#i want to believe i deserve kindness but it's a frequent battle

[monstermoviedean]

thanks for being nice to me <3

[the-writer-arrived]

Disciplinary Method

Synopsis: you cannot stand veritas ratio, just the sight of him (or his stupid statues) makes your blood boil and causes you to argue with him everytime. sick of your attitude towards him, dr ratio believes you deserve to be taught some discipline.

Character: dr ratio.

Warnings: afab!gn!reader; explicit smut; reader is a member of the intelligentsia guild; kind of brat taming; semi-public sex (you two fuck in an empty classroom); fingering; use of a bullet vibrator; rivals to lovers but not really?? more like fuck buddies? rivals that fuck each other?

A/N: don't look at me, i lost the battle against my demons and was forced to write this!!!

<<This work has sexual themes and is not suitable for minors. If you click on read more, I am not responsable for any discomfort you may feel reading this. You have been warned.>>

The Intelligentsia Guild is a place that welcomes people from all walks of life that have the desire to learn. You are fortunate enough to be one of their scholars and you love teaching, love seeing the spark of passion for knowledge in your students' eyes.

But it seems like not everyone in the Guild thinks the same as you.

"Fail. Get out of my sight!"

Those words are frequently said by Veritas Ratio, or Dr Ratio, your insufferable colleague.

The first time you met, he barely spared a glance at your direction and complained about the arrival of another 'simpleton'. Suffice to say that that was a declaration of war.

From that day onwards, whenever you two would cross paths in the hallways, one would throw a snarky comment which would prompt a jab from the other until it becomes a full out argument (you'd call it 'academic debate' but whatever).

What other people don't know is that most of those arguments between you two end up in a way that was quite unprofessional...

----------

"I can barely hear you. 0 points."

"Stop grading me, I'm not one of your stude- fuck!"

The harsh pull of your poor nipple interrupts your complaint.

You don't know how long you've been in this empty classroom, your pants and underwear hanging on your ankle while Veritas keeps you on his lap, your legs spread open as he tortures your chest from under your shirt with one hand and keeps teasing your folds with the other.

"You kept running that annoying mouth of yours the whole day to get on my nerves, but now you want to keep quiet?"

He makes another attempt to make you moan louder, this time pinching your sensitive clit, and he would have succeeded, if you hadn't bitten down your lip to stop the sound from escaping. The scholar clicks his tongue in annoyance at your stubborness.

"If that's how you want to play, be my guest. Let's see how far you can hold on with this."

Veritas' hand leaves your chest to grab something that makes your eyes go wide: a small, silver bullet vibrator.

"W-When did you get that? And why do you have it with you?!"

"Recently. I thought it would be a useful tool to teach a certain brat a lesson, but who knew the opportunity would present itself so soon." He presses down the button and the bullet starts to vibrate with a low hum.

He starts dragging it from your neck, the cool object feeling nice on your heated skin. Then, he goes to your inner thighs, tracing it ever so close to your needy pussy, but never touching it like you wanted.

"Will you stop playing around alre--Ah!"

Your words are once again interrupted, this time by your own gasp of surprise and the way your whole body shivered when the vibrator is suddenly on your clit. However, as quickly as it came, the stimulation is taken away a second later.

The anticipation and the desire to be touched properly are getting on your nerves, so you grab the hand holding the wretched toy to push it to where it should be, but the man simply turns it off.

"You're not getting what you want so easily. You either do as I say and be as loud as I want or you go back to teaching your next class unsatisfied. Surely even an idiot like you know what choice to make here?"

The look on his eyes tells you he's not bluffing. You've been a fool to doubt him once before and paid the price. Between letting the quality of your teaching drop because of sexual frustration and having your pride get hurt by obeying Veritas' words like some obedient dog, of course you'll choose the latter.

"...Fine."

"Good, it seems like you do have a working brain after all."

The insufferable man smirks, satisfied with your decision. He turns the toy back on and rubs languid circles around your clit, your essence helping the movements feel smoother. You grasp onto your shirt and his arm, doing your best to not muffle your shy sounds and lose this feeling.

"Better, but still not good enough."

"Ngh just... Just shut up, ah..."

Since you've been edged and teased for so long, it doesn't take long for your gasps and whines to become louder. You get closer to the edge, but there's still something missing.

"M-More... Need more..."

Dr Ratio doesn't miss your hole clenching pathetically over the tip of his fingers, your body showing what you truly desire. The asshole chuckles, reveling in the sight of you so pliable and obedient in his arms like that. If you didn't constantly get on his nerves, he'd consider you almost cute.

It's almost embarrassing how your cunt basically engulfs his two fingers with ease, your head thrown back to rest on his shoulder as you moan with abandon. You don't even care about your surroundings anymore, the intoxicating sensation of his long fingers pumping in and out of your drooling hole paired with the small vibrator rubbing on your clit making your brain melt.

You singing so beautifully right into Veritas' ear and the hypnotizing sight of your pussy leaking on his knuckles are both things he wants to engrave in his memories, to be able to recall them time and time again until the next time he has to discipline you.

"Please, please I want cum, please let me cum!"

Your sweet pleas go straight to his twitching dick and he hides his blushing cheeks on the crook of your neck, his voice coming out as a groan.

"Very well, you earned it. Come for me now."

Like an automatic response to his permission, your body convulses in his hold, tears running down the sides of your face and mouth hanged open with a hoarse chant of his name.

Veritas turns off the toy and slowly retreats his fingers, your legs still shaking a bit.

"See? That wasn't very hard, was it? If you had behaved yourself from the start, you would have had this much earlier."

"Oh fuck off... You made me cum using a vibrator, that's nothing to be cocky of. I do that all the time."

"And you call my name as well when you're alone?"

You blame your lack of a comeback at your foggy brain, choosing to whack his stupid face with the back of your hand.

Suddenly, you both hear a melody coming from below you. It's your phone, which had fallen out of your pants' pocket, the screen showing the alarm you set up: 10 minutes until your next class, which is on the opposite side of where you are.

"Oh shit, I'm going to be late- woah!"

If it weren't for Veritas holding you by the waist, you'd surely fall down, betrayed by your own weak legs. You've never climaxed so hard like you just did, but you'll never admit that to him, his ego is already too big without that knowledge.

After making sure you're stable enough to stand on your own, the scholar lets go of your waist and watches you quickly dress up and fix your appearance.

His eyes rest on your neck, wondering how would you react if he to left a mark there, in a place for everyone to see... But he knows he shouldn't indulge in such fantasies, that would cross the boundaries of your... dynamic and he'd hate to cause you this kind of distress.

Dr Ratio is brought back from his thoughts when you go to the door of the classroom and point an accusatory finger at him.

"This is the last time we're doing this, you hear me?!"

You leave before he could respond, but he just chuckles. You always say that after you two get frisky and it has never held any meaning, considering that it's never ended up being the last time for real. He secretly hopes it continues that way.

Now, he needs to deal with his own 'little' problem before he can leave and act as if nothing scandalous happened in this empty classroom...

thanks for reading <3 likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated <3

heart divider made by @/cafekitsune

red dr ratio banner (smut) made by @/the-writer-arrived aka yours truly ;)

[swanimagines]

MCU: Imagine getting kidnapped by Thanos, and your boyfriend Peter Parker rescuing you.

requested by anon

Note: nowadays all requests are done straight to asks, this is my old template of posting and I no longer have their asks!

You had been kept in that little glass box for maybe a week now. You weren’t sure, days had blurred together by now. The first two days, you were screaming for them to let you out, threatening them with Tony, Stephen, Steve and Carol, foolishly hoping their names would scare Thanos into letting you go.

You knew Avengers probably didn't know you had been kidnapped though — you had left for a vacation just before Thanos's henchmen hunted you down, drugged you and next you found yourself in that glass cage. You had quit struggling, trying to escape long ago, you learned the hard way how it was foolish. You should’ve saved your strength, but instead you decided to wrestle against the impossible force. Your fists were bruised, your voice almost gone from screaming for help. The walls were indestructible, and you were no superhero like your boyfriend was. You were just an ordinary student who Peter Parker happened to date.

Thanos never visited you. Why would he? You were a bait, you weren’t worth visiting, or taunting. He knew you wouldn’t be able to tell him anything valuable, so instead his henchmen dropped by once in a while to drop you food and water. They never stayed for any longer than that, never even shot you a smirk. Not that you wanted them to, but it really did emphasise how little they thought of you. You weren’t a person, you were an object of convenience.

You knew that once Peter found out you’re missing, he would stop at nothing to rescue you. And other Avengers would join him in searching you out, of course they would. But you weren’t sure if they’d succeed, or if you even wanted to be found. It was a trap, you knew they knew, but… you couldn’t help but be afraid of them underestimating the trap. What if one of them died rescuing you?

The world needed them. But the world didn’t need you, not in that scale or that way. You’d never be out there stopping the apocalypse. You’d never save even one civilian. Compared to them, you were nothing, even when Peter would argue back. You knew your life was precious and you deserved to live and be saved, it wasn’t that you thought little of yourself like that. But you weren’t a superhero and the world was more unstable than ever. Saving you, knowingly taking the bait, would be a huge risk. Thanos surely knew they’d know, and would attempt to gather everything he could for a battle to overtake them, as they’d basically be served to him.

So, you were conflicted about anyone saving you. You didn’t want to die there, and would do anything to see Peter again, but you knew that saving you would potentially kill him. And that would be something you’d never forgive yourself.

You dreamed of it often. The door of your cell busting open, Peter wrapping his arms around you and telling you everything would be all right. And then waking up, half-expecting to wake up in his arms. Hear him say how worried he was about you, how glad he is to have gotten you back.

You looked at the bruises scattered around your knuckles, gently running your fingers across them. Peter had always told you to trust him and the Avengers, that they’d set the world right and stop Thanos. And you wanted to believe him, still did. But you still felt like you were slowing them down by getting yourself kidnapped. You knew it wasn’t your fault, but you still kind of blamed yourself for it.

Then, a flicker of light made you jolt. Or rather a spark, combined with a crackling noise. You stood up, pressing your hands against the glass. 

More sparks.

And you recognised them, they were coming from that ring Dr. Strange owned, you had briefly seen it get used.

You held your breath without even really noticing it, looking at the sparks as they grew more and more frequent, and suddenly a portal appeared.

You could see Ned on the other side, and once your eyes met, he turned to the side and said something — and then Peter appeared, quickly stepping through the portal.

His mouth moved as he looked at you, but you couldn’t hear him and pointed to your ear while shaking your head. Peter looked back at Ned, who reluctantly stepped into the room as well, and you glanced at the door nervously. Thanos could step in at any minute, or one of his henchmen, and then both of them would be dead.

Ned put his arms up and started circling his hand, Peter impatiently watching at him and you. Then, a portal started forming, somehow making a pitch black hole into the glass. Peter gestured you to hurry through, and you jumped before second-guessing it.

Stone floor, someone pulling you up. 

“Oh my god,” a voice said, making your ears ring after so long of not hearing anything aside from your own voice. But you recognised it — MJ. You let her help you up, stared at her for a moment before lunging for a hug, and she hugged you right back.

Crackling again, and you turned your head to see Peter and Ned standing there, and you couldn’t help but burst into tears as you lunged for Peter, almost toppling him over.

“How did you find me?” you muttered against his shirt, but the next moment you pulled back and shook your head. “Or doesn’t matter, I just… I was sure Thanos would… I mean, I didn’t know if you could save me.”

Peter chuckled. “I promised you, didn’t I? I promised to make the world right, and it wouldn’t be right without you.”

You looked at him, cupping his face into your hands. You brushed your thumbs against his cheeks and took in a shaky breath. “I was sure I would die there. I thought that saving me would put you all in danger, that the risk would–”

Peter shook his head, interrupting you. “No way, everyone knew you needed to be saved, you’re one of us, even if you’re not a superhero. We don’t leave anyone behind, especially not you.”

Ned and MJ had quietly left the room, giving you and Peter some space to talk. You swallowed. “I should have been smarter when… I should have known–”

“Don’t,” Peter interrupted you again. “You wouldn’t have been able to prevent it, Thanos had a plan and he knew exactly how to get you without anyone noticing a thing.”

You nodded, knowing he was right. Even if you had stayed at home all day, you would have likely woken up in that cell. You closed your eyes for a moment, and Peter sighed, tugging at your hand. “C’mon. You should get some sleep, let’s go to my place..”

You nodded, letting him lead you out. And when you exited that warehouse and you saw the sun, you finally realised you were going home again.

Requests are open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[okiroash]

i already blabbered about it before but i really love your take and direction with red because your direction with him really opens up a lot of perspective into his early life pre and post mt silver and just how much he was treated as rags to glory from his surroundings and how a title that is usually revered as a goal ended up suffocating him and how much it created a dampen on his livelihood that his last act towards the ones who love him for who he is is to leave them because he truly believed that his newfound reputation is already a nuisance to his mother and how he probably ruined the only friendship he had with blue when he saw just how he was rejected and pushed aside when red triumphed over him at their champion battle. just seeing the whole world around you change as you are lifted higher and higher that people treat you as more-than god to the point where all that remains at the top is you. everyone from up is just a part of the groveling masses who look up to you, with the only people who still treat you as human getting suffocated and trampled in the bounds of your popularity by your worshippers. and it hurts seeing them that way. to the point where you think that this sort of heaping mess is not needed in their life, and that mess is only there because of you. you are the reason their lives are more difficult. it's hard to look at them in the eye when they tell you they still love you. it's hard to look at yourself and say that you still deserve to be loved.

GRAAAHHHHHHH THERE RIGHT THERE.. YOU WORDED IT EXACTLY PERFECT,,, I'm really really happy to hear that,, ;; sometimes I feel embarrassed having rambled about my interpretation of red here.. so I'm joyful to receive these kind of asks... truly the title of champion had only brought suffering.. akin to a curse, having no one to blame but himself... "rags to glory" that's exactly the way to describe it!!! back then he wasn't regarded so highly and even looked down upon.. while not great- it was more preferable to red as it didn't give such a huge gap between him and everyone compared to being seen above people, it's just as dehumanizing, you wouldn't even be able to climb down from that popularity easily.. the drastic changes from mean looks to bundles of adoration.. to think the latter would be so much scarier

ohh those words near the end of the ramblings.. gosh,, I really love thinking about post-mt silver red having trouble with self-love and guilt.... that he feels like he's not punished enough for what he did, for abandoning them (but he's going through so much already, there's no need to) the constant shame looming over- of being unable to just live a life "normally"- of simply interacting with strangers had even become too scary (which in turn, makes it hard to go to a public area), of having forgotten on how to do some things because he hasn't done it in a long time.. of frequently feeling.. lost.. (edit: felt like this was vague, I don't think red cares whether or not he can fit in, it feels guilty only for this case because it made him feel like living in mt silver was nicer because of the constant of new struggles below, he couldn't imagine telling that to them... they're happy he's here and it's quite guilty when he's not) and seeing his friends help him through it- that too made him feel like a burden, he doesn't want to trouble them more!! accepting help and relying on other people is still difficult but he's working on it :') !!! healing era... this part of red's life is a tough rocky road... but he will preserve..

