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#i straight up don't think i'd do that again
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First Meetings with.. (One Piece Edition)
A tumblr exclusive collection of little reader insert drabbles - these won't be going on my AO3, these are just for the feral people of this wonderful hellscape
Requests are open for x reader things! I will write basically ANY kind of reader - male, female, non-binary, gender neutral, trans, disabled, black, white, latino, asian, neurodivergent, etc
I'll probably do more over time but here's three to start with - Ace, Law and Sanji. Readers are all gender neutral, but for Sanji reader is fem presenting (so he would be nice)
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Ace
"Well hey there gorgeous." A voice said behind you, startling you to the point of hitting your hand against the counter in front of you. You were just minding your business, attempting to buy some food for the week, when some random guy had appeared behind you. You had half a mind to turn around and give him a piece of your mind, when the shopkeeper's eyes widened, and whispered his name. Fire Fist Ace. The pirate. "Who do you think you are?" You asked, turning to face him with a scowl. You wouldn't attack him outright, but you were not happy with the look on his face (now that you could see it) and wouldn't let it go. "Your future boyfriend, hopefully." Ace replied, and you scoffed. You turned back to the shopkeeper and bought your groceries, before making to leave the store. Ace followed behind you closely, making no secret of the fact that he was there.
"Are you lost?" You snarked, rolling your eyes at Ace. He was persistent, you'd give him that. "Oh no, just hoping you'll look at me like that again. You're perfect." "You're disgusting." You grumbled, although you'd certainly never been called perfect before, and in another circumstance you wouldn't be mad about it. "Hey, now that's harsh." Ace replied, but he was laughing as he said it, clearly unphased by your displeasure being directed at him. You took off walking again, not walking toward your place since you didn't exactly want to lead him straight to it.
Ace, to his credit, continued to follow you and eventually began to just talk. He seemed to be able to talk forever, uncaring whether or not you were listening - though you were. He was a pirate, pretty high bounty, almost a warlord, he had a little brother who he was stupid proud of, and an even bigger family waiting for him back on his main ship. "While this is all very nice, are you going to leave me be any time soon?" You asked eventually, back on the main street of the town once again. "Are you going to tell me your name?" That was all? You told him your name, utterly exasperate it. "Well, gorgeous, you'll be seeing more of me soon." With that, he took off in the opposite direction of your home, with a swagger in his step, happy he'd gotten what he wanted. You kind of hoped that you would be seeing him again soon - you liked him, reluctantly.
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Law
You weren't even hurt that badly. The guys were gone, and you were managing to stumble home just fine. You had a first aid kit in the kitchen that would be able to patch you up, and then you could go to the doctor when you had the time and had gotten some sleep. It was too late to go see her now.
As you stumbled down the dark street, clutching walls for stability, a man began to approach you. "Fuck off! Not in the mood." You snarled, clutching the broken shard of glass you'd gotten in the fight, a strip of your shirt wrapped around it to protect your hand. "You're injured." The guy stated flatly, and then you'd hit a stalemate. "Duh?" You said, still brandishing the shard in your hand. "I can fix it. I'm a doctor. Don't have to drop the glass, but I'd prefer if you didn't stab me." The supposed doctor drawled. He seemed.. familiar. Something about him just sparked recognition in the back of your mind, and that put you a little on edge. "You're familiar - why?" You questioned, shuffling backward to get a little further away from him while you waited on his answer. "I'm Trafalgar Law. My bounty poster is on the wall you're clutching." The pirate doctor pointed out, nodding toward it. Well, that made sense. Surgeon of death you'd heard him called - so at least that meant he was a doctor right? "Alright. But one wrong move and you'll be needing your own medical care." You threatened, and Law just half nodded. He knelt down in front of you to look at your wound, then pulled some bandages from a pocket in his coat. He wrapped your leg, doing so in complete silence and without hesitation. When he was done, he stood again and grunted as he nodded.
"Should be fine now. It'll hurt to walk still, but less risk of infection." He summarised, stepping around you to continue in the direction he'd been going. "Wait! Why did you do that?" You asked, spinning quickly on your good leg. "You're cute." He said simply, a small smirk on his face. He lifted his hand, said a word you didn't hear, and then in a flash of blue light he was gone.
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Sanji (fem presenting reader)
You'd bumped into him entirely by chance, and gotten talking. He was a nice guy, he was sweet if a little much when it came to women he saw. You didn't mind - you could see that his intentions were good, for the most part. He offered to pay for a drink for you, since you'd narrowly avoided colliding with him outside of a bar, and you'd accepted. He let you order what you wanted, and he paid, not even blinking. It was second nature to him. He was kind, and offered endless compliments that you withstood with a smile on your face - you weren't quite used to such a bombardment of affection.
He disappeared after an hour or so, but returned the next day. You'd tried to ask where he went, but he danced around the question and asked you on an official date. You'd had a nice enough time the day before, and so you agreed.
He took you to a restaurant, it was classier than you usually allowed yourself to go to with a modest amount of money, but it didn't seem to be any object for him. He told you that he wouldn't compromise on good food, and allowed you to order anything you'd like, with no concerns about how many beri it would set him back. It felt nice not to worry about it for once. You ordered starters, then mains, with drinks flowing easily between you, and then a dessert to share to end the experience. You'd been there for hours, but with the money that you'd spent, no waiter could argue.
The conversation between you was easy and light, he was enraptured by your every word, he couldn't help it. He looked at you as if you'd hung the very stars in the sky. "All I've done is talk. I know almost nothing about you." You said to him, and Sanji laughed awkwardly. "I suppose so. But I'm afraid there's not much to tell." He said, and just as you'd been about to argue, a woman with orange hair came bursting into the restaurant calling his name. You looked at him with wide eyes and stood quickly. "No! She's not-" Sanji said hurriedly. "How much of my money was spent on this date?" Nami demanded, fire in her eyes. "I'm so sorry! I didn't realise you were-" You attempted to say to the woman, hoping she wouldn't direct her frightening anger at you. "Oh you're gorgeous. Well played cook, didn't think you had it in you." She praised, and then bewildered confusion fell over you. "Oh Nami, your praise is a balm on my heart." You rolled your eyes and folded your arms, raising an expectant eyebrow as you stared at Sanji, waiting for an explanation. "I'm a pirate. She's our navigator, and.. treasurer I suppose." He explained, and you sighed. "So you're not staying." "I can't." Sanji agreed, with a sad smile and nod. "But we're not leaving for another few days. So have fun while you can." Nami said, giving you a wink and Sanji a firm punch before turning to leave the restaurant.
Fun. You could do that.
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theglamorousferal · 2 days
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Persephone's Binding Part 6
AO3 Prompt Part 1 2 3 4 5 6
Jason crouched into a fighting stance, mimicking Danny. They began to circle each other, making a complete circle of the training ring in the process.
"One of us has to move first, and you're the one who wanted to test me." Jason quipped. Danny lunged, intending to hit a spot of fabric visible between Jason's armor.
Jason dodged, then went to hit Danny in the middle of his back, only for him to fall through him. He tucked into a roll and popped up on on knee. "Okay, now that's not fair. Density shifting? Didn't think I'd be fighting someone like the Martian."
Danny paused. "Martian?" He shook his head. "Never mind, I can ask later. I'm already handicapping myself with like half, the shit I can do keeping projectiles outta the fight. At least let me keep my basics."
Jason looked at him suspicious. "What are your basics?"
"Oh just intangibility, invisibility, flight and super-strength." Danny grinned like the little shit he was. Definitely a younger sibling. Jason thought. He rolled his eyes and got to his feet, ending up in a fighting stance again.
"Yeah, but If I can't touch you at all how are you gonna gauge how I fight?"
Danny tilted his head and squinted his eyes at him. "You have a point." He pouted. "Fine, I need dodging practice anyway."
"Good, now come at me." Jason gestured. Danny gave up trying to obey gravity and flew straight at Jason's mid-section, intending to tackle him. He was not expecting Jason to flip out of the way and to the side, before landing facing where Danny now was positioned.
Danny growled and then leapt towards Jason swinging at his face; Jason did not expect the kick to the stomach. With the air punched out of his lungs, Jason swiped at Danny's head, intending to knock him over. He only managed to send him spinning towards the railing before Danny caught and righted himself.
"You good?" He asked as Jason wheezed a breath in.
"Yeah, I'm good, when was the last time you fought a human kid?"
Danny froze for a moment before a dark look passed over his face. "About seven months. And I was aiming to harm." He shook himself after a moment before a guilty expression flashed across his face.
"I'm good, I promise. Just maybe pull it back a little so you don't accidentally break a few ribs." Jason waved him off, jumping a bit and getting himself psyched back up. "Let's go."
They continued to spar for hours. Danny won the first match, then Jason. The third they got each other locked in a grapple that neither could break and called it a draw. They moved onto weapons after that, first with swords, edges dull for training, then staffs. After a bit they broke for some water.
"So, your sister mentioned you were attending IRU? What's that?" Jason asked after chugging half a bottle.
"Oh, Infinite Realms University. There were a bunch of entities, ghost and neverborn alike, whose obsessions are either teaching or have decided that to feed their obsession and therefore existence, that they would teach others about it. It started as a group of ghosts who manifested together and then slowly expanded to cover every conceivable subject or degree. Myself and a couple of friends are trying to put together a way to do online classes so the people in Amity can attend."
"Oh, so they take full humans?" Maybe I can get a degree if I'm stuck here.
"I mean, they take anyone at all if they can handle the ambient ectoplasm."
"Right, you have both mentioned that. What exactly is ectoplasm? I nebulously know it has something to do with ghosts, but nothing further. Ghosts aren't really a thing in my world as far as I'm aware."
"Right, Jazz mentioned you're new to literally all of this stuff. We grew up with it and then I have it as a lived experience. Here's this is a form of ectoplasm." Danny allowed ectoplasm to pool in his cupped hands. It was florescent green and giving off a glow that shone across Danny's armor.
"That looks like Lazarus water but not bubbling. Can I touch it?"
"Probably not until we get your soul looked at. I mean, I can see it if I look, but I won't know what I'm looking at."
Jason paused. "You can see my soul?" He asked, incredulous.
"Yeah, it's something I've been working on with some of my teachers. Kinda tricky to learn, and you need a proto-core at least to do it. It's taken me a few years to get it down right, now I gotta take more lessons on recognizing differences and classifications, I need to learn before I take the big chair." He chugged the rest of his water bottle and wiped his face with his arm.
