#i think there are a lot of interesting answers to be had here

[yoiurboi]

Just Roll With It: Matron Rose AU

[Part One: Synopsis]

"Growing up, Ava Corvey was destined for greatness. And even though they saw the darkness in their path she felt as though she could work against it. Make a change. But then the worst of the worst of the worst happened.

She tried running away. She tried drinking her problems away and forgetting. But they could never outgrow their roots. Literally, and figuratively. As those flaming orange roots came back in, something her hit her. And she realized she still had something left to do.

With the chains of her past still hanging on her, and the weight of the whiskey in her bag weighing them down, Corvey Jay set sail, looking for the answers to every question she had asked in past two years. And this time, they wouldn't stop without getting an answer."

BOOM! Ava jump scare! It was kind of tough to come up with stuff for them, since we don't actually know too much about Ava in canon. I mean, as much as they are important to the narrative, we've mostly just been given "good" and "brave". Oh, and "dead", but that doesn't apply here.

Apparently Ava is monk, so I really wanted to play with that using the Drunken Master subclass. I think the loss of Jay would hit Ava way harder than vice versa. Not that Jay somehow loves Ava less than Ava does to her, but the loss of a younger sibling, someone who you feel the need to protect, idk, that's just a lot more devastating I think.

I figure Ava would lean more into full blown abandoning the Ferin name. Especially since, being higher ranked than Jay was in canon, they would have a little more... knowledge of what happened and IS currently happening.

Anyways, sorry for the long wait! If you're interested in more of this AU, then tell me who you want to see next!

[thedivinetarot]

Nobody's son, Nobody's Daughter

Does your future spouse feel your energy?

☆ How to chose your pile? 🕯📜🗝🦪

☆ Disclaimer:

This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't, if you need to know whether they feel it or not DM for in depth reading🤍. This is for people who want a sign or are manifesting their fs. Again, don't hang your whole life on your spouse, they will come in the divine timing.

☆ Note:

I'm back as I promised dears. And I have an important announcement. I started Ko-Fi account and joining is totally free for everybody. If you'd like to support me here is the link, no pressure on donations.

Lots of love💕

Arya

Pile 1 - Garden 🌿

🤍 Do they feel your energy?

Yes but you guys are hidden from each other lol. This person (regardless of their gender) is out there but you can't SEE them and they can't SEE you. I see that there's emotional charge here. Perhaps you two feel the same things in the same time or have the same emotional capacity and emotional maturity. I see distance, you guys have a distance between you and them. This person is far away yet you two are on the same emotional wavelength. This person might either be your age or a little older, perhaps 3-6 years older. They are coming into your life but first you have to finish a karmic cycle or change your location or after deep transformation. Perhaps when you meet them you'll be relocating from your parent's house into another city for work or study. This person might also be someone that you cut off, or blocked or might be someone who is finishing a huge chapter in their life. I see that they are working on their confidence and building healthy emotional regulation. There’s a choice that should be made before you two meet. I see that you two are in your own shell and the world is just "world-ing" around you. There's emotional independence here and both of you seems to not focus on dating or relationships but they feel the same way you feel and your lives are quite in sync with one another. That's what I'm seeing, thank you for reading this🤍 and take care💕.

♡ Placements for you:

Scorpio, Gemini, Virgo, Cancer, Taurus, Dominant planets in moon, neptune, Mercury. Sun or moon in the 8th, 3rd, 6th, 4th, and 2nd house in the chart.

Pile 2 - Girl with candle🕯

🤍 Do they feel your energy?

Short answer yes, but they are someone you know from the past (if youdon’t have anyone in mind then it might be a potential soulmate). I see that there's always an exchange of energy between you and this person. I see that you are focusing on yourself and your own business in the material world but you have a strong etheric cord between you two. Perhaps this person is stalking you energetically, thinking of you. Wishing they could come forward and express their feelings but there’s something stopping them. Perhaps the divine and Perhaps their own circumstances. Now I'm not saying you should run back to them because they are like that. Be more discerning and take care of yourself. If this is a toxic person or emotionally distant one it's not something you want to revisit and relive again. What is interesting is that this person and you have finished a karmic cycle but they can't freaking let go. They are like an energetic parasite that is lurking in the shadows. You keep them up at night and they keep overthinking of "what if" and "what could've been". There’s a distance between you and this person too. This person sees potential but... they know that you'll probably not approve of them again if they come in. I see that you have recovered from your rejection wound. Someone here, either you or them have a rejection wound and you had to recover after this situation with that person. Not gonna lie to you and make things rosy or cute but this person is trying to indulge in the material world to forget about you but the thoughts of you keep slipping in their mind. That's everything I have for you pile 2, take care💕.

♡ Placements for you:

Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Pisces, Libra. Dominant planets in Neptune, Venus, Uranus, Saturn. Sun or moon in the 2nd, 6th, 10th, 12th and 7th house in your chart.

Pile 3 - Candles ✨

🤍 Do they feel your energy?

Hey, so... Short answer No, they don't. I'm picking up on two people here. Someone old in their late 20s or middle 30s to early 40s. This person is very mature. Have their own stable job and income. And they are serious about dating OR someone who is very comfortable in the solitude and doesn't want to leave their comfort zone and meet new people. I'm picking up on someone who had their fair share of heartbreak and those experiences made them more resilient and more mature. I see someone who is responsible and structured, not spiritual at all. I don't see any energy exchange happening between you and them. Your lives are not in alignment yet. It might happen if they chose to move from their comfort zone and get to know people. They are so strict I'm picking up on ESTJ, ENTJ, ISTX and even INXJ. Someone in their own world and doesn't leave their comfort zone easily. Now the other person is their complete opposite. I'm picking up on someone who have the most chaotic love life. Your person is in their early to mid 20s, possibly still in college. They are partying hard and lovebombing others harder. This person's life is a MESS rn. I see that they are in a very chaotic state in their life especially toward dating. I see that this person is a serial dater or date multiple people in the same time or one after another because they hate being alone. I see that they are currently in a relationship with someone and they are either being lovebombed/ sexbombed by that perosn lol or they are doing that thing. Anyways, this person's is love life is unstable af. I'm picking up on someone with the MBTI ESFP, ENFP, ISFP, and for a few they might be an EXTP. In both cases you and that person are not aligned energetically yet. Because you have your life and they have their life too.

☆ Placements for you:

Libra, Aries, Taurus, Sagittarius, Cancer, Mars in Aries and Sagittarius. Dominant planets in Mars, Saturn. Sun or moon in the 7th, 1st, 2nd, 9th and 4th house in your chart.

Post date: 25th of June 2025 - Wed.

3 ✅ out of 4

*Feedback is appreciated

[n0tamused]

I have a request!!

Currently watching suits (highly recommend). How about a Lawyer! reader x Dr. Ratio, Sunday, and Aventurine?

₊˚⊹♡ "My partner is a lawyer!"

A/n: This request has been marinating in my inbox for way too long, but regardless, I do hope that whoever reads this enjoys it!<3 I love this request, so please feel free to request more characters for the same prompt! I missed writing Ratio chat </3 Admittedly, I did not watch Suits (shame on me ikik shut up), and so idk really how they talk on the show, so whatever I mentioned here is a dramatized version from my own knowledge in law.

Contents: Dr. Ratio/Aventurine/Sunday(separate) x GN!Lawyer!Reader, fluff

Ko-Fi |  Masterlist

✦ ⋆ ࣪.Veritas Ratio

-As a man of knowledge himself, Veritas certainly holds great appreciation for those that are keen on learning and executing the knowledge they hold, and he is most appreciative of justice - which as a natural course involves admiration for you as well

-He has heard of your achievements far long before he met you. A few times he read the articles you wrote for the local news agencies, but he held most interest for the online educational videos you put out. They were short, concise and aimed to help the people that were not in the financial situation that would allow them to seek out their own lawyer

-So when he did meet you he was full of chitter and chatter for you, all contained in a well crafted box of mannerisms and polite words. But anyone from the outside would notice that he seemed much more tolerable with you than with others

-Many months down the line and with his hand in yours, he wonders how it all came to be - him? Romantically involved with you? 

-If you have a haunch over a certain theory or a certain topic, Veritas is there with you to explore it further and give his own input on the topic. Doesn’t matter if it is a subject that’s not the most familiar to him - he is a sponge for knowledge and knows how to research efficiently.

-He respects your privacy which you uphold with your clients -that is only to be suspected of you to do, otherwise if you told him of the “tea” from your clients, he would have begun to raise an eyebrow and question your work ethics

“Dear,” he began with a huff as he came to stand in your doorway, one hand holding up papers which were clearly not his. “I found the documents you were looking for. Be more careful next time with where you put them” he said as he walked inside your shared bedroom, his slippers making the distinct noise across the floor of shliiippp-shloop. “Where were they?” you question, confusion marking your entire face as you reached out to take the documents scribbled with your handwriting. “I found them on my pile” was all he said as he crawled onto his side of the bed... .... “Veritas..” “Hmm,. yes?” “Is this your handwriting?” The answer was clear as day as you noted the long paragraphs underneath the  big block of text you wrote about a legal theory you wished to dive deeper in. You had stared at them in your sleepy daze, for a moment thinking it was your writing which you, somehow, forgot about. But no, your eyes did not deceive you. Dr. Ratio clearly spent a lot of time on this document. Did he intentionally take it from your pile? One had to wonder. His greed for knowledge sickened you.. He huffs beside you in feigned denial and you chuckle at him.

