#i think this is probably one of the most personal posts ive made? eh. idk it might resonate w someone

[mossy-rot]

just had a very intense moment of trans joy bc i just realized like. This week im gonna go to work with short hair wearing my binder and im gonna walk in and my coworkers are gonna say "hey lucien" and i'll put on my trans flag pin and my he/they pin and im gonna introduce myself as lucien and holy shit. man. this is real. i can do things like this. will it always be pleasant? no, i still get misgendered by customers constantly. will I be able to go home like this? no, i'll have to change out of my binder as soon as i get home and hide my pins before i even start my car. but i get to go out and wear them in the first place. people still call me by my name despite knowing my deadname. people call me they instead of she when they don't know my pronouns. i have queer coworkers. I feel safe. the other shoe will drop eventually, but until then, i'm going to bask in what i have

[spaceagebachelorstan]

rating rtc ship names and giving my opinions on them because i can and im bored, except i just make some up and have still probably missed out most of the names. ten points to whoever guesses which ones i made up tho

quick note that my opinions of the ship will not affect my ratings of the ship name because that would be boring

mischa x talia

15/10 amazing canon for a reason talia is real in my eyes i dont accept any other option she is. real they are in love

i haven't actually seen any ship names for this one

mischa x noel

50/10 amazing showstopping they are so everything ever i love them so much they are. life itself

nischa - 7/10 - gets the job done, simple, a bit boring though, bonus points for the isch sound

passionfruit - 100/10 - its cute, its fun, it makes sense, good ship name and my personal favourite

bad romance - 9/10 - funny, it has some logic behind it, easily identifiable, not very common though

frenchrap - 6/10 - idk the syllables dont flow imo, points for how easily recognisable it is

mischa x talia and mischa x noel

17372737288/10 i am a firm believer in this ship noel talia besties real mischa has two hands im not even doing poly ships in this post and yet i still put this in because i love it so much noel x mischa x talia real

i also havent seen any ship names for this one

mischa x ricky

8/10 solid ship, its cute, its good, i quite like it. i dont ship it a lot but its nice, i'd read a fic about it and have read one fic about it in the past (there are actually criminally few fics of this ship). its definitely grown on me tbh

passionspace - 8/10 - a lot of syllables but they flow so im fine with that, rolls off my tongue nicely

spacerap - 8/10 - i like this one, its fun, its nice, its recognisable, nothing astounding but its good

spaceaccent - 7/10 - wordy, but its not bad. its nicely shaped if any of you get what i mean but that might just be me

shootingstar - 7.5/10 - i like ship names that are already established phrases, so this one gets points for that. needs a bit of thought but i like the alliteration

noel x ricky

8.5/10 its sweet, ive read a few fics on it and seen a few headcanons abt it, and i like it, its cute. they r so <3

starrypoet - 10000/10 - THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIP NAME IVE EVER HEARD OH MY GODDDD its so cute its everything my lord this ship name makes me so happy

frenchspace - 6/10 - eh. not much to it, a bit bland imo. points for recognisability

tragicspace - 9/10 - lovely, i like this one. it flows well in my brain

spacehooker - 8/10 - funny, to the point, makes sense. the only thing is it catches me off guard every time i think of the phrase spacehooker

penny/jane x ricky

10/10 literally perfect they are everything ever i love them so so canon they are so jajskskdk /pos

spacedolls - 100/10 - cute, fun, universally recognised, love itself

luckystar - 8/10 - cute, needs a bit of thinking but it makes sense once you figure it out, idk i just think its cute, minus points bcs it isnt spacedolls and spacedolls is so ingrained in my brain i see it as THE ship name

ive seen very few ship names bcs spacedolls is so universally beloved

ricky x ocean

1/10! i find it hard to ship ocean with men, but even if i look outside of that i still dont ship it tbh.

starstudent - 9/10 - good name, makes sense, its an already established word/phrase which i like in a ship name

gingercat - 7/10 - a little uninspired but wtv its alright.

seaspace - 6/10 - flows nicely, alliteration, ship can be worked out through context, bit ehhhh tho

mischa x ocean

6/10 once again i don't really ship ocean with men, but i do see the appeal tbh, pretty cute. very few ship names though

topcomment - 9/10 - this is cute, this is fun, it makes me smile when i see this ship name

oscha - 7/10 - it actually flows really well but i can only think of osha the health violations thing

mischa x constance

5/10 i have seen exactly one fic of this, it was pretty cute ngl. i dont think its finished yet tho. i am completely neutral on this ship. once again ive seen very few ship names

candyrapper - 10326262/10 - THIS IS SO CUTE OMG i love it sm. genuinely its so shhdhdhd /pos

sugarrap - 8/10 - pretty cute, i just think i like the word sugar tbh, double r gets it more points

coffeeshot - 6/10 - sounds okay but its too close to coffeeshop imo

ocean x constance

9/10 yes yes they are so yes i love them (post development). they are so cute i love them

blackrose - 10/10 - its cute its recognisable everybody gets what this is its so <3

saltwatertaffy - 7/10 - points for creativity but it has too many t's which gives it too many pauses

sweet n salty - 6/10 - fun but its more of a sentence and that puts me off

ocean x penny/jane

8/10 very cute i quite like this one ^^

gingersnaps - 7/10 - its reallt really cute but i havent been able to clock why snaps is there. like yeah janes neck but its not clicking in my brain so minus points

gingerdolls - 7/10 - cute, a little pop-y (idk how to explain it its got the. sounds) but nice

perfectdolls - 8/10 - pretty cute, too many constant sounds though

penny/jane x constance

7/10 its cute, i like it, very nice. ngl i just like the idea of development from constance being freaked out by her to accepting her and them falling in love, and i think they could bond over being unnoticed

sugardolls - 9/10 - cute, rolls off my tongue nicely, makes me feel all fuzzy

teaparty - 8/10 - cute! i didnt get this one at first tbh but then i saw an explanation and now i love this ship name

wooden dolls - 6/10 - had to have this one explained as well, don't really like it that much tbh

penny/jane x mischa

4/10 i don't ship this bcs i see them as siblings tbh, but other than that there isnt anything wrong with the ship

nestingdolls - 10/10 - this is the best one its cute its superior you cannot convince me otherwise

rapdolls - 7/10 - got a nice pop but the words feel a little disjointed imo

passiondolls - 7.5/10 - a lot of syllables but its pretty balanced overall

oddcomment - 7/10 - idk i think this one is nice

karnak x virgil

???/10 funny as a meme, ngl the roleplay accts have made me not hate this, established relationship i can deal but i dont think id read a fic on it. sidenotes rp accts my beloved if any of you are reading this u r great <3

electricity - 10/10 - the only ship name ive seen for this, funny, to the point, fits the ship, it does its job and there isnt any need for anything else

edit: I FORGOT RICKY X CONSTANCE ENTIRELY I AM SO SORRY

ricky x constance

4/10 i hold no opinions of this ship. i’ve seen nobody ship it tbh. i only remembered this one bcs i saw a comment about it somewhere and realised i had not, in fact, included them in this post. once again i am so sorry

sugarspace - 8.5/10 - its got alliteration, its got a nice balance, it has the word sugar in it. good name. i like it

catcafe - 7/10 - cute, i like it, but minus points because i don't like the fe sound.

sweetspace - 8/10 - similar to sugarspace, but half a point less bcs i prefer the word sugar

i think that's all of them, tell me if i missed any though (not including humanised cyclone ships)

edit: it appears i've missed some but i dont know which ships they're for. some of them i can guess but others im unsure of so here. if i've missed any more feel free to tell me and i'll add them to the bonus section

bonus section:

retroraps - 8/10 - nice alliteration, nice sounds, i like the singular t. it really brings this ship name together

sweetpassion - 9/10 - this one is good bcs it makes sense and its got two s sounds

perfectpassion - 8/10 - double p makes it pop /pos, the s and the emphasised e and the double p is >>

ragedolls - 9/10 - balanced, good sounds, recognisable. solid ship name

[yellowistheraddest]

sending you my hcs that are varying degrees of quality but. eh. it's my media perception so i have no shame in them

1. obviously asd/autistic miles because that is the truest thing ever? i don't think it's something he discovers as an adult, more like he got diagnosed before dl-6

2. maya to me is a girl that wears leg hair with pride. i'm sorry i can't imagine her in any other way and i picture her chubbier than capcom made her just bc she deserves that powerful look

3. miles edgeworth is a quiet rebel to me. this hc started when i saw a post about how putting your hands in trousers pockets isn't proper etiquette and miles does it anyway so... i just think he does these small things to feel mischievous and like his own person, maybe he did them more in his youth. and i also think the steel samurai and watching it also feels like rebellion to him and gives him a certain thrill? idk if this makes sense honestly

4. i think i made fanart of this one before but i basically hc that the short animations we see before a case (esp the ones in aa1 revealing the culprit) are phoenix's dreams that he barely remembers but they guide him like an intuitive sense. because yk how in aa2 the animation we see is an actual nightmare of his... and he definitely has some spiritual ties there somewhere.. and in aa4 he deadass predicts the future ominously to apollo sometimes... and he goes through spirit medium training with maya bc she makes him.....it makes sense

5. pearly's aged-up design is way different in my eyes. like i'm sorry but she should rebel so much after the ways she was raised, let her have the most unfortunate haircut in the world and funky makeup and cool clothes

6. yeah that's it im not going to embarrass myself further 👍

damn, let me get my reading glasses (i don't have reading glasses)

1. miles is the final form in the evolution line of the autism creature, so agreed. although i think gregory is not around enough/too old fashion to notice it, and von karma is a dick and would purposefully avoid getting him diagnosed; i think he got diagnosed after moving out. overall a strong 9.5 out of 10

2. i can definitely see her with body hair, but idk about the body fat because she has to stand under waterfalls for days so the training probably requires a restrain from food (kinda how monks fast) but im not in opposition of her being chubbier. 7 out of 10, capcom give us more details about the training plsss

3. lets just say ive been planning to draw something related to this idea... so 10 out of 10, hes shy and unsure about it but hes still a rebel at heart.

