#i swear its hot girl shit with context

[imnotafoximarabbit]

10 year old me was on some shit 

[imaslutforcuddles]

ESCAPISM

Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

summary | after being broken up with, you plan on being sad and lonely but others convince you sex just sounds too good not to drown in. You end up meeting someone at a bar, who you might just love forever.

words | 2k

warnings | smut (18+) oral (f receiving) fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), pinv, DRUGS (don’t mix drugs and alcohol), substances, high sex, subby reader, drunk sex, multiple orgasms, aftercare, little angst, self pity, breakup bullshit, swearing, sex jokes, bitches, arguments, mention of cheating, idiots in love, a little bit of a sad ending.

A/N | i have been living off of escapism and i couldn’t not write a fic about it, imagine meeting eddie in a hot and sweaty club... Reader is called bean as a nickname in this because it’s cute, don’t judge. Also, this has a platonic love circle with y/n, robin, and steve (although he’s not really brought up in this). Their like a lil family. I might do a part two if yall want. DON’T DO DRUGS KIDS. 18+ MINORS STAY BACK.

a little context if you care to listen                                                                          find myself in a shit position                                                                                the man that i love sat me down last night and he told me that it’s over

You shoved a box in his hands with tears streaming down your cheeks, “There. it’s all your shit, now fucking go.” 

He grunts a little but stays put, “You know i still care about you right.” 

Sighing you start to push him out the doorway and onto the cold, “Have a good life Jason.” 

You aggressively moved your hand toward the door signaling that he needed to leave, when his heavy body wouldn’t move.

Huffing as your eyes start to burn, 

“Just leave, never ever talk to me again.”

He stares at you longingly as if he hadn’t ended just fucked another girl.

“I’m sorry.”

You slam the door and smack your face in disgust, 

how could he have done this to you?

- Three weeks of sulking later -

Robin groaned, “Oh come on y/n! We have to go out and get some, or at least you. God knows how long its been since you’ve been eaten out!” 

Your eyes widened and you huffed, “Jesus Fucking Christ Robin! I’m fine!” 

She stares into your soul arms crossed and eyes squinting. 

Raising your hands in defeat you exhale the air you had held while having a staring contest with robin, “Fine, but i don’t need some random dude to make me feel better.”

Robin shrugged, “Ehhhh not sure about that, but you at least need some weed or something.”

You smile and snuggled deeper into your bestie, “Love you robin.”

She grins and looks over at you, rubbing your shoulders with her soft palms.

“Love you too bean.”

Nights with Robin had been frequent since the breakup. It would start the same very time too, you’d call sobbing about him or about your depression and she’d show up at your doorstep with open arms. 

Things would be so different without Robin, you can’t believe you have a friend as amazing as her. 

-

dumb decision

The next day you saw her, she came in with a wide mischievous smile and two occupied hands, holding with clothes fit for a prostitute. 

“Robin what the fuck is that?”

She shrugged, looking from the outfits to you. 

You grasp the thin fabric if your hands, it did feel really nice..

“A little something to cheer you up? We can look like hot chicks, maybe fuck, maybe get some free drinks.”

You hesitated, free drinks.. 

“Alright fine.”

-

and i’m out on the town with a simple mission,                                                        in my little black dress,                                                                                            and this shit is sittin

So here you are, sitting in the back of the club holding a glass of champagne waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet and fuck you into oblivion.

As much as you didn’t believe in fairytales, this might as well be one. 

You scoff as a girl in your ‘friend group’ makes some lame joke about being horny and ready to party, and Robin hands you a joint and leans down to the shared table you were sitting at to snort another line. 

You take a long hit from the shared joint, “This is so fucking depressing.” 

“Maybe it wouldn’t be if you weren’t such a slut.” 

Some other girl across from you shouts over the music blasting around you, 

“What the fuck did you just call me?” 

Your face starts getting hot, you did not leave the comfort of your house just to get hated on by some random friends that Robin met up with at a shitty club. 

“I called you a slut. I mean come on, you got cheated on. It seems like you were too slutty for poor Jason.”

She grinned and you took another long hit. 

Damn can this shit start working?

“Do you even hear yourself? Your a fucking dumbass. So stop running my energy your not even worth it.”

Her smirk disappeared as your face stayed unfazed and stoic Your getting fed up with these girls around you. 

How did she even know his name? Bitch probably fucked him too.

Grabbing your glass, you got up and headed to the bar for some more liquid courage.

“If the drugs won’t fucking cooperate maybe the alcohol will.” You groan.

Walking up to the bar you had almost wished you stumbled a little. To at least show your a little high, but no.

“What do you want?” A bartender grunted to you, if you weren’t so done with people’s attitude you might have actually cared that he was grumpy. 

“The strongest shit you have.”

He took a deep sigh and smiled, “I’m sorry i was a bit rude there,”

You shook your head, “It’s all good buddy.” 

He grabbed a glass and a bottle of what looked like a mix of Spirytus and tonic, you tut and grin. “What makes you so sure i wouldn’t like something sweeter instead of tonic?”

Looking up at you he chuckled, “You don’t look like a sweet type.”

Putting a hand to your chest you fake a sniffle, “I’m offended. I’m totally the sweetest person you’ve ever met,” you pause waiting for a name. He smiles realizing why you’re not continuing, “Eddie, my name is eddie. What about you sweet stuff?” 

“Aha funny, i see what you did there.”

When you finally tell him your name his face softens, “That’s a beautiful name, it suits you.”

Eddie reaches for your hand, “Would you like to hang out with me after my shift?” 

You squint your eyes, “That depends.” 

His face contorts, he’s confused. 

“On what sweetheart?” 

Smiling you put your other hand on top of his, moving in closer to him. “On how quickly you can finish serving everyone else and start serving me.”

You grin while he just stands there awkwardly, “You don’t understand what i’m saying do you?”

Eddie awkwardly chuckles and shakes his head.

“Not in the slightest.”

Smiling, you reach for his collar to pull him onto your lips. You feel him tense up but soon relax and kiss back, “You don’t have to kiss me just because I kissed you.”

He smiles at your concern, “Don’t worry,”

Leaning in as close as he can from across the bar counter, he pecks your lips again. 

“I wanted to.”

Watching him grin as he writes his number down on a nearby napkin and slides it over to you just makes you even more horny. 

“Text me, I get off at one.”

You tuck it in your bra and smile, “Oh, I definitely will.”

He nods and walks off to serve more people, “Can’t wait sweetheart.” and you watch him the whole time. You watch as his arms flex while tossing around drinks, you bite your lip as he smiles at other customers. 

You would have watched him the whole night but robin eventually found you staring, all alone and took pity on you.

“You look fucking depressing,”

Scoffing you get ripped from your spot on the stool, “I’m good right where i am robin.” 

You wish that you would start to slur your words a little. I mean, it would make sense after all the glasses of alcohol you’ve been inhaling.

“Alright, let’s get you home.” 

Robin may have come to get wasted, but she doesn’t want you to regret your decisions more than you already do now.

She slid her hands under your slick armpits and held you up by your waist, thinking that without her you probably would have fallen straight on your face.

 And yet, you were fine without her. 

Scoffing to yourself and shaking your head, you push her away. “Just because i’m not with him anymore doesn’t mean i need you to take care of me!” 

You could tell Robin didn’t expect you were somewhat sober, she thought you were just wasted like all her other friends. But she shakes off the hurt and surprise in an instant, she knows what you’re doing. 

“I don’t think that you should be yelling at the only person who’s here for you.”

She walks away with a huff and leaves you alone. While, you frown and turn away to look at eddie. Who is still serving anyone with the flick of a wrist. 

“Hey! Eddie.” 

He turns to you and smiles mouthing a hello back. 

When you wave at him to come over, he can’t help but feel a growing buz at the bottom of his stomach. 

“What can I help you with sweetheart?”

“Your shift is over.”

You watch the confusion fall over his features, “I thought it ends in thirty-” Smiling, you grab him by the collar and pull your lips to his ear. “Your shift is over Eddie.”

He almost purrs at the way your voice whispers his name.

~

You push him against his bedroom door and moan into his mouth, “Mfmh Eddie.”

Eddie smiles at your whining and flips the two of you around, pushing his groin to yours. The making out only stops for a second as eddie pulls at your shirt, you grin and help him take it off.

Harsh puffs are pulled out of your mouth when Eddie latches his lips to your throat, sucking red spots all over it. 

“Agh,” You pant and pull him closer to your neck, and push your center towards his own.

“I need you Eds.” 

He grunts and pushes you onto his bed, grabbing his belt and ripping it off his pants.

You start to drool watching him undress, his body was lightly toned but oh so beautiful. 

As you start to reach for his dick he stops you and sighs, “As much as i’d love for you to touch me, I need to be inside you.” 

He grips your dress and pulls it off you in an instant groaning at the way your panties were drenched in your juices. 

“Is that for me?” 

You whine and shake your head. “It’s all f’ you Eds.” Pushing your head back you moan as he puts his fingers on your clothed core. 

He chuckles and rips your panties off, pushing a finger in between your folds and huffing at how warm you were. 

“A-ah Eddie!” Your body shakes at the sudden contact, and he pushes the finger inside you making your eyes widen and back arch. 

“Mmh is my sweetheart sensitive?”

You whine as he sticks another finger inside, pumping in and out slowly. 

“Eddie more please!” You beg and plead as he just stares down at you with a smile. 

He nods and smirks, “Whatever you say sweetheart.”

Eddie moves closer to you and starts to lick your clit. You just about cum then, but continue pleading for more. 

“Please, please, please!”

Soon enough the licks turn into sucking and slurping. As if he was a man starved, Eddie eats you out like a meal. Your back arches even more when you start to feel a coil in your stomach building up. As if he heard you, Eddie sucks on your clit harder and it snaps.

Your body shakes and your thighs close around Eddies head as he continues licking you through your orgasm. 

Eddie then comes up for air, as he smiles and huffs. “Your pussy tastes fucking amazing.”

With a whimper you pull his body closer to yours and reach down to grasp his cock, “Need you.”

He almost growls as you pull out what you wanted most and stroke it, “Damn sweetheart, your hands are soft.” 

You chuckle and help position him so he can push in comfortably. 

When he does finally fuck you it’s slow and soft. At first, you thought it was just going to be sweet until he started speeding up and pushing in harder.

As you moan he just pistons faster and rougher.

“You like that sweetheart?” He grins when you moan loudly in response, not being about to give a worded answer. 

You can feel his shaft getting harder as he gets close to release. 

Eddie grunts and huffs, pushing as fast as he can into you. 

“Ugh sweetheart i’m gonna cum!”

He reaches down to your clit and rubs, as you writhe and squeal gripping his shoulders. “Oh, Eddie!”

The both of you reach your peak together, hands pushing against each others bodies. 

When Eddie comes down from his high, he gets up and grabs you a towel wiping his cum off you. 

“Here you are sweetheart.”

He smiles and gets in bed next to you trying to hold you close, but when you feel something other than lust for him you push away. 

“This was just a hookup, an escape. Okay? Nothing more.”

Eddie frowns, but nods moving away from you. After a couple minutes of silence, you decide it’s too hurtful to just stay when you’re trying to convince yourself you aren’t good enough for him.

“I think I should just go.”

[sungbeam]

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

nonidol!ji changmin x fem!reader

1.1k words, suggestive/innuendos, swearing, bullet wound + descriptions of blood and stitching, it somehow goes from banter to smth low-key soft ?? i have no idea but changmin got shot 🤣 mutual attraction??, (1) cheek kiss 💀, barely proofread i wrote this on a plane—

a/n: im sorry jacob im sorry jacob im sorry jacob im sor— i hate him get hiM OUT (´Д⊂ヽ

"This is not how I thought this would go the first time," Ji Changmin groaned as his bare back hit the cold floor of your living room. He grimaced, hissing loudly as his hand flew to the aching chunk of skin at his abdomen, lovingly punctured open by a bullet. "Fuck, fuck, fuck—"

"Funny," you huffed as you stepped over him with a first aid kit in your hands. You lowered yourself to straddle his waist and began digging through the white box for proper supplies. "Me too."

A smirk curled onto his lips as he peered up at you. "Oh yeah?"

"Mhm. But my vision had my hands around your throat. What about you?"

His smile widened. "Funny, my hand was around your neck." He gazed up at you through labored breaths, barely registering the sweat and blood pooling beneath him on the wooden planks. You were above him, just as harrowed, your hair falling messily in your eyes and face, sweat glistening off your forehead and neck, your top half fitted in a tank top that made his inner voice purr.

Any other context. It could have been any other context.

You snapped on a pair of latex gloves and ripped open an antiseptic wipe packet.

"God—shit—you're so hot," he slurred, and his hands latched onto the backs of your knees as you pressed the wipe to his open wound. He cried out, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs, "Jesus Christ—"

"Wrong name," you muttered under your breath and lightened the pressure slightly off the alcohol pad in apology.

Changmin puffed out a huff of air. "You really want your neighbors to hear me screaming your name, pretty girl? 'Cause I can do that instead."

You gave an indulgent roll of your eyes, tossing the bloody wipe to the side and rummaging through the first aid box for the plastic pair of forceps in its depths. "Ever had a bullet yanked outta you before?"

His eyes fluttered shut for a moment. "Yeah. Ever taken a bullet out before?"

"Nope."

An impish smile lifted his lips. "So I'm your first."

"I've never strangled someone either," you quipped, using your forearm to swipe the hair sticking to your forehead so you could bend down slightly and focus your energy on locating this bullet. "Yet."

"I'm getting a feeling you're into choking."

The bullet had pierced through the right side of his abdomen, and you were trying not to focus too much on the toned muscle beneath your palms. The bullet had gone through a couple inches into the flesh, but luckily, it didn't look like you would have to dig for it. "You have a strange determination to find out," you murmured, carefully extracting the bullet from the wound opening.

Changmin's entire body tensed and you could hear how shallow his breathing was. "I have a lot of determination to find out much more about you than just that."

You cocked a brow as the bloodied bullet clattered to the wooden floor and you mentally cursed having to clean all this blood up later. You just had your floors done. "Like what? My favorite color?"

His laugh was raspy. "Favorite color of—shit! What the flying fuck—"

You couldn't even try to hide your small smirk as the needle pierced his skin. "Oops."

A muscle feathered in his jaw as you began to, gently, stitch up his wound. "When I can sit up, you will pay."

"Ooh, and I'm so intimidated," you giggled. Your tongue stuck out slightly as you continued to stitch him up.

You suddenly felt his fingers curl around your chin, his thumb grazing against your lip, your tongue. Your breath hitched from surprise. When you lifted your gaze to him in question, you found him already looking at you. "Do that again."

"What?" You stammered.

"You're so pretty when you laugh," he said, not an ounce of insincerity or teasing present.

Oh.

You swallowed, forcing yourself to brush his hand away. "Go back to playing dead," you mused, but your voice had gotten smaller. You couldn't believe you were being shy! And all because he whipped out the shadowy eyes and smooth maneuver.

Surprisingly, Changmin remained quiet as you finished up with the stitches. So far those volunteer hours under Jacob's tutelage were coming in handy. Once you had knotted off the thread, you found a large bandage in the box to cover the wound with. This was swiftly followed by a a couple of layers of gauze for some extra support.

When you were done, you huffed a sigh, swiping up your forehead with your arm. "Don't go anywhere, rockstar," you muttered, absentmindedly patting his chest and clambering to your feet to stumble over to your kitchen to shed your gloves and wash your hands.

You returned to Changmin on the living room floor with a damp kitchen towel. There was so much blood drying on the floor and you could already feel the headache of cleaning chemicals in your skull. That would have to be a problem for tomorrow after you slept.

"Okay, I'm gonna help you sit up," you said to him lowly.

He gave a nod, and you managed to carefully and slowly help him into a position where his back was no longer on the bloody hardwood. His face scrunched up in pain and he gritted his teeth, lightly letting his upper body curl around his knees while you wiped the blood off his skin as best you could.

There was something so intimate about the way you wordlessly took care of him so thoroughly. He didn't ask for anything from you; there you were, cleaning him up, getting him water and painkillers, helping him up onto your couch where he would no doubt bloody the cushions, too.

It was late—he could see the sleep tugging at the corners of your eyes. You perched onto the edge of the coffee table in front of him. "Thanks for saving my life," he croaked finally. He didn't know what else to say—all the bravado and banter had faded as the reality of the situation settled like the blanket of night sky outside of your windows.

You leaned one side of your face into the palm of your hand and spared him a smile. "Thanks for saving mine," you chuckled. "No guy has taken a bullet for me before."

Changmin grinned, the expression muddled with exhaustion. "I'd do it again, just so you know."

You shook your head. "For some reason, I believe you." Your joints ached as you stood up. Instead of walking away like you should have, you braced one hand against the couch cushion and the other behind his head on the back. His eyes flickered to your mouth, his pupils dilating, as you leaned forward and grazed your lips against his cheek.

When you straightened, you realized your heart was palpitating in your chest harder than it had been when you'd hauled him here with a bullet in his body. "I'll get you a blanket."

Changmin could only sit there and nod, a foreign ache of yearning screaming in his chest as he suppressed the urge to lift his hand up and caress the place your lips had been. "Thanks."

a/n: this was my excuse to use that banner or else it would've never seen the light of day

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @mingiholic @ethereal-engene @ja4hyvn @vatterie @yogurteume @justalildumpling @hyunjaespresent-deobi @hongyangi @pxppxrminty @nerdypastacalzonespy @zhaixiaowen @wtfhyuck @jcmdoll @winterchimez @kflixnet

[filthforfriends]

hey) this ask is about ideas for guide me. I'm not sure if it suits to the context of fic, but maybe smth with overstimulation? where y/n wants to try it, and thomas being soft, loving and careful but at the same time a bit strict, confident in action and ... and in short soft dom. i think you got what i mean. as I've already told I don't know if it fit the plot and mood of fic. but it's for you to decide

and I wanna know how are you doing, bestie?

I had a dream about this little drawing and when I woke up I came up with an idea similar to Guide Me, completly ignoring your suggestion. also ignoring all the blurb requests (whom I value so much im just mentally ill). and all the series I have open and going. so I decided to start writing something new!

the premise is this: what if a vulva-having girl squired to easily that she thought it was a normal part of the female orgasam. guys usually ejaculate, so if someone hadn't expressly told you otherwise, the idea that girls usually ejaculate to would make sense. so obviously this has mixed results in her sex life. some guys are disgusted, some guys ghost her. some of them fetishize her and treat her different, to the point that she quickly ends things because reader hates been treated like an accessory. so she's been made to feel that someone about her is wrong or gross or that sex usually changes everything because she doesn't know. she talks to her friends and thinks she's just had bad luck, but even as she tries not to take things personally, her sexual confidence takes a blow.

