

a hint of elegance and serenity, its aroma dancing around her, each sniff leaving a feeling of contentment that made her grin. she can still feel the softness of petals on her fingertips. she admired the sight that made her eyes beam with admiration as she grasped the stem between her index and thumb.

she knelt in front of the flowers, which looked at her with grandeur that she would never achieve. she wasn't bothered by other people's conversations or footsteps since her complete attention was on the flowers in front of her.

they danced whenever the wind was too strong outdoors. the noises of gasping from the women wearing skirts could be heard, but she was unaffected. she desires a stronger breeze so that the flowers can swing gracefully with it. the scarlet string in her pinky twitched, yet she chose to be ignorant as her attention still on flowers.

when one of the petals dropped on her hand, she giggled. It was blue, a colour that many people consider basic, yet any colour mixed with it makes it appear much more lively in her opinion. despite the noises in the distance, she feels as if she's in heaven since everything is just too serene for her.

she worried that the peacefulness will soon be disrupted by unwanted tragedy.

a special butterfly was letting itself arrive and dance with the breeze as the tiny shop's bell chimed. such a small object with a kaleidoscope of colours whirling around it, a tiny work of art that drew her gaze in enjoyment.

as it landed gently on one of the petals, its wings fluttered in a little way. she gazed at it, and no matter how much she deny it, she believe it stared back at her. it soared away, high and free, with one hand rising and her fingertip almost brushing its wings. she wonders oh-so carefully, maybe this butterfly is my soulmate, she thinks.

she runs after the butterfly, ignoring the stares from people who thought it was a childish act. bumping into different people but she paid no mind as her eyes and mind are focused on the little creature that entranced her minutes ago.

then again, the scarlet string started twitching, perhaps glowing.

she ran after it, but she stopped when it landed on someone else. again blue is the color she tends to ignore, but somehow it caught her eye this time on an ordinary day. she got lost and instead stared at those ocean eyes as the man was crouching down and studying the flowers in front of him.

she looks down on her pinky finger again. and there, it glows.

the way the flowers danced once more made everything perfect. there was so much beauty that she felt it was out of this world. at this point, she felt butterflies in her stomach take over her and her emotions.

"woah..." she uttered under her breath, almost as if the scene in front of her had taken her breath away.

her finger landed on one of the petals, his fingertip barely brushing against hers as it was on the other side of the flower, put on another petal. she was so close, yet so far away; if she had only allowed herself to get closer, she might have been able to reach him.

she could've reached towards the beauty itself.

It wasn't the butterfly that drew her attention anymore; instead, it was his figure. His colourslors and build, his physical traits, with his fingertip almost brushing against hers.

Her gaze never broke from his, and as the bell rang again, those stunning eyes finally met hers.

glowing red string,  eyes locked, both bamboozled.

two individuals stare at each other seemingly bewitched to each other.

her, who is hauntingly beautiful, and him who's gorgeous as a porcelain doll...

in the midst of the serenic warmth of inazuma, summer joy filled atmosphere, two individuals are in chase of finding what this all means.

"it's you." he muttered under his breath, cursing at the fact that he feels the nervousness brimming to his nerves.

she shakily stood up, eyes wide in shock. and as funny as it is, she wore a white dress highlighting the fact that the muse in his paintings was not a product of his imagination but is actually his soulmate. this also highlights her beauty even more, with golden hues of warm sun pouring over her figure.

her e/c eyes scanned over his short stature, seemingly entranced at the doll-like features.

"you're pretty..." she breathed.

the first change of words was sure a bittersweet one.

to be entangled with someone forever was already a bittersweet fate.

and yet here they are, ready to face the pre-birth agreement they made...

TAGLIST (open) ; @sakiimeo

NOTES ; uuuuu im so tiredge // credits to yizheng ke on art station on slide one !!

smau by startographist! plagiarizing, distributing and translating without the author's permission is a violation against creative rights.

[bogkeep]

HAIZ EXPLAINS AMATONORMATIVITY: REDUX

it's 2014. a teenager rummages through the newspaper at breakfast. they're looking for comic strips, but instead see the headline of the sports pages, proclaiming some famous sports guy is "NOT INTERESTED IN RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT NOW."

"really?" thinks the young haiz, "that's meant to be news? the sports news??"

it's not like they'd ever read the sports pages before, but the scandal in that headline would not leave their brain zeitgeist of the day. it was a metaphorical pebble thrown at them — not the first, but the one that made them go "HEY. STOP THAT???" so they took to the keyboard to yell into the void to hey, stop that.

then the void responded.

what i wrote that day was probably one of the first posts about amatonormativity to make rounds on tumblr. i did not expect it to get thousands of notes, and it's no longer on my blog. even though the majority of the response to it was positive, i wouldn't want to bring it back, because

- it was written in a very 2014 way

- with very 2014 thoughts

- some people were really cruel to me for writing it

- i still can't read it without wincing

but:

i can write a new one.

this is not an argument about who is or isn't oppressed. that is not an argument i'm interested in entertaining, and it's not what this post is about. human life on earth is incredibly diverse and complex and i'm just here to-

OH MY GOD WHAT IS AMATONORMATIVITY ALREADY

okay so amatonormativity is like. the idea that A Lasting, Monogamous & Exclusive Romantic Relationship is the most important type of relationship in the entire world and the thing we should all strive for in our lives. (insert obligatory "the term was coined by professor elizabeth brake in the book minimizing marriage" here.)

it's not exclusively an "omg it's so hard to be aro :(" thing, because it's like, an all-encompassing Narrative foisted upon us that shapes the way we view and talk about relationships, and it does everyone a disservice (as is the case with all Normativities! we want to break 'em ALL down!! for everyone!!!!!!). nor is it intended to make people feel bad for wanting long-lasting monogamous romantic relationships! that's your personal business and i wish you well!

