#i think he very much wanted ed to like him and keep enjoying his company

[chelseeebe]

falling.

a/n: wow man, i truly am awful but i’ve been very ill and very busy and have seriously neglected writing so have a lil something i wrote to ease back into it! it’s a continuation of seven minutes in heaven and on my knees (for you) but is very much fluff and lovely<3

18+ mdni. smut. mentions of r being drunk but mostly just love and fluff<3

everybody knew.

or at least now they did.

there’s not much room for secrets when you’re drunk and clambering all over him in front of a room full of your friends, was there?

eddie’s never seen you so.. loose. the bottle of wine had ignited something within you, clearly. your fingers twisting into his shirt, sticky, gloss-covered lips attached to his neck.

he’s grateful that your leg is slung over his lap, hiding the uncomfortable rising in his pants, made worse by your constant fidgeting and the soft whispers into his ear.

it wasn’t as if you two were much of a secret anymore anyway, robin, nancy and vickie had all figured it out that day he answered your door in his boxers. and now at least most people had caught on.

“i need you eds,” you whisper sultrily, not a care for his poor growing boner. there are only so many dead puppies you can think of before it stops working, by the way.

“we can’t..” trust, he had already surveyed the house and decided that sneaking off would be highly risky, too much chance for interruption to make it worthwhile.

“we can,” you beg, practically growling into his ear, “let’s go home,” fingertips now dancing down his shirt, dangerously nearing the waistband of his jeans.

he blinks, turning his head to face yours, noses bumping against each other, “it’s not even ten.. we can’t leave yet,” he wouldn’t have sex with you like this anyway, too much pinot grigio coursing through your veins to make it right.

you huff, nostrils flaring in your tiny tantrum, “you’re so mean,” jutting your bottom lip out.

eddie’s eyes dart around the room, catching a few stray looks, people confused about your position or why you were practically straddling him of all people. “people are looking at us..” and the thing is, no matter how many times you could tell him that you wanted him, no matter how many times you showed him that you wanted him, he wouldn’t believe it.

“i don’t care,” you scoff, connecting your lips hastily, a new feat compared to the sly neck kisses you’d been giving prior.

it had never been about hiding for you, more so about keeping things just for you two. nobody else needed an opinion or opportunity to ruin things, that was it. but now, the longer you continued to hang out and enjoy each other’s company outside of fucking, the more he felt himself falling.

now, eddie reckons he was probably in love with you from the second you’d dragged him into that closet but now he’s pretty certain he is. it’s different now, a level of consideration there that wasn’t ever apparent before.

it had been solidified for him a couple weekends ago during a game of spin the bottle, when it had landed on you and then subsequently jason. eddie’s heart stopped beating until you swerved his mouth, landing a small peck on his cheek in place of a real kiss.

that was different.

“please can we go,” you beg, fisting the soft material of his shirt, keeping your lips lingering over his.

he clears his throat, and really, you should know him by now. you should know that an ounce of attention from you would result in a stiffy he couldn’t shake. his eyes fall to his crotch, “i can’t.. i can’t get up,” cheeks flushing a ruby red.

your eyes join his, peering down between your leg and his stomach, a grin spreading across your devilish face, “i can fix that,” tilting his chin upwards with your painted nail, “if we go home.”

his forehead knocks against yours, giving up on this nonexistent fight with you, “fine, give me.. five,” hoping he somewhat hide his indiscretion from your friend’s prying eyes.

he does eventually, get off the chair, craftily readjusting his pants as you gather your bag. robin’s head perks up, brows raised at the sight of you leaving already, “i’m gonna walk her home.. too much to drink i think..” wrapping an arm around your shoulder, guiding you through the party and out onto the street.

the front yard is littered with drunks, paying no mind to you and your unsteady feet.

you’re so loud, giggling as eddie attempts to rein you in, a tight grip on your arm while you wobble over the sidewalk.

“hey,” you pout, stopping in your tracks. fuck, he just wanted to get home, as much as he adored whatever antics you were up to, he was freezing his balls off and you’re plastered.

“what?” he replies softly because no matter how annoyed he was, he’d never take it out on you.

your eyes are hazy, glossed over and barely able to focus on him but they’re full of love, “all i want to do is kiss you,” lopsided grin growing bigger.

eddie just smiles because there are no words he could ever jumble together to reply to that. not the way you deserved anyway.

“can i?”

how could he say no?

with your eyes round and glittering in the moonlight, lips pouted perfectly.

“of course you can,” he laughs, hooking his arm around your shoulder, pausing just before your lips meet his, revelling in the moment.

you press your lips to his, a little sloppy but full of love, tender and soft. you smile as you pull back, gripping onto his leather jacket, “we can go home now,” smiling into the night.

eddie feels a little sick. he hopes to god that he’s right about this, that you feel the same way he does. all signs point to yes but how’s he to know without your confirmation?

-

he’s abruptly awoken when the bathroom door slams shut, a collection of unpleasant sounds come from the other side.

he’s not surprised you’re sick, in fact, he’d left a your trash can to the side of the bed last night, just in case.

see, eddie’s not really an early riser but he doesn’t mind being woken up this early when he’s being woken up by you. vomit or no vomit.

you emerge from the bathroom with a colossal pout and a minty breath. sliding back into bed with a small groan. “did i wake you?” you ask, nestling back into his side.

“mhm,” he hums, appreciating the warmth you bring, “i don’t mind, you okay?” he asks, sliding an arm around your shoulders.

“i am now,” smiling slightly. your hand creeps down, making him jump as your cold fingers rest on his stomach.

he watches with tired eyes, hoping this is going where he thinks it may. your hands, despite feeling frozen, are always soft, he adored the tender way in which they met his skin.

you hum, body vibrating against the side of his body, “go brush your teeth,” poking him lightly in the ribs.

“yes ma’am,” eddie practically leaps out of bed, following your orders in hopes that you were implying what he thought. scrubbing his teeth with such ferocity that the toothpaste ends up everywhere.

he’d clean it up later, he thought. too excited to jump back into bed with you to care too much.

you’re already smirking in the low light, propped up slightly by the pillows, holding the blanket open for his return, “hurry up, it’s cold.”

oh he obliges, flying to the bed in record speed, hovering above your waiting body, boyish grin plastered across his face. perhaps one day he wouldn’t almost die every time you suggested sex or flashed him that look.

that day was not today.

your lips latch onto his, hands already finding his sweatpants, delicate fingers hooking into the waistband as you tug them down. he’s already hard, hasn’t been able to program that out of his brain just yet.

eddie’s tongue swipes across your bottom lip, sliding inside and it’s this moment where he’s grateful you made him get up to brush his teeth.

your hand, still a little cold, wraps around his cock, eliciting a gasp in response, pulling him from your lips. “fuck, your hands are cold,” eddie laughs in your face, quickly forgetting the icy temperature when you start pumping your fist.

“you want me to stop?” you ask, smirking devilishly.

“fuck no,” he chuckles, burying his face in your neck, sucking at the sensitive skin. this gets you fired up, squeezing the base of his cock gently.

your head tilts back, allowing him more room to nibble and lick at your bare neck. he struggles to get your shorts down, grunting into your chest when your hips buck upwards against him.

“jesus christ,” he mutters, emerging from the curve of your neck to gaze down at you, his absolute favourite position.

you don’t reply, instead, your tongue pokes out, licking your lips in anticipation. your legs wrap around his back, pulling him in tighter. personal space was an after thought, he thinks you’d climb inside of his skin if you could.

this position is still fairly new to him, looking down at you pressed between the mattress and his body. sometimes he’d be smushed against your chest as you attacked his neck and other times it was more hasty and rushed.

but this- this time, he’s focussed on your face, lingering inches above as his hair falls down against your cheeks.

sliding between your slick folds, nudging inside as his teeth bite down onto his bottom lip, struggling to contain the moan gathering in his throat. he’d been here enough times to know how to move without your bed hitting the wall, it had become an art.

slow, steady strokes, making sure he was moving exactly the way you’d taught him. appreciating the way in which your lips parted and the soft, melodic noises that tumbled out of them.

and yeah, you guys have had sex. plenty of times in fact.

but this felt different somehow, something more.

there’s a lot of that happening lately and eddie’s still unsure about how it makes him feel or if he’s supposed to feel a certain way.

you’re in his hoodie, under his body, moaning his name. that had to mean something, right?

eddie’s hips collide with yours, groaning when your legs tighten around his waist, everything about this feels overwhelmingly intimate. your forehead pressed to his, gazing through hooded eyelids, rolling slightly with every thrust.

“hmm,” you groan, full of rasp, “just like that eds,” manicured nails digging into his shoulder blades, pinching slightly but only spurring him on.

it’s still early, the rest of your house definitely still sleeping, forcing him to swallow his moans. you’re touching yourself, arm threaded between your bodies, circling your clit.

it drives him crazy every time, he assumes that most men wouldn’t appreciate it, a lack of confidence in their abilities or whatever. but eddie loves it, loves that you can make yourself feel good too.

your eyelids flit, breathy moans at every move of his hips, he knows what this means. has learned every tell of your body, the way your mouth falls open and your mind seems to shut off.

“fuck,” you gasp, tightening your grip on his shoulders. moving against him in the final throws, the tip of his cock nestling against the sweet spot.

this is where eddie loses it a little, thrusts becoming sloppy as your fingers work at your clit. he can feel every part of you, squeezing around him and the soft pants that dance into his ear.

his forehead dips, pressed against yours as his senses overcome him, throwing him over the metaphorical edge. “uh shit,” he garbles, spurting his release into your quivering cunt.

you squeak underneath him, mouth agape as your legs shake around his waist, eyes squeezing shut as you cum. it’s fucking magical every single time, it could probably bring him back to life if it really came down to it.

“oh my god,” he breathes, brushing the hair from your forehead, still lingering above as you float down to earth.

your eyes peek open, a smile inching onto your face, once again holding onto his cheeks as you press a solitary kiss to his lips. this was his favourite part of it all, the aftermath.

it usually meant cuddles and chats about nothing. when you were your truest self. eddie wanted to live here for eternity, gazing at the stars in your eyes, happily listening to whatever ramblings you came out with.

the morning is quiet bar you both trying to catch your breath, he can feel your racing heartbeat against his chest and almost wants to say it. to admit to everything he had been feeling.

but you beat him to it. “i love you,” you beam, grinning away to yourself, seemingly unaware of what bomb you had just dropped.

eddie chokes on his spit, coughing and sputtering as he climbs off of your body. lying back on the mattress as his chest heaves. oh my god, he thinks he might be sick.

his head was already spinning, only made worse by your declaration of love. his senses are heightened, looking over at you with bewildered eyes.

“what did you just say?” begging for clarification.

really, the only possible explanation was that this was a dream and he’s about to be rudely awoken and find himself in his own bed, having none of the last six months happen.

“i said,” you smile, pulling yourself into his side, “i love you,” wriggling as you pull your shorts up, intertwining your legs as you do.

“i thought you said that,” eddie laughs deliriously, still frozen in shock. he’s in utter disbelief, just staring at your face in hopes that he’s not cruelly torn out of this moment and it is real.

you tut, pouting slightly, “do you maybe wanna say it back?”

“i do,” he rushes, “i mean, of course i do- love you, i mean,” stumbling over his words, his heart is pounding out of his chest, “i love you too, is what i’m trying to say,” cringing at his severe lack of nonchalance.

even with your extensive training and advice, he’s truly still that weird little virgin boy, still head over heels for you. that’d never change,

“good,” you twinkle, nestling back into his side, arm thrown over his stomach, “you scared me for a minute there.”

he doesn’t understand how you weren’t already well aware that he infatuated with you, he had thought it had been plenty obvious. the man near enough started drooling when you’d touch him for christ’s sake.

“i thought you knew,” shrugging slightly, “i don’t exactly hide it.”

your shoulders shake as you laugh, slightly jittery and still exuberant from your session, “how was i supposed to know you weren’t faking it?”

eddie’s brows thread together, perplexed at your assumption, “you’re the first girl i’ve ever really liked.. let alone loved, i don’t even know how to fake it.”