ENTER THOMAS RAGGI

they're friends first because I like rewriting the same fic over and over with slight variation because its comforting. so. we get to see how he goes about this situation, and his own flaws as a romantic partner (gotta get that yummy hurt/comfort) and how intimacy works then peoples understand of a "normal orgasam" is different

hint: its hot, sweaty, passionate, desperate, erotic fucking.

but of course he's left with "I'm not sure how to say this, but squirting isn't normal. Like its not weird! There's nothing wrong with it, I'm just not used to it. Not that thats a bad thing! You're not weird or anything...you're just not like most girls. And, and --you know what? Normal wasn't the write word, I should have said typical. You're, what's the word, atypical! No, no I don't think you're a science expert or anything! I'm not going to treat you that way, I swear its just....well its just I wasn't like expecting it. If you'd warned me - no, no, no don't apologize. If you could just give me a heads up next time, that way I could prepare. It's okay if it doesn't work like that. I mean it works like that for me but -- shit why are you crying? Oh no shit, shit , shit.

[bittercoldbrew]

For Keeps

Ezra (Prospect) x OC (Tess Stone)

Gotta post this quick, while everyone's distracted...

Okay, so I wrote this a few weeks ago, but I've been dragging my feet about posting it here because it's definitely the steamiest thing I've ever written and I feel. weird about that. But uhh despite its adult content I am still quite proud of the writing I've done here, and I think some folks here might uhh enjoy it as well, so here ya go!

Takes place immediately following the fade-to-black in Chapter 6 of To Build Something New, so this is Ezra and Tess's first time together—probably helps to have read that first, but it's almost entirely smut so I doubt much context is necessary 😅

This is for 18+ readers ONLY. Contains sexually explicit content, oral sex, fingering, a very quick handjob, a bit more size kink than I intended (sorry Sam), lots of swearing, a truly excessive amount of italics and em dashes (fight me), and Ezra being Ezra.

Word count: 3.6k

“Why don’t we...start with tonight, and see where that leads us?”

“That sounds good to me.”

His kiss leaves her breathless, stunned. Ezra loves her, wants her, she can feel it in the grip of his big hands on her waist, in the heat behind his glittering dark eyes. She thinks of trailing fingers through melted candle-wax—just shy of too hot to touch, pliant and cooling against her skin, peeling away and leaving her smoother than before. “Ezra,” she gasps, and he buries a hand in her hair and draws her in for another scorching kiss, breathing her own name into her.

“Tess—”

His mouth is a furnace—she would let him melt her down, mold her into whatever he wanted her to be. But he wants her as he is, loves her as she is, and for that—for that—gods, for that she’ll give him anything.

“Fuck,” she gasps into his mouth, pants for breath against his chin, begs without an ounce of shame, “fuck me.”

He looses his breath like she’s struck him, rocks his hips up into her, slips his hand more securely across her back and cradles her head in his hand and calls her, “Wanton thing...” And then he lifts up and turns and lowers her to the couch, drawing her under him, sheltering her in beneath the breadth and strength and solidity of his body.

There’s nowhere in all the galaxy she’d rather be.

She wets her lips and heaves a breath and meets his eyes. “Please?”

“Fu-uck,” he groans, rolling his hips and pressing his hard, hot length against her in a way that makes her heart and eyelids flutter. He tucks the prosthesis beside her hip to prop himself up, lowers his open mouth and slick tongue to suck and nip at her collarbone, trails his other hand—hot and calloused skin, firm and gentle grasp—around the dip of her waist and over the soft swell of her tummy. “Gotta be patient with me, pretty girl,” he rasps, voice rough in his throat. “Ain’t done this since I lost the arm. —Need to get it right.”

She drags a hand through his hair, scoffs at even the suggestion that he could get it wrong—and then his fingers dip beneath the waistband of her shorts; he grunts in surprise to find nothing but her skin beneath them, his thumb seeking lower, gliding between her lips and skimming over her clit and delving into her wet folds—and the scoff gets caught in her throat, escapes as a desperate whine.

“Oh, shit,” he breathes, and starts to push away from her. She cries out, makes a grab for him, but he catches her hand and shakes his head, drops a swift and soothing kiss to her ribcage, and clenches his fingers in the fabric of her shorts. “Shh, I know, I just—you gotta let me— Need to know what Kevva tastes like, Kyrie.”

She hasn’t even come yet; he’s scarcely even touched her. Already, he’s ruined her for all others.

“Ezra.” She hitches her hips as he drops to his knees beside the couch, letting him drag her shorts down as he goes.

He’s to impatient to pull them all the way off, so the elastic stretches to its limit across her right thigh and left calf as he wedges his chest between her legs and smothers his own face in her cunt. He is ravenous, insatiable, eating her out and drinking her down like she’s the last glass of water he thinks he’ll ever see, like he doesn’t want to waste a drop.

With anyone else, she’d be embarrassed by the slick, sloppy sounds he makes and the pathetic little noises she can’t rein in—but they seem to spur him on instead, both hands gripping her ass and tugging her closer with each desperate keen and—yes, wanton cry. He rubs his nose against her clit, licks and sucks at her wetness, scrapes the edges of his teeth against her sensitive folds to hear her gasp, thrusts his tongue inside to taste her deeper, lets her feel the rumble of his every contented sigh and satisfied hum as she buries her fingers in his hair and calls out “Yes,” and “Please,” and “Ezra…”

“That’s it,” he murmurs, words muffled in her flesh. “Need you to come, baby, so I can—fuckin’ think straight. C’mon, sweet girl. Let me have it.”

She comes in a cascade of pleasure, every sensation of lips and tongue and teeth and hands building off of the other, core throbbing and stars bursting behind her eyelids, pulse thudding in her ears, and the soothing comfort of Ezra’s voice behind it all, purring, “Yeah, yeah, just like that, oh Tess…”

The couch beneath her feels like a dream, a cloud, letting her drift back slowly to terra firma and her tingling, loose-limbed body. She remembers the day she found it, walking home from a long but satisfying shift at the clinic, spotting the bulky piece of furniture on the other side of the street, jogging across to read the note pinned to its cushion—free to a good home. She remembers that sudden, striking epiphany—that she had one of those now; that she could be one, even. She remembers comming the man she was falling for, remembers the glee in his voice at the prospect of a tiny bit of mischief in service of helping her haul this thing back to her place, remembers sitting there waiting for him to come—remembers daydreaming about what it might be like, perhaps, someday, to fuck Ezra Sky on this couch.

“If I’ve found my way, at last, to Kevva’s gates,” he murmurs softly, resting his forehead against her hipbone and speaking the words into the dark, damp curls between her legs, “I most humbly beg your mercy.”

He certainly hadn’t been the first of her patients to recite the old Prospector’s Prayer at the first sight of her. She’s pretty sure he’s the first to ever repeat it, now knowing better and being neither dead nor dying. She knows without a doubt that he’s the only one to ever have spoken it like this—as though he’s worried more for her opinion than his own fate—as though she is, and could ever be, worthy of praying to.

From any other person, the idea would make her recoil. From him, it makes her want to return the favor.

She rests her hand at his nape, holding him to her protectively, possessively. “They can’t have you yet,” she tells him. A promise. A threat, in case any gods out there think they might try to swoop in and snatch him away before she’s done with him.

He lifts his head to meet her eyes, his crooked grin and heated gaze striking her breathless, even now. “No, they can’t,” he drawls. “I’m yours, Tess.”

She smiles at him, tracing her fingers through the soft curls at the back of his neck, relishing in the way it makes his eyelids flutter and his head cant into her touch. “Then will you please just fuck me already?”

He chokes on a laugh, drops his face into the crook of her hip. “I, uh—didn’t bring anything with me. Protection, I mean. But I can—I’ll give you my fingers, sweet girl, if that’ll take the edge off? Or I guess I could run to the store; be back in a tick, if you can be patient?”

Tess cocks her head to the side and frowns down at him, confused. “Sorry, do you think I wouldn’t be up to date on my bots?”

His head snaps back up, eyes wide with surprise. “Your..? I… Fuck,” he gasps, shaking his head with a sheepish, sideways smile. “I have got to start rememberin’ I ain’t in the fuckin’ wilderness no more.”

She can’t quite stifle a laugh, too amused by the embarrassment that is such a rare sight on his gorgeous face. She cups his chin in her hand so he can’t hide that face again, strokes his cheek with her thumb, and says, “I’ll remind you anytime you need it, baby.”

“...Yeah?” he asks, and the look he gives her is one she’s seen from him before, one she’s sure she reflected back just as often, but one she’s never been brave or reckless enough to give a name to. But she can’t deny it now—he looks lovestruck.

She’s sure she looks the same.

“Yeah,” she promises, and pushes up on her elbows to lean into him, and he lifts up from his knees and meets her halfway, lips crushing against hers and his tongue in her mouth as she throws and arm around his neck to hold him close.

He tastes and smells like her, the reminder of the pleasure he’d just wrung out of her setting her body alight, and she squirms to kick her shorts off the rest of the way and starts tugging at his shirt. His chest and back and arms she’s seen before, but she wants to see them again—see all of him—like this, with better lighting and better circumstances and all the time she needs to see her fill and the right to touch him all she wants. She wants to see as much of him as he’ll let her, for as long as he’ll let her. She can’t imagine ever growing weary of the sight.

“Gods, Tess,” he groans, drawing back and lifting his arms so she can pull the shirt over his head and toss it away. “I should—do this properly. Should carry you to bed, or somethin’.”

“Later,” she huffs, the word and the promise it holds echoing around in her own head as she slips out of her sweater and reaches for the hem of her tank top, starting to lift that off as well. “I need you now.”

Ezra curses under his breath and fumbles to help her, hands trailing against her skin as the last of her clothing is lifted up and tossed away.

He stares down at her slack-jawed, panting, his gaze hot and heavy and seemingly tangible as it traces over her, leaving her skin flushed in its wake. “Oh,” he breathes, the word leaving his mouth with a shudder. “Oh, Kevva has nothin’ on you, Tess. How—how are you so beautiful? How could you...want me?”

“You’re all I want, Ez,” she admits, grabbing his left hand and dragging it between her legs, letting him feel how wet she is for him, again, already. He seems dazed, stunned, but his fingers know what to do, sliding against her in a way that makes her chest heave, a moan hitching in her throat. And he watches her react to his touch, swallows hard, leans in and rests his forehead against hers, screwing his eyes closed and taking a deep, steadying breath—still stroking her.

So she slips a hand between them, skimming across his hipbone, cupping the hard ridge through his pants as his breath catches, hips rutting softly into her touch. “Ezra,” she breathes, trying to draw him back to her—but he responds with a low whine that makes her bite back a moan, his hips pressing into her hand more intently, fingers slipping lower, the thick, blunt tips of the first two just beginning to press into her.

“I know,” he says, still not opening his eyes. “I know I said we’d just start with tonight. But I’m not—I can’t… If you let me do this, Tess, it’s for keeps. I’ll be good, I promise I’ll try to be good for you. I’ll give you space, or time, or whatever you need, anything you need. But you—you make me feel adrift, Tess—like the only thing keeping me tethered is you and your voice and your smile, and, Tess, if you give me this, too, I’m done for. I’m all—all yours.”

“Yes,” she gasps, rolling her hips to take his fingers deeper, stroking him faster through his pants. “That’s what I want, Ezra. You’re what I want.”

“Shit.” He opens his eyes again, and his gaze is molten as it traces from her eyes to her lips and down her neck and over her breasts and along her stomach and down to her cunt where his fingers are now buried inside her, stroking deeper than her own reach, pulling slick sounds and breathy gasps from her.

“Fuck, Tess, I should—I should be better for you,” he mutters, distractedly, sitting up and fumbling at his belt with the prosthesis, kicking off his shoes, curling his fingers inside her in a way that makes her back arch, makes her swallow a desperate cry. “But I will—I promise I’ll give you my best.”

She’s pretty sure his best would wreck her.

She’s certain it will, once he gets his pants undone and pushes them down with a little hop, his cock jutting free, dark and weeping and bobbing against the soft swell of his belly, thicker than anything she’s ever had before.

“Oh,” she moans, incapable of anything more intelligent, grabbing his left wrist with one hand so she can pull herself toward him and reach desperately with the other.

He spits out a curse and shoves his pants and briefs to the ground and lurches toward her, sliding his hot and twitching length into her eager palm. It’s so much, too thick for her fingers to wrap around and meet her thumb, but not for lack of trying. She strokes him only once and earns a litany of curses and a cry of her name from his lips and a drizzle of precum on her forearm for her efforts.

“Ezra. Ezra, Ezra, Ezra, please, Ezra,” she begs, and he nods his head jerkily and pulls back from her with a groan. She makes a pitiful sound as he drags his fingers out of her, but he’s quick to soothe with feather-light caresses of his prosthetic hand against her inner thigh, the polished polymer smoothness a grounding comfort as she bites her lip and watches him smear his cock with her slick.

“I know, baby, I know you need it,” he murmurs, dipping his fingers back inside for a little more, sloppily coating himself with her. “I’ve got you, Tess, I’ll be good for you. Just—just—just give me a second.”

She’ll give him anything he asks for, give him every star in the sky if he wants ‘em, as he slides his hand along her thigh and around her knee, lifting her leg to wrap around him and spreading her open, nocking his tip against her entrance. She lifts her hands to his chest, aching to touch him, needing something to hold onto, feeling his muscles flex, his pulse thumping against her palm, racing in time with her own—as he presses into her.

She’s been so wet this whole time, this whole night, practically from the moment she’d opened her door to find him standing there with a bottle in his hands, concern and sympathy in his eyes. But still, he’s so big, trying to take it slow, take it easy on her, stretching her so deep it forces the breath from her lungs, pinning her hips to the cushions with both his hands to keep her from squirming or driving herself on him too quick.

“Fuck, Tess, you’re so—so tight,” he grits out, as if she’s somehow the issue here, bottoming out before she can mount any kind of coherent defense, his pelvis resting against her aching clit and leaving her breathless, speechless, incapable of anything more sensate than throwing her arms around his neck and dragging his lips down to hers. He groans into her mouth, filling her with his breath as much as all the rest. It’s a messy kiss, all tongues and teeth and gasping, and it may be the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

“Ezra,” she pants into him, trying to roll her hips but unable to with his weight on her. “Ezra, please, I need—I need you.”

He nods his head, dragging his open mouth against her neck, hot and wet, teeth barely nipping at her skin as he pulls out halfway—then just drops back into her.

She gasps, digging her fingers into the solid muscle of his back. “Ezra!”

He laves his tongue against her neck in apology, then lifts up on his elbows and gazes down at her, panting mouth and sweat-slick skin and eyes blown pitch black, endlessly dark. He pulls out for real this time with a cant of his hips, rolls back into her, sliding deep—then does it again. And again, and again, settling into a steady, eager rhythm that has her rocking up to meet him with every stroke.

“Tess—sweetheart—baby, you feel—too good,” he groans, shaking his head. “And it’s… It’s been a while, Tess, and I—I can’t—can’t last as long as you deserve, sweet girl.”

“Close,” she gasps, chest heaving, gripping his hand tight, dragging his fingers to her needy clit. She’s too keyed up—from the prior orgasm, and the way his fingers had worked her over, and the heft and weight and heat of him filling her again and again. “I’m close, please.”

He growls, nodding frantically, rolling her clit between two fingers—her back lurches up off the cushions, and he swipes his other arm under her ass, bracing himself on his knees and the back of the couch, angling her hips up and snapping his down into her. “Next time,” he babbles, “next time. Promise you. Tess—Tess, where—? Where can I—?”

She clenches trembling thighs around him, just in case—barely manages to meet his wild eyes and grit out, “Inside.”

Then the orgasm consumes her, every nerve ending sparking white-hot, the pleasure overwhelming, all-encompassing, filling her up and flooding out all else but itself and the throbbing of her cunt and the feeling of Ezra spilling inside her with a desperate, broken cry of her name—and then the sweat-slick heat of his skin against hers, the weight of him pressing her into the couch cushions as he all but collapses on top of her.

Somewhere in all of that, his mouth finds her, and he drags a line of wet kisses along her collarbone and up into the crook of her neck. She runs a shaky hand up the broad pane of his back and down again, relishing in the feeling of firm, strong muscle fully relaxed beneath her touch.

“Ezra,” she says—just to appreciate the sensation of his name in her mouth.

“Mnh?” His response is little more than a low, sleepy breath. She shakes her head anyway, not wanting to disturb this afterglow, not wanting to speak because anything she could say in this moment would be irrevocably, embarrassingly lovesick.

But he is, as always, ill content to linger in silence. With a groan, he shifts the bulk of his weight off her and props himself on his side to look at his handiwork, at the mess he’s made of her. The creases are deep at the corners of his smiling eyes as he lifts his hand to her cheek, smooths a dark coil of hair out of her face.

She hadn’t had time to style or fully dry it after her shower, with his unexpected arrival, and she doesn’t even want to imagine what kind of bird’s nest it’s become after all...this. But Ezra doesn’t seem to notice, tracing his fingers down her cheek with a slow, easy smile. “You’re so beautiful, Tess,” he breathes.

And because it’s Ezra—because he’s never lied to her about anything that matters—she can’t help but believe him.

And her eyes well with tears.

“Hey, hey—” His voice is a soft rasp, his brow wrinkling in concern as he brushes an escaping tear away. “Baby?”

“Sorry,” she gasps, shaking her head. “Sorry. I’m alright.”

“Are you..?” He slides his dick free of her and cranes his neck to look, checking for any sign of blood. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she hurries to reassure, lifting a hand to his chin, guiding him back to her. “No, I’m just… Today was just—intense.”

He hums softly, keeping close, sort of hovering worriedly. “Was this...too much?”

She’s still crying a little, but manages to grin, leaning in and resting her forehead against his cheek. “No, this was...good. This was so good.”

He hums again, thoughtfully, trailing gentle, calloused fingers against her skin. There’s a warm, lilting tease in his voice, as he asks, “Only good?”

She huffs a watery laugh, laying her hand over his, keeping his palm against her cheek so he can feel her smiling. “Don’t wanna set the bar too high. I was promised a next time.”

“You were indeed,” he assures her, seriously, a little breathlessly. “And I do aim to deliver.”

“I know,” she says, pulling back to meet his eyes again, tracing her finger along the curve of scar tissue in his cheek. Fell out of a tree, she thinks. Not going anywhere. He promised.

