#i was like 'oh megan. that TRAUMATIZED HIM as a child'

[ladysqueakinpip]

I love rise sm.... it's just genuine teenage boys being boys energy and that's what I'm about son

[allsassnoclass]

eek i know i'm late but if you're still accepting asks for the writing ask game 2, 4, 17, 24, & 30? -💙

@igarbagecannoteven ALRIGHTY MEGS!!!!! i am always accepting asks especially for ask games let's go let's go let's go!!!!!!

this got long, so under the cut!

2. Anything that you'd like to write but feel like you're unable to? there's a series that i really really want to write, but for some reason i can't quite put my finger on how to start it. i WILL write it at some point (hopefully this year!!!! i'm still hoping that the first part will come out in august!!!), but it's just been difficult getting that starting point.

4. Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them? oh DO I!!!!!!!!! so for fics I have a few, but Mason is probably my primary one right now. he's a little kid and he's cute and he likes soccer and is worried about how to make friends (but it's okay because there's this super friendly little redhead kid named oliver who decides they're friends immediately). his story is a single parent au i've been working on for a few years!

but!!!!! my main OC loves are from my original story ideas. Arima!!!!!!! is my absolute beloved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she has immense daddy issues and no living family (or so she thinks...). her best friend is some dude she rescued who immediately decides he needs to be her father figure. her other best friend is a super old priest. she's ace but also maybe kinda gay for this random girl named jo that appears. OR do you want me to talk about spencer and logan, my beloved sibling duo????????? logan can see ghosts. spencer is just trying to be a good older sister. they're both traumatized. or teddy the sweetheart vampire!!!! or patricia who plays the tuba!!!! or alvaro, the only actual normal human in their little gang!!!!! OR do you want to hear about wesley (photographer) and aiden (child) and jaycee (wacky mystery author) and pete (jaycee's handler) and gee (quite bookstore clerk) and megan (lawyer) and tara (gay) and ashely (also gay) and dana (awesome) all the people living in jack's apartment building?

arima and her gang kind of have a story, but the original plot that i had for her that i came up with in middle school was bad, so i think she's going to have a sci-fi story instead. good for her! arima is going to be the captain of a space ship even though she's 17 at best (she does not know her exact birthday), because she's just Like That. arima is my most beloved oc btw.

spencer, logan, and the supernatural crew have a kind of complicated ya supernatural adventure story. it has a lot to do with spencer and logan's mom, who we don't like, and a little to do with their dad, who we also don't like. both adults are, unfortunately, trying their best, they just really really suck in drastically different ways. thank goodness alvaro decides that spencer should be friends with him/teddy/patricia!

wesley and friends have a pretty basic, kind of slice-of-life story about found family.

17. Past or present tense? Why? present tense! and I actually can pinpoint the exact reason: when I was in 5th or 6th grade I went to this thing called the young author's conference, and one of the classes i took there had a guy who gave us his list of rules for writing engaging and interesting stories (highlights include "this is not a pen" and "slam the book"). one of them was "buzz the was" which was his way of saying avoid using passive voice. ("The dragon sat on a pile of gold" puts the readers closer to the story than "The dragon was sitting on a pile of gold.") so i use present tense so i don't use the word "was"! unfortunately now i just use passive voice in present tense, but it's something i'm working on!

24. Thoughts on flashbacks/flashforwards. i like them when they're used right! i definitely much prefer flashbacks to flashforwards, as i think flashbacks can be a great tool for adding context and i think that a lot of flash forwards are just like. 3 year in the future epilogues and those are fine but they're also very obviously just a vehicle to have an ending without having to put all that middle stuff.

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't. ooooooo ummmmm let's see. years ago I wrote a band au for the raven cycle, and i was going to do a sequel focusing on noah and the intersection of fame and mental health and privacy, but ran out of interest and motivation and now i think too many years have passed and it'd be weird to write and post it now. for 5sos stuff, maybe the malum quarantine fic? i only got 900 words into it, but lost interest and now i'm not sure i'd return to it just because there's so much to unpack with the pandemic and i'm super worried that it'd be insensitive, but if i address the whole ''thousands of people are dying every day" of it all then i know i'll turn it into a major component of the fic and the fic itself will end up being pretty angsty and heavy and deal a lot more with overwhelming fear and dread, which wasn't really the vibe i had in mind. it's also difficult because there wouldn't necessarily be a good resolution to the overwhelming fear and dread, given that we are still living through it to an extent and the comforting power of fall out boy's so much (for) stardust wouldn't be released into the world until 2023

thanks for asking :)

[playedcrowd5610]

Resurrected? -Chapter 6

he team is on a routine mission when Phantom gets blasted by one of the goons wielding experimental tech. Unable to keep his ghost form intact he transforms back into his human form. Causing the rest of his teammates to think the beam had somehow brought him back to life!

The team starts to try to protect Danny and make sure he doesn’t die again, always checking around every corner for a possible threat. How long will he last?

Wattpad: Here.      FF: Here.      Ao3:  Here.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

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OH MY GOSH, GUYS, @2000dragonarmy made this amazing fanart of Conner and annoyed Danny.

I love it so much!<3 I almost fell off my chair when I saw it, It is so amazing thank you!  You guys should check them out XD

Fanart <3

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The Mall, a place where teens hang out on a daily basis. They go shopping, hang out with their friends, and eat food at the food court. And also apparently a place where Danny needs to be shown the joys of the human world so he doesn't kill himself again, or something. Why the place of the peak of humanity is a mall Danny would have no idea.

Danny glances around at the team surrounding him as they walk towards the only mall in Happy Harbor. Conner had put him down a little after Danny's second escape attempt. He keeps carrying him around like a little kitten and it is getting on Danny's nerves.

And now it seems like they have made a protective barrier around him. Some on the sides, behind, and in front of him. Whether it was on purpose or not, it was getting really annoying.

He is not some child! Even if all the other ghosts call him that. Honestly, he is very responsible for his two-years-dead age. He has been able to fight some of the most powerful beings in the zone and won, on multiple occasions!

Others say he could probably beat Superman if he tried. But nooooooooo, his very fragile human body can keel over at any minute. For crying out loud half of this team is human! Or at the very least close to the fact. He rolled his eyes.

He just needs to figure something out. Maybe he could convince one of the ghosts to come over and 'kill' him or something. (not really, but they could make it look real enough). And he is sure there would be a bunch who would be happy to do it. But he doesn't want to traumatize his new friends and team by having him murdered in front of them.

He still doesn't even know if he could transform at this point. He is pretty sure he can, he could feel his core thrumming angrily in his chest at the prospect of being protected and not being the protector. But he still needs to check, just to be sure.

He still feels very weak after that blast, and it doesn't seem normal. Now he just needs to get away from his babysitters for one minute. That's if he could get past an entire SUPER HERO TEAM that is guarding him right now from stubbing his toe.

There was a blur next to him and an arm wrapped around his shoulders. "Come on stop moping around Phantom," Wally said.

"What am I supposed to do? I feel like you guys would get creeped out if I walked around with a bright smile on my face at this point." Danny raised an eyebrow at the speedster.

Artemis bumped his shoulder. "Come on, we are just going to hang out like we normally do, only this time it's at a mall instead of a cave."

"A very homey cave!" Megan butted in, a cheery smile on her face. "And I have only managed to convince Conner to come to the mall with me once before, so this is going to be great. And we can get you some new clothes too!"

Danny grimaced. "I'm wearing clothes already, why do I need new ones?"

"That's the same thing Conner always says." Megan pouted. "You only wore black and white before, and the clothes you are wearing don't match your eyes now. The red doesn't work."

Danny looked down at the clothes he was wearing, it was normal for his human form. His red and white T-shirt and his dark blue jeans. He raised his eyebrow up at the Martian. "But red's my favorite colour."

Robin perked up. "I thought you said it was blue?"

Danny shrugged. "It changes."

"Come on Phantom, Please just let me pick out oneeeee outfit. Only one, I promise." Megan pleaded. Danny looked at her eyes which was a mistake. How were they so big? Probably using a bit of shape-shifting or something. She probably learned the begging tactic from Wally asking for cookies.

"Fine, okay. Just one."

Wally leaned over to him clapping his hand on his shoulder. "Rest in peace man."

Danny grumbled. "That was supposed to be the plan."

Wally chuckled nervously and sped over to his best friend who was closer to the front. He wrapped his arm around Robin's shoulders. The redhead was taller than the acrobat so it was easy. He leaned down to Robin. "You think your old man would be open to adopting another kid who also has a death wish and wants to fight crime?" Danny tilted his head to the side at Wally's comment. He still had some of his enhanced hearing.

He didn't see what expression Robin made, but he kind of shrugged. "I doubt it, I think I was a one-time only thing. B's not much of a kid person. I would be very surprised to see him adopt another one."

"But he looks just like you. Black hair blue eyes."

Robin tilted his head up to Wally. "What would that have to do with anything?"

The speedster waved him off. "Ah fine. I'll figure something else out then. Maybe I can talk to uncle Bary." He put his hand on his chin.

"What? You trying to get him adopted or something?"

Wally threw his hand to the side. "Someone needs to take care of our baby."

Danny ran his hand down his face with a groan.

---

Notes

Beta read by: BrokenBlueHeart

Head cannon, Danny Fenton's favorite colour is Red while Phantom's favorite colour is blue. They don't know why, it's just a slight personality difference.

Thank you all so much for all of your amazing comments on this story, you guys give me so much inspiration and I am always so overjoyed when I read your thoughts on this story! If there are any scenarios that you want to see in the future please comment them! I was stuck with some writer's block for this that's why it took so long to update. I love ya’ll :3

I also hope I didn't get anyone too out of character but we will see, I was kinda having an off time with Megan. But then again this is supposed to be a crack fic, So...

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Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

[everythingblreview]

Slow Damage review 2.0 Part 2

Fujieda Towa’s route (True route)

I said before that Fujieda’s route is my favourite and the reason why is simple, because this route is actually Towa’s route, and Towa was for me, always the most interesting character in this game. The god endings of the other routes never left me satisfied, something always felt wrong.

Like it normal in bl games the other 3 routes were focused on the love interested, but this was different. From the beginning Towa was always different compared to other bl protagonist, and it was easy to tell that he had suffer some kind of a trauma. The Towa we met in the beginning is a broken person, he is not interested in other people, he doesn’t care when or if he dies, he lets himself get violated and raped (which he apparently “likes”) and he is not interested in any form of love. From the beginning on I wanted to know the reason for it and the reality of it was a lot darker than I could have ever imagine.