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 5 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Hellboy Propaganda

He is literally the beast of the apocalypse. He was forcibly assigned catholic at birth, he deserves this. Now i know the rules said no demons, and that is fair. But here is my propaganda: he is a half-demon AND he absolutely does not want to end the world. He just wants to hang out and beat up monsters and work his job. But catholic guilt and apocalypse stuff always gets in the way. The comic books contain a ridiculous amount of religious imagery, the author was raised catholic, and passages from the bible are occasionally quoted. Hellboy is also portrayed as a messianic figure in conjunction with being an apocalyptic one. He uh, kind of becomes the savior of the new world and its like a whole thing. Catholic imagery appears frequently. Statues of the virgin mary, churches, etc. he also wears a literal cross on his belt, what can i say.

Okay here’s my rant. Hi, hello, propaganda. The last ten issues of the comic literally feature Hellboy going to hell and killing satan. He kills satan, fucks around in hell for a bit, and then blows everything up and its godamn tragic. Forcibly assigned catholic at birth. A bro did not ask for this it just happened. His mom was a witch but tried to become catholic after she died. Kind of a banger move. It didn’t work out for her but she gets points for trying. He tried real hard to save the world and it kind of worked but he did still die and go to hell. But not because he did anything bad, it was just kind of unavoidable. Again, he did blow the place the fuck up when he was done so. Respect.

Lapsed Catholic who is literally a half demon and also the rightful King of England that’s right he’s descended from King Arthur on his mother’s side.

Matt

Matt's faith in the show is really important and well explored; one of the first scenes of the show is Matt going to confession (or, well, talking to his priest since he's not really confessing at that point). Matt struggles a lot with what he's supposed to do; everyone's telling him to kill the villain and he kinda wants to, but he literally says: "I know my soul is damned if I take his life". He struggles with his faith and goes with his doubts to his priest, and it's beautiful—also when he finally gets a costume for his vigilanteing he chooses to dress as the devil, lol. (His priest tells him that nothing makes people run to Church faster than the feeling of having the devil on their heels.)

a lot of the show is about how he justifies his vigilante actions with his faith, and whether he's doing the right thing in trying to help people or just using it as an outlet for his anger. the literal first scene of the show has him in a confession booth talking to his priest (who is a really interesting character too). this is not the scene I was talking about but it's such an excellent scene with matt talking to his priest: https://youtu.be/XHZ3NbEIDdw

canonically catholic but dresses like a demon to be quirky

honestly i dont wanna type too much but i feel that matt is a great example of someone who battles with his faith because he rarely loses his faith but rather fights with why he was made the way he was and put through what he was. He believes himself to have the devil inside him but believes that God put him there

ok in the comics barring the most current run matt has Mostly been a non-practicing Catholic that very rarely actually does any catholic Activities but ends up falling back into the Mindset and very occasionally dramatically taking confession (ex. in that one issue where he takes confession, basically tells the father that he is uniquely terrible and is thinking about violently murdering someone and when the father says "you can be forgiven" hes like "AUGFH-- NO!!!!!!!!!!" and runs out) when he's gone through some shit. and i love that its so relatable

This guy so catholic he spends an ungodly amount of time just chilling in the church. And goes there whenever there is a moral conundrum about killing people being Bad even though it would solve a lot of problems and stop said people from killing other people. This happens every other episode. Matt is the Catholic Guilt Guy. There's actually a lot of catholic stuff in the show as a whole. Just a compilation would be like three whole episodes long.

Hes great hes catholic enough to not outrught murder people but not catholic enough to not fuck before marriage hes a bisexual disaster at all times hes besties with a priest might i add hes great hes my special little guy

his catholicism is a huge piece of his characterisation he was raised by nuns in a catholic orphanage, the first scene we ever see him (as an adult and not a flashback) is him going to confession, he is good friend with his priest and has regular debates with him, etc also in s3 he has a huge crisis of faith after he lost A Lot where he stops believing for a while and it's linked to his identity crisis where he actually wants to kill another person (a hard line he previously chose never to cross) and wants to be only daredevil and not matt murdock, when he is both and needs both to exist also when he was a kid his grandmother used to say "watch out for the murdock boys, they've got the devil in them" and it created a surprising lot of his issues

So he's both catholic in the comics and the show but he's More Catholic in the show. Like, raised in a catholic orphanage by nuns (ONE OF WHICH IS HIS *MOTHER*), second scene in the show has him in a confession box kind. Matt Murdock goes out and gets the shit beaten out of him nightly and also beats the shit out of other people and purposefully leaned into devil iconography as his theme. When his nurse friend says, he takes a lot of punishment without one complaint he says "That part's the Catholicism." It is a Core Aspect of his character (at least in the show). He makes me insane. Also the same chemicals that blinded him created the teenage mutant ninja turtles and everyone should know that.

They went to confession to a priest who they had saved as their costumed counterpart and the guy recognized them by the voice, proving that it's possible and everyone else is just dumb

he takes "i wanna fight god" to new and incredibly violent levels, while also being a sweetheart and a goofball

Actually strictly WILL NOT kill criminals. Goes wayyy out of his way to avoid it. Fights with the Punisher about it. Goes to confession booth after nightly vigilante excursions. Feels so much guilt. "How have you been holding up?" "Like a good Caltholic boy" "that bad huh" - actual conversation with his priest

So Daredevil struggles with his mission as a crime fighter because killing criminals goes against his faith. He makes it a point to not kill criminals, believing that even bad people deserve a second chance. This philosophy puts him at odds against The Punisher, who is a relentless killer. As a Catholic myself, while I love the concept of a morally conflicted superhero, I think the worldbuilding around Daredevil is lacking. If he struggles with violence and killing, why doesn't he pray to warrior saints like Saint Michael, Saint Ignatius of Loyola (a former knight), or Saint Joan of Arc? Why isn't there a community of other Catholics he can turn to for guidance, considering New York City has a sizeable population of Catholics? And why are the churches he goes to always empty? Doesn't he know that the Catholic Church supports the just war theory? I think that would have made his burden more bearable.

He goes to church and confesses to punching people and says "imma do it again can i apologize in advance" and the father dude says "no you're meant to stop now" and Matt says "no" and they do this everyday. I'm not remembering it properly but this is a canon interaction i swear

HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM AND WILL INFOR DUMP ok so. he is a vigalantty and he got named daredevil and he is an orphan and after the age of 12 was raised in an orphanage at a Catholic church and his therapist is his priest via confession abd. also his mother is a nun he has a whole mental breakdown over god and called Job a pussy because he liked god until he got better and liked god again he said "I'm dearedrvil and not even god can stop that now" and he's so cool

matt is a freakish little babygirl who was raised by nuns and definitely has religious trauma. i hate him so much (affectionately)

he’s literally fucking insane about it i don’t know what to say here. he thinks he’s chosen by god to go on some sort of holy quest to save hell’s kitchen. joan of arc ass.

i already know hes in by default j just wanted to give him a personal shout out i love this angsty catholic dweeb

how practicing he is depends on the run, but in my favorite he is quite literally confessing to a member of the last extant order millitant who happens to be a priest at a church in hells kitchen.

i love him for having the funniest version of a trope i usually hate (person gets into confession booth and asks forgiveness not for what they've done, but for what they're about to do). usually this trope just looks silly to me bc like. the priest would just say "i can't do that" and you would have to either awkwardly explain yourself or just Leave. it's funny when matt does it because fr. lantom is probably like "what are you gonna do???" and matt's like "lol. lmao. 😊 hehehe." anyway we love this angry catholic man who dresses up like the devil to beat people up in hell's kitchen

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I'm sure Harrow is lovely and I respect the space lesbians but listen to me. Listen.

Matt Murdock is the Catholic character of all time, and if you make him lose, I am blowing up this website and everyone in it.

He is Catholic. His mother is a nun. He grew up in a catholic orphanage. Half the episodes in the show include him going to confession. When he needs therapy, he talks to his priest. He dresses up as a devil partly because of the Catholicism.

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One time he got godly powers on loan from Heimdall (see below), and he did a lot of good with it, and then the second it was over he just... well. Also see below!

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This man's every coping mechanism is Catholicism.

Please vote for Matt in the @catholic-character-tournament because he's the best and most realistic representation of what it means to be Catholic. Someone who's been punched and bet and crushed by life but still gets up every day to try. No, he's not a nun like his competition but he's not less devoted because of that. Not everyone is called to service. In the day he works at a defense lawyer to help people. Not for the money but to help people not get screwed over by the law. And at night, he dons a mask and beats up assholes when the law fails them. Is he perfect? No, that's the point. Matt is a broken man who is just trying his best to do well and live like Jesus.

He fully embodies the Catholic doctrine of faith and good works. He has faith in what he's doing even if others challenge him. He believes in forgiveness and repenting even when going up against "the devil."

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"The people you murder deserve another chance." ... "No, Frank. To try again, Frank. To try. And if you don't get that, there's something broken in you you can't fix, and you really are a nutjob." "You think God made you a one-man firing squad. But you're wrong. There is goodness in people, even in you. And you're gonna have to kill me, 'cause I'm never gonna stop coming for you, until I take you down."

Daredevil Season 2 Episode 3

He (tries) to love his enemy. He believes in Elektra and Frank and maybe Dex and their ability to change. To be good. And when he can't, Matt refuses to compromise on his morals. While not quite "turning his cheek" he never scoops to their level. Because they don't get to destroy who he is.

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Daredevil Season 3 Episode 13

All he does is for the love he has to his neighbors, his community. He loves New York. Not for self-fulfilling needs or for the money or for the fame. He does it because he believes in justice. Because the law was created by humans and is inherently sinful.

"But his competition met God and was disappointed and blah blah"

Daredevil is more grounded (at least the show, maybe less the comics). So now, Matt doesn't met God. But he sure gets mad at him. All of season 3 he angry at God for all the trauma he expired.

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"You see, that was me, Sister. I suffered willingly. I gave my, uh... sweat and blood and skin without complaint. Because I too believed I was God's soldier. ( chuckles ) Well, not anymore. I am what I do in the dark now. I bleed only for myself. ( scoffs )" ... "You might hate God right now, but the feeling is not mutual." "No, I don't hate him. I've just seen his true face, is all."

Season 3 episode 1

As a Catholic I don't really want to fight God in a parking lot. Well I do but not in the same way that I've understood (primarily Jewish people but probably other Abrahamic religions) want to fight God in a Denny's parking lot. I want to yell and scream and cry at God and for the feeling to not be mutual. For Him to never stop loving me. As long as I have faith, He will reach out his hand.

[artsy0wl]

Every Offense, Sir, but I Never Liked You Either. Now Especially. Chapter 1

Continuing on from the Champion Night Terror fic of mine, this planned six chapter fic follows Raihan and Leon after that fic.

Summary: After a lovely vacation with Leon, Raihan decides to pay a certain someone a visit. WITHOUT Leon. The man before him, smug yet disappointed, tries to tear Raihan down. Why? To ’prove’ that Raihan is worthless and because he believes Raihan does not deserve Leon. Rather, Leon is owned by the man before Raihan.

When Leon finds out, he’s frightened by the fact Rose would try hurting Raihan. Afraid that his words will drive Raihan away. And when Leon gathers the courage to face Rose, how will things end?

Link for AO3 page at the end

Purple hair danced as fingers twirled through it as soft breathes slowly raised. Closed eyes hide beneath messy bangs as Leon’s frame sprawled over the bed. His face burrowed into Raihan’s shirt as an arm laid over him. Outside of the window, Murkrow were flying in the sky, some coming from the direction of Valor Lakefront.

The vacation was just what they needed. Sinnoh was a lovely region. Better than Raihan initially thought. The lakefronts were gorgeous, scenic and full of like. And Raihan was certain they saw one of the legendary Lake Guardians. Azelf, if he recalled correctly.

The battles at the hotel were a fun break from Gym battles. They even challenge a few gym leaders unofficially for fun. It also showed how the Sinnoh’s leaders differed from Galar’s. Everyone seemed to have fun, even if they were beaten, and the smile on Leon’s face was worth it.

Leon introduced Raihan to Cynthia. Who, despite appearing regal and much more intimidating than Leon, was actually really nice and down to earth. She didn’t have a smug ego, despite her title as champion, and she seemed to enjoy spending time with them. And when they visited the ruins in Celetic Town, Cynthia kind of reminded Raihan of Sonia with how well versed and intrigued she was with Sinnoh’s legends. She even offered to show them the Spear Pillars, where Palkia and Diaga frequented. And though they would not get to see the famed legends of time and space, it was an engrossing visit.

All in all, it was an eventful vacation. Seeing Leon smile after the trauma he had gone through and revealed was all that Raihan could ask for. Raihan was a bit sad that it was coming to a close in the morning. Maybe, he could convince Leon to coming back for another vacation in the near future.

Yet, despite the relaxed peace and finally getting a much needed break for the both of them, Raihan couldn’t sleep. As he continued to lightly run his hand through Leon’s hair, blue eyes were gazing at the ceiling. His mind was restless and wandered back to what occurred before they left. The night terrors and the trauma Leon had been holding onto.

Leon was starting to get help. He got to a consultation before they left, which confirmed that Leon has depression and most likely has PTSD because of the Eternatus battle and how things went down with Rose. Though they wanted to do a few more tests to be certain.

Raihan was glad the road to recovery started, completely understanding, and mentally prepared for, the bumps they would hit along the way. Smooth progress wasn’t going to be a guarantee and he knew that. However, Raihan felt as though he wasn’t doing enough. That he needed to do something more.

Rose needed to face justice. For more than just reigniting the Darkest Day. Or at the very least, closure. Questions needed to be answered and Leon needed to know if Rose regretted any of it.

Of course, Raihan wasn’t going to put Leon through anything this soon. He wasn’t ready. Raihan didn’t even want Leon to visit Rose in jail. However, Rose wasn’t off the hook either.

A squeak escaped Leon as he shuffled slightly. His breathing picked up as amber eyes slowly creaked open. Rubbing his eyes, Leon pushed himself up a little. Yawning, he looked at Raihan, tired, but concerned.

“What are you doing up?” Leon asked.

“I’m not tired.” Raihan sighed, brushing a few strands of bangs aside.