✦ ⋆ ࣪.Aventurine

-When Aventurine was served the fact you work in the legal field he gave off a crisp whistle, his first thoughts being “that must be a lot of words”, accompanied by a lighthearted jest that he now has someone who he can rely on should he get in trouble. At that you have to jokingly reprimand him and tell him to not get into any unnecessary trouble

-He might start to tease a little, throwing out little remarks that frame that stereotypical view people have on lawyers, or anyone working in the legal field for that matter

“I have cash on me right now that I’d be more than happy to pass on into your capable hands, should you agree to…pull me out of this sticky situation” he says with a wink as he waltzes into your office, his eyes taking in the shelves stacked with books old and new, as well as the statue of a blindfolded woman holding up the scales. His gloved fingertips touch one of the scales, making it tip down. His answer is a long and tired sigh.

-But one day he surprised you with a box of sweets after a particularly harrowing case, his tone unusually mellow and inviting as he invited you to join him for a walk. 

-Aventurine is not the man you go for if you want to have a chat about one legal theory or the other, but if you find yourself in a pinch and could use getting a word with someone out of your reach - Aventurine can make a few calls to help you out

“How do you even have the patience for all this?” he asks incredulously, his pointer finger touching one of the thick files resting on top of your desk. “Don’t tell me you actually read all of this” his figure seemed to deflate, shoulders sagging, face falling, trailing around the table to come up next to you. “I did..” you replied, focusing far too much on the papers before you. “You’re way too boring” he countered, followed by a quick kiss to your cheek.

✦ ⋆ ࣪.Sunday

-Before the Dream shattered, Sunday didn’t think too highly of anyone who wished to uphold justice within Penacony, deeming there was simply no need for it while he was working to set the perfect order. There is no crime, no faulty businesses or people to sue in his world, and there is no place for them either. So why should lawyers and judges exist?

-Of course, this view was nothing but another way he deceived himself into believing that the path he was following was right, just even. This view changed drastically after the shackles on his body were lifted.

-Sunday considers the job rather prestigious. If there were no people like you, or people with the same wish to bring justice and security to your society as you do, the world would be a much darker place

-He is silent in his curiosities and admiration, never directly asking you inquiries, partly due to some guilt still eating away at him from his past

-But he does not shy away entirely if you approach him first

-He knows more about the ways an old monarchy would work, but he welcomes your insight on the society you live in now and strives to build and enhance by giving yourself to this role. A part of him also worries when he sees you haunched over your table instead of resting in your quarters. Not once did you wake up with a blanket drawn up over you or a refreshing drink sat in front of you

-Sunday doesn’t quite believe it once your relationship develops into one of romance. It was most unexpected and it leaves him with more questions than answers. But now, he finally feels at ease to fire them at you

“But why?” One of his wings sags lower than the other, as if burdened by the piercings they hold. “Would that not be counterproductive or unjust, rather?” He is looking down in thought, his brows drawn closer together, although his voice carries no frustration or denial to the wisdom you were sharing. “The ones who set this law down have inspected the longest duration a pregnancy can last, even taking into account any abnormalities that can happen during the same. If the duration for this lawsuit was unlimited, it would risk the position of the man that was suspected to be the father”. A moment passes in silence, but then he nods, his wings raised back up with newfound strength and another question already filtering in through those soft grey feathers

-Conversations with him are mellow, although Sunday spends more time listening than talking himself. He lets you rave on about anything that may be making you happy or frustrated at the moment, and he is at his happiest when you return to him with another successful case under your belt.

-After a little while you may also notice Sunday becoming even more aware of his actions - suddenly he is nitpicking his wording or the actions he takes - what if someone decides to sue him for this small thing? You have to reassure him a few times that the law is not that strict, giggling while you’re at him when you see his almost fearful and alert face, wings puffy and in a cramp

Ⓒ n0tamused/jarttavia_. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[clinical-space-podcast]

Okay here it is. The moment that zero of you have been waiting for: My infodump about framing devices and modern audio fiction.

If you're a newer fiction podcast listener, you may have asked, "Why do so many shows pretend to be some real thing?" And if you're a newer fiction podcast creator (as I am), you may have asked, "Do I have to use a framing device?"

Short Answer: It's never been a requirement, but it is fun for some creators, it is useful for some stories, and the tradition of it dates back farther than you might think.

(Extremely) Long Answer:

I would say that the tradition's lineage can be traced back in two directions, separately: horror and radio.

Horror.

This one goes way back. Way way back. Dracula, Frankenstein, etc etc... There really is something about what we would now call "found footage" that creates a workable balance between believable and unbelievable - make it seem like it could have actually happened, however impossible the story is, and (if done right) the horror aspects hit deeper. Combine that with the automatic sense of the unkown that comes from only reading snippets from a few characters' personal perspectives; horror thrives on the unknown.

[Tangent] The podcast Re:Dracula, which I feel should be mentioned here, is a very interesting representation of all this - as a direct adaptation, it maintains the framing device of the novel Dracula: the letters. Its extension of the device is brought not in the audio format but in the RSS feed format. No attempt is made to explain why we're hearing the voices of the characters, as many fiction podcasts default to, rather the immersion comes in experiencing the sense of time between the missives. [End Tangent]

Moving into film, found footage actually took a while to make it onto the scene, but once it did, oh my god did it change everything. Okay, Blair Witch was technically not the first found footage horror film, but we're not going down that rabbit hole. Most would call it the first good one, or at least the first successful one. Which is interesting because at this point we've had plenty of films based on books with framing devices, most of which entirely do away with the framing in the adaptation. So why was 1999 the year film was ripe for framing devices to enter the horror film genre in a big way? I would say it's plausibility. Personal-sized video cameras were now (relatively) affordable, and had been around long enough that people who made and watched films were familiar with them. So it's now a believable thing to be able to cobble together a documentary from clips found on a camcorder, and so they do and now the horror market is changed forever. Next comes copycats, and movies that take the concept and make it their own (like Cloverfield and Paranormal Activity), and movies that parody the now-ubiquitous trope (like Grave Enounters).

So by the time fiction podcasts take off, found footage horror is well established as a beloved reawakening of a beloved literary tradition. And it fits easily in audio horror for much the same reasons as it did in video horror. Think Magnus, Archive 81, probably every SCP podcast, and so on. And within audio fiction, the horror genre is very popular and very much a trendsetter, historically speaking.

Radio.

I could probably get away with just discussing a single event here, and you can probably guess it, but I'll try to go for a broader scope than just the autumn of 1938.

So, honestly, as far as I can tell, old radio shows had a habit of using framing devices just for funsies (or at least for lots of different reasons that I could get lost in exploring but I won't). Importantly though, they largely used different framing devices than books had used up to this point. They were innovative, which is an attitude that certainly transferred into modern audio fiction. Without digging too deep into any of them, here's some notable examples:

Let's start with The Shadow because of course we start with The Goddamn Shadow. This one used a very soft framing device, since it doesn't really explain why the audio broadcast exists, just why it's coming to you in audio format instead of visual: The Shadow has invisibility powers. Yeah I know that's a pretty weak connection, but it's a connection the show attempts to imply: The Shadow often manifests as a disembodied voice, and that ties in to it being a radio show. 🤷🏻

Sherlock Holmes (the one with Basil Rathbone) used a somewhat stricter framing device in pretending to be conversations between Holmes, Watson and an interviewer, in which they describe the events of solving the mystery after the fact - pretty similar to the framing of the original books, but adapted well to audio.

Dragnet framed itself as police reports, I think.

Dimension X and X Minus One both, to varying degrees, frame themselves as tales coming to the listener from the actual future and from an actual alternate universe, respectively. (If you ask me, they should have traded names.) Of course, this doesn't make much use of the audio format specifically, but it illustrates that by this point framing devices in audio were a tradition and not unusual at all.

~We now return you to the music of Ramón Raquello and his orchestra.

Yeah okay here it is. We have to go here.

October 30, 1938 was a day that changed science fiction, audio drama, FCC regulations, and probably the entirety of scripted performance art, forever.

Orson Welles' radio adaptation of The War of the Worlds was so flawlessly framed as breaking news that it famously caused something of a mass panic. While the extent of the panic was slightly exaggerated, it's true that the show was so well done that many people who missed the beginning (or didn't pay attention to it) thought the nation was actually being invaded.