“shut up,” shaking your head, “you used to like that girl..” clicking your fingers together, “the one with the hair.. whatever her name was.”

“what? you mean carly?”

carly was a friend, helping him pass his marketing class. he had maybe gotten the feeling that she liked him but nothing ever came of it. she wasn’t his type and besides, he’d had his eye on someone else anyway.

“carly! yeah.. you were obsessed i swear, i used to be so pissed off.”

woah. what?

“i didn’t like her.. not like that,” he didn’t, in fact, eddie’s always had a bit of a soft spot for you in reality, “you were pissed off?” he teases, pulling you in tighter.

he felt like he could now, like everything had been established and this was it. you were together. you loved each other.

you give him an over dramatic sigh, “yes i was pissed off,” settling your head on his chest, “i thought you liked her and not me,” he can feel your eyelids flutter shut against his skin, “i’m glad you didn’t though.”

eddie laughs, moving your body as he shakes. he can’t help himself. you were pissed off at the thought of him liking someone else. you. it’s almost nonsensical.

footsteps echo through the hall, stopping outside your door alongside a chorus of whispers. you groan quietly before they pound on the door, obviously eager to collect the gossip.

“what?” you call out, not moving from your position. maybe before you would’ve sprung apart, trying to cover up the obvious but now you embraced it.

robin, nancy and vickie pour into your room, sly smiles on their faces. it’s fairly obvious what had just gone down in here. his cheeks were still blood-red, your leg thrown over his, entangled in the blanket as one.

“so,” robin smiles, pursing her lips, “you have a good night?” alluding to your very public displays of affection.

“i had a fantastic night, thank you,” you grin, refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the room, eddie respected the fuck out of that.

“mm i’m sure,” robin quips, raising her brows before perching on the end of your bed, “you remember anything from last night?” she asks curiously, cocking her head to the side.

you bite down onto your lower lip before answering, “i may have been informed,” rolling your eyes slightly. the other two girls giggle in unison.

“so it’s official?” robin asks outright, not wasting any time. she’d never been one to beat around the bush, jury’s still out on whether it’s a pro or a con.

your shoulders shrug, eyes trailing to eddie, “i’d say so,” smiling knowingly.

they had no idea what had actually just occurred, ignorant to the declaration of love that had happened just moments before they burst in. he knows you’ll probably tell them the second he’s gone but for now he appreciates the secrecy of it all.

a moment only meant for the two of you.

robin grabs onto your ankle, shaking it as she roars excitedly, “i fuckin’ knew it,” beaming with a certain smugness.

your eyes roll back again, “have you got what you wanted now? can i sleep this hangover off without anymore interference?” your words are sharp but hold a tone of humour.

“yes yes, you can go back to being degenerate perverts now,” robin laughs, standing from the bed, vickie guides her girlfriend out of the room with a raise of the brows.

nancy lingers, “we’re going for breakfast in a little while, if you two wanna come,” flashing her tightlipped smile before following after robin and vickie.

the door clicks shut and eddie lets out a sly sigh of relief. they were his friends too, he just wasn’t a fan of being interrogated by them when he’s practically naked and still recovering from your confession of love.

“i’m sorry,” you apologise for their abruptness though it’s unneeded.

eddie just smiles, relishing this moment. you’re lying on his chest, his girlfriend, you love him and he loves you and that’s all there is to it.

“i love you, i really really love you.”

[amuseoffyre]

"I don't even know who I am"

What I have loved about the show from day one is that it has been an unflinching examination of identity and what makes it: the things that shape people into who they are and how that impacts on how they act and react to the world around them.

The exploration of Ed’s sense of self has been so beautifully handled and I know that if/when we get a third season, they’re going to do even more with it.

This is a character who has been raised with violence and cruelty his whole life, who was told “we’re just not those kind of people” when he yearns for something better, who killed to protect his mother, who ended up under the heel of a brutal tyrant of a captain who used sadistic punishments and death to keep his crew in line.

It’s the only life he knew and it’s the only option he sees himself as having. He has no concept of any other alternative until along comes Stede “there’s always another way” Bonnet and he’s fascinated. He even tells Stede as much the first time they met – “do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone doing something original out here? It’s impossible, man.”

Ned Lowe cements that fact in 2x06, describing Ed as a generic pirate and Ed immediately calls him out on the fact that he’s as messy as the rest of them even if he’s trying to act like he’s not, observing “It’s usually family stuff”. Stede even observes “A lot of your friends are troubled” and Ed fully admits “Yeah. Well. They’re pirates.”

There’s so much juicy meta to be had about the fact that Stede wants to desperately be a pirate and Ed doesn’t even catch that not only is Stede fully troubled but that it’s got Family Stuff etched all over it. He even says “you’ve got it all figured out”, but the Stede meta is for another day.

In S1, Ed’s in a pretty depressed space and finds a bit of a respite from it in Stede’s company. It lets him try out new things, things he didn’t think he was allowed/able to do, but he still follows a lot of the patterns of behaviour and actions that are standard in the pirate lifestyle that has been 80% of his lived experience.

He can switch violence on and off when he needs it (“next one goes through your fucking eye”), he doesn’t see anything wrong in talking about the violence he’s inflicted (“Well, this one time I was gouging an eye out of this lad’s skull”), he has a deep well of punishments that he can draw from (force-feeding body parts, mutilation, skinning, maiming) and all of these things are just so normalised for him that he’s desensitised to how horrific they are.

He’s still doing all those things while also telling stories, having fun, teaching people about fuckeries and generally being “more open and available than I’ve ever seen him”. He hasn’t wanted or needed to shed that side of his life because he’s getting the best of both worlds.

Only then Calico Jack pays a visit and ramps Ed’s behaviour up to 11 and this is the first time Stede – who is dealing with his own issues at the same time – says that there’s something wrong with the way he’s behaving.

Ed says to Stede, confused and stung, “This is who I am. This is me” when Stede points out all the behaviour he isn’t enjoying. And for him, at this point, this is him. This is what he’s grown up knowing and being. This is his lifestyle and part of the culture of the pirate community. We see it repeatedly when we see Ed encountering people from his past or in the Republic. It’s the frog-in-the-pot scenario. He’s been in the pot so long, he doesn’t know it’s been boiling the whole time.

Only the very next episode, at the academy, pared back to just be Edward Teach, born on a beach, he admits “I don’t know if I want to go back to the old days, drinking all day and forcing some bloke to eat his own toes for a laugh”. He’s been played and double-crossed by people who trusted him and he sees an alternative in Stede – “I’m your friend” Stede told him, and he wants that. He wants a friend he can trust. They can go off together, away from all that and everything’ll be fixed, right? That’ll make it all good.

And then…

And then we all know how that goes.

Briefly, very briefly he thinks he might be able to hold on to that different kind of thing, that softer, brighter world, but Izzy reminds him of the reality of their situation. That people he considers allies and friends can and will warn him to “watch his fucking step” and that this is not a world where he can let his guard down.

Either you’re part of that world or you die. Izzy said it as far back as episode 4. The only retirement they get is death. And so that’s the option Ed takes: either watch the world burn or die trying. Not like he can have anything else. For ever and ever, trapped in his life and world he has come to hate.

He sinks him into the worst of it to try and end things faster. He’s crueller. Relentless. Brutal. And no one seems to care that he’s shattering under the weight of it, until he forces their hand and goads them into killing him or letting him kill all of them.

Izzy says “we did this to him” to Stede, but neither of them seem to realise how much deeper Ed’s hurts go. Yes, they both had an impact on Ed, knocking away his sense of place and self and acceptance, but the wounds are far older and far deeper than they know.

It’s only when Ed is first forced to confront himself in the unsettling not-reality of the gravy basket that he takes the first step in understanding himself better. He’s forced to face the stuff he’s done and the worst parts of himself. He even tries to kill them, over and over again, until he realises.

I find it especially interesting that Buttons describes getting out of purgatory as “escaping”. That this is a place where you’re flayed down to the bones and forced to face the worst parts of yourself.

It’s so vital that he – and Stede – have the encounter with Anne and Mary. He’s reminded of the world that he was part of and the casual brutality that came with it. He’s shown that he and Stede could easily fall into those patterns, but instead Stede offers him honesty, comfort and the assurance that he is loved.

“A lot of your friends are troubled” Stede observes after and Ed admits that yeah, they’re pirates. He recognises that this is part of the social culture he grew up in and that it’s still impacting on him now.

But what happens next is so sweet and important. Buttons talks to him of learning to change, that nothing is fixed and that if you want to, you can change your path. And then Buttons shows him it’s possible and Ed’s face just lights up. Yes, brother. Fly. You can change things. You can choose another way.

Only it’s not simple. It’s not straightforward. With the probation period, Ed looks for quick fixes – offers to let Lucius push him overboard to get it over with and the like – but part of him still doesn’t quite get why some of the stuff he did was wrong because it was so normalised to him.

It takes Fang saying “I was terrified” to make him see it and coming from someone who has been with him for 20 years, realising someone else from within his own world was terrorised by him brings things into focus for him. That the things he thought were games weren’t. That the stuff he told himself was normal in context absolutely wasn’t normal.

And this is where Ed’s entire world view pivots. Fang shows him how to sit with himself, how to reflect. Ed takes this lesson to heart and he’s still working through it, gazing out to sea and thinking about it at the beginning of episode 6. He goes from never apologising for anything as a captain to telling both Fang and Izzy quiet, but meaningfully, “I’m sorry”.

He’s known for a long time that he’s tired of piracy, but the Ned Lowe situation is the thing to put the final nail in the coffin: this man hunted him down because of his pirating. This man hurt them all because of it. And worst of all, Ned took the man Ed loves and pushed and provoked him until Stede killed him. This was Ed’s “you defile beautiful things” moment. His face in those scenes, when he said “don’t do it, you can’t come back from this” is a call from his own experience. Stede is taking that step onto a path that Ed desperately wants to get off.

That night makes the decision for him.

The next morning, his leathers go overboard, a symbolic end to Blackbeard (and I will yell another day about him putting the proverbial beast back under the waves. Ed and his sea metaphors are gnawing me alive) and he’s happy about it, humming and hurrying back down to join Stede in their bed.

Stede doesn’t notice, though. Stede never would notice something like that being important because for him, Ed is Ed. Whatever he wears, whatever he does, he is Ed. A change of clothes doesn’t change him in Stede’s eyes.

But other people notice. Hell other people not noticing Blackbeard and only seeing some hobo dude is such a change. There’s something so significant that the people he chooses to talk to about it are the old guard in his field. He tells Jackie “it’s not a phase” and Izzy that it felt “fucking great” and both of them get it. Both of them have been there, seen it, experienced it.

Only it happens as he’s seeing Stede become what he used to be, stepping into the space he’s willingly leaving, and Stede is so happy about it. And he’s happy for Stede to have his moment and be appreciated, but it just throws into stark relief that this is absolutely not what he wants or needs right now. He still has a lot of figuring out to do and unfortunately, they’re both highly-emotional people and when they’re emotional, their communication goes down the toilet.

Once upon a time Ed said “this is who I am, this is me” to Stede, when he was acting exactly like Stede is now: raucous, drinking, chaotic and loud. Only time and reflection has let him see that wasn’t necessarily him but the environment and his circumstances shaping him to be like that, just as it's now making Stede act that way.

“I don’t even know who I am,” he admits in this argument. “I’m not ready for whatever this is”. He knows he has a lot more to figure out and because he’s latched on so hard to fishing as a place to be quiet and contemplate, that’s why he runs there. He wants to work himself out without the weight and pressure of the pirate world breathing down his neck.

