#i tried to keep it vague enough to have some flexibility ^^

[eleni-earye]

"Persistence and conviction are very admirable. Stubborn-mindedness is not."

( @ofthevanyar - for Elerròmë)

Elerrome sighed, eyes downcast as she listened. "I know you speak truth, and wisdom besides. And yet, how is one to judge the difference when each person surely believes that they are the one who is correct in following their convictions? It is hard enough, even without..." Without the uncertainty, the confusion, the fear.

"All I know to do is to follow those I trust. Fortunate, perhaps, that most of them are far more persistent--or stubborn--than I."

( @ofthevanyar )

[steamedlotusroot]

I translated Lego Monkie Kid’s Cantonese Extended Opening

In the tags of my first post I said I wanted to translate the lyrics of the extended OP of the LMK Cantonese dub and I did it :D

Translation notes: (some translations are wonky bc either the og lyrics are ambiguous, I didn’t have enough space to translate the phrases fully, or my Cantonese is rusty)

“All reveal your true forms to me immediately!”— 現形 means to appear/reappear. I personally interpreted it as the spirits/demons showing their true forms when SWK is fighting them, but simply “reveal yourselves to me” works too

“I truly can’t help how popular I am these days.”— One of my wonky translations I think. The og lyric is more like “really, I’m trending right now, I can’t stop it even if I wanted to / even if I tried.”

“But now I have to hide away,”— The lyric for “hide away” 神隱 very specifically refers to gods/immortals/spirits going into hiding

“From now on, keep the Golden Staff with you at all times,”— In the original JttW text, SWK’s staff is called the 金箍棒 “gold-hooped staff/rod”, but in Cantonese the staff is more commonly called the 金剛棒, which doesn’t have the “hoop” character. It’s just a gold stick 

“Only rely on having enough audacity,”— I think it’s supposed to be “have a lot of/enough courage” but it can also mean “audacity”, and since this song is about SWK and MK I think the word “audacity” fits them much better haha

“I will reach the peak for a competition of skill.”— This is an instance of Cantonese being so compressed and concise that I have no idea how to structure the sentence in English

“Endure for the sake of loyalty,”— 捱義氣 means doing a favor out of personal loyalty that you might not want to do (eg. you help your friend clean his car when you hate cleaning cars cuz he’s your bud!). I think “endure for the sake of loyalty” is a goofy way of translating this but I dunno what to write instead

“Assemble surprises.”— I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. This is a very literal translation

“The me today,”— Longer version: The me I am today

“Chock-full of abilities.”— OG lyrics 一身本領 go a little bit like “the whole body is full of skills/abilities”. I wanted to just write “full of talents” but “talent” isn’t quite accurate. I went with “chock-full” cuz it sounds funny

“Clash with fire in a duel,”— I like to think that this line refers to Red Son and I like Red Son :]

“Carrying an endless mission,”— I originally wrote “shouldering” instead of “carrying”, but because 懷 means “embrace/chest” or “harboring”, I thought “carrying” sounds less grueling and more accurate than “shouldering”

“Eyeballs looking around,”— “eyes staring wide and round” probably fits 眼仔睩睩 better, but hopefully “eyeballs” sounds wide and round enough?? And I wanted to turn it into an action so I described the eyes looking around like they’re on guard!

“Grappling arduously with the enemy,”— Lots of ways to translate 搏命: fighting for your life, wrestling for your life, blah blah blah. I hope “grappling” is evocative enough 😭

“Quick-witted actions, be clever,”— I’m not sure if it’s “quick-witted, actions sharp and clever” or “quick-witted actions, be sharp and clever” 💀 靈活 means “mentally flexible”, sharp醒 means “smart, clever, alert, quick-witted”, something like that

“It’s called the NSoFFM,”— The lyric lacks a pronoun in Cantonese so I’m not sure if it means “call me/you the NSoFFM”, “call for the NSoFFM”, “you’re called the NSoFFM”, or something else. I interpreted it as SWK listing a bunch of traits and saying “someone like this will be called the NSoFFM”

“Skyrocket to ascension / I rise at Flower Fruit Mountain.”— 飈升 means shooting up really quickly/suddenly. I’m not sure what “shooting up” means in this context so I kept it as vague as possible. I also translated 飈升 in two different ways “skyrocket to ascension” and simply “rise” even though both lyrics mean the same thing in Cantonese. “Skyrocket” is most accurate IMO, but it sounds weird by itself

“I always strive for self-improvement,”— The og is just “I forever self-strengthen”, which sounds weird to me so I expanded it

“When I wedge into the crack,”— No idea what this means?? I’m guessing it’s supposed to evoke the image of SWK jamming a weapon into a crack? Also I wanted to write “wedge into the fissure” but when I googled “fissure” it showed me results for anal fissures and I was so put off by it I just used “crack” instead, even though “crack” sounds much sillier than “fissure”

“Demons please relax, lest you lose control.”— Nothing to note, I just really like the original lyric. It’s so cocky and badass and SO Wukong (or MK!) /pos

“Use kindness as the mark of recognition,”— Not sure what this really means? I interpret it as “kindness is my goal/principle”, but 記認 means both “marking” and “recognize/remember” so uh

“Evildoing is difficult to regard as the elder brother,”— The og lyric sounds fine but trying to understand it is?? It’s not “evildoers”, it’s “the way/path of evildoing”, but then it says “it’s difficult to be an older brother (non-familial)” like who is it difficult for??? Also “brother” here means a fellow disciple/classmate under the same teacher/master/school, so like the relationship between SWK and the other pilgrims (except their master, of course)

“I can’t be beat to death, swim carefree at the edge of the sky.”— The most egregious lyric IMO. I have absolutely no clue what it’s supposed to mean so maybe I’m just not that good at Cantonese??? It could be “I can’t beat to death swimming carefree at the edge of the sky” or “I can’t be beaten to death, swim carefree at the edge of the sky”. The swimming part lacks a pronoun so idk who’s swimming? What is happening in this sentence?? Help??

“Risk your life when taking action,”— 拼命 either means “as hard as you can” or “risking your life”. I’m only assuming it means the latter because I interpret this as SWK lecturing MK on how to be a hero

“And the battle lineup is again full of wit,”— I can sorta grasp what this means, but idk how to write it in English. 陣容 means the appearance/formation of your battalion and can extend to mean the array of abilities in a certain lineup. Not sure how to actually describe this though 😭 also I used “clever” for sharp醒 earlier but changed it to “wit” here so it’d be a noun and sound like an ability or something

[komohine]

tell me about the android james au in excruciating detail please

Ok so i really want to but also i do plan on making this an actual fanfic in the future so i wont spoil very much

SETTING: futuristic, and very dystopian. Currently there is war everywhere. The US is fighting against an enemy, but the way the enemy is broadcasted is extremely vague. There are no specific countries named, instead they’re given arbitrary titles such as “the loons”, “jesters”, etc. they are also fighting against multiple groups. Also much of the country is wasteland. Lawless, ruled by mercenary groups and the larger enemy groups. Where the military base James and Keith are at (arizona), the surrounding desert is dominated by a group known as “The Red”. There’s always intense battles to keep them away from the city the military base is attached to.

The only centres of human activity is within larger cities and around military bases. But just because a city is large doesn’t mean it still remains. New York City is just ruins, for example.

Anyways, androids were created to help the US in the war. The media and propaganda that surrounds them dehumanize them to an extreme extent. They are viewed as no more than tools, and are treated as such.

“As cold and calculating as a computer, but as flexible and adaptive as a human. The androids will take the place of your beloved father, brother, or son, on the front lines so Christmas can be celebrated by your whole family.”

They do have individual names but it is much more common practice to refer to them by their serial number. But all in all they are not treated well, even more so that the majority of the US populace believes that the androids are powered entirely by artificial intelligence. This lie was perpetuated purposefully by the media, because it’s much easier to dehumanize them when you think of everything they do as “not real” and as “just programming”.

That’s where the androids in this au differ slightly from your typical android that’s powered by ai but gains sentience (no hate to this trope though, i love it). These androids are powered by the brains of dead soldiers. Soldiers would volunteer to have their brains scanned and artificially replicated, and these brains would be connected into the android and give that soldier new life. In some cases, soldiers who died and didn’t volunteer would get their brains scanned and replicated anyways. This happens for various reasons, the main ones being that the soldier has some expertise that’s invaluable or that they have information that’s key to the war. So it’s not really artificial intelligence. It’s just human consciousness trapped in a robot body.

Being an android sucks too, because a lot of “non essential functions” were removed. Such as highly sensitive touch, the ability to taste and to smell, and the ability to cry. Androids do have some pressure sensors, but these are mostly concentrated in the hands. Theres some at the bottom of their feet (more if the android specializes in stealth missions) and also some in their face, but it’s nowhere near the level of a human’s. They can smell, but only certain hazardous chemicals. And instead of actual smelling all it does is trigger a warning popup on their optical lens. So imagine dying fully human and then waking up in an extremely limited body. No smell, no taste, hardly any sense of touch, but the memory of it lingers and taunts you. It’s extremely traumatic and most androids have lasting issues because of it. Also learning to operate the body is difficult, especially with more dexterous movements.

Androids can feel pain, but it’s more in the form of feeling malfunctions and error messages. If an android, for example, broke their arm and then tried moving it, the flurry of malfunctions and error messages sent to their brain would cause enough of a neural overload that, according to James, is a “close enough simulation of pain”. But of course, media doesn’t tell anyone this. It’s always “androids can’t feel pain, and they cant die, so whats the harm in killing them?”

On androids dying, they can be revived. But they can only be revived a certain amount of times before their brain fries and they’re forced out of commission. If this happens, and the android was particularly important, the military will make a second brain out of the original scan. This brings back the android, but without any of the memories from their prior life. All in all most of the practices surrounding androids are disturbingly inhumane.

James was a highly specialized soldier when he died at 23. He also had a lot of important information, so even though he didn’t consent to it, the military brought him back as an android. He was assigned to be the leader of the MFEs, the military’s first all android team that specialized in particularly difficult and dangerous missions. But an incident down the line (involving Shiro) really called the loyalty and reliability of androids into question, and Keith was assigned to the MFEs to be their handler, basically. Why Keith? Well he was good at what he did, skilled, and most importantly the military had stuff to hold over him.

Keith, like your average American citizen, was not a fan of androids. And despite James being a few ranks higher than him he’d constantly disregard and disrespect him on the basis that he was an android. But it’s okay! Because he gets better! And I cant say any more for spoiler reasons! But they kiss kiss fall in love and then fall apart!!

[starrymused]

@lannamused

Where am I now?

Hard ground beneath him, grass and mud, different from the weird terrain of the demon realm. Andrew sat himself up and rubbed at his temple, feeling like he'd crash-landed here like some out-of-place alien. Well, the former part of that statement was certainly true — he was unwanted everywhere. Everywhere but with her.

Ugh. Okay, what did Lord Unknown say? Something about... being free? Hah! As if that would ever happen. Wait, but... was it a deal he'd made? Argh, why couldn't he remember all the details? Well, whatever, it would come back to him in time. Probably.

He pulled himself up, managing to get into a standing position despite the throbbing in his head. Green eyes take in his surroundings, noting that he was in a forest. Which forest was anyone's guess — there were a ton of wooded areas in his state. If that's even where he still was.

With nothing else to do, he began to walk, keeping an eye out for any branching trails that he might have to use later for whatever reason. It was a fairly uneventful exploration: stick, stick, slightly larger stick, a branch (that still counted as a stick), and oh hey, a wooden plank! With his track record, he'd definitely need that later.

After about ten minutes of shuffling through undergrowth like some drugged-out zombie (he hadn't realized how hungry and tired he really was), he spotted a path that looked more man-made. Heading along it, Andrew tried to keep his mind focused on this sole task and not on the demon and whatever deal he vaguely remembered being offered to him. Nor did he think (or at least try to) of Ashley and how much she'd be freaking out when she realized he was gone.

A house appeared through the trees. No, it didn't actually appear out of thin air, although nothing would surprise him anymore. It was just there, built in a clearing like some modern retelling of Hansel and Gretel with the human-eating witch.

Except I'd be the one to eat whoever lives there...

No, there would be no human consuming today. Or ever again. Making the last stretch to the house, Andrew noticed how quiet it was. It didn't seem run-down, though. If anything, it appeared well looked after, even having some furniture and debris outside as if someone was in the process of moving things around. Maybe a rennovation?

He should move along; he knew that. Don't get too close to anywhere that might have people. Which would be real fucking difficult considering he'd have to buy essentials and all that, but if he could just stay as far from humankind as possible, then that would be the best outcome. For all of them.

But he was never one to listen to his own logic and trudged up to the door, legs weary and stomach growling. The door was locked as he expected, but a window around the back was cracked open enough for him to hoist himself up and slide through. Or more like half tumble through — he'd never been all that flexible. If anyone came running, he'd have a reason ready, a backstory, an excuse for being a creepy weirdo breaking into their home. It didn't matter who the other person was; Andrew could adapt his demeanor and story accordingly. For maximum manipulation! Wow, wasn't he such a swell guy!

[daemon-in-my-head]

OC profile: Ellifain

Got tagged by @wafflerageface (ty 💕), @sakurainhellagain @asteriasfallingstarsandtears @kawareo have fun if y'all want, or those that want to do this feel tagged rn

Basics

Full name: Yeah, about that, do you want the alias, the name he went with mainly or the true name? I might've gone overboard here. Ellifain is an alias he uses cuz reasons, the name he's registered as a citizen with and the one his family gave him would be Fionnlagh Starym, there's a whole ass backstory about his name, why he isn't using it, if he ever uses it again etc but too much for here. Feel free to ask though. Oh but, Gortash kinda knows his name? Listen y'all it's complicated. I like it when they suffer.

Gender: Male but is too busy having an identity crisis to care for it

Sexuality: aspec

Pronouns: he/him/they, doesn't really care for the same reason as above though

Other

Father: biological; Bhaal, adopted; Anfalen Starym

Mother: biological; Bhaal(?), adopted; Saelihn Starym

Siblings: biological; Sarevok Anchev, adopted; Elanil Starym. Orin is just a niece, she's not Bhaals kid (though he does treat her like a sister)

Birthplace: praise the vague canon, I suppose he was created in Gehenna before Bhaal dropped him like a hot stone in the Gate

Job: Cult leader

Phobias: being viewed as Faithless or False, the cold

Guilty Pleasures: 'artistic' worship, dancing, sitting in the sun like a lizard, playing with Cadis

Alignment: neutral evil with chaotic tendencies

Sins: vivisections, murder, extortion, blackmail, skipping the fine prints, skipping work, arrogance, do you need the whole list or does this suffice?

Virtues: protectiveness (he's really not a good guy)

This or That

Introvert/Extrovert: Extroverted introvert(?), prefers to keep to himself or his small group of people he does not hate, but can be charming and extroverted in a rather manipulative fashion if duties require

Organized/Disorganized: Organized, not thanks to Scels help

Close-Minded/Open-Minded: Very open-minded, for better or worse. Please stop eating people that's not a balanced diet.

Calm/Anxious/Restless: Restless, can't sit still for 5 minutes. Needs to fiddle with something if he's not occupied

Disagreeable/Agreeable/In-Between: In-Between, will hear you out but if he considers your idea to be foolish he will call you out and become incredibly stubborn about it

Cautious/Reckless: Reckless. Does not give a damn as long as only he's involved, if others could be put into unfortunate situations however he'll reconsider and be somewhat careful. If he likes them that is

Patient/Impatient/In between: Patient, he'll get what he wants eventually, one way or another

Outspoken/Reserved/In between: Reserved, he will not talk or say more than he has to in order to convey his point. Local tyrants hate this trick.