“For keeps, right?” she asks, her smile fading, needing to hear him say it again, needing to be certain.

He cups the back of her head and draws in close—close enough for the tip of his nose to rest against hers, close enough that all she can see are his warm, dark eyes and the love and honesty and certainty in them. “For keeps,” he promises, his breath warm and welcome against her skin.

And because it’s Ezra, she believes him.

[baekhyuq]

“Get You Alone.” Baekhyun(m)

Chapter 2: Wine and Ice cream

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Single Dad!Bbh

Word count: 8.2k

Mini Playlist:

Paradise - EXO

Betcha - Baekhyun

WHIPPIN - Baekhyun

Summary: You meet your friend’s parent for the first time.

(This is not proof read lol)

<<Previous Next>>

You couldn’t stop thinking of what Baekhyun said that day, it’s been two days since and all you’ve thought about was him. What he was doing, what we was thinking. You felt like some love sick teen.

“You’re doing it again…” Sofia pouted, looking at you from across the table. “You’re zoning out.”

“Im sorry Sof, I get so easily distracted these days. You know I’m a grandma.” You apologize providing comedic relief. You felt bad, Sofia didn’t know. Would you tell her? Could you?

“You always say that Y/n.”

“Ugh, when you say it like that I truly do feel old.” You fake a cry.

Sofia rolls her eyes before smiling. “You’re hot for a granny.” She jokes. “Thanks, I could take anybody’s grandpa.” You say taking a sip of your drink, you both were in the school’s court yard, just talking. It was a nice day out, it was cold enough for you to wear a sweater and not burn up.

“Im surprised you’re wearing a sweater, actually.” Sofia says pinching the fabric between her fingers. “Its cute too.”

You grin, “I know right? And thanks, I got it from a thrift store.” Checking your phone you see that it’s time for you to be home. “Well would you look at the time- ow..” You’re cut off by a cramp in your stomach.

“Whats up?” Sofia places her hand on your shoulder as you wrap your arms around your middle. “Cramps? Must be that time of the month~” She teases.

You groan throwing your head back annoyed, “I really need to get back on birth control. This wouldn’t be happening.”

Sofia laughs at you agreeing. “I haven’t had one for over a year now. It was funny when I asked to even be put on birth control, daddy was so confused.” She snorts, “The look on his face was funny as hell.”

You smile at the thought of Baekhyun questioning Sofia about her sex life, like some confused old man thinking all girls were innocent. Especially his baby girl.

“I would pay to see Baekhyun’s face like that.”

“Huh?” Sofia raises an eyebrow at you, “He must have told you his first name? That’s funny.”

Your eyes widen slightly, shit. You didn’t mean to slip up like that, letting it slip out of your mouth was surprising. “Oh yeah, he introduced himself to me when I came over.”

“Oh! I forgot to ask, how did you like him? He’s a nerd sometimes but he funny I swear. You’ll love him.” Sofia exclaims, wrapping her arm around yours. “He seems very sweet.” Is all you respond with, even though Sofia doesn’t know about you two. Any other response out of context-in Sofia’s case-would be suspicious.

“That’s good you two will get along. Speaking of…You have to come back tomorrow for studying. I have so many more chapters I need to finish to even study them.” Sofia pleads with her eyes looking at you.

You roll your eyes, “Of course of course. You need all the help you can get. I understand it’s your second semester but starting these good habits will help you in the long run.”

“You’re so dependable Y/n, you’re like a mother at times.”

You could feel your face become red at the thought of being Sofia’s mother and Baekhyun’s lover. The thought was enough to overwhelm you. You put on a smile humming in response. “It’s time for me to head home now though. We should get coffee tomorrow morning.” You pat her hand that’s around your arm before standing up. Sofia stands with you, you now realize just how much taller Sofia is than you, only by a few inches.

Sofia pouts, letting your arm go. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me when you’re home.” She smiles, side hugging you.

“Will do, bye bye.”

You’re sitting in your living room, in a pair of shorts and a short sleeved shirt. It was the perfect temperature in your house. “Ahh.” You exhaled, “Finally some time for myself.” You grabbed your head set and plugged it into your controller. You loved to play games in your free time, you loved to play Overwatch especially support. You played for hours until your stomach growled, you traveled to the kitchen debating what to eat. You weren’t hungry enough for a meal, maybe a little snack. You looked in your fridge seeing a yogurt cup. You shrugged grabbing it, you looked into your pantry for any granola, grabbing the bag before sprinkling a handful into the yogurt cup.

You sat back on your couch in the living room, opting to watch some YouTube while you ate. The sun was going down, usually you would be studying or calling your parents to chat. You felt so lethargic from starting your period all you wanted to do was watch some gameplays and eat. You desperately wish you would buy a heating pad for your stomach when you had cramps so painful they made you walk doubled over.

Your phone dings, you already know it’s a text from Sofia.

“Whats up babe?” You roll your eyes at her playfulness before responding back, “Im dying from cramps I want cuddles.” You were curled up, hugging a stuffed animal you’ve had since forever.

“Aww, I’m sowwy. You should take some pain killers or eat some chocolate.” She replies. You groan when you feel another cramp torture you. Before you respond your phone rings and it’s Sofia calling to face time you.

“Hello granny.” Sofia says, you see her smiling face on your screen.

“You’re so cruel to me.” You had your phone turned side ways, laying with you. You look tired looking into the camera, Sofia notices.

“My poor baby~ you should use a heating pad for your cramps. You should go to sleep soon too.”

“Its only 7pm, and I don’t have one. Im so dumb for not buying one.” You groan. “I could really use it.”

“I’ll lend you mine when you come over tomorrow.” Sofia offers, you hum happily in response, smiling.

“I’ll never be use to being in college, it’s so tiring.”

“Who are you on the phone with?” You hear his voice. You couldn’t miss it, even though he sounded so far in the background your ears perked up. “Y/n.” Sofia responds smiling at whatever her dads doing. “Hi Y/n.” Baekhyun’s face appears in the camera, waving.

A small smile spreads across your lips, “Hello Mr. Byun.”

“How was classes?” He asks, taking the phone from Sofia. You’re surprised.

“They were good, how was your day?”

“Pretty okay, thanks for asking.”

You want to laugh at how Sofia interrupts him, grabbing her phone back. “Okay dad, this is our girl time, thank you.” You can hear Baekhyun apologizing dramatically. “He’s so goofy.”

“Definitely.”

“So Y/n...” Sofia drags out your name, “How has your college love experience been?” She asks with a mischievous smile on her face.

You laugh, “Non-existent. College men are assholes and I’ll never date one or fuck one again.”

“Wow, I feel you. They’re all so very boring. It’s like rinse and repeat with their personalities.”

You agree with her, sighing. “I’ve always focused more on my studies anyway. Those men deserve to fail every class.” You snort, watching Sofia laughing as well.

“I agree.” You see her swipe up on her phone. “It’s bed time for you missy.” She says with a fake stern voice. “You need your beauty rest. “Yeah yeah yeah. I’ll sleep after a few more videos. I’ll probably fall asleep on the couch.” You yawn.

“Good, sweet dreams Y/n.”

You heart skipped a beat before replying. “Good night, Sof.”

Those were the exact same words Baekhyun said to you before sending you back to their guest room. It gave you butterflies in your stomach at the thought of Baekhyun. He was just so perfect.

You smiles to yourself, hugging your stuffed animal tighter before closing your eyes, too lazy to go to your room to sleep.

The next day was pretty cold, you wore the same sweater from yesterday with an under shirt incase. Meeting up with Sofia for coffee was relaxing, you both sipped from your hot coffees discussing college, new music and the news.

“Your sweater looks so familiar I feel like I’ve seen it before I just don’t know where.” Sofia says wracking her brain for an answer.

“Really? It could be anyones really, maybe it was a popular sweater style at one time.” You take a sip from your coffee again, the warm liquid comforting your throat. Your stomach cramped, reminding you of Mother Nature. “Ugh. Cramps really are the worst form of torture.”

Sofia looks at you with a empathetic look, “I know.. It sucks, I’m sorry.” She rubs your lower back comforting you.

“That actually feels so nice.” You moan, you remember when your mother would sit on your bed with your and rub your back after you had your first few periods.

“Daddy would do this for me when I had them.” Sofia smiles.

“Really? My mom did the same thing. How funny.”

“It’s so soothing.” Sofia leans back in her chair watching the scenery outside. You rest your head on your hand, your body was still so tired and aching.

“Ugh, I feel like going home but I don’t want to drive 45 minutes back home and then drive to your house for studying.” You pout.

Sofia frowns, “You can just go to my house. It will save you a trip, i’ll text dad and tell him you’re coming.” She grabs her phone and sends a texts to Baekhyun.

Your eyes widen, “Oh you don’t have to I-“

“It’s fine Y/n, we girls know how hard periods can be on us. Especially the first few days.” She tries to convince you, “Plus we have chocolate ice cream in the freezer and a heating pad with your name on it.”

“That does sound like a good time.” You drool at the thought of eating ice cream, while relaxing. “Fine. Just this once, I won’t let it happen again.”

Sofia smiles giggling at your stubbornness. “Good, i’ll walk you to your car.”

You pull into Sofia’s driveway, nervous. It does beat driving all the way back home. But at the same time you’re so anxious about being around Baekhyun.

You see the front door open and watch as Baekhyun walks toward your car with a smile.

You open your door, bag and phone in hand. Baekhyun holds your door open for you, seeing you carry a heavy bag, he rushes to take them off your hands.

“I’ll carry them for you, you just get inside.” He offers.

You thought it was sweet, Sofia must have told him everything. You sighed, that girl had a big mouth.

“Thank you.” You say as you take of your shoes leaving them at the door. The house smells so nice and fresh, as if he just cleaned.

“Don’t worry about it-“ He pauses looking down at your sweater. “Is that my, sweater?”

“Huh? Oh I thrifted this.”

“What size is it?”

“Xtra large.”

Baekhyun smiles shaking his head, he couldn’t believe he was seeing you in his clothes already. Albeit you had no idea it was his in the first place. But it was a cute scene for him to admire.

“So it is yours, you donated it?” You ask. Baekhyun nods.

“You look so cute in it.” He says, not needing to worry if somebody heard him.

You hide your embarrassment by changing the subject, “Thanks… I was actually promised chocolate ice cream and a heating pad.”

Baekhyun snorts, sporting a boyish smile, “Coming right up miss, please have a seat.” He teased before walking upstairs.

You smiled to yourself, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s not like Baekhyun is going to sit and stare at you for two hours. You didn’t need to be nervous, besides he already confessed he liked you as well. You sat on the comfortable couch, relaxing your aching bones into the plush furniture.

“Comfortable?” Baekhyun asks noticing your tired body leaned all the way into the couch.

“Unbelievably so.” You respond. He hands you a square shaped heating pad decorated in red hearts. You laughed knowing Sofia picked it out. Placing it over your stomach gave you so much needed relief you groaned subconsciously.

Baekhyun stopped in his track on the way to the kitchen, looking back at you. Your head was leaning back on the couch with your mouth open. He struggled to look away from your figure before robotically moving through the kitchen. He came back with a small bowl of chocolate ice cream.

“Thank you, so much.” The ice cream melted in your mouth, it was smooth and cold. The perfect combination. “I have this same bowl at home.” You comment.

Baekhyun’s blankly staring at you from beside you, you don’t notice as you’re enjoying the ice cream and watching whatever is playing. You glance over in his direction, spoon hanging out of your mouth. He’s already looking at you, a small smile on his lips. He shakes his head before leaning back and putting his feet on the coffee table.

“You’re very interesting Y/n.” He comments, eyes now on the television.

You admire his hair that’s messily pushed away from his face, his plump cheeks and cute nose on display. He looked so handsome to you, especially in this moment admiring his side profile. It felt so unreal to be in his presence. You face forward again, looking down at your almost empty bowl.

Baekhyun notices, “Do you want some more?” He offers.

You turn to look at him again, nodding shamefully.

He laughs before taking your bowl. “What’s the magic word?”

“Excuse me?” You raise an eyebrow at his question. You’re not 10.

“Incorrect.”

“Please?”

“Bingo.” He leaves to the kitchen, and you once again shamefully stare at his figure. He was like candy to your eyes. He returns with two bowls one with vanilla and one with chocolate.

“You don’t like chocolate?” You question as you spoon more ice cream into your mouth.

“I love chocolate.” He says casting his gaze onto your lips wrapping around the spoon before letting go. “I let you have the rest.” He whispers, teasing you.

You pout playfully before cracking a joke, “Do you want some?” Offering a spoon full of ice cream in his direction.

Baekhyun pauses for a second before taking the spoon into his mouth.

You were caught off guard, his eyes were looking into yours before he released the spoon from his mouth, licking his lips. You’ve never seen anything more sexual right in your face.

“Thanks, Y/n.” Baekhyun grins before enjoying his own bowl. He watches your frozen figure staring at him with slightly widened eyes. “Here,” He returned the favor by holding his spoon in front of your mouth. You reluctantly eat the ice cream from his spoon, avoiding his eyes. “ ‘Thank you Baekhyun.’ Oh you’re welcome.” Baekhyun teases you even further.

He’s so evil, you thought to yourself. You felt a cramp in your stomach, frowning at the feeling.

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks catching your expression.

“It’s just cramps.” You groan, sometimes the cramps would leave you breathless. Holding your breath while the pain passed by. “Im okay though.”

Baekhyun nods and takes both of your empty bowls to the sink before washing them and drying his hands with a towel. He returns to the living room, pumping some lotion into his hands and rubbing them together. You caught the smell of the lotion and it smelled like pumpkins. It smelled nice and sweet.

You lay on your side, leaning on the side of the couch holding the heating pad to your stomach. It gave you a little relief to lay down.

“I’m so glad I don’t have to go through that.” Baekhyun’s comment fills the air.

You roll your eyes before looking his direction. “Yeah yeah. I wish you could experience half the pain, you men wouldn’t be so loud.”

Baekhyun laughs at your statement, “I’ll pass, I can tell by you having to lay down instead of sitting up right that the pain is that bad.”

You sigh, “Yeah, it feels better to lay down actually.”

“When Sof was on her monthly, I would rub her back for her till she fell asleep. She loved it.” Baekhyun smiles at your curled up figure. He was surprised to be told you were coming over by Sofia. He didn’t want to admit he was happy to see you again, to be in your presence and tease you endlessly.

“My mom would do the same thing when I was younger. She would stay with me right before bedtime.” The smile on your face makes Baekhyun’s heart beat faster.

He thinks for a moment, “Here.” Baekhyun places his hand on your lower back, rubbing in a back and forth motion. You were shocked at first, but soon relaxed into the comforting feeling. You close your eyes sighing, you feel his hand pause before continuing. You could seriously fall asleep. You were fed, you were warm and now you’re being massaged. This felt like heaven.

“This seriously feels so nice.” You whisper to Baekhyun even if he didn’t hear you. Which he did, laughing lowly to himself. “I could stay like this for all eternity.”

“You could.”

Baekhyun’s words catch you by surprise. What was he saying? “What do you mean by that..” You’re almost reluctant to ask him, you’re scared to even hear his response.

“Y/n.. You know I like you. It’s only natural I’d want you to stay here as well.” His words make you grin to yourself, was this how it felt to be so giddy in front of someone you liked.

“I didn’t expect you to say something like that so soon is all.” You say truthfully, you’ve known Baekhyun for so little time but you’re so infatuated with him.

“I understand Y/n,” Baekhyun leans closer for only you to hear him even though there is no other soul here. His side is flesh with your legs. “I’m usually a very patient person, but you make me so very impatient.”

You want to hit him for making you feel so embarrassed, his voices and tone all so low and inviting. “I’m sorry?” Was all you could think of, your mind was putting together scenarios of you and Baekhyun together.

“Don’t apologize,” Baekhyun’s hand on your back grips your side, he’s now leaning over you completely. He looks so heavenly in this position, you could only think dirty thoughts by seeing him over you in such a way. He’s leaning down closer and closer to your face, stopping only a few inches away. “It’s a nice challenge restraining myself.” He whispers, “You’re so cute when you blush.”

You could only look up at him, his eyes staring right back at yours. They were half lidded and dark, so sensual. The proximity to him made your heart beat faster, the beating is practically in your ear. Baekhyun smiles, one that shows his perfect teeth.

“Ah, seriously.” He pushes himself off of you, leaving his hand on your backside. “You’re too easy to turn red. How does that make you feel?”

“Like a tomato.” You’re pouting from being teased so often. “Why can’t you not tease me? I can’t think straight when you do those things.”

“What things?” Baekhyun plays dumb.

You sit up and come really close to Baekhyun’s face, “These types of things.” His heart skips a beat, feeling like some boy leaning in to kiss his crush. You go to move back to your spot but Baekhyun’s hand on your back stops you. You furrow your brows confused. You see Baekhyun’s eyes dart to your lips, causing you to subconsciously bite them.

“May I?”

You couldn’t say no, no matter how much teasing he’s done, you couldn’t resist wanting to kiss him as well. So you nodded slowly.

Baekhyun’s hand cupped your cheek softly, bringing your lips to his. He could only think about how soft your lips actually were, how they fit so perfectly with his. He could practically still taste the chocolate on your tongue. It was a slow kiss, one with so much pent up tension releasing slowly. Baekhyun was the one to pull away, watching as your eyes opened to his, a dazed look in your eyes. He smiled, before bringing your lips to his for a small peck, and another, and another…and another. Baekhyun leaned his head back on the couch staring at you, you were gorgeous to him. He’d never found someone as beautiful as he found you. You watched as Baekhyun licked his lips, ending with him grinning at you.

“Your lips are seriously heaven.” He whispers, “Im sure your other pair are just as heavenly.”

You gaps, hitting Baekhyun on his chest, “You’re so dirty minded, why couldn’t we just have had a nice moment.”

Baekhyun laughs, smiling at your shouting and hitting. “That wasn’t romantic to you?” He jokes, rubbing your back.

“As romantic as me being on my period.” You roll your eyes, smiling to yourself. You almost forgotten where you were. Baekhyun brought you out of reality with that kiss. You subconsciously bit your lip thinking about it again.

Baekhyun snorts, it’s his turn to roll his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, sure. You’ll learn to take me as I am” He says dramatically pulling you against him in an embrace to emphasize you being his. Even if you weren’t.

You yelp in the sudden movement before laughing with him, he really was a fun person to be around. “Okay not too rough, I don’t want to move so much.” You pat his shoulder to release you.