(For this review I’m going to summaries the route and write my opinion while I go on)

 The route starts out completely different, Towa “killed” someone the first time using [euphoria], and this changes the flow of the story (chapter 0)

Towa gets a package with things that are connected to his past. Looking at it Towa health condition imminently gets bed, his way of dealing with it is like always, getting violated and raped by guys. Some short time later we learn that Taku knows something about Towa past that he won’t tell, even going as far as to burn his mail so Towa doesn’t look into it future (Not really nice of you Taku). Towa feels really lost in this moment, because he can’t trust his friends and his nightmares he always has, get worse to the point he is scared of them.

In these hard times he first meets Fujieda for the first time. At first neither Fujieda or Towa trust each other, for Towa he and Fujieda live in completely different worlds, but after Towa finds out that Fujieda has information that could have a connection to his past, the two of them decide to work together. (It interesting that Fujieda still doesn’t trust Towa at this point while Towa does, he also acts like a very serious person like you imagine a megane to be but I find it funny that he never used polite language with Towa while he does it with anyone else) Anyway Towa mentions that he can’t read Fujieda at all, because his smoke is completely white (something Towa never seen before) and doesn’t show any kind of distortion.

The two then proceed to do more research about Towa’s past and at some point the end up in Fujieda’s apartment because of heavy rainfall after being chased and nearly shot. Here we learn that Fujieda is maybe not that all different from Towa because his body is also full of scars like Towa’s.

For Towa it changes everything, because he never seen someone with a body like his, and for the first time he begins to show interested in Fujieda and his secrets. (We also learn that Fujieda is not a real megane, and a total hottie) After they watch some TV show involving a red room Towa remembers his nightmare (the one he always has about a dark red room) and decides to talk to Fujieda about his nightmare. (At this point you can see that he trust Fujieda enough to talk about his nightmares)

Later they return to the clinic and here we see Taku being called out by Fujieda, for keeping the things he knows a secret even though he knows that Towa is suffering. (Finally, someone that acknowledge that Towa is suffering from his current lifestyle, it was always hard to see them just ignoring the horrible stuff Towa does to himself), after some discussion Taku tells them Towa’s real name (yes his name is fake btw), hearing it triggers Towa so much that he passes out (imagine how traumatized one must be to pass out only by hearing his real name).

The next day they find out from a woman that worked with Towa’s mother in the past, that she was involved in some dark business involving child traffic and that the child Fujieda is looking for was a victim of it and was killed in the process. (Later we learn the „sister“ that Towa thought he had, was this girl and actually the sister of Fujieda) This information breaks Fujieda, who was looking all his life for his sister, after her mother sold her, and he completely flips and attacks Towa after they meet in the park again, even going as far as choking and raping him. Which only amuses Towa who is used to it (and wants that kind of treatment).

(Honestly I was not really happy that they included rape, while I understand that Fujieda doesn’t get at this point yet that Towa was also a victim and that he is devastated because his sister, he has been searching for was dead all along, was it really necessary to include rape? The only thing I can say what was not all too bad about it, is that we saw that he is also not a perfect human being and makes mistakes too. Still there was no need to include rape, beating Towa would have been enough but I guess this is a bl game after all …)

Anyway, here we see for the first time that Fujis smoke is changing and is now turning pink/red (whatever you call it).

Some stuff happened, Fujieda’s office get attacked, Towa finds a picture in it after sneaking into it, of the girl (and please look at baby fuji), Fujieda is looking for and he gets a headache from it again. After he meets Fuji (Fuji tells Towa that he will not apologise for his doings and I was not really happy with that statement and only forgive him because I know that he is not that kind of a person and he regrets it, [will explain more later on], also please notice that Fujieda’s smoke is now a pastel pink colour) and they decide to continue to work together. (Towa likes that this is relationship is only based on cooperation without any feelings involved oh honey you got a big storm coming)

The next day, Taku gets kidnapped by Madarme all of the love interested meet up in the deathmatch area, Madarame who is here of course to fuck shit up, fights Fuji for whatever reason, which is not really to Towa’s liking because Madarame is overpowered, so he tries to protect Fuji and gets hit in the process. (look at Towa trying to protect his future boyfriend) Madarame loses all interested, tells Towa he changed and leaves into the sunset to be never seen again, but not before telling Towa that if he want to know about his past he should look in that western style mansion he shows him (this scene annoyed me because Madarame tells Towa that he “changed” but he is not that all different from Towa in Madarame’s route the only difference is that Madarame could not manipulated Towa into thinking he is like he was in the past) After that Fuji and Towa decide to visit the western style mansion, where Towa finally remembers his past, that he was treated as a tool by his mother and sold to customers that did all the horrible things to a child no one even wants to think about, and Fujiedas sister was with him at the time, and she was the one that tried to help him and they tried to escape together but failed, which led to her getting killed. Remembering his past really broke Towa, because his reason to stay alive was his wish to see and draw the desire of people, but it turns out that this was all manipulation by his mother and that he had been doing the same horrible stuff she done (fulfil the desire of disgusting people, that abuse children) without even knowing it and he, for the first time in his life feels guilty because the girl that was helped him and was his only light in the dark please was dead while he is still alive. He wishes that she was alive instead of him. (You can see how much Towa liked her, probably the first person Towa had strong feelings for, she is the one that helped him in this horrible time. Towa was a really quiet kid, and he never went against his mother but she was the reason he tried to break free from her chains). After he understands he goes out trying to completely distract himself like he always does by getting raped and violated. (This scene was so horrible I could barely deal with it)

Towa’s mind works completely different how a healthy person would react. He was abused as a child and the only thing he could do was to accept it, after he lost his memory he stills to continue to get abused because it’s the only thing he know, it’s his way to deal with his trauma, by repeat it again and again. From the beginning he tells us that he doesn’t want love, he only wants to be treated as a tool, because this is what was always done to him, his love for violence is not real, it’s only a reflection of the abuse he went through. He has no desire to use violence on others, he only wants it for himself. (I really like the writing in the parts where Towa got violated because while Towa himself sells us that he likes it, the writing makes it sounds like deep down he actually doesn’t like it) A big part of his personality is not real, it something made up but his mother and the question is who is the real Towa, what makes Towa, Towa? This is something he probably wonders himself in the moment. And since he was confronted with his past, his way of dealing of it, does not work anymore and the only thing that could satisfy his desire is… death. (From the beginning of the game I always had a feeling that at some point, he will break at will try to kill himself, and sadly it came true. The scene is probably saddest in the game because you can really feel how he reached an end, nothing is holding him back anymore, he is all calm when he is confronted with idea of dying…luckily never happens because in the moments Fujieda burst in the room.

(He is the only person who could save Towa in this moment) Fujieda tells him that he should not throw his life away because this isn’t something his sister wanted, who tried to protect Towa and that her last wish before being killed was for Towa to live. He also tells Towa that he was attracted to him from the beginning, but he was scared because he knew that he and Towa where the same but he didn’t want to admit it because it would mean admitting his existence is miserable like Towa’s, but he just could not leave Towa alone. (This confession)

After making sure Towa is not trying to die anymore, he put him in the bath, because Towa tried to light himself on fire using oil on himself and he is all beaten up from before. (I like how atmosphere changes here, the music changes the room gets brighter, you can really feel like the heavy weight is lifted from them).

Fujieda washes Towa hair and talks about the time he did with his sister  (you can really feel that Towa already became an important person to him already) he treats him very gentle and asked him if anything hurts, and gets really angry when he says the “traces” left by the men that raped him, and tells him not to do it anymore (finally someone said it) after Fuji tries to wash Towa’s body, Towa pulls him close and asks him to show him his scars, and he does (this scene is really beautiful because they standing facing each other naked bodies covered in scars, like a mirror) and Towa touches his scars and say they are the same, (like he finally found someone that he can related to, he also looks very vulnerable in this scene) after looking at his scars, he just kissed him, not even knowing why. Lucky for him Fujieda returns his kiss and this leads to them having a passionate moment on Towa bed. (Normally I don’t talk about the sexy times on in my reviews, because it’s more of a fanservice moment in games, but here it’s different)

Normally Towa only goes for violence during sex and doesn’t like gentleness (because he feels nothing), but with Fujieda who has sex skills over 9000 it was the first time that gentleness felt good to him, (Probably because it was the first time, he did it with someone he is attracted to) he also never experienced painless sex and doesn’t even know it can feel good and was really surprised by this unknow feeling. I also like that they keep on kissing each other’s scars, like they wanted to comfort each other (even though Fujieda didn’t like Towa doing it because he, unlike Towa, hates his scars). The scene is really focused on what they are feeling rather than just the actual act itself, and it’s just really wholesome and cute.

After they are done the sit awkwardly on the bed, thinking about what they just did (They sure didn’t expect it to happen, but the moment was right and they just let their feeling go).  Fuji asked him about his love for scares, because he himself can’t understand it, he also asked if it felt good for Towa lmao no confident in his over 9000 sex skills, Towa tells him that it was the first time he felt like that and that it scared him, but it also felt extremely good. (Love a honest man) After that he tells Towa about his past that he and his sister were abused by their parents and his sister later sold by their mother, and Fujieda did everything to search for her. He worked as host in the beginning, earning enough money from his rich costumers to study (he basically was a male prostitute) and later become a lawyer. That’s why they he understands Towa so well because they share the same horrible past and are directly linked to each other by his sister. Also Fujieda’s name is fake like Towa his real name is Yuzuki Minato(first name) Fujieda also suggest for them to support each other rather than licking each other wounds (so it doesn’t sounds like they are just using each other), and when Towa asks him if he want to have this kind of relationship with him he gets all blushy. (Look at him who would have thought that behind this serous looking guy is a gently but very shy man).