(it IS kind of hard to be aro in a world that constantly argues that you're lacking The Most Important Experience That Makes You Human And Life Worth Living though. not gonna lie.)

- an easy example is how the word Love is, in a Lot of instances, for a Lot of people, basically synonymous with Red Hearts Kissy Kissy Smooch Smooch. like we ALL KNOW love is more than that, we love friends and family and strangers who were nice to us that one time and our pets and our favourite foods and our favourite shows. you kind of have to clarify when you mean Love in any other way than Romantic Love. which is wild, considering how Love is such a vast emotion that covers a lot of ground, and it keeps zeroing in on this specific kind.

- related to that, i have a whole internalised powerpoint presentation about how, if you put all of your relationships with other people in a pie chart, the Romantic Partner slice is likely to be very small compared to the Family slice and Friend slice and Acquaintance slice and all these other connections you have - yet it has, comparatively, a LOT of publicity and framework that some of the other categories find themself lacking. yes, a romantic partner/s is/are someone you're likely to share a lot of time and life with, so it makes some sense for sure - but not everyone has romantic partners, or the same priorities as far as commitment goes.

- the stigmatisation of being single/unpartnered. i get the impression that a lot of people have stayed in unsatisfactory relationships because it sounds better than the Dreadful, Terrible Alternative of Not Being In A Relationship. i think there has been a lot of pushback against this particular mindset in recent years, always flaring up around valentine's day for some reason - but it still feels like it's expected to be a Temporary State, not something you'd choose or prefer.

- romance as a Humanising Component in storytelling. say you've got some sort of non-human character, such as a Robot or a Beast. what is the easiest way for them to gain Personhood in the eyes of the audience? probably by falling in love, because falling in love is the Most Human Thing There Is. i think this also extends to queer stories in a similar way - a queer romance may win over a non-queer audience in a way other queer narratives may not, an "oh they're just like us" moment, if you will. these aren't bad stories to have, and queer romances are important stories to tell! it's just... tinged with a taste of "very well.... if it's TRUE LOVE... i can find it in me to extend some compassion......."

(and! on the flipside! an easy way to dehumanise an antagonist is to be like "AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN FEEL LOVE THEY JUST HAD NO HEART THEY WERE SO INHUMAN ")

(speaking of stories you know when a series ends and they partner up all the remaining single characters in a hurry or in the epilogue because god forbid they dON'T GET PARTNERS)

- you know how the reason for legalizing same-sex marriage wasn't because marriage is THE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION TRUE LOVE, but because it comes with a lot of legal rights such as tax benefits and hospital visitation rights? and uhhhhh isn't it kind of weird that marriage is the One thing that gives u a lot of those rights and it's 1) still presented as The Ultimate Expression Of True Love And The End Goal Of Life rather than a legal contract, and 2) not available to everyone? I THINK IT'S KIND OF WEIRD.

- polyamorous relationships are also stigmatised & there's a lot of work to do when it comes to marriage & parental rights for polyamorous couples. i'm sure one could write an entire list on this topic from a polyam/relationship anarchy angle.

- the stigma against sex In General is rooted in so many things, and i believe that a huge part of breaking down amatonormativity is to destigmatize casual sex, sexual relationships that aren't romantic, sex work + sex worker rights & everything in this category. thinking about sex as a thing you can/should only do with the love of your life after you're married hasn't served us very well, i think.

- the idea that our entire life is building up to The One Important Relationship is garbage. we have a lot of relationships in our lives, many of them temporary, and all of them matter to us in some way. you are not a half looking for another half to complete you - even the most compatible person on the earth is still going to be a human person who is flawed and ever changing.

- ok so there's a thing that happens when people want to prove a gay couple is Actually Dating and not Just Gal Pals and it's like "WOULD FRIENDS EVER DO THIS???" referring to some kind of intimate moment - and it's like, i get what you're trying to prove, but... some friends Would Do That, Actually. there is no act on earth wholly exclusive to romantic relationships. i subscribe to the idea that everyone gets to decide how they define their relationships, and what boundaries they have for each kind. maybe they WILL kiss their homies on the lips. with tongue.

