#its far away and hard to reach but by god it feels achievable

[mossy-rot]

just had a very intense moment of trans joy bc i just realized like. This week im gonna go to work with short hair wearing my binder and im gonna walk in and my coworkers are gonna say "hey lucien" and i'll put on my trans flag pin and my he/they pin and im gonna introduce myself as lucien and holy shit. man. this is real. i can do things like this. will it always be pleasant? no, i still get misgendered by customers constantly. will I be able to go home like this? no, i'll have to change out of my binder as soon as i get home and hide my pins before i even start my car. but i get to go out and wear them in the first place. people still call me by my name despite knowing my deadname. people call me they instead of she when they don't know my pronouns. i have queer coworkers. I feel safe. the other shoe will drop eventually, but until then, i'm going to bask in what i have

[prettyinpurplelights]

COME HOME

in high hopes for tomorrow’s psg game but also missing kylian and still feeling like a proud mom after his achievements this weekend so all of that kinda almagamated into this whatever this is to keep y’all off my back abt pt 6 of care (for now) 😭

*********

You wait nervously in the bed, your thumb nesting between your lips as your teeth chip away at the nail anxiously. So much had happened since you’d last seen him, almost a week ago. The firm had sent you to New Delhi to woo your new potential clients, a task that had taken you far too long, your planned two day trip extending into six, nearly seven before you’d managed to get the oil execs to finally close the deal. They somehow found a problem with every contract you’d drafted, anyone would’ve given up after the 75th hour and you had a feeling the firm knew this, hence why they sent you, their hardest, most immovable closer. And the most annoying part about all of this was you still weren’t done, you were due in London tomorrow, to present everything to the head office there before you’d be able to finally go back home to Paris. The one and only saving grace about this was the 7 hour layover in Munich before your flight to England, which couldn’t have come at a much better and more convenient time. Your phone pings in your lap and you pick it up, reading the text that had appeared.

we’re almost back from the press conference, did you get in okay?

You unlock your phone to reply.

yeah, the front desk were great. thanks for your help again.

always.

he still has no clue?

not one 😌

you’re awesome. i owe you.

make me your world famous carbonara next time i come over and we’re even 🍽️

You laugh as you type out your response.

you got it sergio 😂

You place the phone facedown on the bedside table, standing up and straightening out your pencil skirt. You move to the mirror opposite the bed, raking your fingers through your shoulder length hair, trying to bring some life to the curls that had lost their volume after 9 hours of being pressed onto the headrest of the airplane seat and another 3 hours on the hotel bed when you’d knocked out the second you saw the pillows. Reaching into your blouse pocket after you finally feel satisfied with your hair, you take out your lipgloss, opening the tube and spreading some of the shiny liquid along your plump bottom lip when you hear the door open, his voice drifting into the room as his laughter pulls your mouth into a smile.

God, you’d missed him.

“Putain!” He shouts at whoever was on the other side of the door.

“Good night! Save that energy for Bayern Kylian.” The other voice teases and you watch him flip its owner off. His back is still facing you as he closes the door, he was yet to turn around and notice you.

“Language Kyky.” You stand with your hand on your hips, a faux stern look on your face as he finally spins and jumps, a surprised gasp escaping his throat.

“What the fuc-“ Then he stops himself when his eyes zero in on you, drinking you in and realising who you are. “Y/N??”

“Hello 201.” You grin and he drops his backpack to the floor, rushing to engulf you in a hug as he lifts you off the floor instead.

“What are you doing here?” He says in a small voice, almost as though he was speaking to himself.

“Had to see my ooof-“ You’re unable to finish your sentence because he slants his lips over yours unexpectedly, heavy and hard, and you open your mouth to welcome him as your fingers grip his shoulders. His hands untuck your blouse from your skirt, slipping under the sheer material to hold your waist. You eventually grow light headed as he continues to kiss you passionately, needing to replenish the air he drew out of your lungs so you pull away. His chest rises and falls as he takes in deep breaths of his own, looking at you beneath his lashes.

“Sorry.” He smiles sheepishly but his eyes roam your face as though he is trying to commit every inch of your skin to memory before you fade away again. It’s intense, too intense and you can no longer hold his gaze, feeling your stomach turn to jelly so you drop your head to his chest, your ear pressed against his heart and he holds you there.

“I missed you.” He whispers into your hair, his nose nuzzling your earlobe as he breathes you in and you scrunch your nose, pulling your head back to face him. His arms are crossed behind your back over your blouse so your frame still leans against his from your upper body down.

“Ugh, don’t do that. I just spent almost half a day on a stuffy flight and I haven’t washed my hair since the last time you saw me. I forgot to take my shampoo with me and you know how those white ass hotel toiletries dry my hair out. I probably smell bad all over.”

“You smell like home.” And to make his point clearer, he dips his head to your neck, inhaling and exhaling deeply, his warm breath tickling you. You push against his chest, laughing and he pouts as the cool air from the room replaces the feeling of you against his body instead.

“Well you definitely smell like grass and sweat.”

He shrugs, throwing off his windbreaker.

“Didn’t get the chance to shower before the press conference. I was gonna jump in as soon as I got back.”

“Dang, so I interrupted something?” He looks up at you from a bent position as he pulls his socks off.

“Perfect timing actually. You get an exclusive performance.”

“Is that right?” You suck your bottom lip into your teeth as you watch him shimmy out of his shorts so he’s standing in just his boxers and long sleeved thermal. Both tight as hell and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.

“And private backstage access.” He flicks his head towards a door you guess leads to the bathroom. “Join me.”

You twist your lips to the side, humming as though you’re deep in thought when he pulls the thermal over his head, now staring at you with nothing covering his tight torso, and your breath catches in your throat a little bit; he’s truly a sight to behold.

“Last chance.” He smirks, holding his hand out and there’s no way you could say no to his dimples, although you knew you were following him into that shower, dimples or no dimples. You stretch your arm, your palm landing on his and he closes his fingers over the back of your hand pulling you flush to him.

——

You end up in the bath again a while after the shower, Kylian between your legs as you run your manicured nails over his scalp in a fashion you know he loves. He had ordered room service for the both of you, not wanting to go down for dinner with the rest of the squad for the fear of losing out on whatever little time he had with you before you left. Kylian had thought it would somehow be possible to soak chocolate sauce through his skin as he wasn’t actually able to eat it or his nutritionist would have his head.

“Kylian that’s literally impossible.” You’d laughed as he spread the spoon covered in sauce over his bare chest.

“If the hagfish can do it so can I. Shhh.”

“What the fuck is a hagfish?” He laid back on the bed, his arms behind his head and his eyes closed.

“Some weird eel thing that absorbs food through its skin.”

“And you know that how?” You’d shifted so you were lying between his legs, your hands laced over his stomach and you rested your chin on top of them, watching him.

“Vitinha was shouting random facts he was googling on the jet here.” You nodded as you both laid there in a comfortable silence.

“I don’t think it’s working.” Kylian said after a while, opening his eyes to look at his chest to see the chocolate hadn’t diminished at all in quantity.

“Well no shit.”

“Wanna lick it off instead?” He had a cheeky shit eating grin spread across his face as he watched you crawl up the bed towards him. You stopped just as your lips brushed against his, your body hovering above him, careful not to rest your entire weight on him and risk getting the sauce on you too.

“I bet that was your plan in the first place.” You whispered against his mouth before dipping your head and running your tongue over his chest.

“Mmm, and it worked.” He replied, grabbing your face and pressing your lips together as your legs wrapped around his waist and he flipped you over, getting the sauce all over you in the process anyways. It was a wonder amongst everything else you did following that, the bed itself managed to stay clean.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He murmurs, his hand laced in yours, the one that wasn’t in his hair.

“Only for a little while though baby. I gotta go catch my flight soon.” He grunts disapprovingly, squeezing your hand tighter. “I’ll see you in Paris in a couple of days though.”

“I wish you’d stay longer. For tonight at least.” You feel his shoulders tense against your chest and you move your hand from his head to his shoulders, trying to work out the knots. On nights when he’s feeling most nervous about a match, you knew he loved to sleep next to you, and wake up by your side, claimed it was his good luck charm or something of the sort. So much so that there had been several nights when you’d been woken up at ungodly hours by the buzzing of the intercom in your apartment, letting you know he was downstairs. You’d let him into the building, leaving your front door unlocked as you went back to bed, eventually hearing him enter your room and sliding onto the mattress, his arms instinctively wrapping around you. You’d lean wordlessly into him, letting him take whatever good luck he needed to still his racing mind and calm the nerves wracking his body. It had almost become a kind of ritual for him. And you know tonight, he needed it more than ever, your heart breaking slightly because you’d have to leave him in less than an hour.

“You’ll be fine Ky.”

“I don’t know.”

“Kylian Sanmi Mbappé Lottin, you just became the highest scoring player at one of the biggest football clubs on the entire globe at 24 years old. There’s nothing you can’t do, Boy wonder. World at his feet. The future of football.” You repeat the headlines that had been circulating the news following his historical feat. You wish you’d been there to celebrate with him in the moment, you’d been so proud of him, you were sure the hotel you were staying in in New Delhi had received complaints of the yelling coming from your room given it was well past 1am when you were watching him play and receive his award.

“There’s just so much riding on this match. I’m scared.” He sighs and you feel the heavy weight resting on him in your hands as you kneaded them across shoulders, wishing in your actions you could somehow take some of it on.

“PSG believes in you baby. Your coach, the staff, your teammates, the fans, they all believe in you. Your family believes in you. I believe in you.”

He turns to face you, the water sloshing over the sides as his eyes burn into yours. You smile, running your finger over the frown lines etched into his forehead as you smooth them out.

“You got this-“

“Move in with me.” You both speak at the same time.

This isn’t the first time he’s brought this question to you, and initially, you had been very hesitant. You loved him, no doubt about it, and wanted nothing more than to spend every waking second with him but there’s something so big and final about sharing a living space that scared you. You loved your apartment, your independence and freedom, proud of the life you’d managed to build for yourself. You knew Kylian appreciated that about you, he was never one to make you feel like you needed to depend on him to be better or worth more. He just wanted you around more. You’d thought about it a lot in the week you’d been in India, what that would mean for you and your relationship with Kylian.

“Ky-“

Your alarm goes off on your phone in the other room, the one you’d set to remind you you had 45 minutes to leave, and you’re silently grateful for the interruption.

“Come on.” You rise to leave the bath, ignoring the pained look in Kylian’s eyes as you wrap a towel around your body. “It’s almost 10, you gotta sleep and I need to get ready.”

You step out into the bedroom area, reaching for your phone to turn the alarm off. You’re in the middle of trying to put on your bra when Kylian eventually comes out of the bathroom, digging into his bag for a pair of fresh boxers. He pulls them on and kneels onto the bed, next to where you’re sitting, removing your hands from behind you, his rough fingers brushing against your spine and he fastens the clasp of your bra.

“Thank you.” You say.

“Lay with me until you have to go?”

You stand to lift the thick duvet as you slide underneath it, sitting up against the headboard with your arms open. The corner of his lips lift slightly, his body getting lost under the duvet as his head rests against your stomach, and you run your nails over his scalp once more, soothing him to sleep.

“I love you.” He mutters into your skin, his words vibrating from your abdomen and spreading their warmth all the way to your peripherals.

“I love you too.”

It’s not long before you hear his soft snores against your stomach; he never struggles to sleep when he’s next to you. You reach over to grab your phone, seeing you have less than 5 minutes to leave for your flight. Carefully and slowly, you peel his arms away from your midriff, slipping out of the bed, miraculously without waking him. You quickly put your clothes on and gather your things silently in the dark room (you knew Kylian was sensitive to light and you really didn’t want to wake him), making sure you hadn’t forgotten anything. You’re ready to leave when you take one last look at your boyfriend, resting peacefully albeit the frown lines still present above his brows. You watch the small slice of moonlight cutting through the gap in the drawn curtain illuminate his face ever so slightly, his lips slightly open, his right arm reaching out as though he is looking for you and your heart tugs. There, in that moment, you realise how much you hate you have to leave him, how much you hate to be without him, how much you did need him around you and you make a decision. You spot a hotel-branded pen and some post-it-notes on the desk, quickly scribbling some words onto the paper, hoping it would be legible in the daylight since you could barely see in the darkness. You rip the piece of paper off the pile and slip it into his right boot that he had lined up in front of the wardrobe next to his gym bag ready for the game tomorrow before leaving the room.

———

“COME ON BOYS! LET'S SHOW THEM WHO WE ARE!”

Verratti yells as chorus of “yeahh”s follows his motivational words. The air in the dressing room is thick with anticipation, and excitement and nerves as all the players get ready to make their way to the tunnel for kick off. Kylian blows out a big breath, grabbing one of his boots from his bag. He pulls up the flap as he puts his foot in, stopping when he feels his toes press against something crunchy. A small piece of paper falling out in the process of him removing his foot to figure out what was in the boot. He unfolds it, revealing messily written note, as though the person had written it with their eyes closed, but he can recognise your penmanship anywhere.

BRING IT HOME BABY xo

He smiles at first, not realising the deeper meaning behind your message until he notices several lines underlining the word “home”. His eyes widen as he reaches for his phone quickly, snapping a picture and texting you.

You’re seated on the plane back to Paris from London, having finalised everything with the office so you were free to go home, and you couldn’t wait to get back to your own bed, sick of living out of your suitcase for the past week. You are about to put your phone on airplane mode, per instruction from the in-flight cabin crew, just as your phone lights up with a new notification. You had texted him good luck earlier, and guess he is probably responding to that. You open the message to find he’d sent you a picture of the note you’d left for him with “you mean it????” You laugh to yourself, you know he’s not stupid, he would figure it out.

win the match and find out :)

gonna score two for you.

Kylian is anything if competitive, jumping up onto his feet as he locks his phone and throws it in his gym bag. He had his obvious reasons for wanting to win this game, the most glaringly clear one being it would bring him one step closer to winning a UCL trophy for his beloved club, their first ever. But now he had something else to win for, something he’d been wanting for months now, and absolutely nothing was standing in his way.

Ramos makes his way to Kylian, patting his shoulder firmly.

“You ready bro?”

“More than ever.” Kylian nods, before taking his friend’s hand and dabbing him up. “Listen, thanks again, for earlier man.”

“Don’t sweat it. And look at you, you're glowing! And got a little bit more fire in your eyes. Thank you Y/N!” He raises his hands and eyes to the sky, as though thanking god. Well you. A goddess. A true deity to Kylian himself.

The referee blows the final whistle, 3-1 to PSG, meaning they win by a point on the aggregate, and the ultras crowding the stadium go wild. After all the celebration, he finds himself in the dressing room, high off his win and claps of praise on his back from his teammates as he tries to find his phone to text you.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, knowing who was trying to contact you as your Uber pulled up outside the huge apartment complex. You’d seen all over Twitter that PSG had won, and you couldn’t help the surge of pride that bubbled up in your chest as you scrolled through the various tweets of congratulations for your boyfriend and his squad, especially for him winning man of the match. You wait until you’re inside the apartment, your suitcase resting on the wall by the front door before you pull your phone out of your pocket to read the message.

we did it. and i scored two for you.

i saw. had no doubt you could.

You hit send as you finally find yourself exactly where you wanted to be. You’re stood in Kylian’s living room, in front of the double doors on the far left of the large room that lead to the balcony, with the perfect view of the Eiffel Tower, a view you knew you didn’t get from anywhere in your apartment. You could see your yourself slightly in the glass door, you hadn’t turned the light on too bright, so the glare wouldn’t erase your reflection and the background but the monument was still visible.

Perfect.

You look down at your phone to see the bubble that showed Kylian was typing disappear before reappearing again.

so?

He finally sends.

so.

You quickly click on the camera icon in the bottom corner, lining the frame so he could see you in picture as well as your surroundings. You snap the picture and send it to him.

hurry up and come home.

*****

As always, lmk your thoughts, I love hearing from you guys, thank you to everyone who comments and sends me asks, love and appreciate each and everyone of you <3 also GOOD LUCK PSG! LETS GO! 😌💙

[mothmanperson]

only maggots love the taste of rotting flesh.

cw: blood, gore, angst, really bad attempt at being poetic, reader implied to be from another world/universe(isekai), dead dove: do not eat

no character is mentioned, but it’s a jujutsu kaisen…. thing i wrote, i honestly don’t know what to call this

what were you doing…?

what have you….. done….?

blood rushed to your head and you suddenly couldn’t feel your feet and hands anymore, besides the aching cold that filled you to your bones.

your knees screamed, the rough, cracked ground you kneeled on duh into your skin like needles. but you didn’t move just yet, your body just… refuse to let you turn away from the gruesome scene in front of you.

one that you alone had caused.. this, was your own doing…

at one point a painful sound rung through your ears, piercing your eardrums, red bleeding down your neck onto clothes you borrowed.

you didn’t notice, it felt as if everything around you was dulled yet so enhanced at the same time. you thought if you felt hard enough, you could feel the pitter patter of ants from the park far away, that was spared by the havoc.

god…. have you always been this cruel?

you never thought you could fall this far.

clarity, yet you couldn’t even see your own perspective anymore. you lost sight of something you could barely remember anymore, lost in a war that had nothing to do with you, that shouldn’t have been possible to have anything to do with you.

yet… like a fool, you went with whatever was thrown at you… instead of helping yourself, like you always did, instead of taking things into your own hands, like you knew you had to.

you sat around and did nothing: twiddled your thumbs, achieving nothing to help your peculiar case.

the day you came to was a blur, yet you seemed to gain a sense of deja vu, red filling to much of your unfocused view.

you breathed calmly, deep breaths that made your lungs want to burst out of your chest in shame of what you’ve achieved.

your heart beating uncomfortably fast, but not enough to be threatening.

it felt like when you didn’t sleep a minute at night, your body doing everything to pull your through the day, while also staying alive and alert, creating an almost out of body experience, you could see yourself kneeling in front of the growing pool of crimson blood.

the one you created, on your own with no one to blame but your own.

god, those hands that were smeared with cake batter just a few days prior, now forever stained with cooling blood of someone you recognize.

you took another deep breath and your lips parted, cracking and tearing apart, fresh dropplets of blood filling the spaces between dried skin, your teeth coated in a lot more of the same liquid, horrifying, as it forced it’s way down your throat.

you didn’t even mind the taste.

your hands shook, as did your vision as you looked at the appendages, moving them in any kind of way hurt as dried wounds reopened, ripping open even more and your bones scratched from below.

your skeleton wanted to escape its sinful bindings, and so did you, run away to a place that wasn’t this, that wasn’t here.

hide from the world and rot until dirty maggots feast upon you like you are a delicacy, loving your taste, your texture, your thoughts and feelings.

loving you, even if they were lowly, filthy things that crawled to the dead like moths to a flame.

eating hole in your heart, finding there is one already, round and empty, black and blistering like tar, bleeding into your live essence, mingling with your blood like old friends. when it shed, only then was it’s true nature revealed, sticking to everything like sweet, sweet honey, everything you once reached for so hopefully, was painted it’s ugly color, the saccharine smell attracting flies to lay their spawn, setting their doom.

yet you were still alive, the maggots loved your flesh, yet you moved and lived and continued on with your live, letting decay fall upon all without a care.

you should‘ve helped yourself, when you still had the chance, now you killed and your fate was sealed, your doom was to come. you felt it in your corroding heart, you felt it.

god, or was that feeling just the larva indulging in your core?