Leon tried to roll off of Raihan. “Sorry.”

An arm wrapped around Leon’s waist, keeping him where he was. “Don’t be. You need sleep and I’m comfortable.”

Leon nodded, shuffling slightly. He wrapped his arms around Raihan. Burying his face in Raihan’s shoulder, Leon fell asleep.

“Rest easy, Leon.”

~

Raihan was the first one up. Having already done most of the needed packing, outside of needing to pack the pajamas Leon was currently wearing, he was brewing coffee for the two of them. He had managed to fall asleep for about an hour or two, but got up because he was feeling restless.

Their flight wasn’t for a few hours, so he wasn’t in a rush. Checking his phone, he had a notification. It had a date and time on it that needed filling. He sent a response, hearing movement from the other room.

Leon, now dressed, emerged from the bedroom. He packed his pajamas in his suitcase before joining Raihan at the table. Yawning, he smiled at Raihan.

“Sleep well?” Raihan inquired.

Leon nodded. “Mhm. Did you get any?”

“For a couple hours, yeah.”

“Good.” Leon took a sip of coffee. “I was worried.”

Smiling, Raihan held his hand. “Don’t worry too much. I can’t have you going grey this young.”

Leon chuckled. “But I’d look so cute grey. Like a little old man.”

Raihan snorted. “If you’re little, I must be tiny.”

They spend the next hour getting breakfast and heading to the airport. Their flight was one of the first and they got back to Galar at a reasonable time.

It only took a few hours to get to Galar, and though they loved being in Sinnoh, being home felt nice. For the rest of the day unpacking and relaxing. With no obligations, there was nothing to stress over. No need to rush.

Two Days Later

“I shouldn’t be gone long.” Raihan stated. “You sure you’ll be okay?”

“Of course.” Leon confirmed. “Ma’s going to be stopping by and Sonia wanted to do a routine check up on Charizard. They’ll keep me busy while you’re gone.”

“Good.” Raihan kissed Leon’s forehead. “Don’t do anything too crazy.”

~

Wyndon Penitentiary. Raihan didn’t want to be here, but he had to. For one reason and one reason only.

Going through the proper clearances, he was brought to a room where visitations were held. He took a seat as one of the guards went to get who he was visiting. Raihan was a but anxious about this visit.

He didn’t tell Leon he was here or who he was visiting. Just that he was looking to meet with someone. Lying to Leon like that hurt. But, at the same time, Raihan was doing this on behalf of Leon in an attempt to help him without stunting his progress this soon. Raihan would tell Leon about this, when he was in a good mindset. That much, Raihan was sure of.

“Of all the people to visit me, you are at the bottom of my list.” Rose stated, as he was ushered to the table by two guards and sat down. “Tell me, where’s Leon? I do miss him.”

[motherfuckermorgan]

battle for bikini bottom thoughts

didn't get to make a proper games post on this yet but as a fan of the show i figured i'd have a good bit to talk about, especially since this game has essentially earned cult classic status. kind of wild for a licensed game to have such a high honor, but i think it's deserved. let's talk spongebob.

this game pays a LOT of tribute to early spongebob. while i did play the remake, the original was made in 2003 while the show was still at its "Peak" (not sure if it was actual peak viewership or it was just the episodes we liked more as a kid, not gonna look up spongebob ratings like a GEEK) and very little changes were made to the script, if any at all. i know no new lines were recorded for this game, which means they're all the same, except there might be an originally unused line in there or two. i'm not too sure. the writing is on point for this exact era of spongebob. they really got the feel of this world down. i like that the stakes never feel too high, there's a bunch of evil robots around but they're mostly an inconvenience to everyone. i think the characterization is pretty on point too, can't really name a moment i felt a character was off from a writing standpoint. it is important to emphasize the Writing Standpoint part of that statement.

the voice acting is mostly on par with the show, except there's a few voices they couldn't get for the game. whether that be for time constraints or other reasons, im not sure. the substitute voices are... not good. im willing to believe this is a casting issue more than anything. mr krabs does NOT sound like himself at all. the voice actor they got isn't bad, he just... doesn't really get the vibe. there's never a point where i'm not distracted by his new voice. same goes for mermaid man, really. mermaid man doesn't feel As integral as mr krabs, but it's still weird whenever he makes a reference to a mermaid man line because he just does NOT get close enough to the cadence. thankfully, these are really the only two voices that are like this, as far as i could tell. everyone else seems to be voiced by their original actors, and they sound on point. it's funny to me that it seems like mrs puff gets pushed as a character more here, likely as a supplement from making you deal with mr krabs new voice too much LOL

honestly, already just with these factors in mind, battle for bikini bottom is a cut above the rest. i will give props to the remake for how gorgeous they make the game look. admittedly spongebob games from the 2000s look weirdly muddy and grimy to me. they're nostalgic still, but i adore the more cartoony style of the remake. it feels like they really capture the essence of how the show would look in 3d. its crazy to me that they managed to make the cosmic shake look even prettier when this game is already a looker. admittedly the presentation can be a little cheap, with characters repeating animations frequently and kind of just standing in place a lot, but given it's a pretty straight remake of a gamecube game that makes sense to me. i doubt THQ nordic was given a big budget for their licensed spongebob remake

now, when talking about the actual game, it's important to note that there isn't a Crazy amount to say about how it plays. it's a pretty standard 3d platformer moveset. spongebob is who you'll usually play as, but you're also given patrick and sandy in certain segments. patrick is definitely my least favorite of the three, he's spongebob without the cool bubble powers but he can pick up stuff. generally picking up and throwing things in this game feels... off. whenever the game wants you to put a thing in a specific place, you'll be given a target reticle and the things will be launched at that exact spot. it's feels a bit jank and in some scenarios it can be straight up obnoxious to have a thing launch at smth you didn't want it to hit. i remember a specific spot in jellyfish fields where i needed to press a specific button with a watermelon and patrick just kept launching the watermelon at enemies, because the machine that respawns enemies is behind a door that you need the switch for, and the watermelon is too far away for you to reasonably get to the button before they respawn.

sandy is fun in the same way that any Really Good Movement character feels in a 3d platformer. she's given a lasso that allows her to glide for a bit, and while it's not infinite, you can generally get some pretty good distance from it. her platforming segments always felt really easy, but i don't find that a bad thing necessarily. was always a treat whenever the game let me play as her.

spongebob himself gets some fun use out of his bubble powers. i thought i wouldn't like the bowling ball much, given it moves you forward whenever you use it, but actually you move at a slow enough pace where it is RARE that this ever gets in the way of me using it. the missile is definitely a bit tricky to get used to, when i first used it i was assuming it would control similarly to like pilot controls, but it's a more traditional "Move up to go up and move down to go down". once i got adjusted to it i was able to get some good distance out of it.

there's also the sliding segments that the game gives you occasionally and they are Fun. but as the game goes on they get more and more brutal, but in a cool way. some of the slide segments in sand mountain have some straight up evil times tho. not too much to say, just turns you into a perpetual movement machine

the level design of the game is surprisingly solid! there are definitely some evil parts, as the mentioned one part of jellyfish fields i don't like. i also didn't really like goo lagoon as a whole, a bit too slow for my tastes. spongebob's dream also starts you with an insane kaizo blocks section when the rest of the level is literally just not like that. despite being a collect-a-thon, the levels are still fairly linear with a logical point a to point b, with a few exceptions. i think this works to the levels benefit usually, gives you a sort of mini-story for each level. helps give you a bit of direction, when some other collect-a-thons might struggle with making you feel lost. though this did still happen a couple times, i remember feeling pretty lost in rock bottom a few times even though the level's fairly linear.

i gotta shoutout the level theming also, btw. they didn't have a lot to choose from given they were really early into the show's life, but man, they went all out. a few of the levels i've mentioned already really stand out in cool ways. rock bottom has this neon motif to it that remembers me of the fuckin' under from pokemon colosseum. slimy and grimy city. really cool. spongebob's dream is a really creative and fun level, and it's really cool to see the game expand on this shared dream realm that the bikini bottom residents seem to have. the mermalair is this huge sprawling underground base and it's dope as fuck. the level themes being based on these random episodes that they couldn't have known at the time would become so iconic definitely works in its favor. it doesn't worry too much about being So Self Referential to the episodes these locales are from and makes them feel so much more organic as a result.

the bosses are... fine. they feel like footnotes in this game more than anything. they aren't particularly hard, or interesting. they're mostly robot versions of characters, aside from a few minibosses spread out through the levels. i didn't think much of any of these, though it was fun cheesing(?) the robo spongebob fight by spamming missiles while sticking to the ground.

wow. this is a lot of words about a funny sponge game. this game weirdly gave me a lot to talk about. i have my problems with it, i think i overall prefer the cosmic shake just because i prefer linear 3d platformers over collect-a-thons, but this game does in fact rule. i can see where the hype for it comes from. definitely recommended if you're in the mood for a good 3d platformers and also you happen to love the funny sponge show, which would surprise me if you weren't.

[bangtansmauyeondan]

First Page (PJM One-shot)

Based on the song Enchanted by Taylor Swift.

Pairing: Bar Owner Jimin x Food Critic Fem Reader

Genre: Fluff, Crack

Rating: G

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings: None

Summary: Coming home to Busan after establishing your name in the international gastronomic scene for your ‘Taste of Home’ web series, you’re set to visit and research on the old and the new hole-in-the-wall spots worth checking out. Hitting up a steakhouse that you used to frequent with your college friends, you discovered that it has been replaced by a swanky and cool new bar, Filter. The owner? Meh. No filter… and you were well wonderstruck.

Taglist: @minntushiast @bear-hugs-and-kisses @ygbubs @taestefully-in-luv @persphonesorchid

From: seokjin.kim@acai.kr

Date: May 25, 2022 at 12:24:55 PM

To: yn.yln@acai.kr

Subject: FW: Travel Feature - YN YLN

Hi Yn,

Is this something that interests you? Is there any specific content you want to do?

Let me know what you think. I'll email them back and work on arranging a meeting.

Kind Regards,

Kim Seokjin

CTO, Alpaca Creative Artists Inc.

111 Dokseodang-ro, Yongsan-gu, Seoul, South Korea

+82-2-798-0050

Begin forwarded message:

From: Jung Hoseok

Date: May 25, 2022 at 12:10:15 PM

To: Kim Seokjin

CC: Kim Namjoon

Subject: Travel Feature - YN YLN

Hi Mr. Kim,

I'm writing on behalf of our CEO, Kim Namjoon. My name is Hoseok, a senior creative director at Rkive Media. We're currently working on a Travel Feature, particularly a 6-episode web series that would showcase the best places to eat in Korea.

We will be honored to have Yn Yln on board. We are open to any suggestions and to address whatever she may need should she agree on this project. Let us know if you are interested.

Best,

Jung Hoseok

Senior Creative Director

RKive Media

42 Hangang-daero, Yongsan-gu, Seoul, South Korea

+82-2-708-0218

That’s how you found yourself back in Busan, driven by your cousin Yoongi, in his wine-coloured Hyundai Palisade. You’re on the way to pick up his girlfriend Dani, your bestfriend Brittany, and her boyfriend Taehyung. You’re given a week to visit as many places as you can in Busan and narrow them down to just six, proving them worthy to be on your new web series, ‘Taste of Home.’

“I can’t believe you agreed to this, Yn,” Yoongi glanced at you from the rear-view mirror, shotgun spot reserved for Dani.

“Me neither. But you know Jin… he was pretty convincing,” you sighed. “I told him I’m not an influencer, I’m a food critic.”

Yoongi chuckled, revealing his gummy smile. “Let me guess… he told you the world deserves to see your beauty.” Your exaggerated eyeroll made Yoongi laugh even harder. “I’m telling you, he’s a goner for you.”

“Whatever, Yoongs.”

About thirty minutes later, you arrived at your first stop. It was a barbecue bistro where you find yourselves surrounded by almost everybody in your neighborhood. People you haven’t seen in ages. People who never spoke to you before but all of a sudden now cling to you as if you’ve known them all your life. You’re grateful that Taehyung and Brittany seem to have noticed your inner battles, while Yoongi and Dani were busy “shielding” you from the people by mingling with them instead.

There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired lonely place

“Hey, you okay?”

“This place hasn't changed at all, Brit, no?” you looked around and observed the place. The oakwood bar and the aged barrels lining the walls are still there, the faux cowhide booth upholstery, and the giant electric grill smacked in the middle.

“No, you’re right,” she chuckled. “Plus the amount of drunk people would make you think you’re in some Irish pub instead of a supposedly-family-friendly barbecue place.”

“I don’t think I would consider this to be part of my web series. Jin would faint.”

Yoongi’s ear perked up when he heard you. “Do you wanna go somewhere else?”

“Hey, remember that place we used to frequent back in college? The steakhouse?”

“Except it’s no longer a steakhouse…” Dani quipped.

“What!?”

“Yeah, it’s a club now. Not just a club CLUB… it’s swanky and cool.” Yoongi added. “The kind where the rich kids hang out.”

“Owner’s pretty young though. My age.” Taehyung mumbled while fiddling with his phone. “Texting Jungkook right now. He manages the place.”

“Whoa, Jungkook as in my little Kookie?” you cooed.

“Wait til you see him now and THEN call him your little Kookie again,” Brittany’s amusement caused Taehyung to guffaw.

“True though,” he winked at you. “They said they’re not that busy tonight. Didn’t tell him you’re with us. Pretty sure he’ll be ecstatic to see you again.”

“Shall we?” Yoongi stood up and patted his pocket for his keys and wallet.

Walls of insincerity,

Shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

“Noona!” Jungkook’s eyes lit up when he saw you trudging behind his friends. He rounded the bar in an instant and the next thing you knew, you were enveloped in a tight hug of someone who’s clearly taller than you and buffer than your average guy.

“Oh my goodness, look at you!” Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. “Where did you hide my little Kookie?!” Jungkook giggled, flashing you his bunny smile and scrunched up nose. Yep, there’s your little Kookie.

“You’re acting like you’re not just two years my senior! I’m not little anymore!”

“Jungkook, this place is nice!” Yoongi looked around impressed. “It’s the first time I set foot in here,” he casually wrapped his arm around Dani and leaned onto the bar.

“Oh that reminds me…” Jungkook excitedly rubbed his palms. “The owner’s here. I’m sure he would love to meet you, guys. Hang on, let me go get him…” with big strides, Jungkook has disappeared behind the black curtain by the bar.

You were busy skimming through the menu card handed to you by one of the bartenders that you didn’t realize Jungkook was already back, standing beside you.

“Noona, this is Jimin… Park Jimin, owner of Filter. Hyung-nim, this is YN YLN, she’s a food critic.”