The story that they wanted to tell relied heavily on the device of being a purported news broadcast, and there's no doubt that its impact stems from that device - we're still talking about it 90 years later, and not because of the plot of the story.

I'll leave the parallels and differences between the legacy of War of the Worlds and that of The Black Tapes to be explored by someone else.

Modern Audio Fiction Carries On the Tradition.

Broadcasts.

I've already mentioned TMA, Re:Drac, and Black Tapes.

I haven't mentioned Welcome to Night Vale, which (love it or hate it) was without a doubt one of the biggest catalysts of the audio drama renaissance in podcast form. We all know people who have only ever listened to one fiction podcast, almost invariably either TMA or WtNV. And Night Vale came first and got popular first. Its format as a small-town news radio broadcast has been imitated, innovated, responded to, and intentionally avoided more times than I can count. Very much worth mentioning is that Night Vale popularized the idea of using a framing device not as a way to add plausibility to its stories (nothing could, it's peak absurdism after all), but to add structure. The author knows what to write where, the listener knows what to expect when. Another appeal of framing devices, and another reason why they're so widespread.

Tapes.

Ah yes the tapes. Horror podcasts and their tapes. Drowning in tapes (/lh). It works so well because (a) it's an easy fit for found footage audio, (b) it adds a "spooky" analog horror vibe, and (c) it's fun and fairly easy to design, and forgives a lot in terms of recording quality and editing skill - good for creators at all levels of proficiency. Voicemail and voice memos have similar benefits but without the well-loved "spooky analog" aspect.

Limitations.

The Bright Sessions, Moonbase Theta Out, Wolf 359, and quite a few others all have something in common: they eventually gave up their framing devices. In my opinion, the shows' improvements after doing so is not by any means a reflection on framing as a concept, but instead a demonstration of a show's need to adapt as it grows. Sometimes Episode 149 follows the same form and format as Episode 1, sometimes it doesn't, and a creator's ability to accurately assess whether the format fits the story they want to tell leads to decisions like this (which can be really difficult decisions to make), but ultimately, doing what's best for the story itself always pays off.

When you choose a framing format, you sort of lock in how you're going to write the show and what it's going to sound like. This can be very useful. Like in writing poetry, some of us work better under constraints - it causes us to flex our creativity. It also, as explained above, creates a framework, a formula, which can make it easier to outline an episode.

But it doesn't work for every story. Some shows hold on to their framing devices too long, the plot filling and stretching the format until the frame is bursting at the seams. Conversely, though, I say a series shouldn't abandon a device if it doesn't need the new narrative freedom to further the story - something to fill the absence of the episode format as a player itself in the work.

Form as Storytelling.

This is, in my opinion, one of the greatest (and too often untapped) strengths of framing devices in any medium. I LOVE IT when a piece of art uses its medium as part of the art itself. What part of your story can you only tell because of the medium you're using? What unique part of your medium can you use to enhance the story?

Some absolute favorite examples of this idea from other media, in no particular order: the ending of The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, the very end of Zelda TotK, Shakespeare's frequent use of play-within-a-play, the Thor fight in God of War, tons of bits of Series of Unfortunate Events (the books), the twist and out-of-game-play in DDLC, all of WandaVision, the elephant scene from It Takes Two, Asteroid City...

It's something I kind of want to see more of in audio fiction: powerful moments in using the medium of audio as a tool to tell the story rather than only a limitation to be written around. Framing devices help with this, but there are a lot of opportunities in other tools too. I find it in horror and comedy series, and few other places.

Conclusion.

This went on way longer than I expected. I have too many thoughts about it. To sum up:

Why are there so many shows pretending to be some real thing? Because there is a very strong tradition of it in audio fiction, because it provides a lot of structure and benefits especially to newer creators, because it allows for the medium to be part of the art form in a way, and of course because it's fun!

Should I use a framing device in my fiction podcast? My dear, nobody can answer that but you! Ask youself if it would improve your story, if it would improve your writing ability, if it sounds fun to you, and if it would create a show that you would want to listen to (I always say that you should be your own target audience; if you would want the thing to exist, odds are someone else will enjoy its existence). If you use one, you're in good company; if you don't, you're in good company. If you start with one and drop it for season 3, or if you start without one and pick it up partway through, you're in good company. You can do a full-cast immersive found-footage show with sound effects, you can do an audiobook as a podcast, and you can do anything in between!

Feel free to add corrections, context, and additional notes to any of the above. I'm not a history expert, I'm just a nerd with internet access.

Peace and love on every planet, y'all.

[fumiscripts]

🃁 SHINING DIAMOND

masterlist . prev chapter . next chapter

You stare at the screens, not entirely focused, just watching. Your group wasn't playing in matches three and four, so they decided it would be nice to watch the match that team W played, to prepare or something. You couldn't care less, since they were nothing to note of. You'll just destroy them again, just like any other time.

“This is boring,” Shidou yawns beside you, and you couldn't agree more. He bounced his leg, getting bored quicker than an ipad kid. He sighs, huffs and rumbles, pink eyes darting around the room for anything that could serve as entertainment. Picking a fight could cure his boredom, but with you showing zero interest in it when he did it last time, he decided it wouldn't be any more entertaining.

There was a zone of chatter from everyone around, none of it worthy of being entertained by you. Flawed formations, half-assed plans— did they take account of their individual skills and teamplay with their eyes closed or what? It almost made you laugh, but decided not to do it in front of their faces. You stood up from your position on the floor, abruptly taking your leave, not caring if they thought of you as a lackadaisical person for not joining in on their plans. They can't do anything without you, anyway. They have no right to complain.

Shidou stared and thought he should do the same. It's stuffy here.

Cold water splashed down your face, rinsing off the facial cleanser you put on. You sigh, grabbing a towel and drying off, leaving the faucet open. You'll go to bed early tonight. Have a good sleep and all while the rest are busy worrying over nothing— they're gonna get their asses carried, anyway— and watching game replays. The mattress was stiff, though. You should get a luxury bed or whatever it was called next–

“How is it going so far, [Name]?”

You almost jump. Almost. Who the fuck wouldn't? The guy had silent footsteps, just to talk like a living jumpscare. Ego, you bastard. “Jeez, old man,” you sigh, peering your head over the cloth, narrowing your eyes at him. “You’re like a ghost.”

Ego said nothing, leaning on the washroom door with his hands in his pockets, not looking at you just yet. Why was he here in person, anyway? He had those screens he could project himself from in most of the rooms in the building, he could've used one of them to talk to you. He waited for the answer to his previous question, head lowered so you couldn't see his face clearly. How overly theatrical…

“It’s too easy,” you decide to answer, a slight complaint hidden in your tone. He catches onto it, as usual. You've been complaining like a professional ever since he took you in as his disciple. “Boring, uninteresting, lackluster…” you add on a few more adjectives to get your point across, placing the towel on top of the counter. “...and hella disappointing. Why am I in team V, anyway? You know I'm too good to be stuck with that lot, Ego-san.”

He hums, not denying it. “Any letter above team V doesn't exist,” Ego dropped a spark, not much of a bomb. Though it would be for anyone else. You had your suspicions, having known him for a while before. “Every wing thinks they're the fifth one.”

“What for?” you question, curious. You leaned back onto the surface, listening to his words, surprisingly— since you tune him out most of the time— perhaps because this time, it was something new rather than a rant you've heard from him before. Your mentor is an interesting fellow, and this whole blue lock thing was something that was right up his alley. Who would put three hundred high school strikers in soccer's equivalent of squid games? No one else than Ego Jinpachi, that's for sure.

“So that the majority think they're at the bottom of the barrel,” he stated. “What better motivation than the thought that you're barely hanging on? Of course, it doesn't work with the likes of you, who are already self-assured,” Ego tilts his head, glasses glinting under the lights. “It’ll filter out those who don't have the desperation, too. Those who don't have what it takes to be the best striker.”

You pause in thought, staring at the plainly tiled floor. “‘Turning zero into one’ and ‘focusing on your own goals rather than your team,’” you list off. “... The majority is already failing those things, then,” you recall how dependent your team is on you and Shidou. Sure, you displayed the latter one, but your team is hopeless when it comes to individual goals. How disappointing.

“It’s just the first selection, [Name],” he assured, seeing your dwindling engrossment in the project. “Rest assured that the fight will only get more heated after narrowing the players down,” he pulled away from the wall, standing up straighter, taking a hand out of his pocket to push up his glasses. “Don’t waste your energy just yet.”

A blink, before a slow exhale. You'll keep playing at this level for now, then. Not like you could do otherwise, as the game is over before anyone could trigger you to play seriously. The sound of running water filled your silence, faucet knob remaining unclosed.

He walked towards you, relaxed with sure actions. “I’ll use Blue Lock for you just as much as I use you for Blue Lock.”

You run a hand through your hair, pushing yourself up from the counter. “I figured you would, Ego-san,” you replied, walking off to continue with your nightly routine before hitting the bed. Ego watched you through the mirror, following your retreating back until you turned the corner. He looked down, seeing the tap which you annoyingly left open. Out of the heap of unpolished gems, you were the shining diamond he'll turn into a masterpiece.