[blam-marie]

Hey tumblr have a look at this scene and let me know what you think about it please thanks :)

IT’S NOTHING PERSONAL, Chapter 01

Tristan Jones stared out of the café windows at the cruise ship moored at the docks with the same unnerved trepidation he imagined straight people must feel, just before they married someone they would proceed to jokingly call ’the ball and chain’ in their wedding vows. He didn’t want to get on the ship. He was going to, and he had been reliably informed that he was expected to have a good time while on it, but he personally remained dubious that such a good time could be achieved.

For one, he would be far away from any means of repairing his electronics if they broke, and his electronics were his life-line. For two, the planned itinary of the ship was set to take him into several areas where he would be completely outside of signal range, which was worse. He hadn’t even known such areas still existed in this day and age of magically-boosted satellites and wizard wifi. For three, he was supposed to go on the cruise with Klaus Reed, of all people. Now, it wasn’t that Tristan had anything against Reed. He liked him well enough, had even worked together on occasion. But Reed was excited about the cruise, and a mismatch in attitude like that was always a pain to work around when you were trying to settle into a new cover identity.

Oh, right. There was also that: Tristan Jones wasn’t going on the Three-Months Dream All-Around Tropical Wonder Cruise as a vacation or anything of the sort. He was going on it as a spy working an undercover assignment against his will.

Think of it like a reward, his boss had told him, because he was an asshole. You’re my best agent, so you get the best assignment. In agency parlance, that meant: ‘you pissed me off somehow, but since you consistently bring in results, I’m not allowed to punish you. So I’m going to send you somewhere very scenic, for a mission that will be either mind-numbingly boring if you’re lucky, or extremely fucked up if you’re not.’ And since Tristan was an experienced agent, and he had a sense about these things, he could already tell that the second option was the most likely, even though he’d hadn’t even set foot on the godforsaken boat yet. He’d only needed one look at the mission brief to be able to tell.

According to the files he’d been given, half of the passengers of the cruise were set to board today, and another half at the next destination. Given the speed that the tickets had been sold, the lack of publicity for the cruise, and previously gathered data on some of the passengers, there was a high possibility that most if not all of the people about to board already knew each other, and may be involved in some manner of scheme. Unfortunately, what manner of scheme remained unclear, and it was one of the things that Tristan was here to uncover. With his luck, it might turn out to be anything from a terrorist plot to a weird sex cult.

Tristan scrunched his eyes shut and shuddered at that last thought. In the back of his mind he prayed to whatever deity oversaw spies (like all good spies, the god of them probably knew better than to let anyone know its identity, so he never put a name on his prayers and trusted that they reached the right godly department anyway) to not let him walk into a sex cult. Or at least not while partnered with Reed.

Once again, he didn’t have anything against the guy! And it’s not like Tristan was a prude or anything. He just… not with colleagues. Or other agents, even if they weren’t colleagues. Never again. That was a hard limit that he had set for himself years ago and he was going to hang on to it. It made his whole life so much less complicated.

Speaking of Reed, he sure was taking his sweet time. Tristan checked his watch. It was very fancy and very obviously a knock-off of an expensive brand, and would likely break down on him halfway through this mission. You’d think that would be annoying, but he knew that it was a feature, not a bug. Nobody thought that you were an undercover spy with military-grade equipment if your phone screen was cracked and your watch was a piece of shit. (That wasn’t the reason why he had been given it, though. The reason was that the hacks who worked down in Equipment hated him. It wasn’t his fault if they got offended when he returned his gear with obvious improvements in the softwares and hardwares. He wasn’t trying to insult them, he just needed shit to fiddle with on long boring stakeouts. He was a technomancer, of course he was going to mance the tech! What else did they expect?)

At T-minus-30 minutes to departure time, Reed still hadn’t shown up and Tristan was fidgeting with his undercover identity’s cellphone. He wasn’t actually supposed to turn it on until he’d boarded the ship, to reduce the risk that his movements before embarking could be retroactively tracked. But his partner was way beyond late now, and Tristan needed to know what the fuck was going on. Reed had been delayed, obviously, but Tristan didn’t think it was a catastrophic — or permanent — delay, or he would have received some signal to abandon mission and gtfo. So, what, was Reed just stuck in traffic? Did he slip on a banana peel and twist his ankle? Had he misread the briefing packet and was waiting in a completely different coffee shop? Tristan’s thumb hovered over the phone’s home button. He was just going to text him real quick using the café’s wifi, and then hack into the router to erase his tracks. With his skills, he was reasonably sure that no one but his partner would ever see that message.

The café’s door jingled. Tristan glanced up and away, reflexively, then froze. He slowly put his phone back down and shifted, ready to spring up from his chair. Right, so the mission was fucked-fucked. Good to know.

[thathermitweirdo]

The worlds had shifted.

The feeling was new.

Fresh.

Powerful.

It wasn't uncommon to feel a new realm come into creation. Players would come and go, worlds and servers blinking in and out of existence every passing moment. Some had been abandoned, left behind and forgotten. Others could be inhabited for years, for those who had undying determination. Each would be more different than the last, from the terrain and the world itself, to the builds and the creations that filled the region.

Normally, they would pay no mind to this. It was the natural way. One server would crumble, only for a new world to be brought into existence at the very same time. Though, it was hard to ignore how intriguing this new realm was. Something about it held great promise, like it was destined for something.

That had already caught their attention. The overwhelming potential that radiated off this world could not be ignored, nor would they turn a blind eye to its inhabitants. They were vigorous and bright, just as the new world that they had traveled to. Their presence was like a luminous beacon of light, impossible to ignore through its immaculate glow.

Individually, the large group of players held a small glow, no bigger than a candle. But when they were brought together, when they were united as one, the light they held could not be contained. It reached throughout the corners of the world, brightening even the darkest shadows that lurked within the realm they inhabited. As one would fall into dismay, the others would be there to offer their undying light. They were intertwined, bonded closer than blood, with eternal faith and trust in one another.

They were allies.

Friends.

Family.

The players were vastly different in many aspects. Some were inhuman, monsters and creatures of the undead. Others were purely human, though their skills and abilities were anything but similar. They were nothing alike, and yet cherished each other as if they were the closest of kin. It was...odd. How could they be so close, so accepting of one another?

Worlds like these were uncommon. Players were normally in conflict, at war with one another. Calm servers never lasted, most would turn greedy or vengeful rather quickly. Allies were rare, but a moment of peace was even rarer. But here, it was all for fun. No smoldering battlefields, or ruins of buildings. It was peaceful.

This wasn't what they were used to.

They liked it.

It was refreshing. A new challenge.

Servers were always so easy to conquer, to control. They were already at war with one another, making it easier to persuade and manipulate players. But these players? They were a united force, they would be able to stand together and resist. They would be harder to control, they wouldn't be pinned against one another so easily. And yet, the reward would be far greater than the effort it took to achieve it.

This world would bow before them, the players worshiping them like gods.

They just needed a bit of help to get it done.

⭑

The start of the season was always Xisuma's favorite time.

Especially now, the first day of season six, as the small batch of misfit players set up camp in what would be the future shopping district. Tomorrow morning, they would all go their separate ways to start work on bases and farms. But for now, the server's admin pushed that thought away. It wasn't the time to worry about building starter bases or collecting tools and armor, it was the time to spend with his close friends.

Doc and Iskall were working on setting up a couple temporary tents where the group would spend the night. Joe was helping Stress prepare a dinner over the campfire that False was collecting more firewood for. The admin himself was busy fixing up a few bugs here and there, since 1.16 wasn't all that finalized. But, the server seemed to be running smoothly, so at least that wasn't an issue.

"How much longer until all the bugs are fixed with the update?" Zedaph asked, impatient from his excitement.

"I'm not entirely sure yet," X laughed. "But I'm sure it won't be too long. Just the first few days. Don't worry about it, I'll get it done."

"Don't kill yourself with the workload." Joe warned as he waved a ladle at the admin.

Xisuma simply rolled his eyes, though a smile remained across his face. "I got it. Now, where—"

"Dudes!" Ren called, running out of the darkened woods. "Mumbo and I found a shipwreck nearby!"

"Oh, looks like that answers my question." X chuckled yet again.

The aforementioned redstoner stumbled into the campsite, though his hair and clothes were dripping wet with salt water. "Yep...and someone had to go get the loot.."

"Find anything good?" Cleo asked while lounging by the fire.

"A few potatoes and some rotten flesh, but nothing useful. We did happen to find a couple spots that looked good for bases, but that's about it." Mumbo sighed with disappointment lingering in his voice, taking a seat near the fire in hopes of drying himself off.

"We'll have better luck in the future, after all, it is only the first day." Stress hummed while stirring a large cauldron of bubbling soup, pouring it into a couple bowls for the group to enjoy.

"I'd say we're doing pretty good for a start." TinFoilChef joined the conversation, walking into the campsite with an iron pickaxe in one hand. Tango was close behind, carrying their goodies that they had collected from the underground caverns.

"I assume the mining trip went well?" Cub asked as he handed a bowl of soup to Scar, while the older hermit gave a calm nod, setting down his tool.

"Plenty of iron and a couple diamonds. It was definitely a good haul, we barely spent any time down in the mines."

Tango dropped the bag of materials on the ground, taking a seat between Impulse and Zedaph near the tents. "Yeah. I'd say this season is off to a pretty great start!"

"Agreed. It's not every day we all get together and camp out like this, but I'm glad we are." Wels chimed in, sitting next to Jevin while sharpening an iron sword.

"I wish we could do it more often." Xisuma sighed while closing a floating transparent screen that he used to monitor the server on. "Hopefully we can in the future, but for now I plan on enjoying the moment."

"Finally, dude! You've been staring at the screen since we got on the server!" Ren said, patting the spot next to him to invite the admin to take a seat.

"I know, I know... I'm just trying to get the server working so that I don't have to waste time on it when the bugs get worse."

"Well, it's better to get it all done now rather than put it off for later." Doc said as he finished setting up one of the last tents, joining the rest of the hermits by the fire for dinner.

"That's true—" Cleo admitted, "—but you gotta start taking breaks more often. You can't fix up the server if you're completely exhausted!"

Xisuma chuckled. "Alright, alright, I promise this season will be different." He said, Joe handing him a steaming bowl of soup.

"Does everyone have something to eat?" The poet asked the small group, gaining nods and agreement from the other hermits. He smiled and sat next to Cleo to enjoy his own meal.

By the time everyone had finished eating, it was late into the night. It had taken time to gather up all the ingredients and prepare dinner, so that was to be expected. Most hermits went to bed immediately after, planning to get up early in the morning to start work on their starter bases. The few remaining hermits spent the rest of the night joking and laughing before reluctantly turning in for the night.

Doc was one of the last few awake, rubbing his organic eye to fight away the creeping feeling of sleep. By now it was well past midnight, as the moon hung high in the sky above. Stars danced and twinkled like never before, as if the galaxy was celebrating the arrival of the hermits to this new world. "Wow," the cyborg muttered in awe. "I don't think I've ever seen so many stars in one place before."

Xisuma glanced up from the panel he was working on, distracted for a moment. "Yeah. It's beautiful." He agreed with a smile, before turning back to his admin duties.

"C'mon, man. You shouldn't be working right now. It's way too late." Tango mentioned, stuck between Impulse against his shoulder and Zedaph's head resting on his lap. Both had fallen asleep long ago, and while Tango was tired, he feared that moving would wake them up.

"Yeah. It's the first night. We'll be able to deal with a couple bugs here and there!" Cub agreed.

The admin kept his eyes glued to the screens in which he worked on. "Sorry. I know I said I would stop working. It's just that—"

"You're a workaholic." Tango rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

"Seriously. You need a vacation!"

"Or at least some sleep." Doc laughed, "It's late, X. Why not turn in for the night?"

"I will, I will. I just need to wrap a few things up, I swear." He promised.

"Okay, fine. Don't make Doc have to drag you to bed!" Cub chortled as he stood up, stretching his arms above his head. "I'm gonna join Scar in his tent for the night. See you guys in the morning."

"Night Cub! Hey Doc, do you think you could help me with Impulse and Zed? I don't think I can carry them back to our tent by myself."

"No problem, Tango." The creeper said as he stood up, walking over to team ZIT. He grabbed Zedaph by the collar of his sweater with ease, before grabbing Impulse with his other arm.

"Dang! Gotta love robotic enhancements!" He laughed in awe of Doc's strength.

"Come on, let’s get these two to bed." Doc said before glancing over his shoulder, locking eyes with Xisuma. "Get some rest, man."

The two headed back to their tents, leaving the admin alone by the remaining ashes of the fire. He sighed while closing the floating panel of code. 'They're right, ' Xisuma thought silently. 'I'll get some water to put out the fire, then head to bed. I don't need to finish fixing all the bugs today.'

He grabbed an empty pail sitting by some resources, the admin heading out of the campsite in search of a river. X could have sworn he saw one earlier, though the forest was harder to navigate in the midst of the night.

Looking up towards the sky, the stars above glistening brighter than before. Xisuma paused for a moment, almost enchanted by the sight. 'The sky has never looked so clear before, ' The Brit thought while staring at the darkened blue deep purples hues in the galaxy above. 'It's almost like magic. '

Fog filled his mind, eyelids growing heavy. 'Goodness, I really AM tired. I didn't even realize... ' Xisuma yawned, tearing his eyes away from the sight of the stars above. Once he got the water from the river, he could head to bed and finally get some much-needed rest.

Walking through the forest, running water could be heard softly trickling nearby. The campsite could be seen very faintly in the horizon, though the flicker of light from the ashes was beginning to die down. Even so, it was safer to fully extinguish the fire, just in case. Xisuma didn't want any fire spreading on their very first night. Though, it wouldn't take very long before someone accidentally burned down a tree or two.

He knelt beside the river, dipping the bucket into the slowly flowing water. Xisuma stared into the eyes of his reflection, somewhat lost in the distant mess of his thoughts. Something felt wrong, as if his mind wasn't working properly. Was he getting sick? That couldn't be very good, especially this early into season six! It would be a shame to have Joe and Tango step in as temporary admins, causing them to fall behind on early progress. Not to mention they would have to deal with all the strange glitches that seemed to be popping up on the server.

Taking off his helmet for some fresh air, Xisuma let his shoulders relax. He rubbed his eyes, grogginess from the lack of sleep beginning to weaken both his mind and body. The Brit tried to stand, though the bucket felt much too heavy to carry. He could barely hold it for a few moments before dropping it, causing all the water he had collected to spill out.

"Oh jeez.." X muttered while shaking his head, bending down to lift the bucket off of the ground. For a moment he saw something out of the corner of his eye, as if someone had been there for a moment. A chill of surprise ran down his spine, Xisuma turning around to spot whoever had snuck behind him.

No one was there.

"H-hello?" He spoke rather quietly, glancing around at the surrounding trees in the forest. "Doc? Is that you?"

' My imagination must be running wild. I should hurry and get back to camp before I drive myself crazy. ' Xisuma thought cautiously to himself, picking the bucket back off of the ground. He dipped the pail back into the water, gathering just enough to put out the fire, but it would be light enough for him to carry.

Clutching the bucket close to his chest, Xisuma began to walk back to camp. He felt paranoid, like someone was watching him from afar. It was a ridiculous thought, but one that filled him with anxiety. It's like he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being stalked, which caused the admin to walk slightly faster through the forest.

His body froze at a rustle coming from the bushes, his heart rate increasing drastically. X shakily glanced over his shoulder, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "C-Cub? Tango? Is that one of you?" The bushes rustled again, causing the admin to take a step closer.

"Hello..?" He raised an eyebrow, taking another nervous step toward the bush. He placed a hand on one of the branches, pulling away the greenery to try and glance at what was hiding within.

Something jumped out at him, too fast to give Xisuma the chance to scream. The only sound was his bucket hitting the ground, and the faint splash of water.

⭑

When he woke up, there was a shift in the air.

It was the first thing Xisuma came to realize, as the cool air of the summertime night had been lost. Instead there was an uneasy chill, a feeling that he just couldn't explain. His head felt like it had been split open, a pounding feeling against his skull that made the admin groan.

"Looks like he's awake. " A voice spoke suddenly, one that Xisuma hadn't heard before.

He fought to open his eyes, his vision foggy and unfocused. The world around him wasn't Hermitcraft, X knew that for sure. It...Well, it wasn't any world. There was quite literally nothing, nothing other than space. Galaxies surrounded him, stars and planets unlike any that Xisuma had ever seen before. Deep purple hues mixed with blue and red, so vivid that it was like the Brit was actually in space.

"Welcome, admin!" Another voice greeted him, causing Xisuma's gaze to shift upwards.

Two figures stood before him, tall creatures with the silhouette of humans, yet they were anything but. Their skin was a light shade of purple, ears pointed, with the white of their eyes instead black. One was female, or at least, it looked like a female? Her hair was long, flowing down to her waist. She wore a dress with a deep purple color (which complemented her skin) along with gold accents and jewelry. The man was dressed the same, but instead of a dress he wore a fine suit with a long tailcoat.

What X found most intriguing about these creatures was their hair. It was...strange, to say the least. It was as if their hair was made up of the galaxy itself. Dark purple colors mixed with stars and nebulas, as if they had taken a chunk of space and merged it with their hair. It moved like it was made of magic, flowing mystically on its own.

"This is the one?" The man asked, seemingly unimpressed with a cold gaze of judgment locked onto Xisuma. "I suppose he will do...For now."

"Patience is key, Cepheus." She spoke with a voice made of silk, the woman kneeling beside Xisuma's collapsed body. "He will do just nicely."

X tried to push himself off of the ground, though a burning numbness suddenly washed over him, causing the admin to collapse before he could get onto his knees. "W-wha—" Xisuma gasped, lungs burning as if he had run a marathon.

"Stay still." The man, Cepheus, commanded. There was a strange aura surrounding his hand, was it the reason X suddenly felt so numb? Was it some kind of spell? Or magic?