"You nervous?" Jason asked.
"Wouldn't you? All I did was fight a dude like I always did to save my town and it resulted in being ghost royalty." He grumbled.
"I mean, I tried to steal the tired off a car and it resulted in me being able to summon mystical glowing swords."
"No way."
Jason smirked and stood, holding his hands out and willing the All-Blades to appear. Glowing flame-like blades sprang to life from his closed fists.
"Okay, that's pretty cool. I mean, I can do that with ice too, see?" Danny holds out his own hands and two swords made from ice appeared to grow from them.
They both looked at each other's weapons, then caught each other's eyes and smirked in unison. "Race ya to the ring!" Danny yelled then lumped high into the air above Jason who scrambled towards the ring.
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dianawinchester03 · 2 days
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Season 2, Episode 5 - Simon Said
Series Masterlist
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Third Person POV
A middle aged African American man, Dr. Jennings gets a phone call in the middle of the town square. "Hello? Yeah" He answers happily but his smile drops when a voice compels him to do something terrible. "Alright" he takes the order before hanging up. A Blue Ridge bus passes in-front of him in the crowed street.
He then smiles again and begins walking down the square to the local gun shop. "Afternoon, Dennis" He approaches the man behind the counter reading a magazine about guns. "Hey, doc" Dennis greets Dr. Jennings with a smile. "I'd like to look at a gun" Dr. Jennings says to Dennis, earning a chuckle from him.
"Yeah right, doc" Dennis chuckles but Dr. Jennings wasn't joking. "Seriously?" Dennis asks surprised as the doctor nods. Dr. Jennings then points the shotgun he's like as Dennis goes round the unlock the chain from it. "That one" The doctor says. "Okay" Dennis says unsure, unlocking the gun. "That's a turkey hunter. Twelve-gauge, pump action" Dennis lists off the profile of the gun before cocking it.
He then hands it to Dr. Jennings, "Don't leave enough turkey behind, if you ask me" Dennis's jokes as Dr. Jennings takes the shotgun. "What sort of shells does it use?" The doctor asks, examining the gun. "Dennis the. Takes out a case of bullets for the gun. "I'm taking the boys up to the cabin this week, if you're uh..." He pauses when he sees the doctor examining the bullet.
"I mean, if you think you'd like to take up the sport" Dennis chuckles, Dr. Jennings then smiles, chuckling before he shakes his head, "Thanks but no. You know guns make me nervous, always have" He laughs before loading the gun, "This one goes in here, right?" He asks before coming the gun.
"Hey, whoa! Doc, no no! You can't load a weapon on the premises. It's illegal" Dennis tries to warn doc, panicking when he loaded the gun. "It's okay, Dennis" Dr. Jennings says calmly. "Nono" Dennis tries to stop him but puts his hands up. "It's okay, Dennis. It's all gonna be..." He then turns to Dennis, pointing the gun in his direction.
"Doc!" Dennis pleads, "....okay" Dr. Jennings then shoots Dennis point blank in his chest, sending him straight back into the glass window of the door behind him. Patrons in the gun shop scream in terror, "No, no. It's okay...It's okay. It's all gonna be okay." Dr Jennings assures everyone calmly before putting the gun below his chin.
Blowing his head off himself, his blood splatters on the roof above him.
Y/N gasps awake in the backseat of the Impala, cold sweating furiously. She tries to catch her breath as she frantically searched for a bottle of water in the bag of snacks Sam got in the gas n sip. She uncorked the bottle and gulped it down. The cool water calming her chest heaves as beads of sweat flowed down her neck, drenching her tshirt. The car was empty because Sam went to the bathroom and was taking forever so Dean went to go check on him.
While Sam held his head in pain, soaking his face in the crappy gas stations bathroom. Gasping for air similarly to Y/N, having had the same vision, "Sam, come on, zip it up. Let's hit the....road" Dean paused in concern when he saw his brothers state. "What?" He asks Sam concerned, Sam gripped the sink, his mind flashed to y/n, thinking she's probably having the same vision.
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It was now nightfall and they were all driving down the dark road. "Rock in Nebraska, your source for the classics, all night long" The DJ on the radio deck blared. "I don't know, guys. Why don't we just chill out? Think about this?" Dean suggests to the two clearly shaken younger hunters. Y/N, who was riding shotgun now, turned off the radio. "Whats there to think about?" Sam pipes up from the backseat.
"I just don't know if going to the Roadhouse is the smartest idea" Dean tries to defend. "Dean. It's another premonition, we know it. This is gonna happen and Ash can tell us where. " Y/N says determined. Dean is still unsure, "Yeah, sweetheart but-" Dean sighs but Sam interrupts. "Plus, it could have some connection with the demon. Our visions always do" Sam adds defensively.
"That's my point. There's gonna be hunters there, I don't know if going in and announcing that you're both supernatural freaks with a demonic connection is the best thing, okay?" Dean argues, his words came out harsher than he meant to. This triggers something in Sam and Y/N, "So we're freaks now?" Y/N scoffs offended, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I knew it." She sighs disappointed, shaking her head, turning to face the passenger for. Her gaze was trained outside the window in shame, guilt raising in Dean. "Princess, I didn't mean-" Dean tries to apologize but Sam comes to their defense, "Just shut up, Dean!" Sam barks back. Deans mouth snaps shut, knowing he was in the wrong for his statement.
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CE, Nebraska
The trio finally made it to the roadhouse, the second they entered, a couple of hunters glanced their way in suspicion, having not seen them there before. Rock music was blaring through the bar, "Well look who is is" Jo smiles at the three, "How you doing, Jo?" Dean chuckles. "Where's Ash?" Sam asks urgently. "In his back room" Jo tells him. "Great." Sam says before rushing to the back.
"And I'm fine" Jo shouts sarcastically to Sam. "Sorry, he's- we're kind of a bit on a timetable" Y/N says to Jo apologetically, Dean then turns to Y/N, "Come on princess, let me buy you a beer" He says to her sweetly, linking his arm in hers. She just glares at him, snatching her arm away as she shakes her head, "I'm fine" She grunts before following behind Sam.
Dean sighs in defeat as Jo takes in the interaction. "Trouble in paradise?" Jo asks Dean in a teasing tone. "You have no idea" Dean chuckles awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck before walking around Jo to head to the back with Sam and Y/N.
Meanwhile Sam and Y/N are banging on Ash's door, a sign up on it saying, 'Dr. Badass is in'. Sam knocks again, "Ash?" He calls out to him. Y/N rolls her eyes and bangs harder with her fist, "Yo Billy Ray! You and your mullet need to wake up!" She yells a bit louder. Dean then approaches and knocks, "Hey, Dr. Badass!" He calls out and instantly the door opened. Dean and Y/N rolled their eyes at this.
A shirtless Ash appeared at the crease of the door, "Sam, Dean, Y/N." Ash says before taking an exasperated deep breath, "Sam, Dean and Y/N" He smirks, scanning y/n's frame. "Hey, Ash. Um...we need your help" Sam says calmly. "Oh, hell, then. Guess I need my pants" Ash grins widely as Y/N's eyes glance down to see he was only in his boxers.
Ash then closes the door as the trio groan in annoyance.
Ash, Sam and Y/N were sat at table in the bar while Ash was on his computer, looking for matches on the logo Sam drew from the bus that passed in their shared vision. "So, I got a match. It's the logo for the Blue Ridge Bus Lines. Guthrie, Oklahoma" Ash tells them. "Okay, do me a favor. Check Guthrie for any demonic signs or omens or anything like that" Y/N asks him. "You guys think the demons there?" He asks them.
Sam and Y/N share a look at this, "Yeah...maybe" Sam says. "Why would you think that?" He asks them curiously. "Just check it, alright?" Dean groans from behind him, approaching with two beers in his hands. Dean and Y/N share a look, he gave her a little pout, still guilty from calling her and Sam freaks. He then hands her the beer with an apologetic look.
Y/N sighs, reaching out to take the beer. Dean smiles softly when she takes it but she gives him a small glare, basically saying 'This doesn't mean you're forgiven'. He still smiled, taking a sip of his own beer simultaneously with her. "No, cupcake. Nothing. No demon" Ash tells her. Their heads drop in defeat, "Alright, try something for me." Sam begins while scratching the itchy cast on his wrist.
"Search Guthrie for a house fire. It would be 1983 or 1984. Fires origin would be a baby's nursery, night of the kids 6 month birthday" Sam finishes. Dean and Y/N's gazes snap over to him while Jo, who was behind Dean wiping the bar counter, and Ash looked beyond confused. "Okay, now, that is just weird, man. Why the hell would I be looking for that?" Ash asks bluntly.
Y/N then leans over and snatches Sams unopened beer, "Cuz there's a PBR in it for ya" She smirks, plopping it down infront of Ash. "Give me fifteen minutes" Ash instantaneously responds.
The bar was now empty. Ellen was behind the counter while Jo cleaned the tables. Meanwhile, waiting for Ash to finish doing his digging, Y/N was sat at the bar sipping on her sixth beer and dragging from her cigarette. A light buzz humming through her brain as the alcohol slowly makes its course through her veins. Her mind still stuck on the fact that Dean called her and Sam freaks.
She felt as if though she was overreacting, as if she shouldn't be hurt by it but she still was. I mean, maybe he was right. She excepted it but at the same time, it hurt to hear. Y/N knew she wasn't perfect, she had her moments, her breakdowns and whatnot. Usually whenever someone tells her crap, she pays no mind to it. Yet a simple zinger from Dean had her scruffing down six beers and a half pack smokes.
She was growing too attached to him, too sensitive to anything he says. And boy did she hate it.
Dean was across the bar, losing to pool against Sam. Still filled with guilt. Sam noticed that Dean was barely interested in the game because his sorrow-filled eyes kept flickering over to Y/N. His gaze trapped on the faint glow of her cigarette, tucked between her fingers. Sam sighed and then took up his pool cue and pointed it at his brother.
"Go. Apologize. To. Her. You. Idiot. " Sam nudges his brother with the stick in his ribs with each word. Dean jumped slightly from the pokes, usually he'd argue and defend why he shouldn't but he was wrong once again. "Alright, alright. I'm going." Dean grumbles, slapping away the cue his bratty little brother was poking him with before waking over to her.