Jungkook gestured between you and his boss in acknowledgment– and you thought the world around you momentarily stopped. Jimin is tall, albeit not Jungkook’s height. His smile is radiant, it makes his eyes disappear into crescents. He’s got high cheekbones that perfectly accentuated the shape of his face. His nose, small like a button, and his lips full and plump. His silver hair is parted in the middle and one side slightly swept back, revealing his forehead. He’s donning a metallic bomber jacket against a black top, a pair of black jeans, and a pair of black leather brogue boots.

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"

Across the room your silhouette

Starts to make its way to me

The playful conversation starts

Counter all your quick remarks

Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you

All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

“Hey, Yn. Nice to meet you,” Jimin extended his hand for a handshake. Smile never fading, eyes still almost non-existent. You extended your hand timidly. “I’m pretty sure we have met before… have we?”

“I… I don’t think so. Maybe?”

“Huh… Right. You seem familiar though,” Jimin still has your hand in his.

“You have probably read my name in some blogs and–”

“I know who you are, Yn.” He shifted his weight on his other foot so that he’s leaning on the bar with his elbow facing you. He ran his fingers through his hair before looking back at you. He looked at you under hooded eyes, a smirk forming on his lips before he continued… “Are you here to criticize my food?”

“Is there something to criticize about?” you countered.

“Is it not worth your time?” Jimin’s smirk is gradually turning into a full teasing smile.

“Debatable,” you shrugged.

To your surprise, Jimin burst into his infectious laugh, throwing his head back and clapping his hands. “Please, make it worth your time!” He playfully pouted at you and you couldn’t help but laugh along.

“Hey, I really am just here to visit an old friend. I’ll–”

“Actually,” you were cut off by Yoongi who wrapped his arm around you. “Hi, I’m Yoongi, YN’s cousin. We’re here because YN is making a web series about the places you must visit or dine in when you’re in Busan.”

“Oh…” Jimin nodded, interest suddenly piqued.

“Are you free anytime this week for a feature and an interview?” He flashed his gummy smile. “She would be too shy to ask!”

“Yeah, I am! It’d be an honor,” his gentle eyes found yours again. “How’s tomorrow sound, Yn?”

You looked around your friends before your eyes landed back on Jimin. “Yeah… tomorrow would be perfect.”

“Great!” Jimin straightened up and reached out for another handshake. “Afternoon would be perfect since we will be closed. We will be able to talk more. 3 PM?”

“3 PM.” you nodded.

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up

2 AM, who do you love?

I wonder 'til I'm wide awake

And now I'm pacing back and forth

Wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say, "Hey,

It was enchanting to meet you,

All I know is I was enchanted to meet you."

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name

Until I see you again

These are the words I held back

As I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you

You arrived at Filter 5 minutes shy of the agreed time, but Jimin was already waiting for you, shifting from one foot to another by one of the tables. You almost did not recognize him, dressed in a gray sweatshirt, jeans, black beanie and a pair of leather slip-ons. He smiled widely the moment he spotted you entering the place.

“Hi, Yn. Thank you for coming. Can I help you with that?” he gestured at your small bag containing your tablet and dictaphone for the interview. It wasn’t that heavy, but you handed it to him anyway. It feels nice to be fussed over for once. “Can I get you anything? Drinks?”

“I’m fine, Jimin,” you smiled up at him as he pulled a chair for you to sit on. “What are we trying today?”

“Of course, our best seller. The shrimp cocktail. I’d also love for you to taste some of our cocktails.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk so I can give you a biased review?” you squinted at him.

Jimin threw his head back in laughter and waved his hands, “No no no… goodness, no.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll have them prepare you the virgin mix.”

“I’d like that, thank you.”

You breezed through your taste test and interview with Jimin having done it a million times already, You were in your element and Jimin couldn’t help but admire you even more. He remembered the first time he met you. It was a few years ago, at a convention. You were one of the speakers and he was just an aspiring restaurateur exposing himself and trying to network with the right people. He remembered being awestruck by your beauty when you stepped into the hotel ballroom where the event was being held. He thought you were a celebrity or an upcoming pop idol at first, until you were introduced to the stage to speak. He was even more impressed with you when you spoke. Your knowledge and experience in the food industry iwas so unmatched, you became the youngest person to be part of the voting members of the prestigious AA Gill Awards. He was introduced to you by the guys of SortedFood, but it was so brief, he’s not even sure if you caught his name. Hence, he’s no longer surprised that you don’t remember him when you met him last night. But you? You never left his mind. Meeting you last night felt like the universe was telling him something– make a move.

“Jimin… wow.” You sighed contented. “This spread is so nice. I don’t have anything bad to point out, you know?”

“Thank you… I tried,” he smiled shyly. “I got a lot of help from Ben and Barry in setting this up, you know?” Jimin tried to catch your gaze. “You know them… right?”

“Wait…” your eyes widened in delight. “Ben Ebbrell and Barry Taylor?”

“Yes!”

“Oh my gosh!” your hand flew to your chest. “That’s amazing. How are they? It’s been a while since I last saw them. I think it was during Mike’s wedding!”

“Oh you were there too?”

“Yeah!”

“Wow… we have crossed paths a lot of times already!” Jimin grinned. “Sorry, um… can I ask you something personal? It’s okay if you don’t want to answer. I’m just– I’m, ugh, no nevermind.” He hesitated. “I’m just wondering… I’m–”

“Ask away, Jimin,” you smiled encouragingly.

Jimin wiped his palms against his jeans, bracing himself before speaking. “I’d really love to take you out for dinner tonight, and I’m just wondering if I'm not gonna get in trouble with a boyfriend or a husband…”

Contrary to what you thought, Jimin was looking at you directly, and not one second did his confidence falter. You felt your face heat up, aware that a deep blush is now cloring up your cheeks.

“So…?”

“Yeah sure, Jimin. I’d love to go out to dinner with you tonight.”

This time, Jimin won’t let another opportunity slip away.

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

••••••

A/N- I just couldn’t get the song out of my head and Jimin’s most enchanting smile just fits the bill. 🥹

[padawanlost]

Hello there! I just wanted to ask about something that’s been confusing me real quick: did Anakin lord over others with his Chosen One status or not? Because I thought he was insecure, disliked all the expectations that came with it, and didn’t really believe in that old prophecy to begin with. But, in Jude Watson’s books he thinks he deserves all these things because of it and rubs that status in other faces? I just need some clarity please lol thank you so much and I adore your blog ❤️

No, not at all. If anything, one of Anakin’s biggest difficulties was to assert himself in front of others (specially people in power).

This is a man who is considered a hero of the galaxy, of the most powerful jedi ever, married, soon to be father, beloved and respect by his men and even complete strangers…yet…look at how easily he submits.

If Anakin had been anything like some ‘fans’ like to pretend he was, he wouldn’t be the character portrayed on screen. He’d more like characters like Tony Stark, someone who is completely confident in his abilities and is not ashamed to admit it. But that’s NOT the character we see on screen, or anywhere else for that matter.

The Jedi Council didn’t want me, either. Being the Chosen One didn’t count for anything. Master Yoda wouldn’t train me, or Windu. Every member of the Jedi Council had had something more pressing to do than help him work out what this terrible, galaxy-changing power of his meant, and how he should live in its shadow. He still wasn’t sure. Anakin recalled standing there in that grand, polished Jedi Council Chamber, surrounded by what felt like fear, and disdain, and bewilderment—who were those Masters to feel bewildered, that the only person there who cared if he lived or died was Master Qui-Gon Jinn. And they stopped him training the Chosen One. Qui-Gon hadn’t cared what the Jedi Council said. He’d trained him anyway, a Padawan in all but name. Why am I thinking of all this now? Haven’t I put it behind me? Haven’t I had enough bad memories since then to take their place? Haven’t I vindicated Master Qui-Gon? [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

Anakin enjoyed praise from Obi-Wan, but often became sullen when he was reprimanded. Obi-Wan assured him that he himself had been frequently reminded by Qui-Gon to be more mindful of the Force, but somehow even the slightest criticism managed to leave Anakin feeling stung. First they tell me to do my best, then they tell me I’ve gone too far! ANAKIN SKYWALKER IN THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

Despite Anakin’s desire to distance himself from the slave he had once been, he was unable, or unwilling, to shed the other aspects that had defined him on Tatooine. He still dreamed of glory, still craved adventure, and never lost his appetite for high-speed thrills and the desire to prove himself in competition. THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

Anakin was liked by the other students, but he had no close friends. He was not loved. Obi-Wan told himself that Anakin’s gifts naturally set him apart. But in his heart, he grieved for Anakin’s loneliness. JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE WAY OF THE APPRENTICE]

Just when Anakin thought he’d passed that elusive finishing line that said adult, experienced, seen it all, he realized he was still twenty, Jedi or not, and the wounded boy in him still rose to the surface—provoked into angry violence, scared of abandonment, and still in need of approval. KAREN TRAVISS [STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS NOVELIZATION]

[Obi-Wan] knew, glancing at his Padawan’s eager face, that Anakin meant well from the bottom of his heart. If Obi-Wan saw a shadow on that heart, he knew it would pain his Padawan to know it. In many ways, Anakin was still a boy. A wounded, loving, anxious boy with great gifts he did not fully understand. Yet he was also a young man, close to maturity, who could do great harm. To others, yes. To himself, most of all JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE SCHOOL OF FEAR]

“I just…” Anakin stopped. He took a ragged breath. “I thought you would be proud of me.” I am proud of you. Obi-Wan wanted to say the words. They were true. He was proud of so much in Anakin. But now was not the time to tell him that. Or was it? JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE SCHOOL OF FEAR]

Fixing broken machines was like a meditation. Fixing broken machines was an antidote to every pain, every loss, every fear, every defeat. Fixing broken machines kept him from going mad. CLONE WARS GAMBIT: STEALTH

You are very observant, Ferus, but you must accept that I know him better than you,” Obi-Wan said carefully. “Anakin can be arrogant. I know that. But he is also learning and growing. He is respectful of his great power. He does not abuse it. He is younger than you, but he has seen much injustice, many terrible things. I do not think it so wrong that he wants to change things. You must understand that it isn’t ambition that drives him. It is compassion. OBI-WAN KENOBI IN STAR WARS – JEDI QUEST: THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD BY JUDE WATSON

Taking them, she looked up at him and shook her head, even though it still ached. “It’s odd. You’re nothing like I expected.” “Why?” he said, perching on the edge of the nearby chair. “What did you expect?” “I don’t know,” she said, floundering. “I can’t say I’ve ever given the Jedi much thought. I mean, not as individuals. I never expected to meet one—let alone two. I don’t tend to go places where your skills are needed. But—well—you’re gentle.” That made him smile. “As opposed to what?” She swallowed the pain-tabs, washing them down with a mouthful of water. “Oh. You know. The HoloNet news—it portrays as you as this—this—heroic warrior. Larger than life. Charging into battle, lightsaber flashing. Scourge of the Separatists. That kind of thing.” She shrugged. [Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

“Ten years in this place, and still he was an object of interest. Of speculation. All their hopes and dreams hanging on him like decorations on a bantha skeleton at Boonta Eve. He hated it.” [Clone Wars: Wild space, Karen Miller]

[Anakin] did not like the fact that he had won. It seemed wrong that he had stepped so far out of line, and yet had been retained as a Padawan. He did not like the unease this victory, if victory it was, produced in him. Above all weaknesses, arrogance was the most costly. They keep me here because I have potential they’ve never seen before. They keep me in training because they’re curious to see what I can do. I feel like a rich man who never knows whether his friends are true-or whether they just want his money. This was a particularly galling thought, and certainly neither true nor fair. Why do they put up with me, then? Why do I keep testing them? [Greg Bear’s Rogue Planet]

The only piece of media where Anakin is more ‘openly’ arrogant is in The Clone Wars (2008) but even then, he doesn’t flaunt his alleged ‘status’ over everyone. His arrogance is reflected more through his disobedience, not open defiance and antagonist behavior towards his peers.

But hey, what do Hayden Christensen, George Lucas and most Star Wars writers know? lol

PS: thank you! <3

[imasimpforshanks]

hiii, how are you? may i ask angst alphabet for Ace? thank you ❤️

Angst Alphabet - Portgas D. Ace

a/n: hi hi!! here you go! OMG angst is still really hard LOL I don’t want to think about their rough life 😔😔😔😔😔 ANYWHOOOOO thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy<3

warnings: on the letter S there is mention of self harm

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Ace would definitely blame himself. He’s always thought he was a no-good demon child, son of a criminal that didn’t deserve to be alive (despite finding people that truly cared and loved him). You dying in an accident and him not being able to do anything about it would just reinforce what he already thinks of himself.

Regardless of your cause of death he is likely to attribute it to your association with himself, and because of that he will think it is entirely his fault, even if he wasn’t present at the time of your death.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

His lessons with Makino really helped him develop manners and just a general sense of acceptable behaviour. So, Ace would just be clear and up front, no mixed messages, no miscommunication. He would take you some place quiet and away from others, and then he would be as honest and vulnerable as possible – it’s the least you deserve. The break-up would be very civil, you would definitely end on good terms (doesn’t make it any less sad though).

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

Sometimes Ace can take his teasing a little too far. Usually you can handle it, but there are just some days where his words cut deeper than ever intended (even if they have no malice behind them). It’s not his fault you’re having a bad day, or not realizing you are having a bad day. It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes. As soon as you start to cry though, he apologizes and reassures you so much, to make sure you known he doesn’t mean it and he’s only playing around.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

It would start out with a lot of confusion, like “what t-that must be some kind of a sick joke. H-how… w-what… they wouldn’t just die like that.” After it really sinks in that you have in fact died, Ace will just get angry. I don’t see him as much of a crier (spoiler alert – we only see him truly allow himself to cry on two occasions 1) when luffy got crazy hurt as a child and 2) when ace was on deaths door), so I believe he would react with anger.

Regardless of your cause of death (natural causes, accident, died in battle etc.) Ace would be unbelievably angry with himself, the world and you. He would be angry at himself for being unable to save you, someone he cares about and loves deeply. He would be angry at the world and whatever higher being there may be for choosing now to be your time. There are so many horrible, horrible people in the world, yet you had to die? It makes no sense. Lastly, he would be angry at you. Not a genuine anger but more so a “how could you just leave me like this? We were meant to be together forever.”

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

I think Ace tends to try his sadness. He tries to put on a brave face, not wanting anyone to see him cry as he doesn’t want to be viewed as weak or be even more of a burden on others.

F-Fight (how often do you fight? What do you fight about? Do you fight often? Etc.)