Only he doesn’t talk about it, he doesn’t explain, he just tells Stede he’s leaving and Stede immediately sees it as something he’s said/done, rather than something that Ed is trying to figure out. They both hurt each other because Ed has always worried that Ed isn’t enough – the loss of the beard still weighs on them both – and that Stede is only humouring him to get Blackbeard, while Stede is so convinced that being a great pirate will mean he and Ed can be together as equals instead of him being a bumbling amateur who isn’t worthy of the man he loves, only to see it slip through his fingers.

They both need to talk to each other, but they don’t know how. Ed’s made quick, rash decisions, but they’ve come on the back of a lot of reflection and he just didn’t explain it. He’s right that he doesn’t know who he is himself. He’s never had the chance to just… take the time and figure it out. He needs that time, but they just don’t have it right now and they end up hurting each other more because of it.

I’ve said from the beginning that both of them are coming from opposite ends of the spectrum and that they’re destined to meet somewhere in the middle. Ed got his fantasies of a fancy life shattered in season one and now, Stede is seeing the impact of his pirate fantasies on the life he made for himself in season two.

Both of them are on the edge of a catastrophe curve, misunderstanding each other’s motivations and totally at odds with who they are versus who they have been told they need to be. They will get there, but two little lost boys finally taking off the rose-tinted glasses and dealing with the mess that they have carried with them their entire lives isn’t easy.

And I will fully admit I am loving it.

[wicchyy]

0.1 — drunkfession ; james potter

sum: alcohol has both you and James thinking about what could’ve been

warnings: drunk teens

notes: wrote this months ago but its literal shit needed to clear my notes tho!

James stumbled in his steps as he climbed up the corridor stairs. His head was heavy, his eyes bleary, but even in his drunken state he was still able to make out the person stood before him.

Judging by your puffy lips and reddened cheeks, he was able to either guess you were drunk or had been crying. Your hair fell in its silky locks, tangled by the ends. James just wished he could comb through them, make them look perfectly straight just how he liked it. His heart ached a bit when your eyesight avoided him immediately.

He knew he’d hurt you, he knew how you and him didn’t talk much more these days, didn’t joke around even when you’d been promised a friendship still. But none of those compared to you avoiding eye contact with him.

The breakup didn’t go well. He had convinced you that both of you weren’t good for each other. And maybe you weren’t. Things were messy for you, and he was in a complicated situation as well. You’d gone through a list of hookups after. But James, James had gotten into a semi serious relationship with Lily Evans. At first he tried to hide it, then things got more complicated and James couldn’t keep things away any longer. The news came a few months after your breakup, but the fact hurt, and maybe mixed with a bit of alcohol in your senses— you had broke down to the pictures of them together.

James didn’t knew what was going on in his head then, maybe he enjoyed Lily’s company, maybe he did like her. But if he did, then why was he so completely over her in just a week, or why— even worse, was his heart panging in his chest and his heartbeat ringing through his ears when he sees you like this.

And why, when the air gets colder and the leaves turn browner does he have you feeling like his girl again?

“Hi.” He starts simply.

You wave your hand, “You can cross, Potter.”

He wants to speak, but the words don’t come out right, “I— I don’t—“

“You know, you can speak to me properly. Know you’re drunk ‘n all, but it’s really not that hard, Potter.”

“What d’you mean?” He asks harshly.

You lean away from the wall, “I mean, you’ve been avoiding me all the time. ‘S not like I’ve done anything wrong, have I?”

“Oh, c’mon Y/n. I—“

“Why’re you even here?” You slurred, “Shouldn’t you be busy with Lily?”

He rolled his eyes, clearly irritated by the question. “I have an actual life other than her, thank you very much. And besides— ‘s not like we were anything.”

You knew. Of course you knew. You were friends with Sirius and Marlene, Merlin, one of those were bound to say something. “Really?” You asked, not to sound too interested or anything.

He hmm-ed, answering simply.

“Then why’d you break up with me?”

One. Two. The seconds passed by just as direct as your words. Unsurprisingly aiming for his heart.

“You know I cant answer that, Y/n.”

You scoffed, “Why not? Haven’t had actual closure all this time. Might as well, right? We’re both drunk, probably wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning.”

Truthfully, even if you were drunk off your arse, you knew you wouldn’t forget about anything about this night. Even starting from this moment, it had all been captured and stored in your memory. Just like all the other ones with James in it, it was tucked in the safe space of the small slot in your heart.

“Yes. No— lie. I remember everything with you in it.” Just like your minds were the same, he admitted just a bit more bravely than you.

“I just want to understand, Jamie.”

There it was. Jamie. He knew the nickname was coming, and yet he still expected a small heart attack to occur when you pronounced the name so gently, just like you used to.

“I know you do.” He sighed, running a hand through his mess of curls. “But I don’t know either. My head was a mess, just like you were. And I guess— I guess I never apologized to you and never helped you through it. But you should know, Y/n, I really am sorry for all of it.”

Your eyes shot up to the ceiling, avoiding the mess of tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. “I didn’t ask for your apology. I asked why.”

More tugging on his hair, “I don’t— don’t know, Y/n. I guess, things were really messy and I did the first thing that came to mind instead of thinking it through.”

“You should’ve spoke to me. Asked me for help. Or something. I was there for you, Jamie. You had me, just like I thought I had you.”

The words cut. He knew, and you knew too.

“You were there for me?”

You rolled your eyes again at him, a small laugh escaping and your voice going down. “You know you’ll always have me, right Jamie? No need to be so choosy with my words.”

His beautiful hazel eyes light up, “I know.”

“You avoided me. You acted like I didn’t exist.” You frowned. Even with his poor eyesight, James could see your eyes turn glassy.

“Honey—“ James stopped himself, “Sorry, Y/n. I— I didn’t know you felt that way. You said you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“What?” You suppressed the want to smack his head, “When did I ever say that, you idiot?”

“I dunno! I just got the vibe!”

“You’re so stupid, Potter! This is why I hate you!”

“You don’t hate me.”

“Yes, I do.”

James scoffs, “You could never hate me.”

“Right, because you’ve treated me so perfectly.” You mumbled.

The staircase didn’t have much air as the window was far on the top end. You felt yourself getting hotter, particularly the heat reaching up to your cheeks when James clicked his tongue and pursed his lips.

“Let me treat you perfectly then.” He offered, you weren’t sure if he meant it or if it were just one of his mindless, drunk flirting. Probably the latter.

You scoffed, “Not a chance, Potter.”

“I mean it.” He took a step forward. His fingers twitched, itching to grab ahold of yours. He knew just then what it’d feel it, yours were cold and his was warm. He knew it was like whatever this was between you two, just something teetering on the edge, if he had a chance to grab ahold of you he knew he could warm you right up. But James hadn’t yet trusted himself if he was able to earn your heart and not break it again.

“I have experience in not believing what you mean.”

“I wanted it to be you, Y/n. So badly.” He confessed in a whisper.

“Then why not?” You only dared to ask as the tears finally drop gently across your cheeks.

Why not? Well, it was quite clear then why not. Because his robes were decorated with red and gold and meanwhile yours were lined with astute silver and green.

You. Always you. How could he ever forget … about you? Even if it’s been months since your breakup, and months since you’ve spoken so intimately with each other, everything about this felt natural.

“You know why not.”

You rolled your eyes, pretty sure your cheeks have been rained with black mascara by now. “It sucked to see you trailing after Lily for weeks. It sucked because I knew how it felt having you on mine.”

“I’m sorry.”

You scoffed, trying to lighten the mood with your insistent remarks the whole conversation. “You’ve said that before.”

“Honey.” James smirked ever so slighty. He moved his face closer to you until you could feel his breath fanning over your nose. “I’m so, so sorry.” Your cold choulder was suddenly touched by a warm presence, his fingers creeping up to twiddle with the thin strap of your dress.

“Jamie..” your voice wavered, serving as a warning to James.

“I could have you forgiving me so easily, you know that?”

You decided then, if James wanted to play this game then you could compete as well. “How about, you spend more time trying to get a sincere apology to me ready by next morning. Maybe then I’ll see if I’m ready to forgive you.”

“God, I had you tearing up a minute ago and now you’re back to this?” James panted.

Your hand pushed at his chest, “See you in the morning, Potter.”

James smiled politely, the smile you hated. Then his head dipped lower and pressed a singular light kiss on your clavicle. “Goodnight, then.” He whispered against your skin.

“Ugh. Goodnight, Potter.” You replied swiftly before quickly leaving.

💌 thanks for reading lovie! support me by reblogging <3

[thebeautysurrounds]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how people’s reactions to certain queer shows and something I think we need to examine how we treat more ‘dark’ and ‘emotional’ shows versus more ‘happy’ shows in this case I’m gonna be talking about the “debate” between Young Royals and Heartstopper.

Firstly these shows exist in two different lanes, and draw in two different audiences and potential age ranges, in my opinion, Young Royals is for older teenagers (think juniors or seniors or someone who is about to graduate high school and is going into college) while Heartstopper is geared towards those who are just starting high school or in the middle of it and is in that transitional period of their lives. Obviously, if you are not in these age ranges you can still consume and enjoy these shows, But I want to discuss how people act like they both can’t exist and you can’t like both or both shows existing for a reason. I’ve never really been a fan of punching down or belittling queer media (unless it’s harmful) Queer media in all forms is still lacking (especially those mediums centering WLW relationships). That being said the debate of which show is better is honestly so tired.

For people who say Young Royals is so much better (don’t get me wrong it is an amazing show and by all means like whatever you want) but liking it more because it’s “darker and more realistic” compared to Heartstopper which is "much happier" and "unrealistic," To me is so disingenuous because firstly so what? campy shows that feature queer characters deserve to be unrealistic, What's wrong with being unrealistic? Queer media has been subject to the Burry Your Gays narrative for decades or extremely unhealthy tropes and storylines so what's so wrong with having storylines and shows that are unrealistic or extremely happy? (even though the themes in Heartstopper are realistic).

Have you thought about how that may be an intentional choice? Now bare with me here this may be my over-analytic brain at work but Heartstopper has more or less some of the same themes as Young Royals just shot in a very vibrant and colorful manner to showcase how happy and colorful young love is BUT if you actually have watched the show or read the graphic novels you would know the show and graphic novels cover some heavy themes.

SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT……

I want you to keep the song Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People in mind throughout this...I have a point I promise. Heartstopper is shot in a very poppy colorful way and in my opinion, symbolizes how when you’re young and in love everything feels warm, colorful, and vibrant. While Young Royals doesn't utilize this cinematic style they do use some form of vibrancy to convey tone and emotion. In Young Royals many of the scenes featuring Simon and Willhem's 'good moments' feature the sun especially shining on Simon when Willie is looking at him or whenever they are just in each other's company, this is especially prominent in the last scenes of the last two episodes of season 3.

So while people's criticisms of Heartstopper can be warranted (not saying you can't dislike the show) the comments that it's just so bubbly and bright just aren't true. The last season of Heartstopper saw multiple characters go through traumatic situations and it has been building up that way from the very first scenes in the first season of the show (but for the sake of time I'm only going to discuss both main characters in the two shows) Charlie not only is still struggling with being outed but is also battling with an eating disorder, this is foreshadowed throughout the first two seasons leading up to its inevitable blatant reveal when he is at dinner with Nick and his family where Nick starts to piece together why he is never hungry, passed out on the Paris trip and never finishes his food, which leads his to eventually research the signs of an ED. Nick is also still figuring himself out when it comes to his Bisexuality, while also dealing with the feelings of, feeling abandoned by his father, and having to reckon with the fact his brother is not supportive and dismissive of his sexuality and relationship.