- queerplatonic relationships: not only did we have to create a term for a Kind of committed relationship that isn't a romantic one, but we have to fight the deluge of "but that's just dating!!!!!" and "that's just having a best friend!!!!" - the thing is, it CAN be those things if you choose to, or it can be A Secret Third Thing. the way i see it, a queerplatonic relationship is just a Framework you can apply to a relationship that's like, There, but doesn't seem to fully fit into existing categories. because the human experience is vast and weird! i think it's unfair and kinda normative to reduce it to "dating, but for aros" - an Oddly Intimate Connection That Is Hard To Categorize can befall anyone, and as i presented in my pie chart theory, we don't have a lot of framework to discuss them.

that's all i've got for today. i hope this was enlightening or affirming for some <3

[ct-99xx]

My Tech Theory

Hi everybody. I'm new here. I just marathoned all of the Bad Batch in like three days. I'm absolutely broken up over Tech, but as I've been digging into the theory-crafting and surveys going around, I haven't seen my main theory mentioned, so I feel the need to add it to the pile. I want to start by saying I badly want to get Tech back, but I also am not willing to commit to the idea that he's definitely coming back. I am not making myself any promises. Instead, this is specifically what I think is the most likely way he might come back, based on the Season 3 trailer. The big thing the trailer tells us is that Palpatine is really interested in getting Nala Se to do some specific new, different thing with cloning. Something she says is impossible. What could that be? Well y'all, I am an ancient Star Wars fan. And I have at least a vague idea of how Palpatine's clones work. Or how they worked in older continuities, anyway. Palpatine wants clones who can get his memories and powers after he dies. I don't know precisely how this works in canon. I don't think the specifics have been established in the current canon yet. But what has been established is that somehow Palpatine returned. He definitely has access to extra life clone bullshit in the future. And future Palpatine has all his powers and memories.

That's what I think Nala Se is working on: a method to make a clone that has (or gains) the memories of a dead person. So if Tech is dead, he'd be a perfect candidate for this specific experiment: can a dead person's personality and memory be re-uploaded to a newly cloned version of their body? Now, even if my theory is true, here are the reasons this might not work to give us our happy ending: Palpatine's clones might require the memory backup to occur BEFORE death. It could be that they TRY to do the cloning trick on Tech, but they just produce a clone of his body, and can't upload his memories. This gives us... something at least, but it's still very sad. Tech2 could be a failed attempt at making a vessel for Tech's memories, after which Nala Se figures out that you have to get [Something] from the body before death to get the results that Palpatine wants. I'm guessing that we will at least see someone who is a clone of Tech, even if they aren't ACTUALLY our boy. We may even see several. Why else would they let us know that Hemlock has Tech's body? Even if Tech's dead, that's a real Chekov's corpse right there. Will the person who looks like him actually BE Tech? I'm not willing to promise that. But dang I hope at least one of them will be.

[goldensunset]

i'm curious, do you have any thoughts on whether its more narratively fitting for n to have zekrom in black or reshiram in white? its been a debate for ages, i'm personally on the zekrom side and dont really understand the reshiram argument

OOOOH ok i think i did overhear a snippet of that debate on your blog a while back but of course i didn't understand any of it yet. i have been thinking about that... my first instinct would be to agree and say zekrom the dragon of ideals is more fitting. buuuut i really do think you can argue both ways so i will do so here

so! truth and ideals. what he wants and what he thinks is true. what he wants, deep down, is undeniable- he wants pokémon to be happy. that's his ideal world no matter what. what he seems to want specifically is the separation of pokémon and humans. that's the ideal that he works toward, and it's because he holds a misguided view of reality. what he believes to be true is that keeping pokémon is abusive. because of this factoid, because he firmly believes the world is a certain way, he feels spurred to action to remedy that. he values that which he perceives as truth and wants to bring it to light. both truth and ideals are therefore thematically relevant to him because they line up- hold firm to the truth you know, not letting anyone else tell you otherwise, and let it drive you to make changes for the better in the world and seek your ideal.

BUT. does he really believe that idea about abuse to be true? at first, yes of course. but as he says- from the moment he begins traveling the world, and more specifically upon meeting the player- he begins to notice that pokémon seem happy with people. he doesn't understand. this goes against everything he had been told about the world. so, do these experiences make him change his mind about what the truth is? maybe bit by bit. does he admit the error of his ways and step down and step off? NOPE.

and that's the crucial bit. the real, actual truth is right there in front of him but he can't bring himself to acknowledge it. he has committed himself to a certain ideal and he's going to see it through or fall gloriously while trying. he's set his heart on conquering unova and making it perfect, bringing about the noble ideal of happiness for humans and pokémon alike- except by now he knows that's founded on a lie. would reshiram, the dragon of truth, really accept him as a hero with that sort of dissonance in his heart? or would it rather accept the hero who truly does understand and accept the way the world is, as a mixed bag of good and bad?

but on the other hand you could argue he's well aware of and in acknowledgement of the truth. he truly has witnessed the abuse of pokémon before. that isn't a lie- it's just a statistical minority that he's only just now finding out is a minority. but even if it is- for a guy who loves pokémon that much, that's completely intolerable. it doesn't matter how many trainers are good people- even one hurt pokémon is one too many. it's not worth the gamble of continuing to let it happen. so even if he has witnessed the truth of the majority of the world now, his truth isn't all wrong either. it's still very much significant to him. he has a fuller understanding of the world than most do, as someone who's seen both the good and bad of it. and he does admit something like this to the player at mistralton- he knows they're a good and kind trainer, but still says the separation needs to happen, even though that would bring about injustice to good trainers.