Fights with Ace, although they don’t happen often, can quickly get out of hand. He’s stubborn and his inability to accept that he’s not always right can cause a minor disagreement to escalate into an all-out fight. On a few occasions you have argued about him never turning his back on an opponent.

Your fights tend to be followed by cooldown time. Things can get quite heated (no pun intended) so you need some alone time and space to breathe. After that though, you comeback together and apologize.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

For his entire life, Ace has lived with the guilt of simply existing. He doesn’t think himself worthy of being alive. Can you blame him? It’s all anyone ever told him growing up. Despite eventually finding people who loved him for him, those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness still remain and continue to plague his mind.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Ace is quiet. He doesn’t want to be around anyone or anything. He wants to be left completely alone so he can sort out his thoughts and feelings. He’d be quite devasted because he’s had so few people in his life love him on as deep a level as you did.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Ace would absolutely lose it if you were injured. He’d be concerned, upset, and angry all at once. First things first, he needs to know if you are going to be ok. Once that’s been established, he’ll be upset at himself for allowing this to happen. This will be replaced by the pure anger he feels at whoever, or whatever, caused this.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When he gets jealous he turns into such a man child. He’s pouting and moping around while mumbling to himself. He develops quite a petty attitude. If you were to ask him “want to go get something to eat?” he’d respond with “why don’t you just go and ask ____ for some food.” But, as soon as you begin commenting on how jealous he’s acting he’s going to deny it to the end of his days.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Ace literally hunted down Blackbeard so he could get revenge on him for killing Thatch. It’s not certain whether or not Ace had the intention of killing Blackbeard, however, he definitely had both the spirit and anger to go through with killing him. So, it is possible that Ace would kill for revenge. However, for the most part, he would prefer to just beat them senseless.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

Either Sabo or his mother’s death, would be considered Ace’s greatest loss. His mother died when he was a new-born, so he doesn’t particularly remember, or know, anything about her other than the fact that she was a kind wonderful woman. However, the loss of Sabo is something he remembers vividly. Losing Sabo had a major impact on Ace. It was an unfortunate wake up call as to how awful the world truly is.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

One night, after a particularly bad day filled with a horrible series of events, Ace was letting off some steam (quite literally I suppose). Messing with his devil fruit power, throwing some flames around. He hadn’t noticed your presence and so his flames nearly burnt you. He was horrified, and he only felt worse after he noticed the pure terror in your eyes.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?

Ace has nightmares frequently, they vary, but they all have the same underlying theme, that is, the people in his life don’t actually care about him and only view him the same way everyone else views the son of the pirate kind – a worthless devil with no right to life. He wakes up from his dreams in a sweat and finds himself in desperate need of fresh air (ya know to try and clear his mind). He ends up just sitting out on the deck of the Moby Dick looking up at the sky trying to tell himself it was all a dream. But his insecurity and self-doubt begin to resurface and soon he can’t discern imagination from reality. However, the moment someone else on the crew even speaks to Ace with something as simple as a “morning dude” he’s brought back down to earth and thinks to himself “no that’s right…. They love me… I wouldn’t be here right now if they didn’t.”

It’s a vicious cycle, but in the end, he manages to remember (even if it’s just for a little bit) that he is cherished.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

When you continuously tell him there’s no need to stay and fight every single opponent. It’s okay to turn and runaway – in fact it’s safer to do that. When you say that he feels as though you don’t understand him. He’s not some careless, impulsive child who’s just looking for a fight (okay maybe he is a little bit). So he doesn’t really get super angry, it’s more so that he is frustrated and a little upset that you don’t try to see it from his perspective.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

It’s the same as the worst mistake he’s ever made with you – nearly burning you with his devil fruit. It made you realize that Ace can actually be quite dangerous (although you know he would NEVER hurt you intentionally). It made Ace realize that he needs to be more careful, the look of pure terror in your eyes has stayed with him ever since that incident, serving as a reminder.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His tendency to not back down from a fight is simultaneously his most endearing and toxic trait. He constantly places himself in dangerous situations with minimal concern for his own safety.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Having his confession rejected by you was definitely a blow to his self-esteem, but he respected and accepted your feelings. Instead of moping around about it he decides to laugh it off, trying to make light of a slightly disappointing situation.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Ace does not have any scars, battle related or self-inflicted.

TW self-harm: I do think ace got worryingly close to self-harming, but Sabo and Luffy made him rethink it all.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

The one and only time Ace broke your trust was after Blackbeards betrayal. You made him promise to take you with him when he left to hunt down Blackbeard because you didn’t want him to go alone. He promised but he had no intention of keeping that promise.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

For a while Ace manages to get by by keeping himself preoccupied. But as soon as he lets up for even a minute, he realizes how much he misses you and is beyond tempted to just sail on back to wherever you are and tackle you to the ground plastering your face in lil kisses. When he’s not distracted, he really does miss you a lot. He hyper-fixates on what you could be doing at this very moment, whether or not you miss him too etc.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

When ace gets mad, he tends to get very loud. He raises his voice quite a lot and it becomes very, very frightening. He would never physically hurt you, but the anger and frustration in his voice is more than another to scare the shit out of you.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Constantly being reminded or associated with the Pirate King. Maybe it doesn’t make him feel weak, but it makes him feel horrible inside and stirs up a lot of feelings and remarks people would make when he was younger. Unfortunately, once word gets out there isn’t much Ace can do to stop this from happening, however, before this, Ace avoided this by not telling ANYONE. He only told Luffy and Sabo, with a very small handful of others knowing (i.e Garp).

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

He hates turning his back on a fight or turning his back on people that talk shit about those he cares about. This is seen during the Marineford arc. He doesn’t let Akainus words about Whitebeard slide. He doesn’t runaway. He has no tolerance for that shit.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

Ok this may be dark as hell but, Ace just wants to not feel like a burden to the world. He wants to be viewed as something different/separate from his father, but he can’t change history.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He doesn’t let you go. He’ll hold on to you until he is forcefully separated from your body. He just starts to spout a lot of nonsense – things don’t make sense at all, but he can’t help it right now. He can’t think properly when you’re about to leave him. He just wants you to stay.

[starlightrows]

In The Eye Of The Beholder

Chapter 1

Next →

Pairing: Commander Wolffe x reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: brief description and mildly graphic medical jargon about losing an eye and having a prosthetic implant placed

Summary: Shortly after the events of the Battle of Khorm, the Kaminoans don’t see the value in moving forward with treatment for Commander Wolffe... you, the GAR doctor on the Coruscant disagree

“I don’t remember asking for your goddamn opinion ambassador!” you shout up at the pale long necked Kaminoan, who’s been passively berating you in an attempt to get your patient taken off life support. Your communicator goes off loudly, and you feel no shame in looking at it instead of listening to the Kaminoan ambassadors retort.

“I’m sorry ambassador, but this discussion is over. The requisition for the cybernetic prosthesis has gone through and whether you like it or not, I am going to give that man a fighting chance. He didn’t lay down his life to be tossed out with the garbage. Now get out of my med bay,” your turn on your heel, and begin speaking into your comlink to arrange for the surgery to get underway immediately.

The procedure took nine grueling hours to fully clear out the wound, put in the prosthetic eye and reconstruct the damage to the soldier's facial structure. He stood a good chance of making a full recovery if the cybernetic innervations healed correctly. Now it was just a matter of letting him rest and wake up in his own time.

Most clone troopers in the GAR hospital didn’t get many visitors, most didn’t stay long enough to need visitors though the ones that lived through their ordeals usually recovered on transports back to the front line. But this trooper had a frequent visitor, a Jedi.

“He must be a very good commander for you to check in on him so often,” you comment one afternoon, standing by the door. The tall Kel Dor turned to face you.

“He is. A dutiful, loyal, hardworking commander. But that is not why I come to see him,” he says

“Why then? Certainly a Jedi Master and a General in the Grand Army of the Republic has many duties and responsibilities to see to,” you approach the bed with your tray of fresh wound dressings for his eye.

“The same reason you advocated for him when the Kaminoans wanted to let him die. He is a person. An individual. He is a good man. And he is a member of my team,” he explains while you work to remove the bandages that keep the stitches and cybernetics clean.

“You care for him,” you say with a smile, applying a layer of bacta gel to the stitches with a cotton bud.

“Indeed. I care for him, and all of his brothers that serve under my command. I am not the only one who worries after his health,” The jedi steps around you, trying not to be in the way.

“Well that makes two of us. I don’t even know him, but I want him to live. And not just to keep serving the republic,” you finish applying the bacta gel and begin rewrapping his head with clean bandages.

“You have a good heart doctor, and better view of the troopers than most. I think he’ll like you when he has the chance to formally meet you,” the jedi says

“I should hope so, he’ll have to come back fairly regularly for check ups and case study updates. He’s the first living being with this particular model of prosthesis. If he doesn’t like me, it’ll be a very unpleasant couple months until the study is complete,” you’ve finished wrapping his head, but find you can’t stop looking at his handsome face. True you’ve seen thousands exactly like his before, but right now it’s as if you’ve never seen anyone like him.

“I’ll be the first to admit, he’s stubborn and a bit gruff. But he’s not so bad once you get to know him, he’s fiercely protective and hates to feel weak. This will be a difficult recovery for him, but I have confidence in him. And in you doctor,” you tear your gaze away from the commander and smile at the jedi.

“Thank you master jedi,” you give him a small bow of your head out of respect.

“Plo,” he says “No need for such formalities,” you wonder briefly if he is smiling beneath his deoxygenator, it certainly sounds like it.

“And him? They don’t include their chosen names in their identification codes, just CC and CT numbers. I doubt he goes by his CC number day to day,” you pack away your equipment, unfortunately other patients are waiting, as much as you would love to stay and chat with the kind jedi master. Plo tracks your movements, he senses your rising anxieties about having to leave and attend to other matters in the hospital. Just as you’re about to leave without getting an answer, Plo speaks up.

“His name is Wolffe”

—

Much to your delight, Commander Wolffe does wake up within a few days. And he’s every bit the stubborn, defensive, and unwilling patient Master Plo promised he would be. He keeps getting up and trying to leave despite obviously being in immense physical pain, he’s already ripped his stitches once, and he’s down right refusing to let you get near him to check the wound and change the dressing.

“Commander Wolffe I am at my wits end here. I’m going to step out to allow you a visitor, and when I come back you will be laying on that bed, I am changing those dressings, you are taking your medication. Is that that clear?” You bark at him. He glares at you with his one amber eye but does not respond.

You push the door open and see Master Plo waiting on the other side.

“He’s all yours General, talk some sense into him if you can,” you toss the comment over your shoulder as you head down to the nurses station for a cup of water.

Master Plo enters the patient room, and finds Wolffe pacing against the far wall. His head snaps up, and he visibly struggles to bring the newcomer into his field of vision.

“General!” Wolffe says in surprise, straightening his posture

“Wolffe, your doctor tells me you’re refusing care,” Plo closes the door behind him.

“I should be out there,” Wolffe growls “Kriff… I shouldn’t even be alive right now. They’re keeping me alive to keep me in a box!”

Plo senses that there is something more, something he’s holding back, beyond wanting to be released from med bay.

“You know better than most that withholding the truth can be the determining factor between life and death,” Master Plo says carefully, approaching Wolffe with slow movements “but this truth is one that needs to be shared,”

Wolffe’s shoulders drop and what little color he’s managed to regain drains from his face. His knees give out and he sinks down onto the floor, tears stain both his good cheek and the bandage. Master Plo moves to join him on the floor.

“Good soldiers don’t lay around in hospital beds and weep over superficial pain,” Wolffe says weakly “Soldiers that don’t recover quickly… get decommissioned and sent back to Kamino in a box,”

“You are already recovering quickly, and your doctor can give you something for the pain so you can heal faster,” Plo says cooly “You are not being sent back to Kamino. Your doctor made sure of that,”

“What?” Wolffe was surprised to hear this, up to this point all of his conscious interactions with you had been rather gruff and none too friendly, he can’t imagine why you weren’t doing everything in your power to get him out of your hospital and out of your way.

“A Kaminoan ambassador came to assess treatment at this hospital and saw your condition, they incorrectly assumed that it would be more beneficial to cease all treatment. Your doctor, shall we say, violently disagreed,”

“Violently sir?”

“They were furious she went ahead with the surgery. Believe me, if someone had recorded it on a holo I would show it to you. It was quite the spectacle,” Master Plo laughs “She was adamant that you deserved a fighting chance,”

—

Later that evening after General Plo had left, you returned to Wolffe’s room with a tray of equipment to change his dressings, and medicine to help with the pain.

“Commander Wolffe if I come into this room and you throw something or scream at me, I will have you physically restrained,” you say sharply before fully entering the room. He’s sitting on the bed facing away from the door.

“I won’t yell,” he replies quietly without turning around, his tone is decidedly gentler than before. Whatever the General said to him must have done the trick. You approach him cautiously, rounding the end of his bed so you could get a good look at him. His face is set in a harsh grimace.

“Are you in pain?” You ask. He nods but doesn’t reply. “I am going to change those dressings and we’re gonna test out that new eye. I think with a good dose of anti inflammatory medication, and some intraocular movement you’ll feel better,”

He nods again, you drag a chair over and sit in front of him, he doesn’t bat your hand away when you move to unwrap his bandages. The silvery white cybernetic eye under the protective padding is downcast to match its whiskey gold twin. The stitches are finally healing up with the help of the bacta gel.

“Good news Commander I think you’re healed enough you won’t need a fresh bandage. Now let’s see how well this prosthesis works. Can you look at my nose?” You remove a penlight from your pocket and shine it in each of his eyes.

You run through a series of tests asking him to stare straight ahead at you, follow the light with his eyes, and tell you when he can or can’t see you moving the end of the pen out of his vision. Pressure and tightness on his left side subsides he continues moving his eye around.

“Your reactions look normal, how does it feel?” you click off your penlight and tuck it away.

“Hurts a bit less,” he quietly admits “I’m sorry about before,”

His change in demeanor is a surprise but a welcome one, far better than him trying to escape or aggressively get away from you. You give him a small cup with the anti inflammatory medicine in it, and second small cup with water. He takes the pills without complaint. You remain seated in front of him, to maintain this comfortable closeness.

“It’s okay. I know this isn’t easy,” you give him a sympathetic look.

“General Plo mentioned that you advocated for me, I would be dead if it wasn’t for you…” he falters “thank you,”

That familiar feeling you had before when he was still on life support crept back up on you. Heartbreak for how much he and his brothers have to sacrifice, longing to show him the appreciation he deserves, and something else, something you can’t place.

“This war won’t last forever. You deserve the chance to live in the freedom and peace you fight so hard to protect,”

He’s a bit stunned. Sure he’s heard a handful of politicians advocating for clone rights, but he’s never heard anyone say something like this. He can tell your words are genuine and heartfelt.