4. i think he just smokes weed when he reads case files and we just get to trip with him (yes this chronologically doesn't make sense but idc). Brother is the plainest cringefail guy - hes the last person anyone should give magic powers to, theres like 7 billion people who'd be better off with them. this one is a 6 put of 10, im not big into magical powers.

5. i hate pearl. well more like i hate children and pearl is a child, but they failed with her so bad the design... 9 out of 10.

pearl, send me a dm and well go clothes shopping and get you a haircut so it actually looks like youve actually been affected by 7 years of no longer dealing with your bitch of a mom

6. 0 out of 10, be shameless its the internet noone knows who you are. just don't be a weirdo!

[the-flying-urayuli]

i made a weird post about the little bits in inside that was not put together a while ago so im doing it again out of boredom for the songs

yeah this is not at all put together so this may not be super accurate

content: a great opening song, definetly brings you into the feel of the special. for some reason i get “forced to work into a content factory despite your own issues and cant keep up with it” but eh

comedy: pretty obvious, a satirical song about people praising themselves for doing nothing etc etc with some other parts in it. there is definetly more about this song but i dont know them.

facetime with my mum: tbh i often skip this song? but it could possibly be about people praising themselves for talking and loving there parents but never actually paying attention, helping them or being nice.

how the world works: also obvious, about the corporate corruption and manipulation. also possibly noteable. its framed as a sort of kids puppet show, so possibly could also be refferencing all that corporate almost propaganda to convice children just to buy. this has been referenced a couple times in the special? but this is the first one.

white womans instagram: ive seen plenty of great interpretations of this song and this isnt my own but its that this girl is clearly dealing with a lot of her own problems, i.e her mums death, but she keeps faking herself to be the most perfect person on the internet or something like that. but thats nice

unpaid intern: i believe bo explained this himself-

bezoes 1: i used to love this song but it being used on tiktok so much sorta just made me sick of it. not much to say about this song, kinda obvious and straightfoward its about jeffery bezoes’  horrific acts for his own gain

sexting: not much to say here, if anyone has a good analysis of this song please give it to me

look whos inside again: fucking bop, has to be one of my favourites. also quite straightfoward. bo talks about how as a child he was just a kid stuck in his room, doing what he liked and he actually liked doing it, but now its just a 

problematic: could be a couple things, either bo talking about his own problematic past and finally adressing it and coming to terms with it, which is probably it. it could also could be like unpaid intern and it could be a satire on glowup pop songs. instead of talking about how amazing you are and denying any past its facing those things directly and being straightfoward with your emotions? something like that

30: not much to say, about the terrifying feeling of growing older and scared of growing irrelevant. something along those lines

dont wanna know: this song on the omnichord is my ringtone. like content its for right after the intermission and its bo wanting know more about what you think of the show and asking questions to the audience but not wanting to know.

shit: a groovy song about depression

all time low: about a panic attack, is this the shortest song on the album?

welcome to the internet: about the internet and all of just the shit thats on here. possibly ties in to bo’s opinion on not thinking the internet should be free to everyone and as someone who literally never gets of the internet i have to agree. but yeah its a song about how the internet has so many different things right next to each other that anyone can access, and how so many different groups can manipulate it. such as corporations, scams, cyberbulliers, pedos, propaganda and misinformation spreaders etc etc

bezoes 2: pretty quick song, probably more ties into bo just not wanting to stop the special. this song is quite quick, lacks a lot of what other inside songs have and is just a redo of another existing song, which isnt in any other existing song on the album. so possibly its bo slowly getting sloppier with the songs just wanting to keep it going and never finish and no longer worries about things that the rest of the special had? idk

that funny feeling: thank you reddit for telling me what the funny feeling actually is and now that i know like- holy shit this song is amazing and always makes me sad. for other dumbasses like me, this song is about that feeling of we have the materials to improve the world but we just dont, through lazziness and people who dont do anything just cause it doesnt affect them. its that feeling of sitting there, knowing that you want to help save the enviroment but just 15 minutes later you know you wont do anything.

all eyes on me: i honestly dont know? i have plenty of ideas but i sure dont remember them rn and they arent that good, same thing with the ending of the special. but like god this song is an experience

goodbye: this has to be one of my top songs of this special. however i dont have many theories on it? or at least that i can think of rn

any day now: just the outro song, however i have seen some people it has a double meaning of both talking about the credits ending or the lockdown

[pale-cheezit]

Can you answer every 5th question from your 216-question ask post? Thanks!

Girl you're killin me lol. I'm bored though so thanks for giving me something to do!! I know I'm really late posting this but oh well. Thanks for the ask :)

5) Book/series I reread?

My favorite author is Tana French and I've reread her books a few times. I've reread the book "The Shack" by William P. Young a few times as well. I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting right now.

10) The word that I use all the time to describe something great?

Probably fuck. As in, "that's fucking great" or "this is fucking awesome" or something like that lol

15) Last song I listened to?

Some new Five Finger Death Punch song that was on the radio

20) Favorite video games?

Probably New Super Mario Bros

25) Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?

Ooof... I can't think of any off the top of my head. I have some actors that I like that make me go "oh theyre in this movie, it might be good" but I don't think I ever really watch anything just because of a certain actor.

30) Eye color?

Blueish/greenish. Changes colors sometimes depending on what I'm wearing.

35) Am I excited about anything?

Not really.

40) What do I think about most?

I swing wildly between thinking about insignificant nonsense and everything I'm worried/anxious about (my very uncertain future and what to do with myself and mental health shit I'm going through) and I think about my loved ones a lot too!

45) Last film I watched?

The Hunchback of Notre Dame lol

50) How do I destress?

I'm pretty good at pushing things out of my mind when I want to or need to (a blessing and a curse) Also smoke weed. Idk, feels like I'm always stressed about something in the back of my mind.

55) Play any sports?

I don't anymore but I played volleyball for almost 10 years of my life. Good times. I miss those days.

60) Pet peeve?

People that put masks on their kids.

65) What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?

Friskies world from the cat food commercial of course

70) Can I sing?

I think I can sing ok. I'm not amazing but also not horrible.

75) Where do I want to live?

Away from people and traffic!!! I hate how close together the houses are in the suburbs. But I don't want to be so far in the middle of nowhere that I have to drive hours to get groceries. Idk, maybe I wouldn't mind that after awhile, I'd probably get used to it. I just want my own land and to be able to walk out the back door and have my own personal shooting range on my property.

80) Can I drive?

Yeah. Can't drive stick though. I should learn.

85) Favorite genre of music?

Rock

90) Favorite sporty activity?

Uhhh like walking or hiking I guess. Baseball definitely.

95) How tall am I?

5'7"

100) Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?

I have NO friends lol

105) Last person I texted?

My mom

110) Do I like selfies?

Eh sort of. If I'm feeling good about myself, I might take a few but that's rare for me these days. I like to take pictures of much more interesting things instead! Selfies are boring!

115) Favorite number?

8 I guess

120) Am I much of a daredevil?

Depends on the situation and the mood I'm in. I can be. We all got a little daredevil in us if we drink enough lol

125) The Beatles or Elvis?

Elvis

130) Favorite piece of advice?

Hmm....Anything Jordan Peterson says is usually great advice lol. But I guess simple things like be yourself, enjoy the small things in life, never miss a good chance to shut up, others can inspire and support you- but only you can save yourself, assume you know nothing, listen to your elders cause they know a thing or two about life (SOMETIMES)

135) Do I like gossip?

Eh not really. It depends. I know I'm guilty of it because that's all women be doin but you can definitely cross a line with that stuff and some people have issues with that and that shit can be annoying. it's definitely something I try not to do too much because I wouldn't want others to gossip about me behind my back

140) Do I believe people are capable of change?

I'd like to think so. I mean, I think its not ALWAYS the case. There's definitely people that wont or cant change but there's also plenty of people that are willing to put in the work and have changed themselves and their lives.

145) In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family?

Bitch nobody could play me or my family better than me or my family

150) What is the best decision I have made in life so far?

I honestly don't know. I thought of a few different things and realized none of them were really decisions I 100% made for myself /: I've had a life so far that's been filled with other people making decisions for me. Kind of one of my problems I gotta work on. I guess I would say choosing to finally leave the shitty relationship I was in but he kind of left me in the end so it wasn't completely my decision. There's probably a bunch of small decisions I've made in the past that turned out great for me that I'm just forgetting right now.