Baekhyun does so, and pulls you back just to admire the smile on your face. “You look pretty with a smile.” He comments. “Smile more often.”

It makes you smile even wider, the comment leaving your cheeks red again. “Thank you.” You felt another cramp coming on slowly. You groaned once more, “Just kill me already.” You joke. Baekhyun lets you lay down again, with your head on his lap. He rubs your back soothing your pains slightly.

The comfortable position caused your eyes to struggle to keep open, you feel like you’re being put to sleep by how relaxing this all was.

Baekhyun notices your breathing evening out and sees your eyes closed. You looked so cute asleep on his lap, he wanted to just take you to his room and cuddle you all day. Though, he knows Sofia would be home in about a few hours. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Sofia would react to you two, he couldn’t think of her reacting any other way than angry or upset. How could you two continue your feelings or even become something? Baekhyun sighs, letting his other hand pet your head.

“We’ll work something out.” He whispers.

You wake up to Sofia patting your back, smiling down at you. “Hey babes, you fell asleep?”

“Oh, yeah I was tired.” You slowly sit up.

“You don’t have to get up if you don’t want to. I was just checking on you.” She sits down beside you.

You shake your head, “I’ve slept for too long already.” You’re curious as to where Baekhyun has went, as you look around the room. “How was classes?”

“Ugh, so boring without you.” She pouts grabbing your arm. “I had to actually talk to boys without you.” She fake cries. “Oh no it will be the end of you.” You mock her fake crying, before laughing. “Im sorry I just was not feeling good enough to last through class.”

“Did you have ice cream?” Sofia asks.

“Yeah she had two bowls full.” You hear Baekhyun’s voice as he walks into the room. He smiles at Sofia before looking down at his phone. “She actually finished the rest of the tub.”

You blush remembering sharing your ice cream with Baekhyun earlier. “It was better than any ice cream I’ve tasted.” You admit.

“Its so good,” Sofia giggles. “Do you feel like studying in a few? I want to shower before.” She asks, standing up.

You nod, “Yeah I can wait. Go ahead.”

Sofia dismisses herself leaving the room. Your eyes shift over to Baekhyun who’s still standing, on his phone. “Yes Y/n?” He can feel your eyes on him.

“Nothing.”

He lifts his eyes to meet yours, a smirk on his lips. “Okay then, sweetie.”

You grin at the nickname, it was cute. Simple and innocent enough to say in front of anyone, but cute. “Baekhyun?”

He hums in response.

“How old are you?” You ask, you knew he couldn’t be past his early 30’s.

“Im thirty five.” He says, walking over to your sitting figure. “Is that surprising?”

You are surprised, he looked so young, he’d aged so handsomely. His ex wife was lucky, was. You grin at the fact that Baekhyun was single. An actual diff. You laughed out loud at your own thoughts, catching Baekhyun off guard. “Wow you’re going to laugh in my face? I know I’m getting old, geez.”

“No- its not that. I was thinking something funny, you look so young to be in your thirty’s.” You shake your head still laughing, trying to contain yourself.

“Well what was so funny?”

“I was thinking about how you’re a dilf.” You laugh trying to get your words out.

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at you with a grin on his face, “Wow is that how you see me, Y/n?” He crosses his arms over each other, “You do have a dirty mind. I knew it.” He walks closer before thumping you in the forehead. “It’s always the innocent looking ones.”

“Ow, what does that even mean?” You rub your forehead, looking up at Baekhyun with a scowl.

“Women like you, who appear to look and be innocent but once you get down to it…” He leans down to your level, “You’re actually a nymphomaniac.”

You pushed Baekhyun’s shoulder rolling your eyes. “Yeah sure, I’ll tell you right now that isn’t true.”

“Care to show me?”

“Control your hormones Byun.” You scoff, his boldness turns you on but you’ll never admit it to him. His ego would only grow bigger.

“It’s hard to when you’re around.” Baekhyun whines like a child.

You could only stare as this grown man was entertaining you. “You’re too playful.” You shake your head.

Baekhyun smiles, before standing between your legs, forcing you to look up at him. He looked tall from this angle. “I just like to see you smiling. You look like you need a laugh.”

Baekhyun’s words made your heart beat out of your chest, he had a way with words.

Truthfully Baekhyun did love seeing your smile. It made his heart flutter every time he saw it, he would make a fool out of himself just to see it. He loved the view of you’re gorgeous eyes staring back up at him, he felt the urge to kiss you but knew now wasn’t the time. He didn’t know how you two could find time for each other, how to get you alone. Sofia would be leaving for a week or so to stay with her grandparents visiting her mother’s side of the family, that would be the perfect time. Baekhyun smiles down at you, cupping your face in his hand. He rubs your cheek with his thumb, he feels intoxicated touching you each time its like he’s taken a shot of vodka and his body is becoming warm.

It’s endearing to feel you lean into his hand, your eyes leaving his to glance at his lips. Baekhyun shook his head, laughing lowly before detaching himself from you. He walked over to the other couch, sitting down. He was sitting with his legs spread, his arm crossed over his chest and the other scrolling on his phone.

You scoff at him, how dare he get you so ready for a kiss just to be teased. You threw a pillow at Baekhyun, it hitting his leg and landing in his lap. “Asshole.”

Baekhyun takes the pillow and holds it to himself, “You know we can’t do anything now, Y/n.” He says quietly in a sing song voice. “I knew you were a nymphomaniac.”

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever, this is your fault.”

“Hmm, maybe it is. What are you going to do about it?”

You give Baekhyun a look, he shuts his mouth before he says anything else. You stand up and walk over to Baekhyun, taking the pillow and smacking him upside the head. “Stop teasing me, especially this time of the month.”

“Okay, Okay don’t hurt me, mean lady.”

“Mean lady?!” You gasp. “I know you’re not talking, old man.”

Baekhyun places his hand over his chest dramatically, “Don’t remind me, Y/n.”

You point a finger at Baekhyun, he’s looking up at you. “Stop testing me then.”

“Yes ma’am.” Baekhyun says with a low voice. You don’t know why but the way he says the words make your legs weak. Baekhyun notices your blank expression and smiles. He stands up from his spot on the couch, now looking down at you. “Have fun studying, I do hope you spend the night.” He says but he’s only joking, dragging his hand across your waist as he walked off to where you presumed was his room.

“This is the third chapter right? It will be our last for today?” Sofia questions, begging to quit studying. It had only been about two and a half hours, you knew this was still new to her. Making her dread actually studying wouldn’t be good for her future studying habits.

“Yeah this will be the last, we can wrap it up after this.” You nod, scribbling down notes as you read along your textbooks. Your stomach had been hurting a bit, your cramps kicking your ass once more. Sofia offered for you to spend the night again and you couldn’t refuse, you didn’t mind not having to drive home at 11 at night.

You watch over Sofia reading over books, she actually was a determined worker if she understood the material. You were happy she was learning and catching on quickly.

“You know…” Sofia starts. “Dad has been acting a little strange the past few days.”

You look up slowly from your notes to see Sofia already staring at you. “Really? H-how so?”

“He’s been staring at walls sometimes and asking me how a certain hair style would look on him. Ill catch him randomly laughing or smiling..He seems happier, or distracted.” Sofia shakes her head. “I don’t know maybe it’s just him being old.” She snorts.

“Maybe.” Was all you could reply, nervous that she had found out but being reassured she was as oblivious as day one. You did feel bad with her not knowing, you couldn’t describe why you felt so horrible.

You hear the door knob twist and the door opens, Baekhyun’s head popping out the opening. “Dinner is almost finished, whenever you guys are ready to eat.”

“Okay, we’ll be down soon.” Sofia nods, turning back to her textbook.

You watch as Baekhyun shifts his eyes to you, winking before closing the door.

“Whats got you smiling?” Sofia lifts her head to see a small grin on your lips.

You shake your head, “Im excited to eat, I’m hungry.” You lie. It was only half a lie? You would love to eat Baekhyun up. But that day would come, much, much later. Painfully slow.

“You know, he can really cook. He’s always feeding me I’m scared I’ll be immobilized. Im already chunky.”

“You’re the hottest girl I know.” You smile, scruffing Sofia’s chin before going back to taking notes.

Sofia giggles, “Thanks, and you’re the hottest girl I know.” She repeats back to you.

You both laugh before continuing another 10 minutes, questioning each other over the material.

You stretched your limbs, hearing some of your joints popping with a satisfying noise. “Sofia, I’m old.” You groan. Your back was killing you sitting on the floor for so long.

“God you sound like my dad.” Sofia laughs before lending you a hand to help you off the ground.

“Yeah yeah, you’ll be old one day and you’ll be saying the same phrases. Just you wait.” You joke before you two go downstairs to the kitchen.

As soon as you enter the kitchen you can smell the delicious aroma. You’re not sure what it is but you’re ready to eat whatever it is.

“Finally, you guys decide to come down.” Baekhyun has a towel thrown over his shoulder and an apron on over his cozy attire. He looks like a real dad about to barbecue something. You laugh to yourself, thinking he looks absolutely adorable.

“It smells great in here.” Sofia says taking a seat and patting a chair by her for you. You sit as well, watching Baekhyun place plates in front of both of you before sitting down with his own. You’re practically drooling over the sight of steak and vegetables. It smells so heavenly you could be full from the scent alone. You watch as Sofia cuts a piece off before eating it, her expression turns into a happy one and she wiggles in her chair. It’s funny how so many women do that dance when they eat, they’re so happy.

You turn to your plate before letting yourself enjoy Baekhyun’s cooking for the first time. Sofia wasn’t lying when she said he could cook. You wouldn’t mind being immobile if Baekhyun fed you like this everyday. You could feel eyes on you so you look up to see Baekhyun gazing while sipping his drink, presumably wine. You’re curious to why you only have water then, you raise a brow at him before glancing at your cup. Baekhyun shakes his head a grin on his lips.

“Are you drinking wine?” Sofia asks, Baekhyun shakes his head.

“Of course not, it’s just juice.”

“Yeah sure, we’ll see in 10 minutes how your juice treats you.” Sofia laughs, Baekhyun just smiles as he takes another sip, swishing the glass around.

“Y/n, do you drink?” He obviously knows you’ve had wine. You nod your head, “Yeah a little.” You would never drink hard liquor or any beer. You hated the taste of alcohol.

Baekhyun stands before grabbing the bottle off the counter and another glass, pouring a considerate amount of the wine into it. You clap your hands as he walks over to you with the glass, you accept it happily. Sofia raises an eyebrow at your giddiness for a drink and laughs.

“You look like some addict getting their fix.” She jokes, you roll your eyes. “Have you tried wine?”

“No..”

“Do you want to?”

“Hmm, sure.”

“Here,” You hold your glass up to Sofia’s lips holding your hand under her chin to catch any juice that falls. “How’s that?”

Sofia makes a face, crunching her nose up at the taste. You and Baekhyun both laugh loudly.

“I honestly thought you would like it.” You say between laughs.

“That is so disgusting how are you two drinking that?” She wipes her mouth before drinking her glass of water to get the taste out her mouth.

“It’s something you enjoy as you get older, or you just never drink. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Baekhyun reassures his daughter. You smile at his words, they were carefully chosen to comfort Sofia, alcohol isn’t some cool thing college kids need to do. He was smarter than you thought, it was actually charming.

“I’ll pass then, geez.” She fake gags.

You three ate in a comfortable silence before Sofia spoke up again, “I’m going to grandma and grandpa’s next week.”

“Yes, don’t worry i’ll still be here when you come back if that’s what you’re worried about.” Baekhyun jokes.

“I just know how you get when I’m gone for a long time.” Sofia says in a more quiet voice.

You feel like you’re intruding but you can’t do anything, you can’t suddenly leave the room.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine okay.”

“Fine but don’t face time me crying saying you miss me.” Sofia laughs, it almost makes you bust out laughing too. You cover your hand over your mouth.

“Yeah yeah, I was lonely okay I missed you, you were gone for two weeks instead of the one we agreed on.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair. “I was just having a good time.” Sofia giggles. “I love visiting the old people.”

You snort, “You can’t keep calling people older than you, old people.”

“Okay grandma.”

You pinch Sofia’s ear and she cries out frowning at you. “Fine.”

You let go and sip on your wine.

Baekhyun looks entertained by Sofia being teased for once, she was always known to tease others. Definitely gets it from her dad.

Diner was over and you all were watching scary movies in the living room. You could feel the effects of the wine taking over your mind, making it fuzzy and giving you that buzz you loved.

You could see Baekhyun looked unfazed as if he hadn’t drunk as much as you if not more.

Baekhyun was surprised to see you staring at him, Sofia had fallen asleep shortly after you guys started a third movie, her head resting on the arm of the couch. You smiled at Baekhyun, watching him smile back before tilting his head as to ask “what?”

You shrug, laughing to yourself.

He definitely could see you do not handle alcohol well. It was kind of cute to be honest, seeing your glazed over eyes and red cheeks. He couldn’t help but laugh to himself. You both needed to be put to bed, it was the weekend but Sofia had already fallen asleep and you were drunk.

Baekhyun picked up Sofia, carrying her to her room, before shutting off the lights and closing her door. You didn’t know Baekhyun was so strong.

“My turn!” You say reaching your hands out as Baekhyun returns. He raises a brow at your childish state. What a show.

“You need to go to sleep as well.”

“You need to go to sleep.” You copy him.

Baekhyun crosses his arms over his chest and you do the same, “Seriously.”

“Seriously.”

“Okay Y/n, let’s get you to bed.”

“No, no let’s drink some more you’re not even drunk yet.” Your words making Baekhyun shake his head.

“Well sweetheart, you’re very much drunk, I don’t think you should drink anymore. You might be sick.” He offers you a hand up.

You grab his hand and pull him down, he almost falls, catching himself with his hands leaning over you. You smile, and his heart beat increases. “You’re always so cute this close up.” You giggle.

“You seriously test me.” Baekhyun says in a low voice before he pulls you up and lifts you over his shoulder.

“Woah.” You say becoming dizzy, your view isn’t too bad, Baekhyun’s two cheeks in front of you. You pinch one and Baekhyun smacks yours in return.

“Stop that, Y/n.” He lays you down on the bed in the guests room, he turns to leave the room but before he turns the lights off he sees your sad expression.

“Please don’t leave.” You plead, Baekhyun can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.

“What’s wrong?” He walks closer, seeing that you’re crying.

“I don’t want to be alone in here.” You say while sniffing. The alcohol definitely brings out the sadness in you, you were a sad drunk from the start. It took Baekhyun by surprise. The main reason you never drink is because of that fact. You made a fool of yourself almost every time without fail.

“Y/n..” He says quietly, he can’t say no to your wet eyes and sulking figure. “Shit. Fine, okay… okay. Come here.” Baekhyun runs a hand through his hair before standing you up. You definitely do not have any sense of balance as you try to walk so Baekhyun basically picks you up, carrying you to his room downstairs.

“I’ll have to explain this to Sofia in the morning.” He groans before sitting you on his giant bed, filled with many pillows and a black cover. It smells like him, all of it. You smile closing your eyes, before curling up in the middle of the bed.

Baekhyun watches you, his hands on his hips, he’s defeated. The couch definitely wasn’t big enough for him to sleep on. He’d have to use the guest’s room. Baekhyun goes for the door handle but you catch him.

“Baekhyun, where are you going?”

Shit. Baekhyun cannot sleep with you, not now, not tonight when you’re intoxicated like this. He can’t sleep next to you with all this pent up tension building.

“Y/n, you know we can’t sleep in the same bed, Sofia is here. And you’re not sober.” Baekhyun watches as you frown, reaching out for him like a child.

“Please?”

Your words tear at his heart, he couldn’t resist when you asked so nicely.

“I don’t want to be by myself. I want a hug.”

“Okay, just this once. It cannot happen again with Sofia here.” Baekhyun slips off his house shoes, running a hand down his face tiredly. “You go to sleep first, i’ll make sure you’re safe.” Baekhyun says quietly, reassuring you.

You look up at Baekhyun, “Thank you.” Is all you say before your body is covered by a thick duvet.

Baekhyun lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep despite being tired. He turns his head to see you’ve fallen asleep quite fast. He observes your sleeping face, he can’t help but to admire how dreamy and peaceful you look. Your eyes closed and lips slightly parted, he smiled. He turned back to the ceiling before trying to shut his eyes to fall asleep again. He felt something cold touch his side and he held in a shriek, before realizing it was your hand. Baekhyun looked back over at you to see you were still asleep, your hand laying across Baekhyun’s waist, gripping his shirt. Baekhyun definitely was going to have a harder time falling asleep, he’s slept alone for so many years now, to have someone he admires in the same bed as him had become foreign. He hadn’t in so long.

Baekhyun sighs deeply.

“Go to sleep Baekhyun.” He hears you whisper, he looks over at you again to see your tired eyes looking back.

“How did you know I was awake?” He says, turning onto his side toward you.

“Your dad noises and your deep sighing is pretty loud.” Even in a moment like this you find something to joke about.

Baekhyun smiles before closing his eyes. “I’m always tired from over working myself, but right now I’m having the hardest time trying to sleep.”

“Why?”

“Because of you.”

You don’t know what to say, your fuzzy mind doesn’t think of a response. You scoot closer to Baekhyun, wrapping both arms around him this time. And soon you fall back asleep.

Baekhyun’s heart is beating out of control and he doesn’t know how you can’t seem to hear it. He hasn’t felt like this in a long time, the adrenaline of being closest to the person you like the most. He can only try to zone out and fall asleep.

You wake up because you’ve become too warm, your eyes open slightly before all the dreadful actions from last night play in your head. You groan, closing your eyes again. You felt something around your waist and you turn your head to see Baekhyun behind you. He’s entangled with your body, his arm around your waist and his forehead pressed against your back. You found it cute but at the same time noticing him so close to your gave you chills. He was the one providing you so much warmth. You were always quick to cool off after becoming so hot, but right now you didn’t want to move. You didn’t want to ruin this moment of Baekhyun’s breath against your back and hearing his light snoring. He was absolutely adorable.

You turned in Baekhyun’s arms without waking him, just admiring his sleeping face. He looked like a baby. Baekhyun moves again and he’s bringing your body closer to his. Your cheeks turns cherry red as his face in nudged between your chest. He was even naughty in his sleep, how could this be. You could see the top of his cute head, his fluffy black hair all messy from sleeping. You could only wonder what it would feel like. You hesitantly reached up and pet Baekhyun’s head, instantly earning a groan in return from the man. You froze, retreating your hand. But he didn’t move or wake up. You reached up to pet his hair once more, hearing the same noise emit from his chest. You found the noise pleasing so you continued petting Baekhyun. His warm breath blowing across your chest and his arm hands on your back was enough for you, but the added noises made it better. You feel Baekhyun’s hands travel further down until they reach your ass and you freeze your motions of petting his head. Baekhyun’s still so oblivious and asleep, he’s not doing this on purpose. You pull one of his hands back to your waist unable to retrieve his other hand.