“Is there any way I can repay you, or thank you for sticking your neck out for me?” He asks “It takes guts to stand up to those soulless bastards,”

“Well ah… don’t thank me too fast. I know you didn’t exactly sign up for this but your prosthetic is a brand new top of the line prototype. By default you’re a participant in the longitudinal study of its effectiveness,” you admit sheepishly. He raises an eyebrow and peers at you. “On the positive side, you’ll get a bit more shore leave to come in for appointments,”

“Well that’s certainly nothing to complain about. My offer still stands, can I take you out as a thank you?”

You smile warmly and quirk up a brow to match him. “Take me out? Hm… I get off in a couple hours and you’re being discharged from med bay today, I’m game if you give me a chance to run home and ditch my scrubs,”

“It’s a deal,”

[darthkruge]

Could you do an imagine where Anakin comforts an insecure reader

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Insecurities 

Summary: Anakin comes home to find the reader drowning in their own insecurities and does everything he can to make it better.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Heavy talk of insecurities, including the reader feeling insecure about their body, personality, relationship, basically themself in general. A little bit of blood and some injuries but nothing major. Angst to fluff, I’d say?

A/N: Hi anon! First off, I hope you’re okay. Secondly, thank you for requesting! And ofc I’ll write this, comfort fics are my shit! I tried to get this request out as quick as I could and it did take a tiny bit longer than I wanted, but I wanted to do it justice. Also, y’all are beautiful and perfect and I love each and every single person reading this. If anyone ever needs anything, I’m here always. If you wanna talk or vent or just share some of your thoughts, I got you. 

(not my gif)

It was just one of those days. You weren’t a stranger to them but, nonetheless, you always felt unprepared when they hit. The feeling where you wanted to crawl out of your own skin, your own mind. Where regardless of what clothes you wore, you hated how you looked. The thoughts were the worst part, telling you lies that felt terrifyingly like truths. 

You’re worthless. You’re unlovable. You’re ugly. Everyone else can see it. They all know. No one really wants to spend time with you. You’re annoying. You’re stupid. You’re a bad person. 

The thoughts spiraled and spiraled and spiraled until you were lost in your own head. When it came to this, you frequently fell. It was too painful to hold onto your consciousness and fight it, so you let go. The thoughts continued as you curled back up in your bed, in the apartment in Coruscant that you shared with him, the one that normally brought you such comfort, and stared blankly at the wall. Tears streamed down your face and you didn’t even have the energy to wipe them away. 

Truly, the worst part was feeling so defeated. You were a strong Jedi and you took your training seriously. You’d fought in countless battles, you should be able to handle one in your mind. You wished you were strong enough to fight against these thoughts. The shame you felt around your insecurities only made you feel more alone. Instead of reaching out on days like this, you just forced yourself into silence. 

You were especially afraid to tell Anakin. Your beautiful, perfect, kind, loving boyfriend. He didn’t deserve to deal with you. He had enough on his plate, it wasn’t his job to comfort you because you weren’t strong enough to deal with your own shit. You were scared that once he saw how you viewed yourself, he would come clean and admit to seeing you the same way. I mean, you were so obviously hideous, how could he not see it, too?

Meanwhile, Anakin was finishing up a training session in the Jedi Temple. Normally he’d train with Obi-Wan, but today he wanted to focus on himself. Honestly, he was a bit distracted. Since he had a busy day today and you had the day off, he had to leave before you woke up, which he absolutely hated. He loved being there when you woke up and cooking breakfast for the two of you. You’d been dating for a few months and he was truly shocked that you’d kept him around for this long. You were everything he’d ever wanted. 

He realized he was smiling as he thought of you and decided to reach out with the Force to be reminded of your presence. He knew it wasn’t what the Force was supposed to be used for but he honestly couldn’t help it, he missed you. You were a comfort to him and he liked to check and make sure you were alright. 

Anakin’s brow furrowed as he searched for you. Normally, you were meditating at this time and he could feel a sense of serenity and contentment around you. Today, however, he was met with pain. Pain, and fear, and hatred, and sadness, and anguish, and loneliness. Anakin braced himself against the wall, stumbling back at the severity of your emotions. Right after, he composed himself and took off in a run, trying to get to you as quickly as possible. 

“Y/N? Y/N?!” Anakin yelled, bursting through the door. He was immediately taken aback when he noticed that all the lights were off. Walking quietly, he heard your sobs coming from the bedroom. He went in and felt his heart shatter. There you were, his angel, curled under the blankets, sobbing. He looked around and noticed the mirror in your room smashed. He walked over and gently placed a hand on your back, trying not to startle or upset you more. 

You looked up at him and started crying even harder. He pulled you into his arms and noticed how you fell limply into his chest. The fight seemed to have extinguished from your eyes, causing him to hold you even closer. Your arms weakly surrounded his middle as his hands stroked your back and gently combed through your hair. 

You felt lost and trapped, the world around you fuzzy and distorted from the tears. Even so, you felt him. You breathed him in, inhaling his comforting scent and feeling his warmth. He helped you ground yourself, the broken wails eventually quieting into soft cries. Anakin didn’t try to shush you, he just whispered reassurances into your hair, let you get it out, and held you. “I’ve got you, love. It’s alright, get it out. I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

You listened to those affirmations as you sagged into him, taking a few more minutes to just lay there. Softly, Anakin pulled you away from him so he could study you. You saw his face contorted with worry and immediately felt guilty. Great, Y/N, now you’ve made him upset. Fuck, he doesn’t deserve this. Why did I have to be so fucking needy?!

Your thoughts were interrupted by him. “What happened, angel?”

“I-” You trailed off, not sure what to say. “I just had a shit day”

You could tell he knew it was more and, feeling vulnerable under his intensely caring gaze, brought your hand to move the hair out of your face.

Quickly, you heard Anakin take a sharp inhale of breath before grabbing your hand. Ouch. You looked down and noticed the cut on the back of your hand. It had mostly dried by now, thankfully, but the pain from punching that mirror earlier was definitely still registering. 

He wordlessly went to the bathroom and brought out some gauze and anti-bacterial medicine. When he returned, his eyes drifted to the mirror and you saw him putting the pieces together. He spent a few moments in silence, his expression downcast. He worked quickly, bandaging you up and collecting his thoughts. “Why?” He asked, softly.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t stand to look at myself anymore” You whispered, wiping away some residual tears from your eyes. 

“Y/N, you’re gorgeous, love. Please, angel, please look at me.” He cupped your face and moved you so you were in his lap, making sure you heard every word. “You are truly the most breathtaking person I’ve ever met. You’re ethereal.”

Anakin’s voice was quiet as he told you these things. Quiet, yet powerful. Almost as if it was the gentle caress of his innermost thoughts. Completely honest and raw, yet too intimate for anyone to hear except you.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry your brain is lying to you. That must be so hard, fighting against your own mind. Baby, you’re brave. You’re so, so brave.”

You were shaking your head, “Ani, no, no I’m not. I’m not brave, I didn’t fight. I let them consume me. I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe until you came in. I couldn’t anchor myself at all, I was so weak” You said, disgusted with yourself. 

“Shh, shh, Y/N, listen. You are strong because even though you felt the weight of everything on your shoulders, you didn’t drown. I know you felt like you would, but look! You’re here. You didn’t drown.” He took a second to pause, kissing your forehead lovingly. “Do you want to talk about what brought this on?”

“If I tell you, promise you won’t think differently of me?”

“I promise. Nothing could change how I feel about you.”

You inhaled deeply, hands shaking slightly. Ani took them in his own, steadying them while looking at you deeply. “I’ve been dealing with some shit for a while and I think it all kind of caught up to me today? I hate how I look, Ani. I look in the mirror and I can’t handle it. That’s why I broke it, I just, I couldn’t. And then I was just thinking of how you don’t deserve to deal with someone like me. You shouldn’t have to come home after a day of training and deal with my breakdowns. I know I should have told you I’ve been feeling like this. I just was terrified. I was terrified you’d agree with me. I’m terrified you’ll leave me. I’m terrified you’ll wake up and see how you deserve so much more than the shitty fucking messed up person I am.” You trail off and meet his eyes, tears glistening in both of yours, “Ani, I’m so terrified” You finish, voice wavering. 

Anakin rests his forehead against yours, pressing kisses to your hands. He lets his eyes close and tears fall down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe you were in this much pain and he never noticed. You were the love of his life and he felt like he’d failed you if you feel like this. 

“Y/N, I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not going anywhere. You are the best person for me, hell, you’re the best person in the entire fucking galaxy. Everyday I wake up and think about how lucky I am to call you mine. You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re compassionate. You’re stubborn as hell and I love that about you. You challenge me and you’re a damn good Jedi. You’re strong, stronger than anyone should ever have to be. Your heart inspires me everyday. Simply, you’re good. And I know I said it a bit earlier, but I’m gonna say it again. You are stunning, love. Truly.” Anakin said, pulling away so he could really see you. 

“Look at your legs! They’re so pretty, baby. Especially when you jump up and wrap them around me after I get home from a mission? That’s the best feeling in the freaking world! And your stomach! You always let me rest my head on it when I’m tired and I know you think it’s weird but it’s such a good angle because I can lay there and play with your hands. And, baby, your arms!! You give such good hugs and you when wrap them around me?? It makes me feel safe in a world full of chaos. And at night when you use them to curl into me, or when we’re dancing together? Fuck, I just love them.”

Anakin trailed off for a second. He held your face in his palms and you leaned into their warmth. “And you’re face, Y/N. It’s just so perfectly you. When I look into your eyes, I know I’m home. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t understand how you can hate your body when it's the body that makes me feel like I’m going to be okay. You make me feel like I’m going to be okay. I’ve always felt so out of control, so lost. But you ground me. Please, come to me if you ever feel like this again? You are not a burden or a messed up person. You’re everything. I’m here for you. I know my words won’t fix anything overnight. Even so, I promise you, I will repeat them everyday until you believe them and, after that, I will continue to remind you until my last breath.”

You hugged him and nuzzled into his chest, overcome with emotion. “I’m trying Ani, I’m really trying. It’s not easy for me to come to people when I feel like that but I promise I’ll try.”

His arms tightened around you and he placed a kiss on the top of your head. “That’s all I could ever ask of you, love. Thank you for being willing to try”

“Thank you, too, for talking me down today. It doesn’t normally get that bad. Some days are worse than others, you know? But you really helped me. I love you more than anything. I love you for loving me when I feel unlovable” 

“I will always be here to remind you how deserving you are of love, happiness, and every other positive thing in the universe. I love you, too. I’ve loved you for years, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever”

Anakin hadn’t really let you go since he returned to the apartment. He was naturally a protective person and hated to see you hurting. He was so soft, so comforting. Although vulnerability is always hard, he made it so much easier. You knew he would always validate you, comfort you, and be there without judgement. He was everything you could possibly need and more.

Eventually, your breathing evened out as he rocked you in his arms. Anakin layed you back under the covers and went to pull away to sweep up the broken mirror’s glass. As he attempted to release himself from your arms, you whined and only tightened your grip on him. Anakin smiled and chuckled quietly, laying down and pulling you on top of his chest. You hummed contently and he placed a few more soft kisses onto your hair, your forehead, your shoulders, everywhere. You were his top priority always and he wanted to keep you safe physically, mentally, and emotionally. He could never deny you comfort, especially not in this state. After waiting a few more moments to ensure you were truly at rest, Ani closed his eyes. The glass could always wait until tomorrow...

[robininthelabyrinth]

Unfettered (aka NHS goes feral) - part 3 - previous parts: on ao3 or tumblr pt 1, pt 2

-

Lan Xichen had the strangest feeling that something was going to happen.

He wouldn’t pretend that he had a touch of foresight – life had shown him the hard way how completely he lacked any sorts of skill in that direction– and there was nothing altogether unusual about anything that had happened in the past few days of the war. Lan Xichen was helping with so much more now than he had during the Sunshot Campaign, when he’d been able to be a little above it all as a mere courtier or a single but powerful scouting force, thanks in large part to his sect’s then-existing weakness and Nie Mingjue’s utter brilliance. Nowadays he had to deal with the endless drudgery of war administration: the clean-up before and after battles, the mechanics of feeding and supplying all the cultivators in their front lines, planning their next move and the next after that…

Nie Huaisang had received a message and stormed out, looking annoyed, but that wasn’t new, either.

There were many demands on his time, after all. Nie Huaisang might not have much experience at war on a personal basis, having largely (and willingly) been sidelined during the Sunshot Campaign, but he was a sharp study and an excellent judge of people. He managed their generals – selected for merit without any attention to what sect they were from, if any – with an iron fist that rivaled his control over his own disciples, and on top of the war there was also his extensive network of spies, his constant scrutiny of their supply lines, his supervision of internecine disputes between the sects…

The divisions between us will be the first place Jin Guangshan strikes, he had said – snarled, rather – at the last meeting between sect leaders, taking to task men twice his age without so much as the blink of an eye. I want this petty bullshit between you resolved, now, and I don’t care how many generations you’ve been fighting over it. If you don’t fix it, I’ll fix it for you, and I assure you that neither of you want that.

They’d resolved it.

After all, Nie Huaisang was right: no one wanted him to step in.  

It was a little ironic, Lan Xichen thought. The entire war had started because of Jin Guangshan’s lust for power, his desire to be called Chief Cultivator – a term Nie Huaisang denounced, as Nie Mingjue had before him – and now it was Nie Huaisang to whom the cultivation world deferred without question.

People were afraid of him.

It still seemed a little ridiculous to Lan Xichen, as if at any moment someone would step in and say that it was all a joke that they’d all been taken in by. That Nie Huaisang was still the excitable little roly-poly puppy he’d always been, Lan Xichen’s good friend’s little brother: stubborn and cute and smarter than he pretended to be, interested in nothing but his art and his fans and his clothing, lazy and indolent and unabashedly happy in a way that had brightened Lan Xichen’s day to see, every time.

He wasn’t, though. And it was Lan Xichen that had helped make him into what he was now.

During his travels, he’d heard cultivators in the field referring to Nie Huaisang as the Pallbearer, obliquely calling him the virtuous mourner as if he were a death-god whose name should not be directly uttered lest it draw his attention – it wasn’t anything Nie Huaisang had accepted as a personal title, utterly inauspicious as it was, but if he didn’t take one soon, he’d be stuck with it. If he wasn’t already.

People were simply uncomfortable calling him Nie-er-gongzi the way they had before, and Lan Xichen didn’t blame them one bit – the Nie-er-gongzi of the past was unrecognizable in the man of today.

But neither could he blame Nie Huaisang for refusing the title of Sect Leader Nie as long as his brother still had a single spark of life in his body.