155) Who is the most intelligent person I know?

I used to think my brother was because he was a genius child but then I grew up and realized there's a lot of different ways to be intelligent. I was gonna say Jordan Peterson but I dont actually know him lol. It's a hard question for me because I truly believe people are intelligent in so many different ways and Ive met many people that are smart in some ways but dumb in others. I guess my Dad would make the list if I had to pick someone.

160) What color mostly dominates my wardrobe?

BLUE

165) Do I believe in fate?

I think so. I think we can change our fate though too.

170) One of my favorite quotes?

"those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."- Ben Franklin

"unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality"- Emily Dickinson

I have a TON of favorite quotes, I could take up pages lol. Those are just the ones I thought of off the top of my head.

175) Do I dream?

Yes, every single time I sleep. Even when I take a nap. I'm always dreaming.

180) Do I like shopping?

It depends on my mood and what I'm shopping for. Sometimes I'm in the mood to shop and I have fun with it but other times I'm not feeling it at all. I don't like spending money, it makes me feel guilty.

185) If I could master one skill, what would I choose?

Probably being an excellent shot. As skilled as Annie Oakley- if that's even possible haha

190) If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?

60s or 70s. Maybe the 20s.

195) Would I ever want to encounter aliens?

Fuck no. Definitely wouldnt be like some sci-fi movie. It'd be fucking terrifying.

200) Dragons or wizards?

Neither. Never been into either of those things. I also never got what the big deal about dragons is

205) Do I like my handwriting?

Yeah I suppose. Its very inconsistent. It goes from messy to neat to somewhere in between all in one page. Just like me lol

210) What is on my bucket list?

Travel. See the world. I dont have anything super specific but I definitely wish I could see all this world has to offer.

215) What is the weirdest talent I have?

I have no idea. I have no talent that I can think of. I'm sure there's gotta be something but I have no clue right now.

[acaciapines]

tagged by @mattieandmatter! thank youuu <3

1. why did you choose your url?

i picked it when i was super into the transcendence au and acacia was my favorite triplet. now i keep it ‘cause i like the name acacia and it works as a url and i dont see any reason to change it, except on those random days where i feel guilty for stealing someones oc. but like. acacia is a tau oc at this point and if people ask who she is i explain, so like. eh. its fine.

2. any sideblogs?

no. everything i like goes on one blog. i dont really post enough to need a separate blog, and i have a tag system for me to go through and find posts so. no need for a sideblog!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

way way too long. like 7 years i think?

4. do you have a queue tag?

i dont even use the queue. posts are reblogged and made as i feel like it.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i think a friend of mine had a tumblr and told me to join so i did, but now i havent talked to that person in years and she doesnt even use tumblr anymore, so.

6. why did you choose your icon?

its a margay, and they’re my settled form! but literally neither of my daemons take margay form so at this point it’s basically just my fursona.

7. why did you choose your header?

no idea. when i joined i was super into gravity falls and i think that was just a picture that fit okay as a header, and i dont feel like changing it.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

this one back from the cipherhunt days.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i dont know. i think somewhere between 6 or 8? if people wanna talk to me its not like we need to be mutuals, i dont follow many people.

10. how many followers do you have?

222. a nice even number! i like that.

11. how many people are you following?

103, and i’d guess maybe half of them are active? i dont follow that many people ‘cause i dont want my dash to be unusable since im one of those people that scrolls all the way back to where i left off the night before.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

i mean. ive been here for so long im gonna say probably?

13. how often do you use tumblr every day?

like, 3-4 hours a day? maybe more. i dont know i dont keep track.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

i think the closest ive ever come is disagreement over the interpretation of fanfic njrfdg so not really a fight, or at least i didn’t consider it one and im pretty sure (and hope!) the other person didnt either. but man do i interpret daemorphing differently than the people who talked about it on my daemonfic trends post. for the record im now on the 20th fic in that series and i stand by everything i said in my trends post. but also i can now add that actual main plot of daemorphing fucking rules if you like stories about war and what it does to a person, many different aliens learning about each other and how to live together, and literally amazing yeerk content go read it.

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

dont care for them, they just make me stressed for no reason.

16. do you like tag games?

theyre fun! if im tagged in one i’ll do it.

17. do you like ask games?

a bit, but i dont really do them ‘cause i’d rather talk about like. daemons n stuff. i like answering all the asks people have sent me about daemons bc i adore talking about daemons.

18. which of your tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

uhhhhhhh idk. theinternationalacestation? talked to her through her tma fics and i feel like if youve read tma fic youve probably read at least one of hers. is that fame? i guess on some levels. also here is my monthly talk about hope etc go read hope etc please read hope etc i need everyone to read hope etc so i can talk to people about it.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah.

20. tags

ah yes the most stressful part of any tag game. including other people. i’ll tag @mackerelgray if u wanna do it and anybody else who feels like answering some questions about their blog, like. youre free to do so as well.

[macklives]

hi. so..... its been a while huh? feels kinda weird making a message on here, after what??? a month of not posting at fucking all??

and idk how to say that im sorry for taking so long, especially with kallie kinda sticking with me pretty much the whole time i was away. so we both kinda went AFK on everybody. and by god, this has also been the longest gap between updates. so yeah... i feel you all are owed an explanation. 

id like to give a short summary of what went down in my life recently. not so much as an excuse for my disappearance, but bearing in mind, i can't just come back suddenly without a notice as to why it took so long, and then start discussing homestuck theories as if nothing happened, that would be ...weird and off putting. im known as one to talk a lot in a post, so i think its expected. buckle up kiddos, this may be a long one, which you dont have to necessarily read, but im simply putting it out there for you all in case any of you may have been worried or confused. 

ALSO, keep in mind im alright with sharing this information because i needed some time to get over it in order to accept it, and being able to say this stuff means im pretty much ready to move on and go back to what it was like before (which for someone who has trouble focussing, can get quite fucking hard). so here's the last few months in a nutshell:

i got my wisdom teeth pulled so i was both in pain and numb for a week and a half after being drugged up with, idk, the IV they use to knock you tf out and that needle to numb your teeth?? and having those bad boys outta my mouth so that was a fun time. fuck that shit.

uhhh on the more upsetting side of things, a friend of mine recently passed away, but i took some time to recover from that. i didnt want to bum everybody out by liveblogging while in that state, nor did i feel like it was right to make jokes at that time (for obvious reasons) so i took some time off. and while i do still care for that person, after a while you have to come to terms that your life can't evolve around grief, and you have to move on eventually. its been a month and im doing way better than i was in the first week. so you dont have to worry really.. i even heard about the messages friends wrote on discord and let me tell you that i appreciate every response, i love all of them, i love all of you guys, but if any of you worry about me as of today, just know im doing perfectly fine and thats behind me now. so yeah, thats the worst of the news..

on less distressing matters, i changed up my job! i used to be a waitress at a restaurant to get that not so mucho money cash flowing, and now i got a full time placement as an intern (sort of full-time. full-time with student conditions). which in hindsight, to some may not sound like its any helpful, but considering im in my final year of college and i have to explore new places to get experience, id rather go where its needed so i reach that specific goal in mind. and you have to start somewhere, so this is where ill start heading. though i do still have to graduate which will take a lot of stress out of me eventually but it hasnt yet caught up lol... yikes to when that fuse blows in the future. 

and finally, the most frustrating part of the month, idk who it was specifically, the company or the landlord, but eh details arent that important, anyways, the landlord and/or its agency messed up with our rental situation and lost a lot of our info so i had to spend a lot of time trying to get that back while also filling out tax returns bc those were finally put out. so yeah, we kinda just have to wait for a notice, though i personally think everything will be fine. we’re considering moving out eventually, but thats probably gonna have to wait a bit longer. while we’re still angry, the landlord respected that it was out of line and apologised while making it up to us, so that was fair enough.

so YEAH, you can pretty much say its been one hell of a fucking month, and i had barely any time to liveblog let alone be in contact with friends that i kinda missed so fucking much????... i basically didnt want to bring anybody down with me (emotionally or mentally), so i decided to at least give you all a warning that i wouldnt be on for a while, hence the last update a few weeks prior, and to take a break for myself to figure out my situation, to rest, and to try and get healthier despite that wisdom fuck week, which nobody warned me wisdom teeth removals were ABSOLUTE HELL

but... im glad to be back, im not sure ill get back into the rhythm of how things used to be, meaning, posting almost every day....that would have to wait a bit unfortunately. however, i think it would be best if i made a sort of schedule for myself. maybe a liveblog twice a week, starting the next. it would help out a lot. i hope to start off with that at least, and not push myself too hard for hours anymore nor the stress of needing to post daily. i loved it, dont get me wrong, but sometimes it took a lot out of me since i know it takes a lot of my time. that being said, i will be on discord, maybe tomorrow? and probably be more active on there from now on, since everything is sorta cleared in my life and there's no more hectic commotion 24/7. the only thing at this rate stopping me from being active is having family over in the next couple weeks. but otherwise, yeah, its good to be back and im again sorry for my absence once more.

yours, 

mackenzie <33

[troublcmvker]

TASK ONE: make a new year’s wish.