Baekhyun is a surprisingly heavy sleeper, you feel like you could jump up and down on the bed and he would still be asleep.

“Baekhyun?” You whisper, no response. You grin, you could toy with Baekhyun all you wanted till he woke up. You pinch his cheek, wanting to know how they felt, pretty squishy. You trace the outline of his nose, your other hand playing in his hair. “So cute..” You say to yourself. Baekhyun was so oddly cute, for a grown man. Your hand gets tired playing with his hair so it falls onto the pillow, Baekhyun’s head falls back to rest on your arm, you can see his face again. The view makes you smile.

“Who told you to stop?” Baekhyun’s eyes slowly open to meet your shocked ones. “It felt so nice baby.” He moans softly.

“You were awake?” You pout, “Why would you do that, that’s actually embarrassing..” You have little energy to be angry at him.

“Because I wouldn’t have gotten this much special treatment. Honestly, I could’ve stayed like that forever.” Baekhyun smiles.

You use your hand behind his head to pull his hair, earning a groan from him. “You’re annoying.” You say before letting go of his hair.

Baekhyun frowns playfully, “Aww, do you want me to play with your hair instead and let you lay your head on my chest too.”

You hit Baekhyun on his chest at his teasing. “Ugh shut up! I get it!” You bury your head into the blanket, not wanting to be seen. Baekhyun ducks his head under the cover too, bringing your body closer to his.

“Y/n.”

“What-“

Baekhyun pulls you into a kiss, one that’s slow and short. His hand around your waist and the other holding you by the back of your neck. You sigh into the kiss, your temper melting from Baekhyun’s lips. He pulls back, biting your bottom lip.

“Don’t be shy now.” He says quietly, rubbing his thumb over the side of your neck. Even in the dark you can see his eyes. “I would have done the same thing, if I woke up to you as well.” He smiles.

You find yourself just staring in awe at how heavenly Baekhyun looks. In bed with a messy head of hair and sleepy eyes.

You’re the one that leans in to initiate another kiss. Baekhyun’s taken back by your action, his lips moving with yours. You grip Baekhyun’s shirt, bringing him impossibly closer until he’s practically on top on you. You’re tempting him as you wrap your legs around his middle as he’s in between your legs now. Baekhyun can have only so much patience before it runs out. You’re wrapping your arms around his neck as the kiss is becoming needy, more desperate to feel something. Baekhyun’s breathing is heavy, he’s not sure about restraining himself when he’s in such a position to have all of you right now if it wasn’t for your monthly.

“Y/n.” He says above you, “You know we can’t do what we both want to right now.” You look up to him with a frown, almost forgetting you were on your period.

“I know..” You whine, letting your arms fall from around his neck. Baekhyun makes a noise of disapproval, taking your arms and wrapping them around him again.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t just lay here with each other.” He grins down at you before laying between your legs, resting his head on your tummy. You smile, this was definitely a wholesome moment. Your hands find themselves in his hair again, and he’s sighing at the sensation.

“You’re so good at that.” He says closing his eyes.

“You’re just easy to please hm.” You joke. “What about Sofia…” You say remembering it was now morning.

“She left early to her grandparents.”

Your eyes widened, you were here in this mans bed-no-in this mans house alone with him.

God fucking damn you for having a period.

Taglist:

@blahblahblah-boo @bobohumyonlyboo @ncteaxhoe @dixnysustae @vsszn @sugamilkteaxkookiesxcream @bubutaeyongie @jennxx3 @to-all-the-stories-i-love

[miekasa]

AOT characters x their partner on social media is something I love thinking about omg. Eren is the number 1 menace, I swear, he likes keeping an aesthetic and he wants your face on his profile, and he wants to be in yours, and he will brainstorm for cool captions for you both 😭 Jean acts all shy, but that tall mf also lowkey feels the same way as Eren 😭. Mikasa is very relaxed and cute about it, she’s so effortless when it comes posting you on her feed, same with Sasha probably. Connie would post your funny faces 100% while Armin….blonde coconut I feel would be shy at first but is a fan of couple-y posts. Same with Erwin, and Erwin would add the cheesiest suburban dad captions like “my better half” or shit like “forever yours” 😭🥴😭 Hange is just all over, like they’ll be super unpredictable, from wildly funny to very touching stuff. Pick is just sweetness!! All around sweetness that can make you melt. Porco would be…actually I’m not sure, he seems like he’s in line with Eren and Jean 😭 Meanwhile, Levi would not care at all about social media announcements and “instagram official” and people outside his close circles find out about his partner on their tenth-year anniversary because they bumped into you both while you were out on a date 😭😭

No because you hit the nail on the head here anon!!

Eren and Connie are fiends and almost shameless in how much they want to be on your socials. If you do the thing where you record your food when you’re out to eat with Eren, he’ll interject into your video—“And me! She’s with me!! Show me!!” After some time—or if you tease him by purposefully leaving him out of the frame—he’ll just snatch your phone when you’re recording or taking pictures and makes sure to get himself with the front camera 😭😭 oh and you will be on his, it comes with the price of dating him, he loves posting videos that gradually zoom in on your face before you notice he’s recording.

Connie just photobombs everything. Even if just his eyebrows make in the frame, you better post it. He’s watching you. He loves taking funny selfies and posting them with absolutely no context, and videos too!! He reminds me of that TikTok of the guy who pans the camera to his gf laying in the grass is like, “We had a beach date, and, yeah I love her,” and pans the camera to his face, “I’m faster than her tho. We raced. But yeah, love her.”

Jean pretends like he doesn’t care if you don’t post him, but he cares 😭😭 he’s always willing to take a photo for you, but he wants to take them with you too!! He’ll not so subtly be like, “Hey, did you post those pics from the other day?” as a gentle “reminder,” and he’s honestly so cute you gotta give into him. He likes posting pics with you too, and claims he’s gotta keep it updated so he’s got something to show his mom—“She’ll think I’m making you up if I don’t have proof, babe.”

Armin gets nervous about posting you at first—the whole being publicly affectionate thing, plus the internet is forever, you know. But once he sees that he doesn’t necessarily have to post you guys holding hands or kissing all the time, he relaxes. Just a picture together, or a picture of you from one of your dates every once in a while is cool with him. He takes good candids and they’re his favorite to edit and make all pretty. He gets surprised whenever you post him, and he’s honestly not checking for it/on social media all that often, so he finds out through a friend like Sasha who’s bubbling, “Armin you guys are gonna make me jealous!! Your beach dates look so cute!!” And Armin’s a little confused, until she adds, “I saw the pictures on Insta!!” And now he’s slightly pink in the face.

Porco is… more likely than not recording you innocently vibing or minding your own business before he comes to bother you bye. He thinks your surprised face is so fucking funny and needs several video evidences of it. He gets grumpy when you get an off-guard of him, but just show it to him after and suddenly he’s like, “I look pretty good there, actually,” like yeah, dumbass, that was the point 🙄🙄 he posts his shit on Twitter tho, and is always acting like he doesn’t know you—“Girlfriend for sale, willing to trade for Breath of the Wild. At least $30 cash otherwise,” and thinks it’s funny when you threaten to block him. Or he’s subtweeting you when you CLEARLY follow him: “Anybody else know someone who falls asleep 30 mins into a drive?? No?? Just me??”

Erwin and his captions anon please I’m hollering. You know he uses the filters embedded into Instagram, too, and it makes some pics come out grainy/more dull. He comes questioning Hange with genuine curiosity, “How come your photos look so… bright? How do I do that?” Sir, open up VSCO and free yourself from the shackles of Sepia.

Levi could not care less about what and how much you post of him on social media, and his own is so scarcely updated; he really just has it so he’s not a complete ghost to the world, and to occasionally cure a fit of boredom. The pictures he posts are always nice tho, simple, cleanly edited and shot, and sometimes he’s not even in them. He doesn’t mind if you post him or not, but every once in a while he’ll stop by with a simple heart emoji in the comments. (To which Hange absolutely loses their shit every time and loves to joke about, “omgggggg are you and @leviackerman official???? 🤪🤪🤪)

Hange is the undisputed champion of photodumps and you cannot prove me wrong. Above all, they love posting a series of chaotic photos that tell a story—three slides dedicated to photos that caught you falling down; several photos back to back of you stuffing your face with food; frames of the both of you posing for a photo with the front timer but of course something made them topple over you. Their captions don’t help either, almost always unrelated from the disaster that just unfolded. Could have posted a photo dump of you two skipping (and falling) at the park and the caption is like “fun fact: a cockroach can survive up to five weeks with its head cut off!!” (The disconnect between the pics and captions always confuses Erwin. @e.smith: Very cool! But, what do roaches have to do with you guys looking like you broke your ankles? PS—is everybody okay?)

Mikasa is relaxed about posting you, and she lowkey really likes to be posted on your socials. She doesn’t say much about it, but she likes going back through your profile and looking and what you posted, and the comments from your guys’ friends being supportive. The pictures don’t necessarily spell out that you guys are Together, but that’s okay with her; she doesn’t need four pics of you guys kissing on her timeline to make her happy. She has lots of pictures she doesn’t post tho and you’d be shocked to find them, you gotta hype her up a bit to post them, “Mika you look hot here!!! The people need to see!!! Feed them!!!”

It comes naturally to Sasha, too. She likes documenting your dates with pictures and videos and has a blast editing them afterwards, too. Just AirDrop her the pictures you took and she’ll fix them up for both of you to post later. She’s a fan of silly matching captions and is always in your comments with a million emojis.

Pieck absolutely the sweetest girl. Her whole feed manages to naturally come out in soft filters and pastel colors. She always tells you she doesn’t have to edit a thing when you’re in the picture. Definitely posts photo dumps that include pics of food, sunrises, her cats, and a few off-guards of you thrown in there. Abuses the bugs and sparkly emojis in the captions.

Annie literally posts one pic a few months (by a few months, I mean like 11 months) into your relationship with the simple and upfront caption: “This is my girlfriend” and everyone is in the comments immediately bye. Berty is acting super surprised even tho he basically set you guys up, somehow Reiner genuinely didn’t know, and Sasha is clowning him for not catching on, and then he’s like “wait since when????? i thought they were just really good friends????” Mikasa comments a singular scissor emoji and it sends everyone into orbit, even Annie likes the comment.

[thewhizzyhead]

a non-filipino's guide to trese: ep 1

So some of my mutuals decided to check out Trese aka the Netflix adaptation of the Filipino horror comic book series that I keep rambling about here and then since well um most of my mutuals aren’t from the Philippines fshfs I decided to make a long-ass post that basically consists of me rambling about the cultural context present in Trese with fun little tidbits about Filipino folklore. I’m not an expert on Filipino mythology so um I just typed out the stuff that I know and the stuff that I looked up on Wikipedia so um take this with a grain of salt aaaaa I’ll save the extensive google scholar research ramble on folklore present in Trese for another day.

I’ll try to find the sites where I got some of the information from cause um yea I kinda had a bit of a hard time finding the other shit so um once again, take the stuff here with a grain of salt. Also, feel free to add more info if you guys got any!

SO ANYWAYS ENJOY ME RAMBLING ABOUT EPISODE 1 OF TRESE WOO

+ MRT and LRT (Manila Metro Rail Transit and Light Rail Transit) are train systems in NCR (the capital region) and yea them suddenly stopping and malfunctioning in the middle of the goddamn rail is a daily occurrence and we have been trying to deal with this bullshit for years but alas, corruption and negligence are sweet sweet drugs.

+ When the MRT broke down, you'd see a red bee in the flashing billboard right? Well that's Jollibee and that's probably the most well-known fast food restaurant chain here heck there are even branches of it abroad!

+ According to many youtube comments along with other social media posts that I am way too tired to link here, the opening theme is an Ifugao ethnic song called Balluha'd Bayyauhen but with modern accompaniments and I think the song is about a fruit called a balluha that the character in the song tries to it but cannot swallow. (someone please correct me if I’m wrong here fjkfs)

+ The first um monster that we see Alexandra interact with is the White Lady of Balete Drive. White Ladies or “Kaperosa” are a type of female ghosts typically dressed in ghostly white dresses or similar garments. According to legend, she died in a car accident while driving along Balete Drive (a two lane street formerly lined with Balete Trees which are said to be a home for spirits and mysterious creatures) in Quezon City while other accounts say she died waiting for the arrival of her lover; others also say that she was a teenage girl who was run over and killed by a taxi driver at night and then buried around a Balete tree while another variation of the tale claims that a student from the University of the Philippines was sexually assaulted and killed by a taxi driver nearby and so said ghost haunts the street in search of her murderer. There are many other variations but according to local rumor, the legend was fabricated by a reporter in 1953 in order to make an interesting story. What remains consistent in many variations is that apparently taxi drivers would be stopped by a beautiful lady asking for a ride and if one would look at the rear window, they would see that the white lady in question is bruised and drenched in blood.

+ There are a lot of mentions about "lakans" and stuff in reference to Alex and her father right? In precolonial times, the term is used to refer to the paramount ruler or the highest-ranking political authorities in Tagalog communities (so um NCR and some parts of Region 4). In Muslim communities, they are called sultans while communities with strong trade connecitons with Indonesia or Malaysia called them Rajah. Datu is umm the more generalized term though when it comes to discussing the leaders of the precolonial Filipinos.

+ So, Alex’s mom is a babaylan and back in the pre-colonial period, each barangay (which a native filipino term for a village or a district; said term is still used today to describe um divisions in municipalities like) had them and these are basically Philippine shamans and they specialized in communicating with the spirits of the dead. To my knowledge, the role of babaylan went to women and yea people assigned male at birth but then identified as female were also allowed to become babaylans and they would be treated with the same respect given to any woman back then (honestly I dunno much about lgbtq+ stuff back in the precolonial times but all I know is that precolonial Filipinos were much a lot more welcoming towards trans identities bUT THEN THE SPANIARDS CAME AND UM ERR RUINED THAT); also the writing Alexandra's mom did in that one scene with the dagger is in Baybayin - preHispanic Filipino script. I dunno what she wrote down though. .

+ Also I kinda find it funny that the people here esp those who were at the White Lady scene are um,,, not at all surprised? Like yea quite a number of filipinos have their own superstitions and beliefs and all that but um yea the people in Trese seem very used to the bullshit,,,which in retrospect, isn't at all inaccurate fsdfd I MEAN WE DEAL WITH UNSURMOUNTABLE AMOUNTS OF BS ON A DAILY BASIS SO I DON’T THINK DEAD GHOSTS WOULD EVEN FAZE MANY FSKJDS

+ The one that appears right before Alexandra talks with the duwende (the one in the manhole) is called Laman Lupa (which i guess translates to um "What is in the earth"? just um YEA THEY ARE DIRT CREATURES). normally this is an umbrella term for duwendes and nunos but in Trese they are servants of these aforementioned creatures.

+ Duwende (which came from the Spanish phrase "dueno de case" which means "owner of the house") or dwarves in Filipino folklore are known to be mischievous and magical environmental guardians. They are believed to reside in trees or under earth mounds (those that live in the latter are called nuno sa pundo or old man of the mount) which is why quite a lot of Filipinos say "tabi tabi po" or “excuse me” when wandering around a forest or earth mounds as a sign of respect and in the hopes the duwende won't torment them. If the person is friendly, the duwende can also be friendly in return and will bring that person good lucl; otherwise, those who destroy their homes by stepping on them will face their wrath in form of heartless curse and predictions of ominous and disastrous fates. A duwende's color also depends on their budhi or conscience: to my knowledge, white duwendes are kind, red ones give protection amulets, green ones are firnedly with children and the black ones give nothing but trouble.

+ Chocnut aka the snack Alex bribes the nuno with is a very yummy chocolate snack made of coconut milk, crushed peanuts and cocoa powder. They are umm about an inch in length and maybe half an inch in width so it's fairly small; that being said I WANT THE CHOCNUT THAT ALEXANDRA HAS CAUSE HOT DAMN THAT'S A BIG CHOCNUT

+ In Trese, the creatures in the MRT scene and in the warehouse Alexandra visits after she talks with the duwende are called "aswang". In Philippine folklore, it is an umbrella term for any kind of monster so um an aswang in Luzon would be very different from the aswang in Mindanao. According to what I saw on wikipedia, they can be classified in 5 categories: the vampire (self-explanatory um they drink blood), the viscera sucker (the manananggal, i'll get to that next time), the weredog (cats and pigs are also possible but um yea they target pregnant women), the witch (self-explanatory boom curses and stuff) and the ghoul (they gather near trees in cemeteries to feast on human corpses). Aswangs are often described to have a long, hollow tongue, sharp claws and sharp teeth, although they do also have human forms.

+ To my knowledge, Ibwa, the leader of the aswangs in the warehouse, is a creature from Tinguian or Itneg mythology (they, like the Ifugao, are an indigenous ethnic group in northwestern Luzon) though I could be wrong about this dksfsf Ibwa seems like an ethnic filipino term tho wah I can't remember where I once read that. But anyways, Ibwa often stalk sthe house of a dying person to steal its body. In order for the ibwa to NOT succeed in that, some people burn holes in the garments of the dead and put a sharp iron object on top of the grave since those are most powerful weapons against aswangs which is what Alexandra uses to subdue the Ibwa and kill all the other aswangs (the knife alex uses is named Sinag which means "ray of light".)

+ ALSO I AM SO SO GLAD THEY KEPT THE FILIPINO SWEARS IN THE ENGLISH DUB YES YES THIS IS A VERY GOOD JOB so lemme discuss the versatility of tangina-

+ Also umm Bossing is a nickname of Vic Sotto - one of the three pioneer hosts of Eat Bulaga! which is the longest running Philippine noontime variety show. Over time, most probably due to the show's popularity, the term "bossing" then became um slang for "boss" or "chief"

+ Translation of what Alex says when she's stirring the eye inside the cup: “In the eyes of others, secrets will reveal themselves.”