Leader/Follower/Flexible: Flexible but prefers to lead

Empathetic/Unempethic/In between: In between, tries his best to be empathic but some things he simply can't comprehend or refuses to cuz of his own past

Traditional/Modern/In between: In between, mainly traditional but isn't afraid of introducing new things to the cult or his life

Hard working/Lazy: Hard working, solely cuz he avoids sleep and can't sit still for 5 minutes. Lounging is his archenemy

Relationships

OTP: Gortash. Duh. Though things happened with a certain Drow in between

BrOTP: Astarion, platonic murder worsties, finally an elf that doesn't look at his appearance with disdain cuz they're the same in that regard. Lae'zel is cool too, they could share beautiful moments of identity crisis together

NOTP: Shadowheart, she's a constant painful reminder of the memories he's lost, oddly enough something he'd rather forget (his whole stick is running from uncomfortable truths lol) edit; also he has that whole Sehanine and moon bit going on so Shart thought he's a selunite, didn't go well for either of them lmao

[jenn-the-butterfly]

Next Chapter

Sun’s rays fluttered excitedly, even after his brother’s silhouette had disappeared into the treeline. Turning with a wide smile, he paused upon seeing the troubled look on Jenn’s face as she stared after Moon. It was gone in a blink however, a half-smile replacing the concern as she looked up to him, a playful quirk of her brow denoting amusement at his own excitement. “Come on, bright eyes,” she casually pointed over her shoulder with her thumb, “we got enough cleared off you can use some of the stuff now.”

Step-in-step, Sun tailed behind the human as she moved between the uncovered structures, tying her skirt up around her hips to keep it out of the way. While working, Sun had occupied his mind with trying to determine the use of each piece of equipment that seemed familiar to him, even vaguely. Many of the things Jenn used for her own fitness resembled the ones he and Moon used a long, long time ago–-

Was it that long? Sun asked himself as Jenn twisted the top of a hip-level, flat dais the size of a dinner plate, knocking loose a few vines that avoided the clippers. It sure feels like it. The estate had none of the things they’d used to hone their balance and flexibility; this feeling of recognition was from before then, in the murky days that he could barely recall as he came into himself under the guidance of his builders.

Moon was there, that much he knew, but the rest came and went in waves. If he tried to think too hard, he only got tired–-so many new faces had entered and left his memory since then, it was impossible to fully sort out if they were from before at the facility he was made in or simply the earliest of the visitors to the estate. Many of his strongest memories from then were of Moon and them forming their bond, but the rest…?

Silvon. The name jumped out at him like a rabbit breaking cover from a predator, almost startling him.

The magenta-eyed human that introduced them to that woman-–to Vissara.

Faintly, Sun hoped the well-dressed but cold human was well and hadn’t gotten in too much trouble because of them. It was hard to forget that gaze, even from a time when memories were still a bit blurry with age. Despite being stone-faced and emotionally distant, Silvon had been polite to them and taught them how to behave in the estate, giving them schedules and tasks to keep them out of trouble when they got too curious. Sun had every reason to like Silvon.

It was odd to him that he didn’t.

In fact, he felt nothing in regard to the magenta-eyed human. Not hate or love, he didn’t like or dislike Silvon in any regard. They simply existed in the estate as Vissara’s assistant, while Sun coexisted indifferently to them.

Weird, he concluded, having expected to feel one way or another. He had opinions about everyone he met, however briefly. Shrugging lightly, Sun chose to unpack his less-than-complex feelings later–-perhaps he should ask Moon what he felt about Silvon? That might sway him one way or another.

“These’ll probably help with your balance issue.” Jenn’s voice cut through the golden bot’s thoughts, drawing him back to the present. She’d climbed onto the small dais while he was distracted and stretched one leg out, her other wobbling slightly as she tried to keep poised on the disk as it twitched back and forth in an attempt to knock her off. “Just be prepared to kiss the grass in the meantime. They’re–”

Body jerking sharply as her ankle gave out, Jenn buckled. Hands up, Sun stepped forward, prepared to catch her–-swinging her other leg down, Jenn righted herself enough not to fall. The balancing plate still jerked and twitched at the slightest movement, but she fared much better on two legs.

“I really don’t want to fall on you,” she warned, eventually finding her equilibrium by holding her arms out.

“Well,” he replied, taking a half step back, “catching you would be better than kissing the ground, right?”

“Says the guy made of metal.”

“I’m softer than I look!”

A flicker of her brow dipping suspiciously–-Jenn swung her leg again, making the plate spin in place. As she came back to the front, her expression was back to normal; she nodded beside herself to the neighboring plate. “Go try one.”

Looking where she indicated, Sun could make out a handful of similar daises of varying sizes and heights scattered about the immediate area. Picking one next to his guide, he pulled himself up with a single stride, wobbling just a bit as the pivot slid around underfoot; crouching reflexively, the lanky bot held fast to the edges until it stopped moving. Slowly, he stood, weight bearing down on one leg while his system rapidly adjusted in the background to compensate for every minor change in equilibrium.

“Tall ass,” Jenn muttered in regard to the ease at which Sun could simply do things because of his build being lengthy and mostly leg.

“Huh?”

Staring at him as he found his footing, Jenn repeated, “Tall,” while pointing, a playful pout indicating she was teasing.

“Oh.” Looking down from his new spot, Sun rubbed his neck. “I am, aren’t I?”

“Just a lot. Lucky.”

Chuckling faintly at what he assumed was a compliment of some kind, Sun watched Jenn adjust her center of gravity before taking a wide step onto another spinning plate; it also twitched slightly, pulling her off balance and threatening to toss her to the ground. Thinking quick, the gold bot’s hand whipped out, grabbing onto her forearm. As he did, his own sense of balance twisted out from under him, forcing the lanky dancer to step against the edge of a different dais to keep himself from tumbling with her. It was for nothing, though, as Jenn had only wobbled a bit and recovered herself, face pinched in a look of pure confusion.

“Can I help you?” she wondered cautiously, staring him down with a bright glint in her eyes.

Squeaking, Sun let her go and stood upright, hands tucked to his collar protectively. “S-sorry! I thought you were going to fall!”

Blue stared down teal as Jenn studied him intensely for a moment, still confused but not commenting further as she placed her focus back on the collection of hazardous steps around them. One by one she stepped, hopped or strode across them, sometimes spinning to keep her balance; unsure what that look had been for, Sun followed, vaguely imitating her stance where needed as he picked apart the ways the different steps turned or shook under his weight. Distracted as he was by trying not to fall, it wasn’t until he’d reached the edge of the ‘stepping stones’, as he decided to call them, that Jenn’s presence was notably lacking. Turning once about-face, there was no sign she’d taken a turn back to the center without him noticing.

A metallic smack drew his focus around and up–-Jenn had climbed onto the next structure that was still partially overgrown at its base, her hands firmly grasping one of a series of long metal pipes that stretched the gap between one side of the unit and the other. Swinging forward, she reached for the next bar, making a similar sound as the impact reverberated through the structure. Again, but a more tinny bang as her false arm hit the pipe. Again–-her body swayed side-to-side, picking up speed as she walked herself across the rails using her legs to generate momentum to make the next grab.

At the halfway point of her climb, Sun hoisted himself up from the stones using the metal pegs lining the support beams and peered down, his HUD giving him an estimation of about twelve feet from there to the ground which was still overgrown with trusslin. Plenty of space for him, to his surprise, but far less of a falling hazard to himself compared to Jenn-–it was with a sharp bit of realization that he truly understood why this area was left untrimmed and why something like trusslin had even been placed in the first place. This was no kids’ playground of colorful plastic and metal with padding or wood chips underneath; standing at just over seven feet himself, finding human-sized things that he could use was a bit of a dice roll at times, but this equipment wasn’t built to accommodate four-foot-something children or even six-and-some-odd-inch adults like a normal playground.

Grabbing hold of the first bar, Sun watched Jenn dismount with a graceful arc onto a platform secured at the end of the bars roughly nine feet off the ground, barely making a sound as her feet hit the wood; she turned to him, waiting with her arms crossed. There’s no way this is made for robots, that doesn't make sense, he told himself while swinging down-–gravity took hold with a suddenness he hadn’t prepared for, making him fearful of letting go as he swung forward, then back, grip straining against his mass as it was pulled down by invisible force.

Skilled as she was, Jenn couldn't be immune to gravity or falling, even if she seemed to ignore it with ease. Alerts and warnings flooded Sun’s vision, cautioning him against a fall and estimating damage if he landed incorrectly–-now knowing that he was sturdy enough to survive what should have been a lethal height, the estimates were taken with a grain of salt yet if he could possibly get hurt by dropping and landing incorrectly, the risk to Jenn was far greater. He was metal and springs and bolts--she was flesh and bone, the things that made organics infamous for being squishy and fragile; a bad fall from double her height could be disastrous. What had she said?

“I’ve avoided a few broken bones.”

The next section beyond this one was higher than the bars. This became acutely noticeable as Sun looked up from his hanging position to the structure attached to the platform Jenn waited for him on, fully overgrown across its lower reaches but easily double the height of–-no, wait, only by about half more, according to his HUD’s estimate–-nearly twenty feet off the ground. Knowing she was waiting, the golden bot began to swing, taking a bit of effort to find a rhythm to cross the bars as his lengthy body was a tad unwieldy when swinging if he wasn’t careful. The landing wasn’t quite as graceful as he’d liked, having to tuck his legs in to clear the edge of the platform, but nothing a few rounds of practice wouldn’t fix–-that would be for later though. Sun was too concerned by his observations to think about practicing.

“Jenn?” he asked as she turned from him, grabbing onto the pegs that would carry them up to the next area. Pausing, the human glanced at him expectantly. “How… how often do you use this equipment?” Sounding nonchalant was proving difficult, a tight grin only serving to make him appear more stressed than he wanted.

“All the time.”

He’d been afraid of that answer.

“Just didn’t get to it this time around after getting home.” Looking upward, she bounced and took hold of a peg, beginning to climb. “Don’t let the weeds fool you, it’ll be grown over again in a couple weeks, just you wait. I promise it’s all in good condition.”

Waiting his turn at the bottom of the ladder, a worrisome twist churned his insides. “Um, no, I-I believe that.”

“Then what’s bugging you?”

Would it be insulting to point out how insanely dangerous this whole thing is? Probably. It wasn’t his place to tell her she was risking her health when she wasn’t his to care for… yet confirmation that Jenn was regularly meandering around and climbing on rough-built exercise equipment alone using only plants as a safety guard set off his care programming whether he wanted it to or not. “I… you… do this alone? Every time?”

Reaching the top and hopping onto the edge, Jenn turned and looked down, waiting for him. “Yeah?”

Why are you so calm about that??

“It’s not like Twii and Laa need exercise and Ruk has no thumbs.”

That’s not what I’m worried about!

“And, well… you’ve seen I don’t exactly keep company that often.”

Slowly, Sun hoisted himself up each rung of the pin ladder, not needing nearly as many holds as Jenn did due once more to his height making up most of the distance for him. “I… Forgive me if I’m blunt but isn’t that dangerous?”

She stared a moment, head tilting slightly before answering, “I guess so? That’s why I planted the trusslin.”

“No, I…” At the top, Jenn hobbled to the side to give him clearance to get over the lip of the structure; vertigo washed over him as he caught a glimpse of the ground, voice draining away to a faint whine. Alerts blared caution in his head about the hazards of being so high up, unsecured.

“You good, bright eyes?”

Stiff as a board, Sun turned to see Jenn crouched on the balls of her feet on the beam that was barely wide enough to do so, totally at ease. “W-w-we–this is–it’s very high!” It took focus but he found a way to sit on the small stretch of wood in the least risky way possible for himself.

“Yep.”

“How-–how are you so calm?? Don’t you know if you fall you could…” He hesitated a moment, changing his word choice. “... get hurt??”

“I know.” Standing suddenly made Sun yelp but Jenn’s movements had taken on a smooth gait that felt completely different to moments before on the spinning stones. It was as if being higher up made her more confident somehow. Even the gentle breeze that flowed over the trees didn’t sway her as she walked over the beam to a wider section; scooting carefully, Sun followed, glad to be on more stable ground even if it was higher than he’d like it to be. “I can’t really afford to not have it though. Keeping myself sharp and fit is necessary in my line of work.”

Unprepared for her to continue, Sun hiccuped, “Huh?” as he sat up, avoiding sight of the ground until he’d adjusted for aerial performance. That finicky program was very particular about the conditions needed to auto-run so he opted to manually process it before the vertigo came back. “Your… line of work?”

“Yeah, I have a job.” A light, dry laugh stopped short as she realized he genuinely didn’t know that. It hadn’t come up yet. “Did you think I just lived out here and did whatever every day?”

“Ah… maybe?”

Rubbing her cheek, she nodded, relenting. “Actually, that’s fair, I guess. Yes, I have a job, and it's very hard on the body at times so I need to stay in shape.”

“I…” Sun scratched his jaw. “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you doing anything, I just assumed…”

She laughed again, dry and low. “It’s not an everyday job. I actually just got back from it about a day before you two popped in so no, you haven't seen me working.”

“Oh!” His brow furrowed. What job needs this kind of physical demand? Part of him wanted to ask, but a greater part was afraid to know if it made her so nonplussed about her own safety.

“Let me guess.”

His eyes flashed to hers, which were almost shining in the light of the sky, bringing out the brilliant tones of cyan in her irises–-it was the first moment Sun genuinely realized how vibrant her eye color was. It was very beautiful, but eerie as well at how unnatural it felt at that moment.

“You’re concerned because if I fell and got seriously injured, no one would be around to help me.”

That absolutely was what he felt, but focusing was not on his mind at the moment. Not on her words, in any case.

High up as they were, they didn’t clear the canopy but it opened their field of view enough that the sky stretched nearly from horizon to horizon in all directions, glinting and shining with the yellow aurora he’d seen so many times through the windows of the estate house. Brilliant, shining blue eyes had riveted his attention for some seconds before Sun was able to drift free, caught in how the yellow light cast a shadow on Jenn’s face that only emphasized the unearthly glow her eyes had–-well, that he thought they had at least, given how richly colored they were. Her hair, dyed a deep blue at the ends but grown in at the root into its natural ash blonde, took on an array of colors from gold to brown under the aurora’s glow, even tinting green in a way that didn’t seem natural at first. From these faux colored locks, his gaze followed the light into the sky itself behind her head, drawn into the mass of clouds that scattered the aurora’s light to every corner that engulfed Azil’s sky in semi-permanent cover.

The aurora wasn’t new. From his room, Sun had seen it almost every day: a bright array of light through the single window he had, accompanied by the smallest sliver of Uls in the corner. It was the same aurora now, yet out here he felt for the first time he was really seeing it–-how the edges turned green or sometimes pink as the light twisted around itself, dancing a bizarre, rhythmless dance only it knew the steps to. Within city walls and narrow streets, it was hard to imagine just how big it was, but out here…

Snap snap.

Jolting back to reality, Sun blinked, focusing on the fingers in front of his face. “Sorry??” he blurted reflectively, embarrassed he’d zoned out so hard out of nowhere.

Blue eyes stared back at him with concern; there was no glow in them.

Of course not, that’d be silly.

“Do you want to watch the aurora or keep going?” Though she sounded annoyed, her gaze was gentle–-he thought so, anyway.

“We can… we can keep going, I’m sorry. I’ve…” Words were becoming more and more difficult lately as Sun realized he lacked the right ones to explain himself properly anymore.

Sitting back, Jenn looked up at the sky, a faint smile on her lips that put him at ease. “It’s different when you can see the whole sky, isn’t it?”

A smile of his own crossed his face, relieved she understood what he was feeling despite being unable to say it the way he wanted. “It very much is.” Standing, Jenn offered her hand, pulling the golden robot to his feet despite his hesitation at the act. After what she’d said about fitness, it shouldn’t have shocked him that she was stronger than she looked but nevertheless he was still a bit impressed that she didn’t struggle as much as he’d expected given he was nearly double her weight. Without meaning to, he said as much aloud before clamping a hand to his mouth.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem upset about his wayward comment. “Just wait, you haven’t seen anything yet!” Motioning behind her to the open area of the structure, Jenn half-skipped to the edge, seeming delighted. “I’m much better at swinging than I am at strength tests!”