in this situation, he can probably recognize that there's both something to be gained and lost either way, whether trainerdom continues or not- and also that those two aren't necessarily equal. there will be pain for certain pokémon if it continues, and there will be pain for MANY people and MANY pokémon if it stops. maybe in that situation after having travelled the world he can understand by now which option is truly better. which is the real ideal world, the lesser of two evils. but that sad fact of pokémon abuse is so significant to him that he'd rather still forgo the world as it is now. he clings so stubbornly to a certain truth that he forgets to look at the big picture of things and consider what really is ideal.

in the end though the question is, i guess- which is more thematically fitting for him to fly off on and keep as his best friend? he's learned his lesson in the end that he was doing the wrong thing, and determined that the two dragons representing truth and ideals don't need to fight. but even so it's not like the two dragons reunite. he still stays with one. and he still lost the fight to the player with the other one. so the real question is, in the greater scheme of things, which one won the fight narratively? truth or ideals? what lesson did he learn? what lesson did we learn?

SIKE i think that's taking things too far lol. like i said it could go either way and also they don't need to fight. and the dragon isn't purely symbolic it's also like his bestie at that point of course he's gonna keep it even if he's a changed person lol. anyway hope you enjoyed my academic essay i only completed my degree in this particular field of study about 18 hours ago so i hope i'm qualified enough to talk about this

[anawrites3]

I want someone (not me) to write a Bodyguard!Sladick fic - but in a very specific way (I'll probs end up writing this unless someone beats me to it (pls beat me to it someone, I can't commit to another WIP))

Basically, someone kills Bruce Wayne. And not because he's batman, but because he's rich af and refuses to sell his land in Gotham (bc yk, bro can't sell the fucking batcave and all his safe houses full of Batmerch). But no one knows who killed Bruce and why but they all believe it's because they found out Batman's identity and needed him out of the way for something.

21 year old Dick Grayson, who hasn't spoken to Bruce or had anything to do with the Batfam for two years, is asked to come back for Bruce's funeral and reading of the Will. Turns out, Bruce left everything - and I mean everything; cape and all - to Dick. Dick is now The Batman, the leader of the JL, the billionaire, the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and also the legal guardian of not one, not two, but three kids. Jason and Tim was understandable, but Bruce never mentioned to Dick about having a kid with Talia al Ghul of all people. In all fairness, Damian was only dropped off at Bruce's feet two months ago. (Note that I'm fucking around with the Batboy's ages. Thus, Jason is 16 (bro died young), Tim is 14(bro was crazy stalking so young), and Damian in 9(bro is just young))

The killer, however, is still at large, and is now targeting Dick, the new Prince of Gotham, and his kids. But Batman (Dick) can't get involved just yet, the Batfam don't know what exactly the killers knows about them and Batman - it's too risky. But Dick can't just not do anything. So he calls the one person he knows will keep his family safe - for the right price, obvs.

Dick has money to play with and Slade loves a good game.

Basically they make a contract that issues Deathstroke as the bodyguard of the Grayson-Wayne Family until Bruce's killer is handled.

Only, Slade comes with his own baggage (aka a 9 yr old Rose Wilson) and Dick is stuck training (aka raising) another kid. But that's fine, because Slade ends up being less of Dick's bodyguard (let's face it, the kid can handle himself), and more of Dick's bodyguard-with-benefits/mentor/business partner/mental-support-bestie/drinking-buddy/private-chef/co-parent/stay-at-home-husband/love-of-his-life.

They get very domestic in this fic. And Slade has to wear a three-piece suit when following Dick around as he plays Gotham's Billion Dollar Prince and Dick can't stop riding him in the back of the Batmobile because Slade looks waaaaay too good in a suit.

But raising kids is hard, especially when you're 21. So Dick faces a lot of challenges in this fic - like his undead brother, Jason, trying to come to terms with Bruce dying right after they started to mend their relationship, and Tim who was just recently fired as Robin after one simple mistake, and his new rage at Bruce for that and dying (he refuses to believe his dead), and fuck - the nine year old assassin and grandson of Ra's al Ghul, Damian, who never truly had the pleasure (misfortune?) of knowing his father. Than there's Rose Wilson, who doesn't really know English all that well and is dealing with the trauma of watching her mother die before her.

So Dick has to really step up - as a business man, as a leader, as Batman, and as a father.

Luckily he's got Slade, who fuck's like he fights. It tuff that Dick is quickly falling in love with Slade, and Rose, who he can't help but see as his kid, too.

Oh I love this idea so much, its great!! I would love to read it as well ahaha and I might write something 👀👀 but it's a big project so I wouldn't be able to do the whole thing

But you can let me know if you have any fav/special scene in mind (or a few 😌) and I might write it. You can also check out my commission info if that's what you'd preffer and you're able to afford it!

I love bodyguard Slade stories, I'm a sucker for those honestly haha and I love how here he's protecting not only Dick but the whole family. And its just so delicious that Dick hasn't talked to Bruce in so long and now he's thrown back into his life- but Bruce is dead and Dick has to take on the mantle and help the city and raise three kids and keep them all alive and not go crazy and-

I love that you're making it even more messy and difficult for Dick by putting Rose in the middle of it too lmao. I can already imagine all the trouble the family would have together

Slade wearing a three piece is a sight and I don't blame Dick at all 🙈🙈 But seriously, I adore their relationship in this, it's so complex and complicated. I can imagine them bonding over some whisky when the kids are deep asleep and Dick getting frustrated with what his life is now and Slade just letting him cry while holding him close AGHH SO GOOD

Thank you for sharing! Again, its a great idea and I'd love to play with it a bit if you allow me 🤗💕

[ikamigami]

Sun helping others doesn't mean he stopped being suicidal..