Nie Mingjue…

Lan Xichen missed him terribly.

He knew he didn’t have the right to – Nie Huaisang had made that clear enough – but he did. He missed his old friend, with his confidence and his kindness and his goodness. He missed having a confidant who esteemed him and who trusted him, who shared everything with him without a moment’s hesitation, who always tried his best and honored those who did the same.

He’d once, and only once, caught a brief glimpse of Nie Mingjue after everything had happened: he’d been in bed, pale as death, face quiet and slack and peaceful in a way it never was, with doctors surrounding him. At the time, they were working furiously to save his life as Nie Huaisang paced furiously outside the door, refusing food and only drinking enough water to replenish the tears that streamed endlessly down his face.

That had been early on, before they’d realized Nie Mingjue had lapsed into a deep coma from which there was no telling when or if he would awake and, even if he did, in what state he would be left in. That had been before Nie Huaisang had banned Lan Xichen from the Unclean Realm…banned everyone, really, hosting them anywhere else he could rather than allow them anywhere near his brother when he was vulnerable.

Before he’d slowly started giving up hope. Before they all had.

It’d been years, after all. Surely if Nie Mingjue’s indomitable strength could heal him, it would have done so by now?

Of course, even if Nie Mingjue did eventually wake up, it wasn’t as if Lan Xichen would get his friend back the way it had once been. Nie Mingjue had always been righteous to the point of rigidity, willing to make the hard choices to punish those who had done wrong no matter their identity, and Lan Xichen had failed him so thoroughly, so completely…

Guiltily, too, he knew that if Nie Mingjue woke up, he’d undoubtedly step up as general once more, coordinating everything the way he had during the Sunshot Campaign – and that meant they wouldn’t need to rely on Lan Xichen’s assistance anymore.

Nie Huaisang had made that clear, too.

Whoever had raised his ire by sending him that message that had pulled him away from their work together…well, they’d better have a very good excuse. Nie Huaisang hated to be interrupted, his temper as short as anyone in his family’s had ever been, and his tongue was more poisonous than Jiang Cheng’s.

Lan Xichen would know, being its most frequent target.

Nie Huaisang had never forgiven Lan Xichen in his part in preserving Jin Guangyao’s life, and lacking the actual assassin to rend to bits, he had grimly decided to make do with the accomplice. He needled Lan Xichen at every instance, taunting him with his failures and deficiencies, making nasty jibes and underhanded remarks that cut deep – and Lan Xichen deserved every single one of them.

Back then, it had been Lan Xichen who had hesitated, refusing to believe the truth. Refusing to believe that his then (and, perhaps, still) beloved A-Yao could ever do such terrible things of which he had been accused, either at his time in the Nightless City or the assassination of Nie Mingjue – he had pushed back, prevaricated, insisted on investigating more, finding out more…in the end the truth had come out in all its ugly wretched filthy glory and the only thing his foot-dragging and indecisiveness that he’d pretended was a devotion to justice had gotten him was Nie Huaisang’s endless disdain.

The worst of it, though, wasn’t the humiliation or the insults, nor his feelings of failure and guilt.

No, it was the way his foolish heart raced at how Nie Huaisang looked now, with all restraint a distant memory – the sharp Nie features on his delicate face turning from blurred to clear as the childhood fat on his cheeks melted away; the intelligence that flashed in his eyes, now unhidden by any pretense or indifference; the utter brilliance in the casual way he rattled off orders, effortlessly taking command without permitting any backtalk; the way he moved, a mixture of the martial general and a dancer’s grace; the way everything about him perfectly fit to Lan Xichen’s taste –

He really was a fool.

He had a crush on you for years, Lan Xichen reminded himself. Nie Mingjue even told you about it, he’d even approved of it back then if only you were interested, and yet you pretended you knew nothing. But now, now when he hates you, despises you, sees you as little better than a worm to crush beneath his heel, now is when you finally choose to see what’s always been there?

He hadn’t said anything to Nie Huaisang about it, of course. There wasn’t any point when Nie Huaisang already thought of him in the worst possible terms – weakling, willfully blind, murderer – and he could easily imagine how it might go, if he ever tried anything.

(“I heard some soldiers say that I resemble Jin Guangyao,” Nie Huaisang had mused one day, his hands locked behind his back as he looked down at their troops training in the field. His voice was cold as ice and sharp as a blade. “Though there’s some disagreement as to whether it’s my face or the devious turns of my mind that bring up the comparison. I thought I’d ask you, Zewu-jun, you being the expert and all – am I a good replacement? A suitable stand-in? If I smile at you enough times, will you do whatever I say without question, the way you did for him?”

I would already do anything for you, Lan Xichen had thought at the time, full of sorrow. In a way that goes well beyond what I felt for him. But even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me, would you?)

No, it was clear enough to Lan Xichen that his father’s blood ran strong in him, dooming him to only love where he was not loved in return, and to finally realize the strength of that love only when it was too late.  At least it seemed that Lan Wangji had escaped that fate with Wei Wuxian, their earlier misunderstandings aside.

A moment later, as if summoned by his thoughts, the man himself appeared.

“Oh, Zewu-jun, there you are! Have you seen Nie-xiong?” Wei Wuxian asked, popping his head in through the door. Lan Wangji was a few steps behind him, waiting patiently as he always did – he was always patient with Wei Wuxian, gentle in a manner that reminded Lan Xichen of the way he sometimes cared for the wild rabbits back at the Cloud Recesses.

They hadn’t spoken much, of late. Lan Wangji had understood Lan Xichen’s weakness and had not held it against him, but that didn’t mean Lan Xichen had forgiven himself, nor did it lessen the sting of shame he felt over events he felt must have lost him the respect of his younger brother, no matter how Lan Wangji denied it – it was easier to focus on matters of war.

“He was called away suddenly, I’m afraid,” Lan Xichen said. “He left a few shichen ago, but he said he’d be back in time for dinner.”

“Dinner has already passed,” Lan Wangji said, his voice neutral – an obvious reprimand for Lan Xichen for having not noticed, shaded with concern over the way Lan Xichen didn’t always eat the way he should. He wouldn’t be hurt by it, he practiced inedia the way they all did, of course, but that didn’t mean he should miss meals if he didn’t have to. “He has not yet returned?”

“Not that I’ve noticed. But if it’s that late, he should be back soon. Do you need him for something urgent?”

“As urgent as anything else in this war,” Wei Wuxian said with a shrug. “If you see him, let us know.”

“Why do you assume I’ll see him first?” Lan Xichen asked, a little amused, but Wei Wuxian blinked at him as if he’d said something foolish.

“He always comes to you first,” he said. “Hadn’t you noticed?”

Lan Xichen’s breath caught briefly – no, he hadn’t noticed, and his mind immediately started to race, his heart growing warm…but no. He only was being foolish again. As the army’s courier, its administrator, Lan Xichen was the obvious person for Nie Huaisang to contact if he wanted to get his plans spread out to everyone as soon as possible.

There didn’t have to be anything more to it than that.

“So when he arrives, if you could just tell him –”

“No need,” Lan Wangji interrupted. “He is approaching.”

A few moments later, and it was clear from the footsteps that Lan Wangji was right, as always – when Lan Wangji was younger, Lan Xichen used to tease him about having the ears of a bat, capable of detecting everything, and sometimes he really thought it might be true.

They waited, and the door opened, and Lan Xichen instinctively turned away as Nie Huaisang let himself in, not wanting to see those hard eyes turn even harder, the instinctive sneer that rose to Nie Huaisang’s lips at the sight of him that it always took him an extra moment to suppress.

“Nie-xiong?” Wei Wuxian asked, his voice rising a register in his shock. “What happened?”

Lan Xichen turned back at once, suddenly cold all over in terror. Had Nie Huaisang been injured? Some ambush, some attack, or worst of all a garrote made of guqin string the way he’d so foolishly taught A-Yao – but no, when he examined him with his eyes, Nie Huaisang looked hale as always, but for the redness and swelling around his eyes.

He looked for all the world as if he’d been –

Crying?

And yet Lan Xichen knew that Nie Huaisang hadn’t wept in years. One could probably accurately say that Nie Huaisang hadn’t had any expression in years, nothing that wasn’t a sneer or a grimace, maybe at best a smirk. What could have caused him to do so now…?

Nie Huaisang shook his head and unexpectedly – smiled.

A real true smile, his eyes curving into crescents and wrinkling at the corners, his cheeks glowing pink and his teeth flashing just like when he was younger and more innocent and smiled like that all the time. A smile of the sort that Lan Xichen hadn’t appreciated when he had it, the sort he’d thought was lost forever.

Lan Xichen’s heart stopped in his chest.

He wished he could stop this moment, too, to keep it with him for the rest of time.

“It’s da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, beaming. “He woke up.”

Oh, Lan Xichen thought. Oh.

Oh no.

[aether-mc-stuff]

Dream SMP - Roleswap AU

Boy oh boy have I got Things To Say about @petrichormeraki 's roleswap au. Buckle up.

Wilbur<>Tommy

•Wilbur

Wilbur still starts the Camarvan thing; however, it's Tommy who really swoops in and makes it a nation.

I'm actually not sure if I want to fully swap over the disc thing to Wilbur. On one hand it fits, but I'm the other it's such an intrinsically Tommy thing? I think it makes more sense to keep the disc conflict attached to Tommy and Dream tbh, I just can't see Wilbur getting attached to the discs and later on having a conflict abt them with Schlatt. This however creates a bit of a problem with Wilbur not having enough conflict with Dream to back up the later exile and doomsday 2 arcs

The duel happens though and get this: the weapons are reversed (expanded on later). Dream essentially demands to duel Wilbur because he knows Wilbur isn't as good at pvp as, say, Tommy. The duel is essentially a one-hit sword fight, and obviously, Dream wins. (There's a reason there's a weapon swap :])

Wilbur is also the one who suggested the election imo!

I think the initial catalyst for the exile are would remain the same with Wilbur because let's face it - thieving is kind of on brand for him

I think during the exile our Dream would have made a very specific point of destroying any jukeboxes Wilbur would have made because he realized that Wilbur finds comfort and solace in music

closer to the end of the exile arc, instead of building up a pillar like Tommy did Wilbur just. goes and lies down in the ocean. upon the realization that Dream was manipulating him he just goes Okay no, swims up and heads out of exile

If we’re swapping henry and friend then Wilbur has Orange Friend during exile (yes he’s actually named that)

•Tommy

one of my two favorite swaps in this AU

Tommy gains his position of leadership and power in L'Manburg mainly because of his prowess in combat and battle tactics (specifically in battle; he barely understands how running a government works but it seems important to Wilbur soooo)

Once again, there's the question of swapping the Disc War. Still unsure of how we can go about this.

Tommy was the one who invited Tubbo (<>Schlatt) to endorse POG2020.

and now probably my fav part of this AU: Pogtopia Tommy!!

So instead of Wilbur's whole "we're the villains" thing, Tommy goes in the complete opposite direction: He and Wilbur are the true heroes in this, the underdogs, the ones who need to succeed, to win in the end. And when the odds are so stacked against you, you sometimes have to use... Less favorable methods.

Honestly I think Wilbur is still the one to say the iconic "are we the bad guys?" line - maybe after sneaking into Manberg to talk with Schlatt (<> Tubbo) and seeing that things aren’t as bad there (Tubbo is actually competent in comparison to canon Schlatt). Except that drives Tommy completely off the edge as he rants about how "No the fuck we're not, in fact we're in the right, we're always in the right, hey Wilbur those guys in L'Manburg don't deserve it, we should make them pay by any means necessary-"

also if we keep the disc conflict connection to Tommy, then Tommy accepting help from Dream to blow up his own nation hits just that tiny bit harder.

to echo Dream and Tommy's canon duel, Tommy is killed in the button room not by a sword but by a crossbow (I know the duel had bows but trust me using a bow in close quarters is hard).

also considering Tommy’s frequent use of bows on the smp it would make sense for him to have one on him

Gommy (Ghost Tommy) is a bit more aware-ish than canon Ghostbur but also can only recall good memories (mainly bc Tommy believes that he won: he avenged himself and his nation. His job is done.)

So obviously Henry and Friend are swapped

Tubbo<>Schlatt

• Tubbo

ah yes my second favorite swap in this AU

Tubbo isn't necessarily as charismatic as canon Schlatt, but he still has a way with words mainly thanks to his intelligence. guy's like,, really smart

There's a theory that in canon Schlatt convinced or maybe even manipulated Quackity to pool their votes, And I suggest we make it concrete in this au: Tubbo specifically convinces Quackity' s swap to pool their votes as a way to get himself in power.

Tubbo is ambitious and smart and an actually competent leader; I also think he finds out about Schlatt’s betrayal much earlier and for about half the time before the festival he's just quietly seething that he cannot reveal this information earlier in order to play his cards right

not sure how the whole final showdown in the Camarvan would play out in this AU because I don't see Tubbo as one to get drunk and then die of a heart attack during the final battle for Manberg. (ooh what if Tubbo realized they were losing, and in a panic overdosed on potions?)

edit: upon thinking about this AU some more, i've think that Tubbo's motivations for was mainly actual concern for L'Manburg. "wait you started this nation out of a drug van? Do you have any idea how to even run a country?". However, it should be kept in mind that roleswap!Tubbo is willing to go drastic measures to secure the prosperity of his nation.

• Schlatt

I don't have much to say on Schlatt, but I do think he's slightly worse at hiding his allegiance to Pogtopia than Tubbo was

when Schlatt is eventually elected president he's so much more competent than canon Schlatt simply because not only is he charismatic, but he also had the time to learn from the mistakes of the previous leaders.

Obviously I want to keep the compass idea for Wilbur and Schlatt but like. What if the compasses were styled to look like playing cards

So so @petrichormeraki suggested swapping Technoblade and Fundy, and while that has potential and I'm still not completely sure if who I want to swap with Technoblade, I bring you:

BadBoyHalo <> Technoblade

• BadBoyHalo

here's how I see it going down: Bad joins the server coincidentally during the election

Tommy (at least before he goes completely off the rails) recognizes that they need strong allies and that just him and Wilbur will not be able to take L'Manburg back. Bad agrees to help them take back L’Manburg because he sees Tommy and Wilbur being in charge as much less of a threat than Tubbo

honestly considering this, Tommy probably just genuinely wants L’Manburg back, and truly believes it was unjustly taken from him and that the current administration doesn’t deserve it.

essentially Bad’s one condition is that once they get L’Manburg back they don't do anything to attempt to undermine Bad's power

which in his eyes, this is exactly what happens on the 16th

Bad being swapped with Technoblade also ties into Phil being swapped with Sam

I also saw the idea of swapping the syndicate with the Eggpire, and I think swapping Bad with Technoblade leads into that very cleanly

also after the 16th Bad moves away to the mesa biome instead of the tundra (haha get it? Badlands biome?? I'm funny)

Bad does not have a period of retirement, and when he visits Wilbur and exile Bad simply tells him that he's taking a “bit of a break”

During the events of the festival Bad shoots Schlatt not necessarily because of peer pressure, but because he realizes that in that moment Tubbo is in power, and him refusing to execute Schlatt would jeopardize everything including Bad's further plans.