I. mun based questions.

question one. i’m always open for pain and evil ideas! i Live for drama and wouldn’t be opposed at all. but i also think it’d be pretty neat to sometimes post a general request? especially if there’s a plot where a bunch of characters would fit and you guys could decide who fits Better! and that way everyone gets a chance to be part of Something. 

question two. i’d probably suffer a lot but i don’t mind the getting hurt. sometimes actions have consequences and they need to Learn. i’d be cool with that in any way tbh, most of my characters are vampires so... eh, they can just re-attach their arms for all i know. same with elijah but as a fellow human, it sucks to suck i guess.

question three. i would probably need to mentally prepare myself first, i’d get back to you on this one someday. 

II. muse based questions. 

ASRA - volturi guard vampire. ( pansexual, homoromantic )

i. i have a hc that during his human years there was one person he’d been in love with. the only being in his entire life he’d felt something for. asra never really confessed bc... times were different and their relationship would have been forbidden; but i imagine they were close friends. ofc, after he became a vampire and found out someone killed his family he went on a killing spree & pretty much everyone in his village paid the price. but he doesn’t know for sure if this person was a victim too. imagine if by some chance ( him not actually killing them and accidentally turning them; or them not being around at the time and being turned later by someone else ) they find their way into seattle... and them and asra meet. asra’s dramatic ass being reminded that he does actually have feelings! 

additional info: would have to be a male aligned korean fc around the same fake age as asra so... early 20s.��

ii. i think finding his singer would be something fun to explore? not in a... romantic sense because i highly doubt he’d even consider that. but more in a how dare you exist and make me feel like a monster for wanting to murder you, kinda way. bc.. he’s not exactly someone that kills for fun, mostly because he has to if he wants to survive ( and he does ); so someone that brings out that... feral? part of him and reminds him that he is, in fact, a killing machine would be fun!

iii. asra is someone that finds humans... very interesting; in the same sense of a zoologist finding animal behaviour interesting. he observes them from afar, never gets too close. what if someone comes so utterly... fascinating ( maybe bc they’re just a trainwreck of a person, or just... so different in the way they act ) that actually makes asra want to see them up close, interact with them or even... gasps care for them? unheard of! 

iv. this one is for my vamps out there. it’d be neat for him to find someone that calls him out on his “i have no feelings” bullshit, and gets close to him enough for asra to actually want to open up to them... long story short a friend someone he truthfully cares about. i see this as mostly platonic but it could be romantic if there’s chemistry.

additional info: they’d have to be male for any sort of romantic relationship to happen

v. maybe someone from their old covens ? i imagine he’d been in two before joining the volturi guard. nothing more than that, just someone, or multiply people ( squad ? ) that knows him from a long time ago and he banters with, or fights with, or maybe has a nice relationship with! 

vi. vampire he’s hooked up with ? most likely during his newborn days tbh, or before he joined the volturi. bc now it’s Serious Business Only. 

additional info: could be any gender.

ALICE - olympic coven vampire. ( pansexual, panromatic )

i. i WOULD LOVE CYNTHIA BRANDON. OR ANY LONG LOST RELATIVE !!! that’d be such a chef’s kiss connection to explore considering she doesn’t remember anything about her human life. if it’s cynthia just imagine her pain of her recognizing her sister but alice having no memories, absolutely nothing in her mind other than a weird feeling of ‘have i seen you before?’ or if it’s a long lost relative... them recognizing alice from really old family pictures and being like ‘isn’t this one of my relatives that disappeared from the asylum? wtf???’

additional info: cynthia brandon/any other relative would have to be at least half korean.

ii. i have a hc that after being turned, as a lost newborn she was found by an extremely nice and welcoming coven that took the time to teach her how to live her new life. i think it’d be cool to either meet her sire or an old coven member again!

iii. when she was just turned alice had no idea what the visions in her mind meant. she had forgotten everything about her life, and had no choice but to start all over again. at first she did everything she could to ignore the images on her head; and focused on simply making the most of this 2nd chance she was given. there was this one other vampire ( could be from that old coven, or just someone else she met ) that seemed to understand her so well. and for alice, someone that had never experienced love before, they were... everything she needed at the time. they helped to shape her into the bright and loving little angel that she is, they were so good to her. but soon enough came this vision, of her surrounded by so much happiness, a loving family and a mate that wasn’t them. a vision she couldn’t ignore. they were good, they understood, in fact they were the ones that encouraged her to seek for them, because it’s what she deserved. and so... she left in order to find her destiny. what if alice and this vampire met again? ( obviously alice loves jasper more than anything and she’s 100% sure he’s her soulmate but... mayb the pain :^) or just that Good Good loving and purely platonic relationship !!! )

additional info: could be any gender!

iv. humans/other vampires/cotm she’s blessed with her fashion knowledge as a fashion consultant ?? idk ! friends !! 

GARRETT - nomad vampire. ( pansexual, demiromantic )

i. this dude’s been alive since mid 1700s. always involved in american wars! i feel like in one of them, when there was someome that truly needed it. he turned a fellow soldier to make sure they come back from war. he thought them the basics, helped them through the bloodlust. what happened after they come back from the war is utp. but garrett is their sire. maybe they resent him, maybe they’re grateful. all there is to know is that they’re alive thanks to him.

ii. he’s quite the adventurer so... maybe vampires he’s met through the years on his expeditions? could be friends, could dislike eachother.

iii. i imagine at some point during his long life there had to be someone he was extremely close to. someone that could have been his mate, but for any reason they didn’t quite get there. maybe because at the time one of them ( most likely garrett tbh ) wasn’t willing to settle down, or maybe their feelings weren’t deep enough for that. but they worked well together in any other way. they could have drifted apart, moved along on good terms, or on bad terms. but seattle becomes the city they once again collide in.

additional info: could be any gender!

iv. the idea of a coven... wasn’t the most appealing for a free spirit like garrett. but it wasn’t something he had completely ruled out. maybe there was a time he was a part of one, or got really close to. they come to seattle and find him here, still a nomad, as free as ever. could be fun to explore!

v. this seems like a crackhead plot but hear me out... a human completely oblivious about the existence of supernatural beings. obsessed with american history. finding a similar looking guy in every single picture from all the american wars there have been since cameras were invented. and oh my god? does that tall dude in the library looks exactly like the dude in the pictures too? what the hell is going on? am i on x files?

ELIJAH - human. ( pansexual, demiromantic )

i. any possible platonic relationship you could imagine! childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, training/cop/detective friends ?? legit ANYTHING. i’m always sipping that ‘i love platonic connections’ juice

ii. this one connection is important. but basically... elijah gained his status by making the Right Connections. but there was someone above everyone else that helped along the way. they were together pretty much since they both started college, and they had everything elijah wished to have growing up. their relationship was mostly physical, their feelings for eachother weren’t that deep and they were both aware of that. elijah would get the exposure/connections he wanted; and they’d get the excellent academic status that came with elijah. but the fact that they were pretty much the reason why elijah got the chance to make those connections made them think they held some sort of power above him. and since elijah still wasn’t in a place where he could just let everything crumble down, he’d comply and do as they said. this relationship was toxic, there was no love between them at all. and it was bound to end at some point. there were some nice moments, not including the amazing sex, that would make elijah consider the possibility of a future together; but the bad moments would always make him go right back to his senses. if anything elijah is thankful for them, but he’s also extremely grateful that things ended without any of them hurting the other more than they already had.

additional info: could be any gender!

iii. past hookups ? exes ? there could be lingering feelings from their part.. or not. they could be bitter, or ended up in good terms! ( he’s married, in love AND faithful so it wouldn’t really be anything more tbh )

[flyingcookierambles]

plans for 2020???

uhhuhuhuhuhuhhhh

graduate college

get a part time job and take a gap year for academia/save up money while job hunting for my first Real Adult Job?????