When you're suicidal.. it's very fluctuative state.. suicidal thoughts comes in crushing amounts and some time later they can lessen.. but it still doesn't mean that someone isn't suicidal..

Like.. I always liked helping others and I was struggling with a lot of issues and I had suicidal thoughts..

You have better days.. and worse days...

Also does anyone remember when Moon said "I'll check on that later" and he was talking about Sun's comment to computer "Shoot me.. let's end this already".. It was in "Sun and Moon vs Mimic" episode...

And Moon never checked on that.. it was never brought up again...

Fans quickly forgot about it.. saying that Sun expressed having suicidal thoughts only that one time when he said "sometimes I wish I was dead"...

That's sad to be honest...

I blame mainstream media for how people see suicide. It seems that people think that only seemingly depressed people commit suicide which is untrue. In most cases people who killed themselves didn't have any diagnosis.

Another thing is that when someone is suicidal.. they're giving hints and clues that they are suicidal.. And I see this with Sun..

Even if others don't see anything it doesn't mean that there are no hints and clues..

And with Sun there's a lot of that and I talked about it a lot as well..

Another thing is that people are confused by the fact that people don't always commit suicide in "irrational way"..

Many people have plans, even very specific and detailed plans to end their own lives..

Unfortunately people often times think that those who commit suicide are selfish which is totally untrue..

Getting back to Sun.. we don't see his p.o.v. on events that are happening.. like for example we don't know what Sun was thinking when he and Moon found out that star is slowly killing Eclipse.. He walked away to think about it but we still don't know to what conclusion he got.. Or after his encounter with New BM Sun wasn't saying anything.. like he could even say I won't ever forgive them or I won't be giving anyone another chances... But he was silent when Moon and Solar were talking about the fiasco of their hunt for BM... Or he was silent when Earth said that maybe Eclipse could've changed...

Like we know a lot of p.o.v. of other characters, like we know more even about Solar.. and ofc I'm not talking about emotions but about characters thoughts regarding something..

And well.. Sun barely talks his thoughts out on any situation.. and again I'm not talking about ideas.. but thoughts which allow us to connect with said character more...

And that's why probably so many people don't understand Sun's character.. because showrunners don't give us his p.o.v. even if we get to see what he's doing...

Like why we don't see Sun questioning his own morals like he gave BM a chance and yet he seems so adamant on getting rid of Eclipse.. Something doesn't add up... The only thing Sun is doing is that he's recently voicing more of his intrusive thoughts.. and that's it.

We know that Sun is thinking about villains a lot cause he mentioned Eclipse a few times before he returned or now he was mentioning BM a few times as well... But we don't actually know what he's thinking! Like tell us! Tell us already something, Sun! Share your thoughts with us!

I'm sure that it's intentional on showed part.. We can't find out what Sun is actually thinking about various things.. not yet at least...

I really think that they're heading for some shocking reveal about Sun.. it won't be probably shocking to me but that's because I'm paying attention to what is happening with him...

At the end I like to bring up what I realised recently..

We know that Sun not always is cleaning the Daycare.. sometimes others do that for him e.g. Solar and Moon.. I don't remember in which episode it was but Solar said that they finished cleaning up the Daycare just like Sun likes it..

Which shows us that Sun doesn't even clean up that much.. He told about that to Earth during therapy session..

Someone could've thought and probably many really thought that it's a good thing cause he isn't cleaning so much anymore..

But when you realise that Sun isn't doing much beside cleaning - he only spends a whole day at computer.. So what he's actually doing?

Like I said he doesn't have that much involvement in plannings with Moon and Solar, he most of the time listen to their commands.. He doesn't contribute that much to plannings..

I think that Sun showed Solar and Moon how to properly clean up the Daycare because then they'll be able to clean it up on their own after he'll kill himself..

They don't need him.. that's what he thinks and that's why he's passing down his knowledge to others...

[yardsards]

I hear you and I agree with you but also I raise you: queerplatonic the spares?

assuming you're talking about this post that i made a while back but blew up again recently?

i got a very similar ask back when i first made the post (which is buried somewhere in the depths of my blog bc tumblr search sucks) and i'll say now approximately what i said back then:

that kind of sucks too, actually.

the main problem with the "pair the spares" and "everyone must be paired" tropes is that they generally imply that it's not a happy ending unless everyone is in a committed monogamous romantic relationship. that characters (and real people, by extension) are somehow incomplete without a romantic partner, just like a sad single sock.

and removing the word "romantic" (or even any of the other adjectives as well) from those sentences and allowing them to include queerplatonic partnerships too doesn't really make the idea that much better. doing that doesn't break down the walls, just widens them a bit so that more people can be allowed in.