Now before I said keep Pumped Up Kicks in mind that's because while this song has an upbeat, catchy tempo the song actually has a really dark undertone and meaning. So while Heartstopper is shot in a very vibrant colorway most of its characters and content of the show deal with dark themes and it's not all just a happy love story, and if the script for the next season follows the graphic novel closely, then we will see the characters go through even more challenges which also falls inline with the "darker" more emotionally message of the show. So to end this so it doesn't become a dissertation, both shows more or less have the same themes they just exist in two different lanes, I don't know why exactly people are fighting for one to be more valid than the other. When both can exist and be impactful to both or each audience, more queer shows need to exist where the characters are just happy and in love and I need y'all to unpack why you view more doom and gloom (for a lack of a better word) queer shows or movies are more valid than ones where the characters are just happy and have relatively in some aspects great experience when it comes to young love and figuring out one's identity. Sepreatlty why do you want these characters to suffer to find love? Why do characters have to go through something traumatic for their identity to be more valid and for you to relate and want to root for it more versus the latter?

Anyway, this was longer than I intended it to be but I just had to get my thoughts out there. TL;DR: Heartstopper and Young Royals are two great shows and if you think one is better than the other cause it has darker themes you are missing the point or probably objectively missed the dark undertones of the show, and one isn't more valuable than the other.

[pullingyourstrings]

Truth on every word.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of sex, multiple L-Bombs, confused feelings, fluff, happy ending.

Words: 590

Eddie Munson says all kinds of things during sex. He rambles, mostly, but you found out very quickly that he also L-bombs.

The first time it happens it's only the second you've slept together. You weren't planning on it being a recurrent thing, just random hookups and that was it. So when he holds you close and whispers an "I love you" while he catches his release, you know he didn't mean it. It's a heat of the moment thing. Right?

Except it keeps happening.

The second time it happens it's after you've been on a few dates. You're on your knees and he had rambled probably a thousand times how that was the best head he ever got. So when he shouts "Fuck! I fucking love you" you think he's just saying it to praise your skills, or whatever.

The third time it happens your relationship is already turning into something more, still something that you couldn't put a name on, but it's soft. So so soft. He buries his head on the crook of your neck, holds your hips impossibly close to his and whimpers such a painfully honest "I love you" that you almost believe it.

"Are we... Are we gonna talk about it?" you ask after all is said and done, and you don't even have to specify, he knows exactly what you're talking about.

"Nope!" He answers quickly, getting up and already on his clothes before you could insist.

The funny thing is, it never happens any other moment. It's only during sex. Whenever you're out together, or when he invites you to watch his new dnd campaign at Hellfire, or when you're hanging out on his trailer watching movies and smoking, even when he's passing out drunk at the hideout after a Corroded Coffin concert, it never happens. He never talks about feelings, about your relationship, about what you mean to him. And you never push it, because you're scared of losing him, scared of losing whatever it is that you have. And deep down you're scared of what he means to you too. That you're actually in love and he isn't. So you don't mention it anymore and it keeps happening and the words kind of lose their meaning after a while.

Until one day you're being silly together, playing games and having fun in his room. Just honestly enjoying each other's company. Your stomach hurts from laughing too much at Eddie's stupid jokes when he stops you, holding your face in his hands and looking deeply into your eyes.

"I love you" and it's different this time. It feels honest, pure, true.

"You mean it?" you whispered. You felt like the world stopped, like nothing else mattered aside from this moment. You searched his face for any signs, any flinches, any regrets.

"Always meant it." But there was none. Just his smile and shining brown eyes welcoming you to get lost in his love.

"Why you never wanted to talk about it?"

"I don't know babe" he shrugged, averting your gaze. "I like what we have. I didn't want to lose you by being too much, by being... me. Guess I was just scared"

"You have no reason to be scared Eds" you smiled back at him, resting your forehead against his. "because I love you too"

"You do?" he raises an eyebrow and you nod enthusiastically. He kisses your face everywhere he could reach, whispering an "I love you" between each kiss and, this time, you could feel the truth in every word.

[oryou-condred]

id in alt

i got annoyed at not having a clear image of Yuu whenever they showed up, so i made a uhh yuusona?

just a shitty college kid that got isekai-ed and tries to cope in the best way he can. first year of administration. further elaboration under read more bc too much text

JADE -> YUU : actually really enjoys yuu's company, and is grateful that they jojned the club. does not mean that he doesn't terrorize yuu at every opportunity however, but still, they have a good rapport and he enjoys his company. also 100% knows about the crush and weaponizes it to hell and back lol does he like yuu back? no. but also yes. but mostly no. but maybe yes.

YUU -> JADE : has a lil crush, but tries to keep it lowkey because its embarrasing. admires jade for how good he is at everything, and is happy to learn from him whenever he can. a little scared of him but in a good way.

IDIA <--> YUU : they hate each other because they are too similar and they do not like what the mirror shows them. enemies 4 lyfe

VIL -> YUU : constantly frustrated over their lack of care for themselves and often steps in just because its too much of a waste not to. useful puppet for trying out stuff too

YUU -> VIL : very scared of him, but also trusts him the most with his appearance in general. would not mind going out to buy clothes with him but is too scared to ask

JACK -> YUU : thinks they are a lil bit pathetic but sees potential. wants to bring it out and is very intense when yuu asks for their help. overall tries to give tough love but leans too hard on the love (platonic)

YUU -> JACK : precious beautiful amazing wonderful strong powerful he is everything he is the moment he would kill every mage with a piece of glass if jack asked him to because he is weak for people who are very sincere and earnest about everything they do

[doubledyke]

i think ed and double dee have a special bond that we see some of in the show, but in my head of course it goes deeper. for example, i really like the scene in "to sir with ed" when ed is over at double dee's house late at night and they're just hangin out. it's one of my favorite little scenes because i feel like it gives a brief but interesting view into their friendship outside of the trio's dynamic.

we can pretty safely assume that ed's parents don't give a shit about him and frankly don't want to be around him, hence the removal of the basement staircase at least once. they're (mostly his mom) so blinded by their detestation for their son that they forgot they'd need to do laundry at some point. and you guys know what i think of dee's parents. they don't give a shit about him outside of how good or bad he makes them look.

i think the two really connect because of their lack of caring parents and for being kids who spend a lot of time alone, and are probably comfortable with/used to solitude, but crave the company of another person. i imagine that on a lot of summer nights when the boys are parting ways, eddy goes home and does whatever he does. but the other two go to edd's house to hang out until they're ready to go to bed. ed's parents wouldn't notice he's gone and edd's parents rarely come home before midnight.

their time together consists of science experiments where edd gets to teach his friend about things he thinks are cool. whether or not ed absorbs the knowledge is another story. they build models together, and watch gory horror movies while critiquing the practical effects. edd gets his hands on a taped surgical procedure and they watch between handfuls of popcorn. i think they'd also enjoy doing their own thing while in the same room; ed drawing while dee is studying or compulsively organizing, etc. i wonder if they ever make fun of eddy behind his back... 🤔

in the show, i see ed being somewhat of a protector of dee. he doesn't process a lot of the things dee says or does, but cares nonetheless and sometimes anticipates things that might upset his delicate friend. whereas with double dee, he takes on an almost parental/motherly role for ed. he tries to guide and teach him, but also wishes to keep his innocence intact as much as possible. he's also sensitive to his friend's feelings and reactions, though he might not really understand them. i could see him wanting to mentor ed in things like hygiene and other basic life skills that his parents neglected. he's not very successful in his efforts though.

ed and dee do, of course, get on each other's nerves for similar reasons. ed doesn't always want to learn about quantum mechanics and the clinical quality of dee's house creeps him out, in a bad way. a little filth would really liven up the place. double dee really wishes ed would take a shower - why, he'd even provide the hypoallergenic soap! he also struggles with ed's one track thinking and tendency to (unintentionally?) disrupt and destroy. one thing i find hilarious in the show is that most of the time when dee is frustrated with ed, he calls on eddy to handle it. there's something interesting about that, but i'm not fully prepared to delve into that right now lmao. maybe it's because double dee doesn't know how to get ed to change behavior barring physical force and he's not comfortable doing that (aside from the band-aid method). but eddy'll do it! i imagine ed's response to being upset with dee would be to utterly zone out and forget about it entirely in five minutes. but he might also purposely continue to piss him off for shits n giggles. he secretly wants to see double dee's "dark side" really badly.

anyway, those are just some thoughts and hcs i had the momentary mental energy to gather in one place. nothing revolutionary, but fun to share nonetheless. thanks for reading!

[devilsrecreation]

Headcanons about (mostly) the Outlanders cuz I think I’m going back to my Lion Guard phase

Hyenas:

Like I said in a previous post, they’re basically the next generation of Shenzi’s clan

Also like I said, Chungu appeared out of nowhere. He’s most likely an orphan who was fortunate enough to meet Janja and Cheezi and they’ve been together ever since

All of Janja’s clan have been friends since they were all cubs and they’ll stay like that forever :)

Nne is the best singer out of all of them (mainly cuz he’s voiced by Beau Black, who sang “Here comes the Lion Guard”)

Oh, and he was SUCH a mama’s boy. Always hoping he’d make his mama proud

It took Tunu and Wema a while to get used to Janja and his clan, but when they did, they absolutely adore Chungu and Cheezi. The two hyenas who they thought were bad turned out to be really nice

Jasiri sometimes turns to Nne and Tano for advice and even takes their suggestions on how to hunt. She appreciates their intelligence a lot more than Janja did (although he kinda likes to brag about them cuz they were in HIS clan after all)

I know I saw a comic on Deviantart about how Shenzi, Banzai, Ed, and the rest of the clan left in the first place because they were scared of Zira and what she would do to them when they found out who REALLY killed Scar. And you know what? I 100% agree with it

And yes, they all came back when they discovered Zira died. It was a very wholesome and emotional reunion. Everyone cried tears of joy, everyone’s parents were alive and well, they all caught up, it was adorable

Chungu would eventually notice he doesn’t have anyone to reunite with and goes off on a little journey to find his parents, not knowing he doesn’t have any and despite not remembering much about his childhood. It’s okay though, with the help of some animals that he meets (and some VERY obvious signs from Ushari’s ghost watching over him), he comes to realize that his clan are all the family he needs

Also holy shit, this could be a really good fanfic-

Crocodiles:

Pua used to be exactly like Makuu when he was younger, which is why he has faith in him and believes he’ll learn with experience. Needless to say, he was right.

And for the record, he thinks Makuu’s doing great :)

Pua keeps up with all the gossip in both the Pride and Outlands. Being banished from the float gave him some benefits (and he’s doing just fine)

Being the friendliest croc in Africa, he’s become sort of a grandpa figure to everyone. He even pays his former float (and Kiburi’s) visits sometimes to catch up. Even Kiburi enjoys his company

May or may not be hard to believe, but Makuu and Kiburi used to be pretty close, especially when they were little. They were inseparable, telling each other everything and sparring with one another. It wasn’t until adulthood when Kiburi realized Makuu was always one-upping him in every way and it made him feel second-rate. And no one wants to feel second-rate. Pretty soon, he managed to get some obsession for beating Makuu…just once. He wants to be better at Makuu at one thing. It’s all he ever wants

Some crocs are more prone to showing emotion than others and Kiburi is the toughest one to crack. Super rare seeing Kiburi show any emotion other than annoyance, but it’s possible when you really get to know him

He’ll never say it out loud, but Makuu lowkey thinks about the past often. He sometimes misses the simpler times when he was young and didn’t have to worry about being a leader or having some of his float go with his now rival. Now he has no choice but to look forward. A lot of animals change. He did, maybe the other crocs would too…maybe he and Kiburi could even be friends again

Kiburi actually cares deeply about his float, since he considers them his true friends for sticking by his side. Being…well…himself, he hides it well and claims he’s indifferent towards them. Just know when he says that, he’s straight up LYING

Crocodiles know how to sing, a lot of them just choose not to unless it’s for special occasions like Kupatana. Kiburi has never sang in his life, but boy can he rap. If crocodiles or anyone else in the animal kingdom did rap battles, Kiburi would win every single one of them. He is THAT good.

Vultures:

Mzingo and his parliament have been friends with Shenzi’s clan for ages, which is why Shenzi trusted him to raise Janja and the other hyenas when they were cubs. And Mzingo did just that

He’s never had to deal with kids before, so wasn’t the best parent. But goddam did he try his absolute best

Mwoga is totally in a relationship with the harrier hawk, Mpishi and everyone else lowkey makes fun of him for it

Being the most sane, the vultures are usually the ones who have to witness everyone else’s antics. They’re always greeted with a “Morning!”