Important thing to notice here is, that Fujieda’s smoke changed after this scene and is now completely pink/red and it’s the exact colour that Towa has, Towa also tells him that he can see smoke of people in this scene (I loved how they include this colour transformation, the more his smoke got pink/red the more we saw his real personality, and that his and Towa colour is the same, it’s like they are fated to be). They agree to start this kind of relationship and Towa gives him a little kiss to seal this promise. (Btw Towa always initiates everything, all their kisses and even the sex, Fujieda stop being shy)

The next day Taku asks Towa if he eat something delicious, because his face that looks dead normally, now has colour to it (thanks Taku, he had the best food you can have:love and affection), later on they decide to look for the person, who sent Towa the package and Towa ends up with Rei at Sakakis apartment, where Towa gets kidnapped by Sakaki and Eiji (never trusted him). They bring him back to the mansion, where Towa was abused by his mother, and Sakaki (who is a big piece of trash and adores his trash mother) tortures him by playing his mother voice recording, telling him because he killed his mother, he has to become his mother now. Apparently, Towa pushed her down the stairs, after she attacked him with a knife because he tried to escape with Fujieda’s sister. (I really like how small Towa who never went against his mother, for the first time in his life went against her, you can really see how much influence Fujieda’s sister had on him, even breaking him free from the chains of his mother. And that Fujieda and his sister both had an important role in Towa’s life) Before something can happened Fujieda shows up (our hero) to save Towa, the situation escalates and Fujieda ends up fighting Sakaki, who pulled out a gun try to shoot him.  I loved how Towa, who normally never cares for people tries everything even though his hand are tied up, to protect Fujieda from being shot, you can really see how important he is now to Towa). The scene ends and with Towa acting like his mother tricking Sakaki (he got this idea from Fuji, who he can understand perfectly now even without a lot of communication) and Sakaki falling down the stairs to his death (yay happy end <3). Towa and Fujieda can finally both go home and get treated because they both got shot. Some days later they went back to the mansion, after getting a hint from Eiji, to look for his mother diary (some pages of the diary were sent to Towa). Here we find out Towa birthday (he didn’t know it himself) and that his mother did love him but she was a monster that could not control her horrible desire and that she always felt alone, after reading it Towa end up crying (this poor child) and Fujieda hold him to comfort him. Credit roll

Fast forward half a year later, Towa now lives with Fujieda (yay happy husband life) because he now helps Fujieda with work so they decide that living together would be better and totally not because they are interested in each other of course, also Fujieda is a bad cook, so bad that he even burns scrambled egg (lol). Towa also stops painting after completing Fujieda’s painting, but Fujieda, who is a supportive and loving boyfriend, encourages him to draw more, because his painting will be now free from his mother influence. Towa also ends up losing his ability to see the smoke of people and the colour that he always saw in his vision are also gone (so the colour was always something his mental state projected and not real) Around a month later the visit the beach together because they never went to the beach, and Fujieda tell him since both of their childhood were so horrible they never had such experience and now he want them to experience it together (asdfd why is this so cute) he also accidentally ends up implying that they are married but doesn’t understand it of course because he is a social awkward person and his way of speaking too hard lol. Anyways it ends with them playing in the water and plashing water at each other faces like small children. Still not the end, in the last scene Towa (with his husband of course) visits the shop of the grandma (best side character btw), who sells snacks. And there is this one painting that for Towa was always a black canvas, but it all colourful now. Turns out this painting was bought by his mother for him, and it inspired him to start drawing and all the time he could not see it. He wonders if the sky is such a colour and that he sees the true colour of it now, and most important, for the first time in his life he really feel alive. The end

At this point I was really crying, imagine how horrible your life must be if you never even felt like you were alive, this end scene really shows the greatness of the game, because here you finally understand what you just saw and how great this experience was (at least for me it was like that). I love this scene so much.

When you play the game the first time, after this last scene and the credit roll the room in the start menu that always been dark will turn completely bright like it tells you that Towa is finally free from the darkness. There are more metaphors with darkness and brightness in the game I noticed, Towa’s room is dark in the beginning, and he never opens his windows, but guess who does in one scene, Fujieda. Opening the windows bringing change in the room, also everything in Fujieda’s apartment is dark or just black, his windows are shut with black curtains, but we see in the end when they stared living together that their home is bright with white furniture and big open windows. And one more thing I notice, the credit roll has a black background but in the true route it’s white. I really like it that they made it like this.

Next up for the character analysis

We know a big part of Towa’s personality is an influence by his mother or something made from his trauma, but what part is the real Towa we see? And I want to talk about the part what make Towa such a great character not involving his trauma. A big part why I like him has to do (and I noticed it even more in the replay) with him being extremely smart. He has that what other protags are missing: a brain. I loved how smart he was, there is no scene in the game where I would say he acts dumb, he knows what he is doing. In Rei’s route he knew something was wrong with Mizuno, and he even tricked him into revealing his true self. In the first chapter he knew that Ikuina sent him the flower, in Takus route he knew that he was kidnapped to blackmail Taku, and what to do to get out of the situation. In the true route after he remembered his past, he understands instantly that he was manipulated by his mother. I really respect him for it. Another part I like about him is that he is honest, he is not a tsundere, he will always say his honest opinion, he also has no shame and no problem with admitting he likes and wants sex. Even when he has a problem with liking people, he does cares about the one that are close to him in his own way. Also, he is a fun person and likes to make jokes with his friends. Because of his trauma he has no understanding the feeling of “love” and “like” and almost never says he likes something (he only ever said he likes scars), him actually starting a relationship with people only worked because it was always someone that has been close to him a long time. (In Fujieda’s case it was because their similarities, because of that they could understand better than anyone else from the love interests, and their past is connected through Fujieda’s sister, so they are indirectly linked from the beginning). Unexpectedly he can be really cute sometimes, I didn’t expect him to blush at all but he did. From the beginning you may not think it, but Towa is a really calm person. He never screams, never curses, he avoid fights and is not extremely social, still he does seems to enjoy hanging out with his friends. He is a great artist and I enjoyed his paintings.

One last thing I really like about Towa and what differentiates him from a lot of other protagonists, he acts and feels like an adult. Compared to N+C last main character Aoba who is still very childish, Towa does not feel like a child at all, giving him a totally different atmosphere.  

Fujiedas personality is not that all different to Towa, they are similar any many ways and it’s a reason why they work together. It’s funny how they tried to make him look like he is the serious megane even introducing him as someone who looks down on Towa and you really think in the beginning, he is liked that, but he is completely different. He is a hardworking person that doesn’t like to lose and sometimes comes of a little hard in the way he speaks, but in reality, he is just a very social awkward person with trust issues. From his backstory we can assume he probably didn’t have anyone that was close to him beside his sister like in no friends, and that since he has this trust issue he never let anyone near his heart. He is just not used to talking open with someone and this shows in the way he speaks and if really funny sometimes, he is also a little shy because of it. I love how gentle and caring he is after he finally opened up to Towa. Like Towa, he is honest person and also doesn’t understand the feeling of love I read that some people say that Fujieda feels like a side character and the story would work without him, I completely disagree with it. The feeling of him of a side character comes from the fact that people are just not used for the story to focus on the main character of the game and is always dealing with the problem of the love interest, but here it’s focused on Towa also on Fujieda but Fujieda’s only problem in life is his missing sister, nothing else is there to “fix” about him. In the first place the story was always about Towa, in the routes before you could reach happiness for the other characters and not Towa but this time everything is focused on Towa’s happiness. Because there is so much story in the true route the part where it’s focused on the relationship between them is short. The most important part is the before and after sex talk if you really want to understand their relationship.

The true route would also never work with the other characters, it only works because of Fujieda. He is the main key for the story and for Towa. He is someone Towa can relate to, he understands Towa and Towa understand him, no one else can related to Towa on this level. He pushes Towa to go forward and calls all the other out for not helping Towa, he is the support Towa needs in his life to get over his past, without him everything would fall apart in this route. The theme of the route is “equal”, and it fits them so well because they are always equal, no matter what they do. There is no one that is standing about the other, no top/bottom dynamic, they always do everything to be equal to each other. They have the perfect healthy relationship. Important to mention here is that we may thing Fujieda saved Towa, but Towa also saved Fujieda, fitting their theme. If you replay the game, there is a scene in the beginning where Fujieda tell that for him this world is nothing more than hell for him, and Towa frees him from it.

Last I would like to say that I like how the hinted at the story from the beginning on in every route (which you don’t notice the first time you play it) like with Towa’s nightmare and how he always felt drawn to children but he didn’t know why and that every aspect of the routes connected in the end. I really like games that keep the secret of the story hidden until the end, (some may say that it’s stupid that only the true route had it but that’s the point of a true route) and while all other pairings are also canon, I’m glad that they are the true pairing and the true end of the game. For me there is no better happy end I could have wished for.

[softscummymammon]

🖊🖊🖊

Okay, so, Zala Mēkā. I just put a name to him, but I have had his character in my mind for a while. Since you asked 3 pens, I'll just have to give a little extra information about him!

So, Zala was afab, but soon transitioned to his more comfortable gender as male. Please be respecting of him.

Zala takes place within the Young Justice universe. He first was kidnapped off the streets of Boston and taken by a group of American Government scientists testing out glyphs they stole off of Raven. They experimented on him their from the age of 8 to 17. When a massive storm hit the compound, he broke out and killed all the people working in that facility.

The young justice team was sent out to capture the anomaly that caused the disturbance. They came face to face with a shadow wielder, scared and traumatized child.

Connor Kent was the only person on the team willing to give Zala a chance since he could empathize Zala's upbringing. Zala did not like Megan, it was just a gut feeling and a roiling within his bones.

His favorite spot was the beach shore along the mountain the team hid within. When the time of dusk came around, he would always walk along the shore and in the water.

His favorite song is: Glass Animals- Deja vu.

Highlights and Incorrect Quotes

"What do you mean I can't eat it? It looks edible enough. "

"Is the sun in your eyes? " *makes a shadow umbrella* "Is that better? "

"What song am I listening to?! " "What? I'm being too loud? Sucks to suck, huh!? "

"This tastes weird. " "Oh, it's a prop? That explains it. "

"You really don't want to know what an angry shadow demon child can do. "

Zala first came out to Connor, who was admittedly a little under informed what the LGBTQ community was in general. That was an awkward conversation. He then came out to Batman, since that seemed like the most reasonable thing to do. Batman immediately supported him, which surprised him.

Batman was his way to get binders, starting T, and finally getting enough money for top surgery. Surprisingly, Zala also became friends with Flash and Captain Marvel.

Zala gets nightmares, so the team made his room as comfortable as they could. It was Artemis's idea to put glow in the dark stars on his ceiling, Zala loves them. It was Robin's idea to get him a lava lamp.

All in all, it was a rough patch to begin with, but he integrated into the team quite nicely afterwards.