The female creature removed his helmet, placing it next to the admin while inspecting his face. She placed a hand on his chin to lift his head, stroking a thumb against his cheek. Her magic seemed to cancel the magic that had previously overtaken him, which gave Xisuma the chance to catch his breath. Still, he was frozen on the ground, paralyzed.

"Let's help you up, shall we?" She smiled, snapping her fingers together. Xisuma felt his body leave the ground as a tingle spread through his limbs, his arms and legs moving with a mind of their own. His limbs straightened out as his feet touched the ground, though he felt frozen. It was like he was some kind of toy or figurine for these creatures to play with, no free will of his own.

She clasped her hands together. "Much better, now we can properly speak with you. I am Cassiopeia. And this—" She gestured towards the man standing next to her. "—is Cepheus. We are creatures known as Watchers, beings of magic and power."

"We've taken a liking to your server." Cepheus continued, "So we have decided to help you out."

"As the admin, we have decided to gift you power similar to ours. You will use the magic we give you to keep your server in check, as well as assist us." Cassiopeia said.

Xisuma blinked, his mind trying to catch up with everything that was happening. "I-I'm sorry, 'assist you'? What does that mean?"

"You will simply have to repay us for our gift. We can go into finer details later on, though it isn't of relevance at the moment. For now, however, we shall send you back to your realm." Cepheus explained with a magical aura surrounding his hand.

"Wait, what—?!" Xisuma shook his head, "I-I don't agree to this, I have questions, wait—"

"Everything will come in due time." Cassiopeia cut off the admin's concerns as she spoke. "We have sent someone to your server to grant you the magic you need. They shall help guide you, as well as keep you in contact with us. We shall watch. Go now, there's so much to prepare for."

"Hold on, stop—!" X pleaded, though his cries fell upon deaf ears. The pair of Watchers smiled at him with eyes dark and sinister, as Xisuma's vision began to blur.

There were so many questions he had, so many concerns, yet they all went unanswered as he blacked out.

[stromuprisahat]

Alina and the Darkling’s interactions, pt. 15

Siege and Storm- Chapter 3, continuation

More arguing, more denying for the sake of disagreement, more of degrading the “villain”...

“He can’t wait to get away from you.”

I’d beg to differ. Pretty sure he’s trying really hard not to kill you, Alina.

...the bright edge of the blade pressed to Mal’s throat. The man holding him wore a familiar sneer. Ivan. *** “Drink.” I open my eyes. Ivan’s scowling face comes into focus. “You do it,” he grumbles to someone. *** It was hard climbing with my hands in irons, and Ivan quickly lost patience. He hooked my wrists to haul me up the last few feet. *** Before I could begin to sort through them, Ivan appeared and began yanking me back across the main deck. “Slow down,” I protested, but he just gave another jerk on my sleeve. *** “Move,” Ivan ordered. I struggled to my knees. He nudged me with the toe of his boot... *** “She’s the Darkling’s prisoner,” said Ivan, “and a traitor.” *** “Bring her,” he called to Ivan. “Mal—” I began as Ivan grasped my arm. Mal lifted his bound hands, reaching for me. His fingers grazed mine briefly, then Ivan was hauling me back toward the hatch.

Ivan’s never been fond of Alina, he’s clearly far from excited about their quest to find her. He’s more likely to be afraid for the Darkling, than of him.

The Darkling doesn’t miss a chance for a little dig at one of Alina’s less desirable qualities. He’s also avoiding direct answer once again. Alina doesn’t mind, she’s happy to supply it herself.

Free from illusions? Free from dependency? Free from small mindedness? Free from what?

The Darkling plays tutor. Alina’s interested in possible harm, not education. Knowing future events, I can say it could’ve help her call his bluff at the end of Ruin and Rising.

The Darkling’s a beacon to volcra, but they don’t try to eat him? I’d be sceptical. We could explain their “attraction” with magic, but if we view them as carnivorous creatures, why would they scratch his face, but not take a chunk off?

They [volcra] were his creations, just like the thing that had buried its teeth in my shoulder.

Nichevo’ya are different “animals”. Volcra are mutated once-humans, nichevo’ya creatures torn from the Darkling’s own being.

Calling on merzost was painful, like a breath torn from his lungs, a moment of terror as his life was ripped away to form another. Creation. Abomination. But he was used to it by now.

...

“It’s not an experience I’d care to repeat. I’ve had my fill of the volcra’s mercy. And yours.”

Good thing Alina doesn’t consider the Darkling capable of human emotions, so she doesn’t have to think about how he had to feel, losing everything just a step before achieving his lives-long goal. How desperate he had to be to resort to merzost, standing in the result of his last failed attempt to control it.

Gods, how I wish he were done with Alina.

I love the contradiction between practicality about use of Alina’s powers and sort of belief Morozova’s amplifiers are akin to family heirloom, therefore she- his counterpart- should have them. Aleksander already is an amplifier himself, so who else should claim his grandfather’s creations? As (m)any beliefs it muddles his judgement when it comes to Alina’s future.

When one accusation doesn’t stick, try scholar pose... and then emotional manipulation.

We should read this as guilt over him blinding Baghra, but I’d suggest different interpretation:

The Darkling is centuries-old immortal, but the only person he’s had through all those years is his abusive mother. He understands she’s not supportive, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t long for her approval or affection. It’s irrational, but she’s the only person he belives won’t die on him and she’s still his MOTHER. He wants to be loved by her no matter how much she acts like anything but capable of that.

Perhaps he’d seen her betrayal sooner.

Alina reading willingly?! I don’t remember her doing anything for her own enjoyment. It’s either assignments or what her clique drags her to do.

Peasant propaganda? I’d love to read more about the Darkling’s experience in this particular field. 

This isn’t even Alina trying to persuade herself, she just says the opposite of what the Darkling does. Like a child trying to trump another in an argument. 

Equality should never be about lowering yourself to whichever level’s necessary.

Naturally, Alina isn’t willing to admit the Big Bad Darkling could feel anything, fortunately, the reader doesn’t have to be so biased. Is it only me, or does this sound like Aleksander’s speaking from experience? Like he has specific people on mind? We never learn much about his life, but even in books there are crumbs, painting life full of loss and tragedy.

His first soldiers were dead now. Lovers, allies, countless kings and queens. Only he continued on. Eternity took practice, and he’d had plenty of it. 

Alina never likes to hear unpleasant facts, especially criticism of her. What she loves is blaming others. Two chapters earlier, she hoped to never see Ravka again. Chapter later, she painted herself the saviour. Now, the Darkling’s the real villain once again.

Alina kept complaining about the exact same thing even before she was discovered to be Grisha.

I glanced at Mal. There had been a time when I could have told him anything.

...

“You know she’ll [Zoya] be staying at camp,” he said with a leer.

“I hear the Grisha tent’s as big as a cathedral,” added Dubrov.

“Lots of nice shadowy nooks,” said Mikhael, and actually waggled his brows.

Mal whooped. Without sparing me another glance, the three of them strode off, shouting and shoving one another.

...

Mal laughed. I hesitated by the door. This was the hardest part of being around him—other than the way he made my heart do clumsy acrobatics. I hated hiding how much the stupid things he did hurt me, but I hated the idea of him finding out even more. I thought about just turning around and going back inside. Instead, I swallowed my jealousy and sat down beside him.

...

When we’d first started our military service a year ago, Mal had visited me almost every night. But he hadn’t come by in months.

...

We’d spent more than ten years of our lives in Keramzin, but usually I got the impression that Mal wanted to forget everything about the place, maybe even me.

...

I wanted to believe that Mal and I would always be friends, but I had to face the fact that we were on different paths. Lying in the dark, waiting for sleep, I wondered if those paths would just keep taking us further and further apart, and if a day might come when we would be strangers to each other once again.

... that’s just the first chapter of the first book, but that’s okay, because Alina’s willing to ignore it as long as Malyen’s happy. See: Their time in Cofton.

Such a beautiful quote.

(So easily destroyed with few retcons...)

Yeah, it's probably how scared he is of the Darkling. Doesn't wanna come in unless he's ordered to...

I know Alina doesn’t think, but why would Ivan come when she calls? I’m sure he was overjoyed to hear her yell his name.

... aaaand back to dehumanizing the Darkling in attempt to make him less right.

I’d guess not clinging to someone, who hates your otherness might help to deal with that feeling, but that’s just me.

All previous parts.

[kinfriday]

Grim

As consciousness caught, I was warm and comfortable on my sleeping mat. Cocooned in my sleeping quilt, the world still felt far away.  

Still, it was time to get up, and get going. With a deep breath I threw off my quilt only for 26 degree air to hit me.  

“Oh dear Gods!” That certainly woke me up. Clutching my quilt, laying back down immediately, my eyes focused on the frozen condensation clinging to the top of my tent.  

What followed was a five minute pep up session.  

“You have to do this, It's resupply day. It’s not going to get any easier waiting here, just a few minutes of discomfort, then its oatmeal time and you’ll be rolling.”  

There was nothing to do, no way of getting rapidly warm, there was only facing and ultimately accepting the cold.  

This was what I signed up for hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Scorching hot days in the Mojave, then frigidly cold mornings in the High Sierras.  

The world did not care that we were heading into June, it still found cause to be freezing. 

Later on that morning, I’d lose feeling in my index finger and thumbs, and with that numbness, a loss of the ability to open and close them. It was miserable, my coldest day, no matter the gear I had, or the preparations I had made to be ready for those conditions.  

My circulation is poor, I’m deeply affected by the cold and that was just another reality to face.  

And how did the PCT end up for me? Did I ultimately make it to the Northern Terminus? 

I didn’t...  

Right at the Washington border, with about a month left to go, a severe injury took me off the trail and sidelined me for four months.  

Another goal missed, after countless work, countless dollars, and endless hours of effort.  

Life is often like that, I’ve found. When you have a goal, there’s two ways it can go, success or failure. Some people are great are finding success, other people are more like me and often on the struggle bus.  

No matter what though, failure is the base state, it’s the resting condition. Success is an active process, it must be perpetuated and maintained, which, in our world of entropy means that success will always degrade into failure.  

Seems grim doesn’t it? Eventually you will get too old, too hurt, too sick, too burnt out, and the routine will fly off the rails, destroying the heady idea that your current motion will carry you on through whatever challenge.  

Maybe it will, for a little while, but inevitably the cart will slow, come to a stop, and often roll back against the inevitable incline that you’ve encountered.  

We will all encounter these moments, and this is where many people will give up. It’s a natural result of the process. You get knocked down hard enough, or enough times, and it can entirely reshape your world and focus.  

I know this because I’ve been there many times, I’ve not just been knocked down, there have been moments where my entire world has burned to ashes, incinerating everything I ever thought I knew about myself, or the world before me, leaving me with nothing to do but start again.  

Eventually, at least in my case, there’s a question that begins to float like a demon in my head, one I’ve given far too much power too in the past.  

Why try at all? If it all ultimately comes to nothing, if I’m just going to fail, like I always fail, what’s the point in the effort? Relax, grab the pretzels, curl up in your chair and wait for the bus. Why do the work, when you can just coast. No ones going to blame you. Hell no one is even going to care much.  

Define nihilism, yet it’s an unavoidable point, isn’t it? Memento Mori.... I could be the most successful person on earth, hit every goal I’ve ever tried to achieve and still, at the end, there’s ol’ Death. They make no exceptions for champions or losers, coming for us all.  

But what was the reason for the goal? What was the point of the effort beyond reaching it? Something motivated me to try, to work hard, to set out from the Mexican border and go for it, even knowing that up to 60% don’t make it for whatever reason.  

Something motivates me to get back on that treadmill too, no matter how many times my knees or hips give out, sidelining me for a week or longer.  

Something keeps me coming back again and again, even though every routine I have eventually flies apart and burns before me and that’s what I call my “why.” 

The Why is what transcends success or failure, it’s greater than me, it’s the point of me. It’s the reason I am.  

It does not ultimately matter that injury took me off the trail, or that since I hit a peak in 2020, I haven’t been able to get anywhere near that peak again.... yet.  

Deep down, there’s a focus beyond myself, there’s a purpose, and we all have one.  

That’s our why, and that’s what you need to get back up, again and again when the world, or circumstance pushes you down, because it’s not tied to your emotions, your motivations, your passion, it’s tied to who you are.  

Nihilism can't touch it, because it is pure meaning, unassailable in the face of the abyss.

It is far better to live the life you want than the lie you are given, because to live the life you want, to chase that purpose, is to honor the core of who you are, and no matter how it goes, to chase that is a success that many will never find, no matter how you have failed, because that’s what it means to be real.  

[tarotlogy]

FOURS INTRO

THE KABBALISTIC TREE OF LIFE

On the Kabbalistic Tree of Life the Four Fours of The Minor Arcana reside in the – Fourth Sephira, Chesed (Mercy/Kindness/Love).  Energy moves away from its abstract state, becoming productive and enlivening. Chesed is the first of the lower seven Spehiroth. Its energy is regulating and stabilising, giving form and order. Chesed represents the organised action that takes all universal creation a step closer to manifestation. The previous three Sephiroth; Kether, Chokmah and Binah are connected to the Intellect; Conscious and Subconscious. Chesed contains the outpouring of energy from the supernal triad, assimilating its combined knowledge, providing the governing stability for God’s emanation as it comes into being.

CORRESPONDING MAJOR ARCANA

Corresponding Major Arcana –  The Emperor (IV).  The Emperor of The Major Arcana is the Masculine Counterpart to The Empress.  He is the Archetypal Father of the Tarot.  He provides the masculine balance to The Empress’ femininity. He brings with him order, control, stability, rules, discipline, strength, security and protection.  Considered oppressive and restrictive at times, he runs a tight ship and applies reason and logic to everything in life.

Death (XIII). The Death card of the Major Arcana may seem a strange correspondence but what links it to Four is its association with transition. Death moves us from one level to another and marks a rite of passage. It is a card of progress, ascension and destination. On the horizon two pillars mark the gateway from one life to another. In The Four of Wands, we find the structure of pillars in the garlanded entrance. It too suggests transition on many levels. This is the order of the universe. The Emperor and Death ensure its orderly continuity.

FOUR IN TAROT

Fours in the Minor Arcana generally refer to stability, security, consolidation and order. Four is a balancing number. Unlike Two that struggled with its polarity, Four is rock solid, has found its feet and has them firmly planted. There is a confidence about Four. Four is a hard-worker, applying great effort and dedication in achieving its goals, then protecting them. Being quite cautious and guarded, it is not as ambitious as Three, it’s aspirations become more realistic and practical. Four can be relied upon to stand firm and resist stress and pressure from external forces. It is committed to its path. Four brings a settling of energy after initiation and action. It brings the energy released in the Ace to its first major milestone, allowing it take form and structure.

Four does not represent a time for taking great action, but rather a time for building upon what you already have, strengthening your resources and laying down solid foundations for the future. Four is all about feeling stable and secure, both within and without.  Energy has reached a stage in its journey where it can take a break from striving and aspiring. It has achieved initial results in Three but now must safeguard them before seeking further glory. Four must check its progress so far and have something to show for it. Four grounds energy, allowing it to make contact with earth where it takes form and substance. Four brings a growing maturity and a developing sense of responsibility.

Four can represent the family unit. The masculine/feminine parents plus masculine/feminine offspring. There is now something tangible to work for.

Four is a practical and rational number. By adding another digit, it has forced the triangle out of its ever-climbing ascent, not forever, but for the moment. It provides the last cornerstone that is required for containing the energy released in the Ace, Two and Three. Energy has been ripping forward in the Three, without check or analysis. Four seeks to apply the brakes, to harnesses energy by reining in or corralling it. With a leash or tether, it seeks to bring energy under control where it can be observed and modified if necessary. Four applies a steadying force where energy becomes less dissipated as it solidifies and takes form. Energy stills for a while, allowing us to observe the beauty of its formation.

In numerology, Four is associated Earth.  With the energy of Four we can feel safe and secure.  Fours brings protection and defense into our life.  We build structures with four walls that provide shelter and security. Four is enduring and built to last. Four has a grounding effect which is extremely beneficial when life has been hectic or stressful.  Four helps us touch base.

REVERSED FOUR

The down side of Four is its restricting and limiting tendencies. Four walls can provide stability and security, but four walls can also create a prison-like environment where energy is not encouraged to move beyond.  Four in its negative aspect can be so grounding and safe, it leads to inaction, passivity and stagnation. Four prides itself on its lack of superficiality, but it can lack spontaneity and fun. Four can be downright boring after a while if it doesn’t lighten up. After the soaring energy of the Three, a negative Four may seek to clip its wings to bring it under control. Negative Four can get hung up on rules, regulations, endless planning, boundaries and parameters. Four walls are built to be strong to withstand much force, but in its negative state, such four walls may be rigid, unyielding and hard to scale.

Reversed Four can also weaken and lose its stability. Its walls lie in rubble on the ground, offering neither protection nor security. Four splits and becomes two two’s unsure of which one to work with, or which way to go. Its energy becomes chaotic and unreliable.

After the initial spark of inspiration in the Ace, decisions arrived at in the Two and action taken in the Three they must now begin to understand the meaning of their journey and be able to see patterns forming in their behaviour and actions.  They must check in to see how far they have progressed, and if they are happy with what they have achieved to date.  Order and structure must now be applied to any areas that appear chaotic or out of control.  They need to stabilise and re-group before any further action is taken.

The Four Suits set about this in their own way.  The Wands need to stop running around and settle into their new home or work environment, the Cups need to find emotional stability after all the celebrations and socialising,  the Swords, stressed and upset, take time out to let their mind settle and calm and the Pentacles with their first taste of success in the Three, turn as always to solidify their financial position by saving and investing.

They are not even half-way through their journey in the Minor Arcana at this stage and the road ahead will have many obstacles and upsets to throw at them.  Times will get tough and some may feel broken by their experiences or want to give up.  Therefore, time spent now in preparation for the journey ahead while recharging the batteries and stabilising should help them through any difficulties.

MULTIPLE FOURS

***If a large number of Fours fall close to each other in a reading, this may indicate life has become particularly stagnant, or choosing the safe and secure over risk and progress.  Personal growth and development will have ceased. Listlessness and boredom may set in.  Several Fours may find you taking a break for too long. You may become too settled. Moving forward could suggest a lot of work that may be off putting. However, lots of Four can suggest being very content with your lot with no need to seek more.  

A total absence of Fours in a reading can suggest a lack of balance and stability. Life may be chaotic or transient. It suggests loss of control, order and discipline. The ongoing absence of Fours in your readings could imply incomplete work or procrastination. You may not feel fulfilled or whole. You may be continually striving, but with zero results.