+ Sidenote: The English dub's pronunciation of many of the tagalog lines are um yea they r pretty good but they could use a bit of work but then again I'm really not that good in speaking in Tagalog so who am I to judge gkdkf sorry po guys conyo po ako-

+ Maria Makiling is arguably the most famous of all the diwatas (ancestral spirits, nature spirits, or deities) in Philippine Mythology; she is associated with Mount Makiling in Laguna as the guardian spirit of the mountain. Mount Makiling is said to resemble a profile of a woman and people associate the profile with Maria herself. She is also known as a goddess by the name of Dayang Masalanta and people would pray to her for safety and to stop storms and earthquakes. That's the goddess Alexandra's mother mentions right when she tells Alex to hide. (Translation to what she said there: Maria Makiling, goddess of the mountain, bless us.)

+ ALSO YEA THAT MAYOR IN THE MRT STATION IS UMMM RATHER REMINISCENT OF MAAAANY POLITICIANS AND PUBLIC SERVANTS HERE LIKE BELIEVE ME I CAN THINK OF SO MANY NAMES RN. THEY WOULD FLAUNT THEIR MACHISMO AND PROMISE THAT THEY THEMSELVES SHALL PUNISH THE PERPETRATORS HARSHLY BUT IN THE END THEY DONT MEAN SHIT AND ARE IN OFFICE TO SERVE ONLY THEMSELVES AND TO SHIT ON THE REST ESP THOSE OF THE POORER SECTORS AND *NOTHING IS DONE ABOUT IT*. WE LIVE IN HELL OKAY. also hmm how the police are represented here is umm,,,interesting,,, like i know there are sOME good police officers like the ones alexandra assists but like,,,our current sociopolitical climate + the many cases showcasing the corruption in the police force + tHE SHEER AMOUNT OF POLICE BRUTALITY HERE would ummm beg to differ. but um anyways-

+ Also Mang Inasal posters can be seen in the MRT station backdrops and um it’s a very famous restaurant chain here and they serve lots of barbecue and other filipino stuffs and i miss them a lot God their halo halo is very yummy

+ Santelmo - oki so this is the fire face thingy that Alexandra summons inside the ruined train. This is the shortened version of the term "Apoy ni Santa Elmo" or "St. Elmo's Fire" - this is a weather phenomenon wherein plasma is created from an electrical discharge from a rod like object in an atmospheric electric field. This phenomenon was used to warn of imminent lightning strikes or storms (there is a chapter in Noli Me Tangere where Pilosopo Tasyo talks about that bUT I'LL SAVE THE NOLI ME TANGERE RAMBLES FOR ANOTHER DAY). But according to Philippine folklore, santelmos - which are said to be souls of people lost as sea - are balls of fire that appear where accidents or big arguments happen. In Trese, santelmos (alex's santelmo being "The Great Spirit of the Binondo Fire") can be called to assist in supernatural investigations

+ Translation of what Alex says when she draws the circles to meet with the purple ghosts: "Souls, where are you off to? I'll be entering too, so please open the door."

+ Remember the scene at the train with all the purple ghosts and the woman in a veil? Yea the woman is an emissary of a goddess named Ibu and she is the Manobo (again, another indigenous ethnic group but this time they're from Mindanao; fun fact we have around 134 ethnic groups) goddess of deceased mortals and the queen of the underworld; she also serves as a psychopomp and guides the newly deceased souls to the other side (having an MRT be the ride to the underworld isn’t in the legends tho so fkkjsf)

+ The aswang in the top hat is called Xa Mul and according to the Isneg/Apayao people (yay another ethnic group but this time in northern Luzon - the Cordillera regions to be specific), they are an evil spirit known to swallow people whole.

+ Alex has two henchmen right? Yea they are named Crispin and Basillio and No I still don’t know who’s who and I'm really sorry about that fsfjs so anyways the names Crispin and Basillio are actually those of two brothers featured in the Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo novels (Crispin is younger and Basilio is older) which are basically the national novels here cause um yea written by national hero Jose Rizal as sociopolitical commentary about the Spanish regime here. I don't know if I want to spoil this cause I kinda want other people to read the novel too fskfs BUT ALL IN ALL, ONE OF THEM DIES IN LIKE THE 10TH OR 11TH CHAPTER OF NOLI ME TANGERE (and the novel has 64 chapters btw) AND UM YEA-

+ OKI SO TO ADD MORE CONTEXT TO THE SQUATTER STUFFS MENTIONED IN TRESE (we r gonna use the tiny font here because holy shit this rant is long): So,in the Philippines, especially in the capital region, there are lots of slum areas called squatters. These are dense urban settlements made of compact makeshift housing units that aren't really officially recognized by the government. This is um very reflective of the poverty situation here and there are maaany factors that come into play here and if i were to go into depth about this topic, that rant would probably turn into an academic paper so for the sake of brevity, let's just say that Things Are Fucked Up Here. Oftentimes the poorer sectors are being ignored and left to their own devices despite tons of campaign promises to make things better and easier for them. The communities that live here are incredibly vulnerable to floods, fires, and the like and afaik no concrete solutions have been in effect to protect these people and their settlements. There have also been many times where squatter areas are dismantled or demolished despite protests of people living in those areas and yea I understand the need to make space and the need for renovation but the people should still be offered some sort of temporary settlement or financial compensation thingy that doESN'T fuck them over but alas, we have an anti-poor government. That being said, I really like Trese Ep 1's portrayal of governmental negligence, but I also have some thoughts, especially in regards to the mayor being arrested THAT FAST which um believe me, NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS BECAUSE MANY MAYORS AND A LOT OF POLITICIANS HAVE THE POLICE IN THEIR POCKETS SO UM ERR YEA JUSTICE IS RARELY A THING HERE BUT UM ANYWAYS YEA THE GOVERNMENT LIKES TO SHIT ON THE POOR WOO LET'S SAVE THE USE OF SOCIOLOGICAL LENS ON THIS MATTER FOR ANOTHER DAY

+ The news channel reporting the arrest of the mayor is ABC-ZNN WHICH IS AN OBVIOUS REFERENCE TO ABSCBN aka the top media conglomerate here (that has been fucked over by the government so many times to the point that they had to shut down operations last year which is all sorts of unfair so seeing them being referenced here kinda made me happy gksfks)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

grab it hard | th x fem!reader

credits gif by @tomhollandd

Summary: What could go wrong when Tom decide to post a video on his Instragram story? Pretty much everything. And now, one single thought runs into your head: taking advantage of it fully.

Warnings:  SMUT including unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), reader having a dom moment, dirty talk/language, a lot of grabbing, muscles appreciation (or general muscle kink i guess)

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: okay well- let’s say that tom’s IG story... brought the worst in us all and by that i mean we may have lost our sanity as our hormones took complete control of ourselves 😂 *cough* damn that brit boy and his attractive body 🥵🥵🥵 *cough* ANYWAY! my dear @thollandss​ got the idea yesterday and well, I said I would write it so here it is! enjoy, dear sinful beauts 😏🙊🔥

masterlist | tag list

The evening is going quite slowly compared to the rest of the day. Everyone in the house has been up to something, such as Tom and Harry going to the nearest park to play with Tessa, Harrison visiting his mum and sister Charlotte and Tuwaine out to buy some groceries.

And here you are now laying on the couch in the living room, watching whatever Netflix has suggested you and by yourself. The boys are in the house too, but doing their own things.

But out of nowhere, your ears catch a weird noise coming from the back of the house. At first, you don’t pay too much attention to it and go back to lazily stare at the tv. But then it starts again, going for a bit longer. Intrigued, you mute the tv and listen carefully to identify the origin of this sound. 

And a smirk makes its way to your face. As you quietly stand from the couch, you walk to the hallway that leads to the different bedrooms, and wait at the entrance of it. And listen. What you at first thought were “noises” seem to be groans and breathing, and all coming from Tom’s bedroom.

Someone’s horny, uh?

After only three minutes, silence comes back so you decide to go sit again on the couch, acting like nothing happened, and tease the hell out of your boyfriend once he will exist his bedroom. 

Back in the comfort of the couch, your phone dings as you see an Instagram’s notification on the screen. But when you open it, your jaw just drops while staring at the screen: your boyfriend half shirtless crouching against the wall, panting and groaning so loudly your brain makes a flip. 

What is that ten seconds videos, out of nowhere, and without any context to it?! Your face is now a deep red and you feel drops of sweat forming everywhere on your body, pressing your thighs together to get some relieve. So many obscene thoughts come through your mind and you can’t stop them at all, not after watching this much display of... everything your boyfriend has. 

Guess you are the horny one now.

* * * *

At some point Harrison, Harry and Tuwaine enter in the living room, chatting vividly as they make their way to the kitchen. Tom soon follows them as his friends laugh at him, the boy grumbling at his phone.

You are still on the couch and just listen, not making a single sound.

“Mate, you’re definitely sooooooo bad with Instagram!” Harrison laughs while opening the fridge.

“I bet ya he broke the entire app!” Tuwaine soon follows, thanking Harrison as he takes a bottle of beer.

“Oh come on, now” growls Tom, “This app is so weird, ‘not my fault it doesn’t upload normally!”

“Yeah right, as if” Harry mumbles, trying to not laugh at his older brother.

The conversation goes on for a bit when Tom finally notices you on the couch. So the boy takes this opportunity to walk towards you, leaving his friends making fun of him even more.

“Hi babe” Tom says behind you, bending slightly to kiss your temple, “Want something to drink? ‘m gonna cook soon if you wanna join.”

“I’m waiting a little bit” you simply reply, not daring to look at him.

Tom nods and leaves another kiss on your cheek before joining the boys again, all of them standing around the kitchen island while drinking and munching some snacks. Later they all disappear in their bedroom again, ready to play some “Warzone” or whatever that thing is.

You slowly turn your head towards the kitchen and notice Tom by himself, looking inside the fridge while drinking his beer. You recognise the shirt and shorts from the video, these clothes tight on every muscle of his body.

Taking a deep breath, you stand up and causally walk and sit on one of the high chairs around the kitchen island. Your eyes gladly run along Tom’s back and lower, appreciating every single one as they tense and relax when your boyfriend moves. You feel hot again, eyes full of want and so much more. Your head leans on one hand as you start thinking, quick and fast, while Tom puts some vegetables on the counter to cook them.

Now determined, you stand again and slowly walk towards Tom, now standing behind him as he still doesn’t notice you. And out of nowhere, you shamelessly slap both hands on his ass, snatching a high squeal from him before firmly grabbing his butt cheeks and making him whimper.

“So pretty boy, enjoyed showing off and being all grunting for the internet?” you mewl in his ear, your chest pressing against his muscled back. 

Tom whimpers again, feeling your nails through the fabric of his shorts and pressing onto the skin. You run your lips on his nape, your teeth slightly brushing the thin skin there.

“This ass here is mine, you know that right? Like all your body is” you now grunt smoothly and biting into his lobe. You press against Tom’s frame more, your hips perfectly flat onto his ass while you keep massaging it.

Tom tightens his grip on the counter, his breathing getting louder as he feels his shorts being too tight against his cock.

“F-fuck (Y/N), wait-”

You interrupt him by sliding one hand to his front, first appreciating his abs throughout the shirt and slowly going lower to rest on his growing bulge. Now Tom doesn’t retain his groaning anymore and grabs your hand to press it harder against his cock.

“You horny pretty girl, you’d be the death of me” Toms breaths out, stretching his head behind to make contact with your face.

“I swear you better fuck me hard right now before I fucking lose it, Thomas.”

And that was what Tom needed. In no time the boy turns around to face you, now his broad body towering over yours and with eyes that could tear off your clothes off in a second. Almost savagely Tom smashes his lips on yours, the kiss being mainly tongue and teeth as his arms lift you up. You instantly wrap your legs around his waist and arms around his neck, your fingers messing with his hair and scratching his scalp. Your clothed core brushes over his hard on, making you moan in his mouth but still grind more against it.

“Fuck me, Tom, now!” you whine almost desperately.

“I’m gonna destroy you, ‘gonna make ya scream my name so loud you’ll forget yours for weeks, baby girl” Tom groans, tugging your bottom lip with his teeth before sucking it. 

With his ounce of composure left - to not take you right on top of the counter -, Tom starts walking towards his bedroom while he still appreciates your thighs with his strong hands. Both of you are just moaning messes by now, not even caring about walking past the other boys’ bedrooms.

Once in Tom’s bedroom, he simply slams it shut with his foot before also slamming you onto it. The kisses are getting more sloppier, saliva making its way in the corner of your mouth and just licking it back as you kiss again. Your hands cup Tom’s face, slightly pressing your nails onto his cheek to wrest beautiful whimpers out of him. 

But when you suddenly detach from him, Tom nearly moans and desperately moves his hips back and forth against yours. Getting too hot you hurry and take your hoodie off, throwing it somewhere in the room. And Tom can’t help but drink into this gorgeous view of you in a lace bra, all flushed and panting with need and desire.

Licking his lips, Tom almost runs to his bed and throws you on top of the mattress. Not losing another second, he undresses himself in a time record, his clothes soon joining yours on the floor but then, he catches your gaze and smirks.

“Enjoying the view, gorgeous?” he cheekily asks, perfectly knowing the answer already. 

As he stands in his boxer, you eye up his almost exposed body and how much you want to touch, kiss, lick and bite any inch of it. Tom never really liked the build he got for ‘Far From Home’, saying he looked way too buff for his heigh. And ironically, he had to go back in this shape for ‘Uncharted’ and you never felt this pleased.

“Can’t help it, your groaning are arousing as fuck. And...” you soothe, seductively biting your bottom lip. You run your hands over your body before sliding off your shorts slowly along your legs, leaving you in your underwear, on total display for his coffee eyes. “... I love it when you’re being vocal.’

“Fuckin’ shit, you’re gonna get it hard (Y/N)...”

True to his words, Tom growls as he joins you on the bed, his body in between your legs and his upper body caging you with his arms on both side your head. He aggressively goes back at kissing you, his hands petting over the plush curvature of your breast before he gets rid of the bra. He doesn’t lose time by soon taking off your lace panties, almost ripping them up with his strength. As excited as him, your thighs press more around his waist, bringing him closer against you while you try to push his boxer off.

Now both equally naked, Tom presses himself more onto you, chest to chest and his hard cock rubbing against your wet core, the feeling tearing a moan out of him. Having him at your mercy, your hands wander on his back muscles, tracing them with your fingers as if remembering them by heart is your final goal. You also worship his biceps, strong and hard as you squeeze them at times, his broad shoulders and beautiful neck, that you soon attack both with hickeys and nibbles.

Heavy breathing and groaning submerge the entire room,Tom’s one being way louder than yours. And him being at his limits, he grabs your hips firmly before sliding his girth deep between your tight folds. You both moan sharply into each other’s mouth, feeling his saliva pool at the back of your throat as he gives you a passionate and rough french kiss. Both of his hands squeeze at your warm hips before gripping your skin tightly as he starts a very deep and incredible pace.

Instantly you cling to his skin which is a combination of warm, smooth and sweaty. An intoxicatingly sweet aroma wafting into your nose that makes him all the more addicting. Even the thrust of his hips slapping against your own send desire filled tingles all over your body, the incredible sway of heat singeing off your skin.

“Oh m-my God, T-Tom!” you moan completely unhinged all of your praise directly into the rim of his ear, before biting and nibbling it. He growls from the incredibly grip your folds has on his cock, driving him insane with desire to fuck you as hard and deep as possible.

"O-oh fuck, you're completely soaking my cock already..." Tom rasps, hot and heavy lascivious words about how wet your pussy is making his cock. Telling you in naughty detail how it was making it easier for him to slide back and forth, and even the pulse of your folds against his manhood telling him just how close you are.

Both of your hands grip at his back tightly, digging your nails into the skin and leaving him a few feint scratches, trembling from the overwhelming build of pleasure as he presses against all the right pleasure zones inside your body. And as your nails slide along his back, you take advantage of it and slam the palm of your hands on his butt cheeks with all your might. 

This sudden move wrests the loudest whine from Tom’s lips, being breathless for at least two seconds because of the impact. You feel his cock throb between your walls, making you clench against him as you are overwhelmed by so many sensations.  

“C-Come on Tom, I w-wanna hear you more baby!” you gasp, pressing your nose against the skin of his neck when he starts hitting that overwhelming pleasure zone inside your body again.

And Tom can only comply to your demand, letting more erotic sounds leave his mouth. Both of his rough hands slide from your hips to the bottom of your ass, where he now copies your moves to push and pull your body to meet with his deep thrusts. 

From the way your body shakes and twitches you are close, making him pound into your core faster and deeper till he finally feels the warm sensation of your arousal coating his cock and dripping down his thighs. Tom moans against your lips while he continues to thrust sloshing your juices, until he abruptly pull away warming a bit of your stomach and inner thighs with his arousal.

Out of stamina, Tom let himself falls on top of you, out of breath but mostly swimming into a pure state of bliss. While watching you try to steady the heavy breathing and pound of your heart, his glazed eyes find yours before meeting your lips in a sloppy but lazy kiss.

“From now on, those type of videos are only for me. Not for the Internet, understand?” you mumble into the kiss, your hands still wandering on top of his ass, massaging it.

“Can’t promise you anything, darlin’...”

🏷 Permanent tag list & mutuals 💖 (get notified)

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[incorrectdmp]

DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 9 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

okay so like. i’m GENUINELY sorry that i haven’t been updating this blog a lot outside of ooc spoilers. genuinely my sense of time rn is so messed up that i think i’m updating it semi-frequently then realize i only did one round of quotes before a new episode drops lol. didn’t even do anything for last episode my sense of time is just utterly fucked. so sorry hahaha i can’t promise i’ll try to remember things but. i still love this blog i’m just drifting outside of space and time atm

spoilers ahead as normal but honestly this episode was so chill and vibin you could PROBABLY read this update without watching and wouldn’t be majorly spoiled for much. ngl this is one of my fav ooc spoilers because not much super intense happened so i was able to capture most of the shenanigans through memes

-charlie, probably (made by pip for space game. Saved it in advance knowing it was spoilers for this episode lol)

I’m pretty sure tasting the colour pink is just peptol bismol

Charlie has reached a new low 2 episodes after the pizza image, somehow

“Despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage” -thorin

Alex’s nickname on the fanserver sure is real awkward now

Charlie is a weeb. next up, the sky is blue

I mean. If YOU gained god powers don’t tell me you WOULDN’T watch every anime in existence

The biggest tonal dissonance between the art and the music i’ve ever seen

-art by cam

Cant believe zephi is cg’s friend from work

NO TEARS. ONLY YOGA

My therapist: calm voice CG isn’t real he can’t hurt you. Calm voice CG:

Even the void is not immune to capitalism

COMPETITIVE YOGA

GAY PANIC TIME, THE FRIEND FROM WORK HAS ARRIVED

Vinny is phoenix wright 

Junior is denied playing with dogs by virtue of not being in the show. Shame.