Now that his aerial programming was in effect, the vertigo was negated, allowing Sun to peer down to the tangled underbrush below without feeling dizzy or unbalanced. They were very high, that much he knew, but unlike the bars this area didn’t have a coherent connecting point between parts. Arches tall as trees with metal pipes running across them stood at attention in random spots, towering over the other equipment like sentinels. Some of them had ropes or additional bars at the half or three-quarters mark but they were nowhere near each other to grab onto easily; at the far end of the clearing was a taller pillar bolted into a tree with an arm that hung over an empty spot but nothing attached to it. It felt unfinished to him, like something was supposed to be there.

Familiarity came first as he understood what the bars were for.

Behind it was fear.

“This is my favorite part to use.” Jenn’s voice echoed in his head as if she were far away, her body moving in slow motion to him as she kicked off the platform, arms extended.

Nothing came out of his mouth when he tried to call out, his own body too slow to stop her until she was already over the edge.

Sun’s knees hit the platform as he tumbled forward, missing her by a hair with everything screaming DANGER at him; Jenn’s hands hit a bar that had been out of sight from their vantage point, just far enough forward that she didn’t slam into it with her head or chest. With the ease of many years of practice, the human swung, the pipe turning in its socket to send her forward and up; she let go, sailing into the air like a leaf on the wind. He gawked, half awestruck and half terrified he was about to witness a tragedy–-Sun’s HUD frantically pinged with estimations as he tracked Jenn’s gymnastics through the open air.

Toes pointed, the human managed a fluid flip as she came down to the next bar, grabbing on and carrying herself around it without a care in the world. Once–-twice–-she spun on the bar before launching again, flinging herself upward to a higher bracket; a rope dangled from the center, only about ten feet in length. Nowhere near the ground.

To his horror, Jenn didn’t make it to the bar–-thank Azil the rope was there! With a creak, she grabbed hold of the end of the safety rope, swinging wildly while climbing her way up to the top with barely a moment of hesitation. Once she was at the peak of the rung, she waved, perched once again on the balls of her feet.

Releasing a held breath, Sun shouted, “ARE YOU ALRIGHT????” as he had nothing else he could manage without growing hysteric.

After a moment, she called back, “I’m fine! C’mon!”

Nope.

Nope, no, absolutely not!

Making a large X with his arms, Sun declined. “I’m okay right now! I… I’m going back to the wobbly things!” He turned to scoot his way back down the ladder.

“Okay! I’ll join you!”

Freezing, Sun’s brain fired off an, “Oh no,” as it assumed what her way down entailed. To his great relief, instead of jumping into the grass, he whipped around in time to see Jenn slide down the pillar making up one leg of the structure, moving as if hand holds were placed along it that he couldn’t make out from that distance. “Oh, thank Azil…” he huffed, slumping down for a moment with pure relief. After composing himself, the golden worrywart was able to make his way down, meeting the squishy human at the edge of the hazard plates; unable to help himself, he took hold of her elbows, speaking quickly while giving her a multi-pass look over. “What were you doing?? That was insane! What would you have done if you’d missed a bar?? I know those leaves are soft but a fall like that–”

Stunned for a moment by the sudden contact, Jenn’s hands moved out of reflex to protect herself, turning over to break his grip and shove his own away–-she stopped at holding one palm to his face, fingers pointing in a way that warned him about his eyes and nose being vulnerable targets. Had he been human that is. Her other hand was tucked against her side, cuffed and waiting in a striking position; it settled quickly, a fraction of a minute, as she snapped out of her automatic self-defense and took a step back.

Occasionally sparring with Moon was paying off it seemed, as he recognized motions as being defensive in nature, though Sun wasn’t very happy to know he’d triggered a fight response by being overbearing. Hands snapping away, he also took a half step back to disengage, eyes wide. “I’m sorry!” The apology tumbled out with the same frantic tone as his worries. “I didn’t mean to touch you! I–I was worried, I–”

Expression changing from blank shock to confusion, Jenn snapped, “Why?” cutting off his fumbling apology.

“Why…?”

“I do this all the time,” she reiterated, forcing her body to relax fully. “I train to do this. Did you not hear me?”

“No, I…” Taking a steadying breath, Sun brought his voice under some amount of control. “I did, I just didn’t know what that… entailed. Seeing you just… walk off the edge of a platform that high… that’s not something I see people do. I got scared.”

“No, I understand that.”

He was more confused now.

“Why do you care?”

“Huh?”

Eyes flicking up and down him with a wary glint, she shuffled her footing, seeming almost uncomfortable at the idea. “You don’t know me, we are not friends. If I got hurt, you could just take my house and live your life.”

Sun was appalled.

“Why do you care if I fall and get hurt?”

Voice fractured with concern, Sun clipped out, “You’re a human?? ”

“And?”

“And?? What and?? Beyond the fact my base programming is literally made to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of the humans around me?? Because isn’t that what people do?? Keep each other safe??” More and more, Sun’s voice was getting away from him, rising and straining with the desire to fracture under his barely contained stress. That isn’t how he wanted to crack–-he didn’t want to crack at all!

This seemed to shake loose the stiff posture Jenn had been holding herself in as she realized the tall robot was genuinely beginning to break down into a panic attack. What do I do-–shekt! Stepping forward, Jenn tried to reach toward Sun but he flinched back, causing her to freeze. “Hey!” she barked loudly, managing to shake him from the spiral with the sudden sound. “I-–I’m fine, right?” Placing a hand over her chest, Jenn tried again to reach out. “I’m alright. And… you’re right, I should… be more careful. I just can’t be. I have a high-risk job, so I don’t get to wait for help. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but I’ve survived like this for years. I’m fine.”

HUD flashing a collection of warnings, Sun focused on the hand nearing him–-five fingers--the color of the grass--green-–gazing up slightly, he saw the blue of Jenn’s irises once again. Bright blue.

Soft.

A warm hand touched his chest, gentle and slow, the pressure giving him a place to focus on that wasn’t within his own chaotic mind. Peering down between himself and her worried expression, Sun saw the light flashing under his shirt and that Jenn’s gaze was drawn to it; intended as an aesthetic feature, the feature built into his chest had more than once gotten him in trouble for being distracting. In some effort to imitate a human heartbeat, Sun’s makers installed a frosted panel on his left pectoral shaped like a stylized heart and made to glow in time to his system pulse whenever he felt strong emotions. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t consistent, often flaring up when it wasn’t supposed to–-when he was uncomfortable, in most cases.

And afraid.

It was that inconsistency that forced them to deactivate the command when they first caught a break in their escape effort. “A high risk of blowing our cover,” as Moon put it–-and Sun obeyed–-but it hadn’t activated before now, even after Jenn rebooted them. So why now? There was no way to know at the moment why it chose now to make itself known, but it did serve to keep him focused on something long enough for his exhaust cycle to correct itself, forcing a sense of calm to blanket his system.

The light had been unexpected, drawing Jenn’s focus despite her best effort to stay on task to calm the panicking robot; she’d seen the panel and known what it was for during diagnostics, however it hadn’t been used until now. Whichever series of circumstances needed to activate it weren’t something she’d looked into, but now it was clear it at least responded to distress. Intense distress. Both of them seemed drawn to the waning and growing pulse of white light, measuring it as it slowed and faded to a reasonable level before fully going dark.

Grateful he’d been spared from a full meltdown by happenstance, Sun exhaled slowly and steadily, laying his hand over Jenn’s carefully to not trigger another defensive reaction. That was all the farther he got, however, before she beat him to the apology. “I’m sorry.” Just as gently, her other hand covered his as if trying to reassure him she was truly alright.

“You don’t need to–”

A sharp glint as her eyes snapped to his stopped him cold. “I will not apologize for what I did because I will do it again, but I am going to apologize for not warning you better.” She took a moment to relax her expression a bit when it grew stern. “I’ve gotten used to the kinds of people who do this sort of stuff as well, they don’t bat an eye at playground equipment like this.”

Calling these giant thingamajigs ‘playground equipment’ was not something he agreed on, but he kept that to himself.

“I also apologize for not considering you might be afraid of heights–”

This time, Sun was able to cut her off, nearly laughing at the odd conclusion. “I’m not afraid of heights! I was afraid of you falling!”

Pulling her hand away, Jenn folded her arms. “I still don’t know why you’d bother but… well, it’s good you don’t have issues being up high. Whenever you get on your way, you’ll want to be prepared for climbing things.”

The reminder of departing threatened to bring the stress back to the surface if he didn’t distract himself quickly. “Actually!” Pointing to the empty overhang, Sun scrambled for anything to keep from thinking of the future ahead of them. “I was going to ask what that was for! I can’t tell what it is.”

Following his finger, Jenn ‘hm’ed before answering. “It was supposed to be a long climbing rope but I never got around to finishing the actual rope part.”

“So you can hang something from it safely?”

“Yep. Everything here might look questionable but it was built by a friend of mine with engineering experience so it’s up to par.”

It took all his effort to keep his question to himself about her admitting to having friends somewhere. “Is… there any chance maybe we could tie something up there…?” Curious, Jenn tilted her head again; he likened this expression to a confused animal. Sun tapped the tips of his forefingers together. “I really like silk dancing, it’s… relaxing. I figured it might also help me with my …” Gesturing to himself loosely, the golden bot struggled to find the right way to ask this favor, already prepared to be denied. “... this balance issue. But if not–”

Jenn shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

Sun fumbled a bit at the end, unprepared for her approval. There was no sensible way to respond he could come up with other than, “Ah… thank you!”

“I’ve got some leftover fabric at the house, can you sew? I’m sure if you fasten the ends together it’ll hold up pretty well.”

It was never so easy to get a request approved of at the estate, especially the first time it was asked. A flicker of elation coursed through his circuits, a soft pulse of light following suit. “I can, yes!”

“C’mon, then.” Waving him after her, Jenn turned and began the trek back to the house.

As they cleared the wobbling stones and reached the tree line, Sun caught the motion of Jenn untying her skirt, then rubbing her lower back closest to her tailbone. Fearing she actually was hurt from her ‘exercise’, he reflexively inquired, “Are you alright?” hoping it was nothing too worrisome.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just wishing I had a tail.”

“... excuse me?”

Truly, she was a baffling human.

~

“Ee!”

The little pink thing sat on the rail, crouched and ready to spring at him at a moment’s notice. Moon stared it down, faintly amused but mostly inconvenienced by the sudden appearance of Twii. After satisfying the ‘pet me�� quota for both the avian, Aquila, and the canine, Rukbat–-who’d charged up the steps the moment he saw the bird getting attention from the blue robot-–Moon left the roosting platform with the intention to go inside. This meant coming back to the junction of doors that had vexed him previously; on the left, the unlocked kitchen, on the right, the mystery door that the canine had managed to slip into when he’d walked away last.

For a moment, he’d debated trying his hand at getting in again, but to his own surprise it was dismissed faster than it had come up. Was there truly a reason to go prying into the human’s personal business beyond his own unjustified paranoia? Paranoia that was being proven to be ridiculous again and again.

No.

There was no real reason. Perhaps he’d try this ‘benefit of the doubt’ thing the human-–Jenn-–mentioned. Starting by using their names, at least.

It was not a canine–-he was Rukbat.

It was not a bird–-she was Aquila.

The human was Jenn.

The blots of color–

No sooner had he thought of them, Moon felt something smack into his head with a chirp, dragging him from his thoughts. Moving quickly, he took hold of the bundle on his head and brought it into view, not expecting to see the pink pocket computer kicking against his grip and squeaking at him defiantly. “What the halt–”

A tug on his shirt collar made him spin, losing his grasp on the small robot so she could get away. Turning back, Moon saw the pink blur land on the handrail, tail held up to enforce the authority of the chirp she gave him. Scowling, he folded his arms. “Do we have a problem?”

“Ee!”

Whatever that meant, he couldn’t comprehend. Most of him didn’t care to figure it out either. Huffing, the dark robot spoke, more so to fill the silence than to willfully engage in one-sided conversation. “I commend your effort at protecting your owner’s privacy but I don’t think it’ll work as well as you think it does.”

Twii hopped forward once, the end of her tail pulsing. “Ee–eeee! E!”

“Look, I’m not actually trying to break in this time, so–”

Overhead, a different squeak interrupted him, pulling his attention up. Head poking out over the edge of the roof, Laa peeped sternly, “Aa.”

Well, that explains what yanked on me. Looking between the pair for any sign of what they were trying to accomplish, Moon imitated the purple blur with rhetorical flatness, “Ah?”

Laa’s gaze narrowed at him. “A.”

What’s that look for? Did I say something offensive?

“Eeeee…!”

Turning again, Moon’s brows shot up–-Twii clung onto the rail for dear life, little arms wrapped as far around the rail as she could get them, unable to find purchase for her feet on the smooth metal. Quickly but gently, the blue dancer leaned over and cupped his hand, scooping the small bot up before she could fall. Sluggishly, Twii curled into his palm, the end of her tail pulsing weakly; as he observed her with growing worry, her facial screen blinked to a red bar. “Your battery!” he blurted, realizing sharply she hadn’t attacked him, she’d fallen when her magnetic lifting function shut off!

“A.” Laa floated down from the roof, her expression only reading as ‘finally’.

“Where’s your charging dock?” Moon inquired, holding the pink companion protectively against his chest.

Laa pointed toward the kitchen door with a quiet, “A,” before zipping toward it. Following quickly, Moon tailed the small unit through the kitchen, down the hall and into the lounge; Laa banked left at the entryway, stopping over a small end table with a circular charging dock in the middle tucked into the corner of the narrow room. How he never noticed it before now was beyond him, but at least it wasn’t locked behind the impassable doors that continued to taunt him. Ever so carefully, Moon placed the pink twin on the dock, nudging her tail into place so all of her was in contact with the transfer pad; the dock lit up with blue-white light, the red bar flashing on Twii’s face switching to a white indicator the second after.

A breath escaped him as relief filled his system; had he really been stressing over a recharge? Shaking his head at his own odd behavior, Moon’s eyes found and followed Laa as she approached her sister, sitting patiently without climbing onto the dock directly. She felt his gaze and looked up at him, unreadable as always.

“A.”

“You’re welcome.” With nothing else to do, Moon began to rifle through one of the many piles of notes that filled the corners of Jenn’s house, trying to find something worth reading. “I don’t suppose you know what was in that big binder she was looking for, do you?”

He didn’t expect an answer he could understand, only hearing another, “Aa,” that meant nothing to him.

The stapled pamphlet in his hands had a timestamp in the corner from roughly three months ago; the rest of it was a series of figures and formulas regarding an aurora anomaly that he barely understood at a glance. Putting it back, Moon paced around in a small circle. What were we even doing three months ago…? he wondered, attention continually returning to the recharging Stardust when his thoughts slowed.

Three months felt more like three years.

There was no other way to really explain the sensation as he combed through the memory files that weren’t lost or locked away; even though he knew what the passage of time felt like and could measure it using Adir Standard Intervals, there was a lingering disconnect between fact and feeling that he struggled to reconcile. More and more Moon felt a wall building between himself and the outside world. At first it was barely noticeable, done with such insidious slowness that only by looking back could he feel a marked difference in not only his own behavior, but how he related to things around him. To people.

To his own brother.

Three months ago, the two of them still found quiet solace in the garden, enjoying the scant hours they were allowed outside without supervision. Observe the flowers, but never pick them. Enjoy the cygnus birds, but never disturb them. Walk the designated path, never cut across the grass–-they only made that mistake once.

Afterward, Sun was so terrified to deviate from the sidewalk, he’d stopped walking through the yard altogether. Only because of their Lock was Moon able to prevent him from gaining a phobia of grass entirely with how distraught he was once they were reunited–-not that it was new by that point. Moon himself was well aware that their owner was not a kind woman no matter how she tried to portray herself to the public. Purely by the power of his own denial, Sun bought into her kind words–-though that may have been out of self-preservation, thinking back on it. The grass incident was the tipping point, Moon felt, for his brother developing fear of that woman in place of affection or devotion. The excuses had stopped, their disagreements about fairness turned into mutual understanding, but the outdoors had lost its appeal.

It’s not like they ever left the garden anyway.

Now, though, Moon understood better what they were missing out on–-what had been denied them this entire time by that woman’s obsessive desire to smother them. Even that behavior was beginning to make sense to him in hindsight, much as he detested the idea of understanding that vile woman; she was trying to keep them naive, dependent and, this being merely speculation on his part, Moon had a worry that Vissara had been trying to condition them–-or at least Sun–-into being afraid to go outside altogether.

If Sun refused to go outdoors out of fear of stepping on the grass, then Moon wouldn’t go either.

Thankfully, their bond was stronger than Vissara’s manipulation.

However, it was not strong enough to prevent his own mental state from degrading. Disliking his owner was something Moon had within him from nearly the beginning, despite that being considered odd. Something in her mannerisms and behaviors simply didn’t sit right, but the dislike didn’t truly set in until he noticed how restrictive she was. How fixated she was on Sun and on keeping his attention on herself. How she didn't care that those actions were actively harming them both--how much of his own distress he chose to hide from her to avoid making it worse on them.

It turned out he had every reason to despise her.

But now, they were free. Mostly.

Free to travel, to learn, to do whatever they wished–-assuming his dear brother didn’t get attached to the first human showing them common decency. Not that Moon could blame him really, it was literally programmed into their core identity to seek out human company and attempt to fulfill their wishes. To care for them. Please them. Earn their approval.

Yet it still baffled him that his brother didn’t just ignore that urge like he did. He’d long given up that argument as simply being Sun’s nature.

At least it was up until three months ago–

The nagging sensation surged forward from the depths of his mind, bowling over any thoughts currently meandering through his processes to blanket everything with a haze that demanded attention while smothering any attempt to pull free. Three.

Three.

Three months ago, he and Sun would sit in the garden.

He and Sun.

Three weeks ago, he and Sun were preparing–

Error.

–preparing?

Three weeks.

Three–

Moon’s head throbbed painfully as memories attempted to open but couldn’t.

Preparing…

He and Sun.

He… and Sun.

Sun.

Sun.

ERROR.

/MEMORY FILE INACCESSIBLE/

>Reboot?

No!

Light flooded over Moon’s circuits, his pulse points flashing–-everything hurt.

Sun?

What about Sun?

>Reboot?

“NO!”

The sound of his own voice ripped him out of his mental frenzy, bringing Moon back to the moment; everything spun and wobbled, felt wrong.

A dull roar filled the room, as if--

“... Why am I underwater…?”

Roiling around the dark dancer was a bubble, the light of his pulse casting a glimmer through the surface that made him think of stardust in the Sky-Beyond-the-Sky. But it shouldn’t be there! Taking a few breaths to force his system to regulate, Moon tried to recall the water, dismissing it from the room. It was a struggle for a moment. Hopefully nothing was damaged.

“That… isn’t normal,” he told himself, rubbing a hand over his face once everything settled.

“A.”

Turning, Moon caught the unimpressed eye of Laa watching him from the table. A tired chuckle escaped him. “You saw that, didn’t you?”

“Aa-a,” the small computer replied.

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

Laa slow blinked at him.

“Let’s not tell your mom I nearly ruined her upholstery, alright?”

“Aa.”

[kawarikisaki]

I mean the supernatural and super powered people exist in DCMK so it could be lowkey canon. Agreed about the “Why you do it?” Being his catchphrase is nice support but what convinced me is his immediate understanding about how Aoko was feeling and trying to help her feel better. He a stranger picked up on her feelings before her childhood friend did. Do you think it helps him with Watson?

I do agree that it could just quietly be canon, but I also think that there's not really enough overt evidence to really say that. I'm the kind of person that's really picky about that sort of thing, I'm willing to move away from canon but I always try to use it as the basis for things.

So with regards to empathic Hakuba I tend to treat it as a less supernatural kind of empathy unless the story that I'm trying to tell is one more magically inclined, but then on the flipside, if I am trying to tell a story where the supernatural is on the forefront then I will make it a supernatural empathy.

As for the bit with Aoko, he picked up her feelings yes, but I don't think he did before Kaito. Kaito knew how she felt but and didn't respond anyway, that's the dynamic between them- Aoko tends to invite Kaito places and he always complains but then goes along with it in the end and tries to make sure that she has a good time. It's more or less Kaito's nature to not be honest with his own feelings; he knows she wants him to go with her, he wants to go too, but he can't say it, and it's easier to just follow the status quo. To pretend that she wore him down until begrudgingly he promises to come along. To not show how much he really cares. So what does that mean for our slightly socially awkward empath? He read them both, he doesn't know the details of their history together, but it's plain to see that they both care about each other and want to spend time together, and also fairly easy to see that if things keep up as they are with Aoko feeling like the only one that cares then things would end with one of them getting hurt. And with that information he tries to make Kaito show that he does care, and tries to make Aoko feel wanted.

But anyway.... Watson.~

If it's just normal human empathy then it's probably not a huge help, but when we take the more supernatural direction then it absolutely does, in several different ways.

The exact details would vary a bit depending on just how strong of an empath he is. Is he just getting a vague sense of emotions or is he getting it fairly clearly? What kind of range does he have? Can he pick out who the emotions are coming from or does it all kind or blur together? Can he project emotions of his own back or is it purely one-sided? For people that he's established some kind of bond with can he trace that to get a sense of how they feel even if they aren't nearby? My answers to these questions are all flexible, and vary based on my mood or again what story I'm trying to tell. And those answers are of course going to effect how this ability changes how he interacts with Watson.

To start with, it's probably way easier to train an animal if you have a solid understanding of how they feel. Way easier to condition responses if you understand how motivating different kinds of treats are, or if you can pick up on when they're feeling particularly attentive and when that attention drifts.

I like to think that animals probably 'feel' different than humans when it comes to empathy. So then it might be easy for Hakuba to pick up on it when Watson sees something that feels like a cause for concern, or helpful for Hakuba to try to focus on Watson's feelings instead when humans are overwhelming him.

If he can project his own emotions as well, then it becomes a basic form of communication between him and Watson, and depending on the range I can see a lot of ways it can be used to achieve different things.

But that's where I'm gonna end this one.

[thiefofcrows-a]

I have some Headcanons for Kaz to share in reference to his trauma / haphephobia. A couple of them involve vague mentions of ~intimate situations~. Also updating this a bit from the last time.

It's never really explicitly mentioned in the books, but I suspect blood is one of his triggers—although fresh blood isn't as much of an issue as I think it has a lot to do with scent rather than the physical sensation of it. It's the sickeningly sweet, rotting coppery scent and if he's stuck with it on him long enough, it can easily lead to a panic attack, getting physically sick and/or a fainting spell. It's also very likely the reason why the only time he gets someone's blood all over him is either when it's a last resort or when he just .... loses his cool, which doesn't happen very often. In SOC when he rips that guys' eye out, they change POV after Kaz goes bellow deck to clean himself off and stuff and like ..... I think about that a lot. Might write a drabble abt it some time, who knows.

His reactions to getting badly triggered are within a certain range and it depends on a lot of things, but - symptoms include severe shaking and panic attacks, breaking out in a cold sweat, hallucinations, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, exhaustion and/or fainting. His natural response for this is also very severely in flight, so he is most likely to get tf out of the situation if he's able to.

When/if Kaz gradually starts to work through his touch aversion issues in order to be able to physically touch someone casually or intimately, he is ... very intense once he's comfortable. Because of his aversion, he's also very touch starved, which becomes immediately obvious very quickly in that case.

I think, when it comes to kissing someone, that is likely one of the easier things to work through for him simply because of how stark the contrast is. Like, the heat of someone's mouth, the intimacy of being able to hear and feel someone's breathing, feel how very much alive they are. And for that reason, it becomes pretty immediately apparent how much he enjoys it once he gets there.

One of the ways he keeps himself grounded during situations with any bare physical contact is being able to feel someone's pulse, which he can do by either feeling for it by resting his hand on their throat / pressing his thumb against their pulse point there, doing the same on their wrist(s) or their chest.

However, something important to note; it will absolutely take a lot of tries, trial and error, for Kaz to be able to work through these things. Depending on where we are in the timeline, he is probably going to have several panic attacks along the way and it's gonna be a rough start; it's especially going to be complicated and very, very meaningful for him to allow someone to be anywhere near him when that happens too, so it'll require a ton of thorough plotting. I don't mind skipping ahead, as long as we thoroughly discuss and establish the difficulty in Getting There.

On that note, I also firmly believe that Kaz achieving his goal of not only getting Pekka tf out of his city but just ... bringing him down to his knees and getting his revenge was a much needed step for him re: his healing process. Kaz is no longer hastily covering his infected wound with a shitty band-aid, where every single time he brushes up against it, he gets fucked up. Post CK, it's a scarred over wound that will always be there and it causes him pain and difficulty still, but ... overall, things are a little easier. I mean, not always and he has his ups and downs, but ... he's doing better.

I will also say that, as someone on the asexual spectrum myself, I am 5000% very, very flexible about what intimacy would mean for him. Smut does not have to happen for Kaz to be intimate with someone; literally him letting someone hold his hand is a very huge indication of intimacy for him okay. There's a part of him that deeply, deeply struggles with shame regarding his trauma and limitations because of it, so. Someone eventually knowing What Happened and insisting on giving him the space and patience that he needs and/or being like "you don't actually have to Ever btw" despite his stubborn attitude sigh lmao is 👌👌

Kaz's struggles with touch will never fully be gone, no matter how much he works through it. There will still be days where he can't handle physical contact and there will be days where he's handling things just fine but the slightest thing twists the wrong way and he has a panic attack or can't touch anyone for hours or the rest of the day, ect. It's always going to be there in the back of his mind, being considered with everything he does. And, even with working through it to be able to touch Certain People or Someone In Particular, he still won't be able to deal with it casually, with people he doesn't know well or trust. It's especially Bad if it's not anticipated.

[thiefofcrows]

       I have some Headcanons for Kaz to share in reference to his trauma / haphephobia. A couple of them involve vague mentions of ~intimate situations~. Also updating this a bit from the last time.

It's never really explicitly mentioned in the books, but I suspect blood is one of his triggers—although fresh blood isn't as much of an issue as I think it has a lot to do with scent rather than the physical sensation of it. It's the sickeningly sweet, rotting coppery scent and if he's stuck with it on him long enough, it can easily lead to a panic attack, getting physically sick and/or a fainting spell. It's also very likely the reason why the only time he gets someone's blood all over him is either when it's a last resort or when he just .... loses his cool, which doesn't happen very often. In SOC when he rips that guys' eye out, they change POV after Kaz goes bellow deck to clean himself off and stuff and like ..... I think about that a lot. Might write a drabble abt it some time, who knows.

His reactions to getting badly triggered are within a certain range and it depends on a lot of things, but - symptoms include severe shaking and panic attacks, breaking out in a cold sweat, hallucinations, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, exhaustion and/or fainting. His natural response for this is also very severely in flight, so he is most likely to get tf out of the situation if he's able to.

When/if Kaz gradually starts to work through his touch aversion issues in order to be able to physically touch someone casually or intimately, he is ... very intense once he's comfortable. Because of his aversion, he's also very touch starved, which becomes immediately obvious very quickly in that case.

I think, when it comes to kissing someone, that is likely one of the easier things to work through for him simply because of how stark the contrast is. Like, the heat of someone's mouth, the intimacy of being able to hear and feel someone's breathing, feel how very much alive they are. And for that reason, it becomes pretty immediately apparent how much he enjoys it once he gets there.

One of the ways he keeps himself grounded during situations with any bare physical contact is being able to feel someone's pulse, which he can do by either feeling for it by resting his hand on their throat / pressing his thumb against their pulse point there, doing the same on their wrist(s) or their chest.

However, something important to note; it will absolutely take a lot of tries, trial and error, for Kaz to be able to work through these things. Depending on where we are in the timeline, he is probably going to have several panic attacks along the way and it's gonna be a rough start; it's especially going to be complicated and very, very meaningful for him to allow someone to be anywhere near him when that happens too, so it'll require a ton of thorough plotting. I don't mind skipping ahead, as long as we thoroughly discuss and establish the difficulty in Getting There.

On that note, I also firmly believe that Kaz achieving his goal of not only getting Pekka tf out of his city but just ... bringing him down to his knees and getting his revenge was a much needed step for him re: his healing process. Kaz is no longer hastily covering his infected wound with a shitty band-aid, where every single time he brushes up against it, he gets fucked up. Post CK, it's a scarred over wound that will always be there and it causes him pain and difficulty still, but ... overall, things are a little easier. I mean, not always and he has his ups and downs, but ... he's doing better.

I will also say that, as someone on the asexual spectrum myself, I am 5000% very, very flexible about what intimacy would mean for him. Smut does not have to happen for Kaz to be intimate with someone; literally him letting someone hold his hand is a very huge indication of intimacy for him okay. There's a part of him that deeply, deeply struggles with shame regarding his trauma and limitations because of it, so. Someone eventually knowing What Happened and insisting on giving him the space and patience that he needs and/or being like "you don't actually have to Ever btw" despite his stubborn attitude sigh lmao is 👌👌

Kaz's struggles with touch will never fully be gone, no matter how much he works through it. There will still be days where he can't handle physical contact and there will be days where he's handling things just fine but the slightest thing twists the wrong way and he has a panic attack or can't touch anyone for hours or the rest of the day, ect. It's always going to be there in the back of his mind, being considered with everything he does. And, even with working through it to be able to touch Certain People or Someone In Particular, he still won't be able to deal with it casually, with people he doesn't know well or trust. It's especially Bad if it's not anticipated.

[interdimensional-ship]

… Given the vague answer, she’s going to assume the specifics aren’t something they wish to talk about. At all. Fair enough; some beings were created to do things they aren’t proud of. Others are unhappy about their position relative to their function. She wouldn’t deny that there are aspects of her own existence which are upsetting, and would likely be to others as well. This is exactly the reason she made sure it was clear she wouldn’t mind an unclear, or even non-answer.

Still… Something about their words seemed off, somehow. Not in a way the construct could place, exactly, but that nonetheless bothered her. Perhaps it was simply due to her lack of information. Better not to question it now; she has something else she would like to say.

“>I suppose we are alike, in that sense. But I don’t understand what makes deviating from one’s initial purpose abnormal, at least when continuing to live it out isn’t possible. Change is part of life; adaptability in regard to it is part of existing as a sentient being. Sometimes that change is minor, like a product you used to produce gaining a new competitor. Other times the change is far greater than you ever could have anticipated, and there is no choice but to find a way to navigate it. The capacity to think means we are far more flexible than mere tools, in the grand scheme of things.”

There are many examples she could give of the latter possibility, were they not more likely to result in a tangent than cement the point she was making. Even without them, it’s clear this is a topic she feels rather strongly about. Or at the very least she just has a lot to say on the matter.

“>The way I see things… What we are made for isn’t necessarily our purpose; purpose is something chosen, not given. Our design gives us a direction to pursue the answer to that question, and may even make it clear what someone else wants us to do. While it may mean we are not as free as most to choose what to do, just by virtue of being more specialized for a specific task to begin with, it doesn’t mean other activities are impossible. If you cannot do what was desired of you, and nobody is there to keep telling you how to exist… What then? When given the choice, is it not normal to try to do something else, rather than nothing? Even if one hasn’t stopped doing what was asked of them, as beings capable of thought, would it not be understandable to consider other options, if what we are doing is unfulfilling? Even when doing so may bring consequences?”

Looks like she feels strongly and has plenty to say. Perhaps it’s just because having the opportunity to say this to someone who wouldn’t have a more or less “well, duh” reaction isn’t one that arises very often. Someone else who doesn’t come from a place where ‘be yourself’ and ‘follow your dreams’ are such common phrases, they are spoken without explanation.

“>… Thinking about doing other things beyond what you are specifically made for is normal. That much I know. Though it may not apply to you, I also know everyone who ever sought to stop me from doing so were acting solely with their own interest in mind. They would have sooner thrown me away— well, they tried to, actually, long story short that’s how I’m even here these days— than relinquish the control they had.”

… Sounds like she’s finished with that now.

In the Starcutter’s defense, she was just listing off random examples, not necessarily making suggestions. She isn’t clueless about the existence of Dark Matters. If anything, it’d be more difficult to not know of them now that she lives on Popstar. Plus, people come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and colors. Given the fact that her vision is the way it is— constantly blurry and out of focus, save for what’s just beyond her dome— it’s probably not a good idea to assume every shadowy blob of a person is a Dark Matter. That just seems like it’d end badly for a variety of reasons.

As for whether she even would have acted differently if she could make out what they were… Odds are, any changes would have stemmed not from her own thoughts, but instead how Blade responded to her recognition. This is not her first time meeting or speaking to one of their kind. From what she has gathered, at least a portion of Dark Matters’ reputation is based on actions that were not entirely their choice. Even if the outcome is the same and not something to ignore, she isn’t one to disregard the distinction between what is done freely and what is done under the command of someone else. Perhaps that is a selfish sort of perspective— one born from her own knowledge that she, too, was once used to attempt harm, albeit at a time she was not conscious… Point is, judgement passed without observation is often poorly founded, especially when accompanied by expectations of mindless violence or aggression. As someone literally built for conducting research, that is a mistake she would prefer to avoid.

In short, she knows enough to understand the misgivings of others, but she herself is unafraid.

… Though, admittedly, if she had known this was the same Dark Matter who had previously played a crucial role in at least one attack on Popstar, the ship would have been far more cautious. She has witnessed the lasting effects possession can have on someone, after all. While the AI herself is practically immune to it, the risk of potentially putting someone else in harm’s way is not one she is willing to take. At the same time, however, she is too curious to simply ignore such a chance meeting, and well aware that time can change a person, as can the opportunity to exist near someone else without being immediately threatened. Besides, what better place to get information to compare with what is already known than from the source? What would the Swordsman have to say, if anything? How would they be doing now that their leader is gone? Would their loyalty be strong regardless, or would they reveal it had faltered now that they are more or less free to do as they please? Would they feel lost? Alienated? Angry, depressed, numb? Nothing at all, too much to process?

Alas, due to someone else’s failure to perform a proper calibration, instead of the knowledge that she’s currently speaking to someone with a very interesting history, she gets to have the visual acuity of a Philip Barlow painting. Isn’t that nice?

Of course, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have other things to say. It’ll just be less specific in nature.

“>Glad to assist. For something that seems so obvious to others, hobbies are one of those subjects that can be difficult to really understand if you’ve not been made aware of them already for any reason. I suppose they come so naturally to the average person that it’s not something anyone really knows how to easily explain without putting a lot of thought into it.”

>And so instead of actually explaining, most places make a list of examples, which can be helpful unless none of them really apply to you, or you just want a general idea of what constitutes a hobby versus an interest, and then you can’t really just ask someone what a hobby is and expect a better answer because everyone assumes the concept is one you already intrinsically understand to some degree and just need to attach a word to… It’s not even all that complicated to describe once you have it figured out in a semi-objective sense. Oh well, at least back then I had ways to get some kind of direction in understanding it. Maybe it’s good luck that I was here so their question could be answered without having to navigate the maze of the internet or struggle alone if that isn’t an option for them…

Though her pause for thought lasted only seconds, Lor soon decides to make her own inquiry. A question for a question seems fair, right? Though hers might be a little more complicated…

“>If this isn’t too personal of a question… What kind of situation are you coming from? I haven’t met many others who needed confirmation on something like that… I suppose you could say I’m just curious about how similar your circumstances are to the ones I once found myself in. If you’re comfortable sharing, that is.”

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 206

In which I relentlessly mock Sophia for being nosy, while also addressing some of the questions @baelpenrose, @quantumizedinsanity, and @writing-with-olive brought up when the last chapter featuring Noah was being written. And some other questions that came up in my own mind while I tried to go to sleep several nights in a row, because hyperfocusing on the plot is what I do to combat insomnia.

Reader shoutout this week is for @nicestpamkale.

Extra shoutout for everyone who has been suffering through my drawing skills while I tackle Inktober 2022.  To the three very nice people who alerted me that someone is stealing my posts.... GOSH I wish. Unfortunately, I’m posting the art both here and on my main blog, @areasontobreathe.

Help request: I got xkit for Firefox, but can’t find the plug in to build my tag clusters so I don’t have to type out all the tags. If you know where I can get it, please PM me!

After leaving Arthur’s office, I felt compelled to meddle.  Asshole could have just told me, I sulked while fervently hoping that Simon figured out that Nixe was somewhat interested in him.  Adding to my pout was the fact that Arthur had been spot on - Teeth was already adopted, and the only thing I could do was ask Charly or Nixe if either knew exactly why their goblin had been hanging upside down so much. After that, it was in their capable hands.

To burn off some energy, I decided to walk the ship.  I had several hours of spare time, and this could be counted as cardio. After all, the Ark was huge, Tyche and Charly were both at work, and it was my off shift.  A couple hours of meandering were very much overdue.

I made it a whopping four decks before realizing there was a massive presence rather close to me. “Geezus, Noah.” Jumping, a hand landed on my sternum as I tried to calm down. “Warn a girl next time.”

“I was not aware your proximity alert was disabled.”

Waving vaguely at my head, I explained. “I’m walking through the ship during a busy time of day.  My options are mute it and assume that bystanders will see anything crazy, or let it keep going off for hours on end.”

Four blunt appendages flew up in an approximation of a human surrender. “Administrator Costa has demonstrated the auditory equivalent of the alert. I believe I understand why you would temporarily disable it.”

My hand swept flat in a pretty standard there ya go. “Can I help you?”

“I would like to hear your thoughts regarding the recent proposal.”

Oh.

“Well then, walk with me.” The smile plastered on my face was less forced than I had expected it to be. “I actually did have some questions, so your timing is perfect.”

“The previous discussion was quite brief, as I understand it in human terms, so inquiries are welcome if they will assist in decision making.”

“Awesome,” I exhaled. “I thought about it a lot, and really my biggest concern is… we’re talking about a life form that has lived solely on a starship for hundreds if not thousands of years.  Teeth only lived on one for about twelve, and they’re having a hard enough time adapting.  But on the other side, the comparisons I have available range from subsisting on plant collagen all the way to actually eating radioactivity and even high risk pollutants.  I can’t tell if the environment suggested will be too extreme or not extreme enough.”

“Tens of thousands of years would likely be most accurate, which further validates your concern.” A vomu gestured elegantly around us. “However, testing has shown they are able to survive and adapt quite quickly to the environment on the Ark, so estimates indicate that they will be fine on Von.”

“Even with the temperature extremes?” I pointed out. “Regardless of how flexibly the Ark is designed - and I mean, this ship is pretty awesome - humans have an incredibly broad range of tolerable temperatures.  It won’t be comfortable for us, but we can take it.  It’s the whole reason this planet was selected for our relocation - literally no one else could survive the damned thing, so it was free for colonization.”

That bought me about two decks of silence before one spidery hand started rubbing their eyespots. “I will admit, extensive testing has been done in the BioLabs to ensure the temperature range could be tolerated.”

I stopped abruptly. “How extensive?”

“Extensive enough to know that the aquaponics lab is tolerable and yet entirely unpleasant.”

“Steamy hot cow farts will do that…” I bopped my head for a moment in consideration. “That’s good, but there’s another issue: the hive mind sentience threshold.  As new bodies develop, will it be fast enough to replace the ones that are being worn out by any unexpected changes in environment?  Or will they at some point, however brief, lose sentience?  You pointed that out, yourself, when we realized that Else was allowing themself to die to keep from killing us.”

“There may or may not be several fully mature bodies already on the Ark from the environmental and temperature extremes testing.”

I groaned before continuing my walk. “Is there a percentage I should be asking about?”

“Working with our most recent information on the planet, enough. Given the age of the data?” They paused. Noah never paused, and my stomach sank. “Hopefully enough? Is that the term?”

Anxiety sped my steps up even further. “Shouldn’t you already know this? There has to be data somewhere. Or ancestral knowledge, or… I dunno, something. There’s no way y - this being could have existed for so long, and have no definite idea of what the exact threshold is.”

“In broad strokes, the information exists.  But in fine detail, less so.  It is apparently profoundly rare for one to go below the sentience threshold before reaching one which can absorb them to avoid the loss of knowledge. And in the cases where the loss has occurred - “

I waved off the rest of the sentence. “Yeah, I get it… can’t exactly report how many there were when you lost sentience if you’re not sentient anymore.”  I let the conversation lull for a bit, until we get to a less crowded area. “But why come to me? You and I weren’t even on speaking terms.”

“We spoke.”

“We were on speaking terms at the same level that I am on speaking terms with a food console.” The comparison was blunt, but accurate.  “You still have somewhat cordial relationship with several people. Hell, on the Council alone, you are on semi-social terms with Xiomara, Huynh, and Charly.”

“All of whom, as well as most others you could suggest, currently need to focus all of their spare energy on the tasks surrounding settlement on a new world.”

Figured.

“In addition to this,” Noah continued, “Due to the exact incident to which you are alluding, you feel a strong need to make amends, in addition to being the last person I would be expected to ask such a favor of.”

“Wooooooooowwwwwwww,” I drew out, half laughing. “You know how to make a girl feel special.”

Randomly picking an Else-chick off the wall, they stroked it gently before setting it on a limb. “Odvub is also interested in you, and I find that intriguing.”

“Odvub is fascinated by humans,” I corrected.

“Indeed. But you were the first human to inquire about even the potential of such a being, much less being able to identify a signal you were never expected, intended, or even conceivably believed capable of identifying. All by a pattern.  Odvub is fascinated by clever beings, I have found.”

Both of my hands raised over my head, and I twirled without stopping my forward progression. “Look around you, dude. The Ark has what might be the highest concentration of clever humans to ever exist. Sure, we’re assholes, bastards, and broken in mind, body, and soul, but we are very clever.”  My hands dropped, and I choked out in a whisper. “When you can’t escape, you don’t survive the end of your world without being clever.”

Thankfully, they let that statement pass without response. We walked for nearly half an hour before I spoke again.  “So, you told me because, of all the clever-ass people on the Ark, I’m the one who wasn’t busy.”

“It is an overly simplistic answer, but essentially correct.”

“Damn, Noah. I thought we were friends.”

“We were what humans would call ‘friends’. I would like to believe we still are.  However, I also consider other people on the Ark my ‘friend’, but I do not trust them to keep a secret. As I said previously, others, such as Charly, cannot be distracted.”

My pout was back. “I want to be really, really mad, but it’s really hard to be angry at being second-place to Charly.”

“She is incredibly likeable, unfortunately.  It’s terrifying.”

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[allegra-writes]

"Treacherous"

"Hopeless romantic" part II, can be read as a stand alone.

Previously | Next

Dark!Billy Russo x Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Somnophilia, rape/non-con, non consensual drugging, kidnapping.

MY MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE,

"Two headlights shine through the sleepless night

And I will get you, and get you alone

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I just think you should, think you should know

That nothing safe is worth the drive

And I will follow you, follow you home"

Treacherous - Taylor Swift

Billy had one mission: To get you into the van and get out of the city, to the private heliport where the chopper was ready to take you both out of New York, preferably without being stopped by the police, but he was a flexible man.

Besides, he thought, watching his leg bounce of its own accord, a little confrontation might help him burn some of the nervous energy he seemed to be overflowing with. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt such an adrenaline rush, the thrill of finally having you on his back seat, all pretty and tied up like a present, so close to being his forever, easily rivaled the ones he used to feel before particularly high-risk battles back with Cerberus. 

Only this time, it was better, because he wasn't doing it for money, or the promise of rank and status and luxury and all that shit Orange used to lure him in with. No, this time he had a much, much sweeter reward to look forward to...

He liked his lips in anticipation, sneaking a peak at your sleeping form in the rearview mirror. You were a vision, your skin, your hair, the way your lips parted invitingly… He cursed silently, feeling his cock stir inside his pants. Even in your sleep you were the perfect temptress. You made him weak just by breathing, just by existing. He had just had you less than an hour ago, how could he want you so badly again so soon? 

Soon, he told himself. Soon you'd both be out of this god forsaken city, out of this god forsaken country that hadn't appreciated what he had done for it nearly enough. Away from the so-called friends that had betrayed him, that wanted to keep you from him… 

You had been the one to come to him first, after all, back when he was still hurt and afraid, confused and alone at the hospital, his brain so jumbled up he had thought he was still in Afghanistan, that the mission had gone wrong and you were nursing him back to health, like you always had done. You had disobeyed the officer's rules of no touching, putting your warm little hands on his shoulders, kissing the top of his head above the bandages, showing him the first sliver of humanity he had gotten since he had woken up. The smell of your hair had gotten him hard that very first day, chamomile and honey, your favourite shampoo, like liquid sunshine. He had thrown a fit that day when the nurses had tried to change his bandages because he didn't want to lose your scent, the only trace of you he had. 

But now he had you whole, completely to himself, and the thought alone was enough to make him wild. 

He shook himself, trying to focus on the task at hand, on the drive. But his destination was so close, and there were still a couple hours to go before his helicopter departed… 

Billy chanced another look at the rearview mirror, to find your dress had ridden up your legs invitingly and your nipples were hard, straining against the light fabric in the cold night air, since, in his haste for leaving your apartment, he had failed to remember a jacket to cover you up. 

"Shit" 

The car swerved as he snapped. He parked right there on the side of the deserted street, vaguely thankful of how empty the warehouse district was so late at night, but knowing full well he wouldn't have given a fuck if he was in the middle of the fifth fucking avenue.

You have no impulse control Dr. Dumont's voice resonated in his head as he climbed into the back of the van, and it was all he could do before his hands were on you, hungerly caressing every inch of you he could reach. 

You didn't even stir, still deeply asleep, blissfully unaware of the monster hovering above you, unhinging his maw, about to swallow you whole. 

Billy, on his part, had just enough self awareness to register, somewhere inside the mess it was his mind, that something wasn't quite right with him. That he should be feeling like a creep, with his hands on your skin, tracing paths up and down your naked legs, easing your skirt up your thighs while you laid unconscious in his arms, powerless to stop him…

He didn't.

And so, he didn't stop, flipping your skirt over, hooking a finger around the crotch of your underwear, moving it to the side untying the two little bows that kept the straps of your dress in place, his heart thundering beneath his ribs at having you completely helpless and vulnerable, exposed in everywhere that mattered, the streetlight outside casting just enough clarity inside the van for him to have a clear view of his stolen, precious prize. 

He spread your knees to make room for his on the seat, and undid his zipper, the sound almost deafening in the quiet of the night. Taking himself out of his pants, he moaned in relief at the first stroke of his own hand, you had made him so hard it was painful. He thought he could come just like that, just watching your gorgeous tits rise and fall with every breath you took, he could paint white ribbons all over your chest, smear himself all over your skin, but what a waste that would be, when he had your tight little pussy right there for him to use and abuse, to fill up until you were dripping with him. 

Billy used his free hand to open your legs further, marveling like always at how soft, how delicate the skin of your inner thighs was. He wanted to rub his whole face against it, bask in the smooth texture, fall asleep there, between your legs… 

Soon, he repeated to himself. He would have time for that, and so much more. But for now, he contented himself with guiding your leg until it fell off the seat, give himself enough room to lean down and spit on your pussy, letting go of himself to spread the moisture over your tiny seam. He knew you were still probably loose enough from your earlier fucking, and wet enough inside from the remnants of his come, but he didn't want to accidentally hurt you.

At least not too much. 

He played with your pussy, circling your pearl, tracing first one of your outer lips, then the other, only to finally separate them, using his fingertips to keep you open as he spat on you again, letting his saliva trickle inside. 

He crawled up your body, one hand next to your head, bracing himself, the other guiding himself, aligning his cock with your entrance. Billy pushed forwards and suddenly he was diving, sinking, falling into you, a wounded, almost inhuman sound leaving his mouth at the feeling of your silky, hot, wet insides enveloping him, swallowing him whole. 

"My little bird" He whispered against your lips, free hand clutching your jaw, keeping you in place, "You feel like fucking Valhalla" 

Only then did he noticed your scrunched face, the sign of your discomfort, but your walls fluttered around his cock, as if sucking him in, trying to get him deeper into you, so he obliged, pulling back just a little, barely an inch, only to thrust back in, impaling you on his cock as far as he could go. 

Your sharp inhale was unmistakable, and he felt a surge of strange pride. He had always known you struggled just a little to accommodate him, that he was just on the edge of being too big for you. Now he felt as he was tearing your tight little pussy in half, that he could break you with just his cock and wasn't that the strangest power trip of his life? 

He started rocking inside you, muffling your little groans with his lips, cradling your face as he murmured soothing words,

"Shhh, it's ok princess… it'll get easier… you're doing so good for me… always so good for me" 

Soon, you were slick enough he was able to move faster and harder, snapping his hips against you, free hand coming up to squeeze at one of your breasts, hard, index finger pushing your nipple down. He knew that had you been awake, you would have screamed, bated his hand away. 

He chuckled,

"I could get used to this… fuck you in your sleep every night… make you my little fuckdoll…" 

You were starting to breathe harder, stirring in your uneasy sleep, the softest sounds leaving your slack mouth. 

"You like that too, don't you?.. want me to use you, fill you up with my come…" 

You arched against him, muscles locking, tensing up. Fuck, were you about to come? In your sleep, while he violated your body, just from his cock? You were, he could feel your walls closing around him, squeezing him so exquisitely… such an exquisite little fuck doll he had. He plunged his tongue into your mouth, another one of your holes perfectly opened and unguarded, his for the taking, just as he felt you shatter under him. 

But he kissed you too hard, too long, long enough for your lips to turn blue, and your lungs to burn, a rush of adrenaline kicking in to keep you alive. Dislodging from Billy's hold, you gasped for air. 

"Sorry, I'm sorry, princess" He apologized, gathering you in his arms, manoeuvring you till he was sitting up with you straddling his lap, "There. Now I won't smother you…" 

He could see the confusion in your glassy eyes, the way your brain, sluggish with drugs, tried to piece the jumble of memories together. Your gaze fell to your hands, still tied together by the black zip tie. Billy slid inside you right on time to see you finally make sense of the situation, to see the terror setting on your eyes. You tried to struggle in his embrace, but your limbs were too heavy, too weak for you to be able to do much more than land a few ineffective slaps against Billy's chest.  

His hand came up to tilt your chin, forcing you to look at him as he admonished you.

"None of that now. You gonna be a good girl and let me fuck you..." 

You fought to make your voice work, your tongue too swollen to properly bend around the words, but you managed to croak a slurred "No…" 

Billy ignored you, arm snaking around your back, slowly beginning to move your body on his cock as effortlessly as if you were weightless. 

Up and down, up and down...

The drag of his large cock against your insides sending involuntary sparks of sensation up and down your spine. 

Up and down, up and down…

He was measured in his movements, punishing, making you feel every ridge, every vein on his engorged shaft. 

Up and down, up and down…

He was trying to prove a point, even as he wondered if you would be able to understand it, much less remember it, out of it as you were.  

Up and down, up and down...

You whimpered, still trying to push him away from you.

"... Let me go" you begged, pitifully. Billy simply hugged you closer. 

"Never" He breathed against your cheek, "I'm never letting you go. You're mine. Mine to have, mine to love, mine to fuck…"

"N-no…" 

Up and down, up and down, faster, faster…

"You are" he dipped his head, biting into the soft flesh at the top of your breasts, "These tits are mine. This pussy," He emphasized with a particularly hard thrust up, "is mine…" 

You tried to break the embrace once again, you needed to escape, needed to put some distance between you, because your skin prickled anywhere it touched his, but he was too strong. 

Up and down, up and down, faster, harder... 

He was breathing hard against your neck, panting, and groaning, making you shiver in his arms. You hated it, hated the way you couldn't help the goosebumps breaking on your skin, the new wave of moisture coating his cock.

"Yeah, just like that, princess… give it to me"

Up and down. Up and down, harder, harder...

You cried out.

"Come for me, baby girl… come for me again" Billy smiled up at you, all predator, a shark. A beautiful monster fucking up into you, forcing your pleasure out of you against your will. You tried to break through the fog, fighting the drug. Frank. Curt. Your friends. Your life. Billy wanted to take all that away from you. 

"Did you know you came for me? In your sleep, just now… my little cockslut, craving my cock even unconscious…"

You tried to shake your head, but it just lolled back, bearing your neck to his hot, wet tongue. 

Up and down, up and down, up and down… 

Billy was thrusting up in earnest now, bouncing you on his lap, spurred on by the chorus of sighs, of "Uh, uh, uh" you didn't even notice making their way out your lips. There was a pang every time the tip of his cock hit your cervix, bruising you inside. Your eyes rolled back inside your head, your mind too overwhelmed by the mixture of pain and pleasure Billy was mercilessly forcing on you. You could feel it building despite yourself, the orgasm he demanded, stringing you taut, curling your toes. Billy pushed your body down, hips snapping up, growling his release, cock pumping his hot seed deep inside you and you finally snapped coming with a pained scream Billy echoed with one of his own at having you clutch his sensitised shaft. 

You fell forward, and he caught you, enveloping you with both his arms, placing sweet, reverent kisses on top of your head, your eyelids, your cheeks. Only then you realized he was kissing your tears away. 

"Shhhh… it's ok, baby girl. I got you now" 

You sobbed. Billy's arms tightened around you. "Did you feel that? We came together, do you know how rare is that? It means something" 

You wanted to scream at him that it didn't, that it was just timing. You wanted to lash out, push him away, punch him, something. Anything. 

Anything but fall asleep in your kidnapper's arms, lulled by his smell, by his warmth, the low gravel of his voice…

Billy felt the exact moment you relaxed onto him, feeling his heart swell, aching with tenderness. His little bird, his princess, right in his arms where she belonged. 

He would burn down the world before he let anyone take you away from him. 

He kissed your temple one more time. You didn't know yet, didn't realize, but he would make you see, he would make you feel it. 

"I know it means something…"  

Next part

[sporadicthingcollection]

What if Cad and Irno’s third “oops” baby ended up being twins instead of just one? Food for thought ;)

goddammit now the anons have a mindreading ray >:(

---

Sixteen hours. It took you sixteen hours to squeeze this baby out. But it's out, it's chirping up a storm, and Cad Bane is going to murder someone if he can't make it stop.

Bane pushes past Bambi and the Little Lady to get to you first -- you're his girl and you just had his baby. He should be the first to see you.

He can tell from the glassy eyes and the grin on your face that you're zonked out of your mind on painkillers. "Caaaad!" you warble. "Look what I made!"

You hold out the chirping bundle, and he takes it.

He'd been nervous since he found out you were pregnant again. He's an old man at this point; he shouldn't be fertile anymore. What if it wasn't his? What if you'd been unfaithful?

But all doubt vanishes when the itty bitty Duros cracks its eyes to squint at him. Something clicks in its mind and its eyes go wide, anxious little chirps escaping it as it tries to squirm out of its swaddle.

He can't help but crack a smile. "Easy, li'l one, easy." The chirps calm as he holds it to his chest. "Boy or girl?"

"'S a girl," you slur. "Sorry, Bambi."

Bambi, however, is the exact opposite of upset. He pumps his fist and turns to his sister, grinning. With a roll of her eyes, she passes him a handful of credits.

"I tolja," he says. "I tolja I tolja I tolja--"

"Bambi, shut up," Bane says gently. "Let yer momma rest. She's had a rough day."

You giggle. "Bambi. S'funny. Bambi lambi. Bambi pambi..."

Behind a curtain, he hears your mother. "She's been giggling for the last hour."

He hears Dr. Trenma, too. "This one's slightly underweight, but given her size, that's normal," she says.

Bane turns to show the older kids. Bambi squints his eyes at her. "She's... Really green."

"Dilated blood vessels," he says. "She'll blue up in a few hours."

The Little Lady sighs wistfully. "I wish I could have kids," she says.

"Fuck no ya don't!" you say. "Squeezin' you four out hurt like a bitch!"

He chuckles. They must have given you the really good stuff.

The Little Lady smiles a little, but something behind him catches her attention. She furrows her brows. "Uh, Daddy...?"

He's too enamoured with the Littlest Lady to look up. "What?"

Bambi looks up too. His expression mirrors his sister's. "Hey, that's..."

Someone clears their throat. He turns to see your mother holding another bundle while Dr. Trenma dries her hands on a towel.

Bane raises a brow. "Extra blankets?"

The other blankets chirp. Mrs. Favara approaches him, pulling back the corner. A second little Duros is dead asleep, its mouth slightly open.

He frowns at her. "And dis is...?"

"Your other daughter," she says with a smirk.

He looks over his shoulder. The Little Lady is standing right behind him. He jabs his thumb at her. "Mez is right dere," he says.

She keeps smirking. "Congratulations, you're the father of twins."

He turns to the doctor. "What's she on about?"

Dr. Trenma takes a deep, deep breath. "To make a long story short," she says, "the fertilized egg split at one point and two fetuses developed. Hence, two babies identical down to the nucleotides."

"Dat ain't possible. Ain't enough room in de egg fer two. Shell ain't flexible enough."

"For a Duros female, sure." She tosses the towel into a hamper. "Zeltrons, however, have very wide pelvises..."

"Birthin' hips!" you shout. "Thanks, Mom!"

Bane doesn't believe it. Refuses to believe it. He's only vaguely heard of a "twin" and never from a Duros. Some other Zeltron-Dutos couple must be here and your mother thought to put one over on him with it.

The second baby opens her eyes. Crimson peeks out, and she peers around as if to assess the situation.

Intelligent eyes. Hunter's eyes. His eyes.

He suddenly feels like he ate a bag of cotton balls. His stomach, his throat, his mouth, his ears, all filled with densely packed fuzz. He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Looks like vasovagal syncope." Dr. Trenma points at Bambi. "Grab a chair for him."

The boy scoots a seat behind him just as his knees collapse. He flops into the chair numbly.

Two babies. Three daughters. Four kids.

"...Does this mean I get double?" Bambi says.

"No way!" The Little Lady hisses.

He lets your mother place the second baby into his arms. The baby stares at him, narrow-eyed, then gives a single tentative chirp.

Instinct takes over. He holds them both close, let them hear his heartbeat.

Dr. Trenma lets out a relieved sigh. "Paternal rumbling. The bonding process has already begun."

"I ain't rumblin'," he mutters half-heartedly. Two babies. Three daughters. Four kids.

"Glad he likes 'em," you say. You've hauled yourself upright to sit against the headboard. You make grabby hands. "Now tell 'im to give 'em back."

With shaky legs, he stands and deposits the little ones into your arms. "I gotta get some fresh air," he murmurs.

He leaves you and the kids to coo over the little ones while he takes a walk.

Two babies. Three daughters. Four kids.

He needs a few hours to come to terms with this. And a few good stiff drinks.

---

"Catch Us If You Can Masterpost" | To the Mastahpost | Tip Jar

[esotericdescent]

I have some Headcanons for Kaz to share in reference to his trauma / haphephobia. A couple of them involve vague mentions of ~intimate situations.~

It's never really explicitly mentioned in the books, but I suspect blood is one of his triggers—although fresh blood isn't as much of an issue as I think it has a lot to do with scent rather than the physical sensation of it. It's the sickeningly sweet, rotting coppery scent and if he's stuck with it on him long enough, it can easily lead to a panic attack and/or a fainting spell. It's also very likely the reason why the only time he gets someone's blood all over him is either when it's a last resort or when he just .... loses his cool, which doesn't happen very often ( I mean, he doesn't particularly like killing people anyway, but yk ). In SOC when he rips that guys' eye out, they change POV after Kaz goes bellow deck to clean himself off and stuff and like ..... I think about that a lot. Might write a drabble abt it some time, who knows.

When/if Kaz gradually starts to work through his touch aversion issues in order to be able to physically touch someone casually or intimately, he strikes me as someone who is ... extremely intense once he's comfortable. Because of his aversion, he's also very touch starved, which becomes immediately obvious very quickly in that case.

I think, when it comes to kissing someone, that is likely one of the easier things to work through for him simply because of how stark the contrast is. Like, the heat of someone's mouth, the intimacy of being able to hear and feel someone's breathing, feel how very much alive they are. And for that reason, it becomes pretty immediately apparent how much he enjoys it once he gets there.

One of the ways he keeps himself grounded during these situations is being able to feel someone's pulse, which he can do by either feeling for it by resting his hand on their throat / pressing his thumb against their pulse point there, or doing the same on their wrist(s).

However, something important to note; it will absolutely take a lot of tries, trial and error, for Kaz to be able to work through these things. He is probably going to have several panic attacks along the way and it's gonna be a rough start; it's especially going to be complicated and very, very meaningful for him to allow someone to be anywhere near him when that happens too, so it'll require a ton of thorough plotting. I don't mind skipping ahead, as long as we thoroughly discuss and establish the difficulty in Getting There.

I will also say that, as someone on the asexual spectrum myself, I am 5000% very, very flexible about what intimacy would mean for him. Smut does not have to happen for Kaz to be intimate with someone; literally him letting someone hold his hand is a very huge indication of intimacy for him okay. There's a part of him that deeply, deeply struggles with shame regarding his trauma and limitations because of it, so. Someone eventually knowing What Happened and insisting on giving him the space and patience that he needs and/or being like "you don't actually have to Ever btw" despite his stubborn attitude sigh lmao is 👌👌

Kaz's struggles with touch will never fully be gone, no matter how much he works through it. There will still be days where he can't handle physical contact and there will be days where he's handling things just fine but the slightest thing twists the wrong way and he has a panic attack or can't touch anyone for hours or the rest of the day, ect. It's always going to be there in the back of his mind, being considered with everything he does. And, even with working through it to be able to touch Certain People or Someone In Particular, he still won't be able to deal with it casually, with people he doesn't know well or trust. It's especially Bad if it's not anticipated from someone he doesn't know well or trust.

[lumosinlove]

Vaincre

part iii

cw: brief, non-graphic mention of injury and medical assistance

~

September

Only blue talk and love

Remember

How we knew love was here to stay

Summer hadn’t truly felt over until Remus saw Regulus standing in the airport, bags checked for New York and backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Well,” Regulus said, shifting a little between his feet. “Here goes.”

Remus laughed. “It’s going to be amazing, Reg.”

“Maybe. Hopefully.”

“It will,” Sirius said. “But if you need anything we’re…what? A four hour drive?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, you can call.”

Regulus huffed out a laugh. “You two sound like worried parents.”

Sirius laughed, too. “I’m just glad we know what those sound like now.”

Regulus’ expression shifted, tightening. He nodded, seemed to hang in hesitation for a moment, and then walked forward two steps and threw his arms around Sirius. Sirius froze, too, with his hands in his pockets, and then wrapped his little brother up tight.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” Remus heard Regulus murmur softly. “I don’t really think you left me there. With them.”

Sirius made an indistinguishable sound, and Remus took a step back, giving them space and not sure if he was fighting tears or a smile. He used to just think about how he could kill Sirius and Regulus’ parents if he had the chance, but now, seeing how far the brothers had come, he wasn’t sure they were worth the time at all.

“Come home sometimes, okay?” Sirius said. “D’accord?”

“Ouais,” Regulus said.

They pulled apart slowly, both a little bright-eyed. Sirius laughed wetly, wiping his face.

“And make good friends.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “I think that’s supposed to be good choices.”

Sirius reached out for Remus’ hand. “Good friends are good choices.”

“Ah,” Regulus hitched his pack farther up his shoulder. “Of course.”

“Call when you get there, too,” Remus cut in. “My mom would definitely want me to say that.”

Regulus waved them off. “Okay, that’s enough parenting. I’m going now.”

Sirius held Remus’ hand tight as they watched Regulus go through security and then disappear with a wave, sliding his headphones on. He let out a long, unsteady breath.

“Merde.”

“Love ya,” Remus smiled, reaching up to wipe a tear from Sirius’ cheek.

Sirius glanced down at him. “He’s going to be fine.”

“He is,” Remus nodded.

“He forgives me.”

“No,” Remus said. “He told you that you never did anything wrong.”

Sirius let out another tearful laugh, sniffing. “Right. You’re right.”

Remus pushed up on his toes to kiss his cheek. “Wanna get dinner?”

“Ouais. That sounds perfect.”

They wandered the summer soft streets, cooled by the evening and by approaching September. Remus was torn between being ready to let summer go, and never wanting it to end at the same time.

~

It’s good to hear a packed Hogwarts Stadium again, huh, Dean? Even if just for a preseason game against our New York Rangers neighbors.

Right, Lee? I love this post-summer feeling, and I know our Lions do, too. Especially excited to see what our new talent has to offer. This’ll be fan’s first glimpse at Lupin and Reyes, our two…well, I suppose rookie wouldn’t be quite as perfect a word for Lupin as it is for Reyes. We’re used to Lupin’s face around here, huh.

That we are. Not used to seeing what is rumored to be some very quick feet on him, though. As far as testing went, that is.

Right, the bike test. As well as strength. Who knows. This could be building up to a very interesting season.

Remus stared up at the TV mounted on the wall as he peddled slowly on the stationary bike, keeping his legs warm. He felt bizarre, and had been dodging any type of media to avoid having to talk about it. He was dreading post-game. Every time he tried to think of something to say, his mind went blank.

I’m happy to be here.

I never thought I would be here.

The other half of his brain was trying to compute that it wouldn’t just be the preseason, practice scrimmages he was used to. It wouldn’t just been his team, his friends, out there. Not that it would be a full fledged game, either. No one looked to crushing blows during a preseason game. It was about getting warm. Remus was thankful for it. He didn’t know how he was going to feel when he put his jersey on. When he stepped out onto the ice. He had been nervous enough for the fitness testing.

“You’re literally the fastest guy here,” Finn had said after he’d gotten off of the bike—with the highest score. It had made him feel better, but he knew he wouldn’t really be settled until until coach called his name from the line card.

“Loops,” Logan said, swinging onto the bike beside him. “I keep running into you.”

Remus smiled. “Looks like we having similar warm-up routines.”

“Apparemment,” Logan nodded, turning up the resistance. “Nervous?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

Logan nodded, but stayed quiet and Remus was thankful. Everyone tried to talk him out of it, Sirius included, and he loved them for that, but at the same time, this was nice, too.

“Me too, sort of,” Logan said, and they traded a smile before looking back up at the Gryffindor pre-game show.

“All right,” Coach Arthur Weasley clapped his hands and gestured to the side of the room where the assistant coaches and staff were standing. The whole locker room was flooded with energy of all kinds—nervous, excited—and it flowed through those not in uniform, too. “We all know Moody. We all know our coaches. Mason, Alexandra, and Dan. We all know our PTs—should I say new PTs—“ there were some laughs. “Lars and Layla.”

“Double-Ls,” Thomas whooped.

Layla gave two thumbs up, and Lars remained stoic, arms crossed. He hadn’t said much since arriving aside from the occasional wise-cracking joke delivered without a trace of a smile.

“Who’s captain serious now, eh?” Thomas leaned in to whisper, and Remus suppressed a smile, glancing at Sirius—who was wearing an almost equally focused expression on his face, completely still where he sat a few stalls down, past Thomas and James. Remus glanced around the locker room, down the crescent-shaped row. Kasey and Leo, on opposite ends, were both geared up. Finn and Leo were sharing AirPods. Remus knew Kasey had worked hard over the summer, rehabbing his thigh, strengthening and increasing flexibility. He knew Leo was happy to be his back-up, but part of him wondered what Leo thought about all the games he had played in the play-offs, only to be placed right back on the bench now. It happened to a lot of guys—some were called up for injury, only to be sent right back down to the farm team when injuries healed. But Remus thought it was different for goalies. He hoped Coach wouldn’t leave Leo sitting on the bench for too long.

“Who’s calling first line?” Coach asked, and held the card out to Sirius. “Cap?”

Remus didn’t realize until the cheers broke out that he could be loud with the rest of them, and gave his stall a few bangs as Sirius rose, hat keeping his hair back. His eyes found Remus’ briefly once had turned towards them with the card, and Remus’ breath caught at his beaming grin.

“Okay, boys, first line,” Sirius said. “We’ve got Pots.”

Clap.

“Tremzy.”

Thomas drum-rolled his stall.

Sirius smiled. “Myself.”

Finn put two fingers in his mouth and whistled.

“And on D, Olli and Timmy.”

While the boys burst into chatter again, Remus watched Sirius hand the card back to Coach, and caught his eye again, raising an eyebrow. Sirius held up Thomas’ number, and Jackson’s. Remus nodded to himself. That could be the third or fourth line, and he’d played well with both of them in scrimmages. It made sense. He could work with that.

And it meant he’d get to watch Sirius out there. At least that wouldn’t change.

“All right,” Coach laughed, putting his glasses back on and turning towards the other coaches. “Get dressed, get dressed.”

Remus had sat in his stall quite a few times by now. For his promo-pictures at the beginning of the summer—the first time he had slipped his jersey on, too, right over his suit and tie. But sitting in it now, strapping his pads over his bare chest before a game, a game where he would be up against other NHL players…that was different.

“You’re one of those?” Thomas snorted, flicking Remus’ bare ribs. “Doesn’t the velcro scratch?”

Remus laughed. “Can’t break old habits.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Or is now the perfect time to make new ones.”

“Not after a year like the last,” Remus said.

“Oh,” Thomas whistled, yanking the laces of his skates tight. “You’re that superstitious.”

“I try not to be,” Remus stood. “But playing again…seems to bring it out in me.”

Remus turned to step into his pants, adjusting the pads and his jock until everything fit together comfortably. He eyed his jersey, the number six hanging proudly on a hanger, and he smiled to himself but turned to his skates next. The jersey sent his heart leaping into his throat. He’d save it for last.

“Let’s go boys,” Pascal called, standing by the door to bump fists and pat helmets on their way out.

Remus laced up his skates, pulling them tight over his taped up socks, and then, finally, removed his jersey from its hook. He didn’t waste time staring down at it. That would just make him overthink and, hopefully, he’d have many times to put this jersey on again.

It slid over his shoulder pads, he tucked in the back, and grabbed his helmet.

“I like that Loops is just over there grinning to himself,” Finn snorted as he left for the tunnel.

Remus shrugged, eyes finding Sirius. He already looked like his mind was on the ice, even for such a low stakes game.

“You know,” Remus said as the team started to file down the tunnel. “I used to go last.”

Sirius’ intense eyes lightened into a softer gray. He shifted from one skate to another. “Oh? I don’t know if I knew that.”

Remus tilted his head, smile playing at one corner of his mouth. “Well? What are we gonna do?”

Sirius just stared at him. “I… I go last.”

Remus let out his laughter, leaning up to tap their helmets together. He vaguely heard a camera flash go off, and smiled. He wanted that picture.

“You should have seen your face, baby,” he whispered, and grabbed his stick from the rack before catching up to James.

He heard Sirius splutter out a laugh—and there was definitely some relief in there—and follow.

The sounds of the crowd in Hogwarts stadium only grew louder. Remus could feel Sirius close behind him.

“Ready, mon loup?” he asked quietly, just before the tunnel opened up to the lights.

Remus didn’t know if Sirius heard his yes over the roar of the team’s entry into a sea of red and gold, but then feet were on the ice he was doing a lap, the Rangers at the other end.

On opening night, Remus knew he would be taking this lap alone, along with Cole. A rookie’s first official NHL game. It felt surreal to think about. He couldn’t knock the feeling that he was too old for that—but he knew plenty of guys did it at his age. You didn’t have to be eighteen.

He picked up a puck and headed towards the goal, trying to decide if it would help to block out the noise, or let it overtake him. The boys were dialed in. Remus glanced over at Sirius, feeling strangely bare without him by his side. But he was over by center ice, tracing the Lion printed there—as usual. Remus didn’t want to seem favored. He didn’t want to seem clingy. They weren’t a couple out here, he knew that. They were teammates.

He shot at Kasey, who caught his puck in his glove, and began the wrap-around again before pushing backwards around the outside of the goal, as he always used to. He’d done his routine a few times at the beginning of practices, but it was nothing compared to being surrounded by a crowd—a bigger crowd than he’d ever actually played in front of before.

Kasey tapped a puck at him once he reached his first post, and he laughed, shooting it back until a sign waving at the glass caught his eye. It was held by a kid, maybe around Julian’s age.

I want a signed stick the ReMOST, Lupin!

Remus laughed at the kid’s wide eyes when he saw that he was looking, and gave him a thumbs up the best he could with his gloves on before holding up his stick.

“One second,” he called over the crowd.

When he got to the bench, Sirius was there stretching, holding out an already uncapped sharpie.

And looks like Lupin’s heading over to sign that young man a stick. I bet that’s a good feeling after—oh! Black’s got a pen ready for him.

Remus shoved a glove under his arm and took it. “You saw the sign?”

“I got the kid down to the glass,” Sirius grinned.

“I love you,” Remus said as he scribbled his signature, complete with the jersey number that players always included.

It took two tries to get the stick successfully over the glass, but for the look on the boy’s face, Remus would have tried twenty.

“Feels good, eh?” James said once the horn blew for warmups and they were settled onto the bench.

“Too good,” Remus said.

“First line,” Coach called, slapping his calling card against his palm. “12, 10, 7, let’s go. Olli, Tims, on D.”

Sirius sent him a quick smile, and Remus spun his stick in front of him. “Let’s go, Captain.”

Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes as he pushed away from the boards towards center ice, where Zibanejad was waiting.

Good to see that sort of…what would you call it, Dean, from Black?

Light energy, I think, Lee. Sirius is well known around the league for his intensity.

Right. Nice to see Lupin getting a smile out of him before what is most probably a season that holds more pressure than usual for the Lions, after a Cup year.

One of Black’s coaches once said in an interview that the only thing Sirius feels after scoring a goal is pressure to score another. Ha, sounds about right.

Remus all but held his breath when the ref dropped the puck. Sirius stole it back for James who nicked it over to Logan. Logan sped it into the neutral zone, narrowly avoiding Lafrenière.

“Bulky kid,” Finn said from beside Remus.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Logan?”

“Well—yeah, but nah, Lafrenière,” Finn nodded. “Built like a tree, what is he, nineteen? Crazy. I didn’t look like that when I was nineteen.”

“Well,” Remus said as the whistle blew for an icing on the Rangers. “People are comparing him to Crosby.”

“Kuny,” Coach called. “Lupin, Nado.”

Remus’ initial thought was surprise. The shock of being put out with the second line carried him somewhat numbly over the boards beside Evgeni and Jackson. He didn’t have time to look at Sirius take his place on the bench.

“Hey,” Evgeni said, drawing them in with a glove over his mouth so the Rangers filing out of their bench couldn’t read their lips. “I take Lindgren. Loops, go fast, okay? Nado get you puck.”

“Fox,” Jackson warned.

“Sergei take care,” Evgeni said like it was obvious, and loomed towards the face-off circle.

“Left side,” Remus said to Jackson before they parted. “I’ll try to shake Kravtsov.”

“Nice,” Jackson nodded.

Remus and Kravtsov shared a nod as they lined up shoulder to shoulder on the centerline.

“Welcome to the NHL,” Kravtsov said with a slight smile.

“Thanks,” Remus replied.

Kravtsov was so young. All of these guys were so young.

He couldn’t help feeling like time had been stolen from him.

Have you ever seen this many Russian players in one NHL game, Dean? Pretty nice to see. And here’s Lupin’s first shift. Let’s go.

The puck dropped and Remus gave Kravtsov a shove, spinning out and around him. His heart seemed to press the sound out of his ears until all he could hear was his own breathing. Evgeni won the face off.

“Kuns!” Jackson shouted, and Evgeni passed it to him deep in their own zone. It drew Fox forward, just as Remus knew it was meant to, but Sergei was there for Jackson to derail the puck. Fox was forced to turn around, Kravtsov was made to press forward for a pass, and it left Remus free to shoot into their defense zone. Strome tried to cross him, but Remus spun around him. Sergei and Jackson tried to get it to him, but it left the zone. Remus swore as he pushed hard to touch up the neutral zone.

“6, 58, 86, off, Reyes, O’Hara, LeBlanc, on!”

Remus pulled back to the bench, sending Cole a nod as he hopped over the boards for his first NHL shift. Remus’ shift had been thirty seconds that felt like ten, but he was breathing hard. Finn followed Cole with a tap to his back, promptly stole the puck from Chytil, and slapped it into the corner of the Rangers’ goal.

Remus had barely taken a drink of water when the goal horn blared Gryffindor’s roar filled Hogwarts Stadium.

He punched Sirius’ side, who had his arms raised. Sirius laughed from beside him as they settled onto the bench beside each other.

“Ouch,” Sirius rubbed his padding.

“I don’t know, I got excited,” Remus laughed.

They held his gloves out for Finn to tap as he came down the line, the goal song blaring, the crowd chanting along to the catchy drumbeat.

“Nice solo, Harz,” Remus called, and Finn grinned.

“Thanks, Rookie.”

It remained pretty even through the first and second. Panarin had three good chances, the fourth sailing past Kasey’s glove. Sirius scored a dirty wrap-around just before the second’s buzzer, and Remus didn’t think he’d ever like anything more than getting the full force of Sirius’ smile as he tapped gloves down the bench line. No sooner had the final face-off of the period set up than were Evgeni and Lindgren going at it, hands gripping the back of each other’s jerseys as they dropped their gloves. Gryffindor would start the third one man up.

Remus filed back down the tunnel towards the locker room, smiling at Layla as he dropped his gloves in the bucket she was holding to be dried. He felt warm, his muscles used and a little sore. He longed for an ice bath, but he wanted to use them more too. It was the most familiar feeling in the word. He smiled against it as he sat down in his stall, laughing lightly at the way Evgeni threw a wet towel over his head.

“Not skate enough over the summer,” Evgeni groaned.

Remus looked up when a shadow fell over him and was greeted by two hands on his cheeks and a warm, familiar kiss.

“J’adore,” Sirius said.

Remus laughed, holding his wrists where his pulse still high from the game.

“Nice goal.”

“Good to be back,” James said as he pushed his jersey over his head. “Crowd sounds amazing. How you doing, Reyes?”

Cole looked up from where he was re-taping his socks. “The crowd is amazing.”

Remus felt a slap on the back from Evgeni, towel around his neck now. “Good shift, rookie.”

“Kuns,” Remus sighed, and Evgeni just laughed teasingly.

Remus felt Sirius’ eyes on him throughout the entire intermission. He knew he was curious, and had been for months, about Remus’ game routine. He’d asked and asked over the summer, but that was the thing with Remus’ superstitions—he couldn’t talk about them.

Remus took two fresh sticks from his rack and sat back down. He began wrapping it steadily.

“Of course your tape job is perfect,” Thomas sighed, shaking his head. “Of course, of course.”

Remus laughed, ripping the tape with his teeth.

“Speak for yourself,” Jackson grinned, giving his stick a twirl, the tape warped and hurried.

Remus snorted. “All I see is a fucking candy cane.”

Power play. Lindgren went into the box, slamming the door a little too hard on his way.

“Black,” Coach called as the crowd shuffled into their seats, armed with food, and Remus had been expecting that. “Tremzy, Lupin, Fox, Sunny.”

Remus blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that.

Remus hopped the boards beside Sirius, and the stadium seemed to get louder. Sirius knocked their shoulders together, and Remus didn’t doubt the cameras were on them and he tried to control his expression. He didn’t want to look too pleased, or too dopy at the feeling of skating side by side with Sirius in front of a crowd.

I think this is the moment many of us have been waiting for, Dean.

You bet! I didn’t expect it to come so soon. Coach Weasley is trying out lots of different line combos tonight. What’s pre-season for? I hear Lupin’s played on the power play a few times in practice.

Sirius put his glove up by his mouth, holding his mouth guard.

“Try the double pass?” he said quickly.

“Yeah,” Remus nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Sirius bent down across from Zibanejad and the rest of the Rangers penalty kill unit.

It happened fast. Remus was used to seeing this from the bench—but maybe that was a good thing. He saw the ice as if through a wide lens, Sirius passed to Logan, and then it was on Remus’ stick to carry up. Remus blew out a breath, pushing his legs hard ahead of Panarin. He needed to get ahead, needed to stay parallel with Sirius. He felt Panarin scrape at his heels, but then Sirius was calling his name.

Shesterkin was still up and on his feet, reading to dive whichever way.

“Loup,” Sirius called, and it was as though it was only the two of them in the basement rink. Only the crowd was different, and absolutely roaring. 

Remus snapped the puck to Sirius, who passed it right back. Shesterkin went down when Remus pulled his stick back in a fake, only for him to give it back to Sirius to tap into wide open net.

Remus’ hands shot up, and the crowd screamed. Sirius all but slammed into him, wrapping him up tight against the boards.

“Re,” Sirius laughed through he words, pressing their helmets together. “Mon loup, mon loup—”

Logan crashed into them next, followed by Adam and Henrik. Remus found himself in the center of elated shouts, the fans pounding hands on the glass from the other side.

“Merde, it sounds like the playoffs,” Logan shouted, pressing a hand to Remus’ helmet.

Remus could only laugh, giddy, high on it all.

What a goal! Well, Lee, I don’t think we’re going to have to wait long to see this young man’s first regular season point.

~

“He fell for it,” Remus said for the tenth time as he handed Sirius the last of their dinner dishes. “Shesterkin fell for it.”

Sirius laughed and slid the dishes into the sink and turned, placing slightly damp hands on Remus’ cheeks.

“You are amazing,” he said, accent heavy and laced with a need that Remus had felt stirring in himself since getting off the ice. They’d been on the ice together today. They’d built a goal together, scored. Igor Shesterkin had fallen for their fake-out.

“I was so happy today,” Sirius whispered.

Remus closed his eyes, caught between the feeling of Sirius’ body colliding with his own in celebration, and the feeling of his warm hands here, now.

“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” Remus said softly, and opened his eyes, hands against Sirius’ chest.

What a terrifying, wonderful sentence.

Sirius just leaned in to kiss him, mouth tender and insistent. It was the same fire he had on the ice, leading Remus in a way that made his insides warm and his toes curl. Remus let Sirius guide him slowly up the stairs, and he relished in the way they stopped on the landing, on a half-way stair, just to be closer again, Remus’ mouth on his neck, Sirius’ against his temple. The hallway was dark, lit only by the nightlight they kept plugged in near their feet. It cast Sirius in warm angles as Remus tugged his shirt off and dropped it right there in the hallway.

“I’m not saying I’m not going to miss Regulus,” Remus said as Sirius bent to mouth gently against his neck. “But I’m not saying I’m not going to enjoy being able to undress you wherever I want now that we have the house to ourselves.”

Sirius’ laugh was soft, a little breathless. “Name your room, I’ll be there.”

Remus laughed, too. “Bedroom. Nice, soft bed.”

Sirius walked Remus backwards through the door, hands on his hips. “How do you feel? That was quite the race with Kreider in the second.”

“Good,” Remus nodded, but let Sirius’ strong hands dig into the muscles of his shoulders and back. He sighed into it, resting his cheek against his chest. “But I won’t say no to that.”

Sirius kissed Remus’ temple and worked his shirt over his head. He lay him down on the mattress and Remus closed his eyes at the feeling of Sirius’ lips against his neck, and then his shoulder.

Sirius kissed over the scar that Greyback had torn from Remus’ body all those years ago at their shared college, keeping Remus from a career in the NHL—at least until now.

“I wonder what he thinks,” Remus wondered aloud, and he didn’t have to explain himself for Sirius to know what he meant. Remus wound his fingers into Sirius dark hair as he looked up at him.

“Me too,” Sirius admitted. “And then I see red and have to stop thinking about it.”

Remus half-smiled. “Yeah…I felt bad at lunch those few weeks ago. With Cole. I really think he thought he said something wrong, and I wish I could explain but it’s still…it’s still like this weird secret, you know? Like people could find out if they really looked but no one has? And I don’t really want to bring it up but at the same time I know Fenrir has already spread lies. Saying it was a car crash or…who knows what. Sorry.” Remus pressed a hand to his face. “God, I’m completely killing the mood.”

“Re, hey,” Sirius pushed himself up onto his forearm, falling to the side and keeping their legs tangled.

“And it’s such a good mood, I just was thinking aloud.”

“You’re not. Talk to me. You can talk to me whenever.”

Remus ran his thumb over Sirius’ bottom lip. “Okay…yeah, I know that.”

“This was a big day,” Sirius said. “Huge for you. Of course you would be thinking about him. I used to think about my parents every time I stepped on the ice, even after things were getting better. I think…I think its just time. It takes time.”

“It was strange today,” Remus finally admitted. “I couldn’t…I didn’t know how close to you I could be. Out there, I mean. I’m your boyfriend, you’re mine, but we’re also teammates. There’s so much debate, about my place on the team and if you did something to get me there…I don’t know. I don’t want someone to accuse you of favoritism. You don’t deserve that.”

“We’re both,” Sirius said. “We’ll always be both. You’ll always be the boy I love. You’ll always be my teammate.” Sirius shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if we’re on the ice or not. And I don’t care if someone thinks I favor you. We both know I don’t. Not like that.”

Remus made a soft sound and pulled Sirius further on top of him, making him smile. “Love you.”

Sirius let Remus press slow kisses to his lips. “This mood feels pretty good to me.”

Remus just hushed him, tucking a hand into his waistband.

Sirius kissed him until Remus’ cheeks were hot and his cock was aching, pressed up against his sweatpants. Remus could still hear the Lions’ crowd rushing in his ears. Sirius’ palm cupped him and pushed his sweatpants down. They were both flushed and pink. Remus wanted to see those colors together.

He pulled Sirius’ hips against his own, discarding clothing until it was all bare skin. Remus ran his hands over the hard curves of his back. He had to squeeze his eyes shut, hooking his arms beneath Sirius’, holding onto his shoulders.

Their mouths found each other messily, dragging and half open in gasps.

“Sirius,” Remus breathed, voice higher than usual.

The adrenaline that Remus had thought had faded with the game only seemed to thrum brighter. Remus couldn’t help the smile the crossed his face, brows drawn together at the feeling of Sirius rutting against him.

Remus pressed his ankle gently to the back of Sirius’ knee and rolled them, drawing breathless laughs from both their mouths that he sealed away to keep like a love letter. It was soft mouths and hard hands, clutching each other closer, getting the most out of the warm friction. Remus swallowed Sirius’ gasps. His orgasm built up below his spine and Sirius seemed to read his mind. He reached between them with a hand, brushing a thumb at his base, pressing up. Remus’ hips stuttered and he fell apart, shoving hard against Sirius’ tight fist.

Sirius followed at the hot streak of Remus’ come between them, and they lay there, panting, foreheads together. Remus eased their hips back together, both of them letting out a soft moan, then a laugh, as the spent cocks brushed, drawing out the last tendrils of their orgasms.

“That feels good,” Sirius mumbled, head sunken back against the pillows.

Remus rolled his hips slowly, bringing them down, and then pulled his head up. He pushed Sirius’ sweaty hair back from his cheek and kissed it. 

“Communicate to score,” Sirius mumbled.

Remus laughed hard, squeezing his eyes shut, and dropped his face into his neck to catch his breath.

“It’s true,” Sirius said, running a warm palm up and down Remus’ back. “That article we looked at.”

They’d given in and read some press over dinner, laughing at some of the more excitable writers, and grinning at each other at the more serious ones.

Magnetism, one wrote. Feels like we’ve got some mind-readers on this team, a real Crosby-Malkin, Kane-Toews one-two-punch.

“Well,” Remus said, folding his arms across Sirius’ chest. “What am I thinking now?”

Sirius pressed his lips together, pretending to think. “Is it…how to get out of golf with James and the Cubs before the ring ceremony on Tuesday?”

Remus snorted. “Well, that’s definitely on my list. But nope.” He leaned in, brushing their mouths together. “That’s not it.”

Sirius grinned, and Remus sunk into how thick and sated his accent sounded. “Is it…will my handsome boyfriend please run me a bath and make me tea?”

Remus laughed into their next kiss. “Wow, that writer was right.”

~

It looks…maybe like a twisted knee? What do you think, Dean? Walker is definitely not making a move to get up—oh, there’s the medic. One of the Lions’ new staff members as, of course, someone had to take Lupin’s place. Ah, Walker is pointing to his foot now.

Man, is that a grimace if I ever saw one.

It sure is, Dean.

Here comes O’Hara to help out his teammate.

They were in Madison Square Garden, the Rangers giving them one hell of a re-match. Logan skated a close perimeter towards where Thomas had gone down, just between a line change.

“Shit,” Finn skated to a stop beside him. “It’s fucking pre-season. Did you see what happened?”

Logan shook his head. “Not really. Think it was just a bad fall. Strome looks sorry.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re not jumping him right now.”

Logan’s mouth quirked up. “I have no interest in jumping Strome, thanks.” His eyes found Leo on the bench. With his hat flipped backwards, the intensity, the worry in of his blue eyes cut a clear path to Thomas.

“T,” Finn said, skating closer. “Need a hand to the room?”

Thomas winced as he made it to one knee. “Yeah, man, thanks.”

~

Thomas stared up at the dark ceiling from the padded PT table, listening to the game continue on the TV mounted to the corner of the ceiling. There was the X-ray pushed to the corner, his results pinned up on the light screen. Fracture. Minor, but it’d take weeks to heal. He’d miss the beginning of the season. He’d be in a suit when they lifted the Stanley Cup champion banner in the stadium. He missed Noelle.

The light flicked on so suddenly Thomas flinched.

“Walker,” said an unfamiliar voice. It was accented—Swedish, he thought. Thomas squinted at the speaker. He was tall, and dressed in the staff jacket he’d come to associate with Remus. Right. Lars.

“I…hey,” Thomas said. His eyes went to Layla, who gave a wave as she slipped in behind the man. “Hey, man, Lars, right?”

Lars gave a short nod. “Nice to meet you. So, you probably know the drill by now. Couple weeks. Aspirin will be fine for pain management.”

“Right,” Thomas nodded.

“We’ve got a boot for you here, but I’d take everything to a doctor, just for a second opinion. I’ll recommend someone,” he shrugged. “That was an unlucky hit. I’m sorry.”

Thomas blinked. He didn’t know someone could seem sweetly uninterested. He smiled hesitantly. “Thanks.”

Thomas snapped a picture of the boot once he strapped it on and sent it out complete with a frowning emoji.

He had just opened the door to the locker room, accompanied by his new crutches and to meet his victorious team, when his phone began to ring with a Facetime.

“T,” Noelle’s voice gasped. She was beautiful, her hair curling around her face. “Baby, I saw.”

“It’s not too bad,” Thomas said beneath the noise as the locker room filled up. “You look like you’re about to go somewhere, I can call back, I just wanted to…”

I’m just sad about it. It sounded lame in his own ears.

He cleared his throat. “Logan, say hi to your sister.”

Logan poked his head into the frame and stuck his tongue out, then left.

“Lolo!” Noelle shouted for the locker room to hear, and Logan groaned.

“Lolo,” Kasey imitated, grinning, and Logan shoved his mask down over his face.

“How is it?” Finn asked, wrapping an arm around him. “Hi, Noelle.”

“Fractured. Couple weeks.”

“Damn,” Finn sighed. “Sorry, T. That was an—”

“unlucky hit,” Thomas laughed. “Preach.”

“Hey, baby, we’re all heading to grab some food, but call you tonight?”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

He tried not to feel lonely as the screen went dark. He was in a room surrounded by people. People he loved.

It crept in anyway.

[foxxsnacks]

I nap for a couple hours and discover that I missed a "good ending" to civil war with /the most hilarious catalyst ever/ and in light of this, might I request some Peter headcanons, if you have them?

I do, actually!! Peter is a massive comfort character of mine so excuse me if a little bit of this is self indulgent sudjxjxjdjxj

• He's a very sweet prey, for anyone who eats him. he's just very snuggly and affectionate when it comes to people he trusts!

• he's another character that I headcanon as having ADHD, so he's also a little fidgety and squirms a lot if he doesn't have anything to do while inside someone's stomach. However, if his pred is talking to him, he calms down a bit. He's still a little twitchy; probably bounces his leg sometimes or drums his fingers on a stomach wall, but not him outright moving his position every five seconds.

• he'll gladly give belly rubs if the pred he's inside is okay with them or wants them!

• spiders can't thermoregulate, so I love the idea of the heater in his suit failing during winter and someone having to swallow him to keep him from going unconscious and getting hypothermic, and him falling asleep in the warmth.... im soft for him okay

• the sounds of someone's body working loudly around him would likely be enough to drown out most of his heightened sensitivity, so I think he'd like it when he's overstimulated and just needs to settle down for a bit

• he's a little ticklish, so if he's getting licked he gets giggly abt it and tries to push the preds tongue away

• now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Peter as a prey; however.... I do think a lot of people overlook his potential as a pred, too!

• he probably loves the comfort of being able to protect someone by surrounding them completely, knowing that they're safe and won't get hurt

• he'd definitely be a bit nervous about eating people sometimes, but he's very considerate and tries to make it as comfortable as he can

• he might try to lick and taste his prey a little bit, but not too much since he gets nervous he's being annoying sometimes. He never is, though.

• it's always obvious to anyone who knows him even minorly well when he's eaten someone, since he always crosses his hands or arms over his middle, and hunches over a bit to hold himself better. He also will randomly smile when his prey moves or does something, and occasionally will just stare blankly at the wall if they're moving around a lot.

• belly rubs fluster him very easily; he turns red in an instant if his prey starts rubbing at his insides

• if he's out swinging, he's always keeping his stomach clenched around his prey as to not throw them around at all, since he made the mistake of not doing that once... it was unpleasant for both parties

• sometimes he likes to hang upside down with prey inside because it just feels different with their weight against the top of his stomach instead of the bottom

• he has a fair amount of core strength, and that coupled with his flexibility means that prey gets squeezed a ridiculous amount while he's fighting. He's very apologetic afterwards though, and often offers to spit them back out.

• he doesn't really mind squirmy prey, as long as they're not struggling out of fear

• he's probably had to eat someone unwilling a couple times to protect them, and felt awful about it... all that thrashing and begging to be released is very upsetting when he knows he's the cause

• he's definitely awkward when asking to eat someone, and he's always very vague when asking too, so it's difficult to figure out what he wants sometimes

• his stomach is mostly quiet; usually it's just some smaller gurgles and groans; but if he's nervous or just really really hungry, his stomach gets loud. And he gets so embarrassed. Usually he goes and hides somewhere until it settles down. It also gets more than a little noisy with prey inside.

• I feel like he might have a bit more stretchy of a stomach than normal? But still very soft. So he can fit multiple/larger prey if he wants, he just usually can't handle being that full if he's busy doing work as Spidey, since it's definitely a lil distracting in a fight with that much weight in his gut

SORRY IF THIS SEEMS LIKE I'M FAVORING PRED PETER AND THAT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN WHAT YOU SENT THIS ASK FOR SNDNDJDM I JUST DON'T SEE ENOUGH PRED PETER CONTENT IN THE WORLD!!! and it drives me NUTS!!!