The presence of any Reversed Four will draw attention to the area of life represented by the governing Element and needs to be examined to determine whether it’s exerting a positive or negative effect. One Reversed Four may have little impact, but Two will likely imply underlying destabilising issues, or the need to get out of a rut.  Three or more Reversed Fours in a reading would suggest a period of instability and insecurity.  This may be welcome or not depending on circumstances involved. There may be a desire to escape from a situation that has become too stable and secure. You might want to reshuffle your life, experience further challenge, try out new things and push the boundaries. You could feel blocked, hemmed in by circumstances. You could feel claustrophobic, the four walls closing in on you. Reversed Fours tend to suggest upheaval in the area governing Elements present. If they are well spaced out, the situation is probably manageable, but if clustered together, instability may be quite upsetting, and sudden. You could lose your internal compass. The lack of stability may be caused by just one incident, but is having far-reaching consequences in all areas of life.

Now Click onto The Four (IV) of Wands, The Four (IV) of Cups, The Four (IV) of Swords and The Four (IV) of Pentacles in the Sub Menu where you will find their Descriptions, Meanings both Upright and Reversed along with all their relevant Keywords.

[yixingminseokjongdae]

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[i-cant-sing]

An Accident

Yeah... you may have seen this before, earlier this week when I accidentally posted it. Anyways, this is a part 2 of the Todoroki clan being obsessed with reader's hair. So, um enjoy.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Todoroki Clan:

Rei is obsessed with reader’s hair.

She’s taken such good care of it, and after years of hard work, your hair now reaches just around your butt. Your hair is healthy, thick, luscious, and cut into a smooth, U shape; of course all trims are done by Rei herself because she doesn't even trust professionals. And even though you’ve asked Rei on multiple occasions to cut it short, at least up to the middle of your back, she just wouldn’t, always saying that you’re being unreasonable. But you’re not; you’ve given her multiple valid reasons.

For example, Rei and Fuyumi do your hair themselves. And initially, they would let you choose whatever hairstyle you wanted, but now they pick one for you, saying they know which one will suit your outfit of the day better. Rei likes to do double buns, or ponytails tied with ribbons or just one high pony with a pretty big bow on the top of your head. Fuyumi on the other hand makes super intricate hairstyles, and while they look pretty, only you know how much pain your scalp is in. Fuyumi does your hair as if you’re her doll, yanking and twisting hard, saying that she needs to be this rough to achieve the distinctive braid patterns. Thankfully, Rei usually does your hair most of the time.

One of the main reasons you've begged Rei to let you cut your hair short is how much time she (and you) would safe. Since your hair is so long, it takes a lot of time for Rei to put in hair masks, serums, oils, etc. It takes even longer to wash and dry them out, and then style them as well. But she smiled oh so kindly, and told you that she doesn't mind. She looks forward to taking care of your hair, forcing you to sit between her legs for hours as she applies some expensive magic growth oil, ignoring how you didn't like this.

And even if your hair is curly naturally, like even 4C curly hair, Rei will have it straight as a stick in no time (don't bother telling her that you like it natural). But don't worry, its still quite voluminous.

Of course, Rei washes your hair herself, telling you that you’re simply not capable enough to manage it. (At least she lets you wash your body yourself.) And due to your hair being so long, it takes time to not only wash it, but also dry it. Rei will detangle using a wide tooth comb, starting from the bottom and working her way up. Then she’ll dry it with her cold breath, and if required, call Enji to dry your hair with his heat. You like it when Enji dries your hair, because he does it quickly and your hair becomes far smoother.

And its not just Rei and Fuyumi that are obsessed with your hair, the boys are just as fond of it as well. Enji likes to card his fingers through your hair while he’s working on some papers or listening to news, his warm hands always putting you to sleep in his lap. Its an adorable sight, gives him a sense of peace.

Shotou also likes to run his hands through your long hair, especially after a stressful day. The feeling of his fingers through your smooth, long locks, it calms him. And if he’s feeling extra stressed, then he might braid your hair loosely as well. He always wears a scrunchie on his wrist for you.

You wouldn't ever admit it, but you enjoy it when Natsuo played with your hair. Its like he can sense when you're having a headache. He'll have you sit on the floor while he takes a seat on your bed, and then his fingers will do their magic. He knows exactly where to put pressure on your scalp, and exactly how much force to use. His massages always relieve your migraines, and he always massages with expertise to ensure their is proper blood flow in your scalp.

While you are more than happy to let Natsuo touch your hair, you hate it when Dabi's around. If you didn't know better, you'd think he wants to rip your scalp off. He knows how much it annoys you, always pulling at your ponytails, tugging at your braids, even yanking it a few times when you ignore him. And you've complained to your family, but all of them say that "oh he's just playing around." Or "no, he just misses you. He's only teasing." And when you ask Dabi to stop it, he'll just smile and say "big brother privileges."

He's insufferable.

Everyone gets to play with your hair, but God forbid if you do. Oh no, apparently you'd "destroy it", as if you're not capable of managing your own hair. You're not allowed to open your ponytails because, quoting Rei, "you're yanking your hair. You're going to rip your follicles- baby, stop. Just let me do it." But you know that she does that because she wants to brush your hair with the soft, bristle brush before you go to bed. And somedays, Rei doesn't tie your hair in a bun or something, letting your hair fall, and it gets in your way, and even then you're still not allowed to put it up because "oh honey, your hair needs to breathe too. If you keep it in a pony, the band will leave a mark in it." Honestly, everyone finds it adorable when you're dressed in your little, fluffy skirt paired with a cozy oversized sweater, all mad and pouting, trying to blow the hair strands blocking your field of vision. Like a little baby.

While Rei looks at your hair and sees years of her hards work and patience, all you see is losing control over your own life. And you are. They decide everything for you, from the clothes you wear, the food you eat, and even things you should like and dislike. They choose when you should go out, what you should watch, when its time for bed. They disregard your opinions and feelings, and if you show that you're frustrated, then its means that you're just throwing a "tantrum", and you need to be put to bed like some cranky child. You've told them that they're too overbearing, but they always say that they just love you.

What kind of love is controlling?

They're so lost in their delusions, that they don't even see the deteriorating effects it has on you mentally.

Actually, one person did see them. Dabi.

He saw how much everything was overwhelming you, how you were near tears when they talked over you, made choices for you.

He felt a bit bad for you, just a tad. Mostly, he felt there was another opportunity to mess with you.

When Dabi came to bother you one night, tugging at your hair again, this time a bit harder than usual, he saw you were ready to cry. You didn't even bother saying anything to him anymore, just kept quiet and did your best not to cry. Of course, now he ridiculed you. Called you a little crybaby and used that annoying patronising tone with you. And just as he was about to leave, he said "if your hair bothers you so much, why don't you just cut it, you big baby?"

As if something had finally snapped in you, you let his words echo. Why don't I cut it? What's stopping me?

Was it because you had learned to just give in?

You didn't even realise you had walked to your bathroom until you were holding a pair of scissors. Which surprised you, because you weren't allowed to use scissors unsupervised. It was almost as if a sign from the universe motivating you to do it, and definitely not Dabi who left them on the sink.

Holding the pair of scissors in one hand and a chunk of your hair in the other, you hesitate for a second and wonder what will Rei do. But before you could stop yourself, you cut.

I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

You start low, maybe 2 inches above your hips. It looks okay, but maybe you could cut a little more. And a little more. And a little more. Before you know it, your hair is around shoulder length, in an uneven, chunky bob. Its not perfect, but somehow you feel much better. Like you’ve finally gotten some control back. Wiping your tears away, you ruffle your hair a bit, the cool air on your neck adding to the feeling of freedom. You feel normal, happier, peaceful. Things you haven't felt in years. And all because you had 3 am meltdown.

After you cleaned up the bathroom, you went back to bed, anxious how everyone will react in the morning. Maybe they won't care. You thought. Its only hair. My hair.

Everyone was waiting for you at breakfast the next morning, and to everyone’s surprise, Dabi had joined them as well. Rei was cooking up some eggs, while the kids chatted. Enji was suspicious of the mischievous glint in Dabi’s eyes, and it was filling him with unease. Just as he was about to question him, you walked in.

Everyone went silent.

Then Fuyumi let out an audible gasp, while Dabi chuckled darkly. Natsuo, Shotou and Enji looked at you with their mouths agape.

“Good morning.”you greeted them.

Rei, who was facing away from you, finally turned towards you. “Good mo-”Rei’s breath hitched, eyes blown wide, as the plate of bacon fell from her hands.

Its funny how everyone in the kitchen, including you, had the same thought at that moment.

What the fuck?

Taking a deep breath, you moved to sit in your usual spot between Fuyumi and Rei, but Shotou suddenly pulled you back and pushed you into the seat beside him. He knows his mother is in a better state mentally, but something tells him not to risk it. Fuyumi snapped next, quickly getting up and cleaning the mess on the floor while Enji pulled Rei, who was still staring at you in disbelief, to sit beside him. You remained indifferent to everyone’s stares, quietly eating your food. As soon as you were done, Shotou got up and quickly pulled you out of the room, Dabi following close behind.

They sat in your room as Shotou looked at your hair with worry. “Looking nice, doll.”Dabi chuckled as he plopped down on your bed beside you. “Thanks.” you mumbled. “Y/n how did- why did you- why did you cut your hair?” Shotou asked, still looking at your choppy hair. “Do you not like it?” you asked. “N-no I do. But what will mom say-” “Shotou, its my hair.” you snapped. “Yeah, Shotou.” Dabi mocked. Fuyumi and Natsuo soon joined you guys, worrisome looks on their faces. “Why did you cut it? Oh my god, do you even know how much trouble you’re in?” Fuyumi was freaking out. “Its my hair.” you rolled your eyes. They ignored you. “Okay, okay. Shotou why don't you stick around with Y/n for a couple of days? Fuyumi and dad will try to keep mom away from her.” Before Fuyumi could nod, you stood up. “No.”

Natsuo looked at you confused. “what do you mean “no”?”

“I mean no. I don't need Shotou to babysit me. I can handle myself.” Fuyumi walked towards you, reaching her hands for you but you backed away, “Y/n, sweetie-” You cut her off ,“Stop treating me like a child.”

Shotou spoke this time, “Its for your protection-” “Protection from who? Our mother? Why?”your words dared them to say the truth. To agree that Rei was unstable. They didn't say anything.

A few days had passed by and things were returning to normal. Almost normal. Rei still had this thousand yard stare when she looked at you, but she never said anything. Cutting your hair was the best decision you had made, because not is it only easy to manage, but it also got the family off your back. Rei doesn't wash your hair anymore(although you think she's just not over the shock), Fuyumi doesn't need to do your hair, they dry faster, and all of your brothers (including Dabi) doesn't mess around with them anymore. Enji was the first to adjust to your new cut, he even complimented you one day.

Did you feel guilty because you know how attached Rei was to your hair? A bit, but then realised that you needed this. You need some control over your life, and if this is how they react to your new cut, then maybe you could start taking back reigns over other aspects of your life as well.

You thought that maybe Rei had finally gotten over it a week later, when you were laying in the bathtub, enjoying the hot bath. When you heard her walk in, you were a bit startled. Why was she here- is she finally over it? "Um- hey." She smiled at you. "Why are you here?" She took the bath stool and sat behind the tub. "You know why." She replied and started rolling her sleeves up. Is she here to wash my hair? "Oh, are you here to wash my hair? I don't need help with that anymore now that they're short." Rei smiled again, this one looking forced, before dipping her hand in the tub. "No, silly." And with that, Rei froze the entire the tub in 2 seconds. The ice trapped your limbs, and reached up to your clavicle. The sudden change from hot to cold had you jolt, but you couldn't move due to the frozen ice. "Mom-!" You heard the buzzing sound of a trimmer and then felt Rei entangle her fingers in your hair to yank your head back. "I'm here to complete your haircut." You tried moving your head but her grip on your scalp was unrelenting. She started trimming the right side of your head, moving it slowly as to get every single hair. "Honestly, you should've come to me. I do agree that it'd be a good idea to start again." Tears fell from your eyes, your teeth chattered and you could feel your heart beat slow down as the cold seeped into your bones. "M-mom, I'm col-d. P-please s-stop..." Rei was done with one half of your head. "You know, I read somewhere that your grows thicker if you cut it. I'm sure that after I've shaved your head, your hair will grow even fuller. I've already gotten some new oils and hair masks! Maybe we could do them together." You couldn't hear anything besides the slowing of your own heart beating. Your breath had started to become shallow, you couldn't think about anything except for how painful ice could be. Your lips were turning blue, eyes were getting clouded with black spots, all sensation from your body was losing. Just before you lost consciousness, you heard the bathroom door open and a panicked yell.

You felt warm.

When you came to, your entire body felt warm and weighted, probably due to the heavy blanket spread on you.

Opening your eyes, you found yourself in a dimly lit room. It was...your parents room. Why am I here? You turned your head to look around but your eyes stopped at the large figure sitting on a chair next to your bed.

"Dad?"

The figure's head snapped towards yours. "You're awake." He paused. "How- how are you feeling?" You moved the blanket off you, your body felt dense and ached. "Warm and...sore. What happened? Why am I in your bedroom?" Enji shifted in his seat. "I think its best if you stay here from now on, so that... your mother and I can look after you." Your eyes widened. "What? Why?" You moved to sit up but then a pain shot through your head. "Ah shit." You hissed in pain as you went to massage your temples but your hands halted at the feeling of your hair... or lack there of. You tried to run a finger through your choppy bob cut, but all you felt was your shaved head. Your eyes met Enji's, looking at him in disbelief as you recalled the events that had led up to this. "Darling-" You jumped off the bed and ran towards the vanity mirror, praying that this is just a nightmare. But as you looked at your reflection, you realised that this was the terrifying reality you were living in.

Tears dripped from your eyes as you took in your appearance. Trimmed- no, shaved pink hair. You couldn't see a single bit of hair above the roots, only a baby pink scalp. She had not only trimmed your hair first but then also proceeded to shave your scalp off. Your head looked like it had peach fuzz.

You couldn't bring yourself to look away, not even when Enji placed a hand on your shoulder. "Y/n-" He didn't even what to say. He was still in shock from what would've happened if Fuyumi hadn't yelled for him when Rei was-

Enji shook his head. Now's not the time. You're here and you're fine. You're fine. Enji pulled you towards him, burying your face in his chest as you cried. "You're fine." He repeated, more to himself than to you. "Why- why would she do this?" Your voice was muffled by his chest but he understood. He understood your pain and it tore him apart that he still wouldn't be able to help you.

Enji honestly didn't know what to tell you. He didn't know what words would bring you comfort. "It... it was an accident." His chest rumbled as he spoke. You pushed yourself away from him as you looked at him perplexed.

"What?" Your eyebrows raised, nostrils flared and blood rushed to your face. You were going to blow up.

"An accident? Is that what you said? Oh okay. Was it an accident when she froze the fucking tub? Did the trimmer accidentally fall from her hands to my head?! Oh and did she accidentally pull the razor over my head?!" Angry tears fell from your eyes but you were far too enraged to care.

Enji opened his mouth to say something but he was cut off by the sound of the bedroom door opening. Turning around you saw her.

Rei was standing there with a tray of food and water. Her face turned to shock before turning to happiness. She set the tray on a nearby table before she rushed towards you, her hands reaching for your face.

"Angel, you're awake-" you pushed her hands away roughly as you backed away from her.

"Dont you dare touch me."

The couple, they had never heard your voice such hostility. It wasn't like you. Rei shook her head as she tried to reach for you again, taking another step in your direction. But you smacked her hands away again. "I said don't touch me!" Your yelling had got your siblings to rush in the room, wanting to see what the commotion was about.

Rei's eyes shifted from you to Enji, looking at him for help, before they returned back to you. She took a deep breath before speaking. "Y/n, darling. What's wrong?" You scoffed at her soft tone that tried to quell the storm of negative emotions bubbling inside you. "What's wrong? What's wrong? I don't know, you tell me, Rei. Why the fuck am I bald?!" Your head was pounding with rage, raw unbridled anger.

When Rei didn't say anything, Fuyumi stepped forward to help her out. "Y/n its-"

"Shut up."

Fuyumi's- everyone's eyes widened. Of everyone, you never even rose your voice at your favourite sibling. But to hear your voice turn so cold towards her, it shocked everyone. "Y-Y/n-" she tried again but you cut her off. "I said shut up. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Rei and she'll answer for herself."

Enji placed a hand on your shoulder, pulling you back slightly. "Have some respect. She's your mother-" You yanked your shoulder away from his grip. "No, she's not!" You inhaled deeply, trying to stabilise your voice. "No, she's not. You're not my dad. I'm not a part of this family. And I'm so sick of playing this game."

Dabi's eyes narrowed. "Stop being an ungrateful brat. You've been given all the luxuries one could only imagine, spoiled to no end-" You laughed. "Did I ask for anything?" "You never had t-" "And all these luxuries that you're talking about, I didn't get them for free. I had to give up a lot. No, wait-" you laughed again, tears blurring your vision. "I didn't give up anything. You all took it. Yeah, all of you snatched everything away from me. My family, my friends, my privacy, my sanity, everything. And you-" you moved towards Rei, pointing a finger at her. "You have been the most greedy one of them all."

Rei's jaw fell open, as she shook her head. "No-" You shook your head.

"Yes! I gave you everything. I let you dress me up in those god awful clothes, feed me whatever you wanted, stick to your side like glue because you don't like it when I was out of your sight for a more than a few minutes. For fucks sake, I didn't even go to college this year because you weren't ready to see me become an adult!" You ran a frustrated hand through your hair. "I played into your sick little fantasy. I let you treat me like a child, talk to me like I'm some helpless baby. I let you touch me even though it disgusted me to no end. I never even complained when you gave me ice burns because I was throwing a tantrum." You looked at the rest of your family, and they were shocked to hear that last bit. You smiled cruelly at them. "Yeah, you didn't know that did you?"

Rei was crying herself by now, as she reached out for you once again but you moved away. "I let you have everything. All I wanted was this little bit of freedom, for my own sanity. But you couldn't stomach that could you?" Your head hung low, your tears hitting the floor.

"Why do you have to be so selfish?"

Your voice held so much pain and defeat. Rei couldn't help but engulf you in her arms, wrapping herself around you tightly before you could even protest. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She cried out. "I- I promise I'll fix this! Yes. I-I've already gotten you some new hair oils! They say that they'll help you grow 6 inches in a month! Oh and Natsuo also brought some stuff for hair growth! Some vitamins and- Natsuo whats that spray called? Minoxy? Mi-minoxidil! Yes! He said that'll help you grow your hair in no time! Doesn't that sound nice? You'll have long hair like before!" Rei pushed back to look at you. You couldn't believe it.