Thorin being left alone with zephi, this could only end well. Just look how minerva ended up!

Vinny straight up admits he’s willing to kill a dog

“Ezra, yay or nay about val’s area” 

Miss Charlie steal yo girl

“I fucked your girl shitlips” -charlie, probably

Maybe ONE day the space jam scenario will see the light of day

Welcome to FUCK IT

The local mall cryptid returns at last

Two legends make a triumphant return: junior no last name and the gazebo

Junior nolastname can legally swear

Chuck. 

How dare you make me sad over one piece jokes

Just Starbucks

After months of CG and grace being the best goddamn dynamic in the show despite it being ENTIRELY noncanon they GET TO FUCKING INTERACT IN THE SHOW

Alex’s hyena laugh my beloved

Paul blart flesh mall

Do not investigate the meat

Yugo wasn’t dead, he was just put in gay baby jail for a nap

-cam

ALEX BE DROPPIN HOT BARS THO

Tommathan 

Hailey gets struck by the apollo ball

Yknow. A proposal. As a friend. She put a ring on it. As a friend. 

Tommy and angalena h*ld h*nds

Sometimes ur just so depressed you dont realize ur girlfriend proposed to you in a romantic way

Perhaps, just once, the girls will not be fighting

TACTICAL STEALTH EZRA

“It’s like i’m a WEBSERIES CHARACTER” -hailey looks directly at the camera

DAD TIME

Dads havin a good dad talk. I’m just vibin to this music

“The surrealism of it made me nearly scream”

Daily reminder that percy blackwood punched a kid at sunday school

Things gettin spicy in this mattress store ;)

Val averts thine eyes, at the disappointment of the fans

TOES TIME

Kingdom hearts called, it wants its belts back

Dmp would be instantly solved if junior hadnt been demoted to mall cryptid. Bitch been on screen for like 5 minutes and he’s goin full cinemasins on CG’s ass

Jesus canon to dmp

Junior decided to test god, he fucks around and finds out

CG throwing a temper tantrum and ripping apart his dolls like an angy 5 year old

(bitch), CG edition

THAT’S IT YOU’RE GOING TO SPENCERS

Eternal gazebo time

HOLY SHIT???? People go to malls to SHOP???

oh wow! [eldritch screeching] my favourite pokemon!!!

HAIR SWOOSH GANG

Oh noooooooo my two favs are talking whatever will i dooooooooooo

Yall are really just gonna shove doc’s corpse into a pretzel box huh

Charlie just progresses more and more into being comically small and sad

Rip the mall announcer, lost to the parking lot. We barely knew you

Charlie is a basic bitch, we been knew

Yeahhhh no cg sure as hell aint human. No human being would reasonably wear THAT

[ask-2p-hetaliaaa]

What would the 2ps do as youtubers?

2ps as youtubers:

Allen: Would be one of those fake ghost hunters that makes it onto Nuke's Top 5s.

"GUYS, GUYS, OHHH MYYY GODDD GUYYSSS,..... I THINK THAT WAS THE GHOOOSSTTT?? *pans to matt in a white sheet*"

Matt: Would upload funny out-of-context 5 second clips of his friends every 7 months. Gained popularity as a "top ironic humor figure"

Francois: His whole gimmick is staring into the camera for minutes on end without talking. People use him in reaction memes.

Oliver: Makes cooking videos, but in the style of Ted Nivision and twomad thanks to Allen's help with editing. Sometimes he swears in his videos, and when he does, his loyal following goes INSANE in the comments

Viktor: Makes audiobooks that peoples use as asmr to sleep. People who like Russian accents often flock to his videos as well

Xiao: Makes weed and vape reviews and 'hot boxes'; he collabs with matty smokes.

"WE'RE ABOUT TO HIT A FUCKIN OVER 9000 UHHHH DECIMIBITEABLES PUFF *coughing and gagging in mandarin*"

Luciano: Makes reviews of movies and games that have mafias and gangs. Is absolutely brutal in these critiques.

Flavio: Does makeup tutorials, fashion showcases, shopping vlogs, etc. Would basically be like the Lunch Club if it were full of drag queens

Lutz: Makes really obnoxious yet entertaining vlogs doing stupid shit around his country. Says offensive shit in a joking way that everyone is fine with. Has probably held illegal meetups in a mcdonalds

Kuro: "extreme japanese apoligizing" - makes videos along the lines of that, basically clowning on his own culture. occasionally makes anime reviews.

Gillen: Makes gaming videos out of his twitch streams. Sometimes Roland will just be walking in the background and go "Hi!!" and the chat will not shut up about him for next 2 minutes

Roland: He's like Sam O Nella Academy but Austrian- He'll mainly make parody videos of ww1 and ww2 because we all know the funny ww1 and 2 austria jokes. Since he can play guitar, he adds bits inspired by bill wurtz that are just jingles, ends up being used in memes

Andres: Uploads pirated, obscure Spanish music with blank descriptions and no other context

Egil: twomad videos, basically. everything he posts feels like adhd personified, at random points the video will go 200x speed and back to normal its chaotic

Loki: Is a prank channel, but actually funny because his pranks are "lets set shit on fire until the police get involved"

Denmark: His gimmick is making fun of Francois and trying to beat him in subscribers, but Francois doesn't even know he has a channel. People meme in a bad way like "look at this dumbass"

Bernard: Makes commentary videos like Memeulous and James Marriott, has an ongoing joke of making fun of the 1ps (in a friendly way). at random points a picture of Berwald will pop up with the vine boom sound effect

Thurston: Screams into his camera about things that make him mad, a bunch of teenage girls stan him because they think he's hot and relatable. He then made a video screaming about how much he hates his fanbase, which didn't help at all. It only attracted Bernard's fans who clowned on him

Hermes: Makes videos explaining the lore of Greek Mythology, in a girl-talk sort of way. He tried making true crime videos but kept putting his opinions in which nearly got him canceled.

Caligula: Too old to use youtube. Only has an account to like Luciano's videos.

Germania: Also too old to use youtube. But he does comment on the germanic countries videos with things like "LETS FUCKING GOOO"; has become the Justin Y. of 2p comment sections

Leonas and Franciszek: Have a couples channel that people HATE because they act so fake that it's dreadfully annoying. Has had videos made about them by Bernard, Lutz and Flavio

Anastasia: Makes videos about self-care for both men and women, similar to channels like Sexplanations. Also makes videos teaching young adults to cook simple meals, how to do unique hairstyles using wigs of different lengths and textures, how to have a clean house (making beds, doing laundry, organizing cabinets and fridges), etc. Has a large following of people who genuinely appreciate her work and motivation

Katya: Uploads vertical phone videos of her at casinos drinking champagne, playing darts, winning slot machines, etc

Egor: Similar to SomeOrdinaryGamers. Browses the deep web on his AmogOS system he made.

Raimonds: Viktor doesn't allow him to have a youtube channel

Paul: Takes videos of him rolling down hills and making fun of people at his school. Luckily doesn't gain much traction because people would definitely cyber bully him. Most of the adult 2ps have an agreement to not mention him in their videos lest their followers go after him

Wy: Takes behind the scenes videos of Oliver's videos; Her following is basically just Oliver's following who think she's his daughter (she's not) (This rumor caused a huge scandal within the Ollie simping twitter community)

Romeo: Doesn't have youtube, has TikTok and makes shitty e-boy thirst traps and POVs. Bernard wears his merch as satire in his videos.

[trylobite]

ok so i was tagged by @tantamount-treason to do this lil thing??? and ive been blessed w a bunch of new besties lately and im bored <3

1. vulnerability is..

i think most people see vulnerability as a weakness because thats what the media has always portrayed it as, but its really a strength in my opinion. being afraid of vulnerability can be so isolating and prevent us from forming solid, intimate relationships with people. learning how to be vulnerable and embracing vulnerability is learning how to understand ur emotions and how to project them in a way thats authentic. it sounds like bullshit but i swear once u realize being vulnerable is actively choosing to be open and honest about ur emotions ur life can get so much easier

2. you’re called to do something brave, but your fear is real and stuck in your throat. what is the first thing you do?

honestly…. doing something brave… being the overthinker i am that wording is leading me to believe that something perilous is involved and i just dont do well under pressure so probably i would cry and panic :) and do like a cute quick little pros and cons list idk this feels like a very time sensitive thing and thats just not my strong suit

3. what is something people often get wrong about you?

that im super confident and social and that i can easily talk to anyone. while i understand why people think this way, im actually only talkative because im nervous and dont like uncomfortable silence so im overcompensating by making pointless and fast paced conversation.

4. whats the last show you binged and loved?

maybe the good place or big little lies! i rewatched them both recently and theyre just literally perfect shows idk

5. give us a film you really love!!!

AHHH i have so many wtf um…i really enjoy the 2018 smash hit box office ball buster “ophelia” with rey from star wars (ms. daisy ridley) its just so good and it was all i could think of at the moment but i have so many movies that id die for and love so much so i dont think its fair to rank them

6. a concert you’ll never forget?

i went to atlive last november to see cage the elephant and greta van fleet but metallica was headlining. i assumed the metallica fans would be kind and caring but these specific fans were the exact opposite and ruined the experience for me sadly and ill never forget it since it was my first time seeing cage and theyre my favorite band in the universe :/// but thankfully i did get to see their performance as well as gretas and they both did awesome!!

7. whats ur favorite meal ?

bro i couldnt even tell you… some soup or bread idk hot girl meals u kno the drill

8. whats on ur nightstand right now?

ok so context. my nightstand is a three tier corner shelf so i put like my drinks n shit on there sometimes and like my rings but its mostly for decoration so right now on the top shelf we have 2 edward scissorhand funko pops and a fishtank cool tree decoration and an incense burner that looks like a japanese tower thing? and also a dobby figurine, then the next shelf down we have a shelf dedicated to frog memorabilia and has a salt lamp on it and then the next shelf down has some stuffies and books and a sketchpad!!

9. give us a snapshot of an ordinary moment in your life that brings you great joy.

this is hard bc i think i dont take the time to actually reflect on all the small simple things that bring me joy very often but recently ive started coloring in childrens coloring books (not the adult coloring books those r too elaborate) and that brings me so much joy. showering and being in the shower also brings me so much joy and peace i just feel so cut off from the world in the shower its nice :’)

10. what is one thing you’re deeply grateful for right now?

my cat! her name is newspaper but also bestie. like newspaper is her official name but i literally only call her bestie and she likes it. also my frog willie nelson i love him so much and i hope he lives forever and is immortal and rules the world. i also am thankful for books for being a place for me to run to when i feel really bad bc thats been happening kinda alot recently. OH and ofc for all my new pals as well as my old jackass pals aka my bff, boyfriend, husband, and life coach johnny knoxville aka pj clapp my angel <3

literally if anyone read all of these shit ramblings i will give u a big ole kiss on the cheek with consent bc thats fucking crazy and most of it was probably illegible so thank u

i dont really like tagging other ppl in these things bc it feels like a call out but ill do it anyways bc i wanna hear what u r gonna say <3 @viva-la-jackass1 @count-ravioli

[m-y-fandoms]

Blood on Our Stage - Vampire Nagito Komaeda x Human Female Reader -Part 1 (Slight/Platonic Female Reader x Hajime Hinata)

So, this is an old fic I updated to fit these characters because I want to continue it :)

NEEDED CONTEXT FOR THIS AU: Hajime and Nagito are step brothers, (Y/N)/Reader is a human, Hajime and Nagito are vampires, and Hajime did indeed get into the Main Course at Hope’s Peak, for acting.

The paycheck… It's all about the paycheck...

   You took a deep breath, reassuring yourself for what seemed like the hundredth time that year… or that hour.

Smile, s-smile. Breathe, lean into him. It has to look real, (Y/N). God… it’s a whole new level of crackhead when you stutter to yourself in your thoughts.

 Dissociate. 

What are we having for dinner? How many more steps ‘til that damn egg hatches? If it’s another fucking Diglett I swear I’ll go apeshit. 

You shifted to your right, the most forced of grins creeping onto your cosmetic-plastered face. You let your head fall onto Hajime’s shoulder. Convincing right? Touching is convincing. Random gentle displays of affection are convincing... 

By this time, you were nearly blind from the flash of some fifty or so cameras in your face, anyway, so why not just pretend that the photographers and press were blind as well?

  Why not, why not?

 You pretended in every other aspect of your life.

"Isn't that right, (Y/N)?" Hajime’s voice shook you out of your trance, and you turned your head, letting go of his arm, which you had grabbed out of habit. His sparklingly white teeth - sharper than the average man's - gleamed down at you, and you felt that usual pang of fear run down your spine and chill your bones. Even attached to the gums of the sweetest boy on earth, you’d never get used to the sight.

It's all a show, (Y/N), a game. Pretend. "Fangs for the fans, and all that" 

How long would that farce last until people started to realize?

  What had Hajime said earlier that month? You retreated into yourself, thinking deeply, trying desperately to calm the anxiety that rose with at the sight of his flesh-tearing canines...

   _______________________________________________________________

"I can bare my fangs at interviews, photoshoots… you know, when the paparazzi are around. It’s what my dad wants,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Don't worry about it, (Y/N). Honestly, you freak out over the silliest things sometimes.” He ruffled your hair. “It will look like I'm dedicated to the role, or something like that… whatever. People will love it, trust me."

      ___________________________________________________________

But you never could. How could you? A monster with a secret, stupidly displaying that secret openly to the world? No… trusting meant removing little stones from that carefully built wall, which sub-sequentially meant getting hurt, and not just emotionally. You recited this mantra to yourself almost routinely; something you’d picked up from someone very close to your heart. Isn’t it funny how we steal little bits of personality from those we love most?

You knew Hajime just followed whatever his father commanded, that he’d do anything to feel like he mattered, that people cared. He’d done all this: the acting lessons, depending on daddy’s money, the unless studying and promoting himself, just to get into that stupid school and kickstart his illustrious career.

"Isn't that right, (Y/N)??" Hajime tenderly brought his hand up, stroking your shoulder awkwardly. The clench in his jaw, however, wasn't friendly at all. You couldn’t really blame him, though. He was doing it for your sake, after all. You had to get through this, and he knew he had to pull you through; everything depended on it.

How could this flock of idiots not tell the “chemistry” was forced???

"Uh… o-of course! Yeah!" You smiled, a fake chuckle escaping your lips, and the crowd of reporters and internet journalists roared in front of you. Of course they did… wasn't everything the disciplined and people-pleasing boy beside you said fucking hilarious? You sighed, returning your gaze to the mass of people below you as you and your leading man sat raised on a platform behind a pretentiously high table.

    Just let Hajime handle all the questions, you thought to yourself indifferently. You always did. They rarely directed them at you specifically, anyway. So much for your dream: to stun the world as an independent starlet, a crimson-hot femme fatale. It was always ‘Hinata Hajime’s doe-eyed leading lady!’, ‘Hajime’s little love interest!’, never ‘(Y/N) (L/N)... featuring Hajime Hinata!’ But... you were famous, and with no little chunk of change to boot… you should’ve been thankful… right?

So why weren’t you…?

  Your eyes scanned the faces before you, and you realized that you hadn't… really looked at them until now. Yes, the usual prolific online bloggers and huge theatre junkies were there, and Mr. Hinata of course. He wouldn't miss out on one of his company’s press meetings for the world, especially with his money-making beloved son in the spotlight. He was so anal, how could anything possibly go off without a hitch unless he was there?

You wondered if the girl next to him knew he was a ravenous monster as well, but thought better of it. Of course, she didn't know. You shouldn't have even known. But you did, and it plagued you every day of your life.

  Fuck... you just wanted to go back to your room and overthink in peace. It was embarrassingly uncomfortable to do so in public

Mr. Hinata sat sternly upright, with his polished, slick hair, in his polished, slick shoes and extravagantly tailored navy suit, his secretary at his side, brushing his hand unnoticeably between the chairs. His wife would never care, anyway. To their right sat a rosy-cheeked intern, spunky and full of character. Holding a clipboard between perfectly painted nails, the only thing that spoke louder than her bright smile was her neon miniskirt. She must not have known, either. No human simply knew, and still managed to look that innocent and lively. The PR girls loved press conferences, and each new show only yielded fresh publicity. This most recent show, set to premiere the following night, was a tale of romance: A vampire lord and his human lover: a medieval era period piece. Of course, for this reason, Hajime did nothing to hide his all-too-real fangs. 

You loved a good historical romance, and loved being in one even more. It had always been your goal as a starting actress to take the lead in at least one period play, be it Victorian, colonial, medieval.. but... it had not turned out quite the way you planned...

   A few other members of the Hinata family accompanied their revered head of  the household… or was it head of the clan… coven? Whatever, it was expected. The murderous bloodsuckers always clung to their leader’s side, and could always be found lurking around Hinata’s estate, if they weren’t already crammed up his ass looking for approval.

A flash came from the reporter to the left, directly into your vision, and left you dazed.

 Fuck… you seethed internally. Calm down. Calm down. The paycheck. That's it. This is almost over, anyway. Why did you always find yourself spacing out at the worst possible times? You acknowledged that it was how your body coped with the overwhelming urge to break down, but damn if it wasn’t inconvenient at the minute. Nothing screamed ‘I have something to hide’ like acting shady in front of a hundred people…

You leaned into Hajime again. Sell the relationship. Sell the love.

You exhaled in exhaustion. It wasn’t that you didn’t love Hajime… you did, just, not like this. Never like this. Lying to millions of fans and the press, pretending Hajime was anything other than a brother-like figure to you just to line his father’s pockets, tore you apart more than keeping his immortality a secret. Denying you both a chance at real love for fear of scandal… you were sure that there was no phrase you’d ever grow to hate more than “The Hinata Theatre Company!” Ironic, wasn’t it, that at one point in time, you begged to be here?

You found that scoping out a crowd lowered the anxiety you had about actually being in front of them. It's funny, many people asked how you could possibly be afraid of crowds or public speaking when you were a damn Broadway-level star. Your answer was always the same: your rush of adrenaline and passion for theatre got you through a show, but anywhere else but on that stage, and a crowd turned your mind to jelly. It was different… walking out for a performance tamed the butterflies that flew around inside your stomach.

  Of course, there was always the fact that your boss could tear you apart at a moment’s notice that contributed to the anxiety, but you obviously couldn't share that little bit of information with anyone. It was all so hard to process, that this kind young man beside you could be something so fearsome, that your whole life was a public sham. You’d never forget the day you’d found out… how it changed everything. You shouldn’t have to be afraid of your best friend, you just shouldn’t. But how could you ever truly trust him again?