figure out my gender??????????????? probably switch to like they/she pronouns or something bc i realized that every time i post something on twitter/snapchat/tumblr/whatever i always refer to myself as a “a foolish child who makes bad financial decisions” or “a person who makes their wallet cry” or like “guess who just spent like $40 on a steam sale???? this kidddddddddd” like ive always just been unconsciously referring to myself in like third person or they/them/gender neutral pronouns?????? like. i dont think that in any tweet/toot/snap ive ever written i’ve called myself something like “a foolish girl” or “a girl who makes her wallet cry” or anything so like theres that. and honestly ive made/been making some posts about this gender thing for like the past year. ive asked the cool mods at feminism and media about it (ill post the screenshot later). ive changed my main tumblr about page which i dont think anyone’s ever visited since it’s listed under “hi” and like maybe i should change it to “about”? anyways ive like changed most of my stuff online to be something like “gender questioning, but she/her pronouns are fine for now” or like “gender questioning/probably nonbinary” and then just straight up changed my facebook pronouns to they/them (but im p sure my family hasnt noticed thank goodness cuz thats not a can of worms i wanna explain to a bunch of religious baby boomers rn), changed my myanimelist gender to non-bianary (again why is this a thing? a rando blue anime hellsite is not the place i expected to have this option but like im not complaining so lol), and also put “gender questioning, probably non-binary” in the write in gender option on goodreads so like. uhhh. i guess im probably non-binary????? but also im a terrible and indecisive person so like every time i say im probably non-binary my stupid brain goes back to bein like. wait is this some internalized misogyny that makes me not want to be a girl/cis girl? but also i find the dysphoria memes/jokes on the egg_irl subreddit really relatable and its just a bad cycle in which i go “oh these gender dysphoria memes on a trans subreddit are really relatable” -> “huh maybe. im not a girl???” -> brain awakened to being not a girl -> self doubt of brain might have internalized misogyny -> haha im a cis girl even tho i always refer to myself with they/them pronouns in writing -> haha wait that doesnt sound right a cis person wouldnt refer to themself with gender neutral pronouns right -> i know, ill go to a sub that i know makes gender dysphoria jokes and caused this self doubt/gender questioning in the first place with dumb jokes like “would you push a button?” and this meme but replace the “im bi” with “im ace” -> haha these gender dysphoria jokes are really relatable -> oh no (repeat this hell cycle of self doubt for 2 years and its me haha) 

regarding the above example sentences of steam sales and my finances, uhhhh, i wanna play more video games this year. and actually finish them. because i think according to steamdb or whatever account rating site it is, my account’s games net worth is something ridiculous like $600. and like. ive only played like 30% of the stuff i own. so uh. i should get my moneys worth and play stuff

the above resolution does not apply to games that are technically endless with no real goal/end, such as the sims, cities skyline, prison architect, etc. this resolution applies only to games that do have an end, such as nameless, pesterquest, steins;gate, etc.

the above resolution also may have some exceptions due to technical issues or time since some games, mostly japanese visual novels like steins;gate, are not compatible with macbooks i guess maybe they’re not popular with gamers (not surprising the macbooks has terrible venting lol) and also maybe not popular in japan so japanese companies just dont think to port things to mac os??? idk what the issue is here exactly but like since im in a college dorm and not at home ill only have access to my macbook for a majority of the time.

also similar to the “finish the games” thing, i should read, or at least attempt to read, all the books i’ve brought. i have so so many ebooks. that are unread. yet i also keep buying more books. i should stop buying books and finish the ones i do have and also use the library more.

also i should probably figure out how to save money lol. im 22. but im constantly broke. 

also i should uhhh probably find more diverse books lol. like i love my shitty indie fantasy books and stuff but the protag is usu a white dude so like eh. but also. sometimes when i read books w female protags im like haha cant relate. and then the gender questioning sets in once again. is it because im probably non-binary? or am i actually trans or something???????? i mean i hang out on egg_irl, a mostly mtf trans sub, but also an occasional non-binary or ftm trans post comes up which is also nice to see. idk mannnnnnn lollll

also there was this whole like haha cant relate brain reaction to my school’s vagina monologues event when i went in to listen to my nursing major friend have some monologue. like she talked about some thing about like delivering a baby and it was kinda near the end of the event bc i got there late and the ones that i did hear at the end were just like haha cant relate but also ive been told that the monologues that year were particularly terf-y, probs in response to my college turning co-ed (it was up until i think 2 years before i entered a womens college and the older students, alumni and current students that were there at the time, were apparently super pissed about it, so the school i guess doubled down on “(cis) girl power!” but also kinda excluded trans/gender queer ppl that weren’t cis girls in the process)

gender is stupid i feel like id much rather not have to deal with it/pick a label to be and move on with life lol but my brain wont let me

push this internal gender crisis out of my mind by playing a ton of video games/reading a ton of books/do school work ig hahahahahaha

[ymcr]

i made an instagram for all my art stuff, remdraws, which probably won’t be suuuuper active because it’s just to keep all my projects in one place, but you can check it out or follow me there if you want i guesssssss. so far i’ve mostly just crossposted things i’d already posted here or on reddit and honestly i’ll probably keep doing that to some extent so there’ll be a lot of overlap but.. whatever lol

which reminds me that i wanted to come up with an art stuff tag for this blog too, but: - i already use “art” for uh..real art lmao - “my art” sounds presumptuous and i don’t even know if i'd call what i do “art” per se - but something like “scribbles” or “doodles” would be humble to the point of disingenuousness because while i’m not exactly making masterpieces, my projects do often take considerable time and effort, and idk i think the work i put in is pretty clearly manifest in the finished piece (whether or not the product of my labor is actually objectively “good”) — OR i’m overthinking this and the self-effacing connotation could just be facetious, which, honestly, would be entirely on brand - “drawings” is a pretty neutral option, i suppose - “remy draws” or something is probably the most obvious choice since that’s essentially the same as my ig, but tbh i generally don’t like tagging systems where you refer to yourself in the third person because usually it just sounds juvenile or gauche or idk just kinda weird. eh - or maybe none of this matters at all. why did i write all this. who cares. oh my god. when did it become quarter to noon i have completely lost track of time. bye

[killerqueenjoy]

99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

eh

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

no

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

[softnorwegians]

Some asks that I’m answering all together because I don’t have much to say and didn’t necessarily want to put them all on people’s dashes:

I just rewatched Season 2 and I‘m asking myself why I liked Noora that much. Besides the whole William thing. What he did to Vilde was so gross and he did not change. And let’s be hones, what happend to Noora when she was young was what William did to Vilde. Besides that. When she just directly shows Eva the tabs on Isaks Phone and talks about him and Sara in such a judgmental and mean way. And the whole Syria Crisis thing was so awkward, she didn’t really care. She just wanted to seem better 1\

2 than Eskild. And how she kissed Yousef even though she was so sure that Sana fancied him. And why? Because Sana did not tell her William had a new girlfriend. But in season 2 Noora doesn’t tell Eva about Jonas new girlfriend for a while. She tells her right before Eva and her go to the party where Jonas and his girlfriend are too. Ugh Noora in season 1 was awesome but they completely destroyed her character.

Yeah, tbh Noora was never one of my favorites? Maybe because I try to live-and-let-live and not get too judgmental so it’s extra painful to see someone failing at that. I think Noora is realistic and sometimes relatable but it can be a little hard to watch, hahaha.

I was always okay with Noora until s4 though! I absolutely got completely sick of her during s4, ajhksjf. I don’t hold kissing Yousef against her because I like to pretend that just didn’t happen but I was exhausted by how much we were seeing and hearing about her.

I’m confused as to why people are upset about William getting mad at Noora when he thought she slept with Nikolai?? Unless I’m remembering it wrong, he asked her “did you sleep with my brother” and she responded with “I don’t know” and he stormed off. That definitely doesn’t seem like an overreaction to me, just miscommunication as to what happened and what exactly Noora didn’t know (whether she was raped or not vs. whether she had consensual with him or not)

Well, “I don’t know” is an answer that doesn’t really make sense when related to the question of having sex so I think people felt like it was little ‘eh’ to not pick up on the undercurrent of what she was saying with it. But yeah, I’m not holding his initial reaction against him. It’s when he gets the texts that I’m like “...what”.

just saw this in the tag "blackmail? lol she doesn't have to go on the date. all she had to do was say "hell no" and then tell vilde what happened. it's not that serious". why did society teach us it's desirable for a man to never stop even if you say no to him, that if he just keeps pushing you'll see the light eventually. it's also funny that france leaked a key episode again to create hype. there's no way it isn't intential. i guess at least Italy will get s3 since they're in Oslo now *sighs*

I probably should have addressed more about Noora agreeing to the date but oh well. ...I have an allergic reaction to “s3” and “remake” in the same sentence. It’s making me not want to watch any of the remakes any farther, tbh.

one thing is also that he doesn't say it in a joking way, he sounds serious and it's very bad directed if that line was supposed to be a cute way of asking for consent.

Yeah, agreed, like I don’t get that at all from the line. It’s more what I figure it has to be.

If you look past how unnecessary annoying and obsessed Julie made Vilde (to a point some people probably thought it all was Vilde and not William), she also had a pattern with Norh*lm. His friends get beat up instead of him, he acts like 180, Noora doesn't owe him. He gets mad and hurt when she tells the truth, he walks away and she lays it out again but she kisses him. She doesn't know if she was assaulted but she has to get him back when he's been hurt. What a mess but boyfriend goalz!

I’m tired.

If it's hard to see how Wilhelm pressured Noora then switch it out to be about sex or coming out of the closet and add in how everything affects Vilde with her eating disorder and fragilness with her feelings then perhaps it's clear as a day.

Sorry, I’m not quite following this one! But I feel like I would support you. 😁

I don't see why peolke think william changes in s2? He gets points from his fans that he stops sleeping with girls, is gentle and soft (Vilde said he was that and that's why she fell back to her, NHs must really dislike Vilde in the 2.8 scene), doesn't pressure her with sex after she says she wants to wait, doesn't read her messages, finishes her essay while she's sleeping after a panic attack and GOSH doesn't leave his love in that state to party hard. Then ignores/levavs her when he finds out.

I’m still with Vilde, she deserved better than William and why isn’t that true for Noora too?