"Are you- are you really that delusional?" Your voice was so soft, almost like you would break any moment now. "Are you so blind to see what you're doing to me?" Your eyes held so much pain and confusion. "Sweetie, don't worry- mommy will take such good care-" You pushed Rei away from you, your anger rolling back in full speed. "YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" You shrieked. "Y/n-" Shotou tried to interject. "I'm not a part of your fucking family."

Enji stepped towards you. "Calm down."

You looked at him. "You said that what happened was an accident. What will you do if another one happens? And you're not around this time to save me? Hmm? What will you do? Continue playing house with my dead body?!"

Rei's sobs shook her body. "Shut up. Think before you say stupid shit like that." Dabi spoke this time, moving to stand between you and his mother. "Or what? You're going to hurt me? More the reason why all of you, but especially you-" you pointed at Rei "deserve to be in that nuthouse-!"

You were on the floor before you could even process what had happened. Had you- had you fallen? But when the searing pain of the burn on your cheek came alive and you looked at his hand that had erupted in blue flames, you realised what had happened.

Dabi slapped you.

"Y/n!"

Your cheek felt like someone had placed a hot iron on it, the sting spreading to your entire cheek, but you were far too shocked to care about the pain.

Dabi slapped me.

Shotou, Natsuo and Fuyumi quickly rushed to your side, picking you up and out of the room, while Dabi stood there in stunned as his own hand throbbed. The image of his handprint branded on your scared face wasn't going to leave his mind anytime soon.

Enji hesitated, looking at his wife and son in disbelief, before leaving the room to look for you.

Rei walked towards Dabi and smacked his arm. "What did you do?!" She yelled at him. He opened his mouth to explain but nothing came out.

"She's your little sister, Touya! W-why would you do that?!" Rei scolded him.

He hurt you. Like Enji hurt Rei.

He hurt you.

Rei sighed before closing her eyes and engulfing Dabi in her arms. "Its okay. Its not your fault." She rubbed his back soothingly. "It was an accident, wasn't it?"

Dabi wrapped his arms around his mother, burying his face in her neck, before nodding.

"Yes. It was an accident."

So... how was it?

[venusiangguk]

hand-picked | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader / famous!jk x sex worker!oc

>>genre: strangers to lovers, smut, pwp, teaser, drabble

>>word count: 2.8k

>>warnings: glory hole au!!!, cocky jk, bad boy jk, stripper oc, sex work, sexual tension, awkward tension, hand job, blowjob, cumshot, cum on tits, pay for play, semi-anonymous sex, dirty talk, dishonesty...  that’s it i think zzz

>>notes: if u don’t like sex workers ur ugly and i hate u 😌 also ty to @wheresmymoniat​ for betaing n helping me out, ily <3 *repost bc tag issues don’t mind me 🙄*

>>summary: glory holes weren’t a real thing... at least until you’re on your knees for a stranger, cock in your face, with nothing but a curtain between you.

Despite your nerves, you grasp the semi-hard cock in front of you, attached to a nameless person behind the curtain. For a moment you wonder what the hell you’re doing, but the soft sigh that you hear brings you back to the present. You stroke up and down, watching as he starts to become fully aroused. The foreskin rolls over the pink tip on every upstroke. You bite your lip. The silence is awkward, but you think maybe the whole situation is.

 “So... what do you do? Like… not specifically of course, but are you an idol? An actor? You can be vague…” 

 Behind the curtain, Jeongguk, whom you don’t know the identity of, stiffens just a bit. Will his voice give him away? Maybe, but he was never one to turn down an opportunity to boast about himself and his achievements.

 “I’ve done it all,” His voice is airy, softer than he would like, but your hand on his cock is speeding up, and so is his breathing. “I’m good at all of it too.”

 You hum at the man’s response. Cocky. “Isn’t saying you’re good at a lot of things just another way of saying you’re not good enough at one thing? So you have to compensate by spreading yourself thin?” You gasp a small giggle when you feel the cock in your hand jump a little at your words. “Did you like that? It wasn’t meant to be degrading, but if that’s what you’re into-“

 “It’s not- that.” He doesn’t know if he’s denying your psychoanalyzation, or your keen interpretation of the way his cock reacted to your psychoanalyzation but one was more inaccurate than the other. He actually was great at most everything he did, no need to overcompensate like you assumed. 

 Your small hand tightens, and you rub your thumb at the underside of the head, you let out a small pleased noise when you see a bead of precum well at the tip. “Really? You’re starting to leak a little.”

 You sound amused and humorous and if Jeongguk had it in him he would be annoyed or even upset at the way you’re talking to him. You were basically hired help, a means to an end. He glances down his torso at his hard cock in your tiny, well-kept manicured hands. Your nails are a dark red, burgundy color. It complements your skin well, he thinks. He can’t see much of you, just your forearms, along with the bottom part of your tummy and your legs. You’re sitting on your knees between his spread out thighs, feet tucked under you. From the tight black leggings you’re wearing and the slim-fit long sleeve white crop top you have on, Jeongguk can tell you have a good figure. Your waist is tapered in, tiny and cinched, and your hips are wide enough to accentuate it, letting him know you’ve got a petite hourglass frame. You aren’t too skinny though, there’s a softness to your body that he likes. It’s not like he needed the tight fitting clothes to know what your body looked like, though. He’s already seen more of it than he is right now. His mind flashes to the club.

 You may be hired help, but you were hand-picked by him. 

 “It’s just-“ He contemplates what to tell you and settles for, “It’s been a while.”

 “Since?” You push. You hear footsteps outside and you hand stops, scared for some reason that you’ll get caught doing something bad. As if the door wasn’t locked and being guarded. Behind the black curtain, his hips lift just barely, urging you to keep going. Don’t stop.

 “Since someone’s helped me.” Jeongguk’s head rolls back when your hand starts moving again. It’s been at least a few months since he’s gotten off with someone, his hand being his only companion. After the situation blew up even more than it had in months prior, his leash was tight. No wiggle room at all. He was suffocating and desperate. He almost cried when his team propositioned this arrangement, embarrassing as it was.

 When he speaks, his voice is soft and everything is said with a sigh. He sounds so relieved, like it feels so good to be in your palm, like he’s been waiting for your hand on his cock forever. You blush, and right your thoughts. You don’t even know who he is or what he looks like. Still, you ask, “Does it feel good, do you like it?” Tone soft to match his.

 Jeongguk nods and swallows thickly. Eyes still closed, letting the pleasure slowly work its way through his veins. Then he remembers you can’t see him. “Yeah.” He breathes.

 You hum and keep up your ministrations. Not slow, but not fast either. You’re not quite sure what he likes yet, but the soft moans that flutter through the curtain at least let you know what you’re doing isn’t wrong. 

 “I like your hands,” He surprises you by saying. “They’re so small; soft,” A more vocal sound falls from his lips when you twist your hand on the upstroke. He’s chuckling when he says, “Kinda strokes my ego a little bit.”

 You glance at the cock in your hand. It’s pretty. Thick and pink. A pleasant kind of heavy in your hand. The veins running over it are subtle enough to not be ugly or intimidating. The only intimidating thing about it is the size. He’s big. And you’re sure he already knows that. 

 You snort. “I don’t think you need that stroked.”

 This makes him laugh a little harder. It’s a nice sound. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” He hums, you think you can hear a smile in his voice. It’s quiet again for just a moment before he says, “Will you- faster? Make your hand a little tighter too- yeah, like that.”

 His hips sink into the chair when you comply with his requests before he’s bringing them back up, subtly thrusting into your palm. You fight back a moan; you shouldn’t be getting hot for someone you don’t even know right? This was strictly business. Still, you can’t help the slight shifting you do, squeezing your legs together for a little bit of pressure on your pussy.

 Jeongguk notices. “Are you turned on?”

 “No!” You squeak.

 “You can touch yourself,” He offers.

 “No!” You insist, “I-I’m fine.Thank you though.” You say dumbly.

 He doesn’t say anything more, focuses on your hand on him, tugging just how he asked. His hand rubs over his stomach, flexing as he teases himself, his own light touches mixed with your strokes brings goosebumps over his skin. “Feels, so good.” He groans, eyes watching your hand under the curtain.

 Encouraged, you bring your other hand up and massage lightly at his balls. They’re hairless, the only hair he has is the small trimmed patch above the base of his cock. He’s well kept and has good hygiene. That alone was attractive to you, stranger or not.

 When you palm his balls, his legs spread as far as they can with his black cargo pants still around his calves, his big black stomper boots keeping them from being shed all the way. “Fuck,” He moans deep and loud for you. One of his hands comes down past the curtain and reaches for you before he quickly pulls it back. You think you saw a flash of ink on it, but you can’t be too sure, mind kind of fuzzy with poorly hidden arousal. The opposite hand comes into view, and your mouth parts in awe as he covers your own hand with his. It’s so much bigger than yours, completely enveloping it as he strokes himself off, using you in a way. Then again the whole arrangement was you both using each other. 

 “You’re mouth- put your mouth on it,” He sighs, pleasure just dripping from his lips. His cock is rock hard in both your hands, and you can tell he’s getting close.

 You hesitate. “Will… will you be able to see me?”

 Jeongguk comes out of his desire induced high a little bit and realizes what he said. He wants it, fuck does he want your mouth, but he probably should have asked. “No, no. I’ll lower the curtain a bit more if you want, and you don’t have to swallow. You don’t even have to suck it if you don’t want- like I know we have a thing going on but I would never like- force you I-“

 He’s rambling a tad so you cut him off. “I want to, I think,” You whisper, taking in his intimidating size again, “I just- if I can’t know who you are, you can’t know who I am.” You blush feeling a little childish.

 Jeongguk keeps the fact that he already knows what you look like and more or less who you are, at least on a surface level, to himself as he moves the curtain to the next lower notch, the bar resting just above his pelvis now. He can’t really see much of you at all anymore. “That’s fair, yeah, just-“ With your confirmation that you do in fact want to suck him off, he can’t keep the lustful neediness out of his voice, “Please.”

 You take a deep breath as you wrap both of your hands around his cock, the tip still poking out the top. Tentatively you lick at his frenulum and the sound that comes from behind the curtain is obscene. His hips twitch and everything. You want to hear his noises, all of them, so you do it again. You flick your tongue fast over the most sensitive underpart of the head, before placing wet sucking kisses to the same area, almost making out with the tip of his cock.

 “Oh my god-“ His body is pulled taut, and his hands are gripping the chair that he’s sitting in. “Fuck that’s- I love that.” He says, head dropping back, mouth open in a silent moan. 

 You moan against the tip of his cock, not able to hold yourself back anymore. Wrapping your lips around it, you take the head all the way into your wet, hot mouth, and suck. You lap up all the precum that leaked out, and point your tongue to play with the slit. The man behind the curtain is loud for you, letting you know just how good you’re making him feel. You get so lost in it that you don’t register him raising the curtain bar just enough for him to slip his hand past and push you off.

 “S-sorry,” He says, panting, “I was about to cum.”

 You make a small sound of confusion. “That’s okay, I can swallow- If you want me to.”

 Jeongguk shakes his head behind the curtain. “No, I- I wanna watch… see your hands stroke me off.” His request is quiet but his cock pulses in your hand, needy and hot. Already begging for release, despite you not being at it for that long.

 Wordlessly, you start stroking again, gathering the spit that’s on his tip to make the slide easier. It doesn’t take much time at all before his thighs are flexing and you can see the lower part of his abs tensing. 

 “Close,” He whispers.

 Jeongguk watches as your tiny hands fly up and down his cock, grip tight just like he showed you. He’s doing his best to not fuck up into your hands, wanting to just rely on you and your movements, but it’s hard. Small eager little thrusts of his hips show you how ruined he is. And it’s just a handjob. He knows. If he was present enough he would probably be embarrassed by how angry and red his cock is, swollen and hot in your palm. And he’s just so wet, leaking all over the place making the strokes of your hand loud in the room. 

 He watches as you hunch over some, to where he can see everything below your neck, and your free hand comes up to your shirt. He sees you struggle a little bit as do your best to get the collar down under your bra, with only one hand before squeezing at your tits. “Do you want to cum on them?” You whisper.

 “Fuck, please.” He whines high pitch and needy, all reservations out the window. 

 You hum, and work your arm faster over his cock, the rapid movements making your tits jiggle. “Do it, cum for me… cum all over my tits.”

 You can’t see him, but Jeongguk’s face is lewd. Pleasure so apparent on his features, it almost looks painful. His eyebrows are furrowed, his mouth open, his cheeks flushed, and his eyes are wet and glassy, so overwhelmed by finally getting help after so long of cumming by himself. He’s chanting soft, pornographic yeah’s and yes’s until his whole body curls in on itself, you can see the way his legs tremble as he moans, “Fuck, I’m cumming.”

 He forces himself to keep his eyes somewhat open, lidded and heavy with arousal, as he shoots all over your chest. You’re moaning with him behind the curtain as you work him through his orgasm, despite no physical pleasure being given to you, and that makes another small shot of cum dribble from his spent cock. You lean forward, careful of your identity, and wipe the leftover milky substance on your already soiled skin and black bra. You slap the slowly softening cock on them for good measure and Jeongguk groans.

 You keep playing with his cock, not sure if he’s the type to like it or the kind that wants you off right after he finishes, but he winces and reaches his hand under after not too long, stopping you.

 “Please,” He whines.

 His voice is fucked out, and your pussy aches, needy and wet in your panties. “Oh, sorry…”

 He laughs lightly. “No, no. Don’t say sorry… You’re like- so good.” Jeongguk sighs to himself out of your view. He’s leaning back in the chair, while running a hand through his sweaty hair. Little tremors of pleasure are still coursing through him, when he closes his eyes, blissed out, dazed and relaxed. Finally, after months of being pent up. “So, so good.” He murmurs softly, distractedly. 

 His hand that reached under the bar to grab yours to stop you, is lazily rubbing over the back of your hand, hold light and subconscious against his thigh. He probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it and you blush, shyly pulling your hand away. He doesn’t show any sign of even noticing and you both settle into a soft quiet, only your breaths sounding in the room.

 “Um.” You say eloquently.

 “Fuck sorry.” Jeongguk says, scooting the chair back to put his now soft cock away. He rolls his eyes to himself. Way to get stuck in the afterglow by himself with his flaccid cock in some girls face. “Let me get you a towel.”

 “Should I put the blindfold back on?” You ask.

 “Uh- Yeah.” He says stilted. This is weird. You just made him cum so hard he almost knocked out, and now he’s making you cover your eyes so you don’t figure out who he is. 

 You hear the hesitation in the man’s voice and assure him that it’s okay, while grabbing the blindfold you tucked into the waistband of your leggings. You knew how it went, you signed the papers. Patiently you wait until you hear him coming back and sense a soft moist towel being shoved under the bar. You blindly grab it with a soft, “Thanks.”

 “I’ll go wait in the bathroom so you can- I don’t know…? Get ready to go I guess.” You hear his heavy boots retreat to the bathroom, that’s located on his side of the curtain, assuring that he wouldn’t be seeing you on his way.

 With the blindfold off, you go about cleaning yourself. Your knees crack when you stand up after being sat on them for so long. Wincing, you run a hand through your long hair and walk over to the table where you left your bag. You leave the used rag in its place and you shoulder the purse. About to make your way to the door, you pause.

 “I’m uh- leaving?” You yell unsure.

 “Okay,” He yells back through the door. “Did you- did they- your- did they give you the-“ He stutters, not sure how to ask if you got paid.

 The wad of cash in your purse is heavy. Figuratively and literally. “Yeah, they did.” 

 “Okay… Good. I’ll um see you next time?” He sounds hesitant and shy. 