Ego turned the faucet off.

“Fifth match of wing five goes to team V!”

Your team won 7-2, and that leads you to eight points saved up. Finally, you can sleep on top of a proper bed now. Team W fell crushed, most of them on the ground, clutching at the artificial grass because of yet another loss. For them, the only chance they had is to be the highest ranker in their team.

Team V left the field, not sharing that problem thanks to you, having yet another celebration for standing there and cheering you on. The time for dinner rolled in, and you faced the point-system screen once again.

You purchase the luxury bed, knowing you just crushed the soccer dreams of ten people.

“Yo, [Nickname], give me your number,” Shidou says from beside you, having just bought his phone back. You raise your eyebrow at the sudden nickname, receiving his phone— which had an… interesting case. He grins at you, watching you sigh like he's some admirer who wants your number. You still gave it, anyway.

“Is this a sperm phone case?” you couldn't help but ask, almost amused. Where the hell did he even get something like this? Actually, nevermind. You can buy a shit ton of diabolical shit online, nowadays.

He beams. “Yeah. Makes a big statement, doesn't it?” it's certainly unique, you think, handing it back towards him, now with your contact. He can get a reward for having the most unexpected things. Last time, you found out he somehow managed to get eyeliner from the staff. You wouldn't be surprised to find out that he brought in hair dye next.

“It sure does make people look twice,” you shrug. And of course he takes that as a compliment.

The rest of the meal went as usual, with you deciding to sit on the farther side of the team’s proclaimed table. There wasn't a sitting arrangement, of course, but throughout the days spent in blue lock, everyone started going to the same seats, every group sat together, out of habit and for convenience.

You pick at your food, not really feeling the need to eat. Eating the same thing again and again gets old. A sigh, before poking the pork cutlet on your plate, making yourself take a bite. Your eyes roam across the room, observing, taking in the interactions between players and silently judging them in your mind.

That brunet has fun eyes, they must seem amber under the sun. That one sits like a shrimp, what a bad posture. That other one shouldn't have that haircut, it isn't flattering and— oh wow, you accidentally held eye contact with someone across the cafeteria. A second. Two. You didn't even try to look away, acting like it was a staring competition.

A few moments pass, before he tore his gaze first, suddenly gaining interest on the table. Oh, he's flustered? That's cute. Must be someone from team V, since that's the usual area they take. His light purple eyes were still trained on the surface, as if the shade used on it was fascinating. You didn't miss the way he peeked up from his ravenet bangs, though, fiddling and adjusting his headband until you finally decided to look away.

You could practically hear his sigh of relief from all the way over here.

(a/n) expanding more on mc and ego’s relationship djskajia backstory soon? (not next chap tho)

do people care about the hype moments in the field? yeah prolly... dunno if I execute it well tho...

if you can guess who the character is at the end you'll get a free smooch from me

oh yeah btw mc is acquainted w some of the new gen 11 lolol guess who those are

taglist:: AEoM: @sxnnee, @shidousprincess, @lakeside-paradise, @shrii-kk, @neversam, @motchilyn, @tired-xyra-urstruly, @sabrina-senpai, @justanotherweeb666, @kaikaidenkai, @beepbopzlorp

© fumiscripts 2024-2025. don't steal, repost, translate or modify my works without my permission.

[mostlyghoestly]

Chapter 3- Grease and Guts

A/N- Im thinking of making this a story on Wattpad after I finish on here! what do yall think about that? It will be more detailed, while less “Y/N” but following the plot of the story of the tv show more .

Summary:You shouldn’t be here, be this close to him but you just can’t help it.

Part 1 | Part 2

Tag List:@ihyperfixateoncharacters @untoldshortsofthefandoms @stormgrl19

You swore to yourself it was just the two nights. A fluke. A heat-of-the-moment thing. A harmless brush with a world you didn’t belong to but Ironwood didn’t let go of people that easy. Especially not when Shyann was involved. It started with a text while you were elbow-deep in flea dip, scrubbing down a wriggling mutt someone left behind in the clinic’s alley.

[SHYANN]

Garage hang tonight. You-Know-Who’s crew will be there. Don’t be a coward. I’m outside at 7.

You rolled your eyes. Left it on read. Didn’t answer when she called. And still… at 6:52, you found yourself standing in front of your closet, biting your lip as you stared down an array of clothes that didn’t feel like they would make you even fit in. Didn’t hate it though.

You went simple. A cute pale pink dress and flowed around you perfectly. You looked like a ethereal Fairy . Makeup soft and simple, mascara and some lip gloss.

The garage sat at the end of an old service road, half-swallowed by overgrown weeds and the crumbling bones of old brick buildings. The sign above the door was faded, paint peeling, but you could still make out Locke’s Auto if you squinted

The lot was full when you pulled up with Shyann , cars gleaming under harsh halogen lights, hoods popped, engines exposed like raw muscle. Someone had music blasting from a speaker in the corner, the thrum of bass bouncing off metal walls. Guys in oil-streaked coveralls leaned over engines, laughing and cursing. A couple girls lounged on the hoods of cars, looking half-bored, half-deadly.

You’d barely stepped out of the car before the smell of oil and burnt rubber hit you. And then you saw him. Ray was crouched by the open hood of his car, sleeves pushed up, grease smudged across his forearms. His hair was messier than usual, strands sticking to his brow. A cigarette dangled from his lips, unlit. He worked with the kind of easy, practiced confidence that only came from owning every room he stepped into.

You tried not to stare. Failed miserably.

Shyann nudged you with a grin. “Y/N, you’re practically undressing him with your eyes.”

You glared. “Am not.”

“Babe, if you looked any harder, that man’s pants would unbutton themselves.”

You shoved her lightly. “Go get your damn drinks.” She winked and peeled off toward the cooler, leaving you to hover awkwardly by one of the cars. You ran your fingertips over the chrome side mirror, pretending you were interested in something ,anything ,other than the man across the garage.

That’s when it happened. A smear of grease appeared on the hem of your dress as you leaned against the car. You groaned under your breath, “Shit.”

“Careful, Doll,” a voice drawled behind you, low and lazy like honey warmed over an open flame. “Gonna get yourself all dirty.”

Your stomach flipped. You turned, already knowing who it was. Ray stood there, wiping his hands on a rag, that signature smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. Up close, he was worse. Smelled like motor oil, leather, and something sharper, something that curled low in your belly and made your knees a little too soft.

“Guess I should’ve worn something I didn’t mind getting wrecked,” you shot back, proud that your voice didn’t shake.

That grin of his widened, wicked and slow. “See, now you’re just teasing me.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks but held your ground, arching a brow. “You don’t strike me as the type that minds a little mess.” Ray chuckled, stepping closer. Not enough to touch, but enough that you could feel the heat coming off his skin, the way his eyes flicked down and back up, like he was undressing you in his head and didn’t give a single damn if you knew it.

“Depends on the kind of mess,” he murmured. The noise of the garage faded, everything else a blur in your peripheral vision. It was just him now. The way his voice slid over your skin. The way he looked at you like he could already picture you laid out across the hood of his car.

“I was starting to think you were avoiding me,” Ray added, eyes glinting.

You tilted your head, pretending to think about it. “Nah. I just have a job. Responsibilities. Not all of us can spend our days looking pretty in a garage.”

He let out a sharp laugh, genuinely amused. “Pretty, huh?”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice dropping, “too late.” Before you could fire back, he reached out , fingertip brushing the grease stain on your dress. The touch was barely there, but it sent a jolt straight through you.

“Official initiation,” he teased, his voice rough and close enough you could feel the words against your throat.

Your heart kicked up, pulse hammering behind your ribs. “You always get this handsy with the new girls?”

“Only the ones worth it.” You swallowed, caught somewhere between punching him and pulling him closer.

He grinned like he could read your mind. “Relax, Doll. Not gonna bite… unless you ask real nice.” A voice called his name from across the lot , one of his boys, waving him over. Ray lingered a second longer, eyes locked on yours like a dare, then tossed you the rag he’d been using.

“Keep it. Might need it later. By the way, What’s your name?”

“Y/N” You said bashfully. And with that, he was gone. Back to his car, back to his world, but you could still feel him under your skin, like the aftertaste of something sharp and sinful. Shyann reappeared at your side, drink in each hand, eyebrows up to her hairline. “Okay, what in the thirsty hell was that?”

You grabbed the drink, not trusting yourself to answer right away. Shyann nudged you. “Don’t play with me. That was a whole-ass moment. I’ve never seen him flirt like that. Never. Why is it every time i step away to get drinks?!”

You bit your lip, staring down at the grease-smudged rag in your hand like it might burst into flames. “It’s nothing.”

“Oh, it’s something.” She smirked. “You better watch yourself, Y/N. That boy’s dangerous.” And for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel like running from it. You felt like seeing how close you could get to the fire before it burned.