I love the idea of swapping the egg / crimson with the blood God; in this au I think that the crimson Acts as sort of a Spidey sense to Bad but isn't as prevalent as the voices are for Technoblade.

• Technoblade

Like canon Bbh, he’s been a powerful force on the server for a while; he hasn’t necessarily been active before the Blood God started being more active.

Canon Bad is the one to leave the armor and equipment under the tree that canon Tommy takes when he leaves exile; Technoblade leaving that for Wilbur is just sbi content skfjhgkjh

I love the theory that his voices are the followers of the Blood God who haven’t made it, that’s why they chant how he never dies

Awesamdude <> Philza Minecraft

• Awesamdude

Ok consider: Sam is somewhat like a father figure to Tommy, and is actually on the server but as Tommy went off to start L’Manburg misguidedly decides to give him some space

And when he finally arrives on the 16th he gets to shoot someone he cared for like a son. What fun :)

• Philza

Ok but what if Dream invites him onto the server when Pandora’s Vault starts to be built specifically to oversee the prison

I don’t have much on roleswap!Phil so if y’all have anything I’ll take it

Ranboo <> Eret

My initial idea was to swap Quackity with Eret, but considering the later on casino arc and Ranboo in canon helping Tommy steal from George your swap makes so much more sense

Yes I will be making more for this. Roleswap Brainrot babey

[universe-not-taken]

What your Dream SMP Kin says about you, but I’m analyzing your trauma as well!

(Only a select few characters! Don’t see your kin? Send an ask i’ll analyze for you!)

Tommy: You’re loud, brash, and vibrant everyone loves you but also hates you at the same time, you get on people’s nerves but still know a way to keep everyone laughing. You feel like you always loose battles, and maybe it’s because you do, when you finally grasp something good you loose something else and you can’t figure out if it’s a curse or just your luck. You’re absolutely touch starved, please get a hug from somebody.

Tubbo: You’re intelligent, misunderstood, and you wear your heart on your sleeve, you’re most likely the mother friend of your group, but subtly, nobody ever asks you how you feel and you never talk about your problems until they come out in a big burst of sadness. You’re never thanked for your services to people and taken advantage of, you need to let go of the past and start cutting out toxic people in your life.

Wilbur: You have no idea what you’re doing and it shows, you’re following your heart but letting your mind make decisions. You’re bold, flashy, and maybe a little bit unhinged, you keep to the light side of things, joking even when you feel terrible, people rely on you to keep the energy up and the fight strong, you don’t know how much longer you can last before you shut down emotionally, maybe get a therapist or find someone to vent to.

Ghostbur: You’re sweet and forgiving, unless someone hurts your friend(s). You prefer not to remember what happened in your past but instead stay in the present keeping every moment to yourself, but you have trauma that needs to be resolved, you need someone to talk to, you need to keep your head out of the future, and focus on yourself and healing, healing isn’t easy but I believe in you.

Fundy: You’re insanely smart but never recognized for it, you’re hyper and fun, but you’re treated like you don’t know anything, you’re babied when you just want freedom and to be yourself instead of the light people you love paint you in. You want to go feral, you’re a follower and not a natural born leader, but you want to be. You need to get yourself out there, it might be hard, but you’ll get some well deserved praise.

Niki: You’re sweet, caring, brave, and often over looked and not paid much attention to, but as soon as you shine your light is blinding. You deserve some arson and also to go feral, you’re the obvious mother friend and everyone counts on you to keep them safe, people with parental issues gravitate towards you with no regard for your own mental stability, please start taking care of yourself too, you deserve the world.

Quackity: You’re funny, loud, and absolutely beautiful. You want someone to be proud of you and love you for who you are, everyone says you’re an attention seeker but truthfully you don’t get a lot for attention, you’ve had some abusive people in your life and can’t find a way to stop running into those people, saying every time “This’ll be different,”. You’re brave and strong for everything you’ve gone through and need someone who isn’t flashy but cares, and sometimes you need to learn to love yourself before others.

Schlatt: You have a lot of underlying problems, you’re lucky you’re a naturally powerful person. You’re funny without being loud and you need to back off from others, when you walk into a room people notice. Did your friends every really pay attention to you? You feel the need to attract attention and you do, so what now? You need lots of help and maybe some rehab, be strong, don’t break.

Ranboo: You want to be the best for everybody, you have no idea who you originally were from your changing for other people, you’re anxious and probably have a lot of self doubt, you don’t believe you can change anything. You’re sweet, brave, and doubtful, yet you hold onto that bit of hope every day and try to make sure other people feel that same hope. You need someone who is chill but cares about you and your health, never stop looking, and never stop hoping.

Technoblade: You’re quiet, strong, and intimidating. You have trouble opening up to people, and despite every single time you’ve been betrayed you’re willing to trust again, and that scares you, you have a heart under all that tough skin and armor, don’t ever forget that, you don’t know if it’s okay to release your emotions and that’s fine, take your time and make sure you talk to someone about that, open up, what’s the worst that could happen?

Philza: You’re trying your best and lots of people respect you for that, you’re calm and caring, but when you want you can be very scary, you’re always scared you aren’t doing enough, and you feel bad for everything you’ve neglected, You want someone to take care of you for once, because you take care of others so frequently it’s a second nature, you’re mental health is bad but just keep climbing that mountain of redemption, no matter how many boulders come tumbling down keep trying.

Sapnap: You want someone to notice you and praise you for your good and bad doings, you’ve lost a lot of friends and items of importance to you, you don’t know if you can last much longer, and it’s okay to break down, you’ve been through so much, maybe you should rest just this once. You’re funny, kind, and most likely an extrovert.

Dream: You’re scared someone will see through your mask, you’re scared of a lot of things, but it’s mostly losing your friends to other people, so you keep them close and safe, You’re intelligent, wise, and dangerous, you understand a lot of things much more than you should, you’re a natural trickster, but you’re also  natural leader, you work your best under stress and that’s unhealthy, just tell your friends how much they mean to you, there’s no need to avoid them.

[guardianofrivendell]

LOTR/Hobbit Characters and Your First Kiss

A/N: This was a preference series I honestly expected someone to request by now, and it sat in my drafts for a long time. I finally had inspiration to write it so here you go. I’ve done some kisses in previous preferences, but nothing beats the very first kiss. Enjoy!

A/N 2: I know that these preferences aren’t really short enough to be called preferences, both Legolas and Kili are 700+ words...  🙈 Next time I’ll just write “And then you kissed.”

Warnings: kisses (duh!), some a little steamier than the other (couldn’t help myself sorry not sorry) and an f-bomb with Kili (which I know is out of character but work with me here)

LEGOLAS  

Longing glances, accidental hand brushing, pining after someone who was seemingly out of reach... It wasn’t unknown to you, unfortunately. You and Legolas had been dancing around each other for what seemed like centuries. Which was impossible since you were human, but it certainly felt that long to you. Feelings were involved from the very first moment you laid eyes on him, and you tried to make it known in a subtle, and later in a not so subtle way. But Legolas was oblivious or just plain stupid - you hadn’t decided yet - and you stayed in the friendzone.  Some moments you were sure he returned your feelings, and then something happened (or didn’t happen) that made you not so sure anymore. Like the lack of kisses to name one.

You were not familiar with the Elvish way of courting. The only person you could ask was Legolas and yeah... that wasn’t going to happen. So you didn’t want to take any initiative, afraid you would cross a line you didn’t know existed.

And then the whole quest to destroy the one ring happened. You had joined for the adventure and to see more of Middle Earth, and yes, also because Legolas was coming too. No one could blame you for trying to spend more time with your crush... Who knows, maybe he had to save you and realizes he almost lost you, confessing his feelings because of it. Failsafe plan right? Yeah well... that didn’t happen. You were in constant danger, that went like expected, but it seemed like you didn’t need saving since you were a seasoned warrior. And to put yourself in mortal peril on purpose, that just wasn’t like you. Sure, Legolas held your hand while climbing rocks, or let you rest your head on his shoulder when you were tired. But that’s what every member of the fellowship would do. They didn’t, but they would if you’d ask.

So when you, Aragorn, Gimli and Master Friendzone finally reached Edoras, you had given up all hope.  Which is why Éomer caught your eye. You had met him before when you were looking for Merry and Pippin and you couldn’t help but find the handsome, bulky man on a horse attractive. He was the exact opposite of everything Legolas was. Just what you needed. At the victory celebration of the battle of Helm’s Deep, Éomer had approached you. You were all dressed up - thank Éowyn for that - and he complimented your appearance, asking for a dance.  While you danced, you failed to notice Legolas was keeping an eye on you from across the room. He watched how you twirled around, pure joy written all over your face, and he couldn’t help but smile. He thought you looked absolutely stunning in a dress. He still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about you, but the feeling in his stomach didn’t lie. His smile dropped immediately when he saw how low Éomer’s hand was on your back. He felt a jolt of pain in his hand, and when he looked at it, he noticed he had crushed the empty metal cup he had been holding.

You felt Éomer’s hand on your lower back but you didn’t say anything. It was probably just the ale in his system. As soon as he would do anything inappropriate, you would end the dance but for now you were going to enjoy the attention.  When he twirled you again, you bumped into Legolas.  “A word, please?” he said through gritted teeth. He didn’t wait for your answer, dragging you off the dancefloor with more force than you ever expected him to use on you. He didn’t stop until you reached a deserted hallway, you could barely hear the music anymore.  “Legolas, what is going on with- mppfh!” You were silenced when he crashed his lips on yours, pushing you against the wall. It didn’t take long before you kissed him back. It was a rough kiss, all teeth and tongue and you hadn’t expect this from him at all. This wasn’t the sweet and gentle Legolas you knew. But hey, you weren’t complaining!  When he finally broke the kiss, you were both panting.  “What just happened?” you asked. You knew what happened of course, and you still couldn’t believe it, but you wanted to know what drove him to do this. “My eyes finally opened,” he spoke, licking his lips. “I am sorry it took me so long.” So it was jealousy that had finally done the trick.  “Well, I could think of a way or two to make it up to me...” you smirked, pulling him further down the hallway...

KILI

You worked at the pub Fili and Kili frequently visited. It was one of the few places they could leave all their royal duties (including the title) behind them and just be themselves. Sometimes they brought some of the other Dwarves of the company, but usually it was just the two of them.

Not that it made it easier for you when they were alone. Fili was the older brother and more mature one, but when he had his share of ale, all inhibitions went out the door. The same went for Kili, although he didn’t need ten mugs of ale to loosen up. He was very flirtatious by nature.  So when you heard him ask you for a kiss when you brought them their next round, you didn’t even look up. He always did this, and you always ignored it.

You didn’t know why he asked you for a kiss every single time. The first time he asked, he was so drunk you thought you misheard him. He pouted at your rejection and you promised him he would get one if he was sober. You knew he wouldn’t remember the next day. One week later, the brothers returned and Kili repeated his question when you served them their drinks. Since he was sober that time, you just laughed and shook your head. After that, it kind of became a habit. He would ask for a kiss, and you would reject him every single time.

“This calls for a kiss, don’t you think?” “I think I need you to pay for these drinks.” “Let me pay you with a kiss this time.” “Kisses don’t buy me food.” “Don’t I deserve at least one kiss?” “I’ll let you know as soon as you deserve one.”

He never gave up, and you never gave in. You hated to admit it, but it became harder and harder for you to reject Kili. Not that you were running out of comebacks, they came naturally to you. But you noticed him staring at you when he thought you weren’t looking and you started to question if this really was all just a joke to him, or if this was his really weird - but effective - way of flirting. Only one way to find out, right?

The next time they entered the pub, you were one big ball of nerves. You poured two mugs of ale and brought it to their table. Kili’s face lit up when he saw you and it almost made you throw your plan out of the window. You placed the mugs in front of them, and waited for Kili to ask for his kiss. He didn’t disappoint. “So remind me again, was it one kiss per mug or one kiss per order?” “One kiss will do,” you said. 

Before your answer really got through to him, you grabbed his collar and planted your lips on his for a short, but firm kiss. You let go of him and quickly turned around to go back to the bar so you could go hide in the back room for the rest of your shift. What were you even thinking? Kili had other plans though. 

When he finally recovered, he jumped up and grabbed your wrist, spinning you around so you bumped into his chest. “Fucking finally,” he growled, and kissed you a second time. This kiss was anything but short. Kili took his time to explore and who were you to deny him? He brushed your cheek with the back of his hand, and weaved his fingers in your hair. You had to stand on your toes because he was a lot taller than you, keeping your hands on his chest for support.

A cough from Fili made you break the kiss. “Mahal,” Kili whispered, eyes wide when he pulled back. “So does this mean you accept kisses as a means of payment now?” Fili asked, getting to his feet and pouting his lips to give you a kiss. Kili pushed him back in his seat, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Don’t even think about it!”

ÉOWYN

You watched Éowyn train with her sword. She was a skilled sword-fighter, but since she was the shield maiden, they wouldn’t allow her to fight alongside men in battle. That didn’t stop her from training and improving her skills, on the contrary... It only made her train harder.

You were absolutely mesmerized by her. Her lean, but toned figure, how she handled the sword with such grace and ferocity at the same time... You were completely lost. But there was no way she would be interested in someone like you, a mere servant. And then there was also that tiny little thing about her being your best friend...

Éowyn was fierce, and often went in discussion with anyone who dared to doubt her. But when she was around you, she was soft and bubbly. You were one of the only people who had the privilege to see her smile.

One day she asked you to help with her training. You weren’t as skilled as her, so you were a bit reluctant at first. But who were you to turn down a chance to be this close to her? You noticed she was nervous. Éowyn was never nervous. Ever. What was going on in her head? The training started and you tried to make it enough of a challenge for her. Surprisingly enough you were winning, and with a last swing of your sword, you knocked her sword out of her hands. She cheered. “That calls for a victory kiss!” Wait... what?

She crossed the distance between you and silently asked for your permission. When you nodded and tried to ignore your loud heartbeat, she placed a soft kiss on your lips. “I’ve waited so long for you to do this,” you whispered. “All you had to do was ask,” she winked.

A/N: Don’t forget to reblog and comment or comment in your tags, I do read them!