I would actually say literally nothing I hate about willhelm (besides not using a condom) is stuff heard via rumors and gossip and actually just through stuff he actually does onscreen lol. Also even if He never would've actually told Vilde about what happened threatening to do so isn't any better sorry

I just really hate in general that he’s leveraging something to get to Noora. I mean, she does agree to this date (offscreen) but even then, it was a bargain and not because she actually wanted to be there. What kind of “date” is that. I just hate seeing that in any context, a woman coerced into a “romantic” situation.

“Take Vilde, she reveals he was loyal, caring and gentle when they had sex beforehand we were made to believe the opposite was true”..Um and then he slept with every girl in school. I mean sleep with whoever you want, however many people you want but being gentle and nice in sex doesn’t mean your a good person. That is the opposite of loyal.... I don’t even hate William honestly think I hate Noora more but the pro side always reaches so hard only people who reach more are the Jonas haters.

Oh, yes, I didn’t comment on that but the “loyal” definitely doesn’t apply.

I agree we should have gotten way more Vilde and Even content and way less Noora and William drama. I hated the way Vilde was portrayed(the comments she made about Sana to the Pepsi max girls and just some stuff she did/said we’re not cool and I didn’t like that it was kinda brushed aside)and don’t get me started on the lack of Even. He was(I’m assuming)a big part of her life, he was best friends with her brother and was probably around a lot and we just didn’t get the storyline they deserved.

*pours one out for the s4 we imagined during the hiatus* 

Common trauma? Amazing how William knows Noora doesn't feel loved and left by her parents yet he shuts her out and leaves her after he's seen her having a panic attack when she can't breathe and says she feels as if she's going to die over something she isn't ready to share yet. And this is supposed to be a desirable relationship? At least they are attractive? But attractive white fuckboys have always gotten what they point at.

Yeahhhhhhhh, it really does make it harder to excuse what he does when he knows something is wrong and she’s actually pretty upfront with “there’s something I have to tell you but can’t yet”.

it's amazing how most 18/19 are decent at that age and you get to vote, drive and drink, but if you are a rich badboy you have a right to act however you want and people must forgive you in the end. since julie never made his bff chris be more than a second supporting character, why couldn't he be the huge asshole instead and wilhelm had to be torn with his loyalty? then I rmbr the blackmail date did so he missed defending his boys, tg s1 didn't say it was the date's fault he wasn't there! 😊

I don’t even mind that they started William out as an asshole, they just went too far with it imho and never pointed out “this behavior is wrong and we know it” and he never had to atone or redeem himself for what he did.

n8rhelm is supposed to be the classic hate to love story, there's a million movies but ive never seen one where the person is terrible to the love interest and manipulate them like this. also william is a really weak actor, don't know if that doesn't translate,all he have is his looks and glaring stares. he couldn't even deliver pretending to be a bad actor with niko there or when he tells nooea to be quick with the water. he has no timing or natrualness, only kisses and react n's great acting

I find Thomas Hayes to be... not a great actor but also not completely terrible? There’s some scenes I buy him (the marching band scene where he’s rolling his eyes I remember as good?) but he doesn’t bring a lot sometimes. idk.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “(1) ok I’m pro-noorhelm and arguing via ask is hard with a limit and I…”

And whenever Noora talks about his good qualities and whatnot, we never really get to see them. It’s all off screen. It would be easier to forgive him if we actually got to see his change, but ah well

☝ I think that would really improve things, tbh.

thegirlnooneknows5 replied to your post “the funniest argument to me used by noorh*lm stans in excusing his…”

It also perpetuates the idea that ‘no means convince me’ and that’s farked up

Ugh, yeah. That’s one of the more depressing undercurrents of s2.

daigina replied to your post “1)The truth is really in the eyes of the beholder , you guys don’t…”

I agree it’s a good move with William but it does nothing to resolve the major problem with him that season which is how he treated Noora with no discussion or explanation or apology at all. If that detail had been fitted into even a short discussion between the two over all of THAT in Williams clip that would have been soooo nice

Also that was such a tiny thing?? Like they didn’t even spare two seconds of dialogue on it, it’s barely there. If you need a magnifying glass to see character development, does it count?

Yeah, I liked that lawyer detail but it really was such a last minute, supplementary thing!

i still think julie had no idea what the fight was about in s4 or changed her mind when someone was coming back. we knew she rewrote and missed gullruten, several norwiegians reported on rumors at the time that she bearly had written the last episode when it was time for recording. she wrote the fan fave to have an unprovoked violent moments just in time to bring back the one who everyone complained had hit someone with a bottle. and how could yousef've been so wrong about what happened at bakka

oh god, let’s not even get started. it just makes me sad to think about how thrown together s4 wound up being.

Hi. Is it true that skam italia is using a white actress to play Sana, a muslim character?If so, it is wrong in so many levels, tbh!

I believe the actress is white and isn’t a muslim. And yeah, nagl. 

I feel like that with skam france they have the intention to do a season 3 and want it to start in autumn to align with the original series. I’m not saying I agree or like this tactic but it seems to make the most sense of why. Sure the time span is short between 1 and 2 but it’s not the most unrealistic. The director said he went on this project because of season 3 especially so I guess that’s why I think it’s like this. It would be more odd for Lucas to move in to the flat during the year.

Oh god... sorry, not you, I’m just at the point where I really don’t like being reminded that season three will ever be remade anywhere.

[twerkhammett]

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Holy fuck, good thing I have a long train ride😂1. Full nameAngelica DeLillo2. Age213. 3 fearsFailure, getting snatched up one of these nights im on the train alone, losing the people i care about4. 3 things I loveNik, food, and our cat5. 4 turn onsBiting, slapping (ass face and tits), being tied up or held down, and when he gets that mean look on his face and i know hes gonna be really rough with me ugh6. 4 turn offsI have had these experiences with almost every person I've been with except Nik..bad hygiene, being rushed (you cum yet?), bad oral and when i tell them what would feel good they dont listen..and worst of all sex that feels half assed. They just want to cum real quick, theres no passion or effort, they don't care if they please you at all. Fucking horrible..7. My best friendIn cali my best friend here besides Nik is Ashley, and I get to live with them both its awesome! In Florida I cant choose one cuz ive known them all forever and love those dudes..Mels, Denzel, Brauston, and Alicia8. Sexual orientationBisexual9. My best first dateWith Nikolas obviously 😉10. How tall i am5'611. What do I missMy friends and family back home12: What time were I born3:55pm13: Favourite colorGreen14: Do I have a crushOn my boyfriend😂15: Favourite quoteIdk man16: Favourite placeHard to choose one, maybe my bed😂17: Favourite foodI hate favorites..pizza and wings18: Do I use sarcasmNever :)19: What am I listening to right nowSlayer 20: First thing I notice in new personIf they're fuckin rude or not21: Shoe size822: Eye colorBrown23: Hair colorLight brownish? Auburn?24: Favourite style of clothingBlack25: Ever done a prank call?Yup27: Meaning behind my URLKirk twerkin28: Favourite movieKung Fury29: Favourite songCant choose30: Favourite bandStill cant choose my dude31: How I feel right nowMeh32: Someone I loveNik33: My current relationship statusIn love af its disgusting34: My relationship with my parentsPretty good these days35: Favourite holidayHalloween36: Tattoos and piercing i haveNips, lips, and ears37: Tattoos and piercing i wantA lot, whenever i get the money..38: The reason I joined TumblrMels made me join lol39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?I don't think he hates me, but i hate his bitch ass..40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used to get them from Nik but we live together so now he can just tell me lol41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?This morning42: When did I last hold hands?Yesterday43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?15mins, its caffeinating myself that can take time44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?Noooope45: Where am I right now?On BART46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?Nik, been a while since thats happened tho47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Loud48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Nope49: Am I excited for anything?For class to be over so i can relax lol...haven't even got there yet50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?Nik, Denzel, Brauston51: How often do I wear a fake smile?At work lmao52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Does my cat count? An hour ago lol53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?This would never happen, but I would go to jail if it did lol54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Not that i know of?55: What is something I disliked about today?Nik had to work early and I've been sexually frustrated af56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?James57: What do I think about most?Nik and food are tied i think58: What’s my strangest talent?Idk59: Do I have any strange phobias?Eh not really60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Behind61: What was the last lie I told?Not sure, probably at work lol62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?On the phone63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Aliens yeah64: Do I believe in magic?Nah65: Do I believe in luck?Not really66: What’s the weather like right now?64 and clear skys67: What was the last book I’ve read?Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?Yesss69: Do I have any nicknames?Besides the ones Nik has for me no70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?Cut my knee open71: Do I spend money or save it?That shits gone pretty fast dont get to spend it on anything fun tho haha72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?Nah73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?My backpack has some pink on it74: Favourite animal?My cat😂75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Fucking76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Trump77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Nightcrawler78: How can you win my heart?Be Nikolas or James Hetfield79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Nothing80: What is my favorite word?Fuck81: My top 5 blogs on tumblrIdk man i like a lot of yall82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?Someone please assasinate the orange one83: Do I have any relatives in jail?Not that i know of84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Invisibility or time travel85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Not sure86: What is my current desktop picture?Some nature pic bc i havent change it87: Had sex?On a daily basis my dude88: Bought condoms?Yes89: Gotten pregnant?No90: Failed a class?Yup91: Kissed a boy?Yup92: Kissed a girl?Yep93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes, Nik94: Had job?Sadly95: Left the house without my wallet?Fucking yes!!!96: Bullied someone on the internet?No lol97: Had sex in public?A few days ago lmao98: Played on a sports team?Yep99: Smoked weed?This is where my extra money goes..sigh100: Did drugs?Nothing crazy but yeah101: Smoked cigarettes?Yes102: Drank alcohol?Yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?Noo104: Been overweight?Nope105: Been underweight?Nope106: Been to a wedding?Yep107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?Yes lol108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Yeah109: Been outside my home country?Not yet, but I plan on it110: Gotten my heart broken?Yeah couple years ago111: Been to a professional sports game?Yep112: Broken a bone?My finger lol113: Cut myself?A while ago114: Been to prom?Nope115: Been in airplane?Yes116: Fly by helicopter?No but I want to!!117: What concerts have I been to?Megadeth, Metallica, Exodus, Testament, Carcass, Slayer, Midnight, Kreator, Obituary, Children of Bodom, Rammstein, and a few more but those were the best ones118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Quite a few times119: Learned another language?Some German and some ASL120: Wore make up?I wear mascara121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yeah122: Had oral sex?Yupppppp123: Dyed my hair?Yes124: Voted in a presidential election?Yep!125: Rode in an ambulance?Nope126: Had a surgery?No127: Met someone famous?Nope128: Stalked someone on a social network?A while ago hahah129: Peed outside?Yep130: Been fishing?Yes131: Helped with charity?I donate to greenpeace monthly132: Been rejected by a crush?Sorta133: Broken a mirror?Im sure I have, I def had a big ass mirror fall on my fuckin head one time tho!134: What do I want for birthday?Some dick😂135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?2 max, no idea about names, havent thought about it much136: Was I named after anyone?No137: Do I like my handwriting?Its a bit sloppy but yeah138: What was my favourite toy as a child?Barbies lol139: Favourite Tv Show?DBZ😂140: Where do I want to live when older?The forest, somewhere in Colorado maybe141: Play any musical instrument?Not well lol142: One of my scars, how did I get it?Accidentally stabbed myself at work143: Favourite pizza toping?Mushrooms144: Am I afraid of the dark?No, I need it to sleep145: Am I afraid of heights?A bit146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes lmao, many times by my dad usually147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Did you mean my last relationship😂😂148: What I’m really bad atProcrastination149: What my greatest achievments areGetting the fuck out of fl, some of my artwork, learning to cope with my depression150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meProb something my ex said lol151: What I’d do if I won in a lotteryQuit my job, build a house, and open a cave bar (me and Ashley were just talkin about that)152: What do I like about myselfWell i guess i never stop trying even tho i fuck up a lot hahah153: My closest Tumblr friend@stalkhome-sindrone probably😁154: Something I fantasise aboutA stable income...Thanks for that big ass ask my anonymous dude!!😂To the rest of my followers, sorry for the long post and some of the tmi questions😊