[shadow-of-a-whisper]

A Brief Overview Of “The Sentinel (TV)”

Jim was raised by a strict, workaholic, divorced dad (mom wanted nothing to do with her kids) who pitted him against his younger brother for their entire childhoods, until Jim was old enough to run away to the nearest Army recruitment office. Dear old dad’s A+ parenting also involved making Jim feel like a freak (seriously, he used that exact word, to his recently traumatised 10-year-old child’s face) for using and talking about having the Sentinel abilities he was born with. Jim ended up suppressing his abilities so hard that he completely forgot he even had them. He has SO MANY trust and control issues as a result of his upbringing. Seriously, SO. FREAKING, MANY. His fear of abandonment in particular can probably be spotted from space. He fairly quickly made his way up to Captain in the Rangers, Spec Ops, until a mission went south and he got stranded in Peru for 18 months. His entire unit died in the helicopter crash. During that time he lived with the native Chopec tribe, and his dormant Sentinel abilities came back online. Basically, all five of his senses are extremely heightened. Think Daredevil on steroids, only not blind. Incacha, the local Shaman, acted as his interim Guide. The Guide helps the Sentinel focus, process overwhelming sensory information, and not go insane. He’s a buffer, a guardian, a grounding presence. When a Sentinel hyper-focuses on a single stimulus to the exclusion of all else (a zone-out), the Guide calls them back. When a sensory spike incapacitates the Sentinel, it’s the Guide who figures out what caused it, and helps the Sentinel overcome it until the agony passes. Jim was later rescued and returned to civilization; his abilities went dormant again, and he became a detective with Major Crimes in Cascade, Washington. A few years later, during a weeklong stakeout in the woods, (aka a period of traumatic isolation), his abilities came online again. They started driving him nuts and endangering his life, until he meets Blair Sandburg.

Blair is a genius anthropologist with Rainier University, a former prodigy and world traveller, who has been studying historical records of Sentinels and wanting to meet one his whole life. He becomes Jim's partner, studies and experiments with him, to control and improve Jim's senses, while writing his doctoral dissertation on him. Essentially, he’s Jim’s Guide.

Jim's Sentinel abilities are a big secret. Only Simon, his best friend and police Captain, knows about them and why Jim needs Blair. It turns Blair's dissertation into a bone of contention between them. Naomi, Blair’s flakey hippy mom, sent his unfinished diss to a publisher (read: unscrupulous ex) for proof-reading. Predictably, he proceeded to throw obscene amounts of money at Blair for the publishing rights, and then leaked excerpts to the press when Blair still said NO. Blair tried to fix everything by holding a press conference calling himself a fraud, amongst other things. Jim was all but moved to tears.

The mysticism is a really fun angle that gets terribly underutilized by the canon in the last season. In the first 3 seasons, Jim has multiple visions of a blue jungle (the spirit world), his panther animal guide, Blair's silver wolf spirit guide, and Incacha (who dies at one point). There's also a scene where Blair is recently but very much dead (due to drowning), EMTs have written him off, and Jim uses his panther to fuse with the wolf and bring Blair back. He then turns chickenshit, and refuses to talk about it for the remaining episodes.

It's hilarious, the boys take turns dating a new woman every episode. It's never the same woman for longer than that one episode though. They live together, go on vacations together, work together, voluntarily follow each other on dangerous unsanctioned rescue missions... it's actually a lot like Hawaii 5-0. I think my favourite part was where Blair jumped out of a plane (with a parachute) for Jim, and you much later find out that he's terrified of heights. But no-homo, because 'reasons'. Riiiiiiight. I guess that's the early 90s for you. I'm still bitter.

Megan is an Australian Detective in Cascade on an exchange programme who calls Blair 'Sandy', and is good friends with him. She accidentally finds out about Jim being a Sentinel in the last season. 'The bitch', as I refer to her, was an evil Sentinel, and Blair was temporarily murdered by her via drowning in a fountain on campus. After that they all chased her to Mexico, where Jim inexplicably made out with her on a beach, and the bitch later fried her brain on a home-brewed potion inside a hidden ancient Sentinel temple. It was a wild episode. Oh, and there’s a street drug called ‘Golden’ in the canon universe. It makes users hallucinate, and see pretty gold lights. Jim accidentally got trace amounts on his fingers, and it made him temporarily blind. All he could see was a lot of gold light and a few vague shadows. He had to do the Matt Murdock thing for an episode, and was hilariously awful at it. Blair was tricked into a near-lethal overdose.

[poemsforpersephone]

The third and final book rec list for fans of The Last Sun!

The Infinite Noise by Lauren Shippen has really cool empathy powers which, although not the two way bond Brand and Rune share, does remind me of the emotion reading aspect in TLS. The m/m relationship in it is also super sweet. 

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzie Lee. This one I’m recommending because the protagonist is a snarky asshole just like Rune, and the writing style is so well done. It’s m/m and genuinely such a fun and quirky book. Also the cover art is gorgeous!

Silver in the wood by Emily Tesh. This is an LGBT novella where a wild man called Tobias lives in a place called “Greenhollow,” , where, and I quote, “Old secrets better left buried are dug up, and Tobias is forced to reckon with his troubled past—both the green magic of the woods, and the dark things that rest in its heart.” So im recommending this one simply because of the involvement of secrets and troubled pasts haha. 

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. The front cover of this one gives me The Hanged Man vibes like, all the way to the bone, which is initially what prompted me to rec it on this list. But also: “Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead bullshit.” Idk about the dirty magazines but the rest of it scREAMS Rune. and the main character is a lesbian!!! yay!! 

The Black Veins by Ashia Monet. “In a world where magic thrives in secret city corners, a group of magicians embark on a road trip—and it’s the "no-love-interest", found family adventure you’ve been searching for.” It’s like someone looked into my heart and picked out my deepest desire and then wrote it and gave it life. This book is super diverse and super awesome. 

The Deathless Girls by Kiran Millwood Hargrave is a f/f take on Dracula basically. I’m recommending it because the main character and her sister go through a traumatic event similar to the loss of the sun court, when men come and burn their home to the ground along with their people and they’re captured and taken as slaves. It’s about family, friendship and survival, and it’s beautiful. 

The Never Tilting World by Rin Chupeco. An LGBT book where climate change deniers are the villains? ... you have my atttention. 

Prosper’s Demon by K.J. Parker. This is about a morally questionable exorcist!  It’s a satirical, interesting take on the topic of possession with a kick ass cover. 

The Wishing Heart by J.C Welker. An LGBT fantasy novel where our protag, Rebel, finds a jinni’s vessel and is thus thrust into a whole new world of trying to keep said jinni from everyone else and find a way to free her! The world building is awesome and so are the characters.

Tarnished are the Stars by Rosiee Thor. “A secret beats inside Anna Thatcher's chest: an illegal clockwork heart. Anna works cog by cog -- donning the moniker Technician -- to supply black market medical technology to the sick and injured, against the Commissioner's tyrannical laws.” i have the hardbook version of this and the cover??? is so?? beautiful.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum. TALKING OF PRETTY COVERS. “Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends.”

Predatory by Brooklyn Ray. WERELEOPARDS FRIENDS!!!! god damn wereleopards im?? so happy. m/m 

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta. FOUND FAMILY QUEER WITCHES. need i say more. 

Portraits of a Faerie Queen by Tay LaRoi. The fey run amok in this one! f/f with a gorgeous front cover.

Unbroken by Brooklyn Ray. step 1: rent haunted house. step 2: fall in love with witch-turned-demon who inhabits it. step 3: profit???

The High King’s Golden Tongue by Megan Derr. This one is lovely! Nice world building with an emphasis on languages and kingdoms, and a lovely m/m romance that builds from kind-of-enemies-but-not-really to lovers. the audiobook of this is great. 

Salt Magic, Skin Magic by Lee Welch. SORRY YOUR BOOK IS SET WHERE? MY HOMELAND? MY COUNTRY MY COUNTY MY HEART? we never get any attention imma go cry in the corner. its a historical fantasy m/m romance in YORKSHIRE gosh im here for it. And let me tell you... this is one fantastic book. I really, really enjoyed it.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner. fantasy, m/m, lotsa swords!

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst. f/f fantasy with a princess who has fire magic in a kingdom where magic is forbidden! 

Freedom’s Fate by Jennie Taylor. SPAAAAAAACE i love books in space.

Pegasi and Prefects by Eleanor Beresford. “Charley's final year at Fernleigh Manor is complicated by a runaway pegasus, unwanted Games Captainship, a dangerous new rival and, most of all, falling head over heels in love with another girl. What is a reluctant Senior Prefect to do?” catch me while i swoon.

The Necromancers Dance by SJ Himes. m/m vampire/necromancer romance, urban magic and fantasy, very fun and smooth read, a little bit insta love but not totally. 

The Star Host by F.T. Lukens. “Ren grew up listening to his mother tell stories about the Star Hosts – a mythical group of people possessed by the power of the stars.” a m/m fantasy book set to a sci fi fantasy background.

Empty Vessels by Nicholas Williams. “Lucas Mahler babysits clones all day, but he's trapped under the legacy of his body-builder father and his genius girlfriend. When Lucas tries to rise above, he's murdered. Waking up in the body of a clone, Lucas embarks on a mystery full of blood, old friends and lost loves.” idk the whole clone thing in this just always reminds me of lord tower making all the different fake versions of people he knows lmao. 

BOOKS NOT YET OUT

So, the thing is. 2020 is very close friends, and some awesome books are even closer. These below are books I’ve not read yet, since they’re not out and I am a poor ARCless girl, but they’re books you definitely want to keep an eye on.

Witches of Ash and Ruin by E. Latimer. Bisexual OCD protagonist who is a witch D: its everything i could want. 

Wild Sky by Zaya Feli. LGBT fantasy with dragons! It sounds so, so fun.

Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust. “A captivating and utterly original fairy tale about a girl cursed to be poisonous to the touch, and who discovers what power might lie in such a curse...”

The Fascinators by Andrew Eliopulos. “The Raven Boys meets Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, about an openly gay high school senior in small-town Georgia.” m/m fantasy which looks super sweet.

Cemetery Boys by Auden Thomas. “Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can’t get rid of him.” THIS SOUNDS SO COOL oh my god. Yes PLEASE. 

When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey. “A sly, witchy dark comedy about four teens whose magic goes wildly awry.” Magic, darkness, comedy, what’s not to love for fans of the tarot sequence??

The Extraordinaries by T.J. Klune. I absolutely love T.J.  Klune’s writing so I can’t wait to get my hands on this. m/m superheros!! friends!!! get excited!! I think anyone who likes how witty K.D. is will enjoy this writing style. 

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune. YES ANOTHER ONE this looks so good too we are BLESSED. “A magical island. A dangerous task. A burning secret.”