[ao3commentoftheday]

I don’t seem to know how to write fic without being mean to the characters. There was a time when I could write fluff, non-angsty slice-of-life, and so on, but now I don’t seem to be able to tell a story without SOMETHING that hurts them.

I’ve had a lot of mental health issues in the intervening years, which I’m sure is related to the why, but doesn’t answer the what or how. It’s a problem because it’s led to me no longer being able to show my partners hardly any of my writing (a lot of dead doves hanging about, which isn’t something they can really stomach). It bothers me that I can’t share my creativity with people I care about.

Do you have any tips for lightening up, or where to find nice wholesome ideas that might spark some joy?

I don’t want to stop writing fucked-up stuff entirely, I just want to find my “nice voice” again.

*hugs* I get it, anon. Sometimes the things that we want to write aren't things we want to share - or at least, not with certain people.

I think a good first step to branching out from your current writing focus is considering what it is about this type of story that's appealing to you right now.

Do you want to make someone else experience a kind of pain or suffering that you've suffered? Pain is a lot easier to manage when you aren't doing it alone.

Do you want to feel a sense of control over someone else's fate? This can be a big comfort when you either didn't have control of your own or you feel as if control is currently slipping out of your grasp.

Do you want the catharsis of seeing someone survive the impossible? It can be extremely satisfying to watch someone claw their way out of the worst situation you can imagine. They get to be the hero in the end. They get to survive.

Do you want to feel a different kind of catharsis? Like the release of emotion that comes with a character's death? Whether they find peace in that moment or whether it's also a torment, it's still a release in the end.

These are just a handful of reasons why you might be writing these kinds of stories right now, and I'm glad you don't want to stop. They are important to you, and even if your partners don't have the same interest that's okay.

You might still be able to share your existing stories if you give your partners a version with the particularly dead doves removed and replaced with a summary, like [Character is tortured until they reveal the secret location. They are left beaten and barely alive.] Then they can pick the story back up after that point.

Of course, if you're writing shorter works then that might not be possible. One way to get back to "nicer" stories that are also on the shorter side could be to write hurt/comfort. You could still get some of what you need by hurting the characters, but then your partners would get the wholesomeness you're looking for when another character takes care of the one you've hurt.

I'll leave it here for now and open it up to ideas from the blog. I know how tough it can be when you want to share something you love with someone you love, and I hope we can get you back to being able to do that.

[strang3lov3]

sorry if this is extremely personal or just random, but does decent sex actually exist? 5 1/2 years into my relationship with my bf, and i’m almost convinced i’m ace bc i genuinely don’t get turned on by him

There’s so much that goes into arousal. I recommend reading Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski because she breaks it down in such an interesting way that’s easy to understand, and that might be a good starting point if you’re hoping to learn more about yourself and your own arousal ❤️

Good, pleasurable sex does exist, but it takes work. 9/10 times I have sex it’s a good time. That one time that it’s a dud is usually just a bad day or whatever, because shit does happen, and even partners with a great sexual connection will have not so great sexual encounters from time to time. It’s life.

I wasn’t always having the best sex though, and I think that can be attributed to my vaginismus which in turn became a severe fear/disinterest in sex altogether, pretty much until I started experimenting with weed + sex and also writing, which helped me learn more about what turns me on.

I had this intense fear and disinterest in PIV sex, right? I’m a stubborn person, too. It’s not a good attitude to have and I’m glad it changed, but I kinda felt like “if I’m not having PIV sex then I’m not interested in pleasure at all bc what’s the point if I’m not cumming on dick and also I don’t even want PIV sex bc it hurts so I just don’t wanna do anything.”

What changed this was forcing a shift in my attitude about what pleasure and arousal means to me. I learned that I really liked to be teased, and to have that steady build up. I loved getting high before sex too because it helped me let go of my anxiety surrounding it. I also learned to stop looking at penetrative sex ending with an orgasm for the both of us as the be all end all, and to just allow myself to lean into whatever feels good. Take the pressure off yourself, so to speak. All of my best artwork was created in sketchbooks, and the things I was unhappiest with were created on canvas. Does this make sense? Lean into the little things, take pleasure where you can get it.

I don’t know if any of this is helpful 🫂 I hope it is. Before I started taking a more proactive approach toward my pleasure, I had similar thoughts as you. Maybe I’m asexual because I’m just not fucking turned on and I don’t get it because this man is handsome and I love him and I’m safe with him but I don’t wanna jump his bones.

Wasn’t asexual. Wasn’t unattracted to my partner. Spontaneous arousal is just hard for people a lot of the time, especially women. Sex doesn’t always happen like smut you read or the movies you watch, like for me, it’s rarely like “I’m so fucking horny for this person and I need to fuck right now”. There’s more that goes into it. Do you feel safe? Are your needs met? Do you feel relaxed? Are the fucking dishes done, is there something that needs taking care of? How’s your relationship with this person rn? Do you have good feelings toward them or bad? Emily Nagoski discusses all of this and more in her book, too. I think it’s a really good resource, and should at least serve as a jumping off point into finding the answer here.

[alisonsfics]

i’m all in

pairing: carmy berzatto x reader

summary: couples have disagreements— it’s normal. but after getting shaken by an argument with you, carmy is distracted at work, leading to a fire and his priorities shifting into place.

word count: 1.3k

a/n: just some cute fluff in honor of the next season of the bear coming out tomorrow

You laid on your couch, cuddling up against your dog as you tried to push your most recent fight with your boyfriend out of your mind

You and Carmy didn’t fight often, which is why your stomach was in such tight knots.

He’d stayed over at your apartment last night after taking you out to dinner. Everything went fine— better than fine, everything was great. You both had an amazing time, and you both were still very happy when you woke up this morning.

Carmy had pulled into his chest, cuddling with you against the sheets. Just like he always did— trying to savor all the time he could with you before his alarm went off.

Then, you made a comment suggesting the idea of you both living together.

You weren’t asking him to commit to anything right then and there. You just wanted him to know it’s something that had been on your mind.

Then, Carmy froze up. You waited for a response.

“Oh, I don’t know.” He mumbled, noticeably nervous.

He kept feeding you non-answers, and you got irritated.

You snapped at him. “If you don’t want to, just say that. Don’t push me away and lie to me and only pretend you’re interested.” You finally yelled.

He pulled away from you and ran off to get dressed. You tried to talk to him, but he rushed out to The Bear, mumbling something about needing to go in early.

Carmy was such a special guy— you knew that. He made you feel so loved and supported, until this morning.

You wanted more. More commitment. And you didn’t know if Carmy could give it to you.

You were brought out of your thoughts by your phone buzzing. You quickly glanced down at the screen and saw Richie’s name flashing across.

You hit the decline button, dropping your phone back onto the couch.

Had Carmy talked to him about the fight? Was he going to meddle and try to help patch things up? You didn’t want to think about it right now.

A second or two passed, and your phone started buzzing again.

You pressed accept and held it up to your ear. Before you could even say anything, Richie started rambling.

You didn’t catch most of the words since he was talking so fast. You could hear a lot of commotion, like people around him were yelling— which wasn’t unusual for the Bear.

You managed to catch a few words — “Carmy” “upset” and “fire”

“Richie, slow down. There was a fire? Is Carmy okay?” You asked him urgently.

You could feel your palms start to sweat as thoughts of worst case scenarios flooded your mind.

Your heart was racing. You could hear it thudding like a drum in your ears.

“Yeah, I think he’s fine now, but you need to get down here.” He told you.

He didn’t have to tell you twice— you were already running out your front door.

Your legs carried you faster than they ever had as you sprinted towards The Bear.

You wouldn’t be able to calm your anxiety until you saw that Carmy was okay with your own eyes.

It normally took you twenty minutes to get to the restaurant from your apartment, but it only took ten.

You bursted open the front doors, running inside.

You saw Richie, Sydney, and Marcus sitting at a table and talking. Sydney had her head in her hands. The all looked tense— the tension filled the room, making you feel like you were suffocating.

“Back office with Sugar,” Richie told you, already anticipating your question.

You ran past them into the kitchen.

Your eyes landed on scorch marks up the wall and on the floor. You saw a pan full of food that had been burnt to a crisp.

You could imagine how big the flames had been to create marks like that. And you thought about what flames like that could have done to Carmy.

You pushed aside those thoughts and moved towards the office.

Standing in the doorway, you saw Carmy sitting in a chair with his head hanging between his knees. Sugar was there talking to him— her voice was muffled to you as you watched Carmy.

You scanned over his body, checking for any burns or cuts.

You had to be sure that he okay.

He wasn’t responding to anything she was saying. He just stared down at the floor with a vacant expression. You weren’t even sure he was hearing her.

Sugar glanced over at you. She recognized the look of anxiety that you both were currently wearing.

She gently placed her hand on Carmy’s shoulder. “Someone’s here to see you, Carm.” She told him.

He jumped up to his feet when his eyes landed on yours.