Dean pulled out the stool next to y/n who was finishing up her beer, settling in the seat as he rested his beer mug next to her, "Hey, princess" He says softly, breaking her train of thought with his voice, her eyes flickered over to him, "Hey, charming" She responded a bit dull, feigning a tight smile as she crushed her cigarette bud in the ashtray. "Look, I'm really sorry for calling you a freak" He apologizes sincerely, resting his hand on her thigh.
Her body stiffens initially at his touch but almost immediately relaxes, "It's fine, really" She slurred slightly, finally making eye contact with him. "No, it's not. I shouldn't have said it. Not after everything you've went through. I'm not good with this sentimental shit but..." He chuckles awkwardly, moving his hand to scratch the back of his neck.
"Apology accepted." She cuts him off with a small smile, her heart warming at the fact that he apologized for calling her a freak. "If it means anything, we're all freaks in some way" He jokes, his hand resting his hand once again on her thigh. A heartfelt chuckle escapes her throat, making his heart swell that he earned a laugh from her again.
Jo takes in the interaction as a mischievous thought crossed her head. Smirking to herself, she made her way over to the jukebox.
"Amen to that" Y/N laughs, raising her empty beer glass. "Amen" Dean chuckles, toasting with her. "You want another?" He gestures to her empty glass, gently caressing her thigh. "I've had enough" She chuckles, still a bit buzzed, pushing her glass aside. A heat started to rise up y/n's southern region as his calloused hand made a light friction through her jeans, she turnt away and bit her lip to calm down her stupid hormones.
'I knew I should've stopped at three beers' she thought to herself.
"You okay?" Dean asks her concerned, taking his hand off her thigh because he thought she was having another vision from the way her face turnt up before she looked away. Alcohol always seemed to bring out the horny bitch in her and Dean's hand pressing against her thigh did not make it any better. If it was just a couple inches higher up, she would've lost all control right there.
Self respect would've gone straight out the window. Her cheeks was almost beet red, luckily Dean couldn't see much in the dark bar and because she had her head turnt away from him, or else she would've swollen with embarrassment, "Yeah, I'm o-" She goes to say but the sound of REO Speedwagon's song, Can't Fight This Feeling, blurred through the bar. Startling them both with the irony.
Well that sure sobered her up.
Their eyes snapped over to Jo's direction, a smirk plastered across her face. "What? I love this song." She said innocently as she took up a tray of glasses, resting it on the counter.
'I can't fight this feeling any longer'
"REO Speedwagon?" Y/N scoffed a chuckle. "Damn right, REO. Kevin Cronin sings from the heart" She winks smugly at Y/N, walking closer to them. "He sings it from the hair. There's a difference" Dean retorts.
'What started out as friendship had grown stronger'
Their eyes meet each other while the song plays before y/n meekly looks down back at her empty glass. Jo glances back at her mom to make sure she can't hear their conversation before turning back to them. "That profile you've got Ash looking for?" She asks them. "Hmm?" Y/N hummed.
"Your moms died the same way? A fire in Sam and y/n's nursery?" She asks them. Their eyebrows raise at this, "Look, Jo. It's kind of a family thing" Dean tries to dismiss it but Jo nods, "I could help" She offers. "I'm sure you could. But we gotta handle this one ourselves" Y/N lets her down gently, Jo sighs in defeat.
"We have a match. We gotta go." Sam approaches them urgently with a light brown manila folder of papers in his hands from Ash. "Alright. See you later, Jo" Y/N says sweetly to her before they all walked out. "Thanks Ellen" She thanks Ellen before locking the door behind her.
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"And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight" Dean sings as he drives down the road, Y/N infront and Sam lounging in the back. Their heads slowly turn to him in confusion and disbelief, "You're a candle in the window. On a cold, dark winter's night" Sam smirks as his lovesick brother's horrid voice echos through the Impala.
Y/N's heart is pounding through her chest, a smirk rising in her face also. "And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might" Dean still sings. "You're kidding, right?" Y/N chuckles loudly, cocking her eyebrow. "I heard the song somewhere, can't get it out of my head" He winks at her smugly, earning an eyeroll from her to cover up the fact that she's blushing. "Yeah, sure" She nods still laughing.
Her mind then strays to the fact that maybe Dean was thinking about Jo when singing it. I mean, Jo did put the song on. They were real chummy last time they were at the roadhouse. He sure seemed into her. She reminded herself that she's probably just being delusional about any chance between her and Dean and decided to just discard the hopeful thought from her head.
She's not gonna lie to herself though, if Jo seemed to have any kind of interest in her, she'd jump at the chance too. The girl was smoking and clearly intelligent. Plus she nearly took down y/n when they first met, she had to give Jo her brownie points for that. Jo was also eager to hunt, which is something y/n can definitely relate to when she was Jo's age.
"What do you got, Sam?" She changes the subject, looking at Sam through the rearview mirror. Sam shakes his head at the banter between the two, "Andrew Gallagher. Born in '83, like us. Lost his mother in a nursery fire exactly six months later, also like us." Sam reads from the file Ash printed. "You think the demon killed his mom?" Dean asks.
"Sure looks like it" Sam sighs, his eyes trained on the folder. "How did you guys even know to look for this guy?" Dean asks them. "Every premonition we've had, if they're not about the demon, they're about the other kids the demon visited." Y/N tells him. "Like Max Miller, remember him?" Sam adds. "But Max Miller was a pasty little psycho" Dean says chuckling.
"Point is, he was killing people. And we were having the same type of visions like him" Y/N cuts in. "And now it could be happening again all over again with this Gallagher guy" Sam adds. "How do we find him?" Dean asks. "Don't know. No current address, no current employment." Sam reads from the file as they listen. "Still owes money on all his bills. Phone, credit, utilities" Sam continues to list off.
"Collection agency flags?" Y/N asks. "None in the system" Sam responds. This surprises them, "They just let him take a walk?" Dean asks confused. "Seems like it" Sam shrugs. "There's a work address from his last W2, about a year ago. We'll start there" Sam tells them, they both nod in agreement.
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The next morning they were at the old diner Andrew used to work at, the trio are dressed in suit and ties while y/n had on a white blouse and dress pants. Currently his former coworker. "You won't get anything out of Andy, guys. I'm sorry, but they never do" The girl says to them as she pours Dean some coffee. "They?" Y/N asks curiously. "You're debt collectors, right? Once in a while, they come by. I don't know what Andy says to them, but they never come back" The girl tells them, slightly impressed by Andrews skills of persuasion.
This sends up red flags in their heads. "Actually, we're lawyers, representing his Great-aunt Lita. She passed, God rest her soul, but left Andy a sizable estate" Dean lies smoothly. "Yeah. So are you a friend of his?" Sam goes along with the lie. "I used to be, yeah. I don't see much of Andy anymore" Yhe girl says a bit sadly. "Andy?" Another male coworker asks, taking a seat at their table.
"Andy kicks ass, man" The man brags. "Is that right?" Y/N cocks her eyebrow. "Yeah. Andy can get you into anything. Man, he even got me backstage at Aerosmith once. It was beautiful, bro" The man rambles on while the girl looks annoyed. "Uh-huh. How bout bussing a table or two, Webber?" The girl sasses him.
Webber looks between them nervously, "Yeah. You bet, boss" He chuckles before getting up to do just that. The trio share an amused look at this, "Look, if you wanna find him, try Orchard Street. Just look for a van with a barbarian queen painted on the side" She tells them amused. "Barbarian queen" Deans eyebrow cocks at this. "She's riding a polar bears. It's kinda hard to miss" The girl says ironically.
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They were now all sat in the Impala on Orchard Street, parked across from Andrews van with the barbarian queen riding a polar bear painted on, staking it out. Stonehenge by Spinal Tap blasting through the radio on Baby's deck.
'Stonehenge. Where the demons dwell'
"I'm sorry. Im starting to like this dude. That van is sweet" Dean blurts out, gawking at the van. He turns to see Y/N giving him an unimpressed look along with Sam. "It's a douchewagon" Y/N huffs. "What's wrong?" He asks them, noticing their grim expressions. "Nothing" Sam says plainly as y/n shakes her head. Dean is unconvinced and judging by the looks on their faces, they were stuck on something.
"Guys, you look like you're sucking on lemons. What's going on?" Dean pressed. Sam sighs, "This Andrew Gallagher guy. He's the second guy like this we've found, Dean" Sam says blankly. "Demon came to them when they were kids, now they're killing people" Sam continues. "We don't know what Andrew Gallagher is. Okay? He could be innocent" Dean tries to assure them.
"Our visions haven't been wrong yet" Y/N argues. "What's your point?" Dean asks. "Our point is, we're like them" Sam huffs. "No, neither of you are" Dean rolls his eyes. "Dean, the demon said he had plans for me and Sam, and children like us" Y/N points out. "Yeah?" Dean sighs. "Yeah, maybe this is his plan. Maybe we're all a bunch of psychic freaks. Maybe we're all supposed to be- " She exclaims  in frustration but Dean cuts her off.
"What? Killers?" He huffs. "Yeah!" Sam and Y/N shout in unison. "Okay. So the demon wants you two out there killing with your minds, is that is?" Dean asks sarcastically. Their faces drop at his tone, "Oh give me a break. Your not murderers guys! Neither of you have it in your bones" Dean grunts agitated. "No?" Sam cocks his eyebrow at the irony.
Dean shakes his head in frustration, "Last I checked, we killed all kinds of things" Y/N counters. "But those things were asking for it. There's a difference" Dean retorts. Sam and Y/N sigh, still stumped on the fact that they're connected to possible murderers in ways they can't explain. She spots a man with scruffy hair and a light stubble, wearing a robe exiting the apartment building the van was parked next to. He was around her and Sam's age,
"Got him" She leans forwards and nudges the boys from the backseat. Their heads turn to his direction, their eyes widen when they see a gorgeous blonde girl in the window above, wearing a similar robe. Waving at Andrew flirtatiously. Andrew waved back, meekly smiling before walking over to a man on the street carrying a cup of coffee. With just a simple exchange of words, Andrew points to the coffee and the man hands it to him without hesitation.
Andrew then greets Dr. Jennings, the man from Sam and Y/N's vision. Their jaws drop, "That's him. That's the older guy. That's him" Sam nudges his brother. "What?" Dean asks confused. "He's the shooter" Y/N tells him a bit panicked. "Alright. You two keep on him. I'll stick with Andy" Dean instructs the younger hunters.