Fragile Remedy by Maria Ingrande Mora. “Sixteen-year-old Nate is a GEM—Genetically Engineered Medi-tissue created by the scientists of Gathos City as a cure for the elite from the fatal lung rot ravaging the population. As a child, he was smuggled out of the laboratory where he was held captive and into the Withers—a quarantined, lawless region.” The idea of the Withers kind of reminds me of the westlands.

The Fell of Dark by Caleb Roehrig. UHM im always here for lgbt vampires in young adult fantasy fiction. The author says that “this book is gay and filled with monsters” which also fits the last sun so i figured it belongs on the list lmao. 

Ruinsong by Julia Ember. “In a world where magic is sung, a powerful mage named Cadence is forced to use her power to torture her country’s disgraced nobility at her ruthless queen’s bidding.”

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 56e

"Leave me alone!" Peter screamed as he pulled himself free of his dad's grasp. "Mum is gunna die and it's all your fault!"

“I know you’re upset and angry.” Charlie replied, “You can blame me all you want.”

"Good, coz I do!" Peter ran off again.

Charlie followed him, “Come back. You can’t stay out here on your own!”

"I'm old enough to do what I like."

“You’re still a child.” Charlie sighed, “Your mum wanted another baby, Peter. It was me who didn’t at first.”

"Yeh, blame her! Everyone always blames her."

“I am not blaming your mum! I blame me, ok? Me!!” Charlie sighed sadly.

"If she dies I'll never forgive you!" Peter shouted as he turned to run again. Not looking where he was going he tripped over a low wall and went flying, rolling towards the main road.

He came so close to being hit by a car but Charlie managed to stop him from being hit again. This time, Charlie wouldn’t let Peter go even though he was fighting against him.

Peter momentarily stopped struggling as he noticed a smear of blood on his sleeve from where he'd scraped his arm as he fell. He froze briefly until suddenly the memories of earlier came flooding back and he began to shake uncontrollably.

Charlie noticed the way Peter reacted and sighed sadly. He’d been through such a traumatic experience - it was traumatic for Charlie, never mind his fifteen year old son. “Son, it’s alright.” He reassured.

The driver of the car who had narrowly missed them had stopped and gotten out. "Oh my gosh, is he OK? I swerved as best I could but he came out of nowhere! I thought I'd missed him." She babbled frantically.

Charlie smiled reassuringly to the woman driver, “It’s fine, it’s ok. You didn’t hurt him. He’s— he’s got a lot on his mind at the minute.”

"Do you want me to go get someone to help?" She asked.

“No, no we’ll be ok thank you.”

"If you're sure?"

"Absolutely." Charlie confirmed.

The lady nodded and got back in her car.

Peter stopped shaking and lay blinking slowly in confusion at his dad.

Charlie touched Peter’s cheek, “Did you have a flashback?”

"I don't know. There was blood and screaming." Peter mumbled.

Charlie kissed Peter's forehead. “Sounds like you had a flashback.”

"Please say she won't die!" Peter begged softly.

“I wish I could son but I can’t tell you something I don’t know.”

Peter hissed in pain as he lent on his arm to get up.

Charlie helped him up of the floor. “Let’s go back to the hospital so I can check your arm? Then maybe we can see your mum together?”

Peter nodded, his anger having disapated once more into fear and confusion.

The journey back to the hospital was mostly silent until Charlie said gently, “When you’re angry, I want you to come to me ok? Shout at me. I won’t mind, ok?”

"I don't like feeling angry." Peter mumbled.

“Its not a nice feeling but it’s a perfectly natural emotion.” Charlie reassured.

"Anger hurts people though."

“It depends what you do with the anger. I get angry with your mum but I don’t ever hurt her. And she gets angry with me too. Ask Auntie Megan about your mum’s famous temper. She’ll have a few stories to tell.”

"I will." Peter replied, a small smile forming on his face.

“You’re allowed to be angry Peter. There’s always choices of what to do with that anger.” Charlie smiled, “You’re a bright lad. You’ll know what’s right and what’s wrong.”

They walked back into the department. "You won't tell mum how I hurt my arm will you?" Peter asked.

“No I won’t.” Charlie smiled. He cleaned up Peter’s arm, it needed steri-strips on the small gash but other than that, it wasn’t too bad. They went back to see the baby and all three of them, went to see Duffy in the intensive care unit.

Peter hesitated as they reached the door to Duffy's room.

“I’m just as nervous as you are.” Charlie said gently, the baby in his arms.

"I want to see her but..." Peter swallowed. "I'm scared." He added in a whisper.

“It’s going to be scary. I’m scared too. But we’ve got each other.”

Peter nodded and followed his dad through the door.

With the baby in one arm, Charlie squeezed Peter’s hand.

Peter's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his mum surrounded by so many wires and machines. When he'd previously seen his mum in hospital it had been after she'd been moved to a general ward so although he knew she'd been seriously ill in the past he'd never seen the full extent of things til now.

“If you want to go back to my office, you can.” Charlie squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"No. Can she hear us? Does she know we're here?"

“Your mum can hear us.” Charlie smiled, “Why don’t you talk to her?”

"What should I say?"

“Anything, you can talk to your mum about anything.”

"OK. Um... You were right. The baby was a boy. He's way bigger than the girls were. Um..." Peter looked up at his dad.

“You can hold her hand.”

Peter reached out to do as instructed. He quickly flinched back.

“What’s wrong?”

"Her hand is cold."

“Your mum��s always got cold hands.”

"Yeh. It's been a while since..." Peter's voice trailed off, he looked a little ashamed.

“It’s been a while since what?” Charlie encouraged.

"I'm a bit old to be holding my mum's hand any more." Peter shrugged.

“Usually yes, but in this situation, you can hold your mum’s hand.” Charlie smiled, “Your mum’s hands are always cold. She places them on my body every morning!”

"Urgh, dad!" Peter complained.

Charlie chuckled softly. “Sorry son.”

"Mum, wake up and make him stop. Please!"

“Hey, I’m not that bad! There are worse things I could say.” Charlie moved closer to Duffy and placed the baby on Duffy’s chest, careful of the wires.

The baby nuzzled closer, sleeping contentedly despite his surroundings.

"I think he knows she's his mum." Peter remarked.

“He does.” Charlie smiled.

Peter fidgeted nervously with his mum's hand. "She's not wearing her rings." Peter suddenly realised.

The baby’s cheek was against Duffy’s chest, listening to the sound of his mum’s heartbeat.

"Where are they? She'll be really upset if they're missing."

“She’s not?” Charlie frowned, “I’ll ask the surgeon. I can’t remember if she was wearing them at home.”

"I can't remember either. Maybe Megan will know."

“I’ll ask her in the morning when she’s woken up, ok?”

"I was thinking of using some of my pocket money to treat her to something nice. She's been really great while you've been away."

“Megan?”

"Yeh, she's been amazing."

“She’s been an amazing presence throughout mine and your mum’s life.”

"She and mum don't argue like mum and gran sometimes do. Well, not in the same way. Mum doesn't get so cross when Megan tells her to do stuff."

“Your mum and gran are too similar but don’t tell your mum I said that.”

"I thought you said mum could hear us?"

“Yeah she can but the chances are, she might not remember what we’ve said when she wakes up.” Charlie smiled.

"OK." Peter considered the thought for a moment. "Mum it was me that broke the vase not Jake." He confessed.

Charlie found an extra chair and pulled it up along side Peter’s chair. “Ah, so you’re the one who broke that vase? How did you break it?”

"Threw my bag on the table without looking first." Peter shrugged.

“And your brother got the blame?”

"Yeh... Mum started yelling at Jake thinking it was him and, well, I just didn't correct her."

Charlie shook his head fondly. “That’s naughty!”

"Yeh, I get that but she was yelling and I didn't fancy getting in the shit with her."

Charlie laughed gently. “Peter?”

"Yeh?"

“I’d like you to see a counsellor.”

"What?" Peter pulled a face.

“A counsellor. I’d like you to see one.” Charlie met his son's gaze, “You’ve been through a traumatic experience.”

"One of the girls at school had to see a counsellor coz her mum went mental."

“Did it help her?”

Peter shrugged. "She doesn't come to school much."

“What’s she called?”

"Ella. She lives round the corner from Sarah."

“Are you close to her?”

"Sarah knows her better than I do. There was tons of police there when it happened. Sarah could see them arriving from her room."

“When what happened?”

"Her mum totally lost it."

“She hurt herself?”

"I think so. Everyone at school was talking about it."

“Mental health issues aren’t great. I have depression sometimes as you know.”

"Yeh, but you wouldn't do something like that while we were in the house?"

“No but sometimes you don’t have a choice.” Charlie admitted, “When your head is too loud, sometimes you need to get it to be quiet.”

"I guess that makes sense."

“That’s why I want you to see a counsellor.”

"Coz you think I'm gunna do something like that?"

“No. But I want you to talk to someone about how you’re feeling because I don’t want you to bottle everything up.”

"OK. Can I think about it?"

“I can come with you, if you like?” Charlie suggested and nodded.

"Maybe. I don't want mum getting upset about it."

“Your mum will understand, trust me?”

"I don't want her to feel bad. Like it's her fault coz it's not."

“She won’t feel bad because she’ll understand it’s not her fault. These things happen.” Charlie smiled.

"You say that..."

“Leave your mum to me ok? Please don’t stress.”

"OK." Other than the beeping of the machines there was silence for several minutes. "Its weird seeing mum this quiet."

“I know. She’s never ever been this quiet in the twenty years I’ve known her.”

"Its unnerving."

“I agree.”

"Oli seems to like it though."

“Oli?”

"I heard mum and Megan talking about names. I don't really like Thomas."

[aion-rsa]

How The Mandalorian Resurrected a Jedi to Cover Luke’s Surprise Role

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It’s been nearly a year since The Mandalorian’s second season finale used the Force to floor the collective fandom with Luke Skywalker’s surprise, age-erased, cameo. Yet, the afterglow of the moment remains widely resplendent due to the sheer shock value; a response attributed to producers’ ability to keep the Disney property’s stunning state secret. Now, the full extent of the sneaky endeavor has been uncovered, revealing how the return of Star Wars’ first and most famous hero was obscured by an intriguing Jedi substitute: Plo Koon.  