like yeah, one of the problems with the "you're incomplete without a romantic partner" idea is that it excludes people who can't feel romance. but that's far from the ONLY problem with it (in fact, the term "amatonormativity" wasn't even coined with aromantics specifically in mind, iirc).

it tells single people that they're not good enough, that they're incomplete. it tells single people who want a relationship that this isn't just a matter of "aw bummer, you want this thing but don't have it yet" but is rather a massive fundamental issue in their life that must take priority and be solved posthaste. it tells people who are happily single (including happily single alloromantics. because yes, they exist. not everyone who feels romantic attraction necessarily thinks that getting into a traditional romantic relationship about those feelings is right for them) that they're just deluding themselves and that they truly would be happiest in a partnership. it tells people who are in unhappy relationships that it would be better to stay than to become single. it says that relationships must look a certain way. it says that friendship is insufficient and is always inherently lesser than a partnership.

and allowing "partnership" and "relationship" to include queerplatonic as well as romantic doesn't fix a lot of those

amatonormativity is a cage that hurts those who can fit themselves in it as well as those who can't. widening the cage to allow more people in won't fix that. and there will always be people who don't fit inside the cage no matter how much you widen it. for example, non-partnering aros exist and would still be excluded here.

(and on another note: "pair the spares" and "everyone must be paired" generally are used derisively to refer to like. when characters are shoddily shoved together last minute because the writers couldn't figure out what else to do with them. it's generally just like, bad writing. and while i would LOVE more queerplatonic relationships, i want them to actually be GOOD, not just be some sloppy seconds leftover from a romantic ship.)

anyway i got rambly and possibly confusing there, and went Way Too Deep about what was almost definitely just a silly lighthearted ask. but i have so many Thoughts on the matter

there's just like. this mindset i notice (primarily in newer/younger aromantics who have just begun to question amatonormativity). where they see queerplatonic relationships and just think "ah, so this is just our version of a romantic relationship?" and don't really think about the complexities. ignoring the fact that some social constructs around romance are simply Not Good and that they will not become good if you separate them from romance. and ignoring that queerplatonic relationships are not always just "like a romantic relationship but minus the romance".

like it's a mindset that i understand (and i think was a lot like how i thought when i was younger and first figuring out these concepts). because this shit is CONFUSING and hard to explain and complicated to think about and so hard to unpack. so i hope i'm not coming across as rude to anon or anyone like that. it's just kinda something that's on my mind a good bit so i went off on a ramble, y'know?

edit: dug up the old post with a similar ask

[bardicious]

Saw a post with Chapel/Spock interactions in TOS and SNW, and honestly, I change my mind, I don't think it's fair to say she necessarily wishes Spock were human, or prefers his "human side" more.

But I think there's an audible difference between how Chapel expresses her love for Spock and how Jim expresses his. Jim never has any expectations of what Spock should be like in their friendship, Jim takes what Spock is willing to give him. Jim enjoys Spock's friendship, and finds it compatible, so he will seek out more interactions with Spock. But if Spock didn't feel the same, Jim would have simply moved on.

Their relationship works specifically because they don't give each other unreasonable expectations. Spock and Jim simply are. And what they have, as a result, is a bond that works off and plays off each other. They're what the other has been missing their whole life. It's not a relationship, it's simply each other's company that draws them. And it can express itself romantically, platonically, familiarly. But it doesn't need to be placed in a box to be secure.

When we match this up with Chapel and Spock's relationship, Spock is exploring his human and vulcan side in SNW, but the connection between both the women he interacts with appears less than romantic, more like Spock entangling his feelings of friendship with romance to the two women who have pursued him.

Chapel, while combating her own commitment issues, simply either expects too much from Spock, or too little. She falls in love with Spock hard and fast, but its after a string of failed relationships that she sabotaged herself. Maybe Spock can be different, because he's the perfect guy to love. Courageous, smart, kind, and they become friends fast, if she can commit to anyone, it should be him. But she soon finds she can't. Then presumably abandons the relationship (yet to be seen, but pretty sure it's going this route). Chapel and Spock started their relationship off on unequal footing.

And tbh, if we follow TOS, their friendship doesn't really withstand their breakup. We still have Chapel pining, we see that Spock has quite visibly moved on, but they don't even spend much time together outside of hanging out with McCoy or Jim. Their very beginnings were hinged on the idea of a romance, not a friendship, but I do believe Chapel does love Spock, who he is as a half human and a half vulcan, it's just unfortunately quite unrequited even when it's seemingly requited.

[noyasaur]

hii, i have a question rq :)

so basically every single time i try and shift, i obv make a script for that DR i wanna shift to. But, when its time for me to shift i randomly dont feel like shifting to that DR anymore, but a different one that i dont have a script for yet. Then i have to make a whole different script, then it repeats 😭 is there a way i can stop this cuz i just wanna shift already😔 I know scripts arent required but i like them

Have a good day!! Also i love ur pfp <3

hope my question makes sense !!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

hellooo! i totally understand your situation and i often struggle with these kinds of things too- with indecisiveness and where to shift. so i'll try and give you tips and suggestions to help you with this!

my first suggestion for you is, if you often find yourself wanting to shift to different drs as soon as you finish a script for one, you could always just script for a waiting room reality! in that reality, you could make it so you script for all your desired realities in that reality, AND you also can shift to any reality you like from your waiting room!