Y/N's POV
Sam and I followed Deans order and jumped out of the Impala to follow the man from our vision. When we made it to the sidewalk, I heard the Impala ignition start, we peered our heads to see Dean following behind Andrews van that pulled out of Orchard Street. We continued to follow the man.
After a couple minutes of walking, the man's phone rang and he took the call. Sam and I shared a panicked look when we saw the same bus from our vision. "We gotta get to that gun shop before him" Sam says urgently. I nod and we bolt into action, running towards the gun shop. We paced our stepped when we reached the door to the shop.
"I'll go in. Stay here" I say calmly to him. Sam nods as I push the door open. I greeted one of the patrons with a smile, looking around for a fire alarm. My eyes landed on Dennis, the man that the 'doc' shot in my vision who was behind the counter reading a magazine, just like my vision. I turnt to see right above the door had a security alarm. I thought quick and triggered it, pulling it down to activate it.
Everyone's eyes landed on me so I exited the shop normally as if I didn't do anything. "I hope this works" Sam says a bit on edge to me as I walk out. "Yeah, me too" I sigh. The shooters face drops when he hears the alarm, me and Sam breath out relieved when he was walks away. "Thank god" Sam breathes out.
"For r-" My mouth falls agape before I could finish my sentence because I saw Andrew in the Impala driving down the road past us. Sam's eyes widen in absolute shock at the sight. "No fucking way" I gasp, still shocked. "What the fuck?" Sam is agape like me. I quickly fish my phone out of my pocket, dialing in Dean number.
I pressed the phone to my ear and Sam pressed his ear against the back of my phone to hear. In two two's, Dean answers the phone. "Hello?" Dean answers. "Dean! Andy's got the Impala!" I tell him urgently. "I know! He just sort of asked me for it and I let him take it" Dean tells us. Our eyes practically popped out of our heads. "You what?!" Sam exclaims in disbeliefs. "He full-on Obi-Wan'd me. It's mind control, guys!" Dean tells us.
The bus horn honks loudly, then when we looked across the road. We saw the shooter stuff his phone into his pocket before step in-front of the moving bus, our eyes widen in terror at this. Before we could stop anything, the bus came barreling straight into him, killing him on spot. People around the area gasp and scream in terror, my phone slips out of my hand and onto the ground. A sick churning in my stomach.
-
Sometime later, paramedics showed up and pronounced the 'doc' dead on the scene. Dean showed up before the paramedics came after walking back from where he lost the car. Sam and I haven't uttered a word, still traumatized from what we just witnessed. We were sat next to each other on the edge of the sidewalk, watching as the paramedics covered up the dead shooter, his blood soaking the sidewalk.
Dean rubbed our backs comfortingly as we watched on. "We kept him out of the gun store. Thought he was okay" Sam says sorrowfully, taking a deep breath. "I thought he was past it, at least- we should've stayed with him" I shake my head, burying my face in my hands, my elbows propped on my knees.
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Since Dean didn't have his car, we all had to walk back. We decided to head back over to the diner Andrew used to work at, Dean cheered in excitement when he saw Baby parked out infront of the diner. "Thank God" He exclaims, hurrying over to her. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll never leave you again" He coos, leaning down to press a kiss to her hood.
Lucky her. What? Who said that?
"At least he left the keys in it" Dean sighs, "Yeah. Real Samaritan, this guy" Sam scoffs ironically. "Well, it looks like he can't work his mojo just by twitching his nose. He's gotta use verbal commands" Dean says to us. Something clicks in my brain, "Doctor had just gotten off his cellphone when he stepped in-front of that bus" I tell Dean before taking a shakily deep breath.
The image of that poor man dead on the ground like a dog still in my head. "Andy must have called or something" Sam says. "I don't know, maybe" Dean mutters. "Beg your pardon?" I cock my eyebrow at him. "I just don't know if he's our guy" Dean responds honestly, shrugging. Me and Sam scoff, "Dean, you had O.J. convicted before he hit out of his white Bronco and you have doubts about this?" Sam remarks sassily.
"He doesn't seem like the stone cold killer type, that's all. You know? And O.J. was guilty!" Dean retorts defensively. I rolled my eyes at him, "Either way, how are we gonna track this guy down?" I ask. Dean thinks for a second before saying, "Not a problem." With a smug smile.
-
He then took us to where Andrew mind-control-carjacked him, his weird ass van was still there. "Not exactly an inconspicuous ride. Let's have a look" Dean pumps his eyebrows at me before reaching into his jacket to take out his knife. Me and Sam keep out out as he picks the lock to the back of Andrews van, Dean chuckles impressed when he opens it up.
The inside of his van was coated with what looks like fur, a painting of a tiger on one wall and a big shiny disco ball in the middle. I grimaced at the interior designing as Sam cringed. "Oh, come on. This is magnificent, that's what this is" Dean mutters dazzled. "This is a douchewagon. That's what this is" I quip back. Earning a chuckle from Sam.
"Not exactly a serial killers lair, though. There's no clown paintings on the wall or scissors stuck in victims photos. Like the tiger" Dean retorts smugly as Sam and I examine some of the books he had in the back. "Hegel, Kant, Wittgenstein?" I mutter to myself a bit impressed by the choice range.
"That's some pretty heavy reading, guys" Sam comments. "Yeah, and, uh, ahem, Moby Dicks bong" Dean clears his throat, pulling out a two foot long bong from below a blanket. A smirk on his face, he wiggles his eyebrows at me. "Don't give me any ideas, hotshot" I retort with a snort which causes his to chuckle.
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We were all now back in the Impala, Sam was reading through the files Ash gave him as Dean was chowing down on a burger. I sat to the back, smoking a cigarette, my elbow propped on the window as Dean groaned in disgust, "Blech. You know, one day, I'd love to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to microwave at a minimart" Dean crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the back by me.
"You're preaching to the choir man" I agree, blowing out the smoke from the corner of my mouth. "What I don't get is the motive. I mean, the doctor was squeaky-clean. Why would Andy waste him?" Sam thinks out loud. "If it is Andy" Dean comments. "Dude, enough" I huff, earning a questioning look from Dean. "What?" He turns to me, chewing on his food.
"The doctor was mind-controlled in front of a bus. Andy just happens to have the power of mind control. You do the math!" I point out the obvious a bit agitated as Sam nods in agreement. "I just don't think the guys got it in him, that's all" Dean says. I roll my eyes mid-drag, "Well how the hell would you know? I mean, why are you bending over backwards defending him!" Sam exclaims in frustration.
"Because you guys are not right about this" Dean quips back. "About Andy?" I huff, flicking my cigarette out the window. "Hey! You think I haven't seen you three!?" A males voice from Sam's side of the door startles us. We turn to see it's Andy, our eyes widen like deers in headlights. "Why are you following me?" He asks us. "Well, we're lawyers. See, a relative of yours has passed-" I go to cover for us but he says,
"Tell me the truth" He orders us, I cock my eyebrow at his tone. "That's what she's telling y-" Sam goes to feed into my lie but Dean blurts out with a straight face, "We hunt demons" Me and Sam's heads snap over to him in shock, "What?" Andy gasps. "Dean!" Sam and I mutter to him with gritted teeth. "Demons, spirits. Things your worst nightmares wouldn't even touch. Sam here, he's my brother. And this is our friend, Y/N" Dean continues to ramble on.
"Dean, shut up!" I growl at him, "I'm trying" Dean almost strains, "They're psychic, like you. Well, not really like you. Y/N is more the psychic of the group. See, they think you're a murderer. And they're afraid they'll become one themselves because you're all apart of something that's terrible. And I hope to hell that they're wrong, but I'm starting to get scared they might be right" Dean admits fully with a tight smile.
Panic takes over Andy's face as we glare at Dean, "Okay, you know what. Just leave me alone" He orders us again. "Okay" Dean grunts painfully, pressing his palm to his forehead. Me and Sam jump out of the Impala, following behind Andy. "What are you guys doing?" Andy asks fearfully as we continue to walk towards him. "Look. I said leave me alone" He orders again, putting his hands out to stop us as he backs away but we don't let up.
Still walking towards him. "Get out of here. Just start driving and never stop" His tone faltering in fear, I open my hands out with a shrug, "Doesn't seem to work on us, Andy" I shrug, still walking towards him along with Sam. "What?" Andy says confused as Dean jumps out of Baby. "You can make people do things. You can tell them what to think" Sam points out the obvious.
"Look, that's crazy" Andy tries to laugh it off as it's madness. "It all started about a year ago, didn't it? After you turned 22. Little stuff at first, then you got better at control" I call him out on everything me and Sam had been experiencing, Andy's face drops, putting his hands up in surrender. "How do you know all this?" His voice lowers, dropping his hands.
"Because the same thing happened to us, Andy. Our moms died in a fire too, we have abilities too." Sam tells him. "You see, we're connected. All of us." Andy looks like he's gonna have a full on panic attack at this point, his hands buried in his hair. "You know what. J-j-just get out of here! Alright?!" Andy yells at us but it doesn't work, once again.
We continue to press, "Why'd you tell the doctor to walk infront of a bus?" I growl at him. His face drops again and that's when my head starts to pound again. A familiar white flash appears infront of my eyes before an image does.
A woman, fire, a car.
My eyes flutter open again, I held my head because the pain still throbbed. Sam was in pain just like me, grimacing, struggling to keep his eyes open, "Why did you kill him?" Sam growls at Andy. "I didn't!" Andy pleads, I go to press on it again but the vision fully takes over.
A blonde woman inserts the gas pump into her tank.
Her phone rings so she fishes it out of her pocket and presses it to her ear.
"Hello?" She answers cheerfully, her face then goes stoic.
"Sure....I can do that" She responds obediently before placing the phone back into her pocket.
She walks back over to the gas pump, pulling it out of the tank.
She then begins to douse herself from head to toe with the gas from the pump before tossing it aside.
An onlooker gas station attendant sees what she's doing and panics, "Hey! Lady what are you doing?!" He shouts.
She then reaches into her car and pulls out the auxiliary power outlet.
"It's gonna be okay" She assures him calmly, mimicking the doctors words.
The man's eyes widen when he realizes what she's about to do, "Lady, no. No!" He screams fearfully, shielding himself as she presses it to her gas soaked clothes.
She bursts into flames as the man watches in terror, the blonde woman the falls to the ground, dead.