It should come as no big surprise that, in an era of leaked concepts and trailers (we’re looking at you, Spider-Man: No Way Home), the words “Luke” and “Skywalker,” were strictly forbidden to use—either apart or together—during production of The Mandalorian‘s second season, due to the enormous magnitude of THE secret that needed to be kept in a difficult marathon fashion across the frame’s entire 8-episode run. However, the second Season 2 episode of Disney+ behind-the-scenes documentary series Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian has revealed how the creative coalition navigated this proverbial Death Star trench run, notably with Plo Koon as red herring firewall of sorts for leaked Luke intel. Interestingly, Koon wasn’t even a random choice, and actually reflected a clever methodology that predicted the logic of prospective prognosticating fans.  

“It’s fairly well known by deep core fans that Plo Koon is my favorite Jedi,” says executive producer (and onscreen portrayer of pilot Trapper Wolf,) Dave Filoni. “And a lot of people—if Plo Koon from the script got out—would assume, ‘Well, oh of course,’ because Dave loves Plo Koon. So, there’s these layers of intrigue we try to weave.”

The episode, in pulling back the magic curtain of creativity behind the technology that brought a Return of the Jedi era Luke Skywalker back to life on screen in 2020, reveals that Mark Hamill himself put in a performance of sorts, brought on-set to record HD footage of his facial expressions while reciting the dialogue. Said expressions were eventually rendered with a version of deepfake technology onto a double named Matt Rugetti, the man actually seen in the unforgettable finale scene. However, as Filoni elaborates of Rugetti’s initial depiction on the set, “We had a digital Plo Koon head placed on the actor in dailies, so it looked like Plo Koon.”

Disney+

Moreover, the façade was further facilitated by the creation of artwork and temporary digital effects and models, which wrought renditions of Plo Koon as a substitute for Luke in the now-iconic scene, notably with one impressive piece of apocrypha, showing Koon systematically slicing and dicing Moff Gideon’s prized robotic Dark Troopers. Indeed, the measures implemented to maintain the secrecy of Luke’s arrival were not only elaborate, but had to be maintained—under penalty of Disney-deal consequences—for around 15 months to two years. The tension—now revealed in hindsight—was palpable from the accounts. Pertinently, visual effects supervisor Richard Bluff describes the secret-keeping in an almost post-traumatic way, stating, “We were never allowed to say it [Luke Skywalker]. Even now when we refer back to what we did, we talk about the code names. We simply do not utter those two words.”

Plo Koon is a major name to Star Wars fans, but the Jedi is, understandably, not well-known to the general moviegoing public—although a flash at the Kel Dor Jedi’s distinctively-alien countenance (almost akin to a more-humanoid rendition of director David Cronenberg’s The Fly,) would still likely evoke an “Oh yeah, that one.” Koon, a Jedi Council member, was seen across all three entries of the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, known for his signature mask and goggles—necessary accessories, since oxygen is toxic to his species. The presumed end of his arc—such as it was, with only a few scenes, sans a single line—came about in 2005’s Revenge of the Sith during the Order 66 death montage, in which his Jedi Starfighter was destroyed during a Clone Wars campaign on Cato Neimodia, shot in explosive fashion from behind by the very Clone-piloted ARC-170 starfighters he was leading into battle. However, Filoni, as showrunner of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, took advantage of its pre-Sith era to utilize Koon frequently, and even revealed that he was the Jedi who found Ahsoka Tano as a Force-sensitive small child on her home planet of Togruta, and brought her back to train with the Jedi on Coruscant.

Disney+

However, the episode’s director, Peyton Reed, initially fell into the “Oh yeah, that one” category, and pretty much reacted accordingly when he was given an early version of the script in question, for “Chapter 16: The Rescue,” in which it states that Plo Koon, who is “not dead after all,” made the episode’s climactic entrance, and takes Baby Yoda/Grogu away for proper Jedi training. While Reed is obviously experienced, and a member in good standing of the Disney creative clubhouse, having helmed Marvel’s Ant-Man films—including the upcoming Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania—even he felt shocked and understandably overwhelmed when creator Jon Favreau finally told him to whom the term “Plo Koon” really referred around The Mandalorian set.

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“I knew Plo Koon was a Jedi, I think, from the prequel trilogy, and I was like how are we visualizing this?,” says Reed of his initial underwhelming reaction. “He [Favreau] said ‘Come over in the corner, I want to talk to you.’ And he gave me the real news, that it was, in fact, not Plo Koon, but it was going to be Luke. And I needed a moment, and I needed to know, because I’ve had a long relationship with John, and I said ‘Are you being serious right now? Is this real? You’re bringing the guy back?’ and he said ‘We’re bringing the guy back.’”

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Of course, The Mandalorian’s Luke Skywalker cameo was met with resounding praise, standing distinctly as the kind of widespread pop culture moment that has seemingly been lost in a content-saturated era, in which algorithms inveigle our interests, creating a segmented society. However, The Mandalorian will take another shot at matching—or possibly topping—that monumental moment with its upcoming third season, which is roughly scheduled for a 2022 Disney+ premiere. Yet, it won’t be the streamer’s only live-action Star Wars fare by that time, since the show it directly spun-off, The Book of Boba Fett, will arrive this Christmas, and offerings like Kenobi and Andor are also on the slate for ’22, with even more to come on the far horizon.

As for the fate of our substitute Jedi, to paraphrase Chevy Chase, “Jedi Master Plo Koon is still dead.”

The post How The Mandalorian Resurrected a Jedi to Cover Luke’s Surprise Role appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[fictionerd]

GOOD. TO. SEE. YOU. FRIENDS!!!

Here we are! The first post of Summer Season 2018 and we’ll be covering Planet With. This series is released on Sundays and can be watched on Crunchyroll. 

Okay, so let’s cover what we learn from the first two episodes of Planet With.

In episode one we’re introduced to Souya, a young amnesiac who dreams of horrifying giant draconic creature attacking a city and some one flying off to confront it. See it’s shit like this that causes dragons to have a bad reputation. Seriously I can’t believe these assholes who go around burning whatever the hell they want just because they can breath fire. If it weren’t for them dimensional travel wouldn’t be such a daunting prospect for me. I never know when some one is going to have a traumatic flashback and attack me all because some scaley clown got it into their head to “burninate” something.

Sorry, I’m digressing again. After waking up from his ptsdream Souya prepares to have a normal breakfast with his perfectly normal housemates of a large cat-person and green-haired maid. 

Oh wait... My bad. See I’m used to hanging out with a Teddy-Bear whisperer with the ability to access the life’s memory of a version of herself in any given universe, an elf who ONLY exists in the metaverse of the Akashic Record, and most recently a shadow-monster who spent three months pretending to be Swole-Bear. There was also that time I tried to hang out with a copy of a video game character, but we’re not considering that canon anymore. At least not entirely for legal reasons. Oh! There’s also the British man who tears holes in dimensions to fight against “unfair fates” who I’m apparently hosting a podcast with now? My point being that to me the above image is perfectly normal. To most anyone else this is probably at least a three on the Sir Memery WTF chart.

After finishing his veggie breakfast Souya sets off for school complaining about wanting to eat some meat where he bumps into his class rep whose name he has forgotten. You’d think this is just an excuse to set up Tsundere vibes with her, but no it’s far FAR worse than that. See her name is: Kagaratamaha? [wrong buzzer] Hakatamagara? [wrong buzzer] Ta-ka-ma-ga-ha-ra? [Correct Tone] 

So Nickname Pending is worried about Souya and how he doesn’t make friends at his new school. This is because she knows what it’s like to be the new kid, and has apparently never watched an anime in her life so she doesn’t quite grasp the concept of “Leave the mysterious blue-haired transfer alone”.

Side Note: This character’s introduction marks the first time I’ve ever gotten a Japanese pun without some one explaining it to me. So allow me to ruin it for you all by explaining it. She offers Souya some of her Hamburger Steak to which he replies with tears of join “Megane-sama” which she mishears as “Megami-sama” and sheepishly replies that she doesn’t think she’s a goddess before immediately realizing what he’d actually said. This leads into the reveal of her actual name which I refuse to ever use the entirety of again because I honestly don’t think the joke is that funny.

Later that day Souya’s shounen receptors begin to tingle as he picks up on the impending conflict of the story. A UFO is sighted offshore headed towards the city. When the air-force is deployed to deal with the object (Picture in header) they find themselves the victim of some strange joyous delusion and leave the object alone. it’s only when seven strange people, apparently psychics of some kind, utilize their powers to confront it is it stopped. We see one of these people enter the object through a “Weak Point” and have his own delusion.

See, his mother was killed in a fire when he was a little boy causing him to become a firefighter. The UFO hits his brain with a delusion of child him being held back from the blaze by a firefighter only for that firefighter to turn out to be adult him. Adult Firefighter Psychic dude runs into the fire, saves his mom, and the two of them walk through the cherry blossoms as he sorts through all the pent up regrets he has about not being able to save her when he was a kid. Only after we’ve conveniently gotten to know this character’s defining trauma does his squad get through to him and break the delusion, then he uses his Psychic Golem Powers to wreck the hell out of the UFO causing it and copies of it that had appeared around the world to disappear all at once. The same can be said for the Psychics who all blast off to separate places to avoid the fate of E.T. one presumes

While all this was going on Souya got a call from Ginko (That’s green-haired maid lady for those not following the series who also don’t care about spoilers). She tells Souya that he has to defeat “it”, but contrary to what everyone in the audience thinks it turns out that “it” refers to one of the Psychics and not the UFO thing. After Ex-Firefighter current world-saver exits the bushes onto a highway he encounters Souya the cat-man and Ginko. Souya is sporting a mask and being basically lead by the nose at the behest of Catman and Ginko. Now hold onto your seats because this is where shit gets REALLY weird. 

Catman swallows Souya turning into a mech in the process that Souya is now piloting. They get into a fight with Firefighter dude who summons up his psychic golem thing. After fumbling around at Ginko’s direction Souya manages to pilot the Catmech to victory over Psychic Fireman and retrieves a vial of star-shaped dust that is the “source of his power”. At which point I’m lead to believe that Souya recovered his memories because he shouts at Firefighter to tell his friends that Souya is going to kick their collective asses. This is presumably because he believes them to be behind his ptsdream.

After the credits roll we see a scene where a guy I can only describe a scruffy Alder from Pokemon Gen 5 says ominously that Firefighter dude had been taken out.

So, before even watching episode two I can already hands-down predict that this guy is the Draconic asshole from Souya’s ptsdream. Not sure how everything fits together but my working theory is that Souya’s from another planet that Earth governments or some shadowy organization somehow invaded and stole something from. Souya is a sleeper agent and the “Peas” balloon things are meant to lure out those in possession of the Stolen Macguffin or whatever.