[travellers-survivor-old-west]

Episode 4: “Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where”- Austin

I kinda wish our tribe would lose just so I could see where the lines are tbh. Also I have a bad feeling that at a swap/merge our tribe is gonna be picked off because we’re going in with the most numbers and on a base level that’s dangerous; however, I do think it could be deeper than that because of the preconceived relationships and I’m looking forward to seeing who goes home tonight and where we go from here.

This round was a little wild for me. Austin has been my fave since the beginning and we finally created an alliance. We both liked eve so that was easy but we wanted one more person. This is where things got a little complicated. Him and eve both liked isaac but honestly i wasnt feeling isaac and love pat. But i didnt want to push too hard so we just went ahead with isaac. 

BUT we also talked to pat and will have ANOTHER alliance with him (so austin, pat and me). SO basically im working with everyone right now except keaton. Im glad our tribe has been killing it because that means no TC wooo 

We tribe swapped so that is fun. It's always interesting to have a switch up. I have still yet to be screwed by a tribe swap in my entire history of playing ORGs which is something I am happy with. This is one of the best iterations of a tribe I can think of actually. I can forge a closer bond with Xander and Dylan, because now if we lose I won't need to vote one of them out, they become my core 3. So, right after the swap I made an OG Malakoff chat with myself, Xander, and Dylan. I just wanted the immediacy to show that I was serious in wanting to stick to that, which I am. I have communicated several times that I want to work with Isaac, so ideally Austin will go in the event that we lose. I feel bad because he is a sweetheart, but he doesn't fit into my strategy, and if anyone understands game being game, he does.

I love my new tribe??? Not only is nick still here so that gives me a safety net, the sammy I like is here. Pat is here. No idea who eve is but that’s okay too. I’m loving this. Inb4 I get voted out next Bc they actually really fucking hate me :^). Byebye payton it was nice kinda knowing you? Hello ~hopefully~ friends <3

I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack.

Tribe swap....just what I didn't want to happen . I dont ha e my #1 ashley with me but at least I got issac here. Jared is on my tribe now too so that could go either way for me because he knows how I play the game. Gonna have to pull something out if my ass here .

This is for Alyssa you dumb ugly fat white bitch why you keep asking me for a confessional with trifling dirty white racist ass big fat bitch x Anyways. Made an alliance with Pat and Sammy! V excited to work with them but we’re snapping in immunity so, I don’t see why we would need to vote off Vi.... I mean someone at tribal! Hehe

Well....we got our last handed to us. I'm not happy going to tribal bc I feel I'll be the one going. I talk with jared and issac the most but I feel jared will stick with xander and dylan. Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where.

I have been busy the past couple of days so this challenge being a endurance/speed comp was a struggle. And it looks like my team didn't do much. To help... It's fine we can get out one of these other two dead weights. Speaking of them. Im glad the swap merged me with two allies but the other two just suck to talk to... And that's coming from me .. Jess knows what I'm talking about. Anyways I don't want them here and want them gone. As for my allies. I like Jared a lot we are getting along and enjoying ourselves. He's definitely the one I trust most in this game and hopefully it gets me to merge where I can start phase 2 and hopefully get far. Dylan is fine .. he's offline a lot but he's from old tribe so like it helps. 

Just finished the challenge, OH MY GOD i suck at trivia but thankfully sammy snapped and we won, thank u sammy love u so much!!! Still dont believe he is straight tho x IM JOKING PLS DONT KILL MEDFHNSJFDH

I hate confessions. That’s my confession for the round... jkjk. Eh there isn’t much to talk about now that it’s tribal time. I hope whoever from our og tribe stays safe but I forgot who is there so oops. Sammy killed it. I still call bs on the centipede question but oh well. It wouldn’t have changed the result. It would have just made the gap close by 1. 

LOVE MY NEW TRIBE. So happy we swapped. I’m with actual love of my life ASHLEY!!! And Chloe is amazing too. Aidan popped off in the challenge. Keaton is Keaton. This is a good group and I’m glad they did rlly well in the challenge. I love this kind of thing but I wasn’t able to constantly be on my phone all weekend bc that’s rude :( so I’m glad it worked out. Hoping the tribe swap works out in our favor and Xander jared and Dylan stay together for the vote. Idk if Isaac and jared are friends??? I hope Isaac leaves because he knows I’m a ‘threat’ in games and because I think Ashley yelled at him once. Idk who Austin is but Ashley likes him. But idk how likely that is if Isaac and jared have a connection. As long as jared stays safe ifgaf who leaves.

Yowza. We got absolutely wrecked in the challlenge. I don't WANT to lose any challenges, but I believe in the long run I should be happy to take this L. As another way to show my loyalty, I decided to give my idol progress in the chat with Xander and Dylan. I noticed Dylan never reciprocated so that gives me 1 reason to be wary. Then, Dylan posted a very inappropriate joke in the tribe chat in reference to Survivor Thailand, and the word "rape" was used, so that was the 2nd thing to make me uneasy. At first, Dylan and Xander had no opinion on who to vote, so I voiced that I would like to vote Austin- then Dylan remembered who Isaac is and said "he can go." I eventually got things back on track to target Austin, but Dylan better be careful- it's 3 strikes and you're out with me. I have a good relationship with Isaac so I wouldn't be surprised to see Dylan go if we lose again.

Day 9 on the survivor tribe. My thoughts are about toes and only toes. They are consuming my entire day. I exist merely to think of toes. 

Also Chloe...

Okay so I’m just gonna throw down some of my thoughts right now since I’ve been very quiet in confessionals. I fucking hate these small ass fucking tribes. It makes the thought of going to tribal terrifying because your odds of going home are increased. Since the swap ive actually really been enjoying my time, I really like my new tribe and I feel I can actually connect with these people better than on my first tribe. I am glad to actually have Aidan with me because he’s like THE person I want to work with from my og tribe, along with Vi. I still have my reservations on Nick even though I think he’s nice I can’t trust him as far as I could throw him. I really feel that the trivia challenge brought us closer together as a tribe since what’s a better bonding experience than yelling at Jess that she’s wrong 50 times in one day. I think we’re all collectively quite strong and I really hope that means we can slide past for a while without going to tribal. 