You both closed the distance, meeting each other halfway. He clutched onto your body, tightening his grip around your waist.

He felt delicate in your arms— like he was seconds away from breaking and shattering completely.

“Baby, are you okay? I heard about the fire. Did you get hurt?” You asked him quickly.

Sugar walked past, giving you both some privacy, and then closed the door behind her.

You noticed as his shoulders tensed and then started to shake. Was he…?

He was crying.

“I’m so sorry about this morning. I fucked up. Of course I want to live with you. I don’t want you to think that I’m not committed to this, to us. I just started to spiral. You’re my entire world. I knew that without you, I’d have nothing. And that really freaked me out, but I am all in. I love you so much.” He explained.

The emotion in his voice pulled at your heartstrings. “I know, baby. I love you too. I’m so glad you didn’t get hurt.” You said, rubbing his back.

You both stayed like that for a while— not saying a word and just holding each other.

When he stopped shaking in your arms, you brought him over to the couch in the room. He sat down beside you and then tugged you into his lap.

“I was so worried.” You said, caressing his cheek. He leaned into your touch. This morning, he’d been so worried that he pushed you away that he wondered if he’d ever feel your touch again.

His palm pressed against your own. His hand felt rough on your skin. He let his fingers slid through yours, interlacing them.

“I was distracted all morning. I just kept thinking about our fight and how wrong I’d been. I had a panic attack thinking I’d lost you. I just froze up, and I was just watching the pan burn. I couldn’t even move to stop it. I don’t know what would have happened if Richie hadn’t walked in right then.” Carmy recalled, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand as he spoke.

“I meant what I said before. I want to give you more, and I want to live with you. We could find a new apartment with a nice kitchen for me to cook and big windows like the one you’re always talking about.” He said, pressing his lips against the back of your hand.

The more he talked about it, you could see how much Carmy had thought of your future together.

“I didn’t know you thought about our future like that.” You said, honestly. He squeezed your hand. “Of course I do. You’re my favorite person in the world and the prettiest girl in the world. I’m not stupid enough to not know that.” He said.

His words melted your heart, feeling butterflies in your stomach. “I love you so much, Carm.” You leaned in to kiss him.

“We’re gonna close up here for the rest of the day. You want to go back to your apartment and we can start looking online at places?” He mumbled against your lips.

“Yeah, that sounds really good.” You said, kissing him again.

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Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my fics or for a specific character/fandom!!

[ssahotchnerr]

hi! i’ve just come across your account, and i can confidently say that ellie is now my favorite character (i don’t care if she isn’t canon!! HAHA)

i hope it’s alright, but i just wanted to know how you would have treated the whole scratch situation and having to go on witness protection+ellie. maybe how she’d have to be away from grandpa dave, penelope and the rest of the team and how she and their family are processing this change.

anyway, i hope you’re having a great day/night wherever you are and that you keep enjoying writing about hotch and ellie 😊

hi my love!!! thank you so much 🥹 literally at this point she's completely canon to me LOL but omg this is something i've wanted to explore more so much. i'm still piecing ideas together but here's a bit of what i have so far!! i do want to write actual fics once it's more solid:

since scratch ended up being at jack's soccer game and that's when they go into the program, i want to add some more pre-program instances where it shows aaron and the family are being targeted :(

- scratch also shows up at ellie's dance recital. there's a lot of people, the scratch situation has been escalating - this would be approx. right after aaron sees the victim with 'Hotch' scratched into their forehead - he's wayyy more on edge. and so, he thinks he catches a glimpse of scratch within the recital crowd, but he's gone just as fast as he saw him. so with the paranoia, aaron toys with the idea that maybe he just imagined it??? maybe he saw someone who looked similar, and for the rest of the recital - he's on high alert. however, he doesn't see him again so maybe it was his imagination? but regardless and as a safety precaution, he gets a security detail to watch the house, he shows you a picture of scratch so you can identify him if he is hanging around, and tells you to keep an eye out for anyone showing interest in jack, ellie, or even yourself.

and so once aaron sees scratch at jack's game, that's when he's like yes, the family is definitely in danger and action is detrimentally needed. he goes into action immediately - he's coaching the game, and has another parent take over. grabs jack, grabs you and ellie who are watching on the sidelines, gets you all in the car and heads straight to the BAU - calling dave on the way and telling him to meet you all there.

with ellie being so little - i'm thinking of putting her at either 4-5? in terms of age, she obviously has no idea what's going on. jack does, but not her. the conversation you and aaron have with her is EXTREMELY!!!!!!!!! familiar to the one aaron had with jack when he and haley went into protection due to foyet :((((((( - that this is a vacation, and it won't be for very long. in addition, the amount of guilt aaron feels that he has to have this conversation again - how it's his fault: because of him, his family is at risk once again. (this would be suchhh a heartbreaking fic :( ) but at least this time, he doesn't feel as helpless. not the most perfect word, because of course he wishes he could do more, but he's with all of you. but god does he feel awful.

ellie, being oblivious, is fine with it, thrilled even - because what kid doesn't love a vacation??? she does have a ton of questions though, all throughout when they're in hiding - why isn't she at dance? school? why isn't jack at school? soccer? why can't she see grandpa dave and all her aunts and uncles????? you and aaron tread carefully with the answers, telling her soon, but obviously you have no idea when. :(

that's kinda what i have so far??? it's subject to change and i def want to add more, but it's an SUCH interesting concept to consider with ellie in the mix 🥺 and i'm super excited to write it. i also want to write something with aaron being swatted and her witnessing that!!!!

thank you for asking!!!! 🥹🫶🏻 and thank you for loving ellie <333 it makes me so happy she's loved by so many 😭

ps - i would love to hear any thoughts or ideas about this concept if anyone wants to share!!!!!

[denial-permanente]

Hello Mrs Edge and Tom. I don't have an account here so I'm using my husband's. I am the "ebony goddess wife" of KC. You posted his message here a few weeks ago.

I want to echo what he said about your blog being so helpful to me (to both of us really). When he showed me this chastity stuff I was turned off by just about everything I saw and I really did not want to think about my husband as a sissy or abused or anything like that. I have read a lot of your answers to questions and I love how you have made chastity about your husband's devotion and not just some kinky sex thing. That is where I am hoping to bring our marriage. Also I am guessing it must be Tom who picks out the pictures but it really has been nice to see images of regular looking black women (and Asian, Indian, etc) and not images that look like cartoons. They help me feel more comfortable about seeing myself the way my husband sees me.

I did want to comment about the crazy changes that have been happening to me for the past few years. I go from feeling cold to getting hot flashes that make me want to tear off my clothes and not in a good way. And I don't "feel like myself" anymore. I want to be intimate with my husband but sometimes I can't even stand the thought of having sex.

I go from feeling guilty for keeping him locked to thinking that if I feel this bad then maybe he should too! lol I've read the questions from other women in "no penetration" marriages. I had no idea that this was a thing until recently but now I understand why. The few times I have tried are just uncomfortable and don't really do anything for me for some reason.

Sometimes when I feel like an orgasm would make me feel better I do make him worship my pussy. It also helps to keep him interested which helps make me feel less guilty about leaving him locked up all the time. I also remind him that he asked for this but I have to admit that he rarely complains.

I am happy to see that you still get pleasure from PIV and you still allow your husband to get pleasure from intercourse although I'm not sure how much pleasure he gets if he has to wear a strap on lol. But I am seriously wondering if I will ever feel like having sex again - I mean intercourse - with my husband. If you have any advice on getting through this I think it would be helpful to a lot of us! lol

Thank you for following up on your husband's post. I totally understand what you mean by you "don't feel like yourself." My change came a bit earlier than most, and it was several years of hot flashes, night sweats, cold spells, and crazy appetite swings. Nothing felt right, and I started gaining weight. My doctor says that my metabolism slowed way down, I was tired, and the last thing I wanted was my husband bothering me for intimate time. When you are not comfortable in your own skin it's just so hard to relax and enjoy intimacy.

It really did take several years for me to get past the perimenopause and have things start settling down. Yes, my husband was locked up for most of it, not that he really needed to be because sex just was not on the table (or anywhere else 😆) anyway. I don't want to say that he was "locked and forgotten" but honestly he might as well have been. A few times I did offer that he just unlock the cage and take it off, more out of sympathy or pity or something. To his credit he remained caged on his own.

When I finally started feeling better, we did get back to intercourse and foxing. Fortunately I did not get the vaginal pain that so many women get after menopause. However, things were definitely different. My lubrication was very thin, and I would get sore more easily. We went through different lubes (and now we us organic coconut butter from Trader Joes lol). Oh, and I'm a lot more prone to UTIs. I used to think it was the vixskin, but boiling and disinfecting didn't help. My gyno told me that it was a common condition, and she gave me some antibiotics which I take a dose of whenever we have sex.