There we have Episode One. Please excuse me now while I go watch Episode Two. Well... I mean you can just keep reading by the time this goes up but... BRB!

[Approximately 30min later]

Well my theory from about two paragraphs ago is up in smoke as soon as the opening scenes of this episode roll in and further dashed upon the rocks by Ginko later in the episode. All things in their proper order.

So Torai (That’s firefighter-guy’s name btw) makes his report to dragon-man about his encounter with Soya and company. The other six Psychic warriors all make jabs at him as though he died even when he’s sitting right there in an example of a gag that is legit funny unlike Tara’s name from last episode. While we’re talking about the exposition meeting may I just say that I feel BETRAYED!

See Dragon CEO guy is as nerdy as I AM! He’s the one who found out that the enemy force is called Nebula. He called the giant abominations “Nebula Weapons” gives Soya and Company the name Nebula Soldiers, and what does he call the Psychic Golems his crew uses to fight? Psychokinetic Mega-God Photon Armor. If I didn’t know better I’d think my pops made him from the same mold as me no less. Oh, and their little world-saving club? It’s the Citizens' Safety Center Special Defense Section: "Grand Paladin". I’m in tears, people, this is a Draconid after my own heart.

So, the “Grand Paladin” peeps implement the buddy system in case they run into Soya again. Meanwhile Soya’s having a sulk because apparently Ginko and “Sensei” dragged him to Earth to be their soldier. He goes out on a walk in Iron Clogs (I’m guessing this is a joke I’m not getting). On the run he meets up with Torai who just happens to have purchased a bunch of meat buns from a convenience store. They have a conversation because Torai is a nice guy (that’s a legit nice guy not the version that’s been turned into a derogatory term by certain groups online). See Torai, while out looking for his attacker couldn’t help noticing what he thought was a middle-schooler sitting on a random bench crying and came over to see if there was anything he could do to help.

He gives Soya a bun they chat for a bit with Soya desperately trying both not to give away who he really is as well as to eat the bun because dammit he just wants some MEAT for once! All of a sudden the evacuation alarm is sounded because this wonderful abomination has appeared off shore.

Nebula really needs to consult a different artist about their designs. I personally recommend @dashfox1artwork. 

Robin: Shamelessly plugging your internet friends are we dragon-boy? 

Fic: If you’re not going to show up and fight keep your mouth shut Shadow-bear. I’m just doing my part to show that not all Dragons are assholes. Robin: Whatever you say.

So, the six remaining Psycho-God pilots attack the Ugly Bacon Idol and the pink-haired girl of the team, Miu, is the one to enter the core. The hallucination she sees is of her beating her friend Harumi (Pilot of the Bear-armor) at apparently a Judo competition. We find out that Miu has always just wanted to be strong, and we also learn that she IS strong being able to break through the illusion of the Nebula Weapon with relative ease and destroy the thing. It’s at this point that I should mention that a message has flashed before each of the characters who take one of these things out. In Miu’s case the message was “It’s okay to be weak”. For Torai in episode one the message was “I forgive you” presumably preying on his regrets about his mom.

After Piggy McHideous is dispatched the group separates into its pairs and as we expected Soya and Co target the pair with a member who just fought a battle, but let’s back up for a second because there’s some exposition from Ginko during the fight with the Baconator that needs addressing.

She reveals to Soya that Nebula is indeed the name of the group they work for, but there are multiple faction. Ginko and “Sensei” are with the “Pacifist Faction” whereas the Monuments to terrible design sense that have been popping up in the harbor belong to the “Sealing Faction”. Basically think of this as political parties. One wants to prevent humanity from rising up against them one day by brutally suppressing their ability to advance and keep them in a state of complacency, while the other just wants to take away any dangerous toys that humanity might come up with and hope that they can “guide” humanity onto the path of “Love” rather than “Power”.

Hmmm one group bent on maintaining their personal status quo at the cost of anyone else and another that wants to control precisely what power the general populace has access to in order to “guide” them on the “right path”? I wonder where I’ve heard that one before?

Sorry about that. The Writer is coming through me a little strongly there. Point is that Ginko is using Soya to enact social and ideological control... I MEAN to take away the magical stardust that allows the Psycho-God Pilots to do their thing... yeah. Back to the proper progress of the episode: Soya once again pilots his cat-mecha-sensei to fight against Miu and Harumi. It is a pretty fun fight, but all things must go as has been foretold. So after being on the ropes for most of the conflict Soya turns everything around at the last second with a miracle uppercut against the Bunny-god armor. As Miu is falling back to Earth Ginko appears and grabs the stardust vial away from her. Apparently Ginko can just Mary Poppins herself to wherever she pleases? They all land and Ginko’s like “That’s all for today”, but Soya’s having none of it. He’s ready to take the fight to Bear-mech too when all the other Psycho-Pilots show up including CEO Dragonface to say “Checkmate”, and that’s where our story concludes for now.

Y’know I’m coming more and more around to the opinion that we should be routing for “Grand Paladin” here rather than the lady influencing Soya or the massive, faceless organization that wants to turn us all into Proles from 1984. I mean, yeah, they do have the snake-eyed dude. They meet in what appears to be some sort of board room, and the writing seems to indicate that they’re the “Antagonists” if not the villains, but so far they don’t seem to be anything but a collection of well-intentioned if somewhat zany people. Even the big CEO-type with the intimidating presence, as was discussed earlier, is a lovable and hammy goofball. 

I love any series that makes its antagonists human. Granted cartoonish villainy and even edgelordiness has its place in stories, but when you can make your antagonists and especially your villains feel human and relatable it just rings home that nobody is the villain in their own story. Everyone has reasons for what they do. They may not have excuses or justifications, but they all have reasons.

For instance, I have a reason for breaking my own rules here by reading my political views into the story.

[pauses for dramatic effect]

Yes, yes I’m sure you’re all very shocked at this revelation. I mean I was so subtle about it (/s). My reason is that when I went back and really thought about what the “Sealing” and “Pacifist” factions of Nebula stood for I (and this is really the nerd behind The Nerd speaking) couldn’t help but see parallels to some of the more distasteful extremes of Conservative and Liberal politics at work. Both sides seek to impose their morality upon others. While one does so by attempting to keep people complacent with the status quo, the other does it by appealing to the rebellious nature inherent in people and channeling it into “causes”.They use guilt and peer pressure to convince people that their way of thinking is correct and I absolutely cannot stand seeing it happen. Especially when they prey upon others using causes that need legitimate champions! 

The goals of the “Pacifist” faction are arguably “good”. They are part of a group that has watched humanity evolve and they only want the best for us. They “keep their involvement to a minimum”, but at the end of the day they’re doing the same thing that the “Sealing” faction is doing. They’re enforcing their own will on humanity by taking away humanity’s means to fight against them, or anyone for that matter.

In the anime this is likely because the “Pacifist” faction is short-sighted and hasn’t stopped to consider what will happen to humanity when they take away the only weapon they have against the “Sealing” faction, but in reality? In reality groups like the “Pacifist” Faction either are themselves or contain an element that wants the people they’re disarming to become reliant upon them for what they need. They take away that person’s own weapons and replace them with their own. They dictate the rules of battle and push you to come to them for aid and defense. They accrue personal power and influence at the cost of their followers’ freedom of thought.

These are important things to think about and be on the lookout for, and it’s an issue that is very prevalent in my own life and dealings online. So those are my reasons for why I read political allegory into the factions of Planet With. Now am I justified for doing this when I so often decry others for “reading shit that isn’t there into stories”? No, of course I’m not. Or rather I’m not justified using that argument against people who dropped a show as a result of what they read into it. 

I’m not going to lie. I’m inexperienced with expressing views on creative work online, and am overly sensitive to certain things. I’m just as flawed as anybody else. It’s hard for me to understand when people see “bullshit” in something that I didn’t see. It’s hard for me to accept some one calling a show (particularly one I like) “Garbage” when really it’s just not clicking with them. I know that I’ve been guilty of calling a show “Garbage” in my time, but it’s a term I hope to avoid moving forward. I want to live up to my professed belief that there is good to be found in all fiction, even the “bad” fiction. Part of that is accepting the responsibility I tell others they need to accept. To practice what I preach.

If I’m determined that the Audience has just as important a role in creating art as the Authors then I need to learn to accept the interpretations of my fellow audience members, and to feel free to express my own interpretations of things.

[stops to take a break and slide back into character]

Wow... That ended up being a lot heavier than I imagined. What a way to kick off the summer season! There’s more to come but for now I need a break, and the writer could probably use a nap.

Until next post keep talking fiction, friends! I’ll see you soon

[punkfistfights]

and the beat goes on - chapter 1

Pairings: Cassandra Cain/Stephanie Brown, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Roy Harper/Koriand’r/Jason Todd, Tim Drake/Conner Kent, Barbara Gordon/Dinah Laurel Lance, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown & Kara Danvers, Dick Grayson & Barbara Gordon, past Dick Grayson/Barbara Gordon, background Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle, background Kara Danvers/Cassie Sandsmark, mentioned Artemis Crock/Megan Morse

Characters: Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Wally West, Koriand’r | Kory Anders, Roy Harper, Conner Kent, Megan Morse, Bruce Wayne, Dinah Lance, Kara Danvers, Clark Kent, Selina Kyle, Cassie Sandsmark, Diana Prince, Garfield Logan, Rachel Roth | Raven, Victor Stone, Helena Bertinelli, Zinda Blake

Warnings: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Nonlinear Timeline, One-Shots, Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Content, Queerplatonic Relationship, Race Changes, Japanese!Stephanie, Japanese!Tim, Mexican!Jason, Black!Wally, Afro-Cuban!Barbara, Mental Health Issues, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Mentioned Child Abuse, Neurodivergence, Autistic Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Female Character, Queer Themes, Disabled Character

Summary: The band Bats Out of Hell is one of vast popularity in the United States and UK - but it’s also one that is knee-deep in scandal and has been since its inception, when it was a trio: singer Dick Grayson, guitarist Babs Gordon, and drummer Jason Todd.

After ten years of being together, the band has split and reformed in so many ways but with one constant: Bruce Wayne is its manager and he makes sure it succeeds.

Notes: this is a fucking labor of love, guys. i love this au, i love these characters, and i love the way it’s forming. it’s gonna be a pretty angsty fic at times, but mostly it’ll be just fun!

oh, and everyone’s either queer, a poc, neurodivergent, disabled, or all four (babs). 

{read on ao3}

i. band bonding - part one 

“Stephanie, was it necessary for you to end the show by kissing my daughter and flipping off the paparazzi?” Bruce asked, a grumble to his words. 