 You laugh. “Yeah I guess so.” And with that, you make your way out of the hotel, thinking that he sounds a whole lot less entitled and cocky than he did when you first got there.

~~~

hiii guysss! thanks for reading this lil drabble! This is kind of like a teaser for a longer fic i have on the back burner (let me know if you like the concept and want me to continue!) but i wanted to post something because i havent for a few weeks bc i have been soo busy with school pls i want to cry 🥲 i should be doing maths as i post this lmao. ANYWAY! thanks again for reading, if u liked it, pls like, comment, reblog, or even send an ask! love talking to u guys n feedback is always lovely <3

[glorified-red]

Could I request hcs for subtle ways the boys express their protectiveness?

Thank you for the request my love! I got to play a fun little game of ‘Eenie Meenie Miney Mo’ for which request to do.

Protective BatBoys

word count: 1600~

warnings: insinuation of someone getting hit by a car, mentions of attackers

I was quite tempted to write Bruce headcanons to this but I must hold back ><

Dick Grayson

Ah, Dick Grayson, the King of small romantic protective gestures

Every time, without fail, Dick will wait until he watches you get inside your house safely before driving/walking away

Its a really cute tick of his because he covers it up with a goodbye kiss and goofy waves that leave you giggling even after you close your house door

But its so he knows where you are, and he can see for himself that you made it safely inside because the second he turns away too soon, you may get locked out, or someone can crawl out from the bushes and nab you

Paranoid, he knows

He constantly wraps you up in things, when you two go swimming he’ll patter up from behind you and place a towel around your shoulders, patting you dry along the way

Very insignificant gesture but he doesn't want you to catch a cold in the A/C or Gotham wind

He’ll do the same with his jackets, maybe even plop his hat on your head when it's gets to the snowy seasons 1. Because its adorable seeing the hat fall into your eyes and 2. Because it'll warm your head up

Scarves too, he’ll even go on a tangent about how cold it is outside while he wraps you in it

Dick will always offer to drive you places, even if you insist on driving yourself to meet up with him or walking there, Dick will still offer because it means he’ll be present if you get into a wreck, sucks but then he can help with first aid

If you decline his offer though, he’ll politely ask for you to take Titus or Ace with you whenever you walk somewhere, they’re trained and he trusts them to keep you company/safe when he can't 

Jason Todd

Jason’s protectiveness comes from a place of knowing how cruel the world actually is

He can't stand the idea of anything happening to you

If he has to, he will use his reputation of Red Hood as a way to keep you safe, putting a man at gun point and sneering out, “They’re off. Limits.”

He’d bust a whole trafficking ring if it meant ending a person who touched you or hurt you in any way

But Jason’s protectiveness doesn't stop while he's wearing the helmet

Even when you two are sleeping, Jasons unconsciously protecting you, no matter how you two cuddle, Jason always positions himself as closest to the bedroom door

Whether his back is to the door or he’s facing it, Jason needs the comfort of knowing any person coming into the room would have to get through him before even reaching you

He also envelopes you, he's a big guy so its pretty easy for him to wrap you up in his arms as an extra layer of protection from the outside world

Jason doesn't really like the idea of training you past basic combat or gun skills, hell, he doesn't like involving you in the family business if he doesn't have to

So he inserts himself into any situation you may need protection in

Which is exactly why he starts going to the gym with you as a work out buddy

Jason makes it sound like he just wants to spend time with you or help you achieve your goals faster since he knows how the body works from his Robin days

But deep down you both know his true intentions: he wants to keep an eye on you

The gym is crawling with creeps that have the guts to ogle at you or get too touchy, but having Jason’s 6 foot beefcake of an ass standing beside you the entire time is like an instant creep repellent

Plus, he gets to spot you and make sure you don't get injured from bad technique or from pushing yourself too hard

He’ll even encourage you with innuendos the entire time, but at the end of the day, he’ll gladly walk you home

Tim Drake

Tim is the most subtle about his inner protectiveness, a subtle King if you will

Most times when he gets protective, you never even notice

When you two cuddle in your house, it takes him a very long time to actively fall asleep because he doesn't trust your home security system if you even have one so he forces himself to stay awake just incase anything happens

But don't worry, he’ll eventually get to updating the security in your house

He does get these protective eyes whenever something is off when he's around you, they narrow a bit and latch onto whatever is off, glaring holes into the offending object until its all clear

Its quite terrifying to witness and very hard to miss when Tim is staring dead at the man speaking to you from across the room at a Gala, sipping his drink in the corner

If he feels the need, he will walk up and control the situation, whether it mean inserting himself into the convo or simply being present for it, he’ll do it

The thing with Tim though, is when he's protective, he’s almost always touching you in some way

His fingers playing idly with the ends of your hair as he speaks to a random person who walked up to you, clinging to your shirt/sleeves when he’s analyzing a situation and doesn't want you to go forward just yet, or even as simple as holding your hand as he leads you home

Tim also keeps small snacks/waters on hand at all times to protect you from Gotham heat and pesky hunger, very much like a mother hen because he also carries a first aid kit everywhere

He follows you whenever you walk alone around Gotham at night, he’s already on patrol so he might as well make sure you make it home safe, if anything happens he won't think twice about intervening as RR

If your going out somewhere alone he always always always asks you to call him until you make it to your destination, he doesn't care if he's working on something or in the middle of a board meeting, he has an assistant for a reason who can give him notes

Its become a normal thing for you to send him your Uber tracking link so he can watch it, if you don't send it he won't hesitate to hack into your account just to find it

Damian Wayne

Damian? Wayne? Being subtle?

Its usually pretty obvious when Damian gets protective over you

He’s the type who won't hesitate to pull out a knife out of god knows where and threaten whatever is responsible for you being uncomfortable

This leads to very interesting encounters of you having to hold him back because ‘oh no a random guy bumped into you and didn't apologize’ and suddenly Damian is missing 

He’s also incredibly blunt, saying things like “Cover your drink” at galas or handing you one of those hand held tasers before you go out and saying “Go for the neck”

Will insist on training you himself, whether its hand-to-hand combat or with a sword, Damian wants to keep track of your progress himself so he can make sure all your weaknesses are trained

Its also because he doesn't want his grimy brothers near you, so its protective on all counts

But subtlety? Theres a few you can notice after being with him for awhile

He’s very careful when going out around Gotham with you, Damian knows he can fend for himself so he will gladly take the brunt of any possible situation

This leads to him always walking on whichever side of you thats closest to the road, so on the off chance a car derails, he’ll get hit first

Always making sure to match your pace when you two walk together, he doesn't want you getting too far ahead of him because he'd have to run to get to you, too far behind and he might not notice you getting taken silently, he wants you right in arms reach at all times

He has a permanent scowl and narrowed eyes but when he's protective, they get even more prominent

Bonus

All the BatBoys do the same exact thing out of instinct when it comes to protecting you

None of them will hesitate to step in between you and any attacker, pulling you behind them so they are in the line of fire now

Its a subtle action that each of them do, albeit with some differences

Damian will push the attacker back as far as he can from you, putting plenty of distance between the two of them and you, so if anything breaks out, you can run away easily

Dick will hold his arms out, fully covering you but keeping his hands in the fray so if the attacker tries attacking you from any angle, Dick is ready to protect

Tim will grip onto you somehow, keeping his hand right on your bicep or forearm so he can still hold you, he doesn't know if there can be a hidden attacker from behind that will pry you away from him, so touching you is his way of making sure he doesn't lose track of you

Jason will slip in front of you and cross his arms, its a sign of nonchalance but obvious dominance, showcasing that he doesn't need his hands to be intimidating to the attacker, he’ll glare and challenge them so all attention is on him now and not you

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@bungunz

@red-hood-redemption​

[dabifixation]

the importance of knocking

dabi x fem!reader

summary: When Dabi told you to wait at the bar because he was going to "Take care of things" you shouldn't have humored him. You shouldn't have gotten drunk on a mission. And most of all you shouldn't have ignored your gut feeling by looking for the blue flame user and discovering exactly what he meant by taking care of things.

warnings: nsfw, smut, voyeurism, unprotected sex, squirting, MINORS DNI

word count: 2.4k

~

You really didn't like villains. They were temperamental bigots who were hard to work with and cared very little about their environment.

Blue eyed, flame wielding, two-toned nuisances were not the exception to this.

If anything, having Dabi tag along on your mission didn't really help with your dwindling impression of the man.

Said mission was going downhill very fast, losing your chance to achieve funds from your organization's formidable benefactors, all because somebody thought it was funny to set Mr Park's hair on fire after the man passed a comment on somebody's unprofessional attire.

You hated him for that. Truly hated him. However you knew he wasn't just messing up your mission for his own amusement. You weren't stupid, you knew a field test when you saw one. This mission was set up to see how well you'd do now that the Meta Liberation Army was under siege from the League of Villains. Dabi was your examiner.

And you failed the test.

So it came as a surprise to you when the bane of your existence suggested that he'd take care of things, which made you wonder if he was a comedian in his past life cause what could he possibly do to fix things.

You spent the next hour by yourself with an endless supply of whisky in hopes of coming up with a good plan in order to leave Japan undetected.

When the next hour passed by you began to wonder where your flame wielding partner went and how long he'd be. You were convinced that he was just hunting down one of the benefactor's and stole their suitcase filled with money. But you doubt killing someone took a full two hours, so you began to worry.

Not for him of course. That would be out of character for you. You were just worried about disappointing Shigaraki by coming empty handed and not on time. At the end of the day, you were a sucker for praise and didn't mind getting it from someone who ruined the goals and reputation of the Meta Liberation Army.

You had a serious problem.

Checking your wristwatch one last time, you decided now was a good time to phone Dabi. Snickering to yourself when you saw his contact was saved under 'If Menstruational Pain Was A Person'. You clicked on his contact, hoping he wouldn't be those annoying people who answered after the fifth ring on purpose.

He wasn't.

"Whoever this is, it better be important. I'm in the middle of something." He sounded slightly out of breath, and from the soft rustling of something in the background you could tell he wasn't in any danger. It made you sigh in relief.

"Where the fuck are you?"

"Oh it's you. Miss me already?" You didn't need to see him smirking on the other end, cause you knew he was.

You ignored his question, "Where are you?"

There was pause that lasted long enough for you to hear a muffled cry in the background and an unknown squelching sound. You didn't take him for someone that tortured his victims.

You learn new things everyday.

"Room 3406." You heard a groan this time, making you frown. Why was he dragging his torture session out so long, the least he could do was put the poor person out of their misery and take their money.

Wait.

"You're still in the hotel. You damn asshole I thought you were dead in a ditch!" You raised your voice, not caring that people passing by gave you concerning looks.

"Didn't realize you cared so much about little old me." He let out a sound crossed between surprise and a laugh, which caught you off guard.

He hung up before you could give a response.

That was weird.

You looked down at your naked arms, noticing the goosebumps.

Yeah, very weird.

❦

It didn't take you long to find the hotel room, thanking your lucky stars when you found out the room was unlocked and didn't require a key card.

Once you entered the room, you glanced around noticing that nothing was out of place or broken. There was no signs of struggle, which was a good thing. It made cleaning up easier.

Your eyes landed on a pair of familiar boots placed adjacent to a pair of red bottom heels that were laying on its side.

You picked the heel up, examining it to see if there was any blood on it. There wasn't.

That's strange.

"Uhnnnggg~"

Your head snapped in the direction of the main bedroom when you heard the sounds of someone whimpering in pain. The warning bells in your head grew louder when you decided to check out what was going on.

The bedroom door was slightly ajar but not enough for you to see what was on the other side. You heard a deep groan as your fingers brushed the doorframe, your heart in your throat at what you'd find. So you pushed forward expecting everything but what was in front of you.

You didn't dare move.

There Dabi was, hands gripping tightly on some woman's hips. The muscle in his arms flexing, and his legs out stretched beneath her. Her hands were buried in his obsidian locks as he set the pace for her, bouncing her up and down his cock. Each time he brought her down, she'd let out a R-rated moan. She swiveled her hips as best as she could, but from the way her thighs trembled from the pleasure, you could tell it was too much for her.

Dabi's eyes were shut in bliss, letting out a breathy moan when she opted for grounding on his cock instead. From her quick movements, you could tell she was close.

"Yes, yes, yes –oh fuck!"

Dabi immediately flipped her over, preventing her from reaching her climax. His heavy cock slapped against his abdomen, smearing moisture against his defined stomach. You quickly looked away, focusing on the woman instead.

It immediately clicked in. You knew who she was.

Yui Murukami, the 34 year old heiress and CEO to the company that supplied our friends in capes with support items. She was a rich and powerful woman known throughout Japan, and one of the benefactor's that pulled out their sponsorship after finding out that the Meta Liberation Army was infiltrated with "heretics."

The same heretic that's narrow hips she currently had her long milky legs wrapped around.

What a hypocrite.

You got a good look at Dabi for the first time tonight. Your eyes traveled down his lean form. What he lacked in muscle, he made up for in flexibility. The position he was in was a testimony to that.

The subtle red hair trailing down towards his impressive length caught your attention. So he was a natural redhead? That or he had some weird hobby of dyeing his pubes.

It made you shudder.

He pumped at his veiny cock, gathering the pre-come dripping from the pink and angry head, and used it to lubricate himself further. The golden piercings keeping his two skin types together stretched as he did so.

You thanked whatever God was out there for Dabi not noticing you. They surely had your back. Now was the perfect time to escape. Dabi was clearly lost in the throes of pleasure. But just as you stepped back, the floor beneath your feet decided now was a good time to announce your presence.

Dabi's eyes immediately snapped open in your direction.

Those ocean blues stared at you intensely without a hint of shame. You were frozen in place as you held his heated gaze, eyes falling to his lips when his tongue jotted out to lick them. It had you entranced and you almost missed the way his lips broke out into a full grin when he knew exactly what position he had you in.

Hook, line and sinker.

He was taunting you, waiting on you to storm out of this room in embarrassment and anger. Dabi was a sick individual who'd take any and every opportunity to test you and your loyalty to the Paranormal Liberation Front. If you walked out now, despite how badly you really wanted to, that would be the same as failing. You weren't about to fail twice in one night.

He raised an eyebrow when you didn't barge at his challenge. Shrugging, he guided his cock back inside the woman with a soft sigh. He broke eye contact first, looking down at where their bodies joined and bottomed out into her. She let out a ridiculously high-pitched moan.

He kept her thighs far apart as he continued his ministrations despite knowing you were watching.

Your face was hot as you clenched your fists tightly.

Slapping and squelching sounds filled the room as their movements picked up. The air growing heavy with the smell of sex. Dabi was rutting into her in a way that had her breasts bouncing in a particular rhythm.

There was something so enticing about the way she pushed herself back onto him every time he gave short deep thrusts. She clawed at his chest, trying to push him away but he wasn't having it. Instead he drove into her faster and more ruthlessly as a warning.

This moment was too intimate and private, but you couldn't bring yourself to look away either.

It was intoxicating.

Suddenly a long keening sound left her lips, hands digging into the once pristine sheets, almost tearing them apart. Dabi hit a special spot inside of her that neither of you could see.

Heat rushed to your belly in an all too familiar feeling.

He continued hitting that spot, her body violently shaking and writhing. The way his hips were angled, it brushed against the little button at the top of her mound perfectly.

That was the last straw.

She came so hard, no doubt clamping tightly around his cock. Causing him to throw his head back in eye rolling pleasure with a deep throaty groan. His movements began to filter in order to prolong the feeling, but he quickly regained his composure and picked up where he left off. Triggering her into squirting all over his abdomen. Not once, twice but thrice.

His abdomen glistened with her juices and his added sweat. The way his hair fell into his eyes and clung to his neck had your heart skipping a beat.

"Does this make you feel good?" He asked her as his hips bucked up. Voice deep, too deep.

Fuck yes.

She responded in a tired moan.

"I could have you like this underneath me every night if you just–" he snapped his hips into hers to accentuate his point, "–begged nicely."

Jesus.

She continued to mewl, clawing into the sheets as she neared her second orgasm.

"All you got to —fuck— say is please and I'll be scratching every itch inside of you that those fingers can't reach." He toppled over her, dropping both hands on either side of the her head.

"Uh huh." She let out, eyes squeezed shut in concentration.

"I don't like being ignored." He looked at you this time, making you jolt. One of his hands reached out to grip around her throat, making her gasp as he controlled her airway.

When she responded in a broken moan, he ignored her and kept his eyes focused on you instead. He narrowed his eyes, something dark flashing in them before he looked back down at her. A deep growl in his throat.

Oh.

He was talking to you the entire time.

You rubbed your thighs together to ease the aching between your legs.

It didn't go by unnoticed, as much as you hoped. Dabi gave you a look that made him seem so vulnerable at that moment. All his walls came crashing down and for once you could read his facial expression. He desperately wanted you to be the one underneath him.

"Touch yourself." He commanded, hips bucking in urgency.

He was close.

Yui was long forgotten as it felt like it was just the two of you in the room. You did as he said, ignoring the voice in your head that was calling you a 'fucking idiot.'

You unzipped your pants, enough to give him a view of the shape of your pussy and the increasing wet patch at the center of your lace panties. You pushed your hand into your pants, while the other bunched your shirt up. The moment your fingers brushed against your drenched folds through your panties, you closed your eyes and let out a silent moan. Everything felt hypersensitive. You didn't care that this wasn't enough to send you over the edge, all you cared about was imagining it was him touching you like this, rubbing your clit in tight circles as he fucked you into next week.

"Fuck." He let out after a long time of being silent. "Good girl, just like that–"

A loud groan ripped out of his throat before he could finish his rambling.

Not too long and the rhythm Dabi started with began to stutter when his hips bucked up irregularly. The woman underneath him putting on a whole performance but he continued to ignore her in favor of you.

He gave you a needy look as he gave one last sloppy thrust, waves of pleasure being sent to your pussy.

Dabi let out a moan that was so guttural and so deep as he came inside of her wishing it was you instead. He chased his high in quick juvenile thrusts, making sure every last drop was emptied inside of her.

His hips continued to twitch from his intense climax, a pained hiss leaving his lips. The oversensitivity finally catching up to him.

He gave her a slow open mouthed kiss after they regained their breaths. Pulling his softening cock out of her with a wet pop. He nuzzled his face into her neck, causing her to giggle and hug his form closer to hers. And he allowed it.

He looked back up at you, an indescribable look passing through his eyes. It was quickly gone as it had come, being replaced by a smirk and knowing wink that said everything you needed to know.

Bastard

Dabi was an incredible actor and you were just another one of his victims.

You left just as Dabi started getting hard again, obviously he could go for another round, a round you wanted no part in witnessing.

You weren't going to be used by him again in order for him to find a quick release. To hell with him and his twisted version of testing someone's loyalty. You felt utterly humiliated and dirty. All you wanted was to go back to the PLF hideout and crawl into your bed and forget this all happened.

How could you be so stupid. He had this all planned out from the start. No wonder he was so quick to help you when the mission started going downhill.

You hated him so much.