Honestly i always forget what i confess from last time but i still think I’m in a good position in the game. However I really do not want to go to tribal because I don’t want to show my cards. Eve and Pat both want me to work with them so we have an alliance and then Vi and Nick approached me and want to work with me as well. This was completely surprising to me bc I felt as if I would just be an easy vote out if we were to go to tribal since I’m a lone wolf. However I’m in the middle and I feel somewhat powerful knowing that people want to keep me and want to work with me. Me and nick have had a rocky relationship in past games but i think he’s a great person. He’s just a wildcard. I love vi and i think she’s the sweetest person to have ever existed but my gut is telling me to work with pat and Eve atleast for the first vote. Hopefully I don’t have to make the decision but who knows. That’s all I have for now other than I think the idol system isn’t anything I keep getting zapped. I feel like a fly in a southern home...ZAP.

I couldn’t remember the day so I put 69. I hate this tribe with my whole heart and my whole bussy. Jared is the only one giving me any sort of shot at making it passed this round. Austin is a slime ball who will do anything to save his own skin, Xander is dead apparently, and Dylan has been tracking down places where famous people died. I feel like this is my own personal hell and while I’ve been assured that Austin is going home (which I wouldn’t be surprised was a lie) I still have to make a swap or a merge and with the clowns on this tribe being inactive and never talking about anything but Star Wars or not talking at all I don’t know how possible it is to win a goddamn challenge. 

*insert Da'vonne pretends to be shoocked gif at a swap* Since it didn't happen at 16 I wasn't surprised too see it at 15 but I'm glad because three tribes provides for much more buffer. My initial reaction to my tribe was positive as I saw that I had Chloe and three new people in the mix. I'm not gonna lie that I was getting bored on my old tribe but I do hope that Nick is doing alright. He's one ally that I'd love to connect with again... Vi is alright too but I don't know how strong of a connection we fostered. First impressions of my new tribemates: Keaton - I heard he was fucking with my friend in another game so my guard was up but I tried and he seems aloof and random with his contributions but it makes sense since he's playing 4 games at once. Will probably work off of the others who contribute in challenges? We'll see. Ashley - Sweet and seems like a hard worker. Not too much of a read on her yet Owen - He seems nice and genuine but not much of a read from a game perspective yet. It seems the split is 2-2-1 on my tribe from previous tribes but I don't know how strict to tribal lines people are going to play but I can feel some aloofness with Keaton and Ashley is traveling so... that's that on that. If we were going to tribal I have no idea what the fuck would happen but I want to strengthen connections. Honestly I think we can make it to the merge without hitting an elimination but who knows. THANKFULLLLLLLY my ass had a lucky night on the railroads and jumped to spot number fifty and apparently found a STEAL A VOTE. This is what I DESERVE. Thank you Old West Gods for blessing me, the star, with this iconic power. I'm glad I have it in my back pocket and I'm not telling a fucking soul. If it needs to be used, it will be flaunted and I will pop shit. Hopefully I can save it for after merge but if I need to control a pre-merge vote just to get my way, I'm going to do it. 

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-ep-2

[jjinomu]

how did you get into editing pmd models? you're super good at them, and i'm considering taking it up. i was wondering, how/where did you pick it up?

oh boi oh geez where do i even begin omg (long post so i chucked the rest under the cut)

first thank you for your compliment hehe i really appreciate that!! but hmmm well- i started editing pmd/pmx models like aaaaaages ago i dont even remember much but generally for most beginners, lots of people tend to recolour (i mean i did it too when i first started hehe shout out to my zatsune model edit of animasa miku phew gud ol’ days) which is totally okay especially if you’re just figuring out how like colours/textures work and the whole material panel/subsets/i’m saying-weird-terminology-that-you-probably-don’t-get-yet pretty much all the tools and what they do that’s totally okay hehe once you poke around it for a while, you’ll get use to which tool does what and that’s all gud (i recommend getting the english translated version of PMDeditor (or PMX- i use PMX) because that’ll save you a lot of time (i use the japanese version because i’m weird and dumb and i’m still trying to figure stuff out myself to this day)

after that phase of recolouring (normally i wouldn’t recommend staying in this for long like, i recoloured 1 model and moved on straight away HAHA) at this point one of the most common and main styles of editing for starters is taking editable (or ‘legal’) parts from other models that allow editing (make sure stuff is editable before you do anything or you could get in trouble), and then piecing it together to form your own cool new model edit yeyeye, there should be plenty of tutorials how to do this and how to avoid glitches with joints/physics/bones and stuff so if you want, just hmu privately and i can quest for some for you, but it shouldn’t be too difficult to find!! 

usually lots of people generally stay in that area of editing which is totally chill as well, with practice and constant improvement you could like reach some good levels of work from just part-editing itself, ive seen it happen many many times!!

otherwise the other option you could go down is what i generally do nowadays for editing- and that’s i guess, ‘modelling parts’ (which is what most people call it) or ‘meta-editing’- it involves pretty much, chucking a base into an external 3D program to build clothes/your own parts and then re-rig it entierly again in PMXeditor (i’m a lil tired asf but i have a tutorial tab on my tumblr page where i go more in depth on this and where to start if this is what you wanna do) thoUGH keep in mind, it’s probably best you get use to using PMX and all the terminolgy and such before anything or else it’ll be like what whAT WHat

personally i think that this ‘meta-editing’ method is almost the more easier and safer route, though when you’re starting out it’s like ‘MmMM shit’ but trust me it’s…. imo it’s easier than part-editing (because i used to do that too) mostly because 1. you just make your shit rather than find it (sometimes some parts aren’t even ever made) and 2. you avoid breaking rules completely because heck ur doing it 100% urself wat are rules (aside from obviously your base model’s rules haha)

i forgot what else i wanted to say um

oh yeah well- this is like the basic of the basic explanations, i need you to be more specific if you want me to teach you stuff but the least i can do now is give you a brief overview?? but das it ehe

otherwise some tips i’d like to mention as well which have nothing to do with the actual practice, are as follows:

#1 tip: that i donnn’t think i’ve ever preached on this blog before but i might as well start bc it’s important!!! try ur best to remain humble/modest watever- honestly i think….. if you start thinking you’re some God level editor or watever that’s when…… improvement kinda halts……. so even though it might be kinda ehhh, be a little harsh on yourself- you’re your own critic and it’s better to recognise your faults before someone else points them out for you (because that can hurt heaps, but i mean if u hate urself first nobody else can amirITE AMIRITE i’m kidding don’t hate urself)

i, for one am always very horrible to myself with my edits- like i dislike a looot of them which is actually kinda terrible LMAOO so i don’t recommend like hating everything you do because that ruins the fun- and sometimes it might even push you to stop entirely (i’ve known friends that have quit because they couldn’t get it right etc.) as long as you realise that whatever you do currently isn’t going to be as great as what you do later in life, then you’re like guranteed to improve no doubt about it- in a way, you’re not putting any limitations on yourself so you can grow from that! just continue to persevere, some people don’t improve until a looot later and some people improve like within weeks- so don’t let that get to you either!!! i’ve been doing this shit for like ages and i still am not as good as like actual modellers because i’ve just…. been too comfortable and improved only as an editor askdajsk

#2 tip: do not compare yourself to others especially when you’re first starting out- i’ve had…… quite a number of people compare themselves to me which is….. to say the least……. quite uncomfortable for the person you’re comparing yourself to??? because you gotta keep in mind how long people have been doing stuff (like this is my 6th year and literally everyday i’ve opened up PMX or metasequoia and i’ve toyed around for at least an hour) and idk just try not to compare yourself- because i know it’s kinda difficult not to but trust me, try to walk your own path you can create your own shit without necassarily comparing- unless you’re comparing to improve yourself whiiich leads me to my #3 tip

#3 tip: do not be afraid to mimic styles or toy with styles, i mean do not claim a certain style as your own that’s a HUGE nono, but it doesn’t hurt to like attempt to mimic someone who you look up to, and their style in order to help you improve and find your own style!! i personally mimic artists (rather than MMDers/editors) when i do my edits and then i started to develop my own kinda style??? like i still do a lot of imitation ‘edits’ which are those anime edits you see every now and again (like my yoi models or my binan models) and that’s fine!!! i think the most improvement i’ve ever had in terms of face-editing and stuff have come from me trying to imitate art of others (instead of just blindly going for my own style from the getgo) and this goes for drawing too!!! hell i still ‘mimic’ styles whenever i do any edits that have already an art design for?? i like accuracy first and then i play my style into it later and that’s totally cool too!! as long as you correctly credit and don’t claim as your own, you can’t really go much wrong (unless the person is like hey? can u pls stop? then ya don’t HAHA) i once had an incident back when i was a baby editor where i,,,,,,, kind of recreated someone else’s style of model edit line into like a different model style (in this case it was LAT so that’s how long ago it was) and then redistributed without their prior permission and ya that was bad don’t do that HAHA

and ya that should be it, i wrote this like 60 years ago and it’s been sitting in my drafts and i totally forgot about it until today so i hope that helps ya out!!