Steph shrugged from where she was sprawled across the couch, her head resting on Cass’s stomach with Cass’s long fingers stroking through her newly-dyed blonde curls, and her feet bare and in Tim’s lap. Tim was working on painting them, an almost comically adorable expression of concentration on his face as he focused on her pinkie toe. “Yeah, kinda,” she said. “I’m tired and, more importantly, Cass is tired of them claiming we’re ‘gal pals’, whatever the fuck that means.”

Bruce scowled and it grew as Selina, his wife, and Damian, his son, walked in right as Steph cursed. “How old are you, Stephanie?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes. “You know how old I am, boss-man. I’m sorry I was ‘immature’ or whatever.” She smiled lazily as Cass continued to play with her long locks.

Damian shook his little head. “Tt, father, why are you bothering with Fatgirl? She doesn’t care.”

“Fuck you very much, mini-asshole,” Steph said without missing a beat. Cass stopped her ministrations to slap her on the shoulder and, when Steph looked up at her with a pout on her face, arch an eyebrow. “Ugh, I’m sorry, D. You know I love you.”

A strangled laugh escaped Tim’s throat as Damian scowled at her. Dick, Wally, and Duke chose this moment to walk in. “Who do you love, Steph?” Dick asked.

“Baby D. He’s my favorite little asshole,” Steph said, winking at him.

“Steph, darling, perhaps you should stop calling Damian an asshole before Bruce officially loses his shit,” Selina said, not bothering to stifle her amusement. When her husband turned to her, a dark expression on his face, she simply smirked and blew him a kiss.

“Fine, ‘Li,” Steph said, pouting at Selina.

Selina sent her a wink. “Anyway, I came to get you, Bruce. It’s band bonding time and, by unanimous decision, you’re not allowed to be present,” she said, setting her hand on the wide slope of her curvaceous hip.

Bruce looked taken aback. “When was this decided?”

“Last week,” Dick said as he flopped onto the loveseat, pulling Wally down with him. Duke shook his head and laughed as he sat down in a much more sedate manner. “Sorry, B, but you make Wally uncomfy and Steph and Jay get all antagonistic.”

He didn’t look at all sorry.

“Come on, love. You, Damian, and I are going to the theatre and then dinner,” Selina said, dropping her hand from her hip and reaching forward to capture Bruce’s wrist. “I gave Alfie the night off and everything.”

Bruce looked like he was going to protest for a moment, but decided not to. Instead he just shook his head. “Fine,” he said. Try not to cause a scandal.” Steph wasn’t sure if he was addressing Dick or all of them with that last sentence, but she nodded anyways.

“We got you! Go be domestic and shit with your son and wife,” Steph said, lazily saluting him.

Bruce just rolled his eyes again before turning to Duke. “Don’t let things get out of hand.”

“Hey!” Dick exclaimed, an offended look crossing his face. “Why are you telling Duke that? I’m the oldest!”

“And Duke’s the least likely to get into a fight with a member of the paparazzi,” Bruce retorted, sending his adopted-son a look.

No one could argue with that.

After one last narrow-eyed glare at them, Bruce allowed Selina to guide him out of the room and Steph released a bright laugh.

“So,” she began, sitting up but not moving her feet from Tim’s lap, “now that Bruce is gone, let’s have some fun.” She smirked. “I vote...club.”

“Ugh, but clubs mean paparazzi and judgement,” Tim complained.

Duke snorted and rolled his eyes. “Tim, we’re famous. Everything means paparazzi and judgement.”

Wally barked out a laugh and, now that Bruce was gone, relaxed into Dick’s side. “I mean, Duke has a point.”

“Come on guys,” Steph wheedled. “I wanna dance and get wasted.”

Cass made a soft sound. “Steph is right. We should dance.”

Steph sent the group a victorious look. No one would argue when Cass said she wanted something, they all had a soft spot for her (and in turn Cass had a soft spot for Steph and always would).

“Fine,” Dick said, “But I’m gonna call and invite Jay, Kory, and Roy.”

“Only if I get to invite Con!” Tim said.

“Duh. And I’m inviting Babs, Dinah, Kara, and Cassie,” Steph said. “This is gonna be hella.”

“So, let’s go get ready and meet back here in two hours,” Tim said. “Anyone know what club we’re going to?”

“Yeah,” Steph said, grinning. “Helena invited me to hers, so that’s where we’re heading.”

Dick grinned. “Sweet! I’ve been dying to check that place out. ‘Lena always has the best booze!”

[talia-suskauer]

Once Again - Part Five

Well, here we go. Part 5 is finished. It’s definitely leading into drama for part 6, which will be up soon enough. I really hope you all enjoy this part :) -Megan

Previous parts: one | two | three | four

–

Owen and Amelia had been sleeping in the same bed again for a month. That was the most that they did though. Owen occasionally tried to go in for a hug or a kiss but Amelia was quick to get away and avoid them. The most they’d touched was their hands grazing against each other if they were passing things to one another at work, or their bodies touching while passing by one another. Their conversations were limited to simple things for the most part- hello, goodbye, have a good day, goodnight. 

After pulling some strings, Jake was going to be back and forth between LA and Seattle until the end of her pregnancy when he’d be sticking around until the baby was born. Amelia had originally thought about going back to LA for a few months. Mentioning it to Owen though, he didn’t want that. He fought harder than anyone to give Jake privileges at the hospital so that Amelia wouldn’t leave again. Owen didn’t understand why it was so important to her to have Jake as her doctor, but he knew he wouldn’t get much of an answer if he were to ask.

Amelia was miserable, and everyone could see it. She was tired. Emotionally and mentally she was completely drained. It wasn’t a new feeling, but it was one she had hoped to never feel again. She was just trying to keep herself going. She was trying to compartmentalize everything like she had last time, but it wasn’t as easy as it was the first time around. There wasn’t anyone left at work that she hadn’t snapped at. Many of the residents were avoiding her like the plague if they could, with the exception of Stephanie. Most of her coworkers knew what was going on with the baby, and they were all giving her space. 

–

Amelia was bringing a patient up to surgery, and she passed Owen. She glanced up at him, the two briefly locking eyes. Neither one said a word to the other, and she pressed on. Owen sighed, and looked down at the tablet in his hands. April stood nearby and approached him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Are things not any better between you two?” she asked him.

“We sleep in the same bed, but we don’t have much else going for us,” he admitted.

“It must be hard for her,” April said. “My situation with Samuel was so hard to go through. I know this is probably killing her. It’s hard knowing that you’re going to lose your child.”

“I know,” he said. “But it’s killing me too. At first, I pushed her away a little bit as well. But I thought we were going to make progress when we started sharing the bed again. We didn’t. I try to hug her, or kiss her sometimes, or even touch her and she pushes me away and avoids it. I.. I need my wife, April,” he said, his voice shaking. He was trying not to get too emotional since he was at work.

“I’m so sorry,” April whispered, giving him a hug.

“She had a baby once before,” Owen told her after a brief silence between the two of them.

“She told me that when she was having her pregnancy scare. I never knew that about her. I don’t think many people do,” she said, pulling out of the embrace.

“Her baby lived for forty three minutes,” he said, thinking back to what Amelia had mentioned to him once. “She told me that a while back. I don’t know what happened.”

“I don’t know what happened. That in itself must have been pretty traumatic, especially given that the baby’s father was dead.”

Owen furrowed his brow, setting the tablet down on the desk they were standing near. April noticed the look on his face and she immediately realized that she had said too much.

“She didn’t tell you that part, did she?” April asked. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“Well, it’s not like she’s going to tell me anything,” Owen commented coldly. “I guess there’s a lot I don’t know about my wife and what’s gone on in her life.”

“Have you asked her?” April wondered, giving Owen a concerned look.

“Before she left a few months ago, she said she didn’t want a baby. When she got back, she told me she just wasn’t ready. I didn’t think there was much else to it,” he told her.

“So maybe you need to talk to your wife about this Owen. Nothing is going to come from talking about it with me. Deep down I’m sure Amelia needs you. If she’s pushing you away, I doubt it’s personal, I think it’s probably just easier for her. She went through a pregnancy alone last time, without the baby’s father. She probably doesn’t know how to let you in now,” she said.

–

That night when Owen got home, Amelia wasn’t there. He set his things down and hung up his jacket. So many things played in his mind. He knew that he and Amelia needed to talk. He had questions, and he was sure there were things that she wasn’t telling him. He didn’t understand why she was shutting him out of her life during this. What April said could be true, that she didn’t know how to let him in. But all it was doing was making things worse between them. It felt like their marriage was hanging by a thread. He didn’t want their tragedy to tear them apart. He wanted them to be there for each other, making it through this together, supporting one another. It was a hard, emotional time for them and Owen wanted Amelia. He needed her.

He never thought that them having a baby would turn out this way. It wasn’t either of their faults, but it was hard to handle. He always pictured them having a baby being the best day of their lives. He imagined them doing what a lot of parents do upon hearing they’re expecting. He thought they’d be picking out cribs and clothes, setting up a nursery, talking to the baby, thinking about names to give their bundle of joy. They were going to have a baby, but she wasn’t going to live long, if at all. He wasn’t going to have a little girl to raise and see grow up. That broke his heart into more pieces than he thought was possible.

When Amelia walked in the door, she didn’t say a word. She did the same as Owen did, hanging up her jacket and putting her things down. Owen wasn’t going to let this be another day of nothingness between them. He needed answers, he needed her to be open with you.

“Amelia, we need to talk,” he stated.

“I don’t think we do,” she retorted. “I don’t want to talk, Owen. You should be aware of that by now,” she said.

“I don’t care if you don’t want to. We have to do this because I am sick and tired of my wife pushing me away.”

Amelia scowled and shook her head, walking past him to head over to the fridge. She pulled out a bottle of water, uncapping it. She had a long day, the last thing she wanted was to argue with Owen, or to have him lecture her about shutting him out. She wasn’t in the mood.

“Amelia, look at me,” he said.

She didn’t, and moved with her water bottle over to the couch, sitting down. 

“I said I wasn’t talking about anything, Owen. You need to get that through your head,” she muttered.

Owen groaned, growing increasingly frustrated. He wasn’t going to get angry with her though, he needed her to talk to him. He sat down next to her.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your baby’s father dying when you were pregnant before?”

Amelia turned and faced him. Her stomach was in knots.

“Don’t do this,” she said.

“Why did your baby only live for forty three minutes?”