-
Sam and I held onto each other when the vision was over, Dean came rushing to our sides when he realized we were having a vision. "Sam?? Y/N?? What is it??" He helps us hold ourselves up but we fell to our knees, groaning from the pressure in our heads. "Look, I didn't do anything to them" Andy defends. Dean crouches in-front of us.
The heat from the concrete ground seeped through my jeans as I tried to recollect myself. "A woman...a woman burning alive" Sam breathes out. "What else did you guys get?" Dean asks urgently. "A gas station. A woman is gonna kill herself" I tell him, gripping my head. "What does she mean 'going to'? What's is- what are they talking ab-" Andy stutters
"Shut up!" Dean cuts him off harshly. "She gets triggered by a call on her cell" Sam gasps as we both look over at Andy with glares. "When?" Dean asks. "I don't know" I say, putting my hand out along with Sam for Dean to help us up. "As long as we keep our eyes on this son of a bitch, he can't hurt her" I growl at Andy, my gaze deadly.
"I didn't hurt anybody" Andy tries to defend himself. "Yeah, not yet" Sam snaps back. That's when the sounds of sirens and a fire truck honking filled our ears. The truck drove right past us. "Go" I instruct Dean. He nods before obliging, going over to the car. Andy goes to follow behind him but me and Sam stop him. "No, not you. You're staying here with us" Sam growls at him.
-
Not long after, my phone rang. I fished it out of my pocket to see it was Dean. I answer it, putting it on speaker. "Hey, it's me. She's dead. Burned up, just like you guys said" Dean tells us quickly. We share a sorrowful look as my heart drops, "When?" Sam asks. "Like minutes before I got here. I mean, the smell hasn't even cleared" Dean informs us, my gaze drops to the ground.
"What's up with your visions, guys? This wasn't even a head start" Dean asks us confused. "I don't know, okay. We can't control them. I don't know what the hell going on" I tell him stumped. "Listen, you two were with Andy when this whole thing went down. So it can't be him. It's gotta be somebody else doing this" Dean points out the obvious.
My eyes flicker over to Andy, "But that doesn't make any sense" Sam mutters. "What else is knew?" Dean quips back. "I'll dig around here, see what else I can find" He tells us before hanging up. Me and Sam share a look before turning back to Andy, "We gotta tell him" Sam says. "Yeah, we do" I sigh as we both step towards Andy to give him 'the talk'.
"So, you guys get premonitions of people about to die?" Andy asks us, then turning to me. "And you could move things with your mind?" He asks me. I nod along with Sam, "Somewhat, it's a work in progress" I shrug. "That's impossible"'Andy scoffs a chuckles, not convinced by what we're telling him. Sam and I cock our eyebrows at the irony of his. "A lot of people would say the same thing about what you do" Sam scoffs.
Andy shrugs, "Death visions and telekinesis?" He asks. "Yeah" Me and Sam respond in unison. "Dudes, that sucks. The telekinesis rocks but death visions sound like hell" Andy's says a bit sympathetically. Sam and I sigh because he wasnt lying. These visions are a curse. "I mean, like when I got my mind thing? It was like a gift, you know? It was like I won the lotto" Andy chuckles.
"But you still live in a van" I scoff, his face drops at this. "I don't get it, I mean, you could have anything you ever wanted." I add. Andy smiles a bit, "I got everything I need." He says cheerfully. This guy really doesn't have a killing bone in his body, Sam and I share a look. "So you're really not a killer, huh?" Sam asks making Andy chuckle. "That's what I've been trying to tell you guys" He laughs.
His laughter was contagious, earning chuckles from me and Sam. "That's good. That means there's hope you all of us" I say softly. The Impala pulls up next to us right after. We all get up and walk towards it as Dean jumps out, shutting the door behind him. "Victims name was Holly Beckett, 41, single." Dean tells us all the information he got on the woman from our vision. "Who is she?" Sam turns to Andy.
"Never heard of her" Andy shrugs. "Called Ash on the way over here. He came up with a little something." Dean begins. "Apparently Holly Beckett gave birth when she was 18 years old back in 1983. Same day you were born, Andy" He then turns to Andy as he gulps. "Andy, were you adopted?" I ask him. "Well, yeah." Andy answers as if it were obvious.
"You were? And you neglected to mention that?" Dean scoffs sarcastically. "Never really came up" Andy says defensively. "I mean, I never really knew my birth parents. And like you said, my adopted mom died when I was a baby" He says and then thinks for a second, "Wait, do you think this Holly woman could actually be my- ?" Andy stutters.
"I don't know. I tried to get a copy of the birth records. But they're hard copy only, sealed in the county office" Dean tells him. "Well, screw that" Andy sighs. An idea pops in my head and a smirk rises to my face, "Maybe we've got something that can help" I cross my arms over my chest, all the boys give me questioning looks as my smirk widens.
________________________________
"I probably shouldn't have let you kids in here" The security guard says to Andy who has his hand on his back, guiding him out of the room. We're now in the county office and thanks to my brilliant plan of using Andy's mind controlling power thingy, we got into the office undetected. "No, it'll all be fine. Alright, just go get a cup of coffee. Alright?" Andy tells the guard as he exits the room.
"And these aren't the droids you're looking for" He adds earning a chuckle from Dean. "Awesome!" Dean exclaims, bringing a box over to us while me and Sam are sat at a table in the office, sifting through files. "Got it" Sam says. "Yeah?" Me and Dean ask. "Yeah." Sam responds, handing me the paper. I sigh as I read over the file, "Andy, it's true. Holly Beckett was your birth mother" I tell him apologetically.
Andy scoffs in disbelief, "Does anyone have a Vicodin?" He asks ironically. "Dr. Jennings was her doctor too. I mean, he oversaw the adoption" Sam adds, shaking his head. "You have a solid connection to both of them" I say, looking over at Andy. "But I didn't kill them" Andy tries to explain.
"We believe you" Dean assures him. Me and Sam look over at him before nodding, "Yeah" Sam says. "But uh, who did?" Dean asks the pending question. My eyebrows raised as I read the file further, "Here's an idea" I said out loud, handing Sam back the file. His expression mimicked mine, "Holly Beckett gave birth to twins" Sam mutters, Deans face drops as Andy jaw practically touches the ground.
We decided to go through the record of the adoption, Andy leaned back into his chair still stunned from the discovery. His hands rested above his head as his internal panic session progressed. "I have an evil twin" Andy mutters fearfully. Me and Dean were leant against the printer, waiting for a picture of Andy's evil twin to be printed but it was jammed. My arms were crossed over my chest, Dean next to me, his arm resting behind me, propped on the printer.
Sam came over with a file of the adoption in his hands. "Holly put you and your brother up for adoption. And you went to the Gallagher family, obviously. And your brother went to the Weems family from upstate" Sam explained. Resting the file onto of the box infront of Andy, leaning against it. Andy closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Hey, Andy. How you doing?" Dean asked him when he noticed his clear discomfort.
"You still with us?" I ask him calmly. Andy snapped out of whatever trance he was in, taking his hands off his head as he leaned forward on the table. "Uh...what was my brothers name?" Andy asks Sam. "Here. Um...Anson Weems" Sam reads off of the file but Andy doesn't seem to recognize the name. "He's got a local address" Sam says. "He-he lives here?" Andy stutters panicked.
The printer behind us beeps, indicting it's ready. "About to get a look at him" Dean tells him turning around to face the printer, "There's a picture coming over from the DMV right now" Dean adds, pulling the paper out of the printer. His face drops when he takes a look at the picture, he then hands the paper to me and my stomach sinks from the familiar face.
"Hate you kick you while you're freaked, hun" I say sympathetically to Andy. He scoffs shaking his head as I hand him the paper. "Take a look at that" I tell him, Andy's eyebrows shoot up in surprise and disbelief when he saw who Anson was. His jaw was practically on the ground. Anson was Webber from the diner, who was bragging about Andy and kept trying to make conversation with us.
________________________________
We were all now headed to the diner in a rush to stop Webber from hurting anyone else. Sam was riding shotgun while I was in the back with Andy, behind Sam. "Alright, Andy. Tell us everything you know about this guy" Sam says. Andy had his hand and chin propped on the front seat backrest, leaning forward. I was leaned back because my head would not stop killing me, it felt as though another vision was coming on and I could see Sam grab his head too, cringing in pain.
"I mean, not much. Webber shows up one day, like, eight months ago. Acting like he's my best friend in the world. Kind of weird, like trying too hard. You know?" Andy explains. "He must've known you guys were twins. But why did he change his name? Why not just tell the truth?" Dean queries. "No idea" Andy mutters.
I gasp loudly when the sharp pain in my head expanded, Sam did the same groaning. Sucking in breath between our teeth from the agony. "Sam? Y/N?" Dean calls out for us concerned. I winced in pain, pressing my palm to my forehead as the familiar white light flashed over my eyes.
Tracy, the girl we questioned in the diner, was walking barefoot on a dam, tears streaming down her face.
She went to the ledge of it before taking a look down at the empty trench below, only concrete down the dark steep.
She begins to sob again before looking behind her. She then shakily climbs up onto the ledge, as if she's being mind-controlled.
Extending her arms out, taking a deep rugged breath before jumping off the ledge of the dam.
The pain worsens when the vision was over, tears formed at my eyes as me and Sam screamed and grunted from the agony. "Sam?! Y/N?!" Dean yells concerned before pulling over the Impala, getting out and rushing over to our sides, Sam opened the door as I pressed my throbbing forehead to the front seat backrest to support my weight while Dean held Sam by his shoulder to keep him from falling out of the car.
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After we told Dean about our vision, we made him turn back and head to the dam we saw, using Sam's map to find the only one around the area. We finally made it, hopefully in time. Dean put the Impala in park, both him and Sam got out and I did after, shutting the door behind me. Our eyes were trained on Webber/Anson's car. Dean got his keys out to open the trunk, leaning down to unlock it.
"Dean, you should stay back" I suggest as me and Sam walked over to the trunk. "No argument here. I've had my head screwed with enough for one day" Dean mutters back in response, lifting the trunk up. Sam leaned down and got out two guns, handing me one. "I'm coming with you guys" Andy says determined after getting out of the car.