You wanted to scream when you realized he told you the room number on purpose despite being in the middle of that. He wanted you come up and catch him in the act, and that's why he had no problem in you watching him do those things to her. He wanted to see what you'd do in that situation. This was all one big joke to him.

Yet you couldn't understand why you were still so horny and soaking wet.

[tsunderedoctor]

okay hehehehehe

so I'm in need of comfort bc college is ass and I just want to lie in the arms of some massive man while I do my homework BUT THATS IRRELEVANT.

Could I request Crocodile, Shanks and Aokiji (if you only want to do one its alright) with an s/o (fem pronouns) who overworks herself a lot to achieve her life goals? But at the same time gets very stressed very easily and takes critique very harshly :((((

I get pretty easily overwhelmed with work but I just can't stop bc idk anxiety or something

Tysm baby!!! Sorry if its bad and tell me if you don't want to write something :) have a great day and remember I'm so proud of you 💖💖

Ace!! I am so sorry for the wait on this, don't hate me😭😭 But I hope things are going better for you, and know I love you and will always support you!! Remember, you are amazing! Even in our most tiring times! 💖💖

Babes Below~!

Sir Crocodile

He watched her from the corner of his eye, as he took another sip from his wine glass, she had been staring at that god-awful book long enough, he began to wonder if she was in some trance. Finally giving the woman his full attention, he cleared his throat, breaking her from her thoughts and looking up at him in confusion. 

Raising his hand, he ushered her to come see him, getting up off the office chair felt relieving in its own right as she made her way to stand before him.

“You know, work isn’t quality if you aren’t giving it your all, take a break, we can worry about that another time, it won’t do you or I any good if you can’t concentrate.”

Sighing, feeling defeated by his words and her emotional turmoil, he eyed her one last time before grabbing her wrist and sitting him next to him. 

“A break doesn’t mean nitpicking yourself, either. Stop thinking those thoughts before I give you something to actually worry about.”

Deciding it must be his attempt of comfort, she nodded and leaned back in the cushion of his loveseat, perhaps a break is really all she needs.

“Red Hair” Shanks

Relaxation surprisingly ran in the ginger’s veins, catnaps were a usual must, along with sun bathing and other self-care fortes. He was always surprised in how much work she put into things, but figured it was an issue he had as a laid back individual, not her for being a hard worker.

Walking into her office was always a quiet ordeal, she was either reading manuscripts or writing something down, today however, he had found the woman fast asleep at her desk. 

Looking at the work presented on her desk, he skimmed it a bit, before nodding and grabbing a pen. He decided since he was the usual one to relax, maybe it was time she did as well, besides what could go wrong with giving it a try!

it was apparently a bad idea in of itself, as you woke up with a stressed Shanks staring at the paper, finally turning to you with tears in his eyes from frustration.

“How do you do this everyday?”

Admiral “Aokiji” Kuzan

Kuzan is another more laid back individual, unlike Shanks however, he knows when enough is enough. He tore the pages from her hands and placed the on top of the filing cabinets, far away she couldn’t reach them without any help. 

Hearing her ask for it back and slowly becoming annoyed with him ignoring her, she tried getting it herself. He watched her struggle for a bit, before picking her up and putting her on the bed. 

“Relax, will you? It will be there tomorrow, it won’t kill you to take a single break, you haven’t even eaten yet today.”

Listening to his words, she had realized he was right, her stomach growling in agreement. Ignoring her embarrassed blush, he had her promise him she would stay put while he made her some food, maybe after a meal she would start thinking properly again.

Tag List: @chloe-nanami @musical-apple @luxiditea @macdonaldsmanager @onepieceya @undercoverweeeb @pebbsie @athenaportgas @nephytale and whoever else wants to join in!

[irrlicht-writes]

of Rex Lapis and a young boy

“Do you love her?” “What do you want me to say?”

Say yes. Say yes so I can tell myself to stop. If you love her still, then there is no way that there’s place for me in you. Say yes so I can stop thinking, stop pretending. Say yes so I know that you don’t care for me. Say yes so that I know, once and for all, that mortals and gods are not supposed to be next to each other. Say yes so I can try to forget that you are my friend. Say yes so I can forget that you are my only friend. Say yes so I can slap myself and laugh and make a joke about how stupid I am. Say yes so I know that anytime you looked at me, you didn’t look at me at all. Say yes so I know that I’ll never be curious or kind enough. Say yes, so that I know I never mattered at all. | Zhongli would never love him. Zhongli could only love things that were long past, and Childe walked ever toward the future.

Ao3

*

Azhdaha.

Zhongli-xiansheng and the Traveller had left the Harbour for a while to go look at some stones – or something, Childe didn’t ask – and now they’ve returned.

It had stung, just a little bit, when he realised Xiansheng had just dumped him for their meal but that was okay. That was perfectly, absolutely fine. He hadn’t sat there for hours upon end, waiting for him and then heading to the Funeral Parlour just to learn that Zhongli had left the Harbour entirely. That was cool. It wasn’t like they told each other everything, right?

It’s not like Zhongli knew everything Childe was up to in Liyue.

But now they were back, sitting at the Storyteller’s. Zhongli-xiansheng looked great, even. Like he hadn’t missed Childe at all. Yeah. That was cool. Perfectly cool.

He wasn’t even interested in rocks, so no wonder they didn’t ask him to come along. Yeah. Right.

Zhongli told him about Azhdaha in a quiet tone, and Childe knew he wasn’t getting the whole story. The Traveller sat beside them, silent as ever. It was cool. Childe got the picture. He wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t as dumb as they thought him to be. Childe had heard that tone in Zhongli’s voice many times. For some reason, that tone had always struck him, but he had never been sure why.

He thought he knew, now.

It sounded like Zhongli was talking about something incredibly dear to him.

Not long after, Zhongli left, the Traveller close behind. They barely said good-bye and Childe smiled at them. He was acutely aware of the fact that they left without paying their tab. Yeah. That was fine, he’d just cover it.

“Storyteller,” he requested as he ordered himself the strongest drink this bar had, “can you tell me of Rex Lapis and the Mountain-Dragon?”

And so the Storyteller did.

*

The next day, Childe ventured into Nantianmen. He had seen the tree there before, but had thought little of it. Now, it was different. This is where Azhdaha had been sealed away, right beneath his feet. Zhongli’s friend.

Zhongli’s lover, even.

Back then, hearing about the Goddess of Dust had felt weird, like a mortal Zhongli pining for a Goddess dead way before his time. Now, after everything, it made more sense. When he talked about Azhdaha, Zhongli-xiansheng had the same look in his eyes. A soft, far-away look in his eyes that had always made Childe feel small and unimportant. Which was why, whenever he’d catch that look, he’d crack a joke, or point out a merchant stall.

He stepped closer to the tree and put his hand on the bark.

Did Zhongli come here, to be close to his old friend?

Zhongli never came to him, just to get him.

Always, it had been a matter Childe would have to settle with Mora somehow.

Had he ever been Zhongli’s friend, at all?

“What makes you so special?”

The tree, and the dragon hereby-under, don’t answer.

“Zhongli-xiansheng is rather busy, I apologise.”

To her credit, the Ferry lady did actually look sorry. It did little to stifle Childe’s mood, but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He wondered, idly, why it’s always him that reached out to Zhongli. Why was he the one clinging to a God that lied to him?

Well, maybe he was stupid after all.

He smiled at the Ferry lady and left her. He didn’t tell her to inform Zhongli that he’d been here. Somehow, he doubted that Zhongli would care either way. He pretended it didn’t hurt something in his chest, and returned to Northland Bank.

At least Ekaterina and the others there were forced to care about him. Oh, the luxury of being a Harbinger.

*

Despite him talking about her all the time, Childe knew next to nothing about Guizhong. There also wasn’t that much to find in books. Despite what people might think, Childe actually was a vivid reader. Granted, it tended to be adventure stories, not dry history, but he could expand.

But she had been Morax’ best friend.

And while the dry history books didn’t say it outright, it was clear as day: they all suspected the two to have been lovers in some capacity. The all-powerful Morax, and the sweet, gentle-hearted Guizhong. The perfect pair, even. He was strong where she was weak, and she was wise where he was not.

Childe wasn’t a romantic where it counted, but even he could see the potential in writing stories about a couple like that.

And she died, leaving Rex Lapis behind.

Childe looked out the window.

To be fair, he wasn’t sure why he read about Guizhong in the first place. What was he hoping to achieve? All the books he consumed about Rex Lapis have had a clear goal in mind: stealing the God’s Gnosis.

Not that that had worked, but semantics. Maybe Childe just wasn’t meant to steal someone’s heart.

He went to Guili Plains the next chance he got. He wasn’t sure why, but this place had been named after Guizhong and Zhongli. For all its historic worth, it look desolate. Rationally, Childe knew that a war has taken place here, but still, he had expected more, somehow. He had expected Rex Lapis to try and restore this place that he and his lost lover shared.

He was also a bit disappointed that there were no Glaze Lilies here. The books hadn’t shut up about Guizhong and Glaze Lilies. So much in fact that Childe had had his doubts on whether or not she’d really been the Goddess of Dust or Glaze Lilies.

He wondered what kind of man Zhongli would be today if Guizhong had not died. What kind of man he’d be if he hadn’t needed to seal the dragon away.

If that had been the case, then he probably wouldn’t have cared about Childe at all.

The hole in his chest hurt and he didn’t like it.

With his past dead, Zhongli’s eyes would glance across Childe.

If they had been alive, he wouldn’t have looked at Childe at all.

Wanting to stop, he killed the abyss mages.

*

There were Glaze Lilies blooming in the Harbour. He’s heard that they were cultured there artificially, because they were dying out. Zhongli must hate that fact. But that also meant that Childe of all people would probably not be able to actually approach the stupid flowers.

It had been days since they’ve last met, and Zhongli hadn’t come to him.

Childe felt like a broken tool. He wondered how long it would take him to get used to that feeling.

He wanted to see the flowers, so he snuck out at night. He knew there were some blooming behind the house on the Terrace, so he hoped he wouldn’t be spotted by the Millelith. It’d be hard to explain himself to Lady Ningguang for this, so he’d rather not.

Childe climbed the wall easily and quietly and sure enough, there they were – two Glaze Lilies, blooming under the moonlight. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Did he want to pick them to present them to Zhongli? Probably not.

He reached out with one finger, gently touching one of the petals. Somehow, he was afraid they’d wilt under his touch and die. But nothing happened. Childe sighed and lied down beside the flowers. The sky was clear and bright. When he closed his eyes, he could hear a soft humming in his ears and it filled him with longing for... something. Not a fight, not a victory, not even a loss, just – something. Something he couldn’t have.

“How did you do it?” He asked the flowers.

How did you make Zhongli fall in love with you? How did you make him look at you proper? How did you make him see you? How do you put that tone in his voice and how do you put that look in his eyes?

Childe sighed.

The flowers didn’t respond.

He thought of Azhdaha, who had looked upon the world with curiosity and had learned to love it through Morax.

He thought of Guizhong, who had looked upon her people with endless kindness and had taught Rex Lapis to do the same.

He was neither curious nor kind.

No wonder that Zhongli didn’t care to look at him.

*

Why had the Tsaritsa sent him here? Why couldn’t he have been in on the plan? He could’ve caused a havoc even knowing where Morax was. Why couldn’t he have taken the Gnosis after a done deed? Why did it have to be Signora?

He was Her Majesty’s vanguard, was he not?

Didn’t she think him capable enough?

Why couldn’t Signora have wrecked the city?

Why him?

Was he really only good for front-line mayhem, and nothing else?

The God he had spent so much time with hadn’t even looked at him when he handed his heart away.

The God Childe had believed to be his friend.

He had no friends, now.

Childe put his report away and left the Bank.

It was late, and everything in him yearned for his home.

His home, where his parents would watch him with wary eyes.

Maybe he shouldn’t have come back, when he’d fallen.

When will he hurt Tonia? When will he take Anthon and Teucer, and turn them into monsters too? When will he reveal that our son has never come back at all? How long will this facade last?

He would smile at them, and pretend he didn’t know. He’d pretend that these months had never happened and that they still loved him unconditionally.

He reached the pier and sat down. He wanted to go fishing again.

The water gently dipped at the stone and Childe sighed. He wondered, did Morax laugh at him? Each time Childe had thought he’d been sleek, getting more information from Zhongli, had the God laughed at his ignorance?

But Zhongli had seemed so content, so willing to answer all of Childe’s questions.

It’s an important part of Liyuean’s cuisine, Childe. Please use the chopsticks.

Had Morax been making fun of him?

He’d never hear the end of it, back home in Snezhnaya. He could already hear Scaramouche’s snicker in his ear.

His mark had been right there next to him, ever-correcting the Harbinger’s grip on the chopsticks, and Childe had never known.

A one-way tool of war was probably the best thing he could ever be.

He could neither be curious or kind.

How would a guy like him ever gain the affection of the divine?

“You cannot sleep?”

Childe didn’t turn around.

What did it matter, anyway?

Zhongli sat down beside him with a small sound, reminding Childe how old this man truly was. He’d been a fool. How could Zhongli ever be his friend, with all their differences?

“Tell me a story.”

“What do you want to hear?”

Childe was silent for a moment.

Tell me how I can make you look at me. How can I be kind, or curious enough for you to gain your affection? Tell me how I can make myself significant to you. Tell me how I can be a friend that you’ll remember. Tell me, please. Tell me how to be important to you.

“I don’t know.”

Childe was staring at the water down below. Zhongli’s contract was fulfilled. There was nothing more they had to talk about. Why did Zhongli even acknowledge him? He should’ve just kept walking.

“You have gone to Guili Plains.”

“...yes.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to see,” Childe replied in a hushed voice.

Truth was, he didn’t know. Maybe he had expected the ghost of Guizhong to descend upon him and tell him everything he’d need to know. A stupid, childish thought. She hadn’t come, and his questions have been left unanswered. A god would never descend for him, anyway.

“What did you find?”

“Nothing,” Childe said. “Why didn’t you restore the Plains?”

“Why would I?”

“Because of Guizhong.”

“It’s the place I lost her in. It is difficult to go there, even after all these centuries.”

What did it feel like, making such an impact on an immortal being?

Every time he returned home, he ventured out into the woods again. Some part of him wanted to find the crack in the earth again, where he lost himself and found himself at the same time. Maybe he also hoped he’d find a little Ajax lost in the woods. He didn’t know.

“Do you love her?”

“What do you want me to say?”

Say yes. Say yes so I can tell myself to stop. If you love her still, then there is no way that there’s place for me in you. Say yes so I can stop thinking, stop pretending. Say yes so I know that you don’t care for me. Say yes so that I know, once and for all, that mortals and gods are not supposed to be next to each other. Say yes so I can try to forget that you are my friend. Say yes so I can forget that you are my only friend. Say yes so I can slap myself and laugh and make a joke about how stupid I am. Say yes so I know that anytime you looked at me, you didn’t look at me at all. Say yes so I know that I’ll never be curious or kind enough.

Say yes, so that I know I never mattered at all.

“...say yes, then.”

Childe didn’t remember when he drew his legs in and hugged his knees. He felt smaller and younger than he had in years. Skirk would kill him for this position but she’d never know.

“You’re in pain,” Zhongli said instead and Childe almost wanted to laugh.

“No,” he responded, “I haven’t been in a fight in days.”

“Not all pain is physical, Childe.”

What did he care? Childe wished he’d stop. It was these sorts of talks that put Childe in this situation. If Zhongli would just stop pretending he cared, it’d be all so much easier.

“Kun Jun gave this to me,” Zhongli said and held out his hand, a pretty rock upon it.

For the first time, Childe turned his head. It was a pretty thing, he thought.

“Kun Jun?”

“One aspect of Azhdaha.”

Ah. Yes, the other lost lover. Childe tensed his jaw. Why was Zhongli showing this to him? Was he mocking Childe?

Look, all these pretty things you bought me, and still I value the rock my old lover gave to me more.

There it was again, the pang in his chest. Zhongli never carried around the things he made Childe buy. And now here he was, carrying around some rocks this Kun Jun picked up from the ground?

“It’s pretty,” Childe said then. He didn’t know what else to say and Zhongli clearly cherished this rock.

Mora couldn’t buy someone’s affection. It could buy him any favour he’d ever wanted, but he could never buy genuine feelings. Their friendship had been a farce from the start. Zhongli had used him, just like Her Majesty and Signora had used him.

“It was good, seeing him again,” Zhongli sat, gently holding the stone in his hand. “But it hurt, as well, knowing I’d have to seal him away once more.”

“I’m sorry,” Childe said and he wanted to take the rock and throw it in the ocean.

He bought Zhongli so many things, and he valued none of them. For all he knew, Zhongli had thrown them aside the second Childe had turned his back. He’d never be important enough to Zhongli, so why did he even try? Why did he ever bother? He had wanted to invite Zhongli to his home, to meet his family. He had wanted to show his parents that he was still good, still their son, and that he made a genuine friend.

He couldn’t do that now. At best, Zhongli was a former business associate. Not his friend. Never his friend.

Zhongli didn’t say anything and Childe suspected he was deep in memories. He wanted to stand up and leave but he couldn’t.

“Liyue Harbour exists today because of Guizhong,” he said then and Childe curled up in himself. Just rub it in. How would Childe ever compete?

A curious dragon with pretty eyes and pretty rocks, and a gentle soul of a Goddess with beautiful, humming flowers next to her, an entire city dedicated to her?

What was he against them?

A reckless, arrogant toy soldier. The only thing he was good at was fighting and even then, Morax would be able to beat him blind-folded.

“Without her, I would have never been able to appreciate humans. To me, they were barely a duty, a responsibility, not something worthy of love. But she walked among them, empathised with them and through her and for her, I was able to do the same.”

Childe was a human. But he wasn’t part of the humans Zhongli spoke about. He wished he could take that part out of himself; the part that made his chest hurt. He’d rather endure the pain of his transformation.

“When she died, I was devastated and I wrecked havoc on my enemies. They had killed the gentlest soul I would ever know and they did not deserve mercy for it. But I knew, I knew that that wasn’t what she’d want. She’d want me to protect our people, to become the leader she never got the chance to be. So I taught them to build houses, I taught them to make stoves. And these days, I believe she would be proud of what I achieved.”

He was saying yes, and it hurt. Everything Zhongli had done had been for her. But maybe – maybe that was a good thing. He could let go now, right? He knew know, he had audible confirmation that Zhongli would never look at him, would never care for him. He wasn’t good enough. Nobody would ever build a city for him.

He had to go. He had to leave. He couldn’t see Zhongli again. His feet itched, but he couldn’t move. Zhongli would never love him. Zhongli could only love things that were long past, and Childe walked ever toward the future.

“Why are there no Glaze Lilies in Guili Plains?”

“They are a delicate flower, and Guili Plains turning desolate was too much for them to handle. But if you want to get poetic, then Guizhong’s demise surely had something to do with it.”

Childe wondered. If he died, would – would something wither for him? The seashells he was so fond of, would they crack?

“You miss her.”

“Yes.”

Will you miss me is a question left unasked.

Childe took a deep breath. He would fill the gaping hole inside his chest with blood and glory.

“I have something for you.”

Childe blinked. He didn’t remember buying something. He looked over to Zhongli, who held a sword out to him.

“I have been meaning to give it to you for a while but ah, things got in the way.”

Childe reached for the handle and held the sword up against the moonlight. The blade was green. He’d never seen a weapon like that before.

“I crafted it myself long ago. The blade is cut from the purest jade. I made it for a friend, but sadly, they never got to use it.”

“I...” Childe didn’t know what to say. He didn’t use a sword much these days, but he could appreciate good craftsmanship. And really, he could never have enough weapons.

“Thank you,” was what he settled on and Zhongli smiled at him.

“You wished to hear a story,” Rex Lapis said and Childe nodded, holding his new gift close.

“Once, a long time ago, Rex Lapis encountered a boy. The boy would never learn to fear the God he met and instead, would always smile brightly at him. Some might say the boy was ignorant of who he met, but Rex Lapis greatly enjoyed the company of the boy, unburdened by the past. It’s the tale of Rex Lapis, a god feared for his wrath, and a young boy with kind eyes and a gentle soul, ever ready to overtake the world and unafraid to walk in front of a god he ought to fear.

Once, a long time ago, Rex Lapis encountered a young boy who showed him the light of the sun again.”

Perhaps this was alright. Maybe Rex Lapis would always be stuck in the past and Childe would always walk ahead into the future. As Childe listened to Rex Lapis tell him an ancient tale, he fell asleep next to his friend Zhongli, a green sword tightly hugged to his chest.

He dreamed of a field full of flowers and a god and a boy, holding hands, walking towards the gentle brushing of the sea at the shore.