Now, if you are not enjoying intercourse and your gyno can't make any suggestions, it's okay. You already keep your husband locked, so he has already learned... or is learning... how to manage his own libido and how to turn his energy into pleasing you instead of worrying about his own orgasm. This is why I tell women who message me that they do not need to feel guilty about this change in your sex life. He asked for this... to be locked and for you to take charge. This is one of those things that happen in life that you have no control over, so all you can do is control how you deal with the situation.

I am learning that there are more "no penetration" marriages than I ever would have guessed, and while a lot of them are done out of some kind of kinky game, some of them, like yours are more because Mother Nature was not kind. If this is the way you are leaning, please remember that your husband wants all the best for you. You can still reward him with your hands or by letting him rub himself on you (he must have a favorite place lol), and then lock him back up. Or you can use a vibrator to help take the pressure off of him. If you have read some of the other women's stories that have written in, some men find the idea of being denied penetration to be a turn on.

Finally, please keep an open mind. You may come out of this once again being able to enjoy intercourse, at least, when you start feeling somewhat normal... or rather, when all these things that are happening start settling down. And there are a lot of resources and articles for you to check online. You may not feel better about it but at least you'll know that you are not alone. Best of luck hon and let me know how you're doing.

[croquettish]

Hi!! I’m a big fan of your meta and really appreciate your contributions to the fandom. especially your post on sexuality in medieval Bohemia, which I found sooo fascinating and well done.

I was wondering if you’ve ever written about medieval noble marriages and how that arrangement might affect Hansry. There’s a lot of discussion (and fanfic lol) about whether it would have any real impact on their relationship, or if it would just be seen as a political necessity with no hard feelings. Henry comes across as fairly nonchalant about it by the end - especially compared to Hans, who seems more conflicted. And it also makes me wonder: how would Jitka feel about all this?

Given how amazing you are with historical context AND Henry and Hans character insight, I’d love to hear your take on how you think things might play out for them post-canon

This is so kind, thank you so much 😭

Naturally this sent me down a research spiral. I haven't written about medieval noble marriages before, but I do know more than the average bear about it. (You will learn more than you bargained for here; this is a threat and I apologize in advance.)

The short answer is that marriage among the nobility was pretty much never about love. I'm using a qualifier here even though I really want to just say never. But idk, maybe there were some nobles who got just insanely lucky and happened to fall in love with a viable match that their parents also approved of. Usually, like 99% of the time, it was a purely contractual thing. The purpose of marriage was the consolidation of assets or land, the joining of two houses for the purposes of a treaty or an alliance, etc. For that, they rarely needed to meet before the wedding to begin with.

The general hope was that the two parties involved would fall in love after the wedding, but that's more of an ideal outcome. People were fully aware of the fact that this wasn't realistic, and there wasn't some weighty expectation for either party to make that happen. All that's really expected is for them to produce at least one heir that survives into adulthood. That didn't always happen, but you know.

We have a few examples* that we can turn to here. Edward II and Piers Gaveston were almost certainly involved with each other, and even then, both of them had wives and produced children. Richard the Lionheart and King Philip II likewise were as close as Hansry, said to have eaten from the same plate "... and that their beds did not separate them." (Hilariously, one historian went on record that poor people shared beds all the time and therefore this meant that the two weren't gay. Because royals are famously very poor and need to share beds for warmth.) Richard didn't have any children with his wife, though he was said to father an illegitimate child.

Philip, on the other hand, is a very interesting case. He first married Isabelle of Hainaut and then decided four years later to try and divorce her on account of consanguinity. At the time she was fourteen and it's "not at all clear that the marriage had been consummated by then." The request for a divorce was denied, and five years later she died in childbirth. This left him with one very sickly three year old son, which meant that he needed to produce another heir who would live to adulthood. He was set to be married to Princess Ingeborg of Denmark, who was said to be "beautiful, holy, and of good morals" (here, her dowry was cash instead of land, making this less politically savvy of a match). I make mention of her character specifically because the day after the wedding Philip decided he didn't want to be married to her anymore, and supposedly "began violently to abhor, tremble, and pale at her sight." Supposedly he entered the marriage bed and then promptly left again, insisting that he was unable to consummate the marriage (Ingeborg said differently). He then got the French church council together to request a divorce on account of her supposedly being related to his first wife. Ingeborg, tragically, had no idea that this would happen and effectively broke down sobbing when an interpreter gave her the news. After Philip married someone else and had kids with her, declared that that marriage was null and void because he was still married to Ingeborg, and after his wife died he inevitably had to take Ingeborg back.

This is quite a bit later than 15th c, but another fascinating example is Frederick the Great, who almost certainly was queer and who did not want to get married to the point that he threatened suicide and explained to his sister that there could be neither love nor friendship between them. Despite this, he was forced to marry, and he proceeded to put her in another palace far away from him and forbade her from visiting him. They didn't have kids and he never displayed any affection, though he did occasionally deign to visit her on her birthday.

What does this mean for Hansry? As ever, the answer is "it depends." We know nothing about Jitka and certainly don't know her character. We can assume that she wouldn't necessarily expect there to be love in her marriage, but it would almost certainly be the hope. If he does what's expected of him and produces an heir, there isn't a whole lot that anyone could say against him unless his relationship with Henry was discovered. It definitely is something that would only happen out of political necessity, but that doesn't always mean that we can account for human emotion to not get in the way. Realism dictates that there would be no love, but perhaps not to the extent that people like Frederick or Philip shunned their wives. For fic writers, it will be entirely up to them to decide how Jitka might respond, but in terms of what things were like at the time, so long as an heir was produced, that is really the only expectation that a marriage would carry with it.

*This is a misnomer. We can't really impose modern sexualities on people of the past and we tragically can't ask their opinions on the matter, so everything I'm saying here is purely reasonable speculation, which is all a historian can really ask for.

Source:

Karras, Ruth Mazo. Unmarriages: Women, Men, and Sexual Unions in the Middle Ages. University of Pennsylvania Press, 2014.

[h0estar]

What do u think is the difference between the Apothecary diaries world and our current world's reality? Is the modern world we live in now, capitalistic as a primary? What do you think Jinshi and Maomao's position would be in our world? I mean regarding on their circumstances— I have a scenario like Tamaki and Haruhi from Ouran Host Club. But still, our world is more complex and diverse in technology fields than Ouran Host club world. And given the revolution of artificial intelligence, coming next 5 years would be totally different.

okay, first of all, very interesting question. second of all, my brain isn't built for something like this but i will try to answer as best as i can. sorry if i don't answer it as well as you expect me to but i'll try!

i'm going to point out the obvious here and say our modern reality (esp for women) isn't as harsh as it is in the apothecary diaries' world. for one, women in their time had practically zero rights and respect (though that is still very much happening today in some places). however, at least most women irl have access to education, voting rights, vast career options, free will and speech, and generally just be able to live their life independently without relying on men. at least in our world, women have laws protecting them against violence and sexual acts, and it's no longer a requirement to marry, bear children, and live for your husband; that's just a choice out of many—something the average woman in TAD universe could never dream of experiencing.

i'd say capitalism is one thing both this fictional story and our current reality have in common. just like irl, characters (mostly commoners) in TAD are scraping by to make profit: maomao with her apothecary shop, granny with the verdigris house, quack's family with their paper business, gyokuen with his family and the WC, and we've got mentions of merchants a lot in the story. there's also a moment in the manga i remember where maomao was carting books to the palace and she planned to overcharge Jinshi (wringing him out for his money to gain extra profit. go maomao!), too bad suiren caught her lol. anyway, yeah, like IRL the commoners are doing what they can to survive, while the important and rich ones (the royalty and ministers) cozy up in the court and palace, completely indifferent to the state of small villages and townsfolk outside (the farming villages affected by taxes, women in the red light district, kidnappings, slavery, etc).

as for jinshi and maomao's positions in our world, hmm, this is purely imagination but if we follow their ages (maomao at 20 and jinshi at 21), that'd make them college students. maomao would definitely be a pharmacy student and might even go to medical school. she'd also own a flower shop 100%, or at least a botanical shop. jinshi would probably be studying economics, anything business-related, or international relations. that's as far as my imagination will take me.

and if they're going to be like tamaki x haruhi in this little modern world, then maomao might accidentally ruin one of jinshi's projects (in the name of science!) and she'd have to pay him back by working for him (idk how; maybe by being his personal medic or offering him tips on how to make business out of medicines lol). or maybe jinshi just might stumble in maomao's little flower shop by chance, and find her studying, completely disinterested in him (despite his popularity), and this throws him off, lol. either way, i'm fairly certain they'll still find each other in this world, and in many worlds.

the two of them would also be fascinated by technology (both their hypothetical degrees often heavily rely on it), but they would probably reject the notion of using AI in extremely simple, practical, or professional tasks. however, jinshi has a progressive mindset and maomao just goes with the flow. they might accept this technological advancement (as part of the world)—they wouldn't try to fight it—but they also wouldn't use it as often.

thanks for this question lol. sorry i took so long to respond, i haven't been on tumblr for 2 days oops.