Sam and I share a look at this before shaking our heads. "Andy, no" Sam denies but Andy presses. "If it's Tracy out there....then I'm coming" He said shakily, taking a deep breath. He seemed pretty broken up about the whole thing. I sighed before nodding, "He could help, Sam" I say to him. Sam turns to me, "We could break the car window, hold Webber at gunpoint and Andy could grab Tracy" I suggest.
"Yeah, that could work" Sam nods in agreement. "Dean, you got duct tape?" I turn to Dean. "Yeah, one sec" Dean replied, digging through the trunk before tossing me the tape from his duffle. I hand it to Andy, "Gag the sucker" I tell him firmly. He gives me an obedient nod before we cocked our guns, slowly approaching Webbers car, we give each other a look before nodding firmly.
Andy walked slowly around to the passenger's side before Sam shattered the drivers side window with his gun, startling both Webber and Tracy. The glass coated Webbers jacket. "Get out the car! Now!" I shout loudly at them, our guns cocked at Webber. "You really don't wanna do this" Webber tries to mind control us. I scoff, rolling my eyes before right hooking him in his nose, through the broken window.
Andy then opened the passenger side door, "Tracy. Come here, come here"'Andy helps her out of the car. "Andy! I can't- I couldn't control myself" She squeals fearfully, sobbing uncontrollably. Sam roughly pulled Webber out of the car, tossing him to the ground. Webber tried to break out of Sam's headlock but I gun butted him to the eye. "Don't move! Don't move!" I order him, pressing the barrel of my gun to his temple.
Andy ran over and duct taped Webbers mouth, he then started to kick him in his stomach and face."No! No!" I yell as I try to hold Andy back to stop him from damaging Webber further. "I will kill you!" Andy screams at Webber vengefully. Andy was stronger than me so Sam stepped in to help. "Hey, let us handle this, alright?!" Sam tries to calm him down but Andy screams, "No!".
"We'll handle this! We'll handle this!" I assure him loudly. "I will kill you!!!" Andy screams at Webber with pure rage and hatred. "Andy, listen to me. Listen to m-" Sam suddenly stops with a grunt, due to being knocked with a log from Tracy. My eyes widened and my heart stopped. Sam's limp body hit to the ground with a thud and I turned swiftly to Tracy with wide eyes, my instincts told me to shoot Webber, but when I went to do exactly that, I was welcomed to darkness by a sharp pain in my own head.
Third Person POV
After Webber used his mind control to compel Tracy to knock Sam and Y/N unconscious, Andy's eyes widen with fear when he saw Tracy wielding the log in her hands sobbing uncontrollably. "Tracy stop!" Andy exclaims before using his verbal commands. "I said, stop it" He ordered, compelling her.
Tracy's posture changed, dropping the log. Andy then turned to his illegitimate twin brother. Webber grunts, peeling the tape from his mouth, blood dripping from the side of his eyes from when y/n gun butted him and Andy kicked his face in. He spits blood from his mouth, grunting painfully.
"How did you do that?" Andy gulps fearfully, realizing Webber compelled her without using words, even with the tape on his mouth, he still mind controlled her. "Practice, bro" Webber shrugs smugly, "If you'd just practice, you would know" He adds, opening his arms wide. He tosses the tape on the ground, sniffling blood, "Sometimes, you don't need to use your words. If you have to.." He walks closer to Andy.
Pointing to his temple, "...all you need this this. Sometimes the headaches worth it" Webber says as if it's normal. Andys hateful gaze narrows at Webber, "You son of a bitch" He growls, going to attack him. He snatched him by his collar but Webber pushes him back. "Back off, Andy, or Tracy's gonna do a little flying" Webber warned him menacingly.
Andy turns back in fear to see Tracy standing on the ledge, just like Sam and Y/N's vision. Tracy shakes in visual fear from being on the ledge, inches away from sudden death. "Aren't you, Trace?" Webber mocks. Andy turns back to Webber with pleading eyes, "I'm stronger than you, I can do it" Webber warns him, gritting his teeth.
Andy lets go of him and puts his hands up in surrender, backing away, "Okay, okay. Okay" He agrees hesitantly, turning back to Tracy and then to Webber. "Alright, just please don't hurt her" Andy please to his brother. "Don't be mad at me, okay? I know, it's all wrong. I didn't mean for this to happen. It's just..." Webber tries to explain, taking a deep breath.
"Tracy, she's trying to come between us." Webber says. Andy looks at him in disbelief, "You're insane" Andy mutters, shaking his head. "She's garbage. Man, they all are. We can push them. We can make them do whatever we want!" Webber defends. Andy is so taken back by this, he chuckled at his brother's idiocy, "Are you- are you really this stupid? Is it-?" Andy chuckles unamused, his hands still up in surrender.
"Yo-you learn you got a twin, you call him up. Y-you, you go out for a drink. You don't start killing people!" Andy exclaims at the irony. "I wanted to tell you for so long, bro. But....he didn't let me. He said I had to wait until the time-" Webber tries to explain but Andy is confused. Sam and Y/N begin to come to, their heads pounding from the log lash.
"Who?!" Andy exclaims again as Y/N holds her head. "The man with the yellow eyes" Webber tells him. Sam and Y/N share a terrified look on the ground. Their hearts dropped, "He came to me, in my dream. He said I was special" Webber explains to Andy, stepping closer to his brother. Andy was even more confused and terrified, horror etched on his face.
"He told me he's got big plans for me." Webber smiles excitedly, grabbing his brother by his shirt. "Wait till you see what's in store for us, Andy, for both of us" Webber informs him, Andy backs away in fear, putting his hands back up as he glares at Webbers hands on his shirt. "See, he's the one who told me that I had a brother. A twin" Webber says lovingly, now grabbing Andy's face between his palms, but his face was blank.
Unbeknownst to them, Dean was on the other side of the dam with his sniper, he crouched down to camouflage himself in some bushes to get a clear shot at Webber.
"Why did you kill our mother?" Andy asks, Webber scoffs, pulling away from his brother. "Andy why Dr. Jennings?" Andy presses. "Because they spilt us up!" Webber bellows, causing Andy to flinch. "They ruined our lives, Andy! We could've been together this whole time." He adds angrily, his tone pained. "Instead of alone. I couldn't let them do that, I couldn't let the get away with that!" Webber defends.
Andy's face was still blank, yet fearful. Not knowing how to feel in this entire situation. "No" Webber sniffles, shaking his head.
Meanwhile, Dean had set up his sniper, a clear shot at Webber. His eye peeking into the scope. But somehow, Webber knew. He felt eyes on him, similar to how y/n feels. He turnt around and narrowed his eyes in Deans direction, though Dean was camouflaged, Webber still saw him. "I see you" Webber whispers, his control traveling the distance.
"Bye-bye" Webber smirks, compelling Dean to kill himself. Dean then turns to sniper to himself, pressing the barrel of the gun below his chin. A loud gunshot rings out but it wasn't Deans. Andy stood behind his brother who fell to the ground with a thud, dead. A smoking gun in between his hands. When Webber wasn't looking, Andy took Y/N's gun from the ground.
Killing his own brother, his own flesh and blood. Who had become a monster, killing and terrorizing innocent people. Tracy, who was still on the ledge, sobbed as Andy shook with fear and distaste at the fact he just killed someone.
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The next morning, police and ambulance was crowding the dam. The coroners were wheeling Webbers dead body out as Andy 'talked' to the investigating officers. "He shot himself. And you all saw it happen" Andy compelled the three deputies. "Yeah, we did" One of the officers nodded as Sam, Dean and Y/N sat not too far from the scene, leaned against the ledge, amazed.
"Look at him. He's getting better at it" Sam says a bit proud, shaking his head as Andy smirks to himself. He then began to walk over to them, he spotted Tracy who was by an ambulance, she didn't dare look at him and it broke his heart but he couldn't blame her. He gave her a small sad smile before approaching the trio.
"Won't even look at me" Andy sighs, speaking about Tracy. "Yeah, she's pretty shaken up" Y/N says sympathetically. "No, it's- This is different. This is, uh..." Andy stutters. "I never used my mind thing on her before last night." Andy admits, earning sympathetic gazes from the three hunters. "She's scared of me now." Andy sighs pained. The three share a look before Sam decides to break the silence.
"Andy, I hate to do this, but, um...We have to get out of here." Sam says honestly. Andy scoffs a chuckle though understands, y/n then digs into her pocket and pulls out a piece of paper, handing it to Andy who accepts, "Here hun, I wrote down my cell and Sam's. You don't have to be alone in this, alright? If anything comes up, you call either of us up" She instructs him gently.
Andy nods, as they walk away, but he's stumped. "Wha..what- what am I supposed to do now?" He scoffs chuckling, at a complete lost. The three turn to him. "You be good, Andy. Or we'll be back" Dean lightly warns him. They begin to walk back to the Impala as Sams one's swirls, "Looks like we were right" Sam says. "About what?" Y/N asks. "Andy" Sam responds as if it's obvious.
"He's a killer after all" He adds, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets. Y/N looked down, hating the fact that she felt the same way. Dean cocked his eyebrow at this, "No, he's a hero. He saved his girlfriend's life, he saved my life" Dean defends. Sam and Y/N scoff, "Bottom line, last night, he wasted somebody"Sam retorts. Dean rolls his eyes. "Yeah, but he's not a foaming-at-the-mouth psycho. He was just- he was pushed into that" Dean adds.
They look at him in disbelief. "Webber was pushed too, in his own way. Max Miller was pushed. Hell, I was pushed by dad's death and Sam was pushed by Jessica's death" Y/N lists off in a counter attack. "What's your point, guys?" Dean scoffs, turning to them, stopping from their stroll to the Impala. "Right circumstances, everyone's capable of murder. Everyone" Y/N points out as Dean listens.
"Maybe that's what the demons doing, pushing us, finding ways to break use" Sam rambles on. "Guys, we don't know what the demon wants, okay? Quit worrying about it" Dean says calmly, patting them both on their shoulders. They still can't believe how nonchalant he's acting but they know deep down he's scared. "You know, we heard you before, Dean. When Andy made you tell the truth. You're just ask scared of this as we are" Sam calls him out of his bullshit as they approach the Impala.
"That was mind control" Dean exclaims defensively. "It's-its like being roofied, man. It doesn't count" He further defends pointing at them, y/n cocks her eyebrow, shaking her head, "What?" She scoffed. "No- no. I'm calling do-over" Dean lamely shuts it down. Y/N rolls her eyes, "What are you? Seven?" Sam scoffs in disbelief at Deans childishness.