Your eyes bounced once, twice around the room.

  ...No

   You gasped, breath catching in your throat as your eyes caught on something that caused you to jump slightly in your seat.

"You ok?" Hajime whispered, the crowd going noticeably silent for a moment. Mr. Hinata glared in your direction. A silent warning, reminding you that even one wrong move made his company look bad, and that would not end so well for you. That was the shining aspect of Hajime’s personality, that he was nothing like his father.

"Yeah, y-yeah," you spoke airily, cheeks heating. "I just slipped to the edge of my seat a little, almost fell!" You lied timidly, a small laugh.

They'll eat that shit up. Soft-spoken, innocent, clumsy girls are all the rage! Of course, Hajime picked up on the lie immediately, catching the change in tone, the skipping of your heartbeat. Being an immortal freak had its perks.

The bright-eyed boy beside you patted your arm, the crowd chuckling politely before returning to their bombardment of questions.

Your eyes flew back to the corner of the room, back to the object that had you startled in the first place. You tried to tell yourself you’d imagined it, but there was no mistake,

 It was him...

 Standing there in the entranceway, so dimly lit, he hid in the alcove. There was no mistaking his favorite jacket, the fabric ripped and weathered from use. There was no mistaking the intricate, almost root-like pale green veins which spiraled up his arms, told a story across his milky collarbone, tumbled down his wrists, and made him all the more intimidating. Intoxicating. There was no mistaking that full head of tousled hair, brightly standing out even in the meager lighting in that disregarded corner of the room, messy whisps branching out dangerously; an air of nonchalance and bored irreverence. Smug bastard…

And there was absolutely no mistaking the way those bright eyes illuminated his white skin in contrast, a frightening and ethereal glow shooting off of him in waves. Hajime’s chestnut-brown eyes never mimicked that terrifying iridescence, but then again, Hajime never took his life-sustaining drink from a human host. Your hands began to subconsciously shake. From fear or the itching desire to… you didn’t know, throw your arms around him, touch his cheek just once... ? You never knew with him. He was a wild thing, a beast untamable. But why the hell was he here?

Carelessly he leaned against the door frame. His tongue shot out predatorily, running along his lower lip in one fluid motion. His knuckles raised, brushing against the green of his coat and coming up to scratch the side of his face.

❘ What are you doing here?! ❘ You sent your thoughts out in waves so loud you might as well have been screaming. You knew immediately that he had taken them in, absorbing your mental cursing and inner toil like sun rays. It was a power and privilege only those of his kind who were purebred enjoyed.

He did not answer, but merely tilted his head, the corner of his lip rising in that maddening grin he always threw at you. An impish smirk hiding mischief and chaotic intentions, you were sure.

You knew it would be mere moments ‘til your flawless "boyfriend" beside you noticed his presence as well, and you feared what might become of this night that was supposed to be of celebration. Almost as if on cue, Hajime’s words halted to a stop. That evil smirk only widened, a small snort shaking the intruder’s chest.

"Nagito..." Hajime murmured through clenched teeth, his hand shooting down to grab your wrist. "He's here."

  "I know..." your words shook, just loud enough for any non-human in the room to hear. Now it was time for you to be Hajime’s rock. Nagito's head bobbed, looking down at his old ripped jeans, and you saw Mr. Hinata's eye twitch before you, his vampiric hearing triggered immediately upon hearing your quiet exchange with Hajime.

Mr. Hinata followed your eyes to the back of the room, his fiery glare landing on the face of his eldest and only step-son in the shadows.

Was it too late to run back into the dressing room and never come out?

You could feel the tension in the air, a line of electricity connecting the three vampires like mental twine, ready to break at any moment. It was like watching three animals square off, sizing up their threat on a National Geographic documentary. The other Hinata coven members, all also fierce bloodsuckers in their own right, merely sat forward politely, sensing Nagito's aura but knowing better than to give him the time of day. After all, alerting the press to his presence would certainly not be a wise way to stay on Mr. Hinata’s good side.

  No one outside of the family even knew about the existence of the elder brother. He was an embarrassment, a stain on Mr. Hinata’s designer tie. In the packed room, he looked so out of place, with dark, torn clothes in a sea of try-hard collared shirts and dresses. Sure, everyone who was anyone in the media world had turned up for this interview, and would also return for the opening night the next day, but everyone who was anyone never included Nagito. He made sure of that. He just had to stick out, be different, didn’t he? Even among a bunch of immortal freaks, boy… was he a freak. 

Oh no, mommy remarried some rich man then got herself killed, better act like a little ungrateful little prick. Woe is me, I have super good luck that is sometimes super bad! No one understands me!!!

He sickened you, the way he did his best to destroy what he and Hajime’s family had built, all in the name of his backwards and twisted idea of “hope.” As if he didn't live like a prince because of the Hinatas’ hard work. Don’t get it twisted, you hated Mr. Hinata and would love to see the Hinata empire burn, but this company, the desire to be recognized and worth something, was all that held dear Hajime up. It was his only dream, and he deserved it. Nagito didn’t have a right to tear Mr. Hinata down if he had to wreck Hajime to do it.

     He disgusted you, you’d decided months back, to make it all easier on yourself. Everything he’d done, the trouble he’d caused, the hurt he’d caused so many people. Routinely, you reinforced to yourself that you hated Nagito Komaeda

   ...You were disgusted by the way you… just... couldn’t hate him. It didn’t feel right. Something felt… wrong in hating him.

  Your heart lurched, meeting his eyes again.

Why not? Why not just hate him, (Y/N)? Like everyone else…

Why was it so hard? You were supposed to be with Hajime. And Hajime hated Nagito. Everyone who knew Nagito hated Nagito. But… telling yourself you were anything but infatuated with that dangerous creature… was a lie. You owed everything, good and bad, to that feral, insane man.

Your nerves and the hairs on your arms pricked up like an agitated cat. Why why why? Why would he even do this? He knew what showing up here would start. He was born to start shit, to brew altercation, to cook up conflict. Maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt? Perhaps he finally came to an event to support his darling step-brother, but the way he bore his fangs when his eyes met Hajime’s said otherwise.

❘ Leave. Just Leave. You're just here to antagonize me and I won't let you be a problem. Not today. This is my day… ❘ Hajime spat mentally, and his thoughts burned through your own and, you're sure, Nagito’s.

❘ Aren’t all the days yours, Your Majesty? ❘ Nagito’s thoughts were more severe, yet more playful, taunting, careless, a venomous snarl behind every synapse pulse.

❘ ...Leave. ❘ Hajime pulsed back in warning.

❘ ....Or what? ❘ Nagito’s own ominous threat reverberated through your cranium. You pressed a hand to your temple, an angry, stinging sensation pulsating through your head. Having a vampire read one’s mind was uncomfortable enough: feeling the slight probing and perhaps needing an aspirin after, but being the third line in a purebred pissing match… it was a call you desperately wanted to hang up on. But.. humans didn’t naturally hear a vampire’s thoughts on accident. No, you were hearing this conversation because you were meant to, someone wanted you to. You had no powers of your own, but Nagito kept you trapped in this nonverbal battle, strung up betwixt two immortal minds. You brought the back of your free hand up to your nose, wiping away a stripe of red vitality that began to flow from both nostrils. The panging inside, the angry shouting in your mind only got louder.

[lonelyboxpet]

put back into place || viking whump

this is just a random first person whump snippet without any context lol, hope you like it. it´s set in the tv show "vikings", doesn´t contain any spoilers, only my best friend and me cuz i love whumping myself uwu

cw: alcohol, belting, manhandling, beating, brief mentions of non-con and r@pe, brief mentions of pregnancy and abortions, some heavy language, knife whump, ragnar being protective and getting his revenge on that dumb drunk dipshit, a shit ton of sarcasm

The light of the fire glistened against the metal cups and the candle holders, gold and matted, weakly illuminating the dark hall. Men were laughing, drinking, drunkenly dancing and sharing stories, as they always were, while eating - and making a huge mess, of course.

I sighed. I was holding a cup, almost untouched, and playing with it anxiously. I didn't really like the ale, unlike my friend, who already downed three drinks and now was very cheerily devouring the fourth one. I scoffed a little and sipped from mine. I had to admit it wasn't bad, the ale was pungent and sweet, but I didn't really like the idea of getting drunk around a bunch of two-meters-tall, buff, scary viking men who mostly knew shit about consent and didn't care about what an age gap is. And the last thing I wanted was getting raped and getting pregnant with a child of some drunk-ass 40-years-old fucker in a world where abortion wasn't invented yet.

,,You look like a lost puppy, dude,” Jáchym laughed softly and nudged me, making me smile weakly. ,,What is it?”

,,I just… I don't really like this, bro,” I replied reluctantly, gesturing with my cup to the whole hall. ,,Ragnar and mostly everyone who we know isn't here and were left in the company of a bunch of dangerous drunk dudes who could crush my skull with one hand. Of course I don't feel good.”

He shook his head. ,,Why would they want to hurt us? Look, don´t worry. If you want to, we can go, get some fresh air or something.”

I looked at my feet and squirmed nervously. ,,Nah. You don't have to leave just because of me. You look like you're enjoying this. It's okay.”

,,Alright,” he shrugged and finished his drink. ,,But if you change your mind, just tell me.”

I nodded and decided to try to fight my anxiety. Fuck this, alright? We're here. How many times will we get an opportunity to feast with fucking vikings? I downed my drink in one go, squinching my eyes at how it stung in my throat. Jáchym quietly cheered and quickly followed my example. I smirked at him and peeled myself off of the wooden pillar I was leaning on, diving into the crowd.

My heart was pounding in my chest so loudly I almost choked on it, but I headed to the table, eyes fixed on the big goblet with more ale. I reached over the shoulder of some man, who was laughing loudly about something, and tried to grab it, but he quickly caught my hand and forced me to topple over at the table, getting more laughs from his friends around.

,,Sorry,” I yelped out, trying to pry myself from his iron grasp, ,,I just- I just wanted to fetch the ale.”

The man's eyes narrowed. He reached for the goblet. ,,You wanted this?” he asked. I slowly nodded, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment as more looks landed on me.

,,Yes,” I replied. ,,Ye- yes. I´m sorry.”

He looked me straight in the eyes and strengthened his grip, as he slowly turned the goblet upside down, pouring its content onto the floor. His friends´ laughter rumbled in my ears as he grinned at me, without a trace of humor. I squirmed again.

,,Hey, leave her alone.”

Oh my fuck, bro, I swear to gods, don´t fight this dude, I prayed quickly as Jáchym approached us, opening the man´s hand and forcing him to leave my forearm. I backed off as fast as I could, grasping the bruises he left, watching him and my friend with wide eyes.

The man stood up slowly, hovering over Jáchym as he tried to keep balance. My friend was apparently too dumb to do the logical thing, which was turning around and running for his fucking life, but instead, he striked first.

The man groaned and fell back onto his seat, grabbing his bloodied nose. Now Jáchym backed up, probably finally realizing that fighting a viking wasn't the smartest thing to do, but the man grabbed his shoulder and punched him. Well, he tried, Jáchym dodged it at the last time, and the man´s fist just lightly stroked his cheekbone instead of landing on his chin.

I forgot that I was fucking terrified, my blood raced through my veins. My heart was pounding so fast it hurt. I forgot how to breathe. And, I did the dumbest thing possible. I jumped forward, head-butting the man´s face before he could punch my friend again.

He groaned, I felt his already injured nose to crack, and white stars of pain flew across my skull. He grabbed my throat and threw me to the ground, as one of his friends twisted Jáchym´s arms behind his back to stop him from fighting again, even though he thrashed around and tried to stomp on his feet.

I tried to get up, but a kick forced me to fly back to the ground with a pained gasp. Jáchym managed to strike the face of his opponent with the back of his head, but a punch to the gut forced him to topple over, wheezing for breath. The man over me grinned as he unbuckled his belt.

,,You gonna fuck this little bitch, Hrolf?” one of his friends laughed, watching the whole scene while drinking his ale.

The disgusting piece of shit, apparently named Hrolf, just sneered. ,,I´m not fucking dogs,” he snarled, erupting more laughter from his great pals. ,,I´m just gonna put these two sneaky pieces of shit back to their place.”

His belt landed on my arm, leaving an angry red mark. I yelped and tried to pull away, but to no use. The leather of his belt hit my skin again, and again, and again, no matter how much I squirmed. In the end, I just curled up, covering my head with arms, quietly weeping and hoping that he'll get enough soon.

My hopes apparently came true, since the blows stopped coming. Hrolf scoffed. ,,And now the other one.”

Oh well I think the fuck not, I thought, pulling my bloodied arms from my head. Jáchym growled and fought against the two men who were manhandling him, trying to push him down. Hrolf raised his arm, ready to hit him.

I bounced off the floor and flew forward, kicking him in the groin with all the strength I had. Which wasn't much, but it was enough to force him to screech and topple over, falling back onto his seat hard. Jája pulled himself out of the grasp of the two men, quickly stepping away.

The metal buckle of the belt landed on my face, erupting in a white-hot lash of pain. I fell to the floor, feeling the metal taste of blood in my mouth, but I looked up at Hrolf with a bloody grin when he turned around and left the scene with a scoff, swaying and grabbing his crotch.

Jáchym´s warm hands lifted me up. I wiped the blood from my face, hissing as I touched the open wound and splitted lip.

,,You alright?” he asked, concerned. One of his eyes was already swelling up. I frowned, gently touching it, and he softly tsk-ed, pulling away from my touch.

,,No, bro. Are you alright?” I replied, voice full of worries. And blood. It´s sweetness mixed up with the bitter aftertaste of the ale.

He shook his head. ,,No. Let's get out of here.”

I agreed with all my heart. We supported each other as we stumbled out of the hall, into the cold darkness of the night.

>><<

Rangar´s eyes were piercing me as he softly turned my head with his fingertips, examining the marks.

,,You say he beated you two up for getting a drink?” he asked Jáchym, who stood a few feet away.

My friend nodded with a frown. ,,Yeah. He said something about putting us back in place or something,” he confirmed, his face dark with anger. I shivered softly when I saw his expression. Ragnar turned my attention back to him.

,,Um, I mean, it was kind of my fault,” I admitted quickly, stuttering a little when faced with his blue, stark eyes, who did not blink. ,,I- I shouldn't have sneak up on him like- like that, I´m really sorry-”

,,Stop it,” Ragnar cut my stammering. ,,He hurt you. Floki,” he turned to the boat-builder who was watching the whole scene, leaning against the frame of the door, ,,go find Hrolf. Tell him I want to talk to him, now.”

Floki sneered a little and perked up. ,,Of course, Ragnar,” he grinned, as he always did. ,,I will tell him.”

He disappeared and Ragnar sighed, patting my shoulder. I let out a soft gasp of pain and he immediately stopped, gently grabbing my side instead. ,,I´ll deal with him,” he promised to us. I felt the anger building up inside him and I shivered, clinging to Jáchym instead. ,,Come with me.”

>><<

,,Hello, Hrolf,” Ragnar greeted the man who entered the hall coldly, not even turning around to face him. I sat at the heel of the stairs leading to the chairs dominating the room, trying to hide in the shadow. Jáchym didn´t. He sat at the top and was piercing Hrolf with the deadliest stare he knew, considering the fact that one of his eyes was swollen and almost closed.

,,What is it, Ragnar?” Hrolf asked, the trace of sarcasm too visible in his voice.

,,You know why I wanted to talk to you,” Ragnar said softly, still with his back turned on Hrolf as the man approached. ,,You hurt these two.”

Hrolf scoffed. ,,The girl sneaked up on me. She then disrespected me, and the boy tried to fight. I simply put your slaves back to their place.”

Now Ragnar turned around swiftly, facing the smaller man, their faces only a few inches apart. ,,They´re not slaves,” he corrected him, voice terrifyingly calm and low. ,,We found them while raiding, but they're not slaves, Hrolf. I think of them as high as of my own children.”

Hrolf threw his arms apart. ,,Well, I didn't know that you were so keen on them,” he snarled in irritation. ,,They annoyed me. I fixed that. If they learned their lesson, I have no problem with them. Is that all, Ragnar?”

Ragnar smirked, locking Hrolf´s arms in an iron grip. ,,No.”

He head-butted Hrolf´s face so fiercely that his head flew back, breaking his already kind of damaged nose once again and leaving a bruise around his eye, similar to Jáchym´s from yesterday. Hrolf howled in pain, but Ragnar´s grip forced him to stay on his feet. Ragnar grinned wildly as he flicked a small knife from behind his belt - and then he turned to me. I shrivelled and curled up under his gaze.

,,Come here,” he ordered me, still holding a groaning Hrolf in one hand and the blade in the other.

The last thing I wanted was to get close to a furious Ragnar with a knife in his hands, but his command was just impossible to ignore. I shakily got up and approached him, my eyes flickering from the glistening blade to Hrolf´s fucked up nose to Ragnar's stone-cold face with a soft smile on it.

,,Closer,” he gestured, softly taking my chin to lift it up, examining the place on my cheek where the belt broke my skin. ,,Hmmm.” He turned back to Hrolf and lifted the knife.

I backed up, knowing very well what he was about to do, and I also knew that there was no use in trying to stop him. I just turned away, trying to ignore Hrolf´s pained gasps and panting as Ragnar slowly, too slowly started to carve the same wound into his cheek. Jáchym softly hugged my side when he felt me shivering, frowning, but not turning away.

Finally, Ragnar was done, the bloodied knife fell to the floor and Hrolf was quietly hissing.

,,Now, I think we're good,” Ragnar said, still not letting him go, watching the blood drip from his chin. ,,But to be absolutely clear…” He pulled Hrolf even closer, so close he felt Ragnar´s breath on his ear, ,,You ever lay a hand on them again, and I will cut it off myself. Understood?”

,,Ye- Yes,” he gasped, gulping. ,,I understand.”

,,Good,” Ragnar smiled and let him go. ,,Now, be on your way.”

Hrolf started to back up, wiping the blood from his face, leaving the hall abruptly, shutting the door behind him. Ragnar let out a huge breath and picked up the knife, wiping it against his pants. Then he looked at us.

,,Which one of you broke his nose the first time?” he asked.

,,I think it was me,” said Jája.

Ragnar grinned and reached a hand out to him, helping him to get up. I quickly stood up too, my eyes flinching from Ragnar back to my friend.

,,Good. The next time, punch out his teeth too, boy.”