[shannonsketches]

How do you think Vegeta and Bulma are about declaring their love for one another? There's a consensus that Vegeta doesn’t really do it, and anime has extra dialogue at the end of the Buu saga where Bulma practically screams it to him, but to be honest she doesn't strike me as someone to drop the L-bomb casually. What do you think?

I think I talked about some of my headcanons here and I'll repost my tags from that post, which I think answer this particular question better

I constantly think about Toriyama saying that Vegeta got his “bargain sale” line from watching tv and I choose to believe he's been slowly but surely tuning in to the movies and shows that Bulma watches. I hc that he's gathered from media that “I love you” on Earth is both a very special statement and also a completely frivolous one, and I'm sure Bulma says it a lot more than Vegeta and it's confusing that she says it to him and also to the keys she thought she lost and also to the cat and also to her bed when she's had a long day. But also her casual use of it probably helped him feel okay saying it back to her every now and again although I hc she's told him he doesn't have to say it back because he tells her all the time with the things he does for her and Trunks. idk I just love the idea that they're cozy and comfortable and not very conventional, which is the other thing I hc their relationship has in common with Goku and Chichi even though they look very different on the surface

tldr Generally I do think Bulma does use "love" much more frequently, but not very often in the intimate romantic way.

It's been a while since I've watched the anime, but Bulma thinking he's dead and then seeing him again does strike me as something that would make her giddy-shriek affection at him, just like finding out he survived the battle with Zamasu overwhelmed her so much she all but tackled him in front of god and everybody.

I don't think it's something she does a lot, because he's clearly not comfortable with PDA at either point in the series and she seems to respect that as a boundary he has, which I like a lot. But I also don't think it's necessarily out of character for her to get overjoyed and forget herself when she's relieved of that level of emotional stress.

I think it's glossed over in a lot that Vegeta and Bulma are both very fragile-hearted, Bulma's armor is just a lot more transparent than Vegeta's. Her heart's on display but she still keeps it behind the museum glass, ykwim? She's eager to give it out when she's young but is also very loudly sensitive to rejection throughout the series, and I imagine that after fifteen years with Yamcha who is highly romantic but not particularly sensitive to her needs (which she does not communicate well anyway), with Vegeta she probably did have to prepare herself for the fact that she could be saying "I love you" to a man who might never, ever say it back to her.

I hc that it took her a long time to say it seriously (although I wouldn't put it past her to use the friendly 'I love you's early on because 1) it was probably funny to watch him react to that and 2) he probably has super helpful suggestions for her when she gets stuck on stuff (like he did getting Krillin back to Earth) and I don't imagine she's above dropping a casual 'omg i love you' without really thinking about it -- would not put it past her to unthinkingly say it during sex either and I wouldn't doubt that it's made things awkward for them both more than once bUT I DIGRESS),

because even though Vegeta chose to be a part of their lives, he's quite literally from another world, and it was probably a lot of adjusting and learning and practice understanding each other before she was comfortable offering up her heart to a guy who's level of interest in that part of her -- or anyone -- was a hard thing to gauge.

I do love to think that by the time he does say it back it isn't some grand gesture, it's just kind of a Thing that falls out of his mouth without thinking, just from being around someone who can use it that way and still be okay. I like to think by then it's nice to hear, but she's learned that he actually says it all the time, he just does it in matters of pragmatic service and guardianship. Words are cheap when you're raised by liars, so he loves her by keeping her safe and making life a little easier for her wherever he can.

(every excuse to post my favorite manga bumper art)

TLDR FOR REAL THIS TIME Even if she's not using Love often, she's definitely more verbal than he is and their dynamic for me is basically just this post, the three taps thing, you know the thing.

[mydzyae]

anyone can heal.

yes, im serious and you can too !

But how do i know this ?

Because the 2024 me wouldn't believe the 2025 me could be happy and free.

Actually, I didn't do anything to change the situation by myself, things moved by themselves without me realizing it. I didn't do anything to change my unhappiness because I simply thought that this unhappiness didn't exist. Which is sad because, this period of my life could have brought me a lot of things if I had tried to get out of this feeling.

A feeling that I cannot describe, you just have to live it and understand, I wasn't sad, I wasn't happy, I was just lost. I accepted certain situations thinking that it was all normal, especially in school, but I was wrong. At that time I wasn't sure of my worth, but now I know.

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.”

Now, how can you heal ?

The answer is basic, and you've probably heard it everywhere, but it's simply because it's right !

— Surround yourself with people who help you achieve your goals, who admire you, love you, and inspire you.

— Find new hobbies, new activities that could help you rediscover creativity and help you acquire new knowledge about the world around you.

— Take time for yourself, take a bath, clean your room, watch a tv show that brings you comfort, do a skincare routine, starts journaling and do things that you really appreciate !

— Starts discovering new places, go for a walk without your phone and appreciate the nature arround you !

Of course, no one heals in the blink of an eye. It will take time, but it's all temporary. Work on yourself, your emotions, your interests, and above all, don't let yourself be influenced by others ! Be yourself, and don't let anyone bring you down.

If I did it, you can too! That was a long journey for me and it's still not over, but I try to work on myself everyday to find myself again. To anyone reading this, I hope you find the happiness you deserve. To finish with positivity, here are some quotes about healing.

"Awareness is the first step in healing."

- Dean Ornish

“There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome. Let’s grieve and hope, and fight together.”

- Marie White

"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love."

- Hubert H. Humphrey

— @mydzyae don't copy or repost.

[lunanightshade8]

Can we stop saying Jay should have left everything in Marble Hornets and it would have fixed everything? I’ve thought about it a lot and heard so many people say he actively sabotaged everything by not letting it go and should have dropped it.

Um…

He tried.

TWICE.

Spoilers are ahead.

Now, I come from the camp of “Alex is the main antagonist and not the major bad guy under the Operator’s manipulation and is what fully broken in Operator sickness looks like” camp. I genuinely think a lot of blame isn’t possible to be shifted on one person, though I’ll get into that later.

Now, imagine if your old college friend had started making a film and you find those odd tapes. Wouldn’t you start digging? Yeah, he’s slowly becoming obsessed, but that’s more on the faceless monster following them constantly. Jay’s reaction is a genuinely sane one of “wait, there’s something here? I need to uncover what’s going on.”

As stated previously, he did attempt to quit. In Entry 23, he says straight up he’s not interested in finding answers anymore. After the house, we see him say that he’s done after his camera died, came face to face with the Operator, and a whole myriad of torment, missing chunks of memory, and generally beginning to question his sanity.

Doesn’t sound like direct confirmation he quit? Fine, there’s also the people who after the series ended didn’t know he had a twitter account. I couldn’t find the original tweet, but I found a reupload of it from 2021. The original was posted on February 3, 2010.

That statement is saying he deliberately tried quitting. While it partially does hurt my point due to stating he felt functionless and he posted two more times, the important thing to note is that 24 is not camera footage from a tape, but from him doing a disappearing act. I think he considered getting back in, and sort of did, though not in the same way.

Entry 25 came after ######, which would concern a heck of a lot of people. Remember, Marble Hornets used to be a real time thing and is Unfiction. The audience could interact and see what was going on. If something like that was posted to your socials, you’d want to hop back in to explain on YouTube “I’m not dead, I’m okay, I’m checking into different hotels, but my apartment did burn down.” to the people who follow you, because Jay did have a following.

And finally, the second attempt was after realizing “my life is in danger.” He chose to try to quit after this, and he stated as such in Entry 26.

He was actually done, again. He would have prioritised his mental health and safety over answers… had it not been for the text.

Seriously, what are you supposed to do in this situation? Let it go? Then the package arrives, shows Alex in genuine danger, and mentions he may be a while, if ever.

Heck, he didn’t post until November of 2010 because of his memory being wiped! I genuinely believe if his memory wasn’t compromised, he’d have stayed undercover.

You can get on Jay for so many things like his lack of empathy and tendencies to stalk people or blackmail to get what he wants. He posted a woman having a mental breakdown, and while it’s understandable why he filmed, he still posted people being held at gunpoint. I will criticise him for that all day long. Those parts of his personality are not great, but criticise THAT. Marble Hornets is a Shakespearian tragedy, and I mean that.

No one person has the full blame. Tim couldn’t help that he received The Operator first or that it came to the set. If he hadn’t brought it, then Brian would have been the source and it’d be impossible to track.

Alex is the victim who didn’t get help, and he’s the one who murdered his fiancé and everyone involved, but Jay also fell prey to Operator Sickness, and he tried to kill Tim, yet I don’t see many people talk about it.

Jay is the person who started it, but he tried to end it TWICE. I can’t overstate that he did try leaving and ALEX was the one who dragged him back in.

No one is solely responsible for Marble Hornets, and we should stop trying to pretend that it’s on one person. If you want to blame someone, blame the faceless cryptid who tormented a child and drove everyone who we want to shirk the blame onto into insanity.