"Alright, look. We just gotta keep doing what we're doing, find that evil son of a bitch and kill it" Dean says causally, the ringing of his phone cuts their conversation. "Yeah, I guess" Y/N mutters, sharing a look with Sam. She jumps in the back as Sam rides shotgun while Dean answers his phone. "Hello?" He answers, pressing the phone to his ear.
"Ellen, what's going on" He responds to Ellen on the other line. He listens for a bit , his face dropping. "Yeah, we'll be right there" He clears his throat, jumping into the Impala.
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The trio ended up back up at Harvelle's Roadhouse, the Impala parked outside, infront. "Jo" Ellen calls out to her daughter who's carrying a tray of plates. "Go pull up another case of beers" She orders her, "Mom-" Jo groans but Ellen cuts her off. "Now, please" She says firmly, wiping her hands with a bar cloth. Jo sighs, doing as told while Ellen walks up to the trio, sat at the bar.
"So you, uh, wanna tell me about this last hunt of yours?" She leans against the counter, her tone suspicious. They all share a look before Dean shakes his head. "Nope, not really" Dean says honestly, sipping his beer. Ellen glares at him, causing him to gulp a bit in fear. While Sam and y/n glare at him because of his rude tone. "No offense. It's just kind of a family thing" He reassures her kinder.
"Not anymore" Ellen says, tossing a folder of papers infront of Sam and y/n. "I got this stuff from Ash." She says suspiciously, turning to Dean. "Andrew Gallaghers house burned down on his 6-month birthday. Just like your houses." Ellen points out what's in the files as the look down guiltily. "You think it was the demon all times, don't you? It went after Gallaghers family?" She questions. Dean smirks, not wanting to answer.
"Yeah, we think so" Sam admits. "Sam" Dean warns him. "Why?" Ellen asks Sam. "None of your business" Dean retorts to Ellen bluntly. "Dean" Y/N warns him, her eyes widen from his defensive and brutal tone. Ellen's eyes flicker over to Dean, "You mind your tongue with me, boy." Ellen warns him firmly, his eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
"Now, this isn't just your war, this is war. Something big and bad is coming and it's coming fast. And their side holds all the cards. Now, at best, all we got is us. Together. No secrets or half truths here" Ellen lays all the cards on the table out for them. They all share a look before Sam begins. "There are people out there. Like Andy Gallagher..." He says lowly. "Like us" Y/N adds, noticing Sams somber look.
"And um...we all have some kind of ability" Sam says. "Ability?" Ellen questions. They nod, "Yeah. Psychic ability" Y/N gulps, earning a displeased sigh Dean. "Me and y/n/n, we have, um, visions. Premonition. And y/n/n could move things with her mind. Telekinesis. She can also sense spirits and demons. But we think those came from her mom. I don't know, it's-it's different for everybody" Sam explains sighing as Ellen listens.
"The demon said he had plans for people like us" Y/N tells Ellen, this catches her attention. "What kind of plans?" Ellen asks. "We don't really know for sure" Y/N shrugs. "These people out there, these psychics. They dangerous?" Ellen questions. "No. Not all of them" Dean chimes in. "But some are. Some are very dangerous" Y/N adds. "Okay, how many of them we looking at?" Ellen asks.
"We've been able to track a clear pattern so far" Dean answers, leaning against the bar counter. "They've all had house fires, the night of the kid's 6-month birthday." Dean continues. "That's not true" Sam cuts in. "What?" Dean asks confused. "Webber, or Andron Weems, or whatever his name is. Me and Sam looked at his files and there was no house fire" Y/N tells him.
"There's nothing out of the ordinary" Sam adds. Dean is taken back by the breakage of pattern, "Which breaks pattern. So if there's any others like him, there'd nothing in the system. No way to track them all down" Ellen voices his thoughts as her daughter comes besides her. All their heads were bowed in defeat, "And so who knows how many of them are really out there" Dean mutters.
"Jo, honey" Ellen says to her daughter. "Yeah?" Jo responds. "You better break out the whiskey instead" She tells her. Jo does so as they all say there, stumped. A sense of defeat at the fact that they don't know how many freaks are out there. Unsure what to do or how to proceed in finding the yellow eyed demon.
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Authors Note: I know, I suck!😭 I've just been swamped with so much crap, it's a shit storm over here lol. But I made sure to finish up so I hope you guys enjoyed!
Thank you for your patience and thank you for reading, have an amazing week❤️❤️❤️
Taglist: @hjgdhghoe @rach5ive @tiggytaylor @star-yawnznn @quarterhorse19 @deangirl96 @bitchykittenconnoisseur @globetrotter28
Xoxo
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vickyvicarious · 2 days
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With joy I hurried to the window, and saw drive into the yard two great leiter-wagons, each drawn by eight sturdy horses, and at the head of each pair a Slovak, with his wide hat, great nail-studded belt, dirty sheepskin, and high boots. They had also their long staves in hand. I ran to the door, intending to descend and try and join them through the main hall, as I thought that way might be opened for them. Again a shock: my door was fastened on the outside.
Dracula's taking no chances. If anyone comes inside the castle, then Jonathan's locked in his room. This suggests a couple things: he doesn't have the time to personally watch over Jonathan because he is too busy managing whatever they're doing himself; he knows Jonathan has not lost hope and will try to leave or get a message out; he doesn't trust the people working for him not to assist if they get close enough to his captive; he knows being locked up in his room where he can see the way he's being ignored but is unable to do anything about it will be more agonizing for Jonathan. I'll take all of the above.
Another thing thought that's kind of interesting, is the descriptors of this group of people are all pretty neutral at first. It's stuff they have/are wearing, nothing that could be called negative except maybe "dirty sheepskin" at most. This is when Jonathan is rushing to the window "with joy" at the sight of them. But after he finds he is trapped in his room, and once his interactions with them go sour, he gets harsher: he describes them looking "stupidly" as they point at him, and "lazily" going to their horses as they leave. (Of course this is all written after the fact but I think in a way that is generally reflective of his opinions during the events.)
Jonathan's initial reaction to new people is still hope, but it seems as though Dracula's reinforcement of prejudices is working once they don't respond well. Of course, the narrative itself is telling both him and us that he's wrong to look to them for help in the first place, but I like to put that down to authorial racism. In my headcanon, the hetman makes a kind of bitter joke ("the Count has another guest") that they laugh at not out of genuine amusement or malice but out a kind of black humor which comes from knowing they don't have any power to save him. The fact that they "resolutely turned away" is because it's hard enough for them to ignore his pleas for help, and looking at him would make it even more emotionally wrenching or even tempt them to do something stupid to try and help him. And they know they can't, not if they want to make it out of here alive. Jonathan is too far away to see them wincing and gritting their teeth, to see the effort it takes not to look back, doesn't know the weight on their consciences and the 'it's you or both of us' choice they're making. His hopes are being disappointed again and it's feeding into stereotypes he's heard relayed as fact, so he loses trust in them and sees stupidity and malice where there isn't any.
Of course, this is all me working overtime to try and correct for the racism that Stoker was very much playing straight. But as I've said before, it works so much better with the themes of the book anyway. In any fanwork that doesn't want to be reinforcing the same awful stereotypes, but still staying in line with canon, I'd suggest taking this sort of tack. Give them a POV or even bring back a character who was here to see what they say about it when they can act more freely, that sort of thing.
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billpottsismygf · 3 days
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I just watched The Five Doctors to brush up on my Susan returning knowledge, just in case all the build up comes to anything, and it's quite goofy but extremely charming. I was aware ahead of time of Tom Baker's parts being taken from Shada, but it's still executed in quite a funny way. "Oh no, I'm being stolen by a triangle! This was definitely what was originally happening in this shot! And now I'm mysteriously trapped in the vortex all episode, don't worry about it!" The guy in a silver morph suit who is supposedly the deadliest killing machine ever was also a wonderfully silly highlight. It's the first time I've seen this version of the Master as well and he's good fun! He's no Roger Delgado, but Anthony Ainley has such an over the top camp energy to him with his flowing cape etc. that worked really nicely with the tone of the story.
Richard Hurndall makes a valiant effort as the First Doctor. He's not William Hartnell, obviously, and he's still a little brusque but I think he gets One's mannerisms and sense of humour better than David Bradley. Interestingly, this story also has him being misogynistic in a way that then gets reacted to/commented on (eg. telling Tegan to get them some refreshments/to stay in the TARDIS rather than going into the action), which is again not fully in character for One. However, it's nowhere near the level of character assassination in Twice Upon a Time.
One of the reasons I wanted to watch this now was because I'd seen people saying that the Doctor worked out the abandonment stuff with Susan here, but he absolutely doesn't. We don't even see her be collected by the floating triangle to get an idea of her life. She just appears and finds herself with her Grandfather, then we don't get to see their parting. Although there's no apparent animosity between them, and they fall straight back into their old dynamic, there's also nothing in the way of hashing out the whole "I shall come back" thing. If RTD is planning to make good on his many Susan hints, there's definitely still fertile ground there. You could even throw in a line acknowledging that "I saw you in the Death Zone on Gallifrey, but we didn't get to talk" or something similar.
Sidenote, I got extremely excited at Jamie's appearance. I was happy that Two got to hang out with the Brigadier, but I was a little sad it wasn't with Jamie because I thought I recalled Fraser Hines not being able to do this one. I may have been thinking of The Three Doctors, though, so it was such a joyous surprise when he appeared, even though I knew immediately that he and Zoe were illusions. If we do get Susan back properly (and I hope we do, with Carole Ann Ford specifically), can Jamie be next on the list for a main series return? I adored his appearance in Tales of the TARDIS, but I yearn for more!
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gayofthefae · 6 months
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Throwback to(last week) when I tried to decipher Mike's inner monologue from his playlist but just ended up feeling really depressed and kinda nauseous when I got to the season 4 songs.
Say what you will, but they captured his pov in that playlist 😭
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mewkwota · 11 months
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Out of Proportion
Ok fine here you go, a comic relating to the show which I do not acknowledge as being real in any way. I made this for other reasons too, the one of which is that I really wanted to draw that motion Richter did on the first page. The other, I think you can figure it out.