Like Mzingo would catch the hyenas having a dance party for no reason then Janja locks eyes with Mzingo and is like “….Uh…morning, Mzingo!”

Yes, that’s a Bluey reference

Jackals:

They might be/have been menaces to other animals, but they’re the African version of the Heeler family from Bluey. Super wholesome, super adorable, and whenever you see them, you’re like “awwwww”

Dogo is a mama’s boy. There, I said it

GoiGoi is like Bandit with his pups. He’s very committed to his role when he’s pretending to be the prey during training…when he isn’t sleeping

Sometimes, GoiGoi talks in his sleep and the subject is always about Reirei…it gets really awkward really fast

Dogo and his siblings annoy the living hell out of everyone by asking too many questions that refuse to let you sleep at night…or questions that are too..personal for them to get a straight answer (ex: “why don’t you have a mate?”)

They’re surprisingly very good friends with Tunu and Wema….except they can be bad influences

Reirei may be sassy, but she’s got the warmth of 1,000 suns to her friends. She’ll always be there when you need her

Kenge:

Oh boy, here it goes…

So since female monitor lizards lay 8-50 eggs, I’mma say Kenge had a LOT of older siblings and they all had to care for each other until each of them could fend for themselves. Kenge happened to be the runt of his sibs. The last one to hatch and the smallest of all his brothers and sisters

Kenge was NOTHING like the hateful lizard he is now. He was a doormat, a sweetie, he genuinely smiled, he wanted to make friends. Unfortunately, that just made everyone see him as weak

Being the youngest and smallest, he was often picked on by all of them. Pushed around, had his tail stepped on, called a butt load of horrible nicknames regarding his size, you name it. And it wasn’t just his family, it was every other animal he met! They all just talked down to him and always referred to Kenge as “the little lizard” instead of using his real name. And he hated it each time they used it

He met Ushari at a young age and they’ve been best friends ever since…Kenge’s only friend, actually. Ushari was really the only one who understood him (being constantly disrespected his entire life) and the entire reason why Kenge finally stood up to himself. Kenge misses him so much

Thanks to Ushari, Kenge decided it was time to stop all the intense bullying when he grew up a little. His bully this time was a young leopard (maybe a young Mapigano or one of Makucha’s friends idk). The leopard had purposefully stepped on his tail saying “Watch it, little lizard!”. That was the breaking point. Kenge bared his teeth and bit the big cat on the leg, hard. Everyone else who was laughing wasn’t laughing anymore. Kenge demands the leopard and everyone there call him a big lizard from now on or else…and it worked! Word spread out pretty quickly not to mess with the monitor and everyone finally left him alone! He had to admit, he kinda likes being feared by the other animals. There’s something so satisfying about it. He obviously didn’t really expect everyone to be scared of him, but whatever works ig

His siblings finally started respecting him, but he went off on his own cuz he doesn’t want any more of their toxicity. The eldest told him that he can’t survive by himself when he’s that young, but he managed so take that!

Kenge usually doesn’t like making friends. He doesn’t want to get attached just so he could get stabbed in the back by animals talking shit about him. It’s happened before. Having said that, he’s managed to befriend the skinks and Sumu. Since he stays in the Outlands, he started talking to them and found them to be surprisingly chill (Yes, even Sumu). Now he’s super protective towards them and would absolutely go mental if you try to hurt them. He’s not losing his friends again

He co-exists with the other animals in the Outlands. As long as no one bothers him, he’s respectful towards you

Post all the events in TLG, he’s doing a lot better. He’s become a tad more open minded and has even become a little nicer to animals who are nice to him. He’s starting to get more in touch with his younger self. Not a doormat, obviously, and he still hates being called little…but he smiles a lot more now and is less hateful of everyone. And he knows that Ushari’s looking out for him in the afterlife

[eddiesprettybabygirlstevie]

Steve being a complete whiney ass in the car, Robin sighs " Eddie tell your moody little werewolf to calm his tits " she continues to drive, Eddie chuckles " Princess calm down, your making Rob very stressed, so here eat these, you seem hangry " he hands Steve a can of pringles after eating one, Steve whines as he takes the pringles and eats them, his mouth full " there not even flavored ones Ed's, you know I like flavor " he whines as he gestures towards Eddie, Eddie growls " listen mister calm down, your fine, we can get more snacks at this next stop, alright Princess " he pets Steve's head softly, Steve calms down from the petting as he hums " mmm okay, that works, mmmm snuggles " he scoots into Eddie an snuggles as he means into Eddie's pets, eating his pringles, Eddie has seemed to calm him down and he smiles " there Rob, he's all good now " he continues to pet Steve while holding him, Robin smiles as she sighs " thank god, make sure you feed him, we don't want a whiney puppy the entire trip " she's much more relaxed as she continues to drive, Eddie chuckles " yes of course we don't but he's my cute little whiney puppy tho, look at the cute little puppy" he pinches Steve's cheeks gently as he kisses them, Steve blushes miserably as he hides his face into Eddie,still munching on the pringles, a little later they take a break and Eddie takes Steve to get snacks, Steve squeaks excitedly as he grabs peach rings, sour cream pringles, doritos cool ranch of course, he also grabs pepperoni and sausage,Eddie chuckles " Princess I think you should get some real food and something healthy " he smiles as he walks with Steve up to the front, Steve nods as he listens and goes an looks, he decides on a cheeseburger with fries and salad, they go an pay an after they get back into the car, Eddie sitting down an Steve instantly snuggles back into him, as he rips open the pepperoni and eats it slowly, he then eats the cheeseburger and fries, sharing them with Eddie while smiling as he purrs, Eddie smiles as he chuckles and pets Steve's hair softly,eating the fries an half of the burger Steve gave him,Steve enjoys sharing,especially with Eddie his love, Robin smiling at the two dorks as she continues to drive to go see the rest of the party, happy that she has friends like them to keep her company and to help them with anything they need, of course when Eddie drives, Steve becomes more winey an moody but Robin can manage to get him calmed, well sometimes, Steve doesn't like being in the car for to long, his werewolf side being to blame, no dog likes staying still for long and that's Steve, unless it's with Eddie cuz he mainly listens to him, he occasionally will listen to Robin but it's kinda rare, he's a total butthead like Henderson sometimes but Eddie absolutely loves his little puppy Stevie.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hallo, Covid here!!! Could you do general headcannons for Edward Elric and your favorite full metal alchemist characters?? I hope you’re doing well!!!

Hi Covid! Absolutely! I've never done general headcanons before so let's see how it goes! I've gone with five headcanons for each character; just let me know if you'd like some more (or some for different characters). Thank you for your request!

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist:

Characters: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

General headcanons about the characters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ed (especially post time skip) enjoys making floral arrangements. He enjoys creating things without alchemy but when they don't turn out how he wants, they usually go flying out the window. Winry's seen a lot of flowers go that way.

Ed's really good at doing complex hairstyles. He's had a tone of practice with his own hair so learning new styles is easy for him. Mei learnt about this and always goes to Ed when she wants a new hairstyle.

A fan of horror movies (this is possibly more in a modern au). He is more of a fan of terrible b rated movies though. He unironically enjoys how tacky they are.

Ed has lots of small scars on his left hand from getting his skin pinched in his automail when he was still getting used to it as a kid. That's half the reason he started wearing gloves.

Has tried to wear platforms before. He thought they would make him taller but failed to consider how hard they are to walk and fight in. He nearly twisted an ankle before Al stepped in and forced him to take them off.

Al can't ride a bike. He was just barely at the right age to learn when the whole "human transmutation" thing happened and he couldn't learn to ride one while he was a suit of armour.

Has a really good singing voice. It just doesn't come across well in the armour. He likes humming to himself quietly when he's whiling away the long nights so his pitch is usually spot on after so much practice.

As much as Al likes cats, I see him as someone who would own a dog post-series. It suits his lifestyle and is good company without being too high maintenance (I tried to keep this as spoiler-free as possible).

Surprisingly dexterous with his hands. You wouldn't think so with him being a suit of armour for so long but he's nimble enough that he could easily pick up knitting if he wanted to.

Reads a lot of fiction novels. They're a good break from all the academic reading he does for alchemy. This means he daydreams a lot. He's so used to letting his mind wander during the night that he sometimes slips into his own thoughts through the day as well.

Mustang listens to salsa music while working. He was introduced to it while away on a military assignment and has kept up with the latest trends since.

Mustang never uses his alchemy outside of military uses. He uses matches at home and carries a lighter with him when he's off duty. He doesn't want to rely too heavily on something that he knows bothers Hawkeye.

Enjoys watching soap operas and telenovelas in his free time. He likes being able to switch his mind off and just watch something for the sake of just passing the time. He does end up getting invested in the story though...

Mustang enjoys reading and writing poetry. He's not very good at writing it yet, but he's improving. He's got all his draft poems in a box in the bottom draw of his bedside cupboard. Has considered publishing a few under a pseudonym.

Drinks his coffee with only a half teaspoon of sugar and a small splash of milk. He likes it more on the bitter side because he read somewhere that it has more caffeine that way. He needs to stay awake when doing paperwork somehow.

Hawkeye did ballet classes for years as a kid. She stopped when she was in her early teen years and hasn't really danced since. Mustang is the only one who knows.

Has a major sweet tooth but controls it strictly. She only allows herself one sweet treat a week. When she's very stressed, she lets herself indulge a bit and bumps that up to two sweet treats a week.

Listens to true crime! She loves theorizing about the culprit and trying to figure out the plot twists before they happen. Despite being surrounded by those sort of things at work, she likes listening to events that happen outside of Central.

Got her ears pierced when she was a kid. I think she had a lot of earrings left to her after her mother died and she wanted to wear some of them to remind her of her mother.

Has faint burn marks on her hands from her time in Ishval. Her metal gun get very hot in the sun and it burnt her hands when he had to hold it for a long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, did you enjoy this? If you like my writing, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page! This will allow me to make some money off my writing, something I enjoy doing.

ko-fi.com/justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms

Important Note: Please only donate if you are financially able to. If you are currently in a position where you can't donate, a like, comment, or reblog will mean just as much.

[riddle-me-ri]

I would love some BTAS Riddler, anything you can think of, 18+ content welcome though not necessary if you can't fit it in, but if he could remain very sweet and gentle with reader as his SO? Thank you!!

A/N: asdfjhjkl okay so, I don't think you know what you've done and I'm so so sorry for the result. But also thank you so much for the freebie cause BTAS Riddler is my husband, literally the one that's started this whole Riddler rabbit hole I've hyperfixated on in comfort for 6 years at this point.

I'm not gonna lie it's a x reader fic, but reader is basically me rip. This is based on true experiences and insecurities I've faced in past relationships and I'm taking a chance to write this out in hopes to come to terms with it.

So this is way more hurt/comfort than anything else I've written thus far and it's very suggestive but the smut isn't explicit like my other fics (no worries more is in store I assure you)

I hope you, anon, and other enjoy it nontheless. Also just an overall note, yall are all extremely lovely and amazing people and don't ever let anyone undermine you or your worth. Period.

TW: Insecurities, Talks of anxiety, mention of toxic ex relationship, some suggestiveness, and some strong language.

Word Count: 2.3 k (yep, I went ham on this folks)

BTAS!Riddler x F!Reader - First Time

It was like a dream. He is an absolute dream. 

To think this handsome, charming, brilliant man sat across from you. 

It had been almost a year since you started this relationship with the one and only Edward Nygma. You met him back when he partnered with Baxter Toys, when he supposedly went clean. During the few corporate events he attended (before ultimately succumbing to his compulsion and obsession to beat Batman), everyone was drawn to him. 