that way, you don't need to worry about deciding on what reality to shift to since you cam just shift to a waiting room where from there, you can script for any dr you want at anytime, and shift to any dr from there too! this is personally what i do sometimes, since i don't often have a clear idea on what reality i want to shift to and i want to shift to realities where i haven't scripted for them but i can't be bothered to do so, i can choose to shift to my waiting room and do all of that there!

on the other hand, if you don't want to do that, i suggest to give some time for yourself to figure out what exactly you want to experience. you could always make a list of all the desired realities you want to shift to, and reasons for doing so. lookover your list and sort through the high priority realities that you DEFINITELY want to shift to. figure out if there are realities that you are truly ready to experience and WANT to experience first-hand, or is is just a reality that you like daydreaming about? figure out what you truly want before you fully commit to making a script for a reality. and for those 'high priority' realities you really feel like shifting to, just go ahead and make a script for it!

or if you get an impulsive feeling of wanting to shift to another reality after finishing a script for another one, ask yourself: why do you want to experience this reality? write it down and the desired reality as well. give yourself a few hours or a day or even a week to decide so, and if the desire to shift to a specific reality passes over quickly, then you know it was just an impulsive thought and you actually don't care too much about shifting over there.

however, if it's been however length of time you've set for yourself, and you're still thinking about wanting to shift to that specific reality, then for sure you can definitely know that this is a reality you want to experience. let the feeling of initial excitement and desire and bubble down to think clearly on what you truly want to experience at the moment!

using myself as an example, i often script for some desired realities and then get the idea of shifting to another reality while doing so (and i myself also likes making scripts too, even though they aren't required. it irks me to shift to a reality without a script and idk why lmao). i go about my life as usual, but if i find that for a week or so, while attempting to shift, a dr is stuck on the forefront of my mind, then i know for sure that i want to shift there, i would then go on to make a script. however, if i find that this thought passes over in a few days and i don't find myself wanting to experience this as much as i initially thought, then i don't bother and focus on other desired realities instead.

just a reminder to take it slow, don't put too much pressure on yourself, and remember that you have all the time in the world! i know reality shifting is so cool and you just have all these ideas of wanting to experience all these different realities (and while you most definitely can do so!!) for the time being, take your time and search within yourself (and be realistic!) of what you actually want to experience and whether or not, the reality you have an idea of wanting to shift to is good to daydream about, or are you actually ready to be able to do so first-hand?

i really hope this made sense and if not and you need further explanation or suggestions, i have made a post about indecisiveness with reality shifting before here -> 🤍! this one is about scripting but you can easily apply this advice for desired realities too (i think at least and i hope it makes sense)

good luck with reality shifting and i hope i was able to help! i hope you have a wonderful day (⌒‿⌒)

- saturn ♡

[yakult-noir]

Long Rant about Baldur's Gate 3

Content warning: intrusive thoughts mention, body image, very mild spoilers of act 3 (does not mention characters or specific events, only implies)

-

Honestly, playing Baldur's Gate 3 has helped me with a lot of issues that therapy failed to do. I'm playing two runs at the same time, one of which is the Dark Urge.

I am having so much fun playing the Dark Urge. Its helped me with my intrusive thoughts without me noticing. Whenever I struggled with intrusive thoughts, I couldn't push them away no matter how hard I tried, and it would always make them worse.

I sometimes felt horrible because of it even though I knew that wasn't my fault and doesn't say anything about what sort of person I am.

The Dark Urge struggles in trying to repress violent thoughts lest they act on them and commit atrocities. Intrusive thoughts aren't as dire in that you won't actually commit the atrocities in real life, but playing the Dark Urge helps cement that fact further.

And I'm not even getting to the companions yet. I struggle with the fear of what other people see me as. I try to appear as someone a bit different (personality wise) but struggle a lot when I make even a singular mistake or do something that makes me feel like an idiot.

The companions are still loved and still retain their image even though they sometimes make dumbass mistakes.

They've also helped me deal with the fear of getting older. I've never played games much where the main character/s are canonically in their late 30s to 50s. And the fact they're still made out as attractive is very reassuring.

I don't see that happen a lot, not without them trying to look as young as they can to be seen as attractive.

Overall, the companions feel so much more real and lifelike than a lot of other video game characters.

I don't exactly know why or even how to explain it, but I've never liked the idea of having a physical body.

I've always had a complicated relationship with how others view me and my own body image. I also struggle with trying to wrap my head around what's considered socially normal and feel completely detached from other people's experiences.

I can't actually 'feel' out my feelings without intellectualising them or comparing them to feelings of other people. I usually use the concept of other people as a rough template of how to do things and how to react. Things always feel complicated and 'too-real'.

If that makes sense. Like a realisation of "holy shit there are consequences? Do I have control? Is there a control? How do I avoid Bad Consequences? How do I react?"

Lowkey kinda feels like a child just testing out just doing things for the first time. Mind you, I do have a mental illness and have been kinda repressed for a bit of my life.

Any experience I have with doing daily life stuff or with relationships has been from reading about other people's experiences and noting down what to do and what not to do to become the Ultimate Perfect human being.