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dykeinthedark · 2 months
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venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)
#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me#like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes#and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style#like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting#like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to#which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own#it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch#but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way#what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian#like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me#i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively#people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation#but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc#(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either#bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme#idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance#even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do#that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes#like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16#because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem
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dreamlogic · 1 month
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musing in the tags about the view two years out from my hysterectomy and the shifting nature of neuropathy. i asked my PT for recommendations/resources pertaining to pain science and that's been a very helpful lenses to have. i'm still not back to normal, will never be unmarked by this experience or return to my pre-op self, but my baseline has been gradually increasing over the last few months, and it feels good to look back on the last two years and say "i have no idea how i managed to function while living with that, but i did!"
#meatsuit renno#chronic blogging#ctxt#at first post-hysto pain was a deep burning ache#and eventually that lessened on my left side and settled in for the long haul on the right#after a couple weeks it had started to feel like a small carnivorous creature scrabbling and gnawing at the inside of my abdomen#nestled into the hollow of my pelvis and reaching up with its raking claws#about 6 months in and the creature still chewed occasionally but had shrunk to the size of a tennis ball under my right incision site#it clamped its jaws down and went to sleep and i perpetually felt like someone had pinched a fold of my insides with a large binder clip#this constant awful twisting tug every time i moved that kept me from straightening up or breathing fully#this is about a year into recovery and my original surgeon has blown off my requests for follow-up treatment three times now#i carried on as best i could. fatigue and brainfog getting worse & worse as the pain wore on unrelentingly#about a year and a half into recovery it worsened again. searing lancing pain like i'd been impaled on a piece of white hot rebar#couldn't hardly move. couldn't think straight. couldn't sleep#finally checked myself into urgent care & then the ER just to try to get someone anyone to take me seriously and help me#finally got a referral to a new surgeon who immediately pinned it as extreme neuropathy#started gabapentin end of december last year and the relief was immediately#i never thought i would welcome the gritted teeth vice grip of my little feral pain creature#but when i felt the molten spike slide out to be replaced once more by its worrying jaws#the intermittent spark and fizzle of that pinching squirming pain was a dramatic improvement#then i started PT in march and slowly so slowly the creature's hungry grip is loosening#it still clamps down occasionally. maybe once every week or two i'll have a day when i just accept#that there will be a horrible little creature chewing on my right side from the inside#but nowadays with the gabapentin doing as much as it can and an exercise routine i must stick to religiously to supplement PT#the pain is more of a little pearl of dark matter shifting around under my skin#it's incredibly dense. the heart of a black hole of disabling agony. all that white hot fury condensed into a slick heavy marble#as i recover some of my strength and energy i can feel my body coating it in nacreous layers to minimize its influence#my hysterectomy was 2 years and 4 days ago today and i feel like i can finally finally say i'm beginning to truly heal#i suspect i'll always carry this pearl in my side like shrapnel. product of damaged nerve tissue that went untreated for far too long#i wish my original surgeon had been more competent more attentive less lazy & indifferent to my pain. but i still don't have any regrets.
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icantalk710 · 28 days
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🚆
#maybe it's the slight sleep deprivation talking#but i do keep wondering how approachable i come across on the subway to be talked to by a cute guy first#i hate having to be the one to do it first and if i'm looking up and [i think] smiling as i glance at the route list#[as an excuse to brush my eyes along your bulge inches from my face...]#then playing ygo duel links some more#wouldn't that be an invitation to spark a chat?#especially if it felt like we were sorta making decent eye contact there... lol#ofc this guy could've also been straight so i'm overthinking this but#😩 it looked like a nice bulge 😩#ugh he was hot#[also coming off some work stress and sleepiness i wanted this local train to hurry but also wouldnt have minded if he asked about my game]#[kind of a shame the last time a cute guy struck up a convo with me it was Taylor last *June* and that didnt go past our one nice date#and it was cute since it was about me playing a SoulSilver hack on my phone and us both being into ygo and anime#...still don't get why that petered out but he never replied when i said i thought i saw him walking around recently so w/e#anyway all this to sleepily say that despite how some selfies come off or take off i very much have my shy/overthinking moments lol#and also i saw this cute couple by herald square holding hands and ugh i'd like that again#[though also i really want to play with a cute guy's nice cock again... the duality lol]#anywho i should work on sleeping soon 🥱#/thought dump#ore no inochi#*makes you visualize a smiling corgi as thanks for reading all this*
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youremyonlyhope · 2 months
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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pinolitas · 2 months
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do people really sit through the process of experiencing new prescriptions and it's side effects several times until they find one that works? cus I give up so fast if the first one doesn't work I'm done
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just-slightly-chayotic · 10 months
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help i keep planning my move trip to thailand. like a delusional person
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slightlytoastedbagel · 3 months
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Yuka Shiraishi. btw.
#she has 20 lines at most but i love her#i'd really like for an 5 to have more yuka content... especially since ken is training vbs#ken is working them rough which for people surrounding vivid street (or at least vbs) would seem tough but understandable#but yuka is an outsider. yuka is a caring mother who still supports her daughter and her friends despite not growing up in vivid street#yuka would possibly consider this too much for the moment and try to get them to relax#and. i really want the current vbs arc to end with them relaxing a little#i don't think they'll go straight from “we're surpassing rad weekend and carrying nagi's wish”#to “we're tying ourselves down to this one event when we could go even further”#but they could definitely recognise “we're still kids we have time”#and yuka could be the one to bring that up. radder were all adults when rad weekend happened. vbs are in their second year of high school#and they're talented. so incredibly talented. kohane showed that at crawl green. akito finally realises his growth in his 4th event#toya has just came to terms with his classical music background and draws from it to write songs for the group#and an has had years of experience singing. except she also holds herself back in her want to be line nagi#which i'm almost certain will be addressed in her 5th event. and with yuka being the one who comforted an during lutf (in her card)#well. i think it would be nice for her to come back#especially as she is - again - an outsider to vivid street. she could represent how vbs can go beyond vivid street#another possibility is kohane's father. he sort of just disappeared after sdsc (at least i recall akito and an mentioning meeting him?)#and considering the impact he has on kohane (photography and his doubts regarding her sudden change in early game)#it could be nice seeing him again since with kohane/akito/toya seemingly reaching the end of a current arc in the last year#(ie the kohane and taiga plot/akito no longer feeling like he's behind the others/toya and classical music)#the next step in the group's story could be happening#half of this has nothing to do with yuka fjrjdiejd. i just like the concept of her being the group's link to going outside of vivid street#or going beyond is suppose. beyond the way...#bagel's rambles#i'm on break. watch me draw yuka design
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elvesofnoldor · 7 months
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the vampire lestat in audiobook format is 24 hours long and i finished listening to it in a week, meanwhile merrick is only 8 hours long and it took me three weeks to chew through the whole fucking thing. it's not even very badly written, i just really hate it when anne rice turned the dial up to 11 on her Sympathy with the P*dophile bullshit
#idk how i kept misspelling merrick but anyways i finished it. i hate it. i have gotten it over with#p*dophile(s). there's two of them and i'd say they kept jerking each other off but really it's just david having a crush on louis#sometimes i think louis is just straight :\ and for lestat's sake i hope he isn't but :|#merrick forced louis to fall in love with her and he had zero problem with it#meanwhile lestat turned him a vampire when he briefly changed his mind and boom! 60 years of abuse from monsieur pointe du luc#the numbers just don't add up#mae overshares#the book is just so unsatisfying. i know this is the book where louis' superiority complex comes to die. except that...did it?#this dude would insist on looking weak and pathetic just to prove to whoever the fuck that he's superior than other vampires#he thinks he's exampt from the cycle of violation and death these motherfuckers are all trapped in but he isn't!#and when claudia's ghost showed up (plus her diary entry) reminded him of it. merrick just turned around and told him that the ghost lied#???? ik this woman has her own issues having a crush on her surrogate father 50 years senior than her but ????#and then louis tried to use suicide bait to get lestat to get back together with him or whatever#and then it didn't work he got mad and wrote 'tell lestat i can't wait to leave him' in his pathetic little suicide note#this bitch made sure he wasn't gonna actually die. he acted shady and abusive yet again. and got. well. rewarded for it!#cause lestat showed up at last ANYWAYS and reluctantly gave 99% of his blood to this fucking guy#louis' so-called love for lestat is the most hurtful passive agressive fucked-up 'love' i've seen in fiction#do not enjoy that shit at all! maybe im just too vanilla but their relationship is literally torture#good to know they got married in the prince lestat trilogy. yeah that meant nothing. lestat would have been alone. as always#im done talking shit abt louis but god. need to blow off steam
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ashtcnirwin · 11 months
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🌻
#sometimes you gotta use your tumblr blog to monologue🧡 or often if you're me#one of the interesting things about going from being a young adult to just a straight up adult is how in a matter of 3-4-5 years---#---the foundation of your daily life can and usually will change so drastically#i think back five years and except for my boyfriend. none of the cornerstones of my day-to-day existence back then exist anymore#the friends i saw on a regular basis no longer live here. they've all moved to other parts of the country#work friends aside i now have...four friends left here. as opposed to the 10-12 i had back then#they're scattered all over the country and i'm lucky if i get to see most of them once a year#the job i loved and adored is no longer one i'm working#it actually doesn't exist at all anymore. the building was torn down and the patients scattered all over town#the path i'd gotten started on in life in terms of education and work is no longer one i'm pursuing#the lifestyle i led is a far cry from the one i'm currently leading#and it's funny is all cos you don't realise that all of these changes are happening in the moment#you just look up one day and realise that a whole part of your life is over#this is starting to sound very sad but that's not it at all#cos truth be told youth is no guarantee for happiness. not in my experience anyway#is there a part of me that looks back and feels a little wistful about the carefree existence i had back then? absolutely#but do i wish to be in my early 20s again? no i do not cos at the time i was fighting battles that i've now overcome#and i have far healthier and more fulfilling sources of joy and happiness in my life now than i did back then#i do think 2018 me would have been lowkey horrified to hear that 2020 me got back into the fangirl lifestyle and that 2023 me is still there#cos i'm fairly certain 2018 me thought that was a past chapter#and that i should've long since grown out of it#but i'd never wanna be without all the good things that faceplanting into the 5sos fandom has brought me#like...even not counting 5sos themselves and everything they are and everything they do---#---i'd NEVER wanna be without all the amazing experiences and encounters that being a fan of theirs have brought me#now i'm just sidetracking cos i'm getting a lil emo#point is that the passage of time is very welcome but also very odd when you take a step back and look at the bigger picture of things
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