He left everyone in awe of his intellect and one-of-a-kind creations. You were no different, you were a brand designer for the company and mostly showed up because it was required. Edward actually gave you something to look forward to for these events. Most of the time you stood in the background and just admired him from afar. You wanted to talk to him so badly, to know how he comes up with these toys. 

You managed to solve most of his puzzles, except for his latest one. You still can’t believe it looking back on it, but your curiosity truly did get the best of your nerves and you went up to him and asked if you were missing something. Unlike the other women in attendance literally draped over him for his looks and success, you were the only one that came up with an actual attempt at his puzzles. 

Little did you know how observant Ed is, all the times he presented a new toy, he always noticed you getting it right before most. It made him chuckle to see you beaming at your success, before you quickly dart out of the room to keep from being bombarded with how you solved it. 

Ed took an interest immediately, but for all his charm when it came to the opposite gender he was an absolute goofball and wasn’t always certain when, how or if he even, should, approach someone he was interested in, romantically. He knew enough though. He knew he loved your smile, he enjoys hearing you talk, he admires your creative eye, and you were obviously intelligent for solving his puzzles. 

He would be lying if he didn’t see you walking up to him with an inquisitive look on your face his one opening to make a move. The other women paled in comparison and faded away for all he cared. Ed didn’t come out forthright with the answer, but he was able to give subtle hints that he knew you would understand. You did understand and you understood him.

The rest was history. 

Even when he was sent back to Arkham, you kept in touch with him. You sent him letters asking how he was and if he ever needed anything to let you know. He was so touched at how much you genuinely seemed to care. 

It didn’t bother you that you were speaking to a patient in an asylum. Whenever he corresponded back to you, all you heard and saw was your Eddie, not the mad evil genius, The Riddler, who sought to prove his intellectual superiority over others. 

You saw Eddie, the sweetheart that made up riddles where the answer was you. The man that made you laugh until your jaw hurt and the man who made you feel on top of the world. Whenever he complimented or assured you, you couldn’t deny or argue it. 

Except for…maybe one thing. 

Eddie and you were having a quiet intimate dinner at home. He had escaped along with the other rogues only a few days ago, and Batman was surely on the hunt for him and the others tonight. 

Everything was going splendidly. 

You had your Eddie back at arm’s length. You were cooped up in his arms now as you watched his favorite late night game show. His head was nestled in the nook of your neck and shoulder. Every now and then peppering kisses alongside your cheek and neck. 

You knew what usually follows after nights like this, and it caused a growing knot in your chest. You knew because it has happened nights before and you turned him down. Albeit he was accepting and understood, you knew he had to be growing restless with you. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, quite the opposite, you wanted him more than words could even describe. You were just mortified. The last serious relationship you were in, the moment sex was introduced things seemed to change. You were treated less as a partner and more of a fuck buddy, making love wasn’t fun, and it was just a chore every single time. 

You felt bad for even making that assumption about Edward, who has been nothing but loving, loyal, and honest with you. You want to believe and know that being intimate wouldn’t change anything but make your relationship stronger, but you’d be damned if the slightest possibility of being treated the way you had before, didn’t rack your brains. 

“My dear, is there something wrong?”

Damn it.

Lost in your inner turmoil, you completely ignored the outward signs your body was making. You shoulders tensed up and your breathing quickened. You were a fool for thinking Ed wouldn’t notice those things either. 

“I-I’m fine, sorry, just got distracted there.”

“Darling, I can tell when something is tormenting you..I won’t pressure you to tell me, but I hope you know you can tell me anything..”

The slight burning sensation of fresh tears started to rise. You bite your lip to try and keep the whimpers down. You shake your head as if to alleviate the oncoming tears. “I-I’m fine, Eddie…”

He didn’t say anything, instead he turned you around so you were facing him. Straddling his lap, he leaned you into him, in an embrace. He kissed the top of your head. 

Fresh tears fell and soaked into his black long sleeved shirt. You let yourself give into the tears that desperately wanted to be let out. Ed didn’t say a word, he just held you and rubbed your back up and down. 

“I-I’m sorry..” you sniffled. “I-I ruined the evening.”

“Impossible.” He said. “You could never ruin anything, darling. I love every moment I get to be with you, however I do hate to see you cry, but sometimes it can’t be helped. I’m just glad I’m here for you.” 

Urgh, why is he making this so damn hard. Ed is so sweet, considerate, and thoughtful…but I thought the same of my ex…no, no Eddie’s different. Edward is different. Edward Nygma is different.

“I-I’m glad you’re here too, Eddie. I missed you so much.”

“As I missed you, my love…but something tells me this is something deeper than my absence.” 

You nod. “I-it is. It’s something I’ve been at conflict with for awhile now…”

Ed’s eyes widened. “About me?”

“Sort of, nothing to do with your criminal history or anything like that…”

Ed took a sigh of relief, but if not that, then what? “I’m afraid I’m at a loss then, dear. If you’re up to it, I’d love to know, maybe I can help?”

You took a couple breaths to control your breathing and give you a minute to collect your thoughts. “I-I know we’ve been together for awhile…”

“10 months, 4 weeks, 3 days, 10 hours, 45 minutes, and 15 seconds…”

You quirk your eyebrow at him. 

“N-not that I’m counting…” 

You giggled. “You’re such a dork…”

“Only when I’m around you, and especially if it makes you laugh.” He smiles. 

You sniffled some more, you try to wipe your tears with your fingers. Ed was ready with some tissue and handed them to you. 

“A-Anyway, we’ve been together for almost a year, and it’s been the best time of my life. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, and I love you so much it hurts.”

“As I love you…”

“I-I know, and I also know that most couples have…um…been..intimate by now.”

For a moment you lost Edward as his eyes furrowed down in confusion, but it didn’t take long for the lightbulb to turn on and a blush to rise to his cheeks. 

“I-I-I see…”

“I know we’ve come close to it, and I..I always turn it down.”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I’d rather you turn it down, I don’t want to force anything on you, my love.” 

“I-I..I know and I appreciate it more than you can imagine. I don’t want you to think I don’t want to, because I do..w-want you…”

His face is almost as red as a fire hydrant, but he lets you continue. You’ve rendered him quite speechless at this point, but he also didn’t want to interrupt your train of thought. 

“It’s just, I’m hesitant because in my last relationship…it…instead of bringing us together. It caused a drift…i-it was constant, like all he wanted from me was relief…I-I felt like such a toy. I-I’d cry myself to sleep while I’m beside him and he never noticed…” You pressed the tissue to your eyes and started wiping the ones that managed to escape from your eye ducts. 

“I-I want to believe…no-I-I know you would never, you could never. You’ve proven that time and time again…but I can’t help but be apprehensive you know? Absolutely petrified…no matter how much I wanted it…I would clamp up. I-I’m so sorry, Eddie…”

Ed shook his head and pulled you into another hug. “Shh…you have nothing to feel sorry for, Y/N. My darling, it’s okay…” 

Ed struggled to gulp down the lump in his throat, the slight flame of hatred and anger that was lit by a tiny match. 

How dare he? Who does he think he is?

He had to shake those thoughts away, you were much more important, he’ll ask questions later. You needed him and he was going to be there. 

He kissed your head again. “I-I hope you know that I want nothing but the best for you, I would never pressure you into anything, and if I ever have, with anything, I owe you an apology, it was never my intent…”

You smiled as you leaned back to look at him. Still sniffling, “I do know, and I love you more for it. You never pressured me into anything, you’ve been perfect…you are perfect.”

“Careful…you’ll inflate my ego more than it already has…” He mutters, jokingly. 

It works as you start giggling. “Nope, wouldn’t want that.”

He smiles at you as he pushes some of your hair back from you face, unsticking some strands that glued to the wet spots on your cheek. 

“Riddle me this…a mile from end to end. A precious commodity, freely given. Seen on the dead and on the living. Found on the rich, poor, short, and tall…but shared among loved ones most of all...what is it?”

You blink away the remaining tears as you take in his words. You chuckle breathlessly, “I-I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m not exactly-”

“-A smile. Did I ever tell you that was the first thing that drew me to you? I absolutely adored your smile whenever you got my puzzles right. And I love it even more now. I’d do anything in this world to see it every day.” 

“You may have mentioned it a time or two…” 

He cups your face in his hands, making sure you truly hear him and see him. “It’s true. I cherish every smile, laugh, kiss, embrace, everything. I’m a cerebral man, thought I was too logical. Above and beyond romantic relationships, but you came along, and I’ve never been so grateful for being so wrong.”

You could no longer fight the bright smile that stretched across your face. As you let yourself hear his words, words you didn’t know you needed to hear, but appreciated them all the same. 

“I love you, Y/N. More than I ever thought I could. I will wait however long it takes until you’re comfortable. I do want you and to be…intimate with you, but never at your own expense. Never at the expense of your happiness.”

You couldn’t hold it back anymore. You smashed your lips into his, shocking Edward but he was quick to return the kiss tenfold. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his arms found home around your waist. 

If not for the need of air, you’d doubt you would ever let up on the kiss. When you eventually had to break apart, it was both of your turns to smile at each other. 

“I love you, too. So much.” You replied. There was a pause in the air until you decided. “And..I’m ready…to take this next step with you.”

Edward’s eyes widened for a minute, until he nodded. “Are you absolutely sure?”

You nod assuringly, “I’ve never been more sure.” 

“I promise you nothing will change, I will always cherish you.”

“I know, and I believe you, more than I have anyone else.” You smile. You got up from his lap and embrace. You reached your hand out towards him to lift him off the couch and lead him to your bedroom. 

When the two of you finally got undressed, you were so anxious that your nerves would come up and ruin everything, despite already making the fully committed decision to do this, but those nerves never came. 

The only thing you felt were butterflies of excitement and the growing knot of pleasure being tugged tighter and tighter everytime Edward thrusted into you. He was so patient, so gentle and thorough. He knew your body better than you did, finding new sensitive spots on your skin that turned you into an absolute moaning mess. 

You were kicking yourself for letting your anxieties keep you touches away from absolute euphoria for so long. When all was said and done, he offered to run a bath or get you something to drink, but all you really wanted was to cuddle in his arms. Which he was more than happy to oblige you. 

Your first time with Edward was a dream. He was a dream. A dream come true.

[ravenwitch45]

Just read a Hazbin/Helluva x Owl House fanfic you made and IT WAS AWSOME!!! Honestly I like seeing Amity, Edric, and Emira adopted by M&M, who we know are better parents than Odalia even though Alador is trying to be better, but it's still an amazing idea. Is there still some fanfic ideas based around it, if so could you share some details about the AU?

Ah those fics, it's been a while since I thought of them but I'm glad some people still stumble across them and enjoy them so much. I must admit though that the original asker for those fics @beastkeeper91 gave me that idea even though I took my own spin and wrote em, as well as a few others, but yes I suppose there are a few other ideas I didn't explore in either, some theirs, some my own and I'm happy to share a few.

But first since you just said fic, I'm gonna be safe and assume you only read one, and put both here, please read both before you go further cause I'm going to assume you've read both as I discuss the new stuff

(Note those are their reblogs of the fics, cause they were kind enough to send them to me so I could find them easier since this was a while ago, now the new stuff!)

First of all, since the Owl House has since wrapped up I guess I'll speak on M&Ms status during season 3, most likely they'd end up collected like everyone else, sad but that means Amity gets three parents to lovingly greet after everything is done, and Odalia isn't just the third wheel now, she's the fifth wheel! Cause she deserves it :3

Also Stolas and Blitz would probably be right with them, a little bitter but the whole crew gets the collector is a child and all, and if Amity thinks there okay, they'll listen to their daughter/niece. Speaking of daughters I still don't know what to do Octavia and Loona, sorry ladies XP

And since this is a somewhat M&M centric AU, I certainly can't just not mention the episode that most focuses on them and their relationship, Yep Exes and Oohs.