[ko-riacchi]

Live Stream

Pairing: Shigaraki x F!Reader Genre: Smut, Angst Length: 4,3k

WARNINGS: NONCON! 

Thank you to @cultbabyyy who read through it as soon as I was done  And thank you to @kazooli whose fics made me realize that I can write whatever the fuck I want

(Inspired by Yagami Yato’s Shigaraki Pt.3 audio)

Tomura was a man-child. Which meant that when he had a new toy, he couldn’t help himself but to rub it in other people’s faces that he had something that they – in fact – no longer had.

 The room was dimly lit, most of the light coming from the computer screen and the various sources of blue light stemming from the computer tower, mouse and keyboard.

Tomura sat in his computer chair, arms possessively wrapped around your form and you wriggled and squirmed in his grip, trying to get loose.

“Now, now,” Tomura rasped into your ear. “Don’t struggle too much. You wouldn’t want any accidents to happen, now would you?”

Your face scrunched up and you bit your lip, knowing exactly what Tomura could do to you – even accidentally – and you stilled in his grasp.

 His right hand left your figure now that you were placated and grabbed the computer mouse, the sound of it clicking reverberating through the otherwise quiet room.

You weren’t particularly interested in whatever he was doing on his computer, so you let your eyes wander through the room. You needed to find a way to get out of this situation, this room and especially this dangerous hold that he had over you.

You knew that the first two were comparatively easy to achieve, once you had successfully managed to pull off the latter one. After all, you hadn’t managed to become a pro hero without learning a skill or two.

But your offensive quirk just wasn’t suited to squirm free of his grasp without potentially getting disintegrated should all of his five fingers touch your body. Usually, you were quite content with your abilities but right now you couldn’t help but curse yourself for not being born with a quirk more similar to the one of your old teacher, Eraserhead.

Your gaze continued to examine the room, trying to find anything at all that could help you in your predicament. But mostly, the shelves were littered with games upon games, accompanied by the corresponding console. Behind you, a bed stood in the corner of the room, the sheets thrown on it carelessly. While those may not be able to aid you in your initial quest to rid yourself of his dangerous hands, you would be able to use them to cut off his vision once you had gotten free – even if it was just for a second.

 Your thought process was interrupted by Tomura, whose hand slid back to your body, grasping your hip in his hand while making sure that his pinky was lifted as to not accidentally kill you.

“Now we just have to wait for a few more minutes and the show can get started,” he said, his hands leisurely beginning to stroke your sides.

“Show?” you echoed confused and for the first time, your focus landed on the computer screen in front of you where a website you didn’t recognize was opened.

What you did recognize however, was the screen in the middle which reflected your own surprised face and the grinning one of Tomura behind you. Your eyes flitted to the top of the monitor to find a small camera on top, the little red light on the bottom center telling you that it was currently recording.

Back on the monitor screen, your eyes zoomed in on a small number in the corner and quickly you concluded that it showed the current viewer number of what obviously was a live stream.

“Wh-what are you planning, Shigaraki?” you asked him and turned your head and upper body so you could look in his eyes.

His gaze locked on to yours and a grin stretched across his face, cracked lips quickly moistened by his tongue so they wouldn’t crack further.

“Why, I thought since I’ve got you here, it would be a… shame not to share all the fun we’re about to have with the world,” he explained. “I even sent some links out to your dear colleagues, wouldn’t want them to miss out on it, now would we?”

Your eyes darted back to the monitor for a second, the viewer counter steadily rising, before you locked your eyes with Tomura again.

“It doesn’t matter in what way you’ll try to hurt me. I’m a hero, for God’s sake, don’t think I’m not used to pain. All you’re going to achieve by streaming this, is that my colleagues will trace the IP and find this place even faster.” You sent him a defiant look.

 Tomura erupted into cackling laughter, sounding like the crazy madman he was. “Hurt you? Oh no no no no, I think you’re misunderstanding. I’m not going to hurt you.” His right hand moved upwards to grip the top of your hero uniform; his pinky raised by acquired habit.

“Rather, I thought…” he continued, his grip hardening around the sturdy material before he purposefully burrowed his hand in it. “We could have some fun in a different way.”

Your horrified gaze went towards your chest, where the material of your suit began to crumble away in ashes, opening the view to your undergarments.

“Fuck you!” you screamed and started to struggle in his grasp. His left hand gripped your side harder, pinky raised, while his right hand came up to grip your chin.

“N’ah, ah, ah,” he chided you and his grip on your chin became painful. “Don’t forget that I hold your life in my hands.”

Before you had the chance to reply to him, his lips descended upon yours. His kiss was harsh and bruising, the feeling of his chapped lips uncomfortable on yours. You tried to break free of his hold, but it was futile. His tongue slipped out of his mouth and licked your lips, hoping to gain entry. You pressed them together more fiercely, your jaw gnashing with the force you brought up to keep your mouth closed.

Tomura clicked his tongue in disapproval. He took his mouth off you for a second to take a look at your tense face.

“Now, now, doll, while it would be a shame if this level was too easy to clear, I think you still don’t understand exactly in what situation you are currently in.”

As if to prove his point, his hand lifted from your jaw and gripped the fabric of your sports bra with all of his fingers. Instantly, the material began to crumble away under his grip until all that remained was a small heap of ashes on your legs.

Now, with nothing to cover your shame, your face burned with embarrassment and your arms shot up to cover your breasts.

“Oh, don’t get shy on me,” Tomura grinned and grabbed your arms to pull them away from your chest. “I’m sure your viewers would love to get a good look at you.”

 You tried to fight his grip, but his raw strength was far superior to yours, so you had no chance but to uncover your breasts for everyone to see. Your eyes felt hot and began to sting but you refused to let any tears fall. A hero didn’t cry, no matter how dire the situation got. On the screen, you saw an influx of messages on the chat, not even bothering to try and read the contents; you were sure that it wasn’t something you would actually want to read.

Before Tomura could continue to embarrass you further, a “ding” sounded from the computer speaker into the silence of the room. This led Tomura to giggle in excitement.

“Seems like the first one of our special guests has just entered the stream,” he said from behind you. Your head whipped around to face him. “What is that supposed to mean?” you asked him, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Oh, don’t worry, my doll. That ‘ding’ you just heard? Means that one of my invitation links just got opened and one of your colleagues just decided to finally join us. Why don’t you be nice and greet him?”

Tomura took your right hand he was still holding and began to wave it for the camera. Your eyes closed in frustration, knowing there was nothing you could do about it. When he was finally done waving for you, his hand let go of your wrist and immediately you covered your chest the best you could.

His now free hand gripped your hair and pulled your head back. His head burrowed itself in the crook of your neck, nibbling and biting at your skin. His lips moved up towards your ear and he whispered “Now, let’s make sure that we put on a good show for our viewers.” before taking your earlobe into his mouth and biting on it.

“Once I’m out of here, I’ll fucking kill you,” you answered him through gritted teeth, trying to ignore the unpleasant wet feeling of his mouth on you. You felt him smile against your skin, but he didn’t say anything to you in return. Instead, his hand left your hair and glided down your face and neck, making its way down to your breasts.

Your hand gripped his wrist, trying to keep him from touching you in this intimate place but you already knew that you wouldn’t be able to stop him. Moments later, Tomura’s hand had reached its goal and he began to fondle your breast roughly, pulling and twisting your nipple.

Your face scrunched up in pain and once more, you tried to pull his hand away from your body – to no avail. He continued tugging and twisting and shamefully you noticed that your nipple was getting hard. You knew that it was merely a bodily response to being stimulated but it was still hard to stomach that your body was reacting to it when you sure as hell weren’t enjoying his ministrations in the slightest.

And it seemed like you weren’t the only one who had noticed. Tomura had as well and you felt his grin against your neck. “Oh, seems like somebody’s enjoying it?” he gloated and tugged on your nipple harder.

“As if!” you exclaimed, hoping that nobody else would believe his incredulous words. Everything about his touches was uncomfortable: His grip was rough and his hand felt scratchy on your delicate skin.

Once more, you started to wriggle in his grasp, knowing that nothing would come out of it. With just the threat of his hands, he had you defeated before you had even started fighting. And although what was about to happen horrified and scared you, death scared you even more.

Now his left hand let go of yours and instantly, you started curling in on yourself, trying to prevent him from touching you further or the viewers on the stream from seeing you. He allowed you to remain in this position for a few moments while his gaze was fixed on the screen, reading the influx of comments.

“It seems like the majority of our viewers want us to move on to the next level already,” Tomura said and his left hand snaked under your armpit and up to your throat, tilting your body back against his.

“What do you say we give the people what they want?” Another tug on your nipple, and his hand left your breast before it continued downwards to your panties. Your hands clawed at his arm, trying to free yourself from his grip and save the last bit of dignity you still had left. Tomura wasn’t fazed by that however and his hand steadily continued until it had clawed into the material of your underwear and it decayed into nothingness along with your last shred of hope to somehow free yourself of this situation.

The little pile of dust that had settled on your crotch was blown away by Tomura and his mouth stretched into a wide grin, his dry lips close to cracking open. The hand that had disintegrated your panties now took your right thigh and pulled it to the side, effectively spreading your legs and displaying your pussy for everyone on the stream to see.

You had closed your eyes, not wanting to see yourself and your shameful display mirrored on the screen. Your hands, that had been on his arm up until now, trying to free yourself of his grasp, fell limply to your sides as all fight left your body. You knew that there was no way you would be able to get yourself out of this situation before Tomura had had the chance to defile you. Your only option at this point was to wait for your colleagues to arrive and save you – and hoping that you wouldn’t get killed before they would do so.

Once Tomura felt your body slacken, he began to laugh. “What? Not gonna fight me anymore?” he asked, his voice full of malicious joy. “And here I was beginning to enjoy your feisty attitude.”

Your change in behavior didn’t however stop him from continuing on with his little show and his right hand moved from your thigh to your pussy lips, spreading them open with the pointer and middle finger of his hand to give his audience a good show.

“That’s some grade A hero pussy,” he grinned into the camera as rubbed his finger around your hole a few times. “I wonder how many dicks it has taken so far…”

He turned his face from the camera to you as if he was waiting for an answer. You weren’t willing to give him that information though and kept your mouth shut, even as he lifted his other hand from your neck to your cheeks to squeeze them and get you to talk.

After a moment however, it seemed as if he had lost patience waiting for your answer, as he retracted his hand and put it back into place on your neck.

“It doesn’t matter. Once I’ve fucked you, I’ll have you ruined for other dicks for all eternity,” he cackled, his pointer finger pushing into your dry cunt immediately after he had finished his sentence.

You hissed out in pain. The skin on his finger was rough and you – surprise, surprise – were not turned on at all, so it hurt when he shoved it inside without any preparation at all.

When Tomura heard your hiss, he cackled again, moving his finger around inside you.

“If you’re already struggling to take my finger, you will break apart once I shove my cock inside you.”

Slowly, he began to move his finger, and with horror you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter the more he prodded your walls. Soon, he was able to fit a second finger inside your heat, angling them upwards and against where he had read the g-spot was.

When you took a sharp breath, he knew that he had been successful and he continued to push against the little rough patch of skin, knowing it would be so much more bitter for you if your body enjoyed the ordeal.

After a few moments of pumping his fingers inside you, he stopped and leaned forward a bit, reading through the comments in the chat.

He laughed. “Yeah, that little hero pussy is getting nice and wet,” he replied to one commenter. “It’s sucking my fingers right in.”

As if to demonstrate, he pulled his fingers out a bit and moved them around, until a squelching sound could be heard, and then pushed them all the way inside again, which elicited a muffled moan you hadn’t been able to stop in time.

“She’s definitely enjoying herself,” he answered another comment, looking at you with a sleazy grin. “Isn’t that right, hero slut?”

You grit your teeth and held back the curses and slurs you wanted to reply with, knowing that it would amuse your tormenter.

Once Tomura felt like he had replied to enough comments, he turned his attention back to you, thrusting his fingers inside you harshly one last time before he took them out, lifting them to the camera first to show the glistening juices before he put them inside his mouth and licked them with an exaggerated hum.

“I hope you’re ready for the final boss,” he whispered into your ear, although he made sure that it was loud enough for his audience to hear.

You shook your head, one last time trying to squirm out of his grasp. All that achieved however was that your ass rubbed against Tomura’s bulge and he let out a soft hiss.

“No need to be impatient, little hero slut,” he said with a grin as the hand that held your neck lifted you higher so the other hand could loosen and push down his pants.

Even if you hadn’t wanted to, as soon as Tomura’s erection bobbed free and sprang up between your legs, your eyes wandered to it, widening when you saw his size.

Tomura had to have seen your expression mirrored in the stream because he let out a manic laugh, his entire body (and dick) shaking with the emotion.

“Oh, don’t worry, it won’t hurt… much,” he cackled as he rubbed his dick along your slit, coating it in your juices. You body twitched when the tip of his dick rubbed over your clit and a shameful whimper escaped your throat, although you willed yourself immediately to shut up.

Not wanting to see your own violation, you closed your eyes as Tomura positioned himself at your entrance and began to slowly push inside.

You couldn’t hold back the hiss that escaped your throat at the intrusion, nor the squirming as you tried to get away from it.

Tomura only tightened his grip on your neck you, pushing your body down on him as his dick breached further and further into your wet heat.

Tears threatened to escape your eyes once Tomura was fully seated in you and only through sheer willpower, you managed to hold them back, unwilling to give up this last bit of pride you had.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Tomura groaned, stilling for a second to get used to the feeling of your cunt. “Don’t tell me you were a virgin?”

You bit your lip, refusing to answer the villain. No matter what you would say, he would only find it amusing and possibly use it to torment you further, either calling you a stuck-up hero bitch, thinking you’re too good for anyone, or a hero slut, willing to let anyone willing fuck you.

When Tomura realized he wasn’t getting an answer from you, he chuckled before he adjusted his four-finger grip on your neck, pulled almost all the way out of your cunt and slammed you down again until he was inside you to the base.

A pained cry flew from your lips but you had no time to even try and hold back your voice anymore, because Tomura immediately continued to jackhammer into you, moaning and panting into your ear as he showed the world how your cunt ate up his dick.

Your hands flew up to grab at his arm, futilely trying to steady yourself at least a bit, as he pushed and pushed and pushed into you. Squelching noises you were sure the microphone was picking up as well, came from your cunt as it greedily sucked Tomura’s dick back in every time he pulled back.

“Fuck, this is some grade A pussy,” Tomura groaned, his hips only slowing down a bit as his muscles began to hurt from the position. He caught his breath while he lazily thrusted into you, his moist breath uncomfortable on your ear.

Suddenly, Tomura moved and stood up from his chair, pushing you up as well with his hips. The hand that was around your throat slipped from under your arm and instead pushed down onto your back, laying you flat on his computer desk while his dick never left your tight cunt.

As soon as he had finished adjusting to the new position, he began railing you again, his hips slamming against your ass as his dick burrowed inside you further and further.

You let out a pained scream as his thrusts reached even deeper now, clenching your eyes shut as you tried to shut out the pain. At least in this position, the camera wasn’t able to get a shot of your face, you thought in relief, as it was too high to capture your body laid out on the desk.

Tomura must’ve noticed that fact as well because the next moment, the hand that pushed your back down moved up and grabbed your hair, pulling you up so your face was angled towards the camera. Your eyes flew open, a choked cry leaving you as you felt the burn on your scalp of your hair being pulled.

Right in front of you, you could see the red blinking light of the recoding camera and even though you wanted to close your eyes again, you found that the position made it impossible for you to do so.

So you had no choice but to stare into the camera as Tomura fucked you from behind while grunting and panting, your eyebrows furrowing as your eyes filled with tears.

After a minute of thrusting and you getting slammed against the desk again and again, Tomura leaned forward to read some more comments, his face erupting into a cackle when he read one of them.

“They’re saying I’m not taking care of you,” he told you, pulling at your hair some more so your head leant on his shoulder. “Saying you look like you’re not enjoying yourself.” He let go of your hair which caused you to fall forward onto the desk, almost slamming your head on the wood. “Let’s change that, shall we?”

With those words, his right hand began snaking around your waist, moving down so he could rub at your clit. His other hand pulled your back against his chest, giving the camera a better view and himself some more room to move his hand around your little nub.

At first, it was easy to ignore the touches on your clit, instead focusing on your uncomfortable position but then, he moved his fingers in a way that teased your clit just right and your mouth flew open as a loud moan left your lips.

“Ahh, so that’s what gets you going,” he laughed, immediately repeating the motion and trying to get you to make some more noises. You tried to hold back the sounds, tried to force yourself to close your mouth so no more moans and whimpers could escape you, but Tomura simply moved his hand on your chest upwards, pushing two of his fingers inside you mouth so it would stay open.

His thrusts had increased in speed again, his dick rubbing against your g-spot as his hands teased your clit and you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your peak.

You moved your body and tried to angle your hips in a way that would made Tomura’s actions at least a bit more bearable but he noticed right away and made sure that you could not escape the orgasm that was building inside of you.

“Fuck, you’re getting even tighter,” he rasped, out of breath due to his insane pace. “Are you gonna cum around my dick?” He laughed at your pained expression, letting out a grunt as your walls began twitching around him.

“Yeah, just like that. Cream around that villain dick like the hero slut you are,” he groaned, feeling himself edging closer and closer to orgasm as well.

With one last effort, you tried to move away and stop his hand from pushing you over the edge but it was useless and with a cry, you came on his dick, the tears you had held back the entire time running down your face as your body twitched and convulsed, milking his cock like some desperate bitch in heat.

Tomura let out a choked groan, pumping into you a few more time as he announced that he was going to fill your slutty pussy with his cum, before you could feel his dick twitching inside you. You wanted to shout, wanted to beg him to at least not cum inside but his hand was still in your mouth and so you simply cried in silence as his warmth spread through you and began dripping out of your pussy.

Tomura let out a shuddering breath as he calmed down from his high, falling down in his seat and taking you with him. His dick began to get flaccid and with a plopping sound the pulled it out of your abused cunt, spreading your pussy lips for your audience to show them the copious amounts of cum that now dripped out of your slit and down your ass.

“Next time,” Tomura laughed as he pushed his cum back inside with two of his fingers. “Let’s try out that back entrance of yours.” He teasingly let his finger circle around your cum-covered asshole while you simply lay on his chest, motionless except for your harsh breaths and the sobs leaving your body.

He wiped his gooey fingers on your chest before he leaned forward to grab his computer mouse, waving to the camera one last time and telling his audience he hoped they had enjoyed the show before he cut the stream and the red light of the camera turned off.

 ____________________________________________

When the screen turned black, back at the agency Katsuki slammed a fist on the table. He didn’t want to watch one of his coworkers violated but they needed to make sure you weren’t killed while his colleague on the desk worked on tracing the IP.

Katsuki whipped his head up, shouting over to the other pro-hero. “Did you fucking trace the stream?!”

It was silent for a minute while his colleague typed furiously, trying his hardest to get a location.

“…no.”

Katsuki’s scream of rage could be heard through the entire agency.