And that means I always feel uncomfortable with my body, talking about private things, even talking about supposedly 'risky' things that aren't even risky or shouldn't be seen as such (like menstruation, lingerie, clothing, weight fluctuation), wondering if I just did something socially taboo even if it's like an unspoken rule I've never heard of, and then wondering if I'm unpleasant company or a little too strange to hang around a lot.

So playing as the Dark Urge and romancing Astarion has actually helped a lot with discomfort in talking about random things in friendships and just feeling more comfortable being in my own body and having human experiences.

Especially since the companions just say whatever, and are even straight up rude and say things that wouldn't be socially acceptable in real life, but they're still liked.

I mentioned mental illness before, but Baldur's Gate 3 has some of the best representation about having ordinary experiences and consequences of being alive. I love how in the game, you have the option to help the companions the best you can, and no matter what, there is no closure. I haven't completed the game yet, so this is stuff I spoiled for myself.

Even if you get out of a difficult situation and learn there's a better way to live and do things, it's still horrible and painful and you're still not sure if you've done the right thing or not. You don't get any awards (that are obvious at least) for dealing with the problem you've faced most of your life.

You've still got to deal with your own emotional issues that are there as a result of the problem and that you will probably spend the rest of your life trying to deal with.

[ryin-silverfish]

I was always a little confused that some students made fun of the rival sect just because they had "monster" students. I never quite understood if it was because these students had committed crimes or bad acts but were still accepted as students, or if it was because they were cultivated Yaoguais? one of the immortals was an immortal crane, so why did they make fun? or were they just making fun of the appearance? or is it like a case of discrimination against yaoguais?

Honestly, I think it is a mix of both. On one hand, the Jie Sect did have some unsavory members like Lv Yue the plague god and Ma Yuan the man-eater, and when Patriach Tongtian and Yuanshi Tianzun were facing off before the Immortal Killing Formation, that was what Yuanshi Tianzun focused on: that his Jie Sect disciples were acting unruly and strong-arming people and holding onto grudges as a result of his indiscriminate admission (Cha. 77).

On the other hand, when their opponents mocked them, the admission of cultivated beasts did seem to be brought up:

First was the shit-talk Guangcheng Zi allegedly made, where he said that "Whether horned or furred, wet-born or egg-born, [they] all mingled as one crowd"(不分披毛带角之人，湿生卵化之辈，皆可同群共处).

Second, during the Ten Thousand Immortals Formation arc, after the three yaoguai disciples of the Jie Sect was subdued and became mounts of Wenshu, Puxian and Cihang(FSYY's Daoist-ized version of Bodhisattva Manjusri, Samantabhadra and Guanyin), Lao Zi ordered Wenshu to take the azure lion right in front of Patriarch Tongtian and was like "With such creatures under your sect, how could you still act so high-and-mighty? What a joke!" (Cha. 83)

So personally, I did think the Chan Sect was at least a little prejudiced against yaoguais.

As for the White Crane Boy: he was never explicitly stated to be a cultivated crane in the novel, unlike members of the Jie Sect who were yaoguais, though he did transform into a white crane to snatch Shen Gongbao's head away(Cha. 37).

Everything else after this is context and theories, so take it with a grain of salt.

If you read Gui Zhizhong's translation of FSYY, the introduction stated that the Chan-Jie conflict was supposed to mirror the historical conflict between Quanzhen and Zhengyi Sects in the Ming dynasty, a theory that some scholars, like Liu Cunren, subscribed to.

However, I do not subscribe to that theory personally. Rather, my take is a blend of Li Yihui's hypothesis about the origin of the names "Chan" and "Jie"(《封神演义》考论), and Meulenbeld's book, "Demonic Warfare: Daoism, Territorial Networks, and the History of a Ming Novel".

Basically, the former said that Chan came from 阐扬正教("Promote the True/Righteous Religion"), and Jie, 海外有截, a line from the Book of Poems(诗经) that was taken literally as "there was a Jie Sect overseas".

The latter pointed out the similarity between FSYY's overall narrative of "deification through death" and the Daoist ritual of sublimation + the integration of local deities into organized Daoism; specifically, "sublimation" is meant to cleanse and transform orphaned and vengeful spirits, and oftentimes, the Thunder Ritualist school would subdue local spirits of folk worship——yaoguais, ghosts, etc. and make them into subordinates.

So what does all this mean? Well, through this lens, the Chan Sect is less a mirror of any particular sects, and more an idea of "orthodox/proper Daoism", while the Jie represents "unorthodox/heretical Daoism": the incredibly diverse Chinese folk religions where the strange, the demonic and the marginal were often venerated alongside popular mainstream gods.

As such, the Chan Sect's distaste for the Jie Sect's indiscriminate admission of disciples might be a reflection of how organized Daoist sects + state religion saw folk beliefs. Yet, at the same time, the solution wasn't to wipe them out(you can't), but to subdue, transform, and integrate local gods into their temple networks and pantheons.

Thus, almost everyone who died in the War of Investiture got deified regardless of sect allegiance or species(at least in the version I'm reading, the list of names in Cha.99 differ depending on editions), and Patriarch Tongtian, despite his multiple defeat, wasn't punished by his and Yuanshi Tianzun's mutual master, Hongjun.