Crimson exists in this AU, but luckily Moxxie has of course cut ties with him, he still sucks essentially, and I don't hate Moxxie enough to have him dragged back. Not sure what he runs in this AU, cause I don't think the boiling isles has a straight up mob, but it's something Moxxie wants no part of. He's aware of his 'grandchildren' and I'm only air quoting that cause this man hardly deserves children, let alone grandchildren, he's never met them though, he is a little impressed with Amity after the brawl so he's intriqued.

Now that I think of it imagine the tension if while he's taking over running the company, Alador get's involved with Crimson, unaware of his shady dealings, and Moxxie just wants to explode right there when seeing him again. Oh lord the drama... And the possible bonding with his kids when they find out that just like them he had a bad parent like they did in Odalia

On a lighter note, how about we talk about some funny scenarios with the funny shark man?

Chaz in this AU, is on much better terms with his exes, and kinda acts like an unwanted uncle to the blight kids, often joking he might just get back together with M&M to become their dad. Ed and Em find him amusing, and kinda get their sense of humor from him at times, and Amity can't stand him one bit, though she is nicer in this AU to start so she's at least cordial with him, agree with who you like.

Moxxie and Millie however, kinda keep him on a short leash when around their kids, none of his usual horn dog behavior as you'd expect, and Moxxie says he'll just steal Chaz's voice if he ever does it in front of em. Which is usual successful, so the kids just see him as the weird uncle, who just acts very awkward round their parents.

Speaking of magic, Chaz is a bard, just like Moxxie in this AU, though Chaz uses his voice for his magic, while Moxxie and say Raine use instruments, his magic looks like green and teal sound waves. Not sure what or if he'd branch off into other stuff after the sigils removed, maybe illusions for like stage effects but that's just me XP Still figuring stuff out for him.

Now this is an idea completely given to me by good ol beastkeeper. Now in this AU I.M.P doesn't exist as we know it, which I felt was for the best not only cause portals are a much more serious thing in TOH, but also not exactly a great career to have when your daughter ends up with a human girlfriend. XP

My original idea was that they kinda had a club during their hexside days and that's kinda how they got so close, but after graduating they all kinda ended up doing different things while staying in touch, Moxxie became a Bard, Mille an Abomination expert, and Blitz a beastkeeper, but then Beastkeeper proposed I used an idea there using in their own Helluvaverse/TOH AU, check it out, it's a little dark but still neat I think.

Anyway they proposed a new company, I.A.S. Imp Appreciation Soceity, essentially activists for equal treatment, now in my AU Imps are just a type of biped demon, same with Goetias, Shark Demons etc. But I reason that Belos, in his puritan head, ended up getting Imps considered lesser and more "wild" then other types, mainly cause they resemble classic ideas of demons the most, cause Belos is an asshole, no surprise there.

Anyway that means they still technichally work together. That's about as much as I've explored it in my head. Either way I find it cool.

The last thing I wanna mention is a few miscellaneous ideas I have thought up but don't feel have enough layed out to say much about, I want a little plot of Blitz and Luz working together and bonding, protagonist solidarity and all. Also of course figure out what Loona and Octavia are like in this.

Also figuring out a ton of hexside time stuff, how they all met, how they interacted, how the parents possibly did. tons of stuff, but I hope for now this is a good bit of information for this AU, maybe ask later and I'll say even more who knows XP

[ocean-anchored]

Continued still.. December 3, 2023

Monday night I went to the Knights & flames game with Shane, he got really great tickets & I got to wear my jersey. It was a nice evening, he was good & I had asked him before not to ask me if Im ok at any point to trigger my emotional mess. Chrystal was gone the week so I was going into okotoks everyday to cover. Tuesday I originally didn't have plans but then Connor asked to hang out after work. Went for Taco tuesday which was nice then back to his place. I ended up staying the night, I felt like he wanted me to stay but idk, I still can't get a read on him. Part of me just thinks we're kind of doing the same thing to each other. I mean I know i'm not really going out of my way to ask him or make plans but his texting just sucks that I can't read if he wants to or not. Like its hard to keep any convo up over text & maybe he's just like that, I understand his work is a lot so keeping that up is tough, but then after we talked about how I might not be doing a roadtrip in January it died off & he didn't reply so whatever. I mean he has asked to hang out so I assume, & he does ask me to stay so maybe? But to what benefit? Idk. I do enjoy his company though. Wednesday I went for dinner with Ed & Mariana a founder of ours from Mexico city. Ill have to write another time on how I had planned to do a road trip down to the states or mexico for a few weeks but I dont think it's going to work out in January so I'll talk about it later for now. Went to Charbar which was really great, nice environment & cool, really great food. Thursday I finally had a night to myself, I was pretty tired from the week & had a lot this weekend so I chilled & gamed for a bit, took it easy. Friday had lunch with Ed, again I might talk about that later but I'm still really blessed to be working with him. Friday night was my ugly christmas sweater games night which I think turned out really well! 9 people including me, jeremiah brought his friend Dan, steven, amanda, shane who came 2 hours late... that was another whole other story of annoyance & triggering for me, Kamber, amber & naythan. It was fun, started around 6/6:30 & everyone stayed till like midnight so it was a lot of fun. Saturday I chilled for day, Marc forgot about our facetime which sucks but whatever. Was supposed to go to anneriekes to decorate the tree but didn't want to be around that environment again which I think I forgot to mention anyways that I went for dinner two weeks ago & it was just a lot to take in & I'm tired of talking about Steve. Anyway I went to amber & naythans instead with nova, nova did so good with Rue, it was honestly so sweet watching nova play again & be so gentle with her, made me so happy. We played catan & had a really great night. Amber also got me the exit game advent calendar that were all in a challenge together, like 4 of us couples minus mine of course & that's super fun so far, proud that I've solved the first two alone with no hints! Anyways, love those people so much. Today, sunday, went to 8:30am service which was so good again. I really love this church I think & want to stay in it. Its so lively & actually makes me want to lean into God when I leave & "sets my heart on fire" again feeling. Went to brunch with Daniel at Diner Deluxe which was great again, he's a good guy. Hes really smart & very... aware. Its a breath of fresh air & its really nice to be able to talk to someone emotionally on the same page especially about relationships & the struggles. Then mom surprised me at being at my house after so we could go for a walk & we had some good conversation. Then went to a movie with steven & amanda which was good so im finally relaxing now winding down for bed. This week will be busy again & the weekend but then it get's quiet which I think Im finally looking forward too.

[ademonandherbentley]

Alright so I was letting thought bounce around in my head like screensaver logos and the Pirate Brainrot collided with the first part of this post and gave me Stede: newly out, newly divorced, but not yet with the means to break away from the life his father set up for him and thus still at the company he’s worked for all his life.

After dinner drinks have led to a crowd “slumming it” (their words) at a local bar that’s a bit of a dive and Stede has been rather unsubtly gazing at the long-haired, tattooed bar tender all evening. Bored and always down to humiliate Stede, one of the Badminton twins (which one? Who can every say, they’re chronically interchangeable) bets him a slightly extortionate amount of money that he can’t get Bartenders number.

Now, Stede might have a black hole of self-esteem that means he’d never dream of going for a guy that obviously out of his league, but he’s stubborn in the face of a challenge and a past master at thinking outside the box. So after a moment’s thought he wanders over to Hot Bartender and asks him if he’d like to make some easy money - all he has to do is smile like Stede said something charming and give him a fake number to show his friends. Easy.

Ed has been at this game a long time; he can do this bartending stuff in his sleep with his arms tied behind his back, and he’s well used to being propositioned on the job. However, someone coming up to him, seemingly all in innocence, and inviting him to be part of a scheme? A scheme to screw over a rich asshole, no less? That’s a novelty.

You also don’t get as far in this world as Ed has without being a pretty shrewd judge of character, and his gut is telling him that Stede might be with the jerks in the corner but he’s not really one of them (it has nothing to do with how easy on the eyes he is, thanks very much) so he flashes his most winning smile, scrawls some random digits on a napkin, and tells Stede that if he really wants to sell the ruse he’s welcome to ditch the Trust Fund Squad and come hang with him the rest of the night.

To his surprise, Stede does just that - he returns to his table long enough to present the number and collect their winnings, then he’s right back. Turns out Ed made the right call: Stede is whip-smart and funny and weird as all fuck and seems to enjoy talking to Ed, so much so that he stay even when Ed has to keep leaving him alone to actually do his job. Ed laughs more in a few hours of his company than he has in months, and Stede commentary about his colleagues is more brutal than Ed could ever have predicted it would be.

Ed’s having such a good time that it isn’t until Stede is being pulled out the door by his old crowd (flashing a knee-weakening smile on the way out) that he remembers that the number he gave him earlier in the evening wasn’t his real one.

In that moment, he’s never regretted anything more.

[izzy-b-hands]

an all at once nsfw mix of stizzy, steddyhands, and whatever we'd wanna push together to call Ed/Pete/Lucius with an initial touch of Ed/Lucius (this is the Horniest sketching session, u gotta understand)

came (ha) abt bc i wanted to write abt cock worship which made me think stizzy and then suddenly the rest was here too lol, I got no other explanation to offer ajsjjdnfgj

---

It undoes him.

It's as much the actions themselves as simply how relaxed and...pliable feels the wrong word, but Izzy just...is.

Sat between his legs on the floor, face nuzzling into him well before he's hard. Quiet but for happy little murmurs and sighs and moans and he's meant to be focusing on holding this pose for Lucius-

"Wiggle if you need," Lucius cuts into his train of thought. "It won't ruin things for me."

"I'm sure it won't," Stede rolls his eyes. "Enjoying the show?"

"Not as much as Ed, but yeah."

Ed, for his part, has attempted to focus on the occasional interruption from Olu or anyone else on the crew actually out on deck working.

But his eyes don't drift too far from the scene in front of him, and the borrowed silk trousers of Stede's make his interest very clear and prominent.

Izzy sighs and lays his head on Stede's mostly bare inner thigh (it's mesh and lace underthings and thigh highs, but the latter have rolled down just a bit) and the exhalation on his skin nearly ends him.

"Actually, if I can get most of the general forms down now-"

"Then you could finish the rest later?" Ed asks, leaning down to peer at the in progress work.

"I can tell when my subjects need a break," Lucius continues. "Or when they're about to change the scene I'm trying to draw out and they can't help themselves."

Izzy mouths over his cock, the mesh not nearly covering enough. He may as well be wearing nothing at all.

"Like that," Lucius grins. "Five more minutes, you two."

"Fine," Izzy grumbles, but his eyes meet Stede's. "It'll be worth the wait."

He manages a barely audible moan in reply, and lets himself reach down to cradle Izzy's chin and face in his hand.

Izzy melts into the touch, and he whimpers.

"Would it be mean to do a countdown?" Lucius chuckles.

"Got it covered," Ed's eyes shine. "Four minutes, boys."

"Ed."

"You can handle four minutes," Ed continues, and after Lucius gives him a giggle and nod, drops into a chair near them.

Lucius cackles when Ed's legs spread and he palms at his cock.

"You're going to kill them in four minutes time. Might take me out as well, as it happens..."

"Would Pete mind?" Ed's brow raises.

"I think he'd want to be included, honestly."

"We could do that," Ed says. "These two will be busy with each other more than us anyway, at first. Three of us could keep each other company while they're-"

"A few more lines, and then we'll take a break and I'll go get him and-" Lucius pauses. "You really are so fucking pretty."

"Still fuckable after-"

"If I didn't want to fuck anyone who had tried to kill me before, then I'd never get laid," Lucius scoffs. "So yes, very much so."

"Awww."

"You're terrible," he chuckles.

"Lucius," Stede can't help but tease. "You've stopped drawing."

"Ah! I have, yes. Three minutes, right?"

Ed nods and opens up the front flap on his trousers. "Do you guys mind if-"

"Please do," Izzy interrupts and his eyes flutter shut as he rests his head in Stede's grasp. "To think I put off this sketching business for so long-"

"I said you'd like it," Lucius says. "But no, he had to argue with me at first-"

"Take comfort knowing your other captain will keep me from any arguing tonight," Izzy continues. "My mouth will be too busy for it."

"How many minutes left?" Stede asks.

"Not quite two," Ed replies, hand lazily playing with his half hard cock. "Only two minutes, love."

Izzy laughs when he whimpers, but it's easy enough to gently dig a nail into his cheek, not enough to mark or hurt badly. Just a brief sting that makes Izzy hiss.

He moves to kiss Stede's palm, and the minutes no longer matter.

"Thank fuck," Lucius sighs happily as Stede helps Izzy into his lap. "Glad you two broke first. Ed, I'll go get Pete-"

He pauses, and Stede can't help but comment.

"You don't want to wait, do you?"

"I don't, but he'll be a bit hurt if he isn't here to watch me suck his idol's cock."

Ed snorts. "Idol?"

"Okay, maybe too strong a word, but the point is," Lucius smiles. "He'll want to be present for the whole thing. That said-"

He walks over quickly, leans down to kiss Ed hard, then stands back up.

"God, it was better than I expected. I'll be right back with him."

"I'm not getting up to lock the door this time," Ed says. "Can we just make them do it when they come in?"

"I think so," Stede nods, but he can admit he's distracted by Izzy grinding on his lap, nipping at his neck in between kisses. "I mean, they'll hear us, I'm sure-"

"They certainly fucking will," Izzy chuckles. "We did get complaints last time. Might do to be more mindful, now."

"Says the man who can't stay quiet when I'm-" Stede starts, but the door to their quarters swings open.

"Oh!" Pete blushes ever so slightly. "You weren't kidding, everything is very much already-"

"Get your clothes off," Lucius is breathless in between kisses to Pete, and tossing his own clothes aside. "Ah, could I ask you to lock the door too?"

"I would do nearly anything for you," Pete murmurs. "I think I can handle locking a door."

"Good. The less interruptions the better."

It's the best sort of hedonistic: the ship is under control with Olu and Jim and the rest of the crew, and they're free to take the time to-

Well. There are flowery terms that would sound better in his journal recounting of it all. But the most honest is the most blunt:

That they're free to take the time to fuck each other until they can't see straight, and get back to the sketching after.

Everyone else understands; they've either had their own night like this with the three of them (Ed, himself, and Izzy specifically) already, or know one might be coming up soon with the second run of group sketches Lucius is doing (and that might well include Lucius and Pete again, thank fuck they've stolen more couches recently.)

It keeps things fair and relaxed and the rest of his thoughts drift off at the sight of Lucius sucking Ed's cock, Ed pulling Pete down onto the couch for a kiss, and Izzy...

Izzy whining in his ear for more, cock already leaking through the mesh barely there material covering it.

It's good luck none of them mind taking breaks in between moments with each other, because he's so wonderfully close to being that particular sort of undone, and he can tell he'll take Izzy with him when he goes.

[sortofanobsession]

Death is in the Details - Our Flag Means Death (Post Season 1 fic) Part 5

 (Ao3) Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6

Summary: The search for the not-so-dead Gentleman Pirate continues. Izzy Hands still can't know. Stede and Oluwande have a chat about their search for Blackbeard. Jim and Frenchie finally get a solid lead.

(Spoilers of you haven’t watched the full season)

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long. I have been avoiding the trailer for the new season because I wanted to finish this. The last chapter is almost done. Enjoy!

wordcount: 1k+

Warnings: Mentions of violence, threats, anger, resentment, doubt and depression. Typical Pirate stuff.

Chapter 5: Secret Hunt

"The fuck took you so-"

A blade flew past Izzy Hands' face and into the wood behind him. 

"Ask that one more time, and I'll have Jim here feed you your own tongue," Blackbeard stated. 

"You're fucking late," Hands asserts. 

"I'm the fucking captain!" Blackbeard snaps. "My time is the only time! Fucking mind your place."

Blackbeard storms towards his cabin, only stopping to give orders. He sends them towards a popular seaway that wasn't far from what little they knew of Stede's possible whereabouts. Any questions were met with malicious answers that boil down to "BECAUSE I'M THE FUCKING CAPTAIN!"

The crew had heard rumors that the Revenge was seen in waters it wouldn't usually be. Rumors that Blackbeard was more vicious and unhinged than ever. And that hadn't sat well with Stede Bonnet. So they kept going. Following every lead they had. To hear that Blackbeard had been seen with a silent and lithe bladesman and a sharp-witted pirate with an affinity for music in his company, more so than his first mate, gave Stede some hope that the Ed he knew was still there. He hoped that meant that Jim and Frenchie were more than okay. That they had not only Ed's trust but his protection and vice versa. That the people he was trying so desperately to reach were still together. He had to keep trying. If he failed, then what was the point of making things right? Sure, most of his crew was alive and on a ship because he found them. He doesn't have their death on his conscience. He'd made things right for his family and most of his crew to some extent. But he would never sleep well again if he didn't fix the biggest thing he broke. Ed Teach. He hadn't meant to break the man known as Blackbeard, but he had. And that was just not something he could live with. If he could fix the remaining wrongs with his crew in the process, he would. But Ed was his priority. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. 

"What are we going to do about Izzy Hands?" Oluwande asked. "Word is he is still his first mate."

"Best bet," Stede says, "don't let him get to you or kill you. Worst, kill him first."

"Not very helpful," Wee John points out.

"Well, keep an extra blade on you," Stede says. "Like Jim would. Or something for a fight. If Izzy Hands wants a fight, well, he'll finally get one. That better?"

That seemed to raise their spirits a bit. The idea of them actually possibly being prepared for Hands' treachery was good in their book. And even having the upper hand because Hands thinks they are dead. The element of surprise was on their side. 

"You know if everyone thinks you're dead, then so does Ed, right?" Olu points out when it was just he and Stede. "I know he thinks we are."

"I know," Stede says in a forlorn tone. "But we will fix it."

"And if he kills you?" Olu asks. "Blackbeard, that is."

"If that's what he wants, then so be it," Stede says.

"You wouldn't put up a fight at all, would you?"

"Fight Ed? Don't think I could if I wanted to."

"And you don't want to, do you?"

"Not a bit, no," Stede said with more conviction than Olu had seen from the Gentleman Pirate. That wasn't saying much since Olu hadn't ever thought Stede Bonnet was much before, not like this. 

"So your plan is to just keep going until we find Blackbeard, as we have since we got here," Olu says, gesturing to the ship they are on. 

"Correct," Stede nods. 

"Fight the crew of the Revenge, the same crew that was more than willing to kill all of us."

"If we have to, and I'll deal with Izzy Hands," Stede insists.

"You, you're going to kill Izzy Hands yourself?" Olu sounds skeptical at best.

"Well, he betrayed Ed, turned me over to the crown, and left you all for dead. Yes, if it needs to be done. I'll do it."

"Technically, Blackbeard ordered it," Olu points out.

"And that's on me, it seems," Stede says. 

"Nah, that was all him."

"I appreciate your loyalty, my good friend, but Ed's actions come from my betrayal."

"But you didn't actually betray him. Izzy Hands did. And look what happened."

"Yes, but he doesn't know that. Ed thinks I left him to go home to my wife and died. Can you blame him?"

"He left us for dead, so, uh, YES! YES, I CAN!" Olu snaps. "HE KILLED LUCIUS!

"Alright, that's fair," Stede laments. "And that does pain me. Lucius was my friend. He was a very good scribe. And he is gone because of me. I can't undo that."

"You really aren't going to admit he is a right bastard and made his own choices and chose to murder your friends," Olu says with a sigh. 

"I'm sorry, Oluwande, I truly am, and I'm trying to-"

"Yeah, yeah, you are trying to make things right. We all get it. But this might be one giant suicide mission. Because that ruthless bastard has lived up to his name. And his first mate wants your head on a spike and will gleefully watch Blackbeard gut you before you can utter a fancy apology."

"Colorful image, but fair." Stede agrees. "I'm not afraid of them."

"You should be!" Olu reiterates. 

"Probably, but I'm not. Izzy Hands cannot do much worse than he already has. And Ed, well, if Ed wants me dead, then I'd already be dead."

"He already thinks you are," Olu reminds him. The man felt like they were talking in circles again. 

"Exactly, maybe he'll be happy to see me," Stede says hopefully.

"Or he'll see it as another betrayal."

"Maybe, won't know until we find them. So keep up the good work." Stede says with finality. Olu shakes his head but goes to check on the rest of the crew. This could get them all killed but what do they have to lose? Their friends were still there. Jim was still there. They were already left for dead. They might as well get some revenge like real pirates. 

Frenchie and Jim continue to collect what information they can glean from the few ships they pillage as they secretly continue the search for their friends. Weeks go by until while raiding an English Merchant vessel, Frenchie and Jim hear a man lament about them being the second pirates to raid them and that they didn't have shit, so Blackbeard would probably just slaughter them all. But what really caught the pair's attention was when the man mentioned a key feature of the pirate's ship.

"What kind of pirate flag has a stupid full on it? Useless creatures," the man had said. Frenchie looks at Jim. Without hesitation, Jim grabs the man by his collar and drags him to Blackbeard. Luckily, or by Blackbeard's command, they didn't know or really care. Izzy Hands was angrily overseeing the lackluster hold and offloading what might still have value. Blackbeard had been watching the chaos from the top deck. The captain raises a brow as Jim kicks the man's knees, so he kneels before Ed. Jim nods at Frenchie as they keep a knife to the sailor's neck. 

"This man may know something about a certain ship we have been looking for," Frenchie says. 

Blackbeard narrows his intimidating glare at the man on his knees. 

"Speak now, or I will remove the skin from your bones while you beg for death," the Kraken threatens. 

And the man starts babbling and begging about things Ed couldn't care a bit about, and it was trying his patience. Blackbeard's blade digs into the man's shoulder with an angry growl. 

"You might want to tell him about the ship with the bird on the flag, the one you mentioned before," Frenchie tells him. 

And the man does. He tells them about how they were raided days before by a pirate ship with a blonde man who was asking questions about recent attacks. Ed's attacks. Something twists in the pirate captain's chest as the man describes Stede almost exactly as Ed remembered him. Almost. Again, he was described as less of a gentleman, but it was still undeniable. If this man was talking about this, the others might try and use this info for mercy. If Izzy found out that Stede and possibly the crew were alive, bad things could happen. He couldn't risk it. Ed pulled away to come up with a plan as Frenchie asked questions about the rest of the pirate crew. Frenchie genuinely grinned when the man talked of what was very clearly his mates. Jim even seemed a bit uplifted. 

"Kill them all," Ed orders.

"What?" Frenchie asks. 

"Izzy can't know any of this," Ed says. "We have what we need, even which way they went, this stays with us, which means…"

"Dead men can't betray you," Jim says.

"Exactly," Ed says. He mentally pulls back on the Blackbeard persona, runs the man through with his sword, and has the two throw him overboard before he leaves to dispatch as many of the merchant crew as he gave the word to slaughter everyone. Frenchie looks a bit unsure as he looks at Jim.

"Fucking bastard isn't wrong," Jim acknowledges. 

"We did tell him to keep up the act," Frenchie says. 

"Burn and sink her!" Blackbeard commands. A few pirates cheer. 

As soon as the Revenge is some distance from the burning vessel, Blackbeard orders them after the commandeered ship he was after. When Izzy asks him why, Ed tells him that there was something valuable on that ship that was taken from the ship they just sank. And Ed wanted it. That seemed to satisfy Izzy. Izzy sets the crew to work as Ed retires to his cabin. He sneaks into the secret room that still holds some reminders of Stede, and Ed laughs. He laughed because this was insane. He had found a real lead. He could find Stede now. He looks at himself in the mirror and scrubs at his khol-covered face. A few years fall as he scrubs harder. He might actually see Stede. Not long ago, he had thought he would never get this chance. But what was he going to do when he did see him? He would demand answers. But something twisted inside him again. What would he do if he didn't like Stede's answers? What if Stede didn't-

No, he would deal with it when he found them.