#i understand her at such a deep level it’s unreal

[celestiarambles]

You Can’t Catch Me Now

trigger warning: suicide, overdose, hospitalization, psychiatric hospitals, mental disorders

hi i broke down yesterday so i wrote this… now i’m sobbing once again, but now it’s because of angela xD

this takes place in canon btw, but the fic kinda details it enough (i hope haha)

also, i’m not a big fan of listening to music while reading, but i recommend listening to you can’t catch me now by olivia rodrigo while reading this because i listened to it while writing this fic haha

i apologize if there are any inaccuracies, i hope you enjoy!

Summary: Years of grief and guilt has made Angela believe that she is a horrible human being; a monster… or at least she thought so.

Also cross-posted on Ao3: You Can’t Catch Me Now - celestiamirasol - Criminal Case (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

Angela thought she was dead.

She thought she was dead when her 8-year-old self ran through the forest of Kyushu Island, desperately trying to find something, somewhere to hide. 

She wasn’t strong enough for this, and they were looking for someone strong. Someone who could survive.

Thankfully, she found a closet in an abandoned building. She hid herself there for god knows how long, shaking, sobbing, listening to the bloodshed and cries that she could hear from afar.

2 recruits left. Her blood ran cold when she heard the intercom. It was only her and -

The closet door flung open. A girl who seemed older than her, probably in her teenage years stood in front of her, holding a huge rifle. Tears stained the girl’s cheeks, her hair a mess as she stared at a young Angela. 

And then the girl pointed the gun at her own forehead.

”Y-you probably have s-so much ahead of you…” The girl cried… and she pulled the trigger.

Angela thought she was dead when her 29-year-old self went to face her adoptive parents once and for all. When she wanted to put a stop to all of this.

“You know that you can’t marry someone else outside of SOMBRA, Angela.” A woman that she called mother - an endearment that left an odd taste in her mouth - scoffed at her.

”Oh, I know.” Angela took a sip of water. They were talking about this over dinner. “But I’m not asking for your blessing. I’m just leaving you a warning; if you ever try to hurt him -“

“Cheon-sa!” Her adoptive ‘father’ gave an eerie chuckle. If anything else, she hated her birth name. It reminded her about who she truly is… and what she lost. “Don’t worry, he seems like a nice fellow.” He took her hand. “Maybe you could introduce -“

“No, I’m not going to let you meet him, and I’m not going to let you recruit him!” She stood up, slamming her fists at the table. Her outburst earned her a slap from her ‘mother’. That was the first time they ever hit her.

“You ungrateful brat!” The woman pulled her hair. Angela was a grown adult, but she felt like that same 8-year old girl who lost her real parents all over again. “We raised you, fed you, dressed you, gave you an education… a life… and this is how you’ll repay us?!”

Fear pooled in her eyes when her ‘father’ stood up and calmly took out his prized gun that he had on display. It clicked. She was definitely that same girl who ran through Kyushu Island. It was her all along. “Cheon-sa… you’re a good girl. A smart one, even. You should reconsider this. Surely, you’re not going to throw away everything we’ve worked so hard for just for some guy… right?”

No. She definitely was the same girl, but girls grow up. They fight. And in this moment, she knew that she had to fight. “Lars isn’t just some guy!” Angela yelled, pushing the woman who held her. Her ‘mother’. “Unlike you, he has integrity! He’s smart and kind and has treated me like a family more than you did over the past few years!”

“ENOUGH!” Her ‘father’ shouted, firing a hollow shot at her. There were no bullets in that gun. Angela took that cue to run. To leave. She left Busan that night, weeping.

SOMBRA - her adoptive parents - told her that the strong rule and the weak die. Crying was weak. She wiped her tears. She had to be strong. Not for SOMBRA, but for Lars. For her family.

And thus, she never left. She stayed to protect Lars. Her family.

She thought she was dead when her 41-year-old self survived that plane crash that targeted the Bureau. That targeted her and her family.

She knew her efforts trying to sabotage the Bureau weren’t enough. But deep inside, she cared for them. Lars saw them as family, so she began to see them as a family too, especially during the times when they’ve put up with her daughters’ shenanigans, comforted her during the times she was down, supported all of her achievements and all of her crazy hobbies. They made her feel like a little girl again, freely exploring, healing the childhood that she lost.

However, she was not a little girl anymore. She had to prove herself. To fight.

And she paid the price heavily.

During her time in prison, guilt wrecked her for months. Her arrest made her realize that she wasn’t a lost and scared little girl, nor she wasn’t a woman who knew how to fight. She was a monster. 

And like the fairytales that she would read to her kids to make them fall asleep, monsters had to die.

So when SOMBRA broke her out, told her to bomb the Bureau, her family… She had to accept. But she had to go down with them. 

She snuck through the Bureau’s break room, planting the bomb while drunk. After planting it, she took another shot of whiskey. She is a monster through and through. She is SOMBRA. 

She thought she was dead when she planted that bomb. She thought she was going to kill herself along with the Bureau that day, but the agents caught her and brought her back to prison. And instead, Jonah was the one who took the hit.

Deep inside, she was thankful that the Bureau didn’t get hurt, that no one died due to the bomb she planted. That they had finally stopped SOMBRA. But she was still a monster. She killed someone and betrayed the Bureau. Tried to kill them, even. She tried to kill her family. 

SOMBRA may now be over, but she was still SOMBRA through and through. A monster. And monsters didn’t deserve a loving family.

She pushed them away. She made them believe that she was angry, full of hatred… she even told them that Dupont deserved to die… but she didn’t mean anything that she said. She was that same little girl in Kyushu that was begging for help. That was begging to be saved. 

But she believed that she was a lost cause. She cannot be saved anymore.

She thought she was dead when she drank a whole bottle of sleeping pills the night she returned to prison. She wanted to end everything. Her time in this world was now done anyway. She lost her purpose, everything she had worked so hard for, her family. The world hated her. The people she loves hated her. 

Still, she was a villain. A monster. And monsters didn’t deserve anything good in this life.

But instead of something else, probably the burning pits of hell, she found herself in a dreary hospital room when she woke up. On one side was a beeping heart monitor, and the other was a fresh bouquet of flowers.

Her heart thudded. She wanted to scream, cry, get out of here. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve this life.

A doctor entered the room, eyes widening once he saw her sitting up. “It’s good to see you awake, Mrs. Douglas. You’ve been in a coma for three years.”

Tears fell down her cheeks when she heard that surname. It reminded her of the girl she could’ve been. All this time, even when Lars said that he didn’t love her anymore, that he vowed to never see her again… he still never divorced her. 

No. He should hate her. Despise her. She didn’t deserve him.

Due to the thoughts running in her mind, she didn’t understand what the doctor was saying about her. All that she understood is that she won’t be returning to prison anymore. They were taking her to a psychiatric hospital.

She didn’t know who thought that she was still worth redeeming. She didn’t deserve empathy, not even pity. She was a monster. 

A therapist told her that she had a severe case of bipolar disorder and PTSD. They said that she was also admitted to a psychiatric hospital in Australia, which made her break down. Of all the places, why here? Why in the place where she once believed that she could run away from all of this, to just live a normal life?

Even though they told her that she wasn’t responsible for her actions, that she was brainwashed, manipulated by SOMBRA, she couldn’t believe them. How could she? She still did what she did, and she had to pay the price. Her family hated her. She did all of them on her own accord.

A year later, her therapist told her she had a visitor. She didn’t want to believe them. However, standing behind the therapist was Lars, wearing a visitation badge. 

He excused the therapist so he could enter the room. “Hi. How are you -“

Angela started to cry. Why was he here? Why was he like this? She didn’t deserve him. She wanted to push him away… but she couldn’t find the strength to.

Lars glanced at the therapist and then hugged her. “Hey, shh, it’s alright…”

“W-why are you here?” She managed to speak in between sobs. “You hate me.”

”Shh, I don’t hate you.” He whispered and then turned to the therapist. “Could you… give us a moment?”

The therapist nodded. “I’ll be nearby if you need anything.”

Once they left, he continued to comfort his wife. “I brought flowers, but they didn’t allow me to give them to you.”

”Why are you doing this?” She quietly asked. “I ruined everything… I tried to kill you… the Bureau… I killed someone…”

“Angela…” A tear fell down his eye. “I’ll admit that I wanted to hate you. I wanted to forget you. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.”

“But why didn’t you?!” She cried, turning her back on him. “I’m a terrible person, Lars…”

He had to choose his words for a moment. After a while, he spoke. “The prison told me you… overdosed. I was angry at you, but I was also worried. I honestly… didn’t want to lose you. I remember you said SOMBRA took you in when you were eight… That made me think and review your case.”

”That doesn’t excuse anything…”

”No, listen.” He took her hand, making her face him once again. “The Bureau was disbanded already, so while you were in a coma, I hired a private investigator to investigate your early life and your ties with SOMBRA. They manipulated you, Angela�� they abused you emotionally… something was wrong. I even asked Marina for help, and she agreed with me. She and I petitioned the court to review your case once again, I pleaded that you were not criminally responsible for what you did.”

”But I am, Lars! I killed someone! I have a long list of crimes that I have to pay for!”

”Your sickness and trauma are to blame, Angela. Not you. SOMBRA is to blame.” He brought his hand to her cheek to wipe her tears. “The private investigator found your adoptive parents, and I met with them… in jail.”

“You’re not supposed to meet them, they’re dangerous! I made sure of that…”

“Shh, I chose to meet with them, okay? They told me how you fought for me… for us…” He started to cry as well, tears continuously streaming down. “I remember how you told me that marrying me was the first time you disobeyed SOMBRA. So this time… I wanted to be the one to fight for you.”

“But… no…” Angela pulled away in disbelief. “I am SOMBRA. You shouldn’t… You and the girls deserve a better life… a life without me…”

“Hey… SOMBRA’s over, remember?” He smiled at her, his voice breaking. “They’ve been gone for years now. You’re not SOMBRA anymore. You’re free.”

She remembered how she heard that the Bureau took down SOMBRA. How she silently rejoiced. How all her fears and worries came to an end. She knew that Lars was right about one thing; she was free.

”Oh -“ Lars stopped upon seeing her break down again. “Can I hug you again?”

He didn’t have to ask her twice. She threw her arms around him, crying. They both cried together for who knows how long. 

“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but…” Lars sobbed. “I tried to move on, to find someone else… but they were just not you.”

“I honestly don’t blame you…” Angela knew that he deserved to be happy. Even if it meant that she was not the source of his happiness anymore.

”I’m also seeking help, y’know. What happened to you hurt me horribly. There was a point where I visited you everyday in the hospital, and the nurses scolded me for bringing you so many flowers…” He laughed in between tears. “When I heard that you woke up, I wanted to visit you, but the doctors didn’t let me. They said you were unstable. Then I requested them to transfer you here, but they still didn’t let me see you! This was the first time that they let me. I sent you letters instead, by the way… my therapist suggested it.”

She recalled the letters her therapist gave her. She broke away for a moment to get a box of papers hidden under her bed. They said they were from Lars, but she refused to believe them. “So they were really from you… I’m sorry, I thought that… I didn’t…”

”It’s okay, I understand.” He helped her with the box and they both carried it to the bed. “They’re also not letting the girls see you since they’re still young. But they’ve grown so much.”

”The… girls?” She would understand if her daughters hated her, if they didn’t consider her as their mother anymore. She understood if she was dead to them, mourning, grieving, but most likely hating her. She disappeared from their life at such a young age. Like her real parents did. 

“Yes, I’ve been trying to explain your situation to them. They’ve been having a hard time understanding it…”  They both looked at each other’s eyes. “But they still miss you. I miss you.”

For the first time in a while, Angela smiled. “I miss you too.”

“I love you, okay? I hope you’ll always remember that.”

In that afternoon, Angela rummaged through the papers, reading them with Lars one by one. Some made her laugh, some made her cry.

But at that moment, she realized that she was not dead. She was very, very much alive. And for once, she didn’t have to fight alone.

[cecilysass]

The Penultimate Partner Episode: Analyzing the Second-to-Last Episodes of Seasons 3-7

So I was thinking about the show’s tendency to do an episode that is explicitly about the Partnership—about the deep abiding bonds between Mulder and Scully—right before the season finale.

This doesn’t seem to happen in season 1 and 2 (the penultimate episodes are Roland and Our Town, respectively, which don’t seem to play the same role). And something different is happening in season 8 and 9, so I don't think they fit as well.

But during the show’s peak popularity, seasons 3-7, the second-to-last episode seems to be setting up baseline emotional stakes for whatever plotline is about to hit. These episodes are giving us the state of the partnership, reminding us how devoted they are to one another. They also tend to have to do with one or both partners having a distorted perception on reality that requires the other partner's intervention in some way. I’m calling them the Penultimate Partner episodes.

So can we look at the themes of each of these Partnership episodes and see development over time? I think yes. It’s gonna be long. I rewatched them all, so buckle up.

Season 3: Wetwired - partnership as trust Season 4: Demons - partnership as loyalty Season 5: Folie a Deux - partnership as shared madness Season 6: Field Trip - partnership as touchstones Season 7: Je Souhaite - partnership as happiness

Season 3: Wetwired  (right before Talitha Cumi)

This episode, like several in the Penultimate Partner episode category, involves a X-file that distorts perception. Because Scully can’t trust her own senses due to the mind control, she also can’t trust Mulder, calling into question the key tenet of their partnership. (And by season three, they have definitely established trust as the bedrock.)

Her gradual mistrust of Mulder in this episode is tense and painful; you can see on her face how much she argues with herself about it even as her mind is tricking her. Others who fall victim to this mind control phenomenon wind up murdering their romantic partner, but in the end of the episode, when they’re discussing what happened in the hospital, they both seem pretty unsurprised that Scully’s paranoia focused on Mulder. They both know, late season three, how crucial trust is between them. They understand that it’s Scully’s worst fear that Mulder would betray her. It’s not even news to them.

What Mulder’s worst fear might be is also hinted at, although it’s unsaid. He’s furious that her life is put at risk by the mysterious informant. When Mulder believes Scully may be dead and he’s going to identify her body, his reaction is chilling. He seems to completely shut down emotionally, not even showing any reaction to the Gunmen. Tellingly, when he is offered a choice between getting answers and going to ID Scully’s body, he doesn’t hesitate—he chooses Scully. (Sometimes people claim Mulder doesn’t show this kind of commitment to her until much later, even until Home Again in season 10, so it’s interesting to see it so unequivocal here.)   

I want to say that Scully’s anxiety about trusting Mulder in this episode is foreshadowing aspects of the cancer arc in the next season, but I don’t think that’s really what’s happening. This episode seems more like an entirely season 3 cap to the Anasazi / Blessing Way / Paperclip storyline, especially the murder of Melissa. Scully’s paranoia calls back Mulder’s in Anasazi, and Scully explicitly blames Mulder for her sister’s murder when she’s drawn a gun on him. Even just the fact that we're there with Maggie, who has a picture of Melissa displayed prominently, tells me that loss is supposed to be on both partners' minds. (Actually, the interaction between Mulder, Scully and Maggie is pretty amazing in this scene; they’re an emotionally complex trio who seem to be communicating on some other level. I love how when Mulder and Maggie are talking to freaked-out Scully they almost sound strangely unreal, almost like they really are speaking falsely. It allows us to imagine the scene as it looks from Scully’s point-of-view, as a massive betrayal.)

Wetwired is, technically, a mytharc episode, as this whole mind control thing seems to tie back into X and the Syndicate. Personally I think the episode’s ending, emphasizing the mytharc-related plot and X’s involvement and whatever tf was happening there, was a little misguided. For my tastes they would have done better to play up the more personal, character-based themes a little more. But I also think this episode was the first real Penultimate Partner episode, and it was setting some patterns that were going to be expanded on.

Season 4: Demons (before Gethsemane)

From the cold open, we can already tell this is already a more personal episode than Wetwired. Mulder is the one having perception problems now; he wakes from a disturbing dream, covered in blood, muddled memory. This is also technically a mytharc episode, but much more concerned with direct impact on character than Wetwired was. 

Scully instantly rushes to Mulder’s aid—walks right into his shower, for heaven’s sake—and absolutely never wavers in loyalty to him, even when he looks real, real guilty and a "rational" person would be suspicious. She is in fierce, must-protect-Mulder mode throughout this entire episode, from the moment she shows up palpating his head with her hands to her back-off behavior with the cops to her badass cold “I know what you do” comment to Dr. Goldstein. She also helps Mulder see through his distorted perception, telling him "this is not the way to the truth" as he holds a gun on her.

In this Penultimate Partner episode, we see something more than simple trust going on, although there’s trust, too. Maybe the word is loyalty or devotion. We see Mulder coming apart and Scully completely and utterly devoted to him. It’s actually very clear foreshadowing for the following week’s episode, Gethsemane. Mulder isn’t stable, and he needs Scully to keep him from “los[ing] his course,” as she says in Demons’ end narration. Gethsemane will follow up on the Mulder losing-his-course idea, and also will explore the idea that Scully’s bottomless support of Mulder isn’t always good for her. (This idea is voiced especially by Bill.) 

There are some ways in which this episode is a neat little bookend to Wetwired. In Wetwired, Scully flees to her mother’s house, desperate and paranoid; in Demons, Mulder, similarly unhinged, seeks out his mother at her house. In Wetwired, Scully sees things that aren’t there, and in Demons, it’s definitely implied that Mulder may be seeing things in his past that weren’t actually there. In Wetwired, Scully pulls a gun on Mulder, and in Demons, Mulder pulls one on Scully. 

I adore this episode, even though it’s definitely vulnerable to the critique that Mulder acts like a self-obsessed loon and Scully a hopeless enabler lol. Especially because it comes before the Gethsemane / Redux three parter, I wish the episode would have explicitly connected his behavior to the cancer arc, as I feel like that would have made his wild choices seem more understandable. If he felt like he needed to find answers faster because he knew Scully’s time was running out and he saw it all tied together with her fate, then we would get why he was acting so rashly. It would also tie more nicely into Gethsemane, which misleads the audience into thinking Mulder has killed himself, in part, because he believes she’s been given cancer to make him believe. But again, I love this episode. Scully showing up and putting that blanket around Mulder when he’s shaking. Her hugging him at the end when he’s desolate on the floor. This shows a partnership that’s been through Paper Hearts and Memento Mori—that’s moved beyond trust alone.

Season 5: Folie a Deux (before The End)

This is another episode about perception—about one partner seeing things the other can’t. Unlike in Wetwired or Demons, however, in this episode the altered perception actually represents the real truth, something everyone else fails to understand. The episode plays around with the tropes of earlier episodes like Wetwired, at first encouraging us to think that it's a delusion that Pincus is a monster, but then convincing us, through Mulder’s eyes, that the delusion is actually reality.  

As other people have observed, this episode ends up being a nice little metaphor for the whole show: Mulder knowing what no one else does, being ostracized and considered insane, asking Scully to find evidence to corroborate him and ultimately convincing her to believe him and see what he sees. Their partnership is, quite precisely, a madness shared by two. 

It’s a monster of the week, not a mytharc, so there’s no distraction of elaborate mytharc plot, just characters and monster. And this is a Vince Gilligan operation, so our focus is definitely on character. From the first scene with Mulder and Scully, we sense that we’re going to be talking about the partnership. Skinner gives them an assignment in Chicago that Mulder doesn’t think is worth it, and he complains in a particularly self-centered way to Scully, which she observes (“You’re saying I a lot.”) The episode is going to be very explicit that while Mulder might be monster boy, they are in this unhinged partnership situation together. Another important moment comes later, when Scully is calling the perp crazy for thinking he saw a monster, and Mulder says, “Well, I saw it, too.” Scully’s careful about-face after that, her delicate avoidance of implying she thinks Mulder is actually crazy, is part of the dance they’re doing at this late season five stage of their partnership. She doesn’t quite believe him, but she doesn’t knee-jerk not believe him either. 

And the foreshadowing of what’s to come in this one, whoo boy. Most obviously, we must acknowledge that 1013 knew exactly what they were doing when Mulder tells Scully “you’re my one in five billion.” A mere seven days from now, a mysterious beautiful ex who believes his theories is going to show up to immediately cast doubt on that claim. And this episode is also toying with the question of whether Scully actually does always back Mulder up when it’s important, when she has to accept she saw something illogical. At the end, does she tell Skinner she actually saw a giant bug in Mulder’s hospital room? We don’t know, but I think it’s implied she doesn’t. That’s all presaging what will happen in The Beginning coming off of Fight the Future. It’s Scully’s little way of resisting the madness, but it also hurts Mulder and damages the partnership, which will be a problem in season six. 

Season 6: Field Trip (before Biogenesis)

Full disclosure: this is my favorite episode. So I’m going to make some big claims about it. This is the ultimate Penultimate Partner episode—the one that best knits together what it wants to say about their partnership and what it wants to establish for the finale. It's a monster-of-the-week episode (another Vince Gilligan ep, with John Shiban) but refers to the mytharc often. It’s also one of the best episodes about their partnership, period. 

This is yet another episode about distorted perception. This time, however, under the influence of a giant mushroom, both partners are unable to perceive clearly, to determine what is real and what is a lie. And when they’re confused, they critically turn to one another to help them see what the truth is.

Coming off of season six, the partnership is rocky. Mulder is frustrated that after so many theories of his have borne out, he still can’t get the benefit of the doubt from Scully, something he explicitly says in the dialogue here. Scully has felt like she’s not been trusted or heard, like Mulder has turned to others (Diana Fowley, for example) rather than his partner.

This is an episode about how they absolutely need one another to be able to make sense of the world—that individually each of their points-of-view are not enough. In Mulder’s hallucination, Scully accepts his claims about alien life forms too completely, not applying enough skepticism, not pushing back against him. In Scully’s hallucination, a world without Mulder, everyone is unacceptably unquestioning of the status quo, refusing to dig deeper, lacking Mulder’s critical acumen and drive. Neither partner likes the feeling of being unopposed, and it makes both of them suspicious about the hallucination’s reality. They may think they want their own view to prevail, but they need one another to be a whole person.

The theme of what’s real and what’s not – and needing one another to discern the truth–is exactly what is picked up and developed further in the Biogenesis-Sixth Extinction-Amor Fati arc that follows this. Scully’s skepticism has to stretch to incorporate more of Mulder’s worldview to make sense of what she sees in the Ivory Coast, and of course, Mulder calls on Scully’s worldview to see through his misleading dream world in Amor Fati. In fact, you could argue Field Trip is really about the idea that Mulder and Scully are one another’s touchstones—the people they need to know what’s right and real. 

Incidentally, this episode also plays around with some of season 6’s other subtextual throughlines: Mulder and Scully’s anxieties about possibly entering a non-platonic relationship, their unease about what a normal, domestic life might even be for them. For the entire episode they’re directly compared and juxtaposed with the Schiffs, a young married couple who died on Brown Mountain. The Schiffs are a tall man and a redheaded woman. They even die hallucinating lying together on a hotel bed after she asked him to “hold her” (although I do seriously doubt 1013 was intentionally foreshadowing a full year ahead). The last shot is of Mulder reaching out to take Scully’s hand across the ambulance, suggesting a kind of partnership beyond just, you know, partnership. Which takes us to the next season.  

Season 7: Je Souhaite (before Requiem)

Truthfully, I don’t think this episode fits quite as well in the Penultimate Partner category. It doesn’t share some of the same traits as these other episodes—it’s not quite as notably about perception, for instance—and it’s not fundamentally about the partnership in the same way. But it does end up commenting on their partnership (even their relationship, really) as part of its theme, so I think we can include it—especially because its position right before Requiem ends up being important. 

Je Souhaite (btw, written and directed by Vince Gilligan) has a bit of an unsettled feeling to it because it was kind of treading water, waiting to see what happened with DD and the series. Nothing too monumental could happen with the partnership or the plot because it wasn’t clear to anyone what would happen next with the show: whether it would end or continue, whether DD would be involved or not.

So we have a story about Mulder and Scully making peace with not having a significant impact on the world—e.g. not bringing about world peace, not introducing invisible bodies to science. Instead, they are content to delightfully share a beer and comment that they have made one another “pretty happy” (as Scully says about Mulder). Through the jinni character, they seem to take the lesson that they can enjoy being with one another, accept the simple happiness that their relationship brings them. Rather than wish for success that comes too easily, they take joy in the little things with one another.

Comparing this episode to the Penultimate Partner episodes that come before, we can really see how Mulder and Scully’s dynamic has evolved by season seven. We have a Scully who is much more open to supernatural phenomena, for example, and whose skepticism seems more like a reflex or a defense mechanism now. Scully’s move towards belief is partially reflected in the plot of the episode: the X-file here really isn’t even science fiction. It is just straight up fantasy or magical realism. Aside from Scully's brief mention of a disease to explain what happened to the mouthless man in the cold open, no plausible scientific explanation for the jinni's long life or wishes is really even floated.

Scully is delighted by the discovery of the invisible body, and Mulder is visibly delighted by her delight. He’s also frustrated by her retreat into doubt when the body disappears, of course. But even the reversal into her old skepticism is half-hearted, as she soon after she's engaging in discussion with Mulder about what his final wish was. This is consistent with the overall blurring of the old hardline believer-skeptic dynamic we see in season 7. It’s also peeking ahead to Scully’s coming role as resident basement believer in season 8. 

The last scene, with the beers and Caddyshack, is meant to be a callback to djinni Jenn’s comment that she wishes she could “live my life moment by moment... enjoying it for what it is instead of... instead of worrying about what it isn't.” Mulder, we see, is taking a cue from her. (And good for him, as we almost never see these characters do this. Except on rare baseball-related occasions.)

However, this episode’s position right before Requiem—and right before the events of season 8—ends up giving this scene a real bittersweet bite. We know, after Requiem, that they were probably a romantic couple at this time. We know, after Requiem, that this time is going to be their last happy time together for a long while. Later in season 8, we learn that one lingering wish of Scully’s in season 7 is that she wanted to conceive a child with Mulder. And of course we know, after Requiem, that she gets her wish—but with a vicious catch, with a terrible side effect, much like what happens with the jinni’s wishes. 

So that’s my academic thesis on that. I know others have pointed out the existence of this type of episode before. What did I miss? Do you think I am wrong to leave out seasons 1, 2, 8, and 9? Why do we think these episodes focus so much on distorted perception? Interested to hear others’ thoughts (if they make it through this lol).

[trendywaifus]

hey!! i saw that your reqs are open so i'd like to request hc of eula, hu tao, beidou and baal comforting their s/o who thinks that they're annoying and a burden because of their past relationships who made them believe that. e.g the s/o is afraid to talk about their interests because they feel like they're boring and annoying them. thank you so much in advance if you decide to write my request!! i hope the holidays are going well for you!

i like this one! remember everyone, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re a less of a person. you’re more than they will ever be and you deserve more respect. someone who truly who loves and appreciate you will prove it! doesn’t even have to be a special someone, it can be family and friends. i’m also here for you whenever you feel like you’re at your lowest. (sorry for any errors and whatever im sleepy!)

— eula understands how you feel. coming from a widely—hated clan without any outside support, use to do a number on her. you feel as though nobody isn’t interested in how you feel or your interests. they look at you from outside lens and judge you without personally getting to know the real you—she understands. but don’t worry, she’s here to listen and unfold everything you’ve been wanting to say. she’s not good at comforting others but since it’s you, eula will do her best.

— you think you’re a burden? nonsense, don’t ever think like that; you make her darkest days bright. your smile, your laughter, it’s always engraved in her mind each time she fights and dances under the moonlight. you are one of her main sources of motivation, remember that. she’ll protect you with her life if she has to.

“ (name), that’s rather interesting, i could see you doing that, “ she says with a warm smile as you shyly tell her one of your interests. “ why didn’t you tell me sooner? “ you play with your hands nervously, gazing into her curious eyes, “ well, i’m use to others disregarding my interests. so. .i don’t really bother anymore.”eula’s face cutely scrunches up to a look of disdain and reaches out to hold your hand, her gloved fingers gingerly skimming across your palm. “ how unreal. my love, perhaps you should tell me who these others are? shall i enact vengeance on them? “

— like with eula, she understands how you feel in the realest level. she’s like the clown of the town, constantly getting talked about, judged, all of that stuff. yes, there’s times where she felt alone but she remembers her grandfather, zhongli, the traveller, and the friends she met as she breathes each day. there’s also you, how could she forget you? her special someone she dreams of so often.

— so when you tell her that you felt like a burden to others and to her, her usual cheery mood is gone from her face and hu tao’s serious. she listens, uncharacteristically quiet as she soaks in your words about your history with individuals who showed a lack of interest in you as a person. despite what was told about hu tao, she is a great listener.

“ my butterfly, all of what they said isn’t true, not at all.” her palm touches your cheek tenderly, she frowns. “ your voice is gentle to the ears; it managed to reach down and warm the cold, darkest feelings i’ve buried deep within my heart.” hu tao leans in to kiss between your eyebrows and pulls back with her signature smile. “ aiyah, you’re my muse after all. “

— as someone who’s been fighting for her life ever since she was a child, she understands how cruel teyvat and the people can be. she had to fight for respect and people to look in her direction. but now, she is a powerful captain with an excellent crew. she also has an amazing partner, a invaluable treasure that she would never give away and will protect with her life.

— when you spoke about your hesitance at revealing your interest to others, afraid of being seen as boring and uninteresting, beidou was shocked however she quickly recovered and continue to listen to you until you were done. she tells you how much she loves you with that toothy smile of hers and empathizes with how you feel.

she takes you into her strong arms, rubbing your back in a smoothing manner. “ sweetheart, you’re a strong person for openin’ up to me. don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, you’ve impacted my life in a positive way, i look forward to seein’ and hearin’ you talk everyday about anything and everything. don’t give those fool’s words anymore weight in your head than they already have, let it all be dead weight that you gotta start sinkin. “

— ei would genuinely be confused. it’s more like why could anyone mistreat you when you’re such a wonderful being? no matter how much she pondered at the thought of it even happening, she thinks the possibility is close to 0 and if it does happen, she will wipe the poor soul from existence.

— she is rather ignorant to social cues and not very quick in noticing human behavior unless it’s fear and anger. you have no reason to fear her and there’s nothing she has done to anger you. but when you show clear reluctance in telling her about your past and feelings when asked, she was worried but patient. when you finally unravel everything, ei felt terrible. how could she had not notice the signs? after this, ei’s more obliged to be more attentive towards your needs.

“ i. . see. “ ei grabs your wrist and gently guides you closer to her. her other hand places itself on the back of your neck and she rests your head against her chest in a comforting manner. “ i’m ashamed that i did not ask you this sooner and not being aware of your struggles. i will do whatever i can to make you feel how you make me feel, dear beloved. that’s one promise i will keep until i fall victim to erosion. “

[arsonlookers]

My Thalassophile

childe x fem! reader

This original story from @kiryoutann

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐃! 𝐀𝐔 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ::: 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐀

A/n: this is just my own ending thought of the story, if the original idea author @kiryoutann wanted this to be down i can delete this if they want. the perspective might be so confusing sorry about that I will read it again to correct it, in the future...hopefully.

The Mermaid reader this time as a supermodel was the heartbreaker, she will play with his heart this time around, you really do not want to bother with him but just seeing him and how he never even remember what he did centuries ago pissed you off and somehow made you ...feel something...and the pain of the betrayal, the reader wanted to make him feel what she felt centuries ago, though this means stooping low on his level centuries ago but why does that matter now?

It's been centuries yet you were still trapped on the past he had done and even if you wanted to move on, how? the reader already gave their heart for him....one heart he should have treasured and not broken.

A curse. they say, and it's true, for centuries you have made yourself believe that loving him was a curse. Meeting him was an unfortunate fate, and the fairy tale is not real....so is true love's kiss.

A heartbroken mermaid for centuries cursed by the land and by the sea for loving both.

both the impossible.

What an unfortunate fate it is that you two were both to meet again in this lifetime, a curse indeed.

Just like how the ocean will meet the land, again and again, never-ending repeat and yet never meant to be.

After planning and seducing him it took years, you made him fall harder and harder every day for her, without suspicion.

yet her heart was never to love another man again, he may be the same man from centuries ago the past should not be dwelled and yet she was trapped in the said past he had created.

Though from deep inside you know there was something that you had long been buried inside bloomed...yet you ignored it and kept stepping on it, not thinking too much for the man you long once loved.

As for Ajax? at first he really just wanted a break from everything and to stay away from love, yes he does flirt with people a lot but committing to the relationship? he can't... Remembering the pain he has gone through his the past 7 years with his ex's relationship, he just wanted a break from the emotion called love.

But when he met you as if something was pulling him in for you, how beautiful your eyes are, how shiny your hair is, and how mysterious you were, he was interested but inside his heart was beating, too much that he remembered was beating for his long-gone ex. though yes he was cautious still he thought "It's not gonna hurt to be her friend and have a deep relationship, right?" But every day was like a new feeling for him with you, it's as if you know him...you understand who he is, and for some reason this made him feel so connected with you.

Ajax, sweet Ajax was starting to get addicted and starts to love you deeply how amazing your voice is, and when he had nightmares of drowning (which is actually from his past but he always forgets what's it about) you were always there to reassure him, and sing him to sleep as if it was normal. it feels unreal and yet he wants you for himself though he also knows you want your freedom, so he stayed.

that one time when you said that you needed to go somewhere and it would take months or years to go back home in his arms, you said and promised that you would be back, and told him to just wait for you.

(this time around he knows, you were a mermaid and this makes him love you more without any question, though you never told him about your past and absolutely His past)

he was heartbroken when you said this, "you will be gone that long?" Ajax said laying his head on your lap and gazing you with sadness on his eyes

the thought of you leaving him was painful, his heart felt like it was going to burst by how, much it was squeezed, and yet the way you sounded missing your home and the sound of you talking about how much you wanted to see your family. It was heartbreaking.

"yes...I have decided to go home for a while" looking outside where the scenery was the ocean as if calling to you and how much you heard how it misses you too.

Ajax was speechless at the view he saw now, you look so sad and it pains him seeing you like this he doesn't want you to leave him but the thought of making you sad by staying on his side is also not an option.

he murmured silently

"i love you [name]..."

You heard this and made you look at him, you smiled gently and even Ajax notices how different this smile is from the other smile you have always given him...it looks genuine...yet sad.

though you never said 'i love you' back he was satisfied with this silence...because deep down he feels like every time you look at him makes you sad, he doesn't know why but it feels like he deserved it.

he still remembers that one time he heard your cries on the seabed, he remembers how painful that cries was, he didnt want to disturb you and yet he also dont want to leave you, so he decided to stay there...all night.

the next night he has a vivid dream, and as always he doesn't remember it but tears fall from his eyes... painful unknown feelings, he doesn't understand why, he doesn't know why, and yet he feels like he deserves it yet it feels like he doesn't deserve you... That same morning he was absent from the set and called it a sick day, when in reality he cried his heart out without even knowing what this painful feeling was and he didn't want to know.

he sat back on the bed and sat by your side skin to skin and he could feel your hair on his skin because of how close you were.

with this closeness, you decided to lay your head on his shoulder and never said anything just the sound of the ocean and silence

Ajax too looks outside the window, the moonlight reflecting on the ocean, it looks beautiful and yet he feels nostalgic. he closes his eyes and opens it again turning his head to yours, he can't see you fully but he can see it in how you look in the ocean, sadness.

how he can feel your breathing and how the air outside the window makes your hair flow gently.

He promises himself he will forever bury this in his memory and remember how beautiful you look tonight, after all, he has this feeling this will be the last night he will be seeing you like this...

"ok...i'll wait for you" he said sadly and yet he cant look at everywhere except you and this picture perfect in front of him.

this made you look at him and there was sadness and shocked on your eyes he can see it and yet there was also happiness shining on your beautiful orbs.

you didn't say anything You never said anything that night and just smiled happily at him.

the two of you lay there on the bed he hugs you and he keeps touching you as to remember everything about you, and how you feel so warm and how beautiful you are tonight.

he mumbles on your sleep form

"i'll love you...i'll wait for you.. even if it meant forever" as he closes his eyes and falls asleep

You heard him...you were never asleep from the start...and yet when he said that it made your heart squeeze ....you feel sadness.

in the cold night the ocean can be heard outside calling for her, yet in front of her was the man she once loved.

with his orange hair falling on his eyes, oh how you remember the first time you laid your eyes on him how you find his eyes beautiful and resemble the ocean, how it shines with you.

This time around you have seen it in his eyes were dark and it reminded you of the dark and cold ocean and yet it still shines now that he looks at you.

You moved his fluffy hair strands away from his face and

kissed his forehead.

as you close your eyes and feel yourself betray your past self, it hurts and yet so sad.

you mumbles so quietly that it blend on the sound of the ocean outside "i..love..you..aj..ax"

you stayed there for a quiet while and that night

Ajax fell asleep without you and was alone on the bed.

When Ajax woke up the next day, he could feel how cold the other side of the bed and this made him panic...yet again tears fell from his eyes, and he cried and cried that day, his heart was like being torn to pieces.

If once in the fairy tale of the centuries said that a brokenhearted mermaid caused the disaster that erased a kingdom, in that same land, A man cried his heart out and called out on the one he loves in the ocean, calling her name, and staying there on days on end.

he was always seen on the shore, still calling out for someone and yet people around him called him crazy. It doesn't matter he said. he keeps his gaze on the ocean and he keeps the memories he has with you, he never failed to remember your birthday and your anniversaries, he always faces the ocean every time he is sad and so does when he remembers you.

5 years later, Ajax becomes a successful actor, though he never accepts some happy endings in the movies he joined it was always a sad one, or either he was the unrequited second lead.

he was successful and yet he still remembers you every time, every day, every month, every year.

he stayed on his usual spot on the beach after a breakthrough in his career he went straight to the ocean, he talked to himself there and how happy he was, how he missed you, and how...much he loves you.

"[name] did you know...." he rambles on and on

"[name] I comes home to my family last week, sorry for not coming and visiting you, but even there I keep my eyes on the ocean" he sadly smiled

he keeps his gaze on the ocean as if expecting something to come out...expecting you to just hugged him and say hello, to hear your voice and to feel your touch.

and yet

Nothing.

tears fall out of his eyes "I miss you, baby" he says quietly the sound of the ocean overpowering his calling and yet so calming as if it's the way of hearing his call he can only hear the sound of the ocean back. but over that He can hear your voice calling out for him just like how his memories call out for him, you and him together sitting on your bed facing the ocean in your open balcony window and having you on his shoulder as the sound of the ocean in the background.

"I love you, [Name]"

[crimsonxe]

Me: Seeing Evermorrow and Dust Queen that look interesting -excited hopping in my seat-

Also me: Seeing that in the first the shitlord Syto is listed as a "casting aid" and that the obnoxious know-thing CRWBY bashing piece of shit that is Celtic is voicing Roman in both -nearly breaking my neck from shaking my damn head so hard-

In what fucking world do either of these shitlords that have shown everything except being fans of the show have any ground to be involved in any fan projects? Like these aren't even "questionable", they are straight up shitbags that have gone after CRWBY themselves.

Lets go over it:

They bash the show

They bash CRWBY

They fail at having a grasp on the damn show, characters, and relationship within as they fail repeatedly at understanding things in it and stating blatantly wrong or biased bullshit about it.

They have shown themselves as sexist & homophobic

They have shown themselves as disgusting assholes with bloated ego's that aren't deserved at all

Celtic doesn't even fit as a voice for Roman

Celtic who has obnoxiously and ridiculously stated how he's a better writer than the actual RWBY writers. I can't remember if he actually name dropped them, but honestly it wouldn't be shocking if he did. The guy that thought up "faunus heat cycles"; Velvet x Cardin; Cardin having an "actually a good guy deep down" angle; asspulled Roman back to life & linked him to fucking Oz as if that works in any damn way; did a sauna scene to have fanservice; had Blake essentially become a cop; Ilia getting harsher judgement; decided Shay D. Mann deserved an entire character arc (biggest insult is that creepass having a romantic relationship with Raven who is sooooooooooo damn beyond his level its unreal); repeatedly shoves the femme MC's behind males; etc thinks his ass is a better writer.

As aside: -pulls camera to full face cam- Celtic if you run across this, you aren't at all. You're not even close, you're just another incel chud peddling in right-wing-isms that lead to disgusting ass elements in your bullshit.

Celtic has a history of problematic elements within his "Ruining RWBY" bullshit

Syto tried to poison the well going into v9 via realizing what everyone else did in that Bees were coming and him trying to paint the pander angle that ignores the 10 years, 9 volumes of work put into BB leading up to said vibes people had about their becoming official.

Syto who tried to do Cherish his AU spinoff and failed; tried to do his own project w/o anything to do with RWBY and failed; and scurried back to another RWBY AU project

Syto who basically dived into the idea of Yang being an airhead party girl throwing out her entire true self. Not to mention his redesign sexualizing her in the exact aspects one would expect from an incel shitbag. Barely anything there waist, barely anything there top, massive cleavage.

Like these shitbags should be nowhere near fan projects. Don't give them normalization as if they aren't what they are.

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

SAKURA HARUNO (NARUTO)

1.) 1.) It is repeatedly stated throughout the series the areas in which she excels. We are told over and over again that she is gifted (early on in the series) or tremendously strong (end of the series) and yet with the exception of of the Sasori fight, there seems to be a staunch refusal to actually SHOW her being competent in a fight. 2.) her backstory ties into nothing plotwise as far as the overarching world and history of the village and its families. The three other leads (Sasuke Naruo, Kakashi) all get their own relevant backstory that gets delved into. But Sakura? Neither has one nor goes off and embroils herself personally into one of these overarching plot points. She is constantly forced to just be a companion/side character to the stories of her male counterparts. 3.) She’s given so much potential for a great powersuite and those all either go unrealized or she gets shown up by other characters. idk if this is what was meant by propaganda but its what i got

2.) Despite becoming the world’s best surgeon and doctor at age 17 (including doing open heart surgery in the middle of an active battlefield), her achievements are routinely undercut and underplayed by the canon.

It’s all the more disappointing because in some ways, she’s a very realistic and humanistic depiction of a teenage girl. Unlike her teammates, she grew up in what we would consider a pretty average family situation (two living parents who love her, even if they don’t understand her choices), and has relatively average goals at the beginning. Compared to her teammates who are orphans from dynastic ninja clans, who were basically born to a lineage of massive amounts of powerful ninja magic; Sakura’s civilian family has given her no genetic predisposition to being powerful. Despite this, she’s shown to be highly intelligent, achieving top scores on exams and having a deep knowledge for theory and concepts.

She begins the story having a crush on Sasuke Uchiha, a boy who has no interest in her, and hating Naruto, their village’s Omelas Child. However, as she works with her team, she bonds with them on a deeper level, and works very hard to meet their natural level of skill and not be deadweight on their team.

However, despite the fact that trios are treated with deep cultural and narrative significance throughout Naruto, the narrative quickly abandons the “Team 7 Trio” framing in all the ways that matter, becoming the Naruto-and-Sasuke show in all ways that matter. When Sakura gets her time to shine, she’s always undercut. Her massive physical strength and strong sense of self in Shippuden are never treated with the same reverence as her teammates’. Despite the fact that she can easily shatter rock and manipulate the ground with her sheer physical power, and that she was originally presented as good at genjutsu (illusion magic); she becomes a field medic/doctor – a carer/support role, rather than a DPS. Her decisions to advocate for herself and the people she cares about (such as trying to kill Sasuke) are treated as foolish and naive, not a heroic choice to try and help her friends at a large personal cost.

She also basically never gets to fight a man, except for one important case: Sasori. This is important, because the female characters in Naruto are routinely presented as less powerful and less of a threat than male characters. While her fight with Sasori is a fantastic arc, it ends with Sasori undercutting her victory by being like “well actually I wanted to die”, implying that he’d chosen to let her win, not that her win is well deserved. This is at the start of Shippuden, she doesn’t get a solo fight arc after that.

Of course, the most egregious thing done to Sakura is that she’s married off to Sasuke. Despite the fact that Sasuke is never once shown to give a shit about her, and the fact that her character development in a large part was about her giving up the childish and misogynistic desire to be a wife to the cute guy in her class, suddenly they’re together. Sasuke is a deadbeat husband, however, and immediately fucks off, to the point where he doesn’t recognise their child when he meets her, and tries to kill her. Sakura-the-housewife-waiting-at-the-window-for-her-husband’s-return is again now deeply in love with a man who doesn’t give a shit about her. The only photo she has of them together is shown to be a cutout of another photo of Sasuke stuck on a photo of her. She’s again trapped in a housewife box, her achievements and skill sideline to her ability to rear a child for the male lead. And worse, despite the fact she’s a very confident person who otherwise has no issue advocating for herself, she doesn’t really seem to fight back against this awful status quo in her relationship, grateful for the scraps of affection Sasuke delivers to her once a decade.

3.) Despite being on a team of three, she’s always side lined for the other two. Her whole thing is healing, then in a major arc at the end of the main series a character gets hurt and when she goes to attempt to heal them, she is pushed aside so Naruto can do his amazing magic healing that he just learned and is already better at it than her.

HINATA HYUUGA (NARUTO)

1.) When Hinata was introduced she goals, weaknesses, interesting interactions and relationships with characters other than naruto and a personality of her own. Post timeskip in shippuden, however, she was reduced down to simply ‘naruto’s future love interest’ and little else. The entire Hyuuga plotline was dropped and she no longer had any relevance or personality outside of naruto. Part 1 hinata was shy and insecure on the surface but underneath that she was determined & hardworking, even to her own detriment. Her struggles were compelling. Her interactions with neji and her family are something you look forward to seeing more of. In shippuden she’s like a flat carboard cutout of hinata. Her shyness exaggerated, her relationship with her family suddenly perfectly fine and boring. In part 1 naruto inspires her to keep trying but he isn’t the reason she’s working so hard, in shippuden he’s pretty much all she thinks about. Her change in character design really highlights these changes - the perfect little wife for cishet men to fantasise about.

2.) Her entire personality and arc is boiled down to “shy uwu waifu in love with Naruto” and basically any development she gets, which is barely at all because Kishimoto hates women, is as attributed to NARUTO and Naruto only. Even her reaction to her beloved COUSIN’S DEATH makes her be like “omg I love Naruto” and serves to further NaruHina, which is absolutely insane she would Not react like that. Naruto only starts being romantically interested in her at the beginning of like, The Last movie, which is after 500ish episodes of her being treated as the sidelined love interest who is devoted to a guy who only cares about her when she’s a damsel in distress on a fight.

There are so many parts of her character that are/could be interesting, like her part in the Hyuga Clan due to being born as a superior and her dynamic with her cousin Neji as a result, (which could have had SO many great moments of reconciliation and standing up for each other grrr grrr) an exploration of the impact of her bullying & being looked down upon (even when she’s supposed to be a superior member, which adds to the shame) LIKE MANY OF THE CAST, seriously the people Naruto trauma dumps to are mostly consisted of people unfairly treated like that and it could have been used to further NaruHina WHILE showing her struggles

She is an incredibly capable fighter but the moment Naruto is there, she instantly becomes defenseless and needs to be saved by her crush, mostly as a “wow look at him isn’t he so brave and kind to do this for her?!”

There’s an episode where she is literally used as a defenseless punching bag for Pein by trying to sacrifice herself for Naruto and telling him she loves him, JUST so he can be more angry and have more motivation to beat Pein’s ass (aside of the yknow. Killing his loved ones thing) AND her confession is ignored by Naruto for the rest of the series. Just like any moment she shows her crush for him is met with obliviousness, which would be fine if they weren’t the main couple and didn’t go on for THE ENTIRE SERIES!!!!

In Boruto, the shitty sequel, Naruto is basically her deadbeat husband in her bland lavander marriage and Boruto is rightfully mad about Naruto’s distance from the family and even says he left her basically a single mom and barely pays time to the family, and Hinata’s role in the show as the housewife is being like “no you see Boruto you have to understand your father’s pov as the Hokage” and the narrative treats NaruHina’s marriage as a Good, Healthy Thing as if the characters are not miserable in this marriage.

3.) Man I don’t even like her that much but she deserved SO much better. She was introduced as the heiress of a really powerful and renowed clan with complex dynamics, yet the author somehow decided to do almost NOTHING with the potential she had, and gave her very little personality besides being shy and fawning over the protagonist. She gets slightly more active in Shippuden (part 2), but her character still pretty much revolves around her love for Naruto, which sucks because again, she has so much potential. It’s no secret that women in Naruto are badly written, and Hinata certainly is no exception. The male characters get dozens of episodes/chapters about their motivations, their backstories, what pushes them to keep going, and Hinata gets almost nothing besides her lifelong crush on Naruto that we are reminded of literally every time she’s on screen.

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

Was thinking about Dennis coming home after North Dakota, and thinking about what if Mandy knows, what if Mandy is the only one who knows? I mean really knows like not just deeply suspects from all the skirting around, but what if Mandy is the only one Dennis was able to open up with/admit his real feelings about Mac to or even less specifically about anything to, because she’s not entrenched in everything the gang is, she’s from such a different world that on some level she’s got this sense of unrealness about her to Dennis, one that lets him feel like in contrast he can be more real himself to make up for that, because who else is gonna know?

Then was thinking about how each time when Dennis is away from the gang, as this unrealness seems to persist, he tends to let his guard down, be more vulnerable, more unsure, he slips into different roles, as if trying to figure himself out for the first time, figure out who he is outside the gang and everything its history entails, but what if when in ND, after everything with Mac, he did figure himself out, and maybe being with Mandy helps him see that and it’s hard for her not to see it too, see how he doesn’t belong there/can’t belong there, so she lets him go, but he was already too deep in the role, like a method actor gone too far, and now that he’s back, now that he’s not in that particular role but can’t exactly just happily return to his old role in the gang either, he’s trying to reconcile every role he’s ever had/created for himself within him throughout the years and cycle through them, trying desperately to see if any still fit, peeling away all the layers and masks he’s tried to get other people to see him as, (cold/emotionless, killer, womanizer, god, etc.)—all roles he’s also tried to see himself as so as to reason away and not face his traumas head on—until finally laid bare underneath is the real Dennis, the one he’s been keeping hidden for so long except in little glimpses when his grip on control slipped, the one that is sensitive and terrified and feels too much and too little, and doesn’t always understand why, the one who loves his friends, loves Mac, and just wants that in return, the one who’s been playing so many different roles for so long he’s almost forgotten what it’s like not to play one.

Like, the Dennis we start to see as the seasons go on is not Dennis the person, it’s Dennis the character, the one he’s created for himself and others have inadvertently created for him, the “I just wanted to live up to everyone’s expectations of me” result of his mother instilling this burning necessity to be this perfect golden boy in him, his father never letting him be emotionally open/trying to toughen him up by making sure he always expects the worst and just has to suck it up, Mrs. Klinksy forcing him to recontextualize his assault as more of a conquest of something he wanted on his part rather than what it was, etc, etc, so he becomes a golden god, he becomes a hardened shell that doesn’t let his feelings get to him, he becomes the guy who controls the women and never lets them control him because they’ve convinced him this is who he is, who he’s always been, right? *wavering* Right? And he tries so hard to convince everyone else, digging himself deeper and deeper into this persona no matter how ill fitting, (going further into the wall), letting this flanderization of anger and rage and emptiness and a scary, almost dangerous edge overtake him until even the one person who’s supposed to see the real him (because I know you, man) starts to fall for the mask, too. And he realizes he doesn’t want to play this role anymore, he never did, but the mask is stuck... the mask is stuck and no one even knows he’s wearing it.

[koinotame]

otome game ocs (old)

word count: 2.7K content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, nsfw (not explicit), unreality? (heroine is self aware she's in some story), reader is implied to have trouble both at home and school + some sort of skin disorder, yandere typical levels of violence

a/n: this is a repost (unedited)! basic idea: if you know those villainess isekai stories, yeah. that but yandere. under the cut for length + this is badly formatted. originally called villainess isekai, but otome game fits it better & is a bit more distinct from gacha isekai lol. i think i mention the story being a novel but um. don't mind that i'll revise it when their new intros get posted =w=b

quick note: the villainess is a girl, and is treated as such by society, but no comments are made about reader’s gender or body. the villainess’ gender isn’t mentioned much or really important to anything, but she herself will be referred to femininely while reader is entirely neutral.

ok so the basic premise is the same as most of the villainess stories. you get reincarnated into the body of some noble girl, except you very quickly learn that she is, um, know for her attitude problems. nobody likes her. it’s sad. your (her?) father seems very loving, at least, and he seems a bit surprised when you’re polite but doesn’t comment on it. she’s also… engaged to the crown prince, who she hassled into marrying her. her father seems almost relieved when you ask if you could possibly annul the engagement because it’s very clear he doesn’t love her… except when you go to do so, he gets on his knees and starts begging you to punish him and put him in his place. and then spends the rest of the time you spend there trying to convince you to take him back. this alone is enough to give you a headache—but when the heroine makes her appearance, you’re unsettled. despite the fact that the villainess was allegedly bullying her, she’s all smiles and sunshines and… almost seems to enjoy being around you more than the supposed love interests? and that’s when it dawns on you. that’s the heroine of that popular villainess novel you remember reading years ago and remember almost nothing of. and suddenly the previous owner of your body is trying to contact you, wanting her body back—but also wanting you beside her.

the crown prince danger level: 4/5 type: worshipper

the crown prince doesn’t care about his fiancé. she’s bratty and annoying and he doesn’t like how clingy she is. the less time he spends around her, the better. despite that, he can’t deny that the disgusted gaze you give him one day has excitement pooling between his legs and deep in his gut. he’s not sure how you found out about his tastes, but if this is an attempt at seducing him, it’s working. the more uninterested and uncaring you seem around him, the harder it gets to ignore how much he likes the treatment. so when you call for him specifically, he’s excited. that comes crashing down when you tell him you’d like to annul your engagement, and for a second he looks hopelessly lost and seconds away from spiraling into panic—until he realises. ah! he understands. you’re going to play around with him, aren’t you? he can barely contain his excitement, shaking as he kneels down and tells you he’s been naughty and you need to punish him and put him in his place! your face contorts and he assumes he’s not doing enough, so he starts kissing your feet. you make a noise that he can’t hear over his pounding heartbeat and kick him down and then just… leave. the thought of being lower than dirt to you makes his body feel like he’s on fire.

the more you treat him with disdain, the more he’s head over heels. the idea of you treating him like nothing more than dirt… he’s practically drooling whenever he thinks about you. he starts offering to pay for you and buy you whatever—anything!—you want and it’s the best decision he’s made in his life. others are amazed when they see the two of you out in public—the usually stoic and reserved prince following you around like a puppy, the roles reversed for once. if he didn’t have a public reputation to keep, he’d outright ask you to lead him around by a leash. he also adores the way you call him your little piggy bank mockingly, and he daydreams frequently about the time you pulled him close by his tie when he displeased you.

at first, he was mainly enamoured by the way you treated him, but over time he’s started to care for you, too. a… bit too deeply. if anyone talks badly about you in his presence, he has no hesitation in telling them off. he’s not above threatening them but he also just goes off on tangents about how great and wonderful you are, and everybody learns that the easiest way to avoid them is by not being mean to or about you. you’d say you appreciate the fact that people are nicer to you now, but you’re getting tired of his presence in the first place. a simple "shut up" from you is enough to silence him, though. you appreciate the quiet and he’s elated that you’re paying attention to him at all. and… has he been bad? do you… want to punish him? put him in his place? call him names? degra—no wait, wait, come back, please, darling—

incredibly clingy. has to be with you at all times and will seek you out if you try to avoid him. doesn’t take no for an answer and can be incredibly pushy. partially because he loves you that much and partially because he’s hoping you’ll finally put your foot down. adores showing off for you—you telling him off is wonderful, but your praise really gets to his head. also loves calling you sweet names and doing generally couple-y stuff. let him sit in his lap while he feeds you (or sit in his! he’s not picky), let him kiss your hand every time the two of you see each other, let him call you all the sweet pet names in the world. hey, you know what? the two of you will be wed anyway. why don’t you sleep in the same bed? no? aw, okay… are you sure? he won’t do anything directly against your wishes (apart from, you know, not leaving you alone) and doesn’t want to make you hate him (any more than you already do, anyway).

eventually he gets more desperate, though. he wants to be your toy, but he doesn’t want to be your toy because he forced you to be his owner. he wants you to choose him on your own… but you won’t. you barely even look his way without all his theatrics, and the thought tears him apart. he’s not stupid. changing himself won’t help, and as much as he hates it, he can’t live without you at this point. you’re as essential to him as breathing, so even if it means you’ll hate him, he can’t let you go. he’ll give you everything else you might want, though, so please don’t abandon him…?

whatever you want, just, please… don’t throw him away.

the heroine danger level: 3/5 type: obsessive

there’s always been something surreal about her life, but it’s not until she started reading that she realised what it was. she’s perfect. too perfect—uncomfortably so. people fawn over her even when she hasn’t done anything to deserve that. her life almost seems scripted—from the way she dresses to every encounter she has. it seems straight out of a fairytale. she stopped caring about how story-like her luck and life seemed from a young age. why does it matter? if that’s the way things are, that’s the way things are and there’s not much point in trying to change them. it’s when she starts reading, pouring through book over book, that she realise she might actually be in a story. the thought doesn’t make her feel empty, and it doesn’t make her feel full. what does get to her is the idea that she might’ve been made for someone—not someone in her universe, but someone far away. someone who’s watching her, who she’s meant to exist for. who she’s meant to impress. who she, more than anything, wants to impress.

once she realises that, she plays up her act. no longer is she the uncaring girl who goes along with what the universe has in store for her. no, she’s honing her acting and personality to be exactly as she imagines you’d like. maybe this is scripted too, some part of her whispers, but she doesn’t care. the idea of being a mere character, a doll meant to entertain someone she could never touch… it’s exhilarating. she loves it. she doesn’t know much about you, so she’ll have to make do. studying becomes her favourite thing to do, but it’s studying meant to impress you and not studying meant to be helpful in her life. what type of protagonist would you prefer? the naive, innocent type, or the one who takes charge more? should she be able to cook or bake? or maybe both? what type of love interest would you prefer to partner her with? her mother watches all of this unfold, unsure if she should be concerned about what her daughter is dedicating time to or happy about her finally having some real motivation in life.

then one day the thought occurs to her. what if… what if you wanted to see everything firsthand? surely seeing a live play unfold in front of your eyes is more enticing than just reading a book? she’s never been an expert in business, and she’s not gifted with magic, but if there’s something she’s good at it’s seduction. finding a suitable body for you (that annoying daughter of one of the most powerful dukes in the kingdom… ah, maybe you’d prefer to have a rival? no, if you’re there then you could decide that) proves easy, and finding a mage who’s willing to help her out is even easier. her mother comments on how she’s even peppier than usual after she learns of the sudden personality change. it’s worked… she spends some extra time while you’re adjusting to prepare so her entrance will be perfect.

but it isn’t. you barely recognise her, and you seem uninterested in having anything to do with her. you seem completely uninterested in one of the love interests, your fiancé, too. that’s fine… until she realises you couldn’t care less about her either way. that has her frantic… until she realises that works just as well. why put up an act when there’s no need to? she’ll fawn over you, instead. and fawn she does. she follows you everywhere, content to just watch and not converse, and always insists on sitting next to you or partnering up with you. and she stares. it’s almost a bit creepy. she doesn’t mind if you find her creepy. being entertainment to you was fine, but if you don’t care about her then she’s going to take the opportunity to be in your presence as much as possible.

she has a shrine for you. there’s no beating around the bush—her entire life revolves around you. you’re sacred to her, and now that she’s got a shot at interacting with you directly she’s most definitely going to take note of everything you say. her memory, when it comes to you, is impressive, but she still writes down everything important (which is…. literally everything) about you into a little notebook she carries everywhere. and she likes keeping your things. of course she’d never dare steal from you! but a napkin or fork that you threw away aren’t things you’ll notice. she spends most of her pocket money on buying things she thinks you’d like. she’d like to give them to you directly, in person, one day, but for now they’ll have to make do in her shrine.

you gave her life meaning, and she’s enamoured with you as a result. she’ll do anything for you, whether you want her to or not.

the villainess danger level: 2/5 type: doting

smart and calculating as she may be, the villainess has always been bratty and spoiled. it’s not until she’s thrown into someone else’s body in a completely foreign universe that she sobers up a bit. she has complaints about everything, of course, but she’s never been the type to sit on her butt and wait for things to solve themselves. your room is a mess, for starters, and what are these? clothes? they’re rags. she needs a better wardrobe, even if she’s planning on getting back as soon as possible. your parents? she’s good with words. whatever they throw at her, she’ll throw back double and leave them speechless. the five overdue assignments? ugh, she needs to get used to modern technology anyway. and she’s bored. she might as well. your teachers might think you’ve cheated from how well she’s doing them. she also absolutely insists on taking proper care of your body. she’s living in it now, and she won’t deal with these pesky skin problems. or, at least, she’ll minimise the discomfort as much as possible. she’s meticulous, if nothing else.

it’s through doing all of this that she starts learning about you. the more she uncovers from files on your computer or through anecdotes from your family, the more she starts finding some strange form of comfort in you. at first, the idea of it weirds her out. she must be feeling this way because she’s in your body, right? right. that’s it. there’s no way she’s finding solace in some nobody like you. but the more time passes, the more she realises that’s just not true. she does like you. she does spend a lot of time wishing she could talk to you directly. and she has started scouring over everything you’ve left behind trying to understand you better and know you more fully. she feels almost protective of you. she’s living your life, and you’re possibly gone forever. the thought makes her feel weirdly empty inside. she ignores the thought that you wouldn’t like her as much as possible.

it doesn’t take her too long to realise that she didn’t die, and neither did you. researching swapping bodies is… nigh impossible, with the way magic doesn’t seem to exist here. so she turns to her dreams, attempting to contact you through that. she has a fair idea of what you’re like, so it’s not too hard for her to visualise you and reach out. the first time the two of you talk, it’s nothing special. you’re so sleepy you’re kind of delirious, and she’s doing nothing but ranting about how your life is all sorts of terrible and you better be taking care of her body. or else. you hear her? the more frequently you talk, the less bite there is to her words. and the more attached to you she gets, to the point where she starts thinking that, perhaps, fate is real. fate is real and the two of you were always meant to cross paths like this. the thought has her feeling unusually giddy, and at this point her previous fiancé is all but forgotten.

she wants to be with you. she never wants to part from you. she wants to hold you and brave the world together. you’re special and she wants to get to know you intimately. she’s not particularly interested in monopolising you… mainly because she knows those other two aren’t even competition. or, well, she doesn’t know that since you don’t really mention them, but if she did she wouldn’t care. she’s your friend, and what can those two claim? nothing. she, unlike those two, is normal. mostly. she respects your wishes. for the most part. she— the list goes on. she does put you on a pedestal, but it’s different from the other two. you’re special and wonderful, but that doesn’t mean you’re unreachable for her. you’re not untouchable—you’re just you. that’s what she enjoys the most about you.

don’t misunderstand. she may be the most normal, but she’s still haughty. you’re on her level and she enjoys doting on you, but anyone else? they’re beneath the both of you. she’ll gladly create a throne out of corpses and daintily help you sit, then seat herself next to you. she’s cruel, just not to you. you’re the only one able to reign her in anymore, and she loves you for it. the two of you were meant for each other, and she’ll bring the whole country down with her before letting you go. nobody else deserves you—only she does. and you deserve only the best… namely her.

she loves you, more than anything. more than even herself. and she wants to give you the entire world, just as you deserve. for pulling her out of that dark spot, and for existing.

[ladybellissima]

Finding Love Katakuri x Reader Part 32

Crying out his name, (Y/N) rushed to his side and took his face into her hands. So much time passed, since she was able to be close to him again. It felt so unreal. So hard to show her long needed affection towards him in that condition.

His whole body trembled of her soft skin on his. He couldn't believe that his pleadings were heard and accepted and he was able to have her by his side. Her soft lips landed on his and roughly he kissed back. Hungrily he tried to get as close as possible. He missed her so much. God if he wasn't cuffed up at this god damn wall, he sure would have already pressed her small form into his chest. Kiss after kiss she smiled weakly, while tears rolled down her cheeks. (Y/N) didn't want to stop. She wanted to drown in his sweet touch and forget everything around her. She could feel by his strained look that he was thinking the same. Resting her forehead against his she sighed deeply.

"Katakuri…. I don't have much time..", her sweet voice let him shiver.

"You shouldn't be here in the first place…"

"I could say the same….", she spoke strained and he had to chuckle, but it sounded more frustrated than amused. As much as he was grateful to see her, he couldn't let her go on like that. Since he knew that she was at this godforsaken place, he thought, no prayed that she would get out of that alive. Compared to her reckless acts back then, this was on a whole different level. Katakuri's heart was heavy about the words he had to say, but it was necessary.

"(Y/N)… Listen..", he started, but was interrupted by her quick moves to get her bag.

"Katakuri here you have to eat something… "

Looking down at the small doughnuts and the sweet expression of his wife, it pained even more. She was doing so much just for him. He didn't know how she was able to get these. Out of all sweets she was able to bring him his favorites at a place like this. And the reason always let him ask himself how blessed he was all this time.

She loved him.

"I have to say that the circumstances aren't the best ones to eat with you for the first time..i already had planned our merienda together.. .", he spoke sadly, while (Y/N) brushed his cheek lovingly.

"Don't focus on such things. Now it's important that you get some food into your stomach.", (Y/N) whispered with a smile, while holding the dessert up to his mouth. Taking a small bite, it felt relieving to finally taste something sweet. But honestly he didn't care right now about his condition.

"Good… But not as good as yours…", he whispered, while eating one doughnut after another. (Y/N) cherished this bittersweet moment. For him it was the first time that someone other than his few siblings saw him eating. It was a special moment with a horrible timing. Nevertheless she was happy to see that his pale face got more color.

"Katakuri I will get you out of here…", she spoke seriously and could see his eyes narrowing. Before she was able to go on he cut in.

"(Y/N) stop..It's enough. You already played with your life and seeing your outfit I can imagine in what trouble you are right now.", he started stressed and watched her frustrated gaze.

"No you don't understand… I have a plan. I have a map and a ship, I just have to make sure how we get to the underground entrance without making a scene..", she spoke hopefully but his angered look stayed the same. Why wasn't he happy about it? Relieved or motivated?

" (Y/N) listen to me.",he started and she could already imagine what he was going to say. Tears rolled down her face and she bite her lip to control her emotions.

"Take the map, go to the ship and leave as long as you are able to… Please… Stay alive and get out of here. Leave everything behind…", his voice broke, because deep down he hated it to say it. Deep down he wanted to go with her, but it wasn't possible. Not at such place.

" Never will I go without you…how dare you to say that…Why don't you believe in me..", she shot back angered, while Katakuri knew all too well that her stubbornness wouldn't allow that.

"(Y/N) don't be stupid. The Admirals here are merciless monsters. Some are worse than the evilst pirates out there. If they find out what you did… God damn it. Listen to me. You have a future. You can leave this place and start from the beginning. You are out of Mama's territory. Out of her reach..You had to go through so much.  Leave this horrible life behind. You are too precious to me that I let you waste your life because of me… ",he spoke while his tears rolled down his cheeks. She couldn't believe what he was saying. Closing her eyes she wished to just wake up from this nightmare.

" what are you saying.. A life without you is horrible… Why do you still think so low of yourself after what we've been through.. Don't push me away Katakuri. Stop breaking my heart.", she stuttered and could here his frustrated growl.

"God I love you so much…", he cried out and was ingulfed into a deep hug from his wife. Both cried desperately. Both knew that things seemed so useless.

"You deserve so much more (Y/N)… A life in peace.. Not as a pirate..a man like me with crimes and blood on his hands isn't allowed to have you..look where we are. How deep you fall just because of me. ",he whispered, while she kissed him deeply.

"Please Katakuri.. I am exactly where I want to be…", she spoke sadly and he hated himself to break her heart. She had to life. She had to move on.

"I have to, because I love you. I am so grateful that you showed me a world I would never be able to see. Your love is and was the most precious treasure I ever got… But I have to let it go.. I let you go (Y/N)…", he spoke those hurtful words, which let her cry even more.

" No I am able to get you out of here. I came this far. I worked hard and risk everything to come to you. Don't give up Katakuri.", she spoke, while trying to get the hand cuffs off, but it was locked with a special mechanism.

"It's useless my dear. Only the higher ranked marines have the key.", he watched her desperate look sadly.

"This can't be true… I got so far…", she whispered emotionless, broken and most of all empty inside.

"He is right. Only high ranked marines have a key. Like me.", a voice echoed through the cell and let them froze in the spot. Shocked Katakuri's look fell to the cell door. The long white coat hang proudly on the man's strong shoulders, while his serious look was piercing them.

" Cap… Captain Coby… "

Mouth agape she watched the young man walking closer. His look was more than pissed. (Y/N) was completely helpless of what to do now. Looking at the pink haired man, she could see his pained expression.

" (Y/N)… Princess of Exotica…", he spoke first, while lifting his hand with the first page of a newspaper. Confused she watched his actions and gasp after she was met with a picture of herself.

"What… What is this?", she stuttered shocked, while Katakuri pulled on the chains to get closer to his wife.

"Or better (Y/N) Charlotte. Wife of Katakuri Charlotte."

Saying her name, he threw the newspaper before her feet and crossed his arms angered. (Y/N) fell to her knees, while taking the paper to her hands.

" The end or the beginning of a nightmare?

(Y/N) Charlotte soon a widow?

The man with the highest bounty, Katakuri Charlotte, proud and strongest son of Charlotte LinLin was captured by the marines and will get executed in one month. Before this incident he was able to marry a sweet breathtaking woman by the name (Y/N). It was an political arrangement, nevertheless his wife seemed pretty happy by his side at the wedding ceremony of Pudding Charlotte. Act or not? Who knows. The question is what will happen now with this fallen angel? "

Under the artical was a small photo of an arrogant smiling Morgans. Touching the photo of her, (Y/N) realized that whatever she was doing, whatever idea would have popped up in her mind, that her fate and that of Katakuri was already settled. Life was really playing against them. A weak smile made its way on her face and after all tears she already had shared, there were still plenty enough and rolling down her face. Touching the photo she gave it a closer look. She looked so unbelievable happy. Her bright smile was shown to the world, while she was holding Katakuri's hand. He wasn't completely on the photo, because of his height.

Katakuri was right. She too was so grateful to cherish so many sweet moments with him. To experience such an intense feeling like never before. And she was sure that she would think about this, till the end and hold onto it even in their darkest hour. Coby watched the broken girl before him and he felt terrible inside.

Would she plead now for her freedom?

For a chance to escape?

God he couldn't even stand the thought about it. His mind was racing, while dealing with his hurt feelings. She betrayed the marines, the Admiral, everyone around her, but what pained the most was that she betrayed him. Something he would have never imagined ever. After he got her out of that ridiculous bonbon, his first thought was how beautiful and innocent she looked. And after her sweet words left her mouth, hearing this soft angelic voice, he thought that she was flawless on the inside and out.

Was this all show?

(Y/N) knew that it was useless to run away, to attack him, which she would never be able to, so she decided to do the only thing, which was possible now.

"I guess you got me, Captain Coby", she whispered exhausted and got up from the ground. Katakuri pulled onto his chains and growled angered of what would happen next. Looking to her husband she brushed against his cheek lovingly. Her look wandered back to the captain, who watched her mouth agape. With a bright smile and falling tears, she faced her death without any regret. As the loyal wife she was.

"Will you kill me now?"

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy weekend everyone :). We’ve reached the episode where Emmett and Lucy’s relationship comes to an abrupt end. Get to delve into why it ended and see Tim help her through it like he does. It’s a solid ep for them. Also more growth for our boy. Lets get going.

3x08 Bad Blood

We start with Lucy waking up to a cowardly breakup text from Emmett. Ugh. Not only that he’s dragging Tim into to it to grab his stuff from her. Extra helping of coward. I kinda wanna nut check him for this. No matter how Lucy treated the relationship this was unwarranted. I can’t stand people who aren’t forward with their feelings. Eject out of relationship through a text message instead of doing it face to face. Confrontation isn't fun but its better than doing this. Because that's all Emmett will be remembered for. Is having zero balls about their breakup. That's the legacy he's decided to leave.

It’s the first thing Lucy talks to Jackson about when she gets to work. She’s so mad and rightfully so IMO. Asking if he’s 14 years old? Why he couldn’t do it to her face? (man has no balls or integrity would be my guess) Jackson tells her sadly that’s most guys these days. She’s lucky she didn’t just get ghosted. So I guess he's one level above Uber coward then. Tim is within ear shot of all this. Asking Lucy if they can just get to work now?

Lucy ignores his plea to just go to work. Instead asking him if Emmett talked to him about this? Tim replies no why would he? That when they hang out its not a feelings party LOL Also If Emmett did Tim would’ve defended Lucy and told Emmett he was an idiot. I bet you he was far too scared to tell Tim about what he did. Especially after he ate him alive in 2x19. No way in hell he was coming to Tim about hurting her. Dude wouldn't have survived that convo.

Tim has the most Tim Bradford answer ever when he replies if she wants his advice? To Tim it’s so clear. He treated her badly to end the relationship. So naturally she just needs to walk it off. Cut that off emotionally and move on. Saying he clearly wasn’t the right guy for her. (He very much was not… *cough you are cough*) He’s always so brusk at first in his advice to her. Then once they’re alone in the shop away from Jackson he gets softer. I think part of that advice he gave here was cause they weren’t alone. How he is with her one on one is so different than when they have an audience.

We pan back to them finishing up a call. Lucy asking if Tim had ever been dumped out of the blue before? Then he makes a hilarious dark joke about Isabel. The change in this man regarding his ex-wife is unreal. The place he’s in now that he can use what happened to him in a sarcastic way is amazing. It has a dark edge to it like satire but progress none the less.

Clearly saying it to bring a little perspective to her about her situation. Lucy recognizes that but has to know the Why. I can’t blame her I’m the same way. It’s hard for me to let things go with no explanation. Especially when its affected me on a deep level. Lucy is practically begging Tim to ask Emmet WHY did he do this? This is something that is going to consume her day till she gets some answers.

Tim doesn’t have time to reply because he see’s the shop has been tagged. He goes white as a ghost. Lucy is trying not to laugh because she doesn’t understand what’s happening. Then Tim touches it and it’s fresh. He loses it and calls in the calvary. Lucy is looking around in a panic trying to asses the threat. Wondering why this feels like a DEFCON 1 situation right now.

We return to them at the station. Tim is explaining the situation to her. That 3Eyez was active from 2006-2010. Telling her they had victims all over the city. Whenever they got close to catching them it stopped. Tim assumed since it’s been so long they stopped. He also lets her know he checks the data base every 3 months. Just in case he shows up in another city.

Lucy says wow he must’ve been hardcore for him to obsess like this. Asks Tim what his biggest crime was? He tells her it’s him being a tagger. Costing the city hundred of thousands of dollars in repairs. Lucy is confused and says ok…in property damage though.... She is trying to connect why he’s so obsessed with them.

Then we find out his shop was tagged when he was a rookie. Not only that but he let it happen right under his nose. Lucy is getting a MAJOR kick out of this. Laughing and enjoying this piece of his history. Best part of her day so far. For a couple reasons. One he made a big ol' mistake as a rookie. You know she loves that. Delights her to no end. Especially with how he has berated her mistakes as his boot. Second she knows he must've had some unrelenting teasing attached to this moment. It happened right under his nose.

She is down right giddy as she is putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Asking him if he had a nickname? That after an incident like that no way he didn’t garner a nickname of some sort. Lucy is so desperate to get any intel on him pre-her. Especially in his own boot days. Tim can sense how damn eager she is about this. Tries to shut it down with a defensive ‘No…’ hahaha god I love them sfm. Lucy is enjoying teasing him about this far too much LOL

Lucy continues on saying this why he’s so intent on catching this guy. It’s personal. Tim tries to deflect as he does. Saying no. He’s a criminal and it’s their job to stop him. (Sure love sure....) Lucy tries to insert some logic into the situation by saying this seems pointless. The way he snatches back the photo it’s clear it’s not pointless to him…His wounded pride about an early mistake haunting him. Can't say I wouldn't be the same way. I take my failures so seriously even when they're not serious.

Jackson and Wade see 3Eyez mid tagging. They call it in and Tim hears it. Has them immediately attach to their call. Grey steps out of the shop and his back goes out. Jackson and Lucy go to help him. Tim stays in the shop and wants to go after the tagger. Leaving Lucy and Jackson behind to stay with Grey till ambulance arrives. Tim think he spots them in an ally and leaves his shop. It ends up being a dead end for him. He returns to which gets tagged again LOL Poor Tim can’t win for losing in this ep. He’s so mad.

The ambulance arrives for Grey. Lucy recognizes Dave from her time with Emmett. Asks if he works with him? He is instantly flirty with her and says Yes. He replies back she’s dating Emmet? Lucy says not anymore. His forwardness continues when he says how gorgeous she is. That he would be a fool to let her go. (I mean obviously... ) Lucy starts to see this as an opportunity to get back at Emmett. Not her most mature move here but she's going for it anyways.

Jackson can see this developing and isn’t on board. Gotta love him being frank with her about it afterwards. Lucy is just as forward and asks Dave out. Tells him Jackson will give him her number. Clearly only going out with this guy to get back at Emmett. Jackson immediately calls her on it. Lucy pulling a Tim defects what he’s saying. Before he can grill her further Tim pulls up in their tagged shop LOL He tells her not to say a word about it when he rolls up LMAO It’s too damn funny. He could not be more agitated about this.

Lucy is going on about her date with Dave. Asking Tim where they should go for dinner? Tim just makes a disapproving face. Lucy catches on real quick. Asking if he isn’t approving of her plan? Since he hasn't replied Lucy just goes OFF on a rant. Tim doesn’t even have to say anything. It’s almost like she unburdening her soul with the guilt she feels. Wanting him to say anything to justify or right her decision. Saying yeah maybe she is dating this guy to make Emmet jealous...

Tim says nothing and Lucy continues on saying Emmett deserves this. Radio silence... Then she point blank asks if he can say something to her please? She’s so desperate for his POV on this. Because when it comes to Lucy his emotional intelligence is off the charts. She needs his wisdom in this situation. Tim sighs and finally breaks. Says this is the first time In WEEKS she’s even mentioned Emmett. Lucy tries to deflect it by saying he doesn’t allow personal talk.

Tim doesn’t let her get away with that at all. Just like she calls him out he returns the favor in kind. Saying and yet we still have these conversations despite that. Basically saying if Emmett meant anything to her he would’ve been brought up to Tim. Even if he didn’t want to hear about it. That in all the conversations over the past few weeks she never once mentioned him. Lucy is still a little confused asks ‘What do you mean?’

It’s then Tim comes down with the truth hammer. It’s insane how well he can just zero in on her relationships. Like a mechanic looking at a car and spotting all the issues. This is something he does in the future with Chris in 5x08 as well. Helps her notice and face these issues. The issue in this instance being she was never invested in Emmett. That he treated the relationship the same way she did. With no care or effort. That it didn't matter. You watch the realization wash over her.

Like being smacked in the face with the truth. Melissa really crushes this portion. You can see her realizing what he's saying is true. That it's really sinking in and the guilt kicks in. Just like how only Lucy can talk to Tim like she does. It's the same for Tim with her. Only he can deliver the same telling her like it is that she does. This is what she wanted from this conversation though. Perspective, truth and the why behind it. Sometimes that hurts. This is something we learn with the relationships she has before Tim though. That's she never really all in with them.

She’s never really invested enough because they’re not what she already has with Tim. That deep inexplicable bond they share. It will forever take precedence over any of the other men she has in her life. They will ALWAYS pale in comparison to him. Now I don’t think she realizes she’s doing this at this point. But it’s exactly what she is doing. Especially knowing her next relationship and how that ends and why.

Leave it to Tim to deliver the why she has been searching for all day. The sad look of realization on her face gets to Tim though. You can see it above. He knows she's hurting now and distracted. So he does what he does best. Distracts her. Asks her what she thinks 3Eyez next plan is? Asking if they’re done for the day? Trying to get her brain moving. Get her out of her mental funk.

Even when Lucy explains what she thinks is their next plan she is still sad and distracted. So Tim offers up the info she so desperately wanted earlier. Offering a piece of his past to help heal her present. Something he’s done before and will only ever do for her. I love him not only telling her but having Isabel be involved in it. He has her laughing and smiling early into his story. Mission accomplished.

Using a good memory he has and sharing a part of his history to help her feel better. This is an underrated moment in the episode. I love it sfm. He needs to make sure she is ok. So he does this by offering up a piece of himself to her. That no personal life rule is a legit joke at this point haha

Tim has not shared a lot of happy moments if at all about Isabel. This was another massive step forward to the Tim we all know in s5. Willing to do anything for her especially if it makes her feel better. This tactic works like a charm. She is smiling and laughing at his story. Saying how sweet it was cause I mean it was. We forget there was a big chunk of time Tim was very happy with Isabel. Him sharing that vulnerability with her always floors me. Such a good scene. Look at how he is in that final gif. He's shared a past moment about Isabel and a happy one at that. He is not mad or grumpy he is happily reminiscing. Looking back and have it not hurt him but to just smile. This is HUGE for him.

They receive a falling incident call. Make their way towards it. Tim goes over trying to make sure this woman is ok. Lucy is trying to get his attention. Love her using his nickname to get his attention. ' Eagle eyes look up' Haha He finally looks where Lucy is staring and sees her tag. He then realizes it’s 3Eyez that’s in front of him.

This is their married scene of the episode. Lucy correcting him when he says how many times she’s tagged his shop. Can’t help herself and he looks up at her like really? You think now is this time for that? LMAO. Lucy knows when to shut it and walk away from being right. I love her body posture as she says this too. It’s too funny. Even has the most wifey look as she says it. Once again the ONLY person he allows to talk to him like this is her. It’s wonderful.

Tim joins her solo in her hospital room. Asks her why she started up again? She lets Tim know her husband left her....For his massage therapist. That she wasted the last 7 years of her life. You watch how her story impacts him. The empathy in his eyes when she’s telling him her story. Tim then asks 'Did she do this to get back at him?' She shakes her head tells him no. She just wanted to feel young again.

Then he does something truly lovely. He uncuffs her and gives her some lovely advice. Even makes her smile. Saying her husband is an idiot with a sweet smile. You can't tell me Lucy Chen hasn’t had an impact on this man. How is empathy has grown tenfold. Lets himself be kind and soft with others again.

This moment is proof of that. He spent the whole episode hunting her down. Wanting his justice for his past mistake. Then finding out she’s human and with a relatable past. He lets her go with just the misdemeanor and builds her up before he goes. Lucy would be so proud.

Speaking of Lucy she is filling out paperwork when she runs into Dave. He asks her if they’re still on for tonight? It’s then Lucy has to let him know her reasons behind it. Especially after her talk with Tim earlier. He seems ok with the reasoning. (Cause she’s beautiful that’s why.)

He tells her Emmett dumped her over text. He deserves this. Lucy can’t go forward with it. I’m proud of her for not being petty. That she wants to go out for the right reasons. Not because she’s hurt and angry. He tells he tells her he respects that. But in two weeks he’s gonna ask her again. We all know this legit goes nowhere LOL Never hear of Dave again but was a good moment of growth for Lucy.

~~~~~

Side notes non-Chenford.

Poor Jackson getting pulled in two different directions about his career. Both wanting to set up his entire life for him. Nice to watch him stand up for himself with them.

Oscar’s SL pretty hilarious. He’s always funny to watch come on. Do love Lopez wanting to murder him LOL She had good reason.

As always thank you to all who engage with these reviews. Your likes, comments and reblogs fuel my desire to write them. You’re all amazing. Shall see you all in 3x09 :)

[joesalw]

As someone who has always enjoyed Taylor's music, and is almost the same age as her, the behaviour of these past few months has been unreal at best and almost ruined it for me. It's like the worst version of all the antics I used to dislike from a decade ago, without the excuse for youth and inexperience: she is reaching her mid thirties!

And I could not for the life of me understand how someone could dive deep into this fame-hungry performance and selling your personal life for clouts after years of doing the opposite, and talking about how much this behaviour had made you suffer.

Then it clicked. That probably Joe was the one to break up with her, and everything since then has been a performance to get back at him and a rejection of the years spent together, and of the way they had built their life. But whatever goes behind the scene, and I hope she at least has a genuine connection with the people in her life, from the way she has dealt with her new realtionships to inserting herself into her ex divorce narrative her behaviour has been so hard to move on from. It's hard to deny the deep desire for a constant spotlight on her personal life when you know she can make sure it's not there, as she has done so for years. Helping Sophie Turner was sweet, but did it have to become a headline with a pap walk? This is not something that happens because she is famous and she can't help it, it's something she is clearly seeking and organising with her team. And I can't for the life of me imagine a version of wanting this level of attention on yourself that is not completely patological.

I wish I could just listen to the music without knowing anything about her life.

You can't listen to her music without knowing anything about her life because her music just revolves around it. It is addictive because of the controversy they spread not because of the production or quality. And when you realize she has turned into a terrible person, her music starts sounding terrible too

[finitepeace]

september reads: hannigram

Fortune’s Fool by CoraWritesThings | 25k words, WIP last updated 2022 | In Louisiana, a serial killer dubbed “The Grimm Reaper” has murdered three people and left their corpses in twisted versions of fairytales. Jack Crawford sends Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter to follow the case’s leads, and their investigation leads them to the carnival, where an encounter with a mysterious fortune teller leaves Will shaken. Now, it seems as though her predictions for Will are coming true...and that isn’t exactly great news, considering that they include deceit, death, and a deep, soulmate-like connection with Hannibal that holds the potential to be more destructive than everything else combined.

Once More, With Feeling by FourthAxis | 10k words, last updated 2017 | Hannibal sat up, groggy from sleep and confused as he looked around. He was not in a hospital bed, nor the narrow cot of his prison. Or any prison for that matter. The bed was familiar, as was the room, because once they belonged to him before the machine of time and unfortunate events turned it into a walk-in museum for curious tourists. Or -- After taking a tumble off the cliff, Hannibal wakes up to a world several years in the past, his memories intact, and the fateful first meeting with Will just about to happen. This time around his priorities are a bit different.

through a glass by amare | 46k words, M | Will wakes up in a universe where he and Hannibal are dating

les bois du cerf by Breakmybones (CarterReid) | 24k words | Will was different, that was obvious. He dreamed of killers, darkness and flames devouring feathers - things that no normal person would ever think of. But he wasn't normal. And neither was his soul-mark.

He Who Holds the Devil by astramaxima (shotgunsinlace) | 53k Words, WIP | A missing persons case turned homicide sends the FBI overseas, to a grisly scene at the foothills of a medieval castle. A decades old mystery slowly unravels into a complicated web of things best considered unreal, and left untouched. At the center of it, Will Graham bears the burden of madness and suspicion when all roads lead, inexplicably, back to him.

Mischief Nights: A Romantic Comedy for Serial Killers by astramaxima (shotgunsinlace) | 28k words | He’s supposed to be the lure, but somewhere down the line he lost complete control of the situation. It starts with a social worker inside a horse, followed by his psychiatrist driving an hour to the middle of nowhere to bring him homemade pumpkin spice coffee, and ends with an invitation to a dinner party on Halloween. The week can only get so much weirder.

More Myself Than I Am by StratsWrites | 9k words | Everyone has a soulmate. Someone they will connect with on such an intimate level that they are like one mind in two bodies. It comes on the cusp of adulthood, a shared link between two minds. It will start with feelings, emotions shared across the connection. Some people claim senses; smell and sound. Those who are thoroughly, intensely intertwined can claim to send their very thoughts towards each other, although it’s generally considered bad luck to use the connection to find each other sooner than you are meant to. It is a wonderful thing, to know that no matter who you are or what you’ve done, somebody out there will understand you. Or at least, it’s supposed to be.

The Borderland State by nekosmuse | T, 42k words | Three years after Hannibal's arrest, Will Graham stands on the front porch of his Georgian seaside home and watches twin headlights navigate the winding stretch of his lane. There is only one reason Jack Crawford would travel all this way, in the rain: Hannibal Lecter has escaped from prison, and no one knows where he is.

How To Save A Life (The Cannibal-Friendly Handbook) by Kittendiamore | T, 3k words | Will tries to jump off a bridge but ends up offering himself up to a cannibalistic serial killer

radon and its daughters by chaparral_crown | 59k words | Hobbs doesn't go away after he dies. Neither does his daughter, or Will's desire to keep her and any that are like her, or Hannibal's insistence that he must, no matter how ill-suited Will thinks he is to be a parent. Season 1 AU.

The Way A Knife Loves A Heart by Linpatootie | 23k words | Will Graham is unprecedented in Hannibal Lecter’s life and he falls for him with a kind of messy violence. This doesn’t bode too well for our Will, but he may not object to it as much as one might expect.

[mordenheim]

Fictober 2023 15: “Fine, explain it to me.”

“You'll think I'm crazy...” Julie sat in the passenger seat, fingers twirling the little blue crystal charm that her lover had gifted to her. Julie seemed to never take the necklace off except to shower.

“I promise I won't, babe. We've been together for years now and you know you can tell me anything.” Angela looked a little concerned at her girlfriend. She'd been planning on using this trip to propose to her, but now? Julie seemed to be having some kind of nervous breakdown.

“You wouldn't understand. It's just... It's too unreal.”

“Fine, explain it to me.”

Closing her eyes, Julie took a deep breath and slowly began to spin a tale that was just beyond belief. She spoke of an average day in the shopping center, stressed out from a long day at work and just completely on edge. She had been in a rush to get through the crowd and literally ran over a poor little old woman, knocking her right into the fountain!

The old lady crawled out, cursing and shouting at Julie, calling her a “big oaf” who should watch where she was going. Julie, having no patience for this abuse told the woman she was so shore she should have to wear a hat with a flag on it so people would notice her.

“Oh, when I'm through with you, EVERYONE will be beneath your notice! You.. you BEAST!” Shouting that, the old woman grabbed Julie by the arm and she felt a weird electric shock rum through her whole body.

Julie took a deep breath as she got through it all and turned towards Angela. “Ever since then, I've been cursed.. I turn into... a monster.”

“A monster.. and what triggers this curse?” Angela asked, turning towards her lover, paying less attention to the road than she should.

She bit her bottom lip, “Uh.. so far, really severe stress. Anger is one. If I let myself get too hungry? If I get injured, even a paper cut it can trigger because it seems to heal me...”

Her lover turned to face her again, “Look, I'm not gonna say you're crazy, this is just a lot to take in, okay? I...” “ANGIE LOOK OUT!!!”

She turned just in time to see the sharp turn ahead and slammed on the breaks. The car went out of control on the loose gravel and kept going straight ahead, slamming hard into the trunk of a tree as her vision went black.

Angela slowly came to, holding her head in agony. She could see blood in the airbag in front of her, barely. Her vision was blurred and she was woozy. Her head was spinning as she heard the slow, steady tick of the cooling engine, but she could hear Julie moaning as well.

“Jules, Jules, you okay?”

She just heard more moans and the sound of tearing cloth. She figured Julie must have grabbed the emergency tool and was cutting her seat belt free until she hears the creak of warping metal and the entire car started to tilt! The whole thing lurched to the side before slamming back down.

Angela rubbed at her eyes, clearing her vision then looked over towards the side of the car where Julie had been. The whole passenger side was a mangled mess. She let out a cry as she thought Julie must have been flung from the vehicle.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang that made Angie jump. What looked like a huge, two-fingered hand gripped the top edge of the door and ripped it off suddenly. A second reached in and grabbed her seat belt, tearing it like it was made of tissue.

She was slowly lifted out of the twisted wreck and set down on the ground. Before her stood some sort of giraffe creature, towering above her. It had to be close to twenty five feet tall including the long neck. It, she, knelt down in front of her and slowly lowered its head. It had very obviously humanoid and female features.

Once it was at eye level, something glistening caught her eye. The bright blue crystal pendant. “J.. Julie? Is that you?”

She nodded her big head, almost looking ashamed. Angela reached out to touch her, rubbing the soft fur of her cheek. “This... This is real... I'm not concussed and hallucinating, you're really..”

Her voice was a deep rumble as she forced out a “Yes...”

Angela looked up at her, blinking a few more times, eyes going from the ruined car to her lover and back. “Well, this really is a lot to take in. YOU'RE a lot to take in...”

Julie's huge head hung even lower as she felt a wave of grief wash over her. Until she felt small, soft hands stroke her long neck, then wrap around it, a shoulder sliding up under her chin.

“Yeah, you're a whole lot more than I bargained for, but I think we can learn to deal with this together.”

[evanpetersbuttocks]

Well this fandom not all but some ridiculous people are so unreal and crazy asf don't believe them when they say oh we wish he finds the right person to settle down with he deserves but deep down inside them they wish if he's dating some girl to dumb her right a way I don't blame them every Evan fan wants to be her place but to be rude and hateful asf towards his new girlfriend or friend or I don't really know what kind of relation is between them that's unacceptable I have the blog the real blog that everyone looking for idk if she's dating him but def she has something with him and I'll never gonna share it because she changed her Tumblr so they don't annoy her anymore she claimed that she got hateful messages and death threat from anonymous people I don't blame her or blame Frances or anyone who is close to E because some people have jealousy and hate issues grow up and leave him alone stop infantilise him he's a grown ass man not a baby everyone mind his own business

true it or not, i respect your efforts to reduce the level of negativity regarding the jealousy and envy of some people in general in the fandom. we must understand that evan, like all of us, has friends and acquaintances and we cannot and should not fence off him from society. everyone has the right to privacy and is not obliged to show it. evan has every right to live the way he wants, meet whoever he wants and spend evenings with whom and where he wants

[biogreys]

Depersonalization cure stories

#DEPERSONALIZATION CURE STORIES PROFESSIONAL#

The patients experience signs of reactive depression with sadness, hopeless, self-belittling and self-criticism. A patient blames himself, his “evil habits,” “wrong life style,” neglecting medical advice or family warning. The second type of the negative emotional and psychological reactions to ineffective treatment of depersonalization is one with the negativity directed inside.

#DEPERSONALIZATION CURE STORIES PROFESSIONAL#

However, an attentive and listening professional is able to see, behind this defense, the true pain of a suffering patient who is exhausted and desperate for understanding and help. Such attitudes negatively interfere with treatment, compromising the best therapeutic efforts. The patients complain that “it hurts to find yourself left without support, just one-to-one with the suffocating pain of unreality.” As a result, the patients might develop a confrontational attitude to treatment ranging from dry irony to defensive opposition. They experience resentment, mistrust and anger toward mental health practitioners or their own families and friends. Patients with the first type of reactions direct their negative feelings outside, accusing “incompetent physicians,” “unskillful therapists,” “wrong medications” and “unsupportive families.” The patients feel mistreated, neglected and disregarded. This typology is based on the direction of patient’s frustration and other negative feelings. Three types of negative emotional and psychological reactions to ineffective treatment of depersonalization could be discerned. In many cases, the more a patient ruminates, “why do I keep failing to gain relief from depersonalization?”, the more pessimistic, disappointed and angry the patient feels. Again and again a patient goes over and thinks through the story of trying to fix her depersonalization, scrutinize all details of psychiatric consultations, effects of medication and comments of therapists. Reflection that are so typical for people with depersonalization, frequently dramatically advance to a near-obsessive analysis of the process of treatment. The signs of this distress vary from annoyance and frustration to anger and despair. In addition to struggling with feeling unreal and detached, a person suffers from distress of not being able to move toward recovery. The symptoms of depersonalization itself are aggravated by the patient’s emotional and psychological a reaction to having those treatment resistant symptoms. The third stage is characterized by complication and extension of the clinical picture. The first and second stages have been described in two previous posts. Finally a person with depersonalization has an opportunity to enter the fourth stage: living life with depersonalization at its most optimal level. Unfortunately, in many cases the second stage is not resolved by recovery, but instead followed by the third stage: distress on realization that in spite of extended, diligent (and frequently very expensive) treatment, depersonalization still persists. The second stage comes with hopes for recovery after the diagnosis of depersonalization has been made. The first stage is anxious uncertainty prior to depersonalization having been diagnosed. Stories of people with depersonalization demonstrate four stages of a relationship between a patient and his or her disease of unreality of self and world. And I owe you my apologies for tardiness with this post. I owe you deep gratitude for your ideas, advice and stories. First, my most sincere thanks to all who support this blog with their notes, remarks and comments.

[redrobin-detective]

The late Daniel Fenton

It was shaping up to be a beautiful if chilly December day and Casper High, as always, was bustling. It was 7:49 and class was about to start. The teacher watched the last few kids stumbling in at various levels of wakefulness. He already knew who would be the ones to rush in after the bell but that was alright. Life was too short to stress about being a few minutes late to class, especially in Amity Park of all places.

He looked up to see Madison, one of his shyer students walk in before making a beeline for his desk. She was biting her lip and nervously rubbing her hand down her skirt. “Hey,” she began quietly.

“Good morning. What’s up, Mads?” He asked casually. She looked upset, he could probably put on a video for the class if she needed to talk. They really needed a permanent counselor but the constant ghost attacks ran off most of them so he’d taken up the unofficial mantle. It felt good to help his students like that, make up for past wrongs.

“Are we um, expecting any new students?” She asked, her eyes darting over to the door she’d just come through. “Any transfers, exchange students or anything like that?”

“No,” the teacher frowned. “Amity isn’t the kind of place people transfer into. Why?”

“There’s a kid in the hallway,” she mumbled. “I don’t recognize him, he’s got a backpack and everything but he’s... I don’t know he doesn’t feel right.”

“Oh you’re talking about that weird dark haired kid,” Kyle said as he entered and sat down with a slouch. But even the class slacker looked unusually tense. “Dude’s creepy, can’t put my finger on why but he definitely doesn’t belong.”

“Oh,” was all the teacher had to say. Suddenly he realized how cold the classroom had become, the uncomfortable feeling that was pressing ever so slightly down on them. “I suppose it makes sense, the ghosts have been quiet lately with the Truce and all. He probably got bored.”

“Sir?” Madison said.

“Shannon,” he said instead, looking over at the frizzy haired girl hunched over her sketchbook furiously at work. “Would you do me a favor and move to the vacant seat in the second row? Just for today.”

“What? Why?” the girl whined even as she gathered up her various arts supplies and got ready to move.

“That’s Mr. Fenton’s seat,” he said taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes in preparation for what he was about to see. Danny would come here, of course he would. This was Lancer’s old classroom and Danny had him for first period English Lit. He and Dash both did.

“Mr. Baxter? What’s going on, is it a ghost?” Malik asked from the back row while Shannon shuffled to her new temporary seat.

“Yes but you don’t need to be scared,” he said softly, evenly. “He won’t hurt you.” The bell rang but Dash didn’t start the lesson. Instead, he waited. Danny had never been on time to class the entire time Dash had known him, of course death wouldn’t change that.

“Sorry, I’m late Mr. Lancer,” Dash gripped his desk so he didn’t jump when Danny Fenton simply appeared in front of his desk instead of walking through the door like any other student. “My folks couldn’t drive me, they’re still working on their stupid ghost portal.” A quick glance over at this class showed varying levels of fear, shock and curiosity but they were Amity kids through and through. The cold, powerful energy radiating off Fenton told them it was best to play along with whatever the ghost wanted.

“Perfectly alright Mr. Fenton,” Dash said softly, searching the 14 year old’s perpetually young face. He hadn’t changed a bit since Dash last saw him their second week of freshman year. It seemed unreal seeing how the years had taken their toll on Casper’s favorite son, Dash Baxter. God had they really been that young once? “Take a seat and we’ll get started.”

Danny shrugged and walked over to the seat Shannon had just vacated. He sat just the same, one leg stretched out and the other propped up against the leg of the desk. As soon as he took off the backpack and put it around the chair, it disappeared. He didn’t say anything else, just sat as stared at Dash with piercing blue eyes like he could see right through him.

“We had been talking about the lead up to the Civil War but let’s table that for today,” Dash said, proud his voice only wavered a little. He knew other people had seen Fenton around town. Lina saw him standing outside the Nasty Burger maybe five or so years ago. Dale, who used to live near Fenton Works swore he sometimes saw someone moving through the windows of the long abandoned house. He’d always secretly dreaded the thought of seeing Danny Fenton again, afraid he’d finally get was coming to him.

“Instead, we’re going to talk about local history,” he continued, not daring to take his eyes off the undead teen. Every other living student was tense, afraid. He wished he could assure them that the ghost wouldn’t lay a hand on them. In the event Fenton decided to ditch the hero schtick, it would be Dash and Dash alone he’d come after. “Amity Park has long had rumors of being haunted dating all the way back to the 1600s. It wasn’t until the last century that scientists determined that Amity Park is located on top of a thin spot between our world and the ghost realm. Natural portals form here all the time allowing spirits to pass through.”

No one spoke and barely anyone breathed except for Danny would wasn’t breathing at all. He just sat and stared at Dash with steady, unblinking eyes.

“Jack and Maddie Fenton were the scientists who discovered the weak point in reality in Amity. They devoted their entire life to the study of ghosts and made remarkable advancements in our knowledge of ectobiology and culture, the first being,” he paused as Danny cocked his head in confusion, squinting his eyes suspiciously at Dash. “The first being their manmade portal to the ghost zone. The portal remained active for almost two decades for research purposes but was shut down following their deaths.”

“You’re not Mr. Lancer,” Danny said suddenly, his eyes shifting from baby blue to an ectoplasmic green. Marty, who was sitting to the left of Danny, swallowed a squeak of fear and squeezed his eyes shut.

“No,” Dash sighed, “Lancer died almost thirty years ago now. Best teacher I ever had, he gave me his blessing when he passed on the job to me.”

“I,” the ghost ran his hand through his hair which was starting to lose its color. Seeing Fenton looking so scared and confused made him ache. It reminded him of old times. Dash had spent most of his life making sure he helped hurt kids if only to make up for the one he’d never been able to make it up to. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s okay, Danny,” he soothed. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“The portal, it wasn’t working at first,” Danny justified, his aura glowing a little more. “Sam and Tuck, they were curious. They wanted to look but I told them it wasn’t allowed, Sam, Sam she dared me to go in. I put on the hazmat suit and went inside and found the on button inside. I accidentally hit it and-” he paused midsentence and looked down at his hands. They weren’t pale flesh anymore but covered in white gloves. The black was completely bleached from his hair. A few of the students gasped as they saw the strange would be student melt into Phantom, the ghostly hero who’d been protecting their town since their parents were young. “I died.”

So much time had gone by. People were born and people were buried and the truth became distorted until it was just a legend passed jokingly around cafeteria lunch tables. Amity’s youth had forgotten their town’s history until it was sitting in a desk, trying once more to be one of them.

“You did,” Dash said sadly. He remembered hearing the news of Fenton's death. An assembly had been called the morning after the accident. Lancer had cried at the podium, Manson and Foley hadn’t returned to school for a week and had never been the same again. Dash hadn’t known what to think at the time, only that the kid he’d beat up for the crime of being different would never show up to school again. Or so he’d thought. “It was a tragedy, you were mourned by a lot of people.”

“I know you, don’t I?” Danny said quietly before he sat up straighter. “Dash?”

“In the flesh,” Dash grinned shakily.

“But you’re so old,” Danny said, once more distressed. “Your hair is grey and there’s wrinkles on your face and-and you’re a teacher now?” The last line was said with incredulity, his eyes flaring again. “You used to push me down the stone steps of the school and shove me into my locker and call me names.”

“Yeah, I did,” he sighed, feeling every one of his years. He was pushing 70 but he didn’t think he’d ever stop feeling like a stupid 14 year old who took out his frustrations on the ones who didn’t deserve it. “But you were the last; I never touched another kid again. I’m married now, four kids. I’m vice principal now, teach History and coach the school’s football team. It’s,” his voice caught again, still unable to process how young and stupid Fenton looked sitting there like no time had passed at all. It made Dash feel like all his accomplishments and attempts to be better would never amount to anything so long as his last victim roamed the earth unable to find peace. “It doesn’t fix what I did back then but I make damn sure that there won’t be any bullying at Casper so long as I’m here.”

“Huh,” Danny said, slouching once more in his seat but it looked less like his earlier teenage laziness and more weary. He and Dash were the same age after all, just because only one of them got old doesn’t mean time didn’t still affect them. “You did change, a lot of things did.” Danny looked down at the desk, “how long has it been?”

“Almost 50 years,” Dash sighed. “My wife wants me to retire but I guess I always find more things to do.” He paused then decided it was now or never. “I’m sorry Danny, for hurting you back then. I wish I'd gotten to know you better.”

For just a moment, Danny was perfectly clear. Even half floating out of his chair and looking like the local celebrity, his eyes were so painfully human. A boy killed before he ever got a chance to get started. Who’s will to protect was so strong it lasted half a century. It haunted him late at night to think of the glory and power of Phantom overshadowing just how incredible Danny Fenton had been. Not that anyone had seen it at the time. Soon there wouldn’t be anyone left to remember that quiet, kind teenager and then Danny Fenton really would be dead. Kill him just as thoroughly as that portal had.

The moment was broken by a breath of cold leaking out of the ghost’s lips and, just like that, his highschool classmate was gone and Phantom was left in his stead. He looked curiously around the classroom as if he didn’t know how he’d gotten there.

“There’s a ghost, stay here and don’t leave unless the fighting gets too close. I’ll get it though, don’t worry. No kids are dying today.” Maybe it was Dash’s imagination but he thought he saw Phantom’s eyes linger on him for an extra moment, trying to place where he knew the teacher from. Dash just smiled.

“Our lives are in your hands. Good luck, Phantom,” the ghost teen saluted before fading away entirely. Dash let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, suddenly exhausted but also lighter at the same time. It wasn’t every day you got to look your mistakes in the face and apologize. “Shannon, you can move back now.”

“No, I’m okay here,” Shannon said as she flipped to a new page in her sketchbook and looked intently at the spot where Fenton had once sat. “It’s like you said, that’s Danny’s seat.”

“I had no idea, Phantom’s been around for like, ever,” Freddie mumbled, pushing up his glasses. “But he used to be just like us.” And still was, Dash thought sadly. Danny would never grow old, never go to space like he’d always dreamed or marry Manson like he’d probably intended to. He was stuck, in more ways than one for who knows how long.

“Yes, that’s why it’s important to know your history. The Civil War and my other lessons are important but we can’t forget these smaller, more intimate histories. If we lose these lessons to time then we risk repeating the same mistakes over again.” He looked his students in the eyes, holding their attention.

“So we’ll continue today with the local history. Before he was ghost butt kicking superhero, Phantom was Danny Fenton, son of the local ghost hunters and a bit of an outcast in town. The Daniel Fenton Foundation was founded about a year after his death and was-”