#i think the prevalence at least in fandom spaces

[ryssabrin]

incredibly cold take but i really do not understand how bl*od/weave became the most popular origin/origin ship, both for each character or like. just in general. like they both make way more sense in a romance with wyll than with each other and more compelling cases could also def be made for gale/shadowheart (both having a crisis of faith and struggling to define their identity outside of said faith) and astarion/karlach (touch-averse vs touch-starved and jaded pessimism vs boundless optimism). hell i'd even see gale/lae'zel before i'd see gale with astarion. they simply do not like or respect each other. it's literally anders/fenris all over again tbh.

[utilitycaster]

Hi! Hope you don’t mind me asking but, I’ve seen you comment about a “fjord moon” theory every so often in your tags, and I’m quite curious what’s it about? I don’t think I’ve ever heard about it, is it something more prevalent in twitter spaces?

It started in Reddit spaces but it had a moment within the fandom at large during Campaign 2, especially after a YouTube video surfaced shortly after the campaign had come back from hiatus in August 2020. It hasn't come up lately since Campaign 3's plot pretty thoroughly debunked it, which wasn't necessary for reasons I will cover below.

I talked about how stupid it was at the time, and will do so again but I don't feel like looking back through my archives to find that post, so: the idea was that Fjord was from Ruidus. I call it a theory because its creators called it a theory but it was really just a lot of incoherent yelling that unfortunately happened to fall into the hands of a prolific and popular but talentless video maker and was boosted by a prolific and popular but deeply stupid figure on CR Twitter.

You can read it here but in short he basis was that Fjord was actually a Spelljammer Space Orc (Scro; yes this is just Orcs backwards; Spelljammer is not exactly the most brilliant of concepts) because he was intelligent and walked upright, ignoring that Spelljammer was, at the time, from D&D 2e only which can generously be described as "wicked racist in the depiction of orcs". Not that 5e is not without its foibles, but it had largely 86-ed the worst of the racism that pervaded earlier orc depictions. Also Garthok pre-dated Fjord and was a half-orc with the same intelligence, but what are facts to an idiot. So anyway this guy working off a deeply racist older concept for orcs spun this into a wild conspiracy theory involving the fact that Travis likes Dragonball Z; something about the film Spaceballs (as far as I know Travis has said absolutely nothing about this, this is just that the Mel Brooks Star Wars parody and my personal childhood favorite Spaceballs exists I think?) and various other random pulls from science fiction media. This guy asked a question at a panel and mistook the cast looking at him like he had lost the plot as a sign he was onto something. Somehow, people listened to him.

Here's the thing about theorycraft. It is more important, in writing a theory, that you base it on evidence than that you get it correct. Any dipshit can guess and any lucky dipshit can guess correctly, but if you show that you can't structure an argument for beans, anyone who can structure an argument for beans will rightfully look at you and say "well, they predicted something once, but that's a fucking fluke because they're a fucking joke." Theories should explain something that needs explanation (Fjord having an INT of 14 and the name Fjord and being an orphan does not). They should not solely rest on things the cast likes or things that merely exist in-world and certainly not from Spaceballs and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the connection of which to Critical Role in that Reddit post is not explained, ever.

To give some examples of good, mediocre, and bad but at least not nearly that bad theorycraft: the theory that Ashton was a meteor that was around early in C3 is in my mind not very good, but at least it fits within Exandria canon and explained something about Ashton needing explanation at the time. The theory that The Emissary is the source of the stasis bubbles is in my mind a very good one explaining several key mysteries (source of stasis bubbles; why Erathis sent him rather than coming himself). The theory that Bor'Dor was a dog was fucking stupid and made no sense nor did it explain anything that needed explanation (and also wildly misjudged how border collies behave) but did at least not say "also, the TV show Lassie...exists in our reality, and this is evidence" The Fjord Moon Theory is maybe the stupidest and worst CR theory I've seen in my entire life, and it's up there for fandom theories over all. I get that it was August 2020 and I don't begrudge people who were very bored and scared from joking about it while not taking it seriously, but I do begrudge those who did take it seriously because like, come on.

Anyway, I bring it up in tags sometimes because many of the worst C3 takes on Twitter that make it to me via "can you fucking believe this" screenshots in the groupchat are either started or propagated by Former Moon Theory People.

[jessaerys]

that poll made me think of this excellent post by @magicaii re: mello’s fanon interpretation as overly emotional, and i broadly agree with all the points made, but i would also like to posit that if one subscribes to the hypothesis that mello and near grew up in a somewhat foster-sibling-like environment (which seems to already be almost universally accepted in the matt-mello relationship. is it even canon that they were roommates? it is so prevalent in the fandom that i forgot to even question it. but i digress) 

in a foster-sibling-like environment at the orphanage a certain level of childhood intimacy would be inescapable between mello and near just by virtue of growing up together: having meals together, attending the same classes, sharing caretakers and chores, being teamed up by teachers during assignments, existing in the same recreational spaces, etc. even if they were never particularly friendly with each other, they would inevitably, perhaps even unwittingly, develop some kind of understanding (“something identical in them […] something which would dart to one face, then to the other, depending on an expression or a trick of the light or the angle at which a head was cocked”) by virtue of being intellectual equals above the rest of their peers. they are, after all, foils to the L-light relationship.

in fact i find it harder to believe that they would not have interacted often at wammy’s. being slated to become and in competition for the role of L’s successor, their tutors would have set them up to push each other through special assignments/tests/projects. it is a highly effective didactic tool used in all sorts of competitive and academic environments. mello’s “you know near and i don’t get along” would be thoroughly justified: who amongst us would not hate being Assigned Partners At School with your (self-declared) nemesis!  roger knows this! he has probably threatened mello with a get-along-t-shirt! mello’s emphasis on you know is not clunky as-you-know exposition but an exasperated teenager going UGHH MOM! at a guardian that keeps refusing to acknowledge mello's protests

all of this is to say that, with this context in mind, i can imagine mello lightly “bullying”⁽¹⁾ near not because he wants to make a punching bag out of him but because in the way kids naturally learn through play and social interaction, he'd be feeling for his advantages over near (being more athletic, better with people, easier to get along with, etc) debatably he might even want to establish/prove these differences in the social hierarchy at wammy’s (given his high “social life” stats in dn13:htr) it is these differences (that near is too passive, emotionless, haughty, at least in mello’s head) which seem to frustrate mello the most, so it doesn’t strike me as out of character to think the boy who is introduced hitting someone with a ball and tugging at someone else's hair would surrender to his id⁽²⁾ and try to get a rise out of near, that he’d want to bring near down to everyone else’s “level"

and perhaps this is the shipping goggles i have on but there is something thoroughly intoxicating about being the center of attention of someone who you passionately resent when you are undoubtedly on top.⁽³⁾ you could argue mello subconsciously desires near’s admiration and either refuses to see it whenever it is there (“near told me i did good job, the condescending dick”) or near is absolute shit at communicating it (“your thought process in this essay was almost impossible to follow” <- badly worded compliment), so mello veers for the next best thing: near’s attention. much like with a bad cat, negative attention is still attention, and on god he is getting his fix of being so fucking annoying (look at me, why won't you look at me!) wherever he can get it

-

⁽¹⁾ie. wrestling him down in the playground, toppling over his towers, hiding favorite toys, pulling his hair, locking him in closets etc. nothing life-threatening or overly painful; the mean teasing of a resentful older brother, not the harassing of a bloodthirsty middle school terrorist 

⁽²⁾especially when they are younger mello would have far less developed self control lol. by the time we first meet them, at 13 and 15, this light bullying would've been largely a thing of the past, with mello becoming gradually more distant around the time he transitions into brooding teenagehood while near is still a kid, which would've made leaving wammy's far easier (i also think that mello would firmly believe that he has earned the right to bother near while everyone else has not and he WILL be fighting them about it. only he can mess with near, thank you very much. typical older brother behavior. but this post is already too long)

⁽³⁾ no. i shan't say it

[appleballad]

I don't use twitter much anymore (since I got suspended for no reason lol) but I just wanna talk about the /morston bashing/.... It is unbearable on that app. People give the most asinine reasons why shipping morston or really anything that they personally dislike makes you morally corrupt in real life and deserving of harassment. It's really repetitive atp and I roll my eyes at it but all these years later and it's still very much prevalent.

So out of fear of being cancelled there is a severe lack of discourse and in-depth analysis surrounding John/Arthur's dynamic... and vandermorgan too, don't get me started on that.... Everyone loses their hair over a mildly "problematic" fictional relationship. Bunch of fake fujoshis.

It's always selective outrage, depending on what the majority in a certain fandom decides to like and hate on because most claims that deem ships problematic have actually no validity to them.

Take me back to the good old days when it was perfectly normal to fangirl over even the most obscure crack ship. When fiction was just fiction and not a reflection of your morals and political identity.

It's the same with liking villain characters. "you can't like this character!! bc he's EVIL!1!! he did this nd that ur just as evil for liking them you deserve to be tortured and stoned to death blah blah blah"

How utterly boring, and again it doesn't apply to every morally grey character. It hinges on the opinion of which character/ship the majority in a particular fandom elect to unequivocally bully

It's entirely subjective policing, which is absolutely ridiculous. Where do you actually draw the line?

I say if you are unable to engage with fiction on a level that's separate and disconnected from reality, if morally grey fiction corrupts your very soul and compels you act and behave in indecent ways, you should stop consuming it entirely.

Stick to your children's fables, kid.

None of this has any affect on my love for morston, in fact it strengthens it LOL. Shipping morston becomes almost like an act of defiance.

I'm grateful that at least on Tumblr and other spaces I can enjoy the fan art, fanfics or comics and knowing someone out there is raging and seething at the sight of it is kinda hilarious so it makes it all the more enjoyable. It's when they decide to feign moral superiority and launch their sheep following to attack and harass you with their nasty words wishing actual death on you irl, that is when it does get under my skin. That is just too far. But I think that is a reasonable reaction for me to have.

[tearwolfe]

I'll borrow a warrior cats book from the library and see how it is before buying a book.. shivers in fear, i did not know that..

yeah for sure do not buy them. there's also a bunch of free PDFs online you can read!! or check them out through libby or whatever online library service your local library uses if you don't mind reading from your phone.

gonna use this chance to highlight issues with warriors under the cut!! because i've spent so much time being with this series i have a lot of thoughts. i want to let you know i am not trying to cancel warriors or anything, there's just a lot of issues and i like talking about it.

CW: misogyny, pedophilia, ablism, racism

Okay, we're going to start with the more annoying aspects. First of all, Warriors is written by a ton of different people. They have the main writers outline the plot, and there's a bunch of other people that fill in all the empty space. Kind of an interesting way to do it, but that's why Warriors is able to publish several books a year. Erin Hunter is just a penname for a group.

INCONSISTENCIES

Why do I bring this up, what's the issue? The inconsistencies, dude. There's so many. Character appearances change between books. Dovewing's eye color changes frequently, for example, to the point where there was an internet war about how she would be represented on the Warriors Wiki. Another example is Mapleshade, a cat that's been prevalent as a villain since Crookedstar's Promise. In that book, she's referred to as a ginger-and-white she-cat, but after that she's been described as a calico (er, tortishelle-and-white, because Erin Hunter is somehow allergic to the word calico). Appearances aren't the only inconsistency. Character personalities are a big issue. After the first arc especially, characters will lose what charm they had in their personalities. Suddenly Spottedleaf is in love with Fireheart/star after she dies, suddenly Yellowfang is unwelcoming towards cats who find themselves breaking the Warrior Code (despite being a codebreaker herself and having compassion toward other cats while she was alive). The authors also seem to have trouble keeping track of characters. On one page Sandstorm leaves camp to go on patrol, and a paragraph later she is seen STILL in camp, talking to someone, despite having been written to leave camp. It's a very bizarre series to read. (Other inconsistencies include miswriting names [Ravepaw incident], using the wrong pronouns, and entirely confusing cats between each other). Heavystep also died a few times because the Erins forgot that he died.

MISOGYNY

Outside of poor writing, we're hit with misogyny. Main female characters, in POV, are written at least a little bit better than any of the other she-cats. However, as soon as the next arc starts and she's put out of the limelight, the authors have to give her a mate, give her kits, and make her a mother. There is only ONE POV she-cat I can think of that didn't die and never had kits. Twigbranch is literally the only one. This isn't a dig at being a mother at all, however whenever the Erins DO make a former main character a mother, that's the only trait they give them. Rarely do these she-cats continue to carry the personalities they were given initially.

It's not even a secret that the fandom dislikes when every she-cat is boiled down to being just a babymaker. The Erins literally killed off a she-cat because the fans didn't like the fact that her only personality trait was mom. Yes, this actually did happen.

There's lots of victim-blaming misogyny with whatever is going on between Squirrelflight and Bramblestar and between Leafpool and StarClan. Bramblestar will literally say the worst things to Squirrelflight and the narrative makes it seem like he's in the right. It's not wrong to display unhealthy relationships in media, but if you're writing a KID'S SERIES, it's extremely irresponsible to constantly write the victim as being wrong. This applies to how StarClan blames Leafpool for everything that's happened to her, despite the fact that Crowfeather was also a part of the equation.

Don't even get me started about Spottedleaf's Heart. In summary, Spottedleaf was groomed by Thisteclaw from when she was a kit (and he was a Warrior), and the narrative only makes Thistleclaw a bad guy because he was training in the Dark Forest, not because he is a predator.

ABLEISM

It's absolutely crazy how ableist this series is. In arc one, we have Brightpaw, an apprentice who gets mauled by dogs, and as Bluestar watched, as what she thought was going to be her death bed, she decided to give her her warrior name- a name that she would be stuck with in StarClan. She chose "Lostface." Brightpaw would eventually recover, loosing one of her eyes in the attack, and would live with being called Lostface until Firestar was able to rename her (to Brightheart). The whole renaming thing feels gross enough, but Brightheart is probably the best case scenario of ableism in Warriors, as she was allowed to function as a regular Warrior in the clan. Cinderpelt wasn't so lucky. She was a Warrior apprentice who got hit by a car, mangling her leg. She was then forced to become a Medicine Cat because she "couldn't hunt or fight" (despite the fact that real world cats are able to function completely normally while missing a limb). Longtail lost his vision in a fight with rabbits and he was retired early to the elder's den, despite wanting to be a Warrior. Jayfeather was blind, so he was made a Medicine Cat despite wanting to be a Warrior. Briarlight was paralyzed, so she was put in the Medicine Cat den most of the time despite wanting to be a Warrior. This is a very common theme in the series. Any cat who isn't fully able-bodied is often made to be a Medicine Cat or an Elder, even if that's not what they want. Literally every single Medicine Cat in ThunderClan since Spottedleaf through to Alderheart never wanted to be a Medicine Cat.

Being a Medicine Cat isn't supposed to be a bad role, but the way Warriors uses it as a cop-out to make disabled cats have a more "plot interesting" role without allowing them to be a Warrior is really weird.

ANTI-INDIGENOUS WRITING

I'm not the most knowledgeable person on this topic, however, many Indigenous readers have brought up a lot of issues the series has in terms of being culturally insensitive to native tribes. There's a well-written document that explains this in full detail.

IT'S KIND OF JUST BAD?

The writing isn't good. This goes back to the multi-writer issue. These people can't keep track of their characters or plot, so a lot of things just sort of fall flat. The best plotlines can be found in some of the novellas and graphic novels, and then I think it's because they're mostly written by one person.

How come StarClan can be so vague to living cats, but when we get POV in StarClan, they just act like normal cats? How come Ashfur randomly was super powerful in the Dark Forest/StarClan, while every other cat wasn't? There's just a lot of unexplained stuff, it's very weird.

Warriors is a very interesting series because it's pretty bad yet the fandom is huge. I definitely recommend watching Warriors Multi-Animator-Projects, reading fancomics, and fix-it fanfics instead of actually reading the books. The fans are so, so talented, it's crazy how a never-ending series of children's cat books has created such an insane fanbase.

[bookwyrminspiration]

TLT's Religion + Trauma Survey Results!

About a month ago, I shared a survey regarding the impact of TLT's religion on fans and specifically fans with self-identified religious trauma. This was part of a larger group project for a class, but a handful of people were interested in knowing the results, so here they are!

Before we start: this was a very informal project and necessarily limited. Response options were limited, it didn't inquire into demographic information, data was analyzed manually, and Christianity was the focus/frequently presumed given its global prevalence and relation to the story. Several avenues of analysis weren't pursued given time and project constraints, so please keep all this in mind

The survey was open for about a week and received 965 responses

First, respondents were asked on a scale of 1-4 "Does The Locked Tomb's use or depiction of religion impact your reading experience?" From the entire pool, 83.6% rated it as at least slightly impactful (further broken down in the graph), and 97.4% indicated this was a positive impact.

In open response, respondents listed some reasons why, ranging from: "“it's just a part of the story” to “I enjoy the examination of the ways religion can shape someone's world view, or be used to manipulate and control” and "Religion is my autistic special interest and I love fictional religions!"

Respondents were then asked "Do you have, in your opinion, religious trauma?" The qualifications of religious trauma were intentionally non-specified and left to respondents discretion.

358 respondents, 37.1%, marked yes

This specific group of 358 were asked if this religious trauma impacted their reading of TLT. 66.1% indicated that it did.

Open response answers elaborated on this, saying: “I think reading it is cathartic for me,” “Space trauma lets me look at my real trauma without me or real people being hurt in it,” and “making religion a part of the narrative and drawing out the themes in a way that can be analyzed and picked apart made my experience with religion something I could look at in a similar way.”

The first question from the survey was then returned to, and the ratings of the 1-4 scale were looked at solely in the group of 358 respondents with self-identified religious trauma.

Of these, 90.3% marked a 2 or higher (compared to 83.6); 15% marked a 2 (compared to 22.1%), 31% marked a 3 (compared to 33%), and 44.3% marked a 4 (compared to 28.6%). Pardon the quick graph, as I made it in about 3 minutes specifically for this

Respondents with religious trauma, on average, rated the series' depiction of religion as more impactful to their reading experience than respondents without.

All respondents were then asked, "Has TLT helped you challenge or reinforce your ideas of and experiences with religion?"

Respondents elaborated that: "it reinforced my ideas of religion because I see religion as a means of controlling people, often abusive, and rooted in the supernatural" or "It challenged me to consider how religion can be both a positive force and a hurtful institution. I knew this to a degree already, having experienced both, but reading about it helped reinforce that nuance."

Respondents were then asked on a scale of 1-5, "Does the original text or the fandom contribute more to challenging or reinforcing ideas of and experiences with religion?" 1 is individual text only, and 5 is fandom only.

The majority of respondents indicated an equal impact from the original text and the fandom, however very few people were impacted only by the fandom (1.4%) compared to the number only impacted by the text (13.8%). This wasn't investigated further.

Finally, respondents were asked what religion they'd been referring to or thinking of when they'd been answering the above questions. The vast majority indicated Christianity or Catholicism, though we did not count exactly how many of each; it was clear it was the majority, and that sufficed for our purposes. A larger, more thorough study would be needed to look at Non-Christian/Catholic respondents' experiences in comparison.

The conclusion of all of this was that, as predicted, fans of TLT with self-identified religious trauma were more impacted by the series' use and depiction of religion. This was via catharsis, sympathy, identifying with the characters, and more.

The study demonstrates a function of speculative fiction that allows readers to engage with and process difficult topics (such as religious trauma) though a protected, distanced lens where no one real is hurt. This can be taken beyond TLT and to the genre as a whole, which is often dismissed as less literary or worthy of study than its classical counterparts, an opinion the surveyors argue against.

If you've made it to the end here, thank you again for all the responses and help! I hope you've enjoyed the results, and if there are any further questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer them. Upfront, yes there were 2 other components to the project (looking at queer demographics for the fandom and analyzing common themes in fanart and fic); those were my groupmates' sections, so I haven't shared them, but if you're curious I can always ask them if they'd be open to sharing :)

[erraticprocrastinator]

Maybe I’m imagining it, but am I the only one who’s noticed a significant shift in fandom culture very recently?

This is coming from someone who’s “grown up” with modern fandom culture, and I’m not even talking about the differences between now and six years ago, when I first started participating in fandom spaces. I mean recently as in the past few months, maybe the last year? Again, maybe this is just in my head, but, I swear, I feel like I’ve been seeing a bigger and bigger division between creators (fan artists, fic writers etc) and audiences (readers etc) across multiple fandoms and in general fan spaces, too.

In particular, it feels like reader entitlement when it comes to fanfics is becoming much more prevalent than I’m used to seeing. I’ve been coming across so many posts, across multiple platforms, trying to justify re-uploading others’ work, coming after authors who orphan or (god forbid) delete their fics, complaining about unfinished WIPs, and so many other things that honestly give me the ick. I know that, as an author myself, I’m biased towards these kinds of posts, but I really do feel like there’s been a shift from fans who really are just genuinely invested in this content to a way more hostile attitude. I’m used to seeing people who are upset about a favourite fic being removed, or disappointed about an abandoned WIP, but I’ve just never noticed so many people outright vilifying authors for it, or promoting things like using the Wayback Machine to copy and repost deleted content (something I have now seen people suggesting to each other on multiple occasions). It’s starting to put me off from actively participating in fandom at all, which I really don’t want to happen.

Even setting that particular issue aside, I’ve also noticed a huge uptake in people shaming both authors/artists and readers for the kind of content they produce and consume. I genuinely don’t think I can scroll through any of my social media feeds without finding at least one post complaining about a certain ship, or the way Author X portrays Character Y, or the existence of Dead Dove, or literally any other tag or trope that’s ever existed on AO3 or any other major site. I’m not talking about people asking others about their preferences, or people who say something just isn’t their cup of tea. I’m talking about posts, dozens of dozens of posts, made with the sole purpose of saying “eww, why does XYZ thing even exist, I mean who could ever read/write this, you’re disgusting if you do”, completely unsolicited, about every possible content you can imagine. I’m genuinely asking, whatever happened to “don’t like, don’t read” and “you’re allowed to click away”? Again, I’ve only ever known relatively recent fandom culture, but I always thought that “you do you” was the generally accepted attitude? I was actually anxious about posting my most recent fic because of this, and I’m honestly still a little afraid that I’m going to get a comment tearing apart my characterisation or end up as the subject of some unhinged Reddit thread — and what I write is pretty tame, compared to the darker works out there.

Have fandom spaces always been like this and I’m somehow only realising now, or has anyone else noticed these things, too? Is there some piece of the puzzle that I’m missing? I’d particularly love it if other fic writers could weigh in, because I’m really curious to see if it’s just me who’s seeing things this way.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

all my irreverence and shitposting aside I am genuinely alarmed by two trends I'm noticing in the mdzs fandom, tho this can obviously apply to other fandom spaces too:

younger fans (under age ~24) in general (as in I know this won't apply to everyone, don't @ me) seem to struggle with critical analyses of the canon if the analyses in question are longer than a handful of paragraphs. I understand the value of being succinct where possible since that helps with clearly communicating an idea to an audience. but there is a significant difference between presenting a succinct explanation of a complex idea, and presenting a shallow misrepresentation of a complex idea because you haven't taken the time to carefully read the source material and then think about it before drafting your response.

there's a big problem (again, predominately among younger fans, or at least those who publicly display their age on their profiles) in certain corners of this fandom with conflating a fan's sympathetic reading of the antagonist characters (e.g., jin guangyao and jiang cheng) with that fan's real world attitudes around such issues as violence against women and children, sex crimes in general, and class consciousness.

like. case in point, I just erased over half of this post because I anticipated that many people would skim over 60% of the content and jump straight to the angry keymashing. but it's worrying to me that this is most prevalent among younger fans because you guys are the ones who are up and coming in fandom spaces. you're the ones who are going to be driving these conversations. isn't it important to you to be sure that you are understanding what someone else is actually saying to you before you decide to tell them why they're wrong?

genuine request: can we collectively agree that no one in the mdzs fandom actually thinks rape, murder, corpse desecration, or child abuse is okay? can we collectively agree that, when a jgy or jc 'stan' attempts to contextualize jgy or jc's actions within the source material (or dares to draw a narrative parallel between jgy or jc and wwx), what we are not doing is trying to diminish the seriousness of rape, murder, corpse desecration, or child abuse in the real world?

if we can just reach some kind of mutual agreement on this point specifically, maybe we can move on from kicking this fierce corpse of a horse and start talking about, idk. the novel.

[bleue-flora]

As an inniter, but also a big c!Dream fan, you would not believe the people who get so upset over me just trying to be chill and talk about them both fairly. I don't get why people want to get so mad over block game. Personally, I love listening to other people’s thoughts, that's what community is about!

It is definitely wild to say the least. Though that’s not unique to discduo or even the dsmp, though certainly more prevalent in this fandom opposed to others. (I mean Supernatural fans are out here shipping brothers and Sam Winchester and his torturer, the literal Devil and I never came across them at each other’s throats. I mean talk about being an “abuse apologist” lol XD… ) but that over passion turned aggression does seem to be all across the internet and even into real life. It’s quite toxic really, used to be only politics were a dangerous topic but now it seems anything can garner pitchforks.

To be completely honest, I used to be a very passionate arguer, mind you about dealing with people and not young Minecraft boys. But I realized at some point that yelling at eachother was quite the waste of energy. If the other side is not even willing to listen or see your side then you might as well by talking to a brick wall, at least they might be more polite. So, I stopped arguing with people, who just wanted to scream nonsense without trying to see the other side, and started listening and discussing with people who mutually wanted to just talk about it. And I found it far more productive and interesting. Turns out people aren’t just terrible if they disagree with you, they just might have their own priorities or experiences or reasons that you don’t have. The world would be a simpler place if there was only one right answer and opinion and one wrong, but the truth is there is typically a little of both in either side, and a lot of times it’s just choosing which things are the most reasonable or important to you.

And we can always learn from each other even if at the end of the day your opinion remains the same. Most importantly, there’s really just no reason to hate someone just because they disagree with you, and their opinion doesn’t necessarily reflect their morals or whether they are or are not a good person. Sometimes you just gotta love and respect them anyways, maybe listen and respectively challenge their thinking when you can and give eachother space and room to grow as people…

[avelera]

10. Worst part of fanon(sorry if this has been asked before)

I think there’s a general trend in fanon where all the sharp edges and unique features of the character get scrubbed off in the sort of general jostling of characters bouncing between people’s various headcanons and personal lived experience and art styles.

That's one reason I try to keep an eye out on things Hob (or Dream) does that I wouldn’t, because for me therein lies what I find most interesting about the character. I think, for example, that it's natural for a normal person to imagine immortality and losing everyone they love periodically and the stresses of constantly reinventing yourself and be horrified! To feel the tragedy of that preemptively and imagine that an immortal existence would be filled with sorrow. Indeed, that is exactly what Dream thinks when he accepts the wager with Death in the first place.

Except Hob constantly surprises him. Hob as a character is specifically the anti-standard immortal. He doesn't feel those sorrows, or at least he doesn't wallow in them, yet he doesn't detach either, he still feels deeply about those he lost. He still goes out there and dates and marries regularly in the comic, he doesn't shy away from those experiences, and it never dims his fervor to live. That's really hard to imagine! That's what makes him so interesting! He doesn't do what we would expect.

(Even more controversial takes under the cut)

There is also a tendency to make the characters more... in line with the values and worldview of a good portion of the fandom, which is often young (under ~40, but 20-something is a more common median), usually but not exclusively female-presenting, politically progressive, tolerant (or at least aspirationally so), heavily engaged with stories and media and things like mythology (especially in the Sandman fandom), openly queer, concerned with social justice, and in general concerned with trying to be a nice person.

This personality profile is often where I see Hob and Dream's characterization drifting over time. And by the way, this is not unique to Sandman, it's pretty much par for the course in every fandom and it's totally natural that writers would drift towards their own lived experience when depicting characters.

For my own part though, I prefer writing characters who aren't me. I'm bored by me. I live me every day. I want to write characters who do things that I wouldn't do.

For example, I find Hob more interesting to write when he's not a mythology buff like I am. I don't think Hob is overly concerned with social justice until 1789 and even then, I don't think he became a crusader on the behalf of human social advancement. I find it more interesting if he's been a businessman through the ages more often than he was a soldier or anything more artistically inclined, because we see evidence of it on the page and because it's not what I would have done and I like to explore the mindset that leads to that choice.

And along these lines with regards to Dream, there's a personal...eh, to call it problem or even a squick would be too strong a word. "Difference of opinion" shall we say of a trend I've seen lately, which is Dream's gender fluidity and even the prevalence of him taking the more feminine role lately (thankfully, Hob and Dream seem for the most part balanced in which of them the fandom decides to depict in a more stereotypically feminine way from one creator to the next, even if I personally prefer to keep them both as masculine as is possible for my lived experience, it's not like Bagginshield where it was a 90/10 split on Bilbo being the one always feminized). I think this too arises out of the large percentage of queer writers in this space and it makes perfect sense to me.

However, personally, I see Dream as male. Which is funny considering I think I wrote one of the earlier "Fem" Dream fics with "Come live with me" but I vociferously stick to male pronouns for Dream in that fic even when he must present as female. Presenting as female is a source of difficulty for Dream in that story, he is not comfortable with it and would not do it if not for the requirements of the wager.

That said, in my fic Dream frequently presents with female sexual characteristics, like having breasts or a vagina or stereotypically "feminine" facial features. That's because, in my opinion, those things have nothing to do with whether Dream is male. I don't switch to female pronouns even when Dream is presenting as female, except when it is needed for the ruse, because having a cock or a pussy should have nothing to do with being male.

Dream is apathetic towards sexual organs, in my mind, but he has chosen to identify as male. (Edit: and just to be clear, I'm not saying gender as in "Gender is a choice" I'm saying this more along the lines of "right to self knowledge" which - Dream has determined himself to be male, therefore he is, and that deserves to be acknowledged and accepted without argument because it is his decision and his existence and no one else's) I think there's been a move in Sandman fanon towards saying that because the Endless should see gender as beneath them because they're eldritch, all-powerful beings, that they do. I actually find that much less interesting because it's so expected. I find it much more interesting that theoretically genderless beings choose to define their gender or lack of gender. If in our society someone can choose not to have gender define them, I think it is equally relevant to allow technically genderless beings choose the opposite, and I find it much more interesting if Dream chooses to be male and that, therefore, he is male.

Even in the scene in Overture when we meet all the different aspects of Dream, we have something like a 99-to-1 ratio of male-presenting (as far as we can tell) to female presenting Dream's in that milieu. And I find that intriguing. On the one hand, we could take that to mean that internally Dream is very male, but only has a 1% portion of him that defines herself as female. But I would go so far as to take it a step further and say if I was writing that version of fem Dream from Overture, I'd still have him use male pronouns, because appearing as female or having a stereotypically female appearance has nothing to do, in his mind, with who he is at his core. The Dreaming might be genderless, but I find it much more interesting and thematically relevant in Dream's struggle to find or resist his own personhood within his function if he has a strong sense of his own gender that is immutable across whatever form he takes, which is at odds with his function as the Dreaming not having a gender. It lends to the idea that Dream isn't just a function if he has a gender he has chosen. It lends to the theme of his independent personhood, which I find more interesting to explore.

And that's not necessarily a thing fanon gets "wrong" by the way, except insofar as I would point out that on the page, in the show and the comic, Dream isn't fluid. Of the Endless, only Desire is fluid in their presentation, the others present as male or female in contrast with Desire's identity. It's an intriguing fanon to say that all the Endless are fluid but it's not canon, it's not on the page, and for my own part, since I don't identify as male, I find it much more interesting to write Dream's experience as male, even when he has, for example, sexual organs I find more familiar.

[adamsvanrhijn]

HATE the "hey you are mildly nerdy about [subject] therefore i think you have autism" thing this webbed site has going on. Over 60% of autistic people are non-communicable. Of those who are capable of communicating - and therefore of running a fandom blog - over 30% read below their grade level. "Autism = nerdy superpowers" is such an ableist and unrealistic portrayal of autism it's actually offensive. I'd love to know how many people on here actually have an irl autism diagnosis (not Aspergers - the damage done to autistic people by combining the two and therefore centering far less disabled people as the face/voice of autism cannot be exaggerated) and how many are just playing into gross ableist stereotypes.

I hear what you're saying! When discussing autism there is definitely a very clear bias in the general fandom-y nerdy user bases of Tumblr + Tiktok + Twitter toward people who can communicate with spoken & written language, and the prevalence/prominence of those ideas has altered the way people perceive autism in a way that can reposition an already vulnerable demographic of disabled people for whom resources are already very scarce.

I will say though I don't think the autism spectrum disorder designation including people of various communication abilities and developmental delays inherently centers people who communicate at average or above average levels. Like, Asperger's is not diagnosed anymore in part because the symptom cluster was not wholly unique from autism & the people making the distinction thought that it was not useful for diagnostics and care. At least to my memory what we are seeing online right now is very recent within the last like 2-4 years and seems a lot more Prevalent online than in real life?

Part of why I feel like it's more of an issue online is that where I've lived, resources as well as general understanding of autism seems to be centering people who cannot communicate and their families and caregivers which is how it has been since I was growing up. But I live in the middle of nowhere and that might not be true other places.

I think the fact that the clinical distinction is no longer made combined with how people who right now are nerdy tweens and teens lost 1-2 years of normal social development and school attendance is probably a huge factor, and this might not be a long term issue the further we move away from the impact of covid.

On a personal note—

I also think that due to the nature of how online communities work, we don't have a view into how people with above average communication skills might be affected by symptoms of autism offline, and that some of that might be intentional in that people don't want to bring those experiences into online spaces. People like to control the image they have online, you know??

I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in 2016 as a young adult by a clinical psychologist after a childhood ADHD diagnosis, and my also double diagnosed brother has significantly more noticeable symptoms than I do including communication delays that I never had (I got the "little professor" moniker). I'm not sure what his first diagnosis was but we are both higher functioning/lower support needs while also in our youth being objectively disabled in a way that relates to autism symptoms. I didn't have support growing up and once I was in middle school I failed every semester until I dropped out of high school (this was also due to homophobic bullying) and he was on an individualized education plan for all of his school years.

I think a lot of people find solace in what their autism symptoms make easier, more engaging, or fun for them and want to focus on that and talk about that rather than all of the things that are difficult for them—and I bet this is especially true with younger people who might be more defensive in general and very, very conscious of how they are perceived offline. "Nerdy superpowers" online might be "can't physically go into the grocery store because the fluorescent lights are too bright" and "only talks out loud to 4 people and is ostracized in school & social spaces" offline.

[mr-laveau]

The more responses I see to the earlier post regarding the fraction of issues regarding people's hcs and the way they enforce problematic racial stereotypes, the more I see people missing the point.

So! Let's revise the point in simpler terms!

POC: Hi! We've noticed this pattern of portrayal and we just wanted to know what's up with that? It's kinda weird as shit to see–

Fandom: You're telling us what to do! Mind your business! We were fine without this before!

POC: ...

POC: WE JUST WANNA KNOW WHY YOU DOIN ALL THAT–

No one, and I mean NOT A SOUL, gives a shit regarding who you headcanon as whatever race–not a damn soul.

We do think it's weird that these headcanons are depicted awfully similar to the racial stereotypes prevalent in the media and all we're asking is for you to examine where that's coming from because it's making the minorities who have been ever so patient about this uncomfortable. We don't need you to put on a show about how racist you aren't, validate your ethnic HCS with racist scenarios or change your shit. We just want you to consider what those headcanons look like and how they particularly affect others when done in negligence. If you're not willing to do that and you're not willing to look outside of your view point and get the idea then at least do us a favour and say your shit with your chest so you can get blocked instead of hiding behind anons and spouting your bullshit. It's disgusting and your ignorance is tiring to see. At least let me use the algorithm to take you off my feed so I can see the people who don't make me feel shit for existing and asking for consideration.

No one is calling you racist. No one has made this implication. We all just want you to unpack something because it's weird and we can't exist in a space where everyone is blatantly reinforcing damaging stereotypes and denying POC a welcoming space. But if that's too hard for ya then all I'm gonna personally say is:

It's pretty fucking hypocritical that y'all wanna consume media that discusses and critiques systemic racism enforced in schools, the media and society, but you wanna act like you're not adding to the problem those literary allegories represent.

P.S. Centrist behaviors and silence can and will be read by me as being complicit, and wanting to sweep this under the rug is telling of how fucked your mindset is.

[loveydoveylex]

god, I am in AGONY in the rayman fandom right now because of how intertwined it's become with the laserhawk fandom. I loved the show, don't get me wrong, but... I'd like to be free of the shipping, please, it's impossible to escape 😣 I'm lucky to have a few friends who feel a similar way so I can air out my frustrations sometimes, but it's getting increasingly harder and harder to filter away because people don't know how to tag things. I never had this problem before laserhawk came out; shipping has always been super easy to filter away. I hate that it's become like this, 'cause what was once a safe and cozy comfort space for me about a franchise that I genuinely love and enjoy has just become a huge source of discomfort and distaste.

at this point I'm gonna have to go the route of blocking the other character's entire tag, which sucks a lot for me because he was a character I really did enjoy (and even considered being a platonic or familial f/o at first), but it might literally be the only way I can get some peace of mind at this point.

at least it's not as prevalant on tumblr as it is on twitter... I'm starting to think I have half of the fanbase muted or blocked over there. I'm just. exhausted.

[wellspokenrambler]

Rambler @ PAX East 2024

Hi folks! I just got back from PAX East over the weekend and, while I didn't really take part in the Expo Hall besides a couple of stalls, I did go to a decent number of panels - and thought it was worth writing up my thoughts on each of them. The only thing I love more than playing video games is hearing people talk about video games!

(I didn't take notes while I was there so this will be certainly more of a "vibes"-based assessment and why each one appealed to me personally, so apologies if you came here looking for a more objective description of each panel! I'll put links to the VOD of each panel where available)

Panels and thoughts below the read-more (it's long as heck! get ready):

Metroid: A Community Retrospective and Look Toward the Future

Having only played Metroid Prime 3: Corruption and Metroid: Dread in my time, I wouldn't call myself a hardcore fan - but they are both games I've really enjoyed, and Samus Aran's pivotal positioning as a female character in video gaming history is always fascinating to me, so I had to check this one out.

It's so surreal to see the ways that a community like this had to adapt to long "dry spells" without any official new material for their fandom, and the joy that follows when something like Dread comes along to reaffirm their love for it. I don't know that I learned anything new from this panel myself, but it was still heartening to hear the panellists' clear passion for the games, and it does make me want to dip my toes into other Metroids (at the very least, the other two Prime games!)

Unlocking the Positive Potential of Gaming for Kids and Teens

I hadn't originally planned to go to this one, but met two of the panellists (Dr. David Bickham and Sam Schamm, MA) while eating brunch by the food trucks, and hearing them briefly discuss the subject matter fascinated me enough that I decided to pop along to it.

This was a deeply insightful panel on the ways that gaming can meaningfully help young people and foster their learning, agency, critical thinking, and other useful life skills - as well as thoughts on how to help them through the risks associated with gaming such as toxic multiplayer communities or, for want of a better word, the addictive potential of gaming. Having previously worked in a job which involved helping teenagers make informed decisions about their futures myself, it meant a lot to me to see serious academic thought being given to the subject given how prevalent gaming is as part of a child's social life these days. Excellent panel!

Mental Health and Gaming - Creating a Safe Space for Yourself and Others

While a difficult topic, I am nevertheless glad that I went to this panel as it covered the way that streamers and other "community figures" can navigate the creation of a safe space in the form of their community while also maintaining effective boundaries within that space. Of particular interest to me was reframing some of the language that often gets used in this context e.g. "trauma-dumping" and unpacking our own biases when dealing with uncomfortable situations.

If I had any minor criticisms of the panel, it would be that some of the suggestions occasionally felt like they veered a little too far into the side of... I guess trying to fix the lives of strangers? Now, in the interests of fairness I shall state my own biases that lead to this feeling, because it is not that I do not care about what happens to people: it is precisely because I've had to manage my own proclivity towards hyper-empathy in the past that I tend to take a step back from my emotions on that regard these days. Caring is good, but caring to the point of self-destruction helps no-one, and that to me feeds into what the panel was saying about boundary maintenance.

My own community is a small handful of regulars and a couple of hundred followers so this has not been something I need to worry about yet, but the panel has hopefully given me some tools with which to manage those situations if they ever arise, and for that I am thankful.

How Our Favorite Characters Have Real World Impacts on Us: A Look into Fictional Characters and ParaSocial Relationships

FASCINATING panel. I originally went to this because of my memories of being in the Gorillaz fandom and the weird and wonderful (and sometimes ugly) ways people interacted with the idea of the fictional band members in that space... But the conversation proved to cover a broad spectrum both of what constitutes a parasocial relationship AND what constitutes a fictional character; the panellists made the case that the personas of content creators and streamers themselves counted as fictional characters, and I think they are absolutely bang-on with that.

From my end as a Z-list Player of Games Online, even I am presenting a more polished version of myself there than I would have in the rest of my life - it's not "not me", but it's certainly not all of me, and that is enough to make "Well-Spoken Rambler" a somewhat distinct entity from the person who portrays them.

The inclusion of internet personalities into their definition ALSO meant, however, that at the Q&A I got to name-drop one of my favourite journal articles that I've read this year: The one-and-a-half sided parasocial relationship: The curious case of live streaming. This article holds deeply interesting connotations to me because of what it implies about the "half" of the one-and-a-half... which is that of course, behind the fiction of a "creator" is the person who creates, and that person is just as capable of developing fictionalised ideas of the people in their community (though with a more removed and likely self-aware perspective on it). The panellists had heard of the article and mentioned it was on their to-read list, but agreed it tied in well with the themes of the panel!

(... And yet the reason I was able to re-find the article so quickly is because I had linked it to a creator in a Patreon Direct Message a couple months ago because I thought it would be interesting to them... The irony is not lost on me. More on that later.)

Debate Club with Mari and PeeGTV

This was just a fun old time! I wasn't familiar with Mari or PG before watching this panel, but they have such a fun rapport here that I want to try and watch them more regularly now that I know of them. Jenna Stoeber acted as a firm but fair adjudicator of the panel - and I am definitely not just saying that because she is a recent convert to the Rambler channel and was pleasant and kind when we bumped into each other on the expo floor. She did a great job letting both sides of the debate (Millennial horror vs Gen Z horror) shine. If you listen closely around the 34 minute mark, you may hear a familiar little British voice raise a point about how you can't judge a horror by its synopsis!

Thinking Differently Together: Neurodivergence & Gaming

Folks... I am so so glad that there is a much greater emphasis on self-advocacy these days than there used to be. Look! Look at all those ND creators talking about their experiences and being listened to!! Look how it has a VOD so I can just link it and you can all see it too!!! Conversations like this one in a major event like PAX are a hopeful sign to me that progress is being fought for and won.

Only minor critiques for this one are:

could have used some discussion about more than just the usual ADHD/autism bracket that is discussed when it comes to neurodiversity (but then I think that about most ND discussions)

would personally have liked some chat about accessibility concerns while creating/streaming and neurodivergent (e.g. personally had to tweak my lighting because it was overstimulating me while I streamed)

Otherwise great panel!

Bridging the Gender Gap (13+)

Another great panel for encouraging diversity in the games industry - I appreciated the intersectionality of this one as well as the honest discussions about the ways in which things still need to be made *considerably* better throughout all corners of gaming. The panel also discusses actionable steps which could be taken to improve on these issues.

Surprised at myself for not having much to say about this one! I just think the panellists did a really good and succinct job at talking about the subject.

A Hunter's Dream: Bloodborne and Transness

I enjoyed this panel a whole lot - Having watched a playthrough of Bloodborne last year, hearing two trans women discussing the different trans allegories and interpretation of the characters and themes and lore of the game felt absolutely correct, even if it wasn't "canon".

If one was being pedantic one could call this the least polished of the panels I went to, but I honestly don't think that matters tremendously because both panellists were so utterly sincere about what they were covering that it carried the panel. You could easily tell just how much the subject matter meant to the two and it in turn meant a lot to me that they were willing to share it with a bunch of strangers as we were.

And then...

Um, Actually: The Panel

Hoooooo boy.

So remember earlier when I mentioned the irony of using Patreon DMs to grab an article about nonstandard parasocial interactions?

[ID: a meme image of Morpheus from the Matrix saying "What if I told you the guy I sent that article to is at a PAX East panel"]

So of course the panel for the Dropout show Um, Actually was being hosted by its two new presenters, Ify Nwadiwe and Brian David Gilbert:

Ify had been a wonderful host so far, and I really enjoy his work in general (especially his stint recently on Very Important People), so I was looking forward to meeting him.

...And then there's Brian, who has been streaming on Twitch for just under the past four years and who in that time has been subject to hundreds of my fun facts, insightful commentaries, and helpful actions (which he very much appreciated). That, alongside regularly taking part in Patreon livestreams, has led to a strange situation where I would not consider us friends, but we... don't not know each other? but we also don't know each other? Which is why the "one-and-a-half-sided" description in that article and the panel about parasocialness appealed to me (and why I sent the article to him too).

So of course when this panel got announced I wasn't gonna miss it. I really enjoyed what I've seen of Ify's hosting and Brian's fact-finding so far, and I wasn't gonna miss the chance to see the two chat about it - nor to potentially meet the guy who helped me raise £500 for ASAN last year.

But, turns out I wasn't the only one enthused by the panel, because it was Absolutely Rammed, like, an hour and a half before the panel started. I got lucky in that I managed to end up somewhere in the middle of the pack and got into the panel at all, but good grief did it remind me how I don't do well in crowds (even well-managed crowds, thank you PAX Enforcers xx).

It caused me to reflect a lot on the perceived casualness with which I interacted with Brian on Twitch versus the material reality of the level of interest from a LOT of people which he manages. It's the kind of thing which makes me wish to never become famous, because I don't know that I'd have it in me to manage that level of attention from everyone - even the very occasional instance of people recognising me online FROM Brian's streams and acting like it's a big deal always throws me off a bit (this has happened to me several times, I'm not even kidding!)

But then of course the Enforcers got us all in neatly and sweetly, and the panel was a delight! It was fun to hear Ify and Brian (and Jenna!!) talk about working on the show and the kinds of things they enjoyed putting in and what to expect next - such as another new season after the current one, as it deserves.

There was also a live session of Um, Actually questions which was at the time enjoyable, but since then numerous allegations of cheating and defamation have come to light against one of the participants, Gabe Hicks, and it is disheartening that something as grievous as this could have been going on that very weekend. I hope that justice and reparations can be made for the people affected by this, and I am going to move on out of courtesy to those involved.

After the panel, a meet-and-greet line formed for both Ify and Brian outside of the theatre and I was able to join it - it also felt important to me that I follow the proper procedures and not assume any privileges, since I know full well how that kind of thing can read and wanted to put my best foot forward, so to speak.

The play-by-play of our eventual meeting is as follows:

I greeted Ify first on purpose to let him know that he was doing a great job as the new Um, Actually host and I liked him in VIP

I then went to greet Brian, but at that point he had very blatantly already cottoned onto who I was and seemed very enthusiastic that I was there. I didn't feel any sense of star-struckedness, it was more like that sense of when you talk to someone online and then meet them in person - surreal, but not stressful.

Jenna took that moment to gently interrupt so she could rendezvous with the two men before the line ended - seemingly because of our vague familiarity and prior assumption of goodwill on our parts

I made sure to pass along some greetings from a few Discord servers formed around Brian's Twitch streams I was in, which Brian appreciated, and gave him a small gift which I brought with me - a small bottle of vivid iridescent nail polish (Ciaté London's "Forbidden Fruit", sadly out of production now), since nail painting and structural colour is somewhat of a shared interest of ours

Brian made sure to specifically compliment me on my shirt, to which I admitted the reason I wore it was because I knew Brian was the only person there who would appreciate it fully: it was from a game of Tee KO we played on Patreon at the end of 2022, which Brian won using a VERY existential t-shirt illustrated by myself:

(sidenote, after repeated success with these silly skeletons in subsequent games of Tee KO, I am very close to just selling my own legally-distinct skeleton shirt if I ever have a merch page)

Finally, I asked if we three could cap off the meeting with a video'd selfie, to which they graciously obliged me:

Having filmed what can only be described as a Cannes-worthy masterpiece, I said my goodbyes to them and made my way to the next panel...

The PAX Panel Show

...Which was just in the same theatre as the last panel, and with Jenna hosting and Brian on the panel. What a glorious event! I am so sad this one didn't get recorded - a truly deranged set of questions, including Portmantoad (guessing which video games have had their names spliced together based on the description of the resulting fusion), Ornstein and Sullivan (guessing whether a named character was from a Fromsoft game or from an opera), and a whole bunch of real-world questions about farming?? Joke's on all these city-slicker panellists, I grew up on a smallholding! So I was... actually no better at those farm questions than them. I can't tell you about industrial farming practices, but I can tell you how to hold a chicken! (gently, like a big hamburger).

After the panel, I approached Jenna one last time at the con and suggested that, given the inherent strangeness of our interactions (wherein we have become Twitch mutuals but still at best distant acquaintances) it would be funny if we took a selfie but made out like she was "the fan". She saw the funny side of it:

[ID: a tweet by Well-Spoken Rambler @wellspokentweet reading "Always a pleasure to meet a fan, @the_jenna", below which is a selfie featuring Well-Spoken Rambler and Jenna Stoeber. A reply from Jenna beneath this reads "HONORED TO MEET YOU, BIG FAN <3" in all-caps.]

Play What You Don't Know with DesiQuest

This was my last panel of PAX, and a bit of a last-minute wildcard! After relaying the above events to my good friend Hamish, he told me that his friend Omar would be doing a panel the following day, and that I should go and see it. And I am very glad I did!

It was really heartening to learn that a podcast like DesiQuest exists - a D&D actual play featuring an all-South-Asian cast and touching on the disparate cultures and themes that connect with them and their audience. As someone who is of Sri Lankan descent but without the cultural upbringing, it's something that appeals to me personally as another way to try and reconnect with that heritage. Definitely catching up on this one over the week!

I also got to say hi to Omar from Hamish, and it was a nice bonding moment cut short by my having to BOOK IT to a water taxi and conclude my time in Boston for good.

...

Phew!

Well, thanks for reading all of that if you did! It was a weekend that was at once fun, interesting, and thought-provoking. I still don't consider myself someone who seeks out big events, but being much more free and able to take part in those kinds of things now is super refreshing and I hope at some point (though not in the immediate future, boy was that expensive) I will be able to go again! Or at least do other events like that. Possibly something a bit quieter, but conventions don't usually run in flavours of "quiet", haha. Perhaps next time I'll bring business cards to recklessly self-promote better with.

See you around!

-Rambler

[drabbles-mc]

Flying In (1)

Mayans MC & Narcos Crossover

For @narcosfandomdiscord's Day of Cross-Fandom Pollination: create a fanwork that includes at least one Narcos character and at least one character from another fandom

Warnings: 18+, language, canon-typical shenanigans of both shows

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: The way that this started out as just a silly little idea that me and Anj had. And now I wanna write a whole novel about them all sksksk. I already plan to write another installment of this universe for another day in the challenge, because @garbinge was kind enough to loan me her OC Lara Losa, but here is the first little look behind the curtain! I can't wait to write more with all of them.

Part 2

Flying In Taglist: @ashlingnarcos @hausofmamadas @narcolini @cositapreciosa @justreblogginfics @proceduralpassion @artemiseamoon (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

When Lara walked into the clubhouse, she found Bishop sitting at one of the tables, phone pressed to his ear. The heel of his other hand was pressed into the space between his eyebrows, and even though most of his face was blocked, Lara could still see the annoyed frown on his face. Even if she hadn’t been looking at him, she could’ve guessed that that was the expression on his face, and nine times out of ten she would’ve been right.

“Yeah,” he said into the phone, “sounds good. See you then.” He ended the call and immediately tossed his phone onto the table with a groan. “Fuck me.”

She would’ve felt bad for laughing at his response if he wasn’t like that so often. “Sounded like a fun call,” she said as she pulled out the chair across from him and plopped down.

He tried to give her an annoyed look but it only lasted for a couple seconds before he caved and chuckled. “Not fun for me. Might end up being fun for you, though.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh, really?” She drummed her fingertips against the tabletop. “Color me curious.”

Bishop sighed. “That was your Tío Gilberto. Updating me on his fuckin’ travel plans.”

“No shit?”

“Yeah.”

Lara laughed. “Thought you’d be a little more excited to see your brother.”

He shot her a look. “It’s not like he’s here for a fuckin’ vacation, Lalo.”

She rolled her eyes at him with a smile as she leaned back in her chair. “What, you don’t think that he’s coming to nice, scenic Santo Padre just to unwind?”

“No,” he said flatly, not feeding into the game she was trying to play, “I don’t.”

“Why are you acting like this is the first time he’s come here for business? Just upset that he’s not flying all the way up here just to see you?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“So?” Lara pressed. “What’s the problem this time? Old shit or new shit?”

Bishop gave a reply that fell outside both the choices she’d given him. “He’s not traveling alone.”

“Nicolás?”

He huffed. “No.”

Another second of looking at the expression on his face caused all of the pieces to come together for Lara. His annoyance, his hesitation, his assumption that she was going to be excited about the news. It’d been a handful of years since the last time she’d seen him, but she had a good feeling that it was the right guess. “Chepe?” she asked, far more excited and hopeful than she knew she should’ve been given her father’s prevalent annoyance.

“The one and fuckin’ only,” he grumbled.

Lara burst out laughing, excitedly treating the table they were sitting at like a drum as she rapped against it. “Let’s go!”

Bishop shook his head at her. “You’re ridiculous. Two peas in a fuckin’ pod, both of you.”

“That why you only let him visit once every five years?” she asked through her laughter. When Bishop didn’t come back with an answer, she moved onto her next question. “When do they get here?”

“Day after tomorrow.”

If she had been standing, she would’ve been nearly doubled over with laughter. “Finally learned not to give you too much of a heads-up. No excuses this way.” Taking a deep breath to get herself calm again, she said, “I can pick them up from the airport if you—”

“Absolutely not.”

“You think they’re gonna get in the van with the fucking prospect?” she asked with a scoff as she gestured over to the bar where EZ stood. She continued before Bishop could argue. “And I know you don’t wanna make that drive.”

He knew that she was right on both counts. There was no way that either of those men were going to get into a vehicle with some guy they’ve never met before, even if he was wearing the same kutte as Bishop’s. They knew Taza and Hank, but Bishop also didn’t really want to send them on the errand either.

“Fine,” he finally gave in with a grumble. Before Lara could get too excited, he pointed his finger at her accusingly. “But you’re not fuckin’ going alone.”

That was a compromise that Lara could live with. She was going through the roster in her head, people that Bishop would feel somewhat comfortable sending with her versus people she wanted to be trapped in a car with for the drive. There was also the extra layer of who she thought would be able to survive being trapped in the van with her two uncles.

Before she could even ask the question, the answer came striding through the door. A satisfied smile crossed her face as she pointed to who had just walked through the door. “Fine. I’ll take Angel.”

At the sound of his name, his head whipped to look at the table. “Take Angel where?”

“Airport,” she replied. “Finally getting rid of you for good. One way ticket to—”

“You’re helping her with a pick-up,” Bishop cut his daughter’s comedic routine short.

Angel strolled over to the table and rested his hand on the back of Lara’s chair. He looked back and forth between the two of them and tried to figure out what was going on without having to ask. “Pick-up?”

“My brother’s flying in,” Bishop answered.

Angel nodded in understanding, although he couldn’t hide the look of mild surprise on his face. “Shit. Alright.”

“Day after tomorrow you’re going with Lara to pick them up.”

“Them?” Angel asked.

Lara was practically giddy. “Tío Chepe is coming too.”

Angel’s brows knit in confusion. “Do I know him?”

Bishop shook his head. “You’d know if you knew him.” He paused to sigh before looking back at Angel again. “Keep both of them out of trouble.”

“Your brothers?”

Bishop gestured to Lara. “Her and Chepe. And he’s not my fuckin’ brother.”

The comment got a laugh out of both Lara and Angel, who held his hands up in surrender. “Only one brother. Got it.”

The day of their arrival came far too soon for Bishop’s liking. Before he knew it, he was meeting up with Lara and Angel at the clubhouse early in the morning to give her the van and send them on their way. It was the only time Bishop could remember Angel being early for anything.

“Keep me updated,” Bishop said as Lara swiped the keys away from him.

“Yeah, yeah,” she replied flippantly as she unlocked the doors.

“Wasn’t talking to you,” Bishop said as he turned and looked at Angel. It was a sad state of affairs when he had to trust Angel to be one of the most responsible ones in a group of people, but that’s where they were at. “Got it?”

Angel nodded, knowing that there was only one right answer. “Got it.”

The two of them were a few minutes into their trek when Angel finally ventured to ask, “So what’s the deal with your uncles, then? Them and Bish, I mean.”

Lara glanced over at him for a moment before putting her eyes back on the road. “You’ve met Gilberto before, haven’t you?”

“Not really. Seen him, but Bish usually handles whatever they’ve got going on with him and Galindo. I don’t ask.”

She chuckled. “Smart.”

“What’s Bish’s deal with this Chepe dude?”

Lara laughed. “My dad hates anyone who finds a way to have a good time at all costs.” She paused. “I can’t believe you’ve never met him. Can’t believe it’s been that long.”

“What’s he like?” Angel’s curiosity had been piqued since they previously brought him up, but he didn’t want to ask about him in front of Bishop.

She spared him another brief glance, a mischievous look on her face. “You just have to meet him.”

The response didn’t bring Angel any comfort in the slightest, but he knew better than to try and press her for answers that she had no intention of giving. That was one thing that she and her father had in common. Instead he just settled back into his seat and watched the road, doing his best to not be a backseat driver.

If Chepe and Gilberto hadn’t walked out the door right beside each other and holding a conversation, no one would’ve known that they were traveling together. Gilberto had stepped off the plane in a suit—Lara was fairly certain that the closest she’d ever seen her uncle get to lounge wear was business causal. And even then, that was a rare sight. Chepe on the other hand showed up looking like he was actually on vacation. He had his aviators on as they strolled down the walkway, suitcases in tow, with a casual striped button-down on with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows. The gold necklace he was wearing standing out against the white t-shirt he had on underneath—he’d even traded in his khakis for jeans.

Both of them broke out into grins when they saw Lara waiting beside the van in the pick-up area. She held her arms out for a hug as she approached them both. She stepped in to give Gilberto a hug first, kissing him on the cheek as she did so.

“Mija,” he said with a laugh. “More grown up every time I see you.”

She stepped back, smiling and shaking her head as his hands remained on the outsides of her arms for a moment longer, like he was updating the image of her that was in his head. “Gotta visit more than once or twice a year, Tío.”

Chepe chimed in before Gilberto even got the chance to. “Take that up with your father,” his tone was serious when he said the statement, but it was immediately followed by a wide grin and a laugh.

Lara immediately beamed and stepped over to him, throwing her arms around his neck. “Chepe!” She laughed as he swept her up off her feet in a hug.

“Lalita,” he set her down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “mi muñeca. It’s been too long.”

She let out a dramatic sigh as she fixed her hair. “I know—I’ll work on getting my dad to lift the embargo.”

Angel stood back, watching the two of them as they laughed together. It was a lot to take in, seeing her like that. It wasn’t as though she turned into a completely different person around her uncles, but he certainly felt like a different side to her—a side that he had never had the opportunity to see before. This certainly wasn’t how she acted with the only other family he knew of hers, Bishop.

Chepe playfully nudged Lara’s shoulder as he looked Angel up and down. “Quién es este mari—”

Lara elbowed him with a chuckle and a shake of her head. Some things weren’t ever going to change. “This is Angel—he’s in the club with my dad.” Turning, she looked at Angel. “Angel, this is my Tío Gilberto,” she nodded towards the man in question before resting her hand on Chepe’s shoulder, “and my Tío Chepe.”

Lara couldn’t have been more casual about the introduction if she had tried, and yet Angel still found himself standing there feeling like sweat was about to start pooling in his palms. Clearing his throat, he quickly and discreetly wiped his hand against his jeans before holding it out for Giberto to shake. “Nice to meet you.” He repeated the process with Chepe, neither man emoting one way or the other how they felt about him. Angel, based off years of experience, took it to be a bad sign even though he had no real evidence of that.

There wasn’t much more to be said as they started putting Chepe and Gilberto’s luggage into the back of the van. None of them started an actual discussion about who was going to be sitting where, but when Chepe went to reach for the front passenger-side door, Angel didn’t speak up to try and stop him. If he was going to be sitting next to someone besides Lara for the whole drive back, he supposed he was fine with it being Gilberto. Angel felt like sitting next to Gilberto meant there was less likelihood of him being pushed out of the van while it was still moving.

The ride back was uneventful despite Angel’s spiraling internal monologue. He listened to Lara chat with both her uncles. Some of it he could only catch bits and pieces of when they were speaking primarily in Spanish. It was evident that she didn’t speak it as much as her uncles, because why would she have to? But she spoke a lot more than Angel probably ever would. It was enough for him to try to have to use context clues for some of the things that were brought up. Whatever it was, it didn’t seem like they were discussing anything too serious.

When they pulled into the lot at the clubhouse, it felt like everything else came to a bit of a standstill. While Gilberto had made a habit over the years of visiting far more frequently than Chepe, it wasn’t as though he spent an awful lot of time at the clubhouse when he did. Most of the members who’d been around for more than a couple years had seen him and knew who he was, but most hadn’t ever really gotten a formal introduction. As far as Bishop was concerned, they didn’t need one. Since Chepe tagged along for the first time in a long time, however, Bishop had the feeling that this stint in the states was going to be just as much social as it was business.

Chepe and Lara were chatting as they got out of the van, not in any great rush to get into the throes of things. Unsure of what else to do, Angel tagged along a couple steps behind Gilberto as he went to greet his brother. Chepe lingered by the back of the van with Lara while she discouraged him from taking their luggage out of the van because she was going to drop them off at whatever hotel they were staying at once they checked in with Bishop.

“I’m sure Tío Gilberto already has the Benz he rented parked in the valet lot there anyway.” She glanced over at him. “Looks like if you wanna go out and have fun you’ll have to either call me or an Uber.”

Chepe laughed and shook his head but didn’t speak up to disagree with her. Regaining his composure just slightly, he gave a small nod in Angel’s direction as he said, “You should be making him drive you around.”

Lara scoffed even though her face warmed at the comment. “Angel? Please. There’s a reason I was behind the wheel going to pick you guys up today.”

“Lalo,” he chided with a shake of his head. “Don’t start treating me like I’m old and senile. Save that for Gilberto.”

She laughed as she tried to divert the conversation for her own sake. “I don’t know—it has been a while since I’ve seen you.”

He was still smiling as he pulled her in, pretending to go for a headlock. “Not that long.” He paused, and when Lara didn’t say anything, he asked, “So he doesn’t know, then?”

Lara followed Chepe’s eyeline and saw that he was looking at her father now. Picking a story and sticking to it, she did her best to sound confident as she said, “There’s nothing for him to know, Tío.”

Chepe hummed, clearly not convinced but deciding that he’d bring it up again at a later date. Maybe he’d bring it up to Angel and see if they both had the same story. He kissed Lara on the side of the head to conclude their conversation before moving on to finally greeting Bishop. He smiled wide, holding his arms out for a hug as he approached him. He called out, “Obispo!” in such a friendly tone that anyone who didn’t know better would’ve thought that they were old friends.

The less than amused look on Bishop’s face was the only thing that gave away the reality of the situation. He didn’t deny Chepe the hug, but he certainly wasn’t as enthusiastic about it. “Chepe,” he said with not nearly as much cheer. “Was starting to think you were gone for good.”

Chepe clapped him on the back once more with another laugh before pulling away. “Life isn’t that easy for you, Obispo. Besides,” he gestured towards Lara, “I know you miss me just as much as my niece does.”

Bishop scoffed. “Just about.”

“Good thing Gilberto and I haven’t bought our return tickets then, hm?” He beamed. “Make up for some lost time.”

Bishop sucked in a deep breath, one that gave a noticeable rise to his chest and shoulders. He managed to fight every impulsive comment that crossed his mind, finally watering them down and settling on, “Can’t fuckin’ wait.”

[psychewritesbs]

I was reading your post about the megumi character trope and this is related but not?

Anyways, as someone who likes both sasuke and megumi, and I've come to like sasuke recently as I've finally checked out naruto, but it's bizarre to me how superficial their similarities are and it's crazier how people reduce their characters to their aloofness or dar hair or things like that and use that as a way to judge a character overall when their character arcs are so different imo. I have issues with how sasuke's character was handled in the story, but I've become very fond of the things he did for the story overall, so no problem for me, but I'm not sure megumi's arc will end or proceed any similiar to sasuke's with revenge as the main motivation, or at least I don't think so, I'm a couple chaps behind, but yeah, the way both characters process their own trauma or how their motivations are different enough for me to ignore the superficial ways in which they are similiar

I say it's also tough liking both in fandom spaces because naruto is still really popular and jjk is in the spotlight currently, so fandoms can be tense with each other and it's exhausting to see the slander going every which way lol

They say this as a way to slander mgm, but the "Megumi will never be sasuke" is funny because I don't think he's trying to be???

HOLA!

WELCOME to THE ULTIMATE SHONEN BATTLE FOR THE BEST "QUIET AND ALOOF DEUTERAGONIST-KUN": MEGUMI VS SASUKE!

Who's better? Well... let's ask the internet...

ok nvm. NEVER ask the internet for an opinion. ESPECIALLY when the Naruto fans who think Kishimoto is the mother of all anime tropes get involved.

This isn't even a question of whether Gege took inspiration from Sasuke for Megumi because 1) Sasuke himself takes inspiration from a Togashi character and, 2) "quiet and aloof deuteragonist-kun" is one of the most prevalent tropes in animanga--the trope is not even unique to shonen, hell even the 3-man team isn't unique to Naruto.

Nothing against Kishi but... he's doing the same thing every mangaka or author EVER has done--copying tropes.

At least Gege subverts them.

Let's taco'bout it more under the cut because I have many words to vomit about the topic.

Also... man, this is a fantastic conversation to have because, based on the comments I've seen about why Sasuke is "objectively" better, I feel like it comes back to a lack of introspection, dare I say toxic masculinity (?), and perhaps just not understanding or relating to Megumi as a character.

I've written before about Megumi's character development and how relating to him has a lot to do with how deeply you can be introspective about yourself. I won't address character development much here, so if you want to, you can read that post here.

But when it comes to Megumi vs. Sasuke, it's almost like comparing apples to oranges. Yes, they're both fruit (quiet and aloof deuteragonist-kun), AND they also have a different flavor profile, different texture, different scent... the list goes on.

And the way I see it, if someone can't see how the differences between Sasuke and Megumi make them fundamentally different despite sharing the same trope, then they can't "objectively" claim one is better than the other.

So I'm going to go ahead and just say it.

I don't like Sasuke. I never did and I never understood why he was so popular.

The comments about Megumi having the depth of a kiddie pool?

I feel the exact same about Sasuke.

I literally can't think of much to say about him other than he was pissy and had a sour attitude the whole time... umm... he wanted revenge and power... ? I guess?

And you know what? It's perfectly ok that I don't like Sasuke because my subjective opinion does not mean that someone who loves Sasuke is wrong about loving him. After all, my opinion should not be a measuring stick for someone who loves Sasuke.

In fact, I have moots who think very highly of Sasuke AND Megumi, and like them for different reasons. So I actually try to refrain from speaking negatively of Sasuke because I respect my moot's opinions and know that perhaps I am not seeing something they can.

That said, when we compare Sasuke and Megumi, we're measuring the characters against standards that don't apply to either of them.

Since Sasuke is on a revenge character arc, you can't really talk about how he explores his sense of self in order to re-define it (which is one of the main reasons I love Megumi). Sasuke wants power, but that just means he has to train harder.

Megumi does go the training route, but in the end, perhaps it was a moment of clarity and introspection that helped him level up, not just the physical training.

Likewise, since Megumi is on an arc meant to re-define his sense of self, you can't really talk about how he went about seeking power to reach his goal because Megumi is not interested in power for the sake of power, and/or does not have grandiose aspirations.

As you say, their motivations couldn't be more different.

Now, I think it bears repeating that when I started watching jjk, even though I liked him right from the beginning, I thought Megumi was underwhelming af given his trope.

But that's only because, again, I was measuring Megumi against the wrong standards.

In retrospect, I also do feel like Gege wanted Megumi to be perceived as "underwhelming given his trope" (MOST ESPECIALLY SASUKE imo), otherwise the payoff in chapter 58 would not have had the same impact.

So anyways.

To your point. Existing at the intersection of these two fandoms must be an interesting experience because most of the bad comparisons are rooted on surface level similarities.

Thing is, being able to see the nuance between the two characters and why neither is objectively better than the other, does require the ability to read below the surface AND to at least have a certain degree of emotional investment in the story and the characters.

Also, can I just say fandom wars are so pointless?

It's just a bunch of people who can't handle the idea that other people could have a different opinion because they see their opinion as the ultimate truth.

And don't let me act like I'm not the kind of pretentious asshat who will say something like "Megumi is a purposeful deconstruction but Aki is a copy" because I can be quite elitist myself. I just also don't take my opinion too seriously because I know I don't own the ultimate truth about what is and isn't good media.

Also I like to indulge in trash tv like every normal human being in this planet so that alone makes my taste questionable.

To that point, I saw a really good quote that is so relevant to your ask:

The price for certainty means that other people must be wrong. And that leads to holy war.

Lionel Corbett

"uwu Megumi is weak"

But... there's something that has been nagging me about why people don't like Megumi in general that is highly related to how his predecessors, Sasuke included, set the bar we use to measure the trope, most specifically in Battle Shonen.

And that's that the way me measure what makes Megumi a good character is based on toxic masculinity values.

Now... I'm not an expert on the topic, so please correct me if I'm wrong or need to expand my perspective here but...

There's something inherently "toxic" about how people are approaching both Megumi independently of Sasuke, and Megumi compared to Sasuke.

Like... if Sasuke wouldn't curl up in a ball because he's had to experience a traumatic event and instead just keeps on going, that's called repression and/or suppression and it's both not a healthy coping mechanism AND not realistically written.

So what if Sasuke would never?

Why is it wrong for a character (or a real human for that matter) to feel so defeated after the trauma they've had to face?

I am more interested in learning why we are so obsessed with looking down on a fictional character for feeling down on himself... like, Momo, are you ok, dude?

Do you ever allow yourself to feel all your feels or do you just berate yourself when you feel down on yourself?

And why are we measuring trauma on a scale of who has it worse just so that we can cancel someone else's trauma?

Actually, the fact that we can sit here and talk about who has it best and who has it worse like it's a competition?

That's gaslighting, and it's toxic af.

But again. The problem is that jjk fans themselves hate on Megumi independently of whether they compare him to Sasuke or not.

And I'm not sure whether kin here just has shitty reading comprehension skills, but...

I'm noticing a trend that has EVERYTHING to do with my female gaze and it's the fact that I kind of don't give a fuck about power scaling.

Like, it's cool. I'm not hating on people who do, you know. I'm just saying I don't care for it. But what I'm trying to say here is that people hate on Megumi for weird reasons...

Like... I don't think Hyena here is reading the same manga if he can't tell that Megumi has had character development, unless what he expects in terms of character development is...

Which is fine too... I loved dbz back in the day.

Who could ever forget Goku looking like he has to poop so bad his hair grows really long?

But like... are we fucking for real? JJK is far too nuanced to limit your experience of the manga to flashy fights and power ups only.

Again, if this is the standard we are using to measure Megumi as a character, no wonder people are disappointed.

So I say let them eat cake.

No shade to all of the people who I screenshotted here, but they're going to have to come up with smarter arguments to back up their subjective opinions about Sasuke's supposed objective superiority and why Megumi sucks.

In all honesty, the fact that Megumi is perceived as weak strikes me as toxic masculinity.

I get that some people read fiction to escape from their daily lives and not have to face the failures and successes they experience in the real world, but I personally want more human characters who fail and cry because that's more relatable to me than Goku's super powered instinct Saiyan form or whatever its called.

I guess we all read for different reasons. All I'm saying is "don't hate on Megumi for shortsighted reasons."

To bring it back to where it all started, let's be real here:

Megumi will NEVER be Sasuke

and that is fantastic news because Megumi is Megumi and that's exactly why we love him.

Dear anon, I think I went on a rant there hahahaha.

BAH! I just get so annoyed when people hate on Megumi for shallow reasons. Like, if you don't like him, you don't like him and that's that. But like some of the comments about him are just...

LOL!

Thank